#HELP WANTED BY J. EMERY
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"Do you want to read something bite-sized and impossible to put down? If so, may I offer you a list of 11 Queer books under 250 pages to solve your plight? It is wonderful to be able to pick a book up and finish it in a sitting or two. These books do just that and they are queer. What more can you ask for?
With Pride month in full swing, many readers opt to celebrate by adding more queer books to their reading lives. However, June is a busy month full of work, travel, Pride celebrations, and summertime ennui. Sometimes you want something small that you can take on a trip, or something short to read in your downtime. In case you have a busy month or need a short book as a break, this list of queer books under 250 pages is here to help you out. Ideally, it will let you accomplish your queer reading goals and still make it to all the events on your calendar."
#11 QUEER BOOKS UNDER 250 PAGES#BISCLAVRET BY K.L. NOONE#HELP WANTED BY J. EMERY#BEYOND THE GENDER BINARY BY ALOK VAID-MENON#ASHLEY LUKASHEVSKY (ILLUSTRATIONS)#ONCE GHOSTED#TWICE SHY BY ALYSSA COLE#FIREHEART TIGER BY ALIETTE DE BODARD#A SPINDLE SPLINTERED BY ALIX E. HARROW#THE SCOURGE BETWEEN STARS BY NESS BROWN#EVERY HEART A DOORWAY BY SEANAN MCGUIRE#HUMAN ENOUGH BY E.S. YU#THE RED THREADS OF FORTUNE BY NEON YANG#Hither PAGE BY CAT SEBASTIAN
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2023 reads // twitter thread
Help Wanted
cute urban fantasy novella
about a student who gets a job at the local magic supply shop, and becomes friends and maybe something else with the owner’s son
questioning ace/gender MC
#Help Wanted#J. Emery#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#ok this is one I thought I'd read but I actually had read a different cozy novella w an ace nb MC lol#this is cute! it's just kinda a questioning and romance story#I think the MC is probably greyace (and greyaro?) specifically#asexual books
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SJM Interview and My Thoughts
Court of Maas has a transcript up of one of Sarah J Maas's interviews. There was some things I found very interesting from it.
Let's start with this one:
The "meeting a character and just knowing that they're the next story" screams Gwyn to me. Why? Because she was a new character that was introduced and Sarah had to meet. And Gwyn herself has lines in ACOSF that hint at more to come with her story (and Emeries)
“You had this much to say about us?” Emerie said, choking on a laugh. Gwyn rubbed her hands together. “With more to come.”
The back of her throat ached; her eyes stung. “We’re in a book.” Gwyn’s fingers slid into hers, squeezing tight. Nesta looked up to find her holding Emerie’s free hand as well. Gwyn smiled again, her eyes bright. “Our stories are worth telling.”
Also, Sarah's answer on the question if we'll get an Elain POV in the next book was met with "we'll see Elain in some form" which to me implies she's more than likely not the main character & that just adds to my previous statement.
Next we have this:
"She realized she wanted to write men who will do everything together with their partner and not insist on being 'the hero' themselves"
That screams like Azriel and Elain are a no go since we know Azriel likes being the hero when it comes to her. Just look at him going to Hybern Camp with Feyre to try to play hero... or what about in ACOSF when Cassian talks about Elain being captured and this is what was said by Azriel:
Azriel stiffened. “I know. I helped rescue Elain, after all."
Azriel is "the hero" and will always insist that way with Elain. He's not the one for Elain.
But you know the pairings where the men will do everything together with their partner and not insist on being the hero for their partners? Gwynriel and Elucien.
We already see this with Azriel and Gwyn. He couldn't be the hero for Gwyn when she went into the Blood Rite because of the laws even Rhysand couldn't break. He even tells Cassian they trained them well and to trust in that training.
“There are plenty of other unspeakable things that could be happening to her,” Cassian said, voice thickening. “To Emerie and Gwyn.”
The shadows deepened around Azriel, his Siphons gleaming like cobalt fire. “You—we—trained them well, Cassian. Trust in that. It’s all we can do.”
Also, here are even some ideas of them doing things together that fit with their pairings:
Elucien
Traveling to different courts & explore the world together. Hosting parties and being politically savvy.
Gardening - I actually have a commission of this I'll post soon 🤭
Cooking/Baking - Lucien will want to help Elain and it's something I can see then enjoying doing together given their personalities.
Gwynriel
Spy missions. Training. Singing.
Research in the library for universe theories or general reading & just imagine them sitting up in bed together reading passages to one another, analyzing them, theorizing. Thank you @alex-catlady for this one!
Flying - Gwyn on a Pegasus and Azriel flying beside her. Maybe even making into a race for a little competition? Azriel flying with Gwyn in his arms.
#gwynriel#pro gwynriel#elucien#gwyneth berdara#azriel shadowsinger#pro elucien#elain archeron#lucien vanserra#acosf#azriel x gwyn#gwyn x azriel#lucien and elain#elain and lucien#anti e/riel#lucien x elain#elain x lucien#azriel and gwyn#acotar series#acotar
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Final Fantasy VII Rebirth details Gold Saucer, Corel Prison, Vincent Valentine, Cid Highwind, and more detailed
■ New Art
■ Regions of the World
The world is comprised of multiple regions, each boasting unique environments for players to explore and experience on their adventure.
Gold Saucer
Referred to as the gilded paradise, the Gold Saucer is a resplendent amusement park on an epic scale. It is divided into seven areas, called “squares,” each with their own unique attractions. One such is the Skywheel, which takes guests high above the Saucer for an unforgettable view of the park, and has proven to be a popular date spot.
Corel Prison
A sprawling slum that infests the base of the Gold Saucer. It’s almost as if the Saucer’s glimmering façade acts a beacon for vagabonds and ne’er-do-wells the world over, as they have flocked there in droves. So dangerous is the Dustbowl—Corel Prison’s slightly kinder sobriquet–that those who enter its limits are said to never return.
■ New Characters
Vincent Valentine (voiced by Matthew Mercer in English)
“Who dares disturb my slumber?”
A self-proclaimed “security” guard who hibernates in a coffin deep below Shinra Manor. This man of mystery is swathed in a red cape and boasts the genes of a monster—as well as a hidden connection to Sephiroth.
Cid Highwind (voiced by J. Michael Tatum in English)
“Shinra don’t own the skies! They couldn’t stop me even if they tried.”
This rogue pilot of reputable skill runs a shuttle service out of various abandoned airstrips. After Cloud and company flag him down, he flies them around the globe in his beloved Tiny Bronco.
Dyne (voiced by Dave B. Mitchell in English)
“You took everything from me. Everything and everyone!”
Dyne was once Barret’s closest friend, back when the two used to make their living in the coal mines of Corel. Now, he is a wanted man with a gun grafted to his left arm, and his current whereabouts are unknown.
Dio (voiced by Ian James Corlett in English)
“As park director, it’s my pleasure to welcome you to our gilded paradise.”
The charismatic owner of the Gold Saucer. Famous for his brawny physique and handlebar mustache, Dio is often found participating in his park’s parades, flexing his muscles before throngs of screaming guests.
Doctor Sheiran (voiced by Lloyd Sherr in English)
“Won’t charge for my services, but I wouldn’t turn down a blood sample neither.”
Though his clinic in North Corel may be small, Doctor Sheiran’s heart and intellect are anything but. Lately, he has been caring for the black-robed figures that have stumbled into town, and is attempting to uncover the truth behind their mysterious illness.
Solemn Gus (voiced by Jonah Scott in English)
“I’ll help…but only if I get a little something from you first. Understand?”
The sleazy kingpin of Corel Prison, Gus is as flamboyant as he is smooth-talking. Add to that a healthy dose of showmanship, and it’s little wonder that the dregs of the Dustbowl have flocked to him.
Biggs (voiced by Gideon Emery in English)
“Why in the hell did fate pick me?”
After surviving the fall of the Sector 7 plate, Biggs awoke to find that he is the last remaining member of the ill-fated anti-Shinra rebels, Avalanche. Having recovered from his injuries, he now seeks revenge against the company that murdered his comrades.
■ Combat: Synergy Skills
Synergy Abilities
Powerful attacks in which two characters team up to turn the tide of battle. More abilities will unlock as you increase the party level─a numerical expression of how closely-knit your team is─and deepen the affinity between party members. Fill the synergy gauge by using abilities, then unleash a synchronized assault!
—Cloud / Aerith: “Firework Blade”
Cloud uses Aerith’s magic to unleash a ranged attack.
—Tifa / Caith Sith: “Moogle Dunk Shot”
Tifa swings Cait Sith’s moogle around and launches it at an enemy.
■ Combat: Summons
Summons
Setting summoning materia will grant access to the power of the gods. A conjured deity will follow the player’s lead and fight enemies automatically, but you can also instruct them to use special abilities. Before they depart the battlefield, summons will unleash one final attack that will wreak immense havoc.
Titan
A titanic colossus whose arms of solid stone can rend the earth—and your enemies—asunder.
—Titan excels at both powerful melee strikes and area-of-effect attacks, such as Boulder Hurl.
—Upon leaving the battlefield, Titan unleashes Earthen Fury, calling forth giant pillars of rock from deep within the earth. This imposing magic attack harnesses the power of nature to cleave your enemies’ resolve.
Bahamut Arisen
A massive dragon covered in resplendent red scales. It cuts off any possible escape routes with its lightning-quick speed, and decimates its enemies with both sharp claws and a veritable arsenal of weaponry.
—Bahamut Arisen excels at attacking in rapid succession, but can also obliterate foes with charged magic attacks from its limbs. Once its Umbral Bombardment lands, it releases two orbs of magic that fan out and annihilate all surrounding enemies.
—When it leaves the battlefield, Bahamut Arisen activates Gigaflare—an extremely potent attack that sees the dragon unleash beams of magic from its wings and maw, burning any nearby foes alive.
Phoenix
A bird possessed of exquisite beauty and wings of brilliant flame. Phoenix not only flies about the battlefield assailing foes with its blisteringly hot attacks, but also heals the party’s wounds.
—In addition to engulfing enemies in flames with its wings of wildfire, Phoenix can grant buffs with healing effects. It can also revive incapacitated allies and fully recover their HP with Arise, allowing them to return to the front line and continue the fight.
—When it departs the field of battle, Phoenix unleashes Rebirth Flame, which recovers the party’s HP and spells a fiery death any foes within its wide range. A single feather falls from Phoenix’s wings, enveloping the battlefield in burning flames, after which the bird rises from the cinders to deal the final blow.
■ System: Relationships
Bonds of Friendship
Cloud’s actions and the way he responds to other party members while conversing with them will affect his relationship with them.
With a strong enough bond, you may even reap some benefits, so whenever you’re faced with a decision, you might want to think hard before responding—especially if it concerns your favorite character.
Loveless
A theatrical production based on the classic epic poem Loveless.
It depicts a hero’s fight against the Dragon King, the tyrannical ruler of Guardia, as well as his love for Princess Rosa.
Thanks to the latest in VR technology, the Gold Saucer’s Golden Theatre brings this play to life like never before. Depending on your relationship with your fellow theatergoers, the person playing Rosa may even change—along with parts of the script.
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, the second game in the Final Fantasy VII remake trilogy, will launch for PlayStation 5 on February 29, 2024.
#Final Fantasy VII Rebirth#FFVII Rebirth#Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth#FF7 Rebirth#Final Fantasy VII Remake#FFVIIR#Final Fantasy 7 Remake#FF7R#Final Fantasy VII#FFVII#Final Fantasy 7#FF7#Final Fantasy#Square Enix#video game#PS5#TGA 2023#The Game Awards#long post
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love stories (gwynriel)
Nesta's POV
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄☆
“And then what?” Gwyn asks me, her face, one of pure joy. We had stopped stretching long ago, losing ourselves in a conversation about the last book Emerie had lent me.
“Then he confessed his love and they-”
“Ladies, I suggest you resume your stretching and quit the smut book talking,” Cassian shouts over the ring, making absolutely everyone turn to us. “Or else.” He grins and starts walking toward us, wood swords in his hands.
“Oh gods, everyone is looking at us,” Emerie whispers. Her gaze on the floor as she leans over to her foot, stretching, or pretending to.
“So, you blush at the attention, but feel no sense of embarrassment talking about your… books in public,” Cassian mocks, now behind me. I’m not blushing, I want to say, but think better of it.
“Can we just begin,” Gwyn says flustered, rising with Emerie’s help. I rise as well, taking a wooden sword from Cassian. Emerie does the same with the other one he’s holding. “Oh, my sword?” Gwyn asks, her eyes darting across the room.
“Here,” the Shadowsinger’s voice rings calmly in the air before he starts walking closer to the priestess. She takes the sword rapidly, her beautiful eyes narrowing at him.
“Why did you have my sword?” she questions accusingly.
We all stare at Azriel, waiting for his smart reply, yet he only raises his eyebrows in what I believe is amusement.
“Your sword, Gwyneth?” Cassian asks, his tone both playful and curious. “I didn’t know you had your own sword. And neither did Azriel, I guess. We deeply apologize.” I hear Emerie’s chuckle and I try to contain mine.
