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#I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE MAN I AM LOSING MY MARBLES
moongothic · 5 months
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The worst part about trying to figure out what Crocodile's deal is that because he's so fucking irredeemably evil in Alabasta... Like... Yeah he's just irredeemably evil. Like I love him but he did cause countless casualties, a ton of pain and suffering and literally attempted to blow up a million people
Like no amount of theoretical "trying to do it to save his son from the Government" or "trying to stop the Government from hurting anyone else" or just "doing it for the greater good" is going to make him any less of a mass murderer
But also Robin absolutely 100% helped with all of that shit simply because she wanted to read the Poneglyph for herself.
No amount of her intending to betray Crocodile from the begining and sabotaging his plans erases the fact that Robin also caused countless people to starve to death and die in the civil war. Her sabotages only succeeded out of sheer luck, and only spared the lives of the people at the final battle. She has the blood of countless innocents on her hands. Because she wanted to read history.
But her crimes were swept under the rug because she has a sad backstory and her sabotages worked out just at the nick of time by sheer dumb luck
So Croc??? Just??? Is there a chance??? At all???
But also he did literally intend to sell Buggy into slavery
Like, fuck Buggy, but jesus
What's also killing me is that we like. Don't know what Luffy thinks of Crocodile right now. Which really is like. The thing that will decide how we, as the readers, are supposed to feel about Crocodile. Luffy is our POV
Like we don't know what Luffy's opinion of Crocodile is after he helped save Luffy (and spared Ace once) during the Summit War. Like Luffy clearly fucking hated the man in Impel Down and the two interactions they had during the War weren't like positive (in the sense that Luffy himself didn't think of the interactions as particularly positive. Defending Whitebeard from being attacked once and then being like "wait what HIM?!" when Crocodile defended Ace. To be fair, in the midst of the chaos, there wasn't much time to spend on Pondering On Such Things because Ace needed to be saved, and Oda goes out of his way to not show us what's going on inside Luffy's head, because it's all meant to be out in the open anyways. Regardless, these weren't like "yay it's Crocodile! :)" moments for Luffy is what I mean)
But also Luffy was very grateful of Law for saving his life and was willing to put his trust into Law for their alliance- of course, they weren't explicitly enemies to begin with, rivals at most, but still. Luffy respects those who help him.
But also Luffy grew during the timeskip. Like he's not that clueless anymore (like he finally understands Hancock is in love with him etc), and similarly Luffy gets that Buggy is an absolute loser now. But also Buggy did also help save Luffy's life (even if it was by accident), and while IDK if Luffy is aware of that, I don't think that helped improve Luffy's impression of Buggy
So like. The fuck does Luffy think of Crocodile, at this moment? Even with the Cross Guild reveal, he didn't even really comment on Croc and just focused his energy on being confused about Buggy being "the leader" of CG. IDK it feels almost intentional or something, that we don't know what Luffy thinks?? Especially since we did get Zoro's opinion on Mihawk in the situation?? Or am I delulu?? (Sidenote. I'd love to know what Robin would have to say about Crocodile helping save Luffy's life. What Jinbei might think of the final words Crocodile left him with before blasting them out of Akainu's reach. But mainly just Robin's thoughts)
Like IDK my best guess would be that Luffy still hates Crocodile just the same but is like grossed out by technically owing him one??? In the classic
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-kinda way, you know? And that he'd be just kinda confused about it?
Because I can't fucking imagine Luffy being like "oh we're cool now" with Crocodile, let alone "Yay Crocodile :) He saved my life!". But also like. Luffy does kind of owe Croc one. Kind of. And Luffy is usually very respectful of that kind of thing. Aaaaaaaa???
(Also does. Does Luffy even know it was Crocodile who yeeted him and Jinbei out of Akainu's reach to begin with. 'Cause he was unconcious. Knocked the fuck out. Does. Does Luffy even know. Did anybody tell him???)
I just.
There's the reasonable part of me that knows Crocodile is an irredeemable evil dickbag and everything he has ever said and done up to the most recent chapters support that. He is too far gone.
And then there's the absolutely delulu part that loves a tragic villian who gets a heartwrenching redemption that's looking for any fucking sign that could indicate Crocodile could maybe be one
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energone · 11 months
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Manic Crazy Dream Whirl
A character playlist following Whirl's emotional arc. Lyrics under the cut.
[01] || [it was broken before i got here] || Crywolf
Oh, I'm losing but I'm trying I am losing, I'm not trying anymore
[02] || Dean Freak Out || GRLwood
Me, I do what I want Me, I do whatever the fuck I want Me, I do what I want, I want to die
[03] || Shut Me Up || Mindless Self Indulgence
Cause I can't wait for you to fuck me up In a minute, minute, in a fuckin' minute I can't wait for you to fuck me up In a minute, minute, in a second
[04] || Reaper Man || Mother Mother
How'd I ever get so off my rocks? How'd I ever get so lost? Everybody out there on the job, but not me, oh no
[05] || BLOODPUDDLE || Siiickbrain
You can hand me a gun, I got good aim But my shrink just called me insane When you look at my face, red light on your head Heard you whisper my name What?
[06] || Aspiring Fires || Mother Mother
A little advice for aspiring fires: You'll get put out if you don't get a little wild
[07] || Semi-Automatic || O Mer
Myself and I are not the greatest combination Cause I've a semi-automatic for a brain
[08] || Girl Anachronism || The Dresden Dolls
Don't call the doctors Cause they've seen it all before They'll say just Let her crash and burn, she'll learn The attention just encourages her
[09] || Call Me Crash || Wrongchilde
Just call me Crash Just call me Break 'Cause I find my way for disaster I was born to go down in flames
[10] || Cry All The Time || Cutting Room Floor
What do you mean you think I can manage my own life What do you mean that’s just my heart & not a butcher knife
[11] || The Knack || Mother Mother
In the school of slow dance I was shaking it too fast I didn't get it, get it, get it, yeah 'Cause I was always skipping class
[12] || Until It Doesn't Hurt || Mother Mother
I wanna get it but I gotta stay inside I wanna kiss it but gotta stay inside I gotta get my shit and fly I wanna know but I gotta stay inside
[13] || Marbles || Snarls
Sugar messes with me But not as bad as when you leave
[14] || Tell Me It's Okay || Paramore
All my wasted hope I let go when I should've held tighter And now when the is sun out I let it burn, not afraid to feel it shine on me
[15] || Parrot || Stepdad
I've said a fair share of stupid things that I can't hide My wonderful friends just roll their eyes, stay by my side
[16] || Best In Me || Scissor Sisters
You take what’s good and make it better in me You know how to find the best Just keep bringing out the best in me
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gaoau · 5 months
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Sunday 11th – The Truth Among the Lies
The Girl Upstairs warnings — there's some mental health talk ahead. mentions of suicide, anxiety attacks, and the like. take care, guys! word count — 1.4k
prev. — next.
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The ripples on her black tea reflected a deformed image of her tired face. [Name] glared at it with narrowed eyes, her mind running a mile a minute as she replayed Akaashi's words in her mind. He wanted to help, she knew he wanted to help. A polite young man, worried sick about his neighbor because she couldn't control her own brain. Every time, she would lose herself for mere minutes, only to come back to a new disaster sprawled across her marble tiles.
How could she explain, when she didn't understand it herself? Maybe she did understand, but she preferred not to. Would Akaashi understand, though? Yes, he was smart and capable, but that didn't mean he held the capacity to comprehend someone as cold as her. Like she had babbled, he was too warm, and she was too freezing.
Things backfired in the end. All those dismissing words she had tried to sell him ended up making everything worse. Don't worry, she had repeated over and over, and Akaashi caught onto her repetition, becoming much more worried in turn.
[Name] gave it her all. [Name] did her best. [Name] fought against Akaashi's persistence and came out a loser. Now, she sat on his warm couch, drinking warm tea, and having the warmest person she'd ever met sitting right beside her.
If he wanted to know, then she would tell. If he wanted to help, then she would pretend. It was out of her hands. It was over.
"Where do I start?"
"Wherever you feel comfortable. Maybe your bruises…?"
"Ah." [Name] traced her purple bruises with the tip of her fingers — those same fingers that had caused them. "That Tuesday when you came to check on me at night, remember?" Akaashi hummed. "It was just that. In the blur of the moment, before I knew it, my hands were around my own neck."
"Do you always hurt yourself when those happen?"
"Yeah… I guess… I just need to feel something — know I'm still me, I'm in my body."
"There's a word for that… Dissociate, right?"
"Yeah, that sounds right. I don't know much. I never cared enough. I just let it happen. It's annoying, but it always ends."
"You've never asked for help?"
"To whom?" [Name] lifted her eyes from her reflection to look at Akaashi. He was a really good listener. She laughed, "…You're gonna make me miss this… You're really warm, you know?"
"What's that about?"
"The warm thing?" Akaashi nodded. "I live by it. There are warm people, like you, who're always there to help, and who deserve to live and enjoy living. Then there are cold people, like me, who just exist, who shouldn't hope."
"You don't hope?"
"I don't. I used to. But it's pointless now."
"You're pretty nihilistic."
A chuckle slipped from her lips. "You can tell? Yeah, I guess I am."
"Where are your parents?"
[Name] paused, eyes narrowing. Parents. Her parents. "…Abroad."
"Is that a lie?" Of course it was.
