#I have the most amazing pals I've met on here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lifesver · 4 months

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[ louder, groundshaking boss music in retaliation ] howdy kels :)) i very much share the sentiment that meeting you has been nothing short of so amazing, hilarious, heartbreaking, and so much good vibes so far ♡ i've said it quite some times before i know, broken record, but truly am so very happy to have met you, gotten to write all these absolutely wild aus and dynamics with you and i am so very cheering on what all of it - and what you will bring to our dashes - in the coming year c: i'm very VERY much looking forward to seeing where you take leland, to be able to read all your newspaper publishings across the dash, and where these kiddos will take us all. im very happy to be in this little corner with you guys. :) ♡

you bring such a strong breath of life into leland - he's realistic, he's brave even when he's absolutely terrified and has no clue how to go forward. his love for his friends is so very clearly shown in everything you write regarding either the dires or the friends simply goofing around. he comes across like such a living, breathing character and its thanks to the dedication and love you put in for him. from a guy that gun seems adamant on reducing so badly ( and so fucking wrongly ) as so one-dimensional, icky gross jock stereotype, you've allowed him to grow into such a precious, adorable, kind-hearted guy that honestly? i feel most people would kill to have as a friend. he's silly and warm and goofy in all the right ways and when things go wrong he's so complex and fractured and his depth truly gets to shine in those darker moments.

which of course brings me to that note; all the flavors of the dire aus :))

it has been SO MUCH FUN and SO VERY HEARTBREAKING getting to write with leland and maria in NOSY in particular. their dynamic alone is so gut-wretchingly tragic just on surface level, but the depth that it sinks into, in all of their trajectories, all of their shared dynamics with johnny & lamb, their complex and confusing feelings towards the friends, its been absolutely a blast getting to brainstorm and shoot ideas at all hours about it and im so thankful i get to be part of that experience with both you and lamb. your minds and your love for leland and johnny really bring out such a passion in return to me to write and brainstorm more and its been an amazing experience bouncing ideas off from you two. i absolutely cannot wait to see how, whether in threads or in ask responses, NOSY / WSU and all its different trajectories and more play out as this new year goes on.

i also very much enjoy all the little ideas and hcs and posts we all get ot bounce off of one another - esp getting silly with the aliases, im just adoring all the ways that we're expanding these kiddos to places gun could Literally Never honestly.

ill end it here but know i admire you, your characterization of leland, the love you have for him that so clearly shows in everything you post, your writing as a whole ( because holy shit i adore leland's inner thoughts, how you describe the world and people around him at any given moment!! )and likewise that i read your work, even simple hcs, and its inspiring to get to form a reply to.

i love you and value you and your friendship and as a writing partner and i truly hope this year is nothing but great and rewarding to you as well!! ♡♡♡

UGH RENEE i finally reply to this bc it's so kind and i need it on my blog. i did not expect u to uno reverse me but perhaps i should have, in fact, known-- no but like idk man i don't have a lot of words but this means so much 2 me and i'm so happy to write with you and be ur pal and just be crafting these dynamics and completely out of hand narrative arcs. like it's so nice to just go off the rails w you ik i can pitch something unhinged and u will pull up with another several paragraphs and suddenly we're crying on the ground in shamblse. it keeps happening -- (and i love it)

ur so sweet TT___TT thank u for tolerating me and the jock we love u. i adore all our dynamics so much. and i wanna hype you and ur writing up all the time you always insp me!!! raaaa

i look forward to hanging out with you even more in the new year, and seeing all that you do with your writing on here, it's such a blast to collaborate, and you guys all keep me inspired to write on here and think of new stuff. (and shout out u in particular for always leaving me about a thousand inbox prompts that hurt my feelings that i am possessed to draft 23423432 word replies to. thanks for enabling my angst and drama and dire writing ur so real for that genuinely)

i have waxed poetic in ur inbox i'll shut up before i just ramble the same nonsense here but like ily sm MWAHH

#wahhhhhhhhhHHHHHH #saved tbt

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thetragicallynerdy · 11 months

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All the fic writer ask questions are so interesting - I couldn't decide on one (or even a few) so please just choose the one(s) you'd like to answer the most!

Aww thanks friend!! Okay okay I went with these ones because they were calling to me:

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

So - I think it really depends on how you engage, but fandom isn't really fandom without some sort of community aspect. I say this as someone who lurked at the edges of fandoms for about 15 years before finally picking up writing, joining a discord server and fandom tumblr, and really becoming involved. Fandom before I started engaging was a sort of space that was fun to visit, but that I didn't feel any sort of belonging to - it wasn't until I actually started actively engaging that it became a community I was a part of. And community is lovely! We all need community, we're social creatures, etc. Engaging with so many different people in fandom also gets you out of your own head and experiences, and can be a really beautiful thing. Forcing myself out of my comfort zone has led to some absolutely wonderful friendships, and a community that I'm really grateful to be a part of <3

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

This is something that I still actively struggle with in different ways - I mainly write for small ships and small fandoms and it can lead to a lot of "well why aren't people noticing my work" type thoughts. I think the things that have helped me the most are:

being careful of my social media use and expectations around posting. I don't use twitter much because it isn't a healthy place for me re: fandom jealousy (and many other factors, but that's one of them). I also have all notifications off on sites like tumblr, so I'm not constantly watching for responses to things.

reminding myself that the responses to a fic don't really mean anything in regards to how well its written or how good it is - sometimes things just resonate with some people! I've gotten a TON of responses to what i consider one of my weaker works, and very few responses to other things that I consider my best work.

i am lucky and have some absolutely amazing readers and also amazing friends who hype up my work - finding those one or two people is so helpful! because it can change it from feeling like writing was pointless to remembering that 'hey, i'm writing for these people that i think will love this'.

for me personally, feeling bad about how a fic is doing is also often a sign that there's some other area of my life where my needs aren't being met - either i'm lonely, or a bit anxious, or sad, etc. So sometimes looking at 'what need am i trying to meet with this and why isn't it working' is helpful!

I think overall it is a PROCESS to disentangle the "my worth is tied to my work and people's love of it" and the more you practice the easier it gets - and if you notice it's particularly bad right then, it can be a good time to take a step back and re-evaluate your needs!

Thanks for the open ask pal <3 I hope you have a lovely day!!

Fic writer ask game can be found here for the curious!

#ask game #fic writer ask game #zombiethingy

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yasmeenblogs · 1 year

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A series of bitter sweet goodbyes:

A class of 30 people, a group of pals who shared all the bitter sweet moments and moral companionship.

Little did we realise all the good times we spent together are now turning into memories. Now the moments are morphed into memories and no doubt reminiscing the good old days will bring ecstatic smiles on our faces.

It's a strange feeling when I'm finally going to leave college, we had a love-hate relationship with our campus. I didn't think it would make me this sad. I'll not only miss these people but I'll also miss the person I was around in that place, between those people. I fear I'll never be that person ever again because we're getting older and I hate how fast the night changes.

I'll miss how we bunked classes, how we used to sit at our favourite spots for hours not wanting to leave, how we attended classes just for the sake of attendance, how our relation with canteen food evolved, from hating canteen food as freshers to having canteen food everyday. I know these will all be stories someday, and our pictures will become old photographs, all our funny videos will become memories. I just wanted to pen it down so that when I look back in time all my memories are preserved safe in a coffer. There are far too many things that I'm going to miss about that place and those people.

The people I shared smiles with are going to swift away, part ways and I'm sure it's for the better. How I wish time could stay just a little while but life goes on and on. I'm so glad to have met them, these people are going to continue their journey and all I wish for them is eternal bliss. It's making me so emo right now to think that these people are going to be parents one day, find their partners and grow in life. Let's end it here with the note that I wish them all the best for their futures and I know they're going to do amazing things in life and I wish them nothing but best with lots of luck, love and light.

-Yasmeen

------------------------------------------------------

Letters from my friends:

To my dearest Yasmeen,

The first time we talked I got a very friendly vibe. You are the most sweetest and beautiful person I have ever seen. And never cry. People like you should always smile. You're so beautiful man, i always get lost whenever I see you. You're such a pretty human I've ever met. Love you loads. I'm gonna miss you so much honey. Hope you achieve everything you desire for.

-R.V

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Hey pretty girl,

this is 'S'. I just have one thing to say... These 3 years with you have been magical. I'm so glad to have met you. Always stay the same and spread your beautiful smile.

-S.D

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Dear Yasmeen,

To the prettiest girl I saw, stay blessed always, keep smiling and shining always. Stay happy!

-M.T

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To dearest Yasmeen,

I'm really glad I met you and we made some really great memories. I wish all the best for your future and always stay happy, blessed and keep smiling. You have a beautiful one! Much love

-N.Z

---

Dearest Yasmeen,

Stay happy and healthy. Wish you all the best for your future. Enjoy being the #best phuphu EVER !!! Thanks for all the good memories, stay in touch okay?

-J.A

---

Dear Yasmeen,

You're a sweet person. Everyone wants to be friends with you. I'll cherish the days spent together. Stay happy and healthy. You have strong and confident mind. Love you.

-R.F

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Dear Yasmeen,

You are a lovely person to be friends with. It was really nice to know you. Be yourself. May you reach great heights.