“I did know,” Azriel states, making us all turn to him. His eyes are still intensely locked with Gwyn’s, like they were having a conversation of their own. “That’s why I came here to give it to you.”
The priestess moves her gaze somewhere else at last, the blush on her cheeks so light, no one could actually notice. No one but the shadowsinger.
“How did you know?” I ask, delighted to see where this is going.
Gwyn opens her mouth, but it is Azriel who gets to speak first. “Well, she left a warrior mark on it.” He grins.
“A warrior mark?” Emerie echoes before I can ask myself. Azriel turns from the priestess to Cassian, who gives him a knowing smile. Another conversation Azriel has, that others can’t hear.
“Yes,” he explains. “Some dagger-cut butterflies marked on the wood.”
“So scary,” Cassian says, holding a laugh that neither Emerie nor I can hold. Gwyn glares at us.
“Traitors,” she mutters under her breath, which makes Azriel chuckle.
He then turns to watch her, his eyes alive with joy. I smile at that, at how sweet they look.
-Characters by Sarah J. Maas
Well, this is new. I'm looking forward to write anything ACOTAR, so if you have any requests, please please send them :) i'll do any characters n any ships.
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trans male rom coms !! or any trans rom coms if there are not that many published !!! happy endings please !!!
so these might not all be romantic-comedies, but they are all Romances with a happy ending or Happily For Now, to the best of my knowledge; italicized titles are ones I've read myself and recommend as a transgender man
Contemporary Romance
(YA) Spy Stuff by Metzger, Matthew J.
Finding Your Feet by Lennox, Cass
(YA) Something Like Gravity by Smith, Amber
Don't Feed the Trolls by Kudisch, Erica (questioning masc NB)
(YA) Felix Ever After by Callender, Kacen (demiboy)
(YA) Stay Gold by McSmith, Tobly (hate crime, but happy ending)
Make a Circle by Joyce, Elliot
Cat's Got Your Heart by Zero, Jem
Life Underwater by Metzger, Matthew J.
Walking on Water by Metzger, Matthew J.
Reverb by Zabo, Anna
(YA) Meet Cute Diary by Lee, Emery
(YA) The Passing Playbook by Fitzsimons, Isaac
(YA) May the Best Man Win by Ellor, Z. R.
(YA) Jaya and Rasa: A Love Story by Patel, Sonia
(YA) A Million Quiet Revolutions by Gow, Robin (t4t)
(YA) Sharing Secrets by Metzger, Matthew J.
Coffee Boy by Chant, Austin
(YA) Rebel Boys and Rescue Dogs, or Things That Kiss with Teeth by Shrum, Brianna R.
(MG) On a Summer Night by Vidrine, Gabriel D.
Their Troublesome Crush by West, Xan
Acoustics by Price, London
(YA) The Feeling of Falling in Love by Deaver, Mason
(YA) Beating Heart Baby by Min, Lio
Welcome, Caller by Wright, M. Dean
Chef's Choice by Alexander, T. J. (t4t)
(YA) We Go Together by de Niverville, Abigail
(YA) If I Can GIve You That by Bulla, Michael Gray
(YA) Always the Almost by Underhill, Edward
A Shot in the Dark by Lee, Victoria
Historical Romance
The Companion by Ottoman, E. E. (t4t4t poly triad)
(YA) Self-Made Boys by McLemore, Anna-Marie
The Doctor's Discretion by Ottoman, E. E.
Fantasy / Sci-Fi / Paranormal Romance
(YA) The Heartbreak Bakery by Capetta, A. R. (NB x trans-masc)
(YA) Help Wanted by Emery, J. (questioning F, could be NB or ftm)
A Knight to Remember by Simkiss, Ceillie
(YA) Venom & Vow by McLemore, Anna-Marie
Mystery Romance
The Queer and the Restless by Ripper, Kris
(YA) A Fine Bromance by Moss, Christopher Hawthorne
full notes on representation and publishing info at qbdatabase.com
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Lady Death's Lover {V}
Lady Death's Lover Masterlist & Summary
19th Century Period AU
Nesta x Cassian
Secret Affair / Enemies to Lovers / Forbidden Romance
Fanfiction / Characters from Sarah J Maas / ACOTAR
Based on a prompt sent in by anonymous
A/N: This chapter is slightly NSFW. No one under the age of 18 should be reading this story.
Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, likes, and/or reblogs! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and hope you continue to do so! x
TW: marital abuse, sexual content, language, depression, alcohol abuse
This story is for readers 18+. Mature readers only. Content should not be read by anyone under 18.
Dear Emerie,
I hope you’re enjoying your time away. Just know that we miss you here in the city, but I hope your travels are everything you want them to be. I cannot wait for you to return and tell Gwyn and I all about your thrilling endeavors. She is convinced that you have found someone in which your soul cannot live without, but I have assured her that it is nothing more than a foreign fling.
I cannot wait to see who is right!
To answer your very thoughtful questions, I am doing just fine. You know how Tomas is, but he is busy with his business and I find peace in the distance that brings between us. I have found myself wondering one thing — what is it like to attend a ball as an unmarried lady? We used to have little get-togethers in my village, of course, but nothing as grand as the balls in Velaris. I used to love to dance and each time I attend one of these gatherings I cannot help but daydream of dancing once again. Of course, it is not common for a married lady to dance, and Tomas would never. It is a lovely thought though, isn’t it? I know you are content with your life as a spinster (which I admire), but even you love a good turn about the dancefloor.
Perhaps one day I will be privileged enough to just get a tease of what it is like.
Write back soon. Be safe. We miss you!
With Love,
Nesta
Nesta
I hate luncheons. Especially women-only luncheons. The only perk is that I don’t have to attend them with Tomas, but that is by far the only perk. All of these women think they’re better than me and each other. Every one of them has something shoved so far up their asses that I’m surprised they can still walk.
They’re all talking about their husbands, how amazing they are, how perfect their lives are, but I can’t seem to contribute to the conversation. I may be forced to be here by my husband but I’m not about to praise his name.
As I sip my lemonade, I let my mind drift back to where it’s been, repeatedly, constantly, for the past week. Ever since he left my home, ever since I ran into him outside just after midnight, the image of him has been branded into my mind. It doesn’t matter if I’m awake or asleep, I can see his face, his smile, the intense look in his eyes as he looks at me. I can hear him saying my name, voice low and rough, like no man has ever said it before.
I’ve dreamt of him, fell asleep every night to these fantasies that I can’t control.
They started off seemingly innocent, the two of us dancing, touching tentatively, doing nothing more than following the same steps that everyone knows, getting lost in the music as we stare into one another’s eyes. That innocence didn’t last long; it quickly escalated.
Last night had me writhing in my bed, needing friction, needing release, needing something far greater than what my fingers could offer. I worked myself roughly, imagining my fingers were his, imagining his cock was hard and inside me, pounding into me again and again, recklessly.
I was no virgin when I married Tomas, and although he would claim otherwise, my husband in full denial, that means I know what I like. Laying with Tomas is a chore, one that I have never enjoyed, one that never lasts long or gives me any sort of satisfaction. I know what I like in bed, what I like from a man, and I have no doubt that a man like Lord Cassian can give me just that.
Not that it would ever happen.
Of course. I am a lady, the wife of a renowned lord, and a woman of high society would never act so immorally.
I can dream, though. I can let those unholy thoughts fill my mind, imagine a man like Lord Cassian exploring every inch of my bare body while I fall into a state of utter ecstasy.
“Lady Nesta?”
My eyes snap up and meet the Lady Cresseida’s from across from me. Her smile is sly and I’m tempted to match it with one of my own, but I don’t.
“Are you well? You look a little flush,” she continues, mockingly.
“I am feeling a little under the weather,” I confess. A complete lie, but if they’re asking, I may as well take advantage of it. “Perhaps I’ll take my leave.”
They all nod in farewell, but I know that none of them care. I, however, am overjoyed at the excuse to leave. I make haste, wasting no time as I rise to my feet and stride out of the home in which the luncheon is being held.
The second I’m in my carriage, I call for my driver to take me home.
The long way.
But, it’s always the long way. I stopped asking a long time ago. Now, they just take me home the long way when I’m by myself. They just think I enjoy the scenery, find peace in a ride by myself in the quiet. Or, perhaps they know the truth, that I loathe my husband and hate being in his presence, in his home, our home, and they just keep quiet about it.
I wonder what the help talks about when they’re alone, when they’re in their own quarters, far away from us. I wonder if they truly hate me, if they hate Tomas. I wonder what they think of our marriage, if they know it’s as awful as it truly is.
I’ll never know. I’ll never ask. Either way, I’m grateful that they drive me the long way home.
As soon as the wheels begin wobbling down the cobblestone, I lean back against the bench and close my eyes. The velvet lined seats are soft enough to relax on, and the moment I’m comfortable, I let my mind wander.
Back to him.
His hands.
His cock.
I know I’m pitiful, know that these fantasies mean absolutely nothing and the reality of my life, my marriage, is still in shambles. But they’re a small reprieve, because if I cannot control my reality, at least I can control my thoughts to a certain extent.
Those thoughts drift to Lord Cassian.
We don’t know each other and we surely never will. Perhaps that’s what makes him the perfect candidate for these fantasies, for these wandering thoughts. He’s a stranger, one that I’ve gotten a feel for, certainly, but still a stranger.
I wonder what he looks like nude. I’ve tried to imagine it many times, have pictured what I thought, but I imagine it doesn’t compare to the reality of his body. He’s muscular, of that I have no doubt, and the part that matters most is long, thick, and wielded like a weapon.
I don’t even realize that I’m inching up my skirts until my hand has made its way into my undergarment and the tip of my finger grazes my throbbing clit. I circle it slowly, biting my lip to keep myself silent. I’ve touched myself more in the last week than I have in the last decade but I have no shame.
It’s hard to feel shame when your senses are alive and thriving.
Sex is not bad. It is not a sin to feel desire, although my husband would claim otherwise. In fact, he claims that women should find no pleasure whatsoever when it comes to sex, which seems to be the reason why the focus is never on me when he visits my room. No, he does what he likes until he gets off, having no idea how to truly please a woman.
Lord Cassian — the man I have made up in my mind this last week?
He knows how to please a woman.
He knows how to leave her gasping, screaming, how to make the eyes roll back in her head. He knows how to make her back arch, how to make her toes curl, how to make her cry out for the gods, the Mother, the Cauldron. He knows how to make that little feeling, wild and unruly, go mad in the pit of a woman’s stomach until she can no longer contain herself, until her heart is bursting out of her chest and she’s seeing stars.
He knows how to make a woman find release and he doesn’t stop until she’s found it.
I grip the plush velvet seat cushion as I squeeze my legs together, trapping my hand within. We hit a bump in the road and I jolt, but it only adds to the madness that I’m currently drowning myself in.
My other hand joins my first and I pump two fingers deep inside of me, working in tandem with the one still making joyous circles over that sensitive bundle of nerves. A long string of words falls from my mouth in a devout whisper, words that would bring shame to my husband and his name, words that no lady should voice but I cannot help it.
His face is in my mind, his smile unfurling behind my closed lids. His body is bare and his hands are roaming my body, every stripped inch of me. I call out his name and he urges me on, thriving on my indecent vocalization.
Within the confines of my coach, I throw a hand over my mouth to muffle what I cannot control while I find my release with those loyal, fervent fingers of mine. I keep moving until my body grows limp, that intensity that makes me feel alive fading into nothingness yet again. I smooth out my skirts and lean back against the bench, fighting to catch my breath.
I wonder if my driver suspects anything but find that I don’t care. No one would ever dare tell Tomas, would not dare anger the Lord Mandray.
No one would be that idiotic. It would be a death sentence, the messenger every bit at fault as I.
I can’t help myself. I laugh.
I break into such a fit of laughter that I fear I’m going insane, but oh, it feels so good to laugh!
I laugh until tears are rolling down my cheeks and my sides begin to hurt, and it’s only when I collect myself that I realize it was the first time I had laughed in a long, long while. It feels good to laugh, as mad as I may seem. There is something utterly triumphant about feeling pure, demented joy.
Staring out the window, I watch Velaris pass by as we make our way back to House Mandray. By the time we arrive, all of my wonderful, demented joy has faded.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
Cassian
“What do you mean you’re not going?”
We’re sitting around Azriel’s dining room table, feasting on roasted chicken, when my brothers decide to insert themselves into my personal business, yet again.
“I’ve been to two balls this season.” I sigh, stabbing a carrot. “I don’t need to attend another.”
Azriel and Rhys look at one another, concern written plainly on their faces, but I pretend I don’t see it.
“Besides,” I continue, “none of the ladies have caught my eye this season. It is a waste of time.”
“But you love to dance,” Azriel says, the same time Rhys says, “but you love to drink.”
It’s true. I adore both of those things, but I know where the next ball is being held, and even I am not courageous enough to step foot into the Mandray’s house again.
Nothing untoward happened with Nesta and I in the garden, but it was inappropriate, nonetheless. I was a little tipsy after my closed door meeting with Tomas, but I still had my wits about me. I know that I should not have been alone with Nesta, but I couldn’t stop myself.
