#He sees the opportunity for Crowley to leave hell but doesn’t realize it would be trading one prison for another | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roublardise · 3 years

Text

my "Crowley isn't attracted to women" take

for @spnprideweek - day 2 - mlm

cw: dicussion of homophobia & transphobia all in all I wanted to highlight how canon gay Crowley is bc I love him 💕 thank u spn for Crowley even tho he deserved better

in the last weeks I've realized there's a huuge consensus in the fandom for pansexual Crowley. if you're pan or not and wanna hc Crowley as pan, power to you! but what's bothering me is the non-discussion of it all. the way it seems obvious for everyone. whereas, to me, Crowley has been canonically gay all this time.....

disclaimer: I'm aware Mark Sheppard alledgely said he saw Crowley as pansexual, however I can't even take these words for canon without context. Especially not when a year later he'd say Crowley's sexuality didn't matter. The way Mark Sheppard talks about characters' sexuality is more a "why are people making a big deal let them be" than "the character doesn't care." Moreover, actors pov can't be taken as canon imo. Jensen Ackles thought Dean straight for so long when Dean's been bi all this time as well. Sometimes actors are biased by their own experiences & stereotypes!

disclaimer #2: on god I don't wanna start discourse lmao. I just wanna share my silly thoughts about a tv show & question the way Crowley's sexuality is written in this silly homophobic tv show. don't @ me about what's making you think Crowley is indisputably pansexual bc I assure you I already know your points

That being said, here's why I think Crowley is a bear, a gay man, a trans gay man actually, a homosexual, who isn't attracted to women & some food for thoughts about why the unquestioned consensus towards pan Crowley could have roots in both homophobia & panphobia.

I don't think we can think of Crowley as your usual demon. We know too much about Crowley's life as a human, and the numerous ways in which he acts un-demony, almost humanly after. Considering him simply like a demon with no concept of gender preference who would be pan “by default” wouldn’t be right with his character. But we also can't question his sexuality in the exact same way we would a human's.

It also can't be thought in the same way as angels': as once-humans demons do have a concept of gender. Crowley especially cares a lot about his gender presentation and the way he's addressed. Not only does he literally sell his soul for a bigger d*ck as a human ; as a demon he uses the same vessel where other demons are shown to move once they had to leave one ; and for the few hours Crowley's possessing a woman, he clearly states he should still be referred to as king.

This will all be used for homophobic & transphobic jokes in the show, but I'll get back to that later on. Gender does matter to Crowley's identity, and I think it could be extended to his sexuality.

I've seen numerous descriptions of it all saying Crowley's sexuality was "ambiguous" and I guess it is, as he never explicitly used any label. However "ambiguous" doesn't mean bi or pan. It doesn't mean anything besides the fact we can't draw a clear-cut conclusion of his sexuality.

Imo we can actually draw a clear-cut conclusion of Crowley's sexuality but yeh, I'm getting there.

----------------

Let's take a look at canon events around Crowley & sexuality!

His character introduction is him enjoying making a homophobe man kiss him for a deal

It is rumoured that he was a demon's lover (Lilith's)

He heavily flirts with Bobby

He french kisses Bobby for a deal and takes a pic

He never kisses a woman on screen (tell me if I forgot anyone!)

He flirts with every single man he sees, and even more strongly when it's making the other uncomfortable

The other parent of Crowley's son is never mentioned nor even brought up

He has two orgies that we know of

He has sex with a demon who's possessing a woman (Lola) when he was addicted to human blood

He dates, has sex with, and asks Dean to rule Hell with him. He's in love with Dean

On late spn he drinks fruity drinks

He flirts with and implies he had sex with an angel (Naomi)

He flirts with Death (Billie)

He's into BDSM

I'm not gonna go into details with all the sexual stuff he says bc there's a lot.... But it's always about gay sex. (once again, if I'm forgetting smth pls tell me nicely)

Now, with all that I'd like to question specifically the elements people use to say Crowley is canonically attracted to women.

He has two orgies that we know of

There’s the one Crowley has while he’s himself possessing a woman ; iirc it’s a foursome with two other men and one woman. Crowley still counts as a King, as the show makes sure we know, admitedly this dialogue implies we should still think of him as a not-very-manly-man.

Honestly, if one is convinced Crowley is attracted to women based on this scene.. okay. Personally I don’t see it because the orgy is unplanned, it’s an opportunity Crowley takes. Is he even attracted to the two other men?? Who knows. We don’t even know if Crowley even touches the other woman, there’re so many ways to have group sex. Even if he did, having sex with one woman doesn’t make it impossible for him to be homosexual.

The second orgy is with Dean. Crowley describes it then: “We've done extraordinary things to triplets.” It’s interesting how before I went to check, I thought it was clear the triplets were women. But not at all! I’ve been tricked by heteronormativity myself. So this is up to interpretation. Even though the way the show doesn’t make sure we know the triplets were women is pretty telling (as I’ll talk about later).

It is rumoured that he was Lilith's lover

Well, this is a rumour. In this relationship Crowley would know Lilith as a demon possessing a woman, and Lilith would know Crowley as a demon possessing a man as well. Who's even to say they met in their vessels to sleep together. That's the kind of cases in which the ambiguity of Crowley human/demon situation makes it impossible to draw any kind of conclusion towards Crowley's attraction to women. Also if anything Lilith is clearly a lesbian lmao.

He has sex with Lola when he was addicted to human blood

Same thing here, the relationship is one of demon/demon. Though we do now they do meet in their vessels to sleep together. Besides that, the sex happens while Crowley is at a low point. She's the one bringing him human blood, which makes the sex more of a transaction than anything. It does fit a very grey area of consent which would be fair to question.

We can't know for sure whether the demon possessing the woman was a woman as well, but let's say she was: 1/ Crowley having sex once or twice with a woman doesn't prevent him from being homosexual. 2/ What is he seeing if not a demon's true form? 3/ Wasn't he in a self-destructive mental state?

It's a stretch, imo, to assume Crowley was attracted to her.

He flirts with and had sex with Naomi / flirts with Billie

This one is so ridiculous to me bc Naomi is an angel and as a demon, Crowley sees her true form. We don't even know who was her vessel when they had sex.

The flirt thing is interesting however, bc iirc Naomi and Billie are the only "women" we see Crowley actually flirt with. During the orgies or the demon sex there's no flirt involved. It's interesting bc, as Cas would say: "Naomi's vessel is a woman. Naomi is an angel."

Same case for Billie who's a reaper then Death. Spn is pretty unclear about how the whole thing works but we know reapers are kind of angels. In any case, I won't go as far as saying Billie has any connection to gender.

Moreover, the way Crowley flirts with them is pretty light next to everything else Crowley says to men. It's pretty personal, I'm aware, but I do relate a lot with the way Crowley flirts with them VS how I flirt with men just because (and I'm a lesbian).

Anyway! Both Naomi and Billie are supernatural creatures, which brings the count of women Crowley flirts with to... zero.

-> What I take from all that is that Crowley is attracted to men for sure ; to angels and demons ; and doesn't care about the genitalia involved in the sex he has. We have nothing about the kind of relationships he had as a human. His gender presentation matters a lot to him. The only long-term commitment he has is with Dean. I wouldn't even say he had a committed relationship with Gavin's other parent bc we don't know anything about them.

----------------

But what's my deal with homosexual Crowley? One can wonder, if Crowley doesn't care about bodies, doesn't that mean he can still be written as pan?

No! First because sexual attraction isn't about genitalia (even if transphobes would argue the contrary but they're transphobic so...). And second, well....

I would refer to this point as "how do I know Crowley isn't attracted to women? bc Dean is"

I'm convinced that if the show wanted to write Crowley as anything other than a gay man, it would have been way more obvious.

This is a show who wrote Dean catcalling a faceless woman on the street, for no other reason than to remind the viewers Dean was attracted to women & to balance it with the following homoerotic scene.

One could say spn doesn't have lots of women characters to begin with, but that's my point exactly: when spn wants to show attraction towards women, they do find women for people to be attracted to. Hell, they even give Gavin some girlfriend but never ever bring up the topic of Gavin's other parent. Even though an entire episode is dedicated to learning about Crowley's past.

What's important to understand Crowley's sexuality isn't the people he slept with ; it's the people he doesn't show interest in.

The absence of something is the presence of the thing, blablabla. It's a way to look at homosexuality that heteronormativity makes hard to see because, unconciously, we don't tend to question attraction towards the expected gender. One would ask for a 10 pages essay on why a character is gay, but one would need only a 2 sec kiss to assure a character's heterosexuality or attraction towards the expected gender.

----------------

In Crowley's case, his attraction to men is a huge part of his character right from the beginning (thanks god, at least no one's questioning that). Spn as a show that hears what the fans are saying and twists writing accordingly, is perfectly aware of that. Yet rather than pushing women at him along the course of the show to remind everyone how Not Gay Crowley is - the opposite happens.

Yeh, Lola, Naomi, Billie, they all happen in the later seasons. But even then, the show somehow can't write Crowley as attracted to a human woman.

What happens then is: not only does Crowley fall for Dean ; he engages in some BDSM play with Lucifer : and he switches from drinking only the finest Scotch to fruity cocktails.

The BDSM thing as well as the drink thing are choices rooted in stereotypes, that's how spn is! But it does canonize Crowley's homosexuality. They're depriving him of his "masculinity" as the show goes on, because they purposely write him as homosexual. I don't think spn would have ever written a bi or pan character that way.

We learned a few days ago that Crowley died in a gutter. He died in a gutter for a bigger d*ck. I'm just gonna refer to Oscar Wilde & Mika on this : "some of us in the gutter are looking up at the stars."

The "referred to as king" scene isn't about Crowley being a demon and so not caring about gender - it's the opposite. Other demons are the ones poiting out Crowley's vessel. This is a transphobic joke. It's the demon edition of the "gay boy in a dress" transmisogynistic trope.

Viewers aren't supposed to be on Crowley's side ; we're supposed to be giggling with the other demons while Crowley is being emasculated. Crowley gets a woman vessel because he's a not-very-manly-man, because he's a trans man, because he's homosexual.

And I know that bc Dean is written as bi, and all they're doing is reaffirming the way he does like women while being extra subtle with his love for men.

Meanwhile Crowley is losing influence and power, loses his authority as he loses his throne in Hell, gets humiliated by Lucifer, until all his character revolves around is his love for Dean. The way Crowley is then protrayed as some lovesick ex who can't move on is, imo, a straight man fantasy. Crowley's love is both used as predatory and as a tool to validate Dean's Peak Masculinity.

Spn has been burying their gays all along, and Crowley was right there being punished for not only being in love with Dean but for not being attracted to women. For never being able to be a "normal" guy. For never being able to be seen as a "normal" guy. For checking every homophobic stereotypes in the books. Crowley as a human dies because he's a trans man. Crowley as a demon dies because he's homosexual.

----------------

That's what leads me to be uncomfortable with the way the fandom seems to have a consensus towards pansexual Crowley. (Once again: idc about people's personal hc of Crowley as pan, I just want to think critically about the way no one thinks twice about it & accepts it as canon so easily. Hell, just bc I dared to ask what started the pan Crowley confirmation I got accused of erasing his pansexuality. All I did was ask a question.)

To me, it feels like erasing everything his character went through because he was gay. And it seems to be taken from a reasoning which is going to assume Crowley is attracted to women.

I mean: the reasoning would go "oh, Crowley clearly has a non-straight sexuality -> he's attracted to men -> he's pan" His attraction to women being accepted by default, without needing any backup. And when I look at the canon I see nothing implying he'd be attracted to women. Taking Crowley's attraction to women for granted is following an heteronormative thinking.

Being into people isn't all about who one sleeps with. It's about love. And when we look at what spn shows about Crowley's close relationships, the only meaningful one he got is with Dean. When Rowena wants payback for Crowley making her kill Oskar, she goes for his son.

And it's SO interesting to me because if angels can't be in love because they don't have a soul - can demons? as they're beings with a destroyed soul? And if so, how powerful of Crowley to still fall in love with Dean Winchester.... the power of gay love :) (Crowley 🤝 Cas)

----------------

To conclude all this with some more stuff to think about if, like me, you love questioning everything:

While it's not wrong per se to hc Crowley as pan, it can be worth questioning what's making us so sure we collectively just vibe with it? To me there's a few things: - As I was saying: heteronormative bias - Crowley being a non-fully-human character - Crowley being masculine (despite the show's attempts to erase that) - Crowley being into BDSM - Crowley flirting and making sexual remarks in every context

These, unconsciously, gives a vibe of a character who's "outside" of the gender norm, not making big deal of their sexuality, not even questioning it. This creates this idea of "ambiguity" around Crowley's sexuality. The way Crowley particularly seems to be really chill about sex, is a demon (so what does he know about gender?), and heavily flirty, ... is what most people will link to pansexuality. That doesn't mean thinking of Crowley as pan is being problematic™ ; this means in western medias that's what fills the "pansexual character" imagery (like basically: the Jack Harkness type).

However, when we look at it like that, none of these elements are defining of pansexuality. None of them are excluding him from homosexuality. If not stereotypes.

That's where it gets personal ; but it does make me feel like the huge consensus towards a pansexual Crowley (when there is no clear-cut evidence of it) is erasing the complexity of homosexual experiences. As I said at the begining: I'm happy if pansexual people can relate to Crowley ; everone's free to headcanon. But saying Crowley is canonically pansexual is a stretch - and a take rooted in homophobic stereotypes.

Imo Crowley may have been created with all these traits pushing towards a pan reading of his character. However, as the show went, he was clearly written as a homosexual man. The changes in his portrayal took a turn to be specifically homophobic. He gets imagery that only strictly homosexual characters got (such as drinking fruity cocktails like Aaron. Meanwhile Dean, on the same scene, is allowed beer & whiskey.)

We're used to taking spn's homophobic rep and jokes to make it our own. Yet it seems, when it comes to Crowley, the fandom doesn't see it.

Sometimes people aren't attracted to the gender heteronormativity expects them to be attracted to.......... sometimes people are gay and it's not an umbrella term.

#crowley spn #spn crowley #crowley #trans crowley #spn meta #supernatural #spn #so..... i went off once again #homophobia #transphobia #i just kept adding stuff to it lmao and i would STILL have stuff to say but this is enough #long post #spnprideweek

44 notes · View notes

holycatsandrabbits · 3 years

Text

Love’s Endless Light: A Good Omens serial romance

READ FROM THE BEGINNING

Chapter 2: Fear Dispelling

57 BC, El Mirador, Mesoamérica

It was oddly easy to forget that Aziraphale was an angel. Especially because Aziraphale never missed an opportunity to remind Crawly of that. But while Aziraphale tended to act in an angelic manner: kind, caring, generous, he was also sort of unassuming, meek and mild, gentle. Which was why it always nearly gave Crawly a heart attack to see Aziraphale suddenly transform into a Soldier of Heaven.

They’d been standing in the marketplace. Aziraphale was prattling on about something, and Crawly wasn’t really listening, because he’d been distracted. Crawly wasn’t sure why, but sometimes odd things about the angel would catch his attention: the way the the white hair on his arms seemed to sparkle in the sunlight, the lively noise his hands made when he clapped them free of dust, the way his voice occasionally dropped low and sounded almost— tempting.

So while Crawly had been gazing curiously at Aziraphale’s sandals, noting with inexplicable interest that the angel’s second toes were longer than his big toes, some humans started a fight, and Aziraphale apparently felt the situation called for the Powers of Heaven. Suddenly Crawly was standing next to an angel in glory, feet planted apart, wings arching out, glowing golden, with his hands curled around the hilt of a flaming sword.

Soldier was such a strange look on Aziraphale. He was always clever, but now he looked calculating. He was strong, but now he looked powerful. Crawly backed up as far as he could go without actually running away. Aziraphale didn’t spare him a glance, all of his attention on a group of humans who’d apparently been menacing some other group of humans. Now some of the attackers were cowering, but others had armed themselves with whatever they could lay hands on— stone and obsidian knives, broken pottery, even a spear.

They didn’t stand a chance against an angel who had clearly been trained in close-hand combat. The sharp, pointed way Aziraphale moved now was so alien to his usual quiet walk and gentle habits that it gave Crawly a shiver. It reminded him so clearly of the War in Heaven between angels and Fallen angels. Crawly remembered the brilliant light, the screaming, the pain and heartbreak of friend pitted against friend.

Crawly hadn’t known Aziraphale then. He wasn’t even sure Aziraphale had been in the War. Either way, Aziraphale clearly knew how to fight. Except for one thing: none of the humans were being injured. Aziraphale fought only to disarm them. Eventually, the whole group of them were forced to admit defeat, and they fled.

Crawly expected the other humans to be grateful to their defender. Apparently Aziraphale expected it as well, because he reached out toward a child who had fallen.

The child buried her face in her mother’s leg, sobbing. Her mother picked her up and ran.

Aziraphale’s glow doused itself in an instant, as if someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over him. The sword and wings vanished, too, leaving Aziraphale as just a man standing by himself in an empty marketplace. He kept his face turned away from Crawly, but Crawly could see the tension in his shoulders, like his wings were still weighing on him.

Crawly wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t want to get closer to Aziraphale right now, but neither could he bear to leave him alone. “There’s your good deed for the day,” Crawly called.

Aziraphale didn’t answer. His gaze was trained onto the ground, where stone knives lay in a haphazard pile, gray with dirt and dust, but not a speck of blood. The lack of all sound ate at Crawly, the quiet of what should have been a busy marketplace, of what should have been a chattering angel.

“Kind of you,” Crawly offered, uncertainly. “You’re always protecting them, even from themselves.”

“Kindness is in the eye of the beholder, apparently,” Aziraphale said.

Crawly was so unnerved by the heartbreak in Aziraphale’s voice that he said the next thing that popped into his mind, although, historically, that had never failed to be a bad idea. “Did you learn those moves in the War in Heaven?”

Aziraphale’s head snapped up, and he gazed at Crawly with shocked blue eyes. “That— that was a long time ago,” he said, his cheeks flushing a feverish red.

Crawly was very much regretting angering what he somehow seemed to keep forgetting was an very dangerous angel. “Um— I just meant—”

“Why?” Aziraphale demanded, stalking closer to Crawly. “Do you think I want to fight you?”

Aziraphale hadn’t reignited his glow or brought out his wings, but he stood in front of Crawly with his hand tilted up, like he was expecting to momentarily be holding a sword. He was an angel facing down a demon, but not like Crawly had ever seen before. This angel looked not murderous and violent but sick and in pain.

“No,” Crawly said. “I know you don’t.”

Aziraphale’s gaze played over Crawly’s face, as if he was unsure whether to believe him. As if Aziraphale had an awful lot riding on that answer.

“I don’t want to fight you either,” Crawly said.

Aziraphale’s sword hand lowered. “I know. I was stupid enough to pass out drunk with you in Egypt a couple of hundred years ago. You could have—”

Crawly made an uncertain noise. “I mean, I was drunk too. So, you know. Not at my best.”

Aziraphale was looking at the ground again. “Were you in the War?” he asked softly.

“Yeah. Well, kind of. I hid.” Crawly wasn’t sure how he expected Aziraphale to react to that, but it definitely wasn’t a half-second of clear relief followed by his usual more tempered expression.

“You weren’t supposed to do that,” Aziraphale chided, but his voice had gentled again, disapproving rather than dangerous. “Hell would have punished you if they’d found out.”

