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cupcakeslushie · 3 hours
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“did you ever have a moment realizing you’re loved?” • this scene has been on my mind since the conception of LM. you’ll see this scene and its context soon~ it just means a lot to me and is one i revisit a lot for comfort uwu✨️ • ( 🌿 please do NOT repost, edit, trace, use, and/or sell 😴 )
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cupcakeslushie · 4 hours
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Where do you get the motivation to make the comics that you do hot damn
Aw, I just really love this fandom, and the show gave us so much to work with that unfortunately, we didn’t get to explore!
I do get kinda burned out sometimes. A pretty bad, 2 month art block finally feels like it’s starting to pass…
Sometimes I get so tired, that I have nothing left in the idea well, and I’m just running in circles by pushing myself. When this happens, I’ll force myself to take a break—sometimes work on other creative endeavors, outside of tumblr. If I don’t step away, I can get stuck in this stupid perfectionist spiral, where nothing I make is satisfying anymore.
I think I’ve just learned over time, what’s a necessary growth road bump to be pushed through, and what’s actually my body, telling me it needs a breather.
But also seeing all the cool art/edits/writing/etc the fandom have done can often inspire me to get back to it! And a ton of motivation comes from reading tags/notes left on my posts or in my ask box! It’s always a nice thing to see—even if I’m creating the stuff that I, myself like seeing—it’s not as though that extra bit of positive feedback doesn’t factor into my motivation level! I’d still create stuff, but probably not nearly as quickly, or as much, before moving onto another interest.
I think the fact that I’ve remained motivated to stay creating in this fandom, speaks a lot to the quality of the show, and the fans. There’s of course some…less than polite ppl, that could treat creators with a bit more kindness (👁️👄👁️). But I’m very lucky in that, I’ve personally, never felt so welcome and included in a space. I luv my buds in the discord Council, who are all constantly bouncing ideas off each other, and hype-man-ing it up. And so many creators whom I respect, will send positive feedback my way. I’ve never had all that before, as a chronic lurker in other fandoms. It’s all just having too much fun to stop!
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cupcakeslushie · 15 hours
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Leo Arc part 7
Prev || Next
Leo confronts the reality he’s been hiding from for too long.
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cupcakeslushie · 1 day
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Monday is my birthday thank you so much for the gift!
Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 🎉🎊🎉
I hope it’s a ton of fun!
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cupcakeslushie · 1 day
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The answer to your problems is self-discipline
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cupcakeslushie · 1 day
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And now we’ve got Raph and April! And even a little Splinter and April. You really highlighted how they were a little family trio, that grew and grew! And now the whole family is together and gelling (but oooo there might be a Venus part?! 👀👀)
Thank you for this series! Each part has been such a fun read!
Broken Brothers (and How to Fix Them)
Part 4 ❤️ | Part 1 <- 🧡 | Part 2 <- 💙| Part 3 <- 💜
Note: This story is based on @cupcakeslushie 's Empyrean Weeping au. These characters are not my own, and this story is in no way canon to the main story. I wrote this as my love letter to the story and the characters. Especially April :)
Tags: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, ROTTMNT, Raph & April, April & the Turtles, Splinter's there too, NOT MY CHARACTERS, Empyrean Weeping AU, guilt, talking it out because we're adults, basketball(???), turtle pile(!!!)
Warnings (if there's anything I should add here, tell me please!): yelling, small physical injury
Words: 3,015 (i may be insane🤪)
Summary: April was able to figure out her first brother easily. Now, she gets three more, with a couple more issues to worry about.
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When Splinter told her where Raph was, April couldn't help but want to go home. To leave. To act like she didn't know.
But that isn't what big sisters do.
So, instead, like the brave pre-teen she was, she went to the dojo. She went to the shrine, where Raph was already kneeling. She paid her respects (for as long as a hyperactive kid could) to those kids she had never met.
“Do you think I would have been a good big brother?” Raph asked, staring at the family photo in front of him. One of the only remnants he and his father had of his little brothers. 
“You are a good big brother,” April responded without hesitation. “You're still looking for them, aren't you?”
“...well, yeah…”
“Then you're being the best big brother that you can be!”
