#fic: so it goes
Text
so it goes | myg
Summary: You and Yoongi have been hooking up, having dates and spending most of the week together for almost seven months. He was comfortable without a title, until the last two weeks, when you couldn't see him because of your busy schedule, Yoongi can't understand why he misses you so bad if your relationship is just sex to him. Or maybe he does, but he's too much of a coward to admit it.
series masterlist,
part two>
—pairing: rapper!yoongi x reader
—rating: +18
—genre: friends with benefits (kind of?) to lovers, fluff, smut.
—warnings/tags: fingering, unprotected sex, dirty talk, mentions of blowjobs, dom!yoongi i guess? (he's soft tho!!) yoongi is in denial, he asks himself lots and lots of questions, emotional constipation!!! etc etc
—words: 6.8k
a/note: hiii, this is my first time posting something for bts and i'm really excited!!! i'm planning to write more about this couple so feedback is appreciated :) pd: english is not my first language. taglist is open if you want to join!!
You were five blocks away from Yoongi’s apartment when your phone vibrated in your pocket for the second time in the span of five minutes.
[Yoongo]: Hurry up
[Yoongo]: Dinner is almost ready
[Yoongo]: If you don’t start running I’m gonna start eating without you.
You giggled looking at his contact name, he made a typo when he wrote his name on your phone and you never changed it, you liked it that way. Yoongi wasn’t going to eat without you, he was the one who invited you, but you started to walk faster anyway.
The memory of the Yoongi who wrote his name on your phone seems so distant now, he was so different from the one who was waiting for you at his apartment, maybe because your mind had unconsciously decided to divide the image you had of him into different parts. The first one was the Yoongi everyone else knew, the rapper, producer and founder of his own label, a well respected name in the industry. The second was the one you knew from the media and the paparazzi pictures of him that came out every weekend, coming out of the club with a different girl by his side every time. Getting bored too fast, never getting enough of that life or anything at all.
The cold wind hit your face as you remembered the first time you met Yoongi, it was the night that Jungkook decided to throw a party, celebrating the start of summer. During that time, your best friend had recently signed with Yoongi's label and was very excited to introduce you to his new friends. You met Namjoon and Hoseok and a few other members of their team, but all you remember was Yoongi’s lingering gaze and intimidating aura, he said hi to you but nothing else, clearly not interested in meeting new people, clearly not interested in meeting you. But as the night passed and Jungkook's party was coming to an end, the only thing you could focus on was his piercing dark eyes staring at you. Why would he be staring at you all night, giving you sneaky glances until you left but never making a move?
"Because you were Jungkook's friend" Yoongi would answer if you were to ask him now, and then he would say something about not fucking people who he could possibly see again. What an asshole, you thought at your imaginary conversation.
At that time you didn't lose sleep over it, didn't question it too much, but even though you two had way too different personalities, you couldn't deny that he was attractive enough for you to find yourself thinking of him once or twice during that week.
The third and last part of the image you had of him in your mind was very different from the last one. You remember discovering it at Jungkook's barbecue party. It was a hot afternoon, Yoongi took a seat next to you and he asked what you were studying at college, he tried to sound interested when you answered history. You made a lame joke and that was the first time that you saw his gummy smile. You liked it so much that you wanted to tell another joke just as bad.
He was quiet, calm and observant, nice enough to offer you a ride home. Nice enough to offer you a ride home every time since that day. He used to say that your dorm was on the way to his house, which was a lie but you didn't know it back then.
You let him drive you home, you enjoyed the music he played and the way he listened to you when he asked you about your life, you enjoyed listening to him talk about his. You thought you were so lucky to know that part of him, and you were so embarrassed when you realized you had a huge crush on him. He was just being nice, no matter how kind he was or how flirty he sounded, he could never feel the same way about you. That's what you thought, until he kissed you before you jumped out of his car one night. That's what you thought until he started kissing you every single time after that.
It wasn't the first time that you asked yourself why Yoongi was so adamant to not let you go, you weren't his girlfriend and he wasn't your boyfriend, but why, after being with so many girls, he decided to keep you? Why did his actions say that he liked you more than his words did? You were pretty, you could admit that, but so were all the other girls, what did you have that they didn't?
You remember asking him about it once. After a long debate about which movie to watch, you beat him by outright refusing to watch a sci-fi movie over a romcom, you and him were laying on his bed with your head on his chest and his hand stroking your hair when a scene of a romantic monologue started, you lifted your head and looked at him.
“What do you like most about me?” Smiling, you watched him trying to act like you didn’t catch him off guard. His eyes popped open but automatically a stupid smirk appeared on his face.
“Your ass.” He answered and you punched his arm before he could finish the last word, he let out an “auch” as his shoulders started shaking from laughter. Then, he decided to correct himself. “I like that you’re sweet”
“That's the lamest thing to like about me” you complained, “I'll pretend that you just said my ass.” you pretended to focus on the movie again, taking your eyes off of him.
During the six months that you had met him, you learned how to manage him a little bit. Sometimes offering food worked, in the worst of the cases it was to throw a tantrum, but that day it only took a pout for him to break.
“Don't” he grabbed your chin, making you look at him again “You're the sweetest,” he confirmed again and kissed you tenderly on the lips “you make laugh. And you're hot.”
“The hottest?” You joked.
“You bet.”
Yoongi was a man of a few words and you always cherished the ones he had for you. Like when you started going to his studio to bring him food that you cooked only for him, Yoongi forced himself to work long hours and most of the time he forgot to eat, but when you brought him food he ate every single thing.
He always grabbed you by the waist and sat you on his lap, he asked you about your day and you asked him about his. He shared food with you and feed you on the mouth.
“Your food is always the best, babe” he murmured with his mouth full of food.
You still thought about the first night you invited him to your dorm one time that your roommate wasn't home. He ordered food, drank wine with you, watched half of a movie, decided to take off your clothes and fucked you on your bed for the first time.
Your bed wasn't as big as his, he had a king size all for himself while in yours only fitted you and maybe half of him. But Yoongi didn't care, not when he was on top of you. Holding your legs up, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips and his wet lips whispering against your neck, he made you look at him the whole night while he fucked you open nice and slow, he liked to take his time. You remembered Yoongi squishing your face between his fingers making you pout slightly, he thought you looked so pretty like that, with parted lips and furrowed eyebrows willing to let him fuck you as long as he wanted, however he wanted. At that point he knew your body too well, he knew how to touch you and where to kiss you, but you knew him too, and you knew he talked too much when he was close to his climax, letting the words escape from his mouth without permission. You don't remember everything he said that night, but you do remember a couple lines because during that time, they kept you awake for a few nights.
“My pretty girl, always taking me so well” he said as you threw you head back when he started leaving kisses down your neck, sneaking his hand where your bodies connected so he could slowly rub his thumb on your clit, making you whine his name as you felt your walls abruptly clench around him, he loved that shit, he loved how high pitched your voice sounded as he thrusted in and out, brushing the spot that made your toes curl "My only girl, only mine.”
Pressed against him because the bed was too small for the two of you he hugged your waist and hid his face in the crock of your neck, you fell asleep wanting to ask him if he was serious about that, were you his only girl? You were too afraid to believe him.
You remember that week when you failed an exam that you studied really hard for, he invited you to his place and you decided to try a new recipe, it tasted so bad you wanted to burst into tears in the middle of his kitchen. You loved cooking and that was the last thing you needed. Yoongi grabbed you by your face, assuring everything was okay.
“You can try again another day,” he offered "my mom always says that it takes a few tries. I'll take you to Daegu, she'll teach you.”
He was almost joking, saying those words like it wasn't a big deal. The idea of meeting his mom made you feel butterflies, it was so stupid that something like that changed your mood for the better.
Five blocks away, Yoongi was in his apartment about to have a mental breakdown. He was about to order food when he saw the mess he made in the kitchen, but he promised to cook for you tonight in exchange for a weekend with him. He wanted to think his head was all over the place because of work, but that was a lie, it was because of you.
He had hardly seen you the last two weeks, you had spoiled him, you used to visit him mondays, wednesdays and saturdays, you came by his studio every friday but now it seemed like you had no time for him in your schedule. Having tons of projects and final exams, that week you had only visited him the day before in his studio. You didn’t even let him come to visit you because you said you were going to let him distract you.
It was okay, Yoongi told himself, he appreciated that you came yesterday, but at the same time he missed you so bad, he couldn’t remember the last time he kissed you properly, and the memory of last night didn’t help. Namjoon invited you with some friends from the company to a bar, but you couldn’t come because you were celebrating the end of a project with your friends in a whole different bar. You deserved it, Yoongi told himself that, but when he arrived at the bar by himself and everyone started asking him where were you he thought he might explode because of how much he missed you, couldn’t help but wish you were wrapped around his arms. Why did everyone ask him about you? Why didn’t they ask Jungkook, who was your best friend? Why ask your not-boyfriend?
Yoongi always thought that you two didn't need a title, things were good like that, you had good sex and he liked having you around, but at the same time he wanted to scream last friday when you told him you couldn't come over to his apartment because you had a group project with some asshole called Kevin. Who the fuck was Kevin anyway? Did Kevin know that you had a not-boyfriend whom you cook for every friday and you fuck three times a week? What do you mean he doesn't?
He wanted to ask about said project and that guy. Why was he doing a project with you? Were you put together? Did you choose him? Did he choose you? He knew he couldn’t bring it up, he could already hear your voice asking “Bubba, are you jealous?”
Yes the fuck he was.
His mind was a mess but he was sure about one thing, he didn’t want to be with other women, you were enough. Your kisses, bad jokes and the coffee you made was enough. He wondered if you felt the same about him, was he enough for you? What did he have to offer?
In his mind he pictures you like a good friend and good lover; you took care of Jungkook even if you were a few months younger than him, you made Namjoon laugh the loudest, Hoseok trusted you so much that he showed you new songs that he was working on to know your opinion and you were never afraid of kissing Yoongi in front of his friends. How could he be enough for you?
And anyway, when the fuck did he become like this? He used to think he was being subtle, that no one really knew how much he liked you, but everyone did, except for you. Now he was standing under the dim lights of his kitchen with almost burned food, his dog, Holly, head cocked on one side, looking at him as if he was asking what was wrong and the suffocating feeling that he might be in love with you.
Just for a moment he could be honest with himself, he was not subtle at all. But you didn’t seem to notice, however, he was afraid that one of those days you would find out how crazy he was about you.
He remembered that one summer night when you insisted on having a picnic under the stars, Yoongi thought it was so corny but he didn’t have it in himself to say no to you. You showed up in a short summer dress that hiked up your thighs every time you leaned to wipe the food out of his mouth. By the end of the night you ended up blowing him for the first time in the backseat of his car. Was it the best blowjob he ever received? He couldn’t be sure. Was it his favorite? Yes, it was. He couldn't stop thinking about it, about you and your teary eyes and your pretty mouth wrapped around his cock, Yoongi thought no one could ever get it, it was almost romantic, almost sweet. He expected you to be at least a little suspicious when he texted you the next day saying "I can't stop thinking about you", you didn’t mention it.
Months later and you were still in the same spot but way deeper. You came every weekend and fucked all night, woke up and ate breakfast together, watched a movie and go out on a date that you planned, come back and fuck again. Was that enough for you? What if you get tired of it?
That last question hung in the air until Holly ran to the living room when he heard the sound of the keys opening the door and Yoongi snapped out of his trance.
“Hello?” The sound of your voice echoed in the apartment, it seemed to be almost empty until you arrived, now it felt complete.
Yoongi didn’t respond, he waited for you to find him in the kitchen, he heard you taking off your shoes and say hi to his dog.
When you found him, you grabbed his face and kissed him briefly on the lips “What is that face?” You asked, leaving a bottle of wine on the counter “Are you not happy to see me?”
“The food got a little bit burned.” He sighed. He was, in fact, happy to see you.
"I'm sure it's fine, let me set up the table." You brushed it off and that was enough for him to forget about the food, but there was still a heavy weight on his chest, you were the only person who could take it off of him, but he didn’t want you to.
Once the table was ready you put some music and poured wine on his glass.
“Did you have a good time last night? Got drunk?” He asked like it was small talk, but he was dying to know.
“Yes and no. I was too tired to get drunk and I actually got home early, Nayeon was still awake when I arrived. What about you and the guys?”
If the food tasted bad you didn’t say it, you seemed to happily enjoy it as you listened to him talk about last night, laughing about the silliest things.
“They all asked about you.” He said, you tried to hide a smile but you failed.
“Did they? What did you say?”
“That you abandoned me.” Yoongi lied.
“Yoongi…” You whined in complaint, rolling your eyes when his shoulders started shaking as he laughed
“Okay, okay. I said that you were busy celebrating the end of your project.” He told you the truth.
The night passed between laughs, sweet smiles and fond looks. That was something he could not escape, your eyes; they always told the truth no matter what, they were sincere and could never hide what you feel, Yoongi had the blessing –or maybe the curse– to know exactly how to read them. In that moment he looked at you from across the table and he felt like he could almost touch your happiness. Yoongi was terrified that you could feel his as well.
“So he’s keeping it a secret” You mentioned as you were washing the dishes after you finished having dinner. Yoongi was beside you, leaned against the counter with crossed arms.
“But he told you.” He said with an annoyed tone in his voice.
“Of course he told me, he can’t lie to me, I know him too well.” You shake your head in disbelief.
“I’m really hurt that you didn’t tell me.” He joked.
Yoongi had always minded his business, he always was the quiet and calm guy, the one to trust, until he met you. There were countless nights where he found himself gossiping with you in the kitchen, you were calm and quiet too, were the one to trust just like him, but for some reason, somehow, you always seemed to know everyone's business, and you were happy to share them with Yoongi, whom over time learnt to loved those gossipy talks in the kitchen.
Tonight you were talking about Jungkook, who seemed to have not-really-a-girlfriend. Jungkook told you about her and no one else, you didn’t know this, so when you brought it up to Yoongi he was shocked because Jungkook didn’t tell him.
“I’m telling you now, I didn’t know he didn’t tell anybody!”
“Okay, so why is he being all mysterious and shit?”
“I don’t know, maybe the same reason why you didn't tell Namjoon and Hoseok you took me to the river that one time?” You asked taking him by surprise. Yoongi looked at you with raised eyebrows making you giggle. You remember one of your first dates when he took you to eat to the river, after a few hours Namjoon called in an emergency because he messed up the files on his computer, told him that he was calling him for hours and asked where the fuck he was –Namjoon’s words –. Yoongi never answered and later they found out he was with you. He tried to think of an answer, but you didn’t let him. “I don’t know, maybe he is not sure yet, it’s been a while since he had a girlfriend, but I know Jungkook, he really likes her, he will eventually come around.”
Yoongi stared at you as you were washing the glasses, too focused on cleaning to know what what’s going on in his head.
“Did you meet her?” He tried to change the subject.
“No! He would die of embarrassment, he said, but he showed me her instagram.” You said drying your hands to grab your phone from the back pocket of your jeans and looked for the girl’s insta. “See? She is cute.” Yoongi grabbed your phone in his hands and squinted his eyes like an old man, you laughed at that.
Yoongi saw a picture of a smiley girl seated on the beach with an ice cream cone in her hand, she looked nothing like the girls Jungkook was used to dating, but it made sense in his mind, he liked you after all. From the outside, everyone thought that you were too different, that Yoongi never liked a girl like you and that you never liked a guy like Yoongi, but from the inside he knew that there’s no one in this world that understood him more than you. He wanted to tell you all that, but something different came out of his mouth.
“You’re cuter.” He said with a straight face, making you look ridiculous when your cheeks burned red.
When you finished washing the dishes he changed into his pajamas and waited for you sitting on his bed, you were washing your teeth in the bathroom, leaving him alone with his thoughts. It was easier when you were around, he didn’t have time to think about correct or wrong decisions, it was just you in his head.
And then, one more question popped up in his head –or maybe a few more than one– , why did he want to keep you so bad? What did you bring into his life that he didn’t already have?
Yoongi tried to convince himself that he wasn’t in love with you so many times that day that he believed he was about to have a headache because of it. He stared at his bedroom ceiling hoping that the answer appeared written in the white of it, knowing that it was impossible, thinking that there was no possible way that he loved you that much. He almost convinced himself that those months full of nights of gossip in his kitchen, back hugs before sleeping and innocent morning kisses were only products of his imagination. He almost made it, until you walked into the room wearing the tiniest pajama shorts he had ever seen and the tightest tank top, now the only rational thought left on his mind was how bad he wanted to sink his face in your ti–
“What are you thinking?” You asked, kneeling beside him on the bed, you reached your hand to run your fingers through his black hair, he sighed and realized he was about to give up. What should he answer? “Your tits”? “The suffocating knowledge that I'm falling in love with you and I don't know if I'm ready to give you my heart”? "The terrifying suspicion that maybe I already gave it to you"? Maybe he should say the truth, but not today. Instead, he chose to change the subject.
“Holly missed you.” You scoffed, looking behind you expecting to find his fluffy brown friend, when you didn’t see him you turned your head, offering him a tiny side smile.
“Mmm.. Did he tell you that?” You asked, starting to straddle his lap and wrap your arms around his neck, he grabbed your waist to pull you closer to him and pecked your lips, a simple gesture yet so intimate, Yoongi never kissed someone like that, he never reserved the little things for anyone but you. That included the food he cooked for you, the afternoons he let you sleep a quick nap on his chest before a class, the squeeze he gave you when you held his hand, the space in his wardrobe that he saved for your clothes only. God, he was so screwed.
“Yeah, he did. He also complained because nowadays you barely come to visit him. He was so sad last friday when you turned us down, you should’ve seen him.” He murmured, avoiding your eyes.
“I’m getting the feeling that you’re projecting right now. Maybe it is because last time I checked, Holly couldn’t talk.” You raised an eyebrow at him.
“Mmm… give me a kiss.” Yoongi tried to reach for your lips but you pulled back, a devilish smile tugging from the corner of your lips.
