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heejojo · 3 years

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Love Isn't Beautiful But With You It Was

✰ summary: y/n and niki's journey from being enemies to friends to much more than that.

✰ pairing: Niki x fem!reader (and a Jay apperance)

✰ genre: fluff, angst, enemies to childhood friends to lovers

✰ warning: a few sad scenes but I'm not sure they'll be too bad! death

✰ word count: 1.8k (the most so far tbh)

a/n: this is my first fanfic so please leave comments about what should be improved. if you have any requests feel free to leave them! it's past 12am now and I need to sleep but I hope you have a nice day!

prompt gotten from @moonlight-chi77 thank you!

“Love isn’t beautiful but with you it was”

Life disappears in the blink of an eye, but the memories created and the human connection formed does not. The memories created are embedded in our hearts and follow us through different paths of life. Whether those memories are good or bad, they become something we reflect on in later moments.

Nishimura Riki couldn’t exactly remember the first time he met you but all he knew was that he had never hit off with someone the way he did with you.

September 2012

Although Niki couldn't pinpoint the exact date you guys started talking, he knew it was in September of 2012. He knew at first he disliked you and wanted nothing to do with you because you had stolen his spot on the swings.

“That's my spot, I told Jay I was going to stay here forever,” he said while his friend who was behind him nodded enthusiastically, backing him up.

“Your name is not on it and you didn’t buy it so why should I leave?” you asked him without coming down because you got there fair and square.

“I called dibs on it,” he said while puffing out his chest.

“Dibs are for babies,” you say while continuing to swing. “I’m not a baby,” he retorts.

“If you say so, then why are you wearing a Talking Tom T-Shirt?” you ask and his face begins to turn red. “It's cool, isn't it Jay?” he nudges his friend asking him for support. “Cool man, girls just suck” Jay responds and they both leave. “At least I dress myself!” you yell at their retreating figures

After that day, Niki made it his mission to disturb you every day and never wore his Talking Tom shirt again after that day.

August 2016

“Niki!!” you screamed as you felt another water balloon hit your leg. At this point, your entire body was soaked. The young boy continued to laugh and run as you chased him. You were beginning to regret spending your summer break with him when you could be watching TV instead. Eventually, you give up chasing the blond-haired boy and go into the house to dry off. Thirty minutes later, Niki comes in with a bottle of orange juice as a form of apology. You snatch it without further thought and drink it. Looking up at him after you finish drinking it, you both burst into a fit of laughter. “You’re lucky I love food,” you say. Maybe spending the summer with him wouldn't be so bad.

December 2018

Your crush on Niki was painfully obvious to everyone but him. Your friends teased you, his friends teased you yet when you were together you denied it with so much vigour. Niki had liked you for a few months now. Everyone was enjoying the slow burn that was going on between the two of you; the soft glances across the room, the way you always looked for each other among crowds, the way he knew where your secret birthmark was even though your close friends didn’t.

It was the way you complimented each other that made everyone cringe and aw at the same time. The jacket you got him for his birthday was his most prized piece of clothing and the only person he let touch it was his mum. This year though, you gathered enough courage and told him how he meant to you and how you were content with being just friends even if it hurt a little. But you weren’t expecting Niki to say he felt the same way, even more so. Your friends heaved a sigh of relief and choruses of ‘Finally’ were echoed.

It felt good being with someone.

January 2019

Everyone argued with people they loved right? Your parents did, the old lady that sells fruit and her boyfriend did so you and Niki weren’t an exception. After being childhood friends for so long you’d think you could trust each other enough to talk about the things that bothered you but he refused to, claiming that he didn’t want you to see him in a different light and how it would hurt his pride. You would tell him that no one knew him more and cared about him the way you did. At times, you’d let it go not wanting to push him but that day you couldn’t take it.

“We need to talk. Why have you been avoiding me these past few days?” you asked him.

“I’ve just been busy” he replied.

“No, you’ve been avoiding me. I know you well enough to know when you're hiding something” you said.

He wouldn't budge, he never did especially when you cornered him like this. He started to get irritated and said, “I said I’ve been busy so forgive me if I can’t give you attention all the time. Not all of us are as clingy as you” You winced; it was your fault for pushing him to the edge like that. Nevertheless, you wouldn't give up. “ I just want you to say how you feel and what bothers you. I’d never look at you in a different light and you know that. You might want to be strong but it’s okay to show some sort of emotion, it doesn’t make you weak rather it makes you look like someone that acknowledges what is wrong and doesn’t try to ignore the problem or solve it on their own” you comforted him. As the words entered his ears, you could see the walls surrounding his heart crumbling. “It’s okay to ask for help or just to rant to someone. Even if we won’t be able to provide an immediate solution, it should help” you added taking a few steps forward and grabbing a hold of his hands. You squeezed them tightly.

“I...I’m just scared you’ll leave once you see the not so perfect side of me” he managed to say. “I will stay with you, why don’t we make the best of everything without worrying about the future?” you asked while smiling. He returned it and pulled you in for a hug. “Thank you, truly,” he said and you smiled under his embrace.

After a few minutes you spoke up, “Oh yeah, Niki?” you called his attention and he hummed in response. “Don’t ever shout at me like that again, I can deck you and you know it” you said.

“Got it, boss. Sorry for being a jerk”

June 2020

You usually went on diets and exercised a lot but you were losing weight at an extreme rate and you weren’t even on a diet. Niki was worried but you brushed it off telling him it was stress from school but it got worse. You found it difficult for you to balance yourself, you felt nauseated, getting even more frequent headaches and being tired all the time so Niki decided that enough was enough and took you to the hospital. Neither of you had expected the result of the scans that were run.

“I’m sorry but there is a tumour in your brain,” the doctor said. The air left your lungs. “You can choose to get the surgery and live in the hospital for 8 months or live with the tumour for 3 months” he continued. You thanked him and left the hospital. The elephant in the room was very much alive and neither one of you wanted to address it. Did you want to stay in the hospital for the rest of your life or did you want to say with your loved ones? You thought that they would go through and that won’t be worth it.

“Niki” you called out.

He looked at you with a sad smile and just pulled you in for a hug, careful not to hurt you. “Do you want to tell your parents?” You nodded. You couldn’t just leave without saying anything. Picking your jacket, Niki drove you to your parents house.

“I just wanted you guys to know, I couldn’t just leave without saying anything,” you said with your eyes cast downwards. You couldn’t bear to look at your mom who was already crying or your dad who was blaming himself even when it wasn’t his fault or your sister who was basically your best friend. Niki had given you guys privacy but you knew it was just an excuse for him to be with his own feelings.

“I’m going to stay close to home in the meantime so I can be closer to you guys,” you said. Your eyes were already becoming glossy with tears. You inched towards your mom, taking her hand in yours and said, “You did an amazing job of being my mom and I love you so much”. Moving to your dad, you said “You did a good job of protecting me so don’t think otherwise. Let’s make all the memories we want to now without any regrets”. At that, your sister burst into tears “I… I can’t bear to lose you” Your heart clenched. “I can’t bear to lose you too” She continued crying. Your mom wiped her eyes and said, “From today, live the way you want to. Eat what you want and do what you want.” From the corner of my eye, I saw Niki staring watching the whole scene. After an hour, I stood up and went home with Niki. The car ride was a long and awkward one. When we got home, we just slept hugging each other.

Starting tomorrow I was going to live.

July 2020

The pain is getting worse but the smiles on my family and friends faces are enough to keep me going. I wrote letters and got gifts for them. Niki looks at the calendar every day, I can’t tell him to stop because I can tell he’s hurting so much. Why can’t I just be okay for everyone?

August 2020

The time comes faster, Niki and I went on a getaway for a few days. He deserved a break from everything that has been going on.

September 2020

I never thought I'd die as silly as that sounds. I asked my parents and sister to leave when I got to the hospital. Niki refused to leave and stayed there till I took in my last breath. He kept crying begging me not to go and how he’d do anything.

“Does it hurt a lot?” he asked between sniffles

“No it doesn’t, it just feels like a needle” it hurt like a truck.

“Liar”

I chuckled and held his hand till I couldn’t anymore. “I love you’’ I say as the lights fade.

╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗

Dear Nishimura Riki,

When you see this, it means I’m already gone. First of all, don’t beat yourself up too much. I could write for ages about how much I love you but now that I need to, my mind goes blank. You’ve done so well for putting up with me, hats off to you. You might not want to but move on, even though id like you to remember me; let your heart heal and be happy.

Take care of yourself and don’t skip any meals. Eat well and be happy, make sure you visit the places we never got to visit and enjoy yourself. Live life the way you want it every day. Be nice to people and smile more.

Thank you for all the happy memories, my love, I’ll be forever grateful for you. You made my life colourful and worth living.

Love isn’t beautiful but with you it was.

Yours truly,

Y/N.

#enhypen #enhypen angst #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #character death #enhypen fluff

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haileygarciasunshine · 3 years

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Soft as Silk

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Fem!Reader

Written: December 22nd, 2020

Posted: December 22nd, 2020

Warning: None

Word Count: 1,000

Requested: Yes! @kpopgirlbtssvt Hii!! (This is a lot omg, let me know if it’s too detailed!) Can I please request a Sweet Pea x shy/quite!innocent!fem!reader where when the Serpents first go to the Northside school, at some point during the school day, Sweet Pear hears soft music (a violin) and he’s curious, so he follows it. Which leads him right outside the orchestra room, where he sees Y/N (for the first time as she’s really shy and doesn’t talk to many people), by herself, playing her violin. Awhh and she would so blush when she sees him (through the window on the door) watching her play, but shyly smile too. She doesn’t hold the same beliefs as the other Northsiders do, she’s actually kind and accepting to all the Southsiders. They get closer and closer and their relationship eventually develops into boyfriend and girlfriend. Sweet Pea would be soft for her and veryyyy protect and the other Serpents would be as well. The Northsides (especially Archie and Reggie) would be shook lol. I honestly love the “opposites attract.”

---

A/N: I loved writing this, especially because it was a Violin reader request! I used to play Violin all through school, I even won competition medals and even got my Letterman’s Jacket Letter from playing Violin in high school. Even though I haven’t played since, I still enjoy listening to orchestra music, if you’re like me I suggest listening to Lindsey Sterling, she’s great with her electric violin. Okay I’m done ranting lol. I also included a lot of the things I did / experienced. Like having to take a music class to graduate, swaying as playing the violin. ect.

---

Sweet Pea Masterlist

Walking into Riverdale high, you gripped your Violin case handle just a little tighter. The Southside High students would be attending classes today as they transferred to the Northside school.

Everyone seemed to be a little on edge since the announcement of the merge. Reggie seemed to be a little angrier since then, as well as Archie. They had both been your friends since you could remember. Both guys were often very protective over you since you were shy and didn’t have a lot of friends. It seemed like an odd friendship as an outsider looking in.

As you walked through the hallways, you made your way to the Orchestra room. Nobody would be in the classroom until at least the third or fourth period, which allotted you enough time to play to your heart's content.

Shutting the door, you let out a content sigh. The overwhelming feeling of home washed over you. The Orchestra room, was your home away from home since you were always there practicing.

Opting for a change of scenery, you decided to take a seat in the back row. Grabbing your sheet music, you placed it on the stand in front of you. Turning towards your case, you had placed it on the chair beside you. Opening the case, you pulled your bow out before tightening it ever so slightly, then you grabbed your rosin and began moving it up and down on your bow.

Once you were satisfied with the amount of rosin on your bow, you pulled your violin out, placing the shoulder rest on it then placing it on your shoulder. Angling your head you held the Violin between them. Reaching underneath the violin you began twisting the tuning pegs, allowing you to tune your violin.

After tuning, you felt as though you were ready to begin playing. You glanced at the key before checking the tempo. Placing your bow on the strings you began moving your fingers to hit the notes. Losing yourself in the music you began to sway slightly as you played.

---

As Sweet Pea entered the Northside school, he couldn’t help but have a foul mood. He hated the North siders and now he would have to go to school with them. Luckily, he had his closest friends beside him to help him get through the day.

Naturally, they arrived late to school. Walking towards their assigned lockers, they placed their belongings in them before making their separate ways toward their respected classrooms.

Sweet Pea grumbled to himself as he made his way towards the Choir room. Each student was required to take some sort of music class to graduate. The soft sound of instrument melody filled his ears.

Glancing around the hallway, he was alone which allowed him to follow the sweet melody. The music led him straight to the orchestra room. There he gazed through the window and saw an innocent looking girl playing her violin.

---

Losing yourself in the music, you continued playing until you felt the sensation of somebody watching you. Glancing towards the door, you saw a guy with a black leather jacket gazing at you.

You could feel heat rising in your cheeks as you locked gazes with him. Normally, you weren’t one to play for an audience, however, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop playing.

As you gazed at each other, you didn’t miss the blush that made its way to his cheeks nor did you miss the soft smile he sent you.

The sound of a bell interrupted your moment, as it signaled the end of class and the start of a new class.

Sighing, you broke the gaze you shared and begun putting away your violin. Once you were finished, you held onto a small inkling of hope that he would be waiting for you. As you exited the orchestra room, you glanced around only to see the mysterious serpent nowhere in sight.

“There you are!” Reggie exclaimed throwing his arm around your shoulders. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I should’ve known you’d be in the music hallway.”

You rolled your eyes, before shrugging off his arm. “You should’ve looked there first, that’s where I always am.”

“Clearly.” Reggie scoffed. “Come on, you don’t want to be late for next period.”

---

The rest of the day, your mind was clouded with the thought of the mysterious guy from this morning. You couldn’t help but think back to the intimate moment you shared. It was a moment you hadn’t shared with anyone before.

In one of your classes, you were sitting beside Tony and Fangs. They were quick to introduce themselves to you. A grin made it’s way to your face as you had become friends with some of the South siders.

“This is, Sweet Pea.” Fangs spoke introducing you to the guy you had seen earlier in the day.

“Nice to meet you, Sweet Pea, I’m Y/N.” You grinned shaking his hand.

---

Since that day, you had developed a close bond with the younger Serpents. It was rare that you were seen without one or all by your side. They had taken you under their wing and protected you as their own.

You and Sweet Pea began developing a close bond. He would often skip classes, to spend time listening to you play your violin in the orchestra room. Fireworks always seemed to erupt in your stomach anytime he was near you. “What is he doing with her?” Archie questioned as he stared daggers at the sight of you and Sweet Pea walking through the halls.

“I don’t know man.” Reggie shrugged. “It’s crazy that they excepted her into their group.”

“This is Y/n,” Toni spoke introducing you to FP.

Fangs had convinced you somehow to hang out with the younger serpents at the wyrm.

“Hi.” You shook his hand, as your voice came out meek and meager.

“Ah, so she’s the North sider you’ve all been talking about.”

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Taglist:

@remembered-license @beth-winchester21 @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e

#sweetpeaimagine #sweet pea imagine #riverdale #riverdale imagine #riverdale imagines #riverdaleimagines #riverdaleimagine #sweet pea #sweet pea imagines #sweetpeaimagines #sweet pea x reader #sweetpeaxreader #requestedimagine #requested imagine #jordan conner #jordanconner

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helenazbmrskai · 3 years

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title ‹ Christmas bribery ›

pairing ‹ soldier!seokjin x oc ›

genre ‹ Christmas/holiday au, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst but barely there ›

summary ‹ This is the first time you can’t go home and celebrate Christmas with your family so your mom makes sure you don’t spend the holidays alone happy to learn that Seokjin, your mother’s best friend’s son is taking his annual leave near the 22nd of December from Military services. This story is about the biggest Christmas bribery of the century. ›

warnings ‹ swear words here and there, bad puns? ›

word count ‹ 6.2k ›

notes. I’m here to deliver a light read to set the mood for the holidays and I hope all of you will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the process of writing it. In this Christmas collab, I had the chance to meet with these amazing people so I’m sharing this story as a gift and as a thank you!

this is part of the Christmas fic collab that was suggested by @kooala please check out the masterpost and enjoy every story we share!

”You did what?!” I feel dizzy due to the sudden movement of my body jerking up in a sitting position, crisscrossing my legs under me as my hand holds up the phone to my right ear a little bit more pressingly after hearing the breaking news. That she tells me with a singing tone sounding so excited but I can’t seem to share her sentiments as the bewilderment decorating my voice is in sharp contrast with the silence that settled on the cosy apartment like a thick feather-filled duvet. Nibbling on my thin lips I locate the single gingerbread scented candle on my desk still illuminating the interior of my messy bedroom the flames licking up the walls and disappearing near the ceiling, creating pretty shapes and lights over the dull paint, it helps me regain my composure before I realise that mom is not yet finished talking.

”Well he needed a place to stay and busses won’t go out because of the upcoming storm his apartment is in Daegu and I’m sure he’ll be tired from the flight.” Flicking on the lights I take in the sight, clothes piled up on the chair’s armrest whilst dirty plates littering every usable surface, fuck, if my room looks like a pigsty I don’t want to imagine how the other rooms are looking right now.

I was so immersed in doing great on my finals that I don’t think I cleaned the space up for a while.

I should start doing my laundry so I have something to wear as I already look to be out of clean t-shirts inspecting the pile of unwashed jeans and other garments, momentarily embarrassed to see I’m also out of room to place new dirty clothes on top of all these.

”What are you implying mother?” Pursing my lips, I honestly start to lose her train of thoughts as her rant goes on and my eyes wander over the state my apartment is in after stressful weeks but knowing her ways she’ll start with building on my conscience until she realises that I’m no longer an unsuspecting five-year-old girl and she’ll pull out the big guns and dust off her bribing skills.

Whatever her plan is, she always makes me go accordingly no matter how much I try to resist or protest and I feel a knot form in my throat at that. If this is about my non-existent dating life again that she called me to discuss in the dread of the night, I swear I’m gonna flip a table or something.

”You remember Sunha’s eldest son?” Answering back with a question as she often likes to do, doesn’t throw me off balance as it used to.

I’m long ago accustomed to getting her ways to twist the conversation to her favour so I’m ready to fire back my reply in the same form matching her up. ”How is your best friend’s son has to do with any of this?” Utterly confused by the mention, that must lace my tone since she lets a lightsome laugh bubble up in her chest I can picture her dimples are showing in full display because of it.

”Did you even pay attention to a word I said?” She sounds more amused than accusing, letting me know that she actually doesn’t mind how my head gets airy sometimes, her playfulness earns a groan from my side of the line, it’s getting pretty late and I have not enough brain cells left for her mind games.

”Spit it out, mom. You know I love you but I had a rough week so spare me of your wicked schemes.” I breathe out the words orbs closing involuntarily as I rest my head against the door frame. Where was I going anyway?

Maybe I should go for a hot chocolate before bed.

It’ll be weird not seeing my family for the holidays but I don’t want my mom to worry about me so I made sure to be extra cheerful all the time when she called only ignored her attempts of reaching me like one or two times as I had to study for two last exams and now that I can finally relax the exhaustion seems to catch up to me. I’m fine being on my own, making food and seasonal sweets while I watch tv without any interruptions, sounds like an excellent plan for Christmas, not caring how loud my music is or how bad my singing voice is under the shower.

No family means sweet alone time awaits, no one will tell me to go to sleep and I didn’t need to worry what kind of a present I should purchase at least for a little while.

”Do you remember Seokjin or not Y/N? This conversation will last longer if you don’t cooperate with me.” I can practically see her eye roll directed at me in front of my eyes despite she’s twenty miles away from here, wishful thinking on my part that she’ll let this conversation go if I ask her to stop beating around the bush.

”I don’t know. Maybe?” A fragment of my memory is triggered by hearing his name, and a scenario appears out of nowhere that was a few years ago in Sunha’s second marriage ceremony as I stand in a pastel lavender dress.

Mother was otherworldly happy for Sunha that day she dragged me with her as she chatted away mixing with the guests until we settled down to our table - when the cake cutting took place - that consisted of the bride and groom themselves and close family members like Sunha’s sons and his significant other’s daughter and, of course, my mother and I was present too.

I remember sitting down and just looking ahead aimlessly when I locked gazes with a handsome man his posture was immaculate and he seemed happy for his mother but couldn’t hide how restlessly he fidgetted in his seat, his eyes couldn’t settle watching only one thing, he even looked skittish as he jumped in his seat when the girl sitting on his left tried to catch his attention. Our eye contact lasted less than five seconds and his presence remained for thirty minutes at most as he apologised to her mother and everyone at the table since he had some urgent affairs to attend to.

I probably looked shocked for the reason that mom whispered the words into my ear when he left so suddenly to make sense of things. ”That’s Jin, her eldest son he serves in the army he probably couldn’t get a full day off because of his duties.” After humming in an understanding gesture I fixed my gaze onto the cake slice in front of me.

I remember that man clearly but with purpose, I don’t elaborate further than that, so she doesn’t have the compromitting piece of information to latch onto and make it a bigger issue. She would be elated to know I do remember Kim Seokjin, well, he’s hard to forget in the first place, he smiled only once as his mother hugged him at the table and even if it lasted for less than a second the expression was captivating. Howbeit if she tells me that she organised a date with him I’m going to slam my head to the closest hard surface I can tell. He’s so out of league and dating someone with such a dangerous profession at that, it’s not going to work, doesn’t matter how much I find him attractive and charming.

”It doesn’t matter I guess. You two could get to know each other eventually as he’ll stay at your apartment.” She drops the bomb before disconnecting the call, she doesn’t even wait for my protests this time around. A groan leaves my lips while I look around the house promptly throwing my phone to land on my bed in the means of letting out some of my frustration. I need to get going and make this house presentable again, that hot chocolate needs to wait I guess.

from: unknown number

[7.22 AM] Hi it’s Seokjin. My plane will take off at 9ish can you send me your address?

Grabbing my phone from the kitchen counter I open the message from the unknown number the device almost slips through my fingertips as I rake my eyes over the content hesitant about how to reply I turn to my friend who so generously offered her help to tidy up my living space a little before my unrequested guest arrives. With a broom in her hand, she looks back at my weird facial expression.

”What is it? It’s him?” Gaun asks abandoning her cleaning tools to read the message as well peaking over my shoulder in order to do that. ”He sounds so uptight even in text. Brr.” She shakes her shoulders in simple displeasure that earns an eye roll from me, it’s not that he’ll send hearts when our encounter was years ago for like five seconds. Honestly, I’m surprised that mom and Sunha were able to talk him into this in the first place.

”He’s a soldier Gaun and on the contrary, we don’t know each other he has no reason to be friendly.” Gnawing on my lower lip I click on the message to reply, typing a few lines before I deleted it and rewrote it before hitting send.

[7.34 AM] Hey of course. Call me if you don’t find your way.

[7.34 AM] *google map link attached*

from: Seokjin

[7.35 AM] I will thank you

”Let’s hurry up we don’t have that much time.” I place the phone back on the counter resuming my cleaning and Gaun starts to swipe the floor where she left off all the while I can hear the washing machine work in the distance.

I could feel my heartbeat in the pit of my stomach when the doorbell finally rang and at the other side of the door, there’s Kim Seokjin in all of his glory, that handsome soldier I got a sneak peek at his mother’s wedding wearing a formal suit and tie combo that he pulled of so nicely. I wipe my hands with a towel leaving the leftover plates in the sink as I rush to open the door for him.

”Hi.” I greet him with a friendly smile plastered on my face, I have to tilt my chin upwards to meet his eyes, he’s even taller than I remembered and he’s wearing his military uniform. My hold on the doorknob tightens how unfairly handsome he is with his hair parted in both sides leaving his forehead uncovered his uniform is well fitted and compliments the curves of his waist and thighs the cherry on top is his platform jet black boots that matches with the colour of his hair that I love so much.

A well trained German Sheppard sits near his foot with his tongue out as soon as I crouch down to pet him so focused on the animal that I almost don’t catch Seokjin’s timid ’hello’ in return, the dog’s tail starts to wag furiously seeing my face at his eye level he throws me off balance as he marches forward for more pets.

”I’m sorry he’s not normally like this.” The handsome boy offers a hand to help me up with a sheepish look, I accept the extended hand with a faint blush ignoring the pain that shoots up to my ass because of the impact with the floor. His hand is bigger than mine as it gets fully enveloped in his warm ones.

”Mom didn’t tell me you have a dog,” I chuckle lightly as I pet the dog’s head one last time unsure what to do with my hand that he no longer holds. ”I mean, she didn’t tell me much just told me you’ll come today.” His unique laugh sounded nice ringing in my ears, it made me smile up at him as he playfully shook his head. It’s weird how relaxed I feel around his presence when I was shaking with nerves just moments prior, and I’m still not entirely comfortable with him but his whole aura has a calming effect on my body. I don’t think I’ve ever met with someone that makes me feel so at ease when it’s basically our first meeting.

