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mimsynims · 6 months

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Fool For Love

part 9

~~~

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8

~~~

Author’s Note: Aaand it’s finally done! I always have trouble wrapping up a story, and this one was no exception… but I hope you’ll enjoy it!

This will be posted at AO3 at some point. (In fact, if I write more BG3 fics I’ll probably post it on AO3 instead of Tumblr, as usual. And I do have a few ideas actually…👀)

Thank you all for the likes, reblogs, and comments <3 it has definitely helped me keep going!

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Astarion x reader/Tav

Tags: (mildish?) angst, pining, pining while fucking, jealousy, minor Karlach/Dammon, finally a happy ending for these two knuckleheads

Summary: You thought you knew what you were doing when you let Astarion into your bed. He doesn’t have feelings for you, and vice versa. Only…now you do.

To begin with, you didn’t handle it well. You tried moving on, and that seemed to work. At least you told yourself that it did.

Then something happened that gave you hope. Perhaps he feels something for you too, after all?

~~~

You find him on the path close to the archway, in almost the same spot where you talked to Bex mere days ago. You take a moment to study him from afar. It’s hard to be sure when there’s nothing but the light from the moon illuminating him, but you think his shoulders look tense. Is this your doing?

You wish you could hug him, offer to him relax in your arms.

“I’m afraid your personal blood bank will be closed for a while,” you joke as you walk closer, hoping it will lighten his mood. “For restocking purposes.”

Astarion doesn’t turn around, and when he remains silent for several tension-filled seconds, you wonder if your quip was a mistake.

“Did you mean it?” he finally asks.

The question takes you by surprise and try as you might, you can’t figure out what he’s talking about. “I’m sorry?”

“You said that you’d do anything for me. Did you mean it?”

Oh. That. “Yes.”

Your heart starts pounding as he shifts to look at you. Silvery beams of moonlight caress his beautiful face, a face painted with apprehension — and possibly hope.

“And what does that mean?”

“What do you want it to mean?” you ask in return, because you’re not ready to say those three little words. Not yet.

“Nice try, Tav.” His jaw tightening, Astarion suddenly looks closed off. “If you’re going to play coy with me you might as well leave.”

With that, he turns away from you again — and it feels like a stab to the heart. “It means,” you amend quickly, “that I care for you.” You’ve never been good at expressing your emotions. Never been good at opening yourself up to other people. And it’s scary to do so now. “Deeply.”

Astarion scoffs. “I bet you said that to Gale too,” he says, and the bitterness in his voice stings.

“I– what are you talking about?”

“I saw you. You went to him.”

Acting without thought, you rush forward to place yourself in front of him to make sure that he looks at you; he needs to fully understand what you say next. “It wasn't like that, we only talked. Astarion, you’re special to me.”

You steel yourself for another cutting remark, but you’re helpless against the sad expression that replaces the anger. “So special that you decided to end things between us?”

Fool. You’ve been a fool. “I ended things because I didn’t think…” Taking a deep breath, you tell yourself to be honest. “I did it because I was jealous and I couldn’t handle the possibility of you breaking my heart.”

His brow twitches in confusion. “You were jealous? Of who?”

You desperately ache to touch him, but you hold yourself back. “Shadowheart. Halsin. Anyone that I thought was sharing your bed besides me.”

“Tav. Darling.” He sounds exasperated but hearing the endearment again sparks tingles of joy and hope inside your chest. “I haven't invited anyone to my bed since we started sleeping together.”

Oh. Oh. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” For the first time since you found him, a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “I thought you knew that.”

“No. No, I didn’t.” To say that you’ve been an idiot is an understatement. You’ve let yourself see things that aren’t there because you are insecure. “I haven’t either, you know. Been with anyone else since you.”

The smile twists into something teasing and sultry that feels more like Astarion. “Is that so?”

“It is, and I honestly can’t believe you’d think anything different.” It’s true. While you wouldn’t call yourself unattractive, you’ve never really been one to draw the attention of potential lovers. You’ve had a few before Astarion of course, but in general, people have been more inclined to remain your friend rather than try to pursue something more. “You wouldn’t have looked twice at me if you had seen me on the streets of Baldur’s Gate.”

“Now that is just untrue, my dear Tav.” He reaches for your hand, taking it in his. “As you so bluntly pointed out that night, my motives for seducing you may partly have been driven by self-preservation, but I chose you for a reason — and not because you're our reluctant leader.”

His slender fingers grip you tighter and the touch is exactly what you need just then. “Is that so?” you echo, attempting to sound teasing. You fail spectacularly.

“I was drawn to you even before I started to develop feelings for you.” Lifting your hand, he presses a lingering kiss on the sensitive skin of your palm before resting it against his cheek. “At first, I thought it was the need for your body that kept you in my thoughts night and day. But as I got to know you better, I realised it was your mind — you — that held my attention.” Closing his eyes, he leans into the touch with a sigh. “What Cazador had me do… It taught me how to read people. But you…?” He opens his eyes again to look at you, and what you see makes your heart skip a beat. “I thought I had you figured out, but you continuously prove me wrong. And I appreciate that more than I can express.”

“Astarion.” There’s so much you want to say. So much you need to say. But in that moment, you finally find the courage to tell him what you should’ve told him weeks ago, so the rest will just have to wait. “Astarion, I love you.”

His eyes widen in surprise as something vulnerable flashes across his face. After five heartbeats — you know, because you counted — he lets go of your hand to gently cup your neck.

The kiss is soft and gentle. Careful. In a way, it feels like a first kiss.

“Why didn’t you tell me that instead of breaking up with me?” He kisses you again before you can reply. “There you go again, doing the unexpected.”

You don’t even try to hold back a smile. “Have to keep you on your toes, you know. And I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure it would be welcomed, you silly goose.” To your surprise, it no longer hurts as much thinking back to that night. “First you disappeared and then when I found you, you were sitting between Halsin and Shadowheart.”

“My my, were you jealous, darling?” he drawls in mock surprise. The bastard.

“Of course I was!” You very carefully wrap your arms around his waist, ignoring the ache from your injury. Because you need to feel him against you, pain be damned. “Why do you think I gave Gale so much attention?”

“And got yourself decadently drunk, too. It was a glorious sight.”

“Oh shush, you.” Despite yourself, you laugh.

“I have to apologise, though, my darling. I, too, was jealous.” His breath is warm against your cheek as he leans forward to rest his forehead against yours. “I could tell something was troubling you, but you kept being so elusive. I assumed… I thought that meant you only deemed me worthy of getting access to your body, and nothing more.”

“Astarion.” The sincerity and sorrow permeating his words make you feel like a villain. “Gods, I’m so sorry, too. At the time, I didn’t think you’d be interested in anything else.”

“I want anything and everything you give me, Tav.” You feel his fingers slide down your uninjured side, gripping you as firmly as he dares to. Lifting his head to get a better look at you, his eyes lock with yours. “I love you, with everything that I am.”

You can see the truth of it in his gaze, can feel it in his touch. He loves you. Was it always there and you were just blind to it? Or did he hide his feelings, just like you did?

It doesn’t matter, you decide, because all you need to know is that he’s in your arms.

“You have all of me, Astarion.”

“My beautiful Tav.”

You share another kiss, and then Astarion insists you both go back to camp to let you rest. The thrumming pain of the wound is there, but it’s easily overshadowed by the warmth blooming in your chest every time Astarion throws a smile your way on your way back. His hand is still linked with yours — it’s such a small detail but it feels infinitely more intimate than anything else you’ve shared with him so far. It’s impossible to stop smiling — not that you’re trying.

He follows you to your tent but to your dismay, he tries to leave after he has made sure that you have everything you need.

“Please don’t leave,” you say, refusing to let go of him. “I want you to stay. Stay the night.”

“Tav, my love, you’re in no condition to have sex.”

My love. It almost throws you off course to hear the new endearment. “Astarion, my love,” you counter, and oh, it’s worth it to see his reaction, “I wasn’t suggesting we’d have sex. I just want you close. Assuming that’s alright, of course.”

“Really?” He sounds just a tad surprised; that’s something you and he will need to unpack before going any further. But not tonight. “Well, that I can do.”

It takes a bit of careful shuffling around, but you manage to find a position that’s comfortable for you both without putting pressure on your injury.

He’s here. In your arms. You didn’t think you’d get to have this, but he truly is here. Your contented sigh is nothing but a muffled exhale into his curls but he doesn’t seem to mind, giving you a fond chuckle in response.

“Are you sniffing my hair, darling?”

“No.” It doesn’t sound convincing even to your own ears. “Well. Maybe a little,” you confess. “I can’t help that you smell nice.”

“Oh, I don’t mind, pet. Your scent is quite enticing too, you know.” You feel his chest expanding as he takes a deep inhale. “Drives me crazy sometimes.”

“Since you drive me crazy on a regular basis, I’d say that’s only fair.”

“Why, you little cheek..! Just watch me be even more annoying from now on.”

“You’re not annoying,” you say, trying to hold back a yawn. “You’re just a handful.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Of course–“ you lose the battle against another yawn. “…you will.”

You feel the press of his lips against your skin. “Quite right.”

“Astarion?” Your eyelids start to get heavy, and for the first in what seems like ages, you feel completely safe and relaxed. “I’m so happy I have you in my life.”

“Me too, darling. Me too.” His hand slides down to find yours, lacing your fingers. “Now go to sleep, my love. I’ll watch over us. And tomorrow we will face whatever comes next. Together.”

~~~

#astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic #bg3 tav #bg3 astarion #bg3 spoilers #no longer a wip because it’s finisheeeeed

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random2908 · 2 years

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You know, it was a very interesting perspective change to see Gideon from the outside. This was literally the first time we’ve ever had scenes with Gideon where we’re not hearing her internal thoughts, and it really changes her character.

Like, I know Muir consistently described Gideon as a “dirt bag” in tumblr posts and interviews when the first book came out.

And this is someone who kicked Harrow when she fainted rather than catching her; this is someone who, when carrying an unconscious Harrow intentionally bumped her into walls and doorways in the hopes that she’d wake up with mysterious bruises on her head or maybe even a concussion. But, you know, we heard her internal narrative at that time, we heard about how she was holding back from doing worse, but also about how she’d been so consistently abused that maybe this was all justice anyway.

But we saw her grow and change, we saw her be kind to Harrow at the end (...and then not), we saw her stop hating on the teens and actually care when they died. Corona liked her (Corona pretty much never heard her speak), Magnus liked her (Magnus literally never heard her speak), Jeannemary liked her (Jeannemary was a teen looking for a role model and would have latched on to her no matter what her personality). So when she came back and never had a good thing to say to anyone at the end of the second book, we were all rooting for her anyway--she was awesome and they all deserved her wrath and her snark, because we’d been in her head for two books.

And now we have... she’s rude to Nona, because Nona is possessing Harrow’s body, and because Nona kissed her based on her body-language reaction to thinking she was seeing Harrow. If it were Gideon’s narrative still, we’d be told how well and truly justified she is, how sketchy and even villainous Nona is; but it’s Nona’s narrative so instead we hear about how rude Gideon is in her body language, not even her conscious choice of words.

We have, she’s about to give Paul her jacket but gets awkward and doesn’t. Nona sees her fail to help; in Gideon’s narrative her instinct was to help but she just felt too awkward.

We have, she says the same rude jokes to everyone that she did in the first two books, but even though Pal and Cam are still putting up with that, even though Ianthe still thinks she’s funny, we’re getting it from Nona’s perspective and Nona doesn’t like her and so doesn’t like her rude jokes.

Ianthe actually does like her, and it’s not clear whether that’s a point in her favor or not.

It’s the same Gideon through and through, she even gets mad at Alecto usurping her place in service to Harrow. But what a difference an uncharitable reading makes.

#nona the ninth #nona the ninth spoilers #ntn #ntn spoilers

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restinslices · 5 months

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MK1 x Winter Soldier Reader Intros

Me not writing only about the Lin Kuei Bros? Who would've thought. Idk why I thought of this but here we are. For those not into Marvel the simplest way to explain TWS is he was in the Army in the 50s then he was injected with the super soldier serum and forced to become an assassin with over two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years. You're not a white guy named James “Bucky” Barnes, you just hold the title. Also you got a metal arm, it’ll make sense later-

Kung Lao: You’re a Winter Soldier?

Y/N: I am The Winter Soldier

Kung Lao: Ugh, more training?

Y/N: Do you expect to get better through sheer luck?

Kung Lao: I take it Liu Kang doesn’t allow assassins to be Earthrealm’s champion?

Y/N: Assassins and failures, such as yourself

Kung Lao: How do I become a Winter Soldier?

Y/N: You don’t

Raiden: It is an honor to be trained by you

Y/N: As is to train Earthrealm’s champion

Raiden: I can’t imagine going through what you have

Y/N: Good. You’ll save yourself nightmares

Y/N: Sometimes I worry I’m not a good person

Raiden: You are a good person through and through

Y/N: I wish I had lightning powers

Raiden: I wish I had your metal arm

(These rabid dogs behind him-)

Liu Kang: I hoped your life would be better this time

Y/N: Why hope when you had the power to change it and didn’t?

Y/N: You let my life go down this path?

Liu Kang: I cannot control everything

Y/N: You let me be a part of Earthrealm’s defenses, why? Pity?

Liu Kang: Because you are a capable warrior who deserves more in life

Liu Kang: Do you doubt my care for you?

Y/N: You expect me to still believe our friendship is real?

Y/N: I am not playing an assassin in your movie

Johnny: Aw, but you have tons of experience

Johnny: How much for the arm?

Y/N: Not for sale

(That debt kicking his ass)

Johnny: Your life could make an amazing movie

Y/N: You’ll become a real victim if I see it

Johnny: Over two dozen assassinations but a date with me would ruin you?

Y/N: If I had to pick between being a mindless assassin and dating you, I’d put my mask back on

Kenshi: Wanna trade predicaments?

Y/N: A blindfold looks much better on you

Kenshi: Have you ever fought a blind swordsman?

Y/N: Not sure it’d be fair to count it as a fight

Y/N: I too understand the need for a new life

Kenshi: Perhaps that is why we are such good friends

Kenshi: Planning on giving me a hand?

Y/N: I don’t think you’d see it coming

Y/N: And they call me The Winter Soldier

Bi-Han: Jokes will not help you win this fight

Bi-Han: You have not a shred of hope against the Lin Kuei’s Grandmaster

Y/N: Your ego is what’ll knock you down in the end

Bi-Han: You won’t have the element of surprise with me

Y/N: Oh Bi-Han, I’ll be the last thing you see before you die

Bi-Han: You alone won’t take the Lin Kuei down

Y/N: I’ve taken a whole country down in one night. Excuse me for not being scared

Kuai Liang: I am glad to have your support

Y/N: You always will

Y/N: Are you willing to kill Bi-Han if he does not back down?

Kuai Liang: I am not sure

Y/N: Liu Kang could’ve made all our lives better and chose not to

Kuai Liang: You have to believe in his judgment

Kuai Liang: Liu Kang is not your enemy

Y/N: He is certainly not our friend

Y/N: I’ve heard you’re a great fighter

Tomas: I’ve heard the same about you

Tomas: You look great for 106 years old

Y/N: God, you gotta stop hanging around Johnny

Tomas: Why still defend Earthrealm if you’re so angry?

Y/N: The same reason you do; the need to protect is bigger than anger

Tomas: Why’d I have to hit Madam Bo and not you?

Y/N: I’m left/right handed and that’s the metal one soooo…

"I'm gonna write angst soon" *proceeds to write dumb Marvel x Mortal Kombat shit* I could've looked for gifs when they clash but my tumblr is actually so glitchy, if I did that I'd Kate Marsh. Also disclaimer. I should be writing Liar pt 3 and I have some of it written but I'm fr not having fun with it. For whatever reason it's just not making me happy like Mortal Kombat is. And as a bitch who has bad depression and that shit gets alarmingly bad during this time of year, uhhh I don't wanna do something that's not making me happy. I'm not tryna go to another hospital so Imma put off writing it until I'm having fun. Who knows, maybe that'll be next week. But yeah, that's for the Shadow and Bone fans here. Also also a fanfic, oneshot, drabble, whatever the fuck about being with Liu Kang (or being friends) and thinking your relationship is fake because as your creator he must've forced it to happen (he didn't but ya know). Am I cooking 'cause I feel like I am.

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telvess · 9 months

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Record of Ragnarok Poseidon (relationship headcanons) 🔞

My first attempt in writing anything in… eternity. I’m not a native English speaker but trying to improve myself, sorry for all mistakes I've made. I didn’t write any major spoilers but used knowledge from manga. Also + still no clue how tumblr works.