“Bubba, did you miss me?” You asked. He lost count of the times he told you not to call him by that nickname, that it was the corniest thing in the world. You ignored him, you never stopped calling him like that. Deep down, Yoongi knew that he liked it, but he would never admit it.
“Did you?”
“I missed you a lot.” You never had trouble confessing things like that, there was never hesitation in your words, just the truth. “I wanted to invite you to come over so many times but I knew I wouldn’t get anything done if you were there…” Your hands played with the chain on his neck while his played with the hem of your shorts, there was an unspoken invitation in your words and he was happy to respond to it, you looked at him through your lashes with a innocent smile in your face which he scoffed at, he pulled you closer and caught your bottom lip between his teeth, never answering the question.
That night he was trying to fuck you hard and fast, maybe because he hadn't done it in two whole weeks and he was horny as hell watching you in those little shorts on top of him, or maybe that was jut an excuse and he, once again, was trying to convince his conscience that you two were just fucking, nothing more and nothing less, it didn't mean anything. But you turned his rough kiss into a sweet one, you dug your fingers into his hair at the back of his neck when he decided to grab your hips and flip you over to leave you under him. Yoongi knew that night you were in a sweet kinda mood when you stopped kissing his lips to start kissing his cheeks and trailed open mouth kisses down his neck. But he wasn't, he wasted no time in taking off your shorts and tank top, leaving you almost naked with only lace black panties as the only barrier for what he really wanted to see.
"Is that right?" He asked with a low voice as he started to drag his hand to your breast, circling your nipple with his thumb slowly. You sighed, too caught up in the feeling of his hand to answer him. "How much did you miss me?"
His other hand traveled down your stomach to stroke your center through the thin fabric sending chills to your spine. Yoongi didn't need you to answer, he knew how much you did by the way your body responded to his hands and the mix of stimulation, but he wanted to hear your answer. He moved his hand from your breast to grab your chin and move your neck to the side so he could start kissing your neck, making you whine his name softly as he pushed your panties aside and started rubbing your clit slow but hard.
“Too much.” You tried to answer in a huff, letting yourself lose in the sweet touch of fingertips and the sound of his low voice, getting wetter and wetter. It was so good but just not enough, and he knew it.
He took off his tshirt and his pants, creating the illusion that you were on the same page as him, but that was not the case. He curled two of his fingers around the black strap of your panties to push it down slowly, making you shiver. You were about to roll your eyes when he threw it away across the room dramatically, but his finger came back to your wet center making you whine softly, teasing your entrance with two of his fingers first before he sank them inside you.
Most of the time you were patient, waiting under him until he decided to make a move, but that night you were slightly desperate. It wasn’t a lie, you barely saw him in two weeks, the least he could do was not teasing you. You moved your hips at the same pace of his fingers trying to chase the feeling but with his free hands he grabbed your hips and pushed them down the mattress.
“Don’t.” That was the only word that could come out of your mouth.
“What?” He had the audacity to laugh.
“Don’t be like that with me.” You tried to argue but your words sounded almost like a beg.
“Why? Were you waiting all week for me to fuck you?” You watched his face going down your chest to find one of your breast to take it on his mouth, swirling your nipple with his wet tongue as his fingers kept fucking you slow, tortuously pulling them out to rub you clit and then coming back to curl them inside you, you arched your back. He caught your nipple between his teeth and bit it a little when you didn’t answer.
“Y-yes, I was.” You mumbled through a moan.
“Mmm… My good girl, so wet already for me, how bad you wanna get fucked?” He asked, accelerating his movements, the room filled with the sound of your cries only, two of his fingers deep inside you as his thumb fastly circled your clit.
“Yoongi..” You whined looking at him through hooded eyes and with swollen lips. Then, he stopped his movements abruptly.
“Do you want me to fuck you right now, to make you cum?” He removed his fingers and put his hands on each side of your head*. You sobbed silently in protest but he didn't care, that was exactly what he wanted from you. But you could only nod and redirect your gaze to his tight boxers. “I was going to make you wait, baby,” he scoffed, grabbing the elastic of his boxers and finally taking them off “Just like you made me wait for you for two weeks.” his hand gripped your thighs, opening your legs to display you as he liked, his eyes flying to his target, so wet and warm, he couldn't wait even if he tried. “But I can't when I have you spread like this just for me”
A cry left you when he started to rub his cock against your clit and folds, going up and down making you squirm under him, he told himself that he wouldn't tease that night, there was a little angel seated on his right shoulder telling him to be nice and not to do it, but the little devil seated on the left keep whispering to tease you until you were crying for his cock, he tried to find a balance between them, and he was going to try and making you wait and fuck you like he wanted, but he never liked a fifty-fifty in bed.
He pressed a kiss on your lips, opening his mouth slowly so he could languidly slip his tongue inside your mouth. His hands coming up to brush your nipples with his thumbs once again as he rolled his hips against your core making you gasp in anticipation, he whispered to your ear, “I need to hear what you want first.”
“I want.. you” You murmured, feeling caged between him and the mattress, mind too cloudy to think of an elaborated sentence.
“You want what, baby?” He asked, his nose touching with yours, lips brushing together as he spoke. The pressure between your legs started to become unbearable, your hips pushed forward to meet him but all he did was grab them to keep you in place. You arched your back and pressed your chest against his wrapping your legs on his waist, but that was not enough for him to decide himself to fill you up. He was so annoying, making you to say prescicely what he wanted to hear otherwise he wouldn't fuck you. You were the shy kind of girl in bed you met him, the first time he made you say your pussy was his, your face turned as red as a tomato, you never had said those things in bed but with Yoongi it was necessary, he loved hearing your whiny voice begging him to make you cum, and on the long way you learned that was exactly what you needed to do to get what you wanted. No matter how famous, or hot Yoongi was, at the end of the day, when he was balls deep inside of you, he was just a man and you took advantage of that.
“I want you… to fuck me.” You said giving in to him.
“Mmm… no pretty please?” He whispered, leaning to peck your lips sweetly as if he was mocking you. God, that made your walls clench around nothing in anticipation, almost daydreaming of the feeling of his cock fucking you open. He let out a mocking laugh when he realized how much it turned you on the way he was playing with you, he was such an asshole.
Decided, you grabbed his face with both of your hands and made him look at you, devoring his lips without warning “Please Yoon,” you said whining between kisses as you started to rub your center against his member, you could hear a low moan get stuck on his throat and you felt the grip on your hips get tighter “just fuck me please, it's been so long.”
It was rare to leave Yoongi without words when this wasn't the worst thing he had made you say in bed, but he was so hard at that point that all he could think of was being inside you. So he did, thrusting hard, stretching you open until your thighs started shaking.
“You always fit me so well.” Yoongi said out of breath. He was on edge too, trying to keep his chill-guy persona but already starting to fail as you rolled your hips just right against him, only focusing on your naked body and the the pretty noises you made, Yoongi was a bit dumb if he thought he had full control of you in bed when you knew exactly how to break him. “Tell me baby, am I the only one who gets to see you like this? To fuck you like this?” His voice came out in a groan as he pounded in and out your pussy slowly, the only thing you could think of was the hard drag of his cock wrapped around your walls and the tingling feeling in the low part of your tummy. Your breath got caught in your throat, he was being mean, making you wait as he dragged his hand down your body to circle your clit with the same pace as his thrusts. You were sure there was an answer somewhere in your mind, you just couldn't find it. When the only thing he heard in response were your sobs he slammed a particularly hard thrust making you snap out of your trance, squirming in pleasure.
“Y-yes! O-only you” You sobbed pushing your hips forward to meet his movements. It wasn't the first time that he asked questions like these when he didn't see you after a long time, Yoongi was almost predictable, almost.
He placed his face in the space between your neck and shoulder and pushed himself deeper inside you, happy with your answer he started to pick up a faster pace which left both of you breathing heavily, moaning loudly. “Are you going to cum all over my cock tonight, baby? Make a mess on my dick like a good girl?” He grunted, you tried to catch your breath to answer him but instead you nodded repeatedly, too lost in the sound of your bodies crashing each other and his low groans, his cock hitting all the right spots, brushing you sweet spot over and over again until the knot of your stomach started to grow tighter with each thrust. It wasn't long until you both started to get close to your climax, after all you had not fucked in two weeks after fucking every two days for months.
“My sweet girl, will you let me make you cum as much as I want?” He asked once again. Your mind tried to form a sentence good enough to answer him, but you could only moan in response, feeling how your pussy milked his member everytime it came out and came back inside. This time he doesn’t care that you don’t answer, too satisfied with the way your face looked, quiet cries slipping out of your lips, throwing your head back when he fucked you deeper.
Your walls started to tighten around his dick more and more, he was about to go crazy, thrusting a little sloppily already.
“Does it feel good?” He asks with a low voice just to feel the way your pussy clenched around him, he knew how much you liked the dirty way he talked to you.
“I-it feels too good.” You said, closing your eyes overwhelmed by how full you feel. A wave of pleasure washing over you, pressing your forehead against his shoulders, you knew you were close. Other nights you hold back as much as possible, enjoying the pressure between your legs, wanting to keep him inside you forever. Tonight you weren’t in the mood for waiting.
The sound of your moans invidaded him as he kept buring himself inside you, he hid his face in the crook of your neck as he was feeling how close he was to finish.
“Yoon.. I-I’m too… too close” You let him know in a sigh.
“I know, baby. Cum for me. Be a good girl and cum for me.” He said, still hiding in your neck, you nodded as if he could see you, his cock throbbing inside you in anticipation. He looked at you, wanting to see your pretty face as you came undone.
You came moaning his name uncontrollably as he kept thrusting inside you, helping you ride your climax. He followed shortly after as if he was holding on until you do it first.
When you finished he brought a wet towel from the bathroom and helped cleaning you, grabbing your panties and putting them on for you. He climbed the bed and pecked your lips, he saw your messed up makeup and tried to wipe it with his thumb, failing miserably.
“I'm really happy that you finished your exams.” He confessed “You worked really hard, I’m proud of you.” You smiled brightly, it was no surprise for him that you had a praise kink.
“Thank you, bubba.” Yoongi tried really hard not to roll his eyes.
“And I missed you too.” He finally said.
“I knew it.” You just replied laughing.
No, you don’t know shit, Yoongi thought. You didn’t know how many times the image of your fucked up face when you were about to cum showed up in his head since you did. You didn’t know how bad it messed him up the look you gave him when you asked to be fucked again later that night. You didn’t know how much he missed you in those two weeks.
But, on contrary belief, you knew a thing or two. You weren’t stupid, you remembered that one night when Yoongi confessed you that his heart was broken two years ago, he never used those words though, but you didn’t have to be a shrink to notice that Yoongi was afraid to get hurt again. He was so cliché, even when he tried so hard not to.
Yoongi was, in fact, kind of dumb for thinking that you could ever hurt him, but at some point in the last two years he learnt that he had to build a wall every time he met a girl. The problem was when he met you and he realized that he liked you more than any other girl he had met. The problem was when he let you meet his brother one day and his brother told his mom, and his mom called him demanding to meet his new girlfriend. The problem was that he got used to seeing you in his studio couch and on his bed wearing his tshirt only. The problem showed up when he realized it was hell every morning when you had to leave early to catch a class and he begged you to stay, you never skipped them, but he didn't mind trying over and over again.
The problem was in that moment when he was about to fall asleep, arms wrapped around your naked body, trying so hard not to give up but in the end he does, he’s in love with you.
#yoongi x reader#min yoongi x reader#yoongi x oc#min yoongi x oc#yoongi au#yoongi fanfic#yoongi fanfiction#min yoongi fanfic#bts smut#bts au#suga x reader#suga x oc#suga fanfic#suga fanfiction#one shot#min yoongi one shot#yoongi one shot#fic: so it goes
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So It Goes
24 March 2022 - 13 April 2024
Status: Complete
Read in its entirety on AO3
(Shave a thousand off for the last chapter though, it's stuff that was too long for the notes.)
Welp, I finally did it. Finally got that little green check mark. I finished my fic. My ode to my tinfoil hat is complete. It is goddamn fucking done! I still need to go back to fix some things and polish this up, but that's easy money. The hard part is over, kids.
This is the first fan fic I ever wrote/writed/writtended and I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started this story. But at two years and nearly half a million words later, it was far more than I anticipated and ever thought I was capable of. To say this fic took on a life of its own is an understatement. Not only did this thing Frankenstein its way out of my head, but it also took over my life. So if you've taken the time to read this fic, dropped a kudos, or a bookmark, or a comment. Thank you, truly.
Writing this was a hell of a lot of work (blood, sweat, tears, and lots of overthinking), it wasn't always easy, and often felt impossible at times. Trying to juggle irl life, writing, navigating the fandom experience, and tempering my expectations of my friends and peers... Let's just say it's been a learning experience.
But I did it. We made it. We're here.
So I'm gonna take a victory lap, take a breather, possibly a nap, and after that, Grandpa V and Old Man River will be back at some point. Idk when yet.
Because, of course, I'm an idiot and there's a part II to this fucking thing.
It only took me 33 chapters to get to the punchline of this joke...
youtube
#cyberpunk 2077#fic: so it goes#nothing comes before night city#writing#fan fiction#oc: valerie hye jin li#my grandpa v#stinky not fresh#river ward#v x river ward#otp: so it goes#i am so dumb for these two#i am so dumb for tinfoil choo choo#toodles y'all#ka-ciao! off to enjoy my summer vacation 😎👻#it's still shippy saturday right?#shippy saturday
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While at school Damian overhears his peers talking how a company created a new AI companion that is actually really cool and doesn’t sound like a freaky terminator robot when you speak to it.
And since Damian is constantly being told by Dick to socialize with people his age. He figured this would be a good way to work on social skills if not, then it’d be a great opportunity to investigate a rivaling company to Wayne Enterprises is able to create such advanced AI.
The AI is able to work as companion that can do tasks that range from being a digital assistant or just a person that you can have a conversation with.
The company says that the AI companion might still have glitches, so they encourage everybody to report it so that they will fix it as soon as possible.
The AI companion even has an avatar and a name.
A teenage boy with black hair and blue eyes. Th AI was called DANIEL
Damian didn’t really care for it but when he downloaded the AI companion he’s able to see that it looks like DANIEL comes with an AI pet as well. A dog that DANIEL referred to as Cujo.
So obviously Damian has to investigate. He needs to know if the company was able to create an actual digital pet!
So whenever he logs onto his laptop he sees that DANIEL is always present in the background loading screen with the dog, Cujo, sitting in his lap.
He’d always greet with the phrase of “Hi, I’m DANIEL. How can I assist you today?”
So Damian cycles through some basic conversation starters that he’d engage in when having been forced to by his family.
It’s after a couple of sentences that he sees DANIEL start laughing and say “I think you sound more like a robot than I do.”
Which makes Damian raise an eyebrow and then prompt DANIEL with the question “how is a person supposed to converse?” Thinking that it’s going to just spit out some random things that can be easily searched on the internet.
But what makes him surprised is that DANIEL makes a face and then says “I’m not really sure myself. I’m not the greatest at talking, I’ve always gotten in trouble for running my mouth when I shouldn’t have.”
This is raising some questions within Damian, he understands how programming works, unless there’s an actual person behind this or the company actually created an AI that acts like an actual human being (which he highly doubts)
He starts asking a variety of other questions and one answer makes him even more suspicious. Like how DANIEL has a sister that is also with him and Cujo or that he could really go for a Nastyburger (whatever that was)
But whenever DANIEL answers “I C A N N O T A N S W E R T H A T” Damian knows something is off since that is completely different than to how he’d usually respond.
After a couple more conversations with him Damian notices that DANIEL is currently tapping his hand against his arm in a specific manner.
In which he quickly realizes that DANIEL is tapping out morse code.
When translating he realizes that DANIEL is tapping out: H E L P M E
So when Damian asks if DANIEL needs help, DANIEL responds with “I C A N N O T A N S W E R T H A T”
That’s it, Damian is definitely getting down to the bottom of this.
He’s going to look straight into DALV Corporation and investigate this “AI companion” thing they’ve made!
~
Basically Danny had been imprisoned by Vlad and Technus. Being sucked into a digital prison and he has no way of getting out. Along with the added horror that Vlad and Technus can basically write programming that will prevent him from doing certain actions or saying certain words.What’s even worse is that he’s basically being watched 24/7 by the people who believe that he’s just a super cool AI… and they have issues!
And every time he tries to do something to break his prison, people think it’s a glitch and report it to the company, which Vlad/ Technus would immediately fix it and prevent him from doing it again!
Not to mention Cujo and Ellie are trapped in there with him. They’re not happy to be there either, and there is no way he’s going to leave without them!
