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#David tennant and Michael sheen I am so sorry

avocado-writing · 9 months

Text

notes: okay. this is the double ball gag fic. it also has crowley & aziraphale manifesting vaginas but still being male presenting bc nonbinary angels/demons can do what they want. everyone has sex very gender nonconformingly.

pairing: crowley x reader x aziraphale. Dom!Reader, Sub!Crowley/Aziraphale

words: 1.6k

rating: E, minors DNI (dom/sub; shibari; overstimulation; aftercare)

if you like my work here’s my kofi!

Outside of Aziraphale’s bookshop London is busy. People walk with purpose and without care, bumping shoulders and swapping unpleasantries. Outside they’re human: crass, bitter, small.

That’s only if you’re being damning though. They’re also wonderful, bright, and marvellous. Something you’ve not quite reconciled within yourself. You’ve lived longer than any of them, so you’re not exactly a human, but neither are you like your lovers: able to change your body with just a thought and a click. Sometimes you wish you had what Aziraphale and Crowley had. Other times, you resign yourself to what you are, and be glad they can make up the other pieces.

The tea brews, and you think about the first time you saw both of them with vulvas.

For Crowley, it was quite soon after the three of you found each other again. Aziraphale was off on business and, given that you were still in the honeymoon decade, you and Crowley couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. You had him in bed, pulling off his doublet and hose, unwrapping him like a present that was still a surprise even when you knew what the contents were.

Only that time it was a surprise, because instead of a cock between his legs, you found a willing and wet cunt.

“Oh!”

“Oh?” Crowley had asked, then seemed to remember and looked down. “Oh, yes. I felt like it today. Is that a problem?”

“Never,” you’d said, and slipped your fingers inside of him.

Aziraphale changed himself around in that manner less than Crowley did. He was a creature of habit and more importantly a creature of comfort, if he was happy in how he looked it wasn’t often he’d alter it. But you remember, in seventeen-fifty, the day he — she — had walked down the stairs in her rococo dress with its risqué neckline, gorgeous blonde hair in tight curls around her heart-shaped face. She had taken your breath away.

“Aziraphale, you’re beautiful.”

She lit up like the sun on a clear day.

That night you’d both taken her to bed and found her pretty pussy in her fair nest of hairs. She’d cried out as Crowley sheathed himself inside her, and afterwards as you covered her opening with your mouth to taste what Crowley had left.

Yes. You’d learned not to expect anything when it came to getting them into bed. But, usually, when you propose an idea to them, they’re more than happy to indulge in it. Especially when you use that voice. That voice which promises they’re going to be shaking messes by the time you’re done with them.

Your timer beeps and you jump. Half an hour. It’s probably been long enough. You take the tray of tea and head upstairs.

They’re in the bedroom, exactly where you left them, which is good - it means they didn’t try to miracle out of their bindings. Which you told them, if they did, they’d be in trouble for. And not the fun kind of trouble either, with the whipped cream.

The bench only comes out on special occasions but you’ve had it for years. Leather, very easily wiped clean. Which is good especially for where you’ve got them at the moment.

What a pretty scene: they’re strapped to it, both of them, bodies pressed uncomfortably close together. There are three things preventing them from moving apart. One: the way you’ve bound their ankles and hands behind them to the bench effectively sealing them in place with the shibari rope; two: the fact the nipple clamps you’ve put on them are threaded together and to pull only leads to tugging; and three: the fact you’ve got them strapped to either side of a double ball gag.

As they hear you enter the room their eyes turn to you desperately. You take a moment to sear the filthy picture into your mind. Two of them trapped in a faux kiss, spit escaping their mouths and dripping down between them. And, between their legs, you can hear the humming of the hitachi wands you rigged to press mercilessly into both their clits.

Half an hour they’ve been here for. You’ve tried this before in the early noughties back when they both had cocks. They’d both tapped out though (and you let them, you weren’t heartless). It was just too sensitive. A cunt, though? That can take a pounding and keep on going.

Yes. Half an hour. You’ve left them for half an hour with no other instructions than “keep track of how many times the other one comes.”

You’d whipped Crowley’s glasses off first, though, just to make sure he didn’t try to hide anything. And that makes him look more naked than the fact he doesn’t have a shred of clothing on. You put down the tea and approach them. You can hear the harmony of their laboured breathing; inhalations they don’t need to take but do so anyway to calm themselves through the overstimulation. Crowley’s let loose a couple of tears but Aziraphale is a mess, pink and flushed, crying hard, hair stuck slick to his forehead. You tenderly wipe it free for him.

“Aziraphale, you’re beautiful,” you whisper. Even strung out on pleasure and with his mouth stopped by rubber Crowley manages a harrumph. You roll your eyes affectionately.

“Yes, you are too, big boy.”

You pull back and cross your arms, switching back to business.

“Alright. One at a time I’m going to ask you to blink how many times you saw the other one come. You first, Crowley.”

Crowley looks you dead in the eyes and blinks five times. You make a mental note and turn to your angel.

“Go on now, your turn.”

Through the tears Aziraphale gives you seven blinks. Your eyebrows raise.

“Incredible. You must be sore, Crowley.”

Crowley makes a little noise in the back of his throat. You reach down between Aziraphale’s legs and turn off the vibrator. He chokes against the gag in relief, sucking in a deep, calming breath through his nose. Crowley looks hopeful but you make no move to do the same for him.

Carefully you remove the ball from their mouths, undo the clamps. You listen to them both groan and stretch their jaws to get the feeling back. You undo some of Aziraphale’s ropes to allow him a little more slack and comfort, but most importantly so that he’s able to lie backwards.

They’re messes. Spit soaks their chest having dripped down from the gag, forcibly smeared between them due to their proximity. You turn to Crowley.

“Alright now, darling. Clean him up.”

He looks confused, dazed, all of his attention still on his cunt. He wiggles his hands only to find them still trapped. You reach out and open his mouth for him, pressing your thumb between his lips.

