#I need someone else who's very online bit also good at archiving to let me know đ©
pinpointing Tumblr users by the vocab they use in casual conversation and general vibe like đïžđïž
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Magnus Archives 16! Spoilers below!
Oh, poor Alice. Whoâs hugging her? According to the transcript itâs just Celia and thereâs comforting stillness (I dunno, sounded more FABRIC RUSTLES to me)
Who did Alice and Sam see die? Did I miss that? Is that something we know? And Celia doesnât even ask about it as anyone else would so - she knowsâŠ
Poor Alice seems so badly shaken, so in need of comfort and protection - I hope she stays safe (as every other character in Magnus who needs comfort and protection stays safe. Nothing bad ever happens to them EVER).
âI paid my horror dues working hereâ damn, Alice knows she is in a horrorâŠand hoped the OIAR would keep her safe.
Bad joke Sam. Very bad joke.
Oh! Oh! A voice for Ink5oul!
Oh my god, Madam Electrum is the worst kind of influencer - totally up her own arse, talks in hashtags and slang she only half understands.
And no, sheâs not a proper Goth.
She was DMing Ink5oul? She thought they were friends - even more?
Highgate cemetery? Bit - cliched, isnât it? And itâs patrolled at night. I know more private cemeteries in London (i absolutely do not hang around in cemeteries after dark. Uh-uh. No way. Youâll never catch me doing something so deliciously dark and forbiddenâŠ)
âDonât make me break your heartâ ooh, good lineâŠ
So - Ink5oul gets ideas from bodies, like the one in Marked?
Look, Madam E, you try to dig into Ink5oul secret, tell everything online, chicken out of the real goth stuff and then mock them online and youâre surprised Ink5oul made a callout video?
Whatâs the tattoo over her heart? Bees stinging her on her heart over and over again - that sounds like a tattoo needle digging deep..
Sounds like Ink5oul has followers to do their dirty work for them (glad the cats are ok)
âI just wanted to be noticedâ oh, thatâs real. Thatâs such a cry for help.
And that was Alice listening - Alice who also laughs loud and makes jokes and does everything to draw attention to herself - wanting to be noticed. Wanting to be loved - but everyone leaves her in the end.
Lena is so furious at Gwen bringing Lady Mowbray in! âYou introduced her to your colleagues! That poses a completely unacceptable risk to your colleaguesâ
Wait - Lena is worried about the others? Lena wants to protect the others? Lena is trying to make sure theyâre safe? Excuse me a second while I readjust all my opinions of Lena. (Maybe that why she couldnât murder Klaus - not because she was incompetent but because she didnât want to)
Oh, Gwen. Why didnât you realise Lady Mowbray is dangerous? Iâm rooting for you Gwen, but honestly. This is the kind of behaviour I would expect from the Bouchards of Cheshire - the kind of aristocracy who say âBertieâs a lovely chap, no-one kinder, once beat his valet to death with a shoe but you canât hold that against him, heâs a sweetie reallyâ
I mean, Gwen is right. Lena is keeping secrets and not training her but now I wonder if she was hoping Gwen could fail so she had a reason not to send her to the Externals - that she was trying to protect Gwen and and all the others?
Ooh, I have a new theory - I already thought Alice was trying to protect everyone and she is trying very hard not to know the horrors. What if Lena is also trying to protect everyone by being the only one who knows all the horrors?
I need more Lena. Right now.
I need someone to love and protect Alice.
Donât let me down, Gwen
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Love Languages
Info: The Magnus Archives, JonMartin, rated T probably for swears. Canon-Compliant. Set post-MAG 22, with a coda post-MAG 159. Everyone is ND and everyone is trans because thatâs just how my personal S1 Archives gang rolls.
CWs: Mentions of ableism and Martinâs mother. Iâd say canon-typical worms but the worms donât really come up except in passing.
I do not know anything about BSL, so I did not try to describe the signs.
Summary: A love language is not just about how you best show love and affection; it is also about the ways you best receive love and affection. And so, for someone like Martin, who shows love by going out of his way to help others, someone going out of their way to help him, well. What better way for him to realize just how loved he is?
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The first time Martin went completely non-verbal after starting work in the Archives, it was the morning after giving Jon the statement about Jane Prentiss.
It wasnât a surprising development, really. Martin didnât go fully non-verbal that often, but when he did it was almost always a thing that started in the morning and lasted most of the day. Sometimes it wore off by the time he went to bed, sometimes it lasted until the next morning.
After his motherâs diagnosis, heâd been unable to speak for an entire week. That hadnât gone over well--as much as his mother wanted him to be quiet, she didnât like the âsilent treatment,â as she called it.
Martin hated that sheâd called it that, as though his non-verbal episodes were anything he did on purpose. Some days talking just felt like a chore; those days he could get by only forcing words out when he had to. But some days, the worst days, he just couldnât talk. He could understand other people just fine, he could make noises, sometimes he could even hum. And he could definitely read and write. But speaking words, aloud? No. He could not speak, on these days, however much he may have wanted to.
As Martin grew older and learned more about himself, he learned words and reasons and coping mechanisms. He realized that some of the problem came from dysphoria and the longer he was on hormones the less often it happened. He realized that he was autistic (even if he never got diagnosed), and learned how to handle the episodes that still occurred. He took sign languages classes because it was a good and useful thing to know regardless, to be able to communicate with more people.
As many Deaf people had learned before Martin, heâd found himself in plenty of situations when nobody around him knew BSL, so heâd found a phone app that let him type out things he wanted to say and repeated them in a tinny, mechanical voice. Feminine, but he found it didnât cause dysphoria; it wasnât his voice. It was the app speaking for him, a robot lady translating his words.
Martin was fairly certain he was going to need the robot lady to speak for him today, and he was dreading the whole idea. The app got him a range of reactions from scorn to derision to faux sympathy. The last time heâd done so at work, the Institute library staff had regarded him with such pity that heâd called in sick the two other times it had happened since.
Heâd woken early, because he was always awake fairly early, to ensure he looked presentable and got to work on time. He did not want Jonathan âCrisply Professional At All Timesâ Sims giving him that look again. The particular look that was âI highly disapprove of your sartorial choices but Iâm not going to get into it right now because I have so very much else to do. Nonetheless, if I could fire you for what youâre wearing I would.â
Jon had a lot of looks. Martin fervently wished he could stop categorizing them; he very much disliked his boss, and very much wanted to stop thinking about Jon quite as much as he did.
Jon was attractive, that much Martin had noticed the first day heâd come in, with a jawline Martin wouldâve loved to trace with his fingers, eyes sharp and deep and intelligent, salt-and-pepper hair that Martin would have tangled his fingers in gladly.
Except, of course, that Jon was also a prick who didnât like Martin one bit and made that very clear. Heâd put down on record that he thought Martin would âcontribute nothing but delays.â Martin was not such a sucker for punishment that he would put up with someone who hated him just for a pretty face. The tiny potential blossom of a crush had been, well, crushed five seconds after it had poked its head above ground, by Jonâs declaration that he could dismiss Martin if he didnât resolve the âdog situationâ immediately.
Martin counted his lucky stars every day that Jon had not, in fact, dismissed him, despite having had to deal with a doggy mess. The luck was really in having Tim around, Martin figured; Jon actually seemed fond of Tim, and the other man had managed to smooth the entire situation over.
Martin had fallen asleep last night thinking about the new look Jon had given him yesterday: concerned. Truly, genuinely concerned, which had rather taken Martin aback. Heâd been certain Jon wouldnât believe him, would scoff and roll his eyes at the entire statement, and instead heâd just looked⊠concerned.Â
And then Jon had offered Martin the cot that heâd woken up in this morning.
It wasnât the look of concern that had Martin non-verbal, though; of that he was certain. It was the stress of the last two weeks, and dumping out the statement yesterday, and all the whirl of figuring out how to live in the Archives. Jonâs insistence on going with him to pick up basics with a toothbrush at the convenience store, and then coming back to be sure he was okay. Jon finding clean sheets and discussing how heâd do his laundry. Jon had expensed clothing bought online to the Institute, including next-day shipping, because heâd âlost access to his flat and thus his wardrobe in the line of duty.â It had all been bewildering and overwhelming and it was no real surprise that Martin was in the state he found himself when he woke.
Martin had known as soon as heâd opened his eyes. It was just there, the feeling of nope canât talk today. Heâd pulled on his binder and the same clothing heâd worn the day before and then fumbled around for his phone. Which⊠he didnât have. The damn worm-hive-lady had stolen it from him. Well, shit.
He managed to avoid having to figure out how to talk while he went out to get breakfast, just pointing at a scone in the display and smiling at the guy behind the counter as if he wasnât secretly irritated by the price of everything in Chelsea. By the time Martin got back, Jon was already in his office, so thank God heâd avoided that awkward interaction. He went to make himself tea, and had his breakfast in the breakroom, and brushed his teeth, and then went to get started onâŠ
Wait. He didnât even know what they were working on right now.
Well, he wasnât going to bother Jon about it; however nice heâd been last night it surely must have worn off by now, and Martin had no interest in summoning one of his bossâ looks this early in the morning. Normally heâd still be on his commute at this hour.
After a momentâs thought, he went to go see what theyâd recorded in his absence, and soon had a stack of statements on his desk. Theyâd gotten through five statements in the two weeks heâd been gone. Maybe Jon was right. Maybe Martin did contribute ânothing but delays.â
Pushing the thought aside, Martin focused on listening to the tapes, and was just finishing up listening to the second half of Father Edwin Burroughsâ statement when Tim came into the shared office the assistants used.
âHey, youâre in early. You get the email?â
Martin raised his eyebrows and shook his head.
Tim snorted. âJon claims heâs got something to warn us about, something that âwonât parse properly through digital means.ââ He rolled his eyes. âWhich is Jon-speak for âitâs a weird thing and I donât want to admit itâs a weird thing because I have to keep my skeptic hat on to preserve my self-image.â
Martin chuckled in solidarity, then gestured toward the door to Jonâs office, to indicate thatâs where their boss was.
âNot coming?â Tim asked, his own eyebrow raised. When Martin shrugged, he said, âWell, I guess if you didnât get the emailâŠâ Tim also shrugged, then said, âGuess Iâd better get it over with. Wish me luck!â
Martin gave him a thumbs up.
When Sasha came in, Martin silently directed her to Jonâs office as well, then heaved a sigh of relief. He hadnât had to explain being non-verbal at all yet, and it was already nine oâclock. Maybe if he was lucky, Jon would warn them off talking to him and heâd manage to make it the entire day without having to explain the whole ânon-verbalâ business to anyone he saw on a regular basis.
Alas, it was barely thirty minutes later that Tim and Sasha returned to talk to him, both wearing expressions of mingled concern and guilt. When they spoke it was a flood of the usual, expected platitudes:
âWeâre so sorry!â
âWe didnât know!â
âAre you okay??â
And such like.
Martin shrugged and nodded and shook his head in all the right places, and evidently Jon had played them the tape of his statement so he didnât have to explain it all again (thank God), and he thought maybe, maybe he could even figure out what statement they were working on right now if he just listened to their chatter after they were done with the niceties, but thenâŠ
Well. Then Timothy Stoker happened.
Which is to say, Tim actually looked at Martin, and said, âYouâre being awfully quiet. You sure youâre okay?â
And then he and Sasha just⊠sat there, looking at him expectantly.
Martin sighed and reached for a piece of scrap paper and wrote, Iâm autistic and sometimes I go non-verbal. Todayâs one of those days, but I donât have my phone anymore, so no communication app.
As he held up the paper so the others could read the words, Martin braced himself for the ensuing reactions. Pity, probably, like those in the Institute library, and he couldnât even call in sick to avoid it; heâd rather have scorn and derision. At least those reactions were honest.
What he got from them was not pity, however, nor even scorn.
Sasha hummed. âAutism explains a lot, actually. Donât worry, itâs not a problem.â
Tim grinned and clapped Martin on the shoulder. âYeah, why didnât you just say so? Itâs fine, youâve been through an ordeal. And so you know--youâre hardly the only neurodivergent in the Archives.â
Martin blinked at Tim, then wrote: Wait, what? Who�
âWould you believe me if I said all of us?â Tim said with a grin. âI have ADD, Jonâs⊠well⊠heâs Jon, and as for SashaâŠâ
Sasha sighed in fond exasperation and cut in, âTimâŠâ
âI contend that you cannot be neurotypical, Ms. James. You fit in too well around here.â
âI am not admitting to anything on Institute property,â Sasha said with aplomb. âAnd you shouldn't have either, but here we are.â She looked at Martin. âIf HR finds out and they give you any trouble, let us know and weâll figure out what to do.â
Tim, in the meanwhile, pulled out his phone. âHere, go ahead and use mine for now, until your replacement gets here or whatever. Whatâs the app so I can install it for you?â
Martinâs jaw had dropped open. Tim having ADD made sense; what did he mean about Jon, though? And Sasha? And what did Sasha mean about HR? And⊠and why were they being so⊠nice? So⊠understanding? It wasnât an act, or at least he didnât think it was. They seemed⊠genuinely fine with it. Accepting, even.
It was the strangest thing Martin had experienced in a while, and that was including the worm-riddled woman whoâd stood outside his door for two straight weeks.
From there the day just⊠went on as normal. Tim installed the app on the phone, Martinâs robot phone lady spoke for him, the three of them did their work, and everything was fine.
Until, of course, the nature of their work reared its ugly head. They were discussing the statement of Leanne Denikin, case #0051701, which they had yet to attach a pithy name to; hence the discussion. It had long since become standard practice to attach a name to the âweirderâ statements, to make them easier to discuss. (Jon insisted on using the case numbers on tape still, which was annoying, given that was the only place he did that.)
Martin was reading through the statement, and he typed into Timâs phone: What do you think of this bit? âBe still, for there is strange music.â
What came out of the phoneâs speakers, however, was garbled static followed by high-pitched screeching that startled Martin so much he actually dropped the phone.
Jon was walking in just as this happened; he stopped in the doorway, blinking. âWhat on Earth was that?â
âMartinâs robot lady gave Timâs phone an aneurysm, I think,â Sasha said, eyeing Martin as well.
Martin scrabbled on the floor for the phone, pulled up the app (which had crashed), and typed, I donât know what happened!! I was just typing in something from one of the statements!
Jon frowned at him sharply. âWhat are you doing with Timâs phone? Are you quite well?â
âNo, Martin is not âquite well,ââ Tim said. âNon-verbal for the day.â
Then Jon did something that stunned Martin: Jon signed at him, specifically, âDo you know sign language?â He spoke aloud as he said this, too, but also raised his eyebrows and gave a quizzical tilt to his head to convey that he was asking a question.
Martin blinked rapidly, then signed back: âYes, actually. But Tim and Sasha donât.â
Jon nodded, then said aloud, along with signing, âWhy are you non-verbal, exactly?â
âI have autism,â Martin signed. âSometimes talking is overwhelming and sometimes, especially in stressful situations, I canât talk at all. Woke up that way today. It should be gone by tomorrow morning.â Why was he explaining so much more to Jon than he had to the others? Maybe just because Jon knew sign, and thus could communicate in a language Martin found much easier than even the typing.
Jon frowned thoughtfully, then nodded again. Then, still speaking and signing both, âWhat were you typing into your phone?â
âBe still, for there is strange music. From the statement.â Martin gestured to the statement on his desk.
Jonâs frown deepened and he repeated the words. ââBe still, for there is strange musicâŠ.ââ His expression went slack for a moment, and then he shook himself. âRight. Well. Just⊠just⊠Iâll be right back.â Then he abruptly turned and left the room.
Tim and Sasha exchanged bewildered looks. Then Sasha asked, âDo you know what that was all about?â
âI forgot Jon knows BSL,â Tim replied thoughtfully. âHard of hearing on one side. Not that heâd have agreed to interpret all day or anything.â
Martin shrugged. Itâs alright, he typed. This works just fine.
âWell, no, obviously not for some things.â Jon had reappeared as suddenly as heâd disappeared, holding a small brown notebook the size of Martinâs hand. âHere,â he said, thrusting the notebook at Martin. âThis will work better, for communicating about the statements. You neednât use it with me, of course, unless signing is also taxing.â
Martin stared up at Jon. There was an entirely new look on his bossâ face. Not any level of scorn or sneer, nor even concern. He was⊠nervous. Fidgety. Like he was offering a gift that he was afraid might be rejected.
Something went flip in Martinâs stomach and it was like the entire world turned upside down. Suddenly, in light of Jonâs actions in the last 24 hours, he saw the way his boss had acted toward him the last six months for what it was: a defense mechanism. Armor pulled up around someone fragile and soft and sweet, someone so terrified of rejection that he went about making sure it happened preemptively so he wouldnât be hurt.
Martin had a sudden, fierce desire to hug Jon and tell him everything would be okay. It was so bewildering a sensation--he didnât even like the man! At all!--that he just took the notebook with a nod and a signed âThank you,â eyes still very wide.
Jon nodded in return. âYouâre welcome.â He let out a breath, and seemed to relax a little. âWell. Then. I think weâve found the name for this one, given the way Timâs phone reacted to those words. âStrange Musicâ it is.â He straightened himself. âTim, you said something about the organ reminding you of articles youâve readâŠ?â
Tim nodded, expression suddenly serious. âYeah. Iâll see if I can find them for you.â
âRight. Well, then, Sasha, if I could ask you to look through the Archive like we talked about? Iâm certain weâve had a statement from Jane Prentiss.â Jon then turned to Martin. âAnd if you wouldnât mind helping me with âSchwarzwald?â You used to work in the library, right?â
Martin was still staring at Jon in confusion, but nodded.
Jon actually smiled at him. Faintly. âWell, then, Iâm certain you must know where to find the German history reference books, if you could go grab whatever theyâll let you bring down?â
The strangest thing about it was, Jon seemed sincere. Like he actually believed Martin did, indeed, know the library well enough to just⊠go up there and find the German history reference books. The faint, confident-in-his-assistant smile was a new look, at least directed at Martin; heâd seen Jon look at Tim and Sasha that way many times before.
Martinâs stomach was doing cartwheels. There were butterflies taking up residence in his intestines. His heart was pounding. How had he never noticed how nice Jonâs smile was? Soft and small, like he was afraid to let it actually take up residence on his face for too long.
Oh, God, oh, no. Martin could not fancy his boss. Jon hated him. Or, well, no, evidence suggested that perhaps Jon did not hate him, but Jon most certainly did not fancy him. This crush had to disappear, just as fast as it had come. This would not do.
He was going to be writing poetry again tonight, wasnât he? Crap.
âMartin?â Jonâs tone was concerned rather than sharp, and the way Jon said his name made Martin want to sink into the floor.
Instead, he scribbled furiously in the notebook and held it up so all three of the others could see: Yeah, sorry, was just thinking about where thatâd be. Iâll bring them down as soon as I find them.
Jon practically beamed at Martinâs use of the notebook and he nodded briskly. âRight! Iâll be in my office when you have the books, then.â He started to turn away.
Martinâs heart went pound pound pound because oh wow Jon was really cute when he let that smile take up more of his face. Throwing caution to the wind, he made a noise to get the other manâs attention.
Jon turned around, quirking a brow. âYes, Martin?â
Martin signed, âTea?â He, too, raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to indicate the question.
Jon nodded. âTea would be lovely, yes.â He smiled at Martin for a brief moment, and then suddenly looked flustered. He glared at them all. âAnyway,â he snapped in his âbossâ voice, the impact of which was ruined by the flush rising in his cheeks, âthereâs still work to be done. So letâs⊠do it.â And with that, he turned on his heel and left the office.
Had Jon blushed because Martin had offered him tea? Did Jon like his tea that much? Was Martin imagining things? He had to be imagining things. He put his head down on the desk and wrapped his arms over it so he could grab at handfuls of hair. What was happening to him?
Sasha tried to make her voice serious, but couldn't quite manage it past quite clearly holding back giggles. âMourn for poor Martin, working alone with Jon.â She looked at Tim. âWe should call HR preemptively, itâll be a bloodbath.â
âNah, I think Jonâs softening on our boy,â Tim said with a laugh. He reached over to ruffle Martinâs hair with one hand while he took his phone back with the other. âDonât worry, Marto. I told you heâd come around one day.â
Martin looked up at Tim with a stricken, betrayed expression. In the notebook: Is this how you comfort me in my hour of need??
Sasha shook her head. âFor once, Timâs being serious. You werenât in the room when Jon explained things to us. Heâs worried about you, he doesnât want you to have to leave the Institute alone, he doesnât want you to have to look for the Prentiss statement in case itâs âtoo traumaticâ for you to run across on your own. He actually asked us if we thought we should avoid any mention of Prentiss altogether in your presence.â
âI told him no,â Tim said. âI hope that was okay. You seem like youâd rather deal with trauma by facing it and figuring it out, rather than avoiding it entirely.â
Matin gaped at them. Really? he wrote. Jonâs⊠worried about me? Really? As if he hadnât seen the evidence just now that Jon was, indeed⊠softening.
