#I want to be good and okay and not a jerk to people irl but I hate everything and everything sucks in my perception | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

genderkoolaid · 11 months

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okay, so, i keep seeing this take come up a lot from non-trans men and non-trans mascs, and it’s making me a bit uncomfortable. for background, i’m a trans man that writes smut for trans mascs, trans men, and non-binary folks. i write in fandom spaces so this is a strictly fandom basis and not irl basis

more and more often i keep seeing non trans men and non trans mascs saying “if you think mpreg is gross you’re just transphobic” without nuance and when i explain “hey, this maybe isn’t a good take to have since there’s a LOT of reasons people may be grossed out by mpreg (eg. dysphoria, how heavily fetishized it is in fandom spaces by non-trans writers, how it’s used to fetishize trans m characters, the person grossed out may be a closeted trans man or trans masc or don’t realize that the “gross” feeling is dysphoria, etc.)”, i get shouted down and told that i’m wrong. and it’s kind of making me question my own line of thinking.

i guess, i’m just looking for some perspective from trans men and trans mascs on this topic? if there is any? bc i honestly can’t tell if i’m having a knee jerk reaction to my own personal experiences with fetishization. idk if you do much with fandom spaces, but i also don’t really know where else to get perspective

I think there's an important difference between different interpretations of "finding mpreg gross." One interpretation is male pregnancy being a squick for people as individuals for a variety of reasons, such as dysphoria. But in the context of systemic transandrophobia, "gross" is describing the idea that male pregnancy is an obscene, disturbing fetish akin to guro, something that is objectively abnormal and inappropriate.

The reason why "mpreg is gross" is transphobic is because its based in the idea that a pregnant man is unnatural and wrong, and that pregnant men can only exist as a "fucked up" sexual fetish. People are incapable of being normal about male pregnancy in any context and will compulsively go "EWW mpreg is so weird and fucked up!!! is this omegaverse!!!" even when talking about real men's experiences or desires. Male pregnancy is seen as a joke, a kink, or a crime against nature, but never something normal, natural, neutral.

Feeling dysphoria around pregnancy for yourself isn't transphobic, and people can write/depict male pregnancy in ways that are uncomfortable. Personally, I don't like how a lot of people's first thought when it comes to male pregnancy is cis men getting pregnant, with trans men- men who can and do actually get pregnant- are an afterthought. Its annoying to see posts joking about "getting a man pregnant" where people immediately jump to "cis male mpreg," distancing transmascs from our own bodies' abilities & replacing us in the cultural mind with cis men. I don't think cis male mpreg is inherently bad, but there are valid criticisms to be made.

And while you are just talking about fandom stuff, I don't think we should entirely separate this from the wider treatment of pregnant men- who are constantly dehumanized irl, treated like walking freaks (I was just reading an article the other day where a trans father talked about being called "it" throughout his pregnancy, and this is not uncommon), and having their gender validity heavily scrutinized for using their "female anatomy" even though they "want to be a man," sometimes even from other trans people. The way mpreg is treated in fandom spaces does very little to counter this narrative- if anything, in my experience, it just adds that "dirty" connotation, where pregnant men aren't just freaks, their pregnancy must be inherently sexual and should be kept out of public spaces. And this really does not help the idea that trans people are groomers who shouldn't be around children- I have also seen transphobes fearmonger about transmasc fathers & their children & whether or not the children will be safe, or be able to grow up properly, or if they'll be traumatized because of their father.

This is all to say: I don't know exactly the contexts you've heard "saying mpreg is gross is transphobic" in, but to me, arguing against "mpreg = gross" is a necessary part of dealing with the objectifying & dehumanizing way we see male pregnancy discussed in fandom spaces. Male pregnancy should be just the same as female pregnancy. Its normal, its natural. Some people have fetishes relating to it. Some people are really disturbed by the idea of it happening to them. & while there are unique brands of misogyny directed at pregnant women, the image of a pregnant woman isn't treated like something inherently dirty and obscene the same way a pregnant man is. People finding male pregnancy strange or gross- not because of dysphoria or personal preference, but out of transandrophobia- is the status quo right now, and its important to counteract this by normalizing male pregnancy as A Thing Some Men Do.

#m.#ask box #male pregnancy

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invaderzia1 · 1 year

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sweaty online gamer bf scara? we finally meet irl? smut?!😙

I may have gone overboard but I’m having a lot of thoughts (also surprisingly little nsfw but I do have some coming I’m just having a tough time recently)

also modern au and sweaty gamer guy

okay but can you imagine, you’ve been talking to him for a long time online. you’ve been playing for so long that when you casually mentioned where you lived and realized y’all live close to each other it felt natural to meet up with him. sure, he’s a jerk online but he’s you’re friend too, so you wanted to give him a chance. putting in your cutest outfit and making sure you’re makeup looked good, you dashed out of your apartment to meet him at a cute cafe.

only to meet him and he’s dressed so casual and it doesn’t look like he’s showered in the past day or so. he barely even says hi to you either, just a small nod to acknowledge you before telling you you’re late. it’s awkward, he keeps checking his phone and showing you memes off of Twitter too. honestly, for as bad as it seems, you kind of enjoy being able to see his face in front of you. you start to pick up on small quirks of his. like how his face breaks out in a light pink flush every time you’re hand brushes up against his.

he keeps rattling off about the newest win he had in lol and how he’s the best player in the game. usually, people would walk out of the cafe after hearing how arrogantly he speaks, but you just sit and smile, listening intently. he’s honestly pretty cute too.

this becomes a weekly thing for you, meeting up at some cafe and hanging out in person. scara will groan about how you are taking away his precious time, but will never say no to you when you ask if he wants to meet up. he never tries to dress up for you, either. hell wear some already worn tee shirt and some old jeans at best, but something about it just works. this is seeing the real him.

and slowly it seems less like a hang out, more like a date. though, he would refuse to admit that. but when you reach across the table and hold his hand, he doesn’t pull away. he stutters through his sentence and blushes heavily, but he doesn’t try to pull away from your grasp.

when he finally invites you to his place, he ends up playing video games the entire time. claiming to show you how elite he is, but in actuality he’s way to flustered having you this close to him that he needs to distract himself. when he looks over his shoulder and sees you laying on his bed like you own it, his heart skips a beat. AND THEN, you start making fun of him for having a girl in his bed for the first time ever, and that he’s playing video games. honestly, he’s embarrassed but shoots a sarcastic remark back at you. but that doesn’t stop him from walking over and getting into bed next to your, asking if “you are happy yet”. what he doesn’t expect is for you to wrap your arms around him and nod yes. honestly he might think he took too many edibles last night and probably is in some sort of weed hallucination coma.

as he’s cuddled up to you, you realize two things, one is that he clearly hasn’t washed his sweatshirt in months (if not at any point since buying it) and two, try as he may to deny it, he’s enjoying having you pressed up against. you can tell immediately how much he enjoys having you right against him by the way his body betrays him. he almost like a cat in how he cuddles up against you, scolding you that he is wasting precious game time, yet his arms stay firmly wrapped around you with no intention to let go anytime soon.

he’s not exactly subtle with his touching (ahem, groping) either. at first you think maybe it was an accident, but by the fourth squeeze of your breast it’s pretty hard to deny what he’s doing. all you can do is giggle to yourself, causing him to roll his eyes and tell you off for being rude, not like he’s the one being a perv. you tell him if he wanted to touch he could have just asked, this is your sixth date. which makes him freeze as he realizes that these have been dates. then he gains his confidence to touch you more, rudely telling you how easy you must be to let him do this. you can only laugh at his over confidence and massive ego, but at least he finally has the courage to touch you now.

this unleashes a new side to him, now that you’ve opened that door he will always be touching you. any time he has you alone he is either grabbing at your chest or touching your ass. he’ll also have more courage to be more of a perv too. if he hasn’t seen you in a while, then he’ll text you for nudes. and he doesn’t ask nicely, will always try to brag that since he one his last round of lol he deserves it. if you ask for one back from him, he’ll scoff but send a poorly done dick pic that shows off his nasty gaming room. just give him some tips and you’ll be getting those videos of him smacking the tip on the camera and letting you hear his very soft moans. oh man, once he realizes you like his videos he will start sending more too, whenever he feels like it. so always watch out opening videos and snaps from him.

god just nasty gamer dude scara is so djxkkdkdsm

#genshin impact #maddy replies #maddy answers #anon #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche smut #genshin impact smut #wanderer smut

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velvetstreets · 2 years

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RED WINE.

