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rainisawriter · 8 months

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Sick for You (Ryu) {Sicktember 2023}

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Genre: Fluff, slice of life, angst, comfort, domestic, comedy, romance

Word Count: 8,564

Pairing: First Person x Ryu

World: The Rampage

A/N: Okay, let me say that this is 100 million percent self-indulgent because I am a certified Ryu simp. I would die for this man, okay. This also took like a week to write lmao and it was written for @sicktember 2023. I wasn’t originally gonna do anything for this because of Flufftober but then this idea hit me like a freight train c: Also shout out to Kels (@babyboybinbin), Dia (@sieunkinnie) and Sweet (@xsweetelegantdisasterx) for letting me abuse them in this fic~ I regret nothing ò.ó)

Prompts (in order): #11 -Beginner’s Guide to Faking Sick / #18 – “Wear your coat, you’ll catch a cold.” / #4 – Hiding An Illness / Alt #3 – Pounding Headache / #23 – Coughing Fit / #16 – Consulting the Internet/Web MD / #19 – Curled Up With A Pet / #8 – Persistent Fever / Alt #4 – Forehead Kisses / #12 – Home Remedy/Old Wives Tale / #21 – “But if you stay, you’ll get sick too.” / #24 – “Did you just sneeze?” / #3 – “What happened to your phenomenal immune system?” / Alt #1 – “I could really use a hug right about now.”

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Light streamed through the curtains, landing conveniently across my eyes and bringing me from my sleep. I looked at the clock through blurry eyes, realizing that I needed to get up soon for work but I really didn’t want to. My bed was so comfy and the body wrapped around my own was warm. Why would I ever want to –

Wait a damn minute… I blinked dumbly at the wall for a moment. Why is there a body in my bed? I turned slowly so as not to disturb them, a smile instantly coming to my face when I realized who it was.

Ryu was sleeping peacefully behind me, strands of hair falling across his face. He was already a gorgeous man but he looked like a damn angel when he was sleeping so peacefully. I slowly reached forward, tucking the hair behind his ear. He stirred, gorgeous brown eyes meeting mine.

“Morning,” he mumbled, stretching out his long body.

“When did you get here?” I wondered, propping my cheek up against my hand. “I thought you were on tour for another three days.”

“We had to end it early because of the bad weather.”

“You shoulda woke me up.”

He hummed, fingers curling around the hem of my shirt. “You looked too cute. I didn’t want to bother you.”

I ignore the fluttering of my heart and the warming of my cheeks, leaning down to claim his lips. “Babe, you could never bother me.”

He gave me a goofy grin, eyes lighting up. “You have to be at work soon, right?”

All thoughts of work had gone out the window when I realized he was in bed with me. I rarely got to see him because of his hectic schedule and there was no way I was going to work.

I forced myself up, grabbing my phone off the bedside table and bringing up Google. Ryu propped himself up on his elbow, looking curiously at my phone screen.

His brow furrowed as he read the words of the article I had clicked on. “‘A beginners guide to faking sick.’ You’re gonna lie to your boss?”

“No… I’m just gonna bend the truth a little,” I defended, trying to ignore the stern look he sent me. “Is it so wrong to want to spend time with my beautiful boyfriend, hm?”

He fought back against the smile trying to overtake his lips, still trying to appear stern but I knew I had broken him. It was my special ability at this point. “Fine, but you have to make it up to him later, okay?”

“I’ll bring him donuts or something.”

Ryu laughed, shaking his head before climbing over me to get off the bed. He started to leave the room but paused as if unsure. “Do you want me to make you breakfast?”

I wasn’t sure why, but he was always cautious when it came to cooking. It’s like he wants to, but he just doesn’t have the confidence in himself which breaks my heart. I offered him a playful grin. “Well, the last time I cooked something that wasn’t instant ramen, I set the kitchen on fire, so…”

He paled as the memory came flooding back to him. “Ah… I’ll cook, then.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” I followed him into the tiny kitchen, settling down at the table with my phone. “I love your cooking. Your food always tastes so good.”

“Really?” He glanced at me with a shy smile and I nodded.

“Yes, really. If I could cook like you, I wouldn’t be a Fire hazard.”

He laughed, pulling the eggs out of the fridge. “Just don’t attempt it when I’m not here, okay?”

“Okay~” I promised, pulling up my boss’s contact. I took a deep breath, clearing my throat as I pressed it to my ear. I hoped it would go to his voice-mail, but no such luck.

“Hello? Takanori speaking.“

“Hey, boss.” I tried to lower my voice and sound as if I was dying, but judging from the look Ryu was giving me, it wasn’t working as intended. “I, uh… I can’t come in… today…”

“Oh? Are you okay? You sound terrible.“

“Yeah, I -” I faked a few coughs and Ryu sent me another stern look, clearly not approving of the lie. “- I’m not feeling too hot.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Get some rest and –“

There was a sudden loud clang from the kitchen. Ryu had dropped the metal spatula on the floor. ‘Sorry,’ he mouthed, sending me an apologetic and guilty look.

My boss called out my name, sounding worried. “What was that noise? Is everything okay?“

“Yeah!” I replied quickly, forgetting my tone change which I quickly fixed. “Yeah, sorry. I… I dropped my cup…”

“You should be in bed,” he scolded softly. “Don’t worry about anything. I can get Dia to cover your shift.“

“Thanks, boss.”

“Take care.”

I hung up the phone, releasing a relieved sigh as I sat back in my chair. “Man, acting is hard. I don’t know how you do it.”

“A lot of practice,” he hummed, breaking the eggs into a bowl.

I watched him for a moment, admiring how careful he was with each action. “What should we do today? A new store opened up a few blocks away. Looks interesting from the outside.”

“Is that a smart idea? What if your boss sees you?”

“He works in an office building on the other side of town and he’s a workaholic so he stays way later than everyone else. The chance of him seeing me is,” I formed a circle with my hand. “Zero percent.”

“Famous last words,” he teased.

“For you,” I came up behind him, arms around his waist and face buried in the back of his shirt. “It’s worth the risk.”

His hand found mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. It was something he did to show thanks when words failed him.

After breakfast, we started to get ready to head out.

Ryu checked his phone before glancing at me. “It’s supposed to rain and the temperature is going to drop. Wear your coat, you’ll catch a cold.”

“Don’t worry so much, you know I love the cold,” I replied, shoving my feet into my boots.

“Loving the cold doesn’t make you immune to it.”

“I’ll be fine, I promise.” I held my hand out to him with a reassuring smile and he reluctantly took it, his hand easily dwarfing my own. “Besides, I’ve got you to keep me warm.”

He quickly turned his head but not before I noticed his blush, bringing a grin to my lips. He tugged me out of the apartment, the chilly autumn air nipping at my exposed skin. The sky was covered with gray clouds, thunder rolling softly in the distance.

He glanced up and hummed thoughtfully. “We should buy an umbrella first.”

“The convenience store on the corner sells them, I think.” I tugged him in that direction, feeling in high spirits. How could I not be? The love of my life was home, it was nearly October, it was cold out and it was probably going to rain. It was a recipe for pure joy.

The store had an entire rack of umbrellas for sale, including a blue one with lamas printed on it and a teal one with cats printed on it. It took me an embarrassingly long time to choose one while Ryu waited patiently, standing behind me with his arms around my waist and chin on top of my head. It was an easy feat given our height difference.

“If you want, you can buy both,” suggested Ryu softly.

I considered it for a moment. “They’re overpriced already and I don’t need two.”

Ryu chuckled, picking them both up and heading to the front despite my protests. He didn’t hesitate to pay for them both, again, ignoring my protests. I sent him a disapproving look when he held them out to me.

“Don’t be mad,” he pouted. “I like buying things for you. It makes me happy.”

Well, I can’t argue with that. His happiness is my happiness. I clicked my tongue, taking the umbrellas from him. “Thank you, I really do appreciate it.”

“Of course. Should we check out that new store now?”

“Yes, let’s go~!” I grabbed his hand and dragged him from the store, prompting a laugh from him.

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I stifled a yawn, rubbing the back of my neck. We had been out for hours, mostly just walking around and enjoying each other’s company. The shop hadn’t been anything special, though Ryu did find a jacket that he liked.

He threw his arm around my shoulders, rubbing up and down my arm. “Should we head home?”

“Yeah. We can watch a movie if you want.”

“I’d like that. You can choose.”

“Oh?” I sent him a grin and he frowned.

“Am I going to regret that decision?”

“We are so watching The Worst.”

A faint tint came to his cheeks. “We’ve already seen it a hundred times.”

“And I wanna see it a hundred more because my baby is in it and he’s incredibly talented.” I smiled warmly, reaching up to cup his face. He leaned down to make it easier, his warm hand covering my own. “You’re an amazing actor, you know? And an amazing dancer. And a genuinely amazing person in general.”

He shifted nervously, glancing away.

I knew complimenting him made him feel shy and nervous, but it felt important to me. I needed him to know how important he is, how special. Maybe that makes me selfish, I don’t know.

I pulled back, releasing my grip on him. “Come on, let’s get home before -“

As if sensing my thoughts, the sky opened up with a loud roar of thunder. Sheets of rain fell on top of us, causing the others on the street to cry out and rush for cover. Ryu grabbed my hand, pulling me under the cover of a nearby Cafe. As badly as I wanted to enjoy the rain, I was more concerned about him. It would be bad if he got sick and couldn’t rejoin the other Rampage members.

“We should get home so you can change,” I murmured, frowning at the water that clung to his hair. I opened the cat umbrella, making sure to hold it high enough so it wasn’t resting against the top of his head.

“You need to change, too,” he pointed out, putting his arm around my shoulder and tugging me against his side to ensure that the umbrella covered us both. The wind picked up, sending a chill down my spine. It took everything I had not to shiver simply because I didn’t want to worry him.

The apartment was chilly, providing little warmth.

“Hurry and get changed,” said Ryu as he shrugged off his jacket.

“You first.”

He sent me a pointed look which I returned.

“Don’t look at me like that, Ryutaro. Think about the other members if you get sick.” I folded my arms over my chest, watching as he bit his lip. “Go on, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be quick.” He pecked my cheek before rushing into the bedroom. Kazu came rushing out when he opened the door, easily slipping through his legs before rushing over to me.

I clicked my tongue, kneeling in front of him. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were in the room.”

He stared at me with his large blue eyes, tail swishing back and forth in annoyance.

“Will a treat make it up to you?”

Mrow~

I chuckled, patting the feline on the head before standing up to enter the kitchen, him hot on my heels. He hopped up onto the chair, waiting patiently as I searched for the treats. Where the hell are they? I tugged open the cabinet, spying them on the top shelf.

Well, shit. I stood on my tiptoes, reaching up but only the tips of my fingers brushed against the plastic container. I tried pushing it closer to the edge but I think I just pushed it farther away.

A chest pressed against my back, his hand appearing beside my own and easily reaching the container. “I’ll feed Kazu. Go get changed.” He pressed another kiss to my cheek before approaching the annoyed feline.

I smiled at him before doing as I was told, changing into a t-shirt, a rampage hoodie, and some pajama pants with little ghosts printed on them. I felt much warmer now, but there was a tickle at the back of my brain. I couldn’t describe it, I just knew I didn’t feel quite as energetic as I had this morning. Then again, it was a long day.

Ryu was sitting on the couch waiting for me, Kazu curled up beside him as he gently brushed his fingers over the feline’s white fur. I settled down on his other side, seeing the movie already pulled up and ready to play. He pulled me against his body, arms wrapped protectively around me.

With a smile, I pressed play on the remote before letting myself melt against him, chest filled with warmth and love.

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Over the next couple of days, I started to feel worse and worse. My body felt heavy as if it were made of lead, someone seemed to be endlessly pounding on my skull with a hammer and I barely had the energy to live. Even so, I knew I had to hide it from Ryu because he’s the type who would drop everything for his loved ones.

I refuse to be the reason behind him getting into trouble or, worse, getting fired and losing his dreams. It was hard as hell to pretend to be okay, but I managed by pretending it was a video game. Besides, he leaves tomorrow morning so I can die in peace without disturbing him so long as I make it through the night.

The smell of paella filled the apartment and I swallowed hard, hit by a wave of nausea. Not that it smelled bad or anything, but in my weakened state, I simply wasn’t hungry and I couldn’t trust myself not to throw up if I actually ate something. If that were to happen, Ryu would blame himself for messing it up and I didn’t want that.

On the other hand, telling him I didn’t want to eat would probably make him feel self-conscious and sad. He put in the effort to cook for us despite not having a lot of confidence in doing so, I couldn’t just crush him like that.

I brought my knees to my chest, groaning softly into my knees. Kazu was staring at me from the recliner. I don’t know if he understood my predicament but it felt as if he was judging me for my choices, the little shit. He reminds me of someone else who just so happens to share the same name.

Ryu’s feet padded softly across the wooden floor as he appeared beside the couch. “Dinner’s ready. Do you want me to make you a plate?”

I took a slow, deep breath. ‘Come on, get your shit together. Do it for him.’ Lifting my head, I gave him an apologetic smile. “Actually… I think I might skip dinner tonight.”

He sat beside me with a frown, brow furrowed in worry. “Why? What’s wrong?”

My stomach lurched, a sharp pain shooting through my skull simultaneously and I nearly cursed aloud at my body for conspiring against me. I wrapped my arms tightly around my stomach to try and ease some of the pain I felt. “I’m about to start my period so my stomach is a bit… wonky at the moment.”

“Already? You’re not due to start for another week.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised that he knew that because he was always on top of things like that, always trying to ensure I was comfortable and prepared each month, even when he was away. “Uh… better early than late?”

His face burned at the comment and he brought the back of his hand up to cover it. “Go get some rest.”

“I’m sorry, Ryu.”

“For what?”

“You cooked for nothing… I should have said something sooner.”

“It’s okay,” he replied softly, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “You can eat it when you’re feeling better.”

I wanted to kiss him so badly for being such a sweetheart but I didn’t want him to get sick so I settled for a thankful smile. “Thank you, baby.”

“Of course.”

I waited for him to disappear back into the kitchen before standing up and hobbling my way back to the bedroom, holding onto the wall for support. The room was spinning by the time I made it to bed and I was all too happy to fall face-first onto it, the pillow muffling my groan.

Despite feeling exhausted, I just couldn’t fall asleep. My head was hurting too bad, the painkillers not even touching it. For two hours, I lay there staring at the wall, trying to will myself to succumb to the darkness of sleep but my body refused to obey. When Ryu finally joined me, I pretended I was asleep, urging myself not to move as he slid in behind me, arms wrapped protectively around my body.

I guess that was the missing link because the last thing I remember was him kissing me on the cheek and whispering, I love you, something that he rarely said out loud.

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I startled awake as a coughing fit grasped me tightly, forcing me to sit up. The room was bright with Ryu nowhere to be found. I glanced at the clock and cursed, realizing that he had already left. I was already late for work, too.

As badly as I wanted to just bail and call in sick again, I knew I couldn’t. This was my karma for lying about being sick in the first place, I knew. With a groan, I threw the covers off of me and immediately started to shiver as the cool air wrapped around me. My head still hurt, my nose stuffy and the room spun when I tried to stand up.

“Shit,” I muttered, sitting back down and squeezing my eyes shut. I waited for my head to stop swimming before standing up again, walking slowly so I didn’t fall. Kazu followed close behind, his big eyes not leaving me once. At least he didn’t seem to be judging me this time. If anything, he looked worried.

“I’m fine,” I told him, though my voice was hoarse and my throat scratchy. He flicked his ear, eyes narrowing. “Don’t give me that look. I’ll never give you treats again, you little -” My threat was interrupted by a coughing fit, my throat burning.

It took longer than I’d like to admit to get ready for work and, if I’m being completely honest, I don’t remember how I got to work. It felt like I blacked out and when I came to, I was sitting at my desk with a sheet of paper in one hand and a pen in the other.

I felt a familiar tickle at my nose and I scrunched it up on instinct, only making it worse. I tried to hold it back but a loud sneeze ripped from my body, sending the stack of papers flying off the desk. I groaned at the throbbing in my skull, eyes half-lidded.

“Are you okay?” A hand rested on my shoulder and I slowly lifted my head, seeing my boss frown. “Geez, you look like death.”

“Am okay, boss,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. I started to get up to retrieve the papers when the world started to spin violently around me.

“Woah!” He threw his arm out to steady me, slowly lowering me back into my seat. The back of his hand rested against my forehead, his frown deepening. “You’re burning up… wait here a minute, okay?”

I didn’t have the energy to reply, my body slumping forward onto the desk with a groan. Why does everything hurt so bad? Am I dying right now?

“As you can see, she’s not doing so well,” stated my boss as he adjusted his glasses, returning to my side. “Can you take her home? I’ll pay for the Uber.”

“Of course, boss,” replied Dia. “Leave it to me.”

“I’ll call them, then.”

As soon as the car arrived, Dia helped me down to the first floor, allowing me to lean against her even at the risk of catching my cold. At least, I think it’s a cold. Maybe it’s the flu, I don’t know. Either way, she was selfless and I loved her for it.

There was a car parked in front of the building, tinted windows making it impossible to see. I could hear K-pop music blaring from within and I dreaded getting inside with my head hurting as badly as it was.

Dia knocked on the passenger window and it slowly slid down, the driver leaning toward it. She was wearing a strange pink thing on her head, the fabric secured beneath her chin with velcro. On the top was something resembling a tentacle, though it was different. I felt as if I knew what it was, but my feverish brain couldn’t quite place it.

She tilted her head down to peer at us over her sunglasses, yelling to be heard over the loud music pumping through the car. “You Dia?”

“I can’t hear you!” She yelled back.

Shaking her head, the driver flicked the volume dial and repeated the question.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Cool, I’m Kelso. Hop in and let’s go for a ride,” she grinned, rubbing her hands together like some kind of anime villain.

Dia sent me a concerned look as she helped me into the backseat, though I wasn’t sure if it was because of my illness or because our driver might be certifiably insane. The cold air of the ac felt good against my heated skin and I sighed softly, resting my head against the glass.

The car was quiet at first, broken only by the soft music playing in the background.

“Hey, you know sharks don’t have any bones?”

“I – huh?” Dia looked at the woman, startled.

“Yeah and don’t say their teeth, either, because that shit is calcium, not bone.”

“Sure…”

The song changed and Dia gasped. “Oh my god, I love Pentagon!”

“Really? Me too!” She grinned, turning in her seat so that she was half-facing us while still driving down the road. “Who’s your favorite member?”

Dia didn’t seem to notice that our driver was no longer looking at the road despite driving at such a high speed. “I love Jinho.”

“My bias is Wooseok.”

My wide eyes stared forward as cars and buildings zoomed past us. My heart was racing in my chest, and my head seeming to throb in tandem with it. I looked at Dia in horror, trying to get her attention but my voice seemed to have left me. When I turned back to the front, there was a woman relaxing on the hood, not seeming the least bit bothered by the high speed at which we were traveling.

She slowly turned her head, smiling warmly at me when our eyes met, but it quickly fell into a worried frown. “You don’t look so good, hun.” Despite being on the outside of the vehicle, it sounded as if she was talking from right in front of me.

“I…” My voice was scratchy and I ended up coughing a few times before I could speak again. “I think I’m dying…”

She chuckled softly, amusement dancing in her eyes. “You’re not dying. Not yet, anyway.”

“How are you on the hood of the car? How haven’t we crashed yet?” I glanced at Dia to find her still chatting animatedly with Kelso, but they weren’t making a sound. It was as if someone had pressed the mute button on them. “I’m so confused,” I groaned, resting my face in my hands. All I wanted was to be back in Ryu’s arms, but he would be gone for a while.

My heart clenched painfully at the thought, tears stinging at my eyes.

“Don’t cry,” said the woman, her voice soft and comforting. “Everything will be alright, I promise.”

Maybe she was right, but at that moment, it felt like everything was collapsing in on me.

“Rest,” she ordered.

Warmth spread throughout my body, my eyes growing heavy. I shook my head, trying to keep them open but I wasn’t strong enough. Before I knew it, darkness had claimed me.

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I tugged the comforter tighter around my body, feeling as if I was freezing. It wasn’t even cold outside and the AC certainly wasn’t on, yet my body refused to warm up. What in the world is happening to me? I rarely get sick and it usually knocks me on my ass when I finally do but shit. It feels as if I’ve been sick for weeks, though I know it’s only been a few days.

I wasn’t feeling quite as bad as I had been yesterday, so that’s an improvement, I guess. I felt exhausted and barely got two hours of sleep last night, yet sleep seemed to be running away from me.

With a sigh, I rolled over so I could grab my phone off the bedside table. I was hoping to have a message from Ryu to lift my spirits, but he still hadn’t replied to my last message. I knew he was busy but, already feeling so shitty, it hit me harder than it should have.

I pulled up Google, contemplating my next action for a moment before deciding to search for my symptoms. If I knew exactly what I had whether that be the cold, the flu, or something else entirely, then I could take the proper medication and finally recover from this shit. Regular cold meds and painkillers don’t seem to be cutting it.

After inputting all of my symptoms and the time frame into Google, I skimmed through most of the results because my head was still hurting and my vision slightly blurry, but most of the links I clicked all said the same shit – you’re probably going to die.

No fucking shit. Were all gonna die eventually. I groaned in frustration, throwing my phone onto the bedside table. As if disturbed by the sudden noise, Kazu came running into the room, tail straight up in alert.

“I’m still alive,” I grunted. “Barely.”

“Mrow~” He jumped up onto the bed, looking at me expectantly.

“What?”

“Mrow~“

“I don’t speak cat.”

He blinked at me and I blinked back. After staring at each other for several minutes, he hopped up onto the bed, flopping down against my side. I slowly turned, throwing my arms around him in an attempt to cuddle. I figured he was going to run away because Ryu was the only one who could get away with cuddling him.

