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#He's a tumblr sexyman alright
nightthinker-08 · 4 months
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*Taps mic* Yall gotta promise me to be normal about this or Im never drawin em like this again alright? Okay. Anyway hope yall enjoy this twink Pomni
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carlyraejepsans · 1 year
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in light of the coming sans vs cecil finale, i have to say that there is no bad outcome to this now. you did it. you mad sons of bitches, you did it. we could vote this like a true sexyman showdown or we could vote this for a gag, it doesn't matter anymore. but most importantly, the question that this poll raises is...
WHERE is the undertale/wtnv crossover episode where cecil announces monsterkind's return to the surface right outside of town. because "thousands of weird creatures came out of the nearby people-eating mountain after millennia of imprisonment and are currently settling into town via wacky hijinks" is a VERY night vale thing to happen
(UPDATE: you should check the full post cause i swear to god if y'all mention the goddamn mountains again)
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Top ten Yakuza characters who could become Tumblr Sexymen
top ten yakuza characters who could be tumblr sexymen
majima.
.
majima.
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softichill · 2 years
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I don't think I've actually seen a single person talk abt the tragedy factor of tumblr sexymen
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liselke · 2 years
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whats the book called 👀
its literally Jiri Brdečka's Lemonade Joe (1946) help me
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meanbossart · 3 months
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I appreciate how you write Astarion so, SO much. I feel like way too many fic writers infantilize him to a point where I honestly start wondering if I'm the one who misinterpreted him so badly.
I'd love to know more about what you think of his character and his arc. Personally I saw him and immediately went "oh god this guy is gonna be the irritating tumblr sexyman of the year🙄" and it took me until Araj basically to warm up to him. What were your initial thoughts and did they change much while playing the game?
OH thank you so much!!! That's a shame if it's the case, and a little surprising to me, to be honest! While he's definitely written be an aloof jerk a lot of the time, I always found him to be surprisingly mature and introspective whenever he's not dishing out witty remarks. He comes off to me as the kind of person who learned to benefit from seeming dumber than he actually is, overall.
HAHA I had a VERY similar experience, not just towards Astarion but all the characters, really (I really disliked Shadowheart at the beginning, too). I had only seen pictures of him and pretty much expected a vapid character that was being carried to stardom because of a talented VA - and because people go nuts for anne rice style vampires lol.
While I was definitely enjoying his voice lines from the start (Again kudos to Neil) I definitely wasn't expecting much else. He piqued my interest after so devastatingly turning my character down at the tiefling party without me even having inquired, and that's when I, the gamer, was like "well, alright, I GOTTA fuck this guy now" (this is also where DU drow's personality began to come out as you can probably guess)
Obviously, if you have two neurons to rub together you can gather pretty quickly that he's not trying to woo you because you're so interesting and wonderful, so I started getting curious! With that dynamic being so different from what you usually expect of romances in these types of games, plus the charming way in which he is written, I started being won over.
I think what really did it was how gradually his attitude changed when responding to new, mostly trivial dialogue options and doing his greetings as you earned his trust, and ESPECIALLY with how he responds to your tav when you express any kind of fear or insecurity during his romance - which was with a lot of sincerity and confidence in his resolve to support you, and in you as a person, a complete 180 from his usual front - Which, again, makes me all the more surprised to hear that he's often painted with such an immature brush.
And obviously he has a DEEPLY ugly side to him (if you've read ANE, hopefully it's clear that I know this, and that I like to explore it just as much as anything else lmao) but it's very interesting to me how it seem to always come in the form of outbursts, rather than a constant evil-streak, usually followed by a glimpse of self-awareness. It feels very much in line with someone who's actually making a great deal of effort to manage their RAMPANT emotions and going through a lot of internal conflict in the process.
GAH. Yeah if you can't tell by this friggin' thesis I just wrote, I love the way they wrote this character a lot and I was definitely proven PROFOUNDLY wrong in my first impression of him - which, if that's not irony at it's finest I don't know what is.