-S.S

---

Yasmeen!

Pretty pretty Jasmine! Bhai tum bohat pyaare hai internally and externally. I just like your personality. Let's stay in touch forever. Shaadi me bulana meku.. I loveeeee you!

-A.F

---

Yasmeen.....!!

Even though I'm irregular but had a nice bond with you. I can't forget our wonderla trip. We had soo much funn.... And no doubt YOU ARE THE PRETTIEST GIRL. Be in touch.

-H.A

---

BEST PERSONALITY AWARD

-F.F

---

Dear Yasmeen!

The only innocent child I could imagine of. Quick to respond, very sweet. Thank you for such precious gift. All the best for your future. Loads of love

-M.G

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Yassu merijaan,

You're the sweetest person alive. Bohat genuine insaan hai tum, the best soul I've met in my life. Thank you for all the good days. Allah hamesha khush rakhe tumko. Best best insaaan hai tum! Please apna khayaal rakho, mental health is imp!

-F.J

---

Hey you pretty girl!

Be happy, eat healthy and stay the same. You are such a sweet, lovable girl. Thank you for existing and all the love to you. May you fulfill all your dreams and be happy throughout your life. Stay in touch, with love.

-J.S

---

Heylloo!!

Yasmeen, #the SWEETEST #THE prettiest #best photographer... Thank you for always listening to me with so much care and for always being there. Love you!! I will miss you

-S.A

---

(P.s: goodbye notes I received from a few of my friends on our last uni exam.)

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reluctant-mandalore · 1 year

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hi cy!!! i am here to fix your good to bad anon ratio by letting you know that you're one of the most wonderful people i've ever met and i'm so grateful that we've not only had the chance to just interact but also to become friends :)

you are literally just so kind and nice and sweet and everytime i see you on discord my brain just goes !!!!!!!!!!

i love getting the chance to chat with you because i feel like i'm being blessed with a beam of happy sunlight and you literally never fail to put a smile on my face :)))))))

you are also so fucking funny. the polls you were dishing out earlier were so fucking top tier i had such an amazing time interacting with them

your ann and boba content also never fails to make me laugh because their antics are so funny. just in general reading about them takes me on such an adventure because everything in that verse is so well thought out and big brain of you that my soul ends up at the mercy of ann and boba (and you, lmao)

anyway, i love you a lot bro and you deserve the whole world and a whole lot less shitty anons

ZIP!!! 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Pls this was so sweet. Ily sm 🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️Reading this after my shift was 100% the highlight of my day. I wanted to cry at how kind this was. But literally I ended up just sitting in my car grinning like a dumbass while reading your ask lmao

I’m so happy being your friend!! I love seeing you in the discord too and I always look forward to our conversations!! Literally anytime we interact I’m like 🥰✨ 🥰✨🥰✨ literally so excited every time!! And I look forward everyday to getting to talk with you tbh. Literally some days I’m just there like “zip!! My pal!! My friend :D” in my head when Im talking with you 😭❤️

Lmao thank you!! I’m glad you enjoyed the polls as much as I did! They were fun and I have some more ideas for them 👀 so 👀👀👀👀 we’ll see lol

THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS LISTENING WHEN I TALK ABOUT ANN AND BOBA!!! Literally I’m out here just rambling about them but you’re always so kind and supportive!! I’m glad you like them sm and find them funny. I Cannot Express enough how much I appreciate you taking the time to read about them. The fact you enjoy their antics as well is ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ my heart is so full 🥺

You have such a kind soul zip. I’m glad I met you ❤️❤️ I love you too and you deserve the galaxy my friend 🥺🥺

#asks #zip!!!#my friend ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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crystal-in-nagasaki · 2 months

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crochet club with my pals :)

During my time in Omura as an ALT, I've been so lucky to make some amazing friends with similar interests as me. One of those interests is crocheting! If you read one of my first posts on this blog, you'll know that I whiled away my final quarantine days in the US before my departure to Japan making a huge colorful cardigan out of yarn. Since my time in Japan has started, I've met many friends interested in crocheting and knitting, and we started an ALT crochet club of sorts in my town. I wanted to share a little about the experience here!

Our very first crochet club meeting was deemed to be a "stitch and bitch," so essentially we drank a lot of wine, complained about our lives, and crocheted. Some of my friends were new to crochet but interested in learning, so my very talented friend Roni and I tried to teach them the basics. At this gathering, we mostly just got drunk and not much crocheting was done, but it was very fun. Literally the only picture I have from this day is my friend Chrystal very drunk with a tiny crocheted hat on.

A year or more passed before we had another crochet club meeting. We decided to reinstate the club with more focus on actual crocheting and less focus on getting shitfaced and met on weekday nights instead. We usually would order takeout or cook something together, then crochet with some kind of trashy reality TV show playing in the background.

We would sometimes crochet in different places, usually rotating between everyone's houses so each person could take turns hosting. Eventually some of our Japanese friends joined and we got to spend time at their homes with their families eating homecooked meals.

Once or twice we also crocheted while having a picnic outside!

That was also the day I tried to make my cat-loving coworker a birthday gift, and brought this monstrosity into the world.

Needless to say, I didn't give it to her, but Kiwi dug it out of wherever I had it socked away and it has become one of his favorite toys <3

In October of last year, we got to do something really special. Our friend and coordinator got us a spot in a tent at a local festival, and we got to sell some of the things we made. It was really exciting. I made small flower earrings and my friends made many other things like bags, stuffed animals, scrunchies, scarves, and hats. I didn't make much money and I think I only sold two pairs of earrings (both to people I know haha) but it was a really cool experience. My partner even bought some of my earrings to support me :')

If you've noticed, I haven't shared much of what I've created from crochet club in this blog post, and the reason is because there isn't much. I hit a wall with my crocheting early on and kept making mistake after mistake after mistake. I wanted to just give up on ever crocheting again because I couldn't make anything great like my very talented friends were making. It was really awful and I felt really down on myself. But when I decided to make earrings for the festival in October, I finally was able to make something I was proud of for the first time in a long time. Now I'm trying hard not to compare myself too much to others and just try to improve my skills one step at time. And most importantly, I want to have fun! Of course crochet should be fun and not stressful. So I want to take it easy and just enjoy the process more.

The friends I've made here are amazing, and I'm so grateful to spend time with them doing the things we love together. I hope we can keep enjoying crochet together for the rest of this year before I return home <3

Thanks for reading!

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shortkingkirk · 7 months

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Back at my undergrad, hung out with my pal at our old haunts. Since the last time I was here, I've gotten sober. My absolute favorite thing that's been happening is this interaction usually

"You look so happy!"

"Thank you! I stopped drinking."

The looks on people's faces alone. Some of my friends seem genuinely baffled that I'm sober and not black out drunk charging across campus.

It's nice coming to the place where I learned what being me required. I don't regret (most) of my drinking days. I'm grateful for them because it taught me what was not okay. But I still had fun and met some amazing people that I would have never met sober.

#personal #writing #people are BAFFLED and its killing me

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letsstaywithstraykids · 2 years

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Lee Know for @starrylixie 💖 insp.

surprise surprise Lixie it's your pal, Mal 😉

Happy very late holidays and happy new years!!! 🥳 Lixie I've known you for a couple of months now and let me tell you, you are one of the most amazing and sweetest people I've met here on tumblr 💖 So to say that I was thrilled to get you for this secret santa event would be an understatement. I'm extremely sorry that I'm posting your gift so late but I do hope you like it! I hope you have an amazing new years and that this year presents you with loads of pleasant things to come; I also hope you and I can continue talking to each other and become even closer pals!

- your secret santa 💖

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 2 years

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Idiots at First Sight

Warnings: Mutual pining, implied smut, kissing, almost-naked!sam, slightly insecure reader.

Summary: Sam and Y/N are each sure their feelings are one-sided? Dean is sure they're both idiots? Who's right?

Pairings: Sam Winchester x fem!reader, Dean

Word Count: 2,631

A/N: This is a request from @tieddown-withbattleshipchains for a Sam x Reader fic. This is the very first time I've ever written for Sam as a main character, and the first time I've ever written any Sam smut. (implied or otherwise) I'm a full on Dean girl, but I love Sammy so much, so I hope I did him justice here and that all my Sam Girls enjoy this one! 😘💓 and @tieddown-withbattleshipchains, I hope this is what you were looking for! 🥰

A/N 2: So, I realized that I don't have any Sam tag lists (I'll have to change that!) so I'm going to tag most of my usual peeps, but if you're absolutely NOT interested in being tagged in any future Sam fics, please don't hesitate to tell me in the comments - or message me, or send an ask, or...I don't know, send me an owl, whatever works😁 and I'll make note of it.

The beautiful divider at the bottom was created by @talesmaniac89 💓

"Okay, Sammy! I'm outta here."

Sam looked up from his laptop and frowned as he watched his brother pull on his heavy leather jacket.

"What do you mean, outta here?"

"Well," Dean spoke incredibly slowly, enunciating each word precisely as though trying not confuse his little brother. "I am go-ing to leave now and I will be back later on."