Tim gave Martin a very serious look. âIâve told you before⊠Iâve known Jon, well, not as long as Iâve known Sasha, but for a long while now. Heâs prickly and thorny, even to people he cares about, but thatâs a front and Iâve said so. You just didnât believe me.â
âIn Martinâs defense,â Sasha put in, âJonâs been awfully âprickly and thornyâ to him specifically.â
Tim put up a hand. âOh, I agree. I have had words with our dear boss about the way he treats Martin, largely because Iâm one of the few people he might actually listen to.â He looked at Martin. âI donât want to take the credit, because itâs really been a remarkably fast turnaround, but Iâd like to think I helped, a little.â
Martin frowned thoughtfully. Thank you, he wrote. If Jonâs at âI can stand Martinâ instead of âMartin is the source of all bad that happens in the Archivesâ work might be⊠better than tolerable, for once.
âThatâs the spirit!â Tim said with a grin. âNow, then, Jon did say to get back to workâŠâ
Jon gave Martin another of those soft smiles when Martin brought in the tea, a smile which widened on seeing the stack of books he carried in right after. That afternoon, spent sitting and going through books and discussing the Schwarzwald statement, was the first of many theyâd spend together, reading and talking and comparing notes.
Martin was feeling verbal again the next morning, but he kept the notebook. If nothing else, it was a good place to jot down poetry. And it came in handy when he found himself unable to speak the morning after Jane Prentissâ attack on the Archives.
And the morning after Jon confronted him about his CV.
And the morning after Jon disappeared, leaving Jurgen Leitnerâs body at his desk. (Martin blamed that on the corridors more than the body, really.)
Funnily enough, he didnât need it the morning after the Unknowing. But he kept it with him that day all the same, the first gift Jon had ever given him, and one of the few things he had left of him with Jon in a coma.
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When they reached Daisyâs safehouse in Scotland, Martin had hoped heâd somehow manage to dodge the threat of going non-verbal. Heâd been the one to drive the car, over Jonâs protests; it was something to focus on, to keep him remembering he was alive and real. Heâd clutched the wheel and driven north north north with Jon giving directions in the passenger seat.
Martin had finally figured out that it was the chance to stop and think about trauma that led to his being non-verbal, which was why it was almost always a thing that hit in the morning. Adrenaline would keep him running after a stressful event, and then heâd carry himself through the rest of the day trying to clean up whatever mess had been caused. But sleep was enough for his body and brain to both tell him to stop, to process, to deal with whatever heâd run into.
It was possible, in hindsight, that heâd gone non-verbal more than once since the Unknowing and just hadnât noticed because heâd been barely interacting with anyone. Heâd certainly had a bad bout the morning after his motherâs funeral, dealing with so much misgendering and fake smiles. And there had been more than enough trauma to try to process in the past year, so it must have happened before.
Heâd just really, really hoped it wouldnât now, because he didnât want to put Jon through that. (Why he thought he was putting Jon through anything he didnât really want to examine. It made him feel Lonely, and that was bad.)
At any rate, the realization of why he went non-verbal had led to him keeping busy in order to hold it off, in order to hold himself together. So he drove, and he puttered about the cabin poking into cupboards, and he talked to Jon, and he talked to the shop lady in the village, and he brought back food and made dinner with Jon, and everything was good and fine.
And then he woke up the next morning, in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room, and he could not speak.
There was the smell of bacon and eggs and pancakes cooking, and Martin made his bleary way out into the main room of the cabin and peered at Jon, already up and dressed and cooking.
His boyfriend turned to look at him and smiled, one of those soft smiles Martin had come to love so much. âSleep well?â
"Not really,â Martin signed. âI meanâŠâ He gestured at his throat.
Jon nodded. âI figured you might feel that way this morning. I, uhh⊠hold on a moment, I need toâŠ.â He grabbed the pan of bacon and moved it off the heat, pulled a pancake off the griddle and deposited it on a plate, then turned off the stove and went to poke around in one of the bags.
Martin chuckled fondly. âWhatâre you looking for?â
Jon was still digging through his bag. âWhen I was grabbing essentials at the store, back in London, I was thinking, youâve been through a lot, and the notebook I gave you before must be full if you even have it anymore. I know you were writing poetry in it, and⊠oh, here we go.â
Jon came up with another small notebook. This one was not plain and brown, the way the first one heâd gifted Martin all those years ago had been. This one was black, and had silvery stars on its cover that, as Jon held out the book and thus tilted it through the light, shimmered into rainbows.
âJust in case, you know, the shop lady doesnât know BSL.â
Martin blinked at the notebook.
âIt, uhh⊠I know itâs not your usual style,â Jon said, his voice suddenly nervous. He was looking down at the notebook as he spoke, instead of at Martin. âNot⊠retro. But⊠I saw it and I thought of you.â He paused. âThat tape, where you were talking to Simon Fairchild. He talked about the âcosmic scale,â and how weâve never even been alive on that time frame, and you said⊠what was it? You said, âI think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever.â And I just⊠that was⊠maybe the most⊠it was very⊠you. And there were other options, flowers or cursive writing, o-or⊠I donât know, they all seemed so obvious, but thisâŠâ
Jon swallowed, and finally looked up at Martin. âI thought, after the Lonely, you might like a reminder that, you have value. That⊠that to me, you shine as bright as any star.â And then he flushed, and Martin knew it was for him, just as he now knew the flushes about tea all those years ago had also been for him.
Martin was gaping. Oh. Oh. Jon⊠loved him. Which heâd known, intellectually, but the emotional knowledge of it hit him suddenly, took his breath away. He knew it, all at once, in that âoh we could spend the rest of our lives togetherâ way heâd never really thought heâd ever feel.
Jon had clearly misinterpreted the expression; he started stammering, âI-if⊠it itâs bad, I can⊠well, no, I canât take it back, stupid, I shouldâve just grabbed the one that had--â
Martin cut him off by reaching out to take the notebook from Jon and reached out with his other hand to cup the shorter manâs cheek. He smiled, and because heâd realized long ago how well Jon responded to physical touch, he leaned in to plant a soft kiss on his boyfriendâs forehead.
Then he pulled back to put the notebook aside on the counter and signed, âItâs perfect. Thank you.â A pause, and then, âI love you.â
Jon smiled, both speaking and signing, âI love you, too.â
And for once in his life, Martin knew that to be true, and trusted that knowledge. He was loved. He had been loved, and he would be loved for the rest of his life, whatever state his voice was in.
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Was Ace Attorney made as a satire on Japanâs legal system? -- An analysis
I wouldnât really call myself an Ace Attorney fan--Iâve never played any of the games, the closest Iâve come being watching other peopleâs letâs plays. I do like reading about the series on wikis and interacting with fan content for it, though, so I do know a fair amount about it.
One thing I see being said pretty often by fans is that the series was intended as a satire/parody of the Japanese legal system, which is why the courts are ridiculously biased towards the prosecution, prosecutors often care more about perfect win records more than putting actual guilty people behind bars, etc. If youâre familiar with this, youâve probably heard of Japanâs 99% conviction rate. This interpretation of the games and the way they work definitely makes sense.
But after hearing this many times I eventually noticed something. There isnât a single actual source (creator statement, interview, etc.) that backs up this claim. Every time I see someone online say âthe series creator made Ace Attorney to parody Japanâs actual legal systemâ there is never a link to an interview or anything that proves their statement correct. If someone has an actual, verified source from Shu Takumi or someone else who had significant involvement with the series, please prove me wrong and show it to me. But according to all of the creatorâs statementâs Iâve read, thereâs no evidence of the series being an intentional parody.
So, what do we know about the creation of the Ace Attorney series? Well, it was created by Shu Takumi, who wrote and directed the first three games. After working on the dinosaur survival horror game Dino Crisis for Capcom, he was given the opportunity to make any kind of game he wanted. He really wanted to make mystery and adventure games, and from that came Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney.
MC: Before developing Ace Attorney you worked on Dino Crisis. How does one go from dinosaur survival horror to virtual courtrooms?
ST: Dino Crisis was the brainchild of my then boss, Resident Evil creator, Shinji Mikami. Working on his projects taught me not only how to make games, but also how to think about them. After Dino Crisis 2 wrapped, Mr Mikami gave me six months in which to create any kind of game I wanted.
I was still pretty wet behind the ears, but as I'd originally joined Capcom with a desire to create mystery and adventure games, this was a huge chance for me to make my mark as a creator. In the end it took a team of seven 10 months to produce the first GBA Ace Attorney title. Having the freedom to create exactly the kind of game I wanted was amazing and it was a real pleasure to work on that project.
MC: Can you remember when the idea of Ace Attorney first came to you? How did your bosses respond to the idea of a lawyer-based adventure game when you first described it to them?
ST: It was in 2000 when Mr Mikami said I could make my own game and my original idea was a fairly typical adventure with a detective as the main character. Most mystery adventures have the player choose from a number of different dialogue options for their character in order to progress the story, but I wanted a new gameplay style that enabled players to deduce for themselves what was happening, rather than just selecting canned responses. I developed this into the concept of facing off against the suspect in a crime and exposing the contradictions in their statements.
I was sure my new idea would be a fun and original take on the genre, so I started to revise the main character, since a detective would be too traditional for such an original concept. I asked myself, "What kind of professional would face off against a suspect and expose their contradictory statements?" The answer, of course, was a lawyer and so the Ace Attorney concept was born.
(source, from an interview on the making of the series)
Takumiâs original concept for the game involved Phoenix as not a defense lawyer, but as a detective. The gameplay was to consist of âfacing off against the suspect of a crime and finding the contradictions in their statements.â However, Takumi eventually realized that taking apart contradictions wasnât really a detectiveâs job, and decided to change the protagonist to a lawyer and the setting to a courtroom instead. And thus, the gameâs concept was finalized.
Janet: As you know, âPhoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogyâ is coming out world-wide this winter, and as I was brainstorming what to write about for this weekâs blog, I remembered your tweets from 2010.
Takumi: Tweets from 2010?
Janet: âŠWell, it was a long time agoâŠ
Takumi: ???
Janet: I-Itâs OK if you donât rememberâŠ
Takumi: âŠOh, THOSE! Yes!
Janet: I remember reading them and being shocked by how different the original draft of the gameâs story was â how Phoenix wasnât even a lawyer, but a private eye!
Takumi: Yes, AA was originally supposed to be a detective game, so naturally, Phoenix was to be a private eye. But then, one day, I made a startling realization: the gameplay concept I was going for was for players to enjoy finding and taking contradictions apart, but that was hardly related to investigating or detective work at all. In that moment, I had it â I realized that the main setting for the game should be the courtroom.
Janet: Thatâs quite the jump, but you know, I canât imagine this series being anything else at this point.Â
(source, from an interview by Janet Hsu about the gameâs early development)
During the development for the game, Takumi actually knew very little about the intricacies of the legal system--and in fact, heâs been very transparent about that fact in interviews. Thereâs even a story he talks about in a blog post where he was asked âshouldnât we do some research on law before we make this game?â and agonized over it for a bit before deciding that being accurate about courtroom processes wasnât important--what was important was that the game made the trials exciting and fun.
November, 2000. The characters were coming together, and I was working desperately on my first scenario (the current Turnabout Sisters). One day, I was asked about the one thing I didnât want to be asked about.
âMr. Takumi. Donât we need to do some research on law?â
The knowledge I have about the law, pretty amounts to the one fact that in Japan we have the RoppĆ Zensho ('Complete Book of The Six Major Legal Codes').
âDonât bother with that. This is a detective game. â
It should have been over with this one line, butâŠ
âBut this isnât a detective game, itâs a lawyer game!â
âIf itâs not going to be realistic, I donât see why this should be about trials.â
âPeople who play this might get wrong knowledge from the game!â
âWe might get sued by the Bar Association!â
âTheyâll start complaining!â
âŠGyakuten Saiban (Ace Attorney GBA) is simply a âmystery game.âăâBeing realisticâ is not what is important. Whatâs important is emphasizing, and recreating the unique âatmosphereâ and âtensionâ of the courtroom. That is why the judge uses a gavel, even though no judge uses that, and why NaruhodĆ shouts "Objection!" even though nobody does that either.ăThis game does not need a ârealistic courtroomâ!
Chasing the true murderer down to the end, and then getting applauded for that in the courtroom. That feeling of thrill and excitement. It was only by February of the following year when we finally manage to recreate that in the game. The couple of months after this had happened, we looked around, got lost and troubled our minds in search for the answer of the big question of âHow do we make a trial into a game?â. Â Fall was passing by, and the cold winter was close upon us.
(source, from an archived blog post by Takumi)
So, realism and knowledge of law wasnât important to Takumi during the development of the series. But thereâs also the fact that Takumi has actually personally denied that the Ace Attorney series was an intentional satire or criticism of the court system at any point. In fact, according to a blog post (done as if Phoenix and Maya were reading the column and commenting on it), he actually dislikes people seeing his work this way, as he never intended the games to have any big political statements.
A major prerequisite for Gyakuten Saiban is itâs so simple âeven my mother could play itâ. Â So there is only one point at the core of the game: âSeeing through liesâ.
NaruhodĆ: It wasnât even supposed to be a game about the trials at first.
Mayoi: Eh! Really?!
NaruhodĆ: âSimpleâ is basically all this game is about, according to TakuShĆ«.
Mayoi: What do you mean?
NaruhodĆ: He didnât want to add all kinds of elements for the player to think about, like alibis, tricks or about the culprit. Itâd just confuse them.
Mayoi: Really.
NaruhodĆ: Basically, you can proceed in the game if you just think about where the contradiction is. He figured that with that, the controls of the game could also stay simple.
Mayoi: But, but, why the trials then?
NaruhodĆ: âA story about a detective seeing through liesâ wouldnât be any different from the other games out there. So thatâs why he decided to have someone whose job is seeing through lies as the protagonist.
Mayoi: So a defense attorney.
NaruhodĆ: Occasionally  TakuShĆ« sees magazines introducing the game as âa work that dared to take on the theme of trialsâ, and that actually hurts him.
Mayoi: He never meant to be something as big as thatâŠ.Â
(source, from the mentioned blog post)
Ultimately I see how easy it is, if you know a good amount about both Ace Attorney and Japanâs legal system, to come to the conclusion that the games were made as a dig against the latter. However, somewhere along the line, people apparently stopped seeing this as merely a theory and instead as a definite fact. Now, that doesnât mean that the theory is entirely unfounded--given that Takumi focused only on making trials interesting and fun in the games, you could say that the games work as an light, comedic parody, not meant to make any political statements. And hey, maybe thereâs something I missed--maybe there were other people working on the series who did have significant knowledge of law and wrote some parts of the games as intentional satire of the system. Again, if anyone has evidence of this, donât hesitate to provide it. But with what I know, I donât think going âwell actuallyâ to people who point out the ridiculousness and unfairness of Ace Attorneyâs court system is necessary. Itâs simply that way to make the games more fun.
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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.
Interview with MustangSally
MustangSally has 33 stories at Gossamer. Even if you havenât read it, youâve probably heard of at least one of them, Iolokus, since itâs an X-Files fanfic classic. All her fics hit big and are well worth your time. Iâve recced some of my favorites here before, including And Dance by the Light of the Moon, All the Children are Insane, and Iolokus. Big thanks to MustangSally for doing this interview.
What's the story behind your pen name?
I could tell you but then I would have to kill you.
Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?
Yes and no. Yes, because life has moved on since the early nineties and the characters and the fans are in vastly different places now. Our current tech would make the premise of the X-Files impossible. No, because of the longevity of some of the Star Trek TOS work (thereâs an archive of hard copy fanzines at the University of Iowa). Top-drawer authors started out in TOS fandom.
Iâm just greatly saddened that my physical body is showing wear and tear while the fic doesnât. Fic gets to stay smooth-skinned and muscular, captured at the peak of perfection.
What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?
At the risk of sounding atrociously trite, I think of the friends I made. Â I met some very remarkable women that Iâve been able to stay friends with online for over twenty-five years. Â We may have moved to Facebook and post entirely too much about our pets and which of our body parts has sagged this week, but weâre friends. Â Itâs a furiously funny, feminist, and well-educated group of women with jobs in the highest levels of academia, finance, communications, and media. Â Iâm amused by the fact that if I have a question about how a virus replicates, I can ask a PhD Iâve been drunk with in Las Vegas.
Back in the day, I had a job that sent me traveling around major cities in the US and UK. I could post on a message board and within ten minutes there were people I could go out for dinner and drinks with. We already knew we had something we could talk about for at least a couple of hours. Additionally, most of these people were women so there was an added level of security.
Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?
Well, it was mostly atxc and the Yahoo! groups mailing lists that spiraled out into Geocities sites and, eventually, LiveJournal. The amusing thing is that getting in on the ground floor of social media and the Internet has helped me get jobs! Â When I look at a new piece of software, I think, âthis is hella easier than uploading to Geocities.â Â We had to walk uphill both ways, in the snow, on dial-up, fighting off dinosaurs with our AOL CDs while writing HTML code.
What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?
DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.
The past four years in politics have basically been the ugliest online kerfuffle the world has ever seen. I survived the Shipper Wars of â96 and I thought those were brutal, but that was NOTHING. The only way to win an argument online is to not have the argument at all. Arguing with a troll is like mudwrestling a pig: You both get filthy and only the pig is happy.
Also, READ THE FUCKING TERMS OF SERVICE.
What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?
I had the most terrible straight-girl crush on Scully. I wanted to be her best friend, I wanted to BE her. Â I wanted to order Chinese food and paint each otherâs nails and talk about bones. Â Scully and Princess Leia and I could all just hang out poolside with hot and cold running waiters and poolboys, drink margaritas, and bitch about how unfair it all was â if the stupid men would just get OUT OF THE WAY AND LET US DO OUR JOBS, the world would be so much better.
What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?
This question is really about Iolokus, isnât it? Â You canât fool me. [Lilydale note: I can neither confirm nor deny the motivation for this question, but I cannot complain about the answer.]
Simply put, I was enraged. The moment it was revealed that Scullyâs ova had been used in experimentation, I lost my feminist mind. It was the most obscene defilement imaginable. Â Scully wasnât nearly as angry as I was. Â What I thought needed to happen was for Scully to become a fiery force of vengeance against the MEN who had done this to her. Â Clearly, I was not going to get that level of satisfaction from the show, as I was imagining Kali-like carnage on a global scale. I emailed RivkaT (whom I did not know well at that point) with a proposition that we work together. Strangely enough, we didnât meet face to face until we were well into the project, but we did talk on the phone quite a bit. The rules were simple â everyone had to be punished in truly horrific ways, and at some point, we had to see if we could write a car chase (only because that seemed impossible). Â Then it basically turned into a very twisted game of chicken to see who could be the most outrageous in terms of killing people off or writing really horrific things that fit within the structure of the narrative. Â I did, in the end, write the car chase, but RivkaT one-upped me by throwing in a helicopter (a FOX News helicopter, at that). Â
Really, RivkaT? Â A helicopter?
What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?
I am terribly proud of what I wrote, pleased that it brought pain and pleasure in equal amount to people, and, again, thrilled by the people I became friends with. I admit that I stopped watching the show when Scully announced her pregnancy. Â I could only see a long jump over a shark tank for the rest of the series. I havenât watched the new episodes, either. Â It is complete in my mind and doesnât need to be continued. Â I wouldnât say no to having a reunion with some of my fic friends, although weâre still chatting online like everyone does. Â
Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?
Rivka and I wrote in the Buffy fandom for a few years, but then we moved on to real adult jobs that left absolutely no time for me to write. Iâm in education, and I regularly sweat blood for fear that someone is going to find my old fic. The Buffy people were fun; there was a certain *shininess* to them that I really enjoyed. The X-men authors were just batshit and delightful, and some amazing stuff came out of Marvel fandom, particularly in the Thor/Loki and Steve/Bucky subgenres. Iâve learned to appreciate a good coffee shop AU and one famous Erik/Charles fic where all the main characters are crabs. Seriously, crabsâitâs hysterical. [Lilydale note: Other Crabs Cannot Be Trusted by groovyphilia currently has almost 2,500 kudos at AO3.]
Every few years, Iâll have a student try to explain to me what fandom is and I just smirk.
Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?
No. Not really.
Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?
I fell into an X-Men hole a few years back and had a great old time wallowing in the Cherik muck, and there was a flirtation with BBC Sherlock as well. Strangely enough, I became interested in A/B/O fics only because of what they were saying about the role of women in our society. The limitations on the male omegas seem absurd and then you realize those are the same limitations put on women all. the. time.
Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?
RivkaT very nicely formatted everything and put it up on AO3.
