#I never see any progress!! I just make the same bad choices over and over and then resolve to change again and again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

froggibus · 10 months

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The Second Choice - Leon S Kennedy

Pairing: Leon S Kennedy x gn! reader

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 2k

Summary: after losing Ada, Leon can’t get her off of his mind—and can’t stop comparing you to her

CW: angst, feelings of inadequacy, second guessing, unhealthy relationship, feelings of loss, allusion to death/loss, Leon comparing you to Ada, alcohol abuse, hurt comfort, groveling (but pretty weak cause I can never stay mad at this man), arguing, insecurities, allusion to panic attacks

honestly have been feeling super angsty the past few days and needed to write a lil angst as a treat to myself lol. definitely not my best work but whatever

————

It’s no secret that after he lost Ada, your boyfriend was never quite the same. Aside from having nightmares for months, he also never quite got over her.

You’d be lying if you said a part of you wasn’t relieved the day he told you the news. She was always a point of contention in your relationship and you felt as though Leon would never be able to fully give himself to you as long as she was in the picture. You thought this would be a new leaf for you guys, a step in the right direction to further progress your relationship.

You’ve never been more wrong.

The first few months of the aftermath were rough. Leon drank more and came home less, and the times he came home made you wish he never did. You tried to take a deep breath and turn the other cheek to his drinking. He’s in pain, you’d remind yourself. He needs time.

It all came to a head one night after he hadn’t been home in almost a week—too busy out on a binge. You had been texting and calling him the whole week, desperately clinging onto him when you knew he didn’t belong to you. He never did.

Leon got home with the worst hangover of his life, hoping to just crash in bed and forget for a while. It had been so long since he slept—the nightmares that plagued him chasing away any hope of rest. But today he felt tired enough and the comfort of having you at home was more than enough to have the man dreaming of sleeping the whole way home.

The last thing he wanted to see was his bed covered in your clothes, a suitcase thrown open on your side of the bed and you desperately rummaging through the closet. “Honey?” He spoke softly, voice raspy from the constant burn of alcohol.

Your head snapped up, red rimmed eyes meeting his. “You’re back.”

“What’s going on? What’s—what’s all this?”

You almost felt bad for him. “I need some time away, Leon. I-I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” He wrinkled his nose in confusion.

“This. The long nights and the drinking and you never coming home anymore. It’s killing me, Leon. And I,” your voice broke and you took a deep breath, “I deserve better.”

Leon felt his heart drop into his stomach, a weight forcing him onto his knees, He looked up at you with glistening eyes, “y/n, please don’t do this. Please. I-I love you, I don’t know who I am without you.”

You sighed, trying to swallow back the lump in your throat. It’s not fair, it’s never been fair. But it’s Leon, and you’ve always loved him, and no matter how angry you were in the moment, you knew he needed you.

“Alright,” you said quietly, placing the suitcase back in the closet.

Hope filled Leon’s eyes once more, like azure sparkling in sunlight. He wasted no time in striding over to you and wrapping his arms around you. He held you so tightly it hurt.

He whispered, “I promise things will get better from here. I promise, y/n.”

—

Leon doesn’t drink as much after that. He comes home at a normal time but even then it feels like your boyfriend is vacant. Gone. The closer he is to you, the further away he seems.

She’s always on his mind—and he makes that obvious to you.

Leon’s eyes practically glaze over the day he sees you wearing red. The garment clings to your body in such a perfect way, the scarlet complimenting all of your features perfectly.

You almost smile at the way his jaw drops. He’s never been a very reactive person so seeing him like this is enough to make you giggle. Of course, that’s before he speaks.

“Ada had a dress that was almost the exact same colour.”

Your heart sinks at the mention of her name. He’s grieving, you try to remind yourself. It's only natural she’s on his mind.

“Red was her favourite colour, she wore it all the time.”

You sigh, trying not to let your tensed muscles show. He misses her. It’s okay. But it’s not okay, and your stomach hurts and now you don’t want to go out at all.

“It’s kinda itchy,” you say quietly. “I’m gonna change.”

And you find yourself tossing the cloth into the bottom of your hamper, never to be worn again. In fact, you don’t feel like wearing red ever again.

The comparisons don’t stop after that day. Ada never seems to leave his mind, and any time he looks at you, there’s a look in his eyes that says he’s not really seeing you.

It feels like anything you do, anything you wear, any interest you have—she had it too.

You’re watching a movie on the couch, cuddled into his side. You have your arms wrapped around one of his, feeling the muscle beneath his skin.

You giggle and point at the tv, “I love him. He was my favorite character as a kid.”

You regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth and Leon turns to look at you. His blue eyes are clouded over with nostalgia.

“Ada always loved him, too. Only guy that ever made her flustered,” he shakes his head, smiling at the thought of her.

You can’t help but pull away from him and withdraw to your side of the couch. Leon looks at you in concern, head tilted to the side.

“Can—can you stop comparing me? I hate that,” your voice comes out exasperated and desperate.

Leon doesn’t say anything but a confused look takes over his face. His silence is almost worse than his comparisons—almost.

He’s at a loss for words. He doesn’t know what to say. That’s just how his mind works; he makes connections between things like that. A force of habit he gained from his strenuous line of work. He thought you understood that.

“Just,” you sigh, pushing yourself off of the couch, “nevermind.”

You trudge your way to the bedroom and throw yourself on the bed, closing your eyes and forcing the tears away. He promised things would get better. He promised.

—

Leon notices you withdrawing from him after that. Never in his life had he heard you sound so defeated and so angry. You’ve never been good at voicing your feelings, especially not to him, so he knew something was wrong the minute you spoke up.

“Honey?” He shuffles over to his side of the bed, the mattress dipping down under his weight.

You don’t answer, drawing your arms and knees closer to your chest. Leon sighs—he’s really messed up.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t realize I was making you so upset.” He takes a deep breath, “I just miss her so much, and you know how my brain works and—”

You whimper, “it’s not fair, Leon. You’re not being fair to me here.”

“I-I know! But you knew how things were getting into this so maybe you shouldn’t have—”

“Shouldn’t have what, Leon?” You snap.

The blond stays awfully silent, staring at his clenched fists in his lap. He doesn’t know how to talk his way out of this—he doesn’t know how to keep you with him.

“I think I need some time away.”

Leon stares at you slack jawed. As soon as you stand up, he’s jumping to his feet too. He practically dives into your way, blocking your path.

You stare at him expectantly and try to avoid the burning in your eyes.

He looks at you dead seriously. “For every thing you have in common with her, there’s another thing that you don’t.”

His words are enough to get you to sit back down on the bed. The beating in his chest settles down as you do. You’re not leaving.

“She was really athletic for one thing, and a serial flirt. I mean, she was just so beautiful she could have any man wrapped around her finger. And she loved to fight and she loved gory movies and—why are you standing up?”

Leon stares at you in confusion. Did he say something wrong? He doesn’t understand.

Your mind races a million miles a second. It’s clear from the way he talks about her that he loved her in a way he could never love you. Even from the way he talked about her compared to you. Beautiful, athletic, charismatic. Everything you wished you were, everything he wishes you are.

“I need to get out of here, I-I feel like I can’t breathe.” You clutch your chest, shoving past him and grabbing your keys and your coat.

Leon watches you walk out the door, hopeless to do anything to stop you.

—

Leon waits for you to come home, sitting in a chair by the door for hours. The more time that passes, the more worried he gets that you’ll never come home. He taps his foot in anticipation—a habit he’d never had until now.

He can’t believe how caught up he got. He was so focused on the ghosts of his past that he forgot about his future. And sitting in this old chair, his ass hurting from sitting so long, he wishes he could go back in time and shut his own stupid mouth.

It’s nearly 1am when he hears your key in the door. Leon shoots to his feet, standing only a foot away from the opening door.

The minute you see him, you feel like crying again. You were hoping he would be asleep and you wouldn’t have to have this conversation now.

You close the door behind you and lock it, not even sparing a look at Leon as you make your way down the hall and to the bathroom. You only get halfway before Leon grabs your wrist and tugs you to face him.

He drops to both knees in front of you, looking up at you with desperate eyes. “Y/n.”

You shake your head and try to tug your hand away but Leon keeps a firm grip.

“I am so fucking sorry, y/n. I-I got so caught up in things that I didn’t even realize how I was treating you. I want to make it up to you.”

“You promised things would get better, Leon.” Your voice is shaking dangerously, “but all you’ve done is make me feel like her replacement. Like I’m the next best thing. And it has me second guessing everything. How do I know you even love me for me? How do I know you love me at all?”

Leon’s heart aches at your words. He knew he messed up but he didn’t realize the extent to how unloved he was making you feel.

“No, no, no. Y/n, no. Look at me.” His eyes are wet, and he looks so vulnerable sitting in front of you on his knees. “I love you. I love you. You and only you. You’re not her, and I know that. I never loved her in the same way I love you.”

Tears fall down your cheeks, splashing on the floor in front of you and Leon.

He keeps going. “You’re not a replacement. You’ve never been a replacement. You’re the best thing I could have asked for, and I’m sorry I haven’t been the best boyfriend lately.”

Leon slowly rises to his feet, slipping his hands into yours. “Let me make it up to you. Please, let me make it up to you.”

You sigh, biting your lip and trying to force the tears away. “Leon…”

“Let me make it up to you. Let me show you how much I love you, y/n. I will do anything to make you feel happy and safe again.”

And looking into his eyes, you know he means that.

“Alright, alright, just—” you wipe your eyes and offer a weak smile, “let’s sleep on it, okay?”

Leon nods and lets you tug him to the bedroom. He still has a lot of work to do, but that can wait until the morning. For now, he’s just glad he has you back.

#resident evil 2 #resident evil x you #resident evil 4 #leon resident evil #resident evil angst #resident evil x reader #resident evil #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy angst #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #leon s kennedy angst #hurt/comfort #Leon kennedy hurt/comfort #Leon s kennedy hurt/comfort

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chososdiscordkitten · 4 months

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Obsessive!Choso♡ pt 9

pt 8 here

content: stalking (duh.) overdone sick trope 👍🏽, FINALLY something happens Jesus Christ, reader hates school, Choso can't THINK, reader HAS siblings but doesn't consider them family, not so much stalking in this one, more just progression and Choso being cute hehe (a.n) yayyy I finally finished this!!!!! sorry I was bed ridden for three days straight and finally felt the sun on my face yesterday.(depression) I know I indulged a little too much of my thoughts and feelings abt family in this one but I HAD to. Wrote this listening to 'This town- Niall Horan'

Taglist: @eristi @sunaumi @ex-ria @just-pure-trash @kha-0s @iluvreinah @iamboredowo @integers @waytootiredforthisss @1arminsimp @hannas16 @chosowhore @tojicvmslut @ofalcaodacolinablue @thesharkcollector @mochipip @hotvillianapologist @ziklope @saeline @morinuu

Obsessive!Choso who remembered how angry you looked earlier talking to your roommate, almost like you were arguing with them but he didn't know why. You seemed perfectly fine when he asked you if you were ready to go. He looked over at you, basking in the light of the moon. “Can I ask you something?” he blurted, making you look over at him. Bright eyes and a slight sneer on your lips, humming a quiet ‘mhm’ before looking back up to the sky. “What was your roommate telling you?” he asked, making your eyes turn tight, “Before we left- I mean.” he clarified. You didn't bother looking over at him, you kept your eyes on the sky before answering him. “They were telling me how rude I was being. ‘First day back and you're already running off with god knows who’ I think they said.” you repeat what they told you in a sarcastic tone, “Telling me that was sooo unlike me.” you mumbled, being able to feel his stare on your skin.

“I dunno,” you spoke up, knowing he wasn't going to say anything till you expressed your opinion on the topic. “I certainly didnt miss their lengthy lectures or their opinions on my life.” you murmured, hands in your pockets as you hummed. “Lectures?” Choso spoke up, questioning why your roommate was lecturing you. ‘Of all people in the world I refuse to believe they lecture you on your choices.’

“Mhm. They love chastising me for such stupid things. It's like I live with my mother again.” You frowned, looking over at him to see if he had heard what he needed. “And that's a bad thing?” he pinched his eyebrows, “If you grew up the same way I did, you'd never want to see your mother again, let alone live with her.” you laughed, “16 years was more than enough time living with that woman.” You joked, scanning his face and seeing he did not comprehend what you were saying.

Obsessive!Choso who blamed your words on your boozy state, making sure to remember the topic so he could ask you later. Seeing your flushed expression and thinking it was time to get you home, in hopes you’d sleep off whatever they gave you. “C’mon. Let's get you home.” he mumbled, seeing a tinge of disappointment on your face. You hummed, “I'd rather stay here forever.” swishing your torso as you looked up at the moon. It was clear from the tone you took that you were clearly inebriated. But he’d much rather have you here, tipsy and refusing to go home, than with another man who would've just hurt you. “You stay out here any longer and you'll get sick.” He took a step forward. In the state you were in, you had found confidence looming inside you, a small smirk forming at your lips before you looked at him. “I didn't know you cared.” you teased. Eyes half lidded when you saw his face turn bitter. Furrowing his eyebrows and looking at you with a hand placed flat against his chest, almost clutching his pearls. “Of course I care-” serious tone as he saw you try to suppress a laugh.

You sighed with a smile, looking down to your shoes and humming in response. Looking up at him with a hazy smile, “Take me home.” you wirred. The words that fell from your lips made a chill run down his spine, the tone you took didn't help either. Choso only nodded his head quickly before taking a step away from you, suddenly feeling like you were too close. You only raised your eyebrows at him, almost waiting for him to start walking in the direction of your house. He inhaled sharply before turning to take a step, seeing you walk right next to him. Silence. Usually the silence that fell between you two was comfortable, knowing he wasn't a man of many words at times. But this kind of silence made you want to laugh at how awkward it was. Especially anytime your hand brushed against his, he'd flinch away as though you were made of glass.

“You're so strange.” you mumbled with a smile, being able to see the side of his profile as you walked. “Strange?” he asked, looking over to you with his hands in his pockets to keep from touching you. You laughed at the way he said that word, almost like it was the last thing he was expecting to hear from you. You remembered a picture you had seen on instagram. Of a cat looking sad and apologizing for being strange and off putting- which you found hilarious because he looked exactly like that cat right now. “Yes- strange and off putting.” You smiled, mimicking what the photo said. Choso mentally was scolding himself for being that way, not knowing why you were calling him that- but thought there had to be a reason behind it.

Obsessive!Choso who took a few seconds to process what you had said, seeing you look up at the stars as you walked on the sidewalk. “I'm sorry...?” he asked more than stated, making you look at him with a confused smile. “For being ‘strange and off putting’?” he mumbled seeing you not understanding why he was apologizing. You wrapped your hand at the ditch of his elbow with a small laugh, “That's okay. I like you even if you are.” you joked, making Choso feel a warmth flood his cheeks.

Walking across the street and stepping up the small steps of your porch. Seeing the porch light turn on, scanning his face. Noticing his flushed cheeks and blaming it on the weather. “You wanna come in? My roommates won't be home till late.” You smiled, looking at him through your eyelashes with a cheeky smile. Choso widened his eyes at your words, thinking of how forward you were being. Too forward. He nodded his head ‘no’ before speaking. “I think you're a little too tipsy right now.” He grumbled, seeing you disagree with your head. “I'm not- you're just a little blurry right now.” You smiled. Seeing him give you a feigned ‘is that so?’ raising your eyebrows in response. Mouthing a small ‘Okay, okay.’ before turning to unlock your door.

You opened the door to your house before feeling a certain itch in your brain form. “Before you go-” you turned around, the door cracked open with the door knob in your hand. “Do you...” you hesitated, suddenly feeling very embarrassed by what you were thinking. “Do you not like me or something?” You gave a forced smile. Knowing the words you had been thinking for the past few days were finally out in the open. The expression that formed on his face was something you never expected to see from him. He looked like a deer in headlights. Eyes wide and mouth struggling to find words to say to you. “I-” he started, you tilted your head with raised eyebrows waiting for him to say something. “Because I like you, Choso.” you hummed, batting your eyelashes. Hoping that your own words would motivate him to say what you wanted to hear.

The seconds you stood there felt like an eternity- maybe it was. The porch light had turned off from how long he took to answer you. Choso’s head was reeling from the words you told him. ‘As a friend? As a stranger? As something else-’ his mind was racing with questions only you could answer. He mouthed a million words, trying to say something but hesitating before he actually voiced them. “I-” he managed, seeing you part your lips and the shine in your eyes start to dim. “I lo-” he started, catching himself before stuttering. “I like you too.” He shuddered, the feeling of words falling from his lips without permission.

Obsessive!Choso who nodded his head ‘no’ almost in disbelief at what he just said. “Really?” you asked, cheeky smile on your lips, fishing for more words from him. His face showed you everything you needed to see, he looked nervous. It was almost funny, looking horrified yet elated. He only nodded his head yes, seeing you look away from his gaze. “Do you really like me too?” he asked, feeling a frog was in his throat. Heart thumping so hard in his chest he swore you could hear it. Looking up at him through your eyelashes, dim lighting making your eyes sparkle once more. Nodding with a small ‘mhm’. “Even if I'm strange and off putting?” he whispered, feeling hazy as though this was a dream. You gave him a lushy smile, cheeks starting to hurt from how much his words delighted you. “Especially if you're strange and off putting.” You giggled, making him look down at his shoes. Noticing just how close you were to him.