“With your tongue, darling. Go on. Be a good boy, and I’ll turn it off.”

“Fuck,” Crowley manages, before reaching over to Aziraphale. You watch him work him over, licking him clean from the mixture of sweat and spit, enjoying the way the angel’s eyes roll back in his head at the feeling of his husband’s tongue. When you believe Crowley has done a thorough enough job you manoeuvre Aziraphale down even further, supporting him as he lies on his back and spreads his legs. His pussy is a puffy pink and glistening with come. You nod the demon towards it.

“Little more, Crowley.”

He finds just enough room in his binds to lean forward and press his mouth to Aziraphale’s entrance, his tongue licking careful stripes over the angel’s lips. Aziraphale cries out as his poor cunt is once again wracked with pleasure, and you undo his ropes to allow for him to slip one hand free and bury it in your clothes for support. His chest hitches beautiful, back a gorgeous arch.

You hold him, gripping him through it, until Crowley is done.

“You’re so good for me,” you whisper to him, sliding your finger into his red locks and pulling his head back gently to face you. His eyes are wide and exhausted, but full of satisfaction as you finally turn his hitachi off. You kiss him, long and slow, touching your tongue against his and tasting Aziraphale off his lips.

Finally done, finally spent, you begin to dismantle the set-up. Yes, they could miracle themselves free, but that takes away from the intimacy of it. The care. They collapse in your arms as you undo the ropes and you help them over to the bed, massaging the feeling back into their limbs. All the while you pepper them with kisses and praises both, telling them how well they did, how good they are.

“Tea or water?” you ask them both. The unanimous response is ‘tea’, so you bring it over to them from your tray. As they drink it down — well, what you’ve made them do is thirsty work — you head into the en-suite and grab a wet flannel. They nuzzle into each other as you begin to wipe them down, clear the sweat and stickiness from their bodies. When you reach between Crowley’s legs he hisses and you stop.

“Sore?”

“Mmm.”

“I'm sorry darling. But was it good?”

He nods enthusiastically, pressing his face into the soft space between Aziraphale’s neck and shoulder.

Later, you’ll run them a bath, take your time washing them down with the nice body soak. You’ll discuss the whole scene and hear with enthusiasm that it’s something they’d like to do again; Crowley’s pretty sure he can last longer next time. You’ll take them downstairs and make dinner and collapse into a cuddly pile on the sofa, watching that show you all like from the eighties.

But for now you let them rest, sitting at the head of the bed to stroke their hair, and being there if they need anything in the world.

#David tennant and Michael sheen I am so sorry #But also not that sorry #crowley x reader x aziraphale #good omens x reader #ineffable husbands x reader #fic: the light the dark and the spaces inbetween

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raz-writes-the-thing · 7 months

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Demon's Blood

Aziraphale x Crowley x Fem!Vampire!Reader - 18+ ONLY

Summary: Part two to Angel's Blood. You've tried Aziraphale. It's high time you tried Crowley, too.

CW: blood, bloodplay, knifeplay (only a smidge and it's barely play), wrist cutting (for snack purposes), choking, p in v, fingering, dom/sub dynamics, Dom!Crowley, Switch!Aziraphale, degradation.

Requests are: open and encouraged

Gomens tag list: @coffee-and-red-lipstick @quickslvxrr (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

Vamp!Reader tag list: @purplefrog1sblog (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

___ ___ ___ ___ ___

You’re not sure, but you think they may have planned this, not by starving you, of course- or removing your food sources, but, by just… waiting for the right moment to strike.

And it would be a blatant lie if you had said that you hadn’t been thinking about the way you ground an orgasm out on Aziraphale’s thigh while drinking down his blood (it would also be a lie to say Aziraphale and Crowley hadn’t been thinking about the same with regularity) more often than you should. Thinking about it late at night when you couldn’t sleep (not that you needed to sleep at all, of course) you’d gotten yourself off to the thought of it more than once. A lot more than once if you were completely honest with yourself.

Since you’d fed from Aziraphale, your relationship with the Angel and Demon had changed quite a lot. Gone were the days of quiet platonic contemplation in each others’ presence. Now there were days of stolen kisses, picnics in the park, and theatre shows. Days of mind-blowing sex, too. That was also now a regular occurrence- and one you were not going to complain about any time soon and neither were they, just quietly.

You hadn’t fed from him since, as you hadn’t really needed to. That was changing, though. You were beginning to grow hungry again, beginning to feel your cells fizzling and dying. At least this time you were in the early stages of hunger and not leaving it until the brink of desperation to actually do something about it.

Your partners had also clearly started to notice the way your eyes would dilate at the scent of blood. The little sharp gasps you’d make when someone would get a papercut across the street, or when someone scraped their knee. You would never feed from someone innocent, you all knew that. But it didn’t change the visceral reaction you had to the smell either.

Tonight, however, blood was the last thing you had on your mind. Sure, the need was always lingering under the surface, waiting for you to snap and feed to your undead heart's content- but it was also extremely hard to focus when you were laying on top of Aziraphale with his cock rubbing up against the crack of your ass and his thick, warm fingers prying your legs up and apart.

Aziraphale was peppering kisses all over your neck, whispering sweet nothings as his grip tightened on the meat of your thighs. Crowley was currently in the midst of burying his fingers as deep into your cunt as he possibly could. In and out, twisting and stretching your hole without mercy.

You’re doing your best not to snap your hips up off the bed, and Aziraphale is whispering sweet and filthy praise into your ears as a reward. When his tongue rakes up the shell of your ear you whine loudly.

“What’s the matter, Pet?” Crowley asks, slinking over you to nip at your jaw. “This not enough for you?”

Your face screws up with pleasure as Aziraphale grinds his heavy cock against the small of your spine. You know he’s loving this, the little shit. Aziraphale, you had figured out- liked the teasing. He loved to make himself wait, to get just enough pleasure to keep him going before being able to truly let go.

