#AND ITS SO STUPID BECAUSE HERE I AM MISSING ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS SCARING MY FAMILY WEIRDING OUT OTHER STUDENTS AND MAKING MY PROFS HATE ME | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eartht137 · 3 years

Text

FOR THE BETTER

Hello and greetings to anyone that gets to read this. It is my first story. I wanted to try and see how this was received before continuing so please feel free to let me know how you like it. Please be easy on me it is my first one I am new to this, but I hope you like it. Its a bit slow right now but I swear the chapters will get going as we go along on this ride together. Okay *curvies* love ya! Enjoy!

Dark Clark Kent x (Black)!Plus Size Reader

SUMMARY: (I suck at them but here goes) After working miserable unfulfilling jobs, you decide to go back to school to pursue your dream in writing. You get the very handsome, very smart Mr. Kent as your English/Literature Professor. You've always stayed to yourself preferring to have your alone time and focus on your writing. Mr. Kent comes in to shake that way of thinking up and its all with your best interest at heart (well his best interest at heart){Cheesy, am I right?}

"For the weekend's assignment. Something very simple, almost high school level. Don't complicate it." Mr. Kent said dragging his feet to tell you all what the stupid assignment was.

"Get to the point." You thought out loud as you rested your head in your hand. He glared at you for moment before continuing. You felt your face flush, because-'no way he heard me' you thought.

"I want you all to write me a paper on...one thing you like about yourself and why." He rushed out. "I want you all to be as genuine as possible, if you're going to be journalists you have to capture your audience. If you can sell yourself, then you can sell a story. If you're a snooze fest......I honestly don't know what to tell you" He chuckled

Everyone groaned because why???

"Due next Monday on the dot. NO EXCEPTIONS!" He belted. "If you don't have your paper on Monday, you will stand up and give a 5 minute speech on said topic."

'What kind of teenage topic is this?' You thought.

"Don't give me lip guys, you signed up for this. I didn't make you do anything." He said pointing at all of you. "No complaining. Monday! Class dismissed." He announced causing everyone to scatter. You were just about out the door when he stopped you.

"Y/n, can you stay back for bit?"

"Yeah sure." You immediately got nervous. You weren't used to being singled out, you always managed to stay below the radar. You'd figured out ways to stay out of sight out of mind after always being criticized by your family, so getting asked to stay back wasn't a normal thing. You braced yourself for the "you can do better speech" and hoped it wouldn't take too long. You watched as the room emptied and he gathered his stuff.

"Come on, lets step into my office." He said leading the way with his hands full. "Have a seat." he said motioning to the chair in front of his desk. you sat feeling butterflies in the pit of your stomach. Literally everyone would've given anything to be where you were. Mr. Kent was almost mythical. You didn't know a day where you didn't think 'DAMN that man know he fine!' And you knew he knew it.

"Bet you think I'm gonna talk about your grades." he chuckled. "While I do require your improvement,"

'Require?' you thought hoping your face didn't covey your attitude.

"I wanted to talk about something else."

"O-kay?"

"I've notice, you're very um...to yourself, is everything-"

'Oh there it is.'

"Mr. Kent, please don't analyze me. I am a whole different breed of human. I don't do people."

"I'm sorry?" he asked tilting his head.

"I just value my alone time. You can't have that with people."

"You can still have space with other people in your life." he said shaking his head at you.

"I didn't say space, I said alone time, and that's not the same. That's still with people. Like, no." you said crossing you arms.

He stared at your for a second, the he began to laugh, and rub his eyes. "You really are something."

"Mm-hmm its true."

"I'm just saying its healthy to get out and socialize every once and awhile, not all the time, I mean-don't you get lonely sometimes?

"No, not really. I mean don't give me wrong I'm human. I get the urge to hang out, then I do, then I remember why I didn't want to do it in the first place." you said realizing you were almost ranting. He eyed you as if he didn't believe you.

"I tell you what, I know you say you're fine, but for my sanity, can we be friends? You know just someone to check on you, make sure you're okay? If-if you hate it by the end of the week then I'll let it go."

"Mr. Kent, no offense, but why do you care? I mean, you have your own life, I'm sure you got a nice family you should be there for, so like....I'm gonna need a it all to make sense."

"Its mean, don't get me wrong I enjoy solitude too, and its not because I don't like people," he chuckled, "but I know what its like to sometimes need someone I could just talk to when I really needed it most and not having it. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Its funny because it would always lead me home."

"Well that's the difference between you and me, there is no going back." you sighed. You contemplated it 'It couldn't hurt could it?' "Okay."

"Okay?"

"We can be friends." you resigned.

"Great!" he said clapping his hands together.

"Only til the end of the week." You said standing stretching. "So we good? Can I go?"

"Actually, what are you doing tonight? I mean, my ma is cooking dinner and-"

"Okay anything food related, I'm down." You cut him off.

"Good, well I'll pick you up at 6?"

"Yeah sure." You said trying to get away.

"Uh, Y/n?"

"Yes?" You asked sweetly.

"I'm going to need your address." He said knowing you knew he needed it.

You gave you your information and booked it out of there. You immediately went home and took a nap. The whole ordeal was a bit draining for you.

It was your phones constant vibrating that woke you out of a deep sleep. You let it ring a few more times before picking it up.

"What?" You groaned into the phone.

"Y/n are ready? I'm like 15 minutes away." Mr. Kent asked.

"Ready for what?"

"Food?"

"Food? Food! Oh shit!" You said jumping up remembering dinner plans. "I'll be ready when you get here." You said quickly hanging up and rushing to get ready. By the time you felt you looked decent enough, he called and told he was there. When you walked out to meet him, you saw his girlfriend was with him and you put on a small smile. 'Of course he has a girlfriend, why wouldn't he. Still a bummer though, oh well.' you thought to yourself as you walked toward them.

"Y/n this is Lois, Lois this is Y/n. Lois is one of the top editors at the Daily Planet." He bragged, and you immediately got nervous. You'd read her work and you'd give to be as good, even better at writing.

"It really is nice to meet you, Clark speaks very highly of you and your writing." she said smiling.

"Really? I mean writing is my passion, I'm aspiring to get at least in the door. I'm not an editor or professor, but I think I'm okay." You said realizing you were babbling on because of your anxiety.

"Be confident in your work. It shows when you really mean what you're writing about. It also shows when you're doubting yourself." She said smiling at you. You immediately liked her and hoped to get to know her for advice sometime. You all got in and they fell into easy chatter along the way. Every now and again they'd touch on a topic you'd find interesting or be excited about, and you'd really get into it, smiling and being expressive. You'd catch Clark staring at you, a bit shocked at how much you had to say after months of being so quiet, and you'd retreat like a turtle back into your shell. You tried to not enjoy being around them, but every now and again, you liked talking to people on your level. Every now and again, you'd get lost in the breeze of the night air. You'd look out and get lost looking at the stars and the moon out of the open window of the moving car. You get so lost you forgot the other two people in the car and you'd miss the glances Clark took at you through the rearview mirror. When you all arrived at his moms farm you practically gawked at all the land around. You driven by open field and corn fields, you'd never actually gotten to see it up close.

As you all got out, his mom stepped out and waved at you.

"Well, looks like we got extra family tonight." she said smiling. You immediately felt a bit awkward. "Oh dear don't be shy, any friend of Clark is family." She said pulling you into a big hug.

"Thank you for having me Mrs. Kent." You said smiling.

"No go on now you just call me Martha." she said smiling and leading you inside. "You two come along, you know the routine." She said waving Lois and Clark inside. Dinner was great, you even found yourself laughing out loud. It exhilarated you and scared you to have such a good time around other people. You almost, ALMOST, didn't want the night to end, but you missed your bed. As if reading your mind, Clark announced it was time to leave.

"Looks like someone is ready for bed." He chuckled.

"Yep, I miss my solitude." You said stretching. Clark shook his head at you.

"What?" You asked innocently.

You said your final farewells and got in the car heading home. The ride home was peaceful, there was a calm silence between you three and you smiled watching the love exchanges between the two. You could see how much he loved her and you could understand why, Lois was beautiful woman. Your mind jumped from reasons you weren't in a relationship, to the assignment Clark had given you for the weekend. One thing you like about yourself? That topic was always hard for you and you couldn't even begin to find the words to start. Over the years you'd tried hard to accept yourself, love yourself, and be who you were unapologetically, but the moment you got to the threshold of truly giving yourself a chance, all of the criticism, judgment, and years of being invalidated filled you with fear and dread and you'd go back to your shell and do what you did best. Stay in your own bubble. Tears stung your eyes as you tried to stomp down the voices of doubt and resentment, 'It's okay, I'm good, I do what I have to and I'm happy with it. I'm at peace.' you thought to yourself over and over.

"You okay?" Clarks deep voice full of concerned pulled you from your thoughts and you shook you head to bring yourself back to reality.

"Yeah, just trying to stay awake." you said avoiding his gaze. The ride continued in silence and you couldn't help but drift off. One moment you were letting the ride soothe you to sleep and the next you heard a voice cooing you to sleep.

"Shh shh shh it's okay" Clark whispered. You couldn't help but cover your eyes. You were in Clark's arms as he carried you to the apartment.

"Woah," you said trying to get out of his arms. He gently placed you on your feet like a flower.

"Hey, its okay, calm down." He said gently rubbing your arms.

"S-sorry, I've just never-"

"Had anyone carry you before." He said finishing your sentence. You shifted feeling a bit awkward.

"Well, thanks for dinner. Thanks Lois!" You waved at her before going to your door. "Goodnight." you said one last time as you got inside. During the weekend you were extremely restless and was finding it hard to concentrate long enough to work on your assignment. Even when you sat waiting for words to form in your mind you eventually got busy doing something different. The night before class, you had an idea pop in your head, and you decided to go for it. You just hoped it would all make sense, it was the only think your mind focused on.

#dark clark kent #x black reader #plus size reader #smut fic

127 notes · View notes

thestarrynightslover · 3 years

Text

You and Me

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 2,649

Warnings: Angsttt, slight swearing, mentions of harassment and violence (all show-like, tho).

Summary: Jay and (y/n) were trying to navigate their secret workplace romance when an unexpected event agitates their feelings about it.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: No, I am not very sure of what exactly this is, sorry! I think it turned out kinda messy but, being honest, I just really wanted to write their interactions within that kind of angst!

Anyways, I hope this isn’t too bad and I am very sorry about dropping this kind of imagine instead of something good enough to help us heal from the finales.

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

It had been about 20 minutes since you finally convinced Kevin that you were okay and that he should go home when you heard someone knock on the door. You knew it was him. It had to be him. You needed it to be him. So you quickly moved to open, after checking the peephole. As soon as there was a hint of an opening, you felt Jay’s arms around you, his breath on your neck, and his voice cracking with concern.

"Oh my God, baby, I was so worried about you!" He sounded absolutely desperate, his arms enveloping you in just the way your own despair required him to.

"I know, I know... I just... I-" You tried to let out but couldn't continue because you'd started sobbing. Around Jay, it was inevitable for you to put your walls down. And, almost as soon as your tears started to fall, your boyfriend brought you even closer; holding you tightly by the waist with one arm, the other stroking your hair.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay, princess. You're okay now." He told you, but the truth was he wanted to cry as well. Not only had those past days been pure agony for him — a lonely agony —, but, also, because, even with you like that, you both knew that Jay wouldn't be able to keep a promise to stay the night if he got a call from work. Because no one knew that he needed to stay by your side. That you needed him there. Because no one knew how much all of that was hurting him, too. Because no one knew anything.

"I'm just- I just came so- so close this time, you know?" You tried to let him in on how you were feeling, pulling away a little so you could see his face better.

"I know." He replied, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "And it all happened so suddenly, I felt so stupid, powerless..." Jay confessed, as he remembered the operation that’d gotten you abducted, leaving the entire team with no clue on how it happened.

But, for your boyfriend, it was pretty clear, though: the two of you were covering one side of the building and, afraid you might get upset with him for hovering, he didn’t have your back the way he should have. It was his fault that it all happened to you.

"Jay... That wasn't your fault, okay?” You stated firmly, as if you knew exactly what he was thinking. “None of us could've guessed that it would turn into something that, um, bad..." You said, not being able to stop the shiver that ran through your body, which made Jay go back to holding you close.

"Still, I should have done a better job at protecting you-" He started to mutter quietly in your hair, but you stopped him with a disapproving look.

"Stop, okay? Just stop! I'm a cop too, I have been a cop for about the same time that you have and I never needed or had a boyfriend protecting me in some special manner on the job!" He just stared at you, shock and hurt in his eyes.

"I know that, okay? I do know that." He told you quickly, as his hands went up from your sides, in a sign of surrender. "And I'm sorry if it came across as if I thought any differently. I'm sorry, baby. It's just that-" He paused for a moment, looking so hurt while sighing deeply, "It was really hard to not know what was going on with you, even after you went to the hospital... I mean they called Kevin to go stay with you in the hospital!" Another sigh, this time, an annoyed one. "And, seeing that, I guess that I just- I just wished that none of it had happened?"

"Jay..."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be saying this right now. I'm making this about me, when it's actually about you, geez." He reprehended himself while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, no! It's okay. Because this is about you, too. And I'm glad you're telling me how you feel." Hearing that, he just looked at you and wondered about how on Earth he had managed to snatch someone like you. "First things first: what happened to me wasn't your fault. I don’t say this often but: as great a partner as Kevin is, I love working by your side. And, I do it without any fear or concern because I know you'll have my back. One hundred percent." You assured him while giving his hand a gentle squeeze, "now, the second thing: you do know that they only called Kevin because he is my partner, right?"

"I, uh, I do know that," yet another sigh.

"Okay, Jay. I love you and I really need you right now. But, if you don't stop sighing and just say what you wanna say already, I will kick you out of here." At that, he couldn't help but to let out a soft chuckle. God, you loved his smile.

"I don't wanna upset you with this. Especially now. But, I guess, I just would have liked to be the one they called." Seeing the instant frown you made, he clarified: "Not as your partner. As your boyfriend."

You had to admit that, even though you knew going public with your relationship was something Jay thought a lot about, you weren't expecting him to say that at all. Not at that moment, at least. And, being the not-so-calm person you were, the conversation quickly took a turn.

"What the hell? I just got back from the worst moment of my life and you wanna use that- pry on that to pressure me into going public?" God, that was harsh. You knew as soon as the words left your mouth. You regretted it as soon as the words left your mouth. But you didn't dare to open it again, as you watched his face go from hurt to annoyance and then a hint of anger.

"You're kidding, right?" You didn't answer. "Please, tell me you're kidding?"

"Babe, I'm-"

"You're what? You're sorry? Because, man, that shit you just said? That hurt!" He stood there in silence for a moment before continuing: "do you have any idea of what these past days were like for me? You think I'm bringing this up now just because I wanna shout to everyone that you're my girlfriend? Claim you as mine or whatever bullshit reason you think I have for wanting to go public?” You still couldn’t say anything, so he went on, “well, it's not any of that. I'm talking about this because you were missing for two entire fucking days that felt like forever to me, but I couldn't tell anyone how I'd die if anything happened to you because, hey! I was respecting your wishes! I felt guilty about the operation and thought that the least I could do was keep my pain all to myself. Which is kinda funny because you're always telling me not to bottle up my emotions!" By then you were crying, just because you were too mad at yourself for making him feel like that, and he paused but only to take a breath: "But, you know that all of that wasn't even what hurt the most? The worst part was when I got a text from Burgess on the chat group saying that they'd found you and had taken you to Med, but that we could continue doing our surveillance on one of the offenders because Kev was already on the way there!" He shouted this time, which made you wince a little — even though he looked more hurt than angry, really. Running his hands through his hair, Jay completed: "and, now, that I'm finally able to be with you- to- to know for myself that you're okay! You suggest that I was-" He couldn't even finish the sentence, which showed even more just how distraught he truly was. "I guess I just- I just can't believe that you don't see that all I wanna do is be here. With you. Taking care of you. Which is all I wish I could’ve done at the hospital, too…"

"I know, Jay." You whispered with a weak voice. Unsure that he'd heard you, you tried it a bit louder: "I know, Jay. And, trust me, I am so sorry for what I said! I don't- I just… I just wish it didn't have to be this complicated…" You knew what that sounded like. And, God, you were terrified about it. How could not you find anything good enough to say?

"Maybe I shouldn't be saying this… Maybe I shouldn't be trying anymore…” Because it sure looks like you gave it up, he wanted to add, "but I- I need to at least ask. Why does it have to be so complicated?"

"Jay, babe-"

"No! Don't do that! Don't try and stall me with that soft tone! I just wanna know why!"

"You know why, Jay!"

"I don't! I really don't! Or have you forgotten that all you did so far was give me half-ass excuses about privacy and being shy?"

"Okay! You wanna know why?" You half-asked, half-barked at him, "it's because I am scared of what will happen! That's why! Throughout all of my career, I've had to prove myself, then I got this sort of arranged job at Intelligence which not only threw all of my hard work to hell but, also, never lets me rest because it never really feels like I'm a part of that so-called family you guys have! And Voight? Every single day I still feel like he's testing me! Giving me the silliest assignments and being overly mad whenever I get the lead on a case! But, somehow — as messed up as it may sound —, I don't wanna lose that job! I don't wanna risk going back to the unit I came from, where I was constantly harassed and intimidated!" You blurted it all out, only stopping to take a breath while Jay simply stood there looking completely shocked. "And you, Jay, as great as you are — and you're literally the best thing that's ever happened to me —, you can very easily put all of that at risk." Now it was your turn to sigh. You could only hope that you sounded as defeated as you felt: having to give up the guy who was probably the love of your life just to not go from one toxic work environment back to an even more toxic one. Your mouth tasted sour after that realization, which just made you remember how sweet Jay's always was.

"You never told me any of that." He muttered quietly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"I know and I'm sorry. I just… Thought it would get better. Eventually."

"You know I could have helped, right?" He stated sadly, then adding with a shred of hope: "You know… Maybe I still can?"

"Jay… Let's just not make this harder. Please."

"Just hear me out for a second: you are a part of our family." At that you just scoffed and looked the other way, making him pull your chin to connect your eyes again. "You are. I said I was going crazy with you missing but they all were too, including Voight."

"Yeah, right."

"It's true! Why would I lie to you about this? He looked truly haunted and, if I'm being honest, I think he just hoped he wouldn't get too close to you, to keep his head on straight in case something like this ever happened." He gulped harshly before continuing, "in case something worse happened. I think he simply can't handle losing anyone else, (y/n/n)."

"Y- you really think that?" You asked him and, you'd be lying if you said that you didn't get just a little hopeful.

"I do, darling," he told you in a soft tone. "And I'm not making excuses for him here or anything, okay? I'm just tryna tell you that we can deal with Voight. We can deal with rumors. I swear I will fucking kill anyone who dares to even touch your name on that stupid department!"

"Jay!" You started to reprehend again, even though you knew that he was just trying to lighten the mood. "That is exactly the kind of stuff you can't even think about doing after we go public!" You told him while spatting his arm.

"Ouch! Wait a second, did you really just say after we go public?" The way his eyes twinkled at that moment was enough to get you to agree with anything he wanted, really.

"But, hey! Don't get all exci-" You couldn't finish your sentence as he had already swept you off your feet and started kissing you all over. It hurt a little, due to your bruises, but it's not like you actually gave a damn about it.

"Don't get excited? Lady, I'm already over the moon!" He told you with the biggest smile you’d ever seen.

“Oh, God. You look so damn cute right now!! I can’t believe that I-” You cut yourself off because your voice started to crack while a big amount of sorrowful tears rolled down your cheeks. Seeing you like that, once more, made Jay start panicking a little, scared that maybe you were backing down on your relationship again.

“Baby? What’s wrong? Talk to me, please, (y/n/n).” Hearing the confusion in his plead sort of brought you back to say:

“I- I just can’t believe that I said the things I said to you! I hurt you! I hurt you in the kind of way I was scared you were you gonna get hurt when it seemed like I was gonna-”

“Don’t you dare complete that sentence, okay?!?” He half-asked, half-begged you, letting on so much heartbreak, “first of all: nothing could have ever hurt me in the way you being gone did. No matter how hard you might have tried, you just wouldn’t be able to get there, girl.” He said more casually, shrugging his shoulders in a way that made you crack a small smile. “And, second: I don’t want you thinking about me, in any way, when you're out there in the field. You just can't, love."

"I know, but at that moment, I-"

"Look, princess, you need to promise me that you will try your best to never do that again, okay? Because if you do, if the people we chase see any weaknesses they'll take advantage of it. And, then... But I know it's hard. You're the first thing on my mind whenever something goes south too, but I just- I love you too much to face the idea of losing you! So you need to promise me that you will keep your head one hundred percent focused on whatever is at hand, please, babe!" He begged you with such urgency in his voice that new tears started rolling down your already marked face.

"Oh, Jay... I love you, too, okay? More than anything in the world! But you know that, when we're in that kinda moment, our minds sometimes just wonder..." Seeing his concerned expression, you decided to add: "However, if you promise me you'll try your best to focus on your work, in the same way, I'll promise it too." At that, he gave you a cheeky smile.

"Deal. Now let's get you in bed cause it's been a long couple of days, detective." He said, picking you up one more time and carrying you to your bedroom.

"Oh my God! Jay, put me down!!" You squealed out, though you didn't really want him to put you down, ever.

250 notes · View notes

shimmershae · 3 years

Text

My thoughts on Episode 8--For Blood

As always, placed behind a cut for those of you that would rather escape my babbling, lol. You’re welcome.

Sadly, I don’t think this is anticipation I feel. I’m pretty sure it’s dread but okay. Here we go.

This episode has to go up from the rock bottom boredom of last week, right?

Let me preface what I’m about to say with the truth that I in no way hate Maggie. She’s been with us since Season 2 and I have an emotional attachment to her, mostly due to my love of Glenn and the way he loved her. She’s not my favorite by any means, but the fact of the matter is, I do like and appreciate her and don’t mind that she is back because it’s nice to have old familiar faces with us to take us into the final season. That said? Forcing Maggie front and center after her long absence ultimately, IMHO, has not worked in these first 8 episodes. I can’t help but feel if ASZ had been the A story with Maggie/Negan and Daryl/Leah/the Reapers the B1 and B2 story? These episodes would have been better received overall and not feel so much like they’re trying so hard. Maybe lead me toward the water instead of shoving my head in it next time, Angela? Hmm?

Oh goodie. They’re opening at Meridian. Should I get my bathroom break out of the way now or give myself an out for later? Call it Shae’s choice, lol.

That flicker of a smirk Leah gave to Carver after their mini walk down memory lane had more spark to it than the entirety of her and Daryl’s toxic relationship. In the future, maybe Angela will lean all in on them instead of Leah and Daryl. Something tells me Leah knows this “brother” biblically.

Daryl recognizes Whisperer moves when he sees ‘em. Somehow, he realizes Maggie and Negan have banded together however reluctantly.

Pope doing it “Dixon’s” way but not allowing Dixon to do the actual thing shows the level of distrust and paranoia the man still haves for outsiders.

Look at Daryl chewing his lips with worry for his people. If he and Leah know each other even a little bit, she has to recognize that as one of his tells.

Ooohhhh. Who took the first stab at Wells? Maggie? Negan? Father G? I swear. I took my eyes off the “ball” one second and the whole damn play is halfway down the field. Sorry. If you cannot tell, I watched football with the fam yesterday, lol.

The Walking Dead logo didn’t crumble this time. Interesting. Parts of it looked like it had been rebuilt. With brick. Wood. Other parts of it looked reclaimed by nature. Call me crazy, but that almost looks like an eye/part of a face on the first D.

Okay then. Babbling nonsense about the logo over, lol. Tell me. Please. Anybody. How do the events at ASZ line up with the events at Meridian? Because it’s night and full-blown storming in ASZ and still daylight at Meridian. But hey. Thank fuck we’re in ASZ.

All the babies huddled together giving me feels. Sorry. I know some feel they have no place on the show, but I personally enjoy their inclusion from time to time. It usually plucks hard at my heartstrings.

Connie tenderly comforting an injured Virgil is sweet, not gonna lie.

Aww. Is that Hershel petting a scared RJ’s hair? Unless it’s a case of me not being able to pick out and place all the little hands, which it most certainly could be, I’m thinking Judith’s got her hand on her knee and that’s Hershel’s hand in RJ’s hair. Regardless of whose hand is where, it was a sweet little scene. What can I say? I’m easy because Baby Glenn and Baby Rick, ya’ll.

Oh snap. The windmill’s on fire and pieces of the wall are blowing down main street ASZ like steel tumbleweeds, lol.

Anybody else having flashbacks to the barn from Season 5? Good times. We still had most of Team Family with us then. They were in a bad place, hurting and lost and just trying to survive--when are they not just trying to survive?--but they were together. I miss them.

Carol and Lydia holding each other. These two, lovelies, have my whole heart.

Wells is Walker Jerky, Shaw. Stop wasting your breath.

“She did. My enemy.” I mean, are we supposed to get the impression Maggie’s been a formidable adversary to Pope? Because she feels more like a roach that simply knows the best rocks to hide under. Granted, roaches are hard to kill but still. I’m gonna need them to give us something better than Maggie being Pope’s enemy simply because she didn’t want to give up her home without a fight because this is frankly unbelievable and bordering on stupid.

Alright. So they’ve obviously been sowing the seeds of distrust and defiance between Leah and Pope because she doesn’t like losing family but Daryl? Man? You and Leah have differing opinions about how family operates. Trust me on this.

So. Three teams, huh? Aaron fighting the windmill fire, Carol repairing the breach in the wall, Rosita protecting the babies that represent their future. Choose your fighters, lol. Seriously, though. Why do I have the sinking feeling only one group is going to be shown actually doing their thing?

Listen. Am I pissed we haven’t gotten the scene we deserve yet between Carol and Connie after all that’s happened and we’re getting crumbs mainly because Angela wrongly feels the Reapers/Maggie & Negan/Daryl & Leah need more focus? Absolutely. You bet your sweet asses. But Melissa fucking McBride just took the crumbs allotted her and made a magnificent, work of art cake out of it trying all on her lonesome to feed us starving Carol fans.

Bless Connie wanting wanting to go with Carol. What a show of trust and sister-like solidarity that must have some hate-rotted guts about to turn themselves out.

I love Kelly and Connie’s sister bond. No ill will intended, but It takes the good parts of Maggie and Beth and elevates it beyond anything those two ever showed us. I really feel like that’s a testament to Angel and Lauren’s real life ease with each other.

Magna choosing to go with Aaron makes me wonder if it’s possible she feels some kind of residual guilt over Connie. Not guilt for anything she’s actually done, but simply guilt over making it out.

Virgil volunteering to help. Okay. Damn. I’m honestly starting to like the guy.

Judith offering to go with her aunt Carol had me all up in my feels. I mean, granted. It was a blink and you miss it scene. We really deserved a longer heart to heart between that little girl and the woman that’s sacrificed so much to keep her safe and loved her for so long, but you know I’ll gobble any and all Judith/Aunt Carol content up. Seems to me, Little Ass Kicker is just as afraid of letting Aunt Carol out of her sight as Uncle Daryl. My heart.

Gracie and Aaron are sweet. And honestly? I find them more realistic and true to what normal parents and children would be like in a ZA than Judith and Michonne no matter how much I love that bond. I mean no disrespect, but I really do.

“Why am I keeping you around?” Pope asking the question we’re all wondering.

Not Apocalypse Popeye comparing Daryl to a stray dog. Joe from the Claimers already declared Daryl an outside cat that thought he was an indoor cat. I did have to internally cheer when Daryl was like “I’m ain’t gonna lick it” talking about the helping hand Pope had extended him.

“Somehow she has turned the dead against the living. Oh, that’s impressive.” The thing about Pope respecting Maggie so much as an enemy is I just find it hard to buy, lol. Like if this had been Carol, yeah. But Maggie? Nope. They’ve mostly shown her (with Gage being the bewildering exception) to be all bark and no bite.

Has the house in ASZ really become that dilapidated that they can see through its walls? Because its original owners dodged a bullet if so.

Look at Grace hero-worshipping Judith. It’s sweet.

Virgil telling Judith Michonne would be proud of her is nice but doesn’t feel as earned as if someone like Daryl or Carol that actually knew Michonne well said it. But maybe that’s the whole point--Judith needs to hear it from someone she knows isn’t going to just say what she wants to hear.

Call me jaded, it was a touching scene, but also? It felt designed to allow Judith to move beyond her very normal and realistic feelings of being abandoned by Michonne, even though she gave her the “okay” herself. Like she’s still a kid. Wants don’t always line up with feelings. Anyway. Cailey continues to be a bright, shining little star and I love how she’s managed to make Judith a true amalgamation of all the people she’s loved who have loved her in return. Not just Michonne. I know people like to overlook and cheapen the fact, but it’s taken a village and entire family to raise her from infancy.

Gracie really should have known better than play in front of the windows during a storm period, but oh well. Plot point, lol.

Seriously, though. I feel like they’ve teased poor Gracie’s demise in a multitude of ways since the beginning of the season. I hope nothing ultimately comes of it but I fear it will. All I can say if the worst comes to happen is poor Aaron.

Where are Negan and Elijah though? Ouch. There they are, taking on shrapnel for the cause.

Ready the what now?

There’s ASZ’s Baby Sitter Extraordinaire! Barbara, is it? That lady’s been putting in the work since Season 5 at least.

I’ve honestly grown to love Rosita. More of her and less of Maggie, please and thank you.

“Let’s stay away from the windows.” I’m sorry but I had to LMAO at that. Still a badass moment though.

Gabe hobbling toward his assigned sentinel. At least they haven’t forgotten he’s injured like they seemed to forget Daryl was near death last season before the attack on Hilltop, lol.

“It’s hard to watch something you care about change.” Listen, Leah. Chick. You and Daryl obviously never really knew each other. It’s always been obvious but I have a feeling “DIxon” is finally going to show you, spoilers or no spoilers.

WTF are they calling that thing? Sorry. I have just as hard a time understanding Pope’s accent as I do Maggie’s sometimes.

That’s not love that has Daryl telling Leah she can come with him. That’s care for somebody he used to know. There is a distinct difference that’s obviously lost on so many. How can you really and truly love someone you cannot trust? Especially in Daryl Dixon’s case?

Why does Angela hate us so much? Giving us all these Reaper scenes and leaving us to simply imagine Carol and Connie and Kelly working side by side to save the wall?

I think I honestly could have enjoyed this whole Reaper storyline more, at least a little bit anyway, had they not retrofitted a half-assed romance between Daryl and the story’s weakest link and if only they’d made it the B storyline and given earned deference to the goings-on in ASZ instead.

I wonder if Glenn taught Maggie how to hot write a car? I miss my baby Glenn.

Apocalypse Popeye is several fries short of a Happy Meal. What else is new on this show, lol?

I care for Maggie. Mostly for nostalgia’s sake and Glenn and Baby Hershel but damn, man. She’s not actually proven herself got be worth killing your entire “family” for. But are too far gone, so. We’ll make allowances.

I will say at least this episode is not as abysmally biring as last week’s episode.

Leah finally giving Pope the throat punch he’s been asking for but I’m not fooled she’s on Daryl’s side here. She’s always been on her own side.

Look at Father G returning the favor for Maggie saving him in the tower. Taking Deaver down! Poor Deaver barely saw the light of day.

Here comes that woman scorned part. I can feel it.

“Pope is dead. Dixon murdered him. He’s with the enemy.”

Please, Angela. I’m begging you. Bring Carol into this story and ramp it the fuck up. You been idling too damn long and the car is fast running outta gas.

Bitch really has to die to framing Carol’s Pookie.

Rosita and Lydia and Carol and Connie and Kelly and Magna have literally been holding up this damn show while Angela farts around with the Reapers bullshit. Honorable mention goes to Aaron but these lovely, badass ladies been putting in the real work and not getting any of the glory. You just know they’re tired AF.

Not my babies Lydia and Judith being the cliffhanger! Oh and Gracie. Angela?! A word.

Listen. Carol’s already done that fireworks trick. That Reaper dude owes her royalties. Granted, it was on a smaller scale but much more impressive for it because she was left to be the sharpshooter.

