#I AM mortified too by this whole thing tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

izloveshorses · 7 months

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🎇

I feel really embarrassed about asking this but...

How do you write smut without feeling really embarrassed about it

✹ wildcard - ask any other question you have!

thank you for asking this!! first of all, i am embarrassed about it, so so so embarrassed, let me make that clear 🙈 every time i click publish, i'm like

but it's a small fandom, someone has to do it. and it's kinda fun once you get used to it. being able to write it has been... idk, freeing? it's allowed me to explore facets of these characters that i haven't felt comfy exploring on main before. and i feel like a whole slew of creative opportunities have opened up, and i feel a little braver attempting to try them out. once i got comfortable with it i kinda feel a little unstoppable now ngl.

while i'm by no means an expert on writing smut (absolutely not an expert asdlkfh), here are a couple tips that have helped me feel braver and might help you do the same:

this isn't a very productive piece of advice, but when i first published explicit smut i just kinda.... turned my brain off and blacked out until i was done typing lol. like i just drafted something from beginning to end without stopping, because if i slowed down or stopped in the middle and started thinking about how embarrassing this was i would never finish it. i still do this tbh. getting over this little mental embarrassment is the first and most important step, everything else follows.

read smut. i know everyone has different tastes and stuff, but exposing yourself to the language used helps sort of desensitize you in a way.

imitate what you like to read. as a continuation of the previous point: read smut, yes, but read smut you like. what about it is good and memorable to you? take note of the way it's written, how explicit it is, the language used, etc. don't like copy it word for word, but just pay attention to the style and start asking yourself why you like it.

like with any creative hobby: practice! write bad drafts!! write stuff that will never see the light of day!! the more you practice, the more comfy you'll get writing things you want to share.

remember that whatever you write will find the right audience. folks want to read it! and they are very happy you typed it out and published it for free!!

sometimes i start wondering if what i'm writing is Cringe, because the only thing more mortifying than writing smut for a niche fandom is writing bad smut for a niche fandom, but someone once said that what excites you as a writer most likely excites your readers, too. lean into that.

also. if you start thinking what you write is Bad or Cringe, just remember. jj abrams and a whole table of Professional people decided to make a star wars sequel trilogy without even bothering to write an outline first. the bar is literally on the floor. <3

Hope this helps!! if anyone else, perhaps someone more versed in this matter than myself, has any words of advice, feel free to drop them below <3

fic ask game!

#asks #Anonymous #ask games #fanfiction #my writing #smut #this is a great question anon!!!

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atlantis-just-drowned · 6 days

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howdy !! might I request some pluto x reader content with a reader that really likes to fluster him playfully? assuming they're taller than him, maybe just leaning down to whisper in his ear, grabbing his waist, etc., etc. tysm !!

A/N: Hi thank you for your request!! I made this a gn!reader as usual, I'm starting to realize I'm more comfortable with writing gender neutral or nb/masc aligned reader headcanons so I'll probably stick with that for now. Anyway I hope you'll enjoy this!

Pluto x tall!gn!reader who likes to fluster him

Please reblog this post to show support! Reblogs are what keep me going!

Oh gods

This boy is so easy to fluster

I mean literally just seeing you already makes him feel things

But now you are actually noticing him?

Touching him even?

He knows this academy is far from being some sort of Heaven but he never felt closer of it in his whole existence

Pluto definitely is touch starved but-

With you it's different

It feels like your hands are straight up made of electricity

To the point of sending shivers down his spine just by laying a hand in the small of his back

He is mortified about it

More generally he's just so embarrassed about how sensitive he is around you, it makes him want to hide away from the entire world but he just can't help himself

Don't get me wrong tho he would be the most desperate man of this whole dimension if you stopped giving him so much affection

He fucking loves it

Being the center of your attention is some sort of dream-come-true to him

He just wishes it wasn't that obvious to others

Because Lenore and Duke most definitely tease him about it

I mean how could they not?

All it takes for you is whisper a few praises in his ears and he is a mess. Face 20 shades darker, breathing chaotic, legs trembling, knees ready to buckle, and heartbeat so fast the rest of the Misfits got scared he was having a heart attack

And despite it all, he still has a large, wobbly smile plastered on his face

The first time you saw Pluto like that you were honestly concerned about him too

But after a while it became some sort of goal to you

You just couldn't stop yourself, his flustered reactions were so precious that you wanted to experience every one of them, again, and again, and again and again and again and again-

Every blush, every shudder, every squirm, every shaky breath, every sound of embarrassment or surprise, every single grasp at your arm or shoulders to try desperately to keep his composure

I am not joking when I say Pluto is desperate for your affection

Because he is

He definitely is

Don't push it too far though because the smallest things already threaten to make him crumble

And I'm desperately trying to keep it SFW but please just look at the guy-

Over time he'll get used to the teasing

... Eventually.

He'll still blush and get surprised but maybe not with the same level of intensity in his reactions

Except if you catch him off-guard

Which you're incredibly skilled at tbh

But one thing you'll experience more often as he gets more comfortable is how he actually responds to it

I mean you're here, leaning down behind him just enough to rest your chin on his shoulder and wrap your arms around his waist

And of course he jumps out of surprise and yelp

But then instead of pulling away he actually

He actually raises a hand to cup your cheek and melts against you

You uh

Didn't expect that to be honest?

If he feels particularly clingy he might even bury his face in your neck

If you get flustered about it in return he will call you out on it

What can I say

It's his personal little revenge for the constant teasing

#pluto nevermore #nevermore webtoon #nevermore webcomic #nevermore #nevermore pluto #answered #whispers from atlantis

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avpdvoidspace · 3 months

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you mentioned in another post that you tend to get obsessive/possessive-ish with safe people and tbh !! I go through a very similar experience. while I AM a total shut-in and rarely interact with others I have also gotten really really codependent with certain "safe people", I read a book excerpt once that said the possessive/codependent tendencies are a part of avpd but haven't seen it discussed anywhere else :(

I haven't had a REAL safe person in years (last one took advantage of that and gave me some nasty ptsd yeowch. I just can't connect with real people like that anymore), but sometimes I develop similar feelings about comfort characters. other people call it a hyperfixation but I'm not autistic/adhd and it definitely feels nothing like how hyperfixations are described. same business tho- I get weirdly possessive with a single character at a time for several years and I do the whole "fantasizing about acceptance and intimacy with them" too. it feels safer in a way but at the same time I block people who like the same character because it makes me insecure LOL. maybe I'll go back to real people someday.

back to the main point tho. I'm not necessarily needy for attention and as you've also said before, when I feel I like a (real) person TOO much I will get scared to be around them and push them away. I am very good at keeping people at an arm's length so the incoming rejection doesn't hurt as bad 💔💔 ahah. BUT I have experienced those feelings of obsession and possessiveness when I've gotten close to people in the past, they can sometimes manifest in a weird aggression but for the most part they just make me anxious and self-conscious (doesn't everything tho?). fun times! it's kinda comforting hearing that other people go through something similar.

