#and I dont want to fuckign sleep even though i really need to and I spend every fucking seconf of every fucking day being sleepy
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I can tell i am now experienceing actual real sleep deprivation and not just the omnipresent idiopathic hypersomnia fake sleepiness that my stupid lying body never shuts up about. I can tell because I am fallijng asleep in class regardless if I take my medication and I feel like everything is so, incredibly stupid and horrible, and everyone giving me homework or telling me to do anything is attacking me. And I can;t hold a conversation. And people are noticing my strange manner and pointing out that I seem wrong. And yet here we are AGAIN I have AGAIN stayed up late AND not gotten any work done. And on top of that I broke my fucking glasses tonight because I left them sitting on my fucking bed. And I'm freaking my parents out by crying over the phone and also I think I actually injured my shoulder last week its been hurting for four days now. and I'm so sad and mad at myself for not sleeping and not working but I can't work because I havent slept and I cant sleep because I havent worked. And every single time I get in a bad time like this my dad worries im going to die because i was suicidal for like a week in 2019 and then he gets mad at me for worrying him and I feel so so so guilty. Im so so sad.
#and I dont want to fuckign sleep even though i really need to and I spend every fucking seconf of every fucking day being sleepy#because even when I get enough sleep im still FUCKING sleepy so what is the FUCKING point. Why not just NOT FUCKING SLEEP.#Im so fucking sick of myself and my body and my pain and my stupidity.#AND ITS SO STUPID BECAUSE HERE I AM MISSING ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS SCARING MY FAMILY WEIRDING OUT OTHER STUDENTS AND MAKING MY PROFS HATE ME#BECAUSE IM FUCKING SLEEPY. stupidest fucking sounding reason on earth to have a fucking crisis.#no one ever hears me say im sleepy and thinks oh thats really serious i really want to help you now its literally just annoying to ppl#haha wait til you have kids or get older or a full time job ha ha#cool I am fuckign terrified of the future because I know how mad everyone gets at me when im too disabled to do what im supposed to#and I know its going to get to a point where I can't and there will probably be no one left to help me. I'm almost certainly going to outli#outlive my parents and my sister and even if i ever get married ill probably also get divorced so I'll be all alone#friendships aren't safe becuase you can love someone so much for 5 years and she just tells you one day she doesn't want to be burdened#by you anymore and you never hear from her again#its a dark scary fucking world and you want me to be passionate about a field of study or something?? jesus christ can you all just fuck of#I dont want to go to grad school i dont want to work i dont want to live alone i dont want to live with my parents forever#my head hurts so much goodnight guys sorry for ranting its literally fine im literally just really sleepy sorry for being melodramatic
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Remember the Rain
praying this is the final part of “Sunrise, Sunset” by the time i’m done omg ,, lamar finally talks it out with frank. i was tryna keep the titles consistent with a sky theme? wasn’t sure what to name this one at first, but i settled on naming it after a i song that i felt was sorta fitting lol ,, also lamar’s dramatic when drunk, that’s jus how it’s gonna be
oh and i included one last convo w/ that psychic lady bc each character got three opportunities to speak to her lol
//
The night Franklin and him fought was the third night in a row Lamar couldn’t sleep right. Then it became four. Then five. Six. He had hoped after the first couple days of Franklin being mad, that it’d all blow over and things would go back to normal. That he wouldn’t ever have to say anything about what he felt deep down. Even though he told himself he had to, he wouldn’t. He waited it out, and still hoped it would all just fucking blow over. That wasn’t what happened of course.
An overcast sky was spread over LS, light rain tapping against Lamar’s window. As cheesy as it was, it reflected how he felt. Another day had passed. Franklin wasn’t picking up, not even reading his texts, nothing. He called a couple times at first when the fourth day of the silent treatment occurred, then tried a few more times to contact him in the following days. It had grown into a long and sad string of texts.
franklin.
dog
plz
pick up
answer me
plz?
c’mon frank i told you i have nothin goin on with yo auntie
i wanna talk things out with you.
u ain’t let me finish explaining
text me when u read this. plz bro
He sighed. This was hopeless. He set his phone aside, still laying awake. A buzz came right after. Fucking finally, something.
fuck you
we got nothin to discuss
He didn’t know how to feel. This was fucking him up and he couldn’t think straight. He tried calling him once more, the ringing as he waited for a pick up mocking him. Voicemail yet again. How many messages had he tried leaving at this point?
for fucks sake frank pick up
u ain’t doin this to me rn
jus let me explain myself
He stared at the ceiling yet again, like it would have all the answers sprawled out for him. As he did, he focused on how the rain had picked up, coming down harder. Then he felt his phone buzz.
no
now stop blowing my phone up
i’m tryna sleep
Lamar was never one to be sensitive, but he felt so crushed right now that all he could do was cry silently to himself. He didn’t even have Chop around anymore to comfort him like he normally would whenever Lamar was going through something. Would he even see him again? He lived over at Frank’s now. Fuck. Did this mean they’d have to share custody now? If he wasn’t so upset, he most likely would’ve laughed at the idea of it. He was letting bad thoughts consume him, turning to a last minute resort of drinking to try stopping it. This kind of thing rarely happened to him, these kind of feelings weren’t common. He knew no other method of trying to stuff bad feelings down, working through a 6 pack of beer on his own, followed by a bottle of some type of random liquor. Anything to stifle the pain in his chest, although it didn’t accomplish much other than making him feel even more queasy. He left one last voicemail, choking back a sob. Or what he had thought would be the last one. He lost count.
“Franklin. Please jus’ talk to me already man. You- you believin’ what you wanna believe right now, you ain’t even givin’ me a chance. You my best fuckin’ friend, don’t that mean shit to you anymore? We.. homies n shit.” He sniffled, cringing to himself when he said the words “best friend”. Franklin was so much more than that to him.
“Ion… Ion think I can live without you in my life. You can’t hate me man that shit.. that’s fucked. This is fucked. I’m fucked.”
A strong feeling of humiliation hung around him for many reasons, one being that he was fully crying now, over the phone. He couldn’t get any lower.
“You jus’ mad right now. But you.. you won’t be, eventually. Right? Please get back to me soon. Please. I’d rather fuckin’.. die or sum’ than have you hatin’ me n shit. At this point I might as well.”
After hanging up, he decided to visit that site one last time. His tears blurred his vision, making it harder to type. The shit in his system didn’t help either.
lady
i fuckef up
thsi is yo faukt
What now? Why are you back?
frankljn hates me
He does? That’s not right.
damn straighy it fuckign isnt
No, I mean that’s not correct.
There’s no way that he could, even if it seems like it right now.
jus fuckin tell me whst to do
That’s out of my hands.
is not u fuckin wirch
*withc
*witch
Look, I really don’t know how else to help you. I don’t have any other visions to offer. You’re on your own.
They do say though, that dreams are visions themselves.
dont fukcin speak in riddles rn
Precognition, Lamar. Just have faith
prewhatnow
n yeah. faith. bc that helps so fuckn much
All I can say to you is good luck - it’s all coming together. Just wait.
th fuck does that mean?
It means that you’re stressing too much - you better sleep it off. Farewell Lamar. You’re gonna have a killer hangover you know…
SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.
The notification did nothing but make him more upset. He calmed down eventually, the crying and alcohol tiring him out. He blacked out soon after, not remembering when he fell asleep.
For the first time in a while, he dreamt about the two of them. The start of the dream showed a radiant sight before them, the sky lit up in a million shades. Chop was laying beside Franklin, head on his thigh. All three of them sat on a grassy knoll, a soft breeze blowing through each blade. Franklin turned, Lamar not taking his eyes off him since the dream started. He only noticed the sky’s wide color palette because the intensity struck Franklin’s face just right. He looked right into Lamar’s eyes, speaking softly.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“What?”
“You had so many opportunities. So many times, I thought that you would. I got my hopes up, you know. I waited. When Tanisha left.. I only had you.”
“Tanisha..”
“I still love her. I.. I think apart of me always will, but I love you just the same. Even if you drive me up a Goddamn wall sometimes. You both mean the world to me.”
Franklin looked back at the view ahead. A heavenly indigo replaced the vivid hues from before.
“But she’s gone now. Shit ain’t the same. All I know is you stayed when she didn’t. Even when she got pulled outta the hood and made some kinda new life for herself, you never left my side. Never changed yo loyalties.”
He turned back to face Lamar again. His eyes were glassy, the glow of the midnight sky reflecting in them.
“So why didn’t you say somethin’ sooner?”
“Franklin.. I ain’t deduce that shit ‘til now.“
“You really didn’t know?”
Even in the dream he could feel that previous frustration occur in his mind. Was he hiding in a glass closet or something? He could only let out a wry laugh.
“Yeah man. I was a fuckin’ fool, jus’ like you always said.”
“Damn straight.” He chuckled, and Lamar came to the conclusion that he could listen to that laugh forever. Franklin’s face then fell solemn.
“Y’know I really thought that.. I really thought that you jus’ got with someone else. Not even jus’ my Aunt. I saw how you wanted to get away from me, and I thought…” He stopped himself, petting Chop’s head.
“I.. wanted to be happy if you was, but the thought of that at all bothered me.”
“Why?”
“Cuz you were all I had, dog. Mike n Trevor, they have their own lives, their own history n shit. I can’t always rely on them. Denise don’t give a fuck what happen to me. You my lifeline dog, I’ve known you for years. I didn’t want you to forget me over a chick or sum’. That day you acted all different n shit, it worried me.”
“Hey man, y’know I ain’t ever gon pull that shit on you. I’m with you for life.”
“Then don’t pull other kinda stupid shit on me.”
“Whatchu mean?”
“You can’t ever die on me bro. That ain’t how this shit works.”
“Ay man, I don’t plan on dying jus’ yet. Not unless yo ass by my side. Not ‘til I tell you I…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.
Franklin got closer to his face, cupping his cheek. His eyes shone as the stars around them fell from the sky, akin to raindrops, hitting them. Everything about him was flooding Lamar’s senses, and it felt surreal, between his aroma and all the other things he loved about Franklin. Golden flecks covered them both, and the stars continued to crash down. The sky was growing darker than before.
“Just say the words Lamar. Say them and this shit’ll be over.”
“How?”
“Well first you need to wake yo ass up.”
“Huh?”
“I said wake up, fool!”
Lamar’s blissful dream had been interrupted by an unknown figure shaking him, literal raindrops hitting his face. He was still bleary eyed, only seeing a vague silhouette in front of him. A wet slap to the face rattled his brain around, the hangover settling in. Shit, was he still drunk? What time was it?
“Lamar! Get up!”
“Oh.. Th’fuck? Who- who that is?” He grunted out.
“It’s me you fuckin’ clown!”
“Frank?”
“Who the fuck else?”
“Why are you-”
He was abruptly yanked out of bed, thudding to the floor with a small “oof”.
“Get up you punk bitch!”
“Franklin what the fuck-”
He was grabbed again, tossed back onto his bed. Franklin straddled him, shaking Lamar by the collar.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He said, Lamar getting another slap to the face.
“What in the fresh fuck is you talkin’-” Another slap.
“15 fuckin’ missed phone calls! 15! Are you fuckin’ nuts?!”
Lamar’s eyes practically popped out of his head. 15? What the fuck did he say to him?
“I did what-”
Franklin shook him even harder by his shirt, stretching the material out. He was straining his voice now.
“You had me worried like fuckin’ crazy! I thought you was in some sorta fuckin’ trouble again! You blew my phone up when I told yo ass not to, and then didn’t fuckin’ pick up after I heard the first couple special messages you left me!”
Oh God. This was it. He told Franklin everything, didn’t he? The color drained from his face.