”Yeah, well, I think we both got played by our mothers.” I have to agree on that one with him. Realising that we’re still standing in front of my entrance I beckon him to come inside stepping out of the way so he could easily slide his luggage beside him his dog’s paws leave imprints on the clean floor but I don’t mind it as he looks so excited about everything inside sniffing and exploring while Jin tries to make him behave scratching his neck when his dog doesn’t seem to listen to a single word.

”Sorry he’s making a mess.” Seokjin apologises seeing the muddy paw marks after connecting our eyes for a few seconds he follows the steps into the kitchen. ”No Cookie that’s not food for you.” The young soldier immediately runs after his companion when he tries to steal the cinnamon rolls from the kitchen counter and I can’t help but laugh at the sight as he scolds the dog.

This is going to be an interesting holiday season I can already tell.

”I can’t believe this fucking jar.” I contemplate to smash it against the counter after spouting several curse words when a hand landed on mine directly on the jar’s lid, I feel Cookie’s fur brush against my exposed leg having enough evidence to know who’s this arm belongs to and I turn around in a moment of weakness. Jin’s hair rests on the top of his head in a messy style sweat dampening the ends.

”Need some help?” His eyes hold a childlike glow in them as he brushes his fingers against mine replacing my digits with his and the lid pops easily in his hands.

I can’t say this display of physical strength doesn’t make him even more attractive in my eyes I barely pay attention to the fact that he stands so close I can feel his chest meet mine as we breathe handing back the opened strawberry jam.

”Thanks.” I hastily turn to avoid his gaze even though that doesn’t offer much advantage as he leans closer pushing his chest against the line of my back watching as my hands spread the jam over the walnut biscuits.

”Want a taste?” Feeling bolder than usual I face him again holding up a finished treat to his mouth, Jin makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat but parts his lips obediently letting me slip the food between his teeth.

”I’ll leave as a stuffed chicken if you keep feeding me these delicious treats.” Despite the indication, he doesn’t seem against the food I offer as he tries to steal one more from the plate but I pull his hand away curling my fingers around his wrist.

”Let me finish before you devour my hard work you pig.” I roll my eyes watching his childlike antics, he seems to take pleasure in riling me up from time to time. It’s been two days since he and his companion Cookie arrived and things just worked out smoothly Jin is a nice person with horrendous jokes but he does help out a lot around the apartment he even fixed my broken ladder so we can decorate the Christmas tree that he insisted we need to purchase when I told him I was not going to go all out and celebrate this year. After all, I was supposed to be here on my own.

He’s so used to training at headquarters that he leaves every morning to run for an hour before he comes back all sweaty and satisfied finding me eating my breakfast or drinking my coffee it doesn’t matter what’s in my hands he always needs to get the last bites from it. He’s really not good for my heart.

”Since you’re doing the sweets how about I make us lunch today?” Jin asks excitedly resting his head on top of mine gently careful not to put too much weight on me, my heart speeds up at the sweet gesture not trusting my words so I nod instead. One of these days I can’t wrap my head around his intentions, he looks so nonchalant as he does things like resting his head on me or patting my knee when we watch tv together with Cookie curled around us on the couch.

”I can’t work like this.” I use the excuse to separate our bodies, is it just me or the kitchen is getting hotter by every passing second, or it’s just my cheeks heating up due to his body moulding perfectly with mine. It doesn’t help either that I remember he’s sweaty under his shirt after his daily exercise smelling nice when he probably shouldn’t have. I busy my hands to glue the biscuits together with the jam moving slightly to the side a little further from Jin’s warm body, he doesn’t say anything else as he decides to leave the kitchen Cookie stays for the sake of finishing his meal before going on a quest to find his owner leaving me behind with my thoughts.

I wrap things up quickly after that, placing the treats in the middle so Cookie can’t reach it and clean up the jam stains before retreating to my room.

It’s a pleasant surprise to check my phone and see that my mom tried to reach me an hour ago, she’s up uncharacteristically early. Too curious to find out what she wants I dial her number without a second thought, it’s been three days that she called and that time she told me Jin will stay at my place until he has to go back to the army. Whenever I think about that a frown seems to climb its way up to my expression I got used to seeing him around the house that I tend to forget he won’t be around when the new year comes and it’s scary to think about how attached I feel to him or rather how lonely I’ll feel once this is all over. He’s a busy man in general and serving under the Military’s name means he can’t be here when I need him, it would be as painful in the long run as a long-distance relationship would be. Not that I assume he’s interested in me that way.

”Hey mom sorry I didn’t hear your call. Is everything alright?” I press my phone to my left ear, closing the door behind with the help of my foot before sitting down at the edge of my bed. Seokjin’s low hum and the sound of pots and pans indicate that he started soon after I left the kitchen, it’s early to start lunch already but Jin is always restless like that.

He needs to find things to do or fix because he gets bored easily, he told me that when I picked up on his punctuality that he always has to move like a clockwork at the base he developed a habit of making use of himself and he needs to constantly do things to keep his restless energy at bay so he can sleep well at night.

He wakes up exactly at six in the morning every day even without setting up his alarm. I think it’s endearing when he thumps his foot absentmindedly even if he’s watching a movie he’s interested in, legs spread wide in a comfortable position on the sofa, his body just never relaxes completely.

”Yes dear I called early to say Merry Christmas to my baby!” I giggle in response hearing her excitement conveyed through her voice. ”I hope you enjoy your Christmas present.” Her tone turned suggestive and my laughter died down, heat rose to my cheeks and my thoughts spiralled to Seokjin’s direction.

”What’s that supposed to mean?” I glance at the door listening for the noises to make sure Jin can’t hear my flustered tone, he’s still in the kitchen and that helps me relax a little until my mom’s knowing hum filled the silence in the conversation.

”Are you getting on well with Jin right? He’s a real sweetheart so treat him nice ok?” Can’t help but all the more agree with her, he’s very considerate and funny, I think he’s the one who’s treating me nice even though I supposed to be the host, he helps out a lot and good company to be around. He sometimes misplaces my things like moving plates to a higher shelf when he knows I can’t reach it there without his help and he cracks terrible jokes that I secretly like very much and Cookie is the apple of my eye already, I think he listens to me more than he listens to Jin at this point (there might be a tiny connection that I often give him special treats during his owner's absence) and I found it hilarious as he sulks on the couch calling his dog a ’traitor’ when he decides to rest his head on my lap instead of Seokjin’s.

Little things like that make me like Seokjin more and more with each passing day.

”I’m treating him just fine mom he said he gained weight since his arrival blaming it on me, don’t worry and enjoy the holidays with dad, after all, it’s the first time that you two could celebrate with just him after so long.”

”Will do darling. I hope you’ll have a wonderful time as well I know that finals were stressing you out so I hope that you are able to relax now.” We deemed the conversation finished after wishing each other happy holidays again and for once I feel like I can mean my words as I feel relaxed around a certain someone.

”Want to place the star on top?” Jin shoved the decoration piece in front of my face whilst I placed food on the coffee table to feast upon as we watch classic Christmas movies until we can’t keep our eyes open since it’s the first day of Christmas.

”I’m not stepping on that ladder you fixed, it looks like a death trap.” Eyeing all the nails and patches on the poor thing.

”If it can hold my weight so can yours.” Jin states the facts, placing the star into my opened palm with a mischievous grin. ”I’ll hold you so don’t be a baby and decorate with me, it’s not as fun doing it alone.” That pout, dangerous and he knows that I can’t possibly say no to that when he asks me so nicely with that adorable full lips of his.

”If I fall I’m dragging you with me, just saying.” I keep our eye contact to get my point across with a meaningless glare, the corners of my lips twitch to morph into a smile hearing his happy chuckles using that moment to turn to the ladder taking the first step up the stair the scent of Jin’s aftershave hit my sensitive nose feeling his hands curve around my hip squeezing my sides to reassure me he’s here to catch me. I can blame my wobbly legs because of the shaky ladder or on my fear of high places but I can’t fool myself that the delicate shake that overpowers my body is because of the excitement I feel as I daydream about his hands on different parts of my body. It feels nice to be held by him.

”Hold on for deer life then.” A fond smile appears on my face hearing him laugh on the pun he just told me, forget my inner turmoil in the meantime placing the star to add the last piece before we declare it’s complete.

I almost can’t mask the look of disappointment I feel when he lets me go once my feet are planted on the ground the star placed on top.

”Told you it’s safe. I’m here to keep you in one piece, sugar.” His hand landing on the top of my head, caressing my hair for the time length of two outdrawn strokes before he lets his fingers fall beside his body to prop around his hips observing the tree with so much excitement that he failed to see my blush due to the pet name that probably just slipped out without any meaning behind it.

”No Cookie it’s not yours love.” I catch him before he can bite a big chunk out of our late night dinner as we’re not paying attention, it created an opportunity for him that he would’ve been foolish to disregard.

”Cheeky pretty thing just like his owner, huh?” It slips out as I pet Cookie’s head kneading the soft short furs around his ears that he knocks our heads together in beaming excitement because of the affection.

”Cookie really likes you Y/N.” The affectionate gaze he looks at me with knocks the air out of my lungs, it sounded like for a split second that he means he likes me too. Wishful thinking I remind myself before looking away clearing my throat to get things started plopping down onto the couch with a big huff leaving my lips.

”I’m starving, get your fat ass over here so we can watch Grinch.” I beam at him acting like his previous comment doesn’t hit hard as I pull my plate closer taking a bite out of the grilled chicken.

”How rude-olf of you!” He fakes his crocodile tears but as his ass hits the fluffy blanket nearly ripping my hot cocoa out of my hands it doesn’t seem like he’s feeling an ounce of hurt over my words. It’s silent for a while as we bash under the Christmas lights our faces illuminated by the tv munching on our food and sweets laid out before us Cookie resting on the rug near our feet.

”It’s been a while since I had such a nice Christmas.” Jin sighs burrowing his face onto my shoulder I can feel his breath fan over my skin the movie is long forgotten as I let his words sink in. Tired to fight the urge I tilt my head to rest it against his the moment appears to be too intimate for strangers let alone friends. ”You smell nice too.” I feel his nose around my neckline turning further into me as he inhales the scent of my hair, maybe it’s because it’s getting late but I let the feelings wash over me.

”Did you drink from my mother’s ’secret Santa’ labelled punch or something? I told you she’s a witch when it comes to alcoholic beverages.” I laugh lightheartedly and Jin follows suit hitting my left thigh when his laugh makes me laugh harder that results in my stomach twisting in pain from all the giggling even so as he starts to tickle me to take his revenge. He manhandles me with ease as he pins my wrists with one hand over my head ticking my torso with the other straddling my hip so he can restrict my squirming under him.

”You’re stronger! That’s not fair Jin.” I whine under his crushing weight, cheeks flushed from the exercise and his close proximity an innocent smile lits up his entire face as he regards me under his form, the Christmas lights are illuminated in his dark orbs creating a pretty image of him. Hair sticking to every questionable direction full lips stretched to house his angelic smile warm radiating from his body so close to mine.

I wish this moment could last forever.

”What are you thinking about?” Tilting his head in question he looks into my eyes with a fierce expression, I gulp not knowing to say the truth or come up with something on the spot. I decided it’s time for the truth.

”That I..” My sentence gets interrupted by Cookie’s barking I haven’t realised that he around the time we were occupied left his spot and watched us with curious eyes. He licked both of our faces as soon as he had the attention and Jin got up from the couch to pet him as Cookie nudged him with his nose to show him his empty bowl.

Maybe it’s a sign that I shouldn’t. Right. What was I thinking? Seokjin is never home he serves the country all the time, married to his work to the extent that he has no time left for himself, he doesn’t have the capacity to form a serious relationship with me and he’s probably not looking for love either.

It’s for the best that we separate after the new year.

I formed a plan after almost confessing my love for him to avoid any other scenarios like this in the future, to be honest, I hated it but there’s no other way for me to get over him quickly even if my heart told me I should enjoy my little time left with him I choose to ignore his attempts at spending quality time with me.

If he asked for a movie night I told him I was busy or tired I took my meals to my room telling him that I need to pick up my studying schedule for the next semester, I had the most ridiculous reasons and I’m sure he figured me out after the second time I dismissed our plans and I can’t say seeing him hurt over my words and futile attempts at lying doesn’t felt like I was stabbed with a dozen knives into my heart.

I should have stopped myself before I got too deep because now I’m hurting both of us even if he’s only mourning for a lost friend.

A scratching noise interrupted the flow of my thoughts I tiptoe all the way to the door looking around before my eyes land on a restless Cookie. He reminds me so much of his owner but he normally stays with Jin I wonder what is he doing here scratching on my door. Is he out perhaps?

”What’s wrong? You seem sad.” I crouch to his level so I can caress his fur and his tail begin to wag instantly when I pull back Cookie grabs my sleeve with his teeth careful not to hurt me before he pulls me out of my room. I try to regain my footing but he pulls me harder until my door shuts behind my back.

”Cookie. What’s up with you suddenly?” I ask him even if I know there’s no reply to wait for I observe his body language before realisation lit up in my round orbs. ”You want me to follow you somewhere sweetheart?” Hearing that he let go suddenly making me lose my balance and collide with the floor cushioning the hit with my butt just like the first time I met him when he nearly run me over with excitement. He tumps his foot as he walks away hardly leaving enough time to catch up to him. He sits down in front of Seokjin’s door, or precisely the guest room he occupies for a short period I remind myself. My eyes soften after noticing it’s his way of showing that he doesn’t want us to part in bad terms. He’s smart.

I take in a deep breath mulling over if I should talk to Jin but looking at Cookie’s hopeful eyes I can’t possibly turn around and ignore this anymore. Jin deserves a better explanation than just accepting the fact one day I ghosted him.

I raise my hand to knock on his door when I hear his voice, he’s talking to someone over the phone since I didn’t hear the front door opening or closing that would mean we have a guest and I don’t think he would invite someone here without discussing it with me, no matter if we are in speaking terms or not.

”I don’t know what happened. I thought we are good but then the next day she didn’t want to do anything with me. I’m confused.” Is he talking about me? To whom? I know eavesdropping is bad but I can’t make my body pull away from the door as I listen intently. I don’t hear what the person from the other side says only Jin’s answers that I’m able to make out as I press my ear to the smooth surface.

”Of course I tried talking to her mom! What if I said or did something that made her hate me? I don’t want to leave like this, we had so much fun. I don’t want it to end this way.” Jin groaned frustratedly while listening to his mom, hearing his voice so worried and tense talking to his loved one about me that knows me very well, I feel ten times worse for ignoring him without giving him an honest explanation.

”I like her mom, but maybe it’s already too late.”

Retreating to my room in sheer panic when he cuts the line to afraid to be caught to rationalise the words I overheard. He likes me too.

All this time I thought that my feelings are not reciprocated whilst in reality I’m just a big coward, I hid behind the fabricated words that his profession is something that doesn’t sit well with me and he has no time to have a girlfriend, but I never tried asking what he wanted. If he wanted to give us a chance or not.

These thoughts plagued my mind until I fall asleep that night, however, tomorrow will be something different.

”Good morning.” I greet Seokjin as he walks out with only his sweatpants on eyes puffy from sleep, he’s so startled by my voice that he jumps at least five centimetres above the ground and the chuckle I let out witnessing his fright confuses him more.

”Uh, good morning.” He replies, at last, passing my form to pull out a mug probably for his morning coffee but I have his fill in my hand while mine is placed on the counter next to my hip. ”The ghost of Christmas visited you last night or something?” Jin watches my form suspiciously but accepting the steaming cup of coffee with a soft ’thanks’ rolling off of his tongue.

”Something like that. Can we talk?” I meet his gaze shyly picking up on my nervous habit as I nibble on my lower lip his eyes soften up.

”Yeah, let’s sit.” He prompts and I nod following his figure to the dining table where we sit on the opposite sides of it. We drink our beverages in peace for a few minutes before I lick my lips nervously opening my mouth to talk.

”I like having you here Jin. This Christmas with you was wonderful even your bad puns are surprisingly funny.” The man in front of me giggles at that, hearing that I had fun with him dismissed some of his insecurities and he looks more relaxed sitting before me sipping on his drink occasionally, waiting.

”I’m sorry for ignoring you it was very childish of me and you deserve an explanation. If I’m being honest you scare me.” His eyebrows shoot up at the mention and I’m eager to make things clear. I don’t want him to take my words literally. ”Or maybe it’s me. I don’t know. But what I do know is that I like you a lot. It scares me because you’re a soldier and you’re never home and I would be so worried wondering about if you are safe.”

”Even if I say all of that I couldn’t make myself to unlike you because you’re funny bad pun or not, caring and affectionate and too good for this world...I just really like you.”

Shying away from his intense stare I choose to observe the rim of my mug watching the dark liquid swirl in my cup when a finger tapped on my chin to look up. The brightest smile adorned Jin’s face that is so close our noses almost touch.

”I normally hate to say that our moms were right all along but right now I’m just glad that they made us spend this Christmas together.” Seokjin’s forehead knocks against mine as we laugh, nodding subtly to avoid more damage as my smile spreads wider I notice how Jin’s eye keeps looking between my eyes and lips and I can’t wait for him to finally reduce the short distance closing my eyes to fully appreciate his finger caressing my jaw, cupping my face letting our breaths entangle for a short second before I get to taste the coffee on his lips.

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amazildoessomethingstupid · 3 years

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Chapter 68: December

Hey guys, welcome back. As you can tell by the title, we have a very special rant in store. As you guys may know, this rant series is meant to be about me catching up with BCB and where it’s been going recently, and give my thoughts about it. But today we are going to be doing something a little different, instead we are going to go back. And I mean WAY back. To one of if not the most notorious, the most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl. That’s right boys and girls…

WARNING: Very long Tumblr breaking rant below the break.

If you’re wondering why I’m doing this, it’s mostly because I wanted to do another Let’s Rant video but most of the boys don’t know about BCB. So when I made comparisons to December, they didn’t really understand what I was talking about. And I know that some of you new viewers may not understand why people hate December as much as we do. To really understand, you must put yourself in the shoes of a dedicated reader. Back to the year of 2011, a simpler time. A dark time. And we start off with one of my personal favorite pages in Bittersweet Candy Bowl.

SNOW. FUCKING SNOW!

FUCK. YEEEAAAAAAAH! LET’S HEAR IT FOR FUCKING SNNNNNNOOOOOWWWWWWWW!

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Alright that may seem like an over reaction, but let me set the stage for you alright, because at the time that this chapter came out I was a dedicated reader. And I mean full blown fan, waiting for the hour to change to read the pages as they came out. And at this time, Taeshi was going through a real rough time and it was quite apparent to everyone who was in the community. The plot seemed to stagnate, and there wasn’t much happening. Taeshi’s behavior had grown very strained and it was the common consensus that she needed to take a break.

So she did, and in order to take a break the upload schedule turned to two pages a week… The problem was that up to this point, Bittersweet Candy Bowl was uploading on an every other day upload schedule. Now the problem that comes when you slow down your schedule like that, is that it’s meant to be temporary, or that you compensate that with content in the pages and chapter that makes the wait more bearable or at least less tedious…

Now with all that in mind. Imagine if you will, that you had to wait 4 days for a new page to start a new chapter, and you were greeted by…

FUCKING SNOW! And a dread filled your heart as you realized you’d have to stare at snow for another full 2 days before you could look at something else, and hope that it’s more interesting than fucking. Snow.

The next page does not disappoint though, because now we actually have characters! And dialogue!

And look a joke, haha! Except

Look at all the characters in this page. You got Daisy, you got Paulo, you got abbey, you got David, you got sir Noodles, and you got a reinforcing action to remind us about how Abbey and Paulo’s relationship is.

Guess how how many or which of these characters actually matter in this chapter or have an effect on it. Can you guess?

Yup, yeah that’s right none of em. Not a single fucking one of these characters matter. Not a single fucking thing in this page fucking matters at all, it barely even constitutes as a set up for the rest of the chapter. Congratulations, we just wasted a week of your time. Actually I was wrong, you know what the one and only thing that this page does that means anything?

There! That one fucking line. You waited a whole fucking week to digest two pages and all it really tells you that you didn’t know is what FUCKING TIME IT IS! EXCEPT EVEN THAT IS TOLD TO YOU

BY THE TITLE OF THE FUCKING CHAPTER! I am losing my shit this early because I want to make it abundantly clear just how infuriating this chapter was to read. This was when I realized we were in for a LONG ride. To better understand this, the chapters that preceded this one were centered around Lucy’s slow decline into depression, after her friendship with Mike had become fractured leading to her isolating (or at least distancing herself) from Mike (and the rest of the gang by proxy). This chapter was billed to be the culmination of all that fallout, which makes this pacing SO GRATING.

Thankfully page 3 actually does have characters that matter, and it actually is a set up for what the chapter is going to be centered around which is the kids working on a World War 2 Essay.

And we finally get a bit of substance to sink our teeth into! But before we go any further I should tell you a bit about my. Man. Mike. So Mike is a moody bitch. I talked a bit about what happened to Lucy, but Mike despite literally NOTHING happening to him directly since then aside from the rest of the gang not understanding why he wanted to separate from Lucy is still being moody and bitchy. And here we see him reach PEAK MOODY MIKE!

Haha that’s an actually good joke. I appreciated that when it came out.

And so, because Mike is being a moody bitch he ends up sealing his fate and is paired with Lucy. And for a second here, I had hope. Since Taeshi is pretty much declaring how frustrating and stupid Mike’s moodiness has been for the past number of chapters. Also while we’re here, I’d like to point out how everyone in this page apparently got their arm lopped off. I mean look!

At least Lucy was able to find her right arm at the end there. But also, look at Abbey!

Oh look at him, you can see how he cares about Mike’s position on distancing from Lucy! Awww such a good friend. Oh he’s definitely not going to make a heel turn and accuse others of not caring about Mike!

I am so glad I saved that image.

Anyway the next page is Mike and Lucy deciding to go to the library to work on the essay.

And then the page after that is Lucy trying to make an effort to ease the awkwardness, while Mike gives her the cold shoulder. Congratulations. We have spent a week, walking to the fucking library.

The monotony is broken up though, as we get to see that Augustus is at this library.

It doesn’t stop the back and forth that we just got in the last two pages from continuing though, and as a reminder this is all that we’ve been given to sustain ourselves for three whole weeks!

At least Augustus is able to break up this feet-dragging by giving us SOMETHING different to talk about.

Ooh look, something actually interesting! We get some insight into Lucy and Augustus’ relationship. For context, Augustus has been a very interesting side-character; one of the best. And his relationship with Lucy is a pretty nice one with its own complexities and great chemistry. As I’ve mentioned before, Lucy had spent the last few chapters isolating herself from Mike to try to let things cool off and respect his wishes. In that time, she ended up finding company in Augustus, the resident bad boy. He was suspected of attempted rape on Daisy, but we’re not talking about that.

Well maybe a little.

Lucy expresses what she’s dealing with and like before, she’s trying to find understanding from Augustus.

And he is having NONE OF IT! As someone who actually has serious problems, he calls Lucy out for being a privileged blue-eyed white cat whose only problem in life is being rejected by someone she loves.

But Augustus does give Lucy some advice, in how he sees and deals with his situation. Showing that while he does think Lucy is stupid for even thinking about killing herself over Mike, he does want to help her. It’s just…

He’s wrong. He’s so fucking wrong.

We now know through the power of hindsight, that Abbey and Daisy’s relationship was a total sham! It wasn’t a healthy loving relationship at all! It was all a lie!

GOTTA LOVE THEM RETCONS AMIRITE?!

Nah we haven’t even STARTED to begin.

Anyway, Augustus leaves and we’re back to this bullshit. Now Mike’s not just being moody, he’s being judgy!

Oh no, fuck you Lucy! I don’t want anything to do with you, I want you to be out of my life!

Hey, what are you doing, talking and having a conversation with someone I don’t care about? Stop being such a leech! Just because I don’t want you to be in my life, doesn’t mean you can just go and move on to find company in other people! Why don’t you just die alone and unloved like I tell you to?!

But don’t worry right after, Lucy breaks the ice and gets a smile out of the boy!

It’s a breath of fresh air, and we see the dynamic with the two is still there and-

No, I didn’t buy that when this page came out either. It’s meant to portray that Lucy can make Mike feel better and break him out of his funk, but…yeah at this point I knew better. By the way, it has now been one whole month of December.

And we’re only a third of the way through.

And thankfully we’re out of the library. And even more fortunately…

Taeshi learned that you don’t have to spend two whole updates on moving your characters from one location to the other! She’s learned you can smash two pages together and NOT WASTE YOUR AUDIENCE’S FUCKING TIME!

As for the actual content of this page, Lucy and Mike go to Mike’s house and we get a bit of Lucy interacting with Mike’s family, and how they get along well. Mike’s still moody as ever though, and we get our first glimpse that things aren’t perfect for him. Also

RIP the boy, Chris. he ain’t dead but I do miss him.

Anyway, the two go to Mike’s room to study, and it’s still awkward until Lucy breaks the silence!

Old joke is old, but I love it nonetheless.

