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#I feel like I’m drowning and all I wanna do is sleep but I have no more PTO so
chrispeycream33 · 14 hours
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Best friend!Matt x best friend!reader
Warnings: smut ,kissing, making out, touchy!Matt, public kissing, getting caught, orgasm denial unprotected sex, p in v best friends to lovers
Summery: the triplets and a couple friends go on a camping trip and well having a fire you and Matt get left alone (horny and alone) 🥴
Blue=Matt
Pink=y/n
Orange=Chris
Purple=Nick
Red=Nate
Green=Madi
Not proofread
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You were packing for a camping trip you and the triplets and a couple friends were going to
“Hey, you almost done packing were gonna go soon”you hear a familiar voice behind you
“Yeah, I just need to grab my toothbrush and stuff”you say going to the bathroom that’s attached to nick bedroom to grab your skincare and toothbrush
“Alright perfect, we will be in the car”Matt says giving a slight smile before walking out
You grab your toiletries and stuffed them in your bag, and sprint downstairs, to go to the car
Matt’s driving it’s only like a hour long drive there, chris was in the front
Madi and nick in the way back back, Nate and i in the center me behind matt and nate behind chris
“Y/n what song do you want to listen to?”chris says looking down at his phone
“Can we listen to drowning?”i say looking towards Chris, “by who?” Chris says with a confused look
“A boogie wid a hoodie”
“Oh yeah I know that one” Nate Chris and Matt all say in unison
“Okay, perfect” i say under a fit of laughter from all of them saying it at the same time
“Ay, after this we should listen to Low by SZA”nick yells from the back
“YESSSSS” madi says says earning her and nick to laugh
“WRIST SO ICEY WONDER WHY SHE LIKE ME BITCH IM DROWNING”I sang with the song
Time skip
We get to the campsite to our cabin we all walk in and tag bedrooms
“Im sharing with Madi” nick yells as him and Madi run upstairs
“I’ll share with Nate” Chris yells running in the cabin
Me and Matt just stair at each other in a slight smile at how crazy everyone was acting
“Guess that means we’re sharing a bedroom” Matt say walking towards me “i Guess so” I say with a small smile
“Wanna go see the room?” Matt says nodding his head towards the stairs, i nod and we start walking upstairs
Matt opens the door and is met with one bed in the center, he stairs at you and you look at him then stair back at the bed
“I’ll sleep on the couch” Matt says nudging me with his shoulder and has a slight smile
“No don’t be ridiculous we can share it’s two nights” i say shrugging and walking in the room fully Matt following not to far behind
“Yeah, maybe it won’t be too bad” Matt says grabbing your waist and nuzzling his face in your neck from behind
“Matt stoop” i say pushing him by his shoulder laughing,i place my bag down on the bed and start unpack and putting things away
“Hey you guys wanna have a fire?”you hear Chrises voice from behind you
“Oh yeah that sounds fun, imma change quick, I’ll meet you out there” i say smiling and Chris walks away
“Matt I’m gonna change” i say in a sarcastic obvious voice
“I know” Matt says laying on the bed “I won’t look”
“Okay, you promise” I say looking back at him a with a questionable scoul
“I promise”Matt says with a sly smile on his face
Matt’s POV:
Of course I’m gonna look how could you not, sure she’s my best friend but I also have had a crush on her since middle school
Y/n turns around and I pretend not to look, her back is facing me and I see her take her shirt of revealing the back of her black Lacey bra
She throws on a cropped tank top and then turns around to look in her bag, my head immediately goes down to look at my phone
End of Matt’s POV:
I turn around to look for something in my bag, I swear I caught Matt staring, not that I care, I’ve had a crush on him since middle school i just don’t know he feels the same
“Ugh I forgot a hoodie do you have one I could borrow?”i say looking through my bag
“Here I might have one” Matt says standing off the bed and going towards his bag that lays next to the nightstand
He pulls out a fresh love hoodie and throws it towards me “ thank you so much”I say catching the hoodie
“No problem,sweetheart” you melt at the nick name Matt was always kinda flirty towards you but that’s how he was I’m with everyone
You throw the hoodie on and walk downstairs Matt following behind you, you see everyone outside around a fire
You walk outside and sit down “AYY, took you guys long enough” chris says as he roasting a marshmallow
“ yeh what we’re you all doin’?” Nate say with a mischievous smile
“ I had to change into something more comfortable”i say truthfully
“What about Matt what was he doing?”madi says holding in giggles, Madi knew I had a crush on Matt but would never tell a soul
“He was-“ “I was using the bathroom”he says before I finish my sentence
“Mhmm” nick says suspicious
“I don’t believe it for a second”Nate says his Boston accent heavy on the Dont
“ it’s true he was” i say trying to cover up for the lie I wasn’t sure why he lied, we’ve changed in the same room before
Time skip
Everyone was talking and laughing around the fire until everyone was tired “me and Madi are gonna go to bed now night everyone” nick say as him and madi go into the cabin
“Yeh I’m pretty tired too imma go to sleep” “ yeh i’m gonna go too”
“Good night” you and Matt say in unison, we’re staying out a little longer, we’re both sitting on a log that’s in front of the fire, im holding Matt’s arm for warmth
You move closer to Matt and rest you head in his shoulder, he kisses yhe too if you head, sure Matt’s flirted but never kissed the top of my head before!
I lift my head to look at him, he looks down and at me and kisses my forehead
“Matt-“ i say in a low voice and a light blush that you pray he can’t see from the dark outside
“Yes?” He says as he kisses down to my cheek and to my neck, I move my head so he has better access to my neck
“Kiss me” I say and he waste no time crashing his lips to mine, it was gentle at first very slow and romantic, but it quick got sloppy Matt grabs my leg and rest it on his
He slips his tongue into my mouth and our tongues fight for dominance, Matt obviously winning
He grabs my neck and rest his thumb under my chin as we mouth taste each other mouth and explore deeper until Matt pulls away
“Wanna go inside?” He says smirking, i nod and we both head inside and sprint upstairs giggling
We go into the room and he pushes me on the bed and straddles me as he makes out with me again I feel his boner on my core and i moan at the feeling
“Mm you sound so pretty making those noises”he says pulling away for second and going down to my neck
He slips his hand up my shirt and plays with my boob through my bra, i wrap my legs around his slutty waist, and start to grind on him, looking for any sorta friction I can get
He takes the hint and start grinding down in my core even harder, we both moan and grunt at the feeling, heavy breathing coming from our mouths
“Oh Matt, I need more” he starts inbuttoning his pants when-
“Hey you guys-“ “oh shit,sorry uhm I-“ Chris stutters, his eyes wide
“Get out” Matt says throwing something at him
“Sorry I’ll get out now” Chris say embarrassed and leaves and shuts the door
You can hear Nate and him giggling through the door, “anyway, do want to keep going or are you turned of now?” Matt says looking down at her
“I want to keep going” y/n says as she grabs his neck and pulls him down he waste no time kissing her back they start grinding agian and Matt goes back to unbuttoning his pants
He gets up on his knees and pulls down his pants, his boner visible in his boxers, he leans down again his arm right above your head as he pulls down his pants the rest of the way
You start palming him through this boxers and he grunts at the feeling “so impatient” he say as he kisses your neck some more
He pulls away and starts playing the bottom of your shirt asking to take it off,you nod impatiently and he take off you shirts and throws it somewhere in the room
“Hey you should lock the door”
“Okay yeah good idea”he gets il and in his way to the door he takes off his shirt and drops it on the floor he locks the door and walks back, your eyes fixated on his boner
Gets back on top of you and kisses you some more before play with your sweatpants, he rips them off and you whimper at the loss of clothes
He kisses your neck and goes down to your chest then all over your stomach, he kisses your lower stomach before coming back up Leaving another trail of kisses
“Matt please I need you please” you beg and he slides his hand down your underwear and starts rubbing your clit while making out with you
“Oh my god-“ you say in a moan and Matt smirks down at you, his fingers go lower down your pussy and make way to your entrance
He sticks his middle finger in you stretching you out a little, you moan at the feeling, Matt slips and second finger in you and starts scissoring you
“Okay you ready for my dick?” He asks and you nod frantically, he grabs you hips and flips you over so you in all fours in front of him
He starts kissing your ass cheeks and needing them with his hands, he pulled down his boxers and moved your panties to side and tease your entrance with his dick
“Matt please” you moan out in need of his dick “so impatient” he says slamming his cock into you, you moan at the feeling
“Shhhhhh, we don’t want the others to here us do we now”you shake your head no and put your face in the pillow your back arching perfectly, matt starts thrusting into you kissing you g spot every time
Your moans muffled by the pillow, Matt bends over and kisses your back leaving a trail going down to your ass
You hear him grunting very time he thrusts which makes you almost finish right there
You start clenching around him as you are almost about to cum
“You gonna cum?” Matt says in a low voice, you just nod in response thinking that’s enough but for Matt it wasn’t
He grabs you hair and pulls your head up from the pillow
“Use your pretty words princess”
You struggle to usher the words out through moans as he thrust in you
“ i- ye- yes I- I’m gonna cum”
“Hold it” Matt’s says in a deep voice
“ wh- what?” You say on the verge of tears “ i said hold it” he pulls out and flips you over so your on your back and spreads your legs, he slams into you, he starts thrusting at an ungodly pace
He lifts you leg over his shoulder so he’s at a better angle, then we angle makes him hit all the right places, he leans down and kisses you
You can barely kiss back from how fucked out you are he pulls away and drops your leg, he looks down at your stomach and sees how deep he is
He places his hand on my lower stomach and presses down on it feeling how deep his dick is inside of you
You moan loud at the feeling, which is immediately muffled by Matt kissing me again his tongue entering my mouth as I try to kiss back
“ oh Matt I’m I- I’m coming”
“Yeah me too, finish in my cock” he says still thrusting,
“Oh oh oh my g-god” Matt says finishing after me he pulls out and kisses me
“Your on the pill right?”matt asks
“Yes I’m I- am-“i say panting and trying to calm down
“Good”Matt says as he gets up to grab his t shirt he uses it to clean around my pussy that has his seed coming out of it
He wipes his cock and and grabs his boxers and puts them on and grabs his sweater that I was wearing and puts it on me
“You alright?” He asks as he sees me still fucked out
“Yeh I’m great, that was amazing Matt”I say sitting up a bit
“Hey y/n?”matt says in a sweet voice
“Yeah?”
“I really like you a lot, like a lot I’ve liked you since like middle school”
“Really Matt?”I say sweetly
“ I like you too”i say grabbing his chin and kissing him softly
We both pull away from the kiss and lay down, “wanna go out sometime,like on a date?”
“Yes Matt I would love too”
We both lay under the comforter and cuddle until we fell asleep
The end
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53 notes · View notes
futureghost97 · 5 months
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>:( see tags
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whoslai · 9 months
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seventy two hours - l. heeseung 📓🧑🏻‍🎓
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• ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗
↣ lee heeseung x fem!reader (both are 18)
↣ it’s the summer after high school; heeseung has been in love with his childhood friend, y/n. despite his efforts to make her see how he feels, she remains oblivious. with only three days left before they both go off to college, he must find a way to win her heart before it's too late. will he succeed, or will he have to let go of his love and move on?
↣ warnings: MDNI! making out, cunnilingus, fingering, jerking off, voyeurism, unprotected sex, overstimulation, love confessions, creampie, explicit sex, teasing, dirty talk, body marking, & more.
↣ genre: fluff, angst, smut, slice of life au
↣ wc: 4.1k
• ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗
“lee heeseung,” you called, poking your head out of your window to look down at the sweaty boy who just so happened to live next door to you. he’d been bouncing a basketball in his driveway all night and it was driving you nuts!
to your incredulity, heeseung cocked his head to look up at you, smiling from ear to ear as he saw you. “y/n.” he sighed, holding his basketball to his chest. “have you been standing there the whole time?”
“no! unlike you, i’m trying to get some sleep. it’s 2 in the morning and you’ve been bouncing that ball since 7.” you whined, leaning against the window seal as you rubbed your sleepy eyes.
“oh? so you’re keeping track of how long i’ve been out here..?” he smugly remarked, dropping the ball into his yard as he wiped sweat from his forehead. “do i interest you that much, y/n?”
“heeseung.” you glared at him, “please let me sleep.”
he smiled, “you should come out here with me. i can show you how to shoot a 3 pointer.”
shaking your head, you closed your window. you huffed as you laid back in your bed, tiredly sighing as you heard him pick his ball up and bounce it against the pavement again. another day, another night spent trying to drown out heeseung.
• ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗
your next few days were spent dorm shopping with your mother; you’d been accepted into northwestern university to study journalism on a full scholarship. you truly were excited to start a new chapter of your life and explore yourself and the environment around you.
you’d be even happier if you didn’t have a little baby whining in your ear every day about the fact that you were moving across the country. of course, living next to heeseung meant you two were very close, almost too close. it got to the point of him being immensely comfortable with complaining about how it was “odd” if you to look forward to moving away from everyone you’ve ever known.
while yes, moving from a small town in virginia to a larger city in illinois would take some time getting used to, but that didn’t mean it would justify you being fearful. what was there to be afraid of? people move all the time, it wasn’t as though you’d be the first person to leave family for college. heeseung was just being dramatic, per usual.
“you really should just stay here, i don’t see why you can’t just go to school online.” heeseung shrugged, holding his knees to his chest as he sat on your bed, watching you take down the polaroids of you and friends from your walk to pack away for your dorm.
you smiled, shaking your head at him. “heeseung, you’re acting like i’m not going to come back on breaks. it’s not my fault you chose to stay here for college.”
“you’re right, i DID choose to stay here. wanna know why?” he asked.
you propped your hand on your hip and raised your eyebrow at him. “i know you want to tell me, so just go ahead and say it.”
“because…” he trailed off, anxiously biting his lip as he began again. “because everything i’ll ever need is here, virginia is my home; our home. why would you leave all this behind when everything you need is right here?”
you shrugged, “i don’t see what’s here in virginia that i can’t find in illinois. my parents plan to travel while i’m gone so there’s not much keeping me here.”
heeseung pouted. “ouch.”
“aw.” you laughed, “you know im going to miss you when i leave. how could i forget you and that stupid basketball you keep me awake with…”
heeseung smiled a bit, but you could tell there was some sadness behind it. “maybe we could play together?”
“hmmm…” you hummed. “we could, but i’d rather do something else. why don’t we do like a sleepover and binge on a bunch of movies? pull an all nighter or something.”
“a sleepover?” heeseung asked, sitting up and licking his lips. “as in…like me sleeping over here or…you sleeping at my house?”
“either. it doesn’t matter to me.” you smiled, grabbing some tape to close the box of pictures and placed it to the side. “but, you and i both know how strict my mom is about you being over. she would make you sleep on the couch downstairs.”
he slowly nodded, “true…”
“so we should probably just go to your place, yeah?” you asked him, glancing back at him. “i’m assuming you want me in the same bed as you, so we’re better off just doing it over at yours.”
he scoffed, “what?! who says i want you to sleep in my bed?”
“me.” you smiled, tossing the box off to the side. “like helloooo, look at me. who wouldn’t want me to sleep in their bed?”
heeseung married his eyes at you. “you are so…”
“i’m kidding~” you laughed, taking a seat at your desk. “i’d only get in your bed anyway.”
“wait really?” heeseung asked you, his ears perking up. “why only mine?”
“because you’re my bestie. now, go clean your room. i’ll be over in a few hours.” you told him, spinning around to organize the papers on your desk.
he laughed a bit before kicking the back of your seat as he made his way out.
• ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗
a few hours after heeseung had left, you’d found yourself drying your hair after taking a quick shower. you slipped on some shorts and a tee whilst grabbing your bag full of sleepover essentials.
making your way over to his house, you caught sight of his bedroom light being on and reflecting a shadow; a figure all too similar to his own. squinting your eyes up at him, you began to make sense of what you were seeing.
he stood near the window, head lowered while his arm appeared to repeatedly move in a swift motion….was he jerking off?
your heart skipped a beat when his head fell back and you looked down at the ground, contemplating whether or not you could simply walk in and face him after watching his shadow through his bedroom window.
biting your lip, you slowly turned to walk back to your house, his front door opened.
“y/n!!” his mothers voice rang in your ears from behind. you quickly turned back, being met by his mother waving for you to come. “i saw you standing out here! come on in, heeseung told me you were sleeping over…?”
you nodded, walking over to her. “um yeah! that’s um…that’s the plan.”
she closed the door behind you as you stepped in and slipped your shoes off. “well, that’s cute. i’m happy to see you two spend more and more time together, especially with you leaving in a few days.” she sighed, clasping her hands together. “i’ve always adored your friendship.”
“ahhh..” you smiled, nodding your head. “yeah, just a few more days.”
she frowned, “we’re all going to miss you very much!”
“i’ll come back and visit!” you exclaimed. she smiled, patting your shoulder as she signaled for the stairs.
“heeseung is up in his room. i’m not quite sure what he’s doing but he’s expecting you so just feel free to knock. i’ve got food in the kitchen and his father is down in the basement. if you guys need anything, just let me know. okay?”
“yes ma’am, and thank you!” you nodded at her, hurrying up the stairs.
as you stood in front of his closed bedroom door, you inhaled a deep breath, nervous to step in.
after standing there for a while, you brought your hand up to the door and knocked. “hey, heeseung. it’s me.”
you waited a while, hearing him reply, “kay, one sec…”
you rested your back against the wall opposite of his door, placing your hand over your chest as your heart rate began to increase. you wondered if you truly saw what you thought you saw outside or if you were just reading the situation wrong. you wondered if he was done shooting his hot load onto the nearest surface. you wondered if his cock was still twitching in his hand as he helped himself ride out his high by teasing his tip or even continuing to stroke his shaft.
“hey,” he said as he greeted you. his hair was damp and his shirt hung low off his collar bone, exposing some of his chest.
“took you long enough.” you scoffed, brushing past him as you attempted to play it cool, not wanting him to suspect anything.
he closed the door behind you and you sat on his bed, tossing your bag on the ground as you laid back and took your phone out.
“i didn’t prepare anything.” he said, “i’ve been laying in bed since i left your house.”
you looked at him as he sat beside you, awkwardly bringing his knees to his chest. “are you sure about that?”
“sure about what? laying in bed…?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
you nodded, “surely you haven’t been in bed for the past 5 hours.”
“i mean, for the most part.” he shrugged. “what does it matter?”
“it doesn’t…i was just being nosey.” you said, looking away from him and sighing. “it’s hot in here.”
“it’s like 70 degrees…” he trailed off.
you sat up quickly, facing him. “we should play a game, you down?”
“yeah.” he said, “go for it.”
you smiled, “truth or dare?”
he rolled his eyes and leaned back against his wall. “truth.”
“is it true that you’re going to be a big cry baby and have a tantrum on my last day here?” you teased, pushing him.
“bold of you to assume i’m even going to your send off.” he scoffed.
your smile fell, “wait, you aren’t coming?”
“if i go, i’ll miss you too much while you’re gone.” he pouted.
you smiled again, “awwww…stop flirting with me.”
he shrugged, “truth or dare?”
“dare, of course.” you said. “give me the best you’ve got.”
his eyes glanced to the side, then back at you. “mmm, i dare you to tell me one of your biggest fears.”
you flared your nose. “that’s the lamest dare. that’s all you could come up with? make it fun!”
“i don’t know…um…do a handstand or something.” he shrugged once again.
you titled your head to the side, shifting your hips on his bed. “are you okay?”
“uh..why?” he asked you. it was obvious that something was off with him, anybody who knew heeseung could tell that his body language was different than his normal; he was being awkward and he wasn’t talking as much as he usually did. the fact that he wasn’t even making an effort to flirt with you in the grossest ways possible was throwing you off.
not to say you LIKED being flirted with but…come on, you kind of missed it.
“you’re being so weird.” you told him, glancing down at his shirt again.
he sighed. “i’m a bit tired, that’s all.”
you were quiet for a bit. was he tired from cumming a few minutes before? could his orgasm have been so intense that it made him groggy? reserved?
“truth or dare?” you asked him, your eyes fixated on your own. you wanted to know why he picked right before you came over to touch himself. why he’d do it right in front of his window, and most of all, why he was trying to pretend like he wasn’t just making a mess in his room before you came?
“truth.” he said.
“what are you tired from?” you asked him, intensely gazing into his eyes.
he smiled a little, “basketball practice this morning. just the usual.”
“that’s all?” you asked him once again, feeling a bit antsy from the smile that was plastered on his face.
“is there something else you’re thinking i did?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.
your tongue slid over your lower lip, feeling a wave of heat fall over your head. “i…”
his eyebrow raised. “you..?”
“i saw you.” you admitted, feeling your once assertive demeanor fade into a timid one.
he bit his lip, attempting to hold back his smile from growing wider. as his eyes trailed down, he leaned his head back against the wall. “saw me doing what?” you looked away from him, reaching back to grab your phone but his hand grabbed your arm. “no, say it. don’t start something if you can’t finish it…”
“dude, i didn’t see anything. i don’t know what i’m talking about.” you told him, pulling your arm away from him and crossing your legs, hoping that he didn’t the arousal that was seeping through your gray shorts.
he stood up, walking over to his window and opening the curtains. “saw me standing here earlier, right?”
you ignored him, staring down at your phone and scrolled through your instagram. before you realized it, heeseung was standing in front of you. he slid his index finger underneath your chin, tilting your head up to look at him. “saw me hand fucking myself, yeah?”
you slowly nodded, entranced at his intense eye contact.
“ah ah ah,” he tsked in a disapproving manner. “use your words, you’re a big girl.”
“yes..” you whispered, feeling small underneath his gaze.
“there you go,” he cooed. “that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“no. i just…why did you do that…right in front of your window? right before i came over?” you asked him.
“why do you think?” he asked, sighing. “isn’t it obvious?”
“no?” you replied, “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
he dropped his hand to his side. “y/n, i like you. i’ve liked you since you moved next door to me.” he admitted, breaking eye contact to look down at your phone that still rested in your hand. “i couldn’t go a whole night stuck in my room with you with a straight face. it would’ve been harder than you think.”
“you like me?” you asked him, shocked.
“you’re so oblivious, i swear..” he scoffed, walking away from you and closed his curtains. “anyway, it’s not like it matters now anyway. you’re leaving in a few days.”
you scooted forwards a bit, “w-why would you just now tell me? i had no idea, heeseung. you couldn’t have told me like…freaking years ago?!”
“i told you because i wouldn’t have to face you when you rejected me. duh.” he weakly laughed, turning away from you and shuffling through some of his clothing.
you held onto the sheets underneath you, feeling completely at a loss at his words.
“i wouldn’t reject you, heeseung.” you told him.
“yeah you would, no need to lie about it.” he shrugged. “i’ve already coke to terms with it, it’s over with.”
tears began to pool in your eyes. you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that your best friend, neighbor, childhood crush was admitting his feelings to you 72 hours before you moved across the country. “heeseung, i…”
“you don’t have to let me down lightly, y/n. it’s cool, don’t worry.” he sighed, sitting down back beside you as he rubbed his arms. “are you hungry? there’s some f-“
you cut him off with a kiss, holding his face against your own. he was stiff at first, shocked. but soon, he kissed you back and pulled you onto his lap. his hands roamed over your curves, from your waist down to your ass.
but then, he pulled away and held your wrists. “y/n, why…why are you doing this?
tears fell from your eyes as you looked ahead at him, feeling your heart sadden at him; heeseung was so perfect. he had the cutest pair of large brown eyes along with a beautiful smile and a soothing voice. how could you have been so blind before? he was all you could ask for in a guy. he never made you feel uncomfortable, he was sweet, and he went above and beyond when doing things for you. how could you leave him in 3 days?
“because i like you too, heeseung.” you told him. “please don’t push me away. please.”
he looked at you, his eyes reflecting the same sadness you’d felt. he pressed his lips back to your own, holding your chest against his as he gently mended his lips with yours.
he let go of your wrists, using his hand to lay you flat on your back and lay atop of you. your hands caressed his cheeks, melting into the feeling of him. as the kiss deepened, you felt his hands moving up from your waist to your breasts, massaging your erect areola through your shirt. you moaned into his mouth, feeling a wave of arousal wash over you. heeseung pulled away, looking into your eyes.
“do you want this?” he asked, his eyes searching for any doubt or hesitation in your expression.
you nodded, “so bad.”
with that, he leaned back down to kiss you again, this time with more passion and intensity. you felt his hands moving down to your shorts, slipping them off along with your panties. he broke the kiss to look at you, taking in your naked form beneath him.
“you’re so perfect,” he whispered, before leaning down to kiss your neck. “so beautiful, so pretty.”
you whined his name, feeling his lips and tongue working their way down your body. heeseung spent a long time exploring every inch of your skin, eliciting moans and gasps from you with every touch.
he left wet kisses down your stomach down to your thighs, laying between your legs and propping them onto his shoulders. “y/n,” he whispered, “has anyone ever…done this to you before?”
you shook your head, “no, heeseung. no one has.”
he licked his lips, sucking on your dripping outer labia, sticking his tongue inside to flick his wet muscle against your achining clit.
“oh!” you squealed, arching your back at the surge of pleasure that rolled through your pelvis. “heeseung, oh my..”
he continued to pleasure you with his mouth, soon slipping in a finger to add to your pleasure. you gripped onto the sheets underneath you as you felt his rough fingertips rubbing against your convulsing walls, feeling a knot build up in your stomach.
“oh shit, heeseung….” you cried, throwing your head back as he held onto your thighs, forcing you down harder against his mouth. “i think i’m gonna…i think i’m gonna..”
he lifted his head up, replacing his tongue with his thumb as he kissed your thighs. “cum for me, baby.”
you squeezed your eyes shut as your orgasm ripped through your body, making your hips sputter. essense dripped out of your tender pussy as you moaned, closing your thighs over his hand.
he kept rubbing his thumb over your sensitive clit, “heeseung, stop. please, please, i can’t. it hurts…please…”
he crawled back up to kiss you, running his fingers through your hair. “we can stop now, if you want.”
you held his face, caressing his cheek. “no, i..i want to go all the way.”
