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gglitch1dd · 2 days

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There's a question I've been thinking about

We know that Izuku no cannon went through a war, right? Right. And until the current chapter of the manga, he's not doing very... well. As being visibly more depressed, not sharing your thoughts, once again lying and saying he's fine when he clearly isn't, a few more things.

So I've been wondering, did your Izuku go through all the cannon stuff? If so, did he have any after-effects? After all these years, are there still things that bother him? Did it take him a while to deal with everything?

I am not gonna comment on the new chapters, but I have seen them and understand what you are saying.

First off, I hate tiktok and Tumblr for spoiling MHA for me. Genuinely. Like i have no will to continue past season 4/5 in the anime that I am at because of all the spoilers and everything going on. I already know what's going to happen and all the juicy bits so why bother. so honestly, I have very little to say on it because i prefer my fictional timeline to Horikoshi's.

But yes.

He has gone through those canon stuff, but Izuku realises that he was just a kid that was robbed from him from horrible inhumane villains and incompetent adults that were relying on children to win a war.

Izuku never wanted Toshinori to dorm at UA. He wanted him to go there for school but not live there. Just cause he wanted to be able to see and make sure his son was fine, so that Toshinori never felt the pressure he felt all on him like Izuku did.

Izuku never allows UA, as well as the other hero parents, to allow the kids to do more than a level D/C threat villains, so petty thieves and bank robberies is for them. Anything higher than that is for their parents to do and for them to do only once they are adult sidekicks at their parents side. Even when interning with their parents, anything higher than a B level threat, they are sent right back to the agency to watch from the side-lines like everyone else.

Izuku doesn't sleep well after the war, and I think he's on medication for a long time but he learns to get off of it.

However, when he starts a family with Y/N Izuku becomes paranoid. But not bad paranoid. Like he does EVERYTHING to ensure his family's safety. Its the reason why he NEVER talks about when reader is pregnant to the media.

He also sincerely, hates the public. He feeds into them, makes sure he looks good, makes sure that he gets their approval to stay top of the charts, but Izuku quickly pushes for legislation to protect heroes against the public and keep their rights as human beings.

For example,

Something in my The Contract universe is that Izuku was the one to pitch the idea of the Horikoshi Heroes' Hospital which is ONLY for heroes and their families to give them guaranteed privacy.

I also have a headcanon that the public gets angry over government spending particularly, how much heroes get paid and Izuku literally comes out as the Number One hero and says.

"If you don't like how much we get paid to risk our lives to save yours, that's fine. Every hero in japan will be granted paid leave for the next week by the Deku Agency and the Hero Commission. No hero services will be available and only the police, EMTs, firefighters and other none hero emergency services will be available."

Leaves the press briefing and he goes back home, switches off his phone and takes a long nap.

Does he care that after he comes back downstairs after only 4 hours of being off on forced leave, that Japan is already in upheaval?

No.

Does he care the next day that his phone is blowing up with people begging heroes to come back?

Not at all.

That man only comes back to hero work sooner than planned because you force him to.

-Glitch1d

#izuku midoria x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #dilf izuku x reader #dilf izuku #dilf midoriya #dilf izuku midoriya x reader #dilf izuku midoriya #izuku midoriya x reader #deku x reader #glitch1d questions

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runninriot · 2 days

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inspired by the song Solitude by Black Sabbath, written for @steddiesongfics june song fics

Memories I Have Remind Me Of You

wc: 1999 | rated: T | tags: modern au, friends to lovers to exes to lovers, marriage proposal, dealing with heartbreak and regrets, Steve needs a little push from a stranger to make it right, sad but with a happy ending

The girl is nice. She’s pretty. Big eyes, plush lips, a kind smile, dimples.

Fucking dimples.

Her hair’s long and curly, doesn’t remind Steve of anyone in particular.

It doesn’t.

He does not think about someone else when the warm colour of her brown irises makes him remember.

Steve tries to listen when she talks, tries to laugh when she giggles sweetly, tries not to jerk away when she brushes his hand in a flirty manner but it’s hard to focus when his mind isn’t where it should be.

Did she just ask him a question?

“You didn’t even listen, huh?”

Steve shakes his head, looks back up at her, tries for an apologetic smile but to his confusion, she doesn’t even seem mad at him for not paying attention.

No, it’s worse.

She’s got that empathic, knowing look in her eyes. Like she can see right through him.

You’re so easy to read, baby.

He was never good at pretending.

“I’m not boring you, am I.”

It’s not really a question. The girl knows she’s a good catch, knows she isn’t the problem – Steve is.

“No, uh. Sorry, I-“

Who is he even trying to fool? No excuse he’s trying to come up with would be good enough because if he looks how he feels, it must be written all over his face. No way to hide the obvious.

I can see it in your eyes, baby. Your eyes always tell the truth.

Steve should’ve known it was a bad idea the moment he saw her picture, noticed the similarities. She instantly reminded him of-

He shouldn’t have agreed to this date.

Not because he doesn’t like her, no. She’s perfect, really. Or she would be.

