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brakken-spideyverse · 2 years

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Alrighty - the final review (for now!)

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Y’all. What a ride.

I am very, very happy with this movie.

For starters, this is probably the MCU’s connectedness working at the best it ever has. It is decidedly a Spider-Man story while not shying away from the broader pieces of the world. The MCU doesn’t feel invasive, nor does it feel brushed aside or excused. When Peter’s eyes glance up at the little wizard decoration, I just found myself giddily appreciating that yes - this is how it should work; something needs solving in a certain way, so you seek out the Marvel character that can solve it.

In my thoughts about FFH, I talked about how its ending made it feel like the first part of a larger story. While this movie doesn’t fix that feeling, I do think it kicks us off by fulfilling itself as ‘part 2’. The opening is an inescapable domino of consequences which upend Peter’s life, while also feeling like a step forward, rather than reversing development like I was concerned about. I think this film benefits a great deal from not having an Avengers movie wedged in before it, throwing character motivations into question, or making it serve as the fallout of some larger event.

Another thing it solves from FFH is removing all the goofy side characters. There just isn’t space for them in the movie, allowing all the humour to come from Peter and his close friends, which is where our focus should be. I do sort of wish Flash got to be more involved in a meaningful way, though – and now it feels like they’ve missed their chance to give him something more interesting to do.

Peter’s trying so hard to make everything work. I really felt that struggle between taking responsibility and feeling responsible, here. And we have the adults in his life giving him advice – trying to help in their own ways but offering him conflicting messages.

I found his relationship with MJ to evolve nicely. There was a charming simplicity to it in FFH, which progresses into something deeper as these events play out, and it feels like they’ve finally found a footing with this version of MJ. Glad we got a ‘Watson’ name drop, too.

I wasn’t big on Doctor Strange in his first movie, nor his cameo in Thor. I found he was pretty strong in Infinity War, but here I was really able to enjoy his presence. He didn’t feel caricatured like Tony in Homecoming, and he didn’t overstay his welcome. I was concerned that the fumbling of the spell would be too easily turned into Peter screwing things up, but it was nice that some of the blame lay on Strange, too. I was not expecting to get emotional during the finale, when Strange implies that he cares about Peter. And I was also not expecting a fight between them – but again, the MCU working as intended. A great sequence.

I’m glad May was brought into the story in a big way. With how this series came about, with the absence of Uncle Ben as a piece of Peter’s life, this felt like the right way of bringing in the iconic line. And it was the full thing. “With great power, there must also come great responsibility.’ An important part that often gets left out.

Okay, let’s get into the villains.

The Green Goblin – terrifying. Here’s Willem Dafoe, eating up the screen and proving he can still bring it as this character, and cementing himself as the best superhero movie villain of all time for me. Modern fight choreography and effects remind us just how strong the Goblin is as he brutalizes Peter. Design-wise, I think they missed the opportunity for him to don his broken mask for the finale – would have completed the half-ragged look. And despite him being one of the absolute highlights of the film for me, I also feel like they may have mischaracterized him. My understanding of Raimi’s SM1 is that by the end, Norman is helping the Goblin by distracting Peter – which is why that scene is so tragic. The good man finally caved to the allure of absolute power. It’s shown to us earlier when he crawls toward the mask, begging to be told how to make Peter suffer. But in NWH, we start with Norman and Goblin being at odds for some reason – arguing as if Norman has any level of control, or even desire to stop. Later we see he’s learned that Oscorp and Harry don’t exist in this world, which - had we somehow been given that realization before their argument - would have let me concede this portrayal. But as it stands I think they didn’t quite land the idea of what made him particularly scary and tragic. Still really enjoyed both facets of him, with that aside.

I was most concerned about Ock’s return. Given that he was an already redeemed character with such a memorable journey, it felt wrong to pluck him from that and mess around. But I’m happy with what was delivered, even if he’s a little under-baked for one of the tentpole villains. Before the movie, I had a theory that this was going to lead to a Superior Spider-Man situation. That Molina’s Ock was only a fake-out for Tom Holland’s Ock. I’m glad I was wrong because I like what we got, but y’all, I was whirring in my seat when the nanotech wrapped around the tentacles. On just a minor touch, I love the plotting of that overpass fight scene, and how it led to the unmasking of the ‘wrong’ Peter. Good stuff.

Electro was interesting, seeing as it’s more or less a take-two at the character despite having the same actor. Was happy to hear his music return, albeit briefly. I think what’s most fascinating to me about him in NWH is how it contrasts with my own idea for the character returning in my TASM3 script. We both went with yellow electricity for more comic accuracy, even trying to incorporate the mask in the electricity. But where I had him de-powered and in pain, they have him powered up and in control. I felt like they could have put in a little more effort to explain why he’s in this universe, though – considering he never found out Peter’s identity in his own movie.

Sandman and Lizard didn’t leave much impact, which is okay. I was a little confounded by Sandman’s motivations, and it took until after the movie was over for me to realise that the villains weren’t exactly a united front against Peter in the end fight. I can understand the behind the scenes reasons for keeping him sandy for the whole thing, but there wasn’t a real in-world explanation, there. And on the scaly side, the Lizard formula was never permanent in TASM1, so there’s a bit of plot-stretching there, too. I didn’t mind the design alterations they made to him, but was really hoping that when he was chasing Ned and MJ in the school lab, he’d stop to put on a labcoat. “Well, I am a doctor, after all.”

Okay. So, Spider-Man was in this movie. And so was Spider-Man. Also, Spider-Man.

I’d heard rumours, seen potential ‘leaks’, had already built my own theories… but I still managed to let myself doubt. So when Spider-Man from The Amazing Spider-Man 2 – the version most dear to me – stepped through that portal, I felt it. And the cinema audience went wild. There was a kind of magic in that moment, hearing such adoration for that version of the character, that I’ve felt a little alone in my admiration for. I was not prepared to revisit this character in the cinema, and see him get hit by bread of all things. I’m a little unsure how I feel about the backstory they’ve given him of ‘stopped pulling his punches’ – in all likelihood it is a natural direction to take him from the end of his last movie, but considering I’d built my own picture for where he ended up, it was hard to reconcile. Even so, I’ve put in a lot of emotional effort to give myself closure to this character… but to be given it is a very different feeling, and freeing in a whole new way. I’m glad it wasn’t winking too hard at the audience, or taking passive-aggressive shots at him being the ‘worst’ Spidey.

And Tobey’s here, too. It’s good to have you back, Spider-Man. I think the hints to where his Peter is at were good. I think Spider-Man 3 ended appropriately bittersweet, so to know that he’s ‘making it work’ is better than hearing “it’s all sunshine and roses and we got married on a hilltop”, or what-have-you. Like with Andrew, I was glad we didn’t get an awkwardly forced moment of “haha remember when I danced?”. Into the Spider-Verse took care of that already, so it was good they could just give us the characters instead of the memes. Things like awkwardly standing around in Ned’s place, arguing which one is ‘Peter Two’, these things will stick with me so much more than any of that.

I’d describe what this film does as the ‘good kind’ of fanservice. Cameos and references will always be this double-tipped spear of trying to please audiences, and maximizing profits. There is a dangerous ‘soullessness’ to it that is an inherent risk, as it’s so easy to allow fanservice to simply throw something recognizable in your face so you get excited. But to see the deliberation, the craft, and the care put in – to have the appearance of these characters and plot points be relevant and important to this new story, while also making efforts (not always successfully) to respect their sources and attempt to deepen them further… it’s just wonderful. And it sets a precedent and a challenge to other companies and creators to bring that same passion to such concepts.

After Andrew and Tobey showed up, the movie was in danger of being Spider-crowded from then on, but they seemed to know it was still ‘Peter One’s’ story. He gets time to mourn May with MJ and Ned, and his following scene with the other Peters was really well done. So caught up in grief that he didn’t really acknowledge who they were and what that meant, and at first shutting out their “I’ve been there” stories, until finding the connection through May’s words.

I think I was in a daze by the time we got to the final fight. It was very crafty of them to find old footage of Connors and Flint for their transformation scenes. It was really great seeing Electro get that interaction with Andrew’s Peter – “you were never a nobody”. Electro’s redemption was something I felt I didn’t have space for in my own script, so to see it here and done effectively, despite the crowded screentime of everything else going on… it’s both humbling and encouraging, and softens one of my problems with TASM2.

There were some nice moments between Tobey and his villains, too. But they didn’t leave quite as much of the impact, I don’t think. Otto having been redeemed in the way he was loses a bit of the connection he made with Peter in his final moments in SM2. But, wow, while I do think the villain’s deaths have been some fantastic storytelling moments, it is just really nice to see these characters get a second chance.

The MJ save. Woah. What a choice. What a moment to give to that character – to be able to give. And the aftermath is just wonderful. My cinema crowd once again erupted in cheers.

It’s been uplifting to see the immense positive resurgence for Andrew’s Spidey, and a call for more of TASM. I’m in a weird place about it, because I’ve invested so much into tying off that loose end… and I’m kind of content with what we have here, so I’m not quite sure where I’d like to see things go?

As for what’s to come for MCU Spidey – what an ending we have, here. Tragically pulling us all the way back to the friendly neighbourhood. Losing all his connections, to friends and enemies, and everything. Bittersweet but triumphant – it really hit me in the same way as the TASM2 ending does, and even further back to SM1. We get this final, victorious swing, that hides the hurting kid under the bombastic and wild superhero.

New suit looked great, too.

It finally feels like I got what I wanted from MCU Spidey, and more atop that. It elevates Homecoming and Far From Home into feeling like an extended origin story. It gives us redemptions for this set of villains, and reconnects us with our other Spideys, in such creative ways. Also, Matt Murdock was in it.

My regard for the movie may dwindle upon more watches, and that’s okay. Right now, I am content in riding the high. Right now, it sits as my favourite MCU film - and is tied at second place for my favourite live-action Spidey film.

Rating:

#long post #nonmakeover #max talks about spidey

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nerdwriting · 3 years

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The Creative Directors Behind Fate: The Winx Saga Must Not Be K-Pop Fans

Also, they have a pretty wrong idea of the role fashion should play in a show.

There are a few words that will stand out across most reviews of Netflix's Fate: The Winx Saga - drab, boring, flop, flat, unimaginative. Critics and audiences consensus is that the show is not only a mediocre-at-best story, but also an atrocious (and ultimately confusing) choice of adaptation of the color pop and fairy magic cartoon it’s based on, 2004 italian cartoon Winx Club.

Fate has plenty of it's own issues - white washing and erasing characters, cringey dialogue, outdated melodrama, etc. But where it truly, unequivocally fails is as an adaptation. Fate misses everything that was magical and lovable about the original series, in all levels, from bizarre writing choices, - such as never actually developing any sense of friendship between the characters, who are based on a cartoon about…..a group…….of friends -, but it's especially and immediately felt in the art direction and costume design.

Winx Club is set on a fantastical world, Magix, where each of our main characters hail from a different planet, à la Sailor Moon. Alfea, the fairy school they attend, is the most common background: a pastel colored, futuristic high tech-meets-fantasy, art nouveau inspired castle. Alfea sets the tone for the whole visual of the cartoon: bright, colorful, futuristic meets vintage, leaning into the technological positivism of the Y2K style, uniting it with magic, DnD worthy monsters and, of course, fairy wings. Often featured are also the Red Fountain school, where the Specialists train, and especially Cloud Tower, the goth and gothic inspired witch school Alfea has an OxBridge rivalry with (How cool would that be in a live action? I guess we’ll never know…).

On Fate, Alfea is the only school we ever see, and it’s another beige boarding school in not-Britain, somehow set in a magical world where everyone has the exact same technology and even social media that we have on Earth in 2021, no transformations and, most egregiously, no fairy wings.

This lack of visual creativity is pervasive throughout the whole show, and its most heartbreaking iteration is in the characters' wardrobe. The styling has the barest bones of a color scheme, - such as 'Bloom has to only dress in red since fire, duh',- the clothes are ill fitting, bland, dark and very dated. These are supposed to be teenagers who enjoy fashion, and yet they look like varying types of soccer moms from 2010.

The series seems to operate on an old and tired vision that women and girls can’t have depth and have adventures and fight monsters while also caring about fashion, a vision that the original show played a big, big role in challenging in the early 2000's. Fashion and costume design sets as much of the tone of a visual medium as the script does; through clothes we can gauge characters’ backgrounds, passions, and personality.

Winx Club has some of the best examples of this in the cartoon sphere - Bloom’s comfortable and bright style, Stella’s glitzy and bold, Musa’s edgy and cool, Aisha’s sporty and fun, Techna’s neon and tech gear inspired, Flora’s earthy and romantic, they all work as extensions of each character and serve a narrative purpose. And that’s not even mentioning how insulting it feels that in their quest to make Winx “edgier, darker” and fit for an older audience, the creators of Fate somehow decided that was in opposition to caring about style and fashion. Most “girly” shows, including the Winx Club are just as much adventure action shows as the ones geared towards boys, and it’s emphasis in fashion, friendship and color does not detract from that. The original run of the cartoon deals with war, violence, grief, abusive relationships and even genocide; leaning into those plotlines would not require Fate to erase any integral parts of what made Winx so beloved, and the fact that they did shows that the Netflix team completely missed the point of fashion in the original show, and really, the point of fashion and costume design in the world building of any show.

That, however, is not a mistake K-Pop makes very often; (This might seem like a bit of wild swerve in topic, but stay with me here). Unlike it's western counterpart, the Korean pop scene never lost the emphasis on music videos and how the visual medium can complete and potentialize music and performance; the K-Pop culture is very album and concept oriented in a way that has been all but lost in many other pop circuits, and the music video, styling and set design of a ‘comeback era’ is a key point of excitement among fans.

As such, music videos that follow storylines, connected universes, boundary pushing concepts and visual effects are the norm, rather than the exception, and a list could be made of works that are beautiful examples of what a live action Winx adaptation could look like. In fact, and very smoothly, here is a small list of exactly that!

A Small List of K-Pop Music Videos That Are Better Winx Club Live Actions Than Fate: The Winx Saga

3. Red Velvet - Psycho

If it was a darker and more somber look that Fate wanted, there was a way to make it actually appealing. While it still feels a liiitle too grown up and elegant for Winx, (maybe this author is biased, as a full proponent for the Y2K fun) Psycho makes a very compelling argument for a witchy, mysterious, fairy tale-esque show that could look scrumptious and definitely not boring, or even a gorgeous example of what the witches in Cloud Tower could look like. Black and white, dark green, pastel blue and pops of jewel tones make Psycho's color palette. To add interest to the understated colors, the styling is heavy on textures; We see plenty of stonework, intricate embroidery, tassels, lace on lace on lace, feathers, bows, opera gloves and lots of glitter. All of that is offset by bold, dark makeup, leather accents and eerie cinematography. Needle & Thread, Marchesa Notte and Self Portrait lend their hyper feminine and intricately detailed tulle gowns, juxtaposed with the creepiness of the lyrics and the dark backgrounds; their deep berry and green fairy tale looks are built with pieces from Zara to Nina Ricci to Dolce & Gabbana to Alexander McQueen.

Red Velvet’s more edgy styling for 2018's Bad Boy would also not feel out of place on the Trix.

2. IZ*ONE - Fiesta

IZ*ONE kicked off 2020 with sweet and fun Fiesta. The MV features rooms with mismatched décor that go from retro to space opera, rocky faux landscapes that feel other worldly, and visual effects that would look perfect on the back of a transformation sequence. Mirroring the set design, the girls wear various outfits by sustainable up and coming brand Chopova Lowena. Their signature skirts made with discarded and repurposed fabrics give a cool and interesting twist on a schoolgirl look that would look very sweet for a band of school fairies that occasionally go off to save the world. Also, wouldn't those bedazzled headphones look great on Musa's fairy outfit?

1. Aespa - Black Mamba and Next Level

Aespa is what fans call a monster rookie. With only three music videos under their belt, they still have some of the most visually interesting work in the industry right now. Their concept is very tied in with high tech, featuring even AI avatars of each member, packaged in a glitzy, fantastical and futuristic aesthetic, candy pop meets cyberpunk. I think I’ve exhausted ways to say that is exactly what a perfect Winx adaptation should feature.

Their debut smash hit, 2020’s Black Mamba is truly a perfect moodboard for live action Winx. Wearing a sequined and colorful mix and match of Dollskill, Gucci, Didu and Balenciaga to a backdrop that features some alien fairy forest realness, a pyschedelic fever dream, rooms straight out of a Y2K catalog or donning lime green and black techwear inside a metro fighting the "black mamba", Aespa look through and through the part of fashion loving fairies who save the world together, while looking fierce, stylish and, most importantly, interesting.

The styling and the sets jump seamlessly from more casual colorful fits with blouses, shirts and baggy pants to barren, darkly lit backgrounds and fringe-and-glitter heavy pieces necessary to fight giant snakes, in a way so fitting to transformation outfits for magical girls we could cry.

In their third MV, 2021's Next Level, the cyber in their concept is taken up a notch (get it. because Next Level-), set to a futuristic urbanscape intersped with a planet made of crystals and the ocasional alien fauna popping up again. We get treated to Monse, The 2nd Skin Co., Johanna Ortiz and The Attico styled to fairy princess standards, sporty sky racers and a white and sequined group styling that is top ten fairy busy saving the world uniform material, or maybe even a specialist worthy getup.

This particular look from Ningning is so Techna that it almost feels as if it's mocking Netflix.

And doesn’t this Karina trapped inside the "black mamba" in Alexander McQueen feel like a perfect Dark Bloom moment?

These are only a few examples of interesting and creative designs that are in line with what a live action Winx Club should have given us. There are so many more I could list, even among other TV Shows, like Sex Education and even polemic dark Euphoria, that know how to have fun with style and design without losing the depth of their stories. In the end, it's hard to justify why Fate creators even wanted to make an adaptation that didn't even try to capture the heart of its source material, and all we can do is watch one more "Restyling Fate: The Winx Saga" video on Youtube whilst mildly dreading season 2.

#winx #winx club #fate the winx saga #fate: the winx saga #tv #tv/movies #cartoons #k-pop #kpop #red velvet #aespa #iz*one #fashion #costume design #art direction

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animedaddymilkers · 3 years

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Kinkmas 2020: Day Eight

Prompt: Breeding w/ Jiraiya

Genre: Smut/18+ || Tags: Breeding, Creampie, Dirty Talk, Slight Impregnation, Sex Worker, Mutual Pining, Oral, Fingering || Characters: Jiraiya, Female Reader || read it on ao3 here

Three hours, three agonizing hours until your favorite client checked in. Three hours filled with you anxiously doing your makeup and little odds and ends to make sure your appearance was as enticing as possible. It wasn't usually like you to go all out for customers, but this particular one was special. Not to mention he was also your highest paying one. Andddd you may have caught some stupid, school-girl crush for him. Though you wouldn't dare say anything to his face, or to anyone for that matter. It wasn't worth risking your best client. Being a sex worker was hard enough as it was.

Jiraiya was a different breed of man, probably a different breed of human if you were being totally honest. He was so suave and smooth, yet put on a sleazy front, driving away most of the civilian women. You had your suspicions that he did that on purpose, but it wasn't your place to pry. He definitely attracted all the women who worked in similar professions as you, that was for sure. Even though he was known to be a cheapskate, drunk, and always tried to get more than he paid for, he wasn't like that with you. You heard once he found a favorite he was the exact opposite of his reputation and now you were living through just that.

The white-haired man appeared in the doorway of your designated hotel room, a bright smile on his face. This time the room had to be the presidential suite, it was comparable to a whole ass apartment for Kami's sake. After hearing the hotel door open you scurried out of the ridiculously large bathroom, your heels clicking along the marble floor to greet your client. His roaring laugh filled the room as he watched your delicate appearance not-so-delicately enter the room.

"Well, look at you! Shit, darling, you look amazing today. You're going to kill an old man like me," his cherry tone made you smile and you stopped in front of him.

"Oh please, you're harder to kill than that! So, what were you thinking today?" Your hands trailed up his still clothed chest, taking in the feel of the muscles you knew laid underneath.

Jiraiya's hands went to your waist, thumbs running over the lingerie you donned," Always so straight to the point, aren't you? Always loved that about ya. Anyways, thought maybe today we could just do something… soft? Just got back from a rough mission and could use some soft lovin'."

"Oh, yeah definitely! I can be whatever you need, handsome," you leaned up and kissed his cheek, using the other hand to caress the opposite cheek.

If he wanted soft, soft was what he was going to get. He knew it was dangerous to request sexual favors that included gentle actions from you. He knew your soft touches would fan the ache in his heart, but he couldn't help it. Maybe somewhere inside of him he just wanted an excuse to hold you close and "accidentally" let some sweet nothings be whispered in your ear. Your lips came together much slower than they usually do, gently pressing together as your eyes closed. His large hands rubbed your hips, fingers kneading into your soft flesh as he easily lifted you from the floor. As if from muscle memory alone, your legs wrapped around his waist as much as they could, happily clinging onto his built figure. The oversized king bed came too soon, your back meeting the plush sheets as Jiraiya's kisses began to trail down your jaw. His lips were warm and harsh against your skin but far from unwelcome. You knew what was coming but you still gasped quietly the first time he sucked the skin of your neck into his mouth.

"You drive me wild," his voice was low and rumbled against your throat, sending a shiver down your spine.

His hands wandered from your hips to your chest, playing with your boobs through the thin bra you wore. One of Jiraiya's favorite things was to leave love marks on you, all over you to be exact. Usually, you wouldn't allow it, marking up the merchandise and all. But for him, it was worth it. Not only did he pay more than enough to mark you, but you always felt almost proud to wear his hickeys on your neck and body after a session with him. It definitely helped you pretend you were truly his until they faded that is. Then you'd just have to wait until Jiraiya's name showed up on your booking schedule again. Though unbeknownst to you, your customer felt quite the same about the love marks. He knew very well he was lucky you allowed him to leave them and he'd be lying if he said he didn't go into the village the next day just to get a glimpse of you proudly displaying what he left you.

You tried not to rush things, going at whatever pace he set for the session, but it was hard not to get slightly greedy with such a mountain of man within your grasp. Thankfully, your partner picked up on your gathering impatience and began to slowly unwrap you from the lingerie you had on. The action wasn't empty of affection, quite the opposite. Each time he revealed more skin, his fingers lingered, his touch warm and gentle against you. Once you were naked it was more obvious how overdressed he was. So, you set about fixing that fact. His layers were peeled off one by one until he was left in his mesh shirt and underwear. This part, you loved to lay back and watch as he slowly stripped the rest, his shirt pulling up and revealing more of his abs and toned chest. Ugh, Kami, he was so hot for an older man. So many of your clients were tolerable at best, but Jiraiya? Quite literally the definition of 'you'd let him hit it for free'. But again, you had rent to pay.

Once you were both naked came the part where you two adored the other's body, not a usual part of your rendezvous but he wanted softness today. His rough fingers played with your nipples, shit-eating grin spreading across his face as you moaned and whined when he tugged them. Meanwhile, your hands roamed over every inch of him that you could reach, which currently only entailed his shoulders, head, and top of his chest. But that was enough for you to reach down and play with his nipples in return. The way his face reddened with blush almost made you giggle, but he twisted yours teasingly to get back at you. Jiraiya could seriously tease you for hours on end if it were any other day than today. Today, he had other plans, he needed emotional sex but he also needed it sooner rather than later.

His fingers were tracing along your slit, gathering up some of your wetness to spread it around more. He lazily rubbed at your clit as he kissed you, teeth nipping at your lips just lightly enough to make it hurt but not draw blood. It was a bit dizzying to have a man above you who could so easily kill you with minimal effort, yet each of his movements was filled with nothing but adoration. Part of you hated how tender he was with you every session and the other part that was head over heels in love begged him to continue. Your hips ground down against him, a whine falling out of your mouth before you could even help it. He exhaled a quiet laugh at your desperate reaction and did it again, only slightly harder this time. Teasing was a given when it came to Jiraiya unless he was really drunk. But hell, this time you were almost sure he was completely sober. It really must have been a rough mission if he didn't stop at the bar first. The thought made you want to stop him and give him all the extra attention in the world. The only thing stopping you was your business professional side. It'd just be too much, too risky to make a move like that. You'd be able to pamper him in due time and then it wouldn't seem out of place.

In the meantime, Jiraiya finally slid a thick finger inside of you, probing your insides like he was trying to test something out. His tongue stuck out slightly, caught between his teeth with a determined look on his face. If there wasn't a finger curling inside of your pussy you would have laughed at the expression. He pumped it in and out slowly, gently prodding for your g-spot. As he explored your insides he slipped another finger in, taking care to slowly stretch you out for him. He leaned his head down and let his tongue join in on the party, pressing it flat against your clit. Your head fell back against the bed as your fingers tangled into his expanse of lush, white hair, tugging gently to try and get more out of his mouth. He grinned against your thigh, a third, thick finger pushing into you. The stretch was now slightly uncomfortable, but you both slightly knew you had to endure it, or else the main event wasn't going to be as enjoyable. And Jiraiya always wanted you to enjoy it. Truly, he was the best client you ever had and it wasn't fair that this was just no strings attached business.

His tongue circled your clit before his teeth grazed your bundle of nerves, sending a shiver down your spine. Then he started a session routine, spelling out his name against your clit with his tongue. Again, you wish you could laugh during the cheesy action but it felt too damn good. The low rumble of his voice against you had your hips grinding down against his fingers. His fingers which still thrust in and out of you, changing positions and angles every now and then, intent on finding your g-spot. When his fingers finally made you gasp, he grinned devilishly and your grip tightened in his hair, knowing you were in for a ride now. Once they zeroed in on their target his fingers barely changed angles, repeatedly hitting your sweet spot. His mouth wrapped around your clit, sucking gently as his other hand slid down to your other hole. At first, he just teased, swirling his pointer finger around the puckered hole before using some of your pussy juice to slowly push in. The pressure from the extra finger had you gasping out his name, the assault on your other private parts far from ending. Your legs defied your intent to hold out longer and began to shake, the warm spasm in your lower stomach fast approaching.

"Fuck! Oh Kami, Jiraiya! Fuck I'm cumming!" cuss words continued to fall from your lips between moans as you came on his face.

Your juices properly soaked his stubble-covered jaw, more proof he didn't even bother going home before seeing you. As your legs spasmed he kept sucking your clit, welcoming the feeling of your plush thighs wrapping tightly around his head. A good three minutes later he finally let you have some reprieve, removing his face and hands from his body. Your eyes met his gleaming ones as he brought one hand to his mouth, sucking his fingers off. The skilled tongue that made you fall apart, swirled around his fingers, intent not to waste a single drop of your sweet juice. He had little to no reservations when it came to sex, happily sliding his finger from your other hole into his mouth, sucking it off just as he did the others. Next time you just might have to ask him to use his mouth on your ass… but for now, it was your turn to get your mouth busy.

Jiraiya had other thoughts, leaning up to kiss you again and slowly grind his hips against yours. He kissed you for a while, savoring the taste of your mouth, and went to line himself up at your entrance before you stopped him. Concerned, he looked up at you and was about to ask if something was wrong before you gently pushed to flip him over. Now with a look of understanding he chuckled softly and laid back against the pillows, arms tucked behind his head. Hair sprawled around him and arms flexed he looked like a true Adonis before you, even including the brutal scar on his chest. If anything, the scar just made him more god-like. It was a testament to what he did for a living, how self-sacrificing he was. There was only one thing that could make the view better: a lower perspective.

