#I guess I'm in my Feyre feels today
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While we're waiting for the announcement, what's your guess for the title of the next acotar book?
Lol, you sneaky nonnie! I've seen this Ask all over my dash today yestereve (I fell asleep writing my response to this)😆 Thank you for letting me join in on the fun!
I've actually had a theory about this hiding somewhere in my drafts for a couple of months now, but I've been too lazy to dig into it because 1. Structured writing, and therefore theories, is not my forte 2. I'm a perfectionist but my mind's messy - so it's all a bit messy, 3. so I might sound like a loony... 4. and I'm too insecure about my thoughts at times to even post about what goes through it 😅
But since you Ask'd... Here's a "shorter" version of that draft, at least:
My theory is that Elain's book will have something to do with ✨️Vines✨️.
Like... A Court of ✨️🌿Golden Vines🌿✨️(which I'm leaning the most towards), ACO Twining Vines, ACO Tangled Vines, ACO Blooming Vines, ACO Shadows and Vines... etc. I'm still trying to figure out where to lay my theory 😅🤣
It may sound very Elucien or even Tamlain, but ✨️Vines✨️ are described as "a plant whose stem requires support and which climbs by tendrils or twining or creeps along the ground" which, if you read or search through the books, also hints and applies to the movement of Azriel's shadows in many instances... @wingedblooms absolutely brilliant post that I quite recently came upon, especially supports the 'Twining'... So I think it's the perfect title to confuse people about her endgame 😜
Anyways, to back up my guess/theory...
Elain's scent is of Jasmine (and Honey), which seems to be the bloom of the Night Court 👀, grows as climbing shrubs or ✨️vines✨️. But I'm feeling specifically strongly for the ✨Vines✨ because
Aaaaand because:
1. Ivy is a ✨vine✨ and Sarah has mentioned it in relation to Elain's book in an interview presented at the back of ACOFAS.
2. Nesta's drawer had flames🔥. Elain had...
🌿✨Twining Vines of flowers✨🌿
We often see the beautiful petals (Elain's softness & beauty), but we don't think about the strength, resilience, and foundation of the vines underneath and........ 👇
3. ✨️Vines✨️ symbolise:
Strength & hope & resilience = Elain's quiet strength.
Determination = Elain has shown determination to help in ways she can, but is yet to be given the chance to...
She also has shown a determined disregard and opposition to having a mate...
Connection = Goes well along with my guess on "Golden" or "Twining" Vines which are often used as adjectives in relation to bonds, threads, and even spells.
Also, Elain is an Archeron sister, Cauldron-blessed, and a Seer - connected to basically every plot and possible subplots in the books (The Cauldron ➡️ Ramiel in Illyria ➡️ Made Objects & People ➡️ The Middle & The Prison/Dusk Court ➡️ The Dread Trove ➡️ Koschei ➡️Vassa ➡️The Human Queens etc.🔁); not just for who she is and her Cauldron-given gifts and abilities, but also possibly through her LIs and family. She's the one sister left unexplored and it all leads back to her. She's basically at the beginning (She's the first sister mentioned by Feyre at the beginning of ACOTAR) and in the end (She's the last sister mentioned by Nesta at the end of ACOSF) of everything. So I don't know if that supports her book being next or last...
Life = the meaning of which also applies to her scent of Honey and "Golden" -the colour of (sun)light, honey, her eyes, her hair.
3. ✨️Vines✨️ are also mentioned/connected to the earthen powers described in CC3 that Sathia & Tristan Flynn + Bryce have, which I believe many has already theorised Elain to also have... I quite like those theories (can't remember exactly where I read them as of rn) and would like to believe that it's something the Cauldron has blessed her with since she's associated with gardening and life...
I also read somewhere in a biblical text (which I wasn't too keen to delve into tbh, so don't trust my word for it, but it's Googlable) where ✨️Golden Vine✨️was associated with Life, Rebirth, and Free Will... But if Elain turns out to be the next Messiah/Saviour/Prophet of Prythian, then it's quite perfect 🤷🏻♀️
So... that's sort of my take so far 🫣 Hope it makes sense to you, nonnie 😅
What's yours?
#Pro Elain Archeron#acotar theories#ACOGV#A Court of Good Vibes#acotar 6#acotar5#pro elriel#sarah j maas#elain archeron#acotar#maasverse theory#hofas spoilers
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Frustrated: Part Three
"What?!" Cass yells, "when did this happen?" Both turn and look at Azriel expecting an answer. "About a week ago when we were training." Az admits. "And you haven't told y/n?" Rhys guesses. "I was going to tell her yesterday, then when I got here it all fell apart when I offered to help move her dresser in. Then she avoided me the rest of the day and won't talk to me." Azriel admits. "That's why you were camped outside her door all night." Cass says realizing everything. "I can't wait to see how you fix this one," Cass says laughing, "You destroyed her furniture, I can't wait to hear how she takes that news." Az looks at Cass annoyed, "I'll buy her whatever furniture she wants to replace it, no matter the cost." "I'm glad I'm not you." Rhys admits with a smirk.
Meanwhile at your apartment you start making arrangements to move you're things from the townhouse to your apartment. After setting up the moving you decide to go into town to get some things you need. You find a dishware set you love the only problem is the blue accents remind you of Azriel, you convince yourself that will change with time and get it anyways. After finding the necessary items you head home. Along the way you bump into Feyre. Apologizing for running into her you look to make a quick exit but she stops you. "Can we talk?" She asks with concern in her voice and you find yourself agreeing. You take her back to your apartment after she promises not to tell anyone where you're living. Once inside you set about putting away your purchases and offer her something to drink. She gladly accepts sitting at the small dining table with you.
"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry that we made you feel like you were not equal to any of us." Feyre apologizes. "And that you felt you weren't part of the family, because you are very much a part of it." You give her hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance. "It wasn't you or any of the girls, it wad the boys, and even then it was mostly Azriel." You tell her while fidgeting with the edge of the tablecloth. "Why was it mostly Azriel?" She asks curiously. "I don't know things just seemed different lately. Seems like everytime I'd turn around he was there offering a hand. At first I thought he was just being nice but then it seemed like he didn't trust me to do it myself. The other day was the final push that caused me to break." You answer her honestly. "What happened the other day?" Feyre asks softly. "I was moving my new bedroom set in and only had the dresser left to move and he insisted on helping and I just lost it. You know the rest." You tell her. Both of you sitting in silence for a few minutes. "You're apartment is lovely, but should you want some company don't hesitate to reach out." She tells you before adding, "I know this is between you and Az but maybe give him another chance eventually." She stands and leaves you with your thoughts
You decide soaking in the bath with some wine sounds like just what you need. As you let the tub fill you light various candles before stepping into the steaming bath. As you relax into the water you pour yourself a glass of wine. You think about your conversation with Feyre. You know eventually you'll have to talk to Azriel, but today isn't that day. You close your eyes as you relax, feeling the hot water erase the tension in your muscles. After the wafer cools you towel off and put on a robe, blowing out the candles. You get dressed in leggings and a sweatshirt. You open your notebook and start writing. You don't realize how late it is when a knock pulls you from writing. You put your notebook in the drawer and answer the door. Azriel is standing on the other side with his hand raised like he was about to knock again.
Part Four
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New Year /// Azriel X F!Reader
Summary: "Azriel and reader celebrating the 31st dec night with Inner cricle, doing countdowns , kissing their mates 🥺❤ and after celebrating with IC , azriel celebrating new year with his mate in their bedroom ( you know what i mean 🙈🥵) and then waking up in each other's arm naked on the 1st day of new year , snuggling 🥰🥺 Ohh I'm Crying😭😭❤❤ ( SMUT and FLUFF)"
Warnings: SMUT
Word Count: 1,8K
Notes: It's really weird writing about new year and imagining it in the winter when i'm currently melting away with how hot it is today. Thank you @cherryjain17 for requesting this ❤️
Main Masterlist
I sipped in my drink, the wine warming up my body, I could feel the heat on my cheeks from the three glasses I already had tonight, everyone was laughing and smiling, this year Rhys and Feyre decided that the new year should be exclusively celebrated by the inner circle, so tonight was just about family. Mor was telling some joke, as she held Emerie’s hand, their bond had snapped only two months ago and we all were more than happy for them, they deserved all the happiness in the world.
I watched how they looked at each other, the gaze filled with love and I smiled, remembering how it was when the bond snapped into place for me and Azriel, the feeling of being finally complete, I squeezed my mate’s hand and he leaned towards me, his head resting on my shoulder while I kissed his hair. My eyes drifted to the clock on the wall, that indicated that it was almost midnight, Rhys must have noticed it too as he got up, clapping and demanding everyone’s attention.
“It’s almost midnight, and I have a gift for you all, more to my dear Feyre, but you guys get to enjoy it as well.” He extended his hand to Feyre helping her getting up, one by one, all of the couples followed him, he opened the door to the higher balcony in the River House, once we all gathered around, he counted the time, when the main clock in town announced the beginning of the new year, Rhysand snapped his fingers, suddenly, a colorful line ran towards the sky, exploding in a burst of color and sparkle, followed by another one, and then another, coloring the skies multiple times.
Azriel spun me around, until I was facing him, he removed a hair strand from my face, placing it behind my ear as he leaned into me, his lips capturing mine, the kiss was gentle, intimate, his hands held my waist firmly while his tongue licked my lower lip, I opened my mouth to him and he entered it, his tongue exploring every corner of my mouth, making my breath go uneven.
“Happy new year love.” He said as he parted the kiss, someone tapped on my shoulder, as I turned, Elain was offering us champagne, we thanked her and approached the rest of the group, the colorful explosions kept happening in the background as we all lifted our glasses for a toast.
“To a new year filled with peace, love and did I say peace? We really need it.” We all cracked a laugh at Rhys’s joke. “I’m glad to have such a wonderful family by my side, I love you all, but if you tell anyone, I will deny it for the rest of my life. Except for you, Feyre darling, the whole world needs to know that I love you.”
“I guess you made it very clear a lot of times you dickhead.” Mor said and again, everyone laughed so loud that the whole town might’ve heard us. As the show came to an end and Nesta started to complain about being cold, everyone got back inside, Amren and Varian were the first ones to leave.
“I guess we could go home too, don’t you think?” Azriel whispered on my ear, his breath causing me to shiver as it hit my neck, all the hair in my body getting up at the implied suggestion on his tone. I got up, gathering my purse and pulling Az with me, saying goodbye to everyone, I heard Cassian yelling as we reach the front door.
“Use protection! Ouch!” If I closed my eyes I could see Nesta slapping his arm for the comment and I snorted.
“Thank you Nes and fuck you Cassian.” I shouted before closing the door, the cold winds hit me and I shrugged, Azriel turned to me and asked me if I was cold. “Yeah, do you mind if we winnow instead of flying? I guess choosing a strapless dress for tonight wasn’t the smartest choice.”
“Don’t worry love, we will get rid of it in a minute.” He said, his voice low and powerful, sending a wave of heat through my body, I pressed my legs together and he laughed sarcastically before he held my hand, I huffed, already feeling the wetness gathering in my underwear, the shadows reunited around us as I winnowed us home, Azriel didn’t wait until we fully stepped out into our house to start distributing kissed along my shoulder.