“Mm- please?” You ask, forcing your eyes to open and focus on the Demon currently paying deft attention to your nipples with his forked tongue.

“Actually, dear-” Aziraphale pipes up softly, giving your thighs a yank when he notices that they’re starting to slip closed again. “We rather thought we might try something new tonight.”

Crowley’s brow arches deviously. “If you’re interested, of course,” the Demon says innocently, forcing himself to quit tonguing your nipple.

“What did you- oh- have in mind?” You ask, jumping when Crowley gives your nipple a harsh pinch just for the fun of it.

The Demon’s lips curl into a knowing grin. A grin you’ve come to know quite well over the last few centuries, although not something you’re entirely familiar with in this current scenario. Your pussy clenches around nothing, and you wiggle back against Aziraphale’s cock, who gasps behind you.

Crowley leans over you to the bedside table, giving you the perfect opportunity to press a sharp bite into his side. He chuckles, and Aziraphale gives your thigh a vaguely scolding pat. When he returns to sit back on his haunches, he hides what he has behind his back.

“Toys aren’t something you need to hide from me, Crowley, dear. I may have been born in the sixteenth century, but that doesn’t mean I’m a sixteenth-century prude either.” You bat your eyes at him for emphasis and he just ignores you, launching right into a new question.

“Mm, right- are you hungry?”

Now this does confuse you. Hungry? Yes, always, and quite frankly the reminder of your current lack of blood supply is not helping the intimate mood as much as you’d like it to.

“Y-yes?” You supply. Zira noses at your ear, making dark and heated eye contact with the Demon over your shoulder.

“Well, see- the Angel and I were thinking,” Crowley said, twiddling the item behind his back in his hands for a moment. “If you wanted to try, erm, the other side of the Canal, so to speak.”

One of Aziraphale’s hands slides down from where he’s holding you open to rub as best he can at your clit from that angle. Your eyes flutter and the muscles in your now free leg groan in protest as you stretch it back out.

“Not too far, dearest,” Aziraphale interjects. “We’re going to need that back there in a moment.”

You’re not sure what to make of this, but you can’t deny the way your pussy clenches at the thought of trying Demon’s blood. Particularly after knowing how Angel’s blood had worked on you.

“What have you got behind your back, Crowley?”

He pulls the object out and into view. You recognise it immediately. A blade. A delicate little thing, curved at the tip. It looks like something Crowley’s taken good care of for quite some time.

“You like it?” He asks, twirling the sharp thing in his fingers. “They don’t make ‘em like this anymore, do they?”

You shake your head. They definitely didn’t.

Crowley took the blade and set it aside for a moment, shuffling forward to sit closer between your legs. You eye his cock as he takes it in hand. He nudges Zira’s fingers away from your clit, who splutters at the ridiculousness of the act and Crowley replaces them with the head of his cock.

He’s still holding it in place as he rubs himself against your clit, little gasps escaping you both. Your thighs twitch with pleasure and pain as Aziraphale goes back to holding them both in place.

The Angel can’t help but rock himself against you, pre-cum leaking onto your skin. The slide of his cock against your arse, and Crowley’s cock against your clit makes you shiver, head falling back onto Aziraphale’s shoulder.

“Oh, she likes that,” Aziraphale pants, fingers leaving red marks on your skin. You can’t help but let the little shy whimper out. Crowley snickers mockingly, slapping the head of his cock against your clit a few times.

“Be a dear,” Crowley said, reaching for your hand and placing it above his length. “Hold that there, eh, love?”

You blush at the request, placing the flat of your hand over him so he can continue to rub his cock into your clit while he reaches once again for the blade. The feel of his cock sliding against your folds and your hand has you writhing.

Crowley takes the blade and trails it down your chest, hips stuttering just a little when you swell with intrigue. Oh, this was looking interesting indeed.

“Didn’t fail to notice, Pet,” he emphasises the ‘t’. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Didn’t I?” You pant back, rolling your hips against his cock. Aziraphale groans at the friction. Crowley hums a ‘no’ at you, and you grin. “Yes, dear- I’m hungry.”

Your Angel and Demon take this as word enough, and Crowley takes his blade and his wrist and raises it above your body. He gives you one more heated look before slicing the skin there softly, a little ‘oh’ as fat drops of blood slither down his skin and drip off onto your body.

Pat. A drop lands on your chin. Pat. Another on your chest. Pat, pat. More down your tummy and then- pat, pat, pat. Drips landing on the hand keeping Crowley in place. You can smell it, sweet notes of cedar. You feel out the points of your fangs with your tongue. Crowley clocks the motion and grins, allowing some more of his blood to drip onto your fingertips. Pat, pat.

He moves your hand, raising it to your lips.

“Go on,” he tempts. “Have a taste, hey?”

You glance between your bloodied fingers and Crowley’s heated smirk. Not breaking eye contact, you slide your fingers to your mouth. The first taste of his blood on your tongue feels charged, almost electric. Oh, this was definitely different from Angel’s blood.

Your lips wrap around your fingers and you begin to suck them clean. Crowley places one hand around the base of his cock and slaps your clit a few more times, groaning as pre-cum beads at the tip.

While Aziraphale tasted of peonies and ink, Crowley tasted of grapes and smoke with the obligatory iron that followed. God, they both tasted divine. Your tongue wrapped around your fingers and cleaned off the last traces. Your eyes flicked to the drop on your chest, which you swipe onto your forefinger and promptly suck clean.

“Oh, Crowley,” you moan. He’s got a wicked grin plastered across his features.

“Good, then, I take it?”

You nod, already starting to feel the effects of the blood in your system. Cells coming back alive, energy returning but there’s something else too. You’ve only had a few drops so you can’t be sure yet, but it almost feels like your blood is heating under your skin.

