#Evoke Software
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Evoke App Review – Earning Us $514 in Daily Profits
Welcome to my Evoke App Review Post, This is a genuine user-based Evoke App review where I will discuss the features, upgrades, demo, price, and bonuses, how Evoke App can benefit you, and my own personal opinion. A NEW AI App Turns ANY FaceBook™ Account Into A Set & Forget, $514/Day Machine In 45 Seconds Flat! Without Tech Skills, Followers or Any Previous Experience.
Social media marketing is always changing. and Facebook remains a powerful platform to connect with your target audience. But the struggle to organically attract followers and generate traffic can be daunting. Enter Evoke App, a software boasting the ability to transform any Facebook account into a traffic-generating machine. Through the magic of AI, Evoke promises to crack the Facebook algorithm and siphon free clicks without the need for technical expertise, pre-existing followers, or content creation. Sounds too good to be true? This in-depth Evoke App review will dissect its functionality, legitimacy, and potential benefits and drawbacks to help you decide if it’s the key to unlocking Facebook traffic dominance.
Evoke App Review: What Is Evoke App?
Evoke App positions itself as a revolutionary AI-powered tool designed to automate Facebook marketing. It claims to drive targeted traffic, bypass the algorithm, and generate substantial income for users with minimal effort.
However, there seems to be a lack of clarity regarding the specific functionalities of the app. While some sources suggest it integrates with your Facebook account and automates content creation and posting, others present it as a more general traffic generation tool.
Evoke App Review: Overview
Creator: Venkata Ramana
Product: Evoke
Date Of Launch: 2024-Apr-11
Time Of Launch: 11:00 EDT
Front-End Price: $17 (One-time payment)
Official Website: Click Here To Access
Niche: Software (Online)
Support: Effective Response
Discount: Get The Best Discount Right Now!
Recommended: Highly Recommended
Bonuses: Yes, Huge Bonuses
Required Skill: All Levels
Discount Code: “EVOKE4” Get $4 OFF Any FUNNEL
Refund: YES, 90 Days Money-Back Guarantee
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Evoke App Review: About Authors
Venkata Ramana is an expert software developer with a penchant for digital marketing. Venkata Ramana’s skills in AI and digital marketing culminated in the founding of Evoke, which aims to empower both individuals and enterprises.
His dedication to simplicity and accessibility is shown in the Evoke app user-friendly layout, which makes it ideal for users of different backgrounds. Individuals and businesses can easily improve their presence on Facebook by exploiting its Traffic, strength, acquiring followers, increasing interaction, and maximizing their effect without the need for ads or content development.
In addition to Tera App, Venkata Ramana built a reputation through a number of launches, including TeraApp, Nova, Ripple, Vista, Majestic, Olympus, Arrow, Evolve, Striker, Supreme, GolddRush, Pinnacle, One Minute Money, Mobile Moolah, and many others.
Evoke App Review: Features
Finally, Evoke Managed to Crack Open Facebook™ Algorithm
No Complicated Setup or Configurations Evoke Works Out Of The Box
It Doesn’t Matter. What Niche You Are In, Evoke Works Regardless
No Research Is Needed, And No Content Creation Is Required
90 Days Money-Back Guarantee
Evoke allows us to siphon thousands of clicks from Facebook™ for free
Never Pay For Ads And Never Write Any Posts For Facebook™ Again.
Evoke Turns All That Traffic Into Huge Paydays
Let Our AI Engine Exploit Facebook™ Algorithm For You
Sell Your Own Products, Affiliate Products, eCom, Or Anything You Want To Promote
ZERO Upfront Cost
Evoke App Review: How Does It Work?
It’s as easy as 2 clicks (resulting in daily visitors and sales).
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Evoke App Review: Can Do For You
AI-Powered Campaign Creation: Evoke boasts an AI engine that supposedly handles the heavy lifting. Users simply choose a campaign type (e.g., ClickBank, Solo Ads) and provide basic information like the affiliate link or website URL. The AI then allegedly crafts targeted campaigns designed to generate clicks.
Zero Technical Knowledge Required: Evoke positions itself as a beginner-friendly platform, eliminating the need for users to understand complex Facebook ad targeting options.
Multiple Campaign Types: The app reportedly offers various campaign options, including ClickBank promotions, Solo Ad integration, weight loss niche marketing, and Amazon product promotion.
Set-and-Forget Automation: Evoke promises complete automation after the initial setup. Once the campaign is launched, the AI supposedly takes over, optimizing and managing it for maximum results.
Transparent Performance Tracking: Users can supposedly monitor campaign performance through an in-app dashboard displaying metrics like impressions, clicks, and conversions.
Evoke App Review: Who Should Use It?
Affiliate Marketers
Artists/Content Creators
eCom Store Owners
Blog Owners
CPA Marketers
Video Marketers
Product Creators
Personal Brands
Service providers
Small Business Owners
Website Owners
Freelancers
And Many Others
Evoke App Review: OTO’s And Pricing
Front End Price: Evoke Core ($17)
Evoke OTO1: Unlimited Edition ($37)
Evoke OTO2: Done For You Edition ($197)
Evoke OTO3: Automation ($37)
Evoke OTO4: DFY Affiliate Funnels ($37)
Evoke OTO5: 25K Profit System ($37)
Evoke OTO6: Viral Plug & Play DFY Reels ($97)
Evoke OTO7: Kaboom ($37.97)
Evoke OTO8: Agency & Reseller Edition ($47)
Evoke OTO9: Bundle ($37)
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Evoke App Review: Special Bonus Bundle
My Special Bonus Bundle will be visible on your access page as an Affiliate Bonus Button on WarriorPlus immediately after purchase.
And before ending my honest Evoke App Review, I told you that I would give you my very own unique PFTSES formula for Free.
Evoke App Review: Free Bonuses
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If you think that crypto is a very risky business, then I’m sorry to tell you that you’re WRONG. We make $1,500 every time someone buys from our affiliate link…
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Why get $15 or $20 dollar commissions when you can get paid up to $5,000-$10,000 every time someone buys through your link? High-ticket offers are the fastest way to get incredibly wealthy — and finally be financially FREE. I’ve prepared a very interesting report where I’ll show you the exact step-by-step process that will enable you to take advantage of high-ticket commissions. It’s the Autopilot High-Ticket Commissions system! NOTE: This works like gangbusters if you combine it with Olympus.
BONUS #9: “1-WEEK MOOLAH” Worth $97, yours FREE
A while ago one of my students came to me and confessed that he was strapped for cash. I decided to send him a copy of the 1-Week Moolah system and, predictably, he succeeded in less than 7 days without.
A list
Any type of startup cost
Writing content
Spamming the heck out of Social Media
It’s simple: The 1-Week Moolah system is designed to generate results quickly, without hassle or delay. It’s not a substitute for a 6-figure business, but surely it can help you recapitalize yourself if you’re strapped for cash!
BONUS #10: “TRAFFIC HIJACKER” Worth $97, yours FREE
This is the first time I have decided to share this secret traffic method with the general public. The reason? This is a bit controversial, but it works SO well that sometimes I get emails from my hosting saying “too much traffic is coming in”!
I always laugh. But don’t worry, this clever traffic method is 100% white hat and legal! If you’re constantly struggling to generate consistent visitors, I’m sure that once you dive into this eye-opening report, you’ll be shocked. You’ll be armed with the knowledge of knowing HOW to unleash a storm of targeted traffic that will make you endless commissions!
Evoke App Review: Demo Video
Just Watch The Evoke App Demo Video Down Below To Get All The Details:
Click Here Watch Demo Video
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Evoke App Review: Money Back Guarantee
Our 90 Days Iron Clad Money Back Guarantee
Look, Evoke isn’t one of those “trash” or untested apps. We are aware of what it can do. We do ask that you send us an email if you fail to use Evoke for any reason, which is very rare. To put it simply, we don’t want your money if you don’t make money. Our earnings from Evoke are more than enough. Keeping your money is pointless if you’re not going to use it. Not only that, but you can still use Evoke if you change your mind. We have a lot of faith in our app. You get Evoke and don’t make any money, which is the worst case. It’s totally free.
Evoke App Review: Pros and Cons
Pros:
Simplified Setup: Evoke streamlines campaign creation, potentially making it easier for beginners to get started with Facebook Ads.
Time-Saving Automation: Automated features can save time for busy marketers managing multiple campaigns, freeing them to focus on strategy.
Potential Traffic Boost: Effective AI targeting could lead to a significant increase in website traffic or lead generation.
Cons:
You cannot use this product without an active internet connection.
In fact, I haven’t yet discovered any other problems with Evoke App.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ’s)
Q. Do I need any experience to get started?
None, all you need is an internet connection. And you’re good to go
Q. Is there any monthly cost?
Depends, If you act now, NONE. But if you wait, you might end up paying $997/mo It’s up to you.
Q. How long does it take to make money?
Our average member made their first sale the same day they got access to Evoke
Q. Do I need to purchase anything else for it to work?
No, Evoke is the complete thing. You get everything you need to make it work. Nothing is left behind.
Q. What if I failed?
While that is unlikely, we removed all the risk for you. If you tried Evoke and failed, we will refund you every cent you paid and you will get to keep your copy
Q. How can I get started?
Awesome, I like your excitement, all you have to do is click any of the buy buttons on the page, and secure your copy of Evoke at a one-time fee
Q. How can I get started?
Awesome, I like your excitement, all you have to do is click any of the buy buttons on the page, and secure your copy of Evoke at a one-time fee
Evoke App Review: My Recommendation
Evoke App offers a simplified entry point to Facebook advertising, particularly for complete beginners. However, its limitations in user control, transparency around the AI algorithms, and potential for inflated expectations make it a gamble. Consider your marketing goals and experience level. If you prioritize a hands-on approach and optimizing campaigns for long-term success, exploring established Facebook advertising strategies might be a more sustainable approach. On the other hand, if you’re a complete beginner seeking a trial run with Facebook ads, Evoke could be a starting point, but temper expectations and be prepared to learn more in-depth strategies for long-term success.
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Check Out My Previous Reviews: AI Doodles Review, NewsCaster Ai Review, ATOMIX Review, WebCon Review, Elite AI Suite Review, InFlux AI Review, HostsMaster Review.
Thank for reading my Evoke App Review till the end. Hope it will help you to make purchase decision perfectly.
Disclaimer: This Evoke App review is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Before making a purchase decision, we recommend conducting your own research and exploring the software.
Note: Yes, this is a paid software, however the one-time fee is $17 for lifetime
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Can you share what your art-making process is? What software and tools do you use?? I'm falling in love with your work!!
Thank you, I'm so happy you like my work and are interested in the process. The short answer is I mostly use Adobe Animate.
I hate how I'm using an Adobe product (although I still regard it as a MacroMedia Flash product), but there's just no other software that compares to its jankiness. Perhaps it's just my long familiarity with the program, but nothing I've experienced matches how it simultaneously feels like drawing in MS Paint and using Microsoft PowerPoint vector shapes. The result is something that feels in-between the two; handmade yet computer-generated.
Typically, I'll start with a hand-drawn sketch, often beginning as a thumbnail done with pencil and paper.
I'll then do a mix of hand drawing and vector shape tool rendering. I use the Paint Brush tool to hand draw strokes, and the line and shape tools mixed with transform to make more geometrically accurate shapes. The design is rendered into divided closed loop shapes, ready to be filled with a solid. The strokes are kept or removed depending on the design.
These fill shapes are then either coloured and rendered in Adobe Animate, using fills, gradients, or a more complex process of masks and effects.
Alternatively, I'll bring all these vector shapes into Photoshop and use them as clipping masks. The vector shapes act like masking taped areas or shields to maintain sharp edges, while the brush is like an atomized airbrush used to build soft volumed forms.
Please excuse all that horrible Adobe Cloud and AI bloatware...
And there we go!
Variations in the process include just using MS Paint, index color in Photoshop, or 3D programs.
Very old works of mine were almost abstract, just exploring digital mark-making, which was a trend I was following in the mid 2010s that I loved. This kind of stuff.
While my current work uses its digital material specificity as an intermediary to the subject in the illustration.
For example, #ersatz.world parodies clip-art and flash edutainment styles but imagines the characters living within that kind of world. The designs are meant to be cute, easy to read, light in computer processing, but also irreverent, janky, and generic too.
People typically regard this sort of clip art style as ephemeral trash, but I always found them charming. I use Ersatz World primarily as a satire vehicle, parodying educational formats to spoof corporate explainer content and digital media.
However, part of the problem with Ersatz is I've made it look too polished, complex, and I've grown too attached to the characters, which I imagine is a typical issue with overbuilding a world. So recently, I've made an even jankier Ersatz-like set of characters to play about with, using an even simpler style with less cohesion. I like to try and use slightly different styles and digital material styles to relate to the property at hand.
That’s why #autonymus has a bitmap digital material and a denser feel to it. Unlike Ersatz, Autonymus is not meant to be an overt semi-meta fiction. It’s not exactly pixel art, but the pixels are just about visible, as the intention is to create a digital expressionist depth to the setting. Although it’s still stylized and not realistic to our world, I definitely still want to evoke semblances of our world. That’s why there’s attention to landscape, plant life, and implied life beyond what you see in the frame with the characters, etc. But I'm still making a cartoon, and I still want it to feel at ease with itself being a digital material work. Characters are therefore flat, simple, stiff, and the speech style is like a bad Shakespeare parody. I like to balance between ugly and appealing, simple and complex, familiar and unfamiliar.
In regard to things like inspiration, references, and my relationship to aesthetic genres; these things certainly factor into my work, perhaps I'm even overtly dependent on them. My work can definitely be post-modernist in method; creating new, ironic, or fragmented interpretations through deconstructing a mix of various styles or methods. But at the same time, I'm still trying to make a digital gestural representation where the aesthetic is driven by my relationship to the software and techniques directly—not simply in an attempt to reference a style. For example, I like drawing lines in sweeping strokes, not to a point of geometric perfection, but just in a way where the curves are smooth and simple. But if I want perfectly curved or straight lines, I'll use the vector tools.
Working this way, you can sort of learn why certain styles and design choices in past vector aesthetics were made, as they would have also needed to make similar choices. That’s why I’m more mindful of using digital material specificity as a foundation to build narrative and subjects upon these days.
For example, genre references like cyberpunk clichés for #cyberhell or late medieval design for #autonymus or 2005 to 2015 era subculture fashion for #gradientgoblinz.
I think it’s important to take inspiration and reference from a wide variety of sources, but I think they’d mean nothing without having something to say or express. Autonymus, although it is a collection of tropes and clichés, isn’t just about that. It’s a story about the tensions of socially constructed systems and how that shapes faith, technology, and the natural world, or at least that's what I'm aiming for anyway.
But despite all that, I think there’s a danger of locking myself into the past by using these methods. For example, using nostalgia and references to past aesthetics can result in just recreating the past in a form of role-play. To avoid that, I try and evoke the past through a messy, inaccurate pastiche rather than caring to accurately re-enact anything. I’m probably not always successful at communicating the deliberateness of this, and it can certainly get very frustrating and pedantic. To be honest, I do kind of hate aesthetic labels (terms like Y2K, global coffee house, utopian scholastic designs from a pre-9/11 world).
I do not believe that a project aimed solely at mapping history through aesthetic styles is worthwhile. Sure, they can be handy for organizing style trends, but they can also be reductive and ahistoric. Who are these people to define the history of these design eras? The result is a kind of suffocating simulation of design history but removed from context, perfect for moodboardism. I wish it felt more tongue-in-cheek, less absolute of itself in its own practice. Instead, it acts to legitimize and engender those making these labels, almost giving them ownership of the design styles. It’s similar to the logic and process of generative AI and its databases in a way, just done manually.
I’m very inspired by artists like Oneohtrix Point Never in this regard, as I think he’s able to create an aesthetic portal to all kinds of memories, feelings, and worlds reminiscent of the past, while still being in the present. It’s more a reflection of how timelines are messy now, like a memory or dream, rather than an audacity to say the past was actually like that, or to try to actually map some kind of timeline.
I think the benefit of this process is how it avoids the other side of the spectrum—being locked into chasing the cutting edge of digital processes. I don't necessarily think using an old digital process means your work inherits the semiotics of old aesthetics. Non-digital mediums don’t have this issue to this degree, as you can still paint in oils and be considered contemporary, or at least it's not frowned upon to such a degree. And I also don't think anyone in the heyday of Flash ever made work the same as I do, especially as computers are more powerful now so can handle more. I probably shouldn't boast too much about that though, as artists at the time probably just had more sense than to use Flash like a painting program! So then, why is my use of Adobe Animate critiqued as obsolete and an aesthetic dead-end? Because to whose standards is this process obsolete? If you value digital aesthetics as an apparatus in industry practice, then sure, my work is redundant.
But as wonderful as the latest tech can be in creating new aesthetics, I do feel it can be overtly dependent on the trends and directions of tech corporations, and therefore act as an indirect propaganda tool to their hegemony over digital aesthetics, such as the ever-demanding processing power needed for simulated realism. If anything, work that does follow in the direction of the latest tech trends is ironically the quickest to date once the trends move on.
I've noticed I've not really described what my work is about, just the process, in this text. But I don't know, maybe I like Flash because it is regarded as redundant. No one really cares about it, so I feel free to make whatever I want, and can decide on form myself, to my own standards, the quality of my work. As fun as making images is, I find it difficult to put into words what it is exactly I'm expressing in my work, and perhaps that would spoil it anyway.
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What does Pluto in the first house mean in astrology?
