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mothfables · 7 months

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I. Getting Together

[Legend and Ravio have a quick moment of individual angst in this, but that’s because they’re both silly and dramatic when they really don’t need to be. It’s entirely their own fault but it’s resolved quickly, don’t worry]

“So... how did you two get together?”

The question comes from Wind one night when they’re all gathered together in Legend’s living room. They’re cozy and warm, stomachs pleasantly full and the fire crackling merrily in the hearth.

Legend goes slightly pink at the question and glances away. Ravio, curled up next to him on the couch, gives a snorting little laugh that has his partner smiling fondly. The interaction has Wind leaning forwards, his interest piqued. The others do too, intruiged at the opportunity to learn something new about their infamously closed-off Veteran.

The hero in question groans, tipping his head back to thunk against the back of the couch. “Do you have to tell them?”

Ravio snort-giggles again. He sends a bright grin at his partner, who seems to be making a concentrated effort to avoid looking at anyone in the room. Wind’s grin goes sharp - he senses an opportunity for teasing in the future.

“It isn’t that embarrassing, dear,” Ravio consoles. Legend grumbles, glaring at the ceiling. The action has Ravio shuffling to lay a hand on his shoulder. “Do you really not want me to tell them?”

There’s some more grumbling before Legend heaves a sigh. “No, no... It’s fine. I don’t mind.” He lifts his head up to smile fondly at the merchant.

“Only if you’re sure-”

“It’s fine, Ravi. Go ahead.”

“Alright then.” Ravio leans up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before settling against him again. Legend goes back to not looking at anyone, to Wind’s amusement. “So we’d actually been living together for a while already...”

~~~~~~~~~

“Link? Could... could I talk to you about something?”

Link blinked, pausing in his work at Ravio’s hesitant voice. Turning away from where he was hunched over his desk he saw his roommate hovering anxiously in the bedroom doorway. For some reason, Sheerow was nowhere to be seen.

“...Ravi? What’s up?” Ravio went slightly pink at the nickname but moved closer. Link realized the other boy was picking at his sleeves; a nervous habit he could never seem to kick. He’d never admit out loud that he found it cute.

“S-so, um, I know we’ve er- I know we’ve been, uh- roommates for a while now,” the merchant started. “And I was- um. I was thinking about some things, and...” One hand drifted towards his hood, the way it did when he was especially nervous. Link felt a twinge of worry in his gut. What did Ravio have to be nervous about? Had he done something? Had Link done something? Did-did Ravi not want to be roommates anymore? Link had thought things had been going well; sure, he wasn’t the best at communicating how he felt, and he knew he tended to be grumpy at the best of times, and his habit of hoarding collecting things clashed with Ravio’s need to sell them, but they’d both been working on setting boundaries and communicating their needs and he’d thought that’d been going well-

Link hadn’t realized he’d started spiraling until he felt Ravio’s hands on his cheeks, snapping him out of it. Rupee-green eyes met his own, shining with concern. Shit- he’d made Ravio worried; he hated doing that. It left a cold pit in his chest for hours after.

“Link, hey, look at me,” Ravio soothed, his thumbs caressing pale cheeks. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to talk. It’s nothing bad, I promise.” Link realized the other boy’s hands were trembling. He could feel his own doing the same where he’d unconsciously pulled them to his chest. He nodded.

Ravio let go of his face (Link had to bite back a sad sound at the loss) to gently grab his hands and lead the both of them to the bed. Once they were situated, the purple-clad boy took a deep breath.

“O-okay. I guess I, um, could have worded that a little better.” He gave a small, huffing laugh before taking another breath. Link squeezed his hands in an attempt at comfort and was rewarded with an answering squeeze. “It’s just- I realized, recently, that I- That I like you. A lot. But- I don’t- It’s not-” He stopped, chewing his lip as he searched for the words. “It’s not... romantic, I think. At least not completely? I mean, I like being around you, and going to the market with you, and taking care of the orchard and the shop and the house with you... I like cuddling with you, and baking, and holding your hand-”

Ravio kept talking, rambling in the way Link had grown to find endearing, but he had stopped listening. His mind was reeling. The words kept replaying in his memory- ‘I like you. A lot. But it’s not romantic.’ His chest felt suddenly tight.

He stood abruptly, cutting Ravio off. “I-I-I... I need to- uh- gimme a minute,” he stammered, trying not to flinch at the hurt on Ravio’s face. He stumbled toward the door, fumbling for the knob and wrenching it open. Link staggered down the hall, barely aware of where he was going- just that he needed to be away- until he reached a room that felt suitably far. He hurriedly slipped inside before collapsing against the door.

Link buried his head in his hands. Distantly, he realized they were shaking again- no, all of him was. His heart stuttered and skipped as he frantically tried to process what he’d heard.

‘I like you. Not romantically.’

There was no way. Ravio really-? But he’d thought, after Marin- He shook his head harshly to rid himself of the thought. Did Ravi really feel the same way?

He’d known he felt differently about the merchant than he did about Marin her; not at first, no, but over time what initially began as a tentative friendship became something softer, deeper, more comfortable than Link had ever felt with anybody.

‘I like you. Not romantically.’

He hadn’t known anybody else could feel the same way. He hadn’t known Ravio- Link knew what romantic feelings felt like, but this was... different. In a way he couldn’t quite explain.

Link groaned into his hands.

