#I didn't realise how comforting and how much I love John until I got him back only for him to be ripped away again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wowifinallywatched · 4 months

Text

Listen...this is not my official more coherent thoughts around the Jigsaw installment of the fucking incredible Saw franchise that i normally like to post first but if you've ever wondered what it's like to watch a movie with me and my internal monologue well LOOK NO FURTHER

Coherent thoughts will be coming soon, but for now enjoy a raw reaction to whatever the FUCK THIS WAS I JUST FINISHED WATCHING AND I AKSBFKABF I JUST NEED TO SHARE THIS FEELING WITH SOMEONE HOLY FUCK-

JIGSAW

Listen if you're gonna be bringing this iconic and amazing as fuck series back it better be Fucking at the same level

Ah yes your standard creepy detective who makes sexist jokes like they get paid for it and no one does anything about it because “it's just who they are” and it's one of the bad qualities you have to adopt in about this person uh yeah no FUCK THA-

Okay I'm sorry I'm fucking sorry 39:33??!?!?!?!?!? FUCKING GOLD BEAUTIFUL STUNNING THAT WAS EVERYTHING IVE WANTED LISTEN I KNOW TRUST THE PROCESS OF THESE MOVIES DONT JUDGE TOO SOON BUT FUCK ME THAT WAS GOOD AND I WAS STILL TEETERING Listen I miss John okay-

WHAT THE FUCK IS GONNA HAPPEN IS HE GONNA COME BACK FROM THE DEAD OR IS THIS REALLY SMART AJBRIAHE Fucking skin suit or secret child ass akdbia

Eleanor DYING WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT Like i can judge this would totally be me as well BEAUTIFUL??? OKAY BITCH NOW I THINK YOU'RE CRAZY

OH MY GOD SHOW ME WHO THE FUCK POISENED YOUR SIPPY CUP BAG MOTHERFUCKER I AM LOSING MY SHIT NOT KNOWING IF JOHN REALLY IS ALIVE OR NOT FUChis

“He was my nephew” Oh my god he was his nephew I'm sorry I had to-

BRKJZISHWJBEJAHSIWBWIHSIS MOTHERFUCKING SAW MY FUCKING GOD YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN WJDBQJ PUTTING HIM IN JOHNS CASKET HAHAHHA HOW THE FUCK DID THEY DO THAT QUIETLY OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE MOVIES SO MUCH THEY'RE ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD AND JUST AJDBSIHDJW OBSESSED I CANNOT OH MY GOD I LOVE IT ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SCENES IN MY BRAIN IT WAS EITHER GONNA BE TWO OPTIONS, JOHN WAS GONNA BE THERE OR HE WASN'T BUT JUST IN SAW STYLE, A SURPRISE THIRD OPTION HAS APPEARED HAHAHAH Its like when you watch these movies, you're thinking so hard about one part of it (where the fuck is John) that you become completely oblivious to other options (surprise Mr. Coma has appeared) ALSO I WORK IN THE FUNERAL INDUSTRY AND THERE IS STRICT LAW THAT YOU CANNOT OPEN UP A COFFIN INSIDE THE CEMETERY SO H A

I'm trying to bring logic into these movies when I just watched a man get turned into a human milkshake

But this also means that someone could have taken John's body and has been using his DNA But would the tests come back saying the DNA is dead or alive? Like someone purposely put his DNA under the guys nails to throw them off who's really playing these games I wonder if it's the OG Dr. saw bathroom who's running the show If John really is alive that would be fucking perfect This psycho mortuary girl better not have dug up John himself to fulfill her obsession I SWEAR- OH MY GOD SHE HAS THE OG SAW STOPPPP HAHAHAHAH Wait wait NO NO NO THIS IS A SET UP I SWEAR OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVE

everyone's like “oh copy cats copy cats” but it's actually the fucking detectives that study these cases of jigsaw everyone calm your tips MY TITS ARE NOT CALM WHERE IS THE DAUGHTER NO IM NOT FUCKING AROUND WHERE IS HIS DAUGHTER I SWEAR

Oh my god I hear remnants of the saw music as they drive off from the house 🥺 LITTLE PIGGY IS STILL IN PLAY LES GOOOO Everytime I see VAIDUWOFJKSHEIEHDIJWKDNWKJFKSBEKNWKDJEKDBOSBRKANJDHSID JOHN JOHN SOBDJSBDIAHDIHA I JUST CHOKED ON MY CEREAL OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN MY JIGGY SAWWY MAN IM GONNA CRY HOLY FUCK IVE MISSED YOU NSKFBSJS HOW THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE IN A FUCKING MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK NO I DO NOT TRUST WHAT I SEE ARE YOU A TWIN BROTHER OR SOME SHIT I AM LOSING MY MIND WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DID THEY REPLACE YOUR BODY BUT THE TEST SUBJECTS WOULD HAVE COME BACK IS THIS A HALLUCINATION HOLY SHIT I AM ABOUT TO BREAK THIS FUCKING TABLE HOLY FUCKING SHIT My boy you look like you've aged so much Oh my god that misdiagnosis hit way too close to home alright I am John number one protector BUT HOW THE FUCK IS HE ALIVE BECAUSE THE TUMOUR AND THE SKABKFJA John baby listen i love you so much and I love the game you've got going on and you give the best monologue but HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ALIVE

Listen surely those jigsaw pieces are a set up because surely not even the most dumbass of cops would keep that in their fucking FREEZER HAHAHAH

I am absolutely fucked I trust none of you bitches except daddy mortuary

AWWWWWWWWW MEANING BEHIND THE PIG HEAD MENTIONED SO CASUALLY THAT IS SO CUTE JOHN

John is so fucking extra he has all these props and then uses a single shotgun

This is more trying to pick who Johns new apprentice is and i don't like any of them

GIRL WHY WOULD YOU WEAR BOOT HEELS TO THIS SCAVENGER HUNT

Listen John sliding the door to people's eternal doom just hits different okay

BACKWARDS OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN YOU ARE SO SMART It’s literally been the EXACT SAME ALL THESE YEARS PLAY BY THE RULES HE NEVER SAID YOU HAD TO SHOOT EACH OTHER FOR YOUR FREEDOM THAT WAS NOT A RULE HE SET IN PLACE HAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS AND I WAS CLAIMING HE WAS USING A SIMPLE ASS SHOTGUN OF COURSE IT WASN'T JUST A SHOTGUN I KNOW BETTER THAN THIS

DADDY MORTUARY WAS THE DOCTOR THAT FUCKED UP HIS TEST RESULTS OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU ABSOLUTE LAZY DICKWAD OF A MAN YOU ARE DOOMED HAHAH

Wait what the fuck this is sus whats happening ABDKJSJEBWJDHIWVDJHS I THOUGHT HIS BODY WAS JUST ROLLING AT FIRST WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING NO NO WAY DADDY MORTUARY IS JOHNS NEW APPRENTICE DETECTIVE YOU AND ME ARE THE SAME WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM HIM NO YOU WERE THE ONE I TRUSTED NO FUCKING WAY THE ONLY ONE I TRUSTED TURNED OUT TO BE THE MAN BEHIND IT ALL HAHAHAHAH FUCK WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN FUYCJA FUCKABAFSIABKFJBKAF HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS HOLY FUCK LISTEN I STARTED TO DOUBT THIS ONE THEN I TOLD MYSELF DON’T DO THAT BECAUSE IT’S WHAT HAPPENS EVERY TIME I ALWAYS THINK THEY’RE NOT AS GOOD AS THE PREVIOUS ONE BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T REACHED THAT CLIMATIC PLOT TWIST THAT PULLS ALL THE PIECES TOGETHER AND THEN YOU REACH IT AND YOU THINK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE FUCKING PAST AND PRESENT PLAY THAT THIS SERIES IS SO GOOD AT

OH MY GOD I GOT SO EXCITED THINKING MY BABY JIGGY SAWWY MAN WAS ALIVE BUT NOPE IT WAS JUST THE PAST GAMES SOBS AND IT’S SO FUNNY BECAUSE NOW IF YOU REWATCHED THIS MOVIE YOU’D SEE ALL THE SIGNS POINTING TO THE TRUTH You just have to follow the rules You just have to follow the signs pointed in the direction of the movie plot OH FUCK ME MOVIE GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH YOUR CLEVER WAYS Think about it if you really listened to this movie, it’s literally telling you exactly what’s going to take place Oh fuck me HAHAHAHAH I NEED TO REWATCH ALL THESE MOVIES NOW WITH THAT MINDSET THIS HAS MIND FUCKED ME I CAN’T BELIEVE IT THE FACT WE WERE WATCHING THE OG GAME WITH THE DADDY MORTUARY BUT SIKE IT WAS TEN YEARS AGO

Not gonna lie Daddy Mortuary was kind of hot Jesus I need to learn his real name I'm sure someone said it I was just blinded by his good looks-

I AM LOSING MY MARBLES I LITERALLY CONTINUE DO ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW HAHAHA LIKE HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT MOMENT WHEN HE STARTED GETTING UP LOST IT GAVE ME FEELINGS BACK TO THE FIRST SAW MOVIE WHERE JOHN SLOWLY GOT UP AND REVEALED HIMSELF Oh my god Daddy Mortuary was the son John never got to have *GROSS SOBBING IN THE CORNER*

AND SLIDING THE DOOR SHUT JUST LIKE JOHN LIKE JIGGY SAWY FATHER LIKE JIGGY SAWY SON SO THIS GAME HAPPENED FUCKING YONKS AND WOULD HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED BEFORE AMANDA AND BEFORE WHATEVER THE FUCK DETECTIVE FACE WAS I ALREADY DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME I just can't I can't believe they still gave us John Kramer content while he's still fucking dead that was so fucking clever You can't have a saw movie without the original Jigsaw in it and they fucking keep it alive in a smart way, not forced, but smart WAIT DADDY MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY I GET IT THE GAMES HAPPENED TEN YEARS AGO AND SUCH BUT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY DID HE MOVE A WHOLE ASS CASKET AND REPLACE HIS CASKET WITH ANOTHER actually he works in a mortuary he would have the skills to do that HAHAHAHAH FUCKKKKKKK Listen this movie literally gave us John content, fucking ecstatic about it, then showed it was past John and that he's not really here right now

BUT THEY LEFT THE FUCKING DOOR WIDE OPEN FOR JOHN TO STILL BE ALIVE BY HIM NOT BEING IN THAT CASKET AND I KNOW ITS PROBABLY MORE A “They just put the body elsewhere/ replaced his casket” BUT LISTEN LET ME HAVE THIS SMALL OUNCE OF HOPE OKAY

ALSO DID I FUCKING CALL IT OR DID I FUCKING CALL IT ABOUT PUTTING JOHNS DNA UNDER HIS NAILS ON PURPOSE FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT BITCH AND IM REALLY PROUD BECAUSE I CAN NEVER DO THAT WITH THESE MOVIES FUCK YES GO TEAM 1 FOR US 16 MILLION FOR THE MOVIE OKAY LET ME HAVE THIS ONE- Not me going on about how old John looks and it's literally exactly how he looks in all the other movies HAHAHAHAHAH

OH MY GOD IN THAT SCENE WITH JOHNS NEIGHBOUR AND LEG-O-LOSS I THOUGHT NEIGHBOUR WAS IN SHOCK (of course we find out because she was his neighbor) BECAUSE JOHN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD BUT IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE THEY WERE NEIGHBOURS NO ONE EVER BATTED AN EYE OR SAID BUT JIGSAW IS DEAD BUT JOHN KRAMER IS DEAD OH MY GODDDDD ANOTHER FUCKING SIGN TO JUST PAY ATTENTION TO THAT'S BEING SAID AND IT WAS REVEAL THE WHOLE MOVIE TO YOU

Just oh my God okay I need to lay this out Daddy Mortuary- Okay no let me find his real name Also poor fucking Eleanor she really was just a Saw fanatic and now she's wrapped up in something she doesn't even realise IF ONLY SHE KNEW BECAUSE SHE WOULD BE LOVING HER OWN STORY RIGHT NOW LOGAN HIS NAME IS LOGAN Alright so Logan fucked up John's test results by mislabelling (the poor other fucking dude that got those results) which i feel like was a bit of an add on instead of reveal WAIT BUT IF THIS GAME HAPPENED BEFORE THE OTHER GAMES IN THE OTHER MOVIES Oh my fuck then he would have no reason to mention it in any of his past monologues because he already faced the man that did it and seeked his ‘revenge’ OH MY GOD OKAY REDEEMED THAT WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT BUT HE'S BEEN REDEEMED CARRY ON So John sets up one of his classic games, with the machine that was “never used” or they never found the bodies for OH MY GOD LOGAN GAVE HER THE ANSWER. LITERALLY JUST TOLD HER. BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW. HE WAS APART OF THAT GAME. HE WOULD HAVE RECOGNISED THE MACHINE STRAIGHT AWAY. HE LITERALLY TOLD HER BUT OF COURSE YOU WOULD NEVER SUSPECT IT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ACCUSATION HAHAHAH SHITTTTT I keep trying to write this out calmly and then get really Hyped up forgive me- The game begins with everyone having their sins AND YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS SO WEIRD THE GAME STARTED WITH SOMEONE STILL UNCONSCIOUS, IT FELT VERY UNLIKE JOHN BECAUSE HE'S ALL ABOUT HAVING A FAIR CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF and when we finally got to see the result of that scene where John is racing out to save him because it was an unfair start and he wanted to personally give him a second chance IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING- I wonder how far apart these events were to the previous movie

ANYWAY

My brain isn’t working i literally can't stop thinking about John being a protective father to him John takes him under his wing seeing his pain, seeing his grief and to teach him its not about anger AND LOGAN TEACHING JOHN SOME THINGS TOO SOBS listen, John is the most forgiving person IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE 8 MOVIES TO SAY OTHERWISE BUT LET ME EXPLAIN- HE GIVES THEM A CHANCE TO CONFESS AND THEN BE FREE HE'S ONLY PUNISHING THEM BECAUSE THEY WON'T CONFESS THEMSELVES NOT BECAUSE HE'S MAD Oh my god i really am protecting a serial killer BUT HEY IT'S FICTIONAL And it is fucking wild to me that no one ever found these bodies (JUST LIKE MY BOY ADAM SOBS) and so Logan planned and waited until the perfect moment to fuck with the world Except there's one thing different from John to the other people that have tried to take his place John gives them a fair game, just play by the rules Amanda, Detective Douche, Logan - They all seemed revenge. They gave them a game, but it wasn't always fair, it wasn't always a game that could be won. Oh wait but Detective banana peel ass didn't exactly confess to freeing Logans wife's murderer so he didn't play the game right OKAY THAT WOULD BE VALID THEN It's just crazy to me that a game happened in real time and we technically got to see exactly what it would have looked like but we never saw the actual game

AND OF COURSE LOGAN CHOSE A GUY THAT DOOMED HIS WIFE'S DEATH AS THE GUY TO GET NO CHANCE FOR REDEMPTION TO REPLICATE HIS OWN EXPERIENCE HAHAHAH LOVE THAT

This was so fucking clever and i never want to stop talking about these movies oh my god

BUT OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVES FUCKING HEAD GETTING SPLICED LIKE A FUCKING BANANA PEEL I CANT- THAT WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL HORRIFYING AND DISGUSTING BUT SO FLUID AND BEAUTIFUL I cannot wait to watch the new movie and see the graphics All things considered theyve really done these movies justice all through the years Like I'm so fucking happy with the ending of this movie And I fucking adore that we got to see John again But I'm not gonna lie my heart is a little broken he's not actually alive and well- I KNOW WE LITERALLY SAW HIM GET AUTOPSIED wait Was Logan the one to do his autopsy I remember he mentioned something about John being full autopsied but I don't remember if he meant he did it himself WAIT ITS ALWAYS BEEN THE SAME MORTUARY HAND TO DO THE SAW AUTOPSIES HASN'T IT OH MY FUCKING GOD SO HE KNEW THE PLAN ALL ALONG HE FUCKING KNEW OH MY GOD I AM EMOTIONAL-

Now I need to go back and watch the other movies again, for many reasons, but to see if it was Logan all along

I JUST READ MY NOTES WHILE WATCHING PREVIOUS SAW MOVIES AND I MADE A COMMENT ABOUT HOW SUS IT IS THAT THERE’S BEEN ONE CONSISTENT MORTUARY HAND LOOKING AFTER THE SAW VICTIMS HAHAHAH CALLED IT (possibly)

God I don’t drink but right now I feel like I need a drink

ONTO THE NEXT ONE WHERE YOU REALLY CAN’T PREDICT WHAT WE’LL EVER GET AKSBFKBF

#I didn't realise how comforting and how much I love John until I got him back only for him to be ripped away again #fuck these saw movies boggle me and I'm obsessed with it #jigsaw #jigsaw apprentices #saw memes #just saw thoughts #saw franchise #sawposting #saw films #just saw things #saw movies #billy the puppet #john kramer #logan nelson

9 notes · View notes

flusteredmoonn · 5 months

Text

dear john; remus lupin

summary: "but i took your matches, before fire could catch me," in which she shows him that his differences from the typical side of society is not something to fear.

tags: (SFW), angst to fluff?, hurt/comfort, drabble??, fast paced, implied gryffindor!reader, implied pre-existing relationship, vulnerable!remus, angsty!remus, lowkey selfloathing!remus, she/her pronouns, third person y/n. can be read as a sequel to 'back to decemeber' or as a standalone fic.

words: 700+

speak now tracklist. request.

"it's not that simple! you don't understand!" the boy aggressively shouted as he began to pace around the dormitory, "that's why i know we'll never truly work. it's better, for both of us, if you just moved on!"

"so help me to understand," she replied calmly, crossing her arms over her chest as her face softened slightly.

"it's complicated, it-"

"it's only complicated if you don't explain it to me, i want to help you, remus," her voice very quickly became stern which stopped the boy in his tracks, causing him to turn to face her. he looked at a loss for words, stunned at her bluntness as he searched for the explanatory words.

"things are different for me! i can't just be all reckless and spontaneous all the time," his voice was now exasperated, resuming his pacing as he gestured with his hands expressively.

"says the man who frequently plans reckless and spontaneous pranks throughout the school with his friends," y/n sassed, a slight smile hiding on her face.

"yes, but that's entirely more complicated, this is my whole point!" remus begged, stopping again as he became more solemn, "i have to plan my participation, and the boys have to plan my participation, based on what the moon phase is," he stressed, voice rasping and emphasising his distain.

the boy didn't stop there, he continued to ramble at his girlfriend about how his life was affected by his condition and the long lasting effects in the days after a full moon.

that moment was when she realised. he centred his life around it. he thought he was a werewolf, all of the time, and that's what everybody saw him as. even his friends. even her.

"wait, wait, wait," she suddenly spoke, as the boy stopped mid sentence, "i think i understand now," a brief smile of comfort braced her features.

"remus, you're not the wolf. not right now, not unless it's a full moon," her voice was definitive and sure.

"but i, i am! greyback-" remus became hesitant, he was unsure of what he was saying, "it lives inside of me, it's one of the only constants i have," he confessed vulnerably. her eyes were sincere as she processed his words, thinking of an appropriate reply.

"it's why we won't work, not in the end," he reiterated, "i don't want you to get hurt, everyone i care about inevitably gets hurt because of me. i don't want that for you," he finished in barely a whisper.

"what about james? or sirius? or peter? you haven't ever hurt them before," she questioned assuredly, almost certain that this would stump him. it didn't. she knew it when his face dropped.