Angela has a point. It is kind of cool how Team Family have learned from their enemies and assimilated their useful points into their own cache of knowledge.

I truly feel like the Leah/Reaper storyline would have benefitted from a much stronger actress. Just saying.

I know Judith annoys some with her precociousness but Cailey just keeps teeing off on what they give her and personally? I feel she’s so very talented and light years beyond her little acting counterparts so it still works.

“They’re never gonna choose each other over the people that they’ve loved and fought for because they simply cannot really trust each other. There’s sort of, like a toxicity at the base of that relationship.” Straight from Angela’s mouth.

“At the end of the day, Daryl chose his family.” Yeah, he did. That “I belong with you” shit only happened when he felt they were all gone, including the one he loved above all others--Carol. Fight me.

Overall impression of the episode?

On its own, disregarding how much I can’t help resenting how much time I feel has been “wasted” setting this story up, it was much more entertaining than Episode 7 which was only epic in that it was an epic bore. There was still too much focus on the Reapers when I just just kept wanting to see what was happening at ASZ. I mean, they cheated us out of Carol and Connie and Kelly working together. Of Aaron and Magna. Call it personal preference coloring my opinions if you want, but the characters I care about feel like they’ve been shown the backseat for this self-indulgent exploration of Angela’s OC and her version of self-insert FF with Daryl Dixon. If we can return to Team Family? The whole Team Family and not just Maggie and Co. against the world? You’ve got me. If not? Well. You’ll keep losing me by degrees and you don’t want to do that on the final season.

Anyway. The ASZ parts were my favorites per usual. The episode could have used a lot more of those.

#The Walking Dead #Season 11 #TWD spoilers #things that make me smile and cry #for reasons

7 notes · View notes

yuta-nakamots · 4 years

Text

Candle Light - l.hc ; Part 2 of 2 (End)

Pairing - College!Haechan x Ghost!Reader

Genre - Fluff but mostly angst at the end

Warnings - Character death, supernatural activity (you are literally a ghost)

Summary - As the resident ghost that haunts your old apartment, you take pride in scaring away those who dare move in, not wanting them to ruin your memories. Though your mission changes after a group of boys arrive. These are the four boys you allow into your space and your heart. One of them is the candle that supports you, and you are the fire that burns atop it, his beacon of light.

Word Count - 6.2k

A/N - as always, credit goes to @soleilhyuck for coming up with the idea for this fic. thank you for patiently waiting and giving lots of love to this series and please look forward to frat boy!yuta next month as well <3

Tag List - @sunflowerhae @eunsangelical @soleilhyuck @neoyoungho @carefreebubble @sly-merlin @jisungismymom @jimelonji @lyraaacle @peachy-yabbay @yomanitsgonnabehee

January 2020

News about the new virus was quickly spreading, as was the disease itself, unironically. You sat next to Renjun as he watched the news on TV and played a game on his phone while Jeno was lying on the floor in front of the coffee table as he typed out an essay on his laptop.

You watched as the newscaster stood in front of a graph showing the number of cases spiking up as he said “all local colleges will be migrating to an online schooling system for the second half of this year” to which Jeno let out a loud groan at.

“How the fuck am I supposed to do all my labs then?” he muttered under his breath, angrily hitting the carpeted floor. You laughed at his childish action, Jeno’s head whipping around as he looked in your general direction with his pupils shaking as he tried to find a face to match the voice he had just heard.

“Hey y/n, I think Jeno can hear you,” Renjun said nonchalantly as he continued watching the news station on TV, “okay, Jeno wait I think you should pay attention to the screen.”

He informed the other boy just in time as the anchor said “certain schools have disclosed that some students may still be required to return to campus for activities such as labs or other assessment events.”

Jeno rolled onto his back, letting out another groan that was almost actually a growl. “I don’t know which is worse. Having to go to school during a pandemic, or having to learn from my computer 24/7.”

February 2020

As more plans for the second semester were announced, Jeno did end up having to still visit the campus for his labs so he was occasionally out along with Jaemin who was volunteering at a hospital nearby, the same one your body was taken to after the incident, not that you’d ever tell them that though.

Jaemin had convinced Renjun to come along saying “we need extra help and it’s not like you’re doing anything anyways now that class is online” as he quite literally dragged Renjun out the front door.

This left you with Haechan, who was only able to see you in certain instances because he was still not totally sure if you really existed or not. He still used the scented candles in his room, much to your distaste, since you found yourself having to put out the flame nearly every night due to his forgetfulness.

He’d spend almost every waking moment on his computer playing Overwatch and whatever other games he was into, only stopping when we had to attend his mandatory online lectures. Even then, he’d still have the game up on his screen, barely even caring about the lecture.

Eventually, this irritated you enough, having been quite a good student yourself, to the point where you just lost it when you saw him pull up his school account and you peered over his shoulder and realizing how bad his grades really were.

“You shouldn’t do that, you know.” You spoke to him, hovering behind him as you read through the contents of his student profile.

Haechan froze for a second, surprised by your voice though he didn’t make an effort to turn around. “Well, you shouldn’t just scare people like that.” He retorted at you.

“Then don’t take your college life for granted,” you remark, not missing the high amount of absences he had even though all his courses were online, “I would’ve loved to have completed mine, but that just didn’t seem to be in my life plan now, was it?” You asked rhetorically, your voice laced with sarcasm to match his.

“What are you gonna do about it, huh?” He spat out at you. “You can’t force me to study.”

You rolled your eyes at him even if he couldn’t see you as you scoffed, “yes I can.” Quite literally, you moved through his desk and unplugged his computer from its power socket. A satisfactory grin fell upon your face as you heard his monitor die out and you look at him. His mouth was slightly agape as he finally saw you up close, your previously translucent figure becoming clearer and clearer to him with every second that passed.

From then on, Haechan consciously made an effort to cut back on his gaming and dedicate more time to his schoolwork, as he hated not knowing when you’d decide to pop into his room again and he didn’t want to risk more damage to his precious computer.

Sometimes he’d spend so much time studying that he’d even fall asleep at his desk, to which you could only sigh at as you fanned out the flames of his stupid scented candles that he continued to use before grabbing his blanket from his bed and placing it atop his shoulders.

March 2020

You found that you actually quite enjoyed spending time with Haechan as he was more entertaining and witty than Renjun. Though on a particularly slow afternoon, you watched Haechan as he went about making a sandwich in the kitchen, making yourself known to him by a light tug on his shirt before he asked “so why exactly do you haunt this apartment?”

You were leaning against the kitchen island behind him, not even having bothered to materialize in your semi-human form since you let him pick and choose when he wanted to see you or not. “If I’m being honest, I really don’t know. All I’m sure about is that this unit is my unit. It always has been and it always will be.”

“Well, what are your ties to this place? What does it mean to you?” He pressed on as he grabbed a slice of bologna from the refrigerator.

After pausing for a second as you recall your past, you told him “this is where I grew up, my parents moved here when I started elementary school and I’ve lived here for almost twenty years until I died and ever since then, I’ve just been here.”

“I’m sorry,” he interjected, looking at you and making eye contact to let you know he was being sincere, “I really am. You had so much to live for, your whole life ahead of you.” He shook his head in pity as he unwrapped a piece of cheese.

“Things don’t always go according to your plan, as you can see,” you stated before continuing on with your story, “anyways, my family moved out shortly after my incident because my sister would always cry whenever she had to pass the spot I was last alive at and eventually my parents couldn’t take it anymore so they just up and left.”

Haechan was unscrewing the lid of the jar of mayonnaise when he asked “why didn’t you stop them? Or did you try but they just weren’t able to see you?”

“They couldn’t see or hear me. I tried calling out to them, telling them I was still here, I was still alive, but nothing worked...and so they left me behind.” Your voice trailing off at the end as you felt a familiar pain in your chest at the memory of your family.

Haechan hummed in acknowledgment, spreading pieces of lettuce over the top of his sandwich, going silent before speaking again. “I think you need closure. Do you know where your family went to? I’m pretty sure we could--”

“No, I’d rather not talk to them.” You interrupted, not wanting to witness your family in pain again after having to watch them mourn your death in this very apartment. To them, you were a thing of the past and you wished to stay that way.

“You can’t just be cursed to wander around this unit for the rest of your life, or lack thereof. That’s a bit…” he paused as he wracked his brain for a word, turning up blank, “sad, for lack of a better word.”

You watched as he placed a slice of bread on top and pressed it down before biting into his creation. “It’s not like it was my choice in the first place, you know,” you strongly articulated, “if you really wanted to help me then you’d leave this place and let me wander in peace now that you know my story.”

“We both know damn well that you’re not gonna be happy if we leave you on your own.” And the most surprising part of his statement was that he was right.

April 2020

After your previous conversation with Haechan, the two of you started avoiding each other and you ended up spending more time with Jeno when he eventually came around to being able to see you. He was more of an easygoing presence and he didn’t mind it when you stayed in his room, he just asked that you “don’t mess with my stuff like when you stacked all my books up and turned my clothes inside out” the memory of it still makes you laugh to yourself.

You felt bad for Jeno, seeing him come home already exhausted from his labs and lectures, letting out a loud sigh whenever he entered through the front door as he was finally able to take off his face mask and allow himself to take a deep breath of air.

You’d often find him dozing off at his desk, his face resting either on his arm or on whatever page he had been going over. Sometimes, if you knew the assignment was important or if the deadline was near, you’d try to keep him awake by doing this like clicking his book or dropping a book on the floor. But if he was really knocked out, all you could do was just plug in his electronics to let them charge before bookmarking his page and clearing his desk for him.

On the night of his 20th birthday, the boys decided to have their own mini-party, which you excused yourself from. You didn’t want to get in the way of their celebration since you didn’t know for sure where you stood with Haechan and that’s on top of the fact that Jaemin still didn’t believe in your existence.

You stayed in Jeno’s room, softly plucking at the strings of his guitar which he had kindly left out for you. He had previously voiced his worries about you getting bored from always staying in the unit, which you found quite cute of him.

He came back to his room around midnight and you watched as he drunkenly made his way to the bathroom, stumbling in and nearly tripping over his own feet. You heard him throwing up into the toilet but you stayed put, knowing that you wouldn’t be of much help anyway. You recognized the sound of Haechan’s voice as he entered from his own side and tried to clean Jeno up.

Moments later, Haechan came into the room carrying a near unconscious Jeno to the bed you were currently sitting on. All Haechan had to do was merely glance at you before you were already materializing in human form to put Jeno’s guitar back on its stand and help Haechan get the birthday boy into bed.

Once Jeno was tucked in and snoring, you looked up at Haechan and he nodded his head in the direction of his room, inviting you to come over with him, which you did without much hesitation. You sat on the edge of his bed as he started up his computer as he asked you “don’t you ever get tired of just staying in the apartment all the time?”

You watched as he typed in his login information as you responded, “kind of, I guess. It’s all I know so it’s not like I really have anywhere else to go.”

“Have you ever tried leaving the building, or this unit at all?” He inquired while pulling up a page on google.

You thought for a moment before answering him. “No, I’ve never really wanted to leave because I’m comfortable here.”

Haechan simply nodded and stated “fair enough” as he switched tabs before turning to you. “I found this article the other day and I think this is relevant to you.” He informed, beckoning you over to him. You moved closer and read it from over his shoulder.

Certain spirits roam the earth as ghosts due to their souls holding onto the regret they had while they were still living. It is common for these types of ghosts to stay in a place that they have special emotional ties to. They often try to scare away people who enter their sacred place as they are trying to preserve it as it is in their memory, resisting change. There have been successful cases of exorcism for these types of ghosts, though oftentimes, it serves to only anger them further, which is why exorcism is not recommended. Edit: It has been found that the spirits often pass on to the true afterlife once they let go of the regrets they are holding and free themselves from the baggage that is tying them to their sacred place.

“Haechan, I already told you, I’m not leaving.”

“But think about it, you can’t just continue existing with one foot in the afterlife, one foot in the during-life,” causing you to laugh at his wording, “aren’t there other dead people you’d like to meet? You know, like Michael Jackson or something?”

“Of course, but how would you know if there really is an afterlife where I could meet them?”

“I don’t, but aren’t you getting tired of just watching people come and go? Aren’t you curious about the existence of an afterlife? You’ve been here for what, two years?”

“Three years.” You corrected, though he was correct about your boredom and curiosity even if it really was just in the slightest form.

You weren’t looking forward to when the boys moved out as it meant you’d be left on your own again. You had grown used to the four of them since you had at least one of them home at nearly all times. You didn’t want them to leave and you had even though about asking them to stay, but you knew it would be unfair to them as they had previously talked about their future educational plans.

Renjun already was in the process of transferring to a school or arts to further hone his skills as he was nearing the completion of his traditional core credits. Jeno wanted to study abroad and experience different cultures while Jaemin simply would follow along, having promised both of their parents that he would look out for Jeno and make sure he didn’t overwork himself though oftentimes it was the other way around.

As finals came around again, you witnessed the boys and their ways of dealing with the stress of their exams. Renjun simply painted aggressively while Jeno started stretching and working out more often and Jaemin, who still wasn’t able to hear or see you, resorted to cooking. You couldn’t believe Haechan broke out those godforsaken candles yet again, even after you had voiced your hatred for them, having to put out their flames and clean up the dripping wax as to not cause a fire hazard.

One day, Jaemin was finally able to see a faint outline of your silhouette when you managed to catch the knife he had accidentally pushed off the counter while preparing dinner for the guys. He really didn’t believe them when they spoke of your existence, he simply thought it was some kind of odd prank they were all in on, but when he saw his knife floating mere centimeters above his foot, he realized they weren’t lying at all.

Ever since then, you’ve enjoyed hanging around with all four of the boys. They each introduced you to their hobbies and did their best at including you in as many activities as possible. Renjun was overjoyed when he saw you lift a brush from his case and when you asked if you could join him. He was painting a simple sunset and was more than happy to have your company. Renju let you paint any way you wished, only helping here and there to blend in your strokes and fix some of the color gradients.

After it dried, you stood back as he hung the canvas up in the living room with a broad smile on his face. He turned around and you watched as his expression morphed into one of confusion when he didn’t see you behind him and he called out your name. You felt a sense of anxiety creep up on you, reminiscent of the feeling of when your own family were not about to see you.

You knew Renjun had it easiest when it came to seeing and hearing you so why was he having a hard time now? “Oh, there you are.” He said, when you came into his view again, seemingly lightheartedly but it was hard for both of you to feel at ease after what just occurred.

It happened again when you were with Jeno as he was teaching you how to play a few chords on his guitar, something you had always wanted to do in your active lifetime. The two of you had been going at it for about an hour now and things were going pretty smoothly aside from Jeno having to help press the strings down when your own fingers weren’t enough.

You were able to learn a few simple chords separately but right before you were able to string them all together, the guitar suddenly fell through your hold into Jeno’s hands that were helping you apply pressure to the strings. He let out a noise of surprise as he too could no longer see your form.

He blinked rapidly, thinking it was his own eyes playing tricks on him until you saw him relax as both of you witnessed your own body flicker back into existence. This time, there was definitely no denying what just happened.

Later that night you went to Haechan and told him both accounts of what was going on and you broke down in tears, telling him how you didn’t want to leave them just yet. He rubbed your back as you clung on to his shirt, your tears would’ve been soaking it if you weren’t a ghost.

As much as you wanted to stay in his embrace, he told you that he had to study for an upcoming final so you instead settled for lying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling as you let your mind wander through all the what-ifs going through your head.

You’re not sure how much time passed before Haechan finally climbed into his bed, throwing an arm over your waist. No sooner than before he lifted his head to speak to you, his arm dropped through your body and fell onto his bed. The shock was evident on his face as he watched you fade out from his view.

Haechan frantically reached out, trying to grasp onto something, anything to tell him that you were still there as he called out your name. You did the same to him, but your cries fell on deaf ears until one of your hands managed to grab ahold of his and he found your eyes, the fear in his mirroring your own.

You laid with Haechan as he slept that night, scared that you’d cease to exist if he weren’t by your side to validate your presence every so often.

May 2, 2020

One night, as all of you were in the living room watching a show on Netflix, as per Renjun’s recommendation, you mentioned these repeated occurrences to them causing a thick silence to fall over everyone as they processed what this possibly meant for you.

Again, you sought out Haechan’s comfort that night and stayed by his side as he slept because being with him made you feel the slightest bit more real, even when his arm dropped from your waist again.

Now that finals week was over, the boys were home more often, though Jaemin still continued to work and volunteer at the hospital with Renjun, leaving you with Jeno and Haechan. Not much changed as you still continued to stick to Haechan like glue.

May 14, 2020

About two weeks after you had first brought up the topic of your frequency disappearances, you were lying next to Haechan in his bed as you both watched videos on his phone. He abruptly turned it off and turned to face you. “Have you ever been in a relationship before?”

You shook your head, “no, I was always too bust for one.”

“Did you want to be in one? Do you want to be in one?” You froze as you looked at him, not sure if he meant what you’re thinking he means. “On a scale from one to ten, how mad would you be right now if I told you I might have feelings for you?”

You thought for a moment before responding. “Depends on if you’re being serious or not.”

“I’m dead serious. Okay, maybe not dead, but you know what I mean.” He said, poking fun at his word choice.

“Do you really like me?” You asked, unsure if you were thinking clearly.

“Yes,” he paused, “but only if you like me back.”

“Is this just a spur of the moment thing or have you actually had feelings for me before this?” You could feel your cheeks heating up and you were suddenly grateful that he couldn’t see you as if you were a normal human.

“For a while now.” He stated, shrugging his shoulders as if it were nothing.

Your eyes grew wide in shock. “I...Haechan, as much as I’m flattered, we both know it’s not going to work out,” your voice getting caught in your throat, “you’re human, you’re still alive. There’s someone out there for you--”

“Okay and?”

“There’s someone who you can hold, someone you can kiss and make love to, someone you can have a family with--”

“And what if that someone is you?” He interrupted again. “What if you’re the someone I want to hold, to kiss, to spend time with?”

“Haechan...I don’t know…” Your voice coming out as more of a whisper.

His eyes searched yours as he spoke. “Just let me kiss you...please.”

You let out a small “okay” as your eyes fluttered shut and you felt his lips meet yours. He showed you the warmth you didn’t know you could even feel as you allowed yourself to melt into his kiss. Had it not been for your body disintegrating again and causing Haechan to fall forward, you probably would’ve stayed kissing him until he was begging for air.

“I guess that’s the universe telling me to give you a break for a bit.” He chuckled while he grabbed his phone and unpaused the video he was playing earlier as he waited for you to appear again. You didn’t have to look at him to know there was a smile plastered on his face as you wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled your face into his chest the very second you could.

If you were considered to be clingy with Haechan, now you were practically inseparable.

May 17, 2020

It was a rare occurrence for all four of them to be home together during the day so Jaemin took it as an opportunity to gather everyone for lunch. He didn’t even knock as he opened the door to Haechan’s room, sticking his head in to say “lunch is ready. I made kimchi stew. Oh, hey y/n, haven’t seen you in a while.”

You whined in embarrassment due to the fact that you were currently seated in Haechan’s lap as he practically held you like a baby, cooing at you and littering kisses across your face.

Once Jaemin was gone, Haechan pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed. You know that?” He said, ruffling your hair out of affection.

May 19, 2020

You watch with great interest as Haechan lugs a box into his bedroom and cuts it open, revealing an electronic keyboard. He had told you previously that he wanted to get back into playing piano, having played it when he was younger. You didn’t think he was actually serious enough about it to buy a whole keyboard which, from the looks of it, seemed pretty expensive.

You sat in his gaming chair as you watched him assemble the stand, handing him scissors when he asked and holding things in place when his own two hands weren’t enough. You didn’t trust yourself to do much else in case you randomly disappeared again. Your lips curved upwards as he plugged the keyboard into the socket on the wall and played a few chords, his own smile matching yours.

May 20, 2020

Sighing, you floating your way into Haechan’s room as you notice his sleeping figure hunched over his desk, a little string of drool landing on the lined paper he was writing on. Given that school was already over, you figured it was song lyrics that he was writing.

Haechan, along with getting back into playing piano, had also picked up song composition and lyric writing as well though he refused to show you any of the lyrics he wrote and claimed he’d be embarrassed if you saw them to which you rolled your eyes at. Haechan? Embarrassed? Now that was a rarity given that he was one of the most confident people you’ve ever met, not even bothering to cover himself up the few times you accidentally came in while he was changing his clothes.

But as confident as he was, he had yet to channel that into his lyric writing as he kept falling asleep after hours of trying to get them perfect. You fan out the candle he had been using and run your finger across his lip, gathering his drool, in order to prevent his from further wetting his paper.

You tried to slowly pull the paper out from under his head, doing your best to not wake him up, though your efforts were in vain as his eyes shot open the second you tugged a little too hard. It took Haechan only a second or two to figure out what you were doing before he snatched the paper from you while whining “I told you not to read them” as he puts it in a folder filled with other papers which you assume are also lyrics.

“I was only moving it so you wouldn’t drool on it like a baby.” You scoffed at him.

Haechan imitated your scoff back at you, “don’t lie,” he quipped, “I know you were going to read it as soon as you got your hands on it.”

“You know, you better quit it or else you’re sleeping alone tonight.” You threatened, knowing that your boyfriend of sorts has gotten used to your presence in his bed while he slept.

“No!” He exclaimed, his eyes growing wide in panic before he dove for his bed and gave you puppy eyes, begging you not to leave him.

May 25, 2020

At this point, your disappearances had become more frequent and lasted for longer durations, leaving the boys constantly guessing as to where you were. You could barely muster up the force to show yourself in your human form and physically move objects so you were glad when you realized they could all see you in your regular blue-tinted ghost state.

You considered yourself lucky when they told you they could still feel the gusts of wind you created while moving around, even when you became invisible. It may look stupid to you when you were rapidly moving your arms back in forth to let them know where you are, but it’s not like you cared when you knew they couldn’t see you anyways.

On this day, you were watching a show on TV with Renjun, though he could only vaguely sense your presence. When you heard the sink in the kitchen turn on, you left your seat and floated through the wall to see if it was Jaemin cooking again. Much to your surprise, it was Haechan who was actually doing the dishes for once.

You moved around behind him, alerting him of your presence. “Hey babe, came to do the dishes with me?” You rolled your eyes and rapidly fanned his neck, something you knew he hated because he was ticklish in that area. “Okay, okay, I get it.” He giggled while scrunching his neck.

“Is y/n with you in the kitchen?” Renjun called out from the living room. Haechan shouted back a short ‘yes’ to which you heard Renjun respond back with a slight laugh in his voice, “I thought she was still with me so I was talking about the show but I guess I was just talking to myself this whole time.”

May 29, 2020

No matter how much energy you concentrated, you just couldn’t seem to show yourself in your human form at all. You weren’t completely invisible to the boys yet, just fading in and out of your normal ghost forme every so often, though if you really tried hard enough, you could force yourself to become visible again, even if it were only for a few seconds. You saved your energy for more important moments like when Haechan shot up from his place next to you in bed, sweating from the nightmare he was having.

For the past half hour or so, you watched him as he writhed in his sleep and you felt your heart wrench knowing there was nothing you could do to rouse him from his sleep, unable to do your normal actions of slamming windows or dropping books so you felt a sense of relief when he jolted awake and looked over to where he knew you’d be, his eyes searching for the outline of your body to give him some comfort.

You forced yourself to show up, glowing faintly in the darkened room as Haechan was able to catch your silhouette before it disappeared again. His eyes bore straight into yours, even if you knew that to him, he was simply staring at a wall so you didn’t move, not wanting to leave his gaze as he spoke to you.

“Y/n, I hope you know that every moment I spend with you is precious to you. Whether I can see you or not, I know when you’re with me.” He confessed, his eyes starting to tear up. “I can only hope that I am making your last moments precious for you as well.”

You hoped so desperately to have enough strength to show yourself again to let him know that you heard him and felt the same way, but you were unable to. Your own wet eyes mirrored his as you reached out a hand to cup his face, a tear slipping out of your eyes as you watch your hand merely fall through his cheek.

June 2, 2020

You’ve come to terms with the fact that your time on earth is running out when you can only seem to manage to materialize once or twice a day, lasting for only about a second each time. You were upset that you didn’t get to say a true goodbye to the other three boys, wanting to thank them for taking such good care of you. Maybe you just so hoped that this regret would keep you with them longer, if only for a few more days.

June 4, 2020

When Haechan returns to his room after eating breakfast with the rest of the guys, you watch as he sits down in front of his keyboard before turning around to face his bed, where he’s guessing you were as he spoke. “Y/n, I wrote this song for you. I don’t know how much longer I have left with you so I rushed the ending of it, but I wanted to show you now before it’s too late.”

With that, he turned back around and began playing a melody you had heard from him before though it was different this time around now that he was singing the lyrics he wrote for you.

Like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Moments with you are always special. I’m thankful for all the days we spend together, At times like this I get shy, but it means I love you. When I see you brightly smiling and dazzling, My wish of us being together forever seems like it’ll come true. I know the future isn’t clear and the past might be sad, But don’t worry anymore. Just keep adding days like this. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, I only have plans filled with you, I think it’s perfect. In my heart, my dreams were possible through you, I want to fulfill them all with you. I’m not alone, I’m with you, When I needed someone, you came to me. Even in the ordinary, I celebrate your preciousness, Please always stay by my side.

I want to give you gift-like days, you and me, me and you baby. Without leaving behind a single day, it’s only us. Like candlelight that never goes out, My wish of us being together forever seems like it’ll come true.

June 5, 2020

If you’re being completely honest with yourself, you’ve practically given up trying to make your whereabouts known to the boys, though they continued to speak to you as they estimated your location and if you were even present in the same room or not.

You wanted to tell Haechan how much you loved the song he wrote, but you were unable to. You wanted to do something for his birthday but you barely had enough strength to walk yourself from the balcony back into his room.

For the first time within the last four years of your existence, you felt tired. You had forgotten this feeling, what it was like to be tired and suddenly you remembered when all you wanted to do was lie down and sleep.

It was late already, the digital clock on Haechan’s desk reading 11:48pm as he stepped out from the bathroom, freshly showered. You eyed him, wanting to get up and kiss him all over, to give him the same love he gave to you, and you felt so helpless when you knew you wouldn’t be able to.

He lay down in his bed with his hair still slightly wet. “Can you believe it’s already been a whole year since we first moved in?” He turned his head, guessing at where your face was but returning his gaze to the ceiling to not make you feel bad before continuing on. “I never would’ve believed in ghosts if I hadn’t met you but now I’m always gonna think all ghosts are as sweet as you and that’s not good,” he said as he let out a laugh at the end, “I’m going to get myself killed if I try talking to a ghost that isn’t as kind and loving as you.”

Haechan went silent for a bit before continuing on. “But you would never let that happen right? You’ll be my angel watching down on me from above,” he paused as a sly smile appeared on his face, “or you’ll be my little demon waiting for me in hell.” He snicked to himself at his joke. “Ah, you’re probably trying to hit me right now. Don’t worry, I’ll do it myself.” And with that, he slapped his own cheek before telling you “I really love you and I hope you know that.”

June 6, 2020

As soon as the clock’s display changed to 12:00am, Haechan’s door burst open, revealing the other three boys with party hats atop their heads as they carried in a small cake with two candles on it, showing his new age of twenty. They began singing happy birthday and you even sang along with them, clapping your hands to the beat, even if they couldn’t hear you.

“Make a wish!” Renjun exclaimed once the song was over.

Haechan clasped his hands together as he closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Y/n, I know you’re still here. Before you go, please do this one last time for me.” He reopened his eyes and looked over at where he assumed you were and gestured towards the cake. You felt your heart swell with love as you took a final glance at him before using all your remaining energy to blow out the candle.

When the flame of the candle went out, so did your view of the world. Everything faded to black as your fire was extinguished, letting you rest in peace as Haechan’s candlelight.

121 notes · View notes

charincharge · 4 years

Text

Cruel Summer, Part 1

cruel summer masterlist

AN: It’s here. Idk what the posting schedule will be like, I have no idea what my writing schedule will be like, but... I think it’s gonna be 25ish chapters? Maybe? Who knows. It’s gonna be fun, I think. I hope. Looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts. Alright... without further ado...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rowan Whitethorn is having a really horrible day. Not just the kind of bad that he can shrug off, but the kind that seeps through his skin and sinks into his bones, that permeates even the smallest thing, turning everything into a giant annoyance.

First, he missed his alarm, so his grumpy manager, Lorcan, has been even grumpier with him since he pulled through the gates of Ashryver Playland this morning. The amusement park job is less than ideal. Rowan hadn’t planned for his summer to be taking tickets and cleaning up melted ice cream cones from sweaty-faced teens – but it was the only place that called him back, and he doesn’t come from the type of family that can afford to pay his rent. So unless Rowan had wanted to spend the summer in his mom’s unairconditioned apartment, dodging set ups with her mahjong circle’s daughters, this was his only option.

It's nearly 3PM, and Rowan still hasn’t been able to take his lunch break. He knows that’s adding to his bad attitude. Rowan has a tendency to get hangry, or so his coworker Fenrys tells him. And because he was in a rush this morning, he forgot to pack his lunch. Which means he’ll have to spend money buying overpriced crap at the park.

Rowan’s also on trash duty today. Which means he gets to spend the whole day circling the park grounds with a giant broom and pan and pick up the fallen bits of funnel cake and popcorn and soda cups and dump them into the closest trash. Then, once those are full, he gets to haul the heavy bags of stinking trash all the way to the back of the park where the dumpsters are. It’s pretty much his worst nightmare. Though Rowan isn’t opposed to physical activity, he’s not super fond of smelling like rancid garbage. He tugs at the collar of the too tight uniform polo shirt stretching uncomfortably across his chest and frowns. After a bag split all over him earlier, Rowan was forced to go diving in the employee lost and found for another uniform. Apparently, the only person who’s missing a shirt is two times smaller than him. He sniffs himself and nearly gags. He can’t wait to get home and shower. He look at his watch … in … five more hours.

“Whitethorn,” Lorcan calls, crossing across the yard at him. “Take your thirty now. Then you’re taking over for Connall at the ferris wheel ‘til closing, yeah?”

Rowan barely contains a shudder upon hearing his new assignment. He hates trash, but working the ferris wheel is somehow worse. He didn’t realize until last week that’s where every middle schooler goes on their first make out date. He’s had to pull too many kids off the ride, feeling like their disapproving father as he pulled their clashing braces apart to make room for the next patrons in line. Frankly, he finds PDA disgusting. And the sight of thirteen-year-olds going at it is enough to scar him for life.

At least Rowan finally gets to eat something, though. The oppressive mid-day heat combined with hours of physical labor and no fuel has him feeling like he could keel over any second. He grunts his acknowledgement at Lorcan and makes his way to the closest concessions stand, which luckily has barely a line – I guess since it’s 3 fucking PM and not actually lunch time. Rowan is about to step forward when he feels tiny fingers poke against the back of his knees. He’s about to snap at whatever parent to keep their kid on a tighter leash when he realizes there is no parent, just a kid – and the kid is, in fact, trying to get his attention.

“Um, excuse me? Sir?” the little boy says. Rowan’s never been a sir before. He hates it.

“Yeah?”

“I think I lost my family,” he says resolutely, not sounding even a little bit scared. “Can you help me find them?”

Rowan’s stomach grumbles and his head pounds. He knows he has to return this child to his family, but he also knows he needs to eat immediately or he’s going to lose it.

“We can absolutely do that,” Rowan begins, “but I haven’t eaten all day. Do you think you can wait like… ten minutes?”

The little boy nods and sticks out his hand. “I’m Gavin and I’m five.”

“Hey, Gavin. I’m Rowan and I’m hungry.” Gavin giggles at that, and Rowan finally cracks a smile and shakes the boy’s hand.

Rowan steps up to order, thinking about what’s going to be the fastest, since his thirty minute break is going to include an unforeseen detour to security at the entryway of the park. “Can I get a hot dog, a pretzel, a cherry coke and…” He looks at the little boy next to him. “Anything for you?”

Gavin’s eyes widen with glee. “Cotton candy?!”

“…and a cotton candy.”

Rowan reluctantly hands over a $20, saying goodbye to three hours of hard work. But he has no choice. They get their food and make their way to the eating tent. Rowan keeps his eyes open for anyone looking panicked or in search of a child, but he doesn’t see anyone who fits the bill.