~~~~~~~~~ Ravio was still sitting on the bed where Link had left him, trying to get over the hurt that had bloomed in his chest at the other boy’s abrupt departure. His heart twinged but he did his best to ignore it, taking a deep breath before leaning forwards and putting his head in his hands. His eyes stung with tears.

It’s fine. Okay, well- maybe not fine but I guess I should have expected this. You know Link doesn’t take surprises like this well; you should have done it differently... Maybe I shouldn’t have told him at all-

His deprecating train of thought was cut off by a sudden shout of “FUCK!!!” ringing though the house. Sheerow shrieked her displeasure downstairs as Ravio startled upright. The sound was followed by a thundering of footsteps before Link reappeared in the doorway to the bedroom. His face was a concerning mix of flushed and pale as he stumbled toward the bed, grasping Ravio’s hands with his own trembling ones.

“L-link? What-?”

“Ravi, I’m sorry, I-” Link cut himself off, his expression an odd mix of desperate and frustrated. “When you said- You like me, right? I think... Um. I know what romantic love feels like and this isn’t- I don’t feel that way about you.” Whatever expression Ravio was making had him panicking, scrambling to explain. “I don’t- It’s not that I don’t like you, Rav, I-I do! Um, a lot. Like you said. It’s just... I thought about it, and I realized I don’t feel this way about anyone else.”

Link bit his lip, looking like he was about to cry before heaving a sigh and leaning forward to drop his head onto Ravio’s shoulder. The merchant immediately disentangled their hands (his heart panging at the upset sound Link made) to wrap his arms around his shoulders, drawing him closer. Link all but collapsed against him, letting out a shaky sigh.

“‘m sorry,” he mumbled into his shoulder. “I’m trying to- no matter what I say I can’t explain it right.” Ravio hummed to reassure him he was listening. He ran his hands along the other boy’s back in a soothing manner, feeling him melt at the touch. “I didn’t... I didn’t think anyb’dy else felt this way. But then you said- A-and it made me realize maybe I’m not the only one who feels that way an’... It freaked me out. Th’t’s why I ran. I shouldn’t’ve. ‘m sorry I did; that wasn’t fair to you.”

Ravio felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. His Mr. Hero felt the same way? He’d hoped, sure, but he hadn’t actually expected the hero to share his feelings. Something the other boy said stuck out to him, though, drawing a frown to his face.

“Link?” There was an answering hum. “When you said you didn’t think anybody else felt the way you do... Can I ask what you meant by that?”

Link went still for a moment, making Ravio worry that he’d accidentally made the hero shut down. Then suddenly he was curling closer, fisting his hands in Ravio’s robes and bringing his legs up to his chest - like he was trying to hide. He took a shuddering breath.

“Ev’rybody talks about romance, an’ how it feels, an’ stuff you’re s’pposed to do with your partner, but I don’t feel any of that. O-or, um, not most of it. Not with you. I don’ want to do any of what they talk about, either. The stuff we do... I like doing those things, cuddlin’ a-an’ holding hands an’ going to the market t’gether. I just don’t-” His breath hitched. “I don’t want that to change.”

Ravio cooed, pressing his face to golden hair. “I don’t want it to change either,” he assured. “Coming in here, telling you, that wasn’t my intention. I just wanted you to know.” Link sniffled against his shoulder. “I like us just the way we are.” He pressed a soft kiss to the head beneath his cheek.

Link’s voice was quiet when he replied, “...I do too.”

The two of them sat quietly for a few minutes before shifting so that Ravio lay propped against the headboard with Link curled against his chest.

“Hey, Ravi?”

“Yes?”

“Should we start calling each other somethin’ now? Or, um, us?”

Ravio blinked, slightly surprised by the question, before taking a moment to think about it. “What, like ‘boyfriends?’” He felt Link grimace. “You’re right, that doesn’t feel quite right. What do you think?”

Link hummed as he mulled it over. “There’s too much... expectation, I think. Also I don’ like how it feels. What about... Hmm.”