They matched on a dating app, texted a bit back an forth. She was fun to talk to, made him laugh. And when she asked him if he wanted to meet, he thought that maybe it would help. That maybe this was his sign to finally get his ass back out there. He’d been holed up at home for too long. Sulking, sad, depressed.

Life just hasn’t been the same ever since.

His favourite meal has lost its taste. His favourite songs all sound off-key. Going to his favourite bar just seems like a waste of time - Steve’s life has lost its light, making everything seem dark and grey and dull.

Nothing is right anymore because everything reminds him of Eddie.

And Steve himself is the one to blame for his misery.

“I-“ Steve hesitates. He doesn’t want to bother her with his mess, didn’t come here to whine about things he can’t change. She didn’t come here to listen to him talk about his goddamn ex for fuck’s sake!

“What’s wrong?” she asks and Steve knows there’s no point in trying to pretend that everything’s fine when nothing ever is. Not anymore.

“I’m sorry for being such bad company,” Steve apologises and means it. She deserves better, could’ve gone on a date with someone worth spending her time with.

Someone actually interested in... something. Anything. Whatever it is she’s looking for.

Steve’s not it, that much is clear.

He’s not ready to move on. Maybe he never will be. Because what he had was all he ever wanted, all he ever needed to be happy. Life was good, perfect, before he ruined it all. Let the love of his life slip away because he was too afraid of the what ifs. So he pushed and he fought and he hurt the one that would’ve given him everything.

Now, Steve is just an empty shell of the man he used to be. Because the day Eddie left, he took Steve’s heart and soul with him, left him empty and broken and sad.

So fucking sad.

“You remind me of my ex.” The words are out before he can swallow them back down.

“Oh,” she answers, expression neutral. “Bad break-up?”

Steve nods. He doesn’t want to talk about it, doesn’t want to think about the day his whole life fell apart but-

“It was my fault. He left me because I fucked it up.”

The truth still hurts, even after all those months.

“What did you do?”

Steve and Eddie had met through a mutual friend, Dustin. It wasn’t quite love at first sight but close to it.

They quickly became friends, started hanging out on weekends, then, soon, even during the week. Spending the evenings after work at each other’s places, cooking dinner together, watching movies, talking.

Steve had never felt so drawn to another person, had never felt so comfortable in someone else’s presence. Eddie was... he was funny, kind, loud and wild. He had all these big dreams about what he wanted to do with his life. Dreams that were so very different from the small-town life Steve had always resigned himself to. Eddie wanted to travel the country, sleep under the stars, wake up next to a lake, follow the wind to wherever it would take him.

He wanted to be free.

But he stayed.

Eddie stayed because when they shared their first kiss in a weak moment of alcohol-fuelled recklessness, they ignited a fire that became too big too fast, making it impossible to smother the flames before they turned into burning desire that took a hold of them both. Scorching its way into their hearts where it settled, warm and bright, making light in every dark corner of their being.

It was the second first kiss that sealed their fate – a sober, slow, and tentative kiss in the low light of the morning sun that wiped away any worries and doubts Steve had when he woke up in Eddie’s arms after a night spent giving into their unspoken feelings as they took each other apart, not thinking about the consequences.

Knowing what it was like to wake up next to each other made it impossible to go back to simply being friends, to stay apart, to not fall in love.

Eddie and Steve were meant to be.

Together, everything felt right.

Eddie willingly put his own dreams aside for Steve who knew he could never repay him for the sacrifices he made just to be with him, tried to thank him every day by showing and telling him how much he loved him. And things were good, perfect.

Until-

“I don’t understand,” she says quietly when Steve takes a moment to breathe away the ache in his heart and the tears threatening to spill, “that sounds like a dream come true. What happened?”

Steve smiles sadly, sighs.

“Yeah, felt like a dream, too. But the thing with dreams is that no matter how beautiful they are, inevitably you will wake up.”

And a beautiful dream it was. Life was full of love and laughter and happy moments spent together, until Eddie proposed and Steve said No and the world tumbled down.

Because it was in that moment – with Eddie down on one knee, the simple gold ring Steve knew had belonged to Eddie’s uncle held between his thumb and finger as an offer, a promise to be his forever – that Steve realised he couldn’t do this to him. He couldn’t marry Eddie and keep him trapped in a life he never wanted just because Steve was too scared of giving up the safety of his home for a life on the road with no destination ahead and an unforeseeable future.

Steve said no to set him free but even then Eddie kept fighting for him, fucking apologised for putting ‘so much pressure’ on Steve with his question which- was insane because Eddie had done nothing wrong, ever. He had never been anything but wonderful and considerate and perfect. Steve had been the one not willing to compromise, who inadvertently put Eddie in a cage of his own making.

So he pushed and he fought and he hurt Eddie in order to give him back his freedom, thinking, believing he was doing the right thing. It was only when Eddie packed his bags and left that Steve realised he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

The moment Eddie walked out the door without looking back, Steve knew he had lost everything.

“Where is he now?”

“Hm?”

“Eddie. Where did he go?”