Your hands rubbed against his skin, just taking in the feel of it. The feel of his scars, the feel of the tensing muscles beneath, the intoxicating feel of his pulse beating beneath your fingers. You grinned as you brushed your fingertips along his pelvis, savoring in the shiver he always gave you. His hips were so sensitive it was almost cute. You leaned forward and kissed a trail down his abs, leaving little love bites along the way. Time didn't mean anything right now, so you took as long as you wanted, paying extra attention to leave darker marks along his hips and purposely avoiding where he wanted your touch most. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, trying not to think too hard about the sweet ways you touched him. Oftentimes, he had to remind himself that these affections from you were bought, if he hadn't bought this time with you, you wouldn't be here. The kisses and marks you left all over his body were just for sexy times. The gentle way you admired his body was just to keep him coming back, to keep him thinking you cared for him on a personal level. Damn, his thoughts got carried away again. He couldn't help but think of what waking up next to you would be like, you smiling-

His eyes flew open and he groaned as you licked up his cock. The grin you had on your face made him groan again, damn your sinful actions. Your lips wrapped around him and he locked eyes with yours as you slowly sank your mouth down his length. The gleam in your eyes drove him wild, watching as you took him inch by inch, careful not to gag. That is, until he gave you a cocky little thrust of his hips. You gagged and choked at the unanticipated movement, taking your mouth off of him, your hand relaxing it.

"You bastard! You ruined my rhythm!"

Jiraiya chuckled before grinning, "Oh but you sound so cute gagging on my cock, darling!"

His happy go lucky tone laced his words, making you roll your eyes as you pumped him. Taking a deep breath you wrapped your mouth around him again, determined to make it all the way down him this time. You knew he'd thrust again, but now you were expecting it and you were able to relax your throat more, grinning around his cock when you didn't gag. Jiraiya only grinned, proud that you caught onto his little game and resorted to letting you have the reins again. One of his large hands reached down, gathering your hair from out of your face to help you and so he could see better. Your head finally met the coarse white curls at the base of his cock and you held yourself there for a few moments. You swallowed a couple of times just to hear the man beneath you moan before you slowly began to slide back up, swirling your tongue around his tip. Kami, his face looked so good with the blush dusting his cheeks and chest. You'd give him all his money back just to have this view all to yourself. Still, you had the power to make him fall apart even more and you had every intention to do just that.

Again, your mouth surrounded him and you went down his length quicker this time, although you didn't go down all the way. Your rhythm took a few tries to perfect but you finally found it. Hollowing out your cheeks a bit you bobbed your head on his cock, twisting slightly as you went up and down. For a bit of cock you didn't force your mouth to go down on, your hand picked up the slack, rubbing around it while your mouth worked. Jiraiya's other hand came down to join his first in your hair and when your eyes met his he groaned. You looked so good when you were desperate to please him. He was comfortable enough with you now that he didn't even think of holding back all of his noises, even if they were the high pitched whines he let out when you played with his balls. Or the gasps when you gave him a taste of his own medicine and pushed a finger into his asshole. His hips twitched at the sudden pressure and he almost comically began to fall apart beneath you.

He panted and moaned, thighs tensing when you pushed another finger into him, "Damn it, fuck, (Y/N)... Darling please…"

You moaned around his cock before popping his cock out of your mouth, pumping it with your hand, "Mmm, what is it dear?"

His face was beet red and his chest near heaving, "Don't wanna cum like this…"

"Ah, that's right, I forgot geezers like you can only go so long." you grinned at him and let his cock free.

If it had been any other client, you wouldn't dare speak to them like that, but for Jiraiya, it only fired him up more. He smirked back at you and easily leaned down, lifting your body from between his legs. Before you could comprehend you were on all fours, ass properly displayed for the man behind you. His hands spread across your rear and massaged your ass before spreading your cheeks. The tip of his cock pressed at your entrance and you whined, trying to push yourself back onto him. He laughed at your desperation but still obliged, pushing into you slowly. Kami, he filled you so well, dragging along your walls perfectly. He didn't stop until his hips met yours, pushing his pelvis into your ass, staying there for a long moment. With a grin, he ground his hips against yours before pulling out almost all the way and then slamming back in.

It made you gasp and grab at the sheets for balance, the pace was both torture and pleasure. His hands gripped your hips, no doubt going to leave bruises as he continued fucking you. After a few minutes, he finally sped up, his cock hitting against your deepest parts. He leaned over your back and pressed kisses into your shoulders before trailing up your neck. His hot breath against your skin was enough to drive you wild and mixed with his groans you felt tingles fire through your body from your ears straight to your pussy. Your whines egged him on and he once again sped up, fucking into you with vigor now. The lewd sounds of your skin slapping together was like music and only sounded better accompanied by the noises you both were making. One of his hands slid from your hip and a thick finger rubbed at your clit, the extra stimulation making you groan and bury your face deeper into the blanket beneath you. You could feel your thighs shake, threatening to give out as your pussy clenched around his cock. Your cum properly wet his cock more and a bit of his thighs too, but that wasn't going to stop him.

Jiraiya fucked you through your orgasm, slowing as you came down before he roughly flipped you over onto your back, taking in your post-orgasm face, "You look so gorgeous like this darling. I could stare at you for hours."

His voice was deep and you sighed softly at his words, legs opening wide so he could slide back inside of you. Gently, he took your legs and pushed your knees towards your chest, leaving some room so he could lean down between them and kiss you. The position let his cock slide in deeper and you moaned feeling him hit your cervix. "Kami, Jiraiya, just fuck me already, I want your cum!"

He smirked and thrust roughly, making the breath catch in your throat, "You want my cum, pretty girl? You want me to fuck my baby into you?"

The words weren't supposed to come out. Not like that. But he always was a sucker for dirty talk so he wasn't really surprised with himself. You, on the other hand, were slightly shocked. Or at least you would have been if you weren't so horny. His words made you moan at the thought and you knew you wouldn't be satisfied until you felt his cum inside of you now. He did prefer to go in raw, but every time before this he had no qualms about pulling out. Briefly, you wondered what changed and if maybe it was all talk, but regardless, you couldn't help but lose all inhibitions at the thought of feeling his cum inside of you.

"Yes! Fuck your baby into me! Fill me up, Jiraiya, I want everyone to know what you've done to me!"

He growled and pushed your legs closer to your body as he nearly laid down on top of you. The heaviness of him added an extra warmth of protection, bringing you two closer physically and a bit emotionally as well. Now, you were so close you could lean up and kiss him, his hot breath on your lips, his intoxicating smell filling your nose while his hips quickly thrust in and out of you. Cuss words and praises fell from his lips, muffled by your skin as he fucked you harder, barely holding back at all. It was appropriate that he had you positioned in the mating press, adding to the feeling of the moment. You let yourself get absorbed in the fantasy, pretending he was saying those words under different circumstances, that he really meant what he said.

"Fuck I'm so close," he growled and his arms wrapped around your back, holding you closer, "You ready for it, darling? Let me hear you. C'mon."

As if you really needed any more convincing, you let it out, legs once again starting to shake as they wrapped around him, "Please, please, give me your cum. Oh, Kami~"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Being forced to be mine, huh? You want to be my little breeding slut?"

"Yes, yes yes! Make me yours!" Your high pitched whines sent him into a frenzy and he roughly began to rub your clit again.

You were already over sensitive so when you felt him bury himself to the hilt inside of you, you let yourself go. He groaned your name as you could feel his hot cum fill you up, your pussy spasming around him. Part of you couldn't believe he actually just came inside, though the majority of your lust clouded brain was absolutely satisfied that he did. You panted hard and was thankful as he helped stretch your cramping legs. He himself was breathing hard in the crook of your neck. Your arms wrapping around his neck as you played with his hair before he began to slowly pull away. His eyes locked with yours as he sat back on his feet, soft cock slipping out of you. When he did his eyes wandered down, watching as his cum slowly dripped out of your hole. But he gathered the drips onto his fingers and pushed it back into you.

"You're going to look so cute, big and round with my baby."

The words shook you from the bliss and you looked up at the white-haired man. The full possible repercussions of your actions crashed down onto you. Before you could voice any concerns, Jiraiya sighed and leaned down, putting his head in the crook of your neck again before filling the quiet of the room.

"I shouldn't have done that."

"I wanted it too."

"Did you really? Or just because I pay you to want it." his voice was gravelly and almost laced with guilt.

You had to say, you've seen Jiraiya through many post-orgasm moods, but this one full of something akin to regret was new, "No. I really wanted it. And… If it happens, then I'll happily welcome it."

He didn't lift his head, he didn't think he could even if he wanted to. Instead, he only held you tighter and finally let himself embrace his feelings for you, "I love you. I don't care about your line of work. I don't care how much I have to pay. Just…let me see you more?"

The breath you didn't know you were holding was exhaled and you looked down at him, "Jiraiya…"

"You don't have to like me back. I'd understand. I just couldn't keep it to myself any longer. (Y/N), you're the only thing keeping me returning to this village."

He looked almost scared as he confessed his feelings, his hands stroking over your skin, eyes avoiding yours, "Jiraiya, I love you too…"

Quickly his eyes snapped up to finally meet yours, his heart felt like it skipped a beat. It took him a minute to fully comprehend your words before he pressed his lips to yours again. The rest of the day was spent together, telling the other all the things you'd been holding back for who knows how long. Not to mention a few more rounds in the bed. Never in a million years would you have guessed a shared breeding kink would finally be the thing that brought you to confess your love for each other.

hope you enjoyed! remember likes & reblogs help me reach more people! :D

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‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ at 25: An Oral History of Disney’s Darkest Animated Classic

Posted on Slashfilm on Monday, June 21st, 2021 by Josh Spiegel

“This Is Going to Change Your Life”

The future directors of The Hunchback of Notre Dame were riding high from the success of Beauty and the Beast. Or, at least, they were happy to be finished.

Gary Trousdale, director: After Beauty and the Beast, I was exhausted. Plus, Kirk and I were not entirely trusted at first, because we were novices. I was looking forward to going back to drawing.

Kirk Wise, director: It was this crazy, wonderful roller-coaster ride. I had all this vacation time and I took a couple months off.

Gary Trousdale: A little later, it was suggested: “If you want to get back into directing, start looking for a project. You can’t sit around doing nothing.”

Kirk Wise: [Songwriters] Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty had a pitch called Song of the Sea, a loose retelling of the Orpheus myth with humpback whales. I thought it was very strong.

Gary Trousdale: We were a few months in, and there was artwork and a rough draft. There were a couple tentative songs, and we were getting a head of steam.

Kirk Wise: The phone rang. It was Jeffrey [Katzenberg, then-chairman of Walt Disney Studios], saying, “Drop everything. I got your next picture: The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

Gary Trousdale: “I’ve already got Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz. You’re going to do this.” It wasn’t like we were given a choice. It was, “Here’s the project. You’re on.”

Kirk Wise: I was pleased that [Jeffrey] was so excited about it. I think the success of Beauty and the Beast had a lot to do with him pushing it our way. It would’ve been crazy to say no.

Gary Trousdale: What [Kirk and I] didn’t know is that Alan and Stephen were being used as bait for us. And Jeffrey was playing us as bait for Alan and Stephen.

Alan Menken, composer: Jeffrey made reference to it being Michael Eisner’s passion project, which implied he was less enthused about it as a story source for an animated picture.

Stephen Schwartz, lyricist: They had two ideas. One was an adaptation of Hunchback and the other was about whales. We chose Hunchback. I’d seen the [Charles Laughton] movie. Then I read the novel and really liked it.

Peter Schneider, president of Disney Feature Animation (1985-99): I think what attracted Stephen was the darkness. One’s lust for something and one’s power and vengeance, and this poor, helpless fellow, Quasimodo.

Roy Conli, co-producer: I was working at the Mark Taper Forum in Los Angeles, doing new play development. I was asked if I’d thought about producing animation. I said, “Yeah, sure.”

Don Hahn, producer: The goose had laid lots of golden eggs. The studio was trying to create two units so they could have multiple films come out. Roy was tasked with something hard, to build a crew out of whole cloth.

Kirk Wise: The idea appealed to me because [of] the setting and main character. I worked with an elder story man, Joe Grant, [who] goes back to Snow White. He said, “Some of the best animation ideas are about a little guy with a big problem.” Hunchback fit that bill.

Gary Trousdale: It’s a story I always liked. When Jeffrey said, “This is going to change your life,” Kirk and I said, “Cool.” When I was a kid, I [had an] Aurora Monster Model of Quasimodo lashed to the wheel. I thought, “He’s not a monster.”

Don Hahn: It’s a great piece of literature and it had a lot of elements I liked. The underdog hero. [He] was not a handsome prince. I loved the potential.

Gary Trousdale: We thought, “What are we going to do to make this dark piece of literature into a Disney cartoon without screwing it up?”

Peter Schneider: The subject matter is very difficult. The conflict was how far to go with it or not go with it. This is basically [about] a pederast who says “Fuck me or you’ll die.” Right?

“We Were Able to Take More Chances”

Wise and Trousdale recruited a group of disparate artists from the States and beyond to bring the story of Quasimodo the bell-ringer to animated life.

Paul Brizzi, sequence director: We were freshly arrived from Paris.

Gaëtan Brizzi, sequence director: [The filmmakers] were looking for a great dramatic prologue, and they couldn’t figure [it] out. Paul and I spent the better part of the night conceiving this prologue. They said, “You have to storyboard it. We love it.”

Roy Conli: We had two amazing artists in Paul and Gaëtan Brizzi who became spiritual leaders in the production. They were so incredible.

Gaëtan Brizzi: [“The Bells of Notre Dame”] was not supposed to be a song first.

Paul Brizzi: The prologue was traditional in the Disney way. Gaëtan and I were thinking of German expressionism to emphasize the drama. I’m not sure we could do that today.

Paul Kandel, voice of Clopin: They were toying with Clopin being the narrator. So they wrote “The Bells of Notre Dame” to open the movie.

Stephen Schwartz: [Alan and I] got called into a presentation, and on all these boards [was] laid out “The Bells of Notre Dame.” We musicalized the story they put up there. We used the pieces of dialogue they invented for Frollo and the other characters. I wrote lyrics that described the narrative. It was very exciting. I had never written a song like that.

Kirk Wise: Early on, we [took] a research trip with the core creative team to Paris. We spent two weeks all over Notre Dame. They gave us unrestricted access, going down into the catacombs. That was a huge inspiration.

Don Hahn: To crawl up in the bell towers and imagine Quasimodo there, to see the bells and the timbers, the scale of it all is unbelievable.

Kirk Wise: One morning, I was listening to this pipe organ in this shadowy cathedral, with light filtering through the stained-glass windows. The sound was so powerful, I could feel it thudding in my chest. I thought, “This is what the movie needs to feel like.”

Brenda Chapman, story: It was fun to sit in a room and draw and think up stuff. I liked the idea of this lonely character up in a bell tower and how we could portray his imagination.

Kathy Zielinski, supervising animator, Frollo: It was the earliest I’ve ever started on a production. I was doing character designs for months. I did a lot of design work for the gargoyles, as a springboard for the other supervisors.

James Baxter, supervising animator, Quasimodo: Kirk and Gary said, “We’d like you to do Quasimodo.” [I thought] that would be such a cool, amazing thing to do. They wanted this innocent vibe to him. Part of the design process was getting that part of his character to read.

Will Finn, head of story/supervising animator, Laverne: Kirk and Gary wanted me on the project. Kirk, Gary, and Don Hahn gave me opportunities no one else would have, and I am forever grateful.

Kathy Zielinski: I spent several months doing 50 or 60 designs [for Frollo]. I looked at villainous actors. Actually, one was Peter Schneider. [laughing] Not to say he’s a villain, but a lot of the mannerisms and poses. “Oh, that looks a little like Peter.”

James Baxter: I was doing design work on the characters with Tony Fucile, the animator on Esmerelda. I think Kirk and Gary felt Beauty and the Beast had been disparate and the characters weren’t as unified as they wanted.

Kathy Zielinski: Frollo stemmed from Hans Conried [the voice of Disney’s Captain Hook]. He had a longish nose and a very stern-looking face. Frollo was modeled a little bit after him.

Will Finn: The team they put together was a powerhouse group – Brenda Chapman, Kevin Harkey, Ed Gombert, and veterans like Burny Mattinson and Vance Gerry. I felt funny being their “supervisor.”

Kathy Zielinski: Half my crew was in France, eight hours ahead. We were able to do phone calls. But because of the time difference, our end of the day was their beginning of the morning. I was working a lot of late hours, because [Frollo] was challenging to draw.

Kirk Wise: Our secret weapon was James Baxter, who animated the ballroom sequence [in Beauty and the Beast] on his own. He had a unique gift of rotating characters in three-dimensional space perfectly.

Gary Trousdale: James Baxter is, to my mind, one of the greatest living animators in the world.

James Baxter: I’ve always enjoyed doing things that were quite elaborate in terms of camera movement and three-dimensional space. I’m a glutton for punishment, because those shots are very hard to do.

Gary Trousdale: In the scene with Quasimodo carrying Esmeralda over his shoulder, climbing up the cathedral, he looks back under his arms, snarling at the crowd below. James called that his King Kong moment.

As production continued, Roy Conli’s position shifted, as Don Hahn joined the project, and Jeffrey Katzenberg left Disney in heated fashion in 1994.

Roy Conli: Jeffrey was going to create his own animation studio. Peter Schneider was interested in maintaining a relationship with Don Hahn. We were into animation, ahead of schedule. They asked Don if he would produce and if I would run the studio in Paris.

Don Hahn: Roy hadn’t done an animated film before. I was able to be a more senior presence. I’d worked with Kirk and Gary before, which I enjoy. They’re unsung heroes of these movies.

Kirk Wise: The [production] pace was more leisurely. As leisurely as these things can be. We had more breathing room to develop the storyboards and the script and the songs.

Gary Trousdale: Jeffrey never liked characters to have facial hair. No beards, no mustaches, nothing. There’s original designs of Gaston [with] a little Errol Flynn mustache. Jeffrey hated it. “I don’t want any facial hair.” Once he left, we were like, “We could give [Phoebus] a beard now.”

Kirk Wise: The ballroom sequence [in Beauty] gave us confidence to incorporate more computer graphics into Hunchback. We [had] to create the illusion of a throng of thousands of cheering people. To do it by hand would have been prohibitive, and look cheap.

Stephen Schwartz: Michael Eisner started being more hands-on. Michael was annoyed at me for a while, because when Jeffrey left, I accepted the job of doing the score for Prince of Egypt. I got fired from Mulan because of it. But once he fired me, Michael couldn’t have been a more supportive, positive colleague on Hunchback.

Kirk Wise: [The executives] were distracted. We were able to take more chances than we would have under the circumstances that we made Beauty and the Beast.

Don Hahn: Hunchback was in a league of its own, feeling like we [could] step out and take some creative risks. We could have done princess movies forever, and been reasonably successful. Our long-term survival relied on trying those risks.

One sticking point revolved around Notre Dame’s gargoyles, three of whom interact with Quasimodo, but feel more lighthearted than the rest of the dark story.

Gary Trousdale: In the book and several of the movies, Quasimodo talks to the gargoyles. We thought, “This is Disney, we’re doing a cartoon. The gargoyles can talk back.” One thing led to another and we’ve got “A Guy Like You.”

Kirk Wise: “A Guy Like You” was literally created so we could lighten the mood so the audience wasn’t sitting in this trough of despair for so long.

Stephen Schwartz: Out of context, the number is pretty good. I think I wrote some funny lyrics. But ultimately it was a step too far tonally for the movie and it has been dropped from the stage version.

Gary Trousdale: People have been asking for a long time: are they real? Are they part of Quasimodo’s personality? There were discussions that maybe Quasimodo is schizophrenic. We never definitively answered it, and can argue convincingly both ways.

Jason Alexander, voice of Hugo: I wouldn’t dream of interfering with anyone’s choice on that. It’s ambiguous for a reason and part of that reason is the viewers’ participation in the answer. Whatever you believe about it, I’m going to say you’re right.

Brenda Chapman: I left before they landed on how [to play] the gargoyles. My concern was, what are the rules? Are they real? Are they in his imagination? What can they do? Can they do stuff or is it all Quasi? I looked at it a little askance in the finished film. I wasn’t sure if I liked how it ended up…[Laverne] with the boa on the piano.

Kirk Wise: There was a component of the audience that felt the gargoyles were incompatible with Hunchback. But all of Disney’s movies, including the darkest ones, have comic-relief characters. And Disney was the last person to treat the written word as gospel.

“A Fantastic Opportunity”

After a successful collaboration on Pocahontas, Menken and Schwartz worked on turning Victor Hugo’s tragic story into a musical.

Alan Menken: The world of the story was very appealing, and it had so much social relevance and cultural nuance.

Stephen Schwartz: The story lent itself quite well to musicalization because of the extremity of the characters and the emotions. There was a lot to sing about. There was a great milieu.

Alan Menken: To embed the liturgy of the Catholic Church into a piece of music that’s operatic and also classical and pop-oriented enriches it in a very original way. Stephen was amazing. He would take the theme from the story and specifically set it in Latin to that music.

Stephen Schwartz: The fact that we were doing a piece set in a church allowed us to use all those elements of the Catholic mass, and for Alan to do all that wonderful choral music.

Alan Menken: The first creative impulse was “Out There.” I’m a craftsman. I’m working towards a specific assignment, but that was a rare instance where that piece of music existed.

Stephen Schwartz: I would come in with a title, maybe a couple of lines for Alan to be inspired by. We would talk about the whole unit, its job from a storytelling point of view. He would write some music. I could say, “I liked that. Let’s follow that.” He’d push a button and there would be a sloppy printout, enough that I could play it as I was starting the lyrics.

Roy Conli: Stephen’s lyrics are absolutely phenomenal. With that as a guiding light, we were in really good shape.

Stephen Schwartz: Alan played [the “Out There” theme] for me, and I really liked it. I asked for one change in the original chorus. Other than that, the music was exactly as he gave it to me.

Gary Trousdale: Talking with these guys about music is always intimidating. There was one [lyric] Don and I both questioned in “Out There,” when Frollo is singing, “Why invite their calumny and consternation?” Don and I went, “Calumny?” Kirk said, “Nope, it’s OK, I saw it in an X-Men comic book.” I went, “All right! It’s in a comic book! It’s good.”

Stephen Schwartz: Disney made it possible for me to get into Notre Dame before it opened to the public. I’d climb up the steps to the bell tower. I’d sit there with my yellow pad and pencil. I’d have the tune for “Out There” in my head, and I would look out at Paris, and be Quasimodo. By the time we left Paris, the song was written.

Kirk Wise: Stephen’s lyrics are really smart and literate. I don’t think the comical stuff was necessarily [his] strongest area. But this movie was a perfect fit, because the power of the emotions were so strong. Stephen just has a natural ability to connect with that.

Will Finn: The directors wanted a funny song for the gargoyles and Stephen was not eager to write it. He came to me and Irene Mecchi and asked us to help him think of comedy ideas for “A Guy Like You,” and we pitched a bunch of gags.

Jason Alexander: Singing with an orchestra the likes of which Alan and Stephen and Disney can assemble is nirvana. It’s electrifying and gives you the boost to sing over and over. Fortunately, everyone was open to discovery. I love nuance and intention in interpretation. I was given wonderful freedom to find both.

Stephen Schwartz: “Topsy Turvy,” it’s one of those numbers of musical theater where you can accomplish an enormous amount of storytelling. If you didn’t have that, you’d feel you were drowning in exposition. When you put it in the context of the celebration of the Feast of Fools, you could get a lot of work done.

Paul Kandel: The first time I sang [“Topsy Turvy”] through, I got a little applause from the orchestra. That was a very nice thing to happen and calm me down a little bit.

Brenda Chapman: Poor Kevin Harkey must’ve worked on “Topsy Turvy” for over a year. Just hearing [singing] “Topsy turvy!” I thought, “I would shoot myself.” It’s a fun song, but to listen to that, that many times. I don’t know if he ever got to work on anything else.

Paul Kandel: There were places where I thought the music was squarer than it needed to be. I wanted to round it out because Clopin is unpredictable. Is he good? Is he bad? That’s what I was trying to edge in there.

Kirk Wise: “God Help the Outcasts” made Jeffrey restless. I think he wanted “Memory” from Cats. Alan and Stephen wrote “Someday.” Jeffrey said, “This is good, but it needs to be bigger!” Alan was sitting at his piano bench, and Jeffrey was next to him. Jeffrey said, “When I want it bigger, I’ll nudge you.” Alan started playing and Jeffrey was jabbing him in the ribs. “Bigger, bigger!”

Don Hahn: In terms of what told the story better, one song was poetic, but the other was specific. “Outcasts” was very specific about Quasimodo. “Someday” was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

Kirk Wise: When Don watched the movie, he said, “It’s working pretty well. But ‘Someday,’ I don’t know. It feels like she’s yelling at God.” We played “God Help the Outcasts” for him and Don said, “Oh, this is perfect.” That song is the signature of the entire movie.

Don Hahn: “Someday” was lovely. But I had come off of working with Howard Ashman, and I felt, “This doesn’t move the plot forward much, does it?” We ended up with “Someday” as an end-credits song, which was fortunate. ‘Cause they’re both good songs.

Kirk Wise: It was all about what conveys the emotion of the scene and the central theme of the movie best. “God Help the Outcasts” did that.

Everyone agrees on one point.

Stephen Schwartz: Hunchback is Alan’s best score. And that’s saying a lot, because he’s written a whole bunch of really good ones.

Gary Trousdale: With Hunchback, there were a couple of people that said, “This is why I chose music as a career.” Alan and Stephen’s songs are so amazing, so that’s really something.

Paul Kandel: It has a beautiful score.

Jason Alexander: It has the singularly most sophisticated score of most of the animated films of that era.

Roy Conli: The score of Hunchback is one of the greatest we’ve done.

Don Hahn: This is Alan’s most brilliant score. The amount of gravitas Alan put in the score is amazing.

Alan Menken: It’s the most ambitious score I’ve ever written. It has emotional depth. It’s a different assignment. And it was the project where awards stopped happening. It’s almost like, “OK, now you’ve gone too far.”

Stephen Schwartz: It’s astonishing that Alan has won about 173 Academy Awards, and the one score he did not win for is his best score.

The film featured marquee performers singing covers of “God Help the Outcasts” and “Someday”. But one of the most famous performers ever nearly brought those songs to life.

Alan Menken: I met Michael Jackson when we were looking for someone to sing “A Whole New World” for Aladdin. Michael wanted to co-write the song. I could get a sense of who Michael was. He was a very unique, interesting individual…in his own world.

I get a call out of nowhere from Michael’s assistant, when Michael was at the Four Seasons Hotel in New York. He had to [deal with] allegations about inappropriate behavior with underage kids, and the breakup with Lisa Marie Presley. He’s looking to change the subject. And he obviously loves Disney so much. So I mentioned Hunchback. He said he’d love to come to my studio, watch the movie and talk about it. So we got in touch with Disney Animation. They said, “Meet with him! If he likes it…well, see what he says.” [laughing]

There’s three songs. One was “Out There,” one was “God Help the Outcasts,” one was “Someday.” Michael said, “I would like to produce the songs and record some of them.” Wow. Okay. What do we do now? Michael left. We got in touch with Disney. It was like somebody dropped a hot poker into a fragile bowl with explosives. “Uh, we’ll get back to you about that.”

Finally, predictably, the word came back, “Disney doesn’t want to do this with Michael Jackson.” I go, “OK, could someone tell him this?” You can hear a pin drop, no response, and nobody did [tell him]. It fell to my late manager, Scott Shukat, to tell Michael or Michael’s attorney.

In retrospect, it was the right decision. [But] Quasimodo is a character…if you look at his relationships with his family and his father, I would think there’s a lot of identification there.

“They’re Never Going to Do This Kind of Character Again”

The film is known for the way it grapples with the hypocrisy and lust typified by the villainous Judge Frollo, whose terrifying song “Hellfire” remains a high point of Disney animation.

