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unknownblanked · 3 years

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Shameless self promotion

Main character: OC

Pairings: OC x Reborn

My fic:

*Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn*

*Rating M*

Summary: I have never wanted anything other than to be a boss. Sorry dear brother of mine, but I will become a better boss than you would ever become. Warning: M for a reason, not for innocent souls. 2 days updates

Kinda BL since MC who used to be a girl became a guy after transmigration. But idk what to even say at this point

Genre: fantasy/adventure/romance

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13908034/1/

First chapter preview:

Chapter 1

"Eff you! Eff me! Eff the world!" She shrieked with her lungs, hand pointed at the sky.

"I wanna hold guns and look cool in suits! I wanna be pardoned by university to become a boss! I wanna have a gang while playing background music!"

"IF I EVER REINCARNATE TO KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN, I'LL BECOME VONGOLA DECIMOOOOOOOO!"

Darkness enveloped her as she sunk deeper into the abyss, not knowing what was going on after that flash that blinded her eyes. Could it be isekai truck-kun? She scoffed at her own words, not believing a single thing that came out of her own thoughts. She felt a shuffle, then a thump as her whole world lifted in the air. Suddenly, a baby's cry chortled beside her, screaming.

What was going on? Was she being carried into some kind of ambulance? A hospital? Did she give birth-What? But she was still 19 years old and never touched a man's hand! The baby's cry grew louder, almost piercing her in the ears.

Was it even possible for her to remain conscious even though she couldn't open her eyes? She tried lifting her eyelids, but it remained glued shut, as if this impenetrable force was clamping down her eyes, telling her not to look.

A waft of air blew on her chest.

"[Papa! Look at them! Twins!]"

A woman's voice rang out loudly, but her tone was soft and melodic as the sounds of humans floated into her ears.

'...Japanese?'

"[Ah, but one isn't crying.]"

A man's voice rang out this time in front of her as she tried deciphering the words with all her experiences of watching anime for over 10 years. Crying? Did the man just say that 'one isn't crying?' Was he pointing to someone in the room?

She felt her whole world tip over before trying to flail, confusion ringing inside her mind before-

Slap!

"Waaaaaaaaah!"

'What the eff, bro?!'

She felt so sensitive-so...naked!

'Call my lawyer! I will sue you till you don't even have the freedom of speech! Lawyer! Lawyer!'

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalw!" She yelped her syllables that couldn't pop out of her mouth and tried again.

"Wawawawa-"

Something was weird. Very weird.

"[I think we've got ourselves a little weirdo from the get-go!]"

Her butt stung as she tried blinking her eyes, gasping twice and shaking her head to wake her up from this bad dream. Her vision stung the moment she did, lights blinding her as she screamed again, trying to bat away the light with her flimsy small fists. Through her blurry vision, she saw a man grinning from ear to ear before throwing her over his shoulder and patting her on the back. She humped, dry launching from the action as the woman's soft laughter rang from behind as her own eyes closed shut again.

What did she see? She didn't see clearly, but the world was so...colorful.

"[I think I have a name for this little weirdo already!]"

Name? What name? What the hell were these two strangers talking about? And why in the hell was she able to understand Japanese so clearly? And they messed up her pronouns-and-

She tried hard, fighting her clamped eyes, 'Almost there!'

"Sawada Isago! Golden dust for my career!"

Isago slammed his eyes open, blinking rapidly at the man who was now throwing his small body into the air, his golden-amber eyes completely dazzling Isago.

"Waah da dak."

His first words were swear words in English.

She stared absentmindedly out the front porch. No, he stared absentmindedly out the front porch this fine morning. The sky was bright blue while Isago glanced at the buzzing street of Namimori, a small town located at the edges of Japan. In the corner of his eyes, he saw a small bird land on one of the tree branches before someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Isa..go! Let's play!" Tsuna smiled sweetly at his younger brother, holding up his teddy in one hand. They were at the young age of four, Tsuna being born just minutes earlier than Isago. They seemed like twins, but one preferred a shorter hairstyle than the other, and their hair was in different colours.

"Hm...sure! What do you want to play?" Isago answered like how a four-year-old should and pushed himself onto his feet. Tsuna squeezed his teddy, pondering a bit before tilting his head to the side.

Tsuna was exactly the same in the anime, with spiky brown hair and brown eyes that shone brightly in the sun, his soft features held more of some baby fat than what was portrayed in the graphics, but still, Tsuna resembled Vongola Primo.

'Definitely a descendant of the Vongola family,' Isago quirked his lips as Tsuna explained his game of hide and seek, except the purpose was to hide and find teddy.

"Sure!" Isago chirped, holding his hand out for the teddy. "I'll go first then, since you never do, Tsuna."

Tsuna beamed brightly at his younger brother, giving his teddy over before Isago pointed to a wall in the corner of the room and Tsuna plodded over, covering his eyes as he started to count down from 100. Isago smiled slightly, tip-toeing to the washroom and turning on the lights to hide the teddy behind the rows and rows of shampoo bottles in one of the cupboards.

Isago frowned a bit when he realized that he couldn't reach the board, placed the teddy on the table and walked to the toilet that was beside the sink. He stepped onto the toilet, using it as his stepping stone and slammed his small hands onto the table, heaving himself upwards. Snatching the teddy from the original spot, Isago opened the cupboard and organized the bottles as a coverup, arranging the bottles so that not even the ears of the brown toy were visible from an adult's point of view.

Isago stepped down the table, plopping quietly onto his feet before listening to the countdown from Tsuna's mouth at the number 40. Isago smiled carefully, closing the lights as his gold eyes flashed through the mirror once, and Isago made his way to Tsuna's bedroom. Mom was cooking in the kitchen and humming about dad's arrival today.

Isago had retained his father's golden eyes, and yet had a shade of mocha as his hair color. Neither dad nor mom had the hair color, but Nana assumed that it was because her predecessor's hair color was close to black in the past. In contrast to Tsuna's spiky hair, Isago had flatter hair and was long, to the point that it was possible to tie it into a semi-ponytail. He had bangs covering the front in a slanted way, almost completely contrasting to Tsuna's cute and fluffy hair. Well, not that it mattered to Isago.

What was concerning to Isago, was that he was born as a boy.

"Ready or not, here I come!"

Isago heard Tsuna call from the bottom of the stairs before his small footsteps plattered onto the wood. Isago stared momentarily at the door before purposefully closing it and plopping down on Tsuna's bed. The bedsheets ruffled, crinkling a bit and Isago stared at his own crotch.

What the heck, this was so weird to have. It was so tiring to constantly have a thing dangling in between his legs. Even though it didn't hurt or feel uncomfortable, this new addition was a very mind-blowing...experience. Manspreading was also a new thing.

"Isago…?" Tsuna's face peeped into his own room and giggled before skipping over to his brother. "You must have placed teddy here!"

"I don't know," Isago replied with a small smirk. "Why don't you try and find it?"

"Teddy! Teddy!" Tsuna called cutely as if the bear was able to reply back to him.

"Tsuna, if you can find it then I'll ask mom to make your favourite Salisbury steak that she only makes when dad comes home!" Isago called as Tsuna's eyes fired up intensely.

"Steak! Steak! Steak!" Tsuna batted his fists on his crouched knees and started to chant it like some kind of song. Joy could be seen all over his face as he rustled his piles of stuff in the closet, then turned over to his desk and started rummaging in the drawers.

"Steak, steak, steaky, steak-"

Isago smiled secretly, knowing that Tsuna had no knowledge of dad coming home today. Honestly, Isago didn't know what to describe his dad. A good dad? No, he left his wife basically widowed from the moment they were born. A bad dad? You couldn't say that either.

Then again, mama never worked, so it was plausible to think that the house was bought and supplied with money from dad every year. Not to mention that the house was quite large for a family of three. Dad was probably also preparing the house to be the main hideout for the future Vongola.

"Iemitsu Sawada, huh?" Isago murmured his dad's name under his lips.

There was a reason why his dad stationed his family near the unknown town of Namimori. It was probably in order to protect them from the mafia. So in the end, was he a good dad? Isago watched Tsuna's fluffy hair swish in the lights as the sound of tires echoed into the neighborhood.

Isago lifted his eyebrows at the sound, turning his head to Tsuna's open window to see a short black car parked a few meters away from the Sawada residence. Isago stood up slowly, walking towards the window and hopped onto a small step box and leaned on the wall, crossing his arms together as he peered outside.

"Tsuna, let's rank this game harder. You have exactly 100 seconds like the countdown to find your teddy, or else the promise is off," Isago turned to Tsuna who's eyes widened like saucers, gasping before throwing his hands into the depths of his drawers.

"That's not fair, Isago!" The boy whimpered as Isago started to count the numbers from 100, forcing the small boy to sweat. Inside, Isago spotted a blond head popping out of the driver's seat.

The man was wearing orange overalls that were only pulled onto his waist. His dirty sweatshirt was worn in a fashion that showed his armpit hair clearly even from far away. The sight was disgusting.

"Men," Isago made a face, recognizing that it was his father. "66...67...68...69…"

"Isago! Slow down!" Tsuna wailed and rummaged through his toy box, tears streaming down his face at the decreasing numbers. Iemitsu pulled a construction hat out of the front side, then walked to the passenger's seat, opening the door to reveal another man wearing a blue vacation shirt with pink flowers on it.

The man stepped out of the car, smiling widely at his assistant who passed him a straw hat. As if the man noticed, his eyes flashed to the window, meeting the gaze of Isago. There was curiosity and wonder that passed through the male's eyes, but then greeted the child by lifting his hat and giving a salute which Isago returned with a polite nod.

'Vongola ninth,' Isago addressed the man quickly, curling his lips at the status before turning back to Tsuna, the numbers ending with the last count of zero.

"Isaaaagoo!" Tsuna sobbed into his long-sleeved sweater, sniffing as the sleeve soaked up his snot. "I couldn't find it-I'm sorry!"

Isago's eyes softened at the small boy, hopping down from the stepping box before crouching next to Tsuna who was on his knees.

"Tsuna, Tsuna, why are you sorry?" Isago patted Tsuna on the shoulders. Tsuna threw his arm down, staring at Isago who had a soft smile on his face.

"Be-because Isago's favorite...also steak…" the young boy blew his wet cheeks and Isago chuckled, pulling his brother into a large hug. That was not exactly true, Isago's favourite was sweet parfaits rather than savory main course meals, but Nana had never brought the two to a sweets cafe so Isago had made up his preferences to match Tsuna's.

"How about this, I'll magically transform the steak onto the table if you promise me one thing," Isago patted Tsuna who blew into his shoulder. Momentarily, Isago made a face of disgust, but once thinking that they were from the same blood, a smile was forcefully plastered onto his soft features.

Tsuna also realized his own misdoings, instantly freezing before wiping his own sleeve on Isago's shoulder, trying to correct the snot, only to make it smear even wider on the hoodie.

"I'll have to change my clothes," Isago sighed before pushing Tsuna away and walking to his own room. Tsuna followed like an abandoned puppy. His two fingers fiddled as he watched Isago pull his T-shirt off, and grabbed a random sweater before pulling it over his head.

"Mm sorry Isago…" Tsuna trailed off, staring guilty on the ground as Isago's head emerged out. "I will promise anything that you want! Forever!"

'What a dangerous promise, Tsuna,' Isago's eyes glimmered before turning towards his brother. The shadows in his room casted upon Isago's face as his grin widened almost too maliciously.

"Then promise me Tsuna, no matter what the circumstance you must not harm me. If you do, then our relationship as brothers are over." Isago's hair fell over his eyes as he brushed it back, getting a clear look at the boy's small face.

"Harm?" Tsuna tilted his head curiously at the word, repeating to make sure he pronounced it correctly. "What's that?"

"It means that I will be gone from your life forever, Tsuna," Isago's voice deepen with glee at the horror that flashed through the boy's face. Tsuna's hands instantly clutched the sides of his shorts, shaking his head furiously.

"I will never harm you! I will never! Never!"

"Good," Isago walked closer to his dear brother, jerking his thumb under Tsuna's teary eyes. The young boy looked fragile and broken at Isago's words, almost as if he couldn't imagine living without Isago.

"Because I love you so much that it may serve as a double-edged sword to both of us," Isago gave little Tsuna a small peck on his cheeks, smirking at Tsuna's pouting face as his fingers clutched the edges of Isago's sweater.

"I wove you too," Tsuna buried his face into his brother's sweater, murmuring the phrase until the front door was pushed open and mama's clear voice rang through the house, calling the two boys down.

It was true, Tsuna was a precious little brother to Isago, even if Tsuna was legally the older one. But that didn't matter in front of power. If Tsuna stood in the way of succession, then Isago would cut off Tsuna's arms and legs to prevent Tsuna from overtaking the throne. That was how cold-hearted Isago was.

But then again, was Isago able to do it?

That's why Isago would give Tsuna the choice. He would not harm Tsuna until his own brother decided that Isago was a threat to the family and his life. He would let Tsuna break their relationship, and make him wallow in despair. As long as Tsuna loved him, Isago would let him go. But if Tsuna disobeyed, then everything will be over.

"Come on, brother," Isago gestured towards the door, stepping forward with Tsuna holding him. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Iemitsu was grinning at both boys, arms extended.

"Weirdo Isago! TsunaTsuna! Papa is back home!"

The two boys huddled over to their papa, Tsuna waddling towards him while Isago was pulled into a large embrace, dad's hand ruffling in his hair as Isago grinned at the man. The smell of sweat and tobacco filled Isago's nostrils, instantly making him suppress a sour face at his own father. Mama giggled at the family reunion while Isago's eyes trailed to her, gesturing for a group hug.

"Oh, dear!" Mama threw herself into the group hug and Iemitsu kissed her sloppily on the cheeks, rubbing her face with fondness. It was then Tsuna noticed a stranger behind dad, smiling sweetly at the family after Tsuna opened his mouth with quivering fear.

"Oh, Tsuna! Don't worry, this is Timoteo-" Dad looked over at the grandfather figure, releasing all of us as he gestured politely at the man. "-My boss."

"Welcome!" Nana grinned, lowering her body into a 90-degree bow. "Thank you for taking care of my husband all this time!"

Isago glanced towards his mom, then followed, repeating the same words of thanks. Tsuna only stood there, confused and not knowing what to do and hid behind his mother, clutching her apron.

"Tsuna!" Mom bickered with a sigh but smiled soon afterwards. She patted me on the head as a 'good job' before apologizing for her son's imprudence.

"That isn't a problem," Timoteo said, softening his eyes at us before crouching down to our eye level. "I have to thank you for having such a wonderful father that I can trust."

'Of course, you're literally naming his son as successor,' Isago thought bitterly before pulling Tsuna out from behind mom. 'So who is it going to be? Tsuna, or me?'

Vongola ninth had to choose between the two of them because they were the only ones that would be left in the Vongola bloodline. If what Isago remembered was correct, there was more than one successor to the Vongola line, but they all died, which left Tsuna being the only one that could inherit the family.

Tsuna's hand started to quake before Isago squeezed it reassuringly, giving him a small nudge. Tsuna was still hesitating so Isago started first.

"I'm Isago, this is Tsuna, my older brother!" He deliberately said, lowering his head as Tsuna, this time, followed his younger brother's lead.

"Oh, he's the older one, huh?" Timoteo turned his gentle gaze towards the older brother and nodded. Isago pleaded that they were going to leave the throne of successor to the worthy, not the older. Isago was going to prove himself worthy, prove himself, to be a better leader than his brother.

Tsuna was not suited as a leader, maybe in the long run of taking care of his family members, yes, but Isago was more of a leader in the expanding and influential way.

'Give the role of successor to me, and I will hold Vongola to its glory. I will make Vongola the strongest in history, and it will flourish more than the past ten generations combined.'

Isago wanted the Vongola position. He wanted it desperately.

As if Timoteo could hear Isago's thoughts, the grandfather's eyes turned to the younger sibling, staring at him hard. Isago didn't move his eyes, only stared back and tried to convey the message through his gaze.

'Give it to me, I want it. I need it.'