“Oh fuck me..” He mumbled, putting a hand over his eyes.
“What?!” Franklin yelled, shaking him again. Lamar’s head was pounding.
“Franklin.. what.. what I say on there? I barely remember a thing, let alone callin’ yo ass.”
“You seriously don’t fuckin’ remember?!”
“Yeah. Seriously, man.”
Franklin slid off of him, putting a palm to his face. He breathed through his nose hard, trying to calm down. Lamar realized he was drenched from the small downpour outside. Pellets of rain thumped against the window as a reminder that the storm never went away.
“You.. fuck, man. You started sayin’ all this shit about how bad a fuckin’ friend you was. That you, you was hidin’ all this shit and couldn’t live another day without tellin’ me.”
Okay. Good. He didn’t tell him the truth.
“You told me you wanted to die dog. Didn’t realize yo dumbass was safe n sound asleep in yo fuckin’ bed.”
“Oh.”
“…’Oh’? Is that really all you have to say?!”
“F, I was jus’ drunk. It was dumb of me, I know, but I.. It’s nothing, okay?”
“Don’t do this shit to me man! I’ve already dealt with enough of yo fuckin’ schemes n shit-”
“Frank.”
“It’s 3 am! You had Chop barkin’ his Goddamn head off the whole night!”
“Franklin.”
“Then I race my ass over here to find yo drunkass self passed out in bed-”
“Franklin.”
“What! What?! You finally gonna put yo two cents in for once?”
“Stop yelling. My head hurts like a bitch right now.”
“Good! I’m fuckin’ glad because I know mine does as well you fuckin’ asshole!”
Lamar looked pathetically up at him. This was getting out of hand. He let it go on for too long.
“Why did you come here then?” He croaked.
“Because you were fuckin’ sobbin’ into the phone! All I heard was you cryin’ like mad fuckin’ crazy and it scared me. You don’t ever do that shit, not even when you fucked up.”
“How much I say?”
“I got the first message pretty fuckin’ clear, the rest was jus’ incoherent bullshit. I barely got through the second one before speedin’ on over. You sounded hurt n shit, I thought something happened. I thought you was a goner.”
“No weird shit though right? I ain’t say nothin’ bad?”
“What? Lamar, what the fuck are you on about? I just told you what yo ass cried out to me! I couldn’t even understand any of the other messages!”
“Okay, okay. That’s.. good I guess.”
“That’s good? Fuckin’ hell, why did I come here? You- ugh!”
“Franklin. Can you jus’ sit down before you pop a fuckin’ blood vessel? You stressin’ for nothin’.”
If anything, Lamar should be the one stressing right now. He had been so close to confessing without knowing. Franklin sat next to him, arms crossed.
“Franklin.”
“What.”
“I’m sorry that I scared you. I didn’t mean to.”
“Well good fuckin’ job, you accomplished that real well didn’t you.” He said, sarcastically applauding him.
“I thought you were cutting me off for good homie. You think I was gon’ let that happen?”
“Lamar, that still ain’t a good reason to freak me out like that in the middle of the night.”
“It’s only cuz you hadn’t been listenin’ to me bro. I’ve been wanting to tell you somethin’ so badly lately and I never.. got the chance.”
“Then do pray fuckin’ tell LD, what the fuck is so important that you had to do this shit to me at 3 AM!”
“Franklin man, c’mon-”
“No! Don’t start!”
Franklin stood, heading for the door as he spoke. He stopped in the threshold.
“Tell me what the fuck is goin’ on with you, or I’m leavin’ yo sad ass here to wallow. I mean it L.”
“Don’t be like that. Please man. I want to, but I-”
“Jus’ fuckin’ tell me! Why won’t you tell me?!”
“Frank-”
“I dragged my ass all the way over here for nothin’ didn’t I? You ain’t dead, you ain’t sayin’ shit, you jus’ bein’ so- ugh! Fuck!” He threw his hands up, exiting Lamar’s bedroom.
“I’m done man, fuck this.”
“Franklin wait- don’t go-” He pleaded.
Franklin did nothing but leave him stranded again, thunder rolling far in the distance. Lamar ran after him as he walked out the door, hearing the rain heavily hit the pavement. His mind was racing far ahead of him. Franklin was leaving, he was leaving for good, and he couldn’t. He can’t. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Franklin can’t do that, he can’t-
His mind had gone so far away, that he didn’t even realize that he had tackled Franklin to the ground. The two of them fell to the ground with a loud splat, followed by sounds of pain.
“Lamar what the fuck?!”
“Don’t go! Fuckin’ hell, I gotta chase yo ass and for what?!”
“Get off me dog!”
“No!” Franklin was pinned beneath him. The raindrops that rolled off of Lamar hit him in the face.
It reminded Lamar of when they were younger, playing football or whatever sport they could outside even as the deluge soaked them both to the bone. The roles had been reversed, with Franklin constantly knocking him down onto the grassy sludge. They got quite an earful from Lamar’s mom as they tracked mud in the house upon returning. It was a memory amongst many that stuck with him like glue. Those memories couldn’t go away. Franklin couldn’t go away.
Tears mixed in with the rain as he yelled out to him.
“You fuckin’ idiot! Why you makin’ this shit so hard for me?! You keep leavin’ before I can even finish!”
Franklin struggled to break free from Lamar’s grip on his wrists, huffing as he looked away.
“Look at me!” Lamar shouted, grabbing his face with a free hand.
“I didn’t wanna fuckin’ tell you like this, but Jesus Christ! For fucks sake you stubborn asshole-”
He was doing it. He bit the fucking bullet.
“You know how we got into that fuckin’ argument last week? When I told you that I was dealin’ with that whole love thing, I wasn’t talkin’ about yo Aunt, a hoe, nobody else! I was talkin’ about you!”
Lamar threw himself off of him, stumbling backwards. Franklin propped himself onto his elbows. He finally said it. He said it, and he was far from finished.
“But you didn’t wanna fuckin’ listen! And now I’ve fucked our friendship over for a second time! All because of you! This whole thing has been drivin’ me fuckin’ insane lately, and I couldn’t do shit about it! I tried so, so hard to avoid this, but nothin’ ever goes my way, huh?! Every time I think a plan of mine’ll work, it doesn’t! You know why?!”
Opening his arms wide, he spoke loud and clear, finishing his rant.
“Lemme remind you: I’m Lamar fuckin’ Davis! The biggest fuckin’ fool, fuckin’ clown, fuckin’ whatever you wanna call me! Lamar Davis, the most naïve bitch on the planet! Fuck me for thinking that this would ever go well!”
Now it was his turn to leave. But he didn’t go back into his house. His legs moved for him, walking in no particular direction. He just needed to get away from Franklin, not caring about how damp his clothes were now. He was shaking, and he didn’t know if it was from the rain or the range of emotions he was flying through.
He could hear a pair of sneakers squishing behind him. Franklin was running, and he was catching up fast.
“Ay Lamar! Get back here!”
Oh fuck. He was chasing after him now. That’s not good. Lamar started running himself, not caring about possibly slipping and falling on his ass. Only a few hours ago, he had told himself he couldn’t be without Franklin. Now all he wanted to do was run away.
“Lamar!”
Fuck fuck fuck.
He wasn’t fast enough. The second time they hit the ground, Lamar had the wind knocked right out of him, the duo splashing right into a puddle. Hands gripped his shoulders, flipping him around.
“Lamar!”
There were only a few instances in his life where Lamar felt small. He’d always been big in character, big in height, and according to him, big in other ways. But this was one of those moments where he couldn’t help but flinch, wanting to collapse in on himself. He was so tired.
“If you gon’ beat my ass or somethin’ jus’ get it over with.” He sighed, shutting his eyes tight.
When he felt nothing but raindrops touch his face, he opened his eyes slowly. His heart sank when he did. Franklin was visibly upset, guilt in his eyes.
“Lamar. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
A wave of déjà vu washed over him. Oh. So that’s what precognition meant. Motherfucking psychic lady.
“You should’ve jus’ told me man.”
“I tried dog. You wouldn’t hear me out.”
“Cuz I.. I thought you got with someone. I didn’t wanna hear it straight from yo mouth if you was.”
He shifted up, Frank sitting in his lap.
“Y’know I always thought that.. Part of me jus’ kinda thought that it’d always be the two of us. I’m never gonna get Tanisha back.. but you..”
Franklin looked away.
“You a crazy ass loyal motherfucker man. You stuck by my side no matter what, and some dumbass part of me was convinced that you… I mean fuck, so many times I thought you would jus’ flat out say something. Somethin’ so I could stop waiting for the one other person I had known forever to just say that they fuckin’ loved me like that.”
Lamar blinked, rainwater getting into his eyes. It wasn’t quite as serene as his dream had been, nor was it verbatim, but Lamar didn’t care. There was something about the way the water droplets sat along Franklin’s face, highlighted by a streetlight behind him that made him look angelic.
“When you started actin’ all weird it jus’.. made me so fuckin’ mad man. I thought you was gon’ pick someone else over me. Jus’ like Tanisha did.”
“Franklin..”
“So why didn’t you jus’ say somethin’ sooner? I waited. Hell, I don’t even know why I did at first.”
“Franklin.”
“But now I’m realizin’ you must not have even noticed yoself what you was feelin’, when I fuckin’ did. I noticed and you didn’t and-”
Lamar grabbed him by the face, grip surprisingly strong after being in the rain.
“How many times do I gotta say yo name for you to hear me?”
The rain kept falling, never slowing for either one of them. Yet, it felt like time stopped. Lamar chuckled lightly.
“Franklin Clinton and Lamar Davis. Two of the dumbest motherfuckers in LS. Homies for life.”
“Yeah. Homies for life.”
His hands never left Franklin’s face. He pressed their foreheads together, lowering his voice.
“I love you, bum ass bitch.”
“Yeah yeah. I love you too.”
He kissed the top of his head, moving his hands down to embrace him in a tight hug. When was the last time they did this? As he thought it over, he could hear Franklin’s voice muffled against his chest.
“Don’t scare me like that again. Next time save us both the trouble n jus’ spill yo heart out. Dramatic motherfucker.”
The words had no malice in them, Lamar feeling him smile as he said it. He kissed him once more, and they just sat in the rain, feeling it bathe them in fond memories.
