#Flamin Dick
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funniest parts of inside job pt 2
mommy likey drinky
“santa is fake! but student debt is real!” “you had to learn sometime, brayden”
“this is gonna be the most globally damaging midlife crisis since elon musk” oh that is APT
“ok boomer”
“are you poland? because that german guy straight-up owned you”
reagan saying that alex jones “looks like an orangutan fucked a fire hydrant”
“i’m the only one left who will listen to me!”
spending the whole episode confused on why oprah is back and then seeing her yell “i’m not the first oprah!”
“our missions do feel suspiciously like b-stories”
“why is my wallet on a metal leash? where would it be trying to go?”
lights being mothman’s kryptonite is a very obvious joke but it still works every time
KEANU FUCKING REEVES
“MOTHERFUCKER!” “well, he is fucking reagan’s mother, so yes. motherfucker.”
*takes out a lotus* “i don’t put these in my pocket. they grow there spontaneously.”
“i’m feeling drained from staring meaningfully into the distance”
“after dating so many billionaires, his millionaire lifestyle keeps me grounded”
the pussy posse being amazed and confounded by brett’s respect women juice
the real reason leonardo dicaprio only dates women under 25
“someone on the internet found out margot robbie is cgi” FINALLY SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH ME
reagan accidentally imitating owen wilson
“when i’m done with you, men will look at you the way they look at me: briefly!”
gigi’s reaction to her make-under: “i wanna cyberbully myself!”
tamiko’s reaction to rand turning into a literal manchild: “way to turn subtext into text, rand”
myc’s absolutely SAVAGE comebacks at the constitution heist
“how would the founding fathers feel about this?” “probably the same way your father feels about you”
“ok, give me the word and i’ll blow the hell out of this thing” “said your ex-wife to brett’s dick”
“aliens? a woman being in charge of a team? nobody’s gonna believe this!”
“it’s a psychic union where everyone thinks the same and acts the same like fucking marvel fans” HGFHJGSDHKJHSJGH
“the last time i saw a white guy that generic, he was on a don’t walk sign!”
“fresh dirt is brought to you by blue apron. do you only care about the environment when it’s super convenient?”
INCEL STEVE
“how did he get that hoodie?”
“WE’VE BEEN FUCKED BY THE POPE!” “for the love of god, CONTEXT!”
saying “when in rome” is half the reason people come to rome
the gay dog weddings
“i now pronounce you two very good boys!”
“that’s me in the corner, losing my religion.”
reagan offending the italians (again)
“oh man, if god is real, i’m fucked”
“in the name of the father the son and the HOLY SHIT”
in a vow to make air travel as inconvenient as possible, the third wright brother invented sharing an armrest
“i deserve to be punished. i still quote borat sometimes”
“look! a woman’s ankle!”
*takes one look at hell* “those flamin’ hot cheetos commercials really nailed it.”
“i love cable news. it’s like watching the apocalypse in slow motion.”
gigi describing brett as “the comic sans of people”
andre reminding us how old millennials are now
“destroying your brother’s political legacy. what are you, a bush?”
the ayn rand tattoo
brett accidentally unionizing and legalizing sex work
“the solution just seemed so obvious”
“because faking your own death worked so well last time, reagan. redundant much?”
“maybe all conspiracies are real!” “oh, that’s not good.”
brett’s lil brett puppet
lil brett dying
lil brett going absolutely batshit crazy during the entire end credits of that episode
“you look like a white girl at burning man!”
the coughing and face-touching station
“the only way you’re associated with the number 300 is in pounds.” “you calling me fat?” “explicitly!”
“i literally have no idea what you’re going to say next!” “vagina egg.”
“i feel like we have the same interests. wanna start a podcast?” “no! this is like a siren song for straight white men!”
reagan once used cheetos as croutons
*route 96 turns into route 69* “haha, nice”
the fact that andre is just the original text of the “one fear” meme
“fun for ages six to six and a half!”
berenstain bears originally being berenstein makes SO MUCH SENSE
“and finally the rich white underdogs became the rich white ruling class. an inspirational story”
jr refusing to put his shirt back on
brett gives a tinfoil hat to the shazaam poster and it WORKS
“turns out i wasn’t pregnant, i just had way too much del taco” “i’ve been there”
“you said something nice, but it felt mean!”
mothman’s alternate timeline was a reverse of the fly
andre is canonically into tentacle hentai
lampshading the plot holes
“me? in charge of a whole workforce, like santa?”
“how many oscars is meryl streep supposed to have? three seems kinda low”
andre, just having shoved nixon back into his grave, now covered in blood and holding a shovel: “i don’t wanna talk about it”
air bud!!
“i could beat a dog in chess! probably.” same, brett, same
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your first time with / jeongin/ I.n
Description : Smut , fluff
Tw : soft sex, kissing , nipple play , use of nicknames ,
HIII GUYS I THOUGHT OF WRITING THIS AS I WAS EATING SOME SPICY CHIPS LOL ( flamin hot funyuns) ANYWAYS SORRY IF MY SPELLING IS BAD LOL
10:54
it was a Saturday night around 10:10pm and me and my bf jeongin were sitting on the couch , jeongin was playing on his Xbox and I was just eating some chips watching him play, and suddenly I just said something that just came out , jeongin.. Im ready I say with a nervous voice , he turns to me with wieded eyes and raised eyebrows , you are?? he says putting his controller down on the coffee table, yes I say once again nervously , are u sure y/n? He says to reassure, yes I am sure , okay he says as he shuts down his game, he stands up grabbing my hand and leading me to our bedroom , we sit side by side on the bed , sorry I didnt mean to make this awkward I say , its okay my love its not awkward, he grabs my waist and starts kissing me the kiss gets more passionate he moves me on his lap as I wrapp my arms around his neck we continue to passionately kiss , then pull away and gasp for air , he looks at me with a warm expression on his face he then slide his hands under my shirt moving his hands up and down my waist then going up to my boobs , his hands go to my back and he unclipps my bra taking it off and throwing it on the floor , my face was all red I was so flustered , he starts kissing my neck leaving hickeys on it as I whismpered , his hands back down on my waist , I could feel him hardening as I was still on his lap , he stops kissing my neck and his hands go back up to my boobs , squeezing him and playing around with my nipples , I couldn't help but whismper once again , ''its okay dont be too nervous'' he says staring at my face as he continued to play around with my boobs , then he takes off his shirt and just looks at me with a warm smile , I was so flustered and pink I didnt know what to do , '' your so cute blushing like that'' he says , then he continued to remove my shirt , I didnt know if I was uncomfortable or comfortable but I didnt care anymore I just wanted him , then he takes me off his lap laying me down on the bed and removes my baggy jeans leaving me with just my underwear , then he gets up and removes his pants and under wear and sits back down on the bed looking at me, okay Just lay down for me okay? He says , I do as he says and lay down as he hovers over me pressing his chest on mine , its okay dont be scared ill be gentle, okay I say with a worried expression, he kisses my lips just once before sliding my underwear to the side and inserting his dick inside me, I let out a little whismper it felt weird but good , he starts moving very slow whispering in my ear if I was okay or if it hurt , its okay it doesn't hurt I say responding to him , okay good ur going so good for me he says ,jeongin i say whispering in his ear, yes darling whats wrong?? He says with a worried expression, can u go a little faster please i say , oh of course he says , he speeds up just a bit , as a pace is maintained, jeongin can u hold my hand please? I say , of course I can he says as he grabs my hand and holds it , I continue to let out more little whispers , '' ur so good'' your doing so good'' ''your so prefect'' jeongin whismpers in my ear burring his face into my neck still moving in the same pace , does that feel good y/n? He says moving a little faster , so.. Good.. I say as I feel my high coming, he just smiles at me again with that warm look , I love u so much jeongin, I love u too y/n. , we say as we both feel warm liquid pour down our thighs , after we clean up jeongin takes care of me making me mid night food and putting on a movie for us to watch as we cuddle to sleep.
