get friendshipped, idiots
Vaggie: “Alright, form up. We stick close, stick together, we get out of here as fast as we can.”
Husk: “No shit.”
Angel Dust: “Aye aye captain Vagatha!” (pulls face) “Ugh…. new guy’s barely even moved in an’ he’s already slitherin’ ‘round my head...”
Husk: “Heh.”
Angel Dust: “Slitherin’ like a hot tongue ‘round a big hard-”
Vaggie: “Wrong side morons. Get on my left.”
Husk: “You can’t see shit on your left.”
Vaggie: “Wow really. Had no idea.”
Husk: “Why the fuck put us there? I don’t want you fucking accidentally stabbing me with that fucking spear of yours.”
Vaggie: “I won’t.”
Angel Dust: “Seeing us hot dudes really that hard on your EYE, huh?”
Vaggie: “Not like that’s an issue with you two around.”
Husk: “Seriously then why the fuck. Your girlfriend always stays on your right, so that’s the safest side to be on.”
Angel Dust: “Oh honey Husk, ya know we can’t compare to smokin’ hot demon princess of hell~”
Vaggie: "Just, get on my left.”
Husk: “Tell me fucking why.”
Vaggie: “Because I’m asking nicely?”
Angel Dust: “Could’a asked it nicer, toots. Could’a said ‘please’.”
Vaggie: “Will you two idiots stop wasting time and get on my fucking left side.”
Angel Dust: “Hmmm, lemme think about it.”
Husk: “No.”
Angel Dust: “I’m with Whisky Whiskers on this one. I’m all for things goin’ in me in general- not from you though. Not when they’re pointy. Not even if it WAS a dick, honestly. Not even if it had batteries an-”
Vaggie: “Alright I get it. I don't need to get your preferred dildo size."
Angel Dust: "How 'bout the brand~?"
Vaggie: "Cállate. Charlie give me patience….”
Husk: “Don’t you mean give me fucking strength?”
Vaggie: “If my demon hell princess girlfriend gave me strength you’d both be dead.”
Angel Dust: “Ya prayin’ to her was so cute I’m gonna ignore that.”
Vaggie: “Look-”
Angel Dust: “Us lookin’ isn’t the worryin’ thing here, Vag-EYE.”
Husk: “Uragh.”
Angel Dust: “Yeah I didn’t think that one through… So toots? Ya gonna admit you don’t mind if we get shived while ya not looking?”
Vaggie: “Not wanting that is WHY I need you on my LEFT, assholes!”
Angel Dust: “Oh Puh-leeease…”
Vaggie: “Shut up.”
Husk: “Wait-”
Angel Dust: “Charlie’s not here, ya don’t have t’ pretend you care-”
Husk: “Wait a fucking second-”
Vaggie: “NO. No more waiting. We’ve wasted that second, thanks to you two. Now shut UP, form up- and get in my fucking blind spot so I can keep my good eye out for your dumb, stupid, undisciplined asses!” (growling) “Ay demonio mio… deja de estar chingando…” (yelling again) “Fall in and don’t fall behind!” (marches off)
Husk: “….”
Angel Dust: “Well fuck that. She don’t got my soul in chains. I ain’t-”
Husk: “She wants us to watch her back.”
Angel Dust: “-whHAt?”
Husk: “You fucking heard me.” (following vaggie) “Come on.”
Angel Dust: (catching up) “You’re kiddin’. She’d sooner get help from a rabid-”
Husk: “She trusts us on her shitty blind side and doesn’t want anything getting the jump on us if she can help it. You heard that, yeah?”
Angel Dust: “…. she could’a just said so.”
Husk: “Like how you always say what you fucking mean?”
Angel Dust: “Sure as sugared tits, Huskers~” (sighs) “Whatever. Charlie Puff’d kill us if anything happens to her anyway.”
Husk: “She wouldn’t. You’d still feel like shit about it.”
Angel Dust: “Whatever.”
-after-
Charlie: “What. Happened.”
Vaggie: (sitting on couch face in hands, eye covered)
Husk: (hunched over, paws over ears)
Angel Dust: (hiding his grin with all four hands)
Charlie: “Guys.” (deep breath) “I’m gonna ask again- You’re covered in blood- which ISN’T yours? Right Vaggie? Definitely not..?”