‘This is wrong. I shouldn't be here.’ he thought, looking back up to inspect your features. Taking advantage of how close he was. Even if he knows he’ll feel guilty for it later. ‘I don't deserve to be here with you.’ His gaze was heavy on you, feeling like he was staring into your soul. You exhaled, looking off to the side before speaking, “I've never felt so seen before I met you.” you whispered, feeling like he could see every crack, every secret and every moment of doubt in your life. Even if the plentiful amounts of liquor you had earlier were clouding your judgment. It was the truth, a truth you hadn’t admitted out loud till now. He called your name, making you look back to him with swelling eyes and a wavering smile. “-I see you,” he hummed, the horrified look on his face now gone, looking at you with warm eyes and a softened expression. Calling your name once more, “-I always have.” you furrowed your eyebrows, lip quivering and looking to him with expectant eyes.

“You sure you don't wanna come in?” you grinned, wanting to talk to him surrounded by the warmth of your bedroom. Choso softly nodded his head no, “Another time.” he grinned. Even if he had turned down your offer, you found comfort in knowing that he at least liked you. Choso straightened his posture, looking at you with a toothy grin. “Lock your doors-” he started, half laugh caught in his chest. “Lock your windows, close your curtains.” he lectured, making you smile in response. “I will. I will.” you mumbled, stepping into the doorway and looking at him as you leaned against the door frame.

Sappy smile on your lips as you watched him take a step back, “Goodnight.” he grinned. Looking at you as though this was some shitty rom com from the early 2000. If you paid any more attention, you'd see his pupils in the shape of tiny hearts, hands in his pockets as the porch creaked beneath his heavy boots. “Goodnight Choso.” You hummed, waiting till he turned around to walk away. Making note that he looked back once at you when he was at the bottom of the stairs, and once more when he was walking on the sidewalk before closing the door. You found it sweet he looked back twice at you, if only you knew he kept looking to see if you closed the door so he could stand in the spot he usually stood at to watch your house. To watch you.

Obsessive!Choso waited to make sure your roommate got home before he left you alone. To make sure they didn't bring back one of their ‘friends’ with them. Not trusting your roommate or their shitty friends. But his fears were eased when he saw they came back alone, stumbling out of a car and tripping on their own shoes, sure. But thankful they came back alone, especially since they seemed frustrated when they saw the doors were locked. Having to fumble with their unused keys just to get into the house. Thankful that you listened to him, looking up and seeing you did in fact close your curtains. Smiling to himself at how you acted on your promise. Even if you were going to do it already, Choso couldn't help but think you did it just because he told you to.

Making sure to gently lay on his bed when he got home, on the brink of falling asleep before hearing his phone ding. He wanted to ignore it, but thoughts of what if it was you flooded his mind. Picking up his phone a staring at it with squinty eyes, seeing you had sent him a photo. ‘ik its late but i wanted u to know this is what i was referring to btw’ he read, waiting for the photo to load. Seeing it was a very sad cat, ‘oh god did i look like that ?’ he typed, trying his best to sound coherent. ‘yes u did!!! thats why i told u that’ he read hearing your voice in his mind. ‘im sorry if u were sleepin’ you double texted. Making Choso roll over slowly on his bed and hug his pillow with a small blush on his cheeks. ‘i wont lie, i was about to’ he replied, seeing you start to type. ‘ok ok ill let u sleep, text me in the morning ok?’ you asked, your coherence made it clear to Choso that you probably ate something to soak up what was in your stomach. ‘ok’ he sent, typing with one eye open, ‘goodnight :)’ before shutting his phone off and snuggling into his pillow pretending it was you.

Obsessive!Choso who’s assumptions were true, you had finally eaten a sad grilled cheese and had a cup of coffee before your roommate got home. Suddenly regretting every single thing you had confessed to Choso. Worrying you made him uncomfortable or offended him by your slurred words that had no meaning behind them. Even if it was embarrassing recalling all the things you had said to him, you were glad they were said. Knowing that if you hadn't found the confidence to tell him, those words probably wouldn't have been spoken till you were frustrated with the lack of progress. But now the looming thought of ‘Did he mean he liked me in a friend way, or in another way?’ was heavy. Frustration creep back into your mind, feeling like you haven't made any progress at all.

Sunday was spent in bed for Choso, feeling a little under the weather. Watching the small red dot on his phone move anytime you needed to run an errand for your roommate. It worried you- him feeling ill. Knowing how long he spent outside just to get you home. You tried asking him if you could come over with medicine. But the mere thought of you standing in his apartment, inches away from the shrine he had in his closet. Various photos of you in small frames around his apartment. It made him shiver at the thought. Clearing his throat before assuring you. “I’m fine- I'll be fine.” holding back the itching cough that tickled his throat. He did find it endearing that you would have risked your own health for him. The anxiety just thinking about you coming to see him was 50-50 with the heart aching feeling of actually letting you see him.

There was nothing more Choso wanted than to have you at his side, be it the rising fever or his feelings. But he struggled to deny your attempts to see him, feeling a certain ache in his heart to be doted on. It pained him to say ‘no’ to you, it really did. But he couldn't risk you coming here. Almost crying by picturing you being upset at the things he had stolen from you, telling him he was your stalker the whole time. Monday came like a grade four hurricane. Choso woke up feeling like death came for him in the night, blinking his eyes open and seeing the time. Knowing one of the three classes he had with you started in an hour. If he was being honest, Choso knew he’d get sick eventually. Cold weather and an unheated apartment have never made the greatest combination. What he didn’t expect was to wake up on the day of classes and feel like a victorian child being eaten away by the plague.

Choso dreaded sending you that text. It sounded like a lame excuse, like a lie. ‘im too sick to go to class, im sorry’ he felt like he was failing you in some way that you'd never forgive. But your quick replies of ‘i knew it’ and demanding his address and apartment number made his heart warm. When he didn't reply; you called him. He picked up on the first ring, “I was just about to text you back.” he croaked, his voice raspier than usual. “I sent those texts like 10 minutes ago.” you scolded, hearing him give you a half laugh from his chest. “I fell asleep.” he played coy, smiling as he pressed the phone closer to his ear. “Don't lie!” you smiled, being able to hear him let out a small huff. “I would never lie to you.” he muttered, cozying into his blankets as he closed his eyes. His incoherent words made you smile, telling him to send his address now.

Obsessive!Choso who felt his brain pound in his mind. “No. Go to class. And pay attention.” he mumbled quietly letting his inner thoughts slip, making you sigh dramatically. “I’ll think about it.” you muttered, being able to hear his breathing steadily over the phone. Whispering his name and hearing small heaving. Thinking he probably fell asleep. You sat in your living room contemplating actually going to class. Hearing your roommates leave the house one by one. With a loud sigh you sat up, knowing there wasn't anything you could do unless he gave you an address. Sitting in your intro to humanities class. Knowing this was one of the classes you were to have with Choso, you were fiddling with a pen in frustration. Staring at the screen of your computer as you heard the professor talk on and on.

Something the professor said made you remember Choso had sent you a photo of his courses for that semester. Opening it on your dimmed phone, scanning the photo and seeing the upper corner showed the street name of where he lived. Knowing that there was only one small apartment complex; if you could even call it that, near the campus. And coincidentally it was on the same street that the photo showed. If you were being honest, this made you feel like a stalker. But you were doing it for good, you just wanted to help a friend.

Smiling to yourself before gathering your things mid class. Walking to the grocery store close to your house. Surprisingly, the weather wasn't as bad as it had been the past few days. Today it was surprisingly sunny and not as cold. Picking up any kind of medicine that looked like it would work, not caring what it cost or if it was a name brand. Coming home to an empty house and packing a few things into a duffle bag, ordering an uber to take you to a small restaurant. Picking up a small bowl of chicken soup and riding to his apartment complex. Furrowing your eyebrows when you stood in front of the two story building, knowing that Choso was bed ridden in one of the 8 studio apartments. Suddenly realizing you had just come without warning, you called him.

Hearing the phone ring, and ring, and ring before he picked up. Nasally and hoarse as he mumbled a quiet “Hello?” gaining a small smile from you before you spoke, “Which apartment is yours?” you asked with an obvious smile in your tone. You heard silence before he spoke, “What?” he asked, being able to hear the confusion in his voice. “I said-” you trailed, “Which apartment is yours? I'm outside.” you laughed, hearing silence on his end.

Obsessive!Choso who felt like his whole world would come crashing down if you even stepped into his apartment. Finding a sudden burst of energy and sprinting across his apartment and collecting everything that could look suspicious. Muttering various ‘what do you mean’ and ‘why’ trying to distract you from what he was doing. Finding a black photo box big enough to fit all the things you gave him that he had hidden in his closet. Standing in the middle of his apartment, “H-how was class?” He tried changing the conversation. Hearing you exhale dramatically, “Boring.” you mumbled. His eyes went wide when he found an old vent big enough to fit it in. Hearing you tell him to hurry up while he undid painted over screws with his hands. “No- really it's a mess-” he tried deterring you, only hearing you sigh before shouting at him playfully. “Choso, I don't care! Let me in.” Slipping the box into the vent as quietly as he could, closing the vent and standing up. Quickly scanning his apartment trying to see if he missed anything. “You take any longer and I'll go knocking on every door till you answer.” you teased, hearing him let out a low cough.

“It's on the second floor- number 4.” he exhaled, gulping down as much of the coarseness he had in his voice as he could. Standing against the door as he heard you hand up the phone, not even bothering to check what he looked like as he waited. His heart beating faster and faster as he heard footsteps outside of his door. A small knock before his hand hesitated to reach the door knob. Unlocking the lock and wrapping his hand around the brass knob, turning it slowly. Cracking the door and seeing you, hands full and already beaming. Hearing you gasp, “You look horrible.” You grinned, scanning his state. Disheveled hair, squinty eyes, and cheeks derived from any color, looking paler than normal. He let out a phlegm riddled chuckle, “And you look great.” he smiled, feeling his brain turn to mush by just looking at you.

“Let me innn.” you hummed, knowing he was speaking nonsense. Seeing him nod no while his hand was firm on the doorknob. “No-” he gave you a weak smile, “I'll get you sick.” He scoffed, looking at you through the small crack. “I don't care. Besides-” you gave him a toothy grin. “If you don't let me in your soup’ll get cold.” You hummed, seeing him close his eyes and look to the floor. Looking back up at you with soft eyes, letting go of the doorknob and pushing the door open. Taking a step inside, scanning the four walls of his so-called apartment. Placing the duffle bag on the counter of his small kitchen. “You were right-” you trailed, seeing he didn't have much decor, or really anything on his walls. “It's colder here than it is outside-” you joked, looking over to him and seeing he looked almost bashful.

Obsessive!Choso who heard you unzip the bag before he apologized, “I know- I’m sorry-” seeing you turn to him with a miniscule space heater in your hands. Letting out a small laugh at the way you displayed it between your hands. Seeing him slouched over himself, almost trying his best to stay standing upright. “Go lay down, you look like you'll keel over if you keep standing.” You smiled, unpacking the small tub of soup as he shuffled over to his bed. Sitting down gently as he watched you make yourself comfortable. Turning on the small battery operated heater and hearing him give a pained laugh. You muttered a quiet, ‘Shut up’ as you looked to his kitchen, “Bowls?” you asked, looking over to him watching you on his side.

“In the cupboard above the stove.” he grumbled, seeing you nod and reach up to open the cabinet and seeing a single bowl. “Choso, if I open up one of these drawers am I gonna see just one spoon?” your tone was already accusatory, “Definitely don't open the drawer closest to the microwave then.” he smiled, closing his eyes as he heard you open the drawer with a gasp. Smiling when he heard you stepping to him, placing the glass bowl on his nightstand. “Eat. Then I'll give you medicine.” You demanded. Seeing him open his eyes and look up at you.

You turned around and pulled out the chair that was at his desk, rolling it to face the bed. Humming quietly as you walked back to the kitchen counter. Hearing him shuffle out of bed and sit up against the wall, “I thought you couldn't cook?” he smiled, taking a small sip of the warm soup. “I can’t- if I did cook for you, you'd end up even more sick.” you mumbled, walking back to the chair and sitting on it. Placing the medicine on his side table as he ate. He looked over at you with hazy eyes, “Why didn't you go to class?” he hummed, looking over to you. “I did-” you assured him, “-but I left like 20 minutes in.” you laughed.

Obsessive!Choso who wanted to scold you, nodding his head ‘no’ in disapproval. “Why?” he mumbled, feeling his throat sting. “I kept picturin you all alone, dry heaving in your cold-” you laughed, “- apartment and I felt horrible.” You tilted your head, seeing him stare at you with the bowl in his hands. “Especially since you're always so nice to me-” you hummed, “I thought it was my turn to do something kind.” crossing your ankles and seeing his hazy eyes look at you as though this was the first nice thing anyone had done for him.

“How did you find out where I lived?” he asked, setting the bowl onto his nightstand. You widened your eyes slightly, leaning in closer to him. “I stalked you.” You whispered, seeing his smile fall and scan your face. He mouthed a small ‘What?’ before you leaned back into the chair. “No, in the uh- picture you sent me of your classes this semester-” you grinned, “it had the address in the corner.” you looked at him disapprovingly. “Ah.” he smiled, “Either way- when I feel better I'll find a way to repay you.” He promised, seeing your delicate hands pick up the bottle of cold medicine and shake them in his direction.

Seeing him pop the bottle open and take them dry. “You can pay me back by taking me out.” you whirred. Choso froze up, looking at your face to see if you were being serious or not. You raised your eyebrows when you waited for him to reply, “Well?” you asked, looking at him while blinking slowly. “I can't focus on what I want to say to you right now.” He mumbled, turning away from you and feeling goosebumps form on his arm.

“Don't think about what to say. Just tell me what you think.” You assured, wanting to know what thoughts he hid from you. “I think-” he started, wanting to avoid this conversation in its entirety. Seeing his cheeks flushed as he avoided your gaze, you scooched the rolling chair closer to him. ‘Hmm?’ you hummed, placing your hand atop his that was on the edge of his bed. All but flinching when he felt you. “What do you mean by-” he gulped, looking back at you with pinched eyebrows and shy eyes. His ears burning, mentally blaming it on your tiny heater. “...Take you out?” his eyes showing you how unsure he was asking you that. You gave Choso a small giggle, “You’re a lot less intimidating when you look at me like that.” you teased, seeing him close his eyes at how embarrassed he felt. “I meannn-” you droned on, “Like on a ‘date’ or something.” You leaned back into the chair, making this conversation sound way too casual. “You want me to take you on a date?” he asked, unsure if he heard you correctly. You nodded your head ‘yes’, seeing him think about it. Finding it very difficult to process what you were saying. “...As friends?” he asked quietly, voice hoarse and cheeks pink. You let out a laugh, seeing his expression fall. Settling down a little and looking at him with warm eyes. “You're impossible.” your tone endearing with a smile on your lips.

Obsessive!Choso whose face looked horrified. “No Choso. Not as friends.” You grinned, tightening the grip you had on his hand. The blush roamed down his neck. “I suspected so- b-but I didn't want to assume.” he stammered, reddening cheeks feeling lightheaded by hearing your words. You furrowed your eyebrows, standing from the chair and pressing your hand on his forehead. Leaning over slightly, Choso lightly inhaled, feeling your hand on his face. Pressing the back of your hand to his cheek and humming. “You're warm-” you mumbled, seeing him close his eyes. “It's the heater-” he smiled, lifting his hand and wrapping it around your wrist. Hearing you scoff at his accusation, pulling your hand from his face. Looking into your eyes and blinking up at you.

“Don't blame my heater for your blushing.” You joked, rolling your eyes before sitting down. His hand falling from your wrist as you saw him stumble over his words. “M’not blushing.” he huffed, fiddling with his thumbs. “Sure. Blame it on you being sick.” you teased, seeing him look over at you. Not even bothered by the conversation at hand, treating this as though it was some casual topic. Finally being able to gather his thoughts, ‘You're going to kill me one of these days, you know that?’ he thought to himself, seeing you look rather pleased with how flustered he was.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing on his night stand. Seeing your eyes look down to see who it was, “Who's ‘Yuuji’ with a heart emoji?” you asked, looking up at him with a perked brow. Picking up his phone and seeing it ring, “My baby brother.” he whispered, clicking the small green button and raising the phone to the ear opposite to the one facing you.

Obsessive!Choso who answered “Hello?”, hearing his brother ask him questions. “No- No i'm better now.” he smiled, looking down to his lap. Strands of his hair falling and blocking your view of his face. “Yes Yuuji, I took medicine already-” he was cut off. Feeling your fingers push the hair from his face behind his ear, pads your fingers grazing his earrings. Looking over at you with a shocked expression before stuttering. “Y-yes I ate-” feeling his blush return. “I-I’m alone-” He stammered, you furrowed your eyebrows. Leaning in closer to hear what his brother was saying, so close the air he inhaled was sweetened by your perfume.

‘You never stutter- who's with you?!’ the voice from his phone asked him, making you smile. Choso tried leaning away from you, only for you to lean on the edge of the bed trying to hear. “My friend is here-” he irked, seeing you give him an offended look. Squinting your eyes as you feigned offense, ‘Friend?’ you gasped quietly. Making Choso nod his head ‘no’ in defense as his brother scolded him for making someone else sick. Even hearing his brother ask, ‘You have friends?!’ with a laugh before he exhaled harshly. “I will call you later Yuuji.” his tone stern and authoritative as you settled back in your chair. Silence in the air as you hear- ‘Tell your lover i say hiii-’ his brother teased before Choso hung up. Your perfume still stuck in the air close to his face.

It was quiet, sure. But you heard him clearly, making note it was the second time; that you knew of, that his brother referred to you as that. He looked over at you hesitatingly, seeing a smug look on your face. “Your brothers must be my biggest fans.” You tease seeing him give a pained laugh, clutching his ribs as he leaned against the wall. “They really are-” he grumbled, seeing you from the corner of his eye. Seeing you hesitate before asking. “You really love your brothers huh.” You asked, Choso turned his head to look at you.

