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joycrispy · 8 months

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Awhile ago @ouidamforeman made this post:

This shot through my brain like a chain of firecrackers, so, without derailing the original post, I have some THOUGHTS to add about why this concept is not only hilarious (because it is), but also...

It. It kind of fucks. Severely.

And in a delightfully Pratchett-y way, I'd dare to suggest.

I'll explain:

As inferred above, both Crowley AND Aziraphale have canonical Biblical counterparts. Not by name, no, but by function.

Crowley, of course, is the serpent of Eden.

(note on the serpent of Eden: In Genesis 3:1-15, at least, the serpent is not identified as anything other than a serpent, albeit one that can talk. Later, it will be variously interpreted as a traitorous agent of Hell, as a demon, as a guise of Satan himself, etc. In Good Omens --as a slinky ginger who walks funny)

Lesser known, at least so far as I can tell, is the flaming sword. It, too, appears in Genesis 3, in the very last line:

"So he drove out the man; and placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life." --Genesis 3:24, KJV

Thanks to translation ambiguity, there is some debate concerning the nature of the flaming sword --is it a divine weapon given unto one of the Cherubim (if so, why only one)? Or is it an independent entity, which takes the form of a sword (as other angelic beings take the form of wheels and such)? For our purposes, I don't think the distinction matters. The guard at the gate of Eden, whether an angel wielding the sword or an angel who IS the sword, is Aziraphale.

(note on the flaming sword: in some traditions --Eastern Orthodox, for example-- it is held that upon Christ's death and resurrection, the flaming sword gave up it's post and vanished from Eden for good. By these sensibilities, the removal of the sword signifies the redemption and salvation of man.

...Put a pin in that. We're coming back to it.)

So, we have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword, introduced at the beginning and the end (ha) of the very same chapter of Genesis.

But here's the important bit, the bit that's not immediately obvious, the bit that nonetheless encapsulates one of the central themes, if not THE central theme, of Good Omens:

The Sword was never intended to guard Eden while Adam and Eve were still in it.

Do you understand?

The Sword's function was never to protect them. It doesn't even appear until after they've already fallen. No... it was to usher Adam and Eve from the garden, and then keep them out. It was a threat. It was a punishment.

The flaming sword was given to be used against them.

So. Again. We have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword: the inception and the consequence of original sin, personified. They are the one-two punch that launches mankind from paradise, after Hell lures it to destruction and Heaven condemns it for being destroyed. Which is to say that despite being, supposedly, hereditary enemies on two different sides of a celestial cold war, they are actually unified by one purpose, one pivotal role to play in the Divine Plan: completely fucking humanity over.

That's how it's supposed to go. It is written.

...But, in Good Omens, they're not just the Serpent and the Sword.

They're Crowley and Aziraphale.

(author begins to go insane from emotion under the cut)

In Good Omens, humanity is handed it's salvation (pin!) scarcely half an hour after losing it. Instead of looming over God's empty garden, the sword protects a very sad, very scared and very pregnant girl. And no, not because a blameless martyr suffered and died for the privilege, either.

It was just that she'd had such a bad day. And there were vicious animals out there. And Aziraphale worried she would be cold.

...I need to impress upon you how much this is NOT just a matter of being careless with company property. With this one act of kindness, Aziraphale is undermining the whole entire POINT of the expulsion from Eden. God Herself confronts him about it, and he lies. To God.

And the Serpent--

(Crowley, that is, who wonders what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway; who thinks that maybe he did a GOOD thing when he tempted Eve with the apple; who objects that God is over-reacting to a first offense; who knows what it is to fall but not what it is to be comforted after the fact...)

--just goes ahead and falls in love with him about it.

As for Crowley --I barely need to explain him, right? People have been making the 'didn't the serpent actually do us a solid?' argument for centuries. But if I'm going to quote one of them, it may as well be the one Neil Gaiman wrote ficlet about:

"If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization." --Robert G. Ingersoll

The first to ask questions.

Even beyond flattering literary interpretation, we know that Crowley is, so often, discreetly running damage control on the machinations of Heaven and Hell. When he can get away with it. Occasionally, when he can't (1827).

And Aziraphale loves him for it, too. Loves him back.

And so this romance plays out over millennia, where they fall in love with each other but also the world, because of each other and because of the world. But it begins in Eden. Where, instead of acting as the first Earthly example of Divine/Diabolical collusion and callousness--

(other examples --the flood; the bet with Satan; the back channels; the exchange of Holy Water and Hellfire; and on and on...)

--they refuse. Without even necessarily knowing they're doing it, they just refuse. Refuse to trivialize human life, and refuse to hate each other.

To write a story about the Serpent and the Sword falling in love is to write a story about transgression.

Not just in the sense that they are a demon and an angel, and it's ~forbidden. That's part of it, yeah, but the greater part of it is that they are THIS demon and angel, in particular. From The Real Bible's Book of Genesis, in the chapter where man falls.

It's the sort of thing you write and laugh. And then you look at it. And you think. And then you frown, and you sit up a little straighter. And you think.

And then you keep writing.

And what emerges hits you like a goddamn truck.

(...A lot of Pratchett reads that way. I believe Gaiman when he says Pratchett would have been happy with the romance, by the way. I really really do).

It's a story about transgression, about love as transgression. They break the rules by loving each other, by loving creation, and by rejecting the hatred and hypocrisy that would have triangulated them as a unified blow against humanity, before humanity had even really got started. And yeah, hell, it's a queer romance too, just to really drive the point home (oh, that!!! THAT!!!)

...I could spend a long time wildly gesturing at this and never be satisfied. Instead of watching me do that (I'll spare you), please look at this gif:

I love this shot so much.

Look at Eve and Crowley moving, at the same time in the same direction, towards their respective wielders of the flaming sword. Adam reaches out and takes her hand; Aziraphale reaches out and covers him with a wing.

You know what a shot like that establishes? Likeness. Commonality. Kinship.

"Our side" was never just Crowley and Aziraphale. Crowley says as much at the end of season 1 ("--all of us against all of them."). From the beginning, "our side" was Crowley, Aziraphale, and every single human being. Lately that's around 8 billion, but once upon a time it was just two other people. Another couple. The primeval mother and father.

But Adam and Eve die, eventually. Humanity grows without them. It's Crowley and Aziraphale who remain, and who protect it. Who...oversee it's upbringing.

Godfathers. Sort of.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens 2 #crowley #aziraphale #good omens meta #I have no idea if I've made a coherent point here but I'm tired of this being in my drafts; RAW FEELINGS IT IS #it's about being sent to destroy and instead staying to love and protect and nurture I'M CRAZY I'M CRAZY RAAAAAAAGGHHHH #gnu terry pratchett

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cordeliawhohung · 6 months

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@archonsabyss AHHHHH i received your ask and i saw it during work but i wanted to give a proper breakdown of it!!! i'm also doing it here that way i can like, respond to specific paragraphs easier and so it's easier to follow ;laskdjf;asldj

everyone, this is about to be an in depth break down of "As You Wish," a knight!Price x fem!princess!Reader one shot i made for a challenge, so if you haven't read it there's tons of spoilers so beware! anyone interested in a big breakdown of this story, feel free to read but it's a mess because i cannot keep a coherent thought.

anyways.... let's begin

First off, I'm so so so glad someone liked that line about the stars!!! Because like, when I wrote it i was thinking about how we humans will look at this vast expanse of stars and are like "i gotta name these bitches" or we'll force ourselves to group up stars to name them rather than just name them one by one (probably because we would quite literally run out of names....) and i'm just AHH so happy :3

As for Price calling reader princess that was lowkey fan service within itself al;skdfj Like??? Him just saying that in that fucking husky ass voice of his like??? But you are, of course, the princess so what else is he going to call you???

And YES the chin tilt i just mmmm i'm a whore for that, sorry. Slut alert, but the slut is ME.