Your eyes flick to his dripping wrist, and you allow a soft “more, please?” to convey just how much you desired to taste him. Crowley acquiesces, presenting you with his slick wrist. You take it softly with both hands, pressing your lips to the cut and laving your tongue over it to collect any and all of the blood that has leaked out.

Once you’ve done this, you brush your fangs over the soft skin, completely lost to anything else at that moment other than the fact that you were finally feeding.

It’s as you begin sucking anew on the cut and properly feeding that Crowley sinks his cock inside you. You gap, eyes fluttering shut as he sinks all the way to the hilt. Aziraphale lets out a few breathy moans at the sight and adjusts himself so that it is now his knees and thighs locking yours open for your Demon.

This leaves Aziraphale’s hands free. He stretches them to get the ache out before caressing up and down your thighs and sides. He squeezes at your hips and whispers in your ear about how gorgeous you look like this.

All of a sudden it hits you- Crowley’s blood. Demon’s blood. Demon blood which was once Angel’s blood. You moan wantonly as the effects start to pile up. Crowley’s blood was an aphrodisiac just like Aziraphale’s, yes, but there was something different about it. The way it was electrically charged, singeing your nerves and setting them alight at the same time. The way it felt as though the blood might be roiling with heat in your veins. Oh, this was definitely new. It was like… Crowley’s blood was just laced with pure sin. Or perhaps it was just pure unadulterated sin. Period.

All you knew was that your thoughts were fading into lustful madness, and you forced yourself to break away from his wrist long enough to let out a dangerously needy growl. Crowley arched his brow and pulled his hips back so he could slam them inside again.

Your mouth dropped open in pleasure, and the force of the thrust pressed you back against your Angel, who moaned loudly in your ear. You reached behind you with one hand to pull at Aziraphale’s hair. You couldn’t see it, but given the look Crowley had on his face, the Angel was making an expression that could easily have been branded as pure lust. The whimper that followed also gave you that impression.

Once the shock of Crowley’s movements had passed, you pulled his wrist back to your lips. You grazed your fangs over a section of skin that was unharmed and waited for Crowley’s permission. Sure, the cut was there, but there was nothing quite like the feeling of flesh splitting beneath your fangs. It satisfied that primal urge like no other.

Crowley nodded and his hips stuttered with pleasure as you bit down. He moaned, his other arm wobbling as he tried to keep himself up as you started feeding in earnest. That might have something to do with the venom that is secreted from your fangs when you feed. Nothing toxic, of course. It was just meant for numbing the pain felt from feeding and replacing it with pleasure, changing what the nerves picked up so that your prey wouldn’t struggle to get away.

After all, why would they if your bite was blinding ecstasy?

Crowley thrust his hips again and set a harsh pace, grunting with pleasure as you fed off him and clenched your pussy around him. You were growing more desperate the more of his blood you drank, blood fizzing in your veins, crackling at your nerves.

“You’re both so gorgeous like this, my darlings,” Aziraphale said softly, skating the tips of his fingers over your hips to squeeze at the bone there possessively. You whined around Crowley’s arm.

Aziraphale’s fingers trailed further along your skin, coming to rest on your clit. He could feel where the two of you were connected and felt around Crowley’s cock as he pounded inside you. That coil was winding tighter in your core, and as Aziraphale began to circle your bundle of nerves, you wondered just how long you were going to last.

Crowley’s blood was sparking inside you, and every tight rub of Aziraphale’s fingers on your clit felt like it was almost too much. It felt as though the raw endings of your nerves were exposed and exploding with every touch.

Without warning, you came screaming, loud wails of pleasure as your body jerked between them. Aziraphale’s legs tightened on yours, keeping you from snapping them closed from the overstimulation.

“Oh, fuck-” Crowley grunted as you clenched down tight on him. He fucked you through the orgasm, not letting up for a moment. And you realised with horror that it had done nothing to quell the ache inside you. In fact, if nothing else, you were desperate for more.

“Harder-” you grunted, abandoning Crowley’s wrist to reach for him, wrapping your arms around his neck. The Demon complied, snapping his hips up against you harder, setting a rougher pace than before. With his other hand free, he was now able to balance himself properly on the bed and get a more comfortable rhythm going. “Fuck, please- harder-”

Crowley chuckled breathily in your ear, nipping at the skin just below it. Aziraphale then slapped your clit without warning, causing you to arch off the bed by the hips and shriek. The Angel laughed lovingly from behind your other ear.

“Oh dear, I rather think she likes that too, don’t you, Crowley?”

Crowley groaned as you clenched down on him once again as Aziraphale repeated the motion.

“Fuck, Pet,” Crowley managed. “Oh, you love being between us like this, don’t you?”

You whimpered, mouth dropping open as you got closer to another orgasm. Your thighs were twitching under Aziraphale’s almost uncontrollably.

“Oh, you do,” Crowley mocked. “You’re so full up on the taste of me that you can’t stand anything other than our cocks on you, fucking you-” You were nodding desperately, scratching your fingers down his back. Crowley was a little bit of a masochist and made sure to never miracle away or let the marks heal for a day or so after you’d given him some so he could enjoy the sting a while longer. He was going to enjoy seeing these in the morning, that was for sure.

“Are you goi-nngh- fuck, going to cum, darling? Already? Poor little thing. Go on, then- cum for us again.”

Your back arches as another orgasm rips its way out of you, more powerful than the one before. You don’t know how to function as the pleasure tears through your nerves like wildfire. You cry out before biting down on the junction of Crowley’s neck. Not to feed, but just to stifle yourself.

Crowley shouts, hips stuttering forward as he finally finishes too, ropes of cum painting your inner walls. He’s panting and burying himself as deeply as he can inside you. The Demon rocks his hips softly against your hips, riding out his pleasure.

You’re whimpering and keening, desperate for more. Crowley must give the Angel a suggestive look, who softly unhooks your legs from his own and starts pressing kisses down your neck, hand coming up to squeeze at your breast.