"not physically, but emotionally. for years. before they found out. it was turmoil up until they knew," he confirmed, avoiding her gaze all of a sudden.

"and now? everything's surely got to be much better," y/n guessed, her voice dropping and octave with her uncertainty.

"i guess, but that doesn't change who i am," the boy refuted confidently.

"who are you, then?"

"i'm destined to bring horror and melancholy everywhere i go, and destroy everything i love in my wake, all because of the fact i transform into this beast every full moon. and i fail to remember who i've hurt when i do, or what i do," remus raised his voice slightly, trying desperately for it not to break.

"no you're not," the girl affirmed, looking at him as she took several paces forward.

"then, what am i?"

"you're smart, and witty, and brave, and funny, and kind, and loyal, and caring," she reached out to the boy, grasping his shoulders as she spoke, as if it would further infuse her point within the boy.

"and a monster," he added in the same tone y/n was using, hoping to convince her.

"no, you're not. you're not who you turn into," she ran her hand through the ends of his hair whilst she spoke, "you're the furthest thing from it. outside of the night of a full moon, you wouldn't even dare hurt a fly," confidence ran through her words.

"you're not a monster, remus lupin, you're a softie," she smiled up at him cheekily.

98 notes · View notes

verdemoun · 19 days

Text

jumping ahead in the timeswap au because i am the captain personally i headcanon jack not making it to 20. i think life had well and truly defeated him and he was too tired to keep running, and he ended up hanged for ross's murder.

side tangent a) imagine the emotional devastation the VDLs in modern era would feel reading that. there's a grainy photo/sketch and they can almost tell what jack looks like, how much he looks like john, how old he already looks at 19, and then there's the noose sitting on his shoulders waiting for the trapdoor to be pulled. the article portrays ross as a poor elderly man of honor killed by jack marston, outlaw, a dangerous sociopath

side tangent b) john and jack being reunited. john really struggling not to be angry because he wanted/expected so much better for jack: knowing he was never an ideal father (or even a good father) but how much he didn't want his son to be like him, how clear he had been to never become an outlaw. then, the grief. it's only been 3 years but being able to see how much those three years have changed jack, physically and mentally, just by the way he carries himself and that dead, destroyed look in his eyes. jack struggling not to be angry for a lot of the same reasons because at 16 he was left taking care of abigail as heartbreak and illness killed her, and a ranch they could barely take care of together. jack realising his mom, dad and little sister got to play happy family in current day without him.

well now that that's out of the way: dues-ex-isaac morgan

isaac morgan deciding jack marston is his personal responsibility. sure, the whole recipe of staying in a house for a few weeks slowly learning about the current day slowly works for most VDLs, but isaac understands that not only is jack 19 (a teenager) but the culture shock isn't quite as severe going from 1914 as it was 1899.

isaac throws rocks at the window until jack sneaks out his first night in modern day. he forces a helmet onto his head and gives a vague warning that 'it's going to be faster than a horse', before setting off at very illegal speeds on his motorbike

jack immediately loves it. it's very much what he needed: the adrenaline, feeling like he's rebelling, seeing the chrome and crowds of city as a blur become more and more recognizable in outdated suburbs until they're pushing 100mph on the highway

isaac strategically takes him out to the desert, because the desert really hasn't changed that much, and pulls out a bottle of whiskey. they lay down and trauma-bond about how fucked their lives have been (isaac, who experienced the timewarp like a child moving house and had to teach things to his 19th century mother, jack, who grew up in the chaos of the VDL gang with his mother as the only constant: deadbeat dads taken to the metaphorical extreme).

'there's only two things you really need to know: you can't buy alcohol until you're 21 and cigarettes are actually really bad for you' 'cigarettes are BAD??????'

isaac introduces him to cliche teenage emo music through a dodgy bluetooth speaker. jack marston actually listens to music for the first time

arthur getting a frantic phone call from john saying jack snuck out

charles offering to help track them down, because they immediately know isaac is involved

charles and arthur finding a drunk isaac and jack air guitaring to mcr in the middle of the desert

isaac and jack are instant best friends. instead of the coddling most of the gang do when something is new and initially intimidating, isaac laughs at him and it's honestly more comforting. like yeah, traffic lights take a hot second, but jack does feel dumb for not realising that the changing lights and loud beeping meant it was time to walk/run.

isaac literally doesn't hold his hand unless he has to, meanwhile jack has had months of living alone as an outlaw in 1914. they balance each other out in the worst ways. isaac will say they shouldn't walk through a dark alley and jack is like pfft if someone tries to mug us i can take them

their hangouts go from jack bookworm marston helping isaac study at college to isaac being the one calling his dad because 'heeey we might be in jail' in 3 hours. all parental figures involved are going grey with stress

#rdr2 timewarp au #isaac morgan #jack marston #john marston #arthur morgan

19 notes · View notes

peakyblindersxx · 3 years

Text

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 6 of ?)

gif by my queen @michaelgreys, i'm basically her fanblog now but im not mad about it :) i mean just look at him!!1! i almost fainted

a/n: first of all, if you stuck around to this point, tysm for reading!!! this has been one of the most amazing fics ive ever been a part of and it's all thanks to the gorgeous @stxdyblr-2k, who generously took control of the next few parts. her brain is beautiful and we all owe her flowers or something. when i read what she sent me i couldn't bring myself to change much except for some small edits, so pls give her lots of love if you like it!!!! i'm still working on requests as well :)

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03

prompt: nothing this good can last forever. john doesn't know how to feel, and neither do you.

warnings: nsfw! a teensy bit of smut, angsty as fuck prepare yourselves accordingly, a lil fluff if u squint, yeah this fucked me up

Obviously, it wasn't the last time.

Over the coming months you had many last times; his mouth pressed against your neck said as much. As his responsibility at work increased, you'd find yourself heading to his office after your lectures and night classes more often, perched on his lap, smoking, while he finished up his numbers under your critical gaze.

Thomas was more than aware; his snarky comments made it obvious he had his ways of monitoring your actions. You'd seen the dark car lurking outside your rallies and lectures, and no matter how you'd try to throw him off, not even telling Ada where you were going and even, in a moment of desperation, through your neighbours back window, somehow, his silent shadow was still looming. He was practically begging you to make a mistake, to give everyone an easy out. You just couldn't give him the satisfaction. You knew Tommy saw the world as a chess board, always several moves ahead of his opponent. Even when you played him in chess club all those years ago, you could outflank him if you thought on your feet and kept him thinking he was winning until you obliterated him in the end game. It was brutal, sure. But as he told you, there were bigger games at play. You had your own. Thomas could read your mail, intercept your phone calls and have you followed, but he couldn't hear what you said out of earshot. Your lot could smell an interceptor in your ranks, so spying at that close of a proximity was out of the question.

That's why he'd decided to let you have John. You knew his silent approval and his constant management of the narrative meant he saw a tactical gain. There was only so much information he could get from Ada, but John? He just had to agitate him in the right way and all your secrets would come tumbling out. It was difficult hiding your world from John; of what he knew of, he was supportive, quizzing you over current affairs and political discourse, listening intently. Yet, you had to watch your mouth. You had to keep a barrier up and you knew John sensed the distance. Fundamentally, there was nothing either of you could do.

So here you were, in a comfortable limbo. Your days were filled with work, evenings were for lectures and reading groups at the city's university, Ada and you often stopped for a drink or three; you'd go by your flat to freshen up, and then to John's office. Sometimes, you wouldn't visit for a week or so when the guilt sent you over the edge, it was draining to be living so many lives and knowing you were betraying the person you loved most on earth. Ada was oblivious, taking you on her nightly adventures filled with men, dancing and waiting while she was busy kissing in dark corners. Sometimes a young blinder would ask if you wanted to be walked home. The first occurrence you thought was sweet, but as the nights it occurred coincided with nights John seemed extra pent up, you'd decided to ask. The boy, who couldn't be older than twelve but who you knew was trained in using firearms and had a revolver pinned to his hip and a razor in his cap, looked confused.

"Mate, it's not a tough question. Why do you come and ask?"

"There's a phone call." He shrugs, "Isaiah or Michael tells us to go and get you."

Isaiah and Michael were somewhat aware? Fucking hell. Your fling was basically a military campaign at this point, so many of your friends were complicit. The little lads who ran as messengers around Birmingham were complicit. You had to just end it.

But when you sat on his thigh, his chin hooked over your shoulder, it felt so worth it. He never turned you away when you came crawling back. He never mentioned it until after you were finished, hooked under his arm.

"Fucking missed you, gorgeous."

Sometimes he'd remind you not to be a stranger with a wink, but you could tell it was tearing him apart too. He never once came to you. That's how he could justify it in his mind; obviously, the bare minimum was not having sex with his sister's best friend, but in failing that, waiting for you to initiate it was somewhat better. He barely talked to Ada now, citing work as an excuse, but truly the guilt sickened him. He couldn't believe he was prepared to continuously hurt his little sister and betray her. But every time you turned up at his door, he couldn't find it in himself to turn you away. In his mind, every single time you came to visit him was the last time he'd let it happen, yet he was always waiting for you to come back, his blind closed to signal he was prepared. He never would call, it had to be your choice.

You'd been off and on for over five months now. It was so difficult to hide in plain sight, but you just couldn't stop yourself. Neither of you purposefully meant for this to be happen but fuck, was it fun.

For your birthday he'd gifted you a fur coat from the same shop his sister, aunt and the fashionable crowd of Birmingham had purchased theirs. He joked that you looked like a "proper razor chaser", kissing you when you pouted at his teasing, begging you to wear only the coat when you fucked him next. It was a practice for blinders to buy a coat for their wives and girlfriends as a status symbol. You were neither, but John claimed that being his "favourite lass" also counted.

John was a laugh, but you knew at any time he could close his door to you. Until he decided he couldn't be bothered with you, you weren't going to get caught. You just had to be careful until he got bored.

***

You did end up putting a foot wrong. It was a Thursday night; you were sitting on the edge of John's desk while he was ridding you of your blouse. It was past midnight, Birmingham was asleep. You almost didn't bother coming out tonight, but you knew John had lost a deal and you wanted to be there for him. Your skirt and stockings were strewn across the desk with his shirt, vest and waistcoat, muddled into the files and papers which were once neatly stacked.

His fingers were pumping in and out of you, his mouth lapping at your breast, your head tipped back in euphoria, groaning. The stress made him more affectionate and tender with you, and it was nights like these that made you wonder. Wonder if this could ever be something more, something real.

John's body suddenly pulled away from yours, quickly turning the light off.

"John, what-" You were cut off by John’s hand over your mouth, muffling your words.

"Shut up and get behind the desk." He hissed. "Someone's coming upstairs."

You quickly grabbed your clothes from the shiny oak surface and crouched, hiding yourself from view, quickly making yourself decent. You weren't going to get shot through the head with your tits out. You listened to the stairs creek, and it sounded like a group. You two were easily outnumbered. They were talking, but the thick panels of wood muffled their voices.

As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the cracks in the door giving the room a dulled glow, you could make out the figure of John. He was free of his shirt, toned body on display, standing with his back flat to the wall, revolver produced from a discreet notch in the door frame, gaze fixed on where they'd enter. He was tense, ready. The door was unlocked from the outside, the door handle twisting.

John's lip shifted in confusion yet still he kept his trigger finger ready, not a single shake from your general.

The light flicked on and a shriek rang out. It was blinding, and you stood up slightly dazed. Finn was in the doorway, John next to him clutching his chest, panting and lowering the gun.

"Jesus Christ, Finn, can't you knock like a normal person? Scared the shit out of us." John bellowed, shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his body, resting his hands on the edge of the desk as he regained his breath.

"You're the one who pointed a gun at me! I didn't even know you were in 'ere!" Finn yelped.

The commotion had attracted the attention of Ada and Isaiah, who had come running and stopped in their tracks upon seeing you standing behind John's desk in the middle of the night. They weren't stupid. John was topless, your clothes obviously rumpled, both with matching tousled hair and practically stinking of guilt. You'd been caught red handed. Ada's eyes flicked between both you and John, and you could practically see the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in her mind, all the moments she found questionable since you'd returned suddenly making sense, realising she had been deceived by the two people who she was meant to trust most in life. Finn looked absolutely crushed, he'd never been able to conceal his emotions as well as his older brothers and sister, linking his fingers through Ada's, squeezing her hand.

"I forgot to drop this off earlier." Finn stated, holding up a money box, "Ada had keys so we thought we'd sneak in so I wouldn't get done by Tommy. We did call round yours, Y/N. We thought you were in bed."

"I'm sorry." You said. It was not enough but you just didn't know what else to say. You couldn't make it right, you'd really fucked up this time. Tears pricked at your eyes, as Ada examined you in silence.

John stepped in front of you defensively. "Look, Ada-"

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, her voice shaking with rage. You and John exchanged a glance. "I said, how fucking long?"

"Five months, six in a fortnight." He answered.

Isaiah whistled lowly. "That's fucked. I thought it was only a few times, that it'd finished."

"Never really over when it's John is it." Finn interjects, you glance to him, were you just one in a long string? You shouldn't be surprised but it was easy to pretend he may actually care about you.

"You've been fucking around for six months behind my back?" Ada yelped, Finn trying to comfort her but she pulled away from him. "And you fucking knew Iz."

"I'd expect this from you, yeah? Wouldn't put anything past you these days.." she sneered at John, "But you? You?! You're meant to be my best mate, but here you are sneaking about fucking my brother?"

"Ada-" you began, eyes welling with tears.

"I thought I could trust you. You're just another fucking razor chaser, aren't you?" She spits. "That's why you came back."

"No it wasn't, Ada-"

Her eyes flashed with anger, but this time John was on the receiving end. "You bought her that fucking coat ,didn't you? The fur one. You did! Fuck's sake!" Her fists were clenched, shoulders squared. For the first time in your life, you understood why crowds parted for Ada Shelby. Understood all the free drinks and cab rides, the nervous serving staff declaring your meal on the house (always acknowledged by Ada with a hefty tip), understood why the men of Birmingham didn't last long with her.

"Did it feel good to swan about town in that fucking coat, while acting as though you cared about me? It's so fucking embarrassing. All trussed up because my knobhead big brother makes you feel special? Thanks for rubbing it in my face."

"Ada, I love you. I never meant to hurt you, I got caught up and that's on me. It's my fault."

"You're not acting like you love me. This isn’t what love is, Y/N." She retorted.

You couldn’t do anything but nod. She was right.

John opened his mouth to speak, Ada silencing him, a scowl darkening her features.

"I don't care what you have to say. Any of you. Who else knows?"

"Thomas, Michael, Arthur-" John listed off slowly, each name prompting Ada to break down a little bit more in front of you.

"I didn't know Arthur knew." You said pointedly, John sending you an exasperated glance. He was planning on dealing with that later, but right now was about his sister. Fuck him if he thought you were going to stick around much longer. You didn't want to hear him justify everyone else knowing about your fling with your best friend being left completely in the dark.

"That all you have to say for yourself?" Ada snaps at you.

"I have fucking no defense, do I Ada? I should've walked away." You pushed your hair back, frustrated at yourself, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You begged yourself not to cry. Tears wouldn't help anything.

"Why didn't you?"

You didn't know. Your silence only riled her up.

"Why didn't you fucking walk away?" Ada yelled, slamming her hands on the desk.

You felt hot tears run down your face, quickly moving your hands to dab at your tears.

"Don't you dare fucking cry. After all you've done, you don't get to cry in front of me." Ada growled at you, John going to shush her, obviously wanting to comfort you. "You can all fuck off. You've all lied to me and gone behind my back. Fuck’s sake, you could've just told me. You could've just told me."

"We didn't want to hurt you." John said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder but she flinches away.

"This hurts so much more. You get that you all lying to me is so much worse, don't you?"

"We weren't thinking."

"You really fucking weren't." Ada laughs bitterly, shaking her head, blinking away tears. "Fuck you lot."

She stormed out, tailed by Finn, begging her to slow down and talk to him, protesting his innocence in the situation. Isaiah hesitated in the doorway, his eyes flickering between you and John.

"I had no idea you two've been at it for so long."

"Iz, fuck off yeah? I've had enough today." John shot back, sliding across the desk towards you. "You alright, lass?"

"We're done here, John."

He slid off the table, his hand cupping your face, "Hey, gorgeous, I get it but don't go breaking my heart tonight. Can we just leave this for tomorrow? Sleep on it."

The idea of getting any sleep at all tonight was laughable, you'd be up all night replaying these moments and torturing yourself. Tonight couldn't get any worse so you had to finally end it. Now was the right time.

"John, it should've never happened."

"But it did."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over."

"Y/N. You know for me it was never just about-"

"You're making it difficult. Stop making it difficult. Whatever you say isn't going to change that right now we have to do the right thing."

"I know you're right, but I don't want to let go. Is it so wrong to want you? I adore you, you know that."

You wouldn't meet his eyes. Sighing, John pressed his forehead to the side of your head, chin brushing your shoulder, eyes closing. He was begging you to stay with him. There had to be a solution, you'd figure it out together. His voice was cracking, eyes glassy. He looked so much younger when he was pleading. The tall bloke who terrorised the Midlands with his razor rimmed cap, a revolver in his hand, and a ruthless trigger finger had vanished. You wanted to stay, burning to curl up with him and for him to kiss it better.

"I should go." You told him. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh before pulling away, nodding.

"I'd drive you home but obviously-"

"Obviously."

John suddenly turned from you, eyes narrowing at Isaiah who was still hovering at the door. "Thought I told you to fuck off. Make yourself useful and get Y/N home safely." His tone was ice cold once again.

Isaiah nodded, offering his arm to you. You reached the door and instinctively looked back at John. His eyes met yours, staring at you from his desk, just as you knew he would. He prepared himself to watch you leave every night, but this time was different. That was it with you two.

Isaiah strode down the street with you in silence. You were tucked into his side as was customary with the upcoming blinders who were particularly ambitious, but there was no relaxed chat.

"Isaiah. What’re you thinking?" You asked, voice tinged with nervousness.

He sighed, running his free hand across his jaw, "That was intense in there."

"Just how he is." You shrugged.

"Does he love you or sommet?"

"Fuck knows… does it matter?"

"Of course it does. Do you love him?"

"Drop it. None of that matters, it shouldn't have happened in the first place so it can’t," You snapped, the anger at the situation you'd created suddenly overwhelming.

Isaiah whistled, raising his brow at your obvious turmoil. "You're in fucking deeper than you want to admit."

He walked you up your path, watching you turn the key to the side door leading to your bedsit. You paused, turning to him.

"Iz… I don't know what to do next."

It was so dark, you could see his face only by the lit cigarette burning to embers between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, pausing before delivering his carefully laid out plan of avoidance. Obviously the event of him crossing the Shelbys and losing their good graces weighed heavily on his mind. You nodded, listening intently, noting his ideas of relocation but he explained they were a final resort. The best thing to do was try to regain their trust; in the long run, he had calculated, it was the only option that didn't result in your life being haunted by the Shelbys. Even if they left you alone, their enemies would make a point to go after you, seeing you as an easy target. The other option was to leave the country.

"Good luck, Y/N. I mean it." He muttered as you turned the handle to the temporary safety of your home. You nodded, offering you cheek for the polite good night kiss you'd become accustomed to. He rolled his eyes and obliged, pressing an affectionate kiss to your cheek and ruffling your hair. "I'm serious. Watch your back."

***

John broke down when he finally heard the lock click shut. His eyes had been prickling with boiling tears, his jaw tensed to hold them back. He yelled out in anger, flipping his desk with force, a loud crash as the wood splintered against the stone flooring, glass shattering from the photo frames. His hands went to his head, unable to stop the gasping breaths escaping from his trembling lips, his face reddening.