He didn’t, though, allowing me to hold him against my chest. I buried my face in his soft fur, wishing that I would stop feeling like the damn walking dead. More than anything, I wished Ryu was here. Maybe I was being clingy but I missed him something terrible, my heart aching.

I heard the front door open, Kazu’s ear flicking to indicate that he heard it, too. Dia appeared at the door of my bedroom a minute later. “Morning. Feeling any better?”

“If by better you mean death then yes.”

She frowned, touching my forehead with her hand. “That fever is being really persistent… I think you should go to the doctor.”

“Doctors are expensive,” I muttered.

“You’re dating a celebrity, I think you can afford to see a doctor when you’re sick.”

I shook my head, frowning at her. “It’s his money, not mine.”

“You’re supposed to share things in a relationship.”

“Don’t care. I refuse to use his money. Besides, if I ignore it long enough, it’ll give up and go away.”

She sighed deeply, bringing her hand to her face. “Are you hungry?”

My stomach twisted painfully at the thought of food, my nose wrinkling. “No.”

“You have to eat if you want to get better, you know.”

“I ate last night.”

“Half a slice of bed is hardly nutritious.”

“I’m fine, mom.”

“I’m just worried about you,” she frowned. “Have you even told Ryu-san?”

“Of course not!” I replied quickly, scowling at her. “And I’m not going to. As far as he’s concerned, this never happened.”

“Don’t you think he’d want to know?”

“Of course, he would, but I know him. He’ll obsess over it and worry himself into the ground. He needs to focus on his group, not me. There’s nothing he can do for me so there’s no point telling him.”

She clearly didn’t agree, making me narrow my eyes at her.

“If you tell him, I will steal all your K-pop albums and sell them for one penny outside of Seiyu!”

She gasped dramatically, hands coming up to cover her mouth. “You wouldn’t dare…”

“Try me.”

“Fine,” Dia huffed, putting her hand on her hip. “Do you need anything before I head to work?”

“Can you get me a Dr. Pepper from the fridge?”

Without a word, she left the room, returning a minute later with a bottle of water.

“That’s not Dr. Pepper,” I scowled.

“You shouldn’t be drinking soda while you’re sick. Drink water so you hydrate, not diedrate.”

I scoffed in annoyance, knowing she was right but refusing to admit it.

She set the bottle on the nightstand, giving me a smile. “I’m off, then. Call me if you need me and get some rest. Don’t do anything stupid.”

I watched as she disappeared from the room, listening to the sound of her footsteps fading as she headed for the door. The hinges squeaked when she opened it, squeaking again when she closed it.

I don’t want to rest, I’ve been doing nothing but resting for ages and I’m starting to go stir crazy. I pressed a kiss to the top of Kazu’s head before slowly crawling out of bed, taking a moment to regain my sense of balance. “Kazu, don’t tell Dia.”

He tilted his head back, staring at me with narrowed eyes. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to say he disapproved of my actions or if he just didn’t give enough fucks to tell her even if he could talk.

After making sure Kazu had food in his bowl, I grabbed a Dr. Pepper from the fridge and curled up on the couch to watch some Netflix. I hoped it would distract me from everything or ease my stir craziness, at the very least. Kazu hopped up into the recliner, crossing one paw over the other before resting his head atop them, large blue eyes staring straight at me.

It was only slightly unnerving.

“I’m not just gonna, like, keel over and die ya know,” I scowled at him, earning just a blink in reply. I really wanted to watch The Worst again, but I knew it would only make me long for Ryu more so I chose a funny movie instead. Thank god Deadpool is available in Japan. It’s easily one of my comfort movies and I love Ryan Reynolds so much.

Man, I’d kill to be able to eat some popcorn right now, but the thought of it had my stomach doing painful flips. I scowled, patting my belly. “Relax, ho. I’m not gonna feed you so chill out.”

About halfway through the movie, I felt my eyelids growing heavier but I fought to stay awake. I was tired of sleeping, I just wanted to watch Deadpool and laugh my troubles away! I slapped my cheeks, shaking my head to try and wake myself up and it worked… for about twenty minutes.

Maybe if I just rest my eyes for a few minutes, it’ll help. Yeah, that’s right. I’m just… resting my eyes…

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The feeling of being lifted startled me awake, my eyes snapping open and my limbs flailing in panic.

“Calm down, it’s just me.”

I blinked dumbly, slowly lifting my gaze to meet Ryu’s. “You’re not supposed to be here… am I hallucinating again?”

“Again?” He frowned at me, his jaw tense. He didn’t say another word as he carried me to the bedroom, setting me gently down on the bed. “Do not get out of this bed.”

I frowned at him, not used to hearing him sound or look so annoyed. My eyes followed him until he was out of sight and I heard the front door open and close loudly, making me wince. Ryu was always so patient and kind, even when someone was trying to rile him up. He playfully gets mad with his members, but it’s nothing serious.

Seeing him act this way now… I knew I had fucked up royally. Tears stung at my eyes but I blinked them back, sniffling loudly as I reached for a tissue to blow my nose. God, I bet I look like an absolute mess.

I’ve always been self-conscious around him because he’s just so beautiful and I know I don’t deserve him, but my insecurities have, for the most part, stayed hidden in a dark corner of my mind. He made me feel loved and accepted, seeming to crush those negative thoughts every time they tried to crawl out into the light.

Now, though, I was completely overwhelmed. My body was at its limit and it was affecting my mind, as well. I felt weak and pathetic, like a burden on Ryu who had raced home to help me because I couldn’t help myself. Was he going to get into trouble for this? Would he lose his spot on The Rampage?

He leaned against the doorframe, arms folded over his chest and jaw clenched. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“I didn’t want to bother you -“

“Bother me?” He echoed in disbelief. “Do you even consider me your boyfriend?”

“What? Of course, I -“

“You never tell me anything. You’re always hiding your feelings, hiding when you’re sick. Don’t you trust me?” He shook his head, brow furrowed in frustration. “Do you not want to be with me?”

The question was enough to finally break me and send tears rolling down my cheeks. He looked at me with a startled expression, body tense as he pushed away from the doorframe.

I quickly rolled over to face the wall, biting my lip to try and muffle my sobs. I tried so hard to stop crying but, as always, my body refused to obey.

The side of the bed dipped, his warm hand on my back. “Please don’t cry… I’m sorry.”

I was the one who fucked up but he is apologizing? Goddamn it.

“Hey,” he called softly, trying to roll me over to face him but I refused, shaking my head. Instead of forcing me, he slid in behind me until his warm chest was against my back, arms wrapped protectively around me. “It’s okay, darling. I’m right here.”

His words only made me cry harder, fists clenching around the sheets. I was a fucking mess and I hated showing this side of myself to him. He was patient with me, though, whispering comforting words to me and rubbing my arm to try and calm me down. It took a while, but I guess I finally ran out of tears.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice hoarse and throat sore. My eyes felt puffy and there was a wet spot on my pillow from all the tears I had shed. “I… I should have told you, I just… I don’t want to, to ruin your career…”

“That won’t happen,” he assured me, trying to roll me toward him again. This time, I allowed it, not having the strength to fight back. His brown eyes met mine, swimming with love and warmth. He cupped my cheek, thumb brushing away the remnants of my tears. “I thought my heart stopped when Dia called me.”

“I told her not to,” I muttered, focusing my eyes on his necklace, unable to hold his gaze.

“I’m glad she did. You’ve been suffering alone for days,” he frowned, reaching down to press a kiss to my forehead. “You still have a fever.”

I pushed at his chest while simultaneously trying to sink into the mattress. “You’re going to get sick!”

He chuckled, taking my hand and pressing it over his heart. The steady beat was comforting. “I’m not leaving your side until you’re better.”

“But The Rampage -“

“Sends there get well soon wishes. I can’t promise Likiya-san and Zin-san won’t scold you when they see you next,” he smiled, pressing another kiss to my forehead before standing up. He started to leave the room but paused, sending me a stern look. “Don’t you dare move.”

While he was gone, I sat up to grab some tissues to wipe away my tears and blow my nose in an attempt to look a little less like a bog witch. I doubt it helped much, but he didn’t seem to care as he returned with my favorite Halloween mug, steam rising from it.

Ryu sat on the side of the bed, careful not to spill it. “Drink this, it’ll help.”

I tried to sniff the air but I couldn’t smell anything. I eyed it wearily. “What is it?”

“Ginger tea. My lola used to make it for me every time I got sick. She swears by it so she made sure to teach me how to make it.”

I was a picky eater, so trying new things always made me feel weary. I trust Ryu, though, so I took the mug from him and gave it a careful sip. It filled my body with warmth, tasting slightly spicy. Not like chili pepper spicy but more like… herbal spicy.

“It’s good,” I murmured, closing my eyes as I drank more of it. My throat was already beginning to feel less scratchy and sore.

“I’m guessing you haven’t eaten, either?”

“Define eaten.”

He held back a sigh, running a hand through his hair to compose himself. “I’ll make you some Lugaw.”

“Lu what now?”

“Lugaw,” he repeated with a chuckle. “My lola always told me that it has healing properties and it always made me feel better as a kid. I… don’t know if I can make it correctly, but I’m going to try.”

“I bet it’s going to taste amazing,” I assured him, reaching out for his hand. “You’ll put Gordon Ramsay to shame.”

His cheeks tinted, a goofy smile on his lips, and his eyes lighting up. “Thank you. I’ll do my best.”

When he stood up, I tried to follow only for him to click his tongue.

“No, you need to rest.”

“I’ve done nothing but rest,” I scowled. “I want to watch you cook. It calms me.”

He seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding and holding out his hand to help me up. His arm remained around my body as we headed to the kitchen and he didn’t leave my side until I was safely on the chair. Watching him truly did make me feel calm, along with the beverage that I was drinking.

I felt a tiny bit better already. Maybe his grandma is really onto something with these home remedies. “How long are you staying?”

He hummed as he cut up more ginger. “I told you, I’m not leaving until you get better.”

“And I told you, the longer you’re around me, the higher the risk of you getting sick. You’re already missing work because of me. If you get sick, you’ll miss even more. What if they fire you?”

“I promise you, that’s not going to happen.” Ryu sent me a reassuring smile but I didn’t feel very reassured at all. “Our managers were very understanding when I told them.”

I slid down in my chair, setting the empty cup on the table. “You could still get sick and spread it to the other members.”

“I won’t get sick.”

“How can you be sure of that?”

“Because I have a phenomenal immune system,” he grinned, making me scoff.

“What was that you said to me? ‘Famous last words,’ was it?”

“Except I’m not going outside in the winter without a coat only to be caught in the rain.”

I opened my mouth to reply only to scowl, realizing he was right. “Wipe that grin off your face, Ata Ryutaro.”

“Yes, darling,” he chuckled, returning to the task at hand.

I tried to ignore the fluttering in my chest and the warmth at the tips of my ears when he called me that. I adored it when he called me darling, but it wasn’t something he said often, especially not in public.

I couldn’t find the smile that came to my lips. I truly was the luckiest human on earth. “Hey, Ryu?”

“Yes?” He paused what he was doing to look at me. “Do you want some more tea?”

I shook my head. “I just wanted to thank you. You really are an amazing boyfriend.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he mumbled, hiding his face from me.

“I love you.”

His eyes met mine, filled with love and warmth. “I love you, too.”

━━━━━━༻☔༺━━━━━

I stretched my arms over my head, smiling as I breathed in the fresh air of the morning. After a couple of days under Ryu’s care, I was nearly back to my old self, though my body was still a bit achy. At least I could breathe properly now and the room didn’t spin when I got up too quickly.

The time spent with him was a nice bonus, too. I never wanted this to end, but I knew he had to be getting back to work. With one last look at the cloudy sky, I headed back inside to wake up Ryu. Just as I reached the door, I heard a sneeze from the other side followed by a soft groan.

I pushed the door open with a frown, taking in the appearance of my boyfriend. He still looked tired, his brown eyes lacking their usual luster. He seemed pale, too. “Babe, you okay?”

He smiled at me but it was obviously forced. “I’m fine.”

“You just sneezed.”

He seemed embarrassed that I had heard him. Before he could reply, though, another sneeze ripped from him, followed by a groan as he clutched his head. Rather than deny the obvious, he just pouted at me.

I hummed, approaching the bed so I could take his face between my hands. I could feel how warm he was before my forehead even met his. “You’ve got a fever.”

His fingers curled around my wrist, lips brushing against my own when he spoke. “I think I caught your flu…”

“Yeah? What happened to that phenomenal immune system of yours, hm?” I teased softly, brushing the hair from his face.

“You’re really going to tease me when I feel this bad?”

“Sorry, baby,” I chuckled, pressing a kiss to his lips. When I tried to pull away, he chased me with a whine. I chuckled, knowing how clingy and whiny he could get when he was sick. “Well, on the bright side, I get to return the favor and nurse you back to health.”

“‘M sorry,” he mumbled as he laid back down. “Will you stay with me?”

“You don’t even have to ask.” I slid in next to him and he slotted his body against mine, face buried in my neck as his limbs wrapped around me. I hummed softly, running my hands through his hair until his breathing evened out.

Maybe this makes me a bad person, but… I’m kind of happy that he caught my flu. God, I sound like such a bitch thinking that way, especially since I knew he was going to be feeling miserable, but I do love being able to take care of him. Despite being younger than me, he’s always been the caretaker in the relationship, going out of his way to accommodate me and my needs. It feels nice to be able to take care of him for a change, to have him rely on me.

His phone vibrated on the bedside table and I cursed softly, reaching my arm behind me to try and grab it. It was not comfortable at all but his limbs were like chains around my body, holding me in place so I couldn’t really move. I’m not entirely sure how I did it, but I managed to grab a hold of his phone, answering it without much thought so it wouldn’t wake him up.

“Hello?” I spoke softly, not wanting to disturb his sleep.

Zin said my name in surprise. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling great, actually. Ryu is a really good nurse.”

“That’s good to hear. Why are you whispering, though?”

“He’s asleep and I don’t want to wake him up.”

There was a moment of silence and then a deep sigh on the other end of the line. “He’s sick, isn’t he?”

“Um… kind of?” I replied sheepishly. “I’m really sorry, Zin-san. I tried to get him to leave but you know how stubborn he is…”

Zin chuckled. “Yeah, I know. No need to apologize.”

There was muffled talking in the background before the phone shifted to Likiya. “Hey, little one. You feeling better?”

“I’m doing great, Likiya-chan, but Ryu caught my flu, I think.”

“I figured he would,” he replied with a laugh. “Listen, we’ll be there soon but don’t tell Ryu.”

“Eh?” I replied louder than intended, making Ryu mumble and squeeze himself closer to me. “You’re coming here? What for?”

“We wanted to check on you and cheer you up, but I suppose we’ll be doing that for Ryu now.”

“But all of you are going to get sick, too,” I frowned.

“Don’t worry about us, little one, just worry about taking care of our Ryu. See you soon.”

I blinked dumbly as the sound of the dial tone filled my ear. Do these boys have no self-preservation at all? They’re skipping work to come here and risking getting sick in the process, thus keeping them out of work even longer. I sighed deeply, setting the phone down on the bed.

Something tells me this isn’t going to end well. The Rampage is known for having only one brain cell combined and stuffing them all into our small apartment with a sick Ryu and an introverted Kazu? What the hell could possibly go wrong?

━━━━━━༻☔༺━━━━━

I stepped outside, hands stuffed into the pocket of Ryu’s hoodie as I glanced around. Likiya had messaged me a few minutes ago saying that they were about ten minutes away from the apartment so I figured I’d come out and meet them. A few of my neighbors aren’t very fond of strangers in the building and these guys would no doubt be loud on their way up. I also didn’t have much faith that they wouldn’t go to the wrong apartment despite knowing where we lived.

A familiar-looking black car pulled up to the curb and Dia stepped out of the back, looking annoyed. The driver was Kelso again and she, too, looked annoyed as she jumped out of the car, eyes narrowed at Dia. She was still wearing that ridiculous hat which I now realized was Buu from the Dragonball series.

“Go away!” Dia scowled, folding her arms over her chest. “I already told you, I’m not buying your fake CDs!”

“How dare you! They’re not fake, they’re economic,” defended Kelso with a huff.

“They’re fake and you should be in jail!”

“Jokes on you, I was just released from jail!”

I watched the two of them argue back and forth, unsure of how to proceed. Do I try to break it up? That sounded like more effort than I was willing to spare, especially since I needed to be at full battery to deal with the storm that is the Rampage.

Speak of the devil…

Two tan vans pulled up to the curb behind the black car. The sliding door on the first van opened up before it even came to a stop, Shohei jumped out of the vehicle with a grin as he cried out my name. I had no time to prepare myself before his body barreled into my own, arms so tight around me that it knocked the air from my lungs.

“Nee-chan~” he sang with a grin. “I missed you~”

Likiya rushed over with a scowl. “Put her down, Shohei! She just recovered from being really sick!”

He pouted at being scolded before doing as he was told, putting me back on the ground.

I sucked in some air, resisting the urge to cough as I patted his shoulder. “Good to see you, too, Sho-chan.”

“How are you?” asked Likiya softly, holding out his arms for a hug. It was much softer than the one Shohei had given.

“I’m doing well. Wish I could say the same for Ryu.”

“Don’t worry, he’ll be better in no time,” he reassured me, giving me a gentle squeeze before pulling away.

I realized the arguing had stopped and I glanced over at the two women, both of whom were staring at the men with wide eyes. Dia’s eyes were trained on Makoto while Kelso’s were trained on Takuma. The scene behind them changed to pink, sparkles and roses appearing around their heads as hearts appeared in their eyes.

Shit, am I hallucinating again? I quickly shook my head, rubbing at my eyes before looking at them again. They were just standing there staring at the men, no sparkles in sight.

“You okay?” Kazuma patted my arm, tilting his head to the side. Hokuto was beside him, sending me a concerned look.

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” frowned Hokuto, reaching forward to feel my forehead. “You’re not warm, that’s good.”

“Sorry, I just zoned out, that’s all. Why don’t we all go inside? It’s getting colder out here.”

Shohei and Kenta didn’t need to be told twice as they darted into the building, followed by Zin who was trying to wrangle them in. The rest slowly filtered inside and I noticed the two girls following as if being pulled by an invisible stream tied to their bias.

Rui was the last one outside, getting a bag from the van. As he turned toward me, I noticed the woman from the car sitting on top of the van. Just like the other two, there were sparkles and roses around her head as she stared at Rui, hearts in her eyes.

“So dreamy~” she sighed, grinning like a fool.

Rui blinked, looking at me. “Did you say something, nee-san?”

“You heard that, too?”

“Yes.”

My eyes widened at the woman. Was she not a hallucination, after all? I quickly waved at him. “Come on, Rui, let’s get inside! I think the cold is getting to our brains.”

The woman looked up, winking at me before disappearing before my eyes.

━━━━━━༻☔༺━━━━━━

#sicktember #sicktember2023 #the rampage #fanfiction #the rampage fanfiction #the rampage ryu #creative writing #Rains ficography

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blush-and-books · 3 years

Text

i am always yours

canonverse juke one-shot, light angst with a happy ending :) as a part of the effort to get juke back on the tumblr fandometrics ship list! title from the end of all things by p!atd. again, fuck brendon urie, but i’ve had this hc about luke for awhile (you’ll see what i mean) and had to get this out! <3 enjoy!

When Julie told Luke about Panic! At The Disco, she didn’t just give him a list of songs to check out. She advised to listen through entire albums.

“You have a lot to catch up on,” she said, grinning over a mug of steaming tea. Her smile could convince him to do anything. “And these guys were a phenomenon. Despite… A lot that has happened with their lead singer, you’ll appreciate the music. Just give it a try when you feel like it.”

Julie never rushed him on anything. It was one of the things he loved most about her -- she only really insisted he know how to use her phone and the internet and maybe know some memes, but the rest was up to him. She loved him -- he hoped -- even if he wanted to stay in 1995.

However, whenever she told Luke to do something, like “look into it if you’re interested” or “check it out if you’re ever bored,” he would jump on it in an instant.

He wondered if she ever noticed. Acts of service was one of those love language things that Flynn was always talking about, right? Does making the effort to show an interest in the other person’s life by listening to every album by a band they like count?

He would ask Reggie or Alex, but Reggie doesn’t have much experience in the love department and Alex and Willie are much better at communicating than he is with Julie.

To be clear: Luke doesn’t have experience either. In fact, Reggie probably has more romantic experience between the two of them.

But none of it was as serious. This weird thing he has with Julie; this undefined, label-lacking supernova of passion and emotion that he has curled up in his chest is so strong sometimes it hurts. When Julie was upset at him and ignored him, it felt like the time his mom took his guitar and locked it away for a week.

But when Julie is around, and she’s smiling at him, he could swear that not even a roaring audience could spark the kind of nirvana he feels.

So, the day after she gives him the name of every Panic! album to date, she goes to school for six hours and he sneaks her laptop down to the garage and starts his deep dive.

(Yes, Julie gave him computer privileges. He knows boundaries. She’s just broadened hers.)

Blissfully and with few interruptions from his other bandmates, he goes through the first albums quickly. He skips most of Pretty Odd -- Julie should have warned him about that one -- and is enjoying himself until he gets to the later projects which are significantly less his sound.

But he keeps going. He reaches their album from 2013, which has this neon-angsty-alt-pop vibe that he honestly has a neutral opinion on. The songs are all good until he realizes that half of them have a painfully romantic overtone that ropes his mind back to Julie every time he tries to stray.

Fuck, one of the songs is literally titled Girl That You Love. How is he not supposed to have a montage of Julie in his head?

And then some shit called Far Too Young To Die comes on, and yes, he agrees, he was far too young to die. He also vows to never listen to it again in the next 24 hours because he is ultimately tempted to loop it until Julie comes back and kiss her breathless the second that she walks through the door.

