feel free to leave a reply or reply in tags/reblogs, i know there are way more experiences than these 12 but i'm extremely curious because i have repeatedly been told that SSRIs are not good for bipolar people but I see that we get prescribed them all the time, anyway. please feel free to boost this, i want to hear from other bipolar folks.

Being medicated doesn't mean becoming normal.

There's this trope I've seen in media, mentally ill that take meds and suddenly become neurotypical. To me this was a harmful fantasy, thinking that medicine means cure, and a fast one.

The reality of meds is often disappointing. You still find your limitations and differences. Lots of underground symptoms and sensitivities don't ever vanish.

Being bipolar myself it often left me perplexed, the fact that I was receiving correct treatment, but still struggled. Not with acute episodes, just a baby version of previous symptoms.

I'm trying to accept bipolar as my personal disability. I figured that medicine is my support, like a cane could be for those with physical disabilities. It means I'm still not like the rest and I will always struggle, but man is it nice to have some help...

Things people should know about bipolar disorder

1. We don't all the time jump from mania to depression from one moment to another. Rapid cycling means that a person experiences four or more episodes in one year. Rapid cycling only occurs in 10-20% of people with bipolar disorder with women and people with bipolar II being more likely to experience periods of it. In short, for an episode to be even counted, a hypomania should last minimum four days, mania for a week, and depression for two weeks. The exception to the rule is the times when a person is suffering from a mixed episode. Mixed episodes are defined as experiencing both depression and (hypo)mania either simultaneously or in rapid sequence. Around 40-50% of people with bipolar disorder experience a mixed episode at some point in their life, some more frequently than others.

2. External and internal things do trigger episodes. These mean things like stress, big changes in life like a breakup or a move to another city, but also hormonal changes, change in the season or weather, and even changes in our sleep patterns (yes, we shouldn't randomly stay up for the whole night). Even some doctors still live under a false belief that bipolar mood changes cannot be affected by anything external or internal except the brain randomly deciding to go haywire, while various studies show otherwise. Studies also show that 1 in 4 people with bipolar also have SAD (seasonal affective disorder). The episode can, of course, also occur totally randomly and without any clear reason.

3. We are not stupid. For some reason, plenty of people seem to live under the assumption that people with bipolar are generally unintelligent. This is not the case. In fact, a study found that 12 risk genes for bipolar disorder were also linked to intelligence. In 75 % of these genes, bipolar disorder risk was associated with higher intelligence. Moreover, the connection between intelligence and bipolar disorder is largely seen in those with high verbal IQ (VIQ). This type of intelligence is associated with creativity, abstract reasoning, and comprehension through spoken and written words. However, if the illness is very serious, there is a risk that the person's cognitive skills, such as verbal skills and memory, are impaired, especially during episodes. Some medications, such as Topamax, are also associated with certain side effects that may affect your memory, thinking, and even language skills.

to all of my fellow bipolar havers out there: do y'all get songs stuck in your head when manic or hypomanic? i'm not talking about your average earwig, i'm asking if you get the same song stuck in your head for HOURS. if you aren't listening to other music or having a conversation, it's there. it might make it hard to sleep or concentrate. for me, it's usually a very short yet memorable section of the song that repeats like a broken record. i sometimes get songs stuck in my head when i'm not hypomanic, but this is always an indicator of when my mood is in flux bc of how consistent it is as a marker for me and how much it interferes with my thought process.

am i alone in this? i can't find anything in the medical literature about this regarding bipolar in particular, just ocd.

I'm losing my mind about this.

hey bipolar girlies remember that season changes can trigger symptoms so if shit starts going wrong and you can’t explain why that might be something to look into. take care of yourselves i love you

Every time I see people talk about "neurodivergency" or "neurodivergent people" or "ND", I am again reminded that, it seems, to a lot of people the only neurodivergency there is, is autism/ADHD.

When you talk about "things only neurodivergent people do" or "social concepts NDs don't get", I wish everyone would just say autism/autistics/ADHD. Everyone is aware that LOTS of things are considered neurodivergent and LOTS of them don't experience ANY of the things autistic/ADHD people do, right?

I am bipolar and am considered neurodivergent because of my bipolar and yettttttt I do not experience ANY of the symptoms or situations that autistics/ADHD do, yet everyone just NDs all over the place when they actually just mean autistics and ADHD.