His hands pulled my waist towards him, pressing my ass on the growing bulge in his pants, his left hand got up, his fingers brushing lightly my arm as he got higher to remove my hair from my neck, his lips burning my skin with every touch as he kissed the extension of my neck, I pressed my lips together to suppress a moan, his right hand got up as well, aiming for the zipper on my dress, pulling it down slowly, the fabric sliding on my body, pooling on the ground, I stepped out of it, left in only my underwear.
“You were without a bra this whole time? Fuck.” He whispered on my ear, I pressed my legs together once more and he pushed me forward, towards our bedroom. As I laid down, he stopped by the end of our bed, his hands quickly opening the buttons of his black shirt, his pants and underwear were discarded on the floor, he stood naked, like a fucking god, his brown skin and tattoos begging to be touched, as I made a move, trying to stand to get to him, he stopped me, his hands grabbing my ankles and pulling me towards the end of the bed.
“I’ve been hungry for you all night, let me have my well deserved feast.” He said and I trembled, resisting the urge to close my legs and hide from him, no matter how many years had passed between us, I would always get shy under his lustful gaze, he looked at me like he indeed was starving, he keneled in front of me, the only one I will ever get on my knees for, he said that to me once and I blushed as I remembered.
His tongue licked a string in my aching core, his hot tongue stealing my breath as he licked my clit, the circle motions he made, driving me insane, he took his time licking and kissing it as I moaned, the loud noises coming from the back of my throat. “Fuck Az.” He slowly inserted a finger, sliding it all the way inside me, curling it at the end until he hit the right spot inside me, I grabbed the sheets in my hands, the sound of ripping fabric was soft, but it was still there, those were my favorite sheets, I was sure that Azriel wouldn’t mind buying me new ones.
One of his hands reached my breasts, he played with my nipple as the orgasm grew in my lower belly, the knot in there was almost too much, he inserted another finger, moving faster, encouraged by my loud moans. “Az I can’t take it anymore.” I half moaned, half spoke, he looked at me through his lashes, his irises darkened with lust.
“Then cum for me love.” His voice was so sensual that I wasn’t able to control myself, the wave of pleasure hitting me, I closed my legs around his head while my cunt clenched his fingers in, Azriel kept licking, overstimulating my clit as he cleaned my orgasm. He got up, crawling on top of me, one of his hands grabbed my waist, lifting me up until I was laying rightfully in bed, the sensation of his strong arms lifting me like I was nothing more than a pillow got me soaking wet, and the moan that escaped my lips was sinful. “Do you like when I move you like this, don’t you?” I nodded eagerly and he smirked.
I cupped his face, pulling him down for a hungry kiss, his wings flared up behind him, one of my hands held his cock, stroking him up and down a few times, he bit my lower lip as I kept going, his forehead was resting against mine and I could feel him sending his love through the bond, i caressed the black thread between us in return at the same time I adjusted him on my entry, soaking his tip with my wetness, he sunk his cock deep inside me, we both moaned at the feeling.
He didn’t move for a while, waiting for me to stop clenching around him, as soon as he felt my body stopping, he started moving, his big cock moving in a slow pace, hitting the good spot inside me every damn time as he would slid all the way out just to slam his hips against me, I dragged my nails along his back, whispering to him that I wanted it faster, he was more than happy to attend my wished as his thrusts got faster, he started on a fast and steady pace, my lips couldn’t stay closed as I moaned his name over and over again.
The second orgasm started to build quicker than the first one, it didn’t take long for it to start being unbearable, my walls clenched hardly around him as I dug my nails even more on his skin, to the point of drawing blood, he sucked marks on my neck, his lips seemed to be glued to me as the orgasm hit me, powerful than the first one, I moaned his name loudly as I came, he was right after me, his warm seed spilling inside me.
He collapsed on my side, and I started to feel my eyelids heavy as we tried to catch our breaths, he pulled me closer, laying my head on his chest as he kissed my sweaty forehead. “Rest love, I know you’re tired from helping Feyre all day.”
“Goodnight Az, I love you.” I said, feeling the heaviness of sleep carry me away in it’s arms. When I woke up in the next morning Azriel was already awake, caressing my hair softly as he watched me sleep. “Hi Az.” I looked down, we were still very much naked and I giggled.
“Hi love, did you sleep well?” I looked at him, nodding and then burying my face on his chest, he held me closer and I could stay just like this, buried on his chest, feeling his scent and being warm in the arms of my mate.
“I love you so much.” I whispered against his skin, peppering with kisses along his belly.
“No more than I do.”
#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel#acotar#smut#sarahjmaas#shadowsinger#a court of mist and fury#fluff#azriel x y/n#velaris#night court#moonlightazriel#a court of thorns and roses
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The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch. 2
Chapter two of Feyre's diary! I hope you enjoy,! Things might pick up in the next chapter
Words: 1.4k
February 7th
Dear Diary,
I feel like death on two legs. These past fews were SO hectic.
I've got the job I applied for and they agreed fairly quick for me to work the night shifts, and now I know WHY! Who would have thought so many people went to a seedy diner at the outside of town in the middle of the night? It's weird and I also need to act like nothing is different because mom knows nothing! She doesn't suspect a single thing! I guess being ignored by her has its perks?
Anyway, I'm not going down that route. Point is, I'm trying to juggle work and school and somehow get sleep at some point of the day, which worked until today when I fell asleep in Mr. Suriel’s class. And guess who woke me up? Rhysand!! He was very sweet about it but I felt so embarrassed, I basically bolted away from him and almost walked into a door. Yeah, I can't look at him anytime soon.
Also, dad is acting very weird lately. He's always in his office and barely talks to any of us if he bothers to show up for dinner, even mom and Elain.
Okay, that's it I think.
Byee
February 15th
Dear Diary,
The moon is so pretty. It's like 11pm right now and I'm not at work, I got this Saturday off to work on Sunday which even gives me a little Sunday bonus! Amazing, isn't it?
Back to the moon, it's beautiful! I've never paid much attention to it but now that I did, I never want to look at anything else again. Sitting in the moonlight and writing in my diary? That's so aesthetically pleasing, Pinterest would eat this up!
I'm also not the only one still awake, I can hear dad’s TV, he's watching the news again, as every evening although he's working much later than usual, mom is super grumpy about this. I think they even argued yesterday, I heard weird noises coming from their room.
I also have good news! Rhysand and I have to make a project together for history!! ME and RHYSAND. It's going to be so fun, as long as I keep him far away from my house. He already asked if we wanted to start the project at his house or mine, of course I said his even though I'm super nervous! We're meeting tomorrow. Should I wear the blue sweater? Maybe I can steal some of Elain’s mascara. Or I could ask her. We'll see, I guess.
I also don't know if I should leave my notebook at home. It's full of scribbles of Rhys's eyes. That's very specific but I just can't get them right! How can a person have such unique eyes? If anyone comes close to having literal starry eyes, it's him. So, what would be more embarrassing, if mom found the notebook or Rhys??
I think I'll leave it here, hide it in my closet. If mom still finds it I can lie and say it's just practice! Hopefully she won't find the R+F scribbled in the back.
I'm getting sleepy now, big day tomorrow.
Bye!
March 9th
Dear Diary,
Rhys and I got an A on our project! It was so easy working with him, it didn't even feel like working. He's not just the most beautiful guy I have ever seen, he's also so nice and incredibly smart! I think he also plays sports, what can't he do? Like, leave some talent for us!
I also got into an argument with Nesta if it's acceptable to use sus as a word. It's way too hard and time consuming to always fully spell suspiceus ous, same with saying it. Shortening it saves lots of time! She says it's stupid and to not use it in front of her friends because it's humiliating. To quote her, verbatim, “Stop trying to make sus happen, Feyre! It's not going to happen!” Rude. It's totally going to happen someday and I'm going to tell her “I told you so.” (She hates that)
Also, after weeks of acting sus, dad finally joined us at dinner and actually talked. Mostly to mom and the topic was the airplane that had just disappeared but nonetheless, he talked and his mood seemed better! He also doesn't look like a caveman anymore for the first time since he locked himself in the office, so that's good.
Mom also almost caught me eating chocolate, which would have been a total disaster. She's always making sure that we, mostly Elain and Nesta, aren't overweight. She's weighing them weekly! It's so insane. Sometimes I bring back some leftovers after my shift and sneak them to Elain and Nesta's room. They accept them and mom hasn't kicked me out of the house yet, so I assume they haven't told her. They also don't ask question when I bring the snacks, they just accept it. Good, that means they don't have to lie for me. Or I don't have to lie to them.
Okay, I guess that's it for the day.
PS: is it normal to constantly have a feeling of impending doom? Is it just PMS?
April 29th
Dear Diary,
Since Rhys and I did our project we've spent much more time together! He's so funny, he always makes me laugh. I think we've even become friends. We shared our lunch today, he got a half of my sandwich and I got a half of his! He even gave me his coke zero because he was shocked when I told him I never had any. It was amazing. (the coke, the company and the lunch)
Rhys told me he's super into astronomy, he's a nerd about it and it's so cute. I never saw him so animated about a topic! I mean, when he talks about himself. For some reason he also looks super interested when I talk about painting, he must be a good actor because I can't imagine him really being interested in art but I appreciate it anyway! No one ever really tried to listen to me about my hobbies.
I think I'm talking nonsense again, I don't know why that always happens. Sometimes my thoughts feel like a big heap of muddled words and everything is going on at once.
Oh, right, I almost forgot the most important thing! Rhys and I planned a sleepover during the summer holidays! I told him that I'd like to have a WiiU someday and he suggested a game night, because he has a WiiU, I'm so excited! I hope the time goes by fast, I can't wait. I need a break, my schedule is so tight these days, it's almost suffocating but I can't tell anyone.
It's going to be worth it, though. I'm saving my money, for what, I don't know yet. Maybe my driver's license? I have time to figure it out.
Mom is out for tea with her friends right now, so I'm using the time to listen to Taylor Swift without headphones!
May 31st
Dear Diary,
I could cut the tension here with a knife but either no one tells me what's up or they don't know. I tried to get some infos from our cook, Alis. She's always nice and she gets wind of all the gossip but she couldn't tell me what's going on.
Something isn't right and I need to know what it is, although something tells me I shouldn't. But can I just leave this mystery unsolved? Of course I can't!
It might be quiet right now, mom amd dad are in dad’s office upstairs, Elain and Nesta are in the garden and all the house staff seem to be huddled somewhere around the kitchen, whispering among themselves. Maybe I could eavesdrop? But there isn't really a way to hide without them seeing me. We definitely need more secret nooks in this house, I can't get information like this.
Nesta always says I'm nosy but that's such a negative way to look at it, I'm just curious. How is she not? How is Elain not? Is it wrong to be curious?
Especially if your parents are super jumpy for, like, the whole last week! It's super sus. Last night I knocked over the salt shaker and they flinched! Mom didn't even shout or reprimand me, she just glowered and went back to her dinner, it was sca–
Oh, hold on, the doorbell just rang, be back in a sec.
Taglist:
@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader
#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#feyre archeron#feyre#feyre cursebreaker#high lady of the night court#high lady feyre#feyre darling#rhysand#rhys#high lord rhysand#rhysand archeron#rhys acotar#high lord of the night court#feysand#archeron sisters#feysand fic#feysand fanfiction#feysand fan fiction#Feysand fanfic#feysand au#acotar fanfiction#Acotar fan fiction#Acotar fanfic#acotar fic#Acotar au
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Omg what was up with that Feysand stan on ur post????? ITS JUST A THEORY. (Not to mention a MUCH better pairing) and lol if Feysand was always endgame why in the fck does Rhysie SA Feyre??? Did Sjm do that to build sexual tension (cause Feyre says in Acomaf she had "wanted him even then") AND THAT'S INFINITELY WORSE!!