Take into consideration that I also do have ocpd (although I think this isn't uncommon for people with avpd) but yeah. The obsession when it comes to a real person can be terrifying because it gives them the power to absolutely shatter you with very little effort, so it gets scary and you can really get the impulse to push them away in case. Real people aside, fictional characters... yeah. I think people with cluster C PDs have our own unique 'type' of hyperfixation that doesn't function exactly like an autistic or adhd person (not that you can't have one or both of these AND be cluster C). It's not something I've seen professionals talk about, but anecdotally, it seems to be true of us. I have a fictional character I've been obsessed with for decades and sometimes when I'm alone, I kind of fantasize that I either am or am with said character just going about my daily tasks and whatnot. Also do this with OCs to a lesser degree... Even before this character, I had others I did this with, going all the way back to early childhood. It was always somewhere between maladaptive daydreaming and actually acting out conversations/activities. It's kind of mortifying to admit, but that's how deep the obsessed/similar thing to hyperfixation goes. I don't know if this is close to what you're talking about but yeah. This level of obsession extends to other areas of my life too, like interests, hobbies, and skillbuilding. It's akin to hyperfixation but imo has its own unique cluster C vibe. Thanks for the ask!

#avpd #avoidant personality disorder

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dangerously-human · 10 months

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Bible study bestie got married yesterday! It was an absolutely beautiful wedding. I'm also giving myself points because I danced at a damn wedding (of our best friends, no less) with my recently-ex crush and only sort of drifted off into "what if" thoughts a couple times, and shut them down quickly; well done, me. (This after not seeing him for a whole month, too! I expected it to be harder, tbh, and maybe intermittently it was, but not like I worried it might be.) Also, attended this wedding with the friend I just recently had the "so it seems like maybe there's a one-sided thing here building, maybe? And yeah, no" conversation with (and I was WRONG, it was mortifying, and let me tell you that if either of us were neurotypical my suspicions would absolutely have been correct, but we're both autistic as hell and therefore all bets are off), insomuch as I attended with anyone, and it wasn't even awkward (which like, in fairness, it shouldn't be at this point, we've hashed everything out and it's honestly so much easier having more open communication and being able to joke around with him as basically my little brother), and we had a little heartfelt, teasing/apologetic/genuine "you're one of my best friends" "ah, same" moment on the drive (sorry to our friends in the backseat, we're incapable of not making things weird in some capacity at all times). So, I'm just saying, I am becoming the reluctant queen of recovering from uncomfortable situations and being so normal about them, which is a skill. We all danced a bunch, which at an outdoor wedding in July meant all of us spent the evening dreaming of cold showers, and my favorite bit was everyone from church tearing it up together to a song our youth group/children's ministry and everyone who's ever chaperoned retreats with them always goes hard to. The couple had all the guests highlight favorite Bible verses and leave notes in the margin to encourage them in their marriage, and I think that is the sweetest idea, I'm totally doing that if I ever get married. Anyway! This is a mess of a reflections post, but that's the main reason I'm so exhausted today, but it was so so good and I'm so happy for my bestie!!

#personal #state of the heart address

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rosyandraw · 9 months

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I feel like you are basically asking for an unwholesome question , so:

Is there a kinky sex scene you would have loved to write into NMFY but couldn’t make fit with the flow of the narrative?

If so, tell me more.

If not, lie.

Hey my lovely! Hope you have had a good couple of weeks!

Hahaha I love unwholesome questions, they make my world go around!

And yes there are a few

I had one in mind where it was another public event before the doomed bachelor parties that involved a vibrating plug and Damen casually playing with Laurent under the table until they had to leave and fucked in the back of a moving car.

In the original bathroom scene draft things went much further too but it didn't feel right so I cut it out, worked for the tension but sucked to cut it haha.

I also toyed with the idea of a cock-warming scene. They were at Laurent's and Damen had him in his lap, facing away from him and they're wrapped up in a blanket watching a film, they're mostly fully clothed and Ancel comes home unexpectedly and breezes into the room to talk at them. And laurent is mortified and still but Damen kind of casually continues the conversation whilst Laurent squirms and tries not to make it obvious that Damen keeps pushing his hips up or running his hand over his cock.

The fun part was when Ancel leaves he made a comment that makes Laurent aware he'd known the whole time what was happening and had drawn the conversation out on purpose.

When Ancel leaves and Damen becomes aware that Laurent is incredibly turned on and hard af he makes laurent keep still for the rest of the film and if he can then he'll fuck him properly and if not then he'd be punished with no orgasm at all. He was going to sit still, obviously.

I was -and am- genuinely sad it didn't fit anywhere haha

Tbh I toyed with a few ways to get Ancel involved - threesome, voyeurism, them watching his online content, him listening in etc but it wasn't right for the characters and didn't make sense so I had to stop being thirsty lmao

I do have a couple more but they are still contenders so i'll keep those to myself for now haha 💕💕

#asks #nmfy #savoytrufflephd

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djs-horny-blog-lmao · 10 months

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do you have any hypno writers you really like? either for TSS or just in general. your writing is great so I feel like you'd have good taste in recs

- 👽

first off, 🥺 that's really sweet thank you

second off, i don't think im going to have a very good answer for you. legitimately, i used to trawl the nsfs/nsfw tags the most,,, back in about 2019?? and the landscape of who's writing and how much is being written has changed a surprising amount, and I can't remember for the life of me who i used to read.

the sanders stuff? fuck dude i dont remember anyone other than @/tulipanthousa in specific, but i remember reading good stuff. God. i remember tss kinktober 2019 was really good but i cannot rely on tumblr ever being able to take me back that far.

when it comes to just hypnokink blogs? again a lot of the stuff i initially microdosed on is actually gone (i joined tumblr first for porn but also like,,,, ten months before the porn ban)

But i am still gonna list a whole bunch of blogs i find inspiring / hot. tho tbh you might have guessed some of these already based on my rb history

(im also not tagging ANYONE bc im just some rando fandom smut blog and that'd be mortifying >.<)

@/of-mutts-and-men just hits that monsterfucker vibe perfectly. a lot of werewolf vibes and ive been so into that lately. also a healthy dose of mind-fuckery.

@/aspiring-house-husband has really good hypno story posts (and non hypno) but just. clenches fist. the eroticism is off the charts. their posts are So inspiring. and so fucking hot. drives me crazy insane.

@/erogenousmind also is top notch and im pretty sure, from memory, has some really good hypno scripts? im picky w/ scripts, i dont like ones that try bait you into reblogging at the end >.< and a lot of them dont necessarily pace well, but i remember this person's stuff being Good

@/yoyomindloops is v much the same as above. they have that erotic hypno dnd series. good shit.

and tho im p sure theyre not on tumblr anymore actively, the blog is still up, and @/lewd-zko's art is just. such internet hypnokink classic.

im also gonna cite 2 like,,, 'makes hypno porn video content' things that i find really inspiring/hot too (tho i will admit, ive never bought their things, i dont exactly have the privacy to do so nor the funds)

@/the-hedge-hypnotist was a guy i remember has been around for ages and has been like,,, solidly one of the Ethical Hypno Content Guys? there's been... a fair amount of drama over the years, it seems, but yeah. he always super cites the models he works with and even the teasers for what they make is super top notch and really erotic. i remember one i was obsessed w/ was super eldritch horror... and i didnt even think i was into that

and lastly, a site that's been driving me insane and im actually gonna link it directly, is Mesmerotic. their people are hot, theyre hypno is hot and real and genuine, and even tho like,,, i can't buy their stuff yet, their teasers/snippets are insanely good. and they do some versatile things!

the other major idea spinner, other than my own brain, is actually DM's with a bestie ^-^' it's no more than plotting erotic fics together (it's actually for a different fandom, i reuse the ideas and she doesn't mind) but got ae have some good kinky ideas. the superhero stuff? that was aem.