THANK GOD i was super worried about writing Price because I've only written like half a drabble for him previously a;lskdjf

If I am being honest, I held back on the violence a LOT. Like, I wanted to go into depth about Eilra's death, about everyone being slaughtered, how Price was covered in the gore of it, how the bodies radiated heat you could see the steam from.... you get the point. HOWEVER the whole line of "look at me" and Price trying to protect the princess from seeing the gore? From seeing her friend slaughtered? 100% way better than the angst. I mean it still is angst but you get me.

AND YES "feed you by my own hand, if I must." Like him just being so violently caring? If that makes sense? You're literally the whole reason he even was traveling to Draewen, and he's not going to just let you die because you can't force down food ):

Whenever I wrote that Price smiled, just know I was imagining him smiling like this:

you know like that tired smile??? Tell the man to sleep and he's like, well I guess I don't have a choice and he's just smiling like AGHSD:KJF

Also, I'm SO GLAD THE PACING WAS OKAY. i was like who is gonna read a near 9k word fucking fic in one sitting the pacing has to be GOOD and i was so worried I was going to loose people with it getting boring but AHHH

and YES the constellations!!! I have such an in depth idea about the gods and their meanings and their interactions with this world that i just... obviously couldn't put in because i might as well write a whole ass story at that point lmfao.

also just know everything that price does that is charming is all me, bb ;) (negative rizz) ((totally didn't spend like 2 hours straight of thinking per line of dialogue....)

LMFAO i just imagine you as a genie now lmfao. but lowkey when I write i think about it like a movie. like the way the camera angle is, how the lighting is, the expressions, etc. So i try and catch those small details as best as i can ): like her noticing he's not married (no necklace) him comparing her to the goddess of beauty (not the same thing as comparing her to Aphrodite she's not gonna receive wrath or anything lmfao) and just UGH i love these idiots.

Once again, I wanted to make the action more intense here but I was like, chill, it's a one shot, it'll be fine.

AND YES MY FAVORITE PART OF THE WHOLE SERIES: PRICE RIPPING YOUR CLOTHES OFF TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.

Because this is what you do irl. You fall into a freezing stream, you need to get those clothes off FAST. Especially back in the day. If you ever get caught in a river or something IRL, wearing synthetic clothing (think, like, nylon or something idk) compared to cotton is LIFE SAVING. cotton will hold that cold water and it FUCKING HURTS. wearing something synthetic? dries in an instant (i am speaking from experience i.... don't wanna talk about it LOL)

so he rips the clothes off, tries to dry her, RISKS the fire and smoke of attracting more people just to save her life? Uses his own body heat to try and warm her? rubbing to create friction? refusing to gawk at her naked body? showing her respect the moment he's sure she won't die? I COULD GO ON FOREVER.

YES UGH AND I HAVE HEADCANNONS (or would it just be cannon at this point since... i'm the writer... hmmm) about their love and the way it's literally connected with chaos i have SO SO SO MANY IDEAS THAT BLOOMED AND ugh perhaps one day i will turn this into a full series. it's been rotting my brain all day at work ):

I am a SLUT for the trope of like, someone of higher power asks someone their subordinate to do something, and they're like "is that an order?" "it's a request" LIKE she obviously holds the power. she's a princess. he might be protecting her, but he answers to her!!! and she's being soft and is like, allowing him to make his own decision, to not force her feelings on him (but he def feels them too so). And even in the beginning, refusing to call him by his title, using his name like any other person would, trying to show equality between them and just UGH. if she thought he would do it, she'd tell him not to call her by her title too (but he could never!!!!)

AS FOR THE CRAWLING BIT: 1: yes it was a little fanservice hehe like come ON imagine him like that one fucking tiktok edit of barry sloane in 6 crawling on the floor to his wife or whatever i'm A:LKJSFDL:KFJ

but also, like, he's on his knees already, man is not standing up to walk half a foot and then lay down aa;sdkfj;alksjfd but let a girl dream.

YOU ARE LITERALLY SO ADORABLE I'M KISSING YOU ON YOUR WHOLE FACE RN

i'm just AHHHH not the most confident writer ever and I know i complain about that a lot in my authors notes and whatnot but honestly just having someone shaking me by the shoulders and telling me my work wasn't straight garbage just SLKFJSLKJ

i'm gonna make a legit prison eventually. i'm keeping you all in my little play pen and we're talking about our blorbos

and AHHH AGAIN I LOVE YOUUU thank you so so so much i hope you had a wonderful day and i hope your night is going well and KNIGHT PRICE FOREVER GAHHHHH

#core responds #core talks #core talks a lot #141 challenge #john price x reader

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lilweaselhub · 8 months

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Okay so no one asked---but time for me to randomly be feral about Spinel. I don't plan on making this SUPER coherent or anything mostly because I've been running on fumes for a MINUTE now.

But recently, I was asked what I think the difference is between good spinel content and bad spinel content and well thats a loaded question.

Before I say ANYTHING about anything for anyone who reads this, I would like to preface;

These are my personal opinions on her character and I really don't care too much if you agree or disagree. Whatever makes you happy is fine with me. You can disagree and be entitled to that opinion.

That being said; I'm just going to come right out and cut to the chase before we even get started.

I don't like how the Steven Universe movie ended. I don't think Spinel going with the Diamonds was a good idea && Spinel in SU future was a major let down for me.

There. if you don't like ^^^^ that statement right there && if you don't think you can handle someone disagreeing with how she was handled I'd stop right here.

For anyone else; Allow me to explain.

When Spinel is introduced in the movie, it is immedietly clear that she is no typical adversary of the crystal gems. Shes incredibly cunning, and actually acknowledges steven as his own person. -&& seeks vengence anyway.

Despite KNOWING steven is a stranger.

Something we don't see in any other gem that the crystal gems go up against from homeworld. I'd argue this makes Spinel one of the SMARTEST gems we see.

The other thing thats immedietly apparent is just how VIOLENT and ANGRY she is. Her entire song 'other friends' gives the audience immediate insight that she knew pink diamond and knew pink PERSONALLY. She has a very personal vendetta, and is lashing out.

now im not going to analyse every single scene in this movie. I'm far too tired for that. Besides, we know it by heart by now. Everyones done it. But all of this to SAY-; what many people have pointed out is that Pink was akin to Spinels favored person, something a lot of people who struggle with mental illness have.

ESPEICALLY those with BPD, something that has been near universally agreed on with her.

During the first half of the movie, leading up to the garden flashback. We get to see Spinel as she was made--; before she was traumatized. How she was initially. Happy, bubbly, fun loving, and sweet. In my mind, this always was reminiscent of an allegory for childhood innocence.

A type of innocence one has before the real world hits them before they experience heartbreak, trauma, or real raw grief. Spinel in her beginning was NAIVE, and had no idea that Pink Diamond did not have the same undying loyalty and love that Spinel herself was programmed with.

Spinels feelings were not mutual, but she was too innocent at the time to really SEE This. She was too naïve and optimistic. During this time she was very much mentally like a young child.

Time passing && the garden itself dying could even be an allegory for the death of ones childhood innocence and wonder.

What being abandoned by pink can really be alikened to with Spinel is the experience of TRAUMA. Something that udoubtedly TRANSFORMS a person---; Much like in the movie. (That whole anime girl transformation as out of left field as it is, kind of makes a lot of sense to be emphasized. Its getting a point across.)

Trauma PERMENANTLY changes a person. For better or worse.

In spinels case--; it could be seen as a metaphor for trauma, and the effect it has on someones mental health. The Childhood innocence dying and growing up after experience significant trauma.

Spinel post transformation && in the very beginning / climax of the movie is much less naive. Much more cunning, and carries herself much older than when she was first created. While Spinel in the beginning was reminiscent of a young 8-10 year old child, spinel now reads more as a rebellious older teen to young adult. She does not have that mentality of a child anymore. She's impulisve, shes cunning, shes sarcastic and shes mad as hell.