“I, uh...” Steve shouldn’t know the answer to this but he does. Because Dustin told him. Tells him whenever he gets a call or another letter from Eddie, ignoring the fact that it tears Steve apart every time. Or maybe he does it on purpose, punishing Steve for hurting his friend. And Steve lets him, never complains, always holds back his tears until he’s back in his fortress of solitude, where he can drown in his pain and sorrow.

He deserves to suffer for what he did.

“He’s in Michigan.”

“Huh.” She cocks her head, smiles. “It’s been what, 5 months you said? Pretty sure he could’ve gotten a lot further by now.”

“What do you mean?”

“For someone who’s always wanted to travel the whole damn country, he didn’t make it that far.”

“Eddie never made plans on where he wanted to go. Maybe he found a nice place to stay for a while before he lets his heart take him somewhere else.”

“Staying conveniently close for no reason whatsoever. Got it,” she scoffs.

Steve looks at her with pleading eyes, needs her to stop giving him ideas, can’t allow himself to let hope bloom.

“He’s free to go wherever he wants.”

“Maybe what Eddie really wants is for you to tell him to come home.”

Her words hit him hard like a slap across the face, ringing loudly in his ears.

“What if- What if he doesn’t?”

“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

-------

“You left me.”

It’s not meant as an accusation, sounds like one though. And Steve can see in the way Eddie furrows his brows and tightens his lips, that it wasn’t the right thing to say.

“You told me to.” Eddie’s answer is short but calm, not filled with anger like Steve expected.

“I wanted you to stay!”

He knows it isn’t fair because Steve did tell him to leave. What right does he have to want him back, to ask for forgiveness?

“I didn’t want you to leave but I was scared that you’d wake up one day and realise that being with me isn’t enough. That being in love isn’t worth giving up your dreams. You shouldn’t have to give up your dreams for me! I should’ve gone with you. I love you. I-”

Steve is crying, can’t stop shaking. He’s so angry at himself, feels so powerless and stupid. And Eddie just stands there and stares at him confused like he doesn’t know that Steve would do everything for a second chance.

Just when Steve is about to give up, turns to go because if he stays here any longer, he’ll fall to his knees and make an even bigger fool of himself than he already has, two strong arms wrap around him from behind, keeping him from walking away.

“Don’t go,” Eddie whispers into his hair, tightens his grip to emphasise his words. “Stay.”

It’s what Steve should’ve said all those months ago, when he said the opposite instead.

Slowly, Steve turns within the arms holding him until he’s facing Eddie again. Eddie, who is so close now, Steve could bring their lips together by only moving in another inch or two. Could kiss away the tears running down Eddie’s cheeks.

“I can’t live without you, Eddie.”

“Then let me be with you.”

Their third first kiss is an angry one, rough and desperate. Full of regrets they swallow from each other’s lips, drinking them up to make them go away. To make it better. To make it right.

“Marry me, Steve.”

The answer comes easy this time - one word, a promise.

Forever, never apart, wherever it'll take them.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steddie fic #steddiesongfics #writing prompt

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equinelifecountry · 2 days

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Drowning

Warning: depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, anxiety. torcher, blood, self-harm (If missed anything lmk) Description: realizing that she was never enough for him and deciding the world might just be better without her in it

part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It has been three weeks since Azriel's and I talk in the kitchen during that early morning run in, he has been stealing glances more often now but still most of his attention is taking by that sweet Elain. As those three went by it has been getting hard to even be in the same room has everyone since I knew that those two would be basically on top of each other it seems, maybe I am just overreacting about the whole thing I should be happy for Azriel that he is happy and he found someone that makes him feel that way but why does it hurt so much though.

Cold sweat coats my skin, my breathing is fast and labored. Running as fast as my legs can carry me the branches of the trees rip my skin as I fly through them trying to escape, the wetness of the blood dripping down across my skin burns like fire and ice. Laughter and screams echos in the dark. RUN! RUN! RUN! WORTHLESS! WHORE! USELESS! I covered my ears with my hands and fell down to the ground and screamed, the ground opened up and I fell into the darkness I reached up for anyone to help me my own screams now echoed in the dark hollowness... no came so I fell down, down until...

I gasped and sprung up right holding my chest trying to catch my breath a dream it was a dream. flinging the covers off my burning body and walked over to the window and looked out towards the lights of Velaris the night sky was full of the stars that look like they were alive I tried to calm myself but all those feelings that I was feeling in that night terror came rushing back and hit me like a brick wall and then the tears came rushing down my cheeks "worthless... useless..." I looked down at myself and wrapped my arms around myself "unwanted." it hit me then, that all of that is in fact true. Turning I made my way to my bathroom and shut the door be hide me locking it.

Seeing my reflection in the mirror the tears started to run down my face again I am a shell of the person I once was. Opening the medicinal cabinet, I grab my razor blade and the vile of fae-bane, lacing the blade this liquid I slide down the side of the tub and sat on the floor bring my right arm across my lap and looking down at the scares that now ghost the skin, silent tears fell from my face while I took the razor blade and ran across my skin the burn from the fae-bane made me winced but that soon passed and I see the blood start to bead up then I again to the blade slicing it across my skin again, again and again until all I saw was red. The razor dropped on the floor leaning my head back on the side of the tub tears drained my face just the words echoed in my mind "worthless, useless, unwanted." over and over again.

