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jgmartin · 10 months

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THE TALL THINGS ARE WATCHING

We can’t leave the house.

They’ve boarded up our doors and windows, started shooting people trying to break free. There are things in the streets. Tall things. I see their shadows sometimes as they run past the wooden boards. I hear the rumble of their feet.

I don’t know what they are. None of us do.

They cut our access to television and the internet when the lockdown began. They even took out the cell tower. Anne said they didn’t want us communicating with the outside world, telling them about what’s going on out here. I think she’s right.

It’s been two weeks since the men in suits came by. They said they worked for government intelligence and that they were looking for a terrorist. They didn’t strike me as government types, personally. They looked distracted. Spaced out. More like Scientologists than CIA agents, but then I’ve never met a Scientologist or a CIA agent, so who was I to tell the difference?

Either way, they said it would be over soon, and they sounded official. More importantly, they had guns. “We’ll need to search every household,” they explained. “We can’t have anybody leaving before we’ve cleared their property, so we’ll have to board you in.”

It made sense, I guess. In a twisted dystopian nightmare sort of way. It made sense all the way up until the end of the fourth night, when the Tall Things started roaming the streets. They were dressed in long raincoats. Hooded. The way they moved gave me the chills, all jerky and snapping, so I stayed away from the windows.

Anne didn’t mind though. She was fascinated by them. Her and our gun-nut neighbor, Old Ty, exchanged theories written on pieces of cardboard, holding them up to the glass of our windows. GOVERNMENT EXPERIMENT, she wrote on hers. ALIEN INVASION, he wrote on his.

At first, it seemed to just be a bit of innocent, morbid fun. Finding some humor in a bizarre situation. Then Anne watched one of the Tall Things kill somebody, and everything changed.

It was an elderly man in our cul-de-sac, Mister Douglas. Anne watched him open his door, hammer down the boards as one of the Tall Things walked by. He shouted at it. Told it to get over here so he could see just what kind of unholy bullshit his tax dollars were being used to fund.

Next thing you know, there’s sirens in the streets. Soldiers rushing his home. There’s a megaphone shouting at him to get back inside. All of it is useless. All of it happens far too late, because the moment Douglas starts yelling at the Tall Thing, it starts to twitch and jerk like it can’t control its own behavior. Like a predator hungry for a meal.

It snaps its head toward Douglas, then tears across his lawn and snaps him up in its long, spider-like hands. It lifts him off the ground. Then, he screams. He screams and he screams until the Tall Thing lowers the hood of its rain jacket, and then Douglas goes pale as a ghost. Silent.

According to Anne, that’s when the skin of his face started to bubble and pop. That’s when he started hissing out steam, smoking as his flesh sizzled beneath his clothes, as if he were boiling alive from the inside out. Next thing you know, he’s dripping onto the pavement. Dripping and dripping until there’s nothing left of him but a puddle of flesh and clothes.

Nobody tries to step in. Not any of the soldiers, not Anne, and not even Old Ty and all his guns. Everybody watches in stunned silence as the Tall Thing finishes its execution and saunters away.

The soldiers roam with them. The soldiers and the people in long white clothes. Anne says they’re lab coats, and the people are researchers studying the Tall Things as experiments, but I think they look more like robes– like clergymen. All of them wear helmets with tinted visors. It’s as though they don’t want to get a good look at the things.

After Mr. Douglas, more people on the block decided to make a break for it. Maybe they realized this was worse than they thought. Maybe they started wondering what the point of keeping us locked away like this was– were we food for these creatures? Were they trying to turn us into them?

None of us knew. All we could say for certain is that the killing didn’t stop with Mr. Douglas. I woke up one morning to see several of my neighbors shot dead in their yards, their lifeless eyes gazing back at me from the grass. Nobody came to pick them up. They were left there to rot, picked apart by birds and stray dogs.

Soon, gunshots were ringing out at all hours of the day. People wanted out, but the soldiers wouldn’t let them leave, and so the bodies began to pile up. Eventually I think Anne and I were the only two left alive in our cul-de-sac. Even Old Ty had seemed to vanish. Probably shot dead in his backyard.

I’d rarely known death in my life, and now the sheer volume of it was numbing me. I couldn’t process it. I didn’t know how. But then, almost out of the blue the government had a change of heart. Or maybe they just shifted tactics. Suddenly they began letting people leave.

I saw it first with a house at the very end of the road. I watched the woman who lived there break out with a baby tucked in her arm and a grade-schooler holding her hand. The three of them darted across their lawn, jumped over their father’s corpse and piled into their minivan on the street.

The entire time, a soldier and white-coat stood only meters away, quietly observing. It didn’t take long for the rumbling to begin– that telltale sound of approaching death, of one of the Tall Things coming to claim its prize. The van started up, backfiring a plume of exhaust into the air. I listened as the woman shrieked for joy, but I knew the joy would be short lived.

See, from my vantage point at the end of the lane, I saw something that she never could. The boot locked around her rear tire. The van rode forward as she pressed the gas, and then clunked to a stop. My heart broke. The look on her face, the desperation wasn’t for her– it was for her children in the back.

The rumble reached a crescendo, and in the blink of an eye a Tall Thing crashed into the van and knocked it over like a diecast toy. I couldn’t make out much beyond that. Nothing but the sound of the monster tearing into the roof of the van and pulling the crying children out one by one while their mother begged for mercy.

If I were a better, stupider man I may have kicked down my door and tried to save them, but I wasn’t. I was a coward. Instead, I fell to my living room carpet and cried. I laid there and listened as their flesh popped and sizzled, as their skin fell to the pavement in long, heavy drips.

It’s a sound I’ll never forget.

The next day, things got worse. The soldiers no longer cared about enforcing the lockdown or even keeping people safely indoors. Now they were breaking them out. Like hungry wolves, they tore down boarded-up doors and kicked in living room windows, dragging families out onto their lawns for slaughter. If the screams were horrible before, now they were unbearable. You couldn’t ignore them. Anne and I cranked our sound system to the max, but it only served as background static. The dying cut through everything.

That night we barely slept. Anne tossed and turned beside me, while I stared blankly at the ceiling fan above. There was an understanding between us. We had been abandoned. There was nobody coming to help us, nobody coming to arrest these monsters and save the day. We were alone.

How long until her and I were dragged out of our home? How long until we became the next experiment chained to our fence, waiting to be attacked by one of those creatures? Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Neither of us knew, and somehow that made it all the worse.

I woke up to sunlight peeking through our boarded-up bedroom window. Anne was missing. I looked all over the house for her before I found her note on the kitchen counter, scribbled quickly.

I know you’re afraid, the note read, but I have to leave. You might think we’ll make it through this, that once they’ve had their fill of guinea pigs they’ll let the rest of us go free, but I promise you they’ll come for us soon. This might be my last chance. Since you won’t come with me, I’m going alone. I wish I could have said a proper goodbye, but I know you’d try to stop me.

Love always,

- Anniebear

She left through the basement hatch. I know this because I spotted her corpse some five feet away through our kitchen window. She gazed back at me, a look of shock painted across her pale face, with a small red dot where the bullet pierced her skull. I couldn’t even muster the courage to step out and bury her. Instead the racoons and dogs took care of her, one piece at a time.

She was right, though. Eventually they did come for me.

It was over a week later. By then I didn’t have the will to resist. I waited patiently at the kitchen table, drunk with a glass of whiskey as soldiers and white-coats dragged me from the house. When I’d seen it happen to other people, it seemed to occur so quickly. Now, it happened in slow motion.

I heard every word from the soldier's mouth. Every command. First, he patted me down and ensured I was disarmed, then he told me this was all routine and nothing to worry about. Together they took me out into my yard. The white-coat asked me if I had lived a good life, if I had been a man of faith. I didn’t know what to say. Maybe I was simply too drunk, or maybe I truly didn’t care anymore.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” the white-coat assured me. “You’ll be at peace once it’s over, brother.”

In the distance came the growing rumble of the monster’s feet. Of the Tall Thing coming to claim its bounty.

“How many more after this?” the soldier asked the white-coat, his hand painfully gripping my shoulder.

“Sixteen.”

“Then us, sister?”

“Then us.”

The rumbling deepened. The Tall Thing was getting closer, and soon my heart was beating in sync with its stampeding footfalls. Memories flashed in my mind. Memories of Anne, of my dead neighbors, of the mother who lived at the end of the road and her children, now puddles of flesh on the pavement. My hands became fists. Indignation and fury grew inside of me, stoked by whisky fumes.

“Why do this?” I growled. “Why not just put a bullet in my head?”

“Because we love you, brother,” said the white-coat. “You waited patiently. You had faith, and for that you will be rewarded with salvation. You will be raptured.”

The Tall Thing rounded the corner, its legs slapping against the ground in great strides. Its frame eclipsed the moon, casting a shadow across me and stealing the breath from my lungs. It slowed down as it reached my lawn, sauntering this way and that.

“What are they?” I whispered.

“The ones that made us,” the white-coat replied. “Those that gave us life.”

I shrank away as the Tall Thing neared, but the soldier shoved me forward. “Be strong, brother. Show it your conviction. We were brought to this planet long ago, but now our time is served and we’re finally going home. Don’t you want to go home?”

The Tall Thing reached up to its hood. As it did, the soldier’s grip loosened and both he and the white-coat stepped to the side, away from the creature’s view. I would not scream, I told myself. No matter what, I wouldn’t give these monsters the satisfaction of my terror.

It pulled back on its hood, and something grotesque looked down on me. It was as if a hundred different faces had been stitched together, fused into an abomination that seemed to smile from fifteen mouths. “We come in peace,” it said.

My teeth bit into my cheeks, clenching them closed. A whimper escaped me, a whimper and a groan as my stomach filled with a soup of boiling horror. I would not scream. No matter the pain-- I would not scream.

Its long, spindly hands gripped my face. It cocked its head to the side, a hundred different eyes blinking back at me. Then it tugged at the bottom of my mouth.

But I wasn’t going to let it have its way. I clenched my jaw, holding it closed. The creature blinked at me. Then it repositioned its grip.

Crack.

It snapped my jaw like cardboard. I roared in agony, my lower mouth hanging limply from my face. Tears fell from my eyes in a torrent.

“Shh,” it whispered, slipping a finger down my throat. I choked and gagged. It fished its finger around as a hundred different eyes rolled back, and fifteen mouths began muttering an alien language.

I struggled against it, pulling at its arm but it was useless. The monster was too strong. Then a gunshot rang out.

And another. The Tall Thing wheeled around, dropping me onto my lawn as the soldier began shouting into his radio. The next second, a bullet found the soldier in the head. The white-coat shrieked, fleeing around my fence as a round caught her in the shoulder. The Tall Thing shot up to its full height, standing level with the street lamps and then sprinted toward the shooter.

