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#I didn't leave it a mess at all. Like most of it is untouched but all my bathroom stuff is still in the bathroom and the bed is unmade.

mksbigg3stfan · 3 days

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Ok, I haven't seen people talking much about Sun Wukong and Macaque's relationship as platonic, so I'm going to do my take on it. No hate to the shadowpeachers! But I want to talk about their platonic dynamic!! If you want to take this for proof of relationship or whatever, anything like that with shipping, it won't bother me.

A pretty good example of the past flaws in their friendship was displayed in the S4 special. When Macaque goes to see Wukong, he brings an offering for him, one of friendship. He knows Wukong likes peaches, that they're his favorite food, and he is in a way returning the favor of Wukong always feeding him peaches as a sign of companionship. To Macaque, that is what they are, at least.

When he offers the peach to him, he is mirroring Wukong's behaviors. He's calling him bud, referring to the peach as "a lil somethin" in an attempto to cheer him up, because ironically, Wukong is the cheeriest and freest person he knows. Wukong is already extremely agitated, and as a reactive person, he lashes out at Macaque. To him, Macaque is looking down on him, demeaning him by offering him only a single peach. In his eyes, he has only come to laugh in his face.

Macaque seems to expect a reaction like this, barely phased. He just says, "Ok, you didn't have to be so you about it." Macaque can easily understand why Wukong is angry about being sealed under the mountain, but he is still tired of Wukong's self-importance and impulsive behaviors. It seems like most of the things he does are sweeped away by Wukong, deemed useless since he is clearly not as strong as The Great Sage Equal to Heaven.

S2 Episode 7 delves more into Macaque's insecurities while being companions with Wukong and how he felt simply brushed aside. Even though he felt this way, he didn't exactly hold a large resentment for Wukong, and it's clear that Wukong cared for him at that time, too. He brought Macaque along with him on journeys, ate with him, and called him bud.

Still, as Wukong drew further and further into his quest for power, he became so fixated on his goal that he pushed Macaque aside. As he grew more powerful, his achievements overcast Macaque, who was bound to him as a shadow is to the sun. Wukong, however, only became more and more frustrated. He wanted to be stronger and prove himself. And as Macaque watched silently, and Wukong dove headstrong into danger, the divide between the two grew deeper.

When Wukong says, "Oh, sure, 'cause normally you'd just rush to my rescue!" He is referring to him being the stronger of the two, Macaque only fighting alongside him and comparing the two's power. He is saying that Macaque is much too cowardly to fight for him. He feels betrayed by him, since he believes that if Macaque was in his position, he would fight to save him or try to remove the seal.

Not to mention Wukong's extreme fear of mortality. Every action he takes echoes his fear, his push to be stronger, more powerful, the most powerful. It's not enought to have seven failsafes, he needs more. He needs to know absolutely for sure that he is untouchable. Because the thought of death, of coming to terms with his own end, having all his power ripped away - it terrifies him. He's been mortal before, and his fear of death has never left.

Macaque by now is sick of this behavior, being cast aside like he's unimportant. So he attempts to leave. Until Wukong claims that he always runs away. But he's always by his side, he plays the loyal sidekick just like Wukong wants, what more does he possibly want from him? Why does he always want more? Can't he be happy with what he has?

To him, it seems like Wukong is dragging people much weaker than him around, putting them in danger because of his quest for power. People getting hurt, harsh repercussions, just because he can't quit when enough is enough.

Wukong, however, only sees this as Macaque disapproving of his goal. "You're not in this mess! You're still free!" As Wukong sees it, he's always been free to leave whenever he wants. But he hasn't. He's still here, and he can free him now! "Everything I did was for us!" He needed to be stronger to protect his friends, Macaque, most importantly, himself.

But Macaque sees through him. Protecting those he cares about may have once been his goal, but now, it's just a thirst for power out of fear and desperation. He warned Wukong he wasn't strong enough, but like always, he doesn't listen to anyone but himself. He stubbornly went in, and got himself trapped.

When Wukong says, "I really wanted that peach," it's obviously meant to insinuate his hunger, but he refused it from Macaque so as to not hurt his pride. But really, to Macaque and Wukong, the peaches remind them of the old times. Their companionship and close friendship. Dinners and conversations of days past, when they got along.

He wants to keep being friends, but like a fool, he refused Macaque's companionship. The peach.

Leaving him sealed underneath flowerfruit mountain, to sit and stay, a place where no one can hear him and nothing moves, almost like the stillness of death.

After a few hundred yearsx he begins traveling with Tripitaka and the group, forced to fo through a journey of self improvement. When Macaque meets him again, it's hard for him to admit that Wukong is changing for the better. He doesn't know what else to do with the hate and regret festering him besides hate Wukong.

However, now that Lady Bone Demon is defeated and Macaque is free, in his redmeption arc, the two are growing into closer friends again. The scars of the past are still there, but they're both improving.

I'm not saying that Macaque is perfect, absolutely not. I'm also not saying that Wukong is an evil, bad, super awful flawed guy. They've both done terrible things, they're both flawed. But they are redeeming themselves and getting over the past.

#lmk #lmk swk #lmk sun wukong #sun wukong #sun wukong lmk #lego monkie kid sun wukong #lego monkie kid swk #lego monkie kid #six eared macaque #lmk macaque #lego monkie kid macaque

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chuluoyi · 7 months

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everything, but not anything

- gojo satoru x reader

you were his last remainder of the happiest blue spring in his life, until your untimely demise. and on the death's door, he finally found you again.

genre/warnings: angsty wangsty, consolation towards the end

notes: i said i can't create gojo fics without feeling depressed, so here i present to you, angst. it's inspired from a thread in twitter i read about how gojo was given everything but he couldn't do anything and my heart just incredibly hurts and―this happened. it's unedited because the idea popped into my mind at 1 in the morning

i wrote this while listening to this wonderful song. consider it the theme song for this piece. i highly recommend you to read this and listen to it!

[update] sequel -> found you

series masterlist | oneshot masterlist

You were so pretty. So really pretty, in fact. And he likes pretty things. Perhaps that was what spurred him to spontaneously ask you out.

You declined him at first―after all, he was a special grade weirdo. And you half-expected him to give up soon enough, only that he didn't. He persisted like a cockroach, smothering you with his very being. Then like a sweet romance novel, you too finally fell for him, melting at his clumsy attempts to woo you.

And by God, you were happy together. To Satoru, it was the brightest, most vibrant page in his life. And with his very being, he would do everything he could to protect you. After all, he was blessed with the best, he had all means to protect you.

He should've known better.

It started with his failed star plasma vessel mission. Riko was dead, and at that time he was just numb. Later, he made excuses. He couldn't have foreseen that a sorcerer killer would join the fray and made a mess of things.

But then his best friend, Suguru, left. Satoru couldn't make excuses any longer. For that, he was wholly responsible. From then, he realized that just being strong wasn't enough. And throughout those dark days, you were with him, consoling him as you brought his head to your chest, letting him sleep in your arms.

"Don't ever leave me, okay?" he whispered at the dead of the night with hoarse voice. It made your heart sting. You nodded and ran your fingers throughout his hair, mumbling a soft "of course."

And you never did. You were always by his side.

Satoru was really grateful for that. To have the last years of your life by his side. Looking back, it was like a beautiful mirage.

He had hidden himself behind the facade of the strongest. The unreachable. Untouchable. It felt nice, still is. Before he had known it, he had drawn this line between himself and other people. Between him and you. He wasn't lonely, but he was at the very same time.

And perhaps he had gotten way too arrogant, and thus the heavens decided to humble him.

He couldn't prevent the Shibuya Incident from happening. Worse, he fell into the enemy's hand and got sealed, and just before he was trapped inside that accursed box, he saw you die. And even after the most excruciating 19 days of his life afterwards, he couldn't do anything about it.

Your face haunted him. The tears you shed for him still lingered at the tips of his fingertips. The blood from your mouth still soaked his vision.

"Satoru..." you croaked. You were afraid. Afraid of dying, but most of all, afraid of leaving him. You had promised him once, on the bunkbed of your dorms back in Jujutsu High, that you wouldn't leave him. Tears wouldn't stop falling from your beautiful eyes.

Satoru burned that image on his mind. He wanted to hate himself with every fiber of his being, but then you said the most damnable thing possible.

"Thank you... for everything..."

And you had a smile on your face. In your last moments, you decided to convey how much he meant to you in this life. How much you cherished him. You prayed with all your heart that it would reach him.

And once again, just like the first day he saw you at the training grounds of Jujutsu High, Satoru found you to be really breathtaking. You were beautiful even as you laid dying. Even as his visions were obscured as he fell into the darkness.

Inside the prison realm where time passed long and uncertain, he made himself numb once again.

You were his most cherished figment of the most precious memory held in his heart―the three years of his youth. He wouldn't have changed anything about it. He was devastated, severely so, but so did the sweetness aftertaste he felt.

Your feelings reached him, and because of that, even if the road ahead was long and hard and painful, he would stay on that road.

If it meant he could meet you again on the other side of this dream... he'd stay and move towards tomorrow, no matter how bleak it was.

When his comrades freed him from the prison realm, he gained knowledge that most people he knew were also dead during his absence. Nanami. Yaga. The students.

Perhaps it was his curse. To be blessed with everything, but not being able to do anything about it.

He had nothing more to lose when he fought against Sukuna. He gave it his all. Everything his life had led him to―he put it all on the line.

And suddenly―suddenly, he was back to the happiest chapter of his youth. Everyone was there. Suguru was there. Nanami, Haibara, even Riko.

And you.

On the other side of that dream, you were once again standing before him, in your old uniform, just like when you’d get ready for a class so many years ago, and with the smile he fell in love with. The smile he would gladly fight the world for.

"Satoru," you called, breathless, but just like before you left him the first time, you frowned and your eyes suddenly glistened with tears. "Why... are you here? How did you―"

But you choked back your tears when he ran to you and pulled you into his arms so tightly. You heard him grunt, and then to your surprise, slightly sob.

Now he is no longer Gojo Satoru, the strongest. He is back to a young sorcerer wanting so badly to live his youth to the fullest, happiest.

"You lied to me," he reprimanded you amidst his weeping. "You left. You freaking left―"

Your vision blurred. "I'm sorry..."

Satoru let you go to have a good look at you. You were no longer bleeding. Your insides were intact. Just a little crying because you couldn't help it.

"I love you, you know that right?" he blurted with the most sullen expression he could muster. He turned back into the child-boy you somehow fell in love with.

"Satoru," you breathed out, anxious. "You shouldn't be here―"

"I should," he cut you with a firm tone. "I have no regrets. I have done what I can, and now―"

"But the others―they need you! They need you, Satoru."

He drooped his head. He had thought it over too, but he had come to a final conclusion. "No. They don't."

Maybe it was finally the time to let go of it. It was time to just... pass it over. No more interventions. No more tipping the balance of the world itself.

Immediately, you understand what he means. Gojo Satoru has served his purpose. There was nothing left that he must and could do.

"You waited long, huh?" you whispered with tears, yet a smile bloomed on your face.

"I did."

"Then... now that you're here," you offered your hand towards him, and then looked at the faces of your friends. They were all beaming at you and him, waiting for this exact moment.

You stared at him fondly, lovingly.

"Would you... walk this road with me once again?"

Satoru snapped his head. He nodded at you with pure certainty, zero hesitation. "Yes."

He took your hand, grasping it tightly in his.

"Even when there's a possibility that you have to walk to the other side of a nightmare again?”

"I would," Satoru resolutely replied.

Because it's you, he would. He'd willingly and gladly cross the throes of hell and set out on this lonely yet hopeful journey, just to meet you.

You chuckled at him heartily, and Satoru felt the immense love he held for you as the two of you walked towards tomorrow, without regrets.

It may be his curse, to have everything yet nothing at the same time. But each time he would be faced with this decision, he'd remember that feeling and let go of everything just for this very chance to live a life with you again.

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iceunhie · 3 months

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indirect kiss moments !

summary: you drink from their cup on accident = the realization that you may or may not have shared an indirect kiss. how do they feel about that? too flustered beyond belief, it seems....

featuring: part one (here) - kazuha, wanderer | part two - albedo, neuvillette, alhaitham

notes: not exactly established relationship, crush crush hehe, fluffy, my two anemo faves in one post.... loud gasp effect in the background (pls don't perceive this as my betrayal to the other anemos they'll have their turn soon i promise 🫡)

WANDERER — (in/ex)ternally flustered as fuck + has stopped working

wanderer doesn't think he has a heart, but the way the void in his chest thumps for but a flicker of a moment proves him quite wrong.

why, you ask? it's all because of you.

he resists the urge to snap, terribly so, but out of being flustered more than anything, not irritation. because there is absolutely no way for him to properly process these turn of events with even a hint of rationality. you seem to be promptly ignorant of the whirring of thoughts in his mechanical head. ignorant of his rather foolish situation of going irrational and borderline idiotic.

all because of a damn indirect kiss.

his eyes lift from where he's burning holes onto the cup you're holding—his cup, he corrects, and lingers embarrassingly long (too long) on your lips. he tries not to fight the way heat creeps up his skin, synthetic yet all too real (perhaps like his own, untouched feelings); he thinks he might be red in the face. horribly red, thinking that oh no, he’s faced with the egregious notion that he may be too (very) obvious with how his reaction to your simple action betrays his secret fondness for your existence. most troubling.

it's fine, he tries to rationalize, he's got to relax. it was but a sip of tea. tea he so carefully procured and offered with much reluctance that was more feigned than anything else. tea he only drank because he heard in passing about your preference for it, very, very sweet tea he wouldn't normally drink, he notes with faint distaste—the things he lets you get away with—

….and then you lick your lips to savor the taste.

if the traveler hadn't showed him a taste of an almost death, then he thinks this might just be how he falls.

[ spoiler alert: he ends up hastily getting up to leave after pouring you another refill, muttering curses that would certainly alarm the average civilian. fast as light; if only to hide the utter mess that was his face. red, breathless (even though he doesn't need to breathe) and disgustingly, horribly flustered.

you’d better do your best to calm his self-imposed brooding— he isn't going to tell you anything about what exactly made him fluster this much. best of luck. ]

KAZUHA — flustered, but smiling like a lovesick fool (wants to write endless haikus about this)

kazuha is drunk, both in love and on the sake that burns his throat in a pleasant blend of sweet and strong.

it all started with your request to drink from his cup. you ordered a different drink from him while the crew of the crux were celebrating beidou’s birthday. even now, the sound of laughter and drunken slurring fills the night, a slow and, if he has to be frank, tone-deaf melody of a simple happy birthday echoing in the air. of course, being as drunk in love (beidou’s words) as he is, kazuha didn't even hesitate at all to give you a sip.

…and it just so happens that you managed to drink at the exact place he drank from earlier.

small mercies come in the form of playing off the intense blush of his face and chalking it up to the effects of the wine and sake. kazuha isn't one to be flustered easily, but he must admit this one elicited no light reaction from him, no matter how much he may downplay its impact.

perhaps it was delusional, but was there not a tradition about drinking from each other's cups like this that could symbolize marriage….?

oh dear, the alcohol was getting to him, and fast.

[ spoiler alert: the next day, when you wake up with a sore headache and an achy body and an extremely clingy kazuha, try not to be confused when he mentions something like kissing you in the haze of his sleep.

the following week will also make you subject to two things: 1) an increasingly clingy kazuha (see above), and 2) dozens upon dozens of haikus left at your home, along with silkflowers of innumerable count you’d think he'd plucked the entire lot of them. you never did know why kazuha had become even sweeter (was that even possible...?) all of a sudden. ]

[९] 2024 © iceunhie :: do not copy or use my works.

#꒰ ✉ ꒱ 𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒔 •°. *࿐#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #wanderer x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #scaramouche x reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha genshin impact #genshin impact #genshin drabbles #wanderer x you #kazuha x you #genshin impact imagines #𝑪𝑨𝑻𝑨𝑳𝑶𝑮𝑼𝑬 ★ GENSHIN . . .

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narcissistshandler · 2 months

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Isagi yoichi & dumbfication!!! I just need to turn this man in a dumb whore for dick (top!male reader)

𝗗𝗨𝗠𝗕 𝗗𝗨𝗠𝗕 𝗗𝗨𝗠𝗕

pairing. male reader x isagi yoichi

warnings. amab!reader, top!reader, bottom!isagi, anal sex, bondage, dumbfication, humiliation, crying, overstimulation, squirt, ahegao, cumming inside, a lot of 'petnames' (doll, baby, whore, slut, stupid, boytoy), (+bonus: Isagi has a small penis)

a/n. dumbfication is just 😩🤌 (and as you guys can see I'm still very creative with titles) and this is unedited

Isagi was easily the most beautiful thing in the world when beneath you, pliable under your hands, completely limp and unable to put up a fight even if he wanted. A life-size inflatable doll for you to play with.

He was usually talkative even in bed, telling you to hurry up while interrupting himself to comment on how strange it felt to be penetrated and how he could never get used to the feeling of having something inside him. All the talk, however, immediately died on his tongue when you slid in, slowly, so that he could feel every inch of you causing a burning sensation as it stretched his only briefly prepared hole.

It felt like a routine, pride making him unable to admit how much he truly loved it and then, the sensual curve of his back leaving the mattress as you reached the bottom, completely engulfed in the heat of the tight walls. The words became stutters and soon, it was as if all of Isagi's rationality had disappeared, only leaving him with erotic moans and whimpers that reminded you a lot of an animal in heat.

“Ughh- aah~” Isagi's mouth hung open, allowing the pink tongue to hang out over his bottom lip. Saliva ran down his chin and he seemed lost in his own world as his lean, flexible body was used by you. He was beautiful like that, no thought in mind other than how unbearable the pressure felt inside him, the pounding in his hole reaching so deep that you just knew he could feel you rearranging his insides.

His hands were stretched over his head, the blue rope the same shade as his teary eyes keeping them tied to the headboard. Before forgetting how to speak, he had begged you to let go and let him touch you and touch himself — 'you know I can't cum without touching my dick,' he had argued.

But now, Isagi's cock drooled against his stomach, semen from his three untouched orgasms drying there countering that.

The memory of his words amused you. “For someone who said that could only cum if he touched his own dick, you look completely ridiculous right now,” you can’t help but mock your boyfriend, reduced to a sensitive, overstimulated mess in mere minutes. “A liar, that's what you are Yoichi. A liar and a whore for dick.” You punctuated your last words with deep, sharp thrusts, delighting in the wet sound Isagi's hole made whenever your cock sank into him and how his entire body convulsed as if he'd been shocked.

Isagi's blue eyes seemed unfocused and when all that responded back to you was a strangled, stuttered, "p-pl-ea- aawn... -se," you couldn't help but laugh, feeling your cock twitch inside from Isagi at how pathetic he sounded, just to you.

“It’s okay, don’t talk, you don’t need to talk,” you said, calming his shameful attempts at forming words. Your tone, however, is sadistic and amusing, full of mockery. “You just have to stand there and let yourself be used, that's what you're good at, isn't it? To be my fuck toy, my fleshlight? And I don’t even need to touch that useless little dick of yours to make you cum, just fuck your ass, like the good slut you are.”

Your words found a target and Isagi could only nod, gratefully accepting the permission to not need to think or try to speak. He just needed to be your dumb little slut, nothing more.

Adorable, really.

Isagi was always thinking a lot during matches, his mind was always racing a mile a minute, studying the field, his opponents and forming strategies. But now he didn't need to do anything, nothing at all. Nothing was all you wanted from him, how ironic.

Isagi whimpered, sweet hole clenching around your cock and you immediately recognized the tension coursing through his firm legs and toes curling in the most erotic way in the world. Your hips reacted on their own, darting in and out of the hot, wet tightness. “Your hole is squeezing me so much, do you want to cum for me again, doll? Come on, let go. Show me how good you can be to me, coming just for a few dirty words.”

And like the ridiculous and obedient little thing he is, Isagi obeys. The orgasm comes like a wave, fast, unpredictable and crashing against him with surprising force. There is no slow build or sensations building to the breaking point. One second Isagi is drooling over himself and making shameful attempts to meet your thrusts and the next, tears are streaming down his flushed, sweaty face, a violent tremor making his whole body convulse and his little pink dick jumps, twitches and expels a stream of clear, odorless liquid that seems like it will never end.

The bed quickly becomes wet beneath him and the crying grows louder as the embarrassment seems to set in. Isagi moves from side to side, pulling on the rope that keeps his hands tied as he seems to try to escape the stimulation. It's a vain attempt, he looks so pornographic that all you can do is grab his ass, forcing him to remain lying on his side in the new position while you fuck him mercilessly, fingers grabbing the soft, pale flesh; pulling to allow you to see the little hole greedily swallowing your cock.

“That’s it, toyboy, let go,” you speak through gritted teeth, breathing quickening as you feel your own orgasm quickly approaching at the glipse of isagi’s lewd expression: blue eyes beautifully rolled back, tongue lolling out of his mouth. “Nothing wrong with making a mess like the stupid little thing you are, wetting the whole bed.”

Isagi opened and closed his mouth several times, tears and drool wetting his pretty face as he struggled to speak through the moans: “ah- I-I... c-cum...”

“What is this, baby? Do you want me to cum in you? Want me to fill your dirty hole?”

His body had already stopped obeying his will and all he could do was moan in response, trying unsuccessfully to communicate.

And what kind of boyfriend would you be if you denied him that?

You sped up, sweat prickling against your bare skin and heat seeming to eat you raw, your heavy breathing covered by the sounds Isagi made. It felt like fire licking his veins; you could feel your pulse racing in your dick, pleasure hitting you as your member pulsed and spilled deep inside Isagi.

“Agh! Ahh!” A broken scream died in Isagi's mouth as heat fill his insides. The possessive complaint made a muscle in his thigh pull, more liquid joining the mess on the bed.

You lean over him, searching for his mouth. The teeth clack together briefly before your tongues meet in a filthy, messy kiss. You swallow the saliva, salty tears and Isagi's moans, nails digging into his skinny ass as you continue to move in and out of him, riding out your orgasm and brutally fucking your cum deep into him, wanting to force him to accept every drop, wanting permanently leave the mark of your belonging on his body. You wished that afterwards, even after take a bath, Isagi could still feel the phantom sensation of your seed inside him, filling him and marking him as your dumb little whore.

How much better would it be if Isagi gave up his football career and lived just for that, to be used 24/7.

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maggstar · 4 months

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𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐃𝐢𝐞

───────────────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹────────────────────

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 18+, mni DNI!

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 365 days since the incident, in which Heeseung's life turned upside down, is today. Will he be able to save her this time?

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut, hard angst, veryyy emotional, trauma bonding/coping, cop!Hee (injured reader, guns, shooting, kidnapping, violence, death) kissing, biting, marking, handjob, oral (f. receiving) , fingering, vanilla, very intimiate and loving unprotected s3x, missionary, spooning, lotus.

!!!TW: ED, suicidal thoughts, mentioned attempts, s3lf harm (both characters)

𝐖𝐂: 21k+ (ehm..., yea)

𝐀/𝐍: Finally. It is here. this one is for ♡ anon. ily. I want to say I loved writing this whole fic even though it was emotionally difficult. I wrote about heavy topics, so please be aware before reading as this might not be everyone's cup of tea! Both characters are in pretty messed up mental states, but their love to each other is what keeps them going. I hope you guys enjoy this fic as I never put this much effort into any fic before.

Please leave any sort of feedback: reblogging and commenting is the best for me, so let me know!! ───────────────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹────────────────────

As Heeseung approached the town, he immediately recognized the steep, rocky road that led to the street of his most ominous memories. Despite the passing of a year, everything remained the same. The familiar layout felt like coming home after years of being abroad. In a way, he had been.

He found it amusing how visiting his past brought such mixed feelings. Given how messed up things were before his departure, he was afraid to face all the negative emotions. Merely thinking about the events crawled an uncanny sensation.

Yet, here he was, letting the comforting sentimentality alight on his heart and beam at the faint breeze entering through his window as he soaked up the evocative atmosphere. It had a hint of gloom as the rain amplified with his reappearance, making the ominous night colder than usual. Goosebumps took over his body, observing the surroundings while the car shifted its gear to neutral.

The park was abandoned at this time, reminiscing on the children's laughter in the evenings, playing for hours without a care. He liked to come there after work, sit for a few minutes, and listen to them. They still had the monkey bars and pirate-themed wooden ship in the middle of the playground, which he helped paint.

He examined the residences next to his old one, all appearing the same. Looking at the colorful houses with picturesque gardens pierced an arduous nostalgia. A few had undergone reconstructions as the previous owners seemed to have parted.

Some even had new furniture or repainting, their garages containing bigger and more luxurious vehicles. New additions like swings or slides for children were also notable. A small number of areas were also seemingly building new homes for the future, expanding the population in the tainted town.

With a glance beside, he examined the house he spent his student years in.

"Would you look at that," he scoffed, studying the untouched exterior, still covered in that sensational buttermilk paint.

Even the pecan concrete tiles on the roof were there, with additional solar panels. The current owners also installed a masonry chimney to the side - something he had always wished for but couldn't afford.

They were definitely more knowledgeable in Botanics than he was. The garden looked completely different. The condition Heeseung left it in was atrocious, with dead flowers and dried weeds scattering the place. Zora Neale Hurston once quoted: "Trees and plants always look like the people they live with." He didn't know if this disclosure was comical or tragic, heavily soughing instead.

Currently, the place had more of a Japanese style: a little lake in the middle underneath beautiful white lotuses. Oak and cherry trees surrounded the layout, whereas perfectly cut bonsai trees greeted passers-by in the front. The family likely had their roots there because it was uncommon to opt for this type in this area. Yet again, he was inexperienced in this topic, so who was he to say anything?

He sighed, lowering his head to take a deep breath to process all the garnering memories reaching the surface from the seabed. It was bound to happen, and he still didn't manage to prepare for it.

Back then, there was too much weight on his shoulders. From college to his family, there was only so much a teenager could handle. 90% of his memories were the ones he sincerely wished to omit evermore. He didn't want to rub salt into his wounds by reliving them, aiming to concentrate on the better side.

After all, it was this place he achieved and lost everything at once. The city that welcomed the lost pup with open arms after the death of his parents, soothing with empty promises and fraudulent head pats.

Back then, he was too naive to differentiate malicious intentions, foolishly jumping onto every proposition. He thought people wanted to help and not take advantage of his incapacity, that they would aid the broken one with the loving words he needed.

Fundamentally, he was an emotional wreck, emptiness and numbness following him all day.

There wasn't anyone left in his life, just miscellaneous pictures gathered in a photo album and recollections of happy moments in carton boxes. Going through their belongings hurt more than anything, smudging their smiles with tears and repeated callouts to which no one could respond anymore.

In other words, it was the worst period of his life.

His nights were established on puffy eyes, a terrible headache, and a stuffy nose, suffering in silence for months. The money he was supposed to spend on food went to tissues, trashing the whole place. Getting up in the mornings was incredibly demanding, failing often at convincing himself. Staying in and laying in his PJs permanently tolled more promising.

No one seemed to care about his late arrival to classes anyway. The teachers were the exclusive individuals, questioning his defect of attendance and interest. They often came to various false conclusions. They didn't consider asking for the real reason behind his struggles at handing in assignments and essays on time without lying to dodge admonitions.

