#Voluptas Noctis Aeternae | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

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Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.24}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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"Too many people have been insinuating things like that recently. You know… about you and me. Us."

"Ah." Snape's voice dropped down an octave, and the deep frown on his falling features was suddenly accompanied by a tinge of rising bitterness in his tone, a shadow of sincere sadness in his eyes. Then it was all apathy again before the fleeting emotions could be grasped. "I can see why that thought would be repelling to you."

And for once, encouraged by the ghosts of emotions she had seen on his face, Robin let her heart speak instead of her mind. "Actually, it just makes me wish quite desperately that it was true."

Snape froze in his every movement in an instant, breaking the rhythm of their saunter for but a single second before moving on just like before, without as much as a word in question or comment. Robin's heart however was moving all the more, it pounded furiously against her ribcage as if trying to escape from the prison of her flesh. Oh bloody hell, what had she done?! There was no use in denying it now. He was brilliant; of course he knew exactly what she had meant by that statement. But why, WHY on earth wasn't he saying anything in return? The wildfire was burning her up with every second they walked along the shore side by side, and it was killing her softly with every one of those seconds they spent in silence. Oh no no no… she had absolutely ruined everything, she had-...

Her thoughts came to a sudden halt when his fingers brushed against the back of her hand, oh so gently while yet causing liquid electricity to surge up her arm, and when she moved her hand closer to his in return, he wrapped his fingers around hers entirely and intertwined them at long last. In the matter of only a second, Robin's every word and thought came to a sudden and deafening stillstand, and her ability to function was gone with a start. Without word, without thought, they just kept walking on in calm silence, hand in hand as tightly as comfort allowed. Hours or minutes or seconds passed, and the world was gone beyond them. Only when they were on their way back to the castle, thought and reason slowly became a possibility once more.

And with the ability of thought, a million questions tumbled into Robin's mind at once, a subtle but lingering rush of panic. But instead of getting lost in what she didn't know now, she found strength in the comfort of his lingering touch to focus on what she did know for once.

One. She had directly and undoubtedly admitted that she wanted them to be more than they were now. That she wanted them to be a them in the first place, together, in every sense of the word.

Two. He had thought that the idea of being with him would be repelling to her, and then he had been sincerely surprised to hear that the very opposite was the case. The thought that she might be opposed to the idea of them together had brought a bitter sadness to his face, while now however he looked rather torn between excitement, nervousness, and the wish to cover up for either.

Three. He had taken her hand, in a way that neither of them had ever done before. Without a reason to keep holding on other than the simple pleasure of it, fingers woven together instead of a mere handshake kind of thing. Intimate, almost. Emotionally connotated without a doubt.

And lastly, four. She had basically just made the biggest emotional declaration in the history of their relationship, and he was still here. Entering the courtyard by her side, with no present intention of going anywhere else. He wasn't running from whatever was happening. Not from her, not again.

So, what did any and all of this mean? Did he know what it meant, what was happening? She might not be able to answer the questions that spooked around her head, but one thing she could do for sure. Opening her eyes at long last. And what she saw now, had to see with her eyes wide open, was the last piece falling into place for the wildfire to consume her entirely. And she saw that she wasn't the only one burning.

They obviously just had taken a turn in their relationship, and while they still stood at the beginning of what that meant, they were on this path together now. Burning, together. Upon that realization, Robin thought her heart stopped beating once and for all, while adrenaline like sweet poison threatened to make her entire body quiver. This was a beginning, not and end. She couldn't remember ever feeling something quite as intense as this, and it was only just beginning indeed. The return of her heartbeat brought the promise of more.

They were back in the arcades when Robin took notice of the world beyond her mind again, stopping in front of the very arch they had shared in the year prior. Without a second of hesitation they both took their established places next to each other, sitting comfortably squeezed together, but more than gladly so on her end at least. Still, the comfortable silence that surrounded them lingered on for another moment, a moment where Robin simply let the overwhelming excitement consume her while yet trying to keep the nervousness at bay.

She hadn't terribly misunderstood all of this now, had she? Snape wasn't delusional enough to misunderstand her words, and he wasn't cruel enough to play with her emotions. He wouldn't do that. Not with her. She took a deep breath, and inevitably noticed that it trembled as much as her entire body wanted to. Good gods, were emotions always this complicated? No, this wasn't complicated at all, she was certain that she had understood matters correctly. And foremost she was certain that she understood Snape. He wouldn't still be here if he didn't feel even remotely the same as her. Not like this.