I HOPE U GUYS LIKED THIS I TIRED VERY HARD AND I WROTE THIS IN THE DARK LOLL
#skz stay#stray kids#skz smut#skz i.n#yang jeongin#jeongin#i.n fluff#i.n smut#i.n scenarios#i.n stray kids#i.n skz#skz#skz jeongin#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#stray kids smut#stray kids fluff
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5 Times Kurt Talks About Sex and 1 Time He Doesn't (Part Three)
A/N: So, this was inspired the other day by a Nonny who was asking about how Kurt interacts with others on the topic of sex and this little idea popped in my head.
It’s a little mini-series, and I’ll post one part a day, then I’ll get it up on Ao3 after it’s complete.
It’s set in a post-canon-ish world when they’re all living in New York. The whole thing takes place over the course of a day.
****
Conversation Three: Rachel
Kurt’s sitting in the café, slowly sipping a refreshing vanilla café latte with caramel drizzle. The afternoon is turning out to be bright and sunny and has been otherwise exquisite. There’s only one problem… Across the table sits Rachel and Jesse, snuggled closely together, looking lovingly into each other’s eyes and acting as if he isn’t even in the room.
The two of them brush noses together, trading little kisses that only they think are cute, while Kurt leans his head on his hand with a disgusted look on his face. The whole thing is made even more revolting by the fact that Jesse had finished off a giant bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos and his orange lips are leaving dusty marks all over Rachel’s face.
“You’re extra spicy today,” Rachel coos into his kiss.
“Oh, just extra spicy?” Jesse teases. “Do you like when I get a little hot for you?”
“Mmmm, I love it.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Why is this his life? Why did they even bother to invite him to this lunch if they don’t even seem to care that he is there? He wishes Blaine were there with him. Then maybe he could show Rachel just how annoying PDA really can be. Why does Blaine have to work on the weekends?
Kurt takes another long sip of his coffee - there were truly only a few good things in the world.
Rachel and Jesse cup each other’s face - more interested in eating each other than the food on their plates.
With Finn, her youthful obsession had been understandable, and at least Kurt had been distracted enough with his own romance that he had been able to ignore most of it when he needed to.
And then there had been Brody… who even though lived with them for a while, at least had been tolerable. (And oh, god, Brody! Until that moment, he had forgotten there is another dick that he has seen up close. Completely unwillingly, and too often for his comfort, but at least he could text Elliott that his number is one higher… or not, maybe best leaving that conversation dead.)
The point, though, is that Rachel has always had a tendency to be blinded and single minded by her romances. Kurt had hoped once she and Jesse had gotten married that she would have grown out of her habit of being obscene in public.
That doesn’t seem to be the case.
“You know, Rachel, I thought you hated when your significant others ate spicy food,” Kurt shoots out. Thinking of Brody reminds him of something, and a smug grin climbs on his lips.
“What?” Rachel snaps her head towards him, her face contorting into a truly confused look. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I seem to remember a time with chicken wings and habanero sauce and a misadventure with Brody…”
Her eyes grew wide as it dawned on her what he’s talking about. “Kurt!” His name is sharp on her tongue. “You swore you’d never say anything.”
Kurt had said enough to intrigue Jesse, however. “Rachel, darling, I thought you promised that there were no secrets between us. I’m sure whatever this story is would only do well to strengthen our bond together.”
Kurt lets out a snicker as he sips more of his latte. “Are you sure you aren’t burning to tell him Rachel?”
She gives him a glare. “It was nothing, Jesse. Just a stupid little thing that happened.”
Jesse looks over to Kurt, an eyebrow arched wanting to know more.
“Her college boyfriend went down on her after wolfing down a dozen or so very hot wings,” Kurt says bluntly. Rachel’s face blushes a deep red as Kurt continues. “How’d the story go - Rachel? It burned so bad that you couldn’t sit down during the subway ride home?”
Rachel looked at him, fuming. “Do you know how embarrassing it is riding the subway without underwear? Just knowing those pervy guys can just tell something is going on under there?”
“You’re the one who gave Brody dessert after his meal,” Kurt snickered.
“I had to have a milk bath after that,” Rachel screeched unexpectedly, pointing at herself indignantly. “And you were the traitor friend who wouldn't help me with the burn cream the doctor suggested.”
“Oh my god, Rachel,” Kurt’s voice grows agitated. “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not going anywhere near your vagina!”
“A true friend would have done it!”
“Well, maybe you should have gotten Santana to rub some of her Yeast-I-Stat on you!”
“Brody and I had already broken up by the time she did that commercial! Or maybe I would have,” Rachel shoots back.
“Wait, what?”
“And I doubt that cream would have even worked! I’ve had yeast infections that have felt better than that!” Her voice carries enough that the two teens sitting a few tables down look at her funny.
“Oh, honey, that must have been such a painful experience,” Jesse says, cupping her cheek. “I, myself, had the misfortune in my youth of trying to masturbate after eating nachos with jalapenos. I thought I had washed my hands thoroughly, but even with the imported French, silken soap, it still burned. Regrettably I couldn’t touch myself for a week afterwards. And I had to lie to my mother - telling her that I had received a critical accident when attempting new choreography with Vocal Adrenaline.”
“Oh, my god…” Kurt mutters.
Jesse then turns to him. “And really, Kurt, Rachel’s vagina is the most beautiful flower whose honey I could suckle for hours if possible. I don’t blame her college boyfriend - or any man or woman - to be so desperate for a taste they’d jump in without proper preparation. If you are ever interested, Kurt, I’m sure Rachel would be willing to let you experiment on her so you, too, could have the nirvana-like experience I had when discovering Rachel for the first time.”
“Right, exactly,” Rachel punctuates, until she realizes what Jesse has said. “Oh, no, wait, Jesse…”
“Did you just offer your wife to me for sex?” Kurt isn’t sure he just comprehended what had happened.
Rachel waves it off. “Of course he didn’t…”
“Rachel, we shouldn’t cut ourselves off from experiences just because they scare us,” Jesse continues. Kurt’s eyes grow wide. What is even happening? “I, for one, am open for anything - especially if Kurt’s undoubted curiosity leads him to explore the vast, physical love we have for each other. I mean, why else would he bring up such a story? Though, he should be warned, I do critique technique and am not shy about it.”
“Oh,” Kurt says, shrugging at Rachel’s mortified face. “So, it was a proposition for a threesome. Noted.”
Rachel lets out a regretful groan.
“Well, that seems like it would hardly be fair,” Jesse continues. “Blaine is also always welcome to our bed.”
Kurt nods, going back to his latte. He should have had lunch with Elliott.
#s.o. writes things#five times#kurt hummel#rachel berry#jesse st. james#kurt hummel fic#omg i love writing bonkers jesse
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Something that's always fascinated me and sometimes really fucking frustrates me were the translations of names or where some names come from other names.