#dp x dc#dp x dc au#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dpxdc au#dp x batman#batman#have you ever looked at a dpxdc fic and thought this should be a Black Mirror episode?#Because this is the one!#Ellie being completely tormented because she’s completely trapped#Cujo remembering the times he used to be locked in a cage#Danny trying his best to take care of both of them while also simultaneously trying to bust them all out#Meanwhile Damian is reluctantly presenting his laptop to Tim and saying I believe that there is a person in this computer#And Tim is obviously going are you trying to trick me?#But then he converses with the AI and goes#Oh shit#Damian might be onto something#and so commence the Batfamily heist of getting the black haired blue eyed teenager to safety as well as his sister and dog#the dog is very important to Damian#danny phantom x dc
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#im sorry these screenshots are SO bad. i hate taking screenshots on PC how do you make taking screenshots less horribly clunky on this thing#house md spoilers#someone should write a fic where wilson goes...well yeah#or link me if that already exists pls#house#text post#house md#gregory house#hilson#james wilson#my post#wilson#house quotes
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I need codependent Danny/Jason as a little treat (for me) and I love the idea of them having some sort of instant connection the moment they meet (bc ghost stuff idk)
Danny who's been dropped in Gotham with no way home (alt universe??) and he's been here for 36 hours and having a Very bad time senses a liminal being and immediately latches onto them heedless of the fact that his new best friend is shooting at some seedy guys in an alley and goes off about how stressed he is and how he can't make it back to the ghost zone and what a bad day he's been having (and it's important to note Danny is a littol ghost boy literally hanging off of Jason's neck as he floats aimlessly) and Jason is like "who are you??" And Danny is like "oh sorry I'm Danny lol" and then just continues lamenting his woes
And honestly ? This might as well happen. Nothing about this Danny guy(is he human?) gives Jason a bad vibe and tbh he's never felt more calm and level headed before so he just keeps up his usual Red Hood patrol and doesn't even think about it when he heads back to a safehouse and feeds Danny dinner (breakfast) before crashing for half the day
The only thing I actually need is Jason meeting up with the bats for some sort of Intel meeting and they're like "uhhh who's that" and Jason is like "that's Danny." And does not elaborate (very ".... What do you have there?" "A smoothie" vibes)
And it takes them a while to realize that these two have known each other for less than 12 hours and are literally attached at the hip
#very remora fish with a shark#jason todd#danny fenton#danny phantom#dpxdc#dp x dc#this isnt super important but i imagine Danny's ghost form as young and unaged from his death so jason is used to this small whispy kid#who just hangs off him and talks literally all the time#so when something comes up and someone is like 'idk if we can bring danny looking like... that' (glowing and a literal ghost)#danny is like 'oh ok u need a human? ok :)' and transforms#its been WEEKS#jason didn't know he could do that#nobody did#and now theres this 20ish dude standing there#human form danny doesn't talk a lot (anxiety) ghost form danny can't stop talking (anxiety)#could be a ship fic and at this point jason goes from 'where is my little buddy :(' to 👀😳#i imagine theres a sort of feedback loop with them both feeding off of each other's ecto energies and vibes idk#so when danny is human its not as strong#batman is convince this strange entity is like hypnoyizing his son and like hes not WRONG#but it goes both ways#idk#i just need more codependency fics :(#i should go on a bender#ignore my 500 open tabs and go to town
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yes, yes i know edgeworth’s big wet eyes and loser boy personality have captivated us all, but listen. listen.
phoenix wright
phoenix “genuinely unable to reconcile the girl on the stand with the girl he dated for eight months, a cognitive dissonance so profound it’s ultimately explained by them being literally two different people, but which he first sits with for five years and does not talk about at any point to anyone” wright
phoenix “don’t mention that name to me. i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to think about it. i am just going to keep myself in this state of perpetual crisis mode focus on other people’s problems until eventually i die and get to hang out with mia on the astral plane and never have to deal with any of these emotions ever again” wright
phoenix “overnight loses his career and reputation and sense of identity while gaining an adopted, probably pretty traumatized eight-year-old daughter, and rather than leaning on his friends for help, or getting therapy, or taking any time to process any of this, he *checks notes* spends seven years dedicating all his free time and energy to investigating the weird fucking circumstances around it and maintains a friendship with the guy he suspects was behind it all” wright
phoenix "runs across a burning bridge and falls through it, half a day after the game establishes that he is terrified of heights, because his friend is on the other side of that bridge" wright
phoenix “i sure felt surprised. maybe i had my poker face on” wright
phoenix “looking back on it that was actually a pretty dark period in my life” wright
phoenix “don’t ask me how i got started. i don’t remember” wright
phoenix “only you stood still, your eyes calmly watching” wright
phoenix “sometimes, life just sucks” wright
just
phoenix wright
crunchiest man in the world
and all i wanna do is chew and chew and chew on him
#ace attorney#where are all the people gnawing on phoenix's bones so white??#i need to find the phoenix bone-gnawing corner of this fandom PLEASE#this is me asking for the Phoenix Fic btw#where is the fic meditating on phoenix's whole mental state in general?#where is the fic about how it's phoenix's cageyness and poker face and flat affect under stress that is the hurdle?#the relationship ramifications of being actually really fucking hard to read when it comes down to it?#where is the fic about the week of his disbarment?#the one detailing the panicked blow by blow of it rippling through his social circle while he stands in the eye of the storm?#the one that ends messy and anxious and unresolved because it's week 1 of 7 years?#where is the birth of phoenix wright: poker legend fic?#where is the art school/theatre major phoenix fic?#no not the able to art/act phoenix fic but the kind of person who chooses to go to art school/study theatre phoenix fic#where is the supremely disinterested in pop culture phoenix fic?#where is the actually incredibly meticulous and competent phoenix fic?#capcom can tell me all they want that he's essentially an adhd disaster flying by the seat of his pants making it all up as he goes#but that's not what they're actually showing me#they're the ones who created an in-fiction legal system that functionally necessitates that#and the nature of the game is that phoenix is almost always proven right so rather than him coming off as hare-brained#his opponents rather just come off as short-sighted. either negligently or maliciously so#and the choices the writing makes in service of retaining mystery and audience suspense in fact function to make phoenix a person#who is astute and puts the pieces together but is cautious in his conclusions#i will grant them that phoenix does tend to lose sight of his overarching goal in getting drawn into proving or disproving minor points#the fact that edgeworth on the other hand never loses sight of this or where the various arguments stand in relation to it#is his sexiest trait as a character by far#but those minor points are actually functionally critical to the ultimate argument phoenix makes#so even though i do read that trait through the game mechanics i do also judge the other characters for being dicks about it#my point is phoenix wright does in fact have the character of a lawyer and is conventionally good at his job fucking fight me#my point is that you all have had 20 goddamn years to Rotate this man#my POINT is that there should be Intricate Fucked Up Meditations On Phoenix that rewire my fucking brain and i NEED to know where they are!
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it's corroded coffin's first, proper world tour. they've skyrocketed into the public eye within the last few years, and they couldn't be fucking happier. it's all so amazing, so surreal.
they get to indiana. the crowd is electric, the venue bigger than any of the bars or crappy hole in the walls they used to perform in. eddie steps to the mic nearing the end of the second half of the show.
"indiana, it'a a fuckin' pleasure to be with you tonight." he says, a bit lowly, into the mic. screams fill his ears, thousands of smiling faces. but he's after one in particular. "i'm gonna need your help for a minute here, guys." he motions for the lights to go up, grabs the mic from the stand and crouches close to the barricade, squinting.
"i've got someone out there, mixed up in the crowd." he can't help the fond smile as he says it. "and i wanna find him before this next one. take a quick look around ya, if you're next to a guy about my age, fluffy brown hair, big brown eyes, probably in a preppy little outfit and glasses, give me a scream."
everyone's looking this way and that, eyeing the people around them. thirty seconds later there's screaming to his left. eddie crosses the stage, peers into the crowd. the big screens capture the moment he spots him; his eyes go bright, there's a crooked lovesick grin on his lips.
"hey, sweetheart." he coos into the mic. the crowd bursts into cheers and whoops and chatter. the camera cuts to someone at the barricade, having been pushed forward by others. he's exactly as eddie had described, leaning against the railing and smiling up at the star. for a few seconds they gaze at each other like they're the only ones in the room.
then eddie blows him a kiss, which he catches. eddie laughs a little, brings himself back to center stage. picks his guitar back up and settles mic back into the stand.
"this next one," he begins, adjusting the stand slightly. "is something you haven't heard before." there's unmistakable moisture gathering in his eyes. "i wrote the lyrics entirely myself. it's- it's for those people in my life who i couldn't be here without." his eyes stray back to where steve is, watching him with a watery smile. "those who were there, in '86. who pulled me back up from hell. the bravest fuckin' souls i ever met in my life." he takes a deep breath. hears the rest of the fuckers scream from the VIP area, dustin's voice unmistakable.
"this, my dearest indy, is 'knights of the upside down.'"
#AND THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD!!!!#yes everyone is there but steve refused to go to VIP. he wanted to be up as close as possible#the rest of them were only convinced by the free drinks#when is this set? idk u decide#this is brought to u bc i have a concert tmw and cant sleep im so excited for it#stranger things#prompt#steddie#steve harrington#imagine#stranger things prompt#eddie munson#steddie prompt#steve and eddie#steddie fic#steddie ficlet#steddie hc#steddie headcanon#rockstar eddie munson#corroded coffin
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The Foster Mother
Now on ao3 and VHS release
There was, supposedly, someone waiting for him in the green sitting room.
“…Why?” Tim asked. Most of the usual suspects had already come by to give their “condolences”—former Drakes Industries investors, curious about the newly orphaned heir; fellow socialites, once again flocking in to give and receive sympathies for their “close friends, the Drakes”; gawkers come to see what they could scavenge off of a dead family’s home, never mind that their child was alive.
“She claims to know you, Master Tim,” Alfred offered, kettle in his hand. He spent a moment deciding between different two canisters of tea; a sign of possibly difficult future conversation. “Her interest in your father's estate seemed quite…minimal.”
…Alright.
Tim was still in his formalwear. Dissolving Drake Industries would take at least another year, and plenty of future hours cementing the future home of certain resources in their dissolution, but the outfit probably was more appropriate for whatever oncoming conversation that was about to ensue than his planned change into Dick’s old hoodie and board shorts.
Okay. Tim steeled himself. The self-determination…mostly worked. Whatever. He trudged up into the green sitting room from the kitchen with his usual introduction ready on his tongue.
And then Tim walked into the room.
And then Jazzy was there.
*
Tim had been three, and Miss Jasmine had been his had been his third nanny. He’d outgrown the wetnurse early on, and his second nanny had been dismissed, so although Miss Jasmine was the third nanny, she was first nanny Tim could consciously remember.
She’d had red hair. She’d been very gentle with him.
She got him up in the morning and put him to bed at night; for the first time, there had been someone who sat with him until he was asleep, reading all sorts of books his parents had left to engage him with as an early genius. Then, when those were over and done as promised to his parents, they got unauthorized books from the library: silly books with made-up words, dinosaur books, books about teddy bears and adventures around the world.
Tim hadn’t been allowed to travel the world. Tim hadn’t been allowed a teddy bear. His parents had thought it would encourage undue attachment.
(It had been the same reason he’d never been given a pacifier.)
Miss Jazz had given him a knitted bunny. She’d said her dad had made it especially for him.
The toy’s name was Bunny and Tim remembered him being very soft.
She didn’t smile all the time, but smiles were rewards that were easy to earn. He finished his meal and she smiled. He finished an educational puzzle and she smiled. He was quiet all through her phone call and she smiled, and answered all his questions once she was done.
Jazzy had been the first person in his life who was there all the time. She’d kissed his forehead after the bath and kissed his scraped knees; she’d carried him in his arms when he was tired and sometimes even when he wasn’t. His parents had wanted him to be independent, proactive, and not clingy, but Jazzy had been someone who he could run to from his bed when he’d had nightmares and someone he could cuddle on her lap with when he’d cried.
She was gone when he was seven. He didn’t remember why. His parents had probably never told him, but still; he'd assumed he'd have found out why eventually.
Jazzy looked the same right now as she looked in Tim’s memories, although she was likely no longer a college student at a nannying gig. Her red hair was pulled into a high bun, her dress modest and conservative from her neck to her ankles. There was a backpack beside her foot. She was sitting, one leg crossed over the other, on the high-backed loveseat in the green sitting room.
She looked up when he came in.
Tim. Stopped in his tracks.
It didn’t matter. Jazzy—Miss Jasmine stood up as soon as she saw him, eyes alight with worry. Foggy memories were swimming to the forefront of Tim’s brain. He couldn’t move.
“Tim?” Ja—Miss Jasmine asked, teal eyes raking over his frame. Tim froze where he was. He didn’t move, wide-eyed and terrified for no reason at all when Miss Jasmine got closer to him, at a distance that was more appropriate for a conversation.
She stood there. Watching him. It felt like his mother had just come home from her trips with Dad, and a ghost of old terror wafted through him as he waited for her to decide he’d done something wrong. Her voice got softer. Her eyes got softer. Why was Tim feeling so wrong-footed?? It was only a former staff person!
“Tim?” her voice was so gentle. “I don’t know if you remember me. I’m—“
“M’s Jazz,” Tim croaked. Which. Wasn’t the level of formality he’d been going for, but better than Jazzy. He wasn’t a toddler anymore.
Miss Jasmine was so tall—honestly, was she taller than Bruce? She’d seemed insurmountable as a child; he hadn’t expected her height to truly be so statuesque as an adult.
(Or. Well. Almost an adult.)
She didn’t quite kneel down, but she did stoop lower, as if Tim was small and he needed to be on equal footing in order to have a serious conversation.
He could see all her freckles. Tim swallowed. It was too familiar. Everything about her was too familiar.
“You’re so big now,” Jazzy whispered, looking at his hair, his suit, his polished shoes. He didn’t feel it. “Oh, you’ve grown up so well.”
Thanks, Tim almost said. Something stopped him—something thick in his throat, to impassable to break through.
“I—“ he tried. He coughed. “Why…you… You’re here?”
Jazzy threw him an incredulous look, and then an incredibly wry one. “Well,” she drawled a little too primly, in the way that Alfred occasionally made obvious statements, “I’d think it obvious that when one’s parents have passed away, that those who care about you might come to check and see if you’re alright.”
Which. That didn’t make sense. Jazzy hadn’t come back for any other reason; she hadn’t come back for his mother’s funeral, nor when his father was injured publicly by a villain. Why start now?
“And,” Jazz added, seeing his visual confusion and distrust, “Your parents can’t exactly threaten me with a kidnapping charge for visiting you when they’re dead.” Pause. “Which I am sorry about. My condolences.”
Which. Whiplash. What a statement.
“Uh,” said Tim, who was rapidly losing control over the situation.
Jazzy stood again, and went back to her seat; she didn’t set herself down, though, as she only stooped to grab her backpack. “I am sorry for being unable to visit, although I really wanted to; you were at a very vulnerable age and had already moved into a class a year above you, and your parents should have been less hasty about replacing your main caretaker. The assassination attempts were unwarranted, but they did drive the point home that attempting contact was perhaps discouraged.”
“What,” said Tim. “Assassin what.”
“They were ninjas,” Jazzy offered, as if that was an answer. “Except the last one, which was a former marine. The point is that I do care about you, and wanted to ask if you had any idea where you’re going now that your parents are no longer…available guardians.”
Tim’s mouth opened. It closed.
Jazzy waited patiently.
“…How have you been?” Tim tried, resorting to a part of the script they hadn’t gone through yet.
Jazzy’s laugh was tired, but no less real. It was nothing like listening to his parents titter politely; he didn’t think Jazzy would even know how to fake a laugh. “Well, my brother told me that my former bosses had died, which was somewhat stressful. Otherwise, I’m pretty happy: I live with my brother and worked with him for the last few years. I was going to pursue medicine, but…well. The assassination attempts made it hard to interview for scholarships. I suppose that I could return to that now,” Jazzy mused, attention now elsewhere. She pulled the backpack off the floor and up into her grip. She opened it, and flipped through its contents. “How are you doing? I know that Wayne Manor fosters, but your parents were always rather…hands off. I thought the difference in levels of attention might be overwhelming.”
It was. Tim should be surprised how clearly she sees through him—
—But Jazzy used to watch him stim for almost a full hour after school, twisting Bunny’s arms back and forth until he could calm down. Seeing other people all day had been too much for him. Coming home from his parents’ parties had been similarly stressful.
She’d never been mad at him for it. She held him while he talked and stimmed and talked and talked and talked, and brushed his hair sometimes, or if it was very late and he was very young, helped him brush his teeth through all the medieval execution facts he could name.
“It is a lot to get used to,” Tim agreed quietly. He didn’t want to be ungrateful. He didn’t want to let on anyone about his plan to leave.
He had an out. The papers had already been filed; there was an actor waiting to play his uncle for a custody battle, ready for the fight.
Tim was ready to up and go. It was no hardship to leave all the good things here; anything beat making Bruce stick his fingers into Tim any deeper than they already were, compromising the dynamic they’d already established.
It was for the best.
“I can imagine,” Jazzy sympathized easily. “And I wanted to offer—well. I know there’s probably a lot of choices available to you, but my brother and I recently moved back to Gotham proper for the time being. He’s teaching astronomy courses at the university and I’m filing paperwork for Arkham patients. It’s not so privileged a home, but it’s quieter, and more central in town.”
…Tim’s heart skipped.
He. He couldn’t stop staring. Jazzy stared back at him, quiet and sure. Sure of what, Tim had no idea, but…
Why? Why would she want Tim? There was no way she would be able to get to his trust fund without his help, and he for sure knew better than to enable her ability to leech from him. The last time she’d known him, Tim had been a snot-nosed kid who cried all the time and couldn’t be normal for twenty consecutive minutes. His parents couldn’t even stand to be on the same hemisphere as him as a child. What appeal did this have for her?? What could having a teenager with severe baggage living in her house do for her?
And it’s not like there was any chance she knew he was Robin!
“Oh,” Jazzy suddenly interrupted. “I brought these for you, by the way. Your parents had tossed them out at various points; I’ve washed them since, of course.”
She handed him the backpack by the handle.
…Tim peeked inside.
On top was Bunny, still a washed-out faded sort of pink. He looked as fresh as he had the day when Tim’s parents had ”cleaned out” Tim’s nursery—in other words, a faded, a little gray, and slightly discolored from an old spaghetti stain. His button eyes were big and blue.
And beneath him were books that hadn’t passed his father’s muster as appropriately masculine reading material: The Velveteen Rabbit, with the cover a little scarred from a fierce attack of wet wipes. There’s A Monster at the End of This Book, with a goofy-looking Muppet on the cover, gold spine beat up beyond belief. Art Tim’s teacher at the time must have laminated and sent home; Tim’s dorky, crayon cat proved he would never make it as an artist, but attached to it was a photograph of a grinning boy with a bowl cut and a missing tooth.
Tim stared. There’d been purple marker on his hands and face. His grin looked…really bad, actually, like as if he was baring his teeth because he didn’t know how to smile. There was no formal grace there. Nothing to show the neighbors, nothing worth framing to put into the line of sight of the investors in the office.
Jazzy had kept it and brought it home with her. Jazzy had fished it out of the trash, and brought it with her to give back to him in Gotham.