Concept: Red Wine gets Jack in the mood… 👀

None of the people in my writings portray the actual people I write about! It’s all a work of fiction, I have no idea how they are/act irl.

Warnings: smut, exhibitionism, fingering (f!receiving), handjob, swearing, consumption of cum

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Red Wine. Red wine made Jack super horny and needy - a delicate combo for you to deal with. You saw it coming miles away when they started to serve it at the birthday dinner for DJ Drama you were at with Jack; but you didn’t want to protest it publicly and make a scene. You had hoped Jack would be realistic and remember his patterns, but you knew he didn’t care. He loved when he could express how much he wanted you, to you or to anyone else who was willing to listen.

You eyed him when he was on his third glass, his thumb circling the skin of your inner thigh by your knee. You tried to think nothing of it, but that changed when you felt his hand slip up your dress dangerously high. You kept your composure and smiled at the guests who sat across from you at the long table, discreetly placing a hand on top of Jack’s to get him to stop. He ceased his actions momentarily, letting you finally take your hand off of his to pick up your wine glass and moved it to your lips. His hand started to move again, sneaking up your thigh to press his middle finger on your clit, which was barely covered by the thin mesh material of your thong. You exhaled through your nose deeply, eyes having shut for a moment as you gulped the swig of wine you had taken, down your throat. Jack rubbed small circles on your clit, causing your thighs to squeeze together. He would stop moving every time he felt your thighs squeeze together, knowing it drove you crazy, but he wanted you to need him; so bad that you were willing to let him finger you under the table, in the presence of all these people at this intimate setting. Your hips jerked forward a little as he resumed his torture on your swollen clit.

“You good, baby?” Jack asked with a hint of teasing in his voice, as a few eyes had turned to you from your sudden movement.

“Mmhm.” You hummed, sitting the glass back down on the table, not confident that your voice would be able to form any real words at the moment. You were about to reach back down to your lap to remove Jack’s hand, but Jack was quicker, and plunged his two fingers into your slick pussy. Your eyes widened slightly and your manicured nails gripped the plush seat cushion of your chair.

“Fuck..” you softly moaned out, so quietly that Jack barely caught it. He dipped his head down so his lips were right by your ear.

“And now? Still feel just good, or better?” He whispered in his deep tone, lips brushing against your ear, making a shiver go up your spine in arousal.

“B-better, but Jack.. people-“ you started to protest, which only made Jack speed up his thrusts, the palm of his hand deliciously rubbing against and adding pressure to your clit as his fingers slipped in and out so effortlessly.

“I don’t care about them, I’m not trying to get them to cum, am I sweetheart?” Jack said, his sultry voice daring your eyes to roll back. His lips started licking and nipping at your neck - your eyes darted around the table with worry of being caught; but to your surprise, no one was paying attention to the two of you - either too drunk to notice or too into their own conversations to care.

“Jack-“ you started again before he cut you off.

“Pleaseee baby, need you bad… need to feel you, please- I just wanna make you feel good, wanna make you cum. Please let me y/n-“ he whined in your ear, kisses becoming sloppier against your neck.

“Fuck, okay Jack, do whatever-“ you groaned, giving in as usual to Jack’s needy self. You felt him smile against your neck before pulling away and giving you a smirk. You were about to say something until Jack inserted a third finger and managed to reach that spot at your core, as he turned his head and jumped back into conversation with Drama as if he wasn’t finger fucking the hell out of you right now.

You tried to control your breathing and composure, but every time you were about to try and listen to someone talking, Jack would bump his palm against your clit hard. You pressed your face into the back of Jack’s shoulder - knowing you couldn’t keep your moans in without some aid, as Jack curled his fingers, the pads of them rubbing against your gspot, quickening their pace as he knew you were going to cum soon. Your left hand gripped the arm he was using to finger you, and dug your acrylics into his dress shirt covered arm as you came.

Jack felt you press you face into his shoulder and heard the shaky breathe you let out.

“You tired Y/N?” Drama asked with a chuckle, noticing your dazed state with your head leaned against Jack.

Jack turned to look at you, his eyes a little more hazy and hooded from the wine he had continue to drink while simultaneously pulling an orgasm from you.

“Y’tired baby? We can leave soon, promise.” Jack said as if the events that had just occurred, never happened.

You picked your head off of Jack’s shoulder after a second and looked at the two men.

“Yeah I’m good, the wine’s making me a tad sleepy but we don’t need to leave just yet.” You said more to Jack than Drama, your voice barely covering how out of breathe you were as you rubbed your hand up and down his arm - his fingers still in you.

“Okay peanut, we’ll leave in 20.” Jack said sweetly, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead, keeping up his innocent act before continuing his conversation with Drama and a few other industry people. He then discreetly slipped his fingers out of you, causing you to bite your lip to keep from whimpering at the loss of fullness. Jack then took some whipped cream from the half eaten dessert plate in front of him, and lathered his fingers in it before slipping them into his mouth. Your cum and the whipped cream swirling in his mouth as he let out a soft hum, eyes never leaving yours.

“So sweet, you should try some babe.” He said teasingly. You blushed and picked your wine glass up and drank from it to hide your embarrassment. Jack chuckled as he went back to his conversation, leaving you frustrated.

You furrowed your eyebrows and internally huffed. He always did this. He loved to rile you up in public and make you look incriminating while he looked presentable and not completely fucked out like you did. You weren’t having it this time.

You slid your hands under the table, immediately unbuttoning and unzipping Jack’s pants before he could even try and stop you. You took one arm back out and held Jack’s arm, so it seemed as if you were just lovingly caressing him to onlookers.

You slid your hand under Jack’s briefs and began to slowly rub up and down his dick. Jack let out a shaky exhale as his hand tensed on your thigh.

“Y/N-“ he lowly whispered, his eyes starting to flutter.

“Yeah?” You asked innocently.

“Stop, not here-“ he mumbled before you leaned up and nibbled on his ear.

“But you were so kind, so I might as well return the favor baby. You feel so good Jack, so big…” you moaned in a velvety voice. You felt him shiver, and continued to stroke him, smearing the precum at his head with your thumb.

“C’mon J, go back to your boys convo, don’t leave them hanging.” You urged him, but Jack’s head remained hanging low, unable to tear himself away from the pleasure you were providing him.

“Keep talking to them or I’ll stop.” You threatened, knowing he was too far gone to let you stop- he needed to cum soon. Jack reluctantly turned back to the guys, holding a fist to his mouth as he tried to fight through the sensation you were bringing him. You continued stroking him, tightening your grip slightly as you quickened your pace. You felt his dick twitch and he finally came all over your hand, a few drops landing on the outside of his briefs. Jack came with a silent grunt against his fist, eyes screwed shut as he let his orgasm crash.

“Maaan, what is this, y’all are getting old on me and it’s my old ass’s birthday!” Drama teased Jack. Jack tried to laugh it off, giving him a small comment as his eyes were drawn to what you were doing. You had grabbed a napkin to wipe the cum off you hand and placed it in your lap, but you were still feeling mischievous, eyeing the soiled napkin in your lap. You reached for it and wiped your face as if you were getting rid of any food remnants on you face- but really you wiped Jack’s cum into your mouth, swallowing and licking your lips after you finished, never breaking eye contact with him.

Jack’s eyes were wide the entire time, filled with surprise and lust as he shifted in his seat. You smiled at him and zipped his pants back up. Drama’s head quirked at the sound before looking at Jack.

“This was great man, but we gotta dip. Happy birthday.” Jack said, quickly whipping his head to look at Drama before grabbing your hand and pulling you up out of your seat. Drama chuckled as Jack threw up a peace sign to everyone, and you quickly waved as Jack dragged you out of the building.

“Jack!” You squealed as he dragged you out to the parking lot, almost making you trip over your heels with how fast he was walking. You made it to the car and that was when he pushed you up against the passenger door.

“Fuck that was so goddamn hot maaaa, eating my cum at the table like that? For everyone to see? God I need you so bad-“ Jack groaned as he grinded his pant covered hard on against you.

“M’all yours, have your way with me handsome.” You moaned as your hands went to his curls, pulling him into a hot kiss.