“have you had sex before?” he asked.
you shook your head, “i’ve only…done other stuff. never went all the way.”
he kissed you once before sitting up. “before we do this, i just want you to know that i’ve liked you for…a very, very long time. even on the days where we wouldn’t talk, all i thought about was you. i couldn’t bring myself to date anyone else throughout highschool when i would go home and see you through your window, looking as pretty as ever. my heart has always belonged to you, and i hope that even when you go off work college, you always remember that i’ll always hold tight onto the thought of you, keeping you close to my heart. forever and always.”
you felt tears welling up in your eyes at his words, knowing how much courage it must have taken for him to say them. you took his hand, squeezing it tightly.
“i will always remember, heeseung,” you said, your voice filled with emotion. “and i will always hold onto the memories we’ve made together.”
he leaned down to kiss you again, his lips conveying all the emotions he couldn’t put into words. you felt his hands moving down to pull his pants down and he tightly held your hand within his, signaling that he was going to begin.
you felt the his cock poke against your pussy, making you gasp when you felt how hot and wet his tip was.
“squeeze my hand if it hurts and i’ll stop right away. sound good, pretty girl?” he asked, looking into your eyes.
“okay, i’m ready…” you told him, glancing down at his length prodding against your entrance. slowly but surely, you felt him slowly begin to push himself into your tight hole, stirring when you subconsciously clenched at the stretch. “y/n,” he huffed half laughed, “don’t squeeze like that. you’re gonna make me cum.”
you smiled a bit, “sorry..”
he kissed you again, glancing down and applying pressure to your tummy. “just relax, let me do the work.”
you complied, biting your lip as he bottomed out inside of you, not moving. you felt stuffed, one wrong move and he would impale your cervix. but something about the whole ordeal was turning you on so much, you could cum again without him even moving.
“feel okay?” he asked.
you nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pulled him down to kiss you. you rolled your hips against his own, itching for some type of stimulation.
he thrusted his hips into your own, starting at a slow pace as he reached down to being your leg over his back.
you moaned with pleasure, feeling a sense of euphoria wash over you as he brought you closer to another orgasm. you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper into you as you met his thrusts with your own.
heeseung picked up the pace, each thrust sending waves of pleasure through your body. you moaned into his mouth, your fingers scratching at his back as you held on for dear life.
heeseung pulled back, breaking the kiss to look down. "shit, your pussy is squeezing me," he moaned. “i’m gonna cum…”
you could feel his cock twitching inside you, signaling his impending release. the mere thought of him coming inside you sent you over the edge, your own orgasm crashing through you like a tidal wave.
you cried out his name, your body convulsing with pleasure as he continued to thrust into you, prolonging your orgasm. heeseung finally slowed down, his movements becoming more gentle as he rode out his own release.
with a final thrust, you felt his hot load shoot deep inside of your walls, panting the pink walls a tinge of white.
heeseung propped himself up, pulling his sensitive cock out of you and taking a deep breath.
he slipped his boxers back on and you claimed your breathing as you heard him walk away, coming back with a damp towel. you felt him wipe down your most sensitive areas and finish off with your face.
he tossed the towel to the side and helped you slip your panties back on along with your top. without a second thought, you held onto him, cuddling into the warmth of his exposed chest.
heeseung cuddled you back, laying beside you as he pulled his covers over the both of you.
“you did so well, y/n.” he whispered, planting a soft kiss against your nose. “was it okay?”
“more than okay…” you told him, closing your eyes and yawning. “thank you..for everything. for confessing to me and for making me cum twice in one night.”
he awkwardly laughed, shifting against you. “yeah…sure. are you sleepy?”
you order, “super sleepy.”
“sleep, we can talk more in the morning.”
and with that, you fell asleep. you weren’t sure what the future held for you and heeseungs relationship. all you knew was that you loved him for him. he was your friend, your first time, and now your first love. only time would tell for your relationship.
• ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗
authors note: here’s another lil fic! got bored and wanted to do a cute lil heeseung story, hope u liked it! 😊
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thesecretsofthedivine · 3 months
Text
Pick a Pile Reading | Messages From Your Future Spouse 💍🪐
Business Carrd 🍶🧺
Paid Services 🍇⭐
Tip Jar 🍾🎱
*Disclaimer: This is a collective reading - take what resonates and leave the rest. If this resonates with you, please show support by reposting (with credit), tipping, or booking with me! :)
*Exchanges with other intuitives/readers are available via dm's
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──────
PILE 1 COLLECTIVE
• I love the sound of your laughter.
• You’ve turned me into a more carefree person.
• Let’s spend the day baking/cooking then heading right back to bed to cuddle!
• I feel like we could never have enough quality time together.
• You’re my favorite person in the world.
• I’m addicted to your scent.
• We should start a family (🐾/👶).
• You’re my lock screen.
• I tell all my friends about you. If you checked my notifications, all you’d see is a group chat roasting me for how obsessed I am with you.
• There is no place I’d rather be than here with you in my arms.
• I like to watch you sleep. You just seem so peaceful and still that it’s intensely captivating. I hope you don’t mind 😵‍💫.
~ miscellaneous: earth sign placements. homebodies. 2 introverts or an introvert & an extrovert. hard-working, masculine qualities in your spouse. wholesome domestic moments.
PILE 2 COLLECTIVE
• I want to drown in the sea of your existence.
• Dedicating poetry and art to you — my favorite muse.
• There is nothing in the world that I wouldn’t give to have more time with you.
• I’m afraid of loss/dying, but entering old age with you would make my existence complete.
• Please don’t leave me.
• Can I wake you up early if I’m craving your attention? It’s hard for me to contain my excitement when you look this beautiful/attractive.
• Let’s watch the sunset together and stay up late talking for hours.
• Every detail of your existence does not go unnoticed by me.
• We were meant to love each other in this life/I know that we are past life lovers who have found one another again.
• Come on, baby. Don’t be shy with me.
~ miscellaneous: water sign placements (especially scorpio or for their moon sign). 2 night owls or a night owl & a morning person. hozier songs. romantic moments caught on camera/posted online. artist x muse trope.
PILE 3 COLLECTIVE
• You light me on fire with desire.
• I love teasing you more than anything else in the world.
• You’re my best friend and lover, all wrapped into one.
• My heart feels warm and glows from the inside whenever you’re around.
• I can’t lose you. If I do, I’ll go crazy.
• Let’s go for a drive, listen to music, eat food, and forget about our worries.
• I want to be the first person you call when you’re in trouble.
• I will never judge you.
• We will travel everywhere and make the world our own.
• I want to surprise you with grand gestures (especially via gifts or shared experiences).
~ miscellaneous: fire sign placements. ready or not — bridgit mendler. sneaky smirks that make you smile uncontrollably. spontaneous memories or communication. fluffy hair & tan skin features for some.
PILE 4 COLLECTIVE
• Pulling out all my best jokes just for you.
• Give me a nickname and I’ll give you one back.
• How can I possibly deny your charm?!
• Your style is impeccable. Every time we’re in a shop together, I just want to watch you pose in front of the mirror.
• I’ll make you homemade snacks and share my family’s recipes with you!
• Spoiling you with acts of service.
• We don’t even have to speak to understand one another. Mere eye contact is enough.
• You bring out my (good) crazy side 🤪.
• I love how we can always bounce off each other’s energies so well.
• I wanna give you expensive jewelry or items with my initials on it.
~ miscellaneous: air sign placements. a quirky sense of humor. distinct eyebrows. friends to lovers trope (Monica & Chandler came to mind). latin/hispanic backgrounds for some.
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pigcowboys · 3 months
Note
Hi! I loved the missing reader x Percy thing you did! Could you please make a part 2?
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pairing: percy jackson x gn! reader
summary: percy finds in one of the strangest places he'd never figured to look in.
warning(s): injuries, blood, depictions of depression maybe, slight violence.
a/n: this was going to come out sooner but i fucking deleted the original part 2nd had to rewrite it all *sobs* HOPE YOU ENJOY THOUGH!!
word count: 4.5k (WOAH.)
TAGLIST (lmk if you also wanna be added!): @quackitysdrugdealer @ourgoddessathena @gojos-gurl-01 @anuncalledbridge @itzmeme
part 1
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have you ever had a really fucked-up mushy dream-like nightmare thing where your whole body feels like it's being submerged?
well, percy hadn't.
not until you went missing, at least.
it always went the same, he'd groggily make his way into his empty cabin, gently closing the door behind him as he'd plop onto his bed ignoring the low growling in his stomach that reminded him that he had successfully managed to skip breakfast, lunch and dinner as his head sunk into his pillow.
as quickly as it could happen — he'd fall to sleep, waking up inside of his own mind that was pitch black. nobody was around, it was just him —completely alone and..shivering? he'd take his first breath of air before a pair of cold hands would pull him down by the leg, causing him to claw at the darkness around him as he tried to loosen it's grip.
the same drowning dream - it seemed like an upgrade from any of the nightmares he was having about you.
yet, this time , just as he was about to wake up from the torture and lay restless in his bed he'd finally find his footing. footing on..grass.
where was he?
percy squinted his eyes as he adjusted to the silhouette of something or, someone in the distance. he most likely should've ran but, he found himself chasing after the figure, running through the meadow he'd found himself in as he finally caught up.
out of breath he looked around for the thing he was chasing before his eyes spotted something.
you.
wait, you?
a smile creeped onto your face when you spotted him, staring at you like he'd seen a ghost. he might as well have, right? you weren't actually here, that was for sure.
"well, don't just stand there," you spoke up suddenly, lithe in your voice. you sounded almost human. "sit," you patted the grassy spot next to you, looking at him with curious eyes.
he obeyed immediately, sitting criss-cross next to you, his scuffed-up converses looking back at him. despite your eagerness to get to speak with him, all percy could do was stare at you with a dazed expression.
"you're not.." percy said, trailing off.
"I’m not..” you trailed off, waiting for him to finish. percy almost flinched when you placed your hand onto his trembling one. "are you okay, perce?" you prodded, a concerned look on your face as you stared him dead in his eyes.
freaky, his heart skipped a beat.
percy analyzed your face for a moment longer, reading too much into how his mind had managed to get every last feature down to a tee. he shook his head yes as an answer to your question, leaning forward slightly when a soft laugh left your lips.
it was close enough to the original.
"did you miss me?" you asked, brushing your fingers against his own absentmindedly.
"more than you could ever imagine." percy breathed out, interlocking your fingers. his voice wavered slightly as he spoke — even though it was in the comfort of his own mind, he still managed to get choked up seeing you. the blank stare on your face as you stared back at him with an otherworldly look in your eyes prompted him to lean forward, pulling you into a tight hug.
you hugged back reluctantly, thankfully not mentioning the fact he sniffed your clothes slightly as his head sunk further into the crook of your neck, molding with your own body. you cradled his head, stroking his hair slightly and percy tried his best not to cry.
he missed this, he missed you.
"percy," he hummed in acknowledgement. "i can barely breathe..” you murmured quietly, to which he loosened his grip around you, leaning back to observe you silently.
his mind prompted him to make a comment about whether or not possibly dead partners in his mind were able to breathe but he decided agaisnt it, it’d kill the mood, he decided.
“are you..you’re okay, right?” he asked, concern laced in his voice. percy had always had weird dreams before, it wasn’t like it was anything new at all — though, most of those dreams had a deeper meaning.
judging by the fact you were basically another version of his partner that his mind had conjured up, it was definitely trying to say something. maybe he was in over his head but, he had to know that you were at least safe.
you — or the other you, stared at him silently as a smile curl onto your lips. you brought a hand to cup his face, pressing a chaste kiss to his nose as you pulled back to look at his dazed expression.
“we’ll be together soon,” you murmured out. “and when we meet,” you pressed on, a playfully glint in your eye. “i’ll make sure you get a good night’s sleep.”
he felt slightly called out yet; couldn’t bear to argue back — not when the look in your eyes was one that he’d missed every single day since you disappeared. so, he bit his tongue, nodding a yes before collapsing back into your arms which gladly welcomed him back.
he felt at peace for once in the last month as he laid his head in your lap, eyes drooping as he tried his best to fight the sleep that was overpowering him. he could barely manage to understand the whisper of “i love you” in his ear as he finally fell back to sleep.
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now, percy had never been a morning person but, waking up after having a dream that surreal was the equivalent of waking up and realizing you’d managed to sleep past all 5 of your alarms.
was it possible to wake up and feel like you were still sleeping? i mean, I guess it was now. everything about that dream he experienced stuck with him. especially, for that one-liner of yours.
“we’ll meet soon “ how soon? in a few days or so?
it felt like more of a finishing move for him to be honest. you wanted him to come find you right? you were alive and this was your way of trying to tell him where you had been.
uh..probably. it didn’t matter. how long had been since you were gone? too long, that’s the answer. he didn’t just miss seeing you around, he needed to see you, now— right now. it seemed like everyone except him wasn't as worried about you.
so, maybe that’s what prompted him to sneak out of the camp in the middle of the night to find you. it was dangerous, that was for damn sure. though, he couldn’t sit around and wait for a search to start. he’d lose you just as quickly as he got you with that mentality.
in the end, it was no use, it was clear you weren’t anywhere near camp half-blood. this wasn’t something he could solve in the span of a few days, huh? last thing he’d heard of you, you were supposed to head out on some quest for chiron.
it wasn’t supposed to take a few days, just a quick pop over to the next state over. he remembered you complaining about going, fearing something might cause you to hold up there for a moment too long, missing his birthday.
he shrugged you off with a kiss, promising that it didn’t matter what happened, you’d celebrate his birthday whenever you two met again. you smiled back at him, agreeing to do so.
“you’re sure you want to do this alone?” annabeth asked, shrugging her backpack on as she slung her holster to the side. “I’m not saying you’re not capable, i'm just..worried.”
“i’ll be fine,” percy replied, absentmindedly fiddling with riptide that was tucked into his hoodie. “you’re going to search too?”
annabeth cracked a small smile.
“i can’t let you do this alone, strength in numbers and what not.” that almost made percy smile. it was nice to know at least someone believed in him, that someone cared enough to support him in his decision.
he nodded, hopping onto blackjack as he steadied himself on the stallion. he stared down at Annabeth with solemn eyes, he wanted to say something though, he wasn’t sure what. what could he say at all?
“thanks.” he murmured out, averting his eyes. annabeth smiled at him, a warm one that was filled with sadness regardless. she looked like she was trying to reassure him, to make him think that everything was going to be okay. he guessed she was just as scared as he was of what might’ve happened to you.
after all, there’s only a few different reasons behind half-bloods going missing. and he feared you weren’t going to be showing up at camp with a hazy memory anytime soon. he bid annabeth goodbye, darting off on blackjack as he tried to think of the first place to look for you.
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it wasn’t exactly easy to find someone who’d seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth, percy had to sadly figure that out as he glided through the air, checking places he believed you might’ve been when you left for your quest.
despite the reassurance from blackjack, he still was starting to slowly lose his resolve — just a bit.
he managed to find a place to sleep in for the night, reluctantly taking refugee in a not-so-satisfactory run down motel that was situated a bit off the main road.
he was sure if you were here with him you’d complain about the quality of the hotel, taking extra precautions to make sure neither of you contract anything that might’ve been lurking around. percy could almost hear your voice as he threw his stuff to the floor of the room, collapsing on the bed completely spent.
the bed wasn’t comfortable — like.. at all, but it was good enough for him considering he’d been practically limping around for the past half an hour, running on only a few hours of sleep. if percy had it his way, he wouldn’t have even went to this motel.
he would’ve continued to search for you till the crack of dawn. though, he imagined what you’d say to the prominent eye bags on his face when you finally met again, concern laced on your face as you asked him what had happened to him.
for once that night, the nightmares had finally stopped — surprisingly. percy guessed was too tried to dream about anything specifically. a part of him enjoyed not having an double edged dreams anymore, even if the other part desperately wished he’d dream of you again — just one more time to let him know you were probably still alive.
he dragged his feet, groggily making his way out of his room as he checked out, proceeding back on his search on foot.
blackjack had been carrying him around him around for hours the prior day — it was only fair that he got a break. especially considering all the bad vibes percy was giving off with your disappearance. though, he had to admit, he really missed the quips of the stallion as he searched for you.
you sure you’re good alone? blackjack asked, his face unmoving yet his voice laced with obvious worry.
“i’ll be fine,” percy replied, sleep still evident in his voice. “i’ll catch you later, okay?”
blackjack neighed in agreement, flapping his wings slightly as he hovered above the air, stilling for a moment as he looked down at percy.
be careful, boss. then he was gone.
percy had to admit, he did miss not having to use his own two feet.
he had ventured a bit deeper into the nearby city a few ways past the motel. for the early time that it was, everyone was especially bright. it made percy slightly embarrassed when he realized how he probably looked like; completely and totally exhausted. his messy bed hair he hasn’t bothered to fix before leaving most likely didn’t help at all.
he absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair, attempting to make it look at-least calm as his mind flashed with memories of you once doing the same as he was. it hurt his heart to think about it.
percy figured he’d grab a bite to eat before heading back out, settling on going to a nearby diner that was situated in the city a few blocks down. he was almost eased by the sights of the happy families walking hand and hand down the street, a small smile softly making its way onto his face as he advanced towards the restaurant.
he wondered if you doing okay — wherever you were.
he felt uncomfortable as he made his way towards a small diner tucked away from the main bustling street. it was fishy but, he was hungry -- and tired as hell. percy slid into a booth, watching intently as a waiter came over to him, writing down his order - which was the first good thing he'd seen on the menu.
he practically scarfed it all down when his order came out, he was so entranced with his food he barely noticed the dog that had snuck its way over to his table, begging for some of his food which he graciously offered to it.the dog caught the sasuage in mid-air, swallowing it with one bite, it was the first time he’d been amused in a while. then, a thought struck him.
you’d love this, wouldn't you?
then he wasn't as amused as he was a second ago, finishing his food in quiet silence as the dog ran back to who percy presumed was his owner.
yikes..not even the dog wanted to stay with him?
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percy exited the diner after finishing his food - he'd noticed some of the workers had started to pay extra attention to him as he ate. their eyes followed him out the door after he paid as well.
monsters, in plain sight too. hey, at least he got to eat something before they noticed.
he returned to the road before he knew it, once again regretting his streak of empathy that had left him resorting to walking again. after all that's happened, he wasn't too sure he was fond of land.
he started to get that feeling he was getting followed, a chill shiver up his spine as he stole glances behind him - nobody was there. though, he knew better. it was undeniable that he was going to be ambushed at some point into this walk.
the feeling started to intensify the further he walked, everything in him told him to run. and he was sure that they were right for saying so when he was almost sliced by a sharp claw from above. percy reared his head to look up at the sky, meeting eyes with his attacker - er..attackers.
he was surrounded.
percy felt like he recognized the look of these monsters - it must've been one that you'd told him about before. man, he wished he'd paid attention instead of zoning out and staring at your lips.
percy's mind raced as the monsters started to grow closer to him, swiping at him from the air which he managed to duck by a hair, taking off as he made a mad dash down the street - the forest.
maybe, he'd be able to lose them for a bit 'till he could put together a plan.
percy's lungs hurt as he ran, he was running pretty fast for someone who hadn't gotten a full 8 hours of sleep. last night might've been the first time in what..three days? gosh, he hadn't eaten either. what would you say?
percy's legs gave out after some time as he tumbled clumsily into a hiding spot, ducking down as he heard the monsters zoom around in confusion before heading in a direction not too far off from where he was. he was stranded, and this time with no help.
maybe he should've asked annabeth to come along after all.
percy's throat stung as he tried to steady his breathing, uncapping riptide as he readied his sword, standing up quietly as he zoned in on the forest. the monsters were probably a few feet away from him, nose still fresh on his scent.
it'd be a matter of time before they caught his scent over here and attacked him, killing him before he could even get to you. he felt queasy at the prospect of that.
still, he readied his sword, making a mad dash towards where the monsters were. he figured he'd get the jump on them, after all, despite being fast, they were dumb as bricks. and he'd use that to his advantage.
it all moved too fast for him to process - he managed to get the jump on one of the monsters, swiftly cutting at it as it sunk to the ground, calling its other friends towards it. then, percy was sinking his sword around like a madman, dodging the monster's heavy attacks as he sidestepped, taking out two as he dove out of the way of one that charged at them.
he would've found it funny if he hadn't been struck by another one of them, slicing harshly at his sin as it took advantage of the fact he was caught off guard, going in for another attack that would've caved in his skull if he hadn't ducked.
okay..maybe this was a bit serious.
percy managed to get the upper hand despite his hindrance, killing the other monsters as he finished off the final one - maybe a bit more bruised than he would've hoped to be. his eyes were heavy and his legs felt like lead as he moved away from the forest, making it back to the main road before collapsing all completely.
how seriously lame could he be?
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percy's eyes fluttered open as he took notice of the fact he was moving now. his eyes adjusted to the sky, a yawn slipping through him as he steadied himself.
"blackjack," he murmured out, eyebrow knitted in confusion. "how'd I get here? how'd you know..?"
"you really thought i'd leave you there alone when you looked like that? hah!" blackjack kicked his feet as he laughed which percy guessed meant that he really did look rough. percy's face burned in embarrassment.
"how long was i out for?" percy asked, leaning his head back to look up at the sky.
"a while. not too long though," blackjack whined. "just in time for campfire time - er, if you're even up for it." percy frowned, it was nighttime and he still hadn't found you. he'd have to wait a bit more before he'd be able to arrange another search party for you - especially with his injuries.
his shoulder seemed to bloom with discomfort as he said that, causing him to stifle a wince of pain.
"blackjack?"
the horse whined in response, zooming through the sky at a leisurely pace. "yeah?" he said.
"when we get back..i'll let you have whatever you wanna eat."
that seemed to somehow raise blackjack's drive as the ride got significantly faster when percy said that. they were back at camp before he even really knew it. percy had been more tired than he realized, he practically chucked the bundle of carrots blackjack had requested, trudging towards the poseidon cabin.
now, percy wasn't an unfriendly person but, he had to admit, when some of the campers came up to ask if he was okay, he had to resist the urge to reply with "what do you think?", not his best moment.
his heart hurt terribly - though he wasn't sure if it was because of the injuries he'd suffered or the fact he still hadn't found you. he'd have to visit the infirmary, like, after he slept - he was exhausted.
his eyes were glued to the floor as as he opened the door to the poseidon cabin, stumbling in slightly as he moved his head to look up finally, breath catching in his throat.
the current occupant of his thoughts, the reason he had been tossing and turning at night - completely and utterly spent but still wide awake. hell, the reason he even went on some stupid expedition without so much as a first clue or guidance.
you.
his lips trembled as he stared at you, mind blank as you stared back at him. the actual you - not some dream persona he'd made up to cope with the loneliness of you being absent. his body moved fasted than his mind because, before you could so much as muster up a word out of your beautiful lips, he charged you, tackling you into a crushing hug - and it was real.
so real.
percy choked back a sob as you hugged him back, your arms coming up to wrap around his shoulders as he clutched your waist like you were going to disappear again if he didn't grasp hard enough. no words were spoken as you embraced each other.
"percy.. i can't breathe," you mumbled out, a small giggle in your voice. he reluctantly let go of you, his hands never leaving your waist as you smiled at him. gods..he wanted to kiss you so badly.
so he did, leaning forward suddenly as he pressed an urgent kiss to your lips. he felt like he could've died right there when you kissed back, sighing into the kiss as your hand moved to cup his face.
percy parted from the kiss, eyes twitching with tears that threatened to spill as he spoke finally, voice breathless. "how..wh?" he sputtered out.
yeah, real smooth, percy.
"the hunters," you answered his incoherent question. "they found me - I was barely staying alive around that time before they got to me." percy felt his heart sink.
"what happened?" percy asked, voice soft. his fingers played with the hem of your shirt as he held you, eyebrows knit in concern. you stared at him silently for a moment before speaking.
"i was intercepted," you said casually - like it was something that happened every day to you. "barely got away with my life - I guess my parent was looking out for me at that moment cause I managed to fend them off and find shelter." your voice tried to be playfully though, there was an undertone of sadness in your voice.
percy frowned heavily, cupping your face as he examined it carefully. "but..you're okay, right? no bruises..?" you nodded as best as you could with his hands holding your head steady, smiling slightly when he released his grip on your cheeks.
"i'm sorry i didn't iris message - or say anything," you apologized quietly. how could you seriously apologize for something like that? you were practically at your deathbed. "when i got back to camp - the connection wasn't working.." you trailed off, seemingly still shaken up.
"when i was out of commission, they ransacked my camp - i couldn't grab my stuff..i didn't have any change." your face heated up in embarrassment.
percy felt his blood boil in anger as he listened to your story, you seemed so shaken up - he was mad at himself for not being there to help you. he didn't even have the first clue you were. what kind of boyfriend was he?
"all that matters in you're safe.." he sighed out, smiling softly as his fingers traced your features gently. now that he had experienced the loss of not having you in his life, he was going to make sure he'd treasure all the time he spent with you.
"you're hurt." you pointed out, eyebrows furrowed in concern as you reached a hand out to graze against the slash on his shoulder. "i have nectar," you said, rushing towards your pack that was situated on the floor alongside some other belongings.
had you been sleeping here while he was away?
despite how long you'd been dating, percy never ceased to get choked up when you were in close proximity to him. it seemed to be flaring up even worse now considering it'd been so long since he'd seen you. he leaned his head back as you fed him the nectar, smiling slightly as the taste flooded his mouth, comforting him instantly.
"better?" you asked, setting the nectar aside.
"better," he replied, smiling warmly, his eyes drifting to your pack on the floor along with your other belongings "..have you been sleeping here?"
you turned around to stare at the assortment of personal items that had been littered around the floor of the poseidon cabin - evidence that percy was correct. how you managed to even sneak into his cabin without the counselors noticing was a mystery to him, not that it mattered at all.
"i'm exhausted.." percy sighed out, hands coming up to grip your waist as he buried his head into your shoulder. "think you can stay another night in here? I'll keep you company this time." percy said, rearing his head up to look at you.
you hummed in thought, though, he wasn't sure why you tried to pretend like you even needed to think about it. a pretty smile spread across your face as you murmured out a small 'yeah, sure'.
oh gods, it was cute that you were trying to hide your excitement.
"i just realized! i totally missed your birthday, didn't i?" you asked suddenly, reminding percy that he had in fact missed his own birthday as well. gods, his mom - he needed to call her. she was probably worried sick.