In the same way, no one doubted the sunglasses he wore every day. They assumed it was part of a fashion trend when, in reality, it was an excuse to hide the redness and semicircle exhaustion.

The clothes that fit him weeks ago began loosening, appearing enormous on his underweight body. When his friends pointed out his lack of appetite during lunch, he put it behind him and led the conversation in another direction. That way, he felt he had control over reality.

In reality, he knew it was avoidance. He wasn't ready to concede he was struggling. Something wasn't alright, and he deteriorated with each passing day.

Reminiscing on the past, optimistic Heeseung wearing a warming smile mirrored the numb motionlessness, not containing enough confidence to face the drastic and tragic change.

The only courageous people were the Choi family.

He turned his head to the left, catching a glimpse of the elderly couple sitting at the table inside their closed terrace. They were laughing and enjoying dinner, accompanied by two other people, handing out the freshly grilled food on their plates. A little boy was attending the meal as well, gesturing widely. He leaned forward to examine the guests, scanning their faces. For some reason, they were so familiar...

"No way," a gasp forsake, realizing that turn of events.

The handsome, tall young man with an athletic build was no other than Choi Hyun-woo, the son of the married pair. Heeseung facepalmed himself for taking so long to figure out his identity, doubting his dexterities.

His parents had introduced the two after a few weeks of Heeseung visiting. Around that time, he was in a custody battle with his dangerous wife. That adjective was an understatement when considering her malicious threats. They were predominantly about hurting their son if he didn't leave her alone or running away with him.

That wasn't the only crazy part. The more unsettling information he learned, the more he feared for the safety of the small boy. Besides being mentally unstable, she also struggled with psychosis. The doctors warned her countless times, but she didn't reflect on any of their words when entering a new relationship. If anyone was the victim in this situation, it was Hyun-woo.

Seeing them reunited was all he could have ever wished for them, smiling at the cheerful sight.

"Thank you for being here for us, Heeseung. We just want you to know we're also here for you," he could hear the oldster sighing while patting his back, sensing the weariness from the mere flicker.

"We're all humans in the end. Even the strongest ones cannot lift the weight the world pushes on us." The stogie burned further whenever he would take a whiff, passing it on for a moment of peace.

"Life hasn't been easy on you, has it?" the bearded man turned to face the youngster, quietly sitting and observing the night sky.

"No, sir, it hasn't," he took the long roll of tobacco to try it out, analyzing its shape and thickness.

"Pretending to be happy when you're in pain is an example of how strong you are as a person, Lee."

"Never doubt your strength, you hear me?" he repeatedly swung his index finger to reprimand him.

"Yessir," Heeseung nodded before inhaling the cigar, not foreseeing its power. On the other hand, the veteran couldn't help but enjoy the outcome, laughing as he expectorated.

"How can you smoke this?" he punched his chest numerous times to get the bubble of smoke out of his system.

"Times were different back in my days. We had nothing else."

"Still..."

"Do one thing for me," the senior flipped the page, taking another load and slowly exhaling a white cloud into the cold fall night. Heeseung faced him after successfully getting rid of the awful irritation in his throat. He sat there, waiting for another round of sagacious words from the wise man.

"Don't give up. Whatever it takes, don't give up, son. Even when you feel like there's no purpose, don't because nothing lasts forever. It will get better."

It was those words that made Heeseung push through the days. It was almost unbelievable how much of an impact it had on him. Never in a million years would he have thought a motivational speech could get him back on his feet. Then again, he never gave anyone a chance to see behind his facade.

Although they were the ones who required assistance, Heeseung ended up receiving all of the help.

"Have you eaten? No? That's unacceptable! Come over as soon as you're done with school!"

Mrs. Choi's disappointment still rang through his ears, envisioning her in her French kitchen with a spatula in her hand. It was a vista he missed, alongside the delectable smell of her exceptional cooking.

She constantly checked on him, calling once his school was over and asking if he needed anything. Cooking him meals became a habit whenever he stopped by to help in the garden, practically shoving packets of food into his chest. She knew it wasn't much, but for Heeseung, it meant the world. Knowing that someone actually appreciated his company and cared about his well-being without solely thinking about theirs was unknown.

So unknown that in the beginning, he assumed the lunch boxes in his backpack ended up by accident and that Mrs. Choi had mixed it up.

That's how messed up people have been to him that his mind found it unbelievable. Every bit of aid had to have a twisted meaning behind it because why would anyone care about him? No one was there when he was bereaved. No one came to say their condolences or ask if he was alright. It was just him in the columbarium as he placed the ceramic pot with the last remains of his loved ones into the repository. The sole visitor on his free days, leaving the deceased ones' favorite snacks underneath their memorial. He was the boy the guard always had to wake up and send home.

"It's just thee, thy, and thou, huh?"

"Yes, Mr. Choi."

It is how he achieved his dream and became a successful officer and the person he is now.

All the hardships and woes he underwent in his early adulthood built up the future he worked for without resting. The mornings and nights would meld into one, struggling to distinguish AM from PM. Around that time, his coffee intake started slipping out, and he tried out every possibility to stay awake and finish everything.

So much he had to do in such little time. Heeseung didn't understand how he finished it, but his body did. It was giving up, slowly but gradually, because he wouldn't stop pushing the limits. He thought he could do more each time, twisting the meaning of "just a bit more."

One day, the strings finally tore off, and his body had enough.

Without looking back, it gave in. It handed in the shattered pieces of his soul to the unknown, streaming down like a feather. Nothing had left within, no recollections to reflect on his actions. All his hopes had dashed, molding his fears into a vase of entrapment. The more he tried to climb out of the well, the deeper he fell back, the walls elevating. He screamed into the darkness, the exclamations reflecting due to the scarcity of allowance.

The next thing you know, he woke up in an unfamiliar and cold environment, with doctors coming in and out. They kept asking various questions and filling out some forms before leaving. The

He expected the nurses checking up on him now and then to answer the question marks in his head, watching them flush the tube in his nostrils.

It was when he opened his mouth to ask about it that one of the nurses responded, explaining its essential purpose.

She called it "Nasogastric tube feeding". A line delivering nutrients directly into his stomach through his nose. Heeseung kept listening while the woman cleaned the skin around his nose with a warm washcloth, describing his situation.

Apparently, he had been in the ICU for a few days, and the doctors ran various tests to unravel his deficiencies. The stats showed the deceleration of cardiac activity, leading to low heart rate and blood pressure. They also mentioned low body temperature, which Heeseung had been battling for centuries. It exemplified why he felt faint and weak all the time. Maybe it even answered his apathy toward life.

The results of his BMI indicated severe underweight, whereas the blood test showcased micronutrient imbalances. Heeseung couldn't fathom all of the details his doctor kept streaming, closing his eyes in a vain attempt to ignore the consequences of his stubbornness and lack of eating.

Not only did he have to wear a plastic tube, but he also had to talk with dietologists and healthcare professionals to make changes in his life.

Heeseung loathed it and didn't listen to anything they had to offer because, in his mind, he had already decided what was best for him. Suggestions like attending occupational therapy gave him a laugh, not comprehending the reason for such an absurd and useless alternative. There was still a belief that everything was alright, and the situation was being blown out of proportion.

Even after all that information, he refused to accept reality. If he did, he would have to reconcile with his aggravating condition and shape. He would have to acknowledge how bad the situation was. That if he didn't take action now, it could end terribly.

And Heeseung wasn't prepared to admit it aloud. Admit he had been suffering for so long that he lost track of days because they began blending into one endless loop where he couldn't live in peace. Confess the terrible feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, and emptiness. The feeling that he woke up to bypass that motivating bright sun hiding behind those dark, self-destructive clouds. The ones which slowly perished his soul.

Disclose the deep yearning for love, tenderness, and affection lingering in his sore throat. Reveal the hope to knit his tattered heart, wrapping around his neck so delicately that he didn't want it to stop. Divulge the need to end everything trussing in the back of his head, increasing whenever an obstacle occurred, doubting everything about himself. Concede the crossing between life and death, questioning the meaning of existence.

Relent that the word suicide kept repeating in his mind like an old cassette player, seeing the curse inscribed over everything. Allow the guilt to take over and condemn him for leaning towards the balcony whenever it whispered the word "jump". It conveyed it so alluringly that it made him go crazy, holding onto the railings in pure despair.

Describe how sharp blades appeared veracious. Explain why he deleted the Google search history to hide the questions on overdoes.

He wasn't ready, but he had to be. Otherwise, he would ultimately lose himself in the hollowness and disperse forever.

So, he decided to bite the bullet and push through by turning the page.

Thanks to his determination, he could now sit in a police car and help those in need. Do a job where he could be the person he needed others to be at his lowest.

There had been one. However, Heeseung was forbidden from ever thinking about that person.

Why? Because he made the biggest mistake of his life, which he atoned for till today.

A beautiful mistake that he deeply missed every hour, every minute, every second.

"Dispatch to Patrol One," the sudden statistic transmitted through the two-way radio, pulling back the officer from daydreaming.

"10-04," he quickly responded, grabbing the transmitter and acknowledging the callsign.

"Are you alright, sir?" the worry conveyed, belonging to none other than Seo-Jun.

"Yes," He sighed, resting his head on the steering wheel.

"Sir, pardon me, but you don't sound like it," the young officer evoked, tentative about probing her senior.

She could hear him repeat the proverb: "Curiosity killed the cat." It wasn't her best trait, and she knew it. It was always these times she couldn't help but push it forward and let concern get the better of her.

After all, it was Lee Heeseung, the guy who managed to turn her life over.

If he hadn't helped her escape from her toxic ex-boyfriend last summer, she wouldn't be sitting in the obsolete office now. She was lucky to dial 112 in time and come out alive. If he had been a few minutes late, she could have suffered to death from the undying abuse. The memory was deeply engraved in the depth of her heart, recalling him standing by her side during the hospital procedures. He never wanted to admit it, but he was the town's hero for saving the mayor's daughter.

Therefore, her gratitude towards him was prodigious. And for the same reason, she wanted to be there for him during tough times. No matter how hard she tried, her approach would emerge unsuited and unfit each time. People told her to get ahold of her steps countless times, and she still made the same slips every time. Nevertheless, she didn't give up and reached out to dial the official.

"Seo-Jun, I-"

"My apologies, sir. I've crossed my line," she hastily tried to cover up her actions, slapping her forehead for being nosy and pushy.

"I'm not okay," the voice on the other side emitted into the discomfiting silence, a heavy sigh following the statement. Seo-Jun opened her eyes to perceive the sentence, staring at the floor beneath her as the declaration reiterated in her brain. She widened her pupils when she finally realized what he had uttered, almost falling off her chair after swiftly turning and grabbing back the radio.

"Sir, is this about the note you've received?"

"What note?" he frowned, backing up.

"Well, you've got a message on your account, and you know it goes through me first, so I might have accidentally read what was on it-"

"What note are you talking about?" The stern change in speech startled her, contemplating if it was due to her admitting her horrible demeanor or the want of information.

"The one that states: Broadway 123, 11:30 PM," she reread the email, stuffing her mouth with another strawberry-flavored lollipop. At this point, it was a miracle her teeth hadn't fallen out yet.

"Any signatures?"

"Just two initials: K.J."

Heeseung's stomach dropped at the revelation, which only confirmed his prior thoughts. It was the 13th of March, after all. What was he thinking?

He looked at the time on the display, typing in the coordinates to the navigation. It showed an estimated arrival in 15 minutes. His jaw clenched, attempting to pulverize the inexhaustible alarm ringing in his skull.

"Fuck, why didn't you tell me earlier?" his panic disseminated into anger, hastily starting up the car. He grabbed the gearstick, his leg pressing the accelerator.

"I'm sorry, sir. I thought you knew about it."

"You know goddamn well I never check my email," he shifted to 3rd gear already, turning on the emergency lights on the car. They switched from one color to the other, the sound of sirens following right after every blick.

"I'm really sorry, sir, but what does it even tell? It sounds dangerous."

"Cause it is," Heeseung cut her off, "and that's why you should have told me earlier."

Seo-jun's voice went quiet, the time on the call prolonging without either side speaking.

She had nothing to say, as she realized the severity of her actions.

Frankly, she had difficulty understanding the whole situation and why it aggravated Heeseung this much. She stared at the email, trying to find a hidden clue or something that would cure her curiosity.

Despite her attempts, she ended with disappointment, leaning back on the chair with a loud sigh.

She turned her head to the side while Heeseung turned his back on the road, which was moderately clean, with no traffic jams preventing him from reaching his destination. Most cars quickly reacted to the situation and pulled to the side of the road.

He looked in the rear mirror, seeing a silhouette sitting in the backseat with blood all over her face, a faded smile visible.

"Help her, I beg you," The voice echoed in his ears as he made a left, entering the mentioned street.

He fought the unwanted shakiness in his body, the sentence replaying like a broken cassette, causing him to break down the walls he had built in the past months.

He had to be more collected. His duty was to stay calm under pressure and not to invoke panic, but here he was, gripping the wheel too much. His nails began to hurt from the prolonged force, eyes ungluing from the road for a split second. He looked at his image in the mirror, sensing a faint taste of blood. There, he could see the deep cut on his lip, his teeth responsible for choosing the wrong coping mechanism.

He could also see the same hopeless look as the one on that day, anger building up from within to curse him for being a wreck in such a crucial situation again. The consequences of it taunted him, internally punching him for his incompetence. An officer who couldn't control his emotions was the same one trying to rescue someone. He couldn't even stop himself from deteriorating, and here he was, seeking to thwart others.

It was all foolish, just like he was at this moment.

What a fool he was for wanting a chance to right the wrongs.

Without a second thought, Heeseung immediately parked near the reported location, practically jumping out of the car. He checked if his gun was locked and loaded again before heading out.

He looked around, eyes looking for potential gang associates in the surroundings. He expected at least some bodyguards or watchdogs near the building, but no one was around. Grabbing his flashlight, he took an overhand grip, shortening the distance to the building with each cautious but fast step.

The residence was outdated, definitely abandoned by the looks of its upkeep. What seemed like a factory was now an empty, deserted residence. No one had visited this place for a long time.

He approached the door, reaching the porch to see if anything was happening inside.

The front door was locked from the other side, the darkness concealing the image inside. Heeseung had to go through the back to enter, listening for any noise on his way. It was too quiet for his liking, not a single peep emanating from the residence. He climbed over the wire fence, sucking up the pain the metal left after puncturing his skin.

Nothing was more important than reaching inside.

He did suspect the message, wondering if it was another prank pulled by the bored teenagers. Sadly, it happened quite too often, with them lining up the emergency number and creating false stories to bring out the hirelings for their entertainment.

Still, none of them knew about his past, so the chances were nearly impossible. Not even his colleagues knew why he decided to take a day off today. They had zero keen on why this day was so important for him. They had no idea it was this day that turned his life around.

He took a position behind the wall as he glanced for the back door, peeking out carefully. To his surprise, it was wide open, bestowing him an entrance.

He approached it slowly, looking out for a possible intruder since the unusual stillness wasn't preventing the tension in his muscles from stiffening. When he met no obstacles, he determined it was clear to proceed, stepping inside.

The uneven concrete underneath welcomed him back, permitting a path towards the middle. Just like last time, he thought to himself, before approaching the cursed center.

Here.

It all happened here.

It was where he found Seo-Jun. Right here.

He could see the silhouette in the wooden chair, bound by duct tape. He could still feel the hopelessness and helplessness.

A supposed rescue mission turned into a shootout, in which he had zero back-ups to overcome the opponents. 6v1, and Heeseung barely came out alive, with one bullet shot in his right arm. The female he was supposed to save bled out on the spot because of fatal injuries, and there was nothing he could do to help her. He tried so hard to stop the bleeding and apply as much pressure as he could in his injured condition. All just to witness her slowly part away in his arms with a painful "thank you".

Heeseung blamed himself for her death till today. After all, he was the one to blame for it. That's what her parents kept repeating.

"Murderer! It was your job to protect her!"

"She's dead because of you!"

"It should have been you who died, not her!"

They were right.

He agreed with everything they said. It was the truth. He had failed, and there was nothing he could do to bring her back.

Nightmares of the terror night practically became the fairytale of his sleep. He would wake up drenched in sweat, pushing himself to successfully save her in his dreams. He was so close but so far away at the same time.

It was all humorous. How returning to this unfortunate place stirred the wrong memories. How it managed to discern the familiar gut-wrenching feeling in his system. The one he had to take medication for every day to keep his head clear. To stop seeing the silhouettes of her everywhere.

"Seo-Jun, don't do this to me," his head dropped to his feet, refusing to reexperience his trauma.

"You're not here anymore," he bit down on his lip, gulping down the ascending guilt.

"But it's not me, Heeseung."

His eyes rose, staring at the silhouette. They struggled to decipher the person in front of them, barely having the energy to stay open.

He stepped closer, his heavy steps echoing through the enormous vacant room. He was expecting it to disappear as it was a part of his imagination. However, it stayed there, clear as a day.

It was her.

Not her her, but her.

The voice that haunted him every night in his nightmares. The one that begged him to save her sister from those psychopaths, putting the last bits of hope into him. The screams replayed in his nightmares when he had come out with her sister in his arms, barely holding the victim as he was close to passing out himself. They soon turned into weeps, coughing up the pain in her system, unable to stop her body from shaking at the sight of her sibling in agonizing pain.

He remembered the way she looked up at him while the paramedics carried her inside the ambulance, face covered in shock and desperation.

It was as if both knew the outcome awaiting them in the hospital, not prepared to admit the painful reality. They wanted to pretend like they didn't know, even if it was only for a minute.

He recalled her running after the car, legs giving out in the middle, getting up over and over again without thinking twice about the damage on her knees.

The same pain he felt back then kicked in right now, pounding into his stomach because despite disappointing her, she was the one who checked up on him in the ER. She was the only person who turned up. The only one worried about his condition, holding in the tears.

"I know my sister was glad someone tried. That someone cared and wanted to save her."

"I'm happy to know that the last face she saw was yours and not those bastards'."

"Mr. Lee, thank you. Thank you for everything."

Despite everything, she said those words to him, managing to smile at him before leaving. He felt her release the painful ache through the door, mourning for the lost one as the hospital tiles created a path stained with sorrow.

"It's your chance, Heeseung."

"To do what you couldn't with me."

He looked around to glimpse a ghost of Seo-Jun, to believe it was all real and not a part of his disturbed imagination.

But she was nowhere to be found.

It was Y/N instead, encircled by the cause of her sister's death.

The same person he stopped visiting every day after the incident, too thoughtless to leave her all alone in that big city while the perpetrators roamed around freely.

He thought it would have been for the better to give her space to grieve properly, without him appearing at the door to remind her of the incident.

She never complained, though, but rather showed her gratitude for the concern, not managing to function alone with her parents passing on their sadness to her.

It was a difficult time for her to be in, especially alone. That's why Heeseung's presence brought her the peace and comfort she needed. He helped her move out her sister's furniture, going as far as to seclude a deal to sell the apartment so the family could have a proper funeral, which he ended up attending himself.

Her parents weren't exactly hiding their anger at his presence at such a personal event, holding him accountable for the happening of the ceremony.

However, she was the one who had invited him. She chewed their disapproval and asked him to stay beside her. She needed someone to hold on during the event, both mentally and physically, thankful for his hand lingering on hers as she watched her other half disappear into the ground.

He stayed with her for a long time after that, coming every morning to help her get out of bed and get ready for the day, becoming her caregiver for the following weeks.

She was suffering inside, and he could tell by her blankly staring into the walls, movements so slow it looked like it hurt. It was difficult to convince her to eat, noticing the loss in appetite she kept ignoring, blaming it on her stomach troubles.

Nonetheless, she never protested when he wanted to feed her, always cooking or ordering something from outside. She felt like a baby in those moments, with him practically begging her to open her mouth, putting a smile on her face instead.

They talked a lot over those weeks, with Heeseung opening up about his past and traumatic childhood, sharing the fragments of his parent's death and how it has affected him. He talked about the car accident, the one he was also in. He was the sole survivor, the sole person to exit the hospital and not be transferred into the morgue.

He had never told anyone before, and conveying the lingering heartache was such a relief that he couldn't stop talking, gathering up every detail he had in his memories.

In a way, it connected the two more, having gone through the tragedy of losing a loved one. Y/N couldn't help but notice the feeling of safety in his company. The more he transmitted, the closer she felt, like she could trust him with her whole life.

While she was fully aware of the effects he was having on her, Heeseung was too busy focusing on her condition to catch the sparkles of joy.

Whenever she opened the door to him, he couldn't help but beam. His heart would fill up with contentment, dopamine levels increasing at the brief touches they shared, hiding the butterflies amassing inside. It was wrong for him to catch feelings after everything he caused her, and the guilt expanded in his chest at the realization.

Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one who had caught up on the situation. Soon enough, her parents personally contacted him and asked to meet without their daughter's knowledge. They were the real reason for his departure, the why for abandoning her when she needed him the most.

He never had the opportunity to tell her the truth, to tell her he didn't go on his will but was forced into that decision. He wished he could have told her he was threatened with being sued and losing his career forever due to their belief about his negligence on the mission. Either that or he had to leave her alone and go as far away as possible if he didn't want his life to be over.

That is what he meant when he said he was a coward: a coward who couldn't even tell the truth. It followed him wherever he went, the mere image of her constantly transmitting in his thoughts.

And now, the image was trapped in another nightmare with little time, falling into his hands yet again.

This wasn't how he wanted to meet up, but fate had its way of managing things. The only thing Heeseung knew was that he couldn't let her down again.

She had to come out of here alive.

No matter what it would take.

"You came," a raspy voice loomed from the darkness, causing Heeseung to hastily stand up and point his gun at its origin.

His stomach dropped when he locked gazes with the criminal.

"Kang Joon-Woo."

"It is I indeed," he fixed his tie covered in a fleur de lis pattern, showing off his wealth in the black tuxedo. His auburn slick hair drew attention to his green eyes, which turned stone cold once his gaze landed on the officer in front. They were empty, vacant, without any emotion. It was like staring into a deep well at night, manifesting fright and unpleasantness.

"It's a pleasure to meet you again, Mr. Lee." his silver crown shone as the moonlight sheathed his face, lowering his head before looking back at him again. He exuded the same stare that day, slicing through deeply and threatening with its lethal power.

Kang Joon-Woo, one of the lead rings of the cooperation of Kang Holding, was the chairman and the mastermind of the whole operation a year ago. Kang Jun-Seo was his right hand, more like a lap dog.

They were both known criminals in the district he used to work in, successful businessmen who led one of the most influential companies in the city. They ran many hotels scattered over the country, using them as a front to conceal their actual intents by managing and commencing new deals.

Beneath the surface, they hid several classified secrets, ordering various exchanges between dangerous parties. Some reports revealed drug usage and distribution, contacts with the black market, and even active participation on the deep web.

However, their main focus was on sex trafficking, exploiting young women for their income. It has been going on for many years, with the two predators selling out females to different countries, motivated by the big numbers on the cheque. They were both aware of how these girls would end up, forced to become objects for whoever had bought them. That was the twisted part in itself. The fact that the two went off to doing this.

He found out himself when he got ordered to take over one of these cases since the department had a lead and had a high chance of uncovering the trafficker's location, hopeful about the retrieval. So was Heeseung, especially after the Chief of Police had picked him out personally for the case along with two other ambitious corporals as the sergeant was sick that week, unable to operate. It was his biggest chance to prove himself and stand out amongst his coworkers.

"Months of searching, and now I have you both at my feet," the snarky laugh punctured through.

"What have you done to her?" Heeseung looked back at Y/N from the corner of his eye, unable to bypass her drugged state. He knew he had to act before it was too late, struggling to piece a plan together at the revelation.

"I just gave her some candy. You know the ones that bring you to another dimension?" he pulled out a pack of Arrirangs from his pockets, finding the whole situation hilarious. It was uproarious to watch the terror in Heeseung's eyes, darting from the girl back to him.

"You fucker," Heeseung quickly hovered over her, checking her pulse and breathing.

"Calm down," he scoffed in amusement, taking a whiff of the toxic elements his body lacked. "I need her to be alive as well."

"What do you want?"

"Come on, Heeseung. You're smart enough to know," a sigh parted in the heavy ambiance, playing with the cigar between his fingers.

"You know goddamn well someone has to pay for the losses you caused on that day."

"Leave her out of it. She has done nothing."

"Who called you on us?"

"She did the right thing. They just chose the wrong officer."

"Fucking pathetic indeed. You couldn't even save her in the end, could you?" the man burst into laughter, brushing back his hair. He was loving every second of this.

"Since you failed to save her. Now, we need someone to replace her place."

"Jun-Seo was thinking about this beauty right here, but I told him it was too dangerous. Didn't I, brother?"

Heeseung froze at the callout, feeling the mentioned one's presence behind him. He also felt the weapon pointed at his head, threatening to be blasted at a slight movement. Every possible curse flashed in his mind, all pointing towards him.

He was screwed.

"Drop it," the baritone ordered.

Before he could even look at the famous criminal, the man punched him in his back, amplifying his directive. Heeseung had no other option but to comply, slowly placing his gun on the floor. The guy immediately kicked away the weapon, far away from their reach. He stood there with his hands aloft, looking back at the man ahead.

"And what did I also say?" his tongue clicked, putting on a pair of black leather gloves.

"To have her, we must get rid of the cop."

"That's right." He snickered, approaching the injured girl.

"Poor girl, she has no idea what's happening," his fingers wrapped around her neck, snickering at the beauty. He turned her face to the side, his filthy eyes scanning her features.

"Don't touch her!" Heeseung shouted, attempting to step closer.

"You better calm down."

"Or do you want my brother to pull the trigger already?" her hair twirled around his finger, "I want her to see it first." He quickly pulled onto it, causing her head to fall with the snatch.

"No, she has nothing to do with this. I killed your men, not her. Let her go, now!"

"I'm afraid I cannot do that, Heeseung. My client wants a replacement for his previous loss."

"And we decided to give him the other sister," the twin snickered, licking his lips.

"You're fucking sick." Heeseung looked at the man above Y/N, passing on a distrustful smile.

"I think we have waited far too long for this one," The snarky laugh punctured through, running his hands on her exposed thighs.

"I said don't fucking touch her!"

The delinquent just laughed and took a knife, putting it under her neck. He played with her hair, leaning closer to her ear, whispering something, and smirking right after. Whatever it was, Heeseung was sure it was appalling and lewd.

"So," the edge of the weapon traveled down her T-shirt, "I'm going to have my fun." He sneered as its sharpness cut the clothing in two, exposing her body to the filthy losers.

"And you're going to watch."

"You fucking piece of shit!" he jumped the guy, not thinking twice about it. They both rolled down the floor, one trying to keep the weapon, whereas the other risked to grab it.

"I'll kill you. Right here, right now," Heeseung hissed, head-bumping him as soon as he had the opportunity.

"You fucker," Joon-woo immediately covered his nose, staining his hand with his very own blood. He was sure it was broken, but it wasn't enough to stop him from returning the favor.

Heeseung looked back at the other brother, who attempted to shoot the man in black, raising his arm to carry out the movement.

However, Heeseung was quicker, avoiding the fatal hit by rolling over in time. He still had Joon-woo on his back, getting on his hands to perform a leg sweep. With that, he fell on his back, pushing all the air out of his lungs with a curse.

"You are dead meat, Mr. Lee," the man coughed out, barely having the energy to properly look him in the eye.