“There aren’t words that could come close to describing how much I love them.” He declared, noticing a hint of sadness in your eyes at his words. “That's really sweet Choso.” You replied, giving him a warm smile. “And you? Do you have any siblings?” he asked, mentally scolding himself for not having asked you that sooner. “I do-” you replied without thinking. “Did- I did.” you nodded. Furrowing his eyebrows, “Did they…pass?” he pressed, not liking the look on your face. Almost like it pained you to speak about this. “Last time I checked? No, they're very much alive. Just not family anymore.” You shrugged, seeing the confusion in his eyes.

“I don't understand.” He blurted, not seeing how that was possible. “They're only a blood relation.” You trailed on, looking down to your hands on your lap. “They were always just random people I lived with.” You slouched your shoulders, “But they're your family.” he mumbled, snapping your head to look up at him. “They've never been a family to me. Not now, and they never will be.” You declared, looking back at him with furrowed eyebrows. Tone more stern as you saw his face, full of pity and sorrow.

Obsessive!Choso who wanted to hear more, asking you- “Older or younger?” hoping to know why you hold such disdain towards them. “Both.” You mumbled, looking at his face. Feeling like he was staring right into the largest crack you had in your heart. Choso took your hand, making you look at him with pinched eyebrows and soft eyes. Running his thumb over your knuckles.

“That's why I think it's so sweet how much you care for your brothers. Mine never cared the way you do.” You grinned, seeing him look at you with a soft smile. Choso couldn't help but feel his chest swell with pride. At being a good older brother, and from receiving a compliment from you. “I'm sorry.” he apologized for nothing, you gave him a prize winning smile. Scoffing before speaking up, “It's fine. I'm fine, I'll live.” You assured. ‘I am still sorry. I'm sorry you weren't cherished the way you should’ve been.’ Choso thought, blinking down to his hand holding yours. Feeling his heart throb in his chest from how much progress he had made with you.

pt 10 here

the past few days I was writing this it felt like it was never ending omg- THANK U FOR READING. I know I took a hot second in writing this- unfortunately life kicked me in the butt. ANYWAYS. im alr writing next part- (lets pretend im not the author of this) EVERYONE CALM DOWN THINGS ARE HAPPENING HEHE

#jjk #choso kamo #choso my beloved #jjk choso #choso x reader #jjk x reader #choso x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen choso #sfw jjk #emo choso #college au #non curse au #choso #kamo choso

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bugsbenefit · 5 months

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hellfire in s5, and how it's Really not looking good for the members

the hellfire club is, in my opinion, one of the most obvious set ups for s5 and i never see enough people acknowledge how blatant the show actually is with it. because it's a directly addressed ongoing issue that slowly worsens over time and directly threatens three main characters (Dustin, Lucas, and Mike), at Least

there's a clear structured progression of the threat getting worse, with a major part of the s4 Hawkins plot being only Jason and his team chasing Eddie down, and by the last episodes of the show the rest of the town sides with them and joins the objective. however, we never get any consequence of the town agreeing with Jason, aside form the kids parents getting reaction shots looking insanely worried. the only thing even resembling partisan participation is a dogwalker (the same man that agreed with Jason first and then caused every other member in the town hall to also agree) informing Jason and co about there being someone in the Creel house. a single character ratting someone out is not pay off for a scene that rallies the entire town with anger and fear. especially because he was the First one to agree with Jason, arguably the next reaction, in parallel to the town house scene, will have everyone else also involve themselves

and everything Jason actually said in the town hall looks INFINITELY worse by the end of the season because he not only died the same day (how odd that must look), the town was also hit by a severe earthquake. (and hell-gates open in town but we don't know how people will react to that yet, or if it will even be immediately obvious to them)

like. it's a Terrible look. and with Eddie being dead now, the main target that represented the hellfire club in s4 and got the primary share of blame is now officially un-prosecutable

s4 also goes out of it's way to associate Lucas, Dustin and Mike explicitly with the hunt on Hellfire, ages before the whole town gets involved

Lucas is put on edge by the basketball's team hostility towards his friends constantly and has to actively lie his way out of the line of fire multiple times. the basketball team is also looking for Dustin to question him about Eddie's whereabouts, even going to his house where a confrontation only doesn't happen because he's not home. and they even manage to go out of their way to drag Mike into it despite him being out of town, when Jason starts a conversation with Nancy specifically to threaten her and then asks about Mike right after

which leads to the other thing; not only are all the kids already on Jason's radar, he's also getting more and more direct with the fact that he doesn't just want to have a nice chat with them (culminating in actually physically attacking Lucas by the last episode)

and if them setting all of the kid members of hellfire up for a bad time wasn't obvious enough, it's also fascinating to see the posters of hellfire we get over the season also show a clear shift in focus

when we see the hellfire club year book photo for the first time the focus is on Eddie. he's who Jason sees as the main culprit and when we get a close up of the burning poster we see Eddie

but when we see the hellfire club photo again 4 episodes later the focus isn't on Eddie anymore. not in dialogue and not visually

the shot is from the Wheeler's pov (Karen's specifically), and the only part of the picture that's in focus is the far right corner, with Mike and Lucas. (makes sense that's her son that's currently being implicated in satanic murders). Eddie never gets unblurred, he's not who the audience is supposed to look at in this shot. verbally Jason is also explicitly blaming the whole club now. it's not just Eddie who's "crazy" and killed Chrissy, it's the whole club who's responsible (it's also very notable that he's handing out yearbook photos of the whole club, not just Eddie. a really distinct prop choice. everyone in town now not only thinks hellfire is directly responsible for multiple ritualistic murders, they also know Exactly who's in the club)

and looking back at the season in hindsight, there's actually more than enough instances that would make the members of Hellfire look kind of guilty, or shady at best, even if someone were to do some research. there's multiple instances of hellfire members lying to the basketball team about hellfire member's whereabouts which definitely doesn't make them look more innocent in the team's eyes. not only do Eddie's band members try to brush them off, Nancy pretends to not even know about Hellfire when Jason asks about Mike, and Lucas goes out of his way to keep Dustin and Eddie's locations from them by deliberately lying and sending them to wrong locations

and that's on top of the entire montage of Dustin and Mike trying to find a substitute player for a single game on the same day a student with no previous affiliation to Eddie Munson dies at his trailer? that looks Horrible in hindsight. especially with them asking pretty much every other student, from almost every club, while both prominently wearing hellfire shirts. if anyone actually remembers them and thinks about the events post Chrissy's death they could definitely make some assumptions

it's just bad looks all around. and that's not even mentioning how they have the potential to look even worse in s5. if it got out Lucas was with Max when she somehow died and broke all her bones? would look horrible. or Dustin now associating with Eddie's dad? and we don't even know how he'll fulfill Eddie's wish to "look after the little sheep"

and even Mike, who didn't even have the chance to attract suspicion post e1 due to being out of town has a whole thing going on with his image paralleling Eddie, with being the other DM and having his s4 style be directly in reference to Eddie's looks

while there's building hostility towards the hellfire members, and the focus (both visually and vocally) switches more to the members Other than Eddie, by the end of the season there just hasn't been a chance for the townsfolk to respond to Jason's speech yet. they all agreed with him, but everything immediately went to shit the same night. however, even the last few minutes of the show, that always have the most direct foreshadowing for the next season, include a shot focusing on the rise of religion and the fearmongering that started with Jason's speech

which serves as a great reminder that the entire town hall just agreed with Hellfire being a satanist cult they need to stop

s4 ends with the hellfire set up being one of the most explicitly obvious plot threads that are about to be a problem for multiple main characters in s5. like the few other obvious established about-to-be struggles: the gates opening, Vecna still being alive, Max being "gone"; we've gotten a full set up there but no payoff yet

and then there's obviously the question of what the people would even DO in s5? they all agreed that Hellfire needed to be stopped, so... what now?

on one hand there's the interesting concept of the town refusing to help the protagonists but they could also be acting as a hostile force against them

say anyone tried to warn the town about the upside down or it's creatures, the chances of people listening to them talk about actual "demons" and reacting in any positive way is probably near 0. even if you saw a Demogorgon nibble on your neighbour an hour ealier, would you really listen to someone you think intentionally opened the Hellgate that let the creatures through in the first place?

but then there's of course the active antagonistic angle they could also take. Jason was calling for Hellfire to be actively opposed and stopped, not passively. and the show Does go out of it's way to show the overcrowded weapons store in multiple shots post Jason-speech

we're supposed to know these people are armed going forward. whether they're buying them to go hunting, or wanting to go shoot Eddie Munson, the weapons are there now... also ignore the 7 separate hellfire wanted posters in the opening shot of the store alone 💀(it's actually 9, i didn't circle the two that are cut off in the bottom corner. that whole board is just plastered with that one photo)

(the implication of what the guns are for couldn't be more obvious if they tried. again, also the scene where Jason tries to intimidate Nancy and directly asks about where Mike is. also the scene where Erica and co try to hide from the basketball team members in the store. the scene features, guns, hellfire posters everywhere, and characters specifically asking about the whereabouts of a member while other people are actively hiding)

and the weapons could play out in a positive way in s5 too, say the lady from next door gets hands on involved and takes shots at the Demobats in her front yard

but the reactionary, scared, and angry town that blames a specific small group of people for everything that's happening could also lead to MCs having to actively worry about getting shot by someone they've seen at the supermarket for 10+ years on top of the supernatural threat

TLDR: re Hellfire, none of these members will have a good time in s5

Edit (because i forgot to include these images and am silly)

Hellfire even makes it on the local news by the end of the season

and in line with the focus shifting from Eddie to the other hellfire members, the news anchor then goes to say that Eddie Munson is presumed dead after the earthquake but that that isn't enough for the town. the news even mentions the conspiracy theory that the hellfire murders CAUSED the earthquake. so anyone who hasn't heard Jason's speech, now they're getting it from a "reputable" source too. call that high quality journalism, let's throw the local highschoolers under the bus

we're supposed to remember the fear of the "satanic cult killing children" that Jason spread to the town. it's still there. and it's not just in the local town hall anymore, its being broadcast on live television. so just in case you didn't catch wind of who caused a "gate to hell" to open in your suburban neighbourhood the first time, the news anchor thankfully tells you who everybody Says is responsible, it's the 14-18 year old satanist serial killers duh

#the hellfire set up for s5 being so obvious gets me okay #i'm excited about it #watching s4 you can really just see how it progressively looks worse for the members #i'm just curious which route they'll actually go with it #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #st s5 #st s5 speculation #stranger things

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welcometothejianghu · 4 months

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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 少年歌行/The Blood of Youth

The Blood of Youth is a 2022 live-action adaptation of the tale of a deposed, disabled, and incredibly cunty prince who's on his way back to settle the score with his asshole father, and the rag-tag band of weirdos he accumulates along the way, including Spear Girl, Bad Monk, and Fire Puppy (pictured above).

I hope you like shounen anime, because this is the most shounen anime something is allowed to be without actually being based on something running weekly in Shounen Jump. What if Nirvana in Fire were also Naruto? It would be the Blood of Youth.

This show is an underrated gem of action-packed fun that not nearly enough people in English-speaking fandom have seen. In an attempt to correct that -- and ahead of an announced second season and prequel in progress -- I'm here with five reasons you should try it out.

1. Zero thoughts head empty

You do not have to pay an enormous amount of attention to this show to understand what's going on. The show itself does not always know what's going on. It got distracted by a shiny object over there, and now we're all gearing up to go punch the shiny object. We'll get back to the main plot when we're done with the punching.

It has a million billion plot threads going on at any given moment. Bad guys roll in from sects you've never heard of before, using superpowers with stupid names, only to get kicked into next week. There's approximately eleventy thousand characters -- so many, in fact, that I ran into problems several times while making this rec post, because there aren't readily available photos of everyone I want to talk about. Just look at the DramaWiki cast list. See how it goes on for like fifty screens? That's a little what the show feels like.

Except I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing, because the show knows it's doing this, and it acts accordingly. It telegraphs pretty well who's important and who isn't (and then it goes out of its way to color-code the latter, which is handy). What you're left with is absolutely a manga-style plot, complete with training arcs and semi-relevant sidequests, all working up to the final boss match.

It is an extremely self-aware show. On multiple occasions, something would happen, I would crack a joke about it, and then a beat later the show itself would make the exact same joke. I wouldn't call it an outright comedy, but it's still very funny, and on purpose. It has no illusions about being some kind of profound, meaningful epic. Mostly it's just here for a good time.

Yet this lightheartedness is what makes the powerful emotional parts really powerful by contrast. The show is not stupid; it's just goofing around most of the time. When it knuckles down, it can be devastating. And you know what? It does wind up being profound and meaningful about some stuff. How about that.

So yeah, if you're up for something that bops merrily right along and only occasionally rips your heart out, here you go!

2. Putting the poly in polycule

Bisexuals, rejoice! It's representin' time!

Here you go, I made a relationship chart of about 40% of the show's potential and canonical ships. I could have included so many more, but I only had so much space on the image, so I had to leave out some amazing ones, like the sword hedgehog who's real into this one cougar who could easily wipe the floor with him, or the rich nerd who thinks he has a chance with the aforementioned hot butch, or the fancy MILF who cheated on the emperor with a dreamy jianghu man and is trying not to cheat on him again with a different, slightly less dreamy jianghu man. See? There's just so much.

I would also say these are not exclusive ships. They are extremely inclusive ships. I am a fan of most (though admittedly not all) of the pairings listed here, and in fact of many of the three-and-more-somes indicated by these lines. They're such a cuddle puddle of shared intense feelings that it's hard to imagine anyone getting more than mildly jealous. Moreover, the potential for romance does not get in the way of hetero friendships; a boy and a girl who are each dating other people can go do adventures together, and (mostly) nobody gets weird about it, which is nice. If anything, what makes the overall dynamic so polycule-like is how equally friends and love interests get treated, meaning that it's not difficult to see a lot of crossover potential between those two categories.

If you're like me, you're hesitant about canonical romance, especially when it's straight, mostly because so many straight love stories wind up being tiresome, gross, and/or skull-poundingly boring. You will then be pleasantly surprised by how the canon pairings with members of the main cast are not like this at all!

Xiao Se and Sikong Qianluo are the main textual romance, and golly gee, they're just cute as heck. As the chart above indicates, I like interpreting them as two Kinsey 6's who have found their single exceptions, Mulder-and-Scully-style. Maybe one of the best things about their relationship is that it gets sidelined all the time for the plot. They're not so busy being in love that they forget to get shit done. Then they get a bit of downtime and get to go on a date, and you're like, aww, those sweet gay disaster babies are gonna do a little bit of heterosexuality. Just precious.

Tang Lian and Fairy Rui are right up there with the cuteness. She's a sex-positive dancing beauty who wants to ride that pretty boy like she stole him, and he's a shy sword boy so tightly bottled up that he'll explode if he sees a bare ankle. Avoiding spoilers, I will simply say that this is a pairing of two relatively soft people, until a bad thing happens to one of them and the other hardens up about it. If that's your jam, they're here for you.

Lei Wujie and Ye Ruoye are probably the most magical and the most practical of the bunch. They have a beautiful, super-dreamy, really horny sword-dance meet-cute, complete with its own pop song ... and then that's it, they're basically just together. She likes him, he likes her, good for them. In-laws aside, it's a refreshingly low-drama situation. Besides, I always love it when the hypercompetent woman gets the sweet, devoted himbo who'd do anything for her. Ruoye's had a hard life, and she deserves someone who can dick her down good at night and make her a nourishing breakfast the next morning.

And then there is, of course, The Ship:

Xiao Se and Wuxin are canonical, textual soulmates. The show treats their dynamic as more important than any other. It's so important, in fact, that the show has to sideline Wuxin for huge parts of the drama, lest everything get too damn gay. They each get a boyfriend catch on the other. They both do fairly reckless things when the other is in trouble. They are the secret hidden happy ending to the series. They share the kind of ride-or-die relationship built on mutually being the hugest bitches in any given room. Whether or not you think this is romance, it is extremely romantic, and the series agrees as much as it can, all things considered.

And if none of those flavors of love float your boat? Well, have you considered ... eunuchs?

3. She likes e4e

So I'm on record as being real into eunuch characters, right? Well, if you're with me on that, you are in for a treat here, because these are some absolutely buck-wild eunuchs.

There's five main ones, and I can't even begin to scratch the surface of what's going there. Like, really, I don't even think I understood all of what was happening with them. They're kind of the bad guys, but then they're kind of the good guys, but then some of them are the bad guys, but then they're just working for the bad guys, but then they screw over the bad guys, and ... it's just a lot, okay? It's a lot, and it's all happening with this bunch of catty bitches.

Also, you would not believe the difficult time I had finding any images for this section. I guess for some reason, fandom isn't way into a bunch of canonically dickless color-coordinated middle-aged men in weird hats? Whatever, man, they are missing out. If, however, you have the good sense to be into the intense and complicated (semi-romantic??) relationships among colleagues who also professionally just happen to be missing their external genitalia, buddy, strap in (and maybe strap on, depending).

Don't let me oversell how much these guys are in the show. They're not. They're vaguely important at points throughout, and they become incredibly important near the end, but they're hardly main characters. They're mostly back at the palace, doing their various schemes and looking absolutely fantastic.

So if they're such a minor part of the story, why do they get their own selling point? Well, I think their presence is a good example of two specific things about the show:

Specific thing the first: It's so queer -- not gay, but queer. Thinking back to my last selling point, you will notice how many of those straight pairings may look normie on the outside, but once you get down to it are not playing by cishet rules. (For instance, I've seen a lot of people read Tang Lian's resistance to sexual advances as asexuality, which, sure!) Likewise, there are lots of incredibly important, intimate relationships that don't conform to standard romantic pair dynamics. Add to that a lot of bodies with unusual characteristics and conditions, and you've got the makings of plenty of delightful non-normative love stories.

