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imastrangeone98 · 11 months

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So it's time for some bullshit- for some reason, I wanna see Jing yuan (my luck on getting him was so gooooood im so happy just thinking about it 😍) have a lover who owns a bakery :D minors gtfo there will be smut later (cuz it's me lol)

It's a small, humble shop tucked away in the corner of the Central Starskiff Haven, yet every day, without fail, lines would form from opening to closing time. Customers would wait patiently to order the most popular item on the menu: a dozen salted egg custard buns, piping hot from the steamers.

You serve and serve, always keeping an eye on the clock so you can greet your most favored guests. And they arrive like clockwork: Yanqing, who eagerly bounces toward you just as you close the shop temporarily for lunch, and Jing Yuan trailing behind him with a lazy smirk on his lips.

The young lad never fails to thank you every time with a larger-than-life smile that makes his eyes crinkle around the corners, skipping away with several fresh buns in hand.

His mentor, on the other hand, doesn't disappear as quickly. He helps you set up your small break table, placing your lunch on top, and flits about the kitchen to whip up a pot of freshly brewed jasmine tea before seating himself across from you. And he listens intently at your stories about your customers: the one who always seems to lack spare change, the one who is currently celebrating the birth of a child, the one who seeks some stress relief from the labors of the artisanship commission through food, the one who flirts constantly with you to both your amusement and annoyance. (Jing Yuan's eye twitches just the slightest at this particular one, so you quickly change topics).

Whenever you think to stop your stories, which must be so much duller compared to his grand tales of warfare and negotiations, he gently grabs hold of your hand and presses it his cheek, tilting his head to press kisses to your knuckles. A silent encouragement to keep talking. So you do, regaling him with tale after tale until your lunchbox is empty and it's time to reopen.

He helps you clean up the table and packs away your lunchbox for cleaning, sets aside the empty teapot, and heaves a great, resigned sigh. You laugh at the dread in his eyes of returning to the Seat of Divine Foresight, so you grab the back of his neck to pull him in for a deep kiss, licking at the bottom of his lip for good measure.

When you pull away, you're both gasping for air, a small string of saliva connecting your mouths together still. Yuan stares at you, hearts in his eyes, and pulls you in for another kiss. Then another, and another, until he's tugging at your shirt, whining for you to close the shop for the day and return home with him.

The ache between your thighs begs for you to agree, but you know better than to give into his whims too easily. Especially knowing that the reward will be all the sweeter with patience. So with one final kiss to his addicting lips, you send him off on his merry way, a promise to reunite later on lingering in the air and in both your minds as you reopen your store, already sighing at the long queue beginning to form, and Jing Yuan returns to the Seat of Divine Foresight, eagerly anticipating when he can leave once more.

(again it wouldn't be me without some horrible smut- everything up to here is gn!reader, so plz do not read further than this if fem!reader is not your thing. Again, it's fem!reader from this point on- you have been warned)

"Be patient, you said," Yuan hisses into your ear, thrusting harder into your sore cunt. He moans, deep and hoarse, right by your ear, and you squirm in his grip. But he shuts it down immediately, forcing your head deeper into the pillows. "I've been patient. Don't you think I deserve a reward?"

Each word is emphasized with a powerful thrust of his hips. You would've smacked your head on the headboard if he didn't have such a tight grip on your hair as he took you from behind.

"Yuan," you heave, but whatever you want to say is brutally fucked out of you. His hips slam the air out of your lungs, and you have to scrabble onto your wobbly arms to catch your breath. That is, if he doesn't push your head down into the pillows yet again.

"Hold... hold still," your lover whimpers above you. "Just a little... more-"

Yuan angles himself, and suddenly, his cock is hitting deeper inside you. You swear he's reaching your cervix, and you yelp. He's close. You can sense it even in your lust-fueled haze.

Yuan's thrusts increase in speed and ferocity, sore cockhead ramming repeatedly into your sensitive spot. You squeal and cum hard, legs shaking from the force.

He moans, hips jolting against yours as he spills inside you. It's hot and so filling; if you weren't so cockdrunk, you could've felt it in your belly.

He huffs, pants warm on your ear. You feel him press kisses on your skin before his hands gently wrap around your midriff, lifting you up and turning you on your back. You gaze up at him blearily: ruddy cheeks, heaving chest, hearts in his eyes. He smiles at you gently before collapsing on top of you with a hearty guffaw. You wheeze at the solid weight of him, and jokingly slap at his arm before succumbing to his whims.

You nuzzle into his neck, and you swear that he purrs at your touch. "You seemed like you enjoyed yourself~" you can't help but tease.

He hummed in agreement, turning on his side to grin at you. But it quickly disappears into a childish pout. "We could've been 'enjoying' ourselves much earlier if you just came home with me..." he grumbles.

A sly smile crosses your lips, and in an instant, you pounce on him. When he turns on his back, you jump into his lap and grind on his softened, sensitive cock, moaning at the stimulation on your sore clit. He groans, hands flying to your waist to keep you still.

"Then let's just enjoy ourselves now~" you whisper in his ear, sliding up until the tip of his length catches on to your hole.

And Jing Yuan, the mighty general of the Xianzhou Luofu, does nothing but throw his head back and moan as you send him to another high.

#honkai star rail #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #hsr smut #hsr x reader

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averageallogene · 9 months

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Going through his predecessor's case files one lazy afternoon, Heizou comes across a case involving you, a childhood friend and his first puppy love.

The more the detective reads into the case, the more convinced he is that you are innocent. He decides to reopen the case discreetly and finds out you were framed by your best friend who has fallen in love with your then arranged marriage partner. And she had wasted no time in marrying him after you were incarcerated.

Presenting his new evidence to Sara, Heizou has you released from your wrongful imprisonment.

HEIZOU ♡⊹˚ I promise [SFW]

fem. reader (3rd person) ; angst to fluff, I suppose?

3k words.

notes. Slowly trying to finish these out so I can open my asks again. Still, I hope this buildup is satisfactory~ Enjoy ✧˖°.

The streets of Inazuma hadn't felt so quiet in a long while, despite all the noise happening around him. Normally, the detective would have a lot to do, yet strangely, there was no case that needed his attention. A good thing, right? Of course, Heizou was glad that there was a moment of peace, even if for an instance. Still, he was a detective, and for a detective without a job to solve, he felt restless. And when he felt restless, he found himself thinking back to less than favorable memories. He despised that.

"Come on, let's go get some dango!" A young boy shouted to a girl around his age, the pair running through the streets hastily to their destination. Heizou couldn't help but feel his expression soften, his gaze following them as he walked slower.

"Come on Hei!" He remembers the nickname she'd given him, holding his wrist tightly as they would evade through the other pedestrians.

"I'm going! Slow down." He responded, a smile ever present as she only denied him and went even faster.

"And miss out on the fresh batch of dango? Nuh huh!"

He remembers how [F/N] had always loved dango. It was always something they would get whenever they had the extra mora, and the bright smile she would always have never failed to make him in turn smile.

She also loved to go and have a long look through all the stalls, talking about how she would love to one day run her own business. [F/N] also deeply enjoyed playing kemari like the children near him were doing, unbeknownst to her, always winning because Heizou let her.

He could only sigh, his expression returning to a frown. There was no denying how deeply he missed her, yet he had no idea what had been of her. Last time he knew, she was engaged to marry, and Heizou could only watch from the sidelines, supporting her to the fullest whenever his busy schedule let him. Before the wedding though, she had suddenly vanished, and Heizou could no longer contact her. He could only watch as her fiancé seemingly moved on, with one of her closest friends better yet.

His intuition was sharp, and if he knew anything, was that the situation was suspicious. Yet, he couldn't for a while find [F/N], and neither her friend nor her former partner wished to speak with him. He was left to ponder and brood by himself, reminiscing over his friend whilst hoping she would be alright.

It was during one of these afternoons that, with seemingly no cases to crack, Heizou decided to go through a pile of papers that no one within the Tenryo Commission wished to go through. It mostly consisted of papers left by his predecessor, including evidence that led to nothing, testimonies that held no weight, files that described cases that were closed. Heizou's trained eye went through them all, half wishing to find something to do and some case to truly solve. And something he did find, his day ending up doing a massive flip as the sudden gale of information blew him away.

Amidst the files he found a familiar name, it being none other than the one he'd once held so dear - [F/N]. Shock and disbelief washed over him as he carefully read over every little word, sitting himself up in a more comfortable manner as he deconstructed everything, piece by piece.

It made no sense. It simply didn't. If he knew anyone, it would be his friend [F/N]. He would bet his life on her character, and attempted murder of her fiancé was one of the last crimes he would ever even humor her committing. Yet the file described it as such, the evidence, in his eyes, being nothing more than circumstantial at best. The attached papers regarded potential witnesses, yet there were no interviews done, and as such, no alibi thoroughly checked.

It made his blood boil, yet he couldn't deny how he was biased. Even still, if no one would pick up her case, Heizou would have to do it himself. He didn't leave his office for the rest of the following day, and the days that came after, he dedicated every moment that he wasn’t eating or sleeping to making sure he went through all. Of. The. Evidence. In fact, he'd even unearthed leads no one would've even considered, painstakingly going through every little point before beginning to construct his case.