Heeseung knew he was minutes away from another blast from Jun-Seo's gun. Without wasting time, he quickly stood up and ran into the other perpetrator with full force. He successfully knocked both of them over, the firearm vanishing in the far distance. The stunt in the movement allowed him to yank and throw the firearm into the far distance.

"Get him!" the other twin ordered, quickly taking out his Glock 19 to point it at Heeseung. Jun-Seo got on his feet again, shooting a death glare. Despite not having anything to defend himself with, he relied on his strength, rushing to him. His arm extended toward Heeseung's direction, and a sudden hand appeared in front of his face.

"I should have killed both of you when I had the chance," Heeseung panted, evading each punch like a pro. It was too easy to fight with such an incompetent loser like him, managing to switch positions in the meantime.

"We should have gotten rid of you two sooner," Joon-woo yelled, shooting into the brawl. He only didn't predict Heeseung doing the unthinkable by pushing the brother in front of him. The bullet entered the wrong body, disappearing in Jun-Seo's chest with a loud gasp.

"No!" The shooter yelled at the turn of events, watching his twin fall to the ground right next to his feet. He panted in pain and brought his hands to the wound his sibling unintentionally caused, his eyelids losing their tension as his pupils dilated.

"You piece of shit!" The scourge unleashed from between his lips, a pair of heartless eyes darting back. He looked back to see the cop with his gun right back where it belonged, pointed at him, the main suspect.

"You did all of this just for this stupid bitch!" He raised his arm, turning in the direction of the abducted innocence.

"Step away from her," Heeseung yelled, blood rushing through his veins.

It was a relief to have taken down one of the obstacles in his way without getting his hands dirty. Nevertheless, there was still the main problem standing in front of him, aiming to assassinate his victim.

He knew the sicko could pull off a dangerous stunt since his actions were unpredictable, scanning the expressions on his face. He was expecting furrowed brows, hands clenched into fists, or a death glare at least.

All he got was a loud sigh, followed by a prolongated laughter. The kind of laughter you would hear The Joker do in a quarrel with Batman whenever the two would argue. It was almost as if he was amused or pleased with the outcome, even though his brother was lying inches away in a puddle of blood, practically minutes away from dying.

"You really are a jokester, Mr. Lee," he lowered his gun, ignoring the confusion on the cop's face.

He just passed on a stare and a scowl, fidgeting with the weapon in his hand like it was a toy with no bullets in it. His behavior was so bizarre that Heeseung couldn't help but stare at him in confusion.

The thing was, the stare he carried didn't belong to someone who had just given up. It wasn't of someone who just surrendered and accepted his fucked-up fate.

It was the complete opposite of what it was supposed to be -malicious, daring to some degree as if he was taunting him with his capability. He challenged him with a gradually growing smirk.

At that moment, Heeseung realized it wasn't a renunciation but a part of the plan. The plan that had been constructed from the beginning. Composed to every little point to lure out the enemy. She was his weakness, and they damn well knew about it. They were cruel enough to use it against him.

With another look, he noticed the turnabout in Joon-Woo's glare, the shade of wrath igniting.

"For thinking I would let her off so easily," the loud bang emitted through the silence, a sharp "pop" following right after. The noise yielded Heeseung to register the situation, his eyes widening as they quickly scanned for the landing. His gaze landed on the girl in the chair, uncovering a bullet point of entrance on her chest.

Heeseung's heart dropped as he looked over to the side.

His eyes widened in horror, staring blankly at the injured girl.

His body went numb, but he still tried to remain as stoic as possible.

All he could do was stare, frozen in fear, as the girl's white shirt slowly turned red.

Heeseung knew he couldn't repeat the same mistake, not hesitating to respond as he pointed his gun directly at the shooter. It was what had to be done. Jun-Seo was going to die today, next to his brother.

His heart skipped a beat as the adrenaline rush towards his veins intensified. He pressed the trigger, watching the evil twin staring back at him in shock, falling back.

The loud thud confirmed the man was no longer alive, the bullet in his head adding to reason.

Heeseung slowly approached the corpse, looking at him one last time to ensure himself.

At that moment, he indeed felt the unbearable weight on his shoulders falling off, all of it evaporating in the air.

Heeseung finally exhales, dropping his gun to the floor. His heart rate slows down, but the poundage in his body becomes heavier, almost as if the world was collapsing in on him.

"Where-" he quickly turned around at the origin of the sound, his eyes meeting the girl's.

Heeseung instantly rushed to her side, trying to assess the damage.

Her blood flowed onto his hand as he pressed it on the entrance wound, attempting to stop the bleeding.

"I'm going to save you, just hang on..." he whispered, applying pressure after dialing his collegaue.

As she struggled to remain conscious, her eyes locked into his.

She was unable to express her gratitude with words, so she gave his hand a light squeeze, letting him know that she understood his intentions.

She trusted the man for some reason, even though she couldn't see his face. Everything was pitch dark.

She hoped for the misery to end soon, letting her eyelids rest.

She only waited for the moment to end, for the afterlife to welcome her.

Heeseung was overwhelmed with worry and fear. He knew how close she was to dying, watching her breath grow shallower and more shallow after each passing moment.

He saw her eyes flickering in and out of consciousness, but all he could do was gently stroke her hair away from her face, hoping and wishing for a miracule.

His hand rested on her chest, feeling her heartbeat. He desperately implored it to keep going, pleading with the higher powers, begging them not to let her slip through his fingers.

"Don't leave me, please," he whispered, kissing her hand.

Heeseung noticed her breathing pattern becoming erratic, her pulse slowly becoming weak, indicating that she was losing the battle for her life.

"Don't go," he whispered, placing his face closer to hers, willing her not to leave. The tears rolled down his cheeks, shaking his head in denial. He desperately tried to keep them from falling again.

"Please stay with me," he beged, unable to handle the thought of her dying in his arms. He continued to caress her cheeks, his voice muffled as his face grew redder and redder.

"Please..."

He recalled all the memories they encountered, the bad and the good, and burst into tears again. He didn't even try to stop them, unable to hold it in any longer.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you..."

Heeseung's voice filled with anguish, and ha piece of his heart ripped out of his chest.

His desperation grew as her heartbeat grew weaker and weaker. Her chest rose and fell, labored.

Each breath was battle for her life, and her body was not winning the fight. It started to grow cold, and her heartbeat became even fainter, as if it was trying to slip through his grasp.

"I'm so sorry."

"I should have protected you," he cried, pressing into her chest.

"I love you, Y/N."

Her hand rested on his, a faint smile spreading across her face.

---------------------------------------------

"Y/N,"

"You-"

"It's you?" her brain refused to believe the alternative, pacing back and forth, forth and back, like a spectator at a tennis match.

Lee Heeseung?

Her Lee Heeseung?

No, that's impossible.

She foolishly wanted to hold onto the strand of hope even though it was perilous. She knew it would relish on painting her walls within in qualm, scribbling various disquietude lines, and doodling frightening visions.

It appeared so compulsive, eyelids concealing the water amassing beside. The droplets traced her rubicund cold cheeks, reaching the corners of her quivering mouth. She tasted the woeful hopelessness accumulated over the past months.

How hopelessly she wished for it to be real.

For him to be with her.

If there was one thing she had been yearning for, it was his return.

Somewhere deep down in her shattered soul, she dreamed of a reunion. A reconvene in which she could hold onto him without fear. Without having to worry about him letting go once she would look away. Without being afraid of falling asleep because he wouldn't be there in the morning.

It was the only thing she had been longing for.

"No. You're not here. I'm seeing things again, right?" She looked around, laughing while groping the mattress. Doing so, she failed to detect the unknown material, repeating the same motion. It wasn't the same at home. It wasn't the latex filling she was used to.

She swiftly looked around, eyes darting around the unknown layout. They glanced over its walls sheathed in snow without a single trace of a painting, the dim lamp gleaming in the corner. It smothered the gloominess in a soothing tint of beige, strangely comforting.

It was so familiar, yet so unknown.

Was it because this wasn't her first time being in this room?

"Why am I here?" Her rapid breathing complicated the question's delivery, hands clutching onto the duvet to prevent them from shaking even more.

You fool.

She looked down, studying the IV line inserted in her vein. Her eyes popped out of their sockets, desperately trying to recall what had happened to put her in this situation in the first place.

"Calm down," the man beside appeased, holding her hand.

Compared to her ice skin, he was a burning flame.

He wanted to believe it was because of his anticipation and not because of her declining health.

He didn't want to be attentive to her paper skin or her bones visibly sticking out. Oh, how much he wanted to believe her knuckles weren't poking out next to his hand.

However, he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to denial when these were all the signs he harbored before.

The last time he saw her, his thumb couldn't reach his pinky finger. When he wrapped them around her tender wrist now, they managed to join.

All of these signals were so familiar that he couldn't ignore them. They weren't normal and he knew from experience what effects it could have if not properly treated. Consulting with the doctor during her sleep was a necessary procedure, but he couldn't tell her everything now.

For God's sake, she couldn't even acknowledge it was him caressing her hand.

He felt like a stranger sitting there, with a worried expression and no response. He didn't know what to do. The only thing he wanted was to hold her and tell her everything was over. That he had finally accomplished what he should have done a year ago. Something he owed her from the day they met.

Where was the feeling of joy he was supposed to encounter? First and foremost, he executed an outstanding performance on the job tonight. Thanks to him, the case that was open for years had finally come to an end. It was due to his commission the two criminals now lingered behind bars.

"Is this one of those dreams again?" she suddenly grasped his shirt, unable to distinguish fantasy from reality. She held on to the cotton fabric with dear life, knuckles beginning to hurt as the grip amplified. The oaky fragrance disbanded into the air, entering through her nostrils to allow a segment of remembrance.

Her fingers slid against the black clothing, studying the outlines of it, tracing down and up again. His chest rose with each unanticipated touch, brows sliding upwards to inscribe a few lines. Worry was written all over them when she gaped at him in confusion, refusing to accept his existence.

"Where I hopelessly look for you and never manage to find you?"

The headache was overlapping her brain in confusion, and she struggled to fathom her surroundings. She didn't comprehend the quick change of emotions on his face, looking at her as if she had announced the death of a close relative. In the end, she went through these nightmares almost every night. So, it wasn't abnormal to her. Yet, his stare was intense and frightened, screaming in concern, the complete opposite of her disclosure.

It wasn't.

It couldn't be after all.

He left a long time ago.

"I'm tired of those dreams," her voice broke down, replacing it with a weep, "because I never manage to find you." She broke down, releasing the suppressed pain gathered in her system.

The mere thought of them ran shivers down her spine, completely despising the state they left her in. The number of times she woke up crying, desperately trying to hold onto the comfort beside was too much to count. The way she would open her eyelids only to realize there was nothing but a cold and untouched bedside.

She would always look at the empty spot with hope.

Hope he would come into the room with that dazzling look and hop back in the bed to hold her tight in his embrace. She wanted him to say everything would be okay, just like he used to. She wanted to hear his smile again, see his laughter, and feel his love in her hands.

Was it that selfish to ask for the undoable?

It was.

After all, he had always been a far stretch - an unreachable beauty, like a star in the sky she could only admire from afar. Too unreal to be authentic. Too perfect to exist. Too good to be true. Just like their relationship.

Even stars die eventually and gradually start fading away. It was simply natural for them to end as well.

So why was it so hard to say goodbye?

Over 365 days have passed since the day, and Y/N still stood at the beginning of the road. It was as if her feet were glued to the floor, trapping her in the moment she desperately tried to eradicate.

If a samurai's katana could slice through her stomach now, it wouldn't manage to do more damage. Nor his bow stricken to embed in her lungs. It would simply sting for a second before disappearing into the mist, just like everything else in her life. It would form a pool of blood beneath, assembling a shattered reflection. A reflection she would reach for and fall into its never-ending well of hatred and pangs of conscience.

"I did something wrong, right? That's why you left. I was so annoying with my constant mood swings, wasn't I?"

Heeseung closed his eyelids to prevent the accumulated sadness from firing, trying to stay collected so as not to evoke more sorrow.

His hands turned into fists, aching to swing on the coward's head.

What a selfish idiot he was.

He was going to cry? Him? When he was the reason they were both in this room right now?

It was his decision that caused all of this. He wouldn't be right back at the start if he hadn't given her up for his stupid career. If only he had just listened to his inner heart, things could have been different, better.

It was like someone was ripping him open, cutting and slicing with the sharpest blade, puncturing endless rebukes. Not only was he screaming from the pain, but also from witnessing Y/N uncontrollably crying in front of him.

Her petite hands held onto her hospital gown, slanting over to let out all the misery he had caused her. She couldn't stop herself from wailing in agony and torment, feeling so hopeless and confused with him reappearing in her life. It was a hard pill to swallow. The kind that gets stuck in your throat, and water cannot drown it.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't control it," she sniveled, clutching her hair tightly and pulling it to inflict more pain on herself.

"I'm so sorry," she screamed into the duvet, countlessly snuffling. Her cries were muffled, the airways between her lungs and nose becoming tighter with each one. She was practically yelping for air, hyperventilating.

"I love you, Lee Heeseung. I love you so much that it hurts," her trembling index pointed towards her heart, repeatedly tapping her chest.

At this point, she was out of breath, wailing and gripping her clothes as if they could release the painful embrace around her chest. She lifted her gaze to meet the apples of his eyes. They were glutted with sorrow and guilt, heartbreak and commiseration. They were merely reflecting his feelings - complete hopelessness.

"I can't live without you, Heeseung. I can't-" Her sob got cut off by his sudden maneuver, palms gently cupping her cheeks before drawing her face closer to him. Now, he stared into her chocolate eyes, gazing at his hickory ones with surprise.

"I love you more, Y/N." His nose rubbed against hers, foreheads aligning with one another to create an intimate moment between the lovers. They used to do this often, almost every morning, just holding each other and laughing in joy. It was like a routine, something mandatory before getting out of bed.

"More than anything else in this world," his tears caressed hers, tracing them upwards with his lips. He replaced the traces of sorrow with caring pecks, making sure to collect every drop.

"Heeseung," her hand clutched his shirt, trying to stay sane even though, deep down, she was melting in his touch.

He lightly tilted her head back, gaining access to her quivering mouth. She had it slightly ajar, huffing the compressed air through the small gap. Waves of electricity were dashing down her cells, causing an upheaval of homeostasis. The more he looked at her, the harder it got to breathe without a strain on her lungs. She had no choice but to say, "Please, just kiss me."

There was no time for that request to have been adequately thought through, as the circumstances deemed the opposite effect. For once, Y/N didn't want to think over her decisions. She wanted them to happen and worry about the consequences later.

"Can I really?" his hand slid back, holding her head to grant her maximum relaxation.

"You fool, I just told you to do it."

"I only want to make sure," he murmured, his lips automatically attracting with hers, like two magnets of opposite poles.

Perhaps it was a lofty comparison, but the way neither side hesitated before carrying out the deed proved otherwise. They have been yearning for this moment ever since they have parted ways.

Hell, they spent all of their time convincing themselves they weren't a match made to last for centuries when they were. Their love was so powerful that the glue in their bond never dried out.

Even though they were two completely different people, it was their love that brought them together. No one could change that.

"No one."

"Not ever," he whispered while he damped her lips with his wet and warm tongue, panting with each smacking sound.

It was like entering heaven.

He could almost feel the bright rays of happiness encircling them with its mighty power, not to mention Y/N's whimpers, which were like music to his ears.

Or maybe it was his poetic description of this incredible ecstasy that made it appear so illusory.

He felt like a teenage boy again. His hormones were all over the place, and his heartbeat was agitated with an uncomfortable tension in his boxers.

God was cruel for putting his body into this state, especially in this situation. However, he couldn't control it. A whole year without Y/N meant a year full of bottled-up pain and tension. He never went out and slept with someone else because he knew too well no one could compare to her.

Fuck, no one could be her, so there was no point in doing anything reckless. Plus, his heart wouldn't be able to do something so dishonest. It was loyal, unlike him, and it never erased nor forgot the name of his soulmate.

"I missed you so much," she cried, her grip around him tightening, so afraid he would let go and the feeling of safety would disappear with him.

"I know, Y/N. I missed you, too." Heeseung's hand slid up her arm, then her neck, until his hands rested on her cheeks, and he gently pulled her closer.

"But I'm here now," he continued, his voice filled with tenderness and affection. "And I don't plan on leaving your side ever again."

She looked up with red eyes, swollen and aching from the pang inside her heart. "You promise?" she asked innocently, not ready to receive a no for an answer.

"I promise." His voice was firm, his words soothing.

He kissed the top of her head, feeling her grip tightening around him while tears still ran down her wet, rosy cheeks. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, refusing to let go.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not this time."

As if by instinct, she buried her face in his chest yet again, breathing in his scent and feeling his warmth as he enveloped her petite body in his warm embrace.

Y/N felt her heart beating faster, the rush of emotions overwhelming and confusing her in the process. God, how much she has missed this. Being held, taken care of, and loved. For the first time, she allowed herself to feel vulnerable and let out a pained sob. She had held it for so long.

"Breathe," he whispered in her ear, noticing her shallow breath in a poor attempt at composure.

Her body couldn't stop shaking in his arms, the waves of emotions and shock deluging her.

"I'm here." The man of her dreams whispered, his words soothing out the bump of worries in her head. He stroked her lusciously dark hair once again, caressing her cheek as she leaned her head on the crook of his neck.

"I've got you."

That was all she needed to hear.

They both remained in each other's arms, the silence broken only by their heavy breathing. At the same time, Y/N leaned in for his hands, holding them in hers. They were big and mighty next to her small and delicate ones, swallowing them in his palms. She played with his fingers, wrapping her digits around each one like an adorable baby.

She has done this so many times before. It felt so natural each time as if their hands were sculpted to fit between the gaps of their fingers. Every insertion and removal was smooth like butter. She repeated it over and over because she couldn't get enough of it.

It was his hand she was holding and her hand he was kissing.

"Is this alright?" he asked foolishly.

She replied with a passionate kiss instead, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling the strong man as close as possible. Her body pressed against his, so gentle with each movement that it made him shiver. He leaned into the squeeze, letting go of his worries once and for all, only focusing on her warmth blending with his. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, the heat of her against his own sparking lascivious ideas.

Her lips pressed softly against his skin, enticingly murmuring her name as a result.

"Y/N..."

"I missed hearing you saying my name," she whispered into his ear before gently biting onto its helix.

Heeseung closed his eyes and exhaled a deep and long breath. He leaned closer and caressed her chin, tilting it upwards so he could meet her eyes again.

"I want to be with you forever," he said softly, hand gently caressing her hip.

"I want to wake up next to you every morning and sleep with you by my side."

"I want to hold your face and feel your lips on mine every chance. To feel our love growing more and more each day."

"I want to spend my life with you. To know you're my home, my heart."

She gaped at him in shock, not expecting to hear such a meaningful trail of confession after everything. It contradicted his ambiguously lengthy absence in which Y/N went through hell thinking about what she had done wrong.

Now, he sat before her, eyes full of ardor and sincerity, brushing his devotion on her like a naked canvas.

"I've made the mistake of letting you go once," he held her hand, placing it on his chest. She felt his rhythmic heartbeat gradually increasing with each prolonged second of his speech.

"I won't make the same mistake twice, Y/N."

Heeseung's voice is filled with sincerity and truth, determined to finally carry through his feelings to her like he should have done.

"I can't promise I will always be perfect," he expressed, his hand intertwining with hers. "But I promise, I won't let anyone tear us apart again."

He squeezed her even tighter as if she was the only thing holding him together.

"What do you mean? Who tore us apart?" her face changed instantly, confusedly staring into his apprehensive eyes. The cat was out of the bag, and Heeseung finally had to face the harsh side of reality.

Instead of answering, however, his gaze drifted away.

His expression became darker, pupils dilating from the rise of anger within. It wasn't directed towards the reason, but himself. He was furious for preserving this crucial information from her for so long.

He looked away, his hand still over hers as he tried to find the words. He took it and brought it to his lips, gently kissing it as he spoke.

"Your parents..." Heeseung said quietly.

"They never approved of us, and I knew."

Heeseung paused, unsure of how to proceed or what to say next. He didn't want to ruin her relationship with her parents or affect their reunion. Telling the truth was the best choice, but he wondered if she would forgive either side.

"They threatened to sue me and ruin my career. They said I was negligent on the mission. That I wasn't a good enough person to be with you."

He stared at her, doubtful of how much information to share.

"They didn't want me to talk to you ever again," he disclosed, his tone guarded. "They told me either I stayed away from you or they would ruin my life."

He sighed and looked down at the ground, a slight sense of shame on his face.

"It was their disapproval, combined with the threat of losing everything, that forced me to leave."

"So you chose your career over our love?" she scoffed, pushing his arms away.

"Your career was more important than our relationship?"

She shook her head in disappointment.

"No..." Heeseung quickly replied, stunned and hurt by her sudden change of attitude. "You know I'm not like that."

The truth was that he completely understood her reaction. He responded to his terrible decision the same way, turning against himself for being such a selfish prick.

Nevertheless, so much was at stake that he couldn't have done it differently. That's what he wanted to explain. To make her see his point of view and hopefully make her understand.

"You're the only person who knows what I had to go through to become an officer, Y/N. You know what kind of future I envisioned for myself, for us."

He wavered, rethinking his wording so as not to make it sound wrong. His voice slightly trembled, incredibly scared of what might come after all of this. "It would have been my entire future they would have destroyed."

She shook her head in denial, not wanting to believe her bloodline would stand in the way of her happiness. She couldn't believe her mother and father put her into that misery and pretended to be clueless.

They blamed him for everything, constantly pointing out how right they were about him from the beginning of their relationship. They kept telling her that he would eventually leave and never look back when, in reality, they were the ones who would cause it to happen. They were pulling the strings behind her back.

This whole time, while she deteriorated from the uncontrollable pain all alone, they were the culprits of her suffering.

"I," she covered her mouth, the urge to vomit intensifying at the repulsive revelation.

"Why," she looked up at him, anger and resentment burning in her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me right away?" she whispered, her voice hingeing from the lack of power.

Heeseung shut his eyelids, unable to speak at first due to the words choking him up. He couldn't even look his love in the eyes as he lowered his face in remorse.

"I thought you wouldn't believe me," he replied calmly, his voice full of emotion. "They are your parents, after all."

Heeseung searched for the correct words to express what he felt in those moments right before he took the decision to leave her for good.

"I thought me leaving would be the least painful, the least harmful choice. I didn't want to ruin your family for one incompetent coward like me."

"Bullshit!" she yelled, throwing all of his attempts away. She was so angry at him and her parents all at once that it molded into one tangled wool of wrath that gushed obstreperous amounts of ire.

"I would have believed you, Heeseung. These are all just excuses-"

"How can you say these are just excuses," Heeseung oppugned, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence.

"You think I liked being forced to make that decision? You think I liked seeing you in pain because of me?"

He sharply inhaled, almost hissing when exhaling. The words were pouring out of him as fast as a waterfall, and no one could stop him from speaking his mind now.

"Don't you think I regret all of it? Don't you think that I wished every single day that I had just told you the damn truth?" he snapped back, his tone rising at each word.

"Do you have any idea what I went through this last year?" she shut him down, firmly pushing him away.

Do you have any idea what I was thinking this entire time?" she panted, the wrath inside her escalating through the roof.

"I thought I wasn't good enough for you, that I couldn't even make you happy, that you left because I only rubbed off my bad mental state, and you couldn't handle it anymore. This entire time, I thought it was MY fault you were gone, and I wanted to die." The curses escaped her chapped lips, fists hitting the mattress out of frustration and lack of control over her emotions. Her eyes burned with ire and disarray, quivering from undergoing sudden shock.

"Every day, I dreamt about dying. Every night, I hoped I wouldn't wake up the next day and that I would just die." She shouted into his face, her yells soon enough turning into painful sobs.

"After you left, Hee, there was no point for me to live anymore."

Heeseung stared at her, totally awed and stunned by her words. He was blind this whole time, ignorant about what was happening behind the curtains.

He couldn't form a sentence, experiencing such strong and intense emotions that he couldn't even find the words to describe them.

"I tried to end my life so many times," she cried, covering her face with trembling hands, entirely losing control of her body.

Chills ran down his spine at the weight of the last sentence, which unraveled the extent of her suffering.

His worst fear became true: she was hurting because of him.

From the start, he tried to do what was best for her future. Yet, he only made it all worse. He ruined her and became the cause of her nightmares, of every second of her affliction.

His heart broke into a million pieces. The amount of guilt he had never experienced before struck him intensely, leaving him breathless.

Tears slowly rolled down his cheeks as he realized he had worsened her depression.

First, he took away the person who loved her the most and then disposed of the one she loved the most. All at the same time, because of him.

He wanted to shout, to kick himself for being so oblivious. He wanted to hug her and hold her, cry with her, and beg for forgiveness.

But all he could do at that moment was stand like a deer caught in the headlights, completely speechless.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured.

"I never wanted to cause you... pain." His voice broke as he said those words, the guilt eating him alive.

"I-I should have been there for you, I-" Another sigh parted away.

"I failed to protect you."

"Yea, you fucked up. Now, go," her tone drastically changed, sitting up as she crossed her arms, head turning towards the window.

The world outside seemed so much calmer than the one in the room, the tension sticking on the walls.

Heeseung didn't know what to say. He tried to protest, to say something, to do anything to fix things, but after your dismissal, he knew he had to accept the fact that he had messed up beyond all reasoning.

He walked towards the door, waiting for her to change her mind and ask him to stay.

However, his wish was replaced by a soft "go."

No other words were necessary for this goodbye.

He turned to face her one final time, his eyes full of regret and misery. They couldn't even match hers for more than two seconds before a tear rolled down his cheek.

He had to look away, refusing to see the pain in her eyes and her trembling face.

"No," he said, turning around.

Heeseung was frustrated and felt misunderstood, lost in the words of frustration and anger thrown his way.

It broke his heart to hear her say these things. Although he expected the worst possible scenario, he couldn't come to terms with this alternative. There was no way he would let her go again.

He paused, taking a deep breath to process what he was hearing.

"I failed you as a lover and a friend," he whispered, the tone in his voice filled with sorrow and disappointment.

"I should have been there for you, I should have stayed and fought."

Her stare was still focused outside, refusing to communicate with him further. There was a lot of bitterness and pain inside her to pursue a polite conversation. Any minute, she would go off like a bomb. He was pushing the time until detonation.

Heeseung took a deep breath yet again, looking around the room in disbelief.

He had never seen her so angry before — not even when she was angry with her parents. This was a whole new level of anger.

He couldn't bear the thought of leaving in such a condition while being furious and hurt. Even if he thought she no longer wanted him around, he needed to prove that was not true. He wanted to prove to her his love was real and was not as shallow as she thought.

"Don't make me call the staff and get you kicked out," the threat set a foot on the floor, directly aiming at him.

She finally made eye contact, handing a cold glare, her brows furrowed and her nostrils flared.

For a few seconds, Heeseung was utterly stunned by her sudden threat and the intensity of the stare. Once she made eye contact, he saw deep down the pain and hurt that she was frantically trying to mask.

"I just want to say one more thing before I leave," he whispered, his tone gentle and apologetic. He looked away, unsure if he was doing the right thing.