“Eh, well—” Crawly said, “you see, the thing about rebelling is they can’t just expect you to stop, right? I mean, I rebelled against Heaven.” Crawly’s voice broke a bit. “In— in my own way. Sort of happened into it. But anyways, I Fell, and then they suddenly expect me to follow new orders? Doesn’t work that way.”

“Once a rebel, always a rebel?” Aziraphale asked.

“Hardly going to stop now,” Crawly said. And then, in an act that he would later realize marked the beginning of a very, very distressing and ultimately unshakable habit, he took it upon himself to fight away Aziraphale’s sadness. “Might even,” he said, “have dinner with an angel. If he’s amenable.”

Aziraphale raised his eyebrows a little, looking soft and strangely hopeful.

********

READ FROM THE BEGINNING

Read on Ao3

Updates Fridays on Ao3 and Tumblr.

Want to create fic, art, or other works based on this series? Please do! Just dm or tag me.

My previous Good Omens serial: Mr. Fell’s Bookshop

My Carrd

*********

Image text: Love’s Endless Light by Dannye Chase (HolyCatsAndRabbits) Chapter 2

As Aziraphale and Crowley slowly fall in love over the millennia, Crowley discovers that Aziraphale is keeping a very dangerous secret.

#Dannye writes #Love's Endless Light #Good omens #good omens fanfic

16 notes · View notes

leviskokoro · 4 years

Text

Mari In Twisted Wonderland | Abridged Version | Savanaclaw

Chapter 2

Days after the Overblot Incident and Revenge Unbirthday Party, Mari gets another dream and this time it’s about the furries-- I mean, animals. She didn’t really get what it meant.

Lunch happened and Ruggie stole Grim’s lunch. Mari was confused but then they were called to the Headmaster’s office so she couldn’t question it.

Crowley explained shit to the shared brain cell trio and Mari. Blah blah blah. Grim got upset that he can’t play magift and show off. Mari rationalized with him that he won’t be able to show off if he’s only a beginner and that she’ll treat him to canned tuna to cheer him up. He seemed to be having a terrible day, getting his lunch stolen and then being told he can’t participate in a sports event.

She asked Crowley if he was searching for a way home but quickly realizes that he didn’t seem to be doing it. Though, she didn’t really say anything about it since the demon brothers were probably looking for a way to get her back.

Then they got back to their dorms later but Crowley came to visit and explained that students were getting injured and shit was real sus since there were a lot of them. Grim told him that he didn’t want to help but he pretty much just forced them by saying the Ramshackle Dorm wasn’t free. He also bribed Grim by saying he’d let him participate in the magift tournament. Though, Mari was aware that he was lying through his teeth. However, she said nothing since she didn’t want to break Grim’s spirit again. Plus, she was going to help regardless of the situation. Might as well be helpful while she’s stuck in there.

So the investigation started. They looked in the infirmary and Mari noticed that there were no Savanaclaw students that were injured but figured that maybe the culprit hasn’t got to them yet. Then they interrogated two injured students from Heartslabyul and they didn’t get any helpful answers so they tried looking for more clues. Only to fail and go back to the Ramshackle Dorm.

Ace visited and they explained the situation to him. But then Deuce ran in and yelled about how Trey got injured too. So they ran to the Heartslabyul dorm and saw him.

Mari was genuinely proud of Grim for being nice enough to give Trey the can of tuna she bought for him earlier in order to cheer him up.

Riddle came by to check on Trey and then explained how he got injured. Then Cater pulled everyone excluding Trey to a different room and let Mari tell them about the other injured students.

So, the Heartslabyul gang + Grim and Mari went to investigate together and saw the Pomefiore Dorm, which was probably Mari’s favorite dorm so far. It was certainly pretty.

And now for Mari’s first impression of Rook: “Dang he kinda hot”

Rook will remember that

Then the rest of the gang decided that he didn’t look strong enough so the culprit probably wouldn’t wanna target him, then went on to Octavinelle to see the tweels.

First impression of the tweels as she and the rest ran for their dear lives: “Jesus fuck they’re creepy”

They escaped and Mari finally remembered what she noticed about the injured students again. “Savanaclaw might be the next targets since there weren’t any injured students from there”

So they got to the Savanaclaw Dorm and met Jack. She was like “oh you’re the hot furry” and he was like “excuse me?” Then he tells them that he won’t be targetted and that they should fuck off.

Then they got in trouble with Savanaclaw delinquents and Leona and Ruggie came. Leona recognized Mari as the herbivore that stepped on his tail. The delinquents get angry but he still drinks respecc women juice and just challenges the gang to magift. Since Mari had no magic, she had to sit this one out.

She goes home and sleeps, but then realizes she can’t and decides to have a midnight walk because she hasn’t seen enough horror movies to know that’s not the best idea. Then she meets Malleus. Probably thinks he’s the hottest guy she’s seen in NRC besides Leona and Jamil.

“Oh, you are a child of man” “And you’re a man with horns”

She isn’t particularly intimidated by him. Like— She’s met Lucifer and has been nearly killed by him twice. Some strange dude with horns got nothin’ on him. Mari asked who he is and he seemed to be surprised by that, then he smirked.

Dude said it would be better if she didn’t know and let her call him whatever she wanted. She was like “Aight” then he left.

Mari goes to sleep and has another dream. She wonders why she’s having another dream about animals and why does the lion look familiar. Then she woke up, wondering what it meant. Barbatos was rather vague when he gave her his parting gift.

On the way to school with Grim, she told him about the Tall handsome dude with horns. He dubbed him “Tsunotarou”. She liked the name a lot and decided to use it.

They meet up with Cater and Riddle, who tell them that Jamil got injured. So they go meet him.

‘Ah fuck his voice is hot too’ Mari thought when she met him. It seemed that she was right about Kalim, he was quite friendly.

So they finally found out about Ruggie but couldn’t catch him. Then Jack appeared again. He’s like “Why are you working so hard for other people’s sake?”

Ace is like “Lmao we just wanna get picked for the magift tournament and show off. We don’t give a shit about these guys.”

Mari sighed and said, “Why is literally everyone in this school so selfish?” And Jack questions her as to her reason for doing it. Then she replies with “Well-- Crowley kinda said that living in the Ramshackle Dorm wasn’t free. Though, he didn’t really have to force me since I would’ve helped regardless because I just like feeling helpful.”

Then Jack told the shared braincell trio that they’re worse than he thought. Though, he also mentioned that he didn’t trust Mari’s type. As in, “Guys that just do things for others”

Ace was like “no u”

Then Jack was like “Fight me bitch. If you want me to spill my guts, you gotta defeat me”

Deuce went bad boy like “fuck yeah lets go dude” and they fight

And they win. The rest of the guys are surprised that Mari knows how to fight. She’s like “The Future King of Hell taught me martial arts for like a year” and they’re not sure whether she’s being serious or if she’s crazy.

And then Jack went into this whole spiel about how cowardly tricks make him nauseous and how he wanted to use his own power to claim victory at the top. Then he finally spills the beans on what Ruggie’s unique magic is and how Savanaclaw is in on the plan.

“Why would they?” “How well you do in the magift tournament can have a big impact on your future, right? So I can’t say I don’t understand their feelings”

“GRRRRRRRRRRRR”

Mari is like “Dude, chill. Understanding someone doesn’t mean you agree with them.”

Jack replied with “The now comes before the future! Show what you can do now!”

Then goes onto yet another spiel about how he can’t stand Leona and how that guy is amazing but never gives his full effort.

Ace whispers to Mari like “Damn he tsundere for his own dorm leader”

And Jack tells them that Savanaclaw is going to target the dorm leader of Diasomnia, Malleus Draconia during the day of the magift tournament.

Riddle and Cater come by like “Lol thanks for telling us” Then Riddle was going to tell them the plan but Jack was like “bitch im not gonna help. Im gonna do this shit myself. Bye”

Mari countered with “What have you accomplished on your own?”

He’s just >:(

“Smart wolves hunt as a pack” “Ugh fine. But if your plan sucks, I’m leaving.”

So after hearing Riddle out, he’s like “Aight I’ll help.”

Everyone came to an agreement and went to their respective dorms. Mari has another dream, then thought “Bruh he really wanted to be king then when he became king, he didn’t even do it right.”

“Oi, wake up.”

Mari felt someone shake her awake. She groaned and swatted away the hands, wanting to sleep more. It didn’t quite register in her mind that someone broke into her room. It was only until her blanket was tugged away from her. The cool air hit her bare body. She shuddered and her eyes finally fluttered open to see Jack with a flustered expression before he threw the blanket over her body.

“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NAKED?!”

“WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!”

“Tch.” He looked away and rubbed his neck. “I came from my morning run to wake you up early. I couldn’t let you oversleep on the day of the tournament. S-Sorry for breaking into your room…”

Grim perked up and was motivated to go immediately so that he could collect his reward to play in the tournament. “Come on! Let’s go already!”

“Just let me get dressed and I’ll be right with you. Be patient.”

For the rest of that morning, Jack couldn’t look at her directly. When he did, images of that embarrassing situation all came back to his mind

So they got to the stadium. Shit hit the fan but everything was fine because Heartslabyul revealed their plan. Diasomnia is perfectly alright.

Leona got pissed and he revealed his unique magic. Sand is everywhere. He’s trying to kill Ruggie.

Mari is like “Ugh I hate sand”

Jack also revealed his unique magic and turned into a full furry-- I mean, wolf. This surprised Leona, which gave Riddle the opportunity to collar him.

Lilia be spittin facts.

Hearing Leona yell about agony and despair and that things will never change kinda made Mari’s heart hurt because it felt… familiar. How hopeless he seemed to feel. It reminded her of how she was before coming to the Devildom.

Then he overblotted.

Then they beat the sit out of him. Mari is like “Does this usually happen?”

So the magift tournament went on and Savanaclaw still got to play because the injured students wanted revenge. Grim also reminded Crowley about his reward so he was allowed to play against Savanaclaw.

Grim did an oopsie and tried to do a special move but it backfired and hit Mari in the head instead. She had to be rushed to the infirmary.

She woke up to see the shared braincell trio and the furry boys. Ace told her that she’s been asleep for so long that the closing ceremony was over and they’re dismantling the venue.

Leona told her that Diasomnia was the champion.

Ace and Deuce talked about how good Malleus was for a moment. Jack was like “No one can win if they give up before they try.” Mari agreed with him. He then said that he was going to beat Diasomnia fair and square next year.

Leona was like ““Underhanded tactics” require one’s strength too” and she asked if he even felt bad. He was just like lmao no

A wild Babie has appeared. Leona went >:0 but introduced Cheka to them.

Mari squealed at the sight of such an adorable child. Internally she was saying “I’ve seen Cheka for 4 seconds but if anything were ever to happen to him, I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

Jack: So the root of all Leona’s pain is…

Mari: The cutest lil angel ever!

Cheka: Are you guys my uncle’s friends?

Everyone else laughed at Leona except Mari who was busy introducing herself to the lil babie.

Leona will remember that.

Timeskip to when Mari went to sleep and saw the creepy shadow in the mirror. She’s lowkey shook but then she woke up. Seeing the time was pretty early in the morning, she decided to have a lil stroll to see the sun rise.

She found a good spot and sat down, singing lightly to herself.

The sound of leaves being crushed under one’s feet reached her ears from behind her. Mari didn’t bother looking up at the source, being too enamored with seeing the sky as its hues morph from navy to a golden yellow. The dark clouds turned into tangerine and peach ones. She gave a dreamy sigh.

“Oi, Mari.” She heard the gruff voice of Jack. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh you know, just… Watching that gorgeous sunrise. I’ve lived in a land with no sun for a year so seeing it like this is quite the blessing,” She responded, still not looking up.

“Seriously? I’ve never heard of a place like that.” Jack sat beside her.

“Yeah. Living in Hell was quite the experience but it was fun.” Mari chuckled lightly.

Her words caused him to furrow his eyebrows, wondering if she was kidding or not. He shook his head, deciding that it wasn’t important. He turned to her.

“So… about that time…”

“Hm? What time?” Mari finally looked at him, confusion swirling in her pools of chocolate. She tilted her head.

His face felt warm as the blood rose to his tanned cheeks. “Y-You know what I’m talking about!”

Upon seeing his flustered expression, she finally remembered what he meant. Her mouth formed an ‘o’. What could he possibly gain from bringing that up now?

“I wanted to apologize properly…” He spoke up again, rubbing the back of his neck. “I shouldn’t have violated your privacy like that and broke into your room.” He finally had the courage to look back into her eyes. Golden hues meeting chocolate.

“How can I make it up to you?”

Mari saw this opportunity and a smirk crept up onto her lips. “You could make it up to me by letting me pet you.”

He yelped and his eyes widened to the size of saucers. His ears stood erect. “Wh-What?!”

She pouted. “I thought you wanted to make it up to me? This is the least I could ask for after you broke into my room and saw me naked!”

“Okay! Okay! Just don’t yell or someone’s gonna hear you.”

Mari stopped and looked at him with expectations glinting in her eyes.

He leaned downward. His head was lowered and ears curled back, anticipating her touch.

She grinned and laid her hand over his head, caressing it tenderly. “Oh my~ Your hair is quite soft. I see that you groom yourself well, Jack. How nice~” She cooed, continuing to pet him with such pure glee swimming in her chocolate eyes. “How are you liking this? Does it feel nice~?”

“Tch… Just because I’m letting you do this, doesn’t mean I like it,” He told her.

“But your tail is wagging.” She pointed out. Blood spurted to his face and he pulled away.

“Alright, that’s enough!” He exclaimed to her, trying not to show her that he was flustered. “We’re going to be late for school if we don’t hurry.”

Mari glanced at the sun and nodded. “Oh! You’re right. I’ll go wake up Grim and head to class. Thanks again, Jack.”

“Don’t expect me to let you do that again. We’re not friends or anything.” He walked away from her.

A smile graced her lips as she watched him leave with a mirthful gaze. “Alright,” she whispered and made her way to the Ramshackle Dorm.

#mitw : av #twisted wonderland #twst #twst fanfic #twst headcanons

42 notes · View notes

chonko-the-simp · 3 years

Text

Lets Ramble about yet another Ranger's Apprentice OC

I'm gonna reuse the name Louella cause I'm in love with the nickname Lou at the moment and am not good at coming up with names. Lou is once again Gilan's younger sister, but not younger by much, maybe a year or two. But once again she wanted to be a Ranger and snuck around to learn with Crowley and eventually was taken as his unofficial apprentice.

The only reason she is unofficially his apprentice is because her father didn't want her being. a ranger and she gave in on the condition she could continue learning from Crowley. Of course Crowley isn't going to just give out secrets of how the Rangers do what they do without good reason, and the reason for him doing this is because it could be very useful having a Ranger other Rangers don't know about.

As far as Gilan knows she is Crowley's assistant, who also sometimes helps the king. Which in a way is true, but she's also the "51st" Ranger of the corps and works wherever it is that Crowley needs her. In the midst of Morgarath being on the move again and Wargals moving and preparing for war princess Cassandra has a visit to Celtica planned. Crowley sees it as an opportunity to see how the Celts are doing on their end, plus add some more protection for the princess, just in case.

This is how she and Cassandra happen across a small party of Will, Horace and Gilan when they escape the wargals. Gilan doesn't say anything about Lou being related to him or the fact that she is at all important. Lou in return doesn't share anything about Evanlyn's identity because she knows it is important that Gilan return to warn of the Celt's plight and if he knew Evanlyn was actually princess Cassandra he would never leave their little group.

Lou and Evanlyn are both stubborn as hell, so when given the chance to learn more of Morgatath's plans they don't hesitate to take it. Lou is a horrible enabler for the princess, Duncan doesn't know this though which is why he allows them to hang around one another. All of this eventually leads to them being captured by Skandians at the bridge. Lou goes absolutely fucking wild when the Princess is threatened and this leads to her needing to be knocked down and knocked over the head a few times before she finally stopped.

She's fucking wild and doesn't take any shit from the Skandians and though the plan is to sell her as a slave she strikes a coord with Erak. She finds an enormous amount of pleasure in not taking any order Erak gives her without argument. It was a long few months in Skandia before Halt and Horace arrived. And once they did she didn't try and hide her training and knowledge from them, Halt already knew of course and was perfectly fine with her input for the battle and all.

When they finally return from Skandia and there is the ceremony to reward them for their bravery in returning the princess safely king Duncan announces her as the 51st Ranger of the corps. Her responsibilities include filling any place that may need filled in the corps and being the escort for the Archers to Skandia every year. She goes and stays a week while making sure that they are settled and well cared for before returning home. That is the extent of her stays but it's enough for Erak to confirm that he's fucking in love with her. She is as well but will never admit it and to a point doesn't realize she is in love with him.

Like, it takes him being an idiot and going on one more raid for her to finally realize. The relief she felt when she finally saw that he was safe even if beaten and tied between two camels was extreme. She continues to be too proud to admit anything though and is like that throughout their imprisonment. Finally when they are freed and Toshak tries to flee she tries to step forward to fight him, and Toshak accepts cause everyone else knows that Erak is in love with her even if she doesn't Before the two can begin fighting though Erak pulls her aside and says something along the lines of sorry but this is my fight and kisses the back of her hand leaving her there somewhat shocked but like thats only the start.

It takes the two of them even longer to do anything more than the one kiss on the back of her hand. And finally finally finally they go from 0 to 100 and just straight up elope. After that Lou keeps her weird life and while all of Skandia knows that Erak married an Araluen woman none of Araluen really knows that Lou is married let alone to the Oberjarl of the Skandians. She also never comes straight out to tell people of the fact that she is married, she'll just casually mention her "husband" in conversations and people will stop dead, staring at her and ask, "wait- did you say husband?" then Lou responds like, "Oh yeah, did I not tell you that Erak and I got married on my last trip to Skandia?" She knows she didn't tell anyone, she just likes seeing them react as though they are the only person who didn't know when in fact she did this to everyone including Crowley and her father. Gilan tried to play it off like he knew that was the plan for her trip when in fact none of it was planned they hadn't even officially been together in any way Erak was just like, "yo, you wanna get married?" And Lou was like, "Lit, lets do it but I'm not waiting a year until I come back or having a giant party like Halt got stuck with." So eloping with the choice with a nice Skandian style party after the fact to celebrate of corse.

#rangers apprentice oc #ranger oc #the rangers apprentice #rangers apprentice

3 notes · View notes

thebeautyofdisorder · 4 years

Note

Dracula/Zoe- 68!

68. You know, there wasn’t a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in.

Ooh, excellent choice for Drac. Loads of pun opportunities. Ha, okay. I tried to keep this short as possible, but my intentions were thwarted by them wanting to be snarky bitches to each other for too long, alas. Bonus for you, extra time and effort for me. Enjoy ;) Backstory equivalent to my fic, if that’s easiest

Words Count: 1145

Rating: I’m going to say right on the EDGE of an M rating

Prompt list can be found HERE

Turning the knob to end the steady stream of hot water pouring into her bathtub, Zoe was prepared to shed her dressing gown up until she heard a suspicious rustling, followed by the sound of footsteps from elsewhere in her flat. It was times like this she really wished she had a cat to blame these things on - confronting a burglar was not high on the list of things she felt like doing tonight. Though frankly, if all they were doing was shuffling through her pantry, she was tempted to let them.

Heaving a sigh, she tightened the knot around her waist and moved quietly down the hallway, only to quickly see the tall and distinctive form of a 500 year old war lord standing in the middle of her kitchen with a look of baffled confusion on his face.

