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nokingsonlyfooles · 3 months

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OK OK, Finish the feed and plug the thing

Been distracted by current events and guilty for lack of productivity, but you're not gonna look at it if I don't keep bothering you!

You clicked this yet?

YOU WILL! Oh-ho, yes. The water shall inevitably wear away the stone! Or you'll slip up while trying to scroll on your phone. I'll take either! Noooo, don't just close it out! It has found families and cool magic-punk shit and politics.... WAIT! COME BACK! I'M SORRY I MENTIONED THE POLITICS!

Known Readers: 3 (hi!), 1st Goalpost: 10

Known supporters: Still not asking but I'm gonna come back with another six pack next week. I'm too impatient to wait indefinitely for my vision and illustrating ability to stabilize.

And you get a sample, under the cut! Let's see, what am I feeling proud of today...?

[How about something from Meet the Roll-A-Dance, my narrative-form cast intro. You can meet most of the main characters this way! And see how they play Steampunk DDR!]

“All right,” Hyacinth said, stepping onto the dance pad. “I’m not going to be good at it, but I know how to do it, so I’m going first. You all have to play,” she informed them, pointing a finger. “Except maybe Mordecai.”

Mordecai snorted and folded his arms across his chest. “What, because I’m old?”

“Because you don’t breathe very well and I’m afraid it might kill you. But yes, also, you are old.”

“You’re not exactly young, Hyacinth.”

“No, but I have regular meat lungs that work better than yours.”

“And whose fault is that?” he cried.

She tipped up her nose. “Furthermore, I am more than willing to humiliate myself to have a good time — which is not required, but helps.”

There were a few snickers from the group of them, Sanaam and the kids especially.

“Okay!” she said. “Don’t stand on the frame. Stand on the buttons, the left and right buttons. When two arrows come up at once, you have to jump and hit both. You need to hit the arrows when they come up to the line. They follow the music. This looks like a newer machine, so they’ll probably light up and disappear. Songs are here, difficulty is here.” She left it on Normal, her pride would not allow her to dial it back to Easy. She had played these things before, damn it. “I think that’s all, but it’s been a while since I’ve played. If I remember anything else, I’ll say it.”

She selected “Nina, Pretty Ballerina.” A simple tune of five notes played as a metal arm bearing a thick scroll of paper slid into the gaping space at eye-level and spooled from bottom to top. A thin gold wire across the top of the page flickered to light.

Nina, Pretty Ballerina — ABBA was printed at the top of the scroll. The paper began to roll. One of the boxes lit up with a ping. Sing Along! it advised.

“You are forbidden from singing along,” Hyacinth said quickly. She was trying to remember the damn thing after maybe thirty years. She did not require vocal accompaniment, especially a goofy-ass song like “Nina, Pretty Ballerina.”

There were rectangular punches on the scroll, lyrics, and arrows. When the punches reached the top, the band organ cranked up and cheerfully began to play. There were drums, whistles, a xylophone and the organ itself available, as well as various sound effects, such as the boo and a cheer. The arrows were magicked and they glowed. When they reached the gold line, they flashed and vanished.

Oh, my damn dress, Hyacinth thought, as she landed two steps and flubbed a third. It wasn’t as bad as some of the numbers David had put her in, but it was ankle length and it interfered when she picked up her feet. She hitched up the skirt in both hands, then rolled it into her left and held it against one hip.

Boo! the machine admonished her, regardless, blinking the sign.

“You hear it?” she said breathlessly, grinning.

Sanaam was grinning back at her, he nodded. Milo was rocking back and forth with a vague smile; he liked the music. Lucy was dancing in place with a big smile; she liked it too. Maggie and Calliope were watching the scroll, Erik was watching her feet. The General had her arms folded and was examining the ceiling.

Mordecai said, “It’s deliberately annoying.” He winced as she missed another step. “And flat.”

“I told you!” she cried. The Boo! sign was blinking regularly now, warning her against further errors. Aw, come on, she thought. Let me finish! I’ve almost got it!

Boo! The sign lit up solid. The roll spooled rapidly to the top and ejected.

“Crap!”

She got a smattering of applause. Mordecai and the General abstained. Lucy was particularly enthused. “Play it again!” she demanded.

Hyacinth bowed. She shook her head and threw down the skirt of her dress. “I’ve had my turn. Someone else try.”

“I wanna!” Lucy cried, lifting a hand.

“Well, you might be a little short for it, but okay…” Hyacinth read off the songs for her.

“‘Butterfly’!” said Lucy. “I want that one!”

Hyacinth punched it in. “B… 6…”

Lucy had absorbed that you needed to push the buttons and look at the arrows. Everything else had gone over her head. She also did not seem to notice that the machine was chastising her. She smiled the whole time. Calliope also smiled the whole time. Everyone else winced. The machine gave her twenty seconds of missing every single step before it ejected the roll.

“Aw, it’s so fast,” she complained. “Can I go again?”

“Everyone gets one song,” Hyacinth said, helping her down. “To start. You can have another later if you like.”

“Okay…”

Milo had a go next. He wasn’t familiar with most of the songs, but he did like that first one. He selected “Intermezzo No. 1.” It was by the same group. Also, it had a number in it. The scroll slid into place. Sing Along! did not light up for this particular piece.

He stood on the left and right arrows and considered the scroll.

That’s a little stiff. It needs oil.

So, what am I looking at here?

The punches were for the band organ. Vertical axis for timing, horizontal for which note and which instrument. Simple enough. But some of the punches weren’t playing.

Is that supposed to happen? Did I screw up?

“Milo, you’re supposed to hit the arrows,” Hyacinth said.

Milo frowned. This music was unpleasant.

Oh, wait, I see. The punches it plays are contingent upon the arrows. If the arrows are entered incorrectly, then this set of punches engages. Correct entry plays a completely different set.

“Was he not here when I explained about the arrows?” Hyacinth muttered aside.

It’s meant to be unpleasant. The arrows are…

The scroll spooled and ejected.

Excuse me, I was looking at that!

Milo selected “Intermezzo No. 1” again. The scroll slid into place and began to roll.

Okay. I get it now. This is all code. The punches are code for the machine and the arrows are code for me. We’re supposed to compliment each other. It’s playing the music so I have an auditory cue for when to enter my part.

“Mordecai, do you think he’s hypnotized or something?” Hyacinth said.

If I enter my code properly, it will reward me with nice music. Let’s see, that means jump, and that means turn in a circle. Ah! And the arrows with trails on them are sustained. This is easy! I don’t have nearly as much to do as the machine!

The scroll spooled and ejected.

Milo selected “Intermezzo No. 1” again.

“Auntie Hyacinth, he’s had three plays,” Lucy said.

“He’s not playing,” Hyacinth replied.

Milo started to play. For the first little bit, he kept glancing down at his feet, but that threw off his timing so he quit it. The buttons were pretty darn big, anyway. It was supposed to be easy for him. It was a game. He landed his first jump partway on one of the spaces between the buttons and frowned at himself. He was disappointing the machine. He pulled back his shoulders and tried to be a little more machine-like himself.

Up. Down. Left. Right. Eighth note. Quarter note. Oh! The different beats are different colours! This is so simple. It’s telling me everything I need to know.

Except where the buttons were, but if he metered his motions and paid attention, they were no trouble either.

“Holy shit, he’s good at it,” Hyacinth said softly. This wasn’t a thing you were meant to be good at. You were meant to be sort of mediocre at it and just frustrated enough to keep feeding it coins.

The cheer engaged.

Hey! All right! Best possible code version!

What a nice machine. With all the information and the feedback, it was like it was holding your hand the whole time. He nailed the rest of the song, despite the code’s occasional playful attempts to get him tangled in his own feet.

When the roll ejected, it applauded him.

So did his friends.

He smiled.

That was really fun! I like doing code! Why am I tired?

He had just been pushing buttons the whole time. They weren’t even that far apart.

It’s rather fast, Milo.

He subtly shook his head. Ann, I work on an assembly line. Don’t talk to me about fast.

Calliope took his hand to help him down and she wrapped both arms around his waist. “That was really cute,” she told him. She planted a light kiss on his cheek.

He gazed longingly at the machine. Aw, I want to go again.

But, maybe breathe first. Maybe breathe for a while, actually.

Maggie wanted to hear “Butterfly” as it was meant to be played – not in punishment mode. She commandeered the pad next and selected the song. She was good enough to keep it from ejecting immediately, but she still lit up the Boo! sign at regular intervals. It did not help that Milo kept leaning in, pointing at the scroll, and saying NO LOOK NO LOOK, like she didn’t get she was supposed to be doing the steps on the scroll.

“I see it, Milo!” she snapped finally, and that got him to back off. She got through the song, but the machine was not overly impressed with her. It did not applaud. Yeah, well, screw you too. She offered it a sign of her own.

“Magnificent!” the General cried.

“What?” said Maggie. “What do you want me to do? Apologize to it?”

“Apologize to Lucy and Calliope!”

Maggie sighed. She dropped a sarcastic curtsy, with her fingers plucking empty air above her trousers. “I am so sorry Miss Otis and Miss Otis. I will warn you the next time I intend to be rude so that you may avert your sensitive eyes.”

“S’all right,” Calliope said.

“Huh?” Lucy said.

“That thing is a bad influence,” the General muttered.

Grinning and nodding, Hyacinth replied, “It’s meant to be!”

[You can, of course, read the whole thing at the site and meet everyone!]

#tin soldier and soldier on #long post #free fiction #writers on tumblr #indie fiction #writblr #steampunk #dieselpunk #magic #harry potter alternatives #dramedy #anarchist fiction #socialist fiction #new reader drive #ocs #original characters #character development #potential sexymen!#if i seem desperate it's only because i am!

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annesthaeticc · 2 years

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fanfic alert!! wopdeewop 🚨

so i hinted that i'm writing a benedict c. one-shot piece, and some of you were a bit excited, so how about sneak peek????

Few more minutes passed, and the best actor nominations were about to be announced. You could feel him tense up and you felt it too.

"I don't think I can do this," he sighed heavily.

"Yes you can, love. I'm right here." you reassuringly said. His right hand took your left, where your engagement ring shines. You squeezed his hand and smiled.

"I love you. And I'm so proud of you," you said. You watched his eyes become teary and it was enough for you at that moment.

Benedict Cumberbatch. The Imitation Game. The presenter said.

His name spoken so loud, so clear, in such a large place made him shyly smile. And the people were cheering, clapping. But his focus shifted to you; you were clapping and your smile was genuine. He now knows that he is the luckiest man in the world. He felt so big, so elated. Because you, just you, being proud and happy for him and with him at that certain moment, was special enough.

He silently wished he could bottle the moment up. Especially the look on you: eyes wide in pride, smile so warm, and your hand that nestles your promise to him, was applauding him.

You took his hand in anticipation and ran your thumb in circles. The winner was announced and you politely clapped. Though a smile was painted on his pretty face, you could feel his disappointment.

"No matter, you're still my winner. We could have a drink or two or more later, then have drunken sex, how does that sound?" you offered. He gave you a tight-lipped smile and rubbed your back affectionately.

"Darling we can't have drunken sex, you're not allowed to drink,"

"But—"

"Actually I think I need to sober up. We're going to make love all night long and I'm going to put another baby in you, how does that sound?" he whispered in your ear and the fine hairs on your back stood up.

"Win-win situation. I like how you think, Cumberbatch." you said, your voice low.

Soon enough, you found yourselves clapping along the crowd, cheering and congratulating the night’s winners. A new tension has fallen over the two of you, it was like a veil, a bubble that separated you from the rest of the majority. You could feel his hands all over you, ghosting on your skin, and you seem to do the very same. You want him so close to you, with nothing in between and around.

He felt like dancing. He felt his body was alight with new energy. One that doesn’t equate to having an award, or any kind of bloody award. He was going home with you, and that’s all he could ever want and ever need.

“I know you’re tired but would you like to attend the afterparty?” he asked as you stood amongst the crowd that was heading to Vanity Fair’s afterparty.

“Would love to,” you happily sighed.

“You sure? I know those heels are killing you,”

“Come on Cumberbatch, before I change my mind.” you giggled and led him through the throng of people.

Flashing colored lights welcomed you as you stepped into the room. People were piled by the bar, ordering drinks and chatting. The DJ had cranked up some fine tunes and there were also people on the dancefloor. Not giving a damn if their designer dresses are stepped on.

He did what he had promised to you, avoiding alcohol and only drank water to recover himself from the amount of whiskey he had drunk throughout the ceremony. Hand in hand, he waltzed you through the dancefloor, and a giggle escaped your lips when he had dipped you. After a few moves, you sat down and he lifted your heeled feet to his lap, trying to ease the pain.

But then a beat started to thump through the room. A beat you know so well. Quickly, onto your feet, you pulled your bewildered fiance and led him back to the dance floor. You pulled him close and started to lip sync the lyrics. As soon as he recognized the melody, he smiled and held your waist close to him.

“I want your hot loving emotion, endlessly.” you whispered so close to his lips.

“‘Cause you’re a good girl, and you know it.” his voice rumbled and you could feel it. The vibration of the bass, and his dark smooth voice.

Drake has nothing on him. You smirked to yourself.

“Just hold on, we’re going home,” you sang.

“Just hold on, we’re going home.” he sang the last lyric and you finally pulled him down, meeting his lips for a kiss.

“Take me home.” you whispered and held on to him.

this is just the sneak peek!!! follow me for more updates wopdeewop!!!