Timoteo's gaze deepened, opening his mouth to say something as conflict passed through his face, then clamped his mouth shut. Iemitsu, sensing that something was sort of amidst, invited his boss into the house, telling the group that he was famished. Nana gasped, pardoning her forgetfulness before guiding the guest to the table.

Isago let go of the breath he held inside, looking towards Tsuna who was staring at the grandfather.

#katekyo hitman reborn #romance #fanfiction #ambitious #original character #reborn x reader #sawada tsunayoshi #katekyou hitman reborn fanfiction #katekyo home tutor #fanfic

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celtics534 · 4 years

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Hi! I have always loved your stories and when I saw that you had released 'dress' I was so happy!! I finally got time to read yesterday and have to say that it's simply delightful! I also wanted to ask if we could get a peep or a summary of 'Nothing holding me back'??!!

AWWWW you’re so sweet! Thank you so much! I’d love to share a little bit from Nothing Holding me Back

Harry’s first word that jumped into Harry’s mind was sophisticated. The walls were trimmed with a gold that brightened from the lights Ginny flicked on. It wasn’t an overly large room, just the basic things all hotels provided (television, closet, safe, toilet, and bed), but everything looked elegant and comfortable. It made Harry think of the photos he’d seen of kings and queen’s rooms. His eyes focused on the bed. There was only one… one, albeit large, bed.

Logically Harry had known the moment they were sharing a room that there would only be one bed, but his mind hadn’t thought of all the ramifications one bed meant.

Ginny however didn’t seem perturbed by the lack of sleeping accommodations. She settled in, placing her bags on the floor at the foot of the one bed. Her trainers were next, landing three meters apart from each other. She jumped up onto the poofy mattress making her bounce. She laughed.

That laugh… how could a laugh make his whole body turn to jelly? It was like a hurricane, all happening so suddenly, sending him spinning out of control. But for some reason, he didn’t care where he landed. Hurricane Ginny could take him anywhere and he’d be okay with it. He couldn’t call it love - wouldn’t call it love, but whatever this was… Harry had no desire to ever see it end.

“Harry?” Ginny was smiling at him from the bed. She had posed herself so she lay at the foot of the mattress, her body horizontal to the headboard, her head resting on her arm. “I think this needs to be said…” She lowered her voice. “Draw me like one of your french girls.”

He snorted. “Seriously?” She held his gaze, her come-hither expression sending his pulse into overdrive. Wait, was she serious?

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fizzyxcustard · 4 years

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Curiosity (Francis Dolarhyde)

Day 29 of Lyn’s Writing Event

Event Masterlist

Summary: You have slept over at Francis’ house and let your curiosity get the better of you.

Warnings: Dark themes. Anxiety mention, but nothing too bad.

Comments: I felt like a change was in order, so I wrote this in first person. Enjoy! The event is almost at a close, and I want to thank all of you who have followed me through my very first challenge participation.

Curiosity never hurt anyone, right? That was what I thought on the night I fell asleep at Francis’ house. I’d had a bit of a weird crush on the guy for a while, ever since he started at my place of work. Most people steered clear of him, but I liked to hang around with him. He certainly seemed like he needed people on his side, so I decided to be his friend, and things had gone from there.

I’d never really considered all that much weird about him; I assumed he had social anxiety and just didn’t interact much with those around him. But I later learned how wrong I was. Even if he did suffer from social anxiety, he also had problems that were buried much deeper than that.

I woke up in the early hours; I knew it was early hours because the summer sunlight was beginning to peep through the window. The bed I was lay on was extremely comfortable, but the room was quite dim and dingy. I was sure that the evening before I had fallen asleep on the couch. Francis must have brought me up to bed. it gave me flashbacks of the times when my dad told me that he’d escorted me upstairs when I’d fallen asleep in front of the TV. Yet I had no recollection of ever waking in the night to walk upstairs. That always freaked me out.

Like most mornings, I needed the toilet. So I slipped out of bed and ventured out into the hallway. The whole house was dim; the carpets and paintwork were all old fashioned and dark with age. Had Francis never considered sprucing this place up? It definitely didn’t have the vibe of a fun bachelor pad.

I found the toilet and relieved my aching bladder. Too much coffee from the night before probably.

Just a few feet away from the bathroom was a set of steps leading up to a third floor. The attic? I peered up into the gloom and could just about make out that the door was ajar. Should I pop my head around the door and take a peep? One look couldn’t hurt.

The floorboards were a little creaky, but nothing excessive. Hopefully Francis wouldn’t hear. At the top of the steps, my hand hovered over the gold doorknob and I took a deep breath, preparing for my entrance.

The room was like every other room in the house, dim and gloomy. It was a wonder the place wasn’t haunted by Francis’ relatives who’d left him the property.

It was like any other attic, I suppose, home to boxes of junk. There was a painting, I noticed, directly opposite me as I walked in. It was in good view, supported on an easel. Had Francis’ painted that? It looked pretty decent if it was his handiwork.

My eyes caught sight of a large, leather-bound book. It was a little dusty on the cover. Maybe a photo album.

Boy, was I wrong.

It was full of newspaper clippings. But not just any clippings; they were all stories regarding recent murders, cut from various local and national papers. The Tooth Fairy. I’d seen the reports many times and every time they showed the faces of the poor family who had been killed, my heart bled with them. So much evil in the world.

I flicked through the book; that was all it contained: clippings. A shiver raced through me and I pushed a terrible thought from my mind, one that would later prove to be, unfortunately, very correct.

Francis had probably just got an interest in the criminal mind, I re-evaluated. That naivety and wanting to see everyone’s good side would later be my downfall.

My fingers picked up clippings that had not yet been glued in. I recognised the victims names from being three nights earlier.

The next thing that happened will be something I will never forget. His voice, full of anger, and possibly hatred, bore into me, sending a sliver of ice down my neck and back. The hairs on my neck stood to attention and I shivered again.

“You better put that down, or else....”

#Francis dolarhyde #Lyn's writing event #hannibal #Richard armitage #reader insert

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nix-that-rad-lass · 4 years

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A Bunch of Links, Receipts, and Sources for my fellow Terves

A Girls Place In The World by William Buckner About the reality of women and girls around the world https://quillette.com/2019/05/09/a-girls-place-in-the-world/

I Was A Lesbian Tomboy Allowed To Be Female; I Fear Young Girls Today No Longer Have That Choice by Tonje Gjevjon About the transing of gender nonconforming girls that would likely grow up to be lesbians if not for being transitioned before they are even old enough to understand what transition is. https://www.feministcurrent.com/2019/06/11/i-was-a-lesbian-tomboy-allowed-to-be-female-i-fear-young-girls-today-no-longer-have-that-choice/

Dagny on Social Media, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Youth, and Detransitioning. A transcript of a talk given by Dagny, a detransitioned young woman and member of the pique resilience project https://www.feministcurrent.com/2019/06/04/dagny-on-social-media-gender-dysphoria-trans-youth-and-detransitioning/

Ross Douthat Revealed the Hypocrisy in Liberal Feminist Ideology, and They’re Pissed by Meghan Murphy Self explanatory title https://www.feministcurrent.com/2018/05/04/ross-douthat-revealed-hypocrisy-liberal-feminist-ideology-theyre-pissed/

A Neo-Liberal Concept of Freedom has Allowed Gender Ideology to Take Hold by Heather Brunskell Evans https://www.feministcurrent.com/2018/12/02/neoliberalism-patriarchy-gender-identity/

Inauthentic Selves: The Modern [LGB(TQ+)] Movement is Run By Philanthropic Astroturf and Based on Junk Science https://medium.com/@sue.donym1984/inauthentic-selves-the-modern-lgbtq-movement-is-run-by-philanthropic-astroturf-and-based-on-junk-d08eb6aa1a4b

Politicians are Betraying Women in the Rush To Support Trans Rights by Jenni Russell Self explanatory https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/comment/politicians-are-betraying-women-in-the-rush-to-support-trans-rights-xzvhcf7m8

“Don’t Forget”, a compilation of sources, receipts, and other resources on male violence, compiled by @astro-didacted on tumblr https://nixtheoneandsecond.tumblr.com/post/188876269165/dont-forget?is_related_post=1

Pretty much a masterpost of RadFem beliefs and resources, compiled by @unleashtherage on tumblr https://nixtheoneandsecond.tumblr.com/post/188804771810/radical-feminism-is-a-political-movement-in

PDF of Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That” https://www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that.pdf

The Wikipedia Page for the one and only TERF Icon, Magdalen Berns. She deserved better! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magdalen_Berns

A bunch of Andrea Dworkins works in a google drive PDF https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1i3r-gSizLC6UbyvM1ZJyCYMHtYvdss-S

Sex Before Kissing: How 15 year old girls are dealing with porn obsessed boys by Melinda Tankard Reist Self explanatory https://fightthenewdrug.org/sex-before-kissing-15-year-old-girls-dealing-with-boys/

Some tea on the tumblr porn ban from 2018. https://fightthenewdrug.org/tumblr-banned-porn-from-its-platform-one-year-ago-how-is-the-site-doing-now/

Why Victims Freeze Up During Sexual Assaults by Jackie Hong Tells about experiences, and the fight, flight, and freeze response. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/wd7945/i-froze-up-when-i-was-sexually-assaulted-and-we-should-stop-dismissing-that-response

Why Women Have Higher Rates of PTSD Than Men by Melanie Greenberg (spoiler: its because of sexual violence and misogyny)https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201809/why-women-have-higher-rates-ptsd-men

The Difference Between Toxic Masculinity and Being A Man by Harris O’Malley Finally, a small handful of men are actually attempting to be better and make a difference! Took em long enough! https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-difference-between-toxic-masculinity-and-being-a-man-dg/

Criminal Justice System: The Actual Amount of Sexual Assault Perps, Pimps, Johns, Rapists, and Pedophiles that Get Away With It https://rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system

The First Legal Abortion Providers Tell Their Stories by Alex Ronan https://www.thecut.com/2015/10/first-legal-abortionists-tell-their-stories.html?mid=twitter-share-thecut#

How Much Does An Abortion Cost? by Charlotte Cowles Not only covers the price, but also types of abortion, prevention, and more on reproductive health https://www.thecut.com/2018/11/how-much-does-an-abortion-cost.html

8 Signs Your Partner Is Being Sexually Coercive by Suzannah Weiss https://www.bustle.com/articles/155328-8-signs-your-partner-is-being-sexually-coercive-because-you-can-always-say-no

Why Conservative Women are Okay With Harassment by Jennifer Wright This is regarding not only the general societal expectations which conservative women help uphold and enforce, but also why they are surprisingly okay with electing sexual predators to the government https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/politics/a23453699/conservative-women-response-brett-kavanaugh-allegations-sexual-assault/

Archaeologists Find New Way To Determine Sex of Cremated Individuals by Katherine J Wu Because we all run into those TRA’s that say its impossible to know someones ‘gender’ or ‘sex’ by just looking at them, or their remains in the case of those already passed. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/archaeologists-find-new-way-determine-sex-cremated-individuals/

Analysing the Bones: What Can A Skeleton Tell You? by Hayley Dunning Again, because TRAs love to say that skeletons are ambiguous when, in fact, they are not https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/analysing-the-bones-what-can-a-skeleton-tell-you.html

Sex Determination in Skeletal Remains from the Medieval Adriatic Coast - Discriminant Function Analysis of Humeri Hmm, wonder what this is about. You guessed it! More differences in the bone and skeletal structures of male and female humans https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3692335/

Sex Determination from the Talus of South African Whites by Discriminant Function Analysis Woah, more information on telling skeletons apart by sex! Almost like human skeletons differ between the sexes https://journals.lww.com/amjforensicmedicine/Abstract/2003/12000/Sex_Determination_From_the_Talus_of_South_African.3.aspx

The Reliability of Sex Determination of Skeletons from Forensic Context in the Balkans Oh my god, whats this?? More factual evidence of differences in physiology between the *gasp* TWO human sexes?? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/15567621/

Mandibular Ramus Flexure: A New Morphologic Indicator of Sexual Dimorphism in the Human Skeleton Okay, okay, I think thats all the skeleton stuff for now https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/(SICI)1096-8644(199603)99:3%3C473::AID-AJPA8%3E3.0.CO;2-X

Further Evidence to Show Population Specificity of Discriminant Function Equations for Sex Determination Using the Talus of South African Blacks Partner to a previously aforementioned article https://www.astm.org/DIGITAL_LIBRARY/JOURNALS/FORENSIC/PAGES/JFS2003431.htm

Why Talking About Bowie’s Sexual Misconduct Matters by Angelina Chapin Article about David Bowie and his misconduct. pretty much, you shouldnt always separate the art from the artist. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-talking-about-bowies-sexual-misconduct-matters_b_9009230

Witches, Midwives, and Nurses: A History of Women Healers by Barbara Ehrenreich and Deirdre English http://www.feministes-radicales.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Barbara-Ehrenreich-and-Deirdre-English-Witches-Midwives-and-Nurses-A-History-of-Women-Healers.-Introduction..pdf

This entire blog is gold. To quote them: Saying No To Penis is NOT Hate Speech [ffs] http://thenewbacklash.blogspot.com/?

Steven Hassan’s BITE Model about what constitutes a cult. You know, like the gender cult. https://freedomofmind.com/bite-model/

What Is Darvo? by Jennifer J Freyd DARVO is the reaction that many sexual offenders display in response to being faced with the consequences of their actions. https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html

Sick Woman Theory by Johanna Hedva Genuinely just read this, its too good to summarise http://www.maskmagazine.com/not-again/struggle/sick-woman-theory?fbclid=IwAR2cQyCRT5olIzkBGfO_F5HvES28bhdIcbUyc9g1W_p0L6o7U8gopDp5Kxw

Taking Back Your Mind: A Radical Feminist Approach to Recovering from Porn Use by Kitty at medium com https://medium.com/@kittyit/taking-back-your-mind-a-radical-feminist-approach-to-recovering-from-porn-use-8ae9347c3d8f

About Female Infanticide http://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/abortion/medical/infanticide_1.shtml

About Female Genital Mutilation https://www.who.int/en/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation

About Child Marriage https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/about-child-marriage/

Who Cooked the Last Supper? from @aeroposter

https://aeroposter.tumblr.com/post/166368772300/who-cooked-the-last-supper-by-rosalind-miles

Breast ironing: Abhorrent Practice Becoming Endemic In UK by Alexandra Sims

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/breast-ironing-abhorrent-practice-becoming-endemic-in-uk-a6950521.html

About Forced Pregnancy

http://www.stopvaw.org/harmful_practices_forced_pregnancy

Did Sissy Porn Make Me Trans or Was I Trans All Along? As if we needed any more proof that it is, indeed, a fetish

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/2mn8au/did_sissy_porn_make_me_trans_or_was_i_trans_all_a/

Did Porn Make Me Transgender? Who coulda thunk it

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/did-porn-make-me-transgender.61492/

Jealous of Lesbians? Yep, thats right folks. Transbians really are just rapey straight guys with a lesbian fetish. https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/55zkbs/jealous_of_lesbians/

Just when you thought men couldnt get much worse... https://metro.co.uk/2013/07/09/peeping-tom-arrested-after-hiding-in-septic-tank-and-staring-at-people-using-the-toilet-3874756/

Houston Man Posed as a Doctor to Rape a Student

https://abc13.com/5730127/

Rape In War: Challenging the Tradition of Impunity

https://www.hrw.org/legacy/women/docs/rapeinwar.htm

Doctors & Sex Abuse: Patients Sexually Abused While Sedated

http://doctors.ajc.com/doctor_sex_abuse_sedated/

Man pretended to be gay in order to get close to a woman and ultimately rape her

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/man-convicted-of-raping-woman-who-he-allegedly-befriended-by-pretending-to-be-gay/

Complete collection of Andrea Dworkins work

http://radfem.org/dworkin/

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Cruising for a bruising, Part 5 (Branjie) - Q-Tip & TheDane

Authors note: Thank you everyone for your patience, and for keeping up with this crazy story that Q-tip and I are having so much fun writing!