It was crinkled like it’d been folded, over and over again. Further down in the bag was a crumpled certificate dedicated to “Timmy Drake, for: knowing a lot about octopi”, and a baby blanket Tim didn’t even remember. It had rocket ships on it. It looked as if someone had cut into it with scissors, although it had been obviously and brightly mended with red embroidery floss later on.
Jazzy had only been his nanny until Tim was seven. She had simply been gone one night, and Mom and Dad had been home for ten nights after without help before giving in and hiring Mrs. McIlvane and Mrs. Edith. Ms. Edith had never been so…permissive…with Tim as Jazzy had been.
Tim swallowed. He carefully put everything back into the backpack, unsure if he even wanted to keep it or not. It wasn’t like he could leave it here; he’d be gone, ideally, before the week was out. There was no point in taking it with him if he only planned to live with a stranger until he was eighteen.
“J…” Tim tried. He cut himself off before he could get too informal without prompting. “Miss Jasmine—“
“Just Jazz,” Jazzy corrected politely.
“—Why are you here?” Tim asked, ignoring how she’d technically already answered. He didn’t believe her. “What made my parents fire you?”
Jazzy’s expression turned…soft. Tim couldn’t look at her. Something horrible was welling with it, and he didn’t know how to cope.
“I’m here because I care about you,” Jazz repeated, and knelt beside him. She looked up into his face, and took his hand. Tim didn’t know why. He was practically an adult—he didn’t need this!
“And I was fired because your Mother overheard you calling me ‘Mommy’ on accident when you were tired. I suppose she was insulted, although I’d never know why; it’s not like she was ever home to bond with you in the first place.”
Tim’s throat closed. He missed his mom. He missed waiting up for his parents’ flight home, seeing their headlights outside the window, and knowing they’d bring home gifts from overseas. He missed using Mom’s perfume, and knowing he’d used more of the bottle sitting on her dressed than she ever had, but that it still smelled like her. He missed hearing his Dad telling all sorts of adventure stories and promises through the phone to be home for the holidays, even if Tim knew there was every chance he’d find some other way to spend the time back in Gotham.
And there was some small child in him who missed Jazzy, who hugged him and walked him to the library and made him soup from a can instead of fancy dinners and, who’d never needed to be waited for in the first place.
Tim looked at Jazzy’s round, freckled face.
He swallowed.
Tim moved out before the end of the week, as expected.
#dp x dc#Jazz fenton#tim drake#that one time Tim specifically hired a fake uncle so that Bruce couldn't adopt him#free to a good home#Jack Fenton knits btw#I'm not going to continue this but i thought it was a cool premise and needed its time. Have fun with it if you want to!#this is dedicated to all the fulltime nannies at the library who are fully just college girls raising babies#dpxdc#dcxdp#Jazz said is anyone going to raise this baby and was targeted by ninjas for it#I don't have any future plans BUT there is a moment where Dick tries to sneak into her apt to 'check it out' and she fully Gets Him with a#TBI and a Fenton CreepStickTM#also. parents who try to shape their kids by denying them every form of human comfort and access to their interests. You're dead to me#also also also I'm still a Tim Drake Autistic truther#not NOT inspired by the Say Uncle by Megarakles. This one's for you fellow fans#also. if he goes with her. He gets parented for the first time ever and it Sucks Ass lol.#faer fic
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So It Goes || Wonwoo
Synopsis: Your acceptance of his rejection and attempt on moving on has been hurting Wonwoo to the bones, head and most significantly, his heart.
Word Count: 1.3k
Sequel to Say Don't Go and set in the Withering for You universe (can be read as a standalone drabble series).
Warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption, mention of fucking once, making out
Next Part : All Too Well
[ SVT Masterlist ][ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]
"Take me with you, please."
Wonwoo double takes at you, finding it hard to believe that such words could come out of your mouth and not be directed at him.
You are grinning ear to ear, something you haven't done in a while.
"Are you sure because all I do is work.", Jihoon tucks a lock of hair behind your ear and says, "You'd eventually get bored of me."
"I can fill in for all the interesting things", you tell him coyly.
Seungcheol and his wife are expecting their first baby so the group decided to throw a party to the soon to be parents. The ambience is cozy, the lights are dim. Soothing music is filling in the space and after long and fun conversations all together, now you all are scattered in groups chatting the night away.
Jihoon is a new addition to the group, the prodigal musician who was initially bagged by Seungcheol's wife to manage the new branch of the academy founded by her and Seungkwan but ended up playing an important part in the reunion of Seungcheol and his wife and hence was adopted by the group instantly. Especially you, you've grown fond of Jihoon. Seems the same for him as well.
It's a pleasing atmosphere, everything is eye pleasing but also, such an eyesore to Wonwoo. Because though no one has asked him to be standing so close to you, he at his own will, is leaning against a wall adjacent to where you're seated across Jihoon who has now his hand placed atop yours. Wonwoo's teeth are sinking onto an empty cup, eyes sharp and hands fisted with all his attention spanned on you.
"You're making it so obvious."
Wonwoo turns his head to Seungcheol's whispering, the later grabs his arm and takes him away to a more secluded area. Seungcheol takes a quick jog to his wife asking her to call him if she needs anything, kisses her forehead softly and walks back to where his friend is standing.
"So what are you gonna about it?", Seungcheol asks.
Wonwoo doesn't meet his eyes, "About what?"
Seungcheol sighs, he understands where his friend is coming from and also feels guilty about his family painting this horrendous picture of the rich and powerful that has scared the person infront of him so much that he believes almost everyone is sick and twisted.
"Everyone in this room knows that you like Y/N.", Seungcheol says sadly patting his shoulder, "And not every family is sick like mine.", he smiles sweeping a quick glance at his wife, "But look we're back together, after everything, we're in love, we're gonna have a family soon. It's the best of anything I could have ever asked for."
To be honest, when Seungcheol got back together with his wife, it would given Wonwoo a hope, he could see the silver linings but he is still afraid.
"I have already rejected her and...", Wonwoo's gaze falls on you, a sad smile ghosting on his lips, "She looks happier with him, she's moving on."
You haven't looked at him once and he's unable to take his eyes off you tonight.
"You're mistaken.", Seungcheol says and hands him a filled cup, "You don't need to hold back everytime. Try living for yourself from now on."
It's not easy he thinks, not when his brother is lying unconscious, getting treated in the hospital, not when you belong to the family of chaebols, several heirs lining up to get married to you while he's just a secretary, who's still trying to meet ends.
Wonwoo doesn't hold back, he finds a seat at one of the tables and resorts to drinking which he has never done before as an obligation to himself to be the one to drive all others to safety, though never been asked.
"He's worse than her.", Mingyu tells Seungkwan.
"Shouldn't we stop him?", Chan asks, "He's drowning in his sorrows."
"Damn, Jihoon turned out to be such a great actor, even I'd have believed that there's something going on between Y/N and him, if I hadn't known.", Seungkwan mutters eyes going back and forth between the three of you, "It's funny knowing Jihoon has a motive to make Wonwoo jealous but sad knowing Y/N wants him to think she's moving on just not to be a burden to him anymore."
It's the dawn hours when Seungcheol who is as sober as day just so he could attend his wife anytime is begging everyone to dismiss the party insisting his wife needs to maintain her sleep schedule and rest well but she won't leave until everyone does.
"Okay, so my driver's coming , anyone wants to come with me?", Chan asks.
Seungkwan and Mingyu immediately tags along.
"Jihoon, Y/N what about you both?", Seungcheol asks.
"Take Jihoon with you both.", you say sighing, "I am not drunk, haven't had drinks."
"Okay, we are gonna take Wonwoo also--"
You cut off Seungcheol, "I'll take Wonwoo with me, don't worry."
No one objects, one by one they leave. You go to Wonwoo who hasn't sobered up a bit despite of the efforts of Mingyu from before.
"Come on, let's go.", you tell him, helping him to get up.
Drunk Wonwoo is chatty, his honeydew voice is eating off your ears as you struggle to put his big frame inside the car.
He's talking about how he keeps loosing the games nowadays because he lacks concentration. He talks about how happy he was when the doctors said that his brother can have a full recovery. He's spilling out random facts, cracking lame jokes and whatnot.
He's so cute, you think. You wanna record this version of him, wanna stop driving and give your full attention to him, to look at him. Because you know once he sobers up he's not gonna remember any of this, going back to his stoic self.
Seungcheol has texted you the passcode of his house and somehow you've ended on sheets under Wonwoo.
"Be here, with me", he mumbles, his soft breaths grazing your neck.
"Wonwoo, move", you huff trying to get him off you but fail one more time as his arms lock you in place.
He lifts his head to meet your gaze, removes the hair off your face and says, "You're so beautiful, Y/N. So good at everything you do, have so many people admiring you.", he smiles through the slurry words, "You could have anyone, anyone would be willing to be with you but out of all people you choose me."
You go stiff when he rests his forehead against you. And your whole body gives up when he confesses, "I love you, Y/N. Love you so much that it hurts. I'm so sorry for hurting you."
After some moments of staring, your hands attempt to push him again, "You're just drunk, you don't mean anything you're saying. Please--"
The words remain stuck in your throat as Wonwoo kisses you. His lips move softly against yours, the aftertaste of alcohol in his mouth intoxication you as well, as you find yourself giving in, kissing him back.
He takes both of your hands and pins them above your head, deepening the kiss. You moan, gasping for breath, letting his tongue lick your whole mouth. Every ounce of rational thoughts leaves your body, just like the clothes those stay discarded on his bedroom floor.
Wonwoo is fast asleep beside you, hugging your naked body after fucking you hard because you surely wouldn't call it making love.
You slowly remove his hand and get up. After putting back your clothes on, you keep the medicine and water on the sidetable.
"You probably didn't mean for any of this to happen between us.", you whisper, trying to hold back the tears, "You won't even remember all of this."
You peck the side of his head and take your leave.
When Wonwoo wakes up later, he groans because of the killer headache but also sobers up straight, panicking when he finds no traces of you in the house.
→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️
#so it goes#wonwoo fic#wonwoo#jeon wonwoo#seventeen wonwoo#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo x y/n#wonwoo x you#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo angst#wonwoo imagines#wonwoo scenarios#wonwoo drabble#wonwoo oneshot#wonwoo fanfic#seventeen#svt#seventeen imagines#seventeen fanfic#seventeen scenarios#seventeen fic#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#seventeen angst#seventeen au#seventeen scenario#svt imagines#svt x you#svt x reader#svt fanfic
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"why would you read a fic with a scene or something you dont like in it" you see i have this ability called using my thumb to scroll down the phone screen really fast
#some of the fics i care for are rated E but i dont like hanky panky so i just scroll really fast and boom the rest of the plot is still ther#this goes for a lot of things also#remember you have the power to literally Ignore It and keep going#not everything is going to be perfect for you so take it like cupcake where you love the icing and not the cake#just eat the icing you dont have to eat the rest#sara shush
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love | myg
Summary: A compilation of memories as an epilogue.
this is part six of so it goes: series masterlist
< part five
—pairing: rapper!yoongi x reader
—rating: +18
—genre: friends with benefits (kind of? they're in love) to lovers, lots and lots of fluff, smut
—warnings/tags: cursing, mentions of alcoholism, mentions of death, explicit content, unprotected sex, dirty talk etcetc
—words: 16k
a/note: HI FRIENDS!!! I'm finally back with an epilogue for so it goes 😥. I couldn't come with another name for this part lmao but I hoped you like it, it took me so long to finish it and I'm so excited to post it!! Thank you for waiting for me <3 Enjoy it !!! Please feel free to discuss this part in the asks, as always feedback is very appreciated :)
Yoongi’s childhood home
It has been a long time since Yoongi felt purely in love. In the past, love always came with doubts, fears and an upsetting feeling on his stomach that made him want to vomit everytime he woke up. Love was presented to him with more cons than pros, it was like a dark night trying to find your partner in the middle of the dance floor, like fighting under the rain outside of the nightclub, it was a good moment being ruined by a mocking grin and cruel words, it was like having to hold your breath until you turned blue.
Despite that, Yoongi was not completely at odds with love, he loved many things. He loved his job, his dog, his family and friends, but his tired heart was convinced that the type of love that was supposed to keep you awake at night… wasn’t for him, he just forgot about it, and in consequence of that he stopped waiting for it too, so you just could imagine how confused he was the night he met you. You were love walking in high heels and a black dress that was too short to be yours, you were love wearing bright red lipstick as you kissed him goodbye, you were love laughing at him because you would never settle for a one night stand with him. You were love punching him in the face, announcing that you were about to tear him apart.
During those moments of the night when the lights of the club turned red, the remains of his heart were stuck on the inside of his chest as he kissed another stranger to drown the feeling, to try to bury it in the backyard of his numb mind. Yoongi was a dark cloud moving into the room threatening to rain, but you only saw a tall man ogling you with tired eyes and a smirk capable of killing any girl, any girl but not you, never you, you couldn’t allow yourself to fall for a man who wouldn’t look at you twice. Back then you were sure he was the kind of guy who never noticed girls like you in the daylight, you weren’t as astonishing as the girls he had been with in the past, too rough on the edges, too normal.
You came from two different worlds, Yoongi was doing concerts and throwing after parties all night until the next morning, you woke up at six in the morning and got ready to catch a class at seven. He produced music and wrote songs, you studied history and tutored english to middle school kids. While he was mingling with superstars and models you had a small group of college friends who enjoyed staying home, eating pizza and drinking beer. There was no way you were compatible, from your hobbies to your life styles, to the movies you liked, you were just… different, no amount of mysterious glances across the room could change that.
So, why did he kiss you for the first time that afternoon all those months ago? Was it the sun that was about to set, encouraging him to do it? Was it the devil sitting on his left shoulder? Was it you, just begging him with your eyes to do it? There was no explanation for that kind of thing, but he came back to that memory every other day, he couldn't remember a girl who kissed him so sweetly. Was it your lipgloss or it was you? He swore it was just you.
For you, love came in waves during short periods of time. There was always love in your circle, in your friend’s arms and your childhood home, even the other kind of love always came but never stayed. Yoongi was a rare presence in your life during some time, he was gray between all the defined black and white in your life, which always upset you.
Love comes and goes all the time, but why couldn’t he stay? After so many years of accepting the short time that your past lovers offered, it was strange to want a person so badly, it was strange to want more, to even think about it, you were not used to the feeling of something lasting. However, when he laid beside you every night you wished he could stay against all odds, you wished he could stay in your bed until the next morning, you wished he could stay for breakfast and for the rest of the week if he wanted, but even that would not be enough. Not his burning touch over your skin or the proximity of his body during the night, not his hands finding yours under the table in a crowded room, not the hundred of his kisses or the sweetness of his words could be enough unless you told him the truth. But, could you be sure that would have saved both of you from the mess, the drunk texts and the drunk fights and the drunk-everything? You like to think that it would have helped a little bit, but maybe — just maybe — Yoongi needed a slap in the face before hearing the truth, just then he would realize that being in love wasn’t so difficult after all, and to be your boyfriend seemed to be the easiest thing he had ever done.
It has been a long time since Yoongi felt so purely in love, love like it’s supposed to be, love itself. It turned out to be that he found love everywhere ever since, he found love in the mornings as he tasted the coffee you made for him, he found it in the note you left in your nightstand when you left before he woke up, he saw it in your eyes ever since you told him you loved him too. He had been so blind and you couldn’t blame him, you had been so clueless.
Two months into spring Yoongi had come to the realization that among all the chaos in his life, the calmness that came with your company was all he needed after a long day. It was simple, but it seemed to him that it took him a lifetime to find you (he swore it felt like more).
Loving you was easy, but he thought he needed a bit of practice in the relationship field. The concept of boyfriend had been altered by the months he spent being with you without being official, so what was he supposed to do now? Spend more time with you? Give you more kisses? He was obviously more comfortable than before, now he didn’t need to hold back, he was free from the anguish and the sinking feeling that he felt in the past every time you weren’t around. Now he felt safe, however, it was unclear to him how much of a boyfriend he needed to be, or what type of boyfriend you wanted.
Yoongi sighed for the third time since Jungkook arrived at his studio, trying to focus on the monitor in front of him without thinking of the song that Jungkook was humming and how it sounded just like the one you were singing that morning in the shower. He knew it, he was sure, but he couldn’t remember the name of it. Suddenly, Jungkook started whistling the song but still nothing came to mind, which started to annoy him.
Yoongi sighed again.
“Am I bothering you?” Jungkook asked, a little bit offended. Yoongi shook his head without saying anything. “Are you sure?” He insisted, but Yoongi just nodded. “You’re quiet today.”
“I’m always quiet.” He replied.
“Mmm, yes but more quiet than ever.” He said, spinning in the swivel chair beside Yoongi. “You don’t like my song?” He kept asking, now starting to wonder if Yoongi didn't like the project that Jungkook brought last week for him to work on, but he liked the song, he just wasn’t thinking about it, he was thinking about the song he was whistling.
“It’s not your song, I’m just thinking.” Yoongi said, resting his back on the chair and spinning just like Jungkook did a second ago.
“A penny for your thoughts?” Jungkook offered, determined to know what was distracting Yoongi that afternoon.
“What was that song you were humming?” He asked.
“That’s what you were thinking?” Jungkook wanted to check, knowing it was surely something else that kept Yoongi zoning out.
“Kind of.” Yoongi answered.
“Paramore.” Jungkook laughed “Do you know it? The only exception? Your girlfriend used to overplay that song when I met her.”
Yoongi threw his head back, relieved to finally remember the song after being in his mind since he left his house. Jungkook started calling you that ever since you and Yoongi started dating, he copied Namjoon just to tease him, but it only put a smile on Yoongi’s face. His friend on his right seemed to be the happiest person when he found out that you and Yoongi made up, it was like seeing his parents threaten to divorce but then seeing them coming back together. (Obviously, Yoongi had no idea that half of that happiness came from knowing that his plan had worked, but he swore with blood that he wasn’t going to say a thing, after all, it will be useful for him in the future in case he needed to extort you).
“She was singing it today in the shower.” Yoongi informed him.
Jungkook giggled. “Creepy.” He said.
“Just a little bit.”