Okay, enough foolin’ around. Actually Lucy decides that she’s tired of pussyfooting around, and decides to say, “fuck it” and let off some steam by playing some video games like old times!

Mike is of course denying it and content in stewing in his anger. But lucy is adamant about doing something to break this stupid cycle of drama. I like it. Even though I didn’t buy the bit of Lucy making Mike laugh by showing a funny face, this one I do like. And while some (especially at the time) would point to this as an example of Lucy emotionally manipulating Mike to get what she wants in making him not angry at her, I would say-

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME HAVE THIS ONE, JUST THIS ONCE! I HAVE BEEN SO GOD DAMN CONTENT STARVED, THIS FUCKING DRAMA HAS BEEN GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS! MIKE AND LUCY HAVEN’T TALKED OR ADVANCED THEIR POSITIONS IN MONTHS! LET ME EMBRACE THIS ONE LIGHT IN DARKNESS BEFORE IT IS SNUFFED OUT! LET. ME. HAVE. HOPE.

THANK YOU!

And so after a bit of a timelapse we get to see Mike and Lucy playing together, and how the turns tabled!

It’s great, and we even get a glimpse at how Lucy has been progressing herself. Perhaps the improvement in gaming being a metaphor of her own self-improvement.

We even get a bit of Mike reflecting and thinking how it is nice. And remembering that Lucy isn’t really that bad.

The scene continues, and we get a peek into Mike’s circumstance. As Mike kind of reveals that he himself has felt quite alone without Lucy there. And it’s really touching, it’s good character development.

And Lucy continues to take initiative to stop the awkwardness, by giving Mike a distraction. Not looking to fill the hole in his heart, not looking to force him to accept her. But allowing him to enjoy himself in the moment. It’s nice. It’s…

Really…nice…

Y’know…

It really was nice.

Ladies and gentlemen.

This is December.

[redacted due to Tumblr purposes. insert the entire Mike yelling scene from January here]

One month. That’s how long this scene lasted in real-time. Everyone who was a fan in 2011, everyone who had been so deeply invested in these characters watching them grow, interact, struggle, and suffer for years. All of them could only watch for one entire month as Taeshi ripped their hearts out. People defended this scene when it came out. There’s still people who defend this scene to this day, saying that Mike was right. I wasn’t one of those people. When this scene came out, I was shocked. I couldn’t understand what was going on, but I knew it was wrong. It was the first time I ever got into a discussion about BCB, because I just had to understand what the fuck was happening and why. Why is this happening? Why would Mike do this? How is this possible? And the only response I got, was that I just couldn’t understand. And y’know…

They were right. I didn’t understand. I was never really abused as a child. I never had bad friends, or was really bullied (except one time). There was no way I could grasp what the fuck just happened. Which felt so bizarre, because when this chapter came out…I was 15. I was the same age as these characters and I couldn’t fathom doing what Mike just did. I couldn’t imagine any of my friends saying what Mike just said. And yet everyone else seemed to understand, to the point I thought that I was the weird one. Did I just fucking win the social lottery or something and just not have any shitty friends?

Maybe so…But y’know after all these years, stewing and thinking about December which has haunted me as I’m sure it has, many other readers. And after all this time, running it around my head, and arguing about it, I think I finally understand. I get it…I finally get what Mike’s saying here.

That being said, no this scene is still bullshit.

Now let me tell you why.

First of all, look at this face.

Just look at this dopey doe-eyed cute cat right here, BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER SEE THAT AGAIN.

But just to recap, let’s start with the actual preamble to the bullshit. Mike gets a text from Sandy which makes him revert back to his moody Mike self. And I will say at least here, Mike is in character. He’s been a bitch this whole chapter, and he’s just snapping back to it because he is reminded “Oh yeah, Sandy exists!” so he tells Lucy to beat it.

Lucy is understandably frustrated because we were seeming to finally get to a better place between these two characters. And instead of Mike being upfront about what his problem is, he chooses to shutdown the conversation and act like there’s nothing. Or to put it in another way…

So what exactly is causing Mike to revert to his moody mode?

Right, right, of course. It’s because Sandy’s coming! And just to catch up those of us blessed enough to not remember…

This is Sandy. Mike’s long time long-distance girlfriend and central conflict for BCB for the last…well for pretty much most of BCB at this point. Mike loves her, bordering on the point of obsession. To where most of his actions in BCB can be linked directly to Sandy. We’ll get to that later, but this is all you really need to know right now. Just briefly keep it in mind,

Lucy is surprisingly taking it in stride, or at least trying to be supportive of Mike and Sandy’s relationship. Obviously it does hurt her, but she is trying to make the best of it. Taking what Augustus had said to heart, in accepting Mike and Sandy’s relationship but still trying to be there for Mike. Using that to grow and maybe be a stronger person.

But sadly…this is December.

And nothing is allowed to grow in December.

Well…yes. Partly because we were literally told NINE PAGES AGO!

I believe this is what the kids call…gaslighting. But I prefer to call it

BULLSHIT!

But now we’re getting into it…

Let’s dig into the real hard bullshit of December.

You ready?

I’m ready.

Yes, right. Lucy is a bitch who has absolutely nothing for Mike, and never acted like a friend, or god forbid did something selfless for Mike like oh I don’t know…

Risking her life to try to save you from drowning, when she herself couldn’t swim and knew it could very well lead to her death.

Or what about when she was almost raped, and put literally put herself between you and danger!

TWICE! Wait, what the hell? They changed Confrontation! She’s supposed to say…

Because before mike got pinned he was saying…

That was like an actually cool and bad ass line. One of the best moments in BCB, why would you change it? Why would you change it to something as soft as that? And I’m the guy who wrote a comic where the moral of the story is that you can solve everything through the power of friendship!

But I digress. Was Lucy mean to Mike? Yeah. Did she pick on him a lot in the early chapters? Sure! But here’s the thing that people seem to forget about those early volumes…

Mike was kind of a little shit back then!

Lucy often picked on Mike because he was doing something wrong like trying to treat her like Sandy.

And lest you forget, Mike was more than capable of doing the exact same things!

Yes Lucy picked on Mike, but Mike also gave shit to Lucy. They both were active participants in giving shit to one another, but no it’s not bullying. It’s giving someone shit for doing something stupid, to keep them grounded, it’s a form of support that helps to build someone up not just through violent means, but because you care enough to want them to stop being stupid. And as the saying goes, “A good friend will hold you and support you to tell you everything will be okay no matter what. Your best friend, will kick you in the side and tell you to stop being a pussy and get over it.”

BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS FUCKING DO! THEY DON’T LIFT YOU UP! THEY MAKE YOU PICK YOURSELF UP! AND Y’KNOW WHY MIKE IS THINKING THIS WAY? YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING CHERRY ON TOP OF THIS BULLSHIT CAKE IS?!

Sandy…

Mother…Fucking…Sandy. Up to this point Sandy herself had little to no presence as a person in this story. I mean she had an effect on a lot of things, but as an actual character we never got to see much of her personality outside of one standalone chapter: To the Top which only served to give us a shallow and basic understanding of her character. But even then, as far as actual personality, writing, hobbies, and chemistry we really didn’t get much at all as far as understanding who she is. The only things we knew for certain was that she’s in a long-term long-distance relationship with Mike. She’s a model. She goes to school. And she’s beautiful. That’s it. But that in and of itself doesn’t make Sandy a bad character. I mean for cryin’ out loud, two my favorite characters that I shoe-horn into all my projects are McCain and Carter. And they’re the most one-note characters in this comic! No, the problem with Sandy isn’t that we don’t know anything about her. It’s that despite us knowing nothing about her, Sandy has her fingerprints on almost every fucking conflict in Bittersweet Candy Bowl. And worse, the only purpose she seems to have on the comic is INFLUENCING MIKE! Let me pull some examples…

Mike and Lucy go on an adventure into the city which fleshes out the inner problems in their relationship.

Because Sandy might be there.

Mike and Lucy are starting to act awkward with each other, and it’s making everyone take notice. Why?

Because Mike is delusional about Sandy.

In the chapter directly after that, Mike is now suddenly obnoxiously happy and giddy, why?

Because he finally got to talk with Sandy!

It’s Christmas time, and Tess is having a party and Mike’s coming, why?

BECAUSE OF FUCKING SANDY!

Mike rebuffs Daisy’s advances during the carnival date…why?

Because of Sandy!

Although, to be fair of course there WAS a lot of other things going on in that scene, primarily Daisy being REALLY pushy, and needy. So it’s not JUST because of Sandy. It was because we just weren’t ready for Slut Daisy. The Free Daisy.

Tess is organizing a group vacation trip to Acapulco!

And what’s this? Mike doesn’t want to go? Is it because he thinks Lucy is gonna go and he wants to separate himself from her? Is it because he’s finally woken up and decided to stand up for himself?!

NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT’S BECAUSE OF MOTHER FUCKING SANDY! AND THE WORST PART OF IT ALL, IS THAT NONE OF THESE SCENES ARE EVER DIRECTLY BECAUSE OF SANDY’S ACTIONS AS A PERSON! IT’S LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE SHE EXISTS! YOU COULD MAKE UP ANYTHING ABOUT SANDY, AND SHE WOULD STILL HAVE THE SAME FUCKING IMPACT ON THE STORY THAT SHE HAS HAD UP TO THIS POINT! All that Sandy’s character has been used for is just a means of influencing Mike!

And that’s not a character…that’s a plot device.

And nothing makes that point more clear…than this scene.

We get a scene where Mike is talking with Sandy, and he shows how over and over, Lucy’s jabs and abuses which were played for laughs in Volume 1 apparently were a super serious problem and we should’ve seen them as such. Now as a reader, I didn’t buy that for a fucking second, for reasons I’ve already explained. However, Sandy being on the other side of that long-distance relationship doesn’t fully understand the situation. But still she’s very worried and concerned for Mike, which leads to this.

Sandy making Mike hate Lucy. Some have pointed out that this is actually a good scene. Because here we get to see that Sandy at least cares about Mike. Except that, if you strip away those tears, and all the bullshit. What little characterization we get here, which is shit we already know in Sandy caring about Mike and Lucy’s relationship. Is something we should already know. She’s in a long-term long-distance relationship with Mike SHE FUCKING BETTER CARE ABOUT LUCY! The problem though, is like I said… Sandy isn’t treated like a fucking character. She’s treated like a fucking plot device! If she were an actual character, we should’ve seen her actually have a back and forth with Mike. The whole conversation about Lucy should’ve come up a LONG time ago. Because if she were treated like an actual character with agency…

She would’ve already known this.

You telling me that after how many phone calls, in the time that elapsed between these phone scenes Mike never actually told her about Lucy; the other biggest part of his life?! Did Mike never tell her about the amount of times that Lucy almost died to save his life? Or the amount of times he did the same for her? No! Because that would bring character growth. And we don’t want character growth.

We want to push this narrative! We want to implant these thoughts into Mike. We want him to have a victim complex so that he can do shit like THIS!

We want to push this plot point. And Sandy is the vessel to drive it off the cliff. This is why I fucking hate December. Because worst of all THIS…

Is no longer Mike speaking. This is Sandy’s influence speaking. Now LITERALLY ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT MIKE PEDALLED ABOUT NOT WANTING TO BE LUCY’S BABY SITTER AND BULLSHIT, CAN NOW BE ATTRIBUTED TO SANDY INFLUENCING HOW MIKE SEES HIS OWN FRIENDSHIP! And since we don’t have a clear timeframe of where these calls were made, and when exactly Sandy got through to Mike, that means you could pick any time where Mike was being cold or distancing from Lucy and blame it on Sandy! Including…

This scene…

Lest you think characters were the only casualty of December’s nuclear blast, it took with it one of the most emotionally tense and moving chapters of Bittersweet Candy Bowl: A Distance Apart.

I’ve already talked about this chapter in my rant on Golden Hour (aka December 2: homosexual boogaloo) so I’m not gonna get too into how the perspective of this chapter was changed because of December, but I will say that lines like the above now are specifically what’s tainted because of December. No longer is this Mike realizing that Lucy isn’t who he thinks she is, or him realizing that their relationship is not a healthy one on his own. It’s because as he said himself!

It’s Sandy’s fault. Because all she heard about Lucy was the negative, and now all Mike can see is the negative. And this chapter is saying it’s all Sandy’s fault that Mike now has a victim complex and it’s totally fair for him to say what he’s about to say.

WAIT! DID YOU JUST SAY…

JANUARY?!

Hah, nah I’m just fuckin’ with ya. We’re trying to stay focused here, so I’m holding off on the January references. Don’t worry kids, you’re safe for now.

For now…

Let’s unpack this first, because believe it or not we still have a LOT of ground to cover. Specifically, let’s talk about Mike’s glorious plan to leave the table!

God it is taking a lot to not just paste panels from Daisy’s rant in January. You people have no idea… But to summarize, this is fucking stupid at best and manipulative at worst. What Mike is talking about, is selfishly pide-pipering their whole friend group (minus Tess because Tess doesn’t exist anymore) away from Lucy, and he’s betting all of that on the fact that he knows Daisy is still head over heels for him. And what’s absolutely stupid about this fucking idea (which by the way seems to be premeditated so this can’t even be blamed on Sandy) is that if this was Mike’s plan all along. And December didn’t happen, and he did this table move guess what? Sure. Daisy follows Mike, Abbey and Paulo follow Daisy, and David follows Paulo…and then they invite Lucy, because in case you forgot SHE’S THEIR FRIEND TOO! (also I just noticed Mike completely forgot about Susan. That’s kinda fucked up, dude.)

But not as fucked up as this! Seriously, that’s a fucking low blow. And so fucking judgy. I guess we now know where Abbey learned to stoop so low while grand standing on his high horse! And yes I have heard the “muh hormones” and “they’re just KiDs!” excuses. But none of that really explains…

WHY THE FUCK DOES MIKE CARE?! DO YOU SERIOUSLY CARE IF LUCY (as you would put it) LEACHES OFF OF PAULO? HE’S LIKE ONE OF THE TOP OFFENDERS FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY ABUSED YOU! THE MOTHERFUCKER SICCED A GAGGLE OF GIRLS TO BEAT UP ON YOU FOR BEING A “CHEATER”! Or are you worried because if Lucy clings to Paulo, then it ruins your fool-proof plan of going to another table since she’ll follow Paulo? OH NO, WE’VE FOUND A HOLE IN YOUR INGENIOUS PLAN! But speaking of worst offenders…

THIS. LINE. THIS FUCKING LINE! I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what the fuck you think. YOU DO NOT COME BACK FROM SAYING THIS. YOU CAN NOT FUCKING SAY THIS SHIT, AND THEN BE THE GOOD GUY! This is the point where I and many others realized Mike, was too far gone. And yet SOME PEOPLE WILL STILL ARGUE ABOUT THIS SHIT!

Oh you don’t understand, Amazil! He is just a stupid 16 year old ball of emotions and hormones! This has been building up THIS ENTIRE TIME! You even pointed out how Mike’s frustrations have been hinted at since the Vacation Arc! Obviously this has been hinted at for years! You’re just too ignorant to understand what Mike’s doing here! Of course he’s being overly cruel here, he feels backed into a corner, and is facing off against his abuser!

Now listen here, you may be right. I can’t, I hope, and I am grateful that; I don’t fully understand how it feels to be abused for all my life. But what I do know, is that NO ONE. Child, Teenager, or adult. Would fucking stoop that fucking low, and think they have any business. Any chance. Of coming back from that terribly burnt bridge. No one is that fucking ignorant! WHEN YOU BURN A BRIDGE LIKE THAT, WHEN YOU GO THAT FAR, YOU BETTER FUCKING BE READY TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES! AND MIKE AT THIS POINT, SHOULD KNOW VERY WELL WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES MAY INCLUDE! AS THE PERSON WHO KNOWS LUCY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE ABOUT LUCY, HE SHOULD BE FULLY FUCKING AWARE WHAT SHE IS GOING TO FUCKING DO WHEN TOLD THAT SHE IS A PARASITE AND THAT NO ONE FUCKING LOVES HER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT SHE WAS GOING TO FUCKING DO, MIKE?!

JESUS CHRIST, HE’S LITERALLY USING HER DEEPEST SECRETS AND HIDDEN INSECURITIES THAT ONLY HE KNOWS ABOUT AGAINST HER! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SUPPORT THIS SHIT? AND FURTHERMORE, “Like I’m the only one who cares about you.” TO QUOTE YOU LITERALLY A PAGE AGO!

YOU FUCKING TOLD HER THAT NOBODY LOVES HER. AND THAT SHE’S A FUCKING PARASITE! HOW ARE YOU THIS FUCKING STUPID! HOW CAN YOU STILL THINK THAT YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT? HOW DO OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT? HOW CAN YOU STOOP SO FUCKING LOW, WHILE GRAND STANDING ON YOUR HIGH HORSE?!

Now, imagine if you will, after 2 whole months of reading December. You sit there and you wonder what is going to happen now. What is left to say? What more is Mike going to do? I mean there’s no way this chapter can get any worse! There’s NO WAY that Mike can be any more of an asshole. It’s not possible! And as if to get one last knife twist out of you. To kill the last shred of hope you had, that maybe. Just maybe this could be salvaged, and Mike can’t be worse… Taeshi does this.

….

Y’know, I once heard a story that someone actually killed themselves over BCB.

And I completely believe that. Two whole months we spent, having to watch week after week as this character we cared about. Rips apart the other character we’ve spent so much time learning about, growing with, understanding, and learning to love. And how do you end this chapter?

Grindingly slow. With Lucy throwing up, then eyeing Mike’s phone.

Followed by a nothing page where Mike’s happy.

Another nothing page where Mike goes to his room.

Dialogue that means nothing.

A whole fucking page of Lucy leaving.

MORE FUCKING SNOW

And one last lie.

And that, kids. Is the chapter of December. The most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl. And I hope you’re starting to understand why that is the case. Although, I’m sure a lot of you may have some contentions especially given the newer chapters that have come out. I mean, I often compare bad or infuriating scenes to December. And many may wonder or feel like those chapters are worse than December. I mean sure Mike ripping into Lucy is bad…

But what about the one-sided and almost carbon copy of December in Golden Hour?

Or what about Guest of Honor with it’s Abbey Smash?

And what about the second coming of the Carnival Chapter, with its DISGUSTING implications?

Or lest we all forget the wonderous return of Lucy herself, in Love Again! All of these chapters are fucking terrible in their own right. And it’s debatable how they ruin some characters worse than December. But there’s one very important factor that is lost to us now, that makes December in my eyes worse than any other chapter that Taeshi has put out. One singular thing makes December worse than anything Taeshi has come out with so far… And what is that factor?

Why, it’s TIME my dear reader. Time is what sets December apart from every other chapter. Readers at the time had to spend three whole months waiting for this chapter to end. We stared at each singular page for days, waiting hours on end, hoping that the next page would somehow be better, or give us an out. Instead it got worse and worse and worse. But what also sets it apart from all those other chapters I’ve mentioned is that, unlike Guest of Honor, Golden Hour, or Return to Carnival chapter; December was a very important moment in Bittersweet Candy Bowl. Not only because of how it changed the character, but because it is one of the only times in this fucking comic where the plot actually starts to develop. And we finally get a clear conflict to grasp onto and focus on.

In the chapters that came before December, the conflict of Mike and Lucy was just slowly getting worse and worse. And for the most part it just seemed to stagnate, with Lucy trying to keep her distance from Mike, and Mike constantly giving Lucy the cold shoulder. And everyone else having to deal with that. December was meant to be (and it did succeed in becoming) a bombshell chapter. A big revelation moment where things finally kick into high gear. Like, “Oh man that was brutal!” “What’s gonna happen now? Sandy is coming!” “Lucy just got fucking REKT!” “What is she gonna do?” “Taeshi just dropped the biggest bomb on top of us, where is she gonna take us? How are we going to follow up this momentum?!”

BY RELEASING ONE OF THE LONGEST. MOST NEEDLESS CHAPTERS EVER!

FOURTY EIGHT FUCKING PAGES. ALMOST FOUR MONTHS DEDICATED TO A PLOT POINT THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE GIANT NUCLEAR BOMBSHELL THAT WAS JUST DROPPED ON US! And it’s especially needless because the entire point of this chapter is to tell us that Abbey’s mom died. Except that WE ALREADY THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD! Oh you mean this character who all we know about was that she in a terribly abusive marriage, who we have not heard from since Abbey was introduced into the comic, who was in such a terrible state that she left her son and daughter orphaned. You mean the person so fucked up, that the last time we saw them was on a fucking stretcher is…DEAD?! SAY IT AIN’T SO! Y’know, it would’ve actually been more of a twist, and a lot more interesting if we found out ABBEY’S MOM WAS ACTUALLY ALIVE!

INSTEAD OF BUILDING OFF THE FUCKING MOMENTUM THAT YOU JUST SET UP, WE GET STRUNG ALONG FOR FOURTY EIGHT FUCKING PAGES! INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON LUCY, AND USING DECEMBER AS A LAUNCHING POINT TO DRIVE THE FUCKING PLOT, ALL OF THE MOMENTUM IS GROUND TO A FUCKING HALT IN SERVICE OF A PLOT POINT THAT ULTIMATELY DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER! And if you made it through that and was hoping, “okay NOW we can start to get into the actual plot! NOW we can focus on Lucy, and what the aftermath of December is! Well…

youtube

Paulo tries to give a cake to Lucy, and he mostly fails, giving us

NOTHING!

Just beautiful! The one chapter where it would be okay to not give all the attention to Mike and Lucy’s relationship. The one chapter where we could maybe get to see Sandy be a character! Mike X Lucy is fucked, but maybe we can find comfort in Mike X Sandy! Maybe we can have some sweet moments, and strengthen this central love triangle that we’ve been dancing around for all these years! Maybe, just maybe, Sandy can be more than just a fucking plot device!

BUT NOPE! SHE’S JUST THERE TO BE USED SO THAT MIKE CAN REALIZE THAT HE WAS WRONG AND FEEL BAD, SO HE CAN TRY TO MAKE IT UP TO LUCY! TOO BAD IT’S TOO LATE, SO IF YOU WERE LOOKING TO HAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT EITHER FROM LUCY OR SANDY, I’M SORRY BUT YOU GET

TWO BIG HEAPING SERVINGS OF NOTHING!

AND IF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE STARVING FOR CONTENT BEFORE, BRACE YOURSELF FOR A ONE-PAGE CHAPTER THAT GIVES YOU

NOTHING!

AND I HOPE YOU FUCKING LIKE THAT ONE-PAGE BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO LOOK AT IT FOR

FOUR

WHOLE

MONTHS!

Although… to be fair, I think during that hiatus period Taeshi had guest comics and exclusive content to keep us occupied, but you get the point. As for the rest of the chapters…

Paulo breaks up with Jasmine in the most hackneyed fucking way possible, and we get a fake-out of Lucy’s suicide attempt.

We finally get the play chapter, and it teases us with the idea that Lucy and Mike are getting better except that no one falls for it because IT’S IN THE PLAY. AND WE ALL KNOW THAT IT’S JUST AN ACT AND IT’S FUCKING…

youtube

And then Lucy finally attempts suicide and it’s all OFF-SCREEN! THEY KILLED OFF THE MAIN CHARACTER! THE ONE FUCKING BIT THAT WE WERE ALL LOOKING FORWARD TO, AND IT’S OFF-SCREEN!

Do you see what I mean now? December isn’t just a fucking chapter. It’s an arc. The most teeth grindingly slow, and agonizing arc Taeshi ever made! This is why December is and always will be the absolute fucking worst! It’s like Taeshi knew what we wanted and refused to deliver! Instead being content with teasing the readers over and over for almost two years, with the prospect of seeing Lucy go through a depression arc. Instead, we’re focused on literally everyone else and all of Lucy’s inner turmoil, heartbreak, thoughts, and progressions are just hinted at and we’re just left in the dark. We never got to see Lucy in her final moments. What was she doing? What was she thinking? Where was she? How is she doing? We wouldn’t get that information for

Nearly four years! And even then, IT WAS ALSO BULLSHIT! December is like a nuclear warhead of a bombshell that was dropped on us, except instead of going off and blowing us away, sending us to the greater plains. It just leaked radiation everywhere and killed us from the inside slowly. Its carbon footprint can be felt to this very day, we can’t get over December. Because THE COMIC ITSELF CAN NOT GET OVER DECEMBER! People who wanted to see Lucy become a better person, to see her try to get better, get help, or do SOMETHING! Would never get that relief. When I thought about December and how it treated its characters. I felt sorry for all the people who had to read this, who felt for Lucy. Who wanted to see her get better… I felt bad because I knew deep down that we were never going to get that story…

So I did it myself…

Don’t act surprised. You knew I was gonna go there. I literally warned you! There is no way in hell I’m gonna talk about December without bringing up the comic I literally made BECAUSE of December in: January. And this time we’re looking at January as a whole. Because now that you know WHY and WHAT I hate about December, you can start to see why January was made the way it was. I feel the need to explain this, because January still gets a bad rap by people saying that it’s “hate-filled” which it’s not. January is not a death threat , nor is it meant to say “I’m better than you”, it’s not a love note to BCB, it’s a Get Well Soon card. Not necessarily saying that I can do it better, but rather this is what you could’ve done. Whether or not it’s better is up to you to decide. And with that context, you can see why January was written the way it was. And it all starts with one simple change.