Poseidon is such a adorable idiot.

SFW Not gonna lie, to catch his eye (not to mention eye-to-eye contact) there will be needed someone really specific. Someone similar to him in general, but unique in details. I think Poseidon is really good observant. Just because he’s indifferent to others, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t pay attention. He would notice nuances in behaviour, manners and gestures. His future s/o must be elegant, self-contained and pride. Maybe not in the haughty way but undoubtedly confident in her position as a goddess. Definitely not ‘damsel in distress’ type, she has to have guts to rule her sphere, protect her opinion and status. No other god or goddess shall stick their nose in her business. Unless they’re ready for harsh words or worse. In summary: a less extreme version of Poseidon. On the other hand, I don't think these qualities are enough to draw Poseidon's interest. It’s good base but potential s/o must get under his skin. Intentionally or no, she has to do or say something that would get his attention, and annoy him… He wasn't seeking her subtle chitchat, nor did he want to end up witnessing her fight! Congratulations, miss! You accidentally annoyed Tyrant of the Seas! Choose a burial place. Jokes aside, the best thing s/o can do here is ignore Poseidon. He thinks he wants that, but hey! Looks like he played himself. Now s/o annoys him even more and he cannot understand why. Such a useless bottom feeder and he can’t get over her?

She was like a sea: capricious and unpredictable in nature, always remained resistant to the expectations of others. But sea bend to his will like tamed puppy. He stamp his foot and it humbly part before him. That’s what he couldn’t stand - how little control he had over her, how unbearably free this woman was compared to other gods who ran away in terror as soon as he merely frowned.

Poseidon would catch himself thinking about her in the least expected moments. He used to almost never leave his realm, now suddenly is more present in social life. Still doesn’t care much, usually just staying in loneliness that nobody dare to disturb and observing from distant object of his contempt. As if nothing had changed, yet it did. Probably the only people that would notice he’s different will be Hermes and Hades. When first one won’t act on it nor share his observations, the eldest brother definitely won’t resist to make some ambiguous comments.

— Well that’s unusual of you, dear brother — said Hades. He toyed with his glass of wine, watching carefully Poseidon, who looked as unconcerned as ever. However he honoured him with one short glance. Hades couldn’t stop the corners of his lips to lift up. Did his little brother seem… disturbed? Or was that just his imagination? If Hades could pick one thing out of everything known in the universe that was unshakable and untouched by time or any other matter Poseidon would be his choice. Unaffected stability that did not leave any room for doubt and yet… something… someone push his stern brother out of his safe zone. Hades couldn’t wait to see what else the future may bring to them. He just hoped the intruder will be able to keep up with the challenge.

It will actually take a lot of time for Poseidon to realize that he isn’t annoyed with s/o but himself. Idea of being attached to another person is almost physically uncomfortable. It’s new and suspicious. The moment of understanding is the flash point of the relationship. At this point Poseidon would abandon distant admiration and start acting. He is still slightly annoyed but what’s more irritate him is the absent of that unbearable mouth of s/o. Poseidon would sit next to her or stand much closer at any events. At first she won't notice, but over time she'll start to connect the facts. She’s not dumb. Quiet neither. If she point it out, he may mock her.

— Why don't you just ask me to dance instead of deterring others? It would be a graceful way to start a relationship. Poseidon gave her almost cold look. — Such a audacity — his voice teetered on the verge of indifference - he thought so. She snorted. Her eyes weren’t darkened with anger, sparks of mirth still shone in them. Maybe even more after his refusal. Then she turned to face him and, with a subtle but promising smile, began to close the distance between them. Poseidon remained calm as she came within inches of him. He could feel the warm breath of hers, the smell of fresh air… — You know you want me — she whispered without hesitation. Something unbearably nagging was born in Poseidon’s belly. And that annoying heat under it… almost as someone wounded him. He frowned but didn’t move away. — How are you going to win me over if you can't stop fighting with yourself? — she asked innocently and didn't wait for an answer - just left him on the balcony.

Truth be told, Poseidon wasn’t made for small talks so s/o is doing most of the part and - to provoke a reaction - teasing him a bit. After a while, they both find the silence in their presence pleasant. Poseidon’s seduce tactic would mostly navigate around small gestures such as gifts. However he won’t send them like every normal suitor. If his s/o lives near the ocean or is often near it, she would probably find many beautiful pearls by chance. All of them in her favourites colours of course. Is she basking on the beach? The finest shells surround her. Is she admiring shoal of fish, coral reef or just the sound of the sea? There are no storms. And go on… It’s hard for Poseidon to overcome his pride and openly talk about his desire. When he finally bring himself to it, he’ll sound angry as if he’s doing something unworthy of him. Once s/o assures him that she wants to know more, Poseidon would relax.

— I want you to remind me every day how unbearable I am. How capricious… how impertinent… — she kissed his hand without taking her eyes off him and then put it to her cheek. Poseidon liked the cool touch of her skin — And still watch me with that quiet yet deep fascination.

Yeah, s/o has to make it official by saying out loud how she feels and Poseidon generously accept the offer…

NSFW For Poseidon to be in any relationship, especially romantic is almost impossible. He doesn’t get involved with others because, in his opinion, they’re not worth it. So nobody would force on him arranged marriage. He must be the one choosing that path. That’s why I don’t believe he would ever degenerating his s/o. The reason is simple - he would treat his wife with the same level of respect he treats Hades. Otherwise she wouldn’t be his wife; she cannot be someone less. I also don’t think he would praise her much, probably only when he’s in right mood she would hear complement here and there. His s/o must be good at reading his minimalistic facial expressions and body language. She may notice how his eyes widen in admiration, how he holds his breath for a moment or tightens the jaw muscles when feels really good. He’s not vocal; purrs or growls only on occasion. Poseidon has his moments where he shows desire for s/o. He won’t say it loud but won’t take his eyes off her as she undress in the evening. Yeah, she definitely gonna feel that burning look on her back. The only place where he become caring and warm is in bedroom, in private, far from servants’ eyes. These kind of moments are rare. Mostly because they both take their responsibilities seriously, which means they've been separated for a long time. Poseidon is calm, methodical lover. He’s detail-oriented - would leave no curve or plane untouched from his hands or tongue. He’ll enjoy every sound, shaking and blush s/o make, and act in accordance with the mentioned gestures. Poseidon prefers variants of missionary position to share eye contact though he wouldn’t say no to his s/o if she wants to ride him. In intimidating moment he enjoys challenging her to not close eyes when he thrusts deep into her. He starts with slow and almost annoyed pace that soon becomes raw and firm when they both chase their release. Afterward they usually lay in bed in silent, both satisfied and tired. Poseidon won’t say it loud but he really likes when his wife show him affections at that time. Slowly almost lazily massaging his chest, touching his neck and jaw, putting small kisses on his ear or cheek. Her tender words soft him. Poseidon doesn’t entirely return the favour but when she does all this to him, he caresses her back, pretending to be indifferent.

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #ror poseidon #snv poseidon #snv poseidon x reader #ror poseidon x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #record of ragnarok x reader #ror x reader #snv x reader #udj

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meowufff · 7 months

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Okay!

First of all: I am very sorry it took so long to finish this! It had been a lot more data than last time, so I had some trouble to visualize and edit it this time around. I really hope I made it work somehow so enjoy this lil conclusion thingy and feel free to add or mention anything that comes to your mind~

In this survey I have asked a total of 188 people multiple questions surrounding sleep habits, their consume of caffein and its influence on them and got an answer from 104 of these.

So let’s beginning with the average hours per sleep these people had.

Well, as we saw in the last survey I did, most people I have asked didn’t had a good sleep schedule. The average hours that a rottmnt tumblr artist out of 104 get is 6,48 hours per night.

I tried my best to categorize the hours into 1-3; 4-6; 6-7; 7-9; 10+ h/night. The most common one being 4-6 h/night and 7-9 h/night which is a little surprising remembering that only 18% of people of my last survey actually have a “good”-sleep schedule in hindsight that the recommended amount of sleep is 7-9 hours/night.

These numbers could be explained that for a lot of people the amount of hours they sleep depends on factors like if they´re having a stressful time at the moment or how much they did over the day so the numbers itself varied often from 3-8 hours. Of course, no one sleeps the exact amount of hours every single time so the range a lot people mentioned had been partly very big.

Now that we know how many hours most artist sleep per night, we should take a look at how many hours they consider enough to technically get through the day which is 4,94 hours.

Because the answered had been very specific for most parts I decided to categorize them into full 1 till 9+ hours and steps in between as 1-2; 2-3; 3-4; etc. hours, the most common ones being 4 and 5 hours. Which is kind of close to the average amount they get.

So some could take the wild guess that a lot of people are surviving on their minimum hours per night as daily basis.

For my next question I could have been more specific with what I meant. My thought behind that question had been, how many hours are a lot in consideration to a not-so-great sleep schedule. For example, a person who usually gets 5-6 hours of sleep could consider getting 7 or 8 hours as a lot.

Some didn’t answer that part which is understandable as the meaning isn’t that clear. I still got a lot of interesting answers! For example, the average “a lot of hours of sleep” value is 9,59 hours.

Now let’s get to the caffein!

Surprisingly to me, considering the small average hour per night, 53,85% do not consume any caffein over the day and only 39,42% have it included into their daily routine. The small amount of 6,73% of people use it only as last resort.

On the other hand, after reading all the effects caffein has on most of the people I asked I am not as surprised they´re not consuming it regularly.

Talking about the different effects of caffein on people please look at the following two pictures where I tried my best to visualize the different answers as good as possible.

In the first one you can see the descriptions how the people are feeling before consuming any caffein. The bigger the word the more often it had been mentioned.

In the second you will see the way they feel after consuming any kind of caffein.

It is pretty prominent that a majority doesn’t feel any different afterwords which could be an explanation why the amount of people drinking caffein is that “small”. But even if the second biggest word is the usual effect caffein has the one directly after that are words like tired, sluggish, jittery which are most definitely affects no one likes to experience.

A lot of the described feelings could be lined to stuff like ADHD or insomnia or anything else where caffein can show a paradox or even negative effect on someone. I have read that a lot of people still like to consume drinks with caffein in it but not because of the effect but more for the taste.

As someone who needs to drink either very strong coffee or energy to actually feel any effect of the caffein, I found it very interesting to see that people mentioned to enjoy drinking tea as little energy boost.

For me tea, or coke or any other caffeinated soda, has such a little amount of caffein in it that I, for myself, didn’t even had it categorized as something that could be used as little caffein booster.

It hadn’t been a question, but I still noted down the kind of drinks people choose to drink as daily caffein source, which actually shows that coffee is the usual to go drink but again, surprisingly lot told me that they don’t drink tea (or anything else) as daily basis but more randomly whenever they feel like it.

In the end, what can we conclude out of all this messy information?

So, the usual hours you should sleep is put on 7-8 hours per night.

The average hours out of 104 artists in the rottmnt tumblr bubble is 6,48 hours per night with a minimum needed of 4,94 hours to get through the day. The maximum hours got in a night lay by 9,6 hours.

53,85% of these 104 go through their every day without the help of any caffein.

39,42% have caffein included into their daily routine.

6, 73% see caffein only as their last resort and try to avoid consuming any for as long as possible.

Thank you, a lot, for reading so far and thousand thanks to all the people participating in this lil survey again! I had a lot of fun doing this and I hope this little conclusion here is entertaining enough to make it worth having to answer my “few” questions!

If you want to share your own opinion or point out any mistakes I may have made, please feel free to do so~

I wish everyone a happy day and or good night!

If you are interested into my first survey, pls click here :3 Special Thanks to all of the participants!!! @heckitall @triona-tribblescore @butterfilledpockets @crownedcrowrow @pezhead @wraenata @zinovi768 @cokowiii @idiot-mushroom @less-depresso-more-espresso @mightyanxiety @sweeneydino @2aceofspades @mobiitez @onejellyfishplease @titenoute @arrora-art @indieyuugure @tblsomedoodles @theelvishfiddler @tasenwiththerobots @iredoodles @sushixstar @turrondeluxe @signanothername @adorabledrugl0rd @mr-doodles @theastroghost @djpachipikachu @hellishgayliath @frosteaart @godsfaultycreations @koolaidashley @soda-kazoo @tapakah0 @v-albion @sad-leon @angelpuns @sharkfinn @venelona-turtle-den @goatedgreen @graphitehybrid @laseralligator @peach-moths @vangh17a @debb987 @lieutenantbiscute @sunnyyyteaaa @0ransje @manga-toons

#average sleep deprivation survey #Survey #survey about rottmnt tumblr artist #this was lots fun #i love doing these #thx for reading~

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flightfoot · 6 months

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Hi, since you're the ML fanfic authority around these parts, can you rec any fics based on the paris special? Even if its not finished or is abandoned it doesn't matter, i'm in desperate need of more paris special content. thank you!

Oooh, yes I can! Of course there aren't a ton of them as of yet, but there's still enough to scratch your itch, I hope! Luckily most of these I already have recs written out for, for the large rec lists I'm gonna publish at the end of the year (or well, the beginning of next year, actually). I'll tag everyone whose tumblr handles I know, but feel free to tag anyone I didn't get!

First, I'll start off with the complete fics.

If We Run, We Run Together by @heartfulselkie

The mockery of his laugh had always made her want to punch Griffe in the face, but now the thought wasn't even crossing her mind. The teasing tone in his voice and smugness of his grin had faded, his cocky attitude dissolving into something more genuine. Was that what his real laugh sounded like? Was that what his real smile looked like?

I loved seeing Toxinelle and Griffe Noir awkwardly start relearning how to be around each other, without hiding behind uncaring facades. They've got a long way to go, but they're getting there!

---

Back to Life (Back to Reality) by @2manyfandoms2count

Toxinelle and Griffe Noire return to their world after their night in the canon timeline.

I loved seeing these two talking a bit more amiably, especially with Toxinelle commenting on how silent Adrien is as a civilian. That doesn’t appear to be something he really wants to dwell on.

---

Here’s Hopes For Moving Forward... by allthingsasian

Gabriel finds out his son is Claw Noir.

Set just after the Paris Special...

I loved seeing Gabriel’s perspective here, finding Claw Noir broken down, crying on his son’s bedroom floor, and realizing what that means. How badly Adrien must have been hurting, how he’d been lashing out and hurting everyone he could reach, including himself, with the self-cataclysm.

But now, Adrien and Gabriel are ready to talk, with Adrien getting the hug he’s sorely needed for a long time.

---

The Supreme Movers by PearlO_O

Continuation of Tales of Shadybug and Claw Noir.

Adrien and Marinette battle with the emotional aftermath of meeting their alternate selves.

This was an excellent follow-up to the Paris Special! To be clear, the Adrien and Marinette here are Claw Noir and Shady Bug, not the ones from the show we’ve been following all this time. I really liked Adrien and Marinette reflecting and recontextualizing how their parents have been acting in more positive ways, and getting more positive responses in turn, along with them reassessing how they’ve been acting and reaching out to Alya and Nino. There’s this theme of “it doesn’t matter who we were or what mistakes we made, but who we want to be and that we keep moving forward”.

---

Keep Me Safe Inside by RoFair

Adrien Agreste, formally known as Claw Noir attempts to get to know the girl he admires behind the mask of the reformed Shadybug. He has a plan, but it is derailed by a blonde bully.

I love how smitten Adrien is with Marinette! He might have a lot of bravado as Claw Noir, but he’s kinda shy as a civilian. Of course, that all goes out the window when Marinette needs help - like when she’s being bullied and is nearing a breakdown.

---

Eat, Pray, Duck by @trishacollins

Gabriel Agreste split his twin sons apart when his wife died, keeping one with him and sending one to London with his sister. Unfortunately, the Supreme was not willing to let this be.

He wanted a matched set.

Felix is a weapon, a servant of the Supreme. On a mission to retrieve the stolen Miraculous.

In a world that has outlawed kindness, sometimes the most dangerous person is the one who chooses it anyway.

I love this glimpse at what might have been going on with Felix back in Shadybug and Claw Noir’s world, I did wonder what might have been going on with him. Poor kid, he managed to have it even worse than he did in canon. I really loved seeing his interactions with Luka, the Couffaines rebel through kindness it seems!

---

Friends who kiss by @kuromori4

It’s been about a week since Shadybug and Claw Noir’s goody-two shoes alternate universe counterparts convinced them to betray the Supreme and join the Resistance. And while they are determined to be better… It hasn’t been easy. While both Shadybug and Claw Noir have a lifetime of problems to untangle if they want to be good people, they realize a new look doesn’t magically make you a nice person. As if that weren’t hard enough to deal with, the two ex-Villains struggle with defining what their new relationship might be.