What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?
I will always be stupidly proud of how shocked and horrified people were by Iolokus. The truth of the matter is that Iolokus has Greek drama at its core. Scully is Medea, and the entire story is lousy with âblood on the threshing floorâ and Dionysian rites. The everyday is subverted into horror, and wives and daughters will tear men limb from limb like the Maenads. Since I was ultimately disappointed with what Chris Carter did with the entire show, that approach seemed appropriate.
At a certain level, all fic is corrective fic. Â Like critic Anne Jamison said, âIrritated fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.â Â And because fic has fallen so much into womenâs sphere, a pure form of correction is not just the death of the author but the MURDER, a new creation springing up from the spilled blood like Cadmus sowing dragonâs teeth.
Okay, thatâs a bit much. Maybe I should just take myself back to the isle of Goth Amazons or something.
Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?
I had to write a self-evaluation and a reflection on pedagogy today. If thatâs not fiction, I donât know what the fuck is.
All my creativity is caught up in trying to pretend to be a normal middle-aged white woman so no one knows I am really a lizard.
Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?
Keep writing, keep reading, keep fighting the commercialization of narratives. As things grow more and more commodified, all our dreams and desires reduced to tchotchkes made in China, itâs a revolutionary act to separate your work from the marketplace. Be bold, take chances, turn the trope on its ear and kick it in the ass. Take everything the creators have done to make a work palatable to the unwashed masses and set it on fire.
Be subversive.
Be mean.
Have a great fucking time.
(Posted by Lilydale on March 2, 2021)
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[18+] Words of pleasure - Law x F!Reader - Part 5
[No spoilers] [Modern AU - College AU]
[She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18]
Words : 6269
Archive of our own
Warning : Power play / Dom/sub Dynamics / Control / Stranger / Flirting / Aftercare / Awkwardness âŠ
If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask
â Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4
You: Sup doc, got home safely?
[You sent an attachment]
I chuckled for a second, making myself laugh at the picture of the crazy scientist from Back to the Future I had sent. Then when I looked at it more than five seconds, I just regretted it. âI should have flirted. I should have asked him if he was free soon. But I did that. Wow.â Gathering my stuff, I was expecting him to be asleep but received an answer in no time.
 Trafalgar Law đ·: Iâll admit itâs creative real first text. But donât send me that shit again, Iâm not an old man.
You: Hey, itâs hilarious. You mad because you asked me to call you doc and now you regret it.
Trafalgar Law đ·: I just hope you wonât see that in your head when youâll think of me, it can easily become a turn off, I think.
You: Damn, what if Iâm into older men?
Trafalgar Law đ·: Lucky for you Iâm older, then. Why are you still awake?
Trafalgar Law đ·: You should sleep, itâs late and you seemed tensed the entire evening.
You: Youâre worried about me? How cute, I thought you were just looking to dick me down.
You: But Iâm going to sleep soon, donât worry hot stuff, I was just showering before bed.
You: Who knows, maybe Iâll dream of you đ
 I read my message over, and over and as I saw him type and stop a few times I was quick to send another one.
 You: Yeah, ignore that. Iâm tired, Iâm not pushy promised. But you should sleep too, beauty sleep and all.
Trafalgar Law đ·: Depending on the kind of dreams youâre having, Iâll gladly join you.
Trafalgar Law đ·: Youâre cute. Iâll sleep in a few. I still have some things to do, Iâll be sure to send you a text in the morning to ask you what you dreamed of.
You: Right, bold of you to assume I remember my dream. And that Iâd share them with you.
You: But please go to bed, itâs getting super late.
[Trafalgar Law đ·sent an attachment]
Trafalgar Law đ·: Iâm in bed, donât worry.
 It was stupid, but I did laugh. He was sitting against his pillows, the simple black bed panel behind him. His hair was a lot messier than usual, but he did not look sleepy one bit. And he was still wearing his dress shirt, which clearly was in no way a pajama.
 You: Funny. Youâre a funny guy Trafalgar Law, wow. Youâre lucky youâre hot
You: Youâre still fully dressed, thatâs not going to sleep to me.
Trafalgar Law đ·: If you want to see me naked so bad, you have to work for it.
Trafalgar Law đ·: I did say Iâd enjoy you on your knees, it seems like a good place to start. But, all in due time, right?
 Chuckling at his text, I bid him a good night without replying to his innuendo which was more than an innuendo, really. Hopefully, an unspoken promise of a goodtime. I left the bathroom feeling a bit funny inside and put the toy away before sitting back on the bed. I was wearing a large shirt so that I could show my legs if the HandSurgeon asked and sat with my legs crossed on the bed before typing.
 Edelweiss: Back!
HandSurgeon: Your lap is pretty red; how does it feel?
Edelweiss: itâs alright, a bit sore but I like it, it reminds me of yeah⊠the discipline so yeah, itâs ok
HandSurgeon: Cute, you enjoyed it quite a lot. Maybe you could take more next time if you feel like it.
HandSurgeon: But itâd mean youâd have disobeyed, which you wonât do. Correct?
Edelweiss: yes, I wonât. SorryâŠ
HandSurgeon: Itâs alright, doll.
HandSurgeon: Is there something you enjoyed more this session? Or did not at all?
 Trying to remember the things he had said during the session, I was going to tell him that everything was good until I remembered that small thing he said, that I did not particularly enjoy. I didnât know if he was going to tell me to just get on with it and try to enjoy it or anything but trusting he wouldnât get mad I wrote down.
 Edelweiss: I really enjoyed your voice⊠thatâs for sure but I didnât enjoy being called a bitch in heat?
Edelweiss: it was alright right now though, but I donât know, I didnât vibe.
Edelweiss: sorry if youâre more of a degrader than praiser
HandSurgeon: I am sorry, I am indeed more used to be a bit rougher with my partner. Iâll be more careful next time, donât hesitate to tell me if you donât like something I do.
HandSurgeon: This is an exchange, weâre both in to enjoy it and have fun. And while I usually degrade, I am very much enjoying telling you how good you are. Even more so seeing how well you react.
HandSurgeon: You did good telling me your color, very good.
HandSurgeon: I believe edging was not in your list, but how did you enjoy it?
Edelweiss: soooo frustrating! And embarrassing to beg alright? But in a good way I guess⊠a very good way
 Pondering a bit more, I was curious. If we were giving feedbacks and asking questions, I could give it a go.
 Edelweiss: were you annoyed? That I touched myself.
HandSurgeon: Yes. I was. If I had you next to me, I would have brought you to my bed. I would have had you kneeling in the center, with that egg still inside you. The had you stripped down naked and would have looked at you. If you had moved, Iâd strike you down. Simple.
HandSurgeon: Youâd be begging in no time, really.
Edelweiss: it does sound kinda interesting though
Edelweiss: Iâd definitely be up to it if youâd enjoy it
HandSurgeon: Iâm sure youâd take it like very well, adding a blindfold to the mix would be even better.
HandSurgeon: You wouldnât know when Iâd strike. Jumping on the bed at the littlest touch. Goosebumps all over that pretty body of yours.
HandSurgeon: Running the tip of my whip over your skin. Barely grazing it. Then gripping the back of your neck and sliding my fingers through your hair. Pulling your head back to see that needy face of yours.
 I wanted to read more of him, see what else heâd do to me. I wanted to do something again. While my sex was sore, I could also feel the throbbing coming back and fuck was I ready to ask him if he had time to do it again. My body must have been moving on the screen, since I saw the new message from the dom.
 HandSurgeon: Stop fidgeting. There wonât be another session tonight, doll. I have to finish working, and youâŠ
HandSurgeon: Well, you need to eat something and drink some water. Go get some food. We can hang up if you want, or you can leave the camera on. I would not mind the little motivation of seeing my girl on the screen.
Edelweiss: I wonât stay long, I have classes tomorrow. Lemme grab some food, Iâll be right there!
Edelweiss: but admit it, you just want to make sure I eat and drink đ
HandSurgeon: I do indeed. Now, go.
 We then spent around 20 minutes on the call. I stayed with my camera on, still making sure he could not see my face, and ate up. He would reply a bit more slowly than during our session, since he was working, but when he did it was a lot lighter than usual. We talked of our lives, previous partners, preferences but it quickly turned to other topics. TV shows we enjoyed or had in common, hobbies, pets.
 I learnt he liked to sketch, mostly people, he never did art school and never wanted to but loved the human anatomy. He said he found it fascinating. I felt flattered when he suggested we find some free time so that he could draw me. I told him Iâd think about it, then we changed topics but kept off the more personal ones, such as family, school and city. The less we knew, the better. It was weird, getting to know him after I had let him do as he pleased with me. But doing so made it more interesting for some reason.
 I did not feel anything much for the man, but I enjoyed his company a lot. I had no plan of meeting him at all, and if I ever found someone, Iâd probably stop talking to him, which is something we both agreed on. This was just to get off, this was simply to both find that pleasure of having the power dynamic in play. It was interesting, and I never thought Iâd be doing this but here I was, having hung up on a stranger I should call my dom. Here I was, exhausted after masturbating for him. Following each of his instruction.
 Having had a taste of that side I had never ventured on, I realized I liked it a lot and I could see myself doing it more from time to time. Maybe not all the time, but in bed it was so intriguing.
 I surprised myself as I laid under my covers, slowly drifting to sleep, when a thought crossed my mind, I wonder if Law would do that⊠I shook the thought away, but it came back just as strong, I was curious. He would look at me with the same look he gave me all night, intrigued and yet clearly expecting all those reactions of me. Knowing what he was doing, knowing the effect he had on me. Whatever Iâd say, he wouldnât be surprised, as if he could read me. Heâd ask me those same questions he did that night, trying to get me riled up and I would let him. Would I imagine him as that man from online?
 Would I secretly be hoping he would be that good? Would I let him do as he pleased with me? Was I even going to go on a date with him? This last question had an answer already, we both hardly had any free time. I donât believe we had the same schedule either, itâd be too hard. But Iâd entertain the idea, it was fun. I was slightly excited if it did happen, after all he was attractive. And I could use the kind of fun he was suggesting, considering all the stress we must both be under.
 Turning in bed, I pulled my phone from under my pillow and texted Law.
 You: You better be asleep old doc, because I am hitting the sac. And ignoring your last text at the same time.
Trafalgar Law đ·: Shall I take that as a ânoâ?
You: Definitely not, but I want to know if your personality is as hot as your face, first.
You: For scientific purposes
Trafalgar Law đ·: Luckily, I did pretty well in sciences. Iâll help with your research then.
You: That means I can call you partner? Pardner đ€ in research of a fun time
Trafalgar Law đ·: Partner of fun, if you want. Pardner, no.
You: Dagnabbit, sad cowboy noise.
Trafalgar Law đ·: I think you need sleep, partner.
You: I definitely do, good night pardner. You should sleep too, you looked fucking tired tonight.
[Trafalgar Law đ· sent an attachment]
You: itâs pitch black?
Trafalgar Law đ·: Because Iâm trying to sleep, and you keep messaging me.
You: no oneâs forcing you to answer đ but good night pardner
Trafalgar Law đ·: Good night
 I did fall asleep soon after. It was a miracle I managed to keep the conversation that long considering how tired I was and yet I was able to exchange, albeit embarrassingly, with the hot guy. I did not know why I had sent him a message- who am I kidding I know why I did that. Not only was I in that post-orgasm daze but also, this little voice in my head kept considering him as a potential something.
 That something was yet to be determined, booty call? Romantic partner? Sex friend? I did not know yet, the only way to find out was that date. And perhaps, if it went well enough, the after-date part. Which I was excited about, maybe more than the date part.
 This time I did not dream of the HandSurgeon, I did however have a dream about Trafalgar Law. It was not as hot as the one I had the night before⊠But it was somethingâŠ
 In that dream, I had called him out of boredom while working on some stuff, and he had picked up mildly annoyed. But even though he was annoyed, he kept me on the line while making his way to his office and closed the door behind him.
 Then the mood changed, the ambiance too, the lights got slightly darker and suddenly I found myself in his office. He was leaning on his desk, arms crossed across his chest and seemingly expectant. I saw myself approach him with determination, I was but a spectator to that whole scene. I stopped right in front of him and let him grab my hands before he pulled them behind his back and turned me around so that I was now the one against the desk.
 The view changed and I could see him from up close now, he was looking down at me with a smug smile. I saw his lips moving but could not comprehend what he was saying. His tattooed hand travelled to my neck, gently brushing his thumb over it before grabbing my jaw gently. He spoke again and while I did not know what he said, I felt nervous, and slightly afraid.
 I tried to ask him to repeat, and maybe I did but I could not hear myself. He leaned forward and let his other hand graze the skin under my shirt before whispering. âEdelweiss⊠my sweet and pretty toy. So good for me.â I let my head fall back in pleasure from his touches but the constant feeling of confusion and fear only grew. I tried to understand why I was feeling like that, among the joy I felt upon hearing his word. Then it clicked.
 He doesnât know about Edelweiss- heâs not that man, he shouldnât know.
 Now Iâm in my bed. Looking at a screen, I can see someone on that screen, but I canât see it really. Then I understand who it is, HandSurgeon, but this time itâs Trafalgar Law. âYou want us to be the same.â
 âYou wish I was real, youâre so desperate for this to happen with me, with him, weâre the same to you, Edelweiss. You should think, wake up, realize that youâre making a mistake, wake up, we canât be the same, wake up, you just want it so bad-â
 âWake up!â I was startled awake by Nami, who was looking at me angrily, already fully dressed. âJesus, did last night tire you that bad?â How could she know what I had done last night? She wasnât even home- Trying to come up with anything, I was too sleepy to be embarrassed, then she spoke and cleared my mind. âYou know, if I had known socializing with Traffy would tired you that much, I would have brought him over a lot sooner. Maybe youâd finally catch some real sleep.â She explained as she kept her gaze on my, probably, sleep-marks adorned face.
 Sighing, she pulled the covers off my form without a second thoughts when I was unresponsive to her words. âThis time you have more than 5 minutes to get ready but move your ass or Iâll leave you there. Come on, hurry.â  She stopped by the door and made a compassionate face, âBy the way, donât worry, he exhausts me too. Itâs the smug face and the condescending attitude that just-â she made a sounds with her tongue against her teeth, âit ticks me off, you know?â She was gone right after.
 Looking at the doorway longer than I wanted to, I started drifting off to sleep when I was startled awake once more. My phone was ringing, and I was very much aware it was not my alarm. Stretching my arm to the bed table, I grabbed my phone and was surprised when I read the screen and saw it was Trafalgar Law. I picked up in confusion, âWhat do you want?â With the sleepiness and the confusion, my tone ended up being a bit more aggressive than I expected.
 âHow about you start with good morning?â I heard him chuckle, he was probably proud of that too. Rolling my eyes, I let my head fall back on the pillow and spoke again, âGood morning, do you need something?â I sighed and pulled my covers back on my form, hearing the blinker of his car in the background I guessed he was driving and was paying more attention to the road.
 âGood morning, did I perhaps wake you up?â He asked rhetorically but I could hear the smile on his lips. All I did was hum in return, still waiting for the reason he called me. âIâm free this Thursday, how does it sound for those⊠research?â He seemed reticent saying it, probably rolling his eyes at how stupid it sounded. Laughing in my throat in return, it was not charming but the way he said it made it too funny for my dazed state. âToo shy to call it a date? I need to check my schedule; I donât know if Iâm free.â Thinking heâd hang up, I instead heard him talk to someone before talking to me again.
 âThen go ahead and check, Iâll wait.â He unbuckled his seatbelt and rummaged through something while I checked on my phone, mumbling. âCanât you let a girl sleep? Donât you have a work to get to?â I opened the calendar but kept grumbling while doing so, âYouâre lucky Iâm not hanging up to go back to sleep.â While checking my schedule, I double checked if there was a time I could be free on Thursday and heard Law scoff.
 He huffed a laugh, âI think youâd have hung up by now if you did not want to talk to me, I donât think itâs luck, but interest.â Then a sigh as he got a bit more serious, âJust answer the question, I have to get going.â
 Scoffing, I brought the phone back to my ear, âYouâre just a pretty face for now, Doc. Donât bet on interest just yet. Now, Iâm free around 2 pm that day, if thatâs cool with you. But add like half an hour or so, it gives me time to get back home.â
 âGive me the address of your campus, Iâll come and get you there.â I heard the sound of the car door being slammed closed in the background, and the rustle of a bag. âIâm not about to refuse a car ride, itâs a bit odd but thank you!â I quickly sat up, suddenly feeling excited for my plans on Thursday. âDonât expect me to be dressed all chic though, if I have classes in the morning, itâll be comfortable and only slightly fashion.â I said lightly as I made my way to my wardrobe to start getting dressed for the day.
 âGive me a moment.â I heard the phone being moved a bit, a few muffled voices greeting the man, footsteps echoing on the ground accompanied by the hubbub of phones ringing, beeping sounds and people talking. While waiting, I was able to get dressed and go back to my desk to prepare my stuff. After a few minutes, I finally heard him. âYou were talking about your clothes, to be honest as long as itâs easy to remove, weâre good.â He said smoothly, I could hear the smirk, the smugness in his voice.
 I simply looked at the phone with surprise and pleasantness. That was interesting to say the least, and I was enjoying it. âYouâre not saying anything, Iâm assuming you agree. Good, then Iâll see you on Thursday? Donât be afraid to send me pictures if youâre curious about what clothes to wear, Iâd gladly help you pick.â I had to stand my ground, he was too smooth. Too much, too flirty, too⊠familiarâŠ?
 âJust for that, Iâll wear the most intricate clothes I have. Make it worth your while, you know?â While his laugh was beautiful, it was also condescending. I kept having mixt feelings about the man. âWell, if I am in a hurry, know that I am very skilled with sharp tools, and Iâd have no shame in tearing your pretty clothes apart.â The sound of the creaking chair in the background made me think he was probably leaning back on his chair. A quick thought crossed my mind, of going up to him and sitting on his lap and seeing what heâd do, but I shoved that thought away.
 Instead, I huffed in response and threw my bag over my shoulder. I tried to come up with a witty reply, making lame sounds with my mouth, but I had no matching energy. Even less this early in the morning. âAlright, sure, you win. I was not going to wear anything intricate anyway, even Iâm too lazy for that. Casual it is, so donât go looking all professional on me, please. Iâll feel off.â
 âPut it on my desk, Iâll be there in a few- itâs an important call, Iâm sure he can wait five more minutes⊠He doesnât have a choice, tell him to wait⊠Intern or not you can tell him to wait, how else do you expect to be taken seriously? ⊠ Well, tell him I am the one who said that, then, Tony... Right, now go- And close the door behind.â I felt bad eavesdropping like that, it wasnât a conversation I was meant to hear but it did not seem like any important information had been shared either. Except the fact that he said this was an important call when it clearly was not. It sent pride to my chest.
 Walking to the kitchen, I made a motion with my index to my lips to Robin and Nami when they started talking a bit too loud. I pointed at the phone, then wiggled my fingers before drawing an invisible circle on the back of my hand. I tried very hard to make them understand it was Law, but they seemed confused. Instead, I held my phone between my shoulder and my ear and spelled Law with both of my hands. This time they understood, I knew it from the huge grin on their face.
 âWe got interrupted, sorry about that. If you feel intimated by a professional look, I guess weâll have to drop by my place before going on that date. Do tell me if youâd rather I keep the medical coat-â Cutting him off, I needed to set things straight. âHey, I never said that was my cup of tea, okay? And Iâm not intimidated, Iâm sure youâre rocking the look- â I never sighed more loudly than at this very moment when Nami snatched the phone from my hand, and said, âAlright asshole, timeâs up, youâve had time to work your charm⊠no Iâm not doing thatâ
 Robin butted in next to the microphone and said, âSheâs all flustered, Traffy, good work!â I went to grab it back from the gingerâs hands but the stepped back and exchanged a few words with Law before handing me my phone back with a bright smile. Bringing it back to my ear, I rushed back to the corridor to avoid them eavesdropping more than they did in the kitchen.
 âSorry about them- for your outfit, wear whatever you want. I truly have no say in what youâre going to wear, plus youâll look hot with whatever you pick so, itâs a win-win.â I quickly said, earning a laugh from the man on the other side. âIâd love to see your face right now, Robin did say you were flustered. Guess weâll have to wait until Thursday.â He hummed, his tone having some finality to it. I knew it was my cue to hang up.
 âI wasnât flustered, I- at best embarrassed- no wait that sounds worst doesnât it? Anyway, see you on Thursday! Have fun at work, bye.â I waited until he bid me goodbye before hanging up. As I put my phone away, I leaned against the wall and sighed, letting my head hit the wall. âAre you okay?â Robinâs soft voice reached my ears, she was making her way towards me with a slight smile. Probably feeling a bit bad for going along Namiâs childish attitude only moments ago.