From the moment I saw her under the starlight, I was gone.
“I thought your meeting with Tomas went well,” Rhys pushes, buttering his roll. The same roll that he’d already been buttering for over a minute.
“It did,” I say, and leave it at that.
They, however, will not leave it at that.
“Then this has to do with the wife,” Azriel says, mouth full of potatoes.
It’s only the three of us.
Manners be damned.
Across from him, Rhys’ eyes light up and swivel back in my direction. “Ah, the wife. Lady Mandray. Did you come on to her again?”
I drop my knife and fork with a clatter and rub my temples. “No, I did not flirt with Nesta.”
“Nesta?” They both repeat in unison, and I instantly realize my mistake.
“Lady Mandray,” I correct myself using her formal title, “and I simply do not see what she has to do with my absence.”
“You have always been a terrible liar,” Rhys quips, clearing his plate. “But, if you wish to live in a state of deception, so be it.”
“I’m not—” I take a deep breath before I can let my frustration take control. I’ve always been prone to anger, as much as I loathe the fact. “I’m not lying. I simply do not wish to attend a party when I can be home, working.”
Drinking in solitude is more like it, but that’s beside the point.
“Work is all well and good but you must allow yourself to have fun every now and again,” Azriel says, his tone as skeptical as Rhysand’s. “Besides, haven’t we established that it’s about time you marry?”
“If it’s time I marry, it’s time we all marry,” I grumble.
Azriel suddenly looks horrified while Rhys chokes on his wine. I know that neither of them are ready to be a husband, although we are all quickly approaching our third decade of life. Rhys sometimes pretends that he is, but when it comes down to it, I cannot even imagine him with any of the women of the ton.
No young lady could handle Rhysand.
Azriel is different. I cannot tell if he’ll ever marry. It’s not that he has never been in a relationship or that he is incapable of love. He loves stronger than perhaps anyone I have ever known. I’ve always felt that is the very reason why he keeps himself so guarded. The only people he’s ever truly let get to know him are me, Rhys, Mor, and Amren. There was a time when he pined after Mor, but that was so long ago.
“I am perfectly content as I am,” I go on, trying to convince them or myself I am not certain. I pick up my silverware yet again and make another attempt at finishing my supper. My carrots have gone cold. I hate cold carrots.
“Back to the ball,” Rhys says, sitting back in his chair and stretching out his legs. “You’re going.”
“I am not going.”
“If you’re not going, then we do not go. If we do not go, we will be sad.”
“Your sadness is none of my concern.”
“Now you’re just being mean.” Rhys pours himself another glass of wine while Azriel’s eyes swivel between us. “If this is about Lady—”
“Lady Mandray is none of my concern.” Perhaps I should have waited for his sentence to end before mine began, but I have never been good at holding my tongue.
“If she is none of your concern, then you will join us,” he says, smoothly, and he knows he’s already won before I even begin to resign. “We will drink their champagne and dance across their perfectly polished floors until sunrise while we are still young enough to do so.”
Azriel finally finishes his third plate of food and sits back with a groan as I sigh. “You’re intolerable.”
“He takes that as a compliment, you know,” Azriel murmurs, and I’m afraid he’s correct. There’s always been a darkness to Rhysand. Not an evilness, never evil, but a certain…edge. A certain slyness, a manipulation of sorts. In another life, I’m convinced he ruled his own kingdom.
Kingdoms.
“I will join you,” I say, at last, and Rhys grins as he dwells in his victory.
I, however, feel nothing but unease. The thought of seeing Lady Nesta again so soon both excites and revolts me. I haven’t been able to get her face out of my mind, haven’t been able to shake that feeling that I had when I spoke to her.
Even though I was lost and she surely thinks me a fool.
No matter. She can think me a fool as long as she’s thinking of me.
The Mother knows I’ve been thinking about her.
#nessian#period au#regency au#19th century au#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acosf#acofas#fanfic#fanfiction#au#sjm
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I have the last instalment of my little PRIDE fic thing I was doing for June. And yes I know it's been July for more than a week but we queer every day so it's whatever. Anyway in this one we have my own ship from the ACOTAR series from Sarah J Maas. It's for Nesta and Morrigan. Yes I know they both have people, well at least Nesta does. I love Emerie and Morrigan so don't come at me. Still though, I like Mor and Nesta and I really don't like how they have barely any interactions but that's ok I made some here hehe. Enjoy and don't hate too much k. ;)
PRIDE - Effortless
The House of Wind felt different. Ever since a certain Made being had taken residence in it. For some reason it felt alive. It had before, but now it was as if it was a sentient being. It was curious that in all the time spent in the house it had never felt this way until now.
Curtains were drawn in the study letting natural light in. The veritas sat atop the desk waiting to draw her memories and play them back to Nesta. To teach her dances of the Night Court so that she may use her charms on Eris.
At least that was what Rhysand had said. She had accepted of course. She would do anything to aid her cousin, her High Lord. Yet Morrigan loathed the fact that she would be throwing the newly Made female to the lions. It irked her that she had been tasked with giving Nesta the tools which could very well place a target on her back.
Morrigan had always kept her distance from Nesta.
At first it had to do with the fact that she, like everyone else, blamed her for letting a child like Feyre be the one to protect them when she was entirely able to do it herself. After getting to know them though, her opinion of the eldest Archeron sister changed. It was still not right for Nesta to put the burden solely on Feyre as she had done for so many years but she could understand why Nesta had allowed it.
Some time later, when a human Nesta went into the cauldron and emerged a High Fae the reason to keep her distance shifted. Morrigan could tell Nesta hated everything about the change. The new fae kept everyone but her younger sister at arms length. She wanted nothing to do with them or their court and did her best to create a barrier around herself and her sister. Thus Morrigan had stayed away and only watched her from afar.
Now, the reasons for the distance were something different altogether. There was the fact that even though she was well aware there was nothing she could have done, Nesta’s father had perished right under their noses. She knew the female did not blame any of them and neither did the rest of the Archeron sisters but there was always a tiny irrational part of herself that told her she should have been able to save him.
And then there was the reason she kept buried deep within herself. The reason why she kept as far away from her as she possibly could. The reason that kept her from helping Nesta even knowing how broken she was.
At some point in those short months stuck watching over Elaine and Nesta before Feyre had returned, something inside of her changed. The one thing she thought she would never feel. Something so deep it felt painful to hide. Something she could not allow. Especially after confirming with her own eyes that her best friend and Nesta were destined to be.
Nesta and Cassian were mates. Their bond was unbreakable, sacred. And Morrigan could not, would not, get in the way of something like that. She had no right. Helping Nesta heal fell to Cassian not her. Even it felt like dying to look within her grey eyes. Even though Nesta’s pain shined through in a way that made it hard to breathe Morrigan had to stay away. Who could stand in the way of such a bond.
“You’re here.”
Morrigan took a deep breath before turning to the door, where Nesta now stood. “I’m here.”
Nesta nodded and walked in, her steps toward her felt hesitant, almost strained, but Morrigan did not comment on them. She took the veritas in her hands and moved closer to the other female. The orb of truth was cool to the touch but it was the magic within she could feel throbbing at her fingertips.
“This is the veritas. You’ve seen it before. It’s imbued with truth magic. I shall be using it to show you the dances. If you have any questions ask.” She kept her words short and to the point in order to draw a clear line between them.
Wordlessly, Nesta came closer, her grey eyes drawn to the orb. Music filled the air as her memories played in the veritas. The Night Court came into view after a second. The ballroom was full of High Fae and a waltz was playing. Nesta watched the scene unfold silently, her eyes glinting in wonder.
Morrigan had never witnessed that before, the look on her face sent her heart into a gallop. Before long the scene shifted to another then another. Those grey eyes were glued to the orb in her hands and Morrigan thanked the mother for it.
As time went on she could feel Nesta coming closer in an attempt to get a better view and for once Morrigan allowed herself to enjoy their proximity. Nesta’s scent flowed to her, tickling her nose and it was then that the atmosphere changed.
Suddenly the veritas glowed and went dark, taking away the music and the dance. Nesta threw her a questioning glance and Morrigan only shrugged, halting any hateful words which may come out. She put the veritas down and took a few steps away doing her best to clear the scent of her nose. Not because it was Nesta’s, no. But because mixed with that sweet scent was Cassian’s.
“Something the matter?” Nesta asked.
“No. But you’ll need to change out of those training leathers if you want to practice. Go bathe and put on a simple dress. I can wait.”
“Bathe?” Nesta looked at her as if she had somehow grown a second head. “I suppose I can do that. I’ll be back soon.”
“Right.”
As soon as Nesta left the room Morrigan released a deep breath. The scents lingered in her nose making her twitch slightly. With a defeated sigh she made her way towards the window sill and sat quietly. Her mind was a jumble of thoughts she could not control.
Nesta and Cassian under the same roof and practically alone. Of course things would progress that way between mates, even those who did not acknowledge it to anyone else. It had taken them long enough, had it not?
A strange presence brought her out of her thoughts. It did not feel threatening in any way but it was there. Glancing behind her she noticed a small table atop which a small bowl full of roasted coffee beans sat.
Morrigan stared at the bowl in confusion. It had not been there before and she had not requested it yet it was there. The longer she looked at it the more confused she became. Why coffee beans?
When the rich scent reached her slightly chasing away Nesta and Cassian it clicked. Aware she would more than likely sound crazy she spoke to the house as if it were a person.
“Is this to help clear the smell?”
The fireplace sparked to life for a moment before going back out.
“I’m assuming that was a yes?”
At her question the fire flared then extinguished again.
“So you truly are alive. That is… pretty amazing.” Morrigan found herself smiling before taking a coffee bean and bringing it close to her nose. “Thanks.” Her voice came out softly.
In response she felt one of the curtains draping softly over her shoulder. Morrigan gasped softly wondering if the house, this being she never noticed, understood why she was grateful. The curtains shifted slightly as if they were trying to comfort her. In all her years she had never experienced this but rather than question it she embraced it.
“How complicated are we, huh?” She chuckled bitterly and the house responded through the fireplace just as before. “What can we do? The heart does as it wishes. You wouldn’t understand that. Would you?” She expected the fire but only silence greeted her. “I did not mean to offend. Sorry.” The curtain shifted and she smiled. “Would you happen to know of a way that could help with the scent as we work together?” In an instant another bowl of beans appeared, making her laugh. “Sticking those in my nose would not be very subtle.”
Both bowls disappeared and she sighed as she thought she would have the steel herself in order to deal with the mixed scents. She could do it. She was The Morrigan. She could do anything.
“This will not be good.”
As she rubbed at her temples a new smell began to permeate the area. Vanilla mixed with mint and wood wafted around her. She thanked the Mother and their ancestors for creating a place such as this.
“Thank you.” She breathed out reverently.
The curtain shifted on her shoulder before dropping altogether just as the door to the study swung open. Nesta walked in wearing a simple long purple dress. Where her golden brown hair had been almost coming out of her braided crown now it sat perfectly within the confines of the braid. Her grey eyes searched the study before finally landing on her.
“Would this work?”
The other female sounded a bit annoyed and Morrigan did her best not to grin, “works great. Shall we?” She offered her hand to Nesta while waving the other towards the veritas.
Reluctantly Nesta took her hand just before a waltz began to play. Together they moved through the cadences of the music. Morrigan was surprised at how the other female had completely memorized the dance from just one or two runs. She had heard from the Archeron sisters, mainly Elaine, that Nesta was an artist when it came to dancing. Truthfully, if Morrigan were not experiencing this she would not have believed it.
They continued on for another couple of hours, stopping on the few rare occasions where Nesta needed more instruction. By the end of their lesson Morrigan was well spent, not because of the dancing-never because of the dancing-but because being this close, actually touching Nesta was driving her insane. She had not missed the way Nesta let a few smiles into her face as she got lost in the music. At those moments Morrigan had done her best to not react and ignore the other female in her arms.
“Same time tomorrow?” Nesta asked before making her way out and at Morrigan’s nod she left.
Once she was gone Morrigan went back to sit at the windowsill. Elbows on her knees while cradling her face she let out a groan. A gentle thud had her raising her head and she let out another groan when she found a new bowl of coffee beans.
“Hilarious.” She rolled her eyes and she had no idea why but she felt as though she could hear the teasing giggling from the house. “This is going to be a nightmare. Please make sure to mask the scent tomorrow and every day after.”
“Talking to yourself now?”
She almost jumped out of her skin at her friend’s voice. “By the cauldron, Az! What are you even doing here?”
“I am your ride remember?” He chuckled. “Unless you changed your mind and would rather stay.”
“No. Fly me high enough that I can winnow.”
“Why do you want to teleport when I can fly you wherever you need?” He sounded offended by the mere request.
At his tone she groaned internally. “Please just fly me past the wards.”
“Fine.”
“Az-” She began but he interrupted.
“I’ll be at the terrace when you’re ready.”
He replied coldly and though she wanted to be a friend she also needed him to understand that a friend was all she wanted and needed from him. Letting out a defeated sigh she rose and looked back down at the coffee beans then rolled her eyes.
