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gg-pedro · 4 months

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can you hear the music (ch. 1) - joel miller x reader

masterlist

even here, at the end of all things, some things persisted. one thing in particular, throughout all the places you had been. music.

summary: everyone in jackson is trying to distract themselves from something. you teach ellie piano and find yourself trying to help more than one miller settle into their new world.

warnings: post outbreak!joel, jackson!era, platonic!ellie x reader, implied age gap, joel x reader, AFAB!reader, they kiss lolz, smut to come, pining, feelings.

words: 1.8k

a/n: a little sweet, a little bitter, a little self indulgent. I'm planning on this being a series! I hope you enjoy. warning tags only apply to this chapter.

Two knocks. Three. More knocking, hushed squabbling from outside your door. You got up from your seat at the kitchen table, a piling mess of sheet music and scribbled notes.

Opening the door revealed your newest student, Ellie, looking very much like Joel was leading her to the gallows with that scowl on her face.

“Can we just get this over with? I’m fucking hungry.” Ellie pushed past you, shrugging off her coat and kicking off her boots.

“I’m sorry… ‘bout her. She likes doin’ this, I swear. Always comes back talking about it. Just give her some time to warm up to you.”

Joel had this particular look on his face whenever he talked about that little girl. His dark eyes would soften and he’d push a hand through his graying hair, his thoughts seeming like they were somewhere else entirely from his surroundings. The most he ever said to you was about Ellie. Everything you knew about Joel was from Ellie, naturally.

He was from Texas. He was fairly older than you– you didn’t have much experience from when it was before the end of the fucking world. He sounded tightly wound. He could play the guitar, and he’d taught Ellie a few things. Once, she’d said that he only liked piano music if Billy Joel was playing it, whoever that was. That made you laugh.

You gave him a thin smile, crossing your arms over your chest to ward off the draft that was blowing through the open door. “I know. She’s a great kid, I can tell she wants to learn. I think it helps her– you know, keeping busy.”

Joel met your eyes for the first time since the conversation had started, something painful and poignant seeping into his expression.

“Yeah. I think so.” He was quiet for a few seconds before looking straight over you to grab Ellie’s attention. “I’ll be back in an hour. I’m down the street helpin’ Tommy with that old building. Be good,” he warned, before giving you a grateful nod and turning back.

And that was your routine. Joel was usually short with you, a little quiet, a little shy. You thought he was a sweet man– and a painfully attractive one at that. All southern and rough, broad shouldered, puppy-dog eyed. He seemed like he would do anything to keep that girl safe. You were glad the community had someone like him.

You had started teaching Ellie a few weeks after they had settled into Jackson. It was mostly because of Maria’s recommendation, who you were fairly close with. Ellie had hated taking lessons from you more vehemently in the beginning, but the more you worked at it, the more comfortable you saw her get.

“Come on, kid. This is good for your brain,” you would say, beckoning her to sit next to you on the piano bench.

She scoffed, but yet she obliged. “This is dumb. I could be doing something useful. Like shooting guns.”

“Art is as important, Ellie. More important than shooting guns. For you, anyway."

Her fingers tapped gingerly on the keys and she played a scale they had learned the week before. “How would you know? You aren’t even old,” she countered. “How long have you been playing?”

You glanced over at the clock. You two were wasting time, but at least she was talking. “My whole life, give or take. I tried to hold onto it whenever I could. It was my favorite thing in the entire world.”

She nodded, seeming to understand. “That’s cool. I get why Joel likes you.”

You didn’t think Joel was someone who particularly liked you. He didn’t dislike you, clearly, but if he had given any hints, they had been falling on deaf ears. You tried your best to keep your expression neutral. “And why’s that?”

She giggled to herself as she flipped through the pages of her sheet music booklet. “‘Cause you’re both fucking weird.”

You laughed too, punching her gently in the arm. “Fair. Now stop stalling and play me whatever you remember.”

Life was special nowadays. More precious than it ever had been. You would have to cherish moments like these. Loss was all around, and loving always risked the hurt. You were really, really fucking tired of hurting.

Walking back to your home, trudging through the snow, you were tired. Working in Jackson’s small clinic was easy enough, but it was draining. You saw to children mainly, bandaging up wounds and dosing out rations of antibiotics when needed. The kids liked you, the parents liked you, and that was rewarding, but plastering on a smile and a light-hearted tone all day sometimes felt like too fucking much.

So naturally, you were ready to pick a fight when you felt a broad hand consume your shoulder.

You turned around to match the disembodied hand to a face, only to see Joel Miller. He looked tired, more tired than you, and a little sad.

“Sorry, I wasn’t tryin’ to scare you. I saw you, and I…” He paused, looking down at the two sets of footprints that had outlined both of your paths. “Ellie isn’t feeling well. I think it’s best she skips y’alls lesson tomorrow.”

She released the breath she'd been holding. For some reason, he had the tendency to precede the things he said as if he was about to tell you that the world was ending. Again.

“That’s fine, don’t worry about it. Is she alright?”

“Yeah, she’s alright. This whole things a big fuckin’ adjustment, and I… I worry she’ll push herself too much if nobody stops her,” he explained. “She’s been with Maria all day. But yeah, she’ll be okay.”

Ah. He was worried about her. It seemed like he was always worrying about her. “I understand. Can’t imagine what it must be like for her. And you.”

She’ll push herself if nobody stops her. Who stopped Joel? Who looked out for him? His brother, surely, but was it like that? Did those two, hardened and stretched thin, have the time to be concerned about things like that? How long had he just been… going?

You reached a hand out to touch his upper arm, rubbing it a little before pulling away. “You’re a good man, Joel. I really think that, and I hope you know it.”

He laughed a little at that. “I haven't done any good, trust me on that.”

You dropped your gaze and looked away. You knew that everyone here, without a shadow of a doubt, had done things they weren’t proud of. Things they never would’ve done if not at the end of the world.

You were maybe 20 steps from your front door, standing out in the Wyoming cold with him. You tried to meet his eyes before speaking again, but he wouldn’t face you.

“Come in. Please, I insist. Warm up, I just traded for coffee.”

He looked like he was fighting with himself for a few seconds, raising his head and looking off to the side. “Yeah, alright. Why not.”

Joel Miller was sitting in your living room, sipping from a mug so carefully that you’d think he was afraid he’d break it. The fire was lit and casting warm shadows across the dim room. It was endearing. You hadn’t felt like this in a lifetime.

“I couldn’t do it. What you do. Dealing with all those kids,” he said after a long lapse of quiet.

You shrugged, sipping on your own cup. “I love it. I never thought I’d have the chance to play music again, much less teach. It’s not perfect, but it's something,” you said. “Ellie tells me you play guitar.”

Joel rolled his eyes and finally sunk back into his chair instead of hunching over. He groaned a little as he did it, as if he stored all of his tension in his back. “Yeah, used to. I ain’t good at it anymore.”

“But you used to be?” You pried.

He finally looked at you, his eyes infinitely more dark in this light. “Maybe. Don’t think I’d be able to forget how to play even if I tried, so might as well put it to some use.”

You smiled. “I know. Funny how things stick with you. Muscle memory.”

He nodded. “Somethin’ like that.”

And it was true. There were lots of things neither of you would forget how to do, no matter how much time had lapsed in between the before and the now. And sure, most of what you had learned happened after the world had ended, but that was irrelevant. The most important things had always been there. You’d known how to love for your entire life.

His eyes wandered over to the old upright piano situated on the wall in the living room. “Is she any good on that thing?” He asked.

You thought about Ellie, who would curse everytime she slipped on a scale, who would argue fervently about how that squiggly shit on the sheet music could possibly mean anything, who learned faster than any of your other kids.

“She is. She’s impressive. She picked up Old McDonald Had a Farm like that.” You grinned, snapping your fingers for effect.

He smiled thinly, his mind clearly somewhere else. “Explains why she won’t stop humming that shit. Thanks for that, by the way.”

“My pleasure, Joel.” You laughed. “You finished with that?” You gestured to his empty mug.

“Yeah. Hey, I’ll help you.”

You were elbow to elbow with each other at the sink, cleaning out the liquid and the scattered coffee grounds from the bottoms of your respective cups. Joel took yours and placed it on the drying rack, wiping his hands off with the towel you passed to him.

You leaned back against the island as he turned his back to the sink. He was so tall, so rugged, so handsome. His age only added to it. He had a softness around his eyes now, his features slightly obscured by the absence of much light.

“Should probably take off… Thank you. For the drink,” Joel began.

“Don’t thank me, I’d do it anytime. Tell Ellie that I hope she’s feeling better soon.”

He nodded, and he swallowed. He wasn’t making any moves to leave, save for his eyes on the door. They flicked back to you, watching you, scanning you up and down until he finally said,

“You’re gonna kill me, sweetheart, lookin’ at me like that.”

You weren’t really sure of how it all happened, but in an instant your bodies were pressed together with your lower back digging into the dull edge of the island counter, Joel’s lips pressed to yours like he was seeking oxygen.

His free hand felt up your body, and your skin was on fire. A match thrown onto a pool of gasoline. Everything was electric. He kissed you like he’d learned it in another life, back when love was free, when forever was a tangible thing, when strings weren’t attached. You felt it all on your lips and tongue, in the bonfire that was being fanned in your abdomen.

When he stepped back, you pulled him in for more. The opposite reaction to the Earth pulling down on you is you pulling the Earth back up. You tangled your hands in his soft hair, and his dug into the fabric of your jeans on your hips.

You both came up for air after a while, having migrated to the entrance of the kitchen. He had you backed up against the beam of the open doorway, tucking both sides of your hair behind you ear to see your face.

"Shouldn't be doing this," he mumbled, nipping at the warm skin on your neck.

"Maybe not," you conceded. I didn't mean you couldn't want it– what he could give you. You'd all done wrong things. "You could still stay."

"Yeah," he responded, pressing his body against yours and sweeping a hand over to cradle your lower back. "Still could."

Maybe it wasn't a lie. Maybe that glassy, far off look wouldn't be permanent. It could be like this. You could have a reason.

And yeah, maybe Joel knew more than he let on. Some things never really left him.

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pt2change · 9 months

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it’s definitely you ; kim taehyung

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre/warning: angst, sad oc, pinch of fluff, happy ending

a/n: hi! fyi if this seems familiar, i posted this before on here an a separate account before i deleted it. okay anyways continue :)

word count: 1k+

↣ bts masterlist

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

the bed felt unnaturally empty. you spent hours tossing and turning, trying so hard to get comfortable to sleep. and no matter how many times you closed your eyes, relaxed into your sheets, laying with no thoughts, your mind always came back to him.

you sighed and sat back up, running your hand through your hair. it was absolutely pointless to just continue lying there. and you couldn’t go back to sleep now that he has consumed your mind. you stood up and began pacing around the room.

but, everwhere you looked, there was photos of the two of you. on your dresser, the nightstand, you even kept a small photo of the two of you in your phone case. none of these pictures could fufill the ache you felt inside.

leaving the room wasn’t helpful, especially not when the living room and kitchen contained so many of his things. his favorite blue hoodie on the back of the couch, his growing collection of art supplies in the corner of the living room, the row of his different favorite drinks in the fridge. even the air in your apartment smelled of his cologne.

you put your head in your hands, struggling to keep yourself together. it has only been just little over a week since he left, and you were dying inside.

after a few seconds, you picked your head up, straightened your shoulders, and walked into your kitchen.

you decided to warm up a small cup of your favorite tea in hopes of being able to fall asleep. when your tea was ready, you walked into the living, taking small sips.

as you sat on the couch, you reminisced on the nights he did this for you when you weren’t feeling good and having trouble falling asleep.

you could feel his hands as they caressed your face smoothly and moved your hair away from your face.

you felt a lump in your throat and your eyes began to fill with tears. you set your glass of tea on the small coffee table, no longer having the stomach to finish it.

you curled up into the corner of the couch, grabbing his blue hoodie, and slipping it on. letting out a sigh, you layed on the couch.

you didn’t think it would be this hard to be away from taehyung, but the aching pain your chest grew more and more as the minutes and seconds passed.

but it wasn’t like taehyung wanted to leave. it was the quiet opposite actually, he had no choice.

if he didn’t go, it would’ve messed everything up.

and you knew that. but you weren’t selfish enough to be the one to stop him from achieving one of his dreams. all you ever wanted was for him to be happy.

but all you could think about was his voice, the way his arms wrapped around you, the gentle touch of his lips against your own.

you loved everything about him. absolutely everything.

and you wouldn’t be able to see him for a couple months.

your phone went off suddenly, and you quickly sat up to reach it. one glance at the name on the screen made your stomach feel so many butterflies, and you pressed the green button.

“hello?” you whispered, your voice almost shaking.

“hi y/n.”

and you felt tears slowly run down your cheeks, it had been so long since you heard his voice.

“hey, don’t cry.” taehyung said, his voice soft, hearing you sniffle through the other end. “baby, please don’t cry.”

“i’m sorry.” you stammered, “i just miss you s-so much.”

“i know, i miss you too.” taehyung replied with a tender voice, “but i’ll see you soon, i promise.”

you nodded, “okay.” you sniffled, holding back what you really wanted to say.

i miss you. i don’t want to be selfish, but i need you now. not in a few months. when are you coming home?

i love you.

you stayed on the phone, talking about other things for little over an hour. you said goodbye and hung up, without telling him how you felt and how much he means to you.

after all, you and taehyung hadn’t been dating for so long. and you’re terrified you’ll scare him away by telling him you love him.

but immediately after hanging up, you regretted not telling him. you couldn’t help but think that if something happens to him, he would never know just how much he meant to you.

working up the courage to tell him, you began to reach for your phone. but in that moment, the doorbell rang.

you sat up, confused. you couldn’t think of anyone who would show up at your door this late.

then, the doorbell rang again. scurrying to the small hall way closet, you got out a bat you kept as a precaution.

you approached the door, gripping the bat tightly in one hand. you unlocked your locks, turned the door knob, and opened the door.

not even a second later, the bat hit the floor, and began to roll away.

you were in complete shock, staring at the man in front of you in complete disbelief.