"Did you actually mean what you said?" His quiet question suddenly broke the silence, and set loose another explosion of pure energy in Robin's heart with its smooth depth alone. "About wishing that you and I…" He didn't speak on despite the calmness of the statement, and rather looked ahead into the night instead of turning to look at Robin. But at the same time, he kept holding onto her hand more tightly than ever. As if he was doubting reality as much as she had been, reluctant to believe that suddenly this was real, that they were really here at long last.

"Obviously." Robin replied with a warm smile, and a certainty came with her words that washed away even more of her fears. "You know me far better than to doubt that."

"I do indeed." He said quietly, while his gaze however stayed forcefully fixed on the distant hills. "But I never allowed myself to even imagine that you would want this with someone like me. Would want more… with me."

His words snapped something in Robin's mind, bringing forth the irresistible urge to act, to prove to him right in this instant just how much she wanted this indeed. For once in an eternity, she didn't suppress the impulsiveness of her roaring emotions, but simply surrendered to them with open arms. In the matter of a second she was sitting up on her knees, her face evenly leveled with his own, which only left them so close together that he couldn't avoid her anymore. He, too, finally needed to open his eyes to the truth in front of him. He needed to look, and she would make him see.

"I want everything with you, Severus. Everything about you." Her simple words of unadorned yet utmost truth, his name on her lips were what finally made him succumb to her will, and he looked at her, looked at her in that way that made the space between them shrink and the air catch in her throat. And still, Robin's fingers moved to brush the wisps of black that had caught in his lashes back to where they belonged, and she smiled when he, too, for once, unlearned to breathe. "When I look at you, I see my own everything."

Her hand lingered where it was, her fingertips tracing his delicate skin on their own account, but her eyes were held captive by his own that seemed so impossibly dark from up close, from so terribly close… His breath fanned gently against her skin, hot and unsteady quite like her own, and Robin's eyes fluttered shut when she finally couldn't bear the tension anymore that drew them together like a moth to the flame. Her own heartbeat in her ears was drowning out any and every sound, every thought that wasn't him, wasn't now, and she counted them on and on, in one, two, three… then she leaned in through the minimal space remaining and gently pressed her lips to his.

She felt him freezing under her touch almost instantly, not moving, not breathing, but neither pulling back. So she stayed as she was, in a crazy ambivalence of violent adrenaline forcing her spirits to heights beyond her body, and an uproaring voice in her head that screamed 'what the hell am I doing'. He wasn't kissing her back, he wasn't breathing, he wasn't doing anything to be exact. And as sweet as the adrenaline's poisoning of her senses was, it was the voice in her head that finally made her pull back, made her open her eyes to find his still closed. Her breathing hitched, and a shudder ran down her back. Oh god oh god oh god… He opened his eyes at the sound, still so close, still looking at her with this unfathomable depth. Oh bloody hell… she didn't know what she was doing, and he probably could tell. But when his warm hand settled on the curve of her waist, fingers digging into her hip as he pulled her closer, her breath hitched once more, every heartbeat an allconsuming thunder, and a broken second later her lips were back on his without the previous reluctance. Without internal monologues, and this time, he did everything but freeze in return.

Robin's body knew perfectly well what to do now where her mind for once did not, and when their lips started moving to only the laws of sheer overwhelming ecstasy, every last thought of concern shattered in redundancy anyway. This was absolutely intoxicating; like drowning in an ocean of all there was to life.

They did let go of each other's hand now, anything to get closer, to be closer, and when his arm wrapped around her waist and hers around his shoulders, Robin was sure to feel every single cell in her body coming alive, to feel absolutely everything at once. His sweet lips, so soft, moving in such growing fire with her own, hot breath on her skin, racing hearts and firm grasps turned desperate clawing. A distant echo of the fruit punch served at the ball, and something far more heady in taste. Silent gasps and moans that ran as a liquid heat right to her core, stoked by the impossible warmth of his body pressed flush against her own. Electric tingles at the bottom of her spine. After years of dreaming about this moment, Robin found that nothing could compare to reality for once. It truly was a pastime for eternity.

Perhaps that is why it felt like no time had passed at all when the low chime of the clock that towered high above the courtyard broke them apart, when it rang not twelve, but half past. The sound registered somewhere in the back of Robin's mind at first, barely even reaching her consciousness, but it kept nagging at her to put sense to it, and after a few slow seconds there was a small voice rising in her mind again at last. She was supposed to meet her friends in the entrance hall at half past, to… oh dear, it wasn't just a new year by now, it was a new decade as well! They had missed the turn of years because… oh bloody hell, he was actually kissing her back! And with no less passion than she brought in herself! There was no room for any possible misunderstanding left now… He did feel exactly the same as her.