Gary Trousdale: Somebody asked me recently: “How the hell did you get ‘Hellfire’ past Disney?” It’s a good question.

Alan Menken: When Stephen and I wrote “Hellfire,” I was so excited by what we accomplished. It really raised the bar for Disney animation. It raised the bar for Stephen’s and my collaboration.

Stephen Schwartz: I thought the would never let me get away with [“Hellfire”]. And they never asked for a single change.

Alan Menken: Lust and religious conflict. Now more than ever, these are very thorny issues to put in front of the Disney audience. We wanted to go at it as truthfully as possible.

Stephen Schwartz: When Alan and I tackled “Hellfire,” I did what I usually did: write what I thought it should be and assume that [Disney would] tell me what I couldn’t get away with. But they accepted exactly what we wrote.

Don Hahn: Every good song score needs a villain’s moment. Stephen and Alan approached it with “Hellfire.”

Alan Menken: It was very clear, we’d thrown the gauntlet pretty far. It was also clear within our creative team that everybody was excited about going there.

Don Hahn: You use all the tools in your toolkit, and one of the most powerful ones was Alan and Stephen. Stephen can be dark, but he’s also very funny. He’s brilliant.

Gary Trousdale: The [MPAA] said, “When Frollo says ‘This burning desire is turning me to sin,’ we don’t like the word ‘sin.’” We can’t change the lyrics now. It’s all recorded. Kinda tough. “What if we just dip the volume of the word ‘sin’ and increase the sound effects?” They said, “Good.”

Stephen Schwartz: It’s one of the most admirable things [laughs] I have ever seen Disney Animation do. It was very supportive and adventurous, which is a spirit that…let’s just say, I don’t think [the company would] make this movie today.

Don Hahn: It’s funny. Violence is far more accepted than sex in a family movie. You can go see a Star Wars movie and the body count’s pretty huge, but there’s rarely any sexual innuendo.

Kathy Zielinski: I got to watch [Tony Jay] record “Hellfire” with another actor. I was sweating watching him record, because it was unbelievably intense. Afterwards, he asked me, “Did you learn anything from my performance?” I said, “Yeah, I never want to be a singer.” [laughing]

Paul Kandel: Tony Jay knocked that out of the park. He [was] an incredible guy. Very sweet. He was terrified to record “Hellfire.” He was at a couple of my sessions. He went, “Oh my God, what’s going to happen when it’s my turn? I don’t sing. I’m not a singer. I never pretended to be a singer.” I said, “Look, I’m not a singer. I’m an actor who figured out that they could hold a tune.”

Kathy Zielinski: I listened to Tony sing “Hellfire” tons. I knew I had gone too far when, one morning, we were sitting at the breakfast table and my daughter, who was two or three at the time, started singing the song and doing the mannerisms. [laughs]

Don Hahn: We didn’t literally want to show [Frollo’s lust]. It turns into a Fantasia sequence, almost. A lot of the imagery is something you could see coming out of Frollo’s imagination. It’s very impressionistic. It does stretch the boundaries of what had been done before at Disney.

Kirk Wise: We stylized it like “Night on Bald Mountain.” The best of Walt’s films balanced very dark and light elements. Instead of making it explicit, we tried to make it more visual and use symbolic imagery.

Gaëtan Brizzi: We were totally free. We could show symbolically how sick Frollo is between his hate and his carnal desire.

Kathy Zielinski: The storyboards had a tremendous influence. Everybody was incredibly admiring of the work that [Paul and Gaëtan] had done.

Don Hahn: They brought the storyboarded sequence to life in a way that is exactly what the movie looks like. The strength of it is that we didn’t have to show anything as much as we did suggest things to the audience. Give the audience credit for filling in the blanks.

Gary Trousdale: It was absolutely gorgeous. Their draftsmanship and their cinematography. They are the top. They pitched it with a cassette recording of Stephen singing “Hellfire”, and we were all in the story room watching it, going “Oh shit!”

Paul Brizzi: When Frollo is at the fireplace with Esmeralda’s scarf, his face is hypnotized. From the smoke, there’s the silhouette of Esmeralda coming to him. She’s naked in our drawings.

Gary Trousdale: We joked, maybe because they’re French, Esmeralda was in the nude when she was in the fire. Roy Disney put his foot down and said, “That’s not going to happen.” Chris Jenkins, the head of effects, and I went over every drawing to make sure she was appropriately attired. That was the one concession we made to the studio.

Gaëtan Brizzi: It’s the role of storyboard artists to go far, and then you scale it down. Her body was meant to be suggestive. It was more poetic than provocative.

Brenda Chapman: I thought what the Brizzis did with “Hellfire” was just stunning.

Roy Conli: We make films for people from four to 104, and we’re trying to ensure that the thematic material engages adults and engages children. We had a lot of conversations on “Hellfire,” [which] was groundbreaking. You saw the torment, but you didn’t necessarily, if you were a kid, read it as sexual. And if you were an adult, you picked it up pretty well.

Will Finn: “Hellfire” was uncomfortable to watch with a family audience. I’m not a prude, but what are small kids to make of such a scene?

Kathy Zielinski: When I was working on “Hellfire,” I thought, “Wow. They’re never going to do this kind of character again.” And I’m pretty much right.

“Straight for the Heart”

“Hellfire” may be the apex of the maturity of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but the entire film is the most complex and adult Disney animated feature of the modern era.

Gary Trousdale: We went straight for the heart and then pulled back.

Kirk Wise: I was comfortable with moments of broad comedy contrasted with moments that were dark or scary or violent. All of the Disney movies did that, particularly in Walt’s time.

Don Hahn: A lot of it is gut level, where [the story group would] sit around and talk to ourselves and pitch it to executives. But Walt Disney’s original animated films were really dark. We wanted to create something that had the impact of what animation can do.

Will Finn: Eisner insisted we follow the book to the letter, but he said the villain could not be a priest, and we had to have a happy ending. The book is an epic tragedy – everybody dies!

Kathy Zielinski: It’s a little scary that I felt comfortable with [Frollo]. [laughing] I don’t know what that means. Maybe I need to go to therapy. I’ve always had a desire to do villains. I just love evil.

Don Hahn: Kathy Zielinski is brilliant. She works on The Simpsons now, which is hilarious. She’s very intense, very aware of what [Frollo] had to do.

One specific choice in the relationship between Frollo and Esmeralda caused problems.

Stephen Schwartz: I remember there was great controversy over Frollo sniffing Esmeralda’s hair.

Kirk Wise: The scene that caused the most consternation was in the cathedral where Frollo grabs Esmeralda, whispers in her ear and sniffs her hair. The sniffing made people ask, “Is this too far?” We got a lot of support from Peter Schneider, Tom Schumacher, and Michael Eisner.

Kathy Zielinski: Brenda Chapman came up with that idea and the storyboard. I animated it. It’s interesting, because two females were responsible for that. That scene was problematic, so they had to cut it down. It used to be a lot longer.

Brenda Chapman: I know I’m probably pushing it too far, but let’s give it a go, you know?

Kirk Wise: We agreed it was going to be a matter of execution and our collective gut would tell us whether we were crossing the line. We learned that the difference between a G and PG is the loudness of a sniff. Ultimately, that’s what it came down to.

Brenda Chapman: I never knew that! [laughing]

Don Hahn: Is it rated G? That’s surprising.

Gary Trousdale: I’m sure there was backroom bargaining done that Kirk and I didn’t know about.

Don Hahn: It’s negotiation. The same was true of The Lion King. We had intensity notes on the fight at the end. You either say, we’re going to live with that and it’s PG, or we’re not and it’s G.

Brenda Chapman: I heard stories of little kids going, “Ewww, he’s rubbing his boogers in her hair!” [laughing] If that’s what they want to think, that’s fine. But there are plenty of adults that went, “Whoa!”

Don Hahn: You make the movies for yourselves, [but] we all have families, and you try to make something that’s appropriate for that audience. So we made some changes. Frollo isn’t a member of the clergy to take out any politicizing.

Gaëtan Brizzi: We developed the idea of Frollo’s racism against the gypsies. To feel that he desires Esmeralda and he wants to kill her. It was ambiguity that was interesting to develop. In the storyboards, Paul made [Frollo] handsome with a big jaw, a guy with class. They said he was too handsome. We had to break that formula.

Stephen Schwartz: I [and others] said, “It doesn’t make any sense for him to not be the Archdeacon, because what’s he doing with Quasimodo? What possible relationship could they have?” Which is what led to the backstory that became “The Bells of Notre Dame.”

Don Hahn: The things Frollo represents are alive and well in the world. Bigotry and prejudice are human traits and always have been. One of his traits was lust. How do you portray that in a Disney movie? We tried to portray that in a way that might be over kids’ heads and may not give them nightmares necessarily, but it’s not going to pull its punches. So it was a fine line.

Stephen Schwartz: Hugo’s novel is not critical of the church the way a lot of French literature is. It creates this character of Frollo, who’s a deeply hypocritical person and tormented by his hypocrisy.

Peter Schneider: I am going to be controversial. I think it failed. The fundamental basis is problematic, if you’re going to try and do a Disney movie. In [light of] the #MeToo movement, you couldn’t still do the movie and try what we tried to do. As much as we tried to soften it, you couldn’t get away from the fundamental darkness.

Don Hahn: Yeah, that sounds like Peter. He’s always the contrarian.

Peter Schneider: I’m not sure we should have made the movie, in retrospect. I mean, it did well, Kirk and Gary did a beautiful job. The voices are beautiful. The songs are lovely, but I’m not sure we should have made the movie.

Gaëtan Brizzi: The hardest part was to stick to the commercial side of the movie…to make sure we were still addressing kids.

Kirk Wise: We knew it was going to be a challenge to honor the source material while delivering a movie that would fit comfortably on the shelf with the other Disney musicals. We embraced it.

Roy Conli: I don’t think it was too mature. I do find it at times slightly provocative, but not in a judgmental or negative way. I stand by the film 100 percent in sending a message of hope.

Peter Schneider: It never settled its tone. If you look at the gargoyles and bringing in Jason Alexander to try and give comedy to this rather bleak story of a judge keeping a deformed young man in the tower…there’s so many icky factors for a Disney movie.

Jason Alexander: Some children might be frightened by Quasi’s look or not be able to understand the complexity. But what we see is an honest, innocent and capable underdog confront his obstacles and naysayers and emerge triumphant, seen and accepted. I think young people rally to those stories. They can handle the fearsome and celebrate the good.

Brenda Chapman: There was a scene where Frollo was locking Quasimodo in the tower, and Quasi was quite upset. I had to pull back from how cruel Frollo was in that moment, if I’m remembering correctly. I wanted to make him a very human monster, which can be scarier than a real monster.

Roy Conli: We walked such a tight line and we were on the edge and the fact that Disney allowed us to be on the edge was a huge tribute to them.

“Hear the Voice”

The story was set, the songs were ready. All that was left was getting a cast together to bring the characters’ voices to life.

Jason Alexander: Disney, Alan Menken, Stephen Schwartz, Victor Hugo – you had me at hello.

Paul Kandel: I was in Tommy, on Broadway. I was also a Tony nominee. So I had those prerequisites. Then I got a call from my agent that Jeffrey Katzenberg decided he wanted a star. I was out of a job I already had. I said, “I want to go back in and audition again.” I wanted to let them choose between me and whoever had a name that would help sell the film. So that series of auditions went on and I got the job back.

Kirk Wise: Everybody auditioned, with the exception of Kevin Kline and Demi Moore. We went to them with an offer. But we had a few people come in for Quasimodo, including Meat Loaf.

Will Finn: Katzenberg saw Meat Loaf and Cher playing Quasimodo and Esmeralda – more of a rock opera. He also wanted Leno, Letterman, and Arsenio as the gargoyles at one point.

Kirk Wise: Meat Loaf sat with Alan and rehearsed the song. It was very different than what we ended up with, because Meat Loaf has a very distinct sound. Ultimately, I think his record company and Disney couldn’t play nice together, and the deal fell apart.

Gary Trousdale: We all had the drawings of the characters we were currently casting for in front of us. Instead of watching the actor, we’d be looking down at the piece of paper, trying to hear that voice come out of the drawing. And it was, we learned, a little disconcerting for some of the actors and actresses, who would put on hair and makeup and clothes and they’ve got their body language and expressions. We just want to hear the voice.

Kirk Wise: We cast Cyndi Lauper as one of the gargoyles. We thought she was hilarious and sweet. The little fat obnoxious gargoyle had a different name, and was going to be played by Sam McMurray. We had Cyndi and Sam record, and Roy Disney hated it. The quality of Cyndi’s voice and Sam’s voice were extremely grating to his ear. This is no disrespect to them – Cyndi Lauper is amazing. And Sam McMurray is very funny. But it was not working for the people in the room on that day.

Jason Alexander: The authors cast you for a reason – they think they’ve heard a voice in you that fits their character. I always try to look at the image of the character – his shape, his size, his energy and start to allow sounds, pitches, vocal tics to emerge. Then everyone kicks that around, nudging here, tweaking there and within a few minutes you have the approach to the vocalization. It’s not usually a long process, but it is fun.

Kirk Wise: We decided to reconceive the gargoyles. We always knew we wanted three of them. We wanted a Laurel and Hardy pair. The third gargoyle, the female gargoyle, was up in the air. I think it was Will Finn who said, “Why don’t we make her older?” As the wisdom-keeper. That led us to Mary Wickes, who was absolutely terrific. We thoroughly enjoyed working with Mary, and 98% of the dialogue is her. But she sadly passed away before we were finished.

Will Finn: We brought in a ton of voice-over actresses and none sounded like Mary. One night, I woke up thinking about Jane Withers, who had been a character actress in the golden age of Hollywood. She had a similar twang in her voice, and very luckily, she was alive and well.

Kirk Wise: Our first session with Kevin Kline went OK, but something was missing. It just didn’t feel like there was enough of a twinkle in his voice. Roy Conli said, “Guys, he’s an actor. Give him a prop.” For the next session, the supervising animator for Phoebus brought in a medieval broadsword. Before the session started, we said “Kevin, we’ve got a present for you.” We brought out this sword, and he lit up like a kid at Christmas. He would gesture with it and lean on it. Roy found the key there.

Gary Trousdale: Kevin Kline is naturally funny, so we may have [written] some funnier lines for him. When he’s sparring with Esmeralda in the cathedral and he gets hit by the goat. “I didn’t know you had a kid,” which is the worst line ever. But he pulls it off. He had good comic timing.

Kirk Wise: Tom Hulce had a terrific body of work, including Amadeus. But the performance that stuck with me was in Dominic and Eugene. There was a sensitivity and emotional reality to that performance that made us lean in and think he might make a good Quasimodo.

Gary Trousdale: [His voice] had a nice mix of youthful and adult. He had a maturity, but he had an innocence as well. We’re picturing Quasimodo as a guy who’s basically an innocent. It was a quality of his voice that we could hear.

Don Hahn: He’s one of those actors who could perform and act while he sang. Solo songs, especially for Quasimodo, are monologues set to music. So you’re looking for someone who can portray all the emotion of the scene. It’s about performance and storytelling, and creating a character while you’re singing. That’s why Tom rose to the top.

Stephen Schwartz: I thought Tom did great. I had known Tom a little bit beforehand, as an actor in New York. I’d seen him do Equus and I was sort of surprised. I just knew him as an actor in straight plays. I didn’t know that he sang at all, and then it turned out that he really sang.

Paul Kandel: [Tom] didn’t think of himself as a singer. He’s an actor who can sing. “Out There,” his big number – whether he’s going to admit it to you or not – that was scary for him. But a beautiful job.

Brenda Chapman: Quasimodo was the key to make it family-friendly. Tom Hulce did such a great job making him appealing.

Kirk Wise: Gary came back with the audiotape of Tom’s first session. And his first appearance with the little bird, where he asks if the bird is ready to fly…that whole scene was his rehearsal tape. His instincts were so good. He just nailed it. I think he was surprised that we went with that take. It was the least overworked and the most spontaneous, and felt emotionally real to us.

Kathy Zielinski: Early on, they wanted Anthony Hopkins to do the voice [of Frollo]. [We] did an animation test with a line of his from Silence of the Lambs.

Kirk Wise: We were thinking of Hannibal Lecter in the earliest iterations of Frollo. They made an offer, but Hopkins passed. We came full circle to Tony, because it had been such a good experience working with him on Beauty and the Beast. It was the combination of the quality of his voice, the familiarity of working with him, and knowing how professional and sharp he was.

Though the role of Quasimodo went to Tom Hulce (who did not respond to multiple requests for comment), there was one audition those involved haven’t forgotten.

Kirk Wise: We had a few people come in for Quasimodo, including Mandy Patinkin.

Stephen Schwartz: That was a difficult day. [laughing]

Kirk Wise: Mandy informed Alan and Stephen that he brought his own accompanist, which was unexpected because we had one in the room. He had taken a few liberties with [“Out There”]. He had done a little rearranging. You could see Alan’s and Stephen’s spines stiffen. It was not the feel that Alan and Stephen were going for. Stephen pretty much said so in the room. I think his words were a little sharper and more pointed than mine.

Stephen Schwartz: I’ve never worked with Mandy Patinkin. But I admired Evita and Sunday in the Park with George. He came in to audition for Quasimodo. When I came in, Ben Vereen was sitting in the hallway. Ben is a friend of mine and kind of a giant star. I felt we should be polite in terms of bringing him in relatively close to the time for which he was called.

Mandy took a long time with his audition, and asked to do it over and over again. If you’re Mandy Patinkin, you should have enough time scheduled to feel you were able to show what you wanted to show. However, that amount of time was not scheduled. At a certain point, I became a bit agitated because I knew Ben was sitting there, cooling his heels. I remember asking [to] move along or something. That created a huge contretemps.

Kirk Wise: Gary and I stepped outside to work on a dialogue scene with Mandy. As we were explaining the scene and our take on the character, Mandy threw up his hands and said, “Guys, I’m really sorry. I can’t do this.” He turned on his heel and went into the rehearsal hall and shut the door. We started hearing an intense argument. He basically went in and read Alan and Stephen the riot act. The door opens, smoke issuing from the crater that he left inside. Mandy storms out, and he’s gone. We step back in the room, asking, “What the hell happened?”

Gary Trousdale: I did a drawing of it afterwards. The Patinkin Incident.

Stephen Schwartz: Battleship Patinkin!

“Join the Party”

The darkness in the film made it difficult to market. Even some involved acknowledged the issue. In the run-up to release, Jason Alexander said to Entertainment Weekly, “Disney would have us believe this movie’s like the Ringling Bros., for children of all ages. But I won’t be taking my 4-year old. I wouldn’t expose him to it, not for another year.”

Alan Menken: There was all the outrage about Jason Alexander referring to it as a dark story that’s not for kids. Probably Disney wasn’t happy he said that.

Jason Alexander: Most Disney animated films are entertaining and engaging for any child with an attention span. All of them have elements that are frightening. But people are abused in Hunchback. These are people, not cute animals. Some children could be overwhelmed by some of it at a very young age. My son at the time could not tolerate any sense of dread in movies so it would have been hard for him. However, that is certainly not all children.

Don Hahn: I don’t think Jason was wrong. People have to decide for themselves. It probably wasn’t a movie for four-year olds. You as a parent know your kid better than I do.

If everyone agrees the score is excellent, they also agree on something that was not.

Alan Menken: God knows we couldn’t control how Disney marketing dealt with the movie, which was a parade with Quasimodo on everybody’s shoulders going, “Join the party.” [laughing]

Roy Conli: I always thought “Animation comes of age” would be a great [tagline]. I think the marketing ended up, “Join the party.”

Brenda Chapman: Marketing had it as this big party. And then you get into the story and there’s all this darkness. I think audiences were not expecting that, if they didn’t know the original story.

Kathy Zielinski: It was a hard movie for Disney to merchandise and sell to the public.

Gaëtan Brizzi: People must have been totally surprised by the dramatic sequences. The advertising was not reflecting what the movie was about.

Stephen Schwartz: To this day, they just don’t know how to market “Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame.” I understand what their quandary is. They have developed a brand that says, “If you see the word Disney on something, it means you can take your 6-year old.” You probably shouldn’t even take your 8-year old, unless he or she is very mature, to Hunchback.

Alan Menken: We [Disney] had such a run of successful projects. It was inevitable there was going to be a time where people said, “I’ve seen all those, but what else is out there?” I had that experience sitting at a diner with my family, overhearing a family talk about Hunchback and say, “Oh yeah, we saw Beauty and Aladdin, but this one…let’s see something else.”

Stephen Schwartz: I did have a sense that some in the critical community didn’t know how to reconcile animation and an adult approach. They have the same attitude some critics have about musicals. “It’s fine if it’s tap-dancing and about silly subjects. But if it’s something that has intellectual import, you can’t do that.” Obviously we have Hamilton and Sweeney Todd and Wicked. Over the years, that’s changed to some extent, but not for everybody.

Roy Conli: Every film is not a Lion King. [But] if that story has legs and will touch people, then you’ve succeeded.

Kirk Wise: We were a little disappointed in its initial weekend. It didn’t do as well as we hoped. We were also disappointed in the critical reaction. It was well-reviewed, but more mixed. Roger Ebert loved us. The New York Times hated us! I felt whipsawed. It was the same critic [Janet Maslin] who praised Beauty and the Beast to the high heavens. She utterly shat on Hunchback.

Don Hahn: We had really good previews, but we also knew it was out of the box creatively. We were also worried about the French and we were worried about the handicapped community and those were the two communities that supported the movie the most.

Will Finn: I knew we were in trouble when the first trailers played and audiences laughed at Quasimodo singing “Out There” on the roof.

Kirk Wise: All of us were proud of the movie on an artistic level. In terms of animation and backgrounds and music and the use of the camera and the performances. It’s the entire studio operating at its peak level of performance, as far as I’m concerned.

Gary Trousdale: I didn’t think people were going to have such a negative reaction to the gargoyles. They’re a little silly. And they do undercut the gravity. But speaking with friends who were kids at the time, they have nothing but fond memories. There were adults, high school age and older when they saw it, they were turned off. We thought it was going to do really great. We thought, “We’re topping ourselves.” It’s a sophisticated story and the music is amazing.

Kirk Wise: The 2D animated movies used to be released before Christmas [or] Thanksgiving. The Lion King changed that. Now everything was a summer release. I always questioned the wisdom of releasing Hunchback in the summertime, in competition with other blockbusters.

Paul Kandel: It made $300 million and it cost $80 million to make. So they were not hurting as far as profits were concerned. But I thought it was groundbreaking in so many ways that I was surprised at the mixed reviews.

Kirk Wise: By most measures, it was a hit. I think The Lion King spoiled everybody, because [it] was such a phenomenon, a bolt from the blue, not-to-be-repeated kind of event.

Gary Trousdale: We were getting mixed reviews. Some of them were really good. “This is a stunning masterpiece.” And other people were saying, “This is a travesty.” And the box office was coming in, not as well as hoped.

Don Hahn: I was in Argentina doing South American press. I got a call from Peter Schneider, who said, “It’s performing OK, but it’s probably going to hit 100 million.” Which, for any other moviemaker, would be a goldmine. But we’d been used to huge successes. I was disappointed.

Peter Schneider: I think it was a hit, right? It just wasn’t the same. As they say in the theater, you don’t set out to make a failure.

Don Hahn: If you’re the New York Yankees, and you’ve had a winning season where you could not lose, and then people hit standup singles instead of home runs…that’s OK. But it has this aura of disappointment. That’s the feeling that’s awful to have, because it’s selfish. Animation is an art, and the arts are meant to be without a price tag hanging off of them all the time.

Paul Brizzi: We are still grateful to Kirk and Gary and Don. We worked on [Hunchback] for maybe a year or a year and a half. Every sequence, we did with passion.

Gaëtan Brizzi: Our work on Hunchback was a triumph of our career.

Kathy Zielinski: There are certainly a whole crowd of people who wish we had not [done] the comedy, because that wasn’t faithful. That’s the main complaint I heard – we should’ve gone for this total dramatic piece and not worried about the kiddies.

Gaetan Brizzi: The only concern we had was the lack of homogeneity. The drama was really strong, and the [comedy] was sometimes a little bit goofy. It was a paradox. When you go from “Hellfire” to a big joke, the transition was not working well. Otherwise, we were very proud.

James Baxter: We were happy with what we did, but we understood it was going to be a slightly harder sell. The Hunchback of Notre Dame usually doesn’t engender connotations like, “Oh, that’s going to be a Disney classic.” I was very happy that it did as well as it did.

Jason Alexander: I thought it was even more mature and emotional on screen. It was an exciting maturation of what a Disney animated feature could be. I was impressed and touched.

“An Undersung Hero”

25 years later, The Hunchback of Notre Dame endures. The animated film inspired an even darker stage show that played both domestically and overseas, and in recent years, there have been rumors that Josh Gad would star as Quasimodo in a live-action remake.

Alan Menken: I think it’s a project that with every passing year will more and more become recognized as a really important part of my career.

Stephen Schwartz: This will be immodest, but I think it’s a really fine adaptation. I think it’s the best musical adaptation of the Victor Hugo novel, and there have been a lot. I think the music is just unbelievably good. I think, as a lyricist, I was working at pretty much the top of my form. I have so many people telling me it’s their favorite Disney film.

Alan Menken: During the pandemic, there was this hundred-piece choir doing “The Bells of Notre Dame.” People are picking up on it. It’s the combination of the storytelling and how well the score is constructed that gets it to longevity. If something is good enough, it gets found.

Paul Kandel: I think people were more sensitive. There was an expectation that a new Disney animated film would not push boundaries at all, which it did. For critics, it pushed a little too hard and I don’t think they would think that now. It’s a work of art.

Gaëtan Brizzi: Hunchback is poetic, because of its dark romanticism. We have tons of animated movies, but I think they all look alike because of the computer technique. This movie is very important in making people understand that hate has no place in our society, between a culture or people or a country. That’s the message of the movie, and of Victor Hugo himself.

Jason Alexander: I think it’s an undersung hero. It’s one of the most beautiful and moving animated films. But it is not the title that lives on everyone’s tongue. I think more people haven’t seen this one than any of the others. I adore it.

Peter Schneider: What Disney did around this period [is] we stopped making musicals. I think that was probably a mistake on some level, but the animators were bored with it.

Don Hahn: You know people reacted to Beauty and the Beast or The Lion King. They were successful movies in their day. You don’t know the reaction to anything else. So when [I] go to Comic-Con or do press on other movies, people started talking about Hunchback. “My favorite Alan Menken score is Hunchback.” It’s always surprising and delightful.

Kirk Wise: I’ve had so many people come up to me and say, “This is my absolute favorite movie. I adored this movie as a kid. I wore out my VHS.” That makes all the difference in the world.

Paul Kandel: Sitting on my desk right now are four long letters and requests for autographs. I get 20 of those a week. People are still seeing that film and being moved by it.

Alan Menken: Now there’s a discussion about a live-action film with Hunchback. And that’s [sighs] exciting and problematic. We have to, once again, wade into the troubled waters of “What is Disney’s movie version of Hunchback?” Especially now.

Jason Alexander: Live action could work because the vast majority of characters are human. The story of an actual human who is in some ways less abled and who is defined by how he looks, rather than his heart and character, is timely and important, to say the least.

Kirk Wise: I imagine if there were a live-action adaptation, it would skew more towards the stage version. That’s just my guess.

Stephen Schwartz: I think it would lend itself extremely well to a live-action movie, particularly if they use the stage show as the basis. I think the stage show is fantastic.

Kirk Wise: It’s gratifying to be involved in movies like Beauty and the Beast and Hunchback that have created so much affection. But animation is as legitimate a form of storytelling as live-action is. It might be different, but I don’t think it’s better. I feel like [saying], “Just put on the old one. It’s still good!”