 Humming, I gave her a nod. But the words that followed were not matching the actions. âHeâs like, very hot. And I really want to fuck him, right? But heâs also pretty funny, and good at flirting?â
Squinting her eyes, Robin asked, âIs that a question⊠or?â
âNo, no, itâs facts and it confuses me! I was ready to just, hook up, but he could be more- I donât know maybe Iâm desperate.â I simply shrugged, leaving a silence between the black-haired woman and me.
 Looking up at her, she seemed to be thinking. Then she smiled, she was always the one with good advice but also a helpless romantic. âItâs a good thing isnât it? You donât need to worry too much, that date of yours will help you see if youâre really interested in him or not! If not, youâll have great sex- if yes, youâll still have great sex, and another date.â I groaned in reply, running a hand through my hair before giving her a short nod.
 âYeah, youâre right. Iâll just- live my life until then, I have other things to do than think of a man. By the way are you home tonight?â I asked her as we walked back to the kitchen where Nami was nowhere to be found, there was simply a piece of paper with the words âbring your ass to the carâ.
 Chuckling lightly, Robin shook her head. âI have to stay late at the library. Then Franky agreed to let me stay at his place, since itâs closer.â We talked a bit as we made our way to the door, where she wave me goodbye before closing the door gently behind me.
 When I was back in the car, Nami had one of her earbuds on and was talking more gently than sheâd usually talk to someone. Which means she was talking to Vivi. I did not interrupt and instead grabbed my phone and saw a message from HandSurgeon.
 HandSurgeon: Are you feeling better? Donât forget to stay hydrated, Iâll be a bit busy this week, but I can find time if youâd like.
Edelweiss: shit, just saw your message! Sorry, crazy morning. I am definitely sore, but itâs good, I can move so thereâs that!
Edelweiss: Also, I might be a bit away from Wednesday to Friday, I am seeing someone and knowing how our session leave me pretty sore, Iâd rather you knowâŠ
Edelweiss: be in good shape
Edelweiss: for a good fun
Edelweiss: a good fuck
 This time, I did not have a prompt reply. I put my phone away and itâs only halfway through my day, while I was working on something at the library, that I received a reply from him. Iâll admit, I had been expectant the entire morning for an answer. I had been deep in textbooks for so long, I was craving for any sort of interaction, from anyone. Which explained the speed at which I unlocked my phone to see the text from HandSurgeon, and even one from Trafalgar Law.
 I hesitate for a moment, then opened discord.
 HandSurgeon: Itâs fine, you are allowed to have a life you know. Simply tell me if you want to stop this, or not, you know⊠if your someone is not the one and you still need a good fuck.
HandSurgeon: I will also be busy on Thursday, Iâll try to send you a text if I get some free time.
HandSurgeon: I just finished a long meeting, would you be up for a fun game?
 I stared at his messages, feeling a bit excited suddenly. But knowing myself, I would say yes, so I had to answer to Law first before spending my time sexting the stranger.
 Trafalgar Law đ·: Iâm sorry we had to cut our conversation short, how was class? I have a bit of free time, if youâd like to talk about our research meeting.
You: Thatâs actually pretty cute, thought you were just a horny piece of meat but damn, you surprise me.
You: I am still on campus, drowning in work. Iâd love to talk, but I need to focus, text me later? đ€
 Going back on discord, I felt strange. I wanted to say yes, to play his game, but it felt wrong for some reason. I was double texting and it felt like I was cheating on a man I was not even dating. I ignored the thought and typed back.
 Edelweiss: I kinda wanna know, but also really need to get back to work. So, Iâll have to decline.
Edelweiss: But Iâm curious, what was the game?
HandSurgeon: Itâs quite alright, I was going to suggest youâd take a pretty picture for me no matter who was around. But you are busy, so Iâll leave you be. Focus on your work. Iâll talk to you later.
HandSurgeon: But for âemotional supportâ, Iâll give you this:
HandSurgeon : [sent an attachment]
 I snorted at his words, and smiled when he sent me a picture of his gloved hand gripping the wheel of his car tightly. I did comment on wearing gloves while driving, even though they were not medical gloves and it had some charm, it was very movie-like. And suspicious.
 After that, I put my phone down and got lost in work. I did not even see time fly by, what informed me that it was indeed a few hours later than I thought, was the grumbling of my stomach. âI think itâs time to call it a day.â I mumbled while packing everything up. With the books put back where they belonged and my laptop tucked away, I made my way outside and was walking through the parking lot when I saw a familiar mop of hair making its way towards me.
 I suddenly felt self-conscious and straightened my back before meeting his gaze and frowning in confusion. âAre you stalking me?â I patted my pockets in emphasis, before saying âDid you put a chip somewhere, or-â Law shook his head as if I was being crazy. âBro, itâs super super sus that youâre at my campus when I never gave you the address-â
âI asked Robin. I was going to ask Nami but she wouldnât have given me anything.â He explained as if it was obvious.
 Looking around, I opened my mouth and closes it a few times. It was a bit awkward. âWhy are you here, then?â I asked, still confused, my eyes squint in suspicion.
âRight- give me a moment.â He turned around and took a few long strides to get to his car and get something from the passenger seat before coming back. Even though his steps were hurried, there was still this elegance to it that I could not ignore.
 âI am very familiar with long hours of studying, so hereâs a drink and some food. I used to skip meals, because Iâd get too much into it. Donât do that, eat.â While what he said seemed caring, he was not smiling or anything. But the gesture was so sweet I couldnât help but smile.
âItâs very nice of you,â I said, tucking my hair behind my ear jokingly in faux-shyness before going back to a normal demeanor. âBut I was going home. I was done for the day, here,â I handed it back to him before trying to find my wallet in my bag. âLet me, just- how much do I owe you?â
 He stopped me from rummaging through my back and ruffled my hair before handing me the drink and food back. âNothing, I was passing by. Now I am sure to not get lost when Iâll come and get you on Thursday.â He winked, then looked back at his watch a moment. He seemed to ponder something for a moment, before looking up at me. âWould you like me to drop you off at your house? I have a bit of time before going back to work.â He asked kindly, showing me his keys as if trying to coo me.
 âMaybe you should go eat too? Iâll take the bus, itâs alright.â Smiling, the man pointed at his car with a certain pride. âOh donât worry, I got myself something too. It could be our first lunch date, you are so bent on traditions, so why not lunch?â
 I felt my cheeks heat up and pushed him playfully, careful not to spill the drink I had in my hand. âIâm not bent on traditions, I just barely know you, doc.â I looked to the side and shrugged before walking past him, âLetâs get lunch.â I said over my shoulder. I heard the man laugh in the back, then the jingle of keys.
 I tried to open the door but found it locked. I stated the obvious, âI canât get in if itâs locked.â I was about to complain more, when he leaned over his side of the car and grinned. âAsk politely, and Iâll let you in.â I hated him, but the smile on my face was a betrayal of how I really felt. He was a little shit, but it was still fun. Rolling my eyes, I mimicked his action and rested my arms on the roof of the car, âCould you please unlock the car, doc?â âGood girl, was it that hard?â
 I turned my head towards him so fast I may have pulled a muscle in my neck, but the way he said it made it a lot more than just a nickname. He was testing the waters for something, and I had given him the exact reaction he wanted. âWhat, do I call you daddy now?â I said sarcastically while getting inside the car and buckling my seatbelt while he held everything before placing them back on my lap.
 âNot my thing, but Iâm sure weâll get to that conversation later.â He smirked as he put something in the glove box before closing it back and meeting my intense gaze as he leaned back on his seat. I was observing each and everyone of his action, feeling out of place in his car. I had met the man last night, but for some reason he felt familiar. Perhaps it was his aura, perhaps he was just that reassuring. No, clearly not, he looks threatening⊠âSomething on your mind? I donât know if youâre looking at me like you want kill me or fuck me,â Extending his hand towards me, he placed his index under my chin and lifted it, I quickly grabbed his hand like last time to stop him.
 âMaybe both, maybe none-â With a short smile, he interrupted me, âDonât be like that, Iâll ask differently. Are you uncomfortable? I havenât done this in a while, so Iâm trying to take it slowâŠish.â He admitted. I could see on his face he was feeling just as sheepish as I was. Clasping my hands on my lap I chuckled nervously, âIâm good, I was justâŠ. Observing. Youâre doing good, simply putâŠâ I trailed off and met his gaze with a playful grin, âYeâre a looker pardner,â I then tipped my non-existent hat, which made him laugh genuinely.
 âYou were just in awe?â He asked a bit surprised, hiding his bashfulness behind a laugh. âExactly, take the compliment and donât mention it again. Now drive, or youâll get back late at work.â I huffed, looking at the window with warm cheeks. I felt a pull at my hand and looked at it confused, âIâd love to, but youâre still holding my hand.â I quickly let go and threw his hand back at him, âIt was to make sure you werenât going to do the whole,â Making a gesture with my hands in the air, wiggling my fingers, I continued, âChin thing again.â
 Even though he agreed, only giving me a curt nod along with a âRight.â, I could see the smile on his face as he started the car. Looking at him from the corner of my eyes, I matched his smile discretely as I looked back at the road.
 The volume of the music wasnât loud, I could hear the fabric of his coat as he maneuvered, the blinkers, my own nervous heartbeat. There was no reason for me to feel so nervous, we were just going to eat lunch then go our separate way. To try to calm down, I rummaged through my brain for topics to talk about, small talks was fun in social events but in one on one, it was a fucking disaster.
 Do you have any pets? Do you like cats? Maybe talk about his job? How long did he study? Or funny topics, less social, more creative? Politics is off the table, itâs not that great of a first date conversation. Whatâs your favourite colour? What part of your body to your prefer-
 I blurted out a question to try to fill the silence. And fuck did I regret it, I shouldnât be allowed to speak when in that state, but it was too late. âSo⊠whatâs your favourite body part?â Wait, no, fuck, notâŠ
[Part 6]
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omg hiiiii i am here from cat (@luvdsc) wondering if you could offer any advice about college apps đ especially about the uc piqs? thank you so much i hope ur doing well!!!!!!!!
yes yes hello friend !! đ miss cat directed you to me because i did my college apps last year !!! (yikes one year passed already?? why does that feel ages ago đ€§)
first of all, congratulations on making the decision to apply to college !! i know itâs been hard for a lot of people our age to figure out the college situation recently, so iâm proud of you for choosing to take the extra step this summer to buckle up and write those essays đ
iâve compiled a few tips on answering the PIQs (i was actually in the middle of typing this up when i received your ask haha), but some of them can be applied to other essays, as well !! theyâre all under the cut (because, unfortunately, being brief is not my forte) đ
(and for reference, the prompts i chose were #2 (creativity), #6 (subject), #7 (community), and #8 (anything) !!)
tip #1: understand the prompt.
before you even begin writing, itâs important to understand what the question is really asking. for the UC PIQs, this will look different depending on which four prompts you decide to do.
in question one, for example, they want to know about your skills in leading others, but notice that theyâre also curious about your resolution abilities and teamwork experience. or in question two, they donât want to know that you paint and that you love paintingâthey could be asking how resourceful you are, how you think outside the box when you have an idea.
once you know the question youâre going to be answering, you can move on to brainstorming!
tip #2: write down three (3) key takeaways.
these are like the most basic, not-even-a-sentence answers you would give to each question. so for me, in response to question eight (âwhat do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for the UCs?â), my answers were perseverance, courage, and character. i had a story about that, so i wrote about my experience with martial arts.
i recommend you do something similar. decide on three things that you want to communicate to your audience, and write them in the footnote of your document. your goal is to cover all three points so that, if anyone were to read your essay, they would walk away understanding those three things about you.
i found this strategy really helpful for keeping my essay streamlined while writingâif a sentence didnât relate to any of those main points, i would cut it since those words would take up valuable space in the word count. stay focused on what needs to be in this essay, and if you have extra words left in the word count later, you can add those details back in.
and once youâre done with your essay, make sure to refer back to your takeaways and check that you covered all of them sufficiently!
tip #3: highlight your stories.
i sent cat an ask a couple days ago with a few pictures of my response to an end-of-year college counseling survey that referenced this tip (you can find it here). basically i said that, when choosing what topics to write about, pick things that interest you! if you get excited talking about it, your audience should get excited about reading it, because theyâll pick up on the passions you have and then everyoneâs excited !!! :D
iâll tell you a secret: everyone you meet, everyone you see, has countless unique experiences that few others may have. me? i spend hours making mashups out of kpop songs. i earned my black belt years after a traumatizing experience during training. i get russian harry potter and spanish dr. seuss books from the library. and i created a collaborative online google photos album for my classmates that now has thousands of entries. although these arenât necessarily unique to only me, theyâre still special enough to the point where, when you put them all together, you get a better image of the person i am, and what i value.
so find a story, a habit, a hobby that makes you different, because i believe that everyone has them. give them some food for thought, or that one-liner that sticks in their brain and wonât go away. and remember: these stories donât all have to be extraordinaryâthey should be about people or moments of special value to you, because thatâs what matters.
personal tip: when i was brainstorming ideas, i decided that the best way to get ideas out there was to go on a rant (because sometimes it helps to just have a conversation with yourself !!) and i recorded myself, so i could replay what i said !! this was so so crucial to me finding my own voice for writing essays. notice the way you word things when you talkâa good line or two may make it into the final draft :)
i found it helpful to read sample essays as well! they give a lot of great ideas on the kinds of topics people write about. (also, itâs kind of fun, because who doesnât love a good story?)
but the people reading your essay wonât be there to just enjoy your story; what they really want you to do is to tell them what you learned from your experience. they want to know whether youâre teachable and willing to grow both as a student and as a young adult. so make sure to take note of the life lessons you learned, experience you gained, character you built, etc.
minor tip on ending your essay: if youâre telling a story that happened in the past, then close with what you learned and how you can apply that to your life moving forward. if youâre telling a story that has no definite end yet (like a passion or dream you have), you probably donât have everything figured out (and you can say that in your essay!), so it might be better to close with your hopes for the future.
tip #4: ask your family for help.
peer-editing is one of the most effective ways to detect errors and inconsistencies in your writing, because, after staring at your essay for so long, you might gloss over glaring contradictions. for all of my essays, i printed them out and asked my parents to help me revise them. weâd meet every other night (or every night, depending on how much time was left) to review and discuss improvements.
i actually kept some of those printed drafts (only the first and the final ones for comparison), and let me tell you from experienceâyouâre probably going to have a lot of drafts (i think the most i did was seven? but you donât need to go that far!). this part of the process does take some time, so remember to be patient and kind to yourself :) these essays wonât happen overnight!
enlisting the help of others also helps keep you accountable. one of the struggles many seniors face while writing essays is just... setting aside time to do them. and even though the constant reminders from your parents will definitely get repetitive and a bit stress-inducing, i can tell you from personal experience that iâm so glad they did; otherwise, i donât think iâd have my essays done in time :â)
while writing college essays is challenging, your family will be there supporting you each step of the way. chances are that theyâll have their own pointers to pass on to you, since they probably remember doing this process themselves! and, out of everyone in your life, they probably remember the most about you (because you probably donât remember much when you were four or five), so they might have a couple starter ideas for topics when brainstorming. you can rely on them for their advice and their experience.
tip #5: self-editing.
hereâs the part that takes the longest time.
use action words. this is probably something youâve heard all throughout elementary school where they didnât like you to say âsaidâ because it was âboringâ⊠but honestly, the difference between âdoing my own versionâ and âinfusing it with my personalityâ could go a long way. also, use words that you would actually use in an essayâthen itâll have your own special flair, and not sound like itâs taken from some stuffy 80s textbook!
here are some of the words i used (once again, you shouldnât use these words if they donât sound like something youâd write/say): potential, overlay, wrestle, launch, analogous, weave, infuse, experiment, outlet, revel, fascinate, satisfaction, pursue, expand, distinction, capture, range, archive, engage, beyond, build, adversity, cultivate, preserve, commit, explore, convey, naturally
also, be on the lookout for repeated words. i once wrote an essay without noticing that i used âhopeâ three times in the same paragraph. donât do that! use synonyms :) personally, i tended to run short on synonyms, so i always kept a tab or two open on my computer reserved for searching up new words.
side note: unfortunately, during my search for synonyms, i discovered that thesaurus.com just didnât give me what i was looking for. i highly recommend using wordhippo instead; it has so many more options and theyâre grouped by the different definitions of your word! i found the synonyms i needed really quickly and it was very satisfying!
avoid the passive voice! my teacher gave me this tip for theses or any other college-level writing. hereâs an example of the passive voice: âthere was a large part of me that wanted to turn back.â thatâs twelve words taking up precious space in your word count! instead, say something like, âi considered turning back.â youâve just freed up eight words :)
tip #6: final revisions.
this is the step where you fine-tune your essays. meet that word count.
read your writing out loud. does it sound like you? it should. every writer has a different voice, and you need to ensure that yours is pervasive throughout your essay. feel free to use contractionsânot only do they reduce your word count (this was a good thing for me, since i had a problem with getting under 350 words), but they also give a more casual tone to your essay, as if youâre telling a story to someone in the room.
next, pretend to be an admissions officer and have someone else read your essay to you. do you get excited hearing about this student who shares your name? if you do, thereâs a good chance the real admissions officers will love your essays, too. this also gives you a chance to review to your essay as a whole. pay attention to the overall flow. is there a clear beginning and end? do you resolve the issues and overcome the trials you brought up? listen to it as if itâs a story, and take this time to enjoy what youâve written. you worked hard!
final thoughts / encouragements.
oh my goodness, did we make it to the end? honestly if you did, thank you so much đ„ș
okay but despite my relatively optimistic tone throughout this post, iâm still going to be honest with youâthe college essay writing process is difficult. it requires you to look inside yourself and analyze the âwhyâ behind some of the things that you love, and that isnât easy to do at all. itâs intellectually and emotionally challenging, because not only do you need to use so much energy writing, but you also have to dig deeper to understand yourself, and thatâs not easy, either.
but i wanted to encourage you, too. no matter what you may think of yourself at 12am, 2am, 4am writing these essays, believe you have a personality that others love and will love when they meet you. you are an interesting person with unique experiences who deserves to share your thoughts with others. you have so many people behind you, supporting you during these next few months. and when you find that you canât write any more, remember to take time to care for yourself. have a warm shower. go to bed early. i could go on and on about why sleep is good for your brain but iâll spare you the details in this post đ
one last thing: keep the bigger picture in focus. remember, by december or january, you will be finished with most of the application process. thatâs no small accomplishment. you can do it. đ
i really hope you found tips that you were looking for, and that theyâre applicable to your own PIQs and other essays !! if you have any other questions, feel free to send in another ask (i promise my response wonât be this lengthy LOL) đđ
oh, and if you feel comfortable enough reaching out about anything in particular, iâm only a DM away đ i wish you the best of luck on writing your essays and i hope you enjoy your final year of high school !! đđžđđ
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The Problem With Hetalia (As told by someone who actually in the fandom until like, 2016)
I'm hoping this post will explain to people who are still into Hetalia why a lot of people have an issue with from the perspective of someone who knows a lot about the show.Â
TL;DR: By making the WW2 axis powers come across as a lovable idiot, his serious friend, and the stoic voice of reason, it downplays the serious nature of what the Axis did and seeing as the real-life Axis harmed real-life people, many people have a justifiable huge issue with this.Â
I will go more into depth about this under the cut.
A lot of people are talking about how Hetalia is coming back after 5 years and a lot of people are rightfully annoyed at the show. But what I'm seeing is that a lot of the people who are upset are people who clearly haven't watched the show and therefore are unable to explain to people who have watched it why itâs bad. The most that you hear is:
"it glorifies the Axis Powers" (which isn't 100% accurate although the assessment that they are portrayed in a way that makes them seem less bad is accurate)Â
"Hetalia Cosplayers wore Nazi uniforms in front of a Holocaust memorial" (which I'd say is more of an issue with fans than the show).Â
That is not to say that there isn't an issue with the show, because there really is. But these observations are unlikely to mean much to someone who watches Hetalia. So, in this thread, I'm going to explain why Hetalia is Problematic with the added context perspective of someone who was into the show during most of middle school and until Freshman year of high school.Â
I knew the human names, used to jam to "Always With You" and "Pub and Go" and âItâll Settle Itself Somehowâ and âLight my Heartâ and âAbsolute British Gentlemanâ and âMein Gottâ and âWorld Rondoâ and âExcuse Me, Iâm Sorryâ and so, so many more.Â
I lost my shit with everyone else when the season 6 ep dropped and Italy danced like he was possessed by a demon. When I hear âACEâ family, I donât think of Youtubers. I actually took a side on the FruUK vs UsUk debate and if you look in my archive, you can probably find some Hetalia posts that Iâm too lazy to delete.