Robin broke the kiss with a small gasp, pulling back only far enough to rest her forehead against his while her mind slowly cleared of the blissful haze. Her chest was heaving as she tried to catch her breath, they both were, but the more the reality of the situation sunk in, the more she couldn't help grinning like a fool. She really was just that, a fool so hopelessly in love that she didn't even bother justifying it to herself. The walls that had hidden her deepest emotions from him were shattered, vanished, gone… she didn't need to hide anymore, and she could have cried in joy over that fact alone. But she didn't. She smiled, brighter than the moon and stars, because it was the only thing she found herself capable of.

"Happy new year…" She finally got out quite breathlessly, laughing almost at the same time at her ridiculous remark, and his hold on her tightened in return. If possible at all, it made her smile even brighter.

"'Happy' is a bit of an understatement, wouldn't you say?" He asked in return, more hoarsely than should be allowed, but undoubtedly with the sound of a smile that finally made Robin lean back enough to look at him. And here he was, smiling indeed, looking a little helpless in the unusual extent of the extraordinary gesture and showing it more in his eyes than the rest of his face, but it was by far enough to make her heart soar and bring forth the urge to continue right where the clock's chime had interrupted. But they were still in a public place out here, prone to be seen now that the ball was over and the guests were leaving, and she was also later by the second to meet her friends. As tempting as it was, this wasn't the time or place to let herself be drawn into their own world of raw emotion again.

"Happy certainly is a place for us to start." She said instead, with a smile that didn't even try to hide any of the emotions running through her in a whirlwind. "That is if you want-..."

"Yes."

"You don't even know what I was going to say!" She protested in a laugh, and the bright spark that flamed up somewhere deep in the blackness of his eyes in return made it even more difficult to not just forsake the outside world again. It would be such a gain… but a short-lived one, if they got kicked out of Hogwarts in return.

"Does it matter when you will let me have everything with you anyway?" He replied easily, in that tone that made the statement sound as if it was the most obvious truth the world had to offer, and yet in a way that turned Robin's insides into a mess of liquid heat and tingles. "And I want everything about you indeed. In every way possible."

"I'm all yours for the taking. And keeping." She smiled with a small shrug, while her heart was dancing in joy and her head screamed in excitement over the reality of this insanity. "But I need you to be mine in return, you know… Entirely, all of you."

"I can live with that." His easy tone was accompanied by a not-smirk now, but when Robin couldn't help grinning in return, it quickly grew into a real and honest smile that made her heart skip a beat. Not only because it was a true joy to behold, but because she knew that she was the reason for it. She was making him happy enough to smile, for heaven's sake! There weren't enough words in existence to say as much as that single smile did by itself.

Robin didn't exactly know how it happened, but her lips were back on his not even a second later, bringing forth a new crashing wave of overwhelming joy to roll over her and let her mind shatter at the cutting edge of reality once more. Her hand moved to his neck on its own account, gentle fingers entangling in the rivers of black while her whole body curved into his as far as their awkward positions allowed. The stinging pain in her knees, the cold of winter, the aching of her lungs that were desperate for air… it ceased to exist in the heat of the moment. As did time and space, until the creaking of the front gates startled both Robin and Snape out of it and effectively caused either to fall back into the columns behind them, a good distance apart. Mere seconds later, guests came walking out into the courtyard and into their view.

"Bloody hell, that was…" Robin breathed, but she didn't know how to end the sentence appropriately without doing the matter injustice.

"Entirely intoxicating?" Snape offered after a second of silence, while making a vain attempt to straighten out his robes and hair. It still looked messy, but luckily more like a wind-caused mess than a Robin-caused one.

"Yes. That. And more." She sighed, and finally started scrambling out of the arch and onto her aching legs that were wobbly for more than one reason now. Five past twelve thirty already. "Oh fuck… I'm late."

"For?" He raised an eyebrow at her while following the impulse and getting back onto his feet as well, even though a lot more gracefully.

"Meeting my friends in the entrance hall. Stupidly enough, I even was the one who suggested that we should wish each other a happy new year before they head back to the common rooms." She groaned under her breath, then went to straighten her dress as well even though it was a rather hopeless endeavour. "But I guess with the guests leaving one by one now, it wouldn't be a good idea for us to stay out here anyway. Something tells me that when Dumbledore said we are to keep our ties behind closed doors, he had rather envisioned ties of the recent kind anyway."