Rowan inhales his hot dog in record speed and takes a giant gulp of his cherry coke and immediately feels better. Sitting under the shade of the tent helps, too. The pair sit quietly and eat their food. Gavin swings his legs happily as he peels off pieces of his cotton candy, licking the sticky sugar from his fingers.

“So…” Rowan has no idea how to talk to a kid, but he figures he should ask him a few questions to figure out who to return him to, at least. “Who are you here with today? You said your family?”

Gavin nods excitedly, the sugar clearly starting to make its way through his tiny body. “Yup! My whole family is here today. My mom, my dad, Auntie Ae, Nana and Grandpa.”

“Wow.” Rowan’s heart tugs slightly. “That’s fun. Any special occasion?”

“Nope. We come every week,” Gavin says.

“Every week?” Rowan asks, his voice rising in pitch. He’s trying to do the math of the ticket prices. $30 for six family members. That’s $180. For every week of the summer…? Rowan’s mental math skills stop there, but he knows that’s a LOT more than he’s ever been able to casually throw down.

“Yup. Since I was a baby,” Gavin says. “It’s my family’s special place.”

“Think your family would adopt me?” Rowan jokes. He loves his mom a lot, and she did the absolute best job raising him, but they’ve never had a special place. His mom thinks adding guacamole to her Chipotle bowl is special. Not that Rowan disagrees. Guacamole is a perfect condiment.

Gavin finishes his last lick of cotton candy and holds his red hands up at Rowan. “I’m sticky.”

Rowan shoves the final bite of his pretzel into his mouth and stands up. “Me too. Let’s go wash our hands and then find your family. Sound good?”

Gavin nods, skipping next to Rowan, his little shoes lighting up as he matches the striding pace. They make their way to the row of porta-potties and outdoor sinks, which line the side of the park. As Rowan washes his hands, he notices Gavin struggling to reach the stream of water. Of course. He’s only five.

“Need a hand?” Rowan asks, and Gavin nods, holding his arms up to be lifted. Rowan’s arms burn, since he’s been picking up giant bags of trash all day, but he manages to keep Gavin mid-air until he’s finished cleaning the sugary crystals from his hands. He’s putting Gavin back on the ground when he hears a loud voice shrieking behind him –

“YOU! SIR, STEP AWAY FROM THE CHILD!”

Damn it.

Rowan sighs and turns, letting his hold on Gavin drop completely. This is so not what he needs right now.

“Gavin, honey, come here,” the voice calls again.

Rowan searches to see who the voice belongs to and is momentarily stunned. Gavin’s mom is… young. And hot. Her golden blonde hair is swept away from her face in a high ponytail, resting softly down her bare back, on display in a strappy yellow tank top. And her jean shorts show off her long, tanned legs. Rowan stares a beat too long because the next thing he hears is, “Gavin, earmuffs,” and suddenly the blonde woman is inches away from him, in his face and pushing at his chest with her pointed finger. She is mad.

“Stay away from this little boy, you pervert!” The woman’s eyes flare angrily as she pushes Rowan’s chest again forcefully with her finger, and he is not having any of that. He grabs her finger in his large fist and moves it away from him, making the woman stumble back slightly. Her mouth widens into a small circle as she looks up at the man grabbing her finger.

“I’m sorry, pervert?” He chuckles humorlessly. “This little boy asked for my help finding his irresponsible family. Who lost him. I work here.” Rowan uses his other hand to point to the stupid logo on the corner of his polo. “He happened to find me on my lunch break. Maybe if you’d been a more responsible mother you wouldn’t feel the need to get this worked up the guy who was clearly about to take your kid to security.”

“Mom?” the woman says, horrified and snatches back her finger. “Oh my god.” Her demeanor shifts entirely as she looks to Gavin and motions for him to uncover his ears. “Gavin, please tell this very rude man that I am way too young and cool to be your mom.”

Gavin frowns. “I don’t think he’s rude, Auntie Ae. He gave me cotton candy.”

The woman’s eyebrows shoot up in accusation. ‘You gave him cotton candy? You’re only proving my point.”

Rowan puffs out his chest defensively. “I’m sorry, is cotton candy a sex offender favorite? I wouldn’t know.”

“You clearly offered sweets to a child to lure him away from his family!” she says way too loudly, looking around and making a show of her statement.

“Quiet down!” Rowan snipes through gritted teeth. “I need to keep this job, for fuck’s sake.”

The woman smirks and steps closer. “I think your employer deserves to know you were luring children away from their families!” she exclaims dramatically, attracting the attention of a nearby security guard.

“No,” Rowan says, his voice increasing in volume as well. He’s had it up to here with this day, and this woman has grated his last nerve. “That’s not… Listen…” Rowan takes a deep breath. He really cannot lose this job. “I was starving and about to go on my lunch break when some poor lost kid asked for help finding his family. I told him he could order something with me, since I felt bad. Sorry. I’ll be sure never to be polite ever again.”

Rowan has gotten in “Auntie Ae’s” face, and he’s breathing hard. He’s worked up, and he knows it’s not her fault, but fuck this day.

“Is everything alright here, Ms. Ashryver?” the approaching security guard asks, and Rowan pales.

The woman steps back and takes a breath, her fury melting into a warm smile for the guard. “No, Frank, everything is fine. Just thanking one of our newest employees, who made friends with Gavin today.”

The guard chuckles. “He run off again?”

The woman’s eyes flash in warning and the guard shakes his head. “Ah, don’t be mad, Aelin. You did the same exact thing when you were his age. Running from ride to ride and driving your old man crazy.”

Rowan crosses his arms as the guard saunters off, and the woman turns back to him with a shy smile.

“Ashryver, hm?” Rowan asks, feeling a little ill as he pictures the large Ashryver sign that hangs over the entryway to the park. “So, what is this, like… hazing?”

“No! I was really only going to make the one joke and then let it go,” the woman says, biting her lip guiltily and shoving her hands into her jean shorts pockets. “But then you called me his mom and I just… got carried away. I do that sometimes. I’m Aelin. Ashryver.”

“So I heard.” Rowan rolls his eyes. “You know there’s absolutely nothing funny about calling someone a predator, right? I could be arrested if the wrong person overheard that.”

“You’re making me feel very bad,” Aelin says with a grimace.

“Good,” Rowan says resolutely. “Because now I’m also late to get back to work.” He’s more than a little annoyed at how this entire exchange has played out. And even more annoyed that he can’t stop staring at Aelin’s bright blue eyes. This is the last thing he needs. He’s about to head off when –

“You’re really not going to tell me your name?” Aelin asks, tilting her head up, trying to figure Rowan out. Rowan’s about to reply when she cuts him off, not even giving him a chance. “That’s fine. I’ll find it out. I have connections, you know.”

“I’m sure you do, princess,” Rowan says. Her lips purse at the nickname, and Rowan can’t tell if she loves it or hates it.

“See you, stranger,” she replies, dismissing him and grabbing Gavin’s hand as she walks off. Just before turning the corner, she tosses her ponytail over her shoulder and looks back. It’s only when she winks at him that Rowan realizes he’s still standing motionless, watching her go.

#aelin x rowan #rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin fanfic #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction #throne of glass fanfic #aelin galythinius #cruel summer au #amusement park au #lorcan salvaterre #rowaelin fanfiction #charincharge writes #tog fanfic

279 notes · View notes

lov3nerdstuff · 4 years

Text

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 1.3}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student (however no underage romance), blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5.3k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

As she slowly walked towards the door to his office, she reminded herself that she didn't want to look intimidated, and most definitely didn't want to cry. Especially not in front of Professor Snape! Alright, maybe she was scared of him after all. Summoning all bravery left within her, Robin knocked three times, before finally sticking her head through the small space between the door and its frame, not daring to open the door any further.

"Took you long enough." Was his scolding reply to that, and Robin entered the office with careful steps while still chewing on her bottom lip. She was starting to taste the bitter sting of copper in her mouth, as her constant worrying had left her lip raw and the skin broken. Professor Snape seemed to be entirely indifferent to her nervousness. "Sit."

She complied immediately, taking a seat on a rustic but sturdy wooden chair across from him at the desk. For a short while she allowed her eyes to scan her surroundings as thoroughly as the moment would allow her, and she took in both the impressive collection of books and the astonishing variety of potions. The closer Robin looked, the more she realized that they were stacked and stashed absolutely everywhere, and yet everything seemed to follow some kind of sorting system, a certain logic she couldn't quite grasp at the first sight alone. But she appreciated it nonetheless, this intricately structured chaos that sparked her curiosity more than it intimidated her, and oddly enough she felt comfortable in his space right then. He was also just a person, a teacher with orders and rules to follow. Surely he couldn't kill her on the spot. The realization relaxed her enough to at least cease the worrying of her poor bruised lips. Her eyes shifted back to Professor Snape sitting behind the desk, and she studied his folded hands on the tabletop for a moment.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" He inquired with an eyebrow risen just enough to give an edge to the question despite the coolness of his tone, and Robin's eyes moved up to his dark ones.

She felt like someone had inflated a balloon inside her chest, and that balloon threatened to squeeze all air out of her lungs in return as she opened her mouth to reply. "I… He…" Her voice words came out croaked, while too many thoughts stumbled over each other in her mental race for a decent answer. Get a grip, Robin… "He was bullying Theresa."

Professor Snape raised an eyebrow at that, but his continued silence clearly communicated that he expected Robin to continue on, which she however had no intention to do. This was as good a reason as any, she thought, and whether he knew the truth or not didn't change the fact that she was the one in trouble right now. Almost a little defiantly, she held his gaze in silence, even if only to cover up for the way her heart raced and the fact that she felt sick to the pit of her stomach.

"And you and Miss Franklin have been friends since…?" His eyes were fixed on Robin's so intently that she could feel his gaze at the back of her head, crawling through her brain like the chill creeping up her spine. It reminded her in an odd way of wearing the sorting hat.

"We're not."

"I see…" Another interval of silence followed, while yet his eyes never left hers even for a second. Finally Robin felt uncomfortable enough to speak up once more.

"Sir… will you-... Will I be expelled now?"

His brows furrowed into a deep frown in an instant. "Don't be ridiculous, Miss Mitchell, stupidity doesn't suit you nearly as well as your classmates make it out to."

"Then… why am I here?" She dared to ask, voice small again as she tried to wrap her head around his cryptic remark. Was that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?

"You are here because you knowingly tricked your classmates into brewing babbling beverage instead of the assigned antidote!" His voice was strict, his eyes cold and hard, and Robin wished to go back to being simply disregarded by him. It was better than being scolded.

"It's not like drinking it could've made the nonsense coming from him any worse, you know…" Robin muttered under her breath as she averted her eyes at last, focusing on a medium sized glass bottle on his desk instead. It held worms, of some kind, and Robin was surprised by how little the sight repelled her. Somewhere in her mind, a tiny voice wondered what their use might be. Where they could be collected or bought. If they were cut or squished for potion making.

Once the silence of the office became too suspicious yet again, she looked back up at her professor only to find the corner of his lips turned upwards into the barest hint of a smirk. Almost startled, Robin blinked in confusion at the almost-display of emotion coming from him, and the expression vanished from his face as suddenly as it had appeared.

"Indeed, it likely wouldn't have…" He finally said, a little milder in his tone, and Robin let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Still, it would interest me not only to hear how a first year came to know about babbling beverage, but also how said first year came to the conclusion that the instructions for the antidote could be altered into making the sooner."

"I read. A lot." Robin blurted out before her brain would come up with a more intelligent response. Looking at her hands, she added so quietly that she wasn't even sure if he would hear, "And I thought his oblivion was funny."

Professor Snape rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair with a condescending sigh. "Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe there is more to consider when making a potion than just throwing together the ingredients on the list? And that thus the likelihood of successfully altering a potion without consequences of enormous gravity, at least for an inexperienced individual, is close to zero?"

"No, sir." Robin replied quietly, and her gaze dropped to her hands in her lap in shame. She felt ridiculous, embarrassed enough to wish the ground would swallow her up. Arrogance was a spiteful thing, especially when hers had been so very unwarranted. It has been five stupid weeks, and she had already believed to be on top of the world because she had gotten ONE bloody potion right.

"Do you deem Mister Downing's wrongs to be reason enough to quite possibly blow up the entire castle?"

"No, sir." That was it, she couldn't possibly embarrass herself more than she just had. In trying to prove to him that she was no complete dunderhead like everyone else, that she wanted to learn more about potions, she had only proved the very opposite.

"And, pray tell, did you seriously believe that I would tolerate such behavior in the first place?"

"No, sir." Robin's whisper was followed by yet another long moment of sobering silence, and she could feel his scrutinizing gaze lingering on her small figure as she slumped down even further into the chair.

"Contrary to popular belief, I do not overlook the wrongs done by students of my own house, nor those of any other for that matter." He sighed at last, finally releasing her from his scrutinizing watch in order to let his eyes travel over to a bookshelf on the wall. Robin had heard this rumor before, that he had a rather strong game of favoring Slytherins going on, but she hadn't yet seen any of that for herself. In class, he looked down on everyone just the same. And now, she would be punished just the same. "Tell me, Miss Mitchell, what would you deem an appropriate punishment to give now?"

"For… for the babbling beverage or for the failed essay, sir?" She winced inwardly as she spoke, hoping to not upset him any further by asking questions in the first place.

Professor Snape however, for once, looked mildly surprised by her words and lifted one eyebrow even higher in return. "Neither. I was referring to Mister Downing's repeated abuse of the English language to cover up for his admittedly justified inferiority complex."

The wheels in Robin's brain turned for a moment, then her eyes snapped up from her lap to meet his in genuine surprise. "You… had him write that essay because he's bullying people?"

Snape rolled his eyes again. He seemed to do that a lot whenever Robin spoke up. "Punishing him for bullying people would encourage that boy rather than have him reconsider his pathetic behavior. I wouldn't give him another reason to act out his hatred."

"But, I mean, you asked me about a punishment that's appropriate for him bullying people, but you also didn't want to punish him for it yourself… But then you still gave him that essay? What kind of answer do you expect me to give in the first place?"

"Isn't that obvious enough?"

For a moment, Robin thought over everything that had been said, and everything that hadn't. She didn't want to blurt out the first thing that came to her mind again, not after him just showing her that she'd literally hit rock bottom of her own misguided pride. Then a different thought graced her spinning mind and brought it to a sudden stop. "Why would you ask what punishment I would give now?"

Again she was met with a silence that urged her to continue, and this time she actually did, trying to not let him down again. "You asked what punishment I would give NOW… meaning I did, actually, punish him before already, by… by having him make the babbling beverage. But I understand that… that it was very foolish of me to act that way. My revenge only led him to have even more reason to bully m-... Theresa. And… it was stupid of me to mess with things I know practically nothing about, and arrogant to assume I knew enough about it in the first place. I'm sorry…"

"Are you?" Professor Snape asked calmly while lifting his eyebrow once more in question, thereby looking almost bemused by Robin's monologue of misery.

His question made Robin blush, for no other reason than because he had straight up caught her lying to him. Could he… no, surely not. But then again… there WAS a rumour about Professor Snape being able to read minds, wasn't there? She decided not to test her luck today and stick to the truth, however painful that might be. Childish behavior had gotten her into enough trouble already. It was nothing but the truth for her from now on.

"Actually… no. And yes." She earned herself another eye rolling for that, but continued nonetheless. "I'm not sorry that I defended Theresa even though we're not friends, specifically. I'm not sorry I defended any innocent person in general. I'm not sorry I defended myself. But I am truly and honestly sorry for…" She bit her own tongue before she could finish the sentence. What she'd meant to say wasn't something he wanted to hear, and it certainly wasn't something she wanted to admit to.

"Yes?" A pause. "Do go on, Miss Mitchell."

"For disappointing you, sir." Robin finally said, as the crimson crept up her neck and onto her cheeks, feeling uneasy by how true the statement was indeed. She absolutely hated disappointing people she looked up to. "For being the bloody idiot you likely take me for. The stupid muggle born Slytherin who disgraces your house. The dunderhead who failed her essay because she was too proud to ask for clearer instructions. The arrogant-"

"Get over yourself already." He almost snarled, and Robin's eyes snapped back up at him in irritation and just a little more hurt than she would've liked to let on. Here she was, telling him she was scared as hell to disappoint him, and he told her to get over herself? Before tears finally rose to her eyes however, for but a short moment, his face showed discomfort rather than reproach, and her feeling of hurt ebbed down significantly in an instant. A second later however, his frown deepened and the mixed expression vanished from his face as he spoke on. "I did not expect you to be sorry for your actions, and that is not why I asked about your take on punishment."

"You... did not?"

Another eye roll. "Obviously. I had rather hoped you would come to understand my terms of punishment." When Robin merely kept looking at him expectantly, he added, "Well?"

"Uh..." Think, Robin… what's he trying to say? What's the lesson here? She spoke on before she knew the answer to either question. "If it wasn't just his failure at the antidote or his bullying of people… Maybe Alexander's error, ultimately, was that he didn't do his readings, and didn't pay attention in class. And that was why you assigned him the essay. For him to… to learn about what he'd failed to learn before."

For the first time since Robin had known him, Professor Snape looked pleased. And that about her very own words! She let out a relieved breath; obviously she had drawn the right conclusion from what he had said after all.

"And what did you fail at today, Miss Mitchell?" He asked in a pointed drawl while quirking an eyebrow at her yet again.

Did 'everything' count as an answer? Probably not, she had to think deeper than that. "My-... my essay?" That, quite possibly, was the worst answer she could've given, and Robin wanted to smack herself in the head if he didn't preempt her.

But all she got was a scowl, and that impossibly intense gaze again. "I have no intention to justify my grading in front of my students, if that is what you are trying to achieve by bringing it up again." He rose to his feet with a start, and Robin jumped quite visibly at the sudden movement, which in return made him roll his eyes even more as he walked over to the bookshelf. He scanned the spines of the books at eye level for a moment, then spoke on. "However since you seem to care more about your performance in this subject than about the subject itself, let me assure you that your essay grade is fairly reflective of your classwork in general."

Bloody hell, did he really think that badly of her? Didn't he see that she worked so hard just to appease him? Or that-... Oh.

Her shoulders slumped as realization dawned on her, and she suddenly found great interest in her shoes and the dark stone floor beneath. He had put it rather brilliantly… every ounce of her efforts had gone into getting a perfect grade, not into studying the subject of potions itself. The worst part about it was that his words hadn't even been the slightest bit taunting, without any accusation, as if he deemed it perfectly legitimate to just try for grades. That perhaps was what made her feel guilty the most; that she's had a choice, and only now came to realize that she had chosen wrong. Not in his eyes, but in her own.

She suddenly came to realize, with a startling desperation, that she actually wanted to learn more about the wide field of potions for learning's sake, not because it would get her good grades or praise, but because she actually cared about the subject. Honestly cared, more than she had really understood before being confronted with the two alternatives as for why someone would work this hard. Maybe it wasn't too late for her to get on the right track just yet. Still, Robin sighed in regret for the time lost and the wrong impressions made.

"I think I do know what I failed at, professor. Not only today, but ever since the start of term… And I'm sorry. Truly." Saying those last words at last, she lifted her eyes off the floor once more to seek his in an attempt to convey that she actually meant it. That the message was understood, appreciated even, and that she had the honest-to-the-core intention to act on it too.

For a moment his eyes remained fixed on hers, leaving Robin to feel the odd tingling in the back of her mind yet again, and she subsequently started picking at the sleeves of her robes again.

"Do you know what this is?" His surprisingly calmly spoken question replaced an actual answer to Robin's statement as he took a step closer and held the item in his hands out for her to see.

"A book, sir?" Robin's immediate reply was paired with her own eyebrow rising in question, and only after a heartbeat did she realize that she had just sassed her professor. The adrenaline caused by a natural flight instinct hit her like a brick wall, and she held her breath in shock and anticipation .

His immediate response was not much different than hers, to be honest, a good mixture of sincere shock and surprise, but also… subtle amusement? His guard was back up before she could properly grasp it.

"It's a chance, Miss Mitchell." He finally said, obviously deciding to let her previous retort slip as he handed the book to Robin and then moved to sit back down behind his desk, watching her in silence until at last she looked back up at him. "As opposed to engaging in the average pettiness of the other imbecile children in order to gain their respect and recognition, I propose you don't attempt to prove yourself by their very means at all. You cannot, and the sooner you come to realize that, the sooner you will discover that the only way to achieve what you are striving for is to stop trying to be equal and start trying to be better."

"...Sir?"

"You heard me, Miss Mitchell." His tone held a graveness that had Robin's skin tingle in an equally pleasant and frightening way, leaving her breathless and just a bit dizzy. "Prove. Them. Wrong. And not through the usual pathetic scramble over blood status and grades."

Her eyes widened at that, and she stared at him as if he'd told her about the existence of aliens or something equally unbelievable. Had he truly said what she had heard, subtext and all? She had so much to think about, so many cryptic statements to sort through…

"That would be all." The bored indifference had returned to his voice, and he dropped his gaze from Robin's eyes down to the students' notebooks on his desk without another word.

"But… you haven't given me any sort of punishment, sir. For the babbling beverage." Robin spoke up quietly as she rose to her feet, unsure why she would even bring it up. Maybe because she thought that she deserved to be punished after all… it would certainly clear her conscience of the remaining guilt.

Professor Snape sighed in rather badly feigned annoyance that even Robin could spot for once, and dropped his quill onto the desk a little more forcefully than necessary before he looked back up at her. "What did we discuss about punishment, Miss Mitchell?"

"That, uh, that it's supposed to make you learn what you failed to know before?"

"And?"

"And… in regards to the babbling beverage… I would need to learn that…" She almost wanted to say 'I shouldn't have done it', but that wasn't it. That couldn't be it. Severus Snape would not have taken so much time and so many words just to have her realize that pulling pranks in class wasn't cool. So she took a breath, and took a chance. "... that revenge by their means only leads to more suffering on either end. And that if… WHEN I get my revenge, I better be the smartest person in the room."

This time the smirk playing on his lips was quite certainly a smirk indeed, and Robin felt tremendously pleased. However she knew better now than to show a reaction to it and thus she simply made sure to remember that her professor actually could look pleased if one got that far with him.

"I believe you have a class to get to. We are done here." He said and turned back towards his work, causing his long hair to hide his face from Robin's sight for the most part. Didn't he like people seeing him show positive reactions? Probably not.

"Thank you, sir…"

"Don't thank me. I'm responsible for a house full of morons, and I would much prefer to have one person less to worry about." He said, and added almost with a humored tone as Robin made for the door, "Read the book, Miss Mitchell."

"Yes, sir." She smiled despite the insult, for she got the lasting impression that it hadn't been directed at her. "I'll be done by Thursday."

"Make that Tuesday and I might actually be impressed." He murmured as Robin stepped out of the office, and she couldn't believe that he'd actually sassed her back. In a humorous manner! The grin that fell onto her face didn't cease as she hurried through the classroom and out into the hallway, through the dungeons and up the spiral staircase.

Only once she walked through the empty courtyard, book still tightly clutched to her chest, she realized just how late she actually was to her defense against the dark arts class. A good thirty minutes! Bloody hell… Professor Morgan would have her head, and quite possibly every other body part carefully separated from the other as well. That is… if she showed up in the first place. When it was either playing practice dummy for the rest of the class, or getting some quality time and have a look at Professor Snape's book, there wasn't really a choice to make.

Once she had arrived back in her empty dorm room and sat down cross-legged on her bed, she stared down at the book in her hands. 'Basic Herbology for Potioneers'… Huh, why would her potions professor give her a book about herbology? She had never considered that a subject might actually be of use for another, but then again, it definitely made an odd amount of sense. Especially with potions and herbology. With all those plants she had read about while researching for… The essay!

With a sharp intake of breath, Robin dug through her bag in search for the crumpled up pages of parchment. Somehow, after having Professor Snape unveil the truth about her focus on grades instead of knowledge, the stupid essay had greatly lost in significance to her. Even if she had gotten a bad grade… and even if that meant that her overall performance was bad as well… she would try to be better from now on, in a general manner and not just about grades. However a little ambition couldn't hurt either, and thus she unrolled the papers without the sour feeling she had gotten at its mere sight this morning.

Below the very last of her own written lines, her professor had scribbled a dark red 'O'. At first Robin mistook it for a zero, then however she read his comment.

'Congratulations for being the first student to not completely bore me out of my mind.'

Robin let out a short laugh, then shook her head to herself as she kept on grinning. She felt absolutely exhilarated, because even now that it was an 'outstanding' instead of a failing grade on her essay, she actually didn't care anymore. Sure, she was relieved to have passed, and giddy to be the first student to get an outstanding from Professor Snape, but she didn't actually need it anymore. Because she had been shown a better path, because she would be better indeed. With the goal to actually understand and remember what she read before she would return the book on Monday night, she finally started on the first page.

_______________

Christmas break had been long awaited by many, and in hindsight Robin was almost embarrassed to admit that she rather had been looking forward to it as well. However the second she had come home to an empty house and a note saying that her parents were at a work event that night, and that they were sure she'd be alright on her own 'because she was twelve now after all and used to being on her own at school', she had regretted coming home in the first place. Her entire Christmas break was either spent alone in her home, watching her parents work when they were there, or listening to them talk about work during meals. Really, meals were the only time they talked at all, but Robin still found herself surprised when the conversation took on a different topic than her parents' work or general household matters for once.

"So tell us, Robin, how do you like the new school?" Her father asked completely out of the blue, after ten minutes of talking about some kind of cells Robin hadn't even understood the name of. Something weird in Latin, or whatever language that had been.

"I, uh…" She found herself at a loss for an answer for a moment only, then however the words all came rushing to her mind at once. "It's amazing, actually! The subjects are completely different to anything you will ever have heard of, things like transfiguration, or defense against the dark arts… or potions! Potions is my favorite, it's super hard but also so much fun! Oddly enough, the other students can't stand our professor in that class at all, actually nobody but me can, but I get along with him for some reason! I borrow books from him every week, once or twice even, depending on the time I have and the amount of pages or the difficulty of the topic… He's also responsible for our house! There's actual houses people get sorted into in the beginning of their first year, can you believe that? And they have this competition for points between them, and I often times get awarded points for giving right answers in class! Oh, and don't even get me started on the library they have! Really, learning is so much fun when you like the subject, and I like most of them a lot!"

The excitement about finally being able to talk about these things to someone completely overtook Robin in a wild rush, and she couldn't help smiling widely as she spoke, but after a while of talking she had to realize that neither of her parents actually seemed to pay too much attention to what she was saying. Her smile faded, and she paused in her stories.

"That's lovely, sweetie." Her mom replied the very moment Robin fell silent, and honestly the reply couldn't have been more generic. "Can you keep up with everyone? How about your grades, do you even have something like that?"

As the realization set in that her mother hadn't really been listening indeed, Robin suddenly lost both her appetite and her willingness to converse at all. She felt stupid to have rambled like that… felt like someone had punched her in the stomach.

"I get good grades, better than most." She made herself say though, picking at the broccoli on her plate while tears of stupid humiliation made her vision swim together. "Even though I have… uh… I've been trying to focus more on… learning, instead of grades."

"Good, good…" Robin's father answered with a small nod that looked almost content, and she already felt a little better upon his approval. But his voice turned into the very opposite direction when he spoke on. "So you would like to keep attending this school instead of a normal one, I assume?"

"Yes." Robin replied in an instant, in utmost determination for once. Going to Hogwarts was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and she wouldn't let anyone take that from her again.

"I hope you are aware of how that is limiting you in regard to potential future careers." He went on, and Robin only rolled her eyes. They'd had this conversation a year ago already, when she had first received the letter of acceptance.

"She is twelve, she doesn't think about future careers!" Her mom argued right back. "And she can still get a real degree when she is done with the magic!"

"Right, because a nineteen-year-old with a degree in magic tricks will get accepted into any of the colleges…" He scoffed in sarcasm, dropping his cutlery on the table much like Robin had. "Look at your own students and tell me that they haven't all struggled through a real education first!"

"You don't even know anything about Hogwarts or the things they teach there!" Robin protested with an angry frown. "It's as serious a school as any of your world!"

"Did you hear that?! 'Your world', she says, as if she isn't even part of it anymore!" Her dad ignored her and looked only at her mom across the table. "I was against this nonsense from the start. But if Robin is happy where she is, please, I haven't said anything at all!"

"But I can continue going to Hogwarts, yes?" Robin asked, even though she was being actively ignored in this conversation about her.

"Yes, sweetie. Your dad is just concerned, that is all. You're doing great, I'm sure." Her mom finally took enough pity to reply, and Robin felt relieved upon that at least.

Neither spoke a word after that, and Robin still didn't touch her food until her father told her to finish what had been put on her plate for manners' sake. She did, but she didn't stop the tears from running over her cheeks at the same time.

The only good thing that came of her holidays spent at home was the allowance she received for Christmas. Her parents had explained to her that they didn't actually know what she liked in terms of presents anymore, nor what she would like to be given as a gift, and thus she might as well use the money given to her to buy something she truly wanted. Robin found that even if it was a little impersonal, she didn't mind the arrangement all that much, and went ahead to invest her (admittedly pretty gracious amount of) Christmas money in Diagon Alley. She bought more books than she cared to admit, some purely out of curiosity and others because she had previously borrowed them from Professor Snape and had been especially reluctant to return them once she'd read them through. After having an elderly witch who worked in the bookstore shrink all the books to a traveling size for her –and give her an entire book of literature related spells for free so she could bring them back to their original size once at Hogwarts– Robin went ahead to spend the very last of her 'gift' on buying herself an antique locket on a chain. It wasn't anything extraordinary, but quite beautifully made and worth every penny in her opinion, despite its obvious signs of age. She didn't really know what made her buy it nor what to put in it yet, but she had an inkling that eventually she would come to know.

______________________________

Tags:

@ayamenimthiriel @chibi-lioness @t-sunnyside @alex4555

General Tags:

@its-remy-not-ratatouille @wegingerangelica @dreary-skies-stuff @wiczer @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @theweirdlunatic @caretheunicorn @kthemarsian @lady-of-lies @strawberrysandcream @noplacelikehome77 @theoneanna @mishaandthebrits @i-am-a-mes @nonsensicalobsessions @exygon @hiddles-lobotomy @rjohnson1280 @annwhojumps @spookycatqueen @salempoe @headoverhiddleston @fanfiction-and-stress @createdfromblue @halszka-potter @thecreatiivecorner @themusingsofmany @kinghiddlestonanddixon @scorpionchild81 @crystal-28 @adefectivedetective @lokis-girl-in-mischief @booklover2929 @iamverity @lovesmesomehiddles @akk4rin @whitewolfandthefox @stuckupstucky

#severus snape #snape #severus snape x oc #snape x oc #young snape #snape fanfiction #professor snape #snape headcanon #snape imagine #Voluptas Noctis Aeternae #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #hogwarts au #hogwarts #hogwarts fanfiction

58 notes · View notes

guigz1-coldwar · 3 years

Text

'Not mine' : New chapter for Redemption of a Spirit in a Cold War is out !

'Not mine'

Chapter Summary :

Bell passed out after confronting Adler and memories is coming back....fake & real ones

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3300

-----------------------------------------

One week.....one week to finally come face-to-face with Russell Adler in person. One week where I was thinking at each moment about what I will do : make him suffer like he did to me three years ago, make him realize his own mistakes he has done towards me and the others. He lied to everyone about me : he said them that I died at Solovetsky and he kept it a secret. He did this because he & the CIA was someone that know too much about them and my supposed 'threat' on the Free World.

I had him tied up on the same stretch he put me on and I did this because of what he did to Park : he put his dirty hands on her throat, going to strangle her and I had to intervene. I told him everything that I knew about myself and.....and I was ready to do it.....to take my revenge from him for having left me for dead on that island, to have lied to me, I was ready to do it.....but I didn't do it !

I didn't do it because I realized that it was going to get me killed as well. Killing Adler is like, writing myself my death warrant immediately, getting pursued by the CIA and for sure, Park will have to be obliged to pursue me as well with the MI6. I had no choices but to let him live with his own actions. I walked out of the safehouse, trying to get some fresh air before falling on my knees as Park decided to join me and recomfort me.