The point here being, Iâve actually seen the show so I know what Iâm talking about. This isnât an outsiders perspective is what Iâm saying.
So, letâs get right into it. While technically only seasons 1-2 are officially actually called "Axis Powers" (Seasons 3-4 are called "World Series" Season 5 is "Beautiful World" and Season 6 is called "World Twinkle") WW2 and things relating to the Axis Powers are an important part of every season and appear prominently.
While Hetalia has covered many things from all different time periods, the two most common periods covered are the modern-day and of course, the second World War. The show is Japanese and (I assume) because Japan was on the Axis side, these portions focus more on the Axis Powers of Italy, Japan, and Germany. The Allies do come into play. And while the Allies aren't directly like, evil, which would've been FAR WORSE they've got a kind of Team Rocket-esque thing going on? They're not exactly mustache-twirling villains but they're clear antagonists. Make no mistakes.
I think the deserted Island arc is the best example of the problems many people have with the show.
Take for example, that beach fight. If you've watched Hetalia, you'll know the one I'm talking about. The one that they reused like, 50 times. The Allies are clearly shown as the antagonists/aggressors while the Axis are literally just vibing on a (kinda) deserted island and defending themselves.Â
Now, if this was three dudes chilling on the beach and they suddenly got attacked by another five dudes also on the beach who they then fought off until the five attackers ran away thatâs be one thing.
The issue is that this is supposed to be a representation of WW2. It's basically saying "oh, Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan, and Fascist Italy were literally just vibing, not bothering anyone when suddenly, the Allies attacked for no reason. Luckily, they (the Allies) retreated because the Allies are Cowardly but they keep coming back and bothering them,". Do you see the issue there? Most of the beach arc seems to be the writer forgetting that these are supposed to be Nations, not a random Italian dude, a German dude, and a Japanese dude.
âOh, but they donât glorify Nazi Germany. They donât really even talk about what Germany was doing! Look at this pic of Germany in a lab coat holding a dandelion :)â
Thatâs not the defense that you think it is and itâs actually a main part of the issue that I, and many other people have with Hetalia.
I think the scene where this issue is the most obvious is the one where they are gathering around a campfire and talking and one of them comes up with the name "the Axis". The whole scene has the same energy characters in a moe anime coming up with a band name.
Theyâre sitting on a beach at night. I think there mightâve been a campfire, the stars are out, and the three of them talk about their dream of making a world that revolved around them. One of them comes up with the name âthe axisâ and then they all talk about how you would translate "axis" in their language. Itâs all very found family-esque. The way the scene is framed is to encourage you to route for them to reach their goal. Itâs the same kind of tone youâd see in a shoujo with a girl telling her friends about how she wants to win the singing competition no matter what or in Sword Art Online when Kirito talks about saving Asuna.
The issue is that their goal isnât to win some competition or to save someone they care about. Itâs to spread facism, imperialism, and bring about genocide.
There of course donât SAY that thatâs their goal, and outside of a one off line in the English dub thatâs been since censored, they donât really bring up what Germany was up to during WW2 vis-a-vie the Holocaust and if they did bring it up, I either wasnât paying attention, it was in the manga, or it was in one of Germanyâs character songs.
The issue is that during WW2 the show seems to at best forget and at worst, gloss over it that the main trio that they're focusing on are the villains. And not like, fantasy villains. Actual real-life villains that hurt real people in the real world. Imagine if instead of Ludwig Beilschmidt and Feliciano Vargas, it was Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini.Â
Are you seeing the problem yet?
I get why people like to watch the show. Ignoring the WW2 bits, itâs actually pretty good. I, as an American, really like Alfred F. Jones and the way heâs portrayed.
If Hetalia had stuck to non-WW2 related things such as that episode where the nations all talk about how horror movies differ in their nations, or they talked about their Christmas traditions. Or the ones where America and Japan are roommates. Or when they showed that time when America airdropped XL condoms on Russia labeling them as "small" for intimidation reasons. Or that series of episodes where they talked about Micronations. Or that time they all had to come together to fight aliens. Or the bit where they talked about the WW1 Christmas Armistice. Then it would be fine.
The issue is that they didnât.
If they kept WW2 stuff for SOME reason. They had two options.Â
Make the axis as proper villains
 Be explicit in showing that the nations will doesn't reflect what their leader wants.Â
The first option wouldnât be ideal if they wanted to cover any time period other than World War 2. The axis would be too unlikable and I doubt that an anime where Japan is the villain would appeal much to Japanese audiences.
But what about the second option. Have a bit where Ludwig is passing out White Rose pamphlets or smuggling people to safety.
Have Kiku (Japan for people who donât watch Hetalia) purposefully looking the other way as Sugihara writes visas to get people to safety and covering for him against his boss. SOMETHING!
But instead of doing either of those, they took the bad third option which was, their choice to instead make the axis seem like likable individuals who are a group of three good friends who work together will in contrast with the âbumbling Alliesâ who are barely cohesive and constantly fight and argue. At best, makes it seem like both sides had a point and at worst, makes it seem like the Axis was a better than the Allies.
All of this is to say that liking Hetalia does not make you inherently a bad person, but you need to be more critical of what you watch and understand that there is a reason that some people have a genuine issue with it and they have a very good reason for that. You can still watch it the show, but do keep this information in the back of your brain as you do
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FFXIV: A Synthesis of Aether
#FebHyurary Day 17: Food + Day 18: Music
A/N: So I had too many ideas for yesterday, but knew for today touching on Synnoveâs aether synesthesia would work well, and then I said, âDT YOU FOOL YOU CAN COMBINE BOTH DAYS FOR HER AETHER SYNESTHESIA.â And lo: a fic! Mostly dialogue, I havenât done a dialogue heavy ficlet in a loooong time so I feel a bit rusty, but this was a fun exercise!
RATING: T
WORD COUNT: 1455
WARNINGS: None!
---
[Installing SCAEVAN SYSTEMICS operating software.]
[Installation successful, running update cycle.]
[Updates complete. Archive Node Unit 453 now online. Please specify primary user.]
âSynnove Greywolfe.â
[USER: SYNNOVE now registered. How may I assist you today?]
âPlease stand by for audio recording.â
[Standing by.]
The nodeâs lights dimmed from bright grass green to soft seafoam as it partially powered down, its northern and southern hemispheres slowly rotating in opposite directions.
Synnove lowered her hand and glanced over at Rereha. âAll right, you can babble now,â the Highlander said.
Rere took her hands off her mouth to tug at her braided pigtails and beamed at her. âWhatcha doing?â she said, in the sing-song tone of someone feeling exceptionally nosy, rocking back on her heels.
Synnove rolled her eyes and set her hands on her hips. âYâshtolaâs working on a compilation of aetheric synesthesic perceptions as a downtime project,â she said. âShe asked me if I was willing to contribute, to which I obviously said âyes.â But because Iâm not often able to spend much time in Revenantâs Toll that doesnât devolve into Warrior of Light or Ironworks businessââ
ââaudio recordings you can send or give her are more convenient.â
âCareful, Rere, or other people will begin realizing youâre smarter than you pretend to be.â
The lalafell gasped. âMadam, you wound me!â
She received a satisfied smirk in reply as Synnove added, âAnd what better way to create an audio recording than with my new archive node?â
Rere pulled herself up onto Synnoveâs desk, sitting on the edge and kicking her feet back and forth as she leaned back to rest on her hands. âDid you liberate it from the Ironworks?â
âI purchased this fair and square, I have a bill of sale from Jessie herself.â
âNeroâs OS?â
âThe fact you know that term is vaguely frightening, but the man does have an unparalleled understanding of Allagan technology and if you tell him I said that, I will hang you by your toes from the edge of the Steps of Faith.â
Rere mimed locking her lips.
âHand me that stack of paper, please.â Synnove pointed to Rereâs right. The lalafell snagged it and dutifully handed it over.
The arcanist shuffled through them, humming tunelessly as she did, before she came across the correct page. âAll right,â she said, mostly to herself. âStart with Yâshtolaâs list of baseline sensations today and go from there.â Louder now: âBegin recording.â
[Audio recording now live.]
Synnove automatically straightened her spine and rolled down her shoulders in the same way she did before she began a lecture for the fourth-year arcanist students. In a clear, strong voice: âSynnove Greywolfe recording for Yâshtola Rhul on the 18th day of the Second Umbral Moon, 11 Year of the Seventh Astral Era, on the subject of synesthetic perceptions of aether. I personally perceive aether, in addition to visual manifestations, as both taste and sound. Occasionally, one sensation will dominate the other, and certain sounds and tastes arenât exclusive to one elemental type.
âFor this recording, Iâll describe the overall generalities I associate with different elemental aether; variance is high depending on factors such as location or origin, in terms of ambient or crystallized aether, or in the case of spells, if they are being performed correctly or are altered in some capacity.â
âHow to spot the catastrophic boom just before the boom becomes catastrophic and itâs too late to do anything about it.â
Synnove sighed. Rere giggled.
âYâsthola, remind me to recalculate the angle needed to ensure Rere lands in Silvertear if thrown from the highest tower in the Toll.â
âHey!â
âYouâd be fine, Hydaelyn likes you best.â
Rere pouted, lower lip pushed out to the point of exaggeration, which meant she wasnât actually offended.
âTo get back on topic: fire. Fire aether most frequently tastes like hot spices, such as peppers; coffee; red meat, such as buffalo; bitter chocolate; cherries; wine. Sound tends to be uniformly brass instruments such as horns and trumpets; very occasionally it can sound like metal striking metal.
âEarth aether is auditorily simple and gustatorily complex. The sound of earth is always rhythmic and steady, if not outright drumming; the sensation of it echoing follows fairly often, too. Taste runs a huge gamut: savory or sweet seasonings, such as cumin or cinnamon; white meat, such as pork; most vegetables, particularly green or starchy vegetables; certain fruits such as apples and figs; bread; cheeses; stews; whiskeys.â
âIâd call most of those foods âhomey.ââ
Synnove frowned thoughtfully. âThatâs a fair assessment,â she said after a moment. âEarth aether tends to âtasteâ comforting.â
âDoes that mean Tyr is the ultimate comfort food?â
âDoes that mean you want to go flying out of my office window into the harbor?â
âIâm going to shut up now!â
âSee how long that lasts,â Synnove said under her breath while her sister smiled beatifically. âWhere was I⊠Ah, wind.â
The Highlander frowned. âWind aether is another oddity, taste-wise. Mint tends to present quite frequently, along with sweet chocolate, white grapes, vanilla, white wine, arak, olives, and scallions. Thankfully when it seems to be a combination of flavors, itâs complimentaryâŠâ She shook her head. âSound is similar to flutes, chimes, whistles. Bit stereotypical, honestly.
âLightningâŠâ Synnove paused, frowning again. âSound tends to be similar to specific string instruments such as violas and cellos; deeper sounds. Low notes on a piano or harpsichord, sometimes simple humming or vibrations. Taste does not tend to be strong, but most frequently has manifested as berries and/or stonefruits. Alcohols such as gin, palm wine, ouzo, and brandy.â
âThat is not the element Iâd consider boozy,â Rere said idly. She had lain back on the desk and was staring up at the huge arched ceiling of the tower office, twiddling her thumbs.
Synnove shrugged without further comment, already looking at the next item on the list Krile had transcribed on Yâshtolaâs behalf. âWater is what one would think would be boozy but I have legitimately never tasted âboozyâ water aether before. Tropical fruits dominate; in terms of savory, as horrifically stereotypical as it is, seafood. But almost never in a way that makes sense, I once found a water cluster in a bluefin tunaâs belly that tasted like Coerthan oyster confit.â
âI remember that, you made the weirdest face.â
âI still canât find the words to describe just how fucked up that taste versus visual dichotomy was. In any event, water aether also sounds like string instruments, mostly harps, dulcimers, and brighter pianos. Also, a very specific drum⊠Rere, whatâs that staccato-sounding drum the Flames have been using in their parades of late?â
The lalafell picked her head up. âSnare drum?â
âThatâs the one. Timpanis on occasion, too. And finallyâŠice. Sound leans towards woodwind instruments like the clarinet and piccolo, as well as bells. Any bell. TasteâŠhmm. Slaw, fruits that freezes well, fruit juices, Thavnairian sweet teaââ
âThat is not tea, that is an abomination.â
ââsome melons, cucumbers, white rum, wintergreen.â
âI still canât believe youâve never come across ice aether that tastes like the Bismarckâs root beer float.â
âThey introduced it to the menu last year.â
âSo?â
Synnove sighed that heavy, gusting sigh everyone who spent longer than thirty minutes with Rereha learned. âYâshtola, I see a note here about Primordial Light and Dark, but Iâll do that in the next recording along with variations and discrepancies, as first, I need to beat my sister over the head with a grimoireââ
Rereha hopped down from the desk and ran for the office door, shouting BYE YâSHTOLA I LOVE YOU BEST over her shoulder as she did.
ââand second, Iâm hungry and now is a good time to break for lunch. Recording end.â
[End of recording. Is there anything else on which I may provide assistance?]
âNo, that will be all for nowâah! Before I forget. Please create new nodal designation of own choice.â
[Clarification requested.]
âPick a name for yourself.â
[âŠ]
[Accessing imperial Allagan databases for repository of birth certificates. Scanning records.]
[Archive Node Unit 453 rename complete. Archive Node Unit 453 is now Kleio.]
Synnove smiled, pleased. âItâs nice to meet you, Kleio.â
[âŠThank you. Database scans are currently inconclusive as relates to instruments in modern usage versus those of Allag. What samples are available to provide edification?]
The Highlander cocked her head, staring at the silver-and-green node for a few long moments, before another smile, this one slow and delighted, crossed her features. âI have a few orchestrion rolls that include solos and chamber music that you could listen to while I have lunch, and I can provide lists of which instruments are used in each piece.â
[That would be satisfactory.]
âPerfect! Letâs get you set upâŠâ
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The Taste of Sweet Silk on Your Lips; Chapter 11 BTS
NOTE: This post will discuss plot points from Chapter 11 my Ao3 fanfiction, The Taste of Sweet Silk on Your Lips. Please refrain from reading further if you'd like to avoid spoilers!
This chapter, if I'm not mistaken, is my longest chapter yet. Woah.
I've almost completely strayed from my original outline. Almost. For the past couple of chapters my outline didn't reasonate with the final result at all, but I think I'm starting to get back on track.
The BDSM chapters are always the most difficult. There's a lot of terminology that can come into play rather quickly, not to mention the struggle to keep things consistent and clear. (Where are Mikasa's hands? How do I describe that? How do I phrase this differently than the last three paragraphs I wrote? Okay, hold on, what's a synonym forâ)
Long story short, it's a handful. But when I'm done writing the chapter, when I can finally delete "DRAFT" from the title of my chapter page, it's a feeling I don't feel to often.
I feel proud of myself. And that's an amazing thing :D
But along with BDSM chapters comes references!
Now, my original plan was to actually watch live BDSM performances online. I watched a very solid handful before I started writing this fic, and I learned quite a lot, but in the end..
I'm a procrastinator, okay?
My schoolwork was starting to pile up. I was failing multiple classes (I'm only failing one now, yay for me!), and what does my brain do when there's actual work to be done? Not that. Anything but that.
Now, writing my fic isn't work. I LOVE writing this fic. But typing out extensive cartography notes and typing out prolonged sexual tension can start to get grouped together, and before I knew itâ
A week had passed since my last update. That's always when I start to get anxious.
So, instead of taking this slow and watching low-quality footage of shibari clubs in russia, it was just meâ my brainâ and a very aggressive google searching session.
In the end, I'm still very happy with how things went.
The issue arose initially when I just.. couldn't find the right references. I had the picture in my head of what was going on, but I still needed a picture to look at so that my descriptions wouldn't become to vague and absurd.
Let's start off easy, Mikasa's lingerie.
I had a lot of options when deciding what Mikasa should wear. Something risque, of course, but nothing too revealing. It was a tough decision, but I think this picture does my vision justice! Aside from the shoes. Mikasa is a little too powerful in heels like that.
The next order of business was getting references for the bondage rigging.
The spreader bar was easy. Legs spread, bar in the middle, you're good to go!
Next up was the harness. I had a couple of other options I was debating when deciding on what type of harness I wanted on Mikasa. I originally went with something more dainty, with thinner rope and smaller knotsâ but once I decided on suspension-esqe rigging near the end of the performance, it only made sense for the harness to be more secure.
As for the arms.. that was the most difficult part of this chapter. Finding a reference, writing it outâ when I go back to make minor revisions on the fic (grammatical errors)â it's going to be very hard to stop myself from rewriting that portion of the chapter.
The sheer joy that raced through me when I found this image is unmatched. I had scoured the internet looking for a clean, clear reference for what I wanted. After rephrasing my google search multiple times (shibari arm rigging, arms behind head, arms behind head shibari, etc.)â and praying I wouldn't have to use a p 0rn screenshot as reference, I found this image.
This is precisely what I was going for with her arms. Mikasa is a very fit woman, and I don't doubt that she wouldn't have a problem getting her arms behind herself like this.
In my mind when I pictured Mikasa bent at the hip, legs spread wide, arms lifted upwards behind herâ this is precisely the position I envisioned her arms in. I used that reference when describing the actual rigging for the arms as well.
But enough about all the k!nky stuff! This chapter was a lot more sentimental than originally planned.
I'm consistently at odds with myself when writing these chapters, trying to give them the smut I intended while also making their relationship believable.
I ship these two insanely hard, but their dynamic is a really tough one to pinpoint and make work.
They're both very cold and shut off from people in day to day life, so for their relationship to workâ they need to be forced together, and they have to be in a situation where their stubbornness pulls them closer rather than pries them apart.
With all of that to keep in mind, bringing in some fluffy aspects is crucial. It makes their connection make more sense. After all, neither one of this girl's is doing random hookups. Not often, anyway.
The fluff ended up coming organically. Even if their performance this chapter was still just a performance and not an actual BDSM scene, aftercare still comes into play.
Hitch and Annie had a far different dynamic because they were friends. They were friends, and experienced in the BDSM scene. They're able to perform without getting emotionally investedâ because they don't love each other romantically. There's not this same intimate connection.
As for Mikasa and Annie, it's completely different. Annie loves Mikasa to the point that she's risking quite a lot to keep the girl in her life. Mikasa is new to the scene, but she's enthralled by the idea of letting down her guard and letting someone else pull the reigns for once.
They compliment each other in an intimate, romantic, and s3xual way. The performance itself and the aftermath should reflect that.
So, it does! I found myself smiling quite a bit at the end of the chapter. I really do love these two.
The next chapter will include full fledged smut, thank goodness. I'm both nervous and excited to start writing the chapter. But, for now, I'm probably gonna get some rest.
Thank you all so much for your support. I wouldn't still be writing this fic if I didn't know that there were people out there who enjoyed my work. It makes me smile even when I'm struggling :) I hope to see you all again when I post the next chapter. Thanks so much!!
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Basewarming Party
Archive of Our Own Link
Itâs been a few months, but hereâs another Miraculous Transformers AU story! This time with some backstory.
Adrien, Alya, and Nino were leaving school when they saw three familiar vehicles nearby.
Nino ran over to the green dump truck and got in, planning to play some new songs for Stoneheart.
Alya headed over to the yellow sports car and groaned as Queen Bee told her to not mess up anything inside her.
Adrien got on the red motorcycle and smiled when Ladybug asked how his day was.
The three headed off and separated for a little bit to not draw suspicion as they soon met up on an empty road.
âSo we spent the last solar cycle setting up an area of the base for you.â Ladybug explained to Adrien while they drove. âItâs normally used for human liaisons to present top-secret information when they need our help, but Pegasus thinks we did an okay job setting it up.â
Ladybug, Queen Bee, and Stoneheart soon made it to a road in Fontainebleau Forest and drove to a secret area that led to the location of the Autobot base. After giving their security codes, the three Autobots drove into the base and let the humans out, immediately transforming to their robot modes.
They noticed there was a banner hung up near one of the baseâs computers that depicted the faces of Adrien, Alya, and Nino, as well as the Autobot insignia, with something written in an incomprehensible language.
âUh...what does that say?â Nino asked.
Stoneheart tapped Ladybugâs shoulder lightly. âLadybug...â He pointed to the banner, causing Ladybugâs optics to widen.
âOh, scrap!â Ladybug hit her own head in frustration. âI forgot to write that in your language, not mine! Sorry!â She replied. âI meant to write âWelcome, Humans!â.â
âYou made this?â Adrien was impressed with the level of detail in the banner.
Ladybug nodded. âUh, yeah. I used to be an artist back on Cybertron. It was more of a hobby I picked up while I was in the Autobot academy. Why donât you check out what we set up for you?â She added, realizing she was rambling on, and pointed to a staircase for the humans to walk up.
Adrien, Alya, and Nino walked up the stairs and were surprised by what they saw.