Toward Old Ty.

He’d set up a killzone on his roof, surrounded by rifles and ammo. He’d waited for a moonless night to do his business, and now he was raining lead onto the creature like a blizzard of death. “What are you waiting for?” he bellowed. “Get moving, dipshit!”

I did. I stole away, hiding in shrubs and behind sheds, watching as Tall Things came roaring down streets, jumping over houses and knocking over cars as they tried to reach Old Ty. He only lasted a few minutes. That’s when the shooting stopped, but it was enough time for me to get away.

Maybe enough time for others, too.

It took me three hours to hike through Debby Forest and make it to the next town, and once I did I breathed a sigh of relief. There weren’t any soldiers. No white-coats. Most importantly, there weren’t any Tall Things melting people in their clothes. Just quiet stillness, the thing early mornings were meant for.

I made my way to the sheriff’s department to blow the whistle on what was going on. To explain that people were being shot, that Tall Things were melting people on the street and that we needed to get our ass in gear and call in the National Guard– no, scratch that. We needed to call in fucking NATO.

But as I got to the door of the precinct I stopped. Something gleamed in the corner of my eye, catching my attention. It was there, at the edge of the curb. A puddle.

Strange thing was, it hadn’t rained in weeks.

#creepypasta #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writerslife #writers #writing #creative writing #writing community #original writing #horror #writblr #writer things #short fiction #short story #sci fi horror #jgmartin #the tall things

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jmdbjk · 1 year

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2023 predictions (humor me)

So now I’m gonna make my predictions for 2023 the best way I know how. Armed with bare bones basic facts fueled with rumors and gossip and hearsay and sprinkled with a few social media posts! Yeah! All you overthinkers gather ‘round!

I know perfectly well trying to predict the future is futile. But these are all the different scenarios rolling around in my head. Their solo music releases and their military enlistments are the two big things happening in 2023 and hold the most meaning to us.

So remember I’m just wingin’ it, these are just my thoughts based on nothing except my overactive thinking and my need to lighten up the mood because gawwwd... 2025 is so farrrrr away... ...

The solo albums:

Y’all, all they’re gonna do is toss up some pieces of paper with their names written on them and they’ll get someone to pick them up one by one and read the names... that’s the order. Yep. Random. They don’t know. We don’t know.

Ok, changed my mind because I was just kidding... this will be the order of solo releases... maybe:

1. Yoongi

...because he’s basically started up a Youtube channel (even though its still on Bangtan TV) where he drinks alcohol and chit chats with different people. And he’s showing us he’s got a Yoobooty and smooth moves now. The only thing that makes me second guess myself is we haven’t had any teasers of actual solo musical work happening except maybe one or two pics on Insta of his studio. But we know he’s the Magic Man when it comes to working on music. Drops whole albums like “oh, I did this... here it is.” Maybe the album is ready, its just waiting for the random pieces of paper toss up.

Actually, the real toss up is whether it will be Yoongi first or....

2. Jimin

...because the man has been clocking into work every day at 9:00 a.m. like he’s on a mission to be employee of the year or something. He sort of freaks me out when he goes to bed by 10:00 p.m. or is up and moving before 9:00 a.m. What happened to my sexy little vampire who sleeps all day? Everyone... EVERYONE... wants to show off they’re working with him and they keep saying Jimin is amazing, the song is amazing, etc. That’s mostly how we know something is coming. Soon. I’m sorta scared. I feel like its gonna hit like a freight train. Hopefully a freight train loaded with tight fitting pants and loose shirts that won’t stay on him.

That being said, we actually have some pretty good evidence that Jimin will be on a song by BigBang member Taeyang. In January. Which begins today. That would be a great lead up to his solo album. Not that we need any more anticipation (see comment above about freight train).

3. Tae

...because he just said he’s been working on his fo-fo for two years. I know that has nothing to do with new music but it has to do with his warped sense of time. We know he’s been making songs for longer than that. JUST DO IT! PULL THE TRIGGER! THE SONGS ARE IN THE CAN! I don’t know though. I think we’d be seeing some teasers like we’ve seen with Jimin. I mean, Tae has had a pfp on his Insta from his fo-fo collection for quite a while now. Most of the year. And we had no idea it was from the fo-fo. Tae would tease his own music like that. What have we missed that could have been teasers? Just that he “threw away” those snippets he’s shared...but seriously... I think we’ll see some acting before music. Or maybe the acting will coincide with promotions for his solo release. That’s my prediction for Tae...sort of a maybe/maybe not situation.

4. Jungkook

....What can I say? He told us there’s a lot of things he wants to do in life and now he has a lot of time on his hands. So he’s out there riding his Harley and snowboarding, fueling those fanfics. However. This tour of meat restaurants that we’ve observed...he’s made that conspicuous on purpose. Signing autographs. He doesn’t have to do that. I am beginning to wonder if that will have something to do with promotions for his solo work. Hear me out: Hobi did some interviews on a radio show and IU’s show, Joon did some interviews on Youtuber channels and KBS news, Jin did some interviews with TV personalities/Youtubers... I can’t really see Jungkook doing any of that, being interviewed like that. JK is our free spirit who likes to hover in the background. Our little Gen Z’er thinking out of the box. So my prediction is JK is gonna walk us through an album of some sorts, song by song but be at a different meat restaurant while doing so. Along with showing us which restaurant has the best soju selection. Win win! Except we’ve not heard a single pin drop about whether he is working on something. So there’s that. Actually, strike that. JK is not gonna share his deepest inner thoughts on the songs he may ever release. He’ll just say, “they’re about Army” or “I was thinking about Army when I wrote that”... while stuffing his face with a wad of meat and radish. Sigh.

Military service (ugh):

This only requires common sense. Which there’s been very little of that on all sides regarding this topic. We were so delusional, including moi. Anyway, here I am carrying on with the delusional only armed with my bare bones basic facts and all my reconnaissance efforts regarding hearsay (see what I did there?) ...

Everything we’ve been told points to a 2025 comeback. They said so. There is also a contract renewal in this timeframe. We already know Jin will be discharged on June 12, 2024. So here’s my irrelevant and wildly guessed at predictions for the others... whups, I meant here’s what my reconnaissance tells me:

Namjoon, born in 1994, is 28 years old and will enter the military by March 2023. Joon will be going so soon in 2023 in order to get back and start preparing for a BTS comeback. That puts his discharge in September 2024, three months after Jin is discharged. Joon himself said he will do his best to get them ready for 2025.

Yoongi, born in 1993 will turn 30 years old soon (international age) and will enter the military by May 2023. He has no choice but to submit his paperwork due to his age. That would put his discharge by November 2024.

Hmmm. Second half of 2024 now not sounding quite like the wasteland of radio silence I previously thought it would be...

Hobi, born in 1994 will turn 28 in February; Jimin, born in 1995, is 27 years old and they will both enter the military by September 2023. Just like entering in the dead of winter, I suspect the dead heat of the middle of summer is not a desirable time to enter military boot camp training so they will delay until the heat of summer has faded. This would put their discharge dates in March 2025. Spring Day indeed. However, this would make September 2023 blisteringly heartbreaking for two to go at the same time.

Tae, also born in 1995, is also 27 years old. Tae going or not going with Jimin and Hobi will be based on the timing of his solo release. He’s really sort of a big question mark for me as far as timing. Tae may go with Jungkook.

Jungkook, born 1997 just turned 25. I think he will be enlisted before November 2023. This would put his discharge date in May 2025. Barely in time for Festa June 2025. Festa 2025 would be a great time for them to gather around the table again and share their military stories with us.

Or...

Jungkook will not enlist in 2023. SAY WHAT? He does not have to enlist until 2027, I believe, if he wanted to wait. But that would mean another interruption for BTS as a group which makes me already go, yeah, naw, he’s not waiting. Except things will be very different by 2025. They will be established solo artists. They can slow the roll on BTS and balance it with solo work. Between 2025 and 2027 they could have a very long and successful comeback world tour. That would set them up for another break (JK’s military duty). And the others could fill the gap with solo work. When JK gets back in 2029 it will be time to prep for the Busan World Expo (if Busan is chosen) as well as another BTS comeback.

But, shit happens. Right, 2022?

Other predictions:

Yoongi has a “really” “big” “something” that he is gonna try and he is “nervous” about it but will be a step toward his “dream”... which is... I have no idea so I will use my imagination: He is establishing a plum orchard and will produce his first fruit wine in 2025.

Also, Yoongi will not cut his hair until it’s time for enlistment.

Hobi will release some more music and/or have more collabs. I think he may do more live performances like at festivals and stuff through the summer. I think there is a chance he might be a fashion ambassador...for who? I have no idea.

Jimin will be riding out the wave of his solo release through the summer and I hope (for his sake) doing performances too, and some of them will be in the United States or other parts of the globe, joining the artists he’s collabbed with during their concerts.

Jungkook...honestly...it would not shock me if we do not get a full album from our bunny. Some collabs, maybe an EP? He will surprise us with something else. I don’t know what.

BTS as a group: when they “reconvene” in 2025 they will not be the same BTS as we know it. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Ok, I will check back on all of this in say... six months... and we’ll all laugh together at how stupid everything is that I just said. I mean, assuming I’ve survived PJM1 and all...

#me just being delusional #me also rambling #jimin #jungkook #yoongi #hobi #taehyung #namjoon #my clairvoyance is non-existent #pjm1 is coming

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sassasafreeaction · 8 months

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While The Resurrectionist minisode gives us a lot of different things, one of the most important things that it gives us is the concept of plausible deniability and how important it is for Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship.

In the episode, Crowley drinks literal poison, and while he gets to be very silly, he also gets to be a more honest and genuine version of himself. He gets to do good, and when Aziraphale points this out, he immediately throws in the rebuttal - "Not kind! Off my head on laudanum."

Now, the next time he sees Aziraphale, he asks for holy water, so it's hard to say how much deniability the laudanum actually gave him. At the same time though, Crowley is still around and not eliminated.

The only real effect that a supernatural being seems to experience with poison is drunkness, which in a way I guess makes sense because alcohol is its own poison. However, it's also a poison that the two of them regularly partake in.

A lot of the more serious and genuine conversations that the two of them have happen while they're drinking, when they have that level of plausible deniability. It would be so easy for one of them to say something and take it back under the ruse of being drunk and not knowing what they're doing or saying, even though they both know that it takes an extraordinary amount of alcohol or a strong poison for them to actually be drunk.

The first example we see is in the bookshop after Crowley has delivered the Antichrist, and he's trying to convince Aziraphale to help him. When they had met up initially, Aziraphale had adamantly refused to help him, but once they're safe in the bookshop with several bottles of wine in their system, Aziraphale is honest for the first time about his feelings on the situation. "I don't like it anymore than you."