"I don't want to hear anything from you," she sat up and got her slippers, aiming to stand up and walk him out.

However, a sharp groan escaped instead, her hand automatically positioning on the ache in her chest. His heart sank once again as he noticed the sudden wince in her facial expression.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice full of worry and concern.

He wanted to reach out but knew he did not deserve to comfort you in such a critical moment. It was all his fault.

Therefore, he remained standing, but only a meter away, as his worries grew over.

"I just need you to leave me alone." her expression changed nattily, practically hissing out the sentence.

He remained silent, not saying a word.He could hear her breathing and the slight wheezing with each inhale. Other than that, there was only the silence of the room.He couldn't find any words to say in such a situation, not when her voice bore hatred and disdain.

Slowly, he backed away from her, his feet making light sounds on the floor, almost unable to hear them. She winced when attempting to slightly move, each muscle in her body tensing at the unexpected action.

Tears summon in her eyes, crawling back from the overlapping ache and sorrow combined into a deadly mixture. Heeseung noticed how her body reacted, recalling the doctor's orders. He couldn't hold back anymore. He couldn't stand idle.

"Wait," he said quickly, his tone filled with worry and panic. He rushed to her side, putting a hand on her shoulder to prevent her from getting up.

"God, you're such a-" Her whine swallows the curse word, shutting her eyelids due to the ascending pain.

"You can hate me as much as you want, but you must lay down this instance," Heeseung sighed, noticing her effort at resisting his actions even if it was all for her safety. He tried to lay her down slowly but firmly, making sure he didn't hurt her any further.

He gently pushed her backward on the bed, hoping the pain from the movement didn't worsen.

"You're a pain in the ass," she coughed, eyes still closed to avoid any form of direct eye contact. His presence beside was enough to rile her up and clench her fists.

He had to hide his smile as her attempts to push him away and the occasional bursts of insults were adorable. She might have been furious at the moment, but her actions gave away the small hint of weakness underneath.

It made him want to apologize for coming back at the wrong time, but he remained silent and waited by her side for the pain to subside.

He sat on the edge of the bed, looking out of the window with a heavy pang in his heart. He stayed silent for a while, content with sitting in silence, even if she was still furious at him.

He occasionally glanced at her with a sorrowful look, as if he was sorry for causing you so much pain and distress.

Slowly, he turned his head back towards the window and exhaled, the only noise he made for the following minutes.

"I should be furious and mad at you for everything," she whispered, "Yet, I can't because it hurts even more."

Heeseung's eyes widened once she spoke up. She might have not looked at him, but he heard her perfectly.

She still sounded angry, but it sounded more like regret than anything else. It was the first time he saw her defenses crack, and he was starting to wonder how long until she completely broke down.

"I prayed every night to see you again, to be held in your arms," she paused, suppressing the wave of tears from flushing down her face.

"I-" she put her arm over her face, fighting herself from speaking up further.

He remained silent, watching her struggle with her emotions. He couldn't help but feel a pang in his heart seeing her trying so hard not to break down in front of him.

With a light, tender gesture, he wiped the tears away from her cheeks and put his hand over her fist, trying to hold her fingers while remaining careful about the injuries.

"I hate you," she whimpered.

"I hate how much I love you after everything."

Those words hit him like a knife to the heart.

Hearing her confess her love and hatred towards him was a bittersweet feeling. Although her words still harbored anger, there was no denying his heart was aching for her.

He looked at her, not saying anything, just staring, his eyebrows furrowing, waiting to hear what else she had to say.

"You broke me, and somehow-" she lingered on her words, snuffling, "you're the only thing I think about."

Heeseung's heart ached with each word she spoke, hearing the emotional confession.

He didn't quite know what to say. Her love for him seemed just as conflicting as her rage and hatred as if both were trying to take the throne as the primary emotion in her heart.

Her tearful, trembling voice made him feel vulnerable too, his entire being consumed by the emotions that made him want to hug her so tightly, wanting so desperately to make everything better.

"You turned me into a mess," she covered her face with her palms, refusing to be seen this vulnerable and weak again.

He couldn't even argue with that statement because, at that moment, he knew she was right. He had turned her into a mess. He had left her without a single thought about if she would be alright, what it would do to her given her psychological condition.

He had forgotten how much she loved and needed him and how his sudden disappearance would affect her. He was unable to stand her vulnerable state any longer.

He grabbed both her wrists, pulling them away from her face, letting his eyes meet hers.

"Look at me," he said in the softest way possible.

He was doing exactly what she didn't want him to do.

She was concealing her reckless emotions from him, forbidding him to see her like this any longer.

At his words, she reluctantly let go of and slowly lifted her face. She didn't want him here, but she did. She craved, no, needed him.

She looked directly into his eyes, feeling her heart ache, not wanting this moment to end but also wanting to escape it. His orbs had the most solemn expression, looking at her with sorrow and empathy.

He couldn't help but feel how her emotions were constantly switching between rage and sadness, and although she didn't say the words, his heart was still willing to believe that she still loved him.

Because she truly did.

And that's why she hated herself so much.

Heeseung's heart couldn't take it anymore.

When she looked away from his eyes, he saw how much she was still struggling to keep her emotions from breaking down completely. He wanted to help her, he wanted to make everything better, but he didn't know how.

With a light tug, he pulled her close and tightly hugged her. The warmth from his body spread to her, the smell of his cologne filling her nostrils.

As if the whole world had turned upside down, she had officially reached her limits. There were no barriers in her way anymore and she let her emotions burst out.

At last, she allowed herself to cry in front of someone again. In front of him. In his arms, in his embrace, in his chest.

With the sound of her trembling breaths, Heeseung could feel how real this moment was. Every tear falling from her cheeks, every sniffle, and every sob.

He didn't mind one bit. He didn't care how vulnerable she was right now or how weak this moment made her look. To him, her hugging hugging him back and feeling her body pressed against his was all that mattered right now.

She was finally home.

She was finally safe again.

She was where she was supposed to be all along.

With her lover, her soulmate, her other part.

She could finally smile again.

Heeseung tightened the grip on her body, wanting to bring her as close as possible to fill the space of loneliness in her heart.

The feeling of her warm body against his was all he needed to feel complete again. It was like he found the last missing piece of the puzzle. With it, the picture was complete. His heart was finally beating again.

He kept his arms around her, not letting go of her for a single second. He hoped that this was just the beginning of their second chance.

Her hands rested on his chest as she lifted her head, inches away from his lips.

He brought her closer, making the space between their faces even shorter. He slowly lowered his head to meet her lips, his breath slightly trembling as his heart pumped rapidly in his chest.

She moaned into the kiss, closing her eyes and letting him take control. She was so tired, both mentally and physically, but craved him intensely.

Their tongues collided against each other leisurely and intensely at the same time, desperate to have one another as close as possible.

The kiss was hungry, both despairing for each other that they were practically devouring each other rather than just simply enjoying the moment.

Heeseung's arms tightly wrapped around her, holding her firmly against his body, his lips moving with a steady pace alongside hers. There was no need for any words, as their entire bodies had already expressed everything they needed to.

His hands ran under her hospital gown, sliding upwards on her back. She arched her back at the contact, moaning and lightly biting onto his lip.

Heeseung couldn't help but moan at her reaction. The feeling of his hands on her skin sent shivers down her spine, his fingers feeling like little sparks of joy spreading through.

He moaned against her lips again, wanting this moment to last even longer.

She was all his, and he was all hers.

There was nothing that could stop them from being so intimate and together right now. All the anger and hatred that lingered inside was washed away by the sheer joy of being reunited.

He began tracing her spine with delicate, light touches, sending a chill down her back despite the warm sensations that the gesture caused.

When his hands moved further up, her back began to arch involuntarily, breathing becoming heavier.

His fingers found themselves tangled in her hair, pulling back as the kisses became even more passionate.

"Someone could come in any moment," she panted as he pulled away for a minute, gripping his shirt for stability since she was in a daze. Any hospital staff could barge in, and she certainly didn't want anyone to catch her engaging in lewd activities...

Heeseung let out a chuckle at her reminder, still feeling his heart pump and his lips vibrating with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

"I don't mind," he whispered, his lips hovering near hers again, teasing.

At that moment, the kiss felt so perfect for him, so right that he didn't care if anyone saw them in such a vulnerable state. He looked around the room and back at her, a small, mischievous grin appearing on his face.

"You're crazy!" she wanted to protest, but he kissed her again, sliding his hand behind her neck so she could fully transfer her weight onto his hand.

"Don't worry," he said, getting up and heading towards the door, getting a "do not disturb" sign out of the shelf and putting it on the door's front handle before locking themselves in.

He was glad he had decided to take her to a private hospital, not only because the surgery was done quickly, but he could also stay the night with her.

She couldn't help but feel a little bit of relief wash over, knowing that they wouldn't be interrupted by anybody walking by. The two of you could finally have some privacy to let the passion and desire run free.

With the heat between both of them building up, Heeseung returned to the bed, this time straddling on top of her.

"Oh," she gaped at him from below, her hands holding onto his arms next to her.

Her gaze landed underneath his shirt as he hovered over her, allowing her to fully see his abs. They were still as sculpted and defined as she remembered, perhaps even more visible now. Her mouth slightly hung loose, biting her lip to conceal her arousal.

He looked down at her, seeing the intent stare at his abs as her finger lightly trailed towards the edge of his shirt.

With a soft smirk, he lifted his arms, letting her expose his entire upper body, the abs, and pecs flexing slightly as he moved. He let her admire and touch every inch of his muscle, even letting her trace the veins on his arms.

For some reason, seeing him suddenly topless caused a couple of fireworks to set off in her stomach, immediately looking away to hide the wave of heat mantling her cheeks.

Heeseung couldn't help but giggle softly at her shyness, finding it utterly appealing. He still got butterflies each time she blushed like this, finding it to be one of her most endearing characteristics.

He leaned closer, lifting her hands off her face and caressing it with his own hands.

"So beautiful," he whispered, pressing his forehead against hers.

"Don't be shy. You can touch any part of me you want."

"Hee," she panted, feeling breathless from the lewdness of his words.

He chuckled, noticing how overwhelmed she got.

"I can't believe how easily flustered you get."

He paused for a few seconds before placing one of his hands on her pink cheek.

"It's okay to be touched like this, you know," he whispered into her ear.

"You've touched my heart so many times already, you can touch me as much as you like."

"If you keep talking like that, I'll melt," she sighed, placing her hand on his face as his gaze only evoked more attraction.

Heeseung laughed, finding her response to his comments sweet. He could see her already trying not to blush and feeling quite embarrassed, which made him want to tease her even further.

"Is that so?" he inquired, looking at her with a teasing smile on his lips.

"Well, maybe it would be better to see you in liquid form. Then I could at least drink in your beauty all at once."

"What are you even saying!" She widened her eyes, slapping his arm and covering her mouth out of embarrassment.

Heeseung smiled and played with a strand of her hair.

"Am I making you upset?" he teased, "and there I was, planning on making you melt all over me so I could lick it all up." With a smirk, he brought his face closer to hers, letting her feel his breath against her lips.

"You're such a pervert," her head turned to the side on the pillow, closing her eyes as the tip of her ears began to redden.

"You like it, though," his voice was tinged with a teasing undertone, almost daring her to deny it.

"Is this making you nervous?" he asked lusciously, "maybe I should keep kissing your neck until you can't take it anymore."

She moaned and grabbed his back the moment his lips brushed against her neck, breathing heavier than before.

He knew damn well how sensitive her neck was, and he always used that against her. He smirked at her reaction to his kiss, noticing how her body tensed up.

As he continued kissing her neck and leaving hickeys all across it, he could hear how she was trying to repress her moans.He didn't plan on going too far with this, but he was incredibly tempted to make you her out with his touch.

She pushed him away for a minute, her whole body practically shaking from the stimulation.

Heeseung smirked, knowing he had pushed her limits with the kiss.

Still, he didn't hesitate one second to get close to her again and place light kisses across her face.

"Is that too much?" he asked, his voice still maintaining that teasing tone, "I could do even more you know. We have a whole night ahead of us."

"I hate you so much," she grunted, letting him peck her face with smooches.

"Such harsh words coming from such a cute mouth." Heeseung laughed as she kept resisting his kisses, only making him want to tease her more.

"You can hate me all you want, but you can't escape my charm," he grinned at her, kissing her forehead and letting his fingers trail downwards.

"You could have gotten me naked instead of blabbering on."

Heeseung raised his eyebrows and smirked at the straightforwardness of her comment.

"Is that an invitation?" he inquired, "cause if it is, then I accept it completely." He brought her close to his body again, still keeping a firm grasp around her waist.

"Let me make your desire come true."

"Be careful, it hurts," she sat up, holding onto him.

Heeseung smiled softly at her actions, letting her sit up and gently lifting her onto his lap. He saw how tired she was, the exhaustion of the surgery still weighing in on her.

"Are you sure you want to do this right now?" he inquired in a concerned tone, "we don't have to do anything, and still…"

He wavered for a moment, leaning her body against him.

"I still want to be near you."

She nodded, running her hands on his bare chest before giving it soft and tender pecks.

He let out a soft groan as his chest was bombarded with so many kisses, his body feeling warm at the spot her lips placed on. He let her body lean on him, enjoying the softness of her skin on his own. He couldn't stop but smile at how soft and gentle her every gesture was, making him feel the need to protect her.

She traced upwards, bringing her lips to his neck. She soaked up the smell of his scent, letting her lips slowly brush against his honey skin, licking and biting occasionally.

After kissing his cheek, she let her face rest on his shoulder, sighing at the warmth they were passing onto each other.

Heeseung cuddled her, running his hands through her silky hair as he enjoyed the closeness of her presence. They were both lying in silence for a couple of minutes, letting the quietness of the moment envelope them both. He felt content, and so did she. She floundered to explain it, but being in his arms made her feel safe and protected as if she was in a cocoon away from the outside world.

"Help me take this off, please," she pointed at her gown, slowly kissing him one more time.

"You don't have to say it twice."

He paused for a moment, feeling her tongue gently slide across his lips. It was as if she couldn't wait to feel his warmth all over her body. The thought made him eager to get rid of the clothing, so he began pulling the strings to the side, slowly untying them before she could slip the dress over her shoulders.

She looked down to see her chest wrapped with bandages from the surgery, sighing at the sight. Her eyes darted away, slanting a bit.

Heeseung's eyes followed her gaze, realizing how uncomfortable and self-conscious she must have felt about it. Wanting to ease her tension, he smiled and placed his hands on her shoulders before whispering next to her ear.

"You don't have to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. I am your lover, and nothing you show me will make me love you any less."

With those words, Heeseung's voice was tinged with kindness, as he wanted to make her feel at ease and wanted.

"I'm sorry for looking like this," she lowered your head, trying to hide her chest.

Heeseung gently caressed her face, lifting it so he could stare directly into her eyes.

"Never be sorry for something you have zero control over." He lifted his hand and placed it on top of her chest, his thumb running across the bandages.

"I was here to support you during the surgery, and I'm still here now to support you through your recovery, and no matter what, I will always love you."

She felt her eyes watering, sobbing as his kind words caressed her soul with love.

He didn't hesitate to pull her in a tight hug, soothing her as he cradled her in his arms.

The comfort of his touch was evident, not only from how her body quivered from the sudden embrace but also from her sobbing. It was clear as a day that she was going through a lot, but the thought of being in his arms was enough to calm her nerves and soothe her soul.

"I love you," she whispered, looking for his lips with hers.

"I love you more, Y/N."

Heeseung brought their bodies closer. It was a tender moment, full of affection and love, as they shared a deep kiss full of care and adoration.

"So you still want me? Even though I look like this," she foolishly asked, worried he could be less attracted to her after the surgery. Not only that, but she had lost a lot of weight, and she wasn't comfortable in her skin.

Heeseung was instantly alarmed at the comment, well aware of her insecurities. The way she was concerned was the last thing he needed to see right now.

"Don't ever think like that again," he placed his forehead against hers, wanting her to understand how he felt.

"Nothing will ever make me love you less. You've been through this surgery and lost some weight, but have I ever told you how beautiful you still look? How much I still want you?"

"Please tell me," she hiccuped, getting goosebumps when he cupped her cheeks and softly caressed them in his big hands.

Heeseung smirked softly before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"You are incredible to me. Nothing has changed how I feel about you. In fact, I feel that my love for you has multiplied, and I want you more than ever."

He waited for a minute, letting his words sink into her heart.

"You've gone through so much today, and all I want to do is take care of you and help you recover fully..."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, sobbing from receiving so much care and affection. She had gotten used to being alone and not having anyone for so long that she forgot how it felt to be loved.

Heeseung saw how his behavior was having a huge impact on her, and although he was touched by seeing her reaction, he also felt a certain joy in it, since it meant she was letting him into her life. The more she let him in, the more he felt satisfied, seeing how she accepted his protection.

"Let me cuddle you again," he smiled, caressing her hair as he pulled her closer to his body.

"No, make love to me, please," she leaned back, letting him gently hold her close.

"I want you so badly."

Heeseung was a bit taken aback by the suddenness of her demand, but the tone of her voice was tempting and irresistible.

He let his hands crawl down her body until they ended up resting on her hips and butt.

"Are you sure you're feeling good enough to do something like this?" he whispered into her ear, not wanting to do anything that could potentially hurt her.

"As long as you're gentle," she smiled, caressing his face in her palm.

Heeseung let out a low growl as she touched his face, delicate yet sensual, enough to make him harder. The more she touched him, the more he felt his heart racing and his breath speeding up.

He moved in closer, their bodies touching from head to toe as her breath hitched.

"I'm all yours," she whispered.

Heeseung was speechless the moment he heard those words leave her mouth.

It was the most beautiful thing he could ever imagine.

Someone who truly loves him and wants to be with him.

He looked down at her, letting his orbs get lost in hers.

"Do you mean those words?"

She nodded, pressing herself onto his erection.

"My heart only beats for you and you only," she smiled, intertwining her hands with his.

He let out a low gasp upon seeing her take control, feeling some blood hastily flowing to his lower regions.

Her words were like music to his ears, and he kept grinning like an idiot. He was so happy she felt this way about him. He lowered his head, kissing the small space between her shoulder and neck.

"Take off your pants, Hee," she grabbed his belt, trying to take it off.

Her command had him on edge. He was so eager to obey that he didn't waste a second and quickly complied, undoing his leather belt and taking off his trousers as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Seeing him completely naked in front of her made her nervous, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear while looking over to the side.

Why did he have to look so ethereal and luscious?

The moment she averted her gaze to another direction and started playing with her hair, urging him to be even closer. He let out a slow breath and took in her appearance from head to toe.

She always had a way of looking vulnerable yet seductive that made his heart flutter with every heartbeat.

He leaned over, gently laying her back on the bed, getting on top.

She gasped quietly, having him this close making her feel some type of way. Her hand wandered on his neck, pulling him lower to get a taste of his luscious lips one more time.

Heeseung moaned as she tugged him downwards and let her explore his body. It was a feeling that left him with no words.

He let his body rest on hers, making sure she was in a comfortable position as his hands roamed around her flawless body, trailing upwards until they ended up on her breasts.

She hitched once his warm palms held them, cautiously caressing them. Her hands rested upon his, guiding them to cup her breasts a bit more.

His touch was tender and careful, making sure not to hurt her while molding his hands to fit her curves. Her hands encouraged and guided him more, immediately tightening. Nevertheless, he made sure to keep the pressure at a minimum.

The feeling of the heat between their bodies, the sensation of their fingers running over each others' bodies, and the delicate kissing was enough to make his breath pick up pace as he groaned softly.

"You're so beautiful," she breathed out, every bit of oxygen getting cut off in her system whenever he looked at her with that dazzling gaze.

He sensed a deep level of contentment, letting his lips brush against hers. They were warm, and the feeling of her soft body under him left him feeling so excited that his heart would burst.

The fact she even wanted to be with him in that moment made the experience more fulfilling to him, the love only growing with each passing second.

He guided his mouth lower, from her neck to her collarbones, until he had reached her petite breasts, rubbing his face against them. He couldn't get enough of her scent and warmth, kissing and licking her nipples.

The tingling sensation of his tongue made her body shiver, bringing a rush of excitement. Her hands moved upwards to his hair, letting her fingers run through it. She failed to hide her moans, a few escaping, causing a surge of ecstasy to run to her toes, which curled in response. It was quite difficult to maintain her composure.

Her whimpers drove him crazy, glazing her teats tenderly like they were his favorite type of ice cream he couldn't get enough of.

She looked down at Heeseung's erection, grabbing it in her hand. Her fingers wrapped around it gradually, her heart rate racing, mind all over the place. She was lost in passion and had a hard time believing this was happening.

He leaned to her ear, his breath brushing over her after whispering her name. Her touch sent shivers down his spine, but he was also excited at the same time. It's been a while since the last time he had felt the sensation of a woman's touch on him, and he liked it.

She kept guiding her hand, traveling up and down his shaft. He continued twitching in her hand, overstimulated by her touch and existence. She struggled to properly inhale, the intensity of their activities sucking in all the clear oxygen roaming around the room.

Heeseung was going crazy. He was shivering and jolting, all his sensations heightening, and his body was becoming a little sensitive. She didn't have to touch his sensitive area to make him squirm. The way she used her hand to stroke him made any self-control he had left fly out of the window. The pleasure of her touch was overbearing.

"I missed you so much," she confessed, her thumb pressing on the head of his member, causing him to hiss in pleasure.

"I missed you too, Y/N," he whispered, letting a low moan slip out of his lips. She had his full attention. Not even his breath would slip away.

The way she took pride in making him squirm and moan, the way she traced him like a paintbrush across a canvas, made his heart skip a beat, wanting more of her.

He slowly thrust his member into her hand, practically using her to ease his arousal. She guided her palm gently down his shaft, letting him pleasure himself using her body. She kissed his neck, gently biting it. It was fun to care for the dominant one in the relationship.

Heeseung groaned as her lips kissed and nibbled on his neck. The feeling of the kisses left the blood running hot through his veins, sending a rush of heat through, slightly spasming below.

His hands moved down her body, one of them grasping her hips. She groaned as he felt his fingers circling her sacred part, spitting down for easy access inside.

"You shouldn't be doing this," he panted, his index playing with her clit.

"I should be the one pleasuring you," he stopped her from doing anything more, not wanting her to feel as though she needed to compensate him in any way.

His hand moved down to her body, skimming over her skin and body before settling down between her legs. His fingers caressed her folds, sending shivers.

"But I want to," she pouted, attempting to close her legs when his face was inches away from her exposed lower part.

"I know you do, but it's time that I got to return the favor to you," he cupped her thighs, squeezing them gently as he lifted her legs over his shoulders.

She covered her mouth, closing her eyes the minute his tongue brushed over her woman parts, causing her to throw her head back from euphoria.

Heeseung's touch was gentle but firm. He wasn't being forceful, he wasn't being rough, he was merely enjoying the moment of watching her body shake and tremble.

His hand moved lower and lower, his finger tracing your entrance.

His spit slipped inside, alongside his fingers, moving them in and out with ease while licking her clit. He pushed his fingers in more, curling them upwards to hit that sweet spot that would make her moan and groan in pleasure.

"Hee," she panted, drooling over how good she was feeling, tugging his hair since she needed to hold onto something. After all, she was going through cloud nine.

His touch left her gasping for air like a dying woman. She had no choice but to squirm and moan, letting a wave of ecstasy take over. It felt like she was in another world, the feeling extremely intense.

Heeseung's fingers circled and moved inside her, causing her to dissolve. She gritted her teeth, hands forming into fists as the pleasure overstimulated her.

His were moving slowly and methodically, focused on her that the world around him almost didn’t exist anymore.

It was as if the both of them were in their little worlds, enjoying the feeling of being together, their breathings syncing, bodies blending into one blossom. His hands slowly picked up the pace, going slightly quicker while remaining gentle.

"Hee," she called out softly, fighting to contain her lewd sounds, legs shaking slightly as the stimulations were overlapping. She felt like she was going to explode any second.

He knew what you were going through because he could see her expressions rapidly changing with each lick and curl. She was reaching that point where she couldn't hold it in anymore. It made him happy since this was proof that he was capable of pleasuring her to such an extent.

"I love you," she cried from the pleasure, arms crossing over her face to hold it all in. His fingers were quickly moving deeper and faster. He wanted her to experience as much as she could right now.

The words of affection got Heeseung feeling all mushy inside. He wanted to please her, to make her experience everything he could give.

"I-" her mind went blank, turning your head from one side to the other, feeling her climax building up inside. She was so close, and she couldn't hold on anymore. Her hand immediately grabbed his free one, tightly gripping it.

Heeseung didn't stop, speeding up to drive her over that edge.

"Hee-" she called desperately, legs shaking as he kept licking and moving his fingers quicker.

"Relax… Just relax, Y/N… Let go, let go for me," he said, his voice soft but commanding.

Without another minute, her nails dug deeper, her body shaking and tugging rapidly as she reached her climax, completely covering his fingers in her arousal. Heeseung smiled, licking all of her cum from his fingers and entrance, edging her with his kitten licks.

"Fuck," she cursed, overstimulated by everything.

She felt like all the tension had left her body - as if gravity had let go, and she was floating in the air. Her mind was blank, body trembling, breath quick and shaky as the feeling of pleasure was running all through your system.

"Heeseung," she whispered, pulling him closer.

He smiled a little as he moved his hand up to her cheek.

She wrapped her arms and legs around his body, kissing his neck over and over again.

"Please, put it in," she begged, resting in his embrace.

The moment she spoke was almost like music to his ears, and Heeseung knew exactly what you were asking for.

He gently pushed her down onto her back, leaning over with his hand trailing down her shoulder and chest to her neck. He let his other hand move lower slowly to touch her properly.

"Are you ready?", he whispered.

She kissed him, letting her actions speak. Her tongue immediately slid inside, breathing and moaning into his mouth.

He matched her energy, his tongue fighting with hers. He wasn't being gentle, neither was he being a beast. He was allowing the moment to unfold, not rushing it. The wet kisses were leaving them yearning for more.

"I don't want to wait anymore, Hee," she conveyed, wholly resting her body on the bed. Her legs were still wrapped around his waist, putting her arms above her head.

It was her way of letting him know that she was ready. That she needed him, now.

Those words sent his blood boiling, causing his member to twitch and jolt from the feeling of wanting her so badly.

He looked down at her marvelous body, noticing the position she had placed herself in for him - the invitation he saw in her eyes made him go wild.

He leaned down to her, his breath handling her with every word that came out of his mouth.

"Are you sure you can handle me?" he whispered, his voice a little low and husky from the intense moment.

"Stop talking and just do it already," her patience was getting thin, rubbing her lower part against his.

He grinned, unable to hold back the smile on his face after she snapped at him. With his body resting over hers, his hands went to the back of her legs, squeezing them slightly.

He looked into her eyes once more before pushing his body forward, aligning his shaft at her entrance. It wouldn't have been Heeseung if he hadn't teased first, rubbing his member against her slickness. He enjoyed watching her whimper in agony and frustration.

Her mind went blank the more he teased, swept away from his touch. There wasn't one single thought in her mind, merely focusing on this moment.

Her hands gripped his muscular arms, moans getting louder with each moment he rubbed against her beautiful body.

Heeseung's mind was on nothing but giving her satisfaction. Her legs gripped his back, voice becoming more breathy and soft as she wanted him to ease her arousal.