“hi baby.” he greeted you with his boxy smile.

you could feel the tears filling up in your eyes again. you leaped into taehyung’s arms, wrapping your arms around his neck, and his arms around your waist.

you clung onto him tightly, one hand on the back of his neck, and the other on the back of his head.

and he held onto you just as tightly, burying his face into your neck.

“i missed this too.” he quietly whispered into your ear.

you pulled back to look at him, a few tears rolling down your face. “how?”

“come on. did you really think i could stay away from you for that long?” he asked, leaning down pressing his forehead to yours with a smile.

and you felt such a wave of affection run through your body. and just as you opened your mouth, it wasn’t your own voice that you heard.

“i love you, y/n.”

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thatoneluckybee · 5 months

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School Bus Graveyard Episode 61 Thoughts

Okay thoughts time cause HU!HG?!?Q>?

The logo was altered!! Not by much but I love the detail that some falling rubble was covering the edges of the logo at the beginning of the episode.

Ben holding/protecting Tyler under the (table? desk?) is everything to me. Ben Clark is a golden retriever in all the best ways. I am dealing with the after effects of the Ben Fever we all got a few weeks ago.

Same goes for Taylor protecting Ashlyn! It’s so cute and Taylor has been coming in CLUTCH lately. I’m so excited for this development with her after Tyler’s injury. I just hope she’s able to target her (rightful) anger at the right people and not at the rest of the group. (Also ASHLYN CRYING BABY NO)

“Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?” Aiden, no, we do not, put your eyes back in please. (Also—I LOVE the shading and dramatic effects on this panel.)

Okay, the parents are DEFINITELY being affected by the rift and Phantom Dimension. Mike was dizzy when the kids all came back!! And I love how responsible both of Ashlyn’s parents (as well as everyone else so far) are being—Immediately jumping in to help when it sounds like someone is in trouble. I just hope this serves as a wake-up call for Aiden’s mom and dad.

We’ve seen Ashlyn scared before but… holy cow I don’t think she’s been pictured as this terrified before. And rightfully so! I want to give her a hug and a chocolate milk. Also, I adore how Logan immediately noticed and rushed to help. He’s really grown in his emotional maturity over the series and I’m loving the payoff.

Yes, honey, you are becoming phantoms. Is this confirmation of the theory? I’ll take it as confirmation of the theory.

…The parallels between the earlier panel of Tyler “waking up” vs Aiden now is…. oh my. And the altered text was DEEPLY disturbing. But I had to try not to laugh at imagining what he sounds like right now. Probably like he’s a 40 year old man who’s smoked a six-pack ev’ry night since way back when.

LILY BABY NooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and Aiden IMMEDIATELY being concerned about Ashlyn is everything. In all honestly the ship concerned me at the beginning but I am ALL ABOARD and ready to set sail now. They both have grown so much and while it would have been iffy at the start it’s becoming a really sweet and wholesome relationship, regardless of whether it stays platonic or divulges into romance.

The flashbacks were INSANE. But also, let’s take a moment seeing these to appreciate HOW MUCH THE ART HAS IMPROVED!!! Supersupersuper proud of Red and her entire team. This was like a short montage of the growth and I love that so much. Also…. could this potentially count as an “oh” moment for Ashlyn?? And the immediate jump afterwards to Aiden’s maybe-dead-maybe-not body was such incredibly timed and perfected formatted whiplash!!!!!

Ashlyn initiating the contact was huge for her. We know she isn’t a fan of touchy-feely stuff or close contact so this is big. I thing there was a “some people are worth being uncomfortable for” comic with the BTW and TBH creature that sums up my thoughts on this? But yeah, I loved this. She’s growing more comfortable AND this was entirely respectful of her boundaries while also allowing her to push past her comfort zone? Amazing.

”So this is what it feels like” uhhhhhhhh I need a seperate ramble post for this cause I don’t want to trigger tag this one and have it filtered but I have… a lot to say. Very relatable and makes me appreciate these characters more. I love how this whole short scene was pulled off though. Definitely a lot of emotions for this one, I had to pause for a moment to process.

“I don’t like how much she’s shaking” MY HEART

Aaaaand THANK YOU RED FOR ANOTHER AMAZING EPISODE!!! I’ve got so many longer thoughts and theories and ideas and rambels and AUGHHHHHHH I can’t fit them all!!!

#school bus graveyard #sbg #rambles #logan fields #ashlyn banner #aiden clark #ben clark #taylor hernandez #tyler hernandez #ashden #aidlyn

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cleolinda · 1 month

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Weekend links, March 24, 2024

My posts

Good news: We haven’t had a third Trespasser Incident. Bad news: There was a fuckin’ coyote staring my dog down from the driveway across the street last night. I won’t lie to you, there have been aggressive coyotes spotted in people’s yards around here, but not in my neighborhood before this, and also, I live in THE SUBURBS.

Worse news: I had a migraine so bad that I was hungover for two days. In fact, I’m having a hard time thinking straight even now. Apparently a ton of people had migraines around the middle of last week? I have no idea.

Meanwhile, I will be in the dentist’s chair for a few hours tomorrow. For half of that I’ll be staring at the ceiling waiting for the dentist to come back from some mysterious task, except that I won’t because I’ll be glued to the Hot Vintage Lady Polls: Round 2, starting tomorrow (3/25). Currently going: The Shadow Bracket, to see which fortunate souls get to escape. (I have filed this under “My posts,” but these are not my posts at all; they’re simply the reblogs I’m going to inflict on you, every single one.)

The point of my addition here is that there’s a wider culture war in the U.S., it’s all connected, and the KOSA bill is merely the online expression of that.

Reblogs of interest

A much quieter week since I wasn’t reblogging polls around the clock and also, I had a migraine:

New Hozier songs! And the one that’s charting is--light and fun and catchy, to the amazement of all. I mean, in context it’s still about going to hell, but you wouldn’t know that if someone didn’t tell you, and damnation just adds a little spice.

This post is nominally a link to “I’ve found the key to making everyone mad in Sea of Thieves,” but please read the second article, “Everyone hates my big stupid horse in Red Dead Online,” as well. You will regret nothing.

This is a good post about the difference between couture and haute couture, but honestly, I reblogged it for the last line.

I would say “tag yourself,” but everyone would choose Lady Page Turner

The imaginary Barbie Dream Sandworm smells like cinnamon. I can’t.

“Is Fox Mulder the most comically-brutalized protagonist in television history?”

I can tell you that this is a pressed flower collage of a comet moth and you will not believe me

Also unbelievable: art made in Microsoft Office applications

Honestly I hope we just keep talking about fairies and walruses forever

Video

One fear: Chocolate Guy

More sounds from the pallas cat

I played this bird singing a cookie song like 15 times in a row while I was stressed, and it helped.

The sacred texts

None this week.

Personal tag of the week

I’m not sure how I had two entire posts celebrating “cringe”/freedom of expression, but here we are.

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wonik1ss · 4 months

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Snow Girl — Sullyoon

pairing : non idol!sullyoon x reader

song rec : hits different - taylor swift & my love mine all mine - mitski

summary : on one stormy night you get trapped in a coffee shop with the only worker left

a/n : sorry for not posting this week school kept me busy!

NOT I REPEAT NOT PROOF READ

The door’s bells jingled and instantly Sullyoon regrets letting Kyujin put them up.

“Welcome to-“. As Sullyoon first set her eyes on you she slightly opened her eyes and stared in aw. Meanwhile you stated at the menu above her. The starstruck girl took that as an opportunity to look over your features. You were utterly gorgeous.

“Can I just get a chai tea please?”

“Hmm”. You chuckled as the taller girl got out of her daze.

“Chai tea please”. Sullyoon nodded and watched you put in your card, she actually conceded Kyujins idea of writing something in a customers coffee. You thanked the girl again and Sullyoon ran to the back to give the order to Kyujin.

“A chai tea and a chocolate croissant!”

“You the foods in the front right..?”. Bae asked as Sullyoon rolled her eyes. Kyujins eyes darted to the older girl as she ran over and grabbed the order.

“YES”. As Kyujin jumped around thinking of all the possibility’s of Sullyoons new crush Bae slowly back out the room.

“See you all tomorrow then..”.Kyujin waved and then pushed Sullyoon to the front.

“You make the drink and food I’ll tend to the cash register”. Sullyoon nodded and smiled at Kyujins little ‘fighting!’. Sullyoon reheated the croissant and started to make the coffee. She hadn’t written anything in a while. Not a lot of birthdays in the coldest months. So Sullyoon tried her best to not to mess up the coffee art. When she finnished she smiled and put the clear lead over the coffee.

“Y/n! Y/n for a chai tea and croissant!”. You ears perked up. When did you order a croissant. You walked over and as you were about to reject the croissant Sullyoons stopped you.

“On the house”. Unlike any other person Sullyoon didn’t need to wink or flirt. All she needed to do was show you her smile and you were hooked. You thanked her as you went back to the little corner in the coffee shop. Kyujin winked at Sullyoon and the rolled her eyes as a few frat boys walked up.

jin jin : THEY JUST ORDERED 34 DRINKS

sully : ?

jin jin : JAKE, NIKI AND THE RWST OF THE FUCK BOYS ORDERED 34 FUCKING DRINKS IM GONNA KILL MYSWLF

sully : It’s ok! I’ll do one half you do the other! There’s not a lot of customers so we should be fine

jin jin : he smiled at me that dancing monster smiled at me

sully : if his such a monster why the compliment?

jin jin : don’t make me mama you

Sullyoon laughed as the texted and sighed as she began to start the frat boys orders. After finishing and delivering 8 drinks Sullyoon looked over to Kyujin. The younger girl walked over to the boys with 8 more drinks. Niki thanked the girl before asking for something. Sullyoon swore she saw smoke come out of the girls ears as she stomped back to the counter.

“ten fucking cupcakes”

“What?”

“TEN FUCKING CUPCAKES”. Sullyoon tried to calm the girl down but it was to late. Kyujin went behind the counter and slid down.

“It’s ok I got this take a nap k?”. Kyujin nodded and slowly got up and ran to the back room. Sullyoon finnished the order and started to walk over to the boys.

“Here you go! I hope you have a great day!”.The girl bowed and Jake thanked her. But before she left her doe eyes turned to siren as she fixed her gaze onto Ni-ki.

“Kyujin has been working this job for three months to pay for her phone bill to prove something to her parents.. so if I see you come in here one my time with some ridiculously order.. I promise that you’ll leave a very very very changes person”. Sullyoon eyes the boys bags as her stared at the floor. Jay another one of the boys cackled. You laughed too.

Shit Sullyoon forgot you were there. You smiled at her and she blinked a bit before she smiled back. Later the boys left and now it was just you and Sullyoon. You studying with your AirPods in and Sullyoon doing her’s and sometimes glancing at you. Suddenly the lights went out. Then they came back on. Sullyoon looked up to the TV in the corner seeing a blizzard was in the making.

“Dammit!”. You looked up at the girl and she bit her lip and walked over to you.

“There’s a snow storm going on and as you can see this isn’t the safest place to be..”. Sullyoon pointed to the windows and you nodded.

“So you can come into the back with if you want..”. Sullyoon stared at the floor.

“Sure”. That wasn’t the answer Sullyoon was expecting but she would take it. As you walked to the back Sullyoon lead you to the second room. One bed, three lockers and a table that had stale bread on it. You chuckled.

“What?”

“Nothing.. I just never expected it to look like this back here”. Sullyoon tilted her head as she tried to turn the lights on.

“You’ve been here before?”

“Uh.. ya..”.You sat on the bed as Sullyoon gave up on the lights and search for a flashlight. You looked out the window to see nothing but snow. Then you looked at the tall deer like girl running around the room like a headless chicken trying to find a flash light.

“It’s over there..”

“Huh”

“The flash lights on the floor behind the door”. Sullyoon turned her head and sure enough you were right. Sullyoon closed the door and got the flashlight. You giggled.

“Is everything funny to you?”. Sullyoon teased as she sat criss cross on the bed facing you. You nodded before you squeezed your eyes shut and turned to face her.

“Ow!”

“Sorry”. Sullyoon laughed as she brought the light to her face instead of yours.

“So what we’re you studying for..?”. Sullyoons ears perked up.

“Chemistry.. I got a big test next week think I’m gonna fail..”

“Aw why?”

“My friend Kyujin always messes with me during class so I rarely take notes”. You laughed. What a pretty laugh Sullyoon thought.

“Who do you have?”

“I doubt we go to the same school but Mrs. Yang but I guess he’s Mrs. Kim since she married Mr. Kim”

“I have Mrs. Kim too! I can give the notes to you”. Sullyoon tried to say no but couldn’t while looking at your face. You both went on to talk about school and your life’s. While Sullyoon was talking she glanced over to you and saw you shivering.

“Are you cold?”

“No.. I’m fi-“. Sullyoon tossed her hello kitty blanket she hid in her locker on top of your head.

“We have a test next week we can’t have you getting sick”. You smiled and then wrapped the blanket around Sullyoon too.

“Can’t have you getting sick either..”

This made the two of you close. Like probably two inches away from each other faces. Sullyoon glanced at your lips twice.

“What do I have a pretty smile or something?”. Sullyoon bit her lip as she stared at the floor.

“No.. I mean yes but like no.. like not in a i like you way but like I do but I don’t.. I mean I guess-“. You stopped Sullyoon from her rant by kissing her cheek.

“I would have gone for your lips but I didn’t know if you would sa-“. Sullyoon grabbed your face and kissed you. You put your hands on her waist. Sullyoon couldn’t believe it. In the same 24 hour period she was kissing one of her crushes! As the kiss continued Sullyoon caressed your cheeks before you pulled away. Sullyoon pouted.

“Sorry my lips got sour..”.Sullyoon laughed and you soon joined in after. Sullyoon gulped. She pulled out her phone and opened the phone app, pointing it to you.

“A lot of people say you should go on a date before you kiss someone but since we kissed already I think we have to go on a date now”. You blushed. smooth Sullyoon Kyujin would be proud… WAIT SHIT KYUJIN!

The door slammed open and a sleepy psycho Kyujin stepped in.

“DID WE FALL INTO THE RABBIT HOLE TO NARNIA?”. The girl stopped looking crazy when she finally addressed the situation. Sullyoon her baby.. you her crush.. on a bed… her friends lips swollen.