That wasn't helping me at all even if I could understand her. I let a monster live and I'm sure as hell that I will have to work with him again against Perseus. He's the only person that can bring the fight to Perseus and if I was just alone, I wouldn't have any chances to stand right. I wanted to put my arms around Park but.....I wasn't able to move like if I was petrified, I just saw Adler standing right in front of me, it was just a simple vision as I could hear the real him in the safehouse and this vision were wearing the same clothes at Solovetsky and then.......

"Bell, we have a job to do !"

I closed my eyes knowing in a second, I would pass out because I couldn't resist to that and I think I wasn't willing to do a thing right now since I was feeling so empty to fight....to resist. And that's exactly what happened to me, I passed out and it was all black for me until I started to see some weird dreams and those were lasted a few seconds and everything was like mixed in my head, I could hear the voices of these dreams.

".....From the safety of Solovetsky....."

".....It was never personal....."

"....The United States and its allies....."

".....I never wanted this for her....."

"......Freya....you.....my few friends....is my family...."

".....Stay by your side at every moment...."

It was all mixed up but these voices, I could recognize each time : Perseus, Adler, Park and even myself and then, I stopped hearing those voices and seeing these dreams. I think it was better for me to calm down and try to focus on myself but I just passed out and I don't know what is happening to me at this moment.....I just need to rest.....

I was lying down on a bed and I was sleeping but I realized that.....oh no.....a damn fake memory.....it was something Adler gave me : Vietnam....I slowly opened my eyes and it was all dark around me but I was able to recognize the inside of a military tent and by the look of it, it was sure that it was at Vietnam.....why I'm thinking of this ? It's not my memory so why I'm doing this ?

The bed I was on wasn't really comfortable and somehow, I was having the impression that I wasn't alone in that tent, feeling observed as my body was slowly getting stressed out since this tent is able to fit for one person like an personal quarters. I moved to turn on the little lamp that was put on an big ammo box, serving as an nightstand and when I looked around once the light was on, I could see someone sitting on a chair, looking at me......Adler !

"Sleeping well.....Bell." He smirked at me when I had my eyes on him

"What the...." I started, almost jumped off my bed in scare, terrified by his presence "What the fuck ?" I finished in anger.

"Hey, easy, lady." He was sounding so calm in his voice.

"What are you doing in my tent ?" I first ask before I realized that I had another thing in hand "Who are you ?"

"Can you calm down just a bit ?" He told me before he get something out of his pocket....a cigarette. "You're getting so stressed in here that you're getting angry at complete stranger."

"Yeah, especially those who broke inside my own personal tent in the middle of the night." I replied as I grabbed the glasses that was on the nightstand, to have a better look on him "I'm gonna ask again : who are you ?" I asked again as he started to light his cigarette before looking at me.

"Russell Adler, MACV-SOG." He presented himself "You must be Jess Blackwell also called 'Bell' sent by the MI6 in the Vietnam's jungles." He added as I redressed myself on the bed.

"We could have make the presentations tomorrow and not while I'm sleeping." I exclaimed, rolling my eyes, keeping an angry look

"I prefer to make things in private." He responded, taking something at his feets "I learned a lot about you, miss Blackwell."

"Call me Bell." I said to him before sniffing but he wasn't looking surprised like if he already know that.

"I see that you are just an MI6 recruit and that you're only 18." He raised an eyebrow to me "Why the MI6 would send an 18 year old recruit in the Vietnam War ?"

"I don't know." I replied, clearly "I'm here to obey the orders given to me, that's it."

"And you were so willing to put yourself around people who aren't even your friends and perfect strangers, people that are trained well enough to kill and people who aren't going to be so pleased to work with an woman ?" He breathed at the end, awaiting for an answer. I nodded.

"Well, they will have to adapt." I responded

"I know you would say that." He removed the cigarette of his mouth to blow smoke "You know that you are getting assigned to my team until your superiors decide to pull you out."

"I know that." I readjusted my glasses. "You need to know that I put the Crown's interests at first before those of your president." I smirked at the end, little laughing too.

"Hmm..." He rolled his eyes and smiling "Something that I should have take notes." He then woke up from his seat, getting next to me "Anyway, you will be under my authority for an undetermined time." He then offered his hand.

"Guess that I have no choice." I shook hands with him, a fake smile on my face before I removed my hand "And now, I would have some sleep so if you can left..."

"I will." He said before he slowly walk away from me as I was awaiting that he completely left the tent before he looked back at me "Oh and don't forget......

......we have a job to do !"

No....not again, not that stupid phrase. At least after hearing this, that fake memory was finally over. Hearing this each time is going to break me apart because each time, I either freaking out and trying to control it or falling for it. In fact, I can't control myself when I hear this. I think it would take time for me to succeed to get that line out of my head and if I'm forced to hear it, finding a way to fight against it until it doesn't do anything to me anymore.

I don't know how I will do it but I will surely find a way to counter that.....fearing that Adler could maybe try to control me in the future but if anyone know now who I am and what I suffer, will they really let him doing it before they're able to shut him down ? For the moment, it was better for me to get some rest and.....aw, great....another memory coming inside my head....and for once, it was not a fake at all....

All around me, it was snowing and I was laying down on the snow. At my side, there were Zasha, also laying down on the chest, a sniper rifle in hands.....A scoped Mosin-Nagant M1891/30. We were positioned on a hill near a large forest. We were dressed in some military outfits, nicely fitting to the snow. The day was clear but very snowy and apparently, I was training them to learn to shoot with an sniper rifle on some targets down the hill, all posed against some trees.

They started to fire some bullets, giving 10 seconds between each shot to get focus on the targets. I let them fire a whole mag of the Nagant before they looked at me as I took my binoculars out to check the targets.

"2 bullets in the targets." I started, getting a view on the three first targets at the right side down the hill before looking at the left "3 has missed." I removed my binoculars to look back at Zasha.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Yirina." They excused themselves as they were beginning to reload the gun

"What are you sorry for ?" I asked

"It's been hours we're here and I'm feeling that I make you lost your time with me." They stopped by what they were doing to look at me. "Sniper rifles aren't my thing."

"It's okay to be sorry, Zed." I replied "It took me hours, even days to allow me to get along with those types of guns."

"I don't know how to feel about this." They put their hands on one of the numerous ammo mag that were near them

"Listen, I'm not losing my time at all." I affirmed, putting my hands on their shoulders "I'm trying to train you to survive."

"By using a sniper rifle ?" They asked, confused and I rolled my eyes in the skies, smiling

"Just get the next mag ready, okay ?" I gave them a little tap on the shoulder before letting them reload the rifle "Wait until I gave you the order." I positioned myself well to look at them "Take your time to shoot, get your lungs empty when you are getting prepared and don't stress." They prepared themselves well until I decided to start "You can go."

I keep a good eyes on them as they were getting focused on their training. Empty lungs, don't breathe too heavily to allow the enemy to spot you and everything that a good sniper need to know about. After a few seconds I told them to go, the first bullet was shot and after ten more seconds, another came....and another. It took 50 seconds for them to empty the gun and then, once they were done, they looked at me, awaiting and I looked with the binoculars to the targets.

"Well, that's good progress." I said with an clear voice. "4 bullets on....only one missed."

"Really ?" They asked, stunned as I gave them the binoculars to look by themself "Oh damn." They exclaimed after they gave it back to me. "I can't believe it."

"See ? Told you." I raised an eyebrow "Don't need to stress each time." I then looked down the hill "But, you will have next time to fire more quickly and precisely. 50 seconds is too long."

"I'm...." They started to said, wanting for sure to be sorry "Nevermind."

"It's okay to be sorry !" I affirmed to them, guessing their words before I start to look at the skies, feeling the snow falling on me as Zasha was getting his rifle back on the snowy ground.

"Yirina, can I ask you something ?" They started.

"Anything." I looked back at them

"Back at the base, I heard people calling you by a strange nickname and they said to me that you weren't really approving that." They were looking curious to ask me that and when I heard them, I was concerned "Why ?"

"Because it make me look like a cold-blooded and brutal soldier." I responded, looking away and crossing my arms "Something that I'm not, something I will never be."

"And when did this all start ?" They redressed themselves to have a better look, removing the hat they had as the snow stopped falling down.

"After an mission in Norway with Freya." I started, taking a deep breath "An NIS task force captured her when they discover that she was an double agent and I helped escape through the cold mountains before I went back to their homemade base to kill them all." I could feel a tear falling off my right eye "They hit her pretty badly."

"Shit, that must be hard for you at that time." They were sounding worried about me.

"They almost killed her and I was so blinded by rage that I took that decision to kill them all.....I shouldn't have ever done this." I sniffed "When I went back to the extraction point with Freya awaiting, everyone was starting to call me like that when I realized the brutality I used against the NIS."

"But people are still calling you like that, you know ?" They exclaimed, sounding a little angry "I thought that they would stop to call you like that after they knew your opinion."

"Perseus.....he is forcing me to keep that nickname." I looked at them with an sad look "He said that it's allowing me to distinguish from the others." I shooked my head in disapproval, biting my lips before standing up "Well, it's better we got back to the base, we're done here." I then helped Zasha gathered up their training equipment and get them up.

"Thanks, Yirina." They said after I got them up before they started to slowly walk away from the scene as I was getting into my thoughts whispering the nickname in question.....

"The Winter Soldier."

Once that memory was done, there were nothing else new getting inside my head for the moment, allowing me to have finally a rest even if that rest was because of me passing out in Park's arms outside the safehouse after I almost put a bullet in Adler's skull but at least, I was getting a good sleep......well, just a sleep, that's enough for now.

I opened my eyes slowly after a good time....getting waking up by the sound of a radio inside the room. I was back into the dorm, under some blankets.....the same bed as before. Park must have put me back in there after I passed out. My head.....well, it was hurting me a lot like if I had a damn headache and because of it, I was holding my head with my hands as it was feeling so heavy right now.

"You're okay ?" An voice surprised me, getting me a scare as I was inside my hands before I looked up to see Mason, standing next to me with his arms towards me. "Oh shit, I'm sorry, didn't want to scare you." He said, apologizing to me before he sit on the next bed on the right.

"You're looking great for an dead woman." Another voice said on the other bed at my left and I was surprised to see Woods, sitting on it, joking. "Sincerely, you're okay ?" He asked me, getting back to serious

"Well, my head is feeling so heavy....like if it's trying to kill me." I smiled nervously before getting my hands back to hold my head, my elbows posed on my knees

"Here, something for you." Mason moved to give me a glass of water, it was so looking white and somehow, I've got scared !

"Is that drugged ?" I asked, feared, trying to get the cup away from me "I don't want to be drugged !" I exclaimed. I guess that now I knew that the food given to me 3 years ago was rigged, I was fearing that again now.

"Hey, it's okay." Woods reassured, looking not sure to get next to me "Just water with some aspirin on it." He affirmed before I decided myself to get the cup of water with my trembling hands and the two men could see that. "Damn, Adler did really messed you up."

"So, Park told you everything, right ?" I asked, an hand holding my forehead, the other holding the glass

"Basically, she told us what happened to you and your real identity." Mason replied concerned "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay, Mason." I smiled at him before taking a little sip from the glass "Bad things happened to me, I can tell that but now that I'm back, I hope I can make things better." I added, trying to get the water inside my body as it was hard with aspirin in it.

"I hope you will." Woods affirmed before looking at me with wide eyes "So....Yirina Grigoriev ?" I nodded with a small grin "It's looking cool."

"Thanks." I simply said before I started to think of something "What happened last night ? I mean after I....uhm....passed out ?"

"Let's say that Adler had to give us a lot of explanations after what he did." Mason responded to me, looking dead serious "He told us everything that happened to you and the fact that he knew you were still alive all along."

"And....and Park ?" I asked, worried as hell

"She took care of you after you passed out before she started to get into a big argument with Adler." Woods intervened "Their arguments did put a lot of noises around the safehouse." I was now fearing the worst with that.

"If he has put his hands on her again....." I started to get up from my bed

"Yirina, don't worry." Mason cut me straight, moving to put me back in the bed "Did I say it right ?" He whispered, I nodded quickly with a very small grin "We were there in case they were going to put their fists against each other."

"And hopefully that we were there with Sims, I can't remember the numerous times that we got to get ourselves between them." Woods smirked at me, joking again.

"And now ?" I questioned them

"The two are getting quiet in their respectives workplaces with Sims keeping an eye to them." Mason responded with an smile "You shouldn't worry about them, you know ?"

"I'm only worried for Park." I admitted without saying why exactly before I got back myself comfortable in the bed. "She's the only person I want to be worried about."

"And why her ?" Woods asked, curious

"Because she believe in me and she's helping me." I replied clearly before I breath "I...I think I need to be alone just for a while."

"It's okay, get some rest, you're a good person." Mason started before he got up from the bed with an smile before Woods started to follow him, giving me a good look.

"Be well, Yirina." He said with a fake russian accent, causing me to laugh a little from it before I found myself back alone in the dorm with a radio on, I looked around before I put my head back in my hands,

"Am I really a good person ?"

#black ops cold war #bocw #call of duty cold war #cod cw #cod black ops cold war #cod cold war #fanfic #fem!bell #helen park

3 notes · View notes

watchoutforthefanfics · 4 years

Text

I Picked You Up A Date... Literally.

Inspo: this post, (credit to @more-incorect-quotes)

Relationships: Prinxiety, familial Analogical, and a hint of eventual Logicality

TWS: Logan is a cop in this one, and I guess being lost or put into the back of a cop car?

|/◇◇◇\|

It was a quiet night, cold and crisp. The kinda night his breath would utter as fog, if had even stepped out of the car.

Which he had planned not too, at all.

He was just patrolling, a simple task in place of someone else, a favor… if you will. Not that Logan would ever just… do favors, he wasn’t that kinda person; unless you were… Patton.

Strictly because Patton and Logan were partners. Partners as in two officers assigned to each other, not…

He groaned, still cruising through the wonderfully suburban block, keeping an eye out for anything. Patton had said his patrols were typically dry, and Logan wouldn’t have it any other way.

Especially with Virgil at home, on edge almost every moment his father had left the house.

With the whispers of wind trailing across his cheeks, Logan may have just understood why Patton insisted he do it. It was oddly… peaceful, a breath away from the panic of a day; Logan could really see its benefits.

Just as his shoulders finally relaxed, the radio crackled to life. Disrupting his peace, just as soon as he had accepted it.

“Patrol 42? Come in, Patrol 42?”

Logan sighed, picking up the handheld, “Patrol 42, coming in.”

“Uh, someone reported seeing a kid strolling 34th Street? It’s past curfew, can you do a follow up?”

“Will do,” Logan hummed, “-I’ll keep in touch.”

“Roger that, 42.”

Logan rubbed his eyes, adjusting his glasses and picking up his pace, just a dash; it was about 11:30.

Watching as trimmed trees passed his view, his lights a bit brighter than before; as to properly see the kid, of course.

Logan was a little confused at this predicament, wondering exactly what a kid would be doing strolling this streets; but, he reminded himself to be sensitive. (An issue he struggled with, when said person wasn’t his son.)

This kid could’ve been through anything at this point, Logan was in no place to assume things.

Until, he saw a teen with auburn hair laying on a bench just around the block. Logan blinked, watching the kid.

He wasn’t asleep, Logan could tell because a light hum carried through his window, and he seemed to be staring up at the stars.

Logan shook his hands up a bit, and got out of the car to try and be a little more humane. Less… scary.

Something in Logan had just told him this case was a little sensitive, and he’d take any precautions necessary.

“Kid?” Logan spoke gently, but the teen still jumped at the voice his hair ruffled and his eyes wide, “-I’m not here to hurt you, it’s just past curfew around here. It’s time to head home. Uh, my name is Logan.”

“Oh,” the teen frowned, “-uh, would this be a bad time to tell you I don’t know where I am?”

Logan furrowed his brows, a little confused but he figured he’d ask later, “Here, let’s just get you to the car. Alright? We’ll talk about it there.”

The teen nodded, glancing at his badge as if he had inquired about it, but didn’t speak a word.

“Yes, I’m a police officer,” Logan spoke, breaking the silence to the car, “-but I just don’t get out too much. I’m more of a science help then anything else.”

“Have you ever arrested anyone?”

Logan froze, realizing his mistake, “I’m not arresting you, if that’s what you think this is.”

He opened the back door, letting the teen slide in, a little but more extravagantly than expected, but he was in the car.

“Alright,” Logan hummed, “-now, what’s your name and what in the world are you doing out here?”

The teen shuffled, “Roman, I’m… I’m Roman Matthews, and I needed to clear my head.”

“From what?” Logan asked, as the car began slowly moving once more.

“Uh, well-” Roman paused, “-that’s a bit complicated yo-”

The radio cackled up, once more a familiar tone at this point, “Patrol 42?”

Logan sighed, “Patrol 42 responding.”

“Have you found the kid?”

“Yes,” Logan looked back in the rearview mirror, “-I’m taking him home, now. Over and out.”

“Keep us updated, over and out.”

Logan nodded, registering that somewhere in the back of his head, as he continued, “How exactly did you get here? And I offer you to tell the whole truth, as I do want you to get home safely.”

Roman exhaled, wringing his hands quietly, “I, um, I didn’t mean to be out here this long. I just needed like 10 minutes, not… 4 hours.”

Then, Logan felt it. The Dad Instinct.

“You haven’t eaten in four hours?” Logan spoke hesitantly, “That just won’t do.”

Roman smiled, just a bit, “Yeah. I got a little distracted, to be forward with you, sir.”

“I see, in order to help you, however-” Logan spoke clearly and concisely, “-you need to give me something, Roman.”

Roman was quiet for just a second, running his hand through his hair, “I live with Remus, my brother, he’s been taking care of me for a bit now. I just… I got a little upset, after we moved here for his job opportunity; I lost all my friends, everybody. So, I just… left.”

“Oh.”

Logan paused, trying to think of the right thing to say, because this was fragile (as he’d assumed). His eyes glanced to the suddenly very small teen in his backseat, he was curled into himself with a distant glaze over his eyes.

“Although-” Logan hummed, starting up the car and beginning to stroll, “-your method wasn’t very… sound. I think your reaction was a common one, change can be terrifying. Especially for someone your age.”

Roman’s eyes flashed to his in the mirror, Logan could tell he was listening and that he was doing… something right.

“If… Your brother,” Logan stumbled just for a second, “-should understand, Roman. Emotions can get the best of us all, sometimes. Your reaction was comp- er, partially founded in reason. Running away was probably not the best choice, to be fair.”

Roman chuckled, “Yeah, I guess. I’ve just always had a flair for the dramatic.”

“This is no exception, apparently.”

The car fell silent, just for a beat, and Logan wondered what he could say at this point. His Dad instinct was screaming to offer him food, but his common sense fought the idea of a cop offering you food late at night…

Maybe, he’d just ask about home? See if he wanted to go back yet.

“Do you want to go home yet?”

The rolling of the road under the wheels echoed through his head, as he watched the teen bounce the idea around in his head. His eyes darting and his hands fiddling, Roman was seemingly lost in thought.

Just as he opened his mouth, Logan’s phone began to buzz and the two jumped at the sound. His eyes darted to the clock, 11:45 –he was about 10 minutes late, which meant this was probably-

“Virgil,” his voice finished for him, as he held it up to his ear, “Is everything alright?”

“Dad!” his frantic son’s voice echoed, “You scared me, I thought you had gotten hurt or gone missing or… maybe you were in a criminal chase and I’d never get to say goodb-”

“Virgil, breathe,” Logan hummed, his voice calm (yet with a hint of pain because he had caused Virgil such anxiety), “-do we need to count?”

“No,” his son breathed, “-I… I think I’m okay, but what are you doing? If it’s okay for me to ask.”

“Of course it is, Virgil, I just-” Logan spoke with a breath of relief, “-I took up one of Patton’s patrols, and…”

His eyes dashed to Roman, who at the time, was watching him with an eye of envy.

Logan paused, releasing a breath, “I’ve got a seventeen-year-old boy in the back of my cop car right now and I’m taking him to the station, or home… That I’m not sure of yet.”

There was a pause, just a breath of silence: both in the call and car.

“Is he cute?”

Logan blinked, once and then twice, wondering how he could evaluate this situation. First of all, Virgil was asking if a boy was cute -implying he knew that boys could be cute, implying that he wanted to go on dates, and grow up, an-

Focus, he muttered to himself.

With a defeated sigh, Logan spun around in his seat, placing his phone on his chest.

“Hey, my son wants to know if you’re cute.”

Roman paused, a questioning glance in his eyes -just for a second-, before a grin erupted onto face.

He looked like an actual Disney prince, Logan concluded, just dress him up in a prince costume and it would look remarkable.

“I…”

Roman spoke with a bout of arrogance that seemed natural, but Logan had yet to see, “I really wanna say yes, sir.”

Logan spun back around, holding his phone back up to his ear and, with a certain amount of bitterness, saying, “He says yes.”

“DAD! YOU DID NOT TE-”

Logan rolled his eyes with a bit of smirk, as he rushed out, “Goodbye, Virgil. I love you and will see you in a bit. If you need anything, feel free to call me back. ”

Roman blinked, his eyes wide, and Logan looked on in concern, “Did… Did you say Virgil?”

Logan quirked a brow, “Yes? My son’s name is Virgil, why?”

Roman’s face flushed, and his voice squeaked -that was new-, “Are you Logan Roberts?”

He was very concerned at this point, what did Roman have to do with his son, “Correct, why?”

“So,” Roman bit his lip, “-you’re edgy, cute, purple-haired, breathtaking, emo Virgil Robert’s Dad?”

Oh. Oh.

Logan cleared his throat, “What did you say your name was again?”

“Roman Matthews,” he spoke, albeit hesitantly but still with air of trust.

In a blink, his mind had recognized that name -coming out of Virgil’s mouth every other day.

“New kid today.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he was so stupid with his stupid handsome face… and stupid pickup lines… and stupid disney prince smile. I hate him.”

Logan took a breath, “I’ve… heard of you.”

Roman met his eyes in the mirror and flushed to his ears, this… was not what he expected.

He was definitely going to have a talk with Virgil when he got home.

#ts prinxiety #watchoutwriting #familial analogical #ts logicality #sanders sides fanfic

56 notes · View notes

snow-pitch-grimm · 4 years

Text

Something I’ll Never Have

Summary: Baz and Simon have a fight while at Baz’s parents’ house. There are feelings.

BAZ

I slam the door behind me and stalk down the hall, feeling too angry to think clearly.

"Baz?"

I notice Mordelia standing at her door looking at me curiously.

Damn it to Hell! Are all my siblings up here. Did they hear us?

"Hello, Mordelia. What are you doing up here? Shouldn't you be downstairs,"

She nods, "I spilled something on my dress so father said I should change,"

So everyone else was still downstairs. Good.

"Are you okay, Baz?" asks Mordelia, quietly.

I smile at her, "I'm fine, Mor. Simon and I had a bit of a fight, that's all,"

"Oh. Ok," she says nodding. The answer seems to be enough for her.

"Now, let's go downstairs and make sure Fiona doesn't hex Father," I tell her.

She giggles and nods, tugging me all the way downstairs.

xxx

SIMON

The sound of the door slam resonates through my bones and I slump down onto the bed.

Damn it!

Great, I just had a big fight with my boyfriend and now I'm sitting in his room in his family's home while he's downstairs with his family.

How wonderful.

I had been a little skeptical about spending the weekend here. Baz hadn't wanted to leave me but his siblings had begged and even his father had pulled out the 'I miss you, son" card. Feeling bad, I told him I'd come.

The family has been great so far. The kids are the same as before if a little taller. Fiona keeps teasing us, Daphne's being motherly and even Malcolm seems to like me now that I'm no longer connected to the murderous Mage (Penny's words. Not mine).

The problem turned out to be me and Baz. We had had an argument right before coming here, which lead to a stony silence filled car ride which lead to another stupid argument right now.

I sigh and take my phone out.

Baz, even when angry, is not cruel. He's not going to leave me alone in here too long. He'll probably just cool off for a little while and come and get me for dinner.

I text Penny but she's also spending time with her family this weekend so when she responds with ‘busy’, I don't tell her about the fight. I then see if any of my uni friends are free.

No luck.

I took out my laptop and tried to work on as assignment but couldn't concentrate. In the end, I flopped down on the bed to wait for Baz to come back.

Just Great

xxx

BAZ

My family knows something's wrong.

Daphne asks me to help in the kitchen, my sisters pick up on my mood and deliberately try to be cute. Fiona annoys my Father more than usual and he tries to be a good sport about it but his eyebrow keeps twitching, and frankly, it's as hilarious as it was when I was ten.

Slowly my anger ebbs away and I start to feel a little ridiculous. The argument wasn't even over anything substantial. We had tiff back at home and because we're both stubborn, neither one of us would apologize in the car which them translated into another stupid argument in my room.

Now, with a clear head, I can admit that I was just nervous at bringing Simon here but they were actually really great about it. So great that I was completely thrown. I pretty much reverted to my Watford persona, leading to Simon to push back. Hence the yelling match.

"Basilton?"

I look up and everyone's looking at me a little concerned.

"Daphne called your name four times, boyo. You alright?" says Fiona

"Oh, sorry. Yes. I'm fine," I say, standing up, "I'm just gonna go see what Simon's up to,"

The adults quickly give each other a look.

Oh, how I hate that.

"Wonderful," says Daphne, "Why don't you bring him down here. Dinner is almost ready,"

I nod and quickly walk up out the room and up the stairs. It's quiet compared to downstairs and I start to feel guilty. I shouldn't have left Simon alone. This place is strange to him and it's my job to make him feel welcome around my family. My Father's 'Welcome again Mr. Snow. Please call me Malcolm' did a better job than me.

I take a deep breath and open the door not knowing what to expect. I peek inside and see Simon lying on the bed face down. I'm a little apprehensive but then Simon raises his head and blinks sleepily. Sighing in relief, I smile. His eyes are a little red but sleepy red and not crying red. More than anything, he just seems a little confused and touseled from his nap.

And he looks so adorable.

"Good nap?" I ask

He blinks again and sits up, "Yeah, I was going to wait for you but then I guess I fell asleep,"

I grimace, feeling guilty again.

"Snow I-" I begin

"Baz-" he starts at the same time

We grin at each other.

"You first," he says

I sit by him and take his hand.

"I'm really sorry. I was being stupid and ridiculous. Our fight was unnecessary and could have been avoided if I had just admitted that I was a little a nervous bringing you here,"

He smiles and squeezes my hands, "Me too, Baz. I guess it's just easier to revert to what we used to to do at Watford,"

I smile, "But we're working on it,"

"Definitely," he smiles and hugs me close

I press my face into his neck and take a deep breath. Simon's hugs are always nice.

The moment is interrupted when Simon's stomach rumbles loudly. Very loudly.

Simon pulls away laughing, "Oops,"

"Come on," I say, pulling him up, "Dinner's probably set up by now,"

My heart flutters as he slips his hand in mine and smiles.

"Let's go,"

SIMON

Dinner is quieter then lunch. Probably because the children are tired.

It would be fine. Except that Baz's parents and aunt keep glancing between us.

"So are you two finding everything fine?" asks Daphne

Malcolm and Fiona also look up from their food.

But not at me. They're looking at Baz. Because they're his family and they're worried about him.

I feel a knot beginning in my stomach.

"Of course Mother," Baz says to her.

She smiles brilliantly and finally their eyes turn to me. I quickly put on a smile even though my heart feels heavy.

Malcolm nods once more and goes back to his food. Fiona's eyes linger on Baz again. There's still a bit of concern there.

I don't think anyone's ever looked at me quite like that.

And with a sinking heart, I realize what I'm feeling.

Envy.

I hate it.

BAZ

Simon had told me he was fine and he had certainly seemed fine. That was until we got to the table.

Now we're sitting in my room and again I'm wondering what's going on.

"Snow?" I say as I watch him ruffle through our bag.

"Hmm,"

"Simon, please look at me,"

His shoulders drop and he sighs.

When he turns, I feel my heart stop.

He's crying.

"Simon, darling. What wrong?" I say, moving forward and trying to hold him.

He shies away from me though.

"Nothing," he says, shaking his head, "It's stupid,"

"Snow?" I say as I watch more tears fall from his eyes, "Please. You're scaring me,"

"You're gonna think I'm being an idiot,"

"Never," I say fiercely, "Nothing is stupid if it makes you feel bad,"

"I tried to text Penelope after our fight. She wasn't available and neither were any of our other friends,"

I frown, "I thought you said you were fine,"

"I was- I am. This isn't about the fight Baz,"

"Then What-"

Simon hakes his head and pulls at his curls a bit. It breaks my heart to see him like this.

"I'm not doing this right," said Simon, fists clenched.

I gently take his hands away from his hair and turn him toward me.

"Take a deep breath and try again," I tell him

He complies and thinks for a moment before turning to face me properly.

"When you walked out of here, you were angry. What did you do?"

"I went downstairs talked with my family, felt stupid and came up here to apologize,"

"Right and remember the fight we had six months ago. What did you do?"

"Called Fiona and ranted,"

"Okay, and you know what I did?"

I shake my head.

"Today I tried to contact Penelope, it didn't work. That day she was there but she was studying so I told her I was fine even though I wanted to talk about the fight and its fine. It wasn't that bad, I barely remember it. But moments like that and this one make me realize what I don't have,"

"I don't understand, Simon," I tell him

"A family Baz," says, Simon, "I don't have a family,"

I'm stunned. This is not where I expected this to go. And honestly, I don't know what to say.

Taking advantage of my silence Simon continues, "I don't have a mother I can call and say 'Hi mum my boyfriend is being stupid’ or a Father who can I let myself be distracted by. I don't have a crazy aunt that introduces me to hard liquor or extended family I can joke about. I don't have younger siblings that look at me like I'm the best and worst thing to happen,"

He wraps his arm around himself, "I don't have a family I can take you home to,"

Now I have tears in my eyes too and my heart feels like it's going to break. I had no idea Simon was feeling like this.

I gently touch his shoulder and he completely crumples into me. I pull his close until his upper body is resting against my chest, his face tucked against my neck.

"It's usually fine you know, I'm used to it. But today at dinner, they were all so concerned, even Malcolm. They tried not to show it but they were. We had a normal couple argument but they still wanted to make sure you were fine. And at times like that it all just hits me, you know,"

"Simon. I'm sorry. I shouldn't lt have left-"

He shakes his head, "No Baz. I told you I'm fine with that. I was asleep for most of it. And they're your family, you're supposed to feel happy around them. I just- It's something I'll never have and sometimes it sucks. And sometimes it just really really hurts, you know,"

He's crying again, soaking my sweater with his tears. I hold him close, giving him my shoulder to rest on. There's nothing else I can do. There's absolutely nothing in the word that can make this better.

So, I just hold him.

#snowbaz #snowbaz fanfic #angst #coc 2019 #carry on fanfiction #carry on countdown #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #baz pitch #snowbaz fic

125 notes · View notes

sparrow-flies-south · 4 years

Text

Remus’s Guide To Mending Friendships (For Fun And Profit) [4/?]

Fandom: Sanders Sides Rating: Teen Pairings: Deceit & Virgil, Deceit & Virgil & Remus, Remus & Roman Warnings: Disturbing imagery (it’s Remus’s POV), imagined character death Summary: When he realises that Deceit misses Virgil, Remus decides that the best way to cheer him up is to persuade Virgil to come back to the dark side. Too bad Virgil hasn’t wanted anything to do with them since he left.

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Five AO3

Step Four: Encourage Open And Honest Communication

Deceit could pick up on a lie like a cadaver dog scenting a rotting corpse. Trying to trick him into doing something was a fool’s errand. He was also familiar enough with Remus’s antics to know not to investigate any doors that might suddenly appear in front of him.

(Virgil had clearly gone soft on the light side. His reaction to a strange door appearing had been to walk right up to investigate it. It was as if he wanted to be shoved inside.)

No, when dealing with Deceit, it was best to be direct.

“Go through that door,” Remus said, as soon as Deceit stepped out of his room.

“Absolutely not,” Deceit replied immediately.

Remus pouted. “Why not?”