“Shit bae, can’t wait any longer, need you bad babyyyy.” Jack whined against your lips and moved to bury his head in your neck, leaving hot opened mouthed kisses along your skin. Jack attempted to pick you up and hoist you against his hips, but proved to be too tipsy as he stumbled back and almost dropped you before you told him to let you down.

“Okay okay, backseat, less gooooo babe-“ he said slurring his words a little, the red wine taking it full affect as he smiled a lopsided smile at you.

You giggled and climbed into the back after Jack opened the door for you. He slapped your ass as you crawled in and you let out a small yelp as Jack chuckled. Jack stepped in and closed the door, quickly reaching over and pulling you onto his lap as he began to attempt to undress you while licking and biting your neck.

After the 4th attempt to unzip your dress he let out a loud frustrated whine, leaning his head against your chest, groaning your name in attempt to get you to help him.

“Okay bub, let’s do this at home.” You laughed and got off his lap.

“Noooo! Car sex baby, let’s have car sex it’s been so longggg” Jack protested, grabbing the end of your dress and tugging on it as you moved to sit in the drivers seat - seeing as Jack was more intoxicated than you.

“We’ll have car sex another time J, I promise, but for now let’s get home and do this in our bed, properly.” You compromised with him.

“Fineeee. Party pooper.” He moped as he clumsily got into the passenger seat. You couldn’t help but giggle at him, moping like a child.

“Seatbelt on?” You asked him as you started the ignition.

“Seatbelt on.” He huffed, still grumpy about missing out on car sex. You laughed and leaned over and kissed his cheek before pulling out of the parking lot and making your way towards Jack’s apartment.

It was only a 10 minute drive from the restaurant, but Jack quickly got over himself and started to rub your thighs again, his hand trying to sneak up your dress as he left kisses up your shoulder and sucking at your neck. You did your best by slapping his hand away and trying to get him to behave during the short ride, but it was no use.

“So so sexyyy in this dress angel, mmm just wanna feel you.” He groaned, his hands now rubbing your tits as you drove. He pulled at fabric covering your chest, attempting to suck on your breasts while you drove, but you swatted him away once again, not wanting your tits to be exposed to anyone else who drove by.

You finally turned the corner and drove into the parking lot of Jack’s apartment as he continued to fondle your breasts, whining about how hard his dick was and needed to be in you, with you squeezing him just how he liked.

“Almost there bub, c’mon, let’s get in the elevator.” You encouraged him as you helped him with his seatbelt before the two of you stepped out the car and made you way to the elevator.

Once the doors closed, Jack couldn’t keep his hands off you. They roamed up and down your back, settling on your ass with a firm squeeze as he sloppily kissed you - tongues a mess and lips swollen by the time the elevator dinged, signaling you were at your floor.

Jack turned and looked at you with a devious smile.

“Finally.” He said before eagerly pushing you out the elevator and into his apartment to continue what was a sensual hot session between you two.

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Tag list: @hoodharlow @moody4world @watercolorskyy @lcandothisallday @harlowthot @triplexdoublex @thinkingaboutjharlow @bbyharlow @jackharlows-world @primadxna-girl @curlyhairclub @dessmxsworld @inluvwithladybug @babyharleezy @thysagclub

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x you #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow smut #jack harlow x y/n

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yuurei20 · 1 year

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Idia Info Compilation Part 5: Idia and Ortho (no Book 6 spoilers)

In Book 5 Ortho is introduced to us as the brother that Idia brought with him when he enrolled in NRC, and we learn that he brings Ortho to most of his classes, having received permission from the Headmage to do so.

(In a vignette Idia refuses to leave his room despite Riddle’s insistence because “Ortho is out right now, and if I gotta talk to people IRL and go to meetings and stuff…I don’t think I can solo that!”, insinuating that Idia prefers to have Ortho on hand when he goes outside.)

Ortho insists that it is not because Idia is “desperately lonely”. We also learn that Ortho is not technically a student at NRC, but is considered one half of a student with Idia himself, just like Grim and the player character.

Ortho seems to have a thing for “creating memories” (between Idia and “his current self”) and about getting Idia to participate in school activities, even sending Idia off alone in the Harveston event.

(Idia invited himself and Ortho to Harveston so that he might visit locations that had been featured in an anime series he enjoyed).

Ortho is the motivation for a lot of Idia’s outdoor activitieslike the star-sending event and the opening ceremonies, in order to not disappoint him. Idia fails to follow through with the opening ceremonies, however, spooked by an interaction with Malleus and going back to his room.

Idia’s vignette ends with him saying “Ortho would’ve been really sad to seem me like that, too. So this is a good thing! I’m sure Ortho’s having a great time at orientation all by himself…Yeah, this was for the best. The best…" …but there is overlap with Ortho’s vignette, which ends with Ortho outside of Idia’s closed bedroom door, apologizing for forcing him to go outside, saying, “I just wanted to be together. But I made you sad. I’m such a jerk. We can just hang out here, like we always do. That’s the best. It’s okay. I’ll always be with you.”

In a vignette Idia says, “I wonder what I was trying to accomplish...installing the latest medical tools in you now can’t change the past…I mean, it was originally me, who…” but Ortho responds, “I like how handy this body is. I can do lots of stuff regular people can’t!”

#twstfacts #idiafacts #twisted wonderland #Idia Shroud #twstidia

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rpedia · 2 months

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Anonymous asked: Idk, why. But every time I rp as a guy I sometimes feel uncomfortable or just bored. Especially when it comes to canon characters, I feel like I'm just satisfying my parthers otp/ships with their oc's. And when I try to bring in my others oc's, they're ignored. This happens almost every time with any other person. Do you have any advice?

Usually there’s a reason for stuff like this, so lemme jump to the biggest most extreme conclusion and get that outta the way. If you’re uncomfortable exclusively by the act of playing a gender, or thinking like a gender, and acting like a gender, and feel like you’re just playing a role with no connection to specifically a gender and nothing else... Maybe you don’t want to play/be/act as that gender? I mean, it could be anything setting you off, but this is important to point out, especially with your wording, subconscious though it may be. You don’t have to RP as a guy. It’s okay. Be anything you want, that’s what RP is for. To have fun, and be comfortable, and do what feels good to you. There’s no shame in just saying no to RPing anything. Settings, characters, genders, themes, tropes, even just roleplaying if you’re not in the mood! Roleplay is, again, for fun, and you should probably communicate that you’re no longer having it. That you want to explore other options. I mean this could be as simple as you don’t have chemistry with those partners, to as complex as realizing you may not have a real connection to a specific gender... even IRL.

Like, I’m not gonna lie, I have seen a large number of people who have realized they identify as something else because they’ve played other genders, tried out the ol’ mental space with RP, and found something that fit them better. Might not be applicable to you, that’s fine. This is a deeply personal decision though, I’m just pointing it out as an aside because some people need that little push to go ‘oh’ and this answer is going to be an open letter to everyone who is in this situation as usual. So hey, it doesn’t have to be too serious, and if questioning your labels isn’t your speed, no issue. Just thought it was wise to point it out, rather than ignore it and pretend it didn’t set off a tiny alarm in my head saying ‘hang on a sec’. So yes, with that out of the way— Of course that’s not the only reason things might feel ‘off’! Like I mention above, there’s plenty of other things, so now that we have a quick ‘I’d be a jerk if I didn’t say this does happen’ out of the way, let’s explore things like chemistry, and why your characters don’t resonate with you personally, but end up seeming to be more for your partner in crime over there. AKA: Playing for other people, and why it doesn’t really work out.

So when you RP a character and they don’t sync with you personally? That’s a big thing buddy! That’s a sign you’re not playing what you love or vibe with. That doesn’t seem like something you should get upset about, we all do stuff that we feel pretty neutral or vaguely bored by for friends and family, but it really really can be draining over time. Playing something deeply out of your personal experience is a fun challenge, but I would never say do that for a long term if you’re not getting comfortable as you do it. You can burn yourself out, by pushing too hard and making so much work for yourself you lose the thread of fun supposedly throughout all RP.

Me? I have trouble with happy, perky characters. I can do it, and I do it well judging by the reaction of people around me, but it just doesn’t feel right. It feels like someone is very slowly spreading me thinner and thinner trying to react against my natural instincts. I know it’s actually another problem that some people feel like they play too many similar characters, but that’s a natural inclination to play something that suits you, so you can give your full attention to the details surrounding that character instead of questioning everything you do.