Lmao they tried to fire up on one of my posts too and I immediately blocked them. Seen them one too many times fighting about posts that's none of their business. Like life is so empty u need to fight with strangers on the internet to feel something. I am literally so mad not them saying Tamlin Apologists deserve to be bullied?!?!? For liking a fictional character????!!
I took personal offence to that
Ha! See! I told you I would respond today. I totally didn't get sucked into Skyrim and my writing and nearly forgot.
Idk what their problem was. They blocked me like the first week I was on here so I didn't think much of them. I knew about them because there would be discourse on posts and an invisible opponent. So I guess they unblocked me to stir shit and idk, get more traffic to their blog? They rebranded with a name that is clearly meant to draw in Antis of Feysand. I think they're like 15 and so I guess they're in their "I'm edgy look at me phase" where they want to pick fights because they think they're always right and special. I'm so glad I didn't grow up with my cringe behavior on the internet.This is why we don't sell erotica or "dark romance" to children. They can't handle speculation or discussions. I bet they cry over Marvel's What If... series because it's not Canon. Like... the post that had them all fired up was speculation about something we have receipts for. And a lot of people liked the idea. All they do is make the books look worse.
And the way they talk about Feyre vs. Nesta is like they think they're written by two different people. This isn't Harry Potter (fuck you Rowling) vs. Twilight (fuck you Meyers). I don't think Feyre gets a free pass to transform into a person of another race just cuz Nesta and Gwyn modelled their stuff after the Valkyries. I think both are bad and icky because the same author wrote both and clearly doesn't see how offensive that could be. I do, however, think that there's a difference between what Feyre did and the Blood Rite. Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie were kidnapped and forced into the Blood Rite. They didn't actually choose to.
Side note though: Valkyries are from Norse mythology. It does chap me that she couldn't use a mythology or create something new for her Illyrians to flesh out their culture. She just used a primarily white culture for her non-white character's culture.
Sorry to rant about that. It just irked me.
I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would ship Feysand the way it's written in Canon. I can with 100% confidence say I've never written a romance that involved anyone SAing anyone. Hell, I don't feature SA at all really. I don't want it in my fantasy. I want people to find peace and love in my books. Men have written enough SA in fantasy, it doesn't need any from me.
But like... if you look at their posts, the reason I don't like Feyre is because I wanted "my fav" to end up with Rhys. They can't fathom that I don't like Rhys at all. I don't like any of her men. They don't appeal to me at all. The only one I might’ve had any inkling of interest in is Kallias but I'm sure if we spent more than a handful of pages with him, I'd hate him too. I think she'd eventually change all of them regardless of appearance to something shallow and toxic.The Bat Boys specifically are boring to me. Their designs suck, their personalities suck and the way they treat their women sucks. Nothing I see in her books is what I would classify as love. Her books aren't about love. They're about sex with hot dudes. But you know what? Other books do romance, love and even just sex better.
I'm glad you blocked them. Just know, they still spy on us.
Thank you for your ask. I hope you're doing well.
#anti sjm#anti acotar#anti rhysand#anti sjmaas#anti feysand#anti feyre#sjm critical#ask holly#stans being stans#anti acosf#ask me stuff#ask me questions#ask me anything#thanks for the ask!#ask#ask me things#answered asks#answered ask#answered
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Nitpicking ACOWAR 4 +5
I've returned! I gotta work on reading more of ACOWAR since I had a "break" and I'm still just up to Chapter 7. So the posts for my notes will be slow for a little while until I write more.
Chapter 4
-Summer Solstice celebrations begin in Spring. Feyre thinks about what she looks like in her new white dress. Brings up Tarquin and how she betrayed him.
-Tarquin never tells Tamlin that Feyre was in Summer. I don’t know why.
-Everyone looks at Feyre but she looks at Ianthe. Why is everyone looking at Feyre?
-Feyre thinks of herself as a wolf, she did this in the 2nd book too. Isn't she a hunter not a wolf? I guess they’re similar.
-A year ago on the same day as the Summer Solstice, Feyre and Tamlin shared their first kiss. I don’t remember if that’s correct.
-Flashbacks to the “wedding.” Feyre admits at the time that she felt that Tamlin didn’t deserve her because she was “broken.” And Rhys saved her.
-For a moment Feyre pities Tamlin when he notices the wedding ring is missing from Feyre. This is probably to make Tamlin look pathetic and barely deserves pity from Feyre, rude.
-Feyre complains that Lucien and Alis are trying to spare Tamlin about Feyre’s suffering by hiding the truth from him. This doesn’t make sense to me. She also complains about them not helping her. Did Tamlin really not notice what was happening to Feyre in the beginning of the 2nd book? Was everyone hiding things from him?
-Brannagh made fun of Summer Solstice according to Feyre, and implied that in the future they won’t have it anymore?
-While Ianthe performs the ritual for Solstice she brings up “the light is strongest today, let it drive out unwanted darkness… banish the black stain of evil” and for some reason Feyre thinks it has to do with the Night Court?
-Feyre wants the weird twins to do the honor of the blessed wine. She apparently made Ianthe believe that the twins hate her rituals and want to get rid of her, so Ianthe is going to convert them.
-Feyre also requested that Ianthe add a prayer for the warriors, Jurian does this one.
-For some reason Feyre planned for the rising sun to light her up while she’s wearing white and everyone’s in awe of her. What? She was able to get Ianthe discreetly away too, since it was her spot. I guess this is to make people trust her?
-Feyre did all of that to one-up Ianthe.
-Tamlin is wary of Feyre because of all of that. Feyre continues to be a show-off.
-Feyre claims she has no problem with the Spring citizens but has issues with the courtiers and sentries for some reason. I don’t remember them even noticing Feyre in the 2nd book? I guess some of the sentries maybe? She’s throwing every Spring Court Fae under the bus.
-Feyre talks to Rhys through the bond. If I pretend that Rhys wasn’t abusive in the 1st book and Spring wasn’t used as a scapegoat, I could’ve been behind these 2. This Rhys seems different from the 1st and 2nd book.
-I thought Feyre was making plans with the Night Court to deal with Hybern? But Rhys wants to know when she’s coming home?
-Feyre believes she was a shy doe in the 1st book.
-Feyre asks Tamlin to dance with her, Tamlin is happy. Feyre thinks about her hands being at a strangling distance with his throat.
-Tamlin is sometimes surprised by magic.
-Feyre compares Tamlin to Amarantha, and doesn’t know how Rhys dealt with Amarantha when she can’t stand being around Tamlin. It’s a confusing comparison. It feels like Feyre is downplaying what Rhys went through, Amarantha had forced herself on Rhys, Tamlin has never done that to you.
-Tamlin couldn’t stomach the Calanmai Rite. In Feyre’s head she complains about Tamlin stomaching Hybern instead and that she was some sort of stolen item to Tamlin.
-Feyre toys with Tamlin by offering that the blessing might’ve been intentional.
Chapter 5
-Feyre claims that Tamlin and her kissed last year during the dawn on Summer Solstice or is it after?
-Feyre asks Lucien to escort her to her room. Something about Lucien being a mated male not interested in other female company? I hate soulmates in this series so much.
-Claims of Ianthe trying to corner Lucien to find out what happened during the ceremony. The one where he kneeled to Feyre.
-Feyre has a nightmare about the Attor, the Weaver, and her sisters being thrown in the Cauldron. She let herself have the nightmare?
-Feyre goes to Lucien. Oh no.
-Feyre tells a truth and half a lie to Lucien. She manipulates him.
-Feyre uses Lucien so that her “fear” and “pain” from her nightmare can mask her scent so that she could use her magic to search the house.
-This was all a ruse to have Tamlin see Feyre with Lucien. I don’t know why no one’s suspicious of Feyre, this is ridiculous.
-Feyre begins to ruin the friendship between Tamlin and Lucien. I don’t know why Tamlin decides he’s going to be jealous of Lucien, their friendship shouldn’t fall apart this fast.
-I hate Feyre, friendship ruiner. I want to punch her so bad.
-How am I supposed to root for Feyre when she does all of these terrible things?
-Feyre lying to herself that in the 1st book Tamlin was jealous of Lucien and Feyre’s friendship. He supposedly told Lucien to “back off” because of jealousy. I don’t think SJM remembers what happened in the 1st book.
-What?
-Something about Lucien’s new mating bond with Elain, if Tamlin is wondering who would Lucien choose?
-This book is a nightmare.
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Love Eternal
Feysandmonth Prompts: Bath Together & Love Languages
Summary: Coming home from a meeting in Winter, Rhys finds Feyre exhausted and in need of some caretaking he is all to happy to provide.
AN: Late on both prompts, but I skipped bath day last week and had this idea at ten o'clock last night, so, short and sweet. Hope you enjoy.
I entered the Riverhouse late upon returning from Winter, exhausted from smoothing over crack after crack and organizing shipments of relief assistance as best as I could from Kallias' territory. All I wanted right now was to see my mate and son.
Despite the late hour, it was soft laughter that drew me deeper into our home and into the main living room rather than the master room or nursery down the hall.
"Don't tell me my best whiskey has all-"
I froze in my tracks, seeing that while the whole family was present, there were a few members who had already fallen unconscious. Nyx, I had expected. Midnight had nearly claimed Velaris, and though he didn't give us the easiest nights, Feyre had told me about their fun, yet draining day before I'd winnowed to Winter.
Then there was my lovely mate, curled rather comfortably into our spymaster's side. Something akin to a smirk lit his eyes as he looked to me. "Please tell me it's the babe keeping this poor female exhausted and not you, Rhys?"
I chuckled, stooping down over the living room bassinette to kiss my sleeping son's cheek. "Today it was a consequence of her own invention."
Either hearing my voice or feeling the eyes on her, Feyre blinked, straightening from Az's hold and meeting my gaze. "Winter," she mumbled.
"That can wait until tomorrow, love. Come on. I'll get you tucked in." Seeing I had every intention of carrying my mate to our bed, Elain offered to settle Nyx in the nursery for us, the doting aunt she was. Mumbling her good nights and kissing her sisters on their cheeks, Feyre let me lift her in my arms and down the hall, head slumping against my chest. "You didn't have to stay up waiting, Feyre. I don't want you pointlessly exhausting yourself."
She nuzzled closer. "I just wanted to make sure everything went okay. And I've missed you."
I smiled, setting her on the bed and pulling out our sleepwear. "I was only gone a day and a half, darling. Viviane was asking after you, but they both sympathized you staying home with Nyx. Then she promptly demanded next time you go down there while I babysit."
"Sounds good. Elain and Mor actually robbed me of quite a bit of baby time today. The told me to get back in the ring so Cassian could kick my ass again. We went out right before dinner and I still need to bathe."
Rolling my eyes, I set her clothing down and started the tub. "May I join you?"
"Always."
I knew she was going to go right back to sleep in the warm water and certainly had no qualms tending to her when she did. She sank into the scented bath after me, settling with her back against my chest as I unpinned her hair and reached for the shampoo. She groaned, sliding down a bit deeper. "Sore, love?"
"I thought it would be easier, sliding back into training after the pregnancy break, I guess. Cassian certainly reminded me otherwise." Indeed, a few faint bruises she should have been able to avoid peppered her skin, likely inflicted my practice sticks. "Don't hold it against him."