"No, they really are abroad."
"Do they know about these episodes you have?"
"No, I never told them. I don't want to bother. They're busy people."
"But can't you turn to them? You need help, don't you think?"
"Do I…? I don't agree. What's the point?"
"For you to get better. Don't you want to be part of the warm ones?"
[Name] laughed, "Oh, no, no! I could never. If you're born in the cold, you remain in the cold. You, Akaashi-san, are used to the warmth, but for someone like me, it burns too hot. Just look at the sun; when gazed from afar, it feels so welcoming and warm. So then you get too close, and it's nothing but a roaring ball of flames, blazing endlessly."
"That's such a sad outlook on life, though."
"Sounded too much like a depressed poet, didn't it?"
"Sounded beautiful. But don't you want more?"
"I… don't. No, not really. I don't care anymore. I've come to terms with it. Next question, let's move on."
"Why do you jump so much?"
"Why do I what, sorry?"
"You flinch a lot, you're really jumpy."
"Oh, that." A laugh. "I guess I'm just scared? Scared people will find out and start asking questions. Are you alright?, What happened to you?, Did you hurt yourself?, and so on." She glanced at Akaashi and then hid her face in her cup. "Well, that didn't work out anyway."
"But you stay. When we were studying, and the other night with the guys. You stayed."
"Yeah, I did. You're so warm that you make me forget. It's so nice to be here, living. Your couch is so comfortable and your friends are hilarious. I never thought I'd see someone get scared of Monster High."
They laughed together. In his own room, Bokuto sneezed.
"It's all so nice that I forget what I'm supposed to do."
"What are you supposed to do, then?"
"Can you guess? How're those eighteen braincells working?"
"Don't change the subject. If you aren't supposed to live and enjoy living, then what?"
"Take a guess, you're smart."
"Die?"
[Name] threw her head back and glued her gaze to the ceiling. She inhaled and exhaled deeply. "I guess… I like the phrase Live and let live a lot. In this case, it's more Let live and die."
"[Name]-san—"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to kill myself, that'd trouble a lot of people. I'm just waiting for it to happen."
"So last month, at the train station, you didn't try to kill yourself?"
"I don't recall."
"I pulled you away from the railways. You were right about to fall."
"You said it yourself, dissociation. Maybe I was just tripping like I always do."
"This is serious, [Name]-san." He stared into her eyes, brows furrowed in a frown.
"I'm being serious. I really don't recall." Lies and lies and more lies. They stuck to her tongue and scorched her lips.
"I don't want that happening again."
"Excuse me?"
"I'll help you. Let's be friends. We'll exchange phone numbers so we're always in touch, and if you need anything, I'm always downstairs. Lean on me."
"Akaashi-san, I rea—"
"Keiji."
[Name]'s brows shot upwards in shock. "Pardon?"
"Call me Keiji." [Name] blinked once and gawked like a fish. "Listen, [Name]-san, I might have to take this to the authorities."
"Wait, wait, no! Who are you to do that?! It's my life, I do what I want with it. I don't even owe you any explanations."
"Then let's make a deal."
"Wipe that smug look off your face, Keiji-san."
"Hear me out. If you let me help you, I'll take you into the warmth little by little."
"No."
"I'll have to bring this up to the school then."
"You can't do that."
"I will if I have to."
"You don't need to."
"I want to."
[Name] groaned. "Fine…! Okay, fine, you win…! You can walk me to school, and we can study together, and we'll finish Monster High if you want to. Just, let's keep this between us."
"I think we've got ourselves a deal."
He offered her his hand, which she reluctantly grasped and shook. His gentle hold enveloped her algid skin in a pleasant warmth. She felt the tug of Akaashi trying to pull away, but she gripped him tightly. The wonderful warmth she knew better than to soak in, yet she couldn't help herself. Oh, she was but a fool. And like a fool she bawled, pressing her forehead against his welcoming heat.
"It's okay, [Name]-san, cry all you want. I'll help you, I promise."
It wasn't okay. [Name] gravitated towards silent screams and hushed sobs, always keeping in mind the fact that showing weakness was not an option. She wondered how long it had been since she last made a sound when crying. Her hiccups, her sniffles, her huffs; they resonated loud and clear. She could afford to be weak one last time. Feeling Akaashi's palm comfortably patting her shoulder, she shed every last one of her tears until her head pounded.
The cold was watching, and it waited patiently for her to fall back into its merciless claws.
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proudly-a-killjoy · 9 months
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The Wretched Existence of an Unloved Child
The collection of short stories that takes place in the universe of my OCs
Part Eight - Monstrous
Naomi stood in a garden that belonged to a dead man. His corpse was still warm, laying in the mansion that sat behind her as she watched the fireflies blink their lights inbetween the leaves of the plants. She didn't regret killing him. He was a politician. Corrupt, as many are. She did regret that he had children, though. Ones she wasn't aware of until after the murder. She probably still would have killed him, just after making sure the children were in a safe place and were going to be taken care of.
A chill filled the summer air as Samael appeared at Naomi's side. "What are you doing?" she asked, "You should be on your way home by now."
"Waiting for you."
"What for?"
Naomi's face was rigid, and anger shone in her eyes. "I'm dissapointed. You didn't tell me he had children here."
"It didn't interfere with the mission. I didn't think you needed to know."
Naomi scoffed, "Or maybe it was a test. You wanted to see if I would lose control. If I would kill them."
"You're not a monster, Naomi."
"I wasn't when I met you. I am now."
Samael went to speak, but paused. Naomi wasn't sure what she was thinking, so she continued to speak.
"You have warped me beyond recognition. You have given me a life, but for payment you have taken my humanity. I am only human in flesh, my mind and my actions are nothing of the sort."
Samael continued to think for what felt like ages to Naomi. She shivered as the cold that followed Samael around seeped into her clothing. It always seemed that Samael pulled all warmth and light to her, greedily keeping it for herself. Keeping it from others. It shone from inside of her, eyes glowing and hair that was as hot as fire to the touch, yet her skin was marble and felt so icy it stung.
Finally, she spoke. "Would you like to be monstrous? Would you like your outside to match the inside?"
"What?" Naomi asked, and once again a shiver ran through her body, though she didn't much feel the cold anymore.
"When I saved your life that day, when I healed your wounds, we made a deal. I had no need for you as a vessel, but you still had potential. In exchange for your life and your career, you would work for me. Well, I think you would do much better work if you didn't have the restraints of a human. Maybe you would feel more comfortable in your skin, as well."
"I don't-" Samael grabbed Naomi's chin before she could finish her sentence, tilting her head up slightly. Samael narrowed her eyes and furrowed her brows in a look of concentration. Naomi suddenly felt much different than before.
"Yes, I think that will do. Being a werewolf suits you well. I could have chosen another creature, but this suits your animalistic nature."
Naomi jerked her face away from her. "Don't speak to me of animalistic nature, Samael. I'm not the one who eats people."
"Not now, you're not. But you might find that your victims look tastier than they did before." And with that, Samael left. Swallowed by the shadows.
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timextoxhajima · 3 years
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Love Me A Little Less: Chapter 1 - Frankenstein
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LOVE ME A LITTLE LESS CHAPTER MASTERLIST
Member: (3rd person pov) arranged marriage au with Lee Juyeon
Genre: angsty wangsty
Taglist: @hyunvelies​
“We buried you.”
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The feast before Kim Jang Won is absolutely stunning. Lemon meringue tarts, strawberry smoothies (with actual strawberry bits in them), pancakes and freshly buttered croissants, a gorgeous transparent glass pot with the golden shade of chamomile tea and a beautiful tray of puffs and eclairs.
It would be even more stunning if it wasn’t her view every morning though.
“Hey, um, don’t we have like alternating menus or something for breakfast? I feel like I’m eating the same thing every morning now, it’s kinda getting tacky.”
“Miss Kim, I hope you know you’re the one who decides what the menu is. You chose this set like a week ago and you told us not to change it for the next two weeks.”
Jang Won sneers at her butler, arguably the only person on the property to has the guts to talk to her in a way that could get her fired.
“You’re lucky I can trust you.”
Ro Il Jung purses his lips into a thin white line, scratching his cheek with one of those knuckly, wrinkly-skin-covered fingers of his. “You seem to forget that I wanted to retire last year, Miss Kim.”
Jang Won huffs childishly, sticking her tongue out, now a gentle, thick shade of smoothie on her tongue. “I’ll let you retire when I find someone else I can trust, Mr Ro. It’s just too bad I don’t have anybody in mind right now.”
Mr Ro shakes his head like a parent disapproving of his child, but a house guard pulling the heavy doors of the entrance over accompanied by some urgent yelling tears his attention away from the owner of the mansion. 
Jang Won looks up from her butter and croissant, at Mr Ro, who excuses himself before heading for the entrance hall. 
“Sir,” He begins before he can even note the visitor. “If you could--”
“Mr Ro!”
Jang Won hears her butler’s words fade to a complete silent, only listening to their visitor talk. But it’s strange, because it’s a familiar voice...
Mr Ro cannot believe the sight before his eyes.
“I can’t believe you’re still working here. It’s so great to see you again!” Then the visitor pulls Mr Ro into a hug, harshly patting the space between his shoulder blades. 