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gunsli-01 · 1 year

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Alright, let's get this set up in a somewhat digestible format. While also testing the waters. For people looking for more Mikoto info in particular this has some stuff on him within it but mostly gives a clearer idea on my experience with Milgram so far. Along with me being slightly unhinged. Soooo...woohoo...

Here's the set up. The next post will be the beginning of an in depth analysis of the two Celtic spreads found in MeMe. We will not only be analyzing them but delving into visual spin Mikoto put on the classic tarot cards with some insights his changes to them give us on his character.

There are two sets of ten cards. The first post on this will go over the first five cards in the first spread the second will finish off the first and give an overall interpretation of the reading. Then the same will be done with spread two. After we finish that then I’ll be attempting to break down the series of murders shown throughout MeMe.

Lastly, and my favorite part. We’ll finally be going over Mikoto’s character as a whole. Along with me just generally getting to talk about him without putting him beneath a microscope. Which I haven't gotten to do in weeks and still can't cause I'm stuck in tarot hell.

For those who don't read all of this and skip straight to the tarot I at least want to highlight and reiterate one part from here:

The point of Milgram is testing limits at any point these characters can do something that will make even their most devoted fans turn on them and I think the fandom should be open to having their opinions change and develop over the course of this.

So, here's post 1. I will link the beginning of the tarot interpretation here when it's up.

So, when I started writing what has to be the longest character analysis essay, I've ever written... I remember in December when I was like yeah I can crank out a few pages on Mikoto it won't be that difficult I can get this done by new years. I've already gone through the tarot once too what's a second time typed up gonna do? Maybe even before Mu's song.

I was wrong. But back when I was young, hopeful, well rested, and happier. I wrote something of a Preface. Just to explain all of my biases up front and let people form an opinion on if they wanted to take anything I said on this seriously or not. What comes after this part is that Preface.

Okay, so this is going to probably seem insane, but I might as well get it out of the way just to break in the new year putting my best foot forward. Yes, this is my best foot forward. Now Mikoto has a lot of diehard fans and detractors for some reason…How can such a normal guy be so controversial? Really unlucky… Honestly. Because of his popularity I’m a bit nervous to put out anything on him even though he is my favorite. Believe it or not I can get shy when talking about things I genuinely like a lot because I don’t know how it’ll be perceived, and I can get very, very critical when I like something.

It is not a normal like situation. It doesn’t go I like you; you could do anything, and I wouldn’t care. It goes OH, YOU UNLUCKY BASTARD! YOU’VE CAUGHT MY ATTENTION I SHALL NOW EXPOSE YOU TO THE WORLD! IF ANYTHING, BAD HAPPENS TO YOU IT IS LIABLE TO BE BY MY HAND! I well wade through the façade to find the truth I’m seeking knowledge, I’m seeking your identity, I want to dive deeper.

Don’t misunderstand- It’s just natural to want to know everything about the person you like and get all torn up inside because you never can. That’s just love isn’t it~ Ahh it’s an incredibly damning feeling that love, the idea of soulmates all that trite nonsense. Because when people aggrandize others, they usually end up wanting to pull them down to their level. That sort of sadistic thing is just as much a part of love. The adult world is so cruel that way.

As such I’m going to do my very best to tear this man to shreds lovingly, okay?

So, let’s start with some context did I love Mikoto immediately? Was I like innocent he just has to be? He’s just so good looking he can’t fail, lol. Okay, to be honest when I got here, I thought Kazui was so good-looking cause of his broad shoulders that when watching Undercover and seeing the flash throughs with Star I went that’s Kazui I know those shoulders anywhere. Got damn he looks like he gives good hugs those shoulders…

Also, I like sorry cowards my apologies for the disappointment but when I saw Mikoto in MeMe I willfully ignored him. I had a visceral response to his song telling Star I hated it and never wanted to see him or hear it again. While also going he clearly killed three people… in an obviously premeditated way as well. So, yeah guilty. Maybe? I don’t know. I’m just not interested I’ll leave that to the people who are.

I came in around Amane’s first trial… Soooo I very much could’ve voted on Mikoto, but I just did not want to look at him at all. Actually, I still don’t know why that was, but he made me uncomfortable and annoyed. Despite his video involving multiple things I very much love baths, tarot cards, clouds, water, records, baseball bats… Hell even his song was a genre of music I’m partial too. Like jeez in retrospect I really don’t know.

I just did not want to even think about him, so I didn’t. That changed when YouTube recommended me an English cover of his first song, and I was like now hold on… Those Sisters You Know really did a good job on that lyrics wise. Like it just hit different okay. I was listening to that cover every day having first job flashbacks and wondering huh why did I hate this guy again this is a complete mood actually.

After that I fell into an over analyzing loop for several months. Before I had pulled a nothing to see here and once we do that my brain just deletes the information since it’s been deemed irrelevant. Incredibly convenient skill to have. Yet, as it piqued my interest music wise, I was like well hold on…I have to know everything about this specifically now. Something that none of the Milgram characters had managed to achieve at that point.

To an extent I was pretty much like there’s nothing to see here at all when I was dragged into Milgram by Star. She showed me Mahiru’s first trial song like I really just want you to see this one and my immediate response was, “Are you trying to say something about me?!” We’ve been partners for years and this is what you lob at me what are you getting at? To which she had to dryly explain no I just think she’s neat and you love mystery things and putting together stuff so I wanted your opinion on what you think is going on here.

Then I got a rundown of the situation and was like ah okay. Then went through one through six giving all my thoughts on what they did and how I would’ve voted if I was there as she explained the results. I was surprised to hear from Star that none of the things I was saying to her had come up in the fandom as far as she saw.

As Star showed me Milgram my experience was basically

Weakness: Guilty. Committed murder for attention. Next.

Later down the line I asked Star about the reasoning behind Haruka’s trial one Innocent Verdict. It was after we watched Bring It On and she told me about Futa’s verdict. I needed to understand why Haruka was voted Innocent/Forgiven but Futa was not. Weirdly long before Futa asked us that same question in Back Draft. Why did Haruka of all people get a pass when we see him kill directly? That was the first thing that piqued my interest.

However, I was pretty disappointed by the answer Star provided and maybe to some people this will seem like a reduction of the actual reason behind prevailing consensus. Yet, what I gathered from her explanation was that he was voted innocent due to Autism. Particularly, people assuming he had a learning disability the most speculated one being Autism. Now, my response to this information was to go, um…that’s ableist right? Like, just because it’s helpful to him in this circumstance does not mean ableism isn’t present.

That’s just infantilizing and belittling his intelligence. Having a learning disability doesn’t suddenly exempt a person from knowing murder is wrong. It’s the same as using a person’s age as an excuse. Made even funnier that Haruka is treated more like a child than the literal child is. So…it’s not like that interpretation is that far off or difficult to get to. Plus, do people even critically engage with who benefits from these sorts of excuses and when they’re extended?

Because they aren’t applied indiscriminately. A perfect example of this in Japanese media in particular comes from something else Star and I were watching when she recommended Milgram. Higurashi Sotsu and the character Satoko a lot of people in that fandom got angry and found the concept that Satoko would become a villain all because she had a difficult time studying insane. Like she should have just studied harder ignoring everything else that occurred in Gou and Sotsu up until that point.

Even some going as far as creating a completely different reason for her actions. Because having trouble focusing, studying, and being ostracized in a new environment after being taken away from the people and things that brought you comfort weren’t good enough reasons. Ryukushi-07 also has a tendency to write about neurodivergent coded characters like Maria in Umineko and Satoko herself can be considered coded that way through sotsu and gou. The excuse extended to Haruka in trial one was definitely not extended to her by the Higurashi fandom.

So, it’s not surprising that same courtesy was retracted in trial 2. Sorry, to rain on your parade but disabled people of color from any minority group are not extended those same benefits of the doubt and rarely have their impairments or age taken into consideration if they even reach a trial. So, this is when I went oh well people are gonna people glad to see some things still haven’t changed. This is what Milgram’s bias looks like. It’s almost a perfect reflection of the performatively politically correct space we live under today and highlights the pervasive biases that continue to disenfranchise many that go overlooked.

All we’re missing is overt ableism, racism, and sexism disguised as feminism and we’d have everything that’s wrong with performative morality. (Star just informed me one of these things is just Yuno.) So, my interest was piqued around here but mostly from a sociological standpoint.

Yet, I was mostly ticked off. Media is supposed to be a form of escapism for many people and I found a lot of the issues that people usually use media to escape from pulled to the forefront in Milgram through its voting system. I came in and was like this series probably isn’t saying a damn thing special. Reluctantly after telling Star I wouldn’t watch it multiple times because well I was a mad at her and she kept asking. I had every reason to hate this series given what was going on around our relationship at the time she presented it to me and didn’t really think taking something lightly could end up saying a great deal about society as whole.

Umblical: Guilty. It was clear to me from the very first video that she attempted to entrap someone in a relationship through the use of a pregnancy then committed murder when that failed. Possibly multiple times.

Later, Star told me people assumed she got an abortion. Because the woman that was clearly in a sector of sex work knew nothing about contraception. That and she may have had family issues. I said oh so they thought she was stupid. That’s insulting and then people continued to think she was stupid. So, some things never change but my opinion of her did. She’s the only person here with a consistent character and seems to be incredibly considerate but not hesitant to go after the things she wants by any means necessary. I find that endearing and respectable and really wish she’d get a 50/50 since regardless of what she did I respect her want for us not to give our opinion on it.

It’s only polite to shut up and say nothing when no one asked you to speak. Yuno not only never asked us to speak but openly asked us not to. Her character description even states she dislikes being psychoanalyzed. She sort of reminds me of Kotono Kashiwaba from Caligula Effect but I can’t really figure out why yet. I haven’t finished the game at this point and right now we’re only up to Ike-P but I just get that feeling.

Bring It On: Innocent due to lack of information. I haven’t seen a murder. I don’t know what happened here. Having a flop Twitter account and making callouts is not murder or a crime at all. So, innocent. Then Star tells me the actual outcome and the reasoning behind it and this is when I start to get a bit heated.

Basically, went what do you mean guilty on the grounds of his actions allegedly leading to someone taking their own life??? Because they were just involved in someone’s death. It doesn’t say they directly caused them to die which means indirect involvement is on the table. Ha, ha, oh my fucking god that’s rich considering the dude that clearly killed a dog and a child was given a pass. Did that with his whole chest but he’s good. Alright, alright… I literally went back and pointed out all the kills Haruka was directly responsible for in his first mv going but this was passable. At that point don’t even try to justify it just say you don’t like Futa that’s less insulting.

Like I discussed in the part on Weakness I found this way of thinking inherently unfair. The benefit of the doubt and consideration extended to Haruka was completely absent for Futa. A lot of people want to say this is because he didn’t appear sorry. But, what gives others the right to decide when someone is really sorry or not. Futa’s entire voice drama goes into how you can’t tell how someone is feeling or what they’re thinking based on how they behave outwardly alone and that’s all anyone did when it came to him.

Not many people extended that same courtesy or empathy. They didn’t attempt to look deeper because no one cared to and that’s sad. Start didn’t see anyone go hey that’s clearly a kid with anxiety who’s attempting to garner validation through social media possibly due to a lack of external validation in his actual life. Something tackled in the writer’s previous game Caligula Effect Overdose with the character Naruko Morita. Who does the same sort of things Futa does if not worse. Because she literally outs a trans person on social media, takes pictures of people without their knowledge, and looks up someone work application to then go oh they’re not as good looking in real life let’s tell their fans so they no longer like this musician.

Like these are things she does repeatedly throughout the game. She is a terrible person and in the game she’s your teammate. She has a social link and reasons for the way she behaves. She’s obnoxious, annoying, egotistic, inconsiderate, a snoop, has an aversion to criticism, low self-esteem, and is easily dissuaded from doing things she enjoys if it’s not immediately praised or faced with scrutiny.

She goes out to eat popular limited time items at shops just to post food reviews about it after one bite. She doesn’t even post her own opinion on it at times but instead goes by reviews others have left already while giving a little bit of a different perspective but not really. Then if you say no to her being on the team because she basically airs out your entire organization on social media for likes, so everyone now knows who you are, what you look like, your name and all of your teammates information you’re treated like the heartless asshole.

Hm, it’s like she doxed you and it has real life repercussions and makes your life harder. It continues to make the lives of everyone she does this to harder and in instances is retraumatizing for many of them. All I’m saying is if you play this game and end up liking her but still hate Futa then you don’t dislike doxing you just hate men. Point blank. At which point I hope you enjoy Ayana.

After Pain: Guilty, I didn’t and still do not believe she’s sorry. Plus, the person she killed was uninvolved. When Star told me she was voted Innocent. Well, I couldn’t really say I was surprised given certain universal truths but- When she explained it was because people were saying it’s because she’s clearly a lesbian and that person she stabbed told everyone she was which led to her bullying.

I kind of went well isn’t that sort of justifying someone getting murdered or in blunter terms just victim blaming. Even if the victim did do that which I’m doubtful of that does not justify murder. Like people really immediately went we trust Mu she’s a victim now what did this clearly evil girl do to deserve to get stabbed, huh?! I found that kind of odd, I wouldn’t want anyone thinking that about me or anyone I love if they were murdered. Plus, given the circumstances I grew up under it’s very common to see that sort of mindset pushed on specific types of victims of brutal crimes. Just saying; it’s really not interrogated often enough who the whole what did they do to deserve it mentality benefits and hurts.

Ultimately, I found the whole concept kind of cruel. However, I guess as we’ve learned Es is the sort of Guard that abhors a person doing something that may have inadvertently led to someone taking their own life more than very purposefully taking someone else’s life with your own two hands. Taking into consideration the response seen in the English speaking part of the fandom this mindset is showcased twice throughout the first trial with the only noticeable outlier being Kazui.