Sure, they sober up shortly after that, but it isn't until there is that liquid courage/plausible deniability in their system that he's even willing to dare to start to humor the thought.

(In Hard Times, you do have them sharing a drink together in Rome. It's the first time where they seem to genuinely indicate that they'd be interested in actively pursuing the other's company. There's less to pick a part because it's so short, but worth mentioning, especially because the entire time the two of them talk, they have a drink in their hand.)

The next time we see either of them drinking is right after Crowley has left the bookshop fire. A lot of people drink when they're sad, so that's not the most exciting, but he is drinking because he's sad about Aziraphale, his "best friend," and while Hell probably doesn't care because they have bigger things on their mind, it still gives that placebo level of protection.

Side note, there's a strong chance that if Crowley does remember the Fall that this is probably the most accurate description since he's the most open we've probably seen him in the show here- essentially talking crap at the Heavenly Watercooler with the boys and then ending up in a boiling pit of sulfur.

The Script Book has a line that I think is super worth mentioning as Crowley says, "Aziraphale? I'm trying to get drunk. Failing." It emphasizes how much of a cover drinking has become for them, and that the act of pretending is more important than genuinely being drunk. Also, Crowley doesn't try to hide from Aziraphale. He doesn't specifically say "I thought I lost you," but he looks absolutely wrecked. The way Aziraphale pauses in return makes me feel like he has to know, but also, they're idiots.

The two of them also share a drink before the Swap, and they get rather philosophical in regards to the Almighty. This is also the first and only time that Crowley uses the phrase 'We're on our side' and Aziraphale doesn't have a rebuttal.

At the end of Season 1, they're at the Ritz, drinking of course, and it's here where both of them tease at how they genuinely feel about the other. The drinking is on the light side though, so we don't get anything more concrete than 'To the World'. (Although the way that Aziraphale looks at him and says that phrase still makes me weak.)

Season 2 sees Crowley offering Aziraphale his first drink. The angel refuses but Bildad still gets his drink on. This is the first time that Crowley introduces the concept of not being on Hell's side.

(Also, he just watches Aziraphale pleasure himself enjoy some ox ribs which is freaking wild. I'm pretty sure everyone has analyzed the undertones of this scene to death, but there's drinking involved so it makes the cut.)

After speaking with Heaven and Hell, Crowley and Aziraphale get together at the pub to discuss their new plan. They both have a single drink, but you have the chest touch and Crowley talking about falling in love in the rain (ya know like he did).

In 1941, following the magic act, we have them drinking again. Crowley asks Aziraphale to retire the act, and then there is an important beat as they get ready to start a more serious conversation. As soon as Aziraphale decides to take them toward more serious territory, he tops off Crowley's glass. They again tease at the concept of 'our side' by discussing the morally grey.

Now, in S2E6, Crowley mentions to Muriel about taking Aziraphale for an extremely alcoholic breakfast at The Ritz, which to me suggests that even without Maggie and Nina talking with him, Crowley likely would have confessed.

However, in Episode 5, when Crowley is sitting at the restaurant, the first thing he does after getting Aziraphale's attention is ask if he wants a glass of wine. Aziraphale tells him "I'm at work and I have a meeting". I feel like this was almost the original confession from Crowley. Forgive me because I can't find the post, but I know someone has pointed out some of the other parts things that indicate this (Crowley's is the only table with a rose, him walking right into the 'smitten' phrasing because he thought that might make a good transition, etc. I'm really sorry I didn't find it right away when I scrolled and I gave up.) I think the wine speaks a lot to it though because it allows for the same song and dance of if this doesn't work out, I can always blame it on the alcohol.

Now you could say that the two of them just really enjoy alcohol and its a coincidence, but there are an angel and a demon who also happen to meet a pub. Gabriel gets himself and Beelzebub a beer, but the two of them never drink them.

Unlike Aziraphale and Crowley, they have the luxury of power to protect them. They don't need to have the plausible deniability because as far as they're concerned, they answer to no one.

Maggie, a human, also turns down alcohol while she's with Nina. Nina needs the liquid courage, but she doesn't. She has no interest in alcohol. However, Nina is in a sticky situation with her partner. Maggie carries a torch for Nina, but she's also brave enough to be the first one to offer a gift and indicate how she genuinely feels about her. They're both human, so they can be honest with one another.

I'm sure drinks will probably still be important in Season 3, but I wouldn't be surprised if they have a scene where either Aziraphale or Crowley actively turns down a drink because they no longer need to hide.

#i spent entirely too long on this #i forgot to eat dinner. I'm gonna do that now I guess.#I wanted to contribute to the meta i guess #this makes me feel like I'm in a college english class again and i fucking love it #I missed this shit so much #if anyone can think of scenes I'm missing please feel free to add them #good omens #good omens 2

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yurisorcerer · 2 months

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God.

OK. So, this requires a little context. In a Discord server I'm in, they're groupwatching every KyoAni show. Starting today, they got to Haruhi Suzumiya and are going to be watching an episode per day until we finish it. I'm not gonna write about every single episode of this show---I've seen it several times at this point so while I have a fair bit to say about most episodes it's just a lot of effort for a series I don't think many people here on tumblr specifically care about anymore---I do wanna write about this one

because, like can you fucking IMAGINE opening an anime like this in 2024? It'd be impossible. When an anime in the present day wants to make a big impact it'll go for laser focus, trying to present its absolute best foot forward, or a grandiose overlength premiere like Oshi no Ko or Frieren or something. The idea of opening your anime with *this* is just....I mean, even at the time it was baffling. I watched Haruhi a couple years after it aired and I remember being SO confused. What was this? Why is the first episode of this show---a show that aired deliberately out of order, by the way. I'm calling it the first episode here but if you're going by DVD order it's one of the last---some weird, deliberately bad student film that has a snarky narrator CinemaSins-ing over top of it?

The short answer is just that from the very beginning, the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya has a somewhat antagonistic relationship with its audience. Haruhi herself, as we'll learn in upcoming episodes, is kind of a really unpleasant person before eventually getting better. And I'm not going to claim that this show invented the idea of having your title character be a complete jackoff---it did not---but at the very least, it felt new at the time. (Contrast that to nowadays where every two-bit isekai has a total fuckboy who you're clearly supposed to love from episode 1 anyway.) So the first episode is kind of a....I hate this term, but almost a troll move I guess? More than anything, it's supposed to be *confusing.*

Improbably, this worked, and The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya became, for both better and worse, one of the defining anime of its era. It's been nearly 20 years and I have no idea how this happened.

Some amount can probably be attributable to the charisma of Haruhi herself---she sucks, but she makes an *impression*---but none of that is really present here since she doesn't show up until the end of the episode for the big mic drop moment, a moment where we get slightly more of an idea of what this show even actually is.

I think honestly the charm of the deliberately bad film might have been a factor. The thing is completely nonsensical; we have Mikuru running around in a bunny outfit doing plugs for random local businesses while vying for the affection of Itsuki. Itskuki himself plays a character best described as "on-screen" and "present." Mikuru's big rival both in love and for the fate of the Earth (?!?!) is Yuki, who wears a fucking awesome witch hat throughout most of the episode. At one point, in scenes that seemed utterly baffling without the context that later episodes would provide, Mikuru's eye appears to actually change color and fire a beam from it, and Shamisen the cat talks like a person. This shit was weird! Even at the time.

Also the bit where she fires a gun and goes "aaaah!" as the recoil gets out of control is still funny to me 16 years later. Many things about me have changed since I first watched this show but apparently my sense of humor isn't one of them.

Haruhi Suzumiya as a series is really important to me in that it was one of the first things I watched that was REALLY OBVIOUSLY "anime." There wasn't the plausible deniability you got with something that aired on Toonami (and thus was visible to anyone with cable TV) or one of the common entry-level access points like Cowboy Bebop or such, which are considered classics not just of their medium but of their *genre* and thus didn't carry the same stigma. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is an anime-ass anime, with its bunnygirl outfits and improbable high school antics and psychic powers and aliens and yadda yadda. When I first started watching the series I was vaguely embarrassed about my interest in Japanese cartoons, by the time I'd finished it, I had an actual fucking SOS Brigade patch on my jacket. No less a figure than Tatsuki Fujimoto said that the series was responsible for turning his generation into otaku, and, anecdotally, he's pretty much right about that; most otaku I know of my age had a Haruhi phase at some point. (That's part of why Aya Hirano playing Makima in the Chainsaw Man stage play was such a big deal. It's not just that she's an incredible actress---although she is---that's fucking Haruhi playing Makima, man.)

Its success is also partly responsible for the light novel adaptation hellscape we now live in, so I'm not going to shy away from criticizing it either. Right off the bat there's a really uncomfortable kind of semi-"ironic" sexualization of Mikuru, helpfully lampshaded by Kyon as the film's narrator. This does not let up at any point throughout the show and is probably the worst thing about the series (although it doesn't reach its nadir for a while, if I recall). I'm not a fan.

Other than that element, I think as far as first episodes go, I wouldn't mind if more shows went back to this approach. There's something to be said for just baffling your audience into submission.

#the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya #yurisorcerer talks about media #yurisorcerer rewatches haruhi #<-this gets its own tag

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tea-with-evan-and-me · 3 months

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"Should I order us a bottle of wine?"

I'm sitting across a small table from Evan. He is soft-spoken and raises his eyebrows as he asks me. The waiter is standing patiently at our side, looking to me for the final decision. The waiter is dressed in a tux, a cloth napkin hanging over his arm. I told Evan it wasn't necessary to take me somewhere this fancy. I'm not fancy by any means. In fact, usually I would roll my eyes at the thought of it. Me,? At a fancy restaurant? Yea, fucking right. I'm classy but I'm not fancy. I apparently can't get the word fancy out of my head. The waiter clears his throat and it pulls me out of my daydream. Patience waining.

"Sure, but white wine please. The sulfites in red make me sick."

Evan knits his eyebrows and starts to say something when the waiter interjects.

"Ma'am, our red wines are authentic to Italian recipes and do not contain sulfites. Of course they are more expensive than other types, that we do serve, that you may want to stay away from."

"Oh, that's cool-I mean, ..lovely.." the waiter looks at me strangely and I shake my head. I hear Evan snort. I make a mental note to give him shit for it.

My eyes snap to his and I playfully glare at him. He chuckles and orders us some red wine that is friendly to my stomach. The waiter takes our food order as well and walks away, leaving us to resume our conversation. This is our first date. I know him a bit, but not well. The air between us actually is quite comfortable.

"Dude, I told you that you didn't have to bring me somewhere fancy. If you're looking to impress me, that ship has sailed" I smirk.