Gary Trousdale: There were enough versions before. Somebody wants to make another version? Okay. Most people can tell the difference between the animated version and a live-action reboot. Mostly I’m not a fan of those. But if that’s what Disney wants to do, great.

Don Hahn: It’s very visual. It’s got huge potential because of its setting and the drama, and the music. It’s pretty powerful, so it makes sense to remake that movie. I think we will someday.

Brenda Chapman: It’s a history lesson. Now that Notre Dame is in such dire straits, after having burned so badly, hopefully [this] will increase interest in all that history.

James Baxter: It meant two children. I met my wife on that movie. [laughs] In a wider sense, the legacy is another step of broadening the scope of what Disney feature animation could be.

Kirk Wise: Hunchback is the movie where the final product turned out closest to the original vision. There was such terrific passion by the crew that carried throughout the process.

Roy Conli: It’s one of the most beautiful films we’ve made. 25 years later, I’d say “Join the party.” [laughs]

#long post behind read more #the hunchback of notre dame #hunchback of notre dame #notre dame de paris #victor hugo #interviews #disney #alan menken #stephen schwartz #quasimodo #esmeralda #frollo #phoebus #movies #movie history

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sugar-petals · 3 years

Text

:: Two Girls Dominating SuperM

↳ NOTE: Since sharin’ is carin’ 😋 Happy holidays! Get the list Santa cuz here go seven kinds of naughty. PS: I use different POVs here, whatever fits best.

words. 3.3k

warnings ⚠️ bondage, pegging, flexibility kink, sex toys, some switch!kai, rough sex, harnesses, oral (m giving), possessiveness, taemin’s evil lady kink, ice cream

⎡Taeyong⎦⇁ I think it’s time to reveal an unspoken truth about the pop industry. You ready? When Rihanna did S&M, a vision of Taeyong from the future whispered the lyrics in her ear. I swear to god. That’s exactly how it happened. Just the way we’d expect, dear Taeyong is gonna float in paradise. Not one domme ready to shake him up, but two? He can retire. Boy doesn’t need anything else. Except maybe a bit of cash to buy harnesses he can model but they’ll treat him to that anyway. That being said. Knowing that two fly madams in latex are ravaging his body at every chance they can get is gonna make him know he can die happy one day. Like, he truly lived. He won’t really hold back with restructuring a lot of parts of his life to let this dynamic unfold all the way. We’ve heard of his DIY skills. This sounds funny but Taeyong will design, paint, decorate, and maintain a special area for their play. Not necessarily just one room, he varies that. We know how gifted he is with interiors and domestic ideas, so. Prepare to get blown away by his sheer efforts. And man, the amount of spare time he can stretch to get a quickie out of that time window. Incredible. Even more interesting is gonna be the range. Taeyong can handle girls that dress up super differently every time, he goes along with any roleplay or character they come up with. He’s gonna be their little prince, their hotel boy, their waiter, their flight attendant, their Jack Dawson incarnate. And their dream boy altogether, cuz that’s what Taeyong is.

His frustrations are bound to work up over weeks if he is busy at SM, so finally seeing them again will have him so excited. And nervous. And so involved with preparing things for them, the perfectionist comes out. Can you imagine Taeyong donning his apron and preparing a four course menu for an entire afternoon? You bet he’ll pull that off. Butler Taeyong will be at full throttle. He’s gonna end up getting viciously fucked in the kitchen anyways. Like to the point where all his hair is a mess in his face and everyone ran out of breath. And seriously, he’s the type to completely surrender and place all trust in the girls. Which they know, and they’ll reward him so well. With things Taeyong loves best aka getting whipped and plowed. One of you could be binding him to a fucking machine and controlling the remote, the other marking his legs and upper back. The little bun gets terribly turned on if you push him on all fours for that and hold the nape of his neck in place so he can’t go anywhere. Consider your carpet ruined with semen. While Taeyong is busy recharging for the next round lying on the floor exhausted, you take polaroids.

⎡Baekhyun⎦⇁ Okay listen, I’ll tell you the secret. You can pull a complete duality on him. Baekhyun, getting nuzzled and snuggled and squeezed from all sides because he’s so sweet? Absolutely his jam. He got two hands to hold, after all. And two mochi cheeks to kiss, my friend, two of them. But also, getting a full dose of freaky stuff inflicted on him with some good music playing? This loud little fucker is going to levitate. These two raging girls can take complete control of his body and fool around to their liking. Grabbing his butt, feeding him cake, dressing him up or stripping him down, riding his face to oblivion. Like not just circling your hips. Actual sharp thrusting and making him forget the light of day. And using some cute pink ropes to string his pretty wrists from the ceiling as a treat. Only a matter of time until he’s an arching mess. As you already suspected: A giant dose of ass destruction is only one step away. Any toy suffices. At best, when he’s trying to beat a new high score and has to concentrate on the game. Nice challenge for his focus, he likes that. He wants to feel how he’s getting stretched out from all directions until it hurts so good. Screaming „Ah!“ is his favorite word. Maybe not too straps in one hole, that’s Taeyong territory, and Baekhyun’s ass is really tight generally, but spitroasting? His favorite pastime. Stuffed up and getting a load of extra hard thrusts. He can suck and gyrate all the way, all at the same time like he never did anything else. It’s gotta be hard and fast. I’m telling you, he’ll make it sloppy anyway.

Did he ever think he could get fucked up like this by a sexy tag team? Nope, he squarely thought he was undeserving. Now that he’s getting regularly suffocated and earns the praise for being so cute, Baekhyun is actually starting to believe he can ask for and enjoy that glorious wreckage. Because if there’s one thing he wishes for, it’s drowning in his own spit. These two are gonna be so territorial and wild, his dick and tongue are gonna threaten to fall off every night. How many condoms Baekhyun’s gonna fill, those will be record numbers, it’s like the album charts. Baekhyun’s a straight-up cum bank dairy cow extraordinaire when it comes to milking him dry. Like what did you think if two mommies feed him with all sorts of delicacies, all that juice is going to stock up and get ready to blow. And the amounts and types of collars Baekhyun’s neck is gonna be in: Whole lot, even with leashes attached. Oh god, they’ll strap him stupid with some dog ears on as a reward. Baekhyun’s prostate is gonna be a constantly spongy ruined mess, poor mochi gonna end up waddling around the kitchen to chug a liter of water at 3 AM.

⎡Taemin⎦⇁ You know who’s gonna be in his element. You just know it. Taemin is ride or die when it comes to wanting someone to be the boss of him. He’s not just dabbling in all that jazz to experiment, he’s livin’ and breathing it. Taemin’s imagination is the 3D version of AO3’s finest fanfics. Hell, he even imagines the sounds over and over, it’s gotta be 4D! He’s already crafted the most intricate fantasies for some seriously action movie-like roleplay. But let's start from the beginning. What’s on Taemin’s ever-wicked mind when he goes to sleep at night? Two intimidating ladies ganging up on him. Arriving on their black motorcycle at his house, flirting the living hell out of him, raiding his fridge, grinding on his lap in their biker gear, licking his face, taking his luxurious clothes off, calling him names, making him dance for him (that one’s a staple), biting down on his torso wherever they please, and having their way with him until it’s all one big orgy. Hell, probably on that motorcycle in the garage. Taemin pretty much getting one dry orgasm after the other because it’s the time of his life. Like, they’re really spoiling him. And he’s giving himself to them. That kind of scenario going down? To Taemin, that sounds like his wettest of dreams come true. He’s like yes, yes, yes and yes. A dynamic duo of sadistic girlfriends, that’s gonna leave him so shook and utterly addicted. Like he wants to get backed into a corner, bring on all the kabedon, Taemin goes all the way the way we know him. Nobody loves that fantasy more than him.

Now… the trick is. They’re actually really fun and sweet and pet his hair incessantly. You know, casually, doing daily life things. Cooing at him and getting all the sweetest princely kisses from their angel. My god, they’ll be so gently in love with him. But in the bedroom, it’s raw business. Taemin is gonna take is so hard, he’ll be seeing stars. That he’s getting slapped around — the thighs included, he loves that — while getting a handjob has to be the most orgasmic experience ever. Taemin is gonna bust fifty-thousand nuts over having his hair pulled by one girl and being choked by the other. Boy is he gonna be hard even if the pants stay on. What if he’s not the one grinding around this time. Two scary girls riding his lap, cuffing and belittling him — wow. Taemin never wants that feast to end. Getting roughed up at any occasion makes his day. He is needy, but the girls have all the cruel shit could ever ask for, and he has the stamina to handle all of it. And the class, he never loses his mystery. A fucking marathon with some pretty brutal bondage and impact play involved, no problem, he’ll last it. You can torture the soul out of him, he’s gonna be winding and gasping for more. Except maybe that his voice is gonna be pretty hoarse if they don’t gag his mouth for the most part. Man, Taemin is so vocal. This will have the ladies all runny beyond imagination. Nobody who meets him casually is gonna suspect it, but Taemin has the wettest dick in all of Seoul (unless Lucas is doing an allnighter) and no pliable brain left because he’s got is fucked out hard daily and he gave it daily. Now you know.

⎡Jongin⎦⇁ Kai is gonna act smug about this right from the start. He’s gonna be the guy who’s proud to show you off, walking around arms over your either shoulders, him right in the middle. Like hello, I’m experienced. The entirety of SM Entertainment is gonna have rumors circulating but nobody’s gonna be surprised. Little does he know you’re down to make his naughty lyrics come true. Kai is gonna get pegged and punished holding onto his dear oversized teddy bear. Literally, these two will have him burying his entire face there. Whimpering and high-pitched moaning like it’s time for EXO adlibs. His couch is large enough for three people, so. Somebody is gonna end up horny and crying. With his album on repeat because there’s no better music to fuck to, don’t kid yourself, you likely don’t, anyway. It’s Kai we’re talking about. He has sluttiness for days. Getting your hands on all that tall dark and handsome goodness is just all that you need as a domme duo. Have you seen how this guy moves just breathing and walking and cocking his head on the occasion… I don’t wanna know how far he can go in the horizontal realm to put it carefully.

But you gotta be ready for Kai’s aggressive side that wants to make things happen. If you like a struggle for dominance, this is the address. You two are just too tempting and delicious not to move around on his bed to assume new positions. And if Jongin doesn’t feel like snapping his dangerous hips into either of you, he’s lying. Kai is ready to fucking dick you down like it’s your birthday. He has to be taught to request and wait like a good boy, on his best behavior and his knees preferably. Yep, I think that Kai is a case for some extended training because he’s so impatient, with good reason, but he still needs to be put in his place. Which Kai likes because it means you go harder on him without restraint. Was it his goal all along? I can see one of the girls taking the role of speaking to him with his head in her lap. Giving commands occasionally, checking in. And the other, getting freaky on him with her instruments. Kai’s body is so sensitive and reactive, it’s gonna be fun to see him twitch and beg. Even something as simple as clamping his nipples will already do the trick. That’s when you have Kai begging.

⎡Ten⎦⇁ Believe it or not. Out of all people, he’s gonna be the one with the most doubts and insecurities — at first. It feels a little overwhelming to Ten because he doesn’t know what’s coming. You know that kind of facial expression he does when he is uncertain. Mind you: Having a whole bunch of people around him isn’t new to him. Bitch, he’s in NCT! A threesome is peanuts against that neo energy. It’s more like, the coordination, he doesn’t know how to act. He’ll be shy and big-eyed and doesn’t know what to say. The king of comebacks and clapbacks: Speechless. Let that sink in. The girls are dealing with the kind of guy who needs a lot of clarity and talk beforehand because he doesn’t have experience with it. It takes him to really know what the program is and damn he’s right about that. Ten really getting into what he’s signing up for is big-brained of him. He asks a lot of questions with an open-mind, but also care. But then again, we know how Ten’s confidence can skyrocket, and that he’s so secretly curious about those things he’s bursting with anticipation. And he knows what to ask for to really get someone going. Touch me, tease me, feel me up, am I right or am I right? He adapts so well to almost any circumstance in his life, it’s admirable. Totally up to the challenge once it goes down, he really grows into that. And I promise that particularly the physical part is absolutely his forte, that’s where he blooms. Ten can be easily taught through the genius of his body and he’s gonna love that.

Once things get hands-on and he finds himself with two girls mounting him, and on go the cat ears, he’s like oh my god this is great. The surprise factor is the biggest in the group here. Ten is gonna almost facepalm because he’s been worrying himself where there was nothing to be anxious about. Because he’s in his groove! Smiling and laughing and having a good time. No stress, just feeling so damn good. Probably with several super-size vibrating toys employed on him because that’s how Ten rolls, always taking the challenge. What a twitchy mess he’s gonna be, I can’t. The two ladies are gonna have a blast themselves bending him around and getting the best of the best erections out of him. Ten is totally gonna snack something while they’re fooling around as three. Or they’re stuffing him with delicacies, he’s gonna be so eager. But that’s not even a glimpse of what they’re gonna do! Ten is ready for almost everything, my friends. Tag teamed while dressed up as Alice? Likelier than you think. With the wig, that’s right. Ten is gonna be their good girl for one long night and truly love it. He obeys so well, spreads his legs like its nothing. It’s all gonna be a hell of a mess on his outfit though. If there’s one person ready to have cum all over him, that’s the right address. He’s throwing peace signs and pose for their phone cameras. Oh Ten, the legend you are.

⎡Lucas⎦⇁ Wong Yukhei… the entire concept that is him literally screams for it. Two people handling all that fucking hunk. So much space to work with, that body is a drug. Xuxi is one staggering big boy, his forehead is making love to any door frame. Lot of waist to grab (…like why is it shaped like that. Offensive!) lot of wrist to tie. And those long fucking model legs, for god’s sake, you just gotta do something with those for once. Get those thigh harnesses! Plus he’s a literal baby who’s all down to date girls his senior. Yukhei is a sucker for mad girls acting possessive over him. And he’s a handful, one fucking tease, one chaotic man. Two times the payback is just so much more appropriate. He can just get fucked and fucked and fucked some more. As is two times as much stimulation. You can imagine. Yes, all over his body. Grabbing his necktie and guiding him around this that (good shit) and caressing his face, and his back, and his chest, and his stomach, it’s so sexy to touch him there.

But let’s not lie. A certain somebody has cock and balls for two people. Lucas is one hell of a stallion. Lot of girth to make hard and to edge. That needs a duo of two unhinged girls, forces of nature, someone shy won’t do. It’s their job to make him shy and docile, not the other way around. Because Lucas enjoys being teased and flattered right back, and is more than fine with being toyed with, even playfully beaten up. You know he loves to be on the receiving end of bickering. Doesn’t mean he suddenly forgets to be an active party or just leans back. He has giant hands and knows how to use them, he’s chartered some major clit territory as well, remember that. That’s gonna be three people losing their fucking minds. Imagine all those luscious, raspy groans. Lucas never holds back, no filter, he knows what the ladies like. Drenched in sweat is all you’ll gonna be. And probably a whole bunch of lube because that’s the other thing the entire concept of Lucas is screaming for. The more ye know.

⎡Mark⎦⇁ Alright my friends. Cute Mark vibes different but that’s no secret. Boy’s gonna admit he’s really intimidated and shy, but so happy he’s gonna get sandwiched once he agrees to try it. It’s all a matter of courage. The girls will be the ones approaching him because they bought him ice cream, and the conversation starts from there, but it’s up to Mark to really set the mood. Oh boy, he’s not gonna stop blushing. This nerd with a girl on each side, that sure as hell looks great on him, I assure you. And if Mark Lee is your trophy rapper poly boyfriend, you truly made it, so. This is gonna be a dynamic right here. And the most fun, imagine the mayhem. He’ll talk his mouth off like his life depends on it. Mark doing sexy talk with two girls at the same time would be so entertaining. They will own his ass. Like wow… they’re making out with him, alternate with french kisses and putting their hands all over him, and ruin his face with ice cream. Mark would be so sexy to pull close by his collar.

And you bet it’s gonna slowly escalate from there, he’s tapping into some sides of him he never knew were there. Ice cubes down his chest, tongues down his mouth, hands in his hair kind of afternoon. As a brief and hilarious interruption, a shivering, horny as hell Mark takes a phone call from Johnny. Who, as you learn, is completely unsuspecting. „Hey, I’m at IKEA, uh. The living room section, actually. Should I buy the blue pillow or the yellow one? I can’t decide. They both have the same print on them, so.“ Mark is gonna blurt out that blue is probably gonna be a good idea and ends the phone call before anybody can moan into the speaker. Johnny is left confused at the other end of the line. The girls will end up teasing Mark that he said blue because that’s what his balls are for sure. Freudian slips, always glorious. Mark is not gonna deny that and ultimately ends up with his face between two cleavages — talk about melons, are we gonna kid ourselves — and two hands down his jeans. This is gonna need a lot of towels. Mark has never gotten this fucked up in his whole life and he is grateful. Watch out people, he’ll write a whole mixtape about this.

#superm #super m #super m smut #super m x reader #super m scenario #super m imagine #super m x dom!reader #poly!super m #baekhyun smut #taemin smut #taeyong smut #mark lee smut #ten smut #kai smut #yukhei smut

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kjack89 · 3 years

Text

Determination of Death (pt. 1/2)

Extremely self-indulgent, and the kind of angst I haven’t written in a long while. Because I was having a bad week and figured, hey, why not make it worse :)

I split it in two because it was getting long; second part should be posted sometime later this week.

Former E/R, modern AU. CW: car accident, major injuries, discussion of end of life care, referenced major character death. Y’know. The good stuff.

Joly sighed, staring longingly up at the clock in the emergency room as if he could somehow force it to jump ahead four hours to the end of his shift. Not that he would ever voice the thought out loud, since doing so was the surest way to jinx it, but it had been a quiet night, and this was his last scheduled overnight shift in the E/R for at least a few weeks.

He tapped his pen against the counter, idly wondering if he could maybe sneak out a few minutes early and surprise Bossuet with breakfast in bed. Suddenly, another doctor ran past, donning a trauma gown, and Joly immediately straightened. “What do we got?” he asked urgently.

“MVC,” the other doctor called over her shoulder, using the acronym to indicate a car crash. “Multiple victims incoming.”

So much for a quiet night.

Joly grabbed a trauma gown and followed her out into the ambulance bay to meet the ambulance that screeched to a halt, its lights blaring. “Unrestrained driver,” one of the paramedics reported. “Lost control of the vehicle and crashed head first into oncoming traffic. Nonresponsive at the scene, and we’re gonna need a tox screen – we think she might have been drinking.”

“I got this one,” his colleague told him. “Go deal with the second ambulance.”

Joly nodded and jogged over to the second ambulance. “What do we—” he started as the paramedic shoved a clipboard at him, but his question died in his throat as he saw who was strapped down on the gurney.

It was Enjolras.

The paramedic was telling him something but it was as if Joly had gone temporarily deaf as he stared down at Enjolras, barely recognizable from the injuries he had sustained. Joly catalogued all the injuries he could see with a sort of vague detachment as if he was seeing them on someone other than one of his closest friends, the man he had vowed to walk through fire for.

Penetrating head trauma. Multiple facial lacerations. Chest and pelvis crush injuries. Open tibia fracture. Almost guaranteed massive internal injuries.

It was a miracle Enjolras was still alive, and Joly’s hands started shaking so badly that he dropped the clipboard the paramedic had handed him. “Dr. Joly?” someone was asking, and Joly just shook his head violently and turned away to empty his stomach on the pavement of the ambulance bay.

Christ, he hadn’t puked at the hospital since he was an intern.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his still-shaking hand and straightened to find his colleague gripping his arm and staring at him with clear concern in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” Joly whispered. “I just...he’s a friend.”

Understanding crossed her expression, and she nodded. “Ok,” she told him, her voice calm, soothing. It was the voice they used for hysterical family members, and Joly hated her a little bit for using it on him. “Get in touch with his emergency contact, get them to the hospital. You can brief them when they get here, ok?”

“I want to help—” Joly started, but she shook her head before he could even finish his sentence.

“You’re not a doctor right now. You’re a loved one.” She hesitated for just a moment before adding, with genuine sympathy, “I’m so sorry.”

He hated her even more for that.

Then she was gone, she and the paramedics whisking Enjolras inside to do what they could – if there was even anything that they would be able to do.

And Joly had nothing left to do but to call Combeferre and tell him the worst news he had ever had to deliver.

----------

It was now four hours past when Joly had been supposed to get off of work, and there was no indication that he would get to go home anytime soon. All of Les Amis had trickled in during the night and were now all camped out in the waiting room, eager for whatever news Joly could tell them.

But unfortunately, he had nothing that he could tell.

He pulled his scrub cap off as he slowly made his way over to where they were all waiting, trying to school his expression to something less grim, but judging by the way Courfeyrac’s smile slid off his face as soon as he saw him, he hadn’t succeeded. “How is he?” Combeferre asked, scrambling to his feet.

Joly swallowed. “He’s alive,” he said shortly. “That’s all that I can tell you right now.”

Combeferre and Courfeyrac exchanged glances. “What the hell are you talking about?” Courfeyrac asked, uncharacteristically blunt. “What do you mean, that’s all you can tell us?”

“I mean that I am required to tell Enjolras’s family first before I can share any details.”

Combeferre’s expression was ashen but Courfeyrac’s eyes flashed. “We are his family,” he started hotly, but Combeferre shook his head and squeezed Courfeyrac’s arm.

“Pontmercy,” he said, a little hoarsely. “We need to call Marius. He’s everyone’s power of attorney, remember? He can authorize them to share medical details with us.”

Courfeyrac quickly dug his cellphone out his jeans pocket, dialing Marius’s number from memory. “Come on, come on,” he muttered urgently as he waited for Marius to pick up. “Come on, damnit.”

A pile of coats that had been tossed onto a chair suddenly seemed to stand up of its own accord, and Marius emerged from under them, blinking owlishly as he clearly had just woken up. “Sorry, m’here,” he said between a yawn, and Courfeyrac looked like he was torn between wanting to hug him or throttle him.

Combeferre didn’t let him do either. “You’re Enjolras’s power of attorney, right?” he said in clipped tones.

Marius ran a hand over his face and blinked once more before nodding. “Yes,” he said.

“Then tell Joly that he can share medical details about Enjolras with all of us.”

Marius winced. “Ah,” he said. “Um, there’s a bit of a problem with that. I’m Enjolras’s power of attorney for certain things, mainly related to his estate and his trust fund, but I’m not designated as Enjolras’s medical proxy.”

Courfeyrac looked between Marius and Combeferre, his eyes wide. “What does mean?” he asked, a little faintly. “Who would make the decisions if Enjolras didn’t designate a medical proxy?”

“Well, generally speaking, the closest blood relative would—”

“His parents?” Courfeyrac interrupted, horrified. “He hates his parents!”

Marius shook his head. “No, I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “The problem isn’t that Enjolras didn’t designate a medical proxy, so we don’t have to worry about that.” He winced again. “The, uh, the problem is that he did. And the designation is still legally binding.”

“Who?” Combeferre asked, his brow furrowed.

Marius just gave him a look. “You know who.”

Realization crossed Combeferre’s face, followed by something like rage. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

----------

Grantaire had been, up until that moment at least, thoroughly enjoying his evening. He had been hit on not once but twice at the bar, and had decided to take the second one, a thin, blond man (because Grantaire had always had a type, damn it), home for the night. They were right in the middle of making out like teenages on Grantaire’s couch when his phone rang.

Grantaire groaned and pulled away to reach for his cell, but the blond – Shane? Brendan? something? – pushed him back against the couch. “Ignore it,” he whispered before sucking on Grantaire’s earlobe.

He was only too happy to comply, but unfortunately, his phone had other ideas, ringing repeatedly until the best makeout session in the world wouldn’t have been able to hold his attention. “Let me just get rid of whomever this is,” he said, holding the man on his lap in place with one arm while reaching for his phone with the other. “Someone better be dying,” he said in lieu of a greeting, followed by a very confused, “Pontmercy?”

His brow furrowed as he listened to Marius, and he abruptly pushed the man off his lap, standing up and looking wildly around his apartment. “Yeah, ok,” he said. “Yeah, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He hung up and threw his phone down on his couch. “You need to go,” he told the guy he’d brought him, unusually brusque. “I have to get to the hospital.”

“Oh no, is everyone alright?” the guy asked, reaching out for him, but Grantaire brushed him aside, grabbing his shirt from where he had tossed it earlier.

“No,” he said shortly. “It’s my husband. He was in a car accident.”

“You’re married?” the guy asked, sounding almost offended by the thought.

Grantaire closed his eyes for a brief moment, wondering how he had got himself in the position of needing to explain this to a one-night stand. “No, I mean my ex-husband,” he said with a sigh.

“You’re divorced?” the guy asked, sounding even more disgusted by that.

“You know what, I don’t really have time to debate this with you, so while I’m sure you would have been a great lay—” Sudden pounding on Grantaire’s door cut him off and he groaned. “Great,” he sighed, hurrying over to open his door.

He was only a little surprised to see Combeferre standing there. “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering Marius’s phonecall,” Combeferre said shortly.

Grantaire rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, I did, and I’m getting ready to go to the hospital, so you can just—”

Before he could finish telling Combeferre exactly where he could go, the guy he’d brought home snuck past him, pausing to kiss his cheek and tell him breathlessly, “Call me when you’re back from dealing with your ex.”

Combeferre watched him leave, his expression stony. “Nice,” he told Grantaire, who rolled his eyes again.

“You have no right to judge me,” he snapped. “Enjolras and I have been divorced for longer than we were married, so I’m allowed to do whatever and whomever the fuck I want.”

“Yeah, well, about that,” Combeferre started, and Grantaire frowned.

“What?”

----------

“What?” Grantaire said, his voice cracking. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Marius quailed slightly under his glare. “Well, see, the thing about it is—”

“Enjolras and I got divorced!” Grantaire interrupted loudly. “I signed the damned paper!”

“You did,” Marius told him. “But Enjolras didn’t.” Grantaire’s mouth opened but no sound came out, and Marius continued, “He didn’t sign them, and he didn’t file them, so legally, you two are still married. And legally, you’re still his next of kin.”

Grantaire shook his head, but he still couldn’t seem to manage any words, and Marius reached out to grasp his shoulder. “We can talk through this more later but for now, Joly needs to talk to you.”

Without waiting for Grantaire to reply, Marius spun him around to face Joly, who looked exhausted. “C’mon,” Joly muttered, glancing at all their friends, who were staring expectantly at them. “Let’s talk over here.”

He jerked his head towards a meeting room off of the waiting room, and Grantaire numbly followed. Joly pulled the door open and stepped back to let Grantaire walk in first before following him in, closing the door after them. “So,” Joly started, but Grantaire shook his head.

“No, before you start, I just want to say…” He trailed off, then took a deep breath. “Despite the circumstances, it is really good to see you. I know Enjolras got you and Bossuet in the divorce, but—”

Joly let out what might have been a wordless sob, surging forward to wrap Grantaire in a fierce hug. Grantaire froze before slowly patting Joly on the back. Then, abruptly, his hand froze. “Wait,” he said, his chest tight. “This isn’t a good hug, is it.”

He didn’t say it like a question but Joly still shook his head as he pulled back, his eyes wet and red. “No,” he said hoarsely. “No, it’s not a good thing. It’s—” He broke off and shook his head, his tone turning professional. “It’s not good, R. Enjolras suffered severe internal injuries, but those—”

Again he broke off, but this time, he didn’t seem able to start again. Grantaire swallowed and nudged him gently. “But those?” he prompted softly.