Throw Down: Guilty he asked to be voted that and I respected it. Also, he was organ harvesting from his patients. Like what? Innocent is this some reverse psychology nonsense well okay at least he already feels bad.

This is how to be in love with you: Innocent due to lack of information. I can’t punish someone for something I do not understand I genuinely don’t know what she did. I assume she poisoned someone since she works as a florist, cooks, and mentioned herbal remedies. However, I just knew too little at the time.

What do you mean they thought she was so clingy her partner committed suicide, so she was voted guilty? I’m sorry so what I’m understanding is stabbing a woman in cold blood is okay but indirectly causing someone to end their life through social error is a irredeemable sin? That last girl stabbed another one purposely and that first guy killed a dog and kid-

Half: Guilty but also- That dudes incredibly good looking and has nice broad shoulders that is certainly an impressive physical build look at him in that uniform- Hears the song oh my god he’s an emotionally unavailable and dishonest coward too just my type! Guilty I know in my heart what he did was fucked up but got damn I’m hoping it’s fucked up at this point- not me literally getting chills at the let’s make it victim and assailant line in Cat like boy howdy don’t say such things oh no. Is this how people feel when Yuno says Come Marco I’ll Polo?

It certainly doesn’t help that Kazui’s demeanor and communication habits remind me a lot of Star and I end up feeling a little bad for him but slightly want to watch him squirm as well. Truly, it’s the emotionally unavailable quiet ones you gotta be careful with. They have such intense emotions but they hold them back to the point they can’t express them and then the right person pushes and boom it’s like a pistol accidentally discharging. People who bottle up their emotions like that for as long as it seems he has well when they blow a gasket it’s like a volcano and I want to be in lava range.

Innocent I- well I’m fine with this you saw that up there you know why I'm fine with it we don't have to talk about it but like why??? Because they believe he’s gay and was in a very loveless and performative marriage while also assuming his actions just led to his partner committing suicide or an accidental death. Wait why is that okay here but with the other two it’s not… It’s cause he’s hot and seemingly pathetic ain’t it? Lol, that dude is not as weak as he presents but have fun with that when it comes up I suppose. Good liar my ass...

Magic: Guilty even asked Star to vote on it. So, I was made aware of how to vote at this time. This was not because I want her to be punished but I didn’t believe anything could be solved through agreeing with her and I honestly don’t think agreeing with her will solve anything now either, but it will maybe stop her from getting jumped. Maybe? Though I’m unsure about that because Kotoko has jumped people who were pardoned before sooo... That and Amane told us not to treat her like a child.

I believe it’s a bit unfair or shortsighted of her to ask us to respect her agency in her own life, that she chose to make these decisions, and yet at the same time ask to not be held accountable for them if we feel her behavior was wrong because she answers to a higher power. Her mindset on her killing and being considered a murderer highlight her immaturity to me. Those aren’t two separate things but childishly and stubbornly she attests that they are. Being an adult is recognizing that regardless of if you had a good reason, or a higher law you abide by other adults don’t need to care about those things when judging you they can just objectively judge the actions you took. It truly is that simple. To me it just seems like she didn’t really know what she was asking for when she said that. Like she equates being an adult with gaining respect but it's more than just that.

Amane’s situation really reminds me of that song by Maaya Sakamoto More than Words, particularly these lines, “Isn’t freedom painful? I’ve become an adult, haven’t I?” “Isn’t freedom painful? I’m now alone, aren’t I?” “Isn’t freedom painful? Endlessly so…” Because a lot about being an adult is being able to stand on your own by the decisions you choose. The respect you get from others is fickle at best and never really equates to understanding or empathy. In a way as we age, we become more and more emotionally isolated when it comes to social communication and consideration. Because the patience and consideration that is frequently extended to children is not given to adults since they’re meant to know better by then and not need that sort of care.

Adults have the freedom to make their own choices and have that agency recognized. However, many times that agency we yearned for so badly is weaponized against us in small and insidious ways. Causing adults to become more emotionally closed off, socially defensive, or calculating. An adult would never ask to have their choices looked at while taking into account that they chose to do those things they’d simply tell the person accusing them to figure out why they did it or take into consideration their circumstances. Not pull a don’t judge me and I won’t judge you. They would know that their main focus should be endearing themselves by any means necessary like Mu attempts to do or lean on their legal rights.

So, I really feel like Amane was her own worse advocate during trial one and it ended up biting her in the butt. Also, another song that I feel properly exemplifies that feeling of emotional isolation one faces with age but isn’t as somber I think is “Love I need” by The Living Tombstone.

MeMe: Abstained due to a vague sense of hatred. I literally told Star to never show this to me again and not to bring him up I don’t have an opinion, I don’t care, I’m glad that’s over was my immediate reaction to MeMe. [Star: She said that she didn’t like the song, him as a character, and it was obvious that he committed several murders. So, there was nothing left to look into.] Afterwards I promptly deleted the information from memory until finding that cover song.

Harrow: Guilty she literally did the same thing Futa did just in a more direct way. She also seemed to jump people who had already been put on trial and had a decision on their actions handed down. Even openly said apologizing meant nothing. I’d rather give a pass to the person who says just say sorry then the one who goes lol it doesn’t matter if you try to make amends now no second chances ever once a bad guy always a bad guy.

I put all this to show that even before I was actively posting Milgram stuff on here. I did have opinions on all this that have only developed over time. As much as I came out swinging in the oh I really like Mikoto camp. I really did not want to see this dudes face when I first saw him. Like I feel as though I’m being a bit of a broken record. I said the same with Haruka. Yet, with Mikoto there was a bit of hatred there. Like a knee-jerk reaction that I couldn’t even pinpoint and didn’t want to interact with. Something, I still don’t really have an explanation for.

Even still before this I was spending months talking to Star over the phone sifting through the music videos reading the conversations and literally burning out all my investigative skills on it. Something I believe she knew I’d do when she brought it to my attention and asked, “What do you think happened here?”

Now here I am trying to churn out an entire essay on the guy. Certain characters can grow on you. However, with Milgram there’s this feeling that such a fondness like that can be broken. The point is testing limits at any point these characters can do something that will make even their most devoted fans turn on them and I think the fandom should be open to have their opinions change and develop over the course of this.

I feel like being shut off, isolated or just stubborn about one’s own opinion is unfair to the social experiment aspect Milgram is trying to pursue. That’s just me personally. I really hope that by the end of this there is interesting data collected. We can vote any way we want at the end of the day. Not everyone has to take into consideration what the characters did or how bad it is objectively.

Yet, for people to trick themselves into believing the vote doesn’t matter, this is all in good fun, and no one will be held accountable for the outcome in any way is negligent and blatant denial. The verdicts have a direct impact on the sort of place Milgram is currently and could become. It's a direct reflection of the will of the fanbase. If we vote a certain way the creators take that into consideration. They seem to not just take the winning verdict into consideration but pay attention to responses from both sides overall. They’re paying attention. So, it’s incredibly short sighted to assume our collective judgement regardless of how you vote or if you chose not to doesn’t reflect on the entire fanbase in some way.

I’m not saying this to be a Debby Downer or go really interrogate why you’re voting this way. I’m saying all this to get one point across if you’re going to vote seeped in bias the least you can do is express what those biases are in your own unique way. That’s what will make this all the more fun for everyone. I don’t care if you choose to vote guilty, innocent, or abstain, but at least vocalize why that is. Especially for people choosing to abstain since that’s more difficult to gauge since it is just not an option and the closest thing to abstaining would be attempting to get a fifty/fifty.

I know not everyone is willing to be that out there with their feelings and that sort of thing isn’t fun for everyone. Though even just discussing it privately with friends, people you trust and feel comfortable around is enough. All I want personally is for people regardless of how or why they vote to look at these characters for what they are and give them the opportunity to surprise you outside of your personal opinions like with actual people. All these characters will probably disappoint someone at a point but I feel like if you keep a healthy sense of realism and treat them in an unidealized way that will help in not causing resentments towards the series or the people who work on it down the line.

Some of these resentments are already present in the fandom and being used to create a reflection of the writer that could be wholly inaccurate. Personally, I don’t find that sort of approach to be fun or fair. However, it very well could be to some. Yet, at times I find it incredibly disheartening to see. My hopes in writing all of this and thoroughly attempting to analyze my fluctuating feelings on Mikoto may tackle why that is in some way. Even if the problem isn’t firmly rooted within the interpretations around his character but extends to the entire cast.

Though it’s like Jackalope said he certainly did cause a bit of trouble.

I hope this has been a good prelude of what’s to come and helped whoever may have read this far better understand my personal perspective on Milgram. This post didn’t focus on Mikoto as heavily as I would have wished but served to properly build an understanding of what one may be getting into when it comes to my analysis of his character.

I hope by displaying my biases and feelings on all the characters that one can decide whether reading what comes after this is for them or not. Regardless of if you continue to read or go back to this post from the ones that precede it, I appreciate you reading my ramblings.

#milgram #kayano mikoto #yes it's in parts i'm sorry

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confessionsofamarriedmama · 2 years

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Wednesday May 18th

J and I took kinda of a break. He had stuff going on and so have I... so we went a while without talking. I ended up breaking the ice after about two weeks by asking if this was kinda 'it'. We figured out that we still want to keep this going though we know it's risky. I am glad it isn't over... I'm not ready for it to end. I know it will have to at some point... but, that's not today. That's not what we're here to read about...

I don't really remember how the conversation that lead us here started other than J saying he wished he could see me on my knees... I said we could try. I mean the car is pretty roomy... might work.

It was pretty last minute, like.. can you be here.. yup I can so let's goooo... We met at the usual spot. He got in my car and we drove under the garage... kinda the same spot as last time. Not totally noticeable but not very conspicuous either.

I moved the passenger seat all the way up, and laid the middle seat, where J sat, back a little.. we're gonna try this!

Sure enough, my legs fit under the passenger seat and I can get totally on my knees for him. The angle was so much better too. He was so hard in my mouth, warm... thick. I could feel my pussy getting wet as I gagged in his dick. He was so turned on, saying "fuck yes, suck that dick" "Damn" and that turns me on so much! He was pulling out my breasts, squeezing them.. hands in my hair, guiding my mouth.. it was so hot! Soon he pulled me toward him as he was opening the box of condoms... he says "turn around, I wanna try something different" I'm thinking he is meaning doggy and I was all for it... but no, he said "now sit back on it". So we're reverse cowgirl now. I'm feeling self conscious, my ass is in his face... but he seems to like it. "Yes, like that.. damn" as I'm grinding into him, cumming so hard. I'm pushing back and down, deep.. cum running down my legs... J squeezing my ass, guiding my hips... squeezing them tight. Fuck man!

Seemed to go on for a good bit, then he had me stop.. we can only handle so much of that before we need to switch it up.

He situated himself and told me to lay back. I then situated myself and the blanket under me.. he started off slow, deep, pushing into me so deep. Jesus, I am already cumming. He makes this face that is just so sexy... almost like clenching his jaw but moaning through it.. my God it's sexy! He is just fucking me so hard, deep, wet, like splashing.. man I needed this. I wrap my legs around him so tight, not letting him pull too far away while he is working so hard in me. One hand holding myself up and the other squeezing his ass.. so nice btw! He can barely stand it anymore, he is sweating, panting, so am I. He sits back and I crank the AC. Then I take him back in my mouth while he squeezes me all over. Licking, sucking, drooling, gagging.. he is ready to cum and I was going to let him in my mouth... he couldn't take it so pulled back some, cum went all over my lips, side of my face and in my eye lol ouch! That stung!

We cleaned up and J went to get dressed and I guess because of being on my knees, his stuff was a little wet.. he said damn, need to being a towel for over here too.. he was smiling, kind of a chuckle. I felt so stupid.... I'm a little self conscious about how wet I get. Sometimes it's a problem, or seems like it to me anyway. I didn't say anything but felt some kind of way about it. I got dressed and drove back over to his car, said our goodbyes and then I hit the road back my way.

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abusivelittlebunny · 2 years

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This is giving me uni prof Tommy vibes catching James in the front row cranking one out under the desk while watching him intensely with a red face. Tommy has seen the boy staring at him biting his lip and blushing and fumbling with his pants under the table but this was just ridiculous. He doesn't want the boy to be humiliated publicly (who knows maybe he gets off on that) so he just gives him a cold glare as he walks up to him subtly and lowly tells him "James, in my office after class. Put that away." And the boy looks just about ready to cum but mumbles "yes" and does as he's told. He looks dazed out of his mind and Tommy wonders if he's on some kind of drugs for the rest of the lecture, with his high body heat and dilated pupils and inexplicable behavior.

Tommy doesn't expect James to still be an inconsolably horny mess as he leads him to his office, noticing how the boy looms over him and sniffs at his hair when Tommy is unlocking his door. For a good measure he locks it back up once they're in; call it intuition. Tommy tries to remain strict, clearing his throat and trying to maintain his composure, but it's hard when the tall young man is acting like a damn dog that is smelling a bitch in heat. As he leans back against his desk he rubs at the bridge of his nose and sighs, "James, could you care to clarify why you're sporting an erection in my class and why you chose to take care of it during?"

James' rock hard dick has a clear outline against his thigh beneath his trousers and Tommy tries his hardest not to look, he really does, but it's kind of impossible with how prominently it stands out while the boy tries to not so subtly rub at it with the heel of his palm as he fidgets.