"Fuck’s sake." He growled. He'd fucked everything up. He had nothing, just as he'd told you the first night you returned. The consequence was no surprise, he'd anticipated the fall out for a while, but he couldn't resist you. He was completely guilty and had no defense; his only justification being that you made him think with his cock, not his brain.

Fuck’s sake. Polly was going to murder him. She'd always had a soft spot for Ada, as the only girl in the family, and was no stranger to lecturing him over his flirtatious behaviour around Ada's friends. She'd murder him. He had a half mind to never go home. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. Polly had no use for tears. That's what she'd tell him when he was a boy coming home with a skinned knee. This was far worse.

He was also sure that he was a worse brother than Tommy, perhaps the worst in the world. His baby sister, who he'd helped to toddle, carry proudly on his shoulders after school and race with her on his back through the fields on the outskirts of Small Heath, had walked in on him obviously in the midst of fucking her best mate. If he had swallowed his pride and actually talked to her, he wouldn't be in this mess. He could've told her that things changed, that for the same reasons Ada loved Y/N he had fallen for her, that he was truly sorry but she had to know before it got too far and someone got hurt. He couldn't go back.

He should've never approached you that night.

He should never approach you again.

He looked over the mess of his office, the splintered wood and shards of glass, a confetti of paperwork. Now nothing mattered. None of this mattered. He'd lost everything and he had only himself to blame.

#john shelby imagine #john shelby x reader #john shelby fluff #john shelby series #john shelby fanfic #peaky blinders fluff #peaky blinder fanfic #john shelby smut #peaky blinders smut #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader

352 notes · View notes

lovelyminnieee · 3 years

Text

Without you- J.J.H

Pairing: Jaehyun x reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Car accident mentions, mentions of death, father!Jaehyun, Coma, mentions of losing a loved one

Summary: Jaehyun doesn't want to deal with life anymore. Without you there to hug him, or tell him it was okay to cry, he didn't want to even come home, unless it was for his daughter. He missed you, so much he could go crazy. Maybe you will never come back, he hasn't lost hope yet. Will you be able to comeback to him and your daughter's lives again?

A/n: this is my first fic on my account, feedbacks would be deeply appreciated. Uh, I am a little nervous to post it, but please do give me feedbacks. And the paragraphs written in italics are memories

❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎

It's been 3 years. Three years without you. There wasn't one day where he didn't think of you. Your daughter and the way she reminds him of you. He's tired of it, tired of life. Without you there to comfort him, tell him it's okay to cry, he's tired.

"Eun ha, we have to get to school!" Jaehyun shouts from one end of the apartment, packing her lunch. "Coming daddy!" His daughter waddles over to him, struggling to put her shoes on. "Let me do it," Jaehyun said as he picked her up and put her on the table. He smiles as he puts her shoes on quickly, placing her down after. "Let's go, okay baby?" Jaehyun holds her little hand, her bag in his other hand.

Jaehyun opened the door to the apartment and sighed. An empty home was not really welcoming. You weren't there to hug him, tell him that you love him. His habits haven't changed, he sat down on the couch and pulled out his phone.

"I miss you so fucking much..."

He texted your number. He missed you so much, he was going crazy. He closed his eyes, trying to hold tears bay. He sent you a picture of Eun ha in her dress up outfit. Like a princess.

"Look at Eun ha, she looks so pretty. Just like you baby"

His fingers type, the memories flooding in. He took you for granted while you were there, and that is the thing he regrets the most in life.

"I understand, but you can't just ignore me like that, Jae," you said, angry. He was ignoring you for the past few days, and you had no idea why. He said it was because of work, but he wasn't there at work during work hours. "No Jae, you're not working, you're somewhere else during work hours," you said, your eyes staring at him. Jaehyun paused for a minute, speechless. He was preparing something special for you, and that was the reason. "I- I was-" Jaehyun sighed. You were getting on his nerves. "Y/n, just leave me alone. You don't understand," he said and walked away, frustrated at your behaviour. You didn't know why you got angry so quickly, you were usually so calm and collected during arguments. "So now you want me to leave you alone?" You scoffed. Jaehyun turned around and stared at you. "Isn't that what I just said?" He stares back at you. "So it's completely okay for you to go out during work hours? And ignore me when you come home? What the fuck, Jae?" You raised your voice a little. "Can you not right now? I'm frustrated, Y/n." Jaehyun tried to keep his cool. "Jae, I've been dealing with so many things, do you think you're the only one who deals with stress?" You ask him, tears swelling in your eyes. Jaehyun closed his eyes, trying to stay collected. Maybe you had a reason to be mad this quick. "You might as well be cheating on me, or lying to me. And what not-"

"WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS Y/N?-"

"BECAUSE I WANTED TO TELL YOU I WAS PREGNANT, JAE!"

Jaehyun went silent. His heart pounded in his chest at the news. Well, that certainly wasn't a good way to release the news. She was pregnant? He thought.

"You're what?"

"You know what, nevermind," you walked away, wiping your tears. Jaehyun ran up to you and hugged you from behind. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Jaehyun whispered, kissing your neck softly. "I'm hurt, Jae." You whispered, your voice cracking. "I'm so sorry," he said, his hands softly resting over your tummy. Jaehyun's face ceased into a smile, continuing to press his lips against your neck. "I'm going to be a father," Jaehyun's eyes teared up as he twirled you around and kissed you softly. Everything felt unreal at that moment. He was going to be a dad. His heart swelled in happiness, pulling your waist closer to him.

"I'm so sorry about everything. I love you so much"

He pressed the send button, his eyes tearing up.

"Please come back to me, to Eun ha"

Tears ran down his cheeks and his world darkened again. Three years of torture. Three years without you. He doesn't know how he's going to manage. He shifted on the couch, staring mindlessly at the ceiling. "I miss you so much, Y/N." He whispered, holding his tears in. He had to visit you at the hospital soon, so he put his emotions aside for a moment and got up. He walked to his room and changed in a few minutes, grabbing his bag and walking out the door.

"Hi baby, I'm here," he whispers softly, walking closer to your bed. Your parents had been taking care of you for the past two days because he was busy, but now that he's here, he wants to tell you everything. He knows you're listening, unable to talk. "How are you, love? Is everything okay? Does it hurt?" He asks, gently caressing your hands. He misses your whiny self. Whatever he said, the room was so silent when it was supposed to be filled with your sweet voice. He sighs and closes his eyes, trying to hold in his emotions. "I miss you so much," his voice comes out as a broken whisper. "I can't do this anymore. I can't do this without you, please come back, I'm sorry," he cries, holding your hand close to him. Jaehyun remembers the day the accident happened.

"I'll meet you at home, babe. I love you," he said, cutting the call with a smile on his face. "You make me feel so single," Johnny whispers from his work desk, sighing. "Come on, John. You can bag girls if you try," Jaehyun chuckled as he put on his jacket. "Lucky, you get to go home early while I'm stuck with hyuck, great." Johnny rolls his eyes. Jaehyun just chuckles, walking out of his shared office space.

"So, how was work today?" Jaehyun asked, his eyes focused on the road. "Bad, all that man had to say was I did a bad job and screamed at me. The audacity," you scoffed on the other side of the phone. "Which man? The manager or the CEO?"

"Of course it has to be the manager. He's so annoying I swear," you sighed.

"Oh well, I'll ask him to shut the fuck up next time so he won't annoy you, okay?"

"Ew that was so cheesy, Jae," you cringed behind the phone. Before Jaehyun could even process your reply, loud crashes and screams were heard. He called for you repeatedly, only to realise that you weren't replying.

"I'm so sorry, if I hadn't distracted you, you would still be here for me." Jaehyun cries hard. He looks up at you to see tears running down the side of your face. "Sssh, don't cry," he said, wiping your tears and letting his hand rest on your face. He places a soft kiss on your forehead, his heart hurting at the sight of you. You laid in the bed, limp and pale. "Hey, you know..." He sniffled. "I met your manager on my way here today," he smiled, trying to get the mood better.

"And then, she was trying to write C, but Eun ha wrote it like it was mirrored," Jaehyun giggles softly, his hand still caressing yours. Your hands felt warm to him, and it was the best thing in the world to him. Just as he was about to let the unknown tears in his eyes fall, he felt something. He felt your hand move. His gaze snapped to your hands, which once moved. "Baby, can you do that again for me?" He says hastily, trying not to cry. And he sees a movement, yet again. "Wait for me, I'll go get the doctors, okay?" He says and hurries out of the room, holding himself together. He will come apart any second, but now was not the time.

Doctors rush in and out of the room as Jaehyun watches from the side, tears falling. He had called his mother and asked her to pick Eun ha up from school, just so that he can stay with you longer. "Mr. Jeong?" The doctor called. Jaehyun's cloudy gaze snapped to the doctor, hurrying over to the man. His first clenches in the anticipation of the news as the doctor smiles. "This is the first time I've seen something like this. Her senses are responding to the tests, after a full three years." The doctor tells him. "Is that good?" Jaehyun askes, sniffling. "Yes. Mrs. Jeong's health seems to be progressing so much more than the last three years, she has a higher chance of recovering from the coma for a week or so," Dr. Cho assures him, patting him on the shoulder before he leaves. Jaehyun stares at you for a moment before he comes closer to you. "Hey baby, you're gonna come back to me and Eun ha, aren't you?" Jaehyun asks softly, tears welling in his eyes yet again. "You will, I know it." He kissed your forehead again.

The hopeful week was crucial. Jaehyun visits you everyday of the week with Eun ha, trying his best to make you happy. He'd give his life up for you because what he and his daughter needed the most during this time was you. He had to go to work nevertheless, but you would never be left without a visitor. Mostly being his or your parents and your kid, or him and Eun ha. He was hopeful until the last day of the week rolled over, and he got a call from the doctor.

"Mr. Jeong, I need to talk to you as fast as possible."

"Is there a problem, Dr. Cho?"

He hears a sigh from the other side that sends fear through him.

"We need to talk as fast as possible. Can you make it to the hospital now?"

"Of course, give me 30 minutes, doc,"

Jaehyun cut the call, panic settling within him.

"Johnny, please take care of this document for me. I just got a call from Dr. Cho. I need to go, okay?"

"Yes sir, don't worry about it,"

Johnny said, gesturing to him to hurry on his way. Jaehyun rushed out of the building, getting into his car in no time. In fifteen minutes, he was there at the hospital. He found the same office he's been visiting for the last three years in a couple of minutes, panting as he barged in through the door.

"I was expecting you, Mr. Jeong," Dr. Cho said, sitting upright. He had a bad feeling about what he was going to hear. "I need you to sit down and take a deep breath," the doctor said, sympathy marked in his eyes. Jaehyun sat down hesitatingly, staring at the doctor.

"Would you like something to drink or...?"

"Cut the crap, Dr. Cho,"

Jaehyun snapped. The man just sighed, looking him in the eye. "Your wife, Mrs. Jeong, was pronounced brain dead over 20 minute ago. She had a stroke which caused the brain to stop working," Jaehyun's broken world came crashing down in a few seconds as soon as he heard the news.

"What?"

"Sir, you need to calm-"

"No no no, she hasn't died yet. She can't die yet. You said she was making steady progress, YOU SAID SHE MIGHT WAKE UP, WHY CHANGE YOUR WORDS NOW?!" Jaehyun asked, tears running down his cheeks.

"Jaehyun, listen. It was a stroke that prompted brain death. We can keep her on a machine which pumps oxygen onto her organs which will keep her warm, but it won't do anything,"

"Can you step out for a minute?" Jaehyun asked him, his voice soft. "Of course," the doctor said, moving on his way out.

Jaehyun takes in the news, tears pouring out of his eyes. All he asked for was you and God denied. Great, he hopes that he at least gets to see you one last time. He stepped out of the doctor's office with red eyes and nose. "Can I see her for the last time?" Jaehyun requests, to which the doctor agrees. Tears kept flowing on his way to the room, wiping then with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Go on in," the doctor says, gesturing at the door. Jaehyun holds onto the handle and hesitates before sliding the door open. He keeps his eyes locked on to the floor and when he does lift his eyes, surprise strikes him. You were up, alive and well. Jaehyun blinks before wiping his eyes and looking again. "Jae..." His name rolls off your tongue, bringing him back to earth. He didn't say anything, but he rushed to you and engulfed you in a big hug. He held you close to him, not letting go. It's not like you wanted to let go either. "Jae..." You said, letting your head rest on his shoulder, arms wrapped around him tightly. "I missed you so much," he whispered, breaking into tears again. "God, you're so warm. I missed this so much," you say softly. He missed your voice so much. Jaehyun pulls back gently and stares at your famished face, wiping your tears. "I love you so much, so much," he said, cupping your cheeks in his hands. Your tears ran down again, you missed him so much.

"So what was that?" Jaehyun questions the doctor, glaring at him. "Well uh, your wife had a special request," the doctor smiles, looking away after. "Cho Si-hyeon, I will smack you," he glares, shooting lasers through his eyes. "Hey! Yell at her, not me!" Si-hyeon, his fellow classmate who was a year older than him exclaimed, pointing at you. "No," Jaehyun said, kissing you all over your face as you giggled softly. "She needs to get physiotherapy for her legs and you can go home after," Si-hyeon says, watching them both enjoy each other's presence. "Mhm, 'kay. What else?" Jaehyun said, his gaze fixed on you. "This is disgusting. Bye, I can't stand it," Si-hyeon scrunched his face, leaving the room. "Tsk, he's just jealous that I have such a pretty wife," Jaehyun says and places a small kiss on your lips. "Oh well," you whispered, pulling him into a soft and we'll needed kiss, for both.

❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎

Taglist: @sparklysung @trying-to-love-myself

#nct smut #k-pop smut #jaehyun #nct 127 smut #nct #nct angst #nct fluff #nct jaehyun #nct fanfic #nct u smut #nct u jaehyun #nct 127 jaehyun #romance #nct senarios

225 notes · View notes

dragon-kazansky · 3 years

Text

Til death do us part | Helmut Zemo

Bodyguard AU! 🕶

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

Here's the part where I stir up trouble because it's me and you know this by now.

Warnings: Mentions of threats, death, and suicide. I'm sorry if that's triggering. It's just mentioned.

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 11

You hadn't returned to the Baron again last night, and he hadn't called for you either. You managed to avoid him for the rest of the day.

Today, however, was a new day, and you couldn't keep avoiding him. You put on your stoic face, kept your mind on the job, and made your way up to his office.

At breakfast you had been joined by Natasha and Clint down in the kitchen. It was clear bt the way Clint was looking at you that Natasha had brought him into the loop.

"Why did you tell him?"

"I didn't. He has eyes, too. He can see it just as clearly as anyone," she states.

Clint grins.

You glare at him.

Clint just shrugged and agreed with her. He was the only one to tell you anything alone these lines:

"I think you should open up to him. Sure, you didn't get off on the right foot, but I think he likes you. Really. Maybe give him a chance?"

You chose to ignore that statement and get on with your work. If no one else was going to take their job seriously, then you had to be extra serious for them.

His life was still in danger.

You knock on the door, taking a deep breath as you waited for his reaponce. It cane moments later.

"Enter."

If only his voice didn't send shivers down your spine everytime you heard it.

You enter his office, barely looking at him, and make your way over to where you normally stand. However, you had noticed the way his desk was organised.

Much like yesterday, there was a tea set on a tray. It was a different set to yesterday's. These cups were a pale green and each one a a small pink rose painted on either side of the cup. The teapot had a dozen little roses around the top where the lid sat.

It was a pretty set. Once again, simple, but classy.

He poured two cups again.

"Please, join me," he spoke softly.

You did not want a repeat of yesterday. You remained standing.

Noticing that you hadn't made a move, he gazes up at you with gentle brown eyes. His lips are pulled into a soft smile.

You knew you shouldn't have looked at him, but now it was too late. Those dark eyes are luring you in, and don't forget that smile.

Why did you suddenly want to kiss him?

You swallow thickly, keeping eye contact with him as he continues to look at you with a smile.

"Please."

The way he speaks is so soft. He very clearly wanted you to join him. You hesitate.

"I'm on duty, sir."

"I want you to join me."

You look at the empty seat across from him. The tea would get cold if you didn't join him. Right, yeah, that's why you're going to sit down with him, you didn't want the tea to get cold.

You move over to the chair and take a seat, not looking at the way he was smiling at you now.

A plate of cupcakes sits between you. He takes one.

You look at the sight. Seeing the Baron with his dainty tea set, a cupcake, and a bright expression on his face, he looked so happy and relaxed.

You rather liked this side to the Baron.

You pick up the cup and sip from it. Another delicious tea from his collection. You won't mention how you knew he had a collection of different flavoured tea in a box downstairs in the kitchen.

You smiled at the thought of it though.

It made you feel like you had discovered something about him. A little thing he likes that he doesn't share with anyone else.

Except you, of course.

"How many tea sets do you have?" You ask, now forgetting all about that professional head you had tried to put on earlier. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to humour him.

He smiles widely at you.

"I have six as it stands. I do like to look at others, but I only get the ones that really catch my eye."

You have no idea what was going on with Helmut. The man was beyond pleased. You had initiated a conversation with him. You wanted to talk to him. He couldn't believe it. Perhaps he hadn't offended you as much as he thought after all.

Now, he just had to keep you talking.

"Six? Goodness. Do you use them all?"

"Yes. I switch between them," he grins.

"I'd like to see the others."

"All in due time."

You smile softly.

His heart could literally beat out of his chest right now. He made you smile, and you weren't even trying to hide it.

Feeling a little more willing to be less... stuck up, you reach out and grab one of the cakes.

This pleases him further.

You both eat the cakes and drink the tea. You let yourself smile openly around him.

You were accept he wanted to spend time with you. You wondered if he would indulge you in some information.

"May I ask you something?"

He looks at you with a big gentle eyes. His lips curl in the smallest of smiles.

"Of course."

You put down your nearly empty tea cup and sit up straighter.

"Will you tell me about the group who are after you?"

His smile fades. He hadn't expected that question. To be honest he wanted to keep them as far from mind as possible, but he supposed he did owe you an explanation after everything you had been through.

"They call themselves The Agent Association. John Walker founded it when I retired from the army. He is part of the reason Sokovia has been suffering, when he brought his little gang here to try and recruit me."

"Recruit you? What did he want you for?"

"I have many skills under my belt. I believe he wanted to use me."

"And you turned him down?"

"Yes. I had just left the military. I was ready to return home and settle down. He didn't like that," Helmut's voice became sad. Something struck you and you realised that this went so much deeper than just that.

"What happened? What did he do?"

Helmut looks at you. During the next few moments of silence he was debating on if he should share everything with you. He trusted you, it more came down to if he could bring himself to tell you what happened.

"Baron?"

He wants to tell you. He wants to share what happened to him with you. The reason he had been so cold before you came along.

"There was a woman. She was beautiful. I fell in love rather quickly with her, and she promised to wait for me. He promised I would marry her upon my return and we would live here together. I didn't know she knew Walker. As it turned out, he was in love with her too."

You were suddenly felt with dread.

"Helmut?"

That was it. That was the first time you had used his name. He stared at you, caught off-guard by the way it sounded from your lips.

You hadn't seemed to notice what you had done. Clearly you had been so comfortable with him, you had just let it slip.

He gathers himself.

"Heike. That was her name. She wasn't here when I got home. Three days and no word. I had feared she had chosen him over me, but it was a week later when I heard what had happened."

You felt uncomfortable.

