#ANd i should be able to still do my bookstore job
Text
Die Of A Broken Heart
Ask and you shall receive. Here is some pure heartbreaking angst to feed us masochists.
Summary: Azriel goes on a mission that should have been simple only for it to end in one of the worst ways possible.
Azriel x Reader
“Are you sure you’re ready for this? You just got back last night and you’re exhausted.”
You watched your husband as he continued to get ready for his mission. It wasn’t really a mission at all unless one thought of the Hewn City that way. There were many that would call it such but to each their own. Azriel stopped his task of lacing his buckles together to give you a smile but when that didn’t seem to satisfy you, he pulled you into his arms in a tight embrace.
“As soon as Cassian and I return, you will have me all to yourself,” he assured gently, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Try not to worry so much, love.”
You both admired and hated his work ethic. He was so loving, loyal, and devoted that he spread himself so thin but he was slowly making progress. Very, very slow progress but progress, nonetheless. The two of you had only been married for a few decades and it was as blissful as it could possibly be.
There had been an internal war within you when he had first started courting you. It was no secret that he wanted a mate, that all of the males wanted a mate. You had been hesitant in giving your heart to him because you knew that he had someone wonderful out there that the Mother had made just for him.
What you hadn’t expected was a one sided mating bond. You had known since the night of your wedding but hadn’t been able to bring yourself to tell him. Azriel was always so loving and devoted to you that you didn’t have to question him. He assured you more times than you could count that even if his mate did miraculously appear, that he would still choose you. Since you knew that he was your mate, all of those worries had left your mind.
“But you still have to train your new spy for Spring Court,” you huffed, earning a quiet chuckle from him as he continued preparing.
“I have already told Rhys that it will have to wait.” He shot you a playful grin. “You are my priority. The female will still be there in another two weeks.”
“You, the amazing spymaster, are going to take an entire two weeks off?” you asked skeptically. “You are going to go insane with that much time off of work.”
“Actually,” he began, his voice dropping into that delicious seductiveness while he pushed you back into the wall. “I had every intention of keeping myself occupied in much more pleasurable ways.”
The hard length of him pressed into you, earning him a playful giggle. He simply pulled you into a deep kiss that left you both breathless only to do it again before he finally left with one last ‘I love you.’ You always hated to watch him go but knowing that he would be back later that night made it better. It also helped that you had a day planned with Nesta at the bookstore.
“Did Cassian let anything slip about what they’re supposed to be doing?” you asked the female as you walked down the street.
“He was able to withstand my questioning, surprisingly,” Nesta huffed. “I’m sure it’s not a big deal.”
“Probably not,” you agreed.
You simply followed your friend throughout the stores, grabbing a few items for yourself before making your way to a nearby cafe. Nesta was relentless in getting you back into training so to appease her, you agreed. It was mostly because you missed the three females that you had made friends with but also because it would keep your mind busy once Azriel left again to train his new spy.
It was hours past time when your husband had promised that he would be home and it had you pacing a hole in the floor of your sitting room. This was the absolute worst part of being committed to someone with such an important job. Each time he was away from you, you prayed for his safety. That was exactly why you fell into a panicked frenzy when Rhys entered your mind to let you know that you were needed at Madja’s.
“What happened?” you demanded breathlessly, bursting into one of the healing rooms only to see a grumbling Azriel sitting up in the bed and holding his head.
“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” Cassian waved it off dismissively despite the serious worry in his eyes. “He just took a hit to the head.”
“The culprit will have a fitting punishment,” Rhys assured when you went to open your mouth. “Take him home and watch over him.”
And so you did. It didn’t help that your husband was grumpier than usual, fussing and ensuring you that he could take care of himself. You weren’t convinced due to his slight stumble and how he continued to hold his bandage wrapped head. He all but fell face first into the bed and there was no way that you could leave him alone.
You awoke the next morning only to find Azriel’s side of the bed cold. It caused a deep frown to form on your face because he should be there. He was injured on top of promising to stay home. The very least that you had expected was for him to still be cuddled up to you since the sun could barely be seen in the sky. Even after searching the entire house, he was nowhere to be seen and not even his scent lingered in the air.
In a sigh of defeat, you made your way to the House of Wind in hopes to find some answers. It was also empty up until you made it up to the training ring. Cassian, Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn were already there and beginning their warmups for the session.
“Finally come back to join us?” Cassian asked in a teasing voice but his eyes were wary.
“I was actually hoping to find my husband.” You almost tripped over the last word, almost revealing the secret that nobody else knew. “He promised that he would be home for the next two weeks.”
“He said something came up and training that new female was extremely important.”
You eyed Cassian skeptically, noting that the general appeared uneasy with the topic of conversation. Something wasn’t right and your hand instinctively rubbed against your heart as if the bond was trying to tell you something. It was always there, always lingering and glowing brightly within you but it was dim today. Nesta, who seemed extremely in tune with you, pulled you into the ring with them, insisting that training would help but that dim light wouldn’t change your worry. There was something wrong if the strange new tug was any indication of it.
With nothing better to do, you relented and after warmups, you had a sword in hand. All three females had been training hard and it was a task to keep up with the high spirited Gwyn. You had always loved the priestess and the upbeat, determined energy that always buzzed around her.
You felt it just as soon as you blocked Gwyn’s attack. There was pain that tugged at your heart that caused you to stumble, earning a nice cut on your arm as you hit your knees. You were certain that a scream of pain, one that didn’t come from the new physical injury, left you but you were unaware of anything but the pain in your chest. It was sharp, as if a thousand daggers were piercing you all at once.
A blinding heat then enveloped that same pain that had your head swimming. The bond that was there slowly dimmed further and you could almost see it. You could almost see the cord rip and shred, the feeling going straight into your chest. The burning paired with the sharpness continued until you could feel it through every fibre of your being where it settled into your very soul. It raged with an intensity that you knew had never been experienced by the world before.
Your heart stopped just as the last pieces of the bond shredded and broke before the blissful darkness took you.
Even in unconsciousness the pain didn’t stop. It felt like being tied to a spit and being turned over an open, blazing fire. The extreme heat didn’t stop and even after your mind began to clear, you were unable to open your eyes. It felt like you were dying from the inside out but muffled voices hit your ears, thankfully giving you something else to focus on.
“So you are telling me that your new spy is your mate?”
Rhys. That voice that was unmistakable and laced with frustration.
“It just happened, Rhys.”
Your husband. The one that was your mate that somehow had another mate. You searched inside of you and all that was left of the one sided bond were shredding sharp threads blowing in an openness of an unfamiliar void. Your mind couldn’t wrap around what was happening. You couldn’t understand.
“What do you plan to do?”
“I don’t know.”
Those three whispered words felt like another knife to the heart, continuing to slice into your already shredded soul.
“What do you mean you don’t know? You have a wife that loves you! A wife that you have been happily in love with for decades!”
The quiet words of the High Lord were nearly a growl, obviously angry with his spymaster.
“She’s my mate, Rhys!”
Your husband was attempting to defend himself as if the mating bond had finally taken over him completely.
“You just met this female. She is supposed to be your apprentice. Your student. Nothing more.”
Azriel truly had left you, while he was injured, only to find his mate. You wanted to cry but the pain, the heat, kept you from doing anything.
“Well that’s not what happened.”
“What is more, your wife fell in training and has been unconscious for days while in a pain that none of us can figure out while you have refused to come back because you have been with your mate!”
It was all that you needed to hear. Your worst fears that had been present before the bond had happened. He had been spending time with his mate all while you had been unconscious and in immense pain and hadn’t bothered to answer his High Lord’s attempts to reach him. You must have finally been able to move because you heard quick footsteps just before a familiar set of hands were wrapped around yours.
“Y/n.” Azriel’s pleading voice barely registered in your mind. “Please look at me.”
It felt wrong to do so but you did. You loved him with all that you were and it was now your downfall. There was such worry on his face and his eyes went wide at whatever he found or didn’t find on your face. Even through the blazing haze, you barely registered the deep concern and made you wondered why he cared all of a sudden.
“Are you alright?” It was Rhysand’s voice this time as he pushed the shadowsinger away from you. “How can I help?”
“I’ll be fine,” you rasped, your throat raw as if you had been screaming.
“You have been screaming,” Rhys confirmed in a gentle but quiet voice. “Let me help you.”
A growl came from behind you but you focused on those violet eyes that made you feel just the tiniest bit better.
“I just need my bed and some time.”
He nodded, seemingly determined to give you whatever you wanted.
It took two weeks for you to pull yourself together enough to present yourself somewhat normally. Azriel had stayed with you for a week before leaving for his next mission, leaving you at the House with Nesta and Cassian. You knew that it wasn’t a mission. They didn’t know that you had overheard the conversation and knew that your husband had a mate that wasn’t you.
By the time that the third week had passed, Azriel came into your room and watched you cautiously. It had taken you that long since the bond broke to act like your normal self but the pain, the burning of your soul never stopped. The broken threads cut into you over and over with no way to stop it. You were sure that you were going mad and you only allowed yourself to succumb to it whenever you knew that you would be alone for a while.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” He sat on the edge of the bed but didn’t move closer. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Oh?” you asked as casually as you could even though a piece of you knew what was coming.
“I found my mate,” he whispered.
“Oh.”
This time it came out as a broken whisper, your fear only fueling the flame inside of you. Your heart picked up a rapid pace in your chest and you were sure that it was going to explode if it didn’t stop.
“I need-” He swallowed hard, his eyes lining with tears. “I need to at least get to know her.”
“You promised me, Azriel,” you croaked. “Please.”
“Just give me three weeks, y/n. Please.”
“Az…” Your voice trailed off and you realized that there was no point in arguing. “Okay.”
“Thank you.”
Despite his voice sounding thick and desperate, he simply brushed a light kiss against your lips. Your heart continued to race in panic and that pain raged blindingly until it was dark once again.
Azriel felt horrible for leaving you because he had promised you for decades that he would never leave you. He promised that he would love you and only you for the rest of eternity and even though that would always be true, he had to be sure. No sooner than he was in the sky after leaping off of the balcony on the House of Wind, a pair of hands were around him and he was suddenly in his dungeon.
“What the hell, Rhysand?” he growled, frustrated and annoyed and Cassian and the two fae in the chairs barely caught his eye.
“I came back here with Cassian to continue the work that you should have done after being attacked and learned a great deal of information.”
“Like what?” he snapped, his feet shifting while he debated on winnowing away.
“Don’t. Even. Think. About. It.” the High Lord growled. “As it turns out, that blast of power that sent you flying into the wall and causing your concussion cursed you.”
That caused him a pause and he eyed the two males that he had met with.
“Your ‘mating bond’ is fake.”
“But-”
“Tell him,” Rhysand ordered the males, refusing to let him speak.
“The female- your wife- is your mate,” one bit out. “You are holding us back in this horrid place so we cursed you to be chained to another female so that you would move courts.”
Because he would. If his mate didn’t want to live in Night Court, he would follow her. He looked between his brothers who didn’t appear to have the first bit of sympathy for him. Rhysand obviously knew that he had just left you for his mate and didn’t care about his wishes any longer.
In his desperation to get back to you, to right his wrong and beg for your forgiveness, he began his methods. It didn’t take much to get them to break and the curse cured. In an instant, he no longer felt that fake mating bond but when he looked to his High Lord, he was pale and frozen in place.
“Let’s go.”
Rhysand grabbed both him and Cassian, winnowing them back into the House. They sprinted towards your room only to find Madja hovering over you, her face pale and grave when she looked at them.
“What’s happening?” he asked in a panic, running to your side and pulling your freezing cold hand into his.
“She’s dying.” Madja’s voice was just as grave as her face. “Her body is shutting down.”
“Y/n!” Azriel yelled, shaking you as much as he dared to try to get you to open your eyes.
Madja’s hand was over your heart, looking as if she was focusing extra hard on it.
“Her heart is beating too fast,” the female murmured. “I have no way to slow it.”
Panic overtook him entirely and he continued to shake you in desperation. Your lips had turned blue and there was no color to your face even though your chest rose and fell in an unhealthy rhythm. Finally, finally, you opened your eyes. There was no life there and the quick flicker of recognition was all that it took. A dim light simmered within him, a light wrapped around a simple thread that should have been tied to you.
He followed it to the end only to find an endless void. That quick flicker of remembering him only lasted a second before your eyes closed again.
Just as you closed your eyes and your chest came to a stop, the thin thread within him shredded apart.
He thought he heard himself scream, a scream of desperation and pain, as he felt like he had been set on fire. It was a heat that far surpassed the flames that had ruined the hands that you loved so much and he didn’t know if he could handle it. His wife, his mate, his true mate was gone and left shattered threads blowing in a new void in its wake. He couldn’t breathe as it felt like his heart was being shredded into pieces and it picked up its pace in his chest. It felt like he was about to implode.
And as the darkness pulled him closer, he realized what had been your fate and what would now be his. He realized what it was like to die of a broken heart.
