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strangersmunsons · 3 months

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💖 Eddie Munson x Reader Fic Recs 💖

I just wanna show some appreciation for a few of my all-time favorite Eddie fics! Here’s a handful of the series & oneshots that have really stuck out to me in all the time I've been reading - there's A TON of great writers on here who have posted really stellar work :^)

List under the cut!

june baby by @luveline - luveline jade u are a celebrity to me. this was the first Eddie story I ever read and it is so beautiful. it's tender. it's melancholy. it's realistic. it's gorgeous. it honestly makes me feel something I've never felt reading any other fanfiction.

oh, baby by @inknopewetrust - another one of my first Eddie fics! the feeling that this series invoked in me is what I aspire to invoke in others for my own writing someday. it's just so sweet and funny and made me nostalgic, in the same way that watching '80s teen films do, except it's even better because Eddie is in this one. I wanted so badly to just dive into the story and really experience it for myself.

hoping I'll find [a glimpse of us] by @inknopewetrust - this smashed my heart into 1000 pieces, and then promptly glued it very sloppily back together and I've reread it like six times just to reinflict the pain. I love rockstar!Eddie stories that maintain some realism about what that type of relationship would look like, and this fic does that SO perfectly. masterclass in angst right here.

dancing with myself by @ambrossart - this one hits close to home! and even though it hurts along the way, there's a happy ending that it builds so nicely towards! it's beautifully paced & the reader is very funny. you can just tell that the her backstory & relationship w/ Eddie was so carefully thought out, it really feels like this was written with so much love! and I LOVE that it doesn't paint Chrissy as a villain.

10 things I hate about you by @spideyanakin - so glad that we all collectively agree that Patrick is Eddie-coded. and in this fic the parallels are there, without Eddie sacrificing his own unique character - that part is handled really beautifully! and the ST characters are worked into the original movie's narrative so well. it's the perfect mix of fluff and drama!

freaky friday by @jo-harrington - I adore this series! I love this version of Eddie so much I could cry, he is so sweet and selfless, I want to give him the entire world. and an Eddie & Steve body swap? 10/10. lindsay and jamie lee, eat your hearts out.

to know you're mine by @blueywrites - oooohboy. I almost didn’t read this one (just because I would normally avoid swinging/cheating in a fic) but I'm so glad I did, because it was like being on the homer's odyssey of 18+ ST fanfiction. it’s wild. bluey girl u were insane for this. and i mean that as an extremely high compliment. i was so damn invested!

i will wait by @abibliophobiaa, @blueywrites, @breddiemunson, @myosotisa, @fracturedarkness - there's three chapters, it's on hiatus, I don't care, I will literally keep reading these three chapters over and over again and just fill in the blanks myself if I must. it's that good. you guys are amazing. I am totally enthralled.

rumor by @msgexymunson - this is what turned me on to older!Eddie. I love him, and I desire him carnally, and specifically this version of him. when I daydream about Eddie sweeping me off my feet, I think about Eddie in this series. he's everything to me. I even wrote my own older neighbor Eddie fic because of this!

trapped under ice by @munson-blurbs - the iron grip this fic had me in...I'm still going back and re-reading my favorite parts. it's beautifully developed. this version of Eddie is so real and believable. Harris is my favorite kid he's ever been given. an all-time, truly, I can't sing its praises enough.

siren!eddie by @parkermunson - a monster-ish Eddie fic! I'm a sucker for anything that incorporates mermaids and sirens and the like, so I really love this concept. it's a great story, I love our protective, doting fishboy, and hope to see more of him!

use me by @reysorigins - simultaneously the nastiest and sweetest fic ever. smut, but it's interspersed with these moments of such deep-seated love and yearning between Eddie and the reader that it made me want to cry! incredible piece.

mine and yours by @muertawrites - ahhhh this one is so so sweet! dating is so fucking hard, I think we could all use a comforting, reassuring moment with a sweetheart like Eddie, who is especially kind to us in this fic. I love the way he’s written here.

our patron saint of the arts by @storiesbyrhi - I love an artsy, crafty reader! I feel like Eddie would be sooo into someone who’s creatively-minded like him. this is the dream relationship, basically, these two are adorable together! (and Eddie in a dress! 😗)

And this is just a sample of what’s out there! Some of these are fics that I read very early on, even before I started this blog. I was more shy then, too, so I feel like I never showed them the appreciation I should have! You guys are all so talented, these works are very inspiring to me.

To readers: I encourage you to let the writers know how much you enjoy their work! Reblog! Leave a comment, even if it’s just in the tags! Write a reply, or send them a message, even if it’s on anon! I’m trying to get better at doing these things myself, too 💖

#eddie munson fic recs #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie x you #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson reader insert #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson series #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst

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danwhobrowses · 2 years

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3 Ways I Think One Piece Could End

Well, since Shonen Jump has forced a break out of One Piece, I thought I'd throw another rare theory video into the mix.

Aside from the Pan D. Aman joke post I made a while back, I haven't wanted to think about how One Piece would end, but with Wano looking to wrap up next chapter and the final saga beginning, the final chapters will soon be upon us before we know it.

So, in the times I have thought about One Piece ending, I'm throwing 3 ways I feel One Piece could end, and be satisfying doing so

Potential Spoilers up ahead, probably best to be up to date with at least the anime (ep.1028), probably as early as Ep.1000 tops

To start I'm going to point out that I firmly DON'T believe that the story will end with Luffy finding the One Piece, I think there will be a little bit after that. This is mainly because Whitebeard and Rayleigh have noted that finding the One Piece will turn the world upside down, so there will likely be a considerable fallout from finding the One Piece too.

With the likes of the Yonko and at the least Kid also gunning for the One Piece, there will likely be a convergence when the Straw Hats arrive to Laugh Tale anyway, which will potentially lead to the grandest and greatest battle of the series.

With that in mind, I will rank the 3 in which is most satisfying to me as a finale, so let's start with No.3

3 - Luffy Bets his Straw Hat on the Next Generation

I'm sure we all expect that Luffy is 98% likely to not be able to return his hat to Shanks as he intends or that he will still manage to keep it under some circumstance, and will then pass it onto another like him to pass on his will. I see this probable within a timeskip of probably aged 40 Luffy in the good timeline hanging with his crew all still happy and well, so the recipient is unlikely to be Momo or Tama or Makino's son.

It works story-wise as a cyclic ending, much less bittersweet than the possibility of Luffy repeating Roger's antics that triggered the era in death, but I rank this the least because it'd feel too obvious, too tidy and would imply that all the things we don't see the Straw Hats achieve were simply achieved off-screen. I'd also worry for the fan peer pressure Oda may be subjected to if he left the possibility of a legacy sequel.

2 - The Straw Hat Pirates Disband

A sad ending it may be, but I could clearly see Luffy imitating Roger's pose in this part of the manga having completing everything he set out to do. There would be a finality in the adventure ending, not just for Luffy, but for Oda and the audience.

This would very much be a 'smile because it happened, not because it's over' kind of endings, but I rank it higher than Luffy giving his hat away because of it being a proper ending, preventing the sequel threat the previous had while also maintaining the cyclic nature of imitating Roger rather than Shanks.

1 - The Adventure Doesn't End

A cheat you say? Wishful thinking you accuse? Well I told you this was ranked on most satisfying to me, didn't I?

Finding Laugh Tale and the One Piece is a given, but do we expect Luffy to achieve his dream of Pirate King, become the freest person in the world, and do nothing with it? There's also the matter that other crewmates' dreams don't simply end by finding Laugh Tale; Nami's map of the world would be incomplete, Chopper would have diseases still to cure, there will still be more history for Robin to discover, more sea to sail for Franky on his ship, more joy to spread from music for Brook and food for Sanji, and more stories for Usopp to regale.

This is why I like this option the best, because the end of one story, one dream, one voyage, isn't the end of everything, the crew are now free to seek more; more dreams, more islands, more lies to come true

The story of 'One Piece' may be over, but an open-ended finale of the Straw Hats setting sea again, plotting a new route around the world this time, would probably be my ideal ending for them, and something more on brand for Luffy to do. While the sequel pressure is still there, in a way the open end allows the fans the freedom to make the crew's next journey(s) their own way

And on to a New Adventure.

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #straw hat pirates #roronoa zoro #one piece nami #one piece usopp #vinsmoke sanji #tony tony chopper #nico robin #one piece franky #one piece brook #one piece jinbe #one piece theory #shanks one piece #gol d roger

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dzpenumbra · 11 months

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6/27/23

Alright, let's dive into this head-first. I'm having a bit of a meltdown.

I streamed tonight. I did some work on my abstract piece, about an hour. Then I ate dinner and watched skate videos on-stream, then played Session. A guy I didn't recognize came in. He said he found me through another stream like a year and a half ago and really liked my art and wanted to support me.

He DM'd me and we chatted after. And I've been in full panic-mode since. Because this guy legitimately wants a tattoo design commission. And I'm over here like... bro, I haven't done a commission in like... 7 years? At least?

He tuned into my stream when I was drawing the owl that is my profile picture on here. I drew that on stream in colored pencil, it took me over 40 hours. He wanted that piece on the back of his shoulder.

I'm gonna level here. I don't know how to price my shit. I am absolutely lousy at it. I always have been. And I have always underpriced my shit, and the vast majority of my work has just been given away for free. Because I have really low self esteem and cave under pressure way too easily... and just get super anxious. It's overwhelming. And I just, the whole fucking process is horrible for me. I hate talking money. I don't even like talking about bills that I'm getting. Just money as a fucking concept is just really fucking uncomfortable for me. Obviously not a great problem to have in fucking America, yeah?

I scrambled and... tried to find a scan of the owl, so I could just... give him a scanned copy? And then charge less. I don't know, I have an idea how to charge for hand-drawn shit. Originals. Art. I can price things that are already done. But like... prints? Scans? I don't know. And this is a tattoo, it would be weird if someone bought the original piece and this guy has a tattoo of it. I don't know. It just all feels weird all around.

I've gotten really settled in to this place of just worrying about making things. Just keep creating, just keeping making new and interesting things. This whole sales piece is absolutely nerve-racking and immobilizing. And I feel like it immediately makes me look unprofessional.

So... I did the math on the piece... 40+ hours rounding down, at $25 an hour... that's $1000 as a base... Hand-drawn original, realism, full size. I priced it to him as $1500. I'd let the original go for that, I guess. I still have the original, it's sitting in my portfolio.

So I just told him that as a reference point, so he knew what he was getting into. And he came back with some corrections. Reduced size, black and white, less detail. He wanted 7"x5", a Barn Owl, B+W and I guess a bit stylized (i.e. less photorealistic detail). So... I quoted him $350. And he came back with $300. On the premise that he's going to have to pay the tattooist 300-350 as well, plus a tip.

Quick tangent here. Really think this one over. Who do you pay more? The original artist of your tattoo, or the person tracing their work into your skin? I mean... you don't want the tattooist to fuck it up, sure... But like... are you saying the act of tattooing someone else's work is worth more than the act of creating the art in the first place? And... you don't have to tip me? I hadn't really thought about it much before, it's a weird thing. Especially since I've designed several tattoos for former friends, and they went to an artist who fucked up my work. In the end, the buyer was the one who got fucked, but yeah. It just kinda sucks.

Anyway. I'm afraid I might've lowballed myself there. And then he brought me even lower. And now I'm just like... well... it better be right. Because now we're agreed. And now I have to do a commission.

It's not the end of the world, I'm just freaking out. I don't want to fuck it up. I don't know what medium to use, I don't know whether to do digital or pencil. If I do pencil, how do I get it to him? Do I mail it? How do I process payments? PayPal? I guess? Do I keep records of this shit?

I feel way out of my depth. And I feel like I have to act like I know what I'm doing. Which I tried to do, I think it worked well enough. I just feel like I'm going to fuck this up. And the hardest part? I don't have anyone to talk to about it. At all. No one to run prices by for second thoughts, no one to help me research stuff, no one to reassure or ground me. I'm just swimming in the anxiety and self-doubt and depression, barely keeping my head above water.

I hate this. I should be excited. I should be happy. And it's one fucking commission. This will cover like... two orders of groceries. And will likely take me a full week of work.

I don't like this way of working. I like coming up with my own ideas and putting the pieces together. I don't like trying to guess what someone else is picturing, and trying to get close.

This is all very foreign. Very weird.

The weirdest part? In an alternate timeline, this is what I would've been doing full-time for 10 years now. Plus the actual tattooing too. Getting out of college, my first idea was to start a company that I tentatively named "Evo Customs" which was a design company that would put customized art on anything. Skateboard, helmet, shirt, computer tower, you name it. Then I transitioned into pursuing tattooing. I was heavily encouraged by my friend, and we spoke to my then tattooist about it. She was a one-woman operation working out of a pretty small town. She pointed me in the direction of the program that she went to, and offered for me to finish up my skin-time hours with her, and she'd sign off on an apprenticeship and I'd be good to go either work with her or open up my own shop. Welp... I went and did the program, and I came back, and I went to her... and she said "what are you talking about?" And then she hired some teenager to work her register and apprentice under her instead. And I was absolutely crushed, devastated.

All of my tattoo designs - the one I did for my friend's ex-wife (for free), the one I did for my former best friend (for free), the one I did for my former best friend's husband (for free). Even four of my own tattoos which were all self-designed, she inked them all. And she just walked the other way and acted like it never happened.

I was never able to find another artist who would take me on. I just transitioned into tattoo design instead. I had all my tattoo equipment in boxes for years. Inks, cups, ointments, bands, needles, my machines, stencils, all of it. Last year, I threw it all away. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I felt like I just gave the fuck up. But, I think I gave up long before that. And this was just... cleaning house. Stopping myself from clinging.

When I went to vocational rehabilitation in winter 2019, right before the pandemic hit, I mentioned my past aspirations of being a tattooist to the person who was working with me. They urged me to go to a shop about 40 minutes south of me. They had a connection there. I really struggle to just... interact with strangers in a professional setting. Which is pretty clear right here tonight, I get super insecure and super anxious. I act confident, I'm sure it doesn't read as though I'm anxious, but I'm fucking losing it inside. So... it's really hard for me to do. I can't really explain it, it just is and no matter how much I try to puff out my chest and "be a man" and just ignore it or whatever, it just tears me apart. So, because of that, I really just needed a professional connection. And this was supposed to be it. This was the first one I had gotten, an in. Someone to vouch for me.

They set up an appointment with me in the middle of winter at fucking like 8 AM. So I get there early, and I'm sitting in the parking lot for like 20 minutes freezing my balls off drinking coffee. Then I go inside and they have me sit in the waiting room. And I flip through their art books and they had some pretty cool shit, but I was just trying not to completely freak out. And then the guy brings me back and I introduce myself and then pull out my phone and start showing him some pictures and he just has no fucking idea what's going on. At all. He was just like "okay, so which of these pieces did you want done?" He scheduled the fucking meeting and he thought I was there for a tattoo, not a fucking job interview. I don't know if the fucking state agency that set that up dropped the ball or if it was that guy... but I got a nice talk from this dude on how he trusted someone to be an apprentice once and he "learned that fucking lesson" because the guy went and set up his own shop... like an hour away... in a different county... and he saw it as "competing with him". And he didn't want to "train his competition". In fact, his entire shop was... him, his wife, his daughter and her boyfriend or fiancée. And that was it. So... I went there for fucking nothing. And that whimper was the death of my tattoo career ambitions. I completely tapped out after that. And last year, when I had to move and sort through all my shit? I finally tossed my tattoo gear. All of it. For good. The only thing that survived was my Kuro Sumi outlining ink, which I used for the goat skull and staining the wooden beads on my necklace. That's why it's such a powerfully symbolic medium for me, because of how much gravity in my personal life is attached to it.

Can you tell this commission is making me flash back to some really devastating memories? I'm trembling a bit and my chest is a bit tight.

It really hurt to lose that purpose, that direction. Even more so that... I just sorta let this social anxiety barrier stop me from approaching other shops. I fucking hate this emotional brick wall that stops me from going. I hate it so much. Like seriously, if one friend went with me? To a local tattoo shop, or something. I would gladly go. But alone, I am way too timid, way too passive, too chill, too back-seat. My interest in working at their shop wouldn't even come up in conversation unless they brought it up. I'd have to like... become a regular. The awkwardness of it just makes my skin crawl.

And what upsets me the most is that some people love doing that. And they won't help me. It's so aggravating. Like... this is clearly one of my greatest weaknesses that has completely crippled my ability to establish myself as a professional artist, and it clearly stems from mental health stuff... and I can't get a single living organism to help me do it. I just need to... wait... and slowly chip away at my mental health barriers... until I can do it myself. It might take a year, it might take 10 years, however long it takes to gradually get to the point where I can comfortably interact like a human. And meanwhile, I'm surrounded by others who can easily, intuitively do this. And could easily help me out, and vouch for me in the process. But they don't. Because "I should be doing it for myself".

Can you tell I'm a bit upset about this? XD

There's nothing more frustrating to me than having a small nuanced problem... that's hard to articulate to others, that they don't seem to really understand because they don't share that problem. For instance - having a trauma response associated with going grocery shopping pre-food-delivery-apps. People who don't suffer from this have no fucking idea how massive of a difference just going along with that person to the store can be. And it costs like... nothing. But I've always heard shit like "can't you just do that yourself" "why do I need to do that for you?" Shit like that. Like I'm just fucking lazy. Not like it takes me 45 minutes to pep talk myself into going out there, then I'm wading through a lava river of emotional overwhelm and every bell in my head that says "your life is in danger and we don't even know what from" is clanging. And I'm alone through it. And I have to fake a fucking cheery conversation with the fucking checkout lady.

Since those days (that was probably... close to 10 years ago when I had that grocery store problem, I've gotten much better with it over the past several years) I have developed experience and a "script" for those kinds of interactions. I learned. It took me a long time, lots of practice, lots of exposure, but I got there. This one? The work one? Negative. I have very little experience, and all of it has been bad. And honestly...

I'm just getting really sick and tired of having to be good at everything and do everything myself.

I had this butting of heads with my therapist before. "What's the point of a social network if I'm going to have to do all this myself anyway?" Like... all I've looked for in life is a wingman, someone to vouch and make introductions, to help in literally any way. So I don't have to go around and method act being a fucking extrovert. I have been in extreme isolation for over 4 years. I am not good at pretending to be an extrovert. I should not be expected to be good at extroverted behaviors, I have no idea why anyone would expect me, of all people, to be in any way good at that. It should be expected that those encounters would be extremely overwhelming for me.

Who the fuck am I ranting at? XD I don't even know anymore. I'm just sorta shaking my fist at the sky pissed off that I don't have anyone to like... brainstorm this stuff with. Run price quotes by, shit like that. I don't know.

And I guess I'm just kinda upset because... I don't really want to do commissions. I kinda just want people to be supporting what I'm doing now. I worked pretty hard to develop the rhythm I have now, where I cultivate a mindset for creativity to form, then seize it when inspiration strikes and... I'm trying to incorporate streaming into the process. I finally, like... a year ago?... took the plunge and dedicated myself towards Fine Art. My intentions being... work that is displayed publicly. Private ownership feels... secondary, optional. I decided to move more towards trying to get stuff in galleries. Again... with some pieces.

Okay, you know what? Maybe I'm freaking out because I don't know. I don't know what I do. And I'm kinda having an existential crisis because of it. Over winter, I polished stones and made jewelry, and made a custom painted hoodie. Spring, I did The Path (a fine art video/digital art piece), the goat skull and about 10 abstract ink pieces. Now, I'm working on a mini Zen Garden and my Fractal digital abstract piece which will probably eventually be an ink and cloth tapestry.

Everything I have done, I'd have to brainstorm pricing individually. I have given it zero thought. The necklace and the mala I could come up with a decent price for, I guess. The hoodie, too, or a custom piece like it. Even the skull, or my abstract drawings. But I literally haven't even given it thought. I don't want to care about that. I wish all I had to do was just worry about the process. For the past decade, that's all I've known. And this is all very foreign and bewildering. I don't want to "screw it up".

So yeah. I went with 300, took the 50 under asking price. Don't really know why. I just did. And he sent me some reference. And I'll just figure that out tomorrow. The pose, the size, the medium, how to pay, all that. I'll just wake up after my night of what I'm sure will inevitably be night terrors at this point... XD Put on a pot of coffee and just... figure out what I'm doing.