I love the two of them talking things out, and struggling. Shadybug in particular is still very prickly and prone to making snide comments about Adrien, even though she doesn’t really know him, and she still hasn’t totally come to terms with her own true feelings about Claw Noir. Though by the end they um. Figure that out, I guess you could say XD.

---

These next two are WIPS, I've really been enjoying them so far!

Cracked White Porcelain by between

The basement is a wreck by the time they return and it takes her a moment to remember where their last fight in their world had really led them. "Remind me, please," Noir says, voice still but a fragile tingle against her ear. "To think about it, later." "You'll have to," she agrees with a nod. His hand is shaking in hers. "I know." They both pretend they aren't holding onto each other as they blindly, foolishly, follow their enemy, their ally, through the shadows of their city. (An act of treason against the Supreme doesn't leave you with a lot of places to go. Giving up on your goals is a lot easier when the consequences of your actions haven't caught up to you yet.)

This fic mostly covers what happens immediately after they return to Hesperia's HQ, with Marinette and Adrien freeing their kwamis of their gags, for starters. Marinette and Adrien apparently figured out that Hesperia is Gabriel before the events of the Paris Special here (since well, his HQ is beneath the Agreste Mansion, so that makes it pretty obvious) while Gabriel still has no clue, which leads to an interesting dynamic, especially since Gabriel's worried about his son while having no clue that he's right in front of him.

---

One step forward, no steps back by @theerurishipper

Wanting to move on, wanting to choose to be part of the world, meant looking at it. And it also meant he had to look at all the fear, the heartache, the terror and rage and anger that he had caused. And he’s not sure how to come back from it all. It all feels so hopeless, like there’s nothing he can do anymore. But he can’t go back either. Not to that life. Not after everything, not knowing that something better is possible. For better or worse, that optimistic, hopeful part of him that he’d thought long lost has awakened once more, and holding onto it feels much better than the consuming despair that had plagued him for months. But it all feels like it could fall apart any second. And he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to bear losing himself a second time.

This fic's from Adrien's perspective, dealing with the new changes in his life. You get a good look into the mindset that led him to becoming Claw Noir to begin with, how he was breaking down and lashing out at everyone around him, and had little concern for even his own survival.

Things are getting better though, slowly. Nino's willing to hear him out, and he and Marinette are really talking, in ways they didn't before, when they were villains. Even his relationship with Plagg's on the mend, and Hesperia's acting like a father to him (which well, considering what we readers know of their relationship... XD).

But the Supreme isn't willing to just let Adrien skip off to a happier future...

#ask #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic rec #ml paris special #toxigriffe #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #toxinelle #griffe noir #shady bug #claw noir #shadyclaw #tales of shadybug and claw noir

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marvelouslizzie · 1 year

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unconventional methods - chapter 2

Summary: Bucky Barnes struggles with his feelings towards Bunny, leading him to make a big mistake. Now he must make it right. It means doing something he is uncomfortable with.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes x Adult Content Creator Reader)

Word Count: 6.7K

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, texting, overthinking, self-doubt, misunderstandings, pet names, video call, mutual masturbation, slight dirty talk if you squint, metal arm use, use of a dildo, teasing, small dose of sub/dom dynamic, no mention of y/n.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who showed interest in the first chapter. I really didn't expect this story to get the attention it did. Means a lot to me. If you didn't read the first chapter, you definitely should before reading this one.

unconventional methods - chapter 1

marvelous lizzie's masterlist

This story will end with chapter three, which will most likely come out the following Sunday (12th March)

Once again >> indicates incoming messages and <<; indicates outgoing messages.

Once again a big thank you to @notafunkiller and @es1dit for everything. Extra thanks to @notafunkiller for the beta-read and for helping me to improve the story. You two are the best!

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Every like, comment and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message me or send me a question or comment regarding the stories I write. I would love to talk about it and no, it would never bother me as long as it’s not a hate comment. They are never welcome.

Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.

Gifs belong to @fysebastianstan I wanted to add them through Tumblr gifs but couldn't find them that way. I hope it's alright to use them and if not, I can remove them if requested.

<<< Previous Chapter

After that magical night, Bucky found himself overthinking again. He was definitely struggling with the feelings he had for her. They were sexual, but that was not all. He had been in only sexual relationships before the war. It was like an agreement: purely sexual and for fun. Some girls wanted a bit more experience before finding the love of their lives, and it was totally fine, but this… this definitely wasn’t the same. He was feeling possessive over her and the feeling was so strange, especially considering they did not even meet face to face.

Of course, he knew he wasn’t the only person she was sharing this side of herself with. Posting adult content was literally her job. There was no doubt other men would like to get closer to her and she would probably talk to them a little, see how she feels and if things fall into place, they would get to see this side of her and she would get aroused just for them. A rare sight. Anybody would be lucky to witness that.

He still couldn’t believe she was into him. It was probably more of the idea of him, not the real him since she didn’t know who he actually is, right? He knew his dick wasn’t a disappointment, his body was fine, but definitely could be better. There was always space for improvement. She did not see the metal arm or his face. She only heard his voice, saw some parts of his body, and created a different version of Bucky. Not even Bucky, James. Some 33-year-old dude named James who was partially good-looking. In her mind, he must be someone else, completely different from reality.

That was what she should be for him too, right? Some random super attractive girl on the internet who was willing to talk to him? Nothing more. Yet he couldn’t force himself to feel nothing but sexual attraction toward her. He tried to focus on work, but he couldn’t. Mission reports were always boring anyway. How were they supposed to distract him?

>> Hey handsome, I hope you’re having a good day.

Her texting him doesn’t help, either. It’s just making it harder for him to stay away. He needed to distance himself, get a new perspective and maybe, maybe have a chance to realize he was being ridiculous. But she was so hard to resist her, especially when she was just wishing him a good day like this, with no expectation or pressure.

<< Hey, Bunny. It’s boring, but I’ll survive. I hope you are having a good day.

>> Oh, I’m having a great day. Especially after last night…

Bucky closed his eyes and took a deep breath when he read the message. He just wished she wouldn’t bring it up. It was great, he can’t deny it, but he knew… he fucking knew it was nothing special for her, and remembering that just broke his heart a little more. She shouldn’t have to act like it meant something to her. The idea of her faking something was just unbearable.

<< You know you don’t have to…

>> I don’t have to what?

<< I’m grateful that you made me feel special. It felt great, but I know I’m not special or anything and you don’t have to act like I am. It’s fine.

Her responses came in so quickly, he had a bit of a hard time following them.

>> What the fuck, James?

>> What the actual fuck?

>> Do you think I am doing this with everyone?

>> Is that how low you think of me?

>> You think I open my messages, talk to the ones that seem okay, and send them special photos in my spare time?

>> Why would I fucking do that? What am I gaining? Loyal followers? More paying customers? People don’t wanna pay shit for things they can get for free. I know that better than anyone. It’s my job!

>> You think I pick the ones that are good-looking, and just have fun? If that were the case you wouldn’t even have a chance! Do you know why? You don’t even have a profile picture! I didn’t even know your name for days! I don’t even know if you are single or married or divorced!

>> If you think I’m treating loyal customers like this or something you are wrong. God, I feel so stupid because I thought you were different. Why would you be any different than the others? Just because you respected my boundaries, just because you didn’t ask for private photos, and just because you reminded me of those gentlemen from 40s movies, it doesn’t mean you are not after the same thing they are.

>> You have no idea what I am risking just by talking with you. God, I’m so stupid.

>> You got what you want and now you are done with the small talk. I get it. I’m backing off. Sorry for disturbing you.

<< Bunny, bunny, bunny!

<< No, please, stop! That’s not what I meant.

<< Please, give me a chance to explain myself.

<< Please.

<< That’s not what this was, believe me.

>> Explain what? How this is nothing special for you? It was just a bit of fun time with the girl you were following online? I don’t want to hear it.

>> You don’t have to explain anything to me. You don’t owe me an explanation, I’m just a random girl who shares adult content. Obviously, I have no soul or feelings.

<< I’m the one who has feelings for you, okay?! I didn’t think you would find me interesting or special because I don’t feel like I am.

<< I am sorry. I think I was just projecting. That’s what my therapist would say.

<< I just didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable with my feelings. I thought they would be totally unrequited.

>> You have feelings for me?

>> You better not be lying to get out of trouble, James!

<< I’m not, I swear. Just give me a chance, okay?

>> Fine. You get one chance. Tonight. You explain yourself on a video call or I’m not talking to you anymore.

<< Whatever you want, doll. Whatever you want. Just don’t step out of my life.

***

The day did not seem to pass fast enough. It felt like time was standing still just to torture Bucky more. The work was much more boring than usual: a lot of paperwork, signatures, and chasing the right people. Not that he was chasing anyone. He was sitting and pitying himself while waiting for Natasha to show up. He just wanted to get up and leave, but apparently, it wasn’t possible. When Natasha finally stepped inside, Bucky groaned out of frustration.

“Oh, fucking finally, Romanoff.”

Natasha didn’t even look at him.

“I was busy. What do you need?”

“A couple of signatures.” She leaned in and started to sign the papers as quickly as possible. She was never reading what she was signing because who had time to read a 25-page-long mission report? Apparently, Bucky Barnes because he had to write it from the scratch. Like his day wasn’t horrible enough... “I wish we could just go on missions, and that would be it.”

“Oh, that’s the dream, Barnes. That’s the dream.” She finally put her pen down. “I’ve been writing the mission reports for months. It’s your turn now, stop complaining.”

“I know, I know.” He accepted the defeat much easier than he normally would.

“Are you alright?”

Bucky looked up at her from his seat. Was he alright? Definitely not. He could feel a heavy knot inside his chest, burning his lungs and stomach while he was waiting for tonight. Of course, he wasn’t going to say that to Romanoff.

“I’m fine.”

“Doesn’t look like you are. Whatever it is, stop overthinking.”

“Easier said than done,” he murmured.

“Look, I know it’s not an on-off switch, but you gotta try a little bit harder. Shift your focus on something else or just face whatever makes you this… uneasy.”

“I’m gonna face it. Shifting my focus is not helping.”

Natasha gave him a suspicious look. She had no idea what this was about, but she had a feeling it might be because of the pretty girl she suggested to him. Or was it just wishful thinking? No, wishful thinking wasn’t something she did often. She was always a big realist and something was definitely up with Barnes.

“Good.” She simply answered. She knew him well enough to guess pressuring him to talk wouldn’t work on him. “We have a meeting tomorrow.”

Bucky groaned in frustration because he was just done with the mission report and now SHIELD was ready to send them in another mission again.

“We need a break.”

“This one is pretty urgent. Apparently, it’s been an undercover operation for a while now and they finally got the info they need. We’ll need to leave right after the meeting.”

“An undercover operation, huh? Interesting.”

“Be here at 9. Fury wants us all present, it’s really important.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll be there.”

***

Bucky had no idea when the video call was gonna happen, but he was already feeling too self-conscious. His face was known to most people all over the world since he was accused of killing the king of Wakanda. Then working for SHIELD became a big deal. He wasn’t sure how Bunny would react when she realized he was the Winter Soldier. He wasn’t ready for that.

>> Are you there? I’m available for that video chat.

<< I am.

>> OK. I’m calling you.

He quickly turned his laptop on, hoping he would keep the camera off for the conversation. Maybe just hearing his voice would be enough for her.

“James?” Her voice was so soft and silky. Hearing her saying his name like that made him shiver a little.

“Yes, doll?”

“Why is your camera off?” Of course, she wasn’t gonna let it go. What was he even thinking?

“I am not…” He actually didn’t know what to say. “I don’t feel comfortable…”

“You don’t feel comfortable with me? Is that what you’re saying?” She definitely sounded offended.

“No, it’s not like that. I don't feel comfortable... and you might not feel comfortable either."

“Why?”

“It’s hard to explain.” He was hoping she would just let it go.

“Try me.” She didn’t.

“Please, doll… Let’s just talk.” He was practically begging at this point.

“Jamie, if you don’t turn the camera on, I’m leaving. We can’t continue like this.” She sounded so determined, it was scary. And her calling him Jamie? A part of him melted. He had noticed how her calling him Jamie influenced him in this way. Maybe because his mom called him Jamie when he was little. Bucky came later when he was a teenager. Before that, he was Jamie at home.

“Don’t. Please, don’t.”

“Don’t what? Call you Jamie?” The defensive tone of her voice was breaking his heart.

“Don’t leave.” He quickly turned the camera on, afraid she might just leave. Then he heard her gasp. Fuck, she’s scared, he thought. “I told you it might be uncomfortable.”

She quickly pulled herself together.

“Yeah, it’s so uncomfortable looking at that pretty face.” She managed to say, trying to hide her surprise. “Or those blue eyes. Do you ever look in the mirror Bu-bunny?”

“Bunny?” He repeated confused. “You are the bunny, not me, doll.”

“If you say so.” She shrugged, licking her lips nervously. “I can’t believe you have been hiding this face all this time.” she tried to focus on him. “Why did you even think I would be uncomfortable?”

“Don’t you know… who I am?” he sounded nervous again, thinking he might have to explain his past. It’s always tedious. How can you say you were a brainwashed assassin in a less threatening way? You can’t. That was the problem.

“I know you were the Winter Soldier if that’s what you are asking.”

Oh.

“That explains the reaction.”

“No, it was because of your pretty face. Not because of your past. I’m in no position to judge you for your past. Whatever you did, you had no control over it. That’s pretty obvious.”

“How can you be so sure?” His question came instantly.

“Maybe I can tell you how and why one day, but not today.” She sounded a bit uncomfortable, so Bucky didn’t want to push her.

“Whenever you want, Bunny. I will always be here to listen.”

“Can I see your arm?” The change of topic came too suddenly. Her question caught Bucky off guard.

“Huh?”

“Your metal arm. It’s vibranium, right?” She was talking about the arm he has been trying to hide so hard. Does she really want to see that arm?

“Yes, it is.” He tried to sound as normal as possible.

“Can I see it?” She repeated eagerly.

Without saying anything, Bucky curled up his sleeve to reveal a part of his arm, still feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“Wow.” She looked stunned. “It looks… so pretty. The gold details. Wow.”

Her expression was something that can’t be faked. She was so genuinely surprised and interested. It gave Bucky the confidence he needed.

“Wanna see the rest?”

Bunny nodded excitedly, making Bucky smile. He took his henley off pretty quickly, and his metal arm, broad chest, and dog tags were on full display.

“Now I know why you only had one arm in every picture you sent me. Smart move, Sergeant Barnes.” Her eyes were still on his body, focusing on his arm. Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he felt this desired. Oh, god she definitely knows who I am, he thought. Getting called by his rank did things to him. He could feel the blood rushing to the other places. It’s not the time, it’s not the time, he tried to remind himself, yet a low groan escaped his lips before he could control it.

“So am I gonna see the rest, Sergeant?”

He gave her a confused look. When he asked that question he meant the rest of his arm, but apparently Bunny had different ideas.

“You mean…”

“The rest of your body, yes.”

“I thought we were gonna talk.” He tried to hide how much he was actually enjoying this change.

“We were, but I changed my mind.” Bucky smiled once again. Maybe I still got it, he thought.

“Because of the arm?”

“Because of you and yes, the arm too since it’s a part of you.”

“I never thought…” He couldn’t get to finish that thought.

“Your arm would be a turn-on? Well, it is. You should get used to that.”

“That’s gonna take a while,” Bucky admitted, then he looked back at the screen. “You gotta share more to see more, Bunny.”

“You are a fast learner, Sergeant. I like that.”

“I told you, you can always count on that.”

Bunny took her shirt off, instead of answering him. Bucky’s expression changed pretty quickly when he noticed she had no bra on. God, he needed to touch her, feel her and make her feel good, but he has no idea if that was even possible. His eyes focused on her nipples. How could they look this delicious over a video call? He wanted to latch on them, suck until she was a crying mess under him.

“You okay, Sarge?”

“God, Bunny, if you call me Sarge or Sergeant one more time, I will come inside my pants.”

“Noted,” she said with a teasing voice. “We wouldn’t want that, would we? I wanna see you first. Then we can make that happen.”

“I wanna see you, too. Coming hard while I tell you dirty things that turn you on.”

“Wow, the old man has a dirty mouth. Who would’ve thought?”

“Are you teasing me?” He asked with a small smile on his lips.

“I am challenging you.” Bucky gave her a suspicious look.

“To do what?”

“To talk dirty for real, James. You are ‘all talk and no action’ sometimes.”

“Oh, is that what we are doing now?” He already sounded challenged by her words. “I should’ve known you wouldn’t like a gentleman.”

“I do like a gentleman, outside the bed. In the bed, they are boring.”