Being able to act on auto pilot helps a ton when you want to focus on the important parts, like the plot instead of figuring out how this character would feel if it’s not what you kneejerk understand. Second guessing is hard! As anyone who deals with second guessing everything they do all day: it leads to exhaustion because it’s an extra hidden layer of emotional labor.

So! Why are dudes uncomfortable for you? We’ve got an obvious problem here that an external force (your RP buddies over there) may have trained you to believe that you only have one purpose. That male characters are romance fodder, and have to fall in love with an OC. That your OC’s aren’t important. That’s gonna be a whoooole different problem right there. This is a problem with your RP partner, who is using you to fulfill their happiness. There’s a huge problem with the power dynamic in this OOC relationship, just going by this little snippet.

Your partner should never make you feel like you’re only roleplaying for their sake.

I’m leaving that line all alone so you can really look at it, and reread it. I’m going to say it again in fact: Your partner should never make you feel like you’re only roleplaying for their sake. There’s various reasons why that’s icky, but I’ll just touch on what stands out to me most. One of those things is that this makes roleplaying a job.

Instead of letting yourself explore the mind of a character you enjoy, you’ve come to expect that you will follow a certain order of things, and that your job is to fill the emotional labor required of your partner to keep them happy. They respond to you requesting similar emotional labor (which in a healthy relationship should be give-and-take) by ignoring you. This is painful for you, maybe not like getting pinched, but feeling like what you’ve made isn’t good enough? That you’re not good enough by extension because our RP kids are totally extensions of ourselves? That’s unfair. Unfair to you.

However! Even if something seems to be a pattern, like not playing dudes, it’s always good to test run characters from all walks of life. Any character couldn’t be the exception to or that your mood could change. That means, don’t feel guilty if you’ve said “this label doesn’t feel right” for a while, and then you have an exception. It just means it’s an exception, you’re fine. You’re not breaking your own rules, you’re learning more about what works with you.

Finding yourself at a loss with OC’s or characters you enjoy may point to your environment being one that’s hostile to new things. They don’t understand an OC, there’s no blueprint giving them an idea of what to expect. OC’s are also one of the easiest ways for players to get into the game, which means newbies who lack social graces tend to gravitate towards them because ‘there’s no rules to break’ in how they portray them. Unfortunately since they don’t know how to approach others in socially appropriate ways, this gives OC’s a reputation for being awful to play with. They break etiquette, they push too hard, they don’t get why someone may be backing away. This isn’t the OC’s fault, it’s the player, but it’s seen more in OC’s because of ease-of-entry. So... they gain a reputation.

That means approaching on an OC is definitely going to come with people looking for standard red flags, and they’ll need to see you in action long enough to get comfortable with you! You have to be stellar in everything to get attention, and you have to have a hook. Your character has to be stand-out, interesting, and fun. Something people get grabbed by the summary of, so they can emotionally attach to it the same way they did major series, which give a character time to come out of their shell, and audiences time to connect to them. That’s why canons are popular: They bought the time it took to get under people’s skin by having a plot to follow. Without that, OC’s are like hearing about a character from another fandom you’re not interested in.

There’s also, unfortunately, an online beef against the ladies in plot. I’m not gonna sugar coat it, people have gotten it into their heads that girls being roleplayed tend to be shallow, vapid characters designed just for romance. So it can be hard to egt people interested because of stereotypes. The worst part is, I see this stereotype most often from male writers playing women, who have no idea hoiw to treat them as a person, and have instead made them a cardboard cut out designed to reach their goals. This is even worse on adult websites where smut is an option, ladies get the short stick SO often because of years where female characters have been treated as a plot device.

This goes way back to the idea of a sexy lamp: If your female character can be replaced with a sexy lamp, they aren’t expanded enough on. They aren’t a person. Some of the strongest female characters have been, say, Ripley from Alien. Why? She was a male character in the script, they just didn’t change anything but her gender and rolled with it. Which, duh, worked because women is people. A wild concept for some reason. Can you tell this is something that gets my goat, because baaaa, motherfucker, baaaa.

That means you end up working against a lot of shit to just try and play around and have fun. It can be exhausting, and more than once I’ve seen people give up. Don’t, though. People need to hear your voice. If you’re in a position where things are hard, remember. Trying the same things over and over expecting it to change is just silly. You need to change parts of your approach, whether it be the environment, the people, or simply how you word things. Push back on what’s making you feel bad, and put down boundaries. “If I do this, I would appreciate if you gave back with this.” Ask for space, you deserve space to explore what makes you happy. Say no more often to things you’re not comfortable with. You don’t have any obligation to fit a mold for another person.

Find your comfort zone, and defend it. If that means moving onto a new group of people, or just doing something extraordinary with what you have, or finding a new way to approach stuff, then maybe that’s what you need to do! Spread your wings, and find what makes you happy. Don’t look for advice on how to tamp yourself down into what you feel like you should be doing, if it’s not right for you. Good luck, and Happy RPing!

#RPedia #roleplay #roleplay help #roleplaying tips #rph #anonymous #Ask Rpedia #gender dysphoria #misogyny #OC hate #Big topics for a little question #I know #Especially when the advice boils down to #don't do thing if hurt #do other thing #with new people if needed

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maccreadysbaby · 11 months

Note

Make me like Deacon 🔫

ooooooooooohhhhkay?

the bottom line is, i can’t make anybody like a character, and i don’t intend or expect this post to blast through the web and change tons of minds. these are just things i can point out to maybe shift some of the ways they see him. personally, i love deacon, but i totally get if someone thinks his build is boring, or he’s a douchebag, or whatever. everyone is entitled to their own opinions and i actually couldn’t care less who likes him or not, they’re opinion doesn’t effect me. IM JUST ANSWERING MY ASKS AND BEING A GOOD LITTLE CONTENT CREATOR.

Lets Make You (maybe) Like Deacon🔫: A Rant

Let’s debunk the top three reasons everyone hates Deacon, shall we?

(these are all legit arguments i’ve heard against him)

1) He’s a liar

okay, well, i get where you’re coming from. liars ain’t fun people to hang around irl.

don’t think about it so much as “he doesn’t want to tell me the truth” and think about it more as “the truth hurts so he hides from it”

whether what we know about him is true, it’s obvious deacon has been through lots of crap. everyone in the commonwealth has. the number one way humans seem to deal with trauma, at least in the beginning, is to freaking ignore it. hide it. shove it away until it’s far enough that you forget about it for now. that’s way easier than getting help, or spilling it to someone else.

deacon is a lot of things, but one of the largest is scared. no matter what happened to him in the past, whether it was barbara or not, it clearly messed him up enough to make him insanely careful about who he trusts. plus, if he wanted to deceive you, why would he give you the recall code and then pester you about it until you look at it? if he so openly wanted to twist your mind, why would he so easily say “ah, you got me” after confronting him in a lie? why would he lie about these ridiculous, absolutely could-not-happen things instead of being cunning and using small, believable lies to build his front?

it’s because the whole thing is a wall to hide his pain, the truth of his trauma, and trauma is universal. everybody deals with it differently. playing as the sole survivor, who definitely has some canon trauma, it’s kinda hypocritical to go around murdering and killing to find your son, to ease your pain, then turn around and shame deacon for lying to try and ease his. after all, isn’t everyone in the commonwealth just trying to stop pain to some degree? why should deacon get shamed for the way he does it but not sole?

hating deacon for things sole canonically does? strike one.

2) He doesn’t have morals

okay, well, if you’ve traveled with deacon in any capacity, you’ll learn that he has very strong morals. i really dont even know how this argument can stand, but i’ll debunk it anyways.

first and most obvious is his loyalty to the railroad. if you strip deacon’s morals down to the core, it’s just “protect the innocent from those who want to harm them”. whether he’s making up for being in the deathclaws or not, he’s protecting the synths who want to live a normal, peaceful life. and if you’re thinking “yeah he protects them by MURDERING” well, yeah, but sole ends up murdering at least one or two factions at the end of each game to protect another, so… strike two.

secondly, he will leave you if you go off the rails. if he didn’t have morals, he wouldn’t. he leaves if you harm the innocent, if you murder. if you willingly attack those who don’t deserve it. and he isn’t even a jerk about it! he’s just like “our styles are opposite” and “i’ll have to fly solo again” opposed to maccready who curses at you at lowest affinity. which is also a sign of his very tangible morals.