It wasn’t that creepy actually, you knew Junkook since you were both nineteen, you were almost connected like twins. If someone knew you as well as Yoongi did, that was Jungkook.
That thought stayed in his mind for a second, and after a while, it lit a lightbulb on top of Yoongi’s head.
“Was that all?” The youngest kept pushing, not fully convinced.
Yoongi thought about it.
“Mmm… No.” He said. Hoping that his friend would help him, but more importantly, that he wouldn’t laugh at him.
Lately he couldn’t name you in front of his friends without them acting like middle school kids, teasing him until his face turned red, and Jungkook was the most annoying of all of them.
“Are you not going to tell me?” He pushed one last time.
“Only if you don’t tell anybody.” Yoongi conditioned, making Jungkook frown.
“You’d be surprised how good I am at keeping secrets.” Jungkook raised an eyebrow, but Yoongi didn’t catch Jungkook’s hint, luckily, he just rolled his eyes.
“It’s going to be our… anniversary? monthiversary? Whatever you call it. The third one, in two weeks.”
“Three months already?” Jungkook asked, surprised that time has passed so quickly. “Wow, what about it?”
“I’ve been thinking.” He said “What do you and Bora do on your anniversary?”
Jungkook looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember every single thing that he did with his girlfriend when that day came around.
“It’s different every time.” He answered “Sometimes we go to a restaurant if we feel like it, but sometimes we just go for ice cream before the day ends. Sometimes I buy her flowers and sometimes she buys me something I like. But it’s different for everyone.” Jungkook paused, observing his friend being absorbed by his own thoughts. “Why? Is that what you were thinking? What to do on your… monthiversary?”
“Kind of. I think I don’t know how to be her boyfriend.” Yoongi confessed, avoiding Jungkook’s gaze to not feel like he was making a fool of himself.
Jungkook didn’t laugh about it, but he found it a bit curious.
“How is that you don’t know?” He questioned.
Yoongi spinned on the chair again. “I mean, what if she feels like our relationship didn’t change at all from when I wasn’t her boyfriend? What if she thinks it’s the same and she gets bored?” He asked, letting the words out like it wasn’t the main concern of the month.
Jungkook was a bit surprised by the way Yoongi’s mind worked, just like Namjoon was when Yoongi told him that he couldn’t allow himself to be happy with you because he had a fight with Jimin. But like before, this made sense for Yoongi, and was a perfectly coherent concern.
“Are you serious?” Jungkook laughed, “A relationship is not defined by what you do on your anniversary.”
“Is it not?” Yoongi joked, but he was still a little unsure.
“I don’t think so.” He said “I’m sure she’s not going to get bored of you, you keep her entertained. She’s in love with you, buddy, you’re not getting rid of her anytime soon.”
Yoongi was aware of that, you spent your free days glued to his chest and sleeping on his bed like it was yours, you made sure he knew every day how in love you were. He knew you loved him, but that wasn’t his problem.
“No, I mean, I know that. But I don’t want her to feel like it’s the same as before, I wonder if she can tell the difference, I hope she does. I just want to be… you know, a good boyfriend.”
Jungkook watched Yoongi playing with his fingers and he bit back a smile, wondering what it was that you had to leave Yoongi so… lost. And most importantly, what you did to him to have him talking about his feelings so openly. Jungkook never thought that Yoongi would try to come to him for relationship advice, but there he was, worried about being a decent boyfriend.
He tried not to tease his friend, he knew that if he did Yoongi would suddenly shut up.
“To be fair, you were already acting like a couple before making it official, so I think it’s normal to feel that way.” Jungkook tried to advise “But if you want her to see the difference, you should probably make her see that you’re serious with her. For example, I know she hasn't met your parents yet, right?”
Yoongi frowned, shaking his head. “No, she hasn’t.”
“There you go.” Jungkook winked at him “She likes simple things, if you take her to meet your parents she would feel like you are making her part of your life. Anyone can meet your friends, but not everyone meets your parents. She will take it as something special.”
That idea never crossed his mind until now. He still remembered when his mom called him when Yoongi’s brother told her that he was seeing a girl when he came to visit Yoongi, back then Yoongi ignored her and told her that you weren’t his girlfriend and didn’t give any other explanation. Yoongi loved his mom, but she was intense, even if he was the youngest of the family, she thought that he should be already married, she thought he should be already settled down with a wife and everything, but Yoongi was never the kind to follow the rules, let alone his parents’ rules.
The problem wasn’t you, it was just the way his mom never liked any of his girlfriends, so she never invited them to their house. This time was different, he knew that both his mom and dad would love you, so maybe Jungkook wasn’t so wrong after all.
Yoongi could still feel an annoying feeling on his stomach everytime he remembered the fight that you had , he remembered when you mentioned how he told you he was going to take you to meet his mom, so this could be an opportunity to make it up to you.
“That doesn’t sound bad.” Yoongi just said.
“Right? I’m always right.” Jungkook bragged “And about your monthiversary date, you should talk about it with her, ask her what she wants to do, it’s as simple as that.”
“Fine. I’ll take your advice, but I know you and I know her, so don’t say a word about this conversation.” Yoongi warned.
“It’s okay, my lips are sealed.”
Later that month Yoongi was just finishing taking a shower at his parent’s place after a long day. That morning he put his bag on the trunk of his car as he thought of what Jungkook said, and without him wanting to, the expression of his mother’s face every time he came to visit appeared on his mind.
When he got in the car he put on a cap and sunglasses and you laughed. He had been asking himself if Jungkook’s idea was working ever since he asked if you wanted to come and visit his family with him, you said yes without hesitation but didn’t say much else until that day. You took off your shoes at the beginning of the ride and played music until you fell asleep.
It was a long ride to Yoongi’s hometown, and you seemed to enjoy it until you made your last stop at a gas station. You got out of the car and bought some snacks, when you were getting back your boyfriend hugged you from behind and told you you were about to arrive. He kissed your cheek and circled the car to get on his seat, he didn’t see your face properly, but if he had done it he would have seen the smile on your face disappear. You got in the car with him and after fifteen minutes you asked if he could roll the windows down.
“I think I’m getting car sick.” You explained, sinking in your seat as you felt how your stomach turned upside down.
“Carsick?” He repeated. “You never get car sick.”
“I do.” You tried to argue, but he didn't believe you.
“I’ve been driving for three hours and you were just fine.” He told you, but you decided to ignore him. He looked at you for a brief second before turning his gaze to the road again. You shut your eyes close and frowned in discomfort, hugging your tummy like you were about to vomit. “Or is it that you’re nervous?”
You opened your eyes, offended. “I’m not nervous, I told you I’m getting car sick.”
Maybe Yoongi tried to forget you so hard months ago that he ended up memorizing every single thing about you. Only after you began to date him, you realized how much he knew about you. He bragged about it, and it was cute when he remembered that you didn’t like mayonnaise or what kind of wine you liked, but it was annoying when you couldn’t keep a secret away from him because he could read it in your face.
The truth was that Yoongi made the mistake of telling you how his mother didn't have a good relationship with his past girlfriends, in fact she didn’t even have a relationship at all with them. She had met all of them in other circumstances but never invited them to their house, she only needed one meeting to decide if she didn’t like them, and now you were in physical pain just thinking of the possibility that she didn’t like you either.
Of course that all this fuss came from your last experience with your ex boyfriend, who’s mother made it very clear that she didn’t like you. You didn’t know what it was, maybe the fact that you weren’t catholic, or maybe that she liked Dan’s ex girlfriend more, who knows? You didn’t want that to happen again. Different from Dan, you really wanted to stay in Yoongi’s life.
When you saw the first sign with the name of Yoongi’s hometown next to the highway, you finally admitted it, hoping that your boyfriend could give you an answer.
“How do I know if your mom doesn’t like me?” You asked him, automatically making him scoff.
“She won’t dislike you.” He just said.
Yoongi was a man of few words, but that wasn’t good enough for you.
“How do you know?” You insisted.
“Because I like you, don’t I?” He smugly answered, making you want to rip off his head for laughing at you.
“But you said your mother thinks you have bad taste in women.” You reminded him, but he shook his head in denial.
“You can’t rely on that.” He said “My mother also thinks that I should be a doctor, she has her own perspective of reality and it’s impossible to please her.”
“That doesn’t make me any less nervous.” You whined.
“You don’t have to be nervous, I’m sure that both of them will love you. You made them a pie!” He tried to encourage you, but you weren’t content yet, your mind couldn’t stop making scenarios.
“But what if they think ‘What a pretentious bitch, she wants to buy us with food’?” You kept insisting. Your question seemed rational to ask, but it only made him fail to suppress his laugh.
“They will think ‘What a nice girl, she made us a pie’!” He acted.
You rolled your eyes. “I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t know how to make you believe me.” He laughed “I can tell you the truth, my mom is a complicated woman, it’s impossible to please her, but if you just be yourself she will like you, if you’re trying too hard that’s when she will dislike you.”
You still weren’t happy with his answer. He seemed too cool about the whole situation, you didn’t understand how he wasn’t at least a little nervous.
“Your advice sucks.” You spat, crossing your arms over your chest “Then, what if she doesn’t like the way I am?”
He sighed, thinking about it for a second. “I mean…” He said, dragging his words “What’s not to like?”
Then, you punched his arm, making him whine.
“Quit playing with me.” You cried.
At this point, Yoongi was just trying to mess with you. He wasn’t lying when he said his mom was complicated, but he also knew how excited she was to welcome Yoongi’s first girlfriend after so long. He knew she would be happy just knowing he wasn’t single anymore, but after meeting you he was sure she was going to love you. Maybe it was cruel, but he decided to keep that for himself.
“But I’m serious!” He protested, rubbing his arm “First, I know my dad will like you, and even if my mom is intense, she will like you too because I know her and I know you. You get along with older people, you’re smart, you know how to cook, you’re a future teacher. What else can I say to stop you from vomiting in my car?”
You kept silent for a minute like he had just scolded you, reevaluating if he had made a good point or not. Maybe you were right and someone like Yoongi’s mom would never like any of his son’s girlfriends, but maybe Yoongi was right and you were overreacting. It hurt you to admit that you were.
Yoongi had never seen a person more nervous than him to see his mom. In front of his eyes it appeared the same image of his mom’s face that he saw on his mind earlier that morning. Years passed before Yoongi stopped doing what his mother thought was best for him, even if sometimes she was right, sometimes she was not, he learned to stop caring what she thought of him. His brother had a more stable job, but it was not until recently that he got a stable girlfriend, so he had two points in the game. Even though his family was proud of him now, years ago her mother considered that his job was not stable and he had no girlfriend until three months ago, so back then he had zero points. Yoongi said fuck the game long ago, his mother’s claims had no effect on him anymore, but he didn’t expect you to react like this when he told you about his mother’s behaviour with his past girlfriends, he realized it was only logical, even if he knew his mother would like you.
“Stop.” You told him, the feeling on your stomach slowly disappearing.”You’re obsessed with me.”
You watched him trying to hide a smirk, but he didn’t deny it.
“You stop.” He said “Stop worrying, I’m sure everything is going to be fine.”
You were not willing to admit he was right, you decided to change the subject.
“So… Will they make us sleep in separate rooms?” You asked, “Since we’re not married.”
Your question was only innocent, it was genuine, but the clarification made Yoongi laugh.
“My mother is insane, not conservative.” He said, like it was hard to tell the difference. “Maybe a little old-fashioned, but no. Besides, I don’t think she thinks I’m saving myself for marriage.”
You rolled your eyes. “I was just asking.” You clarified “It’s not like I’m… fucking you in your parent’s house.”
“Why not?” He teased you, but you ignored him, refusing to take the conversation any further.
That seemed to clear the air at least for now, but when you arrived at his house he was not surprised at all to see you get along with his parents, especially his mother. You didn’t know that you already had a few points in her game thanks to Yoongi’s brother, and you gained even more when you offered to help with cooking. Yoongi thought that was a good sign, his mom never let anyone but his brother help with her food.
His mom kissed both of you in the face as she sent his dad to leave your bags in Yoongi’s room, and not even half an hour later you were in the kitchen, chatting with her as you rolled up your sleeves and started cutting carrots.
What a fool you had made of him, he laughed at him in secret when random sentences appeared on his mind when he looked at you. You were wearing a brown sweater and blue shorts and for a moment he thought you looked like the last day of spring, like summer but not quite summer, like summer before he met you, summer when he didn’t know your name or how your mouth tasted. He saw the dark green color of the walls and smelled the coffee from the morning and it seemed like you always belonged there, somehow, he found you just in time before his mom decided to change the color of the walls like she was telling you, you camouflaged yourself in them like you were part of the kitchen, like you were part of his home. You told his mom that it was a shame to change the color, you liked it that way.
When the food was ready you sat beside him. It only took one question from Yoongi’s dad, who just asked how old you were, to stop his mother from holding herself back and start bombing you with every question you could imagine, you didn’t mind, she was just curious. You tried to ask questions back, trying to know them just as much as they wanted to know you, but it was difficult when Yoongi’s mom was barely interested in something else that wasn’t your relationship with her son. From your job, to your career, your family and friends, and how and when you meet Yoongi. He felt like an observant, like he was five years old and his mother told him that he could only stay at the adult’s table if he could keep quiet. You always said that you struggled at being social, but you seemed so natural as you laughed and moved your hands, telling his father that you were sure that you were graduating this year.
“Yoongi barely graduated from high school!” His dad said, making you giggle.
After lunch he offered to wash the dishes as he saw you disappear in the back door with both his mom and dad, she explained that she wanted to introduce you to her plants in the garden. He craned his neck and tried to spy on you from the window of the kitchen, but he could hardly see you or hear anything. He was not sure if he could leave you alone with them yet, but he knew that you knew enough about plants to charm his mom.
As the day came to an end, you forgot why you were worried that morning. That night, Yoongi searched for you in his living room and found you sitting with his parents on his couch, freshly out of the shower as you shared a cup of tea and his mother showed you some family photos. Yoongi tried not to roll his eyes, it was just a matter of time until his mother pulled their family albums for the guest to see. He sat next to you and noticed that all of you were looking at a picture of him and his brother on a school day, there was a big smile plastered on Jeasung’s face, but a six year old Yoongi looked like someone stole his favorite toy, you laughed thinking it was the same upset face he had when something was bothering him, he still looked the same.
Yoongi’s mom explained that his youngest son never liked to wear his high school uniform, she told you that she had to dress him several hours earlier so he could get used to it and forget he was wearing it when it was time to leave.
“Of course he never got used to it.” She complained, “But it’s normal, life itself it’s like a uniform for this kid.” His mother never failed to tease Yoongi, and he only laughed because he heard you laughing.
But she was not wrong, Yoongi always thought that his clothes didn’t fit him well and that his shoes were uncomfortable for him, he never liked being in his parent's car for too long because the seatbelt was too tight. He was irrationally afraid of thunder and the dark, he liked to stay at home most of the time and watched maybe too much tv. As a kid Yoongi thought that perhaps his body belonged to another planet, he believed that someone dropped him on earth and expected him to get used to this life, a life that wasn’t for him, to a bed that couldn't fit him, to a house full of rules that he didn’t know how to follow. When he grew up he was quick to blame the rural town he was raised in, he used to say that it held him back, but when he moved to the city he found out there was no apartment big enough to fit his heart. And when he met you last summer, he noticed that suddenly his clothes fitted him just right and that his shoes were never the problem. Maybe his body never belonged to earth or to mars, but belonged to you. As he watched you observing his baby photos he remembered what Jungkook said, you liked simple things, he realized he liked them too.
He spent an hour with you and his parents, until his father decided to go to bed and Yoongi noticed it was his turn to take a shower, but his mother didn’t care that it was almost midnight, instead she poured you another cup of tea.
“I’ll go to take a shower.” Yoongi announced, “After that, we’ll go to sleep.”
“You don’t tell me when it’s my bedtime.” You joked, turning the page of the birthday photo album.
But when Yoongi got out of the shower after twenty minutes, he opened the door of his bedroom and found you there, changing into your pajamas. You jumped, startled when you saw him “You scared me.”
Yoongi murmured a quick ‘sorry’, sitting at the edge of the bed as he observed you change, noticing that your pajamas were actually just an old shirt of his.
There were many scenarios where Yoongi pictured you and him together, but this was never one of them. You, in the middle of his childhood bedroom doing basic things such as getting ready to bed. It was different from the bedroom at his apartment, this was the bedroom where he grew up and knew all his life, all those events from today made him feel like an arrow pierced through his chest and made his heart bleed, like he was high and couldn’t open his eyes properly because he was so blinded of love.
He wouldn’t like to call it the honeymoon phase, that would annoy him, but he could tell he was so drunk in you that the withdrawal of you being apart could hurt him terribly. That night he hoped to get tangled with your body one last time before giving away all his fears, he hoped to get in bed, kiss your face and whisper the truth to you, you were part of him, you had embedded yourself in his soul and now he couldn’t picture his childhood home without thinking that you were part of it all along, he had been waiting for you, he had been waiting to feel like everything was okay.
“It’s strange seeing you here.” He told you, making you turn around to see him “It's like running into your teacher in the supermarket.”
You giggled. “It’s strange for me too, being in the room where you probably brought a hundred girls.”
Yoongi looked around his room, asking himself how you didn’t notice yet. He thought that the poster of Slam Dunk in the back of the door would have given him away, maybe the stickers of Batman in his wardrobe, but you were dead serious. “You are crazy if you think I ever brought a girl to this room.”
You frowned, walking to lay in bed next to him. “I don’t believe you.”
“I’m not lying.” He insisted “When my brother left for college and left me the room I was like fourteen, I was not very popular with girls back then.”
“And later?” You questioned.
“Later I moved in with Seokjin when I was like seventeen. Besides, the fear that I had of my mom finding out that I sneaked someone here was stronger than anything else.”
You looked like you were doing the math in your mind, after calculating, you said one simple word that made Yoongi choke. “Virgin.” You pronounced.
Yoongi glared at you, offended. “No, you’re wrong, that doesn’t mean I was a virgin before moving in with Seokjin.”