“Okay, okay.” He nodded, trying to decide what to do next. “Good to know. Now, take your clothes off. I wanna see that body.”

“Is that an order, Sarge?”

“Yes, it is, Bunny.”

“And what if I don’t follow it?” Her voice was so fucking cute, Bucky did not know how she managed to be like this.

“Then you will be punished accordingly.” He didn’t even think before answering.

“Over the phone?”

“No. I will punish you in person. I will find wherever you live and I will punish you for not following a clear order.” The words spilled out of his mouth without much thought. The second he was done, he realized what he said. God, if she had got scared, she would have had every right to do so.

“That sounds more like a promise.” Her answer was unexpected and didn’t seem wary. Was she not scared of him? At all?

“It can be, but you wouldn’t wanna get punished.”

“Hmm…” She thought for a second. “Tell me, what do you want? A good girl or a bad one?”

“I want you, Bunny. Whichever you are.” His answer must be unexpected because Bunny’s expression changed for a second. She looked emotional and vulnerable, but she quickly pulled herself together.

“I am a little bit of both.”

“Then both it is.”

Bunny quickly took her remaining clothes off instead of responding, giving him a look. “Your turn.”

Bucky did the same.

“Now what do you want me to do?” She asked eagerly.

“Touch yourself for me.” She could feel how aroused he was just by hearing his voice. The full view of his erection was helping, too.

“Touch yourself first.” She sounded so demanding and Bucky couldn’t find the strength to refuse. His flesh hand wrapped around his already painful erection. “With the metal one, Sarge.”

Bucky quickly looked back at her, with confusion written all over his face.

“I promise, I am not a groupie or anything. I just think it would look so hot.”

“A groupie?”

“Google it if you don’t know what it means. I am not gonna embarrass myself by explaining.” Bucky laughed a little.

“I know what it means, Bunny. I just wasn’t sure why I would think you're a groupie.”

“Oh…” She looked at the camera for a second. “You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?” He was completely lost.

“That you have fans.”

The look he had was unforgettable: completely lost.

“I have fans?” He repeated mindlessly.

“Nobody told you that, huh?”

“Nope. I have fans?”

“You do.” Bunny giggled. He was really an adorable old man. “People who defend you online. I will explain more later, okay?”

“Okay.” He still sounded confused, but he let it go. The sight in front of him was more interesting than a group of people defending him.

“Metal hand, around your cock.” She reminded him.

“Right.” She watched him wrap his vibranium fingers around his erection. It was truly a sight.

“Now, your turn.”

“What do you want me to do?” She quickly asked.

“Do you have a dildo around?”

Bunny was silent for a second. “Yes?” Her tone was hesitant.

“Do you have a favorite?”

She tried not to smile. “Of course.”

“Take that one.” He sounded so confident. It was a huge turn-on.

“Wait a second.” She left the frame for a while, and Bucky could hear her walking around, looking through her stuff. Finally, she came back with it.

“You like it big,” Bucky stated after seeing the dildo. It was probably as big as his own dick. No wonder she was so into the pictures he sent.

“Is that a problem?” Her question was genuine. “I can get a smaller one.”

“Why would I want that?” He had no idea. “I want you to enjoy this. That’s why I asked for your favorite.”

Bunny’s concern vanished quickly.

“Now what, Sarge?”

“Now we both start to play with ourselves.”

“Sounds good.” Bucky watched her brushing her fingers against her clit while letting out delicious, low moans. It was nothing too pornographic, and he could feel more blood rushing to his lower side. He started to work on himself pretty slowly with his vibranium hand since it was new to him. He never used his metal fingers before so he was trying to be careful.

“Use lube.”

“Huh?” Bucky looked like a fish out of water.

“Use lube, it will make it better.” Her fingers were still working on her clit and lips as she spoke. “Or whatever you have. A cream works too, I guess.”

“I have lube, doll. How do you think my dick survived you for this long?”

She giggled again, and all Bucky wanted to do was kiss her hard. Her lips, her nipples, her wet pussy. Anything… he just needed to taste her.

“You don’t even need lube, do you?” he asked, trying to distract himself.

“Nope.” She moved her finger away from her pussy, just to show him how wet she is, and the response she got was a loud moan.

“Fuck.” He took a deep breath. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” It was such a raw reaction, and Bunny loved every second of it. “All for me?”

“All for you, Sarge.”

His fingers started to work faster, and thanks to the lube, it was much better than he expected. He was surprised at how the metal felt against his cock. Definitely didn’t feel like flesh, but it was good. Really good since he could actually move his metal hand faster.

“Can I put this in me?” She asked Bucky for permission to finally use the dildo, and god, he had to stop for a second, not to come instantly.

“Yes. Yes, you can.” He breathed out, struggling to form sentences at this point, but he managed it.

She pushed the dildo inside her effortlessly and let out a loud moan as she moved it in further. Bucky took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. There is no way you are not gonna come before her. He was talking to himself. Just calm down.

"Ride that dildo, Bunny. Imagine it's me."

“You want this to be over soon, huh?” Her teasing tone helped him relax. He liked that he wasn’t alone in this.

“You gotta meet me in the middle, Bunny. Otherwise, it’s gonna be embarrassing.”

She didn’t tease or challenge him this time. She just listened to his order and started to ride the dildo as she would ride him. Her movements, the noises she made… She was making things even harder. He felt like he lost control of his fingers. He wanted to slow down, try to come with her, but his metal hand wasn’t listening to him.

“F-fuck.” He breathed out. “I’m- I’m gonna come.” He sounded so pained like he was disappointing her.

“I’m gonna come, too.” Her response was quick. “Sstop holding yourself back.” She was panting, involuntarily showing him how close she actually was.

“Shit. Pinch your nipple for me if you like that.” His metal hand was moving fast on his cock, it was oozing with precum already.

“I do.” She was out of breath already. “I do.” Pinching her nipple was enough to push her over the edge. “Oh, fuck…” When the first wave of her orgasm hit her, he could see how strong it was. “Fuck, Bucky…” The moment she said his name, he knew he was gone. There was no way he could hold back. “This feels so good. So fucking good.”

“God, Bunny.” He let out a loud moan as his come hit the laptop screen. He gasped as he continued to move his hand until he felt painfully overstimulated.

He had no idea how long the silence between them lasted.

“James?” He heard her silky voice before opening his eyes back up.

“I’m here, Bunny.” She smiled in response. She could see he was still there, but she wasn’t gonna say that.

“That was amazing.” Bunny looked so blissed out.

“Tell me about it.” He shook his head like he couldn’t believe how strong that orgasm was.

He heard Bunny taking another deep breath while looking back at him.

“Look, I know this is not the time…” Bunny sounded more serious than before. The tone got his attention back to her.

“Tell me.” He suddenly sounded so demanding.

“The timing is horrible.”

“I don’t care.” He smiled, trying to assure her.

“I won’t be around for a while.” His face dropped when he heard her words. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you tonight. I won’t be online or posting new content.”

"Is something wrong?" He sounded so worried, so panicked. As crazy as it might have been, he didn't want to lose her, especially after this.

“No, no, no.” She quickly assured him. “It's something I have to do. I was working on something for a long time and now it might come to an end. Which is a good thing since that's what I was trying to achieve. I just need to deal with it, then I will be back and I'll explain everything, okay?” Bucky nodded. “Just know that I'll be busy, but I'll come back, okay? No need to worry about me.”

“I will always worry about you.” That was the truth. Even if he knew she was fine, not hearing from her would worry him. “Thank you for telling me.”

***

The next morning, Bucky woke up feeling much better than he ever felt since he was a free man. Last night, things exceeded his expectations. He noticed how much he was overthinking everything, how he never thought she'd be so okay with who he was. He never thought she would be still attracted to him after seeing him. He wasn’t delusional enough to think he had an ugly face. The problem was the things that face was associated with and, yes, he was still convinced she was way out of his league. But she didn’t seem to care, and that was all that mattered to him.

He quickly got ready. His morning routine was simple, so he could just leave in half an hour: a quick shower, a simple breakfast, and putting on appropriate clothes were enough. After he was done with the essentials, he found a bit of time to send Bunny a good morning message. She might not be able to respond, since she told him she was gonna be busy these days, but he still felt like doing it. And after last night, he had no intention to refrain from following his wishes. Not anymore.

But when he opened the app, he was simply shocked, horrified even… Because Bunny was gone. Completely gone. Her account was deactivated, and only their old messages were still there.

The panic scattered throughout his body like rapid fire, spreading from his chest and burning everything on its path. He had no idea what to do. He didn't have her number or any social media accounts if she had any. He didn’t even know where she lived. Yes, sure, Bunny told him she was going to be away for a while and wouldn't be able to share anything, but deleting her whole account? That was completely unexpected and alarming. He rubbed his face with both of his hands, trying to figure out a way to make sure she was fine.

Slowly, the overthinking returned and took complete control of him. What if she just played it cool yesterday but wanted to vanish after learning who he actually was? The Winter Soldier was a terrifying figure, he would have not blamed her if that had been the case, yet he would have felt betrayed and disappointed. He tried to think of a moment or a small detail that showed she was just trying to act her way out of a dangerous situation, but nothing came to his mind. She was surprised, of course, but after that initial shock, she was back to her normal self. She even wanted to see him more intimately. Was it because she didn’t feel safe anymore? Could she possibly act so flawlessly and show no fear while trying to get away? A part of him didn't believe that couldn’t be true. She was one of the most authentic people he met, even though they did not actually meet in person. That was why he was pulled towards her this much. Another part of him thought this is basically her job. She had to look convincing enough, but looking and acting were completely two different things, and Bucky wasn’t sure of anything anymore. He was so focused on trying to find a logical explanation for everything that he almost didn't hear his phone ring.

When Bucky grabbed back his phone, he saw the name Sam Wilson on the screen. He didn’t feel like answering, but Sam was stubborn as usual. He called him back again in a second, and Bucky had no choice but to answer at the end.

“Hey, Buck. You ready buddy? I’m on my way and I can give you a lift.”

Bucky made an unintelligible sound, not knowing how to answer. He already forgot about the meeting and the time.

“Please, tell me you are ready. The meeting is in half an hour.”

“I am.” He finally managed to say something back. His own voice sounded robotic and the words were forced, but he had to go through this day to find a way to reach Bunny. Maybe he could ask for Fury’s help to locate her. It would take a lot of convincing, but he would do it for her. To make sure she was safe and sound. To do that, he had to go to this briefing.

“Okay, I’ll be there in 5.”

***

As Bucky and Sam finally arrived at the SHIELD headquarters, Bucky muttered a simple thank you. They didn't talk much during the ride, which wasn’t unusual, yet Sam suspected something was wrong. Bucky was usually calm and collected. He wouldn't engage in small talk or chat about random topics, but this time he seemed nervous. Sam wanted to ask what was wrong, but after all the time they spent together, he knew it was better to just wait for a sign. That was always more effective. Bucky would recoil into his shell like a freaking turtle if you made a move too soon, and that was the last thing they needed.

As for Bucky, he couldn't stop wondering about all the possibilities in the world and what he should do next. He would have to talk to Fury privately, ask for help, and get out of this mission. After that, he would go on whatever mission they decided to throw his way. No problem. None at all. Just let me be sure she is fine.

While still thinking about the plan in his mind, Bucky found an empty spot in the meeting room and sank down. He was checking his phone regularly to see if there was anything from Bunny or if maybe her profile would be back up, but no. There was nothing at all, and his worry was growing every second. He had no idea how he was supposed to go through this meeting at all.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to end one of the biggest undercover operations in the history of SHIELD.” Fury’s voice got the attention of everyone in the room. “We are going to hit HYDRA where it hurts the most. Innocents will be saved by cutting HYDRA’s biggest financial income. It doesn't get any better than this.” Fury talking about HYDRA got Bucky out of his own head for a second. “This operation has been going on for quite some time and there’s no one better than Agent Elvisa to explain the details before we get to action.” Fury turned his eyes to the side, moving his hand up to introduce the mysterious agent. What Bucky didn't expect was to see Bunny, in flesh and blood, right in front of him. She was wearing a generic SHIELD uniform, her hair neatly tied up in a ponytail, looking composed.

“Thank you, Director Fury.” Hearing her silky voice made Bucky realize he wasn’t dreaming. His eyes widened when he realized he was really standing there, looking perfect in that ugly outfit. He could feel a hole forming in his stomach while Agent Elvisa started to explain the details. She was actively trying to avoid meeting his eyes while talking, showing some statistics and the essential, but Bucky couldn’t hear anything. His ears were ringing.

Since Bunny kept avoiding the eye contact with him, Bucky’s glance turned over to Natasha. She was the one who suggested her, after all. Did she know about this? The woman who he thought was a complete stranger was actually a SHIELD agent. There was no way Natasha did not know this. Was this all an elaborate prank? Maybe orchestrated by Natasha. That would make perfect sense.

Bucky understood that HYDRA was making a lot of money from their human trafficking network, and SHIELD was about to destroy it. He would have loved to focus more on the details since this would have been a personal case for him in another context. He was one of their victims after all. Yet his palms were sweating as he thought about confronting her. Even when he tried hard to understand, his brain didn’t compute any of the information she was giving. It was too loud, too uncomfortable. He felt thirsty and nauseous at the same time.

After the meeting was over, Bucky jolted out of his seat to catch her. He needed a second to talk to her, privately, to understand what the fuck was going on. He thought he deserved that much explanation before going on another mission after everything that happened between them.

She was talking to someone, but Bucky didn’t pay attention to their conversation. He stopped right next to her, invading all of her personal space without considering how it might look from the outside.

“We need to talk.” His voice was so harsh, it made her flinch. She looked up and met his eyes for the first time, and he could clearly see she was uncomfortable.

“She was…” The man she was talking to tried to interject, but Bucky was having none of it.

“I’m talking to Agent Elvisa.” God, the way he said her name was stone-cold. It sounded like he wanted to spit her name out. He subtly grabbed her arm. “We need to talk. Right now.”

***

Bucky’s hand didn’t leave her arm until they were tucked inside the closest empty office. He was trying to control himself, but it was so hard when a million questions were running through his head. Yet, he managed to choose one to ask.

“Why?” His eyes were like two daggers.

“Why what?” She managed to say back, a little terrified.

“Why did you do this to me?” The way Bucky asked the question broke her heart. She could hear the disappointment, the pain and betrayal in his voice. “I just need to know why you did this to me.”

“What are you talking about? What did I do to you?” She looked completely clueless, and it hurt Bucky even more. “Look I know…” She tried to explain, but he didn’t let her.

“Was this a joke? Did Natasha put you up to this?” He talked so fast and harshly. “Or was this a bet between co-workers?” She was silent. Completely silent. Trying to understand what he was talking about.

“You think I played with you?” She asked the question like she couldn’t believe him.

“Didn’t you, Agent Elvisa?” Again, her code name sounded so harsh on his lips. She wasn’t Bunny anymore.

“Playing with you was never my intention.”

“But you did it anyway.” God, he sounded so broken, on the verge of a breakdown.

“I didn’t even know I was talking to you until last night, Bucky.” She was getting emotional, but Bucky wasn’t in the state to notice it. “I could never…”

“You could never what? Make a fool of me? Break my heart? What did you think would happen when you decided to show up and give a presentation in that freaking room?” He raised his hand to point toward the general direction of the meeting room.

“I didn’t know you would be here!” She finally snapped and started to yell back. “I didn’t know I was talking to you until last night! Did you even listen to me back there?”

Bucky looked all lost, trying to understand why that would matter right now.

“I was on an undercover mission all this time. It had nothing to do with you! You think I made a fake account and started creating content just to mess with you? Why would I do that?”

“I… I don’t know.” He didn’t know anything. All he came up with was a list of possibilities.

“I have been doing this for months! I’m trying to catch those bastards, trying to look convincing enough and make them pay for what they did!” She stopped for a second, trying to collect herself. She didn’t want to cry. Not right then. “You think you are so important that I would create a whole ass account instead of just coming and asking you out?”

Her question silenced him for a second, making him wonder what the last sentence meant.

“What did you just say?”

Right at that moment, someone knocked on the door and stuck their head inside.

“Sergeant Barnes, we have to leave in 10 minutes.”

He didn’t even look their way. “I’m in the middle of something!” It was so harsh yet attractive.

“I know, but Director Fury…”

“Just tell him I need 5 more minutes.” The determination in his tone shook the agent and he left without saying anything in return. As soon as Bucky heard the door close, he repeated his question.

“What did you just say?”

“I don’t know what kind of sick game is going on, but I’m assuming you know I have a crush on you. Maybe Nat told you. I.. don’t know, but I would never do something like this. Not to you, not to anyone. I’d just ask you out and get rejected with pride.”