“We co-dependent, a restricted area, an invitation only kinda party and my dick is first, last and fucking second on that guest list”

Brooke was a master at damage control, and Vanjie thanked the gods for it. It had saved their asses countless times, mostly because both of them had a problem keeping their hands to themselves in public places.

Vanjie had barely even recovered from her orgasm, still clinging to her boyfriend, before Brooke had pulled up her sweats and detangled them. She calmed Detox down, the other queen relaxing the moment Brooke had explained that they hadn’t touched anyone’s stuff, Brooke effortlessly standing like a shield between Vanjie and everyone else, the tension in the room officially lifting when Silky made a joke about how someone’s stuff had been touched, everyone erupting into laughter.

Vanjie managed to escape somewhat unnoticed, throwing on her caftans and getting back to her makeup table, everyone else still chatting with Brooke on the other end of the room. Everyone except A’keria who was watching her with a smirk, Vanjie seeing the reason the moment she spotted herself in the mirror. Her mouth was a war zone of red and purple, Brooke really going in on the kiss without a care in the world, but most of it was salvageable, her eyes and brows still in place, though her contour had been halfway destroyed by Brooke’s hands on her face.

“Hey.”

Vanjie was blending her foundation as she peeked over her shoulder, spotting Brooke who was standing with a sheepish grin on her face, a disaster of lipstick matching her own, Brooke’s cheeks still dusted with pink. She had changed too, the lilac color of her caftan just as gorgeous as the first time Vanjie had seen it.

“Do you have room for one more?”

Everyone else was hustling out the doors, all ready and finished. Brooke held up her makeup bag and her mirror, and Vanjie realised that Brooke was asking if they could redo their faces together.

“You sure you’re gonna keep your mess to yourself miss thing?” Vanjie smiled.

“I’ll do my best?”

Vanjie pretended to consider it, gently tapping her brush against her chin. It was a true rarity that she had the upper hand in moments like this. Usually the roles were reversed, Vanjie running around like the confused but enthusiastic puppy needing Brooke’s attention more than she needed air, but if there was one person she could never say no to, it was Brooke.

“Good, cause I don’t want you messing up my shit.”

Brooke laughed, and Vanjie moved aside, Brooke sitting down next to her, instantly moving right up against her, their thighs touching. Brooke caught Vanjie’s foot under the table, hooking their feet together, her hand resting on Vanjie’s hip. They never got ready together, their original unspoken pact of keeping a professional distance in the werk room carrying into their lives off the show so naturally they had never discussed it. In their L.A apartment they each had a drag room, the fact that they needed that space as high on their list as room for Brooke’s cats. Vanjie hoped they could possible get a dog too, though they hadn’t found the perfect one just yet, both of them still traveling so much Brooke was sometimes scared Henry and Apollo would forget who she was all together.

Vanjie drew an invisible line down the center of their table, Brooke’s eyes following her finger.

“That’s your side Mami.”

Brooke snorted. “Sure.”

“Here.” Vanjie handed Brooke a makeup wipe, her boyfriend taking it and wiping her chin, Brooke’s palm covered in red from holding her face in place, Vanjie’s cock twitching.

She talked about it loud and proud, Vanjie happily proclaiming to the world how strong Brooke was, sometimes even semi stalking Brooke at the gym to take video of her to brag online, but few knew how fucking hot she found it that Brooke was stronger than her. Vanjie almost lost her breath sometimes at how easily Brooke could pick her up and throw her around, hold her above her head or press her against a wall.

Vanjie grabbed an extra wipe, taking Brooke’s hand and rubbing the lipstick off. She rarely got to be so close at this stage in the process, Brooke peeking into Vanjie’s mirror to make sure the last of her ruined makeup was gone before she plugged her own in, the light turning on. Vanjie picked up her beautyblender, quickly going in with her heaviest duty dermablend, the high temperatures on the cruise making it even more of a struggle to make sure a mug stayed on. Brooke was painting too, her boyfriend touching up with Krylon instead.

“This is nice.”

“Real nice.”

Vanjie pushed one of Brooke’s lipsticks back, her things already migrating past the invisible line.

Brooke had been nominated as the messiest queen with a unanimous vote from the season 11 sisters, and Vanjie would have to agree, though Brooke would defend herself all the way to her grave. Brock was normally fine, her boyfriend never bringing enough stuff to truly get messy, but Brooke had a way of exploding everywhere.

They had brickered about what makeup belonged to who more times than Vanjie could count whenever they were forced to share space to get into drag. It was the reality of a drag queen’s life that you sometimes get ready in sketchy bathrooms or half broken toilets, which was also why they always tried to avoid working with each other on individual bookings. Vanjie more often than not feeling like she was playing some sick form of memory cards when she was once again sat with two almost identical bottles of pros-aide, trying to decipher from the washed out labels if it belonged to Brooke or to her.

“Just don’t make a habit of coming here.” Vanjie looked at Brooke, a smile playing on her face as she pushed Brooke’s makeup with her hand, Brooke’s stuff already inching her side of the table. “I ain’t got time for your messy ass on the regular.”

Brooke laughed, pressing a quick kiss against Vanjie’s temple. “I love you too.”

Detox was sure she was going to crack a rib, everyone singing along to “Drag is magic”, Nina somehow managing to make a show with kids music not only entertaining but straight up hilarious as she pranced around on the stage, wearing a giant dinosaur costume and shaking her tail to the chorus.

Brooke was dancing too, her movements most of all looking like a noodle that was waved around in the air. Detox hadn’t expected to have anywhere near this much fun on the cruise, yesterday’s water fight and today’s wardrobe spectacle something she had tucked away in the most secret parts of her heart for a rainy day and when drag wasn’t fun at all.

Detox had known Brooke for years, and considered her a friend, a fierce and formidable but also incredibly uptight friend. Detox used to see it as her duty to loosen Brooke up, to introduce her to the fun sides of life, to make sure Brooke also remembered that life was more than competitions and being the best.

Normally Detox would be doing her all to get Brooke drunk and find her some trade, to make sure she was having fun, but as she watched Brooke hoist Vanjie up, settling the smaller queen on her shoulders so Vanjie could see everything, Detox realised Brooke didn’t need her for that anymore. She had Vanjie now, and probably a dinosaur costume in her near future, if the screams of delight coming from Vanjie were anything to believe.

“You ready for the stage?”

Brooke looked at Vanjie one last time, his boyfriend a vision in gold. They were sitting backstage, Vanjie going over her cue cards one last time. They had eaten a late lunch, Brooke hitting the gym with Kameron while Vanjie had just taken a short nap in full face. Brooke coming back to their room, gently waking Vanjie with a can of red bull, his boyfriend already bouncing off the walls once again.

“I was born ready.”

Brooke had to agree. He had never met anyone so effortlessly fun, and though Brooke would rather dance an entire performance en pointe without toe nails, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Vanjie would kill the afternoons entertainment. There were only minutes until the clock struck 10, and one of the most anticipated events of the cruise was about to take off. The Vanessa Vanjie Mateo quiz sold out in minutes the moment the tickets went online. Originally, Brooke had not believed his ears when Vanjie had pitched him the idea, her Silky and A’keria jotting down the outline of it in a single afternoon filled with wine and Chinese food while Brooke had been in Toronto.

“You look it.” Brooke smirked, grabbing Vanjie’s hips and pulling her in. “You always look like perfection.”

“Awh.” Vanjie smiled, running her cards down Brooke’s face. “I think you’re full of it Mama.”

“But is it working?”

“A little too well bitch.” Vanjie leaned down, kissing Brooke, her hand twisted into Brooke’s leather jacket. “You better be keeping those ears open cause I expect you to be the winner of tonight, you hear?”

“We’ll see.”

“Vanjie!” They both looked up, Brooke blushing as one of the stage techs showed their face. There had to be something in the water, or maybe it was just the climate, but Brooke felt unable to keep his hands to himself. “You’re needed!”

“Yes ma’am!” Vanjie threw a thumbs up in the direction of the sound guy, a last smile playing on her lips as she looked at Brooke.

“Gimme kiss?”

Brooke tugged on the gold tassels of Vanjie’s dress, the two of them kissing one last time. “Can’t wait to watch you.”

“You better.” Vanjie laughed, and Brooke released her, the crowds cheer filling his ears before he even truly realised that she was gone.

“Holla’ in the house!” Vanjie slapped her microphone, laughing loudly when the audience jumped. “It’s Miss Vanjie Vanjie Vanjie bitch and tonight, TONIGHT, we’re playing a little game. Y’all always creeping and peeping up in my DM’s and my Twitter, but not today Mary, oh no today I!-” Vanjie pointed at herself. “Vanessa Vanjie Mateo gets something!” Vanjie smiled brightly. “In my hand I have a stack of super secret crazy kooky ninja level questions about me and Brooke Lynn’s personal business.”

The crowd cheered, and Vanjie would have stopped, but she was already on a role.

“The rules are real fucking simple. You guys get it right, I take a shot! B-U-T, if you hos get it wrong, y’all have to drink and pay me a dollar. Why you ask? Cause it takes a lot of money to look this expensive, and I wanna take my boo on a proper resort vacation experience, okay? We talking little umbrellas in the drinks and a private beach so I can oogle his junk like I damn well please. We all comprende?! Good! Cause here comes the first question!”

Watching Vanjie on stage was an experience like no other, and Brooke always enjoyed it more than he could put into words. He had tried to explain to once, to explain how brilliant Vanjie was, but even then it had come off jumbled and crooked, not at all justifying the intense pride, warmth and love Brooke felt in his chest whenever he saw Vanjie in her element.

Tonight however, he saw a Vanjie who was rapidly getting more and more drunk as she tossed back shot after shot, her estimation of the stalking capacities of the gays aboard the ship clearly not calculated correctly. Brooke had originally sat on the edge of the front row, laughing along and waving when it was required, making sure that Vanjie could easily spot him if needed, but right now it seemed like Vanjie needed a water, more than she needed anything else.

The crowd laughed, Vanjie taking another shot and Brooke stood up, making a quick line for the bar, brushing past Nina, Raja and Cracker who had all volunteered to distribute shots to the guests.

“Can I have a water?” Brooke grabbed his phone, quickly filming Vanjie who was loudly quizzing a fan on the lyrics to her track “I’m Vanjie.”

“Sure thing stranger.“ Brooke looked up, the voice weirdly familiar, and that’s when he realised that he knew the bartender, the blonde hair and striped t-shirt giving it away at once.

“Justin? Hi!”

“Woop!” Vanjie drank her shot. “I didn’t expect y’all hos to be so goddamned clever. This whole thing is blowing up in my face in record speed!” Vanjie laughed.

Vanjie had no idea why she had never done this before, the firing back and forth with the audience making her feel like a regular Alex fucking Trebek. She was losing miserably, but this was still easily the most fun she had had at a gig in a long time when she wasn’t dancing.

Vanjie switched to her next card, a giant smile breaking out on her face. “Alright homos, here comes a hard one.” The room spinning slightly but this was one of her favorite questions of the night, a bonus round she had spent extra time on to make sure she would earn at least a few coins. “What’s the original name, and yes you heard me correctly, of the ballet where my boo thang himself, Brooke Lynn Hytes, was cast as the part of death at the Cape Town City Ballet?”

Vanjie’s eyes swept the room. She couldn’t see Brooke, but she knew she had to be out there somewhere.

“I’m real proud cause I went to the trouble of googling this shit myself. Full Nancy Drew mama, I even got myself a reddit profile and shit so y’all can hit me up on there too, and I did it all on pacific ocean wifi, so you KNOW it’s true love.”

There wasn’t not exactly silence at the question, but there certainly wasn’t any correct answers either. Vanjie heard Coppélia and even Dance Macabre, that fairly enough did show up if you googled ballets with death.

“Still no correct guesses?” Vanjie smiled. “I thought you freaks were all up in his life story, creeping and shit.”

“Is it La Bayadére?”

“Wrong! Also that ain’t dutch my dude, that’s a french name if I ever heard one, but dotcha’ all worry, I’mma be a good judy and let you name the english version!”

Someone shouted Swan Lake from the bar and Vanjie was getting ready to enjoy her victory rain of dollars, when she noticed who else was sitting at the bar, Brooke not even looking at her, his back turned to the stage as he talked to the bartender. The same bartender that he spoke to the day before, fucking Justin smiling at Brooke like he was the most amazing thing that had ever ordered a drink.

“Anyone here knows the english version?!” Vanjie yelled, raising her voice but Brooke didn’t even flinch, didn’t even move . He just stood there, the back of his head looking like he was having the time of his life.

“It’s fucking Vier Litl…” Vanjie looked at her card. “Vier Letzte Lieder! Everybody! Fill your glass and take a shot.

Everyone was raising their glasses, but all Vanjie could see was Brooke not paying attention to her.

“Yo! Brooke Lynn Hytes!” Vanjie was nearly screaming, but Brooke finally finally turned around, his eyes wide, her microphone nearly redundant at this point. “You know I’m the greatest good you ever gonna get, so you best pay attention boy!”

Brooke lifted his beer, a smile on his face like Vanjie wasn’t funny, like it was all a joke, and Vanjie was burning, anger swirling with the tequila in her stomach. Brooke’s face was not at all like she had imagined when she had written the question, the affection and admiration she had so hoped for now amusement like she was some animal in the zoo Brooke found fun to have around.

Usually when Brooke attended her shows, he was all but rolling on the floor in genuine laughter, and here he was, smiling like she was merely amusing. Despite the churning in her gut and her fingers tightening around the poor, abused microphone, Vanjie kept a brave face on, quickly moving along because if there was one thing she was, it was professional above all else.

“Alright bitch, I’m ready to leave!” Getting off stage was always the greatest relief, the last of the guests herded out the door by the staff that was now walking around, mopping up the floor and putting chairs back in place. Vanjie had taken a lot longer to get off stage than she normally would, her world spinning, taking her lashes off taking three entire tries, and she had every intention of forcing Brooke to shower with her the moment they got back to their room, her chest already rumbling a little at the pure delight of the idea of Brooke soaping up her body and easing away the pains of corset and heels and way way too many shots.

“Brock! Where you at?” Vanjie stepped out of her shoes, picking them up and putting them in the gym bag she had stolen from Brooke earlier in the day.

“One second!” Vanjie looked for the voice, her stomach dropping completely when she realised Brooke was still sitting at the bar, her boyfriend’s jacket laid over a chair, the beer bottles multiplied from the day before. “I can’t find any paper.”

“Paper? Why the fuck you looking for paper?” Vanjie walked over, her feet hurting with each step she took.

“I just need a moment baby.”

“I have an idea.” Justin smiled, completely ignoring Vanjie as he wrapped his fingers around Brooke’s arm, quickly pushing Brooke’s jacket up, like it was something he was allowed to do, Justin putting the pen in his hand to Brooke’s skin and very clearly writing down a phone number. “There, now you can call me. I’d love to see-”

“Oh, FUCK, no!”

It all happened so fast. Vanjie grabbing Brooke’s half empty drink and throwing it in Justin’s face, the liquid splashing everywhere, some of it hitting Brooke as well.

“You think you can look at my man like that?! I’m not some dumb ass ho that can’t see shit!”

Vanjie voice was so loud Brooke swore the entire ship was looking at them, every staff member still presents stopping dead in their tracks.

“You wanna play games?!” Vanjie threw the glass down, the entire thing shattering against the bar top. “Well let’s fucking play!”

“What the-” Justin wiped his face, the man looking completely shocked, his shirt soaked.

Brooke had seen Vanjie fight before, his boyfriend a ball of emotions, a firecracker that was always ready to go off, but it had never exploded because of him before, and Brooke had a sinking feeling this was all somehow his fault.

“Oh bitch, don’t you try! You’ve been flirting since the moment you saw him! You think we some package deal where you can fuck one of us and we cool? Well guess again! We’re exclusive, bitch! We co-dependent, a restricted area, an invitation only kinda party and my dick is first, last and fucking second on that guest list cause guess what? I can go twice!”

“You’re insane.”