"I may be a snarling pain when you're at a disadvantage, but I'm not going to insist anyone goes easy on you during training. Our enemies hunt for weaknesses, not pity them. That being said, I won't train with you, because I may be too tempted to lighten up."
Though Nyx was a few months old now, the territorial, overprotective, and "broody bastard" behavior had hardly lightened up. Were Kallias not in the same position with his mate and two-week-old daughter, I have no doubt he would have been taunting me for my obvious anxiety these past two days. All he had asked was about a rumor of a dangerous delivery and if Feyre and Nyx were back to their best.
"Is the bath helping?" She hummed, eyes closing as moved on from the shampoo to massage her knotted shoulders. I hunched to kiss her neck. "Sleep darling. I'll take care of you."
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Do you have any songs that you associate with Tamlin? I have a few that fit him after Feyre left the Spring Court, and though I do love a good sad song, I wonder if you or your followers have anything happier to add? I'm also happy to discover more sad songs, too, though. ;)
Here's my list:
Someone You Loved – Lewis Capaldi [excerpt: I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me, This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy; I need somebody to heal, Somebody to know, Somebody to have, Somebody to hold, It's easy to say, But it's never the same, I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain; Now the day bleeds, Into nightfall, And you're not here, To get me through it all, I let my guard down, And then you pulled the rug, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved]
Before You Go – Lewis Capaldi (TW: this song is about losing a family member to suicide, but before I knew that about this song, I thought it was fitting for Tamlin losing Feyre to Rhysand and the Night Court) [excerpt: I fell by the wayside like everyone else; I hate you, I hate you, I hate you; But I was just kidding myself; Our every moment, I start to replace; 'Cause now that they're gone; All I hear are the words that I needed to say; When you hurt under the surface; Like troubled water running cold; Well, time can heal but this won't; So, before you go; Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather; So, before you go; Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless; So, before you go]
What Could Have Been – From “Arcane” by Sting, though my favorite cover is by Aloma Steele [excerpt: I hope you know we had everything; When you broke me and left these pieces; I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play; What could have been; Oh, what could have been; Why don't you love who I am? What we could have been]
Monster – Imagine Dragons [excerpt: If I told you what I was, Would you turn your back on me? And if I seem dangerous, Would you be scared? I get the feeling just because, Everything I touch isn't dark enough If this problem lies in me. I'm only a man with a candle to guide me, I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me. A monster, a monster, I've turned into a monster, A monster, a monster, And it keeps getting stronger.]
Thanks for humoring me! :)
P.S. If this doesn't fit your blog, feel free to delete. No hard feelings.
Hi anon,
I actually have a few and they are Filipino love songs. Still sung in English but are considered "filipino" music. But some of the ones that specifically reminds me of Tamlin in ACOTAR are The Scientist by Coldplay and Somewhere Only We Know by Keane. Ugh, ki/lls me.
I'm going to listen to those! If you know have playlist specifically for Tamlin, let me know :)
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A huge WELCOME BACK, love!!! And an even more huge congratulations <3
Also 44 for Feysand, for the fic prompts if you're still taking requests?
MY LOVE I missed you 🥺 I'm so happy to be back and to finally have time to read fics again! I have a lot to catch up on, but today I have my eyes set on Book Deal and Bruise 😌 And for you, prompt requests will ALWAYS be open. Gorgeous was made for Feysand if you ask me <33
Guess I’ll just stumble on home to my cats, alone. Unless you wanna come along - Rhys/Feyre (999 words)
Feyre took a deep breath, trying to steady herself before she knocked on the heavy oak door. Which quickly swung open, welcoming her to warm lighting and the sound of idle chatter.
“Feyre! You made it!”
Mor stood on the other side of the doorway, bright eyed and gushing with an enthusiasm Feyre almost envied. She was ushered inside with little preamble, but it took as few as five steps from Mor’s entryway for Feyre to contemplate fleeing.
Because among the blend of voices, she heard a laugh that was low and rich enough to scrape along her spine. That laugh was unmistakable. Feyre knew he’d be here, and yet turning the corner to see his face felt more daunting than giving Mor some embarrassingly obvious excuse.
“Acutally, Mor, I just remembered—”
Too late. The two of them came around the corner, and while most of the party paid no notice of their arrival, Rhysand’s eyes slid over to them. And he smiled. It was the worst thing in the entire world.
Mor gripped Feyre’s wrist, preventing her from tugging herself free to dash toward the door as Rhysand walked over to them.
“Feyre darling,” he said casually. His long, elegant fingers were twined around a whiskey glass. He took a sip, completely oblivious to the way her entire world imploded on itself watching his lips press to the crystal. “It’s good to see you again.”
Did he have to call her darling?
“Hi,” she said curtly, doing her best to feign disinterest as she frantically scanned the party goers for someone else to talk to.
Rhysand was the worst. If only because he was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen, and Feyre harbored more than a small crush on him. Which was a small problem, because she had a boyfriend. So the best thing she could do for the both of them was avoid him.
“Pleased to see you remain an expert conversationalist,” he quipped lightly, eyes crinkling with a warmth that made Feyre want to strangle him.
“I just remembered,” she said, eyes darting furiously around the party until she spotted someone familiar, “there’s something really urgent I need to tell… Cassian!”
She broke away from them, like a coward, lunging herself towards her sister’s boyfriend without sparing a second glance at Rhysand. Mor followed, intercepting Feyre with a hand at her elbow. They stopped just out of earshot of Rhysand, who watched them curiously with that same air of nonchalance that made Feyre want to pluck each of his pretty eyelashes out. Of course he didn’t care that she didn’t want to speak to him—why would he?
“What was that?” Mor hissed. “You’re being rude!”
“I have a boyfriend,” Feyre reminded her. “Tamlin hates him.”
Mor’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you said you were on a break.”
“I… We are, but—”
“But, nothing! You’ve had a crush on him forever!”
Feyre sighed. “Tamlin will apologize in the morning, okay? But not if he hears I talked to Rhys.”
For a moment, Mor looked as though she were weighing speaking her mind. She said gently, “Would it really be the worst thing in the world? If you and Tamlin didn’t get back together? Especially if you and Rhys—”
“There is no me and Rhys,” Feyre snapped, cringing inwardly at how defensive she sounded even to her own ears. “Besides, there’s no way he feels that way about me.”
She glanced back towards Rhys, who was now chatting up some red haired woman who seemed to be flirtatiously flipping her hair every five seconds. Feyre shot Mor a look that said, see?
Feyre spent the rest of the party finding the bottom of her drink far more interesting than anything else. At least then she could pretend not to notice the violet eyes that haunted her peripheral vision every time she turned her head. Why was he staring at her so much? Had she offended him? Well, she thought, good. Because Feyre happened to find him extraordinarily offensive just for existing, so it was only fair the tables were turned on this occasion.
She stayed only until it was socially acceptable to leave, not bothering with any goodbyes as she stumbled towards the door—admittedly more drunk than she should feel comfortable walking home.
“Stupid Rhysand,” she grumbled to herself as she shut the door behind her. “‘Pleased to see you remain an expert conversationalist.’ Pompous assh—heey, Rhys!”
Because of course he would be standing on Mor’s porch, jacket slung over his shoulders as he stared up at the stars like some forlorn character in a novel. Afterall, he had a knack for being precisely where Feyre wished he wasn’t.
Rhys looked even more ethereal in the moonlight, the shadows making his features sharper, his hair sleeker. He offered a cheshire grin as he turned his head towards her. “I think you can do a better impression of me than that.”
“Sorry,” she mumbled, thankful that her burning cheeks were hidden in the dark. “I haven’t been practicing my prick impersonations.”
Rhys shook his head, stepping forward to offer Feyre his jacket. “I’ve sure made an impression on you, given I can count on my fingers how many conversations we’ve had.”
She accepted the jacket begrudgingly, only because she was shivering against the night air in her thin dress. The jacket was still warm from when he’d been wearing it and—damn him—it smelled so strongly of his cologne that Feyre had to resist inhaling too deeply.
“I…” How did she explain why she felt so passionately about him? Like he said, they were little more than strangers. “I should probably get back,” she said evasively. “Need to feed my cats.”
She stumbled forward, nearly slipping on the steps if not for Rhys shooting out a hand to steady her.
“Let me walk you,” he offered.
The rejection was on her tongue, but Feyre hesitated. “Okay,” she said softly, like it was a secret she didn’t want the wind to overhear. “I guess you can come along.”
#I'll admit I had to delete some words to keep it under 1k#I set a goal for myself and I want to keep it! 😂#feysand#feysand fic#feyre x rhys#rhys x feyre#T-Swift prompts#Arrow tag
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I actually never heard of SJM until today when I asked a friend that had the red haired girl with the hot guy (sorry don't know their names) so I'm one of the people that was fooled into believing they're the otp then they tell me they aren't even together it seriously is a fanfic otp to me they're insane and all they do is send hate to you guys. Do you recommend the series of books by this author what are they about and who are the otps?
Hello anon,
It's okay. The red hair girl is Gw/yn and the guy is Azriel. Idk if this is safe to say, but for me, it's a crackship. Like, there's literally no romantic build up. It's pure mentor-trainee.
Moving forward, Acotar was more like NA than YA so if you like that then I think it's good. Acotar is about Feyre Archeron, a 19 year old human girl who was dragged on the Fae world (Prythian) after killing a wolf. She was captured by a beast, Tamlin, one of the seven High Lords in Prythian. From hostility, her feelings for Tamlin changed into something else. And as she discovers the beauty of the Faerie land she also found that something is not right. And she's set to discover and solve it.
Anon, as much as I wanted to tell you the otp I'm afraid I'm gonna spoil the series to you.
Acotar is not that deep or complex. It's more of romance, and character building. Some of the rules in the series aren't still clear, (like how mating bond works). But if you're looking for a Romance Fantasy series, I guess this one is for you. (this is really one of my fave series)
The order of the books are : A Court of Thorns and Roses / A Court of Mist And Fury (the best in the series) / A Court of Wings and Ruin / A Court of Frost and Starlight (Novella) / A Court of Silver Flames.
It's still not yet done. So far, the first trilogy were about Feyre. While Acosf is about her sister, Nesta. The series tho it was originally meant to be just about Feyre, her sisters would also have their own stories.
Throne of Glass is SJM's first ever series. (This is what I always recommend to my friends). This is more of a YA, and the world building and character building was really really great imo.
In Adarlan, where magics are banned and was ruled by a ruthless king, Celaena Sardothien; an assassin, was summoned in the castle by Prince Dorian to be his Champion in exchange for her freedom. But she first have to defeat 23 killers, warriors and suchs.
She's being trained by Chaol Westfall, Captain of the Guard. When she thought everything's gonna go in her favor, one by one, her competitors started getting murdered. Now she's set to discover who the killer is before she becomes the next victim.
I totally highly recommend this series, and this one literally gets better and better after every book imo.
For the otp, again, I'm afraid I'm gonna spoil you.
So for CC, sadly anon, I'm yet about to start the series. (I'm still too bitter to start this one lmao)
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okay I'm back home and my classes just started today so perfect time to procrastinate out the gate with rambling about ACOTAR
Spoilers ahead.
so I went into this book kind of doubtful that I'd like it, but with an open mind of like "hey, I like romance, so maybe this will be some sort of indulgent thing that i like. nothing wrong with that!" sort of vibe.
and I genuinely enjoyed how it started off. You have a protagonist that is working her ass off to defend and provide for her family in a tough time and puts herself in danger just so they can eat and have some money for basic comforts. The family dynamic is strained and messy, and all of them are very understandable, if frustrating. I was like 'yeah! this is interesting!'