The lady of the house cannot take it anymore, not when she can’t eavesdrop on the conversation occurring in her own halls. So she gets up from the table, heels clacking against the marble floor as she heads into the entrance hall.
“Alright now, who’s got the guts to stop me in the middle of my French breakfast this morning?”
Mr Ro turns in silent shock, eyes wide and glaring while Jang Won processes the face of the visitor. 
The man hadn’t looked like he aged a day since he was--
“I’m sorry,” Jang Won scoffs, waving her beautifully done manicured fingernails in the air. “If this is some impractical joke, please do tell because my brain is just about to explode from the sight right now. Y’know,” She gestures to her head and mimics the sound of a bomb. 
“Jang Won...” The visitor strides towards her, arms wide. But she raises a palm and shifts backwards, a cautious half-smile mixed with a frown plastered to her flawless skin. 
“Not another step, nuh-uh,” Waving a finger before his nose, she shakes her head. “There is no way in Hell you can be standing here.”
“Oh, but I am, love,” Once a warm voice that sang her to sleep, Jang Won cannot decide if the tears in her eyes are welling from relief or fear. “I’m home.”
“No... no!” She slaps away his outstretched hands. “We... we buried you...”
“And I can only imagine what you’re feeling right now, my child, but... we have more important things to worry about.”
Mr Ro’s face is contorted with a mess of confusion and anxiety and he watches the first tears fall down Jang Won’s cheeks. 
“What...? ‘More important’-- No, how is anything more important than you... standing here?” The last word comes out like a final breath, at a volume just enough for him to hear. 
“I came bearing news, Jang Won. I-- Well...” He rubs the back of his head, eyes tilted down to his feet. “Because I’ve return to the board of administration now... part of the company now comes back to... me--”
What?
“And... you cannot inherit any part of the company unless you are married to someone from a family from the same administration board.”
Jang Won’s tears solidify into fumes of anger as the thought runs through her neurons. The middle aged man begins to panic when he can read the rage in her eyes, her fists now clenched and the markings of her rings probably embedded into the flesh of her palm. Her knuckles begin to turn white as does his face, ever so slightly.
“Now, now, love. I know what you’re thinking and we can sit down and have a chat about this--”
“‘Sit down and have a chat’?” Jang Won scoffs miserably, lower jaw hanging agape. “Why don’t we sit down and let me ask you whiCH SCIENTIST MADE YOU FRANKENSTEIN?!”
The hallways of the mansion echo the shouts, the sound waves bouncing back and forth between the marble walls mostly adorn with gorgeous, one-in-a-million paintings. 
“That’s not important now, hun. I just need you to understand that without this marriage, you will lose the house and everything you own from HERA & ARTEMIS.”
“I built HERA & ARTEMIS after you were fucking bURIED! Who are you to tell me that you will inherit it ownership and I can’t just because I’m not married?!”
“These were instructions from The Board, Jang Won. I had absolutely no say over this--”
“BULLSHIT! If you have the power to take ownership of HERA & ARTEMIS just because you climbed out of your own grave, why don’t you have the power to help m-- Oh, oh...” Jang Won frowns in disdain, disgust welling her lungs and her gut. 
“What?” His eyes widen and shoulders shrug.
“You came back just to tell me this... because you want HERA & ARTEMIS for yourself.”
“What-- No--”
"You... low-life... scumbag!" The sharp shatter of the glass cabinet behind him echoes through the entrance hall of the mansion. One of the palm-sized statues sitting on the table in the middle of the circular hall lands amongst the billion pieces of glass on the marble floor.
"You give me my freedom and now you tell me I have to get married?!" The final word is literally pushed through her teeth when she cannot clench her jaws even harder. The tremors vibrating up her fist and into her arm and then her entire body makes her look like a volcano ready to erupt, so if these people haven't gotten enough, they have yet to see what's in store.
"Just who the HELL do you think you are?!" Grabbing another one of those tiny statues, Jang Won throws it into the other glass door of the cabinet.
"Jang Won, will you calm down?!"
"Don't you DARE tell me to calm down! You waltz back into this house after GOD knows how long- Hell, we BURIED you!"
"There was a mistake of the body identification and frankly, I expected a warmer welcome from you!"
"HA! A ‘warmer welcome’?! What do you want me to do? Set the entire house on fire? Do you want me to? Because I will!" The man has his brows furrowed back, palms out stretched to her. The mansion staff have all gathered a safe distance around the two of them, Mr Ro and some of those closer to Jang Won trying their best to get to her and calm her nerves but there is just absolutely no way she isn’t going to hurl a brick at her father.
"I can't BELIEVE you're standing there as if you own this place," The muscles around Jang Won’s nose twitches as the frown sinks deeper into her forehead. "I want you to hear this mighty well and crystal clear. You may have been the one who gave me life, but you will never EVER be my dad.”
The huffs that are billowing out Jang Won’s nostrils are starting to hurt.
"There is not a single cent you're stepping on - or touching, for that matter - that belongs to you. The only reason why I haven't fucking put a bullet through your right eye is because I'd go to jail and every thing I've worked for would be thrown out the window.”
“Now, now, love, we can sit down and be civilized about this—”
“Fuck you,” The anger surges through her, and she picks up one more palm-sized statue from the blue resin table. The heavy bronze weight leaves her fingers, and before it can hit the slightly aged man, someone reaches out and catches it instead.
“What the HELL are you doing?!” The scream echoes through the hall of the mansion. Younghoon sighs heavily, hand retreating back to his side as he hands the statue to one of the house staff.
“You have no right to get involved in this—”
“Jang Won, let’s go,” Younghoon strides across the space and grabs her arm, back-facing his father and trying to pull her in the opposite direction. “We can talk about this in your office.”
“How are you thinking straight?! We BURIED him! We watched his coffin get lowered into—”
“I know! I was there!” His eyes flutter shut in frustration, shoulders raising as he sucks in a deep breath, flaring his nostrils. “There’s no point destroying your own property over this. We can carry out some investigations, figure out what really happened, then we’ll work from there.”
The grip on her arm tightens when her instincts try to writhe away from him, but obviously, he doesn’t relent.
“Don’t do it. It’s not worth your time, or mine.”
He stares down at Jang Won, but it doesn’t scare her, not when she has a ghost standing right in the middle of some shattered mess. Not one cut on him.
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Younghoon grimly shuts the door as Jang Won stomps over to her office desk and rests her palms flat against the Agar Wood surface. With a sharp, swift feat, she swipes nearly all the documents off the furniture. But when she misses the empty glass (that would usually be filled with some kind of alcohol or soda), she doesn't hesitate to pick it off the desk and propel it into the marble by the television mounted to the wall.
The shatter startles Younghoon as he whips around, eyes darting frantically between her and the mess she’s made.
"Jang Won!"
"Should I be concerned you don't seem one bit bothered that a dead man is standing in our living room - MY living room?"
"That dead man is our father."
"No, that dead man WAS our father before he ditched us! How are you not- UGH!"
Frustrated, furious and absolutely exasperate, she plops down into one of the two sofas sitting in the middle of the office, feet almost tempted to kick the frosted glass table in the middle but she holds herself back. Younghoon manages to get a few house staff into the room, who hurriedly help clear the glass and return the documents to the table. Fingers pressed into her temples, Jang Won could only imagine the gratification she could receive have if she had the chance to ram her first into someone's face.
Younghoon waits for the staff to leave, then stands by the sofa opposite her, one hand on his hip and the other running through his hair. The late morning sun reflects off his soft, dark brown locks when he absent-mindedly rubs the back of his head and he proceeds to unbutton his blazer to allow him a seat. The leather squeaks under his weight before he leans his elbows on his knees, knuckles resting under his lips and chin.
"Please tell me you're actually thinking and not just trying to look pretty. You're in my house now, not some studio photoshoot."
"I'm thinking about where to put a whole person for you."
"Don't bother, he's moved half his things into the first guestroom. He's probably holding a conductor's wand right now and asking the staff to help him with the second half."
"Have you called the funeral services?"
"And say what? 'Hey sir, have you... perhaps mis-screwed a coffin about 2 years back and now we might have a problem of a zombie'?"
"I'm just saying someone might've paid someone to replace the bodies!" Younghoon frowns, eyes stuck to the rug under his feet. "We don't know how it happened but someone MUST know, right?"
"I think your best bet is the asshole living down the hall now."
"He's not gonna budge, we both know that."
"Well, Sherlock Holmes, thanks for pointing out the obvious."
"I'm just trying to help. You need to stop your nonsensical whining and use your brain like how you used it to get all this money."
Jang Won picks up a pillow and hurls it into Younghoon. “You’re lucky you still stick around, else I’d have the both of you screwed over.”
Younghoon catches the pillow, holding it to his side. “The day I stop looking out for you is the day I die, alright? So you can be rest assured I’ll--”
“Miss Kim!” Mr Ro’s voice calls out from outside the office. 
“What is it, Mr Ro?” Younghoon turns and returns the call, head tilted towards the door. It croaks open, and Mr Ro’s eyes are tired, wary as he sticks his head in.
“Your father just left and... and I think you should see the news.” Mr Ro pushes past the heavy door and reaches for the remote sitting on the frosted glass. The television screen mounted above the fire place flickers on, and there it was, her father’s face.
“The Board has just confirmed the ownership of HERA & ARTEMIS will thus forth be returned to Kim Jo-Pil, father of Kim Jang Won, the current owner. Investigations as to Kim Jo-Pil’s supposed death two years ago are still ongoing.”