Spinels trauma not only mentally changed who she was as a person--it PHYSICALLY altered her. It changed her entire person. This is what trauma DOES. this is what experiencing all the grief and negative experiences of growing up DOES to you.

Abandoned, forgotten and spiteful, Spinel sets her sights on steven && co in a last ditch effort to get her version of closure---revenge on those that wronged her and threw her away like garbage.

I would easily argue that the climax of this movie is were Spinel's character SHINES the most. This in my opinion, is one place where the movie SUCCEEDS where Future FAILS.

In the climax of the movie, we really see the moments that clinch that BPD allegory. The Back and Forth between her emotional impulse to spiral and lash out, and the desire to be better. It doesn't shy away from showing the UGLY and sometimes AGGRESSIVE symptoms of mental illness. But it doesn't necessarily villainize her.

Steven himself realizes that Spinel is not thinking logically, she's lashing out and letting emotions DRIVE her impulses.

It shows her as she is now, flawed, impulsive, and hurting.

" Why? Why do I wanna hurt you SO badly??"

" When you change, you change for the better---when I change I change for the WORSE."

" At least you liked the old me--"

Spinel herself acknowledges that she's changed. That experience has Permanently changed who she is, the person she once was is gone. She is mourning not only the relationship she had but the person she once WAS.

Now;------After this point in the movie is where I start having gripes. As spinel is shown through most of the movie as such a dynamic, interesting character and actual RAW representation for people who STRUGGLE to be a good person after what they went through. Individuals with UGLY symptoms and sometimes SCARY symptoms of mental illness.

Things that are strongly stigmatized in this society we live in. It was refreshing to have a character SHOW this side of mental illness and still be treated like a person, and not a MONSTER.

&& Before I start this next section, let me preface by saying i am ALL about healing journeys. 100%. I would love for Spinel to be happy, I want her to find a place to find her own and feel safe.

That being said, I want healing journeys for a character to be realisitc. I don't want a FIXED character, I want a REAL character. A character that feels like a person. A real one. Not sunshine and rainbows and a "love fixes me" type. (Ty @veroxins for verbalizing what i never quite could with her arc.)

Unfortunately that is EXACTLY what ends up happening to Spinel though. Suddenly it feels as though they run out of an idea for how to continue her arc. && At the end of the movie they decide that the diamonds finding her amusing and bringing her back up to homeworld would be the best course of action.

&& I'd argue that at this point in the movie spinel's characterization already starts seeming odd / contradictory comparative to what we JUST saw. && this only continues with her appearance in future.

Suddenly Spinel is Happy, bubbly and kinda...naive again isn't she?

Spinel in future (and partially at the end of the movie) is kind of reverted back to her old persona. The diamonds 'love' fixes her.

" Steven: Wait a second, you used to have vengeful thoughts. Oh, yeah! But I don't get 'em anymore. Steven: How did you make them stop? I met a little someone named "Steven Universe"! And he told me ♫ IIIII- I CAN MAKE A CHANGE! ♫ "

Whats worse than that in my opinion, is that not only do they take this representation away---and make the case that love just 'fixes' a person and puts them back to how they were--but they make spinel a joke.

They didn't even have her take stevens on struggles seriously or have them relate to each other in any meaningful way.

I like many others, hated peridots treatment for this very reason.

Not to mention--- a very important point. After all this time emphasizing how absolutely UNHEALTHY and TOXIC the power dynamic was between Pink Diamond and Spinel. WHY on earth would putting her right back in that power dynamic (x3 mind you), be condusive to her healing? At all?

I'll tell you---it wouldn't be. She's put right back in the position of being ENTERTAINMENT, a TOY. && Not being even given the CHANCE to discover her own personality, who she is now, or hell--who she ever was outside of pink.

I noticed that a lot of peoples fixation and interest in spinel greatly reduced after the future airing and I really don't think thats a coincidence.

&& AGAIN i have to PREFACE. ;I want spinel to get better. I do.

I have no issues with that.

But trauma permenately changes someone. Thats just how it functions. Spinel is not going to just go back to how she was before her trauma. && I think it sends a more powerful message for her healing to have her find a place as she is now, and be loved for her flaws and all, while making a conscious effort to be better.

For it not to be just a quick fix, and shes back to how she was, but to have her come to terms with the new her, and find a way to reinvent herself, with her flaws and still be loved as she is. Even if she still slips up from time to time. Because mental illness is not a straight and narrow road. it has its ups, it has its downs. you get better, you relapse and then you pick up the pieces again and keep going.

Tdlr; All of that to say. Spinel is a character that was REALLY important to me, a character that showed ugly mental illness symptoms, and didn't glorify or villainize it. A character that wasn't nice or tied up in a bow, but deserved to be loved, and deserved to have the chance to be her own person.

Outside of the diamonds, outside of pink, outside of her TRAUMA. and she never got the chance. She deserved better.

Also---sassy, chaotic, morally grey spinel is just superior in general. She's the goat and i want her back. rn.

#ooc #me screaming about spinel #because you asked anon

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 2 years

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So jkks are saying ” all the boys have a beautiful bond” “don’t blame jk for what the shippers are saying” ”he’s not feeding anything, him and tae are just friends” and i can’t help but laugh. if they think jikook is real (i stopped thinking that awhile ago) how can they not see how inappropriate his comment was? how can they ignore that he admitted to knowing everything happening on sm and yet he continues to bring up tae and validate their relationship while he fails to acknowledge jm(in a serious matter)every single time? Idc about jikook i think jm deserves better but it pisses me off how they ignore all these things when it comes to jm. It’s like saying jk cares about showing his bond with tae more than he cares about the hate jm gets but in another way

Shippers have selective memory and thinking, that's a fact. When JK never posted for Jimin's bday after 2019, or when Instagram was suddenly "for work" but they started taking it as Real and Definitive Confirmation the one time he mentioned Jimin on instagram. Or how one verse from a sad song was about Jimin but all the other breakup songs definitely weren't about him. Or when they were crying over JK writing a love letter for Jimin's bday in 2019 meanwhile Jimin was on vlive literally choosing a question from the millions he got and choosing to say "I'm not dating anyone at the moment". I could understand why he did this but in the end, he said it.

So yeah, pretty much all of them just take whatever piece of information is convenient and what makes sense with a preconceived idea and then work their way around it, ignoring what doesn't fit the narrative.

I said back then when it happened but people thought it was significant in some way when JK answered questions about Jimin that the comments were full of "taekook day" and how he "ignored" those, and I said it didn't mean anything. And it doesn't. When he was talking about tae in the last vlive he was pausing to check the comments and we all know what they were saying and now nobody's talking about choices lmao.

The reactions and double standards to these things are more annoying than the situation itself, maybe the reactions are the only annoying thing. It would be best if everyone just accepted "okay I'm uncomfortable with this" or "what does this say about them?" and moved on.

I like jungkook, I don't hate him, I've loved him for a long time now. But I also just recently realized that I like him better when I'm not thinking of him in relation to Jimin or anyone else. If I've never thought that he was dating Jimin, this wouldn't have mattered at all. And I wouldn't be uncomfortable and sad about something that isn't supposed to be a big deal. But because I do have higher expectations/standards for him when it comes to Jimin, I tend to feel like this. And I want to say that's just me and my silly imagination thinking that they're together, I would love to say that it's just my imagination, but I know that not everything was made up.

If they're together, I can understand Jimin. I've never had a problem with understanding Jimin or understanding his intentions and his statements to me were always coherent in every sense, except for very few situations here and there but nothing heartbreaking. Apart from Jimin, overall it's not a dynamic that I can understand fully on the present day. Maybe I understood it perfectly a year or two ago, but I don't now. And like I've said the other day, I'm tired of the back and forth and trying to make sense of some aspects of it all, so there's no point in me talking about things that I have no real knowledge of.