"Heike had passed away. Her family hadn't known I was home, so that's why I hadn't heard anything yet. I was devastated. Two days of being locked away here in mourning with a broken heart, Walker showed up. He broke down my door, he marched up to my room, and then he proceeded to attempt to kill me."

You stare wide eyed, lips parted, mind blank.

"Walker thought I was fine reason she was dead. That she couldn't take choosing and ended her life. I wanted him to kill me. I wanted to be with her in death. He didn't do it. He dropped me and left. I didn't hear from him in years, but one day he shows up with his agents. He wanted to prove to me he had power and influence. Sokovia began to decline and it was because of him."

Helmut had taken notice of how you were leaning forward, listening intensely.

"He's trying to kill you because he thinks Heike killed herself over you?" You ask, whispering softly.

He nods.

"That's awful."

You get up and walk to his side. You place a hand on his shoulder and let it rest there.

"It wasn't your fault."

He turns his head to where he sees your hand. He looks at it. Your touch feels warm, even through his blazer.

"Wasn't it?"

"Of course it wasn't... or are you saying it was?" You ask, softly.

He shakes his head.

"I don't know. What if she had?"

"Do you want my honest opinion?" You ask, looking at him seriously.

"Please."

You kneel down beside him, hand still settled on his shoulder. You meet his eyes with your own.

"If she had ended her own life, I don't think it was over you. By the sounds of it, she was in love with you. She promised to wait."

"Then what do you think happened?"

"Walker. He's trying to kill you, very nearly had twice at this point. Maybe this goes deeper than you think. You're taking it from his word and not your own investigation. Considering all that happened, he isn't a wise form of information."

Helmut places a hand over yours and looks you in the eye. He swallows, letting your words sink in. Your kindness toward him is enough to spur enough confidence in him.

He brings your hand to his lips and kisses your knuckle gently.

He doesn't miss the shocked expression on your face. Startled, you take your hand back and stand up, but you don't walk away.

Already, he misses your touch.

He's not sorry for what he did, even if your reaction hurt him a little.

"Walker will not bring you harm. As your bodyguard I vow to protect you and see this through. I will not stop until Walker is stopped too."

Helmut looks at you with so much longing. His heart feels full. He smiles.

And I vow to protect you. I will not let him hurt you too. Walker will not hurt the people I love again.

He just can't bring himself to say it out loud.

Zemo no longer cares if it's your duty to protect him. He will not let you get hurt by the hands of Walker again.

When the time comes, the Baron will rest and the Colonol will come out to play.

I promise.

@thesuitkovian @justfangirlthingies @belle82devart @zemosimp420 @anteroom-of-death @silverlambcaptain @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @lieutenantn @daniielbruhl @awesomesauce-abbie @latenightartist-author @lazygurl05 @rumblelibrary @nonamec0s @shura-gorl @ginger-abreu @caligrl1992 @livvyshmiv @luciadiosa @vverliebt @tatooineisdry @charistory @somethingthatsaysbubbles @apparrio @alex-the-nb @thewrongkhristol @hb8301 @the-chaotic-cow @mssennimatilda @uncomfortablebagel @fictionlandslanddreams

#marvel #zemo x reader #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo #au #baron helmut zemo #zemo #bodyguard au

94 notes · View notes

sly-merlin · 3 years

Text

KILLING ME - 12 |n.y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre : angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au.

warnings of this chapter : mentions of blood and brutality. For future chapters, major character death(s).

words :

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”

“ curiousity got the cat hitched”

K.M masterlist

A/n : this was supposed to be a longer chapter. The Tumblr was bring problematic since three days. This is not how the chapter was supposed to end but i couldn't post anything longer than this so i had to make changes to end it on a surprise tone like other chapters. I hope you still enjoy it.

Was he asking for too much?

His unsteady hand rose and fell, internal monologue stopping him from knocking on the door. Johnny wasn't sure how he even ended up outside taeyong's door. One second he was fighting with his thoughts and the next second he found himself jumping out of his car, almost ready to confront the person behind the door.

He took a deep breath and was about to drum the wood when the door opened from inside, taeyong's sleepy figure greeting him instantly.

"John. Why are you here so late? Do you need something?" from red pressed strikes on taeyong’s face, anyone would have guessed that he had been sleeping.

“Johnny! I’m talking to you.” he waved his hand in front of johnny’s distracted eyes.

“Huh”

“Do you want something?”

“y/n.”

Your life was back on the wagon. Not truly but with a few exceptions here and there, it certainly felt like the old days. You were in chois on weekdays and took tuitions on the weekends. You met your friends while visiting the library and everything felt quite normal. Even with a few oddities, that being the five day training sessions with Jungwoo, some new people in your life, a residence that you felt happy coming back to, absence of someone that you’d never grown a liking for, everything was smooth. Just like before. The only thing you missed was some time. Time for yourself. Though you lived alone, which was a luxury nearing its end, you barely got a few minutes alone with your mind and that was something you craved more than the drink shoved in your hand at the moment.

You loved your friends, without any doubt, but they lived with the bad habit of disregarding your feelings, feelings that said you would be anywhere but the restaurant you were sitting in.

“y/n is going into hibernation again.” minjun’s voice broke your trance.

“What did you say?" You challenged him but he cowered in his seat and turned his focus on the soggy french fries instead. When he silenced, yugyeom spoke up,

“Yo y/n. Don’t scare the child. Just drink away your sorrows. The wine is quite expensive here. If you are making me pay then at least make it worth it."

Suddenly, Jungkook's loud snorting caught everyone's attention as they all quietened, waiting for him to reveal the reasons for his action. Swirling his burgundy glass, he chugged the last bit of the drink before leaning backwards in his chair, relaxing himself.

"Now what's the drama with You" Yeong grumbled, clearly intoxicated.

"She's already hammered" minjun giggled.

"When are you going to invite us to your house y/n?" Jungkook chimed in, a smirk plastered on his blushed face.

"Oh yes. Ms. Lawyer no more l-lives i-in the d-dorms." Yeong hiccupped, losing the grip on the bottle of soju. Yugyeom chuckled at her antics before snatching the bottle away to avoid any fuss.

"I also meant to ask you but you are never available for more than an hour or so. Are you doing alright" gyeom shifted his chair towards you while keeping a hand on his girlfriend's back.

You didn't know how to reply or what to trump up so they'd stop pestering you. However, you had no other choice than to continue with the streak you had started a few months ago.

"Of course i want to have you there but my roommate is very, how to explain, very bitchy. He got this corporate job and he-he works from home so I'm supposed to pretend like I do not exist and keep quiet. That includes no outsiders as well. It's gonna be like this for a few months i guess"

You mumbled the last part.

You averted your eyes but didn't mean you could've escaped their intense judgemental gaze. You repeated the whole lie that you recited to arrange it in the box of deceit that you were filling since the commencement of these stories. Forgetting any of these would mean shattering their trust. And that was exactly what you were supposed to protect.

Once reiterated, you gathered how foolish the sentence was. Had it been said to you, there wasn't a chance of putting your belief in it. But your company was drunk enough to believe it; two of them were enough to carry the whole table.

"Wow. How horrible of him. We should take y/n with us yugy. She'd be happy and she can invite anyone." Yeong low-key let out a little drunk growl to press her point.

Yugyeom cooed at her before replying,

"And where will you live? Our apartment has only two rooms and both are occupied. Where do you plan to settle down instead?"

His question made her think harder than she ever had in life as she picked at her jutted out lower lip.

"Laundry room. You and me, will live in the laundry room because y/n needs a nice home."

"I already have a nice home yeongie." You took the opportunity, got up and reached out to pinch her cheeks, "but you won't know unless you are sober. Take her home, yugy. I'm also sleepy so I'll get going. See you on Tuesday."

" It's already 11. Let me drop you home." Jungkook suggested, startling you.

"No It-

"Yeah you drop her. I'll take Yeong and minjun home but help me in carrying their asses to the car please." Yugyeom pleaded. He left the bills on the table and took Yeong in his arms. You expected jungkook to do the same but he passed minjun your shoulders instead,

"Wait for me outside. I have to call someone first." and he walked away, his lover grinning on your shoulder like it was the funniest thing in the world but you were fine as long as their drunken state saved you from some heavy confrontation. The only person left was jungkook and you had the perfect idea to dodge him as well.

"So the same place or are you staying in the dorms this weekend?" He asked, driving out of the busy street.

"Just drop me at the nearest bus station. I'll ta-

"Nakamoto residence or the dorms y/n" you almost choked on the air as the word left his lips. Taking a bus home had seemed like the perfect plan but you had overvalued your common sense. Again.

"What are you talking about?" With hesitation evident in your voice, you muttered.

"Do you really think you'd go to a random house in front of me that I know nothing about and you'd be left alone without questions. I was there until the door was opened by someone. You really thought I'd have left you with a stranger. But i knew something was fishy when the receptionist told me that it's a home sweet home of Mr and Mrs nakamoto. Now spill before I get yugyeom to ask in his own way." He shifted the gears in frustration, your relaxed persona bothering him to no end. Getting jungkook wokred up wasn't a grunt work. He was like a matchstick, always ready to be ignited by any possible frictional surface.

"It's not what you are thin-

"Don't lie please," he started, words dangerously polite, "If he's your boyfriend then there's no need to hide y/n. We would always be there to support you. When, how, why, i don't want you to feel pressured to answer me. Just because you go around with no commitment tag doesn't mean we'd judge you if you ever got in a relationship. We love you. Make us part of your life like we do. Can't we just expect that much."

You gulped at how disappointed he sounded. He was right. You needed to include them in your life adventures but how were you supposed to explain him the riots you were dealing with. How were you supposed to spill everything without him getting his sword out. That would only lead to more troubles than you had the power to deal with. Trouble for you, him and for everyone who'd be passed that secrecy.

So you begged, for some more time until you'd be more than comfortable to let all of them into your present life.

Like every other word, this was also a lie that, in the first place, you never chose to proceed with.

He might have give in to you, but you knew eventually you'd have to muster up the courage to answer him and that day would decide another turn of your future.

And you would make sure, inter alia, to shift the wheels in a more likeable direction.

“Use your fists!”

Jungwoo’s grip was strong. His one arm was holding your waist and the other was around your neck. It was painful but you knew he wasn’t going to let go easily this time. This was the third consecutive scuffle or demo fight with him within the span of the last forty five minutes and having lost the last two, awfully at that, expectation of some mercy was not very demanding on your part. But only if he would grant that! You heard his chuckle as you wriggled in his hold. He was clearly having a lot more fun than you were. There was no way you could’ve applied renjun and hyuck’s advice but you still tried to follow their vague instructions.

“Bit his arm and turn.”

“No, don’t. Turn around and hit his torso with your knees.”

Bit him?

Halting your movements, a low grunt left your lips as you lowered your body and pressed your teeth on his flesh. He screeched and immediately retracted his arm. Taking advantage of his loosened grip on your waist, you whirled around and raised your knee to strike at his upper body. In an instant, your hands fell on your knees and you inhaled a harsh breath, regaining your strength. Jungwoo, on the other hand, was curled up on the floor like a baby. You wanted to laugh at him but the more astonishing thing was the lack of any noise from your cheerleaders. Right from the start, they were rooting for you like you were earning them some hard cash and now that you had done exactly what they had wanted, they were silent.

“Wha-

you opened your mouth to speak but their lack of attention held you back. Their eyes were fixed at Jungwoo,who still laid where he had landed.

“What did you do?” renjun shrieked.

“Exactly what you told me to!” you replied with heavy breathing.

“We said torso!”

“Yes and i hi-

Mechanically your hand slapped your face as you noticed the position of jungwoo’s hands. You had, mistakenly, kicked him in the groin which only meant more trouble for you.

“Save me.” you mouthed to hyuck and renjun while approaching jungwoo.

“Sorry teacher.” you mumbled.

He remained quiet for a few seconds and didn’t make any movement. When he did, you took a few steps back, afraid of his wrath. Palms down on the mat, he sat up and with painfully quiet voice spoke up,

“Looks like you won. Good j-job. I think i need to visit the medical room. You can go and celebrate.”

“Does it pain too much” pointing to his crotch and averting your eyes, you asked.

“No. not at all but i might need to adopt your kids someday. You know if i can’t make my own.”

“Sorry” you cried.

“Dismissed.” his civil tone, probably due to the ache, glued you in the position.

When you didn't move, donghyuck came, took you by your arm and guided you for the door.

"He's just being dramatic. Just chill. Another hit and he'd be good to go." He giggled and was soon joined by renjun as well, who was now crouching down in front of jungwoo.

"You sure?"

"If he doesn't then you can always give him your baby. Ofcourse after asking your husband." Only after he rambled, he realised what he had actually said. His face screamed surprise. To save him from spiralling into deep shame, you eased him by cutting off his apology,

"Ew hyuck. Give him one of yours if you want. Don't come for mine!" And you exited the door.

You were halfway through the basement when you realised the lack of your device. Running back, you were about to shout when you overheard their gossip.

"No, I'm telling you she meant to injure me so i won't teach her anymore or this might be the revenge of all the weapon training. Her knee is stronger than jeno's punch. Don't laugh at me you shits."

Jungwoo was whining.

"Haha. Yeah ok. But i told you renjun, she's physically stronger than her. Kind of totally opposite." Hyuck's voice quietened at the end but before he could speak further, you interrupted,

"Like who hyuck?"

Their faces went blank at your question and the reason of sudden heaviness in the air was beyond your contemplation.

"You don't want to answer? Fine. Maybe it's not my place to question." You simply stated before circling the mat to pick up your phone from the chair.

"No. It's not li-

"It's fine hyuck. Chill." You shrugged and walked away, deciding against pestering them for information that they clearly felt too uncomfortable to share.

"You need a fucking lock on your bloody mouth." was the last thing you heard before they were out of your hearing.

What was the need to ask something when you knew you won't ever get an answer out of them. Everyone was beyond friendly with you but still, there were some borders that nobody dared to cross. Maybe the mention of that woman was one of them. Fear of some unknown ghost of embarrassment was swallowing you whole when you heard grunts. Loud ones. You were still in the basement, the scuffle center being at the far end. The stairs were in front of you. The snarls and growls were coming from the other end of the basement. The election wasn't hard and you didn't want to give in to your curiosity but you did. Your feet, not cooperating with the voice in the back of your head that told you to turn away, took you ahead in the direction of the noise. Though the residence consisted of only one plot but the basement covered two. Unknown to everyone, the house next to B.N was also their property and it was only utilised for the underground space. Hence the never ending lane and the countless closed metal doors.

The echo got louder with each step you took. It’s been more than a month since you were visiting the basement but those noises had never crossed through you until today. The end doors were forbidden for you, according to what you were told but now that you were exposed to it, there was no chance of ignoring. No prudent person would ever overlook such a thing. That was the justification you were repeating as you took baby steps.

All the doors were closed except one at the very far end. You thought about peaking inside then halted as if your conscious called you. The whimpers also stopped for a minute or so but your heart skipped a few beats when a collision following with painful shriek reverberated in the empty space. The door, slightly ajar, was just a few strides away but you were too startled to even back away from your position. Same pattern of hit and shouts continued again. Unaware of the happenings, you stood there as If you were waiting for someone to separate you from the concrete beneath your feet.

Adding to your distress, the metal door opened abruptly and you realised, you were again at a place where you weren't meant to be.

"What are you doing here?" Jaehyun's growl broke you out of the unconscious state you had fell into. Mechanically, you eyes roamed across him to notice a body lying on the table inside the room, strained cries escaping his lips. The limp body was enough to put two and two together to conclude that he was being tortured. He was a victim of jaehyun's wrath.

"I asked what ar-

"Y/N!" he picked up his hand to touch your shoulders but you distanced yourself when you noticed the stains covering his clothing and hands, the blood red prominently visible even under the low light.

His gaze caught yours in time and his eyes softened noticing the fear in your body.

Very slowly, he reached out for you but immediately stopped, taking a note of your quivering lip.

"Hey. It-its not blood. I ca-can explai- Y/N!"

The yells of your name covered the whole arena as you rushed away, leaving a dazed jaehyun behind.

"Who was it jae?"

Jaehyun saw your trembling figure diminishing while you ran away from him as if you were disgusted by him. Not that he expected any other reaction, some good time has passed since someone innocent had came across their work. To say the least, it was never pleasant to have someone witness their harsh manners.

"JAE!"

"Y/n. She saw the body and also the blood."

He mumbled to ten whose visage, upon hearing, instantly mirrored jaehyun's.

"What about him?" Ten pointed to the man, "he's not speaking shit"

"Finish him off if you want. I need to handle something else now"

You raced as fast as you could have. You had never thought of yourself as a weak person but the sight was gruesome to just disregard and walk off. With shaking legs, you finally made it upstairs but the ringing, only became more earsplitting. Your hand harshly rubbed at your chest as you tried to defuse the tension bubbling in your whole body. After what felt like minutes, you covered your ears as if it would stop the ringing. It certainly did not but surprisingly it was muffled. You removed your hands and the blaring returned again. But this time, you laboured yourself to look into your surroundings. You saw chenle, jisung, jaemin running back and forth from the kitchen while doyoung seemed to be scolding jeno for something. Few others were also there, cleaning the couches and spraying some fragrance in the air. Everyone seemed to be their own turmoil, origin was which was yet to be known.

That's when it hit you. Maybe your ears weren't booming due to fright.

"Chenle"you screamed at the passing boy, "do you hear this sound?" You pointed your fingers in the air to exaggerate your point. He merely nodded before he went past you and the very next second the noise was reduced to mere buzzing. You inhaled sharply to regulate your heartbeat but failed due to the ruckus that enclosed you. Suddenly jaemin emerged,

"Why are you so disheveled? Go and change from these workout clothes. Uncle is outside. Didn't you hear the alarm." Only Half of his words entered your head and before you could come to your senses, you were interrupted again.

"Y/n my girl!" Whipping your head, you saw a familiar figure entering the threshold.

An old man that you surely had seen somewhere.

His voice was a lot stronger than his aged body which he was dragging along with the help of a walking stick.

Jaemin nudged you to greet him and you complied as soon as could have in your current state. Only when you got closer, you realised he was the same man you had met in the office celebration. You haven't seen him since then but he looked significantly weaker than before. Even with dark circles present, his face still was still shining with the smile he wore as he staggered inside.

"How's life treating you my kid" he asked, patting the empty space on the couch. You took the seat and replied in a small voice,

"I'm good. Everything is nice."

"Why am I smelling Jasmines this late in the evening?" He sniffed the air and galred at doyoung, " Do you take me for a fool? One thing! Cleaning. that is the only thing i ask of you. There are- how many of you are present since the morning. Answer me doyoung."

The man barked and doyoung muttered a sheepish apology, his head dropping with shame.

"Each one of you is nonsense. If you'd just clean up your stink once in a while, you'd save your money on the thousands of spray bottles you buy every month. But you thick heads only know how to shoot and punch. Now get me a glass of water before i die of this fake flowery smell"

He shouted like he owned the place and Maybe he did. Your mind and heart were not aligned up to comprehend the simple scenario that took place before you, the dizziness coming and going with intervals.

Then you were called again.

Looking at your right, your saw jaehyun standing, his face ridden of any colour.

You noticed his new shirt. There was no blood on it. His hands were also cleaned and you were stunned at how quickly your eyes were running on his body to find any trace of what you saw in the basement a few minutes ago.

"y/n, i need to talk to you"

For the first time, jaehyun's words were directed towards you without any poison in them.

You still didn't wish to face him so you moved yourself to face the old man.