"it's fine..i did too." he smiled slightly,percy hoped you couldn't see how red his face was in the dimmer lighting of the poseidon cabin. or how his eyes kept flicking towards your lips again as you spoke. ah..he was only human after all.
"let's celebrate tomorrow, yeah?" he whispered, pulling you towards him as the two of you lay side by side on his bed, bodies turned towards each other.
"it's a date." you replied, a small smile on his face
percy laughed at that, leaning forward to press a slow kiss to your lips, pulling away to rest his forehead against your own as he breathed in your scent. something bloomed in his stomach when he did, instantly putting him at ease as he sighed contently against your skin, a smile curling onto his lips.
"i missed this.." was all he whispered before he ended up dozing off, his arms wrapped around you like he was scared you were going to disappear again as the two of you slept soundly. percy was pretty sure chiron and mr. d knew you weren't where you were supposed to be but, he guessed that they owed this to him, right?
yeah, they did. it'd been too long since he experienced having your skin against his own like this. it made all the nights spent restless in his bed seem like a thing of the past as percy slept soundly that night - no nightmares, nothing.
just the soft sound of your snores and your fingers interlocked with his own.
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gracieheartspedro · 7 months
Text
Somewhere With You
Part 4 of How Long
pairing: f!reader x brother-in-law!joel miller
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FIND Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 HERE!!
description: sleeping with your exes brother is one thing, but envisioning a whole life with him? that's a dangerous game. but you did it. now you're here, and tommy is fucking pissed.
word count: 5.3k
warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, pre!outbreak joel, there is smut in this part!! fear of being caught by sarah?, unprotected p in v, oral sex (f receiving), joel is a CONSENT KING, dirty talk, overstimulation, titty fucking (yw caly), light violence, tommy is literally evil.
author's note: jesus christ i'm so glad I am finally here with this. I feel like finishing this is my greatest success in life lmao. I will probably continue this series but this is the last part for a while. I appreciate everyone's love on it and I can't wait to get more stuff out to y'all!
“Are we going to have a celebration when we get home?”
Joel laughs, “Yeah, we can. What did you wanna do?”
You just listen to Sarah list off all the possible ways to celebrate winning the tournament. The movies, going to the mall for new jeans, going to the local ice cream parlor every night of the week. Joel shakes his head at that one as he turns the truck onto the highway. You have your knees up to your chest, the zip up Joel let you borrow hanging off your shoulders. You had complained about how cold you were all weekend, so Joel shut you up by tossing you his zip up. You haven’t taken it off since. 
The sun was setting over the horizon, drawing the Sunday to a close. You had to work in the morning and you were dreading concluding the weekend you spent with Joel and Sarah. 
Everything with them seems natural. It felt like family. 
You did not want to face tomorrow, especially when there was no set plans as to when you would be hanging out with them again. 
Luckily, Sarah has not mentioned much of anything about what she saw early Saturday morning, so there was no awkward tension. The only time it came up was when you all were tired from Saturday’s events and you arrived back to the hotel room.
“You two sleeping together tonight, too?” She asked, her eyes heavy with exhaustion. She wasn’t even trying to be rude or demeaning, she just wanted to know if she could fall asleep in one of the beds without being stirred. 
“Yeah, you can have that bed hun.” Joel answered. 
Sitting on those horribly uncomfortable bleachers and cheering Sarah on had taken a lot out of you, so you were ready to throw yourself into the plush mattress, too. 
You watched Sarah throw herself onto of the comforter, sinking into the pillows face first. It makes you giggle while you grab your pajamas to change. 
Joel nudges you while you dig through your duffle, “No funny business tonight, ma’am.” 
You shake your head, his comment making your stomach turn upside down with nerves. You smack his chest with the back of your hand, “No duh, asshole.”
Sarah puts her headphones on, drowning out Joel’s humming to an old country song. You just stare ahead, watching him speed pass car after car. His truck revs every time he does it which makes you clench your knees a bit tighter. 
“In a rush, dear?”
The nickname makes his heart race.
He taps his fingers, trying to act like that nickname doesn’t drive him insane. “Want to make sure to get you home so you can be rested up for work in the morning.”
“That’s mighty sweet of you, but take your time. I’m in no rush.”
He eases off the gas a bit, taking your advice. 
“You talk to your Mama lately? She still likin’ Maine?” 
It wasn’t a question you were expecting coming from Joel. You had told him about your mom around the time that she moved away, however long ago that was. You truly didn’t expect him to even remember.
“We talk every week, she likes it there. Wants me to come experience a winter there, so I may go up for Christmas,” You explain, remembering back to conversation you two just had last week. She wanted you to feel what fluffy snow felt like and maybe go skiing with her. 
It makes Joel’s heart sink a bit. Not because you would be visiting your mother, but instead you would not be here to spend Christmas with him and Sarah. He had already planned on making a spot for you at the dining table. 
“That’d be nice,” He licks his lips, contemplating if he should say what he really wants to say, “‘M bettin’ she misses seein’ your beautiful face everyday.”
You smile, your cheeks burning hot at Joel calling you beautiful. You knew you had to throw him off and give him a sarcastic response to keep him on his toes.
“Gonna freeze my ass off there. May have to borrow some of your flannels.”
He chuckles, tilting his head towards you, “You already havta’ have about four of my t-shirts, now that hoodie. You wanna raid me some more?”
“If I’m remembering correctly, you said I just had to “get with you” to get clothes,” You’re whispering, leaning into him. You don’t want Sarah to hear the words you’re speaking to her father, “How many times do we need to go at it before I get one of those denim jackets you own?”
He peers over at you. You smirk, quirking one eyebrow up.
“You with me to get my clothes or somethin’?”
“That and other things,” You tease, pulling away, leaning your back against the seat again. 
Joel peers into the rear view mirror. Sarah is asleep, her headphones blasting her favorite pop album. He tilts his head towards you, his eyes not leaving the road, “You’ll havta remind me of those other things when we get home.”
He could get used to always having you in his passenger seat. 
-
Sarah was dead asleep in the backseat, so you both decided to get all the stuff from the back inside before nudging her awake. You quietly shut the door, grabbing Joel’s one bag from the driveway and slinging it over your shoulder. 
You follow close behind him as he unlocks the front door and places Sarah’s stuff on the staircase. 
The idea of having to leave made you want to scream. You didn’t feel like driving home and laying lonely in your own bed. You didn’t want to resume your boring life at work. You just wanted him. 
This weekend made you realize that you really couldn’t live without him. You’re not only comfortable around him, but he’s exciting. He cracks jokes and compliments you when you don’t expect it. Those couple of months without him were still months he was plaguing your mind, even though he wasn’t physically around you. 
You snap out of your thoughts quickly. You start watching Joel’s muscles restrict over his gray t-shirt and it’s enough to send you to your knees. You didn’t even realize how crazy he was driving you. His messy curls that were trapped under a hat most of the weekend are finally loose and curling up his neck. And the way his jeans hugged his ass while he walked away from you? You didn’t know how long to could refrain from telling him you needed him, right this second. 
“I may call out tomorrow. Too tired to sit on my computer all day and run reports,” You say while he wonders back to you from his bedroom down the hall. You’re hoping it leads to an offer.  
He nods, tossing his keys on the entry table next to you,“Yeah, I am off tomorrow. Have to get this house in order and make sure Sarah actually wakes up for school in the morning.”
No offer. Maybe you could propose it?
“Maybe I could just spend the night.”
The air is thick instantly with tension. You can hear the hitch in his throat. Once you say it, you realize how desperate you must sound. But you want to be able to lay next to him again. You want and need him. 
“If that’s what you wanna do, sweetheart. I don’t mind none. Love havin’ you here.”
He grabs your waist lazily, pulling you into his chest. The connection sends chills down your arms. 
“Are you sure? I don’t want to you to think I’m being needy.”
He doesn’t even hesitate, he just bows his head to capture your lips with his, giving you a slow sensual kiss. You move your hands up to his neck, pulling him down further into you, eager to be close to him. 
When he realizes that’s where it’s going, he pulls up for air. 
“Lemme go get the last couple bags and get Sarah inside.”
As he says that, the door flings open behind you. A sleepy Sarah blinks at both of you, shaking her head instantly when she sees her Dad’s arms wrapped around you. You push back, flinging yourself backwards and away from Joel. 
“Can you lovebirds do that somewhere else,” She groans, while rubbing her eyes, “Don’t need another sibling created right in front of m-”
“Sarah Jane!”
-
You smile when Joel drops onto his mattress with a huff. 
“So…” You drift off, crawling onto Joel’s lap, “You come here often?”
He chuckles, his hands beginning to trail your waist.
“Come here quite often, actually,” He jokes, his hands resting right under your shirt and on your hips. “How about you?”
You hum, “Not really. Maybe a couple times. Would love to come around, more though.”
“That so?”
You lean down, using your fingers to pull back his brown locks and pivot his head upward. You kiss him gingerly, smiling at his small groan.
You pull away, “I’d love to come to your bed every night, Joel Miller.”
The guttural moan he makes sends a rush to your core. He grabs the nape of your neck and brings you back down to his lips. He takes control of your movements, switching positions by gently laying you back. He leans over your body, his lips carrying the weight of his emotion. You’re scrambling though, tugging at his shirt, trying to rid it off his body. He pulls away to throw it off his body, motioning you to do the same. Soon, you two are completely naked.
“I never get sick of this view,” He rasps, his eyes raking your body. 
You smirk, “Back atcha, babe.”
He positions himself on top of you, his lips lingering on your neck and collarbones. 
Joel’s kisses are always intentional. It’s like he knows every pressure point on your body. His lips are always wet and supple, dragging across your soft skin. 
When his mouth reaches the skin around your breast, you start to arch up for more contact. He grabs your stomach, pushing it softly down onto the bed. 
“Patience, baby,” He mumbles, kissing the same area on the other breast. You jerk up again, absentmindedly.
“Can’t help it,” You whine, trying not to sound so desperate. 
He clicks his tongue, “You can and you will.”
His lips wrap around your nipple and you just watch with hooded lids. His eyes are closed, so focus on teasing every inch of your body. You can feel the slick pool between your legs at the sight. 
“Joel, please.”
He releases the pink nub, “What, baby? Use those words.”
“I want you all over, Joel.”
“Yeah? Where? Here?” 
He grabs your breast roughly, making you mewl. 
You finally gesture down. Your hand slides between your legs, dragging up and down your own slit. You gather as much slick as you can, bringing it up to Joel’s surprised expression. 
“I see…” He brings your fingers up to his lips. You gape at his next actions, amazed that he’s so filthy. He takes your two fingers and licks them like a popsicle. You audible sigh as he sucks on your fingers like a man starved. 
“You goin’ to be extra good for me?” He asks when your digits escape his mouth. 
“Always am.”
Your voice is shaky when you say it. It makes Joel smirk. He loves when you sound ruined.
“Love hearing those words come out of your pretty little mouth.”
He crawls down your body, peppering kisses from your stomach down to your thighs. You watch him closely as he props your thighs over his shoulders. He does not waste time, diving straight into your divine center. You try to refrain from screaming his name, knowing Sarah may not be asleep yet. You clap your hand over your mouth while he licks your sensitive clit. He lays his tongue flat, pressing into you as he shakes his head back and forth. When he does that, you yelp into your palm. 
“Mmm, baby girl wants to be loud so bad,” He chuckles darkly, using his fingers to spread your lips, “You wanna be loud for me huh?”
“Yes, please, God,” You pant, “Need you in me, Joel.”
“Yeah? Lets stretch you out a bit,” He doesn’t even give any warning when he sinks his fingers inside your pussy. “Gotta make sure you’re nice and ready, baby girl. Want you to cum before I stick this cock in ya.”
You swallow, letting him take the lead like usual. You liked it this way, when he ravishes you with his abilities and you get to cum several times. You never had sex like this in your life, especially consistently. 
His fingers curl inside you, pumping in and out. You can hear how wet you are, the wetness sequelching against Joel’s fingers. Your pussy is graced with his tongue again while he fucks you with his digits. It’s like it’s pulled out of you. The orgasm sends white hot flashes to your vision. You know you’re saying something, but it’s no word in the English language. 
When you come back down from euphoria, Joel’s ontop of you again. He’s kissing your cheeks, mumbling something about how beautiful you are when you cum. 
“Joel, please,” Your hands grab onto his biceps, “Want you inside me.”
His cock drags along your navel, as he situates himself between your legs. 
“Yeah? Always so eager,” He grabs his cock with his free hand, “Wanna try something a little different?”
Your stomach drops, “Like what?”
He toys with your nipple with his pointer and thumb, “Always wanted to fuck these.”
You smirk at the thought, your stomach finally at ease.
“You want to fuck my titties, Joel?”
“If you’ll let me,” He squeezes your boob gently, “Think these things are perfect. Want my cock right between them.”
You nod, “Fuck ‘em then, baby.”
He pulls you up, practically shoving you on the ground beside his bed. He wasn’t being aggressive, just guiding you to follow his lead. You sit on your knees, watching up at him as he pumps his cock over you. You use both hands to push your tits together. He grins as he touches the head of his cock to your hard nipples. 
“So good for me,” He groans, slipping his cock between your cleavage, “Obeyin’ me and doin’ everythin’ I want. My fuckin’ dream girl.”
He starts to fuck your squeezed together tits as you stare up at him with a completely spent expression. You dribble some spit down between the break in your breast to lube up the area. Your pupils are blown and you feel the wetness of you slit soaking the skin of your legs. You can tell by the look on Joel’s face that he could cum at the sight of you. 
But he stops and instead, grabs your bicep and tosses you back on the bed. You watch him crawl up between your legs, his face untamed and filled with anticipation. 
“Need to cum in that pussy,” He pumps it a couple times before slipping in between your pussy lips, “Do you need me to put on a condom or anything? I don’t have to fuck you raw every time.”
You bite your lip, “I like feeling every part of you, Joel. I promise.”
“Mmm,” He hums, sinking his cock head inside you, “Love to hear that, baby.”
You circle your hips, practically fiening for him to sink all the way into you. He takes the hint, plunging into you with one snap. Once he’s finally sheathed in you, you groan out which only instigates him. He draws out and back in, his pace painstakingly slow. You grip onto his forearms, digging your nails into them. Maybe he will take the hint that you need it faster. 
But, no.
“Words, darlin’. Tell me what you need.”
You choke out the words, “Faster. Harder.”
He kisses your lips, shushing you as his tempo picks up. He wants to feel the vibrations of your moans. He knows if you’re too loud there may be listening ears, so kissing you will hush the sounds of pleasure. He sits up and repositions, grabbing the back of both of your legs, practically folding you in half. You smirk in delight, watching his furrowed expression focus on your body’s reactions. 
“This pussy is mine,” He huffs, watching himself plow into you, “All fuckin’ mine. Ya know that?”
“Yes,” You manage to peep out, “It’s yours, Joel.”
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” He spreads your legs, opening you up nice and wide. His thumb finds your responsive clit, circling it with the momentum of his hips, “Cum for me, baby. Soak this fuckin’ cock.”
Your body reacts in the way he finds so satisfying. Your hips lift up as the climax takes over, your whole body shaking at the ecstasy he brings you. He doesn’t let up, chasing his own bliss. You are so overstimulated, you are just gasping for air. He starts to falter, his pace slowing as he coats your insides with his cum. 
You start to chuckle when his body practically collapses onto you. His sweaty curls stick to your perspiring cheek. You find yourself kissing his temple, practically thanking him for fucking you so good every time.
He stands up, his half-hard dick slipping out of you pain-stakingly slow. You whimper at the feeling, still a mess from your orgasm. 
“God, you are perfect,” He mumbles, his hand slipping down your bare thigh, “Could fuck you every day for the rest of my life.”
You are still awestruck by the interaction, you don’t even know you’re saying it, “Why don’t you?”
He smiles while he helps you sit up, “I will. Now let’s get you all showered and ready for bed, huh?”
“Yes, please.”
-
Luckily for you, your body naturally wakes up at 5:30AM. You creep out of the bedroom, making sure not to stir Joel awake. You find the house phone and call your boss, letting her know you were “sick” and needed to use a sick day. She just mumbled a “whatever” and you hung up, heading back to the warmth of Joel’s bed. 
Joel wakes up as soon as you crawl back into bed, but he knew he had to get up and make sure Sarah got ready and off to school, anway. He cuddles you for a bit, watching you nod back off to sleep. He let you sleep in while he cleaned up the house a bit. He tries his best not to much too much noise, not wanting to rattle you awake. 
You did wake back up when you heard the vacuum. You pull yourself together, putting your hair up into a bun as you stumble out of the bedroom. Joel stands in the living room, not even aware you’re behind him. He jumps when he notices you in the threshold, turning off the vacuum. 
“Mornin’ sleepin’ beauty,” He laughs as he wraps up the vacuum cord. 
“Mornin’ handsome.”
You watch him roll the machine back into the hall closet before taking note to how nice and clean the house looked. 
“Looks good in here,” You mumble, noting how every surface looks dusted, “It’s missing one thing. You have a vase?”
He silently nods, looking at you confused.
“Go fill it with water, I’ll be back.”
You walk towards the front door, swinging it open as you begin tip toeing to Joel’s side garden. He had started it with Sarah years ago, and for the most part, it was completely overgrown. Some flowers still bloom in the Texas sun, so you pick the prettiest from the dirt. Once you have a bundle, you practically jog inside to show Joel your bouquet. 
“Hmm,” He smirks, “Didn’t think we needed flowers.”
“Well, you do.”
He shows you the vase on the coffee table, letting you take on the responsibility to make it pretty. He watches you carefully, your tired eyes trained on the task. 
You were his dream girl, truly.
Once you’re satisfied with your arrangement, you make a grand gesture. 
“Beautiful, baby,” He beams, wrapping his arms around your waist. He drops down onto the couch, pulling you into his lap. 
“Who me or the flowers?” You joke.
“Both.”
You give him a lazy kiss, smirking into it. 
This part of life with Joel is so domestic and perfect. You two could create this little world and live in it forever. He appreciated your silly antics, knowing how neglected this side of you must have been with Tommy. He didn’t care about the small gestures like Joel did. 
It was so reassuring being with Joel. He praised you like you had never been before. 
As you pull away from his lips, you hear a door slam outside. Before you could even react, the front door swings open into the house. You sit on Joel’s lap, turned away from the front door, completely dumbfounded.
“What is going on here?”
His voice scares you. You don’t even want to turn around in Joel’s lap to face him. Joel slowly helps you out of his lap, his eyes never leaving Tommy’s. 
When you finally turn to face Tommy, his eyes are wild and bright red. He looks like he hasn’t showered in days, his longer hair greasy and standing in all sorts of directions. It’s not his appearance that scares you, it’s the energy he’s brought into Joel’s living room. It’s the same scary tension you experienced when he lashed out on you before. 
Joel finally speaks up, clearing his throat. “What do you mean?”
But Tommy isn’t talking to Joel. He’s looking at you. 
“Are you fuckin’ my brother?”
He’s pointing at you, his finger waving at you like an adult who’s scolding a child. You open your mouth, but you can’t say anything. Your throat is dry, the shock and terror taking ahold of your vocal chords. 
“Tommy, we aren’t doing this.”
Joel puts himself in between Tommy and you, ensuring he doesn’t creep closer to you. You want to believe Tommy would never get physical with you, but the way he looks now, you’re not one hundred percent positive. 
“That’s not what I fuckin’ asking, Joel. Are you two sleepin’ together?” 
His voice is booming, bouncing off every corner of the room. It makes you shrink three sizes. 
Joel places his head up, warning him silently not to get any closer, “Tommy-”
“Answer the fuckin’ question!”
You want to curl into a ball. You knew this would fucking happen. You knew he’d go insane. 
You look at Joel finally. You realize your eyes were trained on Tommy in terror, unsure on how to console him. Joel licks his lips, rolling his eyes a bit. You just nod, trying to answer Tommy’s question without saying anything. You didn’t want him to realize how shaky your voice was. 
Once he gets confirmation, all hell breaks loose. He’s pushing on Joel with his chest, screaming expletives at him. You stand in the corner of the living room, your body practically wedged between a lamp and the couch. You want to become one of the dustbunnies on the floor boards, not wanting to be apart of this situation.
“You’re a fuckin’ asshole! You fucked my girl-“
Before he can even finish the statement, Joel becomes a brick wall. He’s staring down at Tommy now, all the while snot is running down at his little brother’s face. He looked pathetic. As he nudges Joel’s chest, he hardly moves a milimeter. Joel doesn’t even hesitate when he says the next words. 
“Not your girl.”
You truly cannot believe the words coming out of Joel’s mouth. You knew what he was insinuating and it brought chills up your back. Tommy’s movements completely halt and he stands there in a stunned silence. Joel’s jaw is slack, his eyes trained down at Tommy. It’s a stand-off. 
Tommy crooks his head to the side, like he’s stretching it. “You want to pull that shit now, Joel? I knew you wanted my sloppy seconds the moment you told me she was at your house that night.”
Being referred as “sloppy seconds” makes your blood boil. It’s so dehumanizing. 
“Stop talking about her like that,” Joel warns, his voice a whole octave lower. 
“No,” Tommy growls, his gaze finally falling on you again, “You’re a whore. Just like your stupid sister.”
You swallow hard. It’s finally your moment to shine. The burst of adrenaline chorusing through your veins finally propels you forward, pushing Joel out of your way. 
“You’re the town whore, Tommy Miller. You fucked your way around Austin and then came home to me every night,” You are shaking. Luckily, your voice isn’t wavering, “You lie. You cheat. You are a decietiful little shit. And I’m so glad you are because if you hadn’t slept with my sister and told me, I would have never realized how terrible you were to me all these years. I wasted so much time on babying you.”
The vein in his forehead is bulging and it makes you smile a bit. 
“If I could go back in time, I would’ve saved my fucking tears and ran the other direction.”
He has the audacity to giggle, “Instead you ran right into Joel’s arms.”
You don’t hesitate, “You never gave a damn about me, he actually did. I should’ve taken the hint the moment he brought me flowers for my graduation, and you showed up with a flask.”
“You graduated college! Big fuckin’ deal! Get over yourself!”
Now you’re laughing. 
“Bite me, Tommy,” You reach out and grab his t-shirt, pulling him into you. It makes Joel super nervous how close he is to you. He knows Tommy’s temper and how easily he will snap. He doesn’t know the next words about to come out of your mouth. 
“You cheated on me, you fucking loser. I told you then we were done that night, did I not? What I did after that point is not your business. I’m not yours anymore. And your brother, he treats me real good. Way better than you ever did. He can actually last, unlike you,” You smack your lips together, “He can fuck me better than you, that’s for sure.”
Joel’s eyes widen at the words. Tommy looks completely dazed, but as soon as the last line leaves your mouth, he pushes you backward, right into Joel. You squeak at the contact, your brain registering that he actually put his hands on you. Joel quickly grabs you from tripping over him, and places you behind him quickly. Tommy reaches out for you, but Joel stops him meer inches from your face. 
“Fuck you!”
Tommy tries to throw his hand at Joel’s head next but it’s quickly stopped by Joel’s forearm. Instead of Tommy continuing the fight with you two, he takes it out on the new flowers and vase you just put out on Joel’s coffee table. He uses all his force, grabbing the vase and launching it towards the wall. The glasses shatters, water splashes on the wall, and pieces of flowers litter the floor. 
The action sends Joel pushing Tommy backward and against the wall. You want to yell out for them to stop, but all that comes out his Joel’s name. 
When he pins Tommy to the wall, he finally turns to you. 
“Don’t.”
It’s the only word you can say. You’re shaking, your eyes welling with tears. Joel knows you don’t want to see him demolish Tommy with his fists, so he thinks quick. He grabs Tommy’s collar, dragging him out the front door. 
You follow far behind, not sure what Joel’s gameplan is. 
Tommy is yelling, telling Joel to unhand him. Joel just tightens his grip. 
“Coming into my house, talking to my girl like that. Fuckin’ disrespectful little shit.”
“Fuck you, Joel,” Tommy yells, his voice probably waking the neighbors. Joel launches Tommy’s body into the front yard, right near the flower bed. You watch from the doorway, wanting to keep your distance from the confrontation. 
“Remember when you had temper tantrums when Momma told you no as a boy? Nothings changed. You’re an immature little brat.”
Joel reaches down into the flower bed, grabbing the hose. Tommy is still on the ground, scrambling to get up. Joel does something so unexpected, it makes you yelp. He starts soaking Tommy with the hose. 
“Yeah, like the girl said before,” He aims towards Tommy’s face, “bite me.”
Tommy starts to spit up water, jumping up and away from the stream of water. Instead of tackling Joel like you anticipate, he just shakingly wipes his hair out of his eyes. 
“You two are sick. Fuckin’ sick. And everyone will know about this.”
It makes your heart sink to your stomach. You don’t really care if anyone knows anymore. You knew this was going to be the worst part, but its the way he makes it sound like a threat. 
“I bet they will, I just don’t give a damn.”
Joel sprays him while he stands up, making Tommy groan and yell out in annoyance. Joel just smiles, sickly. 
Tommy storms off to his truck, dripping wet from the shower Joel just gave him on his front lawn. Joel tosses the hose back into the garden, satisfied with his work. You two stand there, watching Tommy do a burn out and speed off down the road. You breathe out loud, your hands finding your face. Joel glances between his neighbour’s houses, ensuring there is no one outside watching the events unfold. He did not care if they did watch, but he knew you would probably care. 
He grabs ahold of your shoulders, guiding you back inside the house. Your eyes instantly fall on all the shattered glass and flowers as you walk inside. Joel ignores it and brings you into the kitchen. 
Your mind is racing. You knew every word you said to Tommy was right deep down. But the girl you were, she wouldn’t have instigated his rage. She would’ve sat there and took every word he said to heart and believed them. 
But the girl you are now, that girl is completely ruthless. You are petty. You are harsh. You are angry. 
You kind of scared yourself. 
“Joel-”
“No baby,” he mutters, “You better not say what I think you’re gonna say.”