“You know, just because you can enter a home without invitation doesn’t mean you should,” the doctor scoffed wryly, her stance losing some of its tension.

“What in screaming hell are ‘potato flakes’ and why do you own them?”

“Because I’m a shite cook,” she defended flatly, and approached him just to grab the box he was studying with growing concern out of his hand, and toss it back onto the counter. It was only then did Dracula give her a true once over, dark eyes lingering over the thin material of her robe, causing her to cross her arms over her chest.

“Now what are you doing here? It’s late, I was about to have a bath.”

“Lucky me,” he self-congratulated, and was quickly met with a glare. Finally he rose his hands up in surrender. “Okay, I was bored.”

“Aren’t there other people you can harass, I just finally got home.”

“The city has been remarkably dead, and not in the fun way, so no not really.”

Suddenly the Count stepped closer, and Zoe forced herself to stand steady and look up at him as opposed to scurrying back, as she was almost certain he wanted her to. If he was looking for someone to frighten, he had really come to the wrong place. There was a foreign intensity in his gaze, though, that wasn’t of the bloodthirsty sort she was used to, and it made her fight not to squirm in the face of it.

“You know, there wasn’t a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in,” he remarked with a growing smirk.

Her eyes rolled. “We both know you’re not going to try to feed from me, it never exactly works out in your favor. If you’re hungry-”

“I’m not,” he corrected quickly, before she could even finish.

Her mouth shut as quickly as it had opened, subtle realization dawning on her features, followed by a stifled laugh.

“Is that really your line right now?”

He lifted an innocent brow. “Is that a refusal?”

“I...wasn’t aware the 15th century was so ‘nontraditional’,” she couldn’t help but comment, curiously.

“Oh it wasn’t.”

It was her turn to lift a brow. “So this is an experiment. I see. Well, in that case, don’t let me keep you from finding another willing participant.”

He glanced upright at the ceiling, as though in consideration tracing his lips with his fingers in a rudely distracting gesture of thoughtfulness.

“Hm. No, see I’m not sure anyone else would be as forthright as you are.”

“Hm, no I see your problem. I would take great joy in telling you that you’re terrible at anything,” she agreed, mostly just for the sake of mockery.

“Knowledge of the scientific method would of course be ideal,” he added, advancing on her further, and she finally felt the need to take half a step back, only to feel the kitchen counter pressing into her backside.

“Seems a bit much, I think,” she corrected flatly, though hadn’t exactly made a move to leave either. Whether it was morbid curiosity or a three year dry spell holding her in place, she couldn’t be sure. Bizarre amusement?

“Perhaps, but ‘a bit much’ is sort of my area.”

“I deeply regret introducing you to the internet,” she sighed, finally breaking eye contact with him just to roll her eyes skyward.

“You still haven’t said no,” Dracula observed keenly, gently cupping her chin and urging her gaze back to him, breaching physical contact with surprising subtlety.

“Must be the razor sharp fangs and the sedative saliva,” she made a point of sarcastically emphasizing, doing her best to ignore his fingers as they trailed down her throat slowly.

“Oh that only happens when I want it to, Zoe.” He paused as she rose her brows in disbelief. “Okay, and when there’s an excess of human blood. Irrelevant. You’re practically undead, you’ll survive. I can’t say the same for anyone else-”

“Fucking hell, at least it’d stop you from talking,” she snapped, though before she could move to regret her consent, the Count’s mouth had already crashed against hers, and she found herself sitting atop the counter that had previously been at her back, so quickly she almost felt dizzy.

Her nails dug into his shoulders for support on her new perch, though they worked beneath the strain with utter indifference, shifting under her grip as his hands ran up her thighs under the quickly separating fabric of her dressing gown, urging them apart so he could stand between them, pulling her forward against his still be-suited form. His tongue was, much to her annoyance, already doing some rather impressive things as it invaded her mouth and curled against her own. She pulled back, though, just as one of his hands cupped her centre, with a bite of his lip. The soft growl that erupted from him in response was almost hilarious.

“Foreplay is cheating, if you’re running a proper assessment,” she corrected with a breathy attempt at sounding stern, a tone borne of academia and apparently hitting its mark regardless of her debauched appearance.

He looked for a moment like he would protest, but it faded into a strange sort of obedience just as quickly, his only move of defiance coming as he stroked his hand down the length of her exposed sternum and sliced the tie of her dressing gown with his thumb nail, splitting it in two and getting it out of his way entirely.

“As you were, Dr. Helsing,” he agreed roughly, and she watched him sink onto his knees before her in what was probably the most fascinating sight she’d ever beheld.

“I’m banking on this being a disappointment,” she challenged stubbornly, even as she felt him approach with baited breath, unable to resist a last jab even as she felt his lips brush against her mound with mocking lightness.

“Place your bets wisely,” were the finally words she had to hear from him for quite a long while.

--------

Tag List: @hoefordarkness @allis143 @festering-queen @lets-talk-about-claes-baby @river-soul @dracula-s-bride @vanhelssing @punk-courtesan @gabesprincess @skeletalremainswithinme @chelsfic @alma37 @break-free-killer-queen @mephdcosplay @camille-stark @leah-halliwell92 @bang-and-a-blintz @chrsitophwaltz @carydorse @lady-of-the-wolves @charlesdances @crazytxgradstudent @imagineandimagine @my-fanfic-library @angielandon @onyxthevampire @serindiyoza @kandomeresbitch @bellamortislife @fuukonomiko @hyacinth-meadow @guardianbelle @mr-kisskiss-bangbang @claesbangme @draculaclaes @girlonfireice @pullthedamnlever @lamourcommecesttoujour @hopipollahorror @jangleprojet @hiphop-gir @ss9slb @littlemessyjessi @flyingleapdisco @le-fay-87 @crowley-needs-a-hug @bloodspatteredprincess @malkaviangirl @mitsukatsu @katwoman06 @tanja2306 @myst-l-vie @gatissed @mood-adlock @gettingcrazyforlife @drsherlockmoffat @alhoyin @xis23 @dreamer2381 @profiler-in-courage @garlicbreakfast @the-sign-of-tea @rheabalaur @ombradellaluna @feralstare

I’m sure there’s more of you, but spread it around, my dears, if you like. Requests still open, time constraints apply, for various fandoms. Ta.

#bbc dracula #dracula bbc #dracula 2020 #netflix dracula #claes bang #zoe van helsing #dracula/zoe #dolly wells #the undone & the divine #my writing #requests #asks #answers #my drabbles #tongues are discussed #bratty drac #river-soul

69 notes · View notes

new-endings · 4 years

Text

fic idea # 735 - Parasite AU

or But it was all just a metaphor

((in the good omens universe, some demons including beelzebub, hastur, and ligur have animals on their heads, and it's popularly postulated that these are their true forms. but what if these creatures are the "demon"— sinister, insidious things—that have taken over the empty vessel of a fallen angel?

the "demon" itself is a parasite. it latches onto these fallen angels, no longer protected and shielded by Her and it feeds off the remains of their divinity, their souls, until what's left is an empty husk.

when the first angels fell, their transformation to demons didn't happen simultaneously. the fall, yes, the pain, the loss of Her Grace, Her love—ripped open and left to fall at different speeds, that was within an instant—

but not the transformation.

not quite.

but crowley...crowley’s a bit different. he has a mark of a snake. he can transform into a snake. this can mean that sometimes— sometimes, the parasite can fully take over. but not always.))

the being known as crowley has been staving off a complete transformation for millennia. he doesn't quite know how he's managed for so long—maybe because he'd always been different from the other fallen. maybe different enough to see the creature and instead offer it a deal.

after all, who would want to fully animate a celestial vessel full-time?

or maybe it's because of the strange little angel by his side, the brightest, warmest Light he'd known since the vaguest memories of Heaven—that when the parasite first saw him, there upon the garden's wall—even it was drawn instantaneously and slithered up by pure instinct.

crawley, as he was called at the time, didn't know why. all he knew was that he had to make painfully, awkward conversation with the strange angel up there as the parasite suddenly receded back into the crevices of his soul, leaving the fallen to quietly basked in the strange angel's Grace.

it happened again and again as time marched forward and the humans populated the earth. always, always, the parasite would find the angel but always retreated leaving—now crowley— to deal with him and now…

crowley grew accustomed. crowley grew comfortable. and crowley grew to look forward to these meetings.

yet the more he saw him, the bolder the parasite would be. what was stretches of epochs between meetings became once every few centuries—and then Rome happened.

crowley had been miserable. and then this angel— his angel, something purred at the back of his mind— invited him for lunch, a little "temptation" of his own making.

there was a thunderstrike of realization and crowley understood then what this parasite wanted.

it wanted this angel to fall.

crowley thinks for thousands of years that the parasite wants aziraphle to fall so it can take over the principality as its host instead of crowley. after all, to crowley, aziraphale is pure light, unlike anything crowley's ever seen. of course he’d attract it like a beacon, finding him far more appetizing than the charred remains of crowely’s own dwindling light he has to offer.

and it's no secret that aziraphale...doesn't...always excel at his job. the poor dear tries but… he’s the living example of “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” he tried to rent out the entire inn for mary and joseph— he ends up forgetting to tell the innkeeper who the rooms are for, forcing the son of God to be born in a manger. he tried to avert the whole "Nero disaster” by turning the boy's aspirations to music for God's sake. that’s not to say that aziraphale was incompetent—but every flaw cataloged by heaven made crowley more and more nervous.

so the arrangement was born. crowley could take over his jobs for him—and so aziraphale can bungle up his jobs in turn. that way aziraphale can get a double commendation for doing his work properly— and for inadvertently messing things up with the other side.

((doesn't work. aziraphale absolutely excels at being a demon. he carries out temptations flawlessly. this is a great source of stress on crowley for centuries))

in the 1800s, crowley and aziraphale have a massive fight. crowley asked aziraphale to get him some holy water. a single drop is enough to kill a demon. crowley asked this for protection, in case the agents of hell found out about their arrangement.

and aziraphale denied him because it would be too dangerous, but what's interesting-- what's really interesting--

is that aziraphale's immediate reaction was to call the holy water "a suicide pill!" in this iteration, the context can have a very, very different meaning in that aziaphale is right: crowley would intend to use it on himself. aziraphale knows crowley by now. has known him for millennia. and he's right. it's a last resort if crowley ever feels that his control slips, that the parasite takes over, he has to have a way to take care of the problem before aziraphale becomes targeted by the creature lurking inside him.

and crowley does slip.

when crowley runs into the burning bookshop, reaches out and pleads to the parasite's senses to comb through the fire and ash in the air, and screams out that he can't feel aziraphale anywhere—that's when his control crumbles.

he's given up.

he's lost his angel.

there was nothing left in this world now. nothing left to do but to let the wars rage.

so he gives in. this vessel is his.

((from there, it’s a canon divergence from when aziraphale comes to the bar, seconds too late as the creature takes over. notice how hastur was scared of crowley during his drive through the wall of flames? he could likely smell exactly what crowley had become now.

canon events still occur with crowley acting...acting just a smidge off. a little less dramatic. a little ...darker.

but he's there at the airbase, willing to stand by his angel's side. this demon's been waiting for millennia to have that angel for himself. so he stands his ground. he won't waste the golden opportunity.

the meddling fallen...

maybe a fragment of him still exists in there.

maybe he's there when he sees their angel, their sweet, clever, wicked thing propose the switch

maybe he's there at the crevices of his mind when he spits hellfire at the archangels and rejoices with him as they burn.

maybe he's there when he takes their angel—his angel, has always been his angel— to bed, marking him, branding him, inside and out.

maybe he's there when aziraphale sighs in the quiet dark and says "I love you, Crowley..."

and maybe he's there when the demon smiles, sharper than before, and with a glow in his eyes more triumphant than the angel had ever seen.

"I've always loved you, Aziraphale."

in the events following the botched armageddon, its mask is slipping. for a while, it tries to uphold its persona as "crowley" but of course, it's not crowley. not completely. both crowley AND the parasite coexist to form the entity that aziraphale knows and loves.

he's…crueler. more dangerous. protective. possessive. he always knows where aziraphale is and of course a part of it is because he obviously is concerned for the angel's safety. the ruse won't be kept hidden forever, after all.

but it's more than that.

the fallen known as crowley thought that maybe being around aziraphale has kept the parasite at bay—but no, no he was wrong.

the only thing that kept the creature at bay had been crowley himself. when the parasite saw the angel for the first time, it slithered its way to the wall and crowley's immediate instinct was to take back the reins.

and the creature let it.

the deal they made was that crowley gets free reign to do as he pleases, but the demon can take control to have its fun in its own time. a bit like clocking in and out of work: many of the horrors humankind had made were indeed makings of their own.

but some were not without a bit of demonic influence when crowley wasn't around.

((there's a reason why crowley's so fond of sleep))

so when he tells aziraphale that he's been "asleep" it may or may not mean mean that the parasite has been taking his skin out for a spin.

so why didn't the parasite simply take aziraphale during these times?

well for one, crowley would most likely take control again. the creature may sense the angel's whereabouts, but crowley has his own special sense to know when aziraphale is in danger.

the other reason...is that he needs this fallen to court him.

win the angel over with his company, effortless banter, and teasing words all while the creature watched and learned, mimicked and mocked. it's a parasite— it doesn't know much about romancing and sweet-worded affections

but it knows quite a bit about getting what it wants.

((or maybe this was all just a metaphor of crowley's more demonic nature. he doesn't embrace "evil" and "sin" the way other demons do. and a large part of that is because he retains who he was before the fall. he didn't "fall" as much as he "vaguely sauntered downwards.” he was afraid of hell. he wanted to be here, on earth, with his angel and the humans he'd found equal parts amusing and equal parts frustrating. he didn't want to embrace what he'd become.

but the moment aziraphale turned him away for the last time, the moment he'd lost his angel-- something in him might have broken. it's no longer a sense of keeping propriety, it's now a matter of survival

yes, he's scared of hell. but now, he's more scared of losing aziraphale.

maybe the parasite was all in his head.

maybe he created it as a way to dissociate himself from the reality of his fall. maybe he and the parasite are one in the same.

and it's only now— now, after the very frightening reality of having lost aziraphale once— that he's willing to use whatever means he has to make sure aziraphale stays with him—

by his side.

like he's meant to be. like he was always supposed to be.

or maybe that's just what the parasite wanted him to believe))

#good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #fic idea #dark crowley #but not really #or is it #secondary title is from rironominds colourless saitama and his years of training #i just really love that title

34 notes · View notes

ineffable-endearments · 4 years

Text

“I lost my best friend” (does Aziraphale know?)

One of the most confusing moments for a lot of people, myself included, is Aziraphale’s reaction to “I lost my best friend.” I’m trying to parse out whether I headcanon that he Knows, and if he does, what his response means.

It turned into a 2000-word-plus analytical post. At first I thought Aziraphale knew, then I thought he didn’t, then I thought he did again. And there are so, so many implications for the whole rest of the story. That one line is such an important moment!

But I’ll put my thoughts behind a read more, for courtesy’s sake.

First of all:

Aziraphale definitely thought there was a chance Crowley might still want to help him out after he said he was leaving for Alpha Centauri, because he called Crowley the instant he realized Heaven was determined to destroy Earth. However, on his second contact attempt, he asked if Crowley went to Alpha Centauri. While Aziraphale probably knew, given the circumstances, that Crowley hadn’t literally left the planet, the question was an opportunity for Crowley to get out of helping. Aziraphale had to have given him that opportunity on purpose because he wasn’t 100% sure if Crowley would still want to help.

Last time Aziraphale called him, Crowley had said it wasn’t a good time to talk. “I’ve got an old friend here.” They didn’t get any time to communicate, but Crowley was playing it as cool as he could. Aziraphale, who...sometimes takes things at face value, could believe that he had an old friend there instead of an enemy.

Aziraphale does not know he’s supposed to be dead. He doesn’t know the bookshop burned down, and he has no idea about what Crowley went through inside.

All of these things together would lead me to think that no, in that moment, Aziraphale did not know Crowley was talking about him. He reacted as if he might not know, and there are several reasons that he could plausibly not know.

However.

Fast-forward to Tadfield airbase. Aziraphale realizes the best way to compel Crowley to come up with an idea for stopping Satan is to threaten never to speak to him again (or, at least, remind him that if they die now they’re never going to speak again). This would indicate that he does know what Crowley was suggesting back there: that Aziraphale is his best friend, so much so that life isn’t worth living without him. And, conversely, that he might be persuaded life is worth living for him.

This tells us with relatively little doubt that Aziraphale does in fact know Crowley’s feelings and that he was the loss Crowley was so upset about.

It’s also worth noting that in the script book, Aziraphale is given a chance to label their relationship when introducing Crowley to Madame Tracy. Aziraphale just says “He’s...well, we’re sort of business associates.” He is still reticent to label Crowley a friend (even though Crowley literally just said they were friends to the army guy). So it’s quite believable that back at the bar, he would have tried to work around accepting the Best Friend moniker from Crowley.

Initially, when Crowley said he “lost his best friend,” Aziraphale had no idea about the bookshop fire, and he probably thought Crowley was referring to their relationship being lost during their argument during the bandstand breakup. As in, the two of them had a fight, Aziraphale said “we’re not friends,” and now they’re not friends anymore. As far as Aziraphale would know, this upset Crowley SO much that he just gave up on living.

This is not flattering. This is disturbing. Aziraphale has been afraid of Crowley getting hurt by their relationship - “whatever you wish to call it” - for at least 417 years, first mentioned on-screen in 1601. Is it the only thing Aziraphale has been afraid of? Certainly not. He has been attempting self-preservation as well. But is it important? Without a doubt.

THIS IS KIND OF LIKE AZIRAPHALE’S BURNING BOOKSHOP MOMENT. Crowley isn’t LITERALLY dead, but he’s resigned himself to it...and Aziraphale is blaming himself. That awkward “I’m so sorry to hear it” is, in many ways, Aziraphale trying to keep his shit together. Just as Crowley, in the bookshop, thought he’d caused Aziraphale’s death, Aziraphale thinks Crowley’s death is the final consequence of befriending an angel.

I’d like to keep in mind the one instance in the series when Aziraphale does openly call Crowley a friend. It’s when he’s lying about not having any information about the Antichrist. When reminded to call with any updates, he says, “Of course! We’re friends! Why would you think I wouldn’t?” Given how strategic Aziraphale is trying to be, I think he’s partly nervous and losing track of his lies/accidentally letting the truth slip, and partly trying to butter Crowley up because he knows that if going to Heaven works like he wants it to, Crowley will have to accept their asylum. The one difference between this moment and all the other moments when he denies their friendship (which almost always also involve lying to other people) is at this moment, Aziraphale thinks he’s figured out how to solve Armageddon.

Anyway, Aziraphale promptly goes and feels Heaven out to see if they might just stop the entire war like he wants. When the Archangels turn the conversation to how much they all love smiting the foe, however, Aziraphale backs down and turns his Antichrist discovery into a hypothetical, choosing not to tell Heaven about it right away, either. Here, they’ve reframed Crowley once again as “the foe.” After that, Aziraphale has another fit of indecision, but agrees to meet Crowley at the bandstand, where he suggests, subtly (but not that subtly) that Crowley should join Heaven.

This tells me that he still hopes Heaven might save Earth, but if he’s going to save Crowley alongside Earth, then he’s gonna have to get Crowley on Heaven’s side so that he doesn’t get Smited. He’s so certain at this point this is the only solution that he won’t even let Crowley walk away until Crowley establishes that there is another option besides Heaven.