I was saying today on stream - I want to get back into representational work. I want to do a piece that is of something. And I was considering doing the Blue Jay that visits me. I wish I could break through these intense overwhelming emotions and see the good in this.

This is such high praise. A person who has barely spent any time around my work... wants to pay me $300 because he fell in love with my work a year and a half ago and wants to get it tattooed on his body permanently. I think I'm in shock. And denial, a bit. I think my self esteem is so devastatingly low that... I don't fully believe it's happening? And I'm adding a shit-ton of pressure to make sure... I "get it right".

I'm scared. I'm scared I'm gonna fuck it up. The piece itself, or already fucked up by underpricing myself. I was going to ask for half up-front and then half when I finish. I think that's fair. Just so neither of us flake out on it. Once I get the details ironed out on exactly what he wants, but before pencil touching paper.

God, I hate business. Ugh. I just want to draw and create and make cool, interesting shit. And have people donate or something. Idk. I'm just not enjoying myself right now.

That said, I got my package today. Sheets that actually fit my "new" mattress, the sieves and a suncatcher that's like a multifaceted prism that catches sunlight and refracts rainbows around the room. I'm excited to see that in action now that the smoke has cleared a bit.

Man, I almost got away from the topic of freaking out. XD I'm scared of disappointing this guy. I'm scared of fucking up the drawing, or taking too long or something. I'm sure I won't... I'm just... I'm very anxious. So... to remedy this... I'll just not stream that piece. And apologize to him about that, but... yeah, fuck it, I can just say I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately and I feel like I'd do better work behind closed doors. I'm sure he'll understand. It's usually just the sketching phase that I feel like that with. When it's just starting to take form. Once I've got that down, I'd be fine with streaming the piece taking shape.

Anyway, enough of that. I need to wrap up. Besides this giant turn of events, my upstairs neighbors were being loud as shit. The boyfriend was back over again last night, they were really loud, then there was an actual child visiting and running all over the apartment, and they were talking really loud. All evening. Until like 10. And that's just what it is. I was cranky about it. I wish I could be happier for other people. Maybe that's why I crave the late late hours. It's so quiet, so peaceful, so still.

I also shaved my head and my beard today. Buzzed, gone. Fuck it. The only reason I grew it out was because the doctor told me the clippers were giving me micro-abrasions and those were getting infected, but... we ruled that out. And he has no idea what this is. So I decided to just go back to shaving my head. It makes me a bit more insecure to have these big fucking weird pimple-like swollen red spots on my head, and have them super visible because my head is shaved... but what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't even get in to see a doctor about it, no one knows what this is. I did an antibiotic regimen, it did nothing. I do steroid cream, it makes them fade quicker, but they just come right back in different spots. I'm just waiting on a specialist. So, I might as well be comfortable in the process. And the cream is easier to put on when my head is shaved, so... there's that. Going on 2 years of dealing with this shit, I'm gonna be so much less anxious once these things are gone.

Okay, I'm going to do tarot and go to bed, it's super late.

Past - Two of Wands, inverted (Planning, scrutiny, taking risks and moving a plan forward. The active force needed to put a plan into motion.) Present - Four of Wands (Stability, a sense of completion. A major milestone, taking a moment to reflect on accomplishment so far, before moving to a new future.) Future - Three of Cups (Celebration, calling in good fortune, joy. Social gathering, a heartfelt belonging in a community.)

Alright, we're starting with inverted Two of Wands. I actually pulled some cards when I was setting up my webcam earlier today and Two of Wands came up. That was my first reaction. It was inverted then too. Two of Wands is planning, surveying the landscape. Inversion representing a blockage, barrier or dissonance around this symbol. Difficulty or struggle planning or seeing ahead. Hmm...

This is connected to Four of Wands in the Present position. And it made me smile. Four of Wands is a milestone, a memorable event and the ensuing celebration. The image this artist provides is a birthday party. Fitting, that's what I should be doing now...

And this concludes with Three of Cups. Upright, for once. Fucking rare in my readings! (At least it feels that way, definitely rare in my life...) Three of Cups is the "party card", it's a celebration shared with loved ones. It's the card I immediately thought of when I saw Four of Wands, because I was like "I could call this the 'celebration card', but I already have the 'party card'."

Okay, with the definitions all added in... let's stitch it all together. So... I've been struggling to take risks and move shit forward... but I've landed here. Somehow. And this is actually a milestone. A pretty big one. And this will lead to a celebration, one shared with others.

I'm going to add this on while I'm here. When that guy came into my chat, complimenting me and being super friendly and nice? I thought he was fucking with me. I thought he was full of shit, or like... scheming something. He mentioned a streamer's name "buddha" who I... I have like... never been in their room. It was there like... maybe once or twice? Years ago. And this guy said he knew me from that chat... and came to see my art... and fell in love... and a year and a half later he wants to commission me to get my art. When I have like zero fucking viewers. It was really hard to believe. I felt like I was getting conned or scammed, like he was setting me up for something. I feel bad that I was a bit harsh and skeptical of him. Just getting that out there.

The bonus placeholder card was inverted Two of Cups, a new one. That one is a strong connection forming, but... with the disruption of inversion. So... that's a thing.

I'm fucking wiped. Physically, emotionally. Super drained. Heavy workout, giant anxiety/depression/trauma episodes for two hours straight. I'm just bushed. I'm gonna go pass out, hopefully sleep decent and figure all of this out tomorrow over coffee.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

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whoree321 · 3 years

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the bad batch + what romance/rom com movies they watch with you

each of the bad batch x gn!reader

ok first and foremost i really truly believe to the pits of my soul that every single one of these fuckos loves romances and you cannot under any circumstances change my mind

ALSO it’s a gender neutral reader except kinda in echo’s theres like a very brief quote regarding breasts but like i still think even that is pretty gender neutral tbh

so anyway

Hunter: Pretty Woman

this is not the first time that i have publicly declared that i think hunter has a deep rooted connection to the movie pretty woman and it will not be the last

first of all this movie is incredibly soothing to hunters overwhelming savior complex

second of all hunter is literally richard gere (debonaire but emotionally distant gentleman that learns to love) and julia roberts (hooker with a heart of gold) at the same time

he was a little skeptical the first time you put it on but he instantly fell in love with it

the humor, the sensuality, the class divide, the glamour, the unconventional cinderella story of it all. it just really butters his bread

after the first time, when you suggest watching a movie and you pick this one he’ll act very aloof about it (“whatever you want cyar’ika, it doesn’t matter to me”) but secretly he’s really really happy bc it’s one of his favorites (you def know this and def pick it more often)

he absolutely hates the scene when stucky the lawyer hits vivian. like it doesn’t matter how many times he watches it he will fully turn his head away from the screen and say “I don’t like this part” and when it’s over he nuzzles a little closer into you and very tenderly kisses your forehead

he loves the soundtrack too. like he fully exposes how much he likes the movie when you catch him singing or humming “pretty woman” or “it must have been love” absently to himself (you kept it to yourself for a while but eventually you just had to tease him about it. he just smiled a little sheepishly and admitted he liked the songs before promptly changing the subject)

hunter also lowkey definitely wants to recreate the ending where richard gere shows up to her apartment in the white limo with you bc he thinks it’s such a sweet gesture and he wants to treat you like royalty

Crosshair: 10 Things I Hate About You

if there’s one thing about crosshair it’s that he’s a sucker for the enemies to lovers genre

maybe its just him projecting (spoiler alert it most certainly is) but he really enjoys watching the drama conflama of a miserable bastard be tricked into love

and really that’s the true essence of 10 Things I Hate About You

he will grumble and bitch and moan about not wanting to watch a ‘chick flick’ when you put it on, but 15 minutes in and he’s hooked

he has strong negative opinions on literally every single character except for kat and patrick

(crosshair really really wants to think he’s patrick but when it comes down to it he is katarina stratford in every single possible way)

he doesn’t say a word throughout the entire movie but you can tell when he’s annoyed at like bianca or cameron or joey bc he will openly scoff at them

will absolutely hum along in your ear during the “can’t take my eyes off you” scene and make out with you during the paintball scene

(seriously he wants to be patrick verona so bad)

when it’s over and you ask him what he thought he’ll roll his eyes and say “i guess it could have been worse” but his little smirk let’s you know he enjoyed it a lot more than he’s willing to admit

Tech: 50 Shades of Grey

ok hear me out on this one

tech is a huge movie talker. like subtitles are a non-negotiable if you wanna be able to take in any of the movies dialogue bc tech is most likely gonna make commentary over it the whole time

this makes him absolutely indescribably so much fun to watch bad/corny movies with

he will go off about EVERYTHING. the plot, the dialogue, the acting, the costuming, the music, the production quality. nothing and no one is safe. whether you just enjoy letting him talk at you or you join in on the roast, cheesy movies are a hoot between you two

and honey. 50 shades is one of THE cheesiest movies ever

you and tech will literally spend the entire duration of the movie tearing it to shreds

and the thing is tech is a very sarcastic, funny guy when he wants to be (and when it comes to you he definitely wants to be) so by the end of it he will have you in absolute stitches from laughing at the ridiculousness of both the movie and him

with any of the other batchers watching a movie like this either turns into a shy, slightly awkward experience (wrecker, echo) or an incorrigibly horny experience (crosshair, hunter)

but in this context tech literally has no shame or squeamishness about sexual things (why should he it’s a natural biological process?) so to yall the sex stuff is just another thing to roast

literally christian grey could be fully tying dakota johnson down and flogging her and tech will be like “in the last 3 minutes they have panned up to her nipples 4 times. this is criminally shoddy cinematography”

even tho he’s busy giving a detailed play by play critique, he never fails to keep some sort of physical contact with you (wrapping an arm around you and running his hand up and down your skin, playing with your fingers or your hair) so you know he’s enjoying spending this time with you despite his nasty words about the movie

also 1000% after you watch it tech will do extensive research on the ins and outs of bdsm and will have lots of hypotheses he wants to test out (as long as you’re willing and able ofc) ;)))

Wrecker: 13 Going On 30

of all the bad batch members, wrecker is the only one who unabashedly loves any movie that could be considered a chick flick

like he doesn’t even try to hide it or act like he’s too masculine for it. he loves romance and he’s proud of it

this man will have full marathons with you. rom coms, regular roms, tragic roms, hallmark roms, you name it and he’s game

his absolute favorite tho is 13 Going On 30

i feel like he has a huge soft spot for childhood best friends to lovers stories like he finds that type of lifelong partnership so endearing (and he loves to live vicariously through jenna since that type of romance was obviously never an option for him)

wrecker is also very childlike at heart and i think the idea of a 13 year old sweetheart trapped inside the body of a 30 year old cut throat magazine exec is so amusing to him (and maybe makes him feel just a little bit represented in the media)

he is definitely the type to completely engulf you in a cuddle for the entirety of the movie and he DEFINITELY cries into your shoulder at matty’s wedding when jenna is crying on the stoop with her dream house

he wants to try razzles so bad. like so bad. i think if he ever came across them somewhere he would barter at least one of his brothers for them

wrecker really just loves love and watching movies about it just reminds him of how lucky he is to have his own love story with you <3

Echo: The Princess Bride

i feel like it’s glaringly obvious why echo loves this movie

pirates. sword fighting. decades long revenge plots. the value of an honorable, loyal man. true love that never wavers even in the face of devastating tragedy and the darkest of hardships. clever but goofy humor.

echo considers this an action/adventure movie and NOT a romance movie (even tho it 100% totally is a romance movie) and requests to watch it very frequently

he can quote the whole thing. i’m seriously telling you echo loves the princess bride with his whole chest

even tho he refuses to admit it’s a love story above all else, he really does try to model himself in your relationship after wesley

like especially given what happened at the citadel and all the time you thought he was dead, the cinematic parellels are alive and present in y’alls relationship and he strives to be even half the man to you that wesley is to buttercup

literally in your day to day life he will sometimes respond to your requests with a smooth “as you wish ;)” (it doesn’t matter how many times he does it it still gives you butterflies)

when you watch the movie, he snuggles as close to you as possible and does his best to make youre comfy the whole time (he’s insecure about his prosthetics hurting you no matter how much you reassure him they don’t)

he just loves to be able to feel your heartbeat and your laugh when you giggle at the funny bits

every single time without fail at the part when buttercup is about to stab herself he leans down, ghosts his lips against the shell of your ear, and whispers the line in time with wesley: “there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours”

every single time without fail you wind up making out until he pulls away and tells you to watch the next part when wesley challenges humperdinck to a duel to the pain

echo just loves you to bits and wants you to know he’d endure a thousand fire swamps for you

Omega: Clueless

i have this really specific obsession with omega being a total girly girl and having very traditionally feminine interests as she keeps experiencing the universe and being exposed to a spectrum of gender expression beyond clone (masc and boring) and kaminoan (ugly)

so with that headcanon of her in mind, it’s vital to me that she sees clueless as soon as possible

clueless is an essential piece of media for a girl entering adolescence and i will die on this hill

it has literally everything you want and everything you need to develop into a well-rounded young woman

it’s so deliciously 90s and glamorama and valley girl humor and camp. its got meaningful female friendships and valuable life lessons and paul mf rudd

if there’s one thing you should encourage a burgeoning hetero teen girl to do, it’s to stick to dating guys like paul rudd in clueless. the earlier this message can be broadcast the better

the second you’re able to steal omega away from hunters watchful eyes (“hunter we’re just gonna watch finding nemo i swear!”) you show her this movie

at this point omega is not really a girly girl, but omega also has absolutely zero feminine influence in her life

the first time she sees clueless she is absolutely obsessed. like seriously she is so enamoured with the glitz and glam of cher horowitz

she asks you questions the entire time. she wants to know about EVERYTHING. the makeup, the clothes, the hair, the slang

(she definitely goes around saying stuff like “i’m totally bugging” for long enough afterwards that almost all of the boys have slipped up at least once with some ridiculous valley girl slang. you thought you were gonna die of laughter when you overheard tech say “as if!” to wrecker in the middle of an argument)

it just really introduces her to this whole world of femininity that she didn’t even know existed and she absolutely loves it

she makes you watch clueless with her seriously once a week at minimum. she begs you to style her hair like tai’s and you can’t help yourself when you happen to run across a little yellow plaid dress and buy it for her on sight

(hunter was gonna scold you for recklessly spending credits until he saw how omega almost cried from how happy she was for the gift)

honestly she enjoys the romance of it all and paul rudd is def her first celebrity crush but she enjoys more that you and her now have this special thing of hair and nails and pretty dresses

she loves how confident and beautiful and special you’re able to make her feel, and you love that you get to bring her that small sense of normalcy and happiness

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kira-fluff · 3 years

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please please PLEASE may we have a part two to the 'only one bed' piece you posted 🥺🥺 your writing is INCREDIBLE and I loved it so much 🥺🥺🥺 if u decide to do a part two then thank u so much in advance,, hope u have a good day 🥺

a/n: you asked for it (some others did too but this anon was so adorable so I’m replying to this one) so I’m gon’ give it to u <3 also, THANK YOU I am being 1000% honest that your comments seriously brought me to tears I was SO happy you all loved it. when I say pt.2, I kind of assume that it’s with the same characters (since no one specified others) so that’s what I’m gonna do!

Context provided, don’t worry babes

WARNINGS: sexual harassment, intoxication, extremely heavily suggestive (it gets pretty spicy)

Also contains spoilers from part 1 but like why would you even read part 2 if you haven’t read part 1? Get outta here and read it!! (Why is this even a warning? I don’t know don’t question my methods)

“There’s only one bed” [PT.2] PT.1

Saeyoung

You awoke to a sleeping Saeyoung, his toned arms enveloping your small body in a hug. Shamelessly, you laid still for a few moments longer.

When you’d noticed him stirring awake, you quickly shut your eyes once more, trying to conceal your growing smile

Saeyoung blinked a few times before registering at last where he was

He needed a little more time to register why you are in his arms

Pretending to be asleep again, you nuzzled further into his chest, letting out a soft groan

Saeyoung’s mind flew to DANGER MODE

He felt kinda guilty holding you in his arms because let’s face it there’s no way he isn’t enjoying this

He was so stunned that, for once, he was at a loss for words (shocking, I know)

Blinking out of his stupor, he murmured, “Y/N?”

His morning voice was... nice.

You pretended to “wake up”, fake yawning before saying, “Yes, Saeyoung?”, subtly batting your eyes a little

(It wasn’t subtle)

But since Saeyoung is an actual fucking moron, he can’t tell the difference

Play it cool, Seven. She can’t know that you know she was doing this all night and you didn’t do anything.

“Wow”, Saeyoung choked out a laugh, “I didn’t know you liked me this much.”

You look down, in between the two of you before slowly making eye contact with him again, smirking in disbelief, “I could say the same to you.”

A slow blush crept up his face at the innuendo

But he was NOT about to lose

Saeyoung Choi is NOT a loser

“Oh, yeah? Well, I wasn’t the one screaming my name last night.”

You gasped, “Screaming?! I didn’t scream -- I would’ve remembered a dream like tha-- Oh!” You quickly covered your mouth, already feeling regret seeping into every bone of your body.

Saeyoung openly chuckled, looking at you with a sort of darkness in his eyes

“You’re more dangerous than this whole mission.”

You were still out of sorts, failing to come up with a comeback besides a quiet, “I wasn’t screaming.”

A shit eating grin replaced the cool smirk on Saeyoung’s face

“I win.”

“Eat a dick, Seven.”

“Sorry, I think I’m more attracted to the one who was moaning out, ‘Oooh, Saeyoung~~~’“

You threw a pillow straight in his face, muttering a “shut up”, blushing profusely

Ever the competitive fucker, Saeyoung proclaims an all out pillow fight

It is WAR

Throwing pillow after pillow at each other in between giggles and taunts and jeers

“Take no prisoners!” you shouted, feeling unbeatable

Until Saeyoung grabbed your ass, pulling you down with him, earning a yelp from you

“What the fuck, Sev’?! You cheater!!”

“I don’t know, my hand’s a lot more comfortable here!”

You scoffed, “Oh, YOU! YOU are gonna GET IT!”

Saeyoung threw back his head in laughter but abruptly stopped when you grabbed his face with both your hands, and forcefully kissed him

He let out a “MMPH!”, eyes wide

Before, of course, kissing you back with equal force

Gasping for air at last, you spoke in between breaths, “I......win..”

“Actually, darling, I think I just did.”

Noticing your loss for words, he smirked before asking, “So.... what’s my prize?”

You didn’t have to be asked twice, “I think I have something in mind...”

His eyes met your own before slowly scanning your body, then snapping back to your eyes once more

You bit your lip

“I know you’ll lose at least one thing tonight.”

“Bold of you to assume--”

“Just shut up and kiss me again.”

Wish granted ;)

Yoosung

Yoosung glanced away, taking a deep breath before saying, “Yeah, yeah I did. I really like you.” You couldn’t hold back the big ol’ smile that took over your face as you proudly declared, “Me too!!” Right when Yoosung was going to go in for a kiss, he saw his auntie suddenly right next to the both of you

“Oh my GOD when did you get here?!”

She smirked, “My question first, dearie, what did you two like?” Neither of you answered, your cheeks growing red

“You know, the first time your uncle did it with me I felt the same way. Like, what a man! Must run in the fam--”

“OKAY! THANK YOU FOR THAT AUNTIE BUT BREAKFAST IS CALLING MY NAME MM SMELLS GOOD SEE YOU LATER.”

Your blush didn’t leave you as you smeared strawberry cream cheese on your toasted bagel. This trip was going to be very VERY difficult. Thank God there was alcohol. And Yoosung. And probably dogs. And Yoosung. Yeah. Gotta love relatives.

Following this stunning confession, you felt dumb because, well, you still didn’t know where you really stood with Yoosung

So when night came, you were ready to go to a party

Putting on your earrings and making sure your clothes were laid properly in place, you stepped out of the resort room to a waiting Yoosung

“H-hey, thanks for waiting for me,” You nervously tucked a stray hair behind your ear.

Yoosung avoided eye contact, opting for a stiff nod

You gazed deeper into the side of his head, feeling hurt.

But... you decided not to say anything.

Walking together to the reserved room the resort had made in preparation for Yoosung’s uncle was awkward, not a single word spoken between the two of you

When you arrived, Yoosung’s eccentric uncle immediately shouted, “’Sung ‘Sung! Get over ‘ere! We’re gonna have a part-ay!!”