“Joel, we can’t d-”
“We can. Because fuck Tommy. Fuck everyone,” He grabs your hips, letting his hands settle softly on your curves, “I want you. I want you so bad. I am not lettin’ you get away. Tommy can tell everyone in the fuckin’ world about us, and I won’t fuckin’ care. What he says doesn’t reflect you. You did nothin’ wrong. Okay?”
You swallow. You know he’s right, but you’re so scared of all this fallout. You don’t want it to scare you away from Joel, but it’s nervewracking to wait around and anticipate all of the chaos that will follow this incident. You did not want to tear apart a family. It’s the same feeling you had the morning after you first slept with Joel.
You’re scared to have him because of what it means for him. It means weird holidays and weird stares at grocery stores. It means you will be known as his brother’s ex girlfriend never just his girl. 
You don’t realize it, but you’re staring past Joel. He tilts your head towards him, making your eyes connect. 
“I love you, okay?”
His words make your heart flutter with relief. Maybe that’s what you needed. You needed him to finally say those words. Because those words were hanging in the back of your mind, simmering, waiting to be said.
“I love you, too, Joel.”
756 notes · View notes
museum-mind · 13 days
Text
I CAN TELL YOU MISS ME
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ᯓ★ sae thought it was the right decision to break up with you before moving to spain, but soon found himself checking your socials every other day — and searching for your face at every game.
a/n : i wanna do a part 2 of when sae comes back to japan but i don’t know..
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“i’m breaking up with you.” … “this relationship will never last.” … “goodbye, name.”
sae’s words rang through his head like a curse throughout the whole flight, his teeth biting harshly at his lower lip.
was this really the right decision? was it really necessary to throw away the love of his life for the sake of pursuing his soccer career?
it better have been, because it sure is difficult holding back tears in front of a bunch of strangers on a plane.
he sighed, unlocking the door to his new apartment; it strangely reminded him of your cozy little place.
sae had to remind himself over and over that you two were no longer, you were just a memory of the past; someone who he left behind in japan.
but when he’s laying alone on his large, king-sized bed, body sprawled out like a starfish and the sounds of the lively city drowned out his own harsh words — “name, we need to talk.” — he found it so hard to let you go.
he was the one who ended things, he had to! it’s not like you wanted to go to spain with him — you had a life, and you’d just be a nuisance to him anyways.
that’s what he says to himself, hands trembling as they click on the new story you just posted on instagram.
it seems that your friends, whom he never really liked, took you out to a club, of sorts.
his thumb flew to like your story, almost like a reflex, but he was quick to stop it.
he scanned the picture, a fancy outfit hugging your curves — did you always have that, or was it new? he certainly hadn’t seen you wear something so… risky, before.
he taps again, the next story — it’s you with your friend. all he can focus on is the smile on your face, so bright.
you seemed to be glowing, as if you’d turned into the brightest star in the sky.
you’d always been like that, sae thinks. you were the star, no — sun to his moon.
now you’re glowing for the sick eyes of the men in that filthy club. he would’ve taken you to a much nicer place.
he scowls as he taps again, eyes glaring down at the photo of you with another man — he guesses your annoying friend took the photo and posted it.
they always loved to meddle, didn’t they?
sae turns his phone off, deciding he’s seen enough for one night. it’s not like he cares about what you’re doing anyway… right?
sae places his phone back on the table, the tiredness from flying finally getting to him.
“just a nap,” he tells himself, laying down as he places his hands on his stomach, teal eyes staring up at the ceiling.
“just a nap” turned into an hour of emotions. sae couldn’t handle it, the thought of you — his one and only with some other man?
well, you’re not his anymore.
and with that, sae finally fell into the hands of sleep, dreams and images of you plaguing his mind.
as the sun sunk low, the moon glittering beautifully in the night, sae’s eyes fluttered open. he didn’t realise he���d been asleep for so long — the time difference sure did get to him.
days went by, and over time he grew to get used to the time.
one thing he couldn’t get used to, was being without you.
he didn’t even notice when he’d look at your account, scrolling through your new posts — you’re so pretty.
you seem much happier than he’s feeling.. ironic, since he’s the one who broke up with you in the first place!
he had his first game in spain, muscles cracking as he stretched.
it hurt when he stretched himself, you’d usually massage his muscles to help loosen him up — what is he thinking?! he’s better off without you!
but he did miss the touch of your hands.
he wasn’t playing as he normally would, this match… anyone could tell, even you, who was watching from the other side of the world.
you stayed up late, your room lit up by the screen playing sae’s match.
his game is so off today, you think. is something bothering him?
it’s not like it matters, anyway, he broke up with you…
sae stood still, eyes blank as the winner of the game was announced; itoshi sae’s team had lost.
all his dreams of becoming a striker, crushed. just like that.
in the span of weeks; sae had lost everything dear to him. and it was all his fault.
you knew the look in sae’s eyes — it was the very same emotion he looked at you with before he left.
emotionless and empty.
you sighed, turning the device off as you lay back down in your bed, arms reaching out to where sae used to rest.
your hand balls into a fist, tears threatening to spill. you can’t help but feel angry, yet sympathetic at the same time.
but is he really deserving of your emotions?
no. he’s not.
sae knows that, so as he plops back down to his bed, he’s already reaching for his phone and turning it on.
he’s doesn’t deserve to message you — he doesn’t have the right!
so he was surprised to see a text from you.
“i can tell you miss me.”
284 notes · View notes
xo-cori · 7 months
Text
it’s all a game to me anyway (II)
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pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader
summary: pining after athletes is never a good idea. that is, unless you’re good at getting what you want.
warnings: smut (MDNI), choking if you squint, praise kink, jesse being an ally
a/n: y’alllll this is ass but i got sm requests for a part 2. also @feelsoseencantdream wanted me to tag them so i’m thinking of making a taglist??? lmk if you wanna be added 😈 ALSO PSA!!! don’t sleep w anybody if you aren’t 100% sure that they’re CLEAN ok thx
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The very next day, you follow your usual routine. Daydream through all of your classes until you can finally start your venture towards the sports building, phone on silent with one headphone in your ear. However, the thrumming of your heart only drowns out the music, and it’s an unfamiliar feeling; the way your nerves are getting the best of you, the way you can only hope to be the one in charge here.
But, your nerves turn out to be right.
When you open the door to the rink that is usually filled with people at this time of day, you’re surprised to see that Abby is sitting there alone on the first bleacher. She doesn’t have on her usual hockey get-up; rather, she wears a grey hoodie and sweatpants, which tells you that she isn’t here to practice. Instead, she repeatedly runs a sharpener over the blade of one of her skates.
“Looking for someone?” She wonders, not even sparing a glance in your direction.
You cross your arms, opting to ignore her question and spare yourself the embarrassment. “No practice today?”
“Got cancelled. Coach’s daughter has a stomach bug,” she huffs, “besides, I think we all could use a day off.”
“Oh.” You reply, a small amount of anxiety creeping its way into your body. You step forward to take a seat a few inches away from her. “But you came here anyways? Why?”
Abby finally looks up from her skate and raises an eyebrow at you. “Why did you?”
This is a dynamic you aren’t used to. Being questioned like this without having anything snarky to say in response; it’s almost like Abby has the ability to steal the words from your mouth before you can even come up with them. “You know why.” You say.
She gestures to the empty rink. “No, not really. I figured you’d leave once you realized that there’s no one here to watch.”
“I’m here because you started something without finishing it.” You tell her, sternly, but it only makes her smile in amusement.
“Without finishing you, you mean.” She points out. “There’s cameras here. You, of all people, should know that.”
“We’ll go to the locker room again,” you reach out to grab her hand. “We can–”
“No.” Abby shuts you down immediately, though she doesn’t retract her hand from your grip. She lets you run your thumbs over her calloused palm and pretends not to notice the way it makes goosebumps rise across her arms; chalks it up to how damn cold it is in there. “Give me your phone.”
You tilt your head, confused, but you do what she says with a bit of hesitance. She takes your phone and goes to your contacts, adding her own number and name before giving it back to you. “I have to go. Text me your dorm number.”
Then, she stands up without another word and heads toward the door, leaving you in the same position you’d found yourself in the night before; this time, though, there’s hope. There’s an implication that she’ll finish what she started after all. You make sure to leave out the back door.
“Dina!” You call as you unlock the door to your room, seeing your roommate perk up from the couch. As per usual, her boyfriend, Jesse is laying with his feet kicked up on the armrest and his head in her lap.
She smiles when she sees you, quickly grabbing the remote to pause their movie. “What’s up, babe? You look like you just ran a marathon.”
A cheesy smile makes its way onto your face. “Literally nothing is wrong right now, because guess who’s coming over.”
Dina thinks for a moment, nose scrunched in concentration seeing as there’s lots of possibilities. But, the fact that she’s never seen you this excited about a girl before is enough of a hint as to who the lucky lady is. She pushes Jesse off of her and shoots up from her seat. “Abby?! No fucking way!”
You nod excitedly. “Yes fucking way! I don’t know when, or why, but–”
“Wait, since when is she into girls? Wasn’t she just with Owen?” Dina puts a hand on her hip, obviously just as confused as you.
“They broke up, but… if I was with Owen, I’d probably switch sides, too.” You shrug. “Either way, she’s coming tonight.”
“Which Abby?” Jesse asks, sitting up on the couch to look at you. “You’re acting all lovey-dovey, so I’m gonna assume she’s a good catch.”
You roll your eyes. “Come on, you know which Abby. Abby Anderson, captain of the hockey team? Six feet of pure muscle?”
Suddenly, Jesse seems just as invested in this conversation as you and Dina. “Jesus Christ, how’d you pull her?” He jokes, though you know it’s a genuine question– anybody involved in your university’s gossip knows that Abby hates hook-ups, and anyone who shoots their shot with her usually just makes a fool of themselves. Not you, though. You aren’t sure why but you’re hoping to find out.
“I don’t know! I’m so nervous. Why am I so nervous?” You place a hand over your rapidly beating heart.
Dina strolls over to you and grabs your shoulder. “Because you’ve been trying to scoop her up for, like, three months now. It’s weird to see you all amped up, but I don’t blame you, honestly. She’s intimidating and hot.”
“I’m literally sitting right here,” Jesse reminds her.
“Not for long, hopefully.” You look up at Dina. “You guys can do me a solid and finish your movie at Jesse’s place, right? Please?”
“Two steps ahead of you, sugar. I’m not waiting around for Anderson to show up. She’s… well, like I said, she’s intimidating.” Dina grabs Jesse’s car keys from the kitchen counter, which is Jesse’s cue to finally get off of the couch.
“Agreed,” he shakes his head, “I’ve seen her on that rink once and I can tell she’s not to be fucked with.”
You let out a sigh, relieved that this last-minute arrangement is already going smoothly. “Oh my god, thank you,” you say as Dina places her hands on your shoulders so that she can look into your eyes.
“Don’t have too much fun, you hear me? The last thing we need is a noise complaint.” She instructs you, then leans in to give you a peck on the forehead. “See you tomorrow morning?”
“Yeah, yeah, I hear you.” You grumble under your breath. Jesse waves a goodbye before they both head to the door, opening it and promptly freezing.
You lean forward to see that Abby is already standing right there.
“Oh. Hey,” Dina says, “uh, we were just leaving.”
Jesse smiles awkwardly while Dina grabs his wrist and ushers him out the door. Abby steps inside, head tilted over her shoulder to watch the couple speed-walk down the hallway before she shuts the door. “You seriously shoo’d your roommate away?”
“No,” you lie, “they… she was already going to his place tonight.”
She just stares at you, obviously not buying it. “Something tells me that isn’t true.”
You cross your arms. “Whatever. Why did you come here, anyways?”
Abby sighs as she walks forward and glances around, not yet directly toward you, almost like she’s surveying the area. As she gets closer, you catch a whiff of the familiar scent of her shampoo; pine and vanilla, already clouding your senses with desire. Your need for her has become primal. It’s something deep inside of you that has no beginning or end, no rhyme and no reason. “You don’t really need me to answer that question, do you?” She scoffs. “I thought I made it pretty clear.”
You look down at your feet. “Still would be nice to hear you say it.”
With the distance between you down to only a couple of inches, Abby’s standing in front of you in no time, her undivided attention now completely on you. You feel so small, and you kind of like it.
“What do you want me to say?” She shrugs. This time, though, there’s no underlying mockery in her voice. It’s a genuine question that gives you a sense of security. You gaze into her ocean blue eyes, cursing yourself for the way it makes your heart skip a beat.
“Maybe that I didn’t make myself look dumb yesterday when I told you how much I wanted you,” you answer, “and that you feel the same way.”
Abby tilts her head. “So, you expect me to say that I want you?”
“Kind of.” You mumble.
“Hm,” she leans back a bit, seemingly deep in thought for a moment (though her eyes don’t leave yours once). “My ego’s a little too big for that, but I’d rather just show you.”
You’re given no time to reply before you find yourself in the same position as the night before, with Abby grabbing hold of your waist and lifting you up to sit you down on the kitchen table. You spread your legs so she can stand between them as her lips finally meet yours, the show of strength making you melt beneath her.
This kiss is nothing like the last; carnal, sure, but there’s a hunger inside it and a strange sense of urgency, as if the world is ending and she needs to have you now. Her tongue effortlessly slides against yours and, unlike last time, there’s no battle for dominance. You submit to her without hesitation.
Abby, on the other hand– you’d have no idea how hard she’s trying to keep it together. You’re not exactly the type of person she could see herself falling for. She has a reputation to upkeep, which just so happens to be the complete opposite of yours. If anybody were to even speak both of your names in the same sentence, it could ruin her, leave her image tarnished while you move onto the next girl.
That doesn’t stop her, though. Now that she knows how it feels to kiss you, to touch you, to hear you beg for more, she doesn’t think anything could stop her.
You reach down to grab hold of her wrist, guiding her hand up to its rightful spot on your throat, and she wastes no time pressing her fingers down on the sides of your neck. Your mouth falls open with a gasp, thighs tightening around her waist. She rears back to look at you. “So fucking demanding.” She laughs.
“Just want you to touch me,” you huff out, voice low and shaky. “You left me hanging, Abby.”
“Because I wasn’t gonna fuck you in a locker room.” She says.
You smile, a mischievous glimmer in your half-lidded eyes. “But you’ll fuck me here?”
Abby smiles, too. “That’s the plan.”
She reaches down to the bottom of your sweater to pull it up over your head, throwing it behind her on the floor somewhere. It suddenly becomes very obvious that you’d been counting on getting lucky– you didn’t even bother putting on a bra.
Her eyes fall onto your chest and she stares shamelessly. “Really?”
Instead of responding, this time, you grab her wrists again and use the leverage to place her hands over both of your breasts. Even in the dim light of the kitchen, you can still see the way her pupils dilate once her palms meet your soft skin. She gently squeezes down, just once to test the waters, but you can tell from that action alone just how inexperienced she is with other women.
You place your hands over hers, making her squeeze again. Her breathing becomes heavy and her eyes become curious. She watches the way your skin moves between her fingers, beckoning her to explore.
Abby moves down to your neck, pressing hot kisses all over the marks she’d made the night before, licking over each bite mark that had already began to fade. You hadn’t even tried to cover them up. This only means something to her because she’d seen you walking around campus in those low-cut tank tops, a concoction of makeup smothered over your neck to cover just a few hickies, though they’d remain visible to a trained eye.
She bends down to slip one of your nipples into her mouth, suckling and drooling as you let out soft whimpers of approval. You bring a hand to grip the edge of the table whilst the other snakes up to the back of her head, beneath her long braid so you can tug at the roots of her hair. Each time your fingernails scratch at her scalp, she lets out a quiet moan, sending the most intoxicating vibrations right between your legs. From this new position, Abby can feel the growing warmth pressed against her abdomen, even more so when you subconsciously roll your hips into her. You’d do anything for some friction, and you already know that she’d let you.
After a few moments, you use the leverage you have on her head to pull her off of your chest, making her look up at you with those wanting eyes of hers. “Get down,” you hum, pulling her down by the hair so that her cheek is pressed into your thigh. “It’s like I told you yesterday– you know what I want.”
Now it’s Abby’s turn to find herself lost for words. Maybe it’s the way you’re looking down at her, or maybe the fact that she can already smell you and it’s making her mouth water.
Her hands drag down your waist until they find the waistband of your shorts, hooking her fingers into it so she can pull them down. Too slowly for your taste, but you’d never blame somebody for wanting to take their time with you. Your raise your hips from the table so that she can finally pull the last piece of clothing from your body, letting it fall past your ankles as she gets down onto her knees. “Oh, fuck me,” she mumbles mostly to herself.
She’d never need another confidence boost after this. Abby’s been in your apartment for maybe ten minutes, and you’re already soaked down to your thighs.
As a cue for her to get a move on, you lay your right leg onto her shoulder and tighten your grip in her hair. It’s a wordless gesture that tells her everything she needs to know.
The moan that leaves your mouth when she finally dives in is nothing less than pathetic.
What she lacks in experience, she makes up for in enthusiasm. She tries to recall what makes her feel good; tracing certain shapes with her tongue, licking you up and down until you’re practically gushing into her mouth. She swallows every last drop as she eats you like a woman starved.
Her hands grab onto your thighs, keeping them closed around her head. She’d never admit it, of course, but the way you tremble beneath her hands only riles her up more. Her lips wrap around your clit and she whimpers when she feels all ten of your fingers grab onto her hair, keeping her trapped right there despite the fact that she could easily break free if she wanted to. You revel in that power– knowing just how strong she is, knowing that she chooses to let you be stronger.
The heels of your feet dig into her shoulder blades as her strong hands do their best to hold you in place. Sparks of pleasure catch fire in your belly, the first tell that you aren’t going to last long. “Slow down,” you cry, but the sound of your voice all needy and soft just sends Abby into overdrive.
Her tongue attacks your clit, overwhelming you with the focused stimulation, causing your back to arch closer to her. Your head falls back as your eyes shut tightly, mindlessly whimpering and whining. She can feel your muscles tensing, trembling, like you don’t quite know what to do with yourself, and finds herself wondering how many other girls have had you in this same position. How many other girls have thought they’re the only one to make you feel this good, to make you bend to their every whim like this.
In your mind, though, you can only think of one thing; this odd feeling that Abby has awakened inside of you. A desire to be savored rather than devoured. She licks you up like you’re the last drop of water on Earth and you can’t even find it in yourself to mock her for it. There’s another feeling, a more physical one, quickly approaching. Embarrassingly quick, might you add.
Your hips jerk when you feel one of Abby’s fingers gently slip into you, exploring your warm, soft walls that clench around her so graciously. The arch in your back makes it easier to find that gummy spot which she wastes no time stroking with the rough pad of her finger. “How– f-fuck, how do you know all this?” You whine.
“Read some articles,” she mumbles right into you, sending waves of pleasure up your spine.
You let out a short-lived laugh at the thought of Abby fucking Anderson doing research on how to pleasure you properly. You can’t imagine any of her boyfriends had shown her how to take care of a woman, though, so it was only a matter of time– if it wasn’t for you, it would most likely be for herself. “Good girl,” you sigh, “I’m so close… oh, shit.”
The praise makes Abby moan into you as her dark blue eyes look up from between your legs to appreciate the sight. Your thighs are pressing against her rosy cheeks no matter how hard she tries to keep them open, your eyes struggling to stay open, your chest heaving up and down as you try (and fail) to preserve some stability in your breath.
Finally, that feeling in your belly reaches its peak when a second finger joins the first. Your head falls back and you put a hand over your mouth to muffle a quiet scream.
You make a point of not telling her, or even asking for permission, seeing as your trust had already been destroyed by her in this department the night before.
She seems to be in a very different mood tonight, though, because she doesn’t let up even after the tremors had stopped and the pleasure turns to pain; the good kind, where it’s all too much and there’s nothing you can do about it. You press your heel into her shoulder, pushing against the muscle there so she’d finally detach from you. A small gasp leaves your lips when she slowly pulls out her pruned fingers and looks up at you. The lower half of her face is completely covered in your cum, a sight you’re sure will be forever etched into your mind. How could you go back to normal after this? How could you pretend that anyone else compares?
You grab her jaw and bring her back up to your level, messily smashing your lips to hers as you hold onto her shoulder with your other hand. Much to her dismay, though, you’re quick to pull back.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’ve done that before, Anderson.” You say, albeit breathless.
“If you knew any better, you wouldn’t have let me do that.” She replies. You laugh, but you know she’s right, and you know she’s serious.
“But you liked it,” you implore, clearly searching for some sort of validation, which she quickly grants you in the form of a toothy smile; a genuine one that she just can’t wipe away.
“Maybe. How long do we have until your roommate gets back?” Her clammy hands come down to your waist, kneading the fat of your hips.
You raise an eyebrow. “Long enough. Why? You want a taste of your own medicine?”
The question is enough to visibly light up her eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I do,” she confirms with a shy voice like she didn’t just give you the best orgasm of your life in under fifteen minutes. She’s sure her boxers are soaked right through the fabric, and honestly, she’s starting to think only you could bring the release she craves.
“Say no less. You gotta carry me, though,” you huff as you wrap your trembling thighs around her waist. “I can’t feel my legs.”
556 notes · View notes
ponyosmom35 · 4 months
Text
he's gone
Simon Ghost Riley x reader
synopsis: reader finds out that Simon passed when Price, Johnny, and Gaz show up at her house.
warnings: angst, death, PTSD, panic attack, crying, I'm so sorry
Link to master list:
https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share
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She holds her hose tightly in her hand as she sprays her blooming flowers with water. The sun was beginning to set and she felt at peace. Allowing her mind to wash away the stress of the day. The sunlight hits her face and she sighs, imaging that somewhere in the world, Simon was looking at the same beautiful sky. She recalled their conversation earlier that day, a small smile coming to her lips as she remembered his voice. 
She stood in the kitchen, intensely focused on her measuring cup as she attempted to fill it with the correct amount of water. She turns off the water after allowing it to reach ⅓ and carefully moves over to her mixing bowl. She dumps the water in and moves the mixer down, flipping the switch and watching as her kitchen aid whips the cake mix together. The loud noise drowns out the sound of her phone ringing and she carries on. A few minutes later she finishes putting the batter into a pan and throws it into the oven, hoping that a lemon cake would distract her from how much she missed Simon. She looks down at her small ragdoll kitten who plays with her feet and laughs, she picks him up and kisses his little face gently. Still deciding how she was gonna come clean about adopting a pet without permission. 
It had been two weeks since he’d gone. So far she’d been doing better than she expected, managing to keep herself quite busy all day. It was the nights that were the hardest. She struggled to sleep without him. She tried to pretend like her body pillow was the same, but nothing could beat the feeling of his arms wrapped around her. When she came across a post about the little guy needing a home, she volunteered without a second thought. 
He was quite good about calling, he would try to call every other day when in between missions. But as they got new intel he wouldn’t be able to reach out for several days at a time. This week she had not heard from him once. She knew he was going on their first mission.  She worried about him, she knew that he could handle himself, better than anyone in the world. 
She picks up her phone to set a timer when she realizes she’d missed his call. Her heart drops and she calls him back instantly. 
“Si?” she asks anxiously 
“Hi my love” 
“Oh thank god, I thought something may have happened. I’m so sorry I didn’t hear my phone I was baking and it was on silent” 
“Don’t worry about it, I don’t expect you to pick up every time I call”
“Of course I will” she says 
“How are you doing darling?”
“I’m doing good, I decided to bake a cake for whatever reason” she says staring at the mess of flower and egg shells on the counter.
Simon chuckles and leans back in his chair as he imagines her in the kitchen trying to bake. Tears fill his eyes and he attempts to keep his voice steady.
“Is my kitchen still standing?” he asks
“The kitchen smells wonderful thank you very much” she responds 
“What have you been up to this week? Catch me up” 
“I wanna talk about you, where have you been the past week? Are you any closer to coming home? How are you doing? How are the boys?” she says rapid firing her questions 
“We’re all good. But I don’t wanna talk about work, tell me about you distract me” 
She nods to herself, understanding that he didn’t want to talk about it, meaning that their mission didn’t go as planned. “What do you want me to talk about?”
“just talk to me baby, anything” 
“Well it’s been pretty gloomy today so I started reading a new book, it’s about grief. I’ve only read a few chapters but so far it’s been very reassuring and comforting to know that grief isn’t linear, you go through ups and downs just like anything else”
“That sounds wonderful love” 
“Yeah, so I’m gonna try and read for a few minutes everyday. Kylie and I have started a jazzercise class, you should see how awful I am. I can’t look at myself in the mirror because in my mind I’m absolutely killing it, but then I look at the mirror and it looks like i’m half dead” she laughs 
“I’d pay anything to see it” 
“Don’t worry, when you come home you’re gonna get a full performance” she promises, causing him to laugh. The lump in his throat is tightening as the tears fall down his cheeks. He runs his hands through his hair and covers the speaker as he sniffles. 
“I’m counting down the minutes” 
“Me too” she muses “so I think we should get a cat” 
“What?” he asks
“Let me rephrase that, I brought home a kitten last week”
“Did you now?” he chuckles 
“Before you freak out, he’s so cute and cuddly, he was abandoned and my friend found him but she couldn't take care of him, I just had to bring him home!” she defends herself 
“I’m not mad love, I’m glad you’ve got someone to keep you company. What's his name?”
“Junie”
“Why Junie?” 
“Because june is the month we met” she admits 
Simon puts the phone down and covers his face. His heart was crushing at her words. He receives a knock on the door, he wipes his eyes and picks the phone back up. “I love it”
“We’re about an hour out from departure, so I’m gonna have to let you go” he says slipping his mask over his face.
“Okay, please be safe”
“I love you more than anything in this world, take care of yourself okay?” 
“Of course Si, I love you too, call me as soon as you can”
“goodbye love” he says before hanging up the phone. 
She noticed his odd behavior that morning, but decided to let it go to prevent any unnecessary anxiety. She finishes watering the plants and turns off the hose. She walks to the steps and heads inside. She shuts the door, making sure to lock the door as well as placing the wood down to prevent it from being opened easily. She slips off her shoes and smiles at the sight of Junie sitting on the counter. She picks him up and holds him close. The sound of a knock at the door catches her attention. She wasn’t aware of any company. She walks over to the door and opens it to see John, Kyle, and Johnny. Her eyes travel to the British flag held in John’s hands and her smile falls.  