Specific thing the second: There are so many things going on with so many side characters that there's a kink here for everyone. Don't care for eunuchs? How about slinky villains with mind-control powers? Devoted servants who would do anything for their masters? Former bad guys who owe life-debts to the good guys who saved them? Bonded pairs traipsing around the jianghu together? Sons nursing legitimate grudges against the men who killed their fathers? Alcoholic widowers with incredibly slutty necklines? Mysterious cross-dressers with unconvincing moustaches? Vengeful brides? Martial siblings? Murderous royals? Guilt-ridden half-siblings? Boring star-crossed lovers? All these and more! It's a smorgasbord of rarepair fuel!

Also, I just love these toxic drama queens. It's like if RuPaul's Drag Race had the authority to have you executed.

4. The most intriguing outfits I've ever seen in anything (and yes, I'm including Winter Begonia)

Time for a fashion show!

The asymmetrical fits, the detailed embroidery on everything, the brilliant colors -- everybody just looks so good. And yet everything still looks ... eh, I don't know if "practical" is the word I want, but at least wearable. Nobody's dragging ten-foot trains of fabric behind them or wrapped in eighty floofy layers of gauze (except Rui, but she's special). Their outfits are strange and elaborate, but they don't defy physics.

What's truly stunning is how often they get new outfits. Xiao Se alone changes clothes about once every other episode, and more if he's getting a flashback. He is the fashion plate of the whole series, and every look he serves is pitch-perfect.

They're not outright color-coded, but the main characters do have certain colors associated with them -- which is extra-fun when you watch those colors bleeding into their friends' clothes as their relationships get stronger. I also think -- and I'm willing to be proven wrong on this point, but I think I'm right -- that they recycle some characters' outfits into parts of other characters' outfits. On more than one occasion, I'd swear that Lei Wujie shows up wearing the left half of something Xiao Se was wearing a few episodes back (tailored to fit him, of course, because that dumb ponytail boy is tall).

Where I think the costume design gets massive points, though, is that the costumes are themselves adaptations.

Before the live-action series, there was a 2018 3D animated donghua. I have never watched the latter, but apparently the drama is intensely faithful to the animated visuals, to the point where some fights are shot-for-shot remakes.

Of course, you can do a lot more with unreal clothing and bodies in animation -- and you can show a lot more skin, at least according to Chinese content laws. The live-action costumers chose to preserve about as many of the appearance beats from the donghua as they could manage, while still accepting the limitations of real-life bodies and materials. You can see some side-by-side comparisons here. The live-action outfits manage to be instantly recognizable without being slavishly devoted recreating to their inspirations.

So if you're sick and tired of dreary, ill-lit shows with bland palettes, this vibrant, colorful drama may be just the thing for you. It's a rainbow from start to finish.

5. Actually a good central plot?

Despite all the wacky delightful shounen nonsense that this show has -- and it has a lot -- the core of the whole narrative, which is Xiao Se's story, is surprisingly great and cohesive.

The short version is this: Xiao Se used to be Xiao Chuhe, sixth prince and somewhat heir apparent. Then he and his jerk-ass dad had a falling-out that resulted in the prince's having his martial arts abilities all but taken from him. He's been living the life of a very well-dressed innkeeper for several years, trying to avoid all of that palace garbage. But now his jerk-ass dad is dying, which means that a lot of horrible decisions are finally having unfortunate consequences for everyone, and Xiao Se's got to get back in there to make sure everything does not go to shit and land someone terrible on the throne -- even if it has to mean taking it himself.

His central conflict is between what he used to be and what he's become. Does he miss being Xiao Chuhe, high-ranked martial artist and future emperor? Or is he happier being Xiao Se, long-suffering nobody who can barely run a business, much less hold his own in a fight? What would he be willing to do to get back what he's lost? What are his obligations to himself versus his obligations to everyone else? How much is he responsible for his father's bullshit? And why has he wound up having to babysit this stupid Fire Puppy?

It's okay, they're best friends now. Lei Wujie decided.

No spoilers, but I liked Xiao Se's ending a lot. I feel it's very true to the character and shows a real understanding of who he is and what he values. And really, at the end of the day, sometimes all you need for a happy ending is your girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend's boyfriend who's also your boyfriend, your other boyfriend, his girlfriend, and your long-distance for-real soulmate.

Feel like giving the youths a try?

You can find them on YouTube or on Viki. But be absolutely sure that no matter where you watch it, you make sure to go watch the epilogue as well. (And if you get real into the story, well, here's a link to information about all the other adaptations.)

You are also welcome for how I did not spend this post going off for five hundred years on how much I love Wuxin and his funky relationship to Buddhism. I figured that's way too niche of a selling point for most people, and might indeed have even been counterproductive. But know that I could have.

Also, I'm very happy about the announcement of a second season, because that's going to mean Liu Xueyi has to shave his head again, and he looks unbearably good with a shaved head.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention the whole motorcycle photoshoot?

In case you hadn't noticed, the whole cast is stupidly hot. Hachi machi.

#the blood of youth #少年歌行 #bloody youths #i made this #rec post #the party is a polycule #LeiDHD

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germiyahu · 2 months

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If someone derails your conversation about Israel to be about Israel's treatment of this or that group, Mizrachim, Beta Israel, etc. you may just want to consider their motivations, and do a little digging into the kinds of subjects they normally talk about on their own blogs.

If someone who has staunchly antizionist views, like I'm talking thinly veiled genocidal fantasies about destroying Israel and reveling in the chaos that would bring, and having no concern for the future of 7 millions Jews, their concerns about Medinat Yisrael's treatment of minority groups are not valid.

This is Concern Trolling.

If someone is derailing you to accuse Israel, through accusing you, of sterilizing Ethiopian women, stealing Mizrachi babies and having them raised by "white" parents, trying to destroy Yiddish, all these alleged violent assimilationist policies that Israel employs against fellow Jews?

A non Jew barging into your space and bringing up intra-community issues and grievances is a red flag. Do not fall for the sealioning trap. Do not turn out your pockets. Do not fall for the concern trolling.

Because what is their solution to these problems? To eliminate Israel as a state? And what about these minority groups within Israeli society then? Their answer is the same as their answer for the Ashkenazim: who cares? They largely imagine all Israeli Jews can simply move to the United States or France or something. The fact that over 95% of Israelis cannot just go to the countries of their parents or grandparents is of no concern to them.

That's why it's concern trolling. They're trolling you by pretending to be concerned, and baiting you into discussing an intra-community issue because they think that'll be the argument that finally gets you to disavow Israel. Because now you'll have no choice but to agree Israel is irredeemably problematic, because now it affects other Jews. So they are exhibiting a kind of bitterly envious brand of antisemitism. They think that all Jews believe in Jewish supremacy. They're quite mad about it. This is an aspect of the Chosen People canard.

But the main reason concern trolling is bad is because they don't care about these groups they bring up. They're not defending them, they're not championing their rights. They're trying to distract you and make you look like a hypocrite. When they cheer for Hamas raping and pillaging and spraying bullets into Israelis, they don't care if it happens to Beta Israel women who've supposedly been mass sterilized against their will. They cheer all the same. So much for their legitimate concerns that Israel is antisemitic in of itself I guess?

If the solution to a problem faced by a minority group within a country is "destroy their country which they also believe has saved them from ethnic cleansing and mass death, and figure out the rest later," you're not an ally to that group; stop pretending you are!

This is tied into pinkwashing, but from a sort of opposite approach. If any societal progress that Israel makes for minority groups is a psyop and a marketing ploy to cover up Palestinian Genocide, the concern trolling is antizionists holding Israel hostage to any societal progress it has not made. But they never intend on letting Israel improve these relationships. Israel is too nice to gay Jews, and not nice enough to African Jews. The only course of action therefore, is to let Hamas butcher them alongside straight Jews and "European" Jews.

So if you see someone trying to engage in this game, ignore them! Your time is worth so much more, and the vulnerable minority groups of Jews (both in Israel and the Diaspora) are much safer with Jews who discriminate against them than goyim who tout social justice rhetoric but want to see them dead. Plus, so many Jews are already doing the work, learning and listening, and trying to improve. This enrages the concern trolls like nothing else.

Call out Israel's bigotries, but you know, maybe don't trust the people who aren't affected by those bigotries invading your space and demanding your allyship to groups of people they'd be content seeing die en masse. Like "Israel is actually antisemitic against this vulnerable group of Jews!" and "All Israelis are settlers, none are truly civilians, and any form of violence against settlers is justified" are two stances that do not mesh very well...

Because at the very least, they're separating good Jews from bad Jews again, just based on what they perceive intra-Jewish oppression to be like. And they expect these good Jews to cheer and happily live as dhimmis in the absolute chaos that is a 100% inevitable Hamas-Fatah civil war and total societal collapse... and spit on the graves of their kinsmen.

And at worst, the concern trolls won't bother distinguishing these vulnerable Jews from their alleged oppressors anyway, and happily watch as they all flee with the clothes on their backs or get gunned down or enslaved by Hamas "Resistance" Fighters.

#like an oppressed person will always prefer a familiar master to a foreign liberator #I'm always so surprised how non intuitive this is for so many people #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #intra community issues #intra Jewish issues #ironic that I'm commenting on them at my early stage lol #israel #concern trolling #pinkwashing

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gurugirl · 2 years

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Tales From the Modern Incubus Part V*

Summary: Harry gets some news about you from the watchers but it doesn't deter him. You are caught with a conundrum and have a decision to make about your relationship with Miguel.

A/N: This is dark!harry content and Harry's a demon so beware before reading on - check out all warnings in the TFMI masterlist. This is a longer update, at 8k words which means there's a lot of info to take in so pay close attention. Character List for reference

Warning: Smut, unprotected sex, dry humping, cheating (technically), mentions of spells & incantations

Part IV

Part V*

It didn’t take the watchers long to find their first bit of interesting information about you. When Harry received the call from Aim, he was in the middle of getting caught up on a few things that he’d neglected the past few days since he found you. He really wanted to stay and watch you eat your toast while you looked at your phone watching dumb videos but duties called.

Aim told Harry to wait for Tamie, the watcher who had found the important information. She would be arriving to his home in approximately thirty minutes with documents and information for Harry.

“I’ve looked over everything she’s found, and it does nothing to comfort me about the mistress you’ve selected. They are still gathering information about her but I’d caution you to keep your distance, at least a little until we know more. I’m not telling any of the apostles of the findings until necessary, but they will request information.” Aim advised.

Harry shook his head to himself, “Understood. I’ll wait for here for Tamie.” He wouldn’t be keeping his distance, that would hinder his progress with you.

Aim knew Harry wouldn’t listen, but he had to at least offer him some advice, “I know you’ll do what you want anyway, Harry. But what kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t give you a warning? I’m rarely wrong when I make these calls. But, we’ve been given free will, and you certainly can proceed how you choose but it’s wise to heed good advice. Bad choices have bad consequences.”

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. Of course he knew his friend was right and he hadn’t even told Aim of what had happened when you were startled because you could smell him in your room when you couldn’t even see him. Harry could make this so much easier on himself by selecting a different mistress. But Harry was never one to take the easy way out. He adored a challenge and you were already coming around to him. In fact, he’d gotten a text from you not long before Aim called. Even if you were supernatural, he could still complete his task with you. It wasn’t unheard of. Not conventional, but not prohibited either.

“I know. I appreciate your advice and I’ll keep it in mind,” Harry spoke before both men said their goodbyes.

Just as Aim said, Tamie showed up with a folder in hand thirty minutes later.

“Come in, please.” Harry let the watcher into his home and noted how she looked around and at everything in his space. Harry had eclectic taste. If not expensive. It might have been a bit over the top but Harry embraced his preferences and the things he liked. People, demons, and angels who’d visited him usually made a few comments about his decorations. He almost expected it every time. He enjoyed the attention.

But Tamie didn’t say anything about the space around her or the decorations and furnishings he’d selected. She was clearly in business mode. Handing him the file she spoke, “Take a look at what I have here for you.” She leans in and opens the folder, pointing to the first document, “This is a birth certificate for Y/N, but it's been altered. To someone who doesn’t know what to look for this looks fine. In fact, most state and federal entities wouldn’t blink an eye or question the authenticity, which is why she exists as a citizen today. But I have come across this a few times and the pattern appears the same so I knew just what to look for and my hunch was correct. Can we sit?”

“Sure. Would you like anything to drink?” Harry said as he kept his eyes on the document, searching for what could be off about this as he led Tamie to his dining table where they could lay the documents out.

“No. That’s okay. Thank you.”

Tamie immediately took over, showing Harry her findings about you, “This is a fake. I could go into detail and explain why I know this, but you'll just have to take my word for it, because the rest of the evidence speaks for itself. This next document, here, is a sort of contract for an adoption. This wasn’t a regular adoption. There is no certificate of adoption, there is no original birth certificate either. Y/N was adopted illegally by her current parents. Y/N’s father, Enzo and her mother Gwyn deliberately looked into false adoption options and there are three other records, which I’ve made copies of… here…” she slid out a sheet of paper with three images, which looked to be receipts of some kind, “… these are like down payment receipts, and to set up the initial meetings for the adoption. Everything was done in cash so there’s no way to actually trace this back to Enzo and Gwyn, but we have this…” Tamie’s red nails pluck out another sheet of paper and puts it on top, pointing to the copied travel document, “… travel records for the both of them, going to the same city that these three receipts are from,” she points back to the paper with the images copied on it, “… the timeline matches up. The pair stayed at a small motel very close to the location and we see that they returned home after the initial meeting and deposit made.”

Tamie puts away some of the papers, stacking them up to move them aside as she brings out another travel document and more receipts. She outlines how the second receipt matched up with the location and the timeline as does the third. Then after the third is when they would have brough you home with them. More receipts of them making purchases for things a baby would need, this time with a credit card, so it was easy to find.

“This is something I’ve come across before when on surveillance. Every time I find something like this and we are suspicious about a particular person, it turns out they are part of the unfound, the ones who don’t know they are supernatural. It usually turns out that a fallen angel or the like, mated with a human and then the heir was abandoned or something similar. It’s typically a supernatural male who impregnates a human female and leaves her behind to have the child and so adoption can tend to be a possibility in these circumstances. But sometimes, things aren’t done legally and then the heir can get lost in the shuffle. It’s hard to keep track of them all and so they can be easy to lose, especially when there’s no official record and the pregnancy wasn’t documented.”

Harry nodded contemplatively, “So did you find that she’s actually supernatural, or?”

Tamie shakes her head and frowns, “Not yet. But, Harry, we are very sure she is. We’ll find out soon enough, but we did have an issue trying to extract a small bit of blood from her so we could take a DNA test.”

“You… what? When did you attempt to do this?” Harry had been with you for most of the last few days. He’d only been away with Aim and right now of course.

“A few hours ago. I went to her home and found her in her bedroom but she got spooked. I was invisible to her but it’s as if my presence had her on edge suddenly. I attempted to touch her with just my finger, as a test, to make sure the touch binding spell was working, but she felt me.” Tamie shook her head and kept her eyes on Harry.

“Why didn’t you just try to go in at night while she was sleeping?” Harry gave Tamie a look of confusion.

Tamie shook her head again and looked down at the paper and then back up to Harry, “It shouldn’t have mattered, Harry. You know that. If she were a normal girl, I would have already had that blood and it would be out for testing as we speak. But, now that we know the extent of her perception and her resistance to certain bindings and spells, I will try an attempt to do this again tonight when she’s in bed.” She lifts her brows as if to ask if he has any more doubts.

Harry had planned on going to see you after he was done with this meeting. He didn’t want anyone to know how fixated he’d become with you and so he suggested something else, “Let me do it. She’s become familiar with me, even trusts me. It will be easier for me to do it.”

Tamie smiled and chuckled, “I knew you would say that. I’d much prefer you to do it anyway. And just so you know, I’ll be watching. I already know far more than you think but I have no plans to share that information because that’s not what I been tasked for, unless you somehow interfere with the investigation then I’ll have to let Aim know about your little fascination with Y/N.”

Harry closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He’s such a dumbass sometimes. Of course the watchers know. Luckily it’s not terribly important that Harry is infatuated with you… yet, “Thank you, Tamie.”

Tamie stacks the paper up again and places it in the file. She tucks it under her arm as she stands up from her chair, “I’ll meet you here in the morning at 9 am to get the sample. Oh!” She stops when she’s near the front door and turns to look to Harry, “We haven’t found anything unusual with Enzo and Gwyn at this point. It looks like they went through illegal adoption channels because they couldn’t financially afford traditional, legal adoption. They seem to not be a big factor in this whole thing, but we’re still looking into it because we never know.”

Harry nodded and walked Tamie to the door, and they bid their farewells. Harry sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. You were on his mind constantly since he’d met you. He had a few more days, give or take, left before he’d need to have intercourse and he doubted that you’d come around by then. That was too fast and as far as he’d gotten with you, he knew you wouldn’t be ready by then. He’d have to go out and find someone to fuck soon. Perhaps Tamie because she would be quite convenient.

In the meantime, he just wanted to be around you again so he took himself to your location and found that you were at someone’s house, Miguel’s house, in his bedroom.

Harry stayed back as far as he could, in hopes that you wouldn’t pick up on his scent but he watched as you and Miguel sat on his bed and chatted. Harry didn’t like how close you were sat to him and how you were holding his hand.

“Are you sure you can’t come? This sucks, Miguel. It’ll be five days at the Falls. It’s so pretty there too.”

“I have to work, Y/N. I couldn’t take off. I know it’ll be fun, I wish I could go too. But you can call me and we can talk every night and you can tell me all about it. How does that sound?” Miguel lowers his head to you to get your eyes on him.