It's just frustrating to find posts specifically for ND people only to realize 9/10 times, they just mean autism/ADHD. SO MANY ILLNESSES/DISORDERS MAKE YOU NEURODIVERGENT, NOT JUST AUTISM/ADHD!

I think I've finally hit the lowest tier of my low and hitting it right off on a mania. Usually I go at least a couple of weeks just neutral but, sure I'll take an immediate high after feeling like this. EX: Cannot calm down, off the walls for no seen reason. Hit my head on the car on accident and giggled instead of breaking down. Wanting to be out in public. (I'm a natural introvert for reference.) Wanting to squeal loudly for no seen reason. /pos post btw

New Content!

Hi everybody. It's been a challenging few months, as my disability symptoms have really been acting up. The result is that I haven't been able to work on any of my projects, no matter how much I normally enjoy them.

But things are looking up! Here's the first podcast episode in 20 months, and more stuff is coming soon.

If it isn't showing up on your favorite platform, let me know and I'll get it added.

a lil about me because it's been FOREVER

i'm hailey! i'm 23 (24 in april 2024). i'm bisexual 💖 i moved from wisconsin to arizona in october of 2022 and i LOVE it out here. best life decision i ever made tbh im so much happier and healthier. i'm a taurus sun, sag moon, cancer rising. i have a mental health tiktok! it is the same username as my tumblr and it's also linked in my bio :)

current dx: bpd, bipolar 1, ptsd, anxiety, atypical ed (this one is going away and isn't as bad of an issue anymore but it's still there)

current meds: effexor only! my holy grail 🥰 i was on zyprexa but quit it about 3 months ago because i started hating it. i am currently being monitored so if i show signs of a manic episode i will go right back on it.

if anyone has any questions please send an ask or message me! i'm an open book i don't mind 💖

It's the little things in life, sure.

But you don't have to be satisfied by daily morning cup of coffee alone.

You can have a big plan and work for it and dream about it. I hopped on a train with my friends and took a four day trip, and you know what, it wasn't the coffee in another country, it was us, laughing on top of the castle tower and touching the river that splits the capital.

And yes, i came home and i still love this morning cup of coffee. But it will never be enough for me. I want more. I'm grateful and happy for what i have. But I'm allowed to want the big stuff as well. This is self care too

when i cancelled weekend coffee plans with my friend because i was heading to the emergency room and pretty sure i was gonna be placed in a psych ward, she told me to have fun on my grippy sock vacation.

i didn’t feel anything about that at the time. i was kind of in the business of feeling nothing then. but looking back on it, it strikes me as language that is deeply impersonal, a phrase that seeks to scrub the reality of what i was facing.

a reaction like that slides very easily into the inpatient experience as a whole. everything is deeply isolating, and i remember taking a two hour ambulance ride to the one hospital in my state that had an open bed, the two emts on the van saying nothing to me. i was a package, not a patient. not a person.

inpatient seeks to erase personality. scrubs, toiletries, and rooms are identical. it’s easier to manage people that way. there was very little humanity, nurses had blank, rigid, faces, and the few therapy groups were cold, overworked social workers handing out worksheets. doctor consults were a means to an end, i was not an individual, i was a sack of meat that needed a decent combination of chemicals so i was stable just enough to get cycled out.

most of my healing was found with the other patience. talking about hardships and life with people as vulnerable and raw as me. connecting with folks that i would never consider befriending outside the ward.

i have never felt so connected to the idea of a universal humanity and experience as the time i shared with my ward roommate. she had taken a bottle of seroquel when she couldn’t access an abortion.

i combed week-old knots out of her hair. she read me an old brother’s grimm that she brought in. we secretly shared her nice smelling lotion. i held my hand on her stomach once. she said i was the first person to feel her baby kick.

✨Bad bitches take their meds ✨

Hey question, how much weight did you gain on your antidepressants?

I was a super sporty gal who ran everyday. When depression hit I stopped running but also eating and lost more. Now I'm +20kg from where I was when running and still not feeling well enough to start running again. Not making me feel any better knowing how big I've gotten with the meds. Total weight gain: 30kg (66 lbs)