“I’m insane?!” Vanjie grabbed Brooke’s arm, throwing it down on the bar. “Then what the fuck is this?! A number? You don’t do shit like that to another man’s man!! And you!” Vanjie turned to Brooke. “I never should have trusted you.” Vanjie released Brooke, turning on her heels, rushing out of the room before Brooke even had the chance to collect his composure.

“Jose!” Brooke stood up, ready to run after Vanjie. “I- oh fuck!”

Justin looked down, a thick piece of glass peeking out the top of Brooke’s palm, from where he had planted it flat on the counter.

“Shit!” Brooke grabbed his hand, blood already pouring everywhere.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #angst #cruising for a bruising #q tip #thedane #tw blood #s11 #canon compliant

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junionigiri · 5 years

Text

Ruby Red and Caramel Ch 3: Dark Chocolate Truffles

Chapter Summary: Late nights and late nights.

Relationship(s): Bakugou Katsuki/Yaoyorozu Momo; background Hagakure Tooru/Sato Rikido; background Kendo Itsuka/Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

Rating: T

Warnings/Notes: after internally debating with myself where to cut the chapter because there’re so many words i cut it right in the middle of a scene ahhh wth. I hope this isn’t... too awkward T_T

as always, also available on AO3 (JuniRiceBall) and FFNet (Juni Onigiri)!

Momo makes it to Ward Five as planned, with a sharp gleam in her eye, a skip in her step, and a determined swing of her ponytail. Kendo Itsuka is already there with all the charts in front of her, ready to do rounds with her. She’s in the middle of an animated discussion over the phone though, so she patiently waits for her to finish.

“Mmhm. Mmhm.” She glosses over the charts in front of her as she intently listens to the other end of the conversation. “No… Tetsu, that’s... Don’t panic, okay? It’s just potassium, you just have to--” She catches Momo’s eye, gives her a lopsided grin. “No, Tetsu, the patient isn’t going to die from that, okay? Listen, so Yaoyorozu’s here, I have to discuss a ton of cases with her, so maybe ask Shiozaki for help if you’re not sure? No, she isn’t going to send you to hell. Not today. Hopefully.”

Momo stifles a giggle when she hears Tetsutetsu’s distressed voice clearly through Kendo’s phone: “Kendo you know she’ll kill me for this!!! Please I’m stupid and you’re smart and you’re the nicest one I know help me help me help--”

Kendo giggles. “Fine. I’ll help you, and you’ll buy me dinner, okay?” She bites her lower lip and has to pull the phone a couple of inches off her ear from Tetsutetsu’s overexcited yelling. “Okay. I’ll text you. Bye.”

The redhead finally hangs up the call and gives Momo an apologetic grin. “Yeah, sorry about that Yaoyorozu… you know how Tetsu gets sometimes.”

Momo nods in understanding. “You do know him best, Kendo-san.” The shine of her teal eyes, how her finger twirled ‘round her vermilion hair, and how she can’t stop smiling doesn’t escape her.

The other girl snorts and slaps her on the arm playfully. “Hey, what’s with that look? Are you… teasing me?”

“Oh, not at all!”

“Yes you are! This is so out of character for you, Ms. Prim-and-Proper. Since when have you acted like a charm school delinquent, huh?”

“I only calmly regarded how… radiant you seemed speaking with Tetsutetsu-san, that’s all!”

“Whatever, Yaoyorozu,” the redhead counters playfully. “Is this a takes-one-to-know-one kind of thing? You’re the one who’s ridiculously perky these past couple of weeks, you know.”

“... I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Momo begins, putting her nose up in the air haughtily. Isn’t it unfair how Kendo easily changes the subject of scrutiny from herself to Momo? They were talking about her obvious affection for Tetsutetsu, and now… “And we aren’t talking about me, we’re talking about--”

Kendo’s gaze is a little too investigatory, and she finds herself avoiding her gaze altogether. “We can tell, you know. Smiling all the time? Literally bouncing when you’re talking to anyone and everyone? Humming Mariah Carey’s Emotions, on loop?”

Momo sputters, “It’s a good song!”

“Yeah. Honenuki tells me that he and Todoroki have that song stuck in their heads for an entire week now ‘cause of you.”

Oh. So that explains the pained look on Honenuki-san’s face whenever Momo comes in. Has she really been humming that song all the time? But it’s a good song, a classic. Anyone can fight her on that.

“Whatever it is… you got it bad, girl.” Kendo ignores how Momo’s ponytail starts twitching tensely as the accusation comes forth. “Even Best Jeanist asked me if I knew why you’re acting strangely.”

Momo freezes and starts to fret. She thinks she did a good job of separating her silly, dreamy adolescent feelings from her work facade, but apparently she hasn’t, if their infamous training officer has noticed a change in her. “Dr. Hakamata noticed something? Oh, did he comment on how I lack confidence again? Or maybe he wants to give me more duties, because I’m not doing very well?”

The redhead gives her an odd look. “No, of course not Yaoyorozu! Actually, it’s the opposite. He likes how you’re suddenly so… bright and positive and decisive.”

Momo can’t keep her surprise hidden. She feels her ponytail twitch upward happily. Kendo notices and stifles a giggle.

“He actually asked me if anything good happened to you. Like, if you won the lottery or something. But I’m sure it isn’t the lottery, since I’m sure you have like a pile of inherited gold doubloons hidden somewhere in your room--”

She most certainly does not have gold doubloons in her room. She isn’t a pirate or a dragon with a hoarding complex. But Momo has invested in gold before. She chooses not to clarify that point for her.

“--whatever it is, he says you should keep it up. Aren’t you glad, Yaoyorozu? Best Jeanist practically gave you his blessing to keep seeing this mystery person of yours~”

Momo can’t keep her face from flushing when she sputters, “That’s not--Dr. Hakamata doesn’t know about--”

“About what? Or… whomst?” The neurologist gives her a little eyebrow-wiggle of her own. “You’re thinking of a specific face in your head now, aren’t you?”

“No-one! Really, Kendo-san!” She’s relieved that Kendo doesn’t have a mind-reading quirk, because the face of a certain blonde cafe owner that flashed out of nowhere in her traitorous mind would be misinterpreted as cold, hard evidence of her outrageous claims. “I think we should start discussing these cases, please? We have a long day ahead of us!”

“Mhm.” Kendo shrugs and says nothing more about the subject. The mischievous grin on the other doctor’s face doesn’t go away, though, and Momo knows that she isn’t off the hook. “So about Mr. S in room 504-A…”

Kendo starts to discuss the new referrals eloquently and seriously. With a laser-precision focus, Momo pushes all the silly love-struck soundtracks and explosives to the back of her mind.

Momo is correct. It ends up being a long day. And even though she doesn’t have night duty that day, the evening rush is over by the time she finishes everything and steps out of the hospital. As is her habit for the past couple of weeks, she looks both ways and crosses the street and quietly peeps through the windows of the NTG Cafe.

The lights are dimmed. The little wooden signage that hangs at the glass door reads Closed. Momo sees Kaminari at the far end of the cafe, rearranging the last of the tables and chairs and then disappearing at the back.

She sighs. Of course she didn’t make it. It’s eleven in the evening on a busy weeknight, and people should be going home to rest by this hour. They all have a full day ahead of them tomorrow.

Well--it’s not so bad. As a direct result of her being so ‘bright and positive and decisive,’ as Kendo-san eloquently put it, for the past few days she was able to finish work earlier and to make it minutes before the cafe closed. And because of that, she has been able to see Bakugou-san more frequently. So she’s only a little down when she decides that it’s all right that she isn’t seeing him tonight, for once, and decides to go home to her apartment.

As she turns around to leave though, the door chime sounds behind her. “Hey. Ponytail,” a familiar rumble calls out to her, sending a shiver down her spine.

She turns around, trademark ponytail swishing behind her. “I have a name, Bakugou-san.”

Despite her stern response, she can’t stop the smile breaking into her face.

Bakugou has that unbearable smirk on his pretty mouth when he looks at her up and down, as he usually does when they meet. He doesn’t have his apron on anymore, and Momo is treated to the sight of him, lean and mean in a tight-enough black collared shirt and jeans. His arms are crossed, showing off those strong arms of his, the sleeves of his shirt struggling to contain them, and she’s so sure that if she leapt into him right now he’d be able to…

Momo internally reprimands herself for still not being used to this sight after 2 weeks of exposure

“Whatever. You comin’ in?” His gruff voice interrupts her unladylike ogling. She snaps up to attention to look at him curiously.

“But it’s past closing time already…”

The blonde shrugs. “Never stopped you and your bottomless-pit-of-a-stomach before, Brainy.”

By this time she’s almost completely immune to his natural predilection for profanities, even those targeted towards her. She hopes she isn’t bouncing her way inside when she obliges.

Bakugou leads the way to their usual spot near the counter, orders her to sit down, and disappears out back. Kaminari, already clad in his casual clothes, ambles his way up to her with his backpack, evidently ready to go home. He greets her with a wiggle of two short blonde brows. “Hey, doc~ You’re here a little later than usual. How’s the hospital?”

“Oh, busy. But nothing that I can’t handle. Thank you for asking, Kaminari-san!”

“Aren’t you bright and bouncy, Yaomomo! Man, you have no idea how starved I am for a pretty face--it’s just me and Baku-boss the entire day, and I’m just about to lose hope in the human race…”

She giggles. It’s always hard to keep one’s composure around the jocular Kaminari-san, but she tries her best. “Oh, I can only imagine. And the cafe has been busy lately, right? But you seem to be doing a good job.”

“Thanks! You’re the only one who thinks that!” He makes a face, hears Bakugou coming out from the back again, and exaggerates the said face. “Did you hear what Dr. Yaomomo said, Baku-boss? She said I was doing a good job! You should give me a raise--”

“Didn’t hear a fuckin’ thing,” he grumbles as he places the tray on their table. “But, I should give you a fuckin’ deduction for what you did to the fuckin’ toilet, Pika-shit. Thanks for remindin’ me.”

“Whey. This is abuse,” he sighs dramatically amidst Momo’s giggles. And then, a look of concern on his face. “But hey, you’re going home soon, right, Baku-boss? I mean… you know we can’t keep Dr. Yaomomo for too long here…”

The odd, careful tone in his voice doesn’t go past Momo unnoticed. Bakugou doesn’t look up to meet his gaze. “Yeah it’s fine.”

“You sure?” Strangely insistent and gentle to the point of being parental, Kaminari leers comically close to his boss’s face and narrows his empty eyes. “We got a full day tomorrow, boss, and it’s way past your bedtime--”

“Fuckin’--what are you, my mom?! I said it’s fine!” He shoves the shorter blonde’s face away with one strong hand, making the latter yelp and discharge a few shocks from his head. “Now get the fuck outta here. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Okay~ You two take care, I guess.” The concern in his face is completely gone, making Momo wonder if she was just imagining things. Kaminari salutes her with his usual silly grin and double thumbs-up. “Y’all have fun now! Good night!”

“Good night, Kaminari-san,” says Momo, with a gentle wave of the hand. When he disappears, she shifts her attention to Bakugou, who has already grumpily fallen into his seat across from her. “Is… this really okay, Bakugou-san? He seems worried for you…”

“Tch,” he begins, as grumpy as is the norm. “Don’t mind that dopey fucker, a’ight? I told you it’s fine.”

She stares at him quietly. There are circles dimming the undersides of his eyes, and a very subtle droop in his shoulders as he sets the plates in front of her. But his eyes are fully awake and alert, and when he reaches over to grab her hand and push the cutleries in her palm, as always, his hands are as strong and fiery hot as they’ve ever been.

“W… well… if you say so,” she relents. Maybe she’s looking too much into it. It is late, after all. Anyone would look tired by this time. She turns her attention to the food in front of her instead, and feels herself brightening up considerably. “Oh, Bakugou-san, it’s beautiful…”

Discs of vibrant, rainbow pasta are layered up with filling. From the light, stimulating fragrance emanating from it, Momo can only guess there’s fish, shellfish mousse, and vegetables blended and cooked perfectly within. The piece is plated artfully and tastefully on a wide plate. She feels all her senses activate her hunger centers, but also feels terrible at the prospect of cutting the dish open and ruining the aesthetic.

But the feeling doesn’t last long when she takes the first bite of the meal. “Oh my… Bakugou-san…!!!”

The cafe owner snorts at her first reaction, which is to moan a little too suggestively and stomp her feet in an undignified manner. “You like that, Ponytail?” he says teasingly.

She can’t believe how good it tastes. Before she can stop herself and regulate her excitement, the praises escapes her mouth. “All the layers are exquisite! The cacciucco, the shellfish mousse, and the broccoli work so well together! And unexpectedly, the pasta balances the flavours neatly! Everything is just elegantly done!”

There’s no way that he didn’t spend hours making the dish. Either that, or he’s an actual demon in the kitchen. It won’t take a lot to convince Momo of that anymore. “You know it,” Bakugou says easily, with a self-satisfied smirk. “When have I ever given you anything that ain’t cooked to fuckin’ perfection, Ponytail?”

Never is the only answer to that question. But Momo doesn’t tell him that, because she’s perpetually worried about how big his ego is getting and how unhelpful she is in that regard.

Which reminds her… She puts down her fork, making Bakugou raise an eyebrow that she even dared to stop in the middle--really, does this man think of her as nothing but as eating machine?--and delicately pats her mouth with a napkin. “It’s delicious, as always, Bakugou-san,” she begins, when he looks like he’s about to sit up and loudly demand an explanation from her. “But I’d like to pace myself, for one. Also, I want to show you how I appreciate the meals and company you’ve given me so far…”

The mild confusion in Bakugou doesn’t go away, and grows and grows when Momo shifts in her seat to rifle through her handbag and to push a slim box into the blonde’s hands.

“The fuck is this, Ponytail?”

His odd reaction catches her off-guard. “It’s a gift, Bakugou-san.”

“It ain’t my fuckin’ birthday or anything like that, Brainy.”

“I know it isn’t,” Momo tells him humorously. Although, come to think of it, she doesn’t know when his birthday is. She takes a mental note to somehow wheedle out that information from him later. “It’s simply something to show my appreciation for you. You’ve made me these marvelous things, and I don’t think I’ve done enough to do anything for you in return…”

His face remains skeptical as he opens the package. “Memento Truffles, huh?” he says flatly. The look in his eyes is unreadable. Momo doesn’t want to think that he’s unimpressed or insulted, but the way his eyebrow raises, she isn’t sure what to think.

“Do… you not like them?” she asks carefully. She hopes her ponytail isn’t deflating too much. She’s glad that she didn’t tell him about how she has had to beg her mother to contact one of her dearest friends in Belgium to purchase and have them delivered via priority mail within the past week.

Unaware of her inner turmoil, Bakugou pops one casually in his mouth. “Hm. They’re not bad, I guess,” he says thoughtfully mid-chew.

“Not bad…??” Momo begins, affronted beyond reason. “Jacques Memoir, one of the top ten chocolatiers in the world, handcrafted these! When you bite into them, you ought to feel as if you’re simultaneously remembering all the nice chocolates you've ever eaten! Dark chocolate that is neither too sweet nor too bitter, the insides of which are soft and whipped, but do not immediately melt… toppings of Hungarian paprika, violets, wild flennel that give an unexpected punch of flavor… the pleasing, classic aesthetic that ties them altogether… is merely not bad for you, Bakugou-san?”

He listens to her affronted monologue with a self-satisfied smirk. “Yeah. I could do it better.”

The girl sputters indignantly. Bakugou almost chokes laughing at her mid-swallow. “Y-you think you can do better than one of the top ten chocolatiers in the world?!”

“Nah. I know so.” The self-satisfied smirk on his face tells Momo that he isn’t even joking and it just blows her mind how highly he thinks of himself. “What, you think I’m talkin’ shit?”

She scoffs. “You’re simply unbelievable, Bakugou-san.”

“Don’t I know it.” She only rolls her eyes at that, and he laughs again. Ugh, she should really hate it, but she can’t stop her stupid mouth from smiling when she hears it. “Anyways, this is too much for me, Ponytail. Come on. Eat.”