Deceit sighed and rubbed his temples. “Does it lead to a cave with a monster?” he asked. “Or do you have someone else tied up? Logan, perhaps.”

“Why would I wanted to kidnap Logan?” Remus asked.

Deceit stared him down.

“Fine!” Remus threw his hands up in the air. “I’m trying to lock you in a closet. To help you.”

Deceit blinked. “That… is exactly what I expected your plan to be. Is the closet a metaphor?”

“No.”

“Does it contain a bottomless pit? A portal to a hell dimension?”

“No and no.”

“Is this a coup?”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re paranoid?”

“Remus.”

“If I tell you what’s in there, you’ll say no,” Remus complained.

“Which means I should say no regardless.”

Remus groaned. “I’ll pay you to go in there.”

“Currency has no real values other than what we assign it,” Deceit said. “The only reason a piece of paper is worth, say, $100 is because everyone agrees it does.”

“No money then,” Remus said, because he knew Deceit could go on a rant for hours if allowed to. “There must be something you want.”

Deceit considered. “Leave my stuff alone for two months.”

“One month!”

Deceit made a show of opening his door.

“Two months, yeesh. Can I trap you in a small confined space now?”

Deceit sighed, but stepped up to the door. “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

“Maybe at first, but then you’ll love it.”

Remus flung open the door, and threw Deceit inside before locking it again.

The closet wasn’t really in the corridor. It existed in a pocket of the imagination, but Remus could summon the door wherever he wanted. He kept the door up so he could listen in.

The doorknob jiggled, and Deceit sighed. “What exactly is the point of this?”

“What are you doing here?” Virgil said from further in the closet.

Someone started banging on the door.

“Remus!” Deceit shouted. “Let us out of here?”

Over the noise, Remus was only just able to hear Virgil say, “Wait, you’re not behind this?”

“Why yes, Virgil, I woke up this morning with the urge to trap myself in a small space with someone who hates my guts.”

Well, Deceit wasn’t being very optimistic. Still, it gave Virgil the chance to tell Deceit the truth.

“The door won’t budge,” Virgil said. “I already tried.”

“Remus!” Deceit shouted.

“He’s probably not even listening.”

“Do you have any better ideas?” Deceit snapped.

Virgil didn’t respond. The banging continued.

Remus had hoped they’d be talking to each other by now, not ignoring each other. He sat on the floor. This was going to take a while.

“Deceit, stop!” Virgil cried out, after a few minutes of banging had passed.

“What?” Deceit snarled.

“Your hands.” Virgil sounded closer, like he was right next to the door.

“Oh,” Deceit said quietly.

There was a moment of silence, and then Virgil said gruffly, “Whatever. Break your knuckles if you want, I don’t care.”

Silence.

“Virgil,” Deceit began, and then stopped. “What if I told you I might know a way out?”

“I’d wonder why you didn’t mention it before.”

“Because I enjoy slamming my fists in to a door, of course. But I’m just thrilled about what my idea entails.”

“God, I forgot how annoying you are,” Virgil muttered. “Fine, what’s your plan?”

“It’s simple. We do what Remus wants us to do. He must have put us in here for a reason, after all.”

“Remus could want anything,” Virgil pointed out. “That doesn’t help us much.”

“And as someone who lives with him, I certain have no idea what he could possibly want.” Deceit sighed. “He wants us to… talk to each other.” He sounded as if each word pained him to say.

“Just tell me what he really wants, asshole,” Virgil snapped.

“Unfortunately, I’m telling the complete truth.”

Well, at least they were talking, even if it wasn’t from a desire to confess how they truly felt.

“Fuck that,” Virgil said.

Or not.

“Of course,” Deceit replied. “Your grudge against me is far more important than us getting out of here.”

Remus could practically smell Virgil’s glare. “Grudge? You lied to me, you manipulated me, and when I stopped putting up with your shit, you kicked me out. It’s more than just a grudge.”

“You could have come back at any time,” Deceit responded. “You were just too busy with your new friends.”

“Because they care about me! They don’t see me as some – some pawn to manipulate.”

Deceit laughed. “Of course. They’ve always had your back. Always seen the best in you.”

“Maybe they would have, if you hadn’t gotten into my head. Made me think I had to be an asshole to everyone.”

“It must be very convenient to have someone to cast the villain. Makes it a lot easier to ignore your own mistakes.”

Remus shifted uncomfortably. This wasn’t going according to plan.

“I know I made mistakes. But when I decided to change, you tried to stop me.”

“Because you shouldn’t have had to change! You were strong. If the others didn’t listen to you, if Thomas didn’t listen to you, you made them listen. Now look at you.”

“Why does it matter how strong I am!”

Remus pulled the closet door open. Deceit and Virgil were standing so close to each other they were nearly touching, both glaring. Deceits hands were clenched, and there were spots of red on the knuckles of his gloves. Neither seemed to have noticed Remus.

“If you had left for power,” Deceit said, his voice like still waters, “I could understand it. Respect it even. Instead you threw away everything, left your family behind, for what? The love of people who only care about you if you play by their rules?”

Virgil took a step back, his body coiled as if he were about to spring. He tightened his jaw, and when he spoke, he didn’t look away from Deceit. “You’re not my family. You never were.”

Silence seemed to fill the room. Virgil glanced at Remus, and then sunk out.

Deceit stood still, breathing heavily. Then he turned to look at Remus, his face like ice.

“Happy now?” He asked.

Remus shook his head. “Dee, I-“

“I told you to leave Virgil alone,” he snarled. “What good did you think could possibly come from this? Or did you just do it to torment us?”

“I wanted to help.”

Deceit laughed. “How could someone like you help? You break everything you touch, and you thought, what, that you could make everything better?”

“I thought if you talked – talking was supposed to fix things.”

“Well, we talked!” Deceit said, spreading his arms wide as if he were addressing an audience, and not just Remus. “Have you gotten the message yet? Or are you too stupid to figure it out?”

“That’s not fair,” Remus protested. His eyes burned, why did his eyes burn? “You didn’t even try.”

“What’s the point? Even if he did think about coming back, he’d change his mind the moment he spoke to you.”

Remus stared, unable to say anything. Deceit was lying, he had to be lying. He’d never said anything about him scaring Virgil off before.

“Did you really think that he enjoyed spending time with you? What could you possibly have to offer, your charming personality? He was terrified of you. He probably attached himself to the light sides so fast just so he could get away from you.”

“That’s not true,” Remus said, though it came out weak.

Deceit smiled. “Of course not. Everyone just loves hanging around you, don’t they?”

Remus’s hands clenched into fists. “I wish I’d let the lion eat you,” he said, and vanished into the imagination.

His face felt damp with tears. As if Deceit didn’t already think he was stupid, he just had to go and breakdown. Of course Remus spent so much time with Deceit, he couldn’t even handle the truth, had to have the embodiment of lies tell him.

Something growled. A monster approached out of the darkness, circling him. Remus hadn’t realised he’d summoned one.

He let the creature lunge, but didn’t give it the chance to sink its teeth into his flesh. He brought his mace down quickly on the monsters head, crushing its skull, and the flung the body away.

It didn’t make him feel any better. He summoned another.

That one didn’t make him feel any better either.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #deceit sanders #virgil sanders #sympathetic remus #sympathetic deceit #my fic #remus #janus #virgil #remus's guide

24 notes · View notes

blu-eh · 4 years

Text

when kingdom comes calling

Words: 7,545 | Chapters: 1/1 | AO3 | Fanfiction

Summary: the Ghost Zone population assumes that Phantom took the crown with dignity. What they don’t know is fifteen year old Danny Fenton just wants to graduate high school, is constantly ready to throw hands with an army of eyeballs, and absolutely will not be crowned the Ghost King without a fight.

-----------------------------------

Danny is fifteen when the first Observant appears to completely ruin his life.

He wakes up with the feeling on the sun on his face and the birds chirping from outside his window. It’s peaceful, really, with his blankets being warm and his pillow soft. He feels more than a little well rested, which is a first considering his usual night-time activities, and thinks that maybe (just maybe) he can make it to school before the first period bell rings.

Belatedly, his ghost sense goes off.

Danny’s expecting it, really. It doesn’t stop the swirling aggravation as his good luck comes to an end. The day started out abnormal simply due to the fact that he had not once woken up at some ungodly hour in the morning to beat up a wandering ghost and send it back to the ghost zone. As per Fenton luck, his morning is ruined before it even has the chance to begin.

He groans, rubs sleep from his eyes, and comes face to face with the giant floating eyeball.

“Holy shit—” Danny turns intangible out of sheer surprise, falls through his bed, and is left grasping the sheets in order to pull himself as far as he possibly can away from the wayward Observant that is conveniently floating in his room. The Observant looks at him without blinking and its long cape flutters around its pencil-thin figure.

For a moment, they simply stare at each other. Danny, on the floor in his space pajamas, and the Observant hovering a few feet from the ground with its weird, unblinking, green eye.

“What are you doing in my room?” Danny says, slowly, and picks himself off the ground. He settles into a familiar fight stance and readies himself for a confrontation; space pajamas, bed head and all.

His previous encounters with the Observants and their weird time-council have not always been pleasant.

The Observant blinks at him, once, and says, “I have come to collect you for your coronation.”

“My what?”

“Your coronation, Daniel,” the Observant says with a sigh (which is really weird considering they don’t have mouths or, well, anything other than their eyes and hands). “It is time for you to take the throne and rule the Infinite Realms.”

Danny stares at him, his mouth opening and closing but no words coming out.

The Observant sighs again, “Please, come. There is much to do before you are crowned.”

Danny rubs his eyes just to make sure he’s not in some weird hallucination. He doesn’t think he’s fought any ghosts that could trap him in some freak alternate dimension or some sort of weird dream, but one can never be too careful. It would explain the situation more than whatever the Observant is trying to tell him, at least.

The Observants hate him. As if his own self-loathing isn’t enough to cover that base already. They’ve made it perfectly clear that should he ever mess up, should he ever become anything like Dan again, he would be destroyed and the council would not spare him pity for being a fifteen year old halfa.

Danny doesn’t remember doing anything bad or anything that could potentially cause his evil-future-self to come about and reign destruction and carnage on the earth, but then again Danny doesn’t have temporal clairvoyance like Clockwork and the rest of the Observants. Maybe he slept through one too many classes? Maybe he shoved the wrong ghost in his thermos?

Not like it matters, anyways. It doesn’t change the fact that Danny promised he wouldn’t turn into that and he isn’t just going to take whatever scheme the Observants dished out for him without a fight.

Danny holds up his hands, “Alright, okay. Listen, you had me going there for a little bit. I gotta admit that I was pretty surprised and kudos for the creativity but if you’re going to come up with a plan to kill me, at least make it believable.”

The Observant narrows its beady eye, “The council does not like it any more than you, child, but even we cannot directly disobey the Ancient Code of Rights.”

“The what?”

“Do you really not know?”

Danny’s irritation bubbles to the surface and he throws up his hands, “Its not exactly like any of you hand out Being a Ghost for Dummies book! Ghosts don’t tell me anything unless they’re trying to post-mortem murder me!”

The Observant blinks at him again, “You bested the previous king and his army in single combat thus earing the rights to the throne, the Ring of Rage, the Crown of Fire and the position of King of all Ghosts. I am to lead you into the Infinite Realms where we shall hold your coronation and crown you king. From there, you shall lead the Realms as did Pariah Dark in his prime.”

“King of all Ghosts—” Danny spluttered out before taking a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Alright, ignoring literally all of that for a second—why didn’t I get this position, oh, wow, I dunno, right after I defeated Pariah? It’s been a year now.”

“You did not even know about your own core,” the ghost says, sounding miffed. Danny thinks if anyone should be sounding aggravated right now, its him. “A ghost—rather, a halfa in your case—that does not know his own power cannot take the throne. The council made a decision to wait until your powers were under your control and you have learned more about the Infinite Realms and the power you possess before taking your rightful place.”

Irritation bubbles to the surface as Danny tries to ignore the painful fact that he knows very little about ghost culture and ghost politics. He doesn’t dare tell the observant this, though, because he doesn’t want the power and he certainly doesn’t want to be king of some stupid dimension. His parents shoot at him enough thinking he's a normal ghost. There’s no telling what they would do if they ever were to find out he’s the ghost king.

Ectoplasm sparks to life in his hands as he tries to keep his emotions in check. He’s angry and confused and worried because why couldn’t things just stay simple?

Notwithstanding, it still doesn’t change the fact the Observants have tried to do something worse than kill him on several different occasions.

“You tried to have me obliterated.”

“Yes,” the Observant says simply. “That still would have been the preferable outcome to this entire situation.”

Danny blasts the floating eyeball out of his room and doesn’t once feel bad about it.

-----------------------------------

There’s an eyeball in his locker.

Danny glances around at the nearly empty halls and hisses out, “What are you doing here? Go away before I make you!”

The Observant hardly looks rattled at the threat. If anything, the thing seems even more determined to get Danny to go through with this absolute bullshit plan to make him, someone who is half human, king of the ghosts. “Follow me to the Infinite Realms for your coronation. You are under obligation to meet the council at Pariah’s Keep where you shall receive the Crown of Fire and the Ring of Rage.”

“No,” Danny snaps. “I have an English test next period with Mr. Lancer.”

“This is no time for your silly human games—"

Danny slams the locker in its eye. He turns to look at his friends, feeling deader inside currently than when he’s in ghost form.

“Huh,” Sam says and blinks in surprise. “When you told us this morning, I thought you were kidding.”

The locker rattles behind him and Danny casually leads against it when people start looking his way. The Observant could easily use intangibility to escape, but, for some reason, doesn’t. Danny’s not going to question it. “I wish I was.”

“Kinda cool that we’re friends with royalty,” Tucker says.

“You’re not,” Danny says. “Because I’m not taking some stupid crown and I’m not ruling the Ghost Zone where I am constantly in danger because ghosts hate me. I’m perfectly fine out here, with my family, and away from all of them.”

“Frostbite doesn’t hate you,” Sam says. Danny shoots her a look but she continues on like she hadn’t seen him. “Neither does Dora or Pandora, I think. And Cujo and Wulf.”

“You gotta admit, dude,” Tucker says and slings an arm around him before meandering away from the rattling locker. “The whole Ghost King thing is pretty cool.”

Danny’s so tired.

“Tucker, honestly, I just want to get to college and maybe not fail at life,” Danny says. He has a horrible feeling in his gut that this is only the start of what might be the end of his entire future. “And I have a very bad feeling that my future is not going to be as normal as I want it to be.”

-----------------------------------

Jazz figures out the entire situation by the end of the first night when she sees a floating eyeball hovering in front of Danny’s bedroom door. She ends up yanking him in her room and forcing him to tell her everything. He tells her, albeit reluctantly, but he does have to admit it feels pretty good to get it off his chest.

It still isn’t a fun conversation for any of them considering Danny’s future hanging by nothing more than a flimsy string.

Life still goes on. Mr. Lancer assigns him an absurd amount of homework. The school gets shut down at least twice a day because of Observant sightings. Unfortunately for Danny, school doesn’t stop just because a bunch of ghostly eyeballs have taken to haunting the school corridors.

Besides, by the third day and seventh missed class, Danny makes it exceptionally clear that the Observants should not—under any circumstance—enter his school and disrupt his classes. If they do, then Danny hasn’t been scared to use force in the past and definitely isn’t scared to punch a giant eyeball in the face should he see them wandering the halls or loitering in the windows.

The Observants learn very quickly. So, instead of bothering him in the halls, they wait outside in the parking lot until he’s let out of class at the end of the day. From there, they float around him (along with an unwilling Sam and Tucker) and try to convince Danny to enter the Ghost Zone and become a king of a realm he doesn’t even totally belong to.

“—Your coronation ceremony awaits you in the Infinite Realms. The council has requested your presence.”

Danny breaths through his nose, shares a sideways look with his friends, and tries not to do anything drastic. The Observant is just lucky that the streets are currently empty because, otherwise, Danny would not be putting up with the constant pestering. “Do you have anything new to say?”

“Should you not come then the council will be forced to do things outside of prior tradition.”

At least it said something new, Danny thinks even though he doesn’t necessarily like the tone the Observant is using. Out loud, he says, “Does that mean you’ll leave me alone and find a new king?”

“No,” the Observant says.

“Damn,” Danny says. “Anything else profound?”

“The Infinite Realms is in need of a ruler—"

“I said anything profound?”

The Observant actually looks a little offended by that. Tucker hides his laugh behind a cough while Sam doesn’t try to hide hers at all. He gives them a wry grin when he thinks the Observant isn’t looking and all three of them burst into laughter.

The Observant narrows its eyes at the group and says, stiffly, “Very well. If this is your choice.”

It disappears in a puff of smoke. Danny glances at the spot where the Observant once floated and shrugs because, well, it’s not like he can do anything about it now. It doesn’t stop the sudden feeling of apprehension that washes over him.

“Do you think they’re actually going to leave Danny alone?” Tucker asks.

“No,” Danny says. “I think it’s just going to get worse from here.”

-----------------------------------

“I’m not coming to the stupid coronation,” Danny snaps the moment he sees the eyeball in his bedroom. It’s a new one, of course, because the council apparently never sends the same Observant twice.

This one is definitely different, though. It's holding something close it its chest in its green, clawed hand. Every couple seconds, Danny catches sight of a flickering green light despite not being able to make out the object’s shape.

“Since you have made your refusal to enter the Infinite Realms for your coronation, then we are forced to bring the coronation to you,” the Observant answers. It opens its hands and presents the object; small, black and flickering in a eerie green flame with a smooth bottom and tiny points at its top. He can’t help the small sense of familiarity as he takes the object in.

Danny feels his heart stop.

“Wait, what—this that the CROWN?”

“Bow your head, child,” the Observant says. “And we shall get this over with.”

Danny backs up so fast he hits the opposite wall before the Observant can move a single step closer. He drops into a fight stance. “Yeah, uh, no. I’m good, thanks. Please go back to the Ghost Zone and literally never come back here again.”

“You do not yet hold power over the council.”

Danny shifts to into his ghost form and charges up an ectoblast. The combination of its flashing light and the fire from the crown cast an eerie green glow on the walls of his room. “Wanna bet?”

The Observant takes a step forward. “This is cumbersome—"

“Oh, wow, I’m sorry,” Danny snaps and spots his thermos right behind the giant, floating eyeball. He mentally makes a quick plan in his head. “Next time you try and make my life a living hell I’ll make it easier for you!”

The Observant makes a move as if it were going to place the crown on Danny's head but Danny's faster. He dodges, rolls out of the way, and blasts the stupid ghost in the side. It doesn’t make a sound, but it does narrow its eye further.

“If you put that thing on my head so help me—HEY, I said don’t. I don’t want your stupid crown or your stupid throne!” Danny tries to keep his frustration under control as the observant moves to place the damn thing on his head again. He lunges to the other side of his room, fingers curling around the familiar metal of his thermos. “Find someone else and leave me alone.”

The Observant slinks back, crown still in hand. It glances at the object before meeting Danny’s eyes. “I see this will not be easy.”

Danny doesn’t give it a chance to move. Before the Observant can even react, he opens the thermos and sucks the thing up (crown and all). The green glow of the room vanishes and Danny is left standing, alone, in the lightly damaged remains of his once-clean bedroom.

-----------------------------------

He finds a new Observant in his fridge with a certain flaming crown in its hand. He slams the fridge door shut without a single word.

Unfortunately, Observants are ghosts which means they have ghost powers and this one is much smarter than the locker-Observant. It phases through the fridge and attempts to place the crown on his head without a single word.

At least they were past formalities now.

“I’d say give it to Plasmius but we all know how that would end,” Danny says and dodges the hands that attempts to pin him down. He’s stuck in human form for the time being seeing as his parents are just a room over and he doubts they would be happy to find Phantom floating in their kitchen with Fenton missing. “Don’t—hey! If you don’t stop, I’m going to blast you, I swear to the ancients—"

“We are the ancients, Daniel—"

“Oh my god, shut up. Please, stop talking.”

“This is your destiny—”

“Has it ever occurred to you or your council that forcing a fifteen year old to become a king is really fucked? Like, seriously, I haven’t even graduated high school yet. I’m barley passing history, I don’t know anything about politics, I can’t even vote in human elections and you want me to become a king?”

Footsteps come from the room next to him. Danny meets the Observant’s eyes as he realizes the fact that there is a ghost in a ghost hunter’s house. There is absolutely nothing good that will come from this.

“Danny?” His mom’s voice calls out. Danny slams a pillow over the Observant and sits on it just as his mom rounds the corner. She looks around the room, once, and doesn’t seem to notice how Danny’s awkwardly sprawled out on the couch in a desperate attempt to keep her from seeing the Observant. “I thought I heard yelling. Is everything all right?”

Underneath him, the Observant squirms in clear discomfort. Danny hopes he elbows it in the eye.

Danny laughs nervously and plasters on a smile that’s just a bit too wide. “Nope, no yelling. I didn’t hear yelling. Everything is fine, mom. Nothing to see here.”

He feels a hand creeping up his back and he whips around to grab the clawed green appendage before it can force the crown on his head. Unfortunately, in his effort to resist being crowned, he forgets all about his ghost-hunting mom who has definitely saw the ghost beneath the pillow.

Danny likes to think that his life is just one string of disasters after another with absolutely no end in sight.

“Is that a ghost?!” Mom says and, oh boy, her gun is already out and pointed at the Observant.

Danny shares a slightly panicked look with the Observant, still holding it’s hand with the crown away from his own head. It might be the stupid eyeball’s fault in the first place, but Danny doesn’t think anyone really deserves to get handed over to his mom. Or get ripped apart molecule by molecule. That would almost be as bad as Skulker skinning him and hanging his pelt on the wall.

Danny scrambles off the couch, “Okay, this is all just a big misunderstanding—"

Mom’s not listening to him, though. Her gun whirls with power and she takes a step forward. “Step away from my son, you ectoplasmic fiend!”

The Observant either wants to die again or is stupidly brave because it stands up, billowing cape and all. “He is to bear the crown and the ring as seen by the council and take his place as the rightful ruler of the Infinite Realms in order to—”

Mom blasts the Observant before it can say another word. Danny has never been so grateful for his mom’s trigger happy finger in his life.

His mom turns to look him over and Danny shrinks back and says, weakly, “I think they have me confused with a ghost.”

The Observant floats back into a standing position, the crown flickering in his hand. Unfortunately, one blast is never enough to force an Observant to leave. Danny should know. He’s blasted them enough times to figure it out.

Danny hates floating eyeballs with his entire being.

“Daniel James Fenton,” the Observant says and dodges the next shot by his mom. It tries to approach him, yet again, with the crown outstretched. “You must take the crown and the ring in order to rule the Infinite Realms as it is your right—"

“Shut up,” Danny throws a couch pillow at it. The pillow bounces harmlessly off the ghost but his mom shoots it a second later so he feels rightfully validated.

“Don’t touch my son!” his mom snaps.

She blasts the ghost enough to send it backward, into the kitchen. The crown goes skidding out of its hands and rolls right to Danny’s feet. Danny meets the Observant’s eye. Then, out of pure spite, he kicks the thing as far away from him as possible. The Observant narrows its eye.

Mom has a ectogun to the Observant’s face before it can protest. Danny tries to hide his smile, but doesn’t do a fantastic job if the look the Observant is giving him is anything to go by.

“Listen here, you odd manifestation of ectoplasmic energy and post-human consciousness,” Mom says and leans a bit closer. “You are going to tell me exactly why you are here and exactly what you were trying to do to my son.”

The Observant doesn't even look at her.

“Another time, then,” the Observant says but it’s glaringly obvious that it is not talking to Danny’s mom. It stares at him with its weird, beady eye.

Mom notices and shakes the thing with her fists. She looks a second away from decking it and, if it had been any other situation, Danny might have let her. He probably would’ve even laughed. This situation, however, is not one Danny finds much humor in.

The Observant gives him one more look before both it and the crown disappear in a puff of green smoke. His mom’s face twists into one of furious frustration but she doesn’t seem wholly surprised. The house plunges into a irreversible quiet and, sitting on the floor of the living room, Danny feels a familiar twinge of apprehension in his gut.

It’s incredibly apparent that the Observants have no qualms about secret identities.

Not a second later, his dad bursts into the room with a gun in hand. “GHOST?”

“You just missed it, honey,” Mom says, fuming, before dropping to her knees and pulling Danny into a hug. “Oh, Danny, I’m so sorry. That must have been so terrifying for you. I know how much those nasty ghosts scare you. I promise that we'll work on the ghost shield and nothing like that will ever happen again.”

Luckily, his mom seems more concerned about the fact that a ghost got into their house and tried to attack their son than to pay close attention to the words the ghost has spoken. It doesn’t stop the rush of guilt that holds his very core.

-----------------------------------

“Take the crown, Daniel.”

“Can’t,” Danny says, tightly. “I have an algebra test tomorrow that I haven’t studied for because someone keeps trying to put a crown on my head when I’m sleeping so, as you can see, I’m trying not to be stressed about that. Can we please schedule this for another time?”

The Observant gives him a look. For a floating eyeball, the thing is shockingly expressive.

Danny shifts into a fighting stance. “Right, of course. I forgot nothing is easy with any of you.”

-----------------------------------

Jazz catches him shuffling down the stairs to the basement at four o’clock in the morning.

“Danny,” she says slowly, “How many of those eyeball ghosts are in that thermos?”

“Twenty seven,” Danny answers and tries not to fall down the stairs in pure exhaustion.

It’s more of a game at this point—try and get as close to the ghost kid as possible to put on the crown and the ring before he blasts them. Danny thinks the game sucks and he wants out.

“You don’t look very good.”

Danny narrows his eyes. “Thanks, Jazz. I hadn’t realized.”

Danny can tell from her face that she’s trying to psychoanalyze him but he likes to think that he’s actually doing pretty well considering the sheer number of Observants that try to force a crown or ring on him. It’s been almost a week and, well, he’s still not the Ghost King so that has to count for something. Danny is holding off hope that the council will get the message and fuck off.

“Don’t be sarcastic, Danny, I’m just worried,” Jazz says and follows him down the stairs. “How are you holding up?”

“My life is a nightmare,” Danny answers. “And my nightmares manifest in the form of lots of floating green eyeballs.”

He takes the last couple steps into the basement and places the thermos in the release shoot. There’s no point in keeping them in there—Danny knows because he’s already tried. No matter what he does or where he keeps them, both the Observants that he’s captured and the crown vanish from the thermos. Then, they show up the very next day and the cycle begins all over again.

“That’s very specific,” Jazz tells him. Then, “If they keep popping up like they have, it’s going to be very hard to keep your secret from mom and dad for much longer.”

“Jazz,” Danny says and tries to keep the worry out of his voice (even if he knows it's a losing battle). “If this keeps going then I’m not going to have a secret to hide from anyone anymore.”

-----------------------------------

There’s yelling on the streets and an ectoblast whizzes past his ears.

Danny’s in ghost form, fresh out of a battle from a rogue ghost, flying high above the streets with his parents following behind him in their assault vehicle. They’re yelling at him, like normal, and trying to blast him out of the air. Had it been any other day, Danny could’ve lost them in mere minutes but he’s exhausted from the fifteen observants he’s been avoiding and the two ghosts that he’s fought just this afternoon.

Another blast comes dangerously close to hitting him.

His ghostly tail flicks in irritation and he turns, just for a moment, to yell out, “Stop blasting me!”

He almost gets an ectoblast to the face in reply.

“Hold it, ghost kid! Listen to me when I’m talking to you!”

Danny races through the streets, the RV curving dangerously on the road behind him. A shot fizzes by his ear and he drives to the right, towards the school. He makes it a good thousand feet when an Observant pops, literally, right in front of him with the crown in his hand.

Danny shoots the Observant on principal.

Unfortunately, Observants are freakishly strong for only being a giant floating eyeball and, sure enough, he had a grand total of three different pursuers behind him. The only thing that could make his day better is if Valerie shows up to join the party.

(He really, really hopes Valerie does not show up to join the party. Danny doesn’t think he can handle his parents, the Observants and Valerie well enough to keep the crown off his head and his secret intact.)

Too add to Danny’s extreme luck, he can only take so many ectoblasts before even he needs to land lest he be forced to transform back into a human. He lost the Observant someone a couple blocks back, but, sadly, his parents will not be bound by important things like traffic laws and speed limits. His parents end up cornering him in some wayward back alley where they stand at the mouth, blocking the entrance. Both guns are trained on his grounded form.

His dad aims his ectogun right at Danny’s face and shouts, “Freeze, spook!”

Danny really, really doesn’t want to fight his parents but he also doesn’t want to be caught and dissected, so he powers up his ectoblasts anyways and waits for a good enough opening to fly away without being shot out of the sky for a second time today. His mom watches him with a wary caution that he matches. Out of the two, she’s definitely the more dangerous one.

“Come quietly, Phantom. You’re trapped,” his mom says.

It’s then that the Observant decides to make its appearance directly next to his parents at the mouth of the alley, holding out the crown. His parents jump at the sudden arrival of yet another ghost but the Observant pays them no mind.

“GHOST!” Jack yells and hoists his gun to the newest arrival.

“You’re the ghost that was in our house the other day,” his mom says with a sort of venom in her voice. She looks mad—like, actually pissed off—which is something Danny’s glad he’s never been on the receiving end of (yet). She seems almost conflicted, like she wants to aim at the new ghost but cant't since her gun is currently trained on Danny's chest.

The Observant hardly reacts, holding the crown out further. It meets Danny’s eyes and Danny has half a mind to blast the thing, despite his parents being there.

“Please do not make this more difficult than it already is,” it says.

There’s a split second in Danny’s mind where he almost considers turning himself over to his parents. Surely, it would be better than whatever awaited him should the Observant actually manage to crown him.

“Listen, guys,” Danny says and backs away. He holds up his hands, placating. “This has been fun and all but I’m very tired and I don’t actually want to deal with this so if I could, like, leave, that would be great.”

His mom’s eyes snap back over to him and she lifts her gun from where she had lowered in during her surprise. “You aren’t going anywhere, spook!”

The order actually got a rise out of the Observant. It turns to his parents with its single eye narrowed. “You have no jurisdiction over Phantom.”

“Phantom is in our town,” his mom snaps right back. The gun unwittingly moves more towards the Observant and less towards Danny. "Therefore we decide what is and is not fit!”

“He is the rightful king—"

“King?!”

"Ghosts don't have kings—"

Through the bickering, no one notices as Danny sinks into the floor, slips out of the alley and vanishes.

-----------------------------------

“Please, don’t,” Danny says.

He’s in ghost form, hovering about two hundred feet off the ground. It had been a normal morning for him so far despite the distinct lack of Observant appearances. Now, with a sick feeling in his stomach, Danny understands why.

In front of him, the Fright Knight stands in all his terrifying, ten foot tall glory. “You must bear the Crown of Fire and the Ring of Rage in order to take your place on the throne."

"Cant we talk about this, maybe?" Danny says, a little leery and more than a little pissed off. It's one thing to deal with a bunch of annoying, flying eyeballs but it's another thing entirely for said flying eyeballs to recruit the ghost of nightmares.

"I apologize, my prince, but there is no option here.”

Behind the Fright Knight, ten or so Observants loiter in the air. The one in the middle holds the familiar flaming crown and another holds the ring. They surround him in a semicircle, looking expectantly at the Fright Knight.

Danny’s life really just sucks.

“Oh, there’s an option alright,” Danny snaps. If there's one thing he hates, it's not being given a choice and while this is going to hurt (it’s so going to hurt), Danny is not going to let the Observants or the Fright Knight get that god-awful crown on his head. “I beat you once and I can do it again!”

The Fright Knight tilts his head in recognition and draws his sword. “Perhaps, but I am not playing to win.”

Has Danny ever mentioned that his life sucks? Because his life sucks.

“Should we help him?” Tucker asks Sam from where they stand below. Danny can just barely make out the words they’re saying with humming of his core and the rush of adrenaline that shoots through his system.

“I don’t think they’re planning on hurting him?” Sam answers back. “Besides do you have anything to go up against the Fright Knight?”

“Point,” Tucker says.

(Danny has great friends.)

“We would rather have done this the easy way,” one of the Observants says. The others bob their eyeballs in agreement.

Danny whirls on them, eyes narrowed. “You forfeited your right to have opinions on what's easy when you brought the Fright Knight into this!”