A lot of us know that funny bit of "How the fuck do you get Dick from Richard?!" "You ask him nicely."
I personally, still don't fucking get how Peggy comes from Margaret or Ned comes from Edward. I honestly just thought Ned was its own name.
You have other examples of like how from English to Spanish Michael becomes Miguel. There's some logic that I've just accepted.
But! Adam in Spanish becomes Adan. First few times I heard a Spanish relative say that name, it was speaking about Adam and Eve from the Bibble, but I shrugged it off because...I don't really know. But then when visiting my Catholic family I saw it spelled out! Idk why Adam become Adan trips me up more than Eve becoming Eva does, because her name changes too.
Anyway, names are weird. Translation rules are a trip.
[[This isn't even tapping into Mexican nickname culture. I have a cousin who all of my life have heard him be referred to as Chetos, cos they were his fave snack as a wee child and you'd always see him with his flamin' hots. When we got to that school portion where I was a junior and he was a freshman at the same school, I heard a coach call out to him and I was like, "WHOM THE FUCKETH IS HE TALKING TO?????" and that's when I learned my cousin's government name.]]
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My partners and I have been role-playing a BG3 modern AU and here's what we've got so far(partners are RPing as Gortash and Halsin, while I am role-playing Sentry but also responsible for entire Bhaal family)
Halsin (as written by GamerBear aka Dadbod Halsin who doesn't have much internet presence) :
- a veterinarian and volunteer summer camp counselor.
-kind of a hippie.
-extremely well educated, couple of degrees under his belt.
-studies cults as a hobby
-Friends with Sentry after catching him trying to steal blood and parts from cold storage where Halsin works.
-in love with Sentry, doesn't want to weird him out so doesn't really confess or push it.
-Politically opposed to Gortash and his entire deal.
Gortash (as written by Keiko, my girlfriend, who kind of abandoned tumblr)
-Sleazy but charming CEO gunning for politics
-Current CEO of Bane Enterprises, which is a weapons manufacturer.
-Hosts lavish parties and events weekly.
-Sentry is actually the second Bhaalist to be tasked with assassinating him and end up sleeping with him instead.
-Generally well liked by underlings because of all the perks he provides through his events.
-Definitely has a type, which is Bhaalists.
Sentry Ojeda and the Bhaal crime family (as written by me)
-Members in order of age: Gary(default Durge, RIP to a real one), Gabraela(Tiefling),Tomi (fae being in the form of a beautiful elf), Jakael (Drow), Sentry(Tiefling), Orin (Changling). All children of Bhaal, the absent mob boss father, currently being led by Papa Sarevok and were mostly raised by Sceleritas Fel.
-Prostitution, drugs, extortion, murder for hire.
-The city's most well known secret and most powerful crime family.
-Gary was killed shortly before the start of the story, passing on the title of 'Dark Urge' to Sentry. Was dating Gortash before his death, a role Sentry also inherited.
-Sentry is absolutely the kind of person who takes time out from his serious jobs to spray paint dicks on Flamin Fist patrol cars.
-Despite being second youngest, Sentry was Gary's protégé, being the only one the Dragonborn considered competent at his job.
-Tomi does cover ups and good press, framing the family as a pillar of the community.
-Jakael is mostly in charge of extortion, he's crude and rough but he gets the job done.
-Gabraela is in charge of helping Sarevok keep the younger ones in line.
-Sentry uses his drug dealings and hooking to get close enough to targets to kill them. Sometimes he will kill random clients who weren't targets just to throw off suspicion.
-Orin was jealous of Gary and is also jealous of Sentry. It also bothers her she isn't really permitted to take the lead on any plans.
-Sentry and Gary both had more freedom than any of their other siblings and were able to, to a point, defy their father's orders.
#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#oc#tiefling#durge#dark urge#writing#personal#RP#roleplay#hush rinwell#OC: Sentry Ojeda
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I was sexually threatened by boys in school. I won't say what age. They talked about whether my vagina would be loose already or whether their dicks would stretch it out, talked about putting pens inside of me and seeing how many would fit. Turning them sideways in my vagina to get them stuck in my cunt and hurt me. If the metal pieces on the pens would tear my flesh and get stuck in me.
I don't remember if they did anything to me but there were things I thought about. Paper inside my organs, someone shoving crumpled pieces of notebook paper into my vagina one at a time, pushing them in with their fingers and packing them in, the sharp edges of the creases rubbing into my tender walls and expanding into my belly. Feeling stuffed inside.
I don't think they pushed me down into the dirt behind the school, in the woods, and held me down while they slid rocks and pebbles into my cunt. I don't think I was filled with stones, heavy inside, pinned down by the weight in my own body while I cried, stretched beyond belief.
I don't think they would have shoved a glass bottle inside me. Not with the rocks in me, not to push them deeper into my every crevice, joking about how the bottle might break and tear me up. They wouldn't have cared if I bled to death. They might have even massaged on my stomach so the glass could move around inside, laughing at my screams.
I don't think they pulled my panties down and stuck a splintery wooden broomstick inside me either. Or stuck Flamin Hot Cheetos in my pussy. I don't think they would have crushed the dry, spicy snacks inside my womb with the broomstick like a mortar and pestle. Or gotten the school janitor to push the mop handle inside there while he cleaned up the mess, jerking the tool back and forth while I wailed.