“AHHH I DID IT YOU FINALLY DID IT!”. Kyujin jumped to hug Kyujin and you giggled at the stunned Sullyoon.

“Ya I was just about to get her num-“

“I put it in”. Sullyoon didn’t get to blink as the lights turned on.

“YES I CAN LEAVE!”. Kyujin ran out of the room and presumably out of the cafe too. You both laughed for what? The sixteenth time as you both got your things too. As Sullyoon took of her apron she saw in the corner of her eye you smiling.

“What happened”. Sullyoon peaked over your shoulder to see her heart with the words ‘snow girl’ in the middle. Sullyoon cringed but she soon stopped as you pecked her cheek again.

“I can make another one if that’s your form of payment”. You laughed and punched her shoulder lightly.

“Check my name in your contacts”. Sullyoon raised and eyebrow and opened her phone.

Snow Girl

#kpop fanfic #kpop #kpop idol x reader #kpop imagines #kpopidol #kpop gg #kpop smau #kpop girls #reader x idol #reader insert

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mamaspresley · 2 years

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to find a cure | austinbutler

summary in which austin tries to find himself in the art of pottery, and instead, finds you wc 3,932 tw mentions of depression

note : aaa i saw the request @scrambled-eggs-y posted about this and i could not stop obsessing so i decided to write on the idea as well. go check out their fic, it’s linked here , it is phenomenal <<33 i hope u guys enjoy my rendition of pottery!austin !!

It was amazing, how much stress he lived under every day for two years. Shooting Elvis was nothing short of a dream, one that Austin would be forever grateful for, but it wasn’t as pleasant as his mind had made it out to be at the beginning. The past two years had been so strenuous, so draining on him from the long hours and the consistent studying and learning of his role. It had taken a seriously heavy mental toll on the boy and it wasn’t until he was bedridden in a hospital in Queensland that Austin realized how serious it was.

He got many texts and calls from friends and family, wishing him well and hoping that he would get better soon. He was admitted for a week, so by the time he returned home to LA he was feeling a lot better, physically. But there was still a pressure weighing down on him emotionally, and Austin wasn’t sure if treatments and doctors would help him this time.

That feeling never truly went away— not for a long time, at least. It was almost a full year since he finished filming Elvis, and he’d tried to cope with his depression by throwing himself into his other projects, into his friends and family. He never took the time to work on himself, so when he was between jobs and had nothing to do but be by himself, he was miserable. And that was just the case in the early months of 2022.

“You should try getting into art, or something,” a friend suggested to him. Austin had gone to one of his closest friends, Ashley Tisdale, for help, finally admitting defeat after a year of living with this unhealthy mindset. “You know, I heard painting is really therapeutic. Maybe you could try that? Or I heard about this new pottery class downtown. That could be nice.”

Since the wrap on Elvis, Austin had reached a level of depression he’d never even known was possible. It could easily be described as imposter syndrome — he didn’t know who he was, who was living in his body, taking over his soul. He felt lost within himself, like he wasn’t Austin every morning he’d wake up. For nearly three years of his life he dedicated every conscious moment to becoming Elvis Presley, so having to adapt back to his old ways — his own ways — felt impossible. Elvis was all he knew for such an extended period of his life… It made sense that Austin had lost his own individuality in that process.

But trying art as therapy? Austin almost laughed at that — sure, he was an actor, but he wasn’t big into the arts, like sculpting or painting. “Ashley, you know damn well I can barely even draw a stickman.”

“You don’t have to be good!” she assured him. “Just try it. I’ll go with you, if you want.”

It was about a week after that conversation when Austin called her up, swallowing his pride and asking if she would stay true to her word and accompany him. “You mentioned somethin’ ’bout a pottery class? I’ve never tried pottery… let’s do that.” It took a lot of strength to pull himself out of bed every morning. But Austin was big on trying new things — it was something that made him feel excited, encouraged him to step out of his comfort zone, and since filming Elvis he hadn’t found anything that made him feel like that again. So he felt good about this; he felt good about getting out of the house — and that surprised him more than anything.

“I’m happy you wanted to do this,” Ashley said, smiling at the boy from the passenger seat of his car as Austin backed into a parking stall just a few blocks from the building she directed him to. “It’s good, seeing you out and about again. I was getting worried for a bit there.”

“Yeah,” he said, putting the car in park and shutting off the engine as he looked over at his friend. “Me, too. But I think this will be fun.”

They both got out of the car, walking across the parking lot. “I have a feeling you’re gonna suck at this,” Ashley teased, and Austin rolled his eyes as he slung an arm over her shoulder.

“You’ve got just as much experience as me at this pottery thing, so you can’t say shit if I’m terrible.” He smiled. Ashley was someone who Austin held very close to his heart, and he had for a long time. She was truly the only person he trusted enough to go to if he was struggling, and this just proved his theory. She was his best friend, nothing more than that, and it made Austin happy knowing that he had such a good support network in times of need.

He held the door open for her as they walked in and Ashley found the two of them seats near the back of the room. There were a few other people taking the class, some looked more experienced than others, but Austin didn’t feel nervous at all. He was excited— he loved trying new things, even if he had no clue what he was doing. He couldn’t even guess what half of the instruments in front of him were used for, and it was comical how confused Ashley looked beside him. They were both screwed — so what else could they do but laugh about it?

They put on the smocks hanging near the side of the room, after realizing everyone else was wearing them, and Austin rolled the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows as he sat down at his station.

“Okay, I think we can start.” The voice came from you, standing at the front of the room in a pair of light washed jeans and a tank top. You were tying a white smock around yourself, which had paint splatters and stains all over, and you had your hair tied up messily but somehow it looked perfect, within the imperfectness. You had soft features, a kind smile, and Austin genuinely believed that you were the prettiest girl he’d ever laid his eyes on.

“Is she… is she the instructor?” He leaned over to Ashley, his gaze never falling off of you.

“I think so.” Ashley looked over at Austin, who was too busy gawking at you to notice that his friend was watching him. Ashley grinned ear to ear at her realization, seeing the way his tongue darted out to wet his lips, his eyes seemingly sparkling at his admiration over you, a total stranger. “Oh my God.”

“What?” He snapped out of his trance, looking over at Ashley like nothing had happened.

“You think she’s cute.” At her words, Austin felt himself blushing. And he was quick to defend himself, stumbling over his words and the heat in his cheeks only made it worse. At his nervousness, Ashley laughed. “You totally do! Oh, this is adorable.”

“Would you shut up?”

“Okay, first things first, who here has experimented with pottery before?” You, who Austin was marvelling over seconds before, were now drawing the attention of the class, taking a seat at the station in front of you. A few people around you raised their hands, but Austin and Ashley kept to themselves. “So the rest of you have no clue what you’re doing, then?”

Everyone laughed, but Austin was too distracted, unable to tear his eyes away from you. You were enchanting, your skin glowy and your eyes so soft and kind, as well as your smile. He couldn’t get over how adorable you looked — you were the human embodiment of the word sweet. “Well that’s all right. You’ll figure it out with the rest of us. So the first thing we’re gonna do is wet our hands and prepare our clay on the wheel.”

The class went by quicker than Austin expected, and for the whole hour he figured he’d only spent a total of two minutes not looking at you. You were ethereal, encouraging a feeling in Austin that he hadn’t experienced in a long time, and that was why when they were cleaning up at the end of the lesson, Austin turned to Ashley and asked if she wanted to attend next week’s class with him, as well.

“Yeah, sure.” And that’s how Austin ended up as one of the class’s regular students, and by a month in, not only was Austin’s adoration for you growing, but he was actually becoming pretty good at the whole pottery thing.

Currently he was attending a class without Ashley — she couldn’t find a babysitter for the night, and Austin assured her it was fine. He didn’t mind going alone, he quite enjoyed spending time by himself, and if he was being honest, he’d been trying to work up the courage for a while now to talk to you. Ashley continually teased him about it, and though he knew it was lighthearted, Austin really did like you. He wanted to talk to you, not just in passing or when you asked if he was doing okay with the lesson. He craved a real conversation, much like he’d been dreaming about since the day he saw you. Every night of his was spent excitedly going to bed, so he could fall asleep and make contact with the girl that mainly existed inside of his head. He’d never been so in love with the idea of someone before, and Austin was getting tired of only meeting you in his dreams.

Austin was excited for this week’s class, a little bit more than all the others. He’d been planning to finally strike up a conversation with you, and once the day came, he couldn’t wait.

So he showed up early. Only by a few minutes, but being in the vicinity helped ease his nerves a bit. It was funny, really, the contrast between the man he was now versus how holed up he had been only two months before. A pottery class, something that Austin never would’ve guessed he’d be frequently attending, was what saved him. A depressing spiral he was previously caught in, something that seemed would never come to an end, was easily prevented by a simple suggestion from a friend, something as silly as an art class. And now, he was working up the courage to ask out a girl, something he hadn’t even thought of since the beginning of his past relationship of nine years. He never really advanced towards a new one after their split two years before, never felt the need to nor did he meet anyone that he fancied, until laying eyes on you. It felt like love at first sight, and Austin was smart enough to realize that this was a feeling he didn’t want to let escape him just because he was a little scared.

The class started as it always did, with you welcoming the new students and saying hello to the returning ones. Today they were making vases, straying from the usual path of simple things like bowls or cups. The style that you wanted the class to try was a bit more advanced, with a slight curve and a weird shape to it. Austin was excited to try out his newfound skill, but the more he thought about it, he realized he would probably do anything you asked, realistically. It was humorous to him, how quickly he’d fallen for you when he didn’t know a single thing about you. Aside from your love for pottery, of course. That was something he found himself pondering a lot of the time when he dreamt of you — you were artistic, which was a trait that Austin loved. That meant you appreciated the beauty in things, you were creative and were such a kind, warm-hearted person. And this was just from what he gathered from the way you taught the class. There was so much more he was dying to know about you.

About halfway through the class, you asked, “Okay, and how’s everyone doing?” You were walking the length of the room, peering in on certain people’s creations. Austin was working absentmindedly, his focus being more on you standing only a few feet away, admiring one of the older lady’s work. “Margaret, this is beautiful. I love the way you put your own spin on this.” And I love the way every single word sounds falling from your lips, he thought.

It was only a few minutes later before you came behind Austin, and he was momentarily embarrassed by the way his heart picked up so quickly at your presence. “This looks good,” you said, moving to stand beside him with your arms crossed. Austin watched as you chewed on your lower lip, eyes clouding over with thought before you bent down. “I feel like you might wanna add a bit more of a curve, though.” You placed your hand over his lightly, applying a slight pressure that caused Austin’s stomach to twist. By the speed at which his heart was racing, he was sure it was lethal. “There we go. Good job.”

You were gone as quick as you came and Austin focused the next few minutes on recuperating himself. It was child-like, the way you made him feel, the undeniable crush he had on you. But no matter how on-edge and starstruck he felt when you were around, he begged for the feeling back.

It wasn’t long until the class was finishing up and they were putting their creations on the back shelf. Austin rinsed his hands off, drying them on his smock while he gave himself what seemed like the most important pep talk in the world. Just talk to her, he told himself, his eyes watching you as you cleaned up your station. She’s just a person. She’s not scary. Nothing can go wrong if you just say hi.

Taking a deep breath, Austin made his way over. He owed this to himself.

Nervously, Austin lifted the smock up and over his head, folding it once over before hanging it up. Then he turned on his heel, looking directly at you. “Hi,” he said. What the fuck was that?

“Hi! Austin, right?”

God, you were so kind. The smile on your lips, forming perfectly on your face. It was as if the act of smiling was meant solely for you; you had perfected the art. Your eyes stared up at him like he was the only person in the world you cared to talk to. Austin’s heart thudded in his chest. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. I’m Austin.” Shut up, shut up— but say something! “I just, uh, figured it’d be nice to talk to you when you’re not teaching me how to make clay into a bowl.” What the fuck was that?— for a second time!

“You know, that is my speciality,” you said with a laugh, and Austin found himself smiling way too much for the simple small talk the two of you exchanged.

“Well you’re really good at it.”

“Thank you, Austin.” He loved the way his name sounded when you said it. Thankfully, you continued talking, saving him momentarily from having to come up with something. “You’re getting pretty good, too! I noticed you’re coming every week. Usually your girlfriend is with you— where is she tonight?”

Girlfriend? “Girlfriend?”

“The woman you always come with.”

Oh! Ashley. “Oh! Ashley. She’s—she’s not my girlfriend.” His cheeks were heating up and Austin prayed that the nervousness he felt wasn’t transferring onto his expression. “Just a close friend. She got me out of the house for the class.”

“Well that’s good,” you smiled, and Austin crossed his arms as he smiled back. “I’m glad you continue to come. So you’re single then?”

What? “What?” That was a quick jump.

“Usually I find that a lot of the people that come to these classes are married couples.” You were speaking while continuing to clean up now, and Austin helped you as best he could. “Pottery can be a very romantic thing, so it’s not unusual to bring your significant other to a class. You should bring them, you know, if you have a partner.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh.” You were speaking almost absentmindedly as you shoved things into drawers, wiping up the counter space. You kneeled down to grab a few paint brushes that had fallen to the ground before pausing, looking up at Austin. “This is gonna sound so weird, but I really feel like I’ve seen you before.”

Austin chuckled small, his hand moving to his jaw, his fingers playing with his lips, “I get that a lot.” You looked on at him, waiting for an answer. “I hate saying this because it makes me feel like just the biggest douchebag.” You laughed, and the sound was so pretty coming from your lips he had to answer. Maybe he could impress you. “I’m an actor.”

You snapped your fingers as soon as he said it, and Austin laughed. “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood! Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t clue in.” You stood up, and it was then that Austin became aware of the drastic height difference. You were a lot shorter than him, which he adored, and he couldn’t tell if the glimmer in your eyes was from the sudden change in conversation or if it was just a look you always had. “I’ve lived in LA for so long but it’s always surprising to me when I meet famous people.”