“It’s for your own good,” the same Observant answers. “The Fright Knight serves the king and the king alone.”

“For your own good,” Danny grumbles under his breath, mockingly. His hands light up with ectoplasm. “We’ll see about that.”

The fight doesn’t take long.

It’s as the Fright Knight said; he is not fighting to win. The knight is not below a few dirty tricks to hold Danny down for just a few seconds. Danny puts up a good fight but he's running on three shots of espresso and maybe a sum total of six hours of sleep the entire week thanks to the constant threat of observants trying to put the crown on his head or ring on his finger. Safe to say, he's not in his prime condition.

The Fright Knight ends up pinning him down in the middle of the destroyed street. His friends rush forward to help, but two Observants hold them back. Danny thrashes from where he’s pinned but he can’t do much more than move his head around. The Fright Knight and his horse are, unsurprisingly, very heavy and apparently very well trained in holding down slippery, intangible ghost-teenagers.

The Observant holding the crown approaches him slowly. Danny tries to bite it’s long, claw like hands out of spite but the Observant goes intangible before he can make contact. It slowly lowers the crown towards his head.

Danny’s eyes flash a dangerous green. “I swear, if you put that crown on my head I’ll—are you kidding me?!”

The Observant drops the crown on his head. It hovers just a few centimeters above his hair and Danny immediately feels a heavy sort of energy expanding throughout his body. The crown flares to life, changing from a small flicking fire to a roaring flame as power gathers in his very core.

“You could have come to your own coronation, however, we were forced to make drastic measures,” the Observant that crowned him says.

Boy, doesn't that just set Danny off.

With a snarl, Danny uses the new energy to twist and blast the Fright Knight off his back. The crown follows his movement, flaring brightly whenever he uses his powers. Instead of fighting back, the knight merely bows and disappears. Danny waits a couple moments, tense and ready to fight, but it seems the Fright Knight has done what he came here to do.

The crown feels heavy on his head.

He blasts the two Observants holding Sam and Tucker, too, just because they’re annoying. They rush over to him, but he holds up a hand and motions for them to wait. There are, after all, still ten ghosts and a ring that Danny needs to avoid.

Danny turns to the Observants, fights clenched and eyes narrowed. “Okay, congrats! You win. The crown is on my head. Please get rid of it now.”

“The Crown of Fire is your right,” one Observant says. “It belongs to you alone.”

An idea suddenly comes to mind.

“Cool,” Danny says, slowly. He takes the crown off and is surprised how little it resist. The fire doesn’t even burn his hand as he holds it by the rim. “Then you won’t mind if I do this.”

He throws the crown as far as he can, watching it sail above the homes. It flies for a hot minute before flicking out of sight. Danny feels strangely satisfied when he turns to the Observants with a grin on his face. However, the Observants don’t look nearly as worried as Danny expects them to. In fact, they look unbearably smug for what is, functionally, a giant floating eyeball.

The looks he's getting ring as very bad in his mind.

Something heavy settles back on his head. Danny’s smile drops and feels a sinking alarm in his gut when he reaches up to touch the flaming crown that he had, just mere seconds ago, thrown across the entire town. The same power settles in his core once again.

“No,” Danny whispers, horrified.

“Holy shit,” Tucker says from across the street.

Danny turns and catches Sam’s eye. She mouths what is going on? at him. Danny wishes he knew anything about what’s happening but, as always, he’s clueless and confused and no small part of him is very, very angry.

The Observants merely stare at him. One steps forward and says, “The crown is yours by right. Hold out your hand and we will bestow upon you the Ring of Rage. Then your coronation will be completed and we shall leave you and return to the Infinite Realms to continue our temporal duties.”

Danny’s flare a brighter green. Ectoplasm pools in his hands and he readies for another fight. He doesn’t know it at the time, but his crown flickers to life. Suddenly uneasy, the Observants back away slowly.

“If you try and put that ring on my hand I will cut off my fingers,” Danny says.

“You won’t,” another Observant says.

“Wanna bet?”

They get the ring on his finger but, by god, Danny doesn’t go down without blasting all ten of them into the ground first. They pin him just like before, in yet another crater in the middle of a street with the crown on his head, the ring on his finger and unimaginable power flowing through his veins.

Apparently satisfied, the Observants let him up and quickly retreat. Danny stands, grumbling all the while, brushes off the remainder of dust on his suit and turns to the Observants. He's staring at the group, wondering just how he should get rid of them after they ruin more lives when all ten of then fall to their knees.

Danny takes a step back in alarm.

“All hail King Phantom,” the Observants say together. Their voices echo across the quiet streets of Amity Park. “Defeater of Pariah Dark and ruler of the Infinite Realms.”

People come out of their houses, peeking and staring up at him in horrified awe. Children point to his crown and laugh while the eyes of the adults reflect unseen amounts of terror. Danny can already see whatever good reputation he had dying like a snuffed out flame due to a single announcement. Danny meets Sam and Tucker’s eyes and wishes for nothing more than to flicker out of existence at that very moment.

Instead, Danny is forced to stand there, arms crossed and pissed off, with a burning crown floating on his head, a heavy ring on his finger and the weight of the entire Ghost Zone on his shoulders.

It’s quite possibly the worst day he’s ever had in his entire half-life.

-----------------------------------

The ghosts coming out of the portal over the next couple days to congratulate him almost make the situation worse.

It’s Johnny 13 who comes out first, gives him an exaggerated bow with a grin and says, “Hope you have a fun time being king, kiddo. I don’t envy you.”

Danny, who has had the worst two weeks of his life, simply rolls his eyes and mutters a sarcastic, “Thanks.”

“Kitty sends her regards as well," Johnny flashes him a lopsided grin and gets on his bike. He raves the engine before suddenly looking back. "Don’t expect the current peace to last.”

Danny watches him go, hands in his head. The crown flickers in the dim light and ring glows. He’s still not quite sure what a normal king is supposed to do; much less king of the Ghost Zone.

-----------------------------------

“The crown looks good on you, dipstick,” Ember says, later, when he’s out flying and trying to clear his head. No matter what he’s tried, the crown and ring simply won’t go away. He's been forced to wear an assortment of hats and gloves in order to keep his parents from finding out. They're pissed enough that Phantom was crowned the Ghost King as it already is.

“I hate this,” Danny tells her. “I want the crown and the ring gone.”

The other ghosts are definitely enjoying his absolute misery, even if they were all on somewhat friendly terms. As it turns out, a lot ghosts tend to play suck-up when confronted with unimaginable power.

Ember's smile widens and she says, “Well they’re your crown and ring. You can do what you want with them.”

Danny wants them gone. Then, he realizes something and stares at her in surprise.

“Was that advice?” Danny asks. "Did you just give me advice?”

“Did I?”

“I thought you hated me.”

“Right now, I pity you more than anything,” Ember tells him. “It’s whatever, babypop. You’re the king now and you’re no Pariah Dark so even if you do get in the way of my plans, I’d rather have you be king than go back to his rule.”

“That’s a very low bar to set,” Danny mutters under his breath. He stands, the crown flaring as he does so. He tries to hide his scowl. “Don’t cause trouble or, I dunno, try and brainwash the entire human population, and you can stay.”

He disappears into the air, content to head home for the night. Behind him, Ember calls out, “Think about what I said, dipstick! It’s your own power. You just have to learn how to use it.”

Later that night, he floats on his bed an concentrates. His own power bubbles to the surface and, in a fit on control, he wills his ring and crown to disappear. The objects flicker once, twice, before vanishing entirely. They’re not completely gone, of course, because he can still feel the power in his body but hidden is better than nothing.

-----------------------------------

Technus gives him some weird ghost device as a congratulations present. Danny’s pretty sure it’s not going to explode and/or capture him, but he can never be certain with a ghost like Technus. He ends up quietly shuffling it to Tucker when the technology-themed ghost isn’t looking.

Youngblood, Spectra, the Box Ghost, Lunch Lady, Desiree and even Vlad (holy shit) come and give him (begrudging) congratulations. Half of them think it's hilarious that he’s the poor sucker who gets the bear the burden of the crown while the other half think it’s too much power for his tiny halfa body to handle. Luckily, Danny now has a much easier time sending them back to the Ghost Zone if they get too rowdy.

Vlad gives him an especially vindictive look when he corners Danny in their human forms. Danny returns his look by secretly flipping him off since he can’t exactly shoot the mayor with an ectoblast in public.

Vlad leers over him in what's supposed to be intimidating. “I doubt you can hold on to that crown forever, boy.”

Danny might not want to be king but there’s absolutely no way that he would ever let the crown or the ring fall into Vlad’s hand.

He pushes Vlad away and clenches his fists, eyes narrowed. “Are you going to try and take it from me, fruitloop?”

“Perhaps another time,” Vlad says with a smile. Danny holds his fists to his side to keep from punching him in the face. “After all, a crown is a heavy burden for a child to bear.”

Danny grits his teeth. “I think I’ll manage.”

“We will see, little badger,” Vlad says and turns to leave.

Danny glances around, just to make sure no one is looking, before creating a tiny ice patch right in front of Vlad. He tries to keep his laughter muffled (but definitely takes pride) when the billionaire-asshole slips and sends him a particularly nasty glare. He gives Vlad the most innocent wave he can muster despite the grin on his face.

Danny thinks he probably needed that meeting with Vlad. While he still doesn’t want the crown, Danny finds that spite is one hell of a motivator to keep the crown as far away from Vlad as possible.

-----------------------------------

Skulker comes last. To Danny’s horrified surprise, he bows low and says, “Congratulations.”

Danny stands in his pajamas at three o’clock in the morning and feeling slightly overwhelmed. “Alright, this is more than a little weird.”

“It’s custom to greet the new king,” Skulker says and straightens back out. Danny’s half waiting for a gotcha! and some missiles but Skulker doesn’t do much more than observe him.

Danny narrows his eyes and crosses his arms. “Do you have to be weird about it?”

“Don’t get me wrong, whelp,” Skulker says as he turns to leave. “This will not last. I hope you realize that just because you are king does not mean I will stop hunting you. Your crown just makes you that much more valuable to mount on my wall.”

Danny shifts between feeling touched and a little relived at the normalcy of the situation and the normal disgust that comes with Skulker threatening to skin him because, really, it’s just gross. Despite his words, he still hears the silent message Skulker is trying to convey.

Just because your king doesn’t mean anything will change.

And that? That’s more than a little relief off his shoulders. For the first time since he was crowned, Danny lets out a genuine bark of laughter and a grateful smile comes to his face.

“Thanks,” Danny says. “I don’t think I’d have it any other way.

#i wrote all 7k of this in one day so Thats Neat #anyways theres too much angsty in the danny phantom fandom so im making it my lifes mission to write not-angst #danny phantom #phic #phicc #i think thats what this fandom calls fanfiction uuuhhhhhhh #danny fenton #danny phantom fanfiction #my fics #phandom #idk what else to tag this as so just take it #do readmores even work on mobile or is tumblr like. broken.

34 notes · View notes

anarcoqueer1994 · 5 years

Text

Trans Platonic Tarty Story part 6.

So this is most like my last part! Thank you everyone for reading and reblogging. Probably going to start a new Trans TJ story soon with less focus on the coming out parts.

This is a heavy Marty chapter with some Muffy moments. I hope you like it!

Also remember that you are valid whether you pass, don't pass, or don't want to. How you live your gender or lack there of is up to you. <3

Marty felt so stupid running off from his friends like that. He just doesn't know what else to do right now. He knows TJ isn't mad at him for not coming out. He knows that TJ is right about it being his choice to make about when or if he wants people to know he is trans. He understands this all objectively. But knowing something doesn't necessarily change how you feel, and right now Marty feels like a coward.

He ran off from the lunch table leaving his very confused friends to piece together what just happened. When he finally stopped running, he finds himself under the bleachers around the football field. He collapses onto the patchy grass under the metal seats above him. Usually running helps him feel better, at least for a bit, but not today.

He had been doing so well, the past few months. He finally got out of that emotionally exhausting and abusive household where he couldn't be himself. He had formed a really great friendship with TJ. And most excitingly of all, he was finally dating the girl that has been invading his dreams every night for the past year and a half. He should be the happiest he has ever been, but right now, in this moment, every negative thought that has ever crossed his mind about himself, is racing through his brain.

He feels so angry. He wants to blame someone else. Maybe it was his parents for fucking him up and causing all this internalized guilt for just being himself? Maybe he was mad at the few kids at school for being so hateful towards TJ for coming out, that made him terrified to do the same. Maybe he was mad at TJ for coming up with this stupid shirt idea in the first place?

No. None of these were it. He was mad at himself for not being brave and he was mad that he lived in a world where you had to be brave to be open about being trans. He couldn't just be open with an expectation of no one having a problem because there was always going to be people who wouldn't be kind. It's really not fair. When you are born and the hospital assigns your gender, nobody questions it. But if you go against that assignment, it's a whole damn thing.

As he is mauling this over, only making himself more and more upset, he sees someone sit down beside him out of the corner of his eye. "Buffy, you didn't need to follow me."

"I mean, I kind of did. I don't know for sure but I am pretty sure it's part of the whole girlfriend job." She smiles, trying to lighten the mood. The boy sitting beside her, doesn't look. He anxiously messes with his shoe lace, while remaining silent.

"Marty, Kira is a mean, horrible person. Those things she said to TJ and Cyrus were inexcusable. But you didn't do anything wrong." She rests her hand on his knee.

"Well that doesn't change the fact that I stood there and did nothing, Buffy. You literally got in school suspension for standing up to Kira and I was a coward." He says, eyes not leaving the patch of ground below him.

"Marty…that's not true. You are not a cowa… "

"I don't need you to lie to me." He interrupts, coming off way angrier than attended.

She looks a little stunned at how harshly he talked to her but tries to brush it off. She knows he isn't really mad at her. She takes a deep breath. "I'm not lying to you, you aren't a coward. Its okay to protect yourself against toxic people like Kira. TJ and Cyrus know you care and they definitely don't blame you for not saying anything. It's your choice to come out on your terms."

He clutches a clump of grass and dirt. "Everyone keeps saying that to me, that it's my choice. Like it is that simple! But it's not. I feel like my head wants to do a 1000 different things at once. I don't want it to be some secret but it scares me to think of anyone besides our friends finding out. This would be so much better if I was born cis. If I didn't have to hide behind tight binders and loose shirts to be myself. " An angry tear forms in the corner of his eye. He quickly pushes his palm against it, pressing so hard he sees specs of color. "Jesus Christ."

Buffy opens her mouth to speak but is at a loss for words. She quickly closes it again. She doesn't know how to help him. He clears his throat. "I'm going to go."

"What about your afternoon classes?"

"What about them?" He says coldly before turning and walking away. Buffy, against every instinct she has to meddle, let's him walk away.

***********

Marty really doesn't know what his plan was, walking off from school like that. He knows his aunt won't be very happy about it when she finds out, but he didn't really care. He needed to be away from that school. He does regret how he treated Buffy though. She didn't deserve for him to treat her so coldly.

He walks for a while, careful to avoid main streets so he doesn't get caught. He doesn't know who he can talk to. The two people he usually turned to, he couldn't. He had blown off Buffy and TJ had his own shit to deal with right now. He thought about running, maybe take some things off his mind but that was too risky in the middle of the school day. So he decides to just go home...but not to his aunt's house.

He was headed to his parents house. He knew they both were at work right now so he would be alone. But also since they were at work, the house was locked. Luckily his old bedroom window was at the back of the house. So when he got there, all he had to do to get in was climb the tree and crawl in through the window.

When he stepped foot into his old room, it seemed unrecognizable. His parents quickly erased all remnants of ever having a child. The blue walls had been painted a deep burgundy. There were 2 black leather recliners in the corners of the rooms with a large smart TV screen against the opposite walls. There were some other miscellaneous things placed in the room, DVDs, some shelves with tons of books, etc. His parents had basically erased the child they were ashamed of with a room full of stuff that will always be more important to them.

With books, and movies, and TV shows, they could choose what they wanted to see. It was in their control. But with Marty, they couldn't control him and force him to be something he was not forever. He was always just going to be an inconvenient thorn in their side.

He suddenly regrets coming here. He doesn't quite understand what he wanted to accomplish. Maybe he was hoping that his bedroom wouldn't of been changed. That they maybe kept it the way he left it because they missed and hoped he came back. He wanted some proof that his parents loved him. But all they did was ignore the fact that they ever had a child.

He feels so angry, and hurt and even worse than he felt at school. He doesn't even know how it happened, but he finds himself walk the room, when he stops at a small framed picture on the side table next to one of the chairs. It is a picture of his mom and dad, but it looks familiar. He takes the backing off the frame and pulls the picture out. His heart drops into his stomach when he realizes that the picture had been folded to cut him off. It had been their family picture from the year before where his mom had forced him to where something "more feminine."

He hated the picture because he didn't look or feel like himself in it. But it hurts more to know that now, his parents were just hiding him and existence. He puts the picture back the way he found it. In his head he knew he should just leave but apparently his body did not want to listen.

Without thinking, he picked the picture back up and chucked it across the room where it hit the TV, busting it before the picture fell to the ground, glass from the frame shattering. Once he got started, he couldn't stop, he let his anger take hold of him. He knocked over books and movies, and broke the nearby lamp in the process. He trashed the room.

Then he was left standing in the middle of the chaos he created. The floor littered with the objects his own parents valued over him. He took it all in. He hoped this would make him feel better but it didn't. It just served as a reminder that the people that created him, saw this trash that surrounded him as worth more than him. That he was less than trash.

Well he wasn't about to let them ignore him any more. They could hate him but couldn't just stamp him out. With what he had done, they couldn't just push him to the back burner. He grabs a sharpie that has ended up on the floor and in big black letters across the wall he wrote "DO YOU SEE ME NOW?" and with that, he climbed out the window and headed far away from that house.

**************

It was a few more hours until he finally headed back to his aunt's house. While he was out his phone died. He walks in to find her waiting at the kitchen table. She looks concerned.

"Marty?" She whispers.

He turns to her with blood shot eyes. He had been crying on and off since he left his old home. His voice cracks. "What?"

"I've gotten some interesting phone calls today." Her face looks apprehensive. Her voice is soft and caring. He can tell that she isn't mad at him as much as she was concerned. "Why did you leave school? Why did you go your parent's house? Your mom called."

He looks away. He takes a sharp, pained, breath. He tries to choke something out, but his words get stuck in his throat. He felt terrible for putting his aunt in this situation. He wishes this didn't affect her but it does.

If she is upset about that fact, she doesn't show it. She can see how hurt her nephew is and that is the only thing she cares about. She gets up without a word and wraps her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. He sniffled lightly again her shoulder. She doesn't say a thing, just gives him her unconditional love.

After standing there for a while, he quietly whispered, "I'm sorry…I'm sorry for causing any problems for you with my parents…"

"Baby, it's okay. I got it handle, okay?" Unknown to him, when his mom threatened to press charges on the phone, his aunt reminded her she could take her to court for child abandonment and child support.

"Okay. And um...thank you." He says timidly.

"For what?" She smiles

"For caring about me…" He says as he steps to walk away. He doesn't really want to talk more now. "Hey...um...can we talk later? I kind of wanna lay down." He asks.

"Yea, of course." She says as he walks up to his room and shuts his door. He collapses on his bed and tries to clear his mind. It is not working out that well.

After more of an hour of silence, he hears a knock on his door. It pulls him out of his head. He yells to whoever is outside the door. "Yeah?"

"Marty, it's me."

He scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. "Buffy? What are you doing here?"

"Your aunt let me in. Can I open your door?" Her voice sounds like she is trying to be positive but it is tinged with worry.

He clears his throat, "Yeah, come in."

"Hey." Buffy says as she pushes the door open enough for her to come in before closing it behind her. She steps closer to the edge of his bed. "Can I sit?"

"Um sure, look Buffy, I'm sorry." He starts as she sits on his bed, half facing him. "I'm sorry that I just left earlier. I shouldn't have just ran away. I was kind of a jerk to you too."

"Yeah you were." She jokes. "But that's not why I'm here." Her voice gets more destressed. "Marty, you really had me worried. You ran off and weren't answering your calls."

"I'm...sorry." He exhales into an annoyed sigh but it wasn't aimed at Buffy. It was aimed at himself. "My phone died."

Buffy reaches forward and grabs Marty hand. "It's okay, I just care about you a lot."

Marty tries to joke. He puts on a half smile and says "Watch it, Driscoll, you getting soft on me?"

She chuckles back. Keeping her voice low, she implored, "So, what did you do?"

He quickly looks away while rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "Something stupid…" He confesses.

"You wouldn't be the first person to do something stupid today. I got myself in school suspension...with Kira" She says in disgust.

"I broke into my parents house?" He continues to not look at her.

'Marty...why? What if you would of got caught?" Her eyebrows are raised in a mixture of confusion and surprise.

He finally meets her eye. "Yeah, I didn't think that far. But they weren't home so they didn't see me."

"Oh good so they don't know you were there?"

He lets out a dry laugh. "Oh no, they definitely know I was there."

"What...did...you...do?" Emphasizing each word with a pause.

He places his other hand over Buffy's so that her hand is sandwiched between his. "It just happened, Buff." His voice sounded weak and defeated. "I went into my room to see if it changed. And it definitely did. They got rid of anything I didn't take with me. They made it a home theater. They purposely blotched out any reminder that I ever occupied space in their lives. They even cut me out a stupid family picture." His breath sounded more labored now like he was trying to keep himself together and force himself not to cry.

"Marty, I'm so, so sorry…" She says, kicking off her shoes, so she could scoot closer onto the bed. She removes her hand from his, just for it to reappear on his shoulder a few moments, arm pulling him tight.

"I just wanted to believe that my parents really did love and we would someday get past this. But I don't think we ever will…and when I saw all that stuff, I was so angry. So I wrecked the room. I don't even know why. But part of me hoped that at least I could get some reaction off of them. Something so I could pretend that they care. But they don't."

"Well they didn't deserve to have a son as funny, and athletic, and...sweet…" She smiles into the word "...as you. I mean that, okay? Your parents made their choice, and now they will never get to see all the great things you are going to do."

He can't help but smile at her words. He really is lucky to have the people who chose to stay in his life. "Hey, guess what?" His mood is notably lighter.

"What?"

"One good thing came out of today. I realize I have a lot bigger problems than some terrible kids at school. At the end of the day, they are just other kids. It's nowhere near as bad as full grown adults hating you for just existing, especially when they are your parents. So…" he trails off.

"So what?" She urges for him to finish.

"So I'm going to come out tomorrow. I know some kids are going to be assholes but Like you said…They made their choice. And I am making mine."

"Marty, are you sure?" She asks, to verify if that is what he really wants.

"Yeah. I'm tired of so much of my life being dictated by fear. I don't have to worry about people finding out if they already know. Even if it is terrible, I know my girlfriend and my friends have my back." His voice changes to a more silly competitive tone, "Plus TJ is already beating me on this coming out thing, so I really gotta step up my game." He cracks a goofy grin.

Buffy laughs before resting her head on his shoulder. "You are really full of surprises, Marty…"

"What can I say? I am." He holds onto her too.

***********

The next morning, Buffy meets Marty at his house so they can walk to school together. As they get closer to the school, Buffy asks "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." He admits.

"What's your plan?"

"I think I'm just going to wing it?"

"Which means?" She asks as they climb the steps leading into the school.

"Not sure." He answers before opening the door to the crowded, busy hallway. They spot their friends in the hallway. TJ is still glued to Cyrus' side more than usual but he looks like he looks happier today. When Jonah, Andi, Cyrus, and TJ notice Buffy and Marty, they immediately smile over to them.

He can't help but feel great in that moment. He had friends who really cared about him even after he accidentally outed himself to them yesterday. Buffy has his hand in hers as they walk closer. A few feet from them though, he stops, drops Buffy's hand and turns to face the hallway, packed with students. He clears his throat loudly before speaking over everyone in there. "Hey excuse me?"

Andi walks close to Buffy and whispers "What is he doing?"

"I think he's winging it?" She says back equally as quiet. Her attention turns back to Marty as he continues.

"I just want everyone in here to know that I'm trans. I'm trans guy. And no I don't want any weird questions. Google it."

Moments later, a few chuckles leave the now quiet hallway. But when Buffy moves forward and stands next to him, the laughs go quiet. Most likely because they saw what she did to Kira.

"So no one has a problem,right?" He finishes, looking around, trying to hide his overwhelming sense of anxiety. But before long, the hallway chatter starts back up seemingly not fazed by the revelation. He feels better at the lack of reaction.

The rest of his friends step closer. TJ goes and stands in front of him. "That was sudden."

"Well a lot of things came into perspective last night." Marty smiles.

"So...l I guess we are doing this coming out thing together?" TJ's voice is full of relief but will never admit to it if you ask him. He is just happy to be going through this with his best friend.

"I guess so, man." He lets out an airy laugh through his nose.

"And you have all of us, too." Buffy says, taking her boyfriend's hand, with Cyrus nodding and doing the same to TJ. Andi and Jonah also smile in agreement.Marty realizes that in this moment, it can really only get better from here.

Tag List: @abg-blah @kippens-a-goodman @purplefacey @thefaeriemagic3 @tyrus-is-everything

#andi mack #muffy #marty trans #trans!tj #tyrus #andi #jonah #cyrus

21 notes · View notes

all-at-once-you-are-the-one · 5 years

Text

Stream of Consciousness Lover Album Reaction

I wrote out my first thoughts while listening to the album and put them in one big post. I hope you find them as funny as I do lmao

1. I Forget That You Existed

LOL so that’s what the drake Easter egg was about!

Who is this about????

NIIIIiiiiiiiiiIIIiiiiCE

SHE SOUNDS SO GOOD

I JUST FORGOT WHAT THEY WERE LMAOOO

HER LAUGH!! SO CUTE!!

This track is somehow savage and adorable at the same time

So......yeah.......

ShnfhKJHGKSHDKGHSKGHSJG

2. Cruel Summer

This is giving me Katy perry vibes

The devils roll their dice line is from this?? Didn’t expect that

This is maybe the catchiest song I’ve ever heard

Why is this not a single??????

STILL DONT KNOW WHAT SUMMERS A KNIFE MEANS

EXPLAIN TAYLOR

This also kind of gives me Jonas brothers vibes, why???

Again.....what is this about???

OooOOoooOooWhoooooAAAAhh i loveeee this

OOOH no you know what this gives me GETAWAY CAR vibes

Wait...do we think that at the beginning joe wanted to keep their relationship private and Taylor agreed but then changed her mind? WAIT NO.....is this about her having to keep her love for joe secret at first the summer they met because she was with someone else/it was too soon??

3. Lover

Ok SUPER WEIRD transition into lover but OK

As much as I love albums with a clear narrative like rep I also like being all over the place so this is fine

CAN I GO WHERE YOU GOOOOOO

FOR EVER AND EVER ANDIIIII

YOURE MY MY MY MYYYYY LOVER

I wonder what inspired her to use the term lover? Does she not know that normal people don’t speak like that?

WAIT IS THE REASON LOVER COMES AFTER CRUEL SUMMER because of the 3 summers line?? Like look how we started...now were here

Does the album begin with i forgot you existed because its like ok this Kanye situation happened...but now were gonna forget about that and talk about the realer real story of the past couple years of my life rather than seeing it through the lens of that story like on rep

4. The Man

THE ACCURACY

THE ACCURAACCCCYYYYYYYYY

IT HUUURRTTSSS

Honestly though i actually thought this one would be more savage, i thi

DID SHE JUST SAY BITCHES AND MODELSSSS?????

SLJGSHUKGHKDG

Never mind this is as savage as i wanted

I should know better than to judge a Taylor song before the bridge

Again why isn’t this a single.....it better be

5. The Archer

The emotional whiplash this album is giving me is insane.

It’s like RED but with synths

Is the archer placed here because part of her lack of self confidence comes from the things the media says about her (because she’s a woman not a man?) INTERESTING THOUGHT

Don’t have much else to say about this, we already know

.....

Wow the cake i bought for tonight is somehow way too sweet

6. I Think He Knows

Definitely didn’t think i think he knows was about being horny af

But this is so catchy

Why is everything so catchy?? Literally every song should be a single

BOY I UNDERSTAND the confidence!! After the archer!! I love that he makes her feel that way1!!

I THINK HE KNOOOOOOOWWWWSS

This gives me teenage dream vibes and i fucking love that song

7. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

Ok time for the one with the weird title

I love how she keeps comparing her current feelings to how she felt as a teenager!! How its the same and different....very good.

SHES A BAD BAD GIRL

More dice!

Is she imagining what it would be like if she was in this relationship in high school? Because I DO THAT ALL THE TIIIIME GIRL SAME

THATS MY WHOLE WORLD SOOOO CUUUUTE

YOU PLAY STUPID GAMES YOU WIN STUPID PRIZES

VOTED

MOST

LIKELY

RUN

AWAY

WITH

YOU

I really like this one. I didn’t expect I would.

This should be a single.

8. Paper Rings

THE VOICE EFFECT

She’s singing so fast on these songs!!!! I CANT KEEP UPP

UH HUH

THATS RIGHT

This is so retro and i loooooooooooooooooooooove it

DIRTY DREAMS??????? TAYLOR PLEASE

OMG THE COLOUR WE PAINTED YOUR BROTHERS WALL

THE PICTURE

FROM THE REP MAGAZINES

SDIHGUSHGUKHDZRKUGHKUDZHGUHDZGHDKZHGYIDZJLGJLDJGJSDJGDHZGHLGHLSHGHDG

II LIKE SHINY THINGS

THIS SONG IS SO FUN! ALL THESE SONGS ARE SO FUN!!

Ok baby boy that’s kinda weird but you know what..

....

Ok its still weird but maybe it will grow on me

This should be a single.

9. Cornelia Street

HERE IT IS!!! THE FIRST TAYLOR PRODUCED SONG

I NEVER WANT CORNELIA STREET AGAIN?? WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?? THEIR WORST FIGHT? ANOTHER RELATIONSIP? QUESTIONS

The storytelling!

Wait......is this about before they ran away together in CIWYW?? Like she thought he didn’t really want her so she was gonna run away alone...but then he was like no i really do lets go

I totally thought that this was the one with the staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town line was from

She ended it with the line she started with (i think)? Ike she used to!

Kinda feel like people hyped this one up too much but i do like it

10. Death by a Thousand Cuts

The piano!!!!

Like a thousand notes a thousand cuts

Look through the windows of this love - like the heart on her eye! I get it I GET IT lmaoooo

If this song was on red it would have the saddest production but on this album its a bop

11. London Boy

IS THAT JOE??? OMG lmao

HER ACCENT LMAOOOOOOOOO

I don’t know if this song is supposed to be as hilarious as i think it is but i really do think its hilarious

What does like a Tennessee Stella McCartney even mean????

I kinda feel like this song is too specific to her life to be relatable so maybe that’s why i feel that way about it?

12. Soon You’ll Get Better

Ok great... so we went from that to the sad one

I have to prepare

I didn’t tell you i was scared....

Cause you have to...

The fact that this is the country song...

I cant

GOD NOW IM CRYING THIS IS SO SAD

That was the only song so far i had to actually stop typing for. God....I’m so sad for her and her family.

13. False God

I can barely take this song in because of what just came before.

But i really like it. And i really like the theme of religion on this album

14. You Need to Calm Down

NOW YNTCD IS PLAYING

??? IM LITERALLY SOO SAD FROM SOON YOULL GET BETTER STILL

I CANT

PROCESS

THIS

This album is literally all over the place, i keep trying to assign a narrative to it and its not working out so I’m just gonna give up

Sometimes albums are just collections of songs and not a coherent, linear story and that is ok! Even if its not what i prefer

It certainly didn’t bother me on her first few albums.

The one thing i take away from this is like...no wonder she’s so determined to be so overly positive, i think for her its that or break down crying in the face of what’s happening in her family

15. Afterglow

I really love this song!!! Hashtag relatable

......

Man..you can really tell even just from my typing that my heart isn’t in this anymore after that song

Fuck

I think I’m just sad for me too, because i know that i will go through that too sooner rather than later and I already have friends dealing with losing a parent.