Moving on, Collar Full doesn’t make things much better. He is sick and tired of waiting and dancing around his feelings for her, and every time they are together he is filled to the brim with lyrics and love from just minutes in her presence.

(“If you’re gonna be the death of me, that’s how I want to go” definitely shatters him. But only briefly. He wants to soak up every ounce of love he can get from her before the world catches up to them and he’s crossing over without his consent.)

Luke thinks that he’s out of the woods when he hits the album-ending ballad, The End of All Things.

And then he sees that he’s still in the thick of it.

The way it hits him is nearly indescribable -- but every line hits like a read-aloud of his diary.

No matter where he is, or where he ends up, his soul will always belong to Julie Molina. And that’s the truth of it. He can cross over or the band could break up and he could wander the planet as a lost ghost for the rest of eternity, but his soul will linger; tied with Julie’s in an unsolvable knot.

He is hers.

He is hers, he is hers, he is hers.

And he’s in love with her.

He can’t ask her to love him back. But he can hope, right? For just a single moment where they can lay together and be Julie and Luke like they should have been.

The tears on his cheeks and under his eyes don’t register until they are streaming down his neck and onto the pillow that he’s laying on.

He doesn’t deserve Julie, he knows that. And he knows how fucking selfish it would be to even try. But sometimes the wanting reaches inside of him and individually snaps each and every one of his ribs, and that feeling keeps him pushing and pulling like the tide. Get close to her, make her smile, make her laugh.

Leave her alone. Stop flirting. Don’t you dare hurt her.

Think about somebody other than yourself.

This song, he ends up looping. Over and over and over until his emotions are exhausted and he doesn’t have any tears left to cry. He’s on his… Probably his ninth listen when the doors crack open, and the piano music is leaking out of the garage as Julie slips in.

“Luke! Hey, uh… Oh! You’re listening to Panic!”

He guiltily allows his heart to skip at the pleasant surprise in her smile. Clearing his throat, he swipes his hands viciously across his cheeks to rid of the tear stains and shoots her one of his classic smiles. “‘Course, Boss. You told me to.”

Her backpack hits the coffee table as she slowly approaches the couch to settle next to him. “Yeah, well… I didn’t actually expect you to. People normally just say ‘yeah, I’ll check it out!’ and then no one talks about it again.”

Something rubs him the wrong way about her not thinking that he would actually follow through with her recommendation. Does she doubt him? How does she not know that she could say jump and he would ask how high?

“Well, I’m not normal people. I care about what you care about.”

He knows he got her when she averts her eyes to Alex’s drums across the room; giving Luke a perfect view of her blush. Maybe he lets himself revel in it for a moment longer than necessary.

“Anyways, how was school? Did you have a good day?”

“It was fine,” she shakes off her previous flusteredness, tucking her leg under her body so that she can turn to fully face him. “But there's nothing to tell. I would much rather hear about what you thought of Panic! And you have to tell me why you were wiping tears off of your face when I came in.”

Luke mirrors her position and gives her a joyful grin, trying to ignore the fact that she clearly noticed him trying to clean his face and wants to talk about it. The two of them have been so good at communication, and if it were about anything else, he would tell her.

But he was nearly sobbing because of how much he loved her and couldn’t have her, so…

“They were pretty cool, I’ll give it to you. I liked the album… Vices and Virtues?” Julie nods her head. “Yeah, that one. I was finishing the Vegas one when you got home.”

“Did you like it? The album you just finished. It sounded like End of All Things when I came in.”

With wide eyes and an exaggerated nod, Luke is praying internally that she will move on and go on a tangent about her favorite albums and songs because he just wants to listen to her talk and quietly love her instead of dodge questions about his emotions.

“Okay, and did you like it? Is that-” She chuckles. “Is that what got you emotional? I mean, I get it, that song hits different sometimes, but-”

Luke stays quiet. If he keeps his mouth shut, and just smiles and stares and nods, it won’t slip.

“... Luke? Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, of course!”

“... So? Are you… Are you okay? Did it remind you of your mom?”

It reminded me of you, he instantly corrects her with the little voice in his head.

But the voice sounds louder than usual, and then Julie’s eyes widen, and Luke couldn’t even smile and nod well enough to cover this up. Since when is he so bad at bottling up his emotions?

Right. Since he couldn’t write songs about his feelings. Because if he did, Julie would see them, so every word of affection toward her was shoved into an overflowing filing cabinet in his brain that was probably waiting to explode at any moment.

“It- Really?”

Mental checklist: She isn’t running away. She isn’t crying. She isn’t running away while she’s crying.

She isn’t slapping him, or screaming at him, or expressing any negative emotions.

Maybe he can push another inch… Just for some relief.

“Y- Yeah.” The single word takes considerable effort to stutter out, but he says it.

Julie formulates her next move. “And… Like, what about it? What reminded you of me?”

Is Luke imagining things, or did she just shift closer to him? Oh, God. The selfishness has already done it’s damage. He’s initiating something that he definitely shouldn’t for both of their sake, but-

God, why does she look so pretty?

“Y’know,” he scratches the back of his neck, “the… The lyrics.”

“The lyrics?” “Yeah.”

“Which ones?”

She’s leaning in. Her fingers are trailing up the side of his leg, and he wants to poof himself out of this conversation but what would hiding do? Just create a bigger gap between them?

His mom always told him he was selfish. He really, really doesn’t want to be selfish to Julie. He wants to protect her. He wants to put her health and happiness and life before his. Hurting her will never give him peace.

Is he being selfish either way? Telling her his feelings to make himself feel better, and avoiding his feelings because he thinks it will be better without talking to her about it -- neither are ideal, are they?

His hand, which was previously resting in his lap, inches down to brush against hers. “The first verse…” Their index fingers wrap around each other. “And the chorus, and the second verse…”

Both of their hands tangle until Luke doesn’t even remember what his hand looked like before, because all he sees is a bronze-ivory marble of skin and he knows he doesn’t ever want to see his hand without hers again.

“Luke…”

“Yeah, Boss?” “Why were you upset?”

She really won’t let it go. She clearly knows him too well, because he would hope any other person would be distracted by the fact that they were about to kiss, but this is Julie. They’re friends first. Family first.

He owes her honesty, doesn’t he?

“Because the song was right,” he answers, staring deadlocked at their joined hands. “No matter where I am, or how much time goes by… It’s gonna be you. On my mind. My feelings will never change.”

He can’t tell, but Julie’s heart ignites in her chest.

“Feelings? What-”

Somehow, the words still don’t want to come out. The eight letters are resisting every opportunity she has offered him, so he resorts to actions and cuts her off by raising their joined hands to kiss the back of her hand.

His lips linger before their union drops back into the space between them.

“... Oh.”

“Yeah.”

In a moment of courage, Luke peeks up at her, just to see how she looks. If he can read everything she’s feeling in a millisecond of a glance.

There are tears in her eyes.

“Whoa, Jules, why are you crying?” “Why were you crying?”

“Because I’m afraid of doing this!” Her hand tightens around him at his volume. “Julie, I- I don’t want to do anything selfish. I can’t have you thinking I’m selfish. I’m afraid of-” He has to take a deep, shaky breath. “When we hold hands or when you smile at me and I just feel so much and then I tell myself that I can’t, because you have so much ahead of you, and I don’t even know what’s in my future.”

The tears well in her eyes. “What would you be doing that’s selfish, Luke? You have a second chance at life. You should fucking live it. You have a future, and it has the boys, and the band, and me. I’m in your future.”

There’s a beat, because he’s looking at her, and he wants to cry but he wants to say it so badly.

He still doesn’t know how much time he has in the future, but Julie is telling him that she’ll be there. And he needed that more than anyone would understand.

“Well, aren’t I?”

Julie’s question shocks him a little because he hadn’t realized that he had been quiet for so long. Her bottom lip trembles the smallest amount when she sucks in a deep breath, and it sets him off to do what he had once deemed to be the most selfish act of all.

His free hand tucks itself in the hair on the base of her neck and tugs her towards him before he covers her mouth with his in a kiss that he has furiously dreamed of for a long time. For such a sweet moment, there is an overload of passion behind it. All of his fantasies were rushed and adrenaline-fueled after shows before he would talk himself down; and now, that is translating to this kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps as he pulls away. “That’s the selfish thing I was worried about. Fuck, I-”

Her hand wrestles free from his, and suddenly, two hands are on his cheeks like the night after the Orpheum and the love of his life is pulling herself into his lap. On autopilot, he untucks his leg from underneath him and shifts to sit normally on the couch while Julie’s legs hold her up on each side of his hips.

And she’s kissing him again, touching him again, before he can let the panic set in. She moves her lips against his like she has her own overflowing filing cabinet of feelings and fantasies and lyrics just for him.

Her hands wondrously drain every jolt of worry and anguish from his nervous system as they run from his face to his arms to his chest and back again. Kissing Julie Molina is a thousand little feelings and it’s own feeling in itself.

When you get cold water from a water fountain and it’s so refreshing that you insatiably want more. When the set ends and Luke is taking his bows and watching people scream and clap for their performance, knowing once again he’s succeeding in the one thing he’s ever wanted to do.

Only now, making music is now tied with making Julie happy on that list of priorities.

Holding her under his hands is stupidly one of his favorite things, and in this context, it is leaving him clawing for more. He applies more pressure against her back to try and press her closer, but it never feels like enough.

Julie is an endless fountain of fervor, and he can only drink up everything he can get.

She’s the one who pulls away this time; but she keeps her fingers knotted in his hair because she plans to not stray far.

“You’re not selfish,” she sighs, chest heaving with deep breaths. “If you think that’s selfish, then I’m selfish. And we can do this together. We deserve it.”

Hearing the words tumble from her lips cancels out every fight he’s ever had with his mother.

She’s right -- they do deserve it. She shut the world out for a year, he was locked away from the world for 25, and by some miraculous turn of fate, they were brought to each other.

“We deserve it,” he repeats, a little distracted by her blown pupils and delirious smile. “We deserve it.”

They lean in at the same time to fall back into one another like it’s a new routine they’ve set. Luke doesn’t say the words, not yet, at least-

Because like she said, they deserve this. Julie Molina is on his lap, in his arms, playing him with her soft hands like his skin is the ivory keys she’s been playing since childhood. He loves her, and he’s pretty sure that she loves him -- so maybe, even though the future is uncertain, he can just wait a little longer to tell her. There’s simultaneously less of a delay and less of a rush.

Later, when they’re in her room and staying up way too late for a school night in deep discussion, he mumbles it against her forehead while she has her head tucked into his shoulder and their shared earbuds are playing The End of All Things.

Any concerns of selfishness fade when she wastes no time in reciprocating his declaration and punctuating her feelings with a cripplingly soft kiss above his collar bone.

If any of this is selfish, they can be selfish together. Luke can find himself to be content in that if Julie is right there with him.

tags: @lydias--stiles @bluefirewrites @willexx @moreflowersthanweeds @ruzek-halstead @xxprettylittletimebombxx @unsaid-emily

#juke #jukebox #jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #juke fanfic #julie molina #luke patterson #julie molina x luke patterson #palina

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sadlysober · 3 years

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like to watch you suffer

Dream Team roomates x gn!reader Summary: Youre playing a scary game and your roommates come in to laugh at you support you. Warnings: swearing, shitty description of bloody/creepy things. lmk when you find any! A/N: just watched Tommy’s fnaf stream and i died. If you have any tips, requests or ideas, feel free to send them in :)

Starting up Twitch with hesitation as you check your subscriber count one last time to be sure. You reached your subgoal on your last stream and promised the chat to play a spooky game. Playing mostly family friendly games and usually with a group of friends, you weren’t exactly excited to be playing 2017′s Resident Evil 7. Clips from Jack and Felix only made you dread this moment even more. Appearantly your chat loves seeing you scared shitless.

You start your stream as you normally would: greating the chat, answering some dono’s. “I actually hate you guys for making me do this. But we’re gonna try it anyways. I have a slight idea what’s coming and am mentally not prepared, so let’s see how long I will last before crapping my pants.” You force a smile at your camera and start the game.

The first hour was doable, a couple of jumpscares and some bloody stuff. A few of the jumpscares made you squeal, while the disgusting cutscenes made you want to throw up. Losing your focus on the game as you read some of the dono’s. A lot of them were about the game and people wishing you a good stream. A couple of questions about the Dream Team popped up. “What is George up to? I think he might be streaming as well I’m not -” The loud noise in your headphones, accompanied by a bloody faces canabal with a chainsaw made you shriek, followed by a ton of swear words and you taking of your headphones, rolling your chair away from your desk.

As you sit a couple of feet away from your desk you hear a door closing and footsteps in the hallway. You open your door and call out. “Gogy?” Your chat can’t hear the boy answering you. “You busy? No? Want to join my suffering? Yeah ofcourse you do, bring a chair!” The dark haired boy walks into your room rolling his chair in, a tad too excited. Your chat went insane, seeing him come through the door.

“You already died? Damn, N/N.” He teased, sitting down next to you. His legs propped up on his chair, face popping in and out of the frame.

“Would you like to try, Gogy?” You mimicked his accent, causing George to lean back into his chair. “Alright, goodluck not dying.” He said in the saltiest voice he could. You put your headphones back on, plugging in a second pair for George and handing him the headphones. You continue playing the game, almost getting used to the disgustingness of the house.

“N/N, I have to agree with chat, seeing you being a scaredy cat is hilarious.” In the meantime you’re turning into Y/N “I am going to shit myself” Y/L/N. George just laughs at you while hanging out with the chat. Yet he too flinches at the jumpscares. “Guys, the reason you can’t see George right now is because he is a big pussy.” You laugh, recieving a soft punch to your arm in return.

Another half hour of you and George sitting on the edges of your chairs until Nick decides to have some fun. After hearing you yell a couple of times he’d tune into your stream. He waited for the right moment; you had just finished a cut scene and was wandering though the dark house that felt like a maze. The squeaky sound of the door opening made you lean back in your chair a bit more, as if something or someone would jump out of the room behind it.

The door behind you flew open with a loud bang, causing you and George to yielp. Followed by another jumpscare in the game. “Fuck you Sapnap, you little shit cunt fuck you-” You utter under your breath as you try your best not to die in game.

“Sapnap!” George whined. “What? I heard there was a party.” The boy stood in your doorframe, a cheeky grin covering his face. “Can I join?” He somewhat asked, already pulling out a chair to sit down besides you.

“Fine, but no more messing around or I’ll end the fucking stream guys.” Your chat excitedly greated him. Spamming you there will be a savepoint in a bit. “Alright guys I’m just gonna go for one more savepoint, if i don’t die from adrenaline overdose by then.”

The boys on your sides bickered while you were trying to find the way out. “Go left.” Nick hinted. “Don’t listen to him, N/N.” George told you. They were like some twisted kind of devil/angel pair on your shoulders. “Have you played this before Gogy?” Nick spat, looking over to the boy on the other side of you. “No, but they came from-” He tried to defend himself, before getting cut off. “That’s what I thought, leave it to the pro then.”

Trusting Nick’s gut you followed his instruction and went left. The sound of your footsteps are accompanied by heavy breathing, you look around with the little light you have. When you don’t immediatly die and thank Nick for the advice. A loud noice makes you turn around as you watch some creepy dolls fall down. “The sounds are honestly the creepiest thing about this game.” You say, continuing to walk around the room, looking for clues. Nick watches you, unbothered by the scary sounds as he doesn’t have any headphones on. “Chat why do you keep spamming ‘DEATH’? I’m not dying, I am clearly a pro.” You say proudly, not being as scared and jumpy as you had been. Yet the grin appearing on Nick’s face is telling you you should be. Moments later it became clear why. A loud screech, followed by one of the residents running towards you holding an axe and piercing the weapon through your chest.

The boy next to you dies of laughter, panting as he tries to catch his breath. “Your face- oh my god you face.” You shake your head at the boy. “Why did I even trust you in the first place. I thought you knew where the exit was.” You say, a tiny bit dissapointed in yourself for falling for it, but also laughing as George almost falls out of his chair from laughter. “Oh, but I do know where the exit is.” Nick teases. You look the boy dead in the eye and start debating whether or not to continue the game.

“100 subs and they’ll continue.” George tells your chat. “Guys, no-” It only took a couple of seconds until the counter was halfway there.

dreamwastaken has gifted 50 subs: go until the next savepoint

"Let’s go, N/N, you heard the big man.” You look straight into your camera and sigh. Alt-tabbing to swearword at Clay on Discord before going back to the game. “I hate every single one of those 50 subs and Dream. One more savepoint and that’s it!”

George nudges your arm, asking if Clay can join your little scary party. “Do I really need more critisism? What do we think chat? Spam 1 if you want Dream here, 2 if you don’t.” The chats start pouring in. “No, you’re supposed to spam 2 guys! Why aren’t you on my side. Argh, fine.” You shut your camera off and wait for Clay to come in. “No face reveal today guys.” George comments on your chat going crazy.

“You can sit on my lap Dream.” Nick said jokingly, tapping his lap. “I’d rather sit on George’s.” “No way.” The boys bicker back and forth.

“Dream, get out of the frame I’m turning my camera back on.” The tall guy settles on your bed, being able to see your monitor and the two guys next to you.

“Why do you keep dying, N/N?” He teases as you respawn in game.

“Think you can do better?” You ask, taking a right this time.

“I know I can.” You hear him mutter from the bed behind you.

You press pause, taking your hand of the controller. “Alright guys, you're all talk, why don’t you give it a try huh.”

“Cause we like watching you suffer.” Clay answers. You look over to your roommates, each and every one of them grinning at you.

With a loud sigh you continue playing the game, causing a lot of giggles and teasing as you almost have a heart attack. Nick and Clay keep their commentary coming as George mainly focusses on your chat. You get to the savepoint and finally end the stream.

Turning around in your chair so you face Clay. “I really hate you guys, that was the scariest shit I’ve ever played.”

George rests his arm on your shoulder. “No you don’t.”

“You love us.” Nick adds.

#i never actually played the game nor finished watching jack's playthrough #i did almost throw up #so if things dont add up game-wise #excuse me being too pussy to do proper research #dream smp #mcyt #georgenotfound #dreamwastaken #sapnap #dream #george #x reader #dream smp x reader #mcytx reader

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shikai-the-storyteller · 4 years

Text

Mae Catt’s Cyberverse Q&A

Here’s a neater version of some key Q&A responses from Mae Catt’s Cyberverse stream.

Please note: not everything is verbatim, and also note that Mae Catt said “Don’t take things I say as the end-all be-all.” She’s a big supporter of fanfic writers!

This Q&A session contains spoilers for Season 3 of Cyberverse. For a (somewhat) more comprehensive transcript, please refer to this post.

Q: Megop rights?

“Oh absolutely, duh.”

Q: What does Optimus do when he’s not giving speeches / being a leader when they were all hanging out on the ARK?

I think he reads, he seems like a heavy reader. It’d be cute if he read really bad Earth romance novels. He seems like a guy who needs a break from everything.

Q: Does Optimus have hobbies?

Not to borrow from Rung, but doesn’t it seem like Optimus would make model ships? Very quiet, very focused detail-oriented hobby. *pauses* Oh duh, he also plays basketball.

Q: How did the Decepticons learn to stream?

Because they’re deceptive! Megatron knew he should dedicate some time to winning the hearts and minds of humans. Starscreams’ funeral was not the first time they streamed. Optimus would use the official media channels (like the news), not a streaming service. Megatron would try to speak more directly to the people.

Q: Is Optimus the type of streamer who would take 10 minutes to figure out how to un-mute his microphone?

Optimus is a dad. He has no idea what’s going on with streaming. Optimus would say embarrassing things while Bee and Hot Rod were in the middle of streaming something.

Q: Is Megatron dead?

In discussions we wanted to kill him. We wanted to do a reverse Optimus death. However, in the final product, I kinda enjoy the ambiguity rather than the final decision. Can’t remember if we were decisive about that in the script.

Q: Did the Titan mind Decepticons living in them?

The Titans want to be cities. They want citizens. They want to be lived in, that brings them joy.

Q: Does Megatron do anything for fun or is he too angry?

I want to say he’s too angry, he has fun beating people down but I don’t think he’s had fun for a long time.

Q: How would you feel about a female Optimus Prime?

[GAY LAUGHTER]

The question is: do you turn Optimus Prime into a woman, or do you take characters like Elita One and uplift her? I would want to lean more into giving Elita One more oomph, I do love how Optimus doubts himself and if he’s worthy of being a Prime.

(Mae Catt talked a lot about representation and later mentioned how there's more pressure to write the girl characters well, especially because of the need for better representation. They wanted more girls in the show, and they planned to have Jazz be a girl).

Q: Elita prime when?

All the time, in my heart!

Q: Did you plan to have ___ character in the show?

Almost every character was discussed at least once.

She really regrets that they didn’t get to have Beast Machine Obsidian or Rumble and Frenzy in the show, and says she would’ve loved a MTMTE-style Ultra Magnus / Minimus and Transmutate. She didn’t know what Obsidian’s personality would be, it was just a “Look how cool he is!” sort of thing.

(Note: We have Mae Catt to thank for Whirl getting into Cyberverse)

Q: What was your favorite episode?

“I Am the AllSpark” because of the Megatron and Starscream dialogue (which she wrote). Also S2 04 Soundwave and Shockwave.

I enjoyed writing Starscream most, Clobber and Hot Rod became a joy, S2 E4 was my first episode, and it was fun getting into Hot Rod’s voice. It was hard doing Optimus’ voice, I’d always pass it off to someone to look at it.

Q: Did you ever plan to have Hot Rod become Rodimus?

Rodimus was never considered for the show because Optimus dying has been covered to death, but we were adamant about portraying Hot Rod as someone who wanted to be a leader. Hot Rod is someone who is learning to be a leader.

(On that note, when someone asked if she thought Bee would ever become Prime, Mae Catt said:)

I don’t think Bee would be a Prime. Windblade and Hot Rod would be a better Prime. He wouldn’t want to be a Prime. He’s the #2 to Primes!