Raph rubbed his knuckles. “But, what if, when we find them, I don't know how to be a big brother? Maybe I won't want to be a big brother then…”
“You can just follow my lead!” April said, puffing out her chest. “I'm already the best big sister, aren't I?”
“Course you are!” Raph said. “But I can't do everything you can do, y’know?”
“Like what?” April asked suspiciously.
“Like…” Raph pondered. “Like putting your hair up! Raph ain't got no hair.”
“Hmm…” April rubbed her chin in thought. “True. But you don't need to do your big brother-ing exactly like I do my big sister-ing. You do Raph! Besides, who cares about hair when you do have the cutest, coolest, most spikiest shell ever in the whole world!”
The girl hopped on Raph's back, climbing on his spikes and tickling under his armpits in just the right spots, leaving both of them laughing blobs on the floor.
Raph was going to be the best big brother ever. April just knew it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“DONNIE! GET DOWN FROM THERE!”
“NOW I WILL BE THE BALL!”
“NO!”
“I MEANT B-BALL DON, NOT- JUST LISTEN TO RAPH!”
Mikey’s hand wandered over to April’s fries, trying to snag one without looking away from the action in front of him. April decided to help him and angled the box so he could grab one.
Donnie had somehow managed to get himself on top of the basketball hoop, with one foot hooked over the backboard, one entangled in the net, and both of his hands wrapped around the hoop itself. Both Raph and Leo were beneath him with their hands up, ready to catch him when he inevitably fell. It was amazing he hadn’t already, honestly.
“April, tell him to get down!” Raph begged, shooting the bystanders in the stands a sideways glance.
“He doesn’t listen to me,” she responded helpfully. “He’s your little brother.”
“At this point, I don’t think he knows how to get down,” Mikey added from his spot on the bleachers. “You might have to cut his foot loose.”
“What do you mean?” Donnie asked, scoffing. “I can get myself down from this contraption just fine!”
Mikey smirked, squinting his eyes. “Prove it.”
Donnie unhooked his leg from the backboard behind him and tried to jump forward, only to discover that he had, in fact, tangled his foot a little worse than expected. He yelped when all of his body weight was suddenly put onto the small space of his ankle as his body inverted. Raph and Leo rushed up to help him down, but found that they could only push him up to lessen the pressure from him dangling. 
Raph’s eyes were blown wide. “What do we- MIKEY! DO SOMETHING!”
April and Mikey both came up quickly, and Mikey clambered up Raph’s shell. He pulled a small pocket knife from his hoodie and started sawing at the net while Donnie winced and flailed. Eventually, they got him down, and April could feel the collective relief across the brothers.
Today was supposed to be an easy day. Go out to the surface, pick up some fast food, and show the boys how to properly play basketball. For the most part, it was an easy day. But of course, it couldn’t stay easy. Stupid turtle luck and all. So when Leo just happened to say the wrong thing for Donnie to misconstrue, it all fell apart.
“What were you thinking?!” Raph shouted, looking at Donnie on the ground who was massaging his irritated ankle. “You could have gotten seriously hurt! You did get seriously hurt! I warned you!”
“Chill out, Raph.” Leo tried to place himself between the two. “It's not that serious. No need to get your mask in a twist-”
“Not that serious?” Raph got up in Leo’s face. “You’re telling me it’s not that serious?! You were just as worried as I was!”
Leo pushed Raph’s plastron lightly. “Yeah, when he was dangling from a basketball net. Now he’s on the floor, and it’s fine.”
“We’re all good, bro!” Mikey sat down next to Donnie, looking at the injury himself. “Yeesh, that is not pretty, though…”
April was starting to feel like she wasn’t supposed to be here for this conversation.
“All good?!” Raph stomped on the ground, leaving a small crack on the court. “If we hadn't caught him, he could have broken his leg, or smashed his skull open! If we weren’t here, he could have just sat here, waiting for some human to find him! What happens then?!”
April tried to step forward. “Raph, you need to calm down.”
Donnie looked up with pitiful eyes. “I'm sorry, Raph, I didn't-”
“WHY DON'T YOU GUYS EVER LISTEN TO ME?!”