"I... I really l-like you Mr. Shelby, I'm sorry, I can't help it, it's like an itch, I can't stop it, please forgive me..." James sounds more turned on than remorseful and he's standing way too close, making Tommy crane his neck up and remember their significant height difference. The boy may be younger, but he was much better built than Tommy, with broad shoulders and a strong, athletic body (and a massive cock by the looks of it): he could easily overpower Tommy if needed (and he tried not to think about how hot that would be). He needed to gain back control.

"Sit." Tommy said as if he was talking to a dog, but James responded immediately like a well-trained one, not even taking a step back to take a seat at the guest chair but sinking to his knees right there in front of Tommy, looking up with big sparkling hazel eyes and an eager expression, ready to obey any command.

Tommy licked his lips, reigning in his mind from going to wild places as he placed a foot lightly on the boy's twitching member, his smart leather shoe glistening sinfully as it pressed down slightly and made James moan like a porn star.

"You don't do that again in my class, James. Do you hear me?" He waited until the boy nodded and whined a confirmation before he dragged his foot over the length, a tease of a stroke. "Good boy. Now, if you behave well for the next three lectures, I might give you a treat as you're a very good student, but only if you can keep from touching yourself in my class. I don't care how much you want to. Be a good boy for me, can you do that?"

James nodded erratically and Tommy smirked, petting his head condescendingly, but James leaned into the touch and almost cried when Tommy lifted his foot away.

"Good. Think about what treat you might like until then and stop disrupting my class." He was ready to dismiss the boy but James' big hand found its way around Tommy's delicate ankle.

"Can I fuck you?" James breathed heavily, looking mesmerized.

Tommy hummed, thinking for a moment, his gaze wandering to that beast of a cock, and he fixed his glasses before purring, "We'll see. Go now, don't make me regret this."

James scrambled out as fast as he could with that heavy erection, thanking Tommy with a wild blush and promising to be the best boy, making Tommy rethink his teaching methods.

#hold on i actually want to write this now 🤔#not technically but #ask rambles #i saw the pic in someone else's post but now since op gets fromt row views of your tags y #i deemed it better to let them live #james x tommy

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savnofilter · 3 years

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Like I’m Bakugo (FLF 12)

𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨 𝐱 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤!『𝐅𝐄𝐌』𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ(s): none.

↬ sᴏɴɢ: BAKUGO! by Kamil

↬ ᴡᴄ: .7k words [2 mins]

↬ ʀᴍ: february love fest

↬ ᴀ/ɴ: wow when was the last time that i didnt have warnings??? this was actually pretty fun to write, so sorry if this wasnt what you were thinking cbdjkbd. i so hope that this doesnt come off of as cringy, LOL. this has been sitting in my inbox for awhile, its time i crank down on some old requests. thank you @chxrryp0p

“Like I’m Bakugo… turn they soul to smoke…” Bakugo would watch you mumble around the apartment you two shared. It was absentmindedly most of the time, but he was still confused about what you were singing. Since you began singing that song days ago, he has wanted to join in.

You were mixing the creamer into your coffee as you hummed in English, head bobbing ever so slightly to the beat that played in your head. Not only had he caught you rapping it, but he had also seen it mentioned by his other friends as well. But because of this, he was starting to find himself humming it as well.

"Oi," Katsuki called out to you. If one had a song about them — let alone a whole song being about them — they'd get off their ass to search it up themselves. But since he had you, he chose not to. He glared as he watched you move about, eyes snapping up to meet yours once you finally turned to him.

"Bitch I'm -- what?" You ask, brows furrowed in confusion at his glare.

"What are you singing?" Katsuki asked.

You perked up at his question, lips springing into a smile. "Bakugo!"

"...What?" Katsuki questions once again.

"Bakugo! By Kamil. Music artist from the United States." You explain happily. You took a sip of your hot beverage before moving to sit across from him. "N' people love it."

Tch. He could almost blush. His lips quirked into a smile as the thought of someone making a song about him stroked his ego. "A song about me? Good use of talent." He replied smugly, aggressively mixing his cereal in and trying to hold back the actual excitement that rose in his chest.

"Oh my gosh-" You rolled your eyes, leaning back against his chair and putting your cup down. "Don't you feel silly, even a little stupid for not even knowing?"

"Hello no." Katsuki cocked his head. "I have you. Who gives a shit if someone writes a song."

You squinted at the confidence. It was giving very much when you two were younger and arrogance was his first language. You mischievously leaned in, a grin to match your attitude. You looked him up and down, pulling out your phone and sliding it to him. The song was now playing and it caught his attention.

"You're embarrassed~" You called him out in a sing-songy tone. His cheeks threatened to brighten up with a bright red at your teasing.

"I-I am not! Why the hell would I be embarrassed?! There's nothing to be embarrassed about!" Katsuki quickly defended himself and crossed his arms looking away.

"Yeah, and Japanese is my first language." You teased. Leaning in again, the expression on your face never changes. "I can teach you the song if you really want me to~ I really don't mind, Katsu." You sipped at your cup again, gaze never moving from him.

That was the thing. The song sounded damn catchy. He had only heard snippets of it but he never cared enough to listen. Fuck it. Now, there's no excuse for denying his interest.

Even when you stared at him, he grunted. The many thoughts of teasing you instead of telling you the truth occurred to Bakugo, but he dismissed them all. Not like he could pretend the song wasn’t fire… maybe now he was feeling a lil’ stupid. The blonde side-eyed you as you more than patiently waited for his response. Turning back to you, he leans in, only the counter's width separating you and him.

"Teach me it by Friday and I'll bring you to that restaurant you've been bugging me about."

You softly gasp, eyes widening. "Sushi of Soul?!"

"Yes." Katsuki holds his hand out to you. "We have a deal?" He taunts, leaning in with how much his space allowed him.

You leaned in as well, both of your bodies on the marble surface. You were happy to accept this challenge as it was not the first one you had taken on under this roof.

“It'll be my pleasure, and I'll make you sing it like your life depends on it."

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snowgoldwaylon · 3 years

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All Night Long - Alex Mason X Reader

Hey y'all, finally a Mason x reader from me. Not gonna lie, was really nervous for this one. I really hope you guys enjoy this!! As always, thank you all for all the love and support.

TW: Strong language, lots of fluff!!!

You despised the dating scene, and you didn't want to be a part of it anymore. Not after the last blind date your best friend, Helen Park set you up with. You know she meant good but..... It didn't end well.

That blind date tried to get you to join his religious cult, and move you to a different country. Not to mention, he had no respect or boundaries. This didn't fly with you.

So when you found yourself going on another blind date that Russell Adler set up, you were nervous.

*FLASHBACK*

"Oh Y/N, come on! This is a perfect color for you. He'll love it I swear. Just trust me!" Park said, a whine in her voice as she stood beside you, watching you do your makeup.

You turned quickly and threw a small glance in her direction. You cocked an eyebrow and went back to finishing your eyeshadow.

"Helen, I trust you don't get me wrong. But, I don't think the color white will suit me. You on the other hand looking stunning in white. I need some color, like this black Bon Jovi shirt!" You said with excitement, holding up a cut-off crop top of Bon Jovi.

She sighed and checked her watch. Now she was ready to get a move on!

"Y/N, you have exactly 51 minutes to get finished and meet him in town. I don't want to seem like the type of friend to rush you, but I'm rushing you. And not to mention when Adler comes back in he'll probably have your head." She said, sipping her wine.

You rolled your eyes, took the white outfit from her, and got changed into it. After you did, she looked at you up and down and gasped. She let out a small cheer and clapped.

"Oh my, Y/N you look breathtaking!!! ADLER!!!" She yelled.

He came back in and knocked first. He stepped in and smiled when he saw you.

"You look, great kid. Your date is going to fall through the floor." He said, lighting a cigarette.

You smiled and gave a twirl for them. You fixed up some last-minute makeup and hair and decided on a vintage pair of black and white heels. They complimented the dress.

Park handed you your purse, keys to your car, and some perfume. You sprayed some and you went over to the coat rack and grabbed a small jacket for the evening.

"Wait, hold on," Adler said. He reached into his pockets and handed you $100.

"Here. This is for beating my ass in Poker the other day. I figured you'd want it just in case." Adler said, also getting ready to leave.

"Thank you, Adler. Well, thank you both. I'm excited to see who he is!" You exclaimed.

You grabbed the keys to your 1983 Black Chevy Chevelle, finished with two white racing stripes down the middle of the hood. Adler let out a low whistle when he saw that beauty sitting in your garage.

"Y/N, where have you been hiding this gorgeous thing? Why don't you drive her more often? It's badass!" He exclaimed.

You chuckled and got in.

"Well, I only take her for special occasions. She's precious to me you know?" You started the car, and both Park and Adler cheered you on as you drove out of your driveway, and a way to the coffee bar you went to!

You were 5 minutes early. You parked your car and got out. You walked to the doors and stopped right before getting in. You took a deep breath and reminded yourself how everything was going to be alright.

You began walking again and opened the door. The coffee shop was small, yet immaculate and pristine. It seemed busy at the moment, and you began looking around for booth 10.

That's where you both agreed to meet, booth 10. You still had no idea who this man was. All you hoped for was someone who didn't want to kidnap you. You scanned the place until you saw booth ten.

There was a man already at it. His head was turned from yours, so you could only see his behind. You began walking towards him, your heels clicking on the floor beneath you the whole time.

As you got closer, you noticed how familiar the back of this man looked, especially the hair. But there was no possible way it was who YOU thought it was. That is.....

Until his head turned, and you stopped dead in your tracks. You both locked eyes and his jaw hit the floor.

It was none other than Alex Mason himself. So this is who Adler set you up with. Damn him! You thought. How did he know that you liked Mason??

"Y/N? You're my date?" Alex choked out.

You had to admit, he looked very handsome. He wore a nice dress shirt, black slacks, and wing-tipped shoes, polished to where you could see your reflection.

His hair was slicked back, and he had a clean shave. This man just single-handedly did that, he did.

"Well, Mason, it looks like I am. It's good to see you!" You said, taking a seat.

Mason also took his seat and passed you a menu.

"Get anything you want, it's on me. Also Y/N, can I just say.. " Mason trailed off. You nodded.

"You look so beautiful tonight. I-I mean you always do but tonight you are stunning. Also, is that your Chevelle in the parking lot??" He questioned.

You were blushing so hard at this moment. All you could do was nod your head until you looked him right in the eye.

"Well thank you, Mason, same for you. And yes it is! All original too."

The rest of the date went well after that. Soon, dates became a regular thing!

*END FLASHBACK*

*Timeskip, 6 months later*

Today was a horrible day for you. You had a long day with Adler in a bad mood. And everyone knows that doesn't usually end well. Lucky for you, you got the 'easy job.'

Organizing everything in his office into Alphabetical order, everything. Documents, books, records, hell even receipts of his.

All you wanted was to go home and call Mason. Your's relationship bloomed very well, and now it's 6 months deep! You got to your older car and put the key in the ignition.

You almost cried when you heard it didn't roll over, you just had a crank and click. So, that means the battery is most likely drained. And now everyone went home because you stayed late to finish the work Adler gave you.

You got out with your things and walked to Mason's house a few miles from HQ. Of course, today was the day you wore heels for a press conference. Now your feet were killing you, and you had about an hour walk in. But, you kept going until you heard a car beep behind you.

You turned to look, and see Mason. You went right over to him and slid into his passenger seat. He looked at you confused and worried.

"Honey, what happened? Why are you walking?" He asked sweetly.

You told him everything and he gave you a sympathetic look and hug. You didn't want to let go but he did.

"Well, why don't you come over. We'll find you more comfortable clothes to wear." He said, driving off.

You smiled and enjoyed the ride. You both talked about so many things on the way. You were nervous though.

You and Mason, at his house alone? It felt strange. But, you were ready for a possible couch nap.

He pulled in the driveway and got out. You also stepped out and looked over the small house.

"I rent the place for now until I find what I want," Mason said.

He opened the front door for you, and you stepped in. You walked in and saw a lot of pictures of you both together, or pictures of you.

You slipped your shoes off and sat down. You already felt such relief, you could fall asleep.

"Hey, take a nap if you need. I'll wake you back up, I promise." Mason smiled at you. You covered yourself with a nearby blanket, and out you went.

Eventually, you woke up, Mason asleep beside you. You saw nothing but darkness out the windows, and you scrambled to wake Mason up.

"Hey, it's late. I should probably go." You said, gathering your stuff.

"Wait, Y/N! It's late, why don't you stay here tonight?" Mason asked.

You blushed and nodded at him. He shot you a big smile back, setting your stuff down.

"I'll take the couch, you can sleep in my bed. It's comfortable!" Mason offered. This honestly kind of broke your heart a little.

"Or, how about we share a bed? It's not a big deal Mason. No need for anyone to wake up with a sore back." You said.

Mason laughed and nodded. He led you to his room and went over to his closet. He grabbed you a shirt and some shorts.

"Here, you can sleep in these. The bathroom is the farthest door on the left. I'll take you to fix your car in the morning." He said.

You went and changed into the comfy clothes, and came back to his room. Mason lay on one side of the bed and slipped the covers back for you.

You climbed right in and looked over at him.

"Cuddle me tonight?" You asked with a whimpering tone.

He nodded and pulled you close. Soon, you both drifted off to sleep with ease. What a good first night together.

#black ops cold war #cold war #one shot #alex mason

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artificialqueens · 3 years

Text

Level Up, Chapter Eleven (Branjie) - Holtzmanns

“I don’t think I could come up with anything negative about you.”