And that second option - the option to just leave it all and flee to the stars - is what makes Aziraphale decide it’s time to end their Arrangement and deny everything about their relationship instead of simply saying “no, I’m not leaving.” After all, Crowley cited their friendship as the reason they should go off together. As far as I can see, the only way this sudden turnaround really makes sense is if Aziraphale is being protective here, trying to remove himself from the equation in the desperate hope that Crowley will make decisions for himself rather than for Aziraphale (who is occasionally dense but is not stupid; he remembers 1862, and 1941, and 1967).

This exchange loops us back to Aziraphale’s probable assumption in the bar that Crowley’s “I lost my best friend” is referring to this fight, NOT to Aziraphale’s presumed death.

“I’m so sorry to hear it.” Almost six months later, I finally believe I have a real interpretation for that phrase. With the context that it’s Crowley explaining that’s why he hasn’t gone to Alpha Centauri to escape from the war between Heaven and Hell, why he’s so devastated, why he’s given up on survival, it’s Aziraphale responding, “I’m sorry you lost something so important to you. I’m sorry I was so important to you. I’m sorry that you decided your life wasn’t worth living without me.”***

But Aziraphale:

Is not going to apologize for the fight itself. He was harsh, but he WAS doing his best, and in this moment, I don’t think he sees any way that he could have avoided it.

Is not going to acknowledge that they’re friends. Right now, he likely still believes Crowley would be better off far away from here. And he also probably believes that calling themselves “friends” remains a bad idea, because while he’s been disabused of the notion that Heaven is worth asking for help, Heaven and Hell and their punishments are STILL looming over them. I have little doubt that Aziraphale’s ideology is playing into this as well - he believes they’re enemies and therefore cannot be classified as friends - but it’s the threat behind that ideology that is motivating him, not that he loves the ideology for its own sake.

Aziraphale always eventually turns to Crowley when he doesn’t know what to do because Crowley is fucking brilliant and also the only being in the universe who actually cares about either Aziraphale or Earth for their own sakes.

However, I’d say he avoided getting Crowley involved until he realized there was absolutely no other option, rather carefully made sure Crowley didn’t have to be involved, and gives Crowley a choice every step of the way on whether he wants to risk his life all the way until the tail end. When they’re sitting at the bus stop and he’s reminding Crowley, “my side wouldn’t like that,” it isn’t only for Aziraphale’s benefit; it is a habit, yes, but he’s likely thinking about how if the Archangels caught him and Crowley living together, they’d definitely smite Crowley because that’s what they love to do. They told him as much during the conversation in Heaven, going as far as to say “Crowley and the others were cast out, but nothing was ever really settled.” They’d love to “settle” things. So would Hell, now. And it is Crowley’s determination to stay that convinces Aziraphale it’s finally okay to believe they’re on their own side.

I think, on that bench in Tadfield, the question of whether it’s time to leave the planet was still hanging over the two of them. After all, they’re now slated for punishment. I think that by saying “I suppose I should get him to drop me off at the bookshop,” Aziraphale was gently informing Crowley that he doesn’t plan to leave Earth - he plans to die here. By saying “I don’t think my side would like that” about Crowley’s idea that they should live together, he’s giving Crowley one more chance to leave for the stars.

Good Omens is about a lot of things. One of them is opposites. Aziraphale’s faulty philosophical assumption is that blending two “opposite” things (or, in this case, people) will destroy them both. As far as he’s concerned, either one of those two people must first change, so that they’re no longer “opposite” (i.e. Crowley rejoins Heaven), or they must not mix (“I need a receptive body. It’s a pity I can’t inhabit yours! But occult, ethereal...we’d probably explode.”) The real truth is that having both of them together is the only way to win, of course. The Earth is a Libra and it thrives on balance, but not separation.

All this - the fact that Aziraphale will still ask for help with saving the world but denies his friendship with Crowley and seems to try to stay away as a protective measure - really suggests to me that Aziraphale loves Crowley, cares deeply about him, but wants him to stay only if he’s genuinely going to choose Earth for his own sake, not because he’s trying to choose Aziraphale (who, in his own opinion, is dangerous to be around; see 1601, the Holy Water, the bandstand). What he’s not taking into account is that he, Crowley, and the Earth are united as one, and it’s not only safe for the two of them to choose each other, but it’s essential.

Yeah. Leaving together on the bus is Aziraphale finally letting Crowley choose him.

***A little note about Crowley’s self-worth/will to live...I don’t mean to imply that he doesn’t have any interest in living outside of having a relationship with Aziraphale. Of course he does. But in that moment, with the incomplete information that Aziraphale has, it looks to him like that’s what is being said. In reality, Crowley’s despair isn’t just about not being friends anymore - it’s the belief that Aziraphale is dead, permanently gone. When you care a lot about someone, as hard as it is to move on from a breakup, it’s even more difficult to get over the despair of knowing that person is no longer out there at all. Combined with Armageddon, it was too much.

Crowley and Aziraphale are extremely oblivious, and yes, they do have some misunderstandings. But in the grand scheme of things, it’s not their mutual feelings that they’re oblivious to. It’s the fact that they actually do have the power to save each other. It took an act not of divine but of human intervention to get them to understand that.

#good omens #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #ineffable spouses

305 notes · View notes

quillyfied · 5 years

Text

Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 1

OH BOY Y’ALL IT’S HERE

This is the first string of fics I would wholeheartedly recommend from my bookmarks (probably first of three, we’ll see). There are 65 fics sorted into 9 categories: Jaunts Through History/Canon; South Downs; Post-Apocalypse; Bus Ride/Night Before/Heaven and Hell; AU/UA (UA is Universe Alternate, where everything is the same, just...a bit to the left. I feel like that term has more nuance, idk); Soft; Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings; Bonus; H/C /Whump/BAMF. These will be the same categories for every fic rec post in this vein. I try to include warnings for sex and gore, if applicable, but please check the tags of each fic before you read, just in case.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I BROKE A LINK OR MISATTRIBUTED SOMETHING.

I don’t read explicit works and I’m not a big fan of Human!AUs so there’s not any of those, but there’s a bit of just about everything else. Please enjoy! Hope the ReadMore works, sorry for folks on mobile if it doesn’t!

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. Bright With His Splendour – Daegaer (T, specifically book-verse. This is an exquisite look at the developments in Crowley himself, especially as it relates to his war-related traumas in the War in Heaven and later WWI. The Arrangement is Aziraphale’s idea here, which is awesome. Highly emotional and visceral.)

2. Whatever Road We Choose – @ri-writing (T, the one where Aziraphale gets jumped by some demons and Crowley nurses him back to health, and Aziraphale has to confront his worldview when he realizes Heaven never responded to his call for help. Quiet and powerful as Aziraphale starts to realize Crowley isn’t everything he thought he was and maybe Heaven isn’t, either.)

3. Linked – @chekhov (T, the one where Crowley shows up in Bukhara and Aziraphale has to pretend to capture him so his angel intern doesn’t destroy Crowley entirely. Has a lot of fun moments and emotional growth in play. And yearning. Lots and lots of yearning.)

4. The Demon Favourite – @kanna-ophelia (T, the one where Crowley is posing as a nobleman and manages to build himself a little ramshackle family, and Aziraphale takes care of them when Crowley gets himself discorporated. Extremely tender, lots of Crowley cooing over babies.)

5. Akashic Records – @penig (Generally G, one T, the series where Crowley is head-over-heels from the start and broadcasts it loudly, and Aziraphale is in Panic Protective Mode. The series is gorgeous and vibrant, the characterizations are so spot-on and yet fresh, the dialogue is perfect, the character growth is delicious. I can’t gush enough about this one.)

6. But The Old Love Was Not So – BuggreAlleThis (G, the one written in the style of Le Morte d’Arthur about Aziraphale’s final few days in the court of King Arthur. Hilarious with the promise of emotional pain to come in the second half.)

7. flightless bird (dumb, wild, and free) – JennaCupcakes (@veganthranduil) (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale make out for half of history while Aziraphale has an ongoing existential crisis about being a broken angel. Poignant, sensual, culminates in a deliciously fraught confrontation where Aziraphale has to finally sort himself out and Crowley says some hard but true things. I once spent three hours trying to find this fic again without remembering the title so now it’s kinda ingrained.)

8. Nanny Knows Best – @patricianandclerk (M, rest of series is T, the one where Crowley endures some truly horrible experiences while serving as Warlock’s nanny. Adorable relationship between Warlock and Crowley, and it’s only getting better. The dynamic with Aziraphale is nuanced and beautiful. Rating for sexual harassment and groping, and it’s a bit of a difficult read at times during those moments, so be careful.)

9. The Holy Essence of Experience – Dragonsquill (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley have loved each other almost since the beginning, but have been very careful to not put a name to it. The yearning is real and so gorgeous. The scene just before they come up with their plan to avert Armageddon haunts me.)

10. The Arrangement – @writeonclara (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley try to get a handle on this sex thing. Non-explicit, hilarious, and unique! I can only assume the rating will probably be going up, which makes me sad because it’s hard to find nonexplicit fics that still deal with what sex brings to a relationship, but what’s written for now is well worth it.)

11. And After – @randomacts13 (T, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale work through their self-worth and have lots of flashbacks. The first one involves Crowley taking care of a seed that keeps dying and leaving another seed behind, which is not at all feeding into his self-hatred; the second has Crowley and Warlock gluing coins to the sidewalk; the third is about Aziraphale on a one-way flight to Complete Mental Breakdown if he doesn’t get some help for his anxiety and repressed emotions soon.)

12. The road to rapture has a lot of pit stops – emmagrant01 (E but only for the sixth chapter, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley have shared five kisses throughout history and one where they meant it. People like me who don’t like explicit material can skip Chapter 6 (or just read until they smooch) and go straight to the epilogue. The rest of it is amazing; every kiss is believable in context and has such good lead-up. Very romantic, very good.)

13. Round and Round the Garden – SanSanFanFan (G, the one where Brother Francis and Nanny Ashtoreth get up to some hanky-panky beneath a willow tree while Warlock sleeps in his pram. Just sweet and silly fluff.)

14. Flecks of Light and Dark – volunteerfd (T, the one where Aziraphale learns to deal with his emotions. Has a really beautiful recurring thing of Crowley and Aziraphale making up stories of who they’d be if they were human, and Aziraphale doing his best to do good and help even when Heaven ties his hands.)

15. Before the Water Rises – VitreousHumor (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale become friends while helping a village make rafts to escape the Flood. Has a lot of really cute moments and some pretty exquisite romantic tension.)

16. Beneath the Stars – @brooklynbabybucky (G, the one where Crowley asks Aziraphale to cut his hair. Just has some really lovely imagery and a sweet bonding moment.)

17. lit in the darkness – @toedenandbackagain (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale share a bed sometimes throughout history. Warnings for some sexual content in chapters 7 and 14, but each chapter has its own warnings in the description. Presents some beautiful bonding moments and the absolute finest pining known to man.)

SOUTH DOWNS

18. The Play’s the Thing – volunteerfd (G, the one where Aziraphale is cast in the local production of Hamlet and Crowley is trying his best to be supportive of his truly awful actor husband. Hilarious and light and absolutely a classic.)

19. Parsley, Thyme, Sage, Daffodils – @mostweakhamlets (NR, the one where Aziraphale has a cooking YouTube channel and Crowley is camera-shy. Tackles PTSD in a really thoughtful way and is Peak Soft Cottage Husbands aesthetic, it really packs in the most warm fuzzies in a small package.)

20. to carthage then i came – @lvslie (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale move to the South Downs and learn to work through their issues around being together and being their own people after cutting ties with Heaven and Hell. Poetic, poignant, the last chapter is a thing of absolute beauty. Very heavily symbolic, that one.)

21. A Better Place for Us to Be – @befuddledmackem (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale tour a particular cottage. Deeply emotional, the Absolute Best Real Estate Pr0n if you also secretly watch HGTV and weep, has completely ruined any future house-buying opportunity I might have because nothing will be this sweet and perfect.)

22. Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak – trieduntrue (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale move to the South Downs and very carefully orbit into something more like a relationship. Exquisite tension, beautifully-done pining and slow-burn, really fun bits of world building. M is for a sex scene at the very end but it’s easy to skip over, it’s small.)

23. reasons wretched and divine – @stammiviktor (T, the one where Crowley storms out after a fight and finds himself in an actual conversation with God. Highly emotional and a great look into Crowley’s head, both in how he feels about God and how he feels about Aziraphale.)

24. The Sprawl of Life – @dietraumerei (T and G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale settle into village life quite well. Has sex-positive asexual characters, which is fun (brief note about that: it’s not explicit, but the places it happens, there is clear leadup and it can get a bit intense, so take care of yourselves). Has touches of angst that balance beautifully with the fluff, lots of BAMF Aziraphale for the soul.)

25. Seashells and Fingerpainting – Vagabond (@waffleironbiddingwar) (T, and I recommend this one specifically from the series, can be read independently: the one where Gabriel is sent to the South Downs for a time out. This is quite possibly the best Gabriel character study I have ever seen; it’s tender and heartbreaking and somehow you find yourself rooting for Gabriel to figure out why he’s being punished despite yourself. All the warm fuzzies. All of them. Read the whole series, it’s great!)

POST-APOCALYPSE

26. Laugh When It Sinks In – @tenoko1 (G, the one where Crowley helps Aziraphale build a home in the bookshop flat. Another one that feeds right into my interior decorating itch. So sweet and uplifting, will absolutely make you feel proud of Aziraphale.)

27. Chosen and Unchosen – Bookwormgal (T, the one where the kids have to go save Aziraphale and Crowley from Heaven and Hell. Has some EXCELLENT Warlock characterization and some really good tension between him and Adam, and the angst is properly upsetting. A right good adventure romp that’s really starting to ramp up.)

28. Resonance – Macx (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale become something Else. Good world building, beautiful romance, and Gabriel getting told off. Love how Crowley and Aziraphale growing into their new roles is handled, and how Adam unexpectedly ties in at the end.)

29. Falling Heavenward – @kanna-ophelia (T, the one where Crowley unexpectedly has to win his angel back because of a really twisty deal with Heaven. This one is a pretty wild ride, but I would say the centerpiece is Fallen Gabriel, who becomes Asmodeus. It becomes a battle for Aziraphale’s heart, though Asmodeus isn’t in it for the feels so much as the revenge, obviously. Really interesting premise and something to read if rooting for Crowley is a way you like to spend your time.)

30. A Leisurely Stroll Down – Saturniidae (@Saturniiddae) (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale have to fight for their relationship. Has some sexual content that isn’t explicit, and gore that really sort of is. I have thrown things and cried a little at this one, but that was the price for reading while it was still updating. Absolutely gorgeous in every way. Also has God speaking through a household object and it’s hilarious.)

31. From God’s Perspective – Unfortunately (T, the one where God comes down personally to interfere in Her children’s business. The absolute best portrayal of God in any fic ever, really humanizes her in the best ways. I love how she interacts with her angel and demon children. It’s almost more of a character study of God than anything. And yes, the Sound of Music is sung.)

BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

32. Worth Knowing – summersage (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley discuss the Fall and manage Miltonian angel sex despite it. Has a take on how the Fall works that I was thinking about but couldn’t find words for until this fic, and it’s absolutely fantastic. The Miltonian angel sex is esoteric and weird and not at all erotic, but it is beautiful. The mortifying ordeal of being KNOWN indeed.)

33. Legendary Lovers; Your Hand in Mine – @tenoko1 (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale regroup in a hotel instead of his flat and have a bit of a knock-down-drag-out. Crowley is angry and scared and so in love he can’t stand it, and Aziraphale is practically going at light speed in confronting and knocking down his own barriers, and it’s highly emotionally charged and wonderful.)

AU/UA

34. Love of My Life – @ellewrites4 (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale get together very early and make it work all throughout history. Gorgeous romance, and the fallout from the Holy Water caper and the bandstand breakup are EXQUISITE. Peak emotional turmoil, sweet boundary negotiation, forgiveness and love and anxiety and fear—just delicious.)

35. True Love and High Adventure – @grifalinas (T, the one that’s a Princess Bride au. Absolutely on-point casting, wonderful writing style, the perfect escape fic for a little while. Incomplete but still worth the read.)

36. Inverse Omens – @amuseoffyre (T, the one where Aziraphale is a demon with a p0_rn shop and Crowley is an angel running a community center from a bombed-out church. Y’all recommended this to me on my demon!Aziraphale rating post, and it’s AMAZING. Perfect characterization and a wonderful retelling. Warning for Chapters 11 and 12, Aziraphale’s Nanny Ashtoreth messes with the Dowling parents in far more direct ways and there’s scenes of Mr. Dowling jerking it, so take care, friendos. Also Aziraphale makes the filthiest double entendres and it’s delightful. Also also Crowley needs all the hugs.)

37. A Blaze of Light – @wingedspirit (T, the one where Crowley is Raphael and he and Aziraphale make a Pact instead of an Arrangement. This one is a wild adventure, friends, and a riveting one. The Pact puts an interesting spin on their developing relationship, and by the time it gets to TV canon, it’s already off the rails in the best ways. Also Crowley has some pretty heavy depression that manifests in his former Archangel-level powers blowing up a bit, which is cool. Should be wrapping up soon and I’m pumped for it!)

38. it’s high time that you love me, cause you do it so well – mygalfriday (T, the one where Crowley can’t physically say the word “love” but can diddly dang well show it if he wants. Already super sweet but the confession scene at the end is just incredible.)

39. Hold the Line – sum_nemo (T, the one that’s a Pacific Rim AU. I adore PacRim, you guys, and this one is just *chef’s kiss*. Puts Crowley as Raleigh (lost his twin sister copilot) and Aziraphale as Mako and includes a pretty painful shared past between them, which is already simmering and delicious. Can’t wait to see where this one goes.)

40. The Truth Remains – @wanderingalicewrites (NR, the one where Crowley was Raphael, had a good relationship with his siblings, was in love with Aziraphale, and knew he was destined to Fall. Aziraphale is still in mourning for Raphael and Crowley is still working out the point of his existence, so there’s some very good pining and existential dread up in the mix. A highly interesting take on the situation and very, very good at punching you in the feels with the flashbacks to Heaven and how different things are now, especially with the other Archangels. LOL it just updated while I was writing this and I am UNDONE, I am in PAIN, the bandstand scene always hurts but NOT LIKE THIS. ALSO MORE ARCHANGEL FEELS, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN)

41. Everything Dark and Unseen – @enjambament (M, the one that’s a Psyche and Eros retelling. After the Fall but before Eden, Heaven and Hell need a truce, so they marry Crowley and Aziraphale to keep the peace in a symbolic sort of binding. A beautiful romance, an excellent action sequence, the cutest OC creatures, the best OC angels, and I wish there was a continuation of how canon progressed with this monumental change in their history bc I am THIRSTY for more. Rated M for a kinda-sorta sexy scene but there’s not really Efforts sooo…it’s more sensual than sexual? I guess? Either way, highly recommended.)

42. The Name of the Star is Wormwood – LusBeatha (T, the one where Crowley was Raphael and the Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil was a fly agaric mushroom. It is exactly as eccentric as it sounds, but presented in such a way that it actually makes sense. It jumps around in time, but the storyline taking place in the present is looking like Armageddon 2.0. Beautifully written, great take on canon.)