Azriel's POV

Tossing and turning sleep was not finding me once again tonight seems like it just has been getting worse the last three weeks, setting up I ran my hands down my face looking out towards the window seeing the night sky full of stars that seems a little dimmer than normal I flung the blankets off and made my way to the bathroom the faelight came on and looked myself in the mirror the dark circles formed under my eyes signing I turn to leave and try to find sleep once more when a shadow came up to me in panic HURT HURT the shadow bounced back and forth in a hurry panicking more and more NEEDS HELP HURT now I felt the panic start to form inside me as I made it to my bedroom door to the hallway and stopped "who?!" I spoke the shadows that zipped to the door across the hall Y/N my heart felt like it was about to explode out of my chest as I ran across the hall and flung y/n's door open to see her bed a mess and the room dark my shadows took off all at once to the bathroom door where I see the light shining through the crack of the door and sprinted to the door trying to opening it but it was locked, my shadows went under the door and only a few came back to me yelling at me HURT I banged and banged on the door "Y/N! Y/N! OPEN THE DOOR!" I banged on the door again "fuck this." I whisper to myself I took a step back and kicked the door with much force the lock broke and pushed through the door "y/n!" falling down to my knees grabbing her pulling her close "no no no no... stay with me, wake up. Wake up y/n." I yelled for Rhysand in my mind telling him to get here has fast has he can and to bring Madja. Looking down I see y/n looking at me with silent tears running down her cheeks my own tears were now starting to fall. "you're going to be okay, Rhys and Madja are coming." she looked at me, like she was looking right into my soul "I'm sorry Az..." I shook my head before I could respond to her Rhysand and Madja rushed in "Get her to the bed now!" they both seems to yell I set her down carefully on to her bed "now move! I got to get to work!" Madja demanded Rhysand pushed me out the door and shut me out while he returned to help Madja. Tears poured down my face as I looked up and seen Cassian and Nesta watching me with worried looks, it was Cassian that spoke first "W-what happened?" his own voice cracked I looked at him my body started to shake "I-i don't k-know..."

#acotar #acotar fanfic #azriel acotar #azriel acotar x reader #azriel angst #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #azriel x reader angst #azriel #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #acotar series #sjm #sjmaas

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ingydar-g-phan · 11 hours

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Happy birthday Dan. I found you at a very, very low point in my life. It’s funny, because that point was only a few months ago. March 3rd. March 3rd. Jesus Christ. I was dealing with severe bullying, depression, hopelessness, isolation, gender dysphoria (i have been out/socially transitioned for like 5 years), and most of all, loneliness. I had a circle of about 3 friends who i talked to regularly, but only 1 i even saw in person more than once per year. Then, two of those 3 people began having relationship issues and were on the verge of breaking up. I felt like i was a bother, a burden to their already existing issues. Every single day I’d walk into school, put my headphones on, and not talk to a single person. I’d read, sleep, listen to music, dissociate, and sleep some more throughout the day just to distract myself from everything. From class, from parents, from the outside, everything. I fully and truly believed everyone besides those 3 people hated me. They found me disgusting, annoying, taking up space, and simply didn’t want me there. I think that is true to an extent, but i don’t like how i was just letting that be how it is. My dad was genuinely hopeless, he told me to just ride it out and if i could try to be just a little bit normal-er, maybe i wouldn’t be ignored by every person every day. That didn’t work. Instead, i decided to do some self work. Or rather, my dad stopped intruding on my free time which allowed me to still be awake and do things i wanted to do in peace. I thought, “Dan and Phil….those two emo guys with the cat whiskers….i have such a vague memory of a friend mentioning them or scrolling across a post of them, who even are they?”. I typed into the YouTube search bar “Dan and Phil”. A gaming channel? Are these people streamers? Oh god (i did not know you were one of us 🏳️‍🌈….or british…..). I watched one video. Now, ACCORDING TO YOUTUBE HISTORY, i somehow watched What Dan And Phil Text Each Other 4 as my first video. Not even the gaming channel, i don’t know how this happened maybe YouTube is lying to me. Whatever. Ok so which ones Dan and which ones Phil? Why do they look SO different? They’re British? I started watching Dan and Phil edits on TikTok. Ok, i know who you are, i get the vibes. Oh, coming out timeline? Gaming channel timeline and hiatus? Reacting to PINOF? On March 13, i watched Basically I��m Gay and Coming Out To You. It took me an entire month from then to watch Why I Quit YouTube. By late April, i was in it. I was watching Dan or Phil every day. Before, during, and/or after school. Since then, I’ve purchased YWGTTN (limited edition signed updated paperback). It was 38 fucking dollars in USD but it was worth it. I also now own TATINOF and DAPGO, one of which is signed by Phil, i bought second hand. So yes, now this is my new thing. But you know what else? I was getting happier. I was going to more concerts. I was doing my schoolwork, or at least trying to. I was reading!!!! I’ve since finished The Secret History. I made a friend; reconnected with an old childhood friend and started eating lunch together and hanging out and having shared trauma dump sessions, and we are so so close now. My two friends broke up, but it’s ok. I’m best friends with one of them and he’s so much better off, and the other and i are still casual friends!! I value them both for the multiple years I’ve known them. I’ve taken family vacations and done religious holidays with genuine care while getting to reconnect with my family. I’ve very passionately finished acting in a musical that I’ve put so much care into for about 5 months. I’m graduating tomorrow!!! And me and my close friend will be going to a concert tomorrow night afterwards, and I’m going to have a great summer where i see my close friend who i haven’t seen IRL since March of 2023. I’m getting closer with my dad and seeing a new therapist. I am having medical problems as of right now, but i would 100% be lying in bed crying and skipping graduation had i not found a reason to enjoy my days.