And as an aside! I also very much appreciate that he's a "queer" coded character who's effeminate (in the Old Homo kind of way, but I digress) and flamboyant, but taken Dead Fucking Seriously. With as much progress as we've made in LGBT rep in media, I still often feel like gay men will only get that kind of treatment for as long as they "Aren't That Gay" (I know Astarion doesn't have a set sexuality - But lets not mince words: stereotypes exist, and he fits into most of them) and as a thin-wristed gay guy who's a little too found of linen shirts, I can honestly say that experiencing a character like that helped me with my own confidence.
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enderspawn · 1 year
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honestly in regards w the sexyman poll i was determined to vote based on Actual Sexyman Standing and not any outside bias, thus when i started I was totally prepped to #scarsweep the whole way if need be, but DURING the polling the community reaction has Created joe into a sexyman persona that’s STRONG ENOUGH I genuinely feel alright voting them in the finale.
like I don’t think Joe started this bracket a tumblr sexyman but i think he’s definitely ending one— regardless of if he’s the “ultimate” sexyman or not
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jellieland · 1 year
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Ok so listen to me. LISTEN to me.
Wilbur Soot. Alright. He's a guy, sure. Perhaps even One of the Guys of All Time. A pathetic little meow meow, if you will.
He blew up a country. He has some sort of weird, love-hate relationship with one of the events in MCC. He likes to play god. He even wore a trench coat and got a white streak in his hair.
But I need you to listen to me when I say this man has NOTHING on Joe Hills when it comes to being a tumblr sexyman.
He called the infinite void of space a mirror that really captured his essence. He built a model of the Evergiven in a canel that actually blocked commerce on the server. He is the man who conquered death.
He had the RANGE.
When half the server was campaigning to be in charge, rather than also running for mayor, he created a problem (dogs everywhere), invented a role that would solve that problem (dog catcher), ran for that role (much to the confusion of almost everyone else), and won. And then had to actually deal with the hundreds of dogs he'd created. Wilbur Soot, DEMONSTRABLY, could never.
If you need any more convincing, I would like you to consider this.
Wilbur Soot and Ozymandias. That's a thing, right? A beautiful legacy fallen to ruin.
Well, you might not have seen it, but inspired by that is a Joe Hills version. And what kingdom is the muse of this one? Some great, terrible empire? Some long forgotten labor of love?
Well. In a sense, I suppose.
This is inspired by a glitch that he found that caused a truly unbelievable amount of tropical fish to non-stop shoot out of a bubble column and then flop around until they died.
It's so stupid. He and Cleo both made hour long "beats/fish noises to relax/study to" videos on it.
And is the most dramatic and serious art inspired by the most absurd and ridiculous things not the very ESSENCE of a tumblr sexyman?
Vote Joe Hills. He didn't make ominous statements in a swimming pool and bribe people for votes on tumblr to NOT win this.
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showtoonzfan · 7 months
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I saw your tweet about how you wished Mammon “looked the way Viv was describing him” would you at all mind elaborating on how she described him? I’ve been looking and just haven’t found where she talked about it. /gen
It was info from her patreon call so that’s probably why you can’t find it, she had said that he looks “nothing like we think he does” calling him “ugly” and messy and/or gross if I’m correct. The main thing was that she stated to be worried about what fans would think of this guy, so I was like “Ooo alright I’ll bite, I guess he won’t be your standard basic tumblr sexyman”- only for his reveal to be incredibly underwhelming and disappointing. Like what part about him is gross or ugly —-please 😭
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mushroomnoodles · 6 months
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(Apparently I contacted the wrong person doing a Simon non-Mpreg thing who has lovely art, I have no clue how there's simultaniously three of you, but pretty much this was the ask) H-how was Simon alright after the explosion from Morrigan's birth? It looked massive, and how the devil did Morrigan come out safely?
we are many. we are legion. the tumblr sexyman is in our talons. tw for sfw and nonfetish mpreg as well as a mention of bleeding after birth (non-threatening)
well, first of all, the explosion was more of a pulse of energy! morrigan was very weak after being forced into stasis for three months and drew energy from the forest around them to recuperate enough to be born. think of it like taking a deep breath and exhaling; when you exhale, you give back some of the oxygen you inhaled, but only a small amount. that "oxygen" in this cause is the corrupted energy that led to the area surrounding them being reformed as meat trees. here's a funky diagram.. thingy from a guy who doesn't know what he's doing!