Tag List:
@amara-moonlight @allygrace74 @sidthedollface2 @historygeekqueen @hnyclover @kalulakunundrum @historygeekqueen @bubybubsters @thisblogisaboutabook @mybestfriendmademe @caroline-books @justvibbinghere @wisdomofthebrain @nighttimemoonlover
#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#azriel angst#acotar#a court of thorns and roses
460 notes
·
View notes
Text
the lakes - m. murdock
a/n: hey guys so i've been struggling a lot with the fact that i might have hearing loss (i'm going to the doctor next week) and as always i am projecting, but i am not 100% sure everything in this fic is accurate and for that i apologize. but it's my little passion project and i hope you enjoy <3 as always, comments and reblogs are always loved and appreciated!
warnings: hearing loss, hearing aids, tinnitus, reader struggling with being disabled, some parts are more vulnurable and don't have the reader being like overly confident in their disability, matt being soft, some suggestive behavior at the end, kissing, nicknames, pretty pg-13 honestly
word count: 3.0k
summary: your hearing aids run out of battery, and you're forced to struggle through a day of ringing ears and being deaf. matt helps, as he always does.
pairing: matt murdock x hard of hearing!reader
now playing: the lakes - taylor swift
"take me to the lakes/where all the poets went to die/i don't belong/but my beloved, neither do you."
“Are you deaf?”
“What?”
You’re eighteen, home from college for the first time since fall break. Your family sits around for Thanksgiving, and there are so many people talking. There’s about thirteen people at this long dining room table, and they are all talking at once. You’re sitting next to your sister, but you can’t hear her well.
You know she’s speaking, and you’re sure you’re yelling, but you’re frustrated.
“I said, are you deaf? I repeated myself like, four times!”
You feel your face flush.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear you. You’re mumbling, and it’s loud in here.”
Your sister looks at you like you’re crazy.
“I’m right next to you, and I’m not mumbling. In fact, no one is yelling, either.”
You poke your fork at your sweet potatoes and feel hot, angry tears in your eyes as you avoid everyone’s gaze.
Your mom sits across from you, and frowns, planning to tell you to make an appointment at the student health center when you get back to campus.
She doesn’t even have to. You’ve booked one by the time she says it to you.
At the student health center, they administer a hearing test, and then refer you to a specialist for further testing. You call your mom, crying and she gently comforts you, before driving to the nearest bookstore and picking up a book on hearing impairments and a copy of ASL for Dummies.
At the specialist, they do another round of tests. Your doctor tells you that you do in fact have hearing issues and that you should come back in a year for more testing, to see if your hearing gets worse. For now, you get a doctor’s note that requires all your professors to take your hearing impairment into consideration. The process for getting that applied at your university is painful, and only gets worse through your years there.
Before you get to law school, your doctor tests you again, and tells you how your hearing has been decreasing in quality in the past few years. He says that you’ll need hearing aids to regulate it. You cry because you cannot afford that.
You get captioning accommodations throughout law school, as well as a note taker for certain classes that are entirely lecture based. You still try to take your own notes, but it frustrates you that suddenly you need all this help. Your own notes are incomprehensible and often miss key parts of the lecture as you sit for a few minutes trying to decipher what your professor had said a few minutes prior.
You go into corporate law after law school, choosing to stay out of court initially because you find yourself frustrated that you wouldn’t be able to process all of what’s going on due to the many voices.
You stay at this company long enough to get your hearing aids, long enough to pay your loans, and long enough to save up a good fund for your hearing aid needs.
You quit your job and get hired at Nelson, Murdock & Page as an interim while you decide what you want to do.
With your hearing aids, life isn’t so frustrating anymore. You find yourself enjoying casual chatter and not worrying about processing what your friends are saying. At family dinners, you take your hearing aids out when you’re mad at your family, to which your stepdad, another hearing aid user, always laughs.
And, despite the pay not being stellar at your job, you love it. You love working with people who need help, love fighting injustice, and you love your coworkers.
...
If only Matt Murdock would reciprocate your feelings towards him.
You’ve been dancing this dance for months. You come into work with coffee and stutter when you get to his doorway.
You wonder if he’ll ever know how desperately you want him.
You go about your days quietly, going to the bar with them at the end of a long week. You love your friends and find yourself hoping they know how much you love them.
Karen and Foggy, as well as Foggy’s fiancé, know about your hearing aids since they sit sort of clunkily on your ears.
You don’t tell Matt, though, not at first.
You know how bad it is, to not even tell your blind crush that you have hearing aids. But you’re embarrassed. It makes you sound like an old person even though you’re in your twenties.
But when Matt crawls into your window late at night, bleeding, you don’t even flinch as he crashes onto your floor behind you. You’re reading, your hearing aids out, and he’s unsure why you can’t hear him. Your heartbeat had no reaction, it’s like you don’t even realize he’s there.
He taps you on your shoulder and you turn quickly, and gasp, before starting to sign at him. Even in his disoriented state, he knows you’re doing something with your hands and moving your mouth. At first, he thinks that he might have stuff clogging his ears, but then he realizes you’re signing, probably because you think Daredevil isn’t blind.
He takes off his helmet.
“Matt?” You say, and it comes out a little louder than it should, because you can’t hear yourself to gage how loud you’re being.
He says something, and your gaze focuses on his mouth, where you can barely make out what he’s saying.
“I can’t hear you.” You say, softer now. You reach over to your bedside table and put your hearing aids on. By the time you look back, Matt has passed out on the ground. Oh fuck.
You get your first aid kit and begin to work on his wounds. When you’re done, you pull him onto your couch, now stained with his blood, and watch as he sleeps. Blood covers your hands, and you listen to him breathing.
When he wakes up that morning, you’re asleep on the couch, and when you feel him start to stir. You grab your hearing aids, and turn them on, before watching him wake.
He says your name softly, and you take his hand in yours.
“Hey.. You.. You’re Daredevil...”
“You’re deaf.”
“Hard of hearing. Not fully deaf, just… My right ear is a lot better than my left, but without my hearing aids I’m close to deaf, yeah…”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were Daredevil?”
“I was scared. Scared that… That you would view me differently, scared that you wouldn’t like me as much.”
“I was scared too..”
“When did you start losing your hearing?”
“In college. I realized it when I went home for Thanksgiving, and then it got worse from there..” You tell him. A hand reaches out to your face, and you lean into it, letting your cheek rest in his palm. His fingers trail up towards your ear and gently run his fingers over your hearing aid.
“Thanks for stitching me up.” He says softly.
“No problem.”
“The hearing aid does explain the buzzing I always hear when you’re around.”
“You can hear my hearing aids?”
“Apparently. I can hear a lot of things. I have heightened senses. You use pomegranate shampoo and had red velvet cake for dessert tonight. Your heart is racing.”
Your face flushes.
“I can turn them off if it’s bothering you.”
“How would you hear me, then?” He has a point.
“I just don’t want them to bother you.”
“Don’t offer to hide your disability just to make other people more comfortable.”
You kiss him when he says this, in a careful way. You’re gentle, making sure not to hurt him as you do. He lays there and lets you kiss him, his hands on your face. You realize you had no reason to be scared that Matt might reject you for your disability, because he is the only person in your everyday life who really gets how it is to have a disability that affects all aspects of your life.
You trace the healed scars on his skin as you kiss him gently, careful not to hurt him. You promise that you’ll kiss him more passionately when he isn’t freshly stitched up.
• • •
A few weeks passed after that night. You and Matt start seeing each other more and more as you fall deeper in love. You find it silly that you wasted so many days, afraid of talking to each other and maybe disappointing each other over the fact that you both lack a vital sense.
But Matt never views it that way. You wear hearing aids and it’s perfectly fine because most of the time, you aren’t struggling to hear him and cannot communicate with him, and he can’t see when you can’t hear him.
Instead, Matt loves that he can hear your hearing aids buzzing softly because it always alerts him that you’re there. He can hear your heartbeat and smell you, too, but it’s not quite the same as this soft little buzzing that reminds him often of a bee.
Except for this one day.
You slept over at Matt’s on a Thursday and really, you should have known better. You knew your hearing aids were going to need a battery change soon, but you’ve been so busy with work and with Matt, and worrying about him at night, that you’re tired. So tired that you forget to pick up batteries before your hearing aids die.
You sneak out of Matt’s apartment early, sending him a text that you needed to go get changed before work. Really, you want to avoid the fact that you wouldn’t be able to hear him. But he didn’t respond to your message. You decide that you don’t care at this moment and head out to work, debating the right way to tell your coworkers about your predicament.
When you get to work, Foggy is immediately talking to you, and you are tense.
“Foggy—” He’s not stopping. It sounds like he’s mumbling, and there’s this ringing in your ears. “Foggy, I can’t hear you.” He finally looks to you, and says something, you make it out to be a phrase of confusion. “My hearing aids died.” You tell him. You’re frustrated, and Matt isn’t in the office yet.
You deem this as a blessing and a curse. Foggy goes to tell Karen what’s going on and as you’re settling down for the day, you get a text. You hope it’s from Matt, but when you see Karen’s name, you falter slightly.
‘Hey! Foggy told me what was going on. We’ll have your calls redirected to one of us and you can spend the day doing housekeeping and paperwork.’
‘Thanks’, You respond, “Sorry about all this. I’m usually on top of my battery life.”
“Don’t worry about it. These things happen.”
“Still, thanks. Did you hear from Matt at all?”
“No, he probably just slept in late. He should be in soon.”
You try to ignore your anxieties over his absence even though you know that when he does come into the office, you’ll have to struggle to communicate with him all day.
So, for the first hour or so of your day, you try to get some work done but there’s a light ringing in your ears that’s getting worse and worse as you attempt to try and focus on other things. Everything sounds so muffled. You’re so focused that your teeth grind against each other, your muscles tense, as you attempt to try and block out the ringing in your ears.
You have a feeling that by the time you leave today, those hot frustrated tears will be threatening to pour once more.
You don’t hear Matt as he steps into your office and stands by your left side, where you’re almost completely deaf. He stands there for about ten minutes, trying to get your attention before he realizes the light buzzing of your hearing aids are not there.
You must not have them in.
So his hands find your shoulders gently, and instead of tensing, you actually relax under his touch, because you realize that it has to be Matt. A slight turning of your head confirms it and you lean into his touch.
Neither of you say much for a while, deciding to let your frustration slowly dissipate as you lean into his warm hands. They stay on your shoulders and upper arms, rubbing gentle patterns into your skin.
After a good ten minutes of this, his body shifts to your right side and he leans down, before speaking at full volume, maybe even a little louder, just to make sure you can hear him. It still sounds like he’s mumbling, but you can hear him.
“Forgot your hearing aids?”
“Batteries died.” You tell him. “You never answered me.”
“My phone died. I forgot my charger, too.. Are you gonna be okay to work all day?”
“Mhm..” You smile softly, “You’re gonna have to help answer calls, though.”
He kisses your cheek, and you lean into the warmth.
“Anything for you, sweetheart.” He says, a soft smile on his face.
The day goes by pretty much as you expect it. You spend it doing paperwork and dodging phone calls, your tinnitus gets worse as the day goes on. By the time the day is finally winding down, Karen sends you one final text.
“Matt’s staying a little late to catch up on some work. Want me to walk you home?”
“No, I’ll be fine. Thank you.”
You realize that because she and Foggy are heading home, you’ll be able to sit with Matt, maybe get a little bit of peace. You’re thankful, too, because you’re about to lose your mind over all of this. The ringing is just getting to be too much.
You wait a few minutes after Foggy and Karen head home before you go into Matt’s office. He smiles at you and gestures for you to come in, and you do. You lean against his desk, as he speaks loud enough now that you can hear him.
“I’ll just be a few more minutes, Bee.” Even the soft-spoken nickname doesn't get you out of your funk, too busy wanting to get on your hands and knees and beg God for your hearing back.
That doesn’t usually happen, but every once in a while you ask him for a normal life.
God sends you a blind man as your soulmate, because he must think that the whole thing is quite funny.
“Okay…”
You feel hot tears pooling in your eyes as you bite your tongue and dig your fingernails into your skin. You almost draw blood.
“What’s wrong?” He can tell that something is wrong. He can always tell, and you’re foolish to think anything less of him, and even more foolish to forget his super senses. A part of you bites back a bitter feeling, since you wish you could’ve had super smell, super sight, super taste, anything in exchange for your hearing. You were not given an exchange, only forced to give, with nothing in there for you.
You forget that your boyfriend has super senses and can taste and smell your salty tears and blood in the air. Damn him.
“Loud… Ringing in my ears, my tinnitus is always really bad when I don’t use my hearing aids for a while..” You say softly. “It’s just.. it really hurts...” You confess, tears slipping down your face.
“Sweetheart..” He takes off his glasses and rests them on the desk in front of him. “C’mere..” You can’t hear that last part, but the way he opens his arms gives you the hint.