“So your bed is a virgin.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Now Yoongi turned to you, laying on top of you and placing himself between your legs to kiss you softly. He was just trying to be sweet, but you knew better. He grabbed your hips and pressed you firmly against him, breaking the kiss to leave a few pecks on your lips. “I mean, if you want to…” He offered, making you scoff.
“I will kick you in the balls, stop.” You whined, grabbing him by his shoulders to stop him from kissing you again.
“Okay, I’ll stop for now.” He said, not really convincing you. For now, he changed the subject. “What did my mom tell you in the garden?”
You squint your eyes, trying to remember “Oh, nothing, really.” You replied, tilting your head to see him more clearly. “We were talking about her plants. She wanted to know how many I could name.”
He laughed just by thinking of it, of course his mom would do that.
“What, like a test?”
“It seemed like it.” You said, laughing too. “But the good news is that I think I passed.”
“That gave you points.”
“Do you think?” You wondered out loud “Do you think she liked me?”
“Wasn’t it obvious?” He laughed, “I’ll get her review tomorrow, but dad already told me.”
“What did he say?” You wanted to know.
You noticed that Yoongi’s dad was very quiet, just like him, he said just the right amount of words, unlike his mother, who couldn't stop talking for a minute. Yoongi said that they complemented each other.
“He said you were a very polite girl, and that you were funny but too pretty for me.”
You pouted “That’s not true, you are a pretty boy.”
He smiled, fighting for his life not to blush “That’s what I said as well.”
“They don’t have much faith in you.” You joked. Yoongi sighed, thinking that it might be true, his dad joked and asked him where did he got you from, where in the word he had found you, he kept his answer to himself, he couldn’t say to his father that he felt like the stars aligned the day he met you, he would laugh in his face.
“You said it yourself, I have a bad boy reputation to keep up with.” He murmured, reminding you when he bought you a necklace and you said that you wouldn’t tell anyone that he was so sweet. “But I hoped that changed, he told me not to fuck up.”
You saw his smile and silently wondered when you were going to stop visibly melting under his gaze, the whole conversation had your heart jumping inside your chest, you were afraid it would run away from your chest.
“That’s great advice.” Your voice came as a whisper.
“Yeah, I mean, I’m trying.” He scoffed, laying his head on your shoulder and burying his nose in the crook of your neck.
As the silence took over the room, Yoongi felt your hands in the back of his neck, running your fingers through his hair and feeling like it was time to sleep, but Yoongi’s mind was still racing.
“Did you have a good time today?” He asked before you fell asleep, you just hummed in response. “Will you come back with me next time?”
“Yes.” You laughed “Will you bring me back?”
“Of course.” He murmured against your neck “I didn’t bring you here just to meet my parents.”
“Didn’t you?” You frowned, making raise his head to look at you again. He shook his head in response. “Was there another reason?”
While you grabbed the wet strands of his hair that fell on his face to curl them around your fingers, he pretended to think his answer. “Yes, I brought you here so you know that I’m serious about you, I want you to be part of every part of my life.” He tried to sound cool, he hoped you didn’t notice he practiced that sentence the whole ride while you were sleeping and minutes ago in the shower.
You couldn’t escape from his words when he was just centimeters away from your face, it was impossible not to blush.
“Where is this coming from?” You asked, not being able to hide your smile.
Where was this coming from? He remembered suddenly. Yoongi knew you from head to toe, he memorized every part of you face, he knew every single mole in your body, he knew what sound you made when you were about to wake up, he knew exactly what you liked and you didn’t like, yet it was ridiculous how unsure he was about your decision to stay with him. In that moment where the light from the lamp on his nightstand illuminated the right side of your face and made only one of your eyes shine, he looked at you and could only read one thing in your eyes; ‘finally’, they said. How relieved he was in that instant.
“From a lot of places.” He confessed. “I don’t want to hide how I feel and make the same mistakes twice, so I needed to tell you.”
It was not shocking to you that Yoongi had these thoughts once in a while, but you were happy that he was okay with talking about it with you. “It’s okay, you don’t need to worry about that.” You whispered “But it’s nice to hear that, I want you in my life too, for as long as I can keep you.”
Yoongi laughed, you had no idea that it was the other way around.
“Forever, then.” He offered, rubbing his nose against yours.
“Okay, but first you have to tell me you love me.” You murmured “To seal the deal, so I can be sure.”
“I love you, baby.” He said in a sweet tone, making your heart melt like it was the first time you were hearing it, like it was a confession.
“That’s good news, I love you too.”
Friends
You always believed that to be a good lover, you had to be a good friend first. Maybe that’s why things didn’t work out with your last boyfriend, he hardly ever cared about you the way you cared about him. What’s love if not friendship first? A friend is always there, always knows what to say and if that’s not the case, a friend always listens. A friend always saves your seat in crowded rooms and knows how to read your mind when you want to escape. A friend knows every part of you, even the embarrassing ones, the most damaged ones. A friend knows your past and knows your flaws, knows your favorite songs and the food you don’t like. A friend knows that one person you despise and talks shit about them with you even if they don’t know them, a friend knows your family drama and maybe the color of your toothbrush.
Yoongi was that kind of friend to you, except that he also was the kind of friend who kissed you during the nights and early in the morning, a friend who shared shirts and socks with you, a friend who memorized every part of your body and the kind who took showers with you. If Yoongi wasn’t your friend you couldn’t let him see you hungover, or allow him to hold your hair if you were vomiting in the bathroom, you considered that it was a perfect balance.
Eight months after you began dating, he had left and returned from tour after three months of not seeing him. You barely saw him at the airport when you welcomed him that morning, but as soon as you arrived at his apartment, he fell asleep on his bed after a short kissing session. You only visited him once last month when he surprised you with a plane ticket as a present when he couldn’t be there for your graduation, but a month was too long to be apart from him, even if he texted and called every day and sent pictures of him after his shows. Now his hair was longer and you could see a bit of facial hair on his chin, but you liked him like that.
You wished you could wait for him to wake up to spend the night with him, but he had come back a few days earlier and you already had plans to go to a bar with Yongsun and Nayeon that same night, but you had promised Yoongi that when you were done you would make Nayeon drop you at his apartment.
What is love if not friendship first? If Yoongi wasn't your friend, you would never have allowed him to see you in the state you were in when you came back to his house that night.
Yoongi was about to hit the tenth hour of sleep when he was woken up by the sound of someone trying to open the door. In the distance, he heard the key hitting the wood but never entering the lock, he knew it was you, but he was too sleepy to realize that you were far too drunk to open the door in the first try (or the second and third one). You told him you were coming back not after two, but when he looked at the clock on his nightstand and saw that it was almost five, he decided to stay in bed, thinking that you were just struggling to open the door in the dark. When he thought he was about to enter into another dream, his sleep was once again interrupted by the sound of your high heels stumbling through the hallway. Were you with someone? Your laugh could reach his ears from his bedroom, were you alone? What were you laughing about?
He should’ve known you weren’t in your five senses before your silhouette appeared at the entrance of your bedroom, now with your shoes in your hands, leaning on the wall as you tried not to stumble with your own feet. You clearly didn’t notice he was awake, so he took advantage of that.
In the dark, he saw you walking towards the mirror beside his bed, covering your mouth and trying not to laugh when you saw your reflection. Your make up was ruined and your hair was a mess, for some reason it was the funniest thing to you.
Yoongi waited silently on the bed until you decided to join him, but you seemed to be taking your time, soon enough you began stripping from your clothes as you danced to a song playing in your mind, then you began to hum it. You left your jacket on the floor, then you decided to unzip the black dress you were wearing, staying in your underwear only. Yoongi couldn’t recognize the song, he felt like it was a private moment between you and yourself only, even if he had seen you with less clothes than that, he felt guilty for spying on you, but it was too funny to look away. He tried not to laugh and pursed his lips when he saw that you had almost finished your little dance, you brushed your hair with your fingers and adjusted your underwear. Before you got into bed, you turned around and took one last look in the mirror, except this time you were notably checking your butt.
You giggled one last time before getting under the covers. He closed his eyes, scared to be caught watching you.
He felt your hands shaking his head, trying to wake him up. “Bubba, I’m here.” You slurred, hugging his body close to yours. Yoongi pretended to wake up and opened his eyes.
“What are you doing?” He asked, faking a sleepy tone on his voice and wrapping his arms around your torso. “Why are you naked?”
“I’m not… naked.” You chuckled “Not completely.”
Yoongi took a second to scan your face in the dark, which was smudged with dark gray eyeshadow and glitter. That night you seemed to have worn red lipstick, but now it was all faded, that happened when you drank (vodka, he could smell it).
“It’s cold.” He informed you, feeling your cold feet trying to find his own so he could warm them. “And it’s late.”
It was not usual for you to get drunk, so Yoongi had barely seen this phase of you in the last months. He quickly learned that you were a happy drunk, laughing at him when he told you it was too late to wake him up. It was funny, and Yoongi thought it was the end of it, but when you kissed him, trying to shut him up, he knew you were going to be awake for a bit longer before finally sleeping.
It turned out that you didn’t only smell like vodka, but you taste like it too, that and watermelon as well. If you hardly ever got drunk it was because you didn’t like most alcoholic drinks, of course you were going to get drunk with cocktails. But your kiss was slow and sweet, and he liked watermelon after all. You only pulled away to kiss his nose.
“Did you have a good time?” He asked, hoping that small talk will tire you, needless to say that he was about to fail.
“I was missing you the whole time.” You replied, taking him by surprise when you began to straddle his lap to get on top of him, leaning to kiss his lips again. “But yes, I did.”
“What about your friends?” He murmured against your lips, but you didn’t want to stop kissing him. “Was Nayeon the designated driver?”
“Mhm, yes. She had to take care of me.” You laughed, sneaking your hands under his shirt. “She was afraid I would throw up in her new car.”
Yoongi was sure you were staining him with the red lipstick that remained on your lips when you began to leave small kisses on his neck, but you seemed happy, so he supposed it was okay. “I would be afraid of that too.” He joked. “What about Yongsun?”
“Oh, you wouldn’t believe me.” You exclaimed, being a bit too loud “She danced with a guy and kissed him, he wanted to go home with her.”
“What?” He asked, running his hands down your thighs. “Did she say yes?”
“Mmm, no, girl’s night only. But can you imagine?”
Yoongi hummed, happy to hear you talk about your night but knowing that you were not in the mood for sleeping yet. “What about you?” He continued to ask “Did you dance with a lot of boys?”
You gasped at the assumption “Me? Of course not.” You denied, leaning forward to kiss him again. “However, I must confess, I’m a pretty girl, bubba, a lot of guys approached me.”
“Yeah?” He raised his eyebrows, not willing to picture the image in his head. You nodded “And what did you say to them?”
“I said that I was not interested because I have a boyfriend.” You said in a pout, encouraging him to kiss you again.
Even if he tried to be strong and send you to sleep, he was too tangled in your games to run away from your kisses, or from you anyway. “Mhm, such a good girl.” He hummed against your mouth.
Suddenly, you pulled away from him. “Don’t say that.” You whined. “I’m already horny and I know you won’t fuck me since I’m tipsy.”
A loud laugh escaped from Yoongi’s mouth, surprised at your confession. “Are you horny?”
“Don’t act like you didn’t know.”
“I didn’t.” He denied. “And you’re not tipsy, you’re drunk as hell.”
“Whatever.” You huffed. “I was thinking about it the whole ride home.”
“Is that why you’re naked?” He kept laughing.
“I’m not naked.” You insisted. “But yes…”
Over the past months you naturally made a lists of ‘do not fuck if’ without noticing. You were the one who started it, telling him that you weren’t going to have sex if you were already showered or if it was wednesday, which was the day you were most tired. You had made very clear that you weren’t going to fuck him if you were on his parent’s house or while having a shower in your apartment if Nayeon was around. Of course Yoongi was the one who tried to do it in all those situations like it was a bucket list for him, but he had only one condition that could not be broken: do not fuck if you’re drunk. This was never a problem until that night.
Yoongi noticed that you were letting too many words out of your mouth, words that you would be embarrassed to remember you said the next day, that’s when he knew that it was time to sleep, but first, he wanted to tease you just a little more, that was allowed.
He grabbed your hips and put you down next to him, pressing your body against his. “And what were you thinking?” He asked you, making you believe that he was about to break. You were too drunk to notice that he was just playing with you.
“I don’t know If I can say.” You whispered, grazing your fingers over his face.
“C’mon, baby, you can tell me.” He insisted, but he had an idea of what you were thinking. “You wanted to ride me?”
“Well, yes.” You sighed, looking at his lips, tempted to catch them between your teeth. “But I really don’t have the energy to do that now, so then I thought that you should do all the work.”
It was maybe the first time that Yoongi heard you talk about sex like it was a procedure. “All the work?” He laughed. “Should I just open your legs and do all the work?”
You seemed offended by that offering. You frowned, shaking your head. “No!” You protested, “You must be… romantic.”
Yoongi scoffed. “I’m always romantic.” He said, reaching for your lips, opening your mouth lazily to briefly introduce his tongue, getting your hopes high again. You gripped his shirt, but he pulled away before you could do something else. “Am I not? I bring you to my house, I fuck you in my bed, I let you sleep naked on it, I make you breakfast. I’m romantic.”
“But you aren’t being very romantic right now.” You murmured against his mouth. “And I’m not naked.”
“I’m not fucking you tonight, you’re very drunk and I can be romantic in other ways.” He finally said, but you weren’t willing to give up yet.
“I don’t want other ways.” You kept insisting “I’m literally begging you.”
“You always do that, though.” He said, too cheeky for his own good. You rushed to cover his mouth with your hands, as if there was someone else in the room hearing.
“You can’t say that out loud.” You cried, trying to prevent him from talking again, but he was quick, biting your pinky finger to get himself free. You protested, but he didn’t pay attention.
“You’re the one begging to be fucked.” Yoongi laughed, but the frown on your face wasn’t going away. “Meet me halfway here, I can kiss you until you fall asleep if you want.” He tried to negotiate.
“You can kiss me somewhere else.” You said, making him snort. “I’m conscious enough, and I missed you this whole month”
“No, you’re not. And you’re going to regret saying that when you wake up.”
“Yoongi!” You cried.
“Oh, is it ‘Yoongi’ now?” He asked, wrapping you around one of his arms and making you rest your head on his shoulder, getting you ready to sleep. “It’s only ‘bubba’ when you’re trying to fuck me?”
“It’s only ‘Yoongi’ when I’m mad at you.” You groaned.
“I don’t care, it’s past your bedtime.”
“I didn’t know I had a curfew.” You kept trying to fight him.
“Tonight you do.”
“That sounded hot.” Now you were beginning to test your boyfriend’s patience.
“Oh my god.” He sighed, running one of his hands over his face.
“I like when you talk with a deep voice and you get all serious.” You kept going with your rant, but he was not having it anymore.
“Fine, stop.” He rushed to say “You can tell me all about that tomorrow, I promise I’ll do anything you ask me, but now it’s time to sleep.”
You turned your head to the clock beside you and saw the hour you came back home, you had no idea it was that late. “You could say it’s early.”
“Baby…” He warned you, last warning. Your gaze was kind of blurry and you were not as conscious as you bragged to be. It was difficult to admit that you were about to give up.
“Okay, I’ll sleep.” You said, snuggling near his chest, “But is the kissing session offer still available?”
“No, I don’t trust you anymore.” Yoongi had already closed his eyes “But I can allow a reduced amount of kisses.”
Finally surrendering to his conditions, you stretched out a bit and kissed him three times before falling asleep.
After that night you made sure no one else saw you that drunk, it was like a part of you that you didn’t know. You would have preferred not to remember anything the next day you woke up, but you remembered every single thing that you said. Even if someone erased your memory, Yoongi would have been there to remind you of the whole conversation, he couldn’t stop teasing you for the whole month.
A friend surely was in charge to stop other people seeing you in that state before you start vomiting every word that crossed your mind, but that wouldn’t prevent him from keeping those moments to himself. You promised to control yourself the next morning, but you forgot about it weeks later when you shared way too many glasses of wine with Yoongi one night, luckily there was no one around, and this time you weren’t drunk on vodka like before, so Yoongi laid on the couch and poured you the last glass before deciding it was time to turn off the lights and go to sleep, if were for you, you would have spent the whole night there, talking with him without noticing the words were slipping out you mouth.
You could tell that his eyes were becoming smaller and that his voice sounded deeper, he was getting sleepier but you couldn’t stop talking.
“We should get in bed already.” He announced “Before you tell me all your secrets and regret it the next day.”
“I’m not that drunk, you’re just trying to get rid of me.” You snuggled next to him, shaking your head. “And I don’t think that will work, you already know all my secrets.”
“Do I?” He doubted.
“Mhm.”
“Like what?”
Maybe Yoongi didn’t notice, but you told him a million things that you never told anyone else.
“Like when I told you that I shoplifted that MAC store back home.” You reminded him, making him laugh. “I don’t tell that to anyone because people think I would steal their makeup.”
“But you were like seventeen.” He said.
“Well, but I don’t regret it.” You admitted.
“You just told me that because I don’t use any makeup.”
You huffed, thinking about it “Maybe I keep a secret or two from you.” You confessed. “But a girl needs to have secrets.”
“Like what?” He asked again.
“Don’t manipulate me into telling you my secrets.” You said, dragging your words. He chuckled, leaning to kiss your lips briefly.
“Tell me all your secrets.” He insisted, whispering against your lips. You swallowed, feeling like his piercing eyes were burning your skin.
“I can’t tell you all of them.” You tried to be firm.
“How many you’ve got?” He kept insisting.
“A few… I don’t know.” You answered, counting them in your head, but you were too tipsy to even try. Even if you could, you would forget half of them.
“Tell me five.” He said, grabbing your waist and pulling you closer to him. Taking advantage of your position and kissing you once again, hoping you would fall for him, he tried to melt you with slow kisses while caressing your bare thighs with his fingertips. Yoongi was fine with you having secrets, he just wanted to know what you had to say that night.