You suddenly understood why Chaewon was the way he was

and why Yoosung’s parents forced him to go on this trip instead of themselves

Since you didn’t know his name, you opted for your nickname -- Uncle Alcohol

Cuz he had a LOT of it

In number, and in the amount he shoved down his throat at any given time

Seriously, how is this guy already drunk?!

You watched as Uncle Alcohol shoved a sloppy arm around Yoosung, not so quietly shouting something in his ear above the blaring music

You were too far away to hear, thank goodness, but you took note of the way Yoosung immediately blushed and shook his head fervently, his hands held in front of his chest

Before you could take in the atmosphere further, you felt a shiver down your back

Immediately turning around you saw the oh-so-famous Chaewon

“Heeeyyyyyyy babbeeheehe...... Wannnaaa..... sliiidee in my room tonighhht?” Laughing in a way what made you cringe and your ears numb, you replied, “No thanks, bud. You should probably get some water.”

“Nooo I want youuuu” Grabbing your boob in his hand, he laughed again, saying, “Nice”

Oh my god.. where the fuck is Yoosung??

You quickly slapped away his hand, shouting, “Stay the hell away from me asshole! Try anything else again, and I won’t give a shit that you’re drunk or Yoosung’s family, I will call the cops on you!”

He acted as if he didn’t hear you, but must’ve gotten the message because he sauntered over to another group of girls

Aren’t those his cousins? What the fuck is WRONG with that guy?!

The loud smack and curses answered the question. You didn’t attempt to help when you saw them proceed to beat the absolute shit out of him, blood and all.

What you needed was a drink. Something really, really strong.

You walked over to the resort bar tender

Something about your face must’ve given it all away because he began with a “Rough night, huh?”

“Do not even fucking ask me about it. God, please, I’m sorry that was rude. I just need something strong... just give me three fingers of rye.” You waved your hand nonchalantly, sitting at a bar stool.

“Are you sure, lady? You don’t look the type to handle that kinda liquor..”

“That’s kind of the point.”

He sighed, “Look... I’m not supposed to condone you getting completely shit-faced.. but you look like you need it tonight. I’ll make something a little easier down the throat, okay?”

You nodded, exasperated.

You didn’t know what it was, but it did the trick. It’s fruity taste easily passed down your throat, leaving you feeling lighter and more at peace.

“’nother one.”

He obliged, pouring another glass for you.

Four drinks in and your world was already unbelievably wobbly.

You were seeing double, looking at the bartender’s second form

You laughed, it all seemed to funny

Standing up, you stumbled over to the dance floor, grabbing one of Uncle A’s craft beers.

Dancing was fun for a few minutes, grateful no one had bothered you.

But you sat down, tears suddenly welling in your eyes

You were alone.

Yoosung.

Your mood brightened just by remembering his name

Giggling, you called out, “Yoosuuungg~~~” repeatedly around the room

One of the cousins heard your call, laughing because everything was funny, before grabbing Yoosung’s arm and shouting what they’d just heard

Yoosung quickly glanced over at you, brows furrowed. They softened a little upon seeing your drunken state

He’d had a beer or two, but the good feeling got old quickly and he sobered up by the time he’d noticed his cousins acting like complete fools

Upon seeing him, your smile grew to a big, childish grin

“Hiiii Yoosuuunggg...”

“Jeez, Y/n, how much did you drink?”

You giggled, playfully sticking out your tongue, “not sure~ a few.. probably..?” you laughed again, winking at him

“Hey, let’s get you some water, yeah? On second thought.. we gotta get outta here. I’ll carry you to our room.”

Your eyes shamelessly stared at his lips, not listening to a word he was saying

“Yoosunngg~~ I want you to fuck meeee”

Yoosung held the bridge of his nose in between his fingers, “L-let’s just go.”

Putting your arm over his shoulder, he carried most of your weight.

“Yoosuuung I want to have your babiess~~”

Yoosung blushed and looked down, continuing to walk, “You’re way too drunk.”

“Yoosunggieee I want to know what it feels like to have your d--”

He quickly shushed you, looking around for other observers

He basically ran to your resort room from there

Taking a long sigh as he finally had got you in the room, he wiped some sweat off his face

Just when he’d gotten up to get a water bottle for you, he heard retching noises

Before he could stop you, you upchucked all over yourself and some of the cheap resort carpeting

Groaning in physical and emotional pain, Yoosung muttered a quiet, “why me”

Before putting his arms under your arm pits and dragging you to the bathroom

He spent a good 10 minutes just trying to get the stupid shower to turn on because of course at any other place than your own house it’s never easy

Then, after getting the temperature just right, he forced you to down at least half of the water bottle

“Are you able to take off your clothes by yourself, Y/n?”

You giggled back, shaking your head

“Liar.”

“Help me take ‘em off pweaseee”

“No!”

You started tearing up again, your lip wobbling

“You know I can’t do that sweetie, you’re drunk.”

“No ‘m not.”

“Yeah, you are.”

You looked up at him before sighing and lifting up your shirt, fully exposing half of your naked body to him

He screamed like a little girl, running and slamming the door behind him

You pouted, “That’s no fun.”

After getting out of your clothes, you devised another poorly thought through plan

“Yoosunngggieee I need help washing myselffff”

“Um.. okay, lemme go see if I can get a hold of someone...”

“I want it to be you. I want it to be you who sees me like this. I want it to be you. Only you.”

“S-stop..” He said through the door.

“Please?”

Sighing, Yoosung knew there was no one who wasn’t drunk or available to help.

He did what any good guy would do. He proceeded to blind fold himself, opting for reaching his hands out to guess and where things were.

You laughed, “’Sunggiee you know you’re still gunna be touchin’ me”

“I’m not going to.”

“You said you’d help me!”

“Yeah, getting shampoo or something like that!”

“How ya gunna do that with somethin’ over your eyes?”

“I didn’t think it through that far.”

You sighed, conceding and attempting to wash yourself (which ended pretty badly) but, keeping his word, he managed to assist you the best he could without touching you.

He pitied the hangover you’d have... and the regret.

At last carrying you to bed after getting you another drink of water, he began cleaning the putrid stain you’d left on the carpet.

It was about 5AM when he’d finished, finally crawling into bed.

He thought about the way it felt last night compared to now

and he blamed himself.

He was the one that made you get so drunk you essentially passed out

Looking at you again, he sighed.

Tugging you close into his arms, he whispered a soft, “I’m sorry.”

Your subconscious must’ve heard him because you said in your sleep, “’s ok.”

Jumin

And suddenly your faces weren’t so far apart. And you couldn’t help but slowly close your eyes. Jumin was confused. He can be a bit of a pea brain, so he of course said, “I’m sure you’re very tired.” He shut off the light, reaching over you. You held back the big frown you’d gotten when you realized he’d rejected you. Unbeknownst to you that it took everything in him, from the moment he’d saw you in the jet cabin, not to scoop you up in his arms and make out with you the whole way there.

You were awoken by birds chirping outside the massive estate window

You made eye contact with an already staring, wide-eyed Jumin

Upon realizing you’d woken up, he averted his gaze saying, “Breakfast -- soon.”

You missed the crimson color of his face, instead getting up and stretching (like you didn’t learn your lesson last time)

Then, you made your way over to the fresh coffee that had been delivered to your room minutes before

Adding a shit load of cream and a dash of sugar, you turned to see Jumin staring at you. Again.

You breathed out a laugh, “What are you looking at?”

Jumin’s brows knit together for a split second before he again looked away, his soft blush never fading, “It’s hard not to.”

“Look at wha--” Your eyes grew wide in realization, looking down at the lingerie hardly covering your skin, Jumin’s shirt no where to be seen.

You screamed, making a poor attempt to cover yourself shouting, “Oh my god I’m so sorry I forgot!!”

Again, Jumin found his gaze resting on your body, stifling a groan.

He at last spoke, his deep voice reverberating throughout the room, “You... you’re making this all.. so much more ....difficult.”

You then grew defensive, “Made what difficult? Ogling at me without staying anything?!”

His eyes glowered with something you couldn’t quite place. “That’s not what I meant”

He walked slowly toward you, causing you to take steps backward

He’d backed you up against the wall, letting out a deep breath through his nose

With glittering eyes, he grabbed your chin with his fingers, forcing you to look up at him instead of the ground

“You’re doing on purpose, aren’t you?”

You gulped in anticipation, “D-doing what?”

Jumin raked his eyes down your body then looked back up at you with a sarcastic expression that said, “really?”

“N-no! I didn’t have a choice!!”

“Your clothes would’ve been dry hours ago.. if it really bothered you--”

“Well I was really tired from the jet ride and putting up with you!”

Jumin looked surprised for a moment before grinning sardonically, “Putting up with me? Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to control myself when you’re constantly grabbing me, touching me, everything!”

“I didn’t do all that on purpose!” Okay, maybe that wasn’t entirely true, but you weren’t about to admit that to him when he was being such a dick.

He laughed dryly, “Yeah, okay. All I’m saying is that I don’t find it very funny.”

“You think that you’re just some big joke to me?!”

“What other explanation is there?”

You were practically hysterical in your laughter saying, “You’re unbelievable.”

“Oh yeah?” he challenged.

“Yeah,” you glared back at him, your faces inches apart.

Before Jumin could realize what he was doing, he pulled your hips flush against his own, crashing his lips harshly on yours.

Letting out moans of both desperation and anger, your eyebrows furrowed as you deepened the kiss, gasping when Jumin slid his tongue so far into your mouth you swore you felt it going down your throat.

After what felt like hours, you parted for oxygen, both breathing heavily, before going in for another long, simmering kiss

You felt Jumin smirk against your mouth causing you to lightly smack his chest, hating that he knew he’d gotten a rise out of you.

He grabbed your wrist against his chest, slowly guiding it to his first button of his night shirt.

You made quick work of removing all the fastenings, nodding and obeying him when he commanded, “Jump”

Your legs tied round his waist, you continued to make out, pulling at the waistband of his pants.

Jumin moaned into your mouth before parting to say, “You will be the death of me, little spitfire.”

Let’s just say the whole fiance thing might not be a lie anymore.

Zen

Zen wanted to say something smooth like “I’ve always wanted to do that.” But instead he said “I’ve always wanted to do you.” He mentally smacked his head, blaming the lack of oxygen for his stupidity. But you smirked up at him coyly, replying, “Then why don’t you?” Um, yeah, rip your hotel neighbor he will literally hate both of you so much.

You awoke you Zen rubbing his thumb on your arm, basking in the morning light

He groggily said, “’mornin’ babe.”

“I’m ‘babe’ now?”

“What else am I supposed to call my beautiful girlfriend?”

You leaned up and kissed him softly, smiling.

“I love you, Zen. So much.”

“I love you, too, Y/n. If you didn’t already get that from when we...”

You laughed shyly, “yeah..”

“I know I skipped a few steps, but I have never been happier and more sure of anything in my life.”

You looked up at him, peacefully grinning.

“Hey, let’s get married.”

Zen choked on his spit, “R-right now?!”

You giggled, “Not right now, but soon. I dunno, we’ve been friends for, like, forever. Now that we know we like each other it seems like the next step.”

Zen looked at you, searching your face to determine whether you were serious or not.

Detecting that you weren’t joking he laughed airily saying, “Sure. Whatever you want princess.”

He kissed the top of your head, whispering, “You’re so beautiful, ya know that?”

Sighing comfortably, you nodded, falling back into sleep.

“H-hey! Wake up!!” Zen shouted, giving up and just cuddling up to you instead, stroking your hair gently.

The concert wasn’t until late that night -- he had time to spare.

....Even if he didn’t, he’d make time for you. - 3 months later

In classic Zen and Y/n style, you’d eloped shortly after the tour ended.

“Hey, Y/n? Have you seen my grey t-shirt?”

You looked up from your laptop, “Mhm, it’s in the dryer.”

He sighed, “Thanks babe”, before making his way down to the mudroom where your laundry was kept

He sifted through the hot laundry in the dryer, not seeing his shirt anywhere, when he hard a crash.

“Y/N?!”

He rushed out to the living room, glancing from the smashed coffee mug on the ground, to you.

“Y/N?! Are you okay?!!!”

You clutched your stomach in anguish, beads of sweat forming at your brow, “Y-yeah.. my stomach hurts so bad ‘s all.”

Zen was having NONE of that

He rushed you to the Emergency Room, holding your hand the entire time.

“It’s gonna be okay, Princess, I promise.” You nodded, before losing consciousness -

you awoke to a depressing hospital room, meeting Zen’s worried eyes.

“How long was I out..?”

“For a few minutes.”

You sighed in relief, feeling a lot better than you were when you were rushed to the ER.

All of a sudden, a doctor entered the room looking stern.

“I wanted to discuss the diagnosis with the two of you when you were both physically present.”

You blanched, looking at Zen with fear etched in your eyes.

Zen held your hand tighter, before saying, “What’s the problem?”

The doctor looked in between the two of you before letting out a little laugh, “There’s nothing wrong, actually.”

You both looked confused, Zen proudly saying, “Then why’d you look all doom and gloom when you came in here?!”

The doctor roared with laughter saying, “Eh, I get a kick out of the faces you guys make. Ah, now to the diagnosis.”

“There’s still a diagnosis?!”

You shushed Zen, nodding at the doctor.

He took a breath before saying, “Miss Y/N Hyeon, you’re pregnant.”

Both your eyes grew wide, mouths slacked

“O-oh, oh my gosh!!”

Zen enveloped you in a big hug, congratulating you (and also hiding his tears)

This man could not hold back the proud grin he sported for MONTHS

I simp for this prompt so if someone asked, it’s not like I could say no to writing it for more characters.......right? lol Also, I came to a realization that I made that a fanfic rather than a headcanon.. so oh well, right?

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rinkrats · 3 years

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What stands out about Crosby’s captaincy?

Yohe: Probably how incredible Crosby is with young players. If I had a dime for every time I’ve seen Crosby hanging out with players recently recalled from Wilkes-Barre/Scranton after games or practices, I’d have retired long ago. He has a special way with people and his greatest strength is that, though he’s one of the world’s most famous athletes, he’s almost freakishly down to earth. He literally has time for everyone and treats Evgeni Malkin the same as he treated Dustin Jeffrey. It was the secret to the 2016 championship. The Penguins decided to go young and bring up Bryan Rust, Matt Murray, Tom Kuhnhackl and Conor Sheary. He made them feel at home.

Rossi: The Penguins staged a media event inside the Igloo Club at Civic Arena to officially name Crosby as captain. About a month had passed since their opening-round loss to the Senators in the 2007 playoffs. Crosby, who played that series with a broken foot, showed up in a suit that fit snug. “It’s tight, right?” he said, poking fun at himself. “I haven’t been able to do anything because of the foot. If this is what happens when I don’t work out for a month, I’m probably going to get huge after I retire.” His combination of self-awareness and self-deprecation was startling given everybody in the room had gathered on his behalf. But I’ll never forget the last thing he said to me at that event: “Hey, good luck with the house thing — that’s a big deal.” Somehow, Crosby had heard from somebody that I was headed straight for the closing on my house after covering the event. I vividly remember driving to the closing in my car and thinking how ready he was to wear the ‘C,’ that his recognition of my big moment on his big day was something only a natural captain would do.

Favorite quirk?

Rossi: When Crosby really wants to get a point across, he uses a person’s first name instead of their nickname. Don’t know if this is intentional or something from his subconscious. But it’s rare, sort of private, and probably the thing I’ll remember most about him after everything else.

Gentille: Probably the times he randomly grows a mustache and doesn’t shave for a while. Sometimes, there’s no rhyme or reason — just a dude making a goofy facial-hair decision and sticking with it. Nothing to see here. From a guy who isn’t all that funny, deliberately or otherwise, it’s a window into … something. It’s also possible that he just likes having a mustache from time to time, but I’m choosing to add another layer of intentionality. Also, I know I mentioned it already, but the sandwich thing … putting jelly on top of peanut butter, not on the other piece of bread, is unfiltered insanity.

Yohe: I always enjoy watching him stickhandle on the logos in each building during warmups. You know why? It’s the only time you’ll ever see Crosby act like anything resembling a showoff. I’m not even saying he’s being one. But you could theoretically argue, “He’s got some of the greatest hands of all time, and he’s letting people know.” His work on the McDonald’s logo at PPG Paints Arena is very much the stuff of legend.

Crosby’s future looks like …

Yohe: It’s a tough one to answer because he’s so incredibly guarded in certain ways. But I would suggest he’ll always be involved in hockey, and presumably with the Penguins. He truly does love the game and, though he might take some time away from the game after he retires, I bet it won’t be for long. He comes from hardworking people, and he’s not the type to do nothing the rest of his life. My guess is he’ll play until he’s at least 40, maybe longer if his body allows. Then he’ll join the front office in some capacity, or perhaps ownership. He’s got the money to do it.

Gentille: I don’t think anyone knows, really — and that’s cool. The only guarantee, to me, is that whatever he does, he’s going to want to do. Maybe that’s playing until he’s 40, maybe not. Maybe it’s taking the Steve Yzerman route to the front office, maybe not. Maybe it’s spending a couple of post-career years hanging out in Southern California, maybe not. He’s in control, though. And I’m not sure he’s gotten enough credit for that so far.

Rossi: Here’s what I’ve never heard Crosby say, on or off the record: that he plans to play past his current contract. That being the highest-paid player is important. That he wants to play for another franchise. He has said he appreciates that people in Pittsburgh respect his privacy. He has said that he’d like for him, Malkin and Letang to finish what they started. He has said he doesn’t think about where he’ll finish on the all-time goals and points list. And I’ve never known him to lie, so taking Crosby at his word seems a safe bet. I’d like his future to include fatherhood because there’s a joy to him when he’s around teammates’ children that makes me wonder if what Sidney Patrick Crosby was put on this planet to do just about better than anybody else isn’t limited to playing hockey.

-Sidney Crosby through 1000 NHL games, 18 Feb 2021

#'i'm probably gonna get huge when i retire'#PLEASE the thing that makes me happiest when i think about him retiring is him getting to indulge himself and crush ALL the timbits #him growing three more chins #soft and happy #sidney crosby #long post #text

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obeymeluv · 4 years

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Cute + Awkward Headcanons (SFW/NSFW)

Trying to turn a bad day around, so I thought of these

Lucifer

Sometimes you can’t tell if he’s giving you bedroom eyes or if he’s actually angry. Lucifer has spent THOUSANDS of years glaring at his brothers and doesn’t know if he’s just staring or glaring

I think he’s super out of practice with romance so he’s hella awkward but when he gets that first positive sign that you’re into him, the charm and pride wakes up and suddenly he’s smooth AF

Flirts so formally he misses his shot 8/10 times

Has a habit of trying to police you like one of his brothers and it’s a knee-jerk, 1000+ year reaction to looking after 6 man-children of various difficulties. Always owns up and apologizes

Has accidentally almost made you pass out from kissing too long. Forgets you don’t have the same lung capacity

BRUISES YOU TO HELL! FORGETS SO MUCH! FEELS SO BAD!

That’s why he has the gloves, to soften his grip because he was one of the strongest in the Celestial Realm and that translates to power in the Devildom

Only complains to you about his back pain from long nights burning the candle at both ends. You find it cute and sad at the same time

Is probably physically very heavy given his stature and the weight of his wings, so if he falls asleep on you, you’re trapped

Rare midnight snack dates when he MUST finish papers by the deadline.

You may or may not have had a Demonus date in his study when a particularly bad batch of paperwork was finally done

You’ve probably cracked at least one (1) antique wood chair

Quickly learned he CANNOT spank you because that shit seriously bruised your ass. You either need a strengthening charm or he has to re-learn how to use his strength around people

That caused one awkward visit to the infirmary because you didn’t know if you were just sore, pinched, dislocated, or cracked. Turns out you were fine. There was no mistaking that hand print, though

It was the second time he’d apologized so profusely in his life. There was no pride left in this man.

You had a special cushion to ease the pain and it looked top of the line (hella fancy. Could probably resell it as fake Gucci in the human world.)

Lucifer gives me big dom vibes and orgasm denial/over-stimulation kink because of his pride basically demanding you beg for him. You passed out at least once from over-stimulation.

When you first start dating he wouldn’t want to own up to any awkward boners so if you sit in his lap while he’s taking a paper break, he’ll make every excuse under the sun (”That’s my belt,”, etc.)