...i dont know if this is quite what you meant, but... yeah! fdkgjfdg

#asks #dj monologues #i hope this is helpful

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flames-tstuff · 1 year

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GUYS. GUYS. I DID IT. I ACTUALLY DID IT.

I told one of my close friends (who I knew would be totally accepting) that I liked tickling. I was mortified the entire time (and still am tbh 😅) and of course she responded with only love and assurance. I still feel kinda sick to my stomach from the whole thing and I still don't know whether it was worth the anxiety or not, but the fact is that I DID IT. I wasn't sure this day would ever come lol. Like... I can't explain how huge a barrier that was/is. I'm still incredibly embarrassed, but... proud of myself too :)

#i have no words #i just cant believe after so many years i somehow mustered the courage #probably because i actually lost sleep over it last night XD #flame rambles #flame is a disaster. a raging dumpster fire if you will #anyways i hope you all are having a good night hehe

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majaloveschris · 1 year

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I always say we can talk about everything here, as long as we do it respectfully and don't cross the line I set for this blog. And I respect your viewpoint, but I don't believe I am who you believe I am.//

I am not the anon, but I think their hate is more directed at the fandom in general than you, but have decided to use you as their punching bag which is wrong.

You are absolutely right, you have the right to your feeling and assumptions on this situation and you should not be told how to feel. And you have never done of said anything to indicate that you do not respect other people’s opinion. You are one 3.5 blogs on this platform that has been absolutely amazing with the way you think.

If you don’t mind I would like to say a couple of things in regards to this situation because I do feel for the anon. I have personally blown up in another blogs inbox after they posted something that I didn’t agree with. I did apologise because it was not fair to them. I was in wrong because I took out my frustration on the wrong blog.

As a spectator, or someone who watched the fandom from a far and joined in 2020 after the lily james fiasco I can say that the fandom took a complete new shape after the new years 22 incident. And it was disgusting, disturbing, and absolutely mortifying to watch.

I have to say I lost respect to a lot of blogs on this site, especially OG blogs. I think blogs like you who properly and rightfully criticise Alba and co for the problematic things they do are getting lost in the noise others are making in the fandom, because lines are being crossed and boundaries are being pushed in the name of calling out everyone involved in the situation the the message is lost.

Now when people look at the problematic behaviour of Alba and co they will have to see the other hateful things fans have said and done along side them, the way the fandom went around the situation and talked about it and him got the message lost. And that is very frustrating. I have to agree with the anon on the part that he is being bullied and harassed and when it comes to the bigger picture people will only see that and it’s frustrating.

This place has turned into a place of hate and every little thing done is a new way to mock him and it is no longer fun. And when you try and reason or point out this behaviour you only get blocked or mocked or yelled at and this is not recent this has been happening since day one.

I’ll give you a personal example: I am 26 years old, and I look 15, it’s not just my face but my physical appearance, I am short and quite thing and have no great development so I actually look like I am barely grown up. When people started talking about how she looked and how disgusting it was it triggered me, because it made me there something wrong with, like I am not worthy of being noticed or that who ever liked me will probably be a creep or sometime of disgusting groomer. And that I should only date guys who look like they have not passed puberty so that the aesthetics of the relationship don’t look wrong ( and don’t come at me with age thing because I am talking about appearance) it was hurtful and I tried to say something ( and I feel like people will come at me for this) they attacked me, it took a long time to recover from what people were saying. I stepped away from the fandom because everyone was so awful.

Now the situation is a million times worse, because some people have taking it to a whole new lever, you cannot enjoy a picture of him without some mocking him, you cannot have a discussion or a little fun with someone turning the whole conversation nasty and hateful. I stopped going into his rages and unfollowed everyone because it was too much. People are using every simple piece of gossip and turns it and twisted in away to fit the narrative that he is an awful human being.

I personally don’t care about this whole situation, because this is Hollywood he could be doing so much worse TBH. I am probably one of the few people actually looking forward to his projects and cannot wait for them to come out. But it’s the hate has me stepping back and noting wanting to engage with him not him. Because at the end of the day we have no clue hate happens behind closed doors. I love gossip and I love to sit here and speculate but again the fandom took that away from people like me because of their behaviour.

Honestly after the photos came out from the new year I took a step back and took a look at everything as whole, and I realise that unfortunately this behaviour currently happening is not really that unbelievable, the way people were behaving from last year it’s actually shocking some blogs are not sending him “go kill your self” messages and I would not be shocked if that happens soon. And yes I know that a horrible disgusting thing to say but from the way certain people talk I would t shocked if they do say it and support it. I know this horrible and disgusting to say but when you look from the out side that’s where this fandom is going with it’s current behaviour. Don’t come at me for saying this but this is just my observation.

I just want to make it very clear that non of what I said is directed at you mod you are not included in what I said but this regarding the fandom and blogs in general. Like I said you are one of the three sane blogs on this hell side.

I am sorry for my English it’s not my first language and I hope my message come across properly and nothing gets taken out of context I tried my best.

I think the whole NYE thing was the last straw for a lot of people. I believe that the fact that people consistently connect every single woman who has ever breathed next to him or followed him, while many of them do not want him to be in an actual relationship, creates this strange contradiction. I remember a lot of people being against it before anything about her came out, or we started to believe it was all just a bad PR relationship because of her age, which I never really cared about because she is a grown up, the problem is that she doesn't act like one.

I still love Chris, and I believe that if he had known all of this about her at the very beginning, he wouldn't have signed a contract. Sometimes people say stuff about him that I find really cruel and unnecessary. I know he got himself into this on somewhat level, but bullying him won't solve anything.

I know how you feel, and this is one of the things you can't change, and nobody should be bullied because of it. I think it's natural that most people in their twenties look younger than their actual age, and there is nothing wrong with you. I believe the issue in her situation is the way she behaves and represents herself; this is why she appears so much younger in our eyes. Ana, for example, also has a "baby face," or whatever we call it, but she acts like a woman, a grown-up and mature person. But you shouldn't feel bad about the way you look, and people shouldn't make you feel this way either. You deserve love, and you can date whoever you want. You're an adult, and the way you wrote it all down shows that you're a mature adult, and the man you'll end up dating won't be a creep or whatever just because you look a little younger. I know sometimes what people say online can be hurtful, but a lot of people dislike Alba, so the things they said about her don't apply to you.

I understand you, and I'm glad you took a step back when you felt overwhelmed. Your mental health is the most important thing, and you did the right thing. I agree that we need to hold celebrities accountable, and they need to be called out when they do something bad or questionable. But there is such a big difference between calling somebody out and bullying or tearing them down. Death threats are never acceptable. I would never, ever send them on—even to those I hate the most—along with the "you should kill yourself" messages.

Your English is perfectly fine btw ❤️

#majaloveschris #chris and alba pr #cevans-love

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marlettpines · 6 months

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I just need to vent a bit

Tw: car accident mention.

So here's a series of events.

At 16, my mom tells me I should get a driver's license and that my step-dad will teach me over the summer break. Okay, cool.

No one explains to me how that works until the summer is over and no driving lessons happen. When I ask why, I'm told 'well, you never read the driver manual'.

I thought it was going to work like a textbook in class, where we read a bit, practice a thing in the manual, read some more, and so on. Again, up until this point, all I knew about getting my license was that I was legally able to start practicing driving, and at a certain point, there would be a test that I have to pass to get my license.