Then it kind of goes downhill as soon as the faeries show up. It was cool when it was like big ass bear thing busts in the door and demands and life for a life, but then it immediately tapers off when it's like "oh there's a loophole, come live with me in the faerie lands forever" which could have been an interesting moment if it didn't kind of negate the whole "you killed my friend and I'm enraged over it" entrance. The reveal later about WHY he extends this offer doesn't make this scene any better because like. Why does he make this whole front of scaring her in the first place.
I thought it would be cool if like, the faerie lands were somehow very different and dangerous in certain ways and just inherently weird and off, but no. It's just a rich mansion and the MC gets to live in luxury and her only worry is how her family is surviving without her, which is very quickly brushed away because her Love Interest is just ungodly rich and takes care of them too. There are a few monsters and dangers that show up but they don't have much staying power.
From this point on it's kind of boring tepid "romance" stuff. I never get a strong sense of Feyre as a character. She is in survival mode at first and then isn't but most of her character boils down to like... "I think Tamlin's hot and I like to paint" which isn't very interesting. Tamlin also doesn't come across strongly either. He's just kind of a stoic, aloof guy that protects his realm and protects Feyre from being stupid. Oh and he's essentially stupid rich.
Which reminds me a lot of this section of the book is Feyre being told not to do something, without anything being explained to her- and then she does it anyway and her getting scolded for it.
The romance is bland, I never feel like they're actually interested in each other beyond basic physical attraction, and there is zero worldbuilding besides some basic holiday celebrations and throwing fantasy names of monsters in But They're Faeries Now(tm). All the background is just vague and lacking and the story dump later makes this more annoying.
Oh and also the magic system is incredibly vague and annoying to me. I don't mind a soft magic system but I want some consistency and sense to it. Having Tamlin be like "I can't heal big wounds" but he can shapeshift and still heal stuff regardless... and then have Rhys show up and be able to literally crush minds even when his power is limited like Tamlin's is like. Huh? (Also like. Why does Rhys go through Feyre's mind and not pull out a name? I guess you could argue it's because he wants to depose the evil woman faerie I guess but still. Also how does he get fooled/can't sense a simple glamour, but can easily dispel it????)
So when shit starts hitting the fan there's the expected "I'm sending you away tomorrow, let's fuck tonight" scene with a not very sexy sex scene.. and Feyre goes back to her family who are now also wildly rich and never have to struggle and of course it's not good enough for Feyre because they're normal and mundane humans and not the humans-with-pointy-ears faeries that can just forever live in excess for no reason.
And of course Feyre goes back to the faeries to try to save the day and get berated and info-dumped on about the stupid as fuck Curse. "Oh Tamlin was cursed to lose his power unless he fell in love with a human that killed a faerie and had hate in her heart (because Amarantha's sister fell in love with a human and the human betrayed her so Amarantha wants to mimic this exact same scenario with this curse. No we couldn't talk about her before this moment either, so here is her whole backstory too) and also he's forced to wear a mask covering half his face to make it even harder to fall in love with him because obviously all attraction is just physical and skin-deep, so he was intentionally sending scouts out to try to force the scenario to break his curse, so this whole thing was set up for you to be here and be made to fall in love with him and we were all cursed to not be able to talk about the curse but you, you stupid human, should've picked up on it despite us not really giving you any hints at all and should've told him you loved him, why didn't you, stupid selfish human."
Oh yeah and at no point does she ever question or consider the fact that her being there in the faerie lands was entirely manufactured and her falling in love was manipulated just so Tamlin could break the curse and get his power back. No thoughts, head empty. That's HER high lord and him telling her he loves her is unquestionably true!
We also get info dumped about the antagonist which of course is an evil, spiteful woman that wants Tamlin for herself. And all the other courts have male leaders, so it's extra evil that this silly woman is manipulating them because the womanfolk should be tending to the house and caring for children (not really, but one of the only other female faeries we encounter is a maid at Tamlin's court who is caring for her nephews and the fact that pretty much any other figure in power is a man kind of paints this type of picture to me.)
So Feyre gets captured, of course, and doesn't listen to any of the advice she's given and enters a bargain with the Evil Queen, and this starts the more genuinely interesting sections of the book. I like all these trials she has to go through and how to get through them she has to make some other deals with morally questionable people that are just using her. She has to struggle!!! It's interesting!!!
Anyways, I do find it funny that she's just so motivated to save Tamlin and meanwhile Tamlin is kind of just a stone that does nothing this whole time. Like go girl, give us nothing! She's risking her life for you and you can't even try to sneak away to see her (except of course when he's horny and wants to bang her in a closet right before her final trial which is basically the 3rd month she's busting her ass to try to save him. We love mid men.)
What weird is that I feel like she has more interesting moments and more chemistry with Rhys in this section of the book than she does with Tamlin the rest of it. It's not a very healthy relationship, but it's certainly more interesting. Rhys actually risks his skin to help Feyre, even if it is a bargain that would benefit him.
I did find it funny that at the start of these trials Feyre is given a riddle to solve and if she solves it she and Tamlin will instantly be freed. It's an incredibly obvious riddle if you have any braincells but Feyre unfortunately does not, so she doesn't figure it out until the very last second.
But of course Feyre wins her trials and solves the riddle and the evil powerful woman is nothing compared to the men's power so gets murdered by the strong man folk, but oh no Feyre dies! But don't worry the incredibly vague magic system, and the high lord come to her aid and resurrect her as a high fae herself woohooo.
I was reading this last night in a hotel room with my boyfriend and I flopped my kindle down and went "this is so fucking stupid," and my boyfriend laughed.
The aftermath was kind of interesting. I mean she's getting used to a new body with heightened senses and it seems like it's overstimulating for her and she seems almost distant about the whole thing. But don't worry it doesn't last long. she's with her lover and everything is fine, it's okay now. Also Tamlin has his mask free and is just totally handsome wow who would have guessed.
The start and towards the end of the book are probably the best parts because Feyre actually has to have some struggle, the middle parts she is literally just living in luxury and like, I suppose it's supposed to be her coming out of her shell but it all feels very surface level and like boxes being ticked for Romance Development.
Once Feyre is able to paint that's like an entire cornerstone of her personality and of course she just gets handed a full private studio space to work in. A lot of her internal narration turns into how she wants to paint x and she'll never be able to paint y and like... as someone who is an artist I can kind of understand it. I'll go places and be so amazed by the scenery it will inspire me to want to render it, but in this book is feels so weird and all consuming for the pages she's able to paint.
And Feyre in general is difficult to connect with as I've said, she's shown at the start to have some street smarts, she learns to hunt, she knows how to bargain at the markets, she picks up on gossip and knows people around town. She does not keep these properties because it's like all her sense and braincells leave her. She doesn't think of the consequences of her actions until way after the fact. She straight up is responsible for an entire family + staff getting killed and their estate burned- the daughter tortured and killed in Feyre's place and she doesn't even feel bad until she sees the body of the girl. She doesn't hold that guilt for more than a chapter at most. Her resourcefulness comes into play with one of the trials but yeah.
And of course all the men just want to fuck her for some reason.
Also, there is this incredibly weird vibe through the whole story where people are always referred to as male or female. It's squicks me out A LOT in this whole biological essentialism sense, sprinkled with heteronormativity vibe. It feels like a very cold way to refer to people and has almost this animalistic feeling to things. Like the male will mate with the female, sort of thing. I don't know if I'm conveying the vibe at all. I remember seeing this exact point mentioned by other people and I didn't think much of it, but in context I very much understand it now. There is no reason I can understand why Feyre would have this sort of verbiage when she grew up in a wealthy family and around human beings that largely wouldn't use these terms exclusively for descriptions. (The only reason I could think is that she was hunting, but still, it's a weird choice.)
The core of this story comes down to feeling like the usual escapism romance trope of 'a mid woman gets swept away by a stupidly rich and handsome guy' but with Fantasy set dressings to make it different. It's just bland to me. All the wants and needs are taken care of and it's just boring. The faerie aspects aren't even that expanded on either.
I will give the fact that Tamlin is probably not as creepy as other male love interests, but he still tries to force himself (it's mostly that he pins her to a wall and grinds on her, it's not super egregious as far as male love interests SADLY) on her once and even hurts her by biting her neck. And of course she just finds that hot and goes on to try to rile him up after that. I think that's why I don't like this romance. A lot of it is just physical lust and being horny with only a little bit of emotional connection in spots that feel more forced than natural and organic. I dunno tho.
I am half tempted to read the second book because I did quite enjoy Rhys, I love me some morally dubious men, but I don't think I could put myself through another one of these stories. Maybe I will see if a library has it to borrow so I don't feel bad for spending money on it.
Well maybe the next book I will genuinely like. Hopefully. I'm tired of being disappointed by books.
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hi hope you’re having an amazing day! ❤️💕 prompt: modern au feysand pregnancy cravings? 🥰
Hey friend! As of today, I am fine. Though, it started snowing again here and I am sad. Oh, well time for soup I guess. Here is something quick for y’all.
...
Cravings
At first, Rhys wasn’t aware that anything was amiss. Rather, he kept himself wrapped up in the thick comforter and focused on the gentle folds of sleep. It had been a long week at work, made no easier by the demands the change of seasons.
It was the first night he’d been in bed before eleven and the first night he was actually able to sleep through the night without the urge to check his phone for any new notifications.
At least, until his wife’s soft voice poked and prodded at his subconscious.
“Babe,” Feyre’s voice woke Rhysand from a deep, peaceful sleep. “Babe?”
“Yeah, baby?” He murmured reaching one hand out to pull her closer. He found her easily and dragged her the short distance across the bed. She never went very far while sleeping.
Feyre snuggled into him, humming as one of her hands traced his face lightly. The motion was so gentle and soft that it almost had Rhys falling back to sleep.
"I'm hungry."
Rhys groaned and rolled onto his back. How could someone so kind and so innocent destroy him like this. He should have known this devil woman would have something up her sleeve.
Feyre’s fingers continued dancing along his skin, her lips following in soft trails. “Can we get some chicken nuggets?
He cracked an eye open and found the alarm clock beaming in a red haze. “It's three in the morning.”
“Please?” Feyre insisted. She moved closer and burrowed into his chest. Her hands snaked up beneath his shirt and moved in teasing circles along his skin.
Rhys sighed and looked down at her. His wife met his stare with eager eyes, her delightfully full lips upturned in a smile.
She inched just a little closer until he could feel the small swell of her belly against his hip. He reached out and rested a hand there, still amazed that she was pregnant. Still amazed that their family was growing.
"The baby's hungry," Feyre said. She tilted up on on arm to press a soft, but tantalizing kiss to his lips. "Please?"
His will broke as she moved against him, her mouth trailing hot along his skin. There was little he could do when she touched him like that, kissed him like that. He tried to draw her closer eager to see where this could go.
And then she pulled away and jumped out of bed far quicker than he thought she would have been capable of with her growing belly.
"Chicken nuggets!" She cheered.
Rhys groaned and kicked the blankets off. "Alright darling, let's go."
She was already grabbing one of his jackets and her slippers before practically dancing out of their room.
He couldn't help but grin softly as he followed her out to the car. It was impossible to say no to her. Impossible to deny her anything and everything she wanted.
Damn he loved her.