It wasn't long after he found where she was being detained. It broke his heart to even think she was being held for something she didn't do, yet Heizou was on a mission to ensure her release. During one such day, finally, Sara had witnessed him leaving his quarters, yet no questions were asked. The mere expression he showed was enough to her to give him space, watching how he simply walked out into the streets.

He'd managed to appoint a visit, and upon being told someone wished to see her, [F/N] couldn't even fathom who it would be. Life in prison had been rough, and even more so when there was this constant weight on her about no one believing her. No one allowed her to send letters outside, the ostracisation of being labeled a murderer rendering her completely alone. Even the guards gazed upon her with pure hatred, only speaking with her when only utterly necessary. Not even her family wished to see her, cutting her off and publicly outing her in order to save face.

Thus, she was completely shocked upon reaching the visitation room, only to see none other than Heizou. He smiled warmly in her direction, the mere action being almost enough to bring her to tears.

"Hei?" She'd let out, almost as if hesitating it was her who he came to see.

"Hey, [F/N]. Come, have a seat with me?" Instead he welcomed her, patting the table so she would come closer. He only watched with heartbreak as she hesitantly came closer, sitting in front of him while only gazing at him from time to time.

She looked nothing other than exhausted, broken. Her hair was disheveled, the eye bags under her eyes heavy. She'd certainly lost sleep, her skin paler to reflect her poor health. She almost hid her eyes behind her hair, head hanging low. It looked nothing like the [F/N] he remembered, Heizou doing his utmost to remain calm and soothing to her.

"Hey, [F/N], look at me?" He'd calmly beckoned, extending his hand to her as he tilted his head gently. He watched as she obliged, finally raising her head before eventually taking his hand. "I'm sorry I've taken so long. I thought you'd simply moved away and no one would speak to me about it."

"I thought that you'd…"

"Abandon you?" He finished for her, watching how her eyes grew watery at the mere thought. It was his turn to frown, his head shaking in response. "No, no I'd never. I know you'd never do anything like this, [F/N]. Had I known earlier, I'd taken action long ago… I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, don't blame yourself." She reassured him, her tone a little lighter upon being reassured he was on her side. Finally, she thought, someone that listened to her. At that moment, it was difficult to combat the tears, his grip on her hand tightening.

"I do blame myself…" Heizou confessed, his smile finally cracking as his eyebrows furrowed. He watched as she looked deep into his gaze, his voice lowering as he took a deep breath. "Had I been more attentive, you wouldn't have ended up here. I'm sorry [F/N], I will do absolutely everything to correct this mistake."

"Hei, you can't possibly mean…."

"I'm already constructing the case." He cut her off, his voice hushing in a tone she had so dearly missed. It held the mischievousness and passion that was so characteristically his. His fingers were now intertwined with hers, his grip confident and welcoming as he warmed her hand. "And… I know you'd perhaps rather not talk about it, but I'll need your help."

"Of course… What can I do?" [F/N] asked, her eyes finally gleaming with a hint of hope that fueled Heizou's fire.

"Can you tell me every name of every person you spoke to on the day that you were accused of committing the crime? I'll need absolutely every name, from morning until night, if you can."

"Okay… I'll try my best." She nodded her head.

With a small notebook in hand, Heizou meticulously noted down every name, and at which time she'd spoken to them, down to what the topics of conversation were. It had been a while since, yet [F/N] did her absolute best to try and give him as much detail as she could. There wasn't a lot of time of visitation left after that, but Heizou still went through with asking if she had any idea of anyone that would wish her harm, or want her out of any picture. Of course, he had an inkling, yet he still wished to know if there were any other possible viewpoints he should consider. Unsurprisingly, she seemed to not have anyone in mind; given how she was left to rot without any contact with the outside world, it was almost a given.

"Don't worry, [F/N]. I'll get you out of here, can you hang on just a little longer until I do?" He smiled softly.

"Of course. Thank you Hei… Truly, thank you." She smiled genuinely to him, her heart beating with hope after such a long while.

"Good, I knew you could do it. Before I go, though…" Heizou carefully went through his pocket, before asking her to hold her arm out for him.

Almost reluctantly she did, eyeing him curiously before watching how he gently wrapped something around her wrist. Her lips parted and she gasped upon noticing it was a small bracelet, one of bright and small pearls that reflected an ethereal sheen.

"Are these-?"

"Yeah, they're pearls from Watatsumi Island." Heizou's smile was enough to make her heart skip a beat, his hand still holding hers in place with a kind touch. He lifted his other arm before revealing he now held a similar one to his own wrist, delighting in the way a smile bloomed on her face. "I promise you, [F/N]. I'll get you out of here, and then I'll take you to Watatsumi just like we wished to when we were younger."

"You kept them all these years…" She laughed softly, reminiscing on how she had once given him a pair of bracelets as a gift - the second one being a precaution, in case he were to lose the first one.

"Of course I did!" He feigned hurt over her statement, the pair laughing shortly before quieting down. In an act of bravery he tucked some hair behind her ear, smiling with a softer touch to his features now. "Wait for me, [F/N]. I'll do you justice."

"Thank you Hei… I'll wait for as long as needed."

Bias be damned, his fire was all consuming, raging as the detective roared through the evidence without any mercy. All his time, energy and dedication was now spent on a single case, the others being given to his colleagues as he rarely was seen out of his office if not out interviewing witnesses. Heizou watched, he studied, he learned. Most witnesses were cooperative, the very few that hadn't been interviewed showcasing worry for the young girl that had seemingly attempted to commit murder. Coincidentally, or rather not, their testimonies hadn't been brought to the table, leaving him with a lot of important details that could completely shift the perspective of the case. He could feel it, the resolve of it all was at his fingertips, the truth nearly shining through as he finalized compiling all the evidence.

All that was left was a real culprit behind this framing, but that he already had. From the shadows he watched, his eyes cold and unforgiving as he studied them for days. He watched as [F/N]'s once best friend behaved, living her life seemingly unbothered with no one other than who was once her fiancé. Jealousy… It fit right into the final puzzle, all Heizou needed was a compelling argument, and most of all, a confession.

But oh, how lucky. The winds seemed to bless his days, for the following events lined up almost too perfectly! A case of fraud came to his hands in which [F/N]'s former fiancé was accused, leading him oh but no choice! to investigate their home to clear his name. Perhaps he was being too dirty in his work, yet at that point, he didn't care. He knew he had the culprit, he only needed for it to be truly undeniable to his superior. And as luck would have it, the fiancé was cleared, the fraud being traced back to his business partner. But oh? What would he find in the same box where he'd found this evidence, but a diary that belonged to none other than his wife? Casually he flipped through it, reading every entry, before finally finding the last piece he needed.

A single page had been ripped out, the rest of the diary being used as normal. Yet with nothing more than a little charcoal, Heizou was meticulously able to reveal a cute little entry that overlapped the one that was written in the page, an entry that was more than enough to what he needed. The writing was the same, the construction of the phrases followed the same patterns. There was no denying it.

With it, he had everything needed. He had a confession, a confession that had been ripped out from a diary and disposed of to cover the truth. A confession that spoke of the true culprit behind [F/N]'s case, fueled by jealousy of what her best friend couldn't have if she wasn't taken out of the picture. He had witnesses, a rock solid alibi. It had been difficult, but he'd found an older lady that could vouch for [F/N]'s innocence - at the time of the supposed attempted murder, she had been helping her with cleaning her estate, contradictory to what had been spread.

He had everything, and as such, he finally felt it was enough to present the case to Kujou Sara. His superior knew that it had to be something serious for Heizou to dedicate so much time on, and as such, she listened carefully, a few other members of the Commission accompanying her. It took a while, the process was grueling, yet a decision was made.

[F/N] was innocent, wrongly convicted.

Kujou Sara herself went to the prison where she was held, ordered her immediate release. The woman offered her a sincere apology, promising her name to be cleared without much delay as well as a hefty sum of mora as compensation for her wrongful time spent in jail. Heizou was there waiting for her as well, offering her a place to stay until it was safe for her to return to the public eye.

Never had an embrace felt so warm, the young detective holding her tightly while allowing her to freely cry.

It didn't take long before such a freeing moment finally arrived. The Raiden Shogun herself had been presented the evidence, and after the fact, she ordered a letter be written to announce [F/N]'s wrongful conviction and innocence. Under Her Almighty's name was the young woman deemed innocent, and to those that wouldn't view her as such from that moment on could expect retribution were they to try anything. Only under such a statement would the public be swayed, for if their Archon vouched for an innocent life, they themselves could vouch as well - a twisted point of view, for Heizou, yet it was all that could be done thanks to Kujou Sara.

The fresh air of Narukami hadn't ever felt so liberating. It had been a long while since [F/N] had been able to walk through the streets, Heizou accompanying her as they held hands for her to feel more reassured. His warm squeeze would often bring her back to reality, the reality that she couldn't help but question, after all, she was free? Her eyes would wander around with a small smile, basking in everything she could see while she was still unaware of everything - Heizou figured it was still too early for her to know who had been the cause of her false incarceration; she deserved to first savor her freedom before taking time to process everything else.