Throughout the rest of my high school career, it becomes obvious that even if I DID have a license, it wouldn't be possible for me to actually USE it. At any given moment, neither of the household vehicles would be accessible to me. Plus, my city allows students to use public transport for free, so I just didn't see the point.

Anyway, after graduation, I move in with my bio-dad and continue using public transport to get to and from work. His car breaks down, so he goes to buy a new one, bringing me along to 'make sure we pick a car that the whole family likes' (looking back, I think he really only brought me along to use me).

He finds a car for $3500 and decides to buy in cash. Using my money.

He promises to pay me back, and that the car will be mine one day, once he gets a vehicle of his own. Good deal, I think.

We move cities, and the car breaks down after 5 months.

A family friend gifts us an old car, which breaks down within 3 months.

Same family friend gifts us a SECOND car, which is an absolute trooper, tbh. This is a Buick Sedan.

My Uncle offers to pay for driving lessons, so I head off to drive school, which is mostly online, due to Covid. I get 6 hours drive time with the school, everything else must be done at home. All the people I can drive with are either

A) Too busy

B) Extremely anxious/extremely road-ragey

I do not obtain my license at this point.

My father's behavior declines from neglectful to outright abusive, and I move in with my Uncle, who gives me one year to move out.

I find a full-time job and work my butt off, saving every penny I can. In the meantime, he practices driving with me. He tells me I need to be more confident, but I am doing so SO well, and I'm a great driver!

Hooray!

Except, then I make a mistake. I turn right on a red light (which is legal, and actually very common where I live). Nothing happens, no one is hurt, no vehicles are damaged, and we proceed with the drive like normal.

Once we get back to the house, all previous praise immediately dissolves, and Uncle tells me I am simply 'not ready' to get my license. He refuses to drive with me anymore because I 'ran a red light', which 'absolutely mortified' him.

I spend the rest of the year riding my black bicycle to work in the dark in an area with no sidewalk, bike lane, or street lights.

I get my own apartment and move out, continuing to bike to work. When I need groceries, I ask a friend to take me to the store. It's not great. It's not ideal, but it works.

I do keep moving forward with my license, first practicing with my mom, and then my step-dad.

I get a better job offer in another city. One that's too far to bike to, so I use this as motivation to finally get my license.

I got my license about 2 weeks ago. I bought a beautiful little Prius using my savings, and brought her home the day before Halloween.

Everything is going great!

I drive to a friend's house a week later, and we talk about how great things are going! I've elevated my adult freedoms. I'm starting a new job with fantastic career opportunities. I have a car that I absolutely love.

We talk about how I've worked so. Hard. To get here, and how it was all worth it.

And then.

And then, on my way home, I get T-boned. No one is hurt, but my car...

My lovely Domino's passenger side airbags all go off. Her back passenger door is crumpled in on itself, and idk if they're going to be able to save her.

My insurance company hasn't finished the evaluation, or determined fault yet. They also don't cover rental vehicles.

I start my new job tomorrow morning, and I have no vehicle, and no money to buy a new vehicle. I bought the Prius with the intention of keeping her for the long-haul. I planned to baby her, keep her for 10 years or more.

I had her for one. Week. Exactly.

I am just. So tired. I feel like giving up.

I worked so freaking hard for YEARS to do this, and it's all gone in an instant. In the months leading up to this, I was dreaming about the adventures I'd have in my car. We were going to go to the beach, travel the US and see all the National Parks, collecting a pin/sticker from each one, maybe drive up to Canada, or down to Mexico! Finally make use of that Passport I've had for 5 years! I put together a watercolor palette and bought a sketchbook SPECIFICALLY to use on our travels!

Domino and I were going to do SO MUCH together.

And now she might be gone before we even got the chance.

None of this even feels real. It's almost like I just DREAMED I had a car. But I know I didn't make it up, because I have pictures, and I have her paperwork, and my actual card license came in the mail last night.

Honestly, I'm heartbroken. I'm not sure how to move forward now. Obviously, keep working with the insurance company and stuff, but like.

I keep giving my all, and my all keeps not being good enough.

#personal #personal vent #vent post #marlett speaks #screaming into the abyss

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kashimos-hajime · 1 year

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NO BECAUSE I WAS JUST ABT TO TURN MY PHONE OFF AND HEAD TO BED UNTIL I SAW THAT U UPDATED AND AAA INSTANTLY UNRUINED MY DAY THANK YOU

OKAY OKAY so i love how there was still a moment of soft fluffy comfort despite the unresolved angsty(is that the right word) mess geto and yn have going on rn coz despite the whole sort of but not rly intentionally pushing each other away thing they are doing, they would still go out of their way to be there for each other instead of committing to the bit. am i reading too much into this? probably. is this bare minimum? most likely </3 but geto ‘regurgitates his food out at the thought o commitment’ suguru and yn ‘physically and mentally mortified to form connections’ ln, both certifiably traumatised, could have easily taken the easy way out and dipped and ykw they deserve brownie points for that. also toge is so real for that i just know he gave geto the biggest stink eye the next time he saw him after that text 💀 AND LOOK WHEN I SAW THE UPDATE WAS TITLED ITADORI MY DUMB ASS LITERALLY WENT ‘aw maybe we are gonna see yn and yuji become fast friends and it’ll be rly cute’ BUT THEN I FORGOT THAT SUKUNA IS LITERALLY JUST SLEAZY YUJI AND 🫠 normalize blaming sukuna for everything. also props to maki for pushing aside the absolute disgust that comes with texting fic!gojo for yn’s wellbeing if it were me i would’ve started puking blood the moment i pulled up his contact.

thank you for another incredible update (as usual). i find it admirable that despite the truckload of stuff you had going on that you still made time for an update. and not to overstep but while ur regular updates are greatly appreciated, i think i (and many more) would not mind if you needed to slow down or take a break :) also i’m sorry i didn’t realise how long this gotten but oh well hehe i hope you have nothing but the world’s best naps after this!

every time i see an ask from you i get the happiest lightest feeling one can get from reading anything. you unruined my day as much as i have unruined yours so thank you <3

yes!! who cares about reading too much into it!! because THEY SURE AS HELL AREN’T FR like i think even though they have their own conflicting feelings (that the other doesn't know about or even remembers 😭) that they still prioritize their friendship even though they're not aware of how important it is to them :( they have a very deep sense of care for each other that drives them both a bit intensely especially because of how unused to that feeling they are, too 😭 getou being upset as soon as he saw yns tweet (to the point where he publicized it 🙄) and reaching out, yn letting him in and letting him help her cheer up. toge most definitely was rolling his eyes, but he had to bc maki wasn't there.

HELPPP NOT THE SUKUNA COMMENT!@!#N!LK#N no bc tbh you really CAN BLAME EVERYTHING ON HIM!!! he hasn't even shown up yet and you can blame him i swear :) and yes!! maki would literally walk through fire for yn bc of their friendship throughout high school. they've been through thick and thin together and even though maki comes off a bit harsh and y/n a bit frustrating, they love each other regardless.

thank you for your kind words! you're not overstepping dw :) i try to keep a healthy mindset about updating (i'm pretty fine with setting boundaries over the internet and stepping away when i need to) but i really wanted to give you guys the next update! i think my life should settle down over the next few weeks so they should resume at a semi-normal pace. sleep well!