Mammon

This boy is nothing but awkward moments, are you kidding me?

It’s a lot of ‘open mouth, insert foot’ because he can’t be upfront with his feelings. It’s partly not wanting to lose any ‘cred’ he has with people, but also because he’s embarrassed and can’t be honest

There’s lots of tracking you down to sort out things you might have overheard (that he didn’t honestly mean if they sounded bad)

Super sentimental about anything to do with you. You once kissed a piece of Grimm as a good luck charm for his exam and he’d kill someone over it. Always has it on him.

This lovable doofus just assumes you’re dating because you’re always together and you’re perfect and he’s your best man so who’s better?!

When you actually ask him out (with something silly, like ‘I think us dating would be pretty cash money’), he’s so confused. (”But we’ve been dating for, like, a month! Right, human?!”)

He talks big but he’s weak. You’ll always be able to fluster him

Wanted to make love to you on some Grimm and quickly realized that it’s uncomfortable. Porn lied to him and the idea’s ruined. You guys cut the session short to find every piece of Grimm so you can actually lay in the bed

Tends to plunk his head down on your chest and demand scratches/cuddles and has bruised you several times.

Accidentally fought you once or twice for his glasses while half asleep. Levi, Asmo, and Satan used to take them and hide from him

You learned he’s actually hella blind (contacts with non-prescription sunglasses or prescription yellow glasses) and have walked him around the House of Lamentation several times when his glasses went missing

He’ll complain about his brothers having it out for him and getting back at him, but it turns out they just wanted to make an excuse for you guys to hold hands. It’s like a date!

Made you hit your head on the headboard once when he was doing missionary style. Had to stop and check on you, then it got awkward. He cuddled and kissed you the whole time, though. Even got you an ice pack!

The type to flirt with you, try to lean on something, and take himself out on the way down

You’ve had a few of those cliche ‘trip and fell on each other’ moments

Has accidentally swung you into doors and walls trying to scoop you up and run/march out of a room

Levi

This boy is also super awkward

When you’re alone, he’s an absolute sucker for any kind of affection you can give. This boy will literally slither across the floor to make himself comfortable in your lap so he can game.

Pet his hair. He loves that.

Will also have to re-train himself on how to be with you in public. With him, it’s not making fun of a ‘normie’ as much.

Not big on PDA but will definitely hold your hand. How ELSE are people going to know you’re together?!

You get cute matching shirts or jewelry with the ‘Player 1, Player 2′ theme

Does a lot more snake-like things with his tongue. Especially when frustrated. Rub his jaw and chin to see it come out a little bit. It’s like a happy floppy dog tongue, just not as long or wide.

Craves a soft, warm thing to sleep on. You will be his new bed.

The first time you had sex, he broke out his demon form because he looked at you and loved you. He knew he’d get jealous if anyone ever saw you.

Was a little clumsy but determined. Sank in and started going at it, but wanted to look down and watch. He got his horns stuck in your hair and had to stop.

Is #1 fan when you’re naked. (”Ugh. Smother me.”) Boy can’t stand it. He needs it.

Tries to dress a little nicer (even if it’s casual) when you guys go out on dates.

You pack little snack bags when he stands in line for midnight releases and GODDAMN he’s gonna marry you?!

If you’re napping together and someone comes to wake him up or needs you, he just glares at them from underneath you, tail swishing threateningly. No one takes his human, okay?!

He has over-the-ear headphones but I bet he carries earbuds and has probably done that ‘share an earbud’ thing to hold you close and listen to music

Do you need to get up while he’s still sleeping? Untangle yourself and tuck your pillow in his arms. He’ll be fine. Bonus: you get to see the snuggling in action.

Between all the anime and centuries in the Devildom, he’s gotten used to using tails as another way of expression. They act subconsciously based on what the demon’s thinking. He’s surprised both of you several times by accidentally wrapping you up in his tail because he doesn’t want you to leave.

When he gets visibly uncomfortable in social situations, slip him something with your scent on it. It’s comforting. If you make up an excuse to get him out of there (he’s your escort and all), he’s over the moon.

Satan

Had more awkward moments than he’s willing to admit, but he’s more open about them than Lucifer. Basically, if someone guesses it happened, he won’t deny it.

BOY HAS A BOWTIE KINK. PLAY WITH HIS. STEAL ONE AND WEAR IT!

Has probably tripped over books walking you through his room or rushing to answer the door (not that you’d know how happy it makes him).

There’s a 50-50 chance that he’ll steal a glance and act like he didn’t, hiding behind an upside down book or something

Has definitely dropped books on his head after charming them down from the shelf. Your voice just sucks all his concentration up. You get bonus points for checking on him because some of those books are HELLA HEAVY

Say the right thing during a quiet tea session and you might hear him choke

Has probably been outed by one of his friends. Satan always seems to make friends without trying and gets invited to tons of stuff. What didn’t seem like a date turns out to DEFINITELY be a date (according to the friend).

Plan some silly treasure hunt/detective date and this guy is yours for life (especially if you’re the prize at the end).

Isn’t the most upfront about the disdain for his demon form, or how he feels weird about not being a true angel (just an extension of Lucifer), so expect a lot of raw, near-tears conversations in his demon form.

Hold him, run your fingers along the inside of his wings and the tips of his horns and Satan hugs you like there’s no tomorrow. He’ll cry, but he doesn’t regret these tears because they’re healing.

Weak for hand kisses. Smooch them hands.

Not super into PDA, but he’ll do other things to show he cares like carry your books and make sure you know what the weather’s like before you leave

Satan still hasn’t lived down the time Lucifer and the others broke down his door because they smelled blood and thought he’d hurt you. Turns out you guys were having sex and he just bit too hard.

Wouldn’t talk to any of them for a week. He swept you up on an impromptu hotel vacation and you continued to avoid everyone by shopping and eating at cafes.

The type to hold your panties hostage or like a trophy. Gives them back eventually, and enjoys watching Mammon almost have an aneurysm as he tries to figure out why his room smells so strongly of you.

Tea dates, cat cafe dates, and plenty of couple pictures with cat filters. Satan’s Devilgram activity goes up substantially when he’s dating.

You’re not his lock screen, but you’re his background.

Asmo

When you two start dating Asmo is literally the happiest demon in all of Devildom. Yeah he’s smug and cute like ‘how could they NOT fall for beautiful me?’ but boy is literally so stoked. All of that babble’s just a cover for how sickeningly happy he is

Thinks the world of you.

Wants to spend all his free time with you, be it napping and cuddling, shopping, getting pampered, or just doing your nails.

Now that he has that real, true love he doesn’t want to be without you.

You trend on Devilgram at least once

SO MANY PICTURES

Took you shopping for perfumes and has the tester strip you used to pick your perfume taped to his vanity. Then he can smell it whenever he likes!

Gives you a small thing of his cologne for when you get lonely or want to smell like him

Boy is super, super extra. Probably has matching shirts that say he’s yours and you’re his.

The type to get couple’s pillows, cups, and pajamas. You also get couple’s massages.

If you wear lipstick, he’s definitely made you a custom one at some exclusive-invite Devilgram event. He put your initials on the base of the tube and thinks it’s the cutest damn thing. His pride and joy--it’s basically a child.

There’s no shame in the bedroom with this one. I really doubt he’d have awkward moments because he has a lot of experience and has run into a lot of things that he’s handled one way or another. It’s gentle coaching and some sweet teasing.

The most embarrassing thing he’s ever done is probably moaned/whined at the wrong time. Or said something semi-naughty at a bad time. He’s not easily shamed so that doesn’t really matter, either.

He melts at the gentlest touches and will be SO dramatic about it, like half fainted into his bed.

Is easily hypnotized by jewelry. He’ll massage your ears if you have earrings in, cooing over them and wanting to look at them. If he’s laying on you and you’re wearing a necklace, he plays with it the whole time.

Beel

Smart but distractable. Beel’s love language revolves around protection and food so pack him a lunch for practice or bring him something from a town date with one of the bros and he’s super excited

He means well but forgets his own strength so there’s a lot that can go wrong in the bedroom

Has probably broken his bed several times

Had sex on the kitchen counter and the bros only found out because one of them was setting up dinner prep and one of the legs just gave out

Big, snuggly bear. Best hugs.

Hardest to wake up because he tends to sleep well and easily. It’s a side effect of being connected to Belphie. Will hug you to him and keep snoring. You have to get someone else to wake him up because he’ll just snuggle you the more you move around and talk

I headcanon that Beel does a tongue thing like Levi, mostly because his cardinal sin is gluttony and that helps get the food in his mouth faster. It’s not as slender or serpentine as Levi’s, but it definitely moves.

Has licked you in his sleep as an affectionate thing.

Loves to snuggle into your hair when he sleeps.

Bite mark king. He’s so affectionate and earnest when he makes love that he just ends up leaving all kinds of signs on you--mostly bite marks but when he’s conscious of leaving too many, they turn into hand prints.

Makes the purr sound when he’s inside of you. Purrs very easily.

Most of his awkward moments come from being oblivious. He’s the kind of guy you have to out-and-out tell you’re flirting with him, that you like him and want to date him.

Beel’s also very shy with flirting. He thinks you’ll just understand that he’s flirting when he shares food or wants to hug, or just anything. It can be missed because he’s generally chill and friendly.

Was royally embarrassed by Asmo (on accident) when he didn’t eat as much at dinner one night and you were ‘too tired’ to come down. Beel went to carry your food up and Asmo somehow found out he’d eaten you out right before. He was filled up on the human energy and you couldn’t walk to come down.

If you ride his face, grab his horns to hold on. It does something for him and his hands go crazy and he really eats.

Scratch his back and he’ll be your forever heater.

His PDA is carrying you because why not? It’s a workout AND you’re close. It makes him give that big, nice smile.

Belphie

The biggest issue is that he falls asleep on you all the time. He doesn’t mean to but he’s TIRED, okay?

Has a name for the cow pillow. Calls it ‘my moo.’ You are one of seven people that know that. Apparently it’s been a thing since he was little.

Has accidentally called you ‘my moo’ when he’s sleep delirious. It means you’re highly thought of. Beel used to be his moo, too, and now he’s been replaced.

This sloth will smother you. He’s like a koala that demands total contact to sleep

Gives you back rubs and massages. Sometimes he stays awake through them, sometimes you get sleepy and that makes him sleepy so he ends up falling asleep on your back.

Not big on PDA, but his version of caring for you is making sure you’re not bothered by annoying people. Wants you to sit with him at lunch though, and he’ll sulk if you don’t.

His favorite kind of dates are where you stockpile food and drink in the room and just feed each other while lounging in cozy blankets

If you make him any kind of pillow or blanket for a birthday, it’s at the top of his collection. Everyone will see it when they walk into his room.

You’ll plan dates in the star room where he just holds you and points out constellations until you fall asleep. Knows a lot of the mythology/stories behind them and shares that.

No matter the size, Belphie likes to cuddle between your boobs. He says it’s for your heartbeat and that they’re comfy like pillows. His tail wags like crazy when he does this.

Also big on physical contact due to his time in the attic. You just have to be alone.

Brush and play with his hair. That’s what he likes most.

Just hold this boy, okay? He needs it.

If you guys are trying to nap and the other brothers are being noisy, he’ll do the demon scream thing to tell them to shut the hell up. He’s an absolute angel to you though. You’re tired too, he knows.

If you get a little purple streak or something in your hair, he’s smitten.

Get him a kanigiri and the boy is super stoked. He’ll wear it all around the House of Lamentation. Bonus points if it has a hoodie or something he can throw up to annoy Lucifer.

Might get you a little stuffed cow toy so you have something to hug if you have to go away or can’t be with him.

The type to be restless if he can’t sleep with you. Will come to your room in the dead of night and ask to snuggle. It’s the only time he’s nice about it (and vulnerable), so say yes.

You get to be a human body pillow. He loves it very much.

#Obey me!#Obey me x reader #Lucifer x Reader #Mammon x Reader #Leviathan x Reader #Levi x Reader #Satan x Reader #Asmodeus x reader #asmo x reader #beelzebub x reader #Beel x Reader #Belphegor x Reader

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just-like-playing-tag · 3 years

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Personal highlights from the fifth chapter of the fanbook!!! You can read the entire chapter translation here :)

Thank you so much @/1000sunnygo for the translation!!!!!!

Forgive me for this got so long, but really there was pretty much nothing not interesting in this chapter ;;;;;;

The comparision between Shirai's draft and Demizu's finished piece pfftt- they make such a great team.

Shirai confirmed when meeting Norman again was the first time Emma cried since the first chapter: “Emma tried her best not to cry all along for the promise she made in chapter 1 ("I won't cry anymore") but ended up crying when she met Norman.” ;;;;;;

T/N: The last sentence wasn't present in the final version of the chapter: “I let you go away, it was me. To a place where you won't return from.”

This omitted sentence left me?? Shocked????????? I always thought it was Norman's choice to let himself be shipped, so I never put much thought into what it could have meant for Emma (beyond the feeling of betrayal). But to think that she kept blaming herself for his death is so heartbreaking... Besides, her never bringing it up again, refusing to look back at what's done and can't be changed but still keeping blaming herself for it is also very Emma pffft. This girl is too good for the world!!!!!!

The “1000 years ago” setting was inspired by the fact that about 1000 years ago people used to believe in demons; the existence of demon-like creatures makes a parallel between TPN's world and the real world. I find it nice, it's like Shirai is giving his own in-world explanation to way 1000 years ago demons disappeared from the human world.

This bit: “The reason why Norman admired Emma caused their ways to diverge at the same time”. It's at the same time sweet and tragic you know- the reasons why Norman admired Emma, like her determination in wanting to save all the children or her confidence for being able to change the world, ended up setting Norman down a path Emma herself would have never chosen 🥺🥺🥺

Shirai notes that Norman had a short lifespan and couldn't build the world Emma desired without killing the demons. Norman wanted to ensure a safe world for Emma and everyone. Shirai thinks Norman might have chosen a slightly different method if he wasn't running out of time.

I feel like we shouldn't overlook this??? I've seen so many people arguing that it was ooc for kind and good-hearted Norman to choose such a bloody way; however, Shirai himself said Norman would have probably gone for another way given more time. Norman prioritized ensuring a safe world for his family while he still could, and I think we should give him credit for at least that?

In the initial concept, Shirai wanted Norman to reappear as a different person and gave him a slightly different design. But Norman in Posuka's arts seemed to follow a natural growth of his younger self, so Shirai discarded the idea. The storyboards had some leftovers of the old design. [...] [Rephrased] traces of the old design are still visible, such as the longest bangs through chapters 119-124.

... Maybe this explains why Norman looks so different post time skip? (“Natural growth??????” lmao Shirai)

Shirai and Sugita praising Ray's growth, so true besties 🤧🤧🤧

Sugita notices how the trio ended up saving each other in rotation: Ray was saved by Norman and Emma in the first arc; Norman was saved by Ray and Emma in the Royal Capital arc; Emma was saved (more like, found again?) by Norman and Ray in the last arc. I love how it all came to full circle :')

Hayato, Jin, Cislo and Barbara were all modeled after Bartolomeo from One Piece to add comedic elements

(About chapter 124) “Shirai wished they [Barbara, Cislo and Vincent] could interact with Emma's side more.” MH-MH TELL ME ABOUT IT BRO

“Unlike most demons who wear dark-colored clothes, Geelan wore white”. I never noticed before, but I think it's s a very cool detail! Somehow foreshadows his past of a just and morally noble demon, different from the other black and corrupted regent houses and royalty.

Geelan's old (pre-decaying) design had yet to be set at the time of his first appearance. Shirai says that if Geelan's royal and elegant past appearance had been decided from the very beginning, he would have made Geelan's speaking in chapter 125 “a little cooler” pfffttt-

Shirai says it was particularly hard to write Emma and Norman's confrontation because Norman was correct. However, reading back Shirai says that “Emma didn't lose the argument at all and had her own way of being correct” which warms my heart :')

THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPH THAT LEGIT MADE ME CRY WHEN I FIRST READ IT:

Norman was capable of doing various things, so his weakness was his tendency to fight alone. In the old stories, boys carried certain responsibilities on their backs. Saying something soft was considered as a weakness. From all TPN characters, Shirai thinks Norman's mindset was the closest to such beliefs - “mustn't be uncool in front of a girl”, “never whine or complain”, and “must be strong”. To save Norman was to save him from these self-imposed principles. Even before starting TPN serialization, Shirai decided to make him say “help me” as a part of his growth.

It's so true that TPN is a Shonen manga like no others.

Shirai says he requested the 'god or devil' panel because everything becomes cool when drawn by Posuka.

THIS PART IS SO HILARIOUS TO ME BECAUSE LIKE

Anime Norman: Edgy, overdramatic, uncool

Manga Norman: Cool, stunning, iconic

Lambda's seizures where inspired by Shirai's own experience, who started suffering from severe headaches daily. It says that “Following Sugita's suggestion, he had to tone down the depiction of pain in the storyboard” like bruh king you ok????? (The Lambda seizures seem already painful enough????????)

Additional details on the five regents houses leads personalities!!!:

Dozza was an arrogant upstart. Yverk was an aristocrat who had been around for a long time. Bayon Jr. was Bayon's serious natured son. Pupo had the image of a harmless old man; Shirai and Sugita wanted to make him flashy and dumb like the World Nobles from One Piece. Noum had the image of a young, serious and excellent Patriarch (like a character from Game of Thrones).

And on the queen:

Leglavalima was Leuvis's sister. She's the strong, fearsome and charismatic queen who held dignity and beauty. Her design was a mixture of royalties from Europe and China.

Legravalima my beloved ☺️☺️💕💕✨✨❤️❤️

The first concept was having a king rather than a queen, but apparently “ "Leuvis's older sister" gives off a scarier image than "Leuvis's older brother" ” (??). Legravalima was set to be female also to tie, as one of the final enemies of the story, with Isabella, who was the first.

Chapter 134 had only 11 pages. Shirai had a cold for 4 months that worsened even after taking care of his health, so he had to take a week's break. Mangaka who draw their manga themselves can take a week's suspension if they fail to complete their manuscript due to sickness. Author-onlies have to submit a leave application. Shirai admits that he cried in frustration, as it was hard for him to make his own decision and ask "please let me rest."

Bruh I had no idea they overworked authors so badly, this is?????? Horrible???????? I'm upset authors have to go through this and severaly angry at SJ too- no author deserves such treatment.

Apparently writing Ayshe's side centric chapters was “healing” for Shirai :')

Ayshe's first design was drafted right after the first arc. At first, she was supposed to have the appearance of an older woman; the design was then changed to the one of a wild girl with furry arms. Although she had a scar on her face in all versions, how she got the scar was unknown.

The amount of times during the serialization Sugita intervened asking to "make it pretty" is quite funny pfftt. (He did it for Geelan's old design, Ayshe's wild design, Leslie's design... )

Ayshe was thought to mirror both Norman and Ray: Norman, as someone who was similarly raised by demons, yet didn't hate them; Ray, as someone who had a “monster” as a parent.

Shirai considered Ayshe to be a partner for Ray, but then thought that was unfair because apparently Ayshe is too pretty for Ray PFFFFTT

There isn't any specific story behind Ayshe's dad's scar; the deformed face is an accidental abnormality. Ayshe's dad was a former aristocrat, and that's why he knew the demon language ("former aristocrat who fell in disgrace" feels like a recurring trope for Shirai lmao). Once his face structure collapsed, he couldn't stay at home anymore and started living an hidden life.

The firstborn child of the Bayon family is a girl. As reported in the exhibition booklet interview, Demizu told that the most shocking request she faced was learning that the Bayon children were going to die too soon. It seems like Demizu drew a girl while imagining various things, like her becoming friends with Emma. But then the girl died in a second. “How cruel was that? If I heard it beforehand, maybe I would've made her appear more” (Shirai). This was so cute and wholesome, Demizu is such an angel I swear (╥﹏╥)

About the fancy suit Vincent wore in chapter 137, Shirai says that Vincent is “fashionable and picky with his clothes”

The Seven Walls' cube was supposed to be a 4-D hypercube, how cool is that!!!! Seeing it in motion makes me appreciate Demizu's depiction even more.

Demon god's appearance transforming when Emma reached the Seven Walls was a remnant of Shirai's unused setting according to which Scribbles' appearance changes based on the time of day (looking like a child in the morning, a young person in the daytime and an old person in the evening).