"I can't believe I'm free… And it's all thanks to you, Hei." She smiled his way, her face finally gleaming with the light he so much adored.

"You don't have to mention it. I promised, didn't I?" He in turn smiled back, bringing her ever so closer, basking in her presence as they remained with their hands intertwined.

"Yes, you did." [F/N] giggled. "And you promised you'd take me to Watatsumi, too."

Despite the clear tease, he nodded his head with full confidence. "Indeed. Our trip is next week, okay? Don’t forget to start packing." He basked in delight at how she seemed taken aback, him in turn laughing melodiously. "I already have the tickets, and a wonderful little house where we can stay. I can't wait to show you all the best sights!"

"You could've told me! I didn't want you to pay for everything!' [F/N] whined, eyebrows furrowing as the blush on her face deepened in color.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head." Heizou cooed, smiling innocently enough before he added with a hum. "Though, if you wish to repay, I'll gladly take some fresh dango as payment?"

"Deal!" She nodded her head, before holding his hand tighter and beginning to walk faster. "Let's go then, I'll buy you all the dango you want!"

"Oh? How generous!" He laughed merrily, the dreamy smile on his face never leaving his face as he basked in the similar scenario of his younger days.

Yes, some dango and green tea sounded like a great, delicious way to celebrate another solved case.

#genshin impact #genshin impact heizou x reader #genshin heizou x reader #shikanoin heizou x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin drabbles #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #yoko drabbles

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linskywords · 2 months

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Hi Linsky! I’m not sure if you’ve answered this already, but I was curious to know what fics you’re currently commissioned to write, and if you’re ever going to accept more requests?

Hi! Sure, I think I mentioned the commissions in passing but not in isolation. Here they are:

Wyatt/Roope soulmate AU -- this one is of course already posted!

Jamie Benn/Joe Pavelski wandering heart AU -- this trope is totally new to me, and I got waaaay too into the resulting plot and am currently on ~33K of what was going to be a 20K story. 😅 But as you can probably guess from that, I'm really enjoying writing it and hope to be able to start posting soon!

1988 Jonny goes into rut -- going back to the wolfverse for this one. Gonna visit the boys and their babies in 2023 👀

As for your second question, probably but I don't know when! I've had a great time writing the commissions so far; they've led me to some story types and pairings I might not have ended up with on my own, which was one of the reasons I wanted to open them in the first place -- I felt like I could use a little variety in what I was writing, and I wanted the intellectual challenge of figuring out outside prompts. And it's been great feeling like I'm contributing to some rarely written pairings. Overall, there hasn't been anything in this process so far that's made me feel negatively about the prospect of doing it again. That said, the list of stories I want to write after the commissions are done has gotten long, so it might be a while before I get through all that and want to reopen. I'll certainly let you all know if I do!

#hockey rpf #wyatt johnston #roope hintz #jamie benn #joe pavelski #jonathan toews #patrick kane #1988 #commissions

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allhailweegee · 4 months

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MAN HOLY SHIT HOW HAVE I NEVER REALIZED YOU ARE ODD-CHIPS AND YOU'VE APPARENTLY REBLOGGED MY TURBO ART LING BEFORE TOO !?!?!?!

I'M A MASSIVE FAN OF YOUR ART AND I HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS HI. Your kc blog is one of tbose that motivated me to want to start working on my own for a while now !!!!!

Some day in the future I may also be planning to IM you for a commission or two... given the topic of this ask you might already have an idea of what (better said, who).

GIKJFDIMKFD TO BE FAIR!! My URLs are not at ALL similar.

I've noticed usually people share a recognizable element between their art blog and main, but unfortunately, AllHailWeegee has been my online name since 2008 for literally everything.

"Odd-Chips" only came about when I NEEDED some type of distinct art name (it used to be "OrandaTheUnclever" because. I couldn't think of a name and my friend suggested it hILJKFD)

ANYWAYS I DID!! I REMEMBER SEEING IT POP UP ON DEVIANTART AND SCOURED FOR ANY OTHER PLACED YOU POSTED IT HLKFMKLFD I thought I followed you afterwards cause your style fucks, but apparently not! (This Has Now Been Rectified)

ALSO OH MY GOD AUUGGHHHGHHH!! 🥺 🥺 🥺 I'm so glad to have inspired you and that you like my art so much, hrhgrhhgh! q_q)!! I know that the WiR fandom is a bit small now, but that movie still has a huge chokehold on me and I KNOW it does for other people, too. So I think people would go absolutely sicko mode over a new KC blog.

In any case, I DEFINITELY wanted to try to reopen my commissions again before the month is over! When I moved, I ended up closing them and forgetting about it since I was so preoccupied with acclimating to the Great White North, haha! I LOVE GETTING PAID TO DRAW THAT BALD HEADED BITCH. >:)!! (Ask @appelsiinilight, they'll tell you)

#me myself and i #burgerrat

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juniper-pines-art · 1 year

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A Plea...

Links up front:

My GoFundMe, pls consider donating, it means the world to me

Ryo/Juni/Etc: SFW Art Streaming on Twitch.tv

I'm still having a ton of financial trouble. It's making it so difficult to get anything done, including my comm backlog... My job doesn't have any work for me atm so I haven't been able to pay bills again, and I'm postponing doctor's appointments, and am almost at the point where I'll be going without medicine for a while if I can't pay for it :C

Please consider my Gofundme. It's absolutely the most helpful, as it lets me continue doing other work. My absolute thanks for anything that goes here. Really, and truly, you're saving a life.

Sometime during the next few days I'll be doing a *lot* of art streaming. I haven't done it consistently in over a year, but I think it's about time to just start doing it again.

I'll be streaming on Twitch, completing my commission backlog while doing on-the-spot doodle commissions for $5 and up (donations and tips greatly appreciated).

3. I'll be reopening commissions once I get about 80% of my current backlog finished. I'll try to have a nice form and all together for it by then.

Thank you all, again, for all the support. You're really helping save a life. I can't stress enough how much you've helped me out this past year. Thank you, as always ;u;

#pls help #help pls #gofundme #ryo satsuma text post #text post #ryo satsuma art #art stream #twitch #commissions

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frecklystars · 1 year

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I want to say real quick, again, thank you guys so much for sending me asks. The messages just keep pouring and I cannot put into words how much it means to me, how much I need them right now. I know writing messages takes energy, and half of you don’t even know me, some of you are even saying “oh I just followed you today, I hope you feel better” and!! That’s so kind!!! I fucking love you guys. Thank you for using your time and energy, choosing to write to me. I know I’m just a stranger on the internet, but across the screens, you’re helping a real breathing person heal.

I missed so many of you, even the people I only interacted with one time, like for a commission you bought from me, or maybe you wrote a nice tag on my art, I do remember you fondly. I always remember when someone is kind to me because I didn’t grow up surrounded by kind people; when I recognize acts of kindness, I really hold onto it.

To the newcomers, welcome to my blog, and I’m so sorry you’re seeing me like this. I want to say I’m not normally in such devastated state, but I’ve felt so incredibly hopeless for such a long amount of time, I’m not quite sure how to be my old self again. I’m really hoping I can heal one day, and it feels a little bit more possible because of your support. It’s so touching that there’s so many of you who are like “oh I just found your blog today and I’m sending you so much love”. You’re seeing me in such a raw, wounded state, and yet you’re still willing to extend your positivity even though you don’t know me. It means so much.

I cannot tell you how comforting it feels to open my inbox and my dms and re-read all of these messages you’re sending me. And then I’ll refresh and suddenly there will be more. I promise you I am reading every single one of them, and I am slowly but surely answering as many as I can, even if I’m so slow at it, I’m very rusty from not speaking to almost anyone for nearly 9 months lol. Not only do I feel encouraged when you’re lifting me up like this, but spending a few minutes distracting my mind from the traumatic events by focusing on reading your words, it helps to ground me. When I feel more vulnerable to flashbacks, whether it’s just that kind of day where I wake up and the wounds are reopened, or maybe I’ve been triggered by something and my emotions are raw, I’ll try to open my inbox and read your messages again, to try to ground myself. Some of you are even worried about putting content warnings onto your asks, which is so sweet. I promise you you don’t have to do that, but that’s so incredibly nice of you to even think about that. You don’t have to worry about whether your transformers URLs are going to make me flinch, or if there’s pink profile pictures, or if you mention Starscream or Knockout or Megatron or Bee or literally whomever. Just the fact that you’re being careful with me, that’s so sweet, I can’t believe how all of you, 100% of you, have taken me seriously. None of you have made fun of me, none of you have put me down for being scared -- hell, even non-self shippers have told me they support me in my journey to reclaiming the many characters I’ve lost. I think I’ve reached over 100 messages in the last three days that I’ve returned, and all of them are nothing but kind and empathetic. I’m shocked.