Sam's expression flashed from confused to extremely annoyed instantly.

"You're hilarious. I mean, where are you going? It's 11:00 at night."

"That's when the fun starts little brother, and I am off to find some fun. I won't be back til tomorrow which means," Dean smacked Sam's shoulder roughly, "you and Y/N can have a little fun of your own."

Dean winked and Sam groaned. "Oh for - Dean, how many times do I have to tell you that there is nothing going on between us before you'll just believe me and drop it?"

Dean pulled on his boots. "Oh, I believe you, Sam. This is my way of telling you you're a moron."

Dean grinned at him and Sam pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah, thanks!"

Dean shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Look Sammy, that little girl is madly in love with you and you are an absolute idiot if you don't do something about it. I've never seen two people so completely oblivious to one another!"

"I dare you to call her a little girl to her face." Sam said, scoffing. "She'll kick your ass."

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, probably. Chick's a badass." He pointed at Sam. "Yet another reason you should jump on the chance to...ah, well you know, jump on her."

Sam licked his lips and shook his head. "You're an idiot."

Dean stood up and shouldered his duffel bag. His eyes lost their teasing glint and he leveled a serious look at his clueless brother.

"Seriously Sammy, Y/N's pretty amazing, you guys are sort of perfect for each other, both a couple of nerds at heart, and I'm telling you man, she's nuts for you."

When Sam scoffed again, Dean cut him off. "Look, you can scoff all you want, but it's right there, dude. All you gotta do is look."

Dean walked out of the motel room and a minute later Sam heard the Impala's engine roar to life and then fade off into the distance.

Sam got back to searching through strange news stories, looking for their next case, but he couldn't get Dean's words out of his head.

He's wrong. Sam thought. Y/N just sees me as a pal. She's a kickass hunter, and she's been hanging around with us because we find good cases and she wants to be a part of them.

That was all there was to it. There was no way she thought about him the way he thought about her, no way her mind spent hours dwelling on him, dreaming of him, desperate for him.

No way. She was his obsession, not the other way around.

It started from pretty much the moment he met her. They ended up on the same werewolf case, and she was at the coroner's office as they came in, flashing her fake badge, wearing a pencil skirt and high heels and a thousand fantasies had started in his head right in that moment.

They hadn't let up since.

Things had gotten progressively worse as the three of them realized they made a pretty great team, and Y/N had started joining them on more and more hunts.

Then they'd all started sharing the cost of transportation and motel fees and she'd taken up residence in the backseat of the Impala during most road trips.

And worst of all she'd started sharing a bed with him in their cheap motel rooms; her soft, warm body ending up pressed into his very...stiff body, every night.

Or maybe that was best of all. He couldn't tell anymore. All he knew was that it was an exquisite kind of torture to listen to her sleepy moans and soft sighs while she snuggled her ass into his crotch night after night.

And for nearly two months now Dean had been hounding him, subtle teasing at first, but eventually out and out calling him on his obsession with her. He had insisted from the beginning that Y/N was just as into him, but Sam had never seen it.

The odd time he'd thought maybe he saw her glance linger on him a moment longer than necessary. And sometimes when they were researching, sitting across from each other, he'd look up and see her looking at him through her long, thick eyelashes, but he was sure it was just his imagination, or her mind was just elsewhere. It was just wishful thinking to imagine heat in her gaze.

He slammed his laptop closed and groaned, dropping his head into his hands. This was ridiculous. Now he needed a shower to get his body under control before she came back from the beer run she was on.

As he stripped off, heading into the bathroom he shook his head again. Dean was wrong, he was sure of it.

***

Y/N set the beer down on the table and took off her coat, wondering where the boys had gone off to. The car was gone and so were they, the room was empty.

Well, they could have left me a note, she thought. I just walked six blocks to bring them beer and they can't even leave me a note?

She rolled her eyes at them fondly. Sometimes it was like they were raised by wolves. She really loved travelling with them, and the more she was with them, the more it felt like she'd found her family. But they were definitely dudes, through and through, and sometimes it seemed like they forgot she wasn't.

Sometimes she had to remind them that she didn't need to see their stinky socks and dirty underwear lying around, although Dean was the worst culprit for that kind of stuff. Sam tended to be much tidier.

But aside from giving her a wide berth when she was "pms-ing", (an attitude she never failed to find annoying, like she was going to take the machete to THEIR necks or something) for the most part they both treated her like one of the guys.

Which, coming from Dean was great and coming from Sam was torture.

Dean was very much her big brother, he was such a goof and an occasional idiot, and she loved him to pieces. She loved how much he cared and how protective he was, and though it was obvious he was an incredibly good looking guy, she'd just never felt that way about him. Maybe because by the time she saw Dean, she'd already fallen in love at first sight with his little brother.

God the day he'd walked into that coroner's office, waring his dark blue fed suit and crisp white shirt, that was just it, the last day her heart had belonged to her alone.

From that moment on she'd been falling for him, for his sweet, sensitive heart, for his mind and the way it solved puzzles and disseminated information so quickly, for his badassery and the way he moved like a lion when he fought - fast, and powerful, his beautiful, reddish-brown mane flowing around him.

It was getting more and more difficult to act as though she was unaffected by him. She felt like she was becoming pretty obvious in the way she stared at him, but she couldn't help it. She found his beauty endlessly fascinating.

He was just so giant. He tended to dominate any space he was in, or at least his big, thickly-muscled body dominated the space in her mind, living there rent free 24/7.

She found herself fascinated by his massive hands, so powerful and yet so capable of tenderness and delicacy when necessary. She spent way too much time imagining them on her skin, and how they'd move, strong but graceful, along her body.

And then there was his smile. It was like something magical. Sam could be pretty serious, so nothing made her happier than when she could bring about that sunshine smile. It was just everything.

She shook her head as she walked further into the room, trying to clear her mind of all the lustful, sinful thoughts plaguing her. She supposed she should take a cold shower before the boys came back from wherever they'd scampered off to and she was forced to spend another night pressed up tight against Sam's hard, muscular frame.

She opened the door to the bathroom, and stepped into the steamy room, closing the door behind her all in the same instant that the reality hit her of just what was standing in front of her.

Wrapped in nothing but a towel, slung low on his hips and barely covering his lower half, Sam stood just outside the bathtub, having clearly just finished a shower. He was frozen in place.

Y/N's mind was yelling at her to walk back out, or turn around, or cover her eyes, or do any of the respectful things she should be doing, but she just couldn't force her eyes away from him.

She watched a drop of water bead from the end of his long hair and then travel along his collar bone to the dip between his wide pecs, and then down over his abs, taking the path of least resistance through those hard, rippling muscles to dip into his belly button before getting lost in the thin line of hair that led to whatever sat just below the line of terrycloth that circled his waist.

She licked her lips and bit her bottom lip, completely parched and thinking how pleasant it would be to lick up some moisture from the taut, tan skin of Sam Winchester.

Sam started walking incredibly slowly towards her and she came to her senses a little, still sort of dizzy. She shook her head and attempted to speak. Her voice came out squeaky, but at least words formed.

"Sorry, I thought...the car was not...and I thought..."

Okay, she thought, so they aren't coherent words, but they're words.

Sam smiled and his dimples appeared, shutting down her vocal abilities once again.

He continued to stalk slowly toward her, his expression different than she'd ever seen it. There was something almost predatory in his hazel eyes, something that made her heart beat triple time and her core muscles tighten.

"You're staring." He said, his voice deeper and huskier than she'd ever heard it before. "Do you like what you see?"

Y/N swallowed hard as he stopped not two feet away from her. "Do you?"

Not knowing what else to do, Y/N nodded and took in a shuddery breath.

"Then I think it's my turn." He said and reached slowly for the hem of her t-shirt.

His long fingers brushed against the skin at her waistband and Y/N panicked, pushing his hands away.

As though some mystical haze had been blown away, Sam straightened and stepped back, his expression clearing and returning to his usual soft, serious one.

He wrapped one long arm around his torso and reached the other up to push back his wet hair.

"Shit, Y/N I'm sorry." He said, obviously embarrassed. "I thought, it looked like you were, like maybe you were into me, but I..." He shook his head and mumbled. "I'm gonna punch Dean in the face."

Y/N wanted to punch herself for ruining the moment. Sam was finally looking at her like she was a girl, and she'd pushed him away? God she was an idiot. And now she'd made him feel bad. She had to try and explain.

"No, Sam, please." Her voice was thin and wispy. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Please, don't apologize. I did...I mean I was..." Her voice shrunk again. "I was into you. I am. Into you."

Sam was shaking his head. "No, really, Y/N it's okay, you don't have to say that just to make me feel better."

Y/N frowned. "I'm not. Sam, don't you know..."

She sighed deeply. "Look, I just panicked okay. I mean - " she raised her hand toward him. "You're friggin' perfect. And I'm," she laughed without much humor, "I am definitely not."

Sam frowned at her and dropped his arms back to his sides. He took a tentative step toward her again and then another, until he was close enough to reach out and cup her cheek in his big palm.

"Y/N, you're perfect to me."

He lifted his other hand to brush the hair back off her forehead. "The way your mind works and the ideas and strategies you come up with."