You sit on his lap, burying your face in the crook of his neck with a shaky sigh. You feel the thumps of his heartbeat and hold onto it, the ringing in your ears slightly muffled by his skin. It doesn’t fix the problem, but it helps.
His hands linger on your body, gentle caresses of your knee or thigh happening here and there. He just wants you to know he’s there, in the same way he desires when everything becomes too much for him.
“”m sorry..” you say gently, and he just hushes you softly, kissing your head. He traces patterns into your skin. He traces words into it as well.
L-O-V-E.
S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T
He traces your name, his, and your last names.
You kiss him softly, realizing that you might never be 100% okay with your hearing, but Matt will help. He’ll understand. He loves you, and it’s enough to be confident in your future again.
You spend only a few minutes more in the office before you decide to head home, his hand never leaving yours.
You make it back to his apartment and Matt plugs his phone in in case you need to text him and get his attention. You wind up stealing a pair of sweatpants, a tee shirt, and a pair of fuzzy socks. The two of you wind up tangled together on his couch.
Your ear is pressed against his chest as he gently caresses your skin, occasionally moving your hair from your face. He mumbles sweet nothings, and while you can’t hear them, you feel the rumbling vibrations in his chest, and you relish in them. You bathe in the feeling of his heartbeat thumping against his skin.
You fall asleep like this, with Matt touching you and talking in this low tone to make sure you can feel the vibrations of his voice in his chest and in his throat. It’s enough just knowing he’s there. That this thing you thought would deem you unlovable is no match for Matt Murdock, who on your wedding day will throw up the sign for ‘I love you’ in ASL.
For Matt Murdock, who, when you’re taken for loving the devil, will find you and take you into his arms and kiss you so that you know he’s real.
For Matt Murdock, who touches you in all the right ways so you can hear the sounds of your own pleasure.
For Matt Murdock, who will gently trace patterns into your skin when you need to be grounded. For Matt Murdock, who feels himself slipping further and further in love with you and finds himself searching for the soft buzz of your hearing aids when you walk into the room.
#matt murdock#matt murdock fic#matt murdock fluff#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock x you#matt murdock x y/n#matt murodock hurt/comfort#matt murdock angst#matt murdock imagine#daredevil fic#daredevil x reader#daredevil fanfiction#hoh!reader#hard of hearing!reader#deaf!reader#self indulgent
781 notes
·
View notes
Photo
"My downfall was when I first got a Kindle. I went straight to the self-published stuff the authors were selling for nothing. A lot of it was Romance. I read stuff my eleven-year-old self should not have been reading. But my favorite was called The ABCs of Kissing Boys. I read it multiple times. It’s about a girl who’s never been kissed. She falls in love with the next-door neighbor. She’d grown up with him. But one day she looked up, and he was different. And he was there. It gave me hope. I’d never been one who was sought after. I’d get these big, all-encompassing crushes. And they’d always just devastate me. But when I read these books, it was like: I can be her. It can happen. I fell in love with Romance. I even wrote my college thesis on it. There are a few rules every Romance must follow. Rule number one: it has to be about the romance. The book could be set in outer space. But it’s not about space exploration. It’s about two people who fall in love. Toward the end there will always be some sort of fight, or miscommunication. That’s the thrill of it. But it’s also the hardest part to do successfully. Because in the back of their mind, the reader knows. Rule number two: every Romance has a happy ending. Right now I’m still in my first act. A small-town girl moves to New York. She hasn’t found her dream job yet at a Romance publisher. But she’s working at an academic publisher, so she’s in the solar system. On weekends she works at a bookstore called Books Are Magic. Maybe one day, somebody will walk in. Boy, girl, doesn’t matter. They’ll buy her favorite book. Then they’ll keep coming back to buy the books she recommends. She’ll become the first person they text whenever they want to chat. She loves Corgis. So whenever they see a Corgi, they’ll text her a picture. There will be fights. Because this girl has never been able to stand up for herself. But she’ll feel safe with them, so she’ll stand up for herself. She won’t be made fun of. Or judged. She can say the most inane things. Every time she finishes a book, she can talk about it for hours. And they’ll be charmed. They’ll never say: ‘My God. It’s the same plot over and over.’”
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Six of Crows Russian Edition
Today I found this gorgeous gem at the bookstore!
So a few years ago I moved overseas to live in a Russian speaking country. I am not in Russia, for the record. The national language here is not Russian, but it is commonly spoken in my city.
Today at the bookstore I looked for a copy of Crooked Kingdom for the cast of Shadow and Bone to sign this May when I go to A Storm of Shadows and Crows convention in Paris. I don't own a copy of SOC or KC in English and there's no chance of finding one where I live. The next best option was getting a book in the local language and calling it a souvenir of my time abroad. To my delight I found this lovely Russian edition of Six of Crows!
More stunning artwork below.
There were multiple versions of the books to choose from. The original art and the Netflix artwork were available too. The most impressive part was finding copies of the original covers WITHOUT the Netflix sticker. (Haha, suck it Netflix.) To the right, not pictured were King of Scars and Rule of Wolves.
I've never seen this cover variation before. It was an exciting find!
The Russian version I bought is illustrated by (I assume Russian?) artist Eva Eller.
I didn't see a copy of Crooked Kingdom with illustrations by the same artist at this bookstore, but it must exist. Mine was the last copy of SOC with the Russian artwork. Maybe it was sold out?
Google Translate titles the book Six of Ravens, lol. But that's just a translation error because a little google-foo showed that ворона (pronounced vorona) means crow. Interestingly, while typing the title, I learned that вор (pronounced vor) means thief. Interesting how similar the words crow and thief are in Russian. Checks out.
Above is the art printed on the side of the pages. Love how it still includes the side of the pages colored, just like the original books.
The hardcover underneath the jacket is a crow. It's not the same as pictured on the original CK cover, but it is similar. Love the messy, broken, bent feathers, yet the crow is still able to fly. Metaphor for our six characters? Absolutely!
The book was wrapped in cellophane so I didn't realize there was even more art inside! Here is the inner cover. IT'S BEAUTIFUL! The back is the same. It captures the foggy haze of Ketterdam so well.
The flaps of the book jacket are images from the inner cover. But there's a cracked texture over them that gives it a gorgeous grittiness.
The candle is the left side of the inner book jacket. Sorry the image isn't flat, I didn't want to damage the jacket by straightening it out.
The right side of the book jacket shows all the Crows!
Let's appreciate how Matthias looks snow pale and serious. Inej is taller than Nina -- she must be standing on a step stool. No clue why both of their eyes are closed, especially when Nina is the one pointing to the paper. They are lovely. Kaz has on his scheming face. Jesper is as handsome as every version of him should be. And Wylan looks bored AF because A.) he's already memorized the map he drew or B.) he can't read whatever document Kaz has in front of them. Wait, no, Wylan is making heart eyes at Jesper. All of the above can be true.
Inside is a small illustration at the beginning of each chapter, which changes with each section.
You can also see the Crow's names written in Cyrillic. Inej, Kaz, Nina, and Matthias translate easily. Jesper uses the д (letter D) and ж (pronounced like zhe) letter combination that makes his name sound like Zhesper since there is no J in Cyrillic. It's worth pointing out (again) that Wylan's name does not translate perfectly. There is no W in the Cyrillic alphabet. (As someone who also has a W in their name, I sympathize with Wylan here.) I'm no expert in Russian, but I'm pretty sure -- with the help of google translate -- that Wylan is pronounced as Oo-ai-len. Poor boy can't catch a break.
Each of the five section of the book use different chapter art. They all do an excellent job capturing the atmosphere.
The paper is so thin that you can easily see the printing on the opposite side. Not ideal for an edition that's otherwise this lovely. Oh well.
Given that Ravka is fantasy Russia, it's not a surprise to find the Grisha Verse books in Russian.
I am so excited to bring this book to Paris for the cast to sign!
264 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝑩𝒂𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒆 𝑫𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑺𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐭
⤷ human female, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!
Warnings: spoilers!!! Talks of the real world and real world problems, trauma talks.
a/n: Reader is a massive Barbie fan, but like every woman she's had to put away her toys and grow up.
ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ
𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿
・It was a surprise for both of you; a very sudden surprise.
・Barbie had been in the human world for about a month when she ran into you.
・She had ventured out on her own, with a phone in her bag and some money that Mattel had given her (she got an allowance to basically keep her mouth shut about the whole Barbie Land thing)
・And she was staying at Gloria's, who had become quite protective over her.
・You were carrying a pile of books you had bought at the bookstore, and they fell on the ground as you collided with someone.
・Pages flapped in the wind, and you just hoped they didn't land into anything ... weird. This was California after all.
・Barbie was so startled, "I'm so so sorry!" She kept saying, over and over again, helping you stack them back up.
"It's okay, really, I thought I could make it to my car without an accident - looks like I was wrong."
"No, you were doing a great job! The accident is all my fault-" she said.
・Finally looking up at her, you became mesmerised.
・She had to be one of the most beautiful beings you had ever seen in your life.
・And words completely left you.
・You felt a hot blush creep up the back of your neck and spread across your face.
"Oh, your face!" She said, not realising that it was a blush. And blushes were normal things. (She was still learning.)
・Her noticing just made it worse, and words were no longer able to form. Only these weird sounds...
・And then you just scooped up whatever you could and ran to your car, hoping this wasn't a stupid tik tok joke or something.
・While in your car, you had to turn on the air con on full blast. Closing your eyes, you tried your best to shake off the encounter.
"It's fine," you said out loud. "I'm never going to see her again. So, it's fine."
・The drive back home was silent, except for in your head...
・You kept thinking of all the things you should have done differently.
・Finally making it home, you took your stuff inside and walked to your room, chucking everything on the floor, you fell face first into your bed. And screamed.
・It had been two hours later when you heard a knock at the door
・Clad in your pyjamas, you contemplated about just ignoring the person.
・But the knocking was insistent, and it didn't stop.
"Who the fuck knocks like that?" You said with half a biscuit in your mouth.
・Shuffling to the door, you opened it to find your blush-shamer.
"Oh," you said and all the thoughts evaporated from your mind. Was this the worst day ever? You knew this was the fucking worst scenario because you told yourself you'd never have to see her again.
"Hi! You left this behind," the blonde said and gave you your purse.
"Oh shit, thank you," you replied (after swallowing the food that was in your mouth.)
"Shit? Did I do something wrong?" (Barbie had only heard swear words used in negative contexts. Sasha hadn't taught her they could be used ... in different ways.)
"Uh, no. Oh, do you not like swearing?" You said with squinted eyes, sure she was taking the piss.
"I don't know. We didn't swear in Barbi- in ... where I used to live," Barbie thought it was a great save.
"Ugh, I get it- you used to live down South. You don't sound Southern though?" You said with a cocked head, trying to figure this out. Because this was definitely being filmed for tik tok. (And you weren't going to look a fool)
"I have to go now. Bye!" She said quickly and ran away, her blonde hair flying behind her.
・And then you stuck up both your middle fingers in every direction, flipping off all the hidden cameras.
・You turned on the tv and sat down, the blonde woman still in your head.
・She seemed so off.
・Getting up, you went over to your purse and found that nothing was missing. And there was a note.
"Huh, thought the cash would be gone..."
・But in fluid letters, your heart pumped as you read the note:
Sorry for bumping into you. Maybe we can be friends! This is my number, (insert number here - I don't want to accidentally type a real one)
From,
Barbie
・Your heart fluttered and the blush returned.
・And you thought, 'Barbie? Oh, she's definitely Southern....'
・But you looked at the number and put it into your phone. You typed and hesitated before sending the message. Hoping this wasn't part 2 of the tik tok.
・Or maybe you were on social media too much... either way, you pressed send:
Hope you got home okay, don't apologise! And thank you for returning my purse. And not stealing my money
From,
Y/N.
#witchthewriter#headcanons#barbie x reader#barbie 2023 headcanons#barbie headcanons#barbie 2023#barbie#barbie x you#barbie x female reader#lgbtqiia+#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#pansexual#bisexual#lesbian#pink#barbie series#how you met#dating series#barbie dating series#witch the writer#witch the writer's headcanons
255 notes
·
View notes
Text
Story Event: Dark (What) If ~ Who are you in this twisted fairytale world? ~
Prologue
Kate is a very dutiful girl. Isekai'd into into a twisted reality, and all she thinks about is doing her job. 😂🤧
~~~
London, the glittering and prosperous capital of the United Kingdom under the reign of Her Majesty the Queen Victoria.
I was an ordinary citizen working to deliver mail in this city.
As such, I struggled to support my favourite past-time, a theatre, and afford tickets to plays I wanted to see.
(All right, all deliveries are done for today)
(A little more, and I can finally buy tickets for the next show...)
Kate: "I'm back."
Director: "Kate! Just when I need you... or maybe not, the streets are too dangerous at night..."
Kate: "What's going on?"
Director: "Well, there's an opening for nighttime deliveries, with us being short-staffed and all."