"Y/n ple-

"Now you don't even greet your own father jung jaehyun."

He spoke with a steadier and louder voice that felt like it was only meant for jaehyun. The contrast in his tone was striking.

He was jaehyun's father.

"Sorry dad. I have something imp-

"I called you in the morning to inform yuta and taeil and yet i do not see anyone here. Do i need to die for you to respect me!"

You couldn't believe your ears when jaehyun answered in shuddering tone.

"Yu-yuta is not here."

He sounded like a child responding to his teacher, scared of some evaluation.

"Then call him."

"I mean he's away on business dad."

"Civil?"

It was like hearing Morse code.

"No."

"You sent him on a target place?"

"No. He's in Nice to collect information."

"Wow. Can you please clap your back for breaking the only sacred rule this family lives by?"

The silence in the extremely large living room was suffocating. This time, except you, everyone else was scared. And it still wasn't of any help.

"How dare you send a family man away on anything remotely dangerous. I thought you all were careful after taeil's incident but no. Nobody cares enough t-

Before he could complete, shaky coughs engulfed his body. Somehow, jaehyun grabbed him the moment he was about to fall from the couch. Doyoung ran for the kitchen while xiaojun, who was always too swift in his movements, came to the living room with a medical box.

You weren't sure what was happening with him or why he was being treated like some high mighty force or why he was so adamant on bringing yuta back but you could only pray that his wish won't be granted.

You weren't cruel but you were sure he'd be able to survive without that piece of shit roaming around.

You couldn't lose the few weeks you had without him.

Taeyong hands clutched yours like his life depended on you.

"Please please please y/n. It's been over a month since he's gone. I never withdraw from a deal. But this is an emergency. Uncle doesn't know you both were forced. He is a soft and weak hearted man. We cannot afford to tell him anything like this and clearly this would be seen as a betrayal to him. You both are nothing like what he's told but he doesn't need to need. He's the only father figure we have. Please just this time. I promise I won't ask anything from you after this. You do not need to live with him. he'd be here until two months are over. Please."

You lifted your brow at his last sentence and liberated your hands from his, feeling his trembling fingers.

"I don't see the need to lie anymore, taeyong. You can tell him the truth and be over with it. If he has jaehyun as a son, he must be used to hearing blatant lies. This won't be the only one, I'm sure of that." Crossing your arms, you coldly said.

"I know you hate me but please y/n. You know how it is to lose the only family member you have. We have no one besides him. Never had anyone before him. The least we can do is keep him happy until it's too late. Please. Just this time."

Gobbling down each word, you merely nodded at him. If it weren't for his glossy eyes, you'd have threw up on him right after the first pleading but you weren't heartless like him. He was right. You knew how it felt to lose your loved ones, a fate you would never wish upon anyone. Not even the person you despised the most.

"Thank you. I owe you this one kiddo." He hugged you and you pushed him away.

"Let me call him."

"Yuta!"

"Hmm"

"You need to come back immediately "

Taeyong spoke with urgency.

"Nope. I still have Three weeks and two days left." You heard his non-chalant words through the speaker.

"Yuta it's abou-

"Sorry I'm busy with my french girls. Call you later and please forget to take care of yourself."

And he hung up.

A smirk formed on your face watching the grim expressions of taeyong.

"Good luck convincing him and while you are going to explain him the difference between the French girls and the French monkeys he has mistaken as women, why don't you explain me what exactly jaehyun does in that other end of the basement. I love some good stories, taeyong. So let's hear how good of a storyteller are you!"

taglist :: @kpop-choco @moon-yuta @kawaiiayasan @btm-taeyong @exfolitae @lanadreamie @cheersskznct @hyuckiesgf @theworld-accordingtocasey @yiyi4657 @sorrywonwoo @sillywinnergladiator @minejungwoo @leesalts @mal-nakamoto23 @ro2424 @itlittlefangirl @nctzens-world @bl--ankhaeji @simplybree @ncttboo @jeaneteflo @nuoyii @/bralessmermaid

125 notes · View notes

iwalc · 3 years

Text

Take me home

Hi people! I hope you are all well! Here is a something I've worked on for a while. Uhm, I realise now that I have never posted anything I've written on here before, so I am a little nervouse, ngl. I've been into a horrible writersblock for over a year now and this is the firt piece I've even been able to finish, which also makes me kind of nervouse. Either way, here it is. I hope you'll like it, and if you do, pls let me know.

Wordcount: around 2500.

I haven't really proofread anything, so if there are anything that's a bit off, then I apologise.

Damn it. I lost. Again. Here I am pissed drunk in a bar, far away from home. Or... what's supposed to be my home. Anger, love, confusion, roads that lead nowhere. As to lately, I don't know what has gotten into me. We all know life's a rollercoaster, ups and downs, downs and ups. This time I wasn't prepared. I've hit the ground. Hard. Everything happened so fast.

Almost a year ago I moved from home. It was sudden but necessary. I got into college in London and saw my opportunity to leave my abusive household. For years the mental abuse had just gradually gotten worse. Although I love my parents to bits, it was not a healthy surrounding and I needed a new perspective. I moved into a small apartment a few minutes from my college. The apartment wasn't really luxurious. But what could I expect with rent that cheap. It was alright. For me at least. Soon after the move classes started. The first few days were rough. A lot of new things, new people, new surroundings and I was all alone. You see, I am not a fan of new things. I'd rather be stuck with everything the same than have the winds of change knock everything I know to pieces. That's what I soon noticed. I didn't recognise anything anymore. Everything was to pieces. I've never felt so lost or scared.

After a while, these strange feelings of insecurity and fear decreased a bit. I started seeing people from my classes. We went to lunches, studied, went out on the weekends. For the first time in a long while it felt like my life was starting to get better. I felt alive, not only like I was just existing. I felt normal. I lived in a large city, in a tiny apartment, barely being able to pay rent, eating fish sticks and whatever else cheap food that Tesco happened to sell out, spending all money on weekends clubbing, listening to bands, laughing, getting shitfaced, having the time of my life.

On one of these nights, I met someone. Someone that would change my life drastically, and thank god it was for the better. It was an ordinary weekend. Me and the girls got ready for a night out, as usual. Only this time we were to meet Angela's boyfriend and his friends. Everyone was crazy excited. I tried to be, but as we have stated before, I'm not doing very well with breaking routines or new things, hence my increasing anxiety. To cut the chase, Angela's boyfriend had nice friends. Especially one of them. Brian. I don't really know what drew me to him. He just seemed so calm and safe. Somewhat on my level. The others, Angela, Jessica and Amanda, were all outgoing girls, finding it easy to talk and meet new people, having no trouble being in the centre of attention. I did not enjoy those types of things. I enjoyed letting others being in the centre of attention and them leading the way. I thrive in the shadows of other people and Brian seemed to be the same way. He was the quiet one, the one in the shadows. But he didn't seem shy. He sat comfortably in the booth, a beer in his hand, listening in to the conversations, taking part in them whenever it was needed. He seemed so calm, safe, secure. Something I craved. He was tall, green, welcoming eyes. Angela sat down beside her boyfriend, Roger, a blonde, seemingly handsome guy. Jessica was called over to Freddie, a dark-haired man, seemingly not afraid to stand in the centre of attention, he was very authentic and expressive. At first, I'd say he'd be a bitch, but he was so nice and welcoming. Such a sweetheart. Amanda sat down between Jessica and John and they got carried away with their conversation pretty quickly.

Me being me, trying to read the room, the new people, anxiously stood there, at the end of the table. My anxiety started to peak at this uncomfortable social situation. I had no idea what to do. I froze. The others seemed engulfed in their conversations and bonding and hadn't noticed my uncomfortable state. But Brian did. He seemed to understand and saw my anxiety. It was amazing how he just knew how to deal with it without scaring me off more. He redirected his attention towards where I stood. He calmly called my name. His voice. I've never ever felt more secure. After a few calls, and his hand gracing mine, I zoned in again and once again became aware of my surroundings. His touch. Warm. Soft. Peaceful. "Hey" he said softly, "would you like to sit down?" he asked as he carefully for a second took a hold of my hand, with me not showing any sign of uncomfort, he carefully guided me to sit down beside him, a soft smile gracing his lips. "I'm so sorry for zoning out like that, thank you" I quietly whispered. He once again took a soft hold of my hand, smiling, "Don't apologise, I understand". Something told me he did understand.

And ever since we met that night, at a pub in Kensington, he has made me feel at home. Safe. Comfortable. My pieces were glued together again. Brian was my everything. He still is. The last few months with him has been filled with such happiness and security I never ever thought I'd experience. I love him to bits. He understands me and my needs like no other. He knows how to take care of my anxiety attacks. He knows how to help me relax. He is my rock in a stormy ocean.

Until today. Earlier today, the pieces he glued together, fell apart, again. Today we moved in together. We figured it would help with our economic situation since we were both students. I mean, we love each other so why not. Well. This is why. I am once again falling apart. My pieces are flying away. I couldn't handle one more change. I've broken up with my family, moved away from home, started college, all in the period of 6 months. It was too much. And now this. I love him. But my world has been picked apart once more.

The whole day I've been feeling my anxiety increasing. Usually, Brian notices or I feel comfortable telling him, but this time I noticed how excited he was, I didn't want to hurt him with my bullshit. It's horrible feeling yourself falling apart but not be able to do anything about it. It was 7 pm and Brian was unpacking things in the living room while I sat on the sofa trying not to lose it. He kept talking about how happy he was and how this was a dream of his. How excited he was to share his life with me, to love me. All the while he was so happy babbling away, I was freaking out. To say the least.

My anxiety kept increasing and now I couldn't handle it anymore. I felt my breathing quickening, my hands and legs started to shake and tears started to stream down my eyes. I couldn't do this. What have I done? "Love? What do you think hanging this here?" Brian asked excitedly holding up a poster on the wall. I couldn't breathe. "Love?" Brian asked before he turned around. My knees were up to my chin, hands holding them in place, rocking back and forth, tears streaming down my eyes. Brian was shocked to see me in this state of mind but wasted no time. He hurried up to me on the sofa. He sat down on his knees in front of me, his hands on my cheeks. "Love, look at me" he pleaded with a calm voice. "Love" he said, more firmly this time. "Shh you're okay, love, I got you" he said as I lifted my head to look at him. I was frightened. His beautiful, angelic face that earlier always brought me peace and comfort were now triggering my anxiety. I ran. I ran out of the apartment, down the staircase and out of the building. Before leaving the building I heard Brian calling my name, running after me.

That's where I am right now. I ran to a pub, the pub we met at. I'm drunk. Anger, love, confusion, roads that lead nowhere. As to lately, I don't know what has gotten into me. We all know life's a rollercoaster, ups and downs, downs and ups. This time I wasn't prepared. I've hit the ground. Hard. Everything happened so fast. Wrapped up so consumed by all this confusion. With every thought I down a beer. "Could I get another one pls?" I slurred to the bartender. But no. No way I was going to drink more tonight. I don't know if it was intentional or not to go to the only pub in London where I'm recognisable since we go there all the time. Maybe I wanted to be found. The bartender declined and then went through a doorway to the kitchen. I heard him talking on the phone. He was talking about me. More than that I couldn't recognise and soon after my head hit the table and I was out.

I woke up in a bed. It took some time to locate where I was, but soon I noticed I was in our apartment. My head was killing me along with the anxiety and guilt. What the hell happened. I had no idea.

Soon enough Brian entered the room. I couldn't do anything. I barely dared to look at him. He looked exhausted. And there was something else, it shocked me that I couldn't decipher what it was.

"Hi" he calmly said as he strode to my side of the bed and set down a glass of water and aspirin.

"Hi" I vaguely answered.

The silence took over the room. I barely dared to move but did to take my aspirin and drink some well-needed water. Not letting my eyes of Brian, I watched as his tall body sat down on the side of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" he calmly asked as his hand strode closer to me but he didn't dare to touch me, probably confused by my signals yesterday.

I met him halfway and took a hold of his large and warm hand. As soon as he felt my hand on his he held mine tighter and let out a breath I didn't know he was holding.

"I don't know how to answer that" you answered honestly.

Brian hummed and stroked my hand with his thumb, looking at our locked hands.

"You scared me" he whispered. Tears threatening to leave his eyes.

That hurt.

"I'm so sorry" I panicked and sat up, only to regret it as my head almost pounded you dead. "Ow," I winced as my free hand went to hold my forehead.

"Careful" Brian voiced as calmly as ever. His eyes scanned around the room, trying to muster the courage for what he was to say next. He cleared his throat. "Can we talk about what happened?" he almost whispered, taking my hand in both of his, stroking it with his thumbs.

Of course, he wants to talk about it. There is nothing strange about that. However, I rather not. What am I supposed to say? That I panicked, that his face suddenly made me uneasy? That... I don't know. Suddenly I felt his hand upon my cheek. I must've zoned out.

"hey, it's alright"

I let out a loud sigh, catching Brians attention. "Brian, it is not alright. I'm a mess. What I did wasn't alright." Tears were now streaming down my cheeks. Burning like fire. Brians weight shifted as he crawled onto the bed, laying down behind me, embracing me like never before. His arms around my aching stomach and my arms. His leg over mine. His chin in the crook of my neck, whispering calming sentences while my tears shook my body. His body warming mine. It's always so calming.

How can I be so damn lucky? I ran away from home, from my love, I got piss drunk at a pub, and still, he took me home, taking care of me, holding me, loving me like no other. It's suffocating in the best way.

The tears calmed down. "Brian, I want to come home", I sniffed, crampingly grabbing onto his large, warm hand. "I'm hurting. I'm so lost. Confused. Angry." the tears were now rapidly streaming down my face again as I poured my aching heart out. "I really had to get away from home to live my life, to get better. When I first got here I felt cheated. It was so hard and I've never been worse my whole life. I've never felt more alone, left out, beaten up." I kept rambling on. "I know, love, I know." Brian cooed into my neck, stroking my arm. "But you don't Brian. I can't seem to find my way home. I'm so lost." I said as tears wrecked my body. Brian, holding me, securing me, hushing me, whispering sweet things. "I don't even know how you put up with me. I'm so broken. I came to you with a broken faith, and you gave me more than a hand to hold." The first time I voiced my fear and insecurity about how Brian feel about me. I'm so scared he'll leave me. He's all I've got. "Love, shh, It's ok. Hey, listen to me." he started as he turned me so I could look at him. "I understand that you feel like you're lost, I really do. Everything you've ever known has changed in less than a year. Space will eventually make it better, time will make it heal, and soon enough you won't feel like you're haunted. You won't be lost forever!" He praised as his hand stroked my cheek. Emphasizing the last sentence. I won't be lost forever.

"I'm so scared Brian"

"I know baby" he embraced me, "I know."

"I need you, Brian, don't leave me please, you're all I've got." I cried into his chest.

"Baby I won't. I never could. I love you! I will hold you. I will take you home. I'll be here every step of the way. I'll be your home." He said as my body once more broke down in tears.

I know there must be somewhere better because he always takes me there. Maybe I've found my home. I think he's my home.

#brian may #brian may angst #brian may x reader #brian may imagine #brian may x reader fluff #brian may fluff #take me home

41 notes · View notes

peaky-malachai · 3 years

Text

﹒☼﹒

UPON RETURN | T. SHELBY | ii

﹒♱﹒

part. ii

•requested: yes by a few

•tw: slight mention of blood/fight, alcohol? at the very end theres a bit of seggsual tension

•wc: 2k ish

•season set: 1 /2 (i vision just before 1 tbh)

﹒♱﹒

You almost went silent as you doubled over, laughing with John, trying to catch your breath. The Garrison was loud, a Saturday night was always the busiest, being that it was half of the towns last day at work. Unfortunately not everyone had a two day weekend.

"So this whole room is yours then, ay?", you asked after your laughter died down and you both took a swig of your beverages.

"Oh yeah", John sat up, his arm resting on top of the bench, a few foot between you both, "Meetings, parties, everything 'appens in 'ere", he cleared his throat as he watched you look around in awe.

"When I left", you snorted, "When I left, you boys were barely even feared by Misses Briggs down at the bakery, 'n' she's a scaredy cat", you laughed, "Fuckin' 'ell, now look at ya, practically run the town".

John shrugged, "I don't even know how it got to this, to be fair".

The door burst open to reveal a drunken Arthur, "Y/L/N!", he called, walking over to sit adjacent from you in a singular arm chair,

"Y/N/N, how are ya?".

You held back a laugh, slightly tipsy yourself from Harry's generous pouring, "Better than I was this afternoon, Arthur", you leant back into the bench, "Me 'ands are comin' along now n'all".

Arthur squinted his eyes as you held your hands out above the table. Suddenly he stood up and moved over to sit next to you on the end of the bench. You quickly scooted across it to make some space and practically fell against John. Which of course ended up with now all three of you wheezing with laughter.

As if on queue, Tommy then walked through the door. His eyebrows slightly knitted as he looked over at the scene before him. Y/N's practically in John's lap, Arthur practically hugging the side of Y/N. The three of them hadn't even noticed Tom standing there as they tried catching their breath, trying to remember why they were laughing in the first place.

"Tommy!", John saw his elder brother first, "Finally! Come to join us for a pint 'ave yah?".

Tommy barely nodded his head as he kept his eyes trained on Y/N, who appeared to be now busy talking to Arthur about something. Clearly ignoring Tommy. Which angered him. Not that he would exhibit any sign of that.

"Did you know that Y/Ns been taking notes from our books whilst she's been away", John asked Tommy, "She's practically made her own betting shop down in London, t' make a few bob on the side". John nudged you, bringing you into his conversation, "'Aven't yah?".

You shrugged, "It wasn't really a betting shop", you turned to face John as Arthur stood up, stumbling to the small double door in the wall to get a fresh pint from Harry. "It was more like a 'You bet money on this and I'll double your winnings if you win, except, you won't win because I've rigged it' kind of thing and it was in the middle of the street".

John laughed, "Yeah, exactly, that's what I said".

Tommy walked over to the arm chair where Arthur had first sat, "That's dangerous", he commented as he pulled a pre-rolled cigarette out of his own metal tin.

You scoffed, sitting up straight, realising Tommy was actually in the same room as you right now and you looked a mess, "That's a bit rich coming from you, Thomas", you lifted your leg across the other under the table as you held your chin high. Who was he to tell you something was dangerous; As if he wasn't a notoriously dangerous criminal himself.

Tommy narrowed his eyes as he quickly took a glance at you before lighting his cigarette and chucking his pack of matches onto the table, his spare hand landing next to them. "You know", he began, which made you roll your eyes already, "I'm only trying to look out for you, it's not as if you have us down there with you".

You arched your eyebrow as let out a dry laugh, turning to John to see if he found his just as amusing. He didn't, of course, he was a man, he thought nothing of it as took a swig of his drink. Unfazed by the conversation.

"What, so are you sayin' that 'coz I'm a woman, I can't run my own dodgy business 'coz I won't 'ave The Three Main Peaky Boys to protect me when shit goes bobbins?".

John turned to you, his drink a centimetre away from his lips, "Goes what?".

"Rubbish! Goes Rubbish!", you shook your head at your best friend with a light slap to the side of his head, he tutted and pushed you back slightly.

"This, Tommy", you turned back, "This is exactly why I run my own dodgy business, by myself".

"What do you mean by exactly why?", he said simply.

"I mean, I don't have to fuckin' explain myself every five seconds", you sighed as you leant forward, resting your elbows on the table, a clear sign that you weren't having any of it. Tommy had almost forgotten you were like this. So brash. He liked it. He liked you. It irritated him. "Because everyone down there understands what I'm fuckin' on about".