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List of Movies / 2023 Movie Trailer Mashup
* * * PART I - I WOULD STILL FOLLOW YOU * * *
0:00 - Barbie (double shot)
0:04 - Peter Pan and Wendy
0:06 - The Iron Claw
0:08 - River (double shot)
0:11 - Second tour
0:13 - Barbie
0:19 - Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
0:21 - Canary
0:22 - Soudain Seuls
0:24 - Killers of the Flower Moon
0:26 - When You Finish Saving the World
« Why did you look for me? I just wanted to see you one more time. Because you left so suddenly. » - Past Lives
0:26 - The Magic Flute (triple shot)
0:32 - Past Lives
0:35 - A Thousand and One
0:36 - King Coal
0:37 - Les Enfants des Autres
0:39 - The Velveteen Rabbit (double shot)
« I still think about what would've happened if you hadn't left. I've been kind of wondering the same thing recently. » - Somebody I Used to Know
0:41 - Somebody I Used to Know (double shot)
0:44 - What Happens Later (double shot)
0:45 - Love at First Sight
0:47 - Earth Mama (double shot)
« Is it better to have had a good thing and lost it, or never to have had it. » - Love at First Sight
0:49 - The Other Zoey (double shot)
0:51 - Love Again (double shot)
0:52 - Scrapper (double shot)
0:54 - Oppenheimer
0:56 - Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 3
0:57 - Amerikatsi
0:58 - The Last Voyage of the Demeter (double shot)
1:00 - Pravednik
1:02 - Lord of the Wind
1:03 - The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (double shot)
1:05 - Society of the Snow (double shot)
1:08 - Lord of the Wind
1:09 - The Creator (double shot)
1:11 - Sitting in Bars with Cakes
« Even if you chose the saddest, darkest, coldest town, all I knew is that I’d follow you. Because you just... see the spark in everything. » - Sitting in Bars with Cake
1:12 - Elemental (triple shot)
1:15 - The Boy and the Heron
1:16 - Wish (double shot)
1:19 - The Tunnel to Summer, the Exit of Goodbyes (double shot)
1:21 - NYAD
1:22 - Knights of the Zodiac
1:23 - Migration
1:26 - The Little Mermaid
« Just remember, the thing you're running from is almost always the thing you're running towards. » - Carmen
1:28 - Poor Things
1:30 - Peter Pan & Wendy
1:32 - The Eight Mountains
1:33 - Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom
1:34 - Trolls: Band Together
1:35 - 65
1:36 - The Mission
« But this... this is the place to be. » - Mending the Line
1:38 - Jesus Revolution
1:39 - Knock at the Cabin
1:41 - Mending the Line
1:42 - The Unknown Country
1:43 - The Color Purple
1:44 - The Royal Hotel (double shot)
* * * PART II - BITCH I GOT 'EM GOIN' CRAZY * * *
1:46 - Skinamarink (double shot)
1:53 - Cobweb (triple shot)
« Don't be scared. I just wanna talk. It seems to be that you could use a friend. I know I could. But if you don't want one, I'll just leave. » - Cobweb
2:01 - The Boogeyman (quadruple shot)
2:09 - M3GAN (septuple shot)
2:19 - The Wrath of Becky (quadruple shot)
2:21 - Bottoms (triple shot)
2:24 - Theater Camp
2:25 - Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret (quadruple shot)
2:28 - Evil Dead Rise (double shot)
2:29 - The Seven Faces of Jane
2:30 - 80 for Brady (double shot)
2:32 - Millie Lies Low
2:33 - Flora and Son (double shot)
2:34 - House Party
2:35 - Anyone But You (double shot)
2:36 - Dicks: The Musical
2:37 - Next Goal Wins
2:37 - Magic Mike's Last Dance
2:38 - Joy Ride
2:40 - Juniper
2:44 - House Party (double shot)
2:45 - Fair Play (double shot)
2:46 - Dumb Money (double shot)
2:48 - The Beanie Bubble (double shot)
2:49 - Flamin' Hot
« Nobody ever got rich without doing no crime. » - Your Lucky Day
2:50 - Your Lucky Day
2:50 - Eileen
2:51 - Priscilla (double shot)
2:52 - The Outlaw Johnny Black
2:54 - Barbie (double shot)
2:57 - No Hard Feelings (double shot)
2:58 - Joy Ride (quadruple shot)
« You're drug dealers now, bitches! » - Joy Ride
3:03 - Talk to Me
3:04 - birth/rebirth
3:05 - Venus
3:05 - Amanda
3:06 - Silent Night
3:07 - Thanksgiving
3:08 - The Killer
3:09 - Ruby Gillman: Teenage Kraken
3:10 - Til Death Do Us Part
3:11 - The Blackening
3:12 - Blue Beetle
3:13 - John Wick Chapter 4 (double shot)
3:15 - Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (triple shot)
3:18 - Shazam: Fury of the Gods
3:19 - Godzilla Minus One
3:20 - A Brighter Tomorrow (triple shot)
3:21 - Second Tour (double shot)
« I just want you to know one thing. I'm not a monster. » - Anatomy of a Fall
3:22 - Mafia Mamma
3:23 - The Equalizer 3
3:24 - Fast X
3:25 - The Marsh King's Daughter
3:26 - Plane
3:26 - Anatomy of a Fall
3:28 - Hypnotic
« You don't look so good, mom... Open up now! » - Evil Dead Rise
3:29 - The Pope's Exorcist
3:30 - Unwelcome (double shot)
3:31 - Evil Dead Rise
3:32 - It Lives Inside
3:34 - House Party (double shot)
« That is the craziest thing I've ever seen, and I'm Dennis Quaid and Dennis Quaid has seen some shit. » - Strays
3:36 - Strays
3:41 - Infinity Pool
3:42 - Scream VI (double shot)
« You f*ckin nutjob! » - Sanctuary
3:43 - Sanctuary (double shot)
« Let's decimate this mother! » - Polite Society
3:45 - Polite Society (triple shot)
3:48 - Miss Marvel
« There was a bear. It was f*cked! Hey, that's inappropriate. » - Cocaine Bear
3:50 - Cocaine Bear (sixtuple shot)
3:59 - Five Nights at Freddy's (triple shot)
4:01 - No One Will Save You (quadruple shot)
« And now I have become death, the destroyer of worlds. » - Oppenheimer
4:06 - Hidden Blade
4:07 - The Flash
4:09 - Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
4:10 - Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
4:11 - The Creator
* * * PART III - ART FROM A TRUTHFUL PLACE * * *
4:14 - Oppenheimer (double shot)
4:18 - The Wish of Fairy Fish
« History is not simply a study of the past, it is an explanation of the present. » - The Holdovers
4:19 - The Holdovers (double shot)
4:21 - Emily (double shot)
4:22 - Hilma
4:24 - Paint
« In Japanese culture, the belief is that the cracks, the breaks... become an intrinsic part of the life of an object. An object becomes more beautiful because it's been broken. » - Rare Objects
4:25 - Rare Objects (double shot)
4:28 - The Zone of Interest
4:29 - Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
4:31 - Oppenheimer
4:33 - Cats in the Museum
4:34 - Insidious: The Red Door
4:35 - Inside
4:36 - Revoir Paris
4:37 - Air (double shot)
4:39 - Tetris (double shot)
4:42 - Blackberry (triple shot)
4:45 - La Chimera
4:47 - A Million Miles Away
4:48 - American Fiction (double shot)
« What's the image tucked away in your brain, that makes your heart ache and your soul feels like it's going to burst? » - Paint
4:50 - Paint
4:52 - The Nun II
4:53 - Dream Scenario
4:54 - Bird Box: Barcelona
4:56 - El Conde
4:57 - Beau is Afraid
4:59 - The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
5:00 - Poor Things
5:01 - Asteroid City
« When you make art from a truthful place, people find out something about you. » - The Kill Room
5:03 - Carmen
5:07 - A Haunting in Venice
5:08 - The Nun II (double shot)
5:11 - Maestro
5:13 - Oppenheimer
5:14 - Gods of Mexico
5:15 - Killers of the Flower Moon
« Ideas live forever, but humans only have one ending. » - Barbie
5:16 - Wonka (double shot)
5:18 - The Forger
5:19 - L'Immensità
5:20 - All of Us Strangers
5:22 - A Good Person
« You can't have it all, kid. » - Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
5:23 - Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
5:26 - Bones of Crows
« Nobody dies! Now we have to stop. Sometimes you just have to let go. » - The Flash
5:27 - The Flash (double shot)
5:30 - Napoleon (double shot)
5:31 - Haunted Mansion (double shot)
5:33 - Beau is Afraid
5:35 - 65
5:36 - Evil Dead Rise
5:37 - Oppenheimer
5:38 - The Animal Kingdom
5:39 - Ferrari
« Cats die. Music fades. But art... is for keeps. » - Inside
5:40 - The Exorcist: Believer
5:40 - Foe
5:41 - Gods of Mexico
5:42 - Peter Pan & Wendy
5:44 - Spinning Gold (double shot)
5:45 - The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar
5:46 - Landscape with Invisible Hand (double shot)
5:48 - Hilma
5:49 - Inside
5:50 - Chile '76
5:51 - Hidden Blade
5:51 - Divinity
5:52 - Oppenheimer
5:53 - The Super Mario Bros Movie
5:53 - Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (double shot)
5:54 - The Boy and the Heron
5:55 - Chevalier
5:55 - The Beast
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I really want to make fanart of my Baulder's Gate OC and their Flamin' Hot GF but the thing is, during character creation I gave them massive testicles, and for some reason when my waifish nonbinary githyanki monk with a massive hog wears pants their dick and balls are always clipping right through them, just fully out in front of Vlaakith and everybody. And I could easily draw them wearing a properly fitting pair of pants to meet TOS on this and any other site people are on but at what cost?