“You had a crush on me?” He couldn’t believe what she was saying.

“You… didn’t know?”

“No.” They both looked so confused.

“I assumed that you did.” She awkwardly looked around.

“Nope.”

The door was opened without a knock this time and both of them turned their heads simultaneously.

“Buck-” Sam couldn’t even finish his sentence. The double death glare startled him.

“For god's sake! I just need 5 minutes of privacy before I go there and fight. Is that too much to ask?”

“Okay, man, calm down. I’ll tell Fury.” He quickly looked at Bunny and then at Bucky before closing the door behind him. Both Bucky and Bunny turned their eyes to each other.

“Okay, look… I didn’t play with you.” She started to explain. “No one put me up on a mission to mess with you. I don’t know if this is a twisted game of fate or something else, but I didn’t know you would be involved in this operation, okay?”

“It’s Romanoff’s doing.” He finally put two plus two together, and she nodded slowly. It made sense to her, too. Then they heard Fury talking outside, and they knew that the time was running out.

“We don’t have time for this.” She stated while running her hand through her hair. “Just know that I was going to explain everything after the operation. That’s why I said what I said yesterday.”

Before he could answer her, the door opened once again. No knocking, no hesitation. Bucky was about to yell at them not to interrupt once again, but Fury was standing on the door sill, looking uneasy.

“Barnes, we have no time for…” His eyes darted between both of them. “...whatever this is. We have to leave before it’s too late.”

“Fine.” He finally responded after a short while. “I’m coming, but this conversation is not over, Agent Elvisa.”

“I’ll be waiting, Sergeant Barnes.”

Next Chapter >>>

***

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wlw-imagines · 5 months

Text

A Hunter By Trade - Ruby Lucas/Reader (Once Upon a Time)

prompt: "Could I request a Ruby(from OUAT) x reader one shot where R is a werewolf hunter and doesn't know Ruby is a werewolf and when R finds out Ruby is terrified that she'll leave her or kill her but instead the reader quits being a hunter and becomes a cop with Emma and David? Some fluff in the end?" - anon

a/n: these are from my old tumblr thefandomwritings from back in 2018 ! re-vamped and re-purposed!! hope u enjoy and forgive the 2018 me style writing

Having just finished your shift in the forest, hunting under Mr Gold's insistence, you were happy to finally be off work for another month and back with your girlfriend at Granny's Diner. Ruby's long hours of working there often meant you're schedules of night shifts and hers of day shifts would clash but for the next month you were free to spend time with her,

"Morning Y/N." Emma gave you a small wave as you walked into the Diner like you did every morning after work.

You sent Emma and Henry a tired smile, "Morning you two. Hot chocolate and waffles before school, Henry?" You asked the young boy who smiled cheekily and nodded, stuffing a forkful of his breakfast into his mouth.

You were going to stop for a chat before you realised you still had your hunting weapons on you and you should probably get rid of them. Your knife still strapped to your thigh and your silver gun still in its holster at your hip. Emma seemed to notice at the same time and was about to speak but was fortunately cut off by your girlfriend.

"Y/N! Good morning, how was work?" Ruby asked, wrapping her arms around you in a warm hug.

In an attempt to make your working life sound normal you simply shrugged and mumbled, "Quiet", which wasn't too far from the truth. You had never actually told Ruby exactly what your job entailed. All she really knew was that you had to work night shifts. However, she seemed content enough with your answer and pressed a light kiss to your lips.

Smiling, you pulled her close to you. You missed her when you were out working, you enjoyed the warmth and comfort just being in her arms caused you. Then that little moment was ruined by Emma inevitably speaking up.

"Need a gun for work, Y/N?" You turned to see her raising an eyebrow, looking at you intensely over her own steaming drink.

You rolled your eyes, "It's perfectly legal Swan." Justifying your actions as you sensed her legal conscience was starting to make an appearance.

Ruby's grip on you slowly loosened and you noticed her frown slightly, "You have a gun? How didn't I know you have a gun?"

"It's nothing Ruby. It was my mother's before she died," You smiled softly but Ruby still seemed unconvinced, "Mr Gold kindly made sure I got it a couple of weeks ago. Just before the spell broke."

Ruby shifted slightly, looking more uneasy by the minute, "But what's it for? Why do you even need it?" She protested.

"Originally it was just in memory of my mother but then Gold needed a favour so I thought I'd help him out and so more recently I've just been using it to keep the town safe, I guess. That's all he asked me to do. It's kind of in my blood to do it." You smiled proudly, now knowing that your mother and your mother's mother had both been Hunter's and now, in your own little way, you were honouring that.

"Keeping the town safe, isn't that my job?" Emma now joined in the inquisition, making your head spin slightly, "And you’re doing work for Gold?"

"Just as a favour, I patrol the woods at night, but I-" You stopped and took a deep breath, deciding that if they could just see how harmless your gun truly was then they'd give you a break. "I've never shot a person with it." You said, meekly as you carefully placed the gun down on the table.

"A silver gun?" You heard Ruby ask in an unusually quiet voice.

You were about to respond when Henry's cutlery clattered onto his plate, "You hunt werewolves? You're a Hunter? How didn't I see this before?" He asked incredulously, putting two and two together. "But-" He looked at Ruby but before he could continue you interrupted him in order to defend yourself.

"Woah, kid, no one said anything about werewolves." You shook your head, whilst having found out recently that that was in your blood, there were things that you couldn't bring yourself to do. Killing another human, in any form, was one of them. "I’d never- Look, Gold hired me to make sure that the wolves- that any animals don't create havoc or ruin his land o-or affect farmland." You clicked your gun back into its holster as it clearly wasn't being any use in calming anyone down. In fact, you were just getting more and more flustered as more questions were fired at you.

"Sure, that's what he told you." Henry got increasingly agitated, "You know you shouldn't kill anything. Don't you know who Ruby-" Emma quickly stood up and spoke over Henry.

"Okay, okay, enough chit-chat. Henry, let's get you to school." She gave him a look and left enough money to cover the food and drink on the table.

"But-"

"Henry, now." She clicked her fingers and Henry sighed in defeat before picking his bag up. He gave Ruby an apologetic look and just looked at you, contemplating what to say as he walked past. Whatever it was got interrupted by his mother as she practically pulled him out of the now empty Diner, "Faster, Henry."

You watched them leave in confusion before turning to Ruby, "Babe, I-"

"I don't want to talk right now." She turned away from you, clearing Emma and Henry's table. You frowned and reached out to your girlfriend's side, pulling her gently to you. She swatted you away and you swore she almost let out a small growl, "Y/N, just leave me alone!"

You shook your head, "I don't understand, I practically do the same job as Emma but just with animals rather than people. I found something I'm actually good at Ruby! Why can't you be happy for me, I-"

"Was your Mother a werewolf hunter? Back in the Enchanted Forest. Was she a Hunter?" She interrupted you, her voice increasing in volume before she slammed the plates down behind the counter. "Did she hunt animals?"

You hesitated before finally nodding, "Yes." You admitted and Ruby scoffed.

"So it's 'in your blood' to kill animals, is it? To kill-"

"No! I mean... yeah. But-"

"Then why do you need a gun, a silver gun? With silver bullets? Used to kill werewolves. Why do you need weapons if you don't kill?"

"Okay, well, on the odd occasion, I've had to-"

"Great!" She let out a loud sarcastic laugh and shook her head.

"But only when it's really necessary. And I told you I don't kill people! Okay? Whatever form they're in, I will not kill a person, okay? I'm not my mother, Ruby-"

She shook her head and clenched her teeth, "It turns out there is still a lot I don't know about you Y/N." She whispered, looking you dead in the eye as she spoke.

"No, that's not fair. There are things about you that I don't know too. There are still things about everyone I thought I knew that I don't know because of this stupid curse but we're working it out!" You reasoned, willing yourself not to think the worse about this situation. There was a horrible silence as you waited for her to say something. Anything. And when she finally did, it wasn't what you had expected at all.

"I don't think I feel safe around you, Y/N." She backed away from you ever so slightly and refused to look you in the eye. For the first time you've known Ruby, she genuinely looked frightened. Of you.

Your stomach dropped at her confession and you shut your eyes for a few moments and took a second to breath. "If this is about the gun then I only have it to protect you, Ruby. It's to protect everyone. I love you. I would never, ever do anything to hurt you. I just want to protect you."

"From what?"

You clenched your fists and slammed a hand on the counter, tired from repeating the same thing. If Ruby had been wanting your answer to change each time to something she would rather hear then she was out of luck, "From rabid animals." You cried out, getting angry at such a stupid fight over such a tiny thing.

"What? Animals like me, you mean?" She asked, contrasting your loud anger with a quiet fear. Whilst her eyes looked terrified she attempted to make herself look brave and confrontational by jutting her chin up slightly and staring you down but you knew her too well.

The anger inside of you quickly dissipated and you slowly approached her, treating her like one would a spooked horse or a trapped rabbit. "What do you mean by that?"

"Y-You said that there were things you don't know about me and that's true." You watched as she began to crumble, her eyes starting to become tearful. "I'm a werewolf. Your kind hunt me and my kind." She finally croaked out.

You both stood and stared at each other over the counter for a few minutes, not quite knowing what to do. There was a part of you that couldn't believe you didn't know, that she hadn't told you. A whole other part started to recognise the little signs that you had slowly picked up on but stubbornly ignored.

The tiny bell at the top of the door to Granny's rung, knocking you out of your thoughts and back into reality. Now that the diner was no longer empty you couldn't stay there any longer. You need an explanation but it couldn't be done there and besides, there was something more important you had to do first, "I have to go." You finally spoke up, not quite daring to look into Ruby's tear soaked eyes and instead keeping your head down and walking out the door.

Driving around for hours to clear your head eventually led you to the Sheriff's department, knowing Emma would be there by now. You ran in, throwing your gun on the table and crossing your arms as you stared down at the blonde woman. "How long did you know who my girlfriend was?"

Emma sighed and grimaced slightly, "She told you?"

"Mhmm." You flopped down in the chair opposite Emma and started chewing your lip. There was a long pause between the two of you, seeing as you were completely absorbed with your own thoughts.

Emma took a deep breath, eventually choosing to cut off the silence, "What are you going to do?" You shook your head slightly.

"I was born to be a Hunter, Emma." You noticed her raise an eyebrow slightly and so you hastened to add, "But I love Ruby. So much." You'd never do anything to hurt her, that much you knew.

"You're going to return the gun to Gold?"

"No." You shrugged, "I'll lock it up someone safe, I suppose. So no one can make use of it."

Emma put her hand on your shoulder and smiled fondly, "You made the right decision."

You sat in silence for a bit, Emma leafing through some paperwork as you tried to get your brain to absorb everything that had happened in the last few hours, "I won't miss the long nights, that's for sure." You eventually said, only just realising you were technically now out of a job. "Anyway, I should go. Thanks Em, for helping me figure out what's right."

Just before you made your way out of the door, Emma stopped you in your tracks by shouting after you, "Hey, Y/N, if you need a job we might just have an opening here for you. Can't guarantee you'll never work a night shift again, but you can keep on protecting Ruby and the town. You can just do it a bit more legally." You slowly turned back to your friend and smiled, shooting her a quick nod.

"You're on, Swan."

----------------------

It was gone noon once you were finished at the police station and you knew Ruby would have finished her shift by now so you swung by your shared apartment, hoping that she would be there.

You were torn between knocking and just walking straight in but ultimately chose the latter option, scared that if you were to knock then she wouldn't answer to you.

"Ruby?"

"I don't want to talk to you." A voice drifted from your left. You hesitantly licked your lips and followed her voice.

"Ruby-" You turned the corner to see her curled up on the sofa beneath a heavy red blanket.

She shook her head and you knew well enough to stop talking. "I just... I cannot believe you'd do this! That you would do something so stupid and so--"

"I quit." You shrugged and took a step closer to your girlfriend.

"What?" She asked, head turning to the side slightly. You clenched your jaw at the pain you had caused within her.

You paused, formulating what you wanted to say before plunging into it. "I'm not a hunter anymore. I quit. I want nothing but to keep you safe and if you don't feel that way with me then I'll change."

Ruby stood up and shook her head, "I don't understand."

"I'd do anything for you. I love you." You finally wrapped your arms around Ruby's waist and pulled her into you, hovering your lips close to hers, "I'm sorry."

The smile on her face grew as she gazed into your eyes and her hands hovered over your hips. She begun to place a trail of kisses from your jaw down your neck. Ready to take it further, you pushed her slightly towards the sofa and tugged slightly at her red shorts. However, before you had the chance, Ruby pulled away and took a deep breath.

"What?" You asked, fearing you had done something wrong.

"What are you going to do now?" She asked, and you could still sense a dash of emotion reappearing from earlier. You pushed to do anything to clear her doubt about you.

You hooked your fingers in the belt loop holes of her shorts and winked, "What do you think about me in uniform?"

Ruby bit her lip and smirked, pushing you down on the sofa, "I think I could get used to the idea."

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cialovesklopp · 5 months

Text

joyeux anniversaire ➺ k.mbappe

summary – it’s kylian’s birthday and amara had something special planned for him

pairing – amara imani (oc) x kylian mbappé

warnings – none

word count - /

author's note - in honor of kyky’s birthday, i just had to post something for our favorite french golden boy. i had actually planned to make a longer chapter but tumblr and wifi screwed me over and deleted my 6k draft. so i had to quickly come up with a smau. but i have another bonus for amara and kylian planned and a big surprise coming 🫶🏾

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani

liked by k.mbappe, graceywood and 16.284.534 others

amara.imani joyeux anniversaire mon amour. i thank god everyday for bringing us together. you are the most important person in my life and make my day shine brighter everyday just by being you. words cannot describe how grateful i am for u. i am so proud of everything you have already achieved. and i know there’s more to come

view all 126.355 comments

username this just called me single in 100 different ways

username i feel your pain

username so surreal that he’s literally already so old

username fr, we watched him grow up and evolve as player

k.mbappe je t’aime tellement, tu ne sais pas à quelle point

k.mbappe 🫶🏾

username imagine if they had gone public after the world cup

username would have won couple of the year instantly

username why did this just make me cry

username mom and dad 😍

k.mbappe couldn’t you at least post two good pictures of me?

amara.imani and have more girls thirst over my man? never

amara.imani be happy i included one. i could have chosen much more embarrassing ones

o.dembele7 amara drop them please

antogriezmann why be so selfish when you can share them with the world

username so funny when you remember that amara didn’t even write half of that for evan

username girl knows her priorities

liyah_clark happy birthday amara imani’s boyfriend

k.mbappe thank you very much amara imani’s best friend

amara.imani 🙄

username 😂 i wanna know how she supports them

graceywood she doesn’t. them together is even worse than liyah and amara together

𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆��𝐀𝐌

@amara.imani posted in her story 3h ago

k.mbappe

liked by k.mbappe, graceywood and 16.284.534 others

k.mbappe merci à tous vos nombreux messages et félicitations pour aujourd’hui. et merci mi amor @amara.imani pour avoir organisé cette fête.

view all 35.982 comments

psg ❤️💙

ethanmbappe faut dire à amara qu'elle doit aussi organiser mon anniversaire pour moi

k.mbappe la seule chose qu’elle fera pour toi c’est une carte

username still waiting for u to join madrid

username 25 years and still no ballon d’or

amara.imani still more than you

username his girl hit back

equipedefrance joyeux anniversaire

kimpembe3 ta meuf a détruit tout avec la fête la hier

username happy birthday kylian

username i swear time flies so quick

username i need someone to look at me the way she does at him

liyah_clark how many times did that girl change her dress yesterday?

k.mbappe we went out before the party

username post the other pictures of the party

username fr, i just know it was wild

username i need more footage from kylian and achraf’s drunk romantic duett

username i wanna see videos of amara’s private performance

o.dembele7 same time, next year

amara.imani you’re just looking for ways to get drunk again

liyah_clark and he’s damn right

k.mbappe this is still MY birthday guys

username he called her mi amor 🥹

username i refuse to believe they have just been dating for a year

username the potential they could have had two years ago

achrafhakimi tell amara thank you for giving me all this blackmail material. that party was lit

jkeey4 hope no one got food poisoning from the cake

amara.imani you were literally the one who ate the most pieces

amara.imani i’m not that bad at baking

#kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe x reader #kylian mbappe fluff #kylian mbappe fanfic #mon amour #amara imani #kylian mbappe imagine #kylian mbappe x you #kylian mbappé x reader #kylian mbappe series #kylian mbappe fanfiction #kylian mbappe x black! oc #kylian mbappe x black! reader #kylian mbappe one shot #kylian mbappe x amara imani #kylian mbappé #kylian mbappé x singer! oc #kylian mbappé x black! oc

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raes-writing-space · 10 months

Text

TWST Relationship Headcanons (Floyd, Ruggie, Kalim)

A/N: Minors/Ageless Blogs Do Not Interact, not explicit, like it’s not full on smut, but it does have sexual themes. Reader isn’t said to be “Yuu” however, it may mention events in the story. Some of these are kind of written as a “funny haha” but it does have some seriousness behind it.