“John?” she asks as her brain struggles to process the situation. 
“y/n-”
“Don’t you dare” she warns holding her hand up to stop him “don’t” 
“He’s gone lass” Johnny says, his teary eyes meeting her own. She shakes her head and glares at him. 
“I just talked to him this morning” she refuses 
“Mission was local, went south and we barely got out. We came here as soon as we could” 
“What happened to him?” she asks, crossing her arms, clearly still in shock from the news.
“Can we come in?” John asks, she nods and leads them into the living room where they sit and she remains standing. 
“Tell me john” 
“Why don’t you sit down” he responds 
“I want to know what happened!” she demands 
“He was hit” Kyle says 
“Where?” she asks, Price shakes his head and stands up, moving over to her and placing the flag in her hands. She notices the tags placed neatly in the center of it and she reads his printed name. She looks up at him as tears fill her eyes. 
“He’s not gone, I just talked to him today! He was telling me not to burn the kitchen down -” she cuts herself off with a sob, and holds her hand to her mouth. “We’re getting married in four months”
“I’m so sorry for your loss, I-I wish I could’ve saved him” Price says gently
“Please don’t say that” she begs
“Is there anyone we can call for you?” he asks gently 
“Stop this john I can’t - I can’t” she says setting his things down on the table as she looks out of the window. Tears stream down her face as she attempts to control her breathing. 
“These are for you” Johnny says, handing her a bundle of letters, each of them addressed to her. There is a small box on the top of the pile. 
Her vision blurs at the sight of his handwriting. Her body becomes weak as two words loop in her mind. Her body falls to the floor as the voices of the three men fade away. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. The man she loved with every fiber of her being. Her Simon. Simon who nearly killed the person who disrespected her. Simon who held her when her sister died. Simon who saved her life. Simon, who built her a bookshelf, redid her entire deck and porch. Never again would he give her one of his bear hugs. She wouldn’t hear his beautiful laugh, or watch the way he separated his food to keep it from touching. No more early morning cuddles, kisses, silly arguments. How would she live without him? What she wouldn’t have given to hear his deep voice in that moment, telling her that it was going to be okay. He couldn't. He was gone. 
She was inconsolable, her heart wrenching sobs echoed through the house. Bringing tears to the eyes of the soldiers surrounding her. Johnny was at her side, holding her shaking body, trying his best to bring her even the smallest bit of comfort. He felt sick to his stomach watching her writhe in pain. 
John had called her parents and the trio waitied with her until they arrived. As soon as John opened the door, they recognized him from the day he brought the news about Emma. Her mother gasps and hurries into the house, seeing her daughter crumpled on the ground, agonizing sobs erupting from her lungs. She drops beside her and rubs her back. Her father shakes Johns hand and walks the soldiers to the door. John pulls him outside and informs him the the truth. 
“Sir, we need you to understand that the work we do is classified, in the eyes of the Government we do not exist unless we’re needed. With a job like this, comes sacrifices we have to make to protect the people we love”
“I’m not following? What sacrifices?” her father says, crossing his arms 
“If one of the people we’re investigating finds any bit of information about out lives or our loved ones then they’d be in danger”
“Are you telling me that my family isn’t safe?” 
“Officially I can’t tell you anything, but you need to know that we’re taking care of the situation, you’re family will be under 24/7 surveillance. You won’t even know they’re around” 
“Is it true then? Is Simon really gone? Man to man, is he gone?” her father asks, staring at Price. 
“For now” he responds “it’s imperative that y/n believes this”
“You’re asking me to lie to my daughter? Do you hear her in there? How can I-”
“Sacrifices, we all have to make them in order to keep our family safe. That’s all we’re doing here” Price shakes his hand and walks down the steps “take care of her, we’ll be checking in”
-
After hours of tossing and turning, crying until her lungs and throat burned she finally decides to get out of the warmth of her bed. A place she used to feel the most comfortable, now was empty. She rubs her hands over her face as her headache grows more intense, the lack of sleep already affecting her. Having woken up multiple times from nightmares, she willed herself to stay awake, to protect her fragile heart from the horror of her dreams. Everyday for the past week she’d been reminding herself that dreams are simply just a reflection of the mind, a way for her worries and fears to be shown. It wasn’t real. He wasn’t gone. This couldn’t be true. Simon wouldn't leave her. 
She moves into the bathroom and stares at herself in the mirror, she looks exhausted. The weight of Simon’s absence is evident on her face. Her face was puffy and her hair was tangled. A mixture of tears, saliva, and mucus coated her face. She wipes it off and sighs. Her lips trembling once more as her eyes fill with tears. She grips onto her hair as she tries to breath through her fourth panic attack in 24 hours. Memories of his hands running through her hair flash through her mind. A wave of nausea runs through her and she stares at it in disgust. He always loved her hair, he’d play with it absentmindedly. She was angry. How as she supposed to live with the hair he would kiss every morning, the hair he gripped when he kissed her passionately. She notices the scissors on the counter and grabs them, without hesitation she begins to cut strips of her hair off. She watches as her gorgeous strands fall, some in the sink, others landing on the ground. She sobs as she ruins her hair, unable to stop herself. After several minutes, she drops the scissors and stares at herself, the jagged strands unbalanced. She rushes to the toilet in a split second and empties her stomach violently. 
The sound causes her mother to rush into her room, she bursts through the door and spots her daughter laying against the toilet surrounded by her precious locks. “Oh honey”
-
please forgive me for this! omg I made myself cry. below is the link to when they reunite, I posted this a few months ago. If you wanna read that now, you are more than welcome I'll link it below, however there will be a few filler chapters in-between that I'll be posting!!!
You’re alive? (middle of MW3)
https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/724654294153003008/youre-alive?source=share
love you all <3
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sleepyhutcherson · 2 months
Text
always here.
mike is surprised to see you on his doorstep in the middle of the night but doesn’t think twice about letting you in, especially once he sees the state you’re in.
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pairing: mike schmidt x gn!reader
word count: 0.6k words
contains: (request) comfort, established relationship, no use of y/n, reader is sleepy and has had a rough night, mention of abby, “i didn’t know where else to go” kinda thing and that’s it.
a/n: sorry this was so short anon!! but i LOVED your request so much :3 thank you for sending it in <3 hope u enjoy it :)
You don’t have to knock for too long before Mike is opening the door, his other hand rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Hey, what’re you—“ he notices the clear distress on your face then and immediately he’s concerned.
“Can I stay here? I’m sorry, I had nowhere else to go and—“ you stammer over your words, an exasperated breath following. You forced yourself to breathe, you had to force yourself to breathe. To remember how to breathe.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, don’t worry. Come in.” He lets you in, closing the door behind you. You’re quickly embraced by him the moment the door is shut, and you do everything in your power to remain upright though Mike’s warmth is so comforting you could drown yourself in it.
A dim light hugs the two of you, Mike’s hands creating circular motions around your back soothingly. It’s quiet, oddly quiet—but it is midnight, so it’s not out of the ordinary. You’re never here around this time, and if you are you’re always tucked in beside Mike in his bed. But here? By the front door where the house is still at this time, no sound of Abby’s giggles or Mike’s soft and rare laugh. You don’t know why the thought alone forces more tears to well up in your eyes. Clearly you were extra sensitive tonight.
Mike can feel the way your body struggles, how you’re shaking slightly trying—struggling to hold back your tears. He pulls you back to properly look at you, his hands firmly on your arms to keep you up. You looked exhausted and Mike knew you all too well; you weren’t ready to talk just yet. “Wanna go to bed?”
You weren’t sure how Mike did it, how he always knew what you wanted, what you needed. You nod tiredly and start taking off your coat but Mike rushes to help you, hanging your coat with rest. He pulls out one of the dining chairs, “sit,” he gently instructs and instantly you follow his orders. He kneels down in front of you to help you with your shoes, slowly untying each shoelace, then carefully pulling them off. He stands up and neatly sets your pair along with the rest.
He looks at you then, frowning a little at how sleep deprived you looked and how sad you seemed. He’ll give you space but he would be lying if he said it didn’t worry him what could have you in such a state. He leans down to kiss your forehead before standing you up and leading you to his room. You’re both careful not to make too much noise since Abby was sleeping. He helps you into bed, handling you so carefully like if you were made out of glass. He crawls into his side of the bed, immediately scooping you up, your face tucking into the crook of his neck. You can feel his stubble on your skin, it tickles you just a little but it’s surprisingly comforting.
He continues to draw meaningless patterns on your back all while planting soft kisses on top of your head. “I’m here,” he mumbles, and you press up against him even more. He chuckles softly at your action, kissing you again, only holding you tighter. “I’m always here.” His voice is so groggy with sleep but his words are meaningful.
A few minutes pass and he knows you're asleep, soft snores coming from you, and Mike smiles happily that you’re peacefully asleep now. He loves you, he always has. He adores you like this, he adores you in every state, but right now he has you altogether, pressed up against him. He can feel himself slowly passing out, his eyes fluttering, he kisses your forehead one last time; “‘m always here.” He mumbles to you, eyes shutting completely, dozing off to the sound of you breathing.
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whatsnewalycat · 1 month
Text
Designated Person | 9
Pairing: Francisco “Catfish” Morales x F!Reader
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Chapter 9: Where The Wild Things Are
Rating: Explicit (18+ only)
Word Count: 8.6k+
Tags / Warnings: alternating pov, infidelity, past romantic & sexual relationship, angst, food mention, jealousy, alcohol & alcoholism, lying, conflict avoidance, crying, internal conflict, birthday party, a low-key dudes rule moment (bros! bros! bros!), tried my hardest hardest with Spanish but I am a white girl I’m sorry if its wrong pls let me know, a lot of dialogue like so much dialogue fuck, children, toxic relationships just bad all around
Notes: WELL HI, long time no see! I know it’s been over 6 months since I’ve updated. I went on a warpath with another series (Psychomanteum—it’s finished if you wanna check it out). But I’m back to force these two dummies to walk through hellfire 💘
[ Previous Chapter ][ Series Masterlist ]
———————————————————————————
Nothing seems right. 
For what has to be the hundredth time, you sift through the sparse collection of t-shirts and dresses hanging in your closet. Each time you push a hanger aside to consider a potential outfit, your brain falls into the same pattern. 
First, you wonder if Frankie would like it. Granted, if you showed up wearing a cardboard box he’d still want to fuck you. 
You want him to like it more than that, though. 
You want him to see you and get all weak in the knees. You want him to look at you in that way he does sometimes. That soft, magnetic look that tugs at every part of you. The one that argues against logic and speaks to intuition instead. That can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of look. 
After considering this entirely reasonable and attainable goal, you picture yourself wearing the clothes through Angie’s eyes. 
You dissect each potential outfit as she would. This dress too low cut, that one too frumpy, the other too short. A critical chorus of slut slut slut plays in the back of your head, accented by the memory of her manicured hands wrapped around your throat, the growl she let out when she squeezed around your windpipe. 
“You little slut, I will fucking kill you.”
Throughout this whirlwind of turmoil, snippets from this morning rise to the surface and drown out everything else. 
Frankie’s lips on yours, hungry and certain. His strong hands on your body, digging into your skin. The way he talked to you, voice low and strained—Whose pussy is this?
Every time these words repeat, your heart hammers in your chest. Tingles trickle out from between your legs and work up your spine.
The time before this, right after he moved in, when you fucked on the couch… you felt dirty afterwards. It sent you into a spiral of self-guilt that gnawed away at you for days. It reminded you of how sex was towards the end last time. Like you could have been anyone. Like he needed something to make him feel alive, and you were just the most ready and willing participant. 
But it felt different this time. 
Intimate in a way it hasn’t been in so long. It felt like an act of something bigger and stronger, like he needed you specifically. Not the rush of endorphins. Not just the heat of another person. Not a substitute for the love his wife wouldn’t give him. It felt like he needed you and nothing else would sate him. 
“I won’t do that to you again, mariposa, I promise. I’ll fix it, I promise I’ll fix it, ok?” 
Right about here is when indecision ties your brain off in a knot that seizes the production of valuable output. 
Then you return to yourself, staring into the closet like it’s fucking Narnia, and slide the hanger aside to do it all over again. 
Frankie collapses into a patio chair with a groan, running a hand through his sweat-soaked hair before replacing his cap, then tilts his head up towards the blazing sun and closes his eyes. 
When he trekked through the Andes with his team, there were nights where he felt the cold so deep in his bones, he wondered if he would ever be able to get warm again. 
Right now is the opposite of that. 
Right now he would give up fistfuls of cash to feel that bone-deep freeze. 
He casts a longing glance at the cooler and fantasizes about drinking a cold beer. That psssch-ahsound it would make when he opened the tab. He imagines the condensation cooling his heated skin and the alcohol calming his fried nerves. 
Fuck, that sounds perfect. 
Through the open window to the dining room, he can hear Angie and her sister Marta gossiping to each other, talking about how so-and-so is dating what’s his face again and blah blah blah. His ears perk up when Marta segues into their personal life. 
“Speaking of people getting back together… How are things with you and Frankie?” 
Angie doesn’t say anything, but must make a face at her sister because she follows the question up by giggling, “What, can I not ask?” 
“Ay, Marta. No seas metiche.” 
A beat of silence passes. Marta must non-verbally pry, because Angie speaks again, quieter this time. 
“We’ll see.” Then quickly, almost defensively, she adds, “He’s getting his act together, you know. He quit drinking, and he’s doing this parole program. It seems like… it seems like he’s trying.” 
“Mmm. Is he still living with that girl? Su amante?”
Frankie knows Angie well enough to know she rolls her eyes in response. 
Marta tsks, but any further conversation is cut off by a sudden commotion of squealing and bickering.
He looks down at his watch, reading 1240, and guesses that Angie’s friend Carmen arrived with her five children. 
His eyes clamp shut and he fantasizes about drinking a beer. Maybe three. Hell, make it ten. Ten would do just fine. Ten would anesthetize him just enough to let him clear his head and make this whole ordeal manageable. 
“Just get through today,” he tells himself, “Just one more goddamn day, then you can be done with this fucking charade.” 
The backdoor opens, releasing a burst of chaotic noise. Angie and Carmen step out, and he stands at attention. 
“Oh wow, look at all this,” Carmen tells Angie, “Damn girl, you really went all out, didn’t you?” 
“We don’t really know what the situation will be next year, with Frankie and everything,” Angie’s eyes flick to him, and she shrugs, “So I figured, make it memorable. For all of us.” 
“Sure,” Carmen nods, concern creasing her brow, then she acknowledges Frankie with a quick head-to-toe scan, “Francisco, how’re you doing?” 
“Better than I deserve,” he smirks, and gestures to the gift bag hanging off her wrist, “Let me take that for you. Want anything to drink?”
She hands off the present and glances at Angie, then back to Frankie, “Can I get a beer?” 
“Sure,” he nods to Angie, “How about you, amor?”
“I’ll take a beer, too.” 
“Two beers coming up,” Frankie calls behind him while descending the stairs. 
As he walks to the 10’ x 20’ white canopy tent, he tries to eavesdrop, but the two women talk to each other in hushed tones. He has no doubt it’s about him, though, because he hears Carmen exclaim, “Oh shit, really?” then, quieter but still distinguishable, “Good for you, mamá.” 
After dropping the gift bag on the designated table, Frankie goes to the cooler to grab two cans of beer and a bottle of water, then returns to the deck, where Angie and Carmen both lean against the railing. They both murmur a thanks when he hands them their drinks. 
He rubs between her shoulder blades, “Need anything else?”
“A fucking Xanax,” she jokes while cracking her beer open. He watches foam bubble up from the mouth of the can and his pulse surges green with envy. She takes a long sip, then sighs, “Mmm let’s see. Food is done, Mamá and Marta are bringing everything out. Your mom should be here with the cake any minute. You got everything set up in the tent?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Alright, well,” she takes another swig and shrugs, “Wanna get the slip ‘n’ slide going? We can get the kiddos changed into their suits.” 
“You got it.”
He starts away, but she grabs his shirt to stop him.
When he turns back to her, eyebrows raised in question, her golden brown eyes meet his, then drop to his lips, “Thank you.”
His hand finds her waist and he nods, “Not a problem.”
She kisses him, and he kisses her back, thinking of you—always fucking thinking of you— as he tells himself: One more day.
Leah picks up on the second ring. 
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Tell me I shouldn’t go to this party.” 
She releases a big sigh that makes you grimace, then says, “Tell me you’re not actually thinking of going.” 
You glance up at the Morales residence through your windshield, sinking down into your seat when you spot Benny, Will, and Dani making their way up the driveway. 
“I’m outside in my car.” 
Leah is quiet for a moment before she asks, “Do you want to go?” 
“Yes and no,” you watch the Millers open the door and go inside the house, “I want to see Sarah, and I wanna be there for Frankie, just because… I don’t know, everything, but…” 
“But Angie?”
You nod, casting your eyes down to your hands to pick at the frayed cuticles, “I’m afraid she’s going to say something or do something to retaliate against me.” 
“You did have an affair with her husband—”
“I’m well aware,” you snip. 
The silence that follows wrings guilt from your stomach. A burning sensation works up your throat behind your eyes, so you pinch them shut and hang your head. 
“Fuck, sorry. You’re right. She has every right to despise me. I deserve it. I shouldn’t go, it’s stupid.” 
Your words come out all pathetic and warbled by tears, but you continue anyway. 
“I feel so torn. I care about them a lot and I wanna be there. I want it to be better so that… fuck. I don’t know. Nevermind.” 
“Why do you want it to be better?” 
“It’s stupid.” 
“No, I want you to tell me.” 
You take a deep, shaky breath, tilting your head up towards the drooping ceiling of your car. The answer pulses through your body and tingles on the tip of your tongue. If you speak it you might shatter to dust. 
Instead, you offer up a consolation prize to distract her. 
“I did something I shouldn’t have,” you whisper, then swing your head down to stare at your steering wheel, “I… had sex with him.” 
Leah snorts, “I fucking knew it.” 
“Shut up, you did not,” you scoff, “It just happened this morning.” 
“Rach owes me $10.” 
“You bet that—God, you are the worst.” 
You hang up on her, then stare at your phone for a few seconds before sending a text to Frankie. 
< ME:  < Are you sure I should come? I feel nervous
A few unresponsive seconds go by before you flip the visor down to inspect your reflection in the mirror. Not terrible. Some black smudges around your eyes. Could use some lipstick. 
You remedy these problems while trying not to think too hard about what you’re about to do, lying to yourself in hopes that you can somehow warp the truth. 
This will be fine.
By the time Frankie gets the hose hooked up to the slip ‘n’ slide, his mother- and sister-in-law are setting the last few food items out on the long folding table under the tent. 
Two of Carmen’s sons dash across the deck in their swimsuits. As he passes them on the stairs, he ruffles the older one’s scraggly dark brown hair, calling after them, “Soda and water in the cooler if you boys are thirsty.” 
They holler an acknowledgment as Frankie makes his way inside. 
The relief of stepping into cool, conditioned air quickly dissipates as the commotion hits him. 
At least a dozen conversations meld together in this wall of indistinguishable sound. He can’t quite focus on any of the vaguely familiar faces or isolate one single voice from the warble of people talking. 
A heavy, frantic pounding starts in his chest. His hands start to tingle. Noises disappear completely for a second, replaced by a high-pitched ringing in his ears. 
Jesus fucking Christ, I’m losing it.
He pulls a chair out from the dining room table and sits down, praying nobody notices him clench his eyes closed to inhale a deep, wide breath. 
Then another. 
Then another. 
Everything starts to come back into focus, and he tunes into someone asking, “Fish, you ok?” 
He startles when a broad palm settles between his shoulder blades. Looking towards the source, he finds Will’s dusty blue eyes studying him with concern. 
“Shit,” Frankie mutters, running a hand over his face before he clearing his throat and standing, “Sorry, yeah. Think I got too much heat or something.” He gives his friend a quick, one-armed hug, “Good to see you, man.” 
When Will parts ways with Frankie, he gives him a look that says he doesn’t buy it for a second, but doesn’t push the subject. 
His wife, Dani, approaches with a cautious smile, “Frankie, good to see you.” 
“Good to see you, too” Frankie gives her a hug, “Thanks for coming.” They separate and he asks Will, “Benny here yet?” 
“Yeah,” he smirks, jerking his head towards the living room, “Shooting the shit with your mom.” 
“Figures,” Frankie chuckles and shakes his head, “I gotta go make my rounds, but, uhh,” he gestures from the gift box in the crook of Will’s arm to the back door, “There’s a gift table outside. Food and drinks and all that, help yourselves.” 
“Catch up later, yeah?” Will nods. 
Frankie mirrors the action as a few waist-high kids race past, budging in front of them when Will opens the door. 
He notices a cluster of aimless partygoers lingering between the dining and living room, and starts directing the halted human traffic out to the backyard. It prods them into action, thinning out the crowded common area as he makes his way to the couch, where he finds his mom sitting with Sarah in her lap and Benny at her side. Benny says something to Sarah that makes her and her grandmother giggle. 
“Is this guy bothering you?” Frankie asks, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face. 
“Francisco!”  
She passes Sarah to Benny and struggles to get to her feet. 
“Christ, mamá, let me help you” he mutters while taking her well-worn hands in his to pull her upright. 
She’s always been a woman of small stature, barely measuring up to his shoulders once the growth spurts petered out and left him as tall as he’d always be. But each time he sees her, she seems to have shrunk a little bit more. 
As soon as she steadies herself, she kisses his cheek, then pulls him down into a surprisingly tight embrace, telling him, “I missed you so much, mijo.”
“Missed you too, Ma.”
She pulls back from the hug, but holds onto his arms to look him over, “How have you been?” 
“Fine,” he nods, looking away when her keen dark eyes narrow, “What about you, hmm? How was the drive?”
“Bien bien,” she waves off his questions and takes a step back to smile at the birthday girl, “She’s getting so big, Pancho. Such a pretty dress.” 
Sarah grabs at the puffy hem of her skirt and giggles at the attention. 
Frankie snorts in admiration at his daughter, then asks her, “You wanna go see your party, princesa?” 
“Yes!” 
He looks at Benny, “I gotta see if Ang needs me to do anything, do you wanna…?”
“Escort these lovey ladies?” Benny winks at Julieta, “Shit, I’d love to.”
“Jesus Christ,” Frankie mutters, then tells Sarah, “Go with Uncle Benny, I’ll be there in a minute, ok?” 
She jumps off Benny’s lap and runs to the back door, leveraging her weight against the knob. It swings open and she escapes, sending Benny chasing after her, laughing, “Hey, wait up!”
Julieta starts after them just as Sarah’s bedroom door opens, and two little girls come charging towards the back door. Carmen and Angie trail behind, the former carrying a baby tucked into her side, the latter looking around with a puzzled expression pasted to her face. 
“Everyone outside?” Angie asks her husband, slowing to a stop a few feet away from him while Carmen continues outside. 
“Yeah. I, uhh, got the slip ‘n’ slide set up, all the food is out—anything else you need me to do?” 
“Is your girl here?” 
She smirks and tilts her head at him, like she’s joking or teasing, but the humor doesn’t reach her eyes. 
His skittish heart skips in his chest. 
Sensing a trap, Frankie searches her face and shakes his head like he doesn’t understand. 
Angie raises an eyebrow at him, “Don’t act like you don’t know who I’m talking about.”
So fucking sick of this. 
“Whatever,” he blinks, “No. I haven’t seen her yet. Anything else?”
The forced amusement immediately drops from her face and she stomps outside, slamming the door closed behind her. 
He takes a deep breath, pulling his hat up to run a hand through his hair, then glances at his watch. 
1308
He shakes some of the nervous energy from his fingertips and starts to pace the living room. 
What if you decided not to come?
Honestly, it would make today much easier. He could just go out there and play his role. Put on his mask and blame his disposition on the ongoing legal battle. His mother, wife, and friends, they’d be none the wiser. 
Something inside him lurches at the thought. 
Suddenly and very clearly, he understands that if you don’t show, nothing will change. He will drive this ship into the ground. 
As if on cue, the doorbell rings. 
He jogs down the steps, swings the door open, and there you are, wearing a pretty floral sundress and a nervous smile. 
“Hey,” he backs up to allow you entry.  
“Hi,” your smile grows wider, and you step past him as you enter the house, “Long time no see.”At the foot of the stairs, you turn to face him, “Where’s the party?” 
“Backyard.”
“Oh.” 
When you glance down at his mouth, one hundred butterflies start chittering away at his stomach. He licks his lips and notices himself gravitating towards you. It doesn’t help that you’re doing it, too. The subtle way your body bows in his direction, inching so close he can smell the bright burst of your perfume and the damp musk of your sweat. 
“Is everyone out there?”
“Pretty sure,” his eyes flick to the vacant upstairs, then back to you, “Why?” 
Just an inch away, you clamp a grin closed and shrug, “No reason.”
“Uh huh,” he raises an eyebrow, daring to rest his hand on your waist. The contact floods his body with a hot, thudding pulse he can taste. 
Searching his face, you slide your palm over his heart. Beneath your touch, the muscle pounds at its seams. 
Against his better judgment, he leans in to capture your lips in his. Warmth spreads out from his chest through his limbs. You hook a hand behind his neck and pull him closer, your body curving flush against his. 
Only hours have gone by since he last saw you, but it feels like months. It’s like that with you. Timeless when you’re together and an eternity when you’re apart. 
Pulling back, you look at the floor and shake your head, “Sorry.”
“For what?” 
“We shouldn’t, umm,” you swallow hard, shaking your head again as you glance upstairs, “Here, now, you know…” 
He glances at the back door, “You’re right. We should get to the party.“
“Yeah,” you take a big step back and clear your lungs with a deep breath, then hold up your gift bag, “Where should I put this?” 
“Right this way—” 
“Wait, look at me,” you chuckle, tugging at his hand. 
He faces you, asking, “What?” 
You cup his cheek and lick the pad of your thumb, bringing it to his bottom lip, “Lipstick.”
Your brow furrows in concentration, tongue poking out the corner of your mouth as you scrub off the evidence. 
It’s kind of adorable, the way in which you do this. Doting, almost. Reminds him of the times Mamá would catch him with a dirty face in public and try to make him more presentable. 