...
tags below the cut
@aelinchocolatelover // @sexy-dumpster-fire // @bamchickawowow // @ireallyshouldsleeprn // @courtofjurdan // @sassys-world // @sleeping-and-books // @superspiritfestival // @chieflemming // @julemmaes // @lysandra-ghost-leopard // @firestarsandseneschals-writes // @emikadreams // @rapunzel1523 // @booksofthemoon // @highladysith // @fangirlprincess09 // @rowaelinismyotp // @vanzetanze // @jlinez // @cassianscool // @stardelia // @my-fan-side // @sjmships // @tillyrubes10 // @acourtofsjmtrash // @hellasblessed // @rhysandswhore // @story-scribbler // @post-it-notes33 // @live-the-fangirl-life // @strangevil321 // @whythefuckdoiexist // @pastasiren // @beanco8 // @lemonade-coolattas @foreverfallingforthestars // @themoonthestarsthesuriel// @feysand-loml // @scribbled-semantics // @realbookloverproblems // @ghostlyrose2 // @swankii-art-teacher // @foughtconquered // @bri-loves-sunflowers // @captain-swan-is-endgame // @tanvee1231 // @mystic-bibliophile // @cretaceous-therapod // @thenightgodess-feyrearcheron // @thisloveseternal // @gracie-rosee //
#feysand#feyre archeron#rhysand#feyre x rhysand#acotar#fic#asks#answered#a court of thorns and roses#fluff
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The Diary of Feyre Archeron
Just a tiny fic too see if I want to continue it and keep this format!
Words: 800
TW: implications of neglect, manipulation and controlling behaviour
December 21st
Dear Diary (?)
I never had a diary, I don't know how this stuff works. Mom gave me an old diary she had never used, it's the closest to a birthday gift I have ever gotten from her. I haven't gotten any cake like Elain or a grand party like Nesta but I'm not mad, at least I get the time to draw in my room without any interruptions. I've become pretty good!
Rumor has it that a new boy will be at our school tomorrow, which is weird because it's two days before the holidays. It probably stays a rumor, it wouldn't make sense.
Anyways, I think I'm going to sneak into the kitchen after mom went to bed, I'm getting hungry.
Bye, I guess?
December 22nd
Dear Diary,
Today I have been blessed by god. I didn't expect to make another entry so soon but today the new guy looked at me. OH MY GOD, RIGHT? He totally smiled at me too!! (Delusion aside, he probably saw someone behind me. He doesn't know I exist.)
I hate the stupid lights in the school but I swear the new guy’s eyes looked VIOLET in the light. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I'm totally going to draw himy he's GORGEOUS! Like the men on Nesta's book covers (that she's totally hiding from mom) but a hundred times prettier!
Well, I have to finish my math homework now.
Bye?
January 2nd
Dear Diary,
Christmas was pretty boring that's why I didn't write anything but today was insane! The new guy has a name, Rhysand (beautiful, right?) and he's in my history class! I actually quite like history and our teacher, Ms Weaver, even though everyone is scared of her but Rhysand made it hard to focus!! It's not like I'm mad about it because he's sitting like right in front of me and he smells like citrus and sea (Not that I sniffed him, I'm not a weirdo) he smells SO GOOD and I could just get lost looking at him all the time!
Maybe he'll talk to me someday, wouldn't that be neat?
Shit, mom is coming home and she sounds mad!!!
Bye!
January 4th
Dear Diary,
Today I got Elain’s hand-me-downs! Finally, I've been waiting for this, I needed new pants. Mom refused to buy me new ones because it's my fault I got them paint splattered. It's only one pair that has paint on them, the others are falling apart! But arguing with mum is like arguing with a brick wall, it won't budge.
I found a pretty blue jumper in Elain’s old clothes which makes my eyes pop! I will wear it tomorrow. Not because I have history class and will see Rhysand, it just looks pretty.
I also got a job interview at a run down diner at the edge of the town! Mom can't know, she'd never allow me to work or if she would, she wouldn't allow me to keep the money, she always needs to have everything under control, it's so annoying.
I'm not worried about not getting the job but I hope I can convince them to give me night shifts so mom won't know! Once she's asleep, she's ASLEEP!
I'd say wish me luck but it's only me and the ink, so I guess I wish myself luck.
So excited!
January 13th
Dear Diary,
I am dying. I really am. I'm barely able to write these words down.
Fine, maybe I'm not dying really but it feels like it. I got my period and I literally feel like I'm bleeding out. I feel like someone is stabbing my uterus REPEATEDLY. Why would mother nature be so cruel? Why would my own mother be so cruel to still send me to school like this? That was a trick question, it's my mother. Cruel is carved in her bones and blood and brain. Whatever it is, I can't think through this agony.
Mom says it's normal and I shouldn't be so dramatic and when I tried to talk to Elain she grimaced!! I mean, it's not her fault, I guess. Mom drilled it into Nesta and Elain that these topics are taboo. I think that's stupid because in biology they said periods are natural so why would something natural be taboo?
It doesn't make sense, right?
On a slightly brighter side, Rhysand talked to me yesterday and asked if I was okay!! I am aware he asked because I probably looked like death but a win is a win, right? And his smile when I lied and said I was okay, I was melting into a puddle!
Okay, the water is hot enough for my hot water bottle! I'm gonna chill and listen go Red for the rest of the day until bedtime.
Bye
Taglist: @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader
#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#feyre archeron#feyre#feyre cursebreaker#high lady of the night court#high lady feyre#feyre darling#rhysand#rhys#high lord rhysand#rhysand archeron#rhys acotar#high lord of the night court#feysand#feysand fanfiction#feysand fan fiction#Feysand fanfic#feysand fic#feysand au#acotar fanfiction#Acotar fan fiction#Acotar fanfic#acotar fic#acotar au
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Hello, dear! I'd love to request a Lucien Vanserra x fem!reader (she/her pronouns), if that's okay with you. Angsty but so much fluffy in the end? Where reader is from Night Court and part of the Inner Circle, when Lucien first came to Velaris (after running from Spring with Feyre) she's the only who really welcomed him there and trusted him, by that they developed a nice friendship. When Lucien's visits to the court became less and shorter, she found herself missing his company, he misses her too but none of them want to seem clingy so they say nothing. But this particular day as he's leaving, reader holds him in a hug a bit longer than intended and he feels the bond click in (no mate bond to Elain in this one) and invites her to visit his home, there she meets Vassa and Jurian who obviously catch up to their bond. You can decide when the bond snaps for reader too, but can you make it a bit emotional, please? If you can make a tad nsfw//smut for the mating bond part, that'd make my heart jump out of happiness, but it's totally up to you, if you feel ok with it. Kinda picture reader as kind, shy and quiet, but funny to be around, also (lots) shorter than Lucien I'd appreciate it so so so much 👉🏻👈🏻 I honestly feel so sad there's not enough Lucien x reader fanfiction. I guess my love for fictional characters, specially Luce, is too damn real. I'm aware that sometimes the inspiration doesn't come if you're not that attached to certain character, but if you can make this piece a little longer it would literally make me cry out of happiness. I'm sorry I feel like it's so much to deal with :( but thank you so much for considering this and reading this far, I can't express how grateful I am that you took your time with this request. Have a nice day babe, take care of yourself and drink water 😊
(I'm also sorry this is so long, feel free to change whatever you'd like)
A/N: OMG YES PLEASE!! Thank you so much for that request, you sound so nice! Lucien is my favourite ACOTAR character, I'm so excited for this request! I hope you enjoy it to the fullest!!
P.S. I'm so sorry about the smut part! I tried my best but I'm still not sure how comfortable I am with smut so I'm experimenting and writing roughly as possible. Nevertheless since you asked for tad I suppose it's fine.
Snap | Lucien Vanserra x Reader
Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses
Type: angst, fluff and smut
Words: 1,374
Warnings: Smut, also slight angst but it ends happily
Lucien Vanserra was impatiently pacing around his house. It had snapped. A bond had snapped. He thought he had experienced this before, but right now, having this feeling he knew how clueless he had been. It was never Jesminda and Lucien had the most complicated feelings in the world.
It wasn't Jesminda. He spend all those years greaving for a mate who had not existed. Of course, the guilt for her death would never leave him. He was the reason she was gone. She brought him life and he brought her death. Nonetheless, she had loved him and he had loved her like a mate and now she was gone.
But she wasn't his mate. When (Y/n) was burried so deep in his arms, when he had felt the bond snapped, he whispered to her. "My mate..." But she hadn't heard it as she was saying something of her own at that time. It's fine, it gave him the chance to tell her today.
It wasn't fine. How could he tell her such a thing? That such a worthless being was chosen by the couldron as her mate. No, either she would have to figure it out herself, or she would never know.
But she had to know... They were mates. Was he selfish enough to believe they should be with each other? Yes. Jesminda might not have been his mate but he thought she was. He had already bore the loss of a mate. He wouldn't be stupid enough to do that again.
"I don't remember what he said yesterday, is he going to tell her?" He heard Jurian ask from the far back couch.
"He said no." Vassa responded.
"No..." Lucien said in distaste at the sound of his own decision.
"So you're gonna tell her?"
"No..."
"then what the fuck will you be doing?" Jurian raised an eyebrow.
Lucien did not answer, as the bell of their door rang, and the most attractive scent in the world filled the air. The fox could easily get drunk on it everyday...and night.
Wrong moment to be horny, Luce. He reminded himself.
The door was opened by Vassa as Lucien was so lost in his thoughts. (Y/n) rubbed her arm uncomfortably and offered her a kind smile.
"Welcome." Vassa offered her a polite smile.
"Thank you! Is Lucien here?" She asked.
"Whether he is or he is not, we could offer you just as much entertainment." Jurian smirked, winking at his friend's mate. Lucien knew he only said that to piss him off but it worked nonetheless.
----------------------------------------------------
He growled, something he rarely did. (Y/n) was a bit taken aback, she had never heard him make such a sound before. Sensing her discomfort, he lifted his gaze to hers offering her a smile. Both their scents changed immediately. "Hey"
"Hi!" She said to him, walking inside and offering him a close hug which Lucien immediately returned. "I missed you so much!"
"Me too... You can't begin to imagine how much I've missed you..."
"Come on, in. Guys can you leave us alone for a while?"
Vassa shrugged and nodded in agreement and Jurian followed her, a bit disappointed.
-------------------------------------------------------
(Y/n) and Lucien chatted for a while, as the memories all fled right back to Lucien. Memories from the last time he held her in his arms, the very moment the mating bond snapped.
The feelings were undescibable and they were even stronger now that she sat there beside him, sharing the casual laugh. For him, his entire world and being changed. For her, he was still a buddy.
"Lucien, can you come here?" Vassa asked him. Lucien sighed, unwilling to move away from his mate, but joined her.
They had been gone for quite a while. (Y/n) was getting worried. Had something happened? She stood up and walked towards the door, opening it. There, she saw Lucien leaning in to give Vassa a kiss.
Something moved from inside her. It ached her heart the first second she had seen them and she had no idea why but the second one it was very clear. Mate. Lucien was her mate. And he was about to kiss another female.
Lucien scented her and began to look into her eyes that were now filled with tears. "(Y/n), it's not what it looks like. Listen-"
But she wouldn't stay to listen. She run out of the house as fast as she could. It was a shame that the emissary was much faster than she. He grabbed her wrist and pulled close to him. She couldn't stop the tears that were falling.