“So very funny. See you tomorrow.”
The fire bloomed to life for an instant and the curtains fluttered so she waved at nothing in particular before stepping out of the study.
***
Days of dance lessons turned into weeks and Morrigan felt proud of herself for making it thus far. The House of Wind had been very nice to her, always trying to mask the intermingled scents of Nesta and Cassian with a different variation of smells. She was certain without its help all the time spent beside the other female for their lessons would have been a living nightmare. Oh, she was tremendously grateful.
Nesta had been a stupendous student, learning every dance that came her way. Morrigan had told everyone as much. The Archeron sisters had been happy with that while everyone else still seemed skeptical. She had expected that though, since she herself had been the same way. But then she supposed once they saw it then they would understand what she meant.
In all the time spent in lessons no one had attempted to spy on them, not Azriel and thankfully not Cassian. She knew having either of them present would be a distraction in one way or another. Cassian had however asked her to teach him a few dances. Morrigan was well aware of the reason and though she felt guilty she used her teasing as a way to deter him. Watching him leave muttering to himself had her releasing a breath she had not known she was holding.
Guilt gnawed at her for days, after she had refused to help him. But the thought of aiding in their closeness would more than likely break her. Thus she swallowed her guilt and continued to enjoy the last few days she had left dancing away with Nesta.
The time spent together had been strange. It was true they did not speak much. Then again what was there to say when the music and their bodies did the speaking. One too many times Nesta had stolen her breath as she smiled and closed her eyes letting the music take care of them. Each time they danced it was as though the female was set free, her steps precise yet flowing together in harmony.
***
Time flew and the day of Winter Solstice arrived and it came down to her to prepare Nesta. It was painful to do. She had to think of Eris and what would most appeal to him. Nesta had requested she at least wore something less revealing than what Feyre and Morrigan herself would wear. The request did help her slightly.
Once she finished fixing every little detail and she took a step back to admire her work she felt the wind leave her. Nesta looked breathtakingly beautiful. The black gown accentuated her curves, silver embroidered patterns dotted around the snuggly velvet bodice as its flowy skirts swooshed the floor. Golden brown hair sat braided around her head as if it were a crown and above it a glimmering black stone tiara rested with small sapphires at its spikes.
“Can I see now?” Nesta asked, wringing her fingers as if she were nervous. A rather uncharacteristic thing coming from her.
“Uh-yes. Yes, of course.” Morrigan cleared her throat, trying mightily to calm her heartbeat. “A mirror please.”
At her request one appeared and Nesta took a step towards it so that she could finally see. A gasp came from her but nothing else. The female only admired herself in the mirror without uttering a word. Morrigan wrung her fingers as now it was her who felt nervous.
“Do you like it?” She asked tentatively.
Running her hands down her sides, Nesta let out a tiny smile, “like it? I look… I look like…” Her voice died out as she tried to figure out how to describe it.
“Like the Queen of Night.” Morrigan supplied at which Nesta turned to face her. “I think it fitting.”
“Also like death incarnate.” Nesta chuckled to which she hummed.
“Night. Death. Powerful. Stunning. You are all of those things and that is more than ok.”
At her words that silver flame swirled in Nesta’s eyes, making Morrigan gasp slightly. The female flinched and looked away as if trying to calm her dark magic. As Morrigan saw the fear of rejection take over Nesta she took a step forward.
Slowly and carefully Morrigan reached out as if the female were some spooked creature ready to bolt at an instant. Nesta tensed slightly when she reached under her chin so that she could raise her head.
“Your magic does not scare me. I respect it. However, that is not why I reacted the way I did.”
The magic swirling Nesta’s eyes calmed and went out leaving only her natural sparkly grey behind while the rigidness on her shoulders ebbed away, “then?”
Morrigan cursed at herself for even saying anything in the first place but she had to continue. She just could not bring herself to leave Nesta like that. While it was true that she would rather keep her distance from her, watching that sliver of hope in grey eyes vanish was not something she could do.
“Your darkness doesn’t scare me. People like to forget I am a child of The Court of Nightmares and though I am also a dreamer it doesn’t mean I don’t share in the dark.” She smiled. “We all have that Nesta. No one is exempt. That spark of magic you hide may not be light but it is beautiful.”
Nesta swallowed, her eyes fixed on her watching her intently before tearing her gaze away and whispering softly. “Thank you.”
They stood in silence a while longer, Morrigan still holding her chin up and Nesta seemingly enjoying the touch, until there was a knock on the door. As if burned they jumped away from each other and turned towards the door as it opened. Morrigan hoped their awkwardness was not as palpable to others as it was to her.
Feyre poked her head through and smiled as she admired her sister. The High Lady of the Night Court looked as beautiful as ever, her baby bump noticeable at last. Tonight’s celebration would serve as the perfect excuse to finally announce to the world the baby on the way.
“You look beautiful, Nesta.” Feyre smiled brightly while Nesta let a small smile onto her face.
“Thank you. I have to go check something first. See you at the terrace.”
With that the oldest Archeron sister left, not even a glance back to her. Morrigan was unsure as to what had just occurred between them but she was well aware that the same could not happen again.
“You two make a good pair.” Feyre sent her a knowing smirk.
Morrigan snapped her attention back to her High Lady, “what are you talking about?”
“Oh you know perfectly well what I’m talking about. You may be ancient but you’re not as subtle as you think.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Ok. Then let me be clear.” Feyre chuckled. “You and my sister would make a wonderful couple.”
Morrigan felt the wind leave her sails as she trembled before Feyre. For a moment fear clouded her thoughts. She tried uselessly to find a hint of disapproval or repulsion on her High Lady’s expression but there was nothing.
“Mor, it’s ok.” Her voice was soft and gentle.
Surprised, Morrigan looked at Feyre and shook her head. “How would any of this be ok?”
“You and Nes-”
“Stop. Have you any idea what you are implying? Do you understand that-”
“I understand that you have feelings for my sister. Feelings that go farther and run deeper than any bond.” Feyre walked closer and brushed away the tears Morrigan had not known she was shedding. “Why are you denying them?”
“Enough.” Morrigan pulled away, clearing her face of errant tears and turning away from her High Lady. “Cassian has gone through too much. Entirely too much has been taken away from him. I refuse to take any more.”
“Shouldn’t Nesta have a say on this decision?”
“She has also suffered through enough I will not be the cause of any more suffering. Besides she and Cassian, they-”
“You know, I thought we’d have so much trouble with the glamour to mask the scents.” Feyre’s words made her turn back around while pain singed every part of her.
“I did not think you would be this cruel.”
“It was no trouble, actually. We thought his scent would linger but it looks like she hasn’t been with him. She’s been abstinent ever since you started your lessons. Why do you think that is?” Feyre tilted her head with her question.
A spark of hope ignited within Morrigan but just as quickly it died out. She could not allow herself to hope. She could not allow herself to wish. Allowing herself to believe that maybe something could come of this was a sure way to break herself.
“Again. I did not think you would be this cruel.”
“Mor-”
“Please, stop. I do not require a matchmaker, Feyre. Especially not one that wants to lead me to pain.”
“I’m not trying-”
“You are!” Morrigan exclaimed and watched a flash of hurt and guilt pass through her friend and High Lady’s eyes. “I know you mean well. But please, no more.”
“I’m sorry, Mor.” Feyre fiddled with her fingers before coming closer. “Can I just say one more thing?”
“You will either way.” Morrigan let out a sigh. “Go on.”
“We are human.” Feyre began and Morrigan only watched her confusedly, making her chuckle. “Well, we are fae but we began as humans. We think as humans. We behave as humans. We feel as human. In my case the pull I feel to Rhys is only intensified by what my human heart feels for him. Our bond is there and it's true but had he not won my heart I don’t think it would be as it is now.” She allowed the words to sink in before continuing on. “I’m not saying Cass can’t do that too but to me it looks like Nesta’s heart hasn’t and won’t be won by him.”
“You talk as if this were a competition. Nesta is not some prize to be won.”
“It was just an analogy. Still you're right. She’s not some trophy to be won. She’s a person with a complicated heart and feelings. And I can say all I want about who I think is better with her but it’s Nesta who will choose in the end.” Feyre smiled. “Anyway, I’m sorry for making you hurt. I just want you to be happy, Mor, and if my sister does that then I want you to know I’m happy with it.”
“What about our friend? Cassian is important.”
“He is and so are you. You are both my friends and I will be there for the both of you.” Feyre rubbed her arm before linking it with hers. “Let’s go. Rhys is calling.”
Morrigan looked at her with a frown. Usually if Rhysand sent a message to her mind she would hear him as clearly as if he were next to her. “I must have missed him.”
Feyre chuckled. “Oh he tried, but your mental shield is pretty dense right now. We would need to force our way through.”
“Oh, I-”
“It’s fine. I know what you’re guarding in there. But enough of that. Let’s go before he comes on a hunt.”
***
Enchanting. Ethereal. Enthralling.
Morrigan stood frozen to the spot as she watched Nesta dance. She had heard that the Illyrians referred to her as a witch and watching her now, Morrigan was inclined to agree with them. The eldest Archeron sister had enraptured the entirety of the Court of Nightmares. Chatter had died out and only the music remained while all eyes were on the dancing high fae. Nesta was a witch and she had bewitched them all. Ensnared them with her movements and seized their every thought.
Eris looked ecstatic and Morrigan wanted nothing more than to drag the son of autumn through the pits of hell. Nesta was doing a wonderful job of wrapping him around her little finger. Despite knowing it was just for show, the smiles and coy glances made her blood boil.
“Control yourself, girl.”
Morrigan’s gaze snapped away from the dancing pair and focused on the short female beside her, “I did not expect you to come, Amren.”
“Neither did I. I was only-”
“Worried about your protege and friend.” Morrigan cut her with a smirk.
“Silence.” Amren glared at her and Morrigan could not help but chuckle at the female’s inability to accept her feelings. “As I was saying, you need to control that ire. It is seeping through the fake smile.”
“I have no idea what-”
“Save us both the time and just accept it.” Amren threw her an exasperated glance. “At first I thought it was just the natural disdain for that waste of space from autumn. However it seems to me it is not only the past anger that is consuming you but the fact that the autumn thrash is dancing with her.”
“Quiet.” Morrigan glared at her.
“The bat boys may not see it but I see it clear as day, girl.” Amren shrugged then focused back on the dancing pair. “The Queen of Death and the Queen of Truth together would rip the world from its hinges.” The short female looked back at her and grinned devilishly. “I think I would enjoy the chaos such a union would bring. See you later.”
“A-are you not staying?” Morrigan stuttered and crossed her arms across her chest.
“I grow bored of this place. She is an amazing dancer but I have had enough of watching. Besides, she is rather well protected.”
With that the tiny ancient one disappeared, leaving Morrigan alone with her thoughts. She turned her attention back to Nesta and Eris and noticed how Azriel was trying his best to control Cassian. Morrigan could not decide if his jealousy stemmed from love or the territorialism that came with the mate bond. She knew where her jealousy and anger stemmed from and she hated that it came from that. Feyre and Amren’s words ringed in her ears as she watched Nesta but she knew even with their words of encouragement she could do nothing but distance herself once more. It was in the shadows and she belonged. She was meant to reside only in the outskirts of Nesta’s life.
A servant walked by and she snatched a cocktail, downing it almost immediately, before tearing her gaze away from the female she had recklessly allowed herself to love.
***
Morrigan found herself alone in the balcony of the River House gazing up at the stars. She would never tire of this view. In all of her travels she had never found such a beautiful sight. Then again, this was the Night Court and as such the nights full of twinkly stars and shining moon were meant to be breathtaking.
The gift exchange had gone as predicted and everyone seemed so happy. Laughter and music spilled from the open door and though Winter Solstice was her favorite time of year she could not exactly join in the festivities. Her thoughts were flooded by just one person and that person sat next to her best friend with a soft smile.
It pained her to feel the way she felt. She hated the jealousy that crawled over her skin and heated her blood. It was not fair to anyone much less them. But watching them together hurt too much and made her so angry. She had kept her distance for so long but a mere few weeks undid the lock she had placed on her feelings long ago.
Why? Why must she feel all of this? Was this truly what she was destined to? A life of solitude. Always standing outside and looking in. Getting a glimpse of what she could have but never would.
“Aren’t you cold out here?”
A gasp escaped her and she flinched at the voice, her voice. Turning back towards the door she found herself staring into those grey eyes. The beautiful dress and equally stunning tiara were long gone despite this Nesta still looked like a queen. Her dress was simple yet elegant. Its soft silk was deep night sky blue, the collar sat just below her collarbone and its long sleeves hugged her arms tightly with tiny diamonds framing the end of the sleeves.
“I was looking for you. Is this a bad time?” Nesta asked, carefully watching her every movement.
Morrigan swallowed all her pain and smiled. “Not at all. What can I do for you?”
“I wasn’t able to get anyone a gift. I don’t exactly have money just yet but-”
“Nesta, you need not give me or anyone any gifts. I am happy you are here. Your sisters have a different light about them tonight. I know for certain it is thanks to you.” Morrigan grinned. “I think your presence is a gift enough for them.”