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also, i'm not sure if you're asking like.. where morri got out from, but another anon DID, so i have two solutions that i don't really have a preference on.
you can just accept whichever: morrigan mutated simon's body to provide a more traditional exit... or simon is trans. both are good. me, personally, idc either way.
simon had a decent amount of bleeding (especially since morrigan was a big baby) but thanks to his rapid healing he recovered pretty quickly!
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gartenofbanny · 7 months
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New Hazbin leaks just dropped. It's clips from the show, assumedly. 
https://www.tumblr.com/chaifootsteps/729144368135585792
Alastor is alright..Ed is better tho, but Lucifer's voice is just..
Whatever happened to the demons in Hell being threatening?? Lucifer sounds like Chip Skylark from Fairly Odd Parents and he somehow got startled by Alastor.
Not to mention Lucifer is pretty small. He doesn't look intimidating at all. If anything, he looks like the Tumblr Sexyman version of O'Hare from The Lorax.
I'm not intimidated by him at all, and of course, he's singing. Can't have a Vivziepop product without a damn song.
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starhaloeklypse · 4 days
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Alright , The Tumblr Sexyman has arrived. Continuing our series of Undertale characters as humans, we of course have Sans. He is … *so* blue, lmao./pos Had a lot of fun with his hair, here, same with Papyrus. Hope y’all like this silly little man, be looking forward to more human designs in the future. 💕🧡
If you like my artwork and would like to support me and my Undertale comic, feel free to check out my Kofi and I’ll gladly make art in return for any donation requests, of course don’t feel pressured to support if you can’t and I hope you carry on having a good day regardless! 💕🧡
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Oh I wouldn’t mind some attention alright 😏😏😏
I’m telling Elias he’s tumblr’s new sexyman and he’s gonna get you.
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official-crab-posts · 5 months
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hello and welcome to official crab posts, a blog where i present you with only the crabbiest of posts! you can call me crab or bug.
feel free to tag me in posts you think are worthy of becoming official crab posts, certified by me, a random person on the internet.
for pronouns, basically anything goes. i especially like they/them, it/its, and ze/zir, but he/him or she/her are also alright :]
get your very own crab drawing to help palestine!
zionists and antisemites are not welcome here.
please let me know if you want something specific tagged.
i’m pretty busy so i may not post too often but i will try to keep enough crab posts in the queue that you get one a day.
hall of fame (in chronological order):
origin post
double the crabs
the great crab war
my official tumblr sexyman humansona
now. as i'm sure you know, there are a lot of things that evolve to look like crabs. there are many things we call crabs which are not true crabs. you may be wondering what i, official crab posts, will count as a crab and whether i will be including only true crabs. so.
for the purposes of this blog, if it looks like a crab, walks like a crab, talks like a crab, or has a common name that ends in the word crab, it counts as a crab.
i simply do not have the time or energy to identify every crab i see and double check that they are a true crab. however, this is a CRAB blog. i will not post other crustaceans, although you can definitely show them to me if you think they're cool.
to be extra clear:
fiddler crabs (true crabs) ✅CRAB
hermit crabs (false crabs) ✅CRAB
lobsters ❌NOT A CRAB
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shygirl4991 · 4 months
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Tumblr Sexyman Tornament
Summary: The crew receive  a letter from SMG3 to join a tournament that can change the boys into men, the great tumblr sexyman tournament. The crew must go through multiple challenges to win tumblrs votes. Who will be victorious in this grand tournament? 
A gift for @alianarepasa
Tags: humor,silly, adventure, tumblr sexyman,
Everyone at the castle was running around excited, a mail toad arrived giving everyone letters to some event. SMG4 opens the letter and scoffs  “Tumblr sexyman? This is 2024 who even cares about this stuff!” Bob rolls his eyes hearing SMG4 “THAT’S WHAT SOMEONE WHO ISN'T SEXY SAY!” 