“My dear, would you be ever so kind as to allow me up?” Aziraphale asks you. You groan with the effort of removing yourself from his chest. It’s a lot of work after having been fucked so thoroughly, but you do it happily for him.

Aziraphale slides out from behind you and Crowley takes his place. You settle back against the Demon and smile tiredly as he places his bony chin down on the top of your head.

Aziraphale spends a moment admiring the view before him before kneeling back down on the bed and positioning himself against your entrance.

“Can I?” He asks, knowing how exhausted and overstimulated you were. You nodded, gasping as Crowley pinches a nipple harshly. You may be tired, but the effects of his blood were still active in your veins.

Aziraphale spends his sweet time sinking inside you. He’s much thicker than Crowley, and the stretch burns pleasurably as he slowly rocks his hips forward. You’re struggling not to squirm under him as he finally bottoms out.

“Crowley, be a dear-” Aziraphale swallows thickly as you clench around him, swollen walls making you feel even tighter than usual. “Wrap that pretty hand around her neck for me?”

“Oh, as you wish, Angel-” Crowley replies, bringing the hand that wasn’t pinching and tugging at your abused nipples to rest on your throat. You whimper and raise your jaw to give him more space. He chuckles knowingly and gives you a quick squeeze.

Aziraphale must like the way that makes you twitch if the way he whimpered was anything to go by.

“Please- Zira, I need you,” you pant, hips now beginning to attempt to rock against him. He moans and thrusts his hips shallowly into you. You gasp, though the intake of air is stolen from you as Crowley tightens his hand once again, cutting off any and all airflow.

Aziraphale can’t hold out any more and begins to snap his hips back and forth, delighting in the way your tummy twitches with the motion. You swear you can feel your clit throbbing and twitching too.

Crowley loosens his grip to allow you to suck half a breath in before taking the choice away again. Now, as a vampire, you don’t technically need to breathe, but old habits die hard, and breathing was still second nature to you, even after all this time.

“Oh, that’s it, Pet,” Crowley says, squeezing your breast with the other hand. “Looking so edible for us, aren’t you?” Aziraphale moans at the Demon’s words, and Crowley tuts.

“Don’t worry, Angel- I haven’t forgotten about you. Pretty thing, isn’t he? Likes to think he’s so innocent, doesn’t he? Did you know,” he pauses for effect, and you can feel the wicked grin from behind you. “This whole thing was his idea. Oh, I know- doesn’t seem like our dear old ‘Ziraphale.”

Aziraphale blushes dark pink, grabbing onto your hip to fuck into you harder. You’re watching him with rapt attention. He does look so pretty like this, so perfect. Angelic. Not that this is a surprise, of course.

“Crowley-” Aziraphale warns halfheartedly. “Please-”

Crowley releases your throat. You suck a deep breath in and reach down to rub at your clit, feeling pressure starting to build once again.

“Please what, Angel? You know you love the praise. Did you know,” he trails off in your ear. “Managed to make him cum untouched from praise once.”

You chuckle airily, though it breaks off into a long moan at the way Aziraphale squeaks and his hips snap forward. You would have to see if that particular event could be replicated.

“Mm, that was a fun day,” Crowley says almost conversationally. “Angel, are you close?”

Aziraphale nods jerkily, fingers leaving red marks on your skin as he begins to chase his orgasm. You know it won’t be long, given how much he had been denied and teased before. You rub your clit faster, in time with his thrusts.

Crowley laughs darkly and tightens his fingers on your throat again. Your head jerks back. A whine attempts to escape you, but can’t do so with the grip Crowley had on you. Aziraphale moans loudly as he reaches ever closer to that peak.

“Alright, now, Pet,” Crowley growls when he can tell the both of you are getting close. You can feel his cum inside you being forced out around Aziraphale’s cock as he fucks you ever deeper. “You’d better cum soon because I won’t be letting go until you do.”

If you had still been human, you might have had bruises on your skin where his fingers pressed into you. You moaned, hips jerking and thighs twitching. There was pressure building in your belly, though it didn’t quite feel as it had before. This was different- oh. Oh.

Your legs jerked as the pressure built up and burst. Liquid gushed out as you squirted onto Aziraphale’s cock and thighs. The Angel let out a sound of surprise before thrusting once, twice ore and cumming, mixing his cum with the Demons’ inside your hole.

You realised that Crowley had let your throat go and was trailing his fingers up and down your cheek comfortingly. This was definitely new. You had never squirted before, and when you managed to open your eyes to look at the Angel, he looked at you with dark, lustful reverence.

“That- you- that was glorious,” he managed to supply. You chuckled tiredly and pulled him in for a kiss. The Angel pushed his tongue into your mouth to dance with yours and you whimpered as the act made your clit twitch with interest.

“My, my,” Crowley said, tilting your head to give him a chaste kiss too when you were done kissing Aziraphale. “You are a dirty thing.”

You sagged against him, muscles giving out. Oh, you were going to sleep well after this.

“I think,” Aziraphale panted, pulling a miracle down from above to clean up the three of you and the bed. “We ought to do that again at some point.”

You groaned and pulled the Angel down on top of you, who let out a startled ‘oof’ sound. You giggled and encouraged the two of them to snuggle with you.

“Mm- sometime,” you agreed, already feeling yourself giving in to the very human impulse of sleep. “Later.”

“Get some sleep, dear,” Aziraphale said softly, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“Mm- we’ll be here,” Crowley added, pressing another kiss to the top of your head.

And you did, and they were.

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sentientsky · 6 months

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Final Fifteen Idiots ft. my actual real-life diary entries from when I was a teenager.

yes i am running out of material, why do you ask?? (This is so embarrassing I’m so sorry in advance aksjakdjskd)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 4)

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casifell · 8 months

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don’t tell her i posted this but here’s my mom’s reaction to the ineffable divorce. stay to the end for her opinion on the ending of season 2 😭 <3 (also we love you neil, but she totally said you are a cunt @neil-gaiman )

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jctblxckheart · 7 months

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Was this not how the ending of Good Omens Season 2 actually went?