3) He’s the same as every other dead wife man

yes, he is. but you can’t hate the character for a writers screw up. the dead wife build is a common one with bethesda. the one thing that separates him from the rest is the fact that we don’t actually know if his is true or not, but if you hold his last affinity dialogue to be true, than yes. he’s just another dead wife man running from his past. so, hate the stereotype, not the character. he didn’t ask to be a dead wife man.

in terms of him, in game — the dead wife thing is probably common in the wasteland. dead spouses and significant others would, unfortunately, be very common in a post-apocalyptic situation. as much as it sucks to come across the same bad character build every five minutes, you can’t fault them for accuracy. it would be extraordinarily easy to walk into any bar in the commonwealth and come across handfuls of people whose spouses are dead. the sole survivors spouse is dead. strike three, you’re out.

#fallout four #fallout 4 #fallout #fo4 deacon #fo4 #deacon fallout 4 #fallout deacon #deacon fo4 #railroad #sole survivor #sosu

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anti-dazai-blog · 8 months

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hello! It's been a while but can I just say thank you?? 💗 jsjsjs ahahaha idk if you remember me but you gave me advice on sharing controversial opinions + when I made my first "analysis" post (if it can be called that), you were literally the first one to like to it. and that was like. seconds after i posted.

anyways just wanted to say thank you and also that you're an inspiration lol ✨

yuhhh I don't follow your main but I see you 👀 and ahaha you being so participative (if that's the right word?) or good at/enjoying debates encouraged me to do the same/be more outspoken in school and say things no one's brought up.

that's all, ya don't have to reply to this, i jus wanted to let you knoww

hello, it’s great to hear from you again!!

[disclaimer, I’m about to go on a rant about general social communication, so I gotta preface all this with When I say “opinion” I mean harmless personal or media-related opinion. Not political stuff.]

Listen. Ok. Listen to me for a quick second. I’m a communications major so I gotta infodump on you real quick.

In communication studies, there’s a concept called the “spiral of silence” theory. It states that people will tend to withhold opinions that they consider “unpopular” out of fear of social ostracism. Because of this, the most popular opinions gain popularity, while unpopular opinions die out and disappear.

This doesn’t mean that there isn’t a sizable amount of people who hold the unpopular opinions, it just means that they aren’t discussed properly. Everyone enters conversations with these secret biases and thoughts, which contribute to their viewpoint.

It would be easier for everyone if people were able to mention their unpopular views right from the start, so we could all be on the same page and understand where people are coming from with their viewpoints. It shouldn’t be taboo to like something others hate, or to dislike something others love.

But there’s nothing to be done about it. It’s a social and psychological principal that most people tend to avoid social ostracism. Key word “most”.

The standard counter for the spiral of silence theory is that there will always be people who, for whatever reason, are immune to it. Either because in that given moment they consider it okay or safe to say what they’re thinking, or because they’re a public figure who trusts their fans will support them no matter what (think of celebrities talking about weird food combinations they enjoy, which an average middle school girl would be mocked and bullied if she were caught eating), or because they have nothing to lose.

In my case it’s the latter— it won’t have any effect on my life if tumblr thinks my opinions suck. I don’t know if I’d have the same confidence to go to an anime conversation and say “heyyyy ya know Dazai? From hit animanga bungo stray dogs? Yeahhhh he’s kinda a jerk isn’t he?” [also that wouldn’t be the time or place to have that conversation, but that’s besides the point]

But regardless. Ya gotta start somewhere. It’s a good skill to have, to be able to break the spiral of silence. It’s very difficult to start, but once you get going with it, it’ll definitely be a great skill to have for life.

I’m so incredibly proud of you for not only finding the courage to post whatever opinions you want (it’s difficult! It’s scary!), but for also being outspoken on your thoughts irl. You may not realize it yet, but chances are some of your classmates agree with your views and are finding both comfort and courage in you being able to articulate them openly.

AGAIN just gotta cover my bases This Isn’t About Politics.

Just to reiterate— hate speech gets you taken out back and shot. By me personally. Slurs and racist stuff gets your house burned down with you still inside it (also by me personally). So if anyone’s out there thinking of reblogging this for your weird racism agenda. Don’t.

#Anti dazai asks #im just. SO into talking about my major.#I know I don’t talk about it much (or at all) on tumblr #But irl? I am insufferable.#I fangirl over historical PR stunts #PR my beloved #Ok im gonna stop talking about this now So sorry for the rant guys I know you did’t click on this blog for that

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vacantgodling · 7 months

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oof okay. i didn’t think i would have to make a post talking about it but this may be my general blanket statement about it and hopefully i don’t need to make a hard and fast rule about this topic (for myself).

generally speaking, idgaf if minors follow me. i used to yeah—and i used to try and censor my blog and shit i posted because i knew i had, essentially, kids following me (why they were, no fucking idea but that’s the main reason i deleted my old blog and made this new one here because i was getting so stressed out about it) and i just didn’t want to be held responsible for “exposing them to shit” or something like that.

however. like. it’s my space, it’s my area, and i was (before) making myself miserable worrying about fucking children so i decided that i’m just not gonna do that anymore. and generally speaking, since making this blog i haven’t. when i was a teen, i followed and interacted with adults on the internet and i was fine. and i know i have some followers/mutuals/friends that i’ve known since they were younger and i didn’t feel weird about talking to them or anything. it’s good for kids to have outside adults to talk to etc etc but that’s not why i’m making this post.

basically, i’m making this post to say: if you are going to be a teenager/young adult (like 16-19) and you decide to follow me i need you to understand that i’m an adult, i talk about adult things (not just sex btw i mean just like. i’m for the exploration of dark topics in media and it will show up in my work occasionally) and that is your responsibility to navigate.

basically what i’m saying is, and bless this person’s heart. i just had a young teen/adult gimme a follow. and usually when people follow me, i do a quick scroll check to see what they post, if i want to follow back, etc etc. but the first post i saw on their blog was them rbing a very… shall we say young and on the internet opinion against a nuanced post that i personally rbed on my side blog myself without the take that this person rbed on it. just as a tldr the original post said basically “dark topics in media should exist and can be a tool to help people know what it looks like and identify it in real life so they can be able to navigate and stop this shit from happening irl.” like. a basic sentence and take (to me). this is obviously not saying you Have to go seek out media that makes you uncomfortable to read it if you don’t want to, but i’ve seen the notes on that post and i’ve seen and heard people talk about how having access to media that discussed their situation helped them themselves either come to grips with it, or to identify that it was happening or happened to them. it’s a nuanced take, and it’s one that i (personally) agree with.

yet the comment they rbed is the usual argument you see from someone who is not able to think about a situation broadly. the standard “oh well i’ve experienced csa before so i don’t need to see what it looks like” which again, tapping the sign, this is not for you then, and you don’t have to read books that explore those topics if you don’t want to. but the fact of the matter is: you aren’t going to know what everything looks like that is the breadth of the human experience—positive, or negative. shutting yourself off from potentially experiencing it via reading (a safe place) isn’t going to help you help anyone or have a complete understanding or opinion about it aside from this knee jerk reaction which is the antithesis of the post. and when all you (the person i’ve blocked btw. idk if it’s hard or soft and i don’t care really) have to add to this conversation via tags is “oh op probably made this post to justify jerking it to mha porn” then i need you to understand you are too young to be following me.

i trust people to make their own decisions. but i don’t really understand when people follow me and then have opinions like this. (hell there’s a lot of people who follow me where i don’t understand Why because it doesn’t seem like what i write would be in their wheelhouse but i can’t and won’t police people from reading my shit if they want to) however when i see stuff like this especially coming from a youngin’ i just don’t want to deal with that. because i know one day i will probably post or talk about something nuanced and i don’t want to invite a potential “callout” or “cancel culture” or freak out in my notes or argument in my inbox i’m just not doing it.

so at this time i’m not making a rule that i don’t want minors/youngins following me, again, i don’t care, but if you are going to like please please please actually understand when you don’t need to be following an adult with opinions that make you uncomfortable for your own sake.

#psa #about renjamin

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curiouschaosstarlight · 5 months

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(*Quick clarification, 'cause I feel like I should say this right away, I don't mind people not liking or even being really uncomfortable with certain characters, especially villains that have canonically done some really horrible stuff, even if I happen to really love the character in question! It's all in the Handling of the topic, and someone that's like "oh they're just not my cup of tea" or just don't want to talk about the character at all 1000000% has my respect and appreciation <3)

-claps-

So.