"He likely did; the old man is a meddlesome fool more than any other. But it would indeed be in both our best interest if we weren't caught in such a compromising situation." Snape replied, but still placed a warm hand on the small of her back as they started making their way through the arcades and towards the entrance hall. "For now, no one can know of what is between you and me."

"Obviously not. They never could in the past either." Robin scoffed, but only because it was a thing that had been settled and agreed on from the start. "I had and have no intention to discuss my private matters with anyone but you, and seeing as I have never done so before either, it really is nothing new to me."

"I was more concerned about myself, to be honest. Resisting you seems rather impossible for me at this point, now that I know just how utterly and divinely addictive you are."

His words brought another grin to Robin's entire face. She enjoyed being as strong a temptation for him as he was for her, that was for sure. Having this kind of power over him was nothing short of a thrill of heights previously unknown; it sent an eerie wave of raw desire through her entire being in an instant.

"Good thing we are usually perched in the darkness of the dungeons entirely by ourselves, huh?" She smirked up at him with a good dash of tease in her eyes, and she could tell immediately that her words were having much the same effect on him as his had had on her. Oh geez, even teasing was so much better now… so much more.

"Has anyone ever told you that you are truly insufferable?" He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, and Robin just had to laugh. Yes, this was the very man she loved. Perhaps, there really wasn't all that much that had changed after all.

"I believe you've told me a few times, yeah…" She shrugged with a lingering smirk, as they finally stepped through the large doors and into the lively entrance hall that was still filled with way more people than Robin had expected. "Oh for heaven's sake… At least we can pretend that we weren't quite as late as we were now. Just delayed by the crowd."

"The dunderhead gang certainly hasn't caught my eye yet." His tone was way more neutral now, as was his face when Robin looked up at him, but then again, they were surrounded by a brigade of people now, and her own expression had also fallen back into calm neutrality. His hand however stayed on her back even as they pushed their way through the crowds in search of the people they were –or rather Robin was– supposed to meet.

"Did you just call my friends 'the dunderhead gang'?" She had to snort upon his words though, quiet as they were, and quirked an eyebrow up at him in unadulterated amusement.

"Problem with that?" He quipped quietly, with a completely straight face but the most teasingly indifferent tone imaginable; Robin's jaw dropped in an instant. Oh, so this is how things were going to be now, huh? Well, to be honest, they hadn't ever been much different in the first place, and she would rather chop her own legs off than change a thing about it. Not so different after all, then… only better.

"Robin!!!" Cas' excited squeal reached her ears even before she saw the blonde mane and brightly coloured dress in the crowd. Three seconds later, she was wrapped up in a bear hug by her younger friend. "There you are!"

"Hi Cas…" Robin chuckled, and absentmindedly picked at the threads of glittery fabric that hung around her now. "Happy new year."

"Yes! Right!" She grinned as she pulled back at last. "Happy new year to you too."

While Cas stepped back and made room for the next person to come and hug her, Robin looked around with a frown once she realized that the hand on her back was gone, the space by her side empty. Where had he gone? A little stab of hurt twisted her gut, but when she suddenly found herself surrounded by the usual giant group of overly excited students, the reason for that hurt changed in an instant. He had gone so she could be with her friends; the only painful thing about that was the fact that it was necessary in the first place. At this point in time she couldn't have both, her friends and Severus, and that was the true and only tragedy about it. Robin made a mental note to thank him for being so understanding of that when she sought him out later, perhaps in the form of teasing him about his distaste for social interactions with students. He'd understand that for sure.

For the next minutes however, she was hugged by more people than she would've liked, and some of them unfortunately touched that one spot on her back that was still aching quite a bit upon contact. The area Morgan had left in pain through his touch, and probably some pieces of magic as well; she hadn't even known he was capable of that, wordless spells... But once the hugging and the new year's wishes were over, the pain reducing again and the crowds clearing up with students retreating to the common rooms and guests leaving, she was smiling along with her friends nonetheless. The excitement over tonight's events wasn't so easily hidden behind any calm facades.

"Say, where did you leave your shadow?" Gideon finally dared to ask her, after looking like he'd swallowed his tongue for the minutes prior. "Isn't it a bit… I don't know… weird, to hang around with a professor all evening?"

"He's not my professor. We work together as equals, which technically makes us colleagues in that regard. I've told you that much before." Robin replied with an expression as calmly neutral as was humanly possible in her situation. "But to answer your question, I haven't the foggiest where he is. We took a walk down to the lake to get away from people after I started feeling a bit queasy in the crowds, but I haven't seen him since we arrived back here." That, she proudly thought to herself, was very much the truth. Not the entire truth, but what's new.