16. ME!

My only thought on this is god bless brendon Urie for injecting so much additional joy and energy into this song and making Taylor happy, i just get the vibe that she really needed that

ALSO WHAT THERES REALLY NO HEY KIDS SPELLING IS FUN

TAYLOR EXPLAAIAIIIIIIIAIAIIAN

We’ll see if its on my physical cd copies when they arrive...if not then maybe it was always planned to be a line only in the single version

17. It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Ok I don’t really like this song that much but i really like the messages she’s trying to send like...real love feels like hanging out with a childhood bestie, so comfortable

18. Daylight

I WAS LIKE MEH

BUT THE FUCKING BRIDGE

THE BRIDGE

IM EMOTIONALLY DESTROYED

Also something about the chorus reminds me of the chorus of starlight

STEP INTO THE DAYLIGHT AND LET IT GO

YES

I WAS LIKE NO IS THAT NOT A LYRIC??

BUT IT ISTHANK GOD

THE END

YOU ARE WHAT YOU LOVE

THAT WAS LIKE

MY MANTRA FOR A COUPLE YEARS A WHILE BACK

BECAUSE

I LOVED SO MANY PEOPLE BUT THEY DIDNT LOVE ME

AND I WANTED TO BE DEFINITED BY THE FACT THAT I LOVED THEM NOT THAT HTEY DIDNT LOVE ME

IIIIIIIIIIII

IN CONCLUSION:

My feelings are everywhere. Some songs disappointed me but some blew me away - soon you’ll get better is basically the new Never Grow Up for me which is saying a lot. Everything is catchy a hell though even the songs I didn’t like as much. Ultimately i would have liked more songs about varying subject matter esp. self love but as it is, it is still somehow so all over the place. It really just shows how many emotions and phases can be contained within one relationship (i mean I’m assuming every song about a relationship is about joe). I really think that the song about her mom maybe should have been placed somewhere else...I don’t know where I would have put it but that shit is HEAVY. I am so honored that she and her family would share that with us though. I have a million question about how Andrea is doing and if my theory on why tour hasn’t been announced is correct...maybe she will explain more in the interviews/secret session audio we’re getting in the next couple days. I think my favorite song is Lover but that may change. I don’t think any song on here tops my current all time favorite Taylor song though which is CIWYW. That’s a little disappointing but not every song or album has to be my fave! And this album will probably grow on me esp as i hear Taylor’s explanations of it. Rep did. I really did nooott feel good about most of rep at first, it took a few days.

#lover reaction #lover album reaction #lover #taylor swift

2 notes · View notes

chocoluckchipz · 5 years

Text

Home Fur Christmas

Read it on A03, WattPad, FF.net

It all started a few weeks ago when Mme Bustier announced that this year their class would be participating in a "Secret Santa" game with a little twist, more specifically - it would be a competition of who could think of the best gift for their assigned person. The main idea was to get to know their classmates a little better before their graduation this spring since to win they had to make an effort and really think, maybe, even do some research for their presents to reflect the personality and preferences of the recipient. Imaginations could run wild, but the presents had to be given anonymously on Christmas Day. They could be sent by mail, dropped off at the door, asked to be delivered by a friend, etc. However, the recipient couldn't know who their present was from under any circumstances - that would automatically disqualify the sender from the competition. After obtaining their gifts, the recipients had to write a mini-essay on how they felt their gift was appropriate and how it made them feel. The giver of the best "made me feel special" present would receive a valuable award. Some rumours said it to be an impressive amount gift card to the nearest mall, others - tickets to an event of your choice, VIP lounge, backstage access. At any rate, everyone was very excited, motivated and eagerly preparing for the Secret Santa of their lives.

That same afternoon the names were put into individual envelopes and given out. Adrien received Nathaniel. He didn't know much about the boy, but everyone knew he loved art so without any delays Adrien walked into a high-end art store and bought art supplies any artist could use, trying not to go overboard to not give himself away as the only one in class, apart from Chloe, who could splurge a small fortune on a present. Next, he packed everything up in nice packaging and gave it to a courier with instructions to be delivered on Christmas Day. Having done that, Adrien decided to forget about the present he was supposed to receive for now. It was still a week before the big day so why worry and stress about it beforehand?

Imagine his surprise when two days before Christmas he received a letter from his “Secret Santa” telling him to pack his things for the weekend, expect the weather to be snowy and be ready by 12 pm to be picked up at his front door. Amazed, he couldn't believe it at first but, remembering that his father was away for a week and wouldn't be even in town on Christmas Day, Adrien decided to risk it. Hesitantly, he found Natalie and inquired if she wouldn't mind letting him go away for a few days without telling his father. To his surprise, Natalie answered that he was already booked for the next four days starting today at 12 pm by someone called “Secret Santa” and that his father had been aware and approved of this event. Of course, she would accompany him along with his personal driver. Adrien gulped, grinned and excited beyond his wildest beliefs rushed upstairs to pack his bag.

At 12 pm sharp one of his father's cars pulled at the front door. Natalie slipped into the front seat as Adrien opened the back door only to find Nino already sitting there. The four of them travelled for most of the day with just a few stops, yet the only information Adrien was able to get out of his friend was that this trip was indeed Adrien's present from his Secret Santa and that this person would be there but he couldn't tell him who it was for self-evident reasons. By the evening they arrived, much to Adrien's surprise, to his father's cottage in the French Alps. It was a huge house, rivalled only by his mansion in Paris and they rarely used it. However, today it was buzzing with life as numerous adults and kids roamed around. Upon their arrival, Adrien found out at last that it was Nino, Alya and Marinette's families that would be sharing the next few days with him, including Christmas and meaning that this year Adrien wouldn't be spending the holidays alone in his mansion. Adrien gulped. Being surrounded by his friends and their families on holidays at this now warm and welcoming mountain cottage was the best present he could've ever received, and the only thing that could've made it better would be his father's presence, but that was, unfortunately, impossible.

The next day, as soon as Adrien woke up, his friends informed him that they were going to the nearest ski resort and that he was going along, no objections accepted. That brought him here – staring in shock at his careless, ignorant friends who seemed to be eager to send Marinette on her last journey.

Adrien couldn't shake the shock off. They were definitely either suddenly exceptionally ignorant, or they simply didn't care for their friend anymore, which wasn't like them at all. Then maybe he was missing something? Because this was Marinettethey were talking about. Marinette, who during their last year in school was still tripping on nothing from time to time. City-widefamouslyclumsyMarinette. Marinette who finally stopped stuttering and freezing around him only around a year ago at the age of seventeen, but still couldn’t sometimes keep her balance. That was adorable in a way but snowboarding? Really? Why in the world were both Nino and Alya so calm and fine with that idea? Adrien didn't know, but unlike them, he was too young to see one of his closest friends die just because the other two hadn't cared enough for her.

“Well, then I guess I'm going with Mari,” Adrien declared, murmuring under his breath as he walked away, “Someone has to keep an eye on her to make sure she is still alive for Christmas.”

“You are so welcome, girl,” Alya winked at Marinette as soon as Adrien disappeared inside the rental facility to exchange his skis for the right equipment. “Please, don't waste this chance again. I can't wingman for you forever. He'll start to suspect things soon, and then you are on your own.”

“Alya,” Marinette scolded her slyly smiling friend. “I told you already multiple times - this weekend is for Adrien to enjoy himself, not for you to scheme around. It's hopeless anyway,” she breathed out sadly. “Adrien sees me only as a friend, and you know it. I am not so stupid anymore to understand that. Sometimes I even feel that I should just give up and maybe give someone else a chance.”

“Oh, and is there someone else?” Alya teased.

A light blush that suddenly appeared on Marinette’s face threatened to tell a lot more than the girl was comfortable to share for now, but fortunately for her, Alya suddenly turned around, threw a quick “Good luck!” and tugged Nino away without any explanation. As soon as the pair disappeared into the crowd, Marinette understood the reason for the rush.

“Did the guys leave already?” Fully equipped for snowboarding Adrien appeared behind her.

“Yup, you just missed them,” she smiled at him. “We should head out too.”

“Mari, hey wait,” Adrien caught her sleeve. “Are you- are you absolutely sure- about this whole thing- I mean snowboarding thing?”

“What? Are you scared?”

“No,” he yelped. “I am just- well, I'm concerned?”

“About what?” Marinette cocked her head to the side. She suspected what Adrien was concerned about, but she wanted to hear him say it. She chuckled to herself - Adrien is in for quite a surprise, and after this trip, she was sure he would never look at her the same way.

“Well, you know- you- I mean- Honestly, I don't want to sound mean or anything—" Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, “—it doesn't mean that I don't think that- that you are capable, or anything-”

“Is this about me being clumsy and tripping a lot?” Marinette finally took pity on him.

“Mayyyyyybe?” Adrien bit his lower lip under Marinette’s stern look. “Mari, look. I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“I won’t,” she replied calmly and picked up her equipment. “Let’s go and don’t worry, Adrien. I can snowboard.”

“But don't you think skiing would've been a safer choice?” he asked, following her to the lift station.

“Nope,” Marinette smiled. “Skiing requires me to use my two feet separately with two long sticks tied to them and, as you know, I will trip over nothing. Do I need to explain what will happen as soon as I try to ski?”

Adrien sighed and shook his head.

“Good,” Marinette continued. "Snowboarding, on the other hand, ties both of my feet to a single board, so I have fewer chances of that. Hence for me, snowboarding is safer."

“But it also requires a lot of balance and- you know, other similar skills,” Adrien added nervously, not knowing what other skills exactly apart from balance it would require since, to be honest, he'd never snowboarded before. For Adrien, though, it wouldn't be a problem. Being a superhero had its perks and kept Adrien in top-notch physical shape. He also, grew up skateboarding in his room all the time which looked quite similar to snowboarding in techniques. However, Adrien doubted Marinette had practiced either of those sports or had his stamina. At least, not that he knew of her and Adrien liked to think that he'd known a lot about his friends.

“And you think I don't have what it takes?” Marinette stopped and stared at him.

His smile tensed. “I didn't say that.”

For a moment Marinette narrowed his eyes; then breathed out a heavy sigh. It was the weekend for him after all, she reminded herself. Putting her board down, she smiled at him, her face filling with tenderness.

“Alright,” she said. “If you don't want to go snowboarding, that's fine. We can do something else instead as long as we both enjoy it, deal?”

Her eyes full of softness and love, she asked, “What do you, Adrien, want to do?”

Adrien didn't answer. Not right away, at least. Stunned, he just stood there and stared back speechless. There were only a few times he had heard this phrase in his life and all of them were too far back in his memory to even remember right away. He thought it was his mom who used to say that, but not anymore. Now it was always, “Adrien do this!”, “Adrien wouldn't you do that?”, “I expect you to fulfill this, Adrien!”, “It's your duty, Adrien!”.

It was never “Adrien, what do you want to do?” anymore.

Accustomed to such ways, Adrien hadn't even considered what he wanted to do up to this point - skiing or snowboarding? He was just going with the flow. But now, still taken aback a bit, Adrien looked around for some other options of activities and not finding anything that would truly catch his attention, turned back to the girl in front of him.

“Are you sure you'll be fine snowboarding?”

“I was completely honest when I said that it was the safest option for me here.”

“Then I would like to snowboard too,” he smiled back, starting to walk ahead. “Just promise not to die on me, Mari. Or break something. Ok?”

Marinette giggled and followed Adrien, her thoughts running ahead of her. Graduation was less than six months away and their ways would part, probably, forever. Marinette sighed as her heart tightened. She had to give up on Adrien. She absolutely had to. Not on their friendship but on her futile crush. They'd been friends for three years, close friends for two and even after all this time, the best Marinette could muster was to not stutter around him as even the thought of confessing her true feelings to Adrien paralyzed her tongue every time. At this point in her life, Marinette didn't even really try anymore. There were things she just couldn't do, and maybe, just maybe, it was for the best to remain just friends until the end, especially because that silly Chat Noir was slowly but surely clawing his way right into her heart.

Marinette smiled to herself. At least, one thing with her partner was sure - Chat Noir loved Ladybug. He was loyal, honest, kind and funny. She trusted him with her life. She also loved him back and, to be frank, being at that age when she wanted to love, to date and to share experiences with that special someone, Marinette was seriously considering revealing herself to Chat. She didn't care who he was under that mask; her devotion to him grew every day, but for them to have a real chance, they needed to take down their masks. Getting nowhere with Adrien, Marinette was finally ready for that. In fact, it was as good as decided that after she goes back to Paris Ladybug would ask Chat Noir for a meeting and then- then everything would change.

“Hey, Mari, are you ready?” A familiar voice brought her out of her thoughts. “We have to get off soon.”

The girl looked around, stunned. How did she miss getting her gear on, getting on a ski lift and riding almost up to the top?

“Nervous?”

“No,” she smiled at Adrien and got ready. “Just was lost a bit in my thoughts. Thanks for alerting me.”

“Snow problem,” he grinned in return. Startled, Marinette blinked, looking at Adrien’s exceedingly satisfied face. There was a rumour floating around, started by Nino as far as the girl knew that Adrien loved puns, but no one was able to confirm it. Nino claimed that the blond opened up his true nature only to a few select people and he was very proud to be one of them. Actually, he seemed to be the only one so far, but who could validate it?

“Seriously?”

“It’s such an ice day, Mari.” Adrien continued to grin. “Don't give me the cold shoulder. I won’t be able to handle that and will have a meltdown. Purrr-etty please.”

“Oh, geez,” Marinette huffed and got off her seat.

Adrien followed closely behind. He slid a few meters before sitting down to adjust his bindings and straps. It took him only a few minutes, but when he lifted his head, Marinette was already heading down the hill. The start didn't look that bad - she was going slowly but confidently. No trembling, shaking or falling so far. Soon she stopped and turned around waving him to follow. Adrien smiled and tried to start. It shouldn't be hard. It should be just like skateboarding.

A few moments later they were on a roll. It was similar to skateboarding after all and Adrien got the hang of the moves pretty fast. His Chat Noir shenanigans also helped him to grasp the concept efficiently and quickly. But when proud of his achievements, he looked a little distance ahead of him, he almost lost his balance and flipped over. That couldn't be his clumsy friend Marinette so confidently and effortlessly snowboarding down the hill at full speed and not even breaking a sweat, smiling, enjoying herself and pulling all kinds of turns and stunts. The confidence he'd never suspected Marinette could possess was suddenly on a full display. Her obviously very fit, clad in a red snowsuit figure was gracefully gliding across the snow, and just for a moment, Adrien thought that she looked exactly like his Lady swinging between the roofs of Paris. The same confidence, same posture and moves, same drive- Adrien had to blink a few times to get back to reality.

“Must be missing Ladybug a lot,” he reasoned. “I haven’t seen her for a few days now so that must be it.”

A soft smile crept on his face as he started to imagine what the love of his life was probably doing now. Was she busy with the holidays? Was she with her family, her friends? Did she remember him for at least a moment? He hoped that Hawkmoth was also in the holiday spirit and took a break from his evil doings. He really should've had told her that he was leaving for the weekend, but it all happened so fast and spontaneous, he hadn't had a chance.

Bam!

Adrien didn't finish his thought as he flew straight into something – someone it seemed – at full speed and took that person down with him. They tumbled, limbs tangled together, boards painfully hitting their legs. He heard a yelp, and his head hit something hard when the rolling had finally stopped. His nostrils, however, hit the jackpot. Ever since he became Chat Noir, Adrien had heightened senses, but even without them, he would've been able to recognize this smell anywhere – a bouquet of warmth and sweetness, a mind-bewildering mix of vanilla, strawberry and chocolate. Only one person he knew so far smelled like this. Not that he was going around smelling people all the time, but Ladybug, the girl he was hopelessly in love with for the past three years, and he were caught in a few rather compromising and intimate positions more than a couple of times due to the nature of their extracurricular activity of saving Paris. Each time he had a speck of a minute to enjoy that heavenly scent and right now his nose was buried into the crook of someone's neck, and it smelled exactly like Ladybug.

Adrien’s eyes flew open as he raised himself above that person. He gulped as he realized just who was underneath him this time. To make sure that he didn't imagine things, Adrien removed her eye gear to see her full face, because her lips- he swallowed- her lips were dangerously similar to those he spent too much time dreaming of kissing - pink, full, luscious lips of his Lady. But then again - that was probably as well his wishful imagination. He must be missing her too much because there was absolutely no way. He shook his head and whispered,

“Marinette? Are you alright? I am so sorry. Please, say something.”

A few muscles on her face twitched as the girl let out a weak groan and opened her eyes looking right at him. His breath hitched. It must have been the striking contrast of the white snow or maybe the closest yet proximity to Marinette he'd ever had, but Marinette's eyes were sky blue just like- He swallowed uneasily.

“You have her eyes,” Adrien murmured before he could stop himself.

“Hmmm?” Marinette shifted, and Adrien drew back, sitting up and pulling her after himself. “Whose eyes?”

Adrien nervously chuckled, removing his goggles, but even that small delay wasn’t enough to come up with ideas to explain his words. So he mumbled again, “Did you know you have bluebell eyes?”

“Yes?” Marinette frowned. “I've had them my whole life. So, whose eyes do I have?"

“Um,” Adrien blushed, taking a better look at Marinette. It wasn't just the colour anymore. The shape, the curve, the swing of her eyelashes and the way she narrowed them at him at the moment. It all looked so similar.

"There is a girl I like,” he finally whispered, unable to come up with a better excuse on a fly. “She also has bluebell eyes- just like yours.”

Marinette blinked. Adrien liked someone? An unexpected revelation stung a little less than she thought it would. She probably had her growing feelings for Chat Noir to thank for that, but, in any case, this discovery only made her decision so much easier. Now Marinette knew for certain that she would give Chat Noir a chance once she was back in Paris.

“You like a girl?” she smiled back.

“Yes,” Adrien replied trying his best to avoid her gaze - it was unfair to compare his best friend and Ladybug. He didn't want to complicate anything on either field. He didn't want to look at either girl and think how similar, if not the same, their eyes were.

“And you never told us?” Despite the heartbreak, Marinette found herself a little curious. What kind of a girl could capture Adrien’s attention?

“Ummm,” Adrien stood up, nervously chuckling. “You guys don’t personally know her, so I didn't want to bring it up. Plus, she is not interested in me, so there was nothing to bring up in the first place.”

“How could any girl not be interested in you, Adrien?” Marinette rose up too. “You've made me curious. Now you have to tell me more.”

“It's a long story, Mari. Long and boring,” he nervously chuckled. “And there is no happy ending.”

“Well, is she taken yet?” asked Marinette while taking a closer look at her bindings.

“I don’t think so? At least she hasn’t told me that she is.”

“Then there is still a chance for you, right?” she smiled. “And, fortunately for me, it looks like we have plenty of time for your story.”

Marinette detached her board and showed him one of the straps. It was snapped in two, due to their collision.

“I can’t use it safely anymore so we’ll have to walk down the hill from here. A long and boring story will be quite appreciated.”

For a few minutes, Marinette waited for Adrien to remove his board before starting going down.

“So? The girl? Tell me more about her.”

“What do you want to know?” Adrien yielded. Marinette was one of his closest friends, his first and best friend, after Nino of course. Actually, that was probably debatable at the moment as well since the DJ started to spend so much time with Alya that Marinette could easily rival him for the title. If he'd be honest, she'd possibly win with no effort whatsoever because of how incredibly kind, talented, trustworthy, fun to be with and beautiful Marinette was. Adrien didn't think there was anything they didn't share as of now, apart from his superhero secret and everything that goes along with it, including, Ladybug and his love for her. But still, Marinette was so incredible that just for a moment, he found himself thinking that if it wasn't for Ladybug-

“I suspect you won't mention any names?” Marinette asked, breaking his train of thought. They slowly walked down the hill, their boards on their shoulders side by side but Adrien couldn't look at her anymore, as a thick blush rapidly filled his face, his last thought pounding on. Was there a chance he liked Marinette more than just a friend?

“I’m sorry but I can’t,” he answered her question to distract himself from his sudden realization. “She is kind of-”

“Don't worry. That's fine,” Marinette interrupted. “I understand. Tell me about her personality? How does she look? What does she like? You know, who is she as a person?”

“Well,” Adrien started, unable to withhold a lovesick grin that always seemed to creep on his face at the slightest mentioning of his Lady.

“She is the bravest girl I've ever met—" an image of Marinette standing up to Chloe and not faltering in the slightest suddenly popped into his mind. She was their class president for the last few years, beating Chloe out of the running a while ago. One must be quite brave to go against the force of nature that was Chloe Bourgeois.

“She’s really smart-” Adrien continued, feeling a bit uneasy. Marinette was also smart. She helped him to escape that Evillustrator glass cage. Her marks were impeccable, despite her frequently being late or absent from the class. She always seemed to have a solution for everything at a moment's notice. That diary box of hers that Sabrina tried to steal? It was worthy of separate praise. Marinette was brilliant. She was incredibly clever.

“She- she is ki- kind- very kind-” Adrien’s stomach tightened uncomfortably, his eyes widening as the memories of all little acts of kindness suddenly descended on him all at once. Marinette was exceptionally kind and considerate of others. The way she stood up for Mylène, for Juleka or even Ivan- How she never laughed at Nathaniel's crush on her but was quite understanding about it- how she worried about her uncle- She was especially kind to him too, giving him presents on every holiday. Except for that first year when his father gave him that blue scarf, Marinette had never forgotten his birthday and her handmade gifts were always the ones Adrien looked forward to the most.

“She- um- she hates l- lies-” Adrien felt like he really must have hit his head hard because how could you explain why he needed to remember at that very moment that Marinette absolutely despised lies as well. Chloe and that election, her uncle's soup sabotage, the hat competition! She always called out the liars. Marinette hated lies as much as Ladybug did.

“She is incredibly fit and coordinated,” he breathed out rapidly, almost proudly remembering his friend's famous clumsiness. You could say that Adrien brought this aspect up almost in self-defence because there was absolutely no possible way- His mind wandered back to just ten minutes ago, and he gulped. There has to be something different about the two girls! They couldn't be-

“She is- she is stunning. She has this gorgeous- black hair with a slightly- um- blue- bluish hue,” he glanced over. “Just… just like- just- like- yours. Freckles!” he almost cried out. “She has those tiny adorable freck-”

Marinette turned around, probably, to check if he was all right because Adrien Agreste sounded very strange right now - nervous, almost frantic and stuttered and he had never stuttered before. As their eyes met, Adrien almost jumped. More precisely Adrien froze as soon as he spotted adorable tiny freckles dusted on the plain of her nose.

“Ummm-” his voice trembled. He already compared their lips and their eyes, and somehow, he thought that checking the curl of Marinette's nose would be foolish but- too late.

“So, I think that’s it. Enough about me,” Adrien squeaked. He needed time to process this all- whatever it was. “Tell me about yourself? Do you like someone?”

Marinette sadly smiled, continuing to walk on. This girl must be rather incredible to render Adrien Agreste such a mess by merely speaking of her. There was absolutely no way Marinette could ever compete with someone like that - he obviously felt very strongly about this mystery person. In any case, Marinette was almost glad it came to this rather than her confessing to him and getting rejected, making their close friendship quite uncomfortable for both of them. Besides, it would be so much easier to move on and give Chat Noir a chance now that she knew that Adrien was out of the question. From now on, Adrien would be her friend only, no romantic feelings involved. Period. So Marinette might as well tell him that she likes someone else too and by doing so burn that bridge completely.

“I do actually,” she responded after a little while.

“Ohhhh! That's interesting,” Adrien seized the moment for changing the topic. “Tell me more.”

“Well,” she smiled. “I won't mention any names also, but he is my best friend.”

Adrien stopped. “I thought I was your best friend? Mari, don't tell me-”

“No,” Marinette giggled. “I do have a life outside of our time together, you know.”

Good, Adrien thought to himself but not without the slightest bit of a disappointment hidden deep inside. He wouldn't want it to become any weirder than he already managed to make it. Plus, it gave him a reason to ignore whatever feelings were just happening because falling in love with someone who didn't love him back was the last thing he wanted right now. Adrien already had one of those experiences and that was enough.

“But is he more handsome than this your best friend?” he found himself tease despite his better judgment.

“More handsome?" Marinette stopped and looked into the distance in concentration. She’d never contemplated the issue, to be honest. "Well, he also has blond hair and green eyes—" she glanced over at Adrien, “—and I think he is about your build and height.”

“Oh, so you have a type when it comes to best friends?”

“Pfft,” Marinette pouted. “Of course not. He might look similar to you, but he is completely different!”

Pausing for a moment, Marinette considered what she knew about both of the boys. Chat was kind, so was Adrien. Chat was brave, so was Adrien. Chat could fight very well. Adrien fenced, knew karate and was fit, so given a chance he would, probably, fare just as well. Chat- She glanced nervously at Adrien and met his curious stare as he waited for her response. Chat- Chat Noir was gentle and seemed to be lonely sometimes? Chat loved sweets? He was reliable? Trustworthy? Something tightened in her stomach. Chat was- What was Chat that Adrien wasn't?

“He loves puns!” she exclaimed.

Adrien felt his heart drop as he raised his eyebrow.

“I love puns too,” he pouted. “Espawcially cat ones. They are paw-sitively the best! Clawsomely and purrfectly apawling! Absolutely meowrvelous! Wouldn’t you say so, purrincess?”

Silently, Marinette stared back at him in horror for some while. He probably overdid it, Adrien thought. That's why he never punned with his civilian friends, apart from Nino and even that was on the very rare occasions. By now he almost accepted that people would never understand his genius.

“Mari, I am sorry-”

“I think we've had enough confessions for today,” she said, turning forward. “Let's go back before Alya sends a rescue party over here.”

Adrien sighed and silently followed his Lady's- no, wait, Marinette's lead. Yes, Marinette, his best friend Marinette, not his Lady Marinette. If only he could stop comparing them in his head over and over again- Then was it really so big of a stretch? No, of course not, because Marinette could definitely be Ladybug. She was that amazing. However, it was just too unbelievable that Adrien would be so lucky as to have her by his side all this time. Or maybe it was just too hard to admit that she was by his side all this time and he was so blind not to see her. So much for his undying love.

The trip back took them only about twenty minutes. Painfully silent twenty minutes that Marinette stomped down the hill while Adrien tried to keep up. Once they reached the bottom and returned their equipment, the girl quickly said that she was too tired for any more activities and needed to go back to the cottage. She told him to stay and wait for Alya and Nino so he could have more fun, but Adrien was in no state for fun himself. They awkwardly walked to the car together and asked Gorilla to drive them back. Twenty more excruciatingly uncomfortable minutes of silence in the car later, Marinette jumped out of the vehicle and zoomed to her room at the first opportunity with just a quick “Thanks. See you later. Bye!” Adrien sighed and headed to his room as well. He had a lot to think about because this- this seemed to be impossible but if it were real- it would change everything.

Marinette ran upstairs to her room as fast as she could and plopped on her bed as soon as the door was shut. She let Tikki out of her hiding place and handed her a cookie. Back to her kwami's concerned question, she murmured that she wanted to be alone. She needed to think because it couldn't be true! Adrien couldn't be Chat Noir! He just couldn't be him because if he were that would mean that- that both Adrien and Chat Noir loved somebody else; somebody so amazing that when he talked of her, he blushed and stuttered and couldn't hold himself together. If Adrien were Chat Noir, Marinette would be all alone and heartbroken.

Marinette didn't count the minutes –or was it hours – she fought her fears under the blankets, but when her cell displayed a message from Alya that they would be back in an hour, the girl noticed that the sun had already started to go down. Tikki peacefully snoozed close by so Marinette looked around the room in a desperate attempt to distract herself. She had to up her mood because her suspicions shouldn't spoil anyone else's evening. Especially Adrien’s. This trip was supposed to be his gift for Christmas. She wanted him to be happy, yet he probably thought her to be some crazy, irrational freak by now.

Her sight stopped on a brand-new sketchbook Chat Noir gave her the last time they saw each other. It wasn't the first time they'd exchanged Christmas presents, but it was the first one they decided that it would be acceptable to give each other something other than food, their usual presents. Food was safe - it could be eaten right away and prevent any possible accidental identity reveals, and they'd done food for years. This time, however, Marinette was already thinking of giving him a chance and so she decided that regular presents would be fine. Their identities' reveal would happen soon after anyway. She knitted him a scarf. He gave her this amazing, leather-bound sketchbook, which must have cost him a fortune. It had a thick cover and an intricate, stylish design on the front. The pages inside were top quality, the ones where you could draw and erase over and over again and it would still look good and clean. And it was thick. It would last her a good few months. Marinette smiled, picking up the book. She resolved right away to put only her best designs in there, and today she would create something amazing for sure. The girl quickly dressed up, took a few pencils and headed downstairs. There was an open deck behind the cottage. The mountain view from there was amazing and it was private enough for her to hide away and put herself back together before the others arrived. Sketching something would only help her.

Adrien was ninety-nine percent sure that Marinette was Ladybug. He had spent the last few hours comparing, analyzing and remembering everything there was to know about the two girls. Their appearances were identical. Their characters were the same. He never saw them standing together side by side or even in the same vicinity, apart from that Timebreaker akuma case but then there were also two Ladybugs in the end as well. Marinette also often ended up being in the same place Ladybug was supposed to be. He stopped short of putting it all in writing and drawing a few charts only because Plagg couldn't stop hysterically laughing at the idea. Well, too bad, because Adrien thought it was an excellent one. He walked up to the window and, looking at the mountains, sighed. If there only was a way to confirm that last percent-

At the corner of his eye, he suddenly saw a petite figure slipping from the house and quickly walking up to the terrace. The girl settled onto the stairs that led into a garden. She opened some book and started drawing. Adrien narrowed his eyes, then walked to the other window, trying to see the book from a different angle. Still, he couldn't distinguish it clearly, but it looked like- There was only one way to confirm. Rushing to his luggage, Adrien pulled something out and breathed in.

“Wish me luck, Plagg,” he whispered. “I’ll need it.”

Fresh air and her favourite pastime did wonder for Marinette. She had only been outside for about ten minutes but she already felt much calmer and more at peace. The mountains seemed to do that to her. The huge peaks covered in snow, so majestic and unwavering, perfectly content and satisfied all year round, be it covered in white powder or overgrown with greenery. They inspired and comforted, anchored to the solid ground. They calmed. Marinette picked a pencil up and started sketching. She looked at the remarkable view in front of her, her mind already creating a gorgeous mountain-inspired dress.

“Hey, Marinette.”

The girl almost jumped out of her skin when Adrien’s voice suddenly sounded loud and clear right next to her ear. She closed her eyes, trying to compose herself for a few seconds but sprung around to give him an earful for scaring the living daylights out of her a moment later.

“Adri-” her tongue froze mid-word as soon as her eyes fell on the scarf in his hands. Adrien grinned and immediately sat beside her.

“You looked a little cold,” he started nervously to rumble. “So I thought you’d like my scarflet. Or my blarf. I haven't decided yet, but it's big and it's warm and the girl I like- Do you remember I told you I like a girl? Yes, you do? Good, cause it was her- she made this for me and I am still not sure what to call it. What do you think – a scarflet or a blarf?”

With trembling hands Adrien wrapped around her petite frame the huge scarf/blanket hybrid that Marinette spent two weeks knitting after Chat Noir told her a story about his mama and how she used to have a huge scarf and how she always wrapped him in it and it was the warmest and the most comfortable thing ever and he loved it just as much as his mom. Well not as much, but it was a close second. That thing was so big that a small Chat Noir could swaddle himself up a few times in it and it was amazing. Unfortunately, it got lost a few months before his mother disappeared. He missed it less than his mama, but he still remembered it almost every time it snowed in Paris. When Ladybug handed him a package a few days ago, he didn't wait to get home to open it. The next half an hour they spent arguing about what to call it – a scarflet –Marinette's favourite– or a blarf –Chat thought it sounded much more hilarious.

“See?” Adrien continued nervously, quickly slipping under the “thing” as well. “Isn't it amazing? We can both fit in here and be warm. Oh,” he made a too fake to be true surprise sound. “That's a cool sketchpad you have there. Can I take a look?”

Shocked, Marinette stared back unable to utter a single word, so when Adrien casually tugged her book away, she let it go easily.