//plz listen to remember the rain by 21st century it’s so good 💔😭 anyway ya i decided to end it on a sorta happy note !!!!! franklin is a stubborn guy smh,, sorry for any typos lol also i rlly had no idea where i wanted to go with this so sorry if it’s weird or whatever
#grand theft auto 5#gta v#lamar davis#franklin clinton#franklin/lamar#framar#one sided pining#but with a twist#mutual pining#i told y’all frank was hiding sumn
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going on a tolerance break, feel free to read more or ignore as you wish, but as always do not. r.b.
so im gonna give up a few of my vices for a good while. ive been at a place w some of my habits where im not rlly getting the result im wanting from them and its kinda just dragging me down. like if im gonna be feeling dissatisfied and irritable with it i can very well just deal with feeling dissatisfied and irritable without it. ive been watching a lot of stuff lately about general drug use, even stuff that i have not and will never knowingly mess with, and w all this info on what separates good experiences from bad ones really comes a lot down to the chemical reactions to the stimulus and mindset. like basically any behavior has the potential to become addictive if it causes a particularly strong reaction with the dopamine receptors. and the whole developing tolerance thing sucks. and itll happen whether its a substance or a behavior (though strong chemical addiction moves beyond problematic to genuinely dangerous in terms of withdrawal - thankfully not for anything ive got issues with - so itll suck but i dont have to worry that doing a tolerance break will like. kill me or fuck up my organs. honestly my lungs will be a lot happier if i also pause on the cbd bud as well, depending on how i tackle this. i have a tincture but i know it also contains a small amount of thc. its only like 1.3mg/serving and generally im only taking that or 1.5 servings which would still be like 2mg/serving but part of me still feels like id need to cut the thc out more than that idk. ik the cbd flower has a very negligible amount of thc so if im just missing the habit i think id do alright w switching over to cbd flower since that was actually going rlly well for me for a while (not in a trying to quit way, just in a mental health management way) so for a while there i was getting real strong into the cbd aspect, then i did some blends w some more thc heavy strains, had a few notable experiences and now im here. it sucks bc i KNOW that if i were literally just living on my own i wouldnt be having the problems im having with this stuff. like so much of the drive w my maladaptive behaviors (which im absolutely not saying these things Definitively Are, All The Time bc they really arent, but rn im not doing them bc i enjoy them, im doing them bc 1 im chasing the dragon and 2 its a way to get away from my family bc the way ive been living has been driving me out of my mind. truly the only reason i didnt lose it sooner was bc there was a long stretch of time (aside from the points where my sleep schedule was super fucked up, largely in part due to trying to figure out what way i could behave in my situation to make myself feel safe + i was out of the house for most of the day p much every day for months and months, which obviously helped. honestly if the weather werent what it has been right now id honestly be fine being outside just reading but its been wet and cold and now its getting super dark too so its a lot harder for me to find affordable ways to be somewhere that doesnt make me go fucking insane. and at least if im smoking weed it feels like i have a reason to be out in those conditions and it does make me feel better about them to a certain degree (aka barely enough lol) like literally if i just had my own tiny shack (properly weatherproof) in the middle of [redacted local nature area, and if u know me irl no it isnt the one youd be guessing]. enough for a bed Only or chair Only id be better off than i am right now. and i would absolutely be able to maintain healthier habits. i finally applied for housing but i havent got any notice of being pre-approved yet so i guess i still have to wait on that. i really hope i get to the top of that list sooner rather than later cuz i really am losing my fuckign mind. if youve read this far tell me about ur day or something cool uve been wanting to share but feels too weird/random to bring up normally idk lol. ily <3
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wwwhats up its 430am I cant sleep and I dont think I've ever done an annoying headcanon ramble for jdate on here so here we fuckin goooo I'm on mobile but I'm gonna try my damnedest to do a read more and if it doesnt work and looks stupid well sue me
amy is the one routinely awake before the other two. I dont mean shes always the first one to wake up, but her back pain is more likely to have her up in the early hours of the morning. shes also the only one who has anything thay resembles q sleeping schedule of the three as john is just like, completely fucked in that department and Dave's insomnia/depression-sleeping fucks him over sometimes. basically amy Has A Brain and also lost likely schedules it so that she can be falling asleep as her pain pills take effect.
amy also is the one who's like fairly into self care stuff like fuckinuhhh face masks and shit—look, I dont inow jackshit about self care, but I mean amy strikes me as the kind of person to actually maintain her appearance in a fairly regular manner. john will just like "forget" to take care of himself and then just Be Decadent for a week and then "forget" again (either going on a bender or just actually being normal for once) and all dave knows of self care is "when I get the urge to eat an entire pie, and give into that urge, That is self care"
anyways Partially because of that I headcanon Dave gets acne like Pretty Much All The Time and hes just kinda stopped caring about it. amy gets acne Sometimes because it just like Happens. john is that one lucky motherfucker who just is somehow naturally immune. perpetually clear skin on this man. I hate him
also dave Kind Of strikes me as the kind of guy fuckign "3 in 1" shampoo is targeted towards the man just Does Not Care. other girlfriends have tried to get him into actually using different kinds of soaps and not just defaulting to "3 in 1 wherever I think soap should go" but its amy who actually succeeds in breaking this terrible habit hes had.
also I think that Despite his hair being described as frizzy and all that, John actually takes care of his hair. except for times when hes Less Than Functional. and also yknow when the world is fuckin ending but I doubt anyone really has time for a haircare routine when they gotta be fighting monsters and shit
amy again is just a normal person about hair. but shes the only one who can actually cut hair and tbqh I think she does it Pretty Well! shes no professional but shes not john either that's for sure (if you let john close to your head with scissors, well— it's your funeral, man)
this is completely projecting and also like totally Useless but I just think it would be funny if Dave has exploding head syndrome. if you donf know what that is it's a phenomenon-or-something where right when you're dropping off to sleep your brain just liek idk gets bored I guess? and comes up with some phantom Loud Noises to startle the shit out of you. it's great! and by 'great' I mean terribly annoying! but in general I think Dave is a Very restless sleeper so him suddenly flinching himself awake isnt exactly Abnormal.
amy sleeps like a normal human being Mostly, I think she Might be one of those sorts who likes to sleep curled up in the fetal position which is so very valid. she gets night terrors sometimes though because ✨trauma✨. the best way to comfort her with that is a tight hug cause I feel like her Main fear would be that shes all alone again and a hug sure does help people feel less alone I think,
john either starfishes out when he sleeps (also I headcanon he likes to sleep at least Partially on top of Dave and Dave only pretends to hate it) or grabs hold of something and clings to it tightly. hes a very light sleeper, though, and snaps awake at any loud noise or especially if he gets bumped into too strongly. this doesn't always play well with Dave's restlessness and tendency to Sleep Fight but they manage.
I feel like its fairly common to Assume john has tattoos but specifically I feel like a lot of his tattoos are things he or his friends have drawn, I wrote about it Once Or Twice but maybe not here so I'll just like say it again, I think he asks his friends to draw shit on him then goes and gets it tattooed later (or, hell, right then and there lmao) and it's like a Mark of Friendship. he claims Dave has drawn the most on him because Dave's his best friend but whether or not that's true, who knows. the first one was from Dave, though, and john did it himself stick-and-poke style the night of. that happened while they were still in high school and Dave was actually Slightly Embarrassed because what he doodled was just like really stupid looking and fuckin hell john now you're gonna have that on you forever what the hell man? but the rest of John's tattoos, if not done by friends they're either things he drew (I maintain he still draws in his downtime I love the idea of artistically talented john so much-) or weird shit he found online.
I honestly didnt think Dave would really get tattoos because he does state hes afraid of needles BUT as someone Also afraid of needles who paradoxically wants tattoos .. he could probably power through it and get like A Few. one of them is from John (stick-and-poke style, again,) and I am Not actually sure how many hed have but definitely less than John. amy only has that one tattoo that I keep forgetting when I draw her godfuckendammit-
John is the one who makes the most Food Monstrosities (Dave barely even bothers to cook) and he does this by making just the worst decisions both technical-wise (as in, hes Definitely the "just turn the oven temperature up to speedrun cooking" kind of guy) and taste-wise. dave on the other hand is likely to make terrible drinks like jack daniels + mountain dew which my buddy Ben so fantastically dubbed "jack and piss." the sheer Concept of jack daniels + mtn dew tho is thanks to that one kurtis conner video about becoming a country boy which is entirely unrelated but everyone needs to know. ANYWAY.
john and Amy like playing pranks on each other (and dave). they're in an ongoing low-key prank war and Dave is Mostly just spectating but sometiems they Conspire to commit mischief against him. it's annoying sometimes but ultimately more endearing than it is annoying so he never gets Too mad.
john and Amy absolutely have Gaming Nights(tm) that sometimes include dave as well unless they wanna play some like fps game, I'm fairly sure hes said he doesnt really like those. but they also can get Competetive which, dave tends to act as a bit of a buffer to keep them from getting Too into it ... but sometimes he gets a little competitive too. what I'm trying to say is them playing mario kart is absolute chaos and also an event i woudl buy tickets to
john has a youtube channel for sure. he is So obnoxious. he hardly has any audience because let's be honest his videos kind of suck— they're all either kinda boring vlogs or him recording the cases he and Dave go on (when he can convince Dave to let him) which are almost always declared Fake by the commenters. amy is subscribed to him. dave probably doesnt even have/use his own YouTube channel so he was not subscribed until john stole his phone and did it for him. (he never watches the videos) the videos are not edited much, I dont think any of them really knows too much about video editing shit.
dave cant fuckin do math.
John and Dave do Not know how to handle crying. like Dave's learned what helps Amy, in specific, but anybody else? clueless. Dave also just does not cry very often in general (shut up lemme project again LMAO-) and tends to just refrain from doing it even if he wants to/probably should, rarely ever actually breaking down and letting it all out; he'll stop himself from getting there/even crying much in the first place. he doesn't exactly have a Reason for it or at least not one he can recite (it's the bullying. we dont get details of how that was beyond The Locker Room Incident which I wont go into but I'm just going to project the rest of it was similar to shit I went through, It's The Bullying). John also kinda Doesn't Cry and actually hes even more restrained about it than Dave, because he won't even cry around either of them if he can avoid it and if it happens he 1) will Not address it, 2) prefers no one else acknowledge it, and 3) will Run The Fuck Away if it's acknowledged. they both try Really Really Hard to help amy when shes crying though, if shes crying for a Big Reason, cause they both also understand she just cries easily and doesnt always need or want comfort.
that,s all for now BUT if I come up with mroe. there will be a reblog. also these are not all like "I am the only one who's ever tho ig ht this" or w/e a lot of them are from me talking with other people or Absorbing much older posts on here because I read Everuthing I can find.
I sure hope I can sleep soon, this is probably mostly incoherent. gnight
#jdate#john dies at the end#not sonic#rambles.txt#do i dare ? i do indeed csuse several dave headcanins here are projection#kin
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and finally, the conclusion of the dark brotherhood questline
i have been through so much and lost so much but i gained the one thing that matters most of all..... cicero’s heart
-----
well
these aren’t the real emperor’s clothes but i have this still,
i put it on the dawnstar sanctuary mannequin with the jester hat lmao
:( my favorite guard friend who hangs out around the shops in the mornings with me is onto me
hes not hostile or reporting me to the jarl or anything at least tho
Dont woRRY About It
i did have guards after me for a while (i had. several just go ‘ok ill let you off this time :)’ bc. i. asked nicely. after attempting to assassinate the emperor of skyrim) but eventually just paid my bounty and they were like ok you’re good and now apparently everyone has completely forgotten That Time I Tried To Murder The Fucking Emperor
anyway after the fucking massacre that happened at the sanctuary i was absolutely Out For Blood
i mean like....... i realize maro is completely justified here. we are in fact a league of assassins guilty of murdering A Lot of people, we very much did make a real attempt on the emperor’s life (and killed his double, who was less important but still like, an innocent guy, presumably)(or even if it was like that death note thing where its actually a criminal on death row anyway, like, we clearly didnt know that) and i did personally murder maro’s son and ruin his reputation, so. like. we are the bad guys in this situation no matter how you look at it lmao but STILL THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS, FUCKER
so i decided to murder him out of pure spite, but. uh
I DONT REMEMBER WHAT I DID TO CAUSE THIS BUT I ACTUALLY GOT THE SOLITUDE GUARDS TO MURDER HIM FOR ME LMAO I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING
im trying to remember what the fuck even happened here im clearly. underwater, i think maybe i like. confronted him and he got hostile but i jumped off the pier and the guards were like “woah that guy’s losing it” and intervened but he fought them too or something ??? ?? I DONT KNOW BUT THE GUARDS KILLED HIM FOR ME :’) thanks guys
then after everything we still kept the contract, and... the new plan.... was for me to sneak onto the emperor’s ship before he leaves skyrim and kill him there.... WHICH I COULD HAVE FUCKING. DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THIS IS SO MUCH EASIER THAN... KILLING SOME OFFICIAL’S SON AND PLANTING FALSE EVIDENCE AND TRACKING DOWN THE GOURMET AND MURDERING HIM AND IMPERSONATING HIM TO TRY TO POISON THE EMPEROR AND IMPLICATING A RANDOM CHEF WHO HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AND
EVERYONE IS DEAD!!!!! WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THIS. WAS ASTRID GETTING ME ALL MIXED UP IN THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE ON PURPOSE FROM THE BEGINNING ?? ? ? SORRY!!! IM ANGRY
i got all the way here without anyone even seeing me (i used a couple invisibility potions for the really tricky spots, but still) i could absolutely have just done this and avoided the entire everything. god
anyway i again dont really understand the politics of skyrim but. the real emperor was expecting me to find him one way or another. he had already accepted his death and made peace with it. it was. actually kind of sad. i dont know enough to say whether he was actually a decent guy or not but he seemed like he was. i couldnt bring myself to steal his clothes so i still just have the duplicate emperor’s clothes but it looks the same anyway
i took a war axe from one of his displays though. i dont remember if i already mentioned my ongoing tradition of always taking something from my victims and enchanting them later to mark who it belonged to, but thats a thing ive been doing. little murder scrapbook
im not really sure how murdering the emperor counts as “serving the empire” but sure ok
i also killed this guy lmao the emperor’s last wish was for me to kill whoever it was that betrayed him and i dont like this dude in the first place so i was like yea you got it
i built a memorial with the weapons rack in my room in the dawnstar sanctuary
enchanted special weapons for each of our fallen members (left to right it’s astrid, arnbjorn, festus, gabriella, and veezara) (i also later added another dagger for lis bc i had one space left)
theres also gemstones on the floor beneath each weapon but they keep sliding out of place :’ |
ANGEL DARLING SONG OF MY HEART LIGHT OF MY LIFE YOU’RE ALIVE
you can see the game autosaving in the corner bc i had Just come out of the sanctuary lmao thats how lightning fast i reacted to this
[sobbing] baby boy.... baby.... i was SO WORRIED
i murdered the fucking emperor of skyrim bc i was so desperate to continue this questline to see if cicero would come back I DID ALL OF THIS FOR YOU.....