#good omens #crowley x aziraphale #aziracrow #IM SO SORRY #I AM BEING SILLY #DO IT AGAIN #david tennant #michael sheen

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stonedonblues · 10 months

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OKAY SO PLS HERE ME OUT I THINK I HAVE SOMETHING

So as we know there is an Archangel, the Angel of Death, called Azrael. Now, Azira from Aziraphale sounds pretty similar to Azrael, right? But then why call him Aziraphale? Well, as we see in this season, he calls himself "Mr Fell", (which not only does it stand for falling, but it refers to a fall happened in the past, so it seems pretty obvious that it's about him leaving the Paradise to live down on earth. This is also very interesting considering that he uses this name with humans).

What i'm trying to say is that his name seems to be "Azira/Azrael (the angel of death) fell".

Also, can we remember that the cafeteria where Metatron buys the coffee is called "Give me coffee or give me death", and Metatron even indulge himself on asking Nina about the name? He literally asks if someone ever asked for death. I think it's clever that the series take its time to emphasize this particular detail, mainly because Metatron is still a misterious character and we really don't understand what that scene was all about yet.

But i don't know what this could mean: we already know that Aziraphale is a cherub and not an archangel, so maybe it's a foreshadowing for something more? Maybe he's not actually Azrael but it's more like a symbolic thing? Idk honestly, just thought this might be interesting

#i don't know if anyone pointed this out yet #i've just came up with this i don't even know how #but hope it makes sense #it's like 3:00 am here maybe i'm just tired #i don't know if this is something that has meaning or not but i want to think that all that thing with the coffee has some meaning #at least a different one that the coffee theory since i don't really believe it #this is my first post but i hope that i've came up with something interesting #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #go #good omens spoilers s2 #lgbt #gay #neil gaiman #michael sheen #david tennant #another interesting thing is that in the italian dub aziraphale is called “azraphale” making it more similar to azrael #also i'm really sorry with my english it's not my first language so i hope everything's clear #yes i've made this account just to post this lol #good omens theory

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neil-gaiman · 3 months

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Hello Neil, my name is Zalean. If you have a few minutes, I wanted to tell you a little story. Not really a question and I’m not sure how to use tumblr but I wanted to say thanks so much for coming to Florida a few months back and talking with Art Spiegelman. It was my first time ever figuring out how to buy tickets for something. I lived in, middle of nowhere, Vermont for most my life and had no idea what I was doing, I had never been to anything before, nothing had made me excited enough to do the 5 hour drive. And then you just appeared 20 minutes away from where I am living now.

See, I was just starting to get to know your books and work because I fell in love with Good Omens so deeply when I discovered it during season twos release. Funny thing is, I knew of you all along without even realizing it, Stardust has been my favorite book and movie since I was a kid because it was my dad’s favorite story. Finding out my two favorite things were actually connected, I started trying to get hands on as many of your books as I could. I hadn’t read in years before finding your books. It was eye opening.

The talk event at the Dr.Phillips Center was sold out by the time I knew about it, someone had asked me if I knew of the event when they saw my Good Omens keychains my mom had made me. I called the box office because there is no harm in asking. I explained how I’m an art student at UCF and desperately wanted to be inspired and learn from you both. The customer service people were amazing and ended up calling me back to get me a seat in the orchestra pit before they were released to the public. I drove alone, I walked there alone, I sat alone, and it was worth it. I was so thankful to get a seat and grateful to my professor who was a bit jealous he didn’t know about it but let me leave class early to go because of course the art professor would be understanding for any learning opportunities in the arts. And it was truly wonderful, it seemed real and that’s what I wanted. I didn’t want a show. I just wanted to hear, in some sense, that you were like everybody else. I brought a notebook and pen for any information or story’s that I thought made a difference to my little life. The other people around were wonderful, you inspire kind people.

Like I said, I had never been to anything like this and I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know you would have signed books and I only found out because the people next to me came in late. I asked them why they brought the books after it was over and the lights turned on. They did look at me like I had three heads for a moment until they realized I didn’t know there were books to buy, they looked kinda sorry for me but they were so nice. I had never really thought about the importance of someone’s scribble before this but it’s something that proves you were there. It says “Remember when this person made you happy? Remember when they changed your life? Remember when they gave you hope? Look at this and remember.” I hope to see David Tennant and Michael Sheen to get an autograph now that I understand the meaning behind it a bit more but honestly I just love diving into everyone’s projects, the wonder you all create. Oh what fun it is to live a life full of stories!

The people that were sitting next to me let me look at their signed books and hold them. I flipped through some of the big ones, handed them back and expressed my gratitude just to be in the theater. I showed them all my little quotes I wrote down, I never want to forget why I create things and you say so much about never stopping, always creating. Then the women handed me a different book, a smaller book, but when I tried to hand it back, a bit confused, she softly placed it back in my open hands and said “I want you to have it, we have plenty and I want you to love these stories just as much as we do. It’s just starting for you, I want you to remember who started it”. The book she handed me being“The Ocean at the End of the Lane”. The first book I decided to read by you and had just finished a week before. The women had no idea she given me a signed copy of the book that made me want to read again. Your books make the world better. For such a big theater and such a big stage, I just wanted to tell you my little point of view.

The story you told about wishing you enjoyed the past more than you did, I hope you get to enjoy it now, and I hope you want to. And thank you, to you and to Terry Pratchett for creating something special. I convinced my dad to watch Good Omens with me over December break, he loved it.

I forget sometimes that everything is someone's first time, and then I read something like this and feel like I need to remember that better. I'm glad the people beside you were kind.