He trailed his fingertips through her hair and then down her neck and across her chest to rest delicately against her heart. "Your beautiful strong heart and the way you never back down when it comes to protecting those who can't protect themselves."

He moved both his hands to her ribs and ran them down over her waist to her hips, where he squeezed hard fingers into the softness there. "The curves of your body and the way they entice me to bury myself in them."

He pressed her back against the door, while pulling her hips forward so she could feel the very physical proof of just how enticing he found her. She breathed in a gasp and exhaled a moan at the hardness pressing into her thigh.

He touched his soft lips to the underside of her jaw and she brought her hands up to run hesitantly across his chest and grip his broad shoulders.

He slipped his hands up under her shirt and whispered against the shell of her ear.

"Let me show you just how perfect you are, Y/N?"

He turned his hazel gaze on her and she smiled shyly. "Yes, Sam, please." She said softly.

He captured her mouth with his, his soft lips turning hungry and demanding. He swiped his tongue across her lips and she answered his invitation by opening her mouth and allowing him to lick up into her. He tasted of mint and spice and she ran her own tongue sinuously along his, savoring the combination.

He reached behind her and opened the bathroom door and she would have fallen backwards, but he held her tightly against him. He walked her backwards until they hit the bed and fell on it together, in a tangle of limbs and laughter.

They spent hours that night discovering each other; every inch of each other's skin, every sensitive hollow and gentle swell of each other's bodies. They gave and received endless pleasure, hands and mouths celebrating their coming together at last.

And they both reveled in the knowledge that they'd been wrong about how the other one felt.

They fell asleep less than an hour before dawn, finally content to wrap themselves around each other in the night and dream together.

A few hours later they were still too exhausted to hear the rumbling of the Impala's engine as it pulled into the spot out front, or notice the squeak of the door as Dean pushed it open and stopped short in the doorway.

He looked across the room at the lump under the blankets, and was just able to make out Y/N's head pillowed against his brother's chest and Sam's arm slung around her back.

A big, soft smile wreathed Dean's face as he stepped back and quietly pulled the door closed. He climbed back into the front seat of the Impala and stretched out.

He ran his hand over the leather seat lovingly and gloated.

"See, Baby. I'm always right."

@akshi8278, @lgranger67, @maggiegirl17,@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone, @foxyjwls007, @b3autyfuldisast3r, @myloversgone, @kazsrm67, @fangirlxwrites67, @kickingitwithkirk, @charred-angelwings, @hopefuldreamers-world, @siospins, @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp, @my-sherlock221b, @jensensgotyoudean @lyarr24, @snowlovespie, @stixnstripesworld, @thoughts-and-funnies, @magssteenkamp, @norman1967, @princessmisery666, @mishkatelwarriorgoddess, @deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy, @eevvvaa, @b-i-t-c-h-i-e, @twirpbunwarrior, @mysweetlittledesire, @waynes-multiverse

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vdlest · 3 years

Text

For A Lifetime

Characters:

Husband!Bucky Barnes x Wife!Reader

Groom!Bucky Barnes x Bride!Reader

Summary:

You just got married to the man you love, and on the reception, you are asked to give a message to your husband.

Warning:

Fluff

You still can't believe that it's your wedding day, that you are finally married to the love of your life, that you are finally Mrs. Barnes. You find it so surreal and hard to believe that the man you are holding hands with right now is your husband and the man you'll grow old with.

Bucky has been your boyfriend for five years, you two owe your love story to Steve because it was him who introduced you to Bucky. Since then, you two were inseparable, until Bucky finally asked you to be his girl, and you gladly said yes. You two shared a beautiful relationship, traveled to a lot of places already, fought some issues and odds together, and five years later, he popped another question for you, the kind of question that changed your life forever. He asked you to marry him, and you did say yes, and after a few months of planning, here you are, finally Mrs. Barnes.

Realizing the years you and Bucky have been through, you tilt your head and glance at your husband who is sitting beside you. You and the rest of your guests are in the reception and the dinner is being served at the moment, but you are already full of love.

"So my Mrs. Barnes," Bucky glances at you and squeezes your hand that he's holding since the ceremony, "Do you want me to dismiss our guests so we could finally have time for ourselves?" he asked naughtily.

You chuckled and pinched his nose, "Let's not be rude, love. We have every time in the world to do whatever we want," you replied, giving his hand a squeeze, "For now, let's enjoy this night with our family and friends," you added.

Planning a wedding is one of the most stressful things you've done, but it was a good thing that many people helped you and Bucky all throughout the planning. Nat and Wanda helped you in finding the right wedding gown for this once in a lifetime milestone in your life, on the other hand, it was Steve and Sam who helped Bucky to find the best suit he could wear for this special day, and they did a great job, seeing your husband so dapper in his suit tonight.

Gathering all your family and close friends is kind of tough, but with the help of Nat and the rest of the team, everything you dreamed of about your wedding was made possible.

You and Bucky were still munching over the dessert when the microphone echoes right through the whole hall, which made you looked over the stage and you saw Steve standing in the middle holding a wine glass.

"Hey, everyone! Can I have everyone's attention please?" he asked.

You and Bucky exchanged glances, both puzzled with Steve's presence in the middle of the stage.

"What's this punk doing there?" Bucky whispered.

You shrugged, "I don't know. We'll see," you answered.

When Steve finally got everyone's attention, he cleared his throat and speaks again in the microphone, "I know it's not my place to start the message giving kind of thing, and I know Bucky is asking himself and his beautiful wife what am I doing here," he glances at you, which made you smile because of the thought that he called you Bucky's wife, "Well, to answer your question Buck, Nat asked me to start the message giving since I am the best man."

"It's not like I have any other choice, man," Bucky yelled, which made everyone laugh.

"Shut up, Buck. It's not your time to talk. Y/n, can you zip your husband's mouth, please?" Steve joked. He cleared his throat once again, "Anyway, Buck, I have no idea what to tell you right now. You're a great man and I don't need to tell you to be a faithful and a good husband to y/n because I know you will. I don't need to tell you to make her happy all the time because I know you will and you're already making her happy. I don't need to tell you the things that a husband does for his wife, because first, I have no idea how to be a husband, and second, I know you'll figure it out. And for you, y/n," Steve moved his eyes towards you, "I wish you had the best nights of sleep of your life because you won't be getting any now that you're married to this punk."

Everyone laughed again because of Steve's joke. You took a glance at Bucky who is still holding your hand to see his reaction to his best friend's joke, and he hurriedly wiped his mouth using his hand, trying to hide the embarrassment he felt because of Steve's joke.

Steve playfully shook his head, "I think I might have an idea on what gift I should give Y/N on Christmas," he clicked his tongue, "I think I'm gonna get her bunch of Tylenol for her headaches," he joked, making everyone laugh again.

"'Gonna kill this man later," your husband murmured as he pulls you closer to him.

Bucky let go of your hand and wrapped his arms around you, you leaned towards him, feeling his warmth as you both listen to Steve's speech.

"Kidding aside, Y/N, you are married to a good man. Ever since he met you, there's not a day that he doesn't think of what will make you happy, of what will make you feel his admiration and love for you. When you two met, I saw something different in him. He learned how to trust people, even more, he learned to open up, not just to you but to everyone else. So Buck, y/n," he raised his wine glass, "I wish the two of you years of endless love and fruitful marriage. I may not be a husband to anyone, but I promise the two of you that I will be a good uncle to your little ones soon, not just that, I promise you two that I'll be here whenever you two needed a friend. I love you both! Let's cheers to Mr. & Mrs. Barnes, everyone!"

"Cheers!" everyone shouted.

"Cheers!" you and Bucky joined and after you two took a sip from your glasses, the two of you shared a quick kiss.

When Steve walked down the stage, he walked towards you and Bucky. It was you who he approached first and hugged you.

"Thank you, Steve," you thanked him as you hug him back, "Your presence means a lot to us. We love you too," you whispered.

Steve taps your back gently before he pulled away and hugs his pal next.

Seeing Bucky and Steve hug each other made you smile. You did not witness how their friendship started, but you have a lifetime to witness how their friendship will grow even more.

"Love you, Buck," Steve said as he hugs his best friend.

Bucky taps Steve's back, "Love you, brother," he answered.

Before Steve went back to his seat, he handed you the microphone, signaling that it's now your turn to give a message to your husband.

You happily accepted it and find your way to the stage.

"That's one of a good speech, Cap," you said looking at Steve who is now seated in the middle of Sam and Nat. You next took a glance one by one of your guests as you start your speech, "First things first, thanks to everyone for coming here tonight and for taking your time to celebrate this milestone with me and my husband," your eyes landed on Bucky, "God, I still can't believe you're my husband now."

Tears are starting to form in your eyes, and it's making your sight a bit blurry but it won't stop you from seeing the priceless smile on Bucky's face.

"Just like what my favorite song says, my soul found you and fell in love," you recited a part of your favorite song, For A Lifetime sung by Ryann Darling, "When Steve introduced you to me, I wasn't looking for anything, I was so tired of dating and ended up failing because I can't find the guy who would understand me. I promised myself I won't date anymore, but you happened," your eyes remained looking at Bucky as you continue your message for him, "It's like when we met, a voice came over to me and told me that I just found what I am looking and waiting for. I found it the moment we found each other. And I told myself, you are the most amazing man I've ever met in my entire life, apart from my Dad of course," you said glancing at your dad who is sitting behind Bucky.