“Hm? Oh, but these are for you, and you only... I have to repay you somehow, for--”

He actually growls and widens his eyes like a wild animal at that remark. “I ain’t fuckin’ cookin’ you all these great meals so you could pay me for it. What do you think of me, haa? If I wanted to, I’d be chargin’ you a fortune from day one.”

Momo pauses and feels her heart squeeze. Did she just… insult him somehow? Was her gift too much, too soon? “That’s… not my intention at all,” she says quietly. “I’m sorry if the gift is too much, Bakugou-san. I’ll take note next time.”

He snorts and puts the truffles down between them. A silence envelops them, with Momo half-heartedly poking through the rest of the dish, and Bakugou staring right at her with searching ruby eyes.

“If you want to give me a gift that bad, Ponytail--”

She snaps her head a little too quickly to look at him.

A mischievous glint is in his eyes. They look challenging, somehow. “Make me something.”

She blinks. “Um… I can’t cook, Bakugou-san…”

He sneers at her. “You know, somehow I guessed that.” Momo pouts at him, but cannot contest the point any further. “But that’s not what I fucking meant.”

She tilts her head curiously at him. “So… make something? Oh, like a collage or a papier-mache? Oh, I’d love to, I have so many ideas--”

“No! You fuckin’ nerd!” Momo hates how easy it is to make him laugh at her expense. “I meant, make me something with your fuckin’ quirk! Geez, and I thought you were supposed to be a genius…”

“Oh,” she says with a little humph. Really, he should have started with that. She wouldn’t call herself a genius, but she isn’t usually this… daft. “Well, I suppose I can make you something… what would you like?”

“Fuckin’ anything. Sky’s the limit. Come on.”

“That’s the point, Bakugou-san. If you won’t be specific, it’ll be hard for me to think up of something you would like…”

“Fine,” he says gruffly. “Make me… something that’ll remind me of you when I look at it.”

How… how could you say that so nonchalantly, Bakugou-san? With that rumble in your voice, that roguish glint in your eyes, that devil-may-care smile? Momo feels herself blushing from her neck to her scalp, and dares not open her mouth lest another undignified sound escapes from it.

Also, there’s nothing specific about his request! What is she supposed to make? She straightens her mind, forms an image in her head, breaks down the components of the object and wills it to form over her chest.

The object materializes in between her breasts; for modesty’s sake she turns around, and to her relief she senses the explosive barista turning away of his own accord. When it’s fully formed, she takes it and places it gingerly on the desk.

Bakugou shifts his gaze to the object. A smile is on his face as he slurs out, “Now that’s more like it, Ponytail.”

Matryoshka dolls are one of the first things she’s learned to make as a child, and one of her favourite things to create. She remembers telling Bakugou about it, when they talked about quirks during one of their dinners in the past week. “This isn’t like one of the dolls I’m used to making though,” she explains as she watches him open the dolls with interest, one by one. “Instead of the usual babushka designs that I tend to make, the dolls are dressed in explosive-themed dresses. Because you’re the human incarnate of a bomb.”

“I can see that,” he says, amused. The grenades look real in his hands, oddly, like they would explode into blossoms of light in his explosive grasp. “Looks like you were thinkin’ of me when you made it, huh Ponytail?”

She tries her best to say, “Yes,” without blushing further.

“Well… they’re the best grenade dolls made of fat I’ve ever seen, Dr. Ponytail. Good job.”

She stares him down in annoyance and playfully moves to snatch the dolls away from his grasp. With another obnoxious laugh, he keeps it away from her reach, stands up, and walks to the counter.

“There. Now everyone who walks in the cafe can stare at your fat and see how nice it fuckin’ looks,” he tells her with a victory smirk. “This belongs here now. No takebacks.”

Speechless, Momo can only nod weakly at him.

The night ends as it usually does, with Momo crossing the street to her home and Bakugou watching her until she reaches the lobby. She looks back at him and gives him a small wave of the hand.

Tonight is a little different, though, because for once, he waves back--no hesitations, no pretenses. He walks back to the cafe, lights shutting behind him, and Momo is absolutely stunned.

She can’t stop the smile forming on her lips, or stop the impulse to hug herself and roll around her bed like a teenaged girl when she makes it up to her condo unit.

Perhaps it was the next day during a short lull in her busy workday when Momo receives a phone call from an old friend.

“Hey, Dr. Momo! So you’re alive after all!”

Momo smiles down at the phone. “Satou-san! Oh, it has been a while, hasn’t it?”

“It is. You haven’t been visiting us for sometime now. I feel like you’ve been having an affair with a different cafe!” Chef Satou Rikido uses his best hurt voice, but it’s still playful and makes Momo giggle.

“Stop, please,” Momo says lightly. She keeps her mouth decidedly shut about his accusation of having an affair with a different cafe. “But you are right, Satou-san. I haven’t been visiting for some time now… I really should, shouldn’t I?”

Satou hums from the other end. “Well, I sure hope you do, doc. I actually called to ask if you were going to make it on Friday.”

Momo blinks once, and then rapidly when realization dawns on her. “Oh my… Friday is that night already?”

The chef makes an affirmative noise. “Yep! Satou’s Coffees and Cakes Farewell Party! All of our patrons and favorite customers are welcome! And you really are one of our favourites--you know, Hagakure’s sad that you haven’t been going, and she’s going to throw a tantrum if you don’t show up on Friday…”

“Oh! Of course I’ll be there, Satou-san!” She stares at the calendar on the office wall--good, she doesn’t have to stay the night then. “You can count on me! Please, tell Tooru-san and Koda-san to save some of the chiffon cake for me!”

“That’s great! I’m glad, Dr. Momo. We gotta see you before we leave for Paris, eh?”

“... We?” asks Momo curiously. As far as she knows, Satou is going to Paris by himself for further training as a patissier.

“That’s about it! I’ll see you Friday, then!”

Not knowing the meaning of the cryptic message, Momo shrugs and makes it through the work day, until the rest of the week passes by in its usual blur and it’s already Friday. She finished a little later than she’d like, but she needs to show up to Satou’s.

With a bottle of rose champagne, she enters the familiar, homey interiors of Satou’s Coffees and Cakes.

The bell hanging over the door announces her arrival. She sees the party already beginning at one of the reserved areas of the restaurant. About twenty people are already there, passing bottles and hors d’oeuvres around.

She makes her way inside--at the center of the room, a commotion is already going on, and seeing the character involved, she quickly understands why.

“Satou Rikido!!! The star patissier of the Musutafu Culinary Academy’s deplorable class A!” Monoma Neito, of Monoma’s Boulangerie et Patisserie, is dramatically wailing as he always does. He’s got a half-filled glass of wine in one hand, and a half-empty bottle of fine Cabernet Sauvignon in the other. His face is already flushed pink, likely from the alcohol. “Again! I prove my superiority to you!!! All that you’re going to learn in Paris, I already know like the back of my hand!”

A cacophony of drunken hoots and boos and sneers emanate from the crowd. Satou, however, only looks mildly amused at his declaration. “I know, Monoma. No-one’s as good as you when it comes to French cuisine.”

More boos. Momo recognizes Sero Hanta’s voice from the crowd, “No way! Team Satou all the way, baby!!! Monoma, your orange chiffon cake sucks!”

“Silence, you plebe!” Monoma makes a grandiose gesture--some of his wine spills in the process--and again points one finger at Satou. “Listen here, Satou! Our rivalry is only put on hold! Once you train abroad and come back, you’ll have no further excuses! I’ll be able to prove once and for all that Monoma’s makes better pastries! So you better come back, and--”

His tirade is cut short when Satou laughs and takes him in a surprise bear hug that takes all the air out of him. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll miss you too, buddy! It’ll be lonely baking without you yelling across the street!”

The crowd goes aaaaw!!!, and the suddenly speechless and blushing Monoma can only freeze and bristle like a confused cat before awkwardly returning the hug.

Momo covers her mouth at how cute the scene is. While it was stressful to watch the first time she saw it, she’s going to miss the noisy rivalry between Monoma and Satou. Her visits at Monoma’s will surely be quieter for the next few years…

A glass of sparkling wine is under her nose in the next moment. Blinking, she turns to see a floating pink-and-purple dress next to her, accompanied by a cute voice. “Dr. Yaomomo!!! You finally made it!”

“Hagakure-san!” They hug each other warmly. Momo takes the glass from her. “I apologize for being late! It got really busy at work.”

“We guessed as much! But I’m happy that one of the world’s best neurosurgeons made it to our little party!”

“No, not at all,” Momo begins weakly, but trails off when Satou spots them and comes up to them. “Oh, Satou-san, congratulations!”

“Thanks! Wow, you really made it, Dr. Momo!” He gives her a bear hug, which also knocks the wind out of her, and takes the bottle of champagne from her. “This sure is fancy, doc. This for us?”

“Of course! Apart from saying goodbye, we have plenty to celebrate… after all, you’re going to work with one of the top chefs of Paris! It’s a big deal!”

Satou laughs heartily. “I can think of other important things that deserves a fancy drink such as this.”

Momo blinks curiously at him and looks at Hagakure, who also appears confused, judging by how her sleeves are shrugging. But before she can ask what he means, Satou is already calling everyone’s attention by tapping his wine glass with one strong finger. “Everyone! May I have your attention please!”

The people in the room simultaneously turn quiet and turn to stare at them. As they give their attention to Satou, Momo takes the opportunity to scan the faces in the crowd. Sero Hanta, one of the nurses from Hosu Gen’s pediatrics ward, is standing next to Aoyama Yuuga from ICU. Some of Monoma’s staff, namely assistant pastry chefs Kinoko Komori and Tsuburaba Kosei, are both trying to steady their obviously inebriated boss. Their occasional part-timer, Rin Hiryuu is also there, quietly standing next to a frowning man with a camera. She’s able to recognize Tsunotori Pony, the prominent businesswoman from Texas who invested in both Satou’s and Monoma’s, looking on with mild interest.

Both Kirishimas are also there. She sees Mina pausing mid-chortle to listen to the announcement. And under Kirishima Eijirou’s arm is an obviously disgruntled and partially uncomfortable…

“... Bakugou-san?” she whispers out loud.

The explosive man is at the other end of the room, surely out of earshot, but looks up at her bewildered whisper. When red eyes meet black ones, his mood visibly shifts. That trademark devilish grin of his makes it to his mouth and catches her off guard.

Momo tries not to look to happy at this unexpected meeting, and busies herself by drinking her wine a little too quickly.

When the room has completely quieted down, Satou begins to speak. “First of all, thank you for coming to my humble little gathering… tonight, as you know, is the last time that I’ll have all of you here to eat my food as customers and friends!”

Momo hears the audience make a variety of sad sounds, especially Hagakure beside her, who starts sniffling. But she can’t concentrate, not when Bakugou is staring at her like that…

“... well, at least the last time until I get back in three or so years,” Satou adds with a laugh. “I’d like to thank you all for coming to celebrate with me. It truly has been a pleasure serving you all for the past five years--”

… and her, staring back at Bakugou like that. Perhaps. It’s his fault. Momo hasn’t ever seen him wear anything other than his work clothes. And to suddenly appear before her without warning, wearing a black button-down shirt, with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up, showing off his nice arm--and those dark jeans, different from the looser, mildly distressed ones he wears to work--

“--and I’ll never forget all of your support and… sheesh, I’m not really good at these speeches.” Satou cuts his speech short, to a comical effect, and raises his glass amidst chortles from the audience. “Cheers!”

“Cheers!” Momo almost misses the cue, and attempts to take a sip from her glass, only to find herself drinking empty air.

Bakugou notices. He looks like he’s about to burst from laughter. She gives him a stern look, but again tries her best not to smile too much.

Ah, but it’s a little hard. She might have drunk her wine a little too quickly after all. And on an empty stomach too. She’s light-headed and bubbly and teetering on the edge of embarrassing. She focuses away from his piercing gaze and back to the man of the hour.

“But that’s not all I want to celebrate.” Satou begins again. “I also want to celebrate my co-workers for being with me for the past five years--Hagakure-san! Koda-kun! Come up here, won’t ya?”

Hagakure stammers next to Momo. She’s able to catch the server’s meek ‘what’s going on?’ before the smaller woman bounces her way next to Satou. Koda, the quieter server, doesn’t look as confused when he walks up to the chef, but looks quite nervous all the same.

“So as many of you know, Koda-kun won’t be in the restaurant business for very long,” Satou says, patting the large man on the back. “He’s finally about to finish his Veterinary Medicine degree, like he’s always wanted to! Everyone, say Congratulations, Dr. Koda!”

“Congratulations, Dr. Koda!” everyone chants, to which the anxious animal doctor signs his thanks frantically.

“Now… as for Hagakure Tooru-san.” Satou turns to her with a playful smile. “You haven’t told any of us your plans after Satou’s closes down tomorrow, right?”

Hagakure falters. If Momo could see her face, she’s sure that she has a sad smile on her face then. “Th… that’s because I don’t have any plans at all, Satou-san--I mean, this is my first and only job, and I really like it very much, and--”

There’s a break in her voice, and Momo is sure that she’s trying her hardest not to cry. The audience makes a simultaneous sad aaaaw. Satou pats her on the back with a large hand and looks at her warmly. “Then… if it’s okay with you, Hagakure… I have a proposal for you.”

It happens very quickly--one moment she’s looking up at him, confused and speechless, and in the next moment she’s looking slightly downward when he falls on one knee in front of her, and everyone else.

“Uwa~~???!” She cries comically, as suddenly Koda brings a violin out of nowhere, playing a touching rendition of Love Me Like You Do. Someone flips a switch somewhere, and rose petals suddenly float from the ceiling, all around the invisible girl who’s mesmerized beyond words.

“Hagakure Tooru,” Satou attempts, as he holds up a little velvet box in his large hands, presenting it in front of the girl and her incomprehensible sobbing, “We’ve known each other for the past five years… you changed my life for the better… so if you would do me the honor of going to Paris with me, as man and--”

She screeches excitedly and practically throws herself at Satou. “Yes! I will, Satou-san! I will! Yes!!!”

“Let him ask the frickin’ question, Hagakure!” Someone yells from the audience, amidst all the clapping and cheering.

“Shut up! I’m getting married!!! And going to PARIS!!!” Hagakure retorts loudly, much to everyone’s laughter. She’s literally beaming, she’s so happy she’s covering the entire room in flashes of light, and the party has to continue cheering and drinking their wines with their eyes closed.

Momo feels tears stinging her eyes--she isn’t sure if it’s her overwhelming happiness for the happy couple, or if it’s all the light getting into her eyes. It doesn’t last very long, but the flashes are enough to make her dizzy. As her eyes are closed, she feels a familiar warm hand enclose around hers, and in the next moment she’s being dragged to somewhere else.

She opens her eyes when cold air hits the bare skin of her shoulders. The first thing she sees is the night sky and the bright full moon calmly glowing within the darkness. The stars that are visible against the city lights are few and far in between, but still they glow brightly and beautifully, unaware of the mess of life below them.

“Fuckin’ finally.” The rumble creeps up to her ear and crawls right into her thumping chest. “I got you where I want you.”

She smiles as quietly as her heart will allow her. “Good evening to you too, Bakugou-san.”

His blonde hair glows ethereally under the scant light of the sky. He’s close to her, close enough that she sees the shadow of his lashes on his cheeks. “Yeah. Good evening or whatever, Dr. Ponytail.”

“I didn’t know you were invited as well.” She takes two careful steps backward, increasing the distance between them. She doesn’t know why she wants to, why it suddenly feels so dangerous to have Bakugou close to her. “And I didn’t know that you were close to Kirishima-san, as well--”

“Yeah. Diabetes invited a lot of other cafe owners. You've seen that other blonde psycho," he says, pointing his thumb at the cacophony inside. "And Shitty-Hair’s a guy from my high school. Still fuckin’ clingy after all these years…”

No remorse at all for the terrible nicknames he’s given everyone. Momo gives him another stern look, and he leers right back at her. “Really, Bakugou-san. Is it so difficult for you to call people by their given names? You know, come to think of it… I’ve never heard you call me by my actual name since we met!”