“I’m gonna kill him.”
“You can’t.”
“Watch me.”
“We’ll be-- Wha-- The Board’s just come in with some new information! Kim JO-Pil has announced a marriage between Kim Jang Won, current owner of HERA & ARTEMIS and Lee Juyeon, the next-in-line to becoming the next Director of Apple, South Korea.”
Younghoon’s eyeballs are about to bludgeon out of his eye sockets. “Jang Won... I know what you’re thinking... But don’t--”
“I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM!”
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slut4supersoldiers · 3 years
Text
Happy And Sad
Pairing: Steve Rogers X Bucky Barnes
Summary: A world where Thanos has been defeated and everyone is still alive. Things are normal. Steve and Bucky are still pining over each other. But maybe Tony’s party might bring them a little closer to admitting their feelings.
OR
Happiness is fleeting and so is sadness. And bucky is aware of that. But for once he just wants to be happy. Even without the promise of permanency.
Based on Kacey Musgraves: Happy and Sad.
Warning: If you don’t ship Stucky then don’t read this! Also: Alcohol consumption, self doubt slight mention of ptsd and nightmares, maybe a bard word? major pining.
Rating: F for fluff, A for (slight angst)
A/n: i think this is my second time posting this. The first time it didn’t do so well but I had a surge of confidence so I reposted. Please be kind and please leave some feedback. It means a lot x
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Tony has thrown yet another party. A ball room dolled up with expensive decorations, lights, chandeliers and happy faces. Pristine marble floors and a fountain with crystal clear water (or is that champagne?) right in the centre of the room. Guests; superheroes, agents, family and friends all dressed to the nines, black tie of course. And Bucky is standing in the corner of the room.
A forlorn expression; a thousand yard stare. He is fidgeting nervously. Left hand covered completely (in spite of the disapproving look from Shuri). His long hair is conditioned and tied in a low man bun, although stubborn strands still fall on his face. He is nursing a glass of whiskey. Nothing gets him drunk because of the damning super soldier serum but he loves the burn from the amber liquid. Imagines himself getting inebriated enough, just enough to forget the pain that the horrid of his past inflicts upon him mercilessly. He deserves it, he thinks. Before he could let the thoughts consume him he consumes the alcohol.
He can hear music being played but he doesn’t recognise it. Doesn’t recognise anyone. Yes he knows everyone but doesn’t really know anyone. Do they know him? No one does.
He is about to take another sip willing himself to push the pain away but his breath gets caught in his throat.
It's not you, it's the glow of the party
The way that you've got me lit up inside
It's the song that they're playin', the words that you're sayin'
It's never felt so right
There in the throng of the guests he sees a familiar face. A very familiar face. A very familiar person. His person. His Stevie.
Dressed in a velvet blue tuxedo, blonde hair gelled back, a very light scattering of stubble adoring his sharp jaw and high cheekbones. Bucky thinks he rather likes the look. And by the look of it so do all the women who suddenly gravitate towards America’s golden boy. Bucky doesn’t blame them. Instead he breathes a sigh and chugs the drink along with the harsh truth, that it’s not his Steve anymore. Probably never was…
Sulking, he is about to turn and walk towards the guest room (that Tony hesitantly offered him for the night) when he hears someone call his name and that familiar feeling of his world coming to a halt takes over him. Steve.
And I'm the kind of person who starts getting kinda nervous
When I'm having the time of my life
“Buck, where are you going? Join us?” Almost hesitantly Steve asks.
And Bucky turns around. The soft voice leaving Steve’s lips calling out to him like a siren to a sailor sailing through troubled waters. Calming and alluring.
He looks at Steve, really looks at him. He is still that scrawny little punk from Brooklyn, he thinks. Charming, stubborn and god damn beautiful.
“Buck?” Steve raises his eyebrows in concern.
Is there a word for the way that I'm feeling tonight?
Happy and sad at the same time
You got me smiling with tears in my eyes
And Bucky gives in.
Joins the former captain and mingles with everyone. Or as any bystander would’ve said, spends the night making heart eyes at the Adonis like blond man who refused to leave the former Sergeant’s side the whole night.
As the clock nears midnight, the party begins to lose its swing. New agents, and other guests having already left it’s only the avengers and their new comrades relaxing and talking, appreciating being reunited. No one addresses the lost time, the tragedies; the nightmares that will come later are reminder enough so everyone enjoys the company instead.
So does Bucky. With Sam by his side and Nat, his Natalia, sitting beside him, chugging a bottle of vodka like water, Bucky feels comfortable but he is still on the edge. Almost as if he knows that this will be taken away from him someday. That’s his life. Nothing good ever lasts. Nothing good is ever permanent. A forlorn look. A thousand yard stare.
I never felt so high
No, I've never been this far off of the ground
And they say everything that goes up must come down
But I don't wanna come down
“You’re doing it again.” Nat says.
“What?” Bucky asks.
“That lost puppy look. We won Barnes. It’s time to celebrate. We can sulk later.” She raises a well groomed eyebrow at her.
Natalia, always the snarky one. He chuckles and shakes his head as she offers him the bottle.
“10 o clock, sarge! Lover boy is closing in on us.” Nat nudges Bucky. And he is suddenly alert. Doesn’t notice Sam and Nat slowly sneaking away. Doesn’t notice the red covering his cheeks. Doesn’t notice the way Steve’s eyes take him in; adoration, love, lust, longing.
“What is this? The famous James Buchanan Barnes, not dancing?” Steve jokes. Tries to make the situation lighter.
And Bucky feels lighter. Like he is floating on air but that might have to do with how close Steve is standing to him. Shoulders touching, hands brushing against each other.
“You got the wrong guy!” Bucky shrugs half heartedly.
“No. I’ve got the right one.” Steve looks at Bucky. Cerulean eyes stare into each other. Lips parted, slightly. Awaiting.
So is there a way to stop all this thinkin', just keep on drinkin'?
'Cause I don't wanna wake up
When they're turnin' the lights on and it turns out the joke's on me
'Cause it feels so right
Suddenly Steve pulls Bucky away from the wall and to the dance floor. The floor now almost vacant.
“What’re ya doin?” Bucky scratches the back of his neck.
“What? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten how you taught me dancing back in the days?” Steve suggests the red of his cheeks matches Bucky’s.
“You were smaller then. Now you’re...big.” Bucky averts his gaze. Steve bends down a little, a tiny, teasing smile plays on his lips. Cautiously, he grabs Bucky’s hand. The metal hand. Brings it to his lips. A soft, shy brush of lips against the gloved surface. Puts it on his shoulder. A weapon, a burden, an appendage, an embarrassment now an object of admiration. Bucky feels his heart beat getting erratic but the gradual mingling of Steve's heart beats with his own makes it sound like a symphony. Mingles with the music softly playing in the background. Bucky notices how his hand fits right on Steve’s shoulder. Steve places a hand on Bucky’s waist. Pulls him closer, just a little bit. And then a little bit more.
“I am still that kid.“ Steve smiles. Eyes filled with love for the broken but brave man before him. His friend. His love. His Bucky.
“Punk.” Bucky whispers.
“Jerk.” Steve chuckles.
I don't mind at all, no, I'm used to fallin'
I'm comfortable when the sky is gray
But when everything is perfect, I start hidin'
'Cause I know that rain is comin' my way, my way
Bucky is still a little sad. Nothing is permanent. But for now he is happy because for now he is with his Stevie. And he is fine with that.
'Cause I'm happy and sad at the same time
You got me smilin' with tears in my eyes
I never felt so high
No, I've never been this far off of the ground
And they say everything that goes up, goes up must come down
And I don't wanna come down
No, I don't wanna come down
Tag:
@mydarlingharry
103 notes · View notes
umccall71 · 4 years
Text
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Chapter: 20
Characters: Prince Liam & (MC) Lady Saige
Rating: Mature
Word count :3423
Disclaimer:All characters are property of Pixelberry except my OC Lady Saige. The use of these characters are for entertainment only and I am only borrowing them.
Summary:After a summer of a lifetime,Prince Liam thought he could have it all.He was carefree, free, and sharing time with the woman of his dreams.When life was easy, a balancing act between love and duty, he realizes his truths are lies, wrong is right, and decisions do have consequences. Lady Saige never imagined she would be one of his consequences.When an utter act horror throws her world into a tailspin.
Warning: This series contains subject matter of depression,pregnancy, violence, and sensitive sexual content.The story may trigger certain individuals. Please be advised. If you are reading this series you are acknowledging you are 18+.
@ao719 @eadanga @silviasutton1989 @rainbowsinthestorm @the-soot-sprite @jared2612 @sashatrr @jovialyouthmusic @smalltalk88 @custaroonie @kuladekiwi @whenyourheartskipsabeat @marietrinmimi @furiousherringoperatortoad @gibbles82 @choices97 @fantasy-of-fiction @romanticatheart-posts @drakesensworld @simsvetements @blackcoffee85 @3pawandme @indiacater @hopefulmoonobject @elles-choices @carabeth @carabethpow @janezillow @kingliam2019 @lodberg @ownworldresident
**********
The following morning, Olivia had arrived in the early sunrise at the urgent request of her king. Liam had sent a message that he needed to take care of some things but did not want to leave Saige alone. Olivia came baring decadent pastries and coffee,tea, and juices.