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Are Dew Afraid of the Dark?
Hey there, corn chip foot odour. Surprise! The bonus blog is coming before the main one today! Sorry, I’m thirsty, and it’s what I got in my fridge. And I’m not gonna drink it without reviewing it, are you crazy? What kind of person do you take me for~?
Mountain Dew VooDew 4 Limited Edition 2022 Mystery Flavor
I’m just including all of that because I’m not sure what’s supposed to be the official title. “VooDew 2022″ is pretty fun to say, though. But yeah! It’s that time of year, with a new VooDew to try! And once again, I bought the whole-ass 12-can box, because it’s what the store had in stock and also because the art is beautiful. It’s not quite the Scooby-Doo vibes from last year, but it’s pretty all right~
Anyways, I also bought the 12-pack on these grounds: A) I've enjoyed the previous VooDew varieties, 2) if you make a mystery flavour a bad flavour and sell it as a 12-pack, that's the ultimate dick move, and D) it still can't be as bad as the gingerbread or flamin' hot versions~
Anyways, I have no preconceived notions regarding this VooDew, so let’s crack one open and do a discover for ourselves. Join us, won’t you~?
No spoilers in the ingredients list, at least as far as I can tell. “Tartaric acid” might be new, but I can’t get any info from that. And hmm... Not sure I can glean anything from the smell test either. Again, it might be the cold can interferance, I get that a lot. It’s one reason I prefer the bottles. A fruity scent I can’t quite place...
Okay, but after the first sip, I think I can place it. You know what it reminds me of? Swedish Fish. Golly, do I love me some Swedish Fish, and this is pretty much what this is. And now the tartaric acid makes total sense, if you follow the logic path of tartar sauce to fish. But ye, once again a VooDew that knocks it out of the park. Definitely no regrets for getting the 12-pack now. Fish out the cash for this one, because I sure will again~
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Consumer Guide / No.126 / MONDO TRASHO - a 5 piece psych, garage band hailing from Liverpool - with Mark Watkins.
MW: When did the band form and why the name MONDO TRASHO?
Jay Muat: We love obscure films and counterculture and weird things. Russ Meyer and John Waters were big influences when starting off. We got the name from John Waters, his first film from 1969. We were inspired by the Mondo movement of the 1960's. We wanted the word Mondo in the name of the band and so ended up with Mondo Trasho.
Chris 'Moz' Green: I like to to say, although this is not a true translation, that the world is full of rubbish. Me and Jay got the band together years ago. Its been an ongoing project. Losing a few drummers along the way. I feel now being 5 piece and the way the band sounds / feels is what I've always wanted it to be.
Dan Myers: I joined about 2 years ago. I knew the guys were looking for a guitarist through my old band mate Jack Birch, from The Heavy North. I got to listen to a lot of live recordings and demos. 'Strangers' really stood out to me; it made me want to join the band.
MW: What are the band's influences and describe your sound...
Chris 'Moz' Green: Inspired by the grandiose of 60's Scott Walker, the growl of like, The Doors, and weirdness of Frank Zappa, and The B52's, and the obscurity of the Flamin' Groovies. We started out being inspired by The Flat Duo Jets, The Cramps, The Doors and the sound has grown from there. We've added more of a garage punk sound and it has grown and evolved from there.
Jay Muat: I'm really into Love, old film soundtracks, Giallo (lounge type music), The La's, Pale Fountains, Ennio Morricone.
Dan Myers: I got into a lot of blues stuff when I was younger like Peter Green, and also early Black Keys, Queens of the Stone Age and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club too. Over time that's broadened into more cinematic stuff.
MW: Who does what in the band, and who supports Liverpool, Everton, maybe even Tranmere Rovers?!
Chris 'Moz' Green: I’m Chris 'Moz' Green I play Hammond organ & electric piano backing vocals sometimes play the Theremin. Not a football fan, I was raised a Liverpool Fan.
Then you’ve got Jay Muat - vocals & guitar, but he’s not really into football at all.
There's Dan Myers - guitar & backing vocals. He’s a Red. I reckon he cried when the news about Klopp broke but wouldn’t admit it to us haha.
Luke Hamilton plays bass and does backing vocals. He's not really a football fan, says he's a blue nose (he goes the game).
Finally, Greg Mitchell on drums. He is just a normal Everton fan.
MW: What do you like best about Liverpool? The least? What do you think are some common misconceptions about its citizens and the city itself?
Chris 'Moz' Green: It's a weird place because it's in a constant flux. There's always new buildings or things shutting down (mainly good live music venues). You get used to places being there and one day it's gone ("There are places I remember"...as the Beatles song goes).
It is a music city. There's loads of bands doing different music, getting signed, doing tours and that. Not everyone is a Beatles mop top fanatic. It's a boss place. Some of the people are boss. Liverpool has become a city break / Hen and staff party and University city. Worst thing is football match traffic - the whole of north Liverpool goes nuts on match day.
MW: Top 5. What are your favourite surf records of all time?
Chris 'Moz' Green: Of course we all love: Link Wray, Dick Dale,The Lively Ones, The Centurions, The Jokers, Freckles, The B52's and The Del Roswells. Top 5 are hard, but;
5. Anything by the Razorbills. More people should listen to this band. They are just a great band. Everything they do sounds amazing to me. Wish I could see them live.
4. The Impacts - 'Wipe Out'. Always sounds great, my go to for decent surf.
3. 'Unleashed' by The Eliminators. When I first heard the album I was like woah! how did I miss these from the 60's. Amazing instrumental surf boss horns.
2. Guantanamo Baywatch albums are boss. Modern surf bands who are solid. We were lucky to play with Night Beats last year and he was touring with Chris Scott the drummer from GB - my jaw was on the floor watching him.
1. 'Lolita Ya Ya' - The Ventures. I never get bored of this track, the harpsichord is boss. Fits into any playlists.
MW: Top 5. What are your favourite psych records of all time?
Jay Muat: Honourable mentions: The Animals, (some) Pink Floyd, Grateful Dead, The Kinks, (loads of) Frank Zappa, 'Abbey Road' and more modern stuff like Triptides or Levitation Room.
5. The Seeds / 13th Floor Elevators debut albums. Just really good albums I remember finding both of these when I was 16 and thinking I'd unearthed rare gems.
4. Nuggets compilation - it's just boss. Got loads of amazing tracks on it from bands who deserved to be massive. 'Don't Look Back' by The Remains is such a good tune; it introduced us to so many great bands. When writing songs it's always worth at looking for references.
3. Love's 'Forever Changes' (1967) - just perfect.
2. The Doors' first 3 albums taught us so much. When we first started we didn't have a bass player and 'Moz' just played bass on the Hammond. It's the blueprint for us.