Did i just take one sentence referencing Dan to write a whole autobiography on tumblr? Yes, but also no. Dan and Phil are real people. They really do rescue pigeons named Steve and getting 10 sauces for their pizza and say hi across the city with binoculars. But they also genuinely have an impact on people, and they see that, and they LIKE to see that. I don’t think Dan will see this post. But I’m making it anyway. For me.

I love Dan so much. I cried twice while watching We’re All Doomed in my kitchen. I have actively watched Dan and Phil videos while crying at school. Once, in my bedroom, i was having a panic attack. I had an overwhelming rush of thoughts around 10 or 11 at night about how worthless i am and how terrible everything was going. I opened my tiktok, and there was THE edit that saved me. It was a video of fetus Dan on YouNow talking about his dream home. And then it was cutting back and forth to the Phouse. Then, Dans hopeful monologue in Basically I’m Gay. Finally, Dans hopeful monologue in We’re All Doomed. All of this in a softly shaky screen with sad music behind it. I cried a lot. This aspect of my life means so much to me. I think about the Halloween 2023 baking video at least 5 times a day (and sister Daniel’s….uhm….legs…). I am still so mad i did not buy the satanic Craft shirts. I just rewatched Dans interview last year with Anthony Padilla just because of how goddamn much I’m obsessed with that angle of Dan with his cute chin and cheeks and fucking dimple. I think about Dans bluntness in his defined-self and truly feel inspired to be like him. I look at his change over the years, his comfortability in his body, seeing that his face and neck are shaped like my face and neck, and he’s fucking beautiful. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable in my weight if not for Dan Howell, and i mean that so insanely sincerely. I read Dans book whenever I’m feeling hopeless and need a soft sexy British man to tell me the scientific reasoning behind why i feel this way and to assure me he’s felt worse. I’m so serious when i say i cannot imagine a day of my life without Dan and Phil. I truly don’t understand how i lived before or how I’d expect to live without it. “Live”, in the sense of find a way of life, not as in “stay alive.” I can’t imagine a day without those big brown boba eyes and that cute dimple and mainly that calming voice that reminds me someone else has felt this way. That reminds me love is possible. That reminds me i have so much ahead of me, so much life and love and joy.

Phil’s birthday stream may be my favorite piece of Dan and Phil media, or at least one of them. I find it so comforting and wholesome and beautiful and hilarious. I have such high hopes for Dans birthday stream. Until then, I’ll be working on my long-awaited (still very very unfinished) 2009!Dan and Phil art piece within my art initiative (pinned on my profile) (just for funsies, no money or anything involved). I’m going to sit there at 3pm (my time) and watch with a huge smile on my face to see my amazing dads spend the time of their lives being sexy and old and happy and disgustingly homosexual while i just embrace all you’ve done for me.

Happy birthday Dan

@danielhowell

#dan and phil #daniel howell #dan howell #phan #amazingphil #dnp #dan and phil games #dans birthday #happy birthday #dnpgames #d&p #phil lester

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eddiediazismyhusband · 22 hours

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Hi! I just wanted to say that I like your attitude and resilience (I'm a weak man, and every toxic anti-buddie/anti-buddie-shippers/pro bucktommy idea just hits me straight in the heart).

I don't understand how people can suddenly start hating Buddie because of "crazy fans", but still be smitten by bucktommy despite of how crazy some of their fans are.

And I really hate that they have this ammunition (their ship still going, Eddie happening to be hetero) to bully us with (haven't Buddie shippers been through enough of hate these past six years? And who knows how much more of it we'll have to yet to go through...)

Ah, sorry for the rant😅

The long ass message anon from lenaboskow's asks xD

🏝️

awwwww, thank you anon 😭 <3

if i’m being honest, the public resilience comes from years of being bullied and ridiculed, so at this point hate (especially anonymous hate) just rolls off my back bc atp it’s just par for the course with these people.

i definitely understand the toxicity hitting you right in the feels though. i have mentioned before but i have really bad anxiety and depression, and there are times when if i haven’t taken my meds i will start to spiral over the smallest things (just ask @lenaboskow who has been present for a lot of this unmedicated spiraling)… so i definitely understand that some of the toxicity and hate can be hard. especially when the writers continued to give them ammunition after seeing what what was happening on twitter during the premiere period of season 7.