“Cassian said something like that.”
At the mention of the male Morrigan was once more swallowing down her pain and softly began, “he is right. Do not tell him I said that.”
“I won’t.” Nesta chuckled lightly before biting her bottom lip. “I heard you are leaving.”
Morrigan noted a hint of sadness at her tone but decided to ignore it. “That is correct. As the envoy of the Night Court, I need to bolster our relations as well as get allies for these coming battles.” Nesta said something but her voice was so soft that Morrigan had a hard time hearing her. “Pardon?”
“When?”
“When what?”
“When are you leaving, Morrigan?” Her voice came out hard and almost snapish.
“Tomorrow most likely.” Morrigan frowned.
“So soon?” Nesta asked, taking a step closer.
“I have work to do.”
“Y-you should rest.”
“I have been resting.” Morrigan watched her shift in demeanor and she could not understand why she now seemed so distraught. “Are you alright, Nesta?”
“I need to give you your gift.”
“W-what?”
“Could you come with me?” Nesta fiddled with one of her sleeves while looking at the floor.
“I suppose?”
With that the other female turned and marched into the house. Utterly confused, Morrigan only followed after her.
They silently walked down the hallway, the laughter, conversations, and music slowly fading away until they reached the library. Nesta opened the door and motioned for her to step inside. Still confused but wanting to find out just what Nesta wanted to give her, Morrigan stepped into the room.
The high ceiling of the library had been glamoured to mirror the night sky above. Stars twinkled and danced and Morrigan reached to touch them. As her finger brushed against one it went shooting the other way as if it had been a shooting star.
Nesta drew her attention by clearing her throat. “There is a dance we never did. I learned on my own. You showed me a few times but we never did do it.”
“The Specere.” Morrigan whispered.
“Yes. The mirror, isn’t it?”
A rush of pain and sorrow threatened to swallow her whole and she bit down the whimper that was rising in her throat. “D-do you know of its origin”
Nesta frowned and shook her head.
“We have been told that the dance was created by two high fae. They were deeply in love but they were not meant to be. At least by their family standards the two just did not fit together, not in their eyes. In defiance they made a dance. Each time a song played they would dance, following each other’s stances and movements. There was never a right or wrong move yet somehow they mirrored each other with precision. It is said that their love was what moved them in perfect synchrony.” Morrigan looked at the ceiling of the library and let out a deep breath.
“Did they…”
“End up together?” Morrigan finished for Nesta who nodded. “Nobody knows. It is just a story.”
“So what I learned…”
“Is an interpretation of it.” She supplied for her. “The way I have seen someone dance it.”
Nesta thought for a moment before walking closer, “then let's make our own. I want this dance to be your gift.”
“Nesta-”
“Please?”
The other female extended a hand with a hopeful look in her eyes and Morrigan found herself unable to deny her. Nesta glanced to a table and following her gaze, Morrigan found the veritas. The female before pressed her lips together and Morrigan could only laugh. She waved her hand at it and immediately music flooded the library.
Together they danced. At the beginning Morrigan could recall the movements from what she had seen time and time before but soon enough they were dancing with their own moves. They mirrored each other perfectly and Morrigan could only smile as they did. At times they drew close only to step back and twirl. It felt as though they were lost in waves. Crashing in only to recede back. Once the song came to its final notes they stood closer than they had during their dance, their gazes locked in each other’s and a light sheet of sweat lining their skin while they panted.
Nesta broke the silence first, “I guess the end of the story is up to us. We can decide what happens.”
“Tell me then. What happens at the end?”
“They’re together. Because to hell with their families. If their love is strong enough to reflect in their dancing, if they move together without having to utter a single word then why would they not be with each other?”
The question punched a hole through Morrigan and she could feel tears prickling her eyes. With a shaky breath she pulled away trying to calm her quick beating heart. Nesta only watched her, not saying another word. In those grey Morrigan saw things she did not understand.
“I… thank you for my gift.” She managed to say before turning away. “I should get going. I need to rest.”
Quick steps echoed through the library and a hand wrapped around hers. “What do you want from me?”
Morrigan had no idea why she was asking that but replied nonetheless. “I am in no position to ask anything of you.” She glanced over her shoulder and found her own pain reflected back.
“What if I ask for something, then?”
“I will give you anything.” Morrigan said without hesitation.
“Then if I want you to answer two questions with only the truth, will you?” There was a steely look in her grey eyes that spelled trouble but Morrigan could not help herself.
“My magic is truth. I could never taint it with a lie.” She replied softly.
“I want your word.” Nesta insisted. “For my next two questions I want only the truth without dubious answers or wordplay and in return I will give you the same.”
Morrigan tilted her head at Nesta’s wording but thought nothing of it. The other female had only been in the Night Court briefly and she would surely not know how to make a bargain, at least not one which could involve a tattoo. On top of that, Morrigan had already said she would only reply with truth.
“You have my word.”
“Then it’s a bargain.”
At Nesta’s words, black lines etched themselves around her hand and fingers. Morrigan stood staring wide eyed as a tattoo formed on her own hand mirroring Nesta’s. She had been totally wrong when she thought Nesta would not know.
“Uh-”
“No questions yet.” Nesta cut her off quickly. “I’m part of the Night Court too. And I’m a quick learner. Now you’re bound.”
“You did not need to do this.” Morrigan stepped away from the other female.
“I want straight answers. I’ve had enough of your cousin's wordplay. Besides, even if you would not lie you may still hide things and I don’t want that.”
Panic rose to Morrigan’s chest and the thought of the questions she would be asked. She wanted to run. Run far enough that Nesta’s questions would not reach her ears. Distance, she wanted distance. She could winnow to her estate and then she would be gone and there would be no questions and no one else getting hurt.
“Please, don’t leave.” Nesta’s voice sounded so small while she pleaded that Morrigan stood still, once more unable to deny her. “It won’t be too complicated. I won’t ask you to reveal any secrets.”
Morrigan held her hands together in front of her and tore her gaze away from Nesta before speaking, “then ask.”
“Am I…” Nesta’s voice broke slightly, making Morrigan look back at her, “am I enough?”
“You must have lost your mind in order to ask something like that.”
Morrigan allowed her tears to slide down her cheeks. She could not comprehend how Nesta still thought so poorly of herself. How she could not see what her sisters, her friends, and she herself saw. It was incomprehensible.
“I just need you to say it.” Nesta’s own cheeks were lined with tears, her eyes closed.
“Oh Nesta,” Morrigan gently cleared Nesta’s tears away, “you are enough. What you did in the past does not change what you are doing now. It is also true that what you are doing now does not erase your past. But the past is the past and it that is where it shall stay. So yes, you are more than enough. And you are so loved for the person that you are. I hate that you cannot see what we can.”
Bottom lip quivering Nesta took a deep breath and looked at her, “then why are you, unlike my sisters, running away from me?”
“N-Nesta please, ask something else. P-please.” Pain, physical pain laced up her arm making her wince.
“I want to know. I want to understand.” Nesta’s gaze intensified and the swirling silver flames began to dance in her eyes. “I know what you feel for me. I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it. So tell me why, despite that, you are running away from me?”
“I-I cannot… ah!” Pain shut up her arm and into her chest.
“You have to tell me. Morrigan, you have to.”
Minutes of excruciating pain went by as she tried to fight the bargain but Nesta stood her ground and would not budge. Breathing was becoming slightly harder and she fell to her knees, the other female following suit.
“Please, Morrigan. Please, tell me.”
“Because me staying will hurt too much.” She let out heavily, feeling the pain receding. “Me staying by your side without being able to do anything else will kill me. But then, in the slight chance that you want something more that will mean others will be in pain.” Morrigan hiccuped and watched tears running down Nesta’s face while she shook her head. “It is not fair. Not for me or you or Cassian… he is your mate, Nesta. I cannot take you away from him. You two are meant to be together. Your bond-”
“To hell with the bond!” Nesta exclaimed and stood up to pace the room. “I didn’t ask for it. I get to choose. Me! Not some ancient rule that is more based on whether your offspring will be good or not. It is ridiculous that you all let some moronic thing from millenia ago dictate who you will be with. And it is not fair.” She turned back to face her, taking a deep. “Cassian is important to me. I won’t deny it. He has helped me through awful times.”
“Then what do you want from me?” Morrigan said in between whimpers as she looked at her from where she kneeled on the ground.
“I want you to stay… with me. I want you to stay.” Nesta answered quickly as if compelled to do so, which meant the bargain was still active on her side.
“Nesta…”
“I wanted to feel.” Nesta interrupted and Morrigan closed her mouth and listened. “I wanted to feel something. It sounds and is so selfish. I wanted to feel so I used him to feel. It wasn’t until he was between my legs that the numbness went away. I’d lose myself and the power thrumming beneath my skin would just stop.”
Her words clanged through Morrigan bringing way more pain than what trying to abstain from answering her had brought. “I think that is enough. There is no need for you to say anything else.”
“But then you…” Nesta’s voice wavered, drawing Morrigan back. “You made me feel by just standing there. Even before everything happened you were a constant in my head. With him there’s always the need for more from me but you… with you everything is so different. You haven’t silenced my fire, you've embraced it. My magic doesn’t go away when I’m with you, it calms, it becomes mine. Being with you feels so effortless.” Kneeling once more before her, Nesta took her hands in her own. “You can’t leave. I need you here.”
“But Cassian-”
“Can you think about yourself now? Just yourself. Please.” Nesta cried, her tears coming down in droves.
Morrigan shook her head, “I-”
“Ask me.” Nesta said quickly, squeezing her hands. “Ask me, Morrigan.”
Morrigan watched her, the question she wanted to ask surfacing inside her head almost instantly. Effortless, Nesta had said. Being with her felt effortless to Nesta. But Morrigan knew well that dealing with the repercussions of allowing this to happen would be anything but. They would have to deal with both Cassian and Azriel, and who knew what Rhysand thought of it all. Amren had been right, being together would bring chaos. It could divide their circle at a point in time when they needed to be closer than ever. There were too many unknowns, their very lives were being threatened as it was.
“Mor… p-please, ask me.”
Nesta pressed her hand to Morrigan’s cheek, making her whimper at the touch. She needed Nesta. She needed her so much. And she was right, distancing themselves when something could come of this was absurd. It was not fair at all. There would be so much pain and not only for her.
“Mor.”
Taking a deep breath, Morrigan leaned into Nesta’s hand and briefly closed her eyes before opening them once more. “D-do you… do you love me?”
Nesta smiled as more tears ran down her face, “yes. I love you in a way I never thought possible.”
Morrigan laughed softly through her tears and felt her whole body begin to tremble as Nesta grew nearer. Her scent surrounded Morrigan in an instant and unlike before she need not brace herself because the scent was just her, it was only Nesta. Their breaths mingled while Nesta now cradled her face, her touch ever so gentle as one wrong move and she would break. Then she stopped moving forward, not in hesitation but to ensure Morrigan wanted the same thing she did.
“Yes.” Morrigan whispered.
Without a second thought, Nesta’s lips were moving on top of hers and in the world there was only them. She knew Nesta’s lips were soft from looking at them but feeling their softness now was a different matter. They moved together in their own dance. It built up with each second, going from soft and chaste to intense and passionate. Morrigan had been alive for so long and had kissed so many others and yet she had never felt this. She could feel it everywhere. In the pit of her stomach. At the tip of her fingers. Rushing from her head to the bottom of her feet.
There had always been something missing and now she knew the missing piece was Nesta. Her blood rushed for her, burned for her. Her heart sang its song and her soul intermingled with hers. The kiss tore her world and formed it anew. She could not believe she wanted to run from this. By the mother, why had she waited this long? This was what she needed to finally be whole. They were not mates like Feyre and Rhysand or her own parents. But their connection to each other was just as strong.
When they finally broke away, their foreheads pressed together and panting, matching smiles etched into their faces. Morrigan knew what would come from this. The good and the bad. However, if she had Nesta she could care less about it. She knew the people they would have to face. But if she had to in order to be like this then let them come. She would face it all.
“I know the bargain is fulfilled but…” Nesta bit her lip and looked away.
Morrigan knew what she wanted to ask already and she grinned. “I did not expect you to be this… soft.”
“I’m not soft.” Nesta glared for a few seconds before letting out a breath. “Only with you.” She admitted reluctantly.
“I may have noticed.” Morrigan chuckled as the other female grumbled. “Nesta?”
“What?”
“I also love you.”
Nesta tried and failed to hide her smile but the moment Morrigan was going to point it out the other female stopped her with yet another kiss. Once more the world fell away, leaving only them. As they parted Morrigan watched Nesta's silly smile turn into a more smug one which made her laugh and shake her head.
“You’ll still have to go. Won’t you?” Nesta’s smile withered away.
Morrigan pulled away only to place a kiss on her forehead. “I do. What I said about being an envoy remains true. I have to bolster our relations with other territories and get us allies.”
“I see.”
“But I still need some rest.”
“You do?”
“I do.” Morrigan watched as a smile grew once more in Nesta’s face and she mirrored it. “I need you to listen to me, alright?” At Nesta’s nod she placed a light kiss on her nose before continuing. “Even when I have to go I need you to understand that I will always come back to you. Always, Nesta.”