In astrology, the placement of Pluto in the first house of a birth chart is significant and can influence various aspects of an individual's personality, behavior, and life path. Here are some key interpretations of Pluto in the first house:
Intensity and Magnetism: Pluto in the first house intensifies the personality and presence of the individual. They may possess a magnetic and powerful aura that draws others to them. This placement suggests a deep, transformative energy that can impact both the individual's life and the lives of those around them.
Self-Discovery and Transformation: Individuals with Pluto in the first house often undergo profound personal transformations throughout their lives. They may constantly seek to understand themselves at a deep level and may be drawn to psychological introspection and self-analysis. This placement indicates a journey of self-discovery and empowerment through confronting and overcoming personal challenges.
Charisma and Magnetism: Pluto in the first house bestows a strong sense of charisma and personal magnetism. Others may find them intriguing and captivating, but they may also evoke feelings of fear or intimidation due to their intense presence.
Power Dynamics and Control: Pluto's influence in the first house can manifest as a desire for control and power in personal relationships and situations. Individuals with this placement may have a strong will and may seek to exert influence over their environment or the people around them. They may also attract power struggles or intense dynamics in their relationships.
Rebirth and Regeneration: Pluto symbolizes the principle of death and rebirth, and its placement in the first house suggests a theme of regeneration and renewal in the individual's life. They may experience significant endings and beginnings that lead to profound personal growth and transformation.
Psychological Depth and Insight: Individuals with Pluto in the first house tend to have a deep psychological insight and may be drawn to the study of psychology, occultism, or other esoteric subjects. They may possess a keen intuition and a penetrating understanding of human nature.
Intensity in Relationships: In relationships, individuals with Pluto in the first house may experience intense and transformative dynamics. They may be drawn to partners who challenge them on a deep emotional level, and their relationships may involve themes of power, control, and psychological depth.
Overall, Pluto in the first house symbolizes a powerful and transformative presence that shapes a person's personality, relationships, and life journey. It is important to consider this position in the context of the entire birth chart for a comprehensive understanding of its effects. For which you can use Kundli Chakra Software 2022 Professional.
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So I spent a chunk of today very confused as to why this photo affected me so much. Why is Rhys, as Stede, in this photo, so dopamine inducing?
I’m a Quality Assurance Specialist / Software Developer by day, so I HATE not understanding how things work, and I thought, “Why not look at smaller pieces of it, one at a time to see what it’s made of?”
I decided to start on the light side of his face.
On this side you can see the signature smirk, and the sparkle in his eye. The foreground is lit and the background is bringing your eye towards the stairs, which triggers the imagination, because where does it go? Does he want you to go with him?
That’s the first thing I think that I realised made this photo so enticing to me, it’s not just a picture of Stede, it’s a picture of Stede with the promise of going somewhere with him. Somewhere you don’t know. He’s looking directly at the camera, and he’s grinning, and he’s focused on YOU.
Add to that-- bedroom eyes at their finest.
Moving on to the dark side of his face:
The tone has completely changed. Without the smirk, he looks confused or almost uncomfortable/nervous. The vein in his neck is tightened, and the adams apple looks like he just swallowed air, the eyebrow, not coupled with the smirk is furrowed slightly.
Now, in general I’d just like to shout out how amazing his facial range is, that Rhys can have two sides with different expressions. His physical comedy and acting is always so impressive to me. He must have cheek muscles for days. Moving on.
Back to the right side for a moment, but not the eyes. I’m convinced in some weird part of my brain that he’s got hypnotic powers in them because they always make me swoon, but I digress (really I think it’s just he uses his expressions to the fullest, and people can smile and provide intent with their eyes).
ANYWAY— both sides of the smirk are visible and so both parts look positive again, both look well meaning and playful. The view of the right cheek (his left) is really pronounced, so you can really tell he’s not just smirking but smiling, so it's a more intense look.
The arm position is more provocative, once again, shoulder and elbow directing your eyes to the stairs.
Provocative, as well, because of the hint of a bare chest. Strings as opposed to thick fabric in general seem to evoke more of a sexual intent (thongs, bikinis, etc). Like one pull of a string away and the whole thing will unravel. Again, enticing and suggestive.
Alright, on to the other arm. I didnt go into it much in the last picture of this side because I feel like his face distracts from the body language (because his face distracts from everything!). The shoulder is peaked, which even though he’s reaching up, gives off that feeling of a shrug which in itself can be suggestive if delivered in the right context.
The part that really stands out to me though is the fingers in the tassel. As we’ve seen in some of his other movies, and the scene at the restaurant before they run off, Rhys has purposeful but gentle finger movements— much like Stede's general personality.
Example 1: Love Birds
Example 2: Coconut Stede - GIF by bizarrelittlemew
They really are a tease. So much so that I've considered doing another appeal to the court, this time regarding Rhys’ slutty fingers, but I digress.
You can't see the tips of his fingers in the shot with the tassel, but it’s the reaching, and the obviously delicate touch that once again adds to the whole awkward yet suggestive nature of his arm.
Next up, no hands or elbow, just lower left jaw and chest. I mentioned previously that the vein in his neck looks tense. Without the eyes to provide context, it does look like he’s maybe a bit nervous.
From there, follow the line from his nose all the way down. Nose, to smile lines, to neck vein, which lines up perfectly with the seam in his shirt, which then draws your attention several ways, to the arm, down the shirt to the belt, or down the collar to the strings in the bare chest. That vein connects everywhere else together. We may not recognise it consciously, but these lines in photos and drawings can really make a difference in tone and intent.
Now after all that, time to go back to the face, this time framed a bit differently. Full Rhys headshot without the dark background with the stairs.
This shot, without the rest, looks much more confident to me. Less suggestive, and more haughty which I feel like is his signature captain look.
Please reference anytime he's in the English uniform, good lord.
A fun little extra thing, in this shot you can see the ring, bright gold, and it matches his hair. Harder to see that in the other shots because there’s too much else going on.
So, overall, this BTS photo is just generally phenomenal. It keeps the most important thing, Stede, lit and in the forefront but leaves trails for where your eyes should wander.
I think the reason this picture affects me so viscerally is because of the pure chaos of feelings in it. You have Confident Stede, Delicate Stede, Nervous Stede, Suggestive Stede, Playful Stede, Kind-eyed Stede, and it’s very much so much about the viewer. He’s looking at YOU, not at the person taking the picture. He’s expressing all those emotions at YOU. YOU are being offered to take his hand and go up to the dance and who knows where else. When I say "YOU", I mean Ed really in this context, but YOU get to feel like Ed for a bit in this photo.
You get to feel that goofy, accepting, loveable man dote on you, even for just a moment. For me personally, I've been starved for a long time of emotional affection, despite being married, and this kind of a glimpse into what Ed can and does experience is both tortuous and incredibly encouraging. It brings hope, and joy, and is just all around absolutely glorious. Thank you Samba and the rest of the bts crew that keep sharing these amazing glimpses of heaven.
#ofmd#our flag means death#stede bonnet#gentlebeard#rhys darby#ofmd bts#how can i get any work done when rhys darby exists#thank you samba#totally normal for rhys darby tumblr association
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Android Girl by DECO*27 is, in a weird way, kinda the definitive Miku song for me. That might be controversial given like... World is Mine and Melt and Miku Miku Ni Shite Ageru and Miku Anamanaguchi exist, but I feel like Miku has absolutely grown into something beyond what those songs alone convey.
For starters, just on an aesthetic level, Android Girl is about an android girl. Obviously there's symbolism to that and whatnot but it immediately touches on the fact that Miku is a software; herself, an "android girl" in a way.
But obviously the song isn't really about an android girl as much as Tokyo Teddy Bear isn't about a literal plush toy. Android Girl seems to be depicting some type of troubled relationship dynamic, and this is kinda one of the things I personally associate with Miku as a comparative newcomer to the fandom: dark meaning hidden beneath a cute anime aesthetic. What Android Girl does is manage to balance the appeal of "dark undertones" and "cute anime aesthetics" all tied with a very Vocaloid-adjacent software-flavored bow of sorts. The MV displays this balance expertly, in my opinion:
It's cute and expressive while still having a muted color palette (notably punctuated by jarring pinks and reds which only further evoke that feeling of passionate emotion in a bleak situation) and soulless, suffocating backgrounds; you could simultaneously believe this was just a cute song about a robot girl, which is evocative of older depictions of Miku, AND that there's something a bit darker beneath this. The key here is also that it doesn't swing too far in either direction: "this song is about a troubled relationship" isn't as dark as something you'd find in an average Kikuo song but it's also a few steps beyond Miku singing about vegetable juice or being the princess of Earth.
Sonically, it's a fairly typical DECO*27 song, but one has to remember that DECO*27 is an absolute titan of a vocaloid producer whose sound may as well be synonymous with Miku herself.
youtube
Now I definitely wouldn't say it's my favorite Miku song by any means, hell I don't think it even makes my top 50 and it's not even my favorite DECO*27 song, but it's definitely a song I find extremely synonymous with the appeal of Hatsune Miku in the current day, and it fills all of the Miku-shaped holes in my heart all at once. Android Girl may not be the greatest or most influential Vocaloid song, but I definitely find it to be a fascinating product of so many different aspects of Vocaloid simultaneously that I think it's always gonna be one of the first songs I personally think of when I think about Vocaloid.
#and to be clear I like the light hearted vocaloid songs too#they don't all gotta hide a dark meaning of some kind that'd get so boring#vocaloid#android girl#deco*27#hatsune miku#Youtube
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Cracked teacup ⅏ Wilbur Soot x Reader
Summary:
Y/N have eating disorder, and she try so hard to fight but not all days all good. Will see that and try help her every day. But one day she feels like she is a problem. That she is problem for Will and she try leave him but after really sad talk she understand that she is sick not broken.
She is darling, not problem.
Notes:
Hey Mate!!!
I’m Peter and I say right away that English is not my first language.
I’m curious to hear your opinion about this work in the comments!
Enjoy!
The story features:
- Eating Disorders
- Attempted self-harm
𝕋he door swung open, a warm, yellow light spilled into the room, casting a cozy ambiance that seemed to beckon people inside. Will sat comfortably in front of his desk, engrossed in conversation, when Y/N entered the room. She leaned in, her gaze sweeping over the man's computer monitor, hoping to catch a glimpse of the software he used for his work, but all she could see was Discord. Will chuckled and leaned back, his eyes closing as his laughter subsided. He let out a quiet yawn, stretching his body, a testament to the disrupted sleep schedule that working on the internet and enduring quarantine had imposed on them.
With his eyes still closed, Will continued to speak, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. "But I'm absolutely certain that at the next MCC, we won't be teamed up together." Sensing Y/N's presence, he opened his eyes, noticing her standing there. "Y/N, is something wrong?"
"Y/N? Who's that?" one of the people in Will's Discord call chimed in with curiosity. "Do you have a girlfriend? Or is it a boyfriend?" he added playfully after receiving no immediate response.
"Tommy, let Wilbur answer. Mate, take your time," the oldest voice interjected, chuckling softly into the camera, while they observed Tommy crack open yet another can of Coke for the day.
"Y/N, do you want to talk to us?" Will asked, motioning for her to come closer. Y/N settled on the floor, resting on her knees next to Will's chair. "Hey, sit on my lap or go grab a chair. You shouldn't be sitting on the floor. I honestly can't remember the last time we vacuumed in here," he remarked, swiveling his chair to face her. Prompted by his suggestion, Y/N rose from the floor and perched herself on his lap. She positioned one earphone in her ear and was immediately greeted by two energetic voices and one subdued ‘bruh’.
"Y/N, are you Wilbur's girlfriend? I didn't know he had someone. He doesn't strike me as the boyfriend type," Tommy commented, taking a sip from his Coke.
"You, Tommy, seem like you never leave your room," she teased the boy, causing him to choke on his drink.
"WHAT! I don't leave my room! Look at this!" Tommy pushed his chair away from the desk, revealing his backpack adorned with symbols from The Legend of Zelda hanging on the door. He flung the door open abruptly and exited the room. Standing in the hallway, he shouted towards the microphone, "I'm leaving the room! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pee." He then made his way back to his computer, only to notice the muted microphone icon next to his webcam a moment later.
"So, Will has a girlfriend. Pog!" exclaimed the sleepiest voice in the conversation, the only person with their camera turned off.
"Seriously, I thought you were single, Will," remarked the blond man.
"Y/N and I are together," Will responded, turning his gaze toward the woman on his lap. "Since September last year, right?" He gently stroked her back as he sought confirmation.
"Yes, September," Y/N nodded, a warm smile directed at her boyfriend.
"Indeed, it was September. Just a few days before the new semester started, I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend," Will recounted, prompting the sleepy voice to chime in.
"And what was her answer?" the voice queried.
"Is that sarcasm, Techno?" Will asked, looking directly into the camera.
"Me and sarcasm? Bruh, never," Techno replied, evoking a slight chuckle from Y/N.
"I replied with a 'yes,' but with the condition that I could use his computer for my university work," Y/N interjected, glancing at one of her open notebooks on the desk.
"And yes, She do use it, but I won't complain because she bought the RAM herself, so it's our computer," Will added, gesturing subtly.
"But truth be told, I didn't come here to interfere with your--" Y/N began to speak, but was swiftly interrupted by Will.
"You never interfere," he interjected, his words carrying a playful undertone.
"Perhaps," Y/N responded, stealing a quick glance at the monitor. "Do you want coffee?" she inquired, rising from Will's lap.
"Coffee no, but tea if I can." he replied, slipping the earphone back into place.
"Green or black?" she queried, opening the door and awaiting his preference, receiving a nonchalant shrug in response.
𝕃eaning her hips against the kitchen island, Y/N's gaze lingered on the kettle, its slow boil promising a comforting cup of tea for both her and Will. As she waited, her thoughts wandered to the fact that Will hadn't revealed their relationship to his friends. They had made a mutual decision to keep their love private, well-aware of Will's growing popularity and the scrutiny that came with it.
Being an online example of the "perfect boyfriend," they both wanted to shield their relationship from potentially uncomfortable comments or unsolicited opinions. Y/N understood the need for privacy but couldn't help but wonder why Will hadn't mentioned her to his friends yet.
In the evenings, when she couldn't watch Will's streams directly, Y/N would often tune in on her phone, secretly observing him from the periphery of his online world.
She would wear her headphones, discreetly completing chores around the house while listening to his voice and enjoying the sense of connection. Occasionally, she would even bring him a drink or a snack, making sure to stay out of the camera's frame. It was her way of showing support and being there for him, even if he was unaware of her presence.
𝕋urning her attention back to the task at hand, Y/N reached for the box of teas and selected two green tea bags. As she held them in her hand, a memory resurfaced—a previous evening when they had enjoyed the same tea after a delicious dinner. A smile tugged at her lips as she reminisced, "That dinner Will made for us on our last date was incredible... I regret eating so much... If I hadn't indulged, we might have had leftovers for the next day too..."
Placing a tea bag into each mug, Y/N turned once again and cast her gaze upon the shelf above her. "That dinner tasted reminiscent of the one we had at a fancy restaurant for New Year's. It had a similar flavor..." She opened the cabinet, revealing her reflection in the glass. Her thoughts drifted, "Thank goodness I've stopped overeating... I've actually lost weight, quite a bit. But I still have these big thighs..." She reached for the honey, contemplating her body image as she prepared the teaspoons.
Suddenly, the sound of the kettle clicking off jolted her from her reverie. She blinked, surprised by the abrupt interruption, and hurriedly prepared the cups of tea. Pouring the hot water over the tea bags, she couldn't help but wonder why Will hadn't acknowledged the changes she had gone through. 'Why hasn't he said anything yet?" she silently questioned herself, a hint of sadness creeping into her thoughts. "After all, the differences are noticeable. I've lost weight. I'm thinner..." Tears welled up in her eyes. "Maybe he has noticed but just didn't mention it? It's Will, he's not the best at expressing things like that..."
Chuckling softly, she recalled the early stages of their relationship when Will struggled to reply to even the simplest text messages. Wiping away a stray tear, she decided to distract herself by delivering the freshly brewed teas to their shared space. She walked towards the bedroom door, opening it, and then retraced her steps back to the kitchen to retrieve the beverages.
"𝕐es! And then she looked at me with such a smile, you know, 'maybe we should go back now'. Oh! I'm just talking about our New Year's date," Will recounted with a wide grin, his voice filled with fondness, as Y/N entered the room. Seeing her, he quickly cleared some space on the desk to make room for the teas. Y/N couldn't help but admire his radiant smile and felt a surge of gratitude that this remarkable boy had chosen her. Being with someone like Will felt like a true blessing.
"Thank you, darling. Another half hour, and then we can go to bed," Will said, his eyes fixed on Y/N as she returned with the honey. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, and she accepted it with a smile.
"Simp," teased Tommy's voice through the earphones, causing Will to turn towards the screen even though he couldn't see it.
He knew immediately that Tommy was the one who had made the comment.
Y/N interrupted the momentary silence, requesting to turn off the camera so she could change. Will nodded, and his webcam transformed into a rectangle with his icon at the center.
"Thank you," she expressed, taking a small sip of her tea. She then walked over to the wardrobe to retrieve a t-shirt and shorts. Despite being in the middle of a call, Will's attention was captivated by Y/N. He smiled as he watched her begin to undress, and for a brief moment, their eyes locked. Will moved his mouse and glanced at her once more.
"You look beautiful," he complimented, his smile revealing genuine admiration.