“Good morning your majesties...I come bearing gifts of sustenance,'' she smiled to break the tension.
Liam had been awake for hours simply coordinating the events that would transpire at warped speed if he has his way.He had arranged for Bastien to pick him up early to escort him to meet face to face that evil that had lurked and entered his home. His heart was pounding out of his chest as he contemplated confronting Constantine. “Thank you for coming Olivia, I shan't be long.”
Liam turned and cupped Saige’s face placing a tender kiss upon her lips careful not to linger too long . “Love, I don't want to leave but there is an urgent matter I need to handle. I won't be long...I can't wait to take you home to care for you in the comfort of our bedroom.”
Saige flinched at the mention of the word home.As much happiness as she shared with Liam, she no longer felt the palace was her home. What Liam missed was the reluctance in his wife to proclaim that going home was at the forefront of her mind. Their home served as an internal prison for the dreams that she sought with her husband. The dream that was stolen that night in the dark...stolen from her heart. The palace would serve as an existential graveyard to the baby that they lost. All she could do in that moment was to nod and try to force a false smile as he left her with her closest friend.
Olivia slid beside Saige on the bed and handed her a chocolate croissant and a bottle of juice, “eat...you need to regain your strength to make those sons of bitches pay.” Olivia’s emerald green orbs met the lackluster crystal blue eyes.
Saige stared at the window as if she were seeking answers from the inky hues creeping between the curtain. She softly whispered , “ I wish he could see that he would be better off without me.”
Olivia reached out to grasp hold of Saige’s hand trying to project the comfort and understanding in this devastatingly critical hours following the void that was left in the pit of her friend. “Saige...you have to understand that living without you is not in the cards for Liam ...right? That man loves you and he will love you until the day he dies. I couldn't imagine the weight of sorrow you are drowning from inside. Please understand that what you feel...he feels it too.”
Saige blocked the words that were being shared...she reached over and pushed the call button to alert the nurse.She pushed the pastry away and ignored Liv’s words. Moments later the mature woman entered the room and smiled at the queen.
“Ma’am, is there anything I can do for you?”,she inquired.
Saige spoke looking out of the window, “ How long before I can leave here ?”
The nurse looked bewildered and taken aback momentarily, “ well it should be any day now. THe doctor wanted to make sure you have crossed the threshold with your pregnancy and risk no setbacks or infections as a result. I'm sure it won't be too much longer.” The nurse bowed and exited the room.
Olivia’s gaze followed the nurse out of the room and turned to her friend. “What are you thinking Saige? I know you well enough to know that there is nothing random about your questioning.”
Saige simply slid down in the bed and turned her back to Olivia, silent tears escaping her eyes. She couldn't find the words to explain the magnitude of her pain and confusion. She felt the ache in her heart at the baby she would never rocked to sleep, never see the mirrored smile of the baby’s father, never witness Liam dote over…so many first stolen from them.
***
Liam marched down the hall following Bastien mind locked on the man that tore a hole in his life without a blink of an eye. He was laser focused on looking him in the eyes and studying his reaction to his learning that his son was now in possession of the truth. Liam always felt that a man armed with the truth was armed with a powerful tool. He took long strides down the palace halls draped in gold ornate molding, Italian marble floors, and images of ancestors of Cordonia. He wondered what his ancestors would think of Constantine raping the now queen. He cracked his neck as Bastien stopped in front of a set of locked double doors that locked away his father.He knew this because the two guards would not be afforded to be housed in such luxury.He glanced to Bastien as he let out a deep breath...squared his shoulders and nodded for Bastien to open the door.
“Whatever you do ...don't open this room once im inside until I give you the signal.This is a conversation that needs to be had. I trust you have the paperwork to present to the council with formal charges?”, he watched as his heard guard nodded in acknowledgement.
“Yes sir… everything is in order awaiting word from you to proceed.”, Bastien opened the door and then back out abruptly closing and locking the door behind his king. He stretched his arms over his head before adjusting his steele gray suit and tie.
Liam slowly paced the room making eye contact with Constantine.He looked upon his father as a science experiment he was seeking a worthy hypothesis for in the end. He slowly removed his navy blue blazer and laid it across the boudoir chair. He undid his cufflinks depositing them in his trousers pocket. He rolled up his sleeves still refraining from uttering a word as he watched.Costantine went to inquire appallingly to Liam why he was being held in that room is not allowed to go to his wife in their home.
Liam scoffed at the hypocrisy of him wanting to be there with his wife when he robbed his own wife of peace, happiness, and sense of security. “Which one did you use?he asked as he started moving closer toward his father.Constantine looked at him puzzled. “What?...what are you talking about Liam?” Still no clue where his son’s thoughts were .
“Did you use the left or right hand to choke my wife in the middle of the night? Which one started your path of madness? Don't bother denying that you were there...because I have proof that you were indeed there in my home… Constantine.” Liam exuded a calm, but determined look as he stalked over to the fireplace removing the gold poker.
“Which hand did you use to strike my wife you asshole?!”, his voice deepened as he became irritated being in the room with her assailant.
“Liam… I don't know what that little bitch told you but she's lying. I gave her only what she wanted.”, he smirked as his eyes shifted back and forth watching Liam’s reaction to his lie. “Liam she has wanted to come between us since she first set foot in this palace. You cannot let her damage our relationship anymore than it has been.”
Liam's voice came out in a roar, “ENOUGH!... you will tell me which hand you used to grip the throat of my pregnant wife!”
Constantine slowly lowered his gaze to look to his right..that was all the confirmation Liam needed. He snatched his father from across the room and snapped his right arm.. Lowering a devastating blow to his right hand that landed on the desk. “Fuck Liam … what the hell is wrong with you?!, he bellowed in agony.
“Was that the same hand you used to strike her across her beautiful face you bastard?!”,his breathing became labored as he fought the urge to end him where he stood. “ Liam delivered a crushing blow with his fist across Constantine’s mouth where deep red blood flowed from his lips.
“You beat her .. you tore off her clothes on the floor of our home … you raped you animal...and your act of violence cost us our baby.It wasn't enough that you tried to have your way with her months ago… you had to finish the job!”Liam seethed as he slammed his father's body to the floor and pressed his knees on both sides of his body pounding his fist into his face repeatedly.
The door flew open as Bastien came in to aide his king that was losing control over the tragedy that had taken hold of his family. “Your majesty… please let me take over sir. I serve at the bequest of the crown.” Bastien tried to break through the rage of his beloved king. Liam gripped Constantine's head and slammed it into the floor several times.Bastien dropped to his knees and pleaded with his king to let him take over to subdue the former king.
LIam rose to his feet as Bastien held a firm grip on the former king not that he was able to put up much of a fight. Constantine sat up with Bastien close by as he leaned forward processing everything his son had told him . What he found disheartening was hearing about the loss of a grandchild. “Liam… you say she lost the baby?” Silence in the room as Liam tried to calm his pulse and slow his heartbeat.
“In light of your actions and the two co- conspirators you will all be tried for treason. Crimes against the crown. This country will learn what a vile human being you are...a stain on the monarchy. I will not cover for your crimes. My priority is to my wife and my unborn child.”, he paused as the realization dawned on his father that Saige was still pregnant.
“Wait...what do you mean unborn child?”, he was flustered and confused.
“We learned after your violent actions against my wife that Saige was carrying twins. One baby did not survive as a result of you horrific,unscrupulous behaviour. I had to watch my wife be delivered another devestating blow after her rape when the doctor told her that she lossed a child that we never had a chance to meet. This… this death is blood on your hands. Everyone will learn what a monster you are and that you killed your own flesh and blood grandchild.You will stand trial before the council...and then to meet your maker. I hope you rot in hell for what you've done Constantine. Your legacy … will be that of a murderer and rapist to your own family.”
Liam picked up his blazer and slowly moved toward the door. He wouldn’t look back as he went to exit. As he was leaving her heard Bastien yell out , “unhand my service revolver!” Moments later a loud single pop escaped the room followed by a thud on the floor. Liam turned back and witnessed Bastien trying to revive Constantine to no avail. King father perished as a single gunshot to his head as he took his own life in that room. Bastien radioed to his staff to secure the scene and lock down any press to the palace until Queen mother is notified of his death.Liam walked down the hall blocking out the chaos taking place around him as he went back to his private quarters. He had not set foot in the royal apartments since leaving the morning of his trip to Italy. Upon walking into the living area his senses were awakened by the smell of cleaning solutions. His breath hitched as he came to the spot that he believed to be where his wife was taken from him that night. He moved to the bedroom with a suffocating feeling as he glanced to the bed that was still unmade. He eyed the IPad that was still beside her space in their bed where she laid down chatting with him on FaceTime. The spot that held a special place in his heart remembering how they laughed and planned to speak after her doctors appointment. He thought of her words where she mentioned feeling a craving for a snack...to feed their baby...babies before going to sleep.Liam peeled off his clothes, except his underwear and took in the scent of her sweet perfume intoxicated with jasmine and vanilla.He felt a burning sting in his eyes as he became overwhelmed with the thought of them making love in the rain the night before he left. Had he known that the following night would change their lives...had he insisted she travel with him to Italy. He gripped her pillow imagining her shampoo smelling of Gardenias. He put it to his nostrils and inhaled deeply as grief overtook his body. Liam’s body shook uncontrollably as he let out a scream as he sobbed.