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of being touch-starved, violence, sexual themes, mentions of yandere vibes in Floyd’s. Possible spelling errors, tumblr won't save my changes no matter how many times I fix them.

Floyd:

I hope you didn’t want personal space. It’s the equivalent to that tiktok sound, “This is Bob, Bob loves his personal space. This is Larry, Larry also love’s Bob’s personal space.”

But honestly a lot of it is because he’s touch starved, and the physical contact he DOES usually have isn’t positive in any way, it’s violent, always fights.

The first time you give him a regular hug for the first time, doesn’t even have to be a full hug, it could be a side hug, he’s like “Wtf was that??? Wait, hold on, I want more of that.”

He always has to be touching you in some way, arm over the shoulder or around the waist, draping his whole body on you, holding hands, intertwining pinkies, hands in your pockets, SOMETHING.

While he does have mood swings, hardly ever do you really have to deal with it, because you always make his days better. Unless you did something to really set him off, he’s always in a good mood with you.

However, it can’t be said towards other people. So, while he might make YOU food that’s really good, he will make everyone else basically eat garbage. And while he might not snap at YOU, he might snap at someone else.

He finds you really interesting, even if you feel like your life is boring, he does not find it boring at all. He wants to figure you out, even if it’s doing “nothing” he still wants to understand why you choose to do said “nothing”, even if it’s something that would typically bore him.

He is BLUNT AF and LOUD AF, so if you good luck trying to keep him from spilling all your relationship info, he is so loud in his love for you, and he does not care if it makes other people uncomfortable to hear about how much he loves your body, mind, personality, etc. If you’re wearing his favorite pair of jeans he’s going to tell you how much he likes your ass in those jeans, and again, he does not care where he’s at or who’s around him.

Even if you’re the more modest or shy type, and try and tell him to “keep it down” he might, MIGHT, respect your wishes, however, don’t be surprised if he just suddenly grabs you and starts whispering in your ear all the shit he wants to say out loud. At least only you can hear it...

Floyd will use his strength and height to his advantage, even if you’re the same height as him or taller, he is really strong, doesn’t matter your weight baby, he will have no issues picking you up like a damn rag doll and throwing you over his shoulder.

He especially does this if he feels as if you’re not spending enough time with him. Floyd is a very needy eel, and he doesn’t like how much time you’re spending studying or hanging with friends, or a hobby, or ANYTHING, and not spending time with him :(( No, he does not care that you have a test coming up!! (Again with point one)

Floyd can get violent if it means protecting you in some way. if you get even so much as a dirty look from someone, he’s already giving the worst “warning sign” look to them EVER. Sevens forbid someone actually makes a threat towards you, because Floyd will make sure that they never so much as look at you, or in worst cases, make sure they never breathe the same air as you ever again.

Things might become sexual with him a bit fast, mostly because he’s touch starved and he’s just kind of overwhelmed with how much he feels for you, that he just sorta... needs to let it out in some way. And there’s nothing better than giving you all the pleasure you could ever want, and then some, be prepared to get overstimulated, it’s not even intentional sometimes, he just... won’t stop...

Floyd CAN make love to you, but even him making love to you can come off as a little rougher some times, he doesn’t mean too, he makes up for it in a lot of kisses, sweet touches, trying to make you laugh, and praise. He can also fuck the shit outta you though if that’s what you want.

On a more intimate note, if you kiss his scars, he’s not going to fully understand what it is you’re exactly doing at first, but once it does finally click that “Oh.” moment he might get overwhelmed and tear up a bit. He doesn’t understand why he’s tearing up, it shouldn’t matter to him that much, and yet, something within him is telling him that it does. Because despite his nature you treat him as if he’s gentle, and soft, and should be cared for and deserves to be cared for in a soft and gentle way.

Don’t take it the wrong way if he needs a minute to recover after that, because being vulnerable was never a thing he was taught to do, and it’s new to him... But he wants to be vulnerable with you, he really does, he just doesn’t know how to show it properly.

While he is a little unhinged, he is loyal, fiercely so, (almost borderline yandere, but it’s not intentional... it’s just how he is.) he has a lot of emotions, most that he can’t always control, but he does support you with everything, and loves you more than he can ever actually say it.

Ruggie:

Ruggie is the definition of “You fell first, he fell harder”, he’s got a charismatic charm to him that everyone to some extent falls for, however, he himself is rather guarded and doesn’t trust easily.

So with you? The fact that he allowed himself to feel comfortable around you and let his guard down? And trust you wholeheartedly? It took him a little while to figure out his feelings and again, allow himself to fall for you, that it was going to be okay, and once he did fall for you, he fell hard.

Of course, he’s still a mischievous little shithead, stealing shit from your pockets just to give it back to you in order to grab your attention and talk to him, or teases you relentlessly for anything you do, it’s just a love language of his. Take it in stride, he just wants to see you smile in some way, even if it’s a sarcastic one.

His biggest love languages are quality time and acts of service, he has a harder time finding the words to comfort or reassure you in the way that you need, he doesn’t have the money to give you gifts all the time (he does try though), and yes, while he does love physical affection too, it’s in the small things he does for you every day that shows his love for you.

Your laundry would be folded even if you didn’t ask, he’d have breakfast ready for you when you wake up, he’ll have a tissue at the ready when you sneeze, he’ll sit with you in complete silence doing different things in the same room, help you study, or distract you from studying, and be the perfect body double when you’re having a hard time doing tasks alone. He himself even understands and appreciates the times you do the same for him.

However, the saying “the way to his heart is through his stomach” runs true for him. Even if you don’t know how to cook, or aren’t very good at it, just the thought of putting in the effort of cooking something for him means more than you know. He’ll teach you along the way, if you’re willing to learn. Even if it’s just you finding a recipe you think he’ll like and would want to learn with him, he’ll appreciate.

There’s some things he will do that you might only understand if you also came from a low-income household. If he makes a pallet on the ground next to your bed for the first time he stays over, it’s out of instinct. Or some of the late night “ingredient dinners” he grabs for himself, it makes sense to him. A spoon full of peanut butter, or a bowl of canned corn and some cheese are typical things that are quick, cheap, and easy to obtain.

He might never get out of that mindset, even after you’ve given him some more security in his life, but don’t hold that against him, that’s just how he learned how to survive in his childhood, he got what he could, even if it meant stealing it, and he tries his best to hold out until whenever his next full meal was, whether that’s in an hour or two days from now.

Ruggie is incredibly hard working, he works various part time jobs, and he’s picked up a plethora of skills, he’s a little good at everything, if you need your makeup done, he’s your guy. Ripped shirt? He can sew it for you. You took up a niche hobby but you aren’t sure where to get started? Ruggie’s got you.

However, he can run himself completely ragged if you don’t tell him to take a break and just take care of him. Do some of his chores, cuddle him, let him take a nap with you, feed him, let him vent to you, anything. He’ll appreciate it all the same, and he’ll always make sure that you never want for anything in return.

Being in a relationship with Ruggie means being in a partnership, he’s devoted, and will put in 100% into the relationship, but you need to put in 100% on your end too, whatever that means to you. He’s in it for the long haul, but he needs to know that you’re going to be there for him when he has nothing, or when he has everything, and he needs to know that you’ll support him regardless, because he’ll support you in the same way.

Sex with Ruggie is always a mixed bag based on the mood, and what both of you need or want out of it. I believe he’s a switch, entirely, and if you want him to take initiative he will, and if you want to take initiative, he’ll follow. He can be serious, he can be goofy, he can make love to you and be incredibly intimate, or he can fuck you and treat you like a slut if that’s what you want.

You can make him beg even, just don’t forget to praise him. He lives for your praise regardless if he’s a sub or a dom, he just wants to make sure he’s doing enough for you, and if you need to switch things up again, tell him. He’s very understanding and adaptable.

Sudden leg cramp? Massages it out, gets you some water, and asks if you want to continue. You’re not quite close to orgasm because of XYZ? He’ll change it up for you so you can get there. You suddenly just want to stop? He would never make you feel guilty for it, if you want to stop, then you two will stop, that’s it.

He’s all for non-sexual acts of intimacy though, bathing is especially his favorite. He loves taking baths or showers with you, and after awhile he almost gets weird taking showers or baths without you, because it just doesn’t feel the same. He feels like he’s somehow also wasting precious water that could be easily saved if you just there with him.

His community means a lot to him, if he brings you back to his hometown, he doesn’t expect everyone to like you, but if you at least put in the effort to get to know them, learn, help, whatever it is that you need to do, he’ll love you even more for it. He’s seen as a big brother to a lot of the younger kids, and if they love you, then he knows he’s found the right person to settle down with.

While there are some people who are definitely your significant other but not exactly your best friend, Ruggie is 100% your best friend and your significant other. He see’s you in the same way. You should be able to laugh and feel comfortable with him, as much as he’ll laugh and feel comfortable with you.

Kalim:

Right off the bat I want to say that Kalim is not as naive as many people perceive him as. He’s emotionally intelligent, but he struggles with seeing the bad in people because that means that the world really is as scary, and awful as people say it is, and that’s not what he wants to see it as..!! He chooses to be naive as both a mix of him being actually a little naive, and as a coping and survival mechanism to some of the traumas in his life.

With that being said, while he is emotionally intelligent, it takes him a minute to differentiate his feelings for you, he wants to be sure that he legitimately is in love with you, and not just infatuated with the idea of you. Kalim romanticizes a lot of scenarios, so for him, of course it’s easy to fall in love with the idea of you, so he takes more time with you, gets to know you better, lets himself feel every emotion with you, and when he finally confesses his feelings for you, know that they’re genuine.

It’s very easy for Kalim to just want to spoil you rotten, if you’re not into it, you gotta tell him that. All he wants in the end is to make you happy, however he makes you happy isn’t really the necessary part to him as long as you’re happy. So, if you like being spoiled, as long as you’re happy, he’ll spoil you. If you feel weird taking his gifts, which are quite expensive, and you get awkward when he sings your praises and wants to throw a parade in your honor? Tell him, and he’ll better suit your needs.

He won’t stop gift giving if you aren’t the type that likes getting gifts, but if he sees a flower while walking, he’ll give it to you, and if you need a sweater because you’re cold, you can take his. If you don’t like crowds he’ll plan something that’s just the two of you.

Jamil will thank you if you end up being the guiding voice for him, in my opinion he reeks of ADHD, just like Floyd, but while Floyd grew to learn different life skills (due to his background), Kalim grew up in privilege and never needed to learn those skills, and was also encouraged not to learn, which didn’t do him any favors. However, Kalim can and does want to learn, if you’re wiling to teach him and be patient with him, he can be clumsy, he’ll have a deep respect for you.

Kalim is used to being coddled by his family, so if he slowly but surely start to make him see reality for what it is, a mix of good and bad, beautiful and ugly, he’ll start to open up himself in different ways even he didn’t realize he knew he had. Make sure to support him through it all, he might need to do some healing he didn’t realize he needed to do... (C’mon, poor boy really had to live with the fact that he can be casually poisoned at any moment, that kind of lifelong paranoia can’t be good for even the best optimist...)

He’s can learn to master any love language if he wanted to, even if he might need a little bit of guidance, he will always be first and foremost, a dedicated partner. Communicate with him, that’s the most important part, he won’t know unless you tell him, even if it you end up having to be a bit blunt, still tell him.

He didn’t realize how touch starved he was until he started dating you, he’s always been a physically affectionate person, but a lot of people push him away or are just uncomfortable with how affectionate he’s being. So the fact that he can be physically affectionate with you? Oh man, he comes off as really needy, he kind of is, but it’s always got rose colored glasses on, so he’s just a sweetheart who just really wants to please you.

However, he’s still new to romance, he’s always wanted to be romantic with someone, so while he’s physically affectionate, he gets nervous when he wants to kiss you. He starts off with kissing your knuckles, then the inner part of your wrist, then your cheeks, but he always makes himself too flustered to fully kiss you on the lips, at least, for the first time.

Once you initiate the first kiss with him, then it’s over for, then he’ll openly kiss you all the time, never really making out, but a lot of “pecks” on the lips, and god forbid he has to go do something important without you, because one “goodbye kiss” turns easily into a dozen goodbye kisses if you don’t stop him and tell him you’ll see him later.

You’ll have to guide him through his first make out session, he’s got a lot of pent up energy that he doesn’t really know what to do with, he gets a bit overwhelmed, and while he’s into it, his hands shake when he pulls you closer, or he grips onto your clothes a little too tight...

But once again, once the first is over, you’ll find him quickly wanting more of you, and finding himself getting a little greedy with wanting your love, it’s as if he’s been running at 100% battery his entire life with no real good way to release even a little bit of that energy, so when you give him that outlet, he wants to just give all of his energy to you.

Speaking of, the first time you have sex with him, it’ll be a little clumsy, but again, once he learns, like I’ve mentioned a few times, he just wants to please you. So much so, he might not actually realize he’s overstimulating you, he’s just taking your moans and reactions as a positive thing, and is just going to keep going, because obviously he’s doing something right, and you’re pleased, but doesn’t realize there is such a thing as too much.

He’s definitely a switch, of course, if he is dominant, he’s a service dom maybe even bordering pleasure dom sometimes. Also, Kalim is very loud, he moans, whines, groans, anything and everything, always praising you for something, even if it isn’t even related to sex, he’s just saying the first thing that’s coming to his mind, which, really isn’t much considering his brain turns to absolute mush when he’s fucking you, but it’s something.

Kalim loves laying on your stomach and just... staring at you... He considers himself so lucky to have someone like you loving him, and he hopes you feel the same way, he wants you to feel the same way.

If you meet his family, good luck with his siblings, they’ll have a thousand questions and he will want to answer all of them, even when he really shouldn’t. And, he also has lost count of how many siblings he has, so... it’s very easy for him to just... sort of forget who you’ve met and who you haven’t.

If his parents somehow don’t approve of you for some reason, Kalim will defend you! He will struggle to find the words at first, more confused and hurt by his parents choice, but in the end he’ll choose his love for you over any riches he could ever hold or own. To him, you are his greatest treasure. The most valuable thing in his life.

He finally understands what it means when people say things are “priceless” not in the way in which he originally believed, thinking they were under-valuing something or that it was free, but that it meant that no money in the world could ever make them consider parting with whatever it was, and for him, that’s you.

Kalim is a sunshine child, but he’s not so naive, if you’re willing to be patient with him, guide him, love him with everything, he’ll do the same for you in return. He’ll always know when you’re upset, even if it hasn’t fully hit you yet that you were upset, he wants to help you with anything, and he wants to grow with you.

#Kalim Al Asim x Reader #Ruggie Bucchi x Reader #Kalim Al Asim #Ruggie Bucchi #Floyd Leech #Floyd Leech x Reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #lemon #NSFT

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randyisrad · 11 months

Text

it’s 5 in the morning and i can’t stop thinking abt shuake so here’s my word vomit

as someone who was in the fandom years before royal came out, royal did such a good job at strengthening the connection between akira and goro . that much is obvious , but royal gives you the opportunity to know goro on a deeper level , and gives you the ability to empathize with him . it gives you a chance to realize how much deeper their connection is in comparison to the other phantom thieves .

you see how much akira deeply cares about goro , despite everything pointing to the fact that he logically shouldn’t , and the same can be said for goro . no matter how much he tries to hate akira , he just can’t . all he can do is be jealous of his circumstances . this is obvious throughout his entire social link , but it’s especially prevalent at the end of his rank 8 .

“your deft handling of your unfortunate circumstances, your uniqueness, your ability to surpass me— all of these irritate me. You’re the one person I refuse to lose to.”

he’s listing things he “hates” about akira, but none of them are actually about akira . they’re about the circumstances he’s in . goro’s jealous of the fact that akira has everything he doesn’t , he’s jealous of akira . he doesn’t hate akira .

this is all obvious , and the game even says it at points . there’s one thing i haven’t seen a lot of people talk about (i’m new to tumblr so this might not apply here) which is sad because it’s what makes me the most sad about goro and akira , ,

in his rank 7 social link , goro asks akira to join him as a detective , and he means this wholeheartedly .