Briefly, he pictures you as the matriarch of a rowdy crew of children. Driving a minivan to school drop-offs and extracurricular activities and family outings. It suits you. 
He can’t stop his lips from curving into a smile. 
“What?” you grin, eyes flicking to his. 
“Nothing,” he murmurs as you tilt his face around and inspect him. “Better?” 
“Better,” you nod, “How about me?” 
He pinches your chin and looks you over, correcting a smudge before telling you, “All clear. You ready?” 
You give a half-hearted shrug, looking around at the ground, then ask, “Your wife isn’t gonna like… yell at me in front of everyone or pelt me with produce, right? This isn’t an elaborate revenge prank?” 
“Is that what all the tomatoes are for? Shit,” he teases, earning a chuckle and an eye roll from you. “No, but really. She agreed to be nice.” 
“Ok,” you nod, “So I’m like allowed to talk to you and everything without worrying she’ll try to murder me?” 
Frankie snorts, “She wouldn’t murder you—” 
“She has literally told me ‘I will fucking kill you.’”
“That was—” he shakes his head, then brings his hands to your shoulders and stares into your eyes, “It’s gonna be fine, mariposa. We’re gonna go bullshit with people and eat some food, and then we’re gonna home and watch a stupid fucking movie. Ok?” 
You laugh, dropping your gaze for a moment before returning with a bashful smile, “Ok.” 
As you make your way down the food table, piling tamales and Spanish rice and fresh fruit on a flimsy paper plate, you feel eyes on the back of your head. Whether it’s just one set or ten, you don’t care to know, but the feeling sends a shiver up your spine. 
When you reach the end of the line, you take a deep breath before turning to find a place to sit. 
Like every other party, the crowd is mostly separated into cliques. 
Parents from around the neighborhood stick together at a few long tables, bribing their children to eat and drink water before returning to the slip-n-slide. At another table sits Angie’s family, including the queen herself, whose pointed stare you gloss over, ignoring her and Frankie at her side. You find some familiar faces at a table near the edge of the big party tent: Benny, Will, and Dani. With them is a small, elderly woman who must be Frankie’s mom or an aunt or something, due to the striking resemblance. 
The whole thing reminds you of choosing a place to sit in your high school cafeteria. Much like you did in those days, you gravitate towards an empty table nearby, but halt when some calls your name. 
 Frowning, you look around to find Benny waving at you. 
“Over here,” he pulls out the chair beside him. 
You approach with a smile, the tension held in your shoulders dissolving just a little as you take the open seat and greet everyone. 
“Thanks. I didn’t know if, umm… it was ok,” you chuckle nervously and drop your eyes to your plate, shaking your head. 
“Oh, come on now, you’re always welcome with us,” Benny grins, leaning back in his chair to reveal the tiny graying woman on the other side of him, “Have you met Frankie’s mom, Julieta?” 
“I have not,” you reach across Benny to shake her hand, “Good to meet you, I’m—” 
She waves you off and pushes her chair out behind her. You half-expect her to furiously walk away at your presence, but instead she wobbles over to you and holds her arms open. 
“I know who you are. Come here, mija.” 
You stand to accept the invitation, stammering out, “Oh—ok—” 
Emotion wells up in your chest when her bony arms squeeze tight around you and she tells you, “Thank you for taking care of my boy.” 
Not sure what to say, you just hug her back for a few long seconds. The embrace says it all. It feels maternal and earnest and brings a few tears to your eyes. When she pulls away and smiles at you, you notice she’s a little misty-eyed, too, and you smile back at her. She gives your cheek a few pats before you both return to your seats. 
“How’ve you been?” Dani asks. 
You contemplate the question long enough for Benny to interject. 
“Well, she’s keeping Fish out of trouble so I’m sure she’s having a hell of a time.” 
You shrug, “It’s nothing compared to some of the toddlers I’ve had to deal with.” 
Your audience chuckles, then awaits a follow up. 
“No, I, umm… I’m doing ok. Going through a breakup, so that’s tough, but… mostly I’m good.”  
Why did I say that?
“A breakup?” Benny leans back and drapes an arm over the back of your chair, “What happened?” 
“Oh, we don’t have to—” you laugh at your plate, stabbing a chunk of watermelon. 
“Come on, give us the dirt,” Benny prods. 
You shove the watermelon in your mouth and wrinkle your nose at him, shaking your head. 
“Let the girl have some privacy,” Dani scolds, “If she doesn’t wanna talk about it, she doesn’t wanna talk about it.” 
“If she didn’t wanna talk about it she wouldn’t’ve mentioned it,” he counters. 
“It’s fine, it wasn’t even a big deal. We were only dating for a few weeks and it wasn’t a good match,” you explain, glancing around the table, “I don’t know why I said it, sorry, I’m just, umm… nervous.” 
You notice Will studying you and hold his meticulous gaze for a moment before dropping your eyes to your plate. He speaks up then, drawing the fire away from you. 
“Hey, that’s alright. Not like Benny has room to criticize,” he gives his brother a lopsided grin, “Remember that girl that tried to stab you?” 
“Not this again,” Benny groans.
“Ok well now you have to tell me,” you say, flashing a grateful smile to Will before nudging Benny, “Come on, give me the dirt.” 
“Well, if you’re gonna twist my arm about it.” He visibly shifts into storytelling mode, sitting up straighter as a glint of mischief sparks in his eyes, “First of all, I had no business dating her to begin with. She had a PT Cruiser with whiskey plates. If that’s not a red flag, I don’t know what is.”
Trying to be a halfway decent host, Frankie makes his way around the party checking in with people, introducing himself to all the unfamiliar faces and making small talk, recycling the same lines. 
Drinks are in the cooler if you’re thirsty. Thanks for coming. I’m doing great, how about you? 
Meanwhile, Ang seems to have taken on his former role as the champion beer drinker of the party. Every time he glances at her she’s either guzzling it down or popping open a new aluminum can. 
When she and Carmen start directing slip ‘n’ slide traffic and seem sufficiently distracted, he walks up to the table where some of his favorite people are seated and takes the open chair next to Will. 
“Look who it is,” Will smirks at him, “We were just talking about you.” 
“Christ, do I wanna know?” he leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. 
“Probably not, I was talking mad shit about you,” you tease, looking at him with a grin that makes his heart swell. 
“Figures you would be,” he shoots back. 
You chuckle and shake your head, “No, actually I was just telling them about how I’m teaching you to cook.” 
“Oh yeah,” he looks around the table, “Did you tell them about the stir-fry?” 
“Ok, you tried with the stir-fry and it was almost edible—” 
“Almost edible?” Benny laughs 
“Somehow the rice was both undercooked and burnt, and the veggies were mush,” you share, sitting up taller when you meet his eyes, “But it could’ve been worse. You’re learning!” 
“I’m just impressed you could get him in the kitchen in the first place,” Benny says, then turns his attention to Julieta, “Mamá, you didn’t make him cook anything growing up?” 
She tsks and waves him off, then explains, “His father wouldn’t let me. He was very traditional, you know, said it was women’s work.“ 
“It’s ok, Ma,” Frankie assures her. 
“I am glad you’re learning now.” A smile stretches across her face, “You must be grateful to have such a good teacher.” 
“I am, really,” he nods and glances at you before admitting, “I’d be a fucking mess without her.” 
Everyone at the table seems to sit with this information in silence for a moment before Will clears his throat and asks, “Are you still working on that car?” 
Frankie leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, “Here and there. Lately it’s just been collecting dust.” 
“Mind if I check it out?” Will inquires, “It’s been, what, a year and a half since I’ve seen it?” 
“Sure,” he frowns, looking over at you and your creased brow as if seeking permission, at which point you give a shrug, then he squints up across the yard and spots Angie talking to her mom and dad. “Let me just tell Ang so she doesn’t lose her shit if she can’t find me.” 
The three men stand from the table. Frankie gives you one more glance before starting off towards his wife. With each step he takes across the grass, he wishes more and more that he could kiss you again. Give you reassurance that you’re doing great in this precarious situation. 
Angie’s father glares at him as he approaches, which isn’t abnormal. Angie follows his line of sight, wobbling a bit as she lays eyes on him. Surprisingly, she smiles, “Hey!” 
“Hey—” 
She throws her arms around his neck and kisses him, the action so unexpected he stumbles back a step. Her lips taste of beer and poor judgment. When he pulls away, he plasters on a fake grin and says, “The guys wanna look at the car, is it ok if I slip away for a few?” 
“You boys and your toys,” she rolls her eyes, “Fine, just be back for presents in a couple minutes, yeah?” 
“Alright,” he searches over her shoulder, “How’s Sarah doing?” 
“Good, good,” she nods, “She’s playing with Carm’s kids in the sandbox.” 
“Make sure she gets some water, I don’t think she drank any with—” 
“She’s fine, Francisco. I’ve got it,” she insists, patting his chest. 
He studies her for a moment, then says, “Ok, I’ll be back in a minute. We’ll be in the garage if you need me.” 
“Give me a kiss,” Angie demands, her long nails scraping at the nape of his neck. He leans in and presses his lips to hers, feeling nothing but irritation and disgust. 
When Frankie and the Miller brothers disappear into the house, so does your social armor, leaving you exposed. 
For a while you make scattered small talk with Julieta and Dani, discussing Sarah and the party and the weather. You watch Sarah play with her friends from a distance, not wanting to disrupt their sand castle building by approaching. Every once in a while, your eyes cheat to Angie. 
A vile, familiar sensation sits heavy in your stomach. 
He warned you that it might be difficult seeing them together, but you forgot how bad it hurts to witness. 
The way she kissed him doesn’t help. Hanging off him, looking at him with bedroom eyes.
It’s not the same this time. He’s different now. 
The foul thing in your belly goes dead weight, making you lurch. 
What if he’s not? 
Before you can spiral too much, you hear, “Chacha!” and realize Sarah is running towards you
“Hi, pumpkin!” you smile and outstretch your arms to catch her as she slams into you. 
“I’m not a pumpkin, I’m just a girl,” she giggles. 
“Are you having fun at your party?” 
She grunts out an “mhmm” while you pull her up onto your lap. Her face is flushed, skin all heated and damp with sweat. 
“You look like you’re hot, do you want some water?” 
“Um. Ok!” she smiles. 
“Ok let me get you—” 
“I got it,” Dani stands and starts towards the cooler. 
You murmur a thanks and return your attention to Sarah, “Thank you for letting me come to your party. I’m having so much fun.” 
She giggles in response, leaning into you. 
“How are you liking daycare? Do you get to play with your friends?” 
She nods. 
Dani returns with a cold water bottle, twisting the cap open before handing it to you. 
“Here you go, sweetie,” you bring the bottle to her lips and slowly tip it back as she takes big gulps of water. Periodically, you pull it away and let her catch her breath, then start again until she pushes it away. 
“Better?” 
“Much better,” she nods. 
“Maybe she should go inside and cool down for a minute?” Dani suggests. 
Julieta leans over to feel her forehead, “Too much sun, hija.” 
“Do you wanna go inside for a minute?” You ask, tucking her hair behind her ears. 
“Chacha will you go with me?” 
“You want me to—oh, um… should we ask your mom…?” You frown at Dani, who grimaces, then Julieta. 
“Just take her,” Julieta insists, “I’ll tell Angelica if she comes looking.” 
“Ok. Ok sure. Let’s go, sweetie.” 
You rise from the chair, sliding Sarah to your hip, then carry her up the stairs into the house. Once inside, you sit on the couch with her for a few seconds before she wriggles away and scampers off down the hallway. 
“Chacha come see my room!” 
“Oh my fucking god,” you whisper under your breath, glancing nervously up at the back door before following her, “Ok, but just for a minute, then we should go back out to the party.” 
“Are you seriously calling him?” Frankie blinks, leaning back against the workbench. 
Will shoots him a look while raising the phone to his ear. 
“Unbelievable. It’s like six o’clock in the morning there, you’re gonna wake—” 
“Hey Pope, I’m gonna put you on speaker.” Will presses a button and sets the phone down next to Frankie, “Now I want Fish to tell you what he just told me and Benny.” 
Gnashing his jaw back and forth, he stares at Will, then Benny. They both watch him expectantly while Santi speaks up, his voice groggy from sleep. 
“Alright, let’s hear it.” 
Frankie clears his throat and rubs his mouth before saying, “I’m gonna ask Ang for a divorce.” 
“Oh shit, ok.”
Will prods Frankie further, “Tell him the other part.” 
“Will you just—Fuck, ok. I’m… seeing someone.” 
On the other line, Santi chuckles a little, “Uh-huh.“ 
“Any guesses on who that might be?” Benny asks. 
“Oh, I have one—” 
“Wait wait wait, let me give you a hint,” Benny grins while scrolling through his phone, pushing off the hood of the car to grandstand, “On June 10–only seven weeks ago, mind you—Fish said about her, and I quote: It’s not like that, we’re only friends. To which you said—” 
“—I said bull-fucking-shit!” Santi finishes, then howls, “That is fucking delicious, thank you.” 
Frankie crosses his arms and shakes his head at Will, “See, this is why I didn’t wanna tell him.” 
“How long?” Santi asks. 
“How long what?”
“How long have you been sleeping with her?”
“It’s… complicated, ok?”
Benny giggles and repeats, “Oh, it’s complicated.”
Santi questions further, “Sure, well, let me ask you this: How long have you been in love with her?” 
“Why does it matter?”
“You do, though, right? You love her?” 
Frankie crosses his arms and glares at the phone, “Yeah.” 
“When did that happen?” 
Heat flares through his veins. He wrings his neck and mutters, “That’s a stupid question.”
“Why’s it stupid?”
“Cuz, Pope, that’s like… that’s like asking how long ago mankind came to exist. Or asking what point a chrysalis becomes a butterfly. I don’t fucking know, man, it just does. I just know that I do, I love her, and I have for… a while.” 
The two men before him are silent, along with the voice on the phone. Frankie, on the other hand, finds momentum in his confession. He continues. 
“And Ang… Jesus Christ, I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve felt like this with her. And the longer I think about it, the more I convince myself I never did. Not this way, like I can’t live without her, you know?” He taps his fingers against his lips, then shrugs, “Maybe I could have at one point, if I tried. But even then… I don’t like who I am when I’m with her. It doesn’t feel right. It’s like I’m wearing someone else’s skin and it doesn’t fit me.” 
He glances up at Benny, then Will. Their faces are somber, but understanding. Benny approaches, leaning on the workbench beside him to rope an arm around his shoulders and give him a supportive squeeze. 
“When are you gonna tell her?” Will asks. 
“Soon. Not today, but this week probably.“
Benny withdraws his touch and crosses his arms in front of his chest, “She’ll go right for the jugular. You know that, right?” 
“I know.” Frankie takes off his cap to run a hand through his hair, then puts it back, “She’s gonna try to take Sarah. Fuck, I’m gonna need another goddamn lawyer, aren’t I?” 
“Can you afford that right now?” Will furrows his brow, studying him, “Be honest.” 
“Probably. Well, maybe. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.” 
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but is now the right time? You’re on parole and looking to add felony charges to your wrap sheet. Not to mention the infidelity. On paper, your custody case is shit.” 
Frankie shakes his head, “If I have to keep living like this… all this lying and pretending… I don’t know, man. I can’t do it anymore. Something inside me is about to break. I can feel it.” 
The Millers exchange a look. 
“I don’t think I’m speaking out of line by saying we all just want what’s best for you, Fish,” the voice over the phone tells him, “We want you to be happy. If you need to get out, get out.” 
Frankie glances up at Will, who nods in confirmation. 
“Thanks. It-it means a lot to me,” he shifts his weight to one leg, looking down at his wristwatch, “We better get back to the party. Talk soon, yeah?” 
“Yeah,” Santi says, “Hang in there, buddy.”
After hanging up the phone, Will gives Frankie a pat on the shoulder, “We’ve got your back.”
As they file out of the garage into the entryway, Angie walks out from the bathroom. When she notices them climbing the steps, she calls, “Hi boys.”
To his credit, Benny puts on a convincing smile and greets her with a high five, “What’s up, Angie?” 
She steps aside to let him pass, then fixes her glassy eyes on Will, “How’s the carcocha looking?” 
“Better than the last time we saw it,” Will shrugs, glancing over his shoulder at Frankie, “Just needs a little TLC.” 
“Needs to go to the scrapyard if you ask me,” she snorts and tilts her head at her husband as he reaches the top of the stairs, “Hey handsome.” 
He gives her a half-hearted smirk, then frowns, “Where’s Sarah?” 
“She’s fine, still playing. Francisco,” she tugs on his shirt, so he comes to a stop. 
Jesus Christ, her breath smells like a brewery.
His eyes flick to the Millers stalled at the back door. After waving at them to clear out, he raises his eyebrows at Angie, “What?” 
“I need your help with something.” 
“Sure, what?” 
Instead of answering him outright, she takes his hand and leads him down the hallway. His stomach twists with understanding when she pulls him through the doorway towards the bed. 
“If you wanna lay down for a bit, I can take care of every—” 
She turns to face him, placing her palms on his chest and sliding them up to his shoulders, “I want you to fuck me, Francisco.” 
“Ang,” he chuckles with exasperation, shaking his head, “We have a backyard full of guests here, come on.” 
“They’re all having fun, no one will notice.” She takes his hand and guides it to her face, gently folding down all his finger but the index and pouts, “Please, Frankie.” 
He swallows a groan when she wraps her full lips around his digit and sucks. The wet hot plush of her mouth makes his eyelids flutter and weakens his resolve. 
“I don’t think—” 
She pulls his finger from her mouth like a lollipop and bats her eyelashes at him, cooing, “Don’t you wanna fuck me like you did the other night? Didn’t that feel good?” 
“Well, yeah—” 
“We can be quick.” 
As she reaches for his belt, something moves at the edge of his vision. 
“Mommy, Daddy!” 
He looks at the doorway to find Sarah in the hall, holding one penguin toy in each of her pudgy toddler fists. A big, toothy grin spreads across her face and she giggles, galloping into the room. 
Thankful for the diversion, Frankie smiles and takes a big step away from his wife, crouching down to ask Sarah, “Hey sweetheart, what’re you doing in here?” 
“Showing Chacha my penguins,” she tells him, holding up her toys, “This one is an emperor penguin, and this one is a macaroni penguin!” 
“Chacha?”
Something inside him drops to the floor. He looks up and sees you emerge from Sarah’s room. You pause briefly in the hallway, glancing at Angie before meeting his gaze. The pained look on your face rips his heart in two. 
“I, umm…” you stammer, dropping your eyes to the floor and shaking your head, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude, I was just—leaving. There’s a thing and-and I have to go.” 
With this, you flee down the hall, then the stairs, your footsteps still echoing heavy in his head while the front door slams shut. 
“Whiskey coke?” 
You look up from the bar top’s glossy wood finish to give Bubba a nod. 
“Ain’t seen you around here in a while,” he comments while scooping ice into a glass. 
“Yeah.” 
It surprises you a little, how hoarse your voice sounds. A self-awareness passes over you and you straighten your spine, glancing around the bar before digging a compact mirror from your purse. By the time you finish rubbing the bleeding mascara from your swollen eyes, Bubba is placing your drink in front of you. 
You exchange the mirror for your wallet, but when you fish out your card and hold it out to Bubba, he shakes his head. 
“On the house.” 
“What, do I get the sad sap discount?” 
He chuckles a little at this, then shrugs, “If that’s what you wanna call it.” 
“Thanks.”
Leaning forward onto the bar, you pull the glass closer, then stab the ice with your straw a few times. Little bubbles of carbonation fizzle up to the surface and release the gassy scent of rail whiskey. Nostalgia sours your stomach. 
“Everything alright?” 
A deep ache branches out from the weight beneath your sternum and curls around your shoulders. Every cell in your body feels heavy and burdensome. 
Staring at the glass, you shake your head. 
“I’m all ears if you wanna talk about it.” 
“It’s a long, messy story.” 
“I got time.” 
You glance up at him, studying his concerned expression, and sigh, “You know that guy who meets me here sometimes? Brown hair, usually wearing a hat? Started a fight that one time?” 
“The vet?” 
“Yeah,” you nod and swallow down the thickness in your throat, then tell him, “We’ve been off and on for years. He’s, umm… he’s married. I was their nanny when it started. I fell in love with him. He made it clear he didn’t feel the same and he wouldn’t leave his wife, but I kept seeing him because I’m an idiot.” 
“Sounds like you kept seeing him because you loved him, not because you’re an idiot,” Bubba observes. 
“Same difference,” you shrug and tilt your head at your drink, “He’s an alcoholic. After his wife caught us fucking, he went off the rails completely. Still kept seeing him even though he kept me at an arm’s length and drank himself dumb every night. The thing is… I never believed him when he said he couldn’t love me like I loved him. I felt it, and I thought…” 
Tingles work up your throat behind your eyes, and everything becomes blurry as you choke out a sob. 
“I’m sorry—” 
“It’s ok.” 
You shake your head and wipe away your tears, but they keep coming. 
“I thought if I kept loving him he would see how good it could be and come around. I thought he would admit to himself that he does love me like I love him. I wanted that with him so bad, I just couldn’t fucking let go. Then, umm…” 
You clear your throat and take a deep, shaky breath. 
“I had to give him an ultimatum. Her or me. He picked her. I cut it off and tried to move on with my life. He called me a few months ago from jail and asked me to bail him out. I got roped into being his custodian while he’s on parole, so he’s been living with me. We agreed not to get involved in, umm, that way again. 
“He’s been sober and opening up emotionally while working through this shit. It’s been really hard. But it’s also been good, you know, because we’ve had to hash out all these problems that we’ve ignored for years. I’ve been able to see the real him, and… I love him more than I ever have.” 
“Uh-huh,” Bubba raises an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms above his beer belly, “So what happened that’s got you in a fuss? He still doesn’t love you back?” 
The question pierces your heart. 
Your voice balances a tightrope as you confess, “I thought he did. I really did this time, I was so fucking certain. He promised he would fix it, that we could be together—and I fucking believed him—” 
Waves of emotion swell in your chest and flood your eyes with hot tears. You fold forward, burying your face in your hands, releasing sob after sob as you replay the last two months in your head and wonder how you could be so fucking stupid to think it was real. 
The world around you melts away until it’s just you and that dense, pulsing pain. Like it’s always been. Like it always will be. 
It doesn’t matter how hard you try to help him. It doesn’t matter that you love him more than anything else in this world. It doesn’t matter. 
Nothing matters, because he doesn’t love you and he never will. 
A hand rests on your shoulder blades and pulls you back to reality. So lost in your self-pity, you didn’t notice Bubba come around the bar to console you. You sit up and wipe your eyes, mumbling out an apology. 
“It’s fine, darlin’. Can I do anything to help?” 
Sniffling, you shake your head, “I’ll be ok.” 
“You sure?” 
You inhale a shattered breath and give him a weak smile, “Fifty-fifty.” 
He furrows his brow and studies you for a moment before nodding, then taking a step back. 
As he makes his way back to his side of the bar, you stare at your drink. A fat droplet of moisture rolls down the thick condensation lining the glass and gets swallowed up by the cardboard coaster beneath. 
You wish you could forget about him. 
You wish you could feel nothing. 
You wish you could hurt him the way he’s hurt you. 
So, you pluck out the straw, raise the cup to your lips, and start drinking. 
The setting sun paints the wispy clouded sky above a brilliant shade of orange. Beneath his feet, the soles of Frankie’s shoes scuff against the driveway. He glances down at his mom, with her arm hooked in his, and says, “Thanks for coming out, Mamá. I hope you had a good time.” 
“It was a very nice party, mijo.” 
She gives him this stifled polite smile like she’s holding something back. So he prods her. 
“What?” 
She waves him off, “Nada nada.” 
“Come on, Ma.” 
They come to a stop at the driver’s side door of her car and turn to face each other. She studies him a moment, then gives in with a huff, “You have been like this all afternoon. Why?” 
“Like what?”
“So stormy.” 
He deflates, “Don’t worry about it.” 
Her lips purse as she tilts her head at him. The ‘don’t make me smack you’ look. 
“It’s messy, mom. How I’m feeling,” he wrings a hand behind his neck and shrugs, “I don’t know. Everything is a mess and it’s all my fault.” 
“All your fault how? Did something happen?” 
“No—well,” he catches himself, swallows, then corrects, “Yeah. I did something bad. And I lied about it. Then I got caught in the lie, and, you know…” 
She nods slowly, waiting for more. 
“I think I might be a bad person.” 
Her expression softens when Frankie says it. She cups his cheeks and stares straight into his soul. Suddenly, he’s five years old all over again, Mamá comforting his bruised heart. 
“There is a good man inside you. I know him well because he’s my son. Let him be brave.” 
He absorbs this for a moment, then croaks, “Ok.”
“Give me a hug.” 
He hunches over to hug her, burying his face in her neck, “Quiero mucho, mamá.” 
“Yo a ti,” she squeezes him, then pulls back and asks, “Will you call me tomorrow?” 
“Sure.” 
He waits for her to get in her car and drive away before returning to the house. Inside, he finds Sarah and Benny reading a book on the couch, while the siren song of the party still roaring out back rubs at his nerves. 
Frankie pulls out his phone to confirm you, predictably and rightfully, did not respond to his messages or calls. Reconciling with you will be a fucking nightmare. Going home to face the consequences seems less appealing with each passing second. 
He starts to consider other options. 
He could stay and drink. Join the party. Doubtful that Angie or any of her people would give a shit. Hell, they would probably encourage him.
Better yet, he could stay and drink by himself in the garage. There’s enough booze laying around, nobody would notice if he drained a bottle or two in order to reach that blissful numb. 
He plops down on the couch next to Sarah and brings his attention to Benny’s reading. 
“—‘Now stop!’ Max said and sent the wild things off to bed without their supper. And Max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all. Then all around from far away across the world he smelled good things to eat so he gave up being king of where the wild things are. 
But the wild things cried, ‘Oh please don’t go—we’ll eat you up—we love you so!’ And Max said, ‘No!’ The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws but Max stepped into his private boat and waved goodbye… and sailed back over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day… and into the night of his very own room where he found his supper waiting for him… and it was still hot.” 
Benny flips the paperback closed and looks down at Sarah, who yawns and rubs her eyes, then to her father. 
“Still want that ride home?”