43. Sticks and Stones – @justkeeptrekkin (T, the one where Crowley takes on the guise of Casanova while trying to get over Aziraphale and Aziraphale shows up, whoops. GORGEOUS imagery, the most scrumptious pining, and if y’all appreciated the 2005 Pride and Prejudice dance scene, the one in here will about blow that one out of the water, if you can believe it. Knocked the breath right out of me.)

44. Yearning to Hold You Close – @guanin (T, the one where Aziraphale has a relationship with King Richard and asks Crowley to help save him, and there is a big sticky mess of feelings when they realize Richard and Crowley look almost exactly alike. In part inspired by David Tennant playing Richard II. A delicious, delicious emotional quandary where Crowley and Richard both wonder if Aziraphale only loves them because they look like each other, and Aziraphale doesn’t know how to say what he feels. Very sweet, very emotionally fraught.)

SOFT

45. Just This Once – @julia-writes-fanfic (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale kiss in the 90s and it’s amazing. The drunk 90s kiss is already good, but them revisiting it sober in 2010 makes both even better.)

46. A Sky Full of Stars – @kedreeva (G, the one where Aziraphale takes Crowley someplace where they can see the cosmos. The first GOmens fic I ever bookmarked, so I felt like including it, because it’s unbelievably sweet and has amazing visuals.)

47. The Serpent and the Seagull – @ineffably-good (G and T, the series where Aziraphale misses Crowley so he gets a little pet snake. Frederick the snake is among the best of the GOmens OCs, hilarious and foul-mouthed and once Crowley starts being able to understand him, it only gets better. Frederick likes helping his pets work their problems out so they’ll leave him alone to sleep. It’s extremely cute.)

48. The Discerning Black Swan – @lwtis (T, the one where Crowley is definitely not projecting on a black swan desperately trying to court a white mute swan in St James’ Park. I love how Crowley interfaces with his emotional problems through the swan, and the visual of the two swans is gorgeous.)

49. What A Demon Dreams – @whatawriterwields (G, the one where Crowley has some weird dreams, dude. I love the symbolism and the imagery in this one, it’s really vivid. It’s hard to pull off a concept like this so I respect how the author is able to do it and make it work.)

TOUCH STARVED/WINGS/BODY WORSHIP

50. Sunlight – crorvid (M, the one where Aziraphale is a touch-starved angel. Doesn’t deserve the M rating, in my opinion, but Aziraphale does feel the touching during their makeouts very intensely and it’s incredibly satisfying.)

51. The Curious Attractiveness of Others – @giddygeek (T, the one where Crowley finally gets to groom Aziraphale’s wings and Aziraphale gets to show Crowley how tender that can be. Another one with some great world building tucked into the corners, and emotionally satisfying grooming.)

52. Broken Wings – werebear (@werebeary) (T and M, the series where wing grooming is incredibly intimate and I got the vapors from the tenderness. Also the first time I saw anything about preen glands. The second one is rated M because the preening gets a bit…intense. Not sexual, exactly, but it’s close. Very passionate.)

53. Birthmark – Linebreaker (G, the one where Crowley has a scar on his lower back and a sad story to go with it. This one needs a bit of a harder rating, imo, and there’s one line that’s a bit Much, but otherwise it’s a sad and beautiful look at a potential reason why Crowley hates the fourteenth century so much. Lots of Crowley body worship packed into few words, very satisfying.)

54. They Are A Pale Picture of You – @ineffablefool (T, the one where they go for a walk during winter and things are just Soft. Ineffablefool has a wealth of body-positive asexual GOmens fics, but I think I like this one best, it’s sweet and adorable and some jerk who insults Aziraphale’s weight rightly gets the worst day of his life. Also Crowley compares Aziraphale in his winter wear to a plump little bird and it’s cute imagery.)

BONUS

55. Ineffable Bureaucracy Drabbles – Shift7 (T, the series of short fics where Gabriel and Beelzebub are kinda-sorta falling into friendship and being very judicious about it. Lots of paperwork, very orderly.)

56. Ineffable Bureaucracy – @eshnoazot (T and G, a series of longer fics where Gabriel and Beelzebub are navigating a careful arrangement of their own. Still lots of paperwork, of course, but there’s also emotional friction and conflict resolution. Excellent characterizations. Wednesday night Thai and Friendship night is a+++++. Gabriel deffo called a board meeting to talk about his feelings.)

57. A Bentley Sang in Berkeley Square – CastielHamilton (G, the one where the Bentley is sentient and a good, good girl. She is doing her best and I love her. Basically the series from her point of view.)

58. Fairest and Fallen – VitreousHumor (T, the series where Beelzebub and Gabriel encounter each other a few times and Gabriel tries his best to remember their shared pre-Fall history. Poignant, sad, and beautiful.)

59. Observer Effect – SquarePudding (T, the series where the Grigori in charge of recording Aziraphale’s Earthly movements starts to ship him and Crowley and records their romance. The Grigori, Rezathaniel, is a precious baby who needs to develop a better palate outside of “greasy literal garbage” and has 0 chill when it comes to their ship. They’re kind of like a celebrity blogger at this point but watching their character growth in the first story is very sweet.)

60. Soul of Vellum, Heart of Chrome – @29-pieces (G, the one where the Bentley and the Bookshop are sentient and very protective of their owners. This one is going to KILL ME with the plot I wasn’t expecting—Heaven and Hell are hunting Aziraphale and Crowley down again, so the Bentley and the Bookshop do their best to help. They’re doing so good and I’m so proud of them, it’s not their fault things went a bit south. Precious beans. Good, good things.)

61. Real Fire and Brimstone Stuff – @jessikast (G, the one where college-age Warlock helps accidentally summon his Nanny and a lot of things start to make sense. A very sweet story about Warlock getting closure and getting back in touch with Crowley and Aziraphale through the weirdest means possible.)

H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

62. Broken Hallelujah – @atlantis-is-burning (T, the one where Hastur comes to kill Aziraphale and Crowley and it’s ugly, folks. It is kinda gory and it is injury-ridden and painful, very touch-and-go for a bit. It ends well, though, and Hastur gets his, which is the Best. Tore me up one side and down the other in all the best ways.)

63. Fall Here – @marbledwings (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley are easing into a relationship in fits and starts, and then Crowley gets snatched. This one was AGONIZING to wait for it to update, so be glad it’s complete, because it gets pretty dark for a while. Be warned of torture, though it’s mostly implied and it’s the aftermath that’s dealt with most. It absolutely sticks the landing at the end, and has a great characterization of Michael.)

64. how deep the sand – Handful_of_Silence (G, the series where Aziraphale is trapped in a glass bubble in a wizard’s basement for fifty years and the ensuing aftermath. Feels mostly book-verse, but there are some cues from the show. Intense and realistic and emotional and heavy, drags you through the darkness and you appreciate the light all the more for it. A beautiful story.)

65. you taught me how to love, (it’s me who taught you how to stop) – @clankclunk (G, or the one where Aziraphale comes to find out that you can’t just rush into a relationship after six thousand years of repression. This one is absolutely murdering me. The angst is real. The hurt is real. I’m hoping the fluff and comfort promised in the tags is coming soon because WOW. Has a fantastically haunting view of what happens to angels, who are highly emotive beings, when they fall into depression. And Crowley’s adverse reactions to praise and love are so realistic and painful. Ouch.)

#good omens #good omens fic recs #mega gomens fic rec list #guys i'm so tired but it's so worth it #i love all of these #can't wait to rec more later

492 notes · View notes

chaoticdean · 4 years

Text

What is there missing from me, that I see in you?

For week 8 — prompt: hope

Set in-between the end of season 12 and the beginning of season 13, Cas has been killed by Lucifer and awakes in the Empty.

~ 1.9K, angst and feels (because I like to suffer miserably)

Host : @bend-me-shape-me, @helianthus21 & @pray4jensen

READ ON AO3

The first thing Cas finds out is that he doesn’t feel a single thing.

Like, sure, he feels lost and for the most part, confused. Everything around him is pitch black, he’s alone in what seems like an immensity of nothing.

But he doesn’t feel any physical sensation. He isn’t cold, or hot. His head doesn’t hurt like it has been for the most part of this last year since he became this mixture of beat-up angel/somewhat human on certain aspects. He doesn’t sweat. He pinches himself and doesn’t feel a single shit. And it makes him feel completely distressed.

What the hell did he get himself into this time?

It used to make him laugh grudgingly. Castiel, fallen Angel of the Lord, still somewhat angel-y but not enough to not break a sweat while following the brothers on a hunt, not enough not to request a cheeseburger at the diner every now and then, not enough to pass on a good night sleep every week.

He used to despise emotions. That’s how he was raised, or rather how he was trained. Emotions are inherently human, Castiel. We are not allowed to feel. He could almost still hear the voice in his head, telling him —

But since he descended onto Hell to recover the Righteous Man, since he stared into Dean’s soul to rebuild him and bring him back to the face of the Earth, since this last decade of running around with the Winchesters by his side, Castiel has felt more than he ever thought he’d encountered.

A whirlwind of emotions suddenly overcomes him as he tries and remembers what happened before he ended up here.

Jack being birthed into the world.

Kelly, up in heaven.

Apocalypse World, Crowley killing himself for the greater good (that was a twist), trapping Lucifer.

Lucifer sliding his angel blade across Castiel’s body, as he was coming back to their world facing the Winchester brothers.

The look on Sam and Dean’s faces.

Dean.

The first emotion Castiel had ever felt was curiosity. He wasn’t used to humanity or any of their customs. So whenever he came down on Earth, he’d observed them to try and get a grasp at why humans did things the way they did.

When he first met Sam and Dean, it took him a long while to get used to the way they acted, behaved, or even talked. The fact that Castiel didn’t seem to get any of the references they made usually got them to crack up. Sometimes he still gets lost into their bickering, not fully understanding the reason why anyone would think having an argument over pineapple on pizza at 11 pm would be worth the trouble but after more than a decade with the two grown-men, knowing better than inserting himself into that said argument.

But curiosity always got the best of him. From trying to understand why Dean needed his 4 hours of sleep, to what made Led Zeppelin IV the best album on earth (that’s a wild assumption, but Castiel was willing to hear the hunter’s arguments on that matter).

Then came guilt. It was a peculiar feeling, mixed sensations of shame, bitterness, and sadness, with a hint of anger. Guilt gave Castiel a lot to think about, coming to grip with all these new feelings that he hadn’t experienced for thousands of years.

He felt guilty because heaven made him choose. It was either them or the Winchesters. And at first, he did chose the angels. His family. The only thing he’d ever known. But then masks crumbled and kingdoms fell, and Castiel realized his whole life as a celestial being might have been a big fat lie.

And so he chose humanity. He chose Sam and Dean. He chose them over his own family, and although things this last decade have been challenging, to say the least, he doesn’t regret any of it. Not anymore.

Resentment was a weird feeling to come across. Once again, it mixed other feelings such as anger, sadness, betrayal. But resentment came from a weird place where you’d bottle up this mixture of feelings for a certain amount of time before it actually sweats through the pores of your skin.

Before he first became human, Castiel had never felt resentment. But then the angels fell, Metatron stole his grace, and Cas was left alone on Earth with his new-found humanity. Heartbroken and ashamed, and resentful because no one seemed to care about him anymore. Dean kicked him out of the bunker — he’d later found out why, and although he now understood the reason behind this decision, it doesn’t mean it still stung his heart thinking about it. The man he had sacrificed everything for didn’t want him around. And weirdly enough, at that time, Castiel kind of understood. After all, why would anyone want to be associated with the one who had caused his entire community to fall, his Home to crumble?

The emotions are overflowing him now, which isn’t good. He needs to get it together, figure out a way to get out of here and get back to Earth, to the bunker, to the Winchesters, to Dean.

Castiel sits up and takes his hands to his cheeks, resting his face in the comfort of his palms. They are warm and weirdly welcoming. He closes his eyes, trying to come to grasp with the situation.

No matter what he does, his thoughts always take him back to a familiar, dirty blond, freckled hunter.

Dean had been a lighthouse in the darkness of his numerous battles for over a decade. Someone he’d rushed to after a fight, someone he’d follow into any battle. And now, he was gone. Or rather, Castiel was lost in emptiness, with no way to know if he’d ever return. And that leaves him with bitterness at the bottom of his throat.

If he only had the courage to speak up (or as Dean would say, “to grow a pair and man up”), maybe things would’ve been different, and he wouldn’t be left alone with his doubts and regrets for what seems like an eternity already.

If he had told Dean how he felt every time he looked into his eyes, would it have changed anything? Would things be different if he had stay instead of leaving every time it became too much being locked up in the bunker with the man he was in love with?

Yes, Castiel was in love with Dean Winchester. Deeply, completely, irrevocably, stupidity in love with his entire being.

And it turns out love is a very complicated feeling, and a very challenging emotion to go through. Perhaps the most challenging of all.

Of course, he didn’t realize right away. When he first met Dean, Cas was an entirely different character — he was ruthless, determined, even competitive at the time. Yet he fell for Dean in an entirely unexpected way, without even realizing it at first.

He fell for the cocky bastard who acted like he didn’t trust him but still prayed for him to come down whenever he needed him. He fell for the man who used sarcasm as a parachute for his low self-esteem and ate like cholesterol wasn’t even a real thing. He fell for the man who would rather sacrifice himself so that his loved one could live.

Castiel was in love with Dean Winchester since the very first time he laid eyes on him, and yet here he was, decades later, stuck in a horizon of nothing, lamenting over his biggest failure of them all: never telling him.

Because let’s face it, there was no way Dean would ever return his feelings. Castiel was a brother to the hunter, nothing more. And he never did anything to prove him wrong either. So Cas had locked his feeling deep inside of him and enjoyed every little snippet of joy he could share with the man. Most of all, he tried to convince himself that this was good, that he didn’t need to know, that this was enough.

Bullshit.

It was not.

And it took the angel being locked up in some sort of parallel pitch black dimension of nothing to realize how full of shit he had been.

Sinking further into his own hands, Castiel let a small whimper escape from his throat, pain clinging to his heart like a thousand needles poking at his sorrow.

Pain. Pain was the most common feeling he’d experienced of them all. It appeared in so many ways, sometimes mixed with other feelings, sometimes only physical.

It might have been the worst of them all, too. Because pain never seemed to go away. It always stayed right there, at the back of his head, or hooked to his sleeves, waiting for an opportunity to come down on him and destroy him for a little while.

His worst memories were all associated with this feeling. The pain of being betrayed by his own kind. The pain of being left alone. The pain of arguing with Sam and Dean. The pain of seeing the disappointment on Dean’s face. The pain of killing his own kind. The pain of losing those he loved.

The pain of losing Sam and Dean.

Dean.

Castiel brings his knees to his face, resting over them as he slowly drifts into despair. He needs to go back. He needs to find his way back to Earth. He needs to tell him. Suddenly, all that matters to him is to get the hell out of here and scream at the whole world to let them know how it feels.

How it feels when he catches Dean smiling, bumping his fingers in sync with the music on the wheel while riding shotgun in the Impala after they finished a hunt.

How it feels when he hears Dean’s warm laugh tearing the bunker’s silence apart after they go home and share dinner together.

How it feels when they understand each other without using any words because that’s a thing they’ve developed over the years.

How it feels when Dean wants to share time with him, watching a movie he invariably ends up sleeping in front of after half an hour.

How it feels when Castiel watches him sleep, studying the edges of his face, gazing at how peaceful he seems whenever they’re in the comfort of their home.

A burst of hope suddenly overcomes the angel, causing him to open in his eyes again.

There’s no way he’ll stays stuck in here, wherever that may be. He needs to go back, he demands to go back.

He refuses to stay cuddled up in nothing, stuck with despair and sorrow, buried in regrets. Is this really how the story of “Castiel, Angel of the Lord” is supposed to end?

So he gets up. He screams. In the name of Hope. Because he chooses to believe that his story isn’t over. Because he chooses to believe that hope is bigger than any of the other feelings that are trapped inside of him.

Hope and love are the most powerful forces on the planet, he thinks.

And eventually, the Empty awakes.

He’s coming home.

(If you enjoy reading this, please consider reblogging/liking, and leaving kudos on AO3!)

#reposting cause it got lost in the void #spnstayathome #monday 8: hope #Castiel in the empty #Castiel #Dean Winchester #Destiel #Deancas #Destiel fic #destiel ficlet #Dean Winchester/Castiel #Supernatural #SPN #writer of destiel #ao3 #jus writes: spnstayathome #jus writes

33 notes · View notes

ambivalentman · 3 years

Text

DIGGING UP THE MARROW (2014)

Butt-Numb-a-Thon, at least until 2017, was an Austin institution. The 24-hour movie marathon, held at the Alamo Drafthouse, was established in 1999 by Ain’t-It-Cool News creator and noted sexual miscreant, Harry Knowles, for the most narcissistic of purposes: as a birthday party. Despite this, the invite-only film festival had hosted a number of highly-coveted world premiere screenings, including: The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Magnolia, Knocked Up, V for Vendetta, 300, Kingsman: The Secret Service, Chicago, Dreamgirls, and The Passion of the Christ.

Adam Green, the horror filmmaker best known for the slasher series Hatchet, premiered his thriller Frozen at BNAT before it wowed Sundance. By 2013, Green was an established filmmaker, and he had a film he was just dying to audience test—a strange genre hybrid called Digging Up the Marrow. After running the rough cut by some of his more critical friends in the filmmaking community, Green sent the film to Knowles for consideration.

Knowles jumped on the film after watching the cut, which was little more than edited dailies that only included temporary sound and score, and zero visual effects work. Green was stoked. The audience at BNAT was not a typical one; it was a cross-section of the film critic community. Some were genre junkies, others not so much. If he was to finish this film, he wanted their blessing. And Knowles gave him the best opportunity, slotting Digging Up the Marrow at 6am. If the film played well, Green would know it wasn’t hype—that feeling would be in short supply by 6am after a night including the world premieres of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and The Wolf of Wall Street.

Any filmmaker would have been amped and nervous to have their film play for the first time at BNAT. However, Green was especially nervous. Digging Up the Marrow wasn’t any film to him; it was a personal project, one in which he had more than money and time and sweat invested.

The origin of Marrow dates back to 2010, shortly after Frozen’s premiere at Sundance. The film’s reception had his team ready to start a new project. They wanted to do something low-budget and very indie. The idea that eventually turned into Marrow arrived as a curious package from a die-hard fan. In it, this fan had curated a bunch of documents, photos, and maps to prove to Green that Victor Crowley, the slasher killer of Hatchet, was a real person, and that Hatchet had gotten his story all wrong. The maps and photos of swamps detailed all sorts of errors within the movie. Normal filmmakers might be terrified by this level of obsession, but not Green. He was inspired by the level of commitment and suggested heading to the swamplands with a skeleton crew to document this fan taking them on a tour to prove the “truth” about Crowley. As cool as the idea sounded, Green’s partners changed his mind by pointing out that with Hatchet II on the way in seven months, it might not be a good idea putting additional content on the market. Besides, who the hell knew if this fan was only trolling them or was a bona fide looney who might leave their bodies in a swamp, Crowley-style.