When your eyes went back to Bucky, you saw him smile and looked down a bit.

He must've remembered the time when he met your Dad. He was nervous as hell. He didn't know what to tell him, so he just told him that he loves you with all of his heart and soul. He told him he can barely give you anything, but he would be 100% willing to give you his whole heart and love.

"Buck," you called him and his eyes met yours again, "Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for bringing so much happiness to my life. Thank you. Just thank you," your tears finally run down your cheeks, "I love you."

As soon as those three words came out of your mouth, Bucky rapidly stood up from where he was sitting and went up to the stage with you. Once he was in front of you, he didn't waste any time, he kissed you.

"I love you more than life itself," he said after kissing you and gave you a quick kiss again. "Everyone," Bucky yelled and raised his wine glass, "Let's cheers for my beautiful wife. To Mrs. Barnes!" he cheered.

"To Mrs. Barnes!" everyone cheered.

You cupped Bucky's face and made him face you, "Love you," you said and rested your forehead against his nose.

Ryann Darling said on his song, my soul found you and fell in love, while for you, your soul found Bucky, fell in love, and stay in love forever.

-v.dl

#Spotify #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel #bucky barnes fluff

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teebarnes · 3 years

Text

✨ | A Bad Day

Click [100 Followers Fic] for the rest of the 100 follower fics :)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!reader

Summary: You had a bad day at work and Bucky knows that, so takes this chance to brighten your bad day.

Word Count: 2k

Warning(s): Fluff, crying... I think that's about it.

A/N: Thank you for 100 followers! Plus, I mean, who wouldn't want Bucky to comfort them after a bad day? (GIF isn't mine)

⤑ Click here for my taglist to be notified when I post my future fics.

Any Likes, Comments & Reblogs are super duper appreciated :))

Locking the door behind you, you lean yourself against your door, sliding to the floor. Tears flowing down your face, you pike your knees up you to the chest, wrapping your arms around them. It was another one of those awful days at work, your face hidden in the nook you made. You slowly sobbed to yourself, trying to express the bad day you had quietly into your house as if it could listen.

The quietness of your rural home thickened the sound of your tears; you sigh deeply into your knees, attempting to catch the breath you longed for. Then, calming yourself, you wipe the tears with the end of your jumper before hearing your phone ring. A few sniffs holding the fact you were crying, you check your phone to see it was your best friend calling.

"Yellop", you softly chime to your best friend on the end of the other line. You can hear an audible laugh. "Yellop doll, how was your day?" The voice you always long to hear at the end of your days. "U-usual", you softly chocked out before continuing ", how about you, old man? How was your day?" You giggle slightly at your remark.

A long pause extended your conversation with him before he broke the silence with a soft laugh through his nose, "usual, same since we last spoke", you smile, getting up, taking the conversation to your couch. Hearing his voice had taken away any sadness you had before you even picked up the phone. "Hey, I'm coming over. I need your help," he says, which piques your interest.

"What does a 107-year-old man need my help for? I'm sure you have all the life experience you need," you joked; Bucky gasps ", ouch, my feelings… they're hurting because of you", he laughs, causing the two of you to roll your eyes at each end of the line. "May I ask what you need help with?" You sat up from the couch, eagerly waiting for his reply.

A steady silence homed their conversation for a few seconds "a date y/n… there is this beautiful woman I want to ask on a date." He sighs.

Your face drops slightly, tears rushing down your face again like the ones before. Quickly wiping the tears, you answer, so Bucky doesn't worry "a date, huh? Since when do you socialise" you half-laughed to yourself sadly. "well… doll. You see, I don't if I'm honest," you both laugh, waiting for him to continue. "But… she is amazing, beautiful, the most incredible person I've met", he boasts to you over the phone.

You couldn't help but wallow in your thoughts for a bit, wishing that it were you he was talking about. But you knew that you two were just made to be the best of friends; despite how you felt towards him, you knew he could never feel the same. It took you a while to collect yourself when Bucky spoke again, breaking your train of thought. "Doll?" Your eyes focus again on your surroundings, coming back to the reality that you wanted to run away from right then and there. "Doll, are you there?" He asks again; you clear your throat "yes! yes… sorry, yes I am." You coughed.

"I am happy for you, Buck! She will be so lucky to have you." You stand up from the couch walking into your kitchen. "I am the lucky one, actually…" he replies softly. You smile at his reply only to realise the context of the conversation before answering back to him, "Well… are you sure you need my help? I feel you have all of that covered. I don't think I could be of much help to you, Buck." You held the phone between your shoulder and your ear as you opened the fridge up to check what was for dinner tonight. "I most certainly do doll. You are a vital part to getting this right," he excitedly says; you could never turn him down.

Even after being his friend for over ten years, you still couldn't say no to him. "Geez, Bucky, you really are serious… I'll have you know, though. I haven't had a boyfriend since I met you, so I'll only be able to give you basic pointers," you laugh to yourself. "Doll, don't worry about it… as long as you're there, that's all I need." He swoons. You couldn't help but laugh, "see, buck, with that attitude, I think she will say yes." You lightly say, "plus, have you asked Steve? I'm sure he has better advice to give," you question. "Yeah, I did… no help there", he laughs.

"Okey dokes, well I'm going to take my shower n stuff… you've got a key so you can let yourself in, alright?" You say, continuing to push through the built-up tears and emotions that halted at your throat. "Okay, doll! See you shortly," he says "see ya, Buck" you smile, hanging up.

Not knowing it, but your world fell before you; you didn't want to lose Bucky to a woman he hasn't even told you about. Then again, you cared for his happiness, that is what he needed after all the trauma he had been put through. You shook off the tears sucking up the pain into your stomach, heading to take a shower.

Bucky’s POV

"How do I tell her, Steve?" Bucky groans, pacing around the living room, "I love her so goddam much, but I am afraid to lose her. What if she doesn't like me and only sees me as a friend-"Bucky is cut off by Nat, who is sitting on the other side of the couch reading a book. "Bucky, I am going to slap some sense into you soon. She is head over heels for you." She sighs, getting up to leave the room. Bucky continues to pace again, with Steve closely watching.

"Ask her on a date Buck. Go from there," Steve lightly says, leaning back into his seat. "Hey doll, I know we've been best friends for ten years now, but I just wanted to let you know that I've fallen in love with you since the day we met", he frustrates into the palm of his hands. Steve chuckles a bit, "sounds about right", he snorts. Bucky wide-eyed to his oldest friend. "Ahaha, so funn-" he is cut off with a buzzing in his left pocket.

Reaching in, he picks it up "oh, it's just Sam" he rolls his eyes, answering, "what's up, Sam?" Sam sighs "have you talked to y/n recently?" He asks, which immediately makes Bucky furrow his eyebrows "no, why? Has something happened?" A pause before Sam speaks, "Can you check on her, please. She had a rough day at work. I have a feeling she is not at her best at the moment." Bucky's eyes dull hearing that the woman he's in love with is sad "okay, on it. Thanks for letting me know, Sam", he let out a sigh. "I've given her the week off, but please check." He sternly asks. "You have my word Sam" Bucky hangs up, turning to Steve.

"She had a bad day at work…" he frowns before plopping himself on the couch. "Well, buck, this may be a good opportunity to take her out on a date? Or even have a sneaky film night?" He stands up, patting his friend's shoulder. Bucky gives a slight grin, nodding, "Thanks, pal".

Steve walks out of the room, leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts, "okay okay okay, I can do this, I can do this." He hypes himself up, taking his phone pressing your contact that he had on speed dial.

"Yellop" Bucky hears on the other end of the phone; he couldn't help but melt to the sweetness of your voice. It was one he loved so much. It wasn't unusual to call each other; it was a religious routine for the both of you. If one didn't call, the other would. But this time, it was different; Bucky was nervous; it has taken him ten years to work up the courage to ask you out. But he still couldn't, not without seeing your face, not without being able to hold you as he said he loved you and not without comforting you first. He knew you didn't want to burden him with your troubles, so he took it upon himself to make up an excuse just to see you.

After the call, Bucky knew that you'd been hiding your emotions just to have your usual conversation with him. He felt even guiltier when he went on and on about you but never had the guts to tell you that he was talking about you.

Bucky packed a night bag from his room, packing it onto his motorbike before making his way to the local supermarket that was on the way to your house.

He picked up some of your favourite snacks and a bunch of your favourite flowers, securing them on his bike before riding to your house. Then, turning his bike off, he left it parked in your garage, heading inside. He closed the door behind him, walking into the kitchen laying the snacks on the table before heading down the hall into your room. He could hear the shower running and knew you were still in there.

He could hear you singing a soft melody of your favourite song; Bucky smiled, took his shoes off, and set them at the door in the hallway. Bucky flopped onto your soft bed with the flowers he had for you hidden on the bedside away from the bathroom door so you wouldn't be able to see them when you'd come out.