“So?”

“So… do you just have terrible manners, or a terrible memory for names?”

“Definitely the first one,” Bakugou replies brashly. “My memory’s awesome, thank you very much.”

Momo humphs. “I highly doubt that. I’m willing to bet that you call people by those terrible nicknames based on appearances because remembering things is something you’re bad at. And you don’t want to admit it, because you hate being bad at something. I’m willing to wager that you can’t even remember what you had for breakfast.”

“French toast and OJ,” he answers easily. And then, with that dangerous grin on his face, continues. “Try again… Yaoyorozu Momo.”

Oh… no.

She feels herself freeze under his searing hot gaze. Her mouth moves, but all she’s able to manage is a meek bite of the lower lip.

“What? Why you lookin’ at me like that… Momo?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Ridiculous. Simply ridiculous. Just the mention of her own name in his voice, and already it does things to her insides that are hard to describe. She fights to keep her gaze steady, her mouth in a straight, unaffected line. She knows it isn’t working, because he’s smiling and sauntering closer and closer, and she isn’t moving away.

Please, Momo, get a hold of yourself--

“You heard me.” She’s flustered, and he knows she is, and he isn’t stopping. “You’re starin’ at me like…”

That smile, that awful, awful, smile. Momo struggles for a witty remark. “Like what, Bakugou-san?” is all she’s able to manage, in a voice that’s too breathy for her own.

“Katsuki.”

She blinks.

“If you’re gonna whine about using names, I’m gonna call you Momo from now on,” he tells her--tells her, not asks, as a man like him is wont to do. “But you gotta call me Katsuki in return. Aight?”

“All right,” she says. She straightens herself, looks at him right in the eye. “Katsuki-san.”

He clicks his tongue. “Fuck no, what am I, your fuckin’ supervisor? Try again.”

She giggles. “I apologize. Then… Katsuki.”

He smiles. “That’s more like it.”

He’s standing close to her still--one more step forward, and he’d have her cornered against one of the tables out in the garden. He’d be so close, if he pushed her just a little bit, she’d fall over it. And he’d have to catch her in those arms, he’d have to lift her up and over the table, wedge himself between her legs, and then he’d be close enough to crush his lips against hers, and--

And whatever it is, Momo would let him, would let him get his hands all over her hair, her bare skin, her face--

No, Momo, have mercy on yourself oh my god! She takes another step around the table, distancing herself away from the man and his heady scent. Too much, Momo, too much. Calm down.

Surely he isn’t like that… She’s sure he’s different, this Bakugou Katsuki. They’re merely friends, one of them a little more inebriated than the other, perhaps. Their odd relationship is the reverse of many poor experiences with men she's had in the past, where she's treated as nothing more as an object of their desire.

And now here she is, thirsting for him in her mind, rather shamelessly and one-sidedly at that. She reprimands herself for her debauched thoughts, again, and clears her throat for some clarity.

A quiet falls over them in the next moment. There’s a bottle of wine on the garden table next to them, with two glasses. A nice, benign set-up, between friends who like to talk and eat and drink together. She gestures for them to sit down, and he obliges.

“I suppose since there’s wine, it’s only logical for us to drink it,” she tells him as she moves to pour into two glasses. Before she is able to fill his, he stops her with one hand.

“I don’t drink. Don’t fuckin’ force me to,” he says sharply.

“Oh… I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” So it really is just her with alcohol to blame for any form of candour. She puts the wine aside and leaves him with an empty glass.

“But if you want to drink, I ain’t stoppin’ ya from getting shitfaced,” he continues. He cradles his head against one hand and stares at her with interest. “Don’t make me carry you home though. I ain’t a princess carriage or anything.”

She sticks her nose up in the air. “I know my limits.”

“If you say so… Momo.”

#bakumomo #yaoyorozu momo #bakugou katsuki #bnha fic #cafe/hospital AU #is thirsty momo too thirsty or #is this amount of thirst justifiable

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umbrahighpriestofgiratina · 5 years

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Detective Pikachu Review

Over a week late but it’s here!

So! This is a half spoiler, half non spoiler review? I'm gonna have a read more where I discuss spoilers, but for the initial round if you haven't seen it and are reading to decide if you shoud you should be fiiiine.

Anyway, I'mma be real with you all. I thought live action Pokemon couldn't work. They already had inconsistent results getting the Pokemon world to work in the more flexible world of animation (as much as I think the anime's actually not bad, I swear) and fan attempts at blending real humans with CGI Pokemon just looked... Gross. When I heard there was a bidding war for the Western movie rights to Pokemon and Legendary won I had several concerns.

Then trailers started dropping, and I was unironically fascinated. I thought this movie could be good. I WANTED this movie to be good.

And hey, it was!

It wasn't perfect, and I'll get to why, but it... it was fun, the same sort of cheesy fun I think the anime has but refined and honed for a western audience and it somehow worked? What helps is that Tim and Pikachu have this amazing dynamic, with Pikachu's quips bouncing off Tim in an entertaining manner, and that helps makes certain scenes comedy gold - like the Mr. Mime scene. The female lead is fun as well - a neglected intern that tries to mask her issues by being a perky reporter. Also Psyduck.

For only having 50-60 Pokemon on display there was an excellent variety of them. A good chunk of them aren't even G1, and the non-G1s get to have some cool or funny moments.

Video game movies routinely have a problem of not feeling like their source material, being off in just the right ways. This number feels like a goddamn Pokemon movie - it's spiritually similar to both the game it's based on and the animated Pokemon movies, and that's mostly a good thing! It bodes well for future live-action Pokemon movies and live-action video game movies in particular.

Overall if you're a Pokemon fan and are considering seeing this movie please do. It's got some spoiler bits that are bit head-scratchy or eye-roll worthy (plus it's got a couple instances of -groan- toilet humor) but it's a good time overall. Heck, maybe if Pokemon is only a fringe thing for you - I went with my family and they were cracking up the whole time.

(also for those in a certain RP with me the whole thing is very WAAPT and that is hilarious)

Okay now we talk spoilers. TURN AWAY NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET.

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Okay so what I say is the biggest flaw of the movie is the villain, Howard. He kinda feels like one of the more bog-standard villains of the animated movies and as much as the animated movies are cheesy fun for me and some of them even go further beyond that into being personally important and formative experiences... the villains tend to not be strong points. His actual PLAN is cool and one of the many more WAAPT-y things about the movie but how he gets there makes... no sense? Also the fact that he's supposed to be a plot twist but you can guess he's the villain so easy it'd make a mid-2010s Disney villain blush. (I liked Hans and King Candy for very specific and weird personal reasons but most peeps after that sheesh...) It's more insulting that it's so easy to guess since they actually bait and switch you from the original game, where his son was the original villain but just gets done dirty in this movie.

On the more positive end, Howard's literal partner in crime is his Ditto. And his Ditto is SO COOL. The beady eyes are a brilliant and lovely touch and it's genuinely a good opponent for our protagonists in the climax.

The twist that Detective Pikachu is Harry and his partner Pikachu merged into one entity is handled noticeably better, even if I could also guess it pretty early on. It's genuinely well foreshadowed! And also apparently based on stuff in the original game! Pikachu's issues are such an excellent mirror for Tim's and it adds to their dynamic and makes you go "wait a fucking minute here"

One of my favorite scenes was the fight club scene since we get to see actual Pokemon battles going down and then there's the bit when the Magikarp evolves into a Gyarados and the Charizard's R wears off and Charizard has these huge panicked puppy dog eyes and oh my God it was hilarious.

Speaking of the R! I like how it's heavily implied to be derived from the Berserk Gene like in the original game. Very nice mythology gag. Mewtwo was cool in general too, just wish it got more time to shine.

Also. THE TORTERRA GARDEN. I got such a kick out of that scene and I'm not entirely sure why.

But yeah the movie was good. Not perfect but really fun and very much a step in the right direction for video game movies. I assume you have already seen it if you are reading this section of the review, so tell anyone who hasn't to go see it for me.

#detective pikachu #review #pokemon

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lilith-the-ancient · 6 years

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Something that might help my fellow procrastinators/depressed peeps.

Those who know me know I'm a serial procrastinator and suffer from severe depression. Lately I've been trying to turn my life around, one step at a time. Recently I downloaded this app that is helping me a lot with actually getting the little things done: house cleaning, exercise, good habits etc. and I think could be useful for most of you. It's free and doesn't take a lot of memory on your phone.

You can fill in 3 different types of activities in it: good or bad habits, dailies (chores that have to happen on certain days or after a certain period of time like watering plants, cleaning the toilet etc.) and to dos (with or without deadlines, like for example cosplay projects).

Now my problem with lists is that while it's satisfying to tick things off, they are also easy to ignore. This app gives you a really cool (and cute!) incentive to actually to your chores: you get a tiny avatar that can grow into a warrior, mage, healer or rogue. You level up and earn gold by completing your tasks and you lose health by missing your dailies. You can also find eggs that you can hatch into cute creatures and team up with friends to go on quests. The app is called Habitica and if you want an invite to the app or into my party, just let me know. (I'm not in any way affiliated with the app or getting anything out of this. I just really enjoy how it has helped me that little bit in life.)

#depression hacks #procrastination hack

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autismus-obscurus · 7 years

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AutistAgent Dev undercover

Hey guys! I know my blog has been dead for a while. My internship in a psychiatric clinic started and I have to study for upcoming exams so I don’t really have time to blog much. But I’d like to write a little summary of the first two weeks to recuperate a bit and get my thoughts into order. To not spam your dash, the rest is under the cut.

SO, my internship is in a psychiatric clinic. To be more precise it’s part of a big institution that has everything from open and closed stations, to living spaces for elderly mentally ill people and heavily disabled peeps whodon’t have anyone else. I work at an outpost, the day clinic, meaning people come there from Monday to Friday from 8am to 4am. They’re not stable enough for a normal psychiatrist to work with, but also not so bad off they’d need to stay several weeks at the clinic. The “regular” time in the day clinic is six weeks, but it will be extended if necessary. The main buildings are on the other side of town, which is around 700m by foot, and we walk back and forth once, most of the time at least twice a day. I have never been so fit in my life. (Jk, but it’s been a while since I worked out regularly.) I think what most people don’t realize is how normal everyone looks. Even on the stations it doesn’t really look like a “mental hospital”. Sure, I haven’t seen the closed stations yet and my next intership might be a bit harder. But over here, those are all quite nice people who hit hard times. We have a lot of them with chronic pain, with depression and anxiety. At least half of them are sick because of their environment being shitty to them. Of the fifteen patients, five are women who got burnout because their partners manipulated them into doing everything for them. Trying to change their approach and not let themselves get pushed around is a big challenge and super draining. We have some that hit a low because of trauma, because of a loved one dying. It’s harsh, and it’s sad. The first few days were horrid. I slept really badly for a few days and was constantly tired. Add to that the stress of a new environment and lot of people around, I was a mess. On the third day I stared crying after a group because I picked up the emptions (mostly sadness) so intensely. Hyperempathy can be a bitch. I still get close to tears now and then, mostly when I’m extremely stressed because then my emotion regulation shuts down. The first few days I fled to the toilet very often to calm down. My stim pad and music helped a lot. In the second week I didn’t need it as often, but I still stim during groups, mostly by stroking the fabric of the chair I’m sitting on or wiggling my fingers. I’ve also noticed I rub my hands and arms a lot while speaking. A year ago I would have tried to suppress it, but screw that, I need to stim to survive this.

The people are really nice. The psychiatrist who is responsible for my internship is a cool dude who likes D&D and wear bow ties every day. I’ve started the mission to find out how many different bow ties he has. The number as of now is 8 and counting. None of them know autism very well so I doubt they’ll pick up on it, even though I don’t hide my stimming a whole lot. I still make eye contact, even though it’s as always pretty unstable. I have trouble focusing on a point, anywhere in the face, and all the years of training make it hard to not make eye contact. Conversations with the patients go reasonably well. I guess I really learned how to do smalltalk by now. (Pro tip: It’s always the same. I can’t tell how many times I’ve explained where I study, what I study, in which semester I am, and where I’m from and what route I take by car. Seriously.) I often accompany patients to therapies. The other therapists are super nice. A lot of the therapies benefit me as well. I like to think I wouldn’t need it unless I hit super hard times (I couldn’t either way, because then the insurance would act up and employers don’t like people with problems), but now that I’m here it’s really helpful since i get to see both sides, that of the patients and the reasoning behind it. I started drawing again, and finally got around to use pastels for the first time, for example. I bought my own pack now and will start to practise portraits so I have something to sign should a band I like give autographs on a festival. The relaxation sessions are pretty chill too, after I gave up on meditation for lack of time. I even got around to work out again. (And caught a cold, woo.) We did a small trip to a nearby city in the Netherlands, which was hella cold and also entailed me not finding shit. At least I saw a bunch of cute dogs. Surprisingly, the conversation once went to gender stuff and the toilet situation. Surprise, not actually surprised, there’s people (women, in this case) who don’t want only unisex toilets. Why? Because they don’t want any other gender, with the reasioning, hold on this is gold, the men always freak out as well when a woman comes into their bathrooms. I was mad at first but if I think about it now, it’s hilarious. The bow tie psychiatrist cleared things up, but apparently she gets very fired up about the topic every time. I didn’t start a fight like I would have in a more comfortable environment, but it wasn’t necessary, bow tie guy has our back. In the evenings I unfortunately have to study, which only recently sorta worked because I’m not totally dead when I come home. I get to study my target language a lot, since when I’m bored I usually do some vocab and I occasionally write about my day in my target language.

Now for the bad bits. What sways me the most is that I have no clear routines. In the morning we make breakfast, but since I don’t know where everything is and how many people we are and what everyone eats it’s next to impossible for me to help. In general, I sit around a lot between therapies and meetings and when the patients are eating. It makes me feel terrible. Both nurses are basically unreadable to me and have a very, uh, powerful way of going around. I suspect they think I’m hella annoying, but I think that of everyone so who knows. Also, I managed to prove I can’t make coffee or screw a coffee flask shut. Hella embarrassing, to say the least.

Some therapies are hella uncomfortable for me, and it’s a bit problematic since I can’t step out (social anxiety, also I’m not supposed to be the one with problems.) One patient is in the clinic because of panic attacks, but he’s also hella sensitive to sound, just like me, and hates being touched. In one session we were supposed to do a game where we clap hands with each other and I was honestly really relieved when he said he couldn’t do it. Another therapy session was about touching hands with each other while we walked past, and look each other in the eyes and it was honestly the most uncomfortable thing I’ve done in quite a while. The excercise is about knowing your own boundaries and i guess it makes sense (but I’m not sure what that’s good for when you can’t step out because you’re not a patient.) There’s also a billard table in the clinic as well and one patient just thrashes the balls around every time. It’s like he lets all his aggression out on the queue. You bet I flinch every time. Chill the fuck out, mate (especially since he says he’s not aggressive. Sure bro.) Food is a smaller issue. I got stamps for the cafeteria, but some stuff is just... nope. So far I’ve managed to avoid stuff I couldn’t deal with, or ate just enough to convince people I was full. Some food there is actually really good though and the clinic is literally in the same building as a small supermarket and a bakery, so it’s chill.

Overall, I’m surprised how well I deal. I know what I have to avoid now, so it’s really chill. I might actually go into therapy after all. There’s some icky stuff, but once I’m not an intern anymore I can do my own routine and organize stuff.

#dev rambles #actually autistic #psychology

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fishdavidson · 7 years

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Dream Journal 2017-08-03: Olivia Munn, Private Detective

You know what the world needs more of? Noir detective stories with the gender roles reversed. Luckily for me (and by extension, you), Olivia Munn has us covered on that front. It’s a story sort of like Jessica Jones, except there aren’t any superpowers and Olivia actually has money because she’s famous. I think she managed this by doing all her real-life TV and movie roles and doing detective work on the side.

Olivia runs a detective agency out of her palatial house, which is covered in glass and marble everywhere. It’s sort of like the palace of Versailles, if that place could ever be trusted to not be ostentatious and covered in gold for one damned minute. But I digress.