“I could say the same about people calling me famous,” he joked, and you smiled at him genuinely.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know it was you. But then again, you’re almost unrecognizable in that role. I loved that movie — Quentin Tarantino is one of my favourite directors. And for him to dip into the Charles Manson story, I just… that was such a great film. I loved Brad’s character, he was so complex and, like, the whole bit about Charlie’s deciples, I mean…” You rambled on about the film, hardly mentioning anything about Austin’s role, which was definitely something he noticed but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He loved that you didn’t talk about him at all, actually, and instead enjoyed hearing your thoughts on the film itself. “Quentin had such a good take on Once Upon a Time, Leo’s whole bit and how he tied Sharon Tate into it… I can’t imagine anyone else telling the story in a different way than he did. But I mean, he’s always—” You’d been going on for maybe about three minutes before realizing Austin hadn’t even gotten a word out, and your cheeks instantly turned a slight shade of pink. “I’m sorry.”

Austin was smiling, chuckling as he stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the counter behind him.

“I can’t believe I just went on for, like, ten minutes about a movie you’re literally in. Like you didn’t know anything I just said. Oh my god.” You were rambling again, and Austin found it charming. “This probably happens to you all the time. I’m so sorry. This is embarrassing.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Austin reassured you, and you looked up at him as if to say, you sure? “I love hearing people’s thoughts on the film. It’s one of my favourite movies, too. I’m a huge fan of Quentin’s work, so I understand. I mean, I was completely fangirling the whole time over him.”

Your cheeks were pinkish, and you smiled small. An awkward silence settled over the two of you and it was almost thirty seconds before you spoke up again. “You know, next class I’m thinking of trying mugs.”

“Like coffee mugs?”

“Mhm,” you nodded. “They’re a bit difficult, though.” Austin licked his lips as he listened to you speak, and the way your eyes flickered down to his mouth didn’t go unnoticed. “The, uh, the handles are the tricky part.”

He hummed, meeting your eyes when you looked back up to them. You gulped silently, lips curling into one another as you pressed them into a thin line. He couldn’t be making up the tension between the two of you.

“Will you be here next week?” you asked, shifting back and forth between the balls of your feet and your heels as you waited for an answer. Austin nodded, and the softest smile grew across your cheeks. “Okay. Then I guess we will be making mugs.”

“I’d say I’d better come prepared, but I don’t really have the facilities to practice at home.” Austin didn’t know what he was hinting at, but it was something. And thankfully, you caught on.

“I teach other classes so, um, maybe you would wanna drop in at some point this week and use the wheels here?”

“You’d let me?” He was grateful that you had offered, because if he was being honest, Austin had no clue where he was going with the rest of the conversation. It made him feel a lot better knowing that this wasn’t just his idea, but that you wanted to see him, as well.

“I don’t see why not. If it’s strictly for practice, that is.” You gave him what seemed to mirror a firm look, and Austin smiled at your playful seriousness.

“Of course.”

“Okay. Then drop by any time,” you said, stepping back slightly as you grabbed your jacket off the back shelf. When you spoke, you glanced back at him over your shoulder, making eye contact the whole time. “I teach classes on Thursday from five until nine pm, if that’s not too late for you.”

“Nine is perfect. Let me walk you out.”

After grabbing his things, the two of you exited the building. Austin held the door open for you like a gentleman, reaching above your head to push it open from behind, and you thanked him once you stepped out. He watched as you took out your keys to lock the door of the shop, Austin stuffing his hands in his pockets while he waited.

“Where’s your car?” he asked.

“Just up here on the left,” you answered, and Austin walked you to your vehicle. Once you arrived at the small sedan, which beeped from the unlocking of the doors, you looked up at him with a smile. “Thank you for walking me out.”

“Oh, don’t thank me for that. Common courtesy.” He gave you a smile.

“I’ll see you on Thursday?” you confirmed, and Austin nodded, reaching over to open your door for you.

“See you on Thursday.”

Smiling, you silently thanked him before ducking into your car, and Austin closed the door for you. He crossed the street to his own vehicle, watching as you drove away in yours, and the warm feeling that enclosed his heart wasn’t something he was afraid of, but something he embraced.

The past year was harder for Austin than any other time in his life. Depression was something he combated on a daily basis now and it was extremely difficult for him to move past that feeling of being lost within himself. But there was something about taking this class that made it just a little bit easier for Austin to climb out of the hole he’d been stuck in for so long. And now, after speaking to you for maybe ten minutes, he realized it was you. You were the cure that he needed to this awful sickness he’d fallen ill to, and he was finally starting to feel a little bit better. It’d been years since he felt that, better, but finally he did. And it was all thanks to you.

➳ @satninbeaulieu @suspiciousbutler @sagesolsticewrites @shimmeringlights44 @butlersbitxh @floralcyanide @sassy-ahsoka-tano @austin-butlers-gf @butlersbabe @dontbesussis @x-earthangel @anangelwhodidntfall @she-is-juniper @butler-on-beale-street @iloveaustinbutler @http-sponge @theliterarybeldam @melodydior @dances-and-dolly-dresses @mommy-maia @alligator-person @elvisabutler @scarlet-knight @austiebutbut @80s-outsiders @a-bolanos @sweetheartlizzie07 @ghxst-heart @matchaluvr123 @emilykolchivans

part two is here!

#austin butler #austin butler fic #austin butler imagine #austin butler one shot #austin butler x reader #austin butler smut #austin butler fan fiction #elvis 2022 #elvis movie #austin butler fanfic #elvis presley #mamaspresley #jackie writes

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constellationguy · 1 month

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That Radio Show

Summary: In the absence of the radio demon listeners of hell find a new broadcast to enjoy.

Chapter three

Chapter one: The New Voice On the Air

Every child dreams to be famous when they grow up, you were no different. When you were younger you wanted nothing more than to have your voice heard from all corners of the globe, to be heard on every radio station, to have your voice ring in the ears of millions of people. You took countless vocal lessons as a kid to prepare you for audition after audition, however very little came from it. Until in high school, you landed a job with your local radio station and fell in love with the art form. You worked almost full time despite school work piling up, the high of being live on air was worth barely passing a class or two. You did school work while music played on air when you weren’t speaking, it was the best job in the world in your book and you wouldn’t trade it for anything. Eventually you took over the station after you graduated, working from 5:30am to 6:00 in the afternoon on most days, but night shifts always had the best callers and the warmest ambiance. You pored your heart and soul into your work until you died in a freak hunting accident in 2017.

When you arrived in hell you had dear like qualities, “I guess getting shot like game turned you into game in the after life” you thought looking at your new doe like features. Being new to hell was such an uncomfortable feeling, however you tried to get yourself in your feet as soon as possible. You spent about half a year working in a tailor shop getting yourself a house and a phone. Once you got enough money you finally got yourself an office and radio equipment to start broadcasting within the month. To advertise the radio station you made a hellstagram account just simply named “That Radio Show”. Your bio stated “That Radio Show will be making its debut on station 66.62 fm on the air in 2 weeks time at 5:30am on XX,XX, 2017! Be sure to tune in and maybe give us a call while on the air to chat at (666)-xxx-xxxx or send us mail to read on the air at xxxxx PO Box. Can’t wait to be on the air!”. You made posts advertising your debut, and asking your followers about ideas what to name your new radio show, and of course song suggestions. To your surprise your account went viral and got millions of followers in just a few days, your dms and comments filled with suggestions and surprisingly sweet comments with very little backlash. So when you debuted at 5:30am you had thousands of listeners tune in. Just as 5:30am graced hells residents, a sweet piano piece started to echo through the streets of hell. You lowered the volume just slightly hoping it would give just enough ambiance to your broadcast before speaking.

“Good morning residents of hell.” you said cautious of the volume of your voice.

“It is currently 5:30am in Pentagram City and for many it is time to start the day. As some of you may know this is the debut broadcast of That Radio Show!” You said excitedly.

“So please be sure to check out That Radio Show on hellstagram to send in song suggestions. As this is my first day on the air I hope my dear listeners can treat me with some grace” you hummed.

“Well, I’ll let those of you who got woken up by me go back to sleep and those waking up in peace for a bit, here is “I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire” by The Ink Spots”.

You then muted yourself before fading the piano music and changing it to the song. You let out a breath you didn’t know you held and smiled into your microphone. You spent about two hours introducing the next song in the broadcast order before you got your first call.

“That was “Let’s Do It” by Ella Fitzgerald. Such a sweet song this early in the morning don’t you think? Well-“ you were caught off guard by the phone ringing.

“It seems we have our first caller,” you answered the phone.

“Hello dear you’re on the air!”

“Oh darling!” a southern voice called through the phone.

“Your voice is just velvet to the ears of all of us in Cannibale Town, we are loving you down here darling! Keep up the tunes and let that voice shine.”

“Aw thank you dear,” you cooed into the microphone, “Such high praises on debut day, but nonetheless it is well appreciated.” Listeners could hear the smile in your voice and boy did it pull heart strings.

“Well of course darling, can’t let a beautiful voice go un-complemented, you have a good day now.” The lady said into the phone. “You too, Miss.” You exhaled, chuckling a bit, a smile evident in your tone.

“How sweet that was, ha, well it is currently 8:00am in Pentagram City and the weather is perfect for a morning walk. I hope you can take that opportunity and start your morning off right. This is “Je Te Leaisserai Des Mots” by Patrick Watson, hope you enjoy.” Once you muted yourself you practically squealed in joy with the blatant success of the radio show. Your hellstagram was full of comments praising your voice and pick if songs. The overwhelming support uncommon in hell was shocking and such a surprise, a welcome one though. You got a few more calls throughout the day, only one of them being rude and chastising radio for being an out of date media and flirting with you brazenly on the air.

“Oh that’s no way to speak to a lady, let alone live on air,” you cooed feigning innocence. You sent a devastatingly loud electroshock through the line and your callers line went dead as he fell to the floor.

“Oh dear it seems he hung up,” you chuckled “well- no matter, just remember dear listeners don’t be brazen and you won’t get shocked,” you said with edge in your voice. “Well, this is “Viola Sonata: 1. Largo” composed by Andrei Volkonsky.” You said giving out a light satisfying sigh. As the song closed your voice again rang in the heads of your listeners, “Well doesn’t that piece just tear at your terrible heart strings, such an erre sounding piece. How about something a bit lighter, this is “Bella Belle” by the Electric Swing Circus, hopefully a good dance will shake off any lingering weariness and tension, tune in and dance along, here’s Bella Belle”.

The rest of your day was rather uneventful.

“Well dear listeners, it is 6pm and my time on air is sadly up, don’t worry though. If you stay tuned into this station you’ll still hear music that I lined up to play until I get back tomorrow at 5:30am. Have a lovely evening sinners, I hope you all can tune in tomorrow.” You finally muted yourself for the last time today and leaded back into your chair sighing satisfied. You missed this feeling when you died. Well, no longer would you miss this feeling, you thought as you grab your things and left your office. Just as you locked up the owner of the building spawned behind you.

“SHIT-“ you yelled jumping and dropping your things.

“Such a jumpy thing you are,” the man teased to your annoyance. “You made a rise out of hell today toots, all the old souls have been craving a new voice to cling to after that old shit up and disappeared.” This man was just trying to get a rise out of you at this point but you indulged him, wouldn’t want to get kicked out of your office, he owned the building after all.

“Cut to the chase, what do you want,” you said shortly electricity dripping off your tongue.

“Oh I thought deer were jumpy and scarred things, never thought one would bite back so violently.” He said, voice full of tease and annoyance.

“Unless you are here to tell me about the this “old shit” of a senior I apparently have I would like to leave,” you said pushed through him going down the stair well.

“No need to be a bitch toots,” he called after you. You let it go for now, a little insults in exchange for a bit of information was a fair trade in your opinion.

After fixing yourself a meal you looked up your supposed senior, from what you could tell that “old shit” the building owner was talking about was the Radio Demon. He disappeared this year, a terrifying demon just up and left the public eye. From what you found online he was an overlord and a powerful one at that. He used is radio show is display his power, so this is what you were needed to live up to. Odd.

Chapter two: In the Eyes of the Public

With the radio demon’s disappearance there is less competition, you thought, though that’s a big role to fill for the public. No matter, you thought, you’ll learn to manage, he’ll be back soon… probably….

Everyday your influence on hell’s population grew, listening to your opinions and snide comments, hells older population absolutely fell in love with you. The younger population wasn’t to fond of radio as you were but, to each their own, as long as they keep their complaints between each other and not on your broadcast. As the months past the public grew fonder of you in the radio demons absence, you worry for his return but as months turn into years you worried less and less about him coming after you.

Well into your first year broadcasting you made a slip up that you somehow ended up in your favor.

“Good evening my dear listeners, it is currently 3:30pm in Pentagram City and this lovely winter has graced our dear city and lulled us into a somber mood. I can’t deny that I am not feeling it too so todays music is definitely in the feels today, here is “I’ll Never Smile Again” by Tommy Dorsey” you lowered a dial and muted yourself before sitting back and singing along to the music. Little did you know you turned down the songs volume and muted the piano you had playing in the background, not yourself. So as you listened to the light music and sang along to the sad tune all of hell could hear your voice. Many of your regular listeners simply enjoyed the show while newer listeners decided to record the song and it spread like wildfire, to your embarrassment.

You tried gloss over your mistake however hell seemed to love this little mishap and blew it way out of proportion. Soon enough your dear listeners began calling you “the princess of radio”. As much as you didn’t like the name at first, terrified for when the radio demon came back, it stuck and there was nothing you could do about it.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction

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dreadnotau · 3 months

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Happy three years everybody! As always, there’s a lot to say on the occasion, so pop in at the end of the post for the tl;dr if you don’t have time for my detailed diatribes, haha

Boy, time flies, huh? Feels like the second anniversary was just yesterday, but maybe that’s just the several long hiatuses getting to me. I’ve been scarce on uploading anything anywhere for a while now, even though I promised I’d actually pick up the slack this time around. What gives? Well…

For one, college hell, and for two, a lot of unfounded anxiety about putting my art out there. Allow me some theatrics for a moment and I’ll actually get back to the comic at hand… I’ve never had an exceptionally supportive environment for making art. It wasn’t suppressive, not in the slightest, but it also wasn’t… encouraging. It was always treated as a hobby or a distraction rather than something I was allowed to be fully proud of, especially because a lot of my art focused on more cartoon-y and fantasy ideas, rather than still life studies and painting (which people generally outside of the art sphere tend to value more, arbitrarily). Couple that with a childhood full of being bullied over minute shit you hadn’t even considered could be an issue before, and you get a teenager hellbent on never sharing his interests or ideas with anyone, mostly due to the fear of rejection.