I really thought I was going to be in this alone. I really didn’t expect anyone to believe me. A few of M’s close friends blocked me back when she was manipulating me, and it hurt, because I didn’t even know what I had done wrong. No explanation, I had lost a few people who I thought I was close with. And it was just more fuel for her to tell me how she would think I’m special, that she would never leave me like that. I was scared that when I’d return online, everyone would shun me, that she might be spreading rumors about me (which she is known to do). But I’ve even had FIVE PEOPLE come forward in the last two days and say “I know who you’re venting about, even though you didn’t say her name, and she hurt me too. She hurts a lot of people and I’m sorry she hurt you. Don’t let her ruin Transformers for you, it’s yours.” I felt so relieved to hear I wasn’t alone, that we’re not alone, that I’m not going crazy. Thank you guys for validating my feelings.

My ask box is always open, my dms are always open (when they’re not being glitchy lol) and none of you should ever worry about “being too overwhelming” when sending messages. You’re not tiring me out, you’re not making me feel pressured to respond. You’re all making me feel seen. You can send me 500 supportive messages and I am going to read all of them. I had no idea how much I needed support until I received it. I burst into tears the first time you guys started messaging me because I was awash with relief. You’re all really helping me get onto the path of healing and I appreciate you so much. Thank you for helping me and thank you for being patient with me as I heal.

#woof #im so scared that i cant get better. but so many of you keep insisting that i WILL get better #and man i hope you're right. i cant tell you how lonely it feels without my starlight :(#that love is still deep inside of my heart somewhere... i just dont know how to find it again #but all of you supporting me is seriously helping me so so so much #...also it's 5 in the morning and i couldnt sleep bc of a nightmare fhdhfj so. here i am #reading more messages and it helps me forget the nightmare and focus more on the Support #i was so isolated and lonely for so long. only filled with the belief that im unworthy of love #that my own comfort characters would *enjoy* hurting me #and im so shocked seeing these waves of kindness from so many of you #im not used to people being nice to me bc i spent so long being with one person who hurt me repeatedly #so each time i get a new Nice Message im like. surprised all over again #ok im gonna try to go back to sleep now bc i have a bartending shift at the theater in a few hours #im so excited! i genuinely love to bartend at the theater and i love getting to watch free shows #but i wont be able to pour any drinks if i am falling asleep at the counter sdlfjsdf #the nightmare really shook me up so i might be slow to responding when im home from work #but i will try to get back to as many as i can today. u guys are so amazing. thank you.

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tired-needs-sleep · 6 months

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80% accuracy isn't good enough

i think i'm just obsessed with your ocs @fangaminghell eheh. hope you like it

note: mild descriptors of blood; major desolation spoilers are mentioned but not outright said.

they weren't aware they had been dreaming until they stopped. their eyes flew open to see a wall. back in their room- they must have fallen asleep.

they sat up, hissing once they put too much pressure on their left arm.

right.

she huffed. now was a very inconvenient time to have their dominant arm (and hand) out of commission. they just had to get hurt. they should've predicted that it would've gone for them as well.

they sighed this time, and glanced out the window. it was still dark outside.. and very quiet.. now wasn't a bad time for something productive, right? it's not like they would be going back to sleep anytime soon..

maybe the others will actually let them do something if they see how well they're doing. if they're recovering quickly… perhaps they won't worry as much. and they wouldn't have to sit around doing nothing!

yes! they just needed to stop babying their arm.

again.

they gripped the handles of their daggers and rushed forward. before them was a moss-covered rock, their target being the edge of the moss. all they had to do was slice some of it off. the blade cut it easily, but it was too much. they hadn't cut exactly where they wanted to. too far up.

that wasn't good enough. again.

this time they went too low. struck where they previously needed to. she gritted her teeth. it had to be perfect– an inch, half of one, it could be the difference. it could be the–

the daggers breifly dissipated before becoming solid again. they shook their head. again.

this time they didn't think too hard and used their left arm. they again hissed at the pain of moving it too quickly, but when they sliced.. it was closer. still not good enough, but closer.

still, it was painful. she took a deep breath- it didn't matter. it shouldn't matter. pain or not, they will leave with their accuracy perfected. they had to.

she raised her left arm to strike again, but paused. someone else was in the cave. at this hour?

… it didn't matter.

again, and again, and again. they kept chipping away at the moss. they kept missing. they were getting there… but it was a slow process. too slow. they'd be here all day at this rate! they tightened the grip around their daggers. whatever it takes, right? whatever. it. takes. they could explain to the others later if they asked.

she regarded the moss again, picking out a section to target. they lifted their left arm, pointedly ignoring the urge to keep it stiff in favor of getting it right-

“..sara? what are you-?”

they started. their daggers dissolved into pure energy, then fizzled out of existence. she resorted to clenching their fists while they looked at whoever just broke their concentration, but their hardened gaze softened once they recognized the person.

“..asra. how long have you been here?”

“shouldn’t you already know?”

“i wasn't keeping track.”

“why? it shouldn't be this easy to sneak up on you.”

“i was focused on something else.”

asra looked at the rock behind her, then to the ground, littered with strips of moss from their earlier rounds. they pick one up.

“were you training?”

“yes.”

“you're supposed to be resting.”

“but i feel better. i can work my arm now.”

there's some silence. asra does not look impressed. “...you're bleeding again.”

she looked at the arm in question, which was indeed bleeding- it must have reopened at some point. the blood had begun to stain the ground around where they had been, but- that was good! they could work perfectly fine despite that! they could help out again.

“see? i- i didn't even notice that! you don't have to worry about me now. i can work and be perfectly fine. i just need to perfect my accuracy and-”

“sara dear, you should give it a rest for today.”

“but i’m not doing anything-”

“no buts. you can help out by resting like everyone is telling you to.”

she shook her head, turning on their heel to face the moss rock once more. “there’s no time for me to just sit around and do nothing. its not going to just wait for me to get better… and.. i could have died- you could have died. it's- it was too close. i won't let that happen again.”

asra crossed their arms. “you won't be able to do anything if you lose feeling in your arm again.”

“i have another arm.” nevermind the fact that they were now trembling. they had waited long enough, they should keep training. right arm raised in an attempt to retrieve at least one of their lost daggers from before-

asra had other plans. they gently grabbed her raised arm. “haven’t you trained enough for today?”

“no.” she again gritted her teeth, trying to break free, but they held on fast.

“have you even eaten?”

…they didn't respond to that, instead she dug their foot into the ground and used a little more of their body weight to try and escape.

“kisaragi. really? what if cande finds out?”

“he doesn't need to know.”

“yes she does.”

“..i was going to eat afterwards.”

“and when would that be? when you collapse from overworking yourself? what then?”

sara huffed. asra, unimpressed, sharply nudged the back of her knees with one of their own, too quickly for them to react. predictably, her legs gave out. she yelped, but before she knew it, asra had scooped them up.

“h-hey! what'd you do that for?! put me down!”

“you weren't going to stop. am i wrong?”

“but…”

asra started walking towards the exit. “ah-ah-ah. you're resting for the rest of the day. and yes, cande will be hearing about this.”

“no! don't tell her…”

“she'll be upset with us both if she finds out on his own.”

“but he's going to be upset and start crying or something.”

“he's worried, like the rest of us are.”

they fell silent until they had entered the tunnel leading back to the manor. asra let her down.

“did you really need to pick me up like that?” sara crossed their arms.

“if i did it normally i would have needed to let go and i wasn't going to take the risk of you doing something reckless.”

again she didn't have a retort for that, so she resorted to pouting.

“you're the worst! i hate you.”

“no you don't.”

“...no, i don't..”

asra started towards the end of the tunnel, and sara followed with a cough.

“hey…”

asra stopped.

“..thanks. f-for looking out for me, i mean.”

asra offered them a small smile. “of course, dear. what would i do without my cat of a best friend?”

“i am not a cat-”

“debatable, darling.”

#sleepy writing #oc: kisaragi🌙#sara have healthy coping mechanisms challenge failed immediately #aaaaaa obligatory hope i got their character down!!!! i tried to get a little more bold with my writing this time #not sorry for tagging you in like everything ive written it comes with the obsession with your ocs

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quietwings-fics · 6 months

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A Dark and Stormy Night

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: Major Character Death Fandom: Five Nights at Freddy's Ship: Gen (Henry & Michael, Charlie & Henry) Additional Tags: Canonical Character Death, Child Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Henry Emily-centric, Sad Ending, Sad, Heavy Angst, Parent Henry Emily, Minor William Afton | Dave Miller/Henry Emily, Regret, Tragedy, Storms Wordcount: 3069 Summary:

Henry Emily tries to protect his children. Or, did you know that the Midnight Motorist and Security Puppet minigames take place on the same night?

There was a knock on the door to Henry’s office, almost swallowed up by a clap of thunder from the storm outside. Henry sat up, feeling a grimace settle into its familiar home on his face. The man behind the knock, Richard, didn’t wait for Henry’s reply before he opened the door. He studied Henry with a frown. Richard was older than most of the other employees, the one who’d stuck with the franchise the longest, through closures and reopenings and rebrandings and rumors. He was one of the few people in the world left Henry would consider a friend, though they rarely met outside of work and Henry couldn’t even remember the name of Richard’s wife.

“He came back again, didn’t he?” Henry asked.

“About twenty minutes ago,” Richard answered. “I told him to leave.” Richard shut the door behind him and leaned back against it. “He put up less of a fight than last time.” Henry forced out a long breath. Richard was waiting, like he always did, for some kind of explanation. Henry said nothing, and so Richard continued. “William’s not who I came to talk to you about.” Henry clasped his hands tightly over his desk and held back his wince.