#h answers #anon #ask: sorry i love you #i slept so much before i updated and now im off to watch some anime before bed #thank u sm for all the kindness uve given me

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domesticated-feral · 2 years

Text

It is 1 am right now for me but i cant stop thinking about scackson (scott/jackson) because look at the amount of rivals to lovers fanfiction you can milk outta them!! astronomical amounts, a cow could never

so yeah i have an exam tomorrow but let me just list my scackson headcanons before i rest my eyes

(these may not be canon compliant because i can and i will)

- jackson has a one-sided rivals to lovers arc going on with scott

- scott brings the soft side of jackson out (as he always does to everyone ^-^)

- their first date would be to a drive-in theater...idk if those exist or are just one of those made up american things to accentuate the American dream...or whatever its called

- scott gets jackson into soap operas

- jackson finally gets to watch the hoosiers

- scott's family adores jackson and his cousins fight for jackson's attention at family gatherings. scott is amused while jackson is mortified

- melissa gives jackson and scott The Talk™ after she finds out they are dating

- they don't start out as official dating tbh

- scott sucks at chem, jackson sucks at bio so they are paired up to tutor each other (which is how they get close)

- most of these are completely against canon, sorry not sorry

- scott kisses jackson first

- a whole lot of their relationship goes unknown to jackson's parents until they are caught in the act

- they are supportive tho and gifts jackson expensive lube and condoms for his birthday making him awfully embarrassed but hey! free expensive lube and condoms now at their disposal

- #jackson whittemores adoptive parents are involved in his life because they care about him alot and they are very happy for him and his boyfriend

- scott gushes about jackson to stiles

- jackson is reluctantly nice to stiles and everyone else

- lots of late night meaningful conversations

- scott is the first person jackson says 'i love you' to after not being able to say it ever since he learned that he was adopted

- jackson will sometimes exhibit lizard behaviour like need for basking in the sun or lounging in the cool shade, casually lying on walls, etc etc. scott wakes up terrified to find jackson just chilling on the ceiling of his room for lizardly purposes.

- it is at this point i learn that i could go all night so yeah im stopping here for now. please dont ask questions about the last hc, i have no idea why either and i would too like to know

#Scackson #Scott McCall #Jackson Whittemore #Teen Wolf #am very into this ship as of lately #feral says things

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blxetsi · 3 years

Note

Hi! Can I please request modern au hcs for Armin?

tysm for requesting !!

modern armin arlert dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!armin arlert x gn!reader

- okay so

- i think in a college setting you and armin hit it off really well

- i think you guys wouldve just accidentally kept bumping into each other, whether it be around campus, at some coffee shop, in the library

- it gets so frequent you dont even know if its a coincidence at this point, yet you cant help but hope that you seem him whenever you go out

- after ALWAYS bumping into each other and apologizing before making small talk, armin makes the first move

- mf just says "are you following me ?" to which you reply "are YOU following me ?"

- that night ends in you two exchanging numbers 🤩

- you find out that hes a humanities major, and wants to be a psychologist some day

- you also find out he has a paid internship at a research facility near the university you attend

- hes super sweet but also super humble, so he tries not to keep the subject on himself for very long, just wanting to know more about you

- as you two get closer he gets more touchy (not in a weird way)

- he starts greeting you with hugs now, and likes to have a light grip on your wrist when hes leading you through crowded hallways of the school

- he introduced you to his bestfriends and roommates, mikasa and eren, and they were really accepting !! (they already could tell armin liked you even if he didnt know himself)

- you start developing feelings for him about two months after you exchanged numbers, and you honestly felt really weird

- because this beautiful boy whos so sweet and kind and intelligent is like,, wayyyy out of your league

- armin thinks the exact same thing

- he thinks youre so cool and fun to be around, you always have the best stories to tell and are so welcoming,, its HARD not to fall for someone like you !!

- finally he gets up the courage to ask if you can come to his apartment

- and there he confesses 😳💥‼️

- you sit there shocked for a couple seconds too long because now hes freaking out like "im so sorry i didnt wanna seem creepy i just wanted to tell you how i felt you can leave or i can walk you home- wait you probably wouldnt want that but-"

- you just kind of grab his shoulders and start shaking him. before you tell him you like him too.

- the apples of his cheeks turn pink before he smiles and gives you such a tight hug !!

- hes immediately planning a date with you for when youre both free

- takes you to the local aquarium 🤩 and kisses you in front of the moon jellies (u know those big tanks with the jellyfish that are like glow in the dark ?? and the whole hallway is pitch black except for the lights from the tank ?? yeah ❤️ he kissed you THERE and it was beautiful)

- has chapped lips 😐 sorry i dont make the rules

- has a habit of picking them when hes working or lost in thought

- doesnt mean you stop kissing him tho

- is the kind of guy that will genuinely get worried if you send an "sos" type message. gets out of his own class just to speedwalk (he isnt gonna break the rules and run in the halls 🙄) and come to your class just to see if youre okay

- looks at you like 😐 when you explain you just need him to get you an iced coffee from that shitty coffee place in the cafeteria

- does it anyway even though hes annoyed 😌✨

- will grumble about paying him back for the five dollars he just spent on you while you kiss him over and over again in thanks

- doesnt let you pay him back though smh 🙄

- loves to give back hugs

- will do it while youre working, or while youre doing the dishes

- if youre shorter than him he'll rest his head on your and just smell your hair

- if youre taller than him hes shoving his face inbetween your shoulder blades

- is such a lightweight drunk its not even funny

- none of his friends are tbh 🙄

- the first time you saw him drunk was when eren dragged you guys out to a party their friend was hosting (literally interrupted your cuddle time in armins bed to THROW OFF THE BLANKETS and say "you guys are coming with me 😁👍" and when you two said no he TURNED ON THE LIGHTS and ruined the vibe 😐 fucking asshole)

- anyways you two had to change back into your clothes at 9pm just to go to a shitty party that was gonna get busted by the cops anyways 😔💔

- you couldnt find him through the sea of people, and u got really worried until armin called you

- it was not armin on the other line 😁👍

- he said his name was reiner ?? and he said he was with armin bc he puked while playing beer pong

- the guy tells you where they are and you go to find them. theyre sitting on this couch in a backroom and theres only like,, five people in total there ??

- armin is SOBBING while reiner is trying to get him to drink water

- "reiner you dont get it,,, theyre so beautiful. i cant compete. i dont even think theyd wanna be with me. and you have to see them talk about their major. theyre so smart you dont understand." "okay buddy lets just finish this water okay ?"

- armin is leaning his shoulder on this GIANT of a man just going on about how much he loves you and how amazing he finds you. until you tap his shoulder. and then he realizes youve been listening this entire time. and then he starts crying because he doesnt want you to find him weird. and then you have to explain to him that you two are dating. where he doesnt believe you still.

- eren ends up giving you the keys to his car and saying "ill just call you when i need a ride back" and reiner CARRIES armin to the car 😭😭😭

- hes a real gentleman 😁👍

- that morning armin remembers EVERYTHING and is MORTIFIED

- calls reiner immediately like "did people see me puke ? oh god am i gonna be talked about ?"