Raph threw his hands up, only to freeze when he looked down.
Mikey had his hand firmly in his hoodie pocket, ready to take out his pocket knife again. Leo had readied himself into a defensive position, one he had practiced many times in the dojo. Donnie held his arms braced in front of his face, neck turned away, ready for impact.
Donnie's eyes were clenched shut, but Mikey and Leo kept theirs trained on the threat.
The threat.
The threat.
Raph's breath got shaky, and he stepped back slowly. His eyes kept darting across the brothers beneath him. He picked up his pace and hurried out of the basketball court, walking with purpose down the sidewalk under the New York moonlight.
April walked up next to the boys on the ground. Leo looked at her, with despair and guilt in his eyes. “April, we didn't…”
“I'll find him,” she promised. “You boys just stay here, alright? If anybody walks by, put your hoods up. Sound good?”
The brothers nodded solemnly, and April hurried to catch up with the eldest. 
The New York streets were, thankfully, empty due to how late it was. The only lights showing now were the light of the moon, the stars, and the streetlights. The air felt thick, but April couldn’t tell if that was because it was humid or because of the nervousness she felt. April was able to see the large form of the snapper quickly moving down the sidewalk. She jogged to catch up, only for Raph to turn and start scaling a nearby apartment building.
The turtle got up to the roof quickly because of course he did, he's been training as a ninja his whole life. April sighed and strained her neck up to where he had vanished. “You know I'm not good at this stuff, right?!” She called up, not expecting a response. Sighing in defeat, she moved toward the fire escape.
She scaled up, having to toss herself up when she reached the top level, and hefted up onto the roof. After recollecting her breath, she looked up to see Raph curled in a ball in the far corner of the rooftop. His arms were wrapped around his legs, knees held close to his chest. He had his beak stuffed down, hiding his face, with the hood of his hoodie haphazardly covering his neck and the back of his head.
April settled down silently next to him.
His breaths were deep, but they had a relatively normal pace. April wasn't worried about that. She was beginning to worry about how deeply he was shoving his face down. She rested a hand on his arm softly, ready to pull away if she needed.
“...did you see their faces?”
April almost missed the whisper. “Raph?”
“Their faces, April,” Raph sighed, lifting his face to reveal his reddened eyes. “There was so much fear in their faces. They… they were scared, April. They were scared of me.”
He choked back a sob. “They were scared of me, April! They thought I was gonna hurt them! Little brothers don't get scared of big brothers! Big brothers are supposed to keep their little brothers safe!”
He placed his chin on his knees, looking blankly into the air. “Raph ain't no big brother. I just… ain't built for it. They deserve more than what they got.”
April put a hand on the side of Raph's face, making sure he was looking at her. “Do you want a hug, big man?”
Without hesitation, Raph wrapped his bulky arms around April's much smaller body. April knew he was holding back, but the squeeze around her core was still strong. She didn't mind.
Over her shoulder, she heard the whimpering voice of her little brother say, “...why can't I do this?”
April rubbed the turtle's spiky shell through the hoodie he was wearing. The spikes were threatening to poke through the fabric. “You're still learning how to be a big brother. Just like they're learning how to be little brothers.”
“If I had done something, maybe they… m-maybe they wouldn't have gotten hurt. I-if I'd stepped up as a big brother, maybe none of this…”
Raph's breath hitched as his tears started to fall.
“...you're not talking about the hoop anymore… are you?”
Raph squeezed her tighter, rubbing his face on her shoulder.
“None of that was your fault, Raphael. You were a kid.”
“I was supposed to protect them, April!”
“Maybe you were. Maybe that's what you should have done, and you didn't. But you can't change that now.”
Raph leaned back, and April wiped a tear from his face. Only one; she didn't dare wipe them all. He needed this.
“You can't beat yourself up because of things you didn't do. That's not what big brothers do.” April lifted his chin, just a bit. “What big brothers do is help get through the aftermath. You have to be there for your little brothers when they need you. And sometimes, they have to learn things the hard way. It's your job to make sure they truly learn, and heal.”
Raph leaned into April's palm. “I don't know if I'm all cut out for being a big brother anymore, Apes.”
April huffed through her nose. “Well, that's too bad.”