1. 'Freak Out' by The Mothers of Invention (1966). I know it is a parody by Frank Zappa of the bands of the time, but it's the best. It's an album that has everything. It stays with you after the first time you hear it. Goes from absolute scary freak outs to Blues Psych. 'Help I'm A Rock' is an go to always. Love putting that on when with unsuspecting company...
MW: What did you think of the recent Brit Awards?
Chris 'Moz' Green: I didn't really watch it. You knew that Raye was going to win loads which is boss for her. But award shows are just the big music labels just pushing shoehorning their artist in. It's just a big advert now. It's too big, too monoculture for me. It's not what it used to be: I mean seeing Jarvis with Michael Jackson. That would never happen again, everyone is too well behaved at the award shows.
Dan Myers: I didn't even know it was on, in all honesty.
MW: Do any of you enjoy playing darts and, if so, to what degree / ability?!
Chris 'Moz' Green: Me and Luke are darts players. Luke is the better player, but I played a lot when I was a teenager, having a dart board in the house. Playing round the clock for years getting ready for the pub tournaments.
We played a lot when we used to work with each other. We worked with a fella who made his own darts out of m10 bolts and nuts, because modern darts were too light for him. It was funny to watch until he wrecked every dart board he used, and we got kicked out of pubs.
Luke's really good under pressure. I'm better after 4 pints.
MW: Who usually gets the beers in and what tend to be your tipples?
Dan Myers: We're pretty good at getting round in. Think it's Greg's next!
Chris 'Moz' Green: Dan's a Guinness drinker. Luke likes a heavy stout, Jays drinks cider, Greggs into Lager and 'Moz' is into red ale and Belgian bevys.
MW: What are MONDO TRASHO's plans for the rest of 2024?
Chris 'Moz' Green: We have a lot of tracks recorded that need mixing. We were very lucky to get sessions in the George Martin studio at LIPA with our mate Jamie Lindberg. It was a good experience but because life gets in the way its taken a long time to get each song ready.
Jay Muat: Release more songs, reach more people.
Mondo Trasho | Twitter, Instagram | Linktree
(c) Mark Watkins / March 2024.
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Original Song: Barbie’s Best Bet
The nominees are:
“The Fire Inside” from Flamin’ Hot
“I’m Just Ken” from Barbie
“It Never Went Away” from American Symphony
“Wahzhazhe (A Song for My People)” from Killers of the Flower Moon
“What Was I Made For?” from Barbie
This category upsets me most years, and this year is no exception. Why is “The Fire Inside” here other than to give Diane Warren a 15th Oscar nomination only to not have her win yet again? It doesn’t deserve to be here.
That being said, this year’s shortlist didn’t contain many gems, so it’s rather slim pickings. Notably, none of the new songs from musicals The Color Purple, Wonka, Flora and Son, and Dicks: The Musical made the final five, nor did other hopefuls like Olivia Rodgrigo’s “Can’t Catch Me Now” from the Hunger Games prequel or Lenny Kravtiz’s “Road to Freedom” from Rustin.
Instead, this year was all about Barbie. The prize will either go to “What Was I Made For?” or “I’m Just Ken.” The former, a Billie Eilish/FINNEAS collab is likely to win, especially after picking up the Golden Globe in January and the Grammy for Song of the Year in February. But “I’m Just Ken” has a lot of popular appeal and won the Critics’ Choice award, so it has some strong legs in this race. It may boil down to whether the Academy wants to give the O’Connells their second Oscar in three years. If that’s the case, Billie Eilish will become the youngest ever two-time Oscar winner.
There is an alternate reality where the two songs from Barbie split the vote, paving the way for a dark horse contender like Jon Batiste’s “It Never Went Away” or “Wahzhazhe” from Killers of the Flower Moon.
Who will win: “What Was I Made For?” from Barbie
But look out for: “I’m Just Ken” from Barbie
Who I’d vote for: “It Never Went Away” from American Symphony
If I could add one more: “Quiet Eyes” from Past Lives
◄ Previous: Original Score | Next: Original Screenplay ►
2024 OSCAR PICKS | FEATURES AND SHORTS: International Feature | Animated Feature | Documentary Feature | Live Action Short | Animated Short | Documentary Short | TRADE CRAFTS: Cinematography | Film Editing | Production Design | Costume Design | Makeup and Hairstyling | Sound | Visual Effects | Original Score | Original Song | TOP CATEGORIES: Original Screenplay | Adapted Screenplay | Supporting Actor | Supporting Actress | Actor | Actress | Director | Picture | TOP 10 FILMS OF 2023
#movies#Oscar picks#Oscars 2024#original song#Barbie#American Symphony#Flamin' Hot#Killers of the Flower Moon#Past Lives#Billie Eilish#FINNEAS#Jon Batiste#What Was I Made For#I'm Just Ken#It Never Went Away
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Degrassi Classic Characters as Bo Burnham Songs/Bits
by god have I been waiting for this one. I’m autistic and my my special interests are degrassi (duh) and bo so I’m beyond excited to be making this post
Joey- Oh Bo, High School Party, Improv, Left Brain Right Brain, I’m Bo Yo, Comedy, 1985
Wheels- Look Who’s Inside Again, Shit, All Time Low, Can’t Handle This, Eff
Snake- My Whole Family, Ironic, Theoretical Dick Jokes, Art is Dead, Sad, Poems, Unpaid Intern
Yick- I’m Bo Yo, Words Words Words, From God’s Perspective, Repeat Stuff, Flamin Hot Cheetos
Arthur- What’s Funny, Statistics, Nerds, Channel Five News, Lower Your Expectations, FaceTime With my Mom Tonight
Obviously I will add more and build on this post but this took forever so the very few people who understand this will have to wait a bit.
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9 YEAR OLD DREAMY WAS IN LOVE WITH GRAYSON??? i actually almost choked on air reading that because when i was 8-10 i had a phat crush on robin/dick from young justice season 1; this is so funny skdjfhj i think there's been a variety of fandoms i've been in but the dc + marvel ones were the longest. i also loved littlest petshop, gen rex, ben 10 etc. but my iron man craze was literally the worst. can you believe that i had all 44 iron mans (the designs) memorized by name when i was 12? it's absolutely mindblowing thinking of that for me, i can barely remember my friends' names now djdjfkfj also hiii hope you are having a lovely day today ❣️ the flamin' hot cheeto look was a really fun one, if i'm being honest and yes! changbin looks so nice with light hair... my favourite binnie remains go-saeng era bin though, the ash blue/grey hair and slight mullet suited him a lot! i personally love natural hair on everyone but my preferred hair colour has always been a deep purple, like the one minho had a while back! whenever any of my biases get the grape hair is when i think they look the prettiest⏤my favourite gem is amethyst and that shade reminds me of the geode a lot, especially once it starts fading towards the pastels, it's like it's fading from the crystals to the chalcedony :D others i love are silver/lychee hair, blueberry hair, peach hair etc. hehe oh you're so cute :c i am more of a person whose love language is acts of service + gift giving so i often end up remembering the most absolutely trivial things concerning my friends, which has extended to my biases jfkjkgjd a few things i associate with them is: the stars (cliche but i once heard someone say to another person that their freckles were like specks of stardust & constellations in the night sky somewhere and that stuck with me for felix once i saw him after that!), guitars, berries, bandaids, skateboards, cooking/baking, cats, trace chain necklaces, sweaters, garlic (LOL) and little envelopes! soem of these are things i've seen them with and the others are like. this will sounds so weird but what i smell/taste/feel/picture when i think of them? it only happens with a few people though and the funniest thing is my ult isn't one of them KLDJDSJ but yeah jeongin is the one with which it does happen! what's your favourite food? and what is some fun activity you'd like to try out with chan if you had the chance to? - 🌨
hi my love! sorry im always so swamped during the weekends im like brain dead lmao
omg young justice was SO good the fact that it got cancelled was such a crushing part of my childhood, it was so perfect but just cause girls liked it they trashed it :( i fully support u memorizing all of iron mans suits, i always go into fandoms like that lmao if i really like something i was to be an encyclopedia of knowledge on it. i used to be that way about lord of the rings but a lot of that info has absolutely leaked out of my brain since i was a kid so now it just pops up randomly and im like how do i know this still???