Brooke’s eyes are sincere as she says it, and Vanessa’s heart starts to beat just a little bit faster. Vanessa’s a person who’s always on the go, not one to slow down if she doesn’t have to but Brooke has the ability to make her world pause for just a second. Brooke changes Vanessa’s focus from what’s in front of her to solely her, and Vanessa almost wishes she could keep it there forever.

It’s never that hard for Vanessa to come up with words to reply with, especially not towards Brooke, but her brain feels like it has shuddered to a stop, pressing on the brakes because the small smile on Brooke’s face is more important to focus on. She could say something stupid, something funny, maybe return the sentiment but she doesn’t get a chance to decide on what to do before Yvie lets out a scoff.

“Except for your dislike of Chicken Little. That’s a negative if I’ve ever seen one.”

AN: Hi, I'm still alive, I promise. Popping back into this lovely fic nearly eight months later (a new job, a new apartment, a new city, and a new cat later too) and I love it just as much as I did in January. Eight months is good for plot to marinate and develop and I'm excited to get back to writing this fic again. If you're still around for this journey, thank you and know I'm so grateful for it. Please do tell me your thoughts if you read! Thank you writ for betaing ily <3

“So you have that interview with Glamour, I’ll set it up for some time this week, and Teen Vogue wants to do something on their Youtube channel. Who knew that was a thing? I’m working on Adidas’ rep to finagle a sponsorship outta them, and Under Armour on the backburner just in case-”

Vanessa bursts through the doors of the gym while Detox continues talking in her ear, not at all apologetic about the way that she has to interrupt her as she ambles towards Brooke’s office. “Just reached the gym. We’ll have to continue this later, ‘cause training waits for no one, right?”

“I see exactly what you’re doing, but I’m not mad at it. Go work on building those boxing skills that’ll keep lining your pockets for years. Toodles!”

Vanessa lets out a snort when Detox hangs up the phone. “Toodles? Who the hell says that?”

“Detox?” Brooke looks up from her book, an amused smile on her face. “I know that trick.”

“What trick?” Vanessa squints her eyes as she sits down, trying to read the cover of Brooke’s paperback. “Are you reading Chicken Soup for the Soul? ”

Brooke waves a hand. “Doesn’t matter. And the trick of dipping out of Detox’s phone calls. Why else would you get to the gym so early?”

“Oh, come on. I’m early sometimes. Occasionally,” Vanessa grins, and Brooke doesn’t buy it in the least from the way she raises an eyebrow. “Okay, maybe not. I like Detox, I really do, don’t get me wrong. She’s hysterical and good at her job, real good at it, but damn.”

“Detox works hard,” Brooke nods, understanding in her eyes. “It’s a lot to handle sometimes.”

“She cranks up the exposure by a million and targets it in specific places and it works, ‘cause I have a lot of followers and deals now but…”

“But what?”

Brooke leans forward, pushing her book to the side as she looks earnestly at Vanessa. It’s striking, sometimes, how Brooke gives her full attention. How much she cares sometimes.

It’s nice.

“It feels real wild, y’know? Like all I did was become a meme, and now my face is going to be in a Spotify commercial. How does that jump happen?” Vanessa shifts in her chair, letting out a sigh. “It’s only been a few weeks.”

It’s as if Vanessa is riding in a car that’s only getting faster and faster, not quite in control of the steering wheel or knowing when she’s going to be able to stop. Sure, the ride is fun, but it also feels like she’s driving without a license, as if she’s skipped the learner’s permit stage and hit the highway instead.

“She wants to capitalize on it as much as possible. Keep you in the spotlight even after the next big meme rolls around,” Brooke shrugs, before pausing for a second, a look of concern in her eyes. “It’s not too much, is it? I can always talk to Detox with you if you feel like it’s overwhelming-”

“Nah, I’ll survive,” Vanessa shrugs, giving her best reassuring smile to Brooke. “Lush sent me some free shit the other day. I like goodie bags.”

Brooke snorts. “Fair enough. Bath bombs are a reason to keep going.”

“Want some? I got enough for a month's worth of spa days.” Vanessa makes a mental note to bring some of the freebies for Brooke on their next practice. She’s earned half of everything, at least.

“You have any of the sakura ones?” Brooke is tentative with her question, and Vanessa nods enthusiastically.

“You’re getting all of ‘em.”

“Now, hold on a second-”

“It’s six. Don’t we have practice to start?” Vanessa’s up and out of the office before Brooke can protest any further. “I’m gonna go change.”

Practice is nice. Practice feels familiar amongst all the new chaos in Vanessa’s life. It lets her turn her brain off and get away from the people that recognize her out in public, the way her Instagram is now solely for sponsored posts. The way she feels like a caricature of herself, almost, because others have an opinion of who she is based on a ten second video clip.

But practice isn’t like that. In the gym, Brooke is the same as ever, pushing and pushing her until sweat is drenching her back and her mind is spinning and she feels more alive than she ever has. When Brooke throws moves at Vanessa that she has to work in overdrive to block and counter with some of her own, it’s familiar. Even though she’s tired and gasping for breath, it’s what she knows how to do, and in an environment that isn’t unsettling or foreign.

The best part about it? Vanessa can still feel herself learning. Growing. Stepping up to the challenges that Brooke throws at her. Sure, she’s not aching to get back into the competition ring anytime soon, but the approving smiles from Brooke when she gets in a good hit or when she avoids a shot that would previously knock her on the ground gives her a thrill every time.

The end of practice leaves Vanessa with a new sense of longing that’s only been present the last few weeks, since this whole meme mess has started. Leaving the gym is hard, because it means Vanessa has to go outside again, pull her hat down when passerby on the sidewalk give her a second look. She has to unlock her phone and pretend to be busy, but then she’s faced with comments pouring in on every social media account that she opens. She can text one of her friends but it’s hard to continue a conversation, really, after it starts with a rousing Miss Vanjie, no matter how much in jest.

Being outside the gym means that she’s reminded of her new loss of normalcy.

She takes her time switching back into her sweats after she showers, dragging her feet as she leaves the change room with her gym bag slung over her shoulder. When she squints her eyes she can see Brooke at the far end of the gym, teetering on a stool as she repositions one of the crooked banners. Brooke turns around almost as if she can tell Vanessa is there, a good natured smile and an easy wave following immediately.

“See you tomorrow.”

“Need any help?” Vanessa’s stalling a bit by asking, but maybe Brooke really could use a hand with the banners, or at least an extra set of eyes to make sure that they’re nice and straight.

She’s just helpful, that’s all.

Brooke, to her credit, doesn’t call Vanessa out for it as she squints, admiring her handiwork. “I think they’re as aligned as they’re ever going to be. I’m going to get ready to leave for the night, too.”

“Oh,” Vanessa doesn’t mean to sound a little disappointed as Brooke jumps off the stool, fiddling with the jacket that’s slung across her arm. “Already?”

“It’s almost eight thirty,” Brooke points out, padding past Vanessa towards her office door and grabbing her coat off of the hook. “You’re not tired and ready to go home yet?”

“I just…”

Vanessa trails off, looking down at the ground. She’s not sure what to say, really. All that’s waiting for her is her apartment, but she can’t mindlessly scroll Twitter or Instagram before bed without seeing her face again. She needs to reply to her friends’ texts, but the notifications are piling up on top of one another like a mountain that she’s not really sure how she’s going to climb.

Vanessa just wants to avoid it all.

Brooke pauses, and each second that passes makes Vanessa’s heart constrict because maybe she should just try to explain, but she doesn’t know how to and it feels like too much-

“C’mon. My roommate and I are having a late dinner and rewatching Chicken Little. Are you in for a nacho night?”

Brooke’s looking at her expectantly and Vanessa wants to say yes, but what pops out of her mouth is what’s pressing on her even more. “Did you say rewatching Chicken Little?”

“It’s a good movie!” Brooke’s defensiveness makes Vanessa crack a smile despite how restless she feels, how much she’s fidgeting while standing in place. “Come over and you’ll see.”

“Y’know, we haven’t talked about movies before, but this recommendation is making me question what your taste is like,” Vanessa lets out a giggle, when Brooke’s mock offense takes over her face as she puts a hand to her heart.

“The disrespect. You’re not getting nachos with those kinds of statements,” Brooke grabs Vanessa’s gym bag, slinging it over her shoulder as she holds the door open. “Now c’mon.”

Brooke’s apartment is not what Vanessa expects - there are colours and tapestries lining the walls and even one on the ceiling, and she’s pretty sure she sees a bong on top of the refrigerator. It’s pretty, though, with the art splashed across every free surface and the shelves filled with books upon books, piles of even more on the actual floor. Vanessa has to resist the urge to go and sit down on the wicker chair in front of the television that’s suspended from the ceiling.

“Yvie’s the one behind the decor.” Brooke has a knowing smile on her face and Vanessa can feel her cheeks heat up, from how easily Brooke can read her mind. “Moved in a few years ago after she broke up with a long term partner. Never really got around to adding things of my own to the walls.”

Vanessa snickers before she can even get her joke out properly. “What would you add? A Chicken Little poster?”

Brooke, for her part, doesn’t miss a beat. “Nah. A poster of your meme.”

“Wow-”

“I know we were thinking nachos, but picture this. Chicken nuggets while we watch Chicken Little.” A girl with bright green hair pops her head out from behind a door, waving at the two of them.

Vanessa waves back, her eyebrows lifting higher and higher on her forehead when she realizes how tall the girl is as she walks closer. Even Brooke has to look up at her which is a strange sight on its own, considering how much Brooke towers over Vanessa.

Then again, Vanessa’s used to being the short one.

“Vanessa here is doubting the movie’s genius,” Brooke raises an eyebrow, and the girl lets out a fake gasp.

“Um, not a movie. Chicken Little is a film. An artistic masterpiece.”

“Are you two the presidents of the Chicken Little fan club?” Vanessa asks, as Brooke sticks her tongue out at her.

“Yes. And no, you can’t join.”

It’s interesting how Brooke’s work demeanor has dropped now that she’s in her own apartment, her normally squared shoulders a little more relaxed. It reminds Vanessa of when they went roller skating, seeing how much fun Brooke had while pulling her around the rink.

Vanessa wants to see more of it.

Brooke points at her roommate as the girl sticks out a hand. “Ness, this is Yvie. Yvie, Vanessa. I’m coaching her.”

“You’re introducing her as if I haven’t heard you talk about her every single day for the last however many months,” Yvie drawls and Brooke’s sputter is immediate, making Vanessa’s breath hitch a little in her throat.

Brooke talks about her?

Yvie pats Brooke on the back as if she’s choking on her water rather than on some words, sticking her other hand out for Vanessa to shake. “You’re Brooke’s favourite student. Also her only student, technically, but still a favourite nonetheless.”

Brooke’s cheeks are bright pink and Vanessa can’t deny that the sight is adorable, seeing her flustered for once. Still. Brooke probably recaps their training sessions and nothing more.

“As long as it’s mostly positive,” Vanessa shrugs, and the way Brooke emphatically nods makes her feel better than she wants to admit.

“I don’t think I could come up with anything negative about you.”

“Except for your dislike of Chicken Little. That’s a negative if I’ve ever seen one.”

The platter of chicken nuggets that Yvie places on the coffee table with a flourish is impressive, to say the least. There’s a little bowl of ketchup on the side, along with sweet and sour sauce and something that looks to be...ranch?

Whatever it is, Vanessa’s nose wrinkles at the sight. “Which one of you eats ranch with chicken nuggets? Is that legal?”

Yvie’s cackle and Brooke’s flushed cheeks tell Vanessa all she needs to know as she plops down beside Brooke on the couch, nudging her side. “Really?”

“The flavour combination is great!” Brooke mutters, grabbing a chicken nugget and dipping it in the ranch for posterity, holding it up close to Vanessa’s face. “Try it.”

Vanessa scooches herself towards the edge of the couch, away from the chicken nugget and the ranch that’s slowly dripping down like a melting ice cream. “Absolutely not.”

“It’s delicious-”

“It’s cursed-”

“More for me, then,” Brooke tosses the chicken nugget into her mouth, and Vanessa’s not sure, really, how she’s handling the flavours together without puking. “You’re missing out.”

“Very happy to miss out on that, thank you very much. I’ll take the ketchup.”

It turns out that Chicken Little isn’t so bad with Yvie and Brooke peppering in commentary as they watch, and Vanessa finds herself getting swept into the plot, as ridiculous as it is. The glass of cider that Yvie’s brought for each of them is making Vanessa feel a little more relaxed, her shoulders not as stiff anymore as she leans against the back of the couch. It’s fun to watch Brooke’s face, really, and the way she lights up while quoting the movie as it plays.

Vanessa makes a mental note to invite Brooke over to watch more movies. Better movies. Expand her palate. Chicken Little cannot be at the top of Brooke’s movie pyramid, not when there are better choices available, like Pretty Woman. Sure, Vanessa’s not exactly a film connoisseur herself, but still. Anything beats Chicken Little, right?

Maybe it’s just the cider settling in, maybe it’s the full stomach of chicken nuggets, but...it’s nice. Comfortable. Vanessa pulls her feet up behind her on the couch before grabbing a throw pillow to hug on her lap, and really, she could fall asleep right where she’s sitting, even to the dulcet tones of the main chicken character screaming about an alien invasion. Brooke looks over as Vanessa settles herself more into the couch, her expression unreadable but then she reaches over the back of the couch, grabbing the throw blanket behind them.

“Wanna share? It’s kinda cold.”

It’s not cold and Vanessa knows it, she knows that Brooke does too, but Brooke’s face is soft and tentative and adorable and sharing a blanket with her would make the couch situation even more cozy.

Plus, she can cuddle with Brooke, because Brooke is tall and thus is a tall, comfortable cushion to lean against.