“That’s a cool sketchbook, Mari,” Adrien repeated himself. “I saw something like this at my father's office. Did you know that these covers have a secret compartment? Look. You just open here and you have to press there and then you pull this and voila!”

In astonishment, Marinette watched as somehow Adrien opened the back of the cover and pulled out a small card.

“Oh, hey,” he whispered. “Look, here is a note for you. Have you seen it?”

Adrien stashed the card into her hands. Marinette looked down and gulped. “Meowry Christmas and a Happy Meow Year, my Lady,” it said in neon green letters on a black background. She raised her eyes back at Adrien who at this point looked like he was on the verge of a meltdown himself. He looked at the card one more time before whispering with a shaky voice:

“I went for simple and almost discreet in case someone else would see it and I didn't use too many puns because I know you don't like them, but you'll have to agree that those I did use are pretty good. Classic.” Adrien tried to grin, but it was a shaky and miserable attempt. When Marinette failed to produce any other reaction apart from continuing to stare at him back in shock, Adrien's nervous smile disappeared. He sighed heavily and turned to look at the mountains instead.

“I'm sorry, Marinette,” he whispered a few moments later. “I probably should've said nothing. I know you didn't want to know who we are under those masks but, I guess, I was just a bit too excited that it was you, so I just couldn't keep it in.”

“When?” he suddenly heard a high-pitched squeal.

“When did I find out?” Adrien glanced at the girl who nodded slightly in response. “Just now, when we were going down that hill.”

“How?” Marinette asked again with a more stable but still a bit unusually high for her voice.

“Oh, that just came out of nowhere,” Adrien smiled to himself. “I noticed how you were snowboarding, and that reminded me of how you always fly across the Paris. And then,” he turned back to her. “Then I finally paid more attention to Marinette's eyes when I accidentally ran into you. Everything else just snowballed from there, you can say.”

“Marinette,” Adrien moved closer if that was even possible because at the moment they were sitting side by side covered by the huge knitted scarf. He took Marinette’s hand in his. The girl yelped and looked straight into his eyes. “I am sorry. I didn't think properly, and I should've. I should've respected your desire for privacy. It's just when I realized that you might be my Lady- and when you talked about the boy you like- you know- with blond hair and green eyes--" a small hopeful smile made it back on his face, "--and puns, the one who loves puns- I was kind of thinking- no, hoping that- that it was- me?”

Marinette blushed, blinking a few more times. Her lips parted but no words came out, so Adrien continued.

“Well, even if it wasn't me, I've always wanted to tell you how I feel about you, Mari,” he slowly brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.

“I love you, Marinette.”

Marinette went crimson. Her lips parted once more but nothing came out again. Then suddenly her eyes saddened and she looked to the ground.

“You mean Ladybug,” she whispered. “You love Ladybug, Adrien.”

“Yes and No,” the boy replied softly. His eyes never left hers while his hand gently took the girl's chin and he lifted her face to him. “I will confess, I still love Ladybug, but to be honest, when I thought about it today, I realized that you are so much cooler, Mari. Not only you possess all of the amazing traits I love Ladybug for, but you also have some extra.”

“You are my best friend, and I can see you whenever I want,” he smiled, gently taking her hand in his. “I can text you in the middle of the night because I have your number and I can take you on a date during the week with ease. Ladybug, on the other hand, appears only every so often and there is no set way for me to contact her anytime I want. I am not even contemplating the idea of us going out in public,” he chuckled to himself. “That would send media into a frenzy, and we’d both lose what little privacy we still have."

“Ladybug tends to keep her life private,” Adrien continued. “But about you, I know so much. Ladybug had never introduced me to her friends and would probably never do so. Your friends happened to be mine as well, and they are wonderful and I already like them.”

“You live in a bakery,” he grinned. Marinette giggled. “And as you know, I love sweets, so you are automatically a better choice. There is so much I don't know about Ladybug, Mari.” His face became instantly more serious. “A lot of things she would never tell either Chat Noir or Adrien. A lot of things she can't tell me for valid reasons. A lot of things I wouldn't be able to tell her also and- I don't think a relationship with lots of secrets between us would work in the long run.” Softly, Adrien brushed Marinette's bangs and tackled some loose hair behind her ear as the girl's blush deepened. “You are also much more beautiful without the mask covering half of your face.”

Unbeknownst to both of them, by this moment Adrien ended up a lot closer to Marinette than before. She could feel the warmth of his body, his soft touch on her hands, his fresh breath on her lips as he leaned even closer.

“Please, tell me you were talking about me, Princess,” Adrien almost purred into her lips, his eyes half-lidded, wandering back and forth from her eyes to her lips. He cupped her cheek and whispered once more: “Please, Mari, tell me, it's me.”

“It has always been you,” Marinette finally whispered back. The next moment she felt something warm and sweet and soft and mint-scented pressing against her lips just as Adrien's strong arms wrapped her in a tight hug. Her head spun, but only a moment later the girl relaxed into his touch and closed her eyes. He angled his head at once and deepened the kiss. Marinette melted, finally responding, and it felt amazing! At this very moment, she didn't care about anything. All that mattered was that Adrien tightly snuggled her to his own warm, muscular frame as he was gently kissing her. Her head kept on spinning, to the point of even her name becoming an abstract concept. Who was she and why do people need to breath when they can be perfectly happy being kissed by Adrien Agreste?

“Hmmm,” someone suddenly cleared his throat just behind them. Adrien pulled back immediately and tensed. His face paled the moment he laid his eyes on the intruder.

“Father?" he asked, his eyes widening and voice cracking in a surprise. “What are you doing here?”

"No ‘welcome home, Father’ or at least a ‘good evening'?" Gabriel's eyebrow rose up. “Where are your manners, Adrien?”

“I'm sorry,” Adrien replied, standing up. “Welcome home, Father. Forgive me my rudeness. I was just surprised to see since you are supposed to be in Milan.”

“I decided to take a little break after all,” Gabriel glanced over at dangerously crimson Marinette paralyzed in her place. “Someone was very convincing that you would appreciate seeing me on Christmas.”

“Really?” Adrien's lips momentarily split into a genuine smile. “You staying for Christmas? That's amazing!”

“Yes,” Gabriel stated calmly and turned around ready to leave. “I just thought you would like to know that, but since I can see that you are busy, I'll take my leave.”

“Father,” Adrien called before the older man could leave. Gabriel turned around and looked questioningly at his son. “Thank you,” the boy smiled. “For coming.”

“I'm glad to see you too, Adrien,” Gabriel shoved his hands into his pockets and turned away again. After a moment, however, he paused and turned around. “Adrien, could you to invite your girlfriend for dinner home next week? I think it's time for us to finally be introduced officially.”

Marinette squeaked for, probably, tenth time that day as Adrien grinned and looked at her.

“Will next week work for you, Mari?”

“Ye-yes-” she quietly whispered back.

“Very well,” concluded Gabriel. “We'll work out the details later. As for now, keep warm, and I'll see you shortly.”

The second the door was closed behind the fashion mogul, Adrien turned to the stunned Marinette and grinned.

“Looks like you’ve got yourself a boyfriend, Puuurincess!”

“I hate you,” the girl pouted and turned away. “You never even asked me.”

Adrien chuckled and swaddled Marinette back into his scarf before kneeling in front of her on a lower step.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” he took her hand in his. “Will you come into my lonely life and make it much brighter and happier by your presence? I promise always to love you and not to demand sweets too often. I can't promise to pun less, and I am sure that you will soon love my sense of humour just as much-”

“It's not about the puns,” she said. “Work on a better timing.”

“Right,” he cleared his throat and continued, “Our differences in opinions aside, will you be my girlfriend, Marinette?”

“I don't know-” Marinette teased, stretching out every word. “I'll need to think about it. Consider all the cons and pros. Evaluate-”

“My Lady,” Adrien playfully threatened. “I will kiss you again even more passionately if you refuse my humble request and this time—" he briefly glanced over her shoulder, “—your parents are peeking from a window on the second floor while my father, Alya and Nino's parents are all looking through the living room windows. Ummmm," he narrowed his eyes. “I think that's Natalie and Gorilla recording us on a cell phone from the kitchen-”

Marinette yelped and quickly turned around. A few curtains wavered back in their place while Sabine and Tom shamelessly waved at her, grinning from ear to ear. Marinette blushed and abruptly stood up.

“We are leaving,” she insisted. “Now.”

“As you wish, my Princess,” Adrien rose up. He quickly picked Marinette up and threw her over his shoulder. The girl yelped with surprise and clutched onto his back tightly while Adrien turned around to face the house. He grinned and waved goodbye to everyone who was hiding behind the curtains before escaping into the garden.

“What are you doing? Put me down, Adrien!” Marinette yelled.

“Don't mind me, my Lady. I'm just collecting my reward for years of patience,” he chuckled and ran faster. Adrien let her down as soon as they were far enough for anyone to see or hear them, and the next hour or so were spent on talking, confessing, making decisions, joking around, rolling eyes at each other, laughing, walking around and simply having the best time of their life. There might have been a few kisses as well but no one dared to pressure the pair for the details when they finally returned to the house.

Alya, as expected, took all the credit for herself. There was no doubt in her mind that years’ worth of scheming had finally paid off and now, thanks to her, Marinette was, at last, the official girlfriend of one and only Adrien Agreste who, to everyone's surprise, had suddenly transformed into a love-sick puppy and couldn’t keep his eyes of Marinette for the rest of the weekend. If it weren't for both of their parents being present, his hands would've been on her too. And maybe his lips as well.

Sitting by the fireplace on the last day of their trip, Adrien dared to cuddle Marinette on a couch after everyone had gone to their rooms. When the time had just slipped past midnight, he buried his nose into the crook of her neck and whispered.

“You were my Secret Santa, Marinette.”

“You can't ask me that question, Adrien, and I can't tell you,” Marinette protested. “That's unfair! The person who did this for you would lose their chance in the competition if you were to find out who he or she is.”

“I'll take you wherever you want, my Lady,” he murmured against her skin. “It will be only tickets and VIP backstage access to Jagged Stone's concert after all. Chloe told me. But I didn't ask you a question, Mari. I know it was you.”

“How?” Marinette asked after a momentary hesitation.

“Because only you are so kind, thoughtful, observant and so loving as to give me the only thing I didn’t have.”

“What do you mean?”

Tightening his embrace, Adrien said, “I am spending Christmas with my friends and their amazing families. My father is spending Christmas with us. And knowing him, I can say that only Ladybug's determination could've gotten through his thick stubbornness. Then, this is the first year since my mom's disappearance that I received so much attention and more than two presents. I've forgotten the time when I felt so loved. I won't even mention all of the delicious food. But most importantly, I am spending this Christmas with my amazing girlfriend. How did you think about all of this, Mari?”

“Well—" She snuggled in, answering. “I did struggle with the ideas on what to give to a handsome, rich boy who already has everything, but then I overheard Nino complaining to Alya that your father would be out of the town for Christmas. Later they told me that since they were dating now, their families decided to join their Christmas trips together. The rest kind of happened from there.”

Gently, Adrien placed a butterfly kiss on Marinette's neck before stirring up. “Oh! One thing I can't understand, though - how did you manage to convince my father not only open up his cottage but also attend himself?”

Marinette giggled, patting his arm. “Let's just say it wasn't easy and I am sure you'll hear about it sooner or later, but it was worth it.” Turning around, Marinette settled so that she could face Adrien. She brushed a few stray hairs from his face and added, “I wanted to give you something special for Christmas because you are very special to me, Adrien.”

Adrien leaned forward whispering against her lips, “You gave me more than something special, Mari. You gave me the best present anyone could ever receive. You gave me home fur Christmas. Thank you, my Lady. Thank you.”

Marinette's eyes fluttered closed as Adrien closed the distance between them, thanking her in a way that she could never have dreamed possible. At least, not so soon but then, who knew what wonderful surprises the future held for them now that the secrets between the two were gone? Marinette smiled against his kiss. She had never looked forward to discovering the future so much as she did now. She hoped that Adrien felt the same way and, by the way he kissed her, there was no doubt in her mind that he was just as eager as her.

Buy Me a Ko-fi

#miraculous ladybug #ml fanfiction #adrienette #identity reveal #fluff #kisses #christmas #secret santa #short #stories

25 notes · View notes

petri808 · 6 years

Text

Zero Degrees of Separation

AU Story, FT Next Gen. Jerza kids. 4300 words. I wrote this story for a school assignment. Pics of the kids are on my side blog @petrischronicles

It is summer break before Identical twins Andesine & Azurite Fernandez will be leaving for college on opposite sides of the country. Their family takes their annual summer vacation to the mountains but both brothers are troubled about breaking their connection.

The breeze coming off the crystalline lake was something Azurite Fernandez always appreciated when they visited the summer cabin. It had that typical rustic quality of earthy scented pine, mixed with warbling birds and chattering squirrels, a beautiful serenity and today was no exception as the warm kiss of mountain sunlight blanketed the family from powder blue skies. He stood there with his eyes closed letting the calming peace and quiet sweep him away for it might be years before he’d be back again. This was perfect, he mused to himself. Someday building a house and raising a family in a place like this appealed to his inner nature.

“Azurite, could you help your sister with her bags?”

He opened his eyes and released the fresh moist air from his lungs, “sure mom,” before turning towards his family’s SUV. Azi clicked his tongue, chuckling as his sister struggled with her oversized suitcase. Grabbing it from her and setting it on the ground he teases, “did you pack your entire room?”

Amethyst huffs, picking up her smaller carry-on and purse from the ground, “not all of us loves this place as much as you do, I needed things to keep me busy.”

“I’m with Amy on this,” their brother Andesine, Azi’s twin, throws his arm over his brother’s shoulder. “I’d much rather be hanging out with Sage and the others, considering most of us are going to different parts of the country in a couple months.”

“Tch,” Azurite crosses his arms, “then I would just as much prefer to spend time with my girlfriend then you.”

“Alright, alright boys,” their father Jellal chides them as he walks past into the house, “it’s family time, not friend time so just deal with it and make your mother happy for a couple of weeks.” With a sigh, Azurite simply grabs his sister’s suitcase and along with his sullen siblings makes their way into the house behind him.

That evening as Andi and Amy hole up in their rooms with their phones or laptops, and their parents enjoy the rest of the night in the den, Azurite ventures out onto the spacious wrap around deck, propping himself atop a railing. With his long legs easily balancing on the beam and his back against one of the pillars, he had chosen the spot because it was a clear vantage point of the nighttime lake. Dark and ominous waters like at any moment some creature could walk out of its depths ready to strike at the unaware and yet, with the shimmering moonlit surface, instead of a creature, maybe a beautiful water goddess come to grant you any wish you desire. A slight uptick around the corners of his mouth are the only indication when a few fond memories begin to flow through.

Such supernatural creatures were common topics when they were little. Nights like this one spent on the shore sleeping under the stars, trading story ideas, or dreams of heroes and villains come to life. Just a lot of imagination packed between the Fernandez twins and the seeming link they shared was evident. One would start a sentence and the other would finish it, an idea for a character would come to mind and the other would simply nod and agree as if they could see it too. Like words never spoken aloud but through the spirit became secrets only they could share driving their sister crazy because it left her out of the loop.

They used to love fishing with their father, sometimes competing with each other on who could catch the biggest fish, campfire smores with their mom who made sure they didn’t burn their hands, and tag teaming scares upon their little sister. On sunny afternoons the boys would swim out to the middle of the lake where a platform had been anchored, jumping off or sun bathing. Hikes with the family in the surrounding forests were a treat to find bugs and other critters or make forts amongst the trees to search for dragons.

It was quite an enjoyable childhood, but like many kids, as they got older, and their individual personalities developed, different interests and friendships pulled them in separate directions. They were still brothers that got along for the most part, but no longer peas in the same pod. Azurite closes his eyes, ‘and the distance is only gonna grow wider when we leave for college.’ It wasn’t that he wanted to be separated from his brother or family, but when one receives a full-ride scholarship to M.I.T, they’d be a fool to decline. Unfortunately, that meant he’d be attending school in Massachusetts clear across the country from Santa Barbara where Andesine had opted to go.

“Will you cheer up Az?” the warm hand of his brothers upon his shoulder, rouses Azurite from his reflections only to look over and see the smug smirk of his twin staring back. Andesine taps his temple, “is the distance really bothering you that much, cause ya know eventually we had to cut the cord.”

“I wasn’t thinking…” Again, Andi taps the side of his head and cocks an eyebrow. “Okay, sure, maybe I was but that wasn’t the only thing.”

“A…” searching his pockets, he pulls out the only thing he had and holds it up with a goofy grin, “piece of gum for your thoughts?”

Even Azurite had to laugh at the silly antics of his twin, “It’s nothing,” waving his hand, “maybe I’m just nervous about being so far away from everyone. I mean, aren’t you?”

“Mmm,” Andi tips his head, “not really, kinda excited to see all them California girls!” singing out part of the Katie Perry song.

Azurite rolls his eyes, “You are so bad!”

“And you are too good!” Andi retorts and laughs out loud, “I feel like I need to balance out this dynamic duo!” Azurite tries to hide the amusement but fails miserably since his brother can read him. “Come on… grumpy gus,” he playfully punches Azi’s arm, “just get some sleep and maybe you’ll feel better.”

After his bother moves out of the way, Azi slides off the railing and stretches out his stiffened back. “Mom guys crash yet?”

Andesine nods, “fell asleep on the couch. I think Amy too, cause her light was off.” He pulls out his phone, “I don’t think you realize but you’ve been out here for several hours, see,” showing his brother the time, “it’s almost 2 am.”

Azi frowns, “I didn’t. But why are you still awake?”

“I wasn’t, just woke up when I felt something bothering you.”

“Sorry.”

“‘so’kay man, I’ll see ya upstairs.”

“Be there in a minute.” Azurite watches his brother walk back into the house and takes one more look at the lake...

To the outside world, Andesine Fernandez was the quintessential jokester who never took life seriously. He did decently in school, had his own aspirations, tons of friends, and fashioned himself a lady’s man, though this last notion might be more in his head than reality. But just because he lived in the realm of humor, wasn’t to say he didn’t care or pay attention, he simply preferred to live by the YOLO ‘You Only Live Once’ motto. This stark contrast in personality from his more reticent and bookish twin, was along with their different colored hair, the most noticeable distinctions.

A few nights later, the family sits around a small campfire in front of the house, relaxing after a long day of hiking around the forest and lake. Amy and their mother Erza chatter about a Korean drama they both watch, and Andi is only half listening to Azurite and their dad discuss the latest MMA fight in the UFC. Maybe Azi had a point about the distance, it wasn’t something he’d really thought about until now, probably because, well, ‘I didn’t want to, I mean, it’s only a physical thing!’ But as the dancing flames of the fire crackle and send wisps of burning embers floating into the air, Andesine’s thoughts go with them. His eyes dilate, focusing on the red-orange glow, mesmerized and sending his mind into a distant timeframe.

‘Don’t even think about it, Andi,’ his brother blocks him, ‘mom already gave you a Hershey.’

‘Ugh! It’s so irritating that you know what I’m thinking! When we get older, I hope this stupid twin thing stops too!’

‘I don’t really like it either, cause dealing with you is frustrating.’

But their mother had stepped into the argument, chiding her sons, ‘there will come a day when you’ll regret saying that stuff.’ Pulling them into a hug on each side of her body, ‘that special bond means you’ll always have each other to fall back on, even when you’re far apart.’

‘Why would be far apart?’ Azurite asked their mom.

‘Well…’ squeezing them tighter, ‘one day you’ll grow up, go to college, meet a girl, maybe settle down and have a family. As much as I’ll miss my boys, I want you to be happy and independent in the future.’

‘Sounds good to me,’ Andi shrugged, ‘I can’t wait to grow up!’

She chuckled, ‘don’t worry, before you know it, you will be…’

Andesine’s brows furrow at the memory, sometimes he hated to admit when their mother was right, but damn was she ever. A night exactly like this one, settled around a campfire, eating smores, except now they were all ten years older. Amy only two years away from graduating high school and the boysabout to start their adult lives. Was he really ready for it like he had bragged about? Did he want to admit that he’ll miss his twin? He snaps out of the reflection, looking around to see if anyone had noticed it, but everyone was still engrossed in their conversations.

He stands up, dusts off his pants and kisses his mother goodnight. “Are you okay?” she asks.

“Just tired, think I’ll shower and head to bed.”

“Alright, good night sweetie.”

“Night mom.”

He knew from experience that the best thing to do was let his brother process whatever was bothering him in his own way, so Azurite pretended not to pay attention while Andi zoned out or even when he said he was tired. But as he watched his twin trudge into the house, he had to wonder what it was about. A smug tugging on his lips, could Andi be just as nervous as he was about the whole separation? Now that would be an interesting flip.

Andesine tossed and turned.

“Noooo!!!” he screamed as he raced towards his brother on legs that suddenly seemed uncooperative, reaching out and stumbling along the asphalt. The scene blurred through a tunneled vision while the sounds of screeching tires echoed in his ears. But no matter how fast he ran, the distance remained the same.

His brother’s head turns seconds before the impact, a tear trailing down one cheek, “I’m… sorry Andi…”

“Azzziiiiiii!!!!!”

Andesine pops up in his bed screaming out of the dream and frantically looking at the other side of the bedroom for Azurites bed. “What the fuck?” Because there was no bed, only an empty space where it should be. He throws off the blankets and hops off his, wildly circling the barren floorboards. “What the hell is going on! Where is Azurite?!”

The door swings open and his parents rush in, “Andi, what’s wrong,” Erza asks, “what are you yelling about?” As Jellal grabs his son’s shoulders to stop his hysterical flailing, “did you have a bad dream?”

“Where’s my brother Azurite? Why is his bed gone?” The poor young man is on the verge of tears.

“Azurite?” Erza questions, looking to her husband with concern, “but honey, you don’t have a brother.”

“What!! Of course, I do, he’s my identical twin!”

“Son, you need to calm down,” prompting the young man towards his bed and sitting him down, “there’s only you and your sister, remember?”

“No, this doesn’t make any sense,” Andi shakes his head, “it felt so real, He felt so real! W-we were so close, we could feel each other, read each other’s thoughts, I—I…” cradling his head in his hands, “but our…”

“Sweetheart it was just a dream,” Erza kneels in front of him, “we promise you, you’ve never had a brother…”

“No!” he pushes them away and scrambles to get out of the room. This was all wrong! Why were they lying to him? There was no way he’d just make up a brother! Andi bolts down the hallway, stumbling a few times in an effort to reach the front door while the walls seemed to sway and fold inwards on him. He had to get out there now!

As he turns the knob and flings the front door open, a blinding light stops him in his tracks.

His eyes snap open and he sits up in bed. ‘What the…’ turning, Andesine looks to his left and notices his brother still asleep in their darkened room. He checks the alarm clock, 3:30am, it was all just a nightmare? With a groan, he drops on to his back, ‘it was all just a friggen nightmare!’

The following morning, Andesine is still a bit unnerved from the dream. It was the first time he’s ever had one so disturbing involving his brother and he couldn’t fathom what it was supposed to mean. Was it a premonition that his brother would die from a car accident? He’d never had one of those before, or more than likely a subconscious reaction to the whole idea of separation and distance. No matter what it all meant, if he didn’t get a handle on these emotions, the rest of this trip would be a miserable one.

Andi finds his parents in the kitchen cleaning up after breakfast, “Is it okay if I take a hike to the bluffs?”

“I don’t see why not,” Jellal puts another dish in the rack before turning to address his son, “is Azurite going with you?”

“Nah, I kinda wanted to go alone.”

Erza frowns, “That’s not really safe honey…” but when he gives her a sad, puppy expression she sighs, “just make sure you take your phone with you.”

“Thanks mom!” he hugs her then his dad and takes off out the door with a small back pack of water and of course his cell phone.

He waves at his sister and brother who were lounging on patio chairs and heads north of their rental towards the trail leading up to a mountain peak he enjoyed. Andi takes a deep breath, ‘Im’ma sort out whatever the hell it is that’s bugging me!’ pumping a fist into the air with a grin, ‘It’s time to go zen!’

The trail itself was moderately rated, mostly because of the final leg up a steep incline to the bluff, but it was completely worth the effort. Twenty-five minutes later, as he broke through the tree line and made his way up the final ascent, Andi knew he had made the right decision to come here. There were a few fluffy white clouds passing by and the heat was mildly tolerable due to the higher elevation. The ground was thankfully dry since it hadn’t rained for at least a couple of weeks and the bugs seemed to be taking a day off, so he finds a flat-topped rock and sits down ready to get this load off his mind.

Why was all of this bothering him so much now when it hadn’t even crossed his mind before this trip? Sure, he had realized that picking a college thousands of miles across the country would probably make his parents sad, but it never donned on him that it would upset his brother, or himself. They would be in different states not different countries and thanks to today’s technology, distance wasn’t such a burden anymore. Andi had friends all over the world on social media, and he was excited to finally meet a few of them when he got to California. Besides, it’s not like he was the only one, Azurite chose a college away from their home state, granted it was because of the scholarship, but still, it was a choice that he made.

Andi closes his eyes and tilts his head back knowing he was skirting around the real issue that none of this had to do with a normal leaving the nest syndrome. He exhales, both brothers were quite ready and capable to venture out on their own because their parents had done a phenomenal job of making sure they would be. No, this all came down to their twin connection. Will it feel weird when they are so far apart from each other? Will there be some strange feeling like a part of him was missing? It was this uneasiness that was at the heart of it all.

‘I’m sure we’ll be fine,’ he finally concludes, ‘nothing to worry about. I bet we’ll be too busy with college and everything to even worry.’ He was sure that he’d simply let his subconscious and imagination run a little too amok this time and it was time to reign it back in.

“Yosh!” he stands up, stretching out in a full, arms above his head motion, twisting his midsection and legs. “Bout time for lunch anyways!”

In a better mood now, Andi slings his backpack over one shoulder, shoves in his earbuds and cranks up his music, starting the trek down the steep zig-zag trail of loose stones and dry pine needle covered dirt. Dense foliage made a few portions along the path harder to make out and unfortunately one of those spots was a narrow, stepped ledge, carved by the elements into a natural staircase. Andi slowed down because he knew going down was the most dangerous part.

Suddenly, the flapping of wings and a stirring of feathers from a startled pheasant takes Andi by surprise just as he is about to set foot on the next step. The bird scuttles off into the forest, its squawking mixing with his scream as he slips, hands flying up, bag along with his legs going airborne like in a slow-motion scene. His brother’s name is the last thought in his mind as his back hits the ground and head bounces-off the stony surface knocking him out cold…

Down at the lake, the family is relaxing near the water’s edge with Amy and Erza sunbathing on the shore. Azurite and Jellal dangle their legs off the short pier fishing for dinner while discussing last minute things the young man needs to secure before he leaves for college. All in all, a relaxing sight despite the glaring midday sun. But just as Azi casts his line again, a cold breeze sweeps through, normally welcomed on such a heated day, but for him, the chill it shoots up his spine catches him off-guard and if he didn’t know better, his name had been funneled along with the wind.

The fishing pole he holds clatters to the ground as Azurite shoots to his feet, “Something’s wrong with Andi!”

Jellal looks up bewildered, but knows not to question it, “we’d better go then!”

The two men race up the forest trail while Amy and Erza wait at the house ready to call emergency if necessary. They had no idea what they would encounter but if Azurite was right, and Andi was too injured to have used his cell phone to call for help, they needed to be on standby. Azurite tore up the path like a man both panicked yet guided straight to where he just knew his brother would be and his father simply following, trusting his son’s instincts. It took them 15 agonizing minutes to reach the spot.

“Andi!” Azurite clambers up the steep grade, crawling the last couple of feet to where his brother lay prone. Panic sweeps over his whole being, “Aw, Fuck dad there’s blood coming from his head! Andi!” he’s about to reach out and pull his brother up but Jellal grabs his shoulder.

“Don’t move him yet, we don’t know how badly injured he is. Check his pulse and breathing while I call your mom… and see if you can wake him up but gently.”

With his father on the phone telling their mother to call 911 and giving them directions to where they were, Azurite is using every ounce of willpower he has not to cradle his brother’s limp body in his arms. He couldn’t believe this was happening, Andi was usually so careful whenever he went hiking but as he scans the area and notices a few stray feathers and his brothers bag lying above and off to the side, he could surmise what had happened in those last seconds. But all that didn’t matter, whether or not Andi had been spooked or simply slipped, what was important was getting him medical attention as quickly as possible.

Azurite pats his brother’s cheek, “Andi wake up! Please,” tapping it a few more times, “wake up Andi!” Moisture pools and clouds his vision, tears leaking down his face in salty rivers. “Damn it, Andi wake up!”

After ending his call, Jellal slowly lifts his sons head to check the injury and see’s that despite the blood, the wound doesn’t look very deep. He pulls off his shirt, folds it, and tucks it under to cushion Andi’s head. “Emergency services are on their way so, all we can do is wait. I’m going to head back down to meet them at the beginning of the trail, will you be alright here?” The young man manages a short nod. Jellal puts his hand on Azi’s shoulder, “It’s going to be okay son,” and with a second half nod, the man starts his descent.

Left alone, Azurite retrieves his brother’s bag, so it didn’t get left behind, sitting back down and checking his brother’s vitals every couple of minutes. It was so frustrating not being able to do anything more, but his dad and their Eagle Scout training were clear on this, Andi was best left for the professionals to handle. He hangs his head and while his tears had slowed, they were still like droplets of rain along a window pane, dribbling down in irregular waves.

“I swear you really are an idiot Andi, you know how dangerous it is to hike alone! I don’t know what it was that was bothering you, but it better be a damn good reason for scaring me half to death! Do you know how it feels, every time you do these foolish things and I have to worry about you…” Azi lets out a long exhale, “But maybe you’ll get it now? I hope you’ll see why I was so worried about the distance, I mean if something happened to you and we’re miles apart, I can’t come running like I did today.” He lays down on his side next to his brother, just like they would as little kids when they were scared during a storm and takes hold of his brother’s hand, so limp and lifeless, bringing it to his chest. “It feels like… like a sinking weight on my heart…”

“Could you be…” Andi’s voice is groggy and muffled, “anymore… melodramatic…” He squeezes Azi’s hand back, “I ain’t dead yet.”

“I ought’a knock you back out for that!” Azi half snorts half laughs, for as frustrated with his brother as he was, it felt amazing to hear Andi’s voice again.

“I love you too bro,” he finally opens his eyes, half lidded because of the pain. “And to answer your question, I do know how it feels.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had the most screwed up dream last night, that’s why I came out here to think… I dreamt that I suddenly woke up and you weren’t there, mom and dad told me I had dreamt you up. It hurt so bad like something had been ripped out of me…” Azi looks up when he hears the sounds of footsteps approaching but is drawn back as he brother keeps talking. “I do worry too but today I realized that it’s going to be okay.” He squeezes his brother’s hand again and closes his eyes, grimacing through the pain, “we’ll always be brothers, and even if we’re far apart nothing will ever change the bonds we share.”

“Just promise me you won’t do anything crazy out in California, because if I have to fly there, I really will kick your ass.”

Andi tries to chuckle but gives up when another wave of throbbing pain rushes over him, “you could try...”

On the final night of the family vacation, Amy and their parents lounged on the porch playing a board game while the two brothers settled on a log beside the lake shore. Andesine’s head was still wrapped with gauze to protect the stitches he received, and Azurite was teasing him. “Remember,” Azi turns his gaze over to the lake, “When a full moon casts its luminous glow beckoning to any fools that dared to breach its darkened waters…”

“… a creature may arise to strike you down, or maybe a beautiful goddess will appear to grant you your desires. Forgive me but I don’t think I qualify as a goddess.”

“You’re right, you’re more like a creature from the abyss.”

A companionable silence falls between them, each lost momentarily as the placid nighttime waters soothes their psyches. Azurite exhales and holds up his arm in a 90-degree position, Andesine sighs, grabs his brother’s hand, squeezing and nodding his head for their zero degrees of separation. This trip had been long and fruitful and now they were finally ready to move into the next phase of their lives, together.

#ft next gen #fairy tail #jerza kids #petri808 #petrischronicles #au story modern day #andesine fernandez #azurite fernandez #amethyst fernandez #Erza scarlet #jellal fernandes #zero degrees of separation

3 notes · View notes