purple is ALWAYS such a good color, its so sad to me that chris had purple hair for liek a week because its always SUCH a pretty color and i agree it was ESPECIALLY amazing on minho for maniac era, it really suited him! i do wish minho got to have more hairstyles, i feel like he either gets a coconut or coconut but you can see his forehead lol and i think he could pull off anything so i always wonder why they dont really do anything else most of the time.
omg i love remembering little insignificant facts about ppl, i always find that those are the things that make people feel so loved. the amount of times ive gotten something or mentioned something to my best friend that i know she likes it always surprises her cause she doesnt even remember telling me the fact, but im like its about you so it was important to me to remember. I also love gift giving for that reason, cause im not someone to do something super big or elaborate, but i'll get a couple tiny things that i know mean something to someone or that really remind me of them and it always feels nice, like im sharing a piece of how i see them with them.
my favorite food is easily tacos lol i love tacos so much that my best friend has a taco tattoo for me! and i like all kinds of tacos from the garbage taco bell ones to really good authentic street tacos, just something about them i find really comforting I don't know lol but yeah theyre definitely my favorite.
oh god this is massively cheesy but if i could literally do anything with chris it would to be to drive to the middle of nowhere and go stargazing. like just forget everything else and just tell each other stories about the constellations with nothing else around to bother us. i think that would be the most ideal thing to me.
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New junk in stock at Slovenly USA!
Creepy old shit and contemporary crushers galore HERE!
Be sure to check out the repro 45s, too... four swingin' pages worth!
NEW ARRIVALS:
GEE TEE VEE "Halloween 21" 7" (b&w cover)
SPODEE BOY "Neon Lights" 7" (b&w cover)
3D & THE HOLOGRAMS "Promo" 7" (b&w cover)
BILLIAM "Turrets Over Craigieburn" 7" (b&w cover)
WIRE "154" LP
ASHLEY, GREG "Radio MDMA" LP
THE EX "Tumult" LP
THE FALL "A Part Of America Therein, 1981" LP
ERIK NERVOUS AND THE BETA BLOCKERS "S/T" LP
FLAMIN' GROOVIES "Shake Some Action" (GREEN vinyl) LP
VARIOUS ARTISTS "Brown Acid - The Thirteenth Trip" (RED vinyl) LP
LINDA LINDAS "EP" 12" (Random Colored vinyl)
VARIOUS ARTISTS "Born Bad Vol. 1 (Gatefold) LP
VARIOUS ARTISTS "Born Bad Volume Two" (Gatefold) LP
VARIOUS ARTISTS "Born Bad Volume Three" (Gatefold) LP
LOS DADDYS "Cumbia Kairo / La Cumbia Primero De Mayo" 7"
LOS DADDYS "Yo Soy Cumbiambero / Como Se Arma Una Cumbia" 7"
RICHMAN, JONATHAN "Want To Visit My Inner House?" LP
TURNER, OTHA AND THE RISING STAR FIFE AND DRUM BAND "Everybody Hollerin' Goat" (2xLP)
REDD KROSS "Neurotica" (Gatefold) (Turquoise/ Orange vinyl) 2xLP
VAMPIRES OF DARTMOORE "Dracula's Music Cabinet" LP
RIK AND THE PIGS "The Last Laugh" LP
TRAUMA HARNESS "Ten Years of Trauma" LP
AMYL AND THE SNIFFERS "Comfort To Me" 2xLP (Deluxe Ed.) (clear smoke vinyl)
WHIPPETS "S/T" 7"
GEE TEE "Atomic" 7" (repress)
SNOOPER "Snõõper" 7" (repress)
LIQUID LUNCH "Come Again" 7"
DADAR "Iron Cage" LP
BACK IN STOCK:
REIGNING SOUND "Abdication... For Your Love" LP
VARIOUS ARTISTS "Thai? Dai! (The Heavier Side Of The Luk Thung Underground) LP
BAGS "All Bagged Up" LP
GUN CLUB "Ruby Sessions" 7"
HONEYMOON KILLERS "Hung Far Low" LP
REDDA, TEWOLDE "Eritrea's Guitar Pioneer, 1970-73" LP
DIRTBOMBS "Ultraglide In Black" LP
CARBONAS "S/T" LP
OH SEES, THEE "Help" (Colored vinyl) LP
BB EYE "Headcheese Heartthrob" LP
CORMANS, THEE "Halloween Record W/ Sound Effects" LP
CRIME "San Francisco's Doomed" LP
DICKS "Hate The Police" 7" (Red/ Black split colored vinyl)
SHANNON AND THE CLAMS "Sleep Talk" LP (Colored vinyl)
#slovenlydistro#mailorder#records#vinyls#vinylrecords#7inches#7inchesrecords#45rpm#reigning sound#gun club#bags band#honeymoon killers#dirtbombs#thee oh sees#bb eye#shannon and the clams#tewolde redda#carbonas#geetee#dadar#liquidlunch#snooper#amyl and the sniffers#reddkross#losdaddys
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#049 Changing Your Codename
While your codename is undoubtedly an intrinsic part of your image, changing it is actually not all that hard to do. If you’re not trying to completely reinvent yourself by faking your death, moving, getting a new costume and starting over as a brand new person, changing your name is as simple as just letting people know that you’re the same hero, just with a new name. Call a press conference, disseminate a press release, post it on twitter, take out an ad in a newspaper that’s just a silhouette with the words “Who is the new mysterious Hydrosassin??” and then on the next page there’s a nigh identical ad except the silhouette is replaced by a full color picture of you with the words “Oh it’s just this guy!” Basically, changing your codename is easy peasy lemon squeezey. But why would a superhero ever want to change their highly recognizable codename? Well, there a dozens of reasons! And we’ve compiled a bunch of them just special for you!
Reasons You Might Want (or need) to Change Your Codename:
It’s been a while since anybody’s written a news article about you.
Another superhero started using your codename and everybody likes them better so they get to keep it!
Your new costume has different colors so you need to change the color in your codename to properly reflect this change.
The evolution of language has resulted in your codename now having unfortunate implications (This is why that detective who bursts into flames doesn’t go by “Flaming Dick” anymore).
You’ve received a cease and desist from a major corporation.
You discovered that you’re actually allergic to the animal you’ve named yourself after.
Somebody else owns the website domain name associated with your codename and it’s not a website you want people thinking you’re affiliated with.
You were recently cured of your colorblindness and realized that your costume was a different color than you thought it was.
It sounds inappropriate when said in certain accents.
The version of you that appears in sitcoms and cartoons is an absolute buffoon and you want to distance yourself from that.