Q: Did Megatron always plan to return to Cybertron?

Megatron’s priorities changed when he saw his doppelganger. Realizing he was a horrible tyrant, that scared him enough to return and not kill Optimus and make peace no matter what.

Q: Which death hurt you the most?

Starscream. (Slipstream’s hurt too).

We didn’t want to kill people off willy-nilly for shock value, but in certain instances it made sense. Like, the audience will fall in love with Slipstream because she’s becoming good, so she has to die. (She apologized for that sounding harsh). We killed Prowl because it was Shadow Striker doing the killing and he’s a self-sacrificing lieutenant. I almost wanted Starscream to emerge from the Judge’s head untouched, but I’m ultimately glad that idea got shot down.

(She circles back to this comment later, so I’m making note of that here since it wasn’t a direct response to a question)

When I was desperately trying to save Starscream’s life even though I brutally murdered Slipstream, I wanted Starscream to have amnesia and have a redeption arc. I wanted him to have a Windblade shard and have it be kind of like Castaway, where the only person he talked to was that (and the shard only had 5 phrases it could say). Eventually Bee would befriend him and he’d wind up with the Autobots.

I wanted to write Starscream kind of like an abuse victim who expects the worst of the Autobots, but I wanted him to warm up slowly to them. I wanted to have a Starscream and Optimus episode where Starscream messes up on something and Optimus is like “you did your best and that’s what counts”, a response which is totally new to Starscream. But obviously we didn’t have time for that.

Regarding redemption arcs (a continuation from the previous question, and a huge highlight from the stream):

Re: the potential for Starscream’s redemption arc “A redemption arc needs to be facilitated by a character acknowledging that what they did was wrong. He would have had a laundry list of excuses for it, even if there was all that evidence to the contrary, but the character needs to acknowledge that reasons don’t matter because people got hurt [by their actions]. [The character] needs to intend to do better. Let them try and let them fail, they don’t need to do a 180, it’s hard work to be a better person.”

NOTE: Mae Catt also made a few more comments re: the idea of a Starscream redemption arc on her Tumblr page.

Q: Did Megatron really kill Starscream?

The Starscream beatdown was super severe and they were like “holy frick they’re really going for it” when they saw the storyboards. According to Maecatt, Megatron didn’t kill Starscream when he slammed him down (which is a bit confusing since the show definitely made it seem like Starscream died).

Q: Did Drift die? Why was he a double-agent?

According to us, Drift did not make it, but I fully endorse whatever you want. We needed a double-agent, someone who would (seemingly) kill Hot Rod. (She says they went with Drift because of his history in the comics).

(Later on in the stream)

Maybe Drift is alive, maybe he’s rethinking his decision and he’ll come back later. Drift would’ve been helpful in S3 for sure, maybe he’d come back with Repugnis or something.

Q: Why are you so mean to Percy?

He's so mature and pragmatic that he can take it, and is willing to take one for the team bc he understands that it's what he needs to do. (In response to someone’s comment about his personality) Yes, he’s calmly feral.

Q: Is Skullcruncher Percy's bouncer now that he's running Maccadam's?

Oh totally.

(She later mentions that Percy has permanently taken over Maccadam’s. Also: Skullcruncher is a lady! She misses Mac, but Percy takes good care of her).

Q: If Tarn is the perfect Decepticon who's the perfect Autobot?

A firetruck alt mode, and an Autobot insignia as a face. Nat (her fiance) and I talked about it a lot. Optimus SHOULD be a fire truck, it makes the relationship between him and Ratchet a little more fun since Ratchet is an ambulance, and Optimus has an ax. It just makes sense!

(She agreed that the perfect Autobot would be Thunderclash after the chat said that).

On that note, Mae Catt said they used Tarn for the show because: “OBVIOUSLY (the perfect decepticon) should look like this guy. A faceless mindless Decepticon that only serves Megatron”.

Q: What sort of documents DID Optimus work on in the archives?

Probably historical archives and working on stuff about all the Primes. Something like the French / American revolution equivalent, which informed his speech writing for Megatron and his own ethics.

Q: Did you always plan to make Optimus socially awkward?

We “found” the social awkwardness for Optimus. Optimus was depicted as a father figure in S1 (implying it’s because S1 is from Bee’s perspective), S2 / S3 we were able to explore more and found the limits [writing him] and found it was hard to maintain that level of heroic dialogue. Optimus would feel awkward about it too. Randolph did an impression of Optimus’ speech for the Party Down episode. “[Optimus] can’t not be in war-mode.”

Q: Were Optimus and Megatron ever friends, or did they just work together on the speech stuff?

Oh hell yes, I think [the story] is always enhanced when they’re friends and when Optimus really believes in what Megatron was working on. Optimus’ rejection of Megatron is what pushes him over the edge, his best friend rejecting him pushes him into a place where he becomes a tyrannical person.

Q: Does Maccadam know we love him?

Mae Catt: *puts hand over hear heart and looks off into the distance dramatically* Yes.

Q: What’s the best selfie Arcee’s ever taken?

I like the one with the giraffe. Or maybe a selfie with some humans. I like the idea of Arcee having a bunch of human friends.

Q: What do the Transformers think of the Florida Man?

They can’t really tell the difference between humans, they don’t really get it. It just sorta looks like all the normal stuff they see on Earth (or something).

Q: Who’s the Florida Man of the Transformers?

Rack ‘n Ruin. But he’s too nice. Hmmm.

Q: What was most important to you personally to put out in each episode? Like humor/characterization/arcs

I wanted to make sure I didn’t write dialogue that was condescending to kids, wanted to be true about the character. Dialogue needs to be true to the characters, and gay. (Laughs)

Q: Do Transformers know what memes are?

They know what they ARE, but they don’t get it. We wanted Hot Rod to be super into Earth culture (winning races and driving off before humans could realize no one was in the car), but we never had time to really get into that.

Q: What music does Soundwave like?

We had a cut joke from S2 E5 [where Megatron and Optimus are popping through portals all around the world trying to find the All Spark] . Soundwave pops into Brazil where there’s a music festival and he crashes the concert and hang out. He likes EDM the most?

His favorite song is Despacito. He thinks its so sad.

Q: Were you surprised that Jake Tillman was in his 20s listening to his Optimus voice the first time?

She apparently listened to his vines a lot when he was in his teens so meeting up again like that was a cool coincidence.

Q: What other dimensions or places did you want to be in the show?

I would’ve liked to have the other Transformers series show up (TFP, TFA, G1, Shattered Glass) but we don’t have those assets or budget.

“This will quickly become unclear to audiences who aren’t (you people).” They couldn’t have all these references when some of their audience wouldn’t get it.

Q: What about ____ ship?

Mae Catt says she doesn’t want to yuck anybody’s yums. For example, someone asked about Arcee/Grimlock, and while she said she sees them more as friends, she didn’t say they can’t be in a relationship. (Mae Catt also said she doesn’t ship Bee with anyone because she sees him as a little brother).

As she said several times in the stream, “Don’t take things I say as the end-all be-all”!

That being said, she did say she likes Dead End / Perceptor and Windblade / Slipstream.

Q: Why are there no humans in the show?

From the show’s conception, there were no plans to include any humans. They didn’t want humans distracting from the Transformers.

Q: Why did the Scientist collect Soundwaves?

He collects Soundwave because Soundwave is COOL! Wouldn’t you collect a single father of 5 who carries them around in his chest?

Why does anyone collect what they collect? “That’s a really angry dad who’s got five children he carries around in him and he plays music. Gotta have that!”

(Later on, she circles back to this question)

All the Other Universe Soundwaves the Scientist collected also had their own Laserbeaks. I wonder if the scientist would’ve taken them out. He might’ve just gotten rid of them.

(And of course, here are the boyfriend questions from the stream:)

Q: Is Dead End a good boyfriend?

Dead End is a work in progress, but maybe Percy is patient enough to get him there

(Mae Catt says she really loves the Deadceptor ship. She knew people would ship it, but she didn’t ship it herself until she saw the fanart for it).

Q: Is Astrotrain a good boyfriend?

No, no...he’s not a good person, really.

Q: Is Percy a good boyfriend?

Absolutely--WAIT HOLD ON. He’s very blunt, he doesn’t mince words, if you can handle his bluntness then you’re good. He is what he is and you have to deal with him.

Q: Is Soundwave a good boyfriend?

Soundwave is not a good boyfriend. He’s a good casual romance but he’s not a good boyfriend. Soundwave would be a terrible listener. He hears a lot but he’d tune you out.

Other information tidbits:

- If Thunderclash was in the show he and Jetfire would HATE each other. Thunderclash would be a rival reality star (maybe) to Media Fire.

- Mae Catt said “A lot of intelligent life is inherently mechanical” in space, explaining why so much of the non-Cybertronian life we saw in the show were robots.

- Knock Out was considered for the show, but every Transformer under the sun was discussed at some point in the writer’s room. (Ex: “Rumble and Frenzy are always considered in my heart, but there wasn’t enough time or space or assets to do so”).

- “The brand team had grown up on the toys as we had grown up on the ‘toons, so we just wanted to make the best thing imaginable.”

- They decided Optimus would be in the Other Universe’s Matrix and have a plinth because they wanted to show he was dead. “Logical backflips because he needed to be among the 13 to talk to Windblade.”

- Dead End’s eyes are white.

- The team wanted Jazz to be a lady (!!!!!!!)

- These characters have their own lives that we don’t see. Lots of stuff happening between episodes that we don’t always necessarily see.

- Developing Sky-Byte’s character was simultaneous with Jetfire’s character. “We knew we wanted Sky-Byte to be a poet, and we wanted him and Megatron to be chummy”.

- Percy did permanently take over Mac’s bar.

- Her favorite VA is Jeremy Levy, he’s a really cool guy.

- She thinks Starscream and Cheetor could become (not necessarily friends, but connected?) because of their connection to the All Spark. Mentions how Starscream acknowledge Cheetor as the “Guardian of the Allspark”.

- Mae Catt describes Starscream as an “Awful gremlin” several times.

- Astrotrain and the Insecticons are from Megatron X’s universe.

- She thinks Cliffjumper and Bee wouldn’t get along, solely because of the IDW2 comic stuff. (They had a cut joke about someone telling Bee he should paint himself red and Bee saying, “But then everyone will think I’m Cliffjumper!”).

- Cyberverse got 26 episodes for season 3 because they had the 4-part episode movies.

- Megatron cares about his troops, but not in a way that we would notice that care.

- AcidStorm is genderfluid.

- Cold Construction doesn’t exist in this show. When asked why all the Seekers look the same then, Mae Catt says “Maybe there’s one jet mode all the seekers really like”.

- She loves the idea of Wild Wheel robbing Astrotrain in train-mode, totally Wild West-style.

- One of the things she’s proudest of was turning Lugnut into a gal (and having so much body diversity and gender-neutral designs for a lot of characters). They wanted to include many more girls in Cyberverse (Nickel and Lightbright among them). She also mentioned that Shadow Striker is taller than Optimus or is his height.

- She describes Cosmos as “R2D2, but a Transformer!”

- Maccadam looking like a buff Rung was just a strange coincidence.

- Blurr really was the fastest.

- Mae Catt says we absolutely SHOULD write fanfic. Fanfiction made her into the writer she is today. She wrote non-stop Matrix fanfic from the age of 12-20 years old. It helped her learn a lot about writing.

- She uses “They” pronouns for Rack ‘n Ruin when referring to both of them, but says that individually they both use “he”.

- She’s really sad that Skywarp didn’t get a speaking line.

- Mae Catt won’t say whether Ratchet finished medical school or not. (She laughed when someone commented "I don’t believe that man has ever been to medical school”). She also says she wants “I choose to believe Ratchet has never been to medical school” on a T-shirt.

- When asked why Rack ‘n Ruin were captains of the Ark in one universe, she says they’re probably the Prime in that one weird universe (lmao).

- She loves the idea that Transformers have siblings / families.

- In a world where they had an unlimited budget, it’d be fun if Cybertronians were constantly shape-shifting and changing their forms. Example: she’d like having Transformers who “grew a beard” and decided to “shave it”.

- She doesn’t understand cycles or astrocycles, she doesn’t understand the weird Transformers time stuff. (mood)

- She loved Beast Wars Inferno, she loved that Inferno called Megatron a Queen. It was played as a joke because the 90s weren’t very socially conscious, but she liked that Megatron never corrected him or beat him down.

- Shockwave altered his spark to have maximum bad vibes to destroy the All Spark.

- She said it’s hard talking about writing a show because you’re designing the experience and you have to make sometimes what sounds like cold and pragmatic decisions (eg: "we need a cold and spunky female”) which sucks, but they need to balance out the show. She says she’d never do that just for the sake of doing it, but it’s part of something that they do need to be aware of while working on a show. “It starts from a weirdly cold pragmatic place, but we try and put truth in it”.

- They didn’t want to have Unicron in the show since he’s the default “big bad”, but if he was in the show, Mae Catt says “If you put the proverbial budget-gun to my head, I’d keep Unicron in planet-mode because it’s more mysterious, but I want both alt modes”.

- Her favorite Megatron is Beast Wars Megatron.

- She doesn’t like Sky Lnxy’s design, it’s creepy. “He talks in the G1 episodes and the voice makes it worse.” She can’t get over his face.

- “I’d love to see more jets [who aren’t our usual gang] and find out all jets are kinda snobby, which explains why Starscream’s the way he is”.

- Everyone on the Autobot side are friends with each other.

Thanks for your time Mae Catt! We’re lucky to have you. Thank you for all your hard work on this amazing show.

#Megaop #Megop #Deadceptor #Cyberverse #mae catt #Primordial Robot hell #Transformers #I'm watching Cyberverse #i talk #Cyberverse spoiler /#Legitimately half these questions were ones I asked thank you Mae Catt for being so sweet #We're so lucky to have you #I loved that moment in the stream where everyone spammed the Lesbian / Bi flag #that was so cute!#(I was DecepticonGroupie)

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terreisa · 3 years

Text

Love Down the Line: Chapter 9

The last thing Indie musician Emma Swan needs is a gigantic wrench thrown in the workings of her biggest tour to date weeks before its launch. When her backing guitarist that caused the problem says she has the perfect solution Emma is skeptical but left with little choice but to accept. Unfortunately she isn’t really prepared for said solution to be former Rock Star and leading man of Emma’s teenage fantasies, Killian Jones. With no other options and a month of performing across the country ahead of her Emma just hopes she doesn’t come to regret letting Killian onto her stage and into her life.

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, AO3

~*CS*~

Los Angeles, May 24th

“-and there’s a bit of a backup on the 405 just south of the 10 due to a two car accident in the southbound lanes. That’s the morning traffic report brought to you by your local Southern California Honda dealer. This is Treena in the morn’ and I got some Yaz on the way along with Echo and the Bunnymen and Talking Heads after this-”

“A clock radio?” Emma mumbled into the pillow, “Really? What are you, like, three hundred?”

Killian’s chuckle stirred the hair at the back of her neck, “Try thirty-five, love.”

“So you say,” she groused as he reached over her to turn off the alarm. She blinked up at him as he set his hands on either side of her shoulders, looming over her with a smile, “I bet you still have a landline, old man.”

“And a rather impressive laserdisc collection,” he said with a wink.

“You would.”

He laughed, a bright joyous thing that had her smile stretching from ear to ear. It was the last of the three days of no shows that they had while in LA and the second morning she’d woken in the bed of Killian’s house in Malibu. Since their first night together in Denver they hadn’t slept apart, much to Tink’s delight and Will’s annoyance. When they’d arrived in LA Emma had been surprised and pleased to discover that Killian had a house there where no one would disturb them as long as they kept their phones on silent. Unfortunately it hadn’t really been an option as her suddenly vibrating phone reminded her.

“What time is Regina sending the car?” Killian asked as he dipped his head and started trailing kisses down her throat.

She hummed in pleasure, blindly swiping at her phone to dismiss the call, “Nine. We’re having brunch with people from the label to talk about the next album and then it’s interviews for the rest of the afternoon.”

“And after all that we’ll rendezvous back here for dinner and a bit of Netflix and chill,” he murmured into her collarbone before dragging his tongue across it.

“You go-” her breath hitched as his hand travelled up her thigh, “going somewhere?”

He paused his ministrations, much to her frustration, and said somberly, “Aye, Robin still lives out here with his son. I haven’t been in town for… well, quite a while and I’m long overdue for a visit.”

The delicious tension she’d been feeling mellowed into something warm and soothing at his earnestness. Ever since they’d landed he’d waxed nostalgic about all the things he’d used to do in the city, places he’d eaten that he wasn’t sure were still around, venues he’d played, museums he’d spent hours getting lost in and all the interesting people he’d met in that time. What he hadn’t mentioned once was his former bandmate and friend. In the bright morning light streaming through the wall of windows she could see that for some reason he was nervous about seeing him again.

“You guys talk all the time,” she reminded him, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair and cupping his cheek, “I interrupted one of your FaceTime dates just a couple of days ago.”

Killian chuckled, “Aye, and don’t think I haven’t received more than my fair share of nosey texts about that since.”

She blushed, forgetting that when she’d done the interrupting she’d been wearing one of his shirts and not much else.

“Seeing as Robin has come to Boston several times in the years that I’ve been there it’s only fitting that he gets to monopolize some of my time while I’m here,” he said, one shoulder lifting higher than the other in a half shrug. “I’ll be home by the time you’re done with your interviews.”

“You don’t have to rush back just for me,” she said quickly, guilt already pulling at her, “Just text me when your male bonding time is over.”

“We’ll deal with the logistics later, love,” he murmured, turning his head slightly to press a kiss to her palm, “For now I’d like to pick up where we left off before-”

Emma sighed in disappointment as her phone began to vibrate again. Knowing that Regina was the only one who would not only call but do so before nine a.m. no matter the time zone she couldn’t ignore it. She’d made the mistake of doing it before a show in Arizona once and had sworn Regina would have pushed her into the Grand Canyon if she’d been given the opportunity.

Gently nudging Killian off of her with an apology she sat up and grabbed her phone. Killian sat up behind her, pushing her hair to one side as he nuzzled into her neck. Giggling but in no way discouraging him she swiped up to answer.

Regina started talking the second the call connected, “The car will be there in thirty minutes to take you straight to the restaurant-”

“Wait, what?” Emma jerked away from Killian’s ministrations to look at the clock on the bedside table and saw it was only a little after seven. “I thought you said it’d be here at nine!”

“Plans have changed,” Regina said off-handedly. “The brunch meeting is now a breakfast meeting and I’ve pushed up one of your radio interviews to give you the time you’ll need for the streaming exclusives.”

“Exclusives?” She asked warily.

“Enchanted XM wants you to curate a ten song playlist and record intros for their Alt Rock station and then there will be an in-depth interview with one of their djs. Snowdrops and Buttercups has been their number one request since its debut and is poised to take the number one spot on the chart next week. It’s also been getting increasing play on their hits station. We need to strike while the iron’s hot.”

Emma tipped her head back to stare at the ceiling as she counted to ten to keep her patience. She was well aware that self promotion came with the territory, especially as a solo artist, and usually she had no problem giving interviews or whatever little fun extras needed to do so. What she hated was that Regina tended to take liberties with her schedule whenever they were in a big enough city and there was extra down time. It was all the more frustrating that Regina knew that things between her and Killian had shifted and apparently didn’t care about infringing on their time alone together.

“We’ll still be done by six right?” She asked, resigned, Killian’s warm hand gliding across her shoulders calming her much more than her counting had.

“Yes,” Regina huffed and Emma could practically hear her eyes rolling, “You and lover boy can have your romantic evening together and don’t think we won’t be discussing how to play whatever it is you two are doing to the press.”

“Really?” She growled.

“Really.”

Before Emma could even begin to shoot down that idea Regina had hung up, leaving her staring at the phone in her hand with disbelief and anger. Even Killian’s gentle ministrations were no longer helping.

“I need to get ready,” she said mournfully, moving to stand from the bed.

Killian stopped her with a hand on her wrist, “Everything alright, love?”

“Yeah, everything’s great. The meeting with the label got moved and there’s already a car on its way. Which normally wouldn’t be a big deal but-” she shrugged, still angry but also starting to blush, “We were getting to the good stuff.”

“That we were,” he agreed with a salacious grin. Then the grin faded and he narrowed his eyes at her, “Was there something else she said? You seem upset over more than just an earlier meeting.”

Emma hesitated. As much as she wanted to share her frustration with Regina dictating her life she couldn’t do so without bringing up the questions she’d successfully avoided since the morning after they’d first slept together. First and foremost, was what they were doing just as important to him as it was to her and if it was, then what did that mean for them once the tour was over and they returned to their respective lives. Chickening out she figured they could talk it over later, when there wasn’t a time constraint or a full day of interviews where she’d need to keep focused.

She shook her head and smiled, “Nothing you need to worry about. Regina just has me getting some list of songs together for some streaming thing and I have no idea what I’m going to pick. It takes me two hours to edit the playlists I already have, how the hell am I supposed to choose ten songs and then talk about them?”

“Simple, pick one of your playlists, put it on random and the first ten songs that play are the ones you choose,” he said easily. “You already know and enjoy those songs if you spent two hours picking them and there’s no pressure of trying to curate a perfect list from scratch.”

“That’s… actually a really good idea-” she beamed, grabbing her phone and bouncing up from the bed. She spun around and gave what she hoped was a come hither look, “You know, I hear California is in a drought. It’d be a shame to waste water by taking separate showers.”

His lips curled wickedly, “I’d say that I love the way your mind works, Swan.”

Taking his hand she led him into the bathroom and made good use of the less than twenty minutes they had before her car arrived. Several hours later, however, she wished she had pushed back a little more against the schedule Regina had set up for her. Of course she’d had no way of knowing that her too short morning with Killian was going to be the least stressful of her day.

