[transcript: 1. "I feel it's my anger that has helped keep me alive,"
2. "I've polished this anger and now its a knife."
3. "If only I could sustain my anger
Feel it grow stronger and stronger
It sharpens to a point and sheds my skin
Shakes off the weight of my sins
And takes me to heaven"
4. "TELL ME WHERE TO PUT MY ANGER
TELL ME WHERE TO PUT MY ANGER
TELL ME WHERE TO PUT MY ANGER"
5. "Rage, maybe rage would lift me up, make me stand, make me walk —"
6. "Isn't all that rage so ugly?
And isn't it mine, still? Good God, isn't it mine?"/end transcript]
Audre Lorde, Sister Love: The Letters of Audre Lorde & Pat Parker // Cathy Linh Che, Go Forget Your Father // The Ballad of the Costa Concordia, Car Seat Headrest // @/rbhvleo (x) // Marlon James, Black Leopard, Red Wolf // Ashe Vernon, "Buried", Not a Girl
2K notes
·
View notes
request for something like anger issues or an anger that has no source and will not fade? like a monster inside of you that makes you angry for no reason
Sophia Lornie, Flatline
@unspokengrief (cropped)
@nipplering (via)
Caryl Churchill, Escaped Alone
Aerial East, It Doesn’t Matter
Halsey, The Lighthouse (Lyric Video)
Ashe Vernon, Buried
Dungeons and Daddies (2019–), Episode 42: Henry’s Father and the Chamber of Secrets
Lidia Yuknavitch, Letter to My Rage
Unknown (via)
Safia Elhillo, Home Is Not a Country
Anne Carson, Plainwater
554 notes
·
View notes
give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
unknown / @/apocryphics (on tumblr) / @/heartlikegold (on tumblr) / unknown / Ashe Vernon excerpt from Buried, "Not a Girl" / The Virgin Suicides (1999) dir. Sofia Coppola / unknown / Serge Ivanoff / Sally Wen Mao excerpt from Drop-kick Aria, "Mad Honey Symposium"
i. unknown
[ "A girl in the shape of a monster / A monster in the shape of a girl" ]
ii. @/apocryphics
[ Screenshot of a tumblr post by @/apocryphics. "girls will carry unimaginable primordial rage but still go about their day as if nothing is wrong and that is very sexy of us I think" ]
iii. @/heartlikegold
[ Screenshot of a tumblr post by @/heartlikegold. " 'girlhood rots between my teeth, a sickness so sweet it aches' / - SUGAR, SPICE & EVERYTHING NICE // d.s" ]
iv. unknown
[ Painting of a young girl in the process of braiding her blonde hair. She looks away from the viewer towards the right as she braids her hair towards the audience. ]
v. Ashe Vernon, Buried
[ "Isn't all that rage so ugly? And isn't it mine, still? Good god, isn't it mine?" ]
vi. Sofia Coppola, The Virgin Suicides
[ Movie screencap of The Virgin Suicides. Hanna Hall (playing Cecilia Lisbon) las on a hospital bed wearing a blue gown. The subtitles read, "Obviously, doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl." ]
vii. unknown
[ "girlhood / 1. ripped stockings, smeared red lipstick, stolen lilac branches in our hands, scrapes from tree-climbing stinging our knees. a laughing moon to guide us home. the wild, wicked stars. the crimson fires of our heartbeats burning. so many secrets we keep like knives between our teeth. / 2. i'm made of fairydust and that moment of silence right before the thunderstruck sky breaks open with rain. i'm a breathing, bleeding body. i'm a breathing, bleeding soul. / 3. what prayers do we say when we think god isn't listening?" ]
viii. Serge Ivanoff
[ Cropped image of a painting by Serge Ivanoff . A woman stands in a room wearing a light pink dress. She folds her hands in front of her as she poses. ]
ix. Sally Wen Mao, Drop-kick Aria
[ Screenshot of a tumblr post by @/lifeinpoetry. "If i could do girlhood again, I'd ask / to be scarier. Less whimpering-more pyromanic / urges, more flirting with kerosene." ]
448 notes
·
View notes
[POEM] PROFANE by Ashe Vernon
- translated in french; for my once-lover
The first time he calls you holy,
La première fois qu'il te dit saint(e),
you laugh it back so hard your sides hurt.
tu ris si fort que tes côtes te font mal.
The second time,
La seconde fois,
you moan gospel around his fingers
tu gémis du gospel autour de ses doigts
between your teeth.
entre tes dents.
He has always surprised
Il t'as toujours surpris(e)
you into surprising yourself.
en te faisant te surprendre toi-même.
Because he’s an angel hiding his halo
Car il est un ange cachant son auréole
behind his back and
derrière son dos et
nothing has ever felt so filthy
rien n'a jamais été aussi sale
as plucking the wings from his shoulders—
que cueillir les ailes de ses épaules—
undressing his softness
déshabiller sa douceur
one feather at a time.
une plume à la fois.
God, if you’re out there,
Dieu, si tu es là,
if you’re listening,
si tu écoutes,
he fucks like a seraphim,
il baise comme un séraphin,
and there’s no part of scripture
et il n'y a aucune écriture
that ever prepared you for his hands.
qui t'ai jamais préparé à ses mains.
Hands that map a communion
Des mains qui dessinent une communion
in the cradle of your hips.
dans le berceau de tes hanches.
Hands that kiss hymns up your sides.
Des mains qui embrassent des hymnes sur tes côtes.
He confesses how long he’s looked
Il confesse combien de temps il a cherché
for a place to worship and,
un endroit pour vénérer et,
oh,
oh,
you put him on his knees.
tu le mets à genoux.
When he sinks to the floor and moans
Quand il glisse au sol et gémis
like he can’t help himself,
comme si il ne pouvait s'en empêcher,
you wonder if the other angels
tu te demandes si les autres anges
fell so sweet.
sont tombé si doucement.
He says his prayers between your thighs
Il dit ses prières entre tes cuisses
and you dig your heels into the base of his spine
et tu enfonce tes chevilles à la base de son dos
until he blushes the color of your filthy tongue.
jusqu'à ce qu'il rougisse de la couleur de ta langue sale.
You will ruin him and he will thank you;
Tu le détruira et il te remerciera;
he will say please.
il dira s'il te plaît.
No damnation ever looked as cozy as this,
Aucune damnation n'a jamais eu l'air aussi comfortable que cela,
but you fit over his hips like they
mais tu tiens sur ses hanches comme si elles
were made for you.
étaient faites pour toi.
You fit, you fit, you fit.
Tu tiens, tu tiens, tu tiens.
On top of him, you are an ancient god
Au dessus de lui, tu es un ancien dieu
that only he remembers and he
dont il est le seul à se souvenir et il
offers up his skin.
t'offre sa peau.
And you take it.
Et tu la prends.
Who knew sacrifice was so profane?
Qui aurait su qu'un sacrifice était si profane?
And once you’ve taught him how to hold
Et quand tu lui auras appris comment tenir
your throat in one hand
ta gorge dans une main
and your heart in the other,
et ton cœur dans l'autre,
you will have forgotten every other word,
tu auras oublié tous les autres mots,
except his name.
excepté son nom.
27 notes
·
View notes