“Why not join me instead..? All you’d have to do is abandon the teammates you have now.”

he tried to save akira from what shido ordered him to do . he likes akira , he enjoys being around him , he enjoys the connection that they have and how they can understand each other on a deeper level . he tried the only thing he could think of to save him , he didn’t want to kill him . and considering this is goro , we know he has no problem killing people who he thinks deserve it . despite him “hating” akira , clearly he didn’t want to kill him .

anyway , , back to his rank 8 , also for something i haven’t seen a lot of people mention outside of tumblr (no clue if people talk about it here, i hope so shfhshds) —

even before he betrayed akira , he let his mask slip around him . goro felt comfortable enough around akira to the point where he could be his true self , at least to some extent . this is shown even just in the tone of his voice , which was such an amazing detail (robbie daymond is so talented , my jaw was dropped the entire social link) , and even in showing akira more of his true power . at the very least , goro respected akira enough to be honest with him before his supposed death , and considering that goro has been wearing this mask for who knows how long , that means a lot .

that concludes my shuake rambles for now , if you can’t tell they make me feel sick (in a good way)

#shuake #akeshu #goro akechi #akira kurusu #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #atlus let them be happy

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bae04xx · 7 months

Note

Omg would you write a yandere tsukasa x reader please

i’m actually bare sorry i never check tumblr and when i saw this i was sooo excited so i hope you like it xx

this has not been proof read and i cba sorry

as the winter closed in, there was a chilling presence in the air. i stepped back into the school, noticing the frost that had settled gently against the glass panes of the windows, i tugged my woollen hat down my head further in order to keep the heat in. while strolling through the barren halls i took notice of the oddly quiet atmosphere, sure it had been an hour or so since school ended but usually i could hear some clubs closing up, or at least hanako and yashiro. i made a mental notice of the abnormality, but continued my way to the broadcasting room.

i wonder to myself if i took too long, i had tried to be on time, considering i had to be finished with my homework in an hour- despite being forced to deal with a whole weeks worth in such a small amount of time i was expected to do it all. thanks to tsukasa. according to him if i spaced it out evenly i did it in small parts every day that was “too much time wasted that i could be spent with him” although he’s happy with putting my education on the line��

well at least that’s the only thing he’s endangering- id it were up to him i’d be 6 feet under, my ghost being tormented by his antics constantly.

but like i was going allow that, i’d been firm with him since the day i met him, no matter what happens between us- i am not bound to him and i am not dying for him. sure i loved him..

i loved him more than anything. even if i acted like i hated him, and he got on my nerves like mad, and he was a terrible person, i still loved him. and he loved me. he made it very obvious what he wanted out of me- for me to belong to him. tsukasa was very possessive, especially if he owned an object, but even if it wasn’t his- he would do anything to keep it. and that’s what i hated, i am not an object and i am not something to be kept, or protected; i don’t belong to anyone! his whole ideology goes against everything i stand for, but he just doesn’t listen.

it’s constant affection, constant attention, constant interrogations, he has to know where i am, what i’m doing, who i’m with always. but i’m not a child, fucks sake i am my own person. yet he’s always going on at me how i need to be bound to him, he’ll give me whatever i want as long as i belong to him, he can kill me and we’ll be together forever, i’ll be his princess. but i want to live. i want to make a life for myself, make my family proud, have my own family one day. but yet i love him with every atom in my being..

gosh life is confusing, why can’t it just be simple? i doubt anyone else has these problems.

i stopped dead in my tracks, as i heard hanako’s boyish laugh, my eyebrows knitted as i realised i missed the last flight of stairs, too absorbed in my own thoughts.

“y/n? what’re you doing down here?” i heard him call over from the toilets, of he knew i was here.

“y/n? hey!” yashiro rushed towards me and brought me into a soft hug, she was very warm, the complete opposite to my shivering form.

“hanako- she’s freezing!”

“what’re you doing here? aren’t you meant to be with tsukasa already?” he questioned, ignoring yashiro’s worries in order for his question to be answered.

“i’m fine,” i sighed, “i’m not meant to be anywhere, we aren’t bound.” i stated calmly as he chuckled.

“aren’t bound but you’re wrapped around his finger aren’t you?” he said, his cheeky smile adorning his face.

i huffed, preparing myself reply to his quip before i was interrupted by a cold, ghostly figuring wrapping itself around my back.

“y/n! what’re you doing here? you were meant to be in the broadcasting room ages ago!” he whined in my ear, his grip around my waist tightening, his sinister grip on my contrasted against his childish words.

“amane! i see you found y/n!” his face brightened as he saw his brother, while hanako stood his ground, yet uncomfortably. yashiro backed away from me towards him.

“she found me, i’m guessing looking for you,” he said coldly, as tsukasa craned his neck.

“well she was going the wrong way! c’mon y/n, i’ve got some much stuff to show you!” he smiled, grabbing my hand and leading the way, i sent a weary glance to yashiro, who just stood still, unsure of what to do.

…

“why were you there.” there was a bite in this voice, it was just me and him in the far part of the room, closed off from the 2 other members.

“i don’t know, i was just wondering and was thinking about some… stuff and didn’t even have where i was going on my mind,” i spoke softly, noticing his tense tone and his blank face- he exhibited no emotion.

“i’m not looking for excuses.” he spoke, his dark eyes barring holes into my e/c ones.

“i was on my way to you tsukasa, i promise,” i tried to reason with him, evidently hating the atmosphere.

“when how did you get there y/n, how did to get to amane when you were on your way to the basement?”

“i.. don’t know. i’m just stressed, ok? i’ve got a lot on my mind right now,” i was so close to giving up, walking out of this stupid club and going home to get the first good nights sleep i would get in months. he has me constantly cooped up here until the late evenings. just because he “can’t dread the afterlife with out me.”

“you’re not going home anymore.” he stated, his face still unchanged as mine blew up before him.

“i need to do my homework- my parents will kill me tsukasa! i can’t do this to myself, i need to finish my studies, i can’t always be here with you! my education matters, i put up with you all in my face while i am meant to be learning, set aside my home work to be with you, walk home in the dark all on my own and get god knows how many hours of sleep all for you!” i screamed, i was tired, and the bags under my eyes said that for me. just as i stood up to leave and turned my back on him, he grabbed me from behind.

“you won’t have to worry about any of that anymore, now be a good girl and sit back down for me,” i heard him whisper in my ear, as i tried to break out of his grip i left something sharp and cold appear next to my neck.

he had a knife against my throat.

“now are you going to listen to me?” he grinned.

i silently sat opposite to him, as we had been previously, he could feel the fear aching off me, he was basking in this work, his face staring lovingly yet proudly at my trembling body.

“you really should’ve told me this sooner,” he sighed, playing with the silver knife, spinning it between his fingers.

i said nothing, unsure of what would be the right response.

“are you gonna reply or just sit there shaking like a leaf?” he giggled, before he patted his lap, indicating for me to sit.

i slowly get steadily sat on his lap, as he cuddled into me, taking a deep breathe from his noise while his hands were feeling every inch of me.

“i’m going to miss you being so warm,” he said to himself, i shiver went down my spine.

“what.. do you mean?” my voice was so quiet, i couldn’t manage to speak above a whisper’s volume.

“i’m doing you a favour, i’m going to take away all these bad feelings from my baby, how does that sound?” he teased me with his fingers, sensually moving them against my thighs, i melted into his touch.

“yeah.. that sounds good,”

“so, you want me to take all these bad feelings away from you? no matter what the consequences are?”

“mhm..” i mumbled, too tired and my feelings being all over the place to speak.

“i’m gonna need a yes y/n,” he chuckled.

“yes tsukasa,” i said wearily, before i felt it.

his knife went through my heart, i sprung up as a i felt an animalistic scream emerge from my throat. as the blood spewed out of my i felt my lover’s chest rising to the beat of his uncontrollable laughter. i watched as he floated above me, his hands gripping my cheeks as he giggled and stared at his masterpiece, i felt my body dying and the blood rushing around me- only to leave me. my eyes slowly started drooping, until all i saw was black, and i felt myself slip away, finally at peace.

“y/n! you’re finally awake! gosh, you couldn’t of taken longer, could ya?”

“wh-what’s going on? i thought i was dead..”

“sakura! she’s awake! y/n is finally awake!”

“very nice tsukasa.”

“you’re finally mine, all mine. we can be together forever now!” he giggled, before planting a kiss on my forehead.

#fanfic #x reader #tbhk x reader #requests #requests are open #yandere tbhk #tbhk #tbhk hanako #toilet bound hanako kun #yandere tsukasa yugi #tsukasa yugi #yandere tsukasa x reader #tsukasa yugi x reader #tbhk yashiro #yandere #yandere x reader

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yeonboy · 5 months

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𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐲 ♡ choi beomgyu.

He aches to be the one you would have snuck off with; to be the one you would want to share secret kisses with. He aches. And in that moment, he realizes his feelings have gone too far. They have caused him to stop being a true well-wisher to you; he is being selfish. He needs to take a step back. Or, Choi Beomgyu is head over heels in love with his best friend – and she simply doesn’t feel the same.

❧ choi beomgyu x f. reader | 16+ | college!au ♡ best friends!au ♡ unrequited love!au ♡ angst ♡ drama.

❧ 4.7 k words

❧ warnings! profanity, an extreeeeeme amount of pining, one-sided feelings, unrequited love, jealousy, heartbreak, some self-deprication, one (1) mention of drinking and partying, one (1) mention of making out, maybe an innuendo or two! mostly just buckets full of mopey, pining gyu </3 and a hopeful (?) ending (:

❧ note! i wrote this because i was listening to m5’s whiskey and crying and thinking of gyu so take that how u will </3 please note that the lyrics are there just to set the tone, not to be taken too literally. i just love this song, man. please don’t hate me for the ending, i changed it thrice and then settled on this. it just felt perfect to me this way :”) also! pls excuse the lack of dividers, tumblr won't let me add them without hiding the post from the tags for some reason :/

❧ masterlist | inbox ⁘

i never knew that love was blind; till i was hers and she was never mine…

“So, I have a question for you.”

Beomgyu blinks at your words, letting the steel straw escape his lips as you pull his strawberry milkshake away from him.

In fascination, he watches the way your lips wrap around the shiny tube in the exact place where his own had been. You slurp once and pull away, leaving a tint of pink – pinker than the drink, pinker than Beomgyu’s cheeks, pinker than the love-goggles that are permanently on his eyes when he’s with you – on the edge of the straw.

“Gyu?”

He wants to wipe that pink away with his lips, so bad. But your hand comes in with a tissue to clean that precious speck of your lipstick away, before he can even blink a second time.

Now he blinks again and looks up at you. God, you’re so gorgeous with your brows all furrowed and lips all pouty. He is so thoroughly ruined by you. Why does he continue to subject himself to this torture instead of keeping his distance like a sane person?

He doesn’t fucking know.

“Y–yeah? What question?”

“A hypothetical one. Very important, nonetheless.” You stare into space with your eyes squinted, perfect cheekbones reflecting the light from the evening traffic beyond the glass walls of the cafe you’re seated in. “If long time BFFs happen to develop feelings for each other, should they confess?”

Beomgyu chokes on air, freezing like a solid block of ice.

What did you just ask?

“You know… Just imagine! Two people who have been the best of friends for ages. And then one of them realizes they’re in love with the other.” Your rounded eyes turn to him with a hint of worry in them. “Should they confess and live their dream? Or should they take this secret to their grave and protect their friendship?”

Beomgyu is a mess.

Why the actual hell are you asking him that? Him – the one guy in your entire life that doesn’t have to imagine this specific situation because he’s been living it for years, now?

Now, he’s not panicking because he thinks you might have figured him out and are trying to pave a path to confession. No, he's self-aware enough to not be deluded. And his panic kinda stems from this very fact.

He's self-aware enough to know that while he's looking at you and daydreaming of a picket fence and good-morning kisses, your mind is stuck on someone else. Choi Soobin. Older than him, taller than him, cuter than him. Guy checks all boxes of the type of guys you like so well, Beomgyu wonders if Soobin is the reason why you created those boxes in the first place.

So he's scared out of his mind that you're paving a road to confess to Soobin.

“Wow, aren’t you super helpful this evening?”

Your whine of frustration pulls him out of his spiral. He clears his throat and shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know, man. That’s a very subjective question.”

“Subjective?” You tilt your head in thought and Beomgyu dreads the next words you would say before you have even formed them: “Okay, let me answer it subjectively first then! Like, imagine if you had feelings for me. I wouldn't want you to confess them to me, like, ever.”

Ouch. Not that he plans to ever confess them to you, but still pretty ouch.

Slightly hurt, he drags his milkshake back to himself and slurps away the rest of it before smacking his lips and shaking his head. “Well then subjectively, it’s the complete opposite for me.”

You look at him with an extremely confused frown. “But what if I lose the friendship because you don't feel the same?”

This hypothesis is making him lose his damn mind.

“I… well, what if we lose the chance to be something much more amazing just because you were scared?”

Moment of introspection: he hopes to all the powers in the universe that he isn’t losing the chance to be something much more amazing with you just because he’s scared. You don’t like him like that, you won’t ever like him like that.

He’s being smart and self-preservative. Not scared.

You're lost in thoughts for a moment, and then you suddenly get up with a jump. Grinning at him, you lean down to peck his cheek and rush out of the cafe before he can even fully absorb the warm brush of your lips against his skin. “You're the best, Gyu, thank you so much!”

In a daze, he brings his fingertips to brush against the apple of his cheek.

Why did you run away like that? Why did you sound so excited? Fuck, are you going to confess right now?

He pulls his fingertips away.

They are pink.

yeah i was reckless, but i let it burn; i let it burn, yeah…

“And if they show up hand-in-hand, then what? Then what, huh, Tyun? It’s easy for you to say I’m overthinking, but you aren’t thinking nearly enough!”

Kang Taehyun, the university’s Student Council member who is in-charge of overseeing the set-up for tomorrow's inter-uni basketball game – and also Beomgyu’s best friend of fifteen years – rolls his eyes so hard, it’s a wonder they don’t fall out of their sockets.

“Why do you keep setting yourself up for more pain, man? Why don't you try to invest these emotions somewhere they will be appreciated?”

“I can't just compel myself to start or stop feeling, dude…”

Shin Ryujin suddenly appears behind the bleachers that the two of them were covering with a banner, both hands planted in the back pockets of her jorts. They should look incredibly lame, but she somehow pulls them off.

Beomgyu looks at her with wide eyes, wondering how much she heard.

“Yo, dumbass! Are you coming to the game tomorrow?” She’s smirking at him but there's a sparkle in her eyes that makes him chuckle at the name.

“The name's Beomgyu.”

“That's what I said. So, are you coming?”

Beomgyu has actually been trying to think of an excuse to get out his regular movie night with you - and this sounds like the perfect one. He shrugs a shoulder. “Don’t really got any plans, so… Maybe I will.”

Taehyun gives him a weird look because he knows Beomgyu always had plans on Fridays.

Ryujin grins wide. “Perfect! Well, just two requests.”

He squints with interest. “What requests?”

“Wear my jersey! And, uh, don’t bring a date, please?”

She looks extremely bashful while saying the second part of the sentence. Which is somewhat jarring. It’s Shin fucking Ryujin, she eats men for breakfast. Why is she almost blushing?

But then Taehyun is cackling, which reminds Beomgyu of the first request she made. He immediately scowls. “Hey! I’m not wearing your jersey like some groupie!

She rolls her eyes, but her lips are quirked up because he didn’t say no to the second request. And he knows he won’t; you're the only one he ever asks to accompany him to places, and he's only going to the game tomorrow to escape you.

“Your loss. Just so you know, boys are lining up to wear my jersey…”

Scoffing, Beomgyu goes back to handing Taehyun more pins. “Yeah right.”

“What? You don’t believe me?” Ryujin scoffs. “Watch this - ayo, Heeseung! Wanna wear my jersey tomorrow?”

A screech from the Students Council’s Vice Prez is followed by a high-pitched: “For real? Yes, please, I—”

“Sike! Haha, gotcha, little bitch!”

Taehyun is doubled over in laughter and even Beomgyu can’t hold in his chuckles at the look of utter devastation on Heeseung’s face and victory on Ryujin’s. She raises an eyebrow when their gazes meet. “See?”

“How much did you pay him for this skit?”

She smacks his shoulder with an irritated whine. “You’re way too fucking cynical for no damn reason, dude. Okay, no jersey - but get a no. 17 placard for me, at least?”

Rolling his eyes, he finally nods.

“Great! See ya tomorrow, loser! Bye, Tyun!”

Taehyun waves at her as she leaves, while Beomgyu cups his hands around his mouth to yell out: “The name’s Beomgyu!”

“That’s what I said!”

“Man, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you actually enjoy talking to a girl.”