Sitting in one of the green rooms at Enchanted XM between the recording session for her song picks and her interview she let her eyes slide shut. It had already been a long day and it was nowhere near being over and done with. The breakfast meeting had been good, the representatives from the label had been pleased that she had already written a few songs that she felt were strong contenders for the next album and they had easily agreed to giving her three months off after the tour to work on the rest. Even Regina had been pleased with the meeting, if her short and not too unreasonable list of demands for moving forward were any indication.

The interview she’d done directly after had been the kind that she’d gotten used to over the years. Questions that were more often than not the same ones others had asked her time and again. She’d gotten good at making it sound like she was hearing them for the first time and varying her answers just enough so she didn’t sound like a robot. The best part were the teasing texts from Killian waiting for her once she was done. She was surprised and touched that he had taken the time out of his day to listen to her interview, especially since he knew how unexciting they could be.

As her day continued Regina had left her to make her way to the Enchanted XM studios on her own. Once there she had immediately had to get to work ironing out her list of songs and recorded the intros with the program producer. It had been more fun than she’d anticipated. She’d already had her choices written down in one of her ever present notebooks, having listened to a randomized playlist in the car on her way to breakfast like Killian had suggested. The first ten songs that had played had been perfect but she’d made one substitution to make sure that a Realm of Jewels song was one of her picks. It was her thank you to Killian for giving her the idea in the first place and a not so subtle wink to whatever was going on between them.

The producer, a woman named Gwen, had been impressed with her choices. They’d spent nearly an hour talking them over, working through a rough script of what she would say about each one. Then she had been taken to a small recording booth where it had taken less than an hour to get what they needed. She’d wanted to text Killian about it but Gwen had immediately invited her to lunch and she hadn’t had the chance. Once they’d returned to Enchanted’s headquarters she’d been asked to record a few small promos for the stations that played her songs in heavy rotation. Not willing to say no she’d been ushered to another recording booth with barely any time to take a breath.

Being left alone in the green room was a welcome break from what had become an increasingly busy day. Just as she was about to pull out her phone for the first time since after her first interview the door opened and Regina stormed in, angrily snapping at whoever the poor soul was that was still in the hallway.

“-not recording as scheduled and I want to know why a rider was requested when nothing that is on it is in this room. There’s not even a bottle of water. See that it gets taken care of.”

“Of course, Ms. Mills.”

The disembodied voice wavered slightly and Emma's earlier annoyance at Regina flared back up.

“The water that’s in here is fine,” she called out, leaning forward and catching the eye of the young woman in the hallway giving her an apologetic smile. She turned pointedly to Regina and glared, “I don’t need anything else.”

“That’s not the point,” Regina sniffed, her dark eyes narrowing followed by the sound of retreating footsteps. “Certain expectations were to be met and they weren’t. Just one more thing this company has failed at. I have a mind to stop booking appearances here if they’ll just be treated like this.”

“Okay, this is about something more than water bottles and a missing box of Milk Duds. What’s going on?” Emma asked suspiciously.

Regina pursed her lips as she took out her phone and began rapidly typing. Emma waited patiently for her to answer, knowing better than to push if she wanted to keep her head on her shoulders. With a final tap on her screen Regina focused back on her with a wary look that immediately had her on edge.

“You were supposed to do the on air interview with Graham Humbert but apparently due to an ‘unfortunate’-” Regina rolled her eyes, “scheduling conflict you have to do it with Walsh Hoakley instead.”

Emma groaned. An interview with Graham would have been fun and easy. They’d both gotten their start in the business around the same time, so he not only knew what types of questions she enjoyed answering but what her boundaries were when it came to her personal life. Walsh, on the other hand, was the complete opposite.

Every interview she’d had with him had her sitting through bad jokes and his comparing her career against his own. He had been the frontman of a pop punk group that had taken a break almost a decade before, though he insisted that it was only a matter of time before they would release another album. It was bad enough she had to play nice as he gave her unsolicited advice but once the mics were turned off he tended to dial up his smarmy charm and invite her out for drinks or a meal. She’d always firmly said no but he’d kept it up and after their last interview nearly two years earlier she’d told Regina that she preferred not to do any more with him.

“I thought he was with that big station in New York,” she said sullenly.

“Apparently not,” Regina sniffed. Her eyes softened fractionally, “Do you want me to reschedule?”

“No,” she sighed, “We’re already here and I know we don’t have any time to come back while we’re still in LA. Plus I don’t want rumors starting that I’m being difficult over Walsh Hoakley. I don’t want to give him that honor.”

Regina smirked, “I’m sure he’d dine out on that for years.”

“He would. So where’d you disappear to?” Emma asked, through talking about Walsh.

“I do have other clients that happen to conveniently live where their label’s offices and some of the best recording studios are,” Regina said drolly, perching herself delicately on a chair. “You might want to reexamine the benefits of moving out here after this tour is done. You’re only going to get bigger from here on out.”

She hummed noncommittally. For a few seconds she let herself daydream about moving into Killian’s beachfront house, waking up in his arms every morning before heading to the studio that would admittedly be leaps and bounds better than the one back in Maine. She could almost see herself returning at the end of her day to find Killian preparing dinner in the kitchen or strumming his guitar on the balcony. Before her thoughts went any further than that she stopped them in their tracks, forcing herself to remember all the reasons why she loved living in Storybrooke and to not let herself get wrapped up in a fantasy. She didn’t let herself dwell on how her imaginings had given her the same feelings of home that her real memories of Storybrooke did.

Ten minutes and an increasingly impatient Regina later another assistant came to show them to the recording booth. From behind the glass they watched as Walsh introduced the next group of songs that would be playing and teased her interview. As soon as he switched off his mic she was ushered into the booth, shown which headphones and mic to use and then left alone with him. To her great relief he smiled and shook her hand, seemingly not knowing that she had requested not to do interviews with him. She smiled back, settling in the chair in front of the mic she’d been shown and adjusted everything to her liking. As they waited for the queued songs to finish playing they made small talk about their day and the thankfully very few mutual acquaintances they had.

The interview started off well. Walsh only mentioned his band Behind the Curtain twice and kept his advice to a minimum. Emma found herself actually enjoying the questions he asked, responding with enthusiasm when he asked about living in Maine and her writing process. She was so caught up in lightheartedly debating with him over notebooks versus a phone app to write lyrics that she was surprised when he mentioned that their time was drawing to a close.

“So, Emma, before you go, how has this tour been so far? You’ve only got a few shows left right?”

“Yeah, just the last few cities heading north but it’s been really, really great,” she enthused, “This is the biggest tour I’ve ever done and the fans have been amazing in every city we’ve played. I’m actually really looking forward to tomorrow night’s show since it’s where they have the Oscars.”

“Right, the Dolby theater, when we played it was still the Kodak and it’s a great venue. Bigger than what you would think when you see it on tv,” Walsh said with a wink and a grin.

Emma fought against a cringe at his bad innuendo, glad that he hadn’t been like that through the whole interview.

“I haven’t had a chance to get in the space yet and, I know this is really nerdy or whatever, but I’m really excited to stand on the same stage that some of my favorite actors have been on. I mean, some of my idols have played there and it’s always an honor to get to perform where they have too, but come on, tomorrow I could be standing in the exact spot where Meryl Streep or Tom Hanks or Oprah have stood. Oprah!”

Walsh chuckled, “So you still get starstruck meeting other celebrities?”

“Oh, yeah,” she said with a nod. “I don’t even think of myself as a celebrity. I live in the same town I mostly grew up in, all my friends are ones I’ve had since before I even thought about recording an album, I don’t even have ‘people’ or whatever. I nearly had a heart attack seeing Lady Gaga from across the room at a benefit concert once.”

“So how was it when you met Killian Jones, famous guitarist for Realm of Jewels, before the start of your tour?”

She shot a glance to the window into the sound booth where Regina had been throughout the whole interview. Regina barely looked up from her phone and nodded, twirling her hand in a gesture Emma took to mean keep going. They had talked about what would happen when Killian was finally recognized but the longer they went without it happening the more she had convinced herself that they could get through the whole tour with no one the wiser. It seemed their time was up. Taking a deep breath to settle her racing heart she looked back at Walsh and found him watching her closely.

“I was surprised and a little annoyed actually,” she said with a small laugh. “Ruby, the guitarist I usually tour with, had broken her arm but said that she’d found her replacement for me. The thing was she wouldn’t tell me who it was so I walked into the recording studio and Killian was there. Realm of Jewels was one of my favorite bands, still is, so seeing him sitting there was a kinda surreal fangirl moment and intimidating too, knowing how good of a guitarist he is.”

“Rumors have been circulating on social media for a few weeks that it was Killian onstage for your tour and then earlier this afternoon uber-producer Robin Locksley seemed to confirm it-” Walsh pulled up a sheet of paper and began reading, “He said in an interview: ‘I’m very excited to begin working with Killian Jones on new music and other projects moving forward. He’s been touring the past few weeks as a backing guitarist and he told me it’s been a great first step to getting back out there. I was even fortunate enough to hear a few rough cuts of songs he’s already written for a new solo album and they’re amazing. I really can’t wait.’ Since you’ve confirmed it yourself have you heard any of his new songs while on the road? He’s already with your label and turns out he signed on with your manager Regina Mills back in March so will the rest of the tour be a double bill? Maybe even a possibility of a duet in the future?”

Emma felt dazed, like she’d been hit with a pillow shot out of a cannon. She had completely forgotten that Robin had become a music producer after Liam and Milah had died. He’d even sent her an email after her last album had been released, saying he wanted to work with her at some point. That little detail was nothing compared to the realization that Killian hadn’t mentioned that his lunch with Robin was really about business. He hadn’t even hinted that he had whole songs written let alone recorded anything. Worst of all was that he had signed on with Regina before he’d joined the tour and she knew without a doubt Regina would do anything necessary to further a client’s career. Especially if the final outcome would prove advantageous for two clients at once.

“I, uh, haven’t listened to anything he’s recorded-”

Her phone buzzed at her elbow. There were several notifications but the preview screen showed a text from Regina. She opened it in a daze.

Regina: No double billing, play coy about duet, plug rest of tour, still seats in Vancouver

The fog she’d been in cleared away as white hot anger took its place. She looked at Regina through the glass and found her making the same ‘continue on’ motion she had before. There was no sign of an apology on her features, only impatience and the ever present look of expectation that she perform well. While acting wasn’t her forte she was more than ready to give the performance of a lifetime.

“Killian was only brought on temporarily until Ruby was well enough to play again. Luckily her recovery happened to work out perfectly with us arriving in LA-” she knew she sounded too upbeat but pushed through, “I’m sorry to dash any hopes but Killian has decided to stay here and focus on his own music. Ruby will be back for tomorrow night’s show and will be finishing out the tour. We’re sold out for most of those shows but I think there’s still some tickets left for Vancouver, but not many.”

“So, no duet?” Walsh asked hopefully and Emma wasn’t sure if he meant musically or hinting at something between her and Killian.

“Nope,” she said decisively, her heart cracking as she did. “I’ll be taking some time off after this tour is done. Rest and relaxation are the only duets I’ll be performing any time soon.”

Walsh laughed, “Now that’s a duo everyone loves. Well, Emma, it’s been great talking to you.”

“You too,” she said with feigned pleasure.

“Here’s Emma’s latest single ‘Snowdrops and Buttercups’ which has been flying up the charts. Safe to say you’ll be playing it tomorrow?”

“Yup. It’s been fun to see the responses get more enthusiastic as it gets played on the radio more,” she said, finally feeling like she was being genuine.

“That’s always a great feeling,” Walsh said with a grin. “Alright, here it is ‘Snowdrops and Buttercups’. Thanks for stopping by, Emma.”

“Thanks for having me.”

As the first notes of her song filled the studio Emma ripped off the headphones, ignoring the constant buzz of her phone at her elbow. She wasn’t sure who it was that was calling, she’d told everyone important to her about the interview and she knew they had probably all tuned in to listen. With the way her pulse was pounding in her temples she wasn’t too sure she could keep herself from unfairly snapping at whoever it was and whatever questions they were going to have.

“Emma?”

She looked up at Walsh and by the way his grin faltered a bit she was sure that her anger was painted clear across her face.

“Yeah?”

“Er, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a drink?” He asked hesitantly. “Talk a little shop, maybe?”

“I already have plans,” she said shortly, the words tasting like the ashes of the evening she originally thought she’d be having.

“Coffee then? Or lunch? I’m up for anything really,” He said with a wink and a chuckle.

“Look, I don’t know how much more clear I can make this but I’m not ‘up’ for doing anything with you,” she snapped, his annoying persistence the final straw. “I thought that you’d gotten better than the last time you tried this but apparently not.”

She snatched up her phone and turned to leave when she heard him scoff and mutter something under his breath. She spun back to face him.

“Wanna share with the whole room?”

“Yeah, actually,” he said with a sneer that twisted his face into something vicious. “You act all high and mighty but you’re just a step away from falling into obscurity just like me. That whole thing about Jones was given to me by your people and by tomorrow morning both your careers will be reaping the benefits from it. I could have helped you along even further with the contacts I have in this business.”

Emma gaped at him, “By going out with you? Classy, you sack of shit.”

Something flashed in Walsh’s eyes, “You-”

“Emma! Let’s go, now.”

For half a second she was grateful that Regina had burst into the room, then she remembered why she was angry in the first place. She brushed past her, ignoring her stream of hissing admonishments and the stuttered apologies of the producer. Halfway back to the green room she realized her phone was still buzzing non-stop. Her stomach lurched, not wanting to know if it was Killian calling when she was walking the thin line between yelling at him or breaking down in tears. Steeling herself she finally looked at the screen and breathed a sigh of relief, swiping to answer.

“Ruby, pack your shit. I need you in LA tonight.”

#captain swan #captain swan fan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfiction #captain swan fan fiction #cs ff #cs fanfic #cs fan fic #ouat ff #my writing

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yeojaa · 4 years

Text

SUGAR HIGH, chapter xiii. (w. JJK)

You're not entirely sure when it happened, though you'd come to terms with it. You'd counted the days, waiting for the inevitable. You'd truly thought you'd be okay, but by the broken, half-beating thing in your chest - you knew you'd never really been prepared.

alt summary. You thought you’d known real love and maybe you had - it just wasn’t with who you thought.

pairing. jeon jungkook. mentions/involvement of ot7.

tags. angst, break up, post-break up, comfort, OT7, slow burn, friendship, moving on, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, emotional baggage, fluff, canon compliant, jeon jungkook is bad at feelings, jeon jungkook is a good friend, jeon jungkook is a sweetheart.

rating. general (for now?)

word count. ~1800

chapter 13. Like We Used To

When you're like this, it's easy to fall back into old routines and forget how his mouth had burned imaginary paths across your skin, setting you alight like kindling. It's far easier to separate the two versions of him as he stands beside you, hip knocking against yours as his enthused laughter wraps you up in your own little universe of two.

You stay like that for a long time - longer than you should, after all that's transpired. It's hard not to when his arms feel like home, the only thing capable of holding you together.

You know it's selfish, though. Can feel it in the beginnings of your bones and through every fibre, colouring you black and blue from the inside out.

Still, It isn't enough to make you stop.

(Just a few minutes more.)

Eventually, Jungkook shifts, though he does his best to keep from jostling you. You'd been so peaceful in his arms, the sobbing, broken girl seemingly a lifetime away by the time sunlight began to stream through the large uncovered windows. You meet his eyes curiously, chin canting with the same emotion.

"I need to pee," he says apologetically, like he's at all to blame for the basic human instinct. At least it makes you laugh, short and sweet. He wants to bottle that sound and keep it under his pillow, absorb it into his skin through contact that's never quite enough. You're so pretty like this, before the weight of the day has settled on you. He thinks about telling you but doesn't, because that's not the kind of relationship you have and well, he really does need to get up.

You notice the discomfort because otherwise you're sure he'd never push you off. He never rushed you. "Oh, sorry."

Despite your motion to extract your limbs - your hand from his chest, his legs from beneath you, fingers from hair - he seems reluctant to let you go, squeezing you infinitesimally tighter. You feel it all the way through to your heart, the muscle stuttering to life like his touch is a defibrillator bringing you back from the edge.

"Just one more minute."

You're not sure who's indulging who when you relax back into him, your tired body sinking into all the crevices between you. It's only when you're nestled into the crown of his head, the velveteen strands tickling your nose, that you speak. "I'm sorry about last night."

It's not enough, you know, to say these words and offer no explanation. You also know he'll never press you, because he'll be there when you're ready. Such a shame that you're not sure whether that day will ever come, but you keep that locked tightly behind the cage of your teeth, swallowing the key.

"Stop apologizing," he chides with what you think is a roll of his eyes. It certainly sounds like a roll of his eyes.

"You're going to be exhausted today," you return. You can already see it in the molting beneath his eyes, the way the hollows look heavy enough for you to curl into. Guilt returns in waves, fingers tracing the purple that mars his complexion. He leans into your touch, humming affectionately.

"You can bring me coffee. I'll be fine." The words are pressed into the palm of your hand and it feels almost like something else.

You're tearing yourself away from him before he can react. You don't catch the look of hurt that flickers across his face when you're across the bed, tangled in his sheets. But he sees the way you look like a frightened animal, your hair sticking up in all directions and your hand shoved between your knees. You won't look at him, though you sound a little crazy when you sing-song, "you should get up."

He's racking his brain for what he did wrong when he stands and moves toward the adjoined bathroom.

"I'll be quick, then you can brush your teeth." Because just like at your place, you have a little drawer. It's been wholly untouched for the better part of the last three years - the duration of your relationship with him - but Jungkook kept it regardless. He even occasionally used your facial cleansing pads. They just smelt so nice - like green tea and honey - and it was a nice reminder of you.

True to his word, the door swings open almost as quickly as it had closed and he's peeking around it with a toothbrush jammed against his cheek. He waves yours at you, toothpaste already spread neatly across the top, and you're shuffling over, throw tossed haphazardly over your shoulders.

"Don't get any toothpaste on that," he warns around a mouthful of bristles.

You both watch - you in amusement and he in horror - as a tiny glob of spittle lands on your shoulder. The speed with which he wipes it off has you laughing as you go about brushing your own teeth, meeting his pout in the mirror.

Because this is your best friend, the same boy you've known since you were four feet tall. The one that had pushed you into the ocean when you'd been too afraid to dip your toes, dragging you in like you weighed nothing. He was the one who'd nearly burnt your house down in attempts to mimic your father's bungeo-ppang, placing the blame solely on you because he knew you could get away with it.

Jungkook might've been the person you were now, somehow, heels over head for, but that didn't erase everything else.

He spits, rinsing all traces of mint from his mouth and toothbrush before slotting it back into place in the little bunny-shaped brush holder. "We have the day off today." The stare he levels you with is expectant but soft, like hope dangling from a gossamer thin string.

"No, you don't," you state matter-of-factly, returning your toothbrush to your own fox-shaped holder beside his. You momentarily the lock of confusion that flickers across his face, cutting him off when he begins to speak. "You're busy with me."

Sometimes, your mood swings give him whiplash. This time, he doesn't mind. "Oh, right. How could I forget?"

The two of you stumble out of his bedroom a short while later. The apartment is eerily quiet for being occupied by seven men but you take the opportunity to throw yourself into the nearest seat.

"There's not much in here." His voice carries from the kitchen where he's poking into the fridge.

"We can order in. Or whatever." Honestly, it doesn't really matter to you. You've always indulged in Jungkook's eating habits but find yours significantly more reasonable, though that's not really saying a lot.

Your legs are shifted, raised to make room for him as he settles down beside you before allowing your feet to return to their rightful place across his lap. You admire the way he deftly peels the apple in his hands, setting near continuous rope of skin on the side table. It feels oddly domestic.

"It's too hard for delivery drivers to get into the complex," he reminds you. One of the downfalls of living such a life.

"Then I guess we'll starve," you say, solemnly. His snort shakes his shoulders and he swats at your socked foot, making you dig the heel of your other foot into his muscled thigh. This elicits a high-pitched whine and you can't help but snicker, though that sound quickly turns to shriek. "No!"

Because he's trapping your knee in the thread of his elbow and his fingers, so long and capable, are clutching your suddenly bare foot in an iron grip. There's mischief written into every line of his DNA, twinkling brightly in the depths of his dark stare. "Say sorry." His fingers brush experimentally against the sensitive sole.

You nearly scream. If it were anyone else, you think you might've been able to break free but it's not and your thrashing only prompts him to cinch his grip tighter, the whole weight of his body pressed into your legs.

"Say sorry," he repeats through a chain link of bared teeth. It would be intimidating if it weren't so goddamn pouty.

When you don't respond, he's repeating the motions. Your lungs feel like they're about to explode. "No! I'm your noona - stop it!"

Another snort, one that goes unpunished, and he puffs a breath out that fans his hair from his face. You both know it's a rotten attempt to get away. "You're older than me by less than two months. Don't pull that." As if to drive his point home, he tickles you again. First, on the sensitive parts of your feet and then everywhere else. His fingers never stay in one place for too long, seeking purchase at the ditch of your knees and then higher, across your hips.

He's all but sprawled across you, your head thrown back as tears spill down your cheeks. It's a very strange sight.

"What are you guys doing?"

The question punctuates the air and you're grateful for the way Jungkook leaps away, the only colour in his face a brilliant scarlet that tinges his ears and creeps across his chest. You use the sudden freedom to draw as many excruciating breaths in as you can but otherwise remain slumped against the cushions. Your entire body feels like overstimulated jelly.

You hear more than see Hoseok above your heads, his amusement infectious. "Soomi-ya, seriously. I think you woke everyone in the house up. I thought someone was dying out here."

"It was his fault!" A feeble attempt at blame falls from your lips, though it's quickly met with a rebuff.

Jungkook is indignant, doe-eyes wide. Bastard. "You started it!"