Instead of just outright removing December, the only thing I changed was that Mike didn’t get paired with Lucy and throw a fit. It doesn’t spitefully act like December never happened, in fact…

December plays out the exact same way as it did in the canon, just with Susan supplementing for Lucy. So Sandy’s still coming home, Mike’s still pissed at Lucy, and he’s planning on moving to a new table to get away from her. But because Lucy’s not there…

She’s able to fucking do something.

We get to see her try.

We get to see her fail.

We see how Mike’s plan comes to fruition.

We see how things fall apart, even with Lucy’s best efforts.

We see how December still takes its toll.

We get to see her snap out of it, briefly.

We see her at her lowest point.

We see what she’s thinking and why she’s doing what she’s doing.

We see her try to figure out what to do.

We see her picking up the pieces.

We see her take action to improve herself.

We see her getting help.

We see her taking action.

We see her getting better.

We see everyone come together to support her.

We see her at the end of her journey, come to terms with what she’s done. And wanting to improve not only herself, but her friendship with Mike. She shows maturity, empathy, and most importantly GROWTH as a character.

And in the end, the reader never gets to see how Mike and Lucy end up talking things out, but they can rest easy knowing that everything is going to be okay. And if THAT’S hate-filled, I don’t know what the fuck you’d call the canon’s handling of Lucy in the December arc.

The fact that we never got to see Lucy try.

The fact that the comic kept dicking us around, and baiting us with the inevitable.

The fact it KEPT FUCKING BAITING US WITH FALSE HOPE.

The fact we don’t get to even see her at the end of the line. The fact we had to wait three years for her to come back and let us know that she’s even ALIVE!

The fact that when she does comes back, SHE’S A HORRIBLE CUNTY SHELL OF THE PERSON SHE ONCE WAS…

That… is why December is the most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl. Not just because of what it did. But because of what it didn’t do. Because it promised the end to Mike and Lucy’s drama one way or another. It promised us that we were going to tackle these issues that Mike brought up in Lucy, but yet… Here we are.

Back to square fucking one. You know what they say…Those who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it. So you better brush up on your December knowledge, or at least I hope this rant serves as a good refresher. Cause from the looks of it, we’ve been repeating these plot points for almost 10 years…

Y’know I thought I was actually going crazy there for a second. Obsessing and never getting over December for all these years. But now I see. This comic…never moved on from it. We’ve never recovered. We’ve been stuck in December for almost 10 years…

0/10 never forget…

#Bittersweet Candy Bowl #rant #holy shit this pushed the limits of Tumblr

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confusedweasleys · 5 years

Text

Enjoying The View - Fred Weasley x Reader

A/N: Hello loves! This also turned out a little emotional which is really not the direction I had planned for this imagine but whatever! Also this was once again written at crackhead hours but what can you do? As always please give me feedback if you want and remember my messages are open for requests or just if you need someone to talk to :))

Request: @iulia001 4 and 68 with Fred?

Prompts: “get out I’m naked!” (#4) and “shit when did you get hot?” (#68)

Triggers: Cursing

Word Count: 1,998

———————————————————————————————————

It was a rough match. The Quidditch pitch had been frosted over from the December snow, and harsh winds had made clear vision a struggle. When you combined the weather with Slytherin’s less-than-savory behavior, we really didn’t have a chance. But that wouldn’t stop me from blaming the loss on myself. That was how I found myself here, still showering in the Girl’s Changing rooms two hours after the match. I turned off the water and sighed. I couldn’t avoid my team forever. I knew exactly where I would find them - drowning their sorrows in the sixth year Boy’s Dormitory.

I stepped out of the showers and cursed as I scanned the Changing Room for towels and saw none. And my wand was in the co-ed room. Great. And I thought this day couldn’t get any worse. I was just deciding on making a quick dash for my wand when the door to the girl’s changing room burst open.

“Oi, Y/L/N, are you trying to drown-” Fred Weasley’s words fell out of his mouth as he smirked down at me. “Shit, Y/L/N, when did you get hot?” he said, crossing his arms and leaning against the door. “Get out I’m naked!” I shouted, my cheeks turning red. I attempted to cover myself while throwing the nearest thing I could find - which happened to be my bra - at him. “Turn the fuck around!” I shouted.

“You know, I was enjoying the view. It wasn’t much of a problem for me,” he said. Nonetheless, he turned around and faced the door.

“You’re such an arse,” I said, fuming.

“Me? Really? I’m wounded Y/L/N. And to think I came in here to check on you and bring you your wand.”

“My wand?” I asked, perking up.

“Yup, I got it right here. I was planning on giving it to you too, but since you were so rude to me, I think I’ll hang on to it.”

“Are you fucking kidding me Weasley?”

“Nope,” he said, popping the “p.”

“Give it back to me,” I said sternly.

“Ask me nicely.”

“Are you serious? No.”

“Please may I have my wand back my favourite person in the world.”

“I hate you.”

“I’m waiting,” Fred said in a sing-song voice. I huffed.

“Please may I have my wand back my favourite person in the world,” I said, lacing my voice with distain and sarcasm.

“That wasn’t so hard was it,” he said, tossing my wand over his head. I snatched it out of the air and quickly summoned a towel.

“Now out Weasley. Now,” I said sternly as I wrapped the towel around myself.

“Sorry,” he said turning around. “No can do.”

“And may I ask why not?” I said, attempting to stay calm.

“Katie and Alicia assigned me to Y/N watch. They think you’re gonna try to off yourself after this disaster of a match.”

“That’s fucking ridiculous,” I said, scoffing. “And did I say you could turn around?” He shrugged his shoulders.

“I may have exaggerated a little bit. But, they did mention the possibility of self-destructive and rash behavior.” I snorted. “I’ve also been told to retrieve you for the pity party currently going on in Oliver’s dorm.” I groaned.

“Fine, I’ll meet everyone up there.”

“Noo, Katie and Alicia made it quite clear that I was to make sure you get there.”

“Fred this is fucking ridiculous, just go.” He just looked at me and sat down stubbornly. I groaned again. “Fine. Please at least leave so I can change.” He turned around and faced the door again. I huffed and changed quickly. I knew arguing with him would only mean spending more time with him.

We left the changing rooms and walked up to Gryffindor Tower. I was fuming. I knew Katie and Alicia had sent him just to get on my nerves, and boy was it working. I did not like Fred Weasley. In fact I hated him. I suppose my hatred had begun two years ago. Before the incident, Fred and I had been best friends. That is, until he broke my arm during a game of Quidditch one summer at the Burrow. The broken bone wasn’t the end of our friendship. In fact, Mrs. Weasley had fixed my bone herself in about six minutes. Our friendship ended right after, when Fred refused to talk to me for months. After he started to talk to me again, I was too hurt and confused to respond. He had shut me out and hurt me, and I hadn’t been ready to accept him back into my life. Eventually, he didn’t even talk to me. He just pulled pranks on me with George and joked around. I don’t really know where all my hate comes from. Actually scratch that, I know exactly where it comes from. It comes from old pain that never went away, because I had been in love with Fred at the time, and he shut me out. I just didn’t like to admit that part.

“So Y/L/N,” Fred said, breaking me out of my daze. “Care to clue me in on these ‘self-destructive behaviors’ Katie and Alicia mentioned?”

“Not really,” I said. “Actually Weasley, I’d rather not talk at all.”

“And why is that?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows. “Is there something else you’d rather do?”

“Yes, I’d rather kiss the giant squid, take a Potions exam, die...” I said sweetly. He chuckled.

“You can try to resist me all you want, Y/L/N, but I’ll get you,” he said stretching his arms. I gagged and was saved from having to respond by the Fat Lady.

“Password?” she asked.

“Amor secretus,” I responded. I climbed through the portrait hole quickly, hoping to leave the red-head behind me. I cursed under my breath when I turned and saw him following me up the spiral staircase. A cheer greeted us when I opened the door to the sixth year Boy’s Dormitory.

“There are the lovebirds!” Alicia said, slurring slightly.

“You guys we gone for quite a while,” said George waggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes and went to sit with Alicia and Katie.

“Thank you guys,” I said. “For making tonight so much worse than I thought it could get.” Alicia rolled her eyes and Katie pouted. They dropped their voices as the rest of the team engaged in a rant about the dirty tactics of the Slytherin team.

“So really nothing happened?” Katie asked.

“Of course, what did you think would happen if you forced me to spend time with someone I hate?”

“Oh I don’t know, you guys would hook up, realize you’re in love with each other...” Alicia said pointedly.

“Good Lord Alicia shut the fuck up.”

“Alrightie, clearly we’ve touched a nerve. But Y/N don’t you see that he’s been in love with you for two years.” Katie said as she looked at me.

“He’s not in love with me Katie, he wants to fuck me. That’s a big difference.” I stood up and walked out of the room, despite Katie and Alicia’s quiet protests. I didn’t care. I was not in the mood for this tonight. I walked up the dorm’s spiral staircase, to the very top. “Lumos,” I whispered, casting light over the window that was always kept ajar. I pushed it all the way open, and crept out the window. The Gryffindor tower roof was the best place to think at night. I climbed out into the cool winter air and took a deep breath. The cold burned my lungs. It cleared my head as I looked at the stars.

Why was I so upset? Deep down, I knew it wasn’t because of the match anymore. I had actually been playing a great game, until Marcus Flint decided to sic the two Slytherin beaters on me. I mostly blamed Toby Somper, who had been our substitute Seeker (since Harry had landed himself in the Hospital Wing again). That left Fred. God, why did he still bother me like this. Lots of guys were horny. I had definitely dealt with other guys hitting on me just because they wanted to hook up. So why was Fred different? Why did it bother me so much? “Fuck” I said, as tears sprung to my eyes.

“Y/N?” said a soft voice from the window below me.

“Shit,” I said under my breath, as Fred clambered onto the roof.

“What do you want Weasley?” I said, wiping my eyes on my sleeve.

“I wanted to see if you were alright,” he said looking down as he sat next to me.

“Well clearly, I’m doing great,” I said sarcastically. “So you can go now.” He didn’t say anything, just sat next to me in silence.

“Why do you hate me Y/N,” he said suddenly, looking at me. I stared at him, and felt anger bubble to my surface again.

“Maybe because we were best friends until you decided I wasn’t good enough for you or something. Maybe because you broke my heart.” Just as quickly as it had come, I felt the anger disappear. Then I was just left with a heavy weight in my chest. “I don’t hate you Weasley. But seeing you just reminds me of everything that happened, and it still hurts. It hurts,” I said, meeting his eyes. Then he leaned in and kissed me. And for some god damn reason, I kissed him back. To my surprise, he broke the kiss. He looked at me in disbelief.

“You kissed me back,” he said. I groaned and looked away.

“Well, don’t expect it to ever happen again.”

“Why not?” he said, touching my hand. I slid my hand away.

“Because I still don’t like you Weasley.”

“That kiss seemed to say otherwise,” he said. “So why not?”

“Maybe because I still care about you for some stupid reason, despite all that’s happened between us, despite all of our history, while all you want is a hook-up buddy.”

“God you’re thick,” he said, groaning.

“Excuse me?”

“How could you not know that I’m in love with you,” he said looking away from me for the first time. “It’s pretty bloody obvious.” I looked at him with disbelief etched onto my face.

“You’re in love with me?” I asked in a small voice. He sighed.

“Why do you think I volunteered to go get you after the match? Why do you think that I spend an unholy amount of time annoying you? Why do you think I didn’t know how to talk to you after I broke your arm two years ago?”

“Well - I um -” I stuttered. “Fred this is absurd, you aren’t in love with me.”

“Oh really?” he said, his eyes burning. “You always wear red on Mondays because you think it will make the first day of the week a little bit brighter. Your best friends are Katie and Alicia, but you’ll go to Katie for everyday troubles and Alicia for more serious issues. Your favorite shop in Hogsmead is Zonko’s, but you spend more time in Honeyduke’s because you have an unholy addiction to Sugar Quills and sometimes Chocolate Frogs. You’re favorite book Wizard Thieves because you think the characters are amazingly written even if the plot can be a little dry at times. Also you-” he broke off, looking over at me, where my mouth was hanging open. “Well, you get the point.”

“I just...well I...” I trailed off, unable to find words. I grabbed his hand back. “Well, it might please you to know that I’m in love with you too,” I said shakily, looking into his eyes. They lit up like a little kid’s.

“You mean it?” he asked.

“I do,” I said, closing the gap between our lips. He smiled into the kiss.

“You said that would never happen again,” he said grinning from ear to ear.

“Shut up and kiss me,” I said, rolling my eyes and I pulled him in.

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley oneshot #fred weasley x you #fred weasley x oc #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley angst #fred weasley smut #harry potter imagine #weasley imagine #george wealsey x reader #george weasley

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akatsuki-celeste · 3 years

Text

I can feel my anxiety medication wearing off so before I re-up it, because if ever there was a day that I just need to keep it going - I feel the need to scream into the void first.

I haven’t talked about my personal life that much save for a few depressive, anxiety-fueled rants before, and maybe this is just one more of those but longer. But today was the last day in a long saga of days that has just made me....really question *everything*. It’s probably the closest I’ve ever felt to being absolutely done.

So the last year and a half has been quite the roller coaster and occasional hell for me, as I imagine it has been for everyone else on the planet. Everyone has their own 2020 story to tell, everyone’s is important, so I haven’t made a huge deal out of mine. I’m luckier than most. So this isn’t a post where I’m going to go on and on about how rough I’ve had it, etc, etc. This is just going to be about...me. The facts, as seen by me.

In March 2020, my work began efforts to roll out a remote work plan that I qualified to start early due to being immunocompromised thanks to a fun little auto-immune disease called ulcerative colitis. I’ve been diagnosed since I was 18, so basically half my life, and the medication I had been on then, Remicade, was one I’d been using for the last decade with absolutely no issues except maybe I get really tired and like naps afterwards. All of that went smooth. I felt relieved that I, at least, was going to be at home. One of my roommates, also a co-worker, was able to work out the same situation so we didn’t even need to deal with transportation for her until the official lockdown.

And then a week - possibly less, my memory is hazy - my roommates (my then-best friend and her brother) got into a screaming fight of such epic proportions that I had an actual mental breakdown in the middle of (first for me). I remember hiding in my room with my laptop - I was still trying to work for some reason, I do remember eventually telling my boss I had a family emergency so I could log off - I remember calling my mother in a panic, and then I remember waking up at my parents’ house about 6 hours later and finding out that my mother had told my former roommates to gtfo, which I did not attempt to rescind (not at the time, because apparently I was there when it happened but I don’t remember this, and not later) because I knew living with them was no longer feasible for a number of reasons which I will not go into. I’m still dealing with five years of mental abuse and trauma on that one.

By the first week of April they were gone, and I was able to busy myself for the next few months with making my place habitable for one person again, which was a good distraction. And then September came around and I started to notice these, well, patches on my skin. At first I thought it was just eczema or dry skin irritation, it happens sometimes. But with each month they got worse and worse, until December finally rolls around and the only conclusion anyone can come up with is that my trusty Remicade, which had successfully kept my UC in check for a decade, had finally decided to stop playing nice with my body and I was having a “psoriasis-like” reaction. So for the first time in a long while I was starting the medication shuffle again, steroid creams and a new UC medication that took nearly 4 months to get approved. I’m still not recovered even though I’ve been off of Remicade for 7 months now. It takes 6 months for that stuff to fully work its way out of a system, so the reactions didn’t stop until a few weeks ago and I’m still struggling to heal. I’d say it’s about 75% better than it was, but showers still suck, pants also suck, and I can’t tolerate temperatures higher than 70 degrees (hi summer, you suck). Also during this time I got the COVID vaccine (woo!) but seriously, if not for remote work I probably would have lost my job. I used up most of my sick leave in the beginning of the year because I couldn’t move without pain, even to sit at the computer for 8 hours. I also have a ton of PTO, but my boss told me that I couldn’t necessarily use it for sick leave (news flash for me) and again, could lose my job if I tried to use it too much. So trigger my anxiety. A lot.

Fast forward. In one week my office is reopening for 50% capacity, which apparently means to upper management that we have to all work 3 days a week in office, 2 days remote, which doesn’t match the math but whatever. They’ve also stopped screening temperatures, have nixed the social distance requirement, and are only requiring masks for the unvaccinated - but aren’t requiring anyone to say whether they are or not. Needless to say, not exactly the best reassurance for my still-immunocompromised ass, not to mention the dress code will murder my skin. So I ask about continuing remote work and get told I need an ADA accommodation. Okay. I get the paperwork and pass it on to my GI; I was already on FMLA for my UC, figured this wouldn’t be that different.

Except my GI has refused to sign the paperwork, saying there’s no medical reason for me to continue remote work. Despite still not being recovered from the skin reaction I got back in December from the Remicade, despite finding information that Remicade potentially interferes with the vaccine, I’ve been told to just adhere to social distancing and mask-wearing despite my employer not requiring that of anyone else. And with all the information about the delta variant coming out.... yeah, I’m scared. Probably paranoid, probably anxious. I have no idea how I’m going to get through a work day without having to medicate and I won’t be able to function if I have to do that. i see my psych before RTW-Day, but only a few days before.

My last chance is that the dermatologist I’m seeing on Wednesday might be able to fill it out based on my condition, but at the moment I’m in a cycle of panic that I’m going to be told it’s Not That Bad and not get taken seriously. Which is a feeling I’ve been having a lot lately. I know it’s partly the depression and anxiety ramping itself up, but I just don’t know what to do now. All I want to do right now is press the restart button. Sell my place, relocate to a new place so radically different from where I am now that I can’t even compare it, start over. Get a puppy, write a novel, not be in $33k worth of debt. This wasn’t where I’d hoped to be at 36, and now it feels like it’s going to be another 5-6 years before I can get there. If I can get there. It seems like another lifetime.

Anyway. That ends my void screaming. TLDR, I have to start working in the office again in a week, I’ve been told by my GI that my auto-immune disease doesn’t qualify me for an ADA accommodation to keep working from home, my anxiety is now living with me instead of me living with it, and my last shot is a dermatologist I’ve never met before.

#personal #anxiety #depression #immunocompromised #COVID #psoriasis #but not exactly psoriasis #Remicade #ulcerative colitis #someone please just get me out of here

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readbyred · 3 years

Text

Just a self-insert story

It's not romantic, it has some CharTed implications but nothing involving my s/i. It's just a vent, sort of, because well it's always nice to get it all out and have someone take my side (even if I'm not really in the right here).

What you need to know about my s/i is that she’s fairly new in the office and her name is R.J because I’m red and ‘J’ seemed to sound the best in there so her middle name is Julie now.

The story is long and was written as a dialogue-stylised vent. The rest was written after I finished and the quality varies. Also there is cursing and a sappy, probably rushed ending. I hope it's not that ooc but you know how it is.

Julie rarely came out to the balcony unless she needed something from a friend of hers. Today was one of those days so when she realized that Charlotte was nowhere near in sight she made her way out. What she didn't expect was to see Ted standing there with her, also smoking. He rarely did, mostly he would just lock himself in his office and do whatever.

The two weren't talking, being completely honest Julie had realized some time before, that something must have shifted, when she first came into work they seemed pretty close but lately they distance themselves from each other. For a moment she paused unsure if she should touch on the subject that was the reason of her talk around their coworker but in the end she approached them anyways.

“Could we talk for a moment?” she leaned over standing between them and looking at the road beneath.

“Oh sure! Here or...?” Charlotte threw a quick glance at the man behind Julie who not so discretely began showing signs of interest in whatever the topic of the conversation was.

“Yeah it’s no secret. I just want to get something off my chest. It's about Adam” she said his name quietly in a suvgestive tone, as if she tried to censor herself although the three of them were the only ones around.

“What is it? I must warn you I'm not good at advice, but I’ll still listen if you want me to” giving her a weak smile the woman waited.

“We’ve been going out lately. You know how it is” Ted now fully turned his head towards them not hiding that he was in fact listening but Red didn't notice still looking at the cars passing by.

“That engineer guy? Aww, congratulations!” feeling a hand on her shoulder Julie looked up but the smile she gave Charlotte wasn't sincere, it was just tired.

“Oh, thank you it's just... Oh well no need to get all sappy, I know, but I can't help but feel some sort of way about it” she shook her head at her visibly concerned friend ” Don't get me wrong he’s lovely! I'm just being silly”

“Well, I could help you, I have some experience in relationships-”

“Yeah, lots of it...” Ted started bitterly walking up to the two talking women “Anyways, yeah sure tell us about your perfect, dream guy. What problems could you have if he’s so great”

“Ted-” Charlotte shot him a look.

“Unless he’s not. Didn't you say he went out for a ‘business meeting’ again?”

“Yeah, about that...” Julie looked down.

“What about it?” Charlotte turned her attention away from their coworker yet again.

“So” Julie began “I don't know what we are, it's all complicated lately”

“Oh I'm sorry to hear that, I've been through rough times with my Sam and I could help you some or recommend a professional?” as soon as Charlotte said the word ‘professional’ Ted opened his mouth say something but quickly shut it.

“I appreciate that but I'm afraid it's far beyond just rough. He’s great! Things are just getting bizarre. I mean we haven't been properly dating since last year before I came to work here, you know? He was so thoughtful and, oh, so charming and goodness gracious, I was awful. I broke things off” her mood shifted from nervous to upset, fiddling with her hands she continued to intensely observe the cars passing by “He didn't take that well, I can't blame him cause I know I shouldn't have done it. He was sad a lot and it made him so... Angry at times, at our mutual friends and all. He told me he doesn't wanna see me, to get out of his life. We’ve known each other since diapers, I know I deserved everything he said it just... Hurt, you know? Oh how selfish I must sound!”

“But you two are still talking aren't you? So it all must have been fixed?” Charlotte offered her a smile “Me and my husband don't argue that openly, I think, so I might not be able to relate here but if you’ll tell us more I'm sure we can figure something out”

“Really thank you. Both of you. Here I am taking away your lunch break with all my silly ramblings” shaking her head a bit she gave both of them the same sad smile she had before. It was then when they noticed she seemed to have shrunken in herself, not only tired but also strangely worried.

“No problem, it's not a big deal I'm sure” her coworker tried to reassure glancing up “Right?”

“Yeah, yeah could you just move on with the story?” it seemed like it took all his inner strength for Ted not to leave although neither of the women understood why would that be. Charlotte knew he was like that sometimes, when she tried to talk about Sam with him it went pretty similar. That didn't mean however she understood more of it than Julie did “You broke up. He started acting like a jerk”

“Oh he didn't, I had no right to hurt him like that! And he’s not a jerk, far from it. He’s so thoughtful, so protective. Everyone I know wants nothing more for us than to be together. You know how I am... I get a lot of silly ideas, I can get pretty nasty, that you probably noticed. Adam doesn't like that one bit, I embarrass him a whole lot doing things without asking and all that. My friends noticed that too, they say I'm much more pleasant when I'm with him, he tames me, if you will. I know I give him a lot of crap for that, sometimes I feel like I either agree with him or am just wrong and he doesn't take my suggestions to heart but we talked recently, this weekend actually, he made me realize that I need improvement and-” she didn't look neither of her colleagues in the eye. Charlotte understood, she got nervous like that too and decided to give the redhead some space “here I go ranting about details again don't I? Oh, well, on with the story you say? Well, he stopped talking - I was a wreck. But gradually - when he came back from his business trip after summer - I saw him around Beanies a lot. Always on my lunch break, you know? And we got to talking and he asked what are we. I was surprised, I told him that we’re no longer together, he asked how so and one thing led to another he said it was just a break! I was... Surprised? But it was so nice to see him so happy. And Zoe told me to get him back, then. And I was so awful - I told her I don't want to live like that anymore. With him. But luckily we didn't stop hanging out, me and Adam that is. At first I was grossed out to be treated as such, afterall I said I want to be single. But he kept on pushing and that way around December we sort of got back”

“Why didn't you tell us that, congratulations!” Charlotte’s weak cheer brought a small smile on Julie’s face but it soon vanished when the other one of her two friends spoke up.

“Yeah, congratulations for dating a pushy asshole-” Ted paused frowning even more as if he said something wrong “...you could do better than that”

He turned to leave frustrated with Julie.