- has very vivid dreams and remembers all of them ?? will literally tell you about a dream he had when he was five and WILL NOT forget a detail. its weird

- his family actually doesnt seem like they like you 😳 not because they dont theyre just very,, quiet people...... except for his grandfather

- doesnt even care who you are to armin, will pull you down on the couch with him to tell you about all his research and findings as an archeologist (before he retired)

- if youre ever feeling sad about anything, whether that be stress, family problems, or body image issues, armins taking you to his place 😁👍

- he'll cuddle you and whisper how much he loves you while you two are watching something on his laptop

- has acne scars on his shoulders. dont make fun of him for it pls

- loves getting back scratches though, the tingles make him feel really calm

- if you have like,, makeup brushes and stuff he likes it when you brush his face with them, no product or anything but the tingles he gets from it 🤤

- over time his parents warm up to you quiet a bit, and when his mom shows you baby photos and from him as a kid youre SHOCKED.

- he had this little bob cut from when he was ten to his teens 🥺🥺🥺🥺

- when you two are walking back home or wherever you cant help but go on about how cute he was and how healthy and pretty his hair looked (not that its not healthy or pretty now) and he just giggles before pulling you into his side and kissing your cheek while saying "okay baby, ill grow it out just for you then"

- also loves the petnames baby, angel, and love

- will gladly let you steal his sweaters. has a really nice knit one that his grandma made him before she died. that ones off limits.

- doesnt like to fight, but when he feels like hes in the right he wont hesitate to yell back when youre yelling at him

- just dont yell at him pls, it makes him sad

- it takes him a while (and by a while i mean like 30 minutes at most) before his texting you asking if you guys can talk about it

- its really easy for you two to make up, and immediately hes hugging you and just asking if you wanna do something with him

- also, cuts his own hair ?? and would cut yours if you asked. mikasa vouches for him "yeah he trims my hair all the time. why ?"

- every year on your anniversary hes taking you to the aquarium. and he always kisses you as softly as he did the very first time, in the dark hallway of the moon jellyfish tank ✨

a/n

THATS ITTT !!! thanks again for requesting !! i hope you all enjoyed. remember asks are open !! u dont have to request headcanons either !!! go crazy friends !!

#attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan #armin arlert #armin attack on titan #armin arlet x reader #armin arlert x reader #armin arlet #eren mikasa armin #eren yeager #mikasa ackerman

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ahtsumu · 4 years

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hc/scenario with akaashi, oikawa, & atsumu slow dancing to the beat of your hearts, in the quiet stillness of the night. ❤

slow dancing hcs with akaashi, oikawa, and atsumu

genre(s): tooth-rotting fluff

warning(s): nope!

a/n: i hope this is what you were picturing in your mind !! thanks for the request :)

[ akaashi ]

it’s almost midnight when you and akaashi finally step out of the local cinema hand-in-hand, the rom-com you just watched still fresh in your minds

it’s been raining all day and the puddles in the road look more like mirrors reflecting the glow of the streetlamps lining the sidewalk

the two of you live in an apartment just 10 minutes away so you decide to enjoy the beauty of the city at night and the cool evening air by walking home

you’re chattering on about how romantic the male lead in the movie was

and although akaashi’s listening and nodding to everything you say, on the inside he’s like… wait but that guy literally slayed a mf dragon for her?? is that the new standard ????!!

akaashi isn’t very loud with affection in public–– he’s always been the kind of boyfriend who keeps things subtle and prefers to simp out in private–– and because he’s aware of that, now he’s wondering if this is your attempt to tell him to be more open with pda

tbh you don’t really mind since he’s so affectionate when you’re alone but at the end of the day you’re still a sucker for grand romantic gestures and nothing can change that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anyway it’s been a good 10 minutes that you’ve gushed about this fictional man now, and he’s had e n o u g h

he’s not mad, just kinda jealous irritated

something in him is like “I CAN BE ROMANTIC TOO !!!!! >>:((” but since he’s mr. cool calm and collected, he starts scheming and he actually comes up with a pretty solid plan

ngl he stole it from another rom-com you made him watch LMAO

akaashi starts humming the song from the end credits of the movie you just watched and lifts his arm up, suddenly twirling you under it

which shuts you right up because you’re STUNNED that he’s doing something so sweet like this

and when he sees your entire face light up by this one tiny gesture, he’s like wait why have i never done this before

so, still humming the same tune under his breath, akaashi closes the distance between you, placing his free hand on your upper back

he leads the dance, stepping forward and sideways then backwards again, staring into your eyes with the utmost adoration

you get so lost in your own little world that neither of you realise when the humming has stopped and the two of you are just dancing around pools of silver underneath the streetlamps at midnight to the sound of a city at rest and the gentle drumming of your hearts

[ oikawa ]

a knock at the door at 2 am was the last thing you’d expected that night, placing right behind a follow-back from guy fieri on twitter and the live-action avatar movie being wiped from humanity’s collective memory

thankfully, it’s not an axe-murderer waiting outside your door. through your security panel screen you see your boyfriend standing in the dimly lit hallway with his suitcase beside him, home one day earlier than the day he originally told you

without hesitation, you fling the door open with the widest smile your face can sustain, briefly forgetting how tired you are

“tooru!!”

“hi,” is all he breathes out before he encases your body in a bone-crushing hug

when his arms finally loosen around you, he explains that he came straight to you from the airport instead of stopping at his own place because he couldn’t stand the thought of being without you for another day

and when you tease him for being clingy (he knows you love it though) he huffs and says, “i spent one whole week without you–– you can deal with one night with me” AS IF THAT’S A BURDEN LMAO HE KNOWS IT ISN’T

after you let him into your apartment he rolls his suitcase off to the side before plopping down on the sofa with a groan

“c’mere, babe,” he murmurs, stretching his arms out in your direction

you try to pull him off the sofa and make him shower so that the two of you can go tf to bed–– you can tell he’s tired by the bags under his eyes

but once he’s upright, he snakes his arms around you and pulls you into his chest, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck

“but i missed you so much :( i don’t wanna go to sleep just yet”

“then what do you have in mind bc it’s 2 am tooru i’m not going to make couples’ tiktoks with you like last time”

but his original train of thought vanishes and all of a sudden he’s Vulnerable Oikawa™ because it’s Sad Boi Hours

“i miss you every time we have to leave to play a game”

“i know”

“and even when we’re in the same country i miss you”

“…”

“i’d miss you a lot less if you moved in with me”

you are s p e e c h l e s s

moving in together is something that you guys have always discussed but no one’s ever said it with so much conviction

obviously you want to say yes IMMEDIATELY but also you wanna make him sweat a bit

so you say, “hmmm i don’t see the appeal” with a cheeky cheeky grin

“for starters,” he says with a chuckle, interlacing one hand with yours and pressing the other against the small of your back, “we’d be able to slow dance all night”

just fyi you melt

time flies right by as you two spin in circles slowly around your living room, the only light in the apartment coming from silvery moonlight pouring through the windows, the last sounds heard throughout the apartment being a gentle “yes”, a relieved chuckle, and then a kiss

[ atsumu ]

“sorry i ruined prom for ya”

you remain silent atop the hood of his car with your out-of-focus gaze on the city below, legs swinging back and forth lightly

“y/n?” atsumu leans forward, resting one arm on the opened car door and the other on the roof. “ya there?”

finally, with an uneven voice, you say, “it wasn’t your fault”

atsumu sighs and, although his ego is like don’t you dare do it don’t–– he reluctantly says, “i shouldn’t have shoved him into the punch fountain”

at that, you look over your shoulder, meeting his gaze for the first time since the two of you were thrown out of the neon-lit, streamer-littered gymnasium in a spectacularly mortifying manner

“it wasn’t your fault,” you say again, but this time you actually mean it because you aren’t sad that your prom experience has been ruined by your best friend shoving your prom date into the punch fountain… you’re sad that you even agreed to go with said prom date in the first place

because then, you think wistfully, fighting the urge to look backwards, maybe–– just maybe–– you could’ve gone with someone else

suddenly you hear atsumu rummaging around in his car and seconds later, the faint sound of a guitar strumming pulses gently through the speakers

as he steps out from the driver’s seat, he cups his hands to his mouth and announces in his best impression of your PE teacher and prom chaperone for the night, “ATTENTION STUDENTS! this is the last slow song of the night so don’t miss yer last chance to dance with that special someone”

and then he’s standing just inches away from you with his hand stretched out between you, brown eyes peering hopefully into yours

“well... ya heard the guy”

and you’re like “what?” special someone?