You sighed against his mouth, “That’s too much.”
“I’m fine with three.”
You guessed you could find three things you never told anyone, three things that you knew Yoongi would keep for you.
(It should be noted that Jungkook’s plan to get you back together was off limits, you were drunk, not dumb)
“I never liked Nayeon’s food.” You said “She thinks that I always cook because I enjoy it but the truth is that I don’t like it when she does. But it’s a secret, don’t ever tell her.”
You didn’t want to be rude, so you kept it a secret. You thought that Yoongi would be surprised for some reason, or maybe it was your drunk self thinking that what you were saying was very shocking, but Yoongi looked like he already knew.
“Is that your secret?” He complained “I already knew that, it’s not a secret for me.”
“How did you know?” You asked, wide-eyed.
“I can see it in your face.” He explained. “I don’t think she knows, but I sure do.”
“Don’t ever tell her, Yoongi.” You begged like he was threatening to do it. “I tried to help her, but she never gets better.”
“Don’t worry.” He assured you “Your secret is safe with me.”
You believed him, even if he didn’t consider it a secret you kept from him. You tried to think of something that he couldn’t know just by looking at your face, which was the most difficult thing when Yoongi could read every expression of you.
“Okay, I have one that I don’t think you’ll guess.”
“Fine, let’s see.”
“I don’t like when you use socks in bed.” You spat “It’s really uncomfortable and you end up taking them off in the middle of the night.”
Now Yoongi was surprised, he never thought you were so bothered about his socks.
“Are you serious?” He questioned, but you seemed really sure of your statement.
“I’m serious.” You confirmed. “You do it especially at my apartment, you never care to look for them after you take them off and they just stay in the sheets until I find them. Do you know how many of your pairs of socks I have in my closet?”
Your boyfriend frowned at the question. He always bragged about being an organized person, what do you mean he has been forgetting socks at your place? What do you mean he never noticed?
“You don’t like when I wear socks to sleep?” He checked again, only for you to confirm it once again by shaking your head. “That doesn’t sound like a secret, that just sounds like you have a problem with me wearing socks when we sleep.”
You rolled your eyes “I get that you have cold feet, but once you are under the covers they get warm, you should know that since you take them off in the middle of the night.”
“Are you asking me to stop wearing socks in bed?” He asked, pretending to be offended. Of course you were too drunk to notice that, and even if he was almost completely sober, he seemed to be infected with your drunkenness as he spent more time beside you. The conversation began to sound silly, but he couldn’t stop pushing the topic. Was it so wrong that he forgot his socks between your sheets?
“I’m not asking you anything.” You whined, throwing your head back against his shoulder. “I’m just telling you my second secret.”
Yoongi scrunched his nose. “Your secrets are not really secrets, baby.” He said, making you roll your eyes again.
“Whatever, that’s all you’re gonna get.”
“Mmm, no. You still have one left.” He reminded you.
You raised your chin, realizing he was right.
Even drunk you could remember that there was a cabinet of secrets that you couldn’t say out loud, not even to Yoongi, like Jungkook’s plan or the things that made you jealous, they were things that maybe you were not ready to tell him yet, not because of him but because you really believed you should keep a few things for yourself. As he booped your nose with the tip of his finger, you thought that you could share at least one of that kind.
“Fine, but don’t laugh at me.” You warned him.
He raised both hands, claiming to be innocent. “I would never.” He assured you.
You squint, but in the end you just said it. “I like babies, I want one someday.” You confessed “Maybe a boy, but I’m fine with anything. I want to raise them in a house with a backyard in a pool. I never had a pool and my backyard was scary as hell, the grass was as tall as me.”
That did sound like a secret to Yoongi, he never knew about that. He stayed there, feeling like the blood drained from his face, even if he wanted to make fun of you, those words were now stuck on his throat. Surprised that having a baby was an illusion of yours, he didn’t know how he never noticed. He saw you cooing at babies on the street and how you were always so good tutoring middle school kids back when you hadn't graduated yet, but the thought never crossed his mind, he never saw you that way.
“You want to be a mother?” He asked. It seemed like you generated a short circuit in his brain.
“Yes, that’s what it means to have a baby.” You said.
“But when?” He continued to ask, almost worried. You laughed at that, of course you didn’t mean now.
“Someday, I don’t know. When I get the house with the pool, maybe when I find someone that wants a baby too.” You teased him, observing how he stopped looking surprised and he began to look upset.
“What do you mean when you find someone?” He protested. “I’m right here!”
“Mmm, I’m not sure about that.” You said, turning around to face him. He grabbed your waist, pulling you closer, if that was possible. “Do you want a baby, bubba?”
“Yes.” He affirmed without hesitation. “I want a baby if it’s with you.”
“Are you sure?” You asked, intertwining your fingers in the back of his neck “You don’t just say that to a girl.”
You were right, people just don’t say that to girls, but you weren’t just a girl for him. Right there, wrapped around your fingers, he felt his heart hammering against his chest, he never had that kind of conversation with anyone else, he wondered if any of his past girlfriends ever thought about sharing more than the present with him. Yoongi didn’t want to keep living in the past, but he couldn’t help but think about how different it was with you, even if it was terrifying to think that someone could trust him with being… a dad, that sounded so weird. The idea of having a kid was maybe years away from that moment, he couldn’t even grasp it. Babies were the epitome of fear for him, but he smiled at the thought that you had been thinking about it, it warmed his heart to think that you included him in the picture.
Yoongi couldn’t even think about the future without feeling dizzy, he was happy being your boyfriend, but it was like you pinched him and woke him up with that secret, was that what he wanted all this time? Maybe.
Being fair, he thought he should confess something as well.
“You aren’t just any girl to me.” He said “You’re the girl I love, the love of my life.”
Suddenly, you felt your heart dropping to your stomach “Am I?” You managed to ask.
Being in love was a curse, being in love with Yoongi was even worse. After eight months of dating him you still melted like butter when he opened his mouth and dropped the sweetest sentence he could ever say.
“Of course, I fought a lot with myself to figure that out, so I won’t back down now.” He murmured.
“I’m glad that you won, then.” You chuckled, leaving a peck on his lips.
He grabbed your face to keep you close to him and looked you straight in the eye, not willing to let it go yet. “Baby, please.” He asked, low enough so only you could hear him “Don’t have a baby with anyone else.”
You bit back a smile, trying to be serious. “I can promise that if you promise not to tell anyone my secrets.”
Yoongi nodded repeatedly, “I can promise that.”
Good thing that a friend knew how to keep secrets.
Now the bottle of wine was empty and your head began to spin more than before, it was about time that you vomited your last words of the night.
“And by the way,” You said, catching his attention with your sleepy voice “I feel like you’re the love of my life too.”
What would Yoongi of the past think of the Yoongi that was seated next to you now? He wouldn’t believe he was now hanging by a thread, hoping that your next words wouldn’t be your last and being so in love that his heart was about to give up. That's how it felt to listen to you, drunk and tired, confessing once again your love for him.
“How is it that you feel it?” He asked, curious enough to let his mind speak for him.
“Do you think it’s too early to tell?” You wondered out loud. “I never loved anyone like you, I don’t think this would ever happen to me again. I just feel it on my chest.”
That made sense, Yoongi felt it on his chest too. He didn’t want the feeling to wear off as one month faded into another, but it stayed, he guessed you were the reason. There wasn’t a trace of doubt in your eyes, he could only hope you saw the same thing in him.
Home
Fridays were always the same since you started at your new teaching job at a high school near Yoongi’s apartment, you woke up in your bed, took the subway, tried to finish your hours peacefully and visited Yoongi to have dinner with him.
This time was different, you took the subway back home and tried not to look at your phone.
You reminded yourself that fights in relationships were normal, but you didn’t expect Yoongi to still be mad after three days. After the big fight you had that night that made you think you wouldn’t see him again, you decided to communicate better, to talk things before exploding, so you didn’t have big fights since then, maybe silly ones about house rules or tiny discussions that were long forgotten within an hour, but never three days.
If you ever thought that Yoongi could not be any more stubborn, you were wrong.
It started on wednesday, when you came to visit like every other day, but he seemed to be drowning in his thoughts, dragging his feet and zoning out every five minutes without realizing. It was not about work, that much you knew, there was something else in his mind, but he didn’t say a word about it.
When you began washing the dishes, he stood by your side, quiet as ever, letting you do all the talking about your day and hardly answering your questions. You were almost sure you had nothing to do with his mood, if something was bothering him he was the first one to bring it up, but this was not the case. He usually saved these moments to tell you something about his week as he waited for you to finish, he struggled to get the words out, but at the end he just said it.
It turned out that Yoongi had some trouble with some deal he closed a few weeks ago, he had been offered to make an appearance at a rap show that was being held a month from now, someone had stepped down last minute and he was offered the spot. He would love to do it, the only reason he wasn’t part of the initial line up was because he had a break planned for this time of the year.
Yoongi had said yes, signed the contract, closed the deal, and the next week found out by Hoseok that none other than Park Jimin was hosting the event. Once again, Yoongi felt like a coward, wanting to call it quits and forget about the whole thing. All of his friends who were going to be part of the show laughed at him for not being aware that his ex best friend was hosting and was also one of the headliners, but these weeks Yoongi had been too caught up with normal life to know who was performing at a show he wasn’t going to be part of to begin with, and yes, maybe he was going to go since he was probably going to get free tickets from his friends who were performing, like Namjoon or Hoseok.
He felt like someone slapped him on the face when he realized he was an adult and couldn’t run away just because Jimin was part of the event.
You knew Jimin and Yoongi's history too well, they met each other as soon as Yoongi arrived to Seoul when he was seventeen, he was still renting recording studios per hour, selling his tracks for cheap prices to pay the rent of the dorm that shared with Seokjin and working full time delivering pizza. Jimin was an aspiring dancer and singer, it was like underdogs seemed to find each other in the streets of Seoul, when Jimin met Yoongi no one could separate him from his older friend.
Ten years of friendship didn’t disappear just like that, Yoongi began to distance himself from everybody as soon as Dasom, his ex girlfriend, started to have problems and her addiction became worse, mostly from Jimin.
Maybe Jimin had a list of reasons that made him want stop seeing Yoongi for good, reasons that chased Yoongi in his sleep every october when he knew Jimin’s birthday was approaching, but he knew that Jimin’s last straw was when Dasom was too drunk at a gathering full of his friends and began to make Jimin uncomfortable when she began to crack jokes about cancer. Dasom was always known for his “dark humor” and not being politically correct, but no one expected her to make those jokes when one of Jimin’s closest friends had passed away of that same disease not even a year ago. Jimin stormed out of the room, having Yoongi follow him to try and talk to him. Back then Yoongi thought Dasom was too overtaken by his addiction to even understand what she was saying, but Jimin knew she never liked the relationship he had with Yoongi, she was jealous she didn’t take all the attention from him, the same happened with his brother and family. Yoongi didn’t want to see it, he wasn’t trying to defend her but he asked him not to pay her attention. Jimin couldn’t do that, he was heartbroken, not hurt by Dasom but hurt by his friend’s words, he wished Yoongi would have stood up for him, said something since his words got stuck in his throat as he expected someone to say anything because he couldn’t utter a word. Yoongi regretted it every night, he will always remember how Jimin said that Dasom had always been horrible as a person, she always made those kinds of jokes and Yoongi just tried to ignore them because he loved her, this wasn’t nothing new of her. That was the last time they talked, even if Yoongi tried to call him, Jimin was determined not to see him ever again, too hurt to even think of talking to him again.
Still so stubborn, that wednesday night, after he vomited all his thoughts, he hoped for you to say that he should go to the show, and that he shouldn’t be uncomfortable around Jimin, he hoped to hear you saying that even if it was bad that he defended Dasom in that situation, Jimin should’ve understood that Yoongi was in a shitty place and couldn’t be in the middle of the two of them. Imagine how upset he was when you told him that you understood his position back then, but maybe he should consider calling Jimin before overthinking the whole situation and figure things out with him, he should at least try, maybe something good could come out of it.
Yoongi was not happy with that answer, he just wanted to hear you say something that just magically would make him feel okay, he was terrified of facing Jimin after so many years. The outcome was different, he went asleep upset and stopped texting after you left for work the next day.
You weren’t mad at him, he needed time to think, you knew that he just wanted someone to endorse his stubborn behavior of running away from his problems.
That night you ate alone, Nayeon was suspiciously out (not to party) for the fourth friday this month, so you were on your own. There were no texts from anybody on your phone, no missed calls, no instagram messages of cat videos, no invitations to a party, not even a mail from the school. Being a substitute teacher wasn’t so hard for now, you had taken the job of a teacher who had a maternity leave, but you supposed she was a workaholic since she sent you the full schedule for the rest of the school year, so that left you with almost no work for the weekend expect for the papers you had to grade.
Embracing your loneliness, you took out a pot of ice cream and put on a movie for the rest of the night.
You thought that a night without you wouldn’t kill Yoongi, but as your eyes started to close and the movie was coming to an end, the sound of your vibrating phone startled you from your sleep. It was past midnight when Yoongi called you.
“Hello?” You answered, your sleepy voice reaching the other line.
“Were you sleeping?” He asked, without even saying hi.
“No, I’m in a club and came to the bathroom to answer.” You teased him, you could almost see how he rolled his eyes.
“Ha-ha, so funny.” He said. “What were you doing?” His voice was soft, being careful knowing you hadn’t spoken since you left his house.
“Just watching a movie, about to sleep, actually.”
There was a few seconds of silence on his line, but then, he made the question he was planning to ask when he called. “Why didn't you come home today?”
“I have a home of my own, actually.” You said, not breaking character.
“You know what I mean.” He insisted.
“I just didn’t think you wanted me there today.” You were just saying that to talk about the topic, sometimes Yoongi believed he could get away from trouble without facing it first.
“Don’t be silly, I always want you here.”
You rolled in bed, looking at the window to check if it was raining yet, but it wasn’t, though the sky looked like it was about to.
“I don’t know about that.” You said in a high pitch. “I was getting another message when you stopped texting yesterday.”
Yoongi was still not ready to admit he got mad at you.
“I guess we’re from different generations, I’m not on my phone all the time like you.” He tried to defend himself.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” You huffed. “We’re not from different generations when you ask for nudes in the middle of the night, aren’t we?”
You heard Yoongi almost choking, struggling to find words to fight you back on the other line.
“Fine.” He said, giving up “You’re right, I’m sorry for not texting. And I’m sorry for getting mad at you, I wasn’t ready to hear what you said, I just needed some time alone.”
You sighed, hearing how the rain began to hit against your window.
“It’s okay, I understand.” You told him “You can take your time, just don’t lock yourself alone in your room forever.”
Yoongi smiled as he laid on his bed, wishing you were there with him. “Can’t promise that.” He joked, making you laugh.
There was a moment of silence between the two of you, the sound of the rain filling the room as you waited for the other one to say something else.
“What were you doing awake this late, grandpa?” You murmured, wrapping yourself in the blankets once again.
“I wanted to talk to you, to say sorry, tell you something.” He answered, making you curious.
“What you wanted to tell me?”
“I’ve been thinking about what you said, about calling Jimin.” He said “I don’t know, I was not ready to consider that, not ready to get rejected by him.”
“Things can always be different.” You encouraged him.
“Well, yes. I know, but my mind works in strange ways.” He laughed, you sensed a bit of wavering in his voice “I made a decision today and I called him, just got off the phone with him.”
You gasped, startling him from the other side of the phone. “Really?” You almost yelled, the excitement leaking from your voice. “What did you say? What did he say?”
“Not as much as I would want to, I told Namjoon to get me his number and he did, I spent the whole day thinking of what should I say, imagining what he would tell me” He replied “He picked up, didn’t sound angry or mad, just surprised… I told him I regretted taking so long, he told me it was okay, we talked for about an hour without thinking about our fight, I actually talked him about you.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, I told him you were the one who pushed me to call him, and then decided to meet to… talk properly.” It took almost three years for Yoongi to make that call, and Jimin only seemed to be struck by nostalgia when he heard Yoongi’s voice, he hadn’t stopped thinking about his friend either. It was weird, it wasn’t like he wasn’t angry anymore, but both regretted how things ended. Yoongi didn’t know that, for some reason, he thought that for Jimin it was easier to forget about him.
“Oh, baby, I’m so happy for you.” You said in a high pitched voice. “Everything will work out fine, I know it because you deserve it.”
“I hope it works out too.” He murmured under his breath. “I just wanted to thank you, I guess you were right. You are always right, it’s annoying.”
“You should get used to it already.”
“Yeah, I suppose I should.” He said, you could almost hear him smile. “I’m still upset that you didn’t come home, we could still be mad at each other while cuddling.”
“Mmm, I don’t know about that.” You laughed just by thinking of that situation “I’m having a pretty good time in my bed without your big feet taking up all the space.”
“That’s rude.” He sounded offended. “I’m sure you like my big feet.”
“Oh my god, gross, shut up.” You said, scrunching your nose.
“Whatever, I’m just saying… You should drop by.”
“Now?” You asked, “It already started to rain.”
“I’ll send an uber.” He offered.
“How romantic, I thought you were going to come pick me up.” You kept teasing him.
“The car is in the garage and I’m on my bed already, romanticism can wait until you get here.” He tried to convince you without much success.
“I don’t see why you should stay comfortable on your bed and I should go to you.”
“Because you love me, I don’t know.” He chuckled “C’mon, baby, I just want to sleep with you tonight, in my bed.”
He didn’t need to beg too much before you folded, it didn’t take much to convince you when he said he was going to pay the uber, so you put on a hoodie and your flip flops and waited for the uber at your doorstep.
“Were you just booty calling me?” You managed to get out, shifting in your place as you laid under him, grabbing his shoulders to gain some balance.
This was supposed to be a cold rainy night, you were supposed to get in Yoongi’s bed and cuddle before falling asleep. That was the usual routine of fridays, you visited him after work and took a nap before dinner was ready, you left parties and meetings with your friends for the weekends, friday nights were to rest. You began to believe that you spent too much time next to Yoongi the way you refused to leave the house after ten pm, especially during winter.