Four put the letter away and was ready to toss it till he heard Boopkins speak up “Oh but SMG4 Don't you know the host for the event is last year's winner!” hearing this SMG4 looks at the host name and goes pale “What...SMG3 WON SEXYMAN!” jealousy started to build up at the thought the internet found SMG3 of all people sexy. He snaps his fingers and turns to his crew “What are waiting for we have a competition to get to!” Everyone cheered as they ran through the portal. SMG4 eyes go wide seeing so many familiar faces in the crowd, then his eyes settle on the host himself.  Ignoring his friends calling out to him he stomps up to the host “So you manage to win tumblr sexyman huh? Must have been because true sexyness wasnt around!” he smirks at Three making the man roll his eyes. The man turned to face four “Oh i didn't expect tumblr’s pathetic man to be showing up!” 
The tension rises as the others watch the pair bicker on the stage, Boopkins frowns “Why can't we just get along and have fun with this?” SMG3 and four get close their bodies almost pressed against each other as they smirk “Just you wait and see im taking your title, no one can beat my level of sexy,” SMG3 chuckles leaning forward at this rate any wrong step and the pair would end up kissing  “Then show me how sexy you can be, cause a loser like you don't know how to rizz anyone up.” Mario, seeing the tension between them steps forward, everyone gave him a confused look “HEY YOU TWO SHOULD KISS!!” 
Both mens faces go red at that moment realizing how gay they must have looked as they step away from each other, then in sync yell “SHUT IT YOU ASS!”  SMG3 takes a deep breath “Alright everyone! Let the games begin and SMG4 get off my stage!” he shoves Four off the stage making the man glare at him. SMG3 takes out a whiteboard and starts drawing on it, everyone watches excited for their first challenge. He points to the board and smiles “Okay everyone now that we have all invited accounted for let's begin! Your first challenge will be confidence, to be sexy you must be confident in all you do!
Everyone was taken by Ugandan knuckles to a personalized booth, each contestant had different prompts that will help them show their confidantes. SMG4 walked into the booth ready to show his stuff, looking around he noticed a computer with his youtube channel pulled up. He gets closer to the computer “My channel?” he hears a chuckle as the lights turn off, SMG4 jumps in fear “Uh hello? What's the challenge?” with a blink the lights turn back on. He looks down to notice he was now wearing a dress, then a camera comes out of the wall with a note “Well four, I'm sure your fans are excited for your new video!” 
Hearing this, four panics “What i'm not making a video in a dress!” Another note appears catching his attention giving him a warning if he doesn't he will be kicked out. He sighs looking at the camera “Hey everyone it's me…Princess SMG4…” he could feel himself cringing, he needed something to spark a fire. Remembering that his rival did these challenges with no issue he smiles at the camera placing his hands on his hips “And i'm about to show you some royal class memes!” After passing the challenge he was ready to get out of the dress “No no SMG4, real sexyman will finish the whole thing in a dress!” Hearing the smug tone in SMG3's voice  angered four as he stepped out of the booth. To his surprise half of the people that started are gone, he walks up to the crew that gives him different looks “Don't ask.”
Mario gives him a thumbs up “You make pretty bride!” he glares at Mario for his comment. Meggy giggles and pats his back “Hey it's not bad you have to wear a dress, i was in a battle with no splatgun!” Everyone talks about their first challenge, they all sounded intense so why was he making a youtube video in a dress. A bell rings catching the crews attention “The votes are coming in hot guys time for challenge two!  The internet is a sucker for bad boys, so your next challenge is to show how bad you all can be!” 
Everyone nods getting ready, SMG4 glares at Three “How am i supposed to do that in a dress?!”  Three laughs at the man “Not my problem! Alright viewers at home get ready to vote!” SMG4 walks up to the stage confusing three, suddenly four jumps three and they start fighting, knocking over the camera and ruining the set. Three gets up rubbing his head to notice he was now wearing the white dress they put on four “OI! GIVE ME BACK MY CLOTHES!” SMG4 running off in threes outfit sticks his tongue out as he attempts to catch up with the others. He was already falling behind as he watched the others rob banks and pirate movies, he looked around thinking how he can be a bad boy.  An idea comes to mind as he sneaks up to Mario, he just robbed a restaurant of all its spaghetti. He was laughing and not paying attention to the bag, SMG4 grabs the bag and starts running “IM SORRY!” 