There's no bitterness, no bad feelings at all, I'm not one to resent anything or anyone and I know I'm partially to blame for taking this whole thing so seriously and letting myself become this emotionally attached to an idea. There's a lot of sadness I won't deny that but I'll live. And a lot of #acceptance.

I just want to say that it's something I have to leave behind because it doesn't bring me joy anymore, it hasn't been a happy experience for me for like a year and I'm sure now that I'm more comfortable not talking about their relationship as anything more than bandmates and friends, like everyone else, or them individually, BTS in general, etc. For any speculation beyond that, I just feel inadequate.

It's also not about one incident in particular, I've been genuinely feeling this way for months now and I was just slowly coming to terms with that, and these past two days talking about them were not great for me, so yeah, I've made up my mind. Maybe this sounds so dramatic and theatrical but I wasn't lying when I said that they used to be a very important and serious thing? presence? for me and I don't see it that way anymore, so I'd rather be honest and take a different approach that matches my actual feelings about them (which are not bad, I want to make that clear, just not the same as before). 🙂

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aot-snk-4238 · 3 years

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SNK Meta Part 1: Historia

After listening to the latest YHBG podcast, I thought I'd add a few miscellaneous thoughts of my own regarding where the rest of the story is headed, how I feel about Historia, and Ymir's fate. I'm going to start with Historia since I've had a lot on my mind about her that I haven't figured out how to put into coherent words until now. I'm going to split this post into three parts so it doesn't turn into a novella, so expect my thoughts on Ymir's fate next, followed by how I think the rest of the story will go based on where we are right now.

To kick things off, I agree wholeheartedly with what Puppet said in the beginning of the podcast about how even if Historia is given a decent ending, the wait leading up to that has made it not worth it either way. This whole pregnancy plot has been dragged out and dangled just out of our reach for far too long and I'm sick and tired of it. It's been my least favorite plot twist in the whole series by far and I just don't understand what the point of it was. I've been wondering for a long time whether the whole idea of her getting pregnant was something that Isayama had in mind for a while and planned out in advance, or if it was more of a last minute decision because he didn't know what to do with her anymore. If it's the latter, then no wonder it's been so poorly done. But hey, now I finally understand how Annie's fans felt having to wait 8 years for her to make her return in the manga. That's another thing that was mentioned in the podcast; Because Annie's character had been sidelined for so long, the hype and the excitement was just not there when she finally woke up. I remember not feeling as excited as I thought I would, despite being happy to see her again. That doesn't mean there was no hype at all, it just means that people's reactions were watered down from being too weary of the unbelievably long wait. This is how I feel about Isayama's handling of Historia throughout this final arc. Too drawn out, too confusing and just too boring. To wrap up my point, here's a compilation of every appearance that Historia has made post time-skip:

Five. Over the course of 2 years and 4 months, we have seen Historia in the present time a total of five times. And once you've viewed them all in order, you'll notice that nearly each time she appears, it's always for just one panel. Not to mention she hasn't spoken a single word. The last one implies screaming, but not even that gets a speech bubble. We don't know what the other women in the room are saying to her and we don't know what she was thinking when she opened her eyes for a brief moment. Finally, you'll notice that in two out of these five appearances, we can't even see her face. Her reaction to Eren's announcement is the only one that remains completely obscured and at this point I'm not sure if we'll ever get to see it. Looking forward, I'm worried that the next time we see her post time-skip will be the last. She will have had her baby, we see one or two panels of her holding her/him, and that's it. Still no dialogue, still no knowledge of her current thoughts, just nothing worth making note of. It would be great to see her happy and finally proud of her life again, but it still wouldn't make up for her prolonged absence that's given people very little to talk about other than, "WHO'S THE FATHER?!" I don't even think the anime can fix this one. There's just not enough to work with. Isayama had set up plenty of opportunities to re-introduce her throughout this arc and actually give her a voice, but they were always passed up. The first one was in chapter 111:

I was led to believe that Nile would be sent out to check on Historia and that's how we'd see her again, but we all know how that turned out...

The next instance was in chapter 115, where it was thought that Hange would end up on Historia's farm after rescuing Levi and swimming away with him. Nope. Okay...

The last instance was chapter 125 where everyone had split up and was heading in different directions. We were hoping that one of those groups would run into Historia, but that didn't happen either. Nobody has ended up on her farm, which means no one except for Eren has interacted with her in a long time. *Sigh* Do you see why I'm frustrated? Now with all of that being said, this hasn't ruined Historia's character for me completely. She still had a great role to play in Clash of the Titans arc and the Uprising arc, and I'll always enjoy those parts of the story. Isayama is certainly not a terrible writer, on the contrary he's quite talented. But like every other writer out there, he has his flaws and to me personally, this is one of them. And like I mentioned earlier, I'll be okay as long as she finds happiness in the end, but I'll always wish that she could have had a more active role to play in the final stretch of the story rather than...this. Literally anything other than this would have been fine with me and I know there are plenty of others out there who feel the same. To those who do, I feel you. All we can do now is sit back and enjoy the rest of the story, and that's just what I plan to do.

#snk #snk meta #snk 134 #historia reiss #krista lenz #snk spoilers

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silverswanqueen · 3 years

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I mostly disliked RWBY since V3 because the dark turn and how they went about it I just subjectively didn't like(I was expecting it to be more akin to Harry Potter or Avatar The Last Airbender) and now its seems like its going through the same song and dance I've seen with Fate: Zero, Akame Ga Kill, Madoka Magica and Gen Urobuchi's other works. I get the points of those works, being righteous, moral, and noble in the face of tragedy, but I've just grown tired of it. But so many stans have built their ego and identity around these works that they can't allow anyone to openly and subjectively not like something anymore. And holy shit have I never felt the brunt of that than from the RWBY loyalists.

idk I'm not pretending I am speaking objectively here, but I feel like the very fact RWBY seems to becoming this kind of dark is what's drawing blind fanatics who hold it up as one of their secular religious texts and Monty as one of their patron saints, with the other works and writers being their other texts and prophets respectively

"It's awesome because its tragic and well-earned happy endings are bad"

One wonders how Inuyasha, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Harry Potter, The Star Wars Original Trilogy, or even Bram Stoker’s Dracula or Hammer's "The Devil Rides Out" would be received if they were made today and not back in the day.

Thanks for the ask and I hope my rambling isn’t confusing!

I definitely get where you’re coming from, and while I’m not familiar with Gen Urobuchi’s works I’ve seen the name enough to know there’s definitely a correlation there. I for one wasn’t necessarily upset with V3’s conclusion, but I was also much younger, didn’t have an attachment to Penny or Pyrrha like many did, and thought more would be done with the characters than what was accomplished. However, I recently did some research for my academics similar to this phenomena which I believe I can apply! However, I cannot say my explanation of it is the be all end all, because I cannot account for every RWBY fan who exhibits this behavior, so take it as you will haha.

There’s a certain pocket of literature/media that focuses on what’s referred to as the “Grimmdark,” I believe, and I’ve seen shows fall back into this phenomena of “everything must be hopeless and tragic, every victory must be pyrrhic,” and while that’s definitely a narrative you can go with, it’s spread to multiple fan bases and media over recent years. This narrative is an “infection,” since lots of social phenomena can be synonymous with an infecting trait. I compare it to Teresa Brennan’s “Transmission of Affect,” a huge study on social phenomena and how (and this is me paraphrasing) humans respond physically to social situations, meaning while the “process” is social and origin, its effects are “biological and physical,” which we can see with RWBY loyalists. They respond to the Grimmdark social infection and alter themselves (i.e. identification and physical response) to require this sort of social engagement. This altering of self is done unconsciously, and while I don’t want to get into the agency of self, the self is affected by environment, and the environment of the Grimmdark, as a result, directly influences the self. They are “infected” with the Grimmdark, and thus must engage with it. Now this isn’t bad, since the transmission of affect exists and works on all of us in many ways, but it can breed some negative results, and I think the RWBY fandom is one of them.