Shirai doesn't think Julius was a bad person, but rather a pure and serious man who hadn't been able to rest in a long time.

(Pretty obviously), the ancestors were designed with a rebirth-like theme.

Lewis looking so old and Sonju looking so much younger is because Lewis received many wounds and regenerated too much: the more of a warrior-like a demon was, the faster they would age. An early concept had a note that Lewis was a “combat enthusiast”, and didn't eat as much as Legravalima. Shirai says that “contrasting to Lewis, Legravalima was like “a beautiful witch who would do anything to keep her beautiful appearance” 🥰🥰🥰

Sonju's chapter 144 quote “I'll turn you into meatballs" was a line Shirai had wanted him to say even from before the series began.

About the matter of Yverk and Julius reaching the Day and Night so smoothly, Shirai reports that a secret passage exists, but only the queen and Yverk know about it. Shirai answering my 2019 old questions :')

Barbara and Cislo were random picks for Lambda

Like Hayato, Jin's ability is his superhuman speed

Norman made Zazie's paperbag. Since Zazie grew up in a dark room, he hates lights / electricity.

Like Norman, Vincent was brought to Lambda because his test scores were exceptionally good. Once at Lambda, he was forced to undergo brain surgery to determine if he could be pushed further to Norman's level (that’s the reason behind the scars on his head). Though his scores improved after the surgery, he never managed to reach Norman.

Ray's “huh / what?” in chapter 117 was because of him seeing the farm's mass produced children- seems like once again Shirai asked “is anyone else going to add trauma to this kid” and didn't wait for an answer (个_个)

#Fun drinking game!#Drink a glass of water every time Shirai says something in the lines of “I had to cut this plotline to keep the focus on the main plot”#Will never be dehydrated again #tpn #the promised neverland #tpn manga spoilers #tpn fanbook #tpn ayshe #tpn norman #tpn emma #noremma #tpn ray #Dunnot there's so much to unpack here akdheksbskbs #tpn demons #tpn analysis #mine #I was this 👌 close to make a bad six the musical joke but I spares you lol

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wedreamedlove · 3 years

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MLQC Men Headcanon Notes

Now that I’ve spent more time with these men (it’s getting close to 2 years!) I wanted to share the general thoughts, themes, motifs, etc. that I keep in mind when I’m writing their character.

This is 1000% headcanon territory, so feel free to take what’s useful and ignore what’s not LOL but I’d also love to see people add in their own “character reference cheat sheet” to this!

(I’m especially curious because, due to being of Asian diaspora, I write best in English but my understanding of the characters come from CN/JP text). Incidentally, if anyone feels ANY of this when reading my fics, then that’s all I could ever ask for LOL.

LI ZEYAN

He is Capricorn² and, while the game doesn’t make explicit mentions to this, I associate the element earth with him because of this. He’s described with attributes like being steady, calm, and always in control. He is the epitome of an immovable boulder and things revolve around him, not the other way around. I like to draw on imagery of unbending steel and/or the stable ground.

Meanwhile, like the goat of his astrological sign, every step he takes to climb to his goal is assured. He doesn’t do anything spontaneous or without thought, so if he does lose control and act without thinking then it has to be a momentuous occasion. Basically, it’s really important to me that if I write a loss of control, then it’s likely to be the centerpiece.

Keeping in mind that his Evol is time control, I also like to try and subtly weave an atmosphere of how everything happens at his pace. Winter being his season only adds onto this because the world stills when it’s covered in snow; everything becomes muted, hushed, and slowed in this season.

The chemistry in his romance arc is how his pace and control gets disturbed, but he adapts quickly and learns to go along with these moments of whimsy. Or more like that’s his character development and how love changes him.

His canon (spirit) animal is the cat and lion. Felines go along very well with the emperor or noble archetypes he has in all his AU cards, because cats are stereotyped as being independent and haughty animals. He’s not big on PDA or excessive skinship, but he’s not disagreeable to them either. Too much stimulation and, like a cat, he’ll probably show exasperation. Ignore him for too long though and he’ll come to share his presence with you.

For me, his love is shown through quiet acts of service that don’t have any attention drawn to them. Him just being in the same room or giving his attention is how he emotes his love.

He’s quite low-key in his normal life so he doesn’t seem like someone who gets confused over commoner things, but there are also moments where he spends an enormous amount of money without blinking. If life can be made easier with money then why not, right?

Keywords: Calm. Steady. Earth. Immovable. Control. Exasperated Affection. Time. Cats. Literal Capricorn. Winter. Mature.

ZHOU QILUO

First thing that comes to mind is the sun and heat. Fire is his element and so I go for stereotypical imagery like flares of passion and burning bright. He switches expressions and moods at the drop of a hat and he’s a mood maker to the extreme, but there’s no hiding the way he shines with his love for his love.

However, because he’s also Helios, it’s really important for me to play around with dualities and explore the other side of this positive imagery. So, just like how the sun can bring warmth and life, it’s also a deadly laser something that can hurt people by blinding them or setting fires. It’s also fun to remember that the moon only has light from the sun’s reflection.

Game-wise, I believe Helios has been described with cold and ice imagery but, because I try to keep that imagery for Li Zeyan, what I like to consider instead is that extremely cold things can “burn” you too. Frostbite can also be called ice burn.

The sky is repeated imagery for Luoluo too, because of his eyes, but I’ll admit I’m still uncertain about how to interpret this for his character. Generally, the sky represents freedom but...? How I approach this is that the sky doesn’t discriminate and protects everyone below it (echoing his quote about how he protects the light in the dark).

On this note about the sky being welcoming, I view Luoluo’s love as one that accepts his love no matter what they’re like and he grows together with them (unlike the two adults, Li Zeyan and Xu Mo).

However, again, it’s super important to remember his duality and just because he’s a playful mood maker doesn’t mean he’s not able to switch into a serious and mature mode. He keeps his innocence and warm heart despite the darkness he’s seen and understands.

His canon animal is the bear which also makes me tilt my head. I can only see this as how bears are seen as both cuddly and cute, but also fierce and protective. He was also given a stag but... no one uses that LOL.

Keywords: Fire. Passion. Playful. Innocent. Little Sun! But Moon. Spring. Sacrifice. Darkness. Sky. Mischievous. Mood Maker.

BAI QI

Every single cell in his body is attuned to his love. You ever lose your phone and then, for the rest of the day, you feel as if you’re missing an important piece of yourself and you have intrusive thoughts wondering where it is? That’s him. You ever see something so cute you experience cute aggression and don’t know what to do with yourself? That’s him. You know those dogs that strain at their leashes on the streets because they want to go and greet you? That’s him.

It’s all about the yearning.

I know, I know, I wrote essays about how he can survive without his love and how he’s someone who carries both love and a greater justice BUT let’s not kid ourselves that he doesn’t revolve around his love like Jupiter around the sun.

Anyway, so the game shoves wind descriptions down our throats. It’s literally another vehicle for him to emote his love and, to be honest, I don’t do much with it other than use it for that. I talked about it extensively in my character essays, but I suppose I play with the irony of how he’s only free because he has a home can return to. [Loneliness SR Wind and Care Call] “Because I have a place for my heart, I can fly anywhere.”

I don’t believe the game emphasizes this any more than it does with the other men, but I try to always have a point of contact between Bai Qi and his love because, again, the yearning and vibrating with All That Love. He’s such a physical character (military archetype) that I also want to emphasize that in writing.

In addition, I’m all about him being the most feral of the men. Heck, his canon animal is the wolf which is great for both its stereotypical and non-stereotypical meanings, such as being a lone wolf and ferocious animal but also a pack animal that can’t survive on its own and needs a pack. Meanwhile, NW717 is described in-game as a monster.

Look, one of his signature descriptions in the game is resting his chin on or against his love’s head and nuzzling them. I’m not baselessly trying to push my kink I swear.

So, like how Bai Qi said in [Light Bath SSR: Tenderness Call] that maybe he only shows his gentleness towards select people (his love and mother), he’ll give the person he loves all the warmth of his being but, oh boy, I see him as being a beast who will remember his true nature upon being chained; the “chain” of love gives him the reassurance he needs to be truly free... in all its meanings.

Keywords: Ginkgo. Summer. Primal. Wind. Love is love is love. 3-Point Contact. Wolf. Yearning. Vitality. Justice. Freedom. Physical. Restraint.

XU MO

First, given how vocal I am about Elex’s changes, this is probably going to be the most drastically different section out of everyone vs. their English version.

Soft. Light. Gentle. Kind. Gossamery. Feathery. Ethereal. Faint. Whenever I write him, do I literally open up a thesaurus to find synonyms for gentle, light, and soft? Yup! LOL.

Fun fact, in CN and JP the word for “smile” and “laugh” is the same character and so sometimes there is ambiguity when translating if there’s no clear markers. The writers definitely had a word in mind when they wrote the scene, but unfortunately we don’t have the ability to check with them at every use and so sometimes it does come to subjective interpretation.

For me, Xu Mo is characterized by a lot of quietness. Game-wise, there are enormous usages of silence and descriptions of emotional fluctuations in his eyes so Significant Silences and Looks are a major thing with him and in my writing for him, which is why I always choose “smile” over “laugh” if there is any ambiguity in the line (I believe Elex leans towards chuckles).

On a similar note, the game also gives him a gigantic serving of descriptions that only ever use the word for “light, slight, faint, soft, gentle” in JP and CN. It gives him a very floaty and dreamy feeling, even if he’s doing something physical. So, it’s important for me to keep a similar atmosphere when writing and make everything feel as if it has to be shared in a whisper.

A bonus here is that it doesn’t require much to turn this ethereal feeling into a melancholic one, so you get that dash of angst that layers over everything. Leave a few things unknown here and there, incomplete actions, eyes that get averted and Boom. Angst.

Shifting gears, but if my imagery of Bai Qi’s love is like a tense, vibrating, and restrained chain of yearning then Xu Mo’s love is like a flood barely being held back by a dam. Knowledge of the quantity and weight behind the dam is terrifying, but it’s safe to be submerged inside it. Much like Luoluo and Helios, Xu Mo also has a dangerous duality in Ares and so I also like to play with this imagery.

So, on this point, I like to preserve an underlying sense of darkness (all-consuming possessiveness, etc.) and envision that he also wishes to stain his love in his colors, like a drop of ink on white paper and how it seeps into every fiber of the paper until the whole thing is saturated with him.

Incidentally, I’m reminded that—whenever possible and natural—I want to exclusively use water imagery with Xu Mo. The game supports this too! He is described with extensive water imagery and so I try to use water metaphors, analogies, and similes.

I try to make sure every sense is present, but I feel like the game emphasizes (especially with the red thread of fate imagery) that Xu Mo and his love are connected at a soul-deep level and so I always keep in mind a mental, emotional, and spiritual aspect.

Lastly, his canon animal is the fox (we ignore the black goat LOL) so contrasting his elegant, scholarly, and gentleman’s air with a black belly, teasing, and mischievous air is also important! Sexual but with, you know, class.

Keywords: Butterflies. Monochrome. Artist. Red Thread. Autumn. Melancholy. Water. Soft. Gentle. Light. Faint. Dreams. Spiritual. Fox.

LING XIAO

I’m getting more comfortable with him, but he’s still shrouded in so much mystery. If every one of the other men treat their loves with gentleness though Ling Xiao is definitely one who isn’t afraid of roughhousing. He’ll act first and then ask for forgiveness afterward, if needed.

But I like to keep in mind that, for all his roughness, he’s still a good kid at heart and when he saw MC’s skirt rising up when he tried to pull her over the fence he immediately stopped. So, a bit of a bully but without any humiliation.

Intelligent, strong, and dangerous but hiding all of that beneath a devil-may-care attitude and someone who does things on a whim. I don’t know what to do much with his canon animal being the shark except to attach it vaguely to this point and think that, as an apex predator of the sea, it does things at its own pace (somehow, it gives me the image that he likes to bite... but, uh, that’s probably just me LOL).

Keywords: Mercurial. Lightning. Sarcasm. Physical.

#love and producer #mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mlqc gavin #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien #mlqc kiro #mlqc bai qi #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc xu mo #mlqc zhou qiluo #love and produc(ing) meta

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kaminohana · 3 years

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the meme man full analysis

Yeehaw here we go. Analysis of Mikoto Kayano’s video and song, along with some theories about the many themes and symbols in the video. Note: If there’s any other supplemental material for him out there, I haven’t read it. This is just an analysis with the music video we were given. If I happen to miss stuff that was mentioned before, I may talk about it in another post lmao

I was SUPER invested in this video as I watched it and soon realized “Oh shit, I think Mikoto’s plural”. Cuz, you know, I’m plural too (not disclosing what kind) and it felt SO good to see some actual parallels to stuff I go through- though of course not to Mikoto’s degree.

That said, I feel I should make a disclaimer in passing: yes, portraying your only plural character as homicidal ain’t the best representation. But, you know, we’ve seen other cases like that in Milgram so I’m just gonna leave it at that. Personally, I’m not that offended because the execution is SO top-notch. Though, hey, I totally understand how this can be very frustrating to other systems to see plurality depicted in such an unhealthy light- if it’s not for you, it’s not for you.

Keep in mind the point of the Milgram series is to make you uncomfortable in so quickly incriminating someone; if you’re hesitating to determine someone as guilty, hey, that’s probably intended and good! It’s about personal decision, so I’m not going to judge you one way or the other in voting. I just find it fascinating how these videos can put us in such conflict. This is all just my own perspective, BTW, so if you disagree with some of these points, good! I’m just hoping to share my thoughts since I can make a lot of connections. I’m by no means an expert in plurality or tarot, I just have some background in both and decided to try my hand at this analysis, so I really don’t the final say on what’s going on in the video.

Now, onto the actual video analysis.

I’m sticking with the basic idea that Mikoto is split into two parts; his more loveable, gentler side, which I referred to in another post as Softboy Mikoto, and the more violent side which may be acting as a catharsis to his frustrations. I referred to this side previously as the Devil alter, as he is depicted with the Devil major arcana tarot card. I can see how this could be taken badly, so for now I’m just going to refer to him as the shadow alter. There are many themes of duality in the video, most commonly with the symbol of the half moon which appears so many times. Shadow of the moon etc etc. I’ll be bringing this up several times as I analyze the lyrics. I’ll be breaking down the lyrics as evidence to support the idea that Mikoto is plural, and to show how softboy Mikoto (and shadow alter Mikoto) view this particular relationship and how this culminates in murder. Sometimes I refer to Mikoto (as a whole), softboy Mikoto, or shadow alter Mikoto depending on what I’m trying to describe in the below.

First piece: the title. MeMe. Me x2. A dead giveaway, like Umbilical. Also, it can be a meme, which is interesting taking the definition of the word meme in this context: “an element of a culture or system of behavior passed from one individual to another by imitation or other nongenetic means” (Oxford Dictionaries). HMMMM. I know memes are generally within the context of a community, but I think it’s interesting to actually apply this to Mikoto. What exactly is being passed on? Could we argue that Mikoto’s frustrations from one of his parts is being passed on to the other? Interesting to think about, though it may not be relevant.

Going into the lyrics:

So from here I’m guessing there was a point in Mikoto’s life where his plurality was not an issue; or, potentially, there was a time before his split. These were the good times.

Playing dead vs. being alive – representing duality. May refer to how, when one side has their way, the other is locked away in the headspace with no control, thus feeling like being dead. In the context of “if only”, perhaps he’s wishing that he just didn’t do anything if only to prevent things from getting this far.

“If” I could end- I believe Mikoto (particularly softboy Mikoto) is saying “Hey, I have no control over my other side. If I did, would things still be the same? Would I still be ‘letting’ this happen?”

“Keep it” and “hide it away” I feel like are both representative of his shadow alter and of the desires that alter represents. Many words related to destruction are tied to this alter, so it could be seen as Mikoto trying to hide those urges as well.

“’I’ will save ‘me’”- this is a very interesting line that I think very well encapsulates the shadow alter’s initial motives; he’s saying “hey, I’m going to take care of us,” I believe to try and convince softboy Mikoto to let him out. As far as if softboy Mikoto can actually “let” him out is TOTALLY up for debate.

Part of the reason I refer to the other alter as softboy Mikoto is because there are softer words I notice used by him in the song; here’s I’m seeing “snuggle”, so I think this side of him is more vulnerable and soft.

SWITCH, shake up that brain- wow couldn’t be any more obvious here

This is where the chorus starts. This I think is from softboy Mikoto’s perspective, PARTICULARLY when he’s trapped in the headspace. There are many forms of plurality IRL in which alters cannot simultaneously front, so one or more are “pushed” back into the headspace. This very act occurs several times throughout the song in the weird minimalist vaporwave shadow realm room, where the tarot cards are. During this time, we can assume that is when the shadow alter is fronting. Softboy Mikoto slowly starts to become more helpless and fearful in this space as the song goes on, and this is where he makes his celtic cross tarot spread that quite frankly defines the whole song. I discussed that in my other post.

Another facet of plurality that is applied here is amnesia, which is common, especially when alters are pushed back to the headspace. Within the headspace, there may be a lack of awareness to the outside world, which Mikoto seems to express in his confused sentiments like the above (in the video, he is also scratching his head, which as a gesture can represent being confused). “Why am I here?” can act as a double entendre, both referring to “Why have I suddenly been pushed to this headspace?” as well as the whole point of Milgram- “Why am I in prison?”. He may not be aware of exactly what he did, hence why he feels it’s a mistake. He may be experiencing amnesia of what his shadow alter is doing, so he doesn’t even know what crime he committed. However, he at least has enough awareness to tell someone else is present in his body doing things, so he begs the viewer “Hey, just watch whatever my body is doing and it’ll all eventually make sense. I don’t have access to this information, but you do.” I thought this was an interesting fourth wall break.

The truth revealing itself could also be the truth coming to light from the particular tarot reading he does in the headspace; note that the cards only seem to be appear in this place and not in the outside world. So softboy Mikoto is trying to figure out what’s going on this way. If he can’t figure it out himself, maybe the cards can give him some direction.

Another duality- “I won’t forgive you if you reveal the truth” vs. “However I know I’m right when I say I’m innocent”. Or he could be right about something else.

I’m wondering if the breaking here is just reflecting the shadow alter or is softboy Mikoto actually wishing he could end the shadow alter. He at least wants things to change; the way things are right now is not something he’s okay with. Though, it sounds like he isn’t getting help with this and has no idea if he can even arrest full control again. It seems at this point, this has been going on for a while so he’s stopped trying.

In the video, the shadow alter is doing a GREAT job hiding the evidence; while of course probably just trying to not get caught, the shadow alter may also be trying to hide his crime from softboy Mikoto so he’s none the wiser.

He’s hoping he can be rid of the shadow alter side, but I think he also is dumping all his difficult feelings onto the shadow alter. Maybe he feels its some sort of release, even if he can’t control it, so he feels a lot of guilt over the shadow alter’s existence, even though that alter is serving a purpose as a conduit for those emotions.

I really really think though that there IS some connection between softboy Mikoto and shadow alter Mikoto. Maybe they are both truly aware of each other, hence the scene where they are viewing each other through the mirror. I think here, softboy Mikoto might be admitting that it feels good to let the shadow alter out, like a hug. The “minus energy” probably refers to the shadow alter.

“Maybe it’s okay that we’re separated like this?” he wonders. There seems to be a sense of feeling alive at least that is conveyed through the shadow alter.

SPLIT IN HALF- yeah, again, pretty encompassing.

In the video, I think this is when we have a switch, as Mikoto’s expression changes in the outside world mirror.

The chorus again, softboy Mikoto is shoved into the vaporwave shadow realm headspace. He’s asking the audience to investigate him here, but I also like to joke that he’s like “uwu look at me I could never harm anybody, pwease let me out”, which may be true only so far as softboy Mikoto is out.

I wonder if in “I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me” is directed at the shadow alter instead of the audience? Like softboy Mikoto is saying “I swear to god if you murdered someone im gonna be so pissed, but I also already kinda know it’s happening.” Just another take.

In the video, softboy Mikoto is THROWN into the headspace, where he is gifted with just one hint of what’s going on: The Devil tarot card.

You DARE accuse Miette of murder? Oh! 1000 years jail for Milgram viewer!

Now the vaporwave space starts to turn into a bloody mess; perhaps now softboy Mikoto is starting to put two and two together.