Mario turns looking at his best friend in shock before getting angry and starts charging after the meme guardian. Four started screaming as he was being chased, he did his best to avoid the fat Italian as the votes started coming in. Three fixes his dress annoyed that it was dirty and smiles at the camera  “Times almost up everyone you have five more minutes to commit your crime!”  SMG4 slides in a small gap knowing that Mario wouldn't fit, he lets out a sigh of relief until he starts hearing singing. He starts to shake as he turns looking through the hole. That's when he saw Mario’s arm stretch towards arm. Panicked, he grabs a chair and starts to smack Mario’s arm away till the timer rings letting everyone know the challenge is done.
SMG4 fixes threes hat to make sure it doesn’t fall off his head, he drops the bag of food which Mario jumped the moment he saw it. SMG3 walks up to the final contestants “DUDE WHAT IS WITH THAT GAY AS DRESS?” SMG3 glares at him “Shut it bob, and I know lots of people love seeing someone as sexy as me rock a dress!”  Three glares at his partner before pointing the letter in his hands “Everyone has placed their votes, we know the winner!”
SMG4 eyes go wide surprised “what two challenges and that's it?!” Three scoffs at the comment “Sexyman isnt about skill its about being sexy to the viewers, we can have all the challenges wont change the mind of fans you of all people should know that idiot.” Four sighs looking down, SMG3 would know better than anyone about how fans can be given the creepy fan mail the man gets. The drum rolls and as three opens the letter “In fifth place Mario…which is surprising he ranked so high when he mostly ate paste,” he sighs as he changes the card to see the next person. 
“Fourth place is Toad! Many people watching loved how you hacked into SMG4 channel and posted that video of him in a dress!” SMG4 eyes go wide as he turns to Toad who was laughing, flipping him off, in a panic he takes out his phone and curses to himself. The internet graveyard has no internet beside the starbucks, he was going run to the cafe close by only to get grabbed by Three. “Third place, Meggy for her display of confidence in the badass showdown against the infestation of rat memes that i didn't want to deal with!” SMG4 struggles against Threes hold “Let go bitch i need to delete the video!!” ignoring his partner he flips to the next card his eyes going wide. Looking up he stares at Bob “Uh Bob..for his sick raps…and dad body? The fuck?” SMG4 stopped struggling to look at the card alongside Three. The card showed they recounted the votes multiple times to make sure it was correct. 
Now it was the time everyone was waiting for, SMG4 seeing how he was the only one, got excited. He expected to hear his name only to be surprised “It’s me again! Wow I'm shocked you guys find me so sexy you voted for me when i wasn't even a part of this!” Four grabs the note reading it “That's bullshit then what about me!?” SMG3 smirks “I did say your tumblr’s pathetic man congrats!” Four stares at three “What…WHAT DO YOU MEAN PATHETIC WHAT ABOUT ME IS!” The two start fighting as the crew congratulates each other for their placement. Then they turn to watch the pair fight, Bob decides to make it fun by starting bets as the men argue through the night. 
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heiwa-the-tistic · 10 days
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“Hey can you guess this character?”
Sure
“Alright, he’s from a Indie Animation”
Alastor from Hazbin Hotel
“No, he’s always smiling and has yellow teeth”
Alastor
“No, he has animal characteristics and even though everyone draws him with a tail, we haven’t seen it canonically”
So it’s Alastor
“No! In the first weeks the animation aired he turned into a Tumblr Sexyman”
A-L-A-S-T-O-R
“No, people shipped him with the main character in the beginning, but now they shipp him with another character”
So it’s Alastor from Hazbin Hotel
“No, he’s canonically Aroace!”
Literally Alastor, there’s no way you’re talking about someone elese
“No, people like his sarcastic demeanor even though he’s an asshole to a lot of the characters, and fans are sure he has more knowledge than he lets on”
You are simply describing Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, I don’t think there’s another answer
“No! He’s voiced by Michael Kovach”
Oooooh, That’s Jax! From The Amazing Digital Circus!
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