(he pranked me and pretended he was gonna kill me at first. i almost lost it thinking he STILL wouldnt forgive me but it was ok :’) u got me, )
sniffs...... best friends forever........ this is the best possible outcome this is all ive ever wanted it was all worth it for this
we got our window back!!!!! also ft cicero subtitle photobombing me with his boundless enthusiasm for murder but i forgive him
oof we also have... a bunch of torture victims hanging around now too :’ ) oh
i kinda feel bad about them but there doesnt seem to be an option to let them go,
i mean i could just kill them all i guess. i killed one guy to see if i could. you Can. his body is still there. nobody seemed to care that i killed him
I TURNED AROUND AFTER NAZIR SAID THAT AND CICERO’S JUST. LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS,
i fuckign love this cute little shit. what the fuck. this is such justice too everyone was so rude to him, everyone made fun of him and talked down to him, everyone wanted him dead after he went after astrid, but she sold us out and got everyone killed, he was RIGHT, and now hes the right-hand-man to the Listener who is now ALSO the leader of the brotherhood. he’s basically second in command to the entire organization now and nobody can do a goddamn thing about it bc they all KNOW not to fuck with me now
i also realized hes taller than me and i dont like it, :’)
im still deciding medea’s taller than him anyway i dont care. she would be taller than the character model is allowing for
he likes to randomly start singing/humming really off key/dancing around its SO cute.... im lov him...............
darling..... calm down, :’)
hes so completely devoted to me now im in pain
i realized i could tell him to go to sleep and he actually did it the absolute madman
he gets up if you try to sleep beside him though
i mean. not that i tried that or anything
he stands SO close to me all the time.... i turn around and hes right there beaming adoringly at me. i cant do this
he kept saying mother needed some flowers so i took him out to collect some nightshade for her n dropped them around her feet
“whats the point of thievery lol like..... just kill them?????? stupid”
having cicero constantly two feet behind me jus making cute comments and/or half singing The Weirdest Shit I Have Ever Heard is absolutely delightful
ur so cute when you’re threatening people
he also hates the forsworn see we’re in sync
I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIN
me, the leader of the brotherhood, in full brotherhood armor, with cicero following right behind me giggling to himself about murder:
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just gonna rant about my health issues to no one in particular for a bit under the cut sooo
im just so fucking tired of being sick all the time like. its been almost 2 years now of actively Going To Doctors And Having Tests Done And Trying To Get A Diagnosis and fucking!!! nothing works!!! and i only have until the end of this coming school year to get it figured out before my insurance runs out otherwise im just fucked!!! because im sure as hell not gonna be able to afford a fucking mri every six months making 10 bucks an hour at some retail shithole but so far ive seen SIX different fucking doctors (not counting 2 ER visits) because they all just keep shuffling me back and forth like “idk maybe have someone else deal with this? weird lol” or like “have you considered that maybe you might have anxiety :) you seem stressed :)”
like yeah its a fucking stressful situation getting progressively fucking sicker for two goddamn years wasting thousands of dollars and reaching the end of a fucking ticking clock because almost every doctor ive seen is an incompetent jackass who does NOTHING but waste my time and money and then fucking condescend to me about anxiety like!!! yeah i probably DO have anxiety and depression and autism and what the fuck ever else but this isnt THAT
and the literal ONE TIME i had ANY treatment that worked AT ALL helping with my eye spasms (literally One of Many Symptoms that i deal with on a fucking daily basis that still manages to completely fuck up my life) is something i cant take anymore because it damaged my fucking eyes!!! possibly permanently!!! i already HAD issues wtih light sensitivity that this medicine made WAYYY fucking worse and guess whats one of the WORST things at setting off my eye spasms??? anything to do with fucking light so YEAH thANKS for that @ the opthalmologist who had me take those damn eye drops for two months straight, which other neuro opthalmologist said was bullshit when i saw her again, not that im letting HER off the hook either since she REFERRED me to that incompetent bitch in the first place and then had NO solution other than “hm well you definitely shouldnt take that medicine again, but theres literally No Other Treatment, maybe blow another $400 in a few months to come see me again so i can continue to Not Help You In Any Way”
and its getting wORSE ALL THE TIME!!! and the best thing doctors can think of is “hm well maybe wait a bit to see if it gets worse? and maybe then we’ll know what it is?” well its getting worse!!!! but they still dont seem to know what it is!!! like at first it was just my vision going out of focus for a few seconds at a time, then it was a few minutes, then i was having visual distortion (or maybe hallucinations? who knows! certainly not any of the fucking doctors ive seen!), then awful fucking eye strain headaches, then spasms in my neck, then my jaw, then my arms, then my legs, now all fucking over, and now i get sick and dizzy just by moving my HEAD too far or too suddenly and like at work earlier today i was just stumbling around for two hours bc there was too much pressure in my head and everything felt tilted and i was just grabbing at every surface trying not to fall with my head like on my shoulder bc keeping my neck straight was too fucking hard and i swear to fuckign god a couple nights ago there was this weird buzzing on the side of my face??? and like it felt like my mouth was moving slower than it should??? but i dont even KNOW if thats a Real SymptomTM or if i was just freaked out and tired and imagining things or if i really am just getting to be a paranoid delusional nutcase about my health because every little thing terrifies me at this point, like ive been coughing for a couple weeks and instead of being like “oh its a bad cold” im like “maybe now my immune systems fucked up too maybe this is A New Symptom” i literally cant tell anymore i have no fucking idea
and i dont WANT to think about all this All The Fucking Time but i do!!!!! i literally HAVE to bc it affects my life in every fucking possible way and i cant escape it like even rn the light from the fuckign computer is hurting my eyes and i cant even see what im typing half the time bc my eyes keep going out of focus and my teeth keep chattering and my head hurts or ill go to get a drink of water but then just Stand there for a few minutes bc i dont trust myself to hold a cup full of water and not spill it bc im having spasms or ill have to wear sunglasses at the dinner table bc my fucking idiot asshole dad got the BRIGHTEST possible lightbulbs for the dining room and i physically cant stand them
or like im already dreading having to explain all this shit to my professors this semester about how like “oh so i probably wont be able to keep up with daily readings, especialyl not if theyre on physical paper and i cant scale up the text because my eyes just spontaneously stop working and i cant read..... and ill need a computer to take notes, i can Usually hold a pencil but one time i had a spasm in class and flung it across the room and it was super embarrassing and i ltierally skipped that class for weeks because of it so id really rather not deal with that again.... and even though im a fuckign AMAZING public speaker like, state champion debate level public speaking, ill still probably get super fucking nervous and suck at any kind of in class presentation bc ill just be thinking about my spasms the whole time and wont be able to focus....... and ill have to wear sunglasses all the time too so hopefully thats not an issue........ and also ill probably miss a lot of class bc whether or not i can handle walking half a mile Varies Wildly from day to day and also i have a lot of doctors appointments and sometimes im on medicine that completely ruins my sleep schedule so you know... looking forward to a great semester, hope i dont completely fail your class”
and i have fuckign work tomorrow where ill have to deal with trying to pretend like even the most minor tasks arent painful and difficult and deal with awful btichy entitled customers complaining that im not SMILEY enough for you like the motherfucker who asked me how i was and i said fine and he was like “jUuUUuuuST fINE” like shut the everlasting FUCK UP with that ive met my obligation leave me ALONE my day isnt FINE im in awful pain and i HATE you and everyone like you or ill have to deal with my coworkers giving me weird looks while im having spasms or outright MOCKING me for them like the asshole that called me TWITCH (and a whore, but thats Another Fucking Story) or just not knowing how to deal and making bad taste jokes like when my teeth are chattering bc I Physically Cant Make It Stop like “haha are you chewing an invisible piece of gum lol” like no bitch im a neurological nightmare and my brain doesnt work and im Barely Holding Together would you PLEASE shut the fuck up
and most of the time i just feel like everyone thinks im a fucking freak like even just sitting in the waiting room to see the neurologist or opthalmologist or whatever and everyone else there is Old and im the only person even remotely close to my age there and even the doctors dont seem to take me that seriously bc of it like “oh shes young, cant be that bad, all these old people out here are gonna die like tomorrow so why worry about this girl, its probably just anxiety from being on her period or having a test to study for lol” like straight up when the movement disorder neurologist was examining me she was like “im not used to seeing anyone this young or healthy’ and i know she meant it relatively speaking but like!!! clearly im NOT healthy or i wouldnt BE here like obviously something is wrong with me and its ruining my life and its serious and id like it fixed thanks!!!!!
and i feel like No One Gets It like, obviously there are people wayyyy sicker than i am who suffer a lot more or people in similar situations but like. i dont Personally Know someone like that i can just talk to and like, of course i have friends who can Listen but.................................. theres a difference from being able to listen and being able to actually Understand and sometimes you just cant Get It unless youve gone through it like i really dont think ANYONE in my life has any idea how serious this is or how much it affects me and i know i cant expect everyone to just Always Think Of My IssuesTM but little things!!! like maybe NOT having the brighest possible lightbulbs in the dining room!!!! my brother NOT having his birthday party at dave and busters, which i had TONS of spasms at last time i went (and im even worse now!) AND the staff gave me shit about wearing sunglasses so now im nervous about That too or just! idk! people respecting and listening to me when i tell them that i Cant Do Something or that Doing That Thing Hurts and not just brushing me off or telling me im overreacting and then getting all shocked pikachu face when their dumbassery actually physically HURTS me and i get pissed with them for it!!!!
i dont think anyone gets how much it scares me all the time or how its Always on my mind and i literally cant think about anything else like. this could be the rest of my life. this could end my life. i dont know what i have. i might get diagnosed in the next month and have it completely cured, i might get a diagnosis and still be sick forever, i might not find out until its too late and i have LITERALLY NO FUCKING IDEA WHICH ONE!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
#vent#rant#i sincerely doubt anyone will read to the end of this but whomst knows#besides it feels nice to just scream
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well that backstory drop was everything that I had hoped for pretty much I took some pretty long notes imo??