“What do you mean?” Panic rose in his throat, and he looked off to the wall beside his desk. An array of lights littered the wall, all glowing brightly. Superficially, they were a sign of how important the day-to-day operations were to Henry, each light reflecting a fully-functioning animatronic. His eyes rarely lingered over any of them other than the green one in the corner. He felt himself relax at the sight of its steady light. When he looked back at Richard, the man’s frown had deepened, lines deeply creasing his forehead.

“The kid snuck in again,” he answered. Henry clenched his fist and squeezed his eyes shut. “You sure he doesn’t have a key or something? I don’t know how he keeps getting in.” Richard continued. Henry shook his head.

“I wouldn’t give him a key, Richard. If he ever lost it...” Henry’s voice faltered. He ran a hand through his graying hair. “He’s ingenuitive, that’s all. He...” gets it from his father, he did not finish. “Where is he?”

“I left him in the main showroom. I don’t think he knows he’s been caught yet.” Richard said. “You want me to-”

“No,” Henry said, like he’d said so many times before. “I’ll deal with him.” He pushed himself away from his desk, leaving his paperwork with a half-scrawled signature. With one last look at the green light on the wall, he left his office.

The showtunes echoing through the restaurant made his head hurt. He’d have to commission a few new songs soon before the repetition drove him and the rest of his employees insane. The thought of spending a few nights reprogramming the animatronic show routines only made his headache worse, but it wasn’t like there was anyone else who could do the job anymore. He slid his glasses down to pinch the bridge of his nose before glancing around the main room. On the dance floor below the stage, he caught sight of Charlotte giggling and surrounded by other children, and that managed to bring a slight smile to his face. He looked around again and saw the boy he was looking for at last. He made his way over to him.

“Michael,” he greeted. The teenager jumped, head jerking up towards him before he relaxed when all he saw was Henry standing there. Henry searched for something to ask, but the questions all felt brittle on his tongue. There was no wonder how Richard had spotted Michael so quickly. He stood out in a crowd of rambunctious children and tired adults, the lone teenager still hanging around Fredbear Jr’s Pizza. With his brown hair and blue eyes, he was the spitting image of his father at that age. The memory of that younger William was fuzzy, half-forgotten, and the realization made Henry feel his years around his neck like a noose. “Michael, what are you doing here?” He finally asked. Michael crossed his arms.

“Because you won’t let Dad come here anymore,” he finally answered. Thunder boomed again outside the restaurant, the sky heaving another flood on top of them. The lights above them dimmed slightly and came back. Henry rubbed his mouth and sighed.

“Come back to my office with me. We’ll talk.” Michael nodded, relief clear on his face as he realized he wasn’t being thrown out. Henry never turned him out, not once, but Michael still felt the need to break in, to hide in the evening crowd as best he could. As they walked, Henry glanced over his shoulder again, catching a glimpse of his daughter darting off towards the prize corner, the huge gift box sitting inert, secure in the safety of the child it was built to protect. Her green armband was visible from across the room. Henry had been debating changing the color, though the original function would remain the same. She stood out too much, marked as the owner’s daughter. She’d told him the other children got jealous.

A worry for another day, he told himself. For now, he led Michael back to his office, where the music and the laughter were drowned out by the thicker walls. Henry would never get any work done otherwise. He felt the brief urge to hug Michael once the door was shut behind them. It’d been a few months since he’d last seen him. Children grew too much, too fast, but more than anything, Henry was grateful Michael had been given the time to grow at all. He settled for one quick pat on the shoulder before sitting at his desk. Michael shifted awkwardly until Henry gestured to a couch against the wall opposite the lights. It was small and uncomfortable, but Michael wasn’t an employee up for quarterly review and Henry would feel strange making him sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

After all, Michael was-

Henry tried and failed to attach a word to the boy that didn’t feel either cold or presumptuous.

There was a time, years ago, when Michael had been family.

At least he could say that with certainty.

“Do you want anything? Water?” Henry asked. Michael shook his head. Henry picked up the pen on his desk and clicked it. He tried to read any of the paperwork he’d been doing earlier, but the words didn’t translate into meaning. He clicked the pen again. “Have you seen your father today?” The questions made Michael try to shrink in on himself. It didn’t work as well now as it had when he was twelve, when all he did after... the accident was make himself as small as possible.

“No,” he said. There was a pause before he continued, “I heard him. He was yelling at Mom. I was in my room, and I locked the door.” Henry’s brow furrowed.

“Then how did you-”

“I broke my window.” Michael was staring at his shoes.

“Are you hurt?” Henry asked, alarmed. Michael’s eyes darted up momentarily. He shook his head again. “Michael, if... If you’re scared that your father might... Do something to you, or to your mother, you know you can come to me for help.” Michael nodded again, not looking up. “I’d do anything to protect you, you know that, right?” He had to restrain himself from saying you kids. Michael was the only child of William’s left, and hadn’t Henry failed once already? If he’d just looked over those blueprints closer, if he’d known what that damned robot was programmed to do...

He’d felt like an intruder in the world of William’s grief. He’d let the man throw himself into his work, into his creations, without thinking that his intent with making them might have changed. And how could he have known? Even if he had read all of William’s almost illegible scrawlings about a life after death, about just needing to test it, swearing that Evan was still here, would he really have presumed anything other than that the man had lost his mind the same day he’d lost his second son? If he’d looked at the designs, poured over them for hours and hours, would he ever have believed that his partner could actually build such a thing?

Henry had turned a blind eye, and now there was only one child left to hide in his office from William’s rage.

Outside his window, the thunder growled with contempt.

“I’m not going back home, Uncle Henry,” Michael said.

“What?”

“I’m running away. I came to say goodbye.”

“Michael, you can’t-” Henry stopped himself. There was so much fear in Michael’s eyes when he spoke, and he could almost hear the boy at twelve, at thirteen, fifteen, showing up at his doorstep or in one of their restaurants and begging Henry not to tell his father where he was, to just let him spend one night. “How old are you?” Henry asked instead. Michael screwed up his face and lied.

“Seventeen.”

“Sixteen,” Henry corrected, softly. “Your birthday is next month.” Michael curled in on himself again.

“I won’t go back,” he said. Please don’t make me go back, Henry heard.

Henry leaned back in his chair, his eyes drifting to the wall of lights. The green light flickered momentarily but shone again seconds later. The storm, he reasoned, only the storm affecting the power, but the jolt from watching it darken for even a moment was all the push he needed. He unlocked a drawer on his desk. Michael’s eyes grew wide as Henry pulled out stack after stack of bills. Six hundred in total in his desk’s emergency fund, tucked in among old photos. He handed all of it over to Michael. Michael looked like he was in shock. Henry could see the tears begin to well up in his eyes, only for Michael to quickly scrub at his face and pretend they’d never been there to begin with.

“You should lay down. Get some rest.” Michael clearly hadn’t been getting any at home, or so the dark circles under his eyes told Henry. “When we close up the restaurant for the day, I’ll drive you to the bus station, and you can catch the last bus out to wherever you want to go.” Henry hesitated. “Where do you want to go?”

“Away,” Michael answered. Henry hadn’t really expected anything else.

“Okay,” he said, sitting back down at his desk and trying to look at his paperwork. He had a terrible feeling swelling up in the pit of his stomach as he watched Michael try to find some sort of comfy position to lay down on the couch. He wished he had a blanket or something to offer. Instead, he looked at his paperwork without reading it. After a few minutes, he gave up again and reopened the drawer he hadn’t locked back up. There was no more money left, but the photos were still all stuffed in there. He hadn’t looked at them in years, it felt like.

The first was of the establishing of the new Fredbear’s Family Diner. The sun was bright in the sky, shining down on four people. Henry held up the ceremonial ribbon tied in front of the door, and William was poised to cut it a moment after the camera snapped. A few feet away, their wives looked on. Ava was still pregnant with Charlotte in that picture. In a few months, he’d finally hold his baby girl, but Charlotte would grow up without a mother. Henry could hardly remember that time after Ava died, only that William and Marie had been there, named godparents without hesitation. They’d half-raised Charlotte when he couldn’t.

The next picture, of him and William only, with the first prototype of the springlock suits. William’s hand was bandaged from a malfunction. He’d still had the scar, last Henry had seen him. Henry knew that scar well. He’d watched William’s hands at work for so many long nights on their animatronics. Nights on end where neither of them returned home, Marie with her own three children to watch at home, Charlotte with a nanny, and they’d work like the rest of the world didn’t exist. And things happened between two people when they spent time like that together, things they didn’t talk about in the daylight when it was bright enough to see their wedding rings. So, yes, Henry knew that scar well, from the sight of it or the texture of it under a kiss.

The next picture he withdrew with under another rumble of thunder, the storm seeking attention he couldn’t give at the moment. He traced the folded lines of this picture of four children: Charlotte, four, Evan, seven, Elizabeth, nine, Michael, eleven. This one he used to carry with him in his wallet. He remembered taking it out to show people his daughter, and they’d always look surprised at the sight of four children all squeezed into one booth before he clarified that only one was his, even if he’d planned most of their birthday parties and taught Evan to tie his shoes and driven Elizabeth to her dance recital one night when William and Marie were taking care of a sick Michael. Charlotte, he’d point out, here, this one is mine. He could have used a different picture, one with only her in it. He never did.