“You… you…” Nesta huffed slightly. “You promise?”
“I swear.”
“This is going to be messy.” Nesta mused but soon a smile illuminated her face. “But you’ll always come back to me.”
Morrigan nodded and pecked her lips just because she could. “I will always come back to you. I will not distance myself from you anymore. I swear it. Now… would you like to come rest with me?”
“Just like that?” Nessta smiled.
“I have a feeling I can just tell your sister and at least for tonight and the next few days we can delay facing the mess. Unless you would rather do it now? I will do whatever you want.”
“Let’s go rest, like you say.”
Morrigan let out a giggle which Nesta echoed. “I really do love you.”
“You know I do too.”
“I think you will enjoy Athelwood.”
“Athelwood?”
“My home away from everyone else, where we can be alone.”
Nesta smiled devilishly, “I like the sound of that. I really like it."
"I am glad you do."
#Mesta#nesta archeron#the morrigan#acotar#A Court of Silver Flames#mor x nesta#nesta x morrigan#happy pride 🌈
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The more I think about the Feysand pregnancy arc in acosf the more annoyed I get. It's not about them wanting a child, it's about the plotholes and all the made up bs that resulted in this totally unnecessary drama.
So the main issue was that the baby had wings despite being quarter Illyrian because Feyre shapeshifted during their sexy time. But in acomaf when she starts to learn how to fly, she shapefshifts her wings based on the batboys wings - how in the earth did she alter her whole anatomy to be of an Illyrian woman?? If the pelvis was an issue Rhys probably knew (and Feyre too apparently if she changed herself), why didn't they discussed it beforehand like responsible adults? They were actively trying for a baby at that point, why did noone think about this could be an issue (even if the baby is only quarter Illyrian)? Rhys could have said something like 'hey darling, you know there are risks if the baby has wings since you don't have the anatomy of Illyrian women, maybe we should cut it out with the wingsex for a while'? For me, this is the biggest plothole in the whole narrative of this arc.
You tell me that in a world where they could heal Azriel who had a poisoned arrow shot right in his heart, regrow Cassian's wings that were shredded to pieces, heal Cassian from a would that was so deep his guts were hanging out, they could never in their 20.000+ year history perform a successful C-section? How is this even justified?
Feysand having a baby at a time when their continent is on the verge of war again combined with their stupid bargain results in two things: They either put themselves in the backburner and sit out every conflict for the next at least 18 years which would be interesting since they are High Lord and High Lady, or they risk their kid being orphaned.... Again, like...... ???
The whole birth drama totally undermined the fact that Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie made actual history (esp. Gwyn and Emerie!). They won the Blood Rite and everyone was like 'oh well, AnYwAyy the BABY'. Please...
I don't even want to mention how Rhys dealt with this whole situation and then blamed it on Nesta when it blew up in his face, I think that was discussed a lot
Whew sorry for this rant, it's just the obvious and unnecessary bs-ness of this arc annoys me so much. Feysand just could have had their baby in piece, or at least sjm could have made up some fake magic-science to justify things better, because for me it really did not hit the spot.
What are your thoughts on this?
Absolutely agree with all of this!
I feel like "they were stupid" isn't a good excuse to fix the plot holes in what sjm worked really hard to show was a communicative, equal partnership/romance.
The way the fandom was STRESSING over Cassian's wings post-acomaf though, I laugh at us now. As if Miss Sarah J "handwaves it away" Maas was actually going to have him suffer long-term effects from that.
IMO, the entire pregnancy plot was SJM's way of creating reconciliation between Nesta and Feyre. That's it. Nesta saving Feyre (and by extension Rhys and Nyx) sidestepped any of the tough conversations that needed to be hand. It was so inorganic to... everything we know about Rhys, and Feyre, the IC, the magic of the world, it was inconsistent with what other characters have been through physically. But hey! It made Feyre and Nesta feel better about all the years of conflict and resentment, so whatever.
Okay and the bargain lmaooooo I argued back when acofas came out that the death bargain wasn't a big deal. I was like nah, it wasn't literal. But wow, what a way to inorganically sideline your former main characters in order to give your new main character an excuse to take center stage. Maybe if sjm hadn't made everyone so freaking overpowered all the time, then other characters besides Rhys (and now Feyre) would be able to help solve problems. But noooooo we gotta have an excuse for Rhys and Feyre to sit on their hands because otherwise, they are just Too Strong, the Strongest Ever, and because the magic is so freaking vague, now we need an excuse for Rhys to not be able to wave his hand and make problems go away like bits of lint.
I do wish that Feyre could have had a baby in peace, to not stress, to not be in danger, and most importantly, for her dumbass mate to have NOT kept that information from her. Feyre had been through enough already, just for sjm to be like "hm, how can I get these characters to not be mad at each other anymore without them actually talking like adults about it??" I understand that there needs to be conflict, there will be drama. But it didn't have to be like That. Conflict or the resolution of conflict, should not be built on a house of cards. It should feel natural to the world, the culture, characters, plot, etc.
Feysand used to be otp, and I still do like them a lot, just... pre-acosf. That book nearly ruined them for me, though.
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Hills and Valleys
Synopsis: Legend has it that Halloween is strictly for the scares. With ghouls and goblins, vampires and werewolves, witches and broomsticks, who could disagree?
However, all this friend group wanted was a little trick or treat. Sprinkle in a few party favors, loud music, and a cabin in the woods, the myth was bound to come true.
Lurking around the corner is danger like never before, eager to bring this night to a bloody finish.
So join these friends as they fight to make it through a Halloween they’ll never forget, proving that "the scare" is more than just a fantasy.
Word Count: 4027
Warnings: TRAUMA lol, detailed bloody scene
Chapter 3 - Lorenzo’s POV
Series Masterlist
“Oh my gosh, how the hell did we manage to get roped into helping you cleannnnnn,” Lynn complained.
“Guys we’ve been doing this since highschool, why are y’all acting brand new?”
“Dammit Lenny, I should’ve left while I had the chance.”
“Steph you’ve been drinking all night, how the hell were you planning on getting home without driving?” I countered.
“And as ritual would have it, I assume we’re all sleeping here then?” Emery asked.
“See, Em gets it and I got the guest room all set up for you guys.”
“Two rooms, five people. That gives us about 2-3 persons to each room,” Jason proposed. “Sugar and I are more than willing to squeeze one more in.”
“No, the hell we’re not,” she whispered.
“Woah woah woah, what do you mean five people? Where the fuck is Julez?” Steph barked.
“That sneaky bitch, she’s probably halfway back to the A right now,” Lynn suggests.
Ahhh fuck, Julez. I wouldn’t dare say it to her face but I for sure wouldn't mind if she stayed the night. Truth be told, this rift between us has gone on long enough. I was more ashamed than anything for several reasons - number one being that I was scaring the hoes. It was beyond unnecessary for me to snatch them out of their kiss like that and I felt like an antagonist straight out of a lifetime movie. Reason two being everyone saw it all go down. I swear I looked up and the lights were on, the record scratched, and this random bitch was clutching a pair of invisible pearls. Ok so it didn’t exactly go down like that, but a lot of people still saw that shit happen. And reason three being that work became awkward as hell and my coworker ended up putting in a request to transfer departments.
What’s even worse is that I’m not good with words. I’ll never in my life put a woman in any situation to feel uncomfortable or forced to do something she’s not down with. And the fact that my coworker felt the need to get away from me made me feel fifty shades of shitty.
Meanwhile Julez has actually been trying to mend things between us and like the dumbass I am, have been giving her the cold shoulder. Could you believe that? One of my best friends has been trying to squash our beef and I act like a bitch on her period.
Maybe I can blame it on my underdeveloped brain? They say men aren't fully mature until they hit 25, and even then there’s still some debate. Yeah, that’s the one. I can hear her and the girls now, cackling up a storm. They’ll never let me live it down, but it’s all good. I fucks with the homies and if communication is something I need to learn to keep them in my life, then so be it.
But after tonight tho; once I get some sleep in me and this alcohol out of my system. Hopefully Julez will be willing to hear me out, nah fuck that. I’ll fly down to Atlanta if I have to, but she’ll listen to everything I have to say whether she likes it or not.
“I mean the guest room is big enough right Steph, why don’t we let those three have it while you and I catch up for old times sake?” I teased.
“NIGGA THAT WAS ONE TIME.”
“Lenny, you know I'm down to help clean, but I'm pretty sure we can do this tomorrow,” Em yawned.
“Yeah man, I’m no lightweight but even I can barely keep my eyes open.”
“J’s right Lenny, we can finish this another time.”
Wow, it’s a full on bitch fest in here tonight.
“No we can’t Lynn, my parents are gonna be back here first thing in the morning and I need this place in pristine fucking condition,” I snarled.
“Well why would your dumbass host it here at the lakehouse then,” Steph screeched.
“Because Stephanie, it has more living room space and less valuables to steal; plus the scenery is cooler for Halloween.”
“Mhmm touché. A lake house on Halloween where there’s seclusion and nature, and creepy crawlies.”
“Really Jason,” Lynn butts in. “Since when do you like seclusion?”
“Since there’s no neighbors around to hear the sounds I’m gonna pull from you.”
“Guys please,” Steph gagged. “I know those mummy meatloafs weren’t the best, but I was really hoping they’d come out the other end.”
“Oh whatever, don’t hate just because my sex life is healthy.”
“Yeah a little too healthy. Now I see why they call you sugar,” Steph laughed.
“Dammit now I’ll never hear the end of this.”
“And y’all will never hear the end of me. COME THE FUCK ON, CLEAN AS YOU TALK.”
“Lorenzo, dude relax,” Jason chided.
“Lenny, it's not like your parents don’t know about your party lifestyle.”
“It’s not that Lynn. The lake house is in Escrow,” I explained. “The new owners are set to move in come Monday while we spend the weekend removing any last minute items.
“Ohhhh yeah, I would’ve fucked you up if I were your mom and dad,” Steph pointed out.
“Now really ain’t the time.”
Every get together is the same exact shit. They eat my food, drink my beers, then get to bitching when I need help tidying up after. We go on about how tired they are while they drag their asses and the next thing you know the sun is peeking over the horizon. What could’ve taken minutes turns into hours where we all sleep til evening and then laugh about it over some makeshift leftovers. But I’d much rather skip to the laugh over a meal part cause I’m getting real sick of the inbetweens. Next time I'll just let them host at one of their homes and see how they like it. Maybe then they’ll appreciate all the efforts I go through.
Just when I find myself ready to have another screaming match, it seems that Em has beat me to it. At first I thought she just wanted us to shut up, but the way she’s clawing at the glass has me on edge. The scratching of the window soon turns into hitting and I race over there before any real damage is done.
Grabbing both her hands, I try to pull her away from the window - my attempts damn near futile until Jason comes over, arms wrapped around her waist as we both work to calm her down. But a fist to my jaw has us pinning her to the ground entirely, concern thick in the air.
“Emery, what’s wrong? Talk to me!” I yell.
Nothing, just constant thrashing as her arms and legs flail every which way. The screaming hasn’t since stopped and I’m on the verge of having her committed because what the fuck? She was JUST fine a second ago.
Rushing over, the girls land on the floor next to her, trying but failing to understand exactly what's happening as they shake her shoulders for answers.
“Em please! Tell us what’s going on,” Steph sobbed.
“Em- Emery! EM, calm the hell down.”
“Lynn what the fuck did she see? Go and check the window,” Jason orders.
“Julez,” Em hiccups as she points to the window. “It’s fucking Julez. They’ve found me.”
“Julez? What do you mean Julez, Julez what?” I screamed.
“And who the hell is they?” Steph added
“Ohhh Em tell me you aren’t referring to the Resident Reaper?”
“Lynn, they’ve got her,” Em says weakly.
“The Resident - aye y’all what the fuck is going on?”
“Come on Lorenzo, your friend has obviously been through a lot.”
“J shouldn't have to remind you to be considerate Lenny.”
“I’m sorry Em, I- I’m still stuck on the Julez part is all, wh-what about Julez?”
A shaky finger pointed in the direction of the window is all Em can manage. Silent tears stream down her face and I get this gut feeling in the pit of my stomach that something went terribly wrong tonight.
It's like the opposite of butterflies, that instead of everything being light and airy my stomach feels heavy and sunken to the ground. But I didn’t think it could sink any further until I heard the gasp that Lynn lets out. It’s shallow and wrapped in despair, yet somehow it’s enough to have everyone flocking to the window.
I hear a mixture of sobs and screams alike and as I lock eyes with Em, I realised then and there that I wasn’t going to see my friend again. That we were never gonna get the chance to patch things up and that for the better part of a few weeks, I’ve been way too stubbornly foolish.
My feet feel frozen in place but I have to see for myself. Trudging over to the window, I stop just shy of the pane and peer out into the darkness, eyes adjusting as I try to make out what my friends are seeing. Their sobs get blocked out as I stare into the water and stumble upon the gaze of Julez.