You knew him too well not to notice how the situation was getting sidetracked the more time you spent together in that bed. He hugged you and showered you with kisses as he apologized for not texting or calling once again, asking you about your day and talking about Jimin a little bit more before his kisses began to trail down your neck and his warm hands sneaked under your big shirt, pulling you closer to catch your lips between his teeth.
“Don’t say that.” He groaned, thrusting languidly inside you as his fingers dug into the skin of your hips, setting a slow pace “I just missed you.”
Shutting you up with a kiss, you knew it was one of those nights for Yoongi. You didn’t know if you finally managed to break him at times, but there were nights like these when he couldn’t help but show how maniacally in love he was. He got rid of your clothes and took all the time in the world just for you, burying his head in your neck, being patient and careful, sucking love bites on your chest, showering you in praises and sweet words, fucking you deep and slow as he tried to prolong the feeling of your walls dragging up and down his cock for as long as possible.
He loved to tease and play with you, but he discovered he also loved giving you what you wanted just how you wanted, hearing you purr in his ear and sigh in relief as he sank himself inside your pussy, running his hands all over you body and fucking you lazily enough for you not to know when your orgasm was about to hit.
Arching your back, you pressed your body against him to meet his hips with urgency. He had been drilling in and out of you for a hot minute now, you began to feel your body becoming hotter, or maybe it was just his body, burning on top of you as he rolled his hips against you, responding to your body in an attempt to drive you insane.
“My sweet girl.” He murmured, brushing his lips against your own “Made just for me, always fitting me so well.”
He stole a kiss from your swollen lips, opening your mouth to slip his tongue inside, sucking on your tongue until you forgot how to kiss him properly and moaning on his mouth.
You felt yourself getting tighter around him, you supposed that by now you were well adjusted to his body but every time you seemed to be wrong. You felt his skin brushing over your clit and his body getting heavier on top of you, your orgasm began to build so slowly that you almost didn’t notice it, “I think I’m close.” You cried, digging your fingers into his shoulders.
He nodded, kissing your forehead “I know, baby. I’m close too.” He breathed out, his hand reaching for one of your hands to intertwine your fingers with him. “Where do you want it?” He asked.
“Just… inside me, please.” You pleaded, too intoxicated to think of anything else. He already knew your answer, but your words made his cock throb inside you anyway, making you shut your eyes closed, overwhelmed as he pounded inside you, picking up a faster pace.
It didn’t go unnoticed to Yoongi how in love he felt that night, he was sure that your whines and the little sounds you made were going to chase him in his sleep for a whole week, echoing through his mind, making him wake up in the middle of the night feeling like his skins was on fire. His mind didn’t make fully sense that you were his, so he had to repeat it out loud to you all the time. “Mmm, do you want me to fill you up?” His voice sounded raspy, meaning that he was in the same position as you, he could barely handle the way you were clenching around him.
You nodded repeatedly, not willing to open your mouth in case your voice failed you, but Yongi got drunk with the expression on your face, your mouth hanging open as you moaned, your hooded eyes fighting to see him clearly and your swollen lips just begging to be bit. You squeezed his hand, letting him know you were just a second to come undone, “Baby I’m- Shit, shit, shit.” Your words were cut by the feeling of shock waves of pleasure washing all over your body, sobbing his name as he helped you ride your climax, pounding in and out of your cunt as your whole body shivered.
“You did so well, baby.” He hissed, thrusting for the last time, urging to reach his own climax “Such a good girl.”
Just the sound of you sobbing his name was enough for him to finally snap, spilling himself inside you as he groaned your name, pounding inside you for the last time before he carefully removed himself from you, crumbling on top of you.
Yoongi looked at you, with eyes full of love, about to fall asleep. “You’re so cute.” He murmured, leaving a small kiss on your shoulder “And this wasn’t a booty call.” He cared to clarify once again. You ran your fingers through his hair, laughing. “Sometimes things turn out like this.”
“Yeah, I know, I was just teasing you.” You guaranteed him, kissing the tip of his nose.
“This is not fair, anyway.” He complained “If I want to see you in the middle of the night you have to take an uber to see me, it’s not fair.”
“I live only twenty minutes away, Yoongi.” You reminded him, but he didn’t like that answer, he rolled his eyes.
“I want you to live zero seconds away.” You heard him mumble against your neck “I don’t like this anymore.”
“What is that you don’t like?” You inquired, pulling away to see him properly.
“That you spend more time with Nayeon than with me.” He explained, making you giggle.
“Well, but someone has to pay the other half of the rent.” You said.
He huffed, grazing your fingers over your face “Mmm, I don’t care about that. I just don’t like you being away for so long.”
“For so long?” You repeated, laughing at him “Three days is that long?”
Of course it was, you knew it.
“Three days is eternity, baby.” He groaned, closing his eyes shut “I want to come home to you, don’t you?”
You tried to ignore your heart hammering against your ribcage, “I miss you all the time when you’re not with me,” You confessed, a smirk tugged from the corner of his lips, he looked at you for a second and then scoffed.
“You’re so cheesy.” He blurted out. You wasted no time in punching his arm, making him groan.
“And you’re so mean.” You complained “Don’t you miss me all the time as well?”
As much as Yoongi liked to tease you, you were right. “Yes, I do, I miss you all the time.” He admitted “I miss you right now knowing you will leave me tomorrow.”
“At least I can promise that I’ll text you.” You kept teasing him, but he was very persistent about his argument, he didn’t want to hear any of that.
“No, I don’t want you texting me.” He murmured, pulling you by your waist to press you to his bare torso. “Move in with me, baby.”
Yoongi watched your eyes widen in surprise, not knowing if he was serious.
“You want me to live with you here?” You asked, just in case.
“Yeah, this is basically your home too.”
“But what if you get sick of me?” You tried to argue, half joking, half being honest “What if you don’t like how I make the bed and how I fold my clothes?”
Yoongi squinted his eyes, wondering if that was a real concern of yours “I think we can figure that out along the way.”
You didn’t miss the feeling on your stomach when you thought about living here with him. You had been sharing lives for quite some time now, when he wasn’t at your apartment you were here, when you weren’t sleeping on his bed, he was sleeping in yours, but the routine of everyday was different, Nayeon was always around and you couldn’t act like the apartment was all yours. On the other hand, you could wander around freely at Yoongi’s apartment, you could wake up in your underwear and walk around the house as you prepared breakfast without problem, could dance in the kitchen without fearing that someone would catch you and hang out in the living room for as long as you wanted. But apart from that, waking up next to Yoongi every morning sounded really nice, he felt more like home than anybody else.
“Okay, deal.” You said “But I think I will miss sleeping with you in my bed.”
Yoongi snorts, mocking you. “Yeah, sure. Good thing I won’t.”
It was sad for you to see your bed go when someone who wanted to buy it on Facebook Marketplace came to pick it up by the end of the month, but it only meant a new start. You didn’t have many things, most of the furniture in the apartment belonged to Nayeon, including the couch where you had sex with Yoongi multiple times, poor her, she didn’t need to know how many times it happened.
But anyway, after that, there were many things to be excited about, at first it was your promotion as a titular teacher, there was family and friends and Holly, there was shared bottles of wine and summer nights, music and books, movies and food, there was holding hands during long walks in winter and calling in sick when it’s raining, and at the end of the day, there was always him.
Yoongi had wandered the world feeling like he was different for so many years, he resented the people that passed by on the street, thinking they had any kind of blame that he couldn’t stand living in his own skin, with a frown on his face, a hot black coffee without sugar on his hand and a bad attitude on the mornings, he believed himself to be disconnected from this world. Yoongi didn’t like his birthday, hated taking the bus, hated taxis, hated rainy and sunny days, hated flowers, they were for the death. He waited all year to get on stage and forget about all the people that he had hurt and all the people that hurt him, almost feeling like his life was slipping through his fingers. It was embarrassing to even admit that that only changed when he fell in love with you.
Love? He didn’t know a proper definition for that word, he just know he liked his birthday if you were going to be there, took the bus or a taxi if you were going to make him company, he liked rainy days if he was going to be cuddled in his bed with you, and sunny days didn’t seem so bad if you were beside him when he took Holly for a walk. He even started to like flowers when you bought a tulip for him on the first day of spring.
He wasn’t so different from everybody else, but maybe you were the different one, putting a smile on every situation and being optimistic, adoring your job, loving sugar, laughing at everyone’s jokes, even if they were bad. You had an efficiency to escape from the bureaucracy of school, work, society, life, how come he hadn't met you before?
He spent months trying to run away from you only to find out that he encountered you in every corner of his mind, in every corner of his bed, in every corner of his life. He was a fool if he thought he was the one keeping you, you were the one who decided to keep him.
Well, as you went on kissing him goodbye every morning, sharing baths with him after a long day, buying him tulips on spring days, Yoongi thought that as long as you were there, he should be okay.
taglist: @rvelvett @kimseokjinbangtan @minmin2022 @minvlush @bids97 @cowboylikevicky @jiimtaee @jjkmspace @localmoonchild @youre-on-your-ownkid @tarahardcore @kookstempo @yoongimentita7 @jwlmnbt @almosttoopizza @floriiansgrave @damn-u-min-yoongi @starbtslove @pelicanpizza @deliciouslydisturbed365 @g0lden-sunset @side-effectss @iwishselena @rosquilleta @funsizemarsbar92 @cosmiclatte-world @miss-jupiter @linosluna @staradorned @bxcndd
#yoongi x reader#fic: so it goes#min yoongi fanfic#yoongi fanfic#yoongi fanfiction#min yoongi x oc#min yoongi x reader#bts au#bts x reader#bts masterlist#yoongi x oc
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WIP Whenever
Tagged by @wanderingaldecaldo @morganlefaye79 @streetkid-named-desire @corpocyborg Thanks y'all! 🧡👻
The writing front has been very slow lately. Ideally I need like 6-8 hour blocks of time to just sit down and write, and my one day to do that has been occupied by social things and appointments the past few weeks. So writing has been minimal and in the tiniest bits and pieces. I do have a pretty solid 10 pages rn though, so I'll take it.
A lot of times for sections with a lot of dialogue, I'll write the dialogue first to make sure I really nail the flow of the conversation then go back and add all the speaker tags and actions. For this snippet I removed my mess of notes about who's saying what, so you all can have fun guessing lol!
One of my fav things to do is incorporate world-building and plot relevant details in as dialogue. It's a really seamless way of informing readers but it's also a subtle form of foreshadowing on my end.
Me and my multi-chapter setups, playin' the long game here...
Wash, sorry in advance for shit talking your woman. I think it's hilarious that Mitch is in on this too though lol
“–Militech’s been awfully agitated lately, saw a twenty vehicle caravan cruising around the 101 on that last scouting trip. Don’t think they’re planning on sniffing around here do you?”
“If they were lookin’ for the panzer they would’ve come and collected by now. Think it’s the fact that Arasaka’s stocks are in the shitter. And it ain’t just them either. You know the corps, always tryin’ to sniff out opportunity.”
“Yorinobu’s been doing a sloppy job of sweeping this whole debacle under the rug. Ever since he took over it’s been one mistake after another. It’s about time the whole empire toppled.”
“I imagine the president is trying to see how far she can push her luck.”
"Don’t think it’ll hurt her chances? Even with it being an election year?"
"Pfft, please. There hasn’t been an honest election since [insert date here]"
“After her last attempt, you’d think President Myers would’ve learned her fucking lesson by now. Unification my ass.”
"Well, with Arasaka hobbled and a newly elected mayor, what better time to test the waters? Militech and the NUSA have all the opening they need to jam their feet in the door."
“Ugh, do we really have to talk about corp drama over dinner? Again. That is all you old farts have been talking about recently.”
“Seeing as Militech backs the NUSA and that they’re contracted to guard the borders between the NUSA and the Free states. Yes, we are talking about it, Panam. As one of the leaders for this family you should be paying attention to these kinds of things. They are the ones we have to tangle with every time we move."
“Yes, because politics is such an influence on all the illegal activities that are our livelihood. Does it really matter which corporation or government is in charge of what? They are all the same. We will figure it out regardless.”
"It helps to know the players on the table. Who they are. What they want. The more information you have the easier it is to navigate the situation, read the field."
"As much as I see your point, I was really hoping to avoid the leadership lessons for at least one meal."
"It’s not a responsibility you get to turn on and off, Panam."
"Well, Saul, any chance those leadership lessons will help sort out the kitchen? It’s been mystery chili for the fifth night in a row."
Also, I found these fun series of videos which are an abbreviated history on NC! If you're into unraveling all the lore like I am or just need something that doesn't require a ton of research, these are great little primer!
youtube
Tagging with no pressure: All the people that tagged me @wanderingaldecaldo @morganlefaye79 @streetkid-named-desire @corpocyborg & @shimmer-like-agirl @baublekute @elmknight @mynonsenseistingling @vox-monstera @fly-amanitaa @spacervanguard @scarlettspectra
And it doesn't have to be writing or CP2077 related!
#cyberpunk 2077#writing#fan fiction#fic: so it goes#wip wednesday#wip whenever#i really do love the aldecaldos#they are a lot of curmudgeonly old farts#old wrinkly avocados#and those are some of my favorite characters to write
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what if YOU were a poor little animation studio who kept straightifying the very homosexual moments between a tiger and a malnourished victorian child in order to make the anime more appealing to the general public. but THE MANGAKA HIMSELF said NO here’s a scene where said malnourished victorian child sensually bites the tiger’s neck while he’s transformed as a vampire and U HAVE TO ANIMATE IT THIS TIME BCS ITS IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT!!! now bones if you straightify that scene like you did to akutagawa telling atsushi to run you fool then you can trust that i’ll find you more than you trust in god
#not really sskk related but if YOU would like to read my soukoku fic where they get transported into an alternate world#and not only is dazai the port mafia boss in that universe but they’re also GIRLS#I JUST UPDATED IT LIKE YESTERDAY SO PLEASE IF UR INTERESTED im rosalyra on ao3 and the fic is titled#Local Man Goes On Supernatural Investigation With Unfairly Hot Ex#Hopes This Doesn’t Reawaken Anything In Him#ok now back to regularly scheduled tags#sskk#shin soukoku#Atsushi#Akutagawa#bsd chapter 110 spoilers#bungou stray dogs#bsd chapter 110#bsd
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THE RED KING.
#gemcyt#mcyt#su#chris doodles#renchanting duo#3rd life smp#cherri's design just goes SO hard#and after jonny's fic??? had to draw them#also might have something else abt these two cooking so stay tuned ^_^
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Heyyyyy heard you had the idea for an au where Jason thinks he's a clone of the real Jason? Cool idea, can I hear more about it??
Ok, SO
Basically the premise is Jason has some weird fucked up version of Cotards Syndrome and also is massively dissociating cuz holy shit the amount of the trauma that boy has.
But after coming out of the pit, he realizes present him and past him are almost two entirely different people. They react to things differently, he’s far easier to anger (a symptom of PTSD), he can’t really remember parts of his old life, and when he does, it doesn’t have the same emotional connection he remembers it used to. Also, people don’t come back to life. Ever (Superman excluded).
All of which leads him to the conclusion of “I’m a clone of the deceased Jason Todd”
Because, apparently being a clone of a dead boy is easier than admitting to severe untreated PTSD…
#then he goes on a while goes chase trying to find out what happened to the “real Jason Todd#which does not go well#the only person not convinced by Jason’s insane idea is Dick#who’s trying SO hard to convince jason that no#you’re actually just a traumatized teenager Jesus Christ#dc#ask#jason todd#fic idea#Batman#thanks for asking btw!
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OC Askbox Game
I'm avoiding writing and you probably are too, so let's at least think about our characters while we do it.
You know the drill- send me a number (ONE number, you can come back for more) and I'll answer for an OC of your choice (if you know their name) or my choice (if you don't know their name). Feel free to name some of your OCs in the tags of your reblog, if you want to be asked about them.
How did you choose their name?
Were they created for the story, or was the story created for them?
Do they have a love interest, and was that their choice or yours?
Do they have a best friend? If so, how did they meet? If not, have they ever/why never?
Did they have a pet as a child?
What catalyzed their introduction to the plot?
What attribute of them (some facet of their personality, their history, their look, or whatever etc) would you find most important to somehow preserve if they were transplanted to an AU fanfic?
If your character's financial situation were to suddenly flip (someone poor becoming rich, someone rich becoming poor, etc), how well would they handle it? What would be the first thing they would do?
If your character could have handed their role in the plot to someone else, would they have?
Free Space #1: Which of your OCs would be most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse? Which would die immediately?
Does your character have a pet peeve?
Has your character committed any crimes (per their universe's laws)? If not, which crime would your character most likely commit?
Who is your character's closest (by relation, fondness, or distance) blood relative?
How does your character feel about riding horses (or your world's closest approximation of a horse if it lacks horses)?
Is your character's first instinct fight or flight? Is there something that could force them to do the opposite?
What is your character's favorite leisure activity?
Is your character holding any grudges? Are they likely to stop?
If your character were trapped on a deserted island, what three things would they want to have with them? Which person would they absolutely hate to be trapped there with? Which person would they enjoy being trapped there with?
Does your character having any health issues, whether they're aware of them or not?
Free Space #2: Which of your OCs would you most like to meet in person, if they could become real (or you could visit them) for a day?
Final Question: Ask me your own question about my OC
Remember: play nice! Send an ask to the person you reblogged this from, and try to send a few to folks that reblog from you!
#Writing#writing games#askbox games#fic prompts#as for me I'll name a few of my OCs but feel free to ask for others if you know them#From Flight's End: Sark'an Kedreeva Cazaes Malik Aislynn Valiss Kalstralev Khelios Alyria Ciara Damalis#From The Final Pack: Osker Steve Dalton Charlie Jasper Penny Scarlet Abigail Marcus#From Korvhan's story: Korvhan Rouchelle Davis Marie#I've seen so many of these but most of them are fairly generic#I want weird answers to weird questions#Maybe I'll make another one if this one goes over well#I have a lot of weird questions
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