(extra note: i take these for personal use theres just so much shite im sorry)
Anyway I tried to transcribe most of the molly scene so its probably spelled like SHIT cause i was typing on one laptop and looking at the other
that outta the way, heres my notes from this week
Mollymauk knows Exactly whats fucking happening ((Additional later note: No he does not. Fuck.)
"its lucien from two years ago" "this is my nightmare just go with it"
(high pitched) "I'LlL eXpLaIn LatEr"
So very very very stressed and panicky
Tabaxi: I'm sorry for using your old name.
"Nonagon." Jesus CHRIST FUCKING MOLLY
"we watched you die"
Cree? Kree? Pronounced that way.
Organisation name "Tomb Takers"
The gentleman: a (pale?) teal-skinned, dark haired character leather gloves + black hair (shoulderish length)
"Perpetually sweating" ew lmao. dampness.
(Uhhhh water genasi???? >This isnt canon just based on what I know?)
Long table
Kree (sp) takes blood from them as collateral, can track with it?
Beau to Fjord: ... Can I borrow a tusk
"Lets gamble" - The gentleman, gambling with Fjord
50 gold buy in, "If I win, you're mine. If you win, we do business."
Bets up to 300gp each (600 total)
Fjord wins. Oh jesus CHRIST. That was so stressful RIP the chance of me sleeping again.
Kara is there. shes been informing about the knights of requital
Molly + Beau associated with the murder of the high ricter. "I can make this investigation... go away (fwoosh)"
" favour in kind" a wall with a purple light and an abandoned research facility. The Gentleman wants them to check it out. "Find a way in. Enquire. Seek and clear the space of any dangers. Hostile creatures. Return with any of your findings."
Nott "would you pass a test for us"
two vials of alcohol, one of acid, reasonably the same colour.
"this is alcohol. This is alcohol. THIS ONE is Acid." (drinks the fucking acid)
(ooc excitement OOOOOH, THAT IS SO BALLER)
Beau (gives Kara a wink) (to Fjord) "Deal with that later"
"Boutta say the same"
"Undead ghost things" and Taliesin and Ashley share just like a Look
(Molly's thing is undead iirc??? and fiend? idk i need to do research)
Beau deliberately fucking up nonagon is very very funny. Nonotech. Nantucket.
A constant lucien stream of "we'll talk about this later" and "It's Lucien in this bar"
Yasha "i think im just looking for answers for something and i dont know if i recieved any more"
Caleb insisting theres no pressure to tell them things when Nott is pressing for information. I love Caleb. Hes wonderful. Someone smooch him.
Caleb: we have been getting our hands dirty are you sure you want to get your hands dirty with us?
yasha: thats all I like to do, my friend
Lucien: It's a sight to behold!
(followed by That Taliesin Grin. you KNOW the one.)
Yasha is from Xhorhas. I can't spell. You know what im aiming for lulu spell check it later.
Southern parts of Xhorhas, not where the assassin(s) were from. Has been in the empire for "about a year and a half" ("when did i meet you?" to Molly.)
Hes so stressed. Its so wonderful. I love this.
They go to talk to Kara shes sharpening blades.
She fuckin hates xhorhasians. So does the gentleman apparently. Worked for him for 8 years. relationship of convenience.
"You got a nice face" - Beau to Kara.
"Looks like we're in bed one way or the other" Kara jokes about working together
Beau: I mean...
Fjord: Leave that one alone. Leave that one alone.
Beau: ...Okay.
Drop of the greatsword is "moontouched"?????
(re the xhorhasian longsword)
It's taller than Nott
Yasha: (in the voice when things are adorable) It's taller than Nott?
Lucien: Many things are taller than Nott.
The ogre is 10 or 11 feet tall. Thats taller than my room. My room is only like 8 feet tall.
Caleb introduces himself with his full name. I dont think this has ever happened.
EDIT:
@madnessiseverything
caleb has actually introduced himself with his full name a few times if i recall. for example with the knights of requital (i think??) and back in trostenwald
comes to mind immediately
I’m still learning to be an encyclopaedia again thanks friend
Jester uses the wand of smiles.
"Kutha" is the Ogre's name
(Late afternoon they leave)
"dohecadoohickey"
theyre in Molly + Fjords room iirc cause Horus?(Sp) is in there
(He leaves to Beau and Jester’s room wholst they talk)
Beau "i have dated way too many Luciens before" (Also applioes to marisha)
"why do you have so many names"
"I woke up without any names or any past buried in the ground two years ago"
"my firs memory my oldest memory is dirt in my face underground"
Zone of truth is cast!!!
Pass: Beau, Fjord
Fail: Nott, Molly, Yasha, Caleb
Molly has No Fucking Idea who he is. Gods the fandom called this.
"some asshole got buried in the dirt. FUCK HIM."
disassociates Lucien with Molly. Got more tattoos. days between waking up and the carnival. barely speaking. woke up alone.
Cakeb: are you a good guy?
Molly:..... I'd like to think so.
"a few months after I came to, I started noticing I could do (blood hunter) things." (Ices a dagger)
He really doesnt wanna know who he used to be.
GOD I CALLED THE FLASHBACKS.
A fuckup: Mollymauk finds someone in the group super attractive
Yasha: "yes there are people here that i think are very attractive and charming but that doesnt mean I'll act on that."
mollys just holdiong a glowing bedpost. radiant glow.
"i am told, though i dont really remember this part, that I only said the word empty over and over for the first week"
can you imagine how it would feel to not feel anything about anything that has happened to you so far?
everyone but beau: no
beau: yes.
Molly:... why am i not surprised.
"The Moonweaver"??? ooh son.
"never trust the truth. Truth is vicious. The truth thinks that you owe it something. I like my bullshit. It's good, it's happy, It makes other people happy."
"do you know who the moonweaver is?"
"No."
"Good. The swords are cheap carnival glass."
Moonweaver is elven deity, god over the night and shadow, music, not one of the approved religions. not a betrayer god, is inspiration for classic art, caretaker of evening trysts.
fjord: its you thats special, not your swords
"i feel tinges of things on occasion. Nothing I like."
"i may be a liar but I'm never a betrayer."
Oooh molly actually somewhat believes in fortune telling.
"I left EVERY TOWN better than I found it."
Snake with red eye on palm and opposite side. Eye in floral arrangement. Crimson. Same place he bleeds on his neck in the peacock feathers.
"i need to protect you snd myself from whatever that is. Its a wildcard."
"I feel like youre fretfully ignorant and full of platitudes but I sstill like you" - Molly to Nott
oh on the undead again- it is Molly's thing, I was right. Wispy orb things haunt areas where they seek life force. Will-o-wisps. Thats hot. Lmao cause theyre often fire??? LMAO SON.
molly get suncomfortably close to fjord as he bonds with the new blade and puts hand on his chest
"The power was in you... all along. SEE YOU AT BREAKFAST! :D"
Beau: (asks Caleb to buy her something sharp she can throw) DO NOT *FUCK ME* HERE CALEB, DO NOT FUCK ME.
Caleb: ... Not interested, but-
"Zemnians dont tell jokes. They experience only pain." (OOC Sam its just funny)
Pumat Prime a little surlier than the others.
Yasha rocking that fucked charisma <3
Fjord BUYS THE FUCKING 800GP CLOAK? JESUS.
Yasha pays 80GP (10gp discount) for 2 healing potions
Caleb buys ink + parchment.
Yasha assumes Fjord's making fun of her awwwww!!! Hes being genuone complimenting her haggling skill bless.
Caleb is so 100% aware how FUCKING gay Beau is for yasha honestly. theres no way. (Additional later note confirmed in a gag mostly OOC, in character but not? in canon)
Beau playing the parental figure to horus, did you get everything? go pee one more time before you leave!
Molly sees guards and splits from the group to hide at The LEaky Tap.
they put a bag over Horus' head. its funny.
Creepy card dealer gnome "dweeze"??
Beau and Caleb holdin hands. so fuckign adorable. "beau doesnt like me much." (beau holds him so he doesnt fall)
((NOTE @ ME this is a Good One. Think about it.)
Order in tunnel Fjord, Yasha, Molly, Jester, Beau, Nott, Caleb
"do you know how to drive a boat" Nott lmao
This weeks Nott stance from lulu: like 5/10 (About the same as last week)
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empress ki
are these koreans gonna go as far as to let this man fall for who he thinks is just some young cool guy?
i mean - they’re not chinese so
this is kinda silly lol. if she really wanted to be let go she could have just punched him. i guess that would have gone too far
this RANDOM assassin almost kills them - he disappears. we good. no worries.
where are her own men????
NOOOOO don’t ruin it
why the fuck would she have developed a feminine slap? i think theyre gonna ruin it. like contact with a male love interest will just forcibly feminise you
ok no she came up with an excuse
god - an openhanded slap from another man lol i can see how that might be quite offensive
she just chills in the crown prince’s bath no prob lol. ok so she locked the door
she just let herself get fuckin shot for this lol
this episode moves super fast but thats fun but i still don’t know how the king and the crown prince are related. the whole hostage thing really messed things up
i just realised that i love the bro/bro mlm stuff if its actually m/f. LOL.and I KNOW it’s going to only last one fuckin episode bc we’re gonna go right back to misgyny and chattel slavery especially for women but yknow
does she remember him?? did she send the bandana? i dont know on which side she really is.
yeah ofc shes the bandana guy. i mean - DUH.
WHY RISK YOUR OWN MEN - WHAT WAS THE PLAN
is this spy gonna get her bandana now???
or are these not her own guys?? THEY ARE
is she playing the king?? like - im still trustworthy though!!!! (or at least my men are) but how could she think to rely on the crown prince???
oh no the cool big sword moustache guy!!! why would he be the spy for the king????????????? what is there to gain??????? HE’S NOT THANK GOD
YES!!!! I LOVE THEM. ‘hit me’ BAM *violently and romantically perches over him to almost stab him*
aww haha the king is attached to seung nyang. too bad you’re an evil bastard she wants to destroy
i can’t quite tell why revealing the salt location drop off point is important or not. i guess it was just and only a test.
was that the guy in blue who volunteered to be shot at? : ‘( ah it’s not.its just some nobody.
I guess she couldn’t have known who knew of her blue bandana so she had to hide it. But couldn’t she have told this guy from the very beginning when they were alone?
did the official guard not get told that more people were coming???? LOL. that’s one fuckin mess
HEROIC HORSERIDING YEAAAAAAAA
did she not think of a reason for being alive?
‘kill me’ OH MY GOD hahahahaa. smart but so risky
(it turns out that the crown prince is the crown prince but the king is the brother of his dad’s)
is there something you want?