John turned to you, speaking lowly, "Yeah, but you grew up here?".

You turned to him with a scowl, "Yeah, doesn't mean I fuckin' talk like yous, does it ya muppet".

"Shut up".

"You're the one that fuckin' said it".

"Oi", Arthur shouted as he walked back over, "Why are you arguing like little kids again".

"'Cause Tommy thinks I shouldn't run my own business", you turned to Arthur as he sat down across from John.

"I never said you shouldn't be running it", Tommy said with a flat tone, "I said, it's dangerous".

"Yeah, but it's the way in which you said it".

"You knew I wasn't being condescending".

"Fuckin' seemed like it", you crossed your arms across your chest as you turned your head away from Tommy.

"Oh for fuck sake!", John shouted, "Can't you two go five minutes with out bickering? It's like 1912 all over again", he stood up, "I'm going to find a woman".

"Fine! Fuck off then", you smiled playfully as you watched John flip you off whilst leaving the room. Arthur watched in wonder, he didn't understand your friendship at all, though he admired it.

"Right", Arthur slapped the table, "I've gotta piss but I'll see you two when you've stopped arguing". With that Arthur left the room. You and Tommy now alone.

Wonderful.

Great.

Neither of you said a word. You watched as Tommy eyes moved from every item on the table until he had no choice but to look up around the room. You wasn't stupid. You knew he wanted you to speak first. He wasn't good with expressing his emotions.

But fuck that.

And neither were you.

You brushed your skirt down before standing up and walking behind Tommy's chair. You didn't get far before he sharply turned to grab your wrist, letting go when he realised that was a little boisterous.

"Where you off to then?".

You shrugged, "Dunno, anywhere that's going to hold more conversation then you".

Tommy sighed, "Fuck sake", he mumbled, "Sit down", he looked you in the eye as he motioned for you to sit in the singular seat across from him.

You pursed you're lips, thinking — although honestly, you didn't need to think twice before agreeing to whatever Tommy told you.

Getting comfortable on the seat you looked over at the broken criminal, the shell of who used to be a bubbly trouble maker. "Well".

"Well what?", Tommy asked as he spoke with the end of his cigarette in his mouth.

You shook your head slightly, amazed by the stubbornness, "Why did you want me to sit down, I was excepting at least a smile, or would you rather I leave and find Jack from down the lane", you smirked as you picked at your nails innocently.

Tommy looked over with a harsh glare, "We both know you'd rather spend eternity in a prison cell with me and a rat then have to get into bed with him".

You smiled, it was true, you both knew it.

Yet even the idea of you with Jack still managed to irritate Tommy, it was amusing. You chose not to speak, wanting Tommy to give you his full attention. He looked over, stubbing out the end of his cigarette as he turned to face you, body mirroring yours. He cleared his throat before speaking, "Remember the day you left?".

You shrugged, "Suppose – everyone hugged me a thousand times over and you gave me that pocket knife".

Tommy shook his head, "Wasn't asking a question".

Your voice faded as you knitted your eyebrows together with an irritated smirk, "Oh, sorry, so go on then", leaning forward and resting your elbow on the side of your chair with your chin in your hand you looked Tommy up and down, debating how much time you would have left alone with him before another brother made an entrance, "Enlighten me on my memories".

Tommy's body relaxed back into his seat as his tongue touched his cheek, he had always loved your argumentative side, it seemed as if you reserved it especially for him.

"When you left Jacks house", he spoke as he reached into his blazer to grab something from a hand sewn (by polly) inner pocket, "with this", he handed you a smashed pocket watch.

You took the old small gold plated clock and looked at it with a small glint in your eyes. That clock had once belonged to Jack. Poor lad. You'd been in his house helping out his mother with some letters she wanted to send out for Christmas. Everything was fine until Jack came home, drunk. He was a few years older then yourself. Almost the same as Thomas.

Skipping the details he was talking about a certain girl he had been trying to chat up. Of course she didn't want anything to do with Jack, which she seemed to have cleared up respectfully. However, Jack, being the piece of shit he was, didn't care for that and thought she owed him something.

After hearing enough of it you turned to his mum and said, 'sorry but I can't take this any longer'.

You then stood up and grabbed the pocket watch hanging loosely from his gin stained blazer and smashed it into the side of his head, hitting his left temple. Blood trickled down from his eyebrow as he stumbled back, tripping up and falling onto his settee.

You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt with your free hand, leaning down to face him, 'don't ever talk another girl who's uninterested in you ever again', you pushed him back and stood up straight, 'and if you so I'll let some not very nice men know about it, call in some favours if you know what I mean'.

He nodded profusely and started mumbling some apology as you turned back to face his mother, 'sorry, I'll see myself out', you said as you grabbed your coat and bag before quickly leaving to go find Tommy and tell him about how you probably just made a big mistake.

"He was an ass", you simply said as you placed the watch onto the table, "Whats your point, Thomas". The mans face twitched, almost invisibly, but you saw.

"My point", he leant forward, "Y/N". You gulped, sitting up straight. "That's when I realised you were the one". You visibly shivered when you felt his finger tip on your knee, slowly tapping it he moved it half an inch up as he spoke, "That's when I realised you were going to be the death of me, Y/N".

Biting your lip you looked down, watching Tommy's finger tease it's way across your thigh, unsure of his plans. Barely above a whisper you managed to get out a breathless, "Tommy".

You saw him smirk as he licked his lower lip, his eyes travelling over your body before finally meeting yours, "Yes?".

Cheeks rosey red as you felt yourself blushing you uncrossed your legs and sat up straight with your chin in the air. Only to recross your legs the opposite way.

"Is this an issue, sweetheart?", Tommy said gently, this time he placed his entire hand on your thigh, the thin fabric of the old dress you borrowed from Ada being the only thing separating your warm skin from Tommy's stone cold hand. The only thing stopping you from losing all self control you had.

﹒♱﹒

✒︎author note: part three then?

& comment any spelling mistakes x

✒︎feedback: plz :))

✒︎requests: open⎝09/2021⎞

☞published: 16.03.2021

﹒☼﹒

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders imagine

35 notes · View notes

inglourious-imagines · 4 years

Text

Light In Hell (Edward "Babe" Heffron)

Requested by: @easyroses

Summary: You are the love of Babe's life. But he got too drunk in Aldbourne and did something he regrets more than anything. Now he has to live with the consequences.

Prompts: 32 - Oh god, you're in love with him! & 60 - Fuck, you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen.

Author's Note: Hope you guys consider this one happy haha! Enjoy ♡

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @floydtab @kyra3155 @real-fans @meteora-fc @not-john-watsons-blog @band-of-brothers-cz @tealaquinn @ok-roemanov

The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I'm still in love with you.

He watched her from afar, his mind full of thoughts and regrest. Y/N was laughing about something Luz just said and it was this exact moment it hit him. Babe made the biggest mistake of his life.

She was supposed to be sitting next to him, laughing with him and not George. They would tell each other memories of home and he could finally ask her to come with him to Philly. Maybe even gave her the ring he'd been carrying with him for ages.

Now, it seemed like all Babe's dreams collapsed and disappeared. And the worst thing was, it was just his fault. He was the only one to blame.

•••

"May I sit here?" Babe anxiously asked gesturing towards the free spot next to Y/N on the freezing ground in the Ardennes. It was the first moment they looked each other deeply since Aldbourne. Guarnere coughed a little to ease the tension in the air and freed a little place next to him. "You can also sit here, Babe. I warmed it for you." Bill said laughing but his eyes drifted off to Y/N who was uncomfortably looking everywhere, just not at Heffron, with a frown on her face.

"Thanks, Bill." Babe replied quietly sitting down.

The conversation stopped. Everyone was aware of what happened between the once happiest and the most lovely pair of Easy Company. No one didn't know what they should say or do.

Babe was staring at Y/N with sad eyes and he wasn't even trying to hide it. Everybody could see how much he regrets what he'd done. But it wasn't their broken heart, it wasn't their trust shattered.

And Y/N simply wasn't able to forgive him. Not yet.

•••

When Eugene Roe paid her a visit, she was more than happy to have someone to freeze with while have a good conversation. Gene was exactly the guy she needed.

"Just talked with Heffron." Doc stated and she could swear her blood froze as well.

"I don't care." Y/N frowned trying not to look too concerned.

"I think you do, a lot." Eugene replied with a knowing smile on his face. She hated when he was right, which was almost every time and this moment wasn't an exception. Y/N was dying to have a talk with Babe like they used to do before Aldbourne. But at the same time, she was hurting every time she looked at him.

"Oh god!" Doc spoke again, his voice full of realisation and expectation, "you're in love with with."

"What?! No!" Y/N answered way too quickly than she should, "I was and I'm not hiding that. But not anymore."

"I don't believe a word you just said. Two hours ago or so I was listening to Heffron blabbing how he regrets it, how much he's sorry because he'll never meet a woman like you again. Can't you see it, Y/N? He loves you more than he lets on. He'd do anything to take back what happened. If you could just forgive him."

"It's not that easy, Gene. And now get out! Two medics in one foxhole? What would Bill say to that?"

•••

It was about time. They had to move forward and fight.

Now it meant attacking a little town called Foy.

Y/N was stepping on one place checking her medical supplies for the tenth time in 5 minutes. There was no denying it, she was a nervous wreck.

•••

It all happened so quickly.

A long run from the forest to the town.

Speirs replacing Dike.

And then, they made it, with loses, yeah, but they made it.

Y/N sat down on a wooden bench, exhausted, letting her head fall into her hands.

"Medic!" She froze. "Medic! Now!"

Y/N got up and ran after the shouting until she saw a wounded man with his trousers covered in blood.

"Oh my god." she breathed out and began to throw bandages out of her bag along with one last morphine. She ripped his trousers wiping off the blood of his left thigh.

"Don't worry. It looks worse than it actually is," Y/N tried to comfort the trooper, "you're gonna be all right. It's just a scratch."

She injected the morphine in his other leg as she bandaged the wound. "It's okay now. The bullet didn't hit you properly, you'll be fine soon. I shouldn't probably even give you the morphine but the supplies are coming so I reckon it's no problem."

Y/N stood up slowly, taking one last look at the wound, and gestured towards Bull and Luz to take him into the church.

"This is the first time we had some conversion in so many weeks." Babe stated as he raised himself up on his elbows.

"And it's gonna end like it." she frowned. Her heart broke a little as she said those words. She didn't even know why she's being that much unfriendly.

"I apologised, Y/N! How many times do you want me to say sorry to you? I was drunk. I wasn't thinking!" Heffron raised his voice suddenly. He probably would have stopped her and made her look into his eyes.

"Can't you fucking understand?! You slept with another woman when a few minutes ago you were telling me how you love me! And it just hurts so much, Babe, it feels like a betrayal." her voice was so weak at the end of her reply he could barely hear her.

"All I'm asking is you to forgive me. Just give me a second chance - you are always saying this."

"It freaking depends. Second chance for Hitler? Hell no! You?"

Y/N didn't finish the sentence and looked directly at the man lying on the cold ground in front of her. She kneeled down and wiped off a drop of blood from his cheek.

"I don't know about you, Babe. You've made me feel so many different emotions no man has ever made me feel." she whispered, keeping her eyes fixated on him.

"Well, let me just... Fuck, Y/N! You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen. I can't just lose you."

She sighed looking at their intertwined hands as they both touched the other one unconsciously during the short conversation. And it just felt so right.

"We're staying for the night in the local church. We can talk this thing through there." Y/N winked at him with a sparkle in her eyes, like she used to do before Aldbourne.

Babe pulled her closer to him by her hand and put a strand of her Y/H/C hair behind her ear. She could hear him breathing and once again, he made her heart race like he did so many times before.

"Save that for later. I haven't forgiven you totally yet." Y/N mumbled not being able to move away from him.

"Just one kiss. That's all I ask."

And their lips connected after such a long time of loneliness, hurt and pain.

80 notes · View notes

80s-roger · 4 years

Text

Not On My Watch - pt2

Pairing: Dad!Roger and Mum!Reader

note: part two is here and embrace yourselves for the next one! Reminding that R/N means random name and also if you find my syntax or my voc messy and poor, that's because english is not my first language and I don't remember that many proficiency-level words :) enjoy

summary: you’re divorced with queen’s roger taylor due to constant cheating and irrational behaviour towards you. but u have one person in common: your daughter, Laura aka your favourite human on earth. Your marriage with roger had its ups and downs but laura was the happiness in it. Now that she’s 8 and starts to realise how your terms with roger are, you finally tell her that you’re seeing another man except her father and she took it really warmly. She seemed excited to meet the new man unlikely your ex-husband who accidentally learns about it by Laura, the weekend you would leave her at his place: on weekends you had some cute getaways with R/N because the court decided that Laura could stay or visit her dad on weekends and stay with him for five days each Christmas and Easter vacations. On summers he has the right to be with her for two weeks.

masterlist // part one // dialogue prompts

warnings: ehm nothing I guess

words: 2,458

taglist: @madeinheavxn @stacymaytaylor (if u want to be tagged just dm me :) )

Roger couldn't sleep after finding out you were living your life. He believed you would stay focused on Laura instead of fixing your love life. But jokes on him. You aren't committing any crime, don't feel guilty about it. He didn't even know how jealous he can be of you. Laura was with him, they spent a very productive weekend together. Freddie visited them and now he knows too. Roger opened up to his friend.

"She sleeps with that asshole, how can she do that?" He was furious. Laura was playing at the grass while the two friends were sitting at the garden's saloon.

"Pardon me Rog, but she does that with her will. She probably likes that man. Let her." Freddie got your back and that's what he is supposed to do because in this situation Roger is wrong.

"But Laura is too young to meet another man as a stepfather." He attempted to defend himself with his daughter.

"Laura also didn't have to listen to your daily fights before the divorce. Remind me, who was responsible?" Fred mocked him.

"Yes, I know. I'm not bragging for cheating on her, you know how tour life and being a rock star is." Roger explained but Freddie stopped him.

"John's also touring and he lives the rock star life but he's a family man and his heart is always home. Why aren't you like him?" Freddie was right. But Roger wouldn't accept it. He's arrogant.

"I'm not John. Okay?" He looked at Laura while she was playing. "But I love Laura with my entire heart. I don't like it when I can't see her more often..." His face was sad now.

"You could talk to Y/N about it," Freddie suggested.

"She would probably forbid me to see my kid after telling her." He giggled but deep down he believed it.

"Ah don't be ridiculous, she doesn't have the right as long as you give financial support every month for Laura." Freddie laughed but then they stopped talking because they heard your car. "Is s-she here? So early? It's not ten yet." Freddie asked and checked his watch.

"This bitch is really doing it on purpose. I will be right back." Roger got furious and stood up, to go inside his house and invite you in. Laura didn't notice a thing.

Roger opened the front door and what he saw wasn't the best thing in the world. You had the nerve to come with your new partner. Just to make him more jealous than he was all weekend. He turned red. He couldn't talk.

"Is Laura ready?" You asked ignoring his state of mind.

"No, she has no idea you're here. You were supposed to pick her up four hours later.". Roger crossed his arms and stared at the man next to you. A brunette tall man with nice muscles and a nice smile. But he is not Roger.

"Indeed, we just arrived earlier than we expected. Now call Laura, we have to go." You had to be really cold towards him or else you would break down and you didn't want that. You love him so much but you can't be with him. It doesn't work.

"Stop doing this. Fucking stop." Roger was going crazy. He destroyed you but you destroy him more.

"Stop what? I want my child." You arrogantly moved your shoulders.

"You can't keep me away from her as much as you want it. I have four hours left with her, you have to let me spend them with her. I'll bring her to your home." He tried to sound calm but his voice was trembling.

"Are you sure?" You asked confused.

"Yes, you don't have to shove your boyfriend right into my face. He's nice, but not your type." He laughed and that made you uncomfortable.

"Yo, stop disrespecting her or I'll beat you. She has told me stories about you. You're a high-quality rock star but a low-quality husband. Too pity." The brunette man said, trying to defend you but that made things worse. Roger and R/N would beat each other in front of you and the high-class neighbourhood.

"What the hell, stop you two right now. R/N get in the car. I'm coming." You got in the middle trying to stop the tension between these two. The man heard your order and waited for you at the car. "You are such a wanker." Your face was too close to his. There was eye contact again.

"Oh I won't be tonight." He winked and looked at R/N who wasn't looking at you two.

"What do you mean?" You asked confused. "You're supposed to bring Laura home."

"Of course I will. But not without getting what I want." He quickly checked on R/N and without hesitation, he stole a fast kiss from you.

"Fuck off, Roger!" You said and left without saying any other word. Neither Roger nor R/N. He's such a player. You like it.

Roger walked at the garden again, Freddie was showing the flowers to Laura and she looked curious trying to understand each name of a flower. Now that Freddie noticed Roger's figure he walked at him.

"What happened?" He asked.

"She literally brought that asshole to my door." Roger was shaken.

"Wow, did she? What about Laura?"

"I'll drive her at Y/N's." He seemed thoughtful and Fred noticed it.

"What are you thinking?" He asked. "Oh dear, don't tell me you're thinking of-" Fred couldn't believe Roger would invade that way.

"Why not? She just gave me a reason to do it. She still loves me and I know it. Her words mean nothing to me." He looked at his friend, searching for any advice.

"Make sure she'll accept it, or if she resists and tries to stop you, fucking stop, apologise and leave." He had a point. Fred knows about how you two met and how it ended.

Later

"I want to stay a little more daddy..." Laura whined as Roger helped her tie her shoes.

"So do I, but your mommy wants you to go home." He looked her into her same coloured eyes.

"This is my home too, isn't it?" She was sad.

"Of course it is, baby. But you have to grow up a little to decide in whose place you want to stay." Roger explained.

"I love my mum but I want to be with you, we don't spend much time together and I feel sad about it." She leaned towards his shoulder, hugging him tightly. The same thing happens every Sunday night. Roger was emotional after what his girl just said.

"I know but we do call each other every day, I'm not that far." He tried to comfort her as they got in his car.

"You are daddy, you're not with mum. I mean, I'm happy she found R/N but I prefer my family. In one house." Her voice lowered a bit. Roger didn't answer regardless of how much he wanted to.

"Here we are baby." Roger broke the silence after the drive. He carried the bags for her and they took the lift to reach your flat, on the third floor. "Do you know if R/N is at your home now?" He asked his daughter.

"I didn't saw his car, I don't know..." she negatively shook her head.

"It's okay." He smiled at her and here he was. In front of your door. Scared.

"Mum! I'm home!" Laura knocked on the door and Roger heard your footsteps and your laugh. He melted at the sound of it.

"Welcome home baby! Give me a hug!" You opened your arms to hold her tight. "I missed you." You looked at her being safe and sound.

Roger was constantly looking inside the living room and the kitchen, searching for the other man's figure. Until Laura spoke.

"Mum, is R/N here?" She asked.

"No, he left earlier, but he got you a present!" you smiled at her but she didn't look excited about. "What's wrong?" You asked her.

"Can daddy come inside? Please, mommy?" She begged you to bring your ex-husband in the house. You and Roger looked at each other with your blood freezing. That was fully unexpected.

"Honey, he is busy tonight... He is making music with uncle Fred, Deaky and Bri." You tried to kick him out of your house with the kindest way possible.

"Please mum, as a family..." she was sad when she said the word family. Poor her, she's only eight and has to go through this. You put your ego aside and listened to your daughter's wish.

"Baby, you don't have to press your mum if she doesn't want me inside." No, you do want him inside the house or in you.