Her eyes are bloodshot red and lifeless as she drifts with the tides, a serene scene under different circumstances. Oddly enough she looks content and I’m not necessarily religious, but I say a silent prayer to the big guy upstairs that she at least went peacefully.
Dropping to my knees I let out a sound that scares even me, roaring out my frustrations and sadness alike. That scene is something that’ll haunt me forever but what hurts most is wishing that I'd never seen it.
There’s a solemness to the air around us, thick with gloom and melancholy as everyone tries their best to gather their thoughts; scared to break the silence and confirm that this isn’t just a bad dream. Quiet sniffles and heavy breathing slices through the silent night until the stomping of feet cuts through it all.
Looking up, I see Steph marching toward the front door trying but failing to open it as she realizes that the deadbolt is locked. It's one of those deadlocks without the knob turn thingy simply because my parents felt it was better security in a house this far out. Essentially it needs a key to be unlocked.
“Dammit Lenny, why would you lock the damn door,” she shouts while jiggling the handle.
Wiping furiously at my tears, I stand up deciding that I’ll have to grieve a little later as my body goes into overdrive, panicking at the idea that someone took it upon themselves to lock us in here.
“Steph, why would I do that?”
“I’ll check the back door man,” Jason offers.
“What about the windows, any of them big enough that we could fit through?” Em questions.
“There’s bars on all the windows” Steph mumbles. “What the hell was your family trying to keep out?”
“Or maybe keep in?” Lynn induces.
“Now is not the time to place blame guys,” Em suggests.
“Back doors locked too and I’m not getting any cell service out here man."
“Alright everyone let’s just take a second to think this through,” I snapped.
There could’ve been a thousand guesses thrown my way about how I imagined this night turning out and absolutely none of them could’ve surmised just how fucked it’d get.
At worst I prepared for a nasty hangover, Tylenol on standby, not a damn murder mystery. And Julez of all people, she’s damn near the most wholesome one of the group and they- they watched as all life drained from her big, round eyes.
Dragging my palms across my cheeks, I straighten up as my body kicks into autopilot, revenge sourcing it with enough adrenaline to power through this shit show.
Even with anger coursing through my veins I can’t understand why? Why go through the trouble of killing Julez and locking us in here? It’s not like we discovered her right away, however it’s not something I have time to elaborate on. We need to find a way out of this death trap and call for help immediately
“Listen, the whole point of shitty cell service in the area is something my parents were banking on when they got this place,” I disclosed. “Some crap about family bonding time, but if I can just get to the -“
“This just gets better and better,” Steph blurted, while she rocked back and forth on her heels. “Escrow or not Lenny, I’m getting out of here even if I have to tear that door hinge from motherfucking hinge.”
“BUT IF I CAN JUST GET TO THE BEDROOM UPSTAIRS, MAYBE WE’LL GET ENOUGH SIGNAL TO CALL FOR HELP.”
“What’s so good about the bedroom upstairs,” Em questioned.
“It’s the only part of the house that picks up a bar, maybe two from the cell towers.”
“Bars on all the windows, deadbolts on all the doors, only available cell service is in the master bedroom,” Lynn criticized. “Just what the fuck were you four up to in here?”
“What are you suggesting?”
“That maybe you guys ‘family time’ went beyond the occasional movie night,” she sneered.
“Baby, enough we’re not gonna get anywhere with y’all jumping at each others throats like this.”
“YOU’RE SICK! LYNN I SWEAR IF YOU WERE ANYONE THE FUCK ELSE I’D-“
“You’d what?”
“Guys please,” Emery sobbed. “This is exactly what that asshole wants, to see us turn on one another.”
“Lynn you’re fucked up for that one and you know it,” Steph admitted. “None of this is helping, so what do we do now?”
“I think the cell service is a great start Lorenzo, but we gotta find those keys man,” Jason suggested. “Where’d you last place them?
“I remember seeing it near the deviled eggs,” I sighed.
“You max this house out to the brim for a party and don’t even bother to properly secure the keys to your own home?” Emily screeched.
Inhaling a deep breath, I tilt my head upward desperately trying to hold onto what little patience I have left. Julez is out there floating against the currents and here we are arguing over a set of keys. My friends have never really struck me as stupid, but this night is chocked full of surprises.
“New locks to this place are getting installed come Monday Em. Between my parents here this weekend and the new owners after that, I couldn’t care less who had the keys.”
“And now we’re all going to die for it,” Steph scolded.
“Shut up, all of you,” Jason yelped. “Every minute we spend here is a minute more that sick freak has the upper hand, possibly plotting.
“And unless one of you can squeeze through those bars, the only way we’re getting out of here is through that door,” Em chimed in.
“Lorenzo, think man, does your family keep a spare key anywhere around here?”
“Uhh ye- yeah, I think so. Hell if I know where it could be at this point Jason.”
“Where is it usually?” Em asks.
“By a rack near the back door.”
“There were no keys when I checked back there,” Jason pointed out. “Fuck, we need to get moving NOW.
Facial expressions hardening, I can see the socialite version of him slipping away while his military brain kicks into overdrive. Feet spread at shoulders length and arms placed firmly behind his back, Jason goes on to dictate orders to us, a small thanks on the tip of my tongue considering we were all scrambling.
He directs me to the master bedroom to try and get some signal, Em to the second bedroom, himself to the kitchen and living room, Steph to the bathroom and any miscellaneous closet doors, while Lynn works on picking the deadlock cause God only knows how she picked up such a skill. Why am I surprised tho, this is the same woman who helped me open my car door after I’d accidentally locked my keys inside; criminal ass bitch.
We all race to our respective areas, more than ready to get this night over with. Upstairs, I make a beeline for the innermost corner of the room between the bed and window.
Stretching my arms until the phone touches the ceiling, I squint my eyes until they gloss over with no luck to any flashing signal. I dial 911 only to hear the mocking tone of the operator on the other end letting me know that the number I am trying to reach is unavailable.
Picking up the expensive floral vase from the night stand, I smash it against the wall until it shatters into a thousand tiny pieces; beyond overwhelmed with how everything is going.
Before I know it, my knees connect to the wooden floor beneath me, palms circling the perimeter of my face as I bawl my eyes out; teeth sinking into my skin to muffle the screams that tear through my throat. If someone would’ve told me 24 hours ago that I’d be stuck in my own damn house while trying to evade a possible serial killer, I would’ve told them to fuck off and yet - here I am.
The rage running through my body comes to slowing stop, adrenaline all but gone as the weight of exactly what’s going on crushes me further into the floor.
Sitting up against the bed frame, eyes puffy and throat sore, I briefly wonder if it’s even worth the trouble and come to terms with the fact that I may very well not make it out of here alive.
A low gleam of light pours in from the window above and the moon in all its fullness draws me closer, the same way its gravitational pull does the earth.
Fingers cradling around the lip of the pane, I pull it up and the gust of wind that whips across my face fills me with a fresh glimmer of hope. The stars in the sky twinkle so brightly and I wonder if that's the last thing Julez saw before her untimely end; a sliver of satisfaction filling me at the thought of her final view being something so serenely scenic.
Fingers slipping into my pockets, I dig out the cell phone lodged in there and stick my hand through the bars at shoulder length. Iron jabs at my skin the further I stretch my arm through the metal while small beads of sweat gather on my forehead and palms. Tongue slipping between my teeth and over my lips, it plants itself at the corner of my mouth; a telltale sign of my concentration.
Aiming my arm higher toward the sky, it starts to burn at the sensation and I make a mental note to get back in the gym once this is over with.
“C’mon you son of a bitch, I dropped $1300 on you, the least you could do is pick up a signal.”
Angling my arm a little to the left, I stand on my tippy toes in hopes of getting lucky and the small bar that pops up in the corner of my screen is enough to ignore any discomfort my body may be feeling.
Eyes brimming over with tears, it takes everything in me not to scream through my relief, trying to stay focused on the task at hand.
Fingers swiping over those infamous three digits, I’m all but ready to hit send until my phone slips through the cracks of my hand. Watching as it free falls 20 feet to the ground, the screen breaks alongside my hope.
“Son of a BITCH,” I fumed, arms wrapped around the bars as I shook them senseless; annoyance growing once I realized that even after giving it all I had, it didn’t even budge.
After a few more minutes of me pacing around the room, I get this lightbulb moment of clarity that of the five of us left, there’s still four more phones.
Racing down the stairs in newfound anticipation, I burst through the doors of the first bedroom, all but ready to snatch Em’s cell phone; only she isn’t in there. Making my way to the front, I see the bathroom light pouring into the hallway and dash inside, eager to find someone, anyone really.
Slamming through the bathroom door, I get ready to scream the good news to Steph, yet the sight before me has me halting entirely.
Both hands covering my mouth, I have to physically swallow down the vomit that threatens to surface. Panic rises inside of me as the hands that once wrapped itself around my face now finds itself buried in my hair - frantically running through its tresses.
A low wheezing sounds from beneath me and I fly to the floor, knees sliding against the tiles until I reach her.
Blood is everywhere! Splattered drops line the walls as the once white floor slowly turns a shade of deep crimson. I look over to Steph, whose hands are weakly cradled around her neck and it’s only then that I can figure out just where all the bleeding is coming from.
“Oh shit, oh shit, shit,” I hissed. “Steph it’s gonna be alright, I just need you to hold on for a minute.”
Shuffling, I reach out to the adjacent wall to snatch a towel from the rack. Wrapping it around her throat, I try my best to make a tourniquet, loosening it as Steph starts to make these wet, gurgling noises.
Tears prickle at the corners of my eyes at the fucked up reality of this situation and the fact that I can’t even sit down long enough to process just what the hell is even going on anymore.
With the towel securely placed around the wound, blood rapidly seeps through the cloth, my face sinking at the realisation of how futile my efforts are and how quickly she needs professional help.
“AYEEEEEEEEE,” I screeched. “YOU GUYS GET IN HERE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.”
Applying enough pressure to the wound to try and stop the bleeding but light enough that I don’t choke her, I finally let my tears fall.
Shoulders sagging and chest heaving, my body is physically exhausted from this terror filled night. My best fucking friend is getting paler by the minute and the blood that gushes from her neck shows no sign of slowing down. The pool of liquid quickly spreads beneath us and sinks into the tiled creases and I can’t help the wail that escapes me.
“Steph, baby talk to me,” I pleaded. “Who did this to you?”
Heavy footsteps approach the doorway and I hear a muddled mixture of screams.
Stephs raspy voice pulls me in and her whispered tone is indecipherable. Wrapping her in my arms, I quietly shush her as I rock us back and forth, urging her to save her voice and energy until we can get some help.
Feet splashing through the blood and plopping beside me, it takes a minute for me to notice that it's Lynn, begging for answers.
“I don’t fucking know Lynn, for goodness sake make yourself useful.”
“Both of you shut up,” Jason barks. “Dude tell me you got enough service to get us some hel- to get Steph some help.”
Silence is all I can muster up in this moment and yet it's enough to answer their million dollar question.
Jason frantically paces the floor, Lynn is hovering over Steph yelling out questions and assurances alike, and Em is sliding down the wall, legs cupped between her arms.
Stephs slow breaths stop hitting my neck, her light wheezing all but gone and it's then that the crushing weight of her passing dawns on me.
Eyes tightly squeezed shut, they do very little to stop the onslaught of tears, my rocking now intensified. Lynn catches on and her high pitched shriek sends a ripple effect of anguish into the air.
A deafening silence falls on the group, and after what feels like forever, a gut wrenching realisation hits me that it’s one of us - it’s one of us hurting our friends.
#Emmy Writes#Emmy Tries#Spooky Szn#Halloween Kills#Halloween Series#Halloween#Hills and Valleys#Original Story and Characters#Horror#Drama is on THEE way#things def heat up here#rubs hands like birdman
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hi! I was wondering if you had any recommendations about a fantasy novel set at a university? preferably adult with college-aged MCs, but older YA is also fine :)
any rep is great, but sapphic would be amazing!
Hmm, the very closest thing I can think of is Help Wanted by J. Emery, but it's a pretty good fit, though short! (It is in fact a novella)
Em is confused about a lot of things: who she is, what she wants, how she’s going to pass Alchemy when she’s awful at it. The one thing she’s not confused about is how much she wants to buy her best friend (and college roommate) the best birthday present ever. Luckily the local magic supply shop is hiring.
Her plan to get a job there would be working perfectly if not for her coworker Phineas who is in turns aggravating and endearingly awkward. She’s not sure if she wants to date him or wants to be him. The more time they spend together the more she thinks it may be both.
Help Wanted is an 18,000 word novella with a gender and sexuality questioning f/m romance. It is the first in a new series about students at a contemporary magic college.
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Romance Book Recommendations
Here is a complete guide to books I would recommend without question to anyone looking to read romance. This was, in fact, the shortest I could get it so have fun!