“What?”
“You don't get a choice no more, Raphie. You wanted to be their big brother. Now they need their big brother. So either you leave your baby brothers without a big brother to take care of them, or you tough it out and make them feel loved.” April lightly punched Raph's shoulder. “I didn't put all this effort in for nothing, either. I'm trying to be a big sister too. And with brothers like yours, it ain't easy.”
“Mikey's easy,” Raph laughed.
“Sometimes, maybe, but other times, he's a perfectionist and a doormat! And Leo's always got a stick up his butt, and don't even get me started on Donnie!”
“Hey!” Raph shoved April's shoulder back. “Don't be talking about my little brothers that way.”
“And there's that big brother.” April smiled, patting his arm. “It's like you don't even have to try.”
“Well,” Raph said, grabbing April's hand to hold, “I learned from the best.”
April's chest puffed proudly, and she pulled Raph in for one more hug.
The sweet moment was interrupted by April's ringtone coming from her back pocket. She pulled her phone out and answered Mikey's call.
“Hello?”
“Hey April! Did you find Raph?”
April looked at Raph in front of her, then back at her phone. “Yeah, I found him.”
“Sweet! Well, uh, we were going to just head back to the lair, and you guys can meet us there? I think there's a Lou Jitsu movie, a bowl of ice cream, and a turtle pile with Raph's name on it. If he wants it, of course! And I think I can convince Pops to get in on it too…”
Raph met April's eyes, then inched closer to speak into the phone himself.
“I'll hold you to that, big man.”
Mikey immediately cheered up on the other end of the phone at the sound of his big brother's voice, and April handed Raph the phone so they could talk. She sat back and watched Raph apologize to Mikey, all while smiling and promising the biggest hugs he could possibly give.
He had grown so much. Physically, that was obvious. But ever since his little brothers came back into his life, April had seen Raph grow as a person. He was better for it. He was stronger for it. Because now, he had something to protect.
Raph was going to be the best big brother ever. April just knew it.
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Apologies were given, ice cream was eaten, and Lou Jitsu movies were watched. The four brothers were left sleeping in a pile of limbs and bean bags, and it was the happiest sight April had seen in months. Raph at the base, with his arms wrapped around Donnie and Leo at his sides, and Mikey tucked into a ball on Raph's plastron. Each of them, just a picture of bliss.
Splinter had gotten up to make tea, which he had done quite easily with his ninja dexterity. April, on the other hand, had struggled for a full 3 minutes to get out from her wedge between Leo and Raph without waking them. It was worth it, anyhow. Even if just to see the brothers like this. (And to talk with Splinter, but the boys being cute took priority.)
The rat filled his absurdly skull shaped kettle with water and began boiling it. He turned around to see April and smiled. “Would you like a cup?” he asked softly.
“Sure!” April affirmed. “I'd love that.”
The tea brewed, and the two enjoyed each other's company in silence. April had never felt quite as close to an adult other than her parents as she did with Splinter. And sure, he was a giant rat man who often did strange things like singing to get his back popped into place and bragging about how hot he was in his past, but he was one of the kindest people April knew. Human or not. And coolest, of course. He was a ninja warrior, what did you expect?
Once their cups were filled, they returned to the living room. April sat on Splinter's couch, while Splinter himself stood to the side. Both looked at the slumbering turtles as they sipped their tea.
“Thank you.”
April looked down at Splinter, whose eyes were filled with pride. “Me? Why?”
“They would have never been like this without your help. Usagi's and Cassandra's as well, but especially yours. It is because of you that they can be so peaceful like this.”
“A rare sight,” April snickered.
“Yes,” Splinter agreed wistfully. “When you have four teenage boys, you learn to appreciate moments like this.”
April looked fondly at the rat, then at the boys, with a strange fullness in her chest. A familial feeling. One growing stronger by the day.
“You have done more than help them,” Splinter continued. “You have encouraged me to come into my role as their father. You have reminded me, time and time again, that I am their father, and I must act as such.”
“‘Reminded’?” April teased. “You don't need reminding. You're, like, the best dad ever. No offense to my actual dad.”