People with mysteries needing to be solved make an appointment at her house. She has a quick interview with them about the job ahead and iron out the details, then puts on some hella stylish clothes to go out and do some investigating. I booked an appointment for today, because I had mystery that needed to be solved. I can’t remember what my mystery was after waking up, so I’m just gonna pretend that I was here to discuss the mystery of my missing mystery.

Today she was wearing a wide-legged black pantsuit with a green blouse. The interview was short, and Olivia thought my request was reasonable. She excused herself to go apply eyeliner in the next room as I continued talking. This wasn’t a rude thing or something like that; she’s just a busy lady with TV appearances and detective work to do and all of that really takes a bite out of her schedule.

I can see the wall art inside the powder room, and it’s an enlarged black and white photo of a nutrition label fused to the wall. Sort of like how a lot of Subway restaurants are decorated. It took me a moment to realize what the nutrition label was for, but the ingredient list gave it away. It was a nutrition label for makeup. I know people aren’t supposed to eat makeup, but good news for concealer fans: there are ZERO calories per serving. Probably tastes terrible, but I can only imagine that people who eat makeup aren’t doing it for the flavor.

“I have just the pair of shoes to wear while solving this mystery!” she tells me. It is widely known that Olivia Munn is a connoisseur of fine footwear. She has embraced the stereotype of women having a lot of shoes, but she is fabulously wealthy and can afford an entire room within which to house her shoes. She likes shoes, and any haters can just accept a swift kick in the rear from the pointiest shoes she owns. “They’ll go great with this outfit!”

Because of the nature of dreams, I know that she is referring to a pair of peep-toe snakeskin pumps. Honestly these shoes would look trashy on nearly any outfit, but Olivia knows how to make the shoes work with the outfit instead of against it. Unfortunately, Olivia is also suffering from a mystery of her own. When she goes to retrieve said shoes from their place on the walls of the powder room, they aren’t there. She looks around for a bit, wanders through some likely locations, but nothing turns up. But when she walks through the bathroom, she discovers that someone has carefully placed the shoes she was planning on wearing today in the toilet. Again, due to the nature of dreams, I am able to see this through Olivia’s eyes.

She is concerned by this development, because she knows that someone broke into her house and did this to send a message. “On second thought,” she says to nobody in particular, “I think I’ll wear something more practical today.” She walks out of the powder room in a pair of modest flats, ready to investigate her way to a solution for both of our mysteries.

The dream ends here, but for sake of narrative completion, I would like to imagine a potential ending for Olivia’s story. I’m thinking that there is some stalker super-fan who is in love with Olivia’s feet. This creeper either has a thing for wet shoes or wants to destroy the ugliest shoes in her collection so that Olivia can only wear “beautiful” shoes. So she has to figure out a who this person is, how they got in, and how to stop them. Maybe a foot fetishist is too low-hanging fruit for this narrative arc. Who do you think should be behind this mystery, dear reader?

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Photo of Olivia Munn taken from her IMDB page. She is truly an elegant lady (also super smart).

#olivia munn #detective #dream journal #shoes #makeup #celebrities #dreams #fishdavidson #mystery

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taylorjean-travel-blog · 7 years

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FROM WHERE IT ALL STARTED:

So, I don’t really know where to start to be honest. I’ve never really been good at writing, but maybe it will feel easier writing about my story and past experiences. Not sure why I thought about starting this blog- But I thought it would be a good way for people to read what I’ve been up to for the past few years with my travels/working as a yachtie (which will be in another post later on). I get a lot of questions and comments about how good my life looks and why/how I travel so much. I just want people to know that you all see only the good things that I post, lets be honest that’s what social media is, right? The best highlight reel of everyone’s lives. I never really post my struggles or the realness of working/living on a Super yacht.

My passion for traveling first started when I was about 19. Living on the Gold Coast in a job I wasn’t completely enjoying at the time. Living with my Long-term boyfriend Jed. One of my best friends Lana was travelling at the time. I never really had the desire to travel at all really- until I saw her photos and what she was getting up to- it looked incredible and so much fun. I started to Google places and checking out maps. Talking about it with Jed started getting me really excited. So we planned something big and definitely a worthwhile trip I’ll never forget. 10 weeks total in Europe, 6 weeks exploring in a van and the other 4 getting around via trains/buses and flying.

I think at the time the most daunting thing about deciding to travel for a long period of time was resigning from the security of my job and leaving my comfort zone. We moved everything back home to our family homes and that was it, we were ready to go. Not thinking about what would happen when we got back with jobs etc. We had saved and had been planning the trip for a few months. Half was booked which is a great way to do it. Luckily Jed had traveled to Europe more times than he can probably count, thanks to his map knowledge- we planned a good little route to see some places off the beaten track. I would definitely suggest traveling in a hire van or buying one. It’s a great way to discover little towns that would be harder to get too or you didn’t even know of. Back then living in a van was for sure something I found hard. This is so gross to mention to you guys BUT I didn’t shower for about 6 days at a time. Sometimes the only way we showered, brushed our teeth and used a proper toilet was at either the closest petrol station on the highway that actually provide showers for a small cost of 50cents each. The local beach that most of the time had the coldest water (it was the off season at this time)- Whip out the body wash and just get it done. Other times I would get frustrated and request for Jed to find a campsite close by to properly shower with hot water. I remember saying “If you don’t find a campsite and get us there by tonight, I’m going to kill you!” more than once. Not to mention some of the places we pulled up to sleep. I felt so scared and unsafe in countries I didn’t speak their language whilst sleeping in the dead end of a suburbia street or sleeping just off the highway with deer’s and creepy trees like something of a horror movie. Cold misty nights off a highway in Croatia- that’s the one I remember the most, I would wake Jed up when I had to pee because I didn’t want to go outside alone in the middle of the night. I also remember the first couple of nights in the van so well 3 degrees with one thin blanket for both of us that the hire company had for us?! The very next day I bought a thick sleeping bag and it was the best 50 Euros I did spend.

I had every piece of clothing I bought with me plus thermals and I was still shivering and huddling into Jed. It was the most freezing I’ve ever felt in my life. I think I slept all of 1 hour that night. Randoms kept walking by and looking in the van wondering what the hell a van from Germany was doing pulled up in their street for the night.

I’m going to post below the spots we stopped and some photos and a little paragraph from each place. The towns written in BOLD are some of my favs.

· Frankfurt, Germany

This was our first stop. I remember it being so so cold. We caught the train from Frankfurt city to where we picked up our van. Then the adventure really began.

· Paris, France

Funny story about Paris. I remember driving down the main road with the Eiffel tower in sight; I’m actually surprised we didn’t get lost. We decided to wing it for a park and surprisingly enough we scored one just a street away. Lots of the locals kept staring at us and a few of them suggest for us to not leave the van there too long as the area is known for break ins and pit pocketer’s (especially it being a tourist travel van from Germany). We were in Paris for all of 4 hours, which I find hilarious. We walked for hours around the main attractions. Ate some croissants and I bet Jed ate a cake or two. I did not fall in love with Paris like others do, each to their own though.

· Etretat, France!

So, this place is amazing but was so, so cold. Definitely need a car to get to this little gem. Etretat isn’t only just a cute small French fishing village, but has the most beautiful scenery and cliffs right on the seas side.

· Mont St Michele, France

This place was extremely cool. Massive castle in the middle of at the time an empty sea bed (it usually is surrounded with water when the tide comes in). I remember being so in shock of how crazy and detailed the buildings are, not just here but all over Europe and how old they are! Considering how basic and simple the designs of buildings are these days.

· La Rochelle, France

There was something about this cute little fishing town; market stalls with fresh olives, nuts, vegetables and fruits. There were many towns I didn’t feel comfortable at or we got completely starred at and I hated that. Thats one thing I have discovered with the Europeans, they have not been taught its rude to stare. Watch out if your like Jed and covered in tats or have really fair blond hair like myself. La Rochelle was very cute though I enjoyed walking around the streets here.

· St. Malo, France

This town has a lot of history and it actually gets surf! We stopped in here for a night or maybe food behind a mc Donald’s- not to eat just for the Wi-Fi!! I think like every little town along the coast in France has an old town. St.Malo did and it had canons out of the walls of the forte that we checked out; here is a photo of me on one.

· Biarritz, France

This was one of the warmest days on the start of our trip, I remember how excited I was that I could actually take of my 2 jumpers and eat an ice cream in the sunshine. We definitely enjoyed a scoop or 2 of gelato everyday if not every second day.

· San Sebastian

What a place! I loved San Seb, it’s so beautiful. Unfortunately we didn’t spend enough time there, I think it was only 3 days. That’s one thing I would change or do differently with a van trip is explore more and spend more time there, also probably would want to see it In summer! In all its glory. We ventured up to both lookouts and were blown away with the view. Another tip along the way is always campsites offering spaces for Vans and offering amenities.

· Pico’s De Europa National Park mountain range, Spain

This was a random stop and just a route we drove through to get to where we were going, I’m glad we did though. The mountain range was so cool and so scenic! Hung out with some snow, which was hard, to believe was around in Spain.

· Santander, Spain

· Porto, Portugal (drive through)

· Lisbon, Portugal (drive through)

· Benagil Caves, Portugal

Ok so one tip I would like to let you all in is… if you have googled this place and want to go then you must not pay for a boat trip- such a rip off! If you have a car- please drive there and its literally a 50-100m swim around the corner or hire a kayak. We had parked our van in a bush close by and slept the night and did not even realize how close we were to the caves. Eventually on our hike we came across it and enjoyed the view and cliff sides.

· Lagos, Portugal

Wow! Lagos is amazing. I really enjoyed it here, We also drove to some point where the lighthouse was, Jed always drove down the roads that I thought were so dangerous and wondered how the hell we would get back up them. I always freaked out and would say “No”. I’m glad he decided to ignore me because we pulled the van up to this amazing spot, pulled out our chairs and watched the sunset. Most nights we ate vegetables with zucchini pasta. Yes Jed did bring a zucchini peeler from home! Haha.

· San Jose, Spain (Almeria Coast)

This was one of my all time favorite spots and a place I will never forget. It was like the Arizona desert meets the Mediterranean sea. I really love Spain. The whole drive along this coast was beautiful. I was so excited when we found this place. I’m obsessed with clear blue seas rather than cities! The sun was shining, it was warm although the water was absolutely freezing we still charged in.

· PALMA DE MALLORCA, SPAIN

I don’t even know where to start with this incredible place. Just recently came back here 3 years later just because of how much I enjoy it here and probably will always come back whenever I’m in Europe. We traveled to Palma VIA a ferry from Valencia. Funny story about the Car ferry ride there. It was an over night ferry and we had learnt about how average the seats are onboard for sleeping. So, we decided to hide in the back of the van underneath all the covers and stay the whole night in the van. We had it all thought out. We had food we could munch on and a perfectly comfy bed to sleep on. Woke up in the morning to people walking to their cars whilst peeping through the curtain. Success. Palma has the most beautiful coves; I cannot even explain the color of the water and the backdrop of the mountains. This is another place I feel at home. We drove up to one of the highest points near Cap De Fermentor and slept the night, I remember being so freaked out. Felt there was ghosts all around me and random goats chilling. The most beautiful sunset from up there though. Was funny now I think back to it. Also you have to try out Beleverde Vegan/vegetarian restaurant in the town Pollenca. Seated outdoors underneath a canopy of green trees and offers such delicious food. This was our treat to ourselves for Jed’s birthday!

Cap De Fermentor, Mallorca

Cala Sant Vincec, Mallorca

Sa Colabra, Mallorca

· Barcelona, Spain

Another spot we spent only a few hours at exploring the streets and tourist attractions. We got a ferry here from Palma, found a random place to park then walked into town and around the main tourist attractions. I wasn’t too impressed to be honest. I know a lot of people love Barcelona but its not one of my favorites. The buildings and cathedral’s are very impressive though.

· Cassis, France

Yes! CASSIS! I am absolutely in love this place. Another spot I need to get back to and spend a little more time at. It’s incredible, we went on a boat trip to see the coastline and cliff sides,of course we ate a scoop of delicious gelato. We drove to the top of the mountain overlooking the town, watched the sunset and had some moments to ourselves. We came to know pretty quickly where was suitable to pull up for the night and where wasn't. Most of the time we would wake up really early and continue on leaving no time for rangers to fine us. I remember looking out the front windscreen to Jed sitting on the pull out chair listening to hardcore through his headphones and going absolutely ballistic. Air drumming and air guitar. Gosh it was so funny, by this point I think we were starting to lose our minds a little.

· Nice, France

A spot I didn’t really care about spending much time at. We literally drove straight through the main beach road.

· Monaco

Same thing here we drove straight through, also there’s not much in the way of a van campsite. So we just continued on.

· Cinque Terre, Italy

This place is extremely packed with tourists, BUT well worth the trip to. The small villages built into the sides of the cliffs are breathtaking and very picturesque. The speed of the train was syko and something I found incredibly amusing for some reason. The track along the coastline was unfortunately being tended to so we couldn’t do the walk all the way between each town.

· Pisa, Italy

Funny random stop. We literally took a pit stop to go to Carrefour. Carrefour became our favorite supermarket to shop at for our groceries. So anyway we stopped and walked to the main attraction, which is obviously the ‘leaning tower of Pisa’. Took the famous tourist photo and left.

· Rome, Italy

Rome is obviously a very famous old city with a lot of history. We found a campsite a fair way out of town but easily accessible by bus. I remember it was a really average day with the weather, really rainy and overcast. The coliseum was actually amazing. One thing about traveling in the down season is how much less packed with tourists it is. It blows me away how old and the history of the buildings in Europe are. We then went on a bus tour to the Vatican City and missioned around there. I think there was actually an Easter weekend ceremony happening and there was a public concert on and he was actually in town for this. So that was cool to see him.

· Pompeii, Italy

Here we did a day tour. The tour guide looked like the guy that wrote Seinfeld – Larry David. It was so funny that Jed had to get a photo with him. He was cool, I actually learnt a lot about Pompeii. Here’s a brief outline: Mount Vesuvius, a volcano near the Bay of Naples in Italy, is hundreds of thousands of years old and has erupted more than 50 times. Its most famous eruption took place in the year 79 A.D., when the volcano buried the ancient Roman city of Pompeii under a thick carpet of volcanic ash. The dust “poured across the land” like a flood, one witness wrote, and shrouded the city in darkness…like the black of closed and unlighted rooms.” Two thousand people died, and the city was abandoned for almost as many years. When a group of explorers rediscovered the site in 1748, they were surprised to find that–underneath a thick layer of dust and debris–Pompeii was mostly intact. The buildings, artifacts and skeletons left behind in the buried city have taught us a great deal about everyday life in the ancient world.

· Positano (Almalfi Coast), Italy

The drive here was absolutely mental. Being the weekend of Easter. I think all the Italians had a public holiday so they all had the day off and were thinking the same thing. Eat gelato and visit the almalfi coast for a day trip. These roads are one of the top dangerous roads in Europe to drive. Windy/thin and on the edge of a cliff. For me it was a great view. Poor Jed didn’t see much from having to concentrate on keeping us alive. We agreed on the first car park we saw we would take and walk as far as we had too to get to Positano. So that we did. It was worth it. I hope that in the future I go back and actually stay there, somewhere romantic! I’m sure during my time yachting I will see it from the sea.

In between here by this point Jed and I did start to lose our minds being in the van. We always had our favorite music on which consisted of The National almost every night before bed and a lot of pop punk/hardcore when we were feeling crazy. At this time we were driving from Almalfi coast to Bari another town in Italy. Like I will always say its the worst place ever. Won’t go into that story. So anyways Jed and I had Confession on and were jamming out hard moshing in the car whilst driving down the highway.