Brooke throws the blanket across both of them and Vanessa scoots closer to her so that their laps are covered, the fabric fuzzy and warm. The side of Vanessa’s upper thigh leans against Brooke’s and she’s not sure why she’s so hyper aware of the fact, or why Brooke’s arm across the back of the couch makes her want to snuggle in even closer.

It’s just Brooke, after all. Brooke, who’s seen her when she’s all sweaty and about to collapse on the gym floor. Brooke, who had been there at her worst after the last tournament and still wants to coach her and spend time with her. Brooke, whose secret love for Twilight will never fail to make Vanessa laugh.

If it’s just Brooke, then why is Vanessa’s heart taking flight in her chest when Brooke starts to absentmindedly trace patterns on her palm? She doesn’t know why Brooke’s touch is lighting up a pattern of sparks on her skin either, or why Brooke’s side is so comfortable to lean against. Why Vanessa almost wishes that the movie could go on forever, so that she can stay warm and safe under Brooke’s arm that’s now draped across her shoulders.

Maybe Vanessa doesn’t need answers for all of those questions, not yet, not if finding out the answers would mean disrupting the delicate balance that hangs in the air between them. Brooke shuffles a little bit and when Vanessa’s head ends up against her chest, she can feel the way Brooke’s heart is beating, surely faster than any heart should. It’s a contrast from how seemingly relaxed the rest of Brooke’s body is, how her arms around Vanessa aren’t tense, restricting, but rather grounding, pulling her down.

Leaning back against Brooke is warm, familiar. It’s a feeling of home in a situation so novel, so different from how they usually are, like pulling on a sweater that Vanessa’s not sure how she’s ever lived without. Maybe, just maybe, Vanessa doesn’t ever have to take it off.

Vanessa doesn’t realize that the credits start rolling on the screen until Yvie rolls off of the lilac armchair, reaching for the remote on the coffee table. She lets out a yawn, stretching her arms up high before shutting off the TV. “I, for one, am exhausted. And as fun as this was, it’s my bedtime.”

Brooke snickers, and Vanessa can feel the way her chest reverberates underneath her. “You and I both know you’re about to go Facetime Scarlet.”

“That’s what bedtime means,” Yvie wiggles her eyebrows, and Brooke’s noise of disgust is immediate.

“Horrifying. You two better keep it down this time. My ears still haven’t recovered from overhearing you both last week,” Brooke shudders as Yvie cackles, shutting the door to her bedroom with a click.

Vanessa turns in Brooke’s grip, shooting a questioning look. Surely Yvie can’t be louder than the average person on Facetime. “Overhearing what?”

Brooke makes a face, the haunted look in her eyes almost comedic from the way that she sighs. “Let me put it this way. Yvie and her girlfriend are in a long distance relationship, which is hard on them for a multitude of reasons. One of them being their libidos.”

“Their libidos…” Vanessa trails off, her face falling when she realizes what Brooke means. “Oh no. Not that. Tell me not that.”

“Exactly that. They’re quieter over Facetime than they are when Scarlet visits, at least. That’s a blessing.”

Vanessa shudders. Sure, she’s not exactly quiet in bed either, but the thought of people on the other side of the wall being able to hear everything is horrifying, especially because of the fact that she lives with Alexis. Her sister does not need to know details about her sex life, that’s for sure.

Still, Vanessa wonders how loud Yvie must be. “How do they even make so much noise with phone sex, anyway? Yodel?”

“Mating calls that would fit in perfectly in a National Geographic documentary,” Brooke lets out a snicker, her hand clapping over her mouth when Yvie lets out an ‘I heard that!’ from behind her bedroom door. “Still, glad I’m not about to suffer through overhearing it alone. You’ve saved my evening.”

Vanessa snorts, pulling back from Brooke’s embrace to face her, leaning against the back of the couch. “Glad to be of service.”

Brooke is softness and kindness and contentment all at once, and the easy smile on her face is one that Vanessa feels so lucky to see the longer and longer that she knows her. It’s moments like these that Vanessa wants to hold on to forever - when Brooke’s guard is down, when her posture is relaxed and she’s looking over with eyes that Vanessa could drown in. She wants to package up this version of Brooke that isn’t tethered by reminders of her past, or with upholding a legacy that defines her whether she likes it or not. At times like this, Brooke isn’t a boxer with her father’s last name, or Vanessa’s coach responsible for facilitating her success. She’s just Brooke, a girl whose gaze is so mesmerizing that makes Vanessa’s breathing hitch in her throat without even realizing it.

Brooke holds out a hand and it’s almost second nature for Vanessa to link her fingers with hers, their hands fitting together in a way that doesn’t make sense, not when Vanessa’s hands are so much smaller. But Brooke’s grip is an anchor that keeps her from floating away, one that centers her and lets her focus on the upward curve of Brooke’s lips, the softness of her eyes when she smiles.

Except then Brooke’s brow is furrowing, a hint of concern in her eyes that Vanessa wants to brush away for her. “You okay? You’re quieter than usual.”

Vanessa can feel her face heating up as she stutters, pulling her eyes away from Brooke’s face to focus on the stitching along the couch cushions. “I’m fine. I...nothing.”

She can’t exactly go out and tell Brooke, someone who’s a coach and also a friend for that matter, that she’s just a little bit mesmerized by her face. Not something that’s likely to go over well.

Vanessa’s past relationships have been nothing short of peacocking, making herself known to those she’s had an interest in because they’d inevitably chase her right back. She knows her worth, knows how to go after what she wants, but…

What does she even want, now?

She doesn’t want Brooke, she can’t, not when Brooke is her coach and someone who’s becoming more and more important towards every aspect of her life, someone who she texts when she wakes up in the morning and who she’s messaging as she’s falling asleep.

Brooke’s not the type of person that Vanessa can parade around and go on a few dates with while drinking the cheapest wine on the menu for shits and giggles. She’s not someone that Vanessa can let go of easily, the way she’s had to with previous relationships that didn’t work out. Brooke is different from them.

She’s not disposable, not someone that Vanessa wants to let go of from her life. She isn’t someone that Vanessa can let go of at this point, because the thought of not seeing her amused expressions in the gym or the pride on her face while they’re training is too much to deal with. Vanessa’s only beginning to read through Brooke’s pages to learn more about her, and finding out little details that make her want to melt and pull Brooke just a little closer to her heart.

Brooke is too important.

Sure, Vanessa’s breath hitches in her chest whenever Brooke pulls her closer, and maybe Brooke’s smile is enough to drown out any background noise buzzing around them, but Vanessa also knows that she falls hard. And fast. She’s impulsive, following what her heart tells her to do and most of the time, she can deal with the consequences because she knows she’ll be able to get back up again.

But if this is a miscalculation? If saying something means that they’ll end up in pieces that neither of them will be able to put back together?

It’s too big of a risk. At least, for now.

Vanessa can’t be the one to take the jump off the cliff, not yet.

So she smiles, puts on the most reassuring expression that she can, hoping that it’s enough to soothe the concern that splays itself across Brooke’s features. “Really, I am. Just thinking about all the press shenanigans that Detox has lined up for me tomorrow.”

It’s enough for Brooke’s features to relax just a little bit, the smile on her face almost nostalgic. “I’m glad it’s you now, and not me, on Detox’s receiving end. She’s ruthless in the best way.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

There’s a sinking feeling in Vanessa’s chest by going for the cop out, but...she has no other choice. It’s not the way she normally handles situations like this, a fact made clear by how much she has to push down the butterflies in her stomach, and hide them behind a door so that they don’t escape and ruin stakes that feel too high, too much of a risk.

Still, Vanessa’s a bit of a sucker for punishment, and so when Brooke pulls her closer into a hug, it’s as easy as breathing to snuggle into her and rest her head against her chest, because Brooke’s arms are warm and safe and manage to slow her thinking down just a bit.

Part of Vanessa feels like she can handle it and hold herself back from doing anything stupid, if only to not mess everything up. She can be this close to Brooke and not have her chest split in two and maybe it’s a blessing, and something that she has to hold on to. Except that by leaning against Brooke, she can feel how fast Brooke’s heart is beating, threatening to escape from her chest before she can possibly stop it. It’s a contrast from the gentle way that Brooke’s fingers run through her hair, betraying the calmness on the outside that she’s trying so hard to convey.

Maybe Vanessa’s not the only one holding back. Maybe Brooke also feels it, maybe she’s also teetering on the bridge that Vanessa’s trying her best not to lose her footing on, and the thought gives Vanessa pause for a second, because maybe the risk is one they can manage, something they can work with...

No. No.

They can’t.

Not if it would lead to everything falling to pieces around them, not if it would mean no more training and no more Brooke in general. Because that’s how relationships always seem to end, don’t they?

As much as Vanessa has always wanted the romantic movie ending and a kiss in the rain, it hasn’t happened to her yet, much to her teenage self’s disappointment. There’s too much on the line to see if Brooke will be the one to veer her onto a different path and change the outcome.

So, Vanessa has to be happy with what she’s getting now, this friendship with Brooke and the coaching and accept it for all that it’s worth. Because Brooke’s important, maybe the most important person in Vanessa’s life and she has to take what she gets.

She’s lucky enough to have it in the first place, after all.

#rpdr fanfiction #vanessa vanjie mateo #brooke lynn hytes #branjie #lesbian au #boxing au #boxer au #level up #holtzmanns

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holyguardian · 3 years

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sends in reiivusu's url, they're such a nerrrrrdddd-- ôwô

MEME → Send me a url and I'll answer the following;;

Opinion on;

Character in general: [adjusts glasses] Whomst? I mean... I blinked and I think I missed him, was he the one dancing around in FFVII Remake??? I don't think he got a lot of screen time so I'm not certain why people would want to roleplay someone like that because clearly he's gotten all the development he needs and his character and motivations make complete sense and aren't easily confused because the story doesn't force the player to pick up every piece of information.

How they play them: Skit picked up this beast back in 2016 when he was still in his mullet phase and I think she deserves an award for picking him up at his most questionable time. For real though, I have enjoyed every scrap that she has shared with me about Ravus and the deep-dives of what makes him who he is. She worded it perfectly for me, actually, 'Aerith has a fierce and pretty husband'.

The writer: FERAL. Moving on.

Do I:

RP with them: Um. [quietly nudges my years of roleplaying with Skit across multiple platforms that were Tumblr, Skype, Kik, Line and Discord under a fucking rug]. What?

Want to RP with them: YES. Sobs into my hands nodding. So fucking bad, like you wouldn't believe. This girl has my IRL for real mobile number and everything, she could send me a text message telling me we're roleplaying this way now and I'd 'oh damn looks like we're roleplaying this way now'.

What is my;

Overall Opinion: Cut to me ugly crying and snotting everywhere with my arms opened to Skit for a hug. But Skit is on the ceiling fan like a goblin demanding that the ride is cranked to max. I wouldn't know where to GOD DAMNED START. Alright, I first stepped onto Tumblr testing out Cloud Strife specifically for Crisis Core because I had an interest in those characters. Though I only chose him because I thought he was the popular choice and clearly you choose characters that way. I made connections and decided I wasn't entirely happy and created a Genesis Rhapsodos sideblog because HE was the character I really wanted to roleplay. Then some serious butterfly effect shit led to this 5+ year friendship because a mutual of ours suggested let's all get on Skype together. Through that Skit and I discovered we lived in the same country, in the same state, yet lived so far apart we never would have met in any other way. I'm AWKWARD meeting new people and this was highly stressful for me until Skit was introduced and ever since we have stuck like glue and talked to one another every. single. day. So. Skit is the reason @firxga exists on his own blog. Skit is the reason I trialed Aerith sometime back in 2016, kept her between just us, and wrote an amazing journey between her and Ravus that spanned over Line for so long that my finger breaks a bit trying to read back through the sheer amount of content on my phone, then shifted over to Discord where honestly it isn't much better because the search results don't go all the way back anymore. Then it was all Skit who convinced me to move my girl from our private roleplays onto this blog here. Now look. All of you get this gremlin because of her and if I hadn't made that shitty sideblog way back when and been brave enough to take someone up on their offer to meet an Angeal writer on Skype NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. I would have been long gone from this website. That's strictly talking about writing too, Skit is hands down my best friend in the world and I don't know what I'd do without her. I have traveled overseas and lost contact for long periods and it genuinely stressed me out not being able to reach her because not having access to talking with my bestie feels unnatural. So uh. Skit's alright I guess. <3

#reiivusu #answered #<3 #... <3 <3 <3

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thebibliosphere · 5 years

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Okay but, like, now I need Wedding!Fic for Good Omens, Joy. Joy, why did you do this to me. White and black color themed (of course), the Them arguing over who's the ring bearer, Anathema as a Best Man because someone couldn't think of anyone else (Look, I'm imagining her in a white tux and trying not to drool). They can't figure out who to preform the ceremony, it's not like they have legal identities, and just the DRAMA of it, it'd be so good. Crowley smashes cake into Zira's face. Please.

Hmmm see the way I see it in my head, they don’t actually get married in the legal sense. For one thing neither of them much wants to see the inside of a church again any time soon (and Crowely’s not sure he’d be able to find thick enough shoes, never mind flame proof underwear) but also they don’t have legal names, there’s no official paperwork they can walk into a courtroom with that doesn’t immediately draw attention to all their human personas and even though they’re no longer covert ops like they were before, it’s still not a good idea to create more of a paper trail than is necessary.

But they do have cake, possibly at the Ritz—or somewhere else Aziraphale has always wanted to try the food at.