Splinter laughed, a smaller version of that hearty, old man laugh he had. Quiet enough not to disturb his sons.
“I'm serious! You should get some sorta reward for this. Maybe a plaque- ‘World's Best Father Who Got Turned into a Giant Rat and Accidentally Got Four Impromptu Turtle Sons’.”
“Oh, April.” Splinter placed his small hand on April's arm, looking over at his sons with shining eyes. “I have my reward.”
April fought laughter at the cheesy remark, but she kept silent. The rat put his empty cup down and climbed back into the turtle pile, carefully nestling back into the perfectly sized space between Raph's plastron and Mikey's. Even in his sleep, Mikey's arm instinctively curled around his father.
April suddenly felt a wave of fulfillment in her core. A feeling that told her she had done something right. That she had truly made a positive impact on something.
And maybe that something was a family of mutants. Four boys forced to grow up too soon and a father with haunting memories in his mind.
They weren't perfect. They never would be. Not with the hand they got. But, even so, they were trying. They were improving. That was all April could ask of them.
Some things would never be fixed. In certain ways, her brothers would always be broken.
They just needed someone to help carry them when they shattered. 
April finished her tea, placed her cup next to Splinter’s, then stepped as quietly as she could to return to her place in the pile. Donnie scrunched up and rubbed his face at the disturbance, but fortunately didn't wake. When he calmed back down, he placed his cheek on the crest of Mikey's shell contentedly, drooling just a bit.
As April settled back in, Leo rubbed his face in her hair. Raph churred softly at the feeling of pressure returning to his chest. All of the mutants let out a calm breath as their bundle became complete once more.
She was always happy to pick up the broken pieces, especially if they brought her warmth like this.
○●○●○●○
Behold, the finale. 8,776 words total. I had to rewrite some parts of this a couple times to get it right. Originally, I was just going to end it with Raph agreeing to go home, but that didn't feel like a proper way to wrap up this whole story. And with the lack of Splinter throughout, I figured that last scene would be the perfect way to wrap it up. 🐀
Shout out to @cupcakeslushie again. The EW comic was actually the thing that finally made me get a tumblr account instead of watching from the sidelines. Now I get to enjoy one of the coolest communities ever, thanks to that. Thank you, slushie <3
(also, i may or may not have something for venus in the works,,👀🩵)
I plan on writing more @tmntaucompetition propaganda stuff while the comp is going on. There are so many skrungly aus i want to get my little paws in,,,, But after that, ive got some aus of my own that i cant wait to share!
Check out the tmnt au comp, follow EW (THE NEXT PART OF THE LEO ARC COMES OUT TOMMOROW, AH), and thank you for reading! :)
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cupcakeslushie · 2 days
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little bros on their shoulder🐢
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cupcakeslushie · 2 days
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profile in quicksilver
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deactivating a bomb in the middle of the night <3
Based on @faiakishi's "Dawning of the Hour"
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cupcakeslushie · 2 days
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Just making sure I can still draw. Also I had a Thought™️ in the Council discord.
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cupcakeslushie · 2 days
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Love how she was all carefree then skipped right over angry and went all the way to Dark Souls miniboss
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cupcakeslushie · 3 days
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I thought about it all the time and finally accumulated it into something
Mikey is a frog, Leo is a salamander, Raph is an alligator and Donnie is a gecko
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I think I'll change their uniforms a little
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cupcakeslushie · 3 days
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EW Leo Arc part 7 is now on Patreon!
Join my patreon for sneak peeks of future updates!
THIS PART WILL BE UPLOADED TO TUMBLR ON MONDAY 3/18
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cupcakeslushie · 4 days
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Been reading "the neon void" by @sugarpasteltmnt on ao3 and GUYS ITS SO GOOD
so I went and drew my favorite moment so far from chapter 6
( TW: limb severing)
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cupcakeslushie · 4 days
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💙💥
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cupcakeslushie · 5 days
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Two more sneak peek pages for Ew on Patreon!
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cupcakeslushie · 5 days
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Alright take 3
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cupcakeslushie · 5 days
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sometimes i just like drawing silly babies on silly playdates... gemini!donnie's babies ft. @abbeyofcyn and @cupcakeslushie's babies
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