"I was going to kiss her cheek. She did me a favour that I had asked of her." Lucien explained, his heart breaking at the sight of his mate crying. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't explain yourself to me. There's no reason for you to do that. No reason at all..." And yet more and more tears fell from her eyes. "I'm nothing to you anyway, so why should you apologize? You can do whatever the fuck you want, I'm worthless to you, I'm-"
Lucien put a finger on her lips to shush her. "You are my mate. That's what you are. You can't say you're nothing to me when you're everything. You're my entire world, (Y/n)"
"You know...?" She asked, her sobs becoming more and more quiet.
"Of course I- Wait you know too?"
She nodded quickly. "It just snapped ..." She explained, feeling Lucien's hands wash away her tears. "So? Would you accept me as your mate? I can understand if not ... But I want you to know that I would do everything to bring you all the possible happiness if you gave me the chance."
(Y/n) chuckled. "You're silly, you know that? How could I ever refuse? To have you as a mate... I always thought of it as wishful thinking. And yet the cauldron finally did a right thing and brought you too me." Tears found their way in her eyes once more. "I love you, Lucien. I want nothing more than to make you happy." Suddenly, all the words she thought he would never hear from her were out.
Lucien gasped from happiness. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He put his hands on both her cheeks and pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss.
He only let go of her when she was breathless. No more words were needed. They both knew each other's answer. (Y/n) took Lucien's hand and run back inside towards the kitchen with him. She found a cracker and offered it to him. Lucien had never before enjoyed a cracker this much, and he knew that much as he licked his fingers in a seductive manner.
And then every emotion inside of them was plurized by heat and lust. Lucien carried her bridal style and carried her to his bedroom. He didn't know he could've been patient enough to carry her all the way there. He threw her on the bed and climbed towards her like a praeditor that had found its victim...
He was above her, covering her body with heated kisses, growling in pleasure as he heard her purr as soon as his fingers had entered her chambers one by one.
(Y/n)'s moans of pleasure filled the room. This was perfection, being this close to her mate was better than anything else in the world. Gracefully, this wasn't her first time having an intercourse. Still, it didn't make it hurt any less.
Lucien entered her slowly at first. She gasped at the size of his cock, trying her best to adjust to it. He filled her neck with kisses, whispering comforting I love yous while he slowly entered and reminding her of what they were. His mate, her mate, mates.
The mating heat lasyed for a little more than three days. Lucien and (Y/n) had never been more satisfied than that period when they were completely connected with each other. They were free to feel everything and be as loud as they wished, since there was nothing to hide. They rightfully belonged to each other.
However, not everything ends well... Rest in peace dear Jurian and Vassa. Your sleeping days shall be remembered even as they are gone ...
#lucien vanserra#acotar#acotar x reader#a court of thorns and roses#band of exiles#lucien x reader#lucien vanserra x reader#lucien#jurian#vassa#mates
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Hello Lele, I hope you are feeling better!! Today, I was happily scrolling through the Elain tag when, suddenly, I saw a post about Elain's pregnancy in CC3, yes, CC3, Elain... *sigh* I mean, people believe she's going to be pregnant (because Feyre smelled like roses when she was) even after what Sarah herself said in that interview. And, yeah, I suppose all the romance is going to happen off screen (wtf).
The thing is, they also said that Azriel could go inside the Town House even if there is a spell that doesn't allow people to go inside (only Feyre and Rhys). I don't recall that, pls, Lele, can you confirm if there is a spell? I tried to look it up but couldn't find anything. Anyways, they say that maybe he's living there with a pregnant Elain and that's why he could enter. The heck? My guess is that he could enter maybe because Feyre and Rhys let him in? Is not that hard, geez.
Everything surrounding the "bread and roses" theory doesn't make any sense. As an Elain stan I am so tired of this. We haven't seen anything of Elain and people already want her pregnant, living a very boring life in Velaris with Azriel (who is still pretty fucked up and has to solve his own issues). That's not what I want for her. I want her to find herself, explore her powers and grow as a person. I don't want her making bread while everyone is doing something important and leaving her aside. No. Just no. They are obssesed with Elain getting pregnant. What's with that? When did Elain say she wanted kids... with Azriel? When did Az say he wanted to have kids with Elain? Let's remember that quote again: "Azriel said nothing. He hadn't gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to". Az doesn't even imagine a life with her, how do they want us to believe they are living together? AND WITH A BABY ON THE WAY???
They say that Eluciens talk about Elain's womb after Nesta changed her and Feyre's bodies so that they could have winged babies, but they (I am not even going to say who because is more than clear) are the ones thinking Elain is pregnant, belittling Elain's character when she already made clear that she wants to do more and not letting her have a journey.
Sorry if this is too long but I know you appreciate Elain's character and actually have common sense! Being a pro Elain in the fandom is so hard because both antis and pros usually come up with very weird not making sense theories...
I would never in a million years want my OTP to get together and be pregnant OFF PAGE and in a SEPARATE SERIES but hey. Different strokes for different folks!
Even if this were elucien, I would be like.... "what the actual fuck" if I suspected this had happened. Okay ngl but I would probably be smug too, but at the same time severely concerned because of everything else I'm about to say: I don't want either of them to go on that whole entire journey without me being able to see it! Lucien has so much going on! Elain has so much going on! Mor! Az! They all have whole monster-sized journeys to go on and if they don't happen on page 🤺🤺🤺
While I don't think that Elain (or Feyre, or whoever) having a baby necessarily sidelines them or makes them less important, Elain has a huge honkin' journey to go on before she gets there, and I want to see that journey!!!! I wouldn't agree that her being pregnant now necessarily diminishes her but there would be a huge gap. Maybe not every reader cares about her, I respect that, but we are getting her book either way and the fun is in the journey, not just the destination.
Yes, Elain said that she has chosen a "small life", but she wants the option to do greater things from time to time. Why wouldn't we want to see her experience that?
Elain fans unite 😭😭😭
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Bittersweet: Chapter Nine
Summary: Cassian and Nesta finally meet. Officially, this time. Let the romance commence.
Notes: Read it here on AO3!
Warnings: very brief/non-explicit mention of sexual assault
Bittersweet Masterlist
“Earth to Nesta?”
Nesta snapped from her trance to see Emerie waving a hand in front of her face.
“You’ve been cleaning the same spot for a good ten minutes,” Emerie gestured to where Nesta was scrubbing the counter with a towel. It was squeaky clean.
Nesta let go of the towel and cleared her throat. “My bad.”
Emerie pulled out the chair on the other side of the counter and sat down. It was eleven in the evening on a Monday, and they had just closed. The only other person in Rita’s was Lucien, and he was doing dishes in the back.
“You’ve been acting weird for the past two weeks,” Emerie stated blatantly. Her stare was unwavering. “And you’ve lost at least ten pounds.”
The incidence with Tomas happened two weeks ago. Nesta was doing a pretty good job of moving on with her life all things considered. She felt like shit, but she hadn’t missed a single shift at work. That had to count for something.
But she should’ve known Emerie would notice. She was like a fucking hawk, that girl. She saw everything.
When Nesta didn’t say anything, Emerie shrugged and got up from the stool. “At least try a little harder,” she said, referring to the coworkers’ challenge to get the most tips. She shot Nesta a sad look. “Thesan is beating you. Thesan.”
Nesta mustered a laugh. Thesan wasn’t great with customers, that was common knowledge. Neither Emerie nor Nesta were people persons, but they knew how to turn it on for customers. Thesan, on the other hand, didn’t make much of an effort. It wasn’t that he was intentionally rude, the guy was just quiet in nature. In fact, he was quite a sweetheart.
Which was why it was quite entertaining to watch Thesan and Helion interact. Where Thesan was an introvert, Helion was loud as hell. Not to mention it was clear that Thesan was crushing on him. But unfortunately, Helion flirted with every living, breathing thing and was thus completely oblivious. During Nesta’s first week at Rita’s, Emerie had spilled all the tea about their coworkers. Thesan was head over heels in love with Helion, Helion had never been in a monogamous relationship, and Viviane… well, Viviane had her own little love story. A complicated one at that.
His name was Kallias. They grew up together, from scheming little kids to rebellious teenagers to young adults. Best friends since they could remember.
Because Emerie grew up in the same small town as them, she knew everything. They all went to school together. She knew that Kallias had been in love with Viviane since freshman year of high school. She knew that Viviane felt the same way, but she would never admit it thanks to the hell she was put through during her childhood. Nesta didn’t know the specifics, and she never asked.
It also didn’t help that Viviane was in a relationship with someone else. They’d been together for almost two years. Emerie thought Viviane deserved better, that he wasn’t a very good person.
Anyway, Kallias visited Rita’s nearly every weekend after his shift at the fire station to grab a drink and more importantly, see Viviane.
Nesta thought it was ridiculous. She’d told Emerie as much when she’d brought Nesta up to date on their coworkers’ lives. Why wouldn’t they just admit they loved each other and get on with it already? It was pretty fucking simple; they were just making it complicated for themselves. Emerie wholeheartedly agreed and the pair then went on an hour long rant on the idiocy of romantic relationships.
And if she was being honest, Nesta didn’t care much about these people. Sure, they were respectable but they were a temporary fixture in her life. Once she secured a job in her career field, she was going to leave them all behind.
“We should get a drink sometime. Outside of work,” Emerie clarified with a look of disgust. “I’m sick of it here.”
Nesta knew that was a lie based on the relationship Emerie had with Rita and her wife. But she didn’t say that.
“Maybe,” Nesta responded distractedly, desperate to think of an excuse. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Emerie; no, Nesta liked her coworker. She just couldn’t muster the energy to go out with friends or socialize like that. “I’m pretty busy right now though.”
Emerie narrowed her eyes and scrutinized her.
“Stop analyzing me.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
Emerie sighed and receded. She hesitated before saying quietly, “Is… is this the part when I ask if you’re okay and we get all deep and explore a new level of our friendship?”
Nesta slowly met her friend’s gaze. They stared at one another for several moments.
Then, they burst out laughing.
-------------------------
The next morning, Nesta was brewing her third cup of coffee when Elain padded into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” Elain yawned as a greeting. She wore bunny slippers and an oversized hoodie. Elain only had one evening class on Tuesdays, so today was her only day - save for the weekend - to sleep in.
“Hey, kiddo.”
“How long have you been up?”
Nesta glanced at the clock. It was nine-thirty. She’d woken up at six after a sleepless night of tossing and turning.
But she simply shrugged instead. “Not long.”
Nesta poured the coffee into her mug, sitting back down at the counter. She watched as Elain bustled around the kitchen, scrambling eggs and slicing fruit. The morning light spilled through the dusty kitchen sink window, bars of sunshine reflecting off the tiled floors. Iroh basked in the sunspots, his black fur glistening as his chartreuse eyes blinked closed.
Elain and Nesta hadn’t spent much time together in the past couple weeks. It was Nesta’s doing, of course. She was actively avoiding her sister and everyone else. After Elain had tried to talk to Nesta after the whole thing with Tomas, she stopped asking Nesta if she was okay. Nesta assumed that Elain realized she wasn’t going to get an answer, that there wasn't really a point in trying.
But Gods, Nesta fucking missed her. And even though she wanted nothing more than to retreat to her bedroom as she sat there in the kitchen, she didn’t move from the chair.
You need them as much as they need you, her father’s voice echoed in her head.
Guilt stabbed at her chest.
“How’re classes going?” Nesta asked quietly. Elain looked at her over her shoulder with a surprised yet pleasant smile.