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED MONEY
oh my god this guy is gambling it all lol. oh no, he’s gonna make it too.
it’s always the ‘unrightful’ people that get villainised for wanting power
what the fuck
her dad’s gonna kill all her friends and make her into a sex slave? jezus christ how dark (i read a synopsis that she gets sent to yuan after all somehow). on who’s fucking authority? couldn’t they have gotten at the very least a letter from the goddamn ‘auditor’ to protect them
oh my god. just wear your fucking ring on the outside of your goddamn clothes. that was so FUCKING close
wow that was a pretty realistic breakdown
GO SEE HIM HELLO!!!!
she became a fucking COP TO SEE HIM HOLY SHIT LOL
JUST SHOW HIM THE FUCKING RING
did she just leave her band of boys behind???
dude why is this series romance blocking me what the fuck
gotta show that Yuan is backward through furs and beads!!
i do love that this series had the guts to start off with heartbreak. but also to let the female protagonist be a big bi....amorous...?
this show somehow made me feel sympathetic towards a stinkin imperial rich kid. he didn’t ask to be born into a family that would become his death
‘young boy’ *is literally at least 40*
the KING has only 10 men to spare? really?
he’s gonna let his servant get fucking murdered in his stead? yikes. ok so that wasn’t his PLAN no. poor servant guy
so they got her a MATCH - a dirven and smart and powerful king. and a soft and unexperienced and endangered future emperor.
this is so much my fucking THING it’s insane. i don’t even mind that the king is kinda ...average looking.
and she kicks his ASS LOL. and he falls ultimately deeply in love with her. this is incredible.
i wonder if she’s going to hold the death of his servant against him
they didn’t even take his head? stupid. oh i guess that’s for the traitors.
SHE STILL DOESN’T GET ITS REALLY HIM. I THOUGHT SHE WAS SMART
really - she lets the fucking chief get the credit. are you fucking kidding me? fuck this. be smarter! hate having to say that to a character. Be! smarter!
now he gets to be
WHY HIDE FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT THE FUCK. if this is gonna be the whole fuckign show i can’t take it.
im gonna need to know if she keeps fucking hiding. stop hiding! STOP. stop hiding from the important men in your life! what the FUCK. stop hiding from your dad. Stop HIDING FROM YOUR FUCKING BESTO BOYFRIEND
the prince isn’t even upset about his servant’s demise
fucking finally somebody found out seung nyang was the ONE
I love Strong King - I love vulnerable future Emperor
he’s just a stupid indoctrinated kid! somebody should explain to him all the horrors that have been done to people in his name!
we have a sequence in which she’s done great deeds, gets called in, is concerned about how she slapped the important person around lol
we’re gonna get teh exact same for Togon one day
jezus christ that’s a very romantic thing to say to a cool and heroic young guy who saved your skin twice, king. are you - i n l o v e? a lil bromance perhaps?
awww he’s so damn happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
she’s like - fuck. wish she stayed a little more ruffian though. wheres the fucking swagger!
how am i so into this m/m ship. LOL. im really into this stronk man and rogueish ‘boy’ bonding through hardship crisis crossing all rank
im up for her teaching the prince compassion and horror and the way of the world though
I KNOW this is soon going to devolve into a palace drama though so that fucking sucks
why is the emperor a young guy and the brother an old guy. was the emperor the preferred son? from the preferred wife?
has she never heard a guy pee??? i thought she lived with soldiers and shit
why the fuck is she carrying his excrement to the sea when she’s his BODYGUARD. this went differently than i thought
he literally is alone. there is no shift of the guard with him. hello?
what the fuck is this lax bodyguard shit. you need at LEAST two so one can sleep while the other guards.
everytime she bathes im like - ALARM ALARM
this jimbo traitor is so stupid lol
commander - just approach this stupid idiot. be the dad you want to be.
you could just become his son!!! hello????
so you really care about the peoplle huhg? thats why you keep selling off women?
oh my god. is the prince also falling in love with this ‘boy’? who embodies the masculine ideal? GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH im gonna cry when this is over and she ends up a fucking maid
this romantic fucking epic music as they struggle in a petty fucking competition in teh surf jlsjLKFJSDLJ:FLDSF I LOVE THIS
SHE VIOLENTLY PERCHES ABOVE THIS GUY TOO. ROMANTIC MUSIC
the koreans KNOW what is good. THEY KNOW.
oh this poor guy. please let this guy meet poor people. like. idk. the stolen women made into slaves and shit
yeah yeah they bond without him knowing about losing a parent and wanting revenge
the king is like, MY BOY!! that’s MY boy!! hands off!!!! that’s my dearest bromance boy friend!!!!
oh no - shes going to have to choose who to ride with lol
oh nooooooooo Seung Nyang don’t hurt King boyfriend !
‘he will not take Seung Nyang, will he?’ i had to double take there
I FINALLY understand the appeal of all unassailable men in romance. god, my brain is weird.
give seung nyang to me. dsjfpawejfeawjfljsdkljldsjflkdfsa dude. no. i know this is a love triangle but it is just within good if they do THIS moment right
the prince is a horrible shit
nooooo seung nyang please don’t hurt the king!!! he loves you!!!!
‘why am i burning up inside?’ YOU LOVE HIM!! YOU LOVE SEUNG NYANG!!! you love this guy!!! the koreans are daring lil mfs
where is the ruffian guy with the moustache and big sword?? he was the king’s left hand man when he wasn’t king yet.
the actress has really feminised Seung Nyangs mannerisms and way of movement past few eps (oh it’s a dream)
oh my god they’re no-homo-ing this through a dream. he just FEELS like Seung Nyang is a woman!!! that’s why he’s attracted!!! lol
seung nyang loses her dad. prince doesn’t notice. jezus
he impressed some dudewith his self-righteous dragon heaven propaganda. goddddd. the prince truly does not care how many people have already died for him. WHEN will he become likeable instead of hilariously piteous
just absolutely devastating end scene. shitty k-pop outtro.o hgod
will the prince finally - through seung nyang realise that actaully it fucking sucks that people keep being horribly harmed and killed for his sake?
JEZUS CHRIST I AM ON EPISODE 5 wHAT THE FUCK THIS IS LIKE 60 episodes long. oh my god no.
the thing i like about this show is that she looks believably like a very feminine boy for korean standards.
they keep playing him as childish, selfish and incompetent. but like, soooo many people DIED FOR HIM
hwo didn’t they kill bayan for obviously killing their own guard lol
finally she confronts him with the regular people!!!
what is lord jang doing with them
wow the commander’s beard is long. they been going for a while
well he is suffering - but can’t she get to him through words. make him a better person?
he is asking an important question. ANSWER IT GODDAMNIT
thsi ‘warming’ is so ridiculous haahahaha
*has full view of covered breasts* ‘he is definitely a boy!!!!’
i don’t know what sexuality politics this is - probably very bad ones - if you’re a straight man then you’re attracted to some fundamental femaleness in women!! or something
why is a bite mark evidence
god - these powerful people have enormous egos. they must, it is bred in them.i deserve power and when it is taken from me it sucks so much i can’t breathe!!! well uh yeah - everybody feels that way you ain’t special
she looks so sick
feels empathy for the first time ever. what a wonderful fantasy. that somebody could teach a prince empathy
*goes into town completely uncovered in royal robes which haven’t been weathered at all* ok
‘why did you hide you are a woman?’ what COMPLETE AND UTTER MALE NONSENSE
WOMEN ARE GETTING DRAGGED OFF TO BE SEX SLAVES AND YOU ASK THAT??? ‘sure, im sure you had your reasons’
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT
53:50
so she gets him in and then he betrays her? lol. but does it really matter? the king won’t be tried, there’s no reason for goryeo to be annexed. seung nyang won’t die. etc. he might as well go back to his deadly golden cage without endangering himself.
is it for her dad that she asks this of him? he faints, eh that’s a fine way out.
cant she hug a king back when he hugs her????? come ON
he almost killed his fucking son. these people are so CRAAAYYYZY
*leaves the people most likely to turn on him behind with the prince*
why does he have to reveal this?? what are the stakes here??”
goryeo’s soldiers???????????? what the fuck. i thought he was gonna come up with something clever like - pirates or something. not just ‘oh it was a random weirdo band of soldiers’ no - ‘under the orders of the king’
WHAT. hes throwing teh whole country to the wolves. if seung nyang doesn’t kill him ill be surprised. seung nyang better get him for this for a thousand fucking years.
so he’s even personally betraying seung nyang. for a tiny chance at power. damn. wow. damn wow.
jezus what a fucking way to leave your daughter! making your last exchange putting yourself down as a father. DUDE. could have ended shit in a better way!
anyway literally cried twice about her losing her dad already
anyway so they both die in her arms. great.
yeaaaaaaah swearing to kill him. good. too bad it’s gonna be like 50 eps of palace maid shit and the prince barely got a taste of poverty
really wonder how traumatising this whole - is revealed as a woman and transferred to the empire as a sex slave thing is going to be - for me i mean
‘he’s probably living well in his homeland’ - how could you trust that your orders will be followed???
this is completely unrealistic wow
doesnt she get a fucking horse
who the fuck was park bhu - the undercop?
oh apparently laughing ugly is an indication of evil for a woman. laughing maniacally is an indication of evil for a man
her archnemesis is gonna unmask her as a woman in public? i think i might have to quit this show at this exact moment.
aaand.....guess ill have to quit.
ok that wasn’t so bad
how did they have women’s silks and makeup with them
she’s literally a martial artist warrior and she can’t fight a rapist attacker with her hands free?
oh god. she’s gonna be all feminine now bc she looks like a girl. oh god. i feel kinda sick.
SHE SUDDENLY DOESN’T HAVE ANY BANGS ANYMORE BUT LONG HAIR
THAT COMB WAS MAGICAL
some classic ‘female body weak’ sexism. love getting that from the beau
i know they’re trying to make danashiri seem unsympathetic but she’s saying fuck you to sexism here. then again it’s because she’s a spoiled elite brat
they really are made for each other
holy shit. this series just goes on and on and on and on and on. i can’t do this.
#vidi#personal#my stuff#empress ki#they are doing absolutely wonderful classic shit for her its amazing#in the first six episodes#then it's like palace drama and shit or whatever#getting preyed on by the guy who killed your mother etc.
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loneliness </\///\|/3
a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.
(found that name on hardcore baby names)
–chmapter jop–
before the tríp
It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.
“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.
Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.
“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”
Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.
*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.
“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.
Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”
HOLY MOTHER OF
F U C K
JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
WHAT THE S H IT DUDE
ace will remember this.
Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”
“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”
“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”
“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”
Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao
“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”
Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”
Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.
Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.
Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”
Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.
“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.
“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.
Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.
“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.
“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”
Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.
“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”
Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.
“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.
“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”
chapter dos
two four trucks
The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.
sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!
truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS
truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron
truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis
truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper
truck two.
Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.
“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”
“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”
“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”
Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.
“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”
“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”
truck three.
The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.
Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.
“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”
“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”
Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”
Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”
*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.
truck four.
“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”
TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.
“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.
They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”
The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”
“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”
After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.
And finally, the first truck.
truck one.
Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.
“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.
“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.
“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.
“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”
Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.
“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.
“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”
…
“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”
“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”
the grocewy stowe
The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.
“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”
“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.
MOTHERFUCKER.
A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.
“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”
A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)
oh, son of a B I T C H .
it's the french lady who smells weird.
Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.
Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.
So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?
Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.
It's the middle of October.
This is their anniversary vacation.
Shit.
in the store
Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.
Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????
a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.
you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”
“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”
parking lot.
Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.
Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.
“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.
WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,
B I T C H !! !! !!
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30 & 32 (okee i’m done now) ♥️🤗
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?
dude this is some deep shit??!?!!! I think I have been truly scared a few times in my life…
I fell out of a rafting boat when i was round 12. the current of the water pushed me underneath the boat and i though i was going to drown.. i literally almost gave up and accepted the fact i was going to die… I was really scared but i felt kinda calm too - which scared me even more… luckily i didnt die and i went rafter like 4 more times after that time hahahaha
i also was very scared when my cat died.. idk why but i was so afraid…?? it was a different kind of scared than the feeling i had when i almost drowned…
also when i was really young (i think i was around 8 or 9 years old) i had to go on a halloween night walk with my school and i was so fuckign scared. I didnt want to go but the teachers kind forced me (bc “it wouldnt be as bad as i thought” - which was bullshit: it was worse) i remember crying the WHOLE time and clinging onto my teachers arm. i was actually terrified - like i couldn’t talk anymore and i had goosebumps all over my body… Like i remember is so vividly…. probably my biggest panic attack ever lmao & im still mad at my teachers that i had to go!!!!