He smiled, and without a warning, he put himself in, his dick sliding inside her smoothly, causing both of them to moan loudly.

Her slippery and hot walls trapped him inside, trying to soothe his tugging and jerking shaft. He groaned, his abdomen drawing in at every push, shaking his head from the vigor of pleasure. She was unreal, her beauty, her body, just all of her.

Heeseung opened his eyes after calming down, his breathing deepening. His lips agonized for hers, huffing his compressed desire and longing into a powerful and passionate kiss. It was the longest one of today, sucking her lips in his mouth, his tongue grazing over, between, or under them continuously. He couldn't get enough, cursing at how unbelievable this was.

Her heart was beating so fast she could feel it in her ears, not believing that this was happening to her right now.

"H-Hees…" she could barely say his name as her voice quivered. He was using one hand to hold her against him, his other moving down to her hand.

"Y/N…" He breathed out, his voice husky and shaky. His thumb rubbed her hand, squeezing it gently to the point she could feel his touch.

The feeling of him being inside was a mix of many things, but the main factor was that it felt right. His body fit like a puzzle inside, like two pieces finally joining together.

She had used this expression before, but there was no better way of describing this bliss. It was too perfect to be true.

She was losing her mind, forgetting to breathe.

“Take a deep breath,” he whispered, the words barely audible from being so lost in the moment.

His hips slowly moved alongside her, their bodies now both thrusting together, absolutely lost in the moment.

All of his thoughts disappeared, the rush for pleasure consuming him. His lips met her shoulder between kisses, his tongue licking along it.

She did as he said, inhaling and exhaling filthy noises, turning him on even more. Her eyes were teary, not because it hurt, but because it felt too good.

“Good girl,” he whispered, caressing her hair.

His hips kept moving, taking longer, his back arching as he did. It took everything in him not to lose himself in the pleasure, to hold back and make sure that this was a long and enjoyable experience for both sides.

"Don't ever leave me again, please," she pleaded, realizing how emotional she was getting with each thrust. The fear inside was climbing over her walls, ready to ambush.

"Never," he vowed, kissing her with such desperation that he couldn't control himself any longer. It was like he was craving more of her.

Her hands held onto his hips, nails digging into his skin for support. Her legs were starting to give up, shaking from the intensity and ecstasy of their lovemaking.

Heeseung noticed her legs, moving his hand down to grip her thigh and hold it up slightly. He knew that he had to make adjustments to take it slower and not wear her out so quickly.

“Heeseung,” she breathed out, watching their bodies moving together with every single thrust. How he slid inside her and pulled away, completely disappearing inside her while hitting her hallowed spot. She threw her back, the image sending goosebumps all over.

He watched her body twitch and shiver, nails digging into his back. His breath was growing shaky, incapable of thinking about anything but being inside of her, enjoying the moment when the two of them were connected completely.

She looked at him through her droopy eyelids, toiling to look straight as he kept pushing himself deeper. Her mouth was drooling slightly, a light string of saliva tracing down her neck. This had to be what they meant by being fucked until your brain was empty.

"I love you," he moaned, his voice shaking and his breath increasing in speed. He could barely keep himself from falling in that moment; he was trying his best to keep a steady rhythm.

Her eyes rolled back, completely deteriorating in his thrusts. The deeper he fucked her, the more her insides quivered.

Heeseung pushed even deeper, his mouth open and his breaths coming out in small puffs of white air.

Her nails left long scratches on his back, losing control over herself.

"I'm here," he whispered against her neck. "I'm not going anywhere." Every word he said had a sense of urgency and determination to it. He was there, in her arms and he wasn't leaving her.

"I love you so much, Hee," she sobbed, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. Her moans occasionally slipped out due to his magical thrusts, becoming one with him.

"I love you too," he said quietly as he raised his other hand to her forehead and gently ran his fingers through her bangs. His hand came down to caress her cheek and he looked directly into her eyes. The passion he felt for her was overwhelming, and he couldn't think of anything at this moment but her and the wonderful moment they were sharing.

Heeseung moved his mouth back to her neck, kissing and nibbling softly. This feeling of belonging and unity between the two of them was just incredible.

His thrusts were longer but at the same time slower, his hand moving down her thigh and moving her legs down to his, he needed more grip for the both of their pleasure.

She bit her lips, eyes shutting at the phenomenal experience, throwing her head back and slightly arching. Her chest started hurting a bit, as their intercourse was getting a bit intense.

"Hey," he breathed, pulling himself out for a moment from your body. "Are you okay?"

It seemed that he caught on to the fact that she was beginning to feel some pain. He moved to the side and looked down at her, his face concerned.

"Sorry, it just," she pointed to the wound, exhaling loudly.

He realized that he made her discomforted. He couldn't stop himself from frowning, his face looking concerned.

"Don't apologize," he said, his voice a little low. "Just tell me what I can do to help relieve the pain, alright?"

"Maybe if we lay on our sides," she proposed, struggling to make herself turn

"That's a good idea," he helped her turn, leaning behind her and putting his arms around to help her stay in that position. His body eased into that position, laying his head behind her, arms holding her, and his chest touching her back.

"That's better," she smiled, breathing a bit easier now.

"I'm sorry for hurting you. I was enjoying the moment so much that I got a little carried away…"

"No, it's ok, I was enjoying it as much as you," she turned her head back a bit, grabbing his hands and putting it on her stomach.

Heeseung's body relaxed after her reassurance, leaning in more to wrap himself around her, the top half of his body covering her while the lower half pushed deeper into her.

She whimpered when he slid back in, squeezing his hands with a resonant sigh. This time, he was slower and more gentle, kissing from her nape all down her spine, leaving a lengthy trace of ardor. His mouth traced slowly down her back, turning his adoration into a sensational experience.

It was different this time because his concerns about her comfort were clambering. He never wanted to hurt her, only aiming to give her pleasure. Hence, he grabbed her leg, putting it over his so he had more space to enter deeper, to hit that spot that sent her through the roof.

As expected, she let out a deep gasp, the sound escaping from her almost involuntarily. Heeseung's tongue traced another slow line down her spine and back up again, savoring her taste.

He caressed her inner thigh, moving his hand back to her chest to play with her teats. His thumb and index grabbed them, twisting them around. He loved her appearance, but her breasts were the real treasure he never got enough of.

Words weren't able to describe how incredible this moment was, how their bodies connected and merged into one blossom of fervor.

His hands trailed up and down, drafting her marvelous curves. His touch felt light and gentle, yet there was still a sense of urgency and power behind it.

"You're so fucking beautiful, it's driving me crazy," he cursed, squeezing her breast.

"You're… you're so perfect," he spat out in between kisses, his body getting comfortable and used to this position. He bit down more forcefully on her neck, his kisses leaving more and more red marks.

"Hold me close, please," she whimpered, looking for his hands on her body.

"I got you," he said, body shifting to fully align with hers, arms gripping her from behind to tighten. He brought his face into her neck, his breathing speeding up with each kiss he gave her.

"Never let go," she sobbed, squeezing his hands with her trembling ones.

"Never, I promise," he pledged, holding her close to his chest.

She could feel his heart beating in time with hers, both sounding like they were about to explode.

"Never," she repeated, praying it was going to become true.

Heeseung kissed her deeply and passionately, pressing his body up against hers.

He was aware of her intonation, the worries raking in her head. Every kiss was stronger, more intense, and hotter than the last as he had to destroy all of them, one by one. His lips moved along her neck, tongue encircling on her neck, licking along it as he left no spot untouched.

She sat up, pushing him back on the bed. Heeseung's eyes widened, his reflexes quickly grabbing her wrists to prevent her from falling back.

She slightly groaned, lowering her head a little to catch her breath.

"Can you also sit up?" she proposed, wanting the two of you to make love while hugging each other.

He did as she asked, lifting himself a bit, leaning his back against the bed as he sat up with his legs spread. His hands held her back, one of his hands moving down to hold her leg as the other rested back on his. His mouth met hers, giving her a long kiss, not letting go of her in any way.

"I wanted to look at you," she voiced as she guided his shaft back inside her, scrunching her face.

"That's fine," he breathed out, his voice hoarse from being in her again, the constant switching driving his member to aggravate.

His eyes looked at her while her body trembled and twitched, his body feeling incredible. It was almost like being high, heavenly, and divine.

"I can feel your heart beating against mine," she smiled, her chest brushing against his, her perky nipples stimulating themselves.

Heeseung's heart beat faster every time she did that, her soft hands tenderly caressing his body, as if it would break in her delicate touch. She went over the muscles of his leg, his stomach, his chest, and eventually his arms. Her touch sent shivers down his spine and made him moan and sigh, realizing just how much she was driving him crazy.

"I missed you so much," she chuckled, masking the pain in her voice by cupping his cheeks.

"I missed you too," he breathed out, his lips locking with yours, making sure to kiss her deeply to show how much she meant to him.

Every kiss and bite seemed to drive a feeling of euphoria through his body, like every time he kissed her, a wave of happiness and satisfaction coursed through.

She closed her eyes when he caressed her back, circling it with a tender push. He made her feel so comfortable and safe, all with just one look, one touch, one kiss.

His kiss was the sweetest thing, his hands and lips exploring every inch of her. He wanted to feel all of her curves and touch every inch of her skin.

Her fingers wandered into his hair as the kiss deepened, huffing into his mouth while gently moving up and down, making both of them feel the most wonderful fractions inside.

He pulled her closer, their bodies wrapped around each other, unable to let go of one another. Their hands rested along each other's sides and their legs slightly entwined underneath.

Heeseung's tongue slid in and out of her mouth, exploring all of the areas he had already tasted before. He licked her upper lip after moving his hands down her hips.

He firmly gripped them, guiding her up and down his cock while he sucked on her neck, leaving trails of hickeys.

His breath warmed her icy skin and his lips kissed and nibbled along. Her body was starting to tremble and shake, his tongue returning to her lips. His kisses were extremely passionate, the ones where she forgot to breathe or think.

She pulled away, staring into his eyes through her lax gaze, mouth slightly agape, lips covered in their saliva. Her brain was empty, not thinking about anything but his presence and being inside her.

It felt like a deer caught in the headlights, clueless and innocent.

Heeseung smirked, watching her stare back but not knowing what to say. She appeared so pure it made him want to kiss her over and over again, fully swallow her in smooches and happiness.

He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her face towards him again, this time gently kissing her neck.

Her wet lips brushed against his neck, quietly puffing and huffing. Her saliva was pooling on his shoulder since she rested her face on it, unintentionally drooling from the sensation.

Neither of them had any intention of stopping, wanting this moment to be eternal. When he saw how much she was enjoying herself, when he felt how aroused she was and how much he was giving her pleasure his lips curled into a satisfied smile.

His hands moved back from her cheeks to her hips again, squeezing her waist. His kisses still moved along her neck, his tongue occasionally nibbling at her collarbone and leaving it slightly red from the small love bites.

She was drunk-dazed from his love and affection, from his kisses and touch, from his presence. One man was enough to wreck your entire world over and gather it up back, and that was Lee Heeseung.

"I love you," he muttered.

Nothing else was on his mind other than how gorgeous she looked, how incredible she felt, and how good it was to see every expression on her face from pleasure to satisfaction.

"Say it again," she murmured into his ear, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You want me to.. say it again?" he asked, his voice a bit playful, yet his smile warm and genuine.

He moved his tongue to the side of her neck, running it from her ear to her collarbone, kissing it softly.

"I love you."

"Again," she smiled, closing her eyes from the exhaustion.

Heeseung chuckled, caressing her cheeks and running his fingers through her hair.

"Hmm, should I?" He teased, his voice mischievous.

"Should I say it again?" His breath and hand fondled her neck with marks.

"Mhm," she nodded, lazily dragging her lips on his neck.

"I love you..." he breathed out, moving his lips down until they reached hers.

"How many times do you want me to say it?"

"Until the day I die," she mumbled, eyelids shut and mouth still drooling, body completely relaxed and leaning against his.

"I love you," he repeated, giving you a light kiss.

"I love you." Another kiss

"I love you." Another one.

"I love you." The last one, slightly rougher than the rest.

"How much, though?" her eyelids open a little, giving him a tired, but extremely seductive look, the one he lost himself in each time.

"Hmm.. let me think," he chuckled, feeling the hotness mounting in himself from her look alone.

"If I could, I would take all of your pain away and replace it with the happiness you deserve. I would give you the whole world just to see you smile in my arms every day. I would give my life to make yours wonderful. I would sacrifice anything just so you can feel safe and loved. "

She whimpered at his words, eyes watering and insides rolling over. Her nails dug into his back again, hiding her flushed, red face in his shoulder.

"I would fight for you and protect you with my life, not allow anyone to hurt you ever again. I would fondle you in love and affection, from the moment you open your eyes till you close them," Heeseung breathed out, her scent intoxicating him.

"S-stop," she whinced in pleasure, eyes rolling back. The more he spoke, the closer she was to cumming, his words messing up her insides.

"You're my world, my life, my home, my reason to breathe every day. I want to take care of you and protect you, make you happy, and keep you warm every single time you feel cold or sad," his breathing shallowed as he spoke, feeling incredibly turned on by her reaction.

"E-enough," she pulled back, throwing her head back. He grabbed her wrists, not allowing her to escape his love.

"Never," he responded, pulling her back into his arms.

"I want to be with you all the time, I want to feel your body against mine, I want to make you feel loved, I want you to be mine and me to be yours until we die."

"S-shut u-up," she stuttered out, knowing she was minutes away from her orgasm.

"Why would I stop? " he asked, moving his thumb over her shoulder, circling and brushing her skin with the slight graze of a nail, leaving little marks on her skin.

He was also close to his climax, so he was more determined to finish the job than ever. His body tightened around her and his kissing became more profound and stronger.

"You need to hear the truth," he hissed in her ear, clasping her buttocks in his hands, pushing her onto his dick.

"H-Heseung, I'm gonna-" she trembled, biting onto his shoulder to keep her loud moans in.

"Don't hold it in," his mouth ran along her shoulder and her arm, the marks getting darker with every kiss.

"Cum with me, please," she pleaded urgently as if her life mattered to it.

"I will, don't worry," he kissed her cheek, caressing her head.

Without another minute, her nails dug deeper, her pussy trapping his shaft in her fully. Her walls spasmed in a periodic pattern, sucking him in. Her clear cum glistened his shaft, wrapping him in its warmth and comfort.

"Good girl," he whispered, his jaw twitching slightly. He wrapped both of his arms tighter and pulled her into a messy kiss.

His release followed up right after, managing to pull out just in time to cover her abdomen in his crystal white load. He panted as his fingers traced his cum on her stomach, spreading it all across her.

His other hand gently laid her down, licking all of his mess off of her, the same way he did with her own.

Perhaps it was the overstimulation he loved to observe on her or the fact that she clung to him more after cumming. Either way, he didn't stop rolling his wet tongue along her body.

"My good girl," Heeseung whispered into her slick hole, pushing his tongue inside to slurp up all of her cum like it was a treat.

Did he love her? Yes.

However, was he a bit of a sadist? Yes.

A low moan escaped his lips as he felt his mouth filled with her cum, his free hand gripping hers tightly.

"H-hee."

He lifted his stare, landing on her adorable one, beseeching him to hug her.

"You look so cute when you’re all tired like this, Y/N," he smirked, a faint peck landing on her cheek. His hand intertwined with her, the other playing with her hair.

Sometimes, the amount of love he harvested for her managed to surprise him, finding himself falling apart in her touch and gaze.

"H-hee," she whispered, closing her eyes. She tried to fight her exhaustion, but it was starting to get to her.

He saw how drowsy she looked, so he pulled her tighter to his body.

"Go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up," he kissed her, his voice very relaxed and comforting.

"You promise?" she murmured, half asleep on his chest.

"I promise," he assured, kissing her forehead and tucking her against him, pressing her body against his.

His hands stayed on her side, keeping her safely in his warm embrace.

"Until the day I die."

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Taglist: @end-hyphen, @hee-pster, @jakeswifeyy, @gegeetime, @heerated, @jayked, @forjongseong, @enhastolemyheart

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! ^^

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@maggstar

#minors: dni #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen smut #heeseung smut #enhypen imagines #enhypen headcanons #enhypen drabbles

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randomshyperson · 1 year

Text

Mess is Mine - Milf!Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Being divorced from Wanda Maximoff implies never getting over her.

Warnings: (+18), language, brief smut, divorced ladies who are very still much in love with each other, unspecified age gap, marriage going wrong, hopeful ending, mild angst, fluff.| Words: 3.949k.

A/N-> There's this divorced couple in a Brazilian soap opera with so much chemistry in their scenes together because of the intimacy gained during marriage (even though that didn't work out) and they won't leave my tik tok ; at some point, my brain thought about this fic. I would love to write more of this trope in the future.

General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad

--//--

Wanda had a persistent migraine, and the pile of work in front of her was not helping.

Still, all her stubborn brain could focus on instead of her real job was the stupid headline of the gossip magazine on her desk.

A cheap and badly angled photo of her ex-wife with colorful captions that read 'The newest business killer couple?" and dozens more insinuations about a secret high-society romance made her stomach churn.

Wanda tried not to be affected by the gossip, but you looked so happy in the photo that she couldn't help it.

The sudden opening of her door made Wanda jump in her seat, in one quick pull close the magazine and sigh with relief when she saw it was only Natasha.

"Why are you here?" Her long-time friend and co-worker asked. Wanda frowned in confusion.

"It's still my company..."

Nat rolled her eyes, walking into the office and taking long strides to her desk. "I meant in here, smarty-pants. The event is starting in an hour, the staff wanted some words of encouragement or something."

Wanda sighed wearily, massaging her forehead with one hand. "Can't you do that for me, Nat? I gotta make some calls."

Nat hummed in agreement, but her gaze caught the closed magazine on the table and she raised a brow at her friend. "One of those calls includes your ex-wife, I suppose."

Wanda chuckled dryly, taking the magazine out to one of the drawers and adjusting herself to reach the desk phone. "There's nothing else for me to say to her."

Her friend hid a smile that said that she didn't believe this one bit. "Okay, whatever you say. See you later, boss."

Wanda waved goodbye, with the phone to her ear. Her immediate instinct was to dial known numbers but she shook her head to push that ridiculous idea away and went back to work.

Several hours after the peak of the event when the company was filled with guests, from potential clients to journalists looking for any news like vultures at the carrion, Wanda was at her second glass of champagne, trying to keep the rest of her patience intact after having answered so many questions for gossip magazines regarding the headline from earlier in the day.

She absolutely did not want to discuss a possible romance between her ex-wife and the heiress of Bishop Industries.

Years before, any of them would have been afraid to question her about something so ridiculous, but that was before you came along. And melted your way into the Business Ice Queen, the untouchable Wanda Maximoff, or whatever insensitive nickname they invented about her back then. Before breaking down all of Wanda's walls, making her a better person, and of course, before you left her.

It was definitely the alcohol's fault that she was thinking about this, and with these stupid tears welling up in her eyes. Wanda swallowed all the emotion, burying it deep and making sure that no one had noticed her broken expression. With an excuse to a group of investors who were boring her into a corner, she retreated to an area far away from the company's outdoor gardens, taking a deep breath to calm herself. The beautiful view of the state lake was most welcome.

So of course the reason for her almost minor breakdown had to show up wearing her favorite suit.

"Are you running away from your guests, Maximoff?" Your tone was casual, the smile provocative. She snorted to herself, crossing her arms and keeping her eyes on the lake. You didn't mind, walking over to her at a slow pace until you were beside her on the edge.

"I just needed some air." She merely replies. With one hand in your pockets, you adjust your own hair, and Wanda hates that she can smell the shampoo, her body betraying her and shuddering as if your scent were addictive.

"You're avoiding me today." You comment lightheartedly, studying her face. "I arrived an hour ago and it took me almost all this time to find you."

Wanda forced a smile, finally facing you back, but her angry look made you hesitate. "I thought your chaperone was keeping you busy."

You glanced back at the party, stealing a quick check on Kate at the food stand, chatting with a blonde girl, before turning your attention back to Wanda.

"I forgot how hot you get when you're jealous."

Wanda huffs away, her cheeks burning which she tries to hide by staring at the lake. "Don't even start." She warns between teeth.

You chuckle, rolling your eyes, but don't insist. You turn your attention to the lake as well. "I wanted to let you know that the boys have already arrived in King Cross. I spoke to them and Charles on the phone."

"I know, Pietro texted me." She retorts more harshly than she meant to and bites the inside of her cheek as she sees you lower your head in upset. With a sigh, she mumbles, "I meant, thanks for letting me know."

You smile, nodding before turning your gaze back to the party. "What do you think of Miss Bishop?"

Wanda locks her jaw; How dare you honestly. A list of curses lays ready on the tip of her tongue, but she remembers where you two are, and takes a deep breath. You were clearly trying for some kind of reaction from her, and she's not going to let you have this victory today.

"She's beautiful." Wanda replies. "As young as you were when I met you."

You chuckle shortly, raising an eyebrow at her. "What are you implying, Maximoff?"

Wanda shrugs her shoulders softly, turning to leave. "You're quite clever, Y/N, I'm sure you follow." She hits back, but you step forward into her path. You are suddenly too close, and Wanda finds herself holding her breath. She needs to take a step back to avoid stopping breathing for good.

Your eyes stare into theirs. "Not that this is any of your business, darling, but my relationship with Kate is strictly professional."

You assure her in a low tone, and Wanda swallows hard as your gaze moves down to her lips for a long moment before focusing on her eyes again. A smile forms on your mouth next. "Besides this, I've always had a thing for older women."

Wanda sighs heavily, using all her mental control to pull away at once. "Go pay attention to your chaperone, Y/N. Especially if she's a potential client."

You roll your eyes at the business tip; you already know them by heart, the vast majority learned from Wanda. And your ex-wife makes mention of leaving, so you slide your hand down her forearm gently, taking some amusement in seeing the way she shivers.

"I wanted to talk to you about something, Wanda." You let her know, with a serious tone but a tender look. The redhead swallows dryly at the closeness of your faces now that you're standing side by side, your hands connected. "Later, after the party, okay?"

"I-I..."

"It's important." You assure her, knowing her hesitation is so as not to break your agreement about relapses. With a gentle expression, you insist, "Please, it won't take more than five minutes."

She licks her lips, and you almost kiss her. Lucky for her she agrees and walks away because God knows you would have done it, right there in that garden for all the New York reporters to have a week's news about.

Without Wanda's perfume around you, you take a deep breath and try to clear your mind, having to wait a few more minutes in the garden for your heart to stop beating so fast.

As the event nears its end and Wanda needs to give a closing speech, you say goodbye to Kate before the parking area. You ignore all the journalists who try to insinuate something about you having taken the girl to the car and exchange a glance with Wanda in the small crowd before moving toward the elevator.

Wanda has always known you so well, and with a nod, she knows exactly where she has to go.

Her work floor is completely deserted as she makes her way to her own office. But she still closes the door as she enters, letting out a tired laugh at your figure sitting on her armchair.

Her smile fades when she sees what you are reading.

"Headlines nowadays are getting creative..." You wryly chuckle, laughing at your ex-wife's caught expression. "It says here that I might have an eye to the Bishop's fortune. How silly, you gave me almost half of yours in the divorce, why would I need more money?"

"Very funny." Wanda dryly retorts, reaching up to snatch the magazine from your hands with a tug, and raking the item into the trash afterward. She crosses her arms as she looks at you. "What did you want to tell me?"

You flashed a small, sideways smile. "You used to be more polite when you wanted to sleep with me. At least offer me a drink."

Wanda chuckled dryly, rolling her eyes and begrudgingly moving to the personal bar in the corner of the room. If she leaned over more than necessary to grab one of the whiskey bottles, aware that the position in the chair gave you a full view of her ass, neither of you said anything about it. She hid her satisfied smile as she heard your breath hitch at the image, and you hid your own reaction as you cleared your throat and looked away.

Shortly thereafter, two shots of whiskey were served on the glass table in front of you. But before the toast, you declared:

"I'm leaving."

Wanda frowned, and when you made mention of taking the glass, she placed her hand on your forearm. "Speak."

You chuckled, staring her in the eyes. "I closed a contract with the Ten Rings folks. They want me in Korea for the next four months."

Wanda lets go of your arm as if she had been burned and steps away from the table with an indecipherable, but very disturbed expression.

"B-but the boys.." She tries to formulate, but you rise from the armchair with a sigh.

"They'll be at school." You retort, even though firm, your gaze is almost pleading. For what, Wanda doesn't have the heart to wonder. "It's not as if they stay with us all the time, Wands. The boarding school takes up this time quite well. It will only be four months, and they've already invented the telephone and internet, you know?" You try to joke, but Wanda hugs her own body and faces you.

"Why are you here, then? You've traveled before."

"Not for that long." You say, taking steps toward her, and mentally thanking heavens that she doesn't pull away. "And not... not since we made the divorce official."

"Y/N..."

"I know, I know." You murmur with a sad smile, raising your hands to her arms uncovered by her dress. "Maybe it's stupid, but I wanted to make sure we're okay. That it won't be something...I don't know, that hurts us."

"More than a divorce? I find that difficult." She replies with restrained emotion in her husky voice. You sigh.

"Wanda..."

"No, you're right. It was stupid." She cuts off, pulling away so you don't see the tears welling up in her eyes. "Of course it's okay. But I appreciate that you respect the concept of shared custody. I imagine the kids already know?"

"Yes, I told them before I took them to the airport." You mutter upset, watching Wanda walk away to the window. "But Wands, I wanted to tell you in person..."

"And why is that, huh?" she retorts with an impatience that makes you flinch. And for this, Wanda loses it for good. "You know, I don't understand you! You left me! You filed for divorce, you wanted to break us up. But you keep showing up here, and at home, and everywhere, and now you want to come here and say you care-"

"I care, Wa-"

"Then why did you leave me?" she shouts back, almost regretting it when she sees the tears in your eyes. You laugh tearfully, shaking your head.

"We've had this conversation dozens of times, Wan." You say, much calmer than she is. "But you just can't accept that you're wrong, can you?"

"Right, I forgot that I'm the villain in your story." She sneers, wiping her face with the back of her hand. You give another sad laugh.

"I wish it were that simple, darling." You tell her, taking slow steps toward her. "If you were just the villain, the bad wife, the evil boss, everything would be easier. I could hate you, curse your names to all my friends, and spend all the divorce money on expensive, empty things out there, but it's not like that. You forget the part that I love you and tried to fight for us until the last second."

Wanda sobs quietly, looking down at the floor, "Don't do that, Y/N."

"But it's true, baby, you know. I'm not the one who broke any promises, Wands. I just got tired of begging for crumbs of attention from the person who swore to spend the rest of her days with me."

Wanda lifts her chin, and the determination in her gaze doesn't do justice to the tears. "You knew how much my career meant when you said yes."

You smile sadly, taking one last step to get close enough to hold her face. Wanda shudders as you wipe away her tears, as you have done so many times before, as if no time has passed and everything was fine.

"I am so proud of you, Wands, for all you have accomplished with your work. I only wish I had been as important as this building."

You place a long kiss on her forehead, pulling away afterward. You offer her one last sad smile before closing the door on your way out. Wanda starts to cry as soon as you have done so, even though she tries very hard to keep her tears away.

–//–

You burned a pancake to answer the door, but all the irritation over the ruined dish vanished when you saw Wanda standing in front of you.