"You're both terrible." It's not the dancer this time, but Seokjin. He's somehow effortlessly put together at the early hour, RJ cradled under his arm. He stifles a yawn as he joins your little group, taking a seat in the single chair to your right. "Why are you up so early?"

"I was hungry."

You can't help but stare at Jungkook, who meets your eyes with a tiny smile. There he was, protecting you even when you didn't need it.

"There's nothing to eat." Hoseok again, this time from the kitchen.

"We know," the three of you chorus. It prompts all of you to fall into laughter, the sound tinkling like bells in the faded morning light. You're reminded, once again, of how nice it is that the Bangtan boys are home again.

notes. hope you liked this semi-fluff because you're in for a world of pain soon. lolz~

#bts fluff #bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook x oc #work.zip #bestfriends.zip #sugarhigh.doc #jungkook.doc

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dearmrsawyer · 4 years

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@kaspbrakeddie tagged me to do this thank you so much!! This is going to be further evidence of the disaster that takes place when i’m asked to make decisions!!!

Rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, tag some other people

Lost

Supernatural

Fringe

Community

The Flash

i’m really not sure who is invested enough in tv shows to want to do this! i’m going to tag @nightwideopen @gratitudecafe @gloryhalleloujah @candybarrnerd but please please if you love tv please do this. i’d love to know what shows you love and also your answers.

i feel bad about the length of this so i’m going to put it under a cut

who is your favorite character in 2?

(supernatural) mr sam winchester my first and dearest love! lately i’ve been stopping a lot and thinking about the fact that i’ve followed his journey for FIFTEEN YEARS which is more than half my life and that i love his character just as much now as i did back then! and he’s grown and changed and evolved a lot, and my reasons for loving him have grown and changed and evolved as well!

who is your least favorite character in 1?

(lost) oh, i guess of the main characters probably Michael, he/his backstory just wasn’t as interesting as the rest of the survivors, but he DID have tough competition.

what is your favorite episode of 4?

(community) IMPOSSIBLE. gah picking FAVOURITES if my life depends on picking favourites i will surely die. okay i don’t know if this is truly my favourite but whenever i’m asked to pick a standout Community episode i always think of “Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design” with the mysterious night school. just so STUPID. just peak stupidity i love it with my whole heart.

what is your favorite season of 5?

(the flash) ok ok i’m going to go with season 5 aka the season with Nora! oh what a GIFT. making my most beloved characters have to take on the role of father? oh yes give it to me >:) give it to me all the way i’ll take it deep into my heart.

who is your favorite couple in 3?

(fringe) well Peter and Olivia are one of the few couples in the show but they are one of my fav couples in general re: television so i’m happy to go with them! honourable mention for Alt!Livia and Lincoln tho ;__;

who is your favorite couple in 2?

(supernatural) there hasn’t been a single successful romance in 15 years so jkdgdfjklgdjl tbh tho Sam and Eileen have really hit my heart hard, i haven’t been invested in any of the romances that cropped up over 15 years because i knew there was no point! but even if Sam and Eileen aren’t endgame their brief flicker really touched me.

what is your favorite episode of 1?

(lost) finally an easy favourite omg my favourite episode is the FINALE. in all honesty my most special tv experience ever, like the most moving... the most moving and emotional and satisfying and fulfilling thing i’ve ever had the pleasure to watch on screen, just the most beautiful episode! the most! beautiful! episode of television i’ve ever seen! i remember that night so clearly, and how i felt at every moment, and how i felt after. just so beautiful!! and not for everyone i know but really for me! REALLY so special for me!

what is your favorite episode of 5?

(the flash) i love the episode “Welcome to Earth-2″ when Barry and Cisco travel to Earth 2, that episode is so so funny and their run-ins with Barry’s doppelganger omg. its one of the episodes that makes me laugh soo much

what is your favorite season of 2?

(supernatural) well this is difficult since there are FIFTEEN. a season that always stood out for me was season 8! i’m tempted to choose one of the most recent seasons but let’s give a throwback shout out to season 8, which gave us the first real angel storyline and was sooooooooooooo good, and one of the best season finales of the entire series!!! i LOVE the arc of that season. i feel like after Eric Kripke stepped down post-season 5 the show took a couple of years to find its feet, i really enjoyed season 6 and 7 but i could tell they hadn’t quite nailed a big picture plan yet, you know? it felt a bit like living season to season, which is not how supernatural works best since its got such an epic premise. but season 8 really found its big picture feet and i distinctly remember feeling the seeds of it begin to plant, and regaining that feeling from the earlier seasons where we were headed somewhere bigger!

how long have you watched 1?

(lost) it finished in 2010 but i watched from the very first episode to the very last as their aired! it’s been so many years since i’ve watched any of my tv on tv, it feels so foreign to look back and think, that’s how i watched lost for its entire run! i watched it on tv every week with all the ads and the waits and i loved every second of it! i wouldn’t have changed that experience for the world. even before streaming got so big, i couldn’t do that for long after lost because my internet behaviour changed, and it just wasn’t feasible to wait until shows reached Australian tv. i would’ve been spoiled as soon as it aired in the US, before it came here 4 months later. i do genuinely miss that a lot. i liked the ritual of an episode a week at a time outside my choosing, when i knew millions of others were watching it too. i’m so glad that’s how i watched lost. my experience was wonderful because of it.

how did you become interested in 3?

(fringe) i genuinely. don’t remember? i feel like it may have been the fact that it was a JJ Abrams production, and after Lost i was so eager for anything JJ had touched. i started watching it not long before Lost finished so it gave me something to think deeply about in the void Lost left behind lol.

who is your favorite actor in 4?

(community) oh well i think Donald Glover gave some of the best comedic performances in the show, but also the DEAN. what didn’t he give as a performer rofl.

which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

(lost, supernatural, the flash) Lost is my fav show of all time hence why it is #1!

which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?

(lost, fringe) I’ve seen all the episodes of everything on my list!? That is why i’ve picked them! There are more episodes of Lost so i would say Lost!

if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

(community) oh brother let’s not delve too deep here, annie for her wardrobe lol.

would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

(fringe, community) that would be incredible. that would be. but which show’s perspective would the crossover be from? because i think they would deliver different tones! i would sort of like it to be from Fringe’s perspective to see how on earth they’d handle being confronted with the tone of Community.

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?

(lost) i am NOT interested in playing with the author’s will but look, i think pairing just about anyone with Sawyer would have interesting repercussions. mostly because even though he is supposed to be prickly i think (esp with his character growth) he is probably the character most likely to be widely compatible. Sawyer and Sun! Okay! i’m picking Sawyer and Sun.

overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

(fringe, the flash) Fringe had some of what Lost had, which was beautifully intricate storytelling that for me just sits above most television. I really do hold those shows on a pedastool and so of these options i have to pick Fringe, because i would probably pick it over anything except Lost.

which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

(supernatural, community) okay okay since supernatural doesn’t really have theme music are we counting Carry On My Wayward Son as its theme music? Because............. i may have to go with that.

#meme

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daggerzine · 3 years

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Brothertiger - Paradise Lost (Satanic Panic Recordings)

John Jagos may have been one of the stars of chillwave but like the more interesting of the artists out of that realm of what might now be called bedroom pop he has continued evolving his production and songwriting since his 2012 debut album as Brothertiger. Paradise Lost could have been written during 2020 when its themes of rediscovering and reconnecting with one's bliss and living the life you want but Jagos probably went through some of what many creative people were experiencing in the few years leading up to the pandemic event that has deeply impacted the world of music and live performance and events of all kinds and families and jobs and the way the world functions. The lush beats and Jagos' hushed and expressive vocals hit as calming and reassuring even as they articulate a sense of unease and unrest while seeking a place of at least inner calm even when the world around you doesn't conform to your needs. On “Mainsail” Jagos sings “Living in the Empire State, I'm lost sometimes” and then makes references to escaping that context as best as he can for reasons he mentions in a later line: “I long for life.” Perhaps these sentiments aren't strictly autobiographical but they reflect the idea of how when you attain something you always wanted for yourself or something close to that ideal and that maybe you had it okay in another part of your life that felt inferior or limiting. To a one extent or another we've all been there where what we think we want in the moment isn't exactly as romantic as we had assumed.

In a larger context that Jagos may be referencing and experienced firsthand as an artist the fact that much of the cultural infrastructure around music has changed. Certainly artists have a more challenging time getting their music heard and covered with seemingly infinite options. If you're not continually finding ways to be a flavor of the moment and sort of compromising yourself with gimmicks you can be easily forgotten in a way that wasn't quite the case before streaming platforms as they exist now and how alt-weeklies are going the way of the dinosaur and without the robust blogosphere as existed a decade ago that helped launch and establish artists like Jagos and so many others. All of these considerations and the flood of disconcerting news of the past few years it can seem overwhelming for anyone. Jagos with Paradise Lost offers us both a soothing set of songs in hazy, transporting synth melodies and evocatively ethereal yet soulful vocals. But not as pure escapism, rather, as solidarity in navigating a world where all the things that seemed to tenuously give some hope and a path to at least a fairly nurturing and prosperous future are up in the air. “Checking Out” is the temptation, burning it all down in a “Pyre” is an understandable impulse but in the end we have to accept that the world we thought we could count on as flawed as it was is gone and concluding track “Paradise Lost” is an uneasy reminder that maybe things will never be okay in ways we assumed to be true but that the challenge of building a better world is worth it. www.brothertiger.bandcamp.com TOM MURPHY

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williamlwolf89 · 4 years

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How to Make Money Blogging (Free Guide for 2020)

There are lots of guides about how to make money blogging, but here’s what makes this one different:

I’ve taken three different blogs to over $1 million per year. In fact, the blog you’re reading right now has made a total of $6.7 million.

And in this post, I’m going to give you a step-by-step case study showing you exactly how I did it, starting from nothing, along with my step-by-step guide for beginners trying to get started.

Let’s jump in.

7 Ways to Make Money Blogging (with Examples!)

Online Courses and Workshops

Books and Ebooks

Affiliate Marketing

Advertising

Speaking Gigs

Consulting/Coaching

Selling Freelance Services

In a moment, I’m going to show you a general framework you can follow to start a profitable blog from scratch.

But first, let’s jump into the specifics of how to make money blogging, including real-world examples you can study and learn from.

Free Training: The 31 Most PROFITABLE Niches for Bloggers in 2020

Here are the top 7 awesome ways to make good money blogging:

1. Online Courses and Workshops

Here at Smart Blogger, we make most of our income from online courses and workshops — over $1 million per year — but we are far from the only ones. Most of the people making a lot of money from their blogs are doing it through online courses.

Ramit Sethi reportedly crossed $10 million dollars in annual revenue with his suite of premium courses:

And it’s not only business or wealth focused topics that are doing well. You can find successful blogs on just about any topic monetizing with online courses. For instance, the popular interior designer Maria Killam has quite a few courses and workshops in her catalog:

2. Books and Ebooks

Quite a few writers have parlayed their blogging success into a major publishing deal. Mark Manson, for instance, published a post called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck in 2015. Millions of readers later, he got a book deal with Harper Collins and went on to sell over 3,000,000 copies in the US alone.

Self-published books have also been successful. The most notable success story among bloggers is probably James Altucher’s Choose Yourself, which is now sold over 500,000 copies:

3. Affiliate Marketing

If you’d like to create some passive income streams from your blog, one of the best choices is affiliate marketing — recommending the services, digital products, and physical products of other companies in exchange for a commission.

Here at Smart Blogger, we make more than $100,000 per year promoting affiliate products, most of that coming from casually recommending products we love like SiteGround (affiliate link) and Elementor (affiliate link).

But there are lots of other examples too. For instance, For instance, John Lee Dumas of EOFire made $710,835 in affiliate income last year. Digital Photography School has reportedly made over $500,000 in Amazon Associates commissions from promoting photography equipment:

With so many companies offering referral programs to help spread the word about their product or service, the number of different affiliate marketing opportunities is enormous.

4. Advertising

Normally, we’re not big fans of selling ads on your site. You need roughly a million visitors per year for the large ad networks to take you seriously, and affiliate marketing is almost always more profitable and just as passive.

That being said, some niches like recipes, fashion, and news are hard to monetize through many of the other methods mentioned here, and they get LOTS of page views. In that case, putting a few ads on your site can make sense as a supplementary income source.

For example, here’s a screenshot of a 2016 income report from Share the Yummy:

Normally, you make money by joining a network. Nearly anyone can join Google AdSense, for example, and you can later grow into more selective networks like Mediavine and AdThrive.

5. Speaking Gigs

If your blog takes off, and you start being recognized as an authority in your space, you might be surprised by how many invitations you get to speak at conferences. And it’s amazingly profitable. I typically make a minimum of $10,000 per speech and it can go as high as $100,000 when you count product sales resulting from the speech.

Not bad for a 60-90 minute talk. 🙂

6. Consulting/Coaching

While this certainly isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, doing a bit of coaching or consulting over the phone can earn you a surprisingly nice living, even when your audience is small. I don’t do consulting anymore, but the last time I did, I charged $1,000 an hour with a six-month waiting list.

But I’m not the only one. Going back to Maria, again, she’s been quite innovative coming up with ways to do design consultations by photo and email, currently charging $1,275 per room:

You can make this work in almost any space. You just need to know what you’re doing and be confident in the value you are providing to clients.

7. Selling Freelance Services

The next step up from consulting is to actually do it for them.

Typically, you’ll make more money freelancing than with anything else, but it’s also the most draining and time intensive. That being said, I’ve seen bloggers make six-figure incomes with no more than a few thousand readers on their blog, essentially using their blog as a lead mechanism to get clients.

It’s so profitable, even if successful bloggers continue to do it. For example, Elna Cain continues to sell her freelance writing services:

If you’re a freelance writer, designer, photographer, programmer, or other service provider where your skills can be sold digitally instead of you having to be there in person, you might want to consider it from day one. All you really need to get started is a contact form for clients to reach out to you.

Okay, now for the fun part. Let me show you the framework I used to become an honest-to-goodness millionaire…

Go to top

How to Make Money Blogging (Step-By-Step Framework for Beginners)

Choose the Right Blogging Niche (a Profitable One)

Improve Your Content Skills

Choose a Traffic Source (Google Search or Facebook)

Grow Your Email List with Pop Ups

Begin Monetizing with Affiliate Programs

Develop a Unique Mechanism

Launch the Minimum Viable Funnel

If you’re starting from scratch with no traffic or influential friends, it’s easy to wonder…

Is it reasonable for you to believe you can make money blogging?

For that matter, how do blogs even make money? Ads? Sponsored posts? Sell products? God luck? Or something else?

Well, let’s take a look at exactly how I did it at Smart Blogger. Here’s my complete step-by-step process for how to make money blogging:

1. Choose the Right Blogging Niche (a Profitable One)

Let’s start with a little brutal truth, shall we?

Passion does not equal profit.

Neither does expertise.

Hard work doesn’t guarantee anything either.

For example:

You can be the world’s foremost expert on square-shaped tomatoes, wake up every morning with a burning passion to educate the public on their vast superiority to normal-shaped tomatoes, and work until your fingers bleed and your eyes fall out of your head, following all the right tactics for turning your new blog into a popular one, and…

You’ll never have a chance in hell at making any amount of money.

Here’s why:

Nobody but you gives a damn about square tomatoes

Even if they did care, they wouldn’t spend any money

In other words, you need a large audience who buys things. Without that, nothing else matters. It’s a prerequisite for everything else.

In the case of Smart Blogger, I noticed early on that bloggers buy lots of different things:

In fact, there are companies with $10 million+ per year of revenue in most of those categories. It’s also a growing space with millions of people:

The only problem?

Loads of competition. Whether it be my previous employers Brian Clark or Neil Patel, my good friends over at Problogger, or the gazillion other “blogging about blogging” peeps infesting the social media space, everyone was intent on snagging a piece of the pie. They also had a several year head start on me.

So, how did I compete? The honest answer:

2. Improve Your Content Skills

Embed This Infographic On Your Site

<!—– Copy and Paste This Code Into Your Post —-><a href=”https://smartblogger.com/make-money-blogging/”><img src=”https://smartblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/the-best-content-is-king-v2.png” alt=”How to Make Money Blogging: The $6.7 Million Case Study” width=”700 px” class=”noa3lazy”/></a><br><a href=”https://smartblogger.com/make-money-blogging”>How to Make Money Blogging: The $6.7 Million Case Study from SmartBlogger.com</a>

You’ve probably heard that “Content is king,” and it’s true… to an extent. A more accurate statement would be…

The Best Content Is King

If that’s hard to understand, think about it this way:

Lots of bloggers sit down and think, “What will I write today?” They jot down some thoughts, doing their best to be helpful, original, and entertaining. If they’re disciplined, they might even stick with it for a few months.

But it almost never works. Here are a few reasons why:

What you want to say isn’t what other people want to read

You weren’t using a proven content framework

It’s not the best post ever published on the topic

Granted, it’s not your fault. Until today, chances are no one ever told you about any of those requirements. You thought you just had to write interesting stuff and publish it.

No, grasshopper. No.

The truth is, having good ideas and powerful words isn’t enough. You have to create the best content ever published on blog topics lots of people are interested in learning more about. And that brings us to the three levels of content creation:

You know what blog content is popular in your niche, and you write exclusively about those topics

You’ve mastered frameworks proven to make your content more popular (list post, how to post, etc.)

Your content delivers more value to the reader than any other post published on that topic

You’re probably thinking, “Geez. That sounds hard.” And you’re right, it is.

I personally spent about three years honing my skills by writing for other sites before I started my own blog. It doesn’t have to take that long — I’m just a perfectionist, so I wanted to learn from the best people in my space.

It worked, though. Nowadays, my posts get millions and millions of visitors, not because I know some special “secret,” but because I’m really good at what I do.

Blogging is really no different than anything else. The more of a bad ass you are, the easier it is for you to make money online.

So you want to know how to make money blogging?

Become a badass writer.

Then the next step is to…

3. Choose a Traffic Source (Google Search or Facebook)

When you’re a newbie, getting traffic is confusing.

Should you focus on optimizing your keywords? Growing your Facebook page? Leaving comments on blogs? Answering questions on Quora? Being active in Facebook groups? Creating videos for your YouTube channel? Starting a popular podcast?

And so on.

There are a gazillion traffic tactics out there. Everybody says theirs is the best.

But here’s the data:

Source: Business Insider

Pretty much all the traffic for written content comes from either Google or Facebook. The rest of traffic sources combined don’t even come close to competing with those two Goliaths.

So, how do you get them to send you a bunch of traffic?

One option is you can pay for it. They like that.

But chances are, you’re reading about how to make money blogging because you don’t want to pay for traffic. You want it for free, right?

Well, imagine this:

There’s an arena where all the bloggers in your space go to compete for traffic. The number of other challengers you defeat determines the amount of traffic you receive.

In other words, getting traffic is a sport.

There are winners, and there are losers

To be good, you have to train

You need to study your opponents

There are actually two sports, and I’d bet you’ve heard of both of them: search engine optimization (SEO) and going viral on Facebook. Both take years (yes, I said years) of study to master, but you can start getting pretty decent traffic after just a few months of study and practice.

Which one should you focus on?

Well, here are two questions to guide you:

Is your topic something your friends and family regularly talk about on Facebook? Examples: pets, parenting, self-improvement, and health. If so, focus on playing the viral traffic sport.

Is your topic something people actively search for information about on Google? Examples: product reviews, specific questions they would ask an expert, how-to information. If so, focus on SEO.

For most topics, you can do both, but one or the other will be dominant. In that case, focus on whichever one is dominant.

In the blogging space, for example, stuff about writing and grammar occasionally goes viral on Facebook, because we love criticizing our relatives about their terrible English. On the other hand, you rarely talk with your family about blogging platforms, WordPress plugins, affiliate marketing, digital marketing, keyword research, or any other blogging topics.

You will, however, search for them on Google. Just as you would guess then, the blogging niche is heavily dominated by search. Here’s a breakdown of Smart Blogger’s traffic by source:

The truth is, we pretty much ignore Facebook. The volume of traffic available there comes nowhere close to the volume of traffic available from Google. So, we focus on Google.

I also spend WAY more time keeping up to date on SEO stuff than I do on social stuff. I’m a geek about it. Throw me in a room full of Google engineers, and I’d probably know more than half of them.

Not to imply I’m the best, though. I’m also competing against people like Darren Rowse, Amy Lynn Andrews, and Neil Patel. They’re pretty freaking good too.

In time, I think I can be better, but who knows? That’s why sports are fun. You never know who is going to win.

If you’re good though, you’ll always be in the “playoffs,” for your space, and you’ll get lots of traffic. Maybe not the most, but still plenty.

And then you can focus on how to…

4. Grow Your Email List with Pop Ups

Chances are, you see pop ups as an annoyance.

They get in the way when you’re trying to read. They ask you to hand over sensitive information like your name, email address, and phone number. Sometimes you have to deal with multiple pop ups on the same site, and it makes you feel hassled and uncared for.

And all that sucks. In my opinion, you have every right to be annoyed.

But here’s the thing…

That’s where the money comes from. The best predictor of the revenue for a blog is the size of their email list. Here’s a breakdown of our revenue at Smart Blogger comparing revenue device from email to other sources.

The rule of thumb is you can expect to make $1 per subscriber per month. So, if you have 10,000 email subscribers, you should be able to make about $10,000 per month.

So obviously, growing your email list is a top priority. You might, however, feel conflicted about using pop ups. What are you supposed to do?

Here’s a different way of looking at it:

If a visitor comes to your site and doesn’t give you their email address, the chances of them returning are nearly zero. You’ll never have another opportunity to help them.

If you believe your content is the best, and you believe you can help them over time, I believe you owe it to them to be as pushy as possible about staying in contact. In other words, not using a pop up is unethical. A little annoyance is a small price to pay for change.