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.
I dont like staying up very late!! like i try to sleep before midnight bc i need my 8h of sleep and if i fall asleep at 4am that manes i’ll wake up at noon and i wasted the whole morning and i hate that lmao BUT i once stayed up till 4:30 with my friend because we watched all twilight movies in one night!!! it wasn’t worth it tho, i mean the ending sucks???? they dont even really fight!!!?!?!?!?!?
thank you (AGAIn!!!) for asking me these anna ahahahaha
🥤🐢 ask me cute questions here!!!! 🐢🥤
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even More OC group chat shenanigans
HUGHES: Madena oh my god
ZI: jdndjdjdjjd madena you did NOT
MADENA: I TOTALLY DID IM SVDBDBHD
HUGHES: I hate this Madena wh
HUGHES: “considering that I am a gay,,,” LIKE
ZI: “half of us,,,are immigrants,,,and children and grandchildren of immigrants,,,,end it” like has your best friend ever
HUGHES: YEAH MY BEST FRIEND HAS EVER THEY DID IT TODAY YOU WERE THERE
MADENA: im sorry but like what did she expect complaining about gay people and immigrants to a nb bisexual with two parents from two different continents...like? Ok
ZI: let's debate sexuality when it's obvious that half the class are LGBT and the other half are bigots!!!
ZI: let's talk about “illegal” immigration when almost EVERYONE IN THE ROOM has a close family member that immigrated here!
HUGHES: RIGHT AND TBIS IS AP POLISCI NOT AP “DISCUSS HUMAN RIGHTS” LET'S N O T
MADENA: this is both the greatest and worst day of my life why did I SAY that dbdbdn
ZI: what u said was true and you should say it
MADENA: mnmerrg
ZI: mads ur literally iconic there are literally people talking about u being their hero I'm???
HUGHES: I can't believe the evil was thoroughly defeated in our third hour class today.
MADENA: theevilisdefeated.png
CAMILLA: Narla!
NARLA: Yeah?
CAMILLA: Friendly reminder that we have a game today uwu……….do u have what u need? You dint have ur knee pads last time
NARLA: Fuck, I honestly forgot my stuff. I'm probably gonna drive home and get them.
NARLA: And never say “friendly reminder” or use uwu ever again in my presence.
CAMILLA: You should let Zi bring you uwu
NARLA: Perish, you bitch. You bully. You scoundrel.
CAMILLA: ;^)
NARLA: Hey, Zi. Are you busy after school? I was hoping that I could get a ride home, today. I have to get my vball gear for tonight.
ZI: oh! Yeah! I'll be waiting in the car after school. Can i
ZI: uh
NARLA: ?
ZI: can I come watch you, tonight?
NARLA: I'm blushing so hard she asked to come watch us tonight.
CAMILLA: HELL YEA we need the support
CAMILLA: Not that we gonna lose but your biggest fan being there is gonna make u go into overdrive.........ur gonna beast out........
CAMILLA: ion know if the other team is gonna stand a chance
NARLA: PERISH, ASSHOLE.
NARLA: Of course you can come! :)!
ZI: !!!
CAMILLA: WELCOM TO MY F U CK HO US E
MADENA: we have banini...and avocaidi…
HUGHES: Perish
ZI: perish
NARLA: Perish.
MADENA: Oh worm? Permission granted?
ZI: MADS NO
HUGHES: N O
ZI: mmmmmMMMAAAAAAAAAAA
STEPHANI: God, same.
HUGHES: What's going on in Louisiana? ):
NARLA: They keep raising the prom fee as though we're made of money. Lmao.
JUSTINE: I mean, Narla will be fine, she’s actually made of money,,, but like, not many other people will be.
ZI: LMAO.
MADENA: Zi ):
ZI: im sorry im sorry I just
NARLA: I'll pay for you to go. I'll pay for any of you, if you need it. It's not like we're using it for much, at home.
CAMILLA: ,,, Narla,,, ur mom
NARLA: Irrelevant.
MADENA: godiwishthatwereme.png
CAMILLA: aight……………………..
ZI: id die for Narla but whatever
HUGHES: You're at her game, aren't u
ZI: …no
HUGHES: …
ZI: …yes
ZI: Hughes her thighs...her calves….me gay
MADENA: I heard gay what's goin on
MADENA: oh its just z nvm
ZI: thighs.mp4
ZI: look at her go!
CAMILLA: ive come from the court to tell u that you are Definitely in the wrong chat
MADENA: ho-o-oly shit
CAMILLA: i got her phone lmao y'all secrets safe w me
CAMILLA: just deleted those messages have fun in pineville bye
HUGHES: Isn't that actually a place in Louisiana
HUGHES: Cami?
ZI: she's back on the court but yeah it is
ZI: holy shit I owe Camilla my entire life im going to the T3 Group Chat
HUGHES: real paranoia hours
HUGHES: if u up alone at 3:10 in the morning
HUGHES: hearing things, seeing things, and overthinking ur relationships
HUGHES: slam that mf like
HUGHES: this is so stupid like wow I love. feeling this way. Fave. 10 out of fuckign 10 i lobe iy
HUGHES: I need tk pee but im svared tk adn no ones up i catn
CAMILLA: oh shit
CAMILLA: ok okay im up right now, I'm here right now, I need you to take deep breaths for me
HUGHES: catn’
CAMILLA: can I call u
HUGHES: yehh
ZI: oh no
NARLA: Hughes, are you okay, now? I'm sorry that I wasn't awake when you needed someone. ):
CAMILLA: they asleep rn but I think they r ok for rn
CAMILLA: has this happened before zi
ZI: not to this extent
ZI: sometimes he does focus extensively on everything around him and it makes him anxious
NARLA: Maybe this should wait until Hughes says that we have his permission to talk about this.
CAMILLA: yeah
HUGHES: last night was a shit show
HUGHES: my bad
MADENA: Are u ok now?
ZI: ^
NARLA: ^
CAMILLA: ^
JUSTINE: ^
STEPHANI: ^
HUGHES: Yeah thanks
HUGHES: Camilla made me take sleep medicine and i pretty much passed out soon after lmao
CAMILLA: Sleep > Being Awake lmao
MADENA: mood
ZI: ......everybody wants to be a cat.....
HUGHES: oh my god not again
ZI: aS quare witha horn makes u wish u werent born evertime he plays
MADENA: Oh A Rinky Tinky Tinky!
ZI: with a square in the act! u can set musci back! to the caveman days!
NARLA: Oh, a rinky tinky tinyk!
HUGHES: This is torture you’re all doing ths knowing it was my fave song to play in jazz band end me
MADENA: 👀 👀 👀
Narla: RIP...It was my fault, I wanted to watch The Aristocats.........
HUGHES: Perish, Narla Miaro.
NARLA: Fuck you, Hughes.
STEPHANI: atthepool.png
STEPHANI: shes so fuckgin beautiful shes wearng this bikini and shes like fuckign aphrodite or sme shit
JUSTINE: END THIS
JUSTINE: prety.png
JUSTINE: LOOK AT MY GIRLFRIEND SHE DESERVES THE WORLD SHES GIGGLIN
NARLA: God, can you imagine if I had let the two of you pine any longer than you did?
ZI: this is so gay and cute
MADENA: Justine where do u find ur swimsuits and Steph u look gorgeous end me please
JUSTINE: blush.png
JUSTINE: shes blushing ths is so cute
JUSTINE: Also i just got them at waly worl
MADENA: bless ur photogenic souls for telling me
CAMILLA: U do it for he
NARLA: And you would do it, again.
CAMILLA: You do it for she and now u say
NARLA: You do it for he.
HUGHES: One day is all I ask
HUGHES: Sometimes I forget that the moment Euthymia left the house for college, she changed from a subtle gay to a vindictive gay.
MADENA: God my sister is so fucking iconic mom was like “i dont support that in my house” AS THOUGH I DONT EXIST IN THE BOUNDARIES OF THE HOME BUT ANYWAY Euthymia shruges and is like “im not in your house so lmao watch this” AND KISSES AGATHA RIGHT IN F R O N T OF HER hhfkrk
ZI: im lauhing
HUGHES: Shes not at her mom’s house rn she came to bring something to me for Mads and she’s sporting an undercut and a lot of lgbt pride pins AND a lot of really clever enamel pins too i envy her
HUGHES: She??? Also has??? A scar on her eyebrow???
HUGHES: I ASKED WHY AND SHE SAID “YOU SHOULD SEE THE OTHER GUY”
MADENA: TELL HR TO STAY PUT IM C O M I N G I GOTTA SEE THIS
ZI: send a pic when u get there i wanna see
EUTHYMIA: inspiring my lgacy to be vindictive gays lmao
AGATHA: im lauhfing Zi just texted me and told me that Hughes called you a vindictive gay
EUTHYMIA: im so happy that im able to be ths way
EUTHYMIA: but i want them to wait until they’re super safe until they even think about following the near vicinity of my footsteps
AGATHA: you aren’t even super safe but i get wht ur sayin
AGATHA: I love you, Euthymia Nadine.
EUTHYMIA: I love you, too, Alaris
AGATHA: oooh my last name hot
EUTHYMIA: end it
HUGHES: That freshman is going to get in a fight this afternoon
MADENA: ?
HUGHES: sorry the thought just came to me
MADENA: Hughes,,,
HUGHES: I was right,,,,,,what the fc
ZI: oh thats like when Madena said something about ancient greec andt he teacher was like “nuh uh” but when he searched it up it was true
ZI: but Madena didnt know how they got it right it just randomyl popped up in their mind
CAMILLA: Physics can suck my asshole
HUGHES: Oh?
MADENA: *Hughes voice* oh, you haven’t heard?
CAMILLA: i die
HUGHES: I tutor in physics
MADENA: hes not gonna ask you to pay which is why u should
CAMILLA: I DONT CARE AS LONG AS I PASSED THESE FINALS WHATS YOUR FUCING PAYPAL
HUGHES: meet me in the PMs
MADENA: this is so fucking funny hey @Narla d o u need help with physics
NARLA: No.
MADENA: god i wish that were me
ZI: god i wish that were me
ZI: :0!