Finishing your shower a few minutes later, you wrapped your hair in a towel. Drying yourself and popping on your oversized henley, the same one Bucky had given you all those years ago when you had nothing to wear the first time you slept at his. You put some undies on and Van's socks. Using the dryer to dry your hair, you fitted your thick hair into a messy bun with your black scrunchy. "Alright", you took a deep breath before heading out to see Bucky lying on your bed.

"Oh, Buck! Hey," you smiled at him. His head was comfy on the bedsheets; he turned to see you, a bright smile upon his face. "Hey, doll," he noticed straight away that you weren't wearing any pants, something he was used to but not used to at the same time. You'd always make a fuss over going to bed with pants on; you hated wearing pants to bed. So you just opted for socks. "So", you sigh, flopping on the bed next to him. "Who is the girl?" You asked, turning your body to the side facing him. He chuckled, rolling over the edge of the bed, coming back to meet you, your favourite flowers in his hand; you both were face to face.

"You"…

You look at him, jerking your face back a bit in surprise but totally melting seeing the flowers. "M-me?" You reply; Bucky smiles, brushing the hair from your face nodding, "It's always been you y/n." His arm caressed your cheek, and you couldn't help but rest yours on his. You kissed the inner of his hand before taking the flowers leaving them on the bedside table.

"You know how long I've wanted to tell you that I love you" you smiled almost in tears; wrapping his metal arm around your waist, Bucky pulled your body close to his "And you know how long I've wanted to say the exact same thing" he rested his head against yours "I am in love with you y/n, I've loved you ever since I met you". You sniffled, cupping his cheek before leaning in, kissing his chapped lips; he leaned into him, kissing back "and just when I thought I was going to have to let you go, you prove me wrong," you chuckled through your tears.

He chuckles with you. "I couldn't tell you on the phone. I had to be here. Plus, Sam told me you had a bad day, so I wanted to be with you." You smiled, giving him the biggest hug. "Thank you, Buck. Thank you for doing this" he kissed the top of your head.

"You're welcome, love", he smiled.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian Stan's Taglist: @buckyswintersoldiermask @lharrietg @buckyfan12 @afraid-to-be-me @fairityretro

#bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes one shot #bucky fic #bucky barnes x female reader #teebarnesfics

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burningblake · 2 years

Text

I've gained much from being a Mentalist fan, but mostly I've gained friends that I wouldn't have met otherwise and for that I feel blessed.

Britt (@robntunney) is honestly one of the most amazing people I had the honor of knowing. It is such a lovely way to start one's day by finding such a generous gift in the mail! I'm honestly speechless!

It's been a treat to be able to share my thoughts and discuss fandom things with you! You're truly a rare one (yes, quoting Simon Baker here, because it applies so well!)

About the content of the gift, where can I start? As a European, I'm beyond thrilled with the popping candy! I can't believe you got my favorite disney princess movie right and I can't hype the Mentalist-themed merch enough. I can't wait to personalize all my stuff with them. If you need to know, she makes these beautiful enamel pins and keychain ornaments (among other things) by herself and you can find her online shop via her blog @drmedusagrey. Make sure to check out her stuff, as she makes things for other fandoms as well!

I can say little to express my full gratitude, but in any case, a big

THANK YOU

from me. I sincerely wish you all the best in life!

PS: Signing as "U no hoo" should honestly become a tradition among Mentalist pen pals!

#the mentalist #jisbon #patrick jane #teresa lisbon #happy tag #robntunney #the mentalist merch

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asexual-means-no-attraction · 2 years

Note

Do you know how to explain trans to older people / parents? I've gotten the same question over and over from both my parents and grandparents and that's "But why do you want to be a boy if you don't like cars or don't want to play sports?" Upon clarification, I essentially found out that they seem to believe NOT that all men like cars and trans men do too, but that people transition specifically because they want to do the hobbies "of the opposite sex." Like to them it isn't even "I'm becoming a boy, so I like cars and sports", but "I like cars and sports so I'll become a boy." Like to them, my cis guy pal who likes ballet and dolls has enough reasons to become a girl.

My sexologist (we don't have GIPs here, a sexologist works with trans people) tried to explain it to my mother repeatedly but failed every time (my mom kept going in circles no matter how many times the sexologist explained everything).

I also tried to explain it by saying that it's a neurological condition that causes my brain to be of a different gender than the body and that my sexual characteristics and things like voice or the lack of facial hair cause me distress. I was met with "But you liked both dolls and cars when you were little! And you didn't tell us that you were a boy when you were a toddler!" and tried to explain "Well, I didn't even know trans people existed, how could I have known that I was when I was a kid? Do you know that your leg is broken if you don't know what a broken leg is? Plus you always told me that I could play with anything and never bothered to gender toys nor clothes, probably because I was a girl so you didn't think I'd need that knowledge, so I played with anything." but they never listen to that, they say "No! All trans people know they're trans since they're born! They demand to be called a different name (a fun fact is that I did actually express absolute hatred of my name since an early age) and refuse to even socialise with people of their agab!"

I have no idea how I'm supposed to explain myself to them. I ran out of ideas tbh.

I can't promise these ideas will help but I got a few ideas. Note that a lot of these over simplify things and aren't going to be perfect analogies. But they can help to at least get someone in the right direction. And yes I am aware of how vaguely these relate-- but from what it sounds being specific isn't helping. Warning too: these ideas can apply to a lot more than being trans just an fyi.

When I first started realizing I was trans I explained it to myself using two things:

1. Imagine you're on a tran and you're going through a tunnel. It's dark but it's not bad. You're comfortable. Can't see anything out the window but you don't mind. You're ok where you are. You're content. Suddenly, the tunnel ends! And you can see out the window. There is an amazing view!! The most amazing view you've ever seen. And even tho you were just content and satisfied in the tunnel, you don't want to go back now. You were content in the tunnel until you saw the view outside. Of course you don't want to be in the tunnel when you can see this amazing view! Similarly, you were content as a girl until you really started thinking about yourself as a boy-- and now you can't imagine going back. Because you like being a boy so much more.

2. I personally really don't like vanilla cake. Like... I really don't. But I can still eat it. I like the frosting that comes with it. If someone hands me vanilla cake I won't complain, I won't be upset. I'll eat it and be fine. But if someone offered me vanilla or chocolate cake-- I'd pick the chocolate cake hands down every time. I love chocolate cake. I'd eat it all day if I could. If chocolate is ever an option, then vanilla will never make me happy. If being a boy is an option, then being a girl will never make me happy.

A few other ideas I got:

3. Ever had a family member knits you an itchy and ugly sweater that you hate? (I never have personally, but still). Do you remember having to wear it to family gatherings all the time to make that person happy? Your parents made you and you hated every second of it? But you still did it. And seeing that smile on that family members face... Well, it made it feel a little more ok. You're happy that they are happy. You're glad you could show them you care even if you don't actually like the sweater. We all do things we don't like in order to show we love those around us. It's just part of showing you care.

Often when you're trans, you'll look, wear, play with, etc certain things because they are there and they make you happy. You're mom gave you a doll, of course you're gonna play with it. It was a gift from mom and you love your mom. Your grandma buys you a dress, of course you're gonna wear it. She wanted to make you happy and it's not a terrible dress. Because you were raised as a girl, of course there will be girly things you've liked in the past. Because you were a girl, you were given girl clothes and girl toys-- naturally you wore and played with those. Because you want to show you care about the gifts given to you.

Now that you're older, you have more of a choice in what you say, wear, and do. And part of growing was realizing you were trans. And just because you were given girl clothes and toys as a kid, doesn't change anything about who you are.

4. Let's say you are 8 and have a potato allergy. Everytime you eat potatoes you get what you call "potato sweats." Everything gets hot and a sweaty and you wanna pass out. But as time goes on you're fine. You think everyone deals with this because no one has told you that it's not normal. No one else complains about potatoes. You figure everyone just deals with the potato sweats and it's fine.

Once you're in high school you complain about the potato sweats while eating fries. And your friend looks at you like you're insane. You explain what you're talking about and everyone at your table tells you it's not normal. You talk to a doctor and they tell you that you're allergic. How were you supposed to know? You thought it was normal to feel that way!! It wasn't until you learned about how others feel when eating potatoes and you knew something was wrong.

Being trans is very similar. Sometimes you're so used to feeling outta place with your own body that it feels normal to you. It's not till later that you may realize what you're feeling isn't actually normal.

That's all I can think of right now. If anyone else has ideas feel free to share. I tried to keep my ideas broad because I feel like that easier to understand.

#answered #ask #not discourse #trans #trans advice #lgbt advice #number 2 the cake idea actually got a super funny reaction from my gf #i wasnt out to anyone yet but was venting feelings on a side blog #she happened to find it and came to me crying about how she was sorry for making me eat vanilla cake #😂😂😂#it was a good time

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squadrablog · 4 years

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ok I've joined the Ghiaccio hype train, could I request a Ghiaccio fic with a reader who doesn't like sudden loud noises and will definitely cry if you yell at them? they're really intimidated by Ghiaccio but they're comfortable with the rest of La Squadra, so he's struggling to be a good team member to someone who's always nervous around him. feel free to make it romantic or platonic, your writing is amazing!! 💕💕

Here you are! With the stuff I ended up focusing on I thought that shoehorning a romance in would feel weird, so I focused more on exploring the beginnings of a platonic friendship with him. Lots of awkward Ghiaccio and miscommunication but it all ends up good. :^)

Ghiaccio & Reader (platonic, gender neutral)

Ao3 Mirror Here.