Offended to his very bones, Beomgyu gapes at his best friend. “Dude! I enjoy talking to girls! I’m straight! Or did you forget how I threw up that one time when you kissed me during spin-the-bottle in seventh gra—”

“Yes, I remember!” Taehyun smacks him with a scowl on his face. “But that’s not what I meant. Gyu, you only ever talk to Y/N. Or have you not realized that? And look absolutely lovesick and physically pained while doing that.”

“Nahhhh, untrue. It’s just—” He cuts himself off to purse his lips. Taehyun is one-hundred percent correct. “It’s just a little difficult to mask my emotions all the time, but I manage…”

Taehyun just shakes his head in obvious disappointment. Then he tilts his chin up towards the direction where Ryujin is laughing around with some girls from the cheer team. “She obviously likes you a lot. Don’t hurt her.”

“I won’t,” he mumbles, lips forming a pout because this is so confusing. “But isn’t she basically signing up for the hurt if she’s doing this despite knowing where I stand with Y/N?

“Just…” Taehyun sighs. “Yeah, just don’t give her false hope.”

Beomgyu feels like he’s giving himself false hope every single time he talks to you, but what can be done.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

You end up texting him first, that night, to cancel tomorrow’s movie night. You apparently have “plans” with a friend.

Bile rises up Beomgyu’s throat at the thought of you finally going on a date with Soobin.

He can’t get himself to directly ask if that is the case, but fuck, why won’t you tell him? He goes to sleep with a pain in his chest that night.

the feeling it was bittersweet, realizing i was in too deep…

As fate would have it, Beomgyu bumps into you at the very gates of the basketball stadium, the next evening. You look like a dream in your short skirt and varsity jacket.

He feels nauseous at the thought of discovering Soobin trailing behind you with a large drink with two straws, or something.

“Uh… these are your plans?” He says in a way of greeting.

Your eyes widen when you see him, but then you pout. “Yeah! Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna be here? We would’ve come together!”

He immediately thinks of his promise to Ryujin and shakes his head. “Ah, actually… Shin Ryujin invited me.”

Your mouth forms an O, a lost expression crossing your face. He’s never been great at reading people, but with the way his brain gets fuzzy around you, he’s doing an even worse job right now. Because he can absolutely not tell what this look on your face means.

Right then, the girl herself arrives, a wistful smile on her face. “Thought I told you to not bring a date? And she’s wearing Chaewon’s jersey, hmph.”

“Oh! We didn't—”

You cut him off with a chuckle that somehow sounds a little strained. “Ah, I’m actually here with her sister!”

Yunjin? He didn’t know you were friends with her… But that means no Soobin, right? Which might mean that no confession happened yesterday?

“Dude, Chaewon’s our Forward and our captain. No hard feelings!” Ryujin throws up a peace sign at you, and the two girls laugh.

After you leave to look for Yunjin, Ryujin stays back, smirking at him. But there’s a distinct look in her eyes that he can, for a change, recognize. Partly because the fuzz in his brain left along with you. And partly because he sees this look in the mirror everyday.

“I don’t even stand a chance, do I?” She doesn’t sound upset, just… regretful.

Taehyun’s words come back to him. “Ryu, I—”

“Nah, it’s fine. I knew what I was getting into, Choi.” She smiles, this time, pointing at the ‘17’ placard in his hands. “I’m gonna score a basket just for this, though. Cheer loudly, ’kay?”

she was a lesson – i had to learn, i had to learn, yeah…

Beomgyu had gone to the game only for Ryujin, not for you. He literally came here to escape movie night with you.

Yet, he sits in the stadium with his eyes straying from Ryujin’s great moves as Point Guard, reaching across the court, to land on you. It’s so annoying and makes him feel so helpless, he wants to scream. But there’s something magnetic about your presence that just won’t let him exist peacefully.

Is this how love is supposed to feel? Exhausting and painful at all times?

What adds to the exhaustion and pain is the way you are seated with your eyes bright and teeth on display, Yunjin on one side and…Soobin on the other.

Though he saw it coming, Beomgyu still finds it really hard to swallow the pain that pricks at his throat at the sight of you giggling into Soobin’s side and looking at the guy with eyes full of a million stars. He tries to seek comfort in the way Soobin seems to reciprocate your happiness, but it’s really hard.

He isn’t even jealous at this point, he’s just tired. If he could stop himself from feeling so much, all the damn time, he really, really would.

The crowd suddenly cheers, drawing his attention away from you – thankfully – and back to the court. And then his eyes widen in surprise. Ryujin stands with her hands braced on her hips, gaze directly directed at him. Well – she said she would score a basket for him and she did. She lifts a hand to point at him, causing a louder cheer to roar across the stadium, and Beomgyu cannot hold back the loud chuckle that escapes him. He raises both his hands up in a double thumbs-up.

Somewhere from three rows below, Heeseung shouts out an expletive at him, but the game has resumed again so everyone around the guy asks him to shut up.

Like clockwork, Beomgyu’s gaze slowly floats back up at the stands, slowly zeroing in towards your seat – only to stop short. You’re not in your seat. And neither is Soobin.

Oh.

Now again, Beomgyu should be prepared to face this as well. But he’s once again at a loss.

Unwittingly, his brain conjures up images of you and Soobin finding a secluded, dark corner to make out in. He envisions the brightness he just saw in both of your gazes, imagines the tinkling giggles you would release, pictures the darkening of your cheeks.

And in that moment, he can’t find it in himself to be happy for you. He can’t pretend to like Soobin.

He aches to be the one you would have snuck off with; to be the one you would want to share secret kisses with.

He aches.

And in that moment, he realizes his feelings have gone too far. They have caused him to stop being a true well-wisher to you; he is being selfish.

He needs to take a step back.

i used to try to forget her…

“Dude, the one thing I asked of you was to not hurt Ryujin. What the hell do you mean you’re taking her out?”

Beomgyu pinches the bridge of his nose, almost regretting disclosing his plans to his best friend. But he needed Taehyun to be on his side to make sure he doesn’t chicken out. Although given the tone the guy is using with him right now, Beomgyu’s purpose might be failing either way.

He puts his phone on loudspeaker, extracting a jacket from his closet to match the blue t-shirt he’s wearing.

“She was awarded MVP for yesterday’s game for the first time in this season. When I congratulated her on it, she called me her lucky charm—”

“Ugh, it’s as if she wants you to hurt her,” Taehyun murmurs and Beomgyu can hear the grimace in his voice through the phone.

“So I asked her if she wanted to celebrate the win with her lucky charm, and she said yes…”

Taehyun gives a sigh. “You literally flirted with her.”

“I did. Weren’t you the one telling me I should focus my feelings where they will be reciprocated?”

“Yes, you should. But do you even feel anything?”

“I do, yeah…” Immense sadness and despair with a brush of frustration. “I feel like I’m gonna have a good time with her.”

“Yeah, I don’t doubt that.” Taehyun gives another sigh. “Just be smart, okay? Don’t lead her on, Gyu.”

“I won’t, man.”

Settling on a black denim jacket that goes with his jeans and boots of the same color, Beomgyu leaves his dorm in the half a decade old Corvette his parents have permitted him to keep on campus. He’s meeting Ryujin at the cafe, which saves him from spending time in the car with her.

When he enters the cafe, though, Beomgyu begins to wonder if he has somehow offended some higher, superior power by some action of his, for which he is now being punished on the daily.

Because before he can even begin to look around for his date, a giggling Soobin catches his eye. He’s sitting facing the door, feeding spaghetti to his date.

His date.

You.

Your back is to him, but Beomgyu can still see how you’ve styled your hair in a way that is different than usual. You’ve always complained that your hair is too silky to be held up in an updo—a remark Beomgyu can never understand because he, personally, loves the texture of your hair—and so this complicated bun feels so strange on you.

And the off-shoulder dress instead of your beloved full-sleeves. And the dangling earrings instead of your usual studs. And—

Holy fuck, this isn’t you.

This isn’t you.

Beomgyu is fully frozen in his spot now, stunned and panicked at the same time.

Soobin is on a date – with someone else.

Should he be happy or concerned?

The sweat accumulating on his palms indicates the latter.

“Gyu!”

The call snaps his attention to a corner of the cafe, where Shin Ryujin sits with a grin on her face. Pushing his lips up, he waves at her. But his eyes involuntarily swim back to Soobin once more – only this time, both the taller boy and his date, Kim Chaewon, the basketball captain, are looking at Beomgyu with matching smiles.

He doesn’t know how to respond. Or react. His smile is frozen on his lips and his hand is still up in a wave, however, so the couple take that to be his greeting and go back to talking among themselves. And Beomgyu pushes himself to finally walk towards Ryujin’s table.

“I see you already spotted what I was dying to gossip about,” Ryujin grumbles with a scowl when he settles opposite her.

Beomgyu blinks. “Uh… Soobin?”

“Who?” This time Ryujin is the one to give a clueless blink. But then her eyebrows rise. “Oh, the boy. Yeah, in a way, I guess? But Chaewon, obviously. She’s finally on a date with her crush of a whole ass year.”

What? “O–oh?”

The waiter comes over to take their orders, right then. Beomgyu asks for a club sandwich and beer, while Ryujin chooses an extra cheese loaded pizza and a virgin mojito.

“You don’t want me drunk around you, loser.” She winks at him but her smile is forced enough to make guilt unfurl in Beomgyu’s chest. “Anyways! Chaewon! She’s finally winning at life and it’s all thanks to your girl.”

Beomgyu’s heart jumps up to his throat for multiple reasons.

His girl? You? Who else could it even be.

He drily swallows. “My…?”

“She was so hard at work during yesterday’s match! Fuck knows what magical words she said to both of them but they finally stopped their cat and mouse chase for good.” A fond look enters Ryujin’s gaze as she peeks past him to look at the couple. “It was sickening, watching Chaewon pine day in and out. Kinda like it is to watch you.”

Ryujin is laughing at her own joke, but Beomgyu’s mind is stuck on the information she just imparted. “Yesterday’s match?”

“Yeah. She arrived with Yunjin, remember? They both sat with Soobin and talked about Chaewon the entire time. Then she said something to Chae during break, and boom – this scardy ass dude was finally asking Chae out at the end of the match!”

Oh, fuck. This is why you were sitting with Soobin yesterday.

You were setting him up with Chaewon.

This is probably why you have been hanging out with the guy and generally interacting so much with him recently as well.

Wait, was this why you asked him that question about having feelings for a best friend? As far as his general university knowledge goes, Chaewon and Soobin have been best friends since before college.

Oh fuck, indeed.

Beomgyu really blew things out of proportion and let his overthinking mind carry him away.

“Speaking of – when do you plan to confess, Choi?”

Beomgyu scoffs at the question. “Never.”

Ryujin looks genuinely confused at the response. “What? Why?”

“She doesn’t feel the same, Ryu. And she’s my best friend. I can’t risk it.”

“How do you know she doesn’t feel the same?”

That’s – an odd question. One that Beomgyu feels like should be very obvious to answer, but when he opens his mouth to do just that, he has to shut it back again. Because ‘I just know’ is going to sound as stupid out loud as it does in his head.

But then what else does he have? He thought you had feelings for someone else but that was obviously not the case.

“I… I mean isn’t it obvious? She would’ve hinted at it… said anything at all if she felt anything…”

The moment Ryujin narrows her eyes and clicks her tongue, he knows he messed up. “Like you have? You’re sitting on your hands, too, dumbass. Does she even know that you don’t go on dates?”

“I’m on a date right now.”

“Keep talking like that and you’ll leave this date with a black eye.”

The waiter arrives with their food, and as Ryujin dives right in, Beomgyu takes a moment to actually think about what the girl has been saying.

You not having feelings for someone else doesn’t automatically imply that you’ve suddenly stopped viewing Beomgyu platonically. Which is why he doesn’t want to suddenly drop his plans of moving on and go back to pining over you.

He wishes for this to be a smooth transition – getting rid of his romantic feelings for you while also staying friends. But if he pays mind to what Ryujin just said, he will block this way for himself.

Because the moment he confesses, it will be a one-way street. You’ll never talk to him again and he’ll be too embarrassed to even show you his face.

Now, of course, he isn’t even considering what could happen if you actually ended up reciprocating – because he’s done enough of that for years now and he’s honestly… tired.

Loving you, as he has concluded time again, is painful and exhausting. He just wants to be happy again.

“How about you stop giving me love advice and start looking for someone new to crush on?” Beomgyu raises an eyebrow at Ryujin, who picks up an olive from her pizza to throw at his face with a scowl.

But then when she dissolves into giggles, sprinkling her happiness and beauty all over him, Beomgyu has to pause to wonder if she doesn’t actually need to look for someone new to crush on.

He offers to drop her off at the end of the date and Ryujin thanks him for the treat. His hands feel a little clammy when she grins at him with a tilt of her head, short hair flying up with the wind.

“Will… will I see you again?”

“Uh, yeah? You see me everyday, dumbass.” Ryujin gives a chuckle but it doesn’t sound natural.

“No, I mean – like this. On a date.”

Her shoulders deflate and her smile leaves her face. Pursing her lips, she looks at him in what could only be defined as disappointment. “This wasn’t a date, Beomgyu. And I won’t be your rebound.”

He’s not asking her to be – except, maybe he is. He doesn’t know anymore.

She seems to know more than him because she gives him another one of those wry smiles of hers and pats his shoulder. “Tell her how you feel and get out of this stupid limbo. I can be your shoulder to cry on, but not a heart to play with. Good night, loser.”

He truly feels like a loser when she walks away from his car.

but now i smile when i remember.

Beomgyu has heard people talk a great deal about ‘right person, wrong time’ or ‘wrong person, right time’, but he has never felt the gravity of it the way he does now.

You’re sitting on the bleachers with Lee Heeseung and giggling your heart away like he’s the funniest man alive. Heeseung, to his credit, is looking at you with a sparkle in his eyes that rivals the entire galaxy.

And as Beomgyu watches the scene from next to the water dispenser in a discrete corner, the bottom of his stomach feels strangely calm.

It’s been a week since he had that confrontation with Ryujin. He didn’t exactly take her advice and run to confess to you, but he certainly did drop hints. And he certainly did observe your reactions.

At the end, he ruefully finds himself exactly where he always has been – watching you offer your affections to someone else from afar.

“How long has he been keeping this in?” he asks around a scoff when Heeseung shows you some magic trick and gloats in your excited clapping.

Taehyun hums as he screws the lid of the water dispenser tight and dusts his hands off to come stand next to Beomgyu. “Fuck knows. I think he’s always smiled a little too brightly at her whenever—oh my God, did you see that? Butterfingers! I could see that card from here. Making a joke out of the best card trick in the books!”

Beomgyu laughs at his friend’s grumbles. Then he gives a sigh. “She looks happy, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, she does. But I don’t really think she’s on the same page as Lee. Or even you for that matter.” Taehyun settles on the ground and Beomgyu follows his lead. “She’s enjoying her college days like a normal uni student. And maybe you should too, Gyu. Enough of this pining, enough of being in love. Don’t you want to get drunk off your ass and makeout with some ditzy freshman at a party?”

Beomgyu’s horror must show on his face because Taehyun snorts when their eyes meet.

“Okay, maybe not all of it. But… we’re young, buddy. You’ll have plenty of time to fall in love. Hopefully this time with someone who loves you more?”

Beomgyu watches the way you lean closer to Heesung to whisper something in his ear, and as the guy’s cheeks grow red in response, he frowns to himself.

“What about all those times when she seemed jealous? Or upset I wasn’t paying attention to her?”

“Dude, for real?” Taehyun punches his shoulder. “You get like that too when I’m not available at your every beck and call.”

Beomgyu slowly exhales, leaning back on his palms and tilting his head up to let the sunlight wash over his face.

He really is stepping out of his delusions, this time.

You don't like him like that. You don't have feelings for him.

You and him are going to remain just friends.

He's finally ready to face the fact and move forward.

“Yo, loser! Wanna play catch?”

He’s smiling even before he has opened his eyes. Taehyun clears his throat in an exaggerated way with his eyebrows raised. “Never seen you grin that brightly in a while, my man…”

He looks around towards the source of the voice, his grin turning into laughter at the evil gleam in Ryujin’s eyes as she hurtles the basketball towards him.

Somehow managing to catch it with an enraged gasp, Beomgyu wastes no time in chasing the girl with it.

Somewhere in his peripheral vision, he notices the way you have cuddled up with Heesung and how the two of you are laughing at his antics with Ryujin.

When he briefly meets your eye, you give him a thumbs up with your grin.

And for the first time in years, he is able to smile back at you without an ounce of pain in his heart.

and i was so young till she kissed me like a whiskey… like a whiskey.

FIN.

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