It had only been a few days since you had last seen her, and now all the furniture in your apartment was already packed away and covered with rags, prepared for the time you would be away. Wanda's party dress gave way to a casual suit that made you swallow dryly and become self-conscious of the sweatpants and sports top you were wearing. Wanda wouldn't have picked anything better.

"Are you going to let me in, detka?" Wanda asked with some teasing for your moment of shock. You immediately recovered, making room for her to enter and closing the door once she was in the hall. "Sorry for disturbing your breakfast. I wanted to see you before your flight."

"Oh, don't worry about it. And I'm not going until the afternoon." You clarified somewhat clumsily by her presence, one hand still holding a spatula and the other adjusting your hair. "I made pancakes if you'd like..."

"I would love it." Wanda assured with a smile that made your stomach twist. It wasn't fair that your ex-wife got more beautiful every time you looked at her, honestly.

Wanda followed you back into the kitchen, and to both your surprise, you fell into a light conversation about work and the boys while preparing and serving food, completely different from the tone of the conversation the last time you had seen each other.

But it was a time bomb, of course, so you weren't surprised when Wanda suddenly bit her lip, assuming a more tense posture.

Finishing chewing your pancakes, you asked:

"Why are you here, sweetheart?"

Wanda raised her eyes to you, and you stared back at her, patiently for her to clarify.

"I wanted to say goodbye to you properly." She said, spinning her own stool around first before tipping her hands around yours to spin you toward her. You raise a brow in curiosity, but the question of what she was doing dies in your throat as she leans in and brings your lips together.

It has been exactly three months, eighteen days, and sixteen hours since you last kissed Wanda, and you only realize how much you missed the feeling when she does it again. It's as intoxicating as it is overwhelming, and you gasp into her lips, breaking the kiss at once as you stand up, taking good steps away from the countertop.

"Wanda, we talked about this." You remind her in a husky voice, pressing a hand over your face. It's ridiculous how much your skin is burning and your heart is racing for something that lasted less than three seconds. "No relapses. You promised-"

"It's not a relapse." She assured, reaching up and grabbing your hands to place them around her waist. You grunted at the sensation, closing your eyes as Wanda slipped hers over your shoulders, too close for you to think about anything other than her. "It's a parting gift. So you'll have a reason to come back."

"W-what...?"

Wanda presses closer and brings her mouth to your ear. "Just stop overthinking it and accept the gift, detka."

With encouragement, she bites the lobe of your ear, and you give up resisting.

With a tug on her waist, you bring your mouths together in a kiss much hungrier and more passionate than the first, which elicits loud, almost primal moans of need from both of you. Wanda pushes and pulls, and by the time you stumble to the back of the living room couch, your pants are already open and there's nothing covering your torso; much like the woman in front of you, who as soon as she throws you sitting up against the cushions, your breathing out of rhythm and your lips swollen from kissing hard, makes a show of removing the rest of her clothes.

She has time to smile mischievously at your look of pure adoration at her completely naked body in front of you before you pull her onto your lap by her thighs. Wanda climbs on you with a needy grunt, burning from the inside out in anticipation for you to touch her again.

Your touches are almost desperate, your kisses mark her skin. It is your gift, but you also seem determined to make sure that Wanda has the memory of this morning for quite some time.

When your mouth closes around her nipples, she whimpers to the ceiling, arching her back and steadying her hands in your hair, a soft plea that you not stop.

"Yes, baby, just like that." She encourages over the stimulation on her nipples, breaking into an excited whimper when you simply use your free hand to masturbate her. At any other time, you would have taken your time to work her up until she was begging for your touch, but now, in the urgency you two were sharing, it wasn't necessary. She was ready for you.

Your fingers penetrate her without delay, and Wanda digs her nails into your shoulder, breaking into a breathless moan. You give one last hickey on her hardened nipple before you move your face back up to hers, kissing her with intensity as your fingers dance inside her walls with the mastery of one who has done this a dozen times, one who knows her like the palm of the hand she so deliberately grinds against in the intention of relieving herself.

"G-god, detka! Right here!" She breaks the kiss into an affected moan, practically meowing as you repeatedly hit that sensitive spot inside her. The wetness grows in your palm, Wanda oozes into you, and to help her, you bring your free hand to her hip, coordinating her movements as she begins to fail. "I-I'm going to..."

"Don't talk, show." You interrupt her with a proud little smile, moving your mouth down to bite the sensitive spots on her neck. "Come to me, baby, I've got you."

That's all she needs to reach the first climax of the morning, and she is not surprised that you don't stop at the first. Or the second, or the third.

You are on your knees on the living room floor when your first alarm goes off. Breathing as out of breath as Wanda, on the couch with her torso exposed and her legs spread from which you against your will need to remove your face to turn off the alarm when you pull away.

She covers herself when you disappear to the kitchen because she knows it's because of the flight, and when you return, the cell phone goes on the coffee table and you sit on the floor next to her on the couch.

There is a long silent pause, where only your breaths can be heard. Wanda skirts a hickey on her own thigh and you sigh.

"We shouldn't have..." But you can't complete, it because your voice fails you as if you are going to start crying. You look away, and Wanda lets herself fall to your side on the floor, where she reaches for your hand.

"Detka, look at me." She asks, and you have to wait a moment until you sniffle and do so with difficulty.

"I told you it hurts me, Wands. I can't-" You take a deep breath. "I can't heal if this keeps happening. There’s no getting over you if we keep doing this”

She shakes her head. "I don't want you to get over me." She says and you huff, trying to pull her hand away, but Wanda squeezes. "I love you, you know I do."

"Love is not enough." You retort bitterly, your eyes filled with tears. "Loving me doesn't mean you won't hurt me. Nor that you won't ignore me. Those are just words, Wanda. I haven't felt loved by you in a long time."

She releases your hand from the shock of your words, and watches you create a physical distance between you as you walk away. You slip away to the bedroom, muttering that you need to get ready for the flight, and she tries to make a decision the whole time you are in the shower.

When you return to the room, wearing a set of travel clothes, Wanda is wearing your sweatpants and her own dress shirt. Your chest aches to see her wearing your clothes again.

"Wanda, you'd better go, my flight-"

"I love you, detka." She cuts you off with eyes bright with determination as she stares at you. You swallow dry, but can't resist when Wanda reaches up to touch your face. "I will make sure you know it. You'll know it so deeply that you'll be able to feel it in your bones. And you'll never doubt it again."

You sniffle lightly. "Wanda..."

"Don't worry about it now, detka." She interrupts you more gently, caressing your face. "Have a great trip. I'll be here when you come back home."

You sigh, and Wanda doesn't let you say anything more, kissing you in a calmer, but somehow much more intense way than before.

She leaves the apartment before you, with a wink and a request that you call the boys before and after the flight.

And even before she gets to the first floor, Wanda has already texted Natasha about her early retirement procedure after her well-deserved family vacation.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda maximoff oneshots #marvel imagines

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yanderes-galore · 1 month

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May I request yandere Gojo Satoru with Civillian! Darling? Thank you for your hard work! ^^

I can try, sure! First time writing Gojo and things may be off as I'm not that far into the series yet (I got distracted by other series... oops-). Hope you enjoy though :)

Yandere! Satoru Gojo with Civilian! Darling

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Stalking, Clingy behavior mentioned, Fear of loss, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Gojo most likely wouldn't get involved with civilians often.

He constantly surrounds himself with Jujutsu Sorcerers and strength.

He doesn't typically stick around the weak often.

However... Gojo may like someone who doesn't always expect something from him as a Sorcerer all the time.

Gojo is a complex character with all sorts of emotions.

Yet, I feel Gojo would never show his true emotions to a civilian darling.

He can't fully relate to you, always having high expectations and strength ever since he was young.

The closest one he could relate to was Geto.

Gojo is a very lonely person due to being unable to make close emotional connections... even with allies.

He doesn't like people close to him.

Which is why it's odd when Gojo shows such an interest in a mere civilian.

He's a man who has seen and faced death, one who feels the world is being held up by him.

Yet you are someone completely unaware of the dangers of Curses... so devoid of the stresses he has.

Gojo can't relate to you but he feels a need for you.

It's not like he can train you or teach you about Curses... you don't have it in you.

Yet there's something about the way you speak to him in such a casual manner that drives him... crazy?

He no doubt met you by chance, buying something for his students before coming across you.

Gojo would probably feel a need to protect a civilian darling.

You're so oblivious... conversing with him as though he's just another person on the street.

Gojo has the usual goofy personality, coming off as playful with you.

Your laugh sounds heavenly and you just seem so...

Vulnerable.

The thought actually hurts him a bit.

Vulnerability... something he despises.

Vulnerability is a curse he used to endure... back when...

Gojo tries not to think of such a thought when speaking with you.

It would take time for Gojo to get used to you.

What disturbs him is how easy you could be harmed.

He's scared to get close to you as you could be targeted.

He doesn't want to lose anyone else...

Yet he can't keep himself away from you.

Fighting his obsession and logical thinking, Gojo may eventually come to one conclusion.

If he can't part from you... and he doesn't want you hurt... he will just keep you from leaving his sight.

This leaves to Gojo stalking you, always seeming near you, and perhaps even appearing clingy at times.

It's hard to get Gojo attached in the first place, if you do then he's intense.

This is the reason he didn't want to be close.

He was scared to get attached and lose you.

But... can't fix that now, right?

The good thing is Gojo will keep you safe, right?

He's untouchable by most... so if you were threatened he could easily defend you.

Associating with such a man is a dangerous game.

You poor thing did it without trying.

Now Gojo doesn't plan to leave you alone, you're in too deep.

He'll be your friend, or something more depending on how you feel about him...

Most importantly he'll be a guardian... your protector...

He won't mess up protecting the one he cares about this time.

#yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere satoru gojo #yandere gojo

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sillylittleguytm · 3 months

Text

Hide Us in Shadow

Cardinal Copia x gn!reader

Warnings: Mentions of people getting up to filth in the confessional

Word Count: 696

Love from Your Papas Day 5: Hidden Kisses with Copia

Comfortable silence lays over the ministry halls like a blanket, the space uninhabited and illuminated by moonlight. The ministry is a beautiful place, and that beauty is only enhanced by the light of the moon pouring into the stained glass windows– it’s calm and serene when there isn’t a stream of people carrying out their duties throughout the day.

The silence is suddenly cut through by the faint sound of careful steps on the tile. It's times like this that you curse the spacious, echoey hallways. You didn't typically go out past curfew, but the instances have become more and more common since you've become involved with the Cardinal. The blossoming romance isn't exactly forbidden, but you'd like it to develop more privately before it becomes a public thing. So, naturally, you both decide to be dramatic about it and sneak around to see each other. It makes things far more thrilling and fun.

You soon make it through the ministry and outside to the garden, your designated meeting spot. You arrive just a couple minutes late and find Copia sitting on a stone bench. His smile brightens at the sight of you and he moves over to give you room to sit. His hands fidget nervously.

Sitting down next to Copia on the bench, you take his hand and give it a comforting squeeze. While he enjoys sneaking around with you, it stresses him out to no end. But it's hard to worry about that when you're by his side. All other cares go out the window when he has you in mind.

“I'm glad you made it. I was starting to worry that Sister had found you.” Copia says, keeping his voice low. “I would hate for you to be put on laundry duty on my behalf.”

“I think you're well worth any punishment she could dish out.” You assure him. “Except maybe cleaning out the confessional. I don't even want to think about the messes people leave in there.”

Copia laughs at this and leans in close. He looks at you for a moment, wanting to kiss you but hesitating to initiate it. The relationship is new and the last thing he wants is to take things too far and make you uncomfortable. But you simply laugh and lean in the rest of the way, kissing him softly. He makes a happy noise against your lips. His hand slides up your back and rests on the back of your head.

Suddenly, you hear rustling in a nearby bush. You both quickly part in a panic, looking around for the source of the noise. You calm when you see that it's just a stray cat pouncing at a meal near the bushes. Copia visibly relaxes when he realizes they haven't been discovered. He places another short kiss on your lips, only to pull you in for another right when the previous one ends. You grin against his lips as the kisses continue. He peppers them all across your cheeks, forehead, nose, and lips. Not an inch of your face is left untouched.

“Someone missed me today.” You tease with a giggle. Copia doesn't argue– he most certainly did miss you. Seeing you at night is the highlight of his day. He doesn't have to worry about paperwork or deadlines. All he had to worry about was Sister’s wearabouts and when he would next be able to see you like this.

“I don't think we should hide this any longer, topolino.” Copia whispers, his mouth just short of colliding with yours once again.

“I agree. I want people to see us and know that we're together.” You breathe, glancing down at his lips. Unable to resist the temptation, you bring him into another kiss, wrapping yourself around him, immersing yourself in him. You're in somewhat of a trance, completely mesmerized by how his lips feel against yours.

“Having fun, are we?”

You jump back yet again and are met with a very smug looking Sister Imperator. Both of you are sheepish and worrying over what chore you both would be tasked with for being out past curfew.

Please not the confessional, anything but the confessional…

#ghost band #the band ghost #ghost bc #ghost #papa emeritus x reader #cardinal copia #cardinal copia x reader

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leathfaic · 7 months

Text

Soap and Ghost have been a thing for a while, spending their leaves together whenever possible, holed up at Soap's place for the most part, only ever in Manchester when Ghost wants to visit his families graves and they don't want to drive back up that day.

When the call comes that there's been damage to his flat Soap has to leave alone, Simon is out on one of the solo missions they love to send him on. So all Johnny can really do is leave a scribbled note on his bed that he's home sorting trouble with the flat.

A few days later Ghost returns, a bit miffed when he doesn't find Johnny waiting for him on the tarmac or in his barracks. Price brings him up to speed though and the letter explains the rest.

Soap is surprised when he opens the door to Simon in his civilian clothes, hadn't even gotten a text saying he's back, "What are ye doing here ye bampot? Dinnae get ma note that the whole flat is a mouldy mess?"

"Though' you'd appreciate some help." Simon just shrugs looking a little forlorn on the doorstep, suddenly not sure if showing up uninvited was the right move.

Soap grabs his man and pulls him into the flat before the huge fucker can decide to bugger off with his feelings all hurt.

"Ah'd love yer help, juist didnae expect ye to want to spend yer time in ma mouldy paradise after juist returning from a mission. Dinnae exactly haeve amenities exactly, yeah?"

He really doesn't. The flat is a fucking disaster, the one above had a pipe burst while the inhabitants were on vacation, water leaking unchecked for days, it's a bloody miracle that the building is still statically sound. But all the moisture seeped in to the flat below. And when anyone thought of informing him for possible damages it was too late. There's barely a room left untouched. Soap's been sleeping in a nearby hotel, going through his belongings saving what can be saved before calling in professionals to clean out the mold.

There's no way he'll give up the flat, they both know that, it was his grandmother's before, getting passed on to him when she moved to a retirement home. It's where Johnny grew up, his nan taking him in when his parents gave up on him.

So Ghost helps Soap sort out the mess, save what they can save, which luckily includes a lot of priced memories, but they know that pretty much all furniture is a loss. Floors, walls and ceilings will have to be redone too. Be that as it may they spend the rest of the day to also takeling care of the other reasons Soap can't just let a crew of cleaners walk in too. All traces of him being anything but a normal soldier carefully erased, packed up, hidden.

When they crash at the hotel late at night Johnny is still restless, the way he gets when some bug mission is about to start.

"Didn't know furniture shopping for your fla' would get you tha' riled up, sweetheart."

It's meant as harmless teasing, of making Johnny focus his energy on him and getting it out.

Instead the other man seems to dial it up, is not just squirming but also biting his lips now.

Fuck, he hasn't seen him like that unless whatever is about to go off is deadly serious.

So when Soap turns to him Simon stills, waits for the catastrophe that clearly is about to happen. For everything to come crumbling down around them, because that's how his life tends to go.

Instead, with the smallest voice he's ever heard on the man, Johnny makes his world fall into place like it never has before.

"What if we were nae getting stuff for ma place but rather, ye ken our place?

Our place.

It's rare that anything manages to make Ghost freeze anymore. But this? This does it.

He only shakes himself out of it when he sees panic and regret well up in Soap's eyes, can't have that after all. Mouth still not willing to obey his command he drags the other man into a crushing embrace, burying his face in the shower-damn mohawk.

"I think I'd like tha'." he mumbles eventually, his voice all weird and off, gruff from fighting the all the emotion but soft from the love that punches itself clean through all his defenses.

In his arms Soap drains of all tension. Mission accomplished no reason to be nervous now.

He falls asleep in Simons arms like that, deep breaths softly caressing his chest.

Ghost lies awake, his heart pounding a steady rhythm of excitement now.

He's going to go shopping with Soap tomorrow.

For their place. For their home.

Wild joy mixes with perfidious apprehension, parts of his brain refusing that this will really happen, convinced that Soap will wake up, having thought better of it.

That home is a concept lost to him. He is the Ghost for a reason after all.

He doesn't get a wink of sleep. His mocking of Soaps nerves ringing hollow in his ears.

Instead he braces himself, ready to meet the rejection head on, not let it show on his face, makes himself cold as ice.

"Ye look like we're heading to war not to keek at stuff for our home, love."

The armor of ice built meticulously over sleepless hours melts all at once.

"You really sure you want to share a 'ome with me Johnny?"

"Yeah Simon Riley, ye big daftie, think Ah'd nearly piss ma pants and ask ye, just to pull a fast one?"

For the second time in as many days Ghost shrugs helplessly, no defense of his a match for the things Soap makes him feel.

The man knows him too bloody well too, drags him out of the hotel room and gets them going. Let's actions speak over words. A language that works far better for Simon.

Who finds himself in store after store full of furniture, wallpapers and stuff where he comes to find that maybe he is not equipped to handle this.

Part 2

#Part 1 of probably 2 #Check back in for fully trained sas soldiers getting emotionally lost in ikea #ghostsoap #soapghost #simon ghost riley #cod mwii #john soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #cod mw2 #cod #ghoap #cod hc

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blissqful · 9 months

Text

ALPHABET HEADCANONS

Gwen Stacy

Pairing - Gwen Stacy x GN Reader !

Proofread ? NO

Join the tag list here !

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Initially, Gwen wasn’t too fond of physical touch let alone PDA. Being in a relationship was a new concept to her, sure she's had some crushes here and there and flirted a few times, but this ground for her was completely untouched. You had been the one to initiate anything most of the time, Gwen lives in her self-doubt, she would never want to make a move on you and have you be uncomfortable.

B = Beginning (How would the relationship start?)

Gwen was hesitant about getting into a relationship, she didn't want to lose someone who meant so much to her again. When she finally got around to asking you out, she invited you over to her place, sneaking off to the rooftop. As you watched the sunset together, she would steal a couple of glances at you, occasionally grazing her hand over yours. She’d end your date hangout by confessing all her feelings for you, not being able to fully form words, anxiety had taken over her, leaving her at a loss for words as she roamed her eyes over you, taking in your beauty.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

She loves to cuddle with you, for her it's comforting, being in your arms makes her feel safe knowing she can trust you and that you’re hers. She will trap you in her arms any chance she gets, she pulls your leg over her waist, nuzzling her head in-between the crook of your neck, hands tangled in your hair.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Gwen dreams of settling down with you somewhere in the countryside, living on a cute little ranch. The thought of being with you forever, having you all for herself, she’s completely in love and I mean WHIPPED. But of course, we all know Gwen definitely probably can’t cook, although she tries her best for you, the poor girl can’t help but give in to her roots. She definitely enjoys helping you out in the kitchen though, or simply just watching you with her big heart eyes. On the bright side, Gwen isn’t terrible at cleaning, she frequently tries her best to clean her room before she invites you over, if she’d let you in to her room in the state it usually always is, she’d pass away out of embarrassment. She insists that her room just messes itself up, I mean is it really her fault everything just falls out of place?

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If it came down to ending the relationship, she’d put her life into, she’d rather do it peacefully over arguing. This is Gwen’s worst fear, she wouldn’t even dare think about having to let you go, she just loves you too much to ever do so. Unfortunately, most breakups are inevitable, if yours is, it’s most likely because of her obligation as spider woman. She doesn’t want to hurt you, it absolutely pains her to do so, breaking up with you would be Gwen’s last resort to keeping you safe.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

A commitment like this would typically terrify Gwen, if it didn’t mean committing to you, of course. Gwen would be eager to make you hers forever, although it would take her a while to get to the point of actually doing so.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

At first, Gwen is her usual stoic self, she doesn’t open up to you much. As you spend more time together, she learns to trust again, letting you hold her as you listen to all her worries. After a long day of patrolling, she longs to be in your presence again. And when she finally is, she never leaves your side. Her touch is slow and gentle, hands tracing patterns into your skin, whenever Gwen holds you like this, she gets lost in cloud 9. The world seems to stop in moments like this, all her worries and stress fading away. She isn’t a very emotional person, or at least she prefers not to be, she usually puts her feelings aside out of habit, not wanting to be a burden. But when you encourage her to let her feelings out, the walls she’d put up for herself crumble as she pours her feelings out to you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Absolutely loovess your hugs, always making sure you have your arms around her whenever she can. She insists on laying on top of you whenever you’re hanging out in your room. Whenever she gives you hugs of her own, she likes them to last long, not wanting to have you out of her arms so soon. Gwen prefers to give you back hugs or hug your waist (the hand placement is insane) just to tease you, your reaction is always the same, but she just finds it amusing every single time.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Gwen is hesitant to say tell you how much she loves you, even though she’d be the first one to say the big l-word. It’s taken her a few months to warm up to you, when she finally says it, it’s totally on accident, it just slips out while she’s letting her thoughts out. She’s immediately embarrassed and starts apologizing, until you’d calm her down and reassure her that you love her too. She’d eventually start saying it more often, confident that you’d feel the same way.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

She doesn’t get overly jealous, but there are some instances where she feels you’ve found someone better than her, no amount of reassurance could get rid of these thoughts. Losing the people, she’d loved so much has become something she just had to accept and doing so with you would be completely disheartening for her. Whenever she thinks someone’s getting too friendly with you, she either tells them off or simply pulls you closer to her, you rarely ignore her behavior, cutting the conversation short to give her the rest of your attention. If you don’t pick up on this, she’ll ask you to keep your distance from them while keeping a pout on her face.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

She likes to kiss you slowly, savoring the moment. She doesn't like to rush things with you, as the rest of her life is always rushed, she gets to put that past her with you. Gwen likes to kiss every part of you, she typically goes for your neck while your oblivious to her sneaking up on you. She steals small kisses from you, scattering a few across your face. Gwen has no preference for when you kiss her, she always feels blissful while receiving affection from you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Gwen insists that she dislikes them, although she finds herself thinking about raising a couple with you quite often. Of course, she’d never admit it unless you’d expressed your desire to do so. She can’t help but enjoy herself when she gets caught up while engaging in their fantasies.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Your first morning together, was spent the night after you’d reciprocated love for Gwen. You were greeted by Gwen, grinning down at you, scattering small kisses across your face while holding you close, she’d refuse to let you go after having you enclosed in her arms, wanting to cherish this forever.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Your nights spent together are usually after Gwen had finished her patrolling, crawling in through your window, preferring to stay with you rather than going back to her father, who’d usually stay up late to investigate his daughter about where she’d run off too. If she’d come back to injured, immediately, you’d run off to fetch your first aid kid you’d keep around just for her. She would refuse, insisting she was fine even when she clearly, was not. Making a few sarcastic remarks along the way, she’d express her gratitude both verbally and physically, keeping you by her side the rest of the night, enveloping you in her arms.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

When Gwen got to the point of being able to trust you enough that she’d be able to rant to you, she’d probably never be ready to tell you about her hidden identity, spider woman, better known as Ghost Spider. You’d suspected she was hiding something from you, leaving randomly during the night, not answering your calls or texts, it left you wondering, most of all, worried. This behavior had been ongoing before you’d even had the chance to think about committing to a relationship with her, it bothered you, so, you decided to confront her about it.

Gwen couldn't bear the guilt of not telling you the truth about her, she felt you deserved to know who she truly was, and obviously, if she wanted this to work out, she had to be open with you. She’d sit you down and try her best to calmly explain, she was insanely nervous, she was terrified of you leaving her when you’d find out, she isn’t exactly, praised for what she does.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Gwen’s always been extremely patient with you, not wanting to mess things up, she’d calmly try to de-escalate the situation. If you’ve been pushing her buttons, she’ll be quick to shut you down. She’ll never want to get to the point of having to argue, let alone yell.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

She’d never forget anything you’ve told her, sometimes, she’d pretend to do so, in hopes of not seeming obsessed, which she totally is. If you complained to her, she'd try her best to resolve the issue for you.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

She couldn’t possibly choose one moment; she loves all the moments she’s with you. The moments she moats enjoys though, are the ones where she’s able to completely forget about her worries, she seems to do this whenever she’s in your presence. However, the ones where she’d only be able to think about you no matter how much she’d tried not too (she never did), the moments she’d felt like she was in a dream. She’ll hold on to those forever.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Gwen would be mortified if even the slightest misstep had resulted in discarding your safety. She’d do anything and everything she can to keep you safe, if anything were to happen to you, she’d always blame herself for it.

Gwen already feels safe when she’s with you, especially when she’s in your arms. You never fail to comfort her, she’d never felt uncomfortable or unwelcome with you, you’d always make her feel protected.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Gwen does everything in her power to make your dates the best, since she usually has to either ditch or completely miss your dates due to her duties. She’d desperately make it all up to you, her favorite dates are when she takes you out in the evenings to go sight-seeing around the city.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Gwen’s habits are a just the effectives of her stress, she usually bites her nails and picks at her skin. Leaving scars and usually drawing blood, you’d always try and find ways to help her out, but she’d always give in to her habits.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

She isn’t typically self-conscious, but ever since you’d shown interest in her. She’d find herself worrying about her outfits or how her hair looked that day. She’d pick herself apart, trying to find ways to improve her look, desperately wanting to impress you.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?

Gwen counts down the minutes to when she finally has the chance to see you again, dreading every second she’s not with you. When she’d finally see you again, her face would immediately light up, running up to you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

She has godly hand placement, likes to wrap her arms around your lower waist, whenever she’s hugging you, walking, whatever.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

She hates overly strong perfume; it makes her nauseous. She wouldn’t be too picky about what her partner should my do, what she really hates is lying, especially about where you’ve been.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Gwen snores, a lot. Refuses to admit it, you’d tease her frequently about it, she’d be very defensive. But it’s definitely true. She also sleeps with her stuffed animals, mostly the ones you’ve given her, it helps comfort her at night when you aren’t with her.

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moni-logues · 9 months

Text

Kintsugi 6

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non-idol!au, angst, smut, tiny bit of eventual fluff

Summary: In a fit of spiteful, post-break-up self-improvement, you sign up to a baking class. Yoongi, in a bid to appease his demanding girlfriend, signs up, too. Determined to make him your friend, you end up with more than you ever imagined.

Word count: 6.4k

Content: more crying, lots of crying, protected sex, semi-public sex/sex in a public place, casual talk of suicide as usj

A/N: thanks to Lia @quarter-life-crisis2 for beta-ing!

Chapter Five | Masterlist | Chapter Seven

Chapter Six - Yoongi, after all

You were at the beach. God knew why. Yoongi had insisted.