“stop bein’ a blockhead and do me the honour of lettin’ me have this dance,” atsumu teases with a smile on his face but on the inside he’s like omg... am i rlly being rejected rn

your heart is about to COMBUST but you somehow keep it together and slide your hand into his with a completely lovesick grin

he pulls you off the hood of his car, tenderly cradling your head against his chest in one hand and wrapping the other one around your waist

the two of you stay with your bodies intertwined, gently swaying against the backdrop of the city below with your head tucked into his neck, even after the song fades into nothing, even after the nighttime breeze raises goosebumps on your skin, even after the only sound that can be heard in the clearing of the hill is your two heartbeats syncing into one

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dahliax · 4 years

Text

Sokka hc sfw & nsfw (water bender fem reader)

bc is 4:20 am and I just smoked some of dat medical and feeling very flirty lmao (and our bb Sokka needs more content) (also we gonna pretend suki don’t exsist even tho I love her)

(^me rn tbh)

Sfw

So you meet the gaang like completely by accident

Just chillin bending some water (somewhere in the earth kingdom) and Sokka is the first to see you stopping completely in his tracks amazed by your beauty

Soon you notice and turn around smirking at him

“You know. It’s rude to stare.” You say and snap him out of it

“Yeah Sokka why don’t you marry her while you’re at it” Katara is soooo cheeky when it comes to Sokka liking people. She loves to make him embarrassed

After some introductions and friendly conversation the rest of the gaang knew you’d fit right in and would definitely sweep Sokka straight off his feet (as if you haven’t already let’s be honest)

You offer them a place to stay on their travels and they accept

Katara is super super excited for another girl to talk to so she’s one of the first people to suggest you joining the group

They’re so exhausted by the time you get to your cottage that they pass out immediately

And you’re just like “damn ok”

After a day or two Sokka FINALLY builds up the courage to actually have a conversation with you one on one since the whole staring thing

“Hey... I’m sorry for staring at you before”

“What? Sokka that’s been forgiven for how long”

“Really?! I thought you hated me”

After this he became a lil more comfortable but still very blushy and timid around you because you’re literally his dream girl

Sokka really wanted to tell you how he feels before he left (not wanting to lose another amazing girl) but nobody told him they were planning to ask you to join the group anyways

But they seen this as an opportunity to encourage him to tell you so they didn’t tell him till after he told you

While out shopping at the market he sees this really good looking restaurant and he thinks, “this is my chance!”

“H-hey y/n... would you want to try out that restaurant together?” And you’re ecstatic bc you also have a big crush on him

He’s so so so awkward it’s almost painful dropping silverware and spilling water all over the table. He was a complete mess

“I guess I should just come right out and say it,” he says confusing you

“Ireallyreallylikeyouandidontwanttoleavewithouttellingyouimsorryifyoudontfeelthesameqa”

And all you did was laugh which made him mortified and then you grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss completely catching him off guard

SOKKA IS AN ABSOLUTE CUDDLE BUG

If you’re around he has to be near you/touching you bc he’s protective and he really likes showing you how much he cares

“Baby girl” IS HIS FAV

You help him with his insecurities about bending ITS SO CUTE

Nsfw

I’m a big simp for virgin boys don’t JUDGE ME OK 😭💗

There ain’t much action going on at home with the water tribe so the most experienced Sokka is is in kissing

In the beginning he would shudder everytime you touched him ANYWHERE while making out but once he got used to it you figured it was time to take your relationship further

I have boob guy vibes from Sokka big or small he just loves them. So whenever you had a lower cut shirt on he could barely speak “babe. My eyes are up here” “I know! I’m just distracted” “obviously”

Once he gets more comfortable he’s so grabby all the time he just can’t get enough of you

The first time you have sex he’s a MESS. He has no idea what to do. So you lead him

He’s definitely more on the sub side but if you want him to be more rough he has no problem switching it up

His fav position is when you ride so he can admire you entirely

He cums in like 3 seconds. You’re too much for him

But don’t worry as time goes on I just know in my heart Sokka is a lil kinky boi

King of giving head after some guidance and practice

It’s literally his fav thing to do because he loves being in full control of your pleasure since you like to TEASE TF OUT OF HIM

He was a little scared about you giving him head bc he’s afraid he was small but I’ll tell you right now this boy got a big dick and you can’t change my mind

He made you stop when you gaged bc he thought he hurt you but you just looked up at him and said “sweetheart. You just have a big dick” and he could’ve literally died right there

Jealous Sokka sex definitely hits different. it’s when he’s most dominant and even tho vanilla sex is very awesome seeing Sokka finally take charge and be a little rough takes you to another planet

He could literally cum from the sound of 1 moan coming from your mouth

In conclusion. Sokka is a sex god.

This isn’t my best work but I’m really trying to get practice in so I’m more confident in future posts. I hope you guys liked this one! Send me some requests!! 💗💗

#atla x reader smut #avatar fanfiction #sokka imagine #sokka x reader #sokka smut #avatar imagine #atla x reader #atla sokka #headcanon #sokka headcanon #sokka fanfic

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kandyrezi · 3 years

Text

– red carnations;

⌜anonymous asked: Ok so I know there's been a fair bit of Sin stuff, but I feel the need to ask - how would Sin react to her darling hunting her down to confess to her, despite her being in a relationship? They just couldn't hold in the feelings anymore, despite knowing that it's foolish to expect someone as incredible as her to be into them, etc.⌟

pairing: yandere(?) sin x reader (funamusea)

(a/n: there can never too much naga wife love to go around~ u v u tbh i’m not sure how cute of a scenario you wanted it to be, but i hope this is to your liking!)

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

The earthly scent of the flowers reaches your senses, in that moment it’s almost easy to become lost in a feeble, little fantasy where nothing in life can go astray.

You’re trying to wrap your head around what has possessed you to such notion involving you piecing together what was previously shattered to lost courage in order to get it off your chest. By how many times your heart beats above the norm whenever she’s near, you could almost mean it quite literally.

…she is married for Elux’s sake, how could you ever hope to think there being a chance of her returning your feelings?

What would that make you anyhow, a concubine of some kind to a harmonious marriage?

For the most part you are an observer from the sidelines; she is always busy, so you aren’t sure if there is a correct time you are supposed to approach her. Sin is nearly always in presence of her wife otherwise, so it would be difficult to get her alone. Unless you want to tell her you have feelings for her in front of Reficul or Mors, who would no doubt bury you alive.

You had no problem conversing and spending time as acquaintances before, but something quite clearly has changed if you’re behaving differently, leaving you to wonder if she would like an explanation for it – when she’d attempted to make small-talk at times when other demons were nearby, but you would more often than not, run away to avoid saying something you might come to regret in messy tumble of words. Now you were seriously re-considering and actually wondering whether admitting your deepest, inner thoughts out loud to the most powerful creature in Pentagram World would be an intelligent idea.