Joly shook his head once as if to clear it. “The internal injuries were severe but probably not fatal,” he said tonelessly. “But he suffered massive head trauma. Part of his skull was broken in the crash and his brain swelled drastically, and likely irrevocably.”

Grantaire reached out wordlessly to grasp the back of a chair, his entire body shaking uncontrollably. “Oh,” he managed finally as he stared unseeingly at the wall in front of him.

Joly quickly wiped a tear off his cheek and cleared his throat. “I know that this isn’t what you expected to be dealing with, but as Enjolras’s next of kin, you have some decisions to make.”

“He’s an organ donor,” Grantaire said hollowly. “I don’t– I don’t know if, in his condition, any of his organs are—” His voice cracked. “—are viable, but if any of them are, he would want to donate that.”

“His heart, his lungs, maybe a kidney and part of his liver,” Joly said, giving Grantaire a watery smile. “He could probably donate those.”

Grantaire jerked a nod. “So then do it,” he said, more harshly than he intended.

Joly’s smile disappeared. “Unfortunately, it’s not that simple,” he said. “It’s...I mean, it’s complicated.”

Grantaire couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up from his chest. “No shit, Sherlock.”

“No, I don’t just mean because of you and him,” Joly said impatiently. “I mean, it’s complicated medically.”

Grantaire blinked. “How so?”

Joly wet his lips. “In order to donate organs, a patient must meet one of two conditions. The easiest one is brain death. But unfortunately, we don’t know if Enjolras is brain dead yet.”

“How do you not know that?” Grantaire demanded. “Aren’t there tests?”

“Yes, and we’ve run all of them, but the tests revealed limited functioning. It could just have been an artifact of previous brain activity, so we’ll run the test again in a few hours.” Joly took a deep breath. “But if the repeat tests should even just the slightest amount of functioning, we legally can’t declare him brain dead.”

Grantaire shook his head slowly. “Ok, so what does that mean?”

“It means that him signing up to be an organ donor won’t be enough.” Joly met his eyes. “It means we would need your consent to withdraw life-sustaining measures and allow cardiac death if you wanted to donate his organs.”

Grantaire’s eyelids fluttered closed, and a muscle worked in his jaw for a long moment before he finally managed, his voice sharp, “Fine, whatever, I consent.” He opened his eyes to stare fiercely at Joly as if daring him to say anything. “Do you need me to sign something, or—?”

Joly just shook his head. “Again, it’s unfortunately not that simple.”

“Why not?” Grantaire asked tiredly, feeling older than he ever had before.

“Because no matter how small a chance it is, if he isn’t brain dead, then there is still a chance—”

“That he could wake up,” Grantaire finished with sudden realization, and he hated himself for the way his heart leapt in his chest, hated that after all this time, the only person in the damn world who could still make him feel something like hope was Enjolras.

Joly nodded. “Yes,” he said. “He could live in a comatose state for...well, technically indefinitely. And there have been cases where someone has woken up after a month, or six months, or a year, or—”

“But what are the chances of that actually happening here?” Grantaire asked, harsher than he intended, trying desperately to quash the hope he could still feel rising in his chest, that there might still be time left with Enjolras, time to at least say goodbye and tell him he was sorry, time to tell him he still – that he never stopped—

“In my medical opinion…” Joly hesitated. “Not high. The trauma that his brain has suffered...and even if he woke up, I don’t think he would be Enjolras anymore.”

Joly’s words hit Grantaire like a punch to the gut, and he sagged, still gripping the chair with all his strength to keep himself upright. “So then that’s that,” he said, his voice trembling, just slightly.

Joly just nodded once. “Like I said,” he said quietly, “you have a choice to make. Not even just in regards to donating his organs, but in regards to if you think he would want to live like this.”

A laugh burst unbidden in Grantaire’s throat, an almost hysterical sound, because that had been one of the last things Enjolras had said to him before telling him he wanted a divorce – “I just can’t live like this anymore,” Enjolras had said, sounding tired, and sad, and more defeated than Grantaire could possibly bear. “And I don’t think you can either. Or maybe you can, but that doesn’t mean we should.”

So Grantaire had signed the papers to dissolve his marriage to the only man he had ever loved and moved out, leaving Enjolras, and Les Amis, and his entire life behind. He had thought that chapter was over, but now—

He realized a moment too late that Joly had asked him something and was waiting for his answer, and shook his head once to clear it. “Sorry, what?” he asked.

“Do you want to see him?” Joly repeated.

Again, the words were like a dagger in him. “Until about three hours ago, my answer to that question would have unequivocally been yes,” Grantaire said, his voice low. “But now, like this…” He shook his head again. “But I have to, though, don’t I?”

He meant it more rhetorically than anything, but Joly shook his head, sympathy clear in his expression. “You don’t have to,” he told Grantaire. “Not if you don’t want to.”

“I should though,” Grantaire said with a sigh, scrubbing a hand across his face. “I can’t make this decision without seeing him – without it being real.”

He couldn’t, because no matter how things ended between them, he would never be able to picture Enjolras as anything other than alive, and perfect, and the thought of making a decision about ending his life when that was how he envisioned Enjolras still was frankly laughable. Absurd. Like the world’s sickest joke.

So he needed to see him. No matter how much it would break what was left of him in the process.

“Ok,” Joly said softly. “Then I’ll take you back to him.”

#enjolras x grantaire #exr #enjoltaire #grantaire #enjolras #joly #combeferre #courfeyrac #marius pontmercy #fanfiction #part 1 of 2 #les miserables #former relationship #car accident cw #major injury cw #end of life care cw #major character death cw #angst #all the angst

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Don Rosa: “The Magnificent Seven (Minus 4) Caballeros!” or City Slickers 3: The Crystal City

Saludos Amigos, the Ride of the Three Caballeros returns! After some time off to take care of other seasonal commissions and to finally get the life and times fo scrooge mcduck back on a steady pace, everyone’s three favorite chappies in snappy serapes are back for another go round. This time i’ts back to comics one last time as we take a look at “The Magnificent Seven (Minus 4) Caballeros: which was the penultimate story from Duck Maestro Don Rosa, and as a result the final one set in present day, as while the next one would have a wraparound segment, it’s a flashback tiding up the one last bit of Scrooge’s past Rosa hadn’t clicked into place yet, and thus we’ll get to that eventually as part of life and times. And honestly it serves as a fittng and satisfying conclusion to Donald’s story.

The geneisis of this one is rather simple in comparison to “The Three Caballeros Ride Again!”. Don Rosa REALLY enjoyed writing TTCRA, wanted to have another adventure with Donaldo and his boys, and given the previous story was a huge hit likely had no trouble convincing his publisher. And since he set the first story in Panchito’s home country of mexico, it only made sense to have the next story in Jose’s home country of Brazil. Adding to it Rosa specifically wanted to avoid using the amazon rainforest this go round, as to him pretty much every story involving Brazil focused on the massive and wonderful rainforest. And while a great setting, Rosa knew there was much more to the country and wanted to show it off. And to his credit.. he’s 100% right as i’ve seen dozens upon dozens of stories set in the rainforest but not nearly as many set ANYWHERE ELSE IN BRAZIL. If their lucky we get to see Rio, but that’s about it. So kudos to Rosa for wanting to display more of a beautiful country and show it had more to offer than merely it’s biggest attraction. As for what treasure they’d be after, the lost city of crystal stuck out to him, having been described in a goverment document that was so degraded when it was found there wasn’t much left to go on and searched for by a famous explorer who was the basis for indiana jones whose name I forgot but we’ll run into his name again later. So yeah not as much setup here and what tiny bit is left can be covered when we get to our villian. So with all that out of the way, let’s ride on!

We open with Scrooge firing Donald and throwing his ass out on the street, berating him for screwing up and then telling him to be back early tommorow to make up for his firing. Then Gladstone literally walks all over him becausae he’s a jackass, and Daisy then shrieks at donald for you know, being stuck on the floor, having messed up the shirt she ironed for him without.. actually you know asking for context, HITTING HIM, then telling him to pick her up for dinner at the ritz.

It’s like this intro was perfectly designed in a lab to piss me off. All three of the characters who on a good day ar excellent but on a bad are outright monsters, at their worst, treating Donald like crap, i.e. the reason to call them monsters, and generally abusing him for flimsy reasons. And again Daisy HIT DONALD. No that’s not right, she shoryukened his ass! She upercutted him! God damn. And her just casually doing that is played for laughs. In a lesser Rosa story this would only get worst and be “oh haw haw”.. instead... to my delighted suprise.. this is all treated seriously. Yeah really. Instead of being treated for laughs like normal, and not being a dark enough work comedically to make it work like say It’s Always Sunny, Donald is seriously depressed, beaten down phsycially and mentlaly and when the boys, who’ve been present for all of this and tried to help him up off the ground, ask why he takes this.. the answer is pretty damn bleak.

Just.. holy shit that’s dark.. and I applaud Rosa for not only recognizing this isn’t always funny, but for actually tackling it. And I will grant Donald being a butt monkey CAN be funny, especially when it’s caused by his own ego. It’s the basis of his entire career. It’s good stuff. My issue has been more that Rosa sometimes dosen’t get that either some aspects have aged poorly, even by the 90′s, and thus dosen’t adjust them or play them more for drama, sprinkling a bit of that in with the comedy. So to see him do that HERE, to acknowledge in some way his own faults and do something with them.. i’m very proud of him and it warms my heart that he could do something like this that shows he could grow and change, even SECONDS from the end of his career, but with no intention of ending his career at that point or even after finishing his next and last story. It just ended up happening that way and as such this story carries even more weight as for all intensive purposes, this is the final tale of Donald Duck for Don Rosa’s Barksian universe. This is the last big tale before whatever triggers Scrooge’s retirement, the last tale he wrote in the here and now. And while not perfect for some reasons we’ll get to from a character perspective? It’s a pretty good note to go out on.

Anyways Donald somehow makes this SADDER by mentoing, when Huey, Dewey or Louie tries to make him smile that he hasn’t smiled in some time before sadly loping off to make their dinner before buying daisy’s.

Yeah... I just.. I need a moment.... Here’s my asistant iwth an important message

Okay i’ve regained my composuer.. and yes I will be shwoing that off at every opportunity. I have generous friends. Now where were we? Ah yes with their uncle in a depression hole, can relate, they figure he needs a nice gift to get him out of it. The boys think he needs friends.. and of course the boys come to mind, though the fact their on the other end of the contient proves a problem.. but Huey, Dewey or Louie has a solution and takes the boys to the Woodchucks because of course they do> Their primary go to for anything is the guide which to be fair contains the entire sum of the world’s knowledge in a guidebook.

So the boys, with the other two likely filled in on the way, plan becomes clear when they stop by Woodchuck HQ and talk to the guy in charge of the badge department, which ahs a fun acronym because of course it does, this is one of Rosa’s faviorite running gags and mine as well.. I just don’t have it in me stamina wise to type the whole thing out. Point is the boys ask that Donald be used as courier for a special shipment of badge’s to Rio. The authority guy is understandably a bit reluctant to give a non-woodchuck this duty, but the boys remind him that in a previous story, not sure if it’s barks or rosa’s, Donald apparently not only found the last remaning pieces of fort duckberg but saved them from the mill. As a result the Fort, which was the original HQ of the woodchucks until Scrooge threw them out, was apparently rebuilt. So the guy in charge is more than willing to not only give donald the duty, but an open ended plain ticket, i.e a vacation. The Nephews do have to guilt him a bit more to get donald a condsensed pamphlet based on the brazil chapter of the guidebook which at this point seems like overkill. Just.. buy him a guidebook boys. IT’s a bit much to ask that a portion of your heavily guarded and protected text be given to your uncle for a vacation and seems like a tad of a stretch but the gag, including the boys getting badges in guilt and convincing, makes it work.

So after the boys set off to telegram the rest of the Cabs, we cut to donald arriving in rio, passing christ the redeemer on the way

The Rio Woodchucks greet donald and take the package for him, giving him new orders to go by cable car to the observation deck atop Sugar Loaf Mountain. This is a real mountain in Brazil and frustrated Rosa because he couldn’t find any pictures of what the station looked like in the 1950′s, despite as he put in his notes having eager fans from the region, researchers and other contacts try to find it, settling for having vintage cable cars pulling into modern stations he got from photos from said contacts. If I hadn’t said it before i’ll say it now the man is a BEAST when it comes to getting things acurate, only bending it if it helsp the story and still making sure his drawings are as accurate as possible. It’s one of Rosa’s most adimirable traits.

Donald took a Donde, some form of streetcar there, hanging on the back and .. uh I have no words for this..

Donald Duck ran into a horse and it farted in his face. Just... why though. This horse naturally is Senior Marteniz, with Panchito currently being thrown out of a cable car for trying to put his horse in there which is fair. What isn’t is people having an issue with his hat. I mean.. people wear hats. I know it’s a bit big for the tight fit of the cable car but still it’s a bit weird to throw a strop about anywhere outside a theater or sports place where he’d be actively obstructing people’s view. And it appears to be the same weirdly crazy asshole.. Imean again the horse thing is resonable but calling it a “crazy hat” I mean yes it’s a big hat.. but ... you you do know mexico exists right? And sombreros? or other cultures at all you weirdly specific douche?

At the top, after a quick and funny hat swap gag, Panchito reveals the triplets called him here.. as did Jose who assuemd it was lovely senorita.. who uppercuts him. And it’s STILL more reasonable to uppercut some rando hitting on you, if not by much, than Daisy’s Domestic Abuse. Anyways the three put things together and Donald realizes via flashback the boys hoped his smile would return and said he’d have help.

Donald, being utterly beaten down by life, apologizes.. but it turns out the boys needed this as much as he did. Jose’s night club career is flopping hard, with his agent unable to get him bookings and Panchito has barely scraped any money together for his ranch dream from last time. It’s a nice touch: That the boys , while having more exciting careers have just as much strife as Donald does and as much problem. It helps make them feel as real as donald, as characters with their own lives and adventures outside of him and their own wants and needs and it really helps the story come alive. Jose however has some suggestions to escape their blues.

But Panchito suggests instead they go for some adventure and go diamond hunting in the plains of brazil, which the two agree to.. and Donald’s a big gung hoe about carving his way through human flesh.. just jesus man.. get a therapist. Your Ducktales counterpart did and he seems mildly well adjusted. So the adventure is on.. and they all toss their hats.. off a mountain. First thing on the provisoins list hats. Before we head on I just wanted to point out even though most of my audience here is likely unaware the movie exists that this Comic honestly reminds me of the 1991 comedy City Slickers starring Billy Crystal, Daniel Stern and Bruno Kirby. If your struggling on the name Daniel Stern, think Marv from Home Alone.

No.. the RIGHT marv. I may not be a huge fan of Home Alone but we respect Daniel sterns in this house. And yes if you didn’t know French Stewart played Marv in one of the sequels now you do. And i’m sorry you know that.

There we go. Right Marv and Wrong Dad from Christmas story. Back on point City Slickers is a terrific comedy I finally saw a few weeks back about three friends all facing mid life crisises, with Billy Crystal being unsatisfied with his career and undsure WHY he does, Daniel Sterns having cheated on his shrewish wife with one of his employees whose also now pregnant, and Bruno Kirby being a ladies man whose faced with the prosepct of settling down, go for a weeks vacation to a cattle drive, as Brunos character tends to set up these trips but this time they actually need it. They encounter cows, assholes and a cowpoke named Curly. It’s pretty good.

But yeah they both feel kinda similar, if with far less drama and crumbling marraiges on the cabs end because you know, this is for children. I’m pretty sure it’s just a concidence but given Rosa’s love of film, even if it’s more 30′s and 40′s films, and how the City Slickers seems right up his alley, I wouldn’t he suprised if he saw it and simply took some slight inspiration from it. Either way the similarity makes me giggle a bit. Again the plots aren’t all the same but the basic setup is about the same, complete with the main character’s family making sure he goes. It’s a bit of a stretch but I thought it was pointing out and while this review is comissioned, how I go about it isn’t so if I want to take a few paragraphs to compare this to an excellent comedy you should defintely see with two underated actors, maybe three i know nothing of bruno kirby other than the man had horse allergies and thus had to take heavy medication every day so good on him, and a lot of fun.

So our premise and pastiche firmly in place, our heroes fly out to the frontier to adventure and Donald even thought ahead on them needing two more mounts and bought them from the local farmer for 100 bucks: It turns out their a llama, who jose takes and an old ox which donald reluctantly takes and wonders how to steer.. which I just got the double pun. Nice touch.

So our heroes head on with Donald expressing suprise they aren’t in the jungle like the movies, Jose correcting him, you get the bit he’s going for. But as they travel Donald not only breaks out the pamphlet but also , once jose mentions finding el dorado, casually mentions he and Scrooge already found it in columbia, and when Jose incrediously mentions that maybe he also already found the lost mines of the incas.. turns out yeah they did that too. Dont’ know if it was a barks or rosa story for either, since I didn’t check that part of Rosa’s notes, but it brings the scene into greatness as the boys not only belivie donald and figure he’s not pulling their legs.. but marvel at his life. And it’s here Donald smiles a bit.. he’s already got his smile back realizing that as miserable as his life can be.. he’s still seen and done things no man, even his globetrotting pals, has sever done before or sense. Found long lost places, solved mysteries and rewrote history.. sometimes literally sometimes in the “found things that changed historical knowledge” sense. Point is.. he realizes he has more to his life than he thought and maybe it isn’t so miserable after all.

Donald also mentions the local waters are filled with stuff and the other Cabs mounts quickly climb on his continuting the gag of the Cabs assuming donald’s some big expert by accident. For me personally it varies in how funny it is, sometimes it’s grating othertimes it’s genuinelly pretty good, your mileage will vary. We then get a page and a half of slapstick with various animals and this gag repeated and it’s eh. Not bad, and there’s a REALLY great visual bit where donald gets squeezed by an anaconda and not only is he comically and tightly squeezeled, but it takes a few panels for it to wear off. Other than that not bad stuff but nothing especially new or really that funny.

Our heroes soon find a pit trap.. and a capybara in said pit trap.. which I also give myself credit for recognizing on sight. Who dosen’t like a good capybara? Their basically a large brazillian rodent if you were curious. Donald asks what can they do and hte boys take it as a secret test of character, and not just donald being kind of lost and decide to help free trapped animals instead of treasure hunt which Donald, much like his entire life, just reacts to with “what what are we doing now?”. But they manage to free the greatful Capybara and we get this inspired bit.

Naturally the sheer confusion of seeing this as well as being confronted with the relaly bizzare nature of his world, i.e. having both a rodent whose an old friend and one that’s clearly just a regular animal causes Donald to fall into the hole. He’s soon found by the natives.. and here we get one of the worst aspects of this story and one I honestly didn’t expect to encounter given Rosa’s research: Calling these indgeinous people’s.. “indians”. Yes really.

We were in 2004 by this point, and even in the cultural cesspool of the early 2000′s, a time where micheal jacksons actions towards children were used for reams of jokes and where R.Kelly got off for the same just because “he makes the good musics”. What i’m saying is even in this time in history, we knew better than to use the term indian and I remember distinctily the term native american being in my text books even at this point as a kid. So Rosa, a world traveled knowledgable adult.. has no excuse for this, not even “It was the 50′s when this was set and they’d used this” as while he had Scrooge being mildly racist in “The Empire Builder from Callisota”, he didn’t you know, have scrooge use the fucking n word or other slurs during the story because you know that’s racist and he knows it’s racist. I’m coming down so hard on him because I expect BETTER. I can, even if it bothers me and I will give out about it, KINDA ignore the daisy stuff because domestic violence against men wasn’t as wellk nown, so while it dosen’t play well and I won’t pretend to enjoy it I can at least understand why rosa thought this was funny when it isn’t> This? The man clearly should know better, should know to use correct terms, and is usually better about this, but just isn’t here and for one of his last stories it’s REALLY depressing to see a man I have a ton of respect for fail this badly. It’s just a small element of hte story but it really sticks out badly and says bad things about an otherwise good man. Even a good man can really fuck up and Don.. honestly really fucked up even when, normally his portryal of indigneous people’s is really good.. and is for the rest of the story. This is just a really bad if really easy to miss bit I feel he deserves some flak over it. He knew better. This story proves he knows better in other ways and knows indgenous people deserve resepect. He just dosen’t show it in his laungauge and it’s disheartaning.

Anyways, the Natives drop donald off with their cheif.. who turns out to not only speak perfect english, but has a rather nice modern setup and clothes. He’s the son of the former cheif whose dad, using a secret crystal city with a rich mine, paid for his son to go get an education in the US and hopefully bring back knowledge for his people. Instead all he learned was to be a greedy selfish asshat who calls his own people “savages”. This is what i’m talking about: While the indian thing is bad and Rosa should feel bad.. the rest of the story does treat these tribal peoples with genuine grace and care, as our main villian is shown as one partly because rather than respect his culture and simply use thenew knowledge of the outside world to help his people by educating them, bringing back new techniques and medcidnes while mixing it with thier old culture, the bastard prince simply wrote them off as savages and used his new learnings to rule them and get them into trapping, a buisness i’ts later made clear at the end of hte story they don’t like and only followed him because he’s their chief. And it dosen’t even come off as them following him as chief because their stupid, mainly just because of tradition and knowing they can’t escape him and he’d just find htem and find some way to cowtow them. The tribe here are innocent victimes forced into a life they don’t want by an asshole who became a colonizer instead of a hero and leader to his people and simply wants to sell them out as soon as possible to fiance a fancy and comfy life for himself. The bad guy here is recycled from Rosa’s pre scrooge work, and works well here and honestly.. is a good villian and a good antagonist, something Rosa struggled with sometimes when not just using what barks made. He’s a chillingly realistic villian: someone who would step on where he came from instead of helping it and again treats these people as simple victims forced to be minons by circumstance and as the end of the story shows, and we’ll get to that, not nearly as stupid or “savage” as this cruel bastard thinks. And naturally being a cruel bastard, Chief, since his name isn’t given, plans to ransom donald as he naturally has no hangups about selling people AND rare animals. Thankfully Donald’s only a prisoner for a bit as Donald’s ox makes a back door and with the help of their mounts the boys free all the trapped animals and escape.. with Senior Martinez accidently taking the Chief’s necklace. Turns out that’s the sigal that signals his right to rule, so he figures if the tribe finds out it’s missing they’ll rightfully dump his ass and tells them to give chase, which the cabs find out about via a wild parrot. It’s better not to ask.

So our heroes head into the wilderness to loose them and find a rocky slope, making their way up to some more plains. They now have both a high vantage, and a place to set up camp so do so. They also found out Martinez took the necklace, and now know why the chief is after them, but Panchito decides to keep it for now till they can figure out what to do with it. SO over the camp fire Donald decides that if they can find this lost mine that the Cheif’s dad used to go to, they won’t need to look for diamonds the hard way and Jose’s skepticism is rebuffed by the fact that Donald’s found plenty of lost cities with scrooge. So donald brings up the legend of the crystal city, with the guy who found it being colonel percy fawceet, and brings up more adventures you get the bit by now. Point is he mentions a crystal arch lighting up at night to ward off intruders.. and sure enough our heroes happen to be right by it, complete with a crystal road that simply had been covered by shale over the years. Donald decides to get some rest and head out in the morning, with a valid explination as to why not to worry about hteir perusers till then: It’s so dark that even if they left a trail, they can’t follow.. which the evil cheif agrees to though he finds the trail they dug up, pointing as an arrow and now realizing his dad’s treasure was real, plans to naturally exploit the hell out of it. So the next morning, bright and early, our heroes have built a raft, and are greatful they looked in first as the waters are stalked with dangerous predatory creatures. How htey haven’t all killed each other, I do not no, but it looks cool so i’ll shut up now. So our heroes leave their mounts behind and head in up the stream via the raft and find the massvie and awe inspiring lost city.. as for why it hasnt’ been found they soon figure out why: THe stream in is dangerous, and jose figures it was delebratly packed with dangerous animals, and thus few would think to go in there, and the only ohter way up is scaling the cliffs it’s build into, but as the cities built into the sides of said cliffs, no one can see it from a distance. It’s a birlliant way to justify just WHY something remained lost and somthing barks is tremendous at. Our heroes soon find though that the canal go deeper and approaches a water fall.. and thus jump off loosing their only way back and thus heading in deeper to see if they can find another way out. Meanwhile the Cheif has found the swamp and recongizes his dad mentoning it and being a greedy jackass, and suddenly realizing that maybe his people won’t want to loot the city their swarn to protect, tells them to guard the Cabs mounts while he goes on ahead.

Our heroes journey deeper into the unknown and after coming across pick axes mine carts and the like find the mines of fear.. lit with crystals and with wall to wall gems. So they’ve sucessful founds the lost minds of ophir, set up by one of king solomon’s realtiives. The actual King Solomons Mines had been found in a barks story, naturally and is also likely the basis for the african mines level in the ducktales game.

Donald being donald.. ends up sitting on a giant anaconda who swallows him whole as he dosen’t realize just how big the thing is when his pals mention it to him, and only escapes through Dumb Luck, as is the duck family way, lighting a match and causing the Anadonda to spit him out and run... unfortunately not only does Panchtio loudley announce he dosen’t have his pistols, The Chief shows up with a gun. Naturally he intends to plunder, because jackass you see, and intends to leave the cabs stranded, with the anaconda picking them off one by one when they inevitibly have to sleep while he’ll come back with inflatable rafts and boats to loot the rest. The cabs bemoan the fact that their fucked.. and then this happens.

So with that Donald FINALLY snaps, tired of taking the world’s shit and determined not to be the looser everyone around him but his boys clearly think he is. Seriously Donald.. dump. her. ass. It’d also tell you to dump gladstone in a shallow ditch but given your love for hacking through human flesh and his luck I don’t want you to impale yourself. So thus.. Donald stops getting polite and starts getting badass.. shouting THAT’S THE LAST STRAW BEFORE.. .. welll...

Bad. Ass. Also who knew Donald was part Kree? Wait .. how though? Questions for later. So as Donald gives the asshole his RICHELY deserved asshole a beat down, the anaconda pops up and grabs the boat.. with Donald STILL fighting the Chief the whole time. Holy shit. If this is your last time writing a character in a lead role what a note to go out on holy jesus. The cabs however show their CLOSE to as badass with Panchito roping the anconda and Jose attacking it once it curls around.. and unlike last time where his umbrella was quickly disarmed, here the Anaconda eats the tip.. only for Jose to expand it and on Panchito’s command, hook the damn thing. I didn’t relaize till writing this up just HOW badass this story’s climax is.. just holy shit this is awesome incarnate.

Donald ends up loosing the fight eventually as asshole whomps him on the head with the gems.. and sends donald flying, destroying the gate regulating the water thanks to freeing the anaconda. As a result asshole escapes.. for about five seconds till he drops over the falls, presumibly to his MUCH deserved death and even if he surivives, likely wont’ for long without anything to defend himself. Goodbye asshole, you were a good villian but you’ll be better tarantula chow.

Our heroes are still stranded.. but Panchito notices the Anadconda escaping and well... he decides to equal donald in badassery. Again..words do not do this justice.