(That's it!)
Kate: "Please, allow me to take them."
~~~
After accepting the task, I found myself walking through the dimly lit residential areas.
(All that's left to do is delivering a letter to the bookshop manager)
(Oh, 'Kingsley Books'... here it is!)
Kate: "Excuse me, I'm working for the post office. I'm looking for the manager..."
(There's no one here. I guess I'll have to come back tomorrow... huh, what a place 👀)
I picked up a book that casually landed at my feet.
As if drawn to it, I opened the untitled tome.
Kate: "Gah...!"
The sudden gust of wind, then a blinding light enveloped me...
~~~
Beautiful longhaired man: "Welcome to the twisted fairytale world..."
Beautiful longhaired man: "A visitor... how marvellous!"
Ahead of me, a beautiful, long-haired figure awaited.
Kate: "...I was at the bookstore just now... and then..."
I had no idea where I was, nor who was the person in front of me.
All I knew was that this was not the bookshop I stepped into, and I still had work left to do.
Kate: "Umm, I'm in the middle of a delivery, so I'd like to go back to 'Kingsley Books' if possible."
Beautiful longhaired man: "That might be a smidge difficult."
Kate: "Eh?"
Beautiful longhaired man: "More precisely, I have no clue how to send you back."
The man, who introduced himself as Victor, smiled and proceeded with an explanation, trying to soothe my confused mind.
It transpired that the place I found myself in existed between two worlds, the world of the living and the fairytale world.
Kate: "......a fairytale world?"
Victor: "You must have been led here by the untitled tome. Don't you remember?"
Kate: "Indeed I was. Does this mean I got lost in a book?"
Victor: "That's right. You're a smart girl, quick on the uptake."
(I never thought that the adaptability I developed working for the post would be put to use in a place like this)
Kate: "But you... Victor, you mentioned earlier a 'twisted fairytale world'."
Victor: "Alice in Wonderland, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty..."
Victor: "Most fairy tales in the world have a fixed plot and normally lead to a happy ending."*
Victor: "However, the fairy tale world is currently in a state where the plot of the story has gone awry, chaos has reached its peak, and the endings are far from happy."
Kate: "...... How is that possible?"
Victor: "That's because... each fairytale is missing something."
Kate: "Missing something... What might it be?"
Victor: "I don't know that either."
Victor: "I suspect you've been brought here to find out."
(......... huh, then)
Kate: "When the missing piece is found, the distortion of the fairy tale world should be fixed, and the story will lead to a happy ending."
Kate: "My job in here will be done..."
Victor: "And you might be able to go back to your world, to reality."
(If that's my only chance, I might as well try)
(I'll find what's missing in this twisted fairytale world and correct the distortion. Then lead it to a happy ending with my own hands)
I was going to go back to my world and continue my delivery.
As I made up my mind, I could hear bells ringing in the distance.
Victor: "Ah, looks like it's time to wake up."
Victor: "Kate, reaching the best ending is now in your hands."
Victor: "...... come, let's send you to the twisted fairytale world."
~~~
*lies 😏 Original (pre disney) fairytales are anything but. Common folk loved dark stuff.
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Wanna Be Yours
Chapter Five
2.4k+ words
Warnings: 18+ ONLY MINORS GO AWAY!! demon!reader, fluff, language, pet names, teasing, dirty talk, cocky Jake, making out, fingering, oral f&m receiving, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, cum play, pegging
It took some time and effort on both your parts, but slowly you and Jake had found your own little routines. You had to take a couple nights a week to find someone to feed on so that you could say you were doing your job, but pretty much any spare second you weren’t doing that or working at the bookstore, you spent with Jake. You both still went to the cat cafe a couple times a week, much to the delight of the baristas there. They were thrilled you’d decided to keep Jake around. The only exceptions being when he has plans with his family or for the band.
“I want you to meet my family.” Jake’s words startle you as neither of you have spoken in at least five minutes, just sitting in a comfortable silence.
“Huh?” You ask, the picture of eloquence.
He huffs a laugh, “You heard me, baby. I want you to meet my family. I want them to know you.”
“Jacob, you want to take a demon home to meet your family?” You ask incredulously. “Do you realize how insane that sounds?”
“Oh whatever, they wouldn’t even know what you are. You’re perfectly charming. Just don’t feed on my brothers and everything will be great.” He quipped.
“Oh, I don’t know, aren’t you and Josh identical twins? I might not be able to resist.” You shot back.
“You think he could make you feel the way I do?” He teased, pulling you in for a kiss and a nip to your bottom lip.
“Hmm, I’ll find out and let you know.” You squeal with laughter when he throws you over his shoulder and carries you to your bedroom before letting you drop onto the mattress. You squealed again when you bounced back up slightly off the bed, and then it got even higher in pitch when Jake climbed over you and started kissing, licking, sucking and biting all over your neck.
“Jaaaaaaaaake.” You groan and try to squirm out of his grip.
“Oh, ‘Jake’, huh? What happened to Josh, hmm?” He said with a smirk.
“Maybe you should call him, I bet he’d already have me naked.” You shrug casually, making him let out a little growl.
“My brother could never make you cum like I do. You’d be calling me up, begging me to come finish the job.” He whispers lowly in your ear, making you shiver. You liked when he got a little cocky, the main reason why you enjoyed working him up so much.
“Yeah? Maybe you should remind me.” You pull him down by his hair for a kiss, basically smashing your lips to his and pushing your hips up into his to feel him starting to harden under his clothes.
“With my hands free? Oh baby, you’re in for it.” He roughly bites your bottom lip before soothing over it with his tongue, starting to just barely glide his fingers over your skin. He pulls your shirt over your head and pauses to suck a mark onto the skin of your breast before trailing his tongue down to the waist of your leggings. You hum at the feeling of his mouth on you, allowing him to pull your leggings and panties down together in one harsh tug.
He runs a single finger through your wetness before trailing up to rub slow circles into your clit. You cry out at the feeling, making him chuckle quietly. “You think you’d be this wet for anyone else? No, baby. You know that pretty pussy belongs to me. I make her feel so good.” He finishes his sentence by letting one finger slip inside you, making you whine and clench around his finger.
“See, she’s already squeezin me so tight. I know what you need, angel.” He slips another finger into your entrance, curling them up inside you and making your back arch off the bed. “There she is. That’s my good girl.” You moan loudly, tangling your fingers in his dark hair as he ducks down to press a kiss over your clit before swirling his tongue around it, continuing to pump and curl his fingers inside of you. “Does it feel good, baby? You like having my fingers and my tongue at the same time?” And then he sucks your throbbing clit into his warm mouth, sucking and flicking his tongue around it.
“Yes, Jake, yes, I fucking love it. You’re so good for me, you’re so good. Don’t stop, please don’t stop baby.” You almost sob as he speeds up his movements, making you clench and flutter around his fingers as his tongue continues its assault on your clit.
“I’m not gonna stop, angel. Not until you fucking beg me to.” And with that he returns his mouth to you. You start rocking your hips up into his face, unable to resist. He just feels too fucking good. “That’s it baby, fuck my face. Take what you need, greedy little thing. You know I love that shit.” He backs away from your heat just long enough to speak between panting breaths before diving back in, delivering sharp pointed flicks of his tongue over your sensitive clit, never letting up on his fingers mercilessly pounding into you.
“Jaaaake, fuck, how are you so fucking good at that? Oh my god, I’m so close so close so- FUCK!” You cut yourself off with a cry as your orgasm washes over you, leaving you panting and writhing under him. He slows his movements once you start to come down but doesn’t stop them altogether.
“Jake, it’s too much- too sensitive- fuck, baby.” You sob out as he speeds back up, sucking your clit into his mouth just right.
“You’re gonna give me one more, sweet girl. I know you can, you’re so close already. I can feel it, just give it up. I fucking want it.” He growls against your skin before diving back in, devouring you like you’re his last meal. He runs the thumb of his other hand through the slick mess created by your arousal and his saliva before circling it around your ass, sliding in just the tip of it.
You let out a wail as the mix of sensations overwhelms your senses completely and throws you into your second orgasm. Your vision goes white and you can’t hear anything for a minute, not even sure if you’re making any noise as you come undone, soaking his fingers and his face.
Once you’ve come down for the second time he surfaces for air, chest heaving. Your cheeks flush at the sight of his face covered in your slick but he just grins evilly and crawls back up your body to smash your lips together in a bruising kiss. “Didn’t know you could do that. You been holding out on me, angel?” He taunts against your lips.
“You were right- no one else could make me feel like you do.” You giggle, drenched in sweat and panting.
“Oh don’t say that love, you’ll inflate my ego.”
“Can I taste you, Jakey? Please?” You ask in your sultriest voice, looking up at him with big doe eyes.
“Fuck yeah, angel, please.” At that, you set to work getting him out of his pants. You took a moment to appreciate the dark spot in the front of his boxers where precum had flowed while he was going down on you. It turned you on to no end to know that he truly was getting pleasure from your pleasure.
“Sweet, messy boy. Your pretty cock was just leaking all over the place while you were eating my pussy, hmm?” You coo, yanking his boxers down and taking his painfully hard cock into your hand. You smirk when you feel him twitch in your grip.
“Couldn’t help it mama, you sounded so sweet saying my name like that. I almost came in my fucking pants just from hearing you.” He lets out a strangled moan when you take his cock all the way to the back of your throat in one smooth move. You swallow around his length a couple times to hear him whine before pulling back off of him with a soft ‘pop’.
“You taste so sweet, Jakey. Here, taste.” You swipe up some of his precum on your thumb before sliding it between his lips to suck.
“Are you gonna fuck me now?” He whispers once you free his lips.
“Aw, you want my cock, baby?” You coo and he nods eagerly. “Okay Jakey, get comfy for me and I’ll get everything we need.” You leave him with a kiss on his sweaty forehead. You find the lube from where you had tossed it aside after the last use, then grab the silicone cock and the harness to strap it to you.
Making your way back over to him, you set everything down on the bed and settle yourself between his thighs, placing sweet kisses all up and down them. “I love these thighs, baby. Especially when I get to be between them. You’re fucking delicious, did you know that?” You lick a stripe up the underside of his cock making him shudder.
You coat two fingers in the lube and gently stroke over his entrance a few times before slipping one of them inside him. “I love being inside you, Jake. You’re so fucking tight and warm and you make the prettiest sounds for me.” You start slowly pumping your finger in and out, starting to stroke him slowly with your other hand.
“How’s that feel, baby? Talk to me.” You murmur softly as you start curling your finger up inside him, searching for that special spot by memory. He lets out a whine when your fingertip brushes over it, his hand coming down to grip your wrist and keep you there.
“Feels so good mama, fuck. Please, I need more.” He whimpers out.
You pull your finger out of him long enough to replace it with two, immediately curling up into that spot again. You pump your two fingers in and out of him, brushing that spot on every stroke. Your other hand working his cock speeds up just slightly when you look up at him and see his head thrashing around on the pillows.
“What do you need, Jakey? Tell me.”
“I need your cock, mama, please- fucking please, I need it.” He practically sobs.
“Okay, honey, let me stretch you just a little more, okay? One more finger and I’ll give you what you want.” You soothe, slipping a third finger inside him. You feel him clench around them as a loud moan rips from his chest.
“There it is baby, good boy. Are you ready for me?” You ask after slipping your three fingers in and out for a few minutes to let him adjust.
“Please!” He wails. You smile with pride up at him, removing your fingers and starting to strap your silicone cock to your body. Once it’s secure you start coating the silicone with lube, Jake’s chest heaving with his panting breaths.
“Okay baby, you’ve been such a good boy for me. I’m gonna go slow and don’t forget, just say red if you want to stop or you need a break.” You press your lips to his as you push just the tip of the strap inside him, making his back arch and a little moan fall from his lips against yours.
You slowly press into him, inch by inch until you’re buried to the hilt. You wait for him to tell you he’s ready for you to move. At his okay, you slowly back out of him almost all the way before pushing back in, angling your hips in search of that spot that makes him sing for you.
His back arches off the bed and a near shout tears from him when you find it. “Is that the spot, Jakey? Right here?” You tease, rocking your hips against that spot.
“Yes, yes, fuck! Your cock feels so fucking good mama, I’m so close, please make me cum. I need it so fucking bad.” Desperate tears are flowing down his cheeks now.
You squirt a tiny bit more lube in one hand before bringing it down to his cock, stroking him roughly in time with your hips smacking against the back of his thighs.
“Cum for me Jakey, make a mess baby. You look so pretty taking my cock. Be a good boy and cum for me.” You feel him throbbing and twitching wildly in your grip. He screams out as you see the first rope of his cum spurt out onto his belly. He’s babbling nonsense while you fuck him through it, you gently whispering sweet praises to him as the rest of his load pools on his lower belly and some of it flows into your hand.