There was a couch set up in front of a small television which looked like a model from the mid to late 2000âs, and in between those was a âtableâ made from a board of wood on top of four cinderblocks. There was also a minifridge nearby, though most of the Autobots didnât know what the humans ate, and planned to ask them later before getting snacks.
âSo? What do you think?â Stoneheart asked as he walked over to the area and looked over them.
âDude, this place looks awesome!â Nino chimed. âYou guys did a great job!â
âI still think we should have put a cage here.â Queen Bee snarked, earning a glare from her fellow Autobots.
âSo. what do you guys want to do now?â Alya asked the others.
âWell, earlier today, Stoneheart asked me about what Earthâs greatest warriors are like, so...â Nino took out a Blu-ray player and a container of the original Star Wars trilogy in the same format. âI said I would introduce him to Luke Skywalker.â
So the three humans sat down on the couch with Ladybug, Queen Bee, and Stoneheart sat down behind them to watch the movie. Even though they asked if this was based on Earthâs actual history, the Autobots were surprisingly invested in the film. When Obi-Wan Kenobi was killed by Darth Vader, Stoneheart cried out in despair, surprising everyone.
Apparently, the noise was enough for Pegasus to walk down, wondering why everyone was being so loud. âCan you all please keep all that noise down? Iâm busy performing system diagnostics here.â
âOkay, C-3PO, weâll be quiet.â Ladybug snickered as soon as she finished the sentence. âDid I say it right?â She asked Adrien, who nodded with approval.
Pegasus let out a sigh of frustration at the commotion. âI wasnât built for thisâŠâ He grumbled. âWhat exactly are you doing anyway?â
âWeâre learning about Earth history, obviously.â Queen Bee smirked. âOptimus said we need to familiarize ourselves with the planet.â
Pegasus scoffed. âWe came here for a reason other than to watch human entertainment, Queen Bee.â
âHey, why exactly are you here anyway?â Adrien asked. âI know you guys fought a war over control of your home and its energon, but why did you come all the way to Earth for it?â
Queen Bee smirked. âWell, as Optimus Primeâs second-in-command...â
âYou mean acting second-in-commandâ Pegasus added, earning a glare from the Autobot.
âI, uh... I can explain what happened and how we got here, provided you donât tell anyone else...â Queen Bee started to explain
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The civil war between Autobots and Decepticons had lasted for a very long time, so both sides were forced to abandon the planet Cybertron to find new sources of energy. For some reason, our shipâs scanners found your planet to have an a lot of raw energon. Like, we've never seen a planet with this much energon before.
Unfortunately, we werenât the only ones to find out...
"Hull breach on Decks 3 to 5! Shields are also damaged!â Ladybug cried out.
âWeâre taking heavy fire, sir! We also just lost one of the thrusters!â Pegasus added.
While the Decepticons had a majority of their resources with them on their ship, which they called the Nemesis to show how friendly they were, it was only the five of us on a much smaller ship not nearly as armed as what the Decepticons had.
After another onslaught of fire from the Nemesis, a majority of our systems were knocked offline.
âBrace for impact!â Optimus ordered as our ship plummeted to Earth. It was a miracle we managed to survive.
We all came back online after about a few of your Earth hours and assessed the situation with our ship.
âDiagnostics say the ship is beyond repair with our current resources.â Pegasus said solemnly. âSome of the computers are still online, but we donât have a lot of working parts right now.â
âSo, now what? What can we do now?â Ladybug seemed to be the most nervous about our predicament. Then again, she had the least amount of experience out of all of us. (Hey!)
âWe came to this planet in search of energon, but it seems we have an additional mission now: to protect it from the Decepticons.â Optimus stated. âIs the shipâs probe still online?" After checking the systems, Pegasus nodded, causing Optimus to walk over to one of the shipâs control panels. âTeletraan I, scan the area for local lifeforms. We will take on their appearances to blend in to avoid suspicion from the Decepticons.â
So the shipâs probe flew around for a little bit and not only came back with data on forms we could take, but also an image of an energon mining site the natives had set up.
âCarbon-based lifeforms?â I scoffed at the idea of these inferior lifeforms being able to harvest energon. âDo they even know what they stumbled upon?â
Pegasus continued to browse through the footage and gasped. âIâm detecting Decepticon signals converging near that area. They must have noticed the energon too.â
âNevertheless, we must scan an alternate mode and try to obtain this energon in a discreet manner before the Decepticons. We must disguise ourselves as what these lifeforms view as vehicles.â Optimus declared as a mechanism on the ship popped up while we all browsed through ideas for possible alternate modes.
Ladybug saw something with two wheels and smiled âOoh, that looks nice.â she said as the shipâs systems reformatted her so she was able to transform into that.
Stoneheart saw what looked like a green vehicle designed to carry heavy objects. âSo is this supposed to be like one of Earthâs more powerful vehicles? Either way, I like itâ. Soon, he was reformatted as well.
Pegasus saw a yellow and white vehicle with brown highlights and emergency lights, reminding him of the Rescue Bots on Cybertron. âThis seems like a suitable form to take.â He was the next to be reformatted.
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, I couldn't really find anything like this in brown, but the motorcycle isn't spotted either, so just work with me, alright?)
Optimus chose a large red and blue vehicle with a trailer attached to it without saying anything as he was reformatted.
I on the other hand, had looked through the options for a form to take for a few nanoclicks. Naturally, a bot as beautiful as myself needed an appropriate form. Thankfully, I found something just as interesting, and one of the few good things about this planet. It was one of your Earth cars with a sleek design and yellow paintjob. I stood still as I eagerly waited for the machine to finish reformatting me.
âRemember, we must keep a low profile and only reveal ourselves unless absolutely necessary.â Optimus ordered. âFor now⊠Autobots, transform and roll out!â
With that familiar command, we all transformed into our new vehicle modes (except Pegasus, who stayed to see if anything else on our ship was working) and left for the excavation site the humans had set up.
Granted, it took us a couple of run-ins with some other Earth vehicles to get the hang of this planetâs traffic laws, but we eventually made it to where the energon was. There was also a sign written in your language that said something like âGOPHER-MINT PROPERTY/NO TREE-PASSINGâ. In hindsight, we really should have familiarized ourselves with the language before we headed out.
It didnât seem like the Decepticons had attacked yet, although we were in trouble with a different form of opposition.
âThis is Officer Raincomprix! Step out of the vehicles right now! You have violated several traffic guidelines, and are now trespassing on government property.â Someone from your planetâs law enforcement had apparently been following us. The strange thing was that he had a human partner who looked much younger than he did, almost like she shared genetic qualities with the man. âIâm going to give you until the count of ten to get out of the vehicles. Wait⊠where are the drivers? WHY DO NONE OF THESE VEHICLES HAVE DRIVERS?!â
Before we could really say anything, a stray shot from the distance hit the ground, signaling the Decepticons were here. The officer ran back to his car and tried to drive away as the Decepticons made their way to the surface.
âSo, Optimus Prime. I see you and your little band of Autobots managed to survive the trip to this planet.â That raspy voice taunting us belonged to only one Decepticon. The very same Cybertronian who started the Decepticon cause behind the civil war that had caused so much suffering across the galaxy for megacycles. The Emperor of Destruction and leader of the Decepticons, Megatron.
âI see youâre trying to maintain cover on this strange planet rather than simply harvesting all the energon the local life forms have managed to discover for us. Typical Autobot weakness.â Megatron smirked as he and his Vehicon troops opened fire on the mining site. âTake the energon, and see if these lifeforms found any more locations with it. If you find nothing, leave no survivors.â He gave that last order with a sadistic grin.
âWhat should we do?â Ladybug asked nervously.
âEven if it means exposing our cover, these organic lifeforms need help. Autobots, transform!â With that order, we all transformed into our robot modes and activated our weapons. âAutobots, make sure none of the local lifeforms are hurt. Now, split up!â
So we all scattered to engage the Vehicons. I armed my stingers and fired off electrical blasts at some of the Vehicon forces. Of course, the organics were afraid of a superior being like myself, so they ran away like cowards⊠or maybe that was because another Decepticon was right behind me.
âReckless as usual, I see.â That stoic voice came from my Decepticon counterpart, the (actual, not acting)
(shut up, Pegasus!) second in command of the Decepticons, Malediktator. I slowly turned around and saw he was armed with his signature weapon, a rocket launcher.
âMaybe, but at least I know Iâm fighting for the right side.â I quipped as I aimed my stingers at Malediktator.
Malediktator began to open fire, shooting several heat-seeking rockets at me. I tried to blast some of them, but there were some rockets that still managed to hit their target. I was knocked to the ground and struggled to get up.
Malediktator was going to fire again, but he was hit in the head by Ladybugâs âweaponâ, her yo-yo, causing Malediktatorâs weapon to misfire. It was probably the only time she actually helped out in a fight before. (Iâm standing right here, Queen Bee!)
One of the stray missiles went towards the human law enforcement and his genetic experiment in the distance, until Optimus ran over and covered the two, taking the hit in the process. I think they talked a little, but my auditory processors couldnât pick up their conversation.
Ladybug and I kept fighting to disarm Malediktator, but even though it was two on one, he still managed to overwhelm us. We tried our best, but it was really hard to keep up with the second in command of the Decepticons. While we were fighting, I noticed Optimus fighting Megatron one on one, but it was hard to make out who was winning.
Malediktator knocked both me and Ladybug to the ground and took aim at us with his rocket launcher. He was about to open fire when we all heard a crash to the ground. We turned around and saw Megatron slowly getting up after presumably losing to Optimus.
âIf you are to harm the humans, Megatron, know that I will do everything in my power to stop you.â Optimus said, raising his ion blaster and pointing it at Megatron.
Megatron simply laughed in response. âVery well. If youâre so determined to protect this pitiful race, Iâll let you have this victory. But be warned, the next time we meet, I wonât have such mercy.â He stated grimly as a ground bridge appeared behind him. âMalediktator! Weâre leaving. You can scrap those two another time.â He said as he turned around and walked into the portal with the remaining Vehicons.
Malediktator lowered his weapon and nodded. âYes, Lord Megatron.â He said before walking away into the ground bridge. I tried to blast him, but Optimus raised his arm, silently ordering everyone to stand down.
As soon as Malediktator entered the ground bridge, the portal closed.
We all got up and collected ourselves as the humans swarmed around us. Strangely, the law enforcement unit and his experiment were the closest to Optimus. It was like everyone was afraid of us except those two.
âDid you really mean what you said back there? That youâd protect us?â The law enforcement unit asked.
Optimus leaned down so he could look the human in whatever optics were for him. âOf course. Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.â
The unit was amazed by how serious Optimus sounded. âIs there anything we can do to hel--what am I doing? W-Whoâs the highest ranking officer here?â Another human ran up, calling himself a âColonelâ, or something along those lines. He said he would talk to his superior about what happened.
After a mega-cycle or two, some vehicles I assumed belonged to this planetâs government arrived. One man came out, who was referred to as the âPrime Ministerâ. I didnât really see what made him a Prime and I certainly didnât know Earth had their own Primes, but everyone still listened to him.
âSo, from what Iâve heard youâre at war and have come to our planet.â The Minister said. âWhat exactly are these âDecepticonsâ youâre fighting after?â
âThey are after a powerful source of energy and the lifeblood of our kind, energon. Your planet seems to have an abundance of it for some reason.â Optimus explained.
âAnd your ship crashed so now you need a new base of operations?â The Minister asked, earning a nod from Optimus.
âThat is all that I ask for.â Optimus replied. âYou kind need not interfere in this war. Even depleted of their resources, the Decepticons could lay waste to your planet if you aggravate them enough.â
This made the Minister sigh. âWe can have some of our best men work on helping you construct a new base. Other than that, weâll try and let you fight this war as long as you keep it a secret. If things heat up, we inform the United Nations about these... Decepticons. Weâll also expect status reports from you to make sure things are okay.â
Optimus nodded and stuck out his hand. âUnderstood.â He extended it to shake the humanâs hand, but because the human was so small, he could only shake Optimusâ finger.
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âBut yeah, after a few orbital cycles, the humans helped us set up this base in the forest, and we keep in contact with them through a liaison.â Queen Bee said, finishing her story.
âWow...â Adrien was impressed by everything Queen Bee had told about their journey to Earth. âAnd you really canât get back?â
âNot unless we fix our ship or create a working space bridge.â Pegasus sighed.
âOh...â Adrien felt bad for all the Autobots. âIâm so sorry...â
âYou have no need to apologize.â Everyone turned around to see Optimus Prime entering the room. âAlthough we were forced to abandon Cybertron, Earth is not a prison. We are more than willing to protect any world from the Decepticons.â
âR-Really?â Adrien asked, earning a nod from Optimus. âAre you sure we canât do anything else to help you get used to the planet?â
âCan we, Optimus?â Ladybug got up and asked. âItâs a good learning experience.â
Queen Bee got up next to her. âLadybug has a point. Learning about Earth culture can help us better understand these strange organic lifeformsâ
Optimus took a few moments to think about it and smiled in response. âVery well. Maybe this can be the humansâ way of repaying us for protecting them.â He said, making them all cheer.
âThis is so lit!â Nino cried out, which only confused Stoneheart.
âWhat does âlitâ mean?ïżœïżœ Stoneheart asked.
Ladybug shrugged. âI donât know. Maybe it has something to do with lighting things on fire?â
âMaybe we can teach you all about memes first! Thatâll be fun!â Alya suggested. âOoh! Letâs teach them about Rickrolling!â She took out her phone and started to look something up.
Queen Bee rolled her optics. âThis isnât what I meant when I said I wanted to know about Earth culture.â
âAnd now you know how I fe--â Before Pegasus could finish his sarcastic comment, they were all interrupted by a song playing on Alyaâs phone that all three humans were dancing to.
Weâre no strangers to loooooooove~
You know the rules, and so do I!
âWelcome to Earth!â Alya and Nino cried out to the music while they kept dancing
Optimus sighed. He had a feeling he really should have put more consideration into letting the humans educate the Autobots.
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down!
Never gonna run around and desert you...
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RASHIDA RENEà WANTS YOU TO KNOW YOUR HISTORY by Alexis Rene Moten (Culture Jock)
Letâs start this article with a quiz: Name a Black model from the 1990âs that isnât Naomi Campbell or Tyra Banks?
Stumped? Itâs safe to say that if the question were asked to name a White model that wasnât Kate Moss or Cyndi Crawford, best case scenario you wouldâve excelled with a list to provide. Maybe something like: Linda Evangelista, Claudia Schiffer, Christy Turlington, Shalom Harlow, Carla Bruni, Heidi Klum..you get my point.
At times, Pop Culture can be a fair-weather friend. Mondayâs It-girl becomes Fridayâs nobody and by Sunday thereâs a new hot thing in town to get all the girls in a fuss. But as nostalgia-trends rises as capitalismâs newest enterprise, endorsed largely by social media app, Instagram, history is being retold by the agenda of itâs curator. The selective hearing of  Instagram accounts like @90scelebvibes (391K followers) and @90sanxiety (793K followers) present a facade that the past was rather beige, leaving largely out the credit due to the Black and people of color creatives that developed and inspired the trends imitated today.
Bay area based, Fashion archivist Rashida ReneĂ©, takes on self-love to a familial level celebrating her love and the appreciation of Black designers, models and other fashion industry influencers that otherwise go forgotten in our modern culture. In fashion, as in anything else, things old become anew. However, ReneĂ© takes on the responsibility as a trend gatekeeper, providing evidence of what fashion used to be and recognizing the faces we longed forgotten. Â
Q: Name a Black model from the 1990âs that isnât Naomi Campbell or Tyra Banks?
A: Beverly Peele, Â Gail OâNeill, Iman, Kara, Young, Karen Alexander, Â Louise Vyent, Roshumba, Veronica Webb, etc.
Culture Jock: What is a typical day for the most hated hoe in the city?
RR: (laughs) Itâs weird, I kind of like to keep it to myself. Keep track of what I like and my thoughts. I donât know. I'm very low-key person in real life, but when I do leave the house (pauses) I do, I promise! I just like my personal time, but when itâs time to be out I am present, as much as possible. I do what I do becauseII like giving information to people and give them links and information just so they know.
CJ: What brought you into fashion archiving?
RR: My whole archiving process was originally for myself and filling in spots of information where there it was empty of black people. Of course, there is street fashion, but in terms of online fashion, sites like Manrepeller, you didnât see a lot of black girls doing it and the people doing it I thought were lame. Finding other black people who werenât anti-black in those kind of spaces. I felt a lot of people were trying to make us to assimilate. Everyone was kind of like doing the same things and it was like, âNaomi Campbell!â But if it were any other dark girl it didnât matter. So, I started my own blog and then I had to stop myself from posting Naomi Campbellâs photos too. I would do one picture of Naomi Campbell a day and try to really give props to other black woman involved and black people in general. When I was younger I was familiar with the other models not just Naomi Campbell, my mom was really in it with Naomi. She worked in a beauty salon, which had magazines of all the models. Like, black hair magazines, they always listed the models so, no matter what you knew who they were. Whoever it was in the 90s, âthis is who that is and this who that is.â Youâd see the oldest Destiny Childâs video shoots in black hair magazines. I just havenât seen other people doing that. There are other girls now that focus more on Hip Hop in 90s and 2000s. Livejournal, fashion spot, Tumblr, people didnât go out of their way to scan the black models or even try to name them. Itâs funny, people online, they donât even try to hide their biases. No one was really fashion blogging the way I like or how I see .
CJ:In your piece for Office Magazine you mention, from Patrick Kelley to todayâs influence of Dapper Dan, American culture from its roots drips of Black influence and culture. Why do you think Black culture is so immutable and where do you see the ownership of our creations.
RR: People I mean know, itâs just like, itâs weird and odd to even talk about. Not just people referencing me or copying, I feel like I am being gaslit all the time or being told that. People love stealing from black people. People love stealing from black people. People love stealing from black people and lying about it. People hate black people but they think we are cool. I canât even (pauses)yeah itâs very weird. The twitter thing is weird (sighs).
CJ: It is weird.
RR: (sighs) Itâs not really helping them. Itâs boring to live with no personality. To see someone interesting and steal from them to bolster themselves. [On social media] we have the means to share with each other, like, moments that are of shared experiences of oppression and that is even imitated. I donât know why the copy of things are okay. It is such a multi-layered thing. Or the way the Stans talk like mainly the Black queer and Black trans talk and how all of that is now being used by everyone. Ariana Grande, ya know, icons talk like girls on the ballrooms did back in 2006. Parodying things. It helps them develop their own brand, I donât understand their fascination with us anyway. Iâm into my own shit and own culture. I like the way black people express themselves and other people use us and what we do to talk to each other or communicate and then take that to feel cool. Iâve always been,like, âwhy would someone want to be like this?â or pretend. I donât get it. People run out of content. I know people used to make fun of me and the things I used to be and ironically they are into it now. People need to find their own hobbies. They are bored.
CJ: The internet is complex. Itâs a parody of itself.
RR: Knowing your history is important. You need to know where you came from to know where you are going. When it comes to fashion archives the question is, âwhat is it that you are looking for or trying to highlight?â My concern is that fashion archiving is feeding into nostalgic trends, where itâs easier to mimic what was done before rather then create new moments. Do you share the same sentiments?
CJ: What is it about fashion that excites you?
RR: Itâs so fun and so funny. The dolls are taking over. Thatâs how most things go, the things that happened come back with a hyper focus. It really is going full out now. Itâs interesting to see how people are dressing now. [Fashion] is always reflective of the political climate. Think about the 80s everyone is dressing like a dickhead. Then when people got sick of dressing like a dickhead, minimalism comes in. We cycle through trends so fast, today. I remember a girl wearing a hair clips and no one was into it. Then the next week everyone was wearing them, then I see Cyndi Lauper in an interview wearing hair clips. Sheâs like 50-something and sheâs wearing hair clips made out of Swarovski crystals. Itâs so interesting. Itâs funny how it happens. Now everyone is into fashion.
CJ: Who are your biggest fashion influences ?
RR: My biggest influences are Naomi Campbell and my mom. Girls I follow on the internet. My mom is from San Francisco lives her own life and is very eclectic. I get a lot from her and different taste. Foxy Brown is also very inspiring, I reference her a lot I think about her and Steven Miesel. Steven knows how to do everything. Steven can do everything. Everyone knows I am a crazy BeyoncĂ© fan. But, I have different girls for different moods. My main inspo is Naomi and Foxy Brown. I really gravitated to Foxy because she was more into Prada and Chloe when Stella McCartney was there. Because of Foxy I love Chloe. She was very cool. Naomi is, you just aspire to that level of greatness. There is no one else. Even in her flaws she handles them so well. I canât imagine someone else with that kind of rap sheet to not get fully canceled. I judge people by how they react to criticism. She handles it really well. I find that really inspiring.