Our heroes disembark, and find that the tribe has been held at bay by the noble steeds, and as I mentioned earlier, and why despite the frequent use of .. that word i’ve said enough already, this story isn’t too bad. The tribe, once free.. are perfectly intellegent and nice, only in the game because of tradition that asshole abused. Their going to head deeper into the valley on the offchance asshole makes it back so he can’t find them. So the tribe is free and seeing the emblem as the symbol of their opressor and not wanting it, they can likely make a new necklace honestly just without the gems, Panchito gets to keep it. So our heroes won, the adventure is over and our heroes head back to rio

In our final scene we get our wrap up with our heroes back in Rio to enjoy what’s left of their vacation.. which given the scope of events only two days of it have passed so far, so it’s nicely implied they have a day or two before Donald has to go back where he can just.. enjoy himself. Have an actual vacation now his soul is whole again. Our heroes went to the authorities, and it turns out the Chief was one of the most infamous trappers in Brazil, and is now again either dead or in no way shape or form easily able to come back into the country.. and when he does, he’ll now have every officer in the country on his ass.So in short he’s pretty fucked and i’m pretty happy about that. Naturally our heroes dont’ get to keep the mines, because well... it belongs ina museum.. or to become a museum and cultural landmark and the boys know and respect that. But Jose and Panchito both still got something out of the deal: for starters they have their confidence back, as seeing tthey could keep up with donald after realizing what a legend their friend is restored their own weary souls. Meanwhile, Jose’s newfound fame as the man who found a new brazilian cultural touchstone means his agent was able to get him booked up for a year, while Panchito , after consulting with the good senior martenez, decided ot keep the broach, and use it to get their ranch. And Donald? What did he find?

Donald found his smile again. He’s found himself again. After letting life beat him to near death, to just a souless shell. he’s found the real Donald. He’s realized that despite Scrooge’s finaical abuses he lives a rich full life. It’s part of why I compared the story to city slickers. While Donald’s life is far worse off than Billys, like him he finds himself again after the rousing adventure. And who knows what his future holds? Given Scrooge’s grave picture, yes Rosa drew that, he probably does marry daisy and work for the old bat.. but maybe now he can fight back, refuse to let htem walk all over him and actually find a healthy relationship with daisy and with his uncle before his uncle finally retires to Goldie’s loving arms. I could be wrong, it could be same as it ever was just he gets angry again.. but I like to think of something better for our boy. A better life and one more fufilled and more happy and one where he finally finds his pot of gold. He may not of found it yet but well.. there’s always another rainbow and he realizes that now just as his uncle did years ago. Donald is finally whole again to find his hapniess and a better life. Maybe with daisy, maybe with scrooge, maybe without them. Probably without Gladstone because he needs to cut that tumor out of his life, but still, he’s found himself and sometimes that’s all you need to find your purpose. So with that warm thought in my head our heroes play us out one last time. Well not for the restrospective obviously but still.

Final Thoughts; While I do prefer the previous story, on going through this again for the review, I did find this story utterly charming and a great way to send off our boys and Donald for Rosa’s work. While again that one word is very unfortunate and Rosa should’ve known better, otherwise the story is pretty imaculate, using history to build a thrilling story with tons of character and a tremendous arc for Donald. And as I said the villian is excellent and overally the story is pretty great. Maybe held back a bit by the racisim, but the rest of the story is so joyous, badass and well crafted, it’s easy enough to override the less savory aspects. Dosen’t mean they didn’t need to be noted it just means this story is magificent and as usual for Rosa’s work I recommend it.

Next time on the Ride of the Three Cablleros: We go to Disney Juinor for Mickey’s Perfecto Day! ..... whelp at least it’s a short one.

And if you’d like to comission your own review, their just five bucks, jsut direct message me, tell me what you’d like, and I will send you the link on my paypal and get to it asap. Thank you so much for reading and have a happy holiday.

#the three caballeros #donald duck #Jose Carioca #panchito pistoles #don rosa #duck comics #the magnificent seven minus 4 cablleros #the 2000's #comics #reviews #scrooge mcduck #daisy duck #huey duck #louie duck #dewey duck #gladstone gander

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the-shared-brain-in-retrograde · 3 years

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Iron Man

A joint review...

We finished watching the film last night and then had a quick phone call debrief. For a film we both agreed was three and a half stars there was some raised voices...

@becksxoxo : Do we need to include some sort of trigger warning for the heated discourse that will inevitably happen at some point? Because I'm still a bit traumatised. #whenthesharedbraindisagrees

@cassandrafey : I think it was a civilised argument. A constructive and respectful disagreement. Which was a miracle because we both have a lot of feelings and it could have become firey and in many respects we are airing our difference nicely in the way I said they should have done in Civil War.

We should also mention that we were 18 when this film came out, and so some of the aesthetic properly hits different. That camera, the mention of MySpace. Tony is deffo in bootcut jeans at some point (as were other people today as it turns out.)

Cass: Look Becks don’t come for me like this, my other jeans were more hole than jean (why did I keep them? The leg almost wasn’t attached!) so we work with what we’ve got and what we had got was a forgotten pair of bootcuts just like style icon Tony Stark.

We can all agree the opening to this film is brilliant, and unexpectedly violent. We also whole heartedly agreed that Tony looks better roughed up and bloodied a bit. But it would be awful to wake up and find you had a big hole and a magnet now in your chest.

@cassandrafey : I would like to add that I think the opening to this film is brilliant. It opens with Back In Black for a start, which is just such a banger, it’s like ‘yes announcing we are here!’ In the space of five minutes it shows you so much about Tony’s character, he’s kind of a dandy, you can tell from his look and his drink he has money, he’s kind of a smart mouth but he’s also very personable and gets along with people easily. You don’t exactly like him but you want to watch him anyway. And then BOOM! Explosion! Instant peril! Ready for character development! Great stuff.

Tony Stark: Visionary. Genius. American Patriot.

Arms dealer...

@becksxoxo does not find the charming in Tony Stark, but is trying very hard to be nicer to him as a character. Very hard. And I understand that this opening is setting us all up to be like, oh that Tony Stark, what a horrible man, so he can be redeemed or whatever, but I don't get why the women are throwing them selves at it. Vanity Fair, have some self respect. Also, air steward ladies, just chill out. why is there a pole on a plane? Its all so tonally different from the rest of the films in the MCU. And again, I KNOW, its showing him growing at what not, but as my good friend Chris Evans would say, I don't wike it.

@cassandrafey Does see the charm in Tony, but still in this instance found it wild that the Vanity Fair lady went from slightly aggressive dislike to sleeping with him when the chat up line was relatively bad.

It was startling to see not our Howard Stark in the photos, and Terrence Howard instead of ol Don Cheadle, but a delight to see our Jon Favreau, and hear dear dear Jarvis.

We have a couple of Interior Design based questions.

There was a lot of fireplaces in the LA houses, and being from the North of England we questioned the necessity of fireplaces in California. We went to LA in February and it was bloody boiling, is an open fire really necessary?

The other one was, is a big statement water feature wall something you would actually want, or would it be quite annoying and make you need the toilet?

I do anything and everything Mr Stark requires. Including occasionally taking out the trash.

Pepper Potts. Really enjoy the character, really don't enjoy the actress.

@cassandrafey I agree. Feelings on Gwyneth and the fact that Pepper Potts is a very silly name aside, I like the relationship between her and Tony because she does give him good sass, and thankfully is very practical and organised. It’s a shame she didn’t get her dry martini with all the olives.

Q1. What would you buy yourself with Tony Stark's money for your birthday?

@becksxoxo Disney Golden Pass. Between his money and himself I would wrangle myself that lifetime disney parks pass.

@cassandrafey when Becks asked me this in our debrief all I could think was chocolate. A massive chocolate fountain. However, in hindsight maybe I would like to hire a party venue and a DJ (although I will very much have heavy sway on the playlist) and invite a lot of people to a good party where Tony buys all the drinks.

I could really go for some Sake cocktails right about now Cass. And maybe an entire pickled cucumber...

@becksxoxo It was really good to find out what that thing in him was. I just presumed it was his heart, so a magnet was a shock. The more you know. What I would like to know is does that mean he is magnetic now? Could I stick fridge magnets to him? Because I think a very fun drunk game could be made, in the style of buckeroo, sneak up on a sleeping Tony Stark, see how many fridge magnets you could stick to him before he woke up and blew you to kingdom come with his little iron man hand blaster. Eh, sounds good right?

@cassandrafey I propose the little letter ones be used. You could see how much of a word you could form. Play scrabble. Maybe even hangman!

Is this war propaganda?

I appreciate the ray of hats the gang have, nice to see. Also it was nice to see a flat cap. You don't think of them as a desert hat traditionally.

Q2. Who would win in a fight, Din Djarin or Tony Stark?

@becksxoxo I'll preface this by saying, the question came up because I likened his first suit to beskar. Din Djarin, hands down. He'd do a little head tilt, and be all broad. My husband refused to answer this. He says its a mute question because there wouldn't be a situation where it would happen. He did however happily answer the others so clearly thinks he will get the opportunity to spend Mr Stark's pennies at some point...

@cassandrafey I think the cross over is more likely than you might think because they are both under the Disney umbrella. Also I don’t know who would win, but I will say that Tony is tenacious and resourceful. But I think it would be funny to witness because Tony would be talking a mile a minute and Din would just be silent and occasionally sigh or make a grumpy humpf noise.

@becksxoxo I fucking love his grumpy humpf noise. It financially ruins me...

WHY WERE ALL THE SUBTITLES IN CAPLOCKS. NO ONE WAS SHOUTING. IT WAS ALARMING.

It was very sad to see that fella die, but I have no idea what his name was. I will refer to him as Jimmeny Cricket, as he was clearly Tony's blossoming conscience.

Q3. What food would you want after being trapped in the desert for three months?

@becksxoxo Pumpkin Spice Latte and an almond or a chocolate croissant.

@cassandrafey probably a sausage sandwich. Hard to go wrong with that.

I've never been to a Burger King, so I can't comment on their food offering. But in Burger King News, the one near Cass' mum and dad's has just burnt down. So.

Surprise Phil Coulson. Nice.

We both noted Coulson and whilst the above was Becks’ thought my notes read; Ah Coulson. Get’s in everywhere.

It was here that @becksxoxo began to question if Stane was going to be the bad guy. Was it his mannerisms, or was it his choice to wear that blue shirt, with the white cuffs and collar, with that yellow tie?

@cassandrafey Look, you know nothing good will come of Jeff Bridges playing a character with the name Stane.

@becksxoxo This was also the first moment I've ever had any respect for Tony Stark, dare I say even liked him?

Pepper getting that copper wire out of Tony's chest was very stressful. Did not enjoy it. At all. I'd like it to be know @cassandrafey that I would do it for you, but I would bitch about it, big time. Internal goop? Werp.

We love Tony's relationship with his robot pals. We especially love the little bot who keeps trying to hose him down, and how when he fucks up his test flight landing it sees it’s chance and take it. We also love the helpful bot who took the arc reactor to him at the end.

If I was Tony I would not have done my testing so close to my collection of expensive sports cars. But again, this is probs just a case of Stark and I being very different people.

@cassandrafey my notes when he was racing with Happy just read ‘Faaaaaaast cars baby yehaw’ and I don’t know the person I was when I wrote that. Some sort of road cowboy.

Also, I saw a post recently saying that looking back on Iron Man all the holographic stuff is so lame, and I would like to take the moment here to disagree wholeheartedly. Yes, interactive holographic bits are so stereotypical sci-fi futuristic but I really enjoy them because let’s face it it would be cool. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t love to have a go on that.

Q4. What colour would you make your super suit?

@becksxoxo Green and gold.

@cassandrafey Green and silver. We were almost perfectly aligned and I think its because we're Slytherins.

hiss hiss motherfucker.

I'd like it to be know that I, @becksxoxo, sniggered far too much over the request to 'deploy flaps'. heh heh heh

The audacity of sneaking Steve Rogers onto the Iron Man post. Thought I wouldn’t notice it, but I did.

Stan Lee Spotting - smoking jacket chic

Q5. Which big event would you make a statement at, uninvited?

@becksxoxo all i could think if in the moment were ComiCon or a prize giving assembly at school. Obvs, the two biggest events in my life. I think my statement at comicon would be something so endearing that some older actors would either fall madly in love with me, or head over heels in friendship, and off we'd trot into the sunset. The assembly statement, I dunno, perhaps just to screech that none of this matters, but I'm torn between wanting to approval of teenagers or teachers. Ha, so sad.

@cassandrafey I think you would give the equivalent of a flyting in the assembly Becks. You'd announce everyone who has ever wronged you and then you'd shout 'fuck!' as you run off the stage.

When Becks asked me this question last night I instantly said her wedding, which ignored the facts that a). that's already happened, and b). I was invited. Then I thought that it's more likely I'll stand up at Wimbledon one year, make my way onto centre court and give an emotional speech about how Rafa Nadal deserves the world and y'all don't know lucky we are to have him. This tends to happen at the drop of a hat at all seasons of the year, usually if I've had a drink, but regretfully, not always.

[Becks here - she did this a few weeks ago. She pulled me to one side on our drunken stagger round the lake, and cried whilst telling me all about Rafa's knees. So, be prepared...]

But what I'd really like to do is dress up very posh and femme fatale-y, put on some big sunglasses and then turn up to a funeral of someone I don't know (possibly a rich person), stand at the back in silence, and then quietly slip away. Leave people with the element of 'who was she' mystery.

Becks: Speaking of fancy things that dress of Pepper's is beautiful next to her red hair.

Cass: speaking of beautiful things, RDJ’s eyes really are lovely.

TW: things are getting heated in the Tony Stark moral character debates...

@becksxoxo Tony Stark has bad friends. I think this is another reason that he is the way he is. he doesn't trust other people, he doesn't trust his Avenger friends and that's what leads him to make shitty decisions, al la Civil War. I know you're traumatised Tony, but there's no need to be a dickhead.

@cassandrafey I agree that Tony has some really shitty friends. But his relationship with Rhodey at least is nice, and Pepper. I suppose there is a certain amount of loneliness that comes with having a lot of money.

Tony, as he says himself, has a laundry list of flaws but I like him despite them, and possibly because of them. He is reckless and a thrill seeker and that does cause him to make bad choices at times. He is impulsive and that can cause problems but his heart is in the right place. His impulsiveness also means that he is able to build and escape in a crazy metal suit when he is captured, and when he clocks into the fact that maybe blindly following his father's footsteps isn't the way he wants to live his life, well, he doesn't waste a moment trying to fix it. He is genuinely upset about the loss of Yinsen and he takes his words to heart, he won't waste the life that's been given back to him. He wants to help people, to undo the wrong he's done, and it is sad in a way because his recklessness is quite self destructive, but now he isn't going to destroy himself for no reason. Now he's been given this chance of life he isn't going to waste it away drinking and gambling, but that destructiveness still lingers - this is a man who would make the ultimate sacrifice when the stakes are highest. I love him for it, and thinking about it too much hurts a bit.

@becksxoxo Tony Stark weaponises his emotions. I hate that. He's not alone in wanting all that, he keeps a hold of all that weight and then lashes out.

I don't want to recreate last night Cassandra, for reasons, so we'll leave it here. I love you and I hate you're eloquent with your wordages. KISSY FACE.

@cassandrafey See? Expressing our opinions with love and respect babe 😘

💥 SONIC BOOM 💥

Do the 10 rings gang here have anything to do with the 10 rings in the new film Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings? Answers on a stamped address envelope.

@becksxoxo I love me a good dog fight, as in like an airplane fight not actual dogs I'm very against that. I thought it was a pity that, when that man's parachute didn't work, that Tony didn't swoop down and grab him bridal style and land him safely to the ground. I woulda loved that.

And there is another instance of Tony and his bad friends. I knew Stane was a wrong un, but I hadn't expected him to be in cahoots with the other bad guy. What a bad friend. Baldies together.

I think he plays a really good villain though, he gets very sinister especially in the scene with Pepper in the office, and he's so hateful how he's been lying to Tony and yes, as Becks says being a really bad friend.

Imagine if your work computer worked that quickly. It makes me mourn the minutes I have sat watching watching the little spinny thing moving at a snail's pace as SITS loads. I'm not getting of that time back.

Tony Stark was able to build this in a cave... with a box of scraps!

Or, Tony Stark built all this shit in a cave or whatever...

We really liked this quote from Stane but I also liked Becks' paraphrasing of it and wish we had the opportunity to hear Jeff deliver the line as Becks wrote it.

In terms of the suit, I'd like to say that I had made a note that said, quite gushingly, 'gosh RDJ has lovely eyes' and I stand by the fact that he does have great eyes for those close up shots in the suit.

My (@becksxoxo) notes on Stane as Iron Monger: Ooof big boy. Ewww he's like the mole man creeping out the ground.

The Ending:

@cassandrafey I love the ending of this film. I think it’s hard now to remember how game changing that ending was at the time, for a character to reveal his alter ego like that to the press when traditionally the exposure of their identity is one thing superheroes fear the most. Brilliant. The truth is... I am Iron Man. Boom. End film. As our dear friend Anthony would say, CUT THE CHEQUE!

Tony Stark: Genius. Billionaire Playboy. Philanthropist.

Nick Fury, you old softy. The Avengers Initative, named after his old pal Carol. Nice.

Nick Fury getting in everywhere as well. Making friends, basically forcing people he likes the look of to join his gang. Fair play to you Nick.

#iron man #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #marvel marathon #marvel rewatch #tony stark #pepper potts #happy hogan #iron monger #film review #movie review #the shared brain in retrograde #the grand adventures of cass and becks #back in black #this marvel marathon will be the death of us #marvel opinions #marvel #tony stank #stan lee

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undercoverwizardninjaturtle · 4 years

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ROTTMNT Fanfiction: Frayed Part 1

Description: Sequel to Shattered Donnie has his difficulties, but he’s always had his family to depend on. That was before Draxum came into the picture

Pairings: LESS THEN NONE

Fandom: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Characters: Donnie, Leo, Draxum, Mikey and Raph

Genre: Hurt/Comfort , Angst, Family

Rating: G

As much as Leo liked to think he was a wordsmith, a artisan of words, sometimes there was only one was to describe a situation. And this particular situation only needed one word to describe it

His hands came up, trying to pry the vine that had been at his throat. A pair of hands shook at his shoulders, hard enough for him to finally cough loudly gasping for air, a hand rubbed at his shell through his black gi, “Are you ok?!” Asked a frantic voice

Though his body was telling him otherwise he nodded finally opening his eyes, Don was looking down on him with a concerned look, with the black gi and red mask. Glancing around Leo was grateful that Draxum had thought to put Raph and Mikey were with him but while Raph was sitting up but his head resting to the side told him that he wasn’t awake, it took him a bit to realize that the biggest brother was cradling a unconscious Mikey in his arms he was about to ask if the youngest was awake , but his throat constricted again causing him to cough loudly. Don wrapped arm around his shoulders, “Leo take a deep breath, “Leo struggled to comply grateful for the oxygen stinging his throat

“Pathetic.”

Leo had almost forgotten about the metal cage. He had remembered Draxum had ambushed them at the Dark Armor, trapping them in vines. He remembered one of them finding its way around his neck, barely giving his airway for the oxygen he so desperately needed. Donnie glared up at the villain responsible for their state “Where’s April?!” He demanded

“Your human friend is fine, I sent her back to your “ Draxum gave a disgusted shiver and eye roll, “rat. Hopefully it will give him the motivation to bring me the last piece of the dark armor. If not.” Gave a lazy twirl of his wrist, “I guess I will do with you as I see fit.”

Leo knew Draxum was trying to scare them. He opened his mouth make a quip before he coughed again, he rubbed at his throat, desperate to relieve the pain. Don gave him a concerned look, glancing to the ret of their brothers before standing up, “Draxum, given me Leo’s medkit.”

Draxum turned to look at them, “You dare make demands of me!?”

“The small white box Leo had on him, I need it to help my brothers.”Donnie gripped the bars of the cage, “My brothers might have internal bleeding you overgrown Capra Aegagrus Hircus. If you have any sort of heart in you you’ll let me help them”

Leo wasn’t sure what that meant but Draxum turned to look at him fully. There was so meting in his eyes, as though looking at Donnie for the first time. Before anyone could move, a vine shot out and grabbed him around the chest, shoving him hard against the back bars of the cage. Causing the metal bards to dig into his soft leathery shell, his teeth gritted in pain. Leo jumped and grabbed at the vine, trying to pull it off of him, “st-“ Draxum’s eyes bore on Donatello, as though studying his pain with a scientific eye. Without looking away a vine knocked Leo off of the first vine causing him to land on Raphael. His older brother waking with a start. “I thought so, you’re the soft shell.” With another twitch, Donnie was pulled forward pulling him to the front of the cage with the same force as he had before. Despite having only been somewhat awake for a few seconds, Raph let out a low growl, “Let. Him go you-“he had started to move to his knees but lightheadedness must of taken over again, causing Raph to almost fall on his side. Leo supported him the best he could as Raph struggled for air. Watching helplessly as Draxum’s fingers caught Donnie around the jawline, forcing their eyes to meet, “I can still see you have that sensitive shell.”his fingers nails digging into this skin, “After Lou Jitsu interfered with my experiment, I thought all my work as for nothing. Except your so called brothers’ turned out fine, if younger then I needed.” Draxum’s eyes narrowed, “Not you, you trembled you shrieked if anything touched your. Of all your brothers. I considered you to be the only failure. Your ‘Splinter’ denied it, but I Knew something was wrong with you. I should of throw you away with the trash when I had a chance.” At this point Draxum’s face was nearly a millimeter from his brothers, “ Trust me when I say I wont make that mistake twice” With a flourish, Donnie was thrown back into the cage, bouncing off Raph’s outstretched arm, how had tried to keep him from landing too hard.’ Leo moved close, “D-nee.” He croaked out, he tired to touch his brothers shell to check for any bruising, but Donnie flinched from his touch “I’m fine.”

“Dee-“

“I said I’m fine.” His voice held al the bitterment of his usual personality, but his eyes held a shimmer of tears, before turning to him, “maybe I can help without the medkit.”

He knew Donnie wasn’t alright, but he did the best he could helping Leo and Mikey. Before going off sitting by himself. Raph had tried to talk to him, but Leo had given him a shake of his head . Eventually they would escape, and destroy the dark armor.

But he would never forget what Draxum had said

(#)(#)\/(#)(#)

“”MONOPOLY!!” Leo shrieked with glee as Mikey landed on one of his properties, “Pay up!!!” He said, leaning over the board and holding his hand out to his youngest brother, who was holding his last few hundred play dollars to his chest like it was his last child

“B-B-but, “ Mikey looked at his last few hundred play dollars as though they were his children, “But I’m your favorite brother.”

“All’s fair in love and war Mikearino.” Leo , with some difficulty, peeled the money from his hands, leaving him with a single dollar. Almost collectively the entire group groaned. Draxum had his doubts when Michelangelo had recommended a weekly ritual known as ‘Game Night’ to be held in his place of residence atleast one day a week (having it at the Turtles home was out of the question according to Master Splinter). He hadn’t been sure of hosting the vent at first. But during that first night of Games, as Draxum watched the red slider turtle dominate game after game, (always with a victory cheer of the games title) he could say one thing

This was the biggest mistake of his life

He drug his hand down his face the table giving a small tremble as Leonardo climbed on top of it, dong some sort of dance he had seen on the World Wide Web with a giant grin, “DOWN turtle, I just procured this table from the IKEA.”

Leonardo puffed his face at him before blowing out air , “What ever.” He jumped down from the table with a flourish. Taking up the dice again, “Now, whose turn is it to weep at my glory and join Raphael in bankruptcy jail?”

Draxum frowned, looking back at his fake money, he had fallen on Leonardo’s property enough times to have only a few hundreds left and no desire to be victim to theoretical bankruptcy. Thankfully it was not his turn, his fell on the purple turtle who was studying the board with analytical eyes. Ignoring Raphael rolling out his turn and wailing as Leo began to wrestle him for his money. The purple turtle hadn’t been playing as well as Leonardo, but judging by the few properties he had purchased he had a strategy in mind. Donatello caught him looking in his direction and frowned slightly before looking back to the board

Draxum stood up, “I will return with snacks,” he announced, though the group was largely distracted by Raphael weeping over his loss of his money. He was unsure how the turtles had so much energy this late at night. But it was almost admirable. He opened the freezer and drew out a ice tray, twisting the frame and popping out the ice cubes and pouring them into a bowl.

“Um, Draxie? What are those?” Mikey asked, looking around him with a confused look on his face

“Last we spoke you mentioned a desert called iced cream, well I have painstakingly made my own iced cream.” He looked to the smallest turtle, waiting to be showered in his praise only for Mikey to look at the white cubes in the bowls , ‘Um dude, did you just put milk in ice trays?”

“And sugar. Is that not ice cream?” Sure he had taken some liberties, but he was sure this would be indistinguishable from the real thing, but before he could rectify the situation, Mikey leaned over, squishing his face against his arm, “Its ok Beary you’re trying!! Buuut do you have anything else we can snack on? Other then what you set out?” With a expression Draxum can only describe as dread, he looked back over to the table and snack bowl Draxum had set up earlier. He wasn’t sure why no on had touched it, the bag he had poured it from has seemed Fine. IT had a dog on the cover, it was apparently made for ‘large’ animals, and it had been rather cheap. Not to mention it was supposed to be great for fur (of which he had none of but he figured it was a side affect)

Draxum huffed before going through his designated ‘snack cabinet’ mostly full of ‘ray-men’ packs and granola bars’, “Does anyone here enjoy gravy flavored granola cards?” Judging by the looks of disgust on the turtles face, they didn’t He let out a low growl before returning o his cabinet, “I will find something to feed you with. In the mean time satisfy yourselves with my soft drinks. Michelangelo you may play in my place.”

At the chance to play agin, Mikey let out a squeal of delight, giving him a quick squeeze before loading his arms full of his soda and hurrying back to the table. Draxum, failing to find any non granola snack growled under his breath and moved back to the table just as a tiny plastic house smacked Donnie in the forehead, “Leonardo do not make a mess.”Draxum commanded

“Its not my fault Don’s forehead is a easy target.” Leo grinned before another plastic house hit him in the eye, causing him to yelp , grabbing at his face “how DARE you! You could of scratched my perfect face!”

“I mean, with a face like that you cant’ really ruin it more can you.” Donnie said For the first time all night Donnie has a smirk Draxum has seen him have many times. Leo grins back and before Draxum realized what was about to happen. Each of the turtles has a arm full of Monopoly houses and are chucking them at each other, dashing around the room with loud shouts of laughter. Draxum allows himself a breath, to calm his nerves, before he hair flies on end, his vine shot out of his wall, catching Leonardo by the ankle and yanking up causing him to yelp loudly and drop all his artillery , “DO NOT SHOWER MY HOUSE WITH TINY PLASTIC HOUSES!’ He demanded to the turtles frozen in mid throw

“Technically it’s a Apartment. Not a house.”Leo said crossing his arms over his chest unfazed by his predicament.

Draxum gave him a glare, “You four, clean this up. Or you can’t have any Scandinavian Soda.”

“Doesn’t sound like much of a punishment to to me.” Leo mumbled. Draxum lets out a growl before releasing Leo’s ankle. With a shriek Leo landed upside down before wiggling around to a position on his knees, still grumbling. His brothers joining him.

The Warring Alchemist has noticed a few things about these turtles that he hadn’t when they were enemies, namely now that he wasn’t threatening to torture them they didn’t seem to fear him as much and that came out in different ways. Mikey had accepted him a friend and a reluctant family member. Mostly unwilling on his part, but the box turtle had been hard to refuse with as eager as he was. Raphael seemed to respect hm to a extent, a friendly attitude but atleast he was willing to give him a chance.

That left the two problem turtles

Leonardo had a more flippant attitude with him. At first he had taken it the same as he had taken Mikeys’ laxness around him, that he had accepted him. But that didn’t feel right. He couldn’t put his finger on it, he wasn’t aggressive, or anymore of a (what was the word?) Nick Head. The purple one was also hard for him to read.

But of course, that was probably how he wanted it

Speaking of purple , Leonardo had started searching by him, going out of his way to bump shoulders with a laugh, “bet I’ll find more then you!” Leo challenged before crawling off at a higher speed. Don grinned after him, “In your dreams Lamenardo!” With that he looks around, unable to find more he shifts under the table. Draxum can only pinch the bridge between his eyes when he realizes, rather then take this as a punishment, they are treating it like a childish game.