"Ouch, that stings" he jokes

I roll my eyes "I mean if I accepted a date with you, that means you've already impressed me" I smile at him. He smiles back and nods his head.

"Really, I just wanted to get in your pants..." He can't keep a straight face as he says it.

"Oh, yea? Well my muffin shop isn't open for first dates, mister can't keep it in your pants" I chuckle cause I know he's at least half joking. I mean he's a guy, but at the same time he would never want me to be uncomfortable. He knows I can take the joke. We've joked about far worse already. We share the same sense of humor, which is what I think we are both attracted to. He laughs out loud at my response.

"Muffin shop? That's fucking funny"

"Thanks, I'm here all week" and I pretend to take a bow.

"When does your shop open, exactly?" He says with a sultry look.

"Wouldn't you like to know" I respond, batting my eyelashes at him.

"I get the feeling you like to tease"

"I guess that's something else you're going to have to find out about" I give him a sexy look.

Our wine makes its way to the table. We cheer each other and take a sip. "Mmm, that's good" I say

"I really don't mean to be an ass about it. I would never pressure you. I just have to say that so you know" it takes me a minute to realize what he's talking about.

"No, I don't think you're being an ass at all. I trust you. And, ya know, I can take a joke." We are suddenly serious and staring into each other's eyes.

"Sometimes I think that people think I'm weird. I'm kinda socially awkward. The last thing I want to do is offend. But, you seem so cool and not easily affected by things. It's nice. I feel like I can be myself and I'm not being judged" his eyes go soft.

"Well, I am not judging you at all. I happen to think you are an amazing person. Not weird at all. Kind, thoughtful, sweet, funny. Those are better words to describe you. And I know you're just joking around. So, no worries, ok?" I cock my head to the side and smile reassuringly at him.

"You're food ma'am" I move my arms out of the way as our waiter is placing my plate on the table in front of me. It smells delicious and looks even more so.

We dig into our food. It's so good, neither of us talk while we eat. Finally, fat and happy, we lean back in our chairs.

"Was your food good?" I ask

"Amazing, yours"

"It was delicious"

The bill is silently left in the middle of the table

I joke "One, two, three fast hands!"

Evan laughs "Ha! You better leave that alone" wagging a finger at me.

"Are you sure?" I ask him softly. Sincerely.

"Yea, completely" he smiles

"Thank you so much for all of this. I have had a great time." I reach my hand across the table and Evan instinctually puts his hand out to mine. We stay like that for a long minute. I squeeze his hand gently as he looks into my eyes.

"It's been completely my pleasure" he answers. "Ready to go?"

I nod my head and sigh. Is it really over? At least the car ride is fairly long. That's something. We get our coats from the coat room, say good night and Evan helps me into mine. I thank him. He opens the door for me and we walk outside. It's a chilly LA night. To us at least. For the second time tonight he opens my car door for me. What a gentleman. My heart skips a beat as I realize I don't know many men like him. I decide to tell him so.

"Evan, can I be honest with you?" He looks a bit apprehensive, as if he thinks the let down is coming. He nods his head yes anyway, ready to take it like a man. "I've never had a man open a car door for me before. You're a bit of a rarity as far as men go these days. Don't ever lose that. It's so amazing" I lean over and kiss his cheek. I pull back and smile at the look on his face. "What's that look for?"

"I honestly thought you were gonna say, 'it's been nice but I'm not feeling it' ,or something" he looks away and blows air out slowly. He starts the car. I just give him a reassuring smile.

He starts driving towards my house. He asks what music I would like to listen to and I tell him it doesn't matter. He searches and finds a rock/alt station. Perfect. We stay pretty quiet. I make comments about the landmarks we pass and we talk about some places we would like to check out. Restaurants and shops. We make rhetorical plans to go to these places together. Finally, he pulls into my driveway. We aren't awkward with each other, but right now our hearts are racing. Our minds are racing. Do we kiss? Shake hands? Hug? Evan clears his throat and it hits me how incredibly handsome and adorable he is.

A sly smile "So uh, does your muffin shop serve any mini eclairs or petit fores, by chance?"

"What?" I chuckle and a snort escapes. We both laugh at that.

His eyes go soft again. Serious now. "Can I kiss you?"

"Oh..." I smile and nod my head, giving permission

He smiles and his dimples knock the wind out of me. He leans towards me. Keeping his eyes on mine. When we get close enough, his eyes flit to my lips and my stomach knots in a sweet coil. I close my eyes and wait for the feeling of his lips on mine. When I feel his mouth wrap itself on my top lip, I follow suit. He suckles a little and then repeats the same on my bottom lip.

He pulls away only slightly. All either of us can hear is our combined unsteady breathing. Our eyes remain closed. I lean my head towards him a bit and he meets my forehead with his. He brushes his nose against mine a few times and then plunges back in. This time urgently and open. He waits for me to initiate tongue. When I start it, we can't stop. We tease each other. Pulling away from one another. Licking lips. Each time the other is not there to meet our mouths we whimper. The passion we feel is a little bit unexpected. Finally, we have to force ourselves to take a break. Neither of us wanting to. Wanting to stay in our little piece of heaven for a little longer. Our foreheads are touching. I speak, my breath in his face. My question surprises him.

"Would you like to come inside for a bit?" I whisper to him.

His eyes flutter open. "A-are you you sure? You don't have to-"

I interrupt him "It's ok, Evan. Do you want to?"

"More than you know.." he whispers.

"Come with me sweetie"

He shuts off the car and we get out. He lets me lead the way to my door. Once inside, we both have no idea exactly what's about to happen, but we can't wait to find out.

(to be continued)

#fics

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popbloganddropit · 16 days

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7 days until THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT makes its debut and I wanted to make a little predictions post. I’m so excited to hear the devastation Miss Swift seems to have in store for us and I can’t wait to hear what it sounds like. There’s often a song on the previous album that is an early edition of the subsequent album’s sound. I have 4 guesses that may be a peek at what’s in store next Friday. Since it seems like it may be relevant, these songs are also thematically on trend, however we should always remain alert to Taylor loving a bait and switch.

1) Dear Reader/You’re Losing Me: I think these songs might be a thematic trend for what’s in store. A look at her own faults and things she may have kept hidden to put on a brave face. A breakdown of why a break up happened. However, I suspect that she will have sonically moved on from these two. I do not think she would put out Midnights 2.0.

2) The Great War: an advancement of Folklore, Evermore, and Midnights’ sounds while still being on theme.

3) Hits Different: I’m not 100% sure what to call this genre. Sort of a late 90’s/early 00’s adult contemporary-alt-pop-singer-songwriter Alanis/Natalie Imbruglia/Michelle Branch/vanessa Carleton vibes. Maggie Rogers has really started exploring this space and Olivia Rodrigo’s dipped her toes in a bit as well (anyone else an immediate Girl I’ve Always Been stan?). However, is there enough variety in sounds here for 20 new Swift songs to explore? Maybe not, but a biased me hopes she might dabble a bit more as it’s a really great genre for her to fire off a bunch of killer lines with a bit of sass or sense of humor. There’s also the artifacts/evidence lines in Hits Different and those words have made their way into some of the small amount of information we’ve gotten prior to the albums release.

4) The Alcott: while not from Midnights, this is still in the right time period so it fits in my opinion! Midnights maybe started off with a few songs written with Aaron Dessner before a pivot to full Antonoff based on an interview Aaron gave where he talked about when they worked on Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve. Maybe there were some more things she kept in the drafts for later. A heavier emphasis on the piano (perfect for acoustic surprise songs!), heavy and melancholy vibes, and vague lyrics that might still be protecting some identities seems like an easy pivot for her.

5) Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: a surprise 5th option I thought of writing number 4! Raw, angry, a bit more rock-influenced, many people were expecting this direction based on the aesthetic of the Midnights photoshoot. Taylor’s in tune with her audience and is certainly aware this is a sound nobody would be sad to see from her. It fits with the emotional space she might have been in, and is another genre pivot she could dominate. She is strategic though, and an Album of the Year nom is pretty unlikely back to back with her record-setting win in a very stacked year. Knowing how successful these full pivots have been for her, she might hold off until a more advantageous time. Although I think post-pandemic cancelled Lover-fest (with possibly Cruel Summer as a single attached?) and the adoration for some of the vault songs has made her not want to hesitate to put out good music. You never know what’s around the corner and it’s easier to stay on top than claw your way back up.

Which vibes are your favorite and what are you hoping for from TTPD? Cowboy Carter review is imminent and I hope to fire off Maggie Rogers’ before next Friday too!

#taylor swift #ts11 #ts11 theories #pop music #swifties #swift theories #the tortured poets department #ttpd prep #ttpd #ttpd predictions #ts ttpd #ttpd era

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boxwinebaddie · 6 months

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hbd stan! i'm using that as an excuse to say: u rock unc nina! ur my fav fic author because ik you write style fanfic, but u fleshed them out soooo much past what the show has done. in ur fics theyre almost like really good ocs? and u made the world so detailed and creative that if you didnt tell me it was sp i would srsly!!! think i was reading a novel from the bookstore! ur attention to detail is crazy. ty 4 blessing us. we luv you! p.s. u also seem rlly nice and r sooo pretty on twitter <3

this message made my heart smile, omg. thank you so very much.

first of all, of course, happy birthday stan the man with the plan.

second of all, i'm so honored to be your favorite fanfiction author! i would have never in my wildest dreams believed that so many people would form an attachment to the weird little things i write. :')

and i am grateful every single day for each and every one of you. <3

this ask actually really hit home for me because one of the imposter syndrome things i've been struggling with recently is worrying that i'm taking too many liberties with stan/kyle and just taking the characters so far out of context that they can barely be considered as style at all...or that they came out of the south park universe.