CJ: What film or television do you think has the best fashion catalog? If you could what character's closet would you love to raid?
RR: I am so frazzled. Thereâs so much stuff I like. I write things down specifically, because I can never remember. I watched The Nanny last year with Fran Drescher, when I was really depressed and was like, âWow this is inspiring.â Brenda Cooper, her mind. Everyone had a look in. Pose, is another one. Everything has intentions from the main characters to the background characters. I really like the first season of costume design. Itâs commitment to that era. Someone is always dressed like, Karen White or Jodi Whitley. Elektra is very dynasty, that high lady energy. I love that about the show. I love Glow, the costume designer, Beth Morgan. I love when people do era shows, specifically the 80s and they donât try to soften it, especially in makeup or hair. They arenât scared to embrace the ugliness, I love that. Thatâs what good costume design is about. High fashion is easy, but what really gets me is watching old movies and looking at the clothes. Â
CJ: We are moving into a new decade of 2020. I have a feeling it may be the year of 2020 vision and final clarity. What are your aspirations for this new era and what do you hope to see from the world?
RR: I feel like the children are our future. Thatâs what Iâm looking at, to see what the kids are into. People are more focused into what they look like and I remember if someone dressed a little bit out of fashion it was a huge deal and get talked about. But now they are embracing their weirdness and experimenting. Do you watch that Tik Tok stuff? I just want a regular life. Happy, healthy, all my kids are happy and healthy. When I move to [Los Angeles] and get hotter, hotter and I want to  become, what is that called, a wellness person? I want a Goop moment, but with Solange aesthetics. Maybe make a propaganda film to get people to stop wearing wigs.
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Kinktober Day 5:Â Nukklebust Productions Presents
Kinktober Day 5 Prompts: Kneeling ~ Triple penetration ~ Video (being recorded)
Fandom: Original (Auchendale Archives)
Tags: exophilia, m/f, slight f/f, orgy, triple penetration, kneeling, video recording, pornography, group sex, anal plug, sex toys,
Pairing:GoblinM/HumanF, GoblinM/ElfF, HumanF/ElfF
[Authors Note: This is purely self indulgent smut that I have written for my own personal enjoyment and it is loosely based on a dream I had a few weeks ago. I was torn between putting this in Warcraft or not and I decided to put it in the Auchendale universe so I can use Ember since I kind of fell in love with her, which was unintentional since I made her on a whim. Vyzzie was borrowed from a friend with permission.]
The owners of The Scarlet Eclipse had some very firm rules on photography and video being taken in the club. The top rule was that in general it wasnt allowed. This was to help enforce privacy rules and ensure that the people who came to the club felt safe. The exception to the rule was, of course, pornography. The owners had a relationship with a few directors in the industry and allowed some of their rooms to be used for photo shoots and film shoots as long as nothing got out of hand and it was kept quiet. The location was never allowed to be revealed.Â
There were limitations of course, no large productions, and only so many rooms could be rented out for this purpose. The club still needed to cater to its own clientele of course, and it opened up the opportunity for people to explore their own exhibitionist and voyeuristic fetishes. Once it became known, it was an open secret around the club. Privacy was still respected, but the owners invested in a remodel that turned a couple of the rooms into permanent filming areas. They could be accessed through a special door and from the outside and the area could be locked down if needed.
When not in use by professionals, the owners allowed club members to book the rooms for a fee and they would get a copy of the finished product for their own personal enjoyment. Some allowed their amateur films to be released online, most kept them private. VIP members of the club were allowed to use these areas for free with enough prior notice. As it was, there was a waiting list, and sometimes it could take a few months to gain access to one of the rooms, especially if you needed a specific one.Â
The club owners had made it easy to check the availability of the rooms online, and there was a link to the waiting list. Anyone already on it could also check their place in the queue. Vyzzie had been checking every day for the last few weeks to see if his request had been bumped up in the queue. He had paid extra and used his friends VIP access to cut in line as much as he could. He was eager to do the scene and had been making preparations for almost two months now. The preparations had to be changed multiple times already as people had backed out and Vyz knew the longer it took the harder it would be to do.
Thankfully his friend had promised not to back out and had even suggested bringing someone along so she wasnât the only female in the scene. It meant they could do much more with what they had left and the plans for the scene had begun to change. It was shaping up to be one of his better ideas, he just had to make sure the people still on board stayed on board.Â
The idea had come about after a wild night with two chicks he didnât really know well. He ended up getting kind of close to one of them and she had expressed a desire to have another threesome but with two guys instead. He knew someone that would be interested and it had been fun, but then they got to thinking, why not invite more people, and the idea developed into something that Vyz was quite eager for, as was his new friend Ember.Â
Vyzzie had promised that he would only invite people she trusted, and Ember offered to bring her elf friend from the first time. It was shaping up to be quite a scene and once it was settled the negotiations began and everything was put in place with an understanding of what was expected of everyone. Simple color codes would be used instead of safe words so that everyone could be on the same page and no one got lost or confused.
When the day finally came Vyz could barely contain his excitement. He had gone over the details with Ember so many times that they both decided to share control of the situation. It also lead to copious amounts of sex between the two of them as every time they discussed it the conversation would inevitably arouse one or both of them. They had pretty much fucked on every surface in Vyzzieâs apartment, including his roommate's bed. That one he wasnât particularly proud of when it was discovered and he had to do a lot of apologizing to make up for it.Â
With Ember in tow and some luggage Vyz arrived at the club a few hours before the filming was going to start. This was pretty standard to give them time to set up, and get everyone ready. He was practically vibrating with excitement the goblin looking up at his human companion with mischievous violet eyes.Â
âOk, so itâs gonna be an hour before the others show up. I thought we could get everything set up and go over the negotiations one last time. Make sure nothin essential god missed.â Vyz opened the door to the main room and dropped off his bags before peeking into the equipment room off to the side. It housed all the recording equipment, back up servers, everything they needed but it was empty. âOk looks like the crew ainât here yet. Sâfine, gives us a bit more time.â
Ember moved around the room checking things out and setting her luggage near the back wall and out of the way. She could change later. For now the room needed some work. The bed would be plenty large enough for all of them, not much else in the room would make it into the shot, but it was still worth it to spruce up the room and make it look nice. Despite what they were going to be doing, Ember wanted it to have a soft feeling and she began digging through the chests full of props and accessories to see how they could alter the look and feel of the room.
âWhatcha got there dollface?â Vyz had slipped up behind Ember, placing a hand on her ass and peering into the chest she was digging through.Â
âI was hoping to find something to help the room look less plain and sterile. The bed is nice, its a good size. The furniture all matches and it looks ok. Has a bit of a hotel feel which might be on purpose, but I was kind of hoping for something a little different?â She looked at him and rolled her eyes when she felt him rubbing her ass. âYou are getting awfully friendly there Vyzzie.â
âYer my friend.â He quipped and pinched her. âDonât worry. I remember. No attachments. Doesnât mean I canât enjoy the benefits package.â Smirking he dug through the chest with a free hand, black claws catching on some fabric. âI trust your taste. I know we were only at your place once, but I liked it. Lots of lights, colors. Had that weird gothic rainbow vibe going. You got a unique style Em, that is for sure.â
âHow about we change the lamps, throw up some lights on the wall, drape some fabric around and soften the whole room up a bit. Considering what we are going to be doing, it will be a really interesting contrast I think.â Ember pulled some sheer fabric from the chest and began draping it on the headboard.
âI like how you think. Let the room be soft, the actions hard.â Vyz helped change out the room decor to match her vision. It was getting close to when the others should start arriving. âHey, uh.. Emmy? You know if you arenât sure about this or need to change some stuff I will understand. You know that right?â
Ember laughed. âEmmy?â She stepped over to Vyz, running a hand through his dark blue hair. âYeah Vyz. I know. I wouldnât have agreed to this if I didnât trust you.â
âI will make sure your boundaries ainât crossed. I know ya got some hang ups and all that. Donât want there to be any pressure in the moment to do anything you ainât sure of. I know how it gets once a scene starts and ya get caught up in it. Donât want that ta happen here.â
Ember nodded. âThat is why I brought a precaution. I really donât like anal, and I wonât be able to relax if I worry that it might happen, even accidentally. So I brought a plug with me to help. If something is already there that I am comfortable with, then nothing else can go in and I can relax. I know it sounds counter intuitive and it took me a long time to get to a point where I can even use it, but it actually helps and functions in a way that lets me maintain control over it.â
âNot weird, makes a lot of sense actually. You control its size, when you use it, and it prevents anyone you are with from just having an âoopsâ moment or doin the whole âit's better to ask forgiveness than permissionâ nonsense. I hear ya, I support it. Need any help or just some privacy?âÂ
âI can go put it in myself, wont take me too long I prepared myself for it but didnât want to have it in all day. Give me a few minutes to get ready if you want to finish the room?â
âSure, no problem, I can get it done.â Vyz went back to putting the finishing touches on the room when the crew arrived.Â
They began setting up the cameras at the goblins' instruction and made sure all the equipment was well hidden so as to not ruin the scene. There would only be so many angles shot and the final product would time some time to edit and put together into something polished and finished, ready for release, but Vyz was fine with waiting.Â
He had initially thought to hire a scene director, someone to keep everyone on track, but instead chose to work through the scenario with everyone, set a basic structure, and then just let things happen naturally. He wanted it to be real, visceral, and that wouldn't happen if there was a script or strict direction to follow.Â
Ember came back into the room with nothing but a mask and some thigh high socks on. The masquerade mask was small, simple, and not too bulky. It would stay on easily, and leave her mouth and nose free. The thigh highs were a request from Vyz. The only other things she had on was special body make up that would hide her tattoos and dried down so it wouldnât smear. She had practiced with it before, going through an intense sex scene to see how well it held up to sweat and other body fluids along with friction. It held up well enough that she was confident in being filmed. She knew her tattoos were recognizable enough that she just wasnât willing to risk it since Vyz made it clear this wasnât going to stay private.
The muscular goblin let out a low whistle when he saw Ember. The thigh high socks were perfect. A soft looking material, black, and they hugged her thighs in a way that made it clear they wouldnât move. The mask was black with silver accents and it made her look elegant. âDamn, you sure do make a pretty picture there Em. So uh, when is Vela gonna arrive?â
âShe should have already been here. I told her she needed to get here early to get ready. I hope everything is ok. Let me text her real fast.â Heading back to her bags to grab her phone Ember didnât notice the door opening again.
The rest of the goblins arrived as a group. Vyz greeting his friends and acquaintances with a smile. âGlad ta see ya made it boys. Ember is in the back finishin up and we are just waitin on Velasara. I think you only met Ember thoughâ Vyz commented to his friend.Â
Coming back out Ember paused to see a room full of goblins standing around. All eyes were suddenly on her and never before had she felt more like prey. The moment passed quickly but it was hard to shake as a few sets of eyes lingered.Â
âHere lemme introduce you. Ember you already know Krazz from the party. Those two are Riznik and Viznik, twins if it wasnât obvious, and that is Zorblix.â Vyz finished the introductions.
âJust Blix.âÂ
Ember nodded and waved. âI would appreciate it if my name wasnât used during filming, if it is all the same.â
âSure thing, not a problem. Anyone else?â Vyz knew that both women would be in masks, but he wasnât sure about anyone else.â
âIâm good with not using names. We all wearing masks or just the girls?â Krazz rolled his shoulders and looked for a place to set down his bag. âI brought one with me just in case. No offence but I am not sure I want to be recognized.â
âWe can just avoid names entirely if it helps. I canât imagine there is gonna to be much talkinâ Vyz chimed in, his accent sounding much thicker in comparison to his friend.Â
âI donât really give a shit either way. Not my first rodeo, so it is all fine with me.â Blix moved off to the back of the room and began stripping.Â
There was a knock interrupting the conversation and the door slowly opened. âHello? I am sorry I am late.â Vela stepped in looking a bit frazzled. âSorry got caught up and it took me some time to get everything together. I hope I didnât put us too far behind?âÂ
âNah, yer good, we ainât even started.â Vyz waved the lithe elf over and gestured to the back. âGo get ready and we can do a final run through and just make sure everyone is on the same page before we begin.â Vyz moved back to the recording room and spoke to the staff there, making sure that they would be ready to go as soon as the group finished their preparations.Â
While Vyzzie was busy, the rest of the goblins stripped and got ready for the scene. The twins were engaged in a bout of rock paper scissors to decide who got which girl to start as they wanted some separation to start. Krazz slipped on his own mask, looking a bit like a corvid with the beak design. It was a little flashy for porn, but it went well with Ember's mask. He hoped that he would get a shot with the human at some point as he had been attracted to her since they met at a party Vyz had invited him to.Â
Blix was busy strapping on his harness and cock ring. Fully prepared for taking over should the others struggle with any part of the scene. Of all of them he had the most experience performing for the camera, he knew the best angles, how to position himself, and all the tricks needed to not blow his load too quickly. Considering how hot the girls were in this scene, those were some tricks he was going to have to utilize.Â
Velasara came back looking an almost striking opposite of Ember. Her thigh highs were white with ruffles, her mask had white feathers and delicate gold filigree. She was taller than Ember with a lithe and delicate frame and soft features. Comparatively her body was a bit more slender when compared to Ember's more generous curves. The contrast made the pair enticing to look upon and the goblins in the room struggled to remain professional.Â
Ember leaned up and tugged Vela down to whisper in a long ear. The tittering laugh from the elf filld the room as both women seemed quite amused about something. It made Vyz a little suspicious and he hoped that this wasnât going to be something he needed to worry about later.Â
âOk, so here is the scene. I figure it will be easier if we donât all start at first. I was thinking the girls could have a solo scene together or with one other person involved, then we can introduce some others, or if we are worried about time, then maybe we all just start? Opinions?â Vyz was looking around at the people gathered and realized how this looked. He hadnât meant to only invite goblins, that was how it worked out. With all the cancellations and rescheduling, this was the group he ended up with and looking at it objectively, this would probably end up in a fetish category when released, even if there wasnât a ton of kink involved.Â
âWell are you looking to build a plot or not? Like do we want to have dialog, a wisp of a story, or just get to the fucking already?â Ember asked as she leaned into Vela
âGood question, uh, any thoughts, I know we ainât got a ton of time. I booked us for the rest of the day, but gettin shots set up can eat into that, and we donât really have a script. I kinda wanted this ta feel natural, a bit more amateur and spontaneous.â Vyz admitted.
âEh, speaking as the one with experience here. Neither are going to work. It is too late to try and fudge a script and just jumpin in is going to get someone injured. I say let the girls warm each other up, that should also warm the rest of us up and get the mood set. I can tell first timers when I see em and there are some nervous faces in this group.â Blix walked up to Vyz and gestured to the setting. âPlus, with a setting like this, it just screams lesbian porno. So why not start that way? Then we transition into the spit roasting, the group sex, multiple penetration shots, all of that.â He shrugged and his eyes widened. âOh, condoms? We doing condoms or creampies?â
âCreampiesâ Vyz interjected. âThat is why this took so long. Everyone had to test clean and have alternative forms of birth control. We can switch to condoms if anyone is still uncomfortable with sloppy seconds or had some questionable interactions since getting tested.â
âOk so it seems like we are ready. Vela, after you.â Ember gestured to the bed and smiled as her elvish friend climbed up on the bed. Ember followed staying on her hands and knees while Vela got situated.Â
âWhat the fuck is that?â Blix blurted out and both girls fell into hysterical laughter.Â
It took several moments for them to calm down enough for Ember to speak. âI have some hangups where anal sex is involved. I felt the only way I would be able to relax is to ensure that it couldnât happen, even accidentally. Thus, an anal plug.â
âOk, yeah, I get it, makes perfect sense. What I meant, was why is it flashing like a rave?â
Ember fell over laughing again and just shook her head, it took her a bit to compose herself. âLook, it is a thing with me. I never do anything even halfway normal. You see my hair. My house look like a goth and a unicorn got into a fight. I like bright shiny things and honestly with the lights on it shouldnât even be that noticeable or a distraction. I set it to slow strobe and match the lights hanging on the wall above the bed.â
âOk, alright. One more question. Where did you get it and how much?â Blix was laughing and shrugging at the stares he was getting. âWhat? I wanna add one to my collection ok?â
âLet's talk after. I can give you all the details.â Ember slid up next to Vela and gave her friend a gentle kiss.Â
Both women were clearly nervous to start and Vyz knew that the first several minutes of footage probably wouldnât be used. Watching them slowly explore each other was a different kind of arousing entirely, and it was difficult not to get caught up in the moment and just be content with watching. The slide of their bodies together, the soft moans, the way the colors of their limited clothing contrasted, it was a truly beautiful sight. One that Vyz was loathe to interrupt, but knew he would have to if they were going to get to the point of the scene.Â
The others held back waiting for Vyz to give the signal, It was hard not to be entranced, watching the women together. Especially once it was clear that they forgot where they were and were simply focused on the pleasure. Vyz held off a bit longer, watching with a slow smile as the women rocked slowly together at first, then sped up. The sound of their shared orgasm rang through the room snapping the goblins out of the spell they had been under.Â
Ember lay next to Vela, her breathing slowing to normal as they nuzzled and kissed each other. Hands still exploring as they enjoyed the afterglow of their shared pleasure. Ember would have to remember this, maybe invite Vela over sometime to just see how things might work out between them. Up until this moment Ember was certain her elvish friend was straight, maybe that was not the case now and it was something worth exploring, only later.Â
The bed shifted slightly as Vyz hopped up on the bed, crawling over to Ember and nipping her shoulder and neck. Pulling her gently and slowly to another part of the bed. The only way this would work was with a bit more space between the woman. Krazz was next on the bed, slipping up next to Vela and stroking over her sides and hip, his hands slipping up to her breast, fingertips teasing over her nipple.Â
Riz and Blix joined Krazz by the elf, all of their touches light. Wanting to start slow, ease into it. Viz, was the last to join, slipping up next to Ember and Vyz, nuzzling at the humanâs ample chest. Everything was slow to start, no one wanting to be the first to break the soft moment that had somehow been created. Vyz was the first to lose his battle with desire and pushed Ember onto her stomach, slipping a pillow under her hips and angling her face away from him.Â
It was simply impossible to resist her, the scent of her, the sight of her, Vyzzie buried his face against her nether lips and pushed his tongue in, tasting her depths. Lips crooked up in a half smile at the sound of her moans suddenly being muffled. He didnât have to look to know what had just happened and he was excited at how much Ember seemed to be enjoying it. Cutting his oral exploration short, Vyzzie lifted up and angled himself behind her, pushing his hard cock against her slick opening. She was so wet, so much wetter than he had expected and found it was far easier to slide in that usual.Â
While the flashing light was a bit of a distraction, Vyz found it easier and easier to ignore the deeper he slid into Ember until he was balls deep and groaning. His claws dug into her skin as his control slipped for just a moment and he had to pause before thrusting. His ears twitched at the sounds coming from the other end of the bed and he risked a glance over at the elf. The sight was almost enough for him to lose it right there and he had to snap his gaze back down to Ember.Â
Vela was up on her knees, Riding Riz, with Blix behind her, and Krazz standing with a firm grip on her head as he thrust into her mouth. Blix was still gently preparing her with some lube and a finger while he encouraged Riz with a quiet voice to keep a slow pace and to gently stimulate her clit. Blix knew that increasing the elfs pleasure was going to keep her relaxed and make penetration much easier. The extra lube helped as well and he wanted to make sure that she was fully ready before even attempting penetration. His experience was why he was the one handling preparing her and subsequently the one to be granted the pleasure of having her that way.Â
Viz was careful, his hands resting on Emberâs head more than holding it as he thrust into her mouth. He was originally going to let her set the pace, and at first he did, but found that it just felt too good and he could not resist the urge to move his hips. He was focused, entirely on her and how it felt to be so far in her mouth and pushing into her throat. The feeling was unlike any other he had experienced, as this was his first time really trying anything with a human. He had a preference for orcish women, but now he wasnât so sure that would be the case going forward. There was something softer, sweeter, more delicate about a human and he was eager to have his turn with the elf as well.Â
Emberâs eyes rolled back in her head as Vyz snapped his hips forward hitting that spot so deep that only he ever seemed to hit just right. The feel of someone both in her throat and fucking her was becoming overwhelming. It was everything she had wanted from this experience and a little more. She could tell Viz was going easy on her, and she tried to encourage him when he began thrusting into her mouth. Closing her eyes she swallowed around him, letting her throat constrict around the head of his cock making him moan. It clearly worked to erode at his control as his hips snapped forward suddenly. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, his expression was one of slight concern. She just nodded, hoping he understood.Â
It was pure heaven when Viz finally took the hint that she could handle it and threaded his fingers tighter in her hair, getting a good grip and tugging as he pushed his cock deeper into her throat. She was no longer giving him a blowjob, he was fucking her face, and her moans got louder and louder as she drew closer to release. The feel of her friend fucking her so hard and deep, his balls slapping against her clit as his sharp claws left little pinpricks of pain in her hips increased the sense of euphoria washing over her. Ember slipped into a more relaxed state, letting her body go slightly limp so that she could more easily be penetrated by both goblins. Soon her nose was pressed into the dark curls above Vizâs shaft as she felt his cock swell in her throat. A loud sharp moan from above her and the sudden heat in her throat let her know the goblin had reached climax.