Leo suddenly shot up to a standing position, “I WIN!” He said holding up a handful of Monopoly houses

There’s a squawk of despair but before more dreaded hijinks there was a loud banging sound as something hit the table from underneath with a cursed shout. Leonardo’s demeanor changed In a split second, “Dee? You ok?” When he didn’t get a answer, he ducked down to check under the table. Draxum rolled his eyes before returning to his search. Out of the corner of his eye he watched the two emerge from under the table, Donatello was holding his shoulder with a pained look on his face , “how hard did you hit your shell?” Leo asked, Draxum almost couldn’t believe this was the same turtle who he had seen steal the same purple turtles phone and threaten to drop it in the toilet if the purple turtle didn’t admit Leonardo was his favorite Blue turtle

Which he had

Twelve times

That night

The normally self assured turtle gave a tremble, “its fine.” He said between his teeth

Leonardo’s brow furrowed in concern, for someone who had only ever seen the red slider turtle with a annoying sneer or laugh it should seem out of place. But its almost as though it was his nature to be concerned as it was for him to be witch (No that wasn’t the word, bitch? Bitch was the word?) “Do you want me to look at your shell?”

“Please.” Draxum rolled his eyes, “his shell is meant to protect his inferior body, if he can’t handle bumping it then he might as well not have one.” The room becomes silent in a way that even he notices. He looks back into the room, Raph is giving him a somewhat disappointed expression that he doesn’t understand and even Mikey looks unhappy with him. Donatello doesn’t even look in his direction, but actively avoiding looking at him. Leonardo however, is glaring at him. Again, his entire nature seems to change in a split second with dagger sin his eyes.

It reminds Draxum of a few weeks ago Draxum had been walking home with groceries when he had seen a pair of stray dogs in a alley. One of them had been panting heavily but asleep while the other was laying down in front of it, looking around without a concern in the world with a flapping tail. . Draxum had taken out some meat he had bought to give it to them, but the carefree dog had immediately gotten up growling at him. It took a while later for him to understand that the sleeping dog had probably been sick and the other one was staying nearby to protect it incase it needed help.

Sarcastic, Concerned, and now Protective

He wondered which one fo these was the true Leonardo.

In response to the change in atmosphere he rolled his eyes with a groan, “I am informed that I do not have any appropriate snacks, and that my iced cream is insufficient. I will leave to procure the snacks required to continue our game night. DO not set anything on fire while I am gone.” He said before grabbing his large trench coat, and stepping out of the door.

He could not bear to be in the prescience of such weakness.

(#)(#)\/(#)(#)

If Leo was being honest, he hadn’t been too enthusiastic when Mikey had recommended a game night at Draxum’s. He had tried to offhandedly comment on his concerns, but Mikeys’ eyes had immediately filled with tears looking to him as though he was the one thing standing between him and his dreams.

For someone who hated being called the baby fo the family, Mikey really did know how to use it for his advantage.

But now, glaring after the former Goat Baron he wondered if he should of protested more. Instead he turned his attention to Don, who was still hugging himself , “Are you sure you don’t want me to look at your shell?” He had already moved to touch is brothers shoulder but Donnie had pulled away half heartedly, pulling his hoodie tighter around himself, “I said i’m fine.”

“A-“ Mikey didn’t look like he knew what to do, except look anxious,” He didn’t mean that, ok? He’s just adjusting and he doesn’t realize everything he’s saying”

“Sure seemed like he did.” Leo huffed, he looked over to Raph to vent his reaction. He could tell Raph was disappointed in Draxum, but judging by their eye contact, he was gauging his and Don’s reaction to see how angry he should get.

It wasn’t anyone’s fault that Don’s shell was so sensitive, it had been a problem when they were kids, but as they had gotten older it had become easier for Don to handle slight touches. And nowadays he didn’t have a problem with people touching his shell, and thanks to the Battle Shell his shell was tougher if not more so than his brothers. But he still couldn’t handle someone bumping into it or hitting it on stuff without something to protect it.

Leo had known Don had been stressed about coming here, but seeing his brother sitting on the couch, barely containing his soft trembles. He looked to Mikey, “Hey I’m getting bored, I’m goin to bounce and do something fun,”

Mikey opened his mouth to complain, but then Leo glanced at Donnie then back at him. Luckily the orange turtle seemed to understand, “ok, will you atleast come back again next week? I’ll make sure Draxum has good snacks. And I’ll talk to him about what he said.”

“Ok good, cause I’m pretty sure his Chex mix is just dog food.” Leo took his leathery jacket from the coat rack before looking back, ‘Dee? Wanna come with?”

His brother looked at him with a look that clearly said, ‘ you’re not fooling anyone’ but sighed “yeah no problem.” Donnie took his purple Sherpa lined jacket over his hoodie both saying their goodbyes before leaving out fo the apartment building. It was weird to be there without seeing April, but she had mentioned she had a art project coming up and that she didn’t have time to hang out this week.

A lot of things had changed since Draxum had come into their lives

“Ok let me have it.”

“Huh?” Leo looked up in time to duck around a ice over light pole, Don looked up from his phone with a unamused look, “You want to vent. I can tell. Talk to me Lee.”

“I-“ he almost denied how he felt, but there was no point , “I don’t’ get why we have to hang out with that Man Bunned Butt Man, are we seriously supposed to act like he never tried to kill us?”

“Like the time he threw you off the roof?”

Leo threw his hands in the air, “LIKE THE TIME HE ME OFF A ROOF!” That was never going to be ok. Not to mention what had happened when they were captured ,he gave his brother guilty look, “I know you didn’t want to talk about it but are you sure you don’t want to to tell Mikey about what Draxum told you? Maybe if he knew want Draxum said to you-‘ before he could finish his sentence Donnie poked him hard in the face, causing Leo to yelp and rub his cheeks, “RUDE.”

Don , sighed before looking away from his phone, “I’m not ok with what he said to me that night. Or what he said to me tonight. I don’t even particularly like the idea of spending time with him, but if he’s willing to try to be a better guy then I’m willing to put up with it for.” Don looked back to his phone, “Unless he pisses me off too much in which case I drop him off with the Hidden City Police faster then I use the Fibonacci sequence. And you promised you would’ tell Mikey.”

That was true, and he had been warned that if he had revealed what Draxum said, Donnie was going to release a video online called “Leo’s broadway audition 2019” which was a threat he was not taking lightly. Even so he looked to his favorite purple turtle and sighed, “I wont,” before opening his arms with a whimpering question in his eyes.

Don glanced at him in confusion for a moment before smiling and rolling his eyes, “Yes you can hug me.”

“Yayzzz.” He said before throwing his arms around Donnie ,careful of his shell and hugged him tightly. He had no problem letting go if Don became uncomfortable but when Donnie rested his cheek on his shoulder, he knew there wouldn’t be a problem. Other then then Ignoring the passing people on the street. As cold as it was Leo was surprised that anyone was out other then them. Speaking of cold, “Hey man, we’re getting close to our favorite Bodegaaaa and I’m feeling snackish. I heard they just got in Extra Spicy Komodo Dragon Pepper Chips. I wanna buy some peanut butter ice cream and sprinkle it on top.”

“Oh no Leo no,” Donnie groaned in despair, “I’m begging you, no. I can’t handle another night of you taking baths full of milk because you think you’re ‘metal-“

“Too late we’re doing it!” Leo ducked behind him and guided Donnie forward by the shoulders . what else was better to eat on a cold day anyway then hot spicy chips?! Blatantly ignoring his brothers whines he guided Donnie around to their favorite Bodega that hey had been visiting (tormenting ) since they were old enough to go to the surface on their own. But the minute They get closer to the door, Leo could already hear the loud music blaring on the speakers inside he was about to change his mind when Don stepped out of his grasp, “Ok I think I’m going to sit this one out . I’ll wait out here, Just be sure to bring back a gallon of sugar free vanilla ice cream for me.”

“No prob Dee.” Leo said with a happy salute before hopping side to begin his quest for overly spicy chips that he claimed he could handle but obviously couldn’t. Don let out a full smile , shaking his head at his brothers antics. Leave it to Leo to cheer him up and finally get the shaking to leave his hands. But that was Leos’ best skill in Don’s opinion. He leaned his shell against the building and took out his phone agin.

A loud scoff filled his ears, at first Donnie thinks that Leo is playing a victim card again, but when he looks up all he see is Draxum on the sidewalk, carrying two grocery bags that seemed to be filled with various ice creams, “Let me guess, you’re too sensitive to handle a little store so your brother went in instead of you?”

Donnie made sure to roll his eyes, “NO he wanted some snacks so I’m waiting for him out here.”

“you’re not stupid ,you know he coddles you. Treats you like you’re inferior because he feels sorry for you.”

“Uh Huh.” Donnie pulled his phone back out, “remind me to show you how to use the internet. It’s the best place to share opinions no one cares about.” He’s almost satisfied at Draxum’s low growl, the former villain steps closer. Donnie doesn’t look to him but his free hand is under the lower lip of his shell, fingering his multi-tool bo staff

“The sooner you realize you were born wrong, the sooner you can stop being a burden to them.” With that Draxum steps away, walking back the way he came to continue a game night with the two remaining brothers. Don waits till Draxum’s out of ear shot before he takes a shake breath and stuffs his hands in his pocket.

Unlike last time he knows that there’s nothing that will stop his hands from shaking

Windows

Shattered Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (Bonus)

Frayed Part 2

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt fanfiction #donnie #autistic donnie #leo #baron draxum #what a dick #fanfiction #hurt/comfort #angst #undercoverwizardninjaturtle #frayed #tmnt fanfiction

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soyouareandrewdobson · 3 years

Text

Andy on Asian Animation or SYAC: The Master Review 2

Let’s talk a bit about anime and Dobson’s work relation with it.

I think we can all agree, that starting from the late 90s and early 2000s on, anime and manga became extremely popular in the western world. Sure, Japanese animation was nothing completely new to us (Speed Racer, Nadia-Secret of Blue Water, Samurai Pizza Cats, Sailor Moon, Kimba and Akira e.g. come to my mind as properties already known in the west before 1995) but it really was around this time that thanks to “mainstream” stuff like Dragon Ball and Pokemon people became aware of how different Japanese animation was from western. Eventually resulting in the really good shit (like Cowboy Bebop, Black Lagoon, Kenshin and Heat Guy J) coming over and enriching nerd culture for more than just a few people who knew of it as an obscurity at that point. Now, if you know anything about Dobson, you likely know that his relationship with anime is rather… complicated to say the least. Or, to let him explain it with his own words…

Dobson essentially likes silly and wacky 90s anime. But later on he hated anime in general, because it got too popular and a bad experience with an anime club in college soured his enjoyment of it. Furthermore, he put the blame on his lackluster art style and storytelling capabilities as seen in the likes of Formera, Patty and Alex ze Pirate, on anime in general, while also claiming that Disney pulling the plug on 2D animation is the result of the “anime inspired” Treasure Planet, meaning anime in a sense deprived him of his chance at working at his dream job and “ruining” western animation.

Which to me has always been ignorant as fuck. For starters, I can understand not liking certain stories or genres, either for objective or subjective reasons. But to hate on an entire nation’s form of entertainment (not just individual shows or genres), depriving yourself of the chance of potentially watching a lot of good stuff while also being rather insulting to these other works and people enjoying them? Especially when the stuff you can supposedly “stomach” has been rather simplistic compared to other things?

Second, blaming Japan for “poisoning” your art style? What, did the ghost of Osamu Tezuka possess you and FORCE you to put sweatdrops on your characters forehead while also going for the rather simplistic character style of Rumiko Takahashi, as well as emulating the slapstick of the likes as Slayers and Ranma ½?

Next, if he had emulated them successfully, I say he would have actually managed to tell decent enough stories worth to read online. Not create Uncle Peggy aka “Discount Happosai” or the bland proto-Isekai known as Formera.

I mean, let’s give some context here: There have been people who successfully managed to emulate certain anime and manga aesthetics into western animation and make it work. Otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten the likes of Avatar-The last Airbender, Samurai Jack, the Animatrix, Thundercats 2011, Super Robot Monkey Hyperforce Go, Kim Possible, W.I.T.C.H, Megas XLR and Wakfu. You know, shows that are actually awesome as hell.

Heck, Dobson’s favorite animated show of the last decade, Steven Universe, is heavily inspired by anime aesthetics to the point of being embarrassing.

But Dobson… well, he emulated anime aesthetics in his work the same way as these crimes against animation did.

Combined with his general shortcomings as a storyteller it is no wonder his initial comics did not do well.

Lastly, and sorry for digressing here a bit, but if the Wikipedia entry on Treasure Planet is something to go by, there was no real inspiration by anime involved in making this movie.

Supposedly the idea of making an animated Treasure Planet in outer space movie was already pitched by Ron Clements WAY BACK in 1985 but only came to be after Michael Eisner greenlighted stuff in the late 90s. Design wise the movie was supposed to look 70% traditional and 30% sci-fi inspired and people took inspiration for the art style by illustrators associated with the Brandywine School of Illustration. A western style of illustration established in the 19th century, that had a big impact on the illustration styles for many 19th and early 20th century adventure novels and short stories.

What, is anime supposed to be the only form of animation allowed to have sci fi elements or steampunk in it? Fucks sake, The Lion King and Atlantis, which came out one year earlier to Treasure Planet, were likely more inspired by anime. Don’t believe me? Watch Atlantis and then a certain anime by Studio Gainax called “Nadia-Secret of Blue Water”. Or read up on the controversy surrounding the two.

The truth is, it is not entirely clear what caused Disney to shut down 2D feature film animation in the early 2000s. In fact, if anything, most people put the blame on Michael Eisner and a certain change in the publics taste in movies in general, combined with Disney trying to turn almost every movie they had into a franchise via cheap follow up movies on video and DVD.

And even if Disney did not shut down, are we really supposed to believe that a certain guy with fedora would have made it big at Disney to the point Alex ze Pirate would have been made into a feature film?

But Dobson could never quite understand this and instead of “reinventing” himself properly, he would rant about anime and its fans in one form or another…

And on the peak of his hissy fit create this little art piece he baptized Anime Sux. Alternatively “West vs East”. Or as I like to call it, slap a jap.

Now, the pic was done in 2008 and Dobson claimed sometimes in the last decade, that he no longer holds his old opinions. Unfortunately, by that point he would also more or less use the chance to vent in his webcomic about anime (or rather its fans), which brings us finally back to SYAC.

While Dobson never outright thematized in more detail WHY he hates anime and manga in SYAC (likely cause if his comic reasoning was even slightly like his reasoning in his blogs, people would have torn him apart like a bag of paper) he did use the format to punch down on anime fans and their preferences.

For example, for someone who has a 4chan story going around of having been rather arrogant towards others in college for not liking Ranma ½, Dobson has THIS little college related comic to show off, where he portrays an aspiring manga artist as a delusional jackass.

Then in this strip titled manga, his manga fan is essentially portrayed as a young woman dressing up like a very stereotypical high school anime girl, who is in the wrong for even just DARING to draw her comics in the direction manga are read.

On one hand, I get Dobson’s point. She could be at risk of alienating a market of readers as she is obviously drawing for a western audience. Then again, if she doesn’t draw a traditional western comic but a manga, why shouldn’t she? I mean, as long as she enjoys it, which I assume she does as she seems genuinely just happy when stating that she likes manga, why not let her? Plus, this comic was drawn in the late 2000s. I think by then most people kinda knew how to read from right to left, so Dobson’s claim she would alienate or confuse people is kinda redundant. If anything I find a) Dobson getting angry at her just very petty (just let her have fun) and b) portraying a western manga fan as someone who would be confused by the sheer idea of reading stuff from right to left is also in itself just really dumb and insulting. What is Dobson trying to imply? That anime fans are so stuck in the way they consume certain media, they can’t act according to “western standards” again?

Then there is this strip where yet another female anime fan is essentially portrayed as the embodiment of how “ignorant” manga fans are of the idea of different art styles...

Which becomes rather laughable once Dobson describes his style as a mixture of European, American and Japanese. Why? Because he is the one oversimplifying things, rather than the anime fan.

You see while anime and manga of all sorts do share certain aesthetics (like the black and white art style, emphasize on the eyes of characters, the way hair is drawn, recurring tropes within certain genres and so on) style wise (both in art and storytelling) there can be severe differences, depending on the artist alone. Akira Toriyama’s style differentiates significantly from the likes of Eichiro Oda, Rumiko Takahashi, Kentaro Miura, Tezuka, Kaori Yuki and so forth.

The same also goes for many western artists. Herge had a significantly different style from Uderzo and Goscinny. Don Rosa has a different style in which he drew Scrooge McDuck than Carl Barks did. Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee draw mainstream superheroes differently compared to how Jack Kirby, George Perez and others did. Heck, Ethan Van Sciver and Jim Lee were closely associated with Green Lantern in the 2000s and look how they differentiate.

Which btw is the kind of skill level Dobson would have needed to have, to make it in the mainstream industry

So when Dobson says “I draw in a combination of American, Western and Japanese” all I can think is the following: THAT DOESN’T NARROW IT DOWN! WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU LEARNT IN COLLEGE ABOUT COMICS? WHICH ARTISTS, WORKS AND STORYTELLERS DO YOU TRY TO EITHER EMULATE OR HAVE BEEN INSPIRED BY?

Then there is this little thing…

Where do I even begin? How about the fact that Dobson’s hand in the last panel looks like he has lost a thumb? The fact that the little boy, anime fan or not, is aware of Sae Sawanoguchi, a character from a short lived OVA and anime series from the 90s, which considering his age, I kinda doubt he would be aware off. Unlike Dobson, who got into anime in the 90s and admits in fact within the posts I loaded up earlier, that he had watched the anime in particular, known in the west as Magic User Club.

Then there is the implication by Dobson, that anime is so “corruptive” as a medium, little kids don’t even know the most basic characters in western animation because of it. I expect in a next panel, that all of sudden some 50s PSA guy comes along and lectures me that if I want this kind of thing not to happen at MY convention, I need to teach little kids more about the GOOD western animation, instead of the BAD eastern one. Then there is this rather unflattering portrayal of a shonen ai/shojou ai fangirl…

Which makes me laugh cause honestly, even some of the worst shonen ai and shojou ai can do better in portraying a “realistic” gay relationship than Patty if you ask me.

Also, as much as I think fangirls can be extremely thirsty (I have read my fair share of extremely stupid yaoi and yuri fanfics) I think that in hindsight Dobson is really not anyone to complain about shipping obsession and sex when he himself has KorraSami, the Ladybug fandom and a certain rat pirate under his floppy belt.

As you can imagine, Dobson would get heat for those comics, considering how he himself has been greatly inspired by anime and manga for his major comics. And while I don’t have any explicit deviantart posts of him reacting to criticism in that regard, I do have this comic which addresses it directly.

And yeah, if I were schoolgirl number 4, I would just sigh and walk away after telling Dobson that his mistakes and shortcomings are not related to having consumed anime, but rather by what sort of anime (and other stories) he had consumed and the amount of effort he had put in creating his stories instead of emulating just something more popular. Plus, if you really want people to draw more from life, how about drawing more from life yourself down the line? And no, tracing Star Wars movie frames does not count.

Finally, Dobson, considering how very little most people think of your work, I say mission accomplished: People have learnt from your mistakes and know not to be a Dobson.

And at last, there is this comic, which kinda wraps up Dobson’s “vendetta” with anime and manga fans within the pages of SYAC.

By trying to mock anime fans and make them look just as shallow as he is. I at least suppose. Honestly, the message of this comic is rather muddled. On one hand, I would say the strawman accusing Dobson hates anime just because it is popular is very simplified. After all, Dobson has made his reasons for not liking anime clear in a few more details. It’s just that the details in and on themselves in real life are still rather shallow and boil down to a lot of personal bias rather than an objective criticism of actual flaws. Which I think is worth pointing out.

But frankly, what is Dobson trying to say or point out here? That the strawman is not so different or even dumber than him, because he hates Justin Bieber for “shallow” and superficial reasons too?

Okay, this doesn’t quite work as well as Dobson wants. First, the argument Dobson’s strawman makes is in huge parts based on some verified statements Dobson made for not liking anime. Second, he just says a name and that triggers the guy to express his hatred for Bieber. We don’t know why the guy hates Bieber and you could make in fact the case, that he hates him not because he is popular, but because he has a genuine issue with the artist, his work or his behavior as a human being. Third, if you want to make yourself look like the better person Dobson, try to argue with the guy and make solid arguments why you don’t like anime. Instead you just deflect the criticism by changing the subject and then try to make yourself look like the “smarter” person in the room by mocking your critic in the most condescending manner.

Which as I think about it, sounds like your modus operandi on twitter and tumblr.

Weirdly enough, that more or less marks the “end” of Dobson tackling anime fans and the beef he has with them within the pages of SYAC. Despite how much Dobson’s negative reputation especially in early years was build around him hating on anime and belittling its fans, he didn’t really do more afterwards in the Dobson focused pages of SYAC. And mind you, those strips were also separated by other strips in-between, focused on Dobson just being at conventions.

Unfortunately for him, the strips didn’t really help in any way to diminish that negative reputation and instead just confirmed for many, that Dobson can’t handle criticism about his flawed opinion on anime. If anything, it just made people think even less of Dobson, as the strips just painted him as someone who would rather portray his critics as strawman he can be “rightfully” annoyed at, instead of fellow humans with slightly different tastes in entertainment, who are still worth listening to.

So, now that we have the anime fan related “annoyances” out of the way, what other sort of silly problems in making webcomics would Dobson cover in his strips and are “relatable” to everyone?

Lets see some of these examples in the next part.

#anime / manga #manga #Andrew Dobson #fuck you Tom Preston #Tom Preston #syac #so...you are a cartoonist #so you are a cartoonist #review #webcomic #comic #adobsonsartwork #adobsoncomic #adobsonartworks

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365days365movies · 3 years

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January 14, 2021: GoldenEye (1995) (Part 1)

He’s suave. He’s sophisticated. He’s spy. He’s...

The late, great Sean Connery.

Ignoring the less then savory aspects of his personality (AKA the Barbara Walters interview...both of them), Connery is undoubtedly the most famous Scottish actor of all time. Sorry, Whovians, I love David Tennant, too. But Connery’s got him beat. He’s been in so many iconic films and roles, his influence is undeniable. But most famous of all is his turn as Agent 007, the man himself, James Bond.

I’ve seen all of Connery’s original Bond films (not counting Never Say Never Again), and my favorite is Goldfinger, in case you were wondering. But outside of that...I haven’t seen any Bond movies. Since him, the character’s been played by David Niven, George Lazenby (now THAT’S an interesting story, lemme tell you), Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, and the two I’ll be looking at this month: Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig.

I’ll be looking at Brosnan tomorrow, in Casino Royale. But today, I’m looking at arguably the third most-famous Bond, Pierce Brosnan, in one of the most famous modern Bond movies, GoldenEye.

Also, yeah, never played the game I KNOW IT WAS A ‘90S CLASSIC I WASN’T ALLOWED TO HAVE VIDEO GAMES.

So, what to expect from a Bond film? Well, I’ve got a checklist here, hold on...HERE we go:

Gadgets

Girls

Good-for-Nothings

...Good music?

I’m feeling a little alliterative of late. But, yeah, looking for the Bond Girl, looking for cool gadgets, looking for dastardly villains, and listening for the theme song for the film. Got my list set, and expectations are set to Connery levels. Let’s do this, shall we?

Recap

We start at a dam in Russia. Bond James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) is infiltrating the dam, and we get our gadgets checked off right away, as he whips out an acetylene torch. He barges in on a guy in the bathroom (rude, and awkward), then meets up with Alec, AKA Agent 006 (Sean “he dies, he’s the villain, or he’s the villain who dies” Bean).

Yeah, calling it now, Alec here’s gonna die, or he’s the villain, or he’s the villain who’s gonna die. It’s Sean Bean. More importantly, it’s Sean Bean in the ‘90s. There are very few options for him. Anyway, the Russians try to stop them from blowing up the plant, and...well, Alec’s being held hostage. Yyyyyyup. And he gets shot?

I don’t know how...but I’m betting that he’s still the villain. He’s Sean Bean. C’mon. He doesn’t die this early in a movie.

The unambiguously evil Russian general (hey, the Cold War just ended) almost get Bond, but he escapes in typical Bond fashion. They chase after him, and Bond chases an airplane. How, do you ask? I WILL FUCKING SHOW YOU HOW.

WHAT??? WHAT??? Physics just broke, and Issac Newton just tunneled to China. And then the facility blows up.

And THEN the opening begins. Let’s hear the Bond song and check out the opening.

youtube

...WOW. Just...I mean...OK, so Bond songs. From the first Bond movie, Dr. No, up until the one before this one, Licence to Kill, the intros were designed and directed by Maurice Binder. They were all composed of silhouetted women, often against colorful backgrounds, and almost always nude or skimpily dressed. There would often be themes or objects seen in the film itself, and sometimes actual scenes, often projected onto women themselves. They all definitely had a similar feel and style. And then, Binder sadly passed away in 1991.

Enter Daniel Kleinman. This is Kleinman’s first take, and this is also the first movie to use CGI. While it’s not terribly obvious or gaudy in the film proper, Kleinman uses this new technology to make this intro SURREAL AS HELL. It expresses the film’s connection to the fall of Soviet Russia, and a post-Cold War society. And is does that in a pretty obvious, if abstract and dramatic, manner. And honestly, on retospect...yeah. It definitely works. Even the song, which is sung by Tina Turner and written by Bono (yes, really), works well by itself, and in my opinion, better when with the actual film. So, crazy and weird as this sequence it...kinda grew on me. I like it! Weird, but I like it a lot.

We cut to nine years later, with Bond taking a woman on a drive/race on a cliffside highway with...well, there’s our Bond girl! This is Famke Jannsen, playing...Xenia Onatopp.

Yes. Really. Oh boy. We aren’t being even slightly subtle about this, huh.

The woman in the car demands him to stop, and they make out, as one would expect. That night, he heads to a party, as James Bond does. At the party, James enters a card game with Xenia. Again...as James Bond does. This is immediately followed by him hitting on Xenia, ordering a vodka martini (shaken not stirred), introducing himself as “Bond, James Bond,” commenting on the Bond Girl’s name, and saying suave shit.

HOLY SHIT THAT SENTENCE ALONE HAPPENED WITHIN 1 MINUTE OF SCREEN TIME

Look, movie, when you got a Bond...you gotta space that shit out. Ration it a little bit, not front load all of it WITHIN FIVE MINUTES AFTER THE OPENING’S FINISHED. It’s like giving someone a beer, and then they EAT THE FRIDGE.

Jesus. OK, Miss Moneypenny (Samantha...Bond, that’s neat!) gives Bond some information, tells him not to have sex with Xenia until they tell him to (yes, really), and then say’s that she trusts he’ll say…”On-a-Topp of things.”

YES. REALLY.

Speaking of Xenia, she’s with an Admiral, having the most TERRIFYING sex I’ve ever seen in a movie. And I’m legit not sure if he survived after it. Like, real talk, it was...frightening. Somebody steals his ID, real nonchalant like, and we cut to the next morning, after his maybe-death? James makes it onto the yacht the next morning (they were on a yacht, by the way), planning on getting some information.

Meanwhile, the ID is used by...someone...to get into a leader of global military leaders. Pretty sure the Admiral got Kegel’d to death; not even joking, it’s a real possibility, and I am shaken AND stirred. And so was the Admiral.

See? Toldja.

Looks like their unveiling a new tactical helicopter, the Tiger. However, the pilots are shot by Xenia and someone else, and they take their place, stealing the helicopter. Bond tries to stop it...even though there’s literally no way he could’ve known they were going to steal the helicopter? I mean, I guess you could assume that, but...I dunno, it’s a stretch.