I’ve grown, thankfully, but that paranoia and fear doesn’t go away overnight. As I’m sure you all know, Meowchela was the one who originally encouraged me to post this comic, and the only reason she succeeded was because she was the first person in a long time who listened and engaged with my interests and my art in a meaningful way. It’s kind of obvious her friendship had a profound impact on me, and I’d cite her as one of the reasons I was even hopeful enough to apply to an art college in the first place! This comic, and that bond with another person, proved that maybe these things I’m so passionate about weren’t duds, and weren’t something I had to keep to myself.

So, fast forward a few years. About three years, in fact.

During one of my classes, right before this hellish two weeks of exams started, one of the class assistants talked me into showing my comic pages to one of my professors. He’s generally a pretty open guy when it comes to new mediums, but I’m always… apprehensive about showing my less “traditional art”-y things to professors, but, he ended up being genuinely proud of it. Specifically, I showed him pages 85-87 (because they’re my favourites) and, he didn’t read the text, just the visuals were enough for him to say “good job, keep it up” (which is HIGH praise from that guy). When I mentioned I’ve been meaning to simplify the visuals because I didn’t have time to work on the comic very often because of college and classes, he dismissed it on principle. I was honestly caught off guard. Heavily paraphrasing, he suggested that worsening the visuals for an arbitrary deadline was counterproductive to making something that’s Good™.

That’s kinda stuck with me. For a good few years now I was more focused on optimisation rather than visual improvement for the comic, and though it HAS contributed to better visuals in some ways (cutting corners sometimes makes for a less pointy and jagged end result), it’s kind of weird I’m treating an art project that way, isn’t it? I set a lot of… arbitrary deadlines and standards for myself, in the form of expectations and what I “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing at certain stages in my life. I’ve thought of Dread Not as a passion project second and a stepping stone first, if I’m being honest. As if it was too… fandom-y and derivative to be treated with more gravity than that, like it’s an immature project because I was still a child when I came up with it. As if it was something I’m making to Build Up to Something Else, something Bigger and Cooler and More Important, and… the more I think about the future of Dread Not, and even my future career options, the more I realised that’s, ironically, a really immature way to think about it.

If there’s one thing going to this art college has taught me, is that there’s no “right” way to make art, and there’s no “right” way to success as an artist. There’s no clear-cut paths, just more commonly treaded roads, but even those are heavily overgrown. Why should I try to box myself into thinking I have to make things from complete scratch to be taken seriously? What’s so bad about Dread Not as a story and as a comic that’s caused me to vaguely keep it under wraps when conversing with people in my day-to-day life? Why wouldn’t I put all these skills I’ve acquired to improve and expand this project that’s Right There, WAITING for me to finally get off my ass and get pages out there again?

I wish I could say I’ve used all this time away in a particularly clever way, but I really haven’t - at least, it feels like I haven’t. My art has undoubtedly improved over time (though admittedly the art for this post was Very rushed, fuckin exams), and while I’ve been working on projects in the background, chipping away at them in a VERY disorganised way, I haven’t been posting that progress anywhere, and I haven’t made any good progress on my biggest project, Dread Not, because of the other ones. And, honestly? Admitting that kinda stings. This comic means a lot to me, and I wish I actually gave it the time and attention it deserves instead of letting it sit out hiatus after hiatus because I keep failing at structuring my time.

So, my new plan is a little more abstract: find a way to work Dread Not into my school schedule, and slowly build a habit of working on it more often. No clue how long that’ll take, but I think it’ll be worth it to consider it as an option, and hopefully finally end these long, drawn out hiatuses with short bursts of uploads in-between. HOPEFULLY. Building habits was never my strong suit, so please bear with me while I figure this out in what will probably be the most hectic upload schedule in this comics history, which is: no schedule at all.

From now on (until the end of Act 1), I’ll upload pages when they’re ready, and depending on how the weeks go and how complex the page is, they could be weeks or days apart from one another. Hell, some might even take a month to finish if school stuff gets REALLY hectic (god knows Hellish Exam Week number 1 and number 2 won’t be giving me much time to work on the comic), but I’m determined to do this. I want to be able to put my all into this project again!!

(And hopefully finish Act 1 by the end of this semester…)

TL;DR: College is giving me life lessons I didn’t expect, and because of them I’ve decided to give myself a non-existent upload schedule for Dread Not: Pages will be posted when they’re ready, and the spacing between pages could wildly vary depending on circumstances and the actual complexity of the page itself.

As always, thank you for being here, thank you for reading, and thank you for being patient!

If all goes well, there will be new content very, very soon.

#dread not #dreadnot #dread not au #dreadnotau #not comic #kris #schedule update #again #apparently i was calling this last hiatus a pseudo hiatus?#oh silly past me. this was a full blown hiatus jesus fucking christ #but yeah no i love being at this college dont get me wrong #its just that i have like 3 exams to prepare for the next two days ALONE #so like!!!! wish me luck!!!!! for christs sake #yknow i was planning on actually Dedicating Time to the art for this post #but uhh. haha. a little thing called the consequences to my actions caught up to me #fuckin psychology exam today that i had to cram for last night #i think it went ok? who the fuck knows at this point #but for tomorrow and the day after that i have digital shit to finish some theory to cram AND an ENTIRE PAINTING #that i didnt even START YET #and its an autoportrait. as if i wasnt suffering enough i have to stare at my ugly mug for hours #AGAIN. BECAUSE I HAD A DIFF AUTOPORTRAIT TO FINISH FOR LAST WEEK #im in spain without the s yall pray for me

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renlyslittlerose · 9 months

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Last week was the one year anniversary of me posting my first obikin fic, and over the last year being a part of the fandom has brought me so much joy and happiness and enthusiasm once again. Some of you knew me before 2019 and were aware that I was working on my Masters in the Classics, which included a massive thesis. While working on the thesis I was also working part-time at the museum, as well as battling a few chronic illnesses - some of which still affect me today - all of which drained me physically and emotionally. When I had finished my thesis and graduated from the program I was well and truly burnt out.

2020 was rough for everyone, and I was contented to just exist without doing much of anything that could be seen as creatively productive. But then 2020 came and passed and I thought maybe I should get back on the saddle, and started working on my own original story. I fell off of social media, didn’t interact in fandom, and tried to grind out a story that wasn’t working like I had hoped it would. 2021 and I still wasn’t ‘feeling it’; I had gone from writing about 1-2k words a day to 500 words a week - if I was lucky. A part of me wondered if I was tapped out for good, that I didn’t have it in me anymore, and that my thesis was my last creative outlet - my last hooray. I know it sounds a bit dramatic, but when you go from creating almost every day since you were sixteen years old, to suddenly believe that the well has run dry is terrifying. Maybe I was done for good - maybe I wouldn’t create something I was proud of.

And then Kenobi came out. I was a massive prequels fan since I was nine years old and the Phantom Menace came out, and an even bigger Darth Vader fan, but I had never interacted with the fandom in any meaningful way. I was contented to just watch the films and the shows and leave it at that. But as I was watching I had the epiphany that Obi-Wan and Anakin were actually ~roommates all along. I started reading obikin fic, came back on tumblr to see what sort of fandom there was, and suddenly found myself with ideas again, and a desire to create something.

So I wrote my first fic ‘Sacred to the Gods’ based off of a thesis I wrote during my undergrad about the psychology of a Greek demigod. It took me about a week to write, but in that time I had a lot of fun - the words started to come more easily, the vibes were there, and the passion was slowly but surely returning. One fic turned into another, and then another, and suddenly I had written two multi-chaptered long-form fics, some shorter multi-chaptered ones, and a bunch of oneshots, all about our favourite duo.

And in the that span of time, not only was I able to rediscover my passion for writing and feel inspired again, but I met so many amazing, incredible, kind, passionate, creative people who welcomed me with open arms. I was used to fandom being sort of a gate-keepy thing, where if you were the new kid in town it would take you a while to work your way into any circles. But it didn’t happen with this fandom. I went up to a few people, held out my macaroni art, and was overjoyed to see them take it and immediately put it up on their fridge.

There are a lot of people I want to thank, and I should thank, from those who read my stuff, those who send me asks on tumblr, those who bookmark and kudos and comment, and those who followed me, but there isn’t any space to do all that. So I hope that a general ‘THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU’ will suffice. Thank you for giving me my passion back, thank you for supporting me, thank you for being an awesome community that has it’s issues, but still cares deeply about the art they’re creating, and who care about fostering a community.

However, there are a few people I would specifically like to address, because I don’t think this post would be complete without you. I’ll put it behind a cut because this post is already cumbersome:

@bi-wan || My beloved! You were the first person to follow me on tumblr after reading one of my fanfictions, and the first to reach out to me to be my friend. Thank you for reaching your hand out to me and dragging me into the fold. Because of you I’ve made so many good friends who I treasure dearly - including you. 🥰

@ragnarlothcat || I feel like you and Cam are a packaged deal, and so I thank you for being curious about me and checking out my work, and for allowing me to occupy both you and Cam’s comfy little raccoon haven. You’re so supportive, and your work was some of the first I read in the fandom which truly secured my desire to be a part of it. Thank you 💖

@intermundia || I’ve told you this before, but you were the first person I approached in the fandom when I decided I wanted to dip my toes into the experience, and your warmth and welcoming nature secured my desires to be a part of this group. The fact that you support my stories and are so passionate about it really fuels my desires to keep creating (as well as feeding my ego). Thank you for being such a good presence in the fandom.👑

@theseptemberist || I have a feeling that Will told you about me, and I am so glad that he did because we’ve struck up such a friendship that I can’t see myself without. Our chats on discord over the past few months have been wonderful in so many ways that are too innumerous to say here. Thank you for sharing your heart, and for being so kind and empathetic. And thank you for sharing your encyclopedic knowledge of fandom tea ☕

@unspuncreature || Just like Rag and Cam come as a team, you and Cal (and Wren, even though I’ve never spoken to her but feel like I know her) are the trio that delight and entertain. Thank you for your brilliant art and creativity, thank you for letting me bounce all my ideas off of you, and thank you for collaborating with me. You’re brilliant 💗

@kyberkenobi || Beyond the fact that your filthy brain inspires me and delights me, and the fact that you’re willing to goed me on when I come up with something that’s delightfully nasty, your maturity when it comes to fandom is refreshing. At the threat of sounding like a proud grandma, you’re still so young and yet you’ve got a lot of shit figured out - most importantly, that fandom is supposed to be for fun and write what you want to write. Can’t wait for us to finally collaborate one of these days 💕

@dininginspace || What can I say? You’re a delight, you’re incredibly funny, you’re kind and understanding, and you’re the best cheerleader a loser like me could ask for. The fact that you jumped on the Buffy bandwagon when I drove by on it secures you as one of my favourite people. Thank you so much for your early and continued support 🧛‍♂️

@nuandia || Thank you for chatting with me all the time; keep up your writing, it’s brilliant and worth it, even if you doubt it sometimes. 💖

@grapenehifics || I had just finished watching MASH when you commented on Moonlight Serenade. The noise I made when I saw your username, followed by the continued joy I get whenever I see you on my dash or in my inbox, or when I see you’ve posted something new for the world to enjoy. 🧡

@palfriendpatine66 || You’re a delight. You’ve got things figured out, and how you can write so much with the life you’ve got is incredible. Keep going - you’re a gem. 💎

@binaryeclipse || Love chatting with you on discord, and being able to throw out random things about Canada into the chat that doesn’t need explaining - you just get it. Especially when it comes to Alberta politics. It doesn’t always feel like a safe space out there when you’re an Albertan who loves her province but also hates so many things about it, but you make me feel as if I can be a contradictory mess and still feel as if I belong in Canada. Your muse will come back soon, I trust in this ✨

@treescape || Your work is sublime and an inspiration. I read your fics first when I went hunting for things to read, and was immediately captivated. When you followed me back and weren’t at all weirded out by me bounding over to you like an excitable golden retriever, I was very grateful - I am very grateful. Can’t wait to see what you create next. 💛

@starsdies || Thank you for listening to me; thank you for being so inspiring; thank you for helping with community events and exchanges. And thank you for streaming The Last of Us for me because I’m too cheap to buy HBO Max. 🙏

@tessiete || You fact-checked the details I put into Moonlight and all I can say is THANK YOU. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting too lost in the details, but its people like you who google that shit that makes me feel good about my obsessions. 🌸

#personal #obikin #thank you everyone #I know this is messy and gushy and gross but whatever #Im sick with a cold so I get to be mushy gushy

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silksongeveryday · 8 months

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Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 200!!!

(huge thanks to this person for the art suggestion!! <3)

I genuinely can’t believe that I’ve made it to 200 days, it’s truly been wild how time flies by like that and the amount of doodles I’ve made during that time. Over 200 doodles (217 to be exact if we’re counting double pictures/extra doodles) have been made over the past 200 days. :0

And thank you all so much for the love and support! Not only have we reached 200 days but also 1400+ followers about a week ago! <3

But, having said that I’d like to make a few announcements—some good, some not so great—about a few things regarding the blog, myself, and other stuff.

Putting it all under the cut so the post isn’t long if you’d like to know more

______________________________

Announcements!

My pfp!

1.) I’ll be changing my pfp again!! I’ve officially decided that after every 100 days or so I’ll change up the pfp so it’s up to date with my doodle style (assuming it changed at all lol), but generally it’ll look relatively the same as the last!

Possibly more admins?

2.) As of right now I’m looking into the idea/possibility of having a second (maybe third?) person help me with daily doodles! As much as I’d like to keep doodling everyday there are some days that it can be tough or some situation might be happening. (i.e. recently got injured)

See, the problem is I don’t exactly have a proper way of trying this out??? My idea was to maybe do this through dms or more preferably Google Forms. I also don’t really know what form of communication afterward would be best either, suggestions to help me work this out would be great! (as you can tell I’m not very good at this stuff lol)

Commissions!