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romansmartini · 8 days

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congratulations to david tennant for losing the bafta! michael sheen i am so sorry that david tennant lost the bafta. michael sheen please don’t hurt anyone because david tennant lost the bafta

#david tennant #michael sheen #david tennant we (your tumblr fanbase and michael sheen) will get you an award soon so help me god

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 3 months

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staged but i've never watched it and i'm drunk

hello mascot good omens mascot here okay so THE STAGED LIVESTREAAM IS ON SATURDAY BTW. That is a thing that is happening. So. You know. If you're above 18 because @thescholarlystrumpet (and I ig) are responaible adults come and like. Join us. Watch me react to staged and probably die. i'Ll probably share details when I'm not drunk and when it's not nearing midnight.

But until then I'm drinking battery acid (this red wine cost like the equivalent of 2.5 USD) and I am here to summarise staged.

It's about David Tennant and Michael Sheen, who, until barely a month ago, I had no idea existed (we don't talk about Michael sneakily being in Twilight and Passengers I'm actually pretending the Twilight thing didn't happen pklease respect my denial)

It started over Zoom and it's about them rehearsing a play during COVID but like it's scripted so it's a show about rehearsing a play and it stars the actors as themselves very meta very fourth wall

David has hair extensions and Michael does not

David keeps switching locations because he has to quote Michael "twenty children" and they're everywhere. Because of this hellsite that's obsessed with David to an unhealthy level I know that this is not true, he has five children and I can probably give you details and how is this my life

Michael stays in the kitcehn and some watchers think this is a poetic choice it's not David just has to shift because humans are everywhere in his house

Georgia who is David's wife and Anna who is Michael's wife which I also know because of this hellsite both also star in it

They're all neighbours now by the way which this really creepy hellsite was DETERMINED that I know about okay thank you tumblr I'm uh that's knowledge for sure I'm sure they're having fun

Judi Dench is involved and I'm not sure who she is but she's a Dame and she's a very good actress and she's kinda intimoidating and also for some weird reason I associate her with that Cats nightmare fuel even though I didn't watch it but yeah she probably had nothing to do with it

There are three seasons and FOR SOME REAOSN EVERYONE IS CRYING AT THE END. WHY ARE YOU ALL ALWAYS CRYING WHY HAVE YOU DRAGGED ME INTO THE CRYING TOO I'M STILL CRYING OVER GOOD OMENS WHAT IS THIS NOW.

it's uh it's a comedy but I've realised now that in Britain comedy = will make you sob harder than a tragedy but will be more subtle and sneaky about it

god this wine tastes like shit i really need to make money so i can afford better alcohol. any suggestions, maggots? wait this is a summary not a life update

uhhhh the silhouette of one of david's kids appears in one of the episodes

that's all i've got i'm sorry time to go make more bad decisions I love you all byebyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee stay rotten

#good omens mascot #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #good omens fandom #maggots #staged #bbc staged #michael sheen #david tennant #georgia tennant #anna lundberg #welsh seduction machine #david and michael #why are these the tags tumblr is suggesting to me #fuck it i'm too drunk for this #staged livestream

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thesherrinfordfacility · 10 months

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✨ episode 1/2 - running commentary✨

- ok so im slightly disappointed that it's the eps i watched in the screening BUT IM DETERMINED TO LOVE IT ANYWAY SO WE REMAIN OPTIMISTIC AND WE MOVE~~

- angel crowley is so young and innocent my poor boy he's been through so much

- like now im watching it, it feels like putting it in a cinema was a Bad Choice and maybe that's why I didn't like it??? it feels way more authentic and cosy on tv

- im sorry but crowley sounds like such an old man in the park scene, "frozen peas... it's good for them too🙂"

- seriously this is so much more palatable on tv format i can't get over it

- OH MAGGIE I LOVE YOU

- aziraphale god bless ur little cotton socks

- god crowley's legs got me SWEATIN

- ugh crowleys hand in the cafe is so FRUITY

- lmao "purely selfish action" aziraphale is so self aware and I love it

- no im sorry but goob is the fucking star of the show you cannot change my mind but dialogue and delivery wise he is currently CARRYING

- Dartmoor mention had me creasing, that's literally on my doorstep

- aziraphale's bitchy ass face then he sits down in the backroom honestly watered my crops and healed nature

- okay im sorry but the dialogue is still a little off for me I won't lie💀

- beelzebub's accent is just 😘👌 perfect, but equally feel like they'd be perfect in a production of oliver

- god believe me i feel for nina but... I... do not like her, and they are NOT suited for each other at all

- I LEARNT MY PASSION IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED SCHOOL OF LOVER BOYS

- that dance is so low effort I'm sorry it should have been the macarena or cha cha slide

- crowley's bow tho is so hot he's so graceful he looks like a swan

- and yeah the refs to the other years that aziraphale did the dance is GIVING ME HEART PALPITATIONS ugh

- he and goob are like cats on a hot tin roof like IMMEDIATE hissing vibes

- lmao ok so that episode does end there then... such a weird ending im sorry but yeah let's fully retract the alternate episode theory (but @prime you need to hire me for s3 just a thought bc 👀)

- anyway ep2 I'm sorry but the angelic herald speech thing is cute and funny but also so cringe hmmm

- gabriel is lord farquaad ugh

- I HAVE TO REMEMBER THIS IS A COMEDY UGH but i miss the slightly serious undertones in s1 sob god I hope they come back later on

- UGH THE TURTLENECK🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

- shax is mommy I don't make the rules

- I noted it in the screening but angel wings for earrings, Maggie????