( edit: uh i spiraled into self doubt after this part, my fear that my fanfics are too ooc and i fucked w everything too much haunts me )

simply put: you all stumbled upon my stomping grounds because you were looking to read style fanfiction, so it would distress me deeply if you or other people stumbled across it and were like woah! wtf!!! this is not stan and kyle??? what's with all these crazy headcannons?!?!

but we have 20+ seasons of south park with...very inconsistent plot, lots of plot holes, lots of plot!!! of course, but not a ton of characterization beyond sort of baseline humor and skeleton stuff.

and in that case, i feel like you kind of have to take liberties when you are given that little in order to make a fluid story w/ realistic characters? so really, i just filled in the blanks with what felt right to me tried to take them from 2d characters to almost 3d people.

and so even if they are not textbook, i feel like every writer stylizes their style a different way ( pepstyle and rmstyle are just mine ) and i guess more than them being perfectly canon, i wanted you to resonate and love them as people, whoever those people may be.

so i am glad they are so lifelike/detailed to you that they seem like ocs compared to what matt/trey have given us, but i hope they are not too ooc/too fleshed out that they take away from actual style.

style ( taylor's version ) -> style ( nina's version )

which you guys seem to really like! which thrills me a lot!

and honestly most of that anxiety formed around rm!jersey and rm!ravenstan because they are technically goth stan as raven ( plus stan canonically singing in cd ) and kyley b jersey kyle...i just cobbled them to fit correctly into the offshoot southpark universe i created.

which i hope still reads as south park but in a much grittier, realer more modern sense? bc tbh rm happened bc i really wanted to writer a darker, psychological thriller, mystery, raunchy romance type beat.

it just looks a lot different than regular style stuff and i cant really disclose too much about raven until i can progress the plot past at least chapter...6? the chapter after this one? so he seems off??? but

*breathes bc im having a panic attack* sjdajsd aaa rip rip rip haha

its all still south park. its all style. jersey and raven are stan and kyle. even if it seems like the characterization off...let me cook. crying help.

thank you all for trusting my vision and enjoying my stuff even if it is not your normal style content. i literally have this panic attack like every couple of days so i am trying to have it publicly and civilly here.

the detail means a lot to me which i guess is why they kind of became my ocs rip...because i need there to be answers for every question. like yall could ask me any question about any four nina style boys and i would know in a second shdsadk. which might be psychosis, but i think...is possibly sick? shows i know my stuff? shdls

i am blessed to have you, actually, darling. thank you for reading my existential crisis. i'm glad you are enjoying your books that are barely south park featuring my yassified stans and kyles quasi ocs, rip.

i love you, i love you, mwah, mwah, mwah,

hope to put the next chapter of your book out soon also -- in november its nanowrimo! and instead of a novel, i will be focusing on my fics and i will be! revisisting peppermint! aaaa! get lit let's go!

-uncle nina, always in a crisis

P.S. WAIT THANK YOU FOR THINKING I'M PRETTY! THAT'S SO NICE! THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH D'AWWWW

#im sorry this message was unhinged #question of the day are my fanfictions too ooc #are the boys too...not like are in sp #like am i doing too much with them #or do we like it is it cool that i put a lot of detail into the character skells #i get nervous bc im reading fics and im like omg why are my stans and kyles different #im gonna *stan vc* throw up help #but anyways!#time for my ativan #sorry i made the sp boys my ocs by accident #and kind of wrecked the actual south park canon #i really tried to uphold a lot of it...some of it is just hard to transfer yk

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anhed-nia · 1 year

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Recently, someone asked me where I draw the line with horror movies. She expected that we all have subjects or scenarios that are a non-starter because they're just too scary, disgusting, or distasteful. I had a hard time answering her question, because that's just not how I operate; like, it used to be that I wouldn't watch any pseudo-snuff fare like FACES OF DEATH, but then I actually saw that movie and realized that I like it. I guess I'm circumspect about movies that focus on sexual assault, because that's the most likely thing to offend me if its "handled wrong" in my rather mercurial opinion, but that still won't stop me. Some people (usually parents) can't stand seeing children in peril, but I definitely don't have that problem. Generally speaking, the more you threaten me with a bad time, the more attracted I am to the challenge of enduring it.

But, with all that on the table--and I have no idea what this says about me--I have a hard time with body horror. And by that, I mean a different thing than what usually comes to mind. Like, often when my personal lord and savior David Cronenberg sends a movie to Cannes, we get all these reports back of walkouts and vomiting in the aisles, and like…I would agree that CRIMES OF THE FUTURE offers one of the most transgressive images ever committed to film, but I can take that. (I'll take it and like it!) However, I'm really afraid of modern slaptstick comedy. It's not that I'm too good for lowbrow humor, but so many movies by folks like the Farrellys and the Zuckers just amount to torture porn for me. They're almost always "funny" mainly at the expense of the body: Somebody always winds up in a situation that's like something out of SALO: 120 DAYS OF SODOM, shitting and pissing their pants, suffering unwanted sexual experiences, eating or drinking something they shouldn't be, and generally being corporeally humiliated to the point that if it happened to you in real life, you'd never come back from it. To me, this kind of material escapes the bounds of actual-comedy and becomes some sort of grim purgative ritual for humanity's profound and enduring sense of shame. There's no joy in the laughter I've heard when I consented to watch such things in group settings, just this weird, shrill, pre-nervous breakdown anxiety that I don't find it at all fun or funny to be around, or to experience myself.

It may also be worth mentioning that I'm somewhat emetophobic. Like when I saw that scene in POLTERGEIST as a kid, the fact that the guy was throwing up at all was just as upsetting to me as the otherworldly reason it was happening. This is a fear that I just-barely have under control as an adult who is forced to live in a body that must occasionally, for perfectly healthy reasons, reject something I put in it.

Anyway, TRIANGLE OF SADNESS is very good, and it has a point to make, and as someone who is not in the luxury yacht class of people, I have a feeling I should enjoy watching a bunch of rich parasites weeping and screaming while basting in their own juices. And as a devoted fan of the horror genre, whose purpose in life is to show you the thing you don't want to see, I should be the target audience for something that evokes such a crystal clear vision of hell. But honestly, I don't know how well I was able to appreciate it while my brain was just going, "Yup, this is pretty much the worst thing that can happen. The worst thing there is. And it's still happening. God I hope this never happens to me. Is it still going on? …yeah, it's not over. I wonder how long this can happen for. I wonder if this happened to you, if you would go through some kind of permanent psychological change. I wonder if that happened to the people who were trapped on that stranded, contaminated cruise that was in the news a while ago. I wonder if that's happening to me now, just because I'm watching this movie. Wait, is it still going on? …Yup, I guess so," etc. I started to get sympathetic cramps, and I felt my face tingling in a way that I only associate with having consumed poison. I started sifting through memories of other movies that made me want to slam on the breaks: certain of the Guinea Pig films, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, STREET TRASH, NEKROMANTIK 2 when they club the seal, the interminable rape scene in IRREVERSIBLE, Craig Zobel's devastating COMPLIANCE, the grand finale of CENTIPEDE HORROR… I think all of the competing candidates involved extreme violence, which I guess tells you something about how I rate the yacht segment of TRIANGLE even though there are no rapes or murders involved. As it dragged on, I wasn't thinking anymore about how great it was that all the selfish, destructive rich people were having their thin veneer of bullshit dignity ripped away; I was just thinking about how unhappy I was, and how it seemed like I wasn't going to be feeling better any time soon.

Actually I worried that I might have nightmares about TRIANGLE OF SADNESS, and I did. I had a dream that some friends and I saw it at a festival where there was mass sympathetic vomiting, and we later learned that Ruben Östlund had learned some things about human neurology that ensured that what he showed, and how he showed it, was guaranteed to make any viewer vomit no matter what--sort of like the mythical "brown note" that's supposed to make you shit your pants. In the dream, I wasn't sure if I admired his level of calculation, or if I just felt totally manipulated and ripped off by being forced to have a bodily reaction that had little to do with my thoughts and feelings or appreciation for art. And like, maybe option #2 is how I really feel about this movie!

That's not to say that the movie doesn't have strengths besides the extreme horror of being doomed to a human body. It's funny (in other ways), it's got a bunch of great performances, it looks good, and it's reasonably smart. But on that last note, I scanned a bunch of reviews from prominent critics that denounced it as a lite, too-easy version of this form of social criticism, and that may be true. I may not be intellectually equipped to really address that, but it could be that the movie's initial, visceral shocks overwhelm one's assessment of how sharp its philosophical commentary actually is. I'd say this matter requires further examination, but I can almost guarantee that I'll never watch TRIANGLE OF SADNESS ever again as long as I live. And I've seen CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST more times than I choose to admit.

PS I wanted to say something about how weird it is that we've all been sharing this collective dream about extremely rich people experiencing a personal apocalypse on seafaring tourist expeditions--I mean am I the only one who feels like they're going insane from the bizarrely close concentration of a whole bunch of movies and shows that do this exact thing? But now I'm just exhausted, so somebody else will have to work that out. I'll be too busy doing some soul searching about why I find movies that are drenched in blood, guts, and misery so much easier to take than what happens in TRIANGLE OF SADNESS.

#not blogtober #triangle of sadness #Ruben Östlund

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yelenabelovq · 2 years

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iii. the hatred of a minute | m.m.

series masterlist

summary: long nights begin being crowded by things you don't want to see materialize, after your legal battle runs its course. the question stands: can you fight your way out of this one? or will you finally fall?

playlist: permit the righteous to be moved | m.m.

word count: 3.6k

rating: 18+, swf, canon typical violence with a slight trigger warning for assault/SA (latter only mentioned in a medical sense), slight she-hulk spoilers

a/n: (playlist starts after if i'm being honest) this quote comes from an edgar allen poe passage, "years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute." hello all! i know it's been like nine months since my last chapter and honestly i shouldn't promise any more consistent updates lmfao. i've moved twice (once cross country) since my past chapter and i'm moving out of state again in like two weeks. so life has been unreasonably crazy lately, but i watched she-hulk and when she said the accords were revoked i was like are you fr rn bc so much of this fic's plot was in fact based around the accords but also i hadn't been writing bc i didn't know what i wanted to so with it so honestly that little tweak in canon made me wanna overhaul the plot and start writing again so here i am!! this is still the bare bones of where i had planned on going with the series but with some changes so that i'll actually be invested in writing it lol and i hope y'all will be invested in reading it!! also shout out to the three people in my notes who reblogged the first two chapters like two days ago that finally made me start writing, yall are awesome. this is for u. (and she-hulk) (oh yeah also matt in she-hulk!! sexy af)

March 2024

Matt could smell your hangover.

Every inch of you was drenched in sweat and vodka and sick. You stumbled into the office of Nelson, Murdock, and Page a little after eleven, half reeling, and rendering Matt more than a little concerned. Foggy met you as you made it in the door, helping you to the small couch next to his desk.

“What the hell happened to you?” Foggy asked, tossing Matt a water bottle to hand to you.

“Have you seen, like, literally any public media source?”

Matt hummed, leaning against the desk across from you. “I did. Imagined you’d take it about this well, too.”

“Thought you couldn’t see, Murdock.”

Matt chuckled. “Good to know your humor’s still in tact.” He unscrewed the bottle an handed it to you. You took it, taking a long sip, then pressing your head to the back of the couch.

“How does, like, the law work?” you asked. “Can I sue? I wanna sue, or something. Get that asshole to put his shield down.”

Foggy laughed sympathetically, walking around to take a seat. He’d told Matt you would be coming in today only about an hour ago, detailing the phone call he’d had with Bucky Barnes. Apparently he’d fished around your purse until he found Foggy’s business card and called, asking if you could come in. Neither of them knew what the topic of your visit was, but after last night’s news spectacle, it wasn’t hard to guess.