“Why would he do this to her.. To us? She didn't deserve this.. Our baby didn't deserve this… all she wanted, we wanted was to plan for our family. How can i promised her to keep her safe when I couldn't even shield her in our home.” Liam lade his way to the bathroom and turned on the showed letting the steam filled the room. He stared at his broken blue eyes , red rimmed as he looked at a man he was used to seeing...defeated… afraid...heartbroken...betrayed. He knew he had to fight for her even if she couldn't fight for herself.
He slid out of his underwear and stood beneath the running water allowing the heat to pulsate his tensed muscles in his back and shoulders. Liam slumped down in the shower internalizing his pain and muffling his tears that were trapped in his throat. He cried for Saige, for their baby… but he felt nothing for the father that had deprived them of a family that is whole. After twenty minutes in the water he left the shower and dressed in jeans, a button down shirt and pull over sweater. He grabbed his keys and phone and headed back to the hospital ...alone.
****
Saige laid in bed staring at the ceiling trying to avoid the bereaved looks of sympathy from Olivia.Liam had sent off a text to Liv that he was on the way. Olivia had turned on the television trying to find a light hearted comedy to lighten the mood. “This movie looks good… I can't wait until we share a stiff drink after you have the baby, she smiled trying to lessen the all consuming thoughts in Saige’s mind. “Saige… what do you have a taste for? We can get anything your heart desires, ``she laughed.
Saige grew quiet, “ you can’t get me the baby I lost,''she whispered. Olivia could not help but feel a heavy heart for her friend. The thing that would help her heal was outside of her grasp. All she wanted was to plan for the day she and Liam would bring their little angels home. A moment later Liam entered the hospital room followed by Saige’s physician. Before he could say anything the doctor smiled and shared that she could head home.
“Your majesties...there has been a great improvement to your injuries and the baby is doing well.” Liam smiled reluctantly. He trained his blue eyes on Saige traveling down to her belly wanting to just touch her baby bump. He knew that would make her uncomfortable in this moment. Olivia could help but take notice of her king.
Ma’am...sir.. We recommend taking it easy for the next week or two. Free of stress .. focusing on your recovery and your pregnancy. Be mindful of any pains and cramping should it arise. You will need to eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of fluids. Listen to your body … rest frequently. Your majesty... I look forward to the official introduction of the royal heir.”,he smiled. “ I will go prepare your paperwork for your release,''the doctor exited the room.
“Baby… that's great news that you can go home … we can go home.”he reached for her hand when she began shaking her head violently, “I ..I can't go there Liam”, she panicked.
“No love… we are going to spend some time in /valtoria at your Duchy. I never had a chance to take you on a grand tour to take in the beauty. We should go there for awhile. I will work from there and .. and I can postpone any trips abroad for a bit.”, he looked on with a look of uncertainty. “Let's take time to deal with everything including the loss of our baby without prying eyes.”
“Liam… I know that you want to help, but I can't give you what you want. You deserve a woman that is of your social class and ilk. I cannot even protect your baby...what about the baby. Liam i am afraid to grow attached to this one because don't know if …”she trailed off with a few stray tears running down her face.
“Saige...we cant think that way. Am I sad that we lost a child...yes. We also owe to that baby to love the twin that shared your womb. We will stop thinking about the loss, but we also have to embrace the gift that is still with us. Let me take care of you and our baby that remains with us. I'm sure our other baby would want that”,he wrapped his arms around her trying to exude the love and support.
Olivia became moved by the tenderness between the two, “I'll go pack a bag for you to change Saige once your released. I'll be back soon, `` she quietly left the room and the couple to their thoughts.
“Valtoria will be good for us love… some time away from the palace. There is a lot that needs to be settled there . I only want you to focus on getting better and stronger. You are fierce and determined Saige. You are a force to be reckoned with in this country. I am so proud to have you in my life … as my wife...as the mother of my children… as my queen.” He kneeled before his queen kissing her hand, “I love you today just as much as the day we got married for the first time.” Liam flashed back to the afternoon in the judge;s chambers they traded vows of love and devotion,
“...I only live to serve you. I want my duty to be putting a larger smile on your face than the day before...You have shown me your my lighthouse in the storm guiding me safely to harbor. I vow to trust you and I to seek the right path… not always the easy one…”
Liam kissed the top of her head, “ I intend to live up to my vows love. I truly believe that Valtoria will become a respite during this challenging time. Today we face this hospital room mourning a great loss and crime...tomorrow you and I will wake up in paradise amongst the fields, wild flowers, mountains, streams,and waterfalls. Valtoria will be an oasis.. Our home away from home until you are ready to face the palace again.
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neo-culture-mafia · 5 years
Text
Chest Fire (l.dh)
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Warnings: |Strong Themes| |Triggering Themes|
Summary: He wasn't the same. No one was, really. But, especially him...Donghyuck. He lost you and can't bear feeling sober anymore. He needed to be numb so he didn't feel himself and get lost in his own mind. But the guys are getting tired of watching Donghyuck drink away his money--but the damage had already been done.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Donghyuck stumbled the now home feeling club where sweaty bodies pressed against each other and peach scented vodka drifted through the humid and sticky air.
The alcohol was making his fingers turn into fire as his toes curled in his combat boots. Another random girl walked up to offer him a dance, but he turned her away already knowing that she couldn't move like you. You were special, and no whore at the club could compare to you, yet he still came crawling back here for the simple fact he couldn't crawl back into bed with you.
He was lost and needed help because his heart was losing its sense of direction. The booming of the bass vibrated through his shoes as his fingers curled into his palm. He needed to stay balanced and he was finding it harder with every passing minute.
He lousily made his way over to a bar stool, not wasting a second before sitting down. "Anoth-" Hyuck was cut off by the bartender. "Im sorry buddy, I'm cutting you off. You've had way too much to drink tonight." He said and Donghyuck was just sitting there, his mouth wide open in shock.
"I am...You-you should..." He slurred over his words, trying to at least get 5 more drinks out of the bartender he now deemed as a friend. Yet, this guy saw himself as Hyuck's friend too, and friends don't let each other kill themselves by drinking their pain away...even though it might help.
Yet, the raging fire in Hyuck's chest only became more apparent at the sudden news of his cut off.
"I think it's time I call Mark, Hyuck. It's time to go home." The bartender said grabbing his phone from his back pocket; and like a cherry bomb...Hyuck exploded.
"No." He slammed his fists on the bar like a 5 year old. "No no no." He repeatedly said slamming his hands down. "Give me more. You're not my father." Donghyuck said and the bartender just sighed and felt pity at the sight.
Stares were coming from each direction as the man gave in to Donghyuck's wants for more liquor. Hyuck sat down, drinking his beer through a straw because he had read somewhere that women liked 'sophisticated' men. Yet, even after 20 minutes of him sitting there sipping his bitter liquid through a neon yellow bendy straw, he finally gave up when he was now drinking air through the endless loops of the bendy plastic.
Even if someone came over and talked to him, he knows he could never take them home to where you used to lay; where you and him had pillowtalks; where you and him did things that only the moon kept secret. It would never be the same...no matter what girl came skipping along.
This was his last resort on trying to cap the memories he had with you. The alcohol was no match for his loneliness though, and it was starting to show. "Hey buddy, you good?" The bartender asked, putting a hand on Hyuck's shoulder. "Uh yeah...totally." Donghyuck chuckled. He turned to face the other man again. "How much is my tab?" Hyuck asked as he grabbed his wallet.
"Why? Usually you pay after 2 weeks." The guy said as he dried a glass lazily. "Not this time my man." Hyuck said fooling around with his wallet. "No, seriously. It's fine." The bartender said going into a folder and ripping up pieces of paper that were labeled as receipts.
"I was gonna pay!" Hyuck said getting defensive. "No...I promise it's fine." The bartender said and Hyuck groaned as he still slipped a 100 out and gave it the worker. "For all the trouble I caused." He said and the man just grabbed it hesitantly. "Thank you?" He questioned, but Hyuck was already out the door with another beer in his ring adorned hand.
He stumbled in a literal circle for 20 minutes. "Hyuck." He heard someone call. It sounded like you. He immediately stopped and looked at the beer. "Hyuck!" Someone screamed this time. "Y/n?" He called out, turning around now. His heard was whooshing with all the passing traffic; all the bright city lights blending together. The fire on his chest wanting to grow more and more at the such sweet sound.
"Y/n!" He yelled and the people passing him gave dirty looks but he was trying to find you. "Hyuck." Someone grabbed him from behind. He whirled around and was met eye to eye...with Jaemin. "...y/n..." is all that Hyuck muttered to himself.
"No. It's Jaemin." Jaemin reassured and the delirious boy could only nod, meaning he could understand him. "It's time to go home now." Jaemin said holding Hyuck's arm and leading him to a car.
"Can we go to y/n's place?" Hyuck asked like a five year old who just lost his favorite toy. Jaemin opened the passenger door and helped the boy in.
You and Jaemin were twins. You were siblings but acted like best friends, so naturally when you and Hyuck started dating, the three of you became family. So seeing Hyuck so hung up about you leaving him...it hurts Jaemin too.
"I don't think that's a good idea, buddy." Jaemin sighed, buckling his best friend up. "Please. I need to see her." Hyuck gripped Jaemin's hand. "Please." He choked out, tears ready to spill at any moment.