He went to pull out another picture when the storm let out a terrible roar that made the whole building shake. Michael, who’d been dozing off as Henry reminisced, jumped to his feet. The power went dead, and Henry shot up from his desk as well, shoving the last picture in his pocket. It was only a dozen seconds, a dozen two long, and his heart raced as he fumbled in his desk for a flashlight in case the power didn’t come back. When it did, weakly flickering back to full strength, he leaned heavily on the wooden desk and breathed.

He looked over to the wall of lights. All bright.

All bright except the only one he needed to see.

Come back, he demanded, the power is on, come back!

There was no green light.

“Michael, stay here,” he said. The boy looked concerned.

“Why-”

“Stay here!” Henry snapped, louder than he meant to. Michael flinched and nodded.

Henry all but ran out of his office. He found Richard first, pulled him aside and said in a hurried whisper, “Have you seen Charlotte?” Richard frowned.

“She was-” He glanced over at the prize corner. Henry felt his heart drop into his stomach. The giant gift box was open. “What the hell? Where’s the puppet thing?” Richard asked, confused.

“Marionette,” Henry corrected distantly. “It’s a marionette.” He didn’t feel like he was in control of his body as he rushed over to the prize corner. There was an exit door there, marked as a fire escape only. He shoved it open and was pelted with rain. It didn’t stop him from going outside. He could barely see through the torrential downpour. The door behind him didn’t slam shut immediately, Richard following him outside. “Charlie!” Henry screamed. It only took Richard hearing the tone of his voice for the other man to finally pick up on what exactly had Henry so freaked out.

They both shouted for her, but the rain and the thunder was drowning them both out. Henry pushed forward through the rain around the building. He called for his daughter again. “Charlie!” Henry called for his child. No one answered him. A car drove past him, and in his fear, he couldn’t tell if he recognized it or not. He stumbled into the alley behind the restaurant, calling out again, nearly bumping into one of the many trash cans. There was something lying in the alley, barely visible in the rain and darkness, but part of him could only feel relief as he realized it was too big to be his daughter. He went to check it anyway, in case it was someone else hurt, but what he touched instead of clothing or a person’s skin was familiar fabric and cold metal.

He tore his hand back. The marionette lay broken and useless. He was close enough now to see why, what it had curled itself around. He knelt on the ground.

Richard’s voice came from behind him, horrified.

“Get help!” Henry heard himself scream.

He shoved the mangled heap of the marionette away. He held his daughter.

“Call someone! Get help!” He screamed again. He didn’t know if Richard was still there.

The rain made it so hard to hear. He couldn’t tell if she was breathing.

Henry looked up and saw William standing behind him.

“Charlie?” said William, in a young voice that sounded nothing like William’s. “Uncle Henry, what-”

“I told you not to come here!” Henry shouted over the thunder. “Why did you do this?!” William took a step back. His face contorted, and Henry’s vision was too blurry to tell if it was horror or a wicked smile. Part of him still protested that William wouldn’t, couldn’t.

But notes in his frantic handwriting seared through Henry’s mind. Just one child, he’d written, to test it, I only need one. Charlotte wasn’t moving.

William was gone. Henry was soaked with rain, but it didn’t wash the rest of the stains on his clothing away. He could hear footsteps behind him.

“There’s an ambulance on its way.” Richard said. “Where’s the kid going?”

“The kid?” He was holding his daughter. She wasn’t moving. She wasn’t breathing.

“Michael.” Richard said. “I saw him run off.”

Henry choked. “Oh, God. Michael.” He looked back wildly and could see nothing past a dozen feet. “Michael!” He called for his child. No one answered him. Beside him, a fallen photograph, so heavily damaged by the rain now that he could barely make out the contents, just the vague outline of Charlotte on her third birthday, laughing and being held aloft by her godfather. The sky tore itself open again, and in the corner of Henry’s eye, lightning above lit up the tear-stained mask of the marionette, its eyes dragged free of its sockets, one arm outstretched towards him.

(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)

#fanfiction #teen and up audiences #1001-5000 #fnaf #michael afton #henry emily #charlie emily #genfic #henry & michael #charlie & henry

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drfoxweyman · 9 months

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State of personal affairs (IMPORTANT)

(TL;DR will be towards the bottom for those who don’t wanna read my ramblings, but I’d prefer you did since this is important.) Hey everyone, hope you’re all doing well, I’ll cut to the point by saying that I am not. For the past… We’ll say couple of months I’ve been on something of a mental health spiral, and it hasn’t really gotten any better save for my time at the Con. Which was a nice, but very brief reprieve. The whys of this dip in my well being are pretty varied, and some of it I’m not really able to talk about, whether for personal reasons or respect for others. But to put it broadly, work has been stressful, home has been stressful, my health has been stressful, everything has been stressful, and as it stands I don’t think I can keep up with things right now. So I’m taking a small break from working on commissions, and allowing myself a bit more breathing room when it comes to my streams (which is to say the next few streams may be much smaller scale, more chill chatting streams.)

Now before any of you who commissioned me recently panic: With my current comms I will still be updating you guys, just at a slower rate than normal, I don’t intend to leave you guys in the lurch. But if by the time I’m done with them I still feel this bad, I probably won’t reopen my queue like I’ve been doing nonstop for the past while now. At least if I can financially help it… Streams like I said are gonna be a bit more lax. I’ll probably finish Pinkie Tower, but after that? I dunno, chatting and maybe some light doodling. Dunno how this will affect Sinner’s Saturday since some kind of income would be nice, but this week we’re definitely doing something different, just have to figure out what. And yes, I still owe you guys that Discord movie night, we’ll be doing that soon. As for how long this time off is gonna be? No clue, it might only be a few days honestly, but the longest I’m giving myself is two weeks cause I just can’t afford any longer than that. And speaking of “affording”, it’s time for literally my least favourite part of the job. The shilling™️. I probably won’t really be making much if any money during this period, so if you ever wanted to support my work with a nice tip. Now would be the time. You have no idea how much even a small tip of a few dollars can help.https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman I’m not gonna sugar coat this folks. I make peanuts on my work. That’s no one’s fault, it's just the nature of being both a small artist and streamer, it’s something I’ve come to peace with as a fact of my career choices. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t stress me out. Part of why I can never usually take breaks at all is because I literally can’t afford to.

I have rent to pay, phone bills, internet, electricity bills, hormone pills, pet expenses including; food, potential vet visits, toys, poo bags, cat litter, etc. I have to have money saved up incase of an emergency whether personal or work related (computer parts need replacing, tablet needs replacing etc), then there's house expenses; food, toilet paper, cleaning supplies; replacing anything we need etc. It’s a lot, even with our packed house.

The only reason I'm able to go to Furnal Equinox or Canfurence is because I start saving up money month after month after month as a treat to myself, and even when there I tend to bring my work so I can get my commission queue done faster and reopen them again as soon as the con is done.

I’ve been told to raise my prices but let’s be honest, I’m not at the level where I can charge hundreds upon hundreds of dollars for pieces, and while this may be a pessimistic view of my work, I probably won’t be able to any time soon. Same with stream goals, I don’t feel like there’s much I can offer right now that would be worth $500 goals or something.

I’d open a merch shop or something but that would be even more stressful upkeep, and again let’s be real. My reach isn’t big enough for that and you can only sell the same merch to the same customer base for so long.

I apologize if it seems like I’m ragging on about the money, but of all the things I’m dealing with it’s the easiest to talk about because it’s something I think at least a few of you can relate to. That and the more personal troubles cut a bit deeper and I’m not sure I even really wanna talk about them because I don’t like dragging you guys down with me. We’ve made an awesome little community and I don’t need to be hurting you with my problems. Is that the healthiest way of looking at it? No probably not but there it is.

Above all that though I just want some more time to myself and the people I care about, not fretting every second that “I could be working” or “I could be monetizing this”, instead of focusing on improving my mental health so I can be a better creator for you guys, and a better person for me. I wanna draw for myself again,even if it’s just low stakes doodles or barely cohesive comic pages, or hell even just to work on my poor draftwomanship .I wanna let myself play some games and not think “Oh I have to stream this”, every time I do. I wanna be able to go out with my loved ones and not constantly be thinking “WHY AM I NOT WORKING ON COMMISSIONS???”

So TL;DR taking a light break, not sure how long exactly, will keep current customers in the loop, streams aren’t going anywhere but may be a bit different, please tip to the ko-fi so I can stay afloat during this time https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman

For those that read through, thank you so much, it means the world that you care enough about my mental health to drudge through my ravings. You’re truly the best part of this job. A wonderful community that I can just chat and be honest with, I can laugh and joke with you all without fear or anxiety. That’s exceedingly rare these days and I couldn’t be more appreciative of you lot.