MADENA: O: twinsies
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i was tagged by @softshouyous (my mum saw me trying 2 copy nd paste ur post fck i had a heart attack kill m, she proceeded to tell not to make friends online LMAO)
how tall are you? - 5′0 // 154 cm
what color and style is your hair? - black,, browish red tjat r like in streaks (making it look like its dyed even though its noT) when its in the sun and its like?? crazy idk man but ik its not straight
what color are your eyes?- fucking black
do you wear glasses or contacts? - glasses!!!
do you wear braces? - yeahhhh its been 3 years dammit
what is your fashion style? - bad its bad,,,, lol i wear fucking blue (the blue screen kinda blue) shorts with everything?? i need a better sense of fashion lololol
when were you born?- december 26 folks u could just call me god
how old are you?- 15,, ,,
do you have any siblings? - an older brother just like falen
what school/college do you go to? - what the fuck shit kinda qni is this
what kind of student are you? - um. .... i always do my homework the day its due and study on the test day itself so im pretty great tahnks
what are your favorite subjects? - biology and pe (wakes me up i love pE)
what are your favorite shows? - theres voltron,, haikyuu!!, hmm m, daiya?? recently got back into that,, bnha at the moment ya. .. .....
what are your favorite movies? - i don’t really watch movies LOL (this is falen’s answer but im keeping it bc relatavke)
what are your favorite books? - something that had to with the sun i dont remember the title its been so long since i pciked up a book
what are your favorite past times? - staying at home pplaying my dum idol games and watching anime great lfie
do you have any regrets? - not being a better friend
what is your dream job? - dying
would you like to get married? where? - id like 2 get married 2 lance in space
i’m leaving this question out because it was lame and creating my own. do you think chester the rat terrier is the cutest and greatest dog on the planet? - ??? same falen lmao th eufkc is this
do you want kids? how many? - i already have so many
do you like shopping? - i guess?? i never do it though no friends no time
how many countries have you visited? - um. ... hm. .. many?? let me make a list so i can count
malaysia (kota kinabalu)
australia (perth, melbourne though i dont rmb that)
uk (london, manchester, liverpool, york, uhh, edinburgh??)
indonesia (bali!!)
thailand (phuket)
hong kong!! (thats in china i think lol even i dont know)
japan (hokkaido, tokyo i gotta go back i was young when i went)
that shld b all but knowing my memory i may have left one or two out tho i doubt that
what was your scariest dream? - had to do with roaches lmao
do you have any enemies? - no real enemies but there was a girl and idk if she still thinks of me as her enemy (god i hope not) but she said i was her love rival (p sure shes dating the girl she thought i liked or smth) go her
do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? - i have lance
put your phone on shuffle. without skipping post the first 15 songs that play
okay but let me finish this song first,, the songs will either b in japanese or english be warned (im gonna put a link to every song bc why not)
1. ok so first we have a cover of happy synthersizer by aho no sakata and some other utaite i dont hear much of anymore
2. fuck the next one is a lil embarrassing but yolo LMAO its unpredictable by 5sos (its old so it probably sounds bad but it sounds okay 2 me but i just might b deaf)
3. ok this is a good one all right its reason living by SCREEN mode (its the bsd opening for the 2nd season heh)
4. goddamn everything’s fuckign japanese a cover of tokyo summer session by the utaities amatsuki and 96neko
5. its in english this time thank god the weigh down by the amity affliction my music taste is all over the damn place
6. you only live once, the yoi ed lmao
7. nightmare by the amity affliction (again)
8. st. patrick by pvris
9. alone by (??) marshmello its not exactly..
10. death of a strawberry by dance gavin dance i LOVE this one ok
11. heartache on the big screen by 5sos
12. dirty laundry by all time low gooD SHIT i sWEAR
13. oh no by bring me the horizon
14. under the stars by secret eyes i reALLY REALLY LIKE THIS ONE
15. welcome to war by aliens ate my setlist
taggingggg: nobody god this took me forever i loveed it regardless!!! thaknu flne time to SLEEP
edit: it wouldnt fukcing post ytd so im posting it now and i do not have 2 sleep anymoe bc im awaek and kicking (lena’s beefy ass)
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Do all of them ! Blease !!! I Stan u so hard I need the insider deets!!!!!
now THATS what i like to hear :))
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
asfgsfdg im only listening to after laughter rn
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
@gaysun but thats happening so idk. come to alberta tristan
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
theres not a single book in this room and im not leaving to go look for one
4: What do you think about most?
sfgafdgasfg idk myself, probably
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
”he drank ur orange juice the fuck” - you
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
just my underwear
7: What’s your strangest talent?
im gay
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
girls are good boys are bad (noah fence i love u)
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
yes actually :’)
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
man idk
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
FUCKIGN black BEETLES
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
i dont think so? kleenex?
13: What’s your religion?
man idk !!!!
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
walking to work or looking for dogs
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
in front im a vain bxtch
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
patd.............................................
17: What was the last lie you told?
i know i lied to my mom the other day but i told the truth five minutes later and i dont know what i lied abt
18: Do you believe in karma?
no lol
19: What does your URL mean?
bella swan is a big ass lesbian
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
dude i dont fucking KNOW who am i!!!!!!
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
kristen stewart.. . hayley williams..... shrugs
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
no i dont want any BUGS crawlin around in there.there was an episode of greys anatomy when that happened
23: How do you vent your anger?
i yell to my mom tbh
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
MUGS
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
video chatting is so fun
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
NO LOL
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
sound i hate: paper towels
sound i love: rain i guess
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
what IF I fail at life completely wow
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
YES AND YES
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
right, my computer. left, my cup!
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
man idk AIR??????
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
high school
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
CANADIAN west coast
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
hmmmm bad question\
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
AUGHFGKDF not to be dramatic but there isnt one
36: Define Art.
dude i dont know. why is this so fake deep
37: Do you believe in luck?
NO !!!!!
38: What’s the weather like right now?
its dark out and im inside!!! i dont know!! i think its warm
39: What time is it?
12:25am :O
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
yes! and no
41: What was the last book you read?
eclipse..................sdfghsdghsdfgsfg
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
..............................who does......
43: Do you have any nicknames?
shy!!!!!!!!!!!
44: What was the last film you saw?
dgsfsdfg new moon!!!!!!
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
i dont know!!!!!!!!! i injure myself a lot im clumsy
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
no!!!!!!!!!!! let them be free.
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
twilight, dragon quest 8, paramores new album,.
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
TAKE A WILD FUCKign GUESS
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
YES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it was awful
50: Do you believe in magic?
.......................no
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
YES LOL
52: What is your astrological sign?
im a libra :^)
53: Do you save money or spend it?
i cant fuckign save money for shit
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
a grande coconut cold brew coffee with extra coconut milk :O
55: Love or lust?
what dpes this mean.
56: In a relationship?
no!
57: How many relationships have you had?
3
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
fun fact i have a really really short tongue
59: Where were you yesterday?
went to the bank in the city and the MALL and ate a sandwich
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
no :(:(:(
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
SOCKS ARE GARBAGE
62: What’s your favourite animal?
CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and sheep and giraffes. mostly cats
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
fgkdfgosfkg u think i have a secret weapon???????? bxtch i dont even like me!!!!
64: Where is your best friend?
i texted her and asked her one sec. ok she replied “im in my bed!!!!!”
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
@gaysun @gaysun @hurricance @hurricance @popcornlesbians :)
66: What is your heritage?
idk! im ukrainian and french
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
playing dragon quest and listening to @quidditchlesbian s wild stories
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
this is so werid asgafdgadsf
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
duh
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
i mean probably. im kind of annoying tho
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
sfgadfgadsf save the dog im not HEARTLESS my job gives me no hours anyways lol
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
a) probably bc i overshare b) probably just pet my cats c) sort of?
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
TRUST
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
..................someBODY
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
2980
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
trust and communication also i think attraction is important tbh
77: How can I win your heart?
be a cute girl and be nice to me. maybe have a cute animal or smth
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
MMMMMMMMMM ABLEISM
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
gay
80: What size shoes do you wear?
5? 6?
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
”gay bxtch”
82: What is your favourite word?
LESBIAN
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
i wish i was on my phone id add the yellow heart emoji
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
”wow id die for u”
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
earlier i was listening to live in chicago
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
yellow adn PINK
87: What is your current desktop picture?
its a pic of bella swan
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
theoretically like donald trump but probably my abuser :)
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
bxtch u could ask me literally anything and id tell u. literally aything
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
go back to sleep. plot twist im actually just having a sleep paralysis episode
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
the vegetables are mushrooms and ALSO iwanna teleport or fly
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
the other morning i had a really relaxing breakfast at tim hortons i just listened to music and ate my bagel. it was nice
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
JSDFKJSFG u think i can choose? ur FUNNY!!
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
oh,,.. .my fucign god. tjis is such a loaded question,. HAYLEY WILLIAMS
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
JENNA (or nyc but shes not there rn so probably just wherever she is!)
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
i think my bio dad was in jail once. maybe
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
no ew throwing up is a huge fear of mine
98: Ever been on a plane?
yep i love planes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
“im gay”
THANKS TRISTAN
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today was such a bad day and im also out of my meds so everything feels extremely bad??? lemme list everything under a cut holy shit i need to get this out of my chest (side note this is long but please for the love of god someone love me and help me im dying inside)
ok first of all dont judge me i have severe depression okay even small things make me feel like shite even if i have my meds (also no i cant jsut get more of them from the shop i need my mom to do it bc i have misused them in the past)
first of all i only slept for an hour because i felt so bad i couldnt sleep
then i had a really really shitty russian exam which i just completely fucked up and i p much wanted to cry
my best friend and i had a fight for literally no reason she was suddenly treating me like shit and when i called her out on it she flipped out??? and when i asked her whatever the hell i did she said i didnt do anything i was just shit
okay side point the cafe food today was really good i liked that lets have something positive here but also damn its not positive bc i need to lose weight and i shouldnt eat that much
so then my finnish teacher decided it would be great to read a poem of mine that sucked to the entire school??? she thought its great but honestly everyone else hated it can i just d ie it was so old i didnt even remember i wrote it
at this point of the day i physically felt like dying, i think i had a fever and my eyes were constantly drooping and i couldnt focus on anything
i had to listen to the most obnoxious person i have ever had the honor to know for pretty much the whole day and i hate him so much?? hes such a dickhead but he gets out of trouble because hes “funny” but in reality hes just a huge dickhead who has gotten everywhere with his looks and singing voice
and also my english teacher is a dickhead lets mention this here im not even going into the subject because i couldnt stop then but lets just say everyone else loves him but honestly he favours two students extremely and he hates me and told me im plagiarizing when i was not and he also gives me directions what to do in courses and then fails me because i followed them and he also doesnt allow me to be sick and im supposed to be able to make a 10 minute vlog about art with a proper video camera when im almost dying and also poor
so then i was like bro imma eat an apple for lunch bc i happened to own an apple: turns out im slightly allergic to apple and it made my stomach turn upside down
then i tried getting my mind off stuff by playing overwatch but i lost every game as badly as you can lose in that game and everyone told me i suck even though im actually ??? pretty good??? its jsut tHAT I WAS A FUCKIGN MERCY AND I CANT DO SHIT IF PEOPLE DECIDE THERE SHOULD BE NO TANKS EVEN THOUGH I TELL THEM WE NEED A TANK AND THEN THEY FLY OFF WITH THEIR PHARAOH SHIT AND RUN OFF AS GENJI AND SHIT AND LEAVE ME TO DIE WHILE THEY BATTLE AWAY FROM THE POINT????? WHAT THE FUCKKKK
so basically i got owned by a bunch of 12 year olds from what i gathered of their voices they were really fucking young and i have never been more humiliated in that game
then i had musical practice (where i also had to listen to the dickhead guy) and i forgot to take a sweater with me and i almost froze with my fever and the cold ass air in the theatre (its a building carved inside a huge boulder so.. cold)
i also forgot my lines and broke my kaleidoscope that i needed in the play
then i found out the guy who i thought has a crush on me has apparently slept with half of the population or something but also im not sure about this now bc it was my best friend who said that and she was still angry at me
but she also told me that at least i can have a chance finally because he fucks everyone
and i just broke down
then i tried to make food but i burned most of it
then i tried to play overwatch again and the same thing happened as before
and now im on the verge of tears and im honestly so fucking lonely i jsut want someone to fucking love me but i dont even have a shoulder to cry on now that my best friend is mad at me for no fucking reason and this was a bad bad day and i want to die but i cant because i would probably be haunted even in my afterlife for not doing anything and also my grave would have the wrong name and i would be buried in a dress and i just honestly want to have a happy life but i cant i cant even remember the time when i wasnt depressed because i was diagnosed with severe fucking depression when i was around 8 years old and i have never felt happy in my whole fucking life
also now i remember my mom told me today again how much of a disappointment i am and nobody from my family is coming to see me in the musical
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