“Please stay” Julie fully turned from the railing and gave him a pleasing look “I... I'll get to the end soon, I want your perspective on that as well”

“Ugh fine... Just don't expect me to take this douchebag’s side”

“It’s nice to get to hear your opinion as well. As selfish as it sounds I think like that too sometimes, it's... Refreshing not to be in the wrong all the time even if I am” shaking her head she changed the subject “Oh, right! As I was saying. We had a talk then and he asked me what would I do if he started seeing someone. After all if I don't consider us a pair then he may. I told him that I'm fine with that, after all I started this mess, can't blame him if him for getting lonely. And I'm not a saint you see. Goodness gracious don't give my that look Char, I never cheated! I just... Going on and off Tinder, just chatting. It never got any further I swear, I felt so terrible. Anyways, after he told me that he got very... Touchy. And romantic. And I know I ruined the mood but after a few hours, I asked what are we. And he said he could take me back. And no matter how awful I sound I need to admit as wonderful as he is I don't think I want it. And I told him that I want to focus on work”

“But you don't?” it wasn't a secret that R.J wasn't avoiding relationships, not to the point of denying one in favour of work.

“But I don't. I know he’s amazing but I’m not happy. I‘ trying but I'm not. So I said that it’s because of work, I don't know what would he do if I told him the truth! And he didn't really get the work thing either, he’s the traditionalistic type. But! He said he shouldn't have told me about the other woman which is good I think” she bit her lip seemingly gaining a bit of life back “But what is that supposed to mean? That she’s just a concept he’s been contemplating or a human but I shouldn't know? I don't know... Anyways I asked him about what he wants. He’ll take some time to think and for now we agreed I can be sort of his... With him that is. Not that he has to call me his girlfriend. He just can get me places and I don't date or make him jealous with my make friends and stuff”

And with that Julie finished realizing just then that her hands were shaking a bit. It often happened in situations like that, stressing ones like opening up.

“Um, it does sound complicated. I might have to look for the contacts to get you set but you can make it work. I got this good therapist” Ted scoffed “he could give you some directions. Give me a minute and I’ll get back to you I'll forget about it if I’ll do that later, you know”

And with that she rushed out forgetting to get rid of the cigarette she was holding.

“You’ve been awfully quiet” gaining some of her cool back along with colour on her face, Julie leaned back cocking her head and looking at the man in front of her curiously.

“Why do you put up with this? Don't you see this guy’s a duchebag?” he asked frustrated “And don't try to tell me you love him, you said it’s not true”

“I don't. But he has to put up with me, it's a fair deal” she shrugged noticing him grow even more angry at the situation

“Well, I don't know?” he groaned “Maybe find someone who doesn't have to put up with you”

“Look, I-”

“Found it!” Charlotte came back holding her phone with a random phone number opened up on the screen

“Oh thank you a lot! Let me save it on the phone” soon she was done with the whole process “I won't hold you much longer, I'm sure you have work to do”

“Dont worry about it, a little break is always needed. Speaking of which want to go out with us after work? It's going to be Sylvia and Bill, me, Melissa and Ted. It's just for coffee, you know”

“I...” on Fridays she always hung out with Adam, even before things got messy. Looking back at Charlotte to give her phone back she paused. Maybe one day off wouldn't be so bad? “I will, it’s right after work?”

The woman nodded.

“Count me in then” opening the door she paused again, feeling much calmer and lighter after confiding in her coworkers “Oh and you’re finished, right Ted? I need to get you some papers, so stop by my desk, alright?”

“Seriously? Fuck Sylvia, I wash my hands! And besides it’s my office and my right to-”

She didn't hear what was that exactly that he had the right to do, closing the door and laughing to herself. And yes, maybe her love life was a mess but it didn't matter because it seemed that along with her new job she also found friends.

#f/o #self shipping #selfshipping #self ship #selfship #💛

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artistrashofmine · 4 years

Text

If you’re into pain, specifically Bakugou going through pain, I got a new fic for you.

Pairing: TodoBaku

Rating: Mature c/w: child abuse

AO3Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25518559/chapters/61912828

Chapter 1

At the age of four, Bakugou Katsuki got his quirk, he also got his soulmark. They came together as they did with most four-year-olds, or hell, younger if they were lucky. He was worried, mostly because his parents were. Since he didn’t get it early, they were worried he wasn’t going to get one at all. Katsuki was first at everything, or so he was told, first to walk, first to talk. Therefore, he should have been first with this too, that was their reasoning. When he turned four they took him to a quirk specialist for peace of mind, colleges at work had suggested it too. The doctor took an x-ray of his foot and happily exclaimed that it’s very likely he’ll be getting a quirk within the year, if not, then to bring him back for another appointment. Katuski had trouble believing the doctor's bizarre reasoning, how was a picture of his foot suppose to determine that? She tried to explain it to him, he still didn't understand, there were so many different kinds of people out there, some that didn't even have feet, so why would a difference in his toes determine anything? His parents seemed to understand though, and that's what mattered. He didn't want to annoy them with his own confused state, so he decided to keep his mouth shut after the less-than-helpful explanation.

The doctor appeared happy with it too, happy to go on and explain that it was a sign his soulmate was younger than him, that soulmates’ quirks liked to manifest together when possible. That’s why babies sometimes would get their quirks before they could walk, or born with them, depending on the age difference. That’s why Katsuki had to wait until the very last minute to get his quirk… unless he didn’t have one or had a shitty one that did nothing. He didn’t know which would be worse, he’d imagine his mother would be disappointed at both. Though the doctor assured them that they would know if he got a quirk or if he didn’t, to return for another appointment later in the year if nothing happened, when his fifth birthday would near. Then they could conduct further quirk tests.

He thought his parents would be happy to hear that. To hear that he had a good chance of getting a quirk later, yet they had forced smiles. They were disappointed with the wait. That Katsuki would be one of the last kids in his year to get a quirk. He heard them arguing about it when he got home. How his father worried the other kids would pick on him if it didn’t appear soon, that the small blond’s future would be meaningless. His mom ranting about how embarrassing it was, that she was forced to listen to colleges at work gush about their kid’s quirk while she had to keep her mouth shut or admit to a currently quirkless kid.

It was the first time the blond remembered getting angry at his parents. They had no right to be upset, this was Katsuki’s quirk and he wasn’t upset with having to wait a little longer. Maybe he should be, but he didn’t see why. It was proof he had a soulmate right? And if his soulmate wanted to take their time, he didn’t mind. A younger soulmate, his mom was younger then his dad, that must have meant he had a late quirk so what was wrong if Katsuki did too? He didn’t see their logic.

Besides, Izuku didn’t have one yet either. He wasn’t the only one. A few others in his pre-school hadn’t, while others had just got them. Most of their quirks sucked too. Though, as months went by, as his parents' frowns deepened, as everyone got their marks and quirks, Katusuki didn’t. Soon it was December, the beginning of December, they were playing tag when it happened, Izuku stopped and started crying, falling back onto his butt.

Izuku was a crybaby so it wasn’t surprising, but what reason did he have to cry now? As far as Katsuki knew, he wasn’t hurt. He didn’t even trip and fall, he just decided to drop. The other kids had started questioning him, some mocked him when he only cried harder. Then Katsuki saw it, the reason he was crying, the greenish-pink design that bloomed around his right wrist that was covered in mud. He couldn’t make out the exact design, some stupid flower was his guess. Flowers weren’t uncommon for soulmarks, and Izuku was getting his soulmark.

In early December flowers bloomed along the inside of the crying boy’s wrist as Katsuki took it upon himself to solemnly drag the freckled kid home to kind, green eyes that filled with matching tears as she took in the mark, happy tears as she told Izuku that it was his soulmark, with such love that it took Katsuki’s breath away, something he shouldn’t be there to experience. So he left without a word.

Would his parents act like that when his mark and quirk appear? He had a hard time visualizing that expression on his mom’s face. Maybe his dad would cry, he could see the man with tears of relief, that finally, the small blond was like every other child. Every other child who now had their quirk and mark, either then him, Izuku was the last. Someone the blond could sympathize with, even if he was a crybaby. Even if the blond didn't care all that much for him as a person, it was nice to have someone who could understand. Someone to look at and remind yourself that it was okay because they were in the same situation. But now Izuku had his mark and his quirk.

He forgot to ask Izuku about his quirk. He could do that tomorrow. He wondered if it was like his moms, that would be a cool enough quirk. Katsuki hoped he wasn't like his mom's, hers was lame, he'd rather have his fathers.

Only, as it turns out, Izuku's quirk didn’t appear. The greenet said his mom called the doctor, who said to hang tight it may take a couple of weeks. Still, he said they had an appointment in two months. And two weeks later, when it still didn’t show, the other kids already started making fun of him, Izuku was half a man, a freak with a mark but no quirk. Some went as far as to say the mark was fake.

His mom had heard from Aunty Inko, listened to her concerns, they were friends after all, just like Izuku and him. She didn’t make fun of it, only frowned, though his dad quietly told him to stay away from Izuku, just until he got his quirk. Katsuki wondered why, it wasn’t like quirklessness was contagious, and Izuku would get his quirk soon anyway, just like Katsuki would. Afterall, Katsuki’s fifth birthday was in a few months, he had to get his quirk and mark soon, so he could become a hero like All Might, even better then All Might. And so he could make his parents happy and proud of him.

Even if his dad wouldn’t let him go to Izuku’s anymore, he still tried to play tag, play heroes with him at daycare, but the other kids didn’t want to. And they said if Katuski played with Izuku then they wouldn’t be friends anymore. Maybe his dad was right then, that he should stay away from the greenet, just for now. Just until he got his quirk. After all, you needed to be popular to be the number one hero. And his mom always told him to look good, to mind your surroundings, that one mistake could make you an outlier for the rest of your life. Katsuki didn’t want that.

He stayed away from Izuku, just for a few months he told himself.

At the end of January, he got his quirk, his quirk and his soulmark. It came during pre-school. He had been really sweaty recently, which was strange because it was winter and cold, but his hands were always sweaty, and warm, he had to go to the washroom a lot to rinse them under cool water, it makes the adults concerned enough to pull him over and ask why he went to the washroom so often.

Which made Katsuki bashful, so he kept his mouth shut. Then one day, small sparks danced in his palm. He thought someone threw a match at him, that he caught it, that it was going to set fire to him. But they were explosions, and they hardly hurt, they were bright and loud and drew the attention of the whole room. Everyone woahed at him as they grew, and Katsuki grinned.

He had gotten his quirk, a dangerous, flashy quirk. It had made everyone praise him. Perfect for being a hero, worth the wait. It didn’t matter how dangerous it was, that a four-year-old could kill you at any given moment, that didn’t matter here. His parents always told him to be careful. Since they lived near the sketchy area, flashy quirks weren’t common but danger was. Everyone was used to the thrill of a little danger, that paired with the beautiful orange, yellow and red hues that emitted from the palm of his overly sweaty hands made everyone so much more in awe. The adults praised him for it, excitedly calling his parents to tell them of the development, to come to get Katsuki. To come see.

His parents didn’t praise him, they had the same stressed smiles as when they went to visit the doctor all those months ago. He wondered why this time, his quirk appeared, and he could feel the fresh mark seared across his abdomen, under his navel, he wondered what it was. He wanted to get home soon to check. His parents didn’t care. His mom had asked why his timing was so bad, had said that they were busy today. His father explained that they didn’t have time to deal with a destructive quirk, that he was going to take classes to learn to control it. His mom told him no using it inside, and certainly no destroying anything with it, better if he didn’t use it at all. He didn’t expect to get lectured about his new power, it made him frown.

His parents shouldn’t be lecturing about it as if he broke a plate, they should be happy like when Aunty saw Izuku’s soulmark. Katsuki didn’t do anything wrong, why were they acting like this? What made that quirkless loser so special? Maybe… they hadn’t seen the quirk yet, maybe if he showed them… the blond set off pops, they were difficult to control and came out in a bright burst. It made his father swerve the vehicle. His mother turned in her seat and started yelling, at the top of her lungs, it made the small blond sink back into the leather, eyes widened and heart-pumping loudly. She was angry, she yelled about how they could have crashed and died, that Katuski could’ve killed them. She asked if he wanted them dead that much, if he wanted to be a homeless bum living among the trash, starving to death. She yelled until they were home, she yelled as they went into the house, Katsuki didn’t dare speak up against her.

He kicked off his shoes quietly with tearful eyes, unzipping the coat to hang up, and then he felt the hand to his cheek, a crack echoing through the house. And his mother spoke through clenched teeth and fury, “clean up your damned shoes.”

He didn’t waste a second, moving to place them properly on the rack with a tucked head. His dad explained that they were stressed out from work and having to end early to pick him up, that he should know better to clean up after himself now, or else what would his soulmate think? It was the first time his soulmate was brought up, they didn’t bother asking about the mark, they didn’t want to see it. They were stressed out. They were just making sure he would be good for his soulmate. Still, the small child couldn’t prevent the tears and from cascading down his face, over the warn, raw, handprint across his cheek, accompanied with poorly silenced sobs and hiccups.

It was the first piece of pain his soulmate would feel from him. Only an hour or so after they retrieved the mark. Katsuki promised that he’d try his best not to let it happen again, if he let it happen, the other would feel it and that would make Katsuki a bad soulmate.

Months later, Izuku still didn’t get his quirk. A quirkless loser everyone called him, and Katsuki had turned five, he was learning to read, and he could read Izuku’s name. It said Deku and Deku meant useless. Izuku couldn’t read yet, so he made sure to inform the greenet of his new name. Katsuki was proud to say that it was more creative than ‘quirkless loser’. And the rest of the students latched onto it, they’d latch onto anything the blond said, because the blond was awesome and everyone looked up to him, followed him.

Everyone except Izuku. Izuku sought him out as if they were still friends. And Katsuki hadn’t told him otherwise, because he wanted to be friends again, but they couldn’t. Because Izuku was still quirkless and Katsuki had a quirk now. He needed to be popular so he could be a hero, and all the kids would pick on him too if he were friends with Izuku. The older kids already started to, just because the blond had a strong quirk and they wanted to fight. It left him bruised and dirty, but the kids who watched praised him for his abilities. He felt bad for hurting his soulmate like this. Katsuki could keep the tears at bay until he was alone.

Though Izuku noticed, he was always concerned, as if the blond wasn’t strong enough to handle it. Katsuki pushed him away every time, it was for the best. He didn’t want to risk hurting his soulmate anymore then he already has. Therefore, he needed to be the best and he needed everyone to know so. He’d push people away, push them to the ground, push Deku to the ground to show everyone. Show that he was the strongest.

His parents didn’t think so, when they saw the grin on his face, the dirt and bruises. They asked if he got in a fight, of course, he said so, he said he won because he did. It didn’t feel like it, not when his mom’s hand came down against his cheek for the second time, the bruise that was already on his jaw, from the fight, screaming out its complaint in the form of a flinch worthy pain. The tears managed to return in seconds as his mother’s yelling echoed through the room. Katsuki hadn’t won.

It worsened throughout elementary school. He got into more fights, but those got easier, beating them up got easier, he welcomed the soreness in his fists. But the more fights he got into, the more powerful he got, the more his parents seemed to hate him, the more violent they got. And that wasn’t it. His soulmate. He could feel how tired the other got, the strain in their own muscles, the nausea in their stomach. Was it payback for how Katsuki treated them? Were they going through something similar? The blond wouldn’t be able to tell if the other got bruises, he had a hard enough time keeping track of his own bruises, at least they were visible.

Then one night he felt it, the worst pain he has yet to experience, he thought he was going to die. He wasn’t silently crying as he collapsed on the floor, the left side of his face cradled in his explosive palms. He was yelling, screaming from someone, anyone to help. For once he needed, wanted, his parents to help him. It hurt, hurt so much. He needed their help, their comfort.

His father looked down at him, his mother yelled a frantic “what did you do Katsuki?!”. He clenched his teeth, sobbing through them until it subsided, and looked up to see the worry on his parent’s faces, proof that they cared. But it didn’t last, Katsuki had no injuries, they came to the same conclusion that it must have been his soulmate and his mom looked at him with pity, his dad sighed. With that, they parted from him, back to their previous activities.

For the following weeks, he clung onto the throbbing injury on the left side of his face, the only proof that his soulmate was alive. He clung to it and hoped maybe the heat of his palms, his dangerous palms, would provide some sort of comfort against the chill that threatened to freeze his heart.

Middle school was shit. He was old enough to realize how fucking shitty the neighbourhood was, how underfunded the school was. How no one cared enough to maintain it, how no teachers cared to teach the students. There were cracks in the brick, old graffiti half-heartedly painted over. Weeds grew through old cement, paint chipped off the walls. The washrooms, which he didn’t dare to fucking use, always smelled of cigarettes and weed. You could find a collection of old stale gum under every single shitty, marked up desk, or hell, inside them if you were lucky. He bet that toxic shit was the only reason the school didn’t have rats. You could find old sandwiches from last fucking year in the corner of some poor losers locker, and you didn’t eat from the cafeteria unless you want food poisoning.

So physically, his middle school was shit. Just like the rest of the shitty neighbourhood and all the shitty people in it. You weren’t walking down the street at night unless you were looking for drugs or on them, that’s the kind of shitty place they were located. Katsuki was, as many people would say, lucky enough to live in the suburbs but fuck, the place was hell. His neighbour hated him, he’s pretty sure the whole area hated him, just cause he didn’t look like a fucking Ivey-league little prince and spoke his mind. Everyone hid behind that shitty smile and acted all friendly and reserved but would turn their backs and gossip about you for the rest of the night. You had to appear like the perfect family on the outside, with the perfect little house, it was some stupid unspoken competition. Perfect job, perfect house, perfect marriage, perfect family. That’s how it appeared, but it was total shit, and everybody knew it.

And Katsuki wasn’t about to turn into one of those kinds of fuckers like his parents would want, sure, he paid the price for it, but hell, at least he got to be himself. And like hell he’d show up all prim and proper in a school like his, no fucking way, he’d be target number one, worse then Deku. He’d be back to square one, it took years to climb to the top. If his parents didn’t want that they shouldn’t have sent him to the cheapest school they could fucking find, like what the hell? He’d have better luck in whatever hellish boarding school most parents in this fucking area sent their children to.

It pissed him off, but whatever, his parents always pissed him off. That was normal. They didn’t have the best relationship, obviously. But his parents were only making him tougher, he could deal. That’s what they were there for, to make him stronger. And it worked, he knew how to protect himself. How to hurt people so they couldn’t, wouldn’t, hurt him. He knew the limits he could go without getting in trouble while remaining in good grace with his followers. He knew just who to pick on. Most of the time that being Deku, Deku could take it. And it was his own damn fault for getting in Katsuki’s way.

The blond had a good system; it kept him on top, at least with his peers. There was always the price to pay at home. It traded the safety of home for good school life. He saw the bruises on Deku’s skin and compared to the ones on his own, it was worth it. Even if the bruises came from his parents, even if he ignored half of them, and he couldn’t see the ones on his back, he didn’t count the cuts from flying glass on partially back nights, it didn’t happen that often. He’d always sent out a silent apology to his soulmate.

He expected tonight to be one of those nights by the look on the hag’s face, the way his father left the room. She looked at him, his red eyes mirrored her hardened ones, “the principal called,”

That was how it always started, “you destroyed another desk. The kid who used the desk was sent to the nurse for burns. They didn’t admit it was you.”

No, they wouldn’t, no one would dare. They’d say it was an accident at most. No one would cross the blond.

“You fuking brat,” no one but his parents,” you fucking brat, you want to be a villain that bad, HAH?”

He flinched at that, gritting his teeth as her arms flailed around. He didn’t want to be a villain, he wasn’t trying to become a villain, she just didn’t understand. That was the way things worked there, that was how he was going to become number one. It was the only way. Fear drove people, she taught him that. It was the perfect way to keep them under you, to ensure your spot as number one.

“Your fucking quirk and shitty ass personality are going to get someone killed,” she was one to talk, “fuck, you’re better off killing yourself with it before you cause us any more trouble!”

Killing himself . He blinked. Her tongue was like a viper, ready to strike, to kill with her words. Still, it was the first time she said something like that. And that’s how she left, stomping down the hallway, leaving him alone in the kitchen. His thoughts drowned out the quiet room.

At least she didn’t hit him... his soulmate couldn’t feel words.

But Katsuki could, and Katsuki could learn from words, could use them.

That was the kind of thing he learned from his parents, how to use words to hurt others. It works. He explodes and throws Deku’s notebook out of the classroom window for good measure. It lands in the pond. Karma must have decided he went too far, he gets attacked by slime of all things. A shitty villain for a shitty neighbourhood. Still, he couldn’t do much to fight it, to protect his body from the onslaught of gross gunk that filled his lungs, swarmed down his throat, and in his nose, plugged it up real well so he couldn’t breathe. How it covered his ears, his body. Made sure to restrain him tightly, squeezing his center, holding his legs, his arms, his hands. Controlling them, trying to control them as Katsuki struggled to take the power back.

As shitty heroes and shitty civilians watched from the sidelines. No one did anything as he died, as he suffocated. It tasted gross like you could imagine this town tasting, vile and disgusting. Like the gum from the school desks or the year-old sandwich in the back of some uncaring extra’s locker. He was going to die like this, die a victim like this.

And his soulmate… god, his soulmate. He had to put his soulmate through this - his dad would remind him of that later. They’d hate him for this, hate him for sure. Katsuki would die never knowing his soulmate, only knowing how much they would hate him. Hate him for putting them through this, for causing so much pain, for dying on them.

And Deku, quirkless Deku who he told to die earlier, tried to save him. Was the only shitty person in the shitty crowd who came running over. Always Deku who came running after the blond. Not a hero, not someone with a quirk, not an adult, not his followers, just Deku. The one Katsuki relentlessly bullies was the only one who came to his aid. The only one either than his soulmate who recognized Katsuki’s pain. The only one who recognized his internal struggles.

No one else. Not when All Might pulled him from the sludge. He was praised, his flashy quirk praised by the shitty heroes even though he destroyed half the block. Technically it was the shitty sludge villain, but Katsuki did play a part. At least he was doing something, unlike those d-list heroes who praised him, who stood by and watched the whole thing happen. It was all the same, everyone was the same. His parents when he got home. They were the same, they were upset, they didn’t praise him as the others would. He only causes them trouble, that’s all he did.

No one asked if Katsuki was okay.

He couldn’t eat anything for supper, his throat was still raw. He brushed his teeth for an hour, he couldn’t get the taste out. The gross, ghost of a stench that had him dry heaving every so often if he thought too hard on it. He couldn’t sleep, still, he went to bed… and simply laid there.

Only Deku recognized he wasn’t okay. Only him.

But his body wasn’t in pain, so it was fine.

His soulmate didn’t know how fucked his mind was.

#my hero academia #bnha #bakugou katsuki #todobaku #soulmate au #midoriya izuku #bakugou mitsuki #bakugou masaru #bad parenting #mha #boku no hero academia #fanfic

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leejihoonownsmyheart · 4 years

Text

Coffee Shops and Mall Santas

Part Nine of the 13 Days of Seventeen Series

Summary:

Your best friend owns a coffee shop that you’ve gone to every day since the day it opened. So how did you not know that he had a regular there who was cute and mysterious, and literally your exact type? And what were you going to do about Vernon’s annual Coffee Shop Christmas Palooza when your Santa quit last minute?

3k+ words

Happy late birthday @/onlygotafewdollas ily

When you had been growing up, your dream had been simple.

To spend every Christmas spreading joy in any way you possibly could.

Cheesy? Maybe. Overdone? Absolutely.

But either way, it was your dream. It was a simple dream for a simple girl with a simple life.

Every year, you came up with a new fantastic way to make everyone’s Christmas better.

Whether it was baking 600 hundred cookies in two days, or coordinating a food and clothes drive, each year your ideas got more extravagant, and each year you ended up seeing more and more smiles.

It was the year that you decided to organize an entire potluck and make half the food for it for your entire community that you ended up pulling an all-nighter. It was during the middle of that mess that you were so exhausted that you had to stumble into the first coffee shop that opened.

A shop that happened to be on its grand opening.

A coffee shop that ended up being Hansol’s.

Chwe not Chew, was a tidy joint that opened early and closed late. It had everything that you could hope a coffee shop would have. It had all the food you could crave to accent your beverage, and any sort of mixture of coffee that a un-caffeinated kid could hope for.

It was popular, not only because the service was incredible, but also because the entire town had a crush on the owner.

Hansol was cute, and sweet, and he remembered everyone’s names. He always worked with a smile and he was extremely active in the community. You recognized him from a few of your charity drives, and you knew that he volunteered at the soup kitchen every day that he wasn’t working.

And he was quick to make friends with you.

“You know y/n,” he had stated one day setting your coffee in front of you on the counter. “Somedays I think you are half of my revenue and all I know about you is your name, your order, and what everyone else says about you.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“And what does everybody else say about me Hansol?”

He shrugged.

“That you're nice, you smell good, and you know just the way to make everybody smile.”

You hummed.