“That’s not how the law works, unfortunately,” Matt answered you. “Also, we’re defense lawyers.”

“Okay, and?”

“We don’t sue people.”

“We protect the people getting sued,” Foggy supplied.

“Assholes,” you mumbled, eyes sliding shut.

“So, what, did you raid a liquor store last night?” he asked, voice dancing with the odd mix of sympathy and humor.

“Tried to outdrink Bucky.”

“How well did that go?”

“Can’t remember a single thing after four p.m., but at least my hangover hurts worse than the news blasts I keep getting on my phone do.”

“You can turn those off, you know,” supplied Foggy helpfully.

“Fuck off, Nelson.” Matt laughed, suddenly acutely aware of the rip in your jeans where your skin poked through unhindered. You were crowding his senses for some reason. He pushed off the desk, walking around just to give himself something to do. He noted what was happening outside the window. Someone was walking a dog, a couple was arguing, a few honks from taxi drivers, the smell of you underneath all the liquor—

Knock it off, he thought.

He paced back around to the opposite side of the desk, balancing himself on the edge. Your voice coated his thoughts as he tried to focus on what you and Foggy were saying.

Foggy was explaining something about the legality of the Accords to you that Matt was struggling to catch on to. You swore at whatever he said. Matt let the conversation float over him as his senses crept out to the warmth of your skin and the softness of your voice and whatever shampoo you used that made you smell so good. He dug his nails into the wood of the desk below him, something solid to keep him from drifting into whatever made him like you so much. He knew he couldn’t, knew he shouldn’t, after the alarms went off in his mind the last time he walked you home and you’d leaned into his touch just a little too much. That bit of intimacy you’d offered him, the trust you were putting in him was misguided, unearned, and dangerous. Not with who he was. Not with who you were.

So he denied himself, as any good Catholic would.

He was brought back into reality when Foggy directed something at him.

“What?” he stuttered, willing his brain to come up with something a little bit better.

“Still with us?” Foggy laughed.

You remarked, “I thought I was the one who was wrecked,” and he clenched his jaw.

“My mind wandered.” He took a slow, deep breath.

He couldn’t ignore the soft laugh you gave, or the way your pulse picked up with awareness under his focus. He could tell Foggy knew he was full of shit. "What did you say?"

"Do you think you could handle a neighborly visit?" Foggy asked.

Matt had no idea what he was talking about.

Thankfully, Foggy saved him the embarrassment of having to ask. "I'm going to do the best I can to figure out how to get around this once Bucky Barnes gets in contact with Sam Wilson. I think you should pay a visit to Mr. Walker."

Matt huffed and shifted from foot to foot. "Um, why?"

"Trying to prevent a murder," he answered dryly, then pointed a finger at you. "You are not to make contact with Walker. At all. I don't care. Relay that message to Bucky as well."

You sighed and rolled your eyes, letting your head lull back onto the couch. Your hair fell away from your neck, exposing more of your skin to the air. No more deep breaths.

"I think it can be arranged," Matt said.

He felt you tense, like you were making to get up, but you didn't move. Matt rounded the desk again, offering his arm to you. "Let's get you home."

You took it, letting him half-haul you up off the couch and into a standing position. Your skin was so soft. "Coffee?" he asked.

"You buying?"

He smirked at you, then turned his attention to Foggy. "Send any updated you find?'

Matt could tell Foggy was giving him a look that he was hoping you weren't picking up on, powers or not. You let yourself be escorted out the door, down the stairs, and out of the building, the entire time not letting go of Matt's arm.

New York liked to pretend to have spring. There was snow on the ground, and the temperature was barely breaking 65, in a way that let non-locals believe there might be some warmer weather up ahead. He knew better, though. He knew New York would stay icy for a long while longer.

He walked along the streets covered with melting snow, dodging tourists and kids checking out colleges on spring break. No one paid him a second thought. People were too busy thinking about themselves. Everyone is always only ever thinking about themselves.

Even when there was so much hurt in the world. So much that needed to be fixed and yet everyone chooses to think only about themselves. Everyone chooses to ignore the help they could give others and instead make it about them. So selfish, he thought. But he wasn't selfish. He thought about other people. He thought about the betterment of other people. Of a community.

That's why it took him so long to pick the perfect person. He didn't want to call her a victim. A pretty blonde in a pinstripe suit. She had just hung up the phone. Perfect, he thought. She wasn't a victim, no. Even as she thrashed and kicked as he came down hard with a hand over her mouth and dragged her into the alleyway just to his right. She wasn't a victim, she was the beginning to the betterment of a community. Of the world.

He pushed the needle into her skin, letting the dosage sink into the muscle of her arm. He'd had to tear her pretty blazer. He was sure she'd be fine with it if she knew. If she knew she was the beginning to a better community.

She lost her fight as the dose made its way through her system, slowly slumping in his arms as he lowered her to the ground, and he left her there to wake up later, making his way back into the sidewalk as if nothing had happened.

"Are you sure they're going to let you in in your condition?"

You laughed, still clinging to Matt's arm as you both made your way to the hospital. He'd insisted on ensuring you made it there safely, despite your protests. It's either this or the rooftops, he's said. He'd bought you coffee. You figured you could start your shift off on the right foot.

"They don't care what state I'm in as long as I can change a bedpan and start and IV," you remarked.

Mat laughed, and you liked the sound. "Let me know if you ever want to unionize."

"We're med students, Matt, I'm not even a real employee."

"That... sounds like it should break some labor laws."

You screwed up your face. "Gotta learn somehow. There could be worse ways. Than legalized slavery."

"Oh no," Matt said around another one of those pretty laughs. God. Go back to when you hated him, you thought. It was so much easier than thinking he was beautiful. And God, was he.

"I'll be fine," you stated, trying (and failing) to stop staring at him in the glistening springtime air. "Couple more cups of coffee and I'll be human-shaped again. Or, med student-shaped. How about you go out there and make sure we don't get any stabbings or GSWs? I want a quiet night."

"I'll try my best," he said, releasing your arm so he could slide his hand up and down it. What a gentleman, warming you up. So polite.

You stood there in silence, trying to come up with something to say maybe to extend the moment, or maybe a dig to make it not as incredibly obvious as it felt that you really enjoyed his company. Before you got the chance, a scrub-clad energy ball launched at you.

"You gotta come in here, we got a chick with some weird-ass symptoms, right up your alley. Come do your funky thing." He shivered. "God, it is freezing out here."

"Derek, no, that's not how this works and you know it." You sighed, closing your eyes, and digging your phone, which had begun ringing, out of your coat pocket.

"It is now," Derek said, smiling like he was sharing an inside joke with you. His smile faltered when he realized you were entirely lost. "You didn't see? I thought you would be jumpin' for joy."

"See what, Perez?" you asked, funneling every inch of exasperation into the question.

"The Accords got revoked. You get to be super doc."

"What?" you and Matt snapped in unison.

You looked down at your phone to see Foggy calling and thrust the phone up to your ear.

"Is it true?" you demanded at the same time Foggy said, "I have the best news ever!"

You heard him laugh on the other end of the line. "No more collar or leash for you, baby! The Accords were just revoked for American citizens!"

"Is he serious?" Matt asked you in a low voice.

You felt like you were going to pass out.

"I knew this had been in the works in congress but I didn't want to get my hopes up, but it's happening, baby!" Foggy was going on.

"What?" you snapped.

"Effective immediately, you are no longer required to sign the Accords. No leash, no monitoring. Go have fun."

"I would definitely still check with your higher-ups before using your abilities at work," Matt supplied.

"Is that Matt? Matt, you asshole, I've been calling you for like 10 minutes!"

"Dude," Derek said, "you've gotta come see this girl."

You were frozen in place, frozen with shock until you felt Matt's hand come to rest on the small of your back. You took a shuddering breath. "So, I'm free?"

"You're free," Foggy said gently.

You hung up the phone without saying goodbye, and turned to Matt. "I should get in there." Patients first, feelings later.

"Have a good evening," Matt said, his hand falling from your back. "Text me when you get home.

You knew damn well he would know when you got home without you texting him. But you didn't say anything. Instead, you turned back to Derek as he walked away and you forced yourself not to let your gaze follow him.

"Do I have time to get scrubs?"

"This chick is wild, okay," Derek began, ignoring your question. "I'd just gotten in when she came in. Flu-like symptoms, so the docs put her on me, right? Turns out, she was assaulted walking to work. All shaken up. I went to go get the kit, but she kept refusing, thought she'd probably feel safer with a female doc. So I offered up one of the interns, but she refused again. Said she was conscious for the entire attack, and all that happened was this guy stuck a needle in her arm and left her on the ground." He kept talking as you rounded the corner into the locker room. "Scumbag, right? I wasn't sure I believed her, but she let me do a physical exam and the only signs of struggle were on her face and neck. And her arm, where the needle went in. So she's telling the truth. And here's the catch. Tox screen is nuts."

You shrugged on your white coat. "How so?"

"Lit up like a Christmas tree," Derek said, shaking his head. "Amphetamine, opiates, benzos, tylenol, you name it."

You raised your brow at him. "Wow."

"And get this, she's bleeding from every line we give her. I tried to put in an IV, blew the vein."

"You're bad at IV's."

"Not that bad," he said indignantly. "But even Mar tried, and the line started bleeding. Mar! Best nurse in this place botched an IV. Doc Cohen tried to put in a central line, more bleeding. Her pressure was skyrocketing every time we tried too."

"That would sense," you said following him further into the ER. "Eight million drugs in someone's system ought to thin the blood."

"Yeah but we get at least a central line on druggies. Besides, she doesn't have any past drug use history. Her lines are clean, man." He led you to a private room towards the back of the ER. You pushed open the door with a sigh.

There was a young girl on the bed, two bloody bandages around her arms and a bandage across her chest. She was pretty, twenty-something with her blonde hair falling out of a ponytail at the back of her head. There was what looked like a designer bag and pinstripe pants discarded in the corner, the matching jacket in an evidence bag.

"Hannah Edwards, this is one of my colleagues, she's gonna do a much better job of figuring this out than we are," Derek supplied as you walked farther into the room.

You introduced yourself with as much smile as you could muster, sitting down next to the bed. "Don't sell her lies, Dr. Perez, please. How are you feeling?"

"Like a human pin cushion with a nasty flu," Hannah said with a weak smile.

"Can you tell me when you started getting the flu symptoms?" you asked.

"Like, fifteen minutes after the guy got me. I laid on the floor, not able to move for like ten minutes. When I got up, I started to go home, but I got, like, super dizzy and feverish five minutes later, so I came here instead."

"You were paralyzed?" you asked.