· Croatia: Dubrovnik/ Split/ Plitvic National Park and KRKA National Park

Croatia hey, Croatia is awesome. I’ve never done sail Croatia like everyone else but I have experienced it by van. From a place called Bari in Italy (THE worst place in the world) we traveled to Croatia via ferry, then arriving in Dubrovnik. It’s another amazing old town! I loved exploring the little alley ways and walking along the ancient City walls surrounding it. But most of all my favorites were the National Parks we trekked to. We did them both in one day and unfortunately for us the weather was drizzly and overcast. Usually you can swim at Plitvic. Its like a magical fairy land, its incredible! KRKA was a random waterfall out in the middle of actually nowhere. I remember getting annoyed trying to find it. But we eventually got there.

Dubrovnik, Croatia

KRKA National Park, Croatia

Plitvic National Park, Croatia

· Venice, Italy

I really did enjoy Venice. Obviously another crazy tourist destination. One thing I remember was the campsite we stayed in! Haha. It was the really good amenities that got me excited, Good Wi-Fi connection and hot showers!! That afternoon we spent walking around the side streets and explored. We watched a guy propose from a gondola (how original mate) haha it was romantic actually. We had some epic Italian pizza for dinner and amazing gelato for desert.

· Switzerland: Versasca Valley/ Jungfrau/ Lucerne/ Interlaken

Switzerland is crazy good if you’re into skiing/snowboarding. I definitely need to get back there. There was a lot that Jed was excited to do there but we weren’t able to because the season hadn’t started/the weather was terrible and the trains wouldn’t go up to top or something like that. Versasca Valley is a spot you definitely need to go visit. Jungfrau is also known as ‘The Top Of Europe”. The view and adventure platform at 3454 meters above sea level unites in a place that fascinates people of the Alps: a majestic backdrop of ice, snow and rock with breathtaking far-sightedness. You can usually see the Black forest in Germany on a good clear day from the top. The train literally goes directly straight up through the mountain. The Valleys in Switzerland are a must see, greenest rolling grass hills with cute little cottages huddled through.

· Amsterdam, Holland

I think most people love Amsterdam its well known for its museums, red light district, coffee shops(weed) but also the great variety of eating & drinking places and night life. By this point we had returned the Van back in Germany and had flown here. I was blown away by the serious amounts of bicycles and canals. Reminds me of Venice a little bit. Didn’t smoke or eat cookies while I was here. Just ate loads of Poffertjes (the Dutch pancakes) and rode around all day!! We stayed a little out of town here, but rode and caught buses everywhere! I remember one day riding back to our hotel and witnessing a loser on a moped hitting a chick on her bike, was pretty full on! She was all-good though.

· London, UK

From Amsterdam we caught a bus to London town. London was cool, was nice to hear the English language again and made me feel seriously at home, as at this point I was feeling a little homesick.

· St. Ives, UK

A picturesque fishing harbor and seaside town voted best family holiday destination in the coast of Cornwall. Loads of good surf and beautiful beaches. My friend Caroline was living and managing backpackers here, She offered for us to stay for a cheap price. She gave us a private room for 2 weeks and we joined a gym worked out and just hung out! I remember Caro greeting us off the bus from London with Cornish Pasties! It was still cold, actually pretty freezing when the sun wasn’t out. We went paddle boarding one day, there were seals chilling- very different to back home where it would be dolphins or sharks.

· Athens, Greece

Athens was interesting, not what I had expected it be actually. Very run down and graffiti everywhere. We only had one day and night here before our ferry to Mykonos. We went and saw the Acropolis and a couple of other sights.

· Mykonos, Greece

Mykonos is one of my favorite Greek islands. Definitely a must see island, Party or no party its up to you. We did not party, just explored on quads and scooters, which was so, much fun. We ate so many gyros. Baklava also quickly became our favorite desert.

· Santorini, Greece

Santorini was really really amazing obviously. Everyone is aware of this I don’t really need to say anymore. Quads, Gyros, Baklava, sunsets and fun. We also did a boat tour to the volcano that is still active just in the middle of the island that was pretty rad. Check out the Red beach too!

· Heraklion, Crete

Whatever you do, do not stay in Heraklion! EVER! We literally hated it; we watched series in bed most of the days, we were pretty exhausted. We were only here because of the Greek island package. We did do a day trip to ancient ruins though so don’t judge us. I will be writing about another trip I did to Chania, Crete with my dad later on! Trust me stay tuned because this place is somewhere you NEED to get yourself to or put on your bucket list.

I also would just like to add that Jed and I look pretty funny and gross in a lot of these pictures, please forgive us as we probably hadn't showered in 6 days and cared more about where we were rather than what we looked like. Also these pictures probably aren't good enough for social media these days. No filters, no sharpened photos and a whole lot of realness!

I managed to collect a postcard from every country/ Town we went too, which will be perfect memories for me to show my kids and grand children in the future. Haha.

As you can see we visited a lot of towns/countries in that 10 weeks. Lots of frustrated and stressed moments for sure but also SO many laughs and happy memories were made that I will never forget, we enjoyed every moment and especially now when I look back at it, I would do it all over again. Big thanks to map man Jed, we are still very close friends to this day 3 years later. If your reading this I know you know what you mean to me.

This is just a basic outline of my first Euro trip traveling like a backpacker. Many more trips to come so stay tuned! My next Post will probably be about how I got into yachting and some sights I saw and personal experiences along the way.

#spain france italy croatia greece uk germany exploremore traveleurope europe backpacking travelblog wheretotravelineurope

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heckapoomoved · 7 years

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i said it before and i’ll say it again; a hogwarts au is necessary for every series. every. series.

*throws some one piece hogwarts au headcanons at your face*

i. luffy was sorted into slytherin and usopp into gryffindor. it didn’t seem likely at first- especially due to the house rivalry- but they’ve become best friends. they’re well-known for their savage pranks, constant rule-breaking and hearts of gold. the relationship they share really does highlight the similarities between their houses and does do some good in bringing them all closer together

ii. robin teaches ancient runes (but is also always willing to tutor for history of magic). she originally worked under croc in the ministry but moved onto her position at hogwarts after some time. she’s become a lot more nurturing and noticeably happier during her time there, but retains her love of learning and educating, making her a ravenclaw

iii. zoro’s a beater and sanji’s a chaser (on their respective quidditch teams). they’re (surprise surprise) rivals, and have zero chill when it comes to competing against each other. (it actually scares some people, which causes nami- who’s also a chaser- to yell at them. usopp gets a kick out of commentating for it, though)

iv. usopp’s best class is probably charms, but divination is definitely his favorite. he loves making up terrifying tales that he claims to see of the future to his classmates, either irritating or scaring them. zoro’s his favorite victim

v. chopper was bitten by a werewolf and had a hard, hard time adjusting to society for a super long time. luffy is probably his first-ever actual friend, with the rest of the straw hats closely following. he can brew potions to keep himself under control himself but they always follow to provide moral support (chopper’s crazy good at potions and herbology)

vi. brooke’s a ghost and has a tendency to either a) terrify students with his creepy laugh or b) weird them out with it. he gets a kick out of telling them bad jokes all day. he also made the mistake of trying to peep on nami while she was in the bathroom and she jinxed him down the toilet. you’ll never find him there anymore

vii. franky teaches transfiguration. he gets along really well with usopp, and is always enthusiastic about his work. he thinks zoro is a bit of a slacker and is always trying to get him going, which zoro irritably blames on franky’s house being hufflepuff

viii. sanji’s a squib!! don’t ask me how he plays quidditch or got accepted into hogwarts, i don’t know yet. might discard those concepts, even. but i know that i want him to be a squib

ix. luffy’s patronus is a monkey, zoro’s is a tiger, nami’s is a cat, chopper’s is a tanuki (his animagus is a reindeer though), robin’s is a falcon and franky’s is a rhino. (yes i ripped this off that cover page or that question corner, can’t remember)

x. the marauder’s map of this universe was made by nami and usopp for zoro’s sake (he kept getting lost) but it ended up becoming much more than that and is currently the source of most of the world’s troubles tbh

#one piece #straw hat pirates #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #usopp #nico robin #tony tony chopper #brooke #black leg sanji #cat burglar nami #iron man franky #arts & farts #i really need a more suitable hc tag name... hmm

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spiritcc · 7 years

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The Mistresses of Lord Maulbrey

Was it the mistress and not mistresses that goes around in the translation? Should’ve been mistresses, but anyway.

Much spoilers, very series, beware, so wow, you know, all that.

The case case episode, the main plot is still there, but I think it’s still in the old school Holmes style, a complicated detective story with twists and turns and drama and all that. Quite enjoyable, I like Holmes’ aethestics there, always end up screencapping the guy the most.

He’s beauty he’s grace he’s got a joke for a face.

This is incredible that I managed to miss the entire build up to Watson proposing to Mrs. Hudson in the future, but I just had a really hard time understanding these idiots. Funny, huh, yesterday I called Holmes and Adler a bunch of idiots, now it’s Watson and Mrs. Hudson. Love sure does some fucky things to you.

Fucking Holmes in the end actually spelled out the answer to my question as to what exactly Mrs. Hudson is going for here, like holy tits, thanks buddy, like you actually helped. Now it’s clear to me that the love is not one-sided, but Mrs. Hudson is sure a weird lady in her ways. And yeah, she wanted something from Watson, and there came drunk dating advice Holmes and rightfully said that she’s waiting for him to make a move, and a cool move for that. Like huh. Understanding women, I had trouble understanding her across all these years, what are you saying.

Take a look at this lady and please answer me what kind of transformation was this

Talk about villain wardrobe.

Okay, the case. Very smart again, very overcomplicated as well, just like Moriarty likes it. I just can’t drag a man for this if he slaps his fucking initials on everything he breathes, those fucking maths nerds just can’t think simple, can they.

I mean I guess it’s worth to fight for like 500k pounds, it’s no rocket science Moriarty does self-funding for his big ben plans and he needs a fuckton he can’t get any other legal way, but still. Really, some sort of manslut inheritance scheme? Too fucking bad all your plans relied on an assumption that Maulbrey isn’t a troll, buddy.

Anyway, in this case I again saw some patterns both from the previous and future episodes. Future ones? Getting people via card debts, exactly how they got Calloway on the force here, and how they got that blueprints chancery man from the last episode: get them into huge debts, promise to let them go if they do a job for Moriarty. And from the previous ones, using people with their own personal interest in the matter. Using racist Sholto to foil the Indian plans, and using Maulbrey’s bastard daughter to get to his money. Never surface in the case, throw these people under the bus: nobody suspects you and the criminals had a solid motive and did everything willingly. Bingo.

Why the hell did I understand it only just now why Moriarty makes such a big deal out of staying hidden, he’s literally being hunted by the queen herself. Literally, all the high top secret unknown forces are on his ass, if he doesn’t make an extended effort to hide, he’s fucked.

So, the case was kind of complicated, let me clear it up for myself: this artist gal was Maulbrey’s illegal daughter. When the thing about his mistresses getting showered with money became known, she somehow got hooked up with Moriarty. Moriarty proposed this entire scheme. The gal grabbed her two half-sisters and threw them into the lord’s bed. Both her and Moriarty agreed they weren’t actually going to share with these gals, so they killed them. That’s two out of five total mistresses, including miss “Baker”, the other three, I’m suspecting, were actual mistresses that pushed Moriarty to his idea in the first place. In the end, Moriarty wanted to outplay everybody, lying not only to miss Baker, but also to the artist gal as well: Baker gets rid of the nephew, thinks she’s the sole candidate and gets her ass chopped => she was the actual last element in the scheme to get rid of, and, according to the first will, Maulbrey’s closet relative gets all the money, i.e. the artist gal. Then the gal would’ve been disposed of as well, and therefore everyone involved is dead and Moriarty gets himself a cigar shower.

What still remains fucked up about this entire story is the fact that one of that gal’s sisters was her twin, so Maulbrey was her dad. Like,,,,

Anyway, yeah, quite a nice old school case, nice episode, but it’s still a kind of one-off that was just another quick plan foiled, doesn’t play a big role or anything.

Double anyway, very good Holmes content. Black shirt - 10/10, soup eating skills - 10/10, faces - 10 weird laughs/10.

Yeah, in this episode we find out that Moriarty is Robert. As sve-tka once pointed it out, this is an ancient reference, so ancient it goes way back to some stage play that used to run during the times when ACD himself was alive and well, and there, apparently, Morarty’s name was Robert. *shrugs* I find it kinda cute though, there ain’t a bad guy called Robert nowhere. Rob Moriarty. Robby. Amazing.

That gal kind of looks like Mrs. Hudson, but either way she’s really pretty

Holmes legit busted a nut somewhere during this episode because of her, have you seen the faces he made while talking to her? They even legit spell it out, she said she liked him, and Holmes replied he sadly liked her too, like??? Irene would be shook at the sight of this fuckery, good thing this gal turned out to be psychotic and now chills in jail, amiright. Why do you always fall for such shit, Holmes. Why can’t you just find yourself some chick that goes into a seizure at the faintest wind of problems brushing her ass, not some type of freelance gold diggers with a fucking body count? Honestly.

Speaking of freelance assholes with a body count, here’s Watson and his first time in jail.

That is incredible that I have to mention it was only his first time there yet, what the fuck is going on with people in this series. So casually too, punch a homeless dude, steal someone’s bike, wait until your friend makes a walk up to the police station to bail your ass out, and make no deal out of the entire event whatsoever. Did I mention Watson scares me more than Moriarty? There you go.

Let’s appreciate the man that managed to fuck everyone over with his touching trust for a man he’d never met.

I got so emotional when his parcel came in, he literally never met Holmes ever in his life before (ironically Holmes was the last person he’d seen in his life), but he went on and sent these exceptionally crucial documents that Moriarty himself was hunting for, to Holmes. Because he’d heard that Holmes is a great man with great abilities, and Kibby’s trust in that was so strong he turned this entire case upside down, in the favor of a man he never knew, but believed in. Holmes was giggling like a bitch reading his letter, he was showered with compliments. I don’t know about you, but I find this very touching. Hats off to Kibby.

Goggles on, that’s right. Velcom to ma labratory where safity is namber one preority.

Here comes the detail that will make it into the Sign of Four. You thought some little black peeps were this dangerous and exotic? Take, that, literature bullshit, there’s a country more fucked up than all of the Andaman Islands combined - Australia.

Let’s talk about this Henry dude, which could’ve been the prototype to sir Henry in the future, as a nephew of a rich guy and the only his known heir. They forced the guy into a pissy bathroom and made him write his testimony with a pencil on a toilet roll.

They’ve stressed this dude out so much he died on a shitter of a heart attack while writing an all-important information on a toilet roll.

He visibly blinked on camera while dead. I rest my case.

Oh man, the “Actually I heal people” scene.

“Actually, I’m a doctor” is what he really said, but my proofreader changed it to reflect on the actual meaning of that phrase. Vrach = doctor, learning Russian with Sherlock Holmes, you’ve heard this word a lot. Syschik = detective, all the time. In the Soviet series Watson was exclusively a doctor, here it’s both vrach and doctor. But both adaptations avoid calling Holmes a detective religiously, and that’s what everyone is calling him nowadays. But it’s funny how persistent they are when it comes to this detail, always a syschik, never a detective. Very Russian for a British show, don’t you think.

Also, I did point it out once and I’ll point it out again - guns here matter and I love it. They’re actually counting bullets shot, and their barrels do run out - when Roy’s did, he was harmless. Thank you.

The face reveal wasn’t exactly a reveal because we kinda saw Moriarty already in the previous episode, but thanks I guess?

Shades have just rendered the entire achievement pointless, but yeah, alright? Holmes now can hang it above his bed, which is exactly what he does? Do you caress the picture before going to sleep or something?

What I’m saying is, we just saw his face, but a lot of people have never guessed that he was there ever since episode one personally, so that face reveal was rather yeah. Still love ya Rob, cool shades.

So yeah, a nice episode and all, many good moments, but it kind of falls out of the overall plot because of the “and I could’ve gotten away with that too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!” story. Like yeah, the plot didn’t happen, they found out about it this episode, foiled it in the same episode, the end. I still like the case though, as I’ve said before, the good old Holmes, as canon as it can ever get with this series.

#new russian sherlock holmes #marathon notes #the mistresses of lord maulbrey

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