3.) After much consideration and a lot of thought, I’ve decided that in the near future, I’ll be opening commissions again for the first time in years. I don’t have everything set up quite yet, but expect more info in the near future!

About requests:

4.) You may have noticed recently that I haven’t been doing as many doodle requests recently. Sure, there’s usually quite a few in a row at once but you may have noticed I’ve also been doing “non-requested” doodles aka ones that I just do on my own.

Expect this to become a very normal thing going forward. I probably won’t be doing as many requests as before because frankly with the amount of requests I get daily when it’s open is a lot to handle sometimes. Does this mean requests will be stopped entirely? No, I’ll still do some occasionally, but not as much as I have in the past.

Also I’ll likely be doing strictly anonymous requests.

About Burnout:

5.) Alright let’s address the elephant in the room.

There have been quite a few instances where people have wondered if I would ever have burnout and have occasionally joked about “dying” from said burnout because “Silksong will never release, you’ll be doing this forever” etc etc.

In the past I’ve been fine, motivation has been great, but recently I’ve noticed it a little bit.

Unfortunately life has its own plans so it can be a little hard for me to make a doodle that day, expecially recently since I’ve been experiencing personal/medical issues. It’s part of the reason I’m hoping to get a second (maybe third) person to help me do daily doodles so I can take a little bit of the load off my shoulders.

So what does this mean for this blog?

Not much right now. But in the future, there may be some changes. My current plan is to keep going on daily doodles/posts for the length of a standard year, so roughly 365 days. After that, if things in personal life keep up the way they have, I may have to stop daily doodles and instead will post only if I have time. That likely means doodles every other day or every three days or something. At the very least I’ll still post a doodle once a week.

Not to worry though! I’ll still try my best even after I reach day 365 :)

I’ll discuss how things work a little more on my main @miizori later, but that’s as much as I can think to explain rn.

———————————————

Just a few more things I wanted to say!

This community has been so cool to interact with, so much tamer than some others I’ve been apart of in the past. I’m genuinely thankful for how much support and how nice everyone has been. I truly didn’t expect to get this far, I was fully expecting to have stopped like 10 doodles in lol. I especially love to see all your comments in the tags and people sharing their art. You’re all so cool :)))

I have a dtiys from back when I reached 300 followers that’s still available if you’re feeling up to it!

Also my main (again, @miizori) is where I make updates on doodle stuff, regular art stuff and so on if you’re interested at all in that lol

I think that’s all that I can remember wanting to say, so thanks!! I look forward to more doodles for you all :)

#hollow knight #silksong #hk hornet #hollow knight hornet #silksong hornet #hk shade lord #shade lord #hollow knight shade lord #hollow knight fanart #hk fanart #silksongeveryday

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ghostoffuturespast · 4 months

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Works In Progress 2023: A Cyberpunk 2077 Year In Review

I thought for a hot minute about doing one of those snazzy templates that’s been going around, but editing photos just ain’t my MO and rather than going by month I picked 12 favs that I’ve posted in 2023. Some of them were popular, some of them weren't. Overall, I think I did pretty good for just doing vanilla photomode on console.

You might be wondering why there's a picture of a sticky note. I don't remember when I started doing this, and I'm horribly inconsistent as you can see by the dates, but I'll jot down my word count for my wip chapter and then jot it down again when I remember to later.

I write slow. A lot of times I sit down to write and it feels like the wheels are spinning in place. My minutes and hours don't stretch very far, typically don't add up to much. But days, weeks, months. That's when I can at least measure the progress.

Fic: So It Goes 40/44 - 438,946 words

My V x River Ward and tinfoil hat conspiracy theory long fic. I've spent way more hours on this then I have on any of my VP.

I got tagged by @just-a-cybercroissant @therealnightcity and @wanderingaldecaldo to do some WIP Whenevers. I post my VP pretty regularly, so it’s always seemed silly to do work in progress posts for them, and I don’t know when I’ll have any new writing to share since in between work and the holidays, I haven’t had much time to sit down with anything since my last chapter update. And I've been feeling very... stingy, lately. Especially when it comes to mine and other people's writing. So take this WIP/Year In Review as my offering. Both these series, as am I, are all very much still works in progress.

I confined my reflections for this year below the cut. If you don’t want to read my long-ass essays, you can admire the pictures, maybe check out my fic, or just move along and have yourself a lovely day.

We’ll start with the easy one.

After at least a year of multiple playthroughs (I’ve played all the lifepaths, done all the endings), it only occurred to me at the beginning of this year to start taking VP. Part of the reason I never did before was because I didn’t realize it was a thing and then by the time I did, I figured I didn’t have much to offer. I play on PS5 and only have access to vanilla photomode, so seeing everyone else’s high-fidelity, ultra ray-tracing, modded, posed, full on virtual photo shoot photos, I was like there’s no way. (Not that I’m hating on PC modders, it’s just not everyone has access to mods or a PC capable of running the game, and I’m all for making art and creative endeavors accessible.) On top of that, all I’d ever heard from most other folks was how much vanilla photomode sucked. In the glamorous world of VP, I didn’t think there was any room for me.

But I started snapping pics anyway. And sure, there are a lot of limitations with vanilla photomode. But what that really translates to is opportunities to get creative. I am also a hoe for subverting people’s expectations, and very much believe when there’s a will, there’s a way.

Environmental and landscape shots were my first subjects before I started branching out into portraits and then capturing story moments. Through VP I found an entirely new way to enjoy a game that I’d already played a ridiculous number of times along with also finally being brave enough to share my V with other people too. I’d always worried about that before, if people would like her. Granted, I know Grandpa’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but whether you like her or not, I certainly think she’s made a name for herself over the past few months. Even if most people haven’t really gotten to know her the way I’d hoped.

I’ve taken hundreds of photos this past year. Most of which I’ll never share. There’s a lot of flops, a lot of weird experiments, ones that didn’t quite turn out the way I’d hoped, but I’ve learned something from every single one of them. I know how to spot good lighting, frame shots to create optical illusions, get a very limited toolkit to work in my favor, parkoured on all of the things, and heck, I even figured out how to make Grandpa smooch other NPCs. I’ve done atmospheric, mundane, down right goofy, as well as things that most people probably thought weren’t fucking possible.

I can’t say how long I’ll keep doing this, I’m sure I’ll move on at some point, but for now I’m still enjoying myself. There's a lot to explore in this game and I just can’t stop digging Night City.

Now, for the more complicated thing.

Writing

So It Goes… My peace, my war, my greedy and most ravenous of ghosts.

I’m operating under the assumption that most people following me here probably haven't read my fic or aren’t all that interested in reading it to begin with. It’s fine. But you need to understand this fic, my writing, is the main thing that brought me here. This is also Grandpa V’s story. Most of you have met her, but unless you've been reading, most of you do not know her.

I wrote around 185,000 words and posted 10 chapters this year. 2022 was about 253,000 words and 30 chapters, along with several unrelated one shots. However, I don’t think I’ve done a single chapter this year that was less then 10k, and my longest managed to hit 27k. As of the last update I posted, the fic is currently sitting at around 439k words, 40 chapters, and still isn’t done.

I have four more chapters to write. I have written a metric shit ton of words. This is, by far, the longest and most intense creative project I’ve ever endeavored to complete.

When I started writing, I was expecting this fic to be around 100-150k. That seemed to be the average for most long fics. I did not plan on being an outlier. I'm not sure you can ever really plan for that, but I guess I enjoy subverting my own expectations too.

For those of you who are reading my fic, it is my sincerest hope that it shatters every expectation of where you think it’s going. It’s not a joke that I tagged my fic “#an ode to my tinfoil hat”. An ode it has turned out to be. I’ve been sitting on this theory for two years. I have told no one about it. I hope it sticks the landing and hits the way I want it to. I don't know if it will. But fuck, I just want to be done with it so I can move on with my life, take a break, and give myself the opportunity to make and focus on other things before I have to get back on the damn horse.

I wrote less this past year then I did in 2022. I had a lot of life changes, most of which were good, but with times of change come times of adjustment. Along with some realizations that maybe you don’t understand as much as you thought you did. Looking back, I’ve been in a state of unsettled, kuzushi, for a really long time. Which is not a good place to be. It’s how your ass ends up on the ground with a knee knocking out all your teeth. I thought I knew better. Thought I had enough practice to get away from it. But bad habits have good memories.

I think given the circumstances, I accomplished a lot with my writing this year. I don’t know if my writing is exactly where I want it to be. I doubt it every will be, but it’s evolved, grown, and I wrote a pretty hefty stack of words considering I started working full-time again, bought a house with my partner, moved, and have been dealing with the millions of other beans that life tends to throw one’s way. That being said, and for full disclosure, I’ve also been dealing with some of the worst cases of jealousy and envy I’ve had since I was a teenager.

Frankly, it sucks. They walk with me every fucking where I go, hold my hands to whisper back all my doubts. Try to persuade me to my baser instincts, to be cruel and lash out. But that's not aikido. Luckily, I’m not 16 anymore so it’s at least been easier for me to identify the problem. Though I’m still coming up short in terms of actually being able to do anything about it, and will be for at least a few months more.

Yeah, I keep talking about it because I don’t know how many people know that I've been feeling this way. And I’m tired of not talking about it in a room full of creatives, because yeah, I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. And not talking about it just makes all that pent up resentment worse for everyone.

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing. But with the way I work and think, it’s a slow, tedious, and incredibly time-consuming art. With how much my fic has snowballed over the course of writing, it’s left very little room for the other hobbies in my life. And as my fellow writers probably already know, writing is an incredibly insular craft. And unlike a picture or an image, which only requires a glance, reading a bunch of words requires time and commitment.

So, when you put yourself out there and share what you wrote, it’s a lonely feeling not knowing whether or not anyone connected with what you put on the page. Especially, when the people who do read aren’t compelled to voice anything and when the people you’d hope would read don’t. And then you're stuck in the dark, not knowing, because neither of us says a goddamn thing.

I started writing this fic prior to actually joining the CP2077 fandom. And I joined the fandom because I felt alone. I’ve been here a while now, albeit in a few different places, and that feeling still hasn’t gone away. I’m still trying to find camaraderie with my fellow writers and carve out something that kinda sort of resembles a home or a sense of community. I watch my peers around me as they seem to build that with each other, except me.

I’m envious of the things that people make and jealous of the relationships those have created and fostered between said people, because for the life of me, it’s been a struggle to cultivate that since I got here. I know it’s selfish, but I also don’t know what about me makes people so hesitant. There have been a handful of strangers that have shown up for me regularly, but as far as people I call friends in this fandom that have shown up and actually stuck around, I can only name one right now. (I know we're all busy. And I acknowledge my writing's not for everyone. I know maybe some of you are quiet, or shy, or probably a thousand other things. I get it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less. People will never know unless you say. Never know unless you take the time to interact or engage. Be brave. And that's true for a lot of things.)

The propensity is for the negative to outweigh the positive. I've got a lot of numbers on my fic, so you would think things would be fine, but at this point they just feel empty. They don't bring me any comfort or real satisfaction. And I hate feeling like the people I know don’t care and that most of you are just talking around me. That I’m some kind of annoyance not fit to interact with. Which may or may not be the case. I don’t know. Again, most of you have never said anything. And maybe I need to accept the fact that most of you never will.

But this is me trying to start conversation.

It’s really shitty, knowing that the thing I want the most is also the thing holding me back. I know how to work on it too, not that it’s any guarantee. The problem is I’m still writing and in a needy state of greed. And because I’m slow, I don’t have the time or the energy to be generous. I can only take right now. I can’t give.

Relationships require both.

I can’t bring myself to read other people’s writing. I can’t comment, or like, or share if I haven’t read anything. I'm desperate for conversation, but I also don't have the time or assurance to facilitate it with other people right now. And for some reason people never seem to want to talk to me, especially when it comes to writing. I want to be part of conversations, talk deeply with other people. But I can’t speak right now, I'm not in a place to offer generosity without someone first giving it to me.

And generosity and grace is what we all need.

Four more chapters and I hope my ghosts will finally let me read in peace.

#cyberpunk 2077 #2023 year in review #year in review #virtual photography #writing #from the top #fic: so it goes #long post #i can't guarantee a safe space but i can guarantee a brave space #if anyone's been feeling similarly and wants to talk about it my dms are open #the door's always open

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cornerstoreclown · 1 year

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Sweet Dreams

Summary: This is a short one-shot (1924 words) where the reader (Gender Neutral) is in an established relationship with Art and they’re laying in bed thinking about him. As they try to sleep, they get an unexpected visitor.

Warnings/Contents: Um. Fluff? Domesticity? That’s more on the contents side of things. There’s nothing really worth mentioning being a warning, I think.

Author’s notes: I feel like this isn’t my best work, but in the advice artists give one another, I’ll post it anyway. I’m very, very, tired, but I wanted to spit out content before next week. I got some great news--I’m moving up the career ladder (new job in my career path that’s basically a huge promotion) on top of me going back to school next week for certifications.

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Last you checked the time, it read 2:00 AM.

You have work in the morning. Early in the morning.

Dread fills you as you already know that you’re going to feel like dogshit. It’s like the terrible beginning to your day that technically started at 12am.

Sleep just isn’t coming to you tonight. She’s been elusive. She’s been tricky. Avoiding you on purpose, you dare think. She seems to come to everyone else so easily, but not you. Never you, it feels like. Some nights she gives you reprieve, but this wasn’t one of those nights. Maybe it’s all those thoughts swirling around in your head–you noticed it happens a lot more around October that you’re tossing and turning until you hurt, which makes it even more uncomfortable to try and sleep. You’re on your stomach, staring off in the darkness at nothing in particular, stuck in a momentary trance.

It was hard to sleep knowing that he’s around. October is his month, after all. And it’s getting close to the 31st of the month. It was hard to not think about him. He’s all you could think about during this time of the year. It’s so stupid how he’s consumed your life, how he’s become so entangled in your life, and how you just let him. He’s near impossible to escape in the fall. You see warnings posted for him, you see him on news broadcasts, you listen to the radio warnings. Sometimes you’d think that you’d see him in the corner of your eye on the streets at night when you were walking alone.