“Hurting it, holding it down, it doesn’t change anything, does it”- I definitely understand this being plural, like if your alters are causing problems, you may try and chastise them, or you may try and lock them away deep inside, but that often doesn’t stop them from existing. It’s really cool how that idea is present here. Like YES that’s how it is quite often. So even if softboy Mikoto TRIES to smother or accuse his shadow alter, that’s not going to change anything.

It being the same anywhere he goes makes me think he’s been putting up with this for a long time, that it’s not about what environment he’s in because his shadow alter is with him everywhere he goes.

“It’s like what’s wrong isn’t wrong”- may be referring to multiple things:

-the shadow alter having a different morality (hence why murder is okay for him, his indulgence in smokes and…redbull/alcohol, etc)

-OR, how softboy Mikoto’s amnesia isn’t letting him understand the full picture so everything is okay when he’s out fronting (shadow alter cleaned the place up and stuff, perhaps hiding all evidence of murder)

-“I’m already the fake one”- a very common sentiment for plural folks, worrying if you as an alter aren’t “the original” or if you’re not actually split and it’s something you’re making up, etc. I think softboy Mikoto is having these feelings. Poor boy, wish we could get you some therapy instead :/ (all of Milgram would be very different if only most of these people could get therapy, let’s be honest)

Now, what’s special here is that BOTH alters are in the headpace, with shadow alter Mikoto looming ominously behind softboy Mikoto.

During this next instrumental, just a side note: we see what’s going on through security footage. The security cameras reflecting a third person perspective is kind of neat in context of pluralism, where someone else fronting can feel like a third person awareness to another alter. I may be thinking too much into this one, but it’s a fun connection.

Another thing many plural folk go through: DISSOCIATION FROM REALITY. Ah yes, my good friend dissociation. Especially like in Mikoto’s case, where the consequences of being split have drastic consequences, he could be running away from the truth which may always be partially concealed to him. Something’s VERY wrong, he knows this for sure, and it may be at this point he really realizes “Oh shit. I just committed murder.” But instead of taking responsibility in any way, he’s trying to imagine that it’s a fabricated reality. I’m not going to say if this makes him bad or not, but it is a known coping mechanism.

I know I mention that the bad habits of smoking and drinking may be the shadow alters habits, but they could also be softboy Mikoto’s own methods of escapism, which definitely fits with the above lyrics. “I need to wake up soon”- but he still realizes that he’s going to have to face the harsh truth of reality soon.

Now this point indicates a marked change in softboy Mikoto and shadow alter Mikoto’s relationship: I believe there may be a time when softboy Mikoto expects to come back out to the front, but now the shadow alter is starting to take over fully and keep softboy Mikoto locked inside. This is supported by the Outcome card in his celtic cross spread being The Devil. Not only does this card have its own meanings, but here it may mean that the more violent side of him takes over.

Again, don’t know if he’s talking to the audience or his shadow alter in never forgiving this outcome. I believe softboy Mikoto does have a clearer morality in that murder is NOT okay, and if he were to fully acknowledge that he as a whole was capable of that, I think he’d break down. So he’s like “it better NOT be true” because he doesn’t know how he’d be able to deal with that.

Interesting in the video is when Mikoto snaps and the headspace turns red again; I would think this is when the shadow alter is entering the scene and taking over. The snap here is symbolic of the switch.

Now presumably softboy Mikoto is like “PWEASE WET ME OUT MISTEW OBAMA”, which, again with the double meaning, can refer to letting him out of the vaporwave shadow realm headspace OR letting him out of prison. Both apply.

“That it’s a lie

That I’m right”- a nice duality here. Mikoto is having difficulty separating the truth from reality.

Also NOW he is forgiving. Forgiveness vs not forgiveness (grudge)

I think it’s gotten so bad that he’s like “okay fine. Fine if I committed murder, fine if you’re accusing me of murder, but please help me understand what’s going on. Let me out”. Maybe he’ll forgive the shadow alter if only he fesses up to the murder.

Of note for the scene however is that shadow alter Mikoto is holding up The Fool card, which represents softboy Mikoto in this case. “I’m right” may be the shadow alter’s sentiment.

-THE CARDS AT THE END-

Then, all the cards show up in more detail, all depicting weapons instead of the standard minor arcana that you might see in your standard Rider Waite tarot deck (which these are based off of). The Wands are baseball bats, the Swords are kitchen knives, the Cups are…poison cans? Acid? The Pentacles are….records but I can see these being rotary saws if you squint. The Wheel of Fortune has car wheels with a snake….GTA time baby (the snake being hidden danger, the devil’s temptation, etc). The chariot is a really weird motorcycle death machine. I was thinking how like, people would drag people along behind them while driving a vehicle as a method of torture so there is that.

Now we see some cards not in the original spread- I think this represents shadow alter Mikoto inserting himself into the headspace and changing things to fit his goals. We see a couple placed in the original spread, but some don’t and are just free-floating, but you’ll see below we have enough context to decipher their meaning.

First, it’s the Page of Pentacles, which has taken over the position of the 7 of swords as the current challenge affecting the issue. This card indicates “Manifestation, financial opportunity, skill development”. I think this means the shadow alter is finally learning to take full control.

Then we see the reverse 2 of swords, which represents “Indecision, confusion, information overload, stalemate”. This could probably represent softboy Mikoto not suddenly understanding why the shadow alter is ALSO in the headspace. Maybe his dual presence in the outside world AND the headspace is indicative of exactly when he learned to take full control. This was NOT in Mikoto’s original spread.

Wheel of Fortune again, which was in the original spread. “Bad luck, negative external forces, out of control”. Yup, that confirms it.

Next, the Five of Swords from the original spread comes up. “Conflict, tension, loss.png, defeat, win at all costs, betrayal”. Softboy Mikoto is now being completely taken over. There is a facedown card on the chair. This might be the one that reads as Death later, so it may be that softboy Mikoto is…KILLED OFF?

Cup of Ace, “Love, compassion, creativity, overwhelming emotion”. I think this one is also meant to represent softboy Mikoto, but it could be that the shadow alter sees it as an act of mercy to take full control for softboy Mikoto. Maybe he feels his alter can’t handle reality and he’s going to take over full time. Or more likely he just has ulterior motives.

Reverse King of Cups. “emotional manipulation, moodiness, volatility”. Softboy Mikoto was lead along, thinking it was okay to leave things to the shadow alter or to exist alongside him. Now we see that isn’t a viable solution.

Reverse Five of Wands. “conflict avoidance, diversity, agreeing to disagree”. I went over this more in the other post.

Chariot is the last one, WHICH ALSO WAS NOT IN THE ORIGINAL SPREAD. “Control, willpower, success, action, determination”. The shadow alter Mikoto has taken full control. Which is very quickly followed by…

Shadow alter Mikoto drawing Death. Also not in the original spread. Perhaps effectively “killing off” softboy Mikoto and betraying him.

Concluding Thoughts.

Now, I understand I do take most of these lyrics from softboy Mikoto’s perspective, but I’m sure there’s a layer of deception added on by his shadow alter. The Challenge card of the 7 of swords did represent betrayal. So softboy Mikoto’s only context into what’s going on outside may be his headspace tarot reading. If you want to question some of the lyrics, or even think one of the alters is lying, that would add SO much to the complexity of the situation, and I wouldn’t put it past the Milgram team to add something like that.

Common Themes/Symbols:

The mirror, both in the headspace and in the outside world bathroom

The Hanged Man- in a painting in the headspace and on Mikoto’s shirt. Indicative of being wrongly accused or martyred. Softboy Mikoto is likely represented with this, as well as The Fool. The Fool painting probably is there to show that he doesn’t know any better, that he is without the knowledge of what his shadow alter is doing (or doesn’t believe he’s doing anything wrong)

The Half Moon- a light side and a dark side. Pretty self-explanatory. Symbolically, it can also represent life and death. NICE.

Sorry if the conclusions end up being kind of vague. That’s the way a lot of this video is; what’s really going on, as it usually is, is up to viewer interpretation at this stage. I was just hoping to provide a bit of context into the images in the video, plural life, and narrator interpretation. I just really love this video and after this full analysis hope others can at least appreciate the work that went into it.

#milgram #MeMe (milgram)#mikoto kayano #kayano mikoto

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mystifiicd · 2 years

Text

POST NO WAY HOME verse ( NO WAY HOME verse is the same as the movie plus / minus a few details ).

Most of the time, Stephen will not exactly know who Peter is. He does however know about Spiderman because the concept of Spiderman has not been wiped from the world since Jameson still remembers there being a Spiderman at the end of the film. But at the same time, due to Stephen having a photographic memory ( as he can’t forget the the 2012 attack of New York as he was there working as a surgeon and say many casualties that day, dying 1000 times fighting Dormammu, and seeing all those possible futures where everyone loses / dies including himself while fighting Thanos ), will remember bits and pieces of his time with Peter, like fragments of time. He was also only the one who casted both spells and casted the last one on a ton of pressure. While the effects made it seem like everyone forgot who Peter Parker was, there are things like Michelle’s pendant that shouldn’t be there and the mysterious piece of Venom that did not get sent home with Eddie. Wong did say to Stephen that tempering with the spell could become dangerous if not used right. Not like I am saying Stephen messed up the spell but things are not like they should be, as in everything seems fine at the surface but helping all those villains had quite the effect on the multiverse, good intentions or not. More so if there is a character that was supposed to be gone and they come back, stay for some reason or another ( as in some people have verses where Otto doesn’t go back ), it’s going to mess with everything and anything.

Since they both live in New York and Stephen does go outside to touch grass like a normal person as he’s been shown in casual clothes in both Infinity War and No Way Home, showing to have a cute ‘for fox’s sake’ mug and he’s not sorcerer supreme right now ( that’s Wong, who downs a whole alcoholic drink in Shang-Chi and immediately regrets it, I love you Wong ), would be more inclined to run into Peter Parker and maybe strike up a conversation. Either of them initiating it because Stephen isn’t a total jackass as people want him to be and can have a decent conversation. And he can empathize with feeling like he’s all alone because basically he is ( Wong has responsibilities as sorcerer supreme so he can’t be with Stephen all the time and he didn’t really connect with any of the avengers except for Thor on a small tiny scale. Tony is dead so that’s a no go either ). And just because he lost the memory of Peter, there isn’t any harm in trying again. Their conversation can be more grounded as in being broke or just talking about how life sucks, gets better, and then sucks again. Or how they had to let go of their love interests for the sake of something greatest out there in the world. Peter is in pain and one of Stephen’s famous lines in his own movie are; ‘Pain’s an old friend of mine’. He can still be a father figure to Peter in a sense, not as before but still this is a guy who believes in giving people second chances like he was given in his own film. So this verse is pretty much Stephen just being a person first and foremost before the Multiverse of Madness sets in. He still holes up in the Sanctum from time to time but for now, this a small calm before the storm.

#[ be careful what you wish for. NWH / POST NWH verse ]#long post: tw #no way home spoilers;;#nwh spoilers;;#shang chi spoilers;;#just in case;;#me listening to spongebob music while writing this with tears coming down my eyes is an experience I tell you;;

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ashxketchum · 3 years

Note

For the handholding prompts! Taiora + 37? :3 Have a lovely day

Hello! Sorry for such a long wait, at first I was really confused by what I should write for Taiora with this prompt, and by the time I got around to outlining the scene, life happened 😔

But finally today I was able to sit down and get this out of my brain! This is set right after the battle with Ordinemon in Tri Part 6 and is mostly canon compliant. I hope you enjoy it, thank you for requesting 🧡

37. not realizing they’re holding hands till someone points it out

Taichi’s gut kept telling him that he was missing something, but he brushed it away. What could he be possibly missing when he was sitting with a wall of comfort surrounding him? That’s why even as the thought continued to gnaw at him, he refused to open his eyes and acknowledge the problem, it could be dealt with later, when his nap would be over and he would wake up feeling well rested and refreshed. For now he wanted to bask in the feeling of floating in sunshine, with every aching muscle in his body being cured of it’s pain, every tired fibre in his body being refuelled with energy. He wouldn’t dare open his eyes right now, not when he could hide under this umbrella of comfort for a little while longer, because who knew if it would still be there to shelter him from the stinging raindrops of reality when he woke, or if it would leave him drenched and broken, as it had once before.

NEXT STATION-

The words rang in his ears like a blaring alarm and suddenly Taichi was very much aware of where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. His eyes jolted open and he made to get up, when a familiar weight on his shoulder made him halt as realisation dawned fully upon him, of course the warmth had belonged to Sora who still slept quietly with her whole body leaning on him and her head resting on his shoulder, just like two puzzle pieces perfectly aligned.

The announcement echoed again throughout the train compartment and Taichi broke out of his daze, deciding that now was not the time to marvel over these little things, he quickly stood up. When he did so, Sora woke with a start, her eyes fluttering open in slow motion, but as they didn’t really have time for her to be fully awake, Taichi grabbed her hand in his and pulled her onto her feet, dragging her behind him as he rushed to get out of the train just as the doors slid shut.

He turned to face Sora and ask her if she was feeling okay but saw that her eyes were still drooping low and she held on to his grasp on her hand tightly for support as her feet wobbled out of balance. Taichi couldn’t really blame her, in fact he was relieved that he wasn’t the only one who felt like they had been made to run a marathon for 1000 years without a break. The visits to Digital World, the adventure and the battles had always been exhausting, but today their strength had been put to test in a way that none of them had ever expected to encounter, and the price of overcoming it all was pure exhaustion, both mentally and physically.

So Taichi kept quiet and gently pulled Sora along with himself across the mostly empty platform, glad that he had been the one to volunteer to take her home as he was so familiar with the route that he could probably reach there even with his eyes closed. He also didn’t mind the silence that had settled between them as they walked slowly but steadily, as Taichi wasn’t sure if he had anything left to say to anyone after the lengthy interrogation him and his friends had been subjected to by the authorities right after Ordinemon had been defeated, without so much as a moment spared for them to deal with the loss of their Digimon friend.

Even though Taichi’s session had lasted the longest as he was the only one to witness Nishijima’s demise he still felt that Sora had been subjected to a more difficult task, which was consoling not just Meiko, but also Hikari and Mimi as they had sat in the room waiting to be called in for questioning. As always, she had given every bit of her energy into taking care of others rather than herself, so Taichi attempted to make things easier for her the only way he knew how to, by keeping quiet and giving her the space to deal with everything at her own pace.

It was when they reached her home and rang the bell that Sora finally looked like she was awake, right on time Taichi thought, as at least he’d be able to tell her to take care of herself and have her actually retain those words in her head. So he turned slightly, hoping to bid her goodbye before her mother opened the door, but as tired as he was, he missed his chance to make a quick escape. The door swung open before he could open his mouth and a bright light was cast upon them and the dimly lit hallway.

Mrs. Takenouchi stood behind the door, looking like she had rushed to the door in a hurry that was uncommon for her, her face an odd mixture of relief and concern as she studied her daughter. Then her eyes travelled down and she raised them in mild surprise, another thing which was unusual for the stern Mrs. Takenouchi, so both Taichi and Sora followed her astonished gaze and experienced a rude awakening themselves as they saw that their hands were still tightly clasped around each other’s. They quickly pulled their hands away and shifted a few steps away from each other to put some distance between them.

Taichi was amazed by how despite of being so tired, his body could still find the energy to turn his face into a heated mess, and smoke coming out of his ears now wouldn't come as a shock to anyone.

“Good evening, Mrs. Takenouchi.” He mumbled awkwardly to fill the silence and draw attention away from the fact that he had been unknowingly holding onto Sora’s hand for who knows how long now. He could only hope that Sora too knew that it had been unintentional, and that he hadn’t meant to overstep his boundaries.

“Good evening, Taichi. I am relieved to see that you’re both okay, though you do look like you need a few days worth of rest.” She smiled softly at the two teens, turning to face her daughter with an affectionate gaze, she added, “Sora, welcome back.”

“I’m home.” Sora replied almost automatically, and satisfied with the response Mrs. Takenouchi passed a peculiar look to her daughter before she headed back inside, leaving the two of them alone to say their goodbyes.

Sora took this chance to move inside her house, now taking Mrs. Takenouchi’s place in the doorway, finally facing Taichi with her eyes wide open, though they were still filled with reflections of what had transpired in the past few days.

Taichi remembered that he had been meaning to tell her to take care of herself before her mother had arrived at the door, but when he looked at Sora now, with her figure illuminated by the white light coming from inside her house, her vermillion eyes shining with tears that were being kept at bay with every bit of remaining energy in her body, he lost the words he had so carefully selected a few moments ago. He wished instead that telling her how much he cared for her and her wellbeing could be as easy as taking her hand and pulling her to her feet. He knew he had to say something however, because not only had the silence between them become suddenly deafening, but also because he couldn’t possibly leave without a word of appreciation or gratefulness for all that she had done for Hikari and the rest of them today.

“Don’t forget to eat dinner,” He joked, hoping to lighten the mood enough to easily slip the words he wanted to say out of his mouth, but his half-grin seemed to light something in Sora as one lonely tear slipped down her cheek slowly despite her strained efforts to keep it from happening.

“Don’t ever disappear like that again, Taichi.” Her voice trembled as she spoke and Taichi felt a pang in his chest at her tone, “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t come back. You can’t leave me behind just like that!”

“I’m sorry.” Taichi muttered quietly, that was all that he could manage to say out loud.

In reality he wanted to remind her that there were other people in her life who would easily be able to fill the gap he would leave, that it was not fair for her to stand there and tell him this, knowing well enough who he had meant to save in that moment. But he held his tongue, it had been a long few days for both of them and now was not the time to turn regrets of the past into bitter remarks that he may never be able to go back from.

“Please. Promise me, you will never do that again.” Her pleading voice was just above a whisper and it was a miracle that it even reached his ears.

“I will, if you promise something in return too.” Taichi replied in a determined tone, his hands balling up into fists on their own as he fixed her with an intense gaze. Sora looked at him with doubt at first, but eventually nodded at his words tiredly, “You have to promise to start putting yourself first from now on, no matter what.”

“That’s a difficult promise to make.”

“So is what you’re asking of me.” Taichi refused to back down.

“I’m asking you to take care of yourself, that isn’t too hard.”

“Likewise.”

And silence settled between them once again as Sora glared up at him and Taichi returned the favour with equal vigour. He had no idea how either of them still had the energy to keep this up, but even if it meant sacrificing being closer to his bed for a little while longer, he would gladly do so to get Sora to treat herself better. If he had learned anything from what they had all been through in the past few days, it was that change should always be embraced, for better or for worse. He didn’t know just how much Sora could change her ways or how it would affect her presence in all of the Digidestined’s lives, but he knew that if she didn’t start now then she wouldn’t start ever and he was tired of seeing her be the victim of her own labours of love.

“Okay.” She sighed in defeat, as her glare turned into an exhausted and disgruntled stare, “Okay, I promise to put myself first from now on, no matter what.”

“And I promise to take care of myself and not jump headfirst into danger without a second thought.” Taichi chimed after her, a smile spreading across his face as he realised that he’d actually gotten Sora to bend to his demands.

There was a first time for everything, he thought to himself, and secretly hoped that this wouldn’t be the last of it either.

#taiora #taichi yagami #sora takenouchi #digimon #digimon fanfiction #digimon adventure tri #writealot #you know a taichi pov was pending from me when I inserted him in literally all the mimato oneshots lol #one more request to go from this series and i hope to get it done soon!

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ly-canthropewrites · 4 years

Text

Trust and Security

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Word Count: 3460 words (I was aiming for 1000, but let’s just say - it got away from me)

Ratings/Warnings: SFW.

Summary: “Didn’t you hear the news? It’s safer to shower in pairs” @twdeadfanfic

It’s been over a month since the prison fell, and your group was weary. After one month of being out on the road, vulnerable and exhausted, your little family finds safety behind the tall walls of the Alexandria Safe Zone. Although, the walls do nothing to cease your skittishness.

The new folk behind the walls were kind and gracious, but at the same time, naive and inexperienced to what lays behind their safe haven and that worries you. It worries your group as well; everyone picking up on the credulous attitudes and their misty-eyed optimism and it just doesn’t sit right.

The first few days were difficult, a strange adjustment period. After being used to the wilderness and the danger it includes to now having a proper house to sleep in and call home, it felt, surreal. But after a few days, some of your people begin to relax and enjoy the safety of Alexandria.