Straight Sci/Fi Fantasy romance
The A.I. Who Loved Me by Alyssa Cole
that time i got drunk and saved a demon by kimberly lemming
Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert
Straight Historical
Wild Rain by Beverly Jenkins
The Duke who didn't by courtney Milan
Unclaimed by Courtney Milan
Trans Historical
A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall M/F (transfemme)
Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian M/N
Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall N/N
Sapphic Historical
The Perks of Loving a Wallflower by Erica Ridley
The Lady’s Guide To Celestial Machanics by Olivia Waite
That Could be Enough By Alyssa Cole
Gay Historical
The Gentleman's Book of Vices by Jess Everlee
The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by K.J. Charles
We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian
Tommy Cabot Was Here by Cat Sebastian
Slippery Creatures by K.J. Charles
Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall
It Takes Two to Tumble by Cat sebastian
Two Rogues Make a Right by Cat Sebastian
Sapphic Fantasy Romance
Walk Between Worlds by Samara Breger
The Rogue Crown by A. K. Mulford (third book in a series first two have m/f pairings)
A Song of Silver and Gold by Melissa Karibian
Can’t spell treason without tea by Rebecca Thorne
A Restless Truth by Freya Marske
Trans Fantasy Romance
The Demon's Bargain by Katee Robert F/N
The Evergreen Heir by A. K. Mulford N/M
Gay Fantasy Romance
Socially Orcward by Lisa Henry & Sarah Honey
Red Heir by Lisa Henry & Sarah Honey
a marvellous light by Freya Marske
wolfsong by t.j. klune (series)
A Veil of Gods and Kings by Nicole Bailey (series)
A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland
A Strange and Stubborn Endurance by Foz Meadows (read TW)
Witchmark by C. L. Polk (series)
Reforged by Seth Haddon
Frostbite by J Emery
A Rival Most Vial by R. K. Ashwick
The Magpie Lord by K.J. Charles
Bisclavret by K L Noone
Human Enough by E.S. Yu
From The Dark We Came and Help Wanted by J. Emery
Poly Fantasy Romance
Wicked Beauty by Katee Robert
Elf Defence by Lisa Henry & Sarah Honey
Sapphic Contemporary Romance
D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding by Chencia C. Higgins
Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail by Ashley Herring Blake
Delilah Green Doesn't Care by Ashley Herring Blake
Sorry, Bro by Taleen Voskuni
How to Find a Princess by Alyssa Cole
M/F Contemporary Romance (Some Bi and Ace)
A Merry Little Meet Cute by Julie Murphy, Sierra Simone
Scandalized by Ivy Owens
A Thorn in the Saddle by Rebekah Weatherspoon
The Comeback by Lily Chu
Forget Me Not by Julie Soto
Knot My Type by Evie Mitchell
Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert
Take a hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert
Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert
Haven by Rebekah Weatherspoon
Rafe by Rebekah Weatherspoon
Xeni by by Rebekah Weatherspoon
Trade Me by Courtney Milan
The Romantic Agenda by Claire Kann
Gay Contemporary Romance
A Dash of Salt and Pepper by Kosoko Jackson
The Missing Page by Cat Sebastian
Something Wild & Wonderful by Anita Kelly
The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun
The Hate Project by Kris Ripper
Counterpoint by Anna Zabo
Just Like That by Cole Mccade
Syncopation by Anna Zabo
Poly Contemporary Romance
The Life Revamp by Kris Ripper
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March reads
Be Holding by Ross Gay
Slippery Creatures by K.J. Charles
Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant by Curtis Chin
City of Laughter by Temim Fruchter
The Summer of Bitter and Sweet by Jen Ferguson
Murder Book by Hilary Fitzgerald Campbell
Here, the World Entire by Anwen Kya Hayward
The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow
World of Wonders by Aimee Nezhukumatathil
House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland
The Worst Best Man by Mia Sosa
Consort of Fire by Kit Rocha
Wild Geese by Soula Emmanuel
I Didn’t Sign Up For This by Anita Kelly
Help Wanted by J. Emery
Our Hideous Progeny by C.E. McGill
Camp Sunshine by Jarrett J. Krosoczka
Notes on an Execution by Danya Kukafka
A Love Song for Ricki Wilde by Tia Williams
How to Get Over the End of the World by Hal Schrieve
Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake
The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw
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Greetings nike! So im nee to the fandom but i saw that sarah has said this in some interview:
Sarah J Maas in 2021: Yeah, and, I mean, there are some characters in this book [ACOSF] that, I don't want to spoil things, but, like, you can kind of tell, like, how I'm setting them up for future books?
and i didnt know this and im scared this means gwyn might play a bigger role because i thought she claimed the characters just expand the world and nothing else but now shes saying shes setting them up and im confused. Any help or advice? I dont want a book about the valkyries or any new character before elains
No, I think it definitely referred to Elain and Azriel and Elain's book.
The biggest indicator is Elain stepping up and volunteering to look for the Trove, PLUS saying that she needs to 'dust off her powers'. PLUS Amren saying not to underestimate Elain who is more than capable of taking care of herself.
PLUS of course the set up of the Elriel romance and especially Azriel's feelings for Elain.
The repetitive reminders of Azriel saving Elain from Hybern.
The mysterious 4th Trove which is 'veiled in shadow' (and who is veiled in shadows in the books? Azriel!) which Nesta only glimpsed, but wasn't able to actually get to.
Who is left with Cauldron-given powers? Elain.
So yeah, the set up was all there--for Elain.
(Gwyn went back to the library)
Also, all of that aside, why do people just automatically assume that any of this refers to Gwyn in general?
There are a bunch of secondary characters who've been in books longer and are playing a much more important role than Gwyn?
Like what about Eris who's been there in some way or another since ACOMAF?
What about Emerie? The first female Carynthian, a clipped Illyrian woman who achieved what only 5 males were able to achieve in the past 500 years?
What about Amren?
Mor?
It's so crazy to me that people actually think that everything would be dropped and pushed aside for Gwyn? Why? Because someone on TikTok wants that?
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How do you think Gwyn's SA will be handled in acotar 5? One side of the fandom treats her SA like sh*t, that is clear, but Sarah herself actually treated it well in my opinion. Given that Sarah does not always treat trauma and addiction (Nesta's drinking problem for example) well, I think she at least did well with Gwyn's trauma in acosf. I'm hoping that Sarah will keep on treating it well. I don't entirely trust her with this though, I'm scared that she will make Gwyn forget all about her SA when she sees Azriel's dick for the first time. I hope acotar 5 won't start with Gwyn suffering from it but then as soon as her and Azriel get into intimacy she would just desperatly want the D and then she no longer has worries. I'm okay if it doesn't take long for Gwyn to get comfortable because yes, everyone heals in their own way and there are many people who rather want to experience sex to replace the bad experiences. I just really hope that her trauma won't just be swept under the rug, yk?
How do you think it will go? This might not be true but what if Gwyn is also ashamed? I mean, there are people in the world that feel like they're not worth anything anymore and not worth marrying because they got taken by people whom they didn't even want to have sex with. What if Gwyn feels worthless and thinks that Azriel wouldn't and shouldn't want to bed her? Feeling unworthy of sex like Azriel feels unworthy of love? If you get what I mean... 😅
This is a tough question, anon, baby.
In a way, I kinda expect SJM to deal with it the same way she deals with every other traumatized character: on a surface level, just deep enough to make the readers feel for them, but not going heavy enough on the trauma topic, and I honestly think that's better than going too in-depth into something that she doesn't have too much knowledge on, because this is such a serious matter, and treating it without the right care and caution could probably hurt readers that have been through SA.
Obviously she can't just erase Gwyn’s trauma to fit into their love story, so she's gonna have to handle Gwyn’s healing delicately, but I hope she will wait until both Az and Gwyn are in a better headspace before they can even think about being in a relationship. I mean, you can see how damaged Azriel is, and we knew it even before his own pov, through the other characters' thoughts, how scarred he is mentally, so a relationship at the moment would just be unhealthy.
This is only my opinion, of course, and I might be totally wrong, I just hope I'm not offending anyone. If I am, please tell me so I can fix my thoughts.
Also, I hope their romance will start off as a deep friendship. A really slow-burn (the slowest of burns, if I'm being honest) friends-to-lovers romance, in which both of them are super competitive and try to outdo the other in every little thing, until they realize they're better as partners, working together to surpass everybody else. They also begin trusting each other enough to talk about their own traumas, starting their healing journey together, but also independently to the other. Nesta and Emerie should also play an immense role in helping Gwyn find herself and learn to love herself again, if what you said about her feeling unworthy of love over what happened to her is true.
And, because I'm a slut for angsty storylines, I also want it to be an unrequited love story, be it on Azriel's side or Gwyn's. Probably Gwyn. So she starts falling for him while he's still pining for you-know-who, and then right when she decides he'll never love her as she loves him, something happens to him and Gwyn is the one to save him (I'm also a slut for heroines that save their heros) and to take care of him, so he begins to see her as more than a friend because no one's ever cared for him the way she does, and no one understands him like her.
One more thing: I AM BEGGING YOU, SARAH J MAAS, PLEASE EXPLORE GWYN’S DARK SIDE. MAKE HER A BADASS BITCH WHO WILL NOT HESITATE TO CUT THEIR ENEMIES — especially if they hurt Az or her sisters —, when she's also an adorable and sassy priestess who will make everyone's days better just by being herself.
Is it too much to ask for her to be just like Lana Myers from the Mindf*ck series? (I told you guys I'm obsessed with my baby Lana)
Maybe I veered off topic a bit, but I'm not too good with words and I just hope you guys will understand what I mean.
(Sorry for any grammatical error, I'm not a native English speaker🥺).
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Gabe meeting his kids' boyfriends Pt. 1
[Some months prior]
Emery: I hope you don't mind but I asked my boyfriend to come over for dinner.
Mick: *looks up at his youngest from setting the table* Oh, that's great! Who is he?
Gabriel: *yells, a slam is heard before he appears in the room, wrapping a cold washcloth around his hand* Did I hear you say 'boyfriend'? And you never told me until now!
Mick: *gives Gabe a concerned look*
Emery: We've actually been friends for a long time, now. I didn't know how you would react.
Gabriel: Why would I not support my son's lovelife?
Mick: I'm sure whoever it is is great. When is he coming. {Doorbell rings.} Well, I guess, he's here then. Go ahead and let him in.
Emery: *returns laughing with a boy appearing around his age* {The boy has wavy black hair combed to one side and bright green eyes. He's a bit tanned and dressed from head to toe in white leather.}
Jibril: *bows, sliding one foot back to fall into a kneel*
Emery: What are you doing?
Jibril: It's polite to kneel before royalty but never turn a blind eye. Archangels are basically Heaven royalty. *returns to his feet*
Gabriel: What else did he teach you, huh? How to bind an Archangel and sell them for juice?
Emery: Dad!
Jibril: No, it's fair. I knew this was going to happen. I had been warned before coming here.
Mick: *pulls Gabe away into the kitchen before the Archangel says something else* *grabs Gabe by the shoulders, trying to make him look in his eyes* Hey! Hey, look at me. He's not his father's. He's not going to harm anyone.
Gabriel: *on the verge of crying* You don't know that!
Mick: Actually, I do. Jibril is a sweet kid. Wickedly smart as well. He's my step son's half brother. So, trust me, okay?
Gabriel: *nods and takes a deep breath* J-Jibril? They named him after me? But why?
Mick: You'll have to ask them. I know you really don't want to but it might help to talk. Come on, *grabs pot holders and gives two to Gabe* Let's get this food out there before it gets cold.
[Present day]
Kumari: Hey, uh, Dads, I would like to introduce you to my boyfriend. *pulls Carl into the room* {The boy being slightly shorter than him; his hair faded on one side, wavy brown hair combed to the other side, and sillimanite eyes. His outfit was clearly modeled after Ketch's "casual" look but white.}
Gabriel: That's your boyfriend?
Sam: I thought you two hated each other.
Carl (Charles): Well, one thing came to another and, well- *smiles at Kalo who blushes in response*
Sam: Please don't tell me you had sex.
Kumari: No, no, we haven't yet. Don't worry.
Gabriel: *stares in horror, thinking 'WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!'*
Carl (Charles): So, am I welcome here then? I mean, Jibril had some luck with Melo and I kinda thought-
Gabriel: *snaps out of his trance* GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!
Sam: Gabe.
Kumari: *gives his father a betrayed look and leaves, dragging Carl up behind him*
Gabriel: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! I'M LOSING MY BOYS TO HIS KIDS! AFTER EVERYTHING HE DID TO ME-
Sam: Gabe, it's, um, it's okay. It will be okay. *holds the Archangel to keep him from crying*
#so um i was originally going for comedy but this isnt really funny#i kind of feel bad now#but theyre really good couples#and theyre great to each other so...#note these are my ocs#please dont use their names or identities for your own fics#sabriel#sam x gabriel#mickbriel#mick x gabriel#supernatural#my fanfiction#sam winchester#gabriel#mick davies#team free will#archangels#british men of letters#charles michael ketch (aka carl)#jibril baldur lokison#emery samael davies#kumari elijah winchester#carl x kumari#jibril x emery#shipping my own ocs but i dont care#they deserve love too#im imagining them as teenagers obviously#just fyi since i didnt feel like fitting this in but#jibrils outfit is supposed to be similar to a white and gold version of lokis skaarian outfit (similar not the same)#i edited it and now the words are bold
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