You miss him.

You’re tempted to reach for your phone nearby on your nightstand, maybe scroll through social media a bit, see if there’s any new chatter about the Miles County Clown. But you dread the thought of seeing what time it is and seeing how long you’ve been laying around in a sleepless fit. A few minutes of debating, and you finally reach for the phone and click the button on the side where it lights up and reveals the time to you in white font.

3:04 AM.

You feel yourself gain an extra level of fatigue reading that and opt to click on the side of the phone to turn the light off. Doing any reading about him will just make you all the more anxious. Taking a deep sigh, you roll on your back, put one of your pillows over the top half of your face and again, inhale deeply, trying to not think about the fact that you have to be up in a few hours, but it only seems to impede any progress you have hope in making.

At least your bed smells nice. Smells fresh. You cleaned the sheets and pillows yesterday on your day off. You focus on the scent, and it fills you with comfort. You feel yourself start to relax.

Some time between now and whenever but obviously before the time the alarms you set on your phone went off, you’re at the threshold–the land between dreams and reality, and you hear it.

A set of rhythmic knocks at your front door, before the sound of the door handle being jiggled.

You recognize those knocks. It’s why you’re not getting out of bed. You instead just opt to go a little further under the covers, and when you hear the door swing open and close, you cough purposefully. Your way of letting your location known.

You register the THUNK of what you assume is a bag hitting the floor, and the sounds of various heavy items inside of it clattering along with it. You then hear footsteps make their way in your direction, and you’re relaxed. You recognize the weight of those steps and the pace. Then, you hear your own bedroom door open, and your eyes sharply turn towards the creaking door. It’s dark, but there’s just enough light emitted by the moon tonight that’s shining through the blinds on your windows that you recognize who is staring back at you. A lithe man, with a distinct nose and sharp chin, with a wicked smile, though this time, the wickedness looks more on the muted side, to what you can interpret as contentment.

“Hey, Art.”

You gave Art a spare key to your apartment last week. You don’t know if that was a good idea or not, but you did it anyway. Better than him trying to bust his way in, because you know he’s capable of doing such things. He has an air of the supernatural to him, though you don’t know how far his limits go, and if he’s hiding anything from you that you haven’t seen from him already. He’s cheeky like that.

As he comes closer and steps further into the moonlight shining into your bedroom, you see it, but you only see it because it’s on the white parts of his costume. Dried blood. You know that if it was wet, you’d be able to smell it. Fresh blood often reminds you of rust, and you’ve become quite accustomed to the scent of it thanks to Art and by no choice of your own.

He makes his steps closer towards the bed, and you feel yourself stir as you realize that, even though his clothes look dry, that doesn’t mean that your freshly cleaned bed wouldn’t be desecrated. He’s still dirty, dry or not.

You can’t make out what he’s doing as he’s standing right at the end of your bed and leaning forward with one hand on the mattress for support, but you hear the familiar clunk of his clown shoes and you realize that he’s taking them off before preparing to get in.

“Oh, Art, no–” You start to prop yourself up on your elbows, fatigue still heavy in your voice, but it’s too late. He’s already dived under the duvet, and you’re just too exhausted to fight it.

Seconds later, right at your side, Art pops out from under the covers, darkened eyes meeting your tired ones. Even though you’re not happy that he’s ruining your bed, you do find yourself trying to hold back a smile. His hat’s slanted slightly differently from the blanket pulling at it, and you extend your hand out from under your blanket and fix it until it’s at its proper angle on his head again.

You sigh at him, your smile faint. You feel your head pounding. Exhaustion is overtaking you, and the thought that you’re going to have to clean your bed again later puts weight on your shoulders that you wish you didn’t have right now. You muse that maybe the murder clown will kill you in your sleep tonight, and for a flicker of a second, your sardonic sense of humor finds that great, actually. What a relief, to not exist anymore. He’d be doing you a favor. Humans weren’t meant for the intense level of grind that this society puts upon them, and the stress kills.

“Staying the night, are we?” You ask him. You can still see him through the faint light in your room.

He watches you, fluffing the set of pillows next to your own before laying his head down on them. Judging by the way that he’s settling down, you take that as his way of saying ‘yes’.

“Okay, fine. But tomorrow, you’re helping me clean the sheets.”

He rolls his eyes and scoffs quietly, looking as if you asked a major chore of him. ‘Ugh, fine,’ is what you read from his bodily response. You know he’ll help though. He’s surprisingly helpful around the place with cleaning. That’s why you don’t take offense to him acting the way he is right now. You purse your lips, swallowing any tired, delirious type of laugh you felt bubbling at the back of your throat.

You lower your body back down into the mattress, putting your head on your pillows. You turn your head so that your face is inches from his. It was weird, this level of domesticity between you two. He’s a monster, but not to you. Not ever to you. You wonder if he has the same needs that humans do, if he needs love too. Love was on the hierarchy of needs for humans, as was a sense of belonging. Is it stupid to think that? He’s not human. He’s not like you.

Yet, absentmindedly, you reach out for his hand under the shared covers between the both of you, and when you grasp a hold of it, you interlace your fingers with his, and he lets you.

Art’s hands are rough and calloused, but that’s what happens when you work with your hands as much as he does. The tips of his fingers are a little cold, but the rest of him is surprisingly warm. His body temperature was always a little higher than the average person’s body temperature. Simply another reminder that he’s not human.

You feel the way that he lightly squeezes your hand. Hands capable of being so rough and tearing open ribcages.

“I have work in a few hours.”

Art makes a face of disgust. He looks appalled.

You finally laugh, and he laughs silently with you, eyes shut tight as he does so, wrinkles showing on his face as his teeth show. Those jaws of his are weapons just as much as his hands.

“Been a hard night.” You tell him. And it has. Being awake in the middle of the night with your thoughts is tortuous. Maybe more tortuous than anything Art could do to you, you think. You’ve been trying to be less of your own worst enemy, but it’s been a constant uphill battle.

Art’s other bloodied hand extends out and reaches for the side of your face. His hands are stained with someone else, and yet in the end, he comes here to you. There’s no changing him. You watch him through half lidded eyes, focusing on the way that his thumb strokes your cheek. He’s so tender, yet you know that he’s so cruel. You don’t know what he sees in you, but you pray it never ends. You pray that when you drift off into sleep tonight, if that’s even possible, that he’s there, and that he lets you wake up and this isn’t your last night on this planet that floats aimlessly through the infinite sea of stars.

You’re so frustrated by the lack of sleep you feel like you almost want to cry, but you don’t. Instead, you scoot closer under the covers, right next to the Miles County Clown, resting your head under his chin. You both adjust accordingly so that you’re pressed up against him, and he’s got his arm around you now. Your hands are pressed up against your own chest. You’ll be irritated about the fact that he came to you after killing someone later. For now, you seek comfort.

You seek sleep.

And in his arms, he rubs your back gently, and you can’t see his face, but you’re sure he’s rather indifferent in his expression.

You feel yourself begin to drift off, your muscles relax, and you lose consciousness. The last thoughts you remember having is that you hope that he’s still there in the morning.

When the sun finally rises, you'll be delighted to find out when you open your eyes, that he was, because he wakes you up for the proper time, not your phone's alarms.

#art the clown x you #art the clown x reader #terrifier #slasher x you #slasher x reader #coulrophilia #minors dni #art the clown #long post #I skimmed this so fast for errors I am so sorry #I am so sleepy and tired but I wanted to get this done #canon x reader

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thesunismoody · 3 months

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Uranus, Neptune and Pluto : the generational planets ✨🪐

Today’s post is about my opinion about these 3 big planets that are quite misunderstood because of their impact which can be individual and on a whole generation at the same time. I hope it will help beginners and give some insights about how to interpret some heavy placements ! (ps : english isn’t my first language, sorry if there’s too much mistakes or misunderstandings 🙏)

A “transpersonal” planet ?

Uranus, Neptune and Pluto are called “transpersonal” planets. Etymologically, the prefix trans- means “across, beyond”. They transcend the personality, go through the individuality to change humanity and soul in its core. Indeed, that’s exactly what it sounds like : these planets will send the same energy to the whole world at the same time to produce a global change.

You’ll answer me that every planet does so. Indeed, yes. When the Full moon is in Leo, the moon shares the same fiery energy to everyone. And, because of the velocity of these little planets and luminaries, it will influence everyone’s individuality for some days, some weeks in some cases. But, with transpersonal planets, the impact is more of a chemical change, like it’s changing the whole constitution of an environment.

Metaphorically, whereas the other planets will act like waves in the ocean to modify for a brief time its strength or calmness, transpersonal ones will have an impact on the Ph of the water, the constitution of the molecules, and THAT will impact all the fishes - without them not even acknowledging it sometimes.

Generational planets ?

As they’re very slow, their influence impact a whole generation. On the following list, I’ll explain how long each one stays in a sign before moving to the next one, and I’ll also explain the context of their discovery and how it expresses well the energy they spread.

Uranus needs 84 years to make a complete orbit. It stays 7 years in a sign.

It was discovered in 1781, era of the Age of Enlightenment, between the American revolution and the French one.

=> community, liberties, revolutions, new ways of living and thinking…

Neptune needs 165 years to make a complete orbit. It stays approximately 14 years in a sign.

Discovered in 1846, it chooses well its era to be found. 19th century is the peak of spiritualism, mediums and other divinations which were still condemned a few decades earlier.

It’s also a major era for art. The end of the 19th century has shown some open-mindedness : news ways of painting and writing were democratized, accepting some liberties in the way artists were expressing their feelings.

Pluto needs 248 years to make a complete orbit. It stays approximately from 12 to 30 years in a sign.

It was discovered in 1930, between the two world wars. It was the period of fascists regimes, abuses of power and death. It empowers primal instincts, chemicals, lies and destruction. Often related to atoms, quantum physics…

Disclamer : Yes, Pluto is one of the greatest source of power, and yes it has been used badly. However, with good intentions, this planet also purifies and transcends to help us regenerate, like a phoenix from the ashes.

An insight of 2024 ?

With all of this, how these 3 planets will influence our present ?

✨ Uranus is in Taurus ♉️ 2018-2026

Correlating to what we’ve seen previous times Uranus were in Taurus, we can guess that governments will try to pursue traditions and stubborn ways of governing.

Uranus isn’t at ease in Taurus so it diminishes its power. However, we could see some revolts about earth, agriculture, climate… The Taurus energy will increase the desire to possess things, to ensure a materialistic life, and Uranus presence will provoke some crisis about it. To resume, it creates another relationship with nature.

✨Neptune is in Pisces ♓️ 2012 - 2025

Each time Neptune is in Pisces, the accent is put on health. From Pasteur in the 19th century to the rise of alternative medicines nowadays, we continue to observe this tendency. We’ve also seen a lot of improvement about mental health these last years. It’s also the end of a cycle. Some values are discussed, tolerance between all religions for example. Global spirituality is fostered. Meditation and hypnosis, dreams, are placed in the center of this reflection. We also have to be careful : Neptune is the ruler of illusions so, in Pisces, we have to stay realistic.

✨Pluto is in Aquarius ♒️ 2024-2044

First of all, you should know that Pluto will come back in Capricorn from September to November. Because of how violent Pluto’s energies can be, the planet goes back and forward in a new sign to soften the transition. Then, what could mean a Pluto in Aquarius ? It requires liberty, freeing ourselves from traditions and hierarchy. There could be some revolts and new ways of organizing societies and communities. New technologies and new ways of communication will appear.

It’s the end of this post ! I hope it was instructive for some of you ✨ I’ll try to explain how they can influence an individual chart by explaining their transits in another post these next days 🌷 Thank you for reading me 🙏

#2024 #astrology observations #astro community #astro observations #astro notes #astrology #planets #astrology notes

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peonierose · 1 month

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Round Robin: Chapter 5 - Don’t call me Angel

Book: OH & TRR crossover

Characters mentioned: Luna Auclair (F!OC - OH), Bryce Lahela (M!MC - OH), Tobias Carrick (M!MC - OH, Maxwell Beaumont (M!MC - TRR) and Bertrand Beaumont (M!MC - TRR)

Words in total: 3,373k

A/N: Masterlist for Round Robin @choicesprompts I’m participating for Round Robin for the 1st time and I really hope I could do the characters justice 🥰

Side note: Thank you so much for helping me with this story and helping me get inspired @aallotarenunelma & @annieruok94 🩷🩷🩷🩷

A few weeks ago…

Luna

The phone rang somewhere in the house while I was in the middle of an art project.

A few seconds later I heard footsteps and when I turned around I saw Bryce appear in the doorway, handing me my phone.

”Who is it?“ I asked and turned to my canvas again.

”No idea some fancy talking guy said he wanted to talk to you.“

”Is he sure he got the right person?“ ”Beats me.“

I furrowed my brow and pushed my dark blonde hair out of my face and accidentally got some teal paint in my hair. Good thing it’ll wash out.

”Hello?“ I wiped my paint covered fingers on a cloth I kept handy when I painted.

”Am I speaking to Ms. Luna Auclair?“ A deep voice with a slight accent can be heard from the other end.

”Yes. And who is this?“ I put the phone on speaker and got up slowly as I took my brushes to the sink to wash them.

”My name is Bertrand Beaumont from House Beaumont in Cordonia. I’m sure you’ve heard of me.“

”Hmm. Sorry doesn’t ring a bell.“ I say not able to resist teasing him. Bryce snickered next to me.

”You’re so mean.“ He mouthed, and I kissed his stubbled cheek, making him smile.

I turned back to the conversation, putting Bertrand out of his misery. Poor guy must’ve thought the worst of me.

”I’m just kidding Mr. Beaumont I know who you are. So what can I do for you?“ I turned off the faucet and put my paint brushes upside down so they could dry.

”I could use your help.“ He sounded hesitant, which made me instantly curious.

”Help with what?“

”We have our PR firm that we founded, and we’re trying to give some people a better public image.“ I took my phone into my hand.

”What does that have to do with me? I’m not a PR person. I have a bachelor's degree in fine arts, and I’m currently teaching art at the University of Hawaii.“

I took a look at my half-finished painting sitting on the easel, and decided to let the painting dry for now. I’ll keep working on it later.