So, Green abandoned the idea. It would resurface about a week later as he flipped through a pamphlet given to him by a fan during a long day of signing autographs at a Los Angeles Fangoria convention. The fan hadn’t shared his name, but as Green looked over the pamphlet, the fan’s identity dawned on him. The pamphlet was for an art exhibit called lDigging Up the Marrow,” by acclaimed horror artist Alex Pardee. Fireworks went off once he realized the fan who gave it to him was Pardee himself! Pardee had built a reputation for creating horrific storytelling art exhibits. In “Marrow,” Pardee is commissioned by a Boston police detective named William Dekker to paint the real monsters he claimed to see while on the job. Green wanted to adapt this idea, but with a twist that in addition to Pardee, he would also be asked to capture the monsters on film. After meeting with Pardee, Green wrote the script within 3 months, and the film was ready to begin production.

Green told the expectant horror press that he was making an “art documentary” which made them immediately seek other stories for clickbait. He cast all the actors to feature as themselves, except for veteran character actor, Ray Wise. Wise had reached out to him on the strength of Green’s segment in a film anthology called Chillerama, wanting to work with him. After showing Wise the script, the actor signed up to play Dekker. The film was shot in Green’s offices, his editor’s basement, and on the property of a family in Santa Clarita who almost didn’t agree to let the production use their land for a cemetery set until the owner learned Green had directed Frozen. The decision was made early to create all of the monsters as practical effects, sculpting directly from Pardee’s art. Not exactly an easy process, namely because of the nature of Pardee’s art, which doesn’t adhere to the conventions of basic anatomy. Pardee put it like this: “I like imagining things I haven’t seen. If it’s a shape, if it’s a color, if it’s a tooth, if it’s a type of hand, if it’s a monster, if it’s a car . . . I like the way things shouldn’t be. I think that’s where the inspiration draws from. How can I make this . . . not.”

The production of Digging Up the Marrow went as well as anyone could have hoped. But things took a turn for the worst as post-production ramped up. Three months into the finishing process of the movie, one of the actors—and one of Green’s best friends—Dave Brockie, died of a heroin overdose. Brockie was best known as Oderus Urungus, the insane lead singer of heavy metal band GWAR. Devastated, Green had to be talked out of removing the footage of Brockie, which showed the singer in full GWAR costume, shouting “I am a monster, I’ve always been a monster, and after I’m dead I’ll be a dead monster!” Perfect for the movie, but not for Green’s heart. The thought of leaving the moment in wrecked him, but eventually he left it, if only for the sake of Brockie’s fanbase, whom he thought deserved to see Brockie’s final screen performance.

However, Brockie’s death was only the opening salvo. Three weeks after his death, Green’s wife filed for divorce and the couple separated. Like Brockie, she was also in the film, sharing a bed with Green and even sharing an on-screen kiss. Removing her was also the first thing on Green’s mind, but his team again had to stop him because of what losing her four minutes of screen time would do to their budget and story.

So Green suffered the heartache of editing and directing post-production by watching images of his dead friend and ex-wife over and over as his team constructed a rough cut of the film. He believed in the movie, though, and wanted to finish it. His filmmaking friends thought he was on to something with this one, too, and BNAT was the final hurdle.

Digging Up the Marrow was well-received by the BNAT audience, despite its 6am showtime. After the screening, Green knew he had something once he overheard people theorizing about his movie during the intermission. They were tossing out ideas about the Marrow, and speculating about Dekker’s life. This was the green light he needed.

Green finished Digging Up the Marrow and in late 2014 decided to circumvent the problems with film distributors—namely that they seldom turn a profit on indie features—by taking the movie on the road. Similar to Kevin Smith’s tour of Red State in 2011, Green and Pardee took the movie and Pardee’s art exhibit to five cities—Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston, New York, and Austin. Press coverage was strong and audience reception overwhelmingly positive. The film turned a profit, and eventually Green put it to rest and moved on with his life.

Digging Up the Marrow is the best kind of indie film—it comes from something real, takes the energies of a ragtag crew of obsessives, and ultimately finds its audience among similar obsessives. Even if your take on the film is negative, Adam Green’s work is inspiring, if only for how he got it from script to a 6am screening for a bunch of numb butts.

#digging up the marrow #Adam Green #Alex Pardee #Horror Art #Horror Film #Indie Horror #Ray Wise #BNAT

4 notes · View notes

silverynight · 4 years

Text

The Archangel and the succubus

Part II

Part I Part 1.5

There are a few customers in his bakery that day; Azira enjoys watching them stare at every single of the pastries with hunger.

No matter what Beelzebub says, Azirafell knows he'd be an excellent gluttony demon. In fact, he's sure he is as he keeps looking at the humans buying more cookies and pastries than they could eat in one day.

Most of them walk away quickly, at least as soon as they choose something to eat and suddenly there's just one man left, still wandering around the bakery.

Azira leaves the counter and with a smirk on his face decides to help the man choose; perhaps he could make him buy a cake and a box of cookies.

"May I–"

"Actually... I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me?" The man interrupts the demon, blushing a little bit when Azira looks at him, surprised.

He's been purposely ignoring his demon senses for a while now, it takes him a couple of seconds to notice the human's scent.

Lust.

The man wants to have sex with him and the demon wonders if he should take the opportunity and finally do the thing he's supposed to do.

Maybe after doing it he wouldn't feel so confused when the other sex demons decide to visit his bakery in order to ask him for advice. Because somehow he's known as one of the best succubus of Hell for something is not at all true.

It makes him chuckle every time he remembers the rumors, he even used to think Crowley would find it funny as well, but perhaps it'd make him mad to know demons think Azirafell has him wrapped around his finger.

It's ridiculous.

Why would an Archangel want to be with a demon? Especially one like Azira?

"Of course," he finds himself saying and watches as the man's eyes sparkle with hope.

"Great, I'll wait for–"

Crowley storms in the bakery at that precise moment; his wings are completely hidden this time, although the demon notices how mad the Archangel looks. For a moment Azirafell thinks he's finally heard about what the other demons say about him and is angry because of that.

But then he glares at the human next to Azira and miracles him away.

"Hey!" Azirafell narrows his eyes. "What did you do to him?"

"He's at home, on his bed... alone," the Archangel says irritated. "What were you trying to do? Were you going to sleep with him?"

"I'm a succubus! That's what I'm supposed to do!"

After seeing Azira cross his arms in front of his chest, Crowley's anger vanishes immediately; he looks like he's sorry.

"But you said you didn't want to... do that," the Archangel's pink shades slide a little bit down his nose as he rubs the back of his neck nervously.

"I just want to know how it feels," the demon mumbles, noticing his irritation has disappeared as well.

"You can try with me," Crowley says after a long silence; he's approached the demon until they're a few inches apart from each other. "We both have mortal bodies, we can have sex."

The demon feels flustered; his human heart is beating furiously inside his chest and he's not sure if the body is suddenly malfunctioning or it's something else.

He'd like the idea. But it's too risky; demons are spreading dangerous rumors about the Archangel already.

"You could fall," he protests, feeling vulnerable and small. He doesn't like it.

"It's not that easy for an angel to fall these days, I'll be fine," Crowley assures.

"No," the demon says and the Archangel looks disappointedly at him, almost like he's heartbroken. "I don't think it's a good idea, Raphael."

Azira observes with confusion as Crowley grimaces at the sound of his real name.

"Why?"

"Because they're saying bad things about you already," the demon tells him and then proceeds to blurt out everything he's heard from the other demons.

By the time he finishes, Crowley has turned bright red.

"What if that was... true?"

Azirafell chuckles, because he refuses to believe it.

"That's ridiculous," he comments, ignoring the way the Archangel grimaces, almost like he's in pain, like the words are hurting him somehow. "You know what? I'm hungry, let's go eat something."

Demons do not experience hunger; they both know that and still Crowley doesn't make any comments about it and just accepts the change of topic.

Just as they leave the bakery and Azira allows the Archangel to take his hand, he realizes something has changed between them.

Although he's not sure what it means.

***

read even more about these two on my Patreon.

Kofi / Patreon

#reverse omens #ineffable husbands #angel crowley #demon aziraphale #good omens #aziraphale #crowley

17 notes · View notes

crashdevlin · 4 years

Text

A River in Egypt 14- Denial

It’s Only Natural Masterlist A River in Egypt Masterlist

Author’s Note: A series of snapshots from the It’s Only Natural universe, all told from Sam’s POV.

Summary: After losing Dean in the fight with Amara, Sam and Y/n are kidnapped by the British Men of Letters and tortured. Sam seizes the opportunity to get what he's wanted for years.

Pairing: Sam x Sister!reader

Word count: 4663

Story Warnings: torture, pain, incest (sister wincest), exhibitionism, 18+ HERE BE SEX! DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!!, oral sex (fem rec), unprotected sex, creampie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hate this. I hate that I can’t devote all of my time to finding Y/n. I hate that Dean is all caught up in Amara and I hate that Y/n ran away again and I hate that...I kissed her. I kissed her and then she ran away. I hate that I just let her leave. I should have talked to her. I should have apologized for kissing her. I should-

I call her again. She doesn’t answer. Months of not answering. I hate this.

Dean keeps snarking at me about calling her, discouraging me from trying to find her. If he would just shut up and let me! Let me find her, let me bring her home! Let me apologize for being half the reason she left. Well, not half. Dean was more than half. Dean was 90%. Dean was more than that, even, because then there’s the whole thing where he knocked her up! On purpose! And then abandoned her!

Ya know...if she wasn’t a Winchester...if she wasn’t the strongest of us, I’d have been worried she might do something stupid. But she has never been the type to do that stupid thing. She’s the type to run off to get her head straight. She’s the type to come home eventually. She never has been able to stay away from us for too long.

But she seems determined to stay gone this time and all my searching isn’t finding and I hate that Dean was right that I wouldn’t be able to find her. Even when we lose Cas and Dean starts helping me, we still can’t find her. She does have amazing skills. Why don’t we lean on them more often instead of leaning on her emotionally, leaning on her physically?

We are the shittiest brothers ever.

And of course, it’s Chuck that brings her home. I couldn’t find her, again , and a higher power brings her home. Dean starts in on Chuck because of course he needs to air his damn grievances and Y/n only takes issue with Chuck’s qualifications of our misery. She gets up to make herself a drink and I follow her. She looks good, considering the fact that it’s been almost a year since I’ve seen her...and considering she’s upset.

I put my hand on her back to comfort her and, of course, Dean has to put his two cents in about that. “You should keep your hands to yourself,” he says as he sets a beer on the Map Table in front of me and I look up at him. He’s not angry. If it weren’t for Amara, he’d be furious that I touched her. “Y/n. She’s probably not in a good place for that.”

“How would you know?” I snap at him. He hasn’t even talked to her. He sits down next to me and takes a drink of his beer.

“Look, I’m just sayin’, Sam...it’s been a good eleven months or so since you’ve seen her, maybe you should ease into trying to replace me,” he reasons.

Replace him? As what, the brother forcing a baby on her? “I’m not trying to replace you, Dean.” I pick up the beer. “Unlike you, I’m just caring for her.”

“Caring for her doesn’t require touching her at every opportunity,” Dean says, shaking his head. I look at the tabletop and bite the inside of my lip. It's not my fault. I just wanted to comfort her. “We care about each other and we barely touch unless one of us is dying.”

I roll my eyes. It's like he doesn't even realize how upset she was back there. Of course, he doesn't know, does he? The losses that Chuck said were necessary...what he lost and he doesn't even know. "That's...not true, Dean. We touch each other all the time...and Y/n was upset, okay? What Chuck was saying was-"

“Dude, come on, you were feeling her up in your feminist way.” Why does he say that like it’s an insult? “Shut up. Don’t think I forgot you making out with her the night before she left, and I didn’t forget the collar either.” The collar. It took me a while to remember the collar. Guess I’ve been jealous of Dean’s connection with Y/n for a lot longer than we were using her to combat the Mark. I take a drink of my beer and clear my throat.

“Look. For Y/n’s good, she should probably not start anything else with her brother, ya know? Can you imagine how bad things coulda gone if she’d stayed with me?” Yeah, Dean, I can. “She’s better off with someone outside of our family.”

I scoff and shake my head. “What, you’re actually gonna let her be with someone without forcing them out of her life?”

Dean sighs and makes a clicking noise. “Yeah, I deserve that...and I got no good excuse for all the guys I blocked from her, but that’s not what I’m doing here.” He leans back in his chair and looks at me. “Look, we both know that what I did to her is...inexcusable, right? We both know I should never have touched her and it’s sick that I wanted to for so long. Just like we both know it’s sick that you want to.”

How dare he judge me? After everything he did? It doesn’t matter if I want it, I’ve never done anything other than kiss her. Even when I didn’t have a fucking soul, all I did was put a collar on her. He raped her and I might have gotten off on it but-

“It’s the best thing, for both of you, for you to go jack it to some of that porn you think no one knows you have and stop thinking about Y/n.”

I roll my eyes and shake my head. Why does he always bring up me masturbating? “Not everything is about sex, Dean. I’m just trying to be there for her. That’s all.”

“Okay, Sammy,” he says like he doesn’t believe me. “Keep it that way. S’all I’m sayin’.”

There’s a million miles of subtext in that.

But at least she’s back. That’s the important part. The next morning, I go to check on her and talk to her about Grandma Millie. I end up sitting next to her on her bed as she tells me about the postcards that Dad used to send his mom, how he signed them with ‘Johnny’. And then she leans her head against my shoulder. It’s so nice. I missed her so much over the past year. I’m so happy to have her here where I can feel her and smell the roses on her hair.

“I’m tired, Sammy. I haven’t been home a day and I’m exhausted,” she admits.

“Have you talked to Dean?” I ask. Not that talking to him is gonna change anything.

“He said he’s sorry. He doesn’t even know what he’s sorry for.”

Of course not. I didn’t tell him what he needed to be sorry for...and I’m guessing neither has she. “You haven’t told him about the baby, have you?”

“It’s not like he would care,” she snaps.

With Amara still alive that’s probably right, but I say, “You don’t know that,” to make her feel a bit better.

“It’s not...I only...it was really early first trimester, Sam. I couldn’t have been more than six weeks. I...I only took the test right after Charlie’s funeral and...the Stynes…” She clears her throat and pulls away from me to look in my eyes. Her eyes are all watery and sad. “I don’t know why it hurts so much.”

She’s been hurting over this for a year and she’s been beating herself up for how she feels, too? “Because you created life, Y/n, and that was taken from you. It’s allowed to hurt.” I reach out and run the back of my knuckles down her cheek. I just wanna make her feel better. “ You’re allowed to hurt.”

I wanna kiss her, but the thought has barely crossed my mind to start leaning in when she goes stiff and pulls away. “Th-thank you, Sammy.”

I rub my hands together as I stand. Yeah, probably wouldn’t be a good idea. Maybe Dean’s right. Probably Dean’s right. “You know, i-if you need anything, I’m here,” I tell her and she nods so I just leave. It’s a bad idea to try to get close to her right now. It’s a bad idea.

Especially since she seems determined to sacrifice herself. Which, thankfully, she fails at. Every part of our plan to take down the Darkness fails. So we have to come up with another option...which puts Dean on the chopping block. This seems like it’s the...the last time. The end. Especially when Dean kisses Y/n right there in front of Cas, Crowley, and Rowena.

“Sam, Y/n, I’m so sorry,” Cas says as we enter the bunker. “If you want to talk...I’m here if either of you need anything.”

“Hello, hello,” a happy British voice calls out across the War Room. A well-dressed woman slams her hand into a banishing sigil on the wall, sending Cas away. Y/n and I call his name and reach for our pistols but the woman raises a gun before we can. “Don’t. Y/n and Sam Winchester. Toni Bevell,” she introduces. “Men of Letters, London Chapterhouse.” What? There’s still Men of Letters?

“Oh you won’t have heard of me...us. We’re very traditional. Keep out of the way, keep to our studies.”

“You, um…” I look over at Y/n, who looks just as confused as I feel, then look back to the intruder and shake my head. “What?”

“They sent me to take you in.”

“To take us in?” Y/n asks.

“Assuming the world didn’t end, and...yay!” she says. I am not in the mood for this shit.

“Look, lady,” I start, stepping toward her.

“We’ve been watching you, Sam. What you’ve done, the damage you’ve caused...archangels, Leviathans, the Darkness, and now, well...the old men have decided enough’s enough. I mean, let’s face it. You’re just jumped-up hunters playing with things you don’t understand and doing more harm than good.” I almost growl at that. We didn’t ask for the archangels or the Leviathans or the damn Darkness. We didn’t even ask to be hunters. “Now, where’s Dean?” she finishes.

“Dead,” I answer, focusing on my anger so that she doesn’t see the sadness in my face. “Listen, lady, I don’t know who the hell you are or what the hell you want-” I start advancing on her again.

“Stop,” she demands, but I don’t listen.

“Put the gun down,” I snap.

“I said stop,” she reminds me.

“We all know you’re not gonna pull the trigger,” I say, but she does. Y/n screams when the bitch’s gun goes off, bullet impacting my thigh. I hit the floor, Y/n drops next to me to put pressure on me.

“I’m going to retrieve something to use as a tourniquet,” the intruder says to Y/n as she tucks her gun into a holder on her hip. “I assume you wish Sam to survive. Don’t try anything stupid.”

“You bitch,” Y/n growls at her.

“Oh, you’ll be needing a gag too, then.” She starts to walk away as I take deep breaths to keep my pain level down. “Bloody hunters.”

“You’re gonna be okay, Sammy,” Y/n whispers.

I fucking hope so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A cattle prod wakes me up. Y/n and I are bound to wooden chairs, hands cuffed behind our backs, ankles cuffed to the chair legs. I look over at Y/n to make sure she’s in better shape than me before I look around the room. We’re in a storm cellar. Nothing unique in Kansas.

“Be a good boy,” the woman with the cattle prod says as Toni Bevell walks down the stairs.

“You,” I bite out, pulling at my restraints.

She sits down in a chair across the cellar from us and flips open a notebook, taking the cap off of a fancy pen. “Now, Y/n, Sam...let’s begin.”

“Toni Bevell, London Chapterhouse.” Bitch. Stupid British cunt. Broke into my home, shot me, knocked me and my sister out.

“That’s right.”

“So, you’re what. You’re English Men of Letters?” Y/n asks.

“British,” Toni corrects.

“Right. Big distinction,” Y/n says rolling her eyes.

“You would think that you, the smarter Winchesters, would care about that difference.”

“Well, you don’t sound Welsh, so…” Y/n is such a snarky bitch. I love her.

“Where are we?” I ask.

“Does it matter?” she taunts me.

“Just wondering how far we’re gonna have to walk back to town after we kill you,” I answer. I nod at the woman in black who shocked us. “And her. But you first.”

She obviously doesn’t believe we’re gonna murder her. “Yes, well, before you murder us all, we do have a few questions about you, your brother, Hunters in America, and how you saved the sun.”

Really? “Right. You shoot me, kidnap us, but yeah, we’re happy to help,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“I didn’t want to hurt you, Sam. You gave me no choice. And, well, I could say it was never supposed to go this way, but you’re...you . It was always going to go this way.”

“And you know me?” I snap.

“We do,” she confirms. “We’ve been watching you and the twins for years. Ever since you almost ended the world the first time. We knew all about Lucifer, the angels falling, the Mark of Cain and its various...side effects.” I look over at Y/n, who looks so embarrassed. Fuck Toni for making Y/n feel like that.

“Then where were you?” Y/n asks.

“Fair question. See, some of us wanted to get involved but the old men wouldn’t allow it. Thought we were overstepping our bounds. After all of this business with the Darkness, even they have to agree...things need to change. And while you might not believe this, Winchesters, we’re here to help.”