You weren’t one of them, and neither was Daryl. The pair of you refused to believe in this wonderland, a shared acceptance in the belief that this place will fall just like the prison and just like any other ‘safe place’ that stood before. Perhaps you weren’t giving this place a chance? Perhaps it is easier to set yourself up for failure rather than have your hopes high? Regardless of the reasoning behind it, you just can’t get rid of the gnawing feeling of the false safety this place eludes.

Almost daily, Rick tries to convince you of Alexandria’s potential. He exemplifies the possibility of having a future here, a safe future for Carl and Judith to grow up in, a safe place where there isn’t fear about the dead or the dangers that stalk outside the walls. And almost daily, both you and Daryl turn him down, stubborn in your ways and between the false reality constructed and the abnormal kindness from the residents, you can’t help but feel unsafe.

You can’t lie, however, that Alexandria does have its perks. You have been here for 5 days already and you have not gone hungry once in that time. It is nice to have a healthy food supply, to have a blanket and a mattress that isn’t damaged or dirty and of course, it is nice to be clean. You have taken advantage of the running water system in the town, taking more showers in the last 5 days than you have in the month and it is a luxury that you allow yourself to indulge in.

The first time you had a shower you almost cried. Not one for the emotions normally, it couldn’t be helped that day when hot, running water cascading over you, temporarily washing away the trauma and pain of the apocalyptic world. For a moment, you could forget the ones you’ve lost, the agony and anguish every time you’ve had to take a life, the suffering and torture you’ve endured. For a moment, you could just be no-one.

- - -

Day six lingers, and the house is quiet. It had been decided yesterday that it’s possible to make Alexandria home and for that, houses were given to share. Rick, Carl, Judith and Michonne moved next door, never too far away from family but it gave them enough space to breathe. A large portion of the group, consisting of Abraham, Eugene, Sasha and Rosita, moved into another house on the same street. The remaining were quick to claim rooms; Maggie and Glenn taking a room as well as Carol stealing the spare. It left you and Daryl with a little bedroom on the ground floor and the lounge room. It didn’t matter, neither of you slept much nowadays and if you did, it was never at the same time. One always had to be on watch.

It was a silent arrangement, just like how your friendship blossomed. One day you were alone, despite being with the group, lingering to one side, keeping one eye on the wilderness around you as if you were ready to jump up and run into its clutches. But then one day, with no significant event as the catalyst, Daryl grew close, being drawn to your side every time a new camp was set up. Neither of you asked for the other to join, it just always happened. It became an unspoken rule that you were to always be partners. If you were to go hunting, so would Daryl. If you chose to set up your sleeping roll in the corner, Daryl would linger close. If you missed a meal, or gave your portion to someone else, then Daryl would give you some of his. It was unspoken, but it was law. You weren’t to be separated.

- - -

Summer had followed your group to Alexandria and the pair of you sat on the porch. Daryl was fiddling with his crossbow, nimble fingers twirling and unwinding certain pieces, tightening this and that, fixing up his bolts before giving the entire weapon a wipe down. He worked methodically, quietly, as if his actions were second nature to him. You shamelessly watched him periodically, fascinated by the sleek weapon and by the rugged man. He was your best friend, your partner and companion. You would die for him and he would die for you. It was simple. It was easy. And he was the single person that never failed to bring a smile to your lips.

Satisfied with your ogling, you return to your book. It wasn’t yours to begin with. It came with the furnished house and in a moment of boredom, you plucked it from its place with every intention to fill the small gap of monotony. What you hadn’t expected was to become engrossed with the novel, completely swept up in the mythical world it held.

“Yer almost finished that thing yet?”

Daryl breaks your train of thought, startling you back into the world of reality and you shrug.

“Got a few chapters to go,” you say, flicking ahead to see that you indeed have almost completed the fiction.

“You only started yesterday arvo’“ Daryl states, crooking an eyebrow in your direction, his hands continuing to work on the crossbow without a visual guide.

“What can I say, I’m a fast reader. You finished playing with that crossbow yet? You’ve been fiddling with that thing for the past 3 days now,” You are quick to shoot back at him, a smirk dancing across your lips in victory and Daryl scoffs, shaking his head in small amusement as he turns his gaze back to the item in his lap.

You finish your book just in time for Carol to leave the house, the older woman looking well dressed and holding a container of cookies. Both you and Daryl raise an eyebrow at her, silent questions being asked, and she pointedly ignores them.

“Have you even had a shower yet?” She asks sternly, giving the quiet man a stiff side glance that he shrugs off.

“I’ll hose you down when you sleep,” she threatens, “you are filthy Daryl, just take a goddamn shower”.

You stifle a giggle, biting down on your lip to hide your growing smile but you fail miserably, and a chuckle escapes you. Daryl hears it, glancing over at you with a bored expression but when he sees you smiling, he can’t fight back a little smirk of his own.

“You enjoy watching Carol take the piss out of me, ay?” he questions gruffly, and you laugh at that openly, throwing your head back to revel in the moment.

“Hell yeah I do. Who wouldn’t?” you tease, poking your tongue out when Daryl rolls his eyes.

With your book done, you throw it onto the table beside you and stand up, stretching out your arms as you unfold from your previous position. Your shoulders pop loudly as you rotate them and you groan with satisfaction, eyes closed as you continue to move your body. You miss how Daryl’s eyes selfishly gawk at the sliver of skin that is revealed as you stretch, your shirt just riding up to show the smoothness of your skin and he wonders how soft your body would be beneath his hands.

His eyes quickly snap back to his crossbow when he hears you hum, stretching complete and body limber.

“You off then?” he questions, not looking up at you as he speaks, fear that his eyes will reveal things he refuses to say.

“Yeah, might have a lie-down or somethin’“

“Gonna take one of yer ten million showers?” he teases you and a warm flutter erupts in his chest when his words make you laugh.

“Showers aren’t the enemy, Daryl” you remind him, a smile easy on your lips, but your tone is firm.

He grunts, explicitly refusing to respond and you sigh.

“Come shower with me,”

Those words catch his attention. His head whips up to look at you, eyes wide and stunned. You admire his surprised expression, noticing how his lips part ever so slightly and how he sucks in a shallow breath as he processes your words and intentions.

“Didn’t you hear the news? It’s safer to shower in pairs,” you joke, but your eyes convey understanding.

Daryl remains frozen for another moment or two, waiting for the punchline or the taunt but it never comes. Of course, it wouldn’t. He knows you. You aren’t like that, not to him. So, when it clicks that this isn’t an immoral joke and he allows himself to believe your gentleness, he nods, flustered but agreeing.

You give him a small smile, jerking your head in the direction of the front door before you turn to walk through it, not waiting for Daryl to move. You know he would follow, he has always followed you and he would follow you to the end of the earth.

By the time he reaches the bathroom, you already have the shower turned on. You have your hand beneath the stream, testing it, determined to have the perfect temperature and it is so unlike you, but at the same time, it is. He has seen you kill walkers with your bare hands, he has seen your unfiltered rage and your grief, and he has seen the special compassion you reserve for Carl and Judith. But it is rare for him to see you this gentle, this soft, this caring.

You know he is there, standing in the doorway watching you. You felt the heaviness of his gaze the moment he reached the second floor. But you don’t mention it, instead, you hum as you adjust the water before turning around to rifle through the cabinets for soap. The house is a treasure-trove of good items and the luxury of having a shower also extends to bathroom products. There are different types of soaps and shampoo to choose from and Daryl sees you fish out two items; a creamy soap bar and a green bottle. You set them both inside the shower before stepping back.

“Go on, get in” you gesture to the shower.

“Thought you were havin’ the first one?”

“And leave you with an opportunity to escape hygiene? Not a chance,” you retort

You know him too well, he thinks fondly. But an uneasiness sets in and you can see apprehension flit across his face.

“Daryl, you can shower. I won’t be leaving, I’ll be right here” you say tenderly, taking a seat on the closed toilet lid to prove your point. You weren’t going to leave him alone.

It’s reassuring, as much as Daryl hates to admit it. He isn’t used to having someone stand by him unwaveringly like you do. He hates to admit that he has come to lean on you, come to let you in. You have never pressured him, never forced his hand and for that, you unknowingly have his eternal gratitude.

“I won’t even look, so hurry up otherwise the water will run cold,” you announce, making a big show of closing your eyes and slapping a hand across your face for good measure.

Daryl cracks a smile at your theatrics, relief rolling off him in waves and slowly he begins to unbutton his shirt. Your ears strain to listen, to catch a sound so you can guess what he is doing. The rustle of a shirt confirms that he hasn’t bolted, and it makes you smile. What you don’t see is how Daryl’s fingers shake slightly as he works his belt undone as well as his jeans. He is stripping off his layers, both literally and metaphorically, and he hasn’t ever felt this bare, even with your eyes closed. He keeps his eyes trained on you as he edges towards the shower, his back never turning to reveal the ugly past that is marked into his skin and he only feels relief when he has the shower curtain drawn, letting it act as a barrier in all senses.

He has to admit; the hot water does feel heavenly. His sigh is, thankfully, masked by the sound of the shower and Daryl closes his eyes, tipping his head back and completely embraces the water. He stands there for a few moments, relishing in the luxury and the feeling of his muscles slowly unwinding, and he almost hates himself for putting this off for so long. He is so lost in heaven that he almost forgets that you are still sitting in the bathroom with him.

He pokes his head out, eyes falling on you and he smiles when he sees that you haven’t moved from your seated position, hands still covering your face but to keep you occupied, you bounce your leg.

It’s almost as if you know he is staring at you because you speak up,

“How’s the shower?” you ask

“Are ya comin’ in or what?” he ignores your question, now smugly watching your surprised reaction.

Gobsmacked, your hands fall from your face, mouth hanging open and your eyebrows raised in disbelief. This is the first time he ever hears you stutter.

“Wh- what?”

“Are ya gettin’ in or not? Ya expect me to leave you sittin’ and waitin’ for me?”

You nod, “Daryl Dixon, I didn’t expect you to invite me to shower with you”

“Sunshine, you did the invitin’ first”

“I never specified if I was to be in the same shower as you at the same time” you respond, shock fading quickly as your confidence returns and Daryl enjoys the transformation.

“Get in” he mutters and drops the curtain, standing back to leave you some room for when you come in.

You are quicker to strip than he was and although he knows you are coming, he can’t help but jump when you step into the cubicle. You notice, of course you notice, but as always, you don’t comment. Instead, you smile up at him with such a warm gaze, Daryl feels his heart clench. Silently, you grab the soap bar and lift it up, expressing your question through your look and he nods. You are gentle as you run the bar over his shoulders and down his arms, taking your time to sudd up your hands so you can run your fingers over each individual digit, cleaning them of the dirt and the grime that had accumulated. Daryl was silent during your endeavour but by the quickness of the rise and fall of his chest depicted his nervousness.

“Tell me if it gets too much” you murmur, eyes flicking to meet his and it amazes him how you don’t pressure him, letting him control his limits. It is his blind trust in you that allows you to be this close to him and you know how hard it is for the redneck to open up to you, to let you close to his turmoil.

“Nah, s’okay” he mutters breathlessly.

You continue on to his torso, rubbing the bar in circular motions and its satisfying to watch the water run dirty, revealing more of the gorgeous man in front of him. Daryl fears it will get awkward when you kneel down in front of him, eyes closed as he wills himself not to make a fool out of himself. Either or not you pick up on his anxious, you don’t say, but you avert your eyes from his lax cock, focusing on cleaning his strong legs. When you are finished Daryl offers you a hand, holding it firmly as he pulls you to your feet and once steady, he doesn’t let go.

“I can leave your back” you offer. The story of the scars isn’t new to you, but their appearance is. He hasn’t let you cast your eyes upon the monstrosities, barely able to look at them himself.

He is torn, gnawing at his lip as he tries to decide on an answer, but his silence is one you will accept. With a fond smile you shrug, reassuring him to the best of your ability.

“That’s okay, tilt your head forward, hun” you are quick to move on, distracting him from the dangerous thoughts that threaten to surface, and it works, the pet name is a pleasant sound falling from your lips.

He obeys, tilting his head forward and closing his eyes as the water runs down his cheekbones. The pop of the shampoo bottle alerts him to your intentions and a sprig of mint fills the steamy air. Your fingers massage his scalp as you clean the brown tresses and Daryl bows beneath your touch. He slumps forward, head resting upon your shoulder in full submission and you pressed a lingering kiss to his temple, fingers never ceasing their ministrations until they begin to cramp a while later. You don’t want to move him, savouring the weight of his body against yours but the suds need to be washed out, so you tap his shoulder. Daryl washes out the remaining suds himself before he looks down at you, guilt suddenly creeping upon him.

“Do yer want me... to, ya know”

Bashfully, he gestures to you, but you shake your head laughing.

“No Daryl, it’s fine, but thank you” you say sincerely, “now, let’s get you out of here and into clean clothes, hey”.

The shower gets switched off and the pair of you emerge from the stuffy cubicle. Daryl grabs the towels first, handing you one before wrapping his around his waist. There is no third towel to cover his back and he is painfully aware of that fact, tensing up as he realises that he is closest to the door and will have to turn around to walk out. Once again you amaze him, slipping by to walk out first and Daryl lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

When Daryl appears, he finds you in the small bedroom, stretched out on the bed with your eyes closed.

“Tired?”

“Warm showers make me sleepy” you confess, opening your eyes to look up at the man sheepishly.

He hums and remains standing at the end of the bed, hands tucked into the pockets of the old sweatpants that hang from his hips and takes his time to admire you. He doesn’t admire your clothes, although the sight of you in snug clothes makes the fluttering in his chest go faster; but he soaks in your comfortableness, your trust.

He doesn’t ask if you could move and make room for him, wordlessly you do it anyway when Daryl begins to climb onto the bed. He flops onto the mattress once he reaches the pillow, heaving a sigh as his body melts into the softness of the mattress. He rarely allows himself to sleep on it, leaving it for you to use while he takes the couch or the chair outside on the porch. And just like the shower, he realises how much he has been missing out on. And he is sick of it.

“Yer too good to me, Y/N” he mumbles, and you chuckle, shaking your head before you roll onto your side to face him.

“Nah, just doing what is right”. What you deserve.

You both fall silent, letting the post-shower haze settle over you and allowing your bodies to relax.

You are on the cusp of sleep when you feel Daryl’s hand slip into yours, calloused skin brushing against yours and instinctively you tighten your grip, Daryl squeezing back.

“Thank you” he murmurs.

You don’t say anything, fighting the pull of sleep and with a last-ditch effort you curl into Daryl, his arms sweeping you closer to his chest and cocooned in his security, you allow yourself to drift to sleep.

Alexandria may be weak, but it’s given you a safe haven, and maybe it isn’t all that bad.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl x oc #twd #the walking dead #the walking dead imagines #daryl dixon imagines #twd imagine #daryl dixon/reader #twd imagines #daryl dixon fanfic #twd fanfiction #daryl dixon imagine #the walking dead imagine #ly-canthropewrites #fluff #sfw

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vhsrights · 3 years

Text

Just Another Night Of Hanging Out

Pairing: Morcia

Tags: fluff, a bit of pining, a soft spa and movie night in

Summary: Penelope and Morgan are just friends, the bestest of friends, which is why they have spa and movie nights. Hours spent close by each other's side, trying to hold in the love that is nearly bursting from their hearts. After all, it’s not like the other is in love with them...

WC: 3.4 k words

For the lovely @morcias because hayley loves morcia and inspired me to write this cute ass OS :)

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“So are you going to tell him tonight?” JJ smirked and wiggled her eyebrows at Penelope, slowly raising her coffee mug to take a sip.

“Tell who what, sweets?” Penelope twirled the sparkly pen around in her hand, purposefully averting her eyes from her friend and planting them on her computer screen.

“Pen, we’ve been over this. Tell Derek. I mean, it’s obvious that you two were made for each other. Don’t even get me started on how he looks at you or talks about you. What’s taking you so long?” The blonde leaned back against the desk, watching Penelope aimlessly move around files on her desktop.

“Okay, ever since you and Prentiss have gotten together, you have gone all lovey-dovey on me. Derek Morgan is not in love with me. We’re just the best of friends, pals if you want, that have a spa and movie night planned tonight.” JJ rolled her eyes, ignoring her friend’s jab at her new relationship.

“Ew, please never call yourself and Derek ‘pals’. Also, you helped Emily and I get together so you have nothing to say there. Fine, I guess I won’t tell you what Derek told me about you on the jet ride home yesterday. Enjoy moving your files around.” With that, JJ turned to leave the woman’s office, a smirk wide on her face.

“Pump, your brakes. He said something about me? And you weren’t gonna tell me? Jayje, need I remind you that I have the powers of the boundless internet at my fingertips? Park yourself in this seat and spill.” Penelope swiveled around in her chair with enthusiasm, rapt by the information JJ had.

Gesturing to the chair that was against the wall, Garcia’s eyes followed her friend. She could feel the thrum of her heart speed up. Fidgeting with the frilly pen in her hand, she tried to calm her nerves. It would do her no good to be jittery. Derek was her best friend, and she just happened to fall in love with him, that’s all. It was no big deal. Maybe if she told herself that enough, she could believe it. At the moment, just the thought of Morgan alone turned her world. To hell with money or fame or even love, she just needed him. She needed him at her side, in whatever way she could have it.

“Okay, okay, Pen. You know I wouldn’t have kept it from you anyway. Anyways, he was talking to me about a baseball game for the Chicago cubs and I mentioned that you used to go to baseball games as a kid. You should’ve seen his face. His smile stretched like a mile wide and he did that thing with his eyebrows that he does when he thinks about or talks to you.”

Penelope’s nose scrunched and her eyebrows furrowed. Sure she had gone to baseball games as a kid, but it wasn’t often and she never remembered enough about it to have a full conversation about Derek. Why did that thought make him so happy? What eyebrow thing was JJ talking about? In the years that she had spent with him, hours lost examining the sharp angles of his face, she had never seen “the eyebrow thing”. JJ had to be pulling her leg.

Beyond that, imagining the glowing smile on Derek’s face made her giddy. She could almost trace the smile lines that ran deep beside his cheek in her mind. Penelope’s eyes almost closed, piecing together the picture of Morgan’s eyes shining at the thought of her. That was a kind of happiness that she would never be able to describe. It was beyond the butterflies cliche, more that it felt like her life just got 1000 times brighter and she never had to worry ever again.

“Very funny, Jayje. What eyebrow thing? My sweet and I have a close relationship, and I think I would have noticed an “eyebrow thing” if he had one. I know every inch of his angelic face like the back of my hand. He is “the Derek Morgan”, and even if I am a tech goddess, he doesn’t love me like that. I’m his god-given solace, but not the one to complete his heart for the rest of eternity.” Penelope’s voice quivered near the end of her statement. She didn’t let her mind wander too much, hyper-aware of JJ’s presence.

“Oh, look at that, it looks like a data packet is finally ready to upload. Can I get back to my work now?” Garcia quickly diverted the attention from herself at the ping of her computer. JJ didn’t even have time to form a response before she was ushered out.

The click of the door was followed by Garcia slumping back into her chair. The air had left her lungs and the monotone beep of her many monitors was not enough to dull the thoughts in her head. The data packet that she had talked about had been ready to download since before JJ entered her office. Penelope finally started to let it run. She let her wishful thinking set in once more. Images of Derek Morgan’s hand in her own with the words “I love you” on his lips flashed across her thoughts.

It was wishful thinking indeed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Grunts and groans filled the air around Derek Morgan. His eyes were focused on his assailant, determined not to let them get a hit on him. His stance was tight, the balls of his feet light against the ground. Sweat had begun to bead against his eyebrows. Derek’s hands were taut in fists and raised to protect his body. Now, he just had to wait for the right moment to attack.

Everything happened too quickly after that. His eye had caught a sticker on the wall of the BAU gym that was glittery and radiant against the sunlight. Penelope. She was the only one that would do that. The woman was an angel in human form and his focus shifted. He thought of the way that her face lit up around anyone that was talking passionately and the sweet scent of her “candy perfume”. Those distractions were enough to land him flat on his ass.

Emily crouched down beside him and took off her head guard. She had watched the slight tilt in his head and noted a minimal looseness come into his form. Taking advantage of the momentary weakness, and really to test Morgan’s attention, she swung a right hook to his chest. The move was easily blockable and yet her partner had taken it in its full force.