However, his expression suddenly shifted from joy to a perplexed grimace that was difficult to interpret. "Can you turn around for me?" he asked, gesturing in a circular motion with his finger. Y/N's heart fluttered at the thought that Will had finally noticed her weight loss. There was a reason she had chosen to change in the bedroom instead of the bathroom tonight.
𝔸fter two spins, she faced her boyfriend, searching his eyes for signs of approval or perhaps even excitement. But Will's demeanor had changed. His grimace had transformed into a neutral face with a tinge of sadness in his eyes.
"You're skinny," he commented, breaking the uneasy silence.
"Have you noticed? Yes, I know my thighs are still large, but look at my belly and arms. See how I've lost weight," she responded excitedly, turning around again and pointing out the different areas of her body. Yet, her enthusiasm seemed to fall flat in the face of Will's subdued reaction. His neutral expression remained, and his gaze held a sense of concern.
"Are you starving yourself?" Will asked directly, his question lacking any concern for its potential insensitivity. "What you're doing isn't healthy," he added, removing the earphone from his ear as if needing to detach himself from the conversation.
Y/N felt a surge of mixed emotions. "But I don't feel bad. I mean, I could still lose more weight, but for now, it's okay. I'm not starving myself, but I am consciously limiting my food intake," she explained, hoping to convey her perspective.
"So, you are starving yourself," he stated more confidently, rising from his chair. Y/N shook her head, feeling overwhelmed by the weight of the discussion. Despite Will towering over her, she could feel his concerned gaze encompassing her. In a hurried attempt to shield herself, she swiftly put on her nightshirt.
Will's expression didn't reflect anger or disappointment; instead, it bore a profound sadness that tugged at Y/N's heart. His gaze was heavy with worry, and she could sense that he genuinely cared for her well-being.
"You hear yourself?" Standing up from his chair, Will's confidence grew as he confronted the situation head-on.
𝕎ill's concern for Y/N's well-being grew more pronounced as he continued to question her about her eating habits. He mentioned her previous episode of fainting, which she attributed to a lack of fresh air. However, as he probed further, asking about the last time she ate, Y/N's uncertainty became evident.
Y/N paused, her mind searching for an answer. "Yesterday... or before yesterday, I'm not sure," she finally responded, her voice betraying her uncertainty. She quickly added, "But it feels good. And I'm not starving myself, but I am limiting my food."
Will's confidence grew as he confronted the reality of the situation. he looked at her with a mix of concern and determination. Overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, Y/N shook her head, feeling a wave of emotions crashing over her.
Will's expression, however, didn't display anger or disappointment as she had anticipated. Instead, his gaze held an unmistakable sadness. It was clear that his emotions were deeply rooted in his genuine care for her.
Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she reached out, her vulnerability laid bare. "Will, I didn't realize... I didn't realize you felt this way. I thought... I thought you would be happy for me," she managed to say, her voice quivering with raw honesty.
𝕋he room was dimly lit, casting a somber atmosphere upon the scene. He entered slowly, his footsteps barely audible against the creaking wooden floor. With a heavy sigh, he settled himself on the edge of the bed, facing her. The dynamics had shifted, as she now stood taller than him, both physically and metaphorically.
"What you're doing isn't healthy," he spoke softly, concern etched in every word. She met his gaze momentarily before averting her eyes, unable to hold his penetrating stare.
"How long?" he continued, his voice filled with a mix of worry and curiosity. "How long... have you been limiting your food?" His eyes never left her, searching for answers hidden within the depths of her soul. She glanced at him fleetingly, her gaze shifting away once more, as if trying to escape the weight of the conversation.
"I started back before the pandemic started," she murmured almost inaudibly, her words carrying the weight of a confession. He couldn't bear to see her struggle alone, and in an instant, he pulled her closer, holding her waist firmly as she stood between his legs. Pressing his face against her stomach, he whispered words of concern and love.
"Do you really feel okay?" he asked, his voice tinged with urgency. "I'm not asking if you feel good about what you're doing. I'm asking if you feel good about this body you have now." His forehead rested against her belly, shielded by the fabric of her t-shirt. Her trembling hands found solace in his brown hair, hidden beneath a cozy beanie. Though she couldn't see his face, she knew his eyes were fixed on the floor, wide with a mixture of sadness and desperation. She bit her lower lip, her gaze lingering on the top of his head.
"Do I feel good?" she pondered silently, a torrent of conflicting thoughts flooding her mind. "No, I could be thinner... No... That's not true... I don't want to be thinner. I want to be slim. But I didn't want to see my ribs," she confessed inwardly, her hands tracing the contours of her torso, skimming beneath her breasts. "I didn't want to feel my ribs. That wasn't my goal."
ℍer legs gave way, collapsing under the weight of her emotions. She curled into herself, folding her body and clutching her knees to her chin, seeking comfort and protection. In that vulnerable moment, she uttered a feeble, 'no.’ Will's hand found its way to her head, his touch offering solace and reassurance. Her voice grew stronger as she repeated her denial, leaning into his leg for support.
"I don't want to force you to do anything," he spoke gently, his voice laden with empathy. "But I will try to help you, okay? Baby, look at me." Tenderly, he lifted her chin, revealing her tear-streaked face.
Will's own eyes welled up with tears, mirroring the pain he saw in hers. "I love you, and I will help you, but you have to want my help too," he implored, his voice trembling with emotion. Another tear escaped her eye, joining the stream down her flushed cheeks. With a slight nod, she rose from her hunched position, seeking solace in his warm embrace.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice laced with regret and vulnerability.
ꝋ
Y/N's senses were awakened as the aroma of the simmering soup wafted through the air, drawing her closer to the pot. "It smells beautiful," she commented, her voice filled with a hint of anticipation. "And it probably tastes just as good." Her words lingered for a moment before she reached for a wooden spoon from the nearby counter, gently stirring the contents of the soup.
"Yes, tomato soup. Probably one of the easier soups that will always smell good," Will remarked, emerging from the bedroom. "Once the pasta is done, we can eat." As those words left his lips, a slight faltering of her smile betrayed an inner struggle. However, she joined Will on the couch, both of them engrossed in their phones, immersed in a shared silence.
"Look at this!" Will's voice broke the tranquility, snapping Y/N out of her trance. She locked her phone and shifted her attention to her boyfriend's screen. "How cute," he commented, awaiting her reaction.
The image displayed a red cereal box, with the white head of an incredibly fluffy cat poking out, its large, endearing eyes capturing their attention. "Imagine. You open the cereal and... Boom! there is a cat. Do you complain or keep the cat to yourself?" he pondered, placing the phone on the coffee table.
"Complain, but keep the cat to myself," she responded, setting her phone down alongside his. Will erupted in laughter at her answer, rising from the couch.
"I'd love to have a cat, but I know I'm not responsible enough," he confessed as he made his way toward the kitchen.
Y/N observed his back as he deftly handled the pot, shaking his head in slight dismay. He moved towards the sink, preparing a strainer before returning to drain the cooked noodles. With deliberate care, he placed the strainer on top of the pot, allowing the residual water to drip away. Retrieving two bowls from a high shelf, he poured the noodles evenly into each, then walked over to the table, ensuring the pot rested on a placemat to protect the surface.
He glanced back at Y/N, a warm smile gracing his lips. "Would you bring the bowls and ladle?" he asked, pulling out a chair. Y/N nodded, rising from the couch, but her sudden movement caused her to stumble slightly, catching her balance just in time.
"Are you okay?" Will's concern was evident as he prepared to rush to her side, ready to offer support in case she felt faint.
"Yeah, I just got up too fast," she reassured, her step now more confident as she made her way into the kitchen. Will leaned against the dining table, his gaze fixed on Y/N as she approached, clad in one of his cozy jumpers. She placed both bowls on the table and settled herself in one of the chairs.
Will, still standing, poured himself a serving of soup, flashing her a gentle smile before pouring a slightly smaller portion for her. With a swift turn, he carried the pot away.
Y/N's eyes remained fixed on the soup before her, watching as the light pasta gradually sank into the vibrant red liquid. She observed a few scattered spices floating in her bowl, seemingly captivated by the swirling mixture.
𝕋he soup became her entire world in that moment, its presence overwhelming her senses. She felt her hands grow clammy, the room seemingly growing hotter. Perhaps it was the heat emanating from the oven, or maybe it was her own heightened stress. A dryness crept into her throat, urging her to eat, yet her trembling hands could not grasp the spoon. Opening her mouth felt impossible, and despite the enticing aroma, tears welled up in her eyes.
"Hey! I've been asking for probably two minutes if you want cream in your soup," Will interjected, crouching down and discreetly gripping Y/N's thigh beneath the table. His concerned gaze met her flushed face. She nodded, unable to tear her eyes away from the soup's captivating presence. "Everything okay?" he inquired; his voice filled with genuine worry. Once again, she nodded, her focus unbroken. "Do you want sour cream?" he asked, raising an eyebrow slightly above his glasses.
Another nod confirmed her desire.
Will straightened himself, taking her spoon and squinting at the box of cream. After a brief contemplation, he dipped half of the spoon into the container, carefully placing it in the soup and giving it a light stir. The cream detached from the cutlery, floating to the surface amidst the sea of noodles. A delicate dance of red stains adorned its creamy surface. Will took his seat across from Y/N.
"Enjoy," he said, taking the first spoonful of soup. "As always, no particular taste," he jested, attempting to lighten the atmosphere before proceeding to eat in a more conventional manner.
Time passed in measured bites and sips, their silence punctuated only by the comforting sounds of spoons clinking against bowls. Will's presence beside her served as a reminder of the unwavering support he offered, his presence offering a quiet reassurance amidst her inner turmoil.
𝕋he atmosphere in the room suddenly shifted, the once pleasant ambiance now invaded by a cacophony of intrusive thoughts and harsh voices that reverberated through Y/N's mind. The relentless chorus of self-criticism and fear echoed loudly, drowning out any semblance of peace or enjoyment. The voices seemed to merge into a distorted symphony, each one demanding, pleading, and accusing in equal measure. It was a relentless battle within her own head, a war waged between her desires and the suffocating grip of her inner demons.
'Eat!' 'He made it for you!' 'Why aren't you eating? Don't you like his cooking?' 'Eat!' 'He spent two hours on it!' 'Why aren't you eating! You're hungry!' 'Move that hand!' 'Take a spoon and eat!' 'At least get your hands out from under the table and put them on the counter!' 'Eat!' 'What's wrong with you!' 'Yes, don't eat starve yourself to death!' 'Just because you don't eat won't make you skinnier!' 'Will won't love you if you don't eat it!' 'He'll leave you if you don't eat this soup!' 'Eat this soup!'
'EAT THE SOUP!'
"𝕀 can't, I’m sorry," Y/N finally managed to utter, her voice tremulous and fragile. She instinctively moved away from the table, unintentionally bumping into Will, who had been silently observing her, his touch offering a silent source of comfort. He winced in pain but refused to release his hold on her, his arms enveloping her in a protective embrace. Sensing her distress, he nestled his face in her hair, a gentle gesture of understanding and reassurance.
"I'm sorry."
"Shhh... It's okay," he whispered softly, his cheek resting on the crown of her head. With tender movements, he caressed her shoulder and the back of her head, seeking to provide solace in the face. "Eat at least one spoon, please. If you want, you can run to the sink and spit it out. Please try," he pleaded, his voice barely audible, as if imparting a secret shared between them alone. Y/N reluctantly turned her gaze back to the bowl before her.
'I can escape. But I have to try it first.' she thought, her hand trembling as she cautiously lifted a spoonful of soup. Will watched her movements attentively, his face still buried in her hair, his touch a constant reminder of his unwavering support. As she leaned forward to bring the spoon to her lips, she felt Will subtly shift, hiding his face completely in her hair while continuing to stroke her locks. Tears clouded her vision, the vibrant colors of the soup melding with her emotions. A few strands of pasta seemed to blend seamlessly with her blurred surroundings.
She opened her mouth, closed her eyes, and before her taste buds could register the flavor, she swallowed, her eyes clenching shut even tighter as she stifled a sniffle.
Returned the spoon to the bowl, her hand instinctively moving to cover her mouth. 'Really good soup.' she thought, sensing the faint taste that lingered. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but with Will's comforting touch still resonating, she reached for another spoonful, her movements slightly more determined this time.
𝕆nce again, she brought the spoon to her lips, her mouth poised to swallow the contents. Yet, in a sudden surge of awareness, she snapped her eyes open, tearing herself away from Will's embrace and rushing to the kitchen sink, forcefully expelling the food from her mouth.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she repeated, her words punctuated by a slow, faltering retreat to the floor behind the kitchen island.
Will glanced at the spilled soup on the table, the chair, and the growing soup pool on the floor. A quiet sigh escaped his lips as he approached Y/N with measured steps. Crouching beside her, he eventually settled into a seated position, gently pulling her body closer to his, enveloping her trembling form in a tender embrace.
"It's okay. You've tried, and that's what matters. You didn't run away. You gave it a chance, and I'm proud of you. Truly, I am," he murmured, his voice a soothing balm amidst the chaos.
Will buried his face in her hair once more, his gaze fixated on the expanding stain on the floor.
"I love you, no matter what. I'm proud of you," he reiterated, his eyes closing as he focused on the warmth and love that radiated from the woman in his arms.
ꝋ
Y/N sat on the plush couch, contemplating the enticing idea of ordering a pizza. It had been quite some time since she had indulged in this guilty pleasure. As she embarked on her journey to embrace a healthier lifestyle, pizza had become a distant memory, a forbidden delight. But tonight, a spark of rebellion ignited within her. She yearned to break free from the shackles of her strict diet and indulge in the sheer joy of devouring a slice of cheesy, saucy goodness.
With a mischievous grin, Y/N grabbed her phone and tapped open the pizza delivery web. The tantalizing aroma of freshly baked dough, zesty tomato sauce, and a medley of delectable toppings began to fill the air, even if just in her imagination. The mere thought of sinking her teeth into a warm, gooey slice of pizza sent waves of anticipation coursing through her veins.
As she scrolled through the myriad of options on the app, her mouth watered at the sight of the different crust styles, from thin and crispy to thick and doughy. The toppings seemed to jump off the screen, tempting her taste buds with their vibrant colors and enticing flavors. Pepperoni, mushrooms, bell peppers, and the ever-popular extra cheese—it was a paradise of pizza possibilities.
But as excitement coursed through her, a subtle voice of doubt crept into her mind. 'Should I really do this? Will it undo all the progress I've made? Can I truly allow myself this indulgence?’ Her conscience waged a silent battle against her desires, tugging her back towards the path of discipline and control.
Denying herself the simple pleasure of a pizza would only fuel her cravings and dampen her spirits. It was time to embrace the joy that food could bring, to revel in the sensory experience of savoring every bite without guilt or regret.
Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she read the series of messages from Will. A mixture of relief, worry, and anticipation swirled within her. The initial fear of abandonment slowly faded, replaced by a sense of understanding and empathy. She realized that unforeseen circumstances had delayed his return, and her mind's worst-case scenarios had been nothing more than needless worries.
'I'm going to be late Uber cancelled my ride. You can go to bed.'
send 23:22
A smile played on her lips as she absorbed the reassurances in Will's messages. The warmth of their shared moments, captured in the wallpaper image, resonated within her. It was a reminder of the love they had built together and the strength of their connection. She felt a surge of gratitude for their relationship and the unwavering support they offered each other.
'I'll probably walk back.'
send 23:30
With a renewed sense of calm, Y/N placed her phone back on the kitchen counter and returned to the cozy embrace of the couch. The aroma of the freshly baked pizza still filled the air, providing a comforting backdrop to her thoughts. She knew that soon, Will would walk through the door, bringing with him the familiar presence that brought her solace and joy.
'I'm next to Sussex Square, I'll be in a few minutes.'
send 00:13
As she patiently waited, the minutes ticked by. Each passing second seemed to draw them closer together, erasing any lingering doubts or insecurities. The anticipation of being reunited, of feeling his warm embrace, and of sharing the simple pleasure of pizza together, filled her with a deep sense of contentment.
'I won't go to sleep until you're next to me in bed'
send 00:23
𝕋he minutes ticked by, she found herself drawn back to her phone, eager to read the last message she had received. Ten minutes had passed, and curiosity tingled in her fingertips as she reached out to grasp the device. With bated breath, she unfolded the message and absorbed its contents, her eyes scanning the screen with intent. Satisfied, she enabled the notification sound, placing the phone gently on the table before retreating back to the comfort of her couch.
Sitting there, her gaze wandered to the pizza box perched on the coffee table. Its tantalizing aroma permeated the room, tickling her senses and beckoning her closer. It had been ages since she had felt such a pang of hunger. An internal debate ensued as conflicting thoughts danced in her mind.
The chorus of self-doubt echoed within her: 'You'll gain weight.' 'If you eat pizza, Will may not return home.' 'If you give in and savor that cheesy delight, Will might turn his back on you.' Overwhelmed by uncertainty, she curled her legs and nestled into the couch, surrendering to its warmth, lulling her back into the realm of sleep.
Suddenly, a voice shattered her reverie.
"I'm back!" the familiar sound reverberated through the room, the volume heightened with excitement yet devoid of a scream. Y/N swiftly straightened up, her gaze fixated on the figure that had just entered through the front door.
Will, with his shoes and jacket still on, approached her with purpose. As he neared, his hand reached out, gently cupping her cheek, the tenderness of his touch causing her to lean into it instinctively.