On the topic of demonizing characters that have violent or angry responses to their trauma

The thing about it that really gets my goat is the fact that I as a person have had anger problems ever since I can remember. I've had a pretty bad mix of anxiety and anger problems due to being traumatized, and have had to work really, really hard to get my knee-jerk temper under control, and really nothing fucks you up like thinking you're "fixed" but the reality winds up being you just were in a state of "nothing too stressful's happened lately" and then when things start getting incredibly stressful again, you realize you still have more work to do and you have to watch yourself way more than you thought.

I'm still not "fixed", and, after talking extensively with a therapist, I'm kind of just going to have to be okay with that; still trying to do right by the people I care about and not be an asshole about things, but I'm just going to have to live with the fact that in response to high anxiety and high stress, I become an angry person, and I'm not always going to be able to remember to take a step back from a situation when I feel myself getting heated (my success rate in this is going up at least)

So It Really.

Really.

Bothers Me.

When fandom tries to claim that a character isn't traumatized, or isn't traumatized enough, because their response to that trauma is to be violent and angry and malicious. And when they try to claim that because a character reacted this way, they're just evil and irredeemable and have no further depth to them, and any attempt to add depth (even canonical depth) to them is "wrong (and a sign the person doing it is an Abuser/Terrible Person irl)" or is "woobifying them".

And yeah. Part of what bothers me is that I tend to fall very hard for villain/antagonist characters that handle trauma badly, or otherwise have signs that they probably have some trauma they haven't exactly worked through, especially when that villain character gets to have a redemption arc. (And I do NOT mean that as "they cast away everything they were before and completely denounce and despise who they used to be and go through the whole repent and penance number". Give me more villain characters who are TRYING, who are STRUGGLING, who have conflicted feelings, who aren't an entirely new person and shouldn't be left to just wallow in self-hatred over it because!! no one!! deserves!! to wallow in self-hatred!! I want redemption arcs in the form of "person who did wrong is doing their best to be a better person" and NOT "character needs to suffer and be heartbroken and sad and unable to move on forever", I hate when I see people writing the latter shit, Idc what the character canonically did, no one who's genuinely trying deserves to be perpetually miserable and it is Highkey Concerning to see that attitude happen again and again) Plus, I LOVE media and character analysis, it is MY JAM, and.

Yeah.

I've got a lot of feelings that go into this kinda stuff. It's why when I see "no nuance!! just evil!!!"-type takes, that shit really boils my blood.

And is also why I don't actively participate in fandom anymore.

Like, yeah, I make some posts here and there. And I'd love to interact more with like-minded people -- I really love talking to others about characters and media and ships and all that good stuff!!

But I don't go searching for fandom stuff unless it's some art in a completely different language. After my last two fandoms went absolutely horrifically for me in two different ways, I think my trust in modern fandoms is just gone, and I don't think it's coming back.

There's only so many times a person can be told they're inherently evil (indirectly) or badwrong and stupid (directly) for a simple fucking opinion over goddamn fiction of all things.

#chaotic rants #my fandom in 2020 was the absolute worst btw #there was a lot of shit that happened there but the 1 incident that i was violently remembering mid-type #was how someone was writing a 'redemption arc' for my favorite character but #insisted and assured everyone that the character in question was NOT going to ever be happy and was just going to be miserable #and go through the pain of being a better person just FOR that pain because that's all they deserved #and. yeah. kinda hard to vibe with that #people kept talking about that AU like i should love it because i love that character #and was frustrated with everyone else always just killing or maiming the character in their shit #(or sticking them with their abusive parent and calling that 'deserved punishment' for their crimes)#(THAT one really fucks me up)#and im just like...#i dunno how to put into words how hurtful that is to me as both a lover of the character AND #as a person that has done some hurtful things in the past #bc i was a pretty fucked up teenager and it took a while for me to admit i dont get to do whatever i want #to whomever i want #just because i feel hurt and wronged #nothing like sitting there and being told you ARE your worst actions and deserve endless suffering forever bc of it

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twst-the-night-away · 1 year

Text

SSR Birthday Girl (Juniper)

[ card by @the-trinket-witch featuring original art and game assets ]

Happy birthday to the starry-eyed coyote of Savanaclaw! Send Juniper your well-wishes and presents today!

Voice lines under the cut:

When Summoned: The stars are aligned perfectly today for a great party!

Summon Line: All my friends are here, there's so much great food, and I'm even getting presents? Today's gonna be so much fun! I can smell it in the air.

Groovy: Let's party till the moon comes out!

Home: This moon pin was a gift from my parents! My dad works with metal, so he probably made it himself.

Home Idle 1: My family didn't throw big birthday parties. We just had a special dinner that the birthday person got to choose. Of course, food's always a good present!

Home Idle 2: This fancy outfit's not really my style, but it gets me a lot of attention. Lots of people have wished me a happy birthday. It's been fun!

Home Idle 3: Ruggie-senpai promised to make jerk chicken for my birthday. I can smell it cooking now ... aahhh, I'm getting hungry!

Home Idle - Login: My grandpa says the first constellation a coyote sees on their birthday is a sign for how their year will go. But you can't tell anyone which one you saw. I'm not good with secrets.

Home Idle - Groovy: Ahh, it's nice to have a party that's all about me! Usually I'm chasing down my little brothers at big family gatherings.

Home Tap 1: My gaming buddy Gloomurai gave me a rare item last night. He said it was a birthday gift. I wish I could thank him IRL someday.

Home Tap 2: Joker made me a great big mango mousse cake, and Punch brought his ukulele to lead everybody in a birthday song! The Carder twins are just so sweet.

Home Tap 3: Jack was so formal when he handed me his gift. I think he was kind of embarrassed. I can't imagine why ... but I'm glad he acknowledged me.

Home Tap 4: I got so excited opening the high-end running shoes Leona-senpai gave me, I started howling! I couldn't tell if he was annoyed or amused ...

Home Tap 5: Diamond-senpai stopped by to give me some fancy Shaftlands jerky for my birthday. We're always trading spicy snacks!

Home Tap - Groovy: Littlebear-senpai said something really nice to me when he saw me this morning ... but Sherwood-senpai turned it into a joke.

Birthday Login Message: Hey, you made it! Now that you're here, we can really party! It might be my birthday, but I want everyone to have a good time, okay?

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #daisy's ocs #juniper moon #twst oc birthday #twst oc card

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mayhem-moth · 5 months

Note

Abt the 70 horrible questions

Answer all the ones you're comfortable answering (aka do all of the numbers except the ones you're not comfy doing)

*HEAVY BREATHING*

OKAY LET'S DO THIS

1.I hate my dad. Love my mom

2.Probably one of my friends

3.Yes. i regret a lot of things

4.yee. i have things that i like about myself though. I think it's just easier to name bad stuff

5.single exactly how i like it i am vibing fr

6. Something funny or unexplainable. Be on a podcast kinda death

7.icecream :3

8.only the ones I was forced to for PE.

9.yee

10.never. as a kid i used to roughhouse with my brothers a lot though

11.Nope :D

12.no only around 24 unfortunatly :(. Let me find an excuse to change that!

13. My dad.

14. My cat. My friends i had to leave when i moved... and my dad? Or at least feeling like having a dad i guess?

15.two kimtys ones mine :3

16. Normal?

17. Nope :D

18. Kinda. Irl they give me heebie jeebies but as i grow older i get more amd more fascinated with them

19. NOPE IM NOT RISKING SCREWING ANYTHING UP NOSIREE TO MUCH PRESSURE

20. Nowhere :D

21. Uhhh exist? I barely knkw what im doing tommorow other than school ngl

22. Nope!

23. Got my ears pierced as a baby so two

24. Art related subjects. Anything else is a matter of chance

25. ^ people mentioned previously. Not really my dad persay it's complicated

26. Water. I should probably drink water

27.uhhhmmm that's pretty subjective? Im confident i have dissapointed a lot of people before

28. Nope. Can't be cheated on if you've never been in a relationship!

29. Nope ^^^^

30. THIS MATH ARGH!!!

31. My mom, my cat, my brothers, and my friends!

32. BLUE GREEN AMD PURPLE!!!

33. I don't trust a lot of adults. I've been lied to a lot. And i've come to realize that i really can't trust a lot of the adults i was told i was supposed to trust as a kid. Turns out someone cam appear nice but can actually be quite a jerk!! :DDD Funny how that works!!