Of course they are. “Yeah, no. I-I can tell,” I say sarcastically.

“I want to apologize for locking you up. You’re dangerous--to others and yourselves--but if you answer my questions, you both walk right out that door. I promise.”

I look over at Y/n. I wanna resist, but based on what I know of these assholes, they’re going to hurt us. I don’t want to fight back if Y/n isn’t up to the pain. But she’s the strongest of us. She tells me with a look that she understands and agrees that we’ll get through whatever they throw at us together. “Pass,” I answer for us.

“Sam,” Toni scolds me. She doesn’t know who she’s dealing with.

“You can ask me any kind of question you want. The answer’s gonna be the exact same: Screw you. You wanna get mad? You wanna get mean? I’ve been tortured by the Devil himself. So you? You’re just an accent in a pantsuit. What can you do to me?” I see Y/n gawking at me from the corner of my eye. She looks impressed...and maybe a little turned on.

“And what about your sister?” Toni asks, capping her pen. “Dear Y/n here hasn’t ever been to Hell. Her only interactions with Lucifer and the archangels has been tangential. She’s never been ‘tortured by the Devil himself’. Do you think she could handle it?”

“Screw. You,” Y/n says with all the spite and confidence of a Winchester. Damn, that’s sexy. The woman in black turns on a cold tap and water starts raining down on us. “I can handle anything you throw at us.”

“A cold shower? That’s your play?” I scoff and shake the water from my hair. We start shaking but we don’t complain. We don’t say anything except, “Screw you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up on the floor, out of my restraints. My burned feet are wrapped. My whole body hurts. I’ve taken a beating...and so has Y/n. I’m proud of how much pain she stood up to. When I see her on the floor on the opposite side of her chair, fear that she’s succumbed to the pain overwhelms me. I just lost Dean. I can’t lose her too. I shake her, call her name, check her pulse. She’s alive, but her breathing is shallow. I need her to wake up.

“Y/n. Y/n, you need to wake up,” I whisper desperately, grasping at her face.

“Um ah-righ,” she slurs and I let out a sigh of relief. She’s not out of the woods until she opens her eyes.

“Hey, hey! I can’t lose you too!” I shake her slightly.

“You’re really loud,” she mumbles, a little clearer, but still not awake.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know but you need to wake up.”

Her eyelids flutter over her gorgeous green eyes for a moment before they slide up and she focuses on me. “I tol’ you I’m okay, Sammy,” she says, trying to sit up. I help her and look over her. “Why aren’t we tied up?”

Good question. “We passed out, both ended up on the floor.” I point at the camera on the ceiling in the corner. “They’re watching us from that camera. I’m not sure the game here, but they definitely shouldn’t have-” My eyes go wide as she her whole body goes stiff and she screams like she did when they took the torch to her toes. “Whoa! W-what, what happened?”

“I-I don’t-” She shakes her head, looking up at me with panic in her eyes. “It’s-” Her next scream cuts off her words and she clamps it down but then she just starts whimpering. “It’s like I’m on fire, inside is on fire.”

I start looking her over. A hex bag, a sigil, something that’s causing this pain...a needle mark? I pull her hair off of her shoulder and run my fingertips over a pissed-off mark on her shoulder. “Needle mark. She injected you with something.”

“T-they...they’re trying to break you by b-breaking mmme…” She’s probably right, but I know she won’t break. “I’m the softer target.”

I shake my head and look down at her. She’s not soft. “Nah. You aren’t...you’re strong and...you can-”

She lets out a disbelieving breath. “Only time I’ve been tortured is when Gordon had me, and that--that wasn’t…” She whines and scrunches her face up. Gordon tortured her because of me. Toni’s torturing her because of me. “Hng...that was nothing.”

“You’re not gonna break, Y/n. You’re a Winchester.” Dean did thirty years worth of Hell torture before he broke. I...don’t even know how long Lucifer had me. She can do this.

“I’ve always been the weak-” she starts and I can’t hear her talking about herself like that so I lay her back on the floor and look down into her eyes.

“Not weak. Sensitive, beautiful, amazing.” Perfect. Gorgeous. Sexy. Fuck, how can she look so sexy after a night of torture and days of emotional bullshit and mourning? I look down her body, her perfect, curvy body. I’m fucked in the head, but...I want her. We might die here and I want her. Just once. “Just gotta distract you from the pain, sis,” I whisper as I pull her shirt up. Get her through this until whatever they hit her with wears off. I’m drawn to the burn marks on her abs from the cattle prod and I run my fingers over them. “Gonna make it better...and then we’re gonna make London Chapterhouse pay.”

“Sam, w-what are-” she starts, but I can’t let her talk me outta this. I have to taste her just this once. I lean down and kiss her burn and she gasps. I’ve heard her make that noise for Dean. I wanna make her make all the noises I’ve heard her make for Dean. I pull her shirt up over her bra and start mouthing at her boobs, wetting her bra, but I don’t care because her nipples are poking through the cotton. “Sam,” she whines, and holy shit, my name has never sounded so good.

“I love how my name sounds on your lips. Can’t wait to hear you scream it,” I admit, grinding my dick against her pussy. She grabs my shoulders like she’s trying to hold on for dear life. “Fuck, I’ve dreamed of this. Was so jealous of Dean.”

I start licking at her neck, the column of her throat. I use a little bit of teeth because I wanna mark her as mine. Just this once. She’s breathing heavy and it’s amazing. “I...Sam, please,” she begs as I pop the button on her jeans. She’s begging me. Fuck.

“So fuckin’ needy, sis. Gonna be too easy to get you off when you’re already begging for it.” I slide my hand into her jeans and rub at her clit. She cries out in pain and pleasure and I try to balance it a little more toward pleasure by rubbing a little harder and ramping up the dirty talk. “You’re so fuckin’ wet, Y/n. Soaking your panties. That all for me?”

“Sam…” she whines and that’s still the best thing I’ve ever heard.

“Don’t worry. Gonna take care of you,” I promise, pulling her pants and underwear down and off of her left leg so I can spread her thighs and hook her knees over my shoulders. I kiss my way up her inner thigh. I wanna go slow, but I’m so fucking eager and scared that the British Men of Letters might stop me. I kiss her pussy and her taste coats my lips. She tastes amazing. No wonder Dean couldn’t help but eat her out at inappropriate times. “Taste so fuckin’ good.”

“Fuck, Sam, please,” she begs and how can I say ‘no’? I start licking her lips and sliding my tongue into her slit, slurping at her delicious juices and listening to her gasps and moans. When she twists her fingers in my hair, I fuck my tongue into her pussy. She starts squirming and I put my hands on her stomach to hold her in place. “Sam, I need to--Sam, please, I need to cum, please, please, plea-” I make her scream when I move my mouth to suck her clit into my mouth.

The noise she makes is just...the best fucking thing ever, and I am hard as stone and I need to fuck her, now. I lean back and start undressing as I lick at her taste on my lips and chin. “Think they’re still watching? Huh?” I ask as I carefully pull my pants down. Her eyes go a bit wide when she sees my cock. “Or do you think they averted their proper English, sorry, British eyes when the video stream became incest porn?”

She tears her eyes away from my dick to the camera in the corner. Maybe I shouldn’t have reminded her that it was there. “Uh, I...I don’t-”

“I hope they’re still watching,” I say, carefully laying my body over hers. “Want them to see you cum all over my cock.” Her jaw drops at that. She doesn’t know just how dirty I can be. She’s gonna see before we’re done here. I lean down to kiss her, sliding the head of my cock to her entrance. She whimpers as another wave of fire hits her and I start pushing into her, French kissing her as I slowly get into her.

I’m big. Bigger than Dean, I know that much, almost certainly bigger than Jesse. I’m probably the biggest she’s ever taken, so I know that I have to go slow. But my big fucking dick is definitely distracting her...and that’s why I started this, right? I wanted to get her through this pain, but there’s no reason we can’t enjoy ourselves.

We’re kissing each other, hands buried in each other’s hair, as we wait for her to adjust. It always takes women a few minutes to get used to me...but eventually, I gotta move and when I do? When I start rolling my hips, rocking against her...I’ve never felt anything like it. I drop my head to her shoulder and take deep breaths. “Fuck, Y/n. I’ve wanted this for so fucking long. Since Dean was in Purgatory.” Since she was watching over me in Kermit. Since I was dreaming of fucking her with that collar on. “Used to fuck Amelia, picturing you,” I say as I start thrusting into her. I pick up speed a bit faster than I normally would but I’m so eager.

She grabs at my shoulders, fingernails digging in and I groan. “Sam! Fuck! Slow d-down,” she begs. Too fast, I guess.

I slow a bit, looking into her eyes as I fuck her. She’s got the most amazing body. “God, you feel so fucking amazing, Y/n. You’re squeezing my cock so good. I’m gonna fucking cum.” I grab her breast and tweak her nipple, loving the way it makes her clench around me. She’s exactly what I imagined she’d be. Perfect. “You gonna cum for me, sis? I wanna see your face. I’ve heard you cum so many times, I wanna see. I wanna feel it.”

I reach between us and rub my thumb over her clit and her nails dig in more as she whines, “Sammy.” Her body goes stiff as I start fucking her harder. She’s so fucking close. I’m gonna get to make her cum. “Fuckfuckfuck,” she rambles as her eyes roll back and her jaw drops a bit. Her breath catches on her orgasm and so does mine. I’ve never seen her look so beautiful, so blissful and heavenly.

“So beautiful,” I whisper. I kiss her again as my own orgasm approaches, pain shooting through me as my burned toes curl. I grunt into her mouth as I fill her with cum, gasping in a breath as my head goes woozy. That was everything I thought it was gonna be. Holy shit. I kiss her neck and jawline as I pull out of her. She hasn’t whimpered in a few minutes. “How’s the pain?”

“Better,” she says, stretching her neck a bit. “I think...whatever they injected me with, it’s wearing off.”

I lean away from her, get up on my forearm. I laugh as I look down at her red cheeks and sweaty forehead. “Or maybe I fucked it out of you.” I smirk as I pull her shirt down.

“Yeah. Maybe. My spirits are higher in the very least,” she says sitting up. She smiles at me for a minute before a sadness takes her eyes. “We’re gonna get out of this, right? That wasn’t a ‘Last Night on’-”

“No,” I cut her off as we start getting dressed. Her abandonment issues are huge. “That was a first of many. Next time, it’ll be better. Neither of us will be in pain.”

She shrugs and stands and I’m kinda proud of the way her legs are shaking. “Maybe a little bit of pain isn’t too bad.”

Dean was right? She likes pain. That means I don’t have to hold back with her. Perfect. She’s so fucking perfect. I smile at her. “You’re a little freaky, aren’t you?”

“Says the exhibitionist who just came inside his big sister,” she snaps back.

I chuckle. “Got me there.” It’s hot that she’s got my cum dripping out of her right now. “Let’s see if we can get outta here, huh?” She nods and we start looking around the cellar for weapons and a way out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @sunnyroadtrips @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie Hunter Tags - @atc74 @sandlee44 @spnbaby-67 @kalesrebellion @tumbler-tidbits @hoboal87 @stoneyggirl @kbl1313 @cookiechipdough @mrswhozeewhatsis @winchesterxfamilybusiness @holylulusworld @pretty-fortune @screechingartisancashbailiff @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits @imperiusimpala @supernaturalenchanted Gaga For Green Eyes Tags- @typicalweirdbookworm @deanmonandnegansbitch @jadesupernatural @stoneyggirl @4fareader @squirrelnotsam @lyarr24 @akshi8278 @pretty-fortune @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits Hazy For Hazel Tags - @slut-for-jared @stoneyggirl @aeo10fan @pretty-fortune Wincest Tags - @typicalweirdbookworm @slut-for-jared @hoboal87 @bobasheebaby @squirrelnotsam @akshi8278 @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits

#cassie writes stuff #spn fanfic #reader-insert #sister winchester #sister wincest #sam x sister!reader

81 notes · View notes

writerfangirlbooks · 4 years

Text

Catcher in the Red Eye

Crowley x Reader

Prompt: Being brought to Crowley by some of his minions after you deliberately interfere with their deals to get his attention.

Word Count: nearly 900.

Credit to gif owner!

You had fought bravely, and it was enough. You decapitated at least five demons, before allowing the remaining two to lead you into Hell, where King Crowley, a former crossroads demon, sat in the throne. He stared you down as if you were a piece of old meat with cold eyes.

"What is Y/N doing here and why is she armed and not blindfolded?" Crowley demanded.

You stood proudly in the center of the room as if it was your own. The cocky smiles fell upon the last two demons as they dropped your arms. They had been too frightened of you to even try getting close. One mumbled something about their crossroad deals being interrupted.

You smirked, placing your hands on your hips. "Do you really need to ask that, Crowley? You think that your measly demons could actually stand a chance against me? We've done this before and we'll continue to do so... but I'm here for a reason, actually."

Crowley was not amused or impressed. He continued sitting, eyes narrowed. You were hoping he was anxious, for the last time you two spoke, the environment was just less than hostile, but it was mostly words that caused pain. They really can sting, but you didn't come with an apology. The demons waited at the king's beck and call, but you knew that not all respected him as much as he would have preferred and you planned to use that to your advantage as soon as you got the opportunity to do so. You refused to focus on the past and how you would dominate your own future, because you understood that only you truly cared about yourself and no one else.

"Any reason you have doesn't matter. Stop interfering with their deals or—". You cut him off, taking a few casual steps forwards. "Or what, Crowley? Are you going to 'or else' me? I don't think there's anything you could actually do to s-". Oh, look, another cut off. Maybe I shouldn't have started that, cause it'll get old real fast.

"Stop." Crowley stood up. You paused. It was only for a few moments that the two of you held eye contact, but you were sure that even the demons in the far back of the huge throne room could feel the tension. He gave one red-eyed look sideways to them and they disappeared.

To continue to air of confidence, you released a puff of air in annoyance and coyly pretended to be interested in your long, dark nails as if this was a waste of your time. Your high heels definitely helped with how you wanted to look and made you look badass when kicking ass, but standing still in them was one of your least favorite things and one of the worst pains, and that's saying something considering what you have gone through. When they were gone, he moved towards you and you finally lifted your gaze and raised an eyebrow. The next move was hard to tell.

"Aw, you didn't want an audience? Nothing new, I suppose. Guess that was always one of the main differences between you and I, you know how I love to cause a scene." You decided that rambling was probably your best bet now that the two of you were alone and there was no longer a real shot of embarrassing the king and you probably would not get what you wanted anyways, because he had no reason to do it for you, especially after recent events... but you supposed seeing him one last time was worth it.

Crowley was suddenly much closer and you were surprised to realize that he was not covered in the strong scent of death like he used to be after spending long periods of time in Hell, which meant that he hadn't been. You tried not to be bothered by the fact that you did not know where he had been because it was none of your business and neither was the fact that his suit was fully put together and not casually done-up as if it was a normal day at the office. His dark eyes were back to normal, unnerving you. His face exposed no secrets and suddenly your heart was beating much too loudly for your liking.

“You're not getting what you came here for. It is in your best interest to leave, love. The demons don't take well to being pushed around, unless it's from me, of course. You should go." Crowley was close enough and although you felt you originally had the upper hand, you were left nearly speechless and flustered.

You attempted to nonchalantly glance around the throne room when you were really searching for answers you were sure were too hidden to find and the slightest twitch of your fingertips showed anxiety in questions too scared to ask. Slowing your words to not seem hurried or upset, you pestered more. "Then why don't we reschedule? You're dressed for a busy day. I'll leave your demons alone in the meantime." Your mind was made up as you smirked. "See you around, Crowley."

And with that, you walked out of Hell.

#supernatural #spn imagine #supernatural imagine #crowley #crowley imagine #short story #spn fic #king of hell #supernatural story #winchesters

22 notes · View notes

mostfacinorous · 4 years

Text

GO Whumptober Day 31: Today’s Special- Torture [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24][25][26][27][28][29][30]

“You know,” Crowley heard, as he slowly woke. “Every hunter worth their salt has a tracking device they keep on their person. And his led me straight to you. So tell me the truth: where is Mathias?”

Crowley opened his eyes to find himself in a mostly dark room, tied to a chair, plastic spread out on the floor around him, and floodlights hitting him right in the eyes.

There was a woman standing in front of him, arms crossed and looking both unimpressed and threatening.

“I mean-- I ate him.” Crowley answered, feeling a mite groggy, like he may have been drugged. The pounding in his skull backed up that theory.

“Oh, a jokester. Funny. Mathias is my brother, so I hope for your sake he’s around here somewhere.”

Crowley groaned.

“Mathias sent a child after me by lying to her about the source of her ma’s illness, and then he attacked when I turned up to help them, so I turned into a snake and ate him.” Crowley told her. “I’m not joking, and I’m awful sorry for your loss, though he was a bit of a prick.”

The woman looked less than pleased with that answer, and paced back and forth a bit.

“You wanna talk me through what you’re thinking, or would you rather wear a hole in that tarp?” He finally asked.

“Well, your eyes say demon, so that makes your story a little more plausible. I don’t want to believe my brother’s dead, because if I come home without him, my father will be furious.”

Crowley listened, nodding.

“So I suppose,” she continued, “My options are to take you back to my father and let you tell him your story, and hope I get let off the hook while he kills you slowly, a little bit at a time, or, I do it myself, here and now, save myself the trouble of the roadtrip with you, and know I’ll probably kill you off faster than he would, so it’s really sort of a favor, on account of how you’re right, and my brother was a prick.”

“Sounds like either way is pretty shit, as far as options go on my end.” Crowley quipped, and she huffed a little laugh.

“Shame about you eating him,” she responded. “I feel like we really coulda grown to like one another.”

---

Crowley swam in and out of consciousness for the next several hours, as this incredibly disturbed human woman made a game of removing bits of him and putting them in labelled mason jars.

It really was like some kind of parody of a decor show, the way she tied little ribbons around each one, and labelled them with what they were and the time when she removed them from him.

He had no idea where they were or how they’d got there, but she’d done a damn good job of making sure she wouldn’t be interrupted.

He’d yelled and cried and screamed as loud as he could, but it seemed like there were no neighbors around to hear, or care, or help.

And he had no idea where Aziraphale was. He wished he could call to him, though, reach him, ask for some kind of way out of here.

“So it occurs to me,” Amber said, for that was her name, and Crowley hated that she’d bothered telling him about her, because he sympathized now, a little.

“I haven’t had much opportunity to learn about demons, and how they react to things. For example:” She held up a bottle of salt. “I can make a circle with this, and you can’t leave it, yeah? But what happens if I just…”

She upended the bottle over his chest, slashed open and bleeding sluggishly as it was.

He screamed again as the salt began to dissolve in his blood and sting at the open skin.

She watched, dispassionately, and when he voice broke and his screams turned to little whimpers, she hummed to herself.

“I’d say that was about on par with a human, actually.” She noted. “Which is a real pity, I expected more… fireworks, or the like.”

Crowley twisted his wrist back and forth, trying again to work his hand free, but she laughed.

His fingers were broken; she’d done that first thing, so even if he could get free, the act of summoning a miracle would be even more painful.

“How about the old folklore fixes, eh? Silver? Iron? Garlic?”

“Werewolves, fairies, and vampires. Not me.” He answered her, voice rough from screaming and ruining his attempt at sounding cool.

“And how about holy water? Does that do anything?”

He croaked out a little laugh.

“Tingles a bit. Demons use it as hot sauce.”