That in mind, this took awhile to write, my hands are hurting, and I wanna go lie down, maybe allow myself a good cry. Thanks everyone. <3

- Blaire,“Drfoxweyman”

#real life #irl #important #text psot #long #rambling #art #artist #streamer #support #kofi #ko fi support #mental health

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rescuefield-arch1 · 10 months

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one thing that doesn't really make sense to me ( or better it does but also seems dumb to point out ) is that claire is blamed for... offering aid in the aftermath of bioterrorism instead of preventing it. but the thing is that it seems at first terrasave was born after the tragedy of raccoon city with the aim to uncover the dirt that the governments ( mainly the us ) and corporations ( mainly umbrella ) were hiding, and that's it. i genuinely believe that before becoming THE designated ngo for these sort of events, the whole thing was really just a group of nerds putting in their time and skills to investigate into what went wrong with RC.

then things kept getting worse and their voice becomes louder, terragrigia panic probably elevates them and turns that group into a real organisation because by that time there's more people siding with them, willing to help. they're new but they got the support of professionals from all over the world and hence it gives them enough credibility to be backed up at harvardville, have doors opened for what concerns monitoring the development of vaccines / drugs and whatnot. but as i said they're new, they put their trust into professionals and end up with curtis miller becoming a problem for their image. and then it turns out that was the tip of the iceberg and there were even bigger problems because of the vaccine distribution and whose fault it was for that outbreak in india.

( keep in mind this is 2005, neil joined around this time much to everybody's disappointment )

now, from what we see once the harvardville situation is cleared out the gen pop's opinion of terrasave remains positive - claire lowkey ditches leon to go to the protests that are still happening so at least about that we know that they're still demanding for ron davis to not be an asshole ( because beside having beef with claire specifically he also did a whole lot of heinous things ). now why am i mentioning this guy? he was involved with tricell. FOLLOW ME ON THIS ONE. a year later we see that terrasave has branched out in penamstan, where allegedly they're dealing with war related issues and it seems like nobody is aware that there's been an outbreak until claire sees the drawing.

the thing is, i think that once they got bigger terrasave forgot their initial aim and went a little political despite not wanting to be involved with any government. the way they are portrayed in infinite darkness is very white saviour-y too, which i believe despite their good intentions it's true ( look at that god awful commercial from 2011 ). unless she went back after getting her projects approved by potus, claire ends up spending more time in DC than in penamstan and is once again involved with a senator who is working with tricell. this is 2006.

i mentioned our beloved ( ... ) neil earlier in this wall of text and i believe in the end he is the missing piece ( shocking i know ) to understand what is going on. fbc gets dismantled in 2004 after an investigation that led to lansdale being arrested for the terragrigia outbreak and passing the torch to neil. now, we don't know for how long he's been the director of terrasave, but we do know that once again they saw a professional and decided he was their best shot ( wrong... again ).

neil is interested on getting info from claire about a new virus spreading, to which claire simply says that tricell is dead and gone, there's nothing to worry about ( she's a liar and a girlboss but since infinite darkness wasn't even a thought yet i will give her benefit of doubt ). as we know neil already knows about uroboros AND a new virus because of his involvement with alex w. but the thing is... neil was planning to bring back the fbc in the same way lansdale thought he was giving the organisation such a good name - create outbreaks and go on and on about how they need that commission to be reopened. ( ALSO, as moira / movemnt made me notice, alex has a tricell box in her lab. what a coincidence !! )

funny story, lansdale engineered the t-abyss virus, and through death island we find out that terrasave has chips inside orcas to monitor them... which apparently claire is not aware of since she doesn't comment anything about the guy who called her being perplexed, she just says that they deal with bioterrorism WHICH OF COURSE HE FINDS WEIRD because it's just an orca bitten by a shark. but dylan has all kinds of aquatic monsters lurking around alcatraz and he must have taken inspiration from somewhere right? in fact he was connected to arias, who was connected to the black market and pretty much took tricell's place what concerns sales, and on and on we go.

dylan straight up tells claire that she's out there handing over bandages instead of stopping outbreaks, that she essentially sits back and watches as shit hits the fan instead of stopping it. so this leaves a question. what kind of dirt is still lurking at terrasave hqs? because neil has been dead since 2011, we could assume that things have been fixed and instead there might be a chance that there's still so much clean up to do. bottom line is... tricell is probably still around in some capacity, someone at terrasave is carrying on what neil was trying to finish and possibly cooperating with the next bad guy, and once again claire has absolutely no idea of all that.

#𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎 𝙇𝙊𝙎𝙏 𝙄𝙉 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁𝙄𝙍𝙀 ⎯ dev #i wanted to write a whole other thing instead somehow i ended up inventing a whole backstory for mf terrasave 😭#this post took me hours i could have used for drafts lmao it's so embarrassing #tw long post

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celerydays · 4 months

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☁️ 2024 Artist Resolutions ☁️

Happy New Year, everyone! 🌻

Just sharing my annual artist resolutions (this is my 3rd year doing this, I think?):

colors & palettes: I would like to try and experiment more with color, including probably (re-)teaching myself color theory (and actually trying to understand it this time lol), working with more mindful color choices like limited palettes and overall trying to use color to make more visually interesting pieces.

video content: I actually really like the process filming and editing little progress/behind-the-scenes videos, but I didn't do much of that at all this year. I'd honestly like to go back to doing some of that again! Also I had a brief stint of streaming art on Twitch around this time a year ago and haven't gone back to it...still on the fence but I may revisit that as well this year.

comics: I've always enjoyed drawing silly little daily life comics and would like to continue with that, but 2023 made me realize how much I also enjoy creating more long-form webtoon and comic book-like pieces as well! I definitely want to explore and expand more upon that in 2024~

composition: I've been very lazy about composition! Going back to wanting to use color to create more visually interesting pieces, I'd also like to focus more on composition to do the same as well.

(soft) freelance: I used to have an online shop that I shut down almost 3 years ago now...I don't know what I feel brave enough to tackle this year in terms of being an independent artist outside of my day job; whether that's commissions, ko-fi/patreon, product design for a shop reopening or tabling at conventions, but I hope I'll figure it out and get over my hesitations about it...soon.

sketching & journaling: I really super-mega-absolutely neglected sketching and journaling for the entirety of 2023 which TRULY HURTS MY JOURNAL-LOVING HEART. I want to try some things to find a new system of sketch-journaling that fits my time and lifestyle better these days so I can incorporate that back into my life.

My previous artist resolutions from 2023 and 2022~

I think I only really got to two goals from my 2023 list; drawing more backgrounds and entering my 'villain era' by drawing more selfishly (though I'll be honest: I didn't expect that to manifest the way it did when I had written it out, but yeah okay, smutty art it is I suppose lmaooo)

We don't talk about 2022 lol.

Hope everyone is having a great start to the new year~ Relax! Rest! Recharge! And may we achieve all (or at least most of) our goals we're hoping to in 2024 💗

#lost track of time and basically missed midnight last night #ended up ringing in the new year while in the shower lmaooo #started off the year squeaky clean tho!#artists on tumblr #artist resolutions #art goals #illustrators on tumblr #digital sketch #digital sketchbook #celdraws #just celery things #celerydays

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charbon-et-eau · 7 months

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Small update, I guess.

I've been tired and sad and haven't drawn much lately. Not sure how long this art drought will last. I already went into this in more detail on aethy, but I may have burnt myself out on volokari, so it may be a while before I have the desire to work on vlkr stuff again.

I also have no idea if or when I will open an online shop or reopen commissions, so I'm sorry about that.

However, I have been hit with some random Steven/Brendan (Pokémon) brainworms, so there's that. I've only managed a few sketches, and idk if anyone here is into that, so I wasn't sure if I should bother sharing them here. But I can if you guys want to see! Most of them are spicy, but I think some of the spicy ones are tumblr safe.

#update

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askbeannuts · 7 months

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Moe quickly sat the book down on the table. "I didn't know this was that important, I didn't mean to-"

"Relax, it's no big deal." Carlo interrupted.

"But it is pretty much a manual for the guild." Bak further explained. "Thing is, a specific part of it was left untranslated since the Guild's founder wrote in an older script."

"Right... I saw that, it's been a while since I've seen that script..." Moe's muttering caught the Guildmaster's attention. "I... think my mom tried to teach me how to read some scripts and runes... I think this was one of them..."

"Can you tell what it says?" Carlo wondered, brow raised.

"Well..." Moe reopened the book to that ominous image. "Bits and pieces... that picture's words aren't too difficult if I try to make guesses at what I don't know..." He focused on the words specifically, falling silent for a few minutes. "... Taking a shot in the dark: 'The Black... Dungeon... Wind' maybe?" The two Guildmasters didn't say a word at first, while Moe's focus seemed to wain. "But... if I had a reference book-"

"I think the Researchers might have that..." Bak chimed in, Carlo shaking his head.

"Thing is, with Felix out of commission still, they're not going to just lend something like that out..." The two hummed in thought, though their pondering was interrupted by Moe's yawning, shifting the duo's focus entirely. "Hah..."

"The founder refused to have that page translated... if I remember all the excuses it was something about trauma, even my seniors refused to make the request to get it done..." Carlo heaved a large sigh. "If things didn't get so hectic, I would've asked Hellen to do it for me before she retired... that's her kid, right?"