“Morgan, what’s gotten into you?” She said the words quietly, still panting from the intensity of their session. “That hook was square on you and you didn’t even move to block it.”

“I guess my eyes lost focus for a second. Come on, let’s go again. I still haven’t given you your weekly crushing loss.” He beamed and tried to divert the conversation. There was no way he was going to talk about Penelope right now.

Emily laughed weakly and fakely at the joke. She knew exactly what Morgan was trying to pull. Emily had done it many times herself on the topic of JJ before they had gotten together. She recognized that same lovesick look in his eyes. Still wanting to clear up the reason for his loss of focus, Emily asked him again.

“Don’t avoid my question, Derek. Is it Pen? I can see that look in your eyes, like the one you used to make fun of me for before I started dating JJ. You have to tell her, man.”

“No, it wasn’t her. Even if it did happen to be her, Penelope is my best friend and nothing more.”

Lie. Derek Morgan was lying through his teeth.

Penelope Garcia was more to him than words could describe. She was more to him than actions could show. She was more to him than consciousness could perceive. Penelope was his life force. She was the one thing that made waking up in the morning not seem like a chore. She was a light that could alone guide him out of the darkest corners of the Earth, with a heart that felt like the warm safe haven of his childhood home. If he had her and nothing else, Derek Morgan’s world would continue to spin as it did. He just needed her at his side, in whatever way he could have it.

“Liar. You called her Penelope, and you only do that when you start daydreaming about her. Wait! Today is your date with her, isn’t it? I think JJ told me something about a movie and dinner? Ooooh.”

Emily’s words were punctuated by a sigh from Derek. He rolled his eyes in hopes of not revealing how truly excited he was. His heart was beating faster in his chest and that had nothing to do with the rigorous workout that he had just finished with Emily. He knew that Penelope had lined up an array of skincare as part of their special activity for the night. Knowing that she would be so close to his face, Derek would have to resist his urge to kiss her.

“Oh, shut up. It’s not a date. Me and my baby girl are just hanging out, like best friends are supposed to. Just because you and JJ happened to be more than best friends, doesn’t mean that Garcia and I are. She doesn’t like me like that. Garcia is sunlight as a person, or rather an All-Knowing Goddess, so you really think she would date me? I don’t think so.”

Morgan walked into the locker room before Emily could answer. Yet he still heard a faint “Stop lying to yourself” through the thick door. Derek smiled to himself and grabbed his bag from the corner of the locker room. He changed his shoes and threw one a light jacket. It was barely enough to stop him from shivering under the cold sweat, he would remove it immediately in his car. He got to see Penelope in almost 2 hours, he realized as he checked his watch.

There went his heart again, beating faster and faster. It was almost as if he was in love with her.

Shaking the thoughts from his head, he shut the door and exited the locker room. Derek kept his head down as Emily reappeared by his side. The least he could do was try to hide his deep infatuation further.

“I know that you won’t look at me because you’re blushing, or whatever your version of blushing is. Listen, I’m telling you to go for it. Pen looks at you like you’re offering her the universe in your hands to her whenever you two speak. You, Loverboy, have a thing for Miss Penelope Garcia, and she has one for you. You’re practically already married.”

“You’re just pulling my leg. We’re friends. Do I need to spell it out for you? Garcia and I aren’t going to be more than friends, because she doesn’t like me like that.”

“Oh, of course she doesn’t, and I’m straight.” Derek huffed as the two exited the BAU gym into the building’s open lobby.

Just by “fluke”, JJ and Penelope were walking down the opposite hallway towards them. It’s not like Emily had texted JJ to coordinate their arrivals into the lobby. That would be absurd.

Penelope’s eyes widened when she noticed Derek beside Emily. He was sweaty and tired from his workout, and yet Penelope couldn’t think of a time where he had looked better. She staggered her words in her side conversation with JJ, attempting to not sound overly flustered. JJ eventually spotted the two and waved them over, smiling brightly at her girlfriend. Morgan noticed the pink tinge in Garcia’s cheeks and simply decided that they were because of her lair’s frigidity.

JJ walked over to Emily and pulled her in for a chaste kiss, leaving Penelope and Morgan standing at odds with each other. Both had piling nerves for the night ahead of them, but those subsided quickly when they respectively remembered that it was no different to any other night spent between the two of them. It was just another night of hanging out.

Derek’s smile grew and he took the final step towards Penelope. He wraps his arms around her, just as he has and will do a thousand times. She fits perfectly in his hug. Penelope leans her head into Derek’s chest. She could feel his erratic heartbeat and chalked it up to his workout. He was still sweaty but Garcia didn’t mind. Rain or shine, sweaty or not, Derek’s arms were her home.

JJ and Emily faked a little disgust, letting out animated sounds to indicate the pair’s sappiness. Penelope chuckled and pulled back away from Derek just a little bit, their hug still mostly intact. She made the mistake of looking into his eyes, and him looking into hers. They got lost in them, too rapt with imagining their futures together. Neither Morgan nor Penelope had any sense of time as they reveled in the beauty of the other’s eyes. They finally pulled apart when JJ cleared her throat, smirking at Penelope’s flushed face.

“So, Baby girl, I’ll see you at 6:45? In like an hour and a half? How does that sound?” Derek shifted his eyes to the floor, diligently readjusting the strap of his workout bag against his shoulder.

“Perfect.” Penelope smiled at him, enough to melt his heart and make his brain foggy.

They departed after a quick cheek kiss, ignoring how it made them feel.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Penelope zipped around her apartment, a thousand things running through her head. She had her arms full of serums and other various products that she had forgotten to add to her cart. Garcia had decided to go sans makeup for this hangout and was ready to make Derek glow just like her.

She glanced over to the DVD player that sat in the corner of the room. It was properly hooked up and ready to go, her small collection of movies for the night beside it. After that, her eyes swiveled around her to check for anything else that was missing. Satisfied with her preparation, Penelope checked her watch.

6:44 PM. Derek should be here any second.

RINGGGG

The sound of the doorbell sent Penelope a few inches off the ground, a yelp escaping her lips. She made a dash for the door. Opening it only seconds after the bell, Penelope took in Derek on the other side of the doorway. He was wearing a white muscle tee and wearing the pajama pants that she had bought him a month ago. It had been their little secret after Penelope saw the pants that reminded her of Morgan, not being able to resist the urge to buy them.

“Hey, how’s my favorite girl in the world?” Derek held up their takeout and his movie selections for the night.

“Brilliant, as always. Come on in. Let’s get started!” Penelope wasted no time in dragging the man in.

“Well, you are glowing. I’m super excited.” Derek spied the cart on the side, eyes widening at the true extent of Penelope’s effort.

“Aww, you’re sweet. You’ll look like this too when I’m done with you! Your dry skin will be no more. Seriously though, you should moisturize it more.” Penelope’s words were fast enough for him to barely catch them but he simply watched her face instead.

She eagerly set the dinner to the side, ushering him to go and wash his face. Returning soon, they decided to get dinner out of the way before getting to the skincare and movies. Nearly 45 minutes later, Derek sat back in the chair that Garcia had gestured him to. The woman sat on her stool, pulling up her cart with various products for Derek’s routine.

“Okay, so like I said before, you have dry skin. Upbupbup, I know that you moisturize it, but baby the dryness shows. So, I have some special goodies here for you today. They’re gonna fix everything right up!” Morgan didn’t catch much of Penelope’s speech, too wrapped up in the way that her eyes glimmered under the incandescent lighting.

“I have this moisturizing serum here that is perfect for you, but first we’re doing sheet masks! I went to the store and I got the 24-carat gold one because they are the most perfect for us. So lay your head back, and let me roll this on you.”

Derek silently obeyed, letting the refreshing and cooling material rest softly against his face. He truly didn’t realize when the time had passed, because Penelope was taking it off 5 seconds later. From there, Penelope went on a long, detailed routine and product explanation that Derek barely understood a word of. He tried to explain that he did wash his face semi-regularly, but it didn’t hold up against Penelope’s regimented plan.

His face felt smooth and well taken care of when Penelope finally tapped him on the shoulder. Derek sat up slowly, letting his eyes droop open and find her. Her eyes were shining and her cheeks were flushed. One thing was for sure, Morgan liked the feeling of Penelope’s soft fingers brushing against his face to apply products.

They put away everything and sat down for the movie. It was a cheesy romantic comedy, just like the kind that Penelope watched when she wanted to clear her mind. The oblivious characters on screen were quite the spot-on comparison for Derek and Penelope. Their antics brought the two many laughs, while still melting their hearts with sappiness. Derek felt relaxed, more than his mind and soul, his heart was relaxed. Having Penelope so close as they enjoyed the movie was a perfect picture of domesticity. Morgan wanted it forever.

“I wish that we could do this together forever. You’re just so perfect for me.” Derek’s eyes stayed on the screen, not realizing he had said anything aloud.

Penelope, on the other hand, almost freaked out. All of her internal alarms went off, terrified that this was a prank. Was Derek serious? He couldn’t be. Penelope couldn’t let the information nag at her. She burst out her question moments later.

“Do you mean it? Do you want forever with me?” The words snapped Derek out of his trance.

He looked down at the woman and realized what had happened. There was no way to get out of this but through. Here goes nothing. He took a deep breath and prepared himself. This wasn’t something that he could mess up. Penelope was his everything, and she needed to know that.

“Yes, I do. Penelope Garcia, you are my saving grace. Every second I spend with you makes my heart palpitate and my thoughts go crazy. But at the same time, you are the only one that can get through to me when I want to shut the world out. You are my voice of reason. You are the reason I get up in the mornings. You are the one that I see beside me when I picture my life as a romcom. You are my god-given solace. I want forever with you, beautiful, and ever after, if that it’s okay with you.”

Derek had held his breath through the entire speech. It was something that he had rehearsed and imagined and dreamed of for years. However, the words that had come out of his mouth were not the ones that he had planned. Yet, it still felt right. He waited for Penelope’s answer, too scared to look at her again. The silence was momentary and unbearable.

“I want forever with you too. Derek Morgan you are it for me. I saw you all those years ago, and even then, I knew that you would someday mean everything to me. It’s you that got me through countless cases. It’s the thought of you that helps me sleep and wake up each morning. It’s you that helps me shine that much brighter on the world each day.”

The weight of the world had been lifted off of their shoulders. Happy tears flowed from each of their eyes. Penelope could think of nothing but to bring her hand up to Derek’s chin, gently tilting it down to press a gentle kiss against his lips.

That night turned out not to be just another night hanging out. Penelope and Morgan had found their soulmates, or rather, in the words of a wise Derek Morgan “god-given solace”.

#morcia #writing #userluthor #fluff #a soft movie and spa night #derek morgan #penelope garcia #they're just so cute #i love them so much #mc content hours

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echodrops · 3 years

Note

I’m obviously late to the tumble party... but I stumbled across your Notagami Essays posts and they are absolutely Fabulous! Love your writing and the amount of detail you go into :)

So I figured you may be a good person to ask - if you just had to guess (bc as far as I know it’s never been officially confirmed?) but if you had to take a guess or give a rough estimate, how old do you think Yato was when he first met Sakura? We know he’s estimated to be at least a thousand years old, we know he’s - from the start of the series to present - estimated to be somewhere between 18 and his early 20s (physically)... but I can’t find a single thing/discussion/post/stickynote/whatever where it talks about how old he might have been when he first met Sakura - let alone the emotional/psychological effects of Sakura coming into his life and introducing healthy mindset/morals/maternal-influence etc. etc. (obviously no mom and Father’s neglect played a big role in him not knowing how inappropriate it was for him to ‘accidentally touch’ and yell “boobs!” but you can also just say he was so young he didn’t know how inappropriate that was?) My point is: how old do you think Yato was (physically anyway) at the time of their meeting? and Do you know of any discussions or care to share your opinion on how being the no more than the age of blank affected his mental/emotional understanding of Sakura teaching him a new narrative?

Sorry this is a random out of the blue ask 😅😓 if I rambled on and you don’t feel like answering, I get it, just figured it was worth asking :)

I fell down a serious rabbit hole trying to see if I could figure out the answer to this question about Yato’s age but unfortunately I’m mostly coming up empty-handed.

The answer to this question actually depends on two different pieces of information which--as far as I can remember--we’ve never actually been given for certain.

1) We would need to know when Yato was actually born.

The manga has kind of hinted at a total (not physical) age for Yato in the flashbacks which showed him as a young child during the Heian era (putting him somewhere in the vicinity of a little over 1000 years old) and Father not making masks before ~1100 years ago, but the problem is we still don’t know how many years might have passed between this scene (the youngest we’ve ever seen Yato):

And the next flashback scene, where Yato meets Nora:

If gods age normally when they are children, these two scenes might be only a handful of years apart. But if gods don’t age normally, then these two scenes could be decades or centuries apart, which leads to the other missing piece of information (under the read more to save people’s dashes):

2) We would need to know the aging process for gods who are just born/reincarnate.

Up to this point in the manga, we’ve only seen two gods reincarnate--Ebisu (who reincarnated too recently to really help answer this question) and Takemikazuchi. The implication of Takemikazuchi’s backstory is that his shinki forced him to reincarnate and then hid his reincarnation from all of Heaven. The only way they could have kept other gods from noticing that Takemikazuchi had reincarnated would have been by not allowing him to go out at all until he had grown enough to match his previous reincarnation in appearance. This seems to suggest that gods probably do age normally when they are children--hiding Takemikazuchi away for ~20 years seems a lot more likely than being able to hide him away for centuries, after all... (I also feel like I have very vague recollection of some scene in the manga where someone comments on Takemikazuchi not having been around for a “few years,” but it’s been so long since I reread I can’t recall if this is a real moment from the manga or just me misremembering.)

Overall, however, based on what we’ve seen in the manga, my guess would be that when they’re young, after just being born or being reincarnated, gods age pretty normally. This would suggest that, for the first few years at least, the physical and mental ages of reincarnated/newly born gods actually overlap; baby Ebisu acts like a little kid because he is, in fact, both mentally and physically a little kid.

That would mean that, for all intents and purposes, Yato’s physical and mental ages lined up when he was young and meeting Sakura, and he acted like a little kid because he really was just a little kid, god or not.

(Detour for a second though:

This line always struck me as interesting in that it might, just might, give us a more specific timeframe for Yato’s “birth”: although the constellations, of course, are visible in the sky every single year, this particular combination of concepts (kanoto-tori, yin metal rooster) is known much more commonly as one of the sixty years on the cyclical Chinese calendar, also used in Japan. Counting back on the calendar, 961 A.D. was a yin metal rooster year and would align just about right for what we know about the timeframe in which Yato later met Sakura (~970ish). Just referencing constellations doesn’t mean Adachitoka was pointing to a specific year, but it might have been another hint as to the timeframe of the flashbacks.

Okay, detour over.)

Anyway, without 100% confirmation on either of those pieces of information--when Yato was born and whether gods age at the same rate as humans after reincarnating--I don’t think it’s really possible to pin down Yato’s “real” age (physically or mentally) at the time he met Sakura. We mostly just have to estimate.

Personally, based on his size and behavior at the time, I’d put him somewhere between seven and maybe up to ten, but the way Adachitoka draws characters kind of makes it impossible to judge their ages by appearance; Yato is about the same size as Nora when he meets Sakura, implying that he and Nora were around the same physical “age” at that time; meanwhile, Nora is later portrayed as being roughly the same age as Yukine, suggesting she was maybe 12-13ish years old when she died. So, despite being drawn tiny, it’s possible Yato was meant to be anywhere from a little kiddo (6-7) to all the way up to Nora’s age by the time he met Sakura.

But all that said, I think what you were really asking about was more the mental state Yato would have been in when he met Sakura and how his young age would have impacted his ability to change his world views, right? The answer to that is... complicated and could be approached a lot of ways. Coming from a background of working with and educating social work students, there are several common psychological theories of child development that might apply here, for example.

I’d recommend checking out Erik Erikson’s psychosocial stages of development, though.

(Pulled from here.)

I don’t have time to explain the entire theory with the complexity it might deserve, but the basic idea is that, as children develop, they experience a series of crises or challenges that they must overcome. Successfully overcoming each challenge results in successful psychological and social development; failing to overcome a challenge in childhood will result in long-term negative impacts later in the child’s life. (There are plenty critiques of this theory too, so don’t take this as gospel or anything--just a theory worth thinking about!)

Given Father’s lack of interest in teaching Yato basic concepts of humanity, I would put Yato at approximately the “Initiative vs. Guilt” stage when he met Sakura. At this level of Erikson’s theory, children struggle with asserting themselves and developing a healthy sense of how their personal desires might conflict with the expectations and rules set out by others. In this stage, giving a child positive feedback for their actions teaches the child that those actions are “right,” while giving negative feedback teaching the child that their actions are wrong. In order to overcome this particular challenge, children need to begin taking initiative and aligning their actions with social standards; the child acts, and the parental figure reacts--through this process, children learn “I can do X thing but I cannot do Y thing.”

When you hear things like “Children are cruel,” most often what people are referring to is that it takes time for children to learn empathy and to experience guilt when they cause harm to others; children do not natively understand the repercussions of their actions. It’s only through a process of testing the boundaries, of receiving praise or punishment, that children define what is “right” versus “wrong,” and begin to feel bad when they do something deemed wrong.

And this is pretty much word-for-word what we see Sakura teaching Yato.

If they have healthy role models and caretakers during this phase, children develop successfully. Successful children in this phase get their first taste of personal responsibility; unsuccessful children are (supposedly) plagued for years afterward by a sense of guilt and shame when their actions produce disapproval from everyone around them.

Yato... doesn’t exactly make it through this development stage unscathed, because he receives conflicting definitions of right and wrong from his Father an Sakura:

Which ultimately results in, years later, the Yato we know and love who still does his Father’s bidding to kill humans even though it fills him with a horrific sense of guilt:

Through his time with Sakura, I think it could also be argued that Yato moves into the next stage of Erikson’s theory as well, getting into the “Industry versus Inferiority” crises.

Meeting Sakura brings out Yato’s true, deep down desire as a god: to help people. (I think it’s important to note that this isn’t something Sakura teaches him--it’s a quality Yato already possessed; it was explicitly Yato’s desire to please people that led to him murdering in his father’s name.)

Once he learns what makes people happy, Yato immediately pursues that with intense focus:

The primary goal of this phase of psychosocial development is to experience a sense of confidence in one’s actions. When children practice their skills, pursue areas where they are praised, and gain new skills and aptitudes through mentoring from healthy role models, they gain confidence in their ability to excel, to fit in with peers their age, and to create meaningful things. By encouraging Yato to pursue positive behaviors--playing peacefully with other children, appreciating natural beauty, and creating useful things like boots for the needy--Sakura moved Yato toward successfully completing this phase and developing a sense of confidence in his actions and his ability to achieve positive things in the world.

Of course, Father cannot have that (because confident children with a sense of self-worth are much more difficult to abuse), so he puts an immediate end to Sakura’s influence over Yato in the most insidious way possible: although he clearly manipulated the situation to achieve Sakura’s death, out loud, he blames Yato, implying that Sakura’s death was all Yato’s fault, the results of Yato taking unwanted action “industry” and yet failing--creating a sense of “inferiority” instead.

This, of course, haunts Yato all the way to the present, as he--again and again and again--blames himself for things outside his control or failing to live up to expectations that no one in his situation (still being manipulated) could possibly hope to get “right.”

Finally, you could say that Sakura’s presence is Yato’s life is ultimately what sows the seeds of the manga’s main plot up to this point, with Yato’s quest to create an entirely new identity for himself as a god of fortune instead of a god of calamity. Personally, I would say that Yato is currently still in this phase of development, still working out how to define himself and who he will ultimately become once he is finally free to decide on his own path in life. It was Sakura’s gentle influence--his desire to become the kind of god who could make her smile--that eventually sparked his conflict and finally led Yato to the brink of catastrophe. If he wishes to become the god Sakura told him he could be, he can no longer suffer his father to live.

So, long story longer, I think it can be argued that Yato meeting Sakura at such a young age is EXACTLY what made it possible for him to change, and exactly what has led to his crisis in identifying himself and redefining his sense of right and wrong.

Uhhhh... I hope that answers your question!

#noragami #noragami meta #noragami spoilers #noragami manga #psychosocial development #Yato #Sakura #Father (Noragami)#speculation

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