Now, to preface here, I’m not bashing Monty. I was still an avid fan when he passed, and I still look up to Monty to this day because of his talent and passion as an animator. But Monty… he wasn’t what I would call the best storyteller, because he was very impulsive. He would think of something, hot potato it to Miles and Kerry, and sometimes the additions would break canon a bit. Add this in with the transmission of affect which has already been in the works with the Grimmdark storytelling for some time, and it eventually attracts those “infected” by it, and as a result, breeds a toxic environment. It’s completely fine to like the Grimmdark and be, as I say, “infected” by it, but to allow this fascination with it to declare a subjective view of how storytelling should be as objective is the exact issue the fan base of RWBY has.

RWBY has fundamental writing flaws and thrown in ideas that aren’t implemented in such a way to flow coherently with the rest of the currently set narrative and world-building, and often breaks the canon that leaves the loyalists scrambling to pick up the splinters and create headcanons that allow the world-building to remain untarnished for them. This is what causes the disconnect, because those that cling to the Grimmdark as the objectively correct way to tell a story are not only trying to say it must be dark, but also the way it was written, aka the method in which we’ve gotten to this dark conclusion, is the way it must be. This is where the issue is, because they see criticism as an attack on the Grimmdark and not a critique of the writing mechanics utilized within the Grimmdark.

Subjective criticism is suddenly viewed as attacks on things that are objective. And this is one of the huge problems that many fanatics won’t understand they’re perpetuating, or simply don’t care that they are perpetuating this issue. The Grimmdark is fine, but the Grimmdark is not the be all end all of storytelling.

I could ramble more, but this is getting a bit lengthy. Essentially, yes, you’re right, they cannot allow someone to subjectively dislike it, because to them, there’s nothing subjective about it.

#rwde #rwby criticism #ask response #silver rambles #thanks for the ask!

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

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(1/?) I'm curious as to your thoughts: was there a good way to write Ironwood as CRWBY intended him, 'fundamentally good person shows signs of instability and a worrying commitment to the idea that everyone should be willing to make a sacrifice as long as he is, takes this to unacceptable extremes when a great sacrifice is called for'? I've been reading all these posts that actually make it seem like a coherent character arc, and I don't consider myself a 'bootlicker' or someone who

Always happy to explain my thoughts! Though Ironwood’s situation is incredibly complicated and I’m tired as hell right now, so apologies if this attempt at working through things is more than a little messy…

You’re right that Salem herself fundamentally changes the heart of the “well-meaning but ultimately misguided general” setup. Meaning, normally when we see a character like Ironwood, someone military-minded and driven by pragmatism, whoever it is they’re fighting against is us. It’s a war against other humans, or at least another intelligent (and sympathetic) form of life. Ironwood’s attempted archetype here relies heavily on the assumption that he’s taking things too far when there are better, more peaceful options open to him. No, general, don’t nuke all those people even though we’re at war with them because they’re still people. No, general, don’t blow up the alien ship even though you perceive them as a threat because they feel just like we do and I, the protagonist, believe that I can make peace with them. Though RWBY doesn’t have quite that same conflict—everyone agrees that Salem needs to go—it’s nevertheless worth acknowledging that his archetype is built on a history of unsympathetic characters… who are unsympathetic because they’re choosing to harm others for needless reasons. The hardened military general is an antagonist because he takes the violent route either due to greed or a lust for power. He makes sacrifices not because they are truly necessary, but because they’re easier or better for him. He believes that this violence/sacrifice is the only answer when the audience can clearly see another, better route. Think characters like Miles Quaritch from Avatar whose goal is, ultimately, to force a peaceful people out of their home/outright kill them in order to gain access to a natural resource on their world. Even if there is, broadly speaking, a “good” reason for doing this (humanity needs that resource to solve their energy crisis) there’s no confusion that his reasons are far from justified and that he’s taken things way too far. Not only because gaining resources is, you know, not a reason to kill people, but also because Jake Sully, our hero, provides him with alternative routes that he then rejects. These people are peaceful. We can negotiate with them… but Quaritch says no.

So this is, broadly speaking, the archetype Ironwood and Team RWBY are thrust into. He’s the general supposedly taking things too far and they’re the heroes standing in his way. Problem is, RWBY’s enemy isn’t a sympathetic, potential victim. The grimm are literally mindless beasts and Salem is a classic Big Bad. She might have a tragic backstory now, but that hasn’t impacted how we read her as a threat. She isn’t another group of humans we should be making peace with. She’s not an alien race who we just have to extend a hand to. Defeating her—in a literal way—is thus far the only possible route and that undermines the archetype Rooster Teeth wants to chuck Ironwood into. He can’t be the cold-hearted military man choosing violence over peace when peace is simply not an option.

So we have a setup where every single one of Ironwood’s decisions is automatically both sane and justified because there is an immortal grimm queen trying to kill them. And she cannot be reasoned with. Extra security? No duh you want that. Suspicious of others? No shit Beacon fell precisely because it was infiltrated. Making sacrifices? What else is there to do except roll over and let Salem win? The options presented to him were “make sacrifice” or “everyone absolutely dies” so no, in this case the sacrifice is not deemed “unnecessary” and therefore something that we can criticize him for. Ironwood is not fighting a powerful but also potentially sympathetic enemy, inviting a perspective that his actions may be too severe in the face of that threat. Salem isn’t a Darth Vader who is going to turn back to the light when she sees her child. She isn’t a Sauron with a convenient Achille’s heel (as of yet anyway) thereby inviting an easy solution that doesn’t risk too many lives. The grimm are not the Klingons who, if you just take the time to know their culture, you can find common ground with. They and Salem are more akin to the Borg: a relentless, unreachable, immortal force that seeks only to destroy everything. She is RWBY’s devil and thus by default any question along the lines of, “But should Ironwood really have..?” is answered with an emphatic “Yes.” Because the only other option is total annihilation for the entire world, not just the one city you’re worried about. RWBY’s villain is such a massive, unarguable threat that the setup doesn’t allow debate in regards to what’s going “too far.” By having Team RWBY and Oscar parrot those views from other stories they just come off as sounding naive, foolish, and arrogant. Salem is not an enemy that you just need to try really hard to beat in battle. She is currently immortal. She is not someone you just need to talk down. She will annihilate you and laugh while doing it. “Unnecessary sacrifice” only exists in a world where you have a chance of taking another route with success. RWBY hasn’t provided that route yet.

Thus, most military archetypes don’t have to face the level of threat that Ironwood does. In fact, their status as antagonists largely relies on the belief that the threat isn’t severe enough to warrant whatever horrific order they’re giving. Rooster Teeth has written a character based on tropes that do not work within the scenario they’ve set up… and a good chunk of the fandom aren’t critical enough viewers to see the disconnect. They just watch that collection of tropes and characteristics and fill in the blank based on what they know from the rest of popular culture. Like a really messed up Mad Lib. “Ah! I recognize this character! He’s a military man. He’s strict at times. He’s taking control of a situation and achieving that with an army. This is all a Bad Thing and I know that because I’ve seen it a thousand times before in a thousand different stories. The powerful military man is the antagonist and the heroes are the ones who fight for the marginalized!” And thus the viewer is encouraged to prioritize that assumed reading over the actual context of this particular story. Few are willing to admit that “Leaving marginalized people behind because otherwise we will all be slaughtered” is not the same situation as something like “Outright attacking a marginalized people because I want something from them. Or abandoning them because I just don’t care.” They see the basic, surface characteristics and think they know the answer to this story. Team RWBY = good and Ironwood = bad.

That’s only the tip of the problem though. It’s a big problem, but literally every step of the way Rooster Teeth would need to change things if they actually wanted to give Ironwood this arc in a way that made any sense:

They would need to change how they portray Mantle going all the way back to Volume 4 because we knew straight out of the Fall that Mantle has had a lot of problems for a very long time. That’s not all on Ironwood—it’s not possible for it all to be on Ironwood—and thus it’s neither correct nor fair to paint Mantle’s dystopian-like state as his doing, as we saw at the beginning of Volume 7.