I’ve been a buddie shipper since s2. I have put up with seeing ridicule and disrespect from the fandom for shipping buddie for years (granted i only started getting actively involved in the fandom very recently, i still kept up with cast interviews, articles, etc. and could see plenty of it there) so i understand it can be hard seeing so many people that once were hardcore buddie shippers suddenly turning into violently hateful stan accounts for this new ship is jarring and disappointing… i have seen so many of my favorite fic writers turn into anti-buddie-eddie-bashing enthusiasts seemingly overnight and it’s hard to see.

that being said, i still have not lost hope. abc and tptb see what is happening— they see screeners being harassed for talking about buddie, they see buddie shippers getting doxxed and getting death threats, they see lou stirring the pot (though thankfully it seems something has been done about that)

these creators know that stoking this kind of fandom behavior is not okay- they know that it’s a bad idea to reward toxicity and hate. they have also been the ones actively laying the groundwork for buddie for six years. a lot of the writers actually care about buck AND eddie, rather than just buck (regardless of whatever is going on in kristen reidel’s cesspool of a creative mind), and we know that queer eddie has been discussed at length before to the point where the queer storyline of s7 was almost eddie’s. these writers see what we see, the actors see what we see, tim minear sees what we see.

i don’t know what they have in store for next season, but regardless of whether or not we get buddie canon, i am very optimistic that the pilot won’t be around much longer, especially after the drama and toxicity he has stirred up within the fandom, bc the last thing a network tv show wants is bad press, and that situation has the potential to boil over into something much worse if they didn’t put a stop to it immediately.

anyway, anon, never apologize for sending a long ask, i love to yap and i love being an outlet for people to vent if they need to <3 i believe in you, that you will be able to withstand this blip in the fandom; as someone who’s had to go through similar situations in other fandoms it will not matter a year from now once everyone has moved on. unfortunately we are caught upnin the novelty of it, but once it either peters out or becomes a sort of “new normal” (which i hope it is the former and not the latter) it will be so much easier to bear with.

i hope you have a lovely morning, afternoon, or evening, sweet anon 💕💕

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mimbotomy · 10 months

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With no pressure at all to answer this or update, WHENST might we expect the final chapter of There Is No Escape?

And who has been your favorite Hades character to write?

So not so funny story, I had about 70% or so of the final chapter written, but about a month ago now something horrible happened and it all went poof 💨 Whatever happened actually messed up a couple of my WIPs, because fuck me I guess, so the next updates for Not a Malákes Ravenclaw and the Children of Kephallonia are going to be even longer than initially expected too 😬

I was able to go back in the history of my google docs and recover some of my work for those fics, but it was a bit of the straw that broke the camel’s back type thing because my life hasn’t been the most fun recently and I just kinda set all writing aside. But I started writing again a couple days ago and while it’s been slow going it’s going good so far! I don’t really want to give myself a deadline bc I’m already under enough stress as is but I’m hoping to have it up sometime in the first half of September at the latest🤞🏼

As for my favorite Hades character to write, it feels like cheating to say Zagreus. But also Zagreus 😂 It’s just been really fun to get inside his head! Besides Zag though, I’d have to say Meg or Hades. I really enjoyed writing Zag and Meg’s conversation in the last chapter, brief as it was, and Phoibe and Hades’ interactions in the upcoming chapter have been really fun to write. He’s definitely one of the more difficult characters to write in this fic though, which is another reason the last chapter isn’t done yet lol.

(Thank you for the serotonin juice ❤️)

#ac odyssey #ask me about my fics!#I am so depressed and like talking about them so much #and my fiancé is such a slow reader he’s not even halfway through the children of Kephallonia and he started in JUNE #for lack of a better tag

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moeblob · 19 days

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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.

#my characters #i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw #noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors #at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck #guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing #and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act #like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask #cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff #and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on #but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like #YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away #and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally #then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him #if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not #an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind #and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta #anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet #rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye #i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious #so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed

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bringina · 2 years

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Absolutely adore how all of Agott's growth spanning across the whole series is finally culminating into what we've seen of her in past multiple chapters, and I love love love how Coco is at the center of it all, as she always has been.

The Silver Night Procession is, given the, ya know *gestures towards the mess that is Agott's family situation*, extremely important to Agott. In her mind, lot hinges on how she will be able to present herself.

Yeah, we had a Whole Damn Talk about this, but it's not like that desire to prove herself fo her family just poofs out of existence ya know? I'm certain Agott is very much aware her mother will show up any moment, if she isn't already at the parade, and hoping she can do something about impressing her, even if it's not Agott's sole reason for participating anymore.