“Well, I can’t say that isn’t true,” you stated. You picked up your drink from the counter, warming your hands on its toasty exterior. “And you know, I could almost say the same thing for you. All I know is your name and what people say about you.”

“And what do people say about me?” He asked. You looked to the side, your eyes roaming his small coffee shop thoughtfully.

“That you need a spectacular Christmas event that will brings hundreds more people in.”

Hansol laughed, resting his head on his hand as he peered at you from across the counter.

“The people are always right. What do you have in mind?”

That year- the very first Christmas Palooza that you planned with him, you two spent so much time together that you slept together over the counters of his restaurant wore each other’s clothes, and practically lived attached at the hip.

You started working shifts at his coffee shop, and he started helping you plan out your events, and days knowing each other turned to weeks, to months, to years until no one in town could talk about you or him without mentioning the other.

You two were inseparable, the best of friends and everyone knew it.

So, when you walked in one day, intent on talking to Hansol about what you guys were going to do this year, you weren’t really expecting anything to be different than it always was. You walked into the coffee shop, spotted Hansol sitting on the counter with a book in his hands and started talking immediately.

“Alright, this year, it’s a Winter Wonderland. I’m talking cookie decorating for the kids, live performances from elves in the streets, we have a train to take people from one location to the next, we make it snow, the festival lasts until midnight and-”

You stopped dead cold in the middle of your rant, your words dying on your tongue when you heard a chuckle.

An unfamiliar chuckle.

You glanced to the side and sitting at one of the far tables, his eyes peering at you from over the rim of a laptop was none other then possibly the most attractive man you had ever seen in your life. Your heart thudded in your chest the moment the two of you made eye contact, the way that he smiled at you making you forget your plan entirely.

You had to scramble to reach your train of thought, desperate for some way to make the sudden hesitation seem normal.

“Pause for dramatic effect,” you mumbled as soon as you had dragged your eyes away from the man sitting to the side. “We have a Santa to top off the event!”

Hansol glanced up at you from the pages of his book, a smirk on his lips.

“Pause for dramatic effect? You’ve been spending too much time with Seokmin,” he said with a laugh. You knew that he knew that you had used those words as a cover-up, and he knew that you hadn’t spoken to Seokmin in weeks. It made you roll your eyes.

“You’re such an ass, I’m serious,” you insisted. “It’s going to be the best Christmas Palooza we’ve ever thrown! I can hear the children laughing now.”

That just made Hansol close his book, setting it down on the counter.

“Seriously, y/n. I don’t think Jihoon is going to like you calling him an elf.”

“Who said that Jihoon was going to be an elf?” You asked with a nervous laugh. You hopped up onto the counter with Hansol, expertly avoiding his gaze. Of course, then his eyes fell on you, and you smiled sheepishly.

“Okay, but only because he writes music. He’ll do it if Mellie does it, and we know Mellie loves to sing,” you stated. “So, we’re going to have him and Mellie, and Mellie will convince her whole entire group of friends. That has our elves down. Obviously, you’re in charge of cookies. I’m thinking we make a thousand sugar cookies or so.”

You draped your legs across Hansol’s and pulled out your notebook, showing him what you had outlined.

“The only thing that I don’t have figured out is who is going to be our Santa.”

Hansol frowned.

“Well, why not Peter, doesn’t he do Santa for the mall?” He asked you. You sighed.

“He’s booked every day in December including all the day’s after Christmas,” you stated. “And his brother’s out of town, and then I tried calling two other people and none of them can do it with such short notice.”

You sighed.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do, I mean the festival is next week-”

“Yeah, why are you only giving me a weeks’ notice on one thousand sugar cookies?”

“And if we don’t find a Santa by the time of the event, I don’t even know what we are going to do.”

Hansol opened his mouth to add something else to the conversation, but he was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. You both simultaneously looked at the person who had interrupted you two to find that the boy from earlier was looking at you both, his cheeks dusted pink.

“Okay… That was a little creepy,” he mumbled. You and Hansol laughed softly, and Hansol shrugged.

“We get that a lot. Is there anything I can help you with?”

His eyes were strangely glued to yours, even though Hansol was the one addressing him, and you knew that was something that Hansol didn’t just not notice. Despite how dim he could be on most days, he wasn’t dumb when it came to stuff like this.

The one thing you could confidently say was wrong about what people said about you and Hansol was that you two weren’t dating.

Everyone said it, everyone thought it, and everyone said you two should but the facts were you didn’t like one another like that.

One super awkward date and a kiss that ended in a black eye and broken nose, proved that as much as you two needed it proved.

And considering the fact that he knew everything about you. He knew what kind of guy you found attractive and he knew that eye contact drove you up the wall.

It probably also helped that his shoulder was pressed against your chest so he probably could feel your heart beating in your chest.

“It’s more like what I can do for you guys.”

He smiled, his perfect pearly whites peeking out from between his thin lips as he did so.

“Ho, ho, ho!”

He bounced his chest dramatically, placing his hands on his stomach as if he had a large belly on him. It made him look like an idiot, and that made you laugh into the back of your hand.

“You want to be our Santa?” You asked him. He beamed at you.

“Well… Yeah! I mean look at my loveable face! The kids will love me.”

That was the last thing you wanted to see. This attractive stranger with children? Your uterus would probably combust… You’d have to warn all of the single women at the event beforehand to avoid any genuine casualties…

“Do you have any experience as a Santa? I mean, let’s be honest… You hardly match the bill.”

The man scrunched his nose.

“Maybe Santa went on a diet because he was tired of all the cute coffee shop girls telling him that he had too many cookies,” he replied. “Besides do you have any other options?”

You knew this was a bad decision. Possibly even worse than your current in-progress plan to make it snow this Christmas during your event despite the fact the forecast didn’t call for anything of the sort. But the facts were, this weirdo was right. You didn’t have any other options.

And who didn’t like a hot Santa Claus asking children what they wanted for Christmas?

“Alright, alright,” you sighed with a wave of your hand. You reached across Hansol and grabbed a pencil from his counter. “What’s your name Santa?”

He started to mumble off a series of numbers, which made you roll your eyes. He laughed once he got to the end.

“Oh, my bad, did I accidentally give you my phone number?”

He picked the pencil out of your hand and grabbed your notebook.

“The name is Kim Mingyu, I’m in town until February, and I know that you’re too in sync with Leonardo over here to be dating him. So, I’d also like you to know I’m single, and I have a single condition to me being your events Santa Claus.”

You glared at this man… Mingyu, wondering where he could possibly be going with this… Condition.

“How do you think you look in red?”

One thousand cookies later, a handful of convincing arguments with Jihoon, and days and days spent advertising the event everywhere within a two hundred mile radius and you were still convinced that this was the worst decision you had ever made in your life.

Sure, your vision wasn’t complete without a Santa Claus, but was your stupid vision worth this?

Mingyu had taken it upon himself to be your personal assistant as you set up the whole event. He followed you to all the caterers and bought you coffee as you worked out all the details of the events that you were laying out.

Figuring out the rehearsal schedule for Jihoon’s elves was probably the hardest part. Why was it so difficult to schedule a simple event like this?

“What if they practiced together every day at 7pm until the performances?” He asked you softly, his fingers running through his hair. You were momentarily distracted by the action... The way his fingers ran through his raven strands... He looked so good in a button-up and he felt so warm pressed up against you.

You glanced back at him over your shoulder.

“I don’t know if that will be okay with Jihoon. He has this other project he is trying to complete before New Year’s Eve,” you stated softly. Mingyu’s grip on you shifted, and he wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. You let yourself laugh at the clingy and intimate action.

“What are you doing Mingyu?” You asked him softly. He didn’t respond at first, you glanced at him, surprised that he was staring at you instead of at the paper before you. He smiled once you made eye contact, his eyes briefly flickering down to your lips.

“Just wondering if Mrs. Claus doesn’t mind me kissing her.”

Your heart skipped a beat but before you could tell him off, he laughed.

“On the cheek sport,” he corrected. “We will be playing a married couple as per my terms after all.”

You rolled your eyes, but your cheeks were dusted in embarrassment either way.

“I think Mrs. Claus and Mr. Claus should get a divorce,” you mumbled softly. That only made Mingyu smile and rest his head against yours.

“And I think Mrs. Claus should sleep, because Mr. Claus is tired,” he mumbled. “Unless you don’t mind me sleeping on your shoulder that is.”

Mingyu began to mimic the sound of snoring on your shoulder and it made you laugh, patting his head gently with your hand.

“Oh sweetheart, if you want to be my man, you’re going to need to stay awake a little longer than this.”

Mingyu’s eyes shot open and he tightened his grip around your body with a smile.

“And suddenly I’m wide awake.”

You sighed and rolled your eyes to the side, pushing Mingyu’s arms off you politely. He whined at the loss of your body tangled in his. You sighed.

“Mingyu, you really are ridiculous,” you mumbled.

“You are ridiculous too!” Mingyu protested, swinging his legs over the counter of the coffee shop as you walked across the room away from him. “Come on, we both know that you like me! Even Hansol knows that we are into each other! Why do you think he let us stay in this room alone together?”

You ignored his words, so he jumped up, grabbing you by your hand and spinning you around the room.

“Why play games?” He asked you. “Just say you’ll be my girlfriend.”

You were going to open your mouth and say something more but then Mingyu spun you into his chest.

“Just imagine how cute the Clauses will be dancing around the town.”

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.”

Your jaw dropped at the words as they left Mingyu’s mouth and for a second you were caught for a loop, wondering how on Earth Mingyu could manage to be so perfect at literally everything. Good with kids? Good-humored? Knew your own boundaries better then you knew your own? And he could sing?

“Jack Frost nipping at your nose.”

He bopped your nose gently with his index finger and hopped up onto the table behind him, leaning forward to smile at you goofily.

“Yuletide carols being sung by a choir and folks dressed up like Eskimos.”

He got back up to his feet, and grabbed your hand again, dragging you quickly around Hansol’s coffee shop.

“Everybody knows a turkey and mistletoe, help to make the season bright, but everyone in this town already knows, that your events are another way to go.”

As he sang his words began to come out faster as if he were making up a rendition of the classic Christmas song right there on the spot, and suddenly you really did feel like you were in one of those Christmas movies that you loved to watch so much.

Actually, maybe you had-

“They know that your smile opens doors, your generosity is something that literally everyone adores. To say that all the guys in town were jealous of me would be a lie, cause the girls would be too if I had you by my side.” Mingyu lifted you into the air by your hips, placing you on a table as he spun away from you, jumping onto a table and doing a little jig.

“So, I’m offering this simple phrase, to you and only you. Although it’s been said many times many ways!”

He jumped down from the table and offered you his hand, raising an eyebrow.

“Merry Christmas, won’t you let me love you?”

You wanted to roll your eyes at the sappy display of affection, and deep down you knew that he had choreographed this entire thing at some point with Soonyoung and Jihoon. But… The Christmas Spirit was never lost to you, and to think that you had found someone who was just as dumb and excitable as you were…. Well, it warmed your heart.

“That was possibly the stupidest thing I have ever watched anyone do in my entire life,” you mumbled indignantly. Mingyu still held his pose, that smile never wavering, that hand so close to yours that you itched to reach out and grab it.

“Yeah… But you secretly loved it didn’t you?”

You kept your face solemn for a moment, but the look wouldn’t last long. You broke out into a bright smile and took Mingyu by the hand, letting him pull you into his arms with a short giggle.

“Does this mean-”

“You’ve got yourself one Christmas girlfriend,” you agreed with a nod. Mingyu grinned and went in to kiss you, but you were fast to stop him by slapping his chest. “Hey, you better not ruin this holiday for me by breaking my heart.”

Mingyu actually looked offended by your words.

“And lose the best girl I have ever met in my life?”

Your fingers relaxed against him, and Mingyu correctly took that as permission to lean forward and let his lips brush yours. Not quite a kiss, but just the display of affection that you wanted in that moment.

“I wouldn’t dare.”

#I tried really hard to get this out of time my dudes #but ya girl picked up 51 HOURS AT WORK THIS WEEK #So i failed ;(#But i'm still determined to have this series complete by Christmas!#Even though I'm working 40 hours next week #Seventeen #Seventeen Series #13 Days of Seventeen #Mingyu #mingyu fanfic #Mingyu Fanfiction #Seventeen Fanfiction #Seventeen Fanfic

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justtrash202 · 4 years

Text

Amasai; Be Mine

December 31

Come on, come on. It's just one stupid question.

That was all Rantaro could think of at the moment, as he found himself pacing back and forth in the middle of his semi-clean room. He felt his nerves gain more and more in control with almost every step he took. His body was physically, and visibly, shaking. It got to the point where he had to put down his cup of tea. He was carrying it since he kept constantly spilling it. His breath shortened every time he tried to calm himself down with long and slow breathing. He was a nervous wreck; trying to control his unsettled nerves and prepare for the biggest leap he was about to take. A leap that was going to make or break his secretive relationship of twelve long years with a certain young, and beautiful, detective.

"For the love of-"

Rantaro mumbled angrily under his breath, stopping a few paces from his bed. His light green eyes carefully glanced down at a navy-blue ring box that he was holding. This... this was the object that was causing him to be so distressed over something he believed was rather easy, or that is at least what everyone else makes it seem like. Though, to his own surprise, it was harder than he had hoped for. A rough sigh escaped his lips, he did this to keep himself calm so that he can think rationally about this.

Okay, so you're proposing to someone you been dating for what, twelve years? How hard can it be to ask him one simple question?

Saihara-kun… we have been dating for twelve years and I think we are ready to move forward.

No, that way too formal.

Hey, Shuichi… you know how I told you that I had a lot of time to think while we were traveling the world? Well… uh... lately, I have been thinking a lot about us and our relationship, and-

No, too pathetic.

Shuichi, my love,… you know how we have been dating for twelve years now? Well, I have been thinking about it. I think it's about time we maybe take this relationship to the next leve-

"Hey, Amami-kun! Uh, are you okay? Did something bad happen? You haven't been out of your room in a while, it's not like you to do that."

Shuichi said suddenly. It brought the young adventurer back to reality.

'Shit he's here! He wasn't supposed to be here, fuck, I forgot to get out of the room at least a good handful of times! Fuck, fuck, fuck, okay. Rantaro, calm down, just act natural.'

Rantaro thought, as he quickly tucked the ring box into his mattress. Trying to think of what to do, Rantaro hopped on the bed and grabbed a magazine that he oddly placed on his bed. In one swift motion, Rantaro found himself laying down on his bed with his head placed in his palm, acting like he was interested in the article he was reading.

With no answer coming from Rantaro, Shuichi anxiously bit his lower lip as he slowly began to open the door.

"Amami-kun?"

Shuichi tried again, popping his head out from behind the door, before slowly coming into the room, and closing the door behind him. His hazel eyes searched around the room but slowly came to a halt as he spotted Rantaro laying down on his bed. That caused the dark-haired man to smile, as he quickly made his way over to the adventurer.

"Hey Amami-kun."

He said, as he carefully sat down beside the adventure. He started leaning more towards Rantaro to read over his shoulder, but sadly, it didn't work as Rantaro noticed his presence. Rantaro was still trying his best to act like he wasn't hiding something. Rantaro casually glanced over his shoulder, closing the magazine as he does so.

"Oh, hello Saihara-kun. What can I do for you?"

Rantaro said as he gave his usual charming smile, glaring at Shuichi as he waits for an answer. Shuichi quickly glanced down at his hands, which were placed gently on his lap. Trying to muster up the courage, Shuichi closed his eyes as he began to speak,

"Well.. I noticed that you haven't left your room in a while. So, I thought I should check up on you. Um, what are you doing here anyway?"

Shuichi shyly admitted, noticing how creepy it may have sounded to the man next to him. Shuichi was mentally cursing at himself for even asking the "creepy" question.

Rantaro shook his head at this, he was happy to know that Shuichi was growing worried about him. Shuichi didn’t exactly have anything to worry about, though.

"Well.. if you must know, my Saihara kun, I was planning for our date tonight"

Rantaro said charmingly. He earned a shy and timid smile from Shuichi. Shuichi opened his eyes once he heard the news as a blush appeared on his cheeks.

"Aww, Amami-kun. W-what did you have in mind?"

Shuichi giggles at this, feeling his heart race from excitement. It has been a while since the two have had a chance to go on a date, mostly since they kept their relationship hidden from the others. Although, they made a promise to each other that every Friday was their date night. It's the one night where they get to sneak off undetected and go off to be a real couple, though he had questioned the risk and many more "what if's." So, Shuichi was more than happy to see hear that his beloved boyfriend was planning something for tonight, but little did he know it was something that was going to change his life forever.

"Can't say, it's a secret! You should get ready by eight."

Rantaro smirked, quickly leaning in for a quick peck.

*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*

Shuichi was rather surprised when Rantaro pulled them up to a romantic candlelight dinner, especially at such a nice and beautiful place with a view. He never really expected Ranatro to ever do such a grand gesture on their date like this, but then again, he never expected Rantaro to do anything romantic. Rantaro wasn’t the type of guy to do big romantic gestures without any type of reason, which left Shuichi to ponder over the idea of what exactly was his lover was planning on doing.

Shuichi glared at Ranatro across the table, observing his every move as his mind tried to find out what his lover was plotting. On the other hand, Rantaro was trying to muster up some courage. He needed to do what he was about to do, secretly plotting everything since he had been in the car. Rantaro is even planning the smallest details. The couple sat in awkward silence, trying to find each other out.

"Saihara-kun... my love, I might have something to confess.."

Rantaro was shaking as he said this, as he wasn't quite ready, but knew he had to go through with it now. Shuichi swiftly sat up from his slouching sitting and glared at Rantaro. Shuichi gave a soft, gentle, smile for assurance. Which to his own surprise, his smile was helping Rantaro a little bit. Rantaro tried to come up with why and how he came to think of this, but his anxiousness was constantly clouding his mind.

He was having no luck. So, he decided to let his mind take over. Rantaro looked away before he let out a small sigh, there was no point in hiding it any longer. It seems to be so clear from the person he was trying to hide it from. Rantaro carefully planned everything he was about to say, with the exception that Shuichi might as well interrupt him a few times. Rantaro slowly looked back at Shuichi,

'I can't believe I'm actually going through with this.'

He thought before he began to speak.

"Saihara-kun, my darling. You see that this isn't one of our normal Friday date nights, I mean, we don't usually have dinner a at place where you can easily just fall over and die."

"Amami-"

”Which was partly my fault. Geez, that never actually crossed my mind as I was planning this. Well, this is a different occasion, so that would explain it. I'm usually more organized than this.”

"Amami-kun."

"I guess we are really trying out the "whole life on the edge", huh? Living life to the fullest and all that, you know what? I always found it odd how people whoever actually did anything say that as if they have done it, it's like what lies your trying to put on my-"

"Amami-kun!"

Shuichi yelled, snapping Rantaro out of his once again ranting moments It immediately made Ranataro stop mid-sentence and focus back on Shuichi. Who was at the current moment, leaned back against his chair, with his arms crossed and his ring-finger slowly tapping his left arm. Rantaro looked at Shuichi for a brief minute, before he let out a small awkward cough. He tried to regain his well-plotted out conversation and the courage he just lost a few minutes ago back when he started off this whole conversation.

"Right.. sorry."

Rantaro coughed, covering his mouth with his fist. He was ashamed that he went on yet another rant, especially when he already had something plotted out. Rantaro had to rethink his own idea, words seeming to be the problem. Words never go out of his mouth, as he wanted them to go. So, he had to think of a new route. If words are the problem, then he could just do that motion and hope that doesn't startle his lover.

With that Rantaro quickly got up from his seat, and slowly walked towards his lover. Rantaro tried to calm down his nerves as he made his way towards him.

"Amami-kun? W-what are you doing?"

Shuichi asked curiously, still not getting what was about to happen to him. Shuichi didn't know that his life was going to change in a way that he could never imagine it would. Shuichi then looked up from where he sat to look at Rantaro, giving a small timid smile, hoping that would help him calm down a bit.

"Saihara-kun, over the time that we were dating, I had a lot of time to think of what I wanted in my life and how I was going to go about it... and well, I have decided after dating you for all these wonderful twelve years.. I think I'm ready to move on..with you."

Rantaro admitted to his Saihara-kun, not trying to question everything he had just said. Rantaro surprised the young detective that was right in front of him. Shuichi had looked at him in confusion, not really understanding, but soon got the idea once he saw Rantaro kneel before him. A blush ran across both of the loverbird’s faces, with joy and anxiousness not far behind, neither of them expecting this to be the moment that would end their years of dating and start a new era of a life that they will share together.

"Saihara-kun, would you give me the honor to be your beloved husband?"

"Yes, yes, thousand times yes!!!!"

Shuichi practically shouted, before gently pulling him to a hug. Joy ran across both male faces, along with the giggling fit Shuichi had from how much joy he was having at this very moment. With no words said, Rantaro carefully cradled his lover's hand and gently placed the ring onto his lover's ring finger. Shuichi couldn't help it but smile, as he glanced over at the ring, then Rantaro, then the ring once again. Shuichi gently looked up at his lover, before leaning in for a tender kiss.

Nothing could have been perfect than this moment.

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #killing harmony #ShuichiSaihara #RantaroAmami #amasai #saimami

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matildastuartsold · 4 years

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hshq task twelve: a timeline

it reads as a semi lil self para’s and part news report...bc i didn’t wanna self para as a 3 year old. tw: abortion, implied drug used, mentions of underage, mentions of age differences, image issues, pregnancy, mentions of possible grooming, body image issues, possible signs of bulimia,

december 19th, 1997

for the third time in the last four, almost five years, the town crier of edinburgh stood just inside the gates of holyrood announcing the birth of a third princess, named matilda.

june 18th, 2001

at three years old, princess matilda made her first public appearance with her family at the royal highland show. the littlest princess made her appearance well known running off excitedly with yells of “maude-y!” following her, showing off her cartwheeling skills, and waving at everyone who looked especially those with a camera.

november 30th, 2005

she doesn’t know a life without the media and having to parade around them. like today, skipping through st. andrew’s day activities some of her earliest memories surrounded people with cameras desperately clicking and yelling the names of her mum and dad, her sisters and her. matilda liked it though, she could simply become the only name they yelled with a simple smile or a wave. she liked it, but she was tired of being called matilda. she didn’t want to be called matilda, she wanted to be called tilly, like her friends all called her. it’s why she turned around with a frown at the reporter who yelled matilda. “i’m not matilda! my name is tilly!” crossing her arms across her chest, she stuck her tongue out annoyed at the her full name. even with her mother and father’s scold of “matilda!” and her tilly let her father scoop her up in his arms making a face at the paparazzi as she was carried away.

january 4th, 2010

“but i don’t want to go to gordonstoun!” not that even mattered, ever since her mother became a queen last year it was never even worth putting in her own thoughts, not that it ever had been. now though it was going against the queen, not just her mum. tilly just didn’t want to go to gordonstoun with her sisters. it seemed so boring. still the press release was already out, trunks already in her room ready to be back. “if i have to go someone will regret it!”

september 19th, 2011

crushes were nice, all the boys in her year, the year above her, some even in margot’s year paying her attention, she’d be dumb if she didn’t enjoy it. so what if she kept sneaking out with them to smoke cigarettes and drink beers on the roof. she likes the attention from it. what was the school going to do? make her do laps? please, she wouldn’t do it and they couldn’t make her. so she found herself giggling at whatever connaugh mcdaniels was saying and took the sip of beer he was offering, because all eyes were on her in a way that they hadn’t been before.

april 31st, 2013

“i’m the fucking may queen!” throwing her head back in laughter, tilly twirled around the flower crown a top her head never moving. sneaking out to go to beltane, was the smartest decision she’d made in a while. falling back against her favorite duke to be she’d been going almost all the way with frequently, she took the flask from her best friend, georgia, taking a far too long sip of the vodka. she was happily drunk, feeling the brisk spring air on the hill hit her. she didn’t care about the obvious presence from people taking pictures of them. it didn’t matter she was drunk and determined for her goal of the night, losing the v card. “richard,” she smirked up at him. “we should head back to the tent, your may queen demands it.” letting out a giggle she moved back going for another twirl as she reached for his hand.

july 27th, 2014

she still doesn’t understand what the big deal is, her mother pacing back and forth going on and on about propriety. catherine looking like a mirror of her mother’s upset. her father’s disappointment. “i’m sixteen, just because i’m under this bloody crown doesn’t mean i’m not gonna go out and have fun!” her eyes glanced at the various magazine and newspaper headlines in front of her. she doesn’t see the issue with it, minus the invasion of privacy, in the picture she’s just pressed against the wall making out with one of her guy friends. she’s hearing the words come from everyone’s mouths but she’s not listening. just blankly sitting there.