Frankie considers this for a moment before nodding, “Yeah. Let me put her to bed and talk to Ang, then we can take off.”
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mingtinysworld · 3 months
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Always loved you
Pairing: Jeong Yunho x fem!reader
Genre: roommates to lovers, best friends to lovers, smut, fluff, drunk reader
Word count: 1.9k
Summary: After a rough breakup and some drinking, you discover that you may have hidden feelings for your roommate. An intimate moment proves that to be true.
Warnings: MDNI, alcohol, cockwarming, unprotected sex (do not), cute shit, Yunho (deserves a warning)
A/n: second fic ever whoohoo!! I had this idea pop into my head randomly and I was obsessed. Not that I’m obsessed with the idea of cockwarming or anything. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed! - J
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“Ma’am, I think you should stop drinking!”
The bartenders concerned voice is drowned out by the deafening music around you. You take yet another sip of the strong whiskey and stumble back into the swarm of people.
You can’t even distinguish whose hands are on you. You sway side to side, accidentally bumping into random people. You’re doing your best to distract yourself, take your mind off of him.
Being broken up with hours prior, your heart keeps constricting with emotion, and you turned to drinking the pain away. You know you should stop, you know you should go home, but you choose to ignore it.
One song after the other, you keep dancing until your legs give out. Feeling the need for air, you push past the crowd towards the exit.
Taking a big gulp of the chilly air sobers you up just a bit. You then check your phone, which has been off for hours, and see countless notifications.
Yunho
Your lovely, sweetheart roommate. He’s left messages, along with calls and voicemails asking if you’re ok. It is almost 2am after all. You decide to call him, to check in, and also needing a ride home. After two rings, he picks up.
“Y/n? Are you ok? Why didn’t you pick up your phone? It’s been hours!! Are you hurt? Are you-” Yunho rambles on.
You can’t help but to chuckle at his worried tone. “Yunho, I’m fine. I’m sorry I didn’t answer, I may have been drinking a bit,” you say with a giggle, your words being slurred, “ugh I’m cold.” You can hear Yunho letting out a long sigh. He must not be thrilled to have to pick you up on yet another drunk night.
“Alright, hold tight. I’ll be there in 15,” You can hear the jingling of his car keys, “don’t go anywhere, got it?”
As he hangs up, the chill comes back. You feel hazy, and unwanted thoughts keep coming back. Surely you’d forget about him eventually, but it felt unbearable in the moment. Desperate for a distraction, you start pacing back and forth on the empty sidewalk, counting your footsteps. After a few minutes of looking like a lunatic, you see headlights approaching.
Yunho jumps out of the car to open the door for you. He looks good, in his plain white t-shirt and black jeans, and his hair fluffy. You can’t help but admire his broad shoulders and cinched in waist underneath that extra fabric. You finally start to get in the car after a few more seconds.
He can sense that there’s something bothering you, but he chooses not to address it. You appreciate the comfortable silence, and lie back to rest your body. To no one’s surprise, you end up falling asleep. As he finishes parking, you stir awake, and start heading upstairs to your shared apartment.
A couple times you trip up the stairs, Yunho having to right you. Both the exhaustion and alcohol in your system do not help. Finally, after a tiring couple of minutes, you’re at your door. While Yunho is fumbling with the key, you space out, staring straight at the wall.
As you walk in, the comfort of your space is so incredibly overwhelming. Yunho heads to the kitchen to get you a water bottle. As you gulp it down, you feel so conflicted. The break up was a long time coming, but it’s also making you feel so empty. Yunho notices you slumping down.
“Hey, do you wanna go to sleep now? You need a lot of rest,” he gets up, trying to pull you up, “come on sleepyhead.” You feel panic at having to leave him. You cling to his sleeve in distress and hang your head.
“Yunho…” you trail off uncertainly. His smile reassures you to keep going. “Would it be ok if I slept with you tonight?” If he was surprised, he didn’t show it.
“Of course you can, that’s totally alright.” His bright smile warmed your insides. He leads you to his room, and you immediately relax. Your head and body feel so heavy, you are eager to finally relax. You and him have never been the touchy type of friends ever, so laying next to him felt strange but somehow just right. Even though it’s so comfortable, you can’t help but keep tossing around for a bit.
“Can’t sleep?” Yunho whispers in a groggy voice. Feeling a shameful thought enter your mind, you burrow your face under the covers. You can think of a method that could help you sleep but…you couldn’t possibly ask it of Yunho. He frowns at you, “What’s wrong? You can tell me.”
Oh sweet, sweet Yunho. If only he knew what was going through my brain.
“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you. It’s too embarrassing ugh.” You wish a hole would swallow you up right about now. You feel a soft touch to your chin, guiding you to look into Yunho’s sparkling eyes. God, he’s so beautiful. He’s looking at you with such a loving look that it feels too much. It’s doing things to your heart, and that is too dangerous.
You wiggle out of his touch, burying your head into his chest out of embarrassment. You start to mumble incoherently, “I wanna…” Yunho chuckles softly. “I can’t hear you. Will you look up at me and say it?” You shake your head like a petulant child. “Y/n, look at me.” His tone shocks you. It was almost dominant. The hair on your arms raise as you shakily look at him.
He looks at you intensely, “Now what was it that you wanted?” You take a deep breath, and gain courage.
“I was wondering if I could cockwarm you.”
Silence fills the room, and you realize you’ve fucked it up. No more bestie Yunho, he hates you. He’s going to kick you out of his bed and never talk to you again. He’s going to-
“Ok.”
Your jaw drops wide open. You stare at him like a dumb fish. The wires of your brain may have short circuited. He starts laughing and that brings you back to life. “I’m serious, Y/n. I don’t mind, it’ll help you sleep. Plus it would feel nice too…” The latter was said with him turned away. Fighting a blush, you let out a tiny “thank you.”
“Alright, lift your hips up for me.” He takes off your flimsy shorts and slides your panties aside. He looks at you once more, looking slightly worried. “You’re 100% sure? You nod with certainty, “Yes, I’m definitely sure.” His face relaxes at that.
He turns you to your side, and lines up with your entrance. He enters little by little, and you let out a hiss at the burn. Yunho makes sure you’re ok to continue, and finally is snug inside you. The comfort is immediate. Your brain quiets down, and your eyes can’t help but flutter shut. Before you know it, you’re fast asleep in Yunho’s arms.
~~
Yunho stirs awake at dawn, slivers of dusty pink light filtering through the blinds. His face turns a bright shade of pink when he realized what’s happening. He looks down at your two connected bodies, and your slow moving hips. The movement drives Yunho crazy, and he almost lets out a squeak when he sees your face. Your head is thrown back, and drool is coming out the side of your mouth. As you work yourself on his cock, you let out tiny little whimpers.
It’s taking all of Yunho’s self restraint to not start pounding into you. He wants to wake you up so badly, but he takes a couple of moments to admire your beautiful face. Your eyebrows are softly scrunched, eyelashes softly pillowed on the curve of your cheeks. And of course, your inviting lips. His heart restricts at the simple thought of kissing you.
As if you could hear his thoughts, you start to wake up with a light groan. Feeling so disoriented, you feel the drool around your lips and wipe it off with the back of your hand. The events of last night momentarily forgotten, you attempt to move to your side, and come to a horrifying realization.
Yunho’s dick was inside you.
The memories start coming back and you want to turn into dust at that moment. While your brain is working at full speed, so are your hips. They’re still grinding and squeezing against Yunho. It feels so good you can’t stop. Desperation takes on and you feel like you’re going insane.
Yunho decides to take charge, and holds your hips in place. You whine in protest, but he tilts your chin up to face him. “Hey baby, let me take care of you alright? Just relax,” he whispers. You nuzzle into his chest, breathing in his lavender body wash and feeling your brain go fuzzy.
He starts with shallow thrusts and it has your head spinning. You let out choked moans, sending vibrations through his chest. He’s hitting all the right spots, your body jolting from the pleasure. The feeling is too much, yet not enough at the same time. You can’t help but let out lewd noises.
Yunho feels as if he’s on cloud nine, and he needs to see your face or he’ll go insane. “Y/n, look at me please.” He says desperately. You peer up at him through hazy eyes and he throws his head back and groans at the sight. “Fuckkk,” he wishes he could take a picture so badly. Your eyes are narrow slits of pure lust. Your glowy cheeks, and your pretty pretty nose and lips. His palm envelopes the side of your face and his lips are on yours.
His kiss is so passionate that it throws you off. This didn’t feel like the kiss of a casual moment, it felt like the kind you gave your partner after not seeing them for a while. His lips are pillowy soft, melding with your pair. You hum into his mouth with contentment. As his hips piston into you harder, you cry out and grab onto his shoulder. You cum with a shudder of your whole body, breathing heavily.
You can feel his thrusts slowing down, getting more sloppy. He’s so close, you can feel it. You help him get there by intentionally clenching, resulting in soft gasps. He goes all the way, fills you up with so much cum it starts seeping out.
As you both come down from your highs, he puts his forehead against yours. An exchange of soft breaths and just so so much love. “Y/n, this may sound absolutely crazy, but I think I’m in love with you. And trust me, it’s not because we just had mind blowing sex, but it definitely unlocked something. I think I’ve always loved you, I’ve just been too afraid of it changing our dynamic. You don’t have to feel the same way, I just wanted to-”
You crash your lips against his before he finishes his sentence. This is your way of showing him that you love him just as much. You kiss with so much fervor that he’s shocked. He reciprocates your energy, and leaves you breathless.
“Goddammit Y/n I love you so so much. I could stay here with you all day,” he whispers. He cradles your head against his chest, and whispers sweet nothings with soft kisses to your forehead.
I think I could get used to this you think.
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coffeewithcocoa · 2 months
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HIIIIIII OK SO HERE I AM, I wanna ask if maybe you could write like angel x male reader (trans or not up to you) where the reader comforts him maybe after a hard day of work or smthng? My boy needs love and affection😭💗
HERE YOU GO! 🫡
YES ANGEL NEEDS LOVE AND CARE!! I threw a mental breakdown in here:)
Comforting An Angel
Angel Dust x Male Reader
I put male, hope that’s okay!
Summary: You give him comfort after a hard day of work.
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(Look at the precious Ange)
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You were waiting in your lovely boyfriend’s, Angel Dusts, room for his return. He told you that he was going to come back late since Valentino wanted to shoot some more stuff with him. Which you understood but you still felt bad for him, especially since his boss is a creep.
You hated Valentino with all your guts. You hated him so much that you would sell your soul so Angel didn’t have to deal with him. He’s told you countless of times though that everything’s fine and that he’s fine, which didn’t make you feel better at all.
After some time of just zoning out and playing with Angels pig, fat nuggets, you got a text from him saying that he just got back and he’s heading to his room. Though you didn’t want to wait anymore so you hopped out of his bed, grabbed Fat Nuggets, and ran straight to the stairs.
Fat nugget oinked at you. “I’m not slowing down!” You told him as if he could talk. When you got halfway there you saw Angel with a liquor bottle in his hand and a tired expression on his face. Your face turned soft as you approached him, letting fat nuggets go and surprise him.
A small gasp left him as he went on his knees and had Nuggs just into his arms. “Awh hi my fat nuggets! How was your day with your other daddy, huh?” His went to a baby voice making you chuckle.
“How was your day Angel?” You gave him a smile. He sighed, grabbing the liquor bottle and standing up. “Stressful.” Your face changed to a softer one, grabbing his hand. “Let’s go to your room and you can talk about it, okay?” He nodded with a weak smile.
The walk back to his room felt quicker when he was actually with you. You opened his room door for him just as a kind act for him. He took a seat on his bed, placing Fat Nuggets In front of him. The liquor bottle being placed on his nightstand.
You took a seat in front of Fat Nuggets, petting him as you looked at Angel. “Could we maybe…cuddle?” He moved his legs so they were to his chest. You nodded, “Of course.” You grabbed Fat Nuggets carefully and sat closer to Angel.
He moved himself so he could easily grab you. Fat Nuggets was in the middle of you guys. “What did Val do this time?” Your voice came out stern.
“He’s into this water boardin’ shit now. He says it’s a kink..” He shrugs, his attention mostly towards Fat Nuggets. “So he’s been drowning you all day?” You rose an eyebrow at him. He nodded, “he gave me some breaks..only around a few seconds.” He tried defending Valentino.
Angel had told you the shit that he does behind closed doors away from the public. It sickens you. “Why’d you sign the contract?” You looked up at him, him doing the same to you. “‘Cause before then I loved him.” You furrowed your eyebrows.
“Oh Angel.” Tears flooded his eyes, quickly spilling out as he hugged Fat nuggets tightly. You moved behind him so you could lay on his bed. He moved his head to the crook of your neck.
You hugged him towards your body. “I wish I hadn’t signed that fuckin’ contract.” Angel said between sobs. “I know, it’s okay..shhh.” You gently rubbed his back, giving him kisses on his forehead.
A few minutes later the sobs stopped. You moved yourself back to see his sleeping face. He was hugging a sleeping Fat Nuggets that was in between the both of you. You chuckled as you kissed his damp cheek, “Have a nice rest love.”
With that you closed your eyes and fell asleep with a smile on your face.
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ITS A BIT RUSHED AT THE END IM SORRY😭 Hope you like it though.
Who else hates Valentino?:D
•Have a nice day/night!•
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d0youc0py · 11 months
Note
The 141 (or anyone) reacting to fireworks with their ptsd :(
And reader giving them noise cancelling headphones/ music/ a movie/ lots of cuddles to drown them out
Love me some hurt/comfort
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He had a pillow pressed tightly over his head. Not that it did much. You were sleeping so peacefully completely unaware of the war going on outside. Well to him that’s what it sounded like. To everyone else it sounded like a bunch of stupid teenagers who got their hands on some explosives. He was so close to waking you up. Yet every time his hand extended towards your body he stopped himself.
‘Don’t bother them.’ Pounded over and over in his head. His heart was beating so fast he was surprised it hadn’t given out. There was surely a sweat outline of his body against the sheets. You moved. A simple sleepy stretch causing soft moan escaping you.
‘Please wake up.’
Didn’t you realize his arms weren’t around you? Didn’t you feel his shivering body? Couldn’t you hear his ragged breathing. Didn’t you hear the attack outside? Didn’t you smell the gunpowder? Didn’t you hear the screaming?
“Sweetheart.” He couldn’t bear it anymore. “Sweetheart.” He repeated again. His head rested against your pillow, his face burying itself in the back of you neck. His arms returned to your waist pulling you so close the two of you couldn’t be differentiated. You groaned.
“Si?”
“I’m sorry.” His voice cracked. Another- much louder boom echoed through the house. His grip on you tightened a soft whimper leaving him.
“Si.” You repeated again, this time out of worry. “It’s okay Si. Why don’t we move to the couch?”
“I’m sorry I woke you up.” He still wasn’t completely present. “I’m sorry.”
You tried to turn in his grasp- he loosened his grip to let you.
“You never have to be sorry.” You pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. He pressed his sweaty forehead against yours. “Do you want to go to the couch? Watch a movie?”
He shook his head. “Just wanna stay like this, please.”
You mumbled a small ‘okay’ before pressing your cheek against his, your head sandwiched between his and the pillow. Your fingers traced back and forth over his jaw- something he usually did to self soothe. He closed his eyes, completely allowing himself to sink into you touch.
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He was trying his hardest to keep it together. He was always fine with these types of things- maybe jumping a time or two, but something was different. Maybe it was all the people. Maybe it was the fact you were here- his urge to protect doubling. Maybe it was the total black night sky, that made him unable to see his surroundings. Whatever it was was almost sending him to his knees.
You watched with wide eyes as bold colors filled the sky. Fireworks never ceased to bring out the childlike wonder in you. You looked up at John expecting to see a similar look across his face. His eyes were frantically searching the area, his body ridged. Even over the loud boom you could hear his shuddered breathing. Your reached a hand out and pulled at his sleeve. His eyes quickly fled down to yours. He didn’t even need to say anything before you were tugging him away from the scene. You suddenly became all to aware of how loud it was. You felt horrible. You should’ve know better than to bring him to a firework show. You found shelter in a small restaurant around the corner.
The explosions could still be heard, but were muffled by smooth jazz and idle chatter.
“Two please.” The waitress quickly showed you to your table.
“I’m sorry, Sweetheart.” You quickly shushed him.
“It was my fault. I should’ve know better.” You took full responsibility.
“No. If I didn’t think I could handle it then I would’ve said something. I don’t know what got into me.” He said. He gripped your hand pressing a kiss to your knuckles before squeezing it in his. “I’m sorry I ruined our night. I know how excited you were.”
You shushed him again.
“Please stop apologizing. It’s not your fault and I’m a big kid- I can handle a little disappointment. Do you feel better now?” You pulled your hand back along with his, resting both of them in your lap. He nodded his head.
“I do.” He smiled, giving your hand a squeeze. “How ‘bout I buy you dinner so this evening isn’t a total waste?”
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You giggled wildly as you were spun around. Two large hands found their way back to your waist, pulling you against him. He pulled away- just to spin you around again.
“You’re making me dizzy.” You snickered, poking at his chest.
“What?” He shouted, pulling a headphone away from his ear.
“I said you’re making me dizzy.” You shouted back. He smiled at you before doing it again.
“Johnny!” You pouted. He let go of you, jumping up and down bobbing his head to the blaring music.
As soon as you received a note on your door about a neighborhood party you decided it was the perfect night to do a silent disco. Both of you had your headphones in with Taylor Swift playing at the highest volume.
“Want to have a dance battle?”
“What?” You yelled, removing your headphones.
“I said do you want to have a dance battle?” He yelled back. Your eyes lit up.
“Loser makes dinner!”
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“How ya doing?” You asked, peering up at Kyle over the blanket.
“I’m alright baby.” He assured, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Although if you were trying to distract me you should’ve pick a different movie.”
“Finding Nemo is a great movie!” You gasped. You couldn’t help but poke at his cheek while he smirked. He moved his head and playfully bit at your finger.
A loud boom echoed from outside. He jumped instinctively pulling you closer. The noise was bothering him more than he let on. He hated it. His attention should be solely on you. He was with you. Safe, warm and devastatingly happy. Not out there- in constant danger, cold and scared. He rubbed his cheek against your head, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. You wrapped your arms around him.
“Do you want to play Mario Kart?” You asked softly. His eyes shot opened.
“Now that’s a distraction!”
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sweetcherrywrites · 7 days
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together — p. lahote
summary: after her confrontation with paul, y/n decides to just avoid him. however, things can never seem to go the way she wants them to.
word count: 1.9k
author’s note: sorry about the long wait. hope you enjoy this.
part one: here
“look just leave me alone, alright? i don’t wanna talk to you.”
it was all she could think about.
“no you don’t.”
the way he responded when she asked whether she meant something to him.
“i don’t care about you. i just kept you around because i didn’t wanna hurt you and i knew that didn’t have anyone else. but now i’m done. i’m not doing it anymore.”
that was what did it.
all she could think about were the hurtful words that he told her, how her heart broke with each thing he said.
she couldn’t understand what she did so wrong that he would say those things to her. she had guessed that it had something to do with his involvement with sam uley and jared cameron and the fact that they cut ties with basically everyone in their lives and only hung out with each other.
she was hurt whatever the reason was.
eventually that hurt turned into anger.
after everything they’ve been through, he just abandoned her? tossed her aside like she meant nothing? hurting her without feeling even an once of remorse?
it made her even more angry every time she thought about it. she wanted to confront him again, demand that he tell her what was going on and not letting him walking away until he did so.
but she didn’t.
instead she decided to avoid him at all costs.
if he had decided that he didn’t want her in his life, so be it. there was nothing that she could do about it.
no matter how much she wanted to.
that didn’t stop her mind from thinking about him though.
no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
it was even worse at night, when it was silent and she couldn’t sleep, so she was forced to do nothing but think about all the moments that they had together and everything that led to up to him disappearing on her. it was all she could do.
kind of like now.
right now, she was laying on her bed, thinking about what he could be doing right now. probably with jared or sam like always, since apparently that had something that she didn’t for him to just up and leave her for then without a second thought.
she rlly didn’t want to give up, but what was she supposed to do?
paul made his choice. he didn’t want her around.
he never did. he said it himself.
“i just kept you around because i didn’t wanna hurt you and i knew that didn’t have anyone else.”
the only thing she could do was avoid him.
no matter how much it hurt..
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despite her decision to avoid paul, there was one place she couldn't stay away from: la push beach.
it held too many memories, too much comfort, to let him take that away from her. so, against her better judgment, she found herself there, seeking solace in the crashing waves and sandy shores.
she settled down with a book, hoping to lose herself in its pages and forget, if only for a moment, the turmoil inside her. for a while, it worked. the sound of the ocean drowned out the noise in her mind, and she allowed herself to relax, if only slightly.
but then, just when she thought she could escape him for a moment, she saw him. paul, along with sam and jared, playing soccer not far from where she sat.
her heart clenched at the sight, memories flooding back of happier times spent together.
she tried to ignore them, to focus on her book and pretend they weren't there.
but clearly fate had other plans.
a stray ball rolled her way, and before she could react, paul was by her side, retrieving it.
“uh..i'm sorry about that…are you alrig-”
their eyes met, and in that moment, everything changed. paul froze, his gaze locking onto hers with an intensity she couldn't comprehend.
she felt a mixture of shock, confusion, and overwhelming emotion wash over her. she wanted to run, to escape the sudden intensity of his gaze, but her body refused to move.
she couldn’t take it anymore. the longer she stayed there, the more the memories of their last interaction came rushing back, reminding her of the pain he caused her.
she forced herself to stand to her feet. she had to get out of there.
“wait, please. i need to explain.”
gathering her things in a hurry, she stood up, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. she shook her head, unable to bear his words.
“i don't want to hear it, paul,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the crashing waves.
turning away from him, she walked briskly back the way she came from, wanting nothing more to be at home in bed. she wished she never came.
she could feel his gaze on her back, but she didn’t turn around. instead, she kept walking, leaving behind the echoes of his apologies and the shattered pieces of her heart on the sandy shore.
instead, she left him exactly how he left her.
alone.
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she continued to avoid paul, despite his persistent attempts to talk to her and explain. he would blow up her phones with calls and texts, begging her for a chance to explain, but she just ignored them, opting to put her phone on silent. he had showed up at her door, knocking and pleading for her to listen, to give him a chance. but she couldn’t bring herself to face him, not after the hurtful words he had spoken.
however, one rainy day, as she lay in bed, trying to escape the memories that haunted her, she heard a persistent knocking at her window.
she didn’t have to guess who it was on the other side.
with a heavy sigh, she pulled back the curtain to find paul standing there, his expression determined.
“please, just let me explain. i won’t leave until you hear me out.”
she contemplated it for a moment. she wanted to just close the curtains and ignore him, but she knew that he would be true to his word and not leave and she really didn’t want him outside of her window all day.
reluctantly, she opened the window, letting him in. he stood before her, shirtless, his tattoo on display on his right shoulder.
she crossed her arms, a defensive stance, and asked, “what do you want, paul?”
paul took a step closer, his eyes pleading. “i’ve been trying to explain, but you won’t listen. please, just give me a chance.”
she scoffed. “why should i let you explain after everything you said?”
he sighs, “i didn’t mean anything i said. please know that. i’ve been trying to protect you. i couldn’t tell you before because i had to keep you safe.”
she furrowed her brow, confusion evident in her eyes. “protect me from what?”
paul hesitated, his jaw clenched with the weight of his words. “come with me. i’ll show you.”
she hesitated for a moment, uncertainty clouding her thoughts. but then, with a nod, she quickly grabbed a jacket and slipped on her shoes before following him outside.
they walked in silence, the only sound the crunch of leaves beneath their feet. finally, they reached a secluded clearing, under the thick cover of clouds.
paul turned to face her, his expression solemn. “have you ever heard of the tribe legends? about how we can shape-shift into wolves?”
she looked at him in disbelief, her brow furrowing. “are you really about to tell me that you can turn into a wolf?”
paul met her gaze, unwavering. “just let me show you.”
paul took a step back, his muscles tensing as he began to undress. her eyes widened for a moment, but she decided against saying anything.
his body started to shake uncontrollably, wisps of smoke curling around him. she watched in astonishment as his form began to contort, his muscles rippling beneath his skin. then, with a sudden burst of energy, he transformed into a large silver wolf before her eyes. her breath caught in her throat as she took a step back, her mind struggling to comprehend what she was witnessing.
but as the wolf approached her, she felt a sense of calm wash over her, a feeling of familiarity overcoming her.
tentatively, she reached out a hand, brushing her fingers against the wolf’s fur. it nuzzled against her, its eyes filled with an emotion she couldn’t quite place.
“okay… okay, I believe you,” she whispered, still slightly in shock.
as paul shifted back into his human form, his features softened, and he stood before her once again. she stared at him in astonishment, her mind still reeling from the surreal experience.
after a moment of silence, paul reached for his clothes, his movements deliberate yet somehow hesitant. with each garment he put back on, the reality of what she had just witnessed sank in deeper, leaving her speechless.
she watched in silence as he dressed, her mind racing with questions yet unable to form coherent words. the forest seemed to hold its breath as they stood there, the weight of their shared revelation hanging heavy in the air.
paul swallowed hard, the weight of his confession heavy on his shoulders. “i couldn’t tell you because… because I was under sam’s orders.”
her heart sank at his revelation, the pieces of the puzzle finally falling into place. “so, why now? why are you telling me this now?”
paul took a deep breath, his eyes searching hers as he tried to find the right words.
he hesitated, his breath catching in his throat. “because… because i imprinted on you, y/n. it’s you, it’s always been you.”
her eyes widened in disbelief, her mind struggling to comprehend the weight of his words. “imprinted? what does that mean?”
“you know when everything just falls into place, like pieces of a puzzle fitting together perfectly? that’s what imprinting is like. it’s not love at first sight, but more like... suddenly everything makes sense. you become whatever they need you to be—whether it's a protector, a lover, or a friend. it’s like the world shifts, and they become your center.”
she listened intently, her heart swelling with a mix of emotions—confusion, disbelief, but also a strange sense of hope.
“and it's you,” he continued, his voice soft but unwavering. “it’s always been you.”
her eyes brimmed with tears as she took in his words, the weight of his confession lifting the veil of uncertainty that had clouded her mind.