And remember, that doesn’t mean you have to be extremely pushy or spammy. You can absolutely use pop ups in authentic ways.

But you absolutely must use them. Assuming you want to make money, anyway.

5. Begin Monetizing with Affiliate Programs

So, you’re operating in a profitable niche, and you have traffic and an email list. What next?

Lots of new bloggers jump into creating a course or book or community of some sort, but that’s a mistake, in my opinion. Before you start selling things, you need concrete evidence those things are what people want to buy. Otherwise, you’re risking wasting months or even years of your life trying to push a product no one wants.

The simplest way to obtain that evidence:

Affiliate programs.

By seeing what your audience buys from other people, you can get a much better sense of what they might want to buy from you. If you promote a product and it converts well, you should think about creating a similar product. If it doesn’t convert well, you should probably move on.

In other words, affiliate programs offer are a form of market research. As a bonus, you just so happen to get paid commissions on the products your customers buy in the process. So not only are you learning what your target audience wants to buy, but you’re making money from your blog at the same time. Pretty sweet deal.

At Smart Blogger, I’ve tried lots of different offers. WordPress blog hosting, landing page tools, email marketing software, Amazon affiliate content links, WordPress themes, and half a dozen different types of high-quality courses. Since we sell courses, I pay the most attention to the results from those programs, and here are a couple of lessons:

End to end solutions sell best. Courses promising to take someone from knowing nothing to making money far outperformed the others. For instance, here’s a screenshot showing us as the #1 affiliate for Danny Iny’s Course Builder’s Laboratory:

Tools with a clear connection to money making also sell better than the others. For instance, landing page builders. As proof, here’s a screenshot of our earnings from promoting LeadPages:

By themselves, neither of those promotions really moved the needle on our revenue, but they did teach us useful lessons that went into creating Freedom Machine, which brings us to…

6. Develop a Unique Mechanism

Before you think about launching your own products or services, there’s one essential point about human nature you need to understand:

Whenever anyone purchases anything, they expect to transition from where they are now (Point A) to where they want to be (Point B). For example…

When you buy pizza, you want to transition from being hungry and craving pizza (Point A) to tasting delicious pizza and feeling full (Point B).

When you hire a plumber, you want to transition from having a clogged, overflowing toilet (Point A) to having a normally functioning toilet (Point B).

When you buy a course on SEO, you want to transition from feeling bewildered and getting ignored by Google (Point A) to ranking for competitive terms and getting great blog traffic.

The success of a product ultimately depends on helping customers make those transitions. If the customer doesn’t get to Point B, they typically view the experience as a failure.

So, here’s the magic question:

What makes you better equipped to deliver that transition than your competitors?

The answer to that question is what content marketing expert Todd Brown calls your “unique mechanism.” It’s a little different from a “unique selling proposition,” because it’s not just something about you that’s different. It’s something about you or your method that makes you better able to help customers than anyone else.

For Freedom Machine, we have multiple unique mechanisms:

Get published on Medium — a platform with more than 60 million active readers looking for great content

You don’t have to struggle with setting up your blog. We do it for you.

A research concierge who will do your research for you instead of having to pay for expensive tools

Content frameworks developed behind the scenes at Smart Blogger to produce popular, valuable content

A monetization methodology proven by our success with Smart Blogger

Advice on how to automate everything, so you eventually get more freedom

Weekly calls with me where I will help you set up your Freedom Machine

Combined, those unique mechanisms are EXTREMELY convincing at setting us up as the superior solution. Therefore, the product sells like hot cakes.

To be clear… it’s not necessary to have 7 different unique mechanisms. Sometimes just one is all you need (i.e. fresh, hot pizza in 30 minutes or less). The core idea though is to make sure you are obviously far more capable than your competitors at delivering results.

Then all you have to do is…

7. Launch the Minimum Viable Funnel

Look around at successful entrepreneurs of any type, and you’ll find a surprising trend:

They tend to sell their products before the product is created.

To most people, this sounds like insanity at best or a disturbing lack of ethics at worst. How could you possibly ask people to buy something that doesn’t exist?

The answer:

It’s the same principle as Kickstarter.

You create a fancy minimal sales funnel of some sort (in this case, just a simple sales page), tell people the product is coming soon, and then wait to see if enough people sign up to justify making the product. If they don’t, you refund everyone’s money and start over.

In other words, it’s the final step in validating you have a viable product. The steps go like this:

Identify demand by promoting affiliate products

Find a unique mechanism that makes you clearly superior

Test the demand for that unique mechanism with a quick and dirty launch before you create the product

In my case, the minimum viable funnel was a 90-minute webinar. The first time I did it, there was no product, no follow-up sequence, nothing. It was just a bare-bones test.

And it resulted in $126,000 in sales live on the webinar.

Seeing that $30,000 sales was my minimum for success, we went ahead and created the first version of the product live with students. About a year later, it’s now approaching $1 million in sales.

That’s also just one product. We have others, and we have still more in the research pipeline.

And guess what I would do if I had to start over again?

The exact same thing. It’s not easy, it’s not fast, it’s not even that sexy, but it works.

Let’s close with some questions and answers, shall we?

Go to top

FAQ about How to Make Money Blogging

So, we’ve covered the basic process. Now let’s step back for a moment and answer some of the questions I hear the most often:

Do bloggers make money?

I certainly do, but I don’t think that’s what you’re asking. I think you’re asking…

“Is it reasonable for me to learn how to make money blogging?”

The no BS answer:

It depends on how patient and persistent you are.

Starting a blog from scratch is just as difficult as starting a small business. For example, it requires the same time and effort as starting your own restaurant, software company, or accounting service. Yes, those businesses are wildly different, but the first few years are usually the same story: low income, lots of stress, big learning curve.

If you want a more concrete answer than that, we’ve found it takes even our smartest, most dedicated students 3-6 years to make enough money from blogging to quit their jobs. And that sounds like a long time, but so what? 3-6 years to be able to work from anywhere in the world, take a vacation whenever you want, and probably have passive income until the day you die?

Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

How much money can you make from blogging?

The fact is, most bloggers make as much money as any other type of entrepreneur:

Nothing.

And it’s not because there’s no money in it. This blog makes more than $1 million per year, for God sakes, and it’s nowhere close to the most profitable blog out there. Blogs like The Penny Hoarder, Moz, and Lifehacker power businesses worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

So why aren’t more bloggers rich?

The truth is, most people quit. They start a blog, write a post or two, realize it’s hard work, and walk away.

But if you’re patient and persistent?

You can make millions. I have. So have lots of other smart, dedicated entrepreneurs.

You just have to do the work. Consistently. For years.

Can you do that?

Then yeah, I think you can make six figures at least. Maybe more.

How do you make money blogging? (Or, How do bloggers make money?)

As I mentioned earlier, there 7 popular ways to make money blogging:

Offering online course and workshops

Writing books and eBooks

Affiliate marketing (recommending products and services in exchange for a commission)

Blog ads

Speaking at conferences

Offering your expertise as a consultant or coach

Selling freelance services such as writing, designing, and programming

Which is best for you will depend your blog, your expertise, and your situation.

How do you start your own blog for free?

Lots of people say you can’t. They tell you to buy a domain name, a web hosting account (Bluehost is one you see pushed a lot by influencers), and a premium WordPress theme.

But I think that’s nonsense.

You can get started for free within five minutes on Medium. They also have over 60 million monthly readers, so you can get a lot of exposure there if you get featured.

This great article walks you through that strategy, step-by-step.

Alternatively, you can write on WordPress.com, Linkedin, or any of the other platforms out there. It doesn’t really matter. The point is, start writing and learning as soon as possible.

Once people start sharing your great, informative posts, and you begin to understand how everything works, then you can go through the trouble of setting up your own site, installing WordPress, and all that jazz. Until then though, it’s just a headache you don’t need.

What are the most popular blogging platforms?

WordPress is by far the most popular. No one else is even close.

But that doesn’t mean it’s the best for everyone. There are several blogging platforms you can try — and most of them are free.

As I mentioned earlier, I think Medium is a good place to start. You can also create your own blog with tools like Blogger, Squarespace, Wix, Joomla, and countless others.

What are the top blogs about how to make money blogging?

I’d like to think Smart Blogger is the best (and most comprehensive) site on the topic, but it’s by no means the only one. Not all of these talk about how to make money blogging, but together, they give you a solid foundation:

Backlinko — Brian Dean doesn’t talk much about how to make money blogging, but he’s one of the top experts and educators in the world on SEO. What I love about his highly-valuable content is how easy to understand it is, despite covering some incredibly complex topics. If you’re a beginner blogger looking for DIY insights, prepare for a treat.

Digital Marketer: — In my opinion, my friends over at Digital Marketer are the best in the world at monetizing traffic. If you’d like to learn about marketing, list building, customer research, automation, or funnels, there’s no better source.

Smart Passive Income — If you’re interested in using your blog to build passive income, Pat Flynn is a master at showing you how to build a tiny little business that can support you and the lifestyle you want. Both his blog and podcast are excellent.

Go to top

The Bottom Line about How to Make Money Blogging

Is it possible?

Absolutely, but only if you treat it like a blogging business.

Yes, you can start your blog as a side project. Yes, you can slowly grow it in the background. Yes, you can turn your blog into a source of passive, full-time income that eventually lets you quit your job, travel, spend a lot of time with your family, whatever you want to do.

But like anything worthwhile, it’s hard work getting there.

You have to study. Practice. Master your craft. Put in a lot of work. Hustle.

If you love writing, I can’t imagine a better business, though. Not only is blogging a great way to get your writing noticed, but it’s a great way to connect with people around the world who need you, teach them what you know, and get paid pretty damn well in exchange.

There’s never a day I regret dedicating myself to blogging. Never.

It’s not just because of the money, either. It’s because I also get to do what I love and help people at the same time.

What could be better than that?

The post How to Make Money Blogging (Free Guide for 2020) appeared first on Smart Blogger.

from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/make-money-blogging/

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83gigsof90semocore-blog · 5 years

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Post 4: The letter C

Welcome back! It sure wasn't yesterday, how have you been? I'm fine thanks, been a little busy myself and had to put this project on the backburner as you can probably tell. I alluded to being really busy in the last post and that's been pretty much true for all of the past year. Luckily, things are looking a bit better up ahead so I might actually start posting regularly soon!

Much has happened outside of the blog too. I toyed with the idea of moving this beuat over to blogspot (where all the real emo blogs are anyway) when it looked like tumblr was self-destructing for a hot minute. But in the end cooler heads prevailed and it looks like tumblr is just gonna keep existing albeit with less popularity. In the emo world, 125, Rue Montmartre, the first band I covered about a year ago are releasing their discography on vinyl and are now on spotify. All thanks to my blog, I'm sure. Don't be fooled by my modest follower count

I actually have quite a few prestigious readers. Most notably perhaps being Prof. Anders Ahlén, a man important enough to have his own wikipedia page.

C has been the longest letter so far by far clocking in at a mighty 6.56 GB as opposed to the average of 2.8. I've been listening to it in phases with sometimes a month or more in between so it hasn't really been a coherent experience. It has been a real slog though, which is part of why I gave up several times. This has also been a letter with a great number of "famous" emo bands. Because part of the purpose of this listening experience is to experience 90's emo "as it was" rather than colored by nostalgia or what is deemed worthy of attention by the internet discourse I'm disqualifying bands that are prominent in the emo canon from best name, song or image. I will however still do a quick write up on them for those of you not as familiar with emo, chances are I'll reference them in the future so do take notes.

Emo classics

Cap'n Jazz

It's almost impossible to tell the story of 90's emo without Cap'n Jazz. Among their members they have Tim Kinsella, who would later go on to play in Joan of Arc and Owls, his brother Mike Kinsella who would later play in American Football as well as Owls, Their/They're/There and Owen and also Davey von Bohlen who would later play in the Promise ring. When they formed in '89 they where just a bunch teenagers, Mike being just 12. They released their first album 6 years later which goes by the title Burritos, Inspiration Point, Fork Balloon Sports, Cards in the Spokes, Automatic Biographies, Kites, Kung Fu, Trophies, Banana Peels We’ve Slipped on, and Egg Shells We’ve Tippy Toed Over, but is simply referred to as Schmap'n Schmazz by fans. Most of the lyrics where supposedly written by Tim one night while high on mushrooms. They have a wonderful surreal dadaist quality to them with lines such as Hey coffee eyes, you've got me coughing up my cookie heart or You are colder than oldness could ever be. The music is chaotic and full of a warm messy energy. I am personally absolutely enamored with their cover of Aha's Take on me which I insist on putting in as many playlists where it makes some sense whatsoever. As you can hear, Tims vocals do absolutely not Morten Harkets heights (not an easy feat in Tims defense) and you can plainly hear a teenagers voice falseto-cracking and it's absolutely amazing somehow.

Cap'n Jazz really hit the spot of this awkward sensitive yet punk energy that from the start was very central to emo. Although Cap'n Jazz are a big helping sillier and more pubertal than, say, Rites of Spring.

One popular quip about the Velvet underground is the following:

The Velvet Underground didn't sell many records, but everyone who bought one went out and started a band.

I suppose Cap'n Jazz is a bit like that for emo although their presence was perhaps felt as strongest around 2010 with bands such as Snowing, Glocca Morra and in particular Algernon Cadwallader aping their style.

youtube

Christie Front Drive

I think part of the reason for Cap'n Jazz's status as a cornerstone band stems from their originality. Christine Front Drive is in contrast a very prototypical 90's emo band. They have a sound that borrows heavily from both post-hardcore and indie-rock with the slightly whiny vocals typical for the genre and era. On their song November they sing Still the same // Fucked for what you've done // Still over // Staged over // November's almost done // Still the same which I think is a nice cross section of their lyrics (most of the rest of the song are just variations on the same words with "remember" also thrown into the mix). The overall sound is slow, moody and a bit dreamy, very typical of their brand of emo. As easy as it is to find bands that sound similar to CFD, I dare say that they did it better than most and that this is what has earned them their spot in the emo cannon.

youtube

Cursive

Cursive formed in 1995 and has since been together on and off up to the present day, the drive only has music up to 2005 though. This includes their 2003 release the Ugly Organ which was released by Saddle Creek and is the only one I've heard before starting this project. By that point they had already moved away from their emo roots though, and I'm glad to finally have gotten around to their earlier stuff. The Ugly Organ is artsy, catchy and a bit baroque, but also definitely on the outskirts of emo to the point where I'd perhaps describe it as an indie/alternative album if I wasn't talking about them in the context of emo. This doesn't mean that it isn't worth a listen because it absolutely is. Their early stuff is more typical of what the rest of the drive is like with a sound more in the ballpark of CFD but much more punk, with a higher tempo and angrier vocals while still maintaining a somewhat whiny voice, introspective lyrical content and the cold, big guitar sound typical to this branch of emo.

youtube

My favorite band

Car vs Driver

youtube

So far I've generally picked bands that stand out a bit because in a long stream of relative sameness, that's what you end up paying attention to. Car vs Driver is however not one of theses bands that stand out but rather pretty typical of the emocore sound. They do it pretty well though. They are undeniably punk, but with more introspective lyrics and a slightly melodic edge, which is exactly how emo was first conceived. One some of their tracks like the featured Without A Day day even flirt a bit more with an alt-rock sound but they also have songs that are a lot more hardcore like Livid Step.

When researching them I half expected them to be a pretty substantial band that I had somehow managed to miss, but they're actually very unheard of, something which I consider to be a shame.

I did however find that the drummer of the band has a blogspot at beyondfaliure.blogstopt.com where he catalogs various bands he's been a part of. There is a collection of Car vs Driver flyers as well as two live recordings and this summary he wrote for their discography

Car vs. Driver began when I was 17 years old. By the time we played our final show, I was 19. This band was the music of my life during a period when people usually experience the greatest amount of freedom, which is what I think of whenever I listen to this music now. There were so many new experiences: living on our own, meeting new people, getting a new perspective on life. Our lifestyle in turn gave us a new perspective on expressing music, and we poured all of our energy and emotion into it. Music that now seems a world away – music from a different life. It’s hard to remember that everything about being in a band at that time was simply making a 7”, buying the cheapest van you could find, and touring the country for the summer. There was no infrastructure to build your music around, which also removed its barriers. Instead of running our band like a corporation, we played peoples living rooms and basements, engaged in kickball tournaments, made record covers out of manila envelopes, slept on top of our van, cooked pasta, and played with some of the most amazing bands in the process. Bands that epitomized the time – like Spirit Assembly, Policy of 3, Friction, Current, The Yah Mos, Assfactor 4, Frail, Hoover, Freemasonry, Scout, and Inkwell. The experience we had is something that could never be recreated, and I consider myself incredibly lucky to have been a part of that moment in time. Thank you Matt, Steve, and Jonathan for bringing this to me.

James Joyce August 2004

This compilation is dedicated to our faithful roadies Ashley Lawrence Moore and William Anthony Nation.

We froze, sweat, bled, argued, and laughed.

Amazing stuff in all, I can highly recommend clicking around their for a while if you, like me are a bit obsessed with the 90's emo scene.

My favorite band name

Christopher Robin

Christopher Robin is a screamo band that go pretty hard. The name is a funny contrast to this and the juxtaposition between childhood nostalgia and angsty screaming works really well.

youtube

My favorite picture

Featured is the cover to a demo tape by french screamo band Cather Mathra, which features songs such as Ils M'ont Oubliés (they forgot me) or Leur Révolution (their revolution). You can read more about them on psychoviolence, a blog dedicated to French punk & violence. I think that using a medieval (?) drawing for a cover is pretty cool, especially if you're a french screamo band.

Curiosly they don’t have any music on youtube, you’ll have to check out the drive if you want to listen to them. Tumblr has a limit of 5 embedded videos anyway, so that worked out nicely I suppose.

#emo #emocore #cap'n jazz #cursive #christie front drive #car vs driver #christopher robin #cather mathra

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iwantasecretgarden · 7 years

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Taggetytagtag

DoBrought up by the freaking awesome and strong @nachodiablo

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

1. Coke or Pepsi: Diet Coke in a glass of ice or a can or a bottle or a fountain or anywhere, always. “Is Pepsi okay?” is probably the worst sentence in all of human history.

2. Disney or Dreamworks: Disney Renaissance (90s kid)

3. Coffee or tea: Coffee. I want to like tea, but it’s leaf water. And drinking it tastes like hot leaves. I try and I try and yet still...clogged pool filter in a cup.

4. Books or movies: Books. Books, I’ve never seen so many books in all my life. Best weapons in the world. But seriously in 2016 I read 42 books - didn’t quite get to my 52 I had hoped for as my upper goal, but far surpassed the 25 I had planned.

5. Windows or mac: Mac since birth. Born with my dad getting me a tiny apple jumper as he used the old timey rainbows apple with the startup OS face.

6. DC or Marvel: Marvel characters are deeper and more interesting, especially because I WANT to like Wonder Woman but every single writer just changes her backstory and nothing is consistent and I hate that. X-Men are my favorite because it’s embracing difference in an exclusive, bigoted world.

7. X-box or Playstation: I wasn’t allowed to play video games because my parents thought they would make me violent so now I’m WOEFULLY AWFUL at them. But does Wii Lego games count? Because I really like Wii Lego Harry Potter. I know. I know. But it’s actually adorable. I also play Wii Lego LOTR and Batman and Star Wars (but SW one sucks).

8. Dragon age or Mass effect: Er...what.

9. Night owl or early riser: I do better working at night because I like to have an hour or so to wake up. So if I leave at 9 I get up at 6:30 so I can drink coffee and blink awake and watch a tv show before doing chores and getting ready.

10. Cards or chess: Cards - more for the memories that accompany them and because I’m hellishly impatient for Chess.

11. Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla not because I’m vanilla but because chocolate can either be overwhelming or when in ice cream doesn’t taste like chocolate? Like why? It tastes like mystery brown flavor and I’m not into that.

12. Vans or converse: Converse for life. Black. With doodles on the white parts. Quotes and drawings. Being a cool kid way past the age I could pull it off (since I never could). I also have a blue pair that I drew the TARDIS on during the DW fanvolution but now don’t wear because they don’t match.

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: I feel dumb. I don’t know what these are.

14. Fluff or angst: Angsty fluff. Like when the angst drenches your soul and in the darkest moment someone says the right thing that no one in real life has ever said to you and it’s like a sweet sweet salve.

15. Beach or forest: Forest. I hate sand. I’m stupid annakin. And deep in my heart of hearts I’m still the wolf girl I was at 13 where I wore braces and boys jeans and tie dyed wolf t-shirts and braids in my hair with a bunch of friendship bracelets and wanted to be a psychic dragon rider or be raised by sentient wolves. So in the end...it’d be untrue to my nature (and to my secret shame wolf patronus) to not say forest where I used to dream of running away and finding my true pack.

16. Dogs or cats: I have two greyhounds (Fred & George), and a cat - Gandalf. That way I can introduce the bunch as Gandalf (and) the Greyhounds. Yeah. I’m serious. PM me for picture proof or check out insta @greyhoundgeorge

17. Clear skies or rain: Rain when I have nowhere to BE. If I can stay home and eat hot popcorn and drink cold water and snuggle on a couch under the blankets and put on an old movie or quiet film scores and pick up a book I want to read all in one go. That’s a little corner of heaven right there. But clear skies if I am going out to do something - if I’m doing something stressful and knowing I can go outside after to let the sun drench into the skin of my face and smile and take a breath and get a cold diet coke and congratulate myself on being brave and finishing out.

18. Cooking or eating out: Depends. Depends on how lazy I am and how broke I am and how hungry I am. I like cooking when I’m really hungry because then I can personalize everything to my own tastes and having leftovers I know will be yummy later. When I eat out/order take out I’m eating it all. Don’t be foolish.