february 3rd, 2015

“you’re what?! tilly you can’t sleep with your math tutor!” tilly turned at the exclamation from her friend, a look of confusion on her face. “why not? i need to pass and he apparently wants to fuck a princess it’s a win win! besides he’s not that old i doubt he’s even thirty.” besides it was better than any of the guys in their class asking to lose it with her. at least it would be good and she’d pass. she didn’t see an issue. plus it felt good to be wanted, to have someone want her and not want her to be like her sisters. who cared if he was a married man approaching his 30s? he wanted her.

september 10th, 2015

she woke up on her bathroom floor in just the lingerie she wore under her dress before going out. not that she cared after all, she’d probs look skinnier from throwing up all the drinks from the night before. she brushed her teeth, throwing her hair into a ponytail. Wiping off the remnants of her make up from the night before she looked on at the stranger in her bed. “get out before a walk of shame is too embarrassing, for your own well being.” Watching the man leave she shook her head curling into bed ignoring her phone continue to blow up again and again, no doubt people seeing pictures of the night before.

may 4th, 2016

“fuck! jesus fucking christ i look awful!” seeing the press release photo on the cover of the magazine sitting in front of her on the table, she picked it up and tossed it straight towards the trash can. looking back at her partner for her textile project, she gave her a look. another example of her being the worst of the family. “tell me why you thought bringing a tabloid where i look awful in would really make a good study environment?” shaking her head, she picked up her phone seeing who could come over tonight, she might be able to convince richard to get on a flight. she’d slept with arthur a few times maybe him? there were more than a few posh boys at oxford she’d met on her visits. shaking her head she motioned at the fabric she brought. “they’re all recycled, should work for what we need.”

january 3rd, 2017

"matilda herietta annabelle stuart how could you be so wildly irresponsible?!” her mother is screaming, her father looks disappointed. she knows she fucked up because it’s just the two of them. having her parents attention on just her, she could probably count the times that’s happened on just one hand alone. she doesn’t regret flashing the paparazzi though, the magazines printed with trainwreck tilly subtle covering where she’d lifted her top, but it was still obvious she had. “i was drunk, it was hogamany, i must have been black out by that point.” she knew it didn’t matter, watching her mother go into another rant. still, it felt nice for once to be the only person that mattered to her parents.

october 31st, 2017

she was didn’t know where she was really not that it mattered. she went up to oxford to party with the posh guys and all her. you could barely call the white lingerie she wore an angel costume, something she thought would an irony. she probably mixed too many liquors and too many drugs together. still she reaches for the hand of the guy she’s leaning on pulls him to a door, hoping one will be a bathroom or a bedroom. with her luck she’ll see what happened tonight on twitter in the morning.

august 7th, 2018

they told her to be on her best behavior, that she’s technically working edinburgh fringe festival. still she thinks she’s doing a charitable deed. she’s buying these poor struggling actors alcohol and then getting into drinking contests with them. it’s all rather sensible if you ask her. she’s doing a charity besides it feels good being the center of attention. she’s sitting on the actual bar, a rather attractive actor from some play or some shit she watched today has his hand on her thigh. why would she do anything else?

september 7th, 2019

she knew that the braemar gathering was a big deal, she’d been to it almost every year of her life. still it didn’t mean she wasn’t bored as hell after a day of it, it’s why she’d pulled richard aside at the noble dinner at balmoral later that evening. her own personal playground as a kid, she knew exactly which cupboard to push him in. it would have been so much nicer if her mother’s fucking cheif of staff hadn’t opened the door when she was on her knees. the yelling wasn’t even bad, it was the punishment. her life being packed into suitcases around her as she sat on her bed back in edinburgh 24 hours later. no what hurt the most was her mother’s last words to her before she got on the plane to dubai, “i wonder if you’ll ever stop disappointing me.”

december 23rd, 2019

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me?! happy birthday, happy christmas, we’re marrying you off to the crown prince of venezuela! how could you do this to me mum? catherine just said-” she doesn’t think she’s ever been more furious in her life. opening the bottle of vodka and lining up the cocaine she said on her. “you know what i don’t care if i was drunkenly with him once, mother it doesn’t mean i want to fucking marry him! you’re ruining my life! forgive me, your majesty. i won’t forget from now on i’m your subject, not your daughter. have a happy christmas, goodbye.” she threw the phone, then threw a shot back looking at the lines she set up. “lola!” she screamed walking towards her suitcase. “i want to look sluttier than a prostitute whose rent is due tomorrow, a christmas present to my mother given my engagement. i don’t want to remember tonight.”

janurary 21st, 2020

she knew for days, something was wrong. she wasn’t how she always was, then she got sick, consistently, three mornings in a row. sitting staring at the line of positive pregnancy tests that were in her bathroom sink she looked at cora rubbing her back comfortingly. “i need to call or text or- there are only two people i don’t make wear a condom and i haven’t slept with richard since september.” grabbing her phone she sent a quick ‘come over now’ text. and threw her phone towards the bed. “burn the tests tonight, get them out of her, taking them to the fucking mcdonalds to throw them away if you have to. they aren’t gonna be anywhere near me though, it can not ruin everything. my mother already hates my existance, she’d send me to the fucking gallows if i ruined her one chance at getting rid of me. not a word of this to her spy either or catherine.”

janurary 24th, 2020

it was cold and she was crying. laying on the chair in the doctor’s office, she held onto cora’s hand like it was her only way of living and she felt so much relief knowing that if she needed it neil would carry her out of the building. “i know, i’m not the model catholic or really any religion, but i still feel wrong, i feel guilty. i don’t know what else to do though.” so she cried, letting her communications advisor and his wife comfort her like they were her parents. sometimes they feel more like parents than her own. when the doctor comes in, tells her its going to pinch and might be uncomfortable, she lets cora distract her with stories of her and neil when they started dating. while she doen’t need him to carry her out, she leans on them both the whole way to car, letting herself come to terms that she wasn’t pregnant anymore.

march 9th, 2020

“félix, i’m going to get fucking wasted at the beach,” she wasn’t sure when she got fucking domestic. she lives with her fiancé, they share a bed, fucking wedding magazines are sent to her. it feels like she’s in a snow globe. one where she barely recognizes who she is. she still looks in the mirror and remembers that if things had been different her stomach would probably have a bump now, not be the flat as it is. so instead, she’s taken to more day drinking, trying not to think about the thing only 6 people in the world know about and why it makes her feel so empty.

#hshqtask012 #this is 2200 words of why tilly is as fucked up as she is #pls send her to therapy #ok her go my triggers #tw abortion #tw pregnancy #tw body issues #tw mentions of bulimia #tw possibilities of grooming #tw mentions of age differences #tw drugs #ok i think thats it?? scrolling is so MUCH WORK #im on a roll tonight tho #*here go #as always i hope u all realize richard is a filler name and its a dick joke

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napofamikrokosmos · 4 years

Text

It Follows: Birthday Part 1 - Kim Seokjin

Inspiration: It Follows - Waterparks

Release Date: 3 December 2019. 10 am EST (4 December 2019. 12 am KST)

Genre: Song Fic, Fluff, Angst

Warnings: It’s sad at some parts but otherwise no

Word Count: 1.8k

Synopsis: You and Jin spent years believing your love for each other would never be returned

A/N: Part 2 comes out tonight at Midnight at exactly 12 am EST

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIN!

"I'll hide my life savings. In my jacket pocket. A simple sighting will do. I've been playing. The same old chords. Until they start to sound out of tune"

You and Seokjin had known each other long before he knew the trappings of fame. What started as a childhood friendship slowly blossomed into something more. It was painfully slow. Neither of you acting on your feelings, afraid to acknowledge the idea. Many years were spent with the other watching as you each loved other people, with fear that they could be the one.

Even before you were old enough to understand what love was you knew how you felt about Jin, was more than friendship. Jin knew that his emotions would never let him feel as strongly for anyone else as he felt for you. Yet it was like a cycle for the two of you, a cycle of pain and heartbreak. Always finding comfort in the other only to push them to the side when a new person came along.

Jin had to watch you be with guys he knew were never good enough for you. He would always watch you fall apart over boys who didn't know how to treat a girl. It was like an endless cycle. Nights spent comforting you after another guy screwed you over, only for him to choke before he can confess. It was always too late when he gathered the courage.

You stayed by Jin's side every time he ranted about how he found out another girl was just using him. Your heart would always sink at the sight of him hurt or upset. Many nights you spent in his bed, afraid to leave him alone when he was vulnerable. During those nights, rarely did you ever get to sleep. You always find yourself whispering your feelings to his sleeping form. Then morning would come and you'd forget your words at the sight of him.

It felt like you'd both been saving up your love like it was a currency. Never spend too much of it at once on someone. Deep in your heart, you had locked away the truest form of love.

To everyone around you, they could see how in love you guys were. The only ones who were oblivious to it were you and Jin. All he hoped for was for you to realise that other guys weren't worth your time and they'd never treat you the way you should be. All you hoped for was that he'd stop letting himself get played by girls who only wanted him for his fame.

Not only was it painful for you two, but it was also frustrating for your friends. The rest of the boys were starting to feel bad for their Hyung and his hesitance to confess to you. Your friends were starting to grow restless after years of watching you choose him over everything else.

"I'll hide the things that pain me. In my jacket pocket. And bid the quiet adieu. I've been waiting. Around for nothing. Killing off the 'something to do's"

Seokjin would never admit it but he disliked every guy you'd ever introduced to him. At first, he didn't understand why. Most of the time it was clear they did care about you, and that there were no negative intentions. Yet just the sight of you with someone else was like a stab through the chest. The thought of someone else possibly making you happier than he could, would make his heartache. Jin was too kind to ever make it known. He always buried the pain and covered it up with his jokes and the facade that was his playful personality, especially around you.

Your hope of ever being with Jin would always disappear bit by bit with every new girlfriend you met. Trying your best to be nice to them even when you could see right through their act. Faking a laugh at a joke they told nodding with a tight-lipped smile at any question they asked you. You always tried your best not to make your distaste obvious, for Jin's sake. Every time you saw them together you'd feel your heartbreak even more. It was starting to get pointless waiting around for him to put your heart back together.

As the years went on you drowned your emotions, mostly frustration, into your career. As BTS' fame and popularity grew Jin started focusing more on perfecting himself as a performer. Unintentionally pushing each other away, spending less time together. Watching each other thrive from a distance.

Weeks passed, then the weeks turned into months. Those months became a year. And that year became multiple. The last time you had seen each other, you were just getting ready to start your new job, and BTS was just starting to become more popular. That was years ago, but when you saw Jin he looked exactly as you remembered him.

Neither of you had time for relationships like you'd had in your younger years. You could both vividly remember the last time the other had been with someone. How badly they'd ended, and how you sought out each other’s comfort. The last time you'd seen each other you barely had time to speak to each other properly.

Despite not speaking to each other in a while, you and Jin still slipped into conversation as if it was natural. You both sat across each other in a cafe in Seoul, during a less busy time of the day. It was the rare moment where your free days had aligned and you and Jin agreed to meet.

"This city is insidious. I'm sitting here delirious. I'm not scared of anything. The city is insidious. I'm sitting here delirious. I'm not scared, no I'm not"

"I've missed you. I've missed this" You smiled as you looked at him, sitting across from you "It's nice seeing you here in front of me as Kim Seokjin my best friend. Not through a screen as Worldwide Handsome Jin of BTS" Best friend, the phrase didn't feel like a good enough title. Every part of you was deafeningly loud with the words, my only love.

Seokjin laughed shyly before returning the smile "I've missed you too, I've missed my best friend. I'm so proud of you" that's what he said out loud. However the voice in his head was screaming, the love of my life.

At that moment your eyes met his and something clicked. Jin's expression changed as he looked at you, almost as if he could hear your consciousness yelling. You felt your breath get caught in your throat, almost choking on air.

"There's something I need t-" You both spoke at the same time, before cutting yourselves off at the same time. Laughing quietly you turned away from him and tucked your hair behind your ear "Sorry, please go ahead" you mumbled

"I think with my heart. And love with my head. Do you see the problem here? You rip me to shreds. I think with my heart. You fuck with my head. Do you see the problem here?. You rip me to shreds. So tear into me"

It took you slightly by surprise when Seokjin placed his hand on top of yours. He took your hand, slowly and gently rubbing circles into your skin. You blinked a few times looking at your hand in his, before looking at him again. His expression was soft, his eyes stared at you with nothing but adoration.

He took a breath before he finally spoke "I love you. I always have" his voice was quiet, clearly nervous "I spent my whole life knowing I was in love with you. I was just afraid of messing everything up and losing you. Now I know how dumb I was. Ever since I realised how I felt you never left my mind. I thought I could get over it by being with other people, but then I'd see you with a new guy and I'd realise it was only you who I wanted to be with. You've never left my mind, ever since the day we met. I love you and all I've ever wanted was to be with you"

Your mouth hung open slightly as you processed Jin's words. After a moment you laughed shyly and looked away from him. Shutting your eyes for a moment it was your turn to take a breath.

"Please say something" Jin begged quietly

You couldn't you didn't know what to say. All these years you'd spent burying your feelings believing Jin would never feel the same. Only to learn that he'd felt the same way your whole lives. How were you supposed to respond to that? What was he even expecting you to say?

After what felt like forever, Jin couldn't take your silence anymore, and the unchanged expression on your face "This was a mistake" he roughly pulled his hand away from yours. "Maybe I was wrong, I'm sorry for wasting your time"

He got up to leave, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. You finally brought yourself back to reality just as he walked out the door.

"Jin" you sighed softly to yourself "Jin!" you ran after him

He stopped walking and turned around, looking at you blankly. Any semblance of his previous adoration had disappeared. "I don't need you to explain yourself. I think we should just forget this ever happened" he started to walk away again

You threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his waist burying your face into his back "Please! Don't leave! Just listen to me!" You mumbled against the fabric of his hoodie "I love you too. I swear I do. I just didn't know what to say. My whole life I believed I'd be better off with someone else cause I couldn't risk losing you. I love you, I just never thought you felt the same. Please don't leave me!" you felt the tears forming in your eyes "I love you, please, don't leave" you held onto him tighter

Jin was silent for a moment before he sighed, gently releasing himself from your arms. He looked at you and you saw that he was crying too. "I'm not leaving you" he finally said, cupping your cheek and wiping your tears away with his thumb. "I love you"

Leaning in his lips finally met yours. All the years of doubt faded away. All your buried emotions were ignited again. Your lips fit together perfectly, as you melted into each other. Feeling your heartbeat faster. Warmth and comfort flooding through your entire body.

"Kiss me like nobody would. When I was 15. I've spent some years rewinding. But I'm still just me. Kiss me like nobody would. When I was 15. I don't invite the head rush. But it follows me"

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joeyvoeman · 4 years

Text

A Holiday Interrogation

@cassiegermaine

Joey, Cassie, and the kids head to Victoria’s to celebrate the holidays. Takes place in early December.

It would have taken Cassie longer to get ready if she hadn’t planned out outfits for herself and the kids ahead of time. It cut down on a lot of decision making anyways, luckily Addie wasn’t picky and Albie just didn’t have any choice. But as Cassie crouched to buckle the shiny toddler shoes she smirked lightly to herself, at least her kids were always dressed with taste. “Would you relax?” She laughed, looking back up at Joey who was pacing with things in the living room. “It’s going to be fine. You’re wearing a Christmas sweater. It’s not like it’s official Christmas dinner or anything.”

Joey tugged at his Christmas sweater as he paced, mentally making a checklist to make sure they had everything they planned to bring. It wasn’t like the farmhouse was far away, and it wasn’t even like this was his first time meeting Victoria, but he couldn’t help the nerves creeping up into his belly. “I know, I’m sorry,” he said, stopping in his tracks when Cassie said something. “I just feel like I’ve got to make a good impression, even if she’s already met me.” He had the complex or proving he was ‘good enough’ for Cassie.

Cassie was going to point out that once her mother made her mind up about someone, it was pretty hard to change her mind. They were similar in that way. It was very likely that Victoria was already forming opinions on Joey that making good impressions wouldn’t exactly adjust. Her lips thinned to keep these thoughts to herself though, they weren’t exactly comforting. “Are you kidding? You’re a perfect gentleman.” Cassie smiled easily at him, standing and letting Addie go from her seat on the stool near the front door. She hopped over to Joey, grabbing the red nose on his jacket, “Rudolph! Let’s watch!” Cassie cleared her throat with a reminder, “We’re leaving for Grandma’s. I’ll grab Albie, want to head out to the car?” She raised a brow at Joey, “Do you have everything?”

Joey nodded in his best attempt at confidence, taking a deep breath. It wasn’t like he had anything to hide. He smiled down at Addie when she grabbed at the nose on his sweater. “Yeah, right in this bag,” he said, pointing to a little sack that had the food he’d prepared to add to their dinner and the gifts they’d all be exchanging. He hooked it on his shoulder and then looked back down to Addie. “Want a reindeer ride?” he asked excitedly. “I’m Rudolph so we get to be at the front always!” Addie nodded enthusiastically and he crouched down to let her clamber up into his shoulders, reaching up to hold her knees as she kicked her little heels against his chest to get him going. With puff of his chest to let the nose lead the way, he stopped down and headed out the door toward the car with a little wink at Cassie.

Cassie watched in admiration as Joey collected Addie up on his shoulders to playfully gallop out to the car. She could hear Addie faintly cheering Joey on before she was disrupted to get buckled into her car seat. Cassie chuckled lightly to herself, picking up Albie from his play pen before exiting and locking up the house. “You’re a good sport, huh buddy? Happy first holiday.” Cassie murmured to the baby, rustling his light hair as she hurried down the porch steps to get Albie and herself into the car as well. “So my mom goes a little overboard on hosting.” Cassie warned. “It might look more formal than it really is. She mentioned wanting to do cookies with Addie too.” Addie perked up in her seat, “Cookies!”

Addie had seemed to warm up more to Joey lately and he was doing his best to keep it that way. She’d actually listen to what he said (most of the time) and wanted to play with him as much as her mother. She still tried to force Cassie and Joey apart whenever they tried to kiss or cuddle in front of her, but hopefully she’d get over that soon enough. Once everyone was in the car, Joey backed out and headed off toward the farmhouse. “I hope she likes the sides I made. There’s some traditional Native America fry bread and lots of other stuff. I didn’t attempt anything remotely French, just like you told me.” He chuckled a bit, the nerves still on the edge of his voice.

“She’ll love it.” Cassie assured him again, patting his knee as he backed out of the driveway and drove towards the Grove. “She isn’t picky with food. And hey, if you wanted to make a baked brie or something you could have-” She raised her hands slightly in defense, “You just don’t know what she’s like.” Cassie laughed, because by word of mouth she was probably blowing up Victoria Germaine’s tendencies larger than they really were. “Seriously though, it’s more than enough, and you got her a nice gift. Everythings covered. Besides-” Cassie’s brow furrowed at him again, “On the crazy chance she doesn’t like you, she doesn’t get a say in my relationships anyways.”

Despite Cassie’s reassuring words he still couldn’t help being nervous all the same. Joey tried to feed a bit off of Addie’s excitement as she hummed a nonsense song in the back seat, smiling at her in the rear view. “I know. It’s not you I’m worried about. Not in the slightest,” he said, putting his hand on hers on his knee and giving her a quick smile as he drove. Once they arrived, Joey took a deep breath. “If I start talking about how the first thanksgiving is a lie, you have permission to shut me up by any means necessary,” he joked, mostly just trying to relieve some tension in his own body.

Cassie smiled over at Joey as reassuring as possible when he parked the car and made his little joke. “Thanksgiving is over, it shouldn’t even be a thought. But ok.” She nodded to him, unbuckling her seatbelt and stepping out of the car to gather Addie and Albie from their carseats. The little redhead was already running towards the front door of the farmhouse, hopping up the front porch steps announcing herself with a comfortable familiarity while Cassie hung back with the younger boy on her hip and one of the bags of presents in hand. She could hear the signature voice and shuffle of Rags the domestic troll, and her mother not far behind. “Oh good you made it.” Victoria mused, descending the stairs quickly taking Albie from Cassie’s arms, “Come in come in, don’t you all look a picture.”

“My parents used to rant and rave about how the white man stole all their holidays from other cultures and it always got really bad right around now. They’d be talking about Thanksgiving until New Years.” Joey shuddered dramatically with a smile. “Thankfully I’m not that bad,” he jokingly added, gathering up the rest of the bags to head toward the door. Cassie has told Joey about Rags, but he’d never seen anything like him before. Joey smiled politely at the troll, and then at Victoria as she appeared and immediately took Albie. “Thanks for inviting us, Victoria,” he said as he ascended the stairs. Of course she’d invite her daughter and grandkids over. What a dumb thing for him to say. He was just trying to be as polite as possible, hoping he wasn’t coming on too strong.

Victoria nodded at Joey’s kind, though unnecessary thank you. “Of course. Any chance to see my precious grandbabies.” She bounced Albie on her hip with a short chuckle before looking back at Cassie as Joey as she stepped back into the house. “You two as we ll. I figured it was about time we were properly introduced anyways, Joey.” Her smile curled a bit more pointedly, and Cassie had to hide the roll of her eyes. “Do you have anything that needs to be heated in the oven?” The older woman asked next and Cassie glanced up from where she placed the presents. “Um, maybe the fry bread?” Her gaze flicked to Joey, “I’m not sure. Are we ready to eat pretty much?” Victoria nodded slowly, “Practically. Hope you all came hungry.” Addie piped up from the kitchen, “Cookies! Time for cookies!”

In person Victoria was far less intimidating than Joey had her built up in his head. They’d met briefly before and it has only served to hype her up more as this otherworldly thing looming above him. But she was just an ordinary woman. Just a person like he was. Nothing to be scared of. Right? “Nope, everything is ready. I have enchanted glassware I bought in a shop here that keeps everything at just the right temperature.” He smiled at Addie’s cries from the kitchen, looking over at Cassie with an overly loving expression.

“Oh I like that.” Victoria laughed at the mention of enchanted cookware. “You’ll have to tell me where you found that Joey, we never had stuff like that in Chicago, and I imagine it’s still a special order item around here.” She set Albie down in a highchair set up near the already dressed dining room table before she went to go help Rags in the kitchen. Victoria waved at the couple, “Sit, sit. You too Adeline.” She gently pushed the toddler towards the table. “I want to know everything. Other holiday plans-” Her voice raised in volume as Victoria started to move back and forth with serving plates of food. “You have to tell me how you two met.” She cleared her throat, refreshing her kind smile as Cassie slowly took a seat at the table after wrangling Addie into a booster.

“The shop was called ‘Just Right’. Everything in there was enchanted for temperature control, or repelling pet hair, or preventing you from losing things, etc etc,” Joey informed as Victoria walked away, reaching over to adjust Albie’s outfit a bit and tickle the boy’s sides to make him giggle. He unpacked the food he’d brought and populated the middle of the table with it as Victoria brought food out as well, and soon the table was full to bursting with dishes. “I was a security guard at the time. Cassie was still pregnant with this little guy,” Joey began, pinching one of Albie’s cheeks lightly, “and she was at the doors to the library after hours. At first I thought she was trying to break in but she was just looking for Addie’s little fox rattle, and I helped her find it.” He’d leave out the second meeting where he’d accidentally bought her a cursed painting. Not his proudest moment. “As for other holiday plans? I’m really at Cassie’s whim there. I don’t have any family left to celebrate with…” He realized there was a very downer thing to say, and he looked to Cassie desperately for help.

Victoria let out a laugh of pure amusement at the bits of story Joey provided. “Cassandra trying to break into a library? If she didn’t run the main one in town I wouldn’t be surprised.” Cassie blinked at the playful dig, but at least thankful her mother took the meeting light heartedly. “So Albie has known you since the beginning then? How sweet.” Her smile grew just a bit more genuine as she took a seat and began to pass a few of the serving plates around. The familiarity between the two was hard to miss anyways. She clicked her tongue at Joeys next admission. “Cassie will be sure to include you in everything. You seem keen on sticking around.” The older woman’s gaze dropped for a moment and she opened her mouth for the more pressing questions on her mind when Cassie jumped in. “I think the rec center for Holt mentioned sleigh rides, and of course we’ll do Christmas morning. You should join mother.” She glanced over to Joey then with a small nod. “We are small too.”

Joey couldn’t help but smile at Victoria’s little joke. Mostly because he completely agreed. “He has for the most part, yeah,” Joey said, just a twinge of sadness in his voice. At this rate the boy would never know his biological father, and that hurt Joey’s heart to know. But he kept the thought firmly to himself. He began to load his plate with food as everything was passed around, getting Albie some mashed potatoes to pick at and fitting his bib around his neck. “I am,” Joey answered simply when Victoria mentioned him sticking around. He loved the fact that both women were happy to include him in their holidays. Anything that made him feel like more of a part of the family warmed his heart. “Sleigh rides sound fun,” he chimed in. “I bet we could get them to let Addie sit up front and hold the reigns too.”