Word Count: 3921

Warnings: Reader has childhood trauma w/ loud noises, not gone into in depth. Assassination job implied but doesn’t happen in text.

Under cut for length!

The last thing you saw yourself doing with your life was becoming an assassin, but here you were. You were a tough kid, scrappy and resourceful when it came down to it, but only because you had to be to get by. You always thought you’d eventually leave that old life behind. The gunshots echoing into the night from rival mafias squaring off to claim the neighborhood you lived in as their territory. The shouts from the man who took you in when you had nowhere else to go, only to berate you when you failed to pick enough pockets to meet his quotas. The way the older and meaner children would torment you, taunt and deride you, whenever you let your vulnerability show.

And you had, more or less, left those parts of it behind at least. When you joined Passione as a last ditch effort to survive you were given a sense of stability that you had never had before, and after initiation when your stand manifested as something powerful and deadly, it didn’t take too long for you to get placed into La Squadra di Esecuzione, Passione’s team of elite assassins.

As a stand user working with other stand users you rarely relied on guns to get your work done. You were no longer struggling to get by, and although your new Capo held his team to high standards he made sure you had ample training and was patient with you while you were still getting your footing. All your teammates were surprisingly supportive; even if they were wary of outsiders, when it came to their own family they looked out for each other.

It was a dangerous life, not without its own anxieties, but it was a much quieter life. It was a life in the shadows, with a roof over your head, with work that allowed you to use stealth and silence. Even if you couldn’t exactly say you were thrilled about being an assassin you were at least surrounded by people who genuinely cared about you now, watched over by a man who never raised his voice at you for things outside your control, and most comforting of all: you never needed to use a gun.

Not all loud noises set you off, just the ones that reminded you of the violent instability of your childhood and the cruelty of your guardian and peers. Your new teammates could get pretty noisy and spirited, but the boisterous and jovial nature of their laughter, even from their more intense teasing, was a comforting change of pace. You didn’t doubt your value or the fact they respected you.

Well, mostly. There was one teammate who was a bit harder for you to let your guard down around.

His name was Ghiaccio, and to say he was loud would be an understatement. When you first met him he had been a bit standoffish, but so were Risotto and Prosciutto. You knew it would take some time for everyone to accept you as a real part of the squad, and you were ready to be patient. But as you quietly observed everyone for those first few weeks, getting a feel for their individual personalities and their dynamics with each other, you found yourself very intimidated by Ghiaccio. He was able to pal around with the rest of them, even if he was gruff as a default, but when something upset him it was like a switch had been flipped.

He was critical of his squadmates’ performance out in the field, and he never hesitated to offer his critiques regardless of how little anyone wanted to hear them. He was critical of the way people talked, constantly nitpicking everyone’s pronunciations and word choice. He was critical of the way that chores around the house got done, judging everyone’s efforts by timeliness and thoroughness.

Everyone was able to brush him off most of the time without problem. When they actually valued what he had to say they never seemed to take the mean way he said it personally. They’d had plenty of time to get used to him and sift through the bullshit. They knew when something actually mattered to him and when something was just him blowing off steam for the sake of it. They knew when it was fair to ask him to shut up and when it was best to let him get it out of his system.

You steeled yourself as best as you could in those first few weeks, just telling yourself you needed some time to understand his quirks like the rest of your squad did, but your opinion changed immediately after your first mission with him.

“Is Prosciutto teaching you anything?” he barked out at you after you two finally managed to take out your hit. You flinched and looked away from his intense gaze. You were a bit anxious about being alone with him for the first time, and you wanted to give him your best effort to impress him, but being on so on edge caused you to make some big mistakes.

“Well?” he demanded when you said nothing. You had assumed it was a rhetorical question.

“Y-yes?” you stuttered out.

“Then you’re the one accountable for fucking up today. What the hell was that?” he asked, his question ending in something similar to a snarl.

Something that was different about working with Ghiaccio as opposed to working with the others was that he argued out loud to no one in particular about random topics that pissed him off. At first you thought he was expecting you to talk to him about how nonsensical some phrase was that Formaggio used before the two of you left, and you listened attentively, but he never gave you any room to respond. Eventually you realized he wasn’t really conversing, just yelling to yell. It was very distracting and it only made you fidget and lose focus.

“I… well…” you choked out. “It’s usually quieter… on my missions, since my stand is- well, since my stand is made for stealth and-”

“Me talking prevented you from doing your job correctly?” he asked, his eyes narrowing. You just shrunk even deeper within yourself. The last thing you wanted to do was insinuate your mistake had been his fault. There was no way that wouldn’t provoke his ire.

“N-no! You didn’t do anything wrong! It was me, I’m really sorry! It won’t happen again!” you squeaked out.

“Better not,” he grumbled sarcastically with a huff before turning to walk down the street towards his car. You followed, keeping a good distance behind him, not looking forward to the ride back to the base.

---

That had been weeks ago. While you had been doing a decent job at tolerating Ghiaccio before that mission, afterwards was a different story. You actively avoided him, checking if he was in rooms before entering, excusing yourself when he came into a room you were already in, shutting yourself in your room upstairs when you heard him start up on a rant somewhere on the main floor.

Eventually it was shamelessly (or perhaps shamefully) obvious to just about everyone.

“Dude, what happened on your mission with them?” Formaggio asked in a hushed tone one time after your footsteps had disappeared up the stairs. “They’re terrified of you.”

“How the fuck should I know? They haven’t said anything to me about it,” Ghiaccio shot back.

“Uh, yeah, duh. That’s what I’m saying. They won’t even sit in the same room as you,” Formaggio muttered.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” he said, scrunching up his eyebrows. “But it’s not like they talk much to begin with.”

“Are you kidding?” Illuso interjected, inserting himself into his two teammates’ conversation, much to Ghiaccio’s annoyance. “I can get them to prattle on for hours about themself. They’re a real chatterbox once you get to know them.”

“Illuso, dude, have they told you the story about their mission with Pesci down at the wharf?” Formaggio asked with a big grin.

“Fuck, I almost forgot about that,” Illuso replied with a chuckle. “What about the time where-”

“Hey! Shut up for a second,” Ghiaccio snapped. “We’re all talking about the same person, right?”

Upon being interrupted Illuso narrowed his eyes at Ghiaccio before turning to Formaggio. “It’s obviously because of Ghiaccio’s poorly controlled rage. Have you ever seen the poor thing freeze up over a gunshot before?”

“No, but I can imagine. One time I tried scaring them from behind and it took them ten whole minutes to recover,” Formaggio responded.

“I haven’t done shit to them, what possible reason do they have to be scared of me?” Ghiaccio asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well, what happened on that mission?” Formaggio asked again.

“It was pretty standard, I killed the bastard while they assisted. They did fuck up pretty bad, which is typical during training, so I pointed it out for their benefit. Then we left,” Ghiaccio recounted. “Nothing else happened.”

Formaggio raised an eyebrow. “What did you say?”

“I don’t know! I think I asked if Prosciutto was doing his job right since they didn’t seem too confident. I asked if there was anything that might have contributed to their lackluster performance, but after thinking it over they said that it was on them.”

“Sounds pretty level headed and analytical of you,” Illuso said, stroking his chin. “Are you sure that’s how you said it?”

“Probably not in so many words, I was probably more casual about it,” Ghiaccio grumbled. “Why does it matter how I said it? What’s important is what I said.”

“Ghiaccio, your brand of casual is a few decibels above what’s average,” Illuso said.

“Not to mention the casual expletives, or the casual sarcasm,” Formaggio added. “Are you sure you didn’t casually tell them to go fuck themself without realizing it?”

“No! I mean, if I was stern with them it was in the context of training!” Ghiaccio insisted.

“Are we being trained right now? Is that why you’re yelling at us?” Illuso asked with a smirk.

“This is just how I talk!” Ghiaccio said, bringing a hand up to his temple. “Ugh, I don’t fucking know! Maybe I yelled at them? I remember being very straightforward. They seemed kind of on edge, but I just assumed that’s how they always are!” He dropped his hand and turned to look at his two teammates. “Are they really not like that on missions with you?”

“Not anymore,” Illuso said with a shrug. “At first a bit, but they’re pretty reliable now.”

“You’ve got to go slow with them. They’re easily set off, but if they know they can count on you they’re able to push through it,” Formaggio said.

“My stand is invincible and I never even let the guy near them. There’s no one better suited for watching someone’s blind spot than me,” Ghiaccio said with his hand splayed out on his chest.

“I mean, like… emotionally,” Formaggio said, scratching the back of his head. “If I was to put myself in their headspace I’d say they probably think you hate them.”

“I don’t hate them,” Ghiaccio spat loudly.

“Good! Now step two is letting them know that,” Illuso said, clapping a hand on Ghiaccio’s back, causing his glasses to slide down his nose.