Their eyes locked, and a surge of affection surged between them. In an act of love and longing, their lips met in a soft, lingering kiss. The sweet taste of their connection mingled with the air, creating an atmosphere of shared adoration. As they pulled apart, Will's voice broke the silence, his senses now attuned to a familiar scent.
"Do I smell pizza?" he queried, his curiosity piqued. Y/N couldn't help but smile, her heart swelling with warmth.
"Yes," she replied, her voice filled with both satisfaction and anticipation. "I ordered it to be perfect at midnight and it was, it can be a little now..." Before she could finish her thought, Will interjected, a hint of hunger and vulnerability evident in his words.
"I'm sick to my stomach. I haven't eaten since I left. Well, except for a few fries. But all we did was drink," he confessed, a touch of remorse coloring his tone. Without hesitation, he lifted the lid of the pizza box, revealing a mouthwatering ensemble of pepperoni slices. A mixture of surprise and delight danced across his face. "Pepperoni! What a smart woman you are," he praised, his eyes meeting hers.
𝕊eating himself at the table, Will beckoned Y/N to join him. With a wistful expression, she approached, her hunger momentarily overshadowed by a tangle of emotions.
"I'm not hungry," she admitted softly, her voice laced with a hint of apprehension.
Undeterred, Will reached out with his foot, nudging her chair gently. "Come on," he urged, his eyes brimming with affection. "This will be our little date." His words carried a subtle plea, a desire to reconnect, to bridge the distance that had lingered between them.
Her reservations slowly melting away, Y/N yielded to his persistence and eased herself into the chair. She looked into Will's eyes, searching for answers, for reassurance.
A myriad of emotions swirled within Y/N as Will once again urged her to heed the desires of her stomach. The rumbling of her body, a sound that had slipped past her awareness initially, resonated once more, reminding her of its longing.
"Your stomach says differently," he playfully remarked, an undertone of mischief lacing his voice. "You want to. I mean..." With a brief scratch of his neck, he sauntered over to the fridge, retrieving two bottles of water. With a heartfelt conviction, Will offered a gentle solution to Y/N's hunger. He settled himself in the chair next to her, his eyes fixed on her intently. As he flipped the pizza box, their eyes met, and a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
"I can feed you," he offered, a tenderness resonating in his voice. Y/N gazed back at him, her words momentarily halted as he placed a finger against her lips, his touch igniting a delicate spark within her.
Y/N found herself captivated by his presence, her gaze drawn to his every movement. In one smooth motion, his hand cupped her chin, his thumb lightly grazing her lower lip. Their connection was electric, tangible in the air as he leaned in, their lips finding each other once more. Soft murmurs escaped his lips, filled with adoration. "You are so beautiful," he whispered, their shared breath dancing between them. "But we will save these caresses for the bedroom after we eat." As he pulled away, confusion flickered in her eyes, her mind grappling with the sudden shift in the conversation.
Taking a deep breath, Y/N mustered the courage to express her thoughts. "Will, I..." Before she could continue, his finger pressed gently against her lips, effectively silencing her. His touch sent shivers down her spine as he watched her reaction, his head resting against his palm.
Words of love spilled from his lips, their sincerity unmistakable. With a tender caress, he brought their lips together once more, a promise of the passion that awaited them.
Yet, as he pulled away, his eyes met her confused gaze, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her features. Two slice of pizza remained, an oversight that had gone unnoticed until now. Y/N held the slice in her hand, her eyes shifting to Will, who raised an eyebrow ever so slightly.
"Are you drunk?" she asked, her gaze averted from the tempting food before her.
𝔸 knowing smile tugged at Will's lips, amusement dancing in his eyes. "A little, perhaps, but I'm not so drunk that I don't understand what's happening," he assured her, his fingers reaching for another piece of pizza. "If you threw the ball at me, I think I would catch it without a problem." His playful remark elicited a laugh from Y/N, a shared moment of levity amidst their complexities.
"You think?" she quipped, her tone teasing yet filled with curiosity. Will's laughter resonated through the room, harmonizing with the joy that swelled within him. However, his amusement waned as he observed Y/N chewing thoughtfully, savoring the flavors of the food. He remained captivated by her actions, his mind consumed by the simple act of her eating.
'She's doing it. She's eating! She! EAT!' Will's thoughts reverberated with an unexpected intensity, his focus laser-sharp despite the effects of alcohol. Every movement she made held his attention, fueling his quiet laughter. The realization that she was taking pleasure in the food before her brought him an immeasurable sense of delight.
With a lighthearted chuckle, Y/N attempted to bite off a string of stringy pizza cheese, her laughter ringing through the air. The sound lifted the room, a symphony of joy that transcended any lingering doubts or fears. In that moment, they were simply two individuals, reveling in the simple pleasure of shared laughter and a meal enjoyed together.
Amidst the infectious atmosphere, Will found himself compelled to express his emotions. Putting the edge of the pizza back into the box, he turned his attention to Y/N, their eyes locking once again.
"I love you, you know?" he confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability. Yet, as he awaited her response, her eyes conveyed more puzzlement than a resounding affirmation of love.
ꝋ
Y/N's attention briefly shifted to the surroundings of their flat. Mirrors were scarce, only finding their existence in a few select areas—a bathroom mirror, a cabinet mirror in the hallway, and perhaps a couple of small mirrors in eye shadow sets. The absence of mirrors in their living space added a certain mystique, as if it were a deliberate choice to escape the constant reflection and self-scrutiny that mirrors often invited.
However, there was one particular incident involving a mirror that Y/N couldn't forget, one that added a touch of ambiguity to the atmosphere. It happened on a day like any other when she returned from a shopping excursion, masked and laden with bags. As she closed the front door behind her, a jarring sound sliced through the air—a sharp crack of shattering glass. Momentarily taken aback, she tried to piece together what had just occurred.
With a sense of urgency, she hurried into the bedroom, her eyes widening in disbelief at the scene before her. Will stood there, a hammer in hand, nails gripped between his lips, and shards of broken glass scattered across the floor.
"It was an accident. I'm alright," he assured her, his voice laced with sincerity. "I was trying to hang a map."
Y/N's gaze shifted between the shattered mirror and the spot on the wall where a map once hung, a sense of skepticism creeping into her thoughts. The distance between the wardrobe door, where the mirror had been, and the wall seemed far greater than what was necessary for hanging a map. Even if Will were visually impaired, the disparity was significant enough that he wouldn't have accidentally struck the mirror. Doubt began to nibble at her mind, casting a shadow over his explanation.
Moreover, Y/N couldn't shake off the fact that breaking a mirror required a significant amount of force. It wasn't a mere tap or accidental bump that would cause such destruction. She had witnessed enough mirror mishaps in the past to know that intentional or not, the act of shattering glass demanded a deliberate, powerful impact. The pieces of the puzzle didn't quite fit together, leaving her questioning the true nature of that event and the intentions behind it.
The unanswered questions swirled within her, a silent tension permeating the air between them. Yet, in that present moment, as Will professed his love, uncertainty mingled with her emotions. She looked at him, her eyes reflecting both her love for him and the underlying doubts that had taken root within her.
It was a moment of internal conflict, the clash between the affection she held for Will and the nagging suspicion that something wasn't quite as it seemed.
𝕀n the intimate confines of her humble flat, devoid of a large mirror, she still sought solace in the reflective surface of her bathroom mirror. It was a quiet hour, displayed plainly on the screen of her phone - 02:34, a testament to her ongoing battle with insomnia. As she stared at the glowing digits, her voice filled the silence. "I really should fix my sleep schedule," she muttered to herself, feeling the weight of exhaustion and restlessness.
A sigh escaped her lips as she decided to undress, shedding the stolen shirt she had been wearing, a subtle reminder of Will's presence in her life. In the privacy of her bathroom, she examined herself with a mix of curiosity and self-critique. Her gaze drifted downwards, drawn to her own breasts, once comfortably held by bras that now seemed two sizes too big in the wake of the pandemic's toll on her body. A shake of her head expressed her dissatisfaction as she delicately unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor with a soft rustle.
Her hands found their way to the waistband of sweatpants, skillfully peeling them off in a single fluid motion, leaving her standing there in nothing but her panties and a pair of white socks. She studied her own figure, searching for signs of change and imperfection.
Her fingers roamed over her stomach, grappling with a sense of disappointment.
Her eyes then wandered to her thighs, which appeared disproportionately large to her, and further up to her breasts, which now appeared smaller and less appealing. Her arms appeared slender, almost too thin, and her shoulders elicited a touch of unease, their structure feeling too masculine for her idealized feminine image.
ℂompelled by an unyielding desire to scrutinize herself, she approached the mirror with measured steps, locking eyes with her own reflection. Her gaze was immediately drawn to perceived flaws, amplifying her self-criticism. She fixated on her eyebrows, deeming them less than perfect, and cast a critical eye towards the persistent bags beneath her weary eyes. Her attention shifted to her lips, her lower lip slightly more plump than she desired, while her upper lip seemed disappointingly thin. Her cheekbones, in her opinion, lacked the defined contours she longed for. Each flaw magnified in her perception, feeding her insecurities and deepening her self-doubt.
Stepping away from the sink, she sought a fuller view of herself in the mirror, her reflection capturing her entire figure from head to knees. In that moment of self-judgment, she uttered the harsh words aloud, condemning herself.
"You're disgusting,"
The words slipped from her lips, filled with a mixture of self-loathing and despair.
In that fragile moment of vulnerability, her gaze inadvertently fell upon Will's razor, its presence within reach. A dark notion, like an intrusive whisper, insinuated itself into her consciousness. She possessed an intimate knowledge of its workings, having observed Will's grooming rituals firsthand. The location of his razor blades was etched in her memory, an awareness that beckoned her closer to the edge of her own despair.
With a mixture of apprehension and determination, she approached the sink with a purposeful stride, the drawer containing the razor blades beckoning to her. As she slowly pulled it open, a pristine white and green box revealed itself, housing individually wrapped blades nestled in white paper.
She counted them with a sense of foreboding, realizing that there were twenty-one, indicating that Will had recently opened a new box and inadvertently left behind the remnants of the previous one. A spark of justification flickered in her mind.
"He wouldn't have noticed," she whispered, convincing herself that she could discreetly borrow one and replace it without detection.
Her confidence emboldened, she reached into the box with a steady hand, her fingers grazing the packaging of a single razor blade. But as she glanced once again at her reflection, it felt as if an unknown presence within the mirror nodded in agreement, silently urging her forward.
ℍer decision solidified, and she withdrew a packet, swiftly closing the drawer to sever any lingering doubts.
In her hand, she held the razor blade, its surface untouched and gleaming under the unforgiving bathroom lights. A profound question echoed in her mind, as she contemplated whether this razor blade encapsulated her entire world.
A resolute nod, as if answering an unasked query, escaped her lips. Her conviction deepened, her fingers securing their grip on the blade, furrowing her brow as she realized the urgency of choosing a suitable location.
Her thoughts raced, weighing the options. She couldn't bring herself to carve into her arm, not with the summer heat making concealment impossible. The visibility of her thighs, shoulders, and belly would surely raise alarms in Will's observant eyes. The pressure to find an inconspicuous spot intensified, until a rash and violent impulse guided her hand. With an unsettling determination, she placed the razor blade against her own neck, poised on the precipice of an irreversible act.
Her thoughts raced, weighing the options. She couldn't bring herself to carve into her arm, not with the summer heat making concealment impossible. The visibility of her thighs, shoulders, and belly would surely raise alarms in Will's observant eyes.
The pressure to find an inconspicuous spot intensified, until a rash and violent impulse guided her hand. With an unsettling determination, she placed the razor blade against her own neck, poised on the precipice of an irreversible act.
'What?'
'No.'
'I' Don't want to.'
"I don't want to!"
𝕀n an act of defiance, her voice rose, shattering the suffocating silence that enveloped the room.
"No!" she exclaimed, her words filled with a mix of determination and desperation. The razor blade slipped from her grasp, crashing onto the hard floor with a resounding thud that seemed to reverberate through her entire being.
A surge of adrenaline coursed through her veins as she swiftly covered the fallen object with her foot, as if seeking to stifle its presence, to drown out the clamor that threatened to consume her.
Her gaze locked with the glinting metal, the razor blade's surface seemingly alive, fixated on her like a formidable opponent in the midst of an unspoken battle. They engaged in a silent dialogue, their connection charged with an inexplicable weight, as if this encounter held the weight of the world.
A humorless laugh escaped her lips, tinged with a bitter irony. "He he..." she chuckled, the sound choked and strained. "Since I can't cut myself because Will would notice.... In that case, I don't want it. I don't know how to do it." she admitted, her voice laced with a mixture of relief and uncertainty.
Lowering herself to the floor, she huddled into herself, her knees drawn up, her gaze still fixated on the razor blade. Visions flashed through her mind, dark and haunting, as she imagined running the sharp tool across her body. In each scenario, Will's piercing gaze intercepted her actions, unleashing a torrent of anger and anguish. Yet, despite the vividness of these mental images, she found a glimmer of self-preservation, a thread of resistance that refused to be severed.
With a gentle touch, she retrieved the razor blade, her fingers lingering upon its sleek surface.
𝕎hy did the blade appear to bear a twisted smile, a sinister allure?
It was an unsettling sight, a reflection of the dangerous path she had narrowly averted. Closing her eyes, she summoned her remaining strength, releasing the blade from her grip. It cascaded into the waiting embrace of the toilet bowl, accompanied by the sound of breaking water, sinking slowly to the bottom. The pristine white water, once a symbol of purity, now mirrored the discord within her soul. A conflicting mix of relief and regret washed over her, as the swirl of emotions settled.
As she pressed the flush, watching the spiraling water carry the once-menacing metal away, a sense of calm seeped into her bones. It was as if the act of release, of letting go, brought her closer to a fragile peace. Nodding to herself, she returned to the sink, her eyes landing on the discarded clothes that served as a reminder of the dark moments she had just transcended. A soft chuckle escaped her lips, filled with a newfound lightness.
"It's time for a change," she whispered, tossing the garments into the waiting basket of dirty laundry.
𝕆nce again, she confronted her reflection in the mirror, her eyes red and swollen from the torrents of tears that had washed over her. An unspoken question lingered in the air, as she gazed at her own disheveled appearance. "Why are we crying? Why?" she uttered softly, her voice tinged with a fragile vulnerability.
Seeking solace, she found herself crouching once more, her hands clutching the edges of the sink for support.
"Everything is okay. Yes, that's all," she murmured, attempting to reassure her weary heart, to convince herself that she had made the right choice.
After a prolonged moment of introspection, she straightened her posture, deftly slipping her phone into the pocket of her pajama shorts. Casting one last glance at the mirror, she took in her disheveled hair, her eyes hollowed out by grief, and the trails of tears etched upon her cheeks.
"You're the problem," she whispered, the words a firm declaration, directed not at her own reflection, but at the inner demons that had sought to ensnare her.
ꝋ
𝔻espite waking up feeling low, Y/N's eyes fluttered open as she felt a gentle kiss on her forehead. The sight that greeted her was Will, his morning hair in disarray, his rosy cheeks accentuating his slightly sleepy eyes.
"Good morning, love." he greeted her, his lips curving into a warm smile. Their eyes met, and both of them felt a tender connection in that simple exchange. "I made us breakfast," he added, straightening up to take a seat. Y/N propped herself up on her forearms, the covers already pushed aside, and Will's cool touch adjusting her rolled-up t-shirt.
"Did you sleep well?" she asked, allowing him to guide her to the dining room table. Will pulled her chair back and gestured for her to sit.
"Yes, quite well, actually. I think I fell asleep right after we finished." he replied with light laught, making his way to the kitchen counter. "I made scrambled eggs for us." He handed plates and cutlery to the table, and Y/N couldn't help but express her surprise.
"Oh, thank you!" she exclaimed, her voice laced with genuine appreciation. Will's thoughtful gestures never failed to warm her heart.
"Would you like tea or strong coffee?" he inquired, his gaze fixed on her silhouette as she stared at the plate with a hint of suspicion. "Y/N!" he called out, breaking her trance.
"Sorry, I was just lost in thought," she replied, flashing a smile in Will's direction. Instantly, his smile mirrored hers, the connection between them growing stronger. "What you say?" she tilted her head, curious.
"Tea or coffee?" he repeated, pouring a cup for himself. With a nod of confirmation, he began preparing his own coffee. Retrieving his mug, he turned his attention back to Y/N. His gaze shifted to her body, and a peculiar request escaped his lips. "Can you take your shirt off?"
𝕊urprised, she looked at him, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Will crossed his arms over his chest, his expression turning more serious than thoughtful. Arching his eyebrows in anticipation, he waited for her response.
"What?" she asked, clutching the edge of her shirt. "Why?" she asked, holding the edge of his shirt.
"Just want to see you," he answered, disregarding the coffee machine's signal that the coffee was ready.
"But you saw me last night," she pointed out, her hands clasped together tightly.
"Okay," she relented, seeing Will turn his back to retrieve his mug and carry both cups to the table.
"Thank you," she whispered as she watched him return to the kitchen. Y/N observed as he picked up a pan and simmered, carefully placing eggs onto it. His gaze lingered on the empty pan, contemplating something. 'How do I ask...?' he wondered silently. Shaking his head, he set the pan aside and walked back to the table, taking a seat and gripping his fork.
"That's too much," she finally spoke, taking a deep breath and lifting his gaze to meet hers. Embarrassment and affection intermingled as he beheld her.