Cassie watched in loving admiration as Joey clasped the bib around Albie’s neck, part of her was happy to watch the young boy babble happily and attempt to eat mashed potatoes all the while covering himself in them. None of them would want to outright mention it, but the fact that the little boy would never meet Lilo would undoubtedly cross their minds. Joey was here now, she wished the rest didn’t weigh so heavily. When the plates came around to her she loaded up her plate appropriately with brisket and a few latkes. She pointed the latter out to Joey and muttered, “You have it with sour cream or applesauce.” Victoria was cutting into her food, and took one of the fry breads Joey brought examining it for a moment before she smiled over at Addie, “Think you could control some horses ma petite fille?” Addie puffed out her chest, “I’m in charge!” Cassie let out a breath with a shake of her head, “Oh now you’ve done it.” Victoria’s topic changed just as quickly though and she prompted, “So are you two living together?” It certainly looked serious enough from the outside. It made Cassie pause though, leave it to her mother to ask something official. “No. Yes? Um…” She frowned looking to Joey for help then.

Joey nodded at Cassie’s instructions. Him not needing to eat to survive meant he wasn’t too adventurous with his food choices, so there was plenty he hadn’t tried before. Victoria’s use of French made him smile, and Addie’s answer only made him smile wider. Goddess, he never thought he’d get something like this again. He hadn’t had a family holiday dinner like this in decades, but here he was with the woman he loved, her gorgeous children that he adored, and her mother that seemed to be warming up to him. How could he not be all smiles when life seemed so damn good? But then Victoria’s question cut through the fluffy thoughts with a sharp knife. There was no malice or trickery in the question, but Joey still felt there was somehow a right answer here. “Uh, sort of? I stay over at Cassie’s more often than not, but I do have my own home still.” Albie cooed next to him, mashed potatoes all over his mouth and the bib. He seemed to have gotten them everywhere but his target. Joey took a napkin and wiped some of it away, before picking up the spoon and feeding some to him with a smile.

Victoria nodded as Joey added some confirmation beside Cassie’s own. She really didn’t know what to make out of the situation for the most part, but figured as long as it was working then that’s all that really mattered. Addie watched Joey feed the younger baby pointedly before she started to pick apart a roll and throw bits of it on the floor. “Too much poe-tay-toes.” She commented, eyes wide at everyone at the table, the small face crinkled with laughter when Albie spit up the rest of the food he didn’t want. He squirmed under the napkin before babbling with hands outstretched towards Cassie’s plate. “Hang on there sport.” Cassie chuckled pushing the china further out of reach, which only seemed to upset him more. Victoria’s chin tilted up slightly, “Give him some of the roast Cassandra. Just tiny slivers.” Cassie frowned, but did as suggested anyways. “What do the kids call you Joey? Has that uh...come up?”

Joey leaned back to let Cassie take care of her son. He tried his best with the kids, but he was constantly reminded in the end that they were Cassie’s children, even if she had basically given him unspoken permission to be a father figure to them. He still was uncomfortable disciplining Addie and always looked to Cassie for guidance or silent permission. He felt like a child in his own way that way, and it made him feel guilty. He was supposed to be helping take weight off of Cassie’s shoulders, and he ended up almost feeling like a new burden instead. It would get better though. He knew it would. And almost like Victoria was reading his mind, her next question cut through him like a knife. “They just call me Joey,” he said, stopping himself from saying ‘for now’ like he almost did. He didn’t want to be a replacement, but she was right, it was a subject they’d have to broach as the kids got older. “This roast is delicious, Victoria!” He chimed, trying hard to change the subject in his fumbling way.

It was a clever diversion, and Cassie was thankful for it. The compliment had Victoria smiling and distracted rather then taking the extra moment to dissect what exactly Joey’s role was. “Thank you dear. It’s a tried and true recipe. Not that it takes a genius to cook a roast.” She laughed slightly at her own joke. “This fry bread is tasty. I do like to try new things, it’s appreciated. Cassie said you were ninety four. Is she messing with me?” She paused for a moment and Cassie watched her mother carefully, before giving a light scoff. “Mother, age isn’t appropriate discussion.” Victoria frowned doubtfully “Well if it’s true I just wonder if it isn’t a bit overwhelming. Holidays. It can be a bit par for the course.” Cassie reached out for Joeys hand under the table and squeezed it gently. While she couldn’t help but also be curious, she didn’t want him too feel like he had to drudge up anything.

Joey chuckled at Victoria’s question. She really had a way of getting right to the point. And even though Cassie tried to discourage the discussion, Joey waved a hand to dismiss any concern. “She’s not messing with you. I am ninety four,” he admitted, his voice a bit far away. “It’s a bit complicated but I was asleep for more than half that time. I haven’t had a holiday since the 60s.” He shrugged, then reached over and took Cassie’s hand because in that moment he needed it. “We didn’t really celebrate Christian or American holidays. We had our own, both Native and Atronach related. I’m not a stranger to the concepts of Christmas and all that but, it’s certainly not a boring experience for me.”

“Don’t worry.” Victoria laughed, “It’s not like we know exactly what we’re doing with the Christmas holiday either. Mostly, just the glitter and glam you see on television and movies. Right Cassie?” Cassie obediently nodded when she was pulled into the conversation. “So even further proof you fit right in.” Something that very clearly seemed to be pleasing VIctoria, whether she said so directly or not, her facial expressions were at least something easy for Cassie to read. There was a brightness and happiness to them that wasn’t always there. It was a bit of a relief to see. Victoria cleared her throat then, “So nintey-four? Did you serve in World War II?” “Mother-” Cassie exasperated, knowing Victoria was blunt, but even this was a little much. “Well, I just want to thank him if he was. Not many veterans left from that.” She raised her hands in defense.”If it wasn’t for the states assistance, we probably wouldn’t be here. That’s all.” Addie kicked her legs impatiently on her booster seat, “Cookies now!”

It struck Joey just how obedient Cassie was around her mother. She still had that same lively confidence and independence that seemed to glow from her very core, but it dimmed slightly in Victoria’s presence. She became a daughter first and everything else second. He supposed he just wasn’t used to seeing that. Cindy always challenged their parents whenever she could, and it wasn’t like his random hook ups after the war had took home home to meet the family. He’d never even met Lenore’s parents...but the observation was quickly wiped away when Victoria brought of the war and while he appreciates Cassie trying to shut down the line of questioning, he nodded at her to assure her it was okay. At least okay as it could be. “I did, yes. I was a paratrooper. Enlisted right before D-Day.” He hoped his body language made it clear he didn’t plan to elaborate more. Instead he gestured to Addie. “Looks like someone’s getting impatient,” he said with a smile to hide the sudden heaviness grief in his chest that he attempted to swallow down. “Maybe after cookies we can do gifts?”

With the bit of information that Joey did give about his military career, Victoria thought of a hundred more questions. But Addie diverted the conversation with her demand for cookies, and Joey and Cassie quickly followed “Oh finally cookies!” Cassie exasperated, lifting the toddler from her spot wnd setting her down to run to the kitchen, “What do you think about gingerbread men and snickerdoodles hmm?” She poses the question as she gathered Albie up back into her arms as well. “Make sure to save some cookies for Santa.” Victoria pointed out, piling the dishes that were no longer needed. Addie laughed, eyes crinkled in mischief “All for me!” Cassie clicked her tongue, “That’s not good sharing. Just see if you get presents then.” She winked over at Joey, a silent gesture of confidence. And it did make Addie pause as she counted on her fingers for show, “....Three cookies for Santa!”

Joey was so thankful for the distraction. Victoria was good at getting the information she wanted, and Joey wanted to make her happy and likely would have given it despite how hard it would be for him. But now he could focus on helping clear the table as everyone fled to the kitchen to get the cookies started. “I think three cookies is very ‘nice list’ behavior,” Joey said, returning Cassie’s wink. Victoria and Addie worked on getting the cookies in the oven and Joey retreated to the living room to make sure everything looked good for gifts. It wasn’t long before the others joined him, and he designated himself as the one to pass out the gifts. “Okay, who’s first?” Addie jumped up from Victoria’s lap excitedly. “Me, me, me!” Joey chuckled and considered making her wait, but it was the holidays after all. “Okay, but you and your mom have matching gifts, so you have to open them together, okay?” He searched the pile and picked out the two small boxes, handing one to each of them.

Cassie was glad Victoria took over when it came to cookie making. It gave her the next small break she needed. As Joey helped clear she started to slowly work on some of the dirty dishes only stopping when it came time to pass out gifts. Joey was the one who collected most of them, so it made sense that he’d pass them out as well. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” Cassie signed, taking the small box and unwrapping it with promptness only because she could see Addie squirming out of the corner of her eye. Her brows rose at the silver locket she pulled out, and she glanced over to see Addie with an identical necklace. The toddler pouted confused at the gift, but before she could do anything with it Victoria took it and clasped it around the young girls neck. “Oh it’s beautiful.” She mused, trying to hype it for Addie. Cassie stared at it with more wonder finding the clasp and opening it up so it unraveled pictures of her and the kids. “Joey.” She whispered, feeling a slight pang in her chest. “It’s wonderful. I love it.” Cassie learned over to show Addie her own picture before standing and kissing Joey quickly on the lips. “Great pictures and everything. Can you help me with it?”

Joey watched eagerly as Cassie and Addie up wrapped their gifts. He expected the toddler to be a bit disappointed, but he knew she’d appreciate it when she got older. What he hadn’t expected was for Cassie to be so moved. He knew she’d like it, but the look in her eye told of so much more. He took the kiss happily and smiled as she handed him the necklace, waiting for her to move her hair out of the way to clasp it around her neck. “I’m glad you like it. You look beautiful.”

“It’s perfect.” Cassie muttered, holding her hair to the side as Joey managed to set the clasp on the locket. It hung easily against her collarbone. She touched the metal gently, and smiled “Thank you. Though-“ and here she laughed a little, “I didn’t bring anything for you tonight. What a way to show me up Santa.” This moment aside, Cassie couldn’t think of anything that would match the thought of the locket. “Seems like a theme.” Victoria commented, moving Addie to pick up her own paper wrapped gift for the pair. It was clearly a photo frame. “Just something nice, for the both of you.”

“That’s okay,” Joey said with a smile, soaking up every bit of her reaction with a goofy smile on his face. “I wanted to give it to Addie tonight because she’d be too busy with all of Santa’s gifts come Christmas morning,” he joked. His attention shifted as Victoria handed him a present, and he took the lead in opening it. Inside there was a picture frame with the words ‘we make a great pear’ printed on it, with two pears holding hands. Inside the frame was a picture of Cassie and Joey that Cassie had posted a while back that Victoria had clearly nicked from the internet and gotten developed. “This is so thoughtful, thank you,” Joey said sincerely, handing it to Cassie so she could get a better look.

Victoria waved off Joey’s thankfulness for the gift. “I just saw it and thought it was cute. Couples always need more pictures of themselves when there’s kids involved.” Cassie took the opportunity to look over the frame and picture and snickered lightly to herself. “It’s great mother, I can already think of a place to put it.” Shed just need to make some room on the mantel. “Thanks for having us and the kids over. It’s been sort of hectic otherwise.” Victoria upturned her palms, “Of course I could never turn down a visit from my grandkids and lovely daughter. Don’t forget to take some cookies when they’re out of the oven. I sent forward the gifts for the kids with the postal service. Just for extra things under the tree.” Cassie nodded in understanding. “You don’t think we forgot you did you?” She teased lightly, motioning for Joey to grab the last gift.

Seeing how put together Victoria was, Joey could see it was very much like mother like daughter. Cassie very much seemed to unintentionally mimic the other woman. Sat up a little straighter when she was around. Things like that. Joey simply continued to smile at the exchange. Victoria being so accepting of him in spite of the situation with Lilo was so comforting to him. All he wanted was family in his life. “Oh! Yeah,” he mumbled, reaching down for the gift and handing it over.

“What…” Victoria feigned shock when Joey handed over the small gift, and Cassie could tell she was trying not to look too excited. Fifty year old women weren’t supposed to get excited over holiday gifts, at least that seemed to be a Germaine-ism. The older woman unwrapped the present and turned the large candle around. “Homesick Chicago?” She repeated, and Cassie explained, “I know you had a bit of a hard time moving out of the old house mother. That’s just a bit of something letting you know you don’t have to forget, yeah?” Victoria pouted slightly, resting a hand against her chest, “How sweet. Very nice. I’ll be sure to enjoy it.” She squeezed Cassie’s shoulder in silent thanks. Addie meanwhile had snuck over to the oven to crouch and watch the cookies cook, pressing her hands against the tempered glass when the timer went off. “It’s ready!” She beamed.

Victoria got up to join Addie in the kitchen and before Cassie could move to do the same, Joey reached out to grab her forearm and pull her close. “Thank you for this,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her softly. “Being part of a family means so much to me.” He tucked some hair behind her ear and let his thumb caress her cheek. “You letting me into your life is the best gift I could ask for.”

#w:cassie #chatzy #//lol have this a month later whoops

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pianoperson · 5 years

Text

Cradlesona

I have worked on this for two days but I am finally done with my Cradlesona!!

@lovingsiriusoswald Thank you for starting this trend!

Now, introducing my Cradlesona: Angel Burnham! (or is it really her name...)

This is my first digital drawing so it looks wack shhhhhhh

A brief warning, though: Personality might confuse you because of the way I wrote it. I’ll make a much better version of this, however.

Basic Info:

Name: Angel Burnham (It is not her real name, however.)

Nickname: Angel

Birthday: December 12

Age: 22

Height: 150cm

Blood Type: O+

Physical:

Eyes: Her right eye is a natural brown color. Her left eye, however, is akin to a galaxy. It became like so when her magical abilities decided to show themselves while playing the piano one day. Nobody knows how the galaxy pattern was made permanent on her eye (nor do they know why her eyes become the colors of space when she uses magic instead of the typical red).

Hair: Dark brown hair, which can look black in some angles, while in other angles, it looks more brown (the image shows it brown however).

Accessories: She has two rosary bracelets on her left wrist and a St. Benedict ring on her left middle finger.

Features: Other than her left eye, there isn’t anything about her that stands out.

Illnesses: Aside from allergies to most seafood except fish, none

Social:

Affiliation: Neutral at first, Red Army later on

Occupations: Originally worked as a waitress in a cafe, but sometime after the day she found out about her magic, she was recruited by the Red Army to help them in the war.

Relationships:

Blanc: He and Angel are friends. Blanc let her stay in his house, gave her a place to stay when she wanted to move out, and was the one who helped her find a job in Cradle. He does this as an apology for accidentally bringing her to Cradle. Blanc, alongside Oliver, are the only ones who really know where Angel is from.

Oliver: At first, Angel was intimidated by him due to his less than friendly first impression. But within the time she spent living with him and Blanc, they were able to get to know each other and become friends through ranting.

Fenrir: When he stops by to pick up something from Oliver, he would occasionally chat with Angel. He gave her a tour around Cradle as well.

Edgar: Edgar may be kind to her, but something about his smile was sketchy to her. She doesn’t pry, however, mostly because she doesn’t have much concrete reason as to why he felt sketchy to her. Edgar would occasionally tease Angel about her crush, however, much to her annoyance.

Kyle: Angel loves his chill self and admires his dedication as a doctor. They’re friends and sometimes, if she feels like going out, Angel would accompany Kyle to the bar. She never drinks, however, so she’s stuck with bringing Kyle home.

Lancelot: She was intimidated by him, but after learning what Lancelot means to the army through Kyle and Jonah, she realized that the King of Hearts is actually nicer than he lets on.

Zero: They don’t talk much but Angel thinks he’s great company.

Jonah: Angel has a crush on him. She found him attractive when she first saw him, but after Blanc’s brief descriptions of the Queen of Hearts and seeing him looking happy while eating a strawberry mille-feuille one day, she found herself crushing on him.

Personality:

Race/Ethnicity: Half Filipino-Cradle blood

Type of clothes/How they wear it: When she first fell into Cradle, Angel wore a long-sleeved dark blue-and-white striped shirt, with dark blue jeans and black sandals. Due to 19th century customs for women, she had to wear a couple of dresses. She has three favorite dresses that she wears nearly every day: the premium dresses from Jonah, Sirius, and Lancelot.

Mannerisms: She mostly doesn’t care and likes to act as how she wants to act. She can behave and be formal if necessary, but otherwise, she definitely does not have the manners of Lancelot, Jonah, and Edgar. When it comes to taking care of herself, she tries but it’s not enough. She brushes her hair and takes a bath every day, but her hair can still look like it hasn’t been brushed.

Favorite subject: Math because there is something about the numbers that captivates her and she feels pride over the fact that she can do math while her other classmates struggle.

How do they want to be seen by others: Angel hopes that people see her as a decent human being and not someone who seems to be bad-mannered or mean to others.

How people see them: Angel isn’t really sure on that aspect, but she did get a few comments from people who say that they were initially intimidated by her due to her serious expression. It’s most likely that she’s too serious for people to feel like they can easily approach her.

Introverted or extroverted: Angel is an introvert. She likes to hang around with friends, but that would mean staying in her place or being alone the next day to recharge. She isn’t the type to initiate conversation, but she would gladly engage in one if she feels like it.

What makes them laugh out loud: A lot of things actually. Snarky comments, roast comments, someone’s rather enthusiastic way of telling a story, dissing other friends, and the list goes on.

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider: Angel doesn’t judge people, especially if they’re strangers because she is aware that they both come from different places. However, she will judge if someone makes a stupid move, including herself.

How do they react to praise: Angel’s reactions can vary. If she is proud of what she did, she’ll say thank you, but if she does not find a reason to deserve the compliment, she gets bashful. Either way, her day will feel better, knowing she did something right.

“” criticism: Angel accepts it with grace. She does not want to make a fuss, nor does she want to reveal any negative feelings towards said criticism.

How do they treat anyone: If Angel is with a close person, she’s much louder and more carefree. She looks more cheerful. If Angel is with a person who dislikes her or she dislikes, she still acts polite, even if she is tempted to show her irritation.

What is their view on lying: Angel absolutely hates lying. It’s not to say she’s above it, but in the moments she doesn’t say the exact truth, she feels guilty. This extends to her friendships; she strives to not lie to her friends about anything and will always try to keep her word. This honesty, however, can sometimes cause her to say an off-handed comment, which she’ll regret saying later on.

Favorite animal: Her dog from the Land of Reason. When he pops into her head, she hopes that he is still alive.

Music, art, or reading: This is a hard choice for Angel, since she likes all three, but she’ll choose music. All three keep her entertained, especially when she can barely do anything without WiFi for her phone.

Favorite color: Darker hues of blue and gold

Favorite day of the week: Wednesday, because that day tends to be her most relaxing day

Most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen: Angel tends to find so many things beautiful. She can find beauty in even the way the stones on a cobblestone pathway are arranged. Deep down, however, she will say Jonah Clemence (lmao).

Political views: In the context of the conflict within Cradle, Angel is neutral. As someone who lives in the Philippines, she can’t help but note the disadvantages of the dictatorship that the Red Army advocates for. On the other hand, democracy can be somehow difficult to manage. Therefore, she prefers to not think about it.

How do they deal with conflict: She doesn’t. Angel tries to avoid arguments most of the time. However, she will speak up if she feels there is something wrong. When she does argue with someone, she tries to keep her inner peace without blowing up. However, when faced with conflicts regarding personal problems, she can get stressed easily and lose it.

Are they more likely to fight with their fists or their tongue: Angel prefers to speak. She is doubtful that she can fight, even with magic and the resistance to it in her arsenal.

How do they deal with stress: Angel will rant to herself when she’s completely alone. Sometimes, she’ll also rant to Oliver. If what is stressing her is sadness, however, she will keep it in and not tell anyone.

What is their biggest regret: Angel is the type to regret a lot of things and when she least expects it, the things she regrets will enter her head and she will clench her fist and shut her eyes tight to make it go away. Her biggest regret, however, is when she played Sonata Pathetique mvm. 3 in a restaurant, the day she found out her magical abilities.

What is their greatest fear: Angel is secretly scared of one thing: being unwanted and consequently alone. She’s scared that she won’t get a man who would love her unconditionally because she’s not good enough or she’s scared that her friends gossip behind her back or love each other more than her because she’s not good enough. This fear worsens after she found out about her magic.

When was the last time they cried: Angel hates crying, more so in front of others. She doesn’t know why she even does; it was a thing she knew ever since she was a child. Because of this, she doesn’t normally cry, even if she bottles up depressing thoughts. She does cry, however, when the guilt from the day she found out her magic and the fear of not being loved by anyone ate her up.

What is their philosophy of life: Angel likes to go with the flow but she has to establish a few things she wants in life to make it easier.

What will they stand up for: Angel doesn’t have much she particularly feels passionate about, as she’s the type who would rather chill and not be caught in conflict. But if there’s one thing that would irk her, it’s people being mean. She doesn’t get why people would betray their friends nor would she understand why people are jerks. Therefore, she tries to be nice to everyone she meets.

Is it easy to admit their mistake: Yes. Angel will know if it was her mistake or not.

Is it easy to forgive others: Definitely. Angel can’t hold a grudge.

Weak traits: Angel can be lazy and won’t complete a project she started on. Angel also has some level of arrogance, born out of the fear that she isn’t good enough and that no one would want her.

Strong traits: Angel will always try to be a trustworthy person and someone who tries her best.

Family and History:

Angel is actually from the 21st century who recently graduated from college with a degree in music. While walking back to a condo her family owns, Blanc bumps into her and drops his pocket watch, which she picked up. She chased him and called him but he was too fast. Eventually, he disappears, confusing Angel, and standing on the spot where he was, she ended up falling to 19th century Cradle.

Angel’s family is actually a mix of two worlds. Her mother was a Cradle citizen, born into a family of magic users, while her father was from the Land of Reason. Her mother, for some reason, entered the Garden on the full moon and accidentally ended up being transported to 21st century Earth, where she met Angel’s father and fell in love. They hid this from Angel and her other siblings and she only found out during a chance encounter with her mother’s parents. Because of the magic and resistance to it being passed down, she inherited both abilities, which are most powerful in music.

Skills and Special Abilities:

Magic: Angel can cast magic like typical magic users. When she uses magic normally, it’s far from the power of magic users such as Lancelot and Harr. However, when she plays piano or flute, her magic becomes much stronger, possibly stronger than the aforementioned two. Using it, however, can cause fatigue, fever, and even fainting.

Magic Resistance: Due to her roots in the Land of Reason, she also has the ability to nullify magic, making her one of the most powerful people in Cradle– and a target. Strangely, when she makes TwoSetViolin references, her magic nullification ability is more powerful. (It was how she even found out about her magic resistance. She remarked “iNtErEsTiNg” once and the nearby lights went off. The crystals in the light bulbs were newly installed.)

Pianist: She has a decade and a half worth of experience.

Flutist: While not as experienced with the flute (only having played it for around 5 years), she can still play it.

Paired with: Currently no one, but she has a crush on Jonah

Life in Cradle:

Angel just recently graduated from college when she first encountered Blanc, who bumped into her. Blanc seemed very antsy and, after apologizing to her, ran off. He dropped his pocket watch, however. The same thing that happened to Alice the Second occurred, except Blanc actually was nearby when Angel was falling to 19th century Cradle.

The portal closed immediately after Blanc caught Angel, so she was trapped in the unknown world.

On the first days staying in Cradle, Angel was nervous, even with Blanc and Oliver helping her. Often, she was reminded of how tense she was.

During one of the days Blanc showed her around, Angel saw a troop of Red Army soldiers, being led by Jonah. Angel found him attractive and kept glancing at him.

Eventually, Angel asked Blanc if she can get a job and her own living space, since she didn’t want to burden him. Blanc helped her find a job as a waitress in a cafe and got her an apartment to stay in.

She found out about her magic nullification abilities when she moved in to her apartment.

For two months, she carried a rather mundane life as a worker in a cafe. There was a day when, during break, she ate in another cafe at the same time as Jonah (and found him cute as he ate his mille-fueille).

A few days after the news of the former King of Hearts being assassinated was announced, Angel was eating out with some friends from work. The restaurant had a piano, so she decided to play Sonata Pathetique mvm. 3. Midway through the piece, she heard screams and shouts of pain. That was when she found out that she was unleashing magical attacks through her playing and started to panic when she realized her hands were moving on their own. That was when an explosion occurred.

She was brought to Kyle thanks to Oliver. She was the only one who survived the fiasco, which was dubbed Perish Song Night. She also found out her left eye changed color.

Because of the fiasco, she was fired from her job.

A week later, Red Army declared war on the Black Army. The next day, they faced off. Angel was nearby when it happened and was praying in her head for nothing bad to happen. That was when she accidentally repelled Lancelot’s magic, confusing everyone. It was enough for Blanc and Oliver to arrive and stop the conflict.

Two days after the face-off, Edgar finds Angel in her apartment, taking her to the Red Army HQ. There, Angel is made to serve the Red Army by using her magical abilities against the Black Army.

#ikerev #ikemen revolution #cradlesona

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