They would need to convince us that Ironwood is actually paranoid/being overly cautious, rather than what we actually have which is… completely logical safety measures against everything that has done them in up until now. Everything Ironwood implements is in direct response to something that killed people or felled a school.

The story would need to give Ironwood better solutions that he then rejects. Obviously this is crucial for the leaving Mantle situation. As I’ve said numerous times before, you can’t paint Ironwood as a horrific person for following the only plan they had. “Stay to die” is not a plan. If they wanted him to read as in the wrong for leaving, Team RWBY needed to give him a good reason to stay, one that doesn’t automatically equal everyone dying, especially when Ironwood’s own solution is “save at least some.” However, this also needed to happen in regards to Amity. The fandom keeps pointing out that Ironwood took resources from Mantle, painting it as this cruel and awful thing… without acknowledging the necessity of that. Or that our heroes likewise demanded that he finish. Ruby is equally responsible for taking those resources. Again, if they want to paint Ironwood as unhinged and cruel in his decision, they need to provide him with alternatives: “Hey, general! Why don’t we just use these other resources instead?” “No. They must come from Mantle.” or “Hey, general! We’re just going to let you know that finishing Amity is fundamentally useless because you can’t defeat Salem with a giant army. Maybe stop taking resources now.” “No. I don’t believe you. I’m going to forge ahead with my own plans, ignoring this new information.” Neither of these things happened. We weren’t told that there was another way to build Amity and Ironwood wasn’t told that his plan was flawed… making his decision both necessary and justified, given what he knew. To my mind, Team RWBY is far more responsible for Mantle’s state since they encouraged that drain on the resources while knowing the use of those resources wouldn’t achieve what Ironwood assumed it would. Which, while failing to paint them as heroic, likewise undermines Ironwood’s supposed villainy. Why do we hate him for this again…. when Ruby is doing the exact same thing…?

They would need to have established, all the way back in Volume 2 and onward, a personality that allows for him to go to certain extremes, such as shooting Oscar. I don’t have the energy to dive into this one in great detail right now, but suffice to say the fandom has decided to horrendously miss-characterize Ironwood in an effort to justify an illogical action based on what we know about him. I’ve seen the “He once said he would shoot Qrow!” so often I’m literally astounded by the reach there, but I’m also seeing a lot of “Ironwood has never shown any sympathy towards children!” Which… okay. The absence of interaction is not proof of hatred. Meaning, having watched seven volumes in which Ironwood doesn’t interact with kids only tells us we don’t know how he feels about kids, not that he obviously despises them. A lack of scenes wherein Ironwood expresses his adoration for everyone under the age of twenty is not evidence for dislike, nor more than making a claim like, “Well Ruby obviously hates pears” would be. Why would she hate pears? Because we’ve never once, ever, heard her say that she likes them. She’s never spoken positively about them. Never stood up for them! So clearly they’re her least favorite food. Sound ridiculous? Same situation here. To say nothing of the fact that we do see Ironwood interacting positively with kids, if we define “kids” as “characters significantly younger than him.” We watched him desperately protect large groups of students at Beacon. Stand up for Weiss at the party despite how much that threatened his political situation with Jacques (as seen in Volume 7). Send Yang an expensive new arm purely because he knows what it’s like to lose a limb. The narrative has gone out of its way to demonstrate how kind and compassionate Ironwood is, all of which would need to be changed—if not outright erased—to give us someone capable of shooting Oscar like that.

The fact that the fandom chooses to ignore characterization doesn’t mean it’s not there and that characterization, at its core, fundamentally hinders the “military man goes off the deep end” archetype. Because Ironwood is nothing like his parallels in popular culture. His situation is not one that he can resolve peacefully. He was not given better options that he then rejected. He has never been a cold, manipulative, cruel person. Honestly, if they wanted to write this arc then they needed someone other than James Ironwood living in the world of RWBY. We’d need a different kind of war and a different character introduced all those volumes ago. Because as it is, the story Rooster Teeth wanted to tell simply isn’t a story fit for the Ironwood and the Remnant they created.

#rwby #rwby volume 7 #rwby volume 7 spoilers #mymetas #smallerthanzer0

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jamkookies · 4 years

Text

Okay

Description : A trip to Malta for the shooting of Bon Voyage seems peaceful enough until the moment things take an unexpected turn...

Word count : 3.3k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Please, sir! I'm begging you! Open up, please!"

It was surprising how the both of you hadn't even moved an inch despite the cries that had begun to turn downright hopeless but as Jungkook's arm shields your body defensively, you decide that you just can't take it anymore.

"Jungkook, we should take a look." you say hesitantly, turning your head in his direction.

"No way. It's a trap." he claims. "I'm sure of it."

Your eyes keep boring holes into the door as if your vision could penetrate it.

It's quiet for a while.

Maybe he left.

Maybe he-

A thunderous boom to the door.

"We have to at least take a look, dammit!" you exclaim and push his arm away, now decisively heading towards it.

"Wait!" Jungkook yells after you but instead of stopping you, he joins your side. Before you can make any further attempts, he mushes his face onto the platform and looks into the tiny peephole. Curiosity can hardly keep you still.

At last, Jungkook retreats and motions for you to take a look as well but you don't know whether to expect a garnison of soldiers or a horde of wild bisons behind the door because the expression on his face is unreadable.

The cold surface of the platform touching your forehead only makes you grow even more uncomfortable. Then, your eyes are able to discern an obscure figure behind the magnifying glass. "You've got to be kidding me, " you whisper as your eyes naturally widen.

This could not be.

Him, out of all people....

Both you and Jungkook exchange a look of silent agreement and he pushes the open button with no words needed. The door swings open to reveal a slightly dishevelled-looking man with multiple cuts and bruises marking his face. Those eyes you'd seen gleaming with vigilance are now tired, drowsy yet still scarred with horrors you could only imagine. You'd never forget those eyes because they had been the ones that had given you a chance to escape, a chance to save yourselves.

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook wonders, not bluntly but rather in a puzzled demeanor.

"Let me in, please. I'll explain everything, " the old bodyguard says and throws a look behind his back and down the stairs.

You and Jungkook exchange another look and then the latter opens the door wider, giving him space to enter. The bodyguard's face almost melts in relief upon the gesture. He crosses the doorstep in two huge strides, putting the farthest distance from it.

From the moment the lock clicks back in place, a deafening silence hangs into the air, adding even more to the suspense.

You decide to break the ice first. "What do you mean they're gonna kill your family?"

The bodyguard takes notice of where your eyes are fixed and he unconsciously touches a bruise on his chin. "Actually, I lied about that. I had to convince you to open the door."

Your anger flares like wild fire but before the flames can grow higher he quickly compensates for his mistake. "I'm really sorry. I had to.They...they did some things to me...I'll explain everything but I don't have much time."

"Why?" you demand. "Are they following yo-"

"What are you doing here in the first place?" Jungkook interrupts.

The man appears to be going through an internal conflict as his eyes shut tight, hands clench and unclench and the line of his eyebrows angles into a wide V. His distressed condition explained so much and yet so little. His eyes that up till now had been staring at the ground, lift to level up with yours and then flick to Jungkook's. "I went through hell itself to get here unnoticed. I'll have to go soon. But before I do, there's something you should know."

* * *

As much as Jungkook refused to drop the disgruntled attitude, he still made the man sit on the couch and then proceeded to offer him a much needed glass of water. The man drank and drank and drank like he'd forgotten its taste and freshness and after his thirst was sedated, he started chirping like a bird.

"First of all, I want to apologize about trying to take you by force back in Malta, even though in reality it was not my choice."

"We'd figured that out, " you confirm. "But why did you help us escape?"

You'd been racking your brains out for a long time now, trying to come up with a logical explanation but no answer fit in the frame. You just couldn't understand why he would put himself in danger so you could run away.