Ghiaccio grumbled and pushed his glasses back up. He knew that things were weird between the two of you ever since your mission, but it never even crossed his mind it was because of something he said. Is this what Prosciutto felt like training Pesci? But even Pesci had never been avoidant or scared of Prosciutto for all the tough love that he gave him. Pesci looked up to him like an older brother.

If he was really the only one in all of La Squadra that you were uncomfortable around, then he supposed it was on him now to figure out why.

---

The base was pretty quiet today, with a lot of missions landing on Risotto’s desk this week. While you were quite fond of your new teammates you liked having the common area all to yourself on a quiet evening, especially if you were curled up with a novel. When you first started living at the base it felt like a luxury, but even after you had gotten used to the quiet its novelty hadn’t worn off for you.

The sound of a key jingling at the front door had you peeking over your book. When Ghiaccio appeared framed by the living room entrance you held your breath. Hopefully he’d be going upstairs… no, it looked like he was coming into the common area. That’s okay, you could move, so you started standing up, except… he was looking right at you, heading in your direction.

“Sit down,” he said stiffly, and after a beat he added, “Please?”

“Uhh! Okay!” you said, sitting back down and bringing your book right back up to cover your face.

“Can you also, uh. Please. Put the book down?” Ghiaccio said, his voice strained to maintain a monotone and flatten out any inflection. You did as he asked, although you still couldn’t meet his eyes, and he just stared at you awkwardly.

“Uh-”

“Hello,” he said, and it left his mouth at the exact same time your muttered exclamation had. Another awkward pause.

“Hi?” you said, unsure. This wasn’t what you were expecting from your next conversation with the man, for as long as you had postponed it. You thought he’d be demanding to know why you were ignoring him, or getting on your case about being too sensitive to handle his criticism on your last mission. Maybe that was yet to come?

“You are afraid of me,” Ghiaccio stated flatly. Then perhaps he realized he wanted to ask it as a question. “Yes?”

“Oh, no, I’m…” you muttered.

“Of course you are,” he said quickly, cutting you off before you could mumble out an excuse. You got pretty embarrassed by that, but you swallowed and moved your eyes up to gauge his expression. He didn’t look angry, but he looked hyper focused to the point of distress. His lips were pressed together tightly as if he was trying to hold back from speaking again.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“For being scared of me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. He was being sarcastic again, wasn’t he?

“No, I… I mean… I’m sorry for,” you started, trying to think of something legitimate to actually be sorry about. “For fucking up on the mission.”

“Did fucking up on the mission really bother you that much?” he said. Not only were you stupid for fucking up the mission, but you were also stupid for letting it bother you for so long! What did he want you to say?

“No, I mean…”

But Ghiaccio cut you off with a long loud exhale. “Look, I’m not great at this kind of thing. I understand that I make you anxious, and I understand that for whatever reason it’s hard for you to talk to me, but I really can’t understand what people say unless they drop all the bullshit.” When you frowned and looked away he tried again. “Not bullshit, fuck, uh. No, not fuck... It’s just that. I need you to say exactly what you mean. I can’t tell what people are thinking unless they make it… easy for me.”

You looked back at him. Whatever he was here to talk about with you, he was trying very hard not to raise his voice. The way he was talking to you was too stilted to be anything but intentional. If he was doing this for your sake, then you would try to meet him halfway. You took a moment to think, to choose what you wanted to say carefully.

“I don’t do well with loud noises. I also… take things very personally. I’ve been worrying that you…” You took another second before committing. “...Hate me.”

He pressed his lips in a thin line again as some noise tried to escape his throat, perhaps an instinctive denial. “What about me makes you think that?”

“Well… you seemed pretty disappointed in me after the mission.”

“I was checking in with you. I wanted to make sure Prosciutto was properly training you.”

You raised an eyebrow. “But… but you sounded really angry and sarcastic.”

Ghiaccio closed his eyes and thought about that for a second. “I probably was angry, but not at you. You just fucked up on something so basic that I had to wonder if Prosciutto was actually teaching you anything useful.”

“That’s… not how you said it though,” you said, feeling defensive. “I… I know I did something dumb… but I’ve never messed up with my stand like that before. It was different on that mission.”

“Me talking to myself?” Ghiaccio asked. He had been fixating over what he said to you at the end of that mission for days now, trying to remember all the details. He recalled how you had started with one explanation, but you quickly retracted it.

“You were… so angry the entire mission,” you complained. “Everyone else is quiet on missions with me because my stand is better suited to it.”

“It wasn’t a stealth mission,” Ghiaccio countered. “We were using your stand for something different. I wasn’t even talking to you.”

“I know!” you groaned. “You weren’t trying to distract me, but when things get too loud I…”

“But you took it back. You said it wasn’t me,” Ghiaccio said, leaning forward. His voice had risen just a little, but when he noticed how you reacted to that he tensed up.

“I took it back because I was afraid of upsetting you!” you said, leaning back into the couch as far as you could. “Because when I brought it up… you were mean about it… so I took it back! I thought you were trying to tell me it was my fault, so I took the blame like I thought you wanted!”

“I was… I was asking for clarification! If I did something that caused you to fuck up then I want to know that I did so we can talk about it!” He was clenching his fists to keep his upward inflections from becoming full-blown yelling.

“None of that came across!” you complained. “Like… maybe you technically said those things, but the way you said made it come across completely different!”

“What about you? Now you’re telling me that you meant something completely different from the things you actually said to me!?”

“I-I… but I was obviously upset! I was obviously just trying to appease you!”

“How was it obvious? I thought you were upset because you fucked up! No one likes fucking up!”

“Yeah, no kidding!” You realized at this point that your own voice was starting to rise, which was making Ghiaccio raise his to match yours, and you took a deep breath before speaking calmly again. “I was upset because I was afraid.”

It was quiet again for a little while until Ghiaccio broke the silence.

“Being mean and angry comes really easy to me,” he said, running his fingers through his curls. “Even when I don’t realize it, I still am. Even if I think I’m being reasonable, people misunderstand. I’ve been so used to the others actually being able to take it that I forgot how bad it was.” He scratched at his head a bit. “I also have a hard time telling how loud I actually am until someone points it out.”

You sat there for a moment, soaking that in, before you gave a small amused huff with a half-smile on your face. “I’m not great with loud noises because of what they mean to me. Gunshots remind me of a time when I wasn’t safe… but I can protect myself now, and I have other people who will protect me too. But yelling reminds me of… how I was never good enough for anyone.” You tapped your fingers on the cover of the book on your lap and shrugged.

“I hear from the others that you’re really skilled and reliable on missions,” Ghiaccio said. “I didn’t see that from you when we worked together, but maybe that’s because I was the one who fucked up.”

“But you didn’t...” you started.

“I fucked up by not meeting you where you were at. You’re new. I don’t know you, I don’t know what you’re like. If we had talked beforehand, if I had worked with you, then you probably wouldn’t have made that mistake. I was taking the lead on that mission, it was my job to train you to use your stand in an unfamiliar circumstance. I use missions to get out all the shit that makes me angry, since I don’t need to stay quiet. You don’t work like that. You had no idea what I was yelling for. I never told you how I do things, I just expected you to brush it off like everyone else does.”

You blinked a few times. You had been pretty quick to blame yourself for your own shortcomings, but hearing him say that really recontextualized that entire mission experience. You might have fucked up, but it was now obvious that he did not hold it against you. “That’s surprisingly self-aware of you.”

He rolled his eyes and set his elbow on the couch’s armrest, plopping his head on his fist. “You don’t know me either. I’m more than a raving heartless bastard. Stuff like this… not understanding why other people think the way they do, or what I’m doing wrong… it really fucks me up. I don’t hate you. You’re a part of my family now and I genuinely want to help you get stronger. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

Ghiaccio was nothing like you thought. He was actually really sensitive and introspective. You could tell it was hard for him to confront you like this, almost as hard as it was for you to be confronted. You appreciated that he wanted to put in the effort to have a relationship with you.

“Thank you Ghiaccio. And I’m sorry I avoided you instead of trying to talk about it like this.” You reached over and placed your hand on his shoulder with a gentle smile. He seemed taken aback by the contact, but he relaxed after a moment.

“Are we… good?” he huffed out.

“I think so!”

He let out one long exhale that seemed to go on forever. “Thank fuck,” he muttered, before turning to look at you. “Goddamn it, sorry.”

“It’s not the swearing that bothers me,” you clarified. “It’s the intention behind it. You’re… uh… fucking good, my dude.”

He let out a snort at the awkward way you said that before bringing his hand up to cover his face, looking away in embarrassment.

“Aw, no, that was cute,” you assured him, which only made it worse.

“Well, if we’re done here then I’m heading to bed,” he said, and you glanced at the clock in the living room. It had gotten pretty late. He stood up and started walking towards the stairs.

“We have a mission together again this weekend, right?” you asked, and he looked at you over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he confirmed.

“I’m looking forward to it,” you said with as much enthusiasm as you could muster. And you meant it. “Goodnight!”

“...Night,” he said, before he disappeared around the corner.

#ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader #jojo imagines #jjba scenarios #jjba x reader #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #my writing #anon

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