34. I don't member /:

35. Mabye my mom when she yelled at me? It's been several months since i've actually cried

36. I don't know. I think i used to.

37. Forget

38. NOOOOOHHHHH. But these couple months have been quite nice!! I made a lot of friends!!^^

39. No age. Not in that context. Never been into that stuff i guess

40. Nope. Mabye if i was little baby or toddler that i can't remember

51(skips?). Whatever im in the mood for i just like food ngl

52. No. I think everythings unpredictable. I think good people can get hurt for no reason and bad people get good things for no reason.

53. Be on tumblr

54. Im sure there is contexts where it could be. Situations get complicated and I don't know everything.

55. I hope not I try to be nice. There have definitely been points in my life where i have acted mean though.

56. 0 but im slowly becomeing more and more willing to change that :)

57. No. But im not sure im one to talk ngl. Dunno what that feels like

58. Rain. And cloudy weather

59. In some contexts

60. No i want to be left alone

61. No never call me that.

62. Making stuff. My frens.Tumblr. My cat. The fam.

63. Don't think so. I like my name.

64. It's very hard to kiss nonexistence yes. Unless your talking about kissing my cat's forehead in which case no.

65. Reject nicely. Hope for the best

66. Think so probably on tumblr

67. My teacher probably. Mabye someone on tumblr

68. My mother :3

69. I don't know mabye :/

70. I would die for a lot of people it's hard to keep track!

I FUCKING DID IT!! LETS GO!!!!!!

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theglitchywriterboi · 8 months

Text

Okay, I've never told this story before, mostly cause the kink in question has A LOT of discourse [NOTE: I don't have an issue w/ the kink myself, but I don't participate in it anymore] & I don't want people focusing on that part [when I was a dumb kid who didn't understand what the kink was or even what kink was].

Also parts of this story are just cringe & :/// & it's like embarrassing to share-

Okay so-

I was 14 & this dudes FRIEND messaged me [I was on those teen dating tumblr pages for context. Also it was a page for ddlb [or ddlg, cgl, mdlb, mdlb, etc] for teens] asking if it was okay for him to message me. Allegedly he saw my post on said friends tumblr & liked me, but didn't have tumblr himself, so he asked his friend to message me on kik - which he had. So idk why his friend messaged me on kik instead of him messaging me, but I digress. [But now that I think about it, I don't think either of them SAID "He doesn't have tumblr" so he might've had one]

She was like "My friend saw your post & wanted to know if you wanted to talk ?"

So I was like "Sure, whats his kik ?"

An important thing to note is my age range was 14-15 MAYBE 16, since I was 14 & didn't want to talk to people older than me. Also I expressed several times I was strictly SFW & didn't want to be I'm a polyam relationship.

Okay, back to the story.

So I message him & was like "Hey is this [him] ? [His friend] gave me your kik. Sorry if this is the wrong person

IMMEDIATELY after confirming he is that guy, he is like "So are we dating ?" Like ?!?! Mind you I don't know this guys age, anything about him, etc

So I was like "Uh we just started talking- How old are you ? Where are you from ?" & he said his age: 17 [Seventeen]. [He also gave his location, but that doesn't matter]

Again, I made it clear I preferred someone 14-15 MAYBE 16

But I was 14 & had no backbone so I decided to give it a shot.

After giving his age he asked if we were dating AGAIN, & I was anxious, so I was just kinda like "Sure".

Now a lot happened, so here are the major things:

-Tried to pressure me into getting a third, then when I agreed & we found someone, he lashed out at them [apparently the third in question had a BF [somehow he found out but I didn't ?] & the BF was chill w/ him having a second dom [me] but not anyone else. Idk]

-Pressured me into sexting [again, after me expressing wanting to be SFW only]. It basically went

Him: "Pllzzzzz"

Me: "No I'm not comfortable w/ that"

Him: "Please"

Me: "No"

Then back & forth until I relented

-Weirdly got upset that I roleplayed having a dick & was really hung up on the fact I didn't IRL [he knew I was trans but he was like "But you have a pussy ://"]

-Tried to pressure me into sending nudes/videos of me masturbating [basically went the same as the sexting - I'd say no, he begged, I'd say no again. BUT the GOOD news is my dumbass couldn't figure out how to take pics/vids of that, so I didn't send any [Thank fucking god] & eventually he dropped it]

-Again I was the hhh dom :/// so he'd have me stay up late writing him bedtime stories

-Sent me a video of himself jerking off w/o me asking [& we weren't like sexting]

& probably other stuff I'm forgetting.

I was so much of a pushover, I had to send an ask to a DDLB account I followed at the time [idk the account] basically explaining the situation & asking "Is this enough to break up over ?" [Hint: You don't need a reason to break up. If you aren't happy, that's reason enough to leave. But even more so if the relationship distresses you !!!] & obviously they were like "Yeah ofc !!!"

So I DMed him & tried as nicely as I could to call things off [I don't remember what I said but I don't think I brought up any of these issues] & I remember being in the lunch line, trembling, sending the messages & reading his reply [which was basically "What the fuck fuck you" & other similar unkind things].

This happened a while ago, but I still think about it a lot, mostly due to the fact I'm always worried I'm overreacting ? Like obviously it wasn't a healthy relationship/dynamic, but I see some people say 14 w/ 17 is 100% fine & other say it's gross & I think it's gross, but do I only think that because of this specific instance ? Does it class as grooming or am I grasping at straws, which doesn't make sense for me to do cause it's not like I want it to be grooming or something, but still. Was this enough to have triggers from ? [His name, which I'm kinda over [became a fan of a band w/ a guy who has a similar name, so that helped], & an emoji, which I won't disclose cause while a lot of people I know use it, its easier to just scroll past than to ask people not to use it. Especially since there are assholes who would use it just to upset me [I don't think any of my friends/mutuals would, but I mean strangers who see] ]

Idk.

Idk the point in making this - I don't think I've told the story in full, besides my NSFWtwt account, but still......

Theres one other similar story I've been wanting to tell, so idk maybe I'll tell that one too. But this post is long enough, so not here [maybe a second post or a reblog]

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smallandterriblyafraid · 1 year

Text

…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ ◅

<:3)~

(Updated Saturday, December 3rd, 2022, 4:12 PM) - LoM

[Disclaimer: Due to formatting, some of the text may be difficult for some to read. If you find that that is the case please let me know and I'll do my best to fix it immediately! Also, most of this is copied over from my main account so I don't have to type everything twice, so if something looks familiar, it probably is! I hope this doesn't cause too much trouble!]

Hi there, I'm LoM! I use singular they/them pronouns but may grant permission to use other pronouns to people I am extremely close to. I speak English (🇺🇲/🇬🇧) and conversational French (🇫🇷), and am learning Welsh (🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿), so feel free to talk to me in any of those languages! Taken by my lovely girlfriend, so I'd prefer for people to avoid coming onto me, but I am okay with joking flirting (like "kissing the homies goodnight" or "marriage for tax benefits") as long as it's just for laughs! On principle I won't turn off anon asks ever but if you're a jerk I'll steal all of your left shoes and right socks. My main blog is @toosmallformyowngood , and my agere sideblog is @thesmallestofall, so feel free to check those out too! That's all I can think of for now but I'll probably update some things later!

My current hyperfixations are:

- Resident Evil: Village (and a bit of RE 7)

- CoD Modern Warfare 2 (specifically annoying the gamerbros lmao)

- Overwatch (Yes I live in shame over this)

- Anything SCP related

- Also anything Lobotomy Corp related

- Pokémon (Train guys are so skrunkly)

- Fallout [NV & 4]

- Anything TTRPG (D&D, WH2k, etc)

- Uhhh probably something else I'm forgetting

- Also I might talk about my OCs from time to time (I'm sorry)

Please note that I do not take requests at the moment. Suggestions by mutuals or other close friends maybe, but even then anything I write would be in headcanon format. I'm not that confident in my writing skills, nor am I confident in my ability to maintain a semi-coherent schedule, so for the time being I'm just shitposting for the sake of having fun. If you want to talk to me though, I'm all for it! I love sharing ideas back and forth (and just human interaction in general).