Will took a deep breath, lifted his gaze. He looked at her embarrassed face 'Even when I'm angry I see beauty in her.' "I'll eat what you leave," he added, taking a sip of his tea. Y/N looked at him with a look as though he had just uttered the most heartfelt sentiment.
"Thank you," she whispered, reaching for her fork and taking the first bite of scrambled eggs. Will observed her, his own portion forgotten momentarily, as she savored each morsel slowly.
𝕋his morning, the tall brunette ate an extra portion. Y/N watched as he finished her, placing his plate atop his own. In one swift motion, he consumed the last of his tea.
"Can I ask you a question? Just a simple question, and I want a simple answer. Do we understand?" he asked, setting his cup down and gazing at Y/N with a serious expression.
"Okay," she nodded, her heart pounding, saliva diminishing. 'Is he going to break up with me?' she worried.
"What did you need a razor blade for?" he inquired; his tone laden with concern.
"What?" she asked, taken aback by the unexpected question.
"What the hell did you use a razor blade for?" he pressed, furrowing his brows, a touch of anger causing the nerve at the corner of his mouth to twitch and his left nostril to wrinkle. Retrieving a slightly bent white square from his pajama pocket, he exclaimed, "Bloody hell! Why did you need it? You didn't take it yesterday, and it's not the paper I left either!" He let out a breath, staring at the ceiling momentarily before composing himself.
𝕌nclenching his fists, he gently unfolded his hands, placing them on the table. "Sorry for raising my voice," he apologized, his gaze lifting as Y/N's muscles tensed, attempting to shrink away.
"I... I..." she stammered, her voice barely audible amidst the silence of the room.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice. It's just... Y/N, why did you do it?" he asked, looking at her intently.
"I didn't do anything," she replied, her voice barely a whisper, as if afraid of making any noise that might disturb the atmosphere. "What do you mean?" he inquired, extending his hand for her to grab.
"I wanted to, but I gave up. I threw it in the toilet. You can check. I can undress. I didn't do anything. I really didn't. Seriously," she explained, reaching for his hand at the end of her statement, but he abruptly turned it over. Surprise flickered across her face.
'He doesn't trust us.'
ꝋ
"𝕐ou crossed me and that's what's going to happen to you dude." she could hear Will live in the other room. For the first time since she had supported Will in his passion, in his internet work - she has no desire to watch her boyfriend play.
For the first time she didn't want to watch him.
"Everything is okay!" she raised her voice just enough to ensure it wouldn't reach the other room. She entered the bathroom, avoiding her reflection in the mirror as she undressed, preparing to step into the shower. With the water running, she crouched down in the tub, positioning herself so that the water cascaded onto her back. It felt as if the water had the power to heal her, as if each droplet could wash away her troubles.
"Everything is okay!" she raised her voice just enough to not be heard in the other room though.
Seeking solace, she entered the bathroom, deliberately avoiding her reflection in the mirror as she undressed and prepared to step into the shower. Turning on the water, she squatted down in the tub, positioning herself so that the water cascaded onto her back.
With each droplet that touched her, she yearned for a healing sensation, hoping that the water running down her back would wash away her troubles. Leaning back and sitting down, she allowed the water to fully drench her hair.
𝕋houghts swirled through her mind as she looked up at the ceiling, watching the glass shower wall slowly become veiled by the warm steam. 'Will always look so tired?' she wondered, her heart heavy with concern. 'Why does he always seem so sad?' She tilted her head back even further, completely soaking her hair in the streaming water.
As the steam filled the air, Y/N felt her forehead begin to sweat. Her breathing grew heavier, burdened by the weight of her thoughts. 'Why did I stop eating? Was it for myself or for him? Did I stop eating to seek Will's attention?' She shook her head, denying those possibilities. 'No... No... I wanted to lose weight, didn't I?'
Her internal turmoil intensified as she contemplated her worthiness of Will's love and presence. 'Why is he still with me? He's only growing tired and burdened. He doesn't deserve to suffer because of my problems. He deserves someone better than me. I'm not worthy of him. He should be with someone who won't make him miserable, someone who can energize him from the beginning of each day. I'm nothing but a burden to him...' Tears streamed down her face, mingling with the flowing water.
In her despair, she firmly believed that Will's sadness and exhaustion were a direct result of her presence in his life. She blamed herself for his fatigue, convinced that she was responsible for his lack of sleep and the absence of his daily smiles. She mourned the loss of his carefree laughter, which had once filled their apartment. Tears continued to mix with the water, symbolizing the anguish she felt within.
'I am the problem.'
𝔸s Y/N stood up, she adjusted the water to a gentle rain shower setting. The warm water continued to cascade down her body, soothing her muscles and providing a momentary respite. With deliberate movements, she massaged her hair, allowing the water to fully saturate it. Reaching for the bottle of soap, she proceeded to wash her body, her movements slow and melancholic.
Her touch lingered on the parts of her body that elicited self-disgust, a sad smile playing on her lips.
Rinsing off the soap, she reached for the 3-in-1 shampoo that she and Will had been using. Tilting her head back, she carefully avoided getting any soap in her eyes, watching as drops of water settled on the ceiling. Taking a step back, she immersed her entire body under the stream of water, allowing the lather to run down her back and cleanse her.
The repetition of the motion brought a sense of ritual and momentary solace. Finally, she turned off the water, the sound of its flow abruptly ceasing.
Moving to the end of the tub where the glass wall did not reach, she fixed her gaze on the wall, noticing the chipped blue-grey paint. A subtle smile graced her face as she stepped out of the tub, her feet making contact with the cold tiles. She reached for the towel she had left by the sink, wrapping it around herself.
Walking towards the fogged-up mirror, Y/N remained naked as she wiped the condensation away with her hand. Despite her efforts, her reflection still appeared slightly blurred. Drawing closer, she locked eyes with herself in the mirror, seeking understanding and acceptance.
"We are the problem."
𝔸s Y/N gazed at Will's peaceful sleeping form, she couldn't help but wonder about the dreams that occupied his slumber. Observing the subtle movements of his nose and the flickering of his closed eyelids, she pondered what scenarios played out in his subconscious mind. Carefully, she slid out of bed, mindful not to disturb the duvet and risk waking him. She changed into the clothes she had worn the day before and quietly crossed the bedroom.
Opening the wardrobe with a gentle touch, she retrieved her suitcase, lifting it to minimize noise from the wheels. Carrying the suitcase, she tiptoed to the living room and placed it softly on the sofa.
With a quick glance around the apartment, she moved towards the kitchen countertops. Retrieving her cup from the sink, she nestled it inside the travel bag, hidden from view. She then walked along the room's contours and selected one of the two fluffy blankets from a nearby basket. Returning to the suitcase, she carefully arranged the blanket over her belongings, creating a protective layer.
Y/N reentered the bedroom and cautiously opened the first drawer, swiftly gathering her underwear. She swiftly returned to the living room, placing the gathered items alongside the others in the valise. Closing the drawer, she hesitated before the second one, aware that its noisy metal-on-metal sound might rouse Will from his sleep.
She bit her lip, deciding against opening it, and instead reached into the last drawer, retrieving two dresses and adding them to the growing collection in the suitcase.
𝔾ently gripping the fabric in the bag, she covered her belongings and zipped up the zipper to secure them in place. As she glanced at the other side of the valise, her eyes caught sight of a jumper that she and Will had searched for long ago. It was a vibrant jumper with two mint-colored stripes in the middle. She held it in her hands, memories flooding back, before folding it and placing it back inside the suitcase. Finally, she sat down on the couch next to the packed valise, exhaling a heavy sigh.
The weight of her emotions and the uncertainty of her actions weighed heavily upon her as she sat there, contemplating the path she was about to take. Y/N listened to the quiet voice in her mind, acknowledging its encouragement and support. Her hands trembled, a physical manifestation of the turmoil within her.
"You're doing a good thing," she whispered, reinforcing her resolve. She glanced at the television, where her silhouette stood next to the suitcase in the dimly lit room.
𝕋he scene resembled a moment from a romantic movie, where the protagonist would seek solace with her best friend, crying and lamenting her ex's mistreatment. It was a portrayal of transformation, where the lead actress, initially perceived as unattractive, would eventually reveal her true beauty.
But this wasn't a movie.
Y/N had just endured one of the most challenging experiences of her life. Will would never be the villain, the ex-boyfriend to be forgotten and despised. She wouldn't seek comfort in her friend's embrace, belittling him and recounting tales of mistreatment.
No, Will wasn't bad. He cared for Y/N and tried his best to make her happy. Yet, she knew deep down that she didn't deserve his efforts. She didn't want to burden him any longer. She felt like a leech, draining his happiness and strength. She longed for things to return to how they were before—the pre-pandemic, pre-quarantine era—before she became a problem.
𝕋ears welled up in her eyes as the weight of her decision bore down on her. In the script, she would leave now, seeking refuge with a college friend, her best friend, or her parents. But the current state of the world made escape seem impossible. Y/N didn't want to imply that living with Will had been terrible; in fact, they respected each other's space and knew when solitude was needed.
Being in the same room, sharing silence, had been enough to bring them happiness. Sometimes one of them retreated to the bedroom while the other stayed in the living room, granting the necessary space. Y/N didn't want it to end, and she didn't want to run away from Will. She wanted to leave, to give him the chance to regain his happiness.
The conflicting emotions tugged at her heart, torn between her desire to make Will happy and her reluctance to abandon their life together. It was a painful realization, but she believed it was the right decision.
Y/N gracefully rose from the plush couch, her senses heightened by a hint of nostalgia as she embarked on a journey through her memories. With purposeful steps, she made her way to the elegant cabinet that housed the television, its glossy exterior gleaming under the soft ambient lighting. The shelves within held an assortment of books, each one carrying its own story and allure. Some had been devoured by her voracious appetite for literature long ago, their worn spines bearing the marks of countless reads. Others remained untouched, their mysteries waiting patiently to be unraveled. And then there was one particular book, a cherished companion during the early days of her quarantine, its pages worn and dog-eared from repeated encounters.
Carefully, she retrieved the books from their resting place, their weight feeling familiar in her hands. As she gingerly placed them in her suitcase, she made sure to leave ample space for the jumpers and shirts that awaited extraction from another drawer. A sigh escaped her lips, carrying with it a blend of weariness and anticipation, as she tenderly adjusted a strand of hair that had strayed from its intended position.
Her delicate fingers graced her nose once more, a small gesture of reassurance, before she summoned the courage to press the handle of the bedroom door.
As the door swung open, a soft glow of orange light spilled into the room, casting an ethereal aura upon Will's face. It was as though he had been plucked from the pages of a glossy magazine, the embodiment of timeless beauty and masculine allure. Retrieving her phone from the depths of her back pocket, she unlocked the device effortlessly, its familiar glow illuminating her face as she raised it to capture a moment frozen in time.
Through the lens of her camera, she marveled at the captivating image before her - Will. She smiled thinking of how beautiful Will looked at times as he looked down at her with sweat and slightly wet hair, how he gently slumped against her breathing hard, how they had both been lying naked in bed just looking into each other's eyes for hours. She smiled thinking about how Will looked in straight hair, how much he had changed during the time they had both sat locked in the house for days. She watched him, he furrowed his brow as if he was talking to someone.
Her gaze remained fixed on Will's slumbering form, observing his restless movements as he shifted onto his back. With a heavy sigh, Y/N moved towards the dresser that held the potential to turn a carefully crafted escape plan into a tempestuous argument.
ℍer delicate fingers lightly grasped the drawer, a mere touch setting the metal in motion, its faint creaking already audible in her ears. Each increment in volume served as a reminder for Y/N to proceed cautiously, to tighten her behavior as though walking on a tightrope of emotions.
Her gaze fixated on the partially opened drawer, a gateway to reclaiming her belongings. It beckoned her, teasing her with the prospect of liberation. The internal debate raged within her, contemplating the possessions gifted to her by Will. 'Should I take the things he bought me’ she pondered, her pause punctuated by the slow extraction of shirts, one by one. Her eyes oscillated between the clothes she had acquired for herself and those that bore the imprint of Will's generosity.
A moment of hesitation washed over her, prompting her to glance back at her partner. Will's peaceful countenance, oblivious to the turmoil that swirled within her, evoked a twinge of guilt. An innate desire to protect their tranquility whispered through her thoughts, urging her to reconsider her actions.
It felt reminiscent of the rebellious spirit one might possess while running away from overbearing parents, swiftly extracting funds from their wallets to purchase a bus ticket to freedom.
Y/N moved with caution, her actions imbued with a sense of both trepidation and determination. She meticulously selected the clothes that resonated with her, their allure and aesthetic appeal surpassing those left untouched atop the dresser.
Turning her gaze towards the glass of a picture frame displaying an ancient world map, a fragment of her reflection danced upon its surface. The vibrant glow of the streetlights failed to reach her, leaving her face veiled in shadow while her cascading hair shimmered under the soft illumination. A subtle shake of her head symbolized a moment of introspection, a solemn acknowledgment of the path she had chosen. With deliberation, she gathered the shirts and sweatshirts within her hands, arranging them with tender precision inside her waiting suitcase.
𝔸s the weight of her actions settled upon her, a sudden interruption shattered the stillness.
Y/N jumped, startled by the intrusive ring of Will's phone. Swiftly retreating into the safety of the bed, she found solace by his side, laying down upon the covers. The brunet, lost in the depths of slumber, mumbled incoherently, his subconscious reaching out in search of the elusive phone.
"Hello?" Will grumbled, lifting the still ringing phone to his ear. Annoyance tinged his voice as he pushed the device away, his finger gliding across the screen to answer the call. "What do you want?" he asked curtly, more irritated at being forcefully awakened from his slumber than by the phone itself. Y/N lay on the bed, her eyes closed, feigning the act of just waking up. She artificially squinted as she opened her eyes, observing Will staring blankly at the ceiling with half-closed eyes.
"I don't know. What time it is," Will groaned, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. "No, I can't make it. It's Monday, and I have a class at thirteen. I just want to sleep," he retorted, pulling the phone away from his ear and ending the call. Y/N had a few seconds to catch a glimpse of Joe's name flashing on the screen before the interruption abruptly ceased.
"Did I wake you up, love?" Will inquired, blocking the phone and placing it between their pillows. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Go back to sleep, dear. It's only five in the morning. We still have time." he reassured her, turning away and pulling the covers back. "Can you give me blanket, I'm cold," he requested, prompting Y/N to raise herself up on her forearms, allowing Will to arrange the additional layers of warmth.
As she felt his muscular frame become distinguishable again, a sense of relief washed over her, soothing her restless mind.
Y/N lay on her back, her gaze fixed upon the ceiling, her eyes wide with a mix of anticipation and apprehension. Her hands trembled slightly as she slowly maneuvered her legs to the edge of the bed, preparing to rise. Once seated, her gaze involuntarily shifted towards the partially open drawer. ‘If I close the drawer now.... Will will wake up; he's having a gentle sleep right now. I'm not one hundred percent sure he's asleep.’ she contemplated. Summoning her courage, Y/N stood up, reaching for the laptop resting alongside a keyboard and a few notebooks. ‘I'll come back for my college stuff,’ she silently promised herself, stepping towards the bedroom door and gently closing it behind her.
"Y/N?" Will's voice jolted her from her thoughts, causing her to pull a face upon hearing his inquiry. She promptly reopened the door, meeting his inquisitive gaze. "Where are you going?" he questioned, turning around and straightening his drowsy body. "Are you dressed?" he mumbled, his sleepy mind struggling to focus on the situation at hand.
𝕋he gentle glow of the street lamp illuminated him even more beautifully than when he lay upon the bed, casting a soft, yellow halo upon the entire left side of his body. He instinctively narrowed his left eye in response to the lingering luminosity.
"To the bathroom," Y/N responded, biting her lip nervously. Will sat up further, his sleepy demeanor giving way to a more alert posture. He shook his head while rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands, momentarily resembling a cartoon character awakening from a deep sleep. His eyes widened as if a sudden jolt of realization had electrified his consciousness.
"With a laptop?" he queried lazily, pointing a finger towards the device firmly held in Y/N's grasp. She pressed her lips together tightly, nodding in confirmation. "Y/N, what are you planning? You're dressed to go out, and you have a laptop. What's going on?" he probed, moving towards the edge of the bed. An icy chill ran through his feet, reminiscent of plunging into deep water. He rose to his full height, stretching his body with a seductive moan, seemingly even taller than before. He had already opened his mouth to speak but halted his words upon noticing the open drawer.
His drowsy countenance swiftly transformed into one of alert sobriety. "Y/N?" he uttered; his voice laden with concern.
In response, Y/N took two steps back and closed the door behind her. Hastily, she dashed towards the suitcase, swiftly closing it shut. ‘Run. Run!’ a voice screamed in her mind as tears welled up, mingling with a cascade of overwhelming emotions. With each passing second feeling shorter than the previous one, she flung the suitcase off the couch and gripped its handle tightly.
Just as she rounded the corner, she heard the sound of the bedroom door opening.
"Y/N, what are you—" Will's voice trailed off as he interrupted himself, his gaze falling upon the suitcase and Y/N's anguished expression, on the verge of tears. They stood motionless, locked in a silent gaze, while Will took slow steps towards her. Each stride was preceded by the realization of Y/N's missing belongings. He gently grasped her wrist, his touch pleading.
"I'm scared now. What are you doing?" he implored, his voice trembling with uncertainty. A deluge of questions flooded his mind, eclipsing any semblance of answers. ‘What's happening? Where are you going? What do you want to do? Am I about to lose you? If I release your hand, will you leave the flat without a word of explanation? Am I on the verge of losing my love?’