Jaemin removed his hand and groaned; slamming the door with such a force that it rocked the car a little.
-------------
"We're here." Jaemin braked hardly infront of the homes for you and what seemed like a million other people. Hyuck was jolted awake, but he was still thankful for the hour trip Jaemin made.
Jaemin just looked out his window and sulked like a pouty baby. Hyuck had sobered up a little and he was able to control himself and his own body.
He hopped out of the car and walked the short way to the gate. He opened the small gate and walked up the foot path to your house. The walking distance felt like muscle memory as he recognized the familiar feeling.
He was then met with the glimmering marble stuck in the ground. He stared at your engraved name in the ground. He just sighed, falling to his knees. "...hey baby..." He said sitting on his bottom and crossing his legs so he sat like a kindergartener in class.
"I miss you." He sighed again, tracing hearts next to your name. "Jaemin misses you...he's just...scared to come visit you..." Hyuck said looking back to the boy sitting in the car. Even in the complete darkness of night, anyone could see Jaemin's body shake with sobs. The light behind him made it look like a shillouete. It was absolutely beautiful yet heartbreaking.
Yet his body straightened again and you could see Jaemin light a cigarette quickly.
Donghyuck looked back down to you. "Jaemin started smoking again." He sighed and picked at the weeds growing around your headstone. "Renjun doesn't come out of his room except for missions." He said and recalled what the others were doing.
"I caught Jisung in your room, trying to talk to you...he's been a mess." Hyuck told of the younger boy, totally lost with the fact you aren't around anymore. "And...we're just all...really sorry it happened like this."
You died in a mission gone wrong. You had the option of staying in the truck with Chenle, or accompying Hyuck and Jaemin into the warehouse where Jeno, Renjun, and Jisung were working undercover. You all didn't hear the man sneaking up behind you, and when you did...it was too late.
Hyuck was twirling his engagement ring around his finger. "This is useless." He said and took it off, setting it right next to yours that was locked in marble forever. He leaned back and looked at the stars. They were so bright that night. It was crazy. "...let me let you go already..." He mumbled as he watched a star fizzle out completely.
"I love you." Hyuck said leaning down and kissing your stone sweetly. "...wait for me..." He said as he got up and walking away back to the car. He hopped in, now completely sober after the experience.
"Ready?" Your brother asked, ready to speed away from this place that held you imprisoned. "Yeah...I'm ready." Hyuck said and they zoomed away as if they were still threatened by the attacker that took you.
"..soon enough..." Hyuck whispered to himself, setting his chin in his hand and looking into the city. "...soon enough..." He closed his eyes.
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THE NEXT DAY
Hyuck didn't sleep at night, literally. He sat up on the rug the whole night, afraid of the harsh reality that once he opened his bedroom door, you wouldn't be there. He knew you weren't there, he just doesn't want to accept it.
You both were so strong and had so many plans for the future. You both wanted kids, a home, a life...and it was all down the drain now.
It was just getting harder to live everyday when his every breath felt like a gunshot to the chest. His mind was a bomb, and it was going off every time he is reminded of you and the way you used to tell him it was okay.
"You fucker." Jaemin yelled as he shot the man down quickly. Hyuck dropped his gun and grabbed you as you began to drop.
"Chenle, get 127 unit down here, man down." Jaemin called and Hyuck was still frozen in shock, yet the bullet stuck in your neck made him snap in and out of this icy trance.
"Come on, you got this. Keep your eyes open." Hyuck said taking off his bandana and getting ready to wrap it around your throat so it can stop the bleeding. Yet, you wouldn't be able to breath . Him and Jaemin realised this at the same time, as your eyes became icy and pale. You were dying. You realised this too. It would be a painful and gruesome way to go, but it was happening.
"It's okay." You motioned with your mouth, the hole in your throat, not letting you speak. The look on your fiancés face would haunt you to the other side. He looked so...scared. "It's okay. I'm here." You mouthed again and touched his cheek. He just looked down at you as you took your final breath. Jaemin hasn't told anyone yet, but he was so ready to pop one on himself in that very moment, yet he was so convinced this was a dream that all he did was stare down at your cold and pale face.
Jaemin woke up the next morning and wished he didn't. Hyuck didn't sleep till the next night; he was too afraid of the dark and the thoughts that would cloud his mind once he was alone, wanting to be with you.
Hyuck was now laying in a baby position, holding his legs close to his chest. The knocking on the door brought him out of his dark thoughts. "Open." He mumbled and the door opened to Jaemin.
"Dude...we've been at training for an hour now." He said and all Hyuck did was nod, understanding what he was saying. "Sorry?" He yawned and Jaemin slumped at his friends expression.
He sat down next to his laying position.
It was pure silence until it was sliced by Hyuck's heartbreaking confession. "It hurts." He said, and Jaemin didn't have to be a genius to figure out what he was talking about. "I know...i know." He said putting his hand on Donghyuck's shoulder. "It hurts so much." Hyuck cried, curling up into a tighter ball.
The firey feeling in Hyuck's chest was like never before. It felt so much different as your literal other half held him as he cried like a child.
The burning was unbearable as his eyes screwed shut in pure agony. Jaemin couldn't help the tears from pouring either. Sitting on the ground in yours and Hyuck's apartment was all too real. It was too real you weren't here anymore.
Hyuck finally calmed down and looked to his friend. "...please...please end this..." He begged and Jaemin couldn't yell at him. He wanted to end this pain too. The bottle of aspirin wasn't doing anything anymore. It all hurt too much for any medication to numb it.
"...I'm...not going to kill you..." Jaemin breathed, the words falling out of his mouth. "...please..." Hyuck became desperate to make the raging in his chest and head stop.
"I'm...no." Jaemin said standing up now, leaving Hyuck on the floor. "It hurts...I know...It hurts like hell. But, you can't give up now. She wouldn't be happy with this..." Jaemin started getting into his own mind.
He had been so long without one of your hugs or seeing you smile at his surprise tickle attacks.
"I...I know it seems like the only way. I know that." Jaemin said pulling at his hair.
"Because it is." Hyuck bursted through the air, throwing the TV remote at the wall. It ended up hitting the vase and made it shatter into a million little pieces.
"I'm tired! I'm tired of coming home alone! I could lie, and say it's okay and that I like it that way, but I don't!" Hyuck screamed, kicking things around to get his point across.
"It feels as if I'll never be happy again, and at this point I don't care. I just want this..." Hyuck said pointing to himself and all around the room. "this....I want this to end..."
They were left together in the quiet room, the only sound being their breathing. They could only look at each other at a time like this.
-----------
"I just don't know what to say anymore." Mark sighed as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair. They were all in practice, and Jaemin had left about an hour ago to find Donghyuck.
"None of us do." Renjun mumbled, twisting his leather bracelet around his wrist.
"He's gonna end up killing himself if we don't do something." Mark said what everyone was thinking. "We just need to get him out of the house." Mark finished as he grabbed his jacket.
"No...we should let him be alone...he'll just be aggressive if we tell him to move on." Jisung finally piped in, trying to get everyone to turn around and leave Hyuck alone.
"Jaemin has it...it will be okay." Jisung said, more of assuring himself than anyone else.
Everyone looked at each other in silence, even though they knew it wouldn't be okay...ever.
"...okay..." Mark said dropping his jacket and walking back over slowly.
"...30 pushups..." Mark said and the Junior Forces hit the ground, their worry and fear going into the performance they were all wearing on their face.
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"...i'm cold..." Jaemin muttered and Hyuck could only nod, the tears falling down into the blue water. "...me too..." He muttered.
He held Jaemin close to his chest, the water sloshing over the sides a little bit. "...it's going to be okay..." Jaemin reassured Hyuck, but also himself. "...i know..." was all that was muttered from the slightly older boy.
"...thank you..." was the last thing said by Hyuck before he grabbed Jaemin's hand. He closed his eyes as the banging and yells from the front door began to get more violent, the rest of the units trying to get to them. Yet, they were in the bathroom and no one could make it to them in time. It was already over.
Jaemin gripped Hyuck's hand one more time as he felt everything become still, shuttering in the cold water that entrapped both of their bodies. Both of their eyes closing, and the raging fire in their chests finally stopped....
...everything stopped...
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○••••••••••••••••○
I honestly think this is the worst thing I have ever written, to be completely honest.
I might do a couple time stamps for what happens after...but...yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, and sorry in advance if I made you cry.
Love,
~J
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bts5sosempire · 5 years
Text
BTS Reaction: argument = kissing
A/n: this comes up to me in the middle of the night.
Kim Seokjin:
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(A/n: his chest and shoulders can bulldozer me, I would still be thanking him.)
You don't know when you both starting to become petty with each other, one thing led to another as you were trying to calm down and Jin was heaving.
“If I heard one more word coming out of that mouth Jin, I won't regret what is going to be the outcome.” You warn the man as he rolls his eyes at you. Obviously, Jin isn't going to let you have the last word.
“Look here, if you thought that Mr. Worldwide would-”
In the speed of light and act of impulsiveness, you grab Jin face while he was still talking and kiss him to shut him up. Jin's eyes were wide at your boldness and he just relaxes into the kiss.
“You talk too much.” Saying in between the kisses, he rests his forehead against yours.