You wait for his eyes to open to bring your hand up to your lips, lapping up some of his release off your skin. He whimpers at the sight. “Did you want some too, baby?” You coo, bringing your hand to his lips this time. He laps the rest of his cum off your skin with a quiet moan, looking entirely fucked out and exhausted.
“I’m gonna pull out now, okay baby? You wait here and I’ll start the shower for us.” You give him a sweet kiss before slowly pulling out of him, making him let out a quiet whine at the feeling of being empty. “You did so good for me Jakey, so so good.”
Once the shower is running you make your way back to Jake’s side, helping him stand up and letting him lean on you when his legs felt a little unsteady. You help him into the shower before joining him, quickly washing off the both of you then drying off and helping him back to the bed.
“You really don’t want to meet my family?” He asks quietly once you’re both settled in bed, legs tangled together and his head on your chest.
“I do, baby. They’re important to you so they’re important to me. I just wanted you to be sure of it, ya know, because of… what I am.”
“You mean it? You’ll go?” He asks excitedly.
“Yeah Jakey, you’ve worn me down. Whatever you want.” You kiss the top of his head, breathing in his scent.
“Thank you, thank you, I love you!!!” He giggles, kissing all over your face. You’d discussed the fact that you had both fallen for each other, but neither of you had said those specific words yet.
You felt tears pricking at your eyes as you gaze into his, “I love you, too, baby. I love you.”
Tags: @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka @gracev0609 @clairesjointshurt
#jtk x reader#jtk x demon!reader#jtk smut#jtk fluff#jake kiszka fanfic#jake kiszka#gvf smut#greta van smut#gvf fluff
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Last Minute Customer
Summary; Beau Arlen x Reader -> When you’re closing up the store for the evening, you have one final customer.
Warning; Pure fluffy fluff, books, bookstore and snow.
Snow had been constantly falling for the last 6 weeks. At first, it was light and melted almost as fast as it had come. But now it was 3ft high and sent everyone into a tizzy over being able to walk.
Why you hadn't moved out of Montana by now, you didn't know. You could have gone anywhere. California, maybe? New York? Perhaps Seattle.
But no. You had decided to stay in Montana, open up a small bookstore in Helena and stick with the snowy winters.
Yet, it was all worth it.
You had been stood behind the counter, having shut early due to the weather. You had been counting your stock making sure you had enough of the popular books in stock in time for the mad-christmas dash.
That was when a knock came to the door.
"Hello?"
Rushing over, you quickly unlocked the door and let the stranger inside. He was covered in snow, his fingertips were turning red and his cheeks were flushed.
"Are you okay? What are you doing out in weather like this?"
"I could ask you the same thing." He smiled. "Sorry if I scared you."
"It's okay. Are you here to buy some books?"
He nodded, dusting off the snow with your help. Only now did you notice his shape. He was broad and tall.
"Actually, I am." He smiled. "Sorry, I should have introduced myself. Beau Arlen."
That's why he looked so familiar.
You had seen him around town every now and then, mostly making his way in and out of the coffee shop across the way, Dewell and Hoyt and some of the local stores.
"Y/N Y/L/N." you smiled back. "So, what exactly is it that you're looking for?"
"I don't know."
Your eyebrows knitted together for a moment before he pulled a piece of paper from the back of his jeans and handed it over to you.
"My daughter...she wrote me a list."
You took the list from his hands and opened it up. There was some good titles on it.
Emma, by Jane Austen.
A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens.
Sherlock Holmes, Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Dr Suess, Chronicles of Narnia.
"I think we have some of these in stock. I'll check in the back for the others."
"Thank you."
"I've still got the fire going if you want to warm yourself up." You offered, pointing over towards the two leather sofa's that sat paralle to one another beside the fire.
"Is it safe to have a fire in a bookstore?"
"The fireplace has been there since the place was first built. I only put it on in desperate conditions." You turned back with a small smile before disappearing into the back of the store to look for some of the less commonly stocked books.
Pretty much most of them you managed to find on the shelves, Beau helping.
"Whoa." You said aloud as the rolling stairs went a little further than anticipated.
"You okay?"
"Yeah."
"You want me to hold it still?"
You nodded. "If you don't mind."
You managed to reach the top of the bookshelves for the extra boxes, finally finding the last copy of A Christmas Carol.
"I'm usually banned from using this ladder." You told Beau. "Last time I was on it, I slipped from the fourth step and twisted my ankle."
Slowly, you climbed back down. Only, once you made it to the half way mark, you felt Beau's hands hold onto the back of your legs. They hovered just far enough from your skin to help you down but be close enough to catch you if you fell.
And it was a good job because just before you hit the bottom, your foot missed the step, sending you sliding down.
Thankfully, Beau took your waist into his hands and helped you safely to your feet.
"Thanks."
Beau smiled down, letting go of you once he knew you were okay. "You should probably get some safer ladders."
You smiled. "That's not the first time someone has told me that."
Beau gave you another smile and you found your words faltering in your mouth.
"Um," you stepped back and handed over the book. "Here you are. Is that everything? Not got another list in your back pocket, have you?"
Beau looked down with a soft chuckle. "No, not this time."
You rung up his order, asking if he'd like for them to be gift wrapped. "No, that's okay. Em's having me wrap them with her at home. She says I need the practice."
"It can't be that bad, surely."
Beau smiled and leaned onto the counter. "Whatever you're imagining, it's worse than that."
"Well, nothing can be worse than my parent's wrapping." You told him. "One year they just handed me a gift in a plastic bag with an upside down bow."
"What was it?"
"The gift? A vintage camera and record player." You smiled. "There up over there."
You pointed over towards the large wooden unit beside the fireplace.
"Did you take these photos?" Beau asked, looking to the postcards beside the register.
You smiled shyly. "I got bored one day and decided to go for a walk. There is a beautiful place by this canyon. There's a lake that runs just below it."
Beau studied the photo a little better. It seemed very familiar.
"Do you fish?"
"Sorry?"
You smiled, continuing to bag up the books. "I asked, do you fish? It's a good fishing spot if you ever wanted to try."
Beau clicked his fingers. "That's why I recognise it."
"Have you ever been on the hiking trail above it?" You asked.
"No, I- Uh...I haven't had the chance."
"Maybe, if you'd like, I could show you?"
Beau looked up and for a moment, he didn't know what you were asking. But the moment he did, he smiled, bowed his head to try and hide the texan blush on his cheeks, and nodded.
Finally he looked back up; "I'd like that."
"It might be a bit cold, but it's beautiful in the snow."
Beau smiled. "I'm sure it is."
"How about Saturday? If there's no big snow blizzard."
Beau nodded, paying his cash and picking up the bag of books from the counter. "Saturday it is."
Turning back around towards the door, Beau looked out to the snow.
"How long have you got left on your shift?"
You looked up to him, taping some boxes up. "Not long. Maybe about 10 minutes? Why?"
"Would you...would you like me to drive you home? With this snow and everything...I mean...what kind of Sheriff would I be if I let a citizen nearly die because of frost bite?"
You gave him a light smile and nodded. "That would be nice. Thank you."
Eventually, you closed the shop and followed him to his car. “So? How long have you been in Montana?”
“All my life,” you answered. “Mostly. I mean, I left to go to College but...I came back.”
“And the bookstore?”
You smiled as you explained the story to him on the way to your home. “It was something I always wanted to do. As a kid I had a vision board for my life - yes, I was that kid.” Beau smiled. “Anyway, I used to dream of owning my own bookstore and seeing kids like me find that place where they can go and just...be them. Pick up a book and...find another world. What about you? What made you want to be a Sheriff?”
“My dad,” Beau began. “We use to watch all these old westerns and he used to tell me all these cool stories of what he had done that day at work. About the people he helped.”
“He was your hero?”
Beau nodded and smiled. “Yeah.”
Finally, Beau pulled up outside of your home and you unbuckled your seat-belt. “I guess I’ll see you on Saturday?”
“I guess you will.” Beau smiled.
He waited until you unlocked your door and walked inside before he pulled away.
Maybe it was a good thing you stayed in Montana after all.
#beau arlen#beau arlen x reader#beau arlen x you#big sky#fluff#snow#date#sheriff beau arlen#books#dewell and hoyt#sheriff's department#falling in love#winter#pre-christmas#cute#bookstore romance#jensen ackles#beau arlen x fe!reader#strangers to lover#flirting#strangers to friends to lovers
233 notes
·
View notes
Text
3rd Anniversary Event - A Beast's Dream Fulfilled by Beauty - Clavis
Main route
Many people are gather in the only bookstore in Lelouch Kingdom, something Clavis had set up for Emma, for reading and writing lessons. On one particular day while Emma was giving lessons, a young boy approaches her and tells her of his dream to become a bureaucrat. He had heard that it's a rewarding job with a high salary and makes you popular with the ladies. Of course he heard it from Clavis.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. His breath against Emma's ear causes her to jump.
Emma: Don't do that! You almost made my heart stop.
Clavis: My, that would be terrible. I should do something about it. Most fairytale princesses are cured with a kiss-
Emma: I'm good!
So why is Clavis at the bookstore? Well, wherever his fiancée is, he'll be there too. Though he pouts at how packed the store is. Emma says it's all thanks to him. The bookstore was like a place for people to start on working their way toward achieving their dreams. The boy tells Clavis that he'll become a bureaucrat for sure, so hire him when the time comes. Clavis replies that if the boy becomes someone amusing, he'll consider it. And then adds that he still has a ways to go if he only has one dream to fulfill. YOLO, it'd be a waste just just want to be a bureaucrat. Emma asks Clavis if he has a lot of dreams.
As a child, Clavis dreamt of being the best gentleman on the whole continent. He also thought about being a butler, becoming a chef and opening a restaurant, becoming a doctor, and even the only trap master out there. In the end, they all came true. Emma backs him up on that, well except for the part about becoming a chef.
Clavis: What do you think? I'm pretty amazing, aren't I? Have you fallen for me?
Emma: I've fallen deeply in love. Kyaa, Clavis is so cool.
Clavis: ...
Emma: I really respect you?
It's too embarrassing for Emma to put emotion into it. Clavis laughs as she turns her reddening face away. His tsun-tsun fiancée's as cute as ever.
The boy asks Clavis how he was able to make so many dreams come true. The answer's simple. He then suddenly wraps his arm around Emma's waist and asks the boy he knows (since she wouldn't look at him, he wanted to at least feel her body heat). As Emma protests because they're in public, the boy's like "yeah, yeah, you're in love. So explain." Is Emma the only one flustered here??? Apparently so because everyone else in the store's treating this as something that happens all the time. Emma just settles in his arms.
Clavis tells the boy that he needs to take action now. Need to figure out how to achieve the dream. If he procrastinates on it, it'll just remain a dream. But it's fine to just start off small and build his way up.
Clavis sounds so cool, but why does he look so sad? Hearing his words, the boy resolves to study a lot. Emma's a bit taken aback, but will do her best to help. And may rope Clavis in too since he's here. He agrees to it, for a fee, and finally lets Emma go. Everyone in the store applauds. But Emma can't get that expression on Clavis' face out of her head.
That night, Emma and Clavis are taking a bath together. The former asks if this is the fee for earlier. Yep. It's not often that she takes baths with Clavis. Emma wonders if this is something lovers normally do. She asks him to stop his roaming hands or else she'll overheat. He jokes about taking care of her if she does, but being the gentleman that he is, stops touching her. But now it's a little too quiet for Emma. She asks Clavis if there's something on his mind because he looked sad back at the bookstore. Clavis tells Emma that he was just remembering some things. He still has some dreams that are unfulfilled.
He'd like to:
Wash Emma's hair and body, and make her shine with his own hands
Have a portrait of her done and hang it in the bedroom
Change how they say "good night" to each other. Say "I love you" instead (aishiteru)
Travel the world together
It'll be hard to fulfil these dreams with such a tsun-tsun fiancée, even if she's been more dere-dere recently. Maybe they'll start with the first on the list - Emma turns that down. She'd die of embarrassment. Then how about the portrait? She makes a face but Clavis will get his way eventually. He blows a breath against her ear.
Emma: I told you, no roaming hands!
Clavis: I'm not touching you, though
Emma: No breathing either.
Clavis: You want me to stop breathing?
After much teasing, Emma gives in and agrees to have her portrait done. She mentally prepares herself for tomorrow, still wondering about that sad look.
~~~
Cyril's there to provide moral support as she gets her portrait done. Clavis asks the painter to make sure he gets her shy expression down.
~~~
It's time for the two to say "good night" to each other. Emma asks if they really have to, but Clavis is practically beaming at her. She did say that she'd help achieve his dreams. Emma asks if "I like you a lot" (daisuki) is okay. Nope, he wants the aishiteru. He says it to Emma. The sweetness of the words is too much for her and she hides under the blanket. After calming down a bit, she peeks up at him and stutters the words out. This will be how they say "good night" to each other from now on.