You smile and then let go of Miguel’s hand and lean back with your palms flat behind you, “Amanda and Sarah will be there, so it won’t be bad. Would just be nice if all of us could go together.”

Miguel puts a hand on your knee and squeezes. You are immediately thinking about Harry and how he was a little touchy-feely with you. In fact, you feel like you can smell him a little and you sit up.

“Did you get a new cologne?” You ask Miguel.

Miguel shakes his head, “No. Not wearing cologne right now anyway. Just deodorant.”

You shake your head casually and look around the room. Your head stops and your eyes are directed right toward where Harry is in the room. It’s like you know he’s right in that spot. Harry is sure there’s something about you that’s supernatural. It can’t be denied anymore.

He watches you as you cock your head and squint your eyes, still staring in Harry’s direction, and then you smile and shake your head. Your thoughts are taking you to places they shouldn’t go. Harry’s been on your mind too much and you were worried about it.

You suddenly had the urge to text Harry and invite him to the five day conference at the Holy Falls Forest. Every year, in the summer, your dad and other pastors and leaders host a conference at the tabernacle at Holy Falls. It’s like summer camp for church goers. Morning meetings and prayers, a free afternoon with lunch, then a later afternoon meeting with worship and then evenings free to swim and hike and do whatever you felt like. You loved the grounds at Holy Falls. It’s beautiful and endless. It truly feels like a getaway and you always feel refreshed after attending.

“Miguel?” You suddenly say looking at your boyfriend.

“Yes?” Miguel grins at you and turns his body so he’s facing you.

“Do you want to try kissing? I kind of want to know what it feels like.” You truly were interested in how it would feel – in real life. You would never admit to Miguel that you kissed Harry, the man he thinks of as a stranger and who you’ve been texting the last couple of days, even if it was just in a dream.

“Yes. Now?” Miguel sits up in excitement. He’s been ready. He’s been dying to kiss you.

You nod and bite your lip, “Yeah. Now. Just like a little.”

Miguel scoots his body right next to yours and takes the back of your head into his hand and leans in, “Okay… I’m gonna kiss you…” he closes his eyes and puts his lips onto yours.

Harry rolls his eyes at the ridiculous scene before him. He can practically feel Miguel’s excitement from his spot in the room and he watches as you keep your eyes open and then look up to the ceiling and move your lips slowly.

Miguel moans and you furrow your brow and then push him back and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and laugh, “Okay… enough for now.” You look at Miguel and he’s clearly disappointed that that was all he got.

“Oh… okay. Well, whenever you want to try again, I’m ready.” He laughs and keeps his eyes on you, hoping you’ll want more but you really don’t. You didn’t exactly enjoy what Miguel just did. His lips were too hard and he was too eager. It didn’t feel like it felt in your dream with Harry. But you tried to shake that thought from your mind because that was just a dream.

You stand from Miguel’s bed and turn to him, “I’m gonna go home. Dinner will be ready soon. I’ll see you Sunday?”

Miguel frowns, “Oh… yeah. I mean, you don’t want to hang out on Friday?”

Your eyes widen and you just remembered that you were going to hang out with Miguel on Friday but you’d tentatively also made plans with Harry to go to see your sister’s boyfriend’s band. You’d forgotten about Miguel when you told Harry about that and he seemed interested.

“Uh, maybe… I forgot I was supposed to do something with my sister on Friday, but I’ll let you know if that changes. Maybe I can see you Saturday after you get off work?” You feel bad but not bad enough to cancel plans with the tattooed man. You kind of liked that you had a secret and that it involved Harry. And Harry was pleased.

In your bedroom after dinner you turned on the radio and walked around your room. You went to your closet and began talking to yourself, mumbling things Harry almost couldn’t hear. You pulled out clothes and laid them on your bed and tilted your head looking at your options.

You wanted to figure out what to wear to see Harry on Friday. And then you were reminded that you were going to invite Harry to Holy Falls.

You picked your cellphone up from your nightstand and texted Harry.

To Harry: Next Wednesday through Sunday there’s a big conference at this place called Holy Falls. It’s a beautiful place with a lake, hiking trails, waterfalls, and lots of nature. It’s super fun too!

To Harry: There are cabins to stay in and I think it’s like $100 for the five days and that includes food and lodging and all the activities. Do you want to join? I think it would be fun if you came.

You hit send and then turned back to your outfits. Wanting to look cute on Friday for Harry.

Taking your jeans and t-shirt off, Harry looked at the text you sent him and smiled. Of course he’d go, but he was distracted as he watched you take off your clothes and sample a few things in front of your mirror.

He wanted to get in close to you and put his lips on your neck. He wanted to land his palm over your ass as well. The little panties you were wearing barely covered your full bottom. He so badly wanted you. He would need to find a body to fuck soon. He hadn’t gone so long without having sex in quite a while and he knew you wouldn’t give in to him so soon.

You heard your phone chime and you quickly picked it up to read the text from Harry.

From Harry: Sounds fun. How do I sign up? Still on for this Friday?

You smiled and hummed with a big grin on your face.

To Harry: Yes, still on for Friday. I can meet you at the Union House where he’s playing - and if you come to church on Sunday I can get you a form to fill out so you can sign up and pay.

Harry smiled to himself. He watched as you continued trying on your clothes and talking to yourself.

“This one? Hmmm…” you turned to check out your bottom in the mirror. “Like that?” You brushed your hand over your bottom and smiled at yourself in the mirror. The scent of Harry lingered in your room still. You weren’t sure why it smelled of him so much but you also liked it. It made you feel quite excited. You couldn’t wait to see the handsome man again. You imagined yourself seeing him and what you’d say to one another. You wondered if he’d flirt with you. You wondered if your sister would like Harry or if she’d judge him. She could rude sometimes.

Your sister, Marianna, was quite protective of you. She was ten years older than you. Your mom had Marianna young, your dad was not her father. It was a little bit of a scandal some years ago when the congregation found out the truth, but your mom had been in love with a man before your father and she had Marianna but the man left them. Then your mom met your dad and the rest is history. They had you a little later in life, your mom was in her thirties.

After selecting your outfit for Friday night, you took off your bra and slid your t-shirt back over yourself and climbed into bed. You had another text from Harry you hadn’t seen.

From Harry: I’ll be at church on Sunday, then. Kind of didn’t want to wait to see you until Friday. What are you doing right now?

You felt your heart rate increase. It was past 11pm, and your parents were asleep. You could potentially sneak Harry in if he was quiet. You felt your heart flutter and your nerves peak with anticipation. Biting your lip you responded to him.

To Harry: Okay. Do you want to come to my house? My parents are asleep so you have to be quiet. I don’t think I want to leave tonight and drive anywhere.

Harry internally patted himself on the back. You were already inviting him into your house. Behind Miguel’s back. He could already tell Miguel was on his way out.

From Harry: What’s your address? I can come over now.

You squealed and fell back into your pillows with bright pink cheeks and the largest smile your face could allow.

To Harry: //location pin drop link//

To Harry: That’s where I live.

Harry watched your reaction and he was feeling quite giddy as well. He hadn’t felt excited about anyone in many long decades.

From Harry: Ten minutes away. I’ll text you when I arrive

You rushed off your bed and Harry watched you dash around your room to pick up, mostly just tossing your clothes into your closet. You slid on a pair of shorts and then put a bra on and the t-shirt you were wearing back over it.

Smoothing your hair out in your mirror, you smiled and checked out your teeth and then put your lip balm on. You did a dance-walk across your room and jumped a little at the end, only to turn and do the little walk again – your knees nearly hitting your chest as you tried to expend some of your anxious energy. Hopping around a little with a large smile on your face, you made your way to your window to look out and watch for Harry. You were curious about the kind of car he had.

Approximately ten minutes later a black SUV pulled up across the street from your house and then the car was turned off. No movement right away but you assumed this was Harry. Just then a chime from the text sounded and you pulled it up.

From Harry: here, out front

You squeaked and tossed your phone on your bed and quietly tiptoed through your house to open the front door for Harry. He was walking up to the house just as he saw you opening the door. You held a finger up to your lips as he entered and you closed the door behind him.

You gestured for Harry to follow you to your bedroom. You’d never really done anything like this before, sneaking someone into your house. But Harry was worth it. You really liked him and you wanted his attention on you. Something about him made you feel like you wanted to see him so badly that you’d risk getting into trouble. It had occurred to you, for a just split a second, that you would never do this for Miguel.

Harry was working on keeping his cool as well. His natural inclination was to just take what he wanted, because he wanted it. Desperately. But there was something about the chase for him, the challenge, that made you seem even more delectable.

In your room, with your door closed and the deadbolt in place, just in case, you watched as Harry took in your bedroom. Your room wasn’t much. A basic bedroom. You had a single poster up of the Rolling Stones (which your dad abhorred but your mother approved and her opinion always won out over your dad's) and a framed painting your mom bought you at an art fair a few years ago. You had a few little fun things around the room, but for the most part your room consisted of a bed, a dresser, a closet, a stand with books, radio, nick knacks, two bedside tables, a stand-up mirror, and a window with yellow curtains.

But Harry knew your room well at this point. He turned to you and grinned, “So, why’d you invite me over here. What does your boyfriend think about that?” Harry knew you hadn’t told Miguel. Of course you wouldn’t.

“Oh… well, he doesn’t know. And… I wanted you to come over because I can’t really go anywhere and you wanted to hang out, so…”

Harry tsk’d at you, “Liar. Are you telling me you snuck me into your parent’s house at night, into your bedroom, and locked the door behind us so no one could accidently barge in because I asked you what you were doing?”

You felt embarrassed. Harry was good at making you feel uncomfortable but strangely, you really liked it. You enjoyed him calling you out or saying things that made you squirm.

You swallowed and chuckled, looking down to your bare feet, “No. Guess not.” You spoke timidly.

Harry closed the space between you and softly placed a finger under your chin and nudged your face upward to look at him, “Then why?” He dropped his finger but continued looking at you, waiting for you to be honest with him. He knew why, he wanted to hear it though.

You inhaled his scent and it made you feel like there wasn’t anyone else in the world except you and Harry. You couldn’t get over it, how he smelled and how he spoke to you. It was like magic how you felt all these things for him when you’d never even felt this way about your own boyfriend.

“Because…” you breathed out, struggling to keep your eyes on his but determined to be open with him, because what did you have to lose? “I wanted you here. I like you.” You whispered the last sentence but Harry heard it loud and clear. His grin grew larger.

“Yeah? You want me around? Because you like me?” Harry loved this. Loved hearing you tell him that you liked him. He needed more, though. He really wanted to hear you just adoring him but he knew to take it slow. Harry was sort of eager to hear some praise from you.

You bit your lips and chuckled, looking down for a moment before bringing your eyes back up to Harry and nodded with your lips tucked into your mouth. You were embarrassed.

“It’s okay if you like me, Y/N. Sometimes you can’t control the way you feel for another person. Sometimes there’s a connection between two people that just can’t be ignored. Chemistry. That’s how I feel with you. The moment I saw you, I wanted to know you. We have chemistry. I think even Miguel knows it. There’s no denying is there? Do you feel it too?”

Harry brought one of his hands forward and brushed his knuckles against yours, looping a couple of fingers around your palm as he watched you and then let go. It was just a brief touch and you didn’t want him to let go. The touch from his fingers sent sparks of electricity through your hand and up your arm.

You grasped onto his hand that he just released from you and held on. You looked up to him and nodded, “Yeah. I do. I can’t explain it. What do you think it means?”

Harry squeezes your hand back and smiles down at you, “I think it means we try and find out what it means. Together. I don’t want to interfere with your relationship with Miguel, though. I’m not here to break up love. I just, I don’t know. There’s something about you, Y/N. It’s really up to you how we proceed.” Harry was proud of that spiel. Just emotional and dramatic enough that you were swooning.

Harry’s lips looked so pink and so plush at this moment. You’d noticed his lips plenty before, but right now, it was like… you couldn’t take your eyes off his mouth. And he noticed it too, the way you kept looking down at his lips.

“What do you want, Y/N? I know what I want but it depends on you what happens here.”

You nodded and blinked your eyes at Harry, “You’re right. I need to…” you sighed, and you knew it was the right decision, “… break up with Miguel. He wouldn’t like any of this and it wouldn’t be fair to him.”

Harry nodded and you watched as his eyes lowered to your lips and down your figure, back up to your eyes. It made you feel like you were floating away, losing balance, just the way he looked at you. He brought his free hand up to your cusp your cheek in his palm. He ran his thumb over your cheekbone gently. He looked over your face and down to your lips again. He still didn’t have you figured out quite yet but he knew he was getting close.

You could do nothing but to stand still, under his spell, looking into his eyes. Harry wanted to lean down and kiss you but he was stuck between wanting you to ask him and just making the first move. Sure he’d kissed you before, but you were under the impression that was all a dream. This would be real to you and he wasn’t sure how far you were willing to go. Fuck he was soft for you. If only you knew all the ways in which Harry has bent to your will since he met you, you’d realize he was an absolute sap for you. A complete fool. Even he wasn't quite ready to admit that to himself yet.

With Harry’s close proximity and the way he was looking at you, you thought he might lean down to plant a kiss on your mouth but he didn’t. You were a little disappointed. He seemed so forward and confident that you assumed he'd make the first move. You were a bit shy to ask him to kiss you. Even when you asked Miguel to do it, you had to brace yourself for spitting it out, taking the step to speak the words into existence.

“Harry?” You started with just saying is name. It could give you a moment to think about what you wanted. Buy you some time while you got up the courage to ask him to kiss you.

“Yes, Y/N. What is it?” He continued gently brushing his thumb over your cheek. But Harry knew you were struggling to work up the confidence to ask him what you wanted to. He brought his thumb downward to barely brush at the edge of your mouth, watching as your breath caught in your chest. He needed you to want it so bad you’d ask him. In all honesty he wanted you to beg him, that was his ideal scenario but he had a feeling that somehow you’d have him begging you at some point. You already had so much sway and power over him.

The feeling of Harry’s warm thumb grazing the edge of your mouth was the sexiest thing you’d ever had happen to you. You’d be imagining this moment for many years to come. The tall man stood before you patiently, silently waiting for you to speak.

“Do you want to kiss me?” You scrunched your face in embarrassment and looked down, but Harry’s hand on your cheek lowered to your jaw, which he titled upward. He didn’t want you to feel embarrassed or take your eyes off him.

With your eyes back on him Harry smiled softly at you, his eyes looking over your face and down to your lips, “I have been dying to kiss you. Do you want to kiss me?” He leaned in closer to you, just waiting for the word. He could feel you tremble from nerves.

You nodded and looked down at his pink lips and then back to his eyes, your mouth parting slightly at the anticipation. Your heart was raging in your chest and you were shaking as if you were cold but it was warm in your bedroom.

“Yes.” You breathed out in a whisper. Still feeling the sting of embarrassment at speaking such a thing to a near-stranger. But you felt like you’d gotten to know Harry well over the last couple of days. All the texts back and forth and the conversation at the café. He was no longer a stranger.

Yes, was all you needed to say. Harry brought his other hand up to your face, cupping both cheeks in his palms he brought you closer to him as he lowered his face to feather his lips over yours. You could feel his warm breath on you and his scent was strong and unlike anything you’d smelt on anyone. It was inviting and sexy. It made you desire to do more than just kiss him.

When you puckered your lips in an effort to press them into Harry’s you closed your eyes as your world spun out from under you. Harry began to apply more pressure and his lips were now in synch with yours. You brought your hands up his back and closed the space between your bodies so you could experience him fully.

Harrys soft lips were slow and achingly gentle on yours. You didn’t have much practice but your instincts provided you with just enough understanding to open and close your mouth around his lips, pacing your movements with his.

Harry’s tongue smoothed over your lips and you opened your mouth for him. He wasted no time in showing you what it felt like to have a passionate kiss that made you feel weak in the knees. The kind you’d read about or heard about. You hummed at the feeling of Harry’s tongue licking into your mouth and your senses were fading so that there was little thought in the way you moved with him. Your hormones led you and you stuck your own tongue out to participate in kissing Harry with more feeling.

Suddenly, with Harry’s lips still on yours, he nudged you back toward your bed. When the back of your knees hit your mattress you plopped down and Harry climbed right over you, moving you up your mattress. His hands were holding at your ribs as he adjusted your position, but he kept his mouth over yours.

You put your hands on his shoulders and kept your eyes closed, basking in the sensation of being kissed, really kissed. Harry reluctantly moved his mouth from yours and he gasped. You were a natural. He loved the way you kissed him and he wanted more. It made him dizzy and horny. Harry needed badly to take care of his sexual urge and he knew you weren’t going to provide him with any relief in the way his body required. Not tonight anyway.

You watched as Harry scooted next to you and sat upright with his back to the headboard, "Climb up, into my lap.” He patted his thigh.

You were quick to comply, crawling over him and spreading your thighs around his as you moved yourself up his lap and settled your bottom down, facing him. You put your hands at his shoulders and Harry grabbed your wasted and pulled you even closer to him so your centers were smashed together. Harry’s lips found yours again as soon as he had you as close as you could be on his lap and you both continued lapping at one another and feeling lust bubble from your insides.

It didn’t take you long to feel it. Harry under your shorts, pressing into you right where you like your fingers when you get yourself off. But you were clothed and so was he, so it wasn’t that bad, right? Out of impulse you softly wiggled your hips downward over him and Harry hadn’t really expected it, but then again, maybe he wasn’t too surprised. You were a horny little thing, he knew it. And now that he was going to be around you more often he’d see to it that you stayed this way, so that eventually, you’d give in to him.

Harry placed his hands at your hips and pressed you down over him causing you moan and you backed away for a moment. All of the features on your face told Harry you wanted him. Your dilated pupils, your swollen lips, the way your mouth was parted, pink cheeks.