"Yeah, it is... but what would that-"

"The wind, if his translation was right, the wind." The Semisage's smile didn't fade as he continued. "Maybe it'll be a clue to these Shifts... the howling especially..." Bak didn't entertain his senior's theories, merely staying silent. "I won't make him do it, and I won't ask you to make him... let Moe stumble across it himself... we've left the seed of curiosity after all, heheh..."

"Yeah, I get that, that's not what's bothering me. Moe's pretty straightforward when something motivates him..." Carlo patted the Typhlosion's shoulder.

"I want to know what really happened to South Town too-something never added up to me-but this is a simpler mystery to solve... with what attacked us over the last few weeks... we're going to need to understand more before we really tackle that." Through clenched teeth, Bak sighed.

"You're right, Carlo." The Semisage chuckled.

"Now YOU get some sleep-"

"Nah, I have to figure some things out before the Council starts acting out again..."

[End of Side Story: The Founder's Book: Shaymin Guild!]

#The Founder's Book: Shaymin Guild #long post #MoeYungoos #BakTyphlosion #CarloSemisage

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echonidae · 1 year

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a buncha headshot portraits! three out of five portraits, i'm finishing up the last two c: the sketches here are from way back in august/september, and i fiddled with them for some weeks on end trying to make Something out of them, then proceeded to frustratedly shelf the lot of them away. so it's nice to see at least these three all finished up now :') and they were really nice to work on too ;v;

but ohoho okay, this is a lot of announcements in one single post, so bear with me a moment :3c here's a tl;dr first: 1) headshot portraits as a new commission option maybe? :0ccc 2) commissions are opening again on monday, jan. 23rd! 3) separate commission info webpage for reading convenience (particularly for folks on mobile) 4) commission rules changes: payment in full & upfront, rather than half-and-half 5) two-slots-per-person rule will be no more and folks are free to send as many orders as they want, but any ones after the second will go into the queue instead 6) also a small change with unoccupied queue slots

the rest is under the readmore :')

so, i've been thinking about adding this sort of portrait as a commission option!! fairly simple compositions but fully rendered (because i darn love painting so much; cellshading is nice and all, but coloring it all in one layer is just... heart-eyes), on the big 2600px to 3800px canvases as well c: and i'm thinking of pricing commissions like these at 28 USD (feels like a good price but i'm accepting feedback on that — the point was to add something that's just straight up fully-rendered, but for the lower end of the pricetable, and the limitations of a headshot portrait feel fitting enough on both sides ;v; )

also portraits like these are fairly quick to draw, so the turnaround time would be fairly short! add to it that 1) these are fun, 2) i could use focusing on just the face and expressions rather than elaborate poses and all, 3) portraiture lighting my beloved, and 4) these are painted, and don't take forever to figure out or paint. :D but yeah, let me know what you think of the headshot portrait option!! would you folks be interested in something like this? :0c

and now hold on a moment, i have more things to say!! xD

commissions are reopening monday, jan. 23rd, at the usual 5pm BRT (UTC -3:00)!

6 active slots (previously known as regular slots; can't believe it's taken me years to figure out a better way of calling these orz), as well as another 24 slots on queue. these will remain open until further notice; money's tight right now, hence the lack of closing date :')

there should be plenty of slots either way tho, so no rush at all! but i apologize for the super short notice orz

also, i went and got all the commission info on a separate webpage on wix instead. here you go!

should be easier to access and read through stuff, particularly on mobile — or at least i sincerely hope it is, please leave me feedback if you can!!! let me know if you encounter Problems, i've looked and combed through every bit of these four (4) pages but i might have missed stuff still, pretty please let me know if you run into any Issues! ;-;

but yeah, the website has all the rules and info and all the different options as well, with extra examples and all. on monday, you'll also be able place orders directly through there, i made a little form and all c': technically the form is already there but pls don't send requests yet, i can't reserve slots ahead of time!

also also, and these are the last things i've got to say, i promise (and thank you if you've read this far!),

a couple commission rules are changing!

1) from this new batch onwards, i'll be charging commissions in full & upfront instead of the half-half system i'd been doing up until this point. the exception is if an order exceeds $80 USD; for those ones we'll return to the half-before-sketch + half-once-finished situation instead!

but how's that? :0c i hope this is alright, but please let me know if this would make commissions just... unaffordable ;o; i do really like the half-half system, and i'd rather keep it, but it's either this or raising prices, and i don't think i can do that yet :T either way, please let me know your thoughts on the matter!!

2) the only-two-slots-per-person rule will no longer be in effect, so go ham with multiple orders if you wish on monday — the caveat is that i'll still be working only on two orders at a time per person, so if you order three things, the third one will be placed at the end of the queue c:

looking back i could've... done this from the beginning. orz it should be more convenient to send multiple orders if you have 'em!

and finally, 3) if the queue list hits its closing date with slots still available, folks who have already ordered and would like to get in the queue again can go on and grab those empty queue slots if they want, instead of being limited to two slots per person per batch, and then having to wait for an entire new batch.

i opened this exception for the last round of commissions (thank you once again to the folks who wanted repeats ;-; ) so i thought i should just make it into a proper thing instead, since it does make sense to do it anyway — the queue list is purposefully filled with a ton of slots, then left open for weeks on end to make sure everyone interested can get their orders in, so letting folks claim those remaining slots after the deadline sounds fine ;v;

that being said, there won't be a deadline for this monday's batch, so this bit technically doesn't change anything xD but i thought i should mention the New Thing #6!

and that's it! that's all!

while i'm pretty set on most of these (specially the full-upfront-payment bit — again, money's tight orz), i'm still definitely open to feedback, and to change things if something doesn't work for you folks!! please do share your thoughts on it, or send a note if you'd rather!! and let me know if you have any questions too ;v;

i apologize for the super short notice again (and for cramming all of this into a single post) orz i'll be sorting things out until 5pm on monday, and getting these last commissions posted as well c:

thank you again for reading all of this orz and please don't feel obligated to reply to all the points if you have thoughts on only a specific one, i'd rather hear a little feedback than none at all ;o;

all in all, hope at least these portraits look nice, they were fun to work on :') Oliver, Owen and Steffan (previously known as the Swordsman/the Warlock — yup he's got a name now!); i'll get the other two of Matthew and Coriander done and posted!

thanks again folks, have a nice friday! ;w;

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selamat-linting · 1 month

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if yall think that department store job is bad wait until you hear about the stock broker job i almost had.

so, i recently turned 19 at the time and was desperate for employment. there's this walk-in interview ad on the local job site. i went there, hand in my resume, and without looking at my file the HR told me im accepted for a three day training program. it should be a red flag, but i came in anyway.

our trainer is a man in a fancy suit. the first thing he said other than the over-excited greeting was thanks. thanks for not believing the naysayers who said this job is a scam.

i might be stupid, but im not stupid enough to ignore that. immediately i was hyper aware of everything this trainer was doing and saying. our first day was all motivational speeches and bombarding everyone who dared to question their scheme with noises and covert shaming so they'd get in line. the actual product we're selling, the daily operation, he either sidesteps the question or explain it in such a vague nothingburger way that you couldnt understand it. at least they gave us free lunch though.

when i get home, i began looking up the name of the company. theyre formally certified as a broker company, but its hard to find an actual job desc or the benefits. there's even accounts of costumers who felt theyre getting scammed out of the whole deal. i still came in the next day.

i dont know what i was thinking tbh. i guess there is a part of me who wished it was all a misunderstanding, or a part of me who thinks i can actually make a sale and get money despite the circumstances, and a part of me who wants to convince myself that im not a quitter. i was a mess. i went on my second day, and at least a quarter of people are gone. we did our training, this time we're taught how to trade stocks, using software we barely understand with principles we dont even get. and ofc when we get the job, the money we use for trading would be our customers' money.

during break time, they told us to get comfortable with the workers who have been there for months. i was friendly with them, but i realized they're the ones i could actually get a straight answer from. i basically cornered and made one of them to admit this is a job with no base pay, just a commission scheme. and some havent closed anything for months since the day they start working. i admit, i did it for myself, but i hope other people who enrolled in training with me heard it too.

it was then i made the decision to drop out. dont get me wrong, commission only jobs are a standard practice for a lot of sales industry, and i respect people who do the hustle. actually, i might even try it one day if (big IF here) im skilled and financially stable enough to weather the rough months. but its wrong for that company to avoid explaining that aspect especially when the job is convincing people to fund your trading business and you cant even educate your workers on the product properly! its predatory and scammy as fuck.

and for years after that sometimes i hear a story of a coworker who tried their luck. all of them failed. well, one girl i know manage to close a deal. except she got screwed by her seniors and she didnt get her earnings. one guy i know even end up drowning in debt because of that job. but then again, i dont feel sorry for him because i overheard him confessed to raping a girl at a party once so he deserved it lol!

anyway, the office of that trading company was soon shut down around 2020. i heard they got sued, or they cant pay the rent for the building, im not sure. they were closed though. and everyone who knows that place but doesnt work there, recognized they have a not so stellar reputation. however, they recently reopened under a new name. different company name, same business model. thats capitalism.

#posts about my life

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