“Great! I’m so grateful to be at such a great college, but…” Elain bit her lip, hesitating. “My bio lab is going to be the death of me."
“You know you’re allowed to complain, right?”
Elain just gave her a smile. “Yeah, I know. It's just, considering where I was a year ago, I couldn't be happier to finally be enrolled in such a prestigious program. Even if that means the classes are brutal."
I wish I was like you. I take everything for granted.
“And have you made any friends?”
Elain had started school at Pryth U months ago and yet Nesta had no idea if she even had friends yet.
Selfish bitch.
A fond smile broke out on Elain’s face. “Yes, I have this really great group of friends: Lucien, Ressina, and Varian. It's just the four of us, but we've gotten really close.”
Nesta asked Elain more questions before excusing herself back to her room, claiming she was going to try to write today, to which Elain squealed and wished her luck.
Nesta hadn't written since their dad died. Prior to his death, she would write nearly every day. She'd been working on a novel for years. The plot had came to her in middle school, and it just grew from there. She'd never told anyone about it. Everyone knows how fucking hard it is to get your writing published, much less get high ratings. Nesta wasn't even sure if she was going to finish it. This was the longest she'd gone without writing or editing it. And she had a feeling that she wouldn't ever go back to it.
Dread filled her stomach as she thought of that prospect. What the fuck was she doing with her life?
Nesta’s phone buzzed, and she fished it out of her back pocket.
Incoming call from Feyre Archeron.
It kept buzzing, Nesta merely stared at her sister's name on her screen. She couldn't think of a single reason why Feyre would be calling. But she pressed "Accept" before it could go to voicemail.
“Hello?”
“Hey.”
Silence.
“Uh, what’s up?” Nesta asked. She collapsed onto her unmade bed. Iroh scampered past the door and jumped on the bed with her. He didn't waste a minute curling himself around her head.
"I was calling to see… maybe, I don’t know… uh, would you want to come to dinner tonight?”
I was not expecting that. And Nesta was about 95% sure this was Elain’s doing.
“Why?”
“I want you there," Feyre told her as if it were obvious.
“Why?” Nesta asked again. She hadn't seen Feyre since Thanksgiving despite her sister living just on the outskirts of the city.
That had been weeks ago.
“It's complicated," Feyre responded quietly. She seemed to pause before finding the words. "I've been so worried about Cassian, we all have. He'd never been deployed for that long - five months. It was scary. I guess I took that out on you. I don't know why..."
She drifted off. Nesta held her breath.
"I'm sure Elain told you, but he's home now. I've been more myself since he returned, and I want you to come to dinner. I… miss you.”
She rubbed her temple. “I don’t know, Feyre.”
I don't know if I can pretend to be okay for an entire night. I don't know if you even fucking want me there or if you just feel obligated. I don't know if I can be in the same room as your douchebag boyfriend. I don't know if I can be surrounded by your friends, most of whom seem to dislike me. I don't know if I can behave like a normal fucking person.
I don't know.
“Please?” The plea was soft, quiet. It was like she was almost desperate. But for what?
Nesta looked out the window where a blue jay - their dad's favorite bird - was perched on a bare tree branch. The leaves had long ago fallen, leaving the world naked and vulnerable. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”
-------------------------
Feyre embraced her with an awkward hug when Nesta and Elain walked into the house. Nesta patted her on the back lightly, uncomfortable with the physical touch. Luckily, no one else seemed incline to embrace her. Rhys actually seemed to make sure he was as far away as possible.
Elain, on the other hand, gave everyone a hug. Mor gave a laugh as she squeezed Elain back, Aurra watching them with a smile. Interestingly enough, when Elain greeted Azriel with a hug, his tanned cheeks glowed red. It was almost imperceptible, but Nesta noticed.
Feyre took a step back to assess her. Nesta could see the judgement in her sister's eyes as she took in Nesta's noticeably thinner body. Luckily, however, she wasn't given the chance to comment on it when Elain piped up, "Where's Cassian? Nesta still hasn't met him yet."
"He's running a bit late," Rhys answered, glancing down at his phone. "Should be here in about ten minutes."
Everyone began to make their way into the dining room and Nesta followed. However, she was quickly tugged to the side when Amren swooped in out of nowhere and basically dragged Nesta into the privacy of the hallway. She stopped, crossed her arms over her chest, and glared at Nesta.
“Where have you been?” Amren demanded.
"What do you mean?" Nesta asked, playing dumb.
She hadn't spoken to Amren in a long time, even though they had each others' numbers. Even though Amren had repeatedly texted her, asking to get coffee or go for a walk or something else of the sorts. All of which went unanswered.
Amren rolled her eyes, and Nesta was convinced they went to the back of her head for a good minute. "Don't play dumb with me, Nesta."
“I don’t know, working?"
"Is that a question?" Amren rose a deadly brow.
Nesta huffed and mirrored Amren's angry stance. "Why are you interrogating me?"
“Because you've been radio silent for weeks. I had to ask Elain if you were still fucking alive," Amren explained. Then, she leaned in close like she didn't want anyone to hear. "I was worried about you, you bitch."
Nesta let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, okay? I've been busy. I do want to hang out, it's just that..." she trailed off.
"What? It's just that what?"
Nesta stared at the floor, unable to form words.
"Nesta, are you okay?" Amren asked, her voice softer.
Just tell her. Fucking tell her.
I was almost raped.
Just the thought was enough to make Nesta want to puke. She couldn't, it was too much and she wouldn't even be able to fucking say it and it's her fault, all her fault.
She breathed in through her nose and looked back up at Amren. She shot her the most fake smile she'd ever given. "I'm good. Seriously, I just got busy. It won't happen again."
Nesta saw the skepticism in Amren's eyes. But she conceded with a small sigh. "Well, don't do it again, okay? I seriously thought you were fucking murdered or some shit."
Nesta just nodded. Amren looked at her once more before gesturing with her chin back to the dining room. Nesta followed her.
When they rounded the corner, she stopped dead in her tracks.
Because sitting next to Feyre was the man who had tried to break into her apartment.
“Nesta!" Feyre exclaimed, calling her over from where she sat. "This is Cassian. Cassian, this is my sister, Nesta.”
Nesta simply stared at him like a deer in headlights and he stared at her, his lips parted in surprise. He was wearing a grey sweater, his long hair hanging down, no longer in a bun like it was the last time. He tucked it behind one ear.
"Are you stalking me or something?" Nesta said incredulously.
"I could ask you the same," Cassian retorted cheekily.
Feyre looked between them, a confused expression written on her face. "Do you guys know each other or something?"
"Something like that," Nesta mumbled.
Everyone's eyes were on them as they waited for an answer.
"Well as everyone knows, I live in the same building as Nesta and Elain," Cassian explained, waving a hand to the two sisters. "The other night, I got stupid drunk with a friend. He drove me back to my place and me, drunk off my fucking ass, tried to get into their apartment thinking it was mine."
The entire room erupted into laughter, Rhys choking on his food and Azriel looking up as if reasoning with the Gods.
"So when Nesta opened the door," Cassian continued, "she nearly beat me to death with a baseball bat."
Another round of laughter.
"Overreact much?"
Everyone's eyes flew to where Nesta sat. They seemed shocked. Nesta was too.
She didn't know why she said it, why she let it bother her. He was just so fucking frustrating, even his mere presence.
Cassian stuck his tongue out at her.
Feyre interrupted, her jaw agape. "You guys are acting like children."
Nesta got quiet after that. The conversation continued, thankfully taking the attention off her. As everyone laughed and conversed, Cassian looked over at her. His smile disappeared when he met Nesta's gaze. She just stared back at him, lips in a thin line. He seemed to try to gauge her reaction carefully, but her face was blank.
And so the night went on. Nesta didn't say another word after what happened. She avoided eye contact with Cassian. Avoided conversation with everyone.
It was half past eight when they all began clearing their dishes. Mor, Aurra, Azriel, and Cassian were all gathered in the kitchen cleaning up. Feyre and Rhys had excused themselves. It was just Nesta and Elain who remained in the dining room.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” Nesta leaned over to whisper to Elain.
Elain nodded. "We'll head out right after, yeah?" She must've noticed the exhaustion in Nesta's face.
Nesta agreed, excusing herself from the table.
She walked down the hallway, peeking through every door to find the bathroom. She was about to push through a door on the left that was slightly cracked open when she heard voices coming from within.
“I’m worried about him. He’s not the same.” It was Feyre.
“He never is when he comes home, Feyre," Rhys said dejectedly. "It’s happened before. Cass just needs time.”
Cass.
Nesta tiptoed closer to the door, just enough for her to listen.
“No, what he needs is to see someone!”
“I’ve tried. He doesn’t want to go.”
“Try harder, Rhys!” Feyre cried, her tone frustrated.
“We can’t just force him to go, okay?”
“Are you seeing what I’m seeing? Do you even notice how lost your own fucking brother is? Do you even care?!”
Silence.
“Rhysand, I’m sorry. Gods, I’m so sorry. I know you care. More than anyone. I just… I don’t want to lose him.”
She heard them both breathing deeply.
“C’mere,” Rhys murmured. Nesta heard Feyre's footsteps as she presumably walked toward him.
“We’ll figure it out, okay?”
“Together.”
“Always, Feyre darling.”
They got quiet, probably embracing each other. Nesta crept away from their bedroom door and into the bathroom before they could find her.
------------------------------------
Elain and Nesta had just unlocked their apartment door when Nesta groaned. “Oh, shit, I forgot my wallet in the car." She fished around in her bag to make sure it wasn't in there. "I’ll be right back.”
"I'll leave the door unlocked," Elain called behind her as Nesta made her way to the elevator.
She stepped between the doors, hitting the button for the parking garage. Gods, she just wanted to go to sleep. The night had been exhausting.
After a minute or so, she was approaching her car. She unlocked her door and grabbed her wallet that was in the middle console when a pair of headlights flashed past her, a car pulling into the spot next to her.
Before panic could set in, Nesta recognized who was driver the car through the window.
Cassian.
His car turned off and he emerged from the driver's door just a moment later. He looked over where Nesta was clutching her wallet to her chest staring at him. He gave her a tight-lipped smile before turning away and walking towards the elevator. Nesta had no choice to follow.
She walked just a few feet behind him as they made their way to the elevator.
"I'm sorry," Cassian told her, his voice sincere. He cast a concerned glance her way. "For embarrassing you at dinner. And if I scared you that night."
"You didn't embarrass me," Nesta snapped at him. "You were just being annoying as hell."
His entire body seemed to relax at her insult. Cassian tried to hide his smirk but failed. "I'm glad to see you're still your normal, hotheaded self. You got me worried at dinner with your stoic behavior."
Now she really glared at him. "Don't talk like you know me. You don't."
"Oh, sweetheart," he teased. "I think we're more similar than you think."
She scoffed. "I think that hubris of yours will be your downfall."
"You know, it's quite sexy when you use literary devices to insult me," he joked.
Nesta froze.
Was he coming onto her? Chills ran down her spine when she thought of the last time a man expressed interest in her.
It's not the same, she tried to convince yourself. He's not Tomas.
Cassian must've expected a heated response to his comment because he looked surprised when Nesta simply stared straight ahead. She seemed to be in a world of her own, oblivious to everything around her. Any trace of anger was gone, replaced by a cool indifference.
Cassian's face fell. "Nesta, I didn't mean to - "
He was cut off as the elevator door dinged opened and Nesta swiftly walked out.
-------------------------------
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