Meanwhile, in Siberia, a group of radar analysts or some such, where we meet Boris (Alan Cumming, who I feel like I never see play an actual Welsh person...or in a good movie) and Natalya (Izabella Scorupco). Boris is a thirsty computer nerd who hacks the US government for fun (because ‘90s nerds in movies were basically only this), and Natalya puts up with him.

The Tiger helicopter arrives, carrying Xenia and the General (Gottfried John, by the way) from the dam 9 years ago. They show up here, seeking something. Xenia shoots up the place, killing everybody except Natalya (and maybe Boris, since we didn’t see him die). Xenia, by the way, appears to be a straight sadist, enjoying inflicting pain on unsuspecting victims. The two leave, getting what they came for.

London! James Bond returns to MI6 headquarters, and meets his secretary Miss Moneypenny, who calls him the fuck OUT. She is my favorite character now.

MI6 has intercepted a distress call from the station in Siberia, and found the helicopter. The mission is heard by both Bond and M (Dame Judi Dench herself, pre-Cats). Meanwhile, the base in Siberia is hit an electromagnetic pulse originating from an orbiting satellite, which causes EVERYTHING to explode. Pretty sure that’s not what EMPs do, but why not? Suspension of disbelief.

Natalya’s still alive in there, by the way. And she’s not having a great day. You know those work days, right? Your coworkers are all dead, your equipment and office space explode, you’re trapped in a burning building, two American jets get hit by an EMP and crash into the building. Mondays, amirite?

And in case literally everything didn’t make it clear by now, this is a Cold War movie, taking place after the Cold War was concluded. See, the McGuffin for this film (it’s a Bond film, it’s kind of a requirement) is Project GoldenEye, a nuclear weapon meant to detonate in the upper atmosphere, creating an EMP. The weapon was developed during the Cold War, and has now been stolen by the Janus Crime Syndicate, whose heads include Xenia Onatopp. General Ourmunov is also suspected to be a part of it.

This information all comes out during an exposition speech, as is standard for a Bond movie. But after that speech...OH...OH, it’s so good. See, up until now, Miss Moneypenny was really the only major female recurring supporting character in Bond’s life. But we’ve flipped the script, having M played by Dame Judi Dench. And lemme tell ya...what follows is Dench REAMING BOND THE FUCK OUT. And it’s glorious.

Mind changed, M is now my favorite character. She tells him what’s what, then gives him his mission: get GoldenEye back.

We finally get our big gadgets showcase, as we see...Q (Desmond Llewelyn)! First introduced in From Russia With Love in 1963, Q is the MI6’s spy gadget man, and has been played by Llewelyn since then! He’s the only remaining cast member from the original Connery films, and it’s awesome to see him here! He’s been in more James Bond movies than anyone else, at 17. Sadly, he died in 1999, but it’s still cool to see him! We get cool gadgets, of course, including a pen grenade, a car with missiles behind the headlights, a leather belt with a grapple, a LOT of shit in the background, and a missile hidden in a leg cast and wheelchair. This is such a funny sequence, and absolutely the best scene in the movie so far, holy shit. More of THAT, please.

Meanwhile, in St. Petersburg, the General finds out that Natalya is alive, as well as Boris being missing. Calling it now, he’s been taken by Janus, or he’s working with them. Bond arrives and meets up with CIA Agent Jack Wade (Joe Don Baker), whom I also really like. He’s had enough of Bond’s spy bullshit, and he cuts to the point. He also identifies himself by showing a rose tattoo with the name of his ex-wife, Muffy. Yes, really.

Bond meets up with a Russian gangster whom he has a...pre-existing relationship with. Apparently, he shot him in the knee, then slept with his wife. You stay classy, Jimmy. You stay classy. This man is Valentin Zukovsky (Robbie Coltrane), an ex-KGB agent and current gang leader. He tells him that the head of Janus is descended from Cossacks, a group of Russians that worked for the Nazis in World War II.

Natalya finds a way to contact Boris over the internet, who tells her to trust no one, and sets up a meeting with her at a church. This is, of course, a trap, as Boris is working with Janus. Xenia, for her part as a Bond Girl, does her duty and finds James to have sex with. Xenia, it should be noted, is ABSOLUTELY THE FREAKIEST of the Bond Girls. Like, Goddamn is she kinky, you have no idea. Like...is this sex or a fight scene? The film genuinely can’t decide.

Bond forces Xenia to take him to the head of Janus, who’s in a Soviet statuary of some kind. And who’s waiting there but…

Yup. Called it.

See you (and Sean “died, but didn’t die, and is a villain, but is still gonna die” Bean) in Part 2!

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jovialjuggernaut-draws · 4 years

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Yo, anon from before. How about instead of the two fics, then maybe a short oneshot where Sokka and Zuko take a night walk and confess their feelings. If you don't want to do that then that's okay. Also, the art is really cool!

Hey so I took this and ran with it and ended up with over 2k words so! Enjoy your oneshot!

Zuko rubbed the sleep out of his eye, refocusing on the rolled parchment before him. He still couldn't tell if the character he was looking at had a stroke missing, or if it was simply a word he actually didn't know.

"Or," Sokka's voice drifted over his shoulder, startling him into dropping the scroll, "You're too tired to read. Come on, let's do something fun."

Zuko yawned, retrieving the scroll and rolling it up properly. "You're not going to try to make me go to bed?"

"Nope. Never works, anyway, you just end up staring at the ceiling and thinking about how much work you could be getting done, which kind of defeats the purpose."

Zuko couldn't help but huff out a short laugh. Sokka cracked that crooked grin he always got. "You know me so well. Well, what are we doing, then?"

Sokka presented him with a papier-mâché mask, pulling his own down over his face. The mask he wore was red and twisted, the mask of an evil spirit. He'd handed Zuko a blue one, reminiscent of his old Blue Spirit mask, but slightly different in its design. He imagined it was modeled for the same character.

"There's a festival going on in town. It's winding down by now, but we should still make it in time for the fireworks."

Zuko smiled, slipping the mask on and pulling a relatively casual robe from his armoire to pull on.

"Ooh, fancy. Getting dressed up for me?" Sokka teased. He was dressed down in Water Tribe blues, the soft cotton out of place compared with Zuko's silks.

"It's all I have." Zuko admitted, embarrassed.

Sokka shrugged. "It'll do. Just try not to get mugged."

"I'm more worried about getting caught by the guards. We're going to look like suspicious characters, sneaking out of the palace at night in masks."

"Then we have to be extra careful not to get caught, don't we?"

Zuko couldn't see his face, but he was perfectly familiar with the mischievous grin Sokka was undoubtedly wearing beneath the grimacing mask. Zuko's lips tugged into an answering conspiratorial smile.

"Lead the way."

Sokka obeyed, tugging the Fire Lord through the servant's corridors and to a suspiciously uneven spot in the wall. He slid a brick out of place, revealing a mechanism beneath, and directed Zuko to send a pulse of fire into it, revealing one of the palace's many secret passageways.

"How did you know this was here?" Zuko probed, padding quickly behind his guide.

"Oh, Ty Lee showed Suki, and Suki showed me. Pretty nifty, right?"

Of course, Ty Lee was perfectly familiar with the ins and outs of the palace. Azula never could sit still for long, not when there was trouble to get into, and never did so without someone to take the potential fall for her.

"Useful, yeah." Zuko agreed.

The air before them became suddenly cool, a breeze flowing in from the loose-fitting bricks in the flat wall. Sokka bent down, sliding his fingers between two of the bricks, and tugged on a hidden mechanism, sliding the other end of the passage open.

The wall opened up onto a rooftop in the upper part of the city, affording them a view of the streets below. Citizens in their finest clothes, donning masks of all colors and designs, bustled about the busy paths. Booths lined both sides of the main thoroughfare, merchants hawking their wares, gamesmasters recruiting players, the scent of foods wafting out from here and there.

Zuko had never attended a festival like this, personally. It would seem too common, and awfully unrefined, for a prince to be prancing about. They watched on from afar, once or twice, putting in official appearances, but even then…

Zuko couldn't remember festivals in the capital city having ever been so exuberant. People seemed joyous, unburdened, laughing openly and easily with one another, bumping into strangers without sparing a thought.

It was odd, yes, but also comforting, in a way the Fire Lord couldn't quite articulate.

"Come on! They're doing the fireworks by the harbor, we want to get a good view!" Sokka cut through his thoughts, as he was so talented at doing, and tugged him forward.

They hopped between rooftops for a bit, avoiding the bustling crowds, until they came to an alleyway with boxes stacked high, an easy way to descend. Zuko hopped down in two long jumps, easily reaching the street level before his companion, who was delicately sliding down each box.

"No fair! I have to be nice to my leg still!" Sokka whined. Zuko smirked back at him, hidden behind the blue mask.

"I'll keep that in mind. I forget how delicate you are, Princess."

"Hey!" Sokka punched him lightly in the shoulder. "You can't make that joke! You're an actual Prince!"

"I don't know if you've heard, but I've been promoted. I have a new title now."

"Yeah, yeah, get a big head about it." Sokka grumbled in mock aggravation.

"Don't worry, I could never get a bigger head than yours." Zuko held a hand to his face to cover his smile at Sokka's dramatically offended reaction, forgetting it was already hidden by the mask.

"Fine! I won't let you share my fire flakes, then!" Sokka stomped off, huffing.

"Oh, don't worry. I can afford my own." Zuko responded loftily.

"I changed my mind, actually! You're buying the snacks!"

Zuko stifled his laughter, following Sokka's lead as the other boy led the way between stalls, picking up various spicy snacks and a couple of drinks Zuko wasn't sure he trusted him with.

"Do you know how strong those are?" He interrogated. Sokka shrugged.

"We'll find out, won't we? Come on, let's go get a good seat. They're starting soon."

Sokka led the way through several alleys, away from the busy main street, until the crowd thinned.

The building he climbed up was in minor need of repair, and the windows were darkened, leaving them reasonably certain it was empty. Zuko gave him a leg up, minding the mostly-healed injury, and passed the snacks up after. He ignored the hand Sokka dangled down to assist him, smoothly vaulting up the wall onto the roof next to him.

"Show off." Sokka lifted his mask to rest on top of his head, revealing the dramatic roll of his eyes. Zuko followed suit, sliding his mask to the side, letting Sokka see his smirk. "Ugh, sit down already. And pass me the fire flakes."

Zuko complied, resting next to the other close enough for their knees to brush as they dangled their legs over the side of the roof. Sokka munched the spicy snack, using his drink to cool his mouth down. Again, Zuko worried about its strength, sipping at his own. It didn't taste very alcoholic, but it was also deliciously tangy, which could be pretty deceptive.

The whistle of the first firework pulled him from his musing.

The blast shot high in the sky, a sparkling array of colors scattering and shimmering against the dark sky beyond. The next blasts came in clusters, the explosions lighting up the sky in carefully coordinated patterns. Below, several master firebenders synchronised a dance with the fireworks, bending dragons of flame to follow the blasts.

"Wow…" Sokka breathed next to him.

Zuko understood the wonder. He'd seen fireworks before, sure, but they were never focussed near the palace. The noise alone was reason enough, and the soot left behind to clean up after solidified their location as far away from the nobility as possible.

"You know…" Sokka murmured, leaning into Zuko, their shoulders bumping together. "I always thought of firebending as a scary thing."

Zuko hummed. "It can be. You had good reason."

"Yeah, but…" Sokka huffed, choosing his words. "When we first went to a festival like this, we saw the fire dancers performing just like that, fire dragon and all. I'd never even considered that bending could be used for something like that. Something beautiful."

Sokka's eyes were trained on the display in front of them. Zuko searched them, looking for the further meaning in his words.

"All bending is like that, I think." Zuko finally said. Sokka tore his eyes away from the fireworks to catch his gaze. The colors reflected so clearly in his icy blue eyes. "Both beauty and danger. I mean, just look at what your sister can do with hers."

Sokka winced for a moment, leaning away. He forced a laugh. "Yeah, she's pretty scary. Everyone thinks of waterbending as soft and healing but, hoo boy, can she do some damage."

Zuko felt like he'd missed something, ruined a moment he hadn't even known was happening. He simply nodded. "Exactly."

They went back to sharing their snacks and watching the performance, a strange silence settling between them.

Zuko cleared his throat, desperate to destroy the awkwardness he'd unwittingly dropped on them. "So… what's the festival for? Do you know?"

Sokka laughed, genuinely this time. "Shouldn't you know? You're the Fire Lord, right?"

Zuko shrugged. Sokka smiled, looking out over the crowd a few streets away. "They're celebrating just to celebrate. Because they can."

"Oh."

Sokka nudged him, bumping their shoulders again. "We did this, you know. Even here, the people were scared. The war wasn't good for anyone. We made this possible."

Zuko shrunk into himself, familiar guilt settling into his stomach. Sokka set down the cup, nearly empty, and turned to face him fully, folding his legs under him.

"You made this possible." He emphasized. "This is why you've been working so hard. Your people can celebrate like this, have fun openly in the streets, watch some fireworks! Did you see how many people from other nations were there, too?" Sokka reached out, tilting Zuko's chin to force him to look back at him. Zuko swallowed, overwhelmed by the emotion in Sokka's crystal blue eyes. "We fought so hard for this, and it's finally possible. This is… well, this is what I wanted to show you." He dropped his hand, looking away, embarrassed. Zuko felt his lips part in surprise, eyes wide. He looked out over the crowd, that strangely comforting feeling from before returning, and then looked back at Sokka.

Compelled by an urge he'd felt many times before but never acted on, he leaned forward, reaching for Sokka's face. Cradling his cheeks in both hands, he drew him in, their lips finally meeting. Sokka's lips twitched into a smile against his, tilting his head properly and meeting the kiss firmly. Zuko felt like his brain had melted, unable to process the thought that Sokka was kissing him back, had so long ago convinced himself it was hopeless. Tentatively, he darted his tongue out, licking at Sokka's lower lip in a question. Again, Sokka responded positively, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

Zuko leaned forward further, bending Sokka back towards the tiles of the roof, crowding over him possessively. Sokka laughed against him, winding his arms around Zuko's neck.

"A little pushy, are we?" He smirked.

Zuko swallowed, pulling back as far as Sokka's arms would allow. "I, uh… I think, maybe, those drinks were, um, stronger than we thought?" He rambled defensively.

"Oh, no. You don't get to blame this on the alcohol." Sokka tugged him down, drawing him into another kiss. "Besides, I got virgin drinks anyway. Completely alcohol-free. Like a good boy."

Zuko stared in shock, agape. "You didn't!"

"I did!"

"You let me believe they were alcoholic!"

Sokka shrugged. "You decided that, yourself. I just didn't contradict you."

Zuko groaned, burying his face in Sokka's collarbone. "Ugh, it's the same thing!" He felt Sokka's laugh, shoulders moving against him. "I hate you."

"Well, I love you." Sokka grinned, nudging Zuko's temple with his nose, urging the other to meet his gaze again. "Hey. I mean it. I really do."

Zuko swore his heart stopped. The air disappeared from his lungs. The churning of the chi in his gut stilled. He stared.

"I love you." Sokka repeated.

Zuko swallowed. He buried his face in Sokka's shoulder again, rubbing his forehead against his collarbone. He couldn't meet his eyes when he said it. "I love you. Also."

A hearty laugh bumped him off of Sokka's shoulder, and the tribesman held his face in both hands. "Get back to kissing me, you big dork." He ordered.

Zuko had never been so glad to follow an order in his life.

#zukka #fics #atla #avatar: the last airbender #crossposted to ao3

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crackerjackawrites · 3 years

Text

Walking Inferno (2600 Words)

A hired killer is in for a horrific surprise after his most recent hit. (originally written February 2021)

Don Giuliani - or just Don, as he liked to be known by his employees - sat in the large, leather bound chair at his desk. Papers were spread out across the table and a cigar sat in the nearby ashtray, still leaking smoke into the room. It was like a damn hotbox in there, and somebody needed to open a window (it wouldn’t be Don, he had people for that). Opposite Don sat Payton Gonzalez, a broad-chested bull of a man. His brown hair was beginning to recede, but it gave him a wise look, made up for what was going on up there in his head. Nothing, by Don’s estimate.

“So,” said Payton, his voice strong and confident, “What’s the next hit?”

“I’ve got the papers here,” replied Don, and he began to rummage through the papers on his desk. “Somewhere here.”

Eventually, Don pulled out an envelope from beneath a spread of important documents, “Here,” he muttered, and passed it over to Payton. Payton opened the file, it had a name in large letters at the top of the page,

“You’re kidding,” said Payton, “John Smith?”

“It’s great, huh? Like he’s some sorta fuckin’ character!”

Payton smirked, and carried on reading. Below the name was Mr. Smith’s date of birth, April second, 1968; his place of work, Reeves and Bromley Ltd.; and his address, Rotterdam Apartments, 247th Street, Manhattan. Also in the envelope was a picture of John, he had blonde hair and his chin was dotted with stubble, he had light blue eyes and thick eyebrows above them. The image showed him walking into work wearing a bomber jacket and dark jeans.

Payton dropped the papers onto his lap, “So what’s this guy’s deal?”

“It’s not him we have the problem with, it’s his daughter. She’s suspended her deal with us, so we’re gonna teach her a lesson. Hopefully she learns something here, or we’re gonna have to go after her other papa too.”

“How do you want me to go about it?” asked Payton.

“Car bomb,” said Don, “that should get the message across.”

“Of course, sir.”

Payton stood on the street opposite John’s car, two blocks away from Reeves and Bromley. It was coming up to 6pm, so John would be leaving work any second now and heading for his car. The bomb was planted. All Payton needed was for John to turn the keys and boom, he’d get the paycheck.

John strolled around the corner, he wore the same jacket that he had on in the image from his file. He looked like he was in a rush to get home. Good. John unlocked his car, got into the seat, fiddled with his keys for a second, pushed it into the- Boom! Payton had forgotten how quickly those things go off. People started screaming all around him. Payton joined in the panic, he knew how suspicious it would look if he didn’t. He always wished he could walk away with the swagger of an action hero from the movies, but his job never let him, so he had to make do with shouting and running away. One of the worst compromises in his life, he thought. Either way, this was another successful hit, some extra cash in his pocket.

Don Guiliani’s place looked abandoned, Payton guessed that was on purpose. The dark green paint on the door was peeling, revealing the rusted metal beneath it, and the windows were boarded up with rotting wooden planks. The bricks looked like they hadn’t been washed in years. Payton knocked on the door and the rusting peephole scraped open.

“Passwo-”

“Cinnamon Roll,” said Payton, he was sure Don got a kick out of making him say that every time he came in.

“Alright, man!” moaned the voice from the door, “Why’re you in such a fuckin’ rush?.”

The door opened, and Payton walked through, shoving the doorman with his shoulder. The building looked just as run down on the inside as it did the outside, Don really needed a designer. Payton made his way through the corridor, straight towards Don’s office. He knocked, 1-2-3, pause, 1-2, the second code that Don had given him, after “cinnamon roll”.

“Come in, boy,” called Don from within the room, Payton opened the door, “How did it go?”

“Fine,” said Payton, “You got the cash?”

“Of course,” Don reached down below his desk and pulled out a briefcase, he clicked open the locks to reveal wads of notes laying within, “There we are. Exactly what I promised it’d be.” Don locked the briefcase again.

“Thanks,” grunted Payton, and he grabbed the case. He got up, walked straight out the building, and continued all the way to his apartment. He’d count it up when he got back.

That night, Payton dreamed. He dreamed of fire, of his skin boiling until it melted from his bones. Molten metal piercing his charred flesh, burning his insides. He screamed until his throat either dried up or turned to ash, he couldn’t tell which came first. He dreamed of a man, a man who hated him. He cried for revenge. He cried to take Payton’s life.

Payton shot up from his bed. It was dark out still. He never had nightmares. Who was that figure? The devil? Payton wasn’t a particularly religious man. Was it John? Payton had never had that type of reaction after a hit before, so he doubted it. John wasn’t special in any way. Not to Payton at least. He checked the time on his phone: five forty-three. He had to get up at seven, no point in trying to sleep again now.

A few hours later, Payton stood at the entrance of Solar Mechanics, his other place of work. Much like Don’s, Solar was a pretty run-down building with tattered brick work and creaky garage doors, this one at least looked lived in from the outside, though. This definitely wasn’t the first time Payton had gone to work the day after a hit, but something felt off today. It was probably the dream. Payton tentatively stepped through the garage door, keeping his guard up more than usual. Payton locked eyes with his manager, George, from his small office space across the service area. George got up and waved at Payton.

“Hey, Payton!” he called from across the room, “I need you for something, asap.” He said asap like a word, not an acronym.

“Yes?” snapped Payton.

“Woah there, tiger.” He chuckled, “I just need you to do a service drive with one of the beasts over here.” George walked over to what he called “the beasts”, the section on the service floor reserved for the most powerful cars in stock. Payton followed.

“A Bugatti?”

“A damn powerful one too,” George chuckled again, “released this year.”

“Damn.” Payton muttered.

“Uh-huh.”

“And you just want me to take it out?”

“Yep. I’ll get you the key now. I only need you out there for like 30 minutes. No biggy.”

“Yessir.”

George returned with the key and bowled it to Payton. Who snatched it out of the air with ease. Payton stuck the key into the ignition and turned, causing the engine to ignite with power.

“Oh, baby!” called Payton over the light, satisfying rumble of the engine, “It's hot!”

“Enjoy!” said George, smirking. He slapped the back of the car like it was a racehorse and Payton drove out of the front of the garage smoothly. Payton drove aimlessly for a while, but came to his consciousness when he realised where he’d driven.

The sign of Reeves and Bromley Ltd. loomed over him and, for a while, Payton just stared up at it in awe. Shit, why did he come back? He didn’t mean to. Was it fate? Payton slowly drove away from the sign and around the corner, the same corner where the bomb had been planted. It was like he was on autopilot. Payton drove up the street, straining against all his willpower not to look at the space where the car had sat. But he gave in. There was still a large, black scorch mark on the road. The body of the car had been towed away but still little pieces of metal lay across the road like soldiers in a war they’d already lost. Payton could hear a crackling, like fire. He whipped his head around… But saw nothing. He turned back, to face an inferno across the street. The spiral of fire lashed out in all directions, it roared at Payton. People started screaming all around him, running from the flame. But Payton was frozen in fear. He squinted into the fire. It looked like there was someone in there. There was someone in there! A dark humanoid figure stood, wreathed in the blaze. It began to walk toward Payton.

“Shit, shit, shit!” he cried, scrambling at the door handle. He finally grasped hold of it and yanked, nearly pulling it clean off. He pushed open the door and practically fell out the door, only to find himself face to face with the raging blaze. The figure inside lifted their finger and pointed at Payton. It spoke with a strained voice,

“You…”

Payton started to back away, “Who- Who are you?”

“You… know... me.” And Payton did. He didn’t know how, but he now recognised the figure as John Smith. John’s corpse continued, “Why… did… you… kill me?”

“It was what I was told to do!” Payton panted, “If you wanna take it up with anyone, make it Don - Don Giuliani. Please!”

The fire surrounding John weakened, and he stepped forward, revealing his charred flesh and ashen bones. His voice became less strained, it still had a low growl to it “Does that justify it for you? That someone else asked you to kill me?”

“No,” Payton nearly tripped on a pothole, “Of course n-”

John erupted into flames and screamed, “Then why did you do it?” John began to extinguish again, “What did I even do?” John was now practically just a black skeleton, some small embers flickered beneath his remaining flesh.

“It wasn’t you,” muttered Payton, “It was your daughter.” Payton suddenly realised that the two of them were standing in the middle of an empty street, everyone else fled when John had appeared.

“Laura?” the small embers across John’s body started to multiply, “She was in the mafia?”

“Until recently,” Payton was starting to calm down now, the site of a burning corpse standing before him almost felt normal, “She stopped her deals, Don wanted to get back at her.”

John’s blaze roared up again. Payton could feel the heat, even from this distance, “So you killed me?”

“Like I said,” this scene felt entirely natural to Payton now, “it wasn’t my choice-”

“Every time you kill someone it’s a choice, and I know this wasn’t your first time.”

“Please, you should take this out on Don. I’ve got a kid at home! You know what that’s like.”

John tutted, Payton wasn’t sure how, “I know that’s a lie, Payton. I was in your apartment last night. I saw you... alone.”

“Shit,” Payton muttered. Before he could say anything else, John started walking towards him. All the familiarity Payton had felt was melting away, and he stared directly at the molten cadaver of the man he had murdered the evening before. Nearly all his flesh had melted away now, small scraps of skin were still smouldering on his skull and his tendons were beginning to break under the heat; leaving him to stagger forward with an uncanny speed.

Payton backed up into an alley, he was too far in when he realised the mistake. The two tall buildings on either side cast dark shadows into the alley, the shadows only broken by the roaring fires that were spilling out of John and towards Payton. He was trapped. Unless? Payton spun around to face the wall at the end of the alley, it looked just about climbable. He took a step back, hearing the crackling flames behind him, and ran at the wall. He leaped and caught the top of the bricks with his fingertips.

His muscles straining, Payton slowly pulled himself up the wall. But then, a searing pain caught his left thigh. Payton turned, and found John’s arms clasped onto his leg, the torrid heat was branding his thigh. John yanked Payton down with ease and threw him into the row of trash cans that lined the alley. John scrambled to his feet. As he was getting up, Payton noticed his left pant leg had a large hole burned into it where John had grabbed him. The burn went all the way through to his flesh, where it was bright red and scabbing.

“Don’t worry,” said John, his voice becoming more strained and alien as the fire surrounding him grew, “I’ll find Don after we’re done here. At least you’ll have the pleasure of knowing you weren’t the only one to die.”

Payton backed up against one of the walls, “Please! John, please. You don’t have to do this.”

“Oh but I do. If I kill you then I’ll be free of this life. Free of this torture!”

John took a step closer to Payton. Payton took a step back. John took a step closer to Payton, but Payton was up against the wall now. John took another step and Payton could feel the heat singeing the hairs on his arms. John moved his arm back and thrust it into Payton’s chest. Payton looked down, John had burnt a clean hole straight where his heart was. John yanked his arm back out and Payton sputtered, boiling blood pouring out of his mouth. Payton looked up, his vision blurred, and could just make out John holding his heart in one hand. John slowly tightened his grip around the heart until it popped, spraying blood over Payton’s face. Payton’s vision slowly dimmed, with John’s chuckle the only thing left to keep him company.

Don Giuliani sat in the large, leather-bound chair at his desk. He had finally decided to sort out the clusters of papers that had lay strewn across it every day for too long to remember. He was finding all the old hit profiles that had been given back to him from the agents, he really should’ve shredded those as he got them. It was lucky that he hadn’t been caught. A cop could easily bust down the door and execute him on the spot with all this evidence. He was putting the final file into the bag when he heard a shout from the hallway.

“Holy shit! He’s burnin’ the fuckin’ door down!” It was Oz, the doorman.

“What?” called Don, storming into the hallway. He looked at the large, metal door and, sure enough, the rusted steel was melting right before his eyes. “Holy shit.”

Oz shoved past him, his face a portrait of terror. Don looked back at the door, something was stopping his instinct to flee. The door began to glow orange with heat, then yellow, then white. Something punched through the door, sending globs of molten metal over the floor, it looked like a black, skeletal hand. A leg kicked a hole through the door afterwards. Then an entire charcoal skeleton stepped through, it was wreathed in flames. It looked straight at Don.

“Hello, Don.”

“J-John?”

#writeblr #writblr #writing #creative writing #horror #fiction #crackerjackawrites #standalones

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