You find her near the edge of the precipice surrounded by pearly gates with rare sprouting orchids clinging to the metal poles, looking as the burgundy dusk settles and stars decorate in the sky behind the gate. It reminds you of a painting that would otherwise be dull were it not for the subject at the focus point to make it whole. You know exactly what – rather whom, makes it complete.

The weather is usually awful all-year around, but in this time of early night the stars had finally aligned for you. You had acquired the flowers from Alibe, who almost too politely allowed you to pluck them from his houseplant collection it almost seemed a little suspicious, but you barely cared about that then.

Minutes tick by in your head then – you go to approach her, but your footing fails you and you trip over a rock, falling off the hillside. You tumble downwards, painfully faceplanting against the soil-covered ground.

A familiar, concerned voice rings from afar a few seconds later.

“Oh! Oh dear, are you alright?”

Waiting for the vivid distortion to clear from your vision, you look up to see her leaning down, placing her palms on underneath your own to grasp your fingers carefully helping you back to mildly unstable feet.

“I’m alright, i-it didn’t even hurt…”

Not nearly as much as it hurt your dignity – or whatever scraps were left of it anyway. You wince, feeling a killer headache rapidly spreading through your scalp, no doubt a far cry from a developing bruise.

(stupid rock. stupid, stupid hillside. and most importantly – stupid, clumsy you.)

Before the mortifying ordeal of knowing you’d just embarrassed yourself in such manner can sink in, you quickly pick up the flowers, hastily try to wrap them together again to look decent, then extending your hand out.

Her gaze follows your mini-bouquet, observing it with curiosity now.

“Hm? Who are those fo—” the serpent doesn’t get a word in, before you blurt out a confession.

“I love you. I’m sorry.”

Covered in layers of dust and dirt from head to toe, you present her with spray made of red carnations. The low whistling of wind only continues to quietly breeze by. You mentally grimace at catching a glimpse of her blinking, being otherwise motionless.

Then she’s frowning.

You feel a pit forming in your stomach, clutching at your insides painfully—

“Dear, your nose is bleeding.”

You nearly gape, tongue stuck at the back of your throat. Sin slithers a bit closer until there’s almost no space left in between bodies.

“Allow me to fix that.” she says and wipes away the blood with a handkerchief kept in a pocket embroidered in her olive cape reaching down long as her hair. Folding the cloth together and putting it away, she places her palm against your temple. It fades away quickly as it merged; pain is no longer coursing through the area from where you hit your head.

(you nearly blush at being tended to like this.)

It’s still a morbid silence that becomes too much for you to bear. You were almost on the brink of wishing the Devil would emerge and slam you six– no, sixty feet deeper into the ground as far as the underworld goes for this foolish act… until Sin extends her arms to take the flowers from you, looking like she wants to say something about it, but an interruption cuts through when one of them begins to blossom and tilt upwards, petals extending, a mouth forming and opening, sinking its razor-like daggers into the serpent lady’s index finger, surprising both you and her.

‘Damn you, Alibe—!’ you curse that doctor in your head for ruining any and all zero point one chances you might have had at that point.

“Oh, what playful ones you are.” The serpent remarks to the plants, not looking deterred in the slightest as she hums a soothing tune to get the red crawlers to calm down, sharp teeth disappearing and eventually reverting to their original state of looking like regular pretty red carnations, petals stopping their shaking.

“Meat-eating plants are quite fascinating, aren’t they? Beautiful in appearance and quite curious in essence, but… they can cause a great deal of hurt if one isn’t aware of their actual, deadly nature.” she says – you swear you see something mischievous in the look she’s giving you, but you can’t decipher what it is.

“Y-Yes, they are certainly a source of interest…” you say, every neuron alert for any potential sign of displeasure, “I thought… you’d like them… maybe.”

“Now… would you like to tell me why have you been running from me as of late every time I try to talk to you?” she inquires, allowing the plants in her hands to now rest idly.

It seems there was no escape after all. You fumble with the hem of your shirt, not sure what to suddenly focus on. You suspect she probably knows your answer already by now, but as you wait a few minutes in silence, you realize she expects you to say it out loud.

“I… I was nervous because you’re the most extraordinary, elegant being in this world and I am just… nothing compared to you. Just one, ordinary blade of grass next to a grand tree that can reach even the far above skies and beyond. I wish I could offer more than what I am, but even that turned out to be a catastrophe in making…” you grumble, recalling that earlier mishap.

Your words cause her to go deep into thought for a minute and you’re anticipating her words.

She speaks again then, “How do you expect me to reciprocate your feelings if you have such a low opinion of yourself?”

You blink, confused at her answer, “I… h-how do you mean?”

“Do you not see yourself as worthy of being in my presence?” she asks, still cradling the gift close in her embrace, whilst her knuckles rest underneath her chin – you see the first sign of displeasure, but not from the actions you’d previously anticipated.

“Um, no, I… I want to feel worthy. I’ve been looking… just observing far too long from a distance, I think my own rotting heart would have turned to dust from inside out if I let this fire in me continue on burning, but now I’m not sure if I should have just let it happen,” you sigh, “I’m sorry for being a bother, but I hope you won’t hold any ill will against me for it… I just needed to get this off my chest.”

Before you allow your own inferiority complex to gnaw away your senses, Sin’s response back to you is almost immediate.

“You may have misunderstood me, it wasn’t my intention at all to dismiss your confession.” she says, with the same gentle voice you’ve become so used to. She is even smiling with sincerity now.

“Your heart isn’t rotten in any way. In fact, you’re very cute with many things to admire. I know you always speak from the most inner of your soul, and… you should know I’ve reciprocate your feelings from the very beginning, perhaps with even more so the amount of passion you do, if you would allow me to show you more thoroughly, if my words alone are not convincing you.”

You feel foolish to the point you’re only able to quake slightly, swallowing the lump in your throat to clear your voice, “B-But… what about Refi— I mean, the Devil Queen?” you remember to address her with a respectful title for she is still technically your superior, especially in presence of her lawfully-wedded wife.

“I’m sure she won’t mind me having another beloved of my own. After all, love is meant to be shared, whether that’s between two unified persons or more.”

She gestures for you to place your hands towards her, as she hands you one of the very same red carnations you just gifted her.

“I… y-you knew all this time then…?” you accept the flower, holding it within your grasp, wanting to suddenly never let go of it.

“Darling dove, never shy from what your heart desires with this burning, ardent ache. I was wondering if I would have to wait for another eternity for you to approach me again to tell me about this.” she’s jokingly exaggerating her claim, but the words are not lost on you.

“I’m very perceptive of people’s emotions and it’d be sinful of me to lie and say I haven’t had this… desire to keep you all to myself alongside all my other possessions,” she tells you, offering you her hand to take, you swear her eyes are a deeper shade of red than you’ve seen before, “So, how would you like to accept my invitation to accompany me to my garden?”

You don’t need to think over your answer for too long this time.

- : - : -: - : -

(a/n: this is also partially dedicated to Piralos, i don’t know if this was her request but since as an avid Sin worshipper lover, i hope you like this!! 🍷)

#mogeko #funamusea #yandere x reader #sin (funamusea)#yanderecore #deep-sea prisoner #okegom #dsp #female yandere #the gray garden #yandere #tgg #ficlets

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