Vaggie: (nods despondently without looking up)
Charlie: “Okay.” (breathes out) “Okay, we can work with this. But. WHAT. Happened.”
Them: “….”
Charlie: "No?"
Them: "....."
Charlie: "No one is getting off this couch until I hear what happened."
Angel Dust: "Keep sayin' stuff like THAT an' I know one person who'll for SURE be gettin' off-"
Vaggie: (GROANS)
Angel Dust: "See?! SEE!!! She ain't even denying it!"
Husk: "She's planning your funeral."
Angel Dust: "Oh she's plannin' something alright."
Charlie: "If we could not change the subject, please?"
Them: "...."
Charlie: “... Angel Dust. Since you have so much to say, would you mind?”
Angel Dust: (grinning) (grinning)
Angel Dust: “…..it was fucking adorable.”
Husk & Vaggie: (scrunch down)
Charlie: “The BUCKETS OF BLOOD was adorable?”
Angel Dust: “Naw, the-”
Vaggie: "Put a cock in it."
Husk: "You fucking swore-"
Angel Dust: (stretching out across the couch across the other two) “Oh c’mon gays! This is ME we’re talkin’ about-”
Vaggie: (shoving him off) “Don’t touch me.”
Angel Dust: (draped over husk) “-even for hell, this vow of silence shit is TORTURE!”
Husk: “Your whining in my fucking ear is torture.”
Angel Dust: “I could trying moaning instead, if ya want.”
Husk: (hairball sound)
Charlie: “Vaggie. What vow of silence.”
Vaggie: “… the one… that friends should keep for each other..?”
Angel Dust: “MMMMMMRRRRGHGH.”
Charlie: "Wait. Wait- the what..?"
Husk: "The vow of shut the fuck up Angel Dust."
Angel Dust: "MRRRGHGHGH!!!"
Charlie: “Unholy shit.”
Vaggie: "Charlie I swear on my right eye we're not coving up a murder- n, not one we planned on anyway, not premeditated- it was at most a collateral killing-"
Charlie: “Not that. You called them your."
Charlie: (anime eyes) "... friends…?”
Vaggie: “….”
Vaggie: “If I say ‘yes’ will you not ask any more questions about the blood.”
Charlie: (already tearing up) “Ye-ess.”
Vaggie: “Then yes. These two…” (lowers hand) (GLARES) “…. Stupid, annoying, moronic idiots are my.” (grits teeth) “FrIENdS.”
Charlie: (bursting into tears) “OH VAGGIE-! THAT’S SOOOO-”
Angel Dust: (shrieking) “THEY TRIED TAKIN’ A HIT FOR EACH OTHER!!!”
Demon Charlie: (also shrieking) “-a WHAT!?”
Vaggie: “You…. bastard…”
Husk: “We should have left him there to die.”
Angel Dust: “But ya didn’t~”
Charlie: “WHAT HIT WHERE WHAT DO YOU MEAN HIT WHO TRIED HITTING YOU DID THEY HAVE HEAVENLY STEEL WHAT IF THEY HAD HAD HEAVENLY STEEL- VAGGIE WHAT THE F-”
Angel Dust: “Welp!” (gets up)“My sexy work here is done!”
Charlie: “-WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE OUT GETTING FUCKING GROCERIES! HOW MANY TIMES-”
Vaggie: “You ruined everything, asshole.”
Charlie: “-START SENDING DAZZLE OUT WITH YOU AGAIN HOW DOES THIS KEEP-”
Angel Dust: “Correction- I’m getting YOU ruined later tonight, by HER.”
Charlie: “-WASN’T EVEN THERE TO PROTECT YOU IT HAS TO STOP-”
Angel Dust: “Enjoy the feral possessive demon smex, Vagswag~“
Vaggie: “Husk, kill him.”
Husk: “You really can’t go through a single fucking sincere moment without hiding behind sex and shit, can you?”
Vaggie: “Thank you.”
Charlie: (wrapping self around gf) “-ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE OKAY!? AND YOU, HUSK???”
Angel Dust: “They would both fo’ real rather take a knife in the chest before callin’ each other pals, but yeah, other than that they’re just our average fuck ups.”