It didn't make any sense.

"I couldn't just let them take you like prisoners, " he says. "I had to at least give you a chance because I myself wasn't given one."

Jungkook's brows wrinkle in confusion. "What do you mean?"

A look of something like shame casts upon the man's face and he stares at his clasped hands. "When I first got this job, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. Being a bodyguard, I had taken everything into account, including the fact that I would probably have to give up my life at some point but I never thought I'd be involved in criminal affairs."

Criminal affairs? What was he talking about?

"I thought it was normal at first. I thought this was how things normally went but when you decided to go to that trip in Malta I realized that I couldn't get out of this sucking hole no matter how much I tried. And the worst thing about it is that you've had to suffer along all this time without even knowing it."

Jungkook raises a hand to stop him. "Whoa whoa whoa, hold on there a second. Are you talking about Sejin making Y/N leave? And the the thing at the plane? I know he went a little too far but-"

"You think that's a coincidence?" the man shoots back. "He set everything up. From the tickets to the hotel to everything. Every single piece of it was planned out."

Your teeth grind against each other with a mixed state of anger and shock putting them into action. When you throw a glance at Jungkook's traumatised form, tears start to form at the corners of your eyes. The man's statement seemed to had jarred him to the bone and rendered him speechless, incapable of forming a coherent thought.

"I apologize for that, " the man continues. "I didn't want to say it straight away because I knew it would come as a shock to you but Mr.Sejin is not who you think he is. I've had to live with this knowledge for years now."

For a moment, Jungkook's eyes clear up and he blinks a number of times till his attention is completely aimed at the man's face. "Is this a joke or something? Did he send you here to play with us?"

The man's expression remains stoic, forever expressionless but even through his mask you could make out the scars of horrendous truths.

He wasn't lying.

You both knew that but you just couldn't accept it, even though deep down you had always sensed that the origin of your ordeals had been somehow designated.

The said bodyguard points a finger at his face. "You see these bruises, sir? They gave them to me as a punishment for not being able to bring you back. Beat me up till I fainted. When I woke up they made it clear that this time the job had to be done properly. That's why I'm here. To bring you back. But I won't be doing that. I'm here to make sure that you know who you're dealing with. I don't have the authority to talk with his superiors. Trust me, I've even tried to but he's always one step ahead of me." He smiles sadly. "I've gotten countless warnings because of that."

Jungkook puts his head in his hands and agressively ruffles his hair. "How long has this been going?"

The man doesn't hesitate. "6 years. Since the moment Ms.Y/N set foot on that company. He was obsessed with the idea of a boy-group only and didn't want any other intruders. I can witness the number of times he complained to his superiors about not letting her join. He kept pestering them, kept telling them all sorts of things but PD-nim was the one who insisted on taking her. After that he was absolutely furious. You should've seen the way he flung things around in his office. It made me scared for a moment."

He releases a long-kept sigh and shakes his head dreadfully.

"This went on for as much as I can remember. He never changed, always kept making attempts into kicking her out and covered it with a fake smile. But this time he had it all planned out to the smallest detail and couldn't afford to just brush it off as usual. That's probably his biggest mistake so far. He just couldn't stand hiding in a bush anymore so he went 'go hard or go home' I guess."

All this new information was making your head spin. Your mind wasn't helping either, continuously attaching images to the words, helping build up the portrayal of the man who had detested you for so many years, piece by piece. To say that you'd been dismayed was an understatement. You just couldn't believe your ears, couldn't wrap your head around the idea.

"What exactly had he planned?" asks Jungkook with a tint of hesitation in his voice. Understandable enough, taking into consideration the fact that he was fed up with the truths he'd heard. The bodyguard takes a sip from his glass and gulps audibly. He keeps throwing nervous looks at the door, as if waiting for someone to burst in.

"If you can remember....the accident with the saesang girl...."

Not that

Anything but that

"It was not an accident, " he confirms. "Your manager planned it."

No no no no no no-

"He hired that girl knowing she was a saesang and told her what she had to do. He promised her Jungkook would be hers if she managed to get the job done. That night, when you sneaked out into the forest, it's like you offered yourselves to her in a silver platter. And that's how it went. She took care of everything; the car, the tools, even her assistant."

He shakes his head and you see a melancholic smile cast upon his lips as he looks directly at you. "Stupid girl. She hated you so much to the point where she even ignored Sejin's orders for a moment. He'd never intended to kill you. Obviously, he wasn't that stupid. But she didn't care at all. Thought about getting rid if you since she had the chance and went all-psycho. Unfortunately for her, you managed to escape and that's when Mr.Sejin got angry. Really, really angry. His face got all red and puffy and when Namjoon-ssi tried to talk to him, worried about you gone missing, he yelled in his face."

Joon.

You can almost feel the nostalgic taste of the word in your tongue. It was like smelling that familiar aroma of fresh flowers that grew in your back yard and being swept into a wave of old memories. Sick of you, to not think enough about him all this time, when all he'd ever did was worry about you.

You missed them. All of them. So much to the point where it hurt.

Were they okay?

Now that you were certain about your manager's intentions, you couldn't help feeling concerned about the rest of the boys.

Unaware of your thoughts, the man continues with his story. "And things got even worse when she shot you and you jumped into the stream. I guess she panicked. Her voice was literally shaking from the other side of the phone during the call with manager-nim. I don't know what she said exactly but it still didn't make him give up. After all, he had to prepare for the grand finale."

Jungkook's sharp intake of breath switches your attention to him. You examine his face carefully, looking for any signs of panic but nothing makes it to the surface.

At least not yet.

"-called the ambulance to make sure you wouldn't die."

The momentary distraction had made you zone out and you're only able to catch the last part of the phrase.

"Then what?" Jungkook asks softly.

It's like the man's physiognomy is put into action; eyelids blinking furiously, lips opening and closing, hands fumbling with each-other. He seems nervous to keep talking and that only puts Jungkook on edge even more.

"Then what? " the latter insists. Bolder this time.

The man chokes the words out. "Th-then you wrestled with that girl's assistant. And-"

"And I killed him." Jungkook finishes for him. You notice the way his eyes turn glassy and distant, as if they'd travelled back in time, recalling the events.

"No, sir. He's alive."

Both yours and Jungkook's head snap in his direction with lightning speed.

Had you just imagined him saying that?

"What?" you voice.

"He didn't kill him, " the man confirms and this time you can clearly see his lips matching the words. "It was all a trick."

Clash

"No!"

Tiny little glass shards scatter across the floor, but you don't even have time to react as another loud noise joins it.

"No!" Jungkook yells again after taking out the anger on the second vase. " I don't believe you! You're lying!" He's fully risen to his feet, his chest puffed from breathing too hard. You've never seen him like this, so angry and panicked and scared.

"He's alive, sir. I'm not lying. They enacted the death-"

"Shut up!" Jungkook screams.

"-to make Y/N-ssi feel guilty and leave. Please, sir. You have to listen to me. You did not kill anyone."

A storm of emotions drowns you whole and it's impossible to pinpoint a particular feeling in the midst of all the chaos. Pain, sadness, relief, anger. They all come as a flooding mess, an absolute wreck.

But none of that matters now.

Not as you notice Jungkook from the corner of your eye, slowly sink to the floor and curl into a ball. It's just like that night at the hotel. He rocks back and forth with no awareness of his surroundings, completely lost in his despair.

The storyteller gives him a perplexed look. He must be wondering why Jungkook was reacting this way, why he didn't sigh in relief upon the news of his innocence.

That's because the man didn't know what the idea of killing someone had done to him and how hard it was to just rip that thought out of his mind. He'd convinced himself over and over that he was guilty, that he was a murderer. You'd witnessed it yourself during all those restless nights filled with nightmares driven by his own conscience. You'd both tried to speak as little as you could about it by trying to avoid that fact but now that he's given up and let himself fall apart, you're able to see how it had ruined him beyond repair.