"I guess?" Hannah shrugged. "I got really groggy for a while and then when I tried to move, everything felt super heavy. It took me, like, ten minutes, like I said, to get up and move. Then I felt all dizzy and came here."

"Good thing," you said. You let your ability reach out ever so slightly, creeping out to touch whatever weird sickness surrounded her.

You jumped back.

"What, what is it?" Hannah asked.

"Dr. Perez, could I see that tox screen please?"

Derek handed you the paper. "Told you, there's almost so much on there that it's unusable."

"She shouldn't be upright with all of this in her system. Have you had any vomiting, Hannah?" You read the tox report again and again, begging the number to make sense but--Hannah Edwards should be dead right now if this were true.

"Just a little nausea," Hannah answered.

"Temp's been bouncing between 100 and 102," Derek said from behind you. "That's the third tox I ran. Same result every time."

You stood up, turning to meet his eye. "Let's get this shit out of her system, please."

You walked out of the room, almost slamming face-first into your resident as the door shut behind you.

"Did you do your thing?" Dr. Cohen asked.

"I, uh--"

"She started to, but something weird happened, huh?" Derek supplied. He'd seen you break the rules with your mutation once or twice or enough to tell when you did.

"It was weird. Like her sick pushed against me. She has so much in her system she should be dead or close to it, but there's something to keep her standing," you told them.

"Which is?" Cohen asked.

"I... don't know."

"Okay, so go find out." Cohen flashed her brown eyes between you and Hannah.

You sighed and shook your head before shutting your eyes and willing the hustle and bustle of the ER to go quiet for just a moment. You let your ability reach out once again, tendrils of invisible power creeping toward Hannah in her bed. You let it lace through every drug in her system, finding familiar things like acetaminophen and penicillin, the odd things like an antidepressant, and the less familiar things you were assuming were things like cocaine and meth, until you found... nothing.

"There's nothing there."

Derek and Cohen stared at you.

"What?" Derek asked.

"All that must be a front. She just has the flu." You looked between the puzzled expression the two shared.

"A flu that came on in less than fifteen minutes," Cohen supplied.

"I'm not saying that's all it is, or all that's gonna develop." You shoved the chart back into Derek's hands. "You should admit her for observation. I need a cup of coffee."

Your phone rang again hours later and as it flashed on the table of the breakroom, you found yourself hesitant to answer.

"Hi, Matt," you said as you brought the phone up to your ear.

"Good evening," he said, his voice silky and husky and you wanted to hang up.

"Hi."

"Are you walking home tonight?"

"Alone," you said. Not the smartest idea, all things considered, but you knew when someone was going to sneak up on you. You were an Avenger for fuck's sake. You could walk home alone tonight.

His voice dropped imperceptibly lower. "What happened?"

"Nothing," you said, carefully keeping emotion out of your voice. "Busy night. And, plus, I don't really need a lawyer anymore, since the Accords were revoked. So."

Matt laughed dryly, and you felt like you could imagine his face on the other end of the phone. He sighed. "You know I can hear your heartbeat through the phone, right?"

"You're so full of shit."

"You're lying to me. Why are you blowing me off?"

"Cause I'm a big girl, Murdock!" You dragged a hand over your face. Attachment was not your style, even Steve knew that, but this guy was making that very difficult. "I don't need you trying to sneak into my bed every night."

"You have got to stop with the lying, it's getting you nowhere with me."

You screwed up your face. "Goodbye, Matt." And you hung up the phone.

Matt was not having a good night.

He went out on patrol like he did most nights. Like you told him to that night. That was where he'd called you from, a rooftop in Hell's kitchen. Maybe he did go seeking out trouble. Getting into fights he didn't need to be in. He wasn't unaccustomed to getting his ass kicked. No one knew more than Matt Murdock what pavement tasted like. What differed tonight from most nights, though, was the level at which he got his ass kicked.

Whatever he was stuck with, it knocked him on his ass for a good ten minutes. Groggy and disorienting, like every cell was magnetized to the floor. His throat hurt, probably a symptom of being out in the cold all night. Even Daredevil wasn't immune to the common cold. He hauled himself off the floor with great effort, shocked his assailant left him there, and a little upset with himself he let the guy get away.

He was beaten and bruised and thoroughly feverish as he sat on the subway to Brooklyn.

He didn't want to show up on your doorstep. And you'd made it very clear you didn't want anything to do with him. But he was tired, and everything ached, and if anyone could fix his potentially broken rib, it would be you.

So, no, he didn't really blame you for the shock when you opened the door to your condo and found him slumped against the doorframe.

"Matt?" Your voice was high and indignant.

"I don't--" He fell forward, and you caught him taking off his mask.

"What the hell happened?" you demanded.

"Lost a fight," he managed, letting you guide him to the couch. He felt... some sort of tickle. Something that relaxed his muscles and felt soft, like how he imagined your skin felt.

"Matt, what the hell? Who did you get in a fight with?"

"I don't--" He grunted in pain, then relief as the pain in his ribs subsided.

He felt your face contort in pain, and your breath hitch.

"Don't--" he started.

"What happened?" you tried again.

His body started to feel light, so light, as if he were floating. Then he felt you slump against him, and suddenly, sleep was grabbing at his senses. He tried his hardest to resist it, tried to shake you awake, but he just ended up falling asleep, a hand snaking into your hair.

#my desire to be back in school rly popped out here #rip my nonexistent career #this is really not proof read sorry #its okay im moving to florida to work for disney in like a week so thats cool as hell #emmmaswrites #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #daredevil #daredevil fanfiction #matt murdock x fem!reader #marvel #marvel fanfiction

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fy-wonwoo · 1 year

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2022 SEVENTEEN MOMENT: Original Content -> Staff pick “WONWOO’s Diary”

Why “WONWOO’s Diary” is SEVENTEEN’s best episode of the year

Yi Yunju (PLEDIS Marketing 1 team head): I think the “WONWOO’s Diary” episode of GOING SEVENTEEN was something only SEVENTEEN could ever pull off. The whole thing was made possible thanks to their sense of humor and their trustworthy acting skills. The members usually always pull GOING SEVENTEEN along, but their short skits and fake documentaries like “WONWOO’s Diary” are especially improvised, so there’s more raw fun. We have a teaser series for GOING SEVENTEEN called GGOYO-ILER, and in the teaser for this episode, WONWOO was dressed in summer clothes. But it was an intentionally misleading teaser. (laughs) We worked extra hard to make it impossible to guess from the preview what happens in the actual episode since it’s full of extraordinary characters.

They are SEVENTEEN

Yi Yunju: The whole structure of the episode was based on what the members improvised. We just gave them a general outline and the rest is all thanks to their skills. Now they don’t even feel flustered if we just, you know, throw them into a random situation. (laughs) I think the highlight is when Yoon Nieun (JEONGHAN) and Jo Giyeok (JOSHUA) are on-screen together. Previous episodes of GOING SEVENTEEN showed JEONGHAN to be a strategist and a master of mind games, while JOSHUA’s been painted as someone who very occasionally can’t hide his crazy side. We expected them to be a duo of handsome, lazy bums, but they did even better with their characters than expected. One of them stops in the middle of washing their hair and says things like, “You want? (Do you want to wash your hair?)” and, “Look Tho (You look like Thomas).” We never expected them to say such iconic lines. They really took abbreviations to a new level. Whenever we shoot the show, it never goes as expected. (laughs)

Behind the scenes of “WONWOO’s Diary”

Yi Yunju: You can see in “WONWON’s Diary” that there’s so many different kinds of people living in the town of Seong-ri, and they all have the same goal, which is to be on National Singing Contest. I think it can be seen as a metaphor for the way the 13 members of SEVENTEEN are all working toward the same goal together. This episode also showed us how serious fans are about GOING SEVENTEEN. We had absolutely no idea the “WONWOO’s Diary” episode would end up spawning a spooky story about Sevong-ri. It was fun to see them coming up with their own analysis that went beyond the content itself. S.COUPS was originally supposed to be a scarecrow who protects Sevong-ri, actually. He was going to be this scarecrow who’s everywhere in the town and so he knows all of its secrets. Seeing how popular the spooky story became makes me wonder what the episode would’ve been like if he had ended up playing that character after all.

GOING UNIVERSE

Yi Yunju: One of our goals is to create a big fictional universe that exists solely inside GOING SEVENTEEN. We want the episodes to connect in a way that the memes and characters from one episode carry over into the next ones. Fans really liked the character Fe Turin (DINO) when he first appeared at the group’s fan meeting, CARAT LAND, in a video called What on Earth. I always thought it was a shame to just let go of the character and “WONWOO’s Diary” was the perfect opportunity to bring him back. (laughs) And it isn’t just Fe Turin—there’s also the song “Zero Step” as sung by Jo Eulho (HOSHI), which is like an early version of “One Step,” a song Dan Dara (DK) and Hong Heungho (HOSHI) sang in another CARAT LAND video titled “Boo Drop Guru.” In the case of “Zero Step,” HOSHI was on set and trying to figure out what would be a good song to sing. Seeing as Jo Eulho’s a trot singer, it was a perfect fit, so that’s what we ended up going with. Fe Turin even made an appearance during their latest stadium tour (laughs) and I hope we can have more chances to take the fun things that get their start in the GOING UNIVERSE and give them to the fans.

What to expect next from GOING SEVENTEEN

Yi Yunju: The group members and the staff are always working to make sure GOING SEVENTEEN is always full of laughs without crossing the line. The members get fully immersed in each episode but they never say or do anything that would hurt each other. I think people naturally get a look into the real teamwork SEVENTEEN has by watching the show because they’re always so considerate. It’s amazing that there’s so many fans of GOING SEVENTEEN that there’s even a whole separate fandom, CUBIC, and we’re so grateful for that. I feel sorry that we couldn’t make as many episodes toward the end of the year since things are getting busy again with the endemic phase approaching. We’ll be back with a refreshed and more diversified GOING SEVENTEEN next year, so I hope everyone’s looking forward to it!

source

#jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #seventeen #svt #going seventeen #article

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neutrallyobsessed · 3 months

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EPISODE 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE BACK!!!!!

there in school again and Jesús hates it lol speaking of, everyone hates Joan~ lolol

AHHH THE BLEACHERS CREATURES NOTE!! Oh shit- its funnier than i expected heh, reminds me of Mikitaka honestly~~

Wait, so this guy isn't Malcom X? Then who tf is he? fr i didnt catch a word he said when he said his name..... I guess i'll be calling him Malcom X for the rest of this liveblog and when i finish ill check what his name really is lol, i really dont wanna spoil myself on this!

POINT! attention whore confucius my beloved~~, but let's see what this professor is all about...