No.
There was no answer in his head.
𝕋he room was engulfed in a heavy silence, hanging thickly in the air as Y/N and Will locked eyes. It felt as though the weight of the world rested upon their shoulders, their gazes penetrating deep into each other's souls. Their eyes welled up with tears, mirroring the raw emotions swirling within them. They knew that the next words spoken would unleash a flood of tears, a deluge of pent-up feelings.
"Please..." Their voices trembled in unison, on the verge of breaking down. Will's grip on Y/N's wrist loosened, an unspoken plea for her to join him in finding solace. Slowly, Y/N released her hold on the suitcase handle, surrendering herself to Will's guidance as he led her towards the couch. The room, shrouded in darkness, seemed to echo their internal turmoil.
As they settled down on the couch, a pang of realization struck Will. He looked around the dimly lit apartment, taking in the sight of Y/N's belongings packed neatly into a single suitcase. The magnitude of her intention to leave without a word pierced his heart. In that moment, he understood that his beloved partner, the other half of his very being, was truly prepared to walk away.
Their eyes remained locked, searching desperately for answers within the depths of each other's gaze. Tears glistened on their cheeks, threatening to spill over at any moment. They knew that the next words uttered would unravel their fragile composure, baring their vulnerabilities and fears.
"Y/N, dear, what..." Will's voice quivered with unspoken emotions, his lip trembling as he carefully chose his words. His hand, once holding onto her wrist, now tenderly intertwined their fingers, seeking a connection amidst the uncertainty. He sensed Y/N's reluctance to meet his gaze, her eyes fixed on the reflection of their fragmented selves in the blank television screen.
A flicker of apprehension passed through Y/N's eyes as she finally shifted her weeping gaze towards Will's tear-streaked face. She could see the traces of exhaustion etched into his features, beyond the mere physical realm. His weariness was a testament to the toll their shared struggles had taken on him, both mentally and emotionally.
"Can you explain to me what's on your mind right now?" he asked after a moment. Along with his question, the woman looked with wider eyes in front of her. She looked as if she was asking herself this question by moving her lips slightly.
"In my mind?" Y/N's voice quivered, barely audible, as if she was grappling with her own thoughts. She seemed to be silently questioning herself, her lips moving ever so slightly, searching for the right words to convey the storm raging within her.
Before Will could interject, a wave of determination washed over Y/N, compelling her to press a gentle finger against his lips, stifling any potential denial. "Can't you see it, Will?" Her voice trembled, filled with a mix of sadness and regret. "It's not about how you've changed, how you've taken care of yourself. It's about how I've changed you."
She withdrew her hand from his mouth, allowing her words to hang heavily in the air. Tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill over onto her flushed cheeks. "I'm destroying you," she continued, her voice filled with a blend of remorse and gratitude. "I appreciate your unwavering support, your presence. But it's a battle, a constant fight with myself. Every day, I strive to do better, to be more than I was yesterday, and..."
ℍer words trailed off, her voice choked with emotion. The weight of her admission hung in the silence, an unspoken question lingering in the air. Will's eyes mirrored the tumultuous storm brewing within him. Questions surged through his mind, seeking answers amidst the sea of uncertainty. What was happening to their once harmonious bond? How had their lives taken this unexpected turn?
The room stood witness to their shared anguish, the silent plea for understanding and the desperate search for a path forward. In that moment, they both knew that they had reached a crossroads, where decisions carried the weight of a thousand possibilities. They sat there, locked in an embrace of uncertainty, their hearts yearning for resolution, and their souls bracing for the impact of the forthcoming revelations.
"But I see it and-" she covered his mouth with her hand again.
Y/N's hand trembled slightly as she covered Will's mouth once more, her eyes pleading for him to listen, to allow her the space to express her thoughts. The room fell into a profound stillness, their intertwined gaze conveying a mutual understanding. Will, respecting her request, nodded silently, the faint hues of dawn gently caressing their faces, as if lending a glimmer of hope to their conversation.
Taking a deep breath, Y/N steadied herself, her voice quivering with a mixture of vulnerability and determination. "Will... I want you to hear me out, to truly understand," she began, her words weaving through the fragile air that enveloped them. "It's not just about the weight gain, those two kilos. It's about what they symbolize, what they represent in the grand scheme of our journey."
"Will... I'm trying to eat. I've put on weight! Yes, two kilos and I haven't noticed a difference in my body, but yes. It's a lot! However... It took me almost three months... No... It took US almost three months. Because it's our fight. But I'm the problem Will." Her eyes, brimming with tears, held an unwavering gaze with Will's, seeking solace and comprehension.
Will's gaze softened, his own insecurities momentarily forgotten as he focused intently on Y/N's words. He peered down at his pajama-clad body, feeling a pang of self-reflection wash over him. Y/N's voice, warm with affection, reached his ears, alleviating the weight he had carried upon his shoulders. "You are beautiful, Will," she assured him, her voice holding a tenderness that transcended physical appearances.
The weight of her words settled upon them, the unspoken acknowledgment that their struggles were intricately entwined. Y/N's voice grew more fragile, her emotions threatening to break through the surface. "But, Will," she continued, her voice laced with sorrow, "you're unintentionally destroying yourself mentally. Your relentless pursuit of my happiness has taken a toll on your own. I see it, Will."
Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, shimmering with unshed emotions. Her heart ached at the realization that her own struggles had become a barrier between them, casting shadows upon their once radiant connection. The weight of her own battles, coupled with the guilt of seeing Will bear the weight of her pain, bore heavily upon her conscience.
Her voice quivered with a mixture of sorrow and gratitude as she whispered, "I'm sorry, Will. I'm sorry for becoming your problem, for placing this burden upon your shoulders. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Before we were together, before I entered your life. I don't want my struggles to overshadow yours, to dampen your spirit." Y/N's voice trailed off, her words mingling with the unspoken desire for their bond to find its equilibrium once more.
Tears streamed down her face, a testament to the depth of her emotions and the love that still resided within her. She awaited Will's response, their intertwined fate hanging delicately in the balance, as they navigated the complexities of their intertwined journey together.
𝔸s they gazed into each other's eyes, a profound sense of understanding washed over them, like a gentle wave embracing the shore. Will tenderly wiped away Y/N's tears, his touch conveying both solace and reassurance.
"My love, look at me," he softly implored, observing her eyes closed in an attempt to shield herself from the overwhelming emotions. "Please, open your eyes, my darling." With his gentle strokes against her cheeks, Y/N gradually blinked her eyes open, meeting the unwavering gaze of the person she held so dear.
Rare were the instances in their shared history when Y/N witnessed Will shedding tears. He was not one to cry easily, his tears being reserved for moments of profound significance. Seeing him vulnerable in this way only reinforced her realization that she needed to address the impact her struggles had on the person she cherished most.
"Hey, don't dwell on those thoughts now," Will soothingly spoke, his voice laced with a tender affection. "Listen to me, my love. Right now, there is no room for that voice in your head. There is only room for my words, okay?" Y/N sniffled and nodded, her expression a blend of fragility and hope. In this tender moment, he sought to redefine the narrative that had haunted her.
"You were never the problem, and you will never be a problem to me," Will reassured her, his voice brimming with unwavering love and devotion. "You, my angel, my love. It's like a flu, just a bit more serious." He let out a gentle chuckle, the sound carrying a delicate warmth that enveloped them. "Yes, it's true that I am tired, more tired than before, but you are not the reason behind it. There are many things in my mind right now—the Twitch channel, YouTube, my music, my studies, and the nagging feeling of not being completely satisfied with what I'm doing. It's the culmination of all these things that contributes to my fatigue. But you, my love, you are not the problem."
A surge of relief and gratitude washed over Y/N's weary soul as she absorbed his words, their significance resonating deeply within her. She couldn't help but regret the delay in recognizing her own need for assistance, but she found solace in the fact that she had come to this realization on her own. Will's pride in her resilience and daily struggle against her inner demons only served to strengthen her resolve.
"Y/N, my love," Will continued, drawing nearer to her, their breaths mingling in the intimate space between them. "Every day, as you fight against that voice in your head, I am proud of you. I understand, because I too battle my own inner voice. 'Why bother eating when everything tastes the same?' But you know what? Eating together, sharing these moments at this very table, on this couch, it's my way of expressing my love for you. Because I love you, regardless of anything and everything. It doesn't matter who you are or what you may be going through. I love you every single day."
In the tender silence that followed, Will's words hung in the air like an ethereal melody, resonating with the profound depth of his love for Y/N. Each word he spoke echoed within her heart, reaffirming the unbreakable bond they shared. The weight of his unwavering affection wrapped around her like a warm embrace, soothing the lingering doubts and fears that had plagued her.
Their souls danced in perfect harmony, intertwined by a love that transcended superficialities. "No matter what you are or are not," Will declared, his voice trembling with emotion, "I love you every day." His words painted a vivid tapestry of acceptance and adoration, embracing every facet of her being. “With your hair styled, with a storm of hair. With sleepy eyes, with a beautiful baby face. In pajamas, in my clothes, in dresses, in shirts, trousers or skirt. I love you and never, no one and nothing will change that. I want to be with you." he said moving closer to give her a light kiss. "It pains me that I don't know how to convey this feeling in words. It's all good, but yet something hides inside me and wants to scream. It's fucking: weakness. I am weak... But. You are another part of me. Someone who makes me never feel alone, someone who makes me not give up in what I do. I love you, you're my Y/N." He said again kissing the woman who this time reciprocates his kiss.
In that intimate moment, their hearts beat as one, the world fading into insignificance. Y/N, overcome by a surge of profound emotion, reciprocated his kiss, pouring her own love into the tender meeting of their lips.
"𝕀 love you too," she whispered, her voice carrying a newfound strength born from their shared vulnerability. Moving away slightly, she rested her forehead against his, their breaths intertwining as they merged into one. Her gaze, filled with a mixture of love and concern, met his deep brown eyes, which now appeared darker than their natural hue.
"I want us to keep fighting," Y/N spoke softly, her voice a delicate plea. "But I also want you to fight for yourself, to remember the importance of self-care. Take care of yourself too, Will. Please." Her words held a gentle urgency, an acknowledgment of the toll their struggles had taken on both of them.
A flicker of understanding illuminated Will's eyes as he absorbed her words, his gaze mirroring her own concerns. "You're right, my dear," he replied, his voice carrying a note of determination.
"I think we need to take care of each other, my dear."
#wilbur soot x reader#wilbur soot x y/n#wilbur soot x you#mcyt wilbur#mcyt x reader#mcyt x you#wilbur mcyt#wilbur soot fic#wilbur soot#wilbur x you#wilbur post
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What's in the name: Cloud Recesses
While making the edits for the post about the seats of the five great sects (plus one small definitely-not-a-sect), I found myself going "Why do the Lan always have to be so extra, why not just stick to three characters like everyone else 😫". But looking at the characters used for what is simply translated as "Cloud Recesses" is actually very interesting. Let's see!
My trusty translation software translates the 云深不知处, yúnshēn bùzhīchù, as "the clouds are deep and unknown" with the 云深, yúnshēn, translated as "Cloud Deep" and the 不知处, bùzhīchù, translated as "I don't know where (something is situated)". So, together they evoke "a place hidden by deep clouds" (hidden in deep clouds), the "Cloud Recesses".
But looking at the characters in more detail, more layers of meaning emerge. In addition to "not knowing" or "being unaware" of something, the characters 不知, bùzhī, carry the figurative meaning of "to not admit defeat, hardships, tiredness etc." (or so my trusty dictionary says). The character 处, chù, means "a place" but also, when pronouced/read as chǔ, "to dwell". So, put together, "to dwell (in) a place hidden by deep clouds, admitting no defeat, hardships, tiredness etc."? Sounds pretty Lan, if you ask me (and, as a sidenote, the chǔ also has a meaning "to punish"... just saying).
And there's more. In addition to the "cloud", the character 云, yún, is mentioned to have a literary meaning of "to say, speak", and the character 深, shēn, can also mean "profound". Can that be taken to mean "profound speech" or "to speak profoundly"? As in speaking with great knowledge, showing wisdom and insight, speaking philosophically, or speaking intensely, acutely, with deeply felt words... I might be reaching here but it feels intentional, as speech is something that seems to define the Lan with their silencing spells and all their rules related to speaking. And come to think of it, "speaking profoundly" seems to also define all the main Lan, in one way or another: Lan Qiren, the respected teacher; Lan Xichen, the soft-spoken diplomat; Lan Wangji, who does not speak unless there is something really worth saying, and when he does, speaks almost exclusively in elevated register (a great meta post about that by @hunxi-guilai); Lan Sizhui, speaking for Lan Wangji and speaking with manners and wisdom beyond his years; Lan Jingyi... speaking, and speaking with passion, not afraid to voice his opinions.
So, it seems to me that the name of the seat of the Lan Clan is layered with meanings beyond the "Cloud Recesses", meanings that cannot be expressed in a simple translation, but that actually also describe the Lan, not just the place they live in.
However, I need to end this with a disclaimer: as much as I would love to, I do not speak (or know much) Chinese, so as I mentioned I am relying on translation software and dictionaries here, and my speculations may be all wrong. So I would love to hear from native Chinese speakers, or from people who actually know the language, if anything I've mentioned above makes any actual sense or if I'm reading way too much into this 🙂.
#cloud recesses#gusu lan#the meaning of 云深不知处#the untamed#theuntameddaily#cql#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#meta#or perhaps rather speculation#random late night thoughts#mine#korpikorppi
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Tired Webcomic Creator Noises
Gags … ah yes lets make art into mindless content spat out by Ai cos we've been literally killing creators with inhumane workloads to spit out as many episodes as possible for mindless consumption.
I make my comics with passion and love of the craft! I have a degree in Comics, I spent years...years learning, practising, experimenting, adapting. I recall the days where you may get a page a week, or a few at the start of the month back in the 2000s era of self hosted webcomics and smackjeeves. (Rant below)
I've had to learn how the whole scrolling format worked to adapt to where all the readers had gone to, having been taught the traditional print page formats. And now cos its suddenly a massive money maker for these few hosts and they've pushed creators to the brink with the sheer volume they want pumped out that of course they want to use AI.
But it will speed up colouring! I have multiple tools available by the software I use and made by the wonderful people who love creating that colouring isn't that much of a chore, Its my fav part honestly. And its also a job sector within comics, colourists are skilled artists and this is another way to trim the fat, to pocket more money and keep churning out the 5th millionth villainess story.
Yes I am in most views a tiny creator, I haven't even broken their 1000 sub goal to even try applying for ad rev in the near 5 ish years on webtoon. But what I make I love, I spend hours researching folklore, scripting, drafting the whole kabudle like many other creators. And other than the kind supporters on my Patreon and Ko-fi I don't make much from the hours, days, weeks I pour into what I make. But at least I know its made with my own hands. That its made with love as corny as that sounds.
Ai is creeping its tentacles into everything, now ethically trained ai tools to help smaller creators would be fine. Most creators already rely on 3d tools to speed up things like backgrounds for webcomics. But when we don't know what its trained on, and is marketed wholesale as something anyone can use to make "content" is where it gets insidious. I am all for anyone with the desire to create and tell a story to go out there and do so, whether a beginner or a master. Part of the joy of a long running webcomic is seeing the artist grow both artistically and literary. But with ai it will be all one homogenous style, a copy of what ever is the hot thing. We already have amazon stuffed to the teeth with ai generated books, videos, merch and more all to be sold in some get rich quick manner. (need I point at the Willy's Wonderland incident). Youtube videos being spat out by faceless accounts stealing and regurgitating content at the speed no human video making team can easily match without cutting out quality or fact checking.
It is tiring. Creatives as a whole are treated poorly for decades, and now with the rapid late stage capitalism, website /social media enshitification and the blind headlong rush into the next big money making thing (watches the nft crash). I can't deny Covid sped this up, as everyone was locked inside and turned to what we creators made for comfort. But that content eating boom, lead to more demand, faster output and tighter budgets. We are seeing journalists being cut, game designers in their thousands and recently Dreamworks cutting a bunch and pushing to make their Robot film come out sooner due to public demands.
Skilled creatives are being treated like disposable fast food restaurant employees. Used til they burn out, get injured and even die! And then are simply replaced.
I've never been a creator with huge ambitions to work at places like DC, Marvel or Top Cow. I simply wished to create and share stories with the world, to bring smiles, to create art that evokes emotions, inspires others to look around themselves and create too.
Art is for everyone. You just need to take that scary jump, there is a whole array of welcoming communities willing to teach and share. I wouldn't have improved so much without the kindness of the webcomic groups I've discovered and learnt from. Everyone is always learning, and there no shame in not knowing how to do a thing. Even I started with the cheesy how to draw books as a kid and made my own pokemon and digimon.
Don't let the world treat your art as content. It is "ART" as much as what's kept in the louvre is seen as art, so is that little stick man doodle on a postit.
So Try something new, try a new material, a new style.
And support the artists you enjoy, tip their Ko-Fi, pledge to their Patreon, buy a sticker or print. Share their posts and tell them what you love about what they make.
Don't let machines steal away the art in HEART.
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The Cyberpunk Genre: From Fiction to Reality
The Real-World Cyberpunk Narrative
In the realm of science fiction, the cyberpunk genre has long captivated audiences with its vision of a high-tech, low-life future. Cyberpunk, a subgenre that emerged in the early 1980s, combines advanced technology with a layer of dystopian elements, often exploring themes of artificial intelligence, cybernetics, corporate hegemony, and social decay. However, what once seemed a distant future is now becoming a striking reflection of our present reality.