“I can’t. I mean, I don’t know if we should do this.” You were referring to the tiny bit of dry humping that had begun. It was just a little but it had you aching to be put out of your misery. And Harry was aching as well.

“S’okay. We won’t do anything you don’t want. Only want you to feel comfortable.” Harry was dying inside. He could tear your clothes off and fuck you right now, take your virginity and get you pregnant with his child. You’d probably like it too. He could smell you.

You nodded and smiled, sliding your hands down to his chest. You really liked Harry. He was so sweet and so patient with you. He seemed like a man with experience. You were sure of it, yet he was here with you, a virgin. You couldn’t understand what he saw in you, why he’d waste his time with you.

You bit your lip and looked up at your ceiling. You were facing quite the conundrum. You wanted to know what it would feel like to do a little more with him, but you were scared to sin further than what you already had.

“Do you…” you looked back to Harry and took a breath before continuing, “um… like me? Like, enough that you want to get to know me more?” You didn’t know how to ask him what you wanted. You were about to break up with Miguel and now that you were doing this with Harry you wanted to make things official and fast so you felt less like a slut. So it all felt worth it.

Harry, being quite observant and intuitive understood your need to confirm his feelings for you over and over again. He knew you’d want him to ask you to be his girlfriend. Normally he’d feel like this was a silly thing, a waste and he’d do it only to secure a future lay, but you were different and he couldn’t lie and tell himself this didn’t pull a smile over his face.

“I do like you. A whole lot. I already told you, there’s something about you. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same now that I’ve met someone like you. What about you? Do you like me too?”

You quickly nodded and sighed at his words, “Yes! I really do. I feel the same, Harry.” You smiled and Harry nudged his nose to yours and kissed you again, slowly, softly, with just the tiniest bit of tongue that had your panties slick and sticky and smelly (you could smell and so could Harry).

Harry released your mouth, grinning at you, “Yeah? That’s music to my ears. You’re gonna make me fall in love with you, aren’t you?” Harry was piling on the lovey dovey stuff. He knew you’d like it. And the sooner he could make you fall in love the sooner you’d allow him to take your virginity.

You giggled and shook your head, “You’re not serious.” You laughed out as you spoke.

Harry titled his head to the side and squinted at you with a frown, “Why don’t you think I’m serious? Have I not shown you how much I like you since day one? I really, really like you, Y/N. Like, more than you understand.”

You swallow and your heart is swelling at his words. He really likes you. It makes you feel gooey and melty and so excited.

“I don’t know. I just feel so, like, this isn’t real. Like you’re a dream. Like you’re too interesting and smart for me.”

Harry’s frowned deepened, “Fuck that. You’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met, Y/N. Don’t sell yourself short like that. And this is real. Get used to it.”

A ghost of a smile fell over your features at Harry’s words. He was making you blush and you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

Harry squeezed at your hips and then brought a hand up to cup the side of your face again, brushing his thumb up and down your cheek, “In fact. I want you to be my girlfriend. I know you haven’t broken up with Miguel, but I want you to be mine. Do you want that too?”

This was what you wanted. A confirmation of his feelings by way of commitment. You nodded, “Yes. I do. I want to be with you. I promise I’ll break up with Miguel tomorrow.”

Harry couldn’t give a fuck about Miguel but he did want you to be his alone. He felt possessive over you and if he had the chance, he’d flaunt it in Miguel’s face on Sunday. He was quite thrilled by this idea.

“Yeah? You want to be my girlfriend, Y/N?” Harry dipped his face close to yours, his lips over your jaw and you closed your eyes.

When Harry peppered small kisses over your jaw and down your neck you panted and rocked into him. The way it felt to have warm, wet kisses drawn down your neck by Harry’s lips couldn’t be explained. And he was your boyfriend now. Everything felt so surreal and sudden but it was earth shattering. Nothing would be the same for you from now on. You knew it. There was a shift in energy around you and you were prepared for it because Harry was part of that. Harry wasn’t the kind of guy your parents would be happy about. They barely tolerated you dating Miguel. And you almost broke up with Miguel to make your dad happy, even though he never asked you to do such a thing. But, you knew it right now, if your dad asked you to break up with Harry directly, you wouldn't.

When you began to slowly shift your hips and grind over Harry he realized you really liked having your neck kissed. He gently licked your skin and nipped at you, sucking lightly and then kissing down further. You moaned and your core tingled in delight. You knew you were rocking yourself over Harry’s hard penis. He was hard for you and that sent bubbles and sparks up your body, knowing you had done that to him.

He felt so good under you and his mouth on your neck made your mind blank, your only concern was the carnal need you had for Harry. And Harry wanted you to get what you needed from him. Even if he couldn't get what he needed. He'd let you use his big cock to rub yourself over and find relief if you needed to.

Harry gently lifted his hips upward for you as he draped kisses all over your neck and up to your jaw. He was solid in his pants and it hurt a little to have you smashing over him the way you were. But he loved a little pain so it was no deterrent for him.

Your movements became a little more hastened as you humped Harry’s clothed cock feeling the tell-tell tingle of your impending orgasm. When you moaned a little too loudly Harry brought his mouth over yours and you felt like your heart was going to leap out of your chest.

With Harry’s lips smoothed over yours and your clit rubbed at the fabric of your wet panties over Harry you felt your body begin to give in to pleasure. You were at the point of no return now. If God was watching you, you couldn’t have cared in that moment. Harry was too good and he was all you wanted.

Harry’s lips on yours caught your moans and you began to see stars as you rubbed your clit just right over his firm penis. The friction was perfect and your orgasm boiled out into your panties and over your thighs.

Harry had to cover your mouth with his hand. Kissing you wasn’t doing the trick in keeping you quiet. He knew you were coming and his own heart was pounding from the experience with you. He couldn’t come like this. Harry needed a bit more, but he was certainly pleased at how you’d given in to him, even if it was just dry humping. He realized he had quite the effect on you and that fed his ego quite well.

With his lips at your neck and his hand on your mouth you groaned into his palm at the feeling of coming like this. It was a first for you. It’d always been by your own hand in private. But this was better than doing it alone.

When you’d finally quieted down a bit and stopped your hips from moving Harry released your mouth. You lazily opened your eyes to look at the man with dark pupils and flared nostrils. He was so turned on and horny it was ridiculous. He’d need to find a way to release ASAP. Tonight.

Harry tried to be as gentle and caring with you as possible when he took a sample of your blood while you were coming. It was easy. He took what he needed quickly, completing the task for Tamie.

He also tried to be as gentle and caring with you as he made an excuse to leave shortly after you'd orgasmed. He tucked you into your bed, kissing your face all over, and told you he’d let himself out. You were nearly asleep by the time Harry was already reaching out to Tamie on his way home to let her know he’d already gotten the sample. He was also motivated to call her over early so he could have a warm body to fuck. He needed a release immediately. After having you rub yourself over him like that, your scent all over him, the front of his pants still damp with you, he was in physical pain. And for his own health, he needed it as well.

Tamie questioned Harry at first, “I can come over in the morning to get it, as we planned.”

Harry shook his head and adjusted his heavy cock, “Can you come over now? Please?”

Tamie knew the reason. She was aware of what had happened in your room and that Harry was left hanging. She also knew his health would suffer if he went too long. So, for the sake of balance and because Harry was very attractive (as incubi tended to be) she relented.

Harry didn’t take long to get right down to it when Tamie arrived. He was whining and groaning as soon as his pants came off. Tamie wasn’t a stranger to sex with incubi. She loved the feel of them. Their large cocks, the best in kingdom of Hell.

And because Tamie was a fallen angel, he didn’t need to prep her before slamming into her cunt. She could handle it, and it felt good.

Harry fucked her insides and kept his eyes closed as he drove into Tamie. He pretended he was fucking you, dipping down into your tummy and pushing your insides apart. Tamie knew what this was. Just a need to be fulfilled. Nothing more. She wasn’t hurt by it or turned off. No hard feelings. She was just a warm hole to get him off until he could get inside of you. But she was using Harry just the same. She had her own sexual needs as well. Tamie had no trouble getting her needs met, she was gorgeous and men fawned over her but it was always a bonus when the man was an incubus. Typically human men would be falling over her but sex with humans wasn't always what it's cracked up to be.

“Fuck, Harry. Yes… ohhhh…” Harry slapped his hand over Tamie’s mouth. He didn’t want to hear her voice, only yours. Hearing Tamie’s voice and not yours nearly ruined his orgasm. He began to tremble as he was about to come. And as much as he was using Tamie he still wanted her to get off (for his own ego). He was desperate to come, hadn’t been so worked up in a long time. In fact, this was the first time in many long years that he had to hold himself back from coming too soon.

“Come on my cock, Y/N. Let me feel you…” he had no shame in calling Tamie by your name and Tamie was too far gone to even worry about it. She nodded and slid her hand down to her clit to speed up her approaching end. She squeezed her eyes closed as she came and moaned into Harry’s hand loudly.

As soon as Harry felt Tamie pulsing around him Harry released into her, driving his cock deep and stilling his hips, come coating her insides. Harry could control who he got pregnant. His sperm would only impregnate when he was ready for it. This was just for sex. This was just to release. It was needed. Necessary.

Harry sent Tamie on her way with the sample of blood and he finally felt normal again. He really needed that. He hadn’t realized going five days without intercourse (something he hadn’t done in many hundreds of years) would take such a toll on his mind and body. He felt like he could think more clearly and breath a little better now. He just hoped you’d be ready for him soon. He didn’t want to be putting his cock in anyone else at the moment. Not that he didn’t enjoy Tamie’s cunt. She felt very good around him and she was pretty but he only wanted you. Only wanted your scent covering him, your moans filling his ears, your eyes on him as you came… He couldn’t wait to corrupt you.

Part 6*

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maochira · 1 year

Note

hey hey ! mind if i request something of the father figures you do?

imagine the reader telling the ‘dads’ that they are done with soccer(being overstimulated or such), and that they’d rather do modeling. i totally see chris prince joining in on the reader’s modeling career(since he brought yukimiya into it)

This has been sitting in my drafts for days at this point it's time to actually finish and post it LMAO I'm kind of behind on requests rn,, Also I love writing for the father figure series so so much thank you for the request!!

Father figure trio masterlist (I recommend reading part 1 if you're new here)

Regular masterlist and request rules

Tags: gn!reader, open ended but it's intended in a way in which reader doesn't quit soccer, writing this before sleeping because it's comforting to write the father figures :]]

Noel Noa

-it's been a rough few weeks for you in a lot of aspects in life, and after your team loses a fairly important match, you just feel like you're not made for soccer anymore

-as always, Noa drives you home after the match. But he notices how you seem a bit off. He decides not to address it, though, as he prefers letting you approach him by yourself

-a few minutes into the car ride, you decide to tell him you feel like it's time to quit soccer. It's out of nowhere, so Noa is shocked and pulls the car to the side, so he can talk to you properly about it

-it makes you very emotional to talk about. You're in tears while you explain how things haven't been right in the recent weeks, how even soccer started feeling wrong, and how you've been thinking about looking into another career like modeling, since that's something you've done once or twice

-Noa is very worried about you. Not only because you're in tears, but also because he didn't know how rough the past few weeks have been for you

-he suggests you should take a break from soccer and maybe not play in the next match and even skip some practices. He really doesn't want you to quit because he sees the potential in you, but he also understands that if you'd keep pushing yourself to soccer right now, it would only make you more frustrated

-he also feels unsure about you picking up a modeling career. Sure, he'd definitely support you if you decided to go into that direction in your future, but at the same time he's heard a lot about bad parts of the modeling world and he doesn't want anyone to make you insecure about your appearance and body

Chris Prince

-lately, soccer just hasn't been fun anymore. You've been feeling as if you haven't done any progress in months at this point

-it makes you question yourself if you should continue pursuing soccer, or if you should get into another career

-Chris is currently out of the country, he's been traveling for soccer matches for weeks. That's one of the reasons why your fun with soccer has been decreasing as well

-it's late at night when you start questioning yourself once more, so you decide to call Chris to talk to him about it. He's very surprised because he believes you have been improving, and he tells you how much more you could improve if you continued

-but he would never push or force you into anything, so he also asks you what kind of other career choices you've got in mind. When you tell him one of your ideas is modeling, he gets almost as encouraging as he is with your soccer career. He even offers you to help you get more into it, so that's something you'll be thinking about for a few days

Lavinho

-over the past weeks, everything with your teammates started going downhill. For some reason, you don't get along with them anymore in the way you used to. Even when you're playing, it's not working properly anymore, which gets you very frustrated

-Lavinho wants to pick you up from practice, but he arrived a little too early, so he ends up watching you and your team at training. And he can immediately see how the energy between you and your teammates isn't the same as it used to be

-after practice, when he drives you home, he asks if anything happened between you and your teammates

-you tell him how you just don't seem to get along with them anymore, how some of yojr teammates have been harshly criticizing your skills in a non-constructive way, and how that made you insecure about playing soccer and that it made you think you should quit

-Lavinho gets very sad about this. It actually breaks his heart a little. He loves to watch you play and he's always felt like you're truly yourself when you're on the field. He encourages you to address the issue with your teammates to your coach, so any problems could be talked out

-you and Lavinho continue the conversation. He wants to know more about what careers you could imagine getting into instead of soccer

-when you mention seeing modeling as an option, he's a bit surprised, but not in a negative way. He just never thought that would be something you're interested in. Regardless, he'd be supportive if you ended up going with that career path

-he talks to you in a rather lighthearted way about how you're still young, how you still have time to decide, and how you can still change your plans if the one you end up going with the wrong path

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vro0m · 4 months

Note

Seeing how confident McLaren is about their car and their drivers makes me nervous. I saw that Toto extended his contract at Merc through 2026 and it just feels like same sh*t, different toilet. I think Toto should just be satisfied as the owner of the team and step aside and let another TP come in and change the culture at Merc. I think that could potentially attract new engineers that could help with the development of the car.

Lewis is struggling with his qualifying times and George is overconfident. At this point, it's starting to feel like Merc is just not that girl. Why are they starting all over again with their car? I'm fairly new to f1, but I thought it takes years to develop a championship-winning car, yet they're developing a brand new one over the winter? That doesn't feel right to me.

Also, I didn't understand TeamLH bragging about Lewis retaining Monster as his sponsor, when Monster jumped ship from Merc to McLaren. Isn't losing sponsorships a bad thing, since the team is losing money that it would likely use to develop the car that would help Lewis win his 8th WDC? A loss for the team is a loss for Lewis..unless I'm wrong.

I truly hope Merc proves me wrong, but something's gotta give. I just don't have confidence in them.

Do you think that Merc needs a major overhaul or do you think they're going to make progress continuing on the path that they're on?

Okay i was gonna answer this in the morning but i can’t sleep so here we go, sorry if it’s a bit unhinged.

Here’s the thing. In my book, the second rule of F1 is never ever listen to a team principal. (The first rule being, of course, you always, always have to do better than your teammate.) So I’ll believe McLaren’s confidence is warranted when I’ll see it. Hell, I’ll believe they really are confident and it’s not basic 101 PR when I’ll see it. And mind you, Toto seems pretty confident too. (The only thing I’m happy about here is that he also said they’ve been working on their pitstops but due to Rule 2, I’ll also only believe it when I’ll see it.)

They’re starting over with their car because, as you noticed, the past two cars were Not Working. So no real choice here but to get back to square 1 rather than spend a third year trying to make a car that doesn’t work, work. Building a championship-winning car is less a matter of time (I mean especially nowadays with the costcap and windtunnel allocation etc. it’s getting irrelevant), and more a matter of getting it right. RedBull got it right and they won. The problem is : the others need to develop to catch up to them because they didn’t get it as right as RB, and that takes time and resources and is very complicated. And if you have a bad starting point, it’s that much more difficult. Basically there were too many things that needed changing with this car concept anyway. So they’re starting over. But it's also not like they don't have data and experiments from the past two years. They know more about these regs and cars than in 2021. Are they gonna win the ‘24 championship with the W15? No. But they weren’t gonna win by keeping the last, dysfunctional car concept either anyway. At least now they have a chance to develop in the right direction.

I did not read anything about the Monster sponsorship because i really, really don’t care. I didn’t even know that was a thing. I don’t think Monster leaving Mercedes is gonna make a dent in their budget. First of all, there’s a costcap now, so they can’t throw money at a bad car to make it good anyway. Second of all, they have a lot of other sponsors. Third, they’re the second most expensive team in the paddock. And fourth, their parent company is worth 85 billions of dollars. Lewis’ 8th has pretty much nothing to do with Monster or any sponsorship.

To answer your main question : no, I don’t think Merc needs a major overhaul. Given that you’re fairly new to F1 I concede it might not look like it in the current context but changing TPs is actually Not All That. And it generally doesn’t really solve anything. If anything I’m against major overhauls. Imho a stable ground is the best ground to build up on. Toto is... Toto. But he’s not the reason why the car is bad. It’s a whole team. 2’000+ employees. You can’t pinpoint any of the problems they have on one singular person. I mean Ferrari has had 5 different TPs in the last 10 years and that has solved exactly zero of their problems, and they still haven’t won a championship since 2007.

They are making progress. All of them are. It’s just, it’s F1. We’re talking about such tiny tiny differences in performance now, millimeters off of a piece of carbon fiber, milliseconds off of a time sheet. The time the pecking order could be turned upside down from one race to the next has been gone for decades. It’s all about the long game when the differences are so subtle. Even more now that they, again, can’t just throw money and wind tunnels at issues. It’s frustrating when it’s not your driver/team on top but success is mostly cyclical in this sport. Right now it’s RedBull. Next who knows. Merc is just not that girl, at the moment. It is what it is.