You had fallen asleep there, on your sofa, you enveloped by him, him covering you. His breath warm and soft against your skin, his arms secure around you. You had eventually stopped crying, your ragged breath turning smooth, turning deep and slow as you let sleep overtake you. The untouched bowl of food sat still on the coffee table; your cycling shorts, a box of bandages, a pair of scissors lay, piled on the side of the kitchen counter. A small mess. A big mess.

You had both woken early when the sunlight had streamed in through your uncovered windows. It had been awkward and you had wanted him to leave so you could cry into your pillows and rot into your sofa in peace. You had wanted him to leave so you wouldn’t have had to see him seeing you, in all your most debased, pathetic reality. He had been insistent, feverish nearly, almost demanding when he had said you should go out. Why he had picked the beach, you had no idea. It had seemed to come from nowhere, but you hadn’t had the energy to argue, so there you were. At the beach.

The seagulls squawked and the waves roared as they always did. It was quiet for the time being. It was still early. You and Yoongi had risen with the sun and been stepping in sand before you would usually even be waking on a Saturday. Most of the beach-comers hadn’t come yet but they would and they would fill the air with raucous revelry when they did.

It was silent between the two of you. It had been silent while Yoongi drove, too. When you had arrived, he had asked if you wanted a drink, an ice-cream, breakfast. You had refused all. You didn’t want anything but to walk into the sea and not walk out again.

It wasn’t often that you were this quiet, that you let the silence go on, thicken, and cover you like fog. You could feel it around you, more than just mist. You always thought of Winnie the Pooh at moments like this: ‘I’m just a little black raincloud’. Of course, the circumstances were wildly different, so different that, if you were able to, you’d have found the comparison funny. You weren’t looking for honey. There wasn’t any to be had. You were just a raincloud, raining on everyone’s parade. You were just a raincloud, thick and dark and heavy with water. Drowning in it.

Yoongi was angry. He hid his face behind sunglasses but you didn’t need to look at him to know. You could feel it. His silence was different today, too; it had grown claws.

“You’re angry with me,” you said. Not a question.

“No.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m not angry with you.”

You sighed. He could have it his way. If he didn't want to talk then fi-

“I’m fucking devastated.”

You turned to him but he kept staring forward, straight at the sea.

“What?”

“You know I thought you were dead when I first came into your apartment? I get it; it’s not like I haven’t been there. But I thought you were fucking dead.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not dead,” you offered, at a loss for anything else.

“Yeah, I see that.”

“You are still angry though.”

“I bought you those fucking knives. If you had killed yourself, it would have been my fault.” There was venom in his voice, vitriol, more than just anger and you couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“No, it wouldn’t. I’d have found a way if I really wanted to.”

“But I didn’t need to make it easier for you.”

He was angry with himself. You hadn’t expected that. You hadn’t thought you could sink any lower, but you’d managed to. You’d hurt him. You were so worried about being hurt yourself that you hadn’t considered it, hadn’t considered him. He was beating himself up about something that was all you. He felt responsible for you, for what you’d done. You’d implicated him in it. You’d hurt him and he was angry and, in his own words, ‘fucking devastated’. You had done that. But he was sitting next to you on the beach still. He was holding your hand because you needed a tether, something to keep you on earth. He was there, despite everything you’d done.

You had been hitting your head against the brick wall of thinking about Sungbin, of trying not to and failing. You had left your phone somewhere in your apartment so you had no way of knowing if he’d tried to contact you—no way of being disappointed and hurt all over again that he hadn’t. Because why would he? You wouldn’t have, if you were him. As you were bashing your head bloody, so was Yoongi. Bashing his head against the wall that said he had done this to you. That this was his fault, that he was somehow to blame for something you had done to yourself.

You had, for hours, been successfully holding back tears. You took a deep breath and it shuddered in, wobbled out again. You lay back, straight onto the sand, and let the tears leak down into your hair. You covered your eyes with your hands and bit your lip and took a few more juddering breaths. Then you just let it happen. You were crying in public again. Crying while the sun rose higher and higher in the sky, crying as the beach filled with people, with joy. Crying. Yoongi reached out a hand and rested it on your leg, that was all.

One thing you had learnt was that there was never an end to despair. You might think that there would be some end to tears, that they dry up eventually, but the fact of the matter was, they didn’t. You had spent nights crying, days crying; Taehyung had given you night-time flu medicine to knock you out just to get you to stop. You think you’re at rock bottom and then you discover fifty feet of crap below it. That’s where you were. Below rock bottom. Making life worse for all those around you. You were worse than just unwanted. You were a mistake. All the way back to the beginning, you were a mistake. Dragging everyone down.

You took your hands to your thighs and Yoongi grabbed them both, held them tight. He lay down beside you and kept your hands clutched in his, held over his heart.

“You told me I wasn’t allowed to kill myself,” he said and his voice was croaky, a little strained. “If I can’t, you can’t.”

You struggled to control your sobbing enough to respond.

“W-what if I real- really w-w-want to?”

“Nope.”

“What if we k-killed ours-… ourselves together?”

“Suicide pact? Tempting. But no. I don’t want you to die.”

You sighed shakily.

“No, I don’t want you to d-die, either.”

"So we’re agreed then. No dying. No killing ourselves.”

You shrugged and Yoongi lifted a pinky. You didn’t want to promise, didn’t want to make a deal or a pact, didn’t want to swear that you wouldn’t end it all. You didn’t want to be bound to it. But after everything Yoongi had done for you, the fact that he was here now—you didn’t have a choice. You linked your own little finger with his as your heart sank in your chest.

The silence felt less strained when it fell again. A little closer, but less oppressive. You listened to the waves roll in and out, tried to time your breathing to it, tried to feel the sand, warm and gritty beneath you. Your tears were drying in the hot sun and being replenished less and less. You took your hands back from Yoongi, holding his now, heavy over your heart, the weight of them pressing on your chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Yoongi asked.

“Sungbin ended things.”

“Oh.”

“Kind of. He didn’t want a relationship. I thought that’s what we had.”

You couldn’t help your voice breaking, cracking, the wellspring in your eyes refreshing. You felt Yoongi shrug.

“His loss.”

“You don’t know him,” you said, voice wavering and lip wobbling.

“I don’t have to. I know you.”

Like a tap turned on, your tears began to flow again. You couldn’t take the weight of his kindness, the weight of what he had done for you, the weight of it in light of your misery and heartbreak, your depression and despair. Like a broken record, the same old thoughts wound around in your head, a kaleidoscope of the worst things you could think of yourself, the obligation to stay alive in spite of it all, the exhaustion of living.

Yoongi tugged on your hand and sat up.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s walk.”

Still crying, you stood up, brushed sand off yourself and let Yoongi lead you to the water’s edge. You pushed your toes into the wet sand, the waves rushing backwards and forwards, making you feel dizzy as the ground receded beneath your feet. You stepped in a little deeper and a little deeper still, until your arm was stretched, Yoongi still on the shoreline holding your hand.

“I want to go deeper,” you told him.

He shook his head.

“You can’t get your bandages wet.”

“Salt water is good for wounds.”

He shook his head again and you had no choice but to comply.

You walked along the shore, water splashing under your feet, the sea breeze just barely cooling against the sun beating down on you. You still wanted to walk into the sea and not come back out. You still wanted to go home and decay in your bed. But there was a tiny spark, somewhere, that felt a little bit alive, that could feel the air on your skin and sand in your toes and Yoongi’s hand in yours, that felt those things and a connection to the world, a tiny thread spinning out of you and into this place, this person. A grounding. You hated it. You didn’t want it. You wanted to whisk yourself off the planet in a tempestuous pool of blood without the guilt, without the knowledge that other people here would notice your absence.

Yoongi held your hand tighter.

Yoongi let you hold his hand in yours all day, all the way home, even as he drove. He walked you up to your apartment and you stopped in your doorway when you saw Taehyung sitting on your sofa, face like thunder.

“Oh- Teddy...”

“Where have you been?” he asked, voice low. “You haven’t replied to any of my messages since yesterday morning. You haven’t even read them.”

“I’ll leave you guys to it,” Yoongi said, dropping your hand and backing out. You turned to look at him and he looked back carefully. “You’ll be ok?”

You nodded and watched him retreat all the way down the corridor.

“Well?” Taehyung demanded as you shut your door and walked over to join him.

You shrugged, as if nothing had happened.

“Yoongi and I went to the beach.”

“Don’t bullshit me.”

There was a fire in his eyes that he was trying to subdue, trying to hide, but you knew him too well for that. You’d made him angry, too. Your stomach roiled with tension, your heartbeat skipping and racing. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know what you’d done in the past, but it had always been in the past or it had always been San who dealt with it in the present. It wasn’t the first time that you had fallen off and away from him, disappeared for a little while until he came and got you back, sweating and panting and raving with an irate worry that kept him watchful of you for days to come. It wasn’t the first time, which made it all the worse.

“You can’t just go off-grid like that with no warning. Tell me what’s happened.”

You curled yourself into a tight ball and gave him the shortest explanation you could.

“Sungbin.”

“Bad news?”

You nodded. He sighed, all the fire extinguished, and pulled you into his lap.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

You couldn’t cope with any more kindness. The way he stroked your hair and placed soft kisses into it, the way he rubbed your back and held you tight, the way he hummed jazz ballads you didn’t know, filling the silence so you didn’t have to... Your tears had still not run dry; there they were again.

For the second time in twenty-four hours, you fell asleep, face wet with tears, breathing jagged and unsteady, heart broken.

You remained that way, in and out of tears, in and out of sleep, for a few days; you called in sick for work and Taehyung pleaded his case to work from home – yours. He made you leave the house every day; he made you eat; he made you shower. It was almost as if the preceding six months hadn’t happened. You had gone nowhere, learnt nothing, achieved nothing. You had been right the first time: no one wanted you and it didn’t get better.

“That’s not true, y’know, princess,” Taehyung had replied when you’d told him that. “You’re not at square one at all. It might not feel like it now, but you’ve made progress. I promise you, this time it’ll be easier.”

Your therapist said the same. She also tried to get you to see that it wasn’t about Sungbin, that Sungbin could have been anyone and you would have reacted the same way to their rejection. You reluctantly agreed that you had been right when you’d previously said you weren’t ready for a relationship—you weren’t and this proved it. But you were sick of being alone.

And you were quickly sick of moping. Your frustration grew within you until you were nauseated by your own existence. You decided to do something radical for a change.

“What’s kickin’, chicken?!” You fell heavily into your chair the following Wednesday.

“What’s got into you?”

You shrugged. A ridiculous brain worm that was forcing you to breeze past your catastrophe of a life and pretend everything was fine, that’s what had got into you, but you weren’t going to say that, because it would ruin the pretence.

“Nothing. I’ve just decided to feel good. Sun’s shining and all that.”

Taehyung hummed lightly.

“Well, good.”

“What are you doing this weekend? Want to go out?”

“Out out?”

“Yep!”

You were going to be a girl about town, or something like that. You were going to kick up your heels or paint the town red or just do something, fucking anything, that could get you out of your head. Alcohol was always a good way to do that. Alcohol and loud music and too many bodies pressed up against each other.

“I was going to see Hyunji-”

“He can come, if he wants!”

“Uh, yeah, ok, I’ll text him.”

“It’s about time I met him properly anyway, babe; you’ve been gatekeeping him too long.”

You might have been turning over a new leaf or something, but you still needed a hand to hold while you did it and Taehyung was the one who held it now.

Hyunjin was as beautiful as you remembered.

“You really are an obnoxiously attractive couple, you know that?”

They looked at each other, Taehyung smirking, Hyunjin questioning, before grinning back at you with symmetrical shrugs.

“Born this way, baby; it’s a hard life, but someone’s gotta live it!”

You playfully shoved off Taehyung’s arm as he tried to wrap it around you and turned your attention to the bar. The first round was on you.

The second round was yours, and yours only.

And your third.

The fourth was the point at which Taehyung stepped in and asked if you wanted to slow down. You didn’t. You assured him you were completely fine. Then you bought another drink.

Finally drunk enough to dance, you slipped away from the two of them and moved into the mass of bodies on the dancefloor. It was much the same as any other: sticky floors littered with empty plastic cups; music you could feel beat through your bones; lights bright and hectic, spinning and flashing, making everyone’s face a blur, once there and the next second, gone; the bodies, hot and sticky and sweaty, pressed up against one another whether deliberately or not. You wanted to be one of them, become part of the writhing mass and lose yourself in it, if only for a little while.

Someone caught your eye. Someone tall, and dark, and handsome; someone dancing just a little better than everyone else. Someone surrounded by a ring of women, all wanting his attention but not bold enough to go out and grab it.

Fuck it, you thought, you’d had enough Dutch courage.

You slid through gaps, between people, and moved closer to him, your hands reaching for his hips. He didn’t seem surprised; he grinned at you and you were disarmed by the cuteness of it. He held his hands over yours and pulled you closer, then he pushed your hands backwards onto your own hips, still under his. He guided you, moved you, and you let him, enjoying ceding control. His body moved smoothly and fluidly, far more than yours could, and it wasn’t long before you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulled your chest closer to his, and gave yourself up to the moment. Whatever would happen would happen and you would go with it. Wasn’t this what you wanted? Yes, it was.

He wasn’t hesitant when he pulled back a little, when he faced you and leant in, bringing his lips to yours. The kiss was firm, sure, but not impatient, and you were the one to nip at his lower lip, to encourage his mouth open, to slip your tongue against his. His grip on you tightened, too hard now, digging in, ten little pressure points around your hips. Pressed so tightly against him, you could feel his body react, could feel but not hear the low groan that rumbled in his chest as you sucked on his tongue and raked your nails against his scalp. He broke your kiss and his mouth journeyed across your cheek to your ear.

“Want to find somewhere more private?”

Yes. That was exactly what you wanted.

He seemed to know where he was going and pushed open a door marked ‘STAFF ONLY’. You didn’t care if he worked there or not, if you were allowed to be going through there or not. You only cared that your hand was still clutched in his.

He pushed open another door and pulled you in, shutting the door behind you and then pushing you up against it, his hands either side of your head.

“Seunghoon, by the way,” he said before kissing you, deep and hard, his tongue searching inside your mouth.

You gave the only response you could: a quiet moan, just barely audible above the muffled beat of the distant dancefloor. As he moved his lips down your neck, you told him your name and he hummed against the skin of your neck.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too.”

His hands were skirting the hem of your dress and you lifted it, shameless, unabashed. He fumbled with his belt and you cursed yourself for leaving your bag with Taehyung and Hyunjin.

“Uh,” you began. “You have a condom, right?”

“Of course.”

He grinned at you and took his wallet from his back pocket. He extracted the small square of foil and handed it to you, while he unzipped. You had no idea it could be this easy. Taehyung’s words from months ago flashed in your mind; you should have done this months ago. He was right. ‘Go out in a short skirt, pull your underwear down, and away you go!’. Well, away you were going. You hadn’t even pulled your underwear down, just to the side. You had said you had more class than that, but now you didn’t. Now you didn’t want to.

The pressure was hard as Seunghoon inched inside you, the pain of the stretch just enough to anchor you to your body, to feel the bleary buzz from the alcohol, the tingling in your fingers and toes you always got at this moment, Seunghoon’s warm, wet breath on your face, the tang of something sharp lingering there. You kissed him again, brought your hands to his face and ran them through his hair.

“Fuck,” he growled against your lips. “You are fucking tight.”

“Uh huh.”

High-pitched and breathy because you were, a little too tight, but you wanted it so badly, wanted to feel him pressing against you, wanted to feel your walls mould to his contours. You had to. You had to feel this wanting, wanted, had to know that you were worth something, even if only this.

He moved slowly, patiently, and the pain gave way to pleasure, your words and sounds less performative now. His hips were as smooth and fluid as they had been on the dancefloor, his lips as soft, his tongue as wet as he sucked bold, unembarrassed marks into your neck. You hadn’t really expected to enjoy it. You just wanted it as proof of something. It didn’t matter what it was, really, didn’t matter how it went as long as it happened. But Seunghoon was better than that and he took his hand between your bodies, pressed against your clit, moved his fingers slowly, timed with his thrusts.

“Oh fuck,” you gasped, an out-of-reach orgasm suddenly seeming a whole lot closer. “Like that, please... Ah.”

It was tantalising. You could feel your walls begin to squeeze; the tight, quivering tension in your legs spread down your thighs; you felt flushed and hot and shivery. You were about to give yourself over to it, as surprised as anyone that you got there, then Seunghoon groaned and shuddered and, with a few, final, hard thrusts, came inside you and it was gone.

You sighed and Seunghoon withdrew, disappearing off into the darkness of the room to dispose of the condom (you didn’t ask where nor did you want to know) and you pushed your dress back down your legs. You didn’t know what was supposed to happen now; you hadn’t done this before. You weren’t expecting him to care, to be interested in you, to offer you anything more than you’d already got. You smoothed your dress and turned to open the door when he said your name.

“You want a drink or something?”

You turned and he smiled at you.

“Sure.”

But you didn’t make it to the bar. You were moving around the edge of the writhing mass when an arm grabbed you and stopped you in your tracks.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” Taehyung shouted, but you still couldn’t quite hear him over the noise. He leant in closer and repeated his question. “We’ve been looking for you! Where did you go?!”

You gestured vaguely towards the bar.

“I’m fine, babe!” you answered, even though that hadn’t been the question. “I’m getting a drink!”

There was another hand at your other elbow. Seunghoon had returned and was looking between the two of you.

“Is he bothering you?” he asked, looking Taehyung up and down.

Taehyung’s face darkened and he pulled you a little harder away from Seunghoon.

“Who the fuck is this guy?”

“Don’t worry! This is Teddy; he’s my friend! Teddy, this is Seunghoon.”

Taehyung couldn’t hide his surprise and it stuck in you, this prickling feeling that said his surprise wasn’t because this behaviour was unlike you, but because it was unlike any man to show any interest in you. He was surprised not that you did it but that you managed to do it.

Seunghoon visibly relaxed and extended a hand to Taehyung with a smile. Taehyung returned a frown and dragged you further still, so far in fact, that you were staggering, being pulled through the crowd. You shrugged at Seunghoon, called a light ‘sorry!’ to him before turning in the direction you were being led.

“Hyunjin and I are going to head home; are you coming?”

“No, thanks. I’m going to stay.”

Taehyung chewed on the words in his mouth for a moment.

“I think you should come home.”

“I’m having fun.”

“I don’t want to leave you on your own, love.”

“I’m a grown woman, Teddy! I can take care of myself!”

“I know you can, but I want you to come home with us. I want to know you’re ok!”

His concern was grating on you, rubbing off your fake joie de vivre, cutting through this shiny surface to your miserable core. You didn’t want that, didn’t want to be cared for. You wanted to be wanted. Seunghoon wanted you, at least for tonight, at least for one more drink. That was what you wanted. But you’d been punctured now. The little balloon keeping your head held high was deflating. You shrugged, nodded, let him lead you outside to where Hyunjin was waiting with a taxi.

You made them drop you at your own apartment. The very last thing you wanted was to hear them having sex, to see them together in the morning, all bed-hair and sleepy smiles. You lay in your bed and ran the night over in your mind, replaying it, making sure it was secure there, that you would remember it, remember it exactly as it happened. That it had been that easy to walk up to someone and have them want you. That you were worth something after all. You fell asleep quickly, the memory of Seunghoon’s smile as he asked you for a drink the last thing you remembered.

You repeated this experience weekly, sometimes more than weekly. It was a thing to look forward to, a bright spark in your dreary existence. That could have made you feel pathetic (it did), but you were still pushing all of that aside, trying not to engage with the part of your brain that said all those things to you. It was still there, yammering away, gnawing at you when you had a quiet moment or in the darkness of your bedroom as you tried to sleep.

You didn’t bother telling your therapist because you didn’t want to hear what she had to say; you didn’t talk about it with Taehyung either. You could feel his eyes on you sometimes, hear his mind working on what to say to you, how to broach the topic. He had never known you single before San ended things; he had no prior experience to draw on to know if this was normal for you or not. You were happy to keep it that way.

You were lying on his sofa, groaning and whining in the midst of a thumping hangover.

“I thought you had dinner with Yoongi yesterday?” Taehyung asked as he placed a hot, sweet, and milky coffee on the table in front of you.

“I did,” you replied, your voice muffled in the cushions. “I went out after.”

“Oh, you and Yoongi went out?”

“No, just me.”

You ignored his pause.

“I feel like you’ve been doing that a lot recently, eh?”

You shrugged.

“Yoongi didn’t want to go out with you?”

You shrugged again.

“I didn’t ask.”

Taehyung’s eyebrows reached his hairline.

“Not a good wingman, huh?”

You shrugged again. You hadn’t asked Yoongi to go out with you because you didn’t want him to come, to see what you were up to. You didn’t want him to witness that desperation. You didn’t know what he would think; you cared about what he thought. This was a new way of coping for you. Was it Yoongi’s, too? Did he behave like this? You would have guessed no. You felt pre-emptively judged for it, despite the fact that the only thing he’d ever made you feel judged for was your carelessness in the kitchen, and that was affectionate. This was your sordid, little secret. Semi-secret.

“You’re being safe, though, aren’t you?”

“Obviously. I’m not stupid.”

“Just checking.”

You could feel the bubble in your chest, rising in your throat, wanting to say more, wanting to let everything fall out of your mouth at breakneck speed in the way you always did. You wanted to say, look, I can be wanted! I’m fine and what I’m doing is fine because it’s what I want! You wanted to say, this was your idea in the first place! I’m going out and finding people to fuck—isn’t that what you said I should do? Well, I’m doing it! And it’s working!

Maybe.

You didn’t know if it was working. You didn’t know what it meant for it to work. You didn’t have a larger goal; every time, it was just to feel wanted for that one night. It was to show to yourself, again and again, that you could be. You supposed at some point that it would start to sink in, maybe the message would stick around beyond the moment you fell asleep; maybe you would wake up and still feel satisfied. Not yet, though. It hadn’t yet.

“As long as it’s making you happy, babygirl.”

Nothing made you happy.

“Thanks for the coffee.”

You sat up and took a sip, hoping that would be an end to it. Subject over.

Against all odds, and despite the fact that it was the last thing you wanted, Yoongi was the one you ended up talking to about it.

You were sitting on a stool at his kitchen counter while he cooked. You were hungover, so drinking only water. The weeks of your lonely, empty nights out were starting to wear on you. Where you had thought they would eventually make you feel fuller, they actually made you feel emptier. It left you a little hollower each time now. It was a little less fun, a little less satisfying—even if the sex was good. Which it often wasn’t.

“Hey, babe, can I ask you something?”

Yoongi turned from the stove to look at you.

“Have you slept with anyone since you and your ex broke up?”

His cheeks coloured.

“You mean apart from you?”

Your cheeks heated and you were grateful that he turned his attention back around and you only had to look at his back.

“Yeah.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Is that deliberate?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, are you deliberately not sleeping with anyone or are you like, dating, you want to sleep with people but it’s just, I don’t know, not working out?”

He turned again, his face a frown of confusion. You were used to the way he didn’t answer immediately but he left it long enough this time, blinking, his eyes calculating, that you didn’t know if he would answer. Then he shrugged.

“I haven’t really tried,” he said. “I’m not that-…” He shrugged again. “I’m not that interested right now.”

You nodded. You didn’t have him pegged as the one-night stand type, though you weren’t sure why, given that he slept with his ex on their first date and you shortly after their break-up when you barely knew each other. Maybe it was just that you felt like he deserved more than that; your shallow, empty experiences were wearing you out and you didn’t want that for him. You didn’t want him to be hot and sweaty and inside a woman whom he would forget in the morning, who would forget him, too. You wanted him to have that making-love kind of sex that you had all but forgotten by now. That deep, slow intimacy, with nowhere else to be, indulgent and luxurious.

You were losing yourself in the thought, in trying to remember what that was like, being held by someone, fucked by someone who loved you, the tiny soft touches, the slow kisses, the sweet, sparkling look in their eye. In contrast to that, your recent endeavours seemed nauseatingly cold. You were beginning to face up to the fact that their time—your time, with this useless, stupid, compulsive behaviour—was running out.

You were so lost in thought that when Yoongi fired the question back at you, you answered before you could think.

“Yeah, loads of people,” you said with a dejected sigh. “It’s depressing actually. I thought it was making me feel better, but I think I feel worse than ever. And I already knew it was a bad idea because I have not told my therapist about it. And that’s how you know! If you don’t want people to know what you’re doing, there’s a reason for that and the reason is usually: you should not be doing it.

“It was fun at first. Really fun, actually. The sex was mediocre but it was a new thing for me; I hadn’t done the whole, one-night stand, hook-up, sex in a public bathroom thing before so it was novel and exciting and I was just so relieved that people weren’t disgusted by me, y’know? It sounds so ridiculous when I say it out loud now, which is why I haven’t, because I didn’t want it to be taken from me. I wanted to do something stupid and reckless and kind of fun – even though I knew it wasn’t right in the long-run – but now I’ve done it and I’m looking at myself and I feel like I need a shower. I thought I was proving to myself that I was worth something but I think I still feel completely worthless.”

You were babbling, again, falling back so easily into the habit of letting everything fall out of your brain, straight onto the plate, raw and unfiltered and unknown to you before it was already in your mouth. You hadn’t meant to say any of it. You wished you could suck it back. Yoongi still had his back to you so at least you didn’t have to watch his face, see his reaction. You looked into your glass of water and wished it were wine. You took a gulp anyway.

“Sorry, didn’t actually mean to say any of that!” You laughed awkwardly and sat up a little straighter. “It’s been my weird secret that’s not a secret. I think Teddy is dying to tell me off for it or give me a concerned lecture at least. Just wasn’t ready to hear any of it so I’ve avoided it. But, I don’t know... maybe now I need to be told or have it confirmed at least that, surprise surprise, this won‘t fix me. Surprise, it was all bad...

“It’s not even that the sex was bad. Or well, a lot of it was. A real string of duds, actually, recently.” You hadn’t meant to start but now you couldn’t stop, not until it was all gone, purged, exorcised. “I thought it was just that. Bad sex is bad sex, of course it’s not going to be satisfying or make you feel good. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t my problems; it was just bad sex! But then this last guy? That was good. It was good. But it didn’t seem to matter how good I felt physically; the old, yawning chasm of misery was still there. Poor guy. Giving me his best moves and then, of course, because it’s me... I cried.”

Yoongi choked slightly on his drink.

“You cried during sex?”

“No! No, after. Thank god. I was just really overwhelmed by how shit I felt, in contrast to how good the sex had been.” You snorted, rolling your eyes at yourself. “He was sweet about it, bless him. He was nice. That made me feel even worse. I could finally no longer delude myself that it was working or that I was enjoying myself. That shit is not what I want. What I want is a guy to be nice to me, especially nice, especially me, all the time, right? And he was being nice to me but I still felt so sick and empty.” You rolled your eyes again, hearing yourself saying all this out loud, facing your own stupidity. “Why is it that you do that? General ‘you’, I mean, people. You do things that you know aren’t good? You do things that don’t make you feel better? You know something is a bad idea and you do it anyway and then you go, oh, yeah, that was a really bad idea! It’s not just me, is it? I can’t be the only one.”