“I like this outcome,” he murmurs against your lips before the both of you stumble back onto the couch. He decides to forget what the heck you both were arguing about and so did you. You both just decide to make-out on the couch.
Min Yoongi:
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Both you and Yoongi went out on a date and it ends up is a disaster as you were getting angry and fuming at the young girls who kept on clingy onto his arms and shoulders. It was supposed to be you and his moment, after all, since Yoongi has been busy with work and tour he barely gets free time off.
When you guys get home, you quietly walk into the shared apartment and throw all your stuff aside on the couch, you had decided to cut the date short and go home.
“We can still go on another date (Name), we still have time.” Yoongi tries to convince you, but you're obviously not having it.
“No, I don't want to anymore,” you huff out and walk into the kitchen and out with a soju in your hand, “it's going to be the same result anyway.”
“Look all I want to do was spend time with you, and this is what happened.” He was getting mad too.
“Don't tell me to 'look this is going to happen' bullcrap,” you raise your voice, which is something you rarely do but when and its a different outcome. “I barely get to see you, heck since we are often from different time zone when you're on tour I missed you badly. And those girls cling into you like a lifeline and you didn't bother to brush them off. I just- ughhhhh!” Stressing out more, you don't even want to talk to Yoongi anymore. “Forget it.”
You stood up and walk try to walk away but Yoongi isn't going to let you leave him. He grabs your arm and spins around to meet him, as he encircles his arms around your waist. Yoongi bends down to kiss you as he starts pushing you to walk backward to the shared bedroom.
Jung Hoseok:
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You have been having a hard time convincing Hoseok to go and have fun for a least once now, as he was being cooped up inside his little studio. You don't when did the soul of Yoongi have entered him.
“Hoseok just once alright? You've been locked inside here for like almost a week now.”
“I'll come out when later.”
“That's what you said like three days ago...”
“Alright what do you want me to do?” Hoseok raises his voice at you. He put down his headphone and stood up to face you, who had a look of shock all over your face. “I've been trying to get work done all these last few days and all I heard was you telling me, ‘Hoseok let's go out today, Hosoek this Hoseok that’.”
“Well fine then, enjoy your life here, all I ask was for one day. Just one day where I can help you ease your mind and help you relax. I just think maybe new ideas would help you if you go out and find inspiration, but since you're so pissy I'll leave you alone.” You throw the anger back at him. Turning on your heels, you madly left.
Hoseok stood rooted to the ground as the door slammed didn't even registered in his mind. He was focusing on your words. All you ever wanted was for him to self-care.
“Crap,” Hoseok rush out of the room and chase after you. He wasn't about to lose you.
He saw you pressing the elevator button aggressively as your mood seems to burn everything that moves or cross your way. You're definitely mad. Hoseok saw you entered the elevator and sprint.
Just as the door was about to close, he extends an arm to stop the door from closing. “What do you want now?” Scowling at him, Hoseok pushes the door aside and bring you into a kiss.
“I'm sorry.” Was the only thing he said before he went back to kissing you.
Kim Namjoon:
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The talk about philosophy was supposed to be light-hearted and entertaining to the open-minded, but things got intense as Namjoon and you add something else into the mixing pot.
“Namjoon, that isn't what I said!” You told the man who was sitting next to you and had his leg cross over one another. He took a sip of wine out of his glass cup elegantly.
“But the way you kept gushing over him told me otherwise.” He didn't spare you a glance.
“It was just an old crush from high school!” You took your own cup and grab the time bottle with you, “You're such an a-hole I don't like him that way anymore, maybe he would've understood me better instead of being petty with me.” Leaving Namjoon alone, his ears perk up at those words.
Are you kidding him? Namjoon stood up from the couch and walk after you, “What did you say?”
“You're the one who asks me about him and gets all butt hurt when I talk about him!” Shouting behind you, Namjoon entered the kitchen and sees you down the whole wine bottle and was in the process of opening another one.
“But you didn't have to talk like you're still in love with him,” Namjoon stops in front of you and you can't help it but roll your eyes once again.
“What's wrong with me admiring another person? Look Namjoon I wouldn't have dated you in the first place if I wasn't so in love with you.”
Namjoon places his glass down on the marble counter and grab your face as your eyes didn't meet his, “I shouldn't have asked about him in the first place. I'm just scared that you're still in love with him, but since hearing about you loving I already feel better.”
“You silly goofball.” Smiling and this time looking at him, you tiptoe to kiss him and he accepted the kiss.
Park Jimin:
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Jimin insecurities got the best of him as he sees chatting with an older and much more handsome man, he's even tall too. He knows he shouldn't assume you, but he can't help it, the way he makes you laughs and smile. Jimin's mood already sinks so low that all emotions left his face.
“Alright thank you, Jong Suk Sunbaenim.” Thanking him you left to go fetch Jimin. You and Jimin got lost in a huge mall that had recently open and you have happened to meet Lee Jong Suk, who was your senior in the acting field. He was also like an older brother to you as you told him about your destination and situation and he was happy to help. “Jimin! Let's go!”
The man stood up from the bench and walk on ahead. You run to catch up with him. “Jimin we are on the wrong floor level, we are on the 3rd floor.” Showing him the map, you pointed out where you both are at right now and tell him where to go to.
Grabbing his hand he pulls away from you, which made you frown but didn't question his behavior. Jimin walks on ahead and you just trail behind him, not next to him.
It has been an hour into the date and he was still silent. Jimin didn't even look at you as he was busy picking out clothes. Your phone went off and you reach into your pocket and it was Jong Suk.
«‘Have you two made it?’»
Smiling down at your phone, you text back.
«‘Yeah we found it, thank you Sunbaenim! :)’»
Jimin who was observing you found you to be smiling and his mood turns sour. “Who are you texting?”
“Lee Jong Suk sunbaenim, why?" He scoffs before turning his back towards to you and went back doing his business. “What is your problem?” Standing up from your seat, you grab his arm and turn him around to face you again. “Why are you suddenly so cold to me? I am about to be at my limit to you know? I've been patient with you and if you don't tell me what is bothering you or what the heck I did wrong to make you mad and upset Jimin, I don't know what to do.” Jimin being stubborn grab his arm from your hold and walk away. “Fine, be that way then.”
Grabbing your bags and purse, you walk out on him and decide to go home.
You happened to bump into your Sunbaenim again, as he saw how upset you were. “What happened this time?”
You ironically laugh at the question. “I don't know, boyfriend is stupid and upset at me and doesn't tell me what's going on.” Jong Suk seated you down on an empty bench, so you both can have a better talk. Jimin who feel guilty about his action decide to chase after you right after you left. He stops and sees you talking to Jong Suk while wiping your tears away while you try not to cry, but failed to do so.
“(Name),” Jimin appear from his spot and Jong Suk stood up to leave. But not before giving the younger one a lecture.
“If you keep upsetting my little sister like this, I have no choice but to take action against you.” He warns Jimin as he patted him on the shoulder. “She's really sensitive, stop making her cry.” Jong Suk then left.
Jimin to console you. He started saying strings of apologies and kissing your cheeks before hugging you.
Kim Taehyung:
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Taehyung doesn't know what is running through his mind when he saw you dancing with another male. The man was touching you and grinding on you, but he didn't see you were trying to get away as you feel uncomfortable. Or did he?
You try to pull and walk away from the man, but he just grabbed your waist and pull you closer to him. “Excuse me, but could you please let me go?” The man seems to ignore your words and his hands were all over you. Taehyung stood up from his seat and grab you from the guy. And the guy was pissed off.
“Hey, can't you see I was dancing with her?”
“She's my girlfriend so you can buzz off.” Taehyung harshly pulls you along with him and you both left the club early.
“I was thinking when you were going to come and-”
“Why didn't you push or walk away from him?"
“I did, but he kept trying to pull me back. You didn't think that I wasn't trying?”
“You didn't seem like it.”
“Are you kidding me right now?” You let out a breath of disbelief, “You know what? F you Taehyung, don't think of me so low as a cheap woman, I've been nothing but loyal to you so don't go and start doubting me. I told you this was a bad idea in the first place.”
“So this is my fault?”
“I'm not even going to argue with you. I'll take my own cab and leave you to cool off while I do the same.” You turn to walk the opposite way and try to flag down a cab.
“You and I need to talk,” Taehyung went to grab your arm.
“Not like this when you and I are both angry,” you pull back and continue to flag down a cab.
“I didn't ask you.” He pulls you away to an alleyway. “I don't like the way he kept touching you, it drives me insane.” He starts kissing you. He hoists one of your legs to wrap around his waist. “I'll make sure all you remember is me.” Taehyung starts getting aggressive with the kiss.
Jeon Jungkook:
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You both were arguing over a video game about cheating and who win or lose the game. This ends up being a wrestling match as Jungkook ended up accidentally tripping the wire to the PS4, making you lose your winning streaks.
You let out a screech and continue to hit him until he ended up elbowing your nose and it gets serious as a pool of red, coated your white shirt, or his shirt to be exact that you're wearing.
So you both end up on the couch and with you sulking and told him to go away. “I hate you, leave me alone you cheater.”
“Okay, I'm sorry.” He coddles you and starts kissing your cheeks and forehead to make you feel better. Jungkook pulls you into his lap and singing to you.
It didn't take long to get you to be happy.
(A/n: I'm running out of ideas for this boy lol.)
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