Abe and JFK friendship! That sounds lovely and I sure don't care! But wish the best for them shippers! I'm also crossing my fingers! Teehee :3c

INTRO!! IT'S THE SAME AS BEFORE!! eh okay, kinda wanted it to change to reflect the current relationships but the only thing that should change is the parts with Joan, JFK and Abe so.... yeah its ok...

And Candide is the sole member of the board, yeah that makes sense lol, she also took vacation, haha "tanned"

GANDHI!!!!!! SXTREAM BLU!!! BEST DUDES 4EVER!!!! KNORK!!!! G-SPOT!!!!!! RAISINS!!!!!!! wait the retainers are actually Joan's...

THE EAR PIERCING!!!!!!!!!!!

they were right, they really are teasing our cocks with gandhi what the fuck

HE'S HERE!!

YEAH GIRL INTERRUPT THAT MUSICAL, NOBODY LIKES THAT SHIT HELL YEAH!!! and there are better people out there that can explain why Jackie is epic yoo

I just want more points jsksjksjksjsjsks

yeah "well funded" but............. oh cool a rocket! so it is true that theyll send them clone to space? :D

Wow Harriet being non-conformist by being conformist thats punk as hell man!

wait book burning? lmao- NOOOOO NOT THE FUCKING MAGNETS PRESENTATION AAAA BUT THE POINTSSSS NOW WE WILL NEVER KNOW HOW DO THEY WORK!!!!

oh but harriet/not malcom x apperantly? thats looking good so far ey

Hmm i still buy the theory that Exclamation! is in Nebraska

OH umm Mr B had a very smooth animation right there.....and yeah this whole scene is funny lolol glass ceiling

JFK being a jerk ass bully!!! Hell yeah!!!! :DDD

omg this is so funny cause like JUST THIS WEDNEDSDAY! JimmyHere did his ylyl vid of the week and in that vid he went to fact check about what happens if you eat a magnet! The answer being well yeah it wont kill you but ahahahha DONT DO IT MMMMM :))))

OH MOTHERFUCKER- QUE CONCHA DE SU MADRE JJAJAJJAJA me cae chistoso este profe, con que se la andara?

OYO THE TENSION! THAT YOUTUBE SOUND EFFECT!!

I LOVE IT!!!

HE'S BACK!!

I mean yeah, it makes sense that you choose a good color when you paint a wall, specially for vandalism purposes but ey look! a canon couple passed by when Joan and Topher were in close proximity to each other! that MUST mean something right?!

MOPED!! That's SO cool! they're going Downtown babey ;3 with- the massive helmet eheh WOAH THATS TIGHT ALRIGHTTT

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE LIEEEEE JSKSJSKJSKSSKSJKS ES EXCELENTE

NADA QUE VER BOLUDAAAA NDEAAAAHHHH JSKSJKJSKSJKJS

AH BUENO EYE SEX REAL issss is this something the big mouth writers put on? ahahahhahhhhhh i want a word with them-

but does your eye got a boyfriend? WELL YEAH..........

.........

... eye got a boyfriend :v

sooo y'all just spray paint a wall? hmm ok, expecting future mischief to be more lethal next time~~

Oh so she call the feds first? hehehehhe

OHIO MENTIONED! IT HURTS TO BE THIS HIP

OOOHHHH ACCUSATIONS OF AFFAIRS~~

i love intentional animation inconsistencies uwu

OH NO ITS NOT SUNDAY OR HOLIDAYS!!!!!!

funny pose, and she's default posing lol, its kinda like the t-pose of flash/vector/2D animaion ;v

and the idea of having the idiot clone killed by their own idiocy is brilliant! BUt... his moment is over! a self contained story, what will happen next~?

oh so the sachel bleeds huh..... yknow itd be a lot funnier if humans didnt bleed but inanimate objects did, a bit of absurdist humor~~

lol suspect

Yaayyy Joan is part of the group and has friends and one of them is Topher, super important :D!

Rating: an aight start ^^/10!

Topher Bus has appeared on screen for 1:23 minutes (I'm not counting recaps or the intro)

#clone high #liveblogging #clone high season 3 #so im actually not good at counting time so its aprox actually haha

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variousqueerthings · 1 year

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okok final thoughts about the movie after all that:

1. pleased to have watched it, despite my laundry list of criticisms

2. I didn’t think any of it was comedic in the gallows humour sense I assume it was going for. that may be an effect of ageing, but then, mash 1974- is frequently excellent at this, including and especially in its first seasons

3. read that there was a subplot that happened after the movie has ho-jon getting conscripted by the south korean army (after which in the film we never see him again, and I think that was the most “oh, this isn’t my hawkeye” moment actually, because he kinda just goes “dammit” and then it cuts to something else, and that’s it), in which he’s killed and his body comes through the 4077th, and I think that would have been better in the context of what I think the movie wanted to do?

4. I do get a bit lost in the movie’s intentions, I confess. is it war is hell and so we become worse people? is it surreal antics in the face of serious conflict? is it related to the military really? is it that this is just what it was like? none of it really... slots into place for me, because there’s a bits that dispute every one of these, and mainly I guess I just don’t see what apparently a bunch of reviewers saw

5. the roger ebert review at the time: “There is something about war that inspires practical jokes and the heroes ... are inspired and utterly heartless ... We laugh, ... because it is so true to the unadmitted sadist in all of us. There is perhaps nothing so exquisite as achieving ... sweet mental revenge against someone we hate with particular dedication. And it is the flat-out, poker-faced hatred in "M*A*S*H" that makes it work. ... We laugh, that we may not cry ... We can take the unusually high gore-level in "M*A*S*H" because it is originally part of the movie's logic. If the surgeons didn't have to face the daily list of maimed and mutilated bodies, none of the rest of their lives would make any sense ... One of the reasons "M*A*S*H" is so funny is that it's so desperate.”

6. I get confused about how a lot of the reviews discussed it in the context of war, when for me I felt like the Korean war was almost totally absent (in practicality as well as in feeling), apart from the occasional nuisance it caused the characters. maybe for its time it was very gory/very real/very desperate, but I don’t see it today -- the imdb also states that “the staff of a Korean War field hospital use humor and high jinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of war,” and I was just there wondering... what war? horrific to whom? and it’s not like war films in which war is very present hadn’t been made before this, but perhaps just not in really in America. the very idea of challenging the American military logic even a little may have been a breath of fresh air?

7. altman called the book racist and pretty terrible, but apparently the movie doesn’t deviate much from it, which is... interesting

8. I can see why this was a hit when it came out. I just feel such a visceral shudder at it watching it now, that it’s hard to even judge it on the merits of the time in which it came out

9. on that note, I am once again fascinated by the intentions going into the show. the pilot episode especially certainly has more movie DNA in it than the rest, but the casting immediately created different tensions, especially of course alan alda, but also wayne rogers, larry linville, and of course loretta swit. the fact that they’re setting up recurring characters also gives them more of a depth -- you know that things will happen and shift and change, whereas in the movie the point is the aimless drift from thing to thing

10. actually the aimless drifting + loudspeaker interludes were my favourite parts of the film -- my least favourite thing (structurally, otherwise it would be the misogyny) is the football match at the end, which was... odd. dull. if there was an absence of war before that, it totally disappeared for a substantial amount of runtime to just show this flipping football thing happening

11. how many of the hijinks from the movie/book were in the show -- I’m going to make a separate post for that

#im watching movies #im watching mash (1970)

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protagonistheavy · 6 months

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Not that I ever expected greatness but the FNAF movie sucked on multiple levels. Even if you try to squint and give some generosity to the production, i feel like the direction itself is just flawed to its base.

Most importantly I feel like all the charm and appeal of FNAF is entirely lost here. The movie simple isnt scary at ANY point and leans more as a suspense-comedy than anything else. There's no horror of basically any magnitude. The restaurant quickly loses any sense of creepiness as we get so accustomed with the limited set and rarely get to see anything that made the original restaurant in FNAF so unsettling; the animatronics look way too good and function way more like a regular robots to actually scare anyone, way too much emotion from them -- on top of the fact that we get very familiar with them as characters. They don't use compelling angles enough to sell the creepy-animatronic factor, and we dont see them in regular action to ever get that feeling of "oh god, these corpse robots are interacting with people."

There's basically no gore except cuts, only one James Bond-style death trap, and a VERY campy silhouette death. There is so much potential in this factor, all the gears and machinery that could be used to create horrible situations... but none of that is properly utilized. Violent engagements with the animatronics are just a matter of a guy in a suit pushing other people around. The most violence you get is the fucking cupcake toy, which is just a straight up ghoulie I guess, it's the only competent threat in the movie and is way overused.

But then on top of all this........... get this, there really isn't enough jumpscares in this movie. Which is so fucked up! It's normally too easy for movies to include too many jumpscares... but here, there's such a disappointing lack of them. Jumpscares is so much what FNAF is, if any movie was gonna have too many jumpscares and get away with it, this is the one!! And yet we only get three in the entire movie, including a mid-credits scene, and they're ALL THE SAME GAG. Ugh! The animatronics are supposed to be surprising and hard to see, not henchmen for a Batman villain.

And then the comedy, of which there is too much of, just doesnt normally hit. I giggled more at just the fact that I was watching a FNAF movie than I did at any intentional gag. And this sucks so much too because humor is also a key part to the FNAF feeling, how so many times it can surprise you with such a good joke, or refresh you after a scare by providing something funny in between. That just isnt present here, you just get regular old Hollywood humor, at best it's a "so bad its funny" kind of humor.

Finally, the movie tries too hard to cram in every good idea FNAF ever had into one plotline, and the result is a plotline that makes no sense -- not with the FNAF lore, and not even with its own self. You will be left with so many dumb questions that have no good answers, and even more if youre a fan of the series. Characters are completely different from their inspirations, their motivations are even more whack as hell. It's like the director read a summary of deep FNAF lore and just figured shoving every idea into one plot would be spooky and cover all their bases, but it just makes a jumbled mess of a plot with characters you never give a shit about, in a world that makes little sense and does little to draw you in.

Funny enough, I happened to watch Willy's Wonderland in the background at a party the night before, and even though I wasnt even watching it completely, I have to admit that movie just seemed more compelling than FNAF. It had a protagonist I wanted to learn about, mysteries that keep you wondering, humor that was ridiculous enough to make me laugh more sincerely, and animatronics that frankly had a spookier appeal to them, in a premise that was much more engaging. In some ways, Willy's is even truer to the spirit of FNAF, albeit with Nic Cage action sequences; there's at least a better attempt at conveying a complete story, and it does more to create spooks and frights with the setting. I really loved in Willy's the scenes where Nic Cage is cleaning the place, I love the attention to detail -- which gets you engrossed with the setting, makes you feel like youre there, convinces you it was indeed a happy place once before becoming tarnished. Im definitely thinking waaay more of Willy's than I am of FNAF lol.

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