“There was always that delightful little patisserie in—”

“Paris, yes Angel, unfortunately I think that was about 3 or 4 revolutions ago…”

(they might still wind up spending some time there, call it a honeymoon if you will. Eating crepes for breakfast on a rooftop garden overlooking the city as they reminisces about what it used to be like before the Eiffel Tower invaded the skyline and modern traffic took over the streets below and it became absolutely mental. The Them even get a post card in Uncle Zira’s florid handwriting, though there’s no stamp attached.)

But mostly the biggest thing they stop doing it pretending not to know each other, they let people catch glimpses of them sitting together, in fact they stop hiding from people all together. The words “my husband and I” leave Aziraphale’s mouth first, and Crowley honestly didn’t think it would affect him as much as it does, but the words go right to the place in the cavern of his chest where his soul ought to be and something he’d always feared long since dead flutters faint wings of giddy joy in the darkness.

Husband. Hussssband. He can’t stop rolling the word over on his tongue, drawing out the sibilant hiss and saying it with near malevolent glee at every given opportunity. Gone are the days where he has to say “my associate and I” not when he can say “my hussssssband and I” while the angel smiles indulgently across the table at him, openly smitten.

He’s always been smitten, he’s willing to admit that now. Even if he hadn’t realized it at the time, standing in the Garden.

“I always thought you were all right,” Crowley admits one night, sitting out under the stars sharing swigs from a bottle of wine as the summer night cools into twilight, a pleasant autumn breeze beginning to make itself known in the faint chill of the air. “For an Angel.”

And Aziraphale chuckles, plucking faintly at the grass on the green and letting the strands drift away in the wind. “Damning me with faint praise indeed, my dear.”

“No I mean that,” Crowley insists, passing the bottle back, “that first day in the garden, when you gave them your sword. I thought now there’s an Angel with his heart in the right place.”

“If not his head,” he jokes, and Crowley merely shrugs.

“Sometimes that’s more important.”

“Well, you’d know all about that,” Aziraphale says, and Crowley turns his head at the prim little quirk in his angel’s voice. “I always thought that for being a demon you have a remarkable capacity compassion.”

“Nah,” Crowley dismisses, taking the bottle back and taking a long swig from it before flopping down onto his back in the tall grass. “That’s all just common sense that stuff. You don’t need to feel love to know when something is wrong. You just…” he gestured vaguely, “know.”

“Do you indeed?” he asks lightly, “and what about when it’s right?”

“Oh, you know that too,” Crowley says, turning onto his side to look at the angel, the distant starlight twinkling around his blonde curls like a fractured halo. “Some things you just always know.”

The rings take a while longer to procure, and honestly it’s not something they’d really thought about until one day they’re sitting in St James’s park watching the world go by and two young people (they’re all young, they’re all so young and fragile and so wonderfully human) get engaged, the young lady kneeling down in front of her companion and radiating such love that Aziraphale feels it like a beacon and turns toward it like a hound, gripping Crowley’s arm and compelling him to look as well, thinking at first they must be in danger, only to see the two young women crying and embracing, holding onto each other for all they’re worth, and Aziraphale watching them with all the love he has for humanity welling up in his kind, blue eyes.

“How would you feel about rings?” he asks one night, after the idea has had time to turn over in his head.

“I think they’re expensive worldly things with no more meaning than what we ascribe them,“ Aziraphale answers, steadfastly working through his taxes.

“So no diamonds then,” Crowley nods along from his spot on the couch, his long legs hanging over the side of the armrest as he reclines at a languid sprawl. “Gotcha. What if we made our own? Something…unique.”

“Unique how?” the angel asks, intrigued despite himself.

“I dunno…there’s iron in stars. Silver too…”

“You seem to have a thing for stars,” the angel says, twisting round to look at his demonic husband, and Crowley shrugs, his eyes fixed on some distant horizon only he can see.

“I suppose that’s what happens when you spend all your time looking up.”

And suddenly this just isn’t about something immaterial and shiny, it’s something else entirely and Aziraphale doesn’t quite know if he has the words or even the emotions to describe it but he suddenly knows what kind of ring he wants.

“Wow an ouroboros,“ Pepper exclaims excitedly, peering at the new ring on Uncle Zira’s hand.

“What’s an ouro…oreo…what’s that?” Brian asks, leaning in to get a closer look at the carved head of the snake biting its own tail, the yellow citrine eyes winking in the light. “Looks like a snake to me.”

“That’s what an ouroborosis” Adam replies. “It’s a serpent that eats its own tail to signify the end of the world.”

“And the rebirth of a new one,” Zira adds, claiming his hand back and reaching over the table to claim a piece of lemon cake before it’s all gone. “It’s an omen of sorts. A good one.”

“Sort of,” Crowley waves his hand ambiguously, absently twisting his own ring around on his finger until the engraved design of an eight pointed star was the right side up, a minuscule diamond twinkling at the center. Only Aziraphale knew it was really a shard of starlight captured on the tip of an angel’s feather.

“Well I do wish you had invited us,” Mrs. Young says as she bustles around the kitchen, shooing Dog out from under her feet at she puts a plate of biscuits down on the table. “Honestly, sneaking off and eloping like that.”

“Oh, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing,” Aziraphale answers, giving Crowley a secret little smile over the table, reaching around the cake in between them to take his hand in his own. “Sometimes you just know.”

But…….y’know, if you want me to go full wedding!crack, I can absolutely go Full Wedding!Crack. Just load me up full of maple syrup and crank Queen up to an 11 and we’ll be good to go!

#chromatographic #good omens #good omens fic #long post #wall of text #ineffable husbands #headcanons

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nothingbutfangirlsmut · 4 years

Text

The Trials of Emi

Pairing: A little Minho. A sprinkle of Frypan. Gally x Emi(OC)

Summary: Emi, her twin brother Thomas, and a small group of gladers had been rescued and taken to a safe haven. Or so it seemed. It doesn't take long for Thomas to realize something is wrong. What happens next is a true trial for all of them but Emi's trials began the moment she was ripped away from a dying Gally. Watching someone you love die right before your eyes truly takes a toll.

Finally meeting the right arm could have been the end but betrayal leads to even more chaos and loss. A new mission to rescue those taken from them leads them to a city. The last city. After Emi finally comes to terms with everything that's happened something unfolds that changes everything again. She will have to not only deal with helping her brother take down WCKD and save their friend but also deal with all the new problems in her head and her heart.

Rating: As of right now it’s at most PG13. Some strong language that’s about it but it could change.

(This is the 2nd part/book to my other story "The Maze trials: A Gally Fanfiction". This will cover the events of the scorch trails and the death cure.)

Chapter Sixteen

We followed Gally through the crowded building. Thomas was walking next to him with Newt and Brenda right behind them. Fry and I were the next in line. Fry was still holding my hand to keep me next to him. Jorge pulled up the rear behind us.

"After the maze, I got picked up by a group headed to the city. They realized I was immune, patched me up, and brought me here to Lawrence. His troops have been at war with WCKD ever since they took control of the city. WCKD can't hide behind those walls forever. The day's gonna come and their gonna pay for what they've done." Gally explained as we walked.

We stopped at the end of the hall we were in. Gally turned to face us.

"Listen, uh, he doesn't get a lot of visitors. So, let me do the talking alright? Try not to stare." Gally said then turned to walk again.

We followed behind him to the end of this hall then down a set of stairs into what looked like some kind of living area. Two men were standing at the end of the room by some homemade garden.

"Gally, glad to see you made it back. Jasper told me about what happened." One of the men said.

He seemed to be playing with a flower. He was hooked to some kind of wire that was attached to a metal pole on wheels.

"It was a slaughter. There's nothing we could do against those guns." Gally told the man.

"No, but they can only poke the hornet's nest so long before they get stung. Who are these people? Why are they here?" The man asked without looking at any of us.

"We need to get into WCKD. Gally said you can get us threw the walls." Thomas stepped forward to stand next to Gally.

"Gally should know better than make promises he can't keep. Besides, that wall is only half your problem. Getting inside WCKD is impossible." The man said.

"There might be a way now. It doesn't work without Thomas." Gally said.

"Is that so?" The man asked turning towards us.

His face was still hidden from the light streaming through the windows behind him. He walked forward toward Thomas. The light hit his face. I had to bite my lip to keep from gasping. He was a crank. At least he looked like one. He stopped right in front of Thomas. He leaned forward putting his face only an inch from Thomas.

"Do you know what I am Thomas?" He leaned back.

"I am a businessman which means I don't take unnecessary risks. Why should I trust you?" He asked narrowing his eyes at Thomas.

"Cause I can help you. You see, if you can get me through those walls I can get you what you need." Thomas told him.

"And what is it that you think I need?" He asked slowly.

Thomas looked at the IV like set up the man had next to him.

"Time. Every last drop." Thomas told him.

The man chuckled then glanced at his IV.

"Is that what I need?" He asked.

"WCKD has something we both want." Thomas said simply.

"I'll tell you what. Two can go for now the rest stay here with me. Just a little insurance to make sure you find your way back. Do we have a deal?" The man extended his hand to Thomas.

Thomas looked at it for a second then shook it.

"Gally, show them the way." The man said with a hint of a smile.

We followed Gally into another open room. In the middle was an old metal cover on the ground.

"Who's going?" Gally asked Thomas.

"Newt and I will go. Fry, you keep an eye on Emi for me." Thomas ordered.

Gally looked up to me raising an eyebrow.

"Tommy you damn well know I don't need a baby sitter." I said harshly.

Thomas stepped over to me. He grabbed each side of my face making sure I only looked at him.

"I know you can protect yourself but until I know for sure that this situation is trustworthy I'd rather you have someone else looking out for you. I don't think your mind is exactly clear right now." He said softly.

I pulled his hands away from me as I scoffed.

"Of course my head isn't clear! I woke up this morning knowing that man was dead!" I pointed at Gally but kept my eyes on my brother.

"Emi" Gally said softly.

"Just go Thomas. I'm not gonna have a damn break down." I said harshly then turned away from him.

Thomas sighed but left me alone. I turned back as I heard the metal cover being moved. Gally shoved it to the side. Fry, Thomas, and Newt leaned over to look down the hole. Gally put a ladder inside it then moved to start climbing down.

"Gally, take care of these two. I'm pretty sure that Emi will truly kill you if anything happens to either of them." Fry chuckled.

"Yea" Gally nodded as he looked Fry over for a moment then started down the ladder.

I watched both Thomas and Newt climb down then I sighed as I ran my hands down my face. Fry, Brenda, and Jorge were all standing around me the next second.

"Are you okay?" Fry asked softly.

I looked at him. Is he serious?

"No Fry, I am far from okay. My brother is being a jackass and oh yea, my dead boyfriend is actually alive!" I shouted in frustration.

Fry stepped back from me looking hurt.

"You wanna talk about it?" Brenda asked cautiously.

I chuckled dryly.

"I think I've done enough talking. I want to punch something." I growled then quickly left the room.

I walked back into the room the crank businessman was in. He stopped what he was doing to look at me.

"You look tense my dear." He said.

"You don't say," I said sarcastically.

The man chuckled.

"What could be so bothersome?" He asked tilting his head to the side.

"No offense but if I don't want to talk to my friends about it I certainly don't want to talk to you about it." I snapped.

The man chuckled again.

"You remind me of Gally when he first came here. So untrusting of everyone." The man shook his head.

My chest tightened at his words.

"I'm nothing like him." I said weakly.

"Oh? Could Gally be the reason for your anger?" The man asked as he slowly walked closer to me.

I glared at him which made him laugh.

"Your name wouldn't be Emi would it?" He asked with a smile.

His smile grew as he saw the look of shock on my face.

"It is" he smiled as he stepped even closer to me.

"How did you know that?" I asked him.

He chuckled again.

"You're the girl who stole Gally's heart. He told me all about you Emi. About your life together in the maze. About you being torn from his arms as he laid there dying. What a tragic love story." He chuckled.

"He told you about me?" I asked softly feeling all the anger drain out of me.

"Oh yes, did you know Gally could draw?" He asked suddenly.

I looked at him in confusion from the sudden change of topic. I shook my head.

"Follow me," he said moving his finger towards himself.

I did as he said. He walked into the next room that had a desk in the corner. A large table was toward the middle of the room. He turned to the desk. I watched as he opened the top drawer then pulled out a folder.

"He hides them here for safekeeping." He said handing me the folder.

I took it then laid it on the desk. I opened it to find the most amazing landscape drawing I'd ever seen. It was the glade. It looked so real and beautiful. It was just like I remembered it when I had first gotten there. I put that drawing to the side to look at the next one. My breath caught in my throat. It was me. A perfect flawless drawing of me laughing. Every detail was spot on and perfect. The way my lips curled and my nose scrunched up. My eyes were closed in the midst of laughter. It was beautiful.

The next picture was also of me. This one I was only smiling. He had made it look as though the wind was blowing my hair. The drawing of me was looking straight at me with sparkling brown eyes. How did I not know he could do this?

"He told me he drew your face the most so he'd never forget it." The man next to me said softly.

I put the drawings back in the folder then closed it quickly. I hugged them tight to my chest as I turned to look at the man.

"Thank you" I sniffled.

He nodded then walked past me out of the room. He never forgot me. I quickly walked back into the room the man had gone back to.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked him once I stood in the middle of the room.

"Go ahead," he said as he looked down at his garden.

"Did Gally ever tell you how he feels about me?" I asked as I tightened my hold on the folder.

The man chuckled then turned to look at me.

"Only once. He said that no other woman would ever compare to you. You may have had a troubled ending but if he ever had the chance to see you again he'd make that moment count." The man smiled at me.