~~~
The two visit Jade, which has a close relationship with Lelouch Kingdom, for personal reasons rather than on official business. Clavis bought Jade's famous "all-purpose iced herbal tea somehow packed with all sorts of benefits" and they relax on a bench in town. As Emma sips on the delicious tea, Clavis tells her about how their teas taste different. Emma asks if him if he wants a taste of hers and holds her glass out to him. In return, he'll let her taste his. Was this the kind of lovey-dovey acts he was talking about wanting to do? While her tea was sweet, his was refreshing.
His dreams are being fulfilled, one by one. But Emma's STILL thinking about that sad look. Emma brings what Clavis had said earlier about making his dreams come true as soon as possible. So why didn't he do these things before? She's not taking his answer about being in the mood. Clavis continues to dodge the question by talking about how good the tea is. Emma just continues to look at him until he surrenders.
Though he has many dreams, there's one that he can't make come true, and it's something that he still worries over.
Sweet + Premium End
39 notes
·
View notes
Note
what u mean struggling!?!! you dumb-dumb go read your own fics back and convince yourself that you'll do an amazing job! i cant wait for part 3 (please let them fuck on the stairs they deserve it)
bitch you don't know my LIFE (jokes, love you, thanks) ive got a very specific spot i need to get these idiots into and its taking me time to figure out a good way to get them there (its not the stairs) (no stair-fucking in this one sorry) (my joey would never)
Wordcount: 3.5K
---
A Lot Like Love
part one - part two - part three - part four - part five
Your friend had trickled little droplets of doubt into your mind. Sprinkled uncertainty into your thoughts like chocolate onto a cake, but less sweet, more bitter. You liked to imagine Joe as just the person that he was when he was in the bookstore. There was no need for you to think of him as anything else, but your friend was right. It did seem like there was a little of a double life situation going on, yet it didn’t feel like he was hiding anything on purpose. Just something you didn’t talk about. Because you didn’t know each other, like Joe had pointed out to you the day before.
You helped a couple of older ladies find books. And then someone came in and asked for something you didn’t have, and you spent a little while looking it up to see if you should get some copies of it in. And then you still had to scan more barcodes into the till. Get more books into the system. And then you made two coffees, because Joe was still there. But then more people came in who didn’t want to look themselves but had immediately asked for your assistance, and whilst Joe got to enjoy his hot beverage from the plush armchair with his mind deep within a story, yours grew cold because you had work to do, and it felt unfair.
Because you wanted to sit with him whilst he was still there.
And the first moment you got, where there didn’t seem an immediate task looming to be done, you took your chance and sat in the chair opposite to Joe.
No book. You didn’t want to read. You wanted to watch him read. And you felt you should be able to openly do so. This was your store. So, you scooted back into the chair far enough for you to prop a leg up that you rested your head on. You could just take a break here for a minute, before the door would open again and there’d be new customers to help.
Joe’s so pretty, you thought.
Joe was pretty, and obviously also very aware that you were staring at him. But he was reading. And he knew the one rule in the store, so he kept reading. You had the image of Joe in a shiny black suit fresh in your mind’s eye. You liked this Joe better. The one that wore these clothes that never seemed to properly fit his form. Frumpy, too big on his frame. And his hair, fluffy. Soft. The scruff on his cheeks. Chin. Neck. Just, messy. No intentional shape to it. Soft features, focused big brown eyes and that mouth that just… You sighed at the look of it. Those lips? Sir.
When Joe turned a page, his eyes glanced up at you once more and he was amused by the sight of you. Your cheekbone was resting on your knee, your head cocked to the side, both arms around your propped up leg and seemingly, you were deep in thought. When you made eye contact, your mouth pursed into a small smile. Joe copied it.
“Don’t you have a bookstore to run?” Joe asked, eyes then back in his book.
“It’s a little unfair,” your eyes didn’t leave Joe’s face.
“What is?”
You sighed. “You know where I work,” you started. “You know where I live.” Joe halted and looked at you for a second before closing his book and crossing his hands over his stomach. His full attention was on you now.
“You know my family,” you continued. “You know Anne… it doesn’t seem very… equal?” you weren’t sure if equal was the right word to use. But you remembered Joe’s arm around that beautiful girl in the picture and you needed to know more about it. Even if it was just to tell your friend that she’d been wrong. Or right. But you hoped wrong, of course.
“Oh, it was never equal.” Joe furrowed his brow at you. It wasn’t the reaction you expected. You weren’t sure what he meant and confusion struck your features.
“You knew who I was the second you saw me.” Joe pointed out, and you were surprised to feel your cheeks flush. Joe was right. You had recognized him instantly when he’d walked into the store that very first time. And it made you blush, which was embarrassing and only made you blush more.
“There’s a lot of information of me, just, out there.” Joe waved his hand around, gesturing at nothing. The point he was making sunk into you. And it was true, you knew he was right. If you wanted to know things about Joe, there were several ways of getting your hands on information that didn’t involve him directly.
“That doesn’t count.”
Because it wasn’t what you meant. You meant that you didn’t know where he lived. What his living space looked like. What he did with his time when he wasn’t in the store, what was inside his fridge, who his friends were, what his mum looked like.
“I think you’ve got the basics down.” Joe scrunched his face at you, one eye closed, as he repeated your words back at you, making your jaw drop. Joe reached for his book, ready to get back into it.
Wow. Okay.
So he wasn’t going to reveal anything else about himself until you were going to? That seemed like a stubborn game to play. But Joe had just reminded you that you had started it yourself, sort of, the other day, in your apartment, over shared bowls of pasta. So, you thought, let’s finish it then too. You had definitely revealed more of yourself to Joe than Joe had revealed of himself to you, and you were about to prove it.
“I cried in front of you.”
“You’ve seen me cry too.” Joe kept his focus in his book, entirely too casual and quick with his comeback.
“On screen.” You added.
“You’ve watched me die.” Joe grew in theatricality, glee thick in his voice.
You had watched him die. But he’d been in character.
“That’s hardly the same, you weren’t in the room with me!”
“Ahh, but you see, I was.”
“On screen! Doesn’t count!”
As you playfully bickered back and forth, you thought back to how you had watched Stranger Things in your bed, in the dark, late at night. Technically Joe had been in your bed with you when you watched him die. You weren’t going to tell him that, though.
“You know exactly everything I know about you. I have no idea what you’ve seen, or read, or have looked up online about me. So much for equality.” Joe stated, now just flipping pages in his book to avoid your eyes.
“That’s not true, actually. I don’t know what my granddad has told you about me.”
“Yes, you do, I told-” Joe started, but you were quick to interrupt him.
“You got me croissants because of something he said.” You smirked, far too competitive for your own good in your need to win this weird game.
Oh. He didn’t know you knew that, and you saw the slight shock in his face. Joe looked at you, then turned to look out the window a second before he sat up in his seat.
“All right. I live in South London.” He spoke as if he had just given you a trivial piece of information about him. Something you could’ve never known. A huge secret leaked. When you didn’t respond to it, he added, “Southeast.”
You slumped your shoulders. “Well, I knew that.”
“See?!” Joe practically shouted. “It was never equal!”
“I read one article! Was in the first sentence!” you laughed. “You know my literal street address!”
“Because you live above the store!”
“You’ve seen me without make-up on!”
“You’ve seen me with!”
“You’re an actor!”
“You’re a bookstore owner!”
“So?!”
You were shouting loudly at each other with joy shooting from your faces. This was borderline not making sense anymore. If anyone was to walk in right now, you weren’t sure if you would be able to greet them in a normal tone of voice.
“So?!” Joe repeated you, then suddenly launched forward and took hold of the armrests of your chair and yanked the whole thing towards him, almost trapping your legs in between. You could pull them up just in time. The chair made an awful noise against the wooden floor, and you had only just managed to hold in a shriek.
“So… come back home with me today.” Joe spoke with a twinkle in his eye, his volume way softer then - sensible inside voice.
“All right!” Your voice was still loud, in the same tone you had used to shout before. It made Joe comically flinch, before doing the same, shouting “All right!” back at you. It had the both of you laughing.
Joe leant forward in his seat and got closer to you, but then waited. You saw his eyes pan down to your lips and you knew what he was waiting for. You closed the gap between the two of you and kissed him square on the mouth. But you felt Joe’s grin as it stayed put – he wasn’t kissing you back, so you used a finger to prod him in the ribs. “You’re so annoying, kiss me!” you moaned, clawing at his shoulders to pull him closer towards you and Joe laughed into your mouth before kissing you back. Your lips collided hard, the kiss firm, almost rough, definitely needy. You hummed in satisfaction. Joe breathed you in and found your hips with his hands to scoot you closer. You opened your mouth, inviting him to kiss you deeper which Joe took advantage of immediately as his arms wrapped around your waist. He pulled you up from your seat and leant back, placing you over his lap as he did. Your knees ended up pushing into the seat of his chair, right beside his thighs. Oh shit, you thought. We’re in the store. In front of the windows. But were you going to be one to stop this? Absolutely not. Joe’s taste was too sweet. His grip too feverish. Your hands found Joe’s hair as your kiss grew in passion, and when you felt Joe groan into your mouth and his hands grab at your ass, your mind filled up with thick fog.
Before the door could even trigger the bell above it, you heard your mother say, “Oh- I’ll come back later!” in a panic.
The cloud of lust immediately dissipated above you as the air sunk, and you quickly broke away from Joe.
“Look who it is,” you locked eyes with Joe, moving back onto your calves, your butt finding the other chair again before turning to find your mother there.
“The lady from the bakery.”
Joe helped you close up shop that day. You had rushed through it, knowing that there were a lot of things you could just do the next day. Locking the door behind you, Joe had grabbed hold of your hand as he’d lead the way to his apartment.
It was such a strange experience to be out with him. In public. Taking the tube. What if people saw? Of course, people would see, you understood people would see, but what would they think? Would they automatically assume that you were a couple? Maybe when you were holding hands, like now. But maybe they wouldn’t if you weren’t. They probably wouldn’t presume anything, you then thought. And why would they? You were just two people on a train in London, like so many others were.
The further away you got from the bookstore, the more foreign Joe somehow felt to you, but there was an excitement bubbling within you. You kind of wanted to see what this other Joe was like. So far, he seemed the same. Boringly so.
“It’s not as nice as yours,” Joe said when he turned the key. “I might have more books though,” he joked, and you huffed a laugh through your nose. With the amount of books Joe had bought from you, you’d easily believe it.
Joe’s flat is unmistakably a man’s apartment. No frill. Little charm. Not much more than necessary furniture pieces and a dying plant in a corner near a window. It doesn’t match Joe the way that your apartment matches you. However, the bookcase in his living room is something else entirely. As you laid your eyes upon it, you couldn’t help but step closer to check out his collection, your coat still on, because this was more important right now. You recognized a lot of them, and you smiled when you found his copy of Blindness. “Have you read all of these?” You were surprised by how many of them he bought from you. All together in a bookcase like this, it was a bit worrying to think of how much money he spent on them. There were other books there too, paperbacks and hardcovers you know you had never had in stock. “Nah,” Joe said, shaking his head. “I’m not much of a reader.” Making you laugh.
Joe cooked for you. Tagliatelle, salmon, spinach- it was fucking great. It almost made you consider cooking proper meals for yourself more often, but you’d never do this justice, not like Joe, you were sure.
You briefly met Joe’s flatmate who walked in, grabbed something from his bedroom and left shortly after. When he had shaken your hand to introduce himself, he had looked at you a little funny, but then said, “I was going to say you look really familiar, but it’s ‘cause I’ve seen your photograph.” revealing that Joe had shown him the one picture he had of you. “Thanks for that, mate. Really helps.” Joe had commented sarcastically and all of you laughed.
After dinner, Joe reached for your plate, but you decided that you’d clean up for the both of you and ordered Joe to stay out of the kitchen. He had cooked a beautiful meal, it felt like the least you could do in return was pile dirty dishes into the dishwasher. It felt strange to move around with forced habitually in a space so unfamiliar to you. But you thought back to Joe, who three seconds into being in your apartment had stuck his head into your fridge, so you stilled the alarm bells that you could faintly hear in your brain. When everything was tidied away, you wiped the counters down and your eye landed on Joe’s coffee machine. You called out to Joe and offered him a coffee, as if it was Joe who was a guest at your house instead of the other way around, making Joe laugh from his spot on the sofa and say, “Yea, sure. We keep coffee in-” “Found it.” You interrupted before he could finish the sentence.
With two coffees in hand, you stepped back into the living room and thought to yourself how Joe didn’t look like Joe. That man sitting on that sofa across the room from you might as well be a complete stranger. But it was Joe, and the closer you got to him, the more his surroundings faded from your vision turning him more into the Joe you knew. It’s this place, you thought, shocked at the effect it had on you. But you were quick to shake it off; you just weren’t used it, you told yourself. You put the coffees down in front of him and sat down on the sofa next to him. Joe pulled you over towards him immediately. Close. Hands on your legs that were now half on the sofa and half over Joe’s legs. Faces close, but Joe didn’t move to kiss you. He waited again, and you thought back to how he had done that earlier in the store too. He’d get so close, close enough for you to feel and smell his breath, but then he’d linger. In case you didn’t want to be kissed? To give you control over the situation? It sounded chivalrous, but it was more just, very annoying. You waited to see if he really wouldn’t do anything. When it took too long, Joe’s hands started wandering from your legs to your waist before snaking their way over to your back, dipping underneath your top to graze bare skin… but his lips? So close. But still not touching yours.