The Cyberpunk Reality of Modern Corporations
As we delve into the corporate world, the parallels between cyberpunk narratives and current events become strikingly clear. This article examines the activities of major corporations like Google, Microsoft, Amazon, SpaceX, and OpenAI, highlighting instances that resonate with cyberpunk themes.
"Google: The Digital Panopticon"
Google, with its vast array of services, has created a digital ecosystem that closely resembles the omnipresent corporations in cyberpunk lore. The company's foray into various sectors, from search engines to smart home devices, has raised concerns about privacy invasion and data control, reminiscent of cyberpunk's surveillance-heavy societies.
"Microsoft: The Silicon Overlord"
Microsoft's dominance in the software industry, particularly with its Windows operating system and Office suite, mirrors the cyberpunk trope of a corporation wielding enormous power over everyday technology. The company's expansion into cloud computing and AI further cements its status as a tech giant with a reach that extends into the very fabric of digital life.
"Amazon: The Corporate Colossus"
Amazon's transformation from an online bookstore to a retail and technology behemoth aligns with cyberpunk's portrayal of mega-corporations that transcend traditional industry boundaries. The company's ventures into cloud computing, AI, and even space travel through its Blue Origin subsidiary evoke images of a corporation with almost limitless ambition and resources.
"SpaceX: Architects of the Starbound Future"
SpaceX, under the leadership of Elon Musk, brings to life the cyberpunk fascination with space exploration and privatization. The company's ambitious projects, including the colonization of Mars and satellite internet services, embody the cyberpunk vision of pushing humanity's boundaries, both technologically and geographically.
"OpenAI: The AI Enigma"
OpenAI, known for its groundbreaking work in AI, reflects cyberpunk's preoccupation with the potential and dangers of artificial intelligence. The development of advanced AI models and their applications in various fields raise questions about the future of human-AI interaction, a central theme in many cyberpunk narratives.
Industrial Espionage: A Cyberpunk Reality
The world of industrial espionage, a staple in cyberpunk plots, is no stranger to these tech giants. The competitive nature of the technology industry, driven by the race for innovation and market dominance, has led to numerous instances of data breaches, intellectual property theft, and corporate spying. These incidents underscore the darker aspects of the corporate world, mirroring the intrigue and deception often found in cyberpunk stories.
Cyberpunk Tropes in the Modern World
Several broad tropes characteristic of the cyberpunk genre are increasingly relevant today:
Technological Advancements vs. Societal Decay: The stark contrast between cutting-edge technology and societal challenges, such as income inequality and privacy concerns, is a recurring theme in both cyberpunk fiction and the modern world.
Corporate Power and Influence: The immense power wielded by mega-corporations, often at the expense of individual freedoms and government authority, is a reality in both the cyberpunk genre and today's corporate landscape.
Ethical Dilemmas of AI and Cybernetics: The ethical and philosophical questions surrounding artificial intelligence, cybernetics, and human enhancement are as pertinent in real life as they are in cyberpunk narratives.
Conclusion: Cyberpunk as a Now Genre
As we examine these parallels, it becomes evident that cyberpunk is no longer a genre fixated on a near future. The themes, concerns, and narratives central to cyberpunk are increasingly manifesting in our current reality. The once speculative fiction has transformed into a lens through which we can view and understand the complexities and challenges of our high-tech, corporate-dominated world. Cyber is no longer a near future genre. It's a now genre.
- Raz
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Last year in classic games
For motives I cannot expand on with much glee, I found a little more time than usual this year to reduce my seemingly endless backlog of classics. Despite all the fine new releases 2023 has greeted us with, I was able to finally dive into this eclectic handful of games I gathered over time. It is perhaps no coincidence that I reached out for more direct game experiences than story-driven ones. I find myself increasingly drawn to games designs that are mindful of the player's time as a commodity not to be carelessly squandered.
One note, if I may: I would like to inspire my readers to progressively discard the use of the word retro this year. We are all of advancing years and wisdom, I trust. The introduction of the term retro to the videogame vernacular was a gross mistake furthering the abhorrent notion that games were as ephemeral in their nature as fashion. It is a purely commercial designation by which to profitably repackage old software as a category of its own, originating from the same minds that considered games as mere novelty trinkets of limited marketable lifespan.
It is up to the player to individually decide on an older game's appeal, whether they may be discovering it for the first time or revisiting it for the umpteenth one. This is not only an appeal for those of you who write about games in any capacity, rather to anyone who takes videogames as a serious interest and communicates with others about this the object of their predilection. Thank you.
This loose cart came with a Famicom bundle auction I won in 2009, if memory serves. I turned on the Famicom and tested it merely to verify if it was still in working condition and found myself engrossed in that trademark Pajitnov/Pokhilko elegant approach to game design. As per the cassette's label, Hatris was originally a concept developed in collaboration with ParaGraph, a Russian studio that went on to develop specialized professional software, a year before the Bullet-Proof Software licensing deal. They produced a few games in the turn of the decade that were rather unusual and, some would say, even visionary. I recommend that you look up their story, if you're curious.
The only entry from the group that isn't of Japanese provenance - though it is a Japanese edition - I played it for purely nostalgic motives, perhaps a yearning for a certain pixel, palette and parallax that resoundingly evoke a time I was fortunate enough to experience, first-hand. If I may be honest, I purchased the game for the visual value of its unique cover art, which I deem superior to the US edition's. In saying that, I must highlight that the original Amiga game box art was quite accomplished.
In the Summer of 93 while on holiday at the beach, there was a French Nintendo magazine for sale whose purchase I could not resist. It was very common to find Spanish, English and French publications at the time in Portugal. This edition had a striking four page preview of this Jaleco gem, Ikari no Yōsai, or Operation Logic Bomb as it was named in the West. For years I searched the PAL version in vain, then ultimately decided to import it on account of - you'd never guess! - the superior box art. Playing it this year at long last, I was instantly reminded of an old Game Boy favourite, Fortified Zone, which I now know to be its prequel. Most top-down shooters are best played in co-op. Ikari no Yōsai is strictly and single-player affair and not once did I miss the absence of a friendly companion.
Keio Flying Squadron 2 first came to my attention via an infamous Saturn demo disc, which came into my hands through circumstances I have since forgotten about. I use the word infamous because the entire game code was available in the disc and the level select cheat code enabled me to unscrupulously play the entirety of the game for no additional expense - at only the cost of missing out on the colourful Studio Pierrot anime FMV interludes.
Having played the sequel first, I was somewhat disenchanted to learn the original game did not feature any platforming segments, it being a pure scrolling shooter in the same whimsical vein as Parodius or, say, an AirZonk. Still, a jolly good time with the old three buttons.
For reasons that will not be immediately apparent to younger reading audiences, I pride myself in having completed most Shinobi games, The Revenge Of and GG being my preferred ones. Shin Shinobi Den, or Shinobi X in Europe, was a game not readily available from my usual game dealers. I eventually borrowed the PAL version once, though not nearly long enough to master it. I finally saw it through this year, mere days before SEGA announced a new episode. While the live action clips looked a tad maladroit in the 1990s, they came to acquire that nice patina I now look for in classic games.
Omega Force was known to take the sporadic breather from producing some of KOEI's most cherished and profitable series. I distinctly remember enjoying Destrega quite a bit in its day, a game quite unlike any other. What their 1998 Enigma lacks in consistency and originality, it more than amply makes up for with its own bizarre concepts, extravagant characters and unexpected genre fusions. Of all the titles in this post, this was the one whose pace felt the most sluggish, and needlessly so.
Microsoft Game Studio Japan release schedule plans were not at all kind on this, their first production, Magatama. Earlier this year I praised this era for its highly inspired H&S action adventure titles and even spent a few days delighting myself with the likes of Blood Will Tell, Nightshade, Bujingai, or Chaos Legion. This most unusual creation, developed by the aptly-named Team Breakout - a group composed of many talented ex-Square employees - is one among the finest of the era. Sadly, it did not do enough to persuade players at the time that it was a better purchase than Otogi or its sequel. Playing it with my mind and heart set back in time to 2003, I can say that this misguided consideration may not have withstood a second thought.
I've long wanted to write an extensive article on Japanese firefighting games. In fact, I have the structure laid out for a Japanofiles entry gathering moss in my Tumblr drafts for over a decade now. For a brief period this year I convinced myself I could finally fulfil this aspiration and resumed Sakurazaka Shouboutai as research. Developed by Racdym - later Racjin - for Irem, it is every bit as good as Firefighter F.D.18 or Hard Luck, and in many ways more inventive from a conceptual standpoint. While Konami and Spike found a way to have their games released in the west, Sakurazaka's poor regional sales performance clearly accounts for Irem's reluctance to bear the cost of an overseas ticket.
#hatris#paragraph#bullet-proof software#wolfchild#mega cd#Ikari no Yōsai#operation logic bomb#fortified zone#jaleco#super nintendo#keio flying squadron#victor entertainment#shin shinobi den#shinobi x#shinobi legions#sega saturn#enigma#omega force#koei#magatama#xbox#Sakurazaka Shouboutai#irem#racjin#racdym
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Hey I hope you’re doing okay! Ive been stalking your page for a while! I’m in the same process of making a visual novel! I was wondering how you do the AI+Sims 4 without it looking you know jacked up! Would love to know your progress!
Hold your hats everyone, i'll be explaining in details...
I was quite sceptical about AI previously. It felt like I'm being replaced with something monstrous, artificial - the imitation of life that's superior me on every single parameter. The sudden sting of a guilt for years of seemingly vain trials and tribulations. Was it all just for nothing? I believe everyone of us came to that question sooner or later. But here I stand telling you how to make a machine fulfill your demands.
First thing. The machine loves precise. From my personal experience, a better formed human wish grants a better machinery result. A less formed wish gives it a choice. Think beforehand, seek the patterns (keywords) that may help you sustain the artstyle throughout the workflow.
Tell the AI what it needs to do. Give it a reference image and explain how you want it to be changed. For example, I want this alien dude becoming a:
"A visually ominous face of an eyeless humanoid creature. This divine image, resembling a digitally rendered painting, showcases the ancient Egyptian god of chaos in detail: sharp chin and cheekbones, dark gray and beige skin, shimmering with pulsating rainbow hues, blood is visibly circulating under his translucent, cadaverous skin. His mouth with tightened teeth grins menacingly. The overall composition is dynamic and captivating, evoking a sense of fear, malevolent power and impending chaos". That will be my prompt. If you're lacking skills then put your hands on other's results, copy their prompts and reshape according to your needs.
Oh. Not so eyeless. Let's give it less of a free will shall we?
Better now! Sadly the eyes are in place, as you can see it is not perfect even with precise input. Now let's make about 5-10 generations with same settings. It may take time to pass a cooldown after you'll run out of tokens, so be patient. If you have absolutely no spare money to buy a decent amount of generations (or if the transactions themselves are banned in your country 👍) and your enthusiasm is on pathetically vigorous level join me on free trial option almost any of the AI sites provide. That is fair exchange - money or your time.
You get what I mean? It could be anything shaped into another anything. Put here your sim, order a nice shot - here you go! Make something out of nothing with the power of words. Make a human being... some kind of.
Hooray! Not only we have the result we craved for but a whole bunch of reusable high-quality textures of various nature.
Our next step: we go in a deep dark lair of creator's mind. Hm-m, I'd correct here and there, erased that part and attached that one... Now we play "compile your Frankenstein out of everything that is not in its place". Of course a machine is not yet on the level where there wouldn't be a possibility to distinct its presence. So to hide these little (big, actually) inconsistencies we use a power of photo editing. Grab your software. With the power given to you by the sense of vision eliminate the overgrowing fingers and fight back mutilated teeth clumps.
Meet my favourite one hundred percent AI generated method. Generate a simple low quality image free and effortlessly (I use Craiyon, the perfect weapon)
Let another AI add the details for you. Catches the concept just great. Though it does not mean no handiwork after.
You can stylize it even further. Here you can see AI generated monster dudes crispy pixelated after a luxurious tour into pixelart AI. Good thing for a pixel indie gamestyle.
So, that's it. The secret is basically in your own hands. Acknowledge the style of your game, follow it while generating contents and patch up the AI mistakes.
+ zero investments
+ compensation for a lack of skills / hardware
+ easy to use
- even more work than if you would do all the same without AI
- straight dependence on sites / chat-bots, etc.
- time consuming
- many limitations (forget this if you're not on a free subscription... wait a second that abolish the first plus too!)
Hope it was helpful!
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When you're a Writer and a Vtuber...
If you like storytelling, Vtubing, or both, this one's for you 🥰
You'd think there'd be more overlap of "People who want to be fantasy characters and hide their face" and "Writers" but there really aren't. I know like me and @moonfeatherblue and that's it for the writing/worldbuilding and Vtuber overlap lololol. I think there should be more of us!
So, let me convince you to become a storytelling/worldbuilding/writing Vtuber like me...
In addition to just loving all the cool things you can do with Live2D as a software (if like art and you don't just stare at rigging showcases on YouTube, you should. It's so cool!), I also love storytelling in a social media space. Like, how do you tell a story over time? How much information should you reveal and when? What colors, images, and sounds evoke the feelings you want? And what feelings will keep people coming back for more? Basically, Vtubers have made me fall in love with marketing because the best marketing is just storytelling with some sort of call-to-action at the end.
Am I GOOD at marketing? No, lol, but maybe YOU would be! KEEP READING to find out XD
On the flipside, so so many Vtubers are like "I'm the embodiment of sin and also a gamer and a singer" or "I'm a cottagecore whale who is also the collector of lost souls and I play video games" and it's like... clearly Vtuber audiences LIKE the fantasy aspects of this. Why is the Vtuber default just gaming? Why is there not waaaaay more whimsy and storytelling? (This isn't to say Gaming Bad TM. I'm literally a game dev. I NEED streamers to play my games. I love them.) There's just so much opportunity for cool storytelling with Vtubers!
If you wanna get into being a fictional character/having a kayfabe-like wrestling persona for your writing, you should 100% get into Vtubing. You don't even need to stream to be a Vtuber -- and honestly I'm not even sure you need to post videos necessarily lol -- GIFs and pictures could probably get you pretty far on the right platforms. You could start out using a PNG --there are so many good, free PNGtuber softwares and you could use Picrew images (with the right permissions!) for your PNGtuber to start. Or if you can draw, you can just DO THAT.
Or if you have like $50 USD, Raindrop Atelier has a FULLY rigged Vtuber "Picrew" with chibi models that are so high quality and cute! Or if you have like $300 USD, you could get one of the Picrew-like Vtubers from Charat Genesis. (Yes, that's a lot BUT most Vtuber models — 2D and 3D alike — run you from $2000 to $8000 sooooo $300 is a steal in comparison.)
And then, over time, you could post and reveal facts about yourself and tidbits of your lore! And you could give writing advice or talking about your worldbuilding in-character! I've had this idea to make a fantasy creature mockumentary for actually years now and I'm just trying to find a good scope for it...
On the downside, as with all "storytelling in real time", it can a little discouraging at the start when you don't have a big audience. And this specific niche is especially underdeveloped so it's definitely hard to find a foothold. BUT I find that, because it's all play -- it's all FANTASY -- I have a lot more energy for this kind of marketing than I would if I were promoting myself as "just a writer, trying to sell my writing." Getting people to like me is exhausting. Getting people to like my writing is part of the writing process!
Cuz like, aside from just "inhabiting a fictional character" and "reducing your face presence online while still giving your personal brand a face", being a Vtuber is also a fun way to tie into your work.
Like, my Vtuber model is Arlasaire and she's the protagonist of my (probably) upcoming RPG, Untitled Yssaia Game, (Not the final name, real name pending lol). She talks about cooking and music and geography over on my YouTube channel and it's all infused with cool fantasy music and sound effects. She speaks in and teaches you about conlangs in the world. And she goes on fantasy dates or fantasy vacations! So now, I'm getting people attached to this character and her world BEFORE I even get into her actual story. And all her merchandising and stuff is really just game merchandising and so on and so forth... and that's just good branding! Hopefully some day, this translates into more people playing the game and seeing more of my work!
But obviously, I'm very new to marketing or else this blog post would convince more writers to become Vtubers and more Vtubers to write lol.
Anyway, here's some Arlasaire art (art: LexiKoumori on IG, rig: Kanijam) AS WELL AS some of her earlier model sketches before I asked for her hair to be silkier and less feathery! And lastly, a short unedited video of me being cringe so you KNOW you could do better :DDDD
#writeblr#worldbuilding#live2d#vtuber#marketing#pngtuber#vtuber model#vtubing#fantasy writing#fantasy lore#amaiguri
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⚠️DO NOT INTERACT⚠️
• anyone who believes ace/aro people don’t exist
• anyone who thinks ace/aro people don’t belong in the LGBT+ community
• Autism Speaks and ABA supporters
• transphobes & TERFs
• white supremacists
• “alpha male” dudes
~Some facts about me~
• My pronouns are she/they
• You may call me either by my pen name, Moira Bard, or by my chosen name, Luna. I will answer to both.
• I have… four indoor cats. Yes, I know that’s a lot of cats. Taming and caring for the feral gremlins in my neighborhood has become a hobby
• I’m autistic
• I’m also a visually impaired person with albinism
• chronic illnesses? Got those, too. I’m a party, truly.