"Thank you" I whispered.

I stood there silently for a moment unsure of what to do.

“You look like you could use some time to think.” The man said softly.

I nodded.

“Behind me, these stairs will lead you to the roof. Take you a little breather.” He said pointing behind him.

I did as he said. I clutched the folder against my chest as I started to climb the stairs.

—

#nothingbutfangirlsmut #fanfiction #gally #gally imagine #gally smut #gally x reader #the maze runner #the maze trials #tmr gally #original character #the trials of emi

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ally-writes-many-things · 4 years

Text

Secret Voight (Jay Halstead) S2 Part 6

Summary: The team finally knows that Y/N is Voight's daughter. One secret is out but theres still one secret that's not out. Y/N and Jay's relationship. Will that stay a secret or not? I mean Voight always finds out

Words: 2858

Requested: yes

Prompts:

Warning or A/N: I have 3 more parts and I'm done.

You and Jay finally had a day off and you guys were at Jay's. You guys were supposed to be watching a movie that Jay rented, but you guys were to concentrate on making fun of each other to pay attention to it. You both were on the sofa, your legs over his. "Says the guy who is obviously attempting to impress me all the time,"

Jay gives you the side eyed. "When?"

"Every time we have to chase down a suspect, you go and do extreme efforts,"

"Sorry to break it to you baby girl, I've done that before you even arrived here,"

"Oh, I know, but it's gotten worse since I've joined. You do realize putting yourself in harm's way doesn't do you any justice and won't get you laid you know, right?"

He looked at you and mouths, oh and then pushed you off his legs, which makes you fall on the floor. You giggle and sat up thinking about a way to get him back. You smiled to yourself. You got up off the ground and straddled Jay's lap. His eyes were full of lust. You bit your lip, straining to hold back your lust for him. He moved his hand to touch your face, but you grabbed both of his hands and held them down. You moved down to kiss his lips and then slowly yoy moved down to his jaw and then you lightly graze my lips against his neck and he let out a small moan as you bit down on his neck. I forgot the reason, you was doing as you let my desire to get the best of him. Jay broke through my grip as he was much stronger than me. He quickly took my shirt off and started doing what you was doing to him but more aggressive.

Your phone started to ring, but you didn't care as you took Jay's shirt off. The voice message notification went off as Jay got your shirt off.

As you started to unbutton Jay's pants, his phone started to ring. You stopped doing what you did, looked at him knowing who was calling. You got off Jay's lap and let him grab his phone. He showed you the caller I.D and saw that it was Voight. He got his breath under control before he answered the phone while he answer the phone, you grabbed your phone and listened to the voicemail. You had a case that needed your help and Voight said the same thing to Jay. You put your shirt on and went to the bathroom and noticed that a couple of spots on your neck were red and started to bruise. "Shit,"

You quickly opened a drawer, saying a quick thanks for your forgetful ass, leaving some of your makeup here. You quickly applied it to your neck as Jay came in the bathroom. "Think you can do that for me too,"

You turned and saw that his neck was doing the same as yours.

----

You walked into the casino with Jay and Voight eyed you two for a second before addressing the team. "Trade Casino,"

Voight started walking towards the back and you looked at Jay and with a wink went. "Feeling lucky?"

Jay's lips twitched up for a few second before he forced himself to hide it. You walked into the back and see multiple D.O.As. Antonio was already in there and he sees you. "Over here. They killed the damn errand boy too,"

Your heart shattered when you saw the little boy. You guys saw walked over to where the security cameras were at it and watch them. Voight didn't take his eyes off the camera. "Surgical,"

Dawson saw the moment the little boy came in. "They were startled by the boy."

Jay saw the little details. "Weapons. Uniforms. Military, for sure. These guys are pros,"

Voight looked at Lane, "I wanna copy of this in the Intelligence office before we get back,"

---

We've been in intelligence for about an hour digging up anything your hands on. You put up a few different pictures on the board at the same Jay did. "All right, this is an illegal triad gambling den. It's one of the dozen that Vice think they operate in the area. Problem is they tend to shut down and pop up somewhere else quickly,"

"Who's their competition?"

Jay pointed at a picture. "Cermak Crew,"

Antonio walked closer to the board, but leaned against your desk. "They got a lockdown on the illegal lotto in the neighborhood,"

Jay pointed towards Antiono but then moved his arms. "They take the nickels and dimes, and the triads take the bigger cash,"

Voight looked between you, Jay and Antonio. "This Cermark crew looking for a bigger piece?

"They could be,"

Lane walked up the stairs and into where we all were. "Alright. I went back seven days and downloaded all in-progress, and service calls in close proximity to the Chinatown quad. WE got three calls on suspicious vehicles. I ran the plates. Legit, Legit, but the third came back ghost. I put that plate into our lookout database and just got a text back with its location. 236 West First. Right back in Chinatown,"

Jay walked back over to his desk and moved some paper around. "That's another trait gambling den. It looked like a karaoke bar from the outside, but they're playing pai Gow once you go in,"

"Alright, let's go,"

Jay offered to go into the den alone. The longer he was in there, the longer you worried, but you knew Jay could handle himself. About maybe ten minutes come comes out talking about how there are cops in there and now you are back in intelligence. Voight walked up to Jay and threw a file on his desk. "They're cops? This the guy you saw?"

Jay picked up the file and looked through it. "Yeah, he had his gun in the traid's mouth,"

You all looked at the file. "You know him?"

Voight looked at you and nodded. "That's Jimmy Shi. We were partners when I first came up. Me and Jjimmy worked the gang unit with Alivin. Ivory tower recognized he'd be better served working undercover in Chinatown,"

Al stood up from his seat and walked over to where you guys were standing. "Yeah, perfect place for him,"

Voight reached for the file back and then addressed the team. "He's got his own vice squad now all Chinese cops."

Jay stood up from his desk and shrugged. "All I can tell you is he was dressed like the guys in the video, and he was looking awfully cranked,"

You walked over to your desk, leaned on it. "So why don't we put a tail on him, see what's what?"

Voight didn't even entertain that idea. "Causee it ain't him,"

You eyed him. "You sure on that?"

"Yes, he's a cop,"

"You're the boss,"

Voight shot down any mention of Shi being dirty and that he'll talk to him. The team had no other choice but to agree mainly because you all trusted Voight. You and the rest of the team were waiting at sis' place. You and your father in the same car. Voight wanted to talk to you which you thought it was about Justin. "You know this whole trusting someone cause he's a cop is gonna burn you someday,"

Voight just looked at you for a second before talking. "Well, I'll cross that bridge if needed,"

Voight turned and looked over towards where Jay and Ruzek were at in Jay's truck. "Are you sure there isn't anything between you and Jay?"

You rolled your eyes and looked at him. This protective dad is getting old. "Dad, I''ve told you, nothing is going on there and even if it was, it's none of your concern. I'm old enough to make my own decision and if I want to date someone, I will,"

"It is, if it'll affect the job,"

You were getting annoyed with this whole 'dating your partner will just cause problems' shit. You were done with that mindset. You can date someone and still be a badass and still do what it right. "It wouldn't. I know how to separate personal things from work things. Now, drop it,"

Voight was about to say something, but dropped it and looked out the car. "Shy,"

He tries to get out, but you held him back and watched him for a few second before opening your mouth. "We are already here, why don't just trail him and if it leads to nothing, then you can talk to him,"

Voight looked at you and thought about what you were saying and he finally agreed. "Fall back. We are gonna put a tail on Jimmy,"

We ended up following ship to a building and Antonio called in to Voight and told them that the rest of the vice team came in after we got there. We saw his team walking up to meet Shi and putting on masks. "We got 'em. Let them make an entry, "

It was about a few minutes after the call from Antonio when they finally make an entry. "Everyone move in,"

You grabbed your gun and your bullet proof vest and walked up to where Jay was still getting ready. You give me the 'be careful' look and he gives you one back. Voight fastening his vest and looked at all of us. "Antonio, you, Olinsky, and Atwater take the front. Me, Halstead, and Y/N will take the back,"

We all nodded. I was going to take the lead, but Voight made me go last.

Yeah, I'm the one who can't separate personal from work.

You went to the front, and you have seen the others walk in and you went and busted into the main room of this place. "Chicago P.D,"

You walked pointed a gun at another suspect as the team did the same.

Voight pointed the gun at Shi. "Put down the gun,"

Shi wasn't listening. Put it down,"

After a few minutes of the suspect an intense staring contest and not listening he finally put down the gun and got on his knees. After he got on his knees, the rest of his team did too. While bringing them out of the buliding, Voight ripped of the mask and exposed Shi. "What the hell are you doing here, Voight?"

Voight didn't even looked at him. "We got you for this robbery and four others,"

"Robberies? We're here apart of a six-month operation to take down the leadership of the traid,"

"Yeah? Then why are you all skulled up, Jimmy?"

"I've been wokring this Chinatown detail for 11 years. They know my face. We were going to shake down the employees of that place to get the names on the traid. Now, at least put us in the cars, would you, please?"

You were now in the back of the precinct after taking Jimmy out of the car and Jay went up to Intelligence. "What are you now Voight, Interal Affairs?"

Voight looked at Shi. "We caught a robbery homicide case, and Intelliegnce prursed it. The gang in the video look a hell of a lot like you,"

"I'm not dirty!"

"Jimmy-"

Voight was going to say something but Jimmy. "We were partners. Partners! And did I ever look sidesides at you? At Alvin? Not Once not when they came asking about Brownin. Not ever,"

Jay comes back downstairs and into the back room. "There's been another robbery. They hit the pool hall Jimmy and Rick here stopped at eariler,"

You were at the pool hall and every single person that was alive when you were in not even an hour before, were shot and dead. You and Dawson walked back to the hall after talking to witnesses. "Four masked suspects with rifles,"

"Witnesses said that they could be gone and out without bloodshed but I guess thats not the style,"

Voight looked back at Shi. "We saw you and Rick come in by yourselves,"

"Yeah. We got a C.I inside here. He gave us the C.B.A address where you arrrested us He's the one that gots a new coin slot in his head,"

"When you came out, you radioed your crew?"

"That's right,"

You talked before he could. "They're on your radio,"

-------

You were back in the lobby in Intelligence talking about the details about the case with Shi. Voight looked at the board that had all the details on it and then looked back towards the team. "So we got a four men crew impersonating Jimmy's vice unit, freelancers, probably ex milltary, listening in on their radio calls and hitting vulnerable casinos as soon as they know Jimmy's left,"

Dawson walked up next to Voight and looked at the team as well. "That's right so we should use that against them. Jimmy, why don't we have you and your team bait a fake count house with Olinsky and me acting as bankers? You guys radio amongst each other you got 200,000from some new den, and they're in the process of banding it. Once we're inside, we put out a fradulent 10-1 office-needs-assistance call, and you guys radio in, aboriting your surveilance to respond to the call and then we wait,"

Jimmy was silent until now. "Yeah, with a sticky net,"

"We tie this crew to the other robberies, we put 'em away forever,"

While Antonio went to the court house to get a court order, you were in the back room of the precinct with Jay restocking everything and making sure everything that you need is in the veichle. For the time being it was just you and Jay doing it. "You know what we started this morning isn't over,"

You smiled. "Obiviously. I mean I started it and I intend to finish it,"

Jay winked at you and was about to kiss you when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. You two quickly parted and you saw that it was Jimmy. "You look just like your mom,"

Just hearing him compare you to your mom, pissed you off. You might looked like her not that where the simarillties end. "Too bad, I never got to know that,"

You picked up a box and put it in the veichle and shut the door. You turned and saw he was looking at you funny. "Know what?"

"You didn't know?"

Jimmy shook his head at you. "No?"

"She died a few months after she had me because she was too much of a drug addict who was always looking for the next fix instead of taking care of her kid,"

You didn't say anything else. You just walked back upstairs leaving a confused Shi in the back room.

------

You were now outside the fake count house with Voight, Rick, Burgess and Atwater while Jay, Antonio, Ruzek, and Al were inside the house. You didn't know what was being said as you didn't have a radio that had Rick and Jimmy had. After a few minutes of not knowing anything. Voight calls radios Al and you heard it. "Okay, Olinksy, call it in,"

You heard the radio click on and Al's voice come through. "Offier calling for help, multiple offenders on scene. 10-1,"

About ten minutes you saw a maroon SUV coming, you quickly got on the radio. "Here they come, A crown vic and a maroon SUV,"

Voight was the next one to come over the radio. "Remember, we got to let them breach if we want to pin this one them,"

"Roger that,"

They got out the car and up to the door and before we could get a heads up to the team, they threw a flashbang inside the house. You and your team quickly jumped out of the car and ran over to the house. You drew your gun and started shooting as they started shooting at you. You dodge behind a park car and saw that there was a suspect running. You quckly grabbed your radio. "Suspect is on foot. I'm in pursuit,"

You quickly dodge between cars until you were out of the line of fire and then went full sprint. You had saw him turn into an alley, you quickly turned and saw him trying to climb up a high fence. You run up to him and pulled his ass off the fence and onto the ground and quickly put your gun on him. You heard the radio turn on and it was Jay. "Y/N? Location,"

You removed one hand off the gun to talk answer Jay. "Half way down the street in an alleyway,"

A few moments later, Jay appeared and walked up to you two and put handcuffs on the suspect. "Now whose the one playing superhero?"

You put your gun away and laughed.

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You knocked on Jay's door about an hour after you left work today. Jay opened the door and instantly grabbed you and pulled you into the house egar to finish what you started that morning.

#chicago pd #jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x you #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x imagine #secret voight

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