“i don't know what to say,” she admitted, her voice choked with emotion.
paul reached out, cupping her face in his hands. “you don't have to say anything. i just needed you to know... i love you, y/n. i always have, and i always will. and it’s not just because of the imprint. it’s always been you. i didn’t mean any of the stuff that i said before. i thought i was protecting you. you mean everything to me.”
her breath caught in her throat at his confession, her heart swelling with a love she never thought possible. she looked into his eyes, seeing the depth of his feelings reflected back at her, and knew in that moment that she felt the same.
“i love you too, paul,” she whispered, her voice filled with conviction.
as they leaned in, their lips met in a tender kiss, sealing their love and their destiny together. in that moment, they stood in each other’s arms, their hearts beating as one. in that moment, they stood together.
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i really hope you guys enjoyed this. i know that it was longgg overdue.
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lonewolfwriting89 · 11 months
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"To bare flesh is to invite a knife"
Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader
Warnings: Descriptions of a dead body. Hints of torture and violence. Blood. Depictions of war. Trauma. Explicit Language. NSFW. Smut. Soft smut.
A/N: A somewhat softer Simon, written with female!reader insert. Pre-established relationship between Simon x Reader. Thanks to @offendedfishnoises​ for all your help, thanks to @more-cardigan-than-woman​ too xoxo 
————
I wanna see the rest of the world the same way that you do, I wanna be the home that you leave and you return to, I wanna stay here in your arms as long as I can do.
All anyone wants is just, More time, more life, more healing, More love, more us, more feeling, Oh, I just need, I'm just needing, More you, more nights for dreaming, These days go by so fast and I, Oh, I just need, I'm just needing more.
There's not enough time in one life, For you and I, there's not enough time.
————
It was 2am, Simon saw the clock tick over just a few seconds ago. Sleep didn’t come all that easily anymore, even when he was curled up against your soft, warm body. He tugged you into his chest on instinct, feeling his heart flutter when you subconsciously leaned further back, resting the base of your skull against his collarbone. You murmured in your sleep, your lips parted just slightly. Simon had to refrain himself from kissing them, giving into your passion.
The cold autumn air had crept in through the glass of your apartment windows, chilling the bedroom off. It was fresh. Simon liked the contrast of it against your heat.
You hummed again in your sleep, hand meeting his around your waist. He gave a secret smile, the brush of your fingertips setting his nerves on fire. Unable to resist any longer, Simon ghosted feather light kisses along your shoulder, working across your flesh and stopped just below your ear.
You were his. You’d told him so. Repeated the words back to him as he buried himself inside you to the hilt. Nails digging crescent shapes into his shoulder blades as the pleasure exploded behind your eyes.
It was these moments Simon cherished the most. The peace. Tranquillity floating like a lily on the water's surface. He ran his free hand along the length of your bare body, burning the feeling into his memory. He’d take this with him on his next deployment. Picture it when he was lonely and needed you the most.
You shivered and snuggled in impossibly closer. A puff of air left your lips, a beautiful sigh. Simon snorted to himself, everything you did was mesmerising. Even the most mundane of things like brushing your teeth on your tiptoes, his black T-shirt barely covering your ass. He smirked, cock twitching slightly at the thought.
His fingers splayed across your stomach, pressing your skin to his. He sighed and leant his head forward, sinking it into you. He felt you absorb him, and he allowed it. Becoming drunk on the feeling.
It was this. This is what he needed. The last mission was tough, bruises still lingering on his knuckles. Cut still healing on his upper lip. His emotions had crept up on him, drowning him in the field momentarily. For the first time in a long time, he was scared.
————
Flashback 
————
Turning the corner, Simon whipped his gun clearing the room. Empty. It was dark, filthy sheets covering the tiny windows. The broken glass allowed the heat of the desert to seep in. Simon pressed his thumb into the side of his radio on his chest, his assault rifle loose in his fingers but still dangerous , “It’s a negative Captain, the rooms have been evacuated, I think there’s a body on the table under some tarp”.
The air was thick with sand and dust, clogging his nostrils. There was a distinct smell of decay in the room, tinged with bitter metallic blood. The crackle of his radio shattered the eerie silence, Price’s voice filtering through, “Understood Ghost, check the room for any intel”.
Dropping his gun down, Simon scouted the edges of the room first, his gloved hands rummaging through the wires and screws on the tables. It was the remnants of a bomb. He pocketed some of the paperwork hidden underneath, it looked like some kind of instruction manual, one of the mechies could look over it at the base camp.
Turning, he looked towards the metal table in the middle of the room, a dank piece of tarpaulin strewn untidily over what was clearly a body underneath. Poor fucker, thought Simon. He huffed and stepped closer. What a shitty way out, laying dead in a derelict warehouse.
He gripped the edge and tore it back, feeling the ground fall out beneath him when he saw what was under it. His stomach plummeted, heart racing rapidly in his chest. He felt it tighten, his head going foggy.
A mangled female body, drenched in blood laid there. Lifeless. Her skin was pale and blotchy, covered in bruises and welts. But what caught Simon was her hair. Your hair. Matted, stained with blood and vomit. It streaked across your swollen face, lips bust open. 
You. His world. Lying dead, cut open. Simon gripped the edge of the table and tried to focus but struggled. Eyesight spotting in the corners. He couldn’t lose you. Not like this. Not in his world. No.
“Any luck Ghost?”.
Simon’s head was pounding, a high pitched ringing sounding through his ears like a bomb had exploded. Price sounded like he was in the distance, faint and wavering. His vision throbbed and he gripped the edge of the table, oxygen catching in his lungs with sand. He felt heavy. Sick. When did it become so hard to breathe?
“Ghost?!”, Price shouted again, “Do you copy??”.
He needed to ground himself. The panic clawed its way up this throat and constricted painfully. Simon pressed his head to the wall and counted. 
10, 9, 8…
He could hear the wind whipping through the building outside, carrying the arid temperature with it. It was hot. Too hot. Sweat dripped down his forehead, tracing down his spine under his tactical vest. He missed the British weather. Unpredictable. 
7, 6, 5…
The roar of an engine, one of the trucks surging into life. The acrid scent of burning rubber and motor oil floated on the air. It was thick like syrup. Black. Simon would bet Price had sent in back up as he hadn’t responded. He needed to get himself together. Fuck. He couldn’t be caught like this. Brick by brick, he needed to place that wall back. He wasn’t Simon. No. Right now he was Ghost. Ghost.
4, 3, 2..
It can’t have been you. No. Never. He’d never let anything like that happen to you. You were thousands of miles away, wrapped up in sheets of soft linen, probably drinking too much coffee whilst reading a book. He tried to imagine the smell of the fancy coffee you loved, your perfume that always lingered on his skin for hours. This wasn’t you. It was a cruel trick of his imagination. You were safe. He’d left you safe, back home. You were ok. 
1…
He heard the sound of footsteps racing up the stairs, the sound of Soap’s Scottish twang echoing off the crumbling brick walls. Simon ripped himself off the wall and raised his rifle just as Soap barged into the room. Johnny could see straight away the room was clear except for Ghost who looked oddly dishevelled, stood right in the middle. 
“Everything alright L.T?”.
“Fine”, he grunted and strode across the room, he tipped his head to the side, “Deceased female, covered her back up, it wasn’t—”.
“Understood L.T”.
Sometimes, just sometimes, Ghost appreciated when Soap stepped in.
———
Stepping out into the black of the night, Simon flipped the mobile in his hands. He’d picked it up in a market on the outsides of the town, almost certain it’d never trace back to you.
Resting his back against the wall, he propped his combat boot against the brick before looking up at the sky. He could see every star. There was hardly any light pollution out here. You’d have loved the sight. You liked gazing at the night sky, especially if he was holding you.
He ran his tongue across  his lips before dialling your number. The sound of the rings lulling him into a false sense of security. He still found it strange that the heat of the desert so quickly turned to ice when the sun sank. He shuddered.
——
Your ringtone bounced off the bedroom walls startling you from your sleep. Poking your head from under the blankets you saw the room was still dark, illuminated by the light of your phone ringing. You squinted your eyes, looking at the clock at the other side of the bed. 3am.
Who would be calling you at 3am? You yawned, stretching your back and arching up before grabbing your phone from the nightstand. 
Unknown caller.
3am.
You slid the bar across on your phone to answer it, answering it your voice came out horse, “H-hello?”, you coughed, clearing your throat, “Hello?”.
Simon closed his eyes the moment he heard your voice trickle through the phone. He soaked it in, allowing it to wash over his senses. You sounded exhausted. Probably because it was 3am. Fuck. He shouldn’t have called so late. He took a deep, steady breath.
You yawned again, sitting up in bed. You wiped at your eyes, a strange feeling flooding your stomach, “Hello? Is someone there?”, you held your breath nervously, “I can hear breathing…”.
Swallowing thickly, Simon tried to contain his emotions. What could he say? What would you say? He’d never called you when he was away before. The weight of the day sat heavy on his shoulders, forcing him to slump back into the brickwork. He let out another sigh, it sounded weak.
“Si? Is..is that you? Are you ok?”, you bit your lip, waiting to hear him. God you hoped it was him. Wishing he was ok.
“Love…”, his rough voice cracked.
You let go of the breath you didn’t even know you were holding, relief washing over you like a flood, “Simon…”.
It was comforting to know it was him but terrifying at the same time. You knew Simon never called whilst he was away. He’d always said it was too dangerous. He didn’t want anyone finding out about you. Something had to be wrong, seriously wrong for him to be calling you. Anxiety sank into your bones, chilling them.
“Simon…”.
He loved hearing you say his name. You were perfect. He wished he could stay with you. A prayer. One that never seemed to be answered. More time. That’s what he wanted. More time with you. His centre.
“I—I’m sorry, it’s got to be late there love”, he shivered as the cold nip of desert air whipped under his balaclava, “I shouldn’t have called”.
“What happened”.
Simon cursed. You knew him too well. He shouldn’t have been that surprised really. You’d always been able to see into him. It’s why he loved you. Not that he’d told you that. The words always fizzled out before they left his tongue.
“It's nothing. I just—I needed to hear your voice”.
You tugged the comforter up your body and inhaled, it still smelled vaguely of Simon. You refused to change it, not wanting to let him go fully, you needed him with you.
“What do you need me to say?”, you could have said, ‘what do you want me to say’ but you didn’t, want is so different to need. And Simon needed you. He couldn’t voice it properly, always struggling to say what he truly wanted. But it didn't matter, you always knew anyway.
Simon let out a light, surprisingly delicate chuckle, “I could listen to you say anything”.
You flushed a little at the flirt and curled into his side of the bed, “Are you sure you’re ok?”.
“I am now”, he rolled his skull balaclava up just under his nose, placing a cigarette between his chapped lips. He lit it before taking a long slow drag. The nicotine hit perfectly.
“I thought you’d quit, hm?”, you hummed, a tease coating your words.
“Damn, I thought you wouldn’t hear me”, he snorted out a laugh, the sound somewhat hollow, “Old habits an’all that - I’ll start again tomorrow, promise love. M’sorry”.
You rested your head on his pillow, smiling to yourself, remembering not that long ago when he was laid there, threading his fingers through your hair, “S’ok Si…I understand”.
“You should go to sleep, love, it’s late there”, Simon took another drag, blowing the smoke into the blanket of the night. He didn’t want you to go at all. He’d stay awake till sunrise with you. But, duty calls.
‘I wish you were here’, you wanted to say, the words almost escaping your lips, but instead you murmured, “I’ll be dreaming of you”.
His lips curled around the cigarette end, “And I you”.
The line disconnected and Simon stared at the dark screen of the phone. He missed you instantly, desperate to call you back. There was so much more to say. Why didn’t he say it? It would have been perfect. You’d have wanted to hear it.
Instead he muttered his confession to the desert, ‘I love you’ faded into the air, before he dropped the phone to the floor, smashing it with the heel of his boot. He couldn’t have anyone finding out about you. Getting to you. The broken shards of the phone scattered, some becoming buried by the shifting sands. Turning, he headed back towards the barracks, preparing for another day.
————
End Flashback
————
Safe. That was how it felt when you woke in Simon’s embrace. Your limbs entangled with his. You felt his muscles tense as he stretched, his arm wrapping back around you tightly. The heat radiated off his skin, warming yours. It was a feeling you loved, your bare skin pressed to his. The soft sheets draped over your entwined bodies.
You looked up at him, his eyes closed somewhat peacefully, his fingers mindlessly twirling your hair around them. Leaning up, you frowned noticing the yellow bruise above his lip, the cut on his lip just about healed. Gently, you kissed the wound, feeling heat bloom in the pit of your stomach when Simon smiled.
“Simon…”, you started, fingers stroking over the dip in his chest, “Each time you come back with another scar, I’m just going to have to kiss it better”.
His eyebrows lifted, a smirk evident on his face, “Y’know that’s only going to encourage me right?”.
Laughing, you smiled and felt the blush spreading across your cheeks, “I probably should have thought that through that before I said it”.
“No no, you’ve said it now, love”, his large hand dragged down your back making you shiver, “I expect to come home to you nursing me better —every time”.
Fluttering your eyelashes on purpose, you looked up at him with doe eyes, “In one of those little nurse outfits?”.
You saw his eyes flicker dark momentarily and he growled, “Don’t be a tease”.
“Who said I was kidding?”.
Simon tried to roll you both over but you pressed your hand to his chest, stopping him. 
“Something wrong, love?”.
You shook your head and stroked the cut with tenderness, “How did you get it?”.
It wasn’t unusual for Simon to come home with cuts and bruises. New scars and broken bones. But something told you this was different.
“Get what?”, Simon pretended to look confused, dipping his head down to kiss you. Ready to distract.
“Simon…”.
He sighed softly, knowing he wasn’t going to get out of it. He’d never been able to say no to you.
“Well, long story short, I got into a scuffle with one of the new lads…fucking cheeky cunt”, he muttered the last part under his breath.
“What—”, worry flickered over your face, eyes going wide. It wasn’t like Simon to get into fights with his colleagues, he was always so professional. Brothers in arms, he’d once said. Your mind was whirling until you heard his voice cut your thoughts short.
“It doesn’t matter now, it’s fine”.
“But—”.
“I promise love”, he kissed you so gently you would have sworn you imagined it, “Please—please don’t worry”, another kiss was planted on your forehead, making you sigh happily.
“I’ll be more careful”, he murmured the last part so softly, you didn’t catch it, “For you”.
——
The heavy patter of rain against your window pane was somewhat of a safety net for Simon, the miserable weather common here in his northern hometown of Manchester. The bedroom window was cracked open slightly, allowing the smell of the rain to float in softly. He sighed quietly, his fingers drifting down your bare side. For the first time in months, Simon felt at peace. Having you finally curled up in his arms made him just that little bit softer. Smoothing down his sharpened edges. He bent his head and brushed his lips to your scalp, a light hum leaving his throat.
“Si”.
He repeated the motion, tugging you further into him. He didn’t answer, there wasn’t any need. His actions spoke for him. Said the words he hadn’t yet said, though they weighed heavy on his tongue. Like molten lead.
Fuck. He’d do anything for you — anything. He’d burn the world if you asked him, no questions asked. Simon wondered briefly if you knew the levels he’d go to, just to see you smile. That’s why he did this, his work. He did it for you. To keep you safe. That’s all he wanted.
It hurt every time he left, his boots becoming heavier each time. His arms would wrap around you longer, hold you that little bit tighter. You never complained, not once. Seeing him off each deployment with a lingering kiss and a promise.
He felt your silken lips kiss a sensitive spot on his neck and he shuddered. The embers lighting deep in his stomach, a husky groan rumbled in his chest. You smiled against his skin, nuzzling gently.
Simon’s job was dangerous. You knew that. You’d seen enough evidence when he’d make it back home. Scars, broken bones, bruises and cuts. He’d never given you details, not wanting to burden you with that. Having you there was enough.
At the start, Simon had wondered if keeping you had given him a weakness. A tactical error. You’d carved into his heart and given him an emotion. Something he wasn’t even sure he was capable of anymore. He’d spent years within the army, specialist training to cut off that side of him, to become a ghost. Nothing. Isolated. But he was wrong. God he was so wrong. And he’d never been so happy to be wrong. You were his strength. A reason. Something to fight for. Something to live for. Something to come home for. 
————
Flashback
————
Hidden in a burnt out building, Ghost paced next to Price, waiting to hear from Soap. He’d picked out a sniper point a few streets down to try and locate their target. He’d gone alone against Simon’s wishes. Demanding to go with him, Price had vetoed the idea, telling Ghost to stand down, Soap could handle it.
Price turned to Simon and gave him a harsh glare, the continuous steps grating on his nerves. He grunted in response before grabbing the radio, unable to wait any longer.
“Soap? You there yet? What can you see? Can you see him?”.
There was a brief crackle before Soap’s distinctive voice sounded through, “Negative LT…3 on the ground floor, 2 on the first floor but—”, the radio splintered before carrying the sound again, “—But I-I’ve lost eyes on the Jack of Hearts, sorry…he ain’t here”.
Simon huffed in annoyance before radioing through, “All right…copy Soap”, he twisted looking at Price, “I think we should wait Sir, it’s a risk…no point clearing the building and spooking the target”.
Price almost felt the cigar drop out of his mouth, unsure if it was Simon Riley that had uttered those words. He was normally itching to clear out a terrorist hot spot.
“Repeat that”.
“I said we should stick it out Sir, no point wasting ammo and effort if he’s not there. It’s just 5 bodies we gotta clear out. Unnecessary risk”.
Simon could feel Price’s eyes burning through his mask, scorching his skin. He was thankful for the mask, hiding everything he’d thought to bury away, the sweat beaded at his brow. Even he had to admit this wasn’t like him. But, you. You. He couldn’t risk it. Not anymore. He had to get back to you. You needed him. And he needed you. 
Price nodded and ran a hand over his chin, “I—”.
He didn’t get to finish his sentence as one of the rookies in the corner piped up, scoffing with distaste, “Come on now Cap’n, are you serious?”, he snorted, “Why aren’t we going in? It’s 5 less scumbags on the planet. It’s not that risky…”, the rookie eyeballed Simon, seemingly unphased by his shorter height, “I didn’t realise The Ghost was such a pussy”, he laughed and patted Simon on the front of his tactical vest, “You lost your balls or something after you found that dead bitch the other day?”.
“What was that?”.
Rage. A blistering furnace burned bright inside him, his heart hammering against his chest violently. His vision turned red and before he could stop his body, Simon launched himself towards the arrogant rookie.
——
The pristine white sink turned a deep shade of red as Simon shoved his hands under the steady stream of water. The lukewarm liquid soaking his gloves. He cursed, as it making the cuts sting. He grimaced, looking up into the mirror, he could see a stain of blood leaking through the dark material of his balaclava. It was probably a mix of his with the fucking rookie’s. Scowling, he knew he’d have to explain to you why he had a bust lip when he got back.
His eyes darted to the corner of the room reflected in the mirror when he heard the door hinge squeak. Soap appeared slowly, a smug smirk hung on his lips. Simon already knew he’d have a headache before he left.
“What”, he spat, his northern accent carving the word harshly.
Soap had the audacity to laugh, folding his arms over his chest, his grin growing wider, “Did breaking his nose make you feel better?”.
Simon grunted, refusing to give an answer. It made him feel better for a few seconds, hearing the satisfying crunch of bone as his fist connected with it. But then you invaded his thoughts and he stopped. Guilt. You wouldn’t want him to do that.
“Y’know Riley”, Soap caught the wild glance from Simon and he coughed, correcting himself, “Sorry, L.T”, he smiled smugly, “Whoever the lass is…she must be something real special t’ya”.
The silence was thick. Palpable. Simon didn’t want to give anything away but it was obvious as his shoulders tensed.
Johnny flexed subconsciously, tapping his fingers against his forearm. He wondered briefly if he’d overstepped, concerned that Simon might try to strangle him. But the silence and rigid stance told him all he needed to know. He was right. Relaxing a little, he attempted to lighten the mood, “You’ll have to introduce me”.
“Fuck off MacTavish”.
Soap couldn’t see it but there was a hint of a smile curling Simon’s lips.
————
End flashback
————
Delicate. Like lace. Simon closed his eyes and basked in the feeling of your fingertips lazily grazing over the tattoo covering his left arm. You traced the skulls, letting your nails skim over the outlines. They were a part of him, as much as you were. His skin shivered when you stroked a sensitive spot near his shoulder. There was an ugly welt residing there. An old gunshot wound from Siberia.
“‘Bout 6 or 7 years ago”, his voice, thick and heavy like whisky, ran smooth down your spine, “Got pinned by a sniper—bastard—a lucky bastard mind you”.
He was so nonchalant about these things. Like it didn’t matter. Just another day to add amongst all the others. But to you, every scar and mark made your stomach knot. The thought of him hurting shattered you.
His thick fingers kneaded the base of your neck as you rested on his chest, ironing out the kinks hidden there. You let out an appreciative hum.
“Si…”.
“I know, just lemme yeah?”.
Simon knew you’d wanted to shower him with affection but he couldn’t resist putting his hands on you. How could he not? Without warning, he rolled you under him, resting his weight on his tattooed forearm besides your head. Your legs splayed open without thought, allowing him to slot between them.
You were so soft, so beautiful, so perfect. Splayed underneath him, like an angel of innocence. Wild hair framing your head like a halo against his pillow. But he, he was rough. His edges were sharp and nasty, cutting deep to the bone. He was nothing like you. He’d been tainted by the ugliness in the world, torn down and broken up. And you were like the first blossom of spring.
Your hand reached up to cup his face, pulling him from his thoughts. You must have sensed he was dwelling somewhere he shouldn’t.
“Simon”.
He bent down and captured your lips in a demanding kiss. It was harder than he intended but full of emotion. His tongue ran along the seam of your lips, begging for entrance. Granting it, you sighed happily into his mouth, your hands snaking around his neck, pulling him down so he was pressed against you.
Simon let his tongue run along yours, tasting you. A light hint of peppermint. He groaned into the kiss, letting his hand smooth down to the apex of your thighs.
You gasped when his calloused fingers found your clit, stroking over it with just enough pressure to have your thighs quiver around him. Fuck. He loved watching you fall apart. He needed you so badly. He wanted to drown in you.
Tearing himself from your lips, he planted hot, wet, opened mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbone, humming words of affection into your skin as his fingers continued their lazy pace.
“Si…fuck..oh”, you whimpered and your hips bucked on their own accord.
“Need you—”
“Me too love, fuck—”.
He’d never known anything like it. He was desperate for you, throbbing against the flesh of your thigh.
Sliding into you with a practised ease, Simon swore under his breath, you mewled, body arching to his. Your soaked core stretching deliciously around him.
The feeling never faded, only intensifying every time. Your legs wrapped around his, tangling together as he drove into you over and over. 
Linking his fingers with yours, he pushed your hand above your head, holding it firmly as he thrust deeper. Your breath caught, heart racing wildly in your chest, hammering next to his.
“You feel so good—”.
“Si…I-I—”.
“Let go love”, he whispered, leaning down to press a heated kiss to the dip of your throat, “I—fuck, I’m right there with you”, his words stumbled together, pleasure pulsing through his veins.
The high hit you hard, climax tearing through you like a white hot flash. It buzzed along your skin as you sobbed his name. Simon followed, feeling his body become lighter, his mind hazy with nothing but bliss.
Soaking in the afterglow, Simon pressed his forehead between the valley of your breasts, sighing contently. He didn’t want to press for too long, aware of his heavy bulk crushing your tiny frame.
Rolling to the side, Simon laid out on his back, dragging your body onto his chest, blunt fingernails scraping down your back, resting on the dip of your ass. His eyes were closed but he knew you were staring at him, he could feel the burn of your gaze.
“I’ve missed you”.
The confession felt better in the open. You wanted him to know you thought about him, always. Never questioning where your loyalty lay. It would always be him.
You saw Simon’s lip quirk up at the corner, the scar there only adding perfect detail to his handsome face.
“Oh yeah?”, the playful mock hung heavy on his northern accent.
You ignored the teasing tone, knowing it was a deflective measure. Simon struggled to accept he deserved love, affection - let alone someone actually missing him.
“Mhmm”, you hummed and leaned down, kissing his lips softly, “I always do”.
He swore his heart skipped a beat. He wondered if you noticed, pressed up against his bare chest. Keeping his eyes closed, he nodded into the pillow.
“I missed you too”.
Your lips curved up and Simon could feel your smile burn through his eyelids. He didn’t even have to look to know the words had lit you up.
——
He was going to miss this. Everything. The softness of your skin. How your body laid next to his during the night, instinctively curling into him, his large arm laying heavy around your waist. The vanilla scent of your shampoo which always lingered on his hoodie. He’d never complain, he carried it with him for as long as he could, drifting back to you whenever he could. Simon tilted his head, glancing down at your beautiful face. He looked at you reverently, words escaping before he could force them back down, “Make me stay, love”.
He desperately wished he didn’t have to go back, wanting to stay here with you, wrapped up in thick cosy blankets and silken pillows, watching the world pass by.
Leaning up to him, you ran your soft fingertips over his lips, “I wish I could”, you sighed gently, “But I know you’re needed, it’s your job..I can wait, I’m not going anywhere”.
Tilting his face into your palms, Simon swallowed thickly, wishing to sink into your heavenly touches, “Love—I—”.
“Stop”, you pressed your forehead to his, noses brushing together delicately, “I know, Si—please don’t apologise, you don’t need to”.
“I do…I should be here with you”.
“Please stop”, you kissed him tenderly, lips melded to his, “I meant what I said, it’s ok—I understand, I always have”.
He let out a deep sigh, “You’re too good for me”.
“Complete bullshit”.
Simon laughed, the sound deep and husky. It wasn’t often he heard you swear. He was becoming a bad influence, his northern ways imprinting upon you. Your eyes sparkled when you giggled with him, the sound caressing his ears. He stared at you, just absorbing. Wishing to take the mental image with him on his next deployment.  
He bent forward, nudging his nose along yours, “I love—”.
Before he could finish the sentence, you’d pressed your lips to his hurriedly drinking up the confession you’d so desperately wanted to hear. You’d take those words and carry them with you, always.
————
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