- nice job on the lie aziraphale well done once again making excellent choices you're so smart and valid (utter moron)

- "SOUNDS A BIT UNLIKELY" LMAO GET FUCKED CROWLEY

- oh goob you really are going through it my bby I love u

- crowley's face after may god forgive you KILLS ME this scene is honestly the stand out one in both ep1 and ep2 if you ask me

- TY TY TY god bless u but you also make me so uncomfortable

- jobs youngest kid truly gives me life

- lmao the fact that aziraphale does actually recognise when crowley tempts him is hilarious tho bc he just conveniently disregards it by the bench scene in s1 hmmm character development or character regression WHO KNOWS

- ok no I'm sorry but the mukbang scene is so unnecessary and uncomfortable

- "whack the kids" honestly the best line of this scene imo, but upon reflection and rewatching it, crowley's demeanour is rather heartbreaking whilst he's reclined getting ratted

- FRANCES FRANCES FRANCES ✨💓

- 'but just to be able to ask the question' UGH CROWLEY STOP

- lmao shoemaking and obstetrics what a combo god bless

- THEY CAN ARRIVE AT ANY SIZE lmao and Michael is too sharp for their own good... but I do hate that gabriel is utterly inept, he came across as cruel and calculating if a little ignorant in s1 but not this comedically stupid

- "yes I bloody am" TY MY LOVE

- Michael sheen and David Tennant deserve nominations for the children swap scene alone, imo the strongest bit of acting in the ep im sorry 'you have my word as an angel' KILL ME

- why is nina obsessed with crowley, like I get it babes but also why

- THEY ARE SO MARRIED MT PARTNER AND I ARGUE OVER THE CAR ALWAYS "our car" LMAO 💀💀💀

- ✨✨✨IT WAS A NICE DAY, ALL THE DAYS HAD BEEN NICE✨✨✨

- ok the rock scene is so much more emotional on tv, so much better

OKAY RIGHT EP3 LETS HAVE ITTTTT

#good omens #good omens season 2 #go2 commentary #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #not a shitpost but its good omens babyyyy #edit: it unnerves me that neil liked this cesspit of inner monologue but similarly the man's a madlad and cannot be contained #go off i guess

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anthonycrowley · 10 months

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the only way to properly enjoy season 2 in the way i am i have found (because there Are others i am not an isolated case) is to have gotten really really really into the book when you were a teenager to the degree that you cared about it enough to look it up on tumblr dot com or perhaps livejournal or fanfiction.net i don't know your life and followed it for years and years and years so you have the history and the Context of it all. BUT. and this is crucial. you also have to not care about the show. but also yes you do but not in the context of the book because if you think about how book and tv characterizations differ you may explode. but also yes you do because you need to care about the characters. but also you can't care about the characters even a little because this is being written on vibes alone. also it helps to like david tennant and michael sheen but it is not necessary. yes it is. no it isn't. yes. no. like it's an incredibly delicate balance that you needed to have been training up on for years and i don't have a time machine so at this point i literally cannot help the people sobbing into neil's askbox or in the tag or wherever. sorry.

#my post #that's why there's like maybe four of us having a ball on this total. i just wanted you to understand.#gomens #gomens tv

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giantmushyfriend · 4 months

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It's not a want, your honor, IT'S A NEED

Okay, okay, okay.

Y'all, I'm snowed into my house after Iowa just got slammed by a lot of snow, so I predict some cabin fever mess to spew from this page (I'm sorry).

ANYWAY

So, we all know how Michael Sheen was on the celebrity episode of the Great British Bake Off, and he was an absolutely chaotic and competitive little shit. Michael always jokes about his competitiveness, but he just came out of the gates swinging, acting like the chaotic little Welshman he is. And we loved it. How could we not? Michael is so loveable, even when he's causing chaos and making Wales 4 Ever treats. That being said, I vote Michael comes back for another episode.

But Giantmushyfriend, I hear you ask, won't that be repetitive and boring?

No, because not only is Michael unpredictable and very funny, but also because two other people would be joining him: his TV husband, David Tennant, and Neil Gaiman, the destroyer and repairer of all hearts.

There are so many different ways this potential episode could play out, and it is the best thing the Great British Bake Off could produce. Because just think about it.

Michael would inherently go back to being the chaotic menace we all know he will be. He'd come in with the attitude, "I performed great the last time I was here, and I am going to do great again, and if I don't, then at least I'll be cute."

David would come in, and everyone would expect him to be all nice because he's practically known as the Patron Saint of Pleasantness in the acting world, but he turns out to be a menace. I can picture David either trying to create an alliance with Michael, trying to impress Michael, or trying to demolish Michael. There would be no in-between. In the case of the third scenario, I can practically hear David saying, "Listen, Michael Sheen is a dear friend who I love immensely. Top of the line, man, Michael. However, I am going to annihilate him- exterminate him." Because, as Georgia has warned us, he would be insufferable.

Either way, every compilation of David and Michael acting like a married couple for X minutes would get new content, and Anna and Georgia would get a good laugh.

And then there's Neil, the mastermind. Neil would be a more secretive, chaotic force brewing beneath the surface. He would seem all nice and just happy to be there, enjoying making some goods and having fun. But behind the scenes, he's turning people against each other and watching them take each other down. Because Neil is an evil mastermind, we've seen it with all of his works. He's a writer. He knows how to cause conflict. And he will wipe the floor with David and Michael, alongside everybody else. There would be a slew of "Neil Gaiman Big Brain" compilations and edits all over the Internet, all of which would be retweeted by Michael, who is salty about it. And we would relish in it.

Listen, this would be my Roman Empire. I don't know who I need to write for this to happen. I don't know how hard I need to grovel at God's feet for the Earth to be blessed with this, but I need it so biblically. I'll grovel harder than Aziraphale, but for the love of all things both Holy and Unholy, P L E A S E

@goodomensonprime

P L E A S E

#neil gaiman #michael sheen #michael sheen being a menace to society #david tennant #david tennant being a menace to society #chaotic welshmen #the old man of port albert #neil gaiman being a mastermind #the great british bake off #but not really #celebrity great British bake off #I am foaming at the MOUTH #GBBO celebrity #not a good omens post #Ik #shocking

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