You glare at the bodyguard to stop him from going further and rush to Jungkook's side on the floor.

And your heart shatters into a million pieces.

He's sobbing like a little child.

A grown-up man turned into a little kid just like that, with his arms wrapped around his knees, head buried low within.

You carefully approach him and crouch on the floor, putting a hesitant hand on his shoulder. "Kook..."

He doesn't even acknowledge your presence and his sobs only seem to increase but that doesn't discourage you from throwing your arms around him in a wide hug.

"It's okay, Kook. You're okay."

Suddenly, his hands wrap around your waist and he hugs you so tightly, you almost fall back. You thread your fingers through his dark silky hair and pat his head.

Another choked sob escapes his throat.

Oh how you wished you were the one suffering, not him. If only you could take all his pain from him, you'd gladly do it. You'd do anything for him.

His fists scrunch the fabric on the back of your shirt as hit tears spill on your collarbones.

"You're okay, you're okay, shhhhhhh." you whisper in his ear.

All is forgotten by now. The only thing you can focus on is to let him know that you were here, that you understood, and that it was okay to feel like this.

It was okay not to be okay.

* * *

You'd lost all sense of time with Jungkook in your arms that you'd failed to even throw a look at the man in the corner, silently waiting for the situation to cool down.

"I'm sorry." you hear Jungkook's worn voice at the side of your neck.

"Don't be." you answer. "It's not your fault."

He finally unties his hands from your waist and takes a deep breath. A dark veil still hangs in his eyes but he tries to cover it up with a weak smile. However, the smile turns a tad bit more genuine when you cup his cheek with one hand and gently caress it.

"I'll get you some water," you say and make to get up but he grips your hand and looks up at you with pleading eyes.

"Don't go."

If you could choose to have an image branded at the back of your mind, this particular one would be it. Those big round eyes and the messy curls that fell over them carelessly, that scar on his cheekbone, the one you'd always loved, and the pouty lips under the frame of which a tiny mole showed.

You feel like crying and laughing at the same time.

Yet you still understand.

He needed the physical support as much as the he needed the emotional one in order to have something to hang onto. A safe harbor to keep him from straying off into the dark corners of his traumas.

"Okay." You sit back down and Jungkook clings onto your arm almost immediately.

"Sir, " the man finally decides to speak. "I'm really sorry about everything."

Jungkook nods in affirmation.

You're just about to add something when the man's inner pocket of his coat starts to vibrate.

He gulps.

Looks at the door.

With shaking hands, he reaches inside his coat and retrieves his phone.

"It's him." he says upon taking a look at the screen.

Your senses tingle with a mind of their own. What you'd been talking about all this time takes the form of a man. The source of all your fears and sufferings.

The floor suddenly grows uncomfortable.

Bzzzzzzzz

It's like the vibrations are digging into your brain, each buzz more unbearable than the other.

The man can't seem to take it anymore. He taps on the phone and pushes it to his ear.

A gruff voice joins the line.

You're not able to catch any of the words but the man's face says it all.

Something happened.

"Don't hurt them, " he croaks.

More yelling on the other side of the phone call.

Then, silence.

At this point you don't know what to expect. You tightly squeeze Jungkook's leg in reassurance.

The man's begging eyes turn to plead with yours, desperate, hopeless. "I'm sorry, " he says and runs off to the door.

But instead of leaving, he pushes the open button.

And waits.

Your heart leaps in your throat when a dozen other bodyguards rush inside.

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moderngirlmp3 · 3 years

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i- oh my gOD bestie, words cannot encompass how much i love your words (yes, this is. definitely coherent /s)

"like, you give me your name and i’ll never forget it." HHH NFJXMC THE NO STALGIA AND VIBES /pos i love that sentence so much. that,, sums up the perfection and sadness and wonder of the last days of elementary school so well!!

nostalgia sure is something. like,, i think about these memories and times, and i miss that. everything was so simple then. but then! i think about all the new friends i've made, and how different i am. i mean,, here i am. sitting at my computer and typing this out. i'm talking to someone, layers and layers away from being face to face, and yet it feels so- i don't even know. i just know that i will remember these nights and long paragraphs typed out, for both the internet and only one other person to see. and on one hand, it's a little odd to think that people can see and interact with my thoughts, all typed out in one neat little tumblr ask. on the other hand, this is so cool. it's like simon vs the homo sapiens agenda, but make it even mORE QUEER (it is pride month after alll fsjdlkfj) and more,, 2021. also platonic /gen /lh

books that shaped me: percy jackson. i was just so in love with the idea of belonging in a certain kind of way. it also took up a lot of my childhood, and honestly, i do think about all of the books and other series' (series? series's??) fairly often. i would say harry potter, because it did impact the way that i spent a lot of my time, but also. jkr sucks. rick riordan is not great either, but the thought of supporting jkr is so wrong at this point. this one is random, and i honestly did not realize how much it shaped who i am, but the eighth day. the idea of having another day, just to myself, was something that i thought about so much. and now, time travel is my go-to for anything. i wanted to freeze time, and be able to control time, so badly. and to a certain extent, i still do. but it does not lurk in the front of my mind nearly as much as it used to fjskldjf

would you say you took on any personalities from fictional characters, or even irl people? which characters, and which traits? and how long did it take you to realize that those were going to be a part of you/were not a part of your identity that you kept? - 🌵

bestie i am SO sorry for the late response holy shit. i have been so so so tired all day but i'm gonna answer this before i go to sleep.

gosh literally. the way i don't know you, i literally don't know your name or your blog or your face or anything but i know what you've told me, and that's enough for us to make a connection, and to have so many conversations and words and questions shared. adsjkfasjdfsldfj yes platonic svthsa <333

bestie minor confession i didn't read percy jackson until like a couple years ago. rip. yeah okay... harry potter is a thing. cause like. it impacted me massively growing up. like, i read it for the first time in first grade. first. grade. and it just. had a huge effect, but now i feel so fucking guilty about that. like, how could i let it shape me and even help me grow in some ways when it has such harmful associations, yknow? whatever.

oooh time travel? that's so interesting actually. it's such a terrifying concept, something that can so easily spin out of control, but it would be so helpful, even for the most mundane things lmao.

hmm okay i think i take on personality traits from everyone i meet. if i see something in someone else, i try to soak it up and be like that too. some of it is probably rooted in some insecurity or something but hey! you're not my therapist and we don't need to get into that. anyway, fictional characters. god, i absolutely loved hermione growing up. but i think my favorite character was luna for the majority of my childhood? like, maybe it was just the "weird kid" in her that i connected to, or something, or maybe it was me not wanting to be like "other girls" when they dressed up like hermione and i staunchly refused to. i don't know. honestly, it's hard to pinpoint what specific traits i picked up but i think from hermione i tried to pick up the idea that sometimes, even if you respect authority, they're wrong and you have to go against them, and it's okay to do that. and also just like, it's okay to not always put school first even if that's what you're used to. i dunno. bleh. okay uh. my brain is not working. OH. also!!! mysterious benedict society shaped my brain MASSIVELY. i loved that series. my favorites were reynie and constance, reynie just cause he was always so... reasonable, and so charming and friendly and so himself and so likeable and i wanted to be like that... and then constance because she was just so obstinate and so powerful despite her age and it was just. real fun to read her scenes. i don't know lmao.

i'm getting my second vaccine tomorrow so i might seriously be out of it for the next couple of days, so if you wouldn't mind sending questions that are kinda lowkey? or just like, easy to answer, yknow? no psychoanalysis or real thoughts necessary sdlfjsldfjslf

your questions (answer whichever ones you want): in what weather, if any, would you enjoy wind? also, have books or tv shows/movies shaped you more, and which books/tv shows/movies or characters or plots or whatever? is there any sort of theme that you notice when you're looking back on the plots of things you used to enjoy, or characters you used to love?

#plu answers #🌵anon #anon

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