Anyway! Here's the specially coded comma that can go in the tags: ‚

And now on to other things;

DNI list below the cut! (In no particular order)

🚫 DNI if you: 🚫

Are rac.ist, homo.phobic, trans.phobic, bi.phobic, pan.phobic, able.ist, aro/ace exclusionary, or any other form of xeno.phobic

Think that poly.am people aren't part of the lgbtqia+ community (They are, die mad about it.)

Are a N.S.F.T blog (Jokes, art, artistic photography, writing, and fandom stuff are fine tho. It's just the irl stuff and only.fans links I'm shying away from)

Are a t.erf/rad.fem/etc (Tradwife stuff is fine so long as you aren't pushing it on anyone else. Everyone has a different vision for what they want their personal future to look like and yours is valid too, so long as you're not on "a woman's place" and all that bullshit.)

Are a practicing M.AP (People with intrusive thoughts can stay, though. It's not your fault that your brain is giving you icky thoughts when all you want is for it to shut up; my only qualm is with people who either see no wrong in the action, or do and go through with it any way.)

Support J.K. Row.ling and or her works. Please read literally any other book. It's not even that good.

Are anti-endo (I won't tolerate invalidating other's identities and lived experience, sorry)

Are anti age.re/pet.re, etc

Vilify mental illness

Don't support neopronouns (Including emoji pronouns.)

Are anti it/it's pronouns

Are a T.rump supporter, anti.masker, c.ovid denier, etc. Your conspiracy theories are not welcome here

Are an Oni.sion stan (Kind of pedantic I know but the dude sucks to the nth degree, so-)

Crosstag posts with both strictly N.S.F.T and sfw tags (Mistakes are fine as long as it's just a genuine slip up and you do your best to correct it. We're all human and sometimes accidents happen, but doing it on purpose or leaving it up after being told the issues is a no go.)

Are anti.-choice/pro.-life

Are anti free healthcare, food, water, etc

Think autism and related quirks need a "cure" (I'm all for personal choice if the "cure" was a pill or shot but currently the "cure" is eug.enics which I am not about)

Think DNI lists are bad or a waste of time

That's all I can think of for now. However, with that said…

✅ Do interact if you: ✅

Are a roleplay/gimmick/character blog, or anything like that! I love talking to you guys! You're cool! Also seeing how this is my fandom sideblog, it matches the theme

Have OCs. Tell me about them! I love hearing about people's characters!

See a fandom on here you like? Please talk to me I crave interaction so badly-

That's all for now! See you later! <3

#comma ‚ tag #pinned post #about me #dni list

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me-uglypretty · 2 years

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okay so hear me out now, input runaway anon broke their word and binge watched the last five episodes of season 1… aka another long one, sorry

(IT GOT SO FUCKING GOOD THAT THE SUSPENSE WAS KILLING ME, I HAD THE TIME TO WATCH THEM ALL SO I DID AND I’M SO GLAD I DID CAUSE SO MUCH WENT DOWN)

since i binge watched them all here are a collection of my thoughts of the last half of the season:

((i definitely don’t do a thing where i have a file in my notes app dedicated to all of my silly little thoughts when i watch anything, no not at all))

• first and foremost, karolina and nico getting ready for the gala *screams* then gert getting the hint between the two?! it’s like a triple love triangle cause there’s alex-nico-karolina, nico-karolina-chase, karolina-chase-gert (also, i like to think that gert’s definitely not straight but is totally into chase) ((but also the way everyone’s so accepting of everything is so nice it’s making me cry tears of happiness, like ah yes fuck heteronormativity! oh if such things were like this irl *big sigh as i stare off into the distance))

• not all the family secrets coming out though, so many affairs man, like there’s this thing called communication? y’all should really try it sometime

• the parent drama is really off the charts, i’m so speechless, there’s the dean’s and jonah situation which i feel is just getting started, but the whole stein and minoru affair is whack OOP SPOKE TO SOON IT’S MORE WHACK i’m guessing that the serum that jonah gave victor wore off which made him a jerk again to chase BUT THEN JANET JUST SHOT HIM?! IN FRONT OF HER SON?!?! i get the whole child comes first and victor was totally out of line, but wow i am truly speechless

[now a brief intermission about deanoru] can we also talk about how raspy karolina’s voice is and how deep nico’s is cause wow, i’m a different type of speechless now *heart eyes* [back to our regularly scheduled inputs]

• but i also really love molly’s relationship with nico and karolina too, and how in general both nico and karolina genuinely care for everyone in the group, they are literally people i’d want as my friends

• ANOTHER BUT, it was so sad when alex revealed everything to nico and she admitted how she’s felt/been feeling, like this whole little arc between them is such a good little side plot

okay i’m dead ass laughing, i only have one input from episode 8 and it’s “not molly not knowing what a vhs tape is, i’m dead” i’m guessing i was really into that episode since there’s not a lot of inputs lol

and episode 9 had some of the best lines:

• “i always saw you” chase to gert OMFG HES SO SMOOTH WTH

• nico: “i’m gonna go look.”

alex: “want some company?”

nico: “sure.”

nico: “karolina, you wanna come?”

karolina: *nods* mhmm

THEN THEY GO AND KAROLINA KISS NICO AND HSKSLDHKSJXK THEY KISSED IM SCREAMING WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LAST EPISODE WOOOOOOO

• i fuck’n knew jonah d-worded amy, and to know that leslie knew and was also apart of the molly’s parents too? UGH but i love how the parents are like reforming their own group because they love their kids above all else (((except for frank, fuck him for right now, that was a plot twist i wasn’t expecting but also am not slightly surprised about he just seems like the type of guy who’d do that)))

• OLD LACE APPRECIATION ugh i just really love dinosaurs and i can’t wait to see what’s to come

• BUT I AM ALSO SO MAD THAT SOMEONE (jonah?) FRAMED THE KIDS FOR DESTINY’S DWORD AND ARE MAKING IT SEEM LIKE THEY KIDNAPPED MOLLY TOO ARGHARGHARGHARGH

and last but not least, the last thing i’d like to note is nonetheless DEANORU

• THAT LAST KISS THAT NICO INITIATES HAS ME MELTING WITH SO MUCH YEARNING AND LIKE NICO’S LITTLE HEAD NOD FOR KAROLINA TO FOLLOW HER EEEEEEHHHHHH OMFG AND I ALMOST FORGOT BUT HOW NICO IS THE BIG SPOON GSKALDNSKJDKSJSLSLSJ

i’d really like to thank you for suggesting this show and your time in interacting with me, i really truly do appreciate <3

~ input runaway anon

THE WAY GERT WAS LIKE UHHHH SOMETHING LGBT JUST HAPPENED. And yes! I LOVE HOW EVERYTHING FELT SO NORMAL??? I love the no coming out story but oh you like her?? Ok anyway-

BUT THE PART WHERE THEY ASSUMED THEIR MOTHERS WERE HAVING AFFAIR LIKE I GASPED AND WENT MAKE IT HAPPEN YOU COWARDS (and the actors are so cool too, they’re amazing with the whole thing). Victor is a shit father and deserved what he got. JANET DID NOTHING WRONG!!!

I like to think that Karolina and Nico are the parents, messy but protective and better than their own parents.

AND THAT SCENE. I would be so embarrassed if someone I liked just straight up ask someone else to follow them like I didn’t ask them first??? BESTIE I WOULD CRY. (But also ha! karma bitch)

Seriously, I learned to not trust any one of the parents cause wtf ya’ll always hiding something and doing something really fucked up. BUT THAT FINAL EPISODE!! ((But is that enough???? HMMM????)) (((and they framed their own kids tho like wtf)))

DEANORU OWNS A PART OF MY HEART. I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING AS SOFT AS THEM BEFORE THE SHOW LIKE THAT WAS THE BEST. It’s everything we deserve. Plus when they kiss and it’s all gay glowing???? GIVE ME THAT.

OLD LACE MUST BE PROTECTED. I LOVE OLD LACE. THAT'S MY BABY.

Input runaway anon, this is all so wholesome and I appreciate you watching the show then screaming about it with me. It is needed and I love every one of it!! ALSO DID YOU GET REST???HOW DID YOU WATCH EVERYTHING LIKE SLEEP??? PLEASE GET ENOUGH REST and I can't wait for the next season inputs!!! It's gonna be heart hurting and gay.

#me-uglypretty answers #input runaway anon

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