19. Spicy food or mild food: Spicy food. Make my nose rain. I once drank a bowl of salsa in a Mexican restaurant. Like in Beauty & the Beast. Bowl to my mouth. Drank it down. My sisters hissed at me to stop. It was so good. So I drank theirs too.

20. Halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Solstice, Yule, ***Christmas*** I am so into Christmas. I’m the dumbass that starts listening to carols too early in November. I’m wearing sweaters and sweating. I’m getting my peppermint hot chocolate. I’m the one viciously stalking that Christmas feeling that seems to get farther and farther away the older you get. Because I want it to last forever. I want to make sure my little sisters never lose it.

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Too cold. I’m already hot all the time. It’s hell. And I sweat through my clothes and that’s embarrassing and uncomfortable. At least when I’m cold people feel pity for you. When you’re hot all the time everyone looks at you like a freak.

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: Hallucination/Projection. I’d be called “Storyteller” or “Story” and if I wanted you to think you were on a beach in Aruba, you would really see and feel it. I would be able to travel for free, protect myself through a veneer, and never have to harm anyone. And I could taste all food however I wanted even if it was just celery. I could look how I want to look, dress how I want to dress, make my world the reality I want.

23. Animation or live action: Live action. I think the nuances of character actors and their expressions bring something to a film that evokes a sympathetic response in the brain that cannot (currently) be copied in animation.

24. Paragon or renegade: Again. I’m a silly person who has no idea what this is.

25. Baths or showers: SHOWERS. Hot showers. Baths - like tea - are just stewing in dirt. In your own dirt. In a tub where you get to look at your knees and rest your wet head against the hard tile. Ew.

26. Team cap or team ironman: Captain America forever. Stucky and Steggy forever.

27. Fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy at my heart of hearts. It appeals to my wolfgirl nature. But I’m an equal opportunist and love Sci Fi. Just watch out for those weird 1950s fantasy/sci fi crossovers about colonizing planets cuz those get WEIRD.

28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they:

"Do small things with great love.” - Mother Teresa

“Courage, dearheart.” - C.S. Lewis

“Don’t worry. Don’t worry. Look up at the ceiling and breathe with those curiously fragile lungs and remind yourself don’t worry. All as it was meant to be. It was meant to be lonely, and terrifying, and unfair, and fleeting. Don’t worry.” - Welcome to Nightvale

29. Youtube or netflix: Netflix or Amazon Video yo

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Yeahhhh see I was too old when PJ came out. My youngest sister was reading it and even she thought it was under her age level. So HARRY POTTER FOREVER FOOLS. I mean, I cannot stress how much our family loves HP. We had a year when my youngest sister turned 11 she had a welcome to Hogwarts party in March, my family surprised me with a Horcrux Hunt 17th birthday Coming of Age in April, and my other sister turned 14 and got a Triwizard Cup party in May. My Mom listens to HP on Audible every night before bed. She can literally quote the first book word for word. We went to HP Wizarding World in FL before it opened on special passes when I was 19. If my mother wouldn’t murder us, our entire family would have matching HP tattoos. I write Marauders book fanfiction for my entire family to read and critique. We have sorted ourselves and own everything in our respective houses (a split R/G family). It’s our dream to go to Leaky Con together. We all have complete uniforms. Not just the robes. All of it. We know all the spells, have played all the dumb computer 2001 games and Wii games and Pottermore before it was lame and basically omg. HP FOR LIFE. (or LOTR).

31. When you feel accomplished: When someone acknowledges I saw the problem and solution immediately but everyone else tried a bunch of things first and eventually realized I was right. #INTJ

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: I am very into both, and both my sisters have hard core taken a position on each camp. But if I had to choose, I would say Star Trek because of the massive cultural shift it caused, especially in featuring multi-racial characters and women in positions of science and power.

33. Paperback books or hardback books: Paperback if I’m reading it the first time and Idk if i’ll like it but then I want hardback (leatherbound tbh) of everything I’ve ever loved and read for my library I want to own like in B&B.

34. Horror or rom-com: Ughhhhhhhh both suck. But I only like cerebral horror (like Sixth Sense) or intellectual horror (like Hannibal) because physical horror (torture), gross horror (teeth losing and pus), jump horror (basic) really aren’t interesting to me so I GUESS I’ll say rom-com.

35. TV shows or movies: TV shows streaming so I can binge them. Yep.

36. Favorite animal: Tigers! I’m so into tigers and know so much about them. The ONLY tiger fact I’ll bore you with right now is that lion roars are much shallower due to being lighter weight with less lung capacity so for the Lion King whenever the lions roar, it’s actually tiger roars to sound more macho.

37. Favorite genre of music: Alt rock or indie - coldplay, mumford, snow patrol, frank turner, damien rice, the wonder years, etc.

38. Least favorite book: I know people are really into it now, but when I read it A Separate Peace sucked balls and everyone agreed. Also I once read this terribly written horror book Neverwhere. Actually I’ve read several such poorly written books that it honestly gives me hope that I can be an author if these dingbats can.

39. Favourite season: Winter before Christmas

40. Song that’s currently stuck in your head: Help by the Beatles

41. What kind of pyjama’s do you wear: Old t shirt (usually huge) and pj pants or shorts

42. How many existential crisis do you have on an average day: Lol so many. Depends on the day. More like “my life is confusing and I have no idea what’s happening and everything is a chain reaction that hasn’t begun and I’m holding my breath praying for a fallout that’s marginally okay.”

43. If you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be: “Penny Lane,” by the Beatles

44. Favourite theme song to a TV show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer or (honestly) Magic School Bus or Jimmy Neutron

45. Harry Potter movies or books: Books, where the inaccuracies aren’t too many to count

46. Favorite traditional food from your family: Tamales

47. Favorite decade from 1900-now: 1990s. But only 90s kids remember the 90s.

48. Worst habit? Thinking I can do it all.

49. Teach an old person to use the internet or stay for a week with a kid stuck in the “why” phase?: Kids. I love kids. Why phases are great. Sometimes I never outgrew mine, and adults always brush them off without actually taking time to explain why satisfactorily. 50. Who’s your favorite painter?: Claude Monet.

51. Favourite flower?: Roses (trite) or bluebonnets.

52. Boots or sneakers?: Sneakers now - boots in fall.

53. Abroad or at home?: Home if I could magically go back in time when “home” was everything I wanted and not a place to visit my mom in my old room with no clothes or friends.

54. Planning or spontaneity? Planning! But occasional spontaneity.

55. Boxers or briefs? Boxers so that I can wear them as pajama shorts.

56. Hogwarts house? Better be...Gryffindor!

I’m not tagging 56 people, so if you’d like to do this, tag me so I can read them! If you don’t want to, then just enjoy learning more about me. If it’s more than you wanted to know (and it probably is) feel free to ignore.

#about me

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tonguetiedmag · 5 years

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concert: the driver era

If the sold out status of Globe Hall’s show last Monday night wasn’t already enough to fill the room, the unbelievable flair performers Rocky and Ross Lynch brought to stage certainly would’ve been. Together, the brothers operate as alt-duo known as The Driver Era. Selling out this show on their headline run weeks in advance, thrilled fans packed in and shared cheerful chatter that was refreshing and entertaining to listen to, Everyone was beyond stoked to be there, and I’m convinced many of them wouldn’t have let anything keep them from seeing The Driver Era.

With the evening presenting a two-band bill, electronic three-piece Moontower were first to grace the stage, bringing a bass-fueled rock energy with just a splash of beachy vibes. Lead vocalist Jacob Culver delivered delicate, airy vocals reminiscent of pop-artist Charlie Puth. Remaining members Tom Carpenter and Devan Welsh rocked out instrumentals I can only describe as similar to punk-rock group SWMRS, but with an electronic flair. Playing through their currently unreleased EP in full, each track offered something diverse sonically--my personal favorite being “Leaving You Behind”.

With an unmistakable radio playability and a like-able nice guy energy, Moontower’s set was the perfect way to kick off the evening. What I enjoyed most about watching the performance was the light-speed energy coming from both Welsh and Carpenter, The pair were constantly multitasking between several instruments and backing vocals, and still moved around to a point that made Globe Hall’s stage look so much bigger than it is. This trio is fresh and here to have fun. With only four songs currently released on streaming platforms, Moontower has certainly made their way on to my radar and I’m eager to see what they’ll put out in the future.

The group being originally from Colorado, the adrenaline in the air was palpable as The Driver Era made their entrance and the evening moved forward to the headlining set. High-pitched screams drowned out all other sound and the duo seemed to eat up every bit of energy and excitement their presence stirred up.

Lead vocalist Ross Lynch offered a cocky and smooth persona perfect for stage, performing in a way that made it clear he knows exactly what the people want, and he knows how to give it to them. Being no stranger to performing, the singer’s experience was clear and his stage presence impressively seamless. Every hand movement, every pop of the hip, every breath had a purpose, an intent behind it. It was something I have yet to see in a musician’s live performance in a way that was as striking and consistent as Ross.

What set this duo apart from other musicians I’ve watched was the incredible attention to detail. Everything from the subtle droopiness of their eyes, locking gazes with fans in time with risque lyrics, to the timing of adjusting a waistband, every aspect of the performance was perfectly crafted and made it impossible to tear my eyes away. The vocal and musical ability of the brothers is undeniable and is what made the evening pleasant to the ears, but the performability the two have is without a doubt what stuck out most about the evening and what set the performance apart for me.

Sonically, The Driver Era offers a relaxed alternative vibe that is certainly a change from tracks the brothers’ previous group R5 put out into the world. Their set offered something for everyone, including several unreleased tracks, current music the duo has released, and a few R5 covers sprinkled in.

Standout moments of the set vocally included “San Francisco”, a more stripped down song that allowed the beautiful harmonies sung out by the duo to shine. Later on, the track “Low”, featured Rocky Lynch on lead vocals and was undeniably a fan-favorite moment of the set. Rocky Lynch offered deep, smooth vocals that fans passionately sang along with, and his is a voice I hope to hear featured more often on future releases. Throughout the set, lead vocalist Ross switched flawlessly between a controlled, crooning rasp and a strong, clear falsetto with an unbelievably melodic elegance. The duo of course knew how to have fun and rock out, with the final two songs of their encore bringing high-energy rock riffs and too many head-banging moments to count.

The Driver Era are certainly a band to watch, cultivating an environment at their shows that is fun and filled with light-hearted dancing and jumping, but doesn’t result in a super active crowd. The Lynch brothers demand attention in a way that will have you locked in for the entirety of their stage time.

Wanna find out if The Driver Era is playing near you soon? Take a look at their upcoming shows here: https://www.thedriverera.com/tours/

Review by: Liz Holland

#music #live music #concert #liz holland #the driver era #the driver era concert #boulder #colorado

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succeedly · 6 years

Text

What To Do When Someone Hates You

You Can Overcome

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

“There is one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing. Say nothing. Be nothing.” says Aristotle. Criticism comes with breaking new ground. Criticism comes with putting yourself out there. But how do you respond when that criticism turns to hatred?

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Hatred is a hard thing to handle, particularly when you feel it is unjust. But I’m writing this for you today: DON’T LET IT STOP YOU.

Spread more love than hate

Theodore Roosevelt’s Man in the Arena

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt, Excerpt from the Speech “Citizenship in the Republic” given at the Sorbonne in Paris, France April 1910

We are all people of the arena. Every human has to cope with this question:

What to Do When Someone Hates You

Be you. But being you will often cause undeserved hate from others.

Hatred is a hard thing to handle. Humans usually possess a “me-centric” view of the world. We’ve all seen how two good people can have a vastly different opinions. It happens. No matter what you do, how kind you are, or anything else, I promise you this: In your human-ness, you will attract haters. No way around it.

Haters are an inevitable part of life if you’re accomplishing anything of worth. You can decide what to do about that.

It will also shock and surprise you just how long some people will nurse hatred. It can be years later and they’re still hanging onto something that you barely remember.

Don’t confuse criticism with hate. People who care will give advice help you improve.

Tip 1: Not Every Criticism Is Motivated by Hate

A person giving you constructive criticism wants to help you improve and become better.

A hater wants to hurt you and wants you to die.

Determine if love or hate is the basis of the criticism by recognizing who criticized you and how they gave it. What was the intent? Help or harm?

Why Do We Notice the Negative?

You can be in a crowd of ten thousand and give an incredible speech. One critic blasts you on their blog or on Twitter, and what do you notice? You don’t see those hundred positive tweets — you see the one negative.

You can captivate your whole classroom except for one student who has decided to dislike you. You don’t relish 29 joyful, happy, learning kids — you languish because one student (and usually their parents) doesn’t like you. (I’ve been there — and goodness –, it’s hard when this happens!)

Tip 2: Reject Critics Math

Jon Acuff talks about this phenomenon in his book Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work that Matters calls this “critics math.” Jon says:

1 insult + 1,000 compliments = 1 insult

He goes on to tell the story of Larry David, creator of the hit TV show Seinfeld. Larry went to New York and attended a ballgame. When the organizers spotted him in the crowd, they showed his picture on the big screen and played the Seinfeld theme song as the entire stadium stood and applauded.

After the game as Larry walked to his car, a stranger drove by, rolled down his window, and yelled,

“Larry, you suck!”

Which did Larry remember later? The one stranger who said that he sucked.

Are you kidding? One rude person can erase 49,999 giving you a standing ovation?

This math doesn’t make sense.

The first step in overcoming critics math is to realize that you’re doing it and refuse to go there.

Tip 3: Keep Perspective

I deal with the haters by admitting that there’s room enough in this big wide world for both of us.- Good people can dislike me. I can even dislike good people. Good and evil aren’t determined by whether people like you or me. This perspective helps.

I recall a professor in college who drew a little x at the corner of the board. Across the board he drew a cloud.

He points at the cloud and says, “This is the universe.” He walks across the front of the room to the tiny x and tells the class, “This is you.” Then, he says something profound. “Notice that you” (pointing at the x) “are not at the center of the universe” (pointing at the cloud.)

Love is a powerful response to hate.

Tip 4: Center Your Thoughts in Healthy Ways

Nope. I’m not the center of the universe, and neither are you. But we can choose to center our thoughts daily. When hate rears its ugly head — it hurts us. – And yet centering our thoughts gets easier with time. Focus on your goals. We’ve got things to get done!

Tip 5: Focus on the Likers, Not the Haters

Stop focusing on the futile: You probably can’t make the haters like you.

Instead, focus on the people who actually do like you. Spend time cultivating those relationships and perhaps they’ll come to love you (and you them).

Focus on helping and serving others and being kind. Choose to ignore those who may be speaking negatively about you — that can quickly become paranoia. Usually, it turns out that people aren’t even talking about you at all. I hate to tell you what I tell myself: You’re not that important. Keep perspective and keep to your task.

So, decide. We’ve already heard Theodore Roosevelt tell us clearly, “It is not the critic who counts” but why do we give such things power over us? Why should we let haters distract us from living an epic life?

Tip 6: Celebrate Good Times and Progress

My first boss sent a memo to his manager praising my performance. He brought the copy to my desk and I was so excited. I couldn’t believe it. Then, he told me something I’ll never forget.

“Create an ‘atta girl’ folder for those hard days. They’ll come and you’ll need to remember who you are and who you can be. This is your first ‘atta girl.’ Keep it.”

I still have the folder and made one in Evernote so that I can always get to it. “Atta girl” has pulled me through dark days when I failed at something.

We all fall. I fail. You fail. It’s part of life.

Tip 7: Keep Moving Forward

Failure becomes permanent only if we stop trying. It becomes success when we learn from it. It also helps to remember the good days when the bad days come.

But let’s be clear about the difference between failure and criticism. Criticism is not failure. Having a hater is not a failure. Being criticized and having a hater is part of being human.

Sweet Revenge.

Dr. Phil Adler, my favorite professor, always talked about racism and sexism and how to overcome the. He’d tell us that there were people who would not want us to be included in conversations because of our gender or race.

“Be so good that they can’t ignore you,” he said. The best revenge is success and proving them wrong.”

Ever since that moment in class, I’ve repeated this thought when faced with a hater targeting me or my gender.

Tip 8: Be Excellent in Your Work.

Your best revenge against haters is proving them wrong. Succeed and work your best to do a fantastic job at whatever you’re called to do.

Some people want swift justice because their me-centered world demands it. Well, life is a marathon not a sprint. Be a turtle (as I share in Chapter 13 of Reinventing Writing).

Who Hating Really Hurts

Hating hurts the hater most of all. I read a story of the freed slave Frederick Douglass riding a train through Pennsylvania. He was told to ride with the luggage, and several white passengers came back to the luggage car to express how upset they were. Douglass responded by telling them that he was not degraded but that those who did this to him were degrading themselves for treating a fellow human being with disrespect. (Paraphrased from a story included in Up from Slavery by Booker T. Washington.)

Tip 9: Commit Not To Hate

Hating is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Hating is like tying a dead body to your back — the body doesn’t care that it’s lashed to you, but you bear the burden.

Hating hurts the hater most of all.

When you are bothered by a person’s hate, it gives them power over you. They can rejoice because they ruined your day. Their purpose is wounding you and causing you pain, and they’d probably be happy only if you were dead. Since there’s nothing you can do to make them happy you have to learn to live with it!

Tip 10: Live Life!

And live with it you do! But do more than just live — thrive and succeed and enjoy your life. Fulfill your mission and spend time your loving the 99.9% of people who don’t have a problem with the fact you’re breathing air at this moment.

Life is too short to make a big deal about a small person. And hate does exactly that — it has a way of making the person on the receiving end feel smaller and less incapable of success.

So, my friends — forgive and move on. Do whatever it takes, but let go of hate. If someone hates you, sing the song from Frozen and “let it go.”

Haters are gonna hate. The question is: what will you do about it?

The post What To Do When Someone Hates You appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

What To Do When Someone Hates You published first on https://getnewcourse.tumblr.com/

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strivesy · 6 years

Text

What To Do When Someone Hates You

You Can Overcome

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Listen to This Blog Post

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Hatred is a hard thing to handle, particularly when you feel it is unjust. But I’m writing this for you today: DON’T LET IT STOP YOU.

Spread more love than hate

Theodore Roosevelt’s Man in the Arena

Theodore Roosevelt, Excerpt from the Speech “Citizenship in the Republic” given at the Sorbonne in Paris, France April 1910

We are all people of the arena. Every human has to cope with this question:

What to Do When Someone Hates You

Be you. But being you will often cause undeserved hate from others.

Haters are an inevitable part of life if you’re accomplishing anything of worth. You can decide what to do about that.

It will also shock and surprise you just how long some people will nurse hatred. It can be years later and they’re still hanging onto something that you barely remember.

Don’t confuse criticism with hate. People who care will give advice help you improve.

Tip 1: Not Every Criticism Is Motivated by Hate

A person giving you constructive criticism wants to help you improve and become better.

A hater wants to hurt you and wants you to die.

Determine if love or hate is the basis of the criticism by recognizing who criticized you and how they gave it. What was the intent? Help or harm?

Why Do We Notice the Negative?

Tip 2: Reject Critics Math

Jon Acuff talks about this phenomenon in his book Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work that Matters calls this “critics math.” Jon says:

1 insult + 1,000 compliments = 1 insult

After the game as Larry walked to his car, a stranger drove by, rolled down his window, and yelled,

“Larry, you suck!”

Which did Larry remember later? The one stranger who said that he sucked.

Are you kidding? One rude person can erase 49,999 giving you a standing ovation?

This math doesn’t make sense.

The first step in overcoming critics math is to realize that you’re doing it and refuse to go there.

Tip 3: Keep Perspective

I recall a professor in college who drew a little x at the corner of the board. Across the board he drew a cloud.

Love is a powerful response to hate.

Tip 4: Center Your Thoughts in Healthy Ways

Tip 5: Focus on the Likers, Not the Haters

Stop focusing on the futile: You probably can’t make the haters like you.

Instead, focus on the people who actually do like you. Spend time cultivating those relationships and perhaps they’ll come to love you (and you them).

Tip 6: Celebrate Good Times and Progress

My first boss sent a memo to his manager praising my performance. He brought the copy to my desk and I was so excited. I couldn’t believe it. Then, he told me something I’ll never forget.

“Create an ‘atta girl’ folder for those hard days. They’ll come and you’ll need to remember who you are and who you can be. This is your first ‘atta girl.’ Keep it.”

I still have the folder and made one in Evernote so that I can always get to it. “Atta girl” has pulled me through dark days when I failed at something.

We all fall. I fail. You fail. It’s part of life.

Tip 7: Keep Moving Forward

Failure becomes permanent only if we stop trying. It becomes success when we learn from it. It also helps to remember the good days when the bad days come.

But let’s be clear about the difference between failure and criticism. Criticism is not failure. Having a hater is not a failure. Being criticized and having a hater is part of being human.

Sweet Revenge.

“Be so good that they can’t ignore you,” he said. The best revenge is success and proving them wrong.”

Ever since that moment in class, I’ve repeated this thought when faced with a hater targeting me or my gender.

Tip 8: Be Excellent in Your Work.

Your best revenge against haters is proving them wrong. Succeed and work your best to do a fantastic job at whatever you’re called to do.

Some people want swift justice because their me-centered world demands it. Well, life is a marathon not a sprint. Be a turtle (as I share in Chapter 13 of Reinventing Writing).

Who Hating Really Hurts

Tip 9: Commit Not To Hate

Hating is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Hating is like tying a dead body to your back — the body doesn’t care that it’s lashed to you, but you bear the burden.

Hating hurts the hater most of all.

Tip 10: Live Life!

Life is too short to make a big deal about a small person. And hate does exactly that — it has a way of making the person on the receiving end feel smaller and less incapable of success.

So, my friends — forgive and move on. Do whatever it takes, but let go of hate. If someone hates you, sing the song from Frozen and “let it go.”

Haters are gonna hate. The question is: what will you do about it?

The post What To Do When Someone Hates You appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

What To Do When Someone Hates You published first on https://medium.com/@seminarsacademy

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