And yet, the second she sees Coco locked up in terror

(which btw like, am I reaching or does this scarily mirror Agott's flashback to her younger self crumbled on the floor. I'm willing to put this on my brain grasping for angsty implications but I digress)

When Agott sees her she immediately rushes to her. Zero hesitation. Fuck her reputation and fuck her family, Coco being in despair is magnitudes more important.

And I just vibe with this so much y'all like, Agott is so ride of die for Coco. I don't know how many people ship them, personally I'm in the camp of "Agott has a crush on Coco the size of an ocean and it'd be very cute if they held hands more often" but they're just. Precious. And then Kamome Shirahama still didn't think we're cheering loud enough and drops the Arco/Orufrey parallel like.

*waves my hands around wildly* Are you seeing what I'm seeing. How else am I supposed to interpret this. Poetic cinema.

#witch hat atelier #wha #tongari boushi no atelier #tnba #agott arkrome #wha agott #wha coco #arco #arco to orufrey paralels my beloved #i am goin feral over baby WLWs #agotts growth across the whole series is one of my favorite things about the manga and we do not talk NEARLY enough about how good it is #i will make a post about her character arc someday because like. wake up people its right there in front of us and so beautiful #i adore agott so much you have no goddamn idea she really is just so chef kiss. crops watered depression cured etcetera #bringie talks #oh shoot i should tag them spoilers #wha spoilers #tbna spoilers #arkco

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queseraphita · 7 months

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It didn't truly strike me harder how devastating the grief and trauma Cheng Xiaoshi felt about that Chen Xiao mission and how he was probably raised in that part of China by his parents and having to confront the feelings of all the people he had bonds with in that area until i was reading posts from Chinese readers explaining how Cheng Xiaoshi has a northern accent and Lu Guang has a southern Chinese accent

#like i knew knew from the story and i vaguely remember that event in 2008 on the news as a child #which also just fucks me up just being similar age as these characters #but i am just depressed and sad knowing that cxs grieved cx's mother with that lullaby #i personally feel like that mission was what allowed cxs to truly grieve the absence of his parents and the possibility that theyre dead #everything about it breaks my heart but i sympathize with that grief that won't let you cry #cxs unshakeable faith being rocked by vicariously feeling the ups and downs of love from a parent #shiguang daili ren #link click #mikh talks #i always end up missing those nuances but i end up appreciating them x10 more #this show is made with so much love hope grief yearning despair

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freebooter4ever · 1 month

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dear mom, one day ill be living in a big old city and all youll ever be is mean :)

#for all my friends with abusive alcoholic bullies for mothers out there :)#jrnlsht #i have tentatively tentatively let my friend at the artists house into my life #sometimes people call her my mom and i dont correct them #and i think she would let me adopt her as family completely if i wasnt so afraid of it #sometimes i freak out because i rely on her too much in a way that is beyond friendship and then i isolate until she reminds me its ok im o #she knows more about me than anyone else in the world #when im sad she lets me be sad #when i was depressed when i was young my mother would hit me #and that difference alone should provide justification for people to shut the fuck up about how i should keep talking to my mother #i am terrified of emotional closeness because a part of me still believes that as soon as i let someone be as close as family #that person will turn abusive #from a young age I understood that my mother believed she could abuse us because we were family and we could not escape #people are like so your mother was a horrible person #no. not true. she was gorgeous charming witty she could befriend anyone. she was the most generous person i have ever known #she spent all her kindness on other people and saved all the cruelty for us kids and i both understood it but never understood it growing u

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coquelicoq · 6 days

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incredibly moved whenever someone tells me that i'm an easy person to be around when they're going through some shit. there's nothing more sacred to me than sitting with someone through death and grief and loss, things that i can't fix or do anything about except be there and let them feel their feelings without having to pretend to be chipper or hopeful or cheeruppable. i can't pretend to feel what i don't feel, which makes me weird and awkward in so many interpersonal situations, but i think it's also what makes people feel comfortable sharing this stuff with me, because they know that i won't judge them and they don't have to perform for me. i feel so lucky when i can provide that for somebody. i wouldn't trade it for anything.

#i wish my friends didn't have to go through hard shitty stuff. but when they do - because we all do sometimes - i am so thankful that #they feel they can share it with me #it's amazing how much a difference it makes to just be there and be genuine and not burden them with expectations #of how they should be reacting to something. like i guess that's pretty rare #and i sort of stumbled into it by being incapable of faking emotion. so i couldn't be fake chipper even if i wanted to #idk i feel like my first reaction when someone says this is like. i didn't even do anything?#but sometimes that's what you need! i think people get so in their head about doing and saying the exact right thing #and somehow 'fixing' someone's pain #when what actually matters is just being there. even if you don't know what to say. even if there's nothing you can do #just being there and letting them be sad. so they don't have to also be alone while they're sad #i can't make my friends less sad & that's almost never my goal. they're sad bc sad shit is happening. they need to be allowed to feel it #which i think probably also stems from my own history of depression and suicidality and the ways that people have reacted to that #i'm sure trying to help me but in reality actually just making me feel like i couldn't talk to anyone about it #because everyone just needed me to be okay #but i wasn't okay. and being expected to pretend like i was so other people wouldn't have to worry was making it harder #and more isolating. so i guess i just never want anyone to feel like if they're in pain they have to be alone #grief #relationships #my posts