Ravio held his roommate (only they weren’t just roommates anymore, were they? He felt giddy at the thought.) as he thought it over. He felt more than heard Link mumbling against his chest as he went through options, considering and discarding each of them in turn. Finally he gave a short ‘hm!’ and glanced up to see Ravio gazing down at him with soft eyes. His cheeks went pink.

“What d’you think about partner?”

Ravio’s chest warmed and he felt his face stretch into a beaming smile. “I think that sounds perfect.”

Link beamed back at him.

~~~~~~~~~ Back in the living room, Ravio blinks out of what Legend likes to call his ‘storytelling persona’ to find a roomful of heroes watching him with soft expressions. Sky in particular looks the most visibly affected by the story, with Time not far behind. Right, they both had partners of their own. Hyrule has his head propped on his arms, which are resting on a pillow he’d snagged earlier, as he sprawls on the floor. He’s smiling at Legend, delighted.

Wind suddenly lets out an ‘Aawww!’ that makes half of them jump. Legend flushes red, bringing his hands up to hide his face and narrowly avoiding smacking Ravio by accident. The merchant’s own cheeks are similarly dark, but he simply pats his partner on the chest with a smile.

“Yes, it was rather sweet in the end, wasn’t it, darling?”

Legend groans into his hands as everyone laughs.

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scificrows · 8 months

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i like to make fun of murderbot for being all "i hate everyone, i don't care about anything or anyone, fuck off" while simultaneously caring very much about the people around it and the situations it finds itself in. i love how it "accidentally" ends up caring quite a lot about the friends it makes along the way. but i think something that i tend to forget is that murderbot actively decides to care - at least at some point in its story.

idk, as a person that struggles with depression, this paragraph from artificial condition really resonates with me. prior to all systems red, murderbot had contracts. it had routine and it had protocols. it knew what it had to do to just get by, how to perform so no one would notice it had disabled its governor module. it was deeply depressed, yes, but it was functioning (for lack of a better word). in artificial condition, murderbot's routine is gone. it cannot go on in that state of numbly going-from-contract-to-contract, putting in as little effort as possible, consuming media to cope. that option is gone because it escaped (and note that escaping the company was not an active choice, it kinda happened to it). murderbot has two options now: it can either gather all its energy; actively do something new and difficult and distressing; change something in its life and try. or it can let the numbness and the emptiness take over and stop trying. if murderbot wants to survive as a rogue secunit, it has to try. no matter how difficult that is. the wording in that paragraph really hits home for me. the way the non-caring sees an opportunity to slip in and to take over. does murderbot even care? does anything really matter? is anything really worth the hassle? wouldn't it be so much easier to just let your mind slip away a little, to go numb, to be passive, to watch media and wait for things to happen to you? wouldn't it be nice to stop thinking and struggling and feeling complicated things? to stop making an effort? you've been dealing with a lot lately and maybe it's time to just shut down. maybe you'll just take a little break. just slip deeper into this chair and start the show. time flies when you're not paying attention. trying is exhausting. who cares if you don't do the things you wanted to do, you were supposed to do. it'll be fine. let's just ignore those things for now. just let the non-caring take over. just stop thinking. you can deal with the aftermath later. just watch your shows. who cares. but murderbot cares. it decides to care. it decides to fight with all it has and i think that is so brave. and i think in the later books caring is less of an active decision for murderbot. once you start caring, it's easier to keep going than to stop; and murderbot, for all its "i'm a grumpy rogue secunit, leave me alone" behavior, knows just how important caring is. so it's not that it doesn't know what's happening; rather, it lets itself care. tl;dr: caring is not the default for murderbot, it's just the more difficult of two options. and it decides not to take the soft option. it decides to struggle. it decides to care. and so it does.

#sorry i'm rambling i'm a little depressed rn (hah) and i've been thinking about murderbot again #at least writing this got me out of the adhd/depression paralysis :) yeah this might be self-indulgent so what #the murderbot diaries #murderbot #𓄿 #i just love martha wells' writing for things like that #and i love murderbot as a character so very much #also i'm pretty sure some of this could be read in a way i did not intend #i'm not trying to say that depressed people have the option to just not be depressed #or that it's as easy as going “okay well i can either care or not care... i guess i should care! done!”#listen i know it's not like that; i know that first hand #but murderbot had just enough energy and fight in it to try and it had people in its life that cared about it and helped it #and it managed to get out of that deep dark hole #and we see it struggling with trauma etc in the later books #things are not magically better #just yeah #okay imma add #tw depression #tw suicide #(this is not about suicide though; this is about sitting on the couch while the dishes and the laundry pile up #and watching netflix because getting up and taking care of yourself and calling a friend or going outside are too difficult)#(but i can see how this might hit a little close to home if that is something someone's struggling with&better safe than sorry)#also sending lots of love to everyone who this resonates with

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