“Of course it’s not just you.” His voice was gentle, no hint of reproach but the mildest titter of laughter. He moved around you, getting plates and bowls from the cupboard, moving between the kitchen and the dining table. “You know about my last relationship; wasn’t I doing the exact same thing? Didn’t make me feel better; I knew she wasn’t good for me; she made me miserable. Stayed with her anyway.”

“Ugh,” you said with real feeling as you got off your stool and took a seat at the table. “Are we back to being broken-heart losers again? This sucks.”

Yoongi laughed.

“I think I told you at the time that you weren’t a loser and I wasn’t broken-hearted.”

“So you’re a loser and I’m broken-hearted? … Yeah, that kind of tracks.”

“Hey!”

You smiled, grateful to him, as you often were. Always were. You felt like a huge weight had been lifted off you, that you’d told someone, that you’d spoken about it, that he understood. He always understood and that still surprised you. It shouldn’t have. It was Yoongi, after all. Yoongi was The One Who Understood, the one who got you. Whatever your souls were made of, that whole thing, that was you and Yoongi. You were one and the same. You wondered, not for the first time (and not for the last), what it was that put him in your path, or you in his. Baking, sure, but why then, why that class, why was the only space next to you? Why were you so craven in your desperation for his friendship? Why did he mean something to you when you knew nothing about him? You didn’t have the answers, probably never would, but you offered up a little thank you to the universe; you already didn’t know what you’d do or how you’d come this far without him.

Chapter Five | Masterlist | Chapter Seven

taglist: @chimmisbae, @idkjustlovingbts @miriamxsworld, @amethystwritesbts, @quarter-life-crisis2, @tarahardcore, @simp47koreancrackheads, @xyahrinx

#yoongi x reader #suga x reader #yoongi fic #suga fic #bts x reader #yoongi angst

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uramilf · 10 months

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could you write something about the reader having a birthday party and it ends up being shit because stuff goes wrong so she’s upset and matty comforts her?

A/N: Okay this is perfect for me because I LOVE birthdays and always put so much effort into everyone else's, but mine gets overlooked or forgotten most years because it's near Christmas it's so annoying :( I've decided to turn this one into a proper imagine instead of a blurb yay

Birthday Party - Matty Healy x reader

The second you woke up on your birthday, you could sense it wasn't going to be as special as you anticipated. First of all, Matty wasn't in bed beside you. Second of all, you remembered that you were just another year older, and wished you could go back to your teenage years when people cared about birthdays. You rolled back over and shut your eyes again, not even bothering to try and find your boyfriend. This only lasted a few moments, as your phone rang. "Mum", the screen read when you picked it up. Your heart lightened a little bit. Looked like somebody cared after all. "Hi Mum!" you smiled. "Hi, love. Sorry to bother you, but I think I left my coat hanging over your stairs when I was visiting the other day. You wouldn't have time to bring it over to me, would you?" "Yeah, Mum, it's here. No, sorry, I don't have a lot of time today. The boys have arranged a little part later." "Ooh, what's the occasion?" she asked. You shook your head, heart dropping. "It's my birthday, Mum." "Oh, sorry love! So it is. Sorry, I should have gotten you something, we've just been so busy..." You stopped listening after that. "It's fine," you interrupted her. "Look, I have to go." "No worries, darling. Happy birthday!" You didn't reply, swiftly hanging up the phone.

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Walking slowly down the stairs, you breathed in the smell of something burning in the kitchen. Your heart sank a little further. Something else gone wrong already. Matty was fanning the oven with a tea towel as smoke poured from inside. "I'm so sorry, love! I thought I could make a cake. I guess not," he sighed. You were disappointed that his surprise was ruined, but felt worse for him when you realised he looked close to tears. You didn't say anything, but you stood beside him and ran a hand through his curls. "Happy birthday, gorgeous." "Thanks, love," you sighed, kissing him on the cheek and going to leave the kitchen. He followed you, reaching for your waist and turning you round to look at him. He pressed a soft kiss to your lips. "Hey. Talk to me, pretty girl," he mumbled against your lips. "Mum forgot my birthday." "Oh, darling, I'm sorry. I'm gonna make today special, I promise." "It's ok. My birthday's always a bit shit."

Matty sympathised with you for a minute or two, stealing a few more kisses and playing with your hair. "C'mon," he smiled against your mouth. "Breakfast time." He took you by the hand and led you back upstairs to get dressed. While he was pulling his shoes on, he suddenly grinned at you, your heart fluttering a little at his smile. "What?" you laughed. "Nothing, love. You're just so pretty." He stared at your smile for a moment or two, before gasping dramatically. "I almost forgot! I have presents for you but I was thinking you could open them later after your party." "Of course, thanks love."

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Your birthday party was in full swing, but you still felt miserable. You had wanted a small gathering of your closest friends, but more people had turned up than you had planned. Your living room was crowded with people who were friends with your boyfriend, not you. George had drank too much and was being sick in the kitchen. Your house was a mess; bottles and cans everywhere, drinks spilled, rubbish on the floor. You had been given about a million presents by your guests, but you were far from in the mood to open them, so they sat untouched in a corner. You wished you were in the kitchen with Matty, George, Ross and Adam, maybe Carly and Charli too. And your family, and Matty's parents and brother. With a birthday cake. With candles to wish on. And a few presents, things you really wanted, instead of piles and piles of things you would never use. Not feeling totally alone in a house full of people you barely knew who were there for the alcohol, not your birthday.

After around 20 minutes of sitting alone in the living room surrounded by strangers, you saw George come back and sit next to you. "Recovered then, Danes?" you smiled at him. "Sorry for being sick in your sink, love. Promise I cleaned it up." He swung and arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side. "Good birthday then?" "Not really, to be honest with you. Don't tell Matt. But I'm a bit tired and I kinda just want to go to bed." George's face fell. "Soryy, Y/n. Go to bed, love. Ross and I will get everyone to leave." You smiled sadly and nodded before heading upstairs.

-------------

When the house fell quiet and Matty came upstairs, you were crying. "Darling, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have had so many people over, I just wanted to make your day special." He sat down beside you and pulled you into his lap, stoking your hair. "It's not your fault babe, you've been so sweet today. I'm sorry, this is selfish of me." Matty gave you a stern look and said, "Absolutely not. You're not selfish for being upset that your day hasn't gone the way you wanted it to." He kissed all over your face, leaving your lips for last. When he pulled away from you, you smiled and his eyes lit up. "There's that pretty smile! Tell you what, why don't you tell me exactly what you want to do tomorrow and we'll have a birthday do-over." You wiped a tear and grinned. "Really?" "Absolutely." "Hmmm," you thought for a moment. "Okay. I want to have a lie in first, and you're not allowed to leave me to make a horrendous mess of the kitchen." Matty grimaced. "Yep, I deserved that," he laughed. "Then I want to go see your mum. I miss her." "Done," Matty confirmed. "She'll be glad to see you." "Then I want us to watch a good film together. I don't even care which one, as long as we have good snacks." "Absolutely. Anything else?" "Nope. Just want you."

Matty curled up beside you in bed and his deep breathing pattern almost sent you to sleep. But he sat up again abruptly, saying "Your present! I almost forgot!" He got out of bed and rummaged in his sock drawer, handing you a small wrapped box. You opened it to find a gorgeous silver necklace with a little butterfly charm on it. "I love it, Matty, thank you!" You cried. He took it out of the box to put it on for you, placing a kiss to your neck after doing so, before pulling you into his chest and holding you tightly.

As you lay down to go to sleep that night you couldn't help but feel a lot better than you had in the morning. And maybe your birthday hadn't been so bad after all. One thing you knew for sure was that your "birthday do-over" with Matty was going to be the best birthday yet.

———————————

A/N: rumour has it this was the cake Matty was trying to make

#matty healy #matty healy x reader #the 1975 #matty #matty healy imagines #george daniel #adam hann #ross macdonald

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mod2amaryllis · 7 months

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I'm waiting for this migraine to die so I'm gonna tell you guys about Marshall, the dog who made me quit. read on if you wanna learn about extended quarantine and why this job sucks sometimes and other times is the most rewarding thing on the planet, often for the same reasons lmao.

in 2021, the weight of covid was kinda crashing down. i heard this was the case for a lot of health workers. we switched into emergency mode throughout 2020 and powered through, then the rest of the world decided to try and "get back to normal" a year later, giving no regard to the people who'd been working like a speeding train with the brakes off all that time. i was losing it!!! add a few more hay bales to my back when we hired a new doc who was the most demanding dude I'd ever met (still is, but we've come to some understanding lol) and who decided to run me as ragged as possible the first day he was left to his own devices.

that was the day Marshall came in.

i didn't talk about this back then because the outcome of the case was uncertain and the details so specific, but here's the run down knowing that 2 years later, Marshall is living his best life. when he was a baby, too young to have received a rabies vaccine, his owners found a rabies positive bat in the house. the state vet will always recommend euthanasia in these situations, OR, if you can somehow find and afford the option, a 6 month quarantine. this was such a tragic situation the owners were willing to try to save him. my clinic happens to have a decent isolation ward that's rarely in use; we use it for infectious patients like parvo puppies, uri's that have to be hospitalized, etc. so my boss agreed to take him for those 6 months. but the owners' caveat was that if he wasn't mentally adjusting to isolation after a couple weeks, they would euthanize so as not to put him through it and leave him with lifelong behavior issues.

that day, when animal control brought Marshall in the middle of an insane rush, we were short staffed and already at the end of our ropes with this new doc. i was the only qualified person who could talk to the officer. i was the only person who could take him back to isolation. the act of putting a 12 week old puppy in a 4 x 4 run where i knew he would either spend 6 months untouched, or never see the outside again, broke me. last straw.

i was a mess, for the rest of that day and the rest of that weekend having to go in and take care of him, when it was too early for him to adjust so i was sure he wouldn't make it. I'd come home sobbing. eventually jose was just like, "this isn't worth it any more," and i sent in a two weeks notice. i'd come close to doing so many times in the previous 6 years but never pulled the trigger. it took a total meltdown. my managers responded with regret, but understanding.

i wish i could've just felt free and done with it but for those two weeks i was just uncertain. this job is so complicated. the benefits for my pets are enormous; it's my main social network; it's income; I'm good at it and it gives me purpose. it's just also hell on earth! with no pressure from anyone else one way or the other, by the end of two weeks I'd decided to instead try going part time. that's where I'm at 2 years later so guess it worked lol.

but! there was still Marshall. shortly after we took him, we also happened to get a call for the same situation on 2 cats, and decided to take them as well. 3 animals on a 6 month quarantine. very new and daunting for all of us.

that first weekend was hard, but slowly, Marshall figured things out. it was the least ideal situation imaginable and i was at rock bottom and so was he, but i had this moment of like.....ok. if he wants to make this work, I'm gonna do as right by him as possible. and of course all us techs were helping him (one of my road dog coworkers always opened so i referred to her as his "morning mom") but i in particular took a special interest in training and enrichment. it became a passion. i was working less, but i volunteered extra weekends so i could see him more.

he was so young he hadn't even done much basic command training, and the fact that i couldn't touch him at all was a challenge. i started with a clicker to signal I'd rolled a treat into his run, since i couldn't give it to him directly. over those months we went through the basics: sit, down, paw, touch, using a back scratcher for a hand. part of the worry was him getting enough exercise; we noticed that when he'd get agitated, he'd jump on the bars non stop. i was like hmm that might be our only option, so i made "up" a command. i'd basically run burpies for exercise, up-sit-down-sit-up. he was a fast learner, very attentive. seeing him keep his wits about him like that was straight up thrilling. he even "potty trained" himself, barking like crazy whenever he'd go to the bathroom so we'd know right away he needed the run cleaned.

in the ward, there are 2 runs and 3 kennels. i trained Marshall to go back and forth between runs so we could clean. we'd have his food waiting for him in the next run over so he could eat while we'd clean; at the midday switch, he'd have a doggie popsicle. he was such a smart dog i knew toys and treats alone weren't cutting it for enrichment, and i couldn't constantly train him when i still had to be doing the rest of my job.

i started having everyone save every single box and paper-packaging that came in. i'd unfold some boxes for "bedding," so he'd at least have something between him and the concrete (he'd chew and eat any blanket we tried giving him). the rest, i turned into puzzles. i put treats inside and closed them up. put big boxes on their side in his run so he could go in and out. crumpled up paper-packaging with treats mixed in for him to dig through. every day i'd turn one run into a box-toy paradise, let him in, clean the other, and by the time i was checking back in on him he was snoozing in a pile of destruction. success. when other techs wouldn't go to the same lengths, i'd stay late pre-making his boxes and telling people to just throw them in dammit. i also queued several ambient sound playlists, birdsong cityscapes etc, to play on the weekend days when he was alone for long periods.

the months went by like this. i learned more about training, enrichment, and most specifically quarantine than i ever had outside of my experiences with my own puppies. we fell into a routine. we straight up loved each other, he was part of my life. he'd been this horrible trigger and pretty much doubled my workload, but he got to live.

then there were the cats! they were a little easier than Marsh just because they were already adults so didn't have all this energy to wrangle. for them, daily cleaning of course, taking turns going into the 1 empty kennel where i'd have treats, catnip, and other "new" smells waiting for them. for enrichment i focused on reconfiguration. every 2-3 days i'd rearrange things in their kennels, with the big pieces being a litter box, a bed, and an upright sturdy box (so they could either be in it or on top of it, giving them one upper level). it was habitat tetris. we'd play with strings and use the back scratcher for pets. then about every week, i'd switch their kennels to slightly change their view AND traded beds to mingle scents. they were from the same household and we were worried there'd be difficulty re-bonding after not being in direct contact for so long. they also did very well by the end of 6 months aside from gaining a lot of weight (oops). i learned just as much from them, and would love to help anyone else who might struggle with needing to quarantine pets.

i've seen people posting for help about similar situations and just wanna scream from the rooftops: the beginning is very daunting and hopeless, but animals aren't like us!!!!!! they do the best with what they got!!!!! if you work hard and keep them clean and develop a routine it'll all work out!!!!! Marshall walked out of there at 6 months a normal happy puppy in desperate need of a haircut.

it's interesting because i've never interacted much with his owners. i don't think they know i'm the one who kept him from losing his mind in there, even though everyone else at the clinic does, and i'm weirdly ok with that. the other day he came in cuz the dummy ate a bunch of meds he wasn't supposed to; the doc brought him to the back and instantly, Marshall rushed right for me. he still remembers me in a good way. there's still love. it's like...one of the few patient relationships i've had that feels truly deeply personal. in retrospect i think he had a bigger hand in healing my relationship with this career and animals in general than i realized at the time.

so thanks for making me quit Marshall. i feel a lot better now.

(i don't have any pics of him from that time (tragic ssd card accident) but he was an overgrown doodle puppy so he looked like this.)

#vet med #vet tech #work stuff #m2a #I've always wanted to tell this story it had such an impact on me

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xylon8 · 7 months

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A Sinful Symphony

[Dom!Kafka x Sub!Fem!reader]

[Nsfw warning!] Soft violin music sways you with ease as it plays in the background. Kafka is dancing with you, twirling you around and pulling you close and slowly dancing to the soft melody of the orchestra. Moments like this are treasured as sometimes she has no time to be around since she has to follow Elio’s orders in order to find what she pursuits, fear. One day, she was finally off duty and came back to your home seemingly tired as she wrapped her arms around you, flopping herself down on the couch with you. You didn't complain but it saddened you to see Kafka this tired. “How was work, kafu?” you mutter softly. Kafka looked at you with a soft, and loving gaze, as if she was no longer tired. “mm.. It was so boring.. and lonely because i don't get to be with you..” she sighs, placing her face deep against your chest, you chuckle, running your fingers through her velvety locks. “It's a shame, I know. How about we make up for that lost time?” you smirk, earning a playful glint from Kafka. “fufu.. Who knew you would become so dirty, Y/n.. well.. Not that i'm complaining anyway..” you both kissed, letting your tongues intertwine with each other, kafka dominating you fairly easily. You let her touch envelop your body, her bite marks covering your upper body perfectly, clothes non existent to the both of you as you both took them off. To her, you were a sight to behold, better than the stars that flood every single planet she has been in. no matter if she has seen your godly figure multiple of times, it makes her want to ravish you in a snap of a finger. Her mouth stumbles upon your hardened nipple, as she suckles it with her mouth and twisted at the other, making you shiver and moan in pleasure. She mumbles praises and soft hums under her breath, not leaving a single part of your body untouched as if she's worshiping your body inch by inch… “oh baby.. You're just so beautiful for mommy.. Mmn.. you make it too hard for me to ever say no..” she detached her mouth from your breast, licking the hardened bud of flesh teasingly and looking at you, as if she's staring at the most prized and expensive artifact. It only made your heart yearn for more. Kisses make its way home down to your chest, and stomach, leaving smears of her favorite lipstick being shown on your body like a canvas, reapplying the lipstick and kissing your body even more until there's no gaps visible on you. Bites and kisses marking your inner thighs with ease until she finally reached your aching core. She ate you out without any warning, causing you to let out a breathy and shaky moan. Your hand instinctively went to her head, gripping at her hair as you pushed her deeper, a moan leaving out of her causing a small vibration that made you jolt in more pleasure.. Her mouth sucking at your clit and penetrating your needy hole with her two fingers leaving you a moaning mess. you are squeezing her head with your thighs tenderly. As much as she wants her head to be squeezed by you, she wants to focus on you first and opens your legs wide, earning more access in giving you as much pleasure as you could possibly want. You tried to hold on to the best of your ability, wanting to be a good girl for kafka so badly, but your release just seemed to be achingly close… "M-mommy… c-cumming.. Please.. i -i need.. T-to.. aah..” you whimpered as you dug your nails deep into Kafka’s scalp, earning a moan from her again. tug as much as you want, she will only go faster.. “Mnh.. let it all go baby.. You've been such a good girl..” you pant and tremble, letting out one final moan escape from your mouth, your juices being happily swallowed by your girlfriend. She lets out a soft and sultry hum at the taste of your sweet release, licking her lips and licking the rest of your juices from her fingers. “Mn.. you taste so wonderful as always.. care to be mommy's little fuck toy until the only thing you can call me is yours?” She laughs softly and props herself again in between your thighs. She is not stopping anytime soon until she is done worshiping you thoroughly…

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr smut #honkai star rail smut #wlw ns/fw #kafka #hsr kafka #kafka honkai star rail #kafu #kafka hsr #star rail #stellaron hunters #[🎱 ball archives]

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oddballwriter · 7 months

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Dwelling in the Night, Part Four: Just Know I'm Not the Sinister Type

Series Masterlist

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

Summary: Life, and un-life, goes on. Stevan and you get closer, despite your better judgment, and actually reach the level of friends. It's actually quite nice when you don't think about everything that might come when time keeps going on, leaving only one of you untouched. Meanwhile, an eventful night of hunting happens for you. One with what you thought was a close call that involved you not killing someone tonight out of sympathy. But unfortunately, for you, you don't have as keen of eyes as you think you do.

Warnings: Reader is a vampire, so there's the usual vampire stuff like drinking blood and biting. Reader gets a little bit edgy and emo, not going to lie to you, because I gave them some backstory to their vampirism. Reader actually attacks someone, but doesn't kill them. It's revealed that reader can to mind control and memory altering as a vampire power however, it is used on someone else. So if you have issues with mind control stuff be aware of that. Cliffhanger ending.

Author’s Snip: Vampire Y/N lover come and get your juice. *places a blood bag on the table* Wow! I'm actually doing something that advances the plot instead of whatever part 3 was. But yeah. We may be having plots merging 👀.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Word Count: 1974

It had been a while since the meat incident. About a month or two. The boys, although a bit creeped out by the idea of some stranger breaking into their place and just eating the raw meat in their fridge, seemed to let it go.

You also let it slip by, opting to pretend to yourself that you never did that in the first place. Both too ashamed about it, even though you weren't actually caught, and also because of the fact that Moon Knight technically broke into your place through your open window making you think that he saw you crawl in through Steven's window and back.

To you, what Steven didn't know wouldn't hurt him. It was only one time and it was out of desperation to satisfy the hunger that exists inside you before it took its hold of you and you made an even bigger mess of things.

Over these past few months, you and Steven grew closer. You would actually spend time in each other's flats from time to time. In his, you would spend time talking about various things like some literature since he had an abundance of books, but one thing you loved was when he'd tell you everything there is to know about Egypt and all of its history and mythos. It was amusing to you, hearing him ramble on and on about... well... everything. It's not like you knew anything about the place. You may be old but you aren't ancient Egypt old so hearing all of this from one person was nice. But then again maybe it was because Steven was the only thing close to a friend you have here, other than Moon Knight when you bump into him in the alleys.

Steven liked your flat too, surprisingly. So far you had spun the story that you were a person who liked to collect vintage things and also had a small interest in the macabre, as a means to explain the coffin you had 'as a coffee table'.

In truth, your coffin coffee table that you 'got from a funeral home somewhere' was actually yours and you were meant to be sealed in it, in your original home. But you came back just before they could nail it shut back in your family mausoleum. Your collection of vintage was always yours and has never once been in a thrift or antique store. Some were things from when you were alive. Most others were things you collected through the years afterward. The bed frame and mattress, plates, cups, utensils, and other normal things that you've never actually used but bought so that in case someone comes to your flat they wouldn't find it odd and start to question things, which might lead to your discovery.

Steven didn't need to know that though. Instead, he just oggled at them all and occasionally asked about a few things. There was one item that he just had to ask about though.

"Who's this?" he questioned, pointing at a photo. It was of you back when you were alive. It was old, barely still together, and in grainy black and white with the tint of age changing the white. You went for the easy answer, "It's a great relative all the way back in the day.".

"They look an awful lot like you, don't they?" Steven comments with a little smile. "Yeah. I get that a lot." you respond, "It happens. Sometimes decedents look a lot like the older generations." you comment, to which Steven nods, taking the lie.

But you can only lie so much.

"What exactly brings you here? If you don't mind me asking." Steven questions.

I was starting to be found out and the hunters showed up trying to hunt me, so I needed to flee.

"I just wanted to move somewhere new. Get a fresh start." you simply answered.

"Do you have family here?" is what Steven asks next.

It wouldn't really matter. The family tree's grown on without you. Any family you used to have are all dead now, leaving descendants that either remember you as a dearly departed that was taken too soon or have never even heard of you.

"No." you answer simply, again.

Steven gives you a sympathetic glance at that answer. "That's a bit lonely, isn't it? Being here all by yourself." Steven comments.

"I have you." is what you say, not thinking before saying it. Steven blushes a bit at the answer with a shocked look crossing is soft eyes for a moment before smiling. "Well, I'm glad that I can be someone to keep you company." he says.

"Yeah," you mutter smiling back. But there's a little bit of pain plucking at your heartstrings deep down.

You've never really had a friend before, at least not after you came back from the dead. You had a few when living. You had a lot of things that you couldn't come back for after returning. Your way of 'life' was now just staying out of sight or under the radar. Taking what you could and fleeing when you were caught. Learning how to control any weird powers and abilities you gained all by yourself.

You made acquaintance over these years in the few places you've been, but you never really made bonds since it was a matter of time till you needed to leave again. That, and also to save the sight of watching time take its course on them while you stayed frozen and outside of its reach like always.

In all honesty, you tried to push Steven away or keep him at the same distance as you did everyone else, but somehow he just managed to squeeze right in by being your kindly, and dorky, neighbor. You tried to shake off the feeling of dread for the day you may need to leave or see time reach him too. For now, he's just Steven.

🩸🩸🩸

Another night of hunting and another night of putting on the clothes that helped you blend in with the shadows of the alleys that you stalked. Sure it was dirty to kill off criminals but it had its benefits to society if you looked at it from a certain angle, and also because bloody banks are more of a hassle than this.

You locked on a target. A mugger that's been making the rounds around this alley path that some would use as a shortcut to get places quicker. But during the night it was dangerous. It had a lot of pockets from the old infrastructure that criminals could hide in waiting to ponce on someone passing by. But that could also spin their own doom when it came to you hunting them. This guy was using the technique too. Using a spot made for dumping trash and scraps for the collectors in the morning. It was big enough for the both of you.

He didn't see you in the shadows, watching him and his movements from your spot. You both listened for the sound of anyone coming, both waiting for the moment to strike. You hear heels clacking on the stone floor, coming closer, and it seems like he hears them too as he settles himself into place. You don't feel like witnessing a poor woman be ambushed and so you go for the shot anyway. You already know what he's planning on doing so might as well do it like he still did it.

You grab the back of his shirt and pull him towards you. But he instinctively elbows you causing you to bite his arm instead of his neck. He recoils, you lunge, and you both scuffle down onto the ground. He's actually pretty strong, but you've wrestled with some criminals before and at some point they end up losing.

But in the scuffle, he grabs something from the ground close to the wall and hits you across the face with it. And it hurts. It burns. You coil back and hold your face, emit something between a scream, growl, and hiss. A noise that you don't make too often. You feel bits of wood and splinters on the stinging skin. He's hit you with a piece of spare plywood that was left to be collected.

Great. Out of all of the things he could have hit you with, it's the one thing that actually hurts.

You come back to your senses when you see him try to run. But you can't let him go. He's most likely seen your face since you don't wear a mask, if he gets away he can identify you to someone, and that spells out trouble for you. Even if it seems a bit twisted, you can't let that happen, no matter the cost. So you get up and give chase.

The mugger runs in the direction of more alleys instead of the streets in a desperate means to just get away from you and not thinking properly out of fear. This place would be a maze to him, but not to you. You can smell the blood from your bite on his arm, drawing a straightforward path right to him. You hear him calling out for help as he runs. You can tell he's scared, it makes you feel guilty for what you'd need to do when you caught him but it was the only way in your eyes.

Or was there.

Right.

You have some of his blood, you have a little influence over him. If you could just catch up with him, you could maybe keep him from identifying you to the police or someone without killing him.

You manage to find him and now tail him. You want to catch up to him but he's at a distance advantage and you're close to the end of the alleyways, he could make it out before you get to him. It's now or never.

You focus on his blood in your mouth and shout "Stop!" at him, and he does. You want to sign in relief but you could lose your already weak hold. You quickly walk towards him and face him, looking him in the eyes. He looks panicked by the fact that he can't move anything. You ignore it and focus again as you look deep into his eyes, then feel the connection be made for your influence.

You even out your voice, "You don't remember my face." you say.

"You don't remember being chased by anyone." you add.

It always feels a bit jarring when the people you do this with just calm down and enter in the trance-like state they get into when you do this. His eyes and muscles relax entirely, he even drops the plywood he's still holding that you didn't notice before.

"You were... just taking the shortcut through the alley. You don't remember getting bitten by anyone or anything either." you add on as a means to cover up any tracks that would be left in his memory.

You keep the connection as you back away into the shadows, being concealed again and unseen by him and anyone else, and then cut it loose.

The man snaps out of it, looking around confused, most likely confused how he got here and then being shocked at the injury on his arm. He holds the wound as he walks away and out of the alley.

You relax, having managed to nail the mercy even though you had so little to use. "Holy shit." you mutter as you slip down a hatch to the city sewers below to head home.

🩸

"Holy shit..." an unseen man mutters to himself processing the scene he just saw right before him.

And here he thought that his jokes about you were just jokes to mess with the others.

#moon knight #moonknight #moonknight x reader #moon knight x reader #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #jake lockley x reader #vampire reader #vampire au #vampire!reader #dwelling in the night

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