Rope after rope of cum was pumped into her throat as Viz pulled out, some of his seed coating her mouth and lips, some hitting the mask as he fell back panting, clearly worried that he was choking her. With her airway free Ember could be better heard as she also reached climax almost the same time as Vyz did inside of her. The combined pleasure of dual penetration and stimulation was more than enough to send Ember over the edge hard. Vyz hunched over her back as he found his own release.Â
Vela was on edge as well with Krazz thrusting more firmly into her mouth while Blix had slowly pushed inside of her. The feeling over all her holes being filled was one she had never thought she would enjoy and was now worried she would become addicted to. Somehow Riz and Blix found a Rhythm that kept almost constant stimulation within her, an almost overwhelming sensation as she was filled beyond anything she had ever experienced before. Surprisingly Vela was the first to reach release, easily, as Riz had continued stimulating her clit while she rode him. Since they were not closed to finished, the goblins did not stop and continued to fuck the elf right through her first orgasm.Â
Blix helped Riz by taking over the clitoral stimulation so the other goblin could get a better grip on the elf to thrust deeper and faster up into her. Krazz kept his movements slow, despite wanting to just let go. He wanted to keep an eye on her to ensure that she remained ok, and he wanted to draw this out as much as possible. Vela was well on her way towards a second orgasm when Riz thrust up hard into her with a loud cry, his body shaking slightly as he emptied his seed inside of her. He could tell that Blix would probably be next and helped by reaching up and teasing Velaâs nipples to see if he could send the elf over the edge again.
Vela came almost at the same time as Blix who had snarled as he finally came, almost biting her and stopping himself at the last minute as he just pressed his forehead against her back and rode out his own pleasure while pumping his cum deep inside of her. The contractions of her body milking him for every drop he had as his grip on her remained tight. Krazz was the last to release, finally letting himself go and speeding up, pushing almost his full length into her throat with a loud cry. He almost fell over from the intense pleasure as he had unintentionally edged himself for the last bit of it.Â
Carefully the goblins pulled out of their partners and all that could be heard was the sound of light panting and breathing normalizing. Vyz was the first one to speak. âOk swap? Who wants to swap.â
Krazz raised his hand. âI call your position.â The others laughed at how quickly he responded.Â
Blix shook his head. âI am good where I am if there are no complaints?âÂ
âNah, Iâm good, Iâll swap.â Riz offered. âUnless you want to stay with Ember Vyz?â
âThat would put you and your brother on the same girl, that ok?â
âI donât care, as long as our balls donât touch it ainât gay right?â Viz offered as a joke, he new that gay wasnât the problem in that scenario, but it wouldnât be the first time they had shared.
Ember lost it a little bit at that and then so did Vela. The boys had to wait for the giggling to die down before new positions could be achieved. Krazz rolled Ember onto her side, moving the pillow.Â
âThis ok?â He asked before positioning her leg up on his shoulder.Â
Ember nodded and tilted her head up at Vyzzie. She had expected him to take a turn with Vela, and maybe he would, the night was young and there was no reason that they wouldnât swap positions a few more times, especially with some of the ideas Vyz had shared with her during planning. He was smiling at her, stroking her hair away from her mask and carefully wiping the cum from it. Ember realized, from the look in his eyes that they might need to have a conversation later. It was clear an attachment might be forming and she just wasnât ready for another relationship. Something she hoped wouldnât ruin the friendship they already had. Glancing down she could see the eager look in Krazzâs eyes as he gazed down at her, positioning himself against her cum soaked folds. Ok, strike that, maybe a conversation with Vyz could happen after she got him and Krazz alone sometime and had them fuck her absolutely senseless. She had a feeling this was going to be a bit of a wild ride and while she still could she glanced over to see Vela being re positioned, clear glee on her friends face, even with the mask there was no missing that expression.Â
The night was filled with the sounds of moans as the group quickly forgot the cameras and worked on trying as many different positions and combinations as they could before eventually collapsing in and exhausted heap and snuggling up together before the staff gently reminded them that closing time was less than an hour away.Â
Overall, the experience had been one that wouldnât be easily forgotten and new friends had been made from the most unlikely of scenarios. They all agreed that this was something they would like to try again, maybe with a script and more elaborate costumes, but that was a conversation for a later date when everyone was clean and well rested.
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hoh I'm really sorry friend but you got Talbot's backstory kinda muddled. Some things you stated that he did, he didn't actually do for the reasons you stated. He didn't experiment on killers just for fun -- he ran from them. they hunted him. he experimented on them to find a dosage right for himself. he also didn't experiment on an animal for fun. it was dead. Vigo apparently talked about escaping and it had to do with serum. Its why he injected himself after tests. He wanted a way out.
Iâm going to answer this in two parts since itâs stated in two. First, friend, I am going to have to operate on the assumption that you have very very strong feelings about Talbot and assume everything said against him is pretty much the same after a glance or something like it, because I never once said he experiments on the killers for fun. I said the Entity I think lets Talbot experiment on other killers now that he is one too as âpunishment for them and fun research times for Talbot,â not that Talbot experiments on them for fun. I think he does enjoy doing his scientific research, but that aside, the above is just a description of the Entityâs reasoning in letting him do that/its POV. I certainly never said he does it âjust for funâ. In fact, I explicitly stated his motivation for becoming a killer was to attempt to protect himself. I have to assume you didnât really read my post at all, or perhaps got it confused with another. I know my shit. I read up. Though it is true I say âanimalsâ when, while he canonically experiments on both rats and crows, only the one rat happened for sure before he moved on to the Trapper. Although, thatâs kind of worse... Again though, I never once said he did any of this for fun. I know he injected people to see what the serum would do, in a very reckless and poorly thought attempt to escape the realm. I explicitly mention this. Perhaps you are confused because I describe him as torturing people, and heâs not just doing pain for fun--this is because torture is not limited to only pain inflicted on someone out of cruelty or a desire to manipulate them. The dictionary definition of the verb, to torture, is âTo cause intense suffering. To tormentâ. And he absolutely tortures killers, survivors, and reanimated realm animals alike as a means to his own ends. Also, the Entity has not erased all his memories--I know the archives has some memory deterioration lore added, but much of what he did to others happened well before any of that began, and explicitly some of his own addons mention things he explicitly remembers. The Entity did of course leave him to suffer in the void, with is a form of torture, and used the medical affects of blight itself to help manipulate him. Unfortunately, being hurt yourself doesnât excuse you from the responsibility of what horrors you inflict on other people.
For part two, I am sure my answer is coming off as a bit abrasive. I appreciate the apology, but yes, it is rather rude. Even without the lack of attention to detail. Let me try to say this more fairly though, because I donât know you at all, and in all likelihood, youâre a very nice and decent person who doesnât mean anything by this, and simply has deep feelings about this character. Also, this isnât all directed just at you, but to some degree at everybody who has sent me one of these in the past, or will in the future, which I am very tired of. I am going to quit answering most of them from here on.
First of all, I understand feeling deeply about a character or topic. I understand being frustrated or even hurt when you see opinions that distress you, or seem unjust compared to what you believe. Thatâs natural, and even sweet. And I am all for talking about how you feel and think and why, and leaving that in the tags so other people might hear what you have to say. Even for messaging people to see if they want to have a discussion with you. Itâs endearing when people love things and want to fight for them. I only describe Talbot as more interesting than many of the others, because I was not asked specifically about my sympathy level, and it doesnât factor high in importance to me where he is concerned, but youâre not wrong that Talbot is more sympathetic--or, at least, depending on interpretation, much more capable of being written sympathetic while adhering to canon--than many of the other killers. That said, heâs also--completely in line with canon--interpretable as pretty monstrous. I donât think I necessarily paint him heavily either direction. Simply I personally feel fairly little sympathy for someone who commits the kinds of dehumanizing acts of scientific research torture on war prisoners without a second thought, ignores the consequences of his actions, and so quickly casts his humanity aside when in tribulation. He devolves from someone who could have changed and been good, to a man who is a horrific monster and cares only for him self, with no lines he will not cross (his own words, and pre-killer even). And to some people, that is tragic. To me, I feel little kinship for the man he was before, and am simply disappointed in him for failing so easily and completely. I can see why someone might interpret his character quite differently, but my take is just as valid in line with canon, and itâs mine.Â
I donât mind people telling me their thoughts, and I donât mind reading takes in the tags. And again, I very much understand the desire to stand up for something you care about if you feel it is wronged. But thatâs not really what youâve done here, messaging me on anonymous. To the best of my knowledge, I have never even interacted with you before. You didnât open a discussion with me; you talked down to me, and you decided to argue with me about a topic I did not invite anyone into debate with myself. I am not an opinion blog, or a discussion blog. I am a personal blog. But still, you were discontent to not go into my space and try to scold me about my own opinions as a stranger. And you did all of it on anonymous, where there is no tag attaching anything you said even to your online persona, and no way for me to even be assured of you seeing an answer, or entering any dialogue with me. Which means that the goal, subconsciously probably since I know nothing at all about you and have no reason at all to think youâre anything but a decent person who is a bit carried away today with love for Talbot Grimes, but still the goal, was never to have a dialogue with me in the hopes maybe I would see and like your reasoning and we could talk about something we both have an interest in. It was that you felt so entitled to dictate someone you donât knowâs opinion about something they disagree with you on, that you felt compelled to leave a missive instructing me to correct my wrongs in my inbox.Â
Which, well, is rude.
This is probably a bit more, uh, âicyâ? Than is totally necessary. I really am not angry at all; I understand you probably had no real ill will towards me doing this. I just have this happen a lot, and I am tired of it, so I want an easy frame of reference to link back to for why I find this behavior rude and cowardly and an unasked for nuisance--badly intentioned consciously or not. I truly am sorry if this makes you feel bad or distressed to read, especially if youâre a younger fan. I truly am not mad at you--and I do not at all think or mean to imply you are a bad person. Everybody is occasionally thoughtless. Itâs not remotely representative of character. But please donât keep doing this to people who arenât interested in a debate. And if you believe in something enough you want to take the discussion to someone else, sign your name to it. If you feel enough conviction to make something someone elseâs problem, make it your problem for real too. Iâm truly not mad though, and wish you the best.
(and my âif you are annoyed by this or any of my other personal opinions and desperately want me to read your thoughts on anon about thatâ requirements below the cut)
Itâs literally not worth my time to read anon hate or people upset I donât like a serial killer, so if you for some wild incomprehensible reason really feel a need to see me read that and answer to you instead of just delete and/or block without a look, then either leave my $5 on my Kofi, or get used to knowing I didnât even read it. ¯\_(ă)_/ÂŻ I have to actually get paid to not file that shit under âIâm not paid enough to deal with thisâ.Â
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I'm glad you liked the Selkie followup! And yes, Nadia would definitely rock up with a bucket of fish (alongside plain fish, though, seals are also known to eat eels, squid and octopus, so I'm seeing those as the more awful things - also I'm imagining that someone would get an octopus thrown at them in that scenario, don't know who yet though).
In response to the writing thing⊠yes and no? I do write, but I donât publish anything online partly because I never finish anything because either I end up hopping onto yet another idea before itâs done, or itâs overly self-indulgent/the general concept is pretty niche (for instance idk anyone who would be interested in a Queen of Thieves story thatâs a crossover with/takes concepts from The Magnus Archives, but that is an idea that has been clinging to me for the last couple of weeks and Iâve made notes for since my brain made a leap from myth/folklore creatures to eldritch monster/dread power avatars), or both these things happen.
I have a lot of notes, half-written scenes or several separate scenes for various things. I have fleshed out stories in my head that I know fully how they go but for some reason have issues with getting down on paper. Alternatively I do get it down in a very, very rough draft but itâs in no fit state to share (a recent example: two separate, incredibly early-draft nsfw scenes of Siren!Nadia with no context that exists outside my head).
That post you reblogged a while back (might have been nearly a month ago? My memory is both great and crap it could have been last week) of characters from non-abandoned but long since updated fics climbing up someoneâs legs like hungry kittens? That is me. That is me only instead of fics that look abandoned but arenât itâs this huge cluster mess of folders and files with wips, notes and out-of-context scenes that make zero sense on their own. The ideas and concepts are there, the physical writing⊠is sometimes partly there when my brain occasionally cooperates with my enthusiasm.
Speaking of which, itâs nearly 2:30 (I need to stop checking tumblr and sending rambling asks while Iâm meant to be trying to sleep) and my brain is now drifting back to the QOT/TMA crossover idea and I need to shut up before I get to the point of needing to write something for that idea in order to get to sleep. Thank you for the compliments though! They made me smile and I'm glad you like the asks so far, feel free to go as zombie weird as you like even if I can't (yet, maybe one day) supply fics :)
Have a good night/day!
okokok though!! the BEST pieces of writing are the overly self-indulgent ones. you can FEEL the writerâs excitement when youâre reading them. thatâs what makes them so good!! iâve seen quite a bit of tma across my dash but iâm not 100% sure what it is (i want to say horror podcast?), but itâs always intrigued me. i think, with something like that, you donât need to find people who love both to enjoy something you produce for it. i would 100% be aallllll over that. đ and itâd probably make me spiral into tma because it sounds like EXACTLY the kinda thing iâd love but iâm always putting it off.
that said, though, i feel you so hard on all of this. writing is so much easier when youâre doing it for yourselfâ daydreaming, writing down loose notes here and there, the rough drafts upon rough drafts. trying to translate that into something that somebody else can read and comprehend is not always easy, but it never has to be perfect. you are very clearly brimming with ideas, though, and idk how long it takes you to send these asks but you can clearly put a rough plot together very quickly. youâve got the stories down, easy. and if you ever do decide to publish any fic, you have PLEASE gotta let me know so i can read!!
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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.
Interview with VivWiley
VivWiley has X-Files stories at more archives than I could list, but you can find the biggest collection (30 stories) at AO3. She's been prolific and around the fandom for a long time. I've recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Autumn's Threshold and Equilibrium. Big thanks to VivWiley for doing this interview.
Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?
It does and it doesnât. Â As someone who is always discovering new shows and new fandoms, I know that one of the first things I do is go hunting for the related fic. Â I love the ways that fanfic can fill in missing gaps, give us other POVs, and just generally help us see characters that we love (or are growing to love) in new lights. The X-Files, in particular, left so many freaking plot holes and jumps in logic, that I suppose itâs logical that people newly discovering TXF would gravitate to the fic.
What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?
First, I should say that my âfandomâ experience was really limited to the fanfic for TXF. Â I didnât get involved in discussions about the actors, the show runners, etc. Nor did I go to any of the conventions. Â But, from the fanfic experience, I remain astonished by how many smart, funny, wonderful women I met (sorry, guys, I know you were out there, but I mostly didnât get to know you), and how many of them are still close friends. My life would be infinitely less interesting and rich without all those friendships.
I also took away from that experience a confidence in my own creativity that I didnât previously have. Â I have done a great deal of professional writing throughout my career â policies, reports, protocols â but TXF fic writing allowed me to exercise a whole other part of my brain and heart. Â It was fun and also felt like another way of learning and building a skill set Iâd lacked.
Finally, I say that it was an early exposure for me to both the good and ill that online communities can foster. Â There so many amazing acts of kindness and support. Â One of my friends organized the Beta Readers Circle, a group of volunteer fic editors who would read and help you with stories on everything from grammar to âis this character acting in characterâ questions. Â I both used and volunteered with the BRC. On the flip side, some of the discussion threads on the email lists could get a bit ugly. Â Forerunner to the comment threads on todayâs posts. So, humanity in a nutshell, right?
Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?
I initially discovered XF fic through a Washington Post article that was trying to drum up interest in the World Wide Web (as it was then talked about). Â Every week, they featured a list of âhey you might find this cool/interestingâ sites, and one week one of the sites they listed was the Gossamer archive. Â I dove in and emerged utterly hooked. Â I also discovered one of the early fic mailing lists (the name of which now escapes me), and from there I began sending feedback, which allowed me to start building relationships with authors, etc. Â I later joined other mailing lists like Scullyfic, Sparkyâs Doghouse, etc. I never connected with atxc or the message boards, really.
What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?
The characters! Particularly Scully, at first. Â It was clear from almost the beginning that the âstory arcâ (or the notion that there actually was an arc) was pure fiction, but I loved the relationships between the characters, the nuances that so many of them had, and the interplay of the notion of skeptic-believer could have. Â And, of course, later on, Skinner was a personal favorite. [Lilydale note: VivWiley wrote a number of really great fics featuring Skinner.]
What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?
In many ways I think about TXF and TXF fandom in the same way I think about fond memories from high school or college. Â Something that helped shape who I am today, in ways that arenât always straight-forwardly apparent. Â I still donât really get involved (or care TBH) about the lives of the actors, the politics of the show construction, etc. I keep in touch with a large number of fandom alumni, and we will still occasionally reference the show, but our real-life connections have long-since overtaken TXF as our common denominator.
Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?
I read and wrote in several other fandoms post-XF, but nothing ever grabbed me in the same way, and I certainly never found the kind of real community that I did through XF.
Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?
I think Iâm drawn to characters who are human â flawed, nuanced, neither purely good nor purely evil â and who are ultimately driven by higher principle or purpose, even as they make mistakes along the way. From early days, King Arthur was a particular favorite, as are Raederle from the Riddle Master of Hed series (Patricia McKillip), Sam Vines (Terry Pratchettâs Discworld series), and Codi Noline (Animal Dreams, Barbara Kingsolver).
Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?
I did watch the most recent reboot/seasons of XF (and try not to think of them too much as I donât need that kind of stress). Â I do think about Mulder, Scully and Skinner on occasion. Â Sometimes when the news reports something particularly weird or absurd, I wonder how Mulder and Scully would react to that, or amuse myself by thinking about how Skinner would be clenching his jaw and subtly undermining the current misuse of federal law enforcement resources.
Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?
I still read a lot of fic. Â I kind of cycle through fandoms. Â I read a lot of Marvel stuff, but have gone through other fic cycles. Â I tend to find an author I like and then follow them into other fandoms. Â That is, if I can find characters and stories in those fandoms that call to me.
Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?
Iâm a really old school XF ficcer, so some of the folks who drew me into the genre were writers like Madeleine Partous, Parrotfish, Meredith, MustangSally, Rivka, etc.
There are so, so many other writers and authors I could mention, so I think Iâll just stick to some of my early favs.
What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?
In XF, my favorite is Equilibrium. Â It was the most plotting Iâd done, and one where I wrote from several POVs and where I had to really let the characters tell the story. In order to avoid spoilers, Iâll just say that there was a moment where a character did something I thought was really stupid, and I actually quit writing the story for about a week during which I argued with the character. Â Then I had to go back and just let the story unfold. Itâs the only time Iâve ever actually shed tears while writing a scene, but at the end of the day (end of the story?) it was the correct decision for the story I was writing.
Of other fandoms in which Iâve written, I think Fieldstripping (Farscape) and Gravity is not Responsible for your Fall (Firefly/Serenity) are ones where I felt I got it most âright.â
Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?
I actually have a long Skinner-related story that Iâve been threatening to write for about 10 years.  I have it 80% outlined and a very clear picture of the first and last scenesâŠ. I just need to find the energy and focus to sit down and start writing.  I think I finally tracked down all my old fic and itâs posted up to AO3.
What's the story behind your pen name?
Which one? Â Ha! Â Iâve had a few. Â Viv Wiley is a weird one â it just sort of came to me while driving one day. Â Not entirely sure where it came from, just settled into my brain while at a stoplight in Northern Virginia (where I was living at the time). Â I ultimately consolidated all my fic under that name.
Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?
Some friends and family know. Â Iâm judicious in who I tell. Â I think people find it surprising, and of course, up until 5 years ago or so, Iâd have to explain what fanfic is to most folks. Â Now itâs so mainstream that I think if I were to tell someone new about it they wouldnât be that surprised.
Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?
Everything is on AO3 under VivWiley
Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?
At the end of the day, what I care about is stories. Â I think about the Doctor Who quote: Â Weâre all stories in the end, just make it a good one. Â I am so grateful for all the nooks, crannies, and giant chasms of plot holes that the XF writers left for us to fill in. Â Through that filling in, I discovered so many other wonderful stories, and wonderful writers and people.
(Posted by Lilydale on September 8, 2020)
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