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a-little-bit-poss · 2 months

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#hit me that wow i survived childhood #i dont think ive ever really given myself credit for that #ive always deflected it #i always had to like present like a plan of the future to my mom so i never really carried the thought of like #not surviving #but like i was always very self destructive and cataclysmic and splitting #and i never really recognized that about myself until i really started dealing with debilitating depression in college #college and dropping out and going back #i never really synthesized that time in life as a singular version of myself #cuz i was going thru a lot of changes in those years #i am having a lil bit of a 'who am i' thing right this moment #idk #anti depressants are good #well im funny and im chill i know that much #i have music and shows that i like #i like taking pictures of my cat and making patches #painting and drawing #my brain has always been faster with ideas than words and that why i used to stutter #that and my mom wanted me to be right handed which idk but i was told that had something to do with it #ill take any opportunity to be smug because i think its funny #i angst about how i miss my family but i objectively do better the less i talk to them #im really glad i dont want to hurt myself these days

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melto · 3 months

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my birthday week is like a fight for my fucking life.

#like i dont like my birthday bc i dont like attention and also bc the fact i am still alive when i never planned to be is so heavy #which makes it feel like all of a sudden i have a timer and i need to kiilllmyself #but mostly. The biggest issue is i think of my exbest friend bc it was our week always even if they treated me horrible #and i would just go along with whatever they wanted even if i hated it and i just think about them think about them think about them #and i dont want them in my life but i will talk myself into missing them #and feel guilty like its my fault like i deserved everything they did to me like i should never be allowed to move past it #and then i get so embarassed over how i let them rule my life and ruin so much for me and made me break away from people i care about #but then its like im so lonely at least they were always there even if they hated me #even if they wanted me to be so miserable even if they just wanted to know they would always have someone to push around #And i still have trouble when it comes to food im still scared of opening up to people im still scared of my friends of buying new clothes #somehow everything they said to and about me was true even though none of it is and it hurt me and ruined so much #but i must have deserved it. they were supposed to know me best. and i never have known myself #so everything they had said about me has been true for so long.#every time i have the thought that i miss them i think i need to crash my car #every year it gets better every week it is easier but its been so bad recently its been so bad i feel like pieces of me are falling apart #i dont want to manifest this year it being bad bc its just starting to get easier after my total depressive state but god #im looking at are they made for me years ago and i want to rip it apart but i cant every time i try i almost throw up.#i think im going to throw up right now.#deeply pathetic.#news with isaac

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wild-at-mind · 3 months

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Not reblogging it for reasons, but I really agree with that person on here who said people are reframing depression and generally feeling shit all the time as a good thing because of the horrors of Gaza. There are people on here heavily implying that you feeling bad and finding it more and more difficult to live with yourself is actually an appropriate response to war and genocide. In some way, it might be. But the thing is, where does that lead? Does it lead to decisive action in accordance to your values, or to nihilistic stewing and self isolation from your community?

The post went on to call it anti-recovery culture- I don't know if I would call it that, because I get why people don't like recovery culture, especially in relation to addiction, but mental illness also. I think that's something I'm not qualified to speak on. So I wouldn't call this anti-recovery culture. Instead I would call it pro-burnout in activism culture. Do you honestly think people who are the most productively working in their communities and participating in actions to help overseas are feeling like this? Or do you think they have learned to use self-accountability and community support to reign themselves in when they begin to burn out emotionally, and rest and recuperate their mind in order to come back stronger? Ask yourself, is that wrong of them to do, because they should be feeling bad, because after all that is the appropriate response....does it mean they don't care, because they don't spend all their time feeling shit? Or perhaps, the truth is, they do care, and are demonstrating it all the time, but they also understand that them feeling shit literally doesn't help anyone. Why can we not talk about or acknowledge this?

#i don't want to make out like i'm some amazing activist- absolutely am not talking about myself here #but i think they key thing is activism is best done as a group and one of the group's important functions is caring for one another #if you see an activist framework that encourages people to isolate from others it's not leading anywhere good- avoid #please do not let these ghouls trick you into thinking your depression and shit feelings are the right thing to feel #or that it's wrong to not want to have them any more #as that other post said: no thought crimes and also no thought activism #it's just thoughts and they don't do anything without actions and guess what makes you unable to do actions? (depression)#by the way i wish there was a better word than burnout to talk about this because it's so associated with work and capitalism #but it's a thing- i have seen it through my environmental activism group over the past 4 years #one woman just cut ties with everyone right down to her best friend and disappeared- we know she is alive but that's it #i miss her. but she had all the tools to avoid burning out and she didn't use them- at the end of the day you can't MAKE someone stop #oh yeah finally the above attitude to mental illness also puts you in a vulnerable place for conspiracy thinking #PLEASE do not become like my dad who listened to his mental illness too hard #and went from a leftist to a horseshoe theory conspiracist #guess how much activism he does now?! (hint: it's 0)

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