ETA : btw I think firing Toto would really throw Lewis off so. Another reason not to imo.

#f1 #lewis hamilton #2023 winter break #vro0m's asks

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noir-fem · 1 month

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PREFACE: this is just MY OPINION on some takes I've seen. This is meant to call out some team black fans who take things way too far and bully people, but I will not condone any kind of bullying or harassment in the comments. We can disagree, we can discuss our disagreements, but what we're not gonna do is bully or threaten people, okay?

Okay.

That being said, this is a friendly reminder that the Targaryens invaded a land that WAS NOT THEIRS then proceeded to take the things that they believed they had a divine right to through force and violence (aka their dragons, which are a metaphor for the weapons of mass destruction used in real wars). This is literally a metaphor for colonizers. GRRM wrote the dance of dragons as an anti-war commentary and made it clear that the Targaryens thinking that they're a divine race who are entitled to do whatever they want at the expense of the common man is a HORRIBLE WAY OF THINKING and this has gone completely over some of yall's heads.

Look, you can like whatever characters you wanna like for whatever reason! Nobody in HOTD is truly a good person, so there's no point in real people fighting with each other over it. But I'm tired of watching team black fans who justify their choice by saying this very thing proceed to bully and harass not only team green fans, but even the team green ACTORS because they don't like what the CHARACTERS did. Like, what happened to all of them being bad people?? And why call REAL people names, harass them, and even threaten them just because of what these FICTIONAL CHARACTERS did????

If it truly doesn't matter who you support because "they're all bad people", then why are you harassing REAL PEOPLE just because they don't like the same war criminals you do? "Both sides do bad things", so what moral high ground do you have over team green fans? One person on here said that some of y'all act like you're actually part of House Targaryen and it's true! If the Targaryens were real people who actually did these things, y'all defending them so staunchly would be worrying to say the least!

I love Aemond as a character, and I can understand his motivation for killing Luke, but I'll never defend him killing Luke because at the end of the day, children getting killed is unexcusable NO MATTER WHAT. I don't want to watch anything horrible happen to Rhaenyra's children any more than I want to watch Blood and Cheese happen to Helaena and her children. I love team green because I think they're interesting characters that I see a lot of myself in and I think that their actions make sense for the time period and circumstances they live in. However, I also look at their actions through a modern lens and would never condone some of the things they've done in real life.

Posting this bc I'm tired of seeing team green fans get called hypocrites while the people who claim to be feminists/progressives worship characters who represent the TOTAL OPPOSITE of feminism without a second thought. I'm tired of seeing certain fans make shitty takes saying that Alicent doing bad things "wouldn't be a problem if she would just own up to it!!", when team black fans go out of their way to justify Blood and Cheese and every other bad thing that their favs do.

Once again, keep the comments civil! if you start bullying or threatening people you're getting blocked and reported :)

#anti targ stans #house of the dragon #team green #i'm team green but i'm also team “war is terrible for everyone involved”#ESPECIALLY the common people who suffer the brunt of it while the people in power fight for no good reason #pro team green #putting the pro team green tag bc we are regularly under attack and need more support lol

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shima-draws · 6 months

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Saw your tags and omg HARD AGREE. Dragon Cry is SO bad nfkanmdsa

ME AND YOU SHAKING HANDS

Actually yes thanks for giving me the excuse to rant. Hold on. I'm typing furiously rn.

-Okay first of all they gave us the most ridiculously confusing plot I've ever seen. The twist with Sonya being Animus was kinda cool but they never really. Explained why she had a bond with him? She mentioned he used to be kindhearted at some point but we never see that literally ever at any point in the movie?

-The storyline is so all over the place it's a HOT mess. Especially the scene right after Natsu escapes the weird bird cage thing he runs off to find the others and suddenly they're all there? For some reason? Where did they come from. Why didn't they have a little reuniting scene. I literally rewound the movie to make sure I didn't accidentally skip a scene but nope they just made the most awkward cut/story progression in history I guess!!!

-The fanservice was so. SO bad. Like yeah the majority of the time I can at least tolerate it but this time it just made me extremely uncomfortable. Why are Erza and Lucy's boobs SO fucking large. Why did they have to make Lucy dance in like two strips of cloth. I thought I woke up in an alternate universe where Fairy Tail was a hentai. I genuinely wanted to vomit lmao

-The animation style really threw me off like I can tell it was either animated by a different studio or they wanted to try a different art style for the movie? But it just felt wrong and the proportions and faces were weird and. Yeah idk.

-What was up with the Three Stars?? Iirc we never got to learn their names or what their motivations were they were literally just. There. And they were built up to be these super powerful wizards only to get their asses kicked by FT like two scenes later. I get that being a movie obviously the fights had to be shortened but they literally did the same thing in Phoenix Priestess but WAY better. They really were like yeah uh we need some enemies for Team Natsu to fight let's just go with these guys and not give them any personality or backstory or motivations. (Except for the doll dad he was okay I guess)

-WHY WAS LEVY THERE. LITERALLY. ACTUALLY. She literally did nothing she served NO purpose in the movie she was just there?? Did they just want to shove in as many cameos as possible??? I know generally Levy isn't much of a fighter which is fine, I was kinda expecting them to do a Gajevy scene where Gajeel rescues her from some soldiers or smth which would have been fine but they didn't even do that. She literally just stood there and had like 2 voice lines. GO GIRL GIVE US NOTHING

-SPEAKING OF CAMEOS this is more personal beef than anything but man WHYYY wasn't Loke in the movie,, my boy my beloved my stupid idiot lion I'm so mad he wasn't even onscreen for like, 5 seconds

-I'm sorry but Juvia was so unhinged this movie her possessive/stalker behavior over Gray was actually super fucking creepy lmao

-What did they do to Happy. What the FUCK did they do to Happy

THEY MASSACRED MY BOY. LOOK AT HIM. HE'S GOT ANXIETY

-ALSO the scene where Happy and Lucy were crying over Natsu and we got tons of flashbacks from his POV of people who are important to him? WHY THE FUCK WASN'T HAPPY THERE?? They literally showed everyone from Fairy Tail precious to Natsu except Happy and I'm just sitting here like. HELLO?? You are SO wrong for that

-I will say I DID enjoy the little Nalu teasers we got especially the scene where Natsu showed Lucy the stars 🤧

But yeah I was here for this and this only:

The Nalu + Happy family bonding moments made it OKAY

Anyway sorry rant over. Dragon Cry bad. Natsu's brief moment of looking half dragon was a super sexy character design choice but the buildup is not worth it imo

#God damn it I just *clenches fists* hate Fairy Tail. That's a lie I love Fairy Tail.#Which is why I'm so mad this movie did it dirty #Shima answers questions #Phoenix Priestess was so good especially in comparison to this......#Ughhh this movie could have been FANTASTIC if they'd actually written it better #Anyway it wasn't AWFUL it was standard as far as anime films go. But I definitely wouldn't recommend #And I'm definitely not going to watch it a second time lmao #Long post #SORRY IDK WHAT TO TAG THIS. ASK TO TAG. I don't want to put my negative ramblings in the tags #Negative #I GUESS?? IDK #Fairy Tail #FT #Nalu #Fairy Tail Dragon Cry

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delicatenightfury · 1 year

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Let Me Go

2022 Month of Writing: Day 9

Pairing: Gally x reader {Part 1 of ?}

Prompt:

Word Count: 1,390

Warning: implied character death

Author's Note: please don't steal my work. you can choose to respond to the prompt as well, but don't steal my work

There is a chance of this turning into a series of some sort after the month of writing is done, so we'll see how I'm feeling about things 😅

“You really think I’m going to let Thomas back into the Maze after what he’s done?” Gally asked Teresa. He turned to look at his fellow Gladers. “Look around you! Look at our Glade. This is the only way. And when the Grievers get what they came here for, everything goes back to the way it was.”

y/n exchanged glances with Newt and Minho. The events of the last few days were horrible, of course. No one was doubting that. But things were changing now. y/n knew their lives weren’t going to be the same, whether or not Thomas and Teresa were sacrificed.

“Are you listening to this?” Teresa asked. “Why are you all just standing there? He’s crazy.”

“Will you shut up?”

“If you stay here, the Grievers are going to come back. They’re going to come back, and they’re going to keep coming back until you are all dead.”

“Shut up!” Gally shouted. “Tie him up.” He started to walk away, but noticed that the Glader he had spoken to wasn’t moving. “Did you hear me? I said tie him up!”

The two Gladers finally moved and began to lift Thomas off the ground. y/n watched as Thomas suddenly attacked the two boys and took their weapons. Newt, Minho, and Frypan jumped into action as well, taking their weapons and joining Thomas. Frypan freed Teresa from the pole as Chuck also joined them from the side. The small group stood at the Maze entrance, facing the rest of the Gladers.

“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” Gally said.

“You don’t have to come with us,” Thomas said, “but we are leaving. Anyone else who wants to come, now’s your last chance.”

“Don’t listen to him, he’s just trying to scare you.”

“No, I’m not trying to scare you. You’re already scared. All right? I’m scared. But I’d rather risk my life out there then spend the rest of it in here. We don’t belong here. Okay, this place isn’t our home. We were put here. We were trapped here. At least out there, we have a choice. We can make it out of here. I know that.”

Silence fell around them. Thomas and his friends stared down Gally, but also silently pleaded with the others. y/n caught Newt and Minho staring at her.

She knew they were right. She had been here for too long and never seen any progress. And while things were bad now, there was hope. She didn’t want to die in the Glade. So having the ability to be in charge of her own fate? She knew her decision.

Slowly, people started joining them. Winston, Jeff, multiple others. y/n stepped forward as well, smiling slightly at her friends.

Suddenly, Gally grabbed her by the arm. She whirled around to look at him, shocked.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice low.

“Taking control of my life.”

“You go out there, you’ll die.”

“And what would you care about whether I live or not, Gally?” she asked. She glared at him. “You’ve basically hated me since I got here, saying I’m some kind of freak for being sent to a Glade full of boys. You chose every possible moment to blame me for things going wrong, called me horrible names, and treated me like absolute crap. Now you want me to stay here with you? I don’t think so. Now let go of my arm.”

“I won’t let you go out there and kill yourself.”

“That’s not your decision to make. Now let. Go.”

She ripped her arm from his grip and went to join the others. She continued to glare at Gally, even when Newt quietly checked on her to make sure she was all right. Her small rivalry with Gally was no secret in the Glade.

“Gally, it’s over,” Thomas said. “Come with us.”

Gally was quiet for a long moment. He glanced over the group.

“Good luck against the Grievers.”

y/n sighed. As much as she disliked Gally, she didn’t want him or any of the others to die. But they had limited options and limited time.

Newt tapped her shoulder and gently pulled her into the Maze. She followed Thomas and the others. She had never been in the Maze before, but knew well enough the horrors that came from within the walls.

Everything was a blur soon after.

When they got closer to the supposed exit, Grievers started attacking. They dragged away Gladers, picking them off left and right. It was only by a miracle that she wasn’t dragged off too. They were able to get the door unlocked and hurried through, leaving the Grievers behind them.

They found themselves in a dimly lit hallway, with only one clear door. On the other side, they found machines destroyed and people lying on the ground. A video message played where a woman named Ava Paige explained the Maze Trials, the Scorch, and the Flare. Behind her, people were shooting one another before she shot herself.

“Is it over?” Chuck asked.

“She said we were important,” Newt replied. “So what are we supposed to do now?”

“I don’t know,” Thomas said. “Let’s get out of here.”

“No.”

y/n turned quickly, shocked to see Gally standing on the other side of the room.

“Gally?”

“Don’t,” Teresa said, stopping Thomas from going forward. “He’s been stung.”

It was true. Gally didn’t look good. He was covered in sweat and Griever blood. He dropped a Griever stinger, a gun in his other hand. y/n exchanged a look with Minho, who also saw it.

“We can’t leave,” Gally said.

“We did,” Thomas replied. “Gally, we’re out. We’re free.”

“Free?” He sounded like he was crying. He turned to look around him. y/n noticed the darkened veins on his neck. “You think we’re free out there? No. No, there’s no escape from this place.”

He lifted the gun, immediately setting everyone on edge. Thomas raised his arms.

“Gally, listen to me. You’re not thinking straight. You’re not. And we can help you. Just put down the gun.”

Come on, Gally, y/n thought. Listen to him. Don’t do anything stupid.

“I belong to the Maze.”

“Just put down the gun.”

“We all do.”

Everything happened so fast.

Gally fired a shot.

Minho threw his spear.

People were shouting.

y/n’s feet moved without thought.

She looked on with wide eyes at the spear in Gally’s chest. The spear Minho had thrown. He gasped for breath before collapsing to his knees and then to his side. Everyone watched on in shock as their fellow Glader went still.

At almost the same moment, y/n felt a burning in her side. She winced and lifted her hand to the sensation. When she pulled it away, she saw blood.

“y/n?” Newt said. At the same time, she faintly heard Chuck say Thomas’s name.

The two fell at nearly the same time. Minho was fast enough to catch her before she roughly hit the ground. She gasped in pain.

Everything was blurring around her. She could only barely make out the voices above her. She knew she was shot. She knew Chuck had also been hit. She was losing a lot of blood and was fighting for consciousness at this point. She could hear her friends begging her to hold on.

She barely managed to lift her hand. She felt someone grab it, which made her sob a little bit. She didn’t realize she had been crying.

“Hang on, y/n,” she heard them say. There was desperation in their voice. She could hear people crying, but couldn’t tell who. “Just hang on! We’ll get you out.”

She shook her head. Her vision was fading too fast. She wasn’t able to respond.

Through the growing fog, she could hear shouts. They couldn’t tell where they were coming from, if they were close or far.

The hand that was holding tightly to hers was ripped away, making her gasp softly. Her hand fell to the ground. The shouts became more distorted until they slowly disappeared.

y/n whimpered in pain.

This is it, she thought. I’m going to die alone.

She couldn’t fight it any more. She let go of whatever strength she was pulling from and surrendered to the darkness.

#month of writing #writing prompt #gally #gally x reader #maze runner #tmr #tmr gally #the maze runner #glade #grievers #angst

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professorspork · 1 year

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okay so this is probably just full-on tinfoil hat conspiracy nonsense or me making a big deal out of what really is just a visual metaphor/stylistic choice but

if you, like me, were like "there sure has been a lot of butterfly imagery in Volume 9 is it consistent at all?" well then

some thoughts under the cut

we don't see any butterflies at all until Episode 3, when the toy soldiers are taking the girls to the Crimson Keep. a blue butterfly seems to be observing their progress:

the fact that the butterfly has pretty obvious heart imagery on the wings seemed notable to me! for what it's worth, the blue of the wings isn't quite the same blue as any blue on the Cat, but given that the Cat has been giving away pieces of their heart (though those pieces are always square, not heart-shaped) I figured that was worth noting.

that same butterfly floats through the scene when the girls first meet the Prince, and then serves as our POV character as we enter the castle, down through the tower.

when we first meet the Cat, to start with it is only a floating pair of eyes. So I was thinking... maybe the eyes are the wings, maybe the Cat can also transform into the butterfly? Something?

Upon further reflection I don't think the Cat is the blue butterfly, but there's certainly more to think about.

once the Cat gets them out of the castle and onto the road, the Cat is distracted by a yellow butterfly, also with the hearts:

the Cat even manages to catch the butterfly in its mouth, but sets it free instead of eating it when they're distracted by a new, different bug:

It should be noted that the Cat has never hunted a blue butterfly, only yellow ones (the same one?)

In episode 4, the Cat is again distracted from conversation by the yellow butterfly and leaves to chase it:

Notably, right before that moment the girls had been trying to convince the Cat to take them to the tree... which the Cat seemed reticent, not eager, to do. They've been there before, so what would be the point of going back? No sense seeing a sight seen. granted, this could just be some baseline reverse psychology, but again... worth noting.

eventually, the Cat pounces, and unearths a whole swarm of butterflies... but none of them have the hearts, and they're rendered more like the Cat, without lineart:

The next time we see anything butterfly related is at the Blacksmith's forge, where she's firing off a butterfly's wing... glowing yellow from the flames:

Then there's NO butterflies at all in Episodes 6 or 7 once Jaune starts steering the story.

Then Ruby runs away, she abandons even Little at the start of Episode 8, and:

a blue butterfly appears out of the darkness-- traversing from right in from her, over her shoulder, and then gone. it almost looks like it could have popped right out of her chest, just off camera where we couldn't see.

I truly have no idea if this means anything at all, I'm not gonna sit here like "THE BUTTERFLY IS SUMMER" because uh I don't think that's true, but. Butterflies are about as standard a symbol for change as you can get. butterflies are about becoming, but crucially they're also about death. once you're a butterfly you'll never be a caterpillar again. to some degree, you're not you anymore. the change is whole, molecular, irreversible.

that doesn't mean it's a bad thing, though.

after all, you get the freedom of wings.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #ruby rose #leah watches rwby

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woozapooza · 5 months

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Miscellaneous post-s5 Sopranos thoughts

This is just a selection of the stuff I wrote in my journal this season.

Adriana La Cerva suffered more than Jesus.

One of my favorite things to think about in any TV show is character parallels, and The Sopranos is fantastic on that front, yet for all the time I’ve spent thinking about which Sopranos characters parallel each other, somehow it took five whole seasons for me to notice what now seems like one of the most obvious pairs: Silvio and Melfi! They’re both Tony’s confidants and his two main advisers. Melfi is kind of his emotional consigliere, and Silvio is his…business therapist? What I’m trying to say is that they complement each other in their roles in Tony’s life, and that was (finally) extremely clear in “All Due Respect.” Despite looking at Tony from such different perspectives, they give him essentially the same advice about the Tony B. situation. They both conclude that Tony S. is using noble rhetoric of love and loyalty to mask what’s really motivating him. For Silvio, that motivation is “pride” and “a problem with authority,” and for Melfi, it’s “guilt and shame” (I suspect they’re both right to some degree, though I also think they’re both being unfair by implying that noble motives and selfish ones are mutually exclusive—come on, guys, he contains multitudes!) but they agree that to make the right decision, Tony needs to be honest with himself.