He had loosened the duck tape around his wrist enough to be able to move his hand a bit, and he smashed it against the chair, forcing his broken bones back into some semblance of being hand shaped.

“Hm. Hot sauce, you say?” She asked, and he didn’t like that at all. He wiggled his fingers, braced himself, and summoned a miracle.

“Maybe I should go get you some, then. After all, you are being punished for having eaten my brother-- maybe keeping your mouth on a constant holy water drip will make the punishment fit the crime a little better.”

Crowley sucked in air, in too much pain to try and figure out how to talk his way out of that one.

“Did I hear,” A new voice said in the darkness, and Crowley felt his eyes filling with tears of relief, “That you are in the market for some holy water?”

Aziraphale stepped forward, looking prim and proper as ever, and he’d even pulled out his halo and wings for the occasion.

Amber looked up at him in awe.

“You’re an angel aren’t you?” She asked, and Aziraphale smiled.

“I am. And it seems you’ve captured my own personal adversary.” He flicked his eyes towards Crowley, and Crowley whined at the cold expression in them.

Oh, Aziraphale was pissed. And worse, he was righteous.

“Oh, did you want to get in on this? It turns out he ate my brother, so…”

“Were you aware,” Aziraphale asked, voice still light and sweet and casual, “That your brother had made a deal with devils? That your brother kidnapped me, and sold me to hell?”

Amber took a step back as Aziraphale turned to look at her again.

“What? No, I mean, Mathias was an arse, but…”

“Your brother.” Aziraphale said, advancing on her, “Was a monster. And so are you.”

Crowley could not actually see what happened, but he did see that Aziraphale did not so much as lift a finger.

Amber screamed and fell to her knees, her eyes bleeding, her mouth wide open and her tongue suddenly missing.

“Crowley, darling, I think you had better close your eyes.” Aziraphale warned him, and, when he’d obeyed, he could see the bright holy light that suddenly shone throughout the room even through his closed eyelids. It stabbed into him and set his head off again, and he whimpered.

Just as fast as it began, it ended, and then Aziraphale was there.

“Alright, here we are, I am so sorry. Come on, let’s get you out of here, get you healed up.”

“What-- what did you do with her?” Crowley asked. “She was just-- her and Mathias both, their dad…”

“Oh, I know.” Aziraphale told him. “I sent her body back to her father, covered in writing that tells the entire story of their awful line. No further children will be born to them. The old man will see his daughter, read my letter, and then never see again. And whatever monster he is running from will finally be able to catch up.”

Aziraphale’s voice echoed with a sort of certainty, a knowledge beyond what they knew, and Crowley realized he was tapping into the weapons available to angels in the most extreme of circumstances. The sorts of weapons he’d have been given back in the beginning, back when it was a very real war, and he’d been set out to kill demons like Crowley.

Instead, now, he was using those powers in defense of a demon.

“I don’t think heaven’s gonna like this too much.” Crowley told him, head lolling as they moved, and suddenly Crowley realized he was being carried.

“I don’t give two fucks what heaven does and doesn’t like!” Aziraphale said hotly, but sounding more like himself. “I won’t let anyone take you from me again!”

Crowley smiled at that, even though, as they crossed out of the darkness and into the sunlight, his headache flared up, and all the moving was jostling the salt in his chest wounds.

He was woozy and in and out of it, and Aziraphale got him laid out on the grass by a roadside, the day crisp and bright and lovely, and Crowley felt cold and vague.

“That crazy bint killed me, didn’t she?” He asked, and Aziraphale’s eyes flashed, brighter even than the noonday sun.

“Not if I’ve anything to say about it.” He answered. “I am so very sorry,” He added, softer and sweet.

Crowley sighed, trying not to tense even though he knew what was coming next.

Or, he thought he knew. Aziraphale had done some laying of hands on him before, once or twice, and it was terrible for them both each time. They both suffered when they went about helping one another that intimately. So he tried to prepare for more pain.

What he felt instead, though, was Aziraphale’s hand on the side of his face, and then his lips on his, and he was kissing him back to life.

And somehow, it didn’t hurt.

It was like being dunked suddenly into a cold pool, a shock to the system, unpleasant, but bracing. He felt alert again, like he’d just woken, and he felt the pain in his chest going away, the throbbing in his fingers ceasing as everything straightened out and reknitted itself, pieces regrowing and reattaching and healing.

And Aziraphale was kissing him.

When he was done, Crowley chased after his retreating lips, panting and confused.

“That didn’t-- it didn’t hurt me at all. Did it-- are you alright?” He demanded, sitting up and reaching for Aziraphale to catch him in case he fainted from the efforts.

But Aziraphale just smiled.

“When God said she wanted us to be closer,” He said, sounding, finally like himself, “I suspect this is more what she had in mind.”

“You mean I could have been kissing you since winter?”

Aziraphale laughed and helped Crowley to his feet.

“If we weren’t so scared, I would say we could have been kissing for much longer than that. But, yes. I don’t think we’ll have any problems with healing one another any longer.”

Crowley felt tears coming to his eyes again, and he grabbed hold of Aziraphale and held onto him tightly.

“Let’s go find somewhere that’s quiet.” He requested. “Somewhere out of the city. You bring your books, I’ll bring my plants… and with any luck neither of us will have to heal the other ever again.”

“Oh, Crowley.” Aziraphale said on a sigh, “That sounds delightful. How do you feel about the south downs?”

“If you’re there?” Crowley told him, as he reached to pull him into another kiss. “Better than heaven could ever be.”

#GO Whumptober2020 #Good omens fic #aziraphale #crowley #bamf!aziraphale #happy halloween!#whumptober #the end #that writing thing I do

6 notes · View notes

440mxs-wife · 4 years

Text

You Say It’s Your Birthday

March 13th, Your birthday. When you turned the page for the calendar, you noticed that your birthday was going to fall on a Friday. Oh, great, you thought. Friday the 13th. Let's hope that it's smooth sailing and that the day doesn't live up to its "bad luck" reputation.

The morning of your birthday, you noticed that the bunker was unusually quiet. You looked around for a note, or some sign as to where the guys went, but didn't find anything. Probably went out on a hunt, you thought. Hope everything's okay.

You stumbled into the kitchen for some coffee. You could tell some had been made, because the aroma was still in the air. You went over to the coffee maker to pour yourself a cup, but noticed that there was none left in the pot. You replaced the empty pot and put your mug back in the cupboard.

Oh well, I guess I can do without coffee for one morning, you thought. I'll have some cereal. You opened the fridge only to find that you were out of milk. You closed the fridge door and sat down at the breakfast table. Usually, there is a loaf of bread or a bagel, but not this morning.

You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose. No coffee, no milk for cereal, can't even make toast. This was shaping up to be one fine birthday morning, you thought sarcastically. With a deep sigh, you pulled out a notebook and started to make a list of the supplies everyone would need for the next week or so.

After taking a quick shower, you got dressed and looked for your wallet. It had to be a quick one because there wasn't enough hot water for any longer of a shower. You found your wallet on your nightstand along with your car keys. You picked up your notebook with the list and headed to the garage, making sure to lock the door behind you.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Just after you left, Sam, Dean, Castiel and Jack all came back from an easy case, a simple salt-and-burn. The boys were trying to take Jack on some easy cases, since he had lost his powers. Cas was backup in case something went wrong.

The guys called out for you, but there was no answer. "That's weird," Dean said. "Wonder where she could be? I'll try her cell," he suggested. When he heard it ringing from inside your bedroom, he went on high alert. "She's supposed to have that with her at all times, what the hell is going on?" he snapped.

"Dean, calm down, maybe she just forgot to put it in her pocket. The fact that it's here doesn't automatically mean that something went wrong," Sam remarked.

"Yeah? It could mean that Crowley somehow got in here and whisked her away, or she took off in her car and got into an accident. She could've gotten herself locked in one of these rooms, it could mean any number of things!" Dean shouted.

"Perhaps we should just calmly wait for her here. Sam's right, there could be a perfectly simple and non-life-threatening explanation. I do not detect her presence here in the bunker, so we'll have to wait until she returns home," Cas replied.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

About an hour later, you pulled back into the garage. Baby was parked in her usual spot, so you knew the boys were home, hopefully safe and sound. You grabbed some of the grocery bags, figuring you or someone else could go back for the rest. You threw open the door and as you got to the bottom of the spiral staircase, you felt four pairs of eyes on you. "What?" you asked warily as you looked to each of the men.

Dean made a beeline for the stairs and yanked the grocery bags from your hands. "So this is where you've been? Couldn't bother to leave us a note? And I thought we agreed for you to have your damn cell phone on you at all times!! You had me-us worried sick that something had happened to you! I can't believe how irresponsible you are!" he ranted.

"I'm--" you started.

"Save it. For the time being, you're on house arrest. That way we know where you are. You can stay behind and do research because you're not coming along on hunts. Guys, go get the rest of the groceries, I'll take these to the kitchen to be put away," Dean finished.

Head down, you followed Dean to the kitchen to start putting away the groceries. You started taking items out of the bags, separating them between fridge, freezer and pantry items. Sam, Cas and Jack brought in the rest of the bags, and you did the same with the other items. Soon everything was put away where it belonged. Peanut butter in the pantry, fruit in the basket and beer in the fridge.

After putting away the groceries, you sat down at the breakfast table and put your head in your hands. You hadn't meant to worry anyone, in fact you figured you'd be home before they were anyway. One more way that today is fulfilling the Friday the 13th prophecy, you thought. Dean was so angry, and it was the first time that the brunt of it had been directed at you. He was right though, you should've left a note, made sure you had your phone on you before you left. As a hunter, you always had to be on your guard.

You went to the library to do some reading, hoping it would take your mind off of what a rotten birthday it's been so far. You picked up your book from where you left it on the table and settled into a corner of the couch, because your favorite chair was taken. You opened the book but for some reason, you kept staring straight ahead, not reading a word.

"What's the matter with you?" Dean muttered.

You slammed your book closed and glared at Dean. "I don't really feel like telling you, Dean. So drop it," you retorted.

Dean looked up from his project, trying to read your facial expression. "Well, you're in a mood. What is it, that time of the month?" he asked. You heard audible gasps from Sam, Cas and Jack, who all knew Dean had crossed a line.

"Let's see. I woke up to an empty bunker, because you all had left. I didn't find any note either, come to think of it, but I figured you were on a hunt. I remember thinking that I hoped everything was okay," you answered. "There was no coffee left in the pot, no milk left in the fridge for me to have cereal, no bread or bagels for toast. Not enough hot water for a decent length shower. Then I do the unthinkable and go on a supply run," you continued.

"Now wait a minute--" he interrupted.

"I'm not finished. Only I forgot to leave a note or take my cell phone with me, which caused great unrest in the house of Winchester. As a result, I get put on 'lockdown' without an opportunity to defend myself, which is what I'm doing right now. Spare me the lecture, Dean. Friday the 13th is bad luck enough as it is. If you're going to yell at me, though, please wait until tomorrow when it's not my birthday anymore!" you concluded. You rose from your place on the couch and went to your room, tears threatening.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Wait, today's her birthday? Why didn't she say anything?" Sam asked.

"I don't know, but it's still her birthday, we should do something for her," Jack suggested. "She does so much for us every day, the least we could do is help her to celebrate her birthday."

"I agree with Jack," Cas replied. "What can we do, what are her favorite things?"

"We can run into town and get some Chinese food. That's usually her go-to when she's feeling upset," Sam offered.

"Her favorite rock group is Queen, and I know there were a couple of T-shirts she was looking at last week when we were out," Jack mentioned.

"She loves to read, so maybe she would like a gift card from the bookstore?" Cas suggested.

Sam, Jack and Cas all looked at Dean, because he had yet to chime in. "I suppose I owe her an apology, for starters. I'll run into town and pick up the stuff you guys mentioned, then add something from me," he remarked.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A couple of hours later, you carefully opened your door to see if anyone was around. You didn't hear much noise, so you figured they'd all gone out again. You put on your robe, then gathered up your towel and clothes. You wandered down the halls to the room where you'd found the large and inviting bathtub while exploring one day.

As the water ran nice and warm, you added a peach blossom bath bomb to it and watched it fizz. Once the tub was filled at the proper level, you carefully lowered yourself into the water. You leaned back and closed your eyes in relaxation, letting the day's earlier memories drain away from you.

After no less than twenty minutes had gone by, you were sufficiently relaxed, so you got out of the tub. You dried off your body, then pulled on undergarments, your pajama pants and a long-sleeved T-shirt. You went to your room to hang up your robe and towel, then put on your slippers.

You decided to try reading again, now that you were more relaxed, and you thought it may help you fall asleep. You became concerned when all the lights were off, so you called out to Sam, Dean, Cas and Jack.

All of a sudden, you hear, "SURPRISE!!" and all of the house lights came back up, with the boys standing around a table. Sitting on the table was a birthday cake with lit candles, and brightly colored gift bags. Tears sprang to your eyes when you realized the effort they had put into helping you celebrate your birthday. Especially given how it had gone up to that point.

"Guys, thank you. I'm sorry about earlier. I should've---" you started.

"Never mind that for now, time to celebrate your birthday!" Sam exclaimed. "You should probably blow out the candles, since they're dripping wax on the birthday cake," he grinned.

"Make a wish," Dean said softly. You closed your eyes, thought of a wish, then you blew out all the candles in one breath. Everyone cheered and suggested you open your gifts.

The first gift you opened was a big red bag from Sam, and inside was Chinese food from your favorite restaurant in town. "Aww, thank you, Sam! These guys make the best egg rolls, you have to try some!" you exclaimed as you passed around the container with the egg rolls in them.

The next gift bag was blue, and was from Jack. You reached in and pulled out the two Queen T-shirts you'd had your eye on since last week. "These are perfect, Jack! Just the ones I've been looking at," you remarked.

Cas leaned over and grabbed an envelope from the table and handed it to you. You looked at him in surprise and tore it open. Inside the birthday card was a gift card to the bookstore in town. "I know how much you like to read, but you won't find anything current on these shelves. I thought you could use it to find something new," Cas explained. "Thank you, Cas. I'm sure I can put this to good use," you replied.

Since you had opened all of your gifts, you suggested breaking into the Chinese food and then cutting the cake. As Sam started opening the trademark white cardboard boxes, Dean went to the kitchen and brought out some plates. He seemed to be taking extra effort not to make eye contact with you. He must still be upset with me, you thought, as you tried to concentrate on enjoying the celebration.

After dinner, you all decided to watch one of your favorite movies, The Princess Bride. During the movie, one by one everyone started to get sleepy. Sam, Jack and Cas each gave you a kiss on top of your head as they left or went to their rooms.

You tried to make it to the end of the movie, but after the fire swamp scene, you also gave in and decided to go to bed. Dean was relaxing in the library with his tumbler of whiskey when you softly wished him good night.

A little while later, you awoke from a horrible nightmare. A demon had captured you all, but it killed each of the boys one by one, while it forced you to watch. You sat straight up in bed, breathing heavily, trying to get your bearings. You reached for the glass of water you kept on your nightstand and drank its contents. You tried to get back to sleep, but each time you closed your eyes, you were taken back into the same scenario. After laying there for about fifteen minutes not sleeping, you got out of bed and wandered into the library.

To your surprise, Dean was still there, nursing his glass of whiskey. He glanced up to see who it was, and relaxed a bit when he saw it was you. "Can't sleep?" he asked.

You nodded. "Nightmare," was all you said.

"Want to talk about it?" he inquired.

"Not really, not now anyway," you replied, shaking your head.

Dean tilted his head back and drank the remainder of his whiskey in one gulp. You took a step closer to him and put your hand on his shoulder. He looked at your hand then at you, trying to tell what you were thinking.

"Listen, Dean, I'm sorry about before. You're right, I should've left a note, or at least made sure I had my phone with me. It was stupid and careless, and it won't happen again," you said, walking back towards your room.

Dean caught your hand and stopped you. "Nah, I'm the one who should be apologizing, I overreacted. When I called out for you and you weren't here, I....got worried that something terrible had happened to you. I panicked, and then when you showed up, all that just kind of exploded in me.

“I was so relieved to see you, but instead of seeing my relief, you saw my anger for making me worry. I am sorry for that, and for not realizing it was your birthday," he finished. "I didn't even get you anything."

"You didn't have to get me anything, Dean. I'm not into getting stuff. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gifts, but all I really ever want is to not be forgotten. For someone to say, 'hey, you're somebody special, and I'm glad you were born today'," you explained.

Dean thought for a moment, then a grin spread slowly across his face. "I have an idea. Get your shoes on and grab your coat," he said.

"What? Why?" you asked.

"No questions, just go get your shoes and your coat on and meet me in the Impala," he grinned then winked at you.

A few minutes later, you slid into the passenger seat of the Impala. Dean backed out of the bunker garage, then headed down the highway. You cast a sidelong glance at him, trying to figure out what he's up to, but he kept his eyes on the road, a mischievous grin on his face.

Seeing his destination, he pulled the Impala over onto a small side road with a clearing. Dean got out of the car and rushed over to the passenger side to open the door for you. He held out his hand to assist you. You placed your hand in his, feeling the strength and safety you knew it and the man himself offered. "Thank you, Dean," you blushed. "What are we doing here?" you asked.

"Look up," he replied softly. You leaned against the Impala, then did as he asked. You couldn't help but be awestruck by the seemingly limitless number of stars present in the moonlit sky. "It's breathtaking," you whispered. "I've never seen so many stars. I wish I knew what some of the constellations were, other than the Big Dipper," you remarked.

Dean came over to where you were standing. He placed his hands on your shoulders, turning you so he was behind you. "I happen to know a thing or two about astronomy, I'll show you. Pointing to his left, he said, "See that bright dot over there?" You nodded. "Well, that's not a star, that's the planet Venus. The clouds on Venus trap the sun's rays, making it glow."

"Tell me more," you prodded.

He rubbed your shoulders a bit before moving his hands a little lower to your sides. You started to feel slightly warm, like you may no longer need the jacket you brought with you. Dean pointed to his right and upward. "That's Cassiopeia, a very vain and naughty Greek queen. There's Orion, the Greek hunter, trying to hold up his pants with his belt," he grinned.

You giggled at his joke. "There's sure a lot of stars up there, how do you know so much about them?" you asked.

"Truth?" he responded, to which you nodded. "Well, if you're ever lost, you can navigate by the stars. And maybe....to impress women," he added sheepishly.

You turned to face Dean, his hands still on your sides. "I'd say it worked on this woman," you replied softly, reaching with your hand to cup his face.

Dean searched your face as if he were truly seeing it for the first time. "You sure look pretty, especially in the moonlight. I don't know how I didn't see it before," he marveled. He pulled you closer, then leaned in to capture your lips with his. You were amazed at how tender his kiss was, compared with his tough side that he shows the rest of the world.

Your mouths moved fluidly with each other, tasting and exploring with your tongues. Dean's hands left your sides to roam freely up and down your back. Your hands had gone from stroking his cheek to running through his hair. When you paid particular attention to the ones at the base of his neck, he groaned in appreciation. "Woman, you're going to be the death of me, you know that?" he growled.

"But what a glorious way to go, hmm?" you teased, causing him to grin against your mouth.

"By the way....Happy Birthday, sweetheart," Dean replied softly.

"Thank you, Dean. For the stars and for making my birthday wish come true," you said.

#dean winchester #deanxreader #dean winchester x reader #spn fanfiction #spn fluff #spn imagine #supernatural

17 notes · View notes