"No, it's okay, you can come in..." you stood up again and made way for Roger to come in. He gave you a sweet kiss on your cheek before closing the door and leaving his jacket next to it.

"Yey!" Laura shouted fully excited.

"But baby, you have to get to sleep in a little. You have school tomorrow!" You walked with her at the bathroom trying to help her with her night routine.

"I know mum, but I will sleep happily tonight knowing you and dad will keep me company." She smiled at you. She's so happy.

"I'm happy you feel this way." You kissed her cheek.

Meanwhile, Roger was in the kitchen fixing drinks for the two of you. He was silent, supervising the room. There was nothing related to him. Or at least he thought. He was sitting at the balcony now, enjoying the view. West London looks so good by night. He was waiting for you.

"Goodnight baby I love you." You said to Laura before closing her room's door. You passed the kitchen, searching for Roger's figure but not any luck. You felt a warm breeze coming from the living room and you saw him outside the balcony.

"Oh, there you are." He smiled, offering your drink.

"Oh, thanks, guess I need it." You nodded as you were staring at the glass.

"I fixed us some drinks just for a chilling situation. How come needing a drink? I mean, you barely touched them." You both sat at the bamboo chairs your balcony has. Roger was into a conversation with you. And so did you, you really wanted to exchange dialogue. You felt so lonely.

"I don't really think you're the ideal person to talk to right now but I'll settle." You raised your shoulders as your eyes focused at the city's lights.

"I'm all ears, are you okay?" He asked after drinking.

"I bet you're wondering why R/N is not here right?" You turned your body at his side, now facing each other. Just a table beside you.

"To be honest, I am. Is this why you're not okay?" He was confused. But also curious to find out.

"Not that it's your business but I don't let him stay here. Not when Laura is here." You started.

"So? That's what you have to do. Neither do I bring women at my house when she's around." He kind of interrupted you, but you weren't in the mood.

"Not this time Roger, please. If you want to argue with me, just leave." You slightly closed your eyes, showing how tired you felt.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Did R/N do anything? Shall I intervene?" He asked as his hand tried to reach yours.

"No. He was so furious after visiting your place. I guess it's my fault. He felt I was taking advantage of him all this time so you'd be jealous b-but I date him a long time without you knowing." You briefly explained the issue.

"So what happened?" Roger asked looking thoughtful.

"He insisted on staying at my place tonight but I obviously refused. I've explained to him that I can't present him to Laura yet. Not until that diner." You exclaimed.

"So he kinda left forever?"

"No, I reckon it was a disagreement and he'll call tomorrow. But I think he insisted on staying here so you wouldn't appear tonight." You figured out why you guys fought before Roger came at your place with your child.

"Whether I'm here or not, he has to respect your decision. Probably he's jealous." He giggled at the last sentence as he finished his drink. His fingers tried to reach yours, trying to play with them or caress them.

"Jealous of what?" You questioned in confusion. "I'm a divorced mother." The title got you into your feelings. You never wanted to be divorced. Let alone with a child.

"Whose husband tries to reach her." He smiled and oh god, you had to be looking him that moment.

"Why? We ended it in bad terms. We even fight after ending it." You stated.

"I don't care. I can't stay away from you and Laura." His hand covered yours. Your eyes were focusing on his action.

Feeling this kind of pressure, you walked inside trying to calm down. Your heart was pounding fast. You went inside your bathroom, covering your face with some cold water. "Stop overthinking about it Y/N... Relax. He's your man. You love him, he's not a stranger, right?" You whispered to yourself as you tried to catch a breath.

Meanwhile, Roger went into your bedroom, checking out the place if there's anything that belongs to him. Kinda. At your nightstand, there was a frame of him, you and Laura. The day she was born. Roger seemed to be emotional at the sight of the family photo. At the parlour, there was a photo album, recently touched and seen. Photos of him and you when you were dating awakens his huge desire to make love to you. "There's still hope in this mess." He whispered to himself and rushed to the bathroom waiting for you to come out.

You came out looking fresh and calm. There was intense eye contact, a long-lasting one. His hand tried to reach yours but instead, it caught your buttcheeks because you climbed on him with your legs around his waist and your lips against his.

"I fucking missed you." You moaned between your passionate kiss.

"So did I." He said back and walked through your bedroom and gently closed the door with his feet. "I want to make love to you so bad. Please let me." He begged when he gently placed you on bed's pillows.

"Make me love." Your voice was smooth and passionate. You were ready to feel him again, you were craving for it.

TO BE CONTINUED!1!1

#roger taylor #roger taylor x you #roger taylor x female reader #roger taylor x oc #roger taylor x y/n #queen #queen band #freddie mercury #john deacon #brian may

67 notes · View notes

shxlbylore · 4 years

Text

Without You

John Shelby x Reader

Plot: John's assistant is dating Finn but recently they've been arguing more, yet to make matters even worse Y/N has fallen for John. At Grace and Thomas's engagement party they get too close for comfort.

Note: Super angsty, tw and cw for alcohol, smoking, drug mention, cheating and suggested smut at like a 12A level

"Fucks sake, what are we gonna do with you Y/N eh?" Arthur groans, swatting your grasping hand away from his jacket pocket, pulling out his cigarette box.

"Nothing unfortunately Arthur, stuck with me begging for cigs until your brother shows up." You pause, plucking a cigarette out and gesturing to Arthur to light you up; he huffs but obliges. It was no secret that old grumpy Arthur had a soft spot for you, in fairness most of the Blinders did. From the lads who patrolled the streets at night to the Shelby brothers themselves, you were fondly thought of and not just for your looks, but your intelligence, wit and charisma.

"Which brother are you waiting on this time then?" Arthur murmurs back with a smirk, carefully lighting the tip of the cig which hung between your coloured lips, earning an eye roll from you in return.

"Finn obviously."

"You're not overly picky about it though are you?" He prompts, raising any eyebrow. You felt your jawline flush with heat, you knew yours and John's chemistry hadn't gone unnoticed since you became his assistant just three short months ago but you hadn't known the office gossip had risen through the ranks of the business.

"Get me a drink?" You shoot back, he luckily is easily swayed out of that line of conversation and heads off to the bar leaving you alone in the booth. You hoped he'd thought you acted nonchalant but if Arthur knew, who else did? You knew Finn was oblivious. Michael had adopted a really annoying habit of raising his eyebrows whenever he spotted you even close to John or as soon as you said his name since he'd caught you staring at John at the Garrison when you were too pissed to care last month. For a psychic Poll seemed none the wiser. Tommy obviously knew and had appointed you as John's assistant to make a point.

You hadn't meant to of fallen for John. You were meant to be dating his younger brother. Since you'd moved to Birmingham a year prior you'd been close with Finn, but recently everything had changed. Finn was more withdrawn and seemed to only want to sniff Tokyo with Michael and Isaiah and commit arson when they got bored. Now most your nights were spent in the Garrison with Ada and the other brothers.

It wasn't like you and Finn were deeply in love. You just enjoyed his company, you made a good partnership but there was little passion. You didn't feel the draw you had to John with Finn, which made you feel endlessly guilty. It could've been so easy with Finn. Much easier than the awful tension between you and John which was overall pointless and exhausting.

A pair of strong arms encircled your waist and a kiss is pressed to your cheek, you offer a small smile, folding your arms onto his.

"Promise me our engagement party won't be as dead as this." Finn murmured into your ear, you release a small giggle in return, you felt cruel to be laughing at Grace and Thomas after everything they'd been through but you just couldn't deal with arguing with Finn tonight. He seemed to be in a better mood than he had lately, maybe you could make it work? You had your good moments after all. He quickly pulls away as Arthur heads back over with John trailing behind him, he pauses and traces your figure quickly before brushing his thumb over his bottom lip, suddenly in deep thought.

"You look nice Y/N, one of Ada's?" He asks, mouth slanted in approval of the fitted red dress, as he slides into the seat across from you. Yet he does not wait for a response instead he launches back into deep conversation with his brothers.

You sip from your glass of vodka in silence, watching Thomas and Grace dance and talk to their guests. That could easily be you and Finn in a few years. You recoil from the thought before a guilty pang arises squeezes deep within your chest. Shit.

Fuck it. You stood on shaky legs, you needed to get away from it all. You deserved a nice night. Whatever happened to just having fun? You headed to the dance floor where Liz and some of the other blinder wives and girlfriends were congregated.

Suddenly you were lurching away from the bar towards a woodpanelled back room. You had no idea how long you'd been dancing but your feet were burning, makeup smeared and heels cradled in your hand. Your shaking hands grab the brass handle and after great difficulty finally prised the door open and slammed it behind you, clutching you head at the bang. Your spine pressed against the heavy oak door, the cool air and silence enveloping you in relief.

"Y/N?" A low voice murmured somewhere in the depths of the dimly lit room. You opened your eyes, your pupils taking the time to adjust, finally making out the gloomy yet broad figure of John Shelby.

"Sorry John I'll leave you to-"

He cut you off by reclining further on the sofa, crossing his leg across the other, obviously relaxed in your presence.

"No, it's mad in there. Come on, rest for a bit."

He didn't need to tell you twice. You sat next to him on the luxiourously upholstered leather sofa, your bare knee just brushing his suit clad thigh, causing you to swallow deeply. You sit in silence, stealing a glance at him. He has his head tilted back, his eyes closed, his strong jawline catching in the flickering light. You swallow deeply, despite your intoxicated state you're more than capable of understanding how beautiful this man was. A slow smile brushes across his lips as he lazily opened one eye.

"You enjoying the view or sommet?" He teased.

"Or sommet." You replied flatly, breaking away from his stare.

"I'm not sure Miss Y/L/N. If Polly saw us now, right now. Just us, a dark room, sitting so close, anything could happen."

"Fuck off."

He chuckled, jostling your shoulder. When you moved your shoulder away he pauses, grabbing your chin and turning your head so that you have to look in his eyes. All amusement and playfulness has drained from his face, his expression softened with concern.

"What's up with you? You've not been yourself lately. "

"I'm fine."

"You're not. Come on tell me what's happened."

"Nothing just tired."

"Don't bullshit me, I know you. I know when you're hiding sommet." His face is so close to yours, you can feel his warm breath across your cheeks. You should pull away. You should get up and walk out of the pub. Go home and sleep it off. Wake up next to Finn. Settle down with him. Do what you're meant to.

"You have to tell me what's wrong. I don't like talking to anyone but you, without you I'm pretty much fucked."

You should do what you're meant to.

But you don't.

Instead his fingers find the back of your neck and you grasp the collar of his jacket, your propelled closer towards him, you lean forwards and close the gap breaking the two of you apart- your lips pressing against his firmly. He's shocked. He breaks away momentarily but suddenly pulls you closer to him, unable to reject you. You push his shoulder back and move on top of him, pressing him back into the soft leather. His fingers trace shapes across your waist and hips, soaking up the sensation of your hips against his, how helpless he feels that he can't stop himself. His mouth finds your neck as his hands wander lower, a soft moan encouraging him to whisper nonsensical yet affectionate phrases against your bare skin between bruising kisses. Rough fingers desperately fiddle with the ties on your dress before grasping at your shoulder blades, though he was trying to understand every inch of you. You'd never of expected him to be this way. From the rumours you'd heard expected him to be dominating you completely and ripping your clothes off but instead he was desperate for you, he was rough of course but the way he complimented you and affectionately touched you it was obvious he'd wanted you for a long time.

A loud cough came somewhere from behind you and John had firmly pushed you off the top of him and was standing protectively in front of your half dressed form. They're talking, well slurring to one another, a hushed argument of sorts but you're too gone to understanding what's going on completely.

Footsteps.

Michael looms somewhere above you, in a fog of black swirls.

"Come on Y/N you've had your fun. Let's get you home and sober up." He tells you firmly as he helps you stand, you stagger falling to the side but John catches you by the waist, supporting you as you steady yourself.

"You two have fucked it completely." Michael murmurs, as John helps you do up the row of buttons at the back of your dress. He pushes him off and rebuttons the closure properly.

It's not clear if he's referring to just the crooked red silk buttons.

"Y/N we need to get you home. John-"

"Fuck off Michael." He snaps back, the realisation of what's going to happen finally cutting through the haze of his stupor.

"I'm not the one who tried to shag my brother's girlfriend." Michael states, causing John to release a frustrated groan in reply as he pours another drink. "You've had enough of that mate."

You're being led through the bustling crowd of the Garrison, Michael's strong arms steering my shoulders through the crowd.

"Y/N! We've been looking for you-" Finn yells, his smile bright as he grabs at your sleeve clumsily, but his eyes are red and dilated, he's obviously wired. He lifts your chin up and his face falls. "Y/N? Michael why's she crying what's happened?"

You hadn't even noticed the hot tears streaming down your cheeks until Finn had wiped them away with thumb and index finger, it only made you cry harder, face contorting.

"I'm taking her home Finn, she had too much to drink. You know how she can get. You stay here. I'll sort her."

Finn nods and presses a polite kiss to your forehead before losing himself in the crowd, possibly to seek the next thrill of the night. He'd soon forget you.

You were being dragged down the dark alleys by Michael, you were glad of his company even though you could tell he was furious by the rigidity of his shoulders and the way the muscle jumped in his jaw and temple. He rested your back against a lamppost as he fiddled with the key in the rusting lock, when he eventually forced the door open he pulled you into Polly's home.

You closed your eyes, exhausted and overwhelmed, letting him guide you up the stairs to his attic bedroom. You collapse onto his soft worn bed and feel the first waves of sleep crash over you. He turns off the light but before he slams the door he hesitates.

"You've massively fucked it this time."

#john shelby x reader #peaky blinders #finn shelby #michael shelby #Angst

13 notes · View notes

wordlessbabbling · 4 years

Text

Gun Metal and Daisies (Thomas Shelby)- Chapter 11

If I cannot bend Heaven, I will raise Hell.

Masterlist

"Aphrodite," I plead to the moon drenched sky "Tell me; if love is meant to heal, then why does it destroy those who choose it?"

From somewhere beyond the clouds, I heard the Goddess laugh.

And I knew.

Saturday.

It had been two days since that day.

That awful day.

That wonderful day.

After Bubs - or, er - Thomas was all stitched up and talking again. They found themselves talking about everything and nothing. Dorothy thought back to that day and sighed: things did not end on a good note.

——

Thomas and Dorothy howled with laughter as Thomas re-told some childhood stories, mostly centred around his brothers antics as they got into God-knows-what.

After sobering up, Thomas thought back to her words earlier that evening.

"The man I've spent time with is Bubs. I've been naïve to think I knew him-."

Thomas also realised that he knew nothing of the girl other than the basic small talk things they had previously discussed.

"So where about are you based? I've never seen you 'round ole' Watery Lane before, eh?"

His question made her stiffen. The life at home that she'd forgotten about when she was with him came rushing back in a blur, all too familiar.

"Oh, that's nothing to worry about, Bubs." Dorothy's smile wasn't genuine but just a quip to get Thomas off her back so she wouldn't have to answer questions.

Seeing her stiffness, he decided that maybe the question could wait for another time; "so still Bubs, eh?" He nudged gently.

"Of course you are! Still my good friend Bubs." She smiled proudly.

Thomas' heart twanged at her words.

The light-hearted conversation moved on, at one point, Dorothy broke open a tin that had boiled sweets in them, Thomas recognised the sweets as the ones the lady down the market used to sell before she passed.

"She gave me the recipe for them when I told her I was baking sweets in the bakery, she said 'I always remember you youngins coming into ma shop and feastin' on ma boiled sweets! I always knew how you liked 'em!'"

Dorothy giggles at the accent and Thomas smiled fondly at the memory of the lady.

Thomas like he'd stated previously, never had a sweet tooth, especially not after the war; but he did indulge a bit in the boiled sweets he remembered so strongly from when he was young and wide-eyed.

The conversation carried on, Thomas spoke with as big gestures as he could manage with his injured shoulder. He talked about his brothers, his sister, his Aunt Pol. For a brief moment he even mentioned a memory he had of his mother. Dorothy felt like she knew them personally from the stories Thomas told.

Dorothy knew what happened in that home before the war. She did grow up on the same streets as the Shelby boys, albeit, she didn't hang around them, but she knew of them.

She knew that their mother died. She knew that their father left. She knew of the Gray children being taken away. She knew of all of it.

Thomas paused when he'd realised he'd been talking for fifteen minutes straight - more than he had in a long time - and looked at Dorothy intently.

"Well I think I've talked enough about my escapades and family; what about yours?"

Thomas knew she knew all of the things that had occurred in his boyhood, so he found it highly unfair that he didn't know any of hers.

Dorothy didn't smile at the question or shake her head like she usually did. Instead a frown placed its way on her face. Her hands which had been sitting in her lap previously were now dancing about. Her fingers in one hand danced around on the back of the other in her lap. Thomas noticed she did this when she got nervous. She'd done it that morning when his men had walked into the pub.

Thomas also frowned at the sight; he thought she would do what she did earlier and change the subject but instead, she only smiled a nervous smile.

She spoke of when she was young. She spoke of a time when she could eat at least one good meal a day. When she could still go down to the sweet shop. When she had full cheeks and a rosy face to match.

She didn't speak of home or her family. Thomas also noticed this but decided it good to let her talk of what she wanted.

"I remember actually when I was still in school - I was in Johns year, and one day at lunch, John kicked a ball and it hit me square in the face." Dorothy broke out into a fit of giggles.

"He didn't even notice, he just ran in, scooped the ball back up and ran back to you lot." Dorothy cringed at the memory.

"Yeah that sounds like John-boy."

Thomas continued, "So you're the same age as John, you went to the same school as we did, I must have come into contact with you at some point!"

Dorothy thought for a moment before clicking her fingers, "I think there was this one time! It was at the cut, I think. I was running around with friends, doing god-knows-what and I think you and Freddie Thorne were racing each other to the other side of the river, when one of my friends picked up Freddie's clothes and your shirt and ran off with them!" Dorothy roared with laughter as she trailed off at the end, trying to keep her giggles controlled.

"That was you!" Thomas could only gape at her.

"Well, technically it wasn't me, it was my friends, but sure." She shrugged and doubled over in laughter once again.

Thomas only shook his head at the memory. The two of them had got out, Freddie had to trek back down Watery Lane in only his shorts while Thomas had his suspenders on. Thomas got a right earful from Polly that night.

Thomas scowled a bit, but couldn't hold it at the sight of Dorothy clutching her belly with laughter.

Thomas thought that by asking her all these questions, he could get a bit further to the truth of who she was.

If Thomas was being honest with himself, he knew it would only take a bit of digging for him to work out who she was. But for some unknown reason to him, he decided that he liked the mysterious aura that came with this petite girl.

But despite all this; Thomas was tired of beating around the bush.

He slapped his hands on his thighs and stated, "right. Go on then. Let's hear who you are. I think it's only fair, don't you? Eh?" Thomas not so subtly inquired.

Dorothy's mood dropped.

She wasn't one to get angry, and she certainly wasn't angry, she didn't do angry. But she was definitely a little miffed right now.

She knew that if she told Bubs who she was, he'd look into her and see everything about her. He'd look into her home life and see pity. He'd look into her mind and see bells of warning that never stopped ringing. He'd look into her heart and determine that though, broken, it was unbearably full and for a man like Thomas Shelby, he wouldn't be comfortable with a heart like hers.

"Who are you to sit here and talk to me about being fair? Your whole business is built on the foundations of murder and petty lying. Don't talk to me about fair, Shelby."

Dorothy wasn't angry.

But it was in that moment she saw him, Thomas Shelby. She saw that killer in his eyes flash for a second then disappear.