• I enjoy mythology, folklore, fairytales, and world history
• I identify as queer
• Aside from writing, I enjoy editing fiction, studying herbalism, singing, stage-acting, studying astrology, graphic design, interior design, crafting with modeling clay, sketching, watercolors, practicing tarot, and baking
• Is my goal to traditionally publish? Not sure. Currently, the plan is to do those things which bring me the most joy— and that includes storytelling
• I’m In my mid-20s, but I’m secretly an ancient hermit hidden in a stone cottage, nestled in a dark wood untouched by sunlight and civilization. Through some arcane magic I shan’t divulge there is indeed an internet connection.
I am open to:
character voice-act ✅
Beta-read ✅
Proofread ✅
(Amateur) developmental edit ✅
(Amateur) line edit ✅
Sensitivity read ✅
Positivity pass ✅
Critique swap ✅
Create book and character playlists ✅ (search the tag “songs for playlists” for examples)
Design book banners, covers, and other graphics ✅ (search the tag “my art” for examples)
My asks and inbox are both open!
About My Writing & Related Topics
• I’m a plotter, though I’ve recently been straying from adhering to a strict outline and allowing the characters and my own whims to dictate the story
• I write mostly fantasy and sci fi for adults and young adults
• I would like to indie publish at some point— though I’m in no rush. For now, I write because I can’t not tell stories
• I’m also adapting some public domain works into scripts, mostly because my friends and I need fresh audition pieces
• I draft with scrivener and speech-to-text software
• my pen name is Moira Bard. I chose it because it evokes a sense of ethereal whimsy— two words I feel encompass my energy quite nicely
• I prefer comments and reblogs over likes— but don’t let me tell you how to writeblr. All interactions are appreciated!
Here are my 2024 writing goals
~My WiPs~
Lost Souls’ Night Series
Genres: mythic fantasy, YA
Current Stage: draft of book 1 shelved for later edits; plotting books 3-5
WiP Tags: wip: lsn
Read the wip intro!
Character Masterpost
Cultures Masterpost
Locations Masterpost
Religions Masterpost
Excerpt 1
Potent Poison, Treasured Tonic (Her Enchanted Garden Series, Book One)
Genres: new adult, urban portal fantasy
Current Stage: world-building, plotting, and character development in progress
WiP Tags: wip: pptt
Character Masterpost
Faerie Courts Masterpost
Faerie Religion Masterpost
Read the wip intro!
The Bloody Divine (Unholy Covenant Duology, Book One)
Genres: gothic fantasy, horror, adult, romance
Current stage: 2/3 of the first draft written; book 2 is 20% outlined
WiP Tags: wip: tbd
Read the wip intro!
Character Masterpost
Religions Masterpost
Locations Masterpost
Shadefyre (Lost in the Witherwoods Series, Book One)
Genres: new adult, fantasy
Current stage: character development and world building; first 4 books 50% outlined
WiP Tags: wip: ww
Read the wip intro!
Character Masterpost
Religions Masterpost
Locations Masterpost
Species Mastetpost
Learn about the covens
Zenith Code (City of Crystal and Chrome Duology, Book One)
Genres: sci fi, dystopia, YA
Current stage: worlsbuilding, character development; detailed outline 75% done. Two books set in this world are 50% outlined.
WiP Tags: wip: zc
Read the wip intro!
Character Masterpost
Hunting Ground (a Noble Dragons novel)
Genres: romantasy, adult
Current stage: draft 1 is done
WiP Tags: wip: hg
Read the wip intro!
Character Masterpost
Clans Masterpost
Creatures of Fate Series
Genre: romantasy, adult
Current Stage: drafting book 1
Wip Tags: Wip: CoF
Intro to Book One coming soon!
Meet Book One’s MC!
~ My socials ~
Find me on Spotify
Find m on Pinterest
Find me on tiktok
Find me on ig under the_moondust_bard
Here’s my “writing playlist resources” Spotify account
Feel free to tag me in ask games and interactive posts!
~Resources I’ve Made~
Songs for playlists masterpost
Blurb Writing Tips
Writer’s Guide to Conquering Executive Dysfunction
I co-run moon+seraph — a blog dedicated to encouraging and supporting the writing community here on tumblr
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND that my blindness makes me reliant on screen readers— you might also know this as text-to-speexh software. I use this tech to make tumblr more accessible to ne. One of the limits of the tech I use is that hashtags aren’t picked up and read to me. Please be aware that any messages left for me to read in the tags of a post… well, won’t be. I can’t see them and my tech won’t read them. I prefer feedback be left in comments and the text area on posts and revblogs for this reason.
#writers of tumblr#writing community#writeblr#looking for writer friends#writers on tumblr#my wips#writeblr introduction
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PC-Bot (2004) by White Box Robotics, Ottowa, Canada. The PC-Bot uses PC based hardware and a system of easily accessible trays to mount custom hardware. The 912 is designed from the start to be “cut, drilled, painted, accessorized, and modded!” while the 914 released in 2007 (second and subsequent images) is engineered almost entirely from industry standard PC hardware. “The 9-series robot isn't merely a cold conglomeration of sheet metal and electronics. It's a companion we've longed to know all our lives and we have deliberately engineered real emotion into the metal and the plastics in order to evoke a positive and energy-charged human response. At White Box, we understand - it’s about the turn of the wrench, the feel of the screwdriver in your hand… working with earthly elements - copper, steel, silver, lead, and oil that is this spectacular machine. It's about manipulating these materials in such a way to create quality of life at the end of a digital stream for a real person. We have opened the hardware and the software to you so that you can build this modern machine and watch it live, move, interact with the world. For just an intoxicating second it takes you somewhere else. We hope you feel shifted…suspended, briefly glancing twenty-five years into the future. Somehow you've had the privilege to build a machine that feels so miracously alive!”
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F-22 Retirement in 2030 Unlikely as USAF Looks to Spend $7.8 Billion on It Before Then
March 27, 2024 | By John A. Tirpak
The Air Force seems to be rethinking its plan to start retiring the F-22 around 2030, as its spending plans for the air dominance fighter go well beyond that date, according to the service’s fiscal 2025 budget request.
The Air Force’s planned F-22 budget through fiscal year 2029 includes $4.7 billion for procurement and $3.1 for research, development, test, and evaluation, for a total of $7.8 billion. While the RDT&E line closes out in FY29, procurement beyond that date—labeled “to completion” in budget documents—comes to $1.2 billion.
Senior Air Force leaders have described the F-22 program now through 2030 as a “bridge” to the Next-Generation Air Dominance Fighter and its family of systems, and several have said that the technologies being developed for the F-22 in its waning service years will be directly applicable to NGAD.
The budget assumes the F-22 fleet will be reduced by 32 aircraft, to about 153 airplanes, but the documents say only 142 will receive the full lineup of improvements.
The 32 jets the Air Force wants to divest are of the Block 20 configuration, and Air Force Secretary Frank Kendall has said it would cost upwards of $50 million each to bring them up to Block 30, the most up-to-date standard. The Air Force prefers to spend that money making the younger models more capable against the anticipated threat; mainly the air-to-air challenge posed by China’s fifth-generation fighters and advanced air-to-air missiles.
The Air Force has also said that a congressional mandate to upgrade the older F-22s—which have been used only as training jets—couldn’t be accomplished until it was almost time to retire them. They would also need all the new capabilities the F-22 is receiving, to preserve fleet standardization, at even greater cost.
Pentagon officials agreed that, despite the urgency of the threat, it would be foolish to upgrade the F-22s at such expense and retire them a few months later. One said that the timing of the F-22’s retirement “hasn’t been decided … and it depends on progress with NGAD” and other factors.
Budget justification documents for the F-22 say that the procurement activities over the next five years will upgrade “the air vehicle, engine, Operational Flight Program (OFP), and training systems to improve F-22 weapons, communications, navigation, pilot-vehicle interface, and electronic warfare suite.”
Updates called out in the documents show the Air Force is giving the F-22 stealthy, range-extending drop tanks, infrared sensors, identification, friend-or-foe improvements, better Link 16 connectivity, software upgrades, and electronic warfare and navigation enhancements, as well as new weapons and hardware changes to make it more reliable and available.
The long-range tanks and infrared systems were revealed in artwork released by Air Combat Command in mid-2022, without explanation at the time. Test aircraft sporting the new underwing tanks and IR sensors have since been photographed near western test ranges, but the Air Force has declined to discuss them.
Among the new capabilities being prepared for the F-22 Raptor are the still-classified AIM-260 Joint Advanced Tactical Missile, evoked here in an image released in 2022 by Gen. Mark Kelly, head of Air Combat Command. Developed by Lockheed Martin, JATM is an air-to-air weapon designed to attack targets beyond visual range. It is needed to counter China’s next-generation PL-15 weapon. USAF illustration
The budget documents say the critical design review for the stealthy tanks took place in early 2023 and that technology demonstrations have been underway since. “Required Assets Available” with the tanks, which usually translates to initial operational capability, is set for the second quarter of fiscal 2026.
The infrared detection system (IRDS), which is likely to be the two slender, chiseled pods on the outer wing of the F-22 in the artwork, will enter full-up flight test in the first quarter of fiscal 2026. Production is to begin in early 2028, with deliveries the following year.
A sensor enhancement package for the F-22 includes IRST and possibly radar and other detection systems. Together, they will “improve the F-22’s sensing and tracking and ensures Air Superiority by preserving the first-look, first-shot and first-kill capabilities of the 142 Block 30/35 F-22 aircraft,” according to the justifications.
“The first 71 Sensor Enhancements Group A kits were purchased under F-22’s Rapid Fielding Middle Tier Acquisition (MTA) program authority,” the Air Force said. The new sensors are slated for flight demonstration in FY24. A follow-on production decision is scheduled to follow closely. Developmental Test and Evaluation is scheduled for the third quarter of FY25, and in the last quarter of FY26, Operational Test and Evaluation will begin.
The low-drag tank and pylons “are advanced technological designs” which will “minimally increase drag” while permitting longer range, even at supersonic speed, for the F-22.
“The pylons are equipped with smart rack pneumatic technology to accurately control ejection performance and maintain minimum drag without stores,” the documents said.
The program calls for 286 each of the tanks and pylons—enough to fully equip 143 jets, at two for each jet. They have to work at a speed of at least Mach 1.2. Wind tunnel and ground tests were completed in fiscal 2023, and flight testing is targeted to begin in the second quarter of fiscal 2024, shortly after which a critical design review is scheduled. The initial lots will be bought later in FY24. Developmental and operational testing is set to conclude in mid-fiscal 2026, with required assets available soon after.
The F-22 will also get a new Controlled Reception Pattern Antenna to help it navigate in a “GPS-degraded environment,” and achieve resilient position, navigation and timing. Retrofits will be made on 142 F-22s, of which 27 will be operated by the Air National Guard. There will be a production readiness review in June of this year, and flight testing starts in early 2025.
A series of reliability, availability, and maintainability program (RAMP) initiatives meant to make the F-22 more ready when needed are also in the funding plan. Candidates were selected for their ability to rapidly reduce maintenance workload or increased durability of the F-22’s stealth features. There is “high variability in the number of projects and kit quantities,” the Air Force said in its budget justification books.
“The RAMP program includes funding for retrofit installation labor and modifications which address corrosion, reduce maintenance hours, increase safety and provide urgent response requirements identified by the user to the F-22 fleet,” the Air Force said. These projects are also addressing safety-of-flight issues and to ease “technology insertion.” One such program replaces old fiber-optic cabling; another for a “Low Observable Mighty Tough Boot … leads to an estimated three percent increase in aircraft reliability.”
What was originally an ad-hoc Link 16 connectivity program now gives the F-22 a transmit/receive capability with Link 16 rehosted to a system that also plugs it into the Multi-functional Information Distribution Service/Joint Tactical Radio System (MIDS/JTRS), with an open architecture to speed insertion of new capabilities.
Much of the F-22 RDT&E request is for software to integrate and exploit all the new sensors and equipment the fleet will receive. The Air Force is attempting to “leverage commercially-based agile software and hardware best practices and tools” to speed the introduction of new capabilities. It’s also funding Software Integration Labs for most of the specific systems.
Other RDT&E efforts include cryptographic upgrades, technology demonstrations, “threat modeling support,” engine enhancements cybersecurity and open mission system (OMS) integration. Software is to be delivered “using a scheduled cadence for capabilities as they mature.”
The RDT&E program also includes “Project Geyser,” described as an “advanced capability” that will be assessed for “fielding configuration options.” No details were given about this project, but there will be “continued flight demonstrations and … test fleet modification into planned production configuration” in fiscal 2025.
@AirandSpaceForces.com via X
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Sleep Token: A Mesmerizing Discography of Harmony and Depth
In an era where musical cohesion and thematic storytelling within albums seem to have taken a backseat, Sleep Token emerges as a breath of fresh air. Their discography, consisting of "One," "Two," "Sundowning," "This Place Will Be Your Tomb," and "Take Me Back to Eden," stands as a testament to the band's unwavering commitment to crafting aural experiences that transcend the ordinary.
The journey through Sleep Token's discography is akin to embarking on a profound spiritual odyssey. From the hauntingly ethereal "One" to the enigmatic "Two," the groundwork for their sonic universe is laid. However, it's in the final trilogy – the awe-inspiring progression from "Sundowning" to "This Place Will Be Your Tomb" and culminating in "Take Me Back to Eden" – that the band's genius truly shines.
It's an experience like no other to listen to this trilogy in succession. The albums are woven with a meticulous thread, each song seamlessly transitioning into the next, creating a coherent narrative that's both immersive and captivating. It's a rarity in today's music landscape to find albums that not only possess individual standouts but also present a holistic journey where each track complements the others, all working together to amplify the overarching theme.
At the heart of Sleep Token's captivating allure lies the extraordinary songwriting prowess of their enigmatic lead singer, Vessel. With an uncanny ability to delve deep into the recesses of human emotion, Vessel crafts lyrics that resonate on a profoundly personal level. His songwriting transcends conventional boundaries, exploring themes of spirituality, vulnerability, and the human experience with a poetic eloquence that leaves an indelible mark. The lyrical tapestries he weaves evoke a sense of introspection, drawing listeners into a world of intricate narratives and haunting melodies. Vessel's gift for storytelling, coupled with his literal emotive delivery, results in songs that not only captivate the ear but also touch the soul, leaving a lasting imprint that lingers long after the music fades.
An integral facet that elevates Sleep Token's discography to unparalleled heights is the impeccable music production and audio engineering work contributed by the talents of Carl Brown from Treehouse Studios and George Lever of G1 Productions. Their collaborative efforts have played a pivotal role in bringing the band's vision to life, with every note and nuance meticulously crafted. The albums bear testament to their skilful touch, as each instrument resonates with clarity, and every whisper of Vessel's vocals is imbued with raw emotion. Brown and Lever's expertise acts as the invisible hand that guides the listener through the intricacies of Sleep Token's ethereal soundscapes, making the auditory journey as enchanting as it is immersive.
When it comes to translating their studio brilliance into live performances, Sleep Token is nothing short of exceptional. The band's stage presence is mesmerizing, drawing the audience into their spellbinding world. Perhaps even more astonishing is the fact that Vessel's vocals remain untouched by the heavy hand of autotune or vocal correction software. His voice, heard live, is a mirror image of what you've come to adore from their recordings, showcasing the band's authenticity and musicianship.
A noteworthy aspect of Sleep Token's artistry is their visual identity, thoughtfully brought to life recently by Alex Tillbrook Design. The graphics for their albums and merchandise resonate harmoniously with their musical essence. The attention to detail is evident, reflecting the band's commitment to a holistic experience that extends beyond just the auditory realm.
In a musical landscape dominated by singles and fleeting trends, Sleep Token's discography stands as a masterpiece of cohesion, depth, and unadulterated passion. Their commitment to crafting albums that weave a seamless tapestry of themes and emotions harks back to a time when the 90s music scene was known for its dedication to storytelling through albums.
I am deeply enamoured by the captivating allure of Sleep Token's enigmatic anonymity, a sentiment beautifully encapsulated in their profound statement, "Our identities are unimportant. Music is marketed on who is or isn't in a band; it's pushed, prodded, and molded into something it isn't. Vessel endeavours to keep the focus on His offerings." Within the realm of Sleep Token's music, the conventional fixation on individual personas is gracefully set aside, allowing the divine essence of their artistry to take center stage.
This intentional detachment from personal identities enables a pure connection with their music, permitting listeners like yourself and myself to be swept away by the ethereal melodies without the distractions of the mundane world. As I immerse myself in the mystique of Sleep Token, I find solace in the idea that their music is an offering, a sacred creation meant to transcend the limitations of the known, inviting us to experience a profound and unifying journey guided solely by the resonating notes and unspoken emotions.
As a dedicated listener, I can't help but yearn for the day when I can witness Sleep Token's magic on stage in person. The anticipation of their live performance is enough to send shivers down the spine. And as the music world eagerly awaits their future creations, there's a sense of excitement and curiosity about where their artistic journey will lead. Here's to hoping for a chance to witness Sleep Token's live magic and to eagerly awaiting the next chapter in their evolving musical saga 🥂.
(All images taken from their facebook page and, my guess, by their touring photographer Adam Rossi)
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Hope I can produce an album of this magnitude some day. - worship - Murdered Doubt
#sleep token#sleep token worship#sleep token vessel#sleep token ii#sleep token iii#sleep token iv#sleep token one ep#sleep token two ep#sleep token sundowning#sleep token this place will be your tomb#sleep token take me back to eden#sleep token live#sleep token review
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