“Kiss me,” you whispered breathily, needing to know if he would when you asked for it. Joe’s grin grew, and he turned his head to touch his nose on the other side of yours, but not following orders. He was still just there, hovering. You moved back slightly to look at him. “Are you edging me for a fucking kiss?”
Joe laughed loudly, tilting his head back as he did. You used your fingers to poke him in his stomach, making him curl in on himself.
“You’ve got to earn it!” Joe laughed as he grabbed hold of your hands to stop you. “All right, so I think I can still catch the tube if I leave now, maybe the night bus if I’m unlucky,” you faked getting up to leave, looking at your empty wrist for the time. “No, no, no,” Joe was quick to pull you back in close to him by your waist and then held you there.
“What do I need to know?” Joe meant about you. You groaned and let your head slump against his shoulder. “You said yourself that it’s unfair,” Joe said, now using his fingers to trail slowly up and down your back.
“It is unfair.” You looked at him. “But I promise it’s unfair to me.”
“All you’ve got to do is tell me something about you. Hardly seems a difficult job to do.” Joe made a point, and you saw his eyes dart to your lips. You bit them for a second, pondering if you should say what you were about to.
“How was your film premier the other day?” It’s not ‘something about you’. But you knew it would reveal something about you, which felt like it was within the gist of things.
Joe instantly tensed under your hands.
“See?” he then said. “Unfair to me, because I haven’t told you about that and you still know about it.” Joe thought he was making a point. And sure, something could be said for it, but it’s not what you meant.
“Exactly. You haven’t told me about that.” It prompted Joe to sit back a little, widening the space in between you. You felt like you were winning the game, but it wasn’t a very fun occasion. You could hear distant alarm bells inside your mind again. “We don’t know each other.” You waved a finger in between the two of you, signaling to Joe that this was a two-way street. “I know you as the man who comes into my store to sit and read books.” Joe frowned at you. “Who I also flirt with, and give coffee to, and occasionally make out with.” You added, letting Joe know he was more to you than a random customer. “I don’t know Joseph Quinn," You spoke and motioned your hands as if his name was written in lights across the sky. "The famous actor who takes selfies with fans in the street, who flies business class all over the world, who has long days of filming and doing press interviews and who goes to lavish parties with celebrities and models and-”
“Premier was fine.” Joe interrupted you and sucked all playfulness out of the room with the short answer to your earlier question, his face serious.
“Good. I’m glad.” You were unsure of what else to say.
It was quiet for a second bar the now blaring alarm bells in your mind, and it quickly grew awkward. You didn’t like Joe’s apartment. At all. And you didn’t think you were going to get that kiss still.
But you could obviously try, still. So you did.
“I don’t have any siblings.” You started.
“And I can’t watch horror films because they activate my fight or flight response, and I never know which one it’s going to be, so I’ll either end up punching the TV or I have to pause the film to go for a walk.” You noticed a small smile creep onto Joe’s face.
“I’ve been to Spain once when I was six years old and I’ve wanted to go back ever since, but I’m afraid that when I do, it won’t be as good as I remember it and I don’t want to shatter those precious childhood memories.” Joe scooted closer to you; his grip stronger on you again.
“I really love Christmas. Everything about it. The bad films, the repetitive music, the cold weather, the smell of Christmas trees – it’s truly the most wonderful time of the year.” It was working. Time to hit for a home run.
“And I’m a real sucker for good, slow, passionate kisses.” And Joe kissed you, just like you said you wanted him to.
—
part four
read Like A Poem here
—
The Taglisted: @kiwisa @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @xomunson @sadbitchfangirl @jssmth5 @bagelofthelord67 @nobody-000 @lluviamg06 @thatonefan-girl - add yourself
#a lot like love#part 3#joe quinn#joseph quinn#fanfiction#like a poem#joe quinn x reader#joseph quinn x reader#joe x reader
199 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay I have a question about JK R*wling and oppressed voices and it makes me uncomfy and… I’m just gonna go on anon. Hope that’s okay.
So, I worked in a bookstore. So of course we sold HP stuff, it was B&N. Can’t get around that, I just never advertised it unless asked specifically about it because it was my job.
But then a new coworker was hired. I’ll call them V. V was non-binary and very, VERY active in the LGBT community and friendly. I really liked them and we seemed to have great convos. I considered them a friend.
But then the topic of HP came up and I mentioned how I don’t advertise HP any more than I absolutely have to for my job because of all the problematic elements within in and because of R*wling herself being very transphobic and just a terrible person. And V… went OFF.
V said I was white knighting for the trans and Jewish community (that I am not a part of) and that I should let them speak for themselves. And let people make their own choices, good or bad. They said that they still loved HP, even though they were non-binary, and that was their choice and that didn’t make them transphobic because they were under the gender queer umbrella.
V said that, when it comes to sensitive topics like these, I should keep my mouth shut. Because, since I am not a part of the oppressed communities, I am taking away their voice, in this case theirs. They said it was fine if I didn’t want to advertise HP, but I shouldn’t “trash it” to them (I don’t feel like I was) when they should be able to speak first.
And I guess I’m just asking for advice for situations like this? I don’t talk to V anymore, I’ve since quit that job, but it really stuck out to me. Because I felt really wrong-footed. And I get that I don’t want to speak over the people that are oppressed, but I didn’t feel like that’s what I was doing in that situation?
I guess… how do I stand up for people that are being hurt by others without taking their voice? How do I use my voice to uplift others and not speak over them? And how do I recognize when I’m talking over someone myself? Because I while I didn’t feel like I was doing that to V, V obviously felt like I was. And I’m just… I’m really confused tbh.
Any help would be appreciated…
You did nothing wrong.
Your former coworker, on the other hand, sounds like a boot licker grasping for excuses to justify not giving up their support for a shitty person, and weaponizing their queerness to evade accountability for shitty behaviors.
In my opinion, anybody who says anybody should keep their mouth shut when it comes to issues related to white supremacy, racism, bigotry, etc., is potentially dangerous. If they will try to silence you, then for damn sure they won't think twice about trying to silence us. Because silence is complicity. Silence is what makes the white supremacists' work all the more easy. Silence is the first tool that oppressors use to maintain power and continue oppression. Silence takes away our allies, because a silent ally is no ally.
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just Dizziness - Chapter 8
I swore that I kept smelling something like citrus, but I knew that there weren't any oranges, lemons, etc in the apartment because neither of us had picked any up from the store the past couple of weeks. Something about the scent seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite place it as it came and went like a summer breeze.
I finished my copy of High Rise. Half way through reading it, my roommate caught on about the affiliation with my “imaginary boyfriend”. She attempted to give me a little humorous grief over it but stopped when she saw it only made me sadder. She was only trying to cheer me up, pull me out of my funk.
I still hadn't told her about hearing that oh so familiar voice because I was too afraid she would haul me back to the hospital, but the newly accompanying citrus fragrance started having a bit of a calming effect on me.
Headaches were still coming and going. The days continued to pass. Sarah was able to continue to work from home and keep an eye on me while maintaining her job. She was able to keep up on digital paperwork, responded to emails, worked on various issues, and occasionally attended meetings remotely. She was well respected in her company, and her manager had given her the flexibility some time before all this had happened to work remotely and only come in as needed to which she was very grateful for in the present circumstances.
Since this all began with me a few weeks ago, she only had to go into the office a few times but kept her phone with her in case I should text saying I needed her or needed something on her way back, but I never bothered her when she did go into the office. It didn't change the routine I had created.
A couple of days after going to the coffee shop and the bookstore, Sarah had to go into work for meetings all day but assured me, repeatedly, that she would have her phone with her should I need anything.
When she left, I was holed up in my room. I forced myself to look out the window. It looked like a nice day, but I just wanted to stay in. The most I could get myself to do at the moment was take a shower and change the sheets.
When I got out of the shower, I realized there was some kind of stench. With the weather cooperating outside, I decided to open the window for a bit and light a candle while I changed my sheets.
Once changed, you snuggled back in, cuddling with one of your pillows.
And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
There his voice was again along with that soothing citrus scent. This time, I swore it felt like someone was holding me from behind.
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile
Glancing behind me, I saw, for a brief moment, Tom holding me, his face filled with worry and exhaustion. I blinked, and he was gone. No one was there. I must have imagined it with how much I’ve been watching his films and TV shows. Maybe I should eat more and drink some more water? These delusions were starting to get a little too real.
'Too bad it’s only a daydream' I thought to myself.
I decided to seize the moment to put on some shoes and go to the corner store by myself. With this new turn of events, fresh air would be good for me.
I entered the store and picked up a couple of items: pre-made chicken salad and bread. I loved their chicken salad and could put it on a sandwich or eat it straight up with a spoon. I also grabbed a few bottles of water, paid at the register, and headed back to the apartment.
When Sarah got home from work, she noticed the new food items as well as my open bedroom window and was visibly elated, but she didn't bring it up in case it caused me to back peddle.
As I fell asleep that evening, I swore I heard him whisper again.
"I love you so much my dear. Can you hear me? Can you come back to me?"
I bolted upright, looking around and noticed the window was still open. It was getting chilly, and I decided to dismiss what I heard as someone's words being carried on the breeze. Once the window was shut, I burrowed back into bed and drifted into a restless sleep.
Chapter 9
#tom hiddleston#twh#tomhiddleston#twhiddleston#damn hiddleston#hiddlestoners#thomas william hiddleston#hiddleston#hiddles#tom hiddleston fanfiction#tom hiddelston imagine#tom hiddelston x reader#tom hiddelson#tom hiddleston x original female character#tom hiddleston x reader#tom hiddleston x ofc#tom hiddleston x you#just dizziness
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tagged by my beloved @raemoriendi, thanks 💜💜
1. Are you named after anyone?
Not that I know of, my parents chose my name for its meaning in Hebrew, it's a variation of "Eloim", which literally means God. I used to not like my name very much, but I've learned to get along with it.
2. When was the last time you cried?
A couple of weeks ago I guess, it was mid an anxiety attack.
3. Do you have kids?
No, but at the moment I plan to have one child in the future, but I don't know, I might change my mind at some point.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
YES, much more than I should actually…
5. What sports do you play/have you played?
I did basketball for a while in middle school, haven't done anything since.
6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?
My psychologist told me I'm an "empath" because I have an ease in understanding how people feel. So I guess is their vibe and their moods.
7. What's your eye colour?
I have a pair of myopic dark browns, depending on the light they're a bit cinnamon-like
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
I'm not the biggest fan of happy endings, I'm a fan of tragic endings lol so I think that puts me in the pan of horror movies, I particularly love them.
9. Any special talents?
I really don't know lol, I think maybe whistling, being able to identify a bass/baritone/tenor/countertenor voice just listening to it once and I think an eidetic memory…? I don't know if these things really count lol
10. Where were you born?
I was born in northeastern Brazil in a state called Pernambuco, and I am an advocate that it is the best state in the country ;)
11. What are your hobbies?
Writing fictional works (endless wips :,D), organizing lists of various types, making playlists with a very specific vibe, reading, being dragged into binge watching a whole show that i've just started, obsessing over something and only resting after having consumed EVERYTHING I could about.
12. Do you have any pets?
Four dogs that are the light of my life, Luna, Lucy, Branca and Cindy
13. How tall are you?
I'm a 5′5″ unhinged gremlin
14. Favorite subject in school?
I've always been very good at Portuguese (Grammar) and Writing, but Literature, English and Sociology have always been my favorites, it's not surprising I'm going to college to become an English teacher, and to have a Phd in Gothic literature (or Symbolist I'm still deciding)
15. Dream job?
I think I'm already chasing my dream one way or another, I've always liked teaching, but I've always wanted to teach at a college.
If it weren't for the money, I think I would have worked in a bookstore as a full-time librarian, I really loved that job, but the salary was barely enough to pay the rent. I think being a writer, like REALLY a writer, is a dream too… Maybe if I had some talent and didn't have stage fright being an actress might be cool as well lmao
15 mutuals:
non-pressure tags 💜
@chronic-ghost @aflockofbees @everythingbutresolved @girlwiththenegantattoo @apbajs @mysoftboybensolo @littleredwritingcat @womanhoodchronicles @charismat1c-megafauna @scuttle-buttle @purplelupins @spookyconsultingcriminal @ashton-slashton and if you saw this consider yourself tagged 💙
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
How are you doing, apu?
I hope good...
Tesoro 💜 how are you? How life is treating you? Tell me something nice that happened to you recently.