Thomas' gaze softened when the impact of her words hit him.

It was then, he learnt another thing about Bonny. She was kind, but she wasn't weak.

Kindness is often mistaken for weakness and that is a mistake you don't want to make.

Kind people are not born that way, they do not stumble into it, kind people are forged in fire and darkness and imploding stars... they have steel cores. Throw a punch and you'll break your hand.

The devil runs when the good man goes to war.

Their silence lasted until Thomas heard his name being shouted in the streets. He didn't realise just how much time he'd spent in the bakery.

Dorothy sat in her chair. She felt guilty for her words, but she had no other way of keeping her name close to her heart. Thomas could read her like a book if he wanted to.

But unlike Thomas, she was not burdened with her name. She had no squander with the way people spoke her name.

So she kept it close to her heart.

Because it was then, she knew, that once Thomas Shelby had her name, her heart would surely follow, not far behind.

Thomas stared at her for another moment. He lifted himself out of his chair, groaning in slight pain which made Dorothy flinch.

He left the shop, the bell chiming loudly enough to shake the tension but not push it to leave.

But he left. Without so much as a goodbye.

Dorothy sat for another moment. She sighed and got to work with cleaning up.

——

So no. Thursday did not end on a good note.

But lucky for Dorothy, it was Clear-out day. So hopefully the people of the market, would surely keep her busy.

But never enough to distract her from the aching pain in her stomach as she thought of her friend.

——

Awww this one was kinda sad.

Well anyway, thank you for 300 reads! The support is crazy!

Thanks for the love.

Feedback and comments are wanted.

See ya next time!

#peaky blinders story #peakyblinders #thomas #thomas shelby fluff #thomas shelby x oc #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x oc #tommyshelby #thomas shelby fic #thomasshelbyfluff #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby fanfic #tommy #peakyblinderstv #peaky fookin blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagine

16 notes · View notes

jacobseedvaas35 · 5 years

Text

A Love Like No Other

Jacob Seed X OC Ana Pearce

Warnings: Violence, Mention of Abuse and Smut

Word Count: 1249

Chapter Eight

The next morning, Jacob woke up, had his shower and got dressed. He walked out off the bathroom and looked at down at his sleeping beauty, peacefully snoozing away. Jacob walked up to Ana and kissed her bare back, then her on the cheek.

Ana smiled and opened her eyes. She turned around and sat up, not caring that her bare chest was visible to her lover. "You heading to work?".

"Yeah. Shouldn't be a long day, so I'll be back home earlier" Jacob replied back.

"I'll miss you"

"I'll miss you too" Jacob said and kissed her on the corner of the lip, then kissed her on the lips.

"Was last night good for you? You know, being my first time and all" Ana asked, blushing as she remembered the pleasurable events last night.

"It was perfect" Jacob whispered. "I hope I didn't hurt you? Couldn't help myself with the whole roughness. It's been years for me".

"You didn't hurt me" Ana placed her hand on his scarred cheek. "I'm so damn glad that I lost my virginity to you".

"I'm honoured that I was the man you chose to be your first"

"And last. There won't be another man in my life. It's just going to be you and you only, in my life"

"I love you Ana"

"I love you too Jacob. You better get going to work and I better jump into the shower"

"I'll see you tonight"

Ana had her shower, got changed and left her cabin to meet up with her sisters and Faith, for breakfast. She walked into the dining room, where the girls were all sitting and eating. She greeted them in a happy way and took a seat next to Hannah.

"Ana? You're glowing girl. What happened?" Hannah asked.

"Oh nothing" Ana replied back and started putting food on her plate.

"Hannah is right. Look at you" Faith joined in the conversation. "Tell us".

Ana became embarrassed and smiled. "Something special happened last night".

"Like what?" Hannah asked.

"Jacob and me.. you know.."

"Know what? Spit it out Ana" Haley became impatient.

Ana sighed and looked up at the three girls. "We had sex for the first time, last night".

"WHAT?" The three girls screamed with joy.

"Oh my god Haley, our little sister isn't a virgin anymore" Hannah said. "Why am I so happy about this? I'm so fucking weird".

"You really are" Ana laughed.

"So tell us. What was it like? What's Jacob like?" Hannah started asking so much questions. "Oh my god, I need to shut up now".

"It was actually an amazing experience" Ana said an put a slice of cucumber in her mouth. "Jacob was a little rough but made the experience a lot more enjoyable".

"I wish Joseph was rough" Haley added without realising what she had just said.

"Umm ok" Hannah chuckled then turned back to Ana. "How do you feel?

"I feel...amazing" Ana replied back.

"We can tell. Hannah is definitely right. Your experience last night, has you glowing today" Faith smiled. "I'm happy for you and Jacob. This is definitely a big step in your relationship".

"It really is. You girls don't understand. Jacob makes me extremely happy. I couldn't imagine myself with another man but Jacob".

“That's adorable Ana. We are all behind you and Jacob" Haley said.

After spending a whole afternoon with her sisters and Faith, Ana decided to enjoy the beautiful sunny weather on the pier next to Joseph's church. She soaked her feet in the cool lake water and listened to the birds chirping in the distance. She took in a deep breath of the fresh air and closed her eyes.

"Ana"

She opened her eyes and turned her head. Immediately a huge smile broke out on her face and she was up on her feet.

"You're home early" Ana said and ran straight into Jacob's arms. Her arms wrapping around his neck. "Welcome home".

"What were you doing?" Jacob asked.

"Just relaxing. Had a good day with Faith and my sisters. We went shopping"

"You buy anything?"

"Two new dresses and some shoes"

"Hmm. Can I see them?"

"Nope. You have to wait for John and Hannah's wedding" Ana joked.

"That's two months away" Jacob sighed. He held her hand and the two of them walked back to the small pier. "Ana?"

"Yes Jacob"

"Last night. It didn't ruin anything between us?"

"No of course not. Last night was actually very special for me and I'm sure it was special for you too"

"It really was. I'll be honest with you. Back when I was younger, I've been with a few woman" Jacob admitted. "But none of them are like you Ana. You are so much more special then any woman I've met in my life. I would give my life for you. I'd do anything to make sure that, the rest of my life is spent with you".

Ana looked at Jacob with a lot of love. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. "I want the same Jacob".

"Good because I'm not letting you go that easily" Jacob chuckled. "You're mine and mine only. Last night, I claimed you".

"Claimed me?" Ana said, raising her eyebrows and smirking a flirt smirk.

"I planted my seeds in you baby" he leaned down and whispered in her ear. "Where they belong".

"So naughty" Ana laughed. "Come on, let's go get something to eat".

"Yes. I'm starving" Jacob said. Ana walked from the front but was immediately stopped by Jacob, who then threw her over his shoulder and carried her to Joseph's house.

"Jacob" Ana said, laughing her head off.

"What? I don't want my lady to walk"

"how romantic" Ana teased.

"Oh honey, I'll show you romantic if you want?" Jacob flirted, slapping her butt.

"Umm Jacob. Where are you going? Joseph's house is over there" Ana pointed out after realising that Jacob was going in a different direction.

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean I was starving for food" Jacob joked. "I'm starving for you Ana".

"my god, you are so bad Jacob"

"Welcome to my world honey. This is who you chose to be with".

Her nails dug deep in Jacob's back skin. He growled against her neck as he reached his end. Ana letting out a moan and kissing Jacob's cheek. He stayed on top of her until he got his breath back. Ana stroke his hair, comforting him as he got his energy back.

"You hungry for food now?" Ana whispered.

"I can definitely do with some lunch after that" Jacob replied back.

Ana sat up and put her dress back on, before trying to climb out off bed. Unfortunately for her, Jacob wasn't making it easy for her.

“How do you expect me to get you lunch ready, if you don't let me out off bed?" Ana asked.

Jacob started to tickle her, making her laugh too much that tears started forming in her eyes.

“Put your clothes on" Ana said through her heavy breathing.

"Why? Don't like what you are seeing?"

"Complete opposite. Seeing you naked like this, turns me on" Ana replied.

"I'm honoured" Jacob responded.

"And I'm hungry, so get dressed for goodness sake" Ana said and finally managed to get off the bed. "Steak sandwich?".

"Sure" Jacob replied back.

In a quick flash, Ana ran out off the bedroom and into Joseph's house, to get her man some food.

#jacob seed #ana pearce #jacob seed x oc #a love like no other #far cry 5 obsessed #far cry 5 #far cry 5 fandom

5 notes · View notes

habibialkaysani · 7 years

Text

Happier (Oliver/Felicity; T)

Ships: Oliver/Felicity

Summary: Set at the end of 5x18. Felicity asks to take a look at Oliver’s wounds.

A/N: Title taken from the Ed Sheeran song of the same name.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

“The new lineup could use a little more green, Hoss,” says Rene.

“I’m not quite there yet,” Oliver says. “But I’m thinking that with this team behind me, it’ll be sooner rather than later.” “Well, good,” says Felicity. “Not that black isn’t a great look on you and all, but I prefer the green.”

Oliver smiles, turning to Felicity, just as the rest of the team murmur their goodbyes and begin to disperse from the room.

“I do too,” Oliver admits, “but it’s too soon.”

“That’s okay,” Felicity says. “Take your time.”

“You mean with the hood or with what Chase did to me?”

She considers. “Both. But, uh, speaking of which, your tussle with Anatoly may have worsened your injuries, so for the love of God, if you’re not going to see an actual doctor can you at least let me check on your wounds?”

Oliver chuckles faintly, unzipping his jacket to reveal his bandaged chest. “Sure.”

When he looks down, though, he groans inwardly; Felicity was right. Half his bandages are coming off, and the place where his Bratva tattoo used to be definitely looks infected.

“Oh, frack, that doesn’t look good,” Felicity says, frowning as she peers at his wounds. “Sit down, I’ll clean you up.”

She goes to the first aid cupboard and Oliver watches as he sits down on one of the more comfortable chairs in the corner of the room, wincing at the sudden pain he can feel. He takes off his jacket completely, and, closing his eyes, he peels off the gauze that is still half-attached to his chest.

“Fucking hell,” he mutters under his breath, but Felicity still hears him, and she just raises her eyebrows at him as she sets down the antiseptic, gauze, cotton wool and tape on the table then gets down on her knees in front of him. She’s got gloves on, but even so he has to hold his breath as she leans right up against his knees so she can examine his chest.

“Yep, that is definitely infected,” she concludes, apparently not realising the effect she still has on him. “Perks of self-care instead of going to see an actual doctor.”

“Doctors ask questions.”

“At the very least you could have let me patch you up,” she says.

“I wish I had,” he admits.

“This is going to hurt,” Felicity says apologetically, as she wets some cotton wool with antiseptic and carefully wipes the wound. Oliver winces. “Sorry.”

“‘S’okay,” he replies. “Not as bad as what he did to me. He, uh, set fire to it,” Oliver explains, and Felicity’s hand stills on his chest.

“Oh my God,” Felicity breathes. “He did what?”

“Yeah, he got a blowtorch and… said it would remind me of what he did to me every time I looked at my tattoo.”

“I remember you telling me how you got this tattoo,” she says.

Oliver remembers, too. They were in bed, listening to the sound of the ocean in Penang Island, when he told her the story of his time in the Bratva. He remembers her kissing that spot on his chest, while her hand trailed down to the tattoo Constantine gave him, and lower, lower…

“Oliver?”

Felicity’s voice interrupts his train of thought - and just in time, too.

“Yeah?” he just about manages to say.

“What’s on your mind?” she asks softly.

“I’m just… wondering how you got that footage of Chase,” Oliver lies. Her gaze drops back to his chest, as she peels off the next bandage where Chase shot him with an arrow (he’s bled right through it, but thankfully this one at least doesn’t seem to be infected).

“Ah.”

“Felicity, I know you’re working with Helix. John told me. And… I don’t know much about them, but they seem pretty illegal -”

“- like our operation isn’t?” Felicity counters.

“- even by my standards,” Oliver finishes. “And, look, you’re a grown woman who can make her own decisions.”

Unexpectedly she meets his eyes and smiles. “Thank you for noticing.”

“But I just don’t want you to get in over your head.”

“I won’t,” says Felicity, dressing his wound with a fresh bandage. “Besides - look at all the intel I’ve got from working with them. We managed to save your girlfriend, for one thing -”

“She’s, uh, actually not my girlfriend anymore,” Oliver admits. “I - broke it off with her yesterday.”

“You did? Why?”

“Because I was right all along,” Oliver says with a sigh. “This life - I can’t have both. I can’t care about someone and be this - vigilante, this leader that everyone needs me to be.”

“I seem to recall we did a pretty good job at it when we were together,” Felicity says, busying herself with wiping away the dried blood on his abdomen and not looking him in the eyes.

“Yeah, until I screwed that up too,” he says bitterly.

“But you looked happier, Oliver,” she tells him, patching up the last of his wounds and then standing up, taking off her gloves. “Being with someone.”

“I was happier with you,” he tells her truthfully as he gets to his feet too.

Felicity closes her eyes, as though wishing they weren’t having this conversation.

“You don’t get to say that anymore,” she tells him in a voice that is suddenly thick with tears. “I’ve moved on. We’ve moved on.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn't… have an agenda, or anything. God knows, even if you did feel the same way after all this time, I couldn't… be with you if I tried.”

Felicity takes off her glasses, wipes away the tears that have sprung in her eyes. “And why is that? Because of what Chase said?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, Felicity - I was just - being honest. I didn’t mean to -”

But to his surprise he breaks off as Felicity unexpectedly lifts her hand to his cheek. He closes his eyes, letting her thumb caress his jaw. “It’s okay,” she tells him softly. Her phone beeps, then, and she picks it up from the table and reads a text. “I have to go.”

“Helix?”

“Yeah,” she answers. She heads to the elevator and Oliver watches as she presses the button and the doors open. She steps inside. “But… Oliver?”

“Yeah?” he says, looking up.

“For the record… I was happier with you too.”

Tagging: @felicityollies @yellowflicker09011996 @irene-cupcake @unkemptseeker @mr-yesbody@allyedgarmoon @coffee-with-ellie @pleasantfanandstudent @galaxyiris @voidriphunter@bifelicitys @polymathmagnus @hollywoodkats @youngfolksoldsoul @lexi951

#olicitysquee #olicity #oliver x felicity #olicity fanfiction #olicity fic #arrow fanfiction #arrow #oliver queen #felicity smoak #otp: i will always care about you #mine #my fic

118 notes · View notes

amatchforyourmadness · 4 years

Text

Summary: If love was easy, Finn wouldn't have slept with Clarke five days into meeting her and Emori wouldn't be turned on by him only when he was recklessly putting his life on the line. Raven wasn't easy either, to her credit and his frustration, but she was comforting enough.

——

Chapter: 1/20.

Chapter Title: Abditory (read on AO3)

Abditory

(n.) a place into which you can disappear, a hiding place

He wasn't a fan of books, really, and he certainly wasn't a fan of dictionaries, but that one seemed interesting enough.

Mostly because he was bored.

Echo and Bellamy were using the one room with a proper television for date night and all other books (exactly 6 of them) were either taken (Harper and that romance about the rich douche and the witty girl who lowers his standards), too complicated for him (some advanced chemistry shit that even Monty hadn't dared touch) or too complicated and taken (Raven and all the mechanic-related things about the ship and Monty once more with the guide to the synthetic crops of the ring).

He had hoped to use it on Emori; romantic words and poems were worth a shot to try and fuel that relationship as long as he could get it to last (probably not much) and he was always the closeted romantic. Nevertheless, the poetry book he could swear had been on the stand on the first day they had arrived in the Ring had disappeared, and Harper had swore she had not took it or seen it (and obviously he wasn’t about to go around asking people for a poetry book that he had probably made up). Three weeks in, he had become fascinated with the various words of seemingly different origins and all their meanings. In the ring, bored and restricted as they were, with most people getting the fun things first no one really missed a dictionary, so Murphy kept it without ever talking about it out loud.

So now he was in his abditory… And by that he meant Raven's lab, observing as she read lines of codes with blueprints displayed in every other screen, trying to link one thing to the other with such a concentrated expression she might as well have forgotten the rest of the universe existed. The frown to her brows, tho, was not good news and it did little to see such as faint hints of frustration and despair worked their way into her features, leaving Raven ever more tense and making her look ever more tired. Maybe he ought to ask, maybe he ought to offer his assistance, to try to help, but he has the nagging feeling he will be undoubtedly useless and that she would not very much like to answer him, anyways. Instead, he knocked softly against the doorframe he had been leaning. Her dark eyes rose to him, less surprised than curious about the visitor only for her to smile tiredly at the sight of him and return her gaze to her work.

“You do know this is my work area, not your hangout spot, right?"

“Yeah, but you're my hangout person and you won't ever leave this place so….”

She grunts something similar to a “touché” and he takes it as permission to stay (not that he needed anyways), making his way to behind her so he could watch over her shoulder whatever it was she was working in. It was worse than greek, and he had never even seen how greeks wrote back in the day.

He bet Bellamy knew though, the absolute nerd.

“How're you doing today, John?”

“Well enough.” He shrugs, snickering as he looked for somewhere to lean into. “Ate Monty's algae and didn't get comatosed. I appreciate the small things. You?”

“Trying to figure this ship out but what else is new?” Raven says, hand rested against her waist as she sighs heavily. “I hate to say it, but I miss ALIE sometimes.The bitch made everything easier, killing me or not.”

He grimaces at that, turning to her with disapproval all but irradiating from him like Clarke and Bellamy were prone to do.

“I'm biased, but I would put my life in Raven's hand a thousand times and in the lunatic AI who bombed Earth, hmmm, let me see… zero. Give yourself some credit, Reyes, you survived the end of the world. This is but a machine.”

“Did you honestly just reference Monty Phyton?”

“Yes. Go on, praise me, I'm many things but an uncultured swine isn't one of them. Hey, do you think that's where our Monty got his name from?”

“I sincerely doubt it.”

The good humour hangs on the air for a moment or two, before she's back at her work and John is back at being a living carpet, eyes closed and listening to the sounds Raven makes, reassuring him she's there still and still very willing to pay him company.

In a comfortable silence like that, all he had were his thoughts. And his thoughts were that abditory was a weird fucking world, but it has a nice meaning. But above all of this, he wonders how does one pinpoints their own when they have more options to them than the handful of rooms in a spaceship floating about space ( yes, he knows they're drifting, Raven, but he'll use the word he wants).

How did the lucky few who survived on the bunker below them found an abditory? Was there even a peaceful place for them to find in there? Had the ground ever had a peaceful place anywhere on it? Had space?

He frowns and cracks one of his eyes open at the curse Raven lets out from above him, pushing the papers and the screens away and taking her hands to her face and hair as she tried to work out her frustration.

There are a couple of realisations that hit him at once.

“Hey.” John offers, nudging her foot with his gently, until she glances downwards to him with that tired but endeared expression, actually taking a break from her work to hear him out. “You'll figure this out. You always do.”

Nowhere was peaceful. People made it peaceful, as much as they could manage.

She smiles, letting her head fall and shaking it lightly with a chuckle. He watches as she takes in a deep breath, nods to herself a couple of times and then at him once. She moves, braced leg and slight winces of pain, and bushes his foot back.

There was no natural abditory, no hole to hide on that a person could conveniently stumble on and settle for. People made their own abditory.

“Thank you, Murphy.”

And he quite liked his.

#the 100 #cw the 100 #ao3 the 100 #john Murphy #Raven Reyes #murven #season 4 #season 5 #PRODUCTIVITY WEEK BEACH

0 notes