When I closed the door Bryce and I walked towards the backyard, where we sat down in our beach chairs, while Bertrand’s voice kept coming out of the speaker.

”I’m very well aware. But I know you’re someone who’s skilled as an artist. And I know you think outside the box, and that’s exactly what we need.“

”I will need more information than that if you want my help.“ I could hear some commotion before another voice replaced Bertrand's.

”Luna right? Hi I’m Maxwell, Bertrand’s brother. Look, my brother's social skills suck sometimes. I have the cliff notes version if you want it?“

”Um…sure fire away.“

”Alright. A few weeks ago there was a bit of an…let’s call it an incident. Tobias Carrick was caught making out with the daughter of one of the hospital directors of Mass Kenmore. Someone apparently posted it online. Of course, it’s gone viral. The damage is done and he could get fired. Because apparently it’s unethical.“

”Poor Tobias. He’s a good friend of me and my fiancé Bryce so he has our sympathies especially since this a massive violation of their privacy to put the video online. I’m really sorry he’s going through that.“

I looked at Bryce who was as surprised as me to hear about this.

”Both Bertrand and I feel terrible, because Tobias seems like such a great guy and then for someone to swoop in and destroy his image like that. This is actually where you come into play. Let’s just say we’ve tried other people to fix his image, but it didn’t work.“

”Like I told your brother, I’m not a PR person. I have zero experience.“

”That’s not what we’re looking for. I’m talking about your other accolades. You’re not only one of the youngest people to finish your bachelor degree, but one where all your professors had only glowing compliments for you. You also published your own book, called Kala Kala - Overcoming anxiety with the help of art. Very nice read. I loved it, it’s also super colorful by the way. Not only do you teach art at the senior center, you’re an active member at arts on the fence, a non-profit organization in Honolulu, Hawaii. You love malasdas and are allergic to ginger. Should I continue? I’ve got more.“

”I…no…that’s fine. But how did you find out that much about me? Not everything is available online.“ I was wondering how the hell they got my phone number, and all the things in my bio Maxwell just mentioned. Why would they even be interested in seeking out my help?

”Let’s say a mutual, redhead found out about it. She bought some of your art, and she said you could be a good fit. I think the phrase »ovaries of steel« was mentioned.“

I gasped in awe.

”You don’t mean Olivia Nevrakis do you? Because then I’m so in. I’d love to meet her. And of course help out in any way I can.“

I heard a whoop and a sigh.

”Is that a yes?“ Maxwell asked unsure.

”Hold on a sec.“ I muted the conversation.

”What do you think B?“ I asked Bryce and I could see his beautiful face, that I could sketch every single day and not get tired of looking at.

”I mean I’m sorry Tobias is going through this. He’s our friend, but are you sure you’re up for it?“ His brown eyes were filled with worry as he gently caressed my stomach.

”I’ll be fine. Women have gotten pregnant before and have worked until they’ve given birth.“ I said with more conviction than I felt right now.

”I know you’re trying to be strong but okay. If you’re really sure, then I’m okay with it, but the smallest hitch, and we’re going back home. And don’t think of going alone. I don’t care who they are. You’re my fiancé and the mother of my kids. So they better believe I’ll be going with you.“

”I love your protective mode.“

”Out of all the things I’ve said, that’s what you focused on?“

I grinned and then I unmuted the conversation.

”Maxwell? I’m in.“

”Thanks Luna. I promise you won’t regret it.“

”I better don’t. Otherwise, you’ll hear me yell at you.“

Maxwell chuckled.

”You got it. There’ll be a private jet to pick you up. I’ll send you the arrival date. Can’t wait to meet you. From the pictures I’ve seen, you're really beautiful.“

”Careful there Casanova.“ Bryce chimed in, and I grinned as I pushed my hand through his soft brown hair, making him relax.

”No worries, I know she’s taken. We’ll see you soon in Cordonia, bye.“

Before I could say anything else the phone call ended. Bryce and I just stared at the phone and then laughed at how surreal the situation was.

Who would’ve thought I’d meet members of House Beaumont?

Though it looked as if a new adventure was coming our way.

5 days later

So here I was on day five not making any kind of improvement whatsoever.

I’ve tried talking to Tobias, but nothing worked to get through to him.

He acted as if nothing was wrong and there’s no part where he could lose his job. He’s been painted as the bad guy but doesn’t seem to care.

I got up this morning, let Bryce sleep in a little, as I went down to the pool to figure out a new strategy for how to fix this mess.

That’s when I saw Tobias flirting with a woman by the pool.

You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m trying to repair his image, and he’s out here flirting? Oh, hell no!

”Having fun?“ I asked when I stood next to him. Tobias turned his light green eyes to me, focusing on me rather than the woman he was just talking to a minute ago.

As if he wasn’t already good-looking enough, the smile he threw my way made his face even more beautiful.

”Good morning to you too, gorgeous.“

”Sorry buddy but that charm is wasted on me. I’m engaged and I’m expecting.“

”Does that mean I can’t flirt with you?“ Tobias smirked.

”You can. But it won’t have any effect.“ I said and took a towel from the rack and threw it at him.

”Get dressed.“ I said, and he took the towel, but didn't move. He threw an apologetic smile at the woman who was sitting next to him. She slipped him a small piece of paper and left. He watched her walk away and nodded his head in appreciation.

I cleared my throat, and he turned his gaze on me.

”Let me guess you have another glorious idea how to restore my image?“

”You can call it that. You have 10 minutes to get dressed and be back.“

”Let’s make it 15 alright?“ Tobias laughed.

”Now it’s 10 minutes.“

”Does that tone ever work on Bryce?“

”I’m not going to repeat myself.“

”Now you sound like a school teacher.“ He replied but got up. That’s progress I guess.

”Look, I was assigned to give you some sort of glowing makeover for your reputation. If you don’t want it? Fine. I have better things to do.“

Tobias stared back at me, his charm gone.

”Like what? Be all sunshiny? No offense, but don’t you ever have a bad day or get angry? In all the time you’ve been here you’re always smiling and never losing your cool. You’re more like a robot.“

His comment hit me more than I thought it would, so I got up in his face. Which is hard since he’s taller than me, but I made it work.

”Don’t mistake my bubbly personality for being just that. There’s a lot more to my character and my personality than being happy and positive. You don’t know me that well if your words are any indication.“

His eyes widened for a fraction.

”My bad.“

”And that was lesson number 12.“

Tobias rolled his eyes.

”What I don’t get is why they even assigned you to me? We’re polar opposites.“

”You know what’s interesting? In our whole convos, you’ve avoided talking about this whole incident that led up to this moment right now. You keep acting as if you don’t care, and it’s no concern of yours. But you avoid talking about the core problem.“

Tobias crossed his arm.

”Please enlighten me.“

”You’re not a bad guy. But you’d rather have people believe you’re a dick then let them think you have a heart. That’s interesting.“

”Are you done psychoanalyzing me?“ His voice sounded more and more irritated.

”If you think that we’re done? Then you don’t know me at all. We’re just getting started. Get dressed. And don’t be late. If you’re not down in 5 minutes I’m leaving. So dealers choice.“

”Fine, I'll go get dressed. Doesn’t mean this conversation is over.“

”Now it’s 9 minutes.“ I said and watched him quicken his steps while I sat down and enjoyed the nice view of the ocean.

10 minutes later…

”What is this place?“ He asked without really seeming to pay attention.

”It’s called a room. With walls and windows. And sometimes there’s even a door.“

He snickered.

”I know what a room is. I meant what are we doing in this room?“ He looked at all the cans of paint I had people assemble for this exercise.

”That’s the fun part. Team building exercise. It’s also pregnancy safe, which is a plus.“ I grinned, but he just looked at me and didn't reply.

”The point of this exercise is to let go of past hurts. Look at it this way, you can just let all your anger out. I like to call it angry painting.“

I take a can of paint, open it and see the color coral crush. I took it and threw some at the wall.

Tobias regarded me and I handed him another can, he took but stared at it as if it’s been touched by Medusa herself.

”Do you even know how to get angry?“ He looked at me skeptically as he kept holding the pint can in his hands.

”Excuse me?“

He opened the can of paint and a soft canary yellow joined the coral crush tone on the wall.

”Look, all you’ve said is how I have a heart and I don’t let others see it. But you don’t even know me. How do you expect me to trust you?“

”Is this finally the heart-to-heart you’re giving me? One that the others failed to get?“

”Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to partner up.“ He set the can down and was about to walk away.

”Giving up so soon? That’s a shame.“

”What?“ He stopped and slowly turned my way.

”I know you’re the type of guy who likes to do things rather than sit around and talk.“

”You’ve been paying attention? I’m shocked. Everybody knows I’m competitive, that's not a secret.“

”Of course I’ve been paying attention. You know I have bad days and angry moments too. I’m not just some blonde bimbo, who can’t count to three. I notice a lot more than people think.“

”Such as?“ He raised his eyebrows daringly as he leaned against the door frame.

”When you get nervous you bite your lip and clench your left fist. Which would lead me to believe you are left-handed.“

I kept going.

”Whenever I ask you a personal question or try to tackle the issue, you laugh it off, meaning you’re not ready to talk to me or improve your image. You think it’s fine and it doesn't need any polishing. If people don’t like you or think you’re a dick that’s on them.“

Tobias doesn’t say anything.

”I’d wager you’re someone who likes to do things his way or the highway. You don’t play well with others because you like to be in control. It’s hard for you to give anyone even an ounce of your trust because you believe trust is earned. You said it yourself I don’t know much about you, so why should you trust me? So did I get any of that right?“

Tobias didn’t say anything. He didn’t even move a muscle.

”Your silence indicates I got something right.“

”Even if you did get it right, it doesn’t mean I need your help.“

”So what you’d let your image get destroyed and let others decide on the narrative rather than trying to fix it? That doesn’t sound like the Tobias I got to know.“

”I can’t control what people think.“

”Maybe not. But you can let them see that there’s more to you. Do you know what I see right now?“

”What?“

”Someone who’s been hurt in the past, and now you’re hurt again. But you’re trying so hard to bury those feelings that you’re drowning in them.“

”Sounds like a therapy session.“ He mumbled.

”Art is therapy. Did you know I basically got bullied out of the art gallery I worked at in Boston?“

He shook his head. By the look in his eyes I could tell I got his attention.

”I had no idea, but I’m sorry to hear that. Why did you get fired?“

”I quit. I’ve been struggling with anxiety for years. And they’ve seen me as someone they can demean and push around. My voice was snuffed out. I’ve always seen art as freedom, choosing to make art work for you. Art has helped me find an outlet, find my voice. Let me be creative and put paint on a canvas when I can’t name my own feelings.“

He rubbed his neck as if uncomfortable by my word vomit.

”I had no idea. And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a dick. I just…“

”You needed to vent so you let it out on me. I get it. We all lash out when we’re angry. Usually at the people we’re close to.“

”But you seem so calm and composed. You and Bryce never even fight. You’re so perfect.“

I threw my head back and let out a laugh. Making it echo from the walls.

I turned back to Tobias who was looking at me as if I grew another head.

”Do you really believe that? Of course Bryce and I fight. We have disagreements all the time. But we’ve learned how to handle them. Even if we don’t speak to each other for days, it doesn't mean we hate each other. But it means hey I need space I’ll talk when I’ve cooled off. We found our rhythm. We love and understand each other.“

He sighed and sat down, leaning on the wall that was just covered with paint, he winced when he realized it, but he didn’t sit down somewhere else.

”What a mess I’ve created, but maybe you’re right.“

”I must have a fever, or did you just say I’m right?“ I grinned and he smiled back.

”No you heard me correctly. You’re right. I’m scared to end up alone. So that’s why I pushed Chloe away. The woman from the video. We’ve gotten pretty close, and I don't know I panicked. I mean whoever took the video had no right to do that, but I guess people judge me and say how I’m sleeping with her because I’d like to get to the top. But that’s not true. I like the job I have. I have no desire to work in an office. I love working with patients. Hearing them tell me what’s wrong and finding a way to make things better for them.“

”Could it be that you’re scared you won’t measure up? Wanting to prove others wrong? You’d rather be the one who ends a relationship rather than the one who gets his heart broken?“

”Yes to all of the above.“ He nodded.

”Alright. That’s something we can work on.“ I said with renewed energy.

”How? We can’t just fix this mess in a matter of days.“

I smiled softly at him.

”No. But we can slowly build towards improving. You know there is a Hawaiian proverb my grandma always uses: A’ Ohe Pu’u Ki’eki’e Ke Ho’a’o ‘Ia e Pi’i.“

”Uhh…meaning?“ He asked.

”No cliff is so tall it cannot be climbed.“

”I kinda like that phrase.“ He said thoughtfully.

”Yeah it’s beautiful. You know what else? You’re not broken. It just means you haven’t figured out the right formula. I don’t want to turn you into someone you’re not. I just want you to realize that if you keep pushing people away who’d like to be in your life you’ll end up all alone. And that’s not what I want for you. You’re smart, funny and good-looking. Don’t let it go to waste.“

Tobias shook his head as grinned at me.

”You know? Now I understand why Bryce fell for you.“

I grinned at him.

”I told you so. There’s more to me than you might think.“

”I can see that. Also, please tell me I’m not the only one you boss around. At least tell me you do that to Bryce too.“

”Oh trust me I do.“ I laughed again because it felt as if we reached a good point. And I’m glad I could get him to open up.

I can see a big grin forming on Tobias face and I already knew there’s something snarky coming.

”Also I did get something right on the first try.“ He grinned.

”Let me guess how to do sex right.“ I sighed.

”No. It was actually how to pick friends. Maybe after we solve this mess I can try and restore some of my friendships.“

”You got this Carrick.“ I slapped his arm.

”Now you sound like Lahela.“

I winked at him.

”Now what?“ He asked after getting up.

”Now we slowly improve your image. With me by your side things can only get better.“ He laughed out loud and we continued to throw paint at the wall. We might’ve not solved everything, but we’re getting there.

#choicesprompts #roundrobin #TRR & OH #Luna Auclair (F!OC)#Bryce Lahela (M!MC)#Tobias Carrick (M!MC)#Maxwell Beaumont #Bertrand Beaumont

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