You are addicted to holding press conferences.
You realized your codename implied that you had powers that you don’t actually have.
Your codename was way too long, especially for people to call out when they were in immediate danger so people would invariably call some other hero.
It tested poorly with focus groups for reasons they “couldn’t quite put their finger on.”
You lost the trademark.
It didn’t fit on your vanity license plate (and you can’t just take the vowels and spaces out of “Mister Boater”).
It was hard for songwriters to find rhymes for when they wrote songs about your bravery and heroism.
Your name was used as the title of a movie that wasn’t about you at all (not even a little bit!) but people still kept asking you about it.
You weren’t doing anything else today so why not.
It was too easy for songwriters and comedians to find rhymes for your name and they kept making mean rhyming songs and jokes.
A new AI helper was developed and it has the same name as you and now every time somebody calls your name dozens of devices come to life and say “How can I help you today?” and it is annoying.
You accidentally got your codename tattooed on your arm during a drunken night out and now, in order to prevent people from realizing who you are, you need to either change your codename or get the tattoo removed and removing tattoos is painful and expensive!
A terrorist organization started calling themselves by your name.
You lost a bet.
Some other guy bested you in combat and stole your name!
The actor who you were hoping would play you in the movie adaption of your life would only sign on if they got to choose a new, cooler, codename for you.
The toy company that you’ve licensed your image to for action figure purposes is forcing you to incorporate accessories and special features from your toys into your name. (That’s how Kung Fu Grip Star Breacher with Spring-Loaded-Missile-Launching Action! got his name, exclamation mark and all.)
You suffered severe head trauma and actually forgot what your old codename was and then when someone reminded you what it was, you thought it sounded stupid (and weren’t wrong!)
The animal you named yourself after went extinct.
You survived a traumatic incident and changed your name to show that the event had changed you.
You accidentally infiltrated an alien government and you had to change your codename to reflect your new rank as High Chancellor of the Blorp Emirates.
Science discovered a new species that you thought was super cool so you renamed yourself after it.
You lost one of your numerous extra appendages and you didn’t want to sound like a liar by still calling yourself Twelve-Armed Lady.
That username was already taken on Twitter and you weren’t about to call yourself Supah Warriah-2.
You suffered another freak lab accident and your mutant form changed dramatically so you decided to come up with a new name for it.
Your old one was too long to neatly write on “hello my name is” tags at superhero single mixers which are almost definitely a thing.
The first three letters of your codename were a bad word so every time you’d get a high score in a video game you’d be setting a bad example for the kids.
John Travolta mispronounced your name at an award show and you were too embarrassed to correct him so that’s your name now.
The ghosts of your ancestors came to you in a dream and told you that you were bringing great shame upon your family by going around with a doofy name like “Super Sprinkler,” or “Professor Paleontologist.”
Your name was too easy to spell and therefore easily googled and therefore everybody kept seeing that embarrassing video of you trying to arrest a fire hydrant you were 98% sure was an evil shapeshifter in disguise. (And it was an evil shapeshifter, it just didn’t reveal itself until after the cameras stopped filming!)
Every time somebody spoke your name out loud dogs vomited and you didn’t really know why that was but figured you were better off just changing your name.
You named yourself after the magical word that either powers you up or depowers you depending on what state you’re in so every time you introduced yourself to someone while in superhero mode you were instantly transformed back into a ten-year-old boy.
You’d just woken up from a coma and didn’t realize the name “Oprah” was already taken.
The person who was using the codename you really wanted died so now it’s just up for grabs!!!
You discovered a long lost super powered sibling and you were so overcome with a desire to be close with them that you guys went out and got new matching codenames.
Someone pointed out that your name spelled backwards read “All hail Satan Satan is great and he’s my best friend whom I love with all my heart” something which, somehow, you had never noticed before.
You got a fortune cookie that read “Hey! You should totally change your name! Erm, I mean. A great change will help you go far. Yeah, you get it. Lucky numbers: 8, 1004, -2, π.”
The “Director of Brand Reinvigoration Nation” that you hired off of Craigslist suggested a lot of stuff and “change your name and nothing else” was the easiest. (Other things included “star in a music video about soap,” and “create a third identity that is a villain.”)
A sick child used their wish to get you to change your name to something of their choosing.
You graduated from sidekick-hood and took on a new superhero moniker of your own.
You’re being blackmailed by a podium company into having numerous press conferences using their product as a form of free advertising.
You recently acquired a boat and needed to amend your name to add “captain.”
You recently completed your PhD and needed to amend your name to add “doctor.”
You came up with the name Brain Star before you started coming up with costume ideas and you understood that you couldn’t go around wearing a big “BS” on your chest.
The seasons change every four months! I change my name once in a ten year career and all of a sudden I have to explain myself???
Somebody bought you a gift card to a newspaper’s advertising department (a terrible gift by the way) and you don’t really know what else to do with it.
Your old name in sign language was a lewd gesture.
The name you originally wanted to use was deemed “way too cool for you” by your mentor but you just saved the world from alien werewolves from Jupiter’s moon so you felt that you’ve earned it now.
You didn’t like the way your picture turned out on your superhero team’s ID card and you figured if they were printing a new card for you anyway you may as well also change your name.
Someone triple dared you to change it.
An trans-dimensional imp placed a curse on you that made you speak entirely in song and at first you thought it was annoying but now you’re totally into it and so you’re really leaning into it and adding “:The Musical!” to the end of your name.
Thanks to the word of the day toilet paper your friend bought you (also a terrible gift) you’ve learned a bunch of cool new words that you want to incorporate into your codename.
You decided to take up a fallen hero’s legacy by taking on their name.
You’re a reformed supervillain who wanted to take on a new more heroic sounding name. (Killslaughter the Death Bringer is really more of a villain name.)
Somebody took you aside and gently explained to you why your codename was actually offensive to a group of people.
You met a version of yourself from an alternate reality and they had a way cooler name so you just adopted that.
You found a drawing you’d made as a child of yourself as a superhero complete with a codename you’d come up with and even though “Sir Gumball Man VII” is a stupid name you felt you owed it to your younger self to follow through on your dreams.
You misunderstood the public’s call for more transparency in superhero operations and changed your name to “Transparent Man/Woman/Person.”
People keep asking you if you were bitten by a radioactive version of the animal you’re named after. And you weren’t. The name comes from something else. You also can’t “do anything that [insert animal] can.” That Petey Parkour guy really ruined animal-themed names for everybody.
You wanted to change it to reflect the tips we featured in our post about codenames.
You thought of a really funny pun.
#comedy#humor#superhero#superheroes#how to#guides#codenames#names#superhero names#reasons to change your codename#Hydrosassin#Flamin Dick#he calls himself the Combustable Detective now#in case you were wondering#Kung Fu Grip Star Breacher with Spring-Loaded-Missile-Launching Action!#kung fu grip#Mister Boater#High Chancellor of the Blorp Emirates#Oprah#Twelve Armed Lady#Supah Warriah#Twitter#freak lab accidents#John Travolta#Super Sprinkler#Professor Paleontologist#evil shapeshifter#evil shapeshifting fire hydrants#embarrassing videos#dog vomit
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random text from Roy to Dick :
#that one Flamin' Hot Lay you just can't get over#lmao#RoyDick#Dick Grayson#Nightwing#Roy Harper#Arsenal#texting
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