Another interesting parallel: in “Long Term Parking,” Christopher essentially does to Adriana the same thing he’s mad at Tony for doing to him. He “gave [Tony S.] pieces of [his] soul,” yet Tony S. favors the loose cannon Tony B. over him. Well, Adriana gave Christopher pretty much her entire soul, yet Christopher chooses the ungrateful Tony S. over her. The difference, of course, is that Tony S.’s choice (pre-“All Due Respect”) only costs Christopher his position, while Chris’s choice costs Adriana her life. And Adriana died knowing that Christopher had chosen Tony over her, his ride-or-die. With an emphasis on the “die,” I guess. At least Pussy had some comfort in his final moments. Adriana had none.

In “Sentimental Education,” Carmela’s relationship with Wegler failed because she tried to treat it as a transactional arrangement (well, and also because he was a pretentious misogynist). In “Long Term Parking,” it’s a transaction that brings Carmela and Tony back together. I’ve seen some people paint her relationship with Wegler as pure conniving on her part, but I don’t think that’s fair. It’s clearly how she’s used to relationships working.

In that same episode, I was SO proud of Carmela for starting to wake up to the absurdity of some of the things the Catholic church has taught her.

I’m glad Carmela and Tony are back together if only because it was so painful to see how utterly alone she was during the separation. The suffocating feeling I got from watching her try to escape her awful husband’s clutches while also being vilified by her son was reminiscent of the feeling I got watching Breaking Bad, except worse, because Walter Jr. was never as vicious to Skyler as Anthony Jr. is to Carmela.

I’m generally a Meadow apologist, but she had some unbearable moments this season, especially in “Unidentified Black Males.” The drama with Finn was frustrating (and to be fair, Finn could probably have handled it better, too, but Meadow was worse), but the worst part, IMO, was what she said to Carmela: “Haven't you thought beyond being dependent on a man?” Girl that is LITERALLY WHAT SHE’S TRYING TO DO NOW. Going back to the topic of Carmela’s isolation, it’s maddening that both her “progressive” daughter and her not-even-pretending-to-be-progressive husband essentially blame her for not being able to take care of herself, while also refusing to give her credit for trying to finally carve out an independent existence.

On that topic, this season continues the theme of what I call the obstacle of expectations: the fact that change is far harder when it seems that no one around you believes that you can change. (Which is not to say that this skepticism is always unearned.) Carmela tries to have a relationship with a normal guy, but concludes that “because [she] was married to a man like Tony, [her] motives will always be called into question.” Tony greatly impresses Melfi by not hooking up with Adriana (side note, it was really sweet how proud Melfi was of him), but he’s widely believed to have done so nonetheless, so he concludes, “I might as well have fucked her.” Then he says a sarcastic “thanks” to Melfi, the one person who consistently believes in his ability to change even after all he’s put her through, as if she’s the problem. Christopher literally says that “Tony don’t believe a person can change” and is therefore holding his past as an addict against him; in the following episode, when the Tonys are making jokes at his expense, Chris, in a moment of genuinely impressive maturity, says, “Sobriety's hard enough without having to get mocked for it.” All of Janice’s work in anger management is undone in a matter of seconds by her brother deliberately trying to undo it. Tony B. justifiably complains about the stigma of being an ex-con, although he’s a complicated case because he backslides into criminality at a moment when no one is being prejudiced towards him.

On that note, I never quite felt like I got Tony B. as a character. For example, I couldn’t really make sense of why he backslid so dramatically in “Sentimental Education.” I enjoyed him nonetheless, although a large part of that is surely due to the fact that it’s basically impossible not to enjoy Steve Buscemi.

This post is getting enormous so I won’t go into detail about this, but the stories people tell—about themselves and about others, to themselves and to others—stood out as a huge theme this season. Excellent! Very Black Sails!

“The Test Dream” was so much fun. More shows should do episodes that let them bring back legions of dead characters.

Have I mentioned how much I love Melfi? No I haven’t because it’s beyond the capacity of human language to express. This season she was in 62% of the episodes (8/13). Next season she’s in 71% of the episodes (15/21), which is an improvement. I think she should be in a million percent of the episodes, but I’m also grateful that she’s ever been on my screen for even a single second.

#x #The Sopranos #Anna watches tv #Anna watches The Sopranos

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reviewdiaries · 11 months

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Nan-spreading: an exploration of Bro!Nancy

I want to look a little bit closer at Bro!Nancy because it was a really fun and fascinating device from the writers to explore a lot of the emotions that Nancy would normally not allow herself to express. Do not misread this, I’m not saying she behaved appropriately, I think how she treats Ace (and to a lesser extent the others but the brunt of her attitude is levelled at Ace) is awful and quickly unravels from “banter” to verbal and physical abuse. But I do think that allowing Nancy these opportunities to explore her emotions (or lack thereof) was a fun choice by the writers.

Nancy has spent the last weeks by both necessity and choice repressing her feelings and emotions. There have been odd outbursts when she’s felt truly comfortable with the people she’s expressing them to (her dads), but on the whole she’s felt that she cannot safely express herself so it’s safest not to. She is at least acknowledging most of what she’s feeling to herself, which is huge progress from where her character began - baby steps. We’ve seen this from Nancy before though, and her not acknowledging how she’s feeling and pretending she’s fine never ends well.

She’s been through so much over the course of the show and before - she’s lost parents and lovers and dealt with trauma after trauma. And whilst she has talked about the alternate timeline with her dads, we’re not made aware of how much she actually disclosed to them of what happened (for example does Ryan know that he died too?) and she’s not told any of the others. She’s almost certainly suffering from PTSD and has a PhD in repression at this stage. Grief on top of trauma on top of more grief.

And suddenly she can’t access it. She knows it’s there, but she can’t feel it in the same way, like pushing up against a glass window unable to break through. Having her own emotions removed from her is a violation, and she understandably lashes out over it. But without a big bad directly responsible for her predicament it comes out at Ace for a variety of reasons - he’s the one with her the most throughout the episode, a lot of her emotions have been focussed on him over the preceding weeks, and to a certain degree this is his fault. He is after all the one who knocked the water into her face…

It’s a fascinating window into the idea of what happens when Nancy gets angry. Too often women aren’t allowed to get angry - told they’re overreacting, that they’re being ridiculous - and finally Nancy is given permission to. She gives herself permission to. Anger is one of the only things available to her, but it’s not the only thing. Fury, rage, want and need, all the physical aspects that she has crammed down into a tiny box are let loose at once in a messy and uncontrolled fire that burns everyone it comes into contact with. She allows herself to take up space, to get in people’s faces, to furiously spew whatever she thinks, to aggressively flirt with Ace, to try and needle him to make him feel the same anger she feels. Because she’s so angry about the curse, furious that she had a chance at happiness and Temperance stole it from her, left her alone in this. (She’s not alone, but she’s not allowing herself to see that yet.) Because she’s allowed her hope to be crushed and it makes her furious that Ace hasn’t and he keeps pushing and pushing and pushing her to have hope again.

She can’t, every time she allows herself to, someone else is taken from her, the other shoe drops and everything just keeps hurting. The water forces her to understand how it feels to have things withheld from you, to keep slamming herself futilely against a wall separating her from what she needs. She finally gets a glimpse of how Ace is feeling being kept from certain key details that she’s chosen he doesn’t need to know. And on the flip side Ace gets a glimpse of (a very heightened and overblown version) how Nancy has felt to continually be pushed and pressured. No Ace has never made her feel like eye candy or a piece of meat, but he has over the last twelve hours (the end of 4x01 and the start of 4x02) pushed over and over and over and not truly listened to her saying no when pressed for details. They’re neither of them managing to communicate effectively or listen to what the other one is truly saying, and the supernatural hijinks in this episode offer them a small (ridiculously overdramatic) peek at how the other is feeling.

Nancy hasn’t allowed herself to think about those days with Ace before he died, before she ended up back here torn up by grief and alone. If she thinks about it she unravels - the choke hold she has on herself is the only way she thinks she can get through this. It is a small, guarded piece of her heart that she has protected by any means necessary, and Ace (understandably, how could he know without knowing what he’s asking) has no idea what he’s asking her to divulge. He is consumed by the need to know because it’s a problem he can’t fix without all the facts and he is so done with Nancy lying and withholding information from him. It’s the kind of story that needs quiet and understanding and a slow gentle approach to show Nancy she isn’t alone, that he will protect her and hold these most intimate precious parts of her. Instead he effectively uses a crowbar once he sees there’s something she’s hiding. All Ace can see is Nancy has given up on them, but whenever anyone else comes to her with a problem she reassures them they’ll find a way to fix it because that’s what they do.

By breaking out the supernatural BroJuice (and honestly I am fascinated to see how that unfolds with each individual drinking it because it clearly doesn’t affect everyone the same way) the writers gave Nancy a way to express some of what she was feeling and experiencing and to work through her anger and fear and some of the nastier feelings she was keeping bottled up. Without her suddenly feeling blocked from the emotions she’s been feeling (the ones she’s been allowing herself to feel, the ones that make Nancy Nancy) we wouldn’t have the realisations, the understanding that she cannot hold this information away from Ace, or that last gorgeous scene with her opening up to him finally. Sure I would love it if she could have reached that point in another way, but as supernatural hijinks go this one was a fascinating spin.

#nancy drew #nancy drew cw #cw nancy drew #nancy drew meta #nancy drew analysis #nancy x ace #ace [redacted]#nancy #nancy drew 4x02 #nancy drew 4.02 #nancy drew spoilers #nace

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windhamsrotunda · 1 year

Text

Bloodmoney - Jay White

Pairing: Jay White x Female! Reader (mentioning of Tama Tonga)

Synopsis: Backstage, you happen to be talking to one of your co-workers at NJPW, Tama Tonga. Jay crosses paths with you, and is seemingly the jealous type. But you had absolutely no idea what he could be capable of behind closed doors.

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Angst, Smut, Jealous / Dominant!Jay, Dumbification, Sex with Consent, Vaginal Sex, Creampie, Aftercare, 18+ Only.

Word Count: 1.5k

Requested by: @cuttingedge3

Thousands of thoughts rushed through your brain like motion detectors as you were casually strolling backstage, your high heels clicking against the solid concrete floors. The sound of your high heels were louder than your voice in the back of your mind, well, you could barely hear yourself think. You carried your bag that was lazily slung over your shoulder, you had all of these mixed emotions about how Jay had recently confessed to you how ‘’he liked you’’ and how it was possibly gonna ruin your friendship for good.

But you were overthinking shit again like you always were.

As your leather bag plopped down hard onto the concrete without any mercy, you glanced down at your own feet for a second. Snapping out of your daydreaming, your eyes narrowed down at your phone, suddenly, you felt a swift tap on your shoulder.

‘’Who in the fuck—’’

‘’Oh, hi Y/N! Did I catch you at a bad time?’’ Your co-worker Tama questioned in curiosity, feeling a bit bad from startling you since you were so focused into your phone you didn’t even acknowledge him crossing paths with you.

You let out a small giggle

‘’Nah, I didn’t see you come towards me. Sorry about that. But hey, how have you been stranger?’’ You replied in a joking manner, giving him a welcoming hug.

‘’I’ve been well, thanks. How’s everything with you?’’

‘’Same old, same old. Although I have been hitting the gym and trying to lose weight. As a matter of fact, I believe I’ve made some progress.’’ Tama flashed a charming smile at you, a smile that you could never forget.

You and Tama talked for a good couple of minutes, right when you were about to go your separate ways, Jay White was lurking down the hall.

‘’I’ll catch you later, take care of yourself for me alright?’’ Tama gave you a wink and a hug.

‘’Okay, see you later!’’ You waved, smiling widely.

‘’Hey, who in the hell was that were you talking to?’’ a voice erupted behind you, making you spin around quickly.

‘’Jay? I thought you had a match! Don’t be silly, that’s just a friend of mine, his name is Tama,’’ You explained, the lump in your throat grew.

Jay seemed as if he either lost his match or he was a bit ticked off by the fact you were caught talking to another guy.

His eyebrows knitted.

‘’A friend? Then why was he flirting with you, huh Y/N?’’ He inquired sternly, ‘’I saw him wink at you, I am not stupid. He was showing off for you.’’

‘’Okay, look Jay. If you’re going to be that way, then forget about what you said about wanting to be more than friends. I know what you’re trying to do, you’re trying to be controlling and jealou—-’’

Within a matter of seconds, you knew you fucked up. He cut you off, grabbing your hand by force and dragging you to his locker room that was three doors down the hall. Jay let go of the grip on your hand, slamming the door behind him.

‘’I don’t give a damn about who he is or what he’s capable of, but he should know who you actually belong to,’’ He said, inching his way closer to you.

You smelt the strong scent of men’s cologne lingering off of him, your face began to wash over in sexual frustration. The sexual tension between you and your ‘’not made it official yet’’ boyfriend was bearing. You had two choices, either you leave the locker room untouched or take it like a woman should.

Your heart skipped a beat as his hand met your jawline, his calloused fingers softly grazing over your jaw.

‘’I have been always waiting for this moment since the day I laid my eyes on you, Y/N. I want you to know who owns you.’’ He murmured, eyes never taken off of your’s. ‘’Besides, I bet Tama can’t make you feel as good as I will make you feel right in this locker room.’’

You were lost in the moment, your head was spiraling with sexual fantasies that you could never imagine happening. Your blood rushed from your head down to your garden, Jay was barely touching you although his voice alone turned you on. Everything, including the thought of him turned you on.

You needed to be punished.

Wasting no more time, Jay backed you into the wall and pressed all of his body weight against yours, he hoisted you up off of the ground so you could have a chance to wrap your legs around his waist. His hard erection through his ripped jeans poked at your thigh, he stared a hole right through you as he continued to dirty talk his way into fucking you senseless.

‘’All of these sick fantasies you have about me are about to come into reality,’’ He whispered, his nails dug into the flesh of your thighs as he kissed you with so much passion. ‘’Why have you waited so long for this moment, hmm? Instead of hesitating, all you had to do was ask. And I would’ve took the offer in a heartbeat.’’

His heavy breathing trailed down your sensitive neck, his teeth nipping at the sweet spot of your collarbone. You let out a soft cry, eyeing down at his rock hard erection that was visible.

‘’My eyes are up here, sweetheart. You won’t wait any longer for my cock.’’ Jay teased, grinding his hips against yours. ‘’I promise I’m a man of my word, just remember that.’’

Biting down on your lip, he carried you without effort to the locker room shower. He undressed you and followed by him removing his clothes completely. He lifted you up to bury his hands underneath your ass. Stepping into the shower with caution, he backed you into the shower wall. Starting the shower, the water spurted down as it began to get both of your bodies wet.

His crumbled fist found locks of your h/c hair, yanking your head back with a little bit of added force to it, but not too hard. Your eyes locked onto his orbs, his breathing began to become heavier than the sound of the water rushing down onto the both of you in the shower.

Without any knowledge of what he was about to do next, his eyes screamed for consent of owning you and fucking you into oblivion. Jay turned to his choice on sinking his cock deep inside of you, the head of his cock slipping into you with ease. You tilted your head back, a high pitched moan or two escalated out of you.

‘’J-Jay, my fucking god!’’

Picking the pace up, his dick now pounding in and out of you while he watched you grip around nothing. His hands were still buried underneath your ass, the side of his face fell into the crook of your neck, moaning aloud.

‘’Mhhh my god, Y/N. Didn’t really realize how good this will feel to both me and you.’’

His panting became much heavier, he was enjoying every second of this moment with you. Your face softened, blissful moans drowned the sound of the shower running. As your sore breasts jolted up, Jay’s hand quickly moved away from your bottom to attach it around your throat. He squeezed softly, while hoisting you up with one hand now without any effort. You let out a breathy moan, barely wincing at the contact he had around your throat. The pressure was soft, although he had no intention of hurting you – he wanted you to know who owns you.

‘’Who do you belong to?’’ He asked in a raspy tone, his large fingers aligned with your jawline.

‘’You. I belong to you!’’ You bellowed out, eyes pierced into his.

‘’Good girl.’’

He released his softened grip on your jawline, strands of his black hair fell into his moon-lit face. He looked so fucking sexy when he looked like this. An animalistic growl came out of Jay, your knees slowly starting to feel like jello.

‘’Where do you want me to cum, hmm? On your pretty little face?’’ He leaned to press his forehead against yours, hinting to you that he was close.

‘’Cum on my pretty little face.’’ Your lips tugged into a smirk.

‘’On your knees,’’

The head of Jay’s cock left your pulsating entrance, you obliged to get on your knees. His 6’1 height towered over you, he pumped himself a few times before releasing all over your face. He watched in amusement as you licked your lips seductively, with your finger slipping into your mouth humming at the taste.

‘’So fucking beautiful.’’ He praised.

Helping you off of your knees, he wrapped you in a dark blue towel securely.

‘’Did you enjoy our little shower session?’’ He asked, smiling playfully.

‘’Yes, I loved it a lot. I like when you show your animalistic side.’’ You confessed blushing.

‘’You haven’t seen anything yet, sweetheart. This is only the beginning to our love triangle.’’

A/N: Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! - Shar?

#jay white x reader #jay white fanfic #jay white njpw #jay white imagine #jay white drabble #jay white smut #njpw x you #jay white x you #jay white angst #njpw wrestling #njpw fanfiction #njpw x reader #tama tonga #njpw smut #bullet club

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