Charlie: “A WHAT IN THE WHAT!?!?!?”
Angel Dust: “Don’t worry, Princess Charmin’. They hugged it out. It was adorable.” (grins) “I took pics.” (flounces off)
Vaggie: “…. We might need to actually kill him now.”
Husk: “Damn.”
Charlie: (slowly stands)
Charlie: “H u g g i n g . . . ?”
Vaggie & Husk: “Shit.”
Charlie: (beaming) (Looming) “Show me… The HUG..:”
Vaggie: “…..”
Vaggie: “husk quick stab me”
Husk: “fuck no I don’t want to fucking die”
Vaggie: “it’s that or hug!”
Husk: “….stab me instead.”
Charlie: (singing) “The only things getting stabbed around here~! Are all my feeeeeeeeeeels~!”
Charlie: “Oh look Angel Dust sent me the pictures!!!!”
Husk: “We’re killing him.”
Charlie: “Oooooh these would look GREAT on the hotel web site!”
Vaggie: (horror) “Charlie don’t-“
Charlie: “It can be our new FRIENDSHIP banner image!!”
Husk: (bristling) “My fucking reputation-!”
Charlie: “Annnnd done. Perfect! You two look so CUTE, jumping into each other arms like that.”
Vaggie & Husk: (clinging to each other) “NOOOOOO!!”
Charlie: “Exactly! Awww~”
-late night group chat-
charliesgirl: i hate u
AnnoDickus: Congrats toots <3 felt this whole junk heap shake from that last one <3 <3 <3
charliesgirl: fuck u
charliesgirl: do u want a bath waiting in ur room aftr work
AnnoDickus: unholy shit! was it THAT good????
charliesgirl: u were stiff af running for ur life
charliesgirl: do u even stretch
AnnoDickus: Depends~
FourLettersFluffye: do not fucking ask on what.
AnnoDickus: Dicks mostly <3
AnnoDickus: Store bought is great too btw <3 <3 <3
FourLettersFluffye: answer her fucking question.
charliesgirl: my brain needs a bath aftr every talk with u 2 i stc
AnnoDickus: XD "stc"??
charliesgirl: swer 2 charlie
charliesgirl: evry 1 else can go fuck themself
AnnoDickus: XD XD XD you are SO lesbian for her it's painful XD
FourLettersFluffye: shithead.
FourLettersFLuffy: answer her.
AnnoDickus: Yes pleeeeeeease have a hot bath waiting for me to get wet in aaaaaaaall over again~ after a hot day being wet at work~~~
charliesgirl: bubbles y/n
AnnoDickus: What the fuck kinda bath you having that's got no bubbles?????
charliesgirl: i shower y/n
AnnoDickus: Now that's just SAD
charliesgirl: bubbles roger
charliesgirl: gg
AnnoDickus: To get fucked in the shower~?
charliesgirl: gf cuddles asshol
AnnoDickus: Bet you'd be getting it again if you took /baths/ ;D
charliesgirl: charlie cuddles > sex
charliesgirl: gn
<charliesgirl> has fucked off
AnnoDickus: And with that last bit of bullshit at long last the lesbian was defeated
FourLettersFluffye: she cares. maybe fucking answer that.
AnnoDickus: Excuse you?? i did!!!! i said bubbles!!!!!!
FourLettersFluffye: no you fucking didn't.
AnnoDickus: How is cuddling better than sex anyway. Do ppl cum while cuddling? fuk no you don't!!! more of her <3 bullshit <3
FourLettersFluffye: you're so full of it.
AnnoDickus: could be so full of you instead Mr Husky~
FourLettersFluffye: go the fuck to sleep.
<FourLettersFluffye> has fucked off
AnnoDickus: IM not the one with my secret hug pics posted all over the hotel front page
AnnoDickus: Pussies!!!!
<charliesgirl> is turned on
charliesgirl: hav u thot about being real w/ him for 1 sec
AnnoDickus: THOT LMAO
charliesgirl: guevón
charliesgirl: u changed log in notif
AnnoDickus: Maaaaybe I did toots~<3
charliesgirl: fix. it.
AnnoDickus: Nah <3 <3
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