Well, regarding Yoongi, ehm, I'm feeling a bit bittersweet, if it makes any sense. I mean, I was happy to see him (he looked sooo healthy and fine as always!) yesterday during the live and I'm so glad to know he's been resting and eating well and spending time with people who love him. He also got a haircut and I do not like that, no no. But he's still cute as hell tho. From what I understood, but take it with a pinch of salt 'cause I'm stupid and I'm probably wrong, he's going to do social service - I'm assuming due to his shoulder - which means he'll be able to go back home at the end of the day, sleep in his comfy bed, be in his house, work on music if he feels like it, see his friends and family a little bit more often. Also, if I remember correctly, in one of suchwita episodes, he said he wanted to experience a 9-5 job and that's another good point in his favor. The service time has also been reduced to 21 months, I think. But again, I could be wrong, I don't know. But yeah, I'm happy for him but I'm sad for me 'cause it hurts. In an extremely selfish way, I don't want him to go. And listen, I'm well aware that, practically, nothing will change in my life because Min Yoongi, flesh and bones, is not part of my daily, real life but. But. Still. Just the mere thought of him leaving... it hurts and I cannot tell why, I don't know the rational reason but I do know that the feeling is there. And it's pretty real. I'm really trying not to think about it 'cause 2025 will come, eventually. He's gonna come back to us. He promised.
About everything else, I'm a fucking mess. I went to the gynecologist 'cause my period is so bad I can't leave the house the first two days and she said I can't take the pill due my migraines which means I need to try the cup. Now, I bought the cup and period'll come within days but I'm scared. I'm fucking terrified. I believe I'll cry. About the bookstore, I've been doing researches, I've asked around (basically I annoyed the shit out of my poor cousin) and having it in a mall is a big no for two reasons: it's a much higher investment, obviously, and I should do it with some franchise BUT, in that case, I'll feel trapped, creatively speaking, because with them every store has to be the same and there isn't much you can do. But I have a different project (like, I've already thought about the name, I have 3, and I can already picture myself with brushes and paint and tools renovating the place.. I mean it, I can actually see myself doing it). I want a reading corner with pillows and blankets and I want to offer tea and cookies and pastries and I want to include second/third hand books so they can keep on living instead of collecting dust on a shelf. The first step is to find a place and rent it or buy it, I don't know. I know nothing, everything is new, big and scary and I wish my father would tell me 'hey, I know it's scary, it'll be challenging and still it may be a failure but I've got your back, I'm here' instead of 'I wouldn't do it, it's too much responsibilities, find an office job and don't think about it.' Thanks for the support, dad.
I could go on and on and on but I've run out of energy
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I mean it’s kinda been a while since I’ve been properly active on here whoops. But I’ve still but skulking about quietly cultivating my silly little hyperfixations and writing my silly little stories about them and it’s gotten to the point where I may finally have something new to put on AO3 so I figured I would indulge in WIP Wednesday to really put the pressure on.
It has been two years since I’ve posted a fic and this is a Christmas fic so she still has a few months of proofing and fine tuning ahead - but it intends to be very wolfstar turning hallmark movie featuring single-dad/bookstore owner Remus; fancy business Sirius learning to let himself appreciate to little things in life; James being his usual chaotic-Christmas obsessed self; toddle Harry and Teddy being best friends/partners in crime/unintentional matchmakers; and a little side of domestic Jily
It’s strange being back in Hogsmeade. Sirius notes as he makes his way down the winding street, that the small town really hasn’t changed at all since he was last here almost ten years ago. In fact, if anything it somehow seems even smaller and quieter than it was when he used to visit during his high school days. Frankly, he finds it ridiculous that James would ever want to give up the excitement and buzz of city life for a town whose under-fifty population could probably be counted on two hands. And yes, logically it does make sense - Lily started a new job at their old high school in September and it’s probably a good place to raise a kid (not that Sirius knows much about good parenting but he feels like quaint countryside is supposed to be good.) But regardless of that, at the end of the day, Sirius is still just a smidge annoyed that his best friends up and moved to the other end of the country when there are plenty of good schools in London for Lily to teach at and Harry to enrol in.
However, any mild resentment that has quietly brewed over the last couple of months is quickly replaced by excitement when he finally reaches the last cottage at the of the street and pushes open the red garden gate. The front door is open before Sirius if even halfway up the path. There’s a delightful squeal and Sirius barely has time to register what’s happening before a tiny toddler slams into his leg at a speed that no three-year-old should be able to reach.
He leans down to scoop up Harry, lifting him high into the air and holding him above his head. Harry shrieks with glee, making tiny grabby hands at Sirius’ face.
“Hello Hazza, how’s my favourite little Prongslet?” He asks as he gives Harry one more bounce in the air before bringing him down to balance on his hip.
“Pads!” is all Harry has to say with an unwipable grin plastered on his face.
“He’s been watching through the window all day,” another voice calls and Sirius glances up to find Lily leaning up in the open doorway, an equally big smile as her son.
It only takes a few strides for Sirius to make it to the porch and as soon as he’s in arms reach, he pulls Lily into a tight hug. “Hey, Lils,” he says, face pressed into her soft curls. God he’s missed this.
“How was the journey up?” She asks as pulls away from the hug and leads him inside.
He is hot immediately by the warmth and the smell of baking. It immediately reminds him of visiting the Potters over Christmas as a teenager - Effie and Monty had somehow always made him feel more welcome and more at home than he ever did with his actual parents.
“Long,” he says as he shucks his shoes off. It’s a careful balancing act as he refuses to put Harry down. “I can’t believe we used to do that trip multiple times a year without complaint.”
Lily hums in agreement. “I know. Now imagine it that little nightmare,” she says, the last part more of a coo than actual talking and Harry is giggling again as she ruffles his dark hair.
“Aw, you’re not a nightmare, are you Harry?”
“Yeah!” Harry cheers in agreement.
“You wouldn’t disagree after a ten-hour road trip with him.”
Sirius shudders at the thought.
#wip wednesday#wip writing#wolfstar#remus lupin#sirius black#maddy writes#also did not even bother proofreading this bit lmaooo#idk if anyone will bother reading but the imagined expectation and pressure is normally enough to motivate me#marauders
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Am So Mad rn frfr
I hate that my mental health always takes a massive drop around this time of the year. The worst part is like, it's not even like normal seasonal depression, I like fall and winter and like as soon as Christmas is done I'm fine again for the rest of the winter months. But god I fucking can't take having to see my family like once every week or 2 for a full 3 months from the start of October to the end of December because there's always either a holiday or one of their birthday's. At least I narrowly avoided one of the 2 worst days, Thanksgiving, because I had work as an excuse 🎉🎉🎉 unfortunately I don't have work on Christmas and because I avoided them for Thanksgiving I am going to be hearing shit over that on top of the normal things that make me want to die. I am actually at my fucking limit of dealing with these people, the last time I saw them I got extremely close to having a meltdown and fighting my uncle. If I hear a single fucking thing this time about my fucking hair, or my ear-piercing, or my job, or the way I fucking walk, or if one of them say I look like a [REDACTED] because of any of those things I'm gonna fucking lose it. I fucking hate my entire dad's side of my family and I can't fucking escape them in my current situation and yet my mom's side of my family is mostly great and I don't have a problem with a majority of them, unfortunately I haven't been able to talk to any of them in several years and trying to get in contact with any of them would give an easy way for my mother to find me which would potentially put my life in danger so yea that's cool.
At least after Christmas I'll be done with them for a while so just 1 more week and it'll all be over, and as long as I'm out of my father's house by this time next year, which there's no reason why I shouldn't be aside from my own incompetence (which is a really big obstacle, I can't do shit right), I won't have to see any of them ever again. Just 1 more week 1 more week only 1 more I can do it I'll live no more holidays after that I can survive 1 week surely I won't go on a psychotic rampage within that little amount of time.
AND last night someone I haven't talked to in like 6 months randomly messaged me on Discord minutes before I was about to go to sleep wanting to call, and I regrettably said sure. This was like 5 hours before I was supposed to go to work too and the entire like 2 hours he had me trapped in the call I was just desperately trying to find an excuse out (even tho I literally had a very valid excuse of having work the next morning) and of course I did not get a single moment of sleep afterwards because it was too late by the time I got out and was tired af the entire day (I have still not slept since then because I am very smart and take very good care of myself and always get sufficient sleep and I have work again in 6 hours).
The call itself was completely fucking miserable too, there is a reason I haven't talked to this person in 6 months and absolutely should not have agreed to talk but I suck and can't say no to anything ever. Immediately like 1 minute in they start telling me about how they think some girl at a bookstore they go to is flirting with them, which like, on it's own, if it was actually happening, like that's fine, whatever, cool, but then the snowball really starts when he mentions her age as "probably in her early 20s" (he's like, at least 35 (which again, normally I don't care, fine on it's own)), and I blanked out really fucking hard for 90% of that call so I don't even remember everything he said about her after that, but I do remember him progressively changing her age as he kept talking to "probably 20" then "at least 18" and then after that kinda implying but not outright stating that she's possibly not even 18. This entire time I was pretty much not saying a word except like "yea" and "uh-huh" and like other completely meaningless responses, so it just felt like he was having an internal debate with himself over whether he should try to go after this potentially underaged retail worker except instead of it being internal it was out loud, to me. What's fucking worse is the conclusion he came to was that like, he "doesn't really care about how others perceive him at this point" in reference to trying to hit on this probably underage retail worker. I feel really bad for that bookstore clerk she probably literally was just trying to do a job that she has to do and now this creep thinks she's into him. AAAAAAAAAA AND I'M THE FUCKING WORST BECAUSE THE ENTIRE TIME THE MOST I SAID WAS LIKE "yea I probably wouldn't do that, but like it's your life I can't stop you" INSTEAD OF TAKING A HARD STANCE AND JUST SAYING OUTRIGHT TO FUCK OFF AND DIE.
After they finally finished being the biggest creep I have had to talk to in months they just started talking about a bunch of random games they'd been playing, and they got really hung up on Baldur's Gate 3 specifically, they fuckin' hate it. I should preface this part with, I have mentioned to this person once in the past that I am nonbinary and trans and they were kinda weird about it then and I just didn't ever bring it up after that, but they still definitely knew unless they just forgot. So like, idk anything about Baldur's Gate, or D&D as a whole, but I've heard 3 is good, and so when he first brought it up I said "I haven't played it but I have literally only heard good things about it" big mistake, this instantly led to him listing off every issue he had with the game, specifically it's writing, and how much he hates that they added the ability to choose your pronouns because it's a classic fantasy game and pronoun choice doesn't make sense in a D&D-style fantasy world (even though I thought like the entire point of D&D was making your own character whatever the fuck you want it to be). He also really didn't like that you can be in a polyamorous relationship in 3 and brought up an example of like, some character in 2 would never be in a poly relationship, and if you chose them as your partner they would probably kill you if you tried going out with anyone else, but like, that character isn't in 3 as far as I'm aware, and also like, just because it wasn't in 2 doesn't mean they can't add it in 3, actually that was like the crux of most of his points he just really didn't like anything that was even slightly different than Baldur's Gate 2. Also side note but that character he brought up from 2 I do not remember the name of at all and every single time he brought her up he was like "surely you know her, you've definitely seen her there's tons of rule 34 of her" sorry but no I haven't seen the porn of a random character that I didn't even know existed and I don't know why you assume I have. Anyways now I have a reason to play Baldur's Gate 3 and never touch Baldur's Gate 1 or 2 entirely out of spite.
I don't know why the fuck he just randomly wanted to talk to me and have these specific fucking conversations with me of all people but now I've had to spend the last 20 hours thinking about how much that call pissed me off so that's fun. God I fucking wish I had some basic fucking social ability to tell someone to fuck off without worrying about, literally nothing, just completely nebulous anxiety, I had literally no reason not to just leave the call and tell him not to message me again as soon as he started being weird BECAUSE I DON'T ACTUALLY FUCKING GIVE A SHIT HOW SOMEONE WHO IS THAT MUCH OF A PIECE OF SHIT REACTS TO ME TELLING THEM TO SHUT UP WHY THE FUCK AM I LIKE THIS AAAAAAAAA I'M JUST FUCKING BLOCKING HIM NOW LIKE I SHOULD HAVE LAST NIGHT AAAAAAAAA. At least in this case I can just easily block him and be done with it, I'm not friends with anyone he knows anymore and I already hadn't been talking to him but like, ugh.
#let's go only 4 more hours until I have to be up for work again let's see how long I can keep the no sleep train going#no I don't need therapy or meds all I need is jerma house flipper streams#if judge makes “handgina” -10 points#god i can't wait for january so i can hopefully not constantly feel like shit anymore and also actually enjoy winter#I'm so mad I'm so mad#I'm huffing and puffing im stomping and puffing i'm so mad#oh im so infuriated im so mad im stomping#oh ive never been so mad ohhhhh ive never been so enraged#girlboss moment#gamer moment
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