"Ah, so that is why your dress is in its current state… And why you're practically glowing from the inside… Because of your walk…" Jorien mused in pointed innocence, and with a tiny smirk that had Robin glaring at her in an instant. Simon raised an eyebrow at the two of them in silent question, but nobody else picked up on the subtle implications of that statement nor the unspoken warning that had followed upon it. Just like nobody else had picked up on whatever it was that Jorien had obviously seen in Robin's carefully constructed demeanor yet again. The girl really was getting way too good at reading people…

"Earth to Robin!" Cas waved her hand in front of Robin's face to regain her attention. "I actually decided to listen to your stupid advice about being classy and all that jazz… So instead of making out in some shitty hallway, we-..."

"I honestly don't want to know the specifics! Do what you want to, but leave me out of it. I can't approve of this endeavor, so I'd rather not know about it at all."

"Yes, no, exactly that is my point! I changed my mind about the whole thing. Because you're right, and it would be stupid and pathetic and childish." Cas insisted with an almost serious face, before the smile was back in a matter of seconds. "So Jorien and I are having a girls' sleepover in our room tonight instead. With Melissa and Lisa and Joan and Meghan."

That did bring a smile to Robin's face indeed, a very much pleased one even. "That's great, Cas. I'm proud of you for making that decision, and I'm actually quite sure that you won't regret it either. Sometimes waiting really does pay off."

"Told you she'd say that." Jorien remarked quietly, and Cas rolled her eyes in return, so the former turned to Robin instead. "You know, you're welcome to join us if you want to… Even if I have a feeling that you'd rather do anything but."

"Staying up all night with six fifteen year olds? I think I'll spare myself that discomfort; I would only spoil the fun for you guys." Robin sighed, then let out a humoured huff as she crossed her arms over her chest. "But it's nice of you to alibi-invite me nonetheless. I won't get in the way of your plans tonight, don't worry."

"Thank you!" Cas squealed, again at a pitch that made the hairs in Robin's neck stand straight, even when the girl wrapped her into another hug. "You're honestly the best roommate ever. The best sister ever! Brilliant and kind and generous and thoughtful and beautiful and sexy and-..."

"Yeah yeah, just… don't set the place on fire, alright?" Robin replied a bit awkwardly upon being given such easy compliments that probably even were somewhat heartfelt, but still too shallow to affect her in any other way than causing her embarrassed discomfort.

"We won't wreak havoc, I promise." Jorien said in all sincerity, and that was probably the only and best reassurance Robin would get. "And nobody touches your stuff, just like always."

"Good." Robin sighed, then offered them a smile. "Perhaps we should say goodnight now nonetheless. It's ten to one, and I believe one o'clock is tonight's curfew. I wouldn't want any of you guys to be caught out of bed beyond that."

"Wait a second…" Cas frowned all of a sudden, while the wheels in her head were obviously turning. "Where will you be staying tonight, since we're obviously evicting you?"

"That, my friend, is for Robin to know and for us to eternally wonder about." Jorien replied with a perfect smile before Robin could, and wrapped an arm around her blonde friend's shoulder. "C'mon now, say goodnight to your Prince Charming so we can get going."

While the group said their goodnights in general then, with hugs and kisses and too many words, Robin couldn't help wondering about Jorien. The girl really was a riddle sometimes, but she obviously had understood the lesson learned during breakfast two weeks ago. Really, Robin couldn't blame her for seeing what she herself deemed obvious as well, could she? It was only good that she had understood that she was to keep such knowledge to herself from now on. Still, Robin couldn't help feeling proud of both girls tonight. The more they were growing up, the more she could really be friends with them. Perhaps, one day, they would be at a point where it didn't matter anymore that they weren't the same age. Where it didn't matter who Robin's heart belonged to for the ages yet to come.

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

Text

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.28}

*Severus Snape x OC*

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5.7k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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It was the middle of March when a simple trip to Hogsmeade turned into the beginning of the very end.

Robin had let Cas and Jorien talk her into coming along to town this Hogsmeade Saturday, and she had used the opportunity to sell another batch of rare ingredients in the small dingy shop she had actually come to appreciate for just that at this point. After dropping the girls off at Honeydukes, she'd gone on to the potions shop by herself, scared the shop owner beyond reason yet again just for her own amusement, and left a little while later with an even larger sum of galleons in her bag than the previous time she had been there. Really, it was incredible for just how much some of the stuff she possessed sold even around here. Thus, content and smiling to herself for the well accomplished mission, she made her slow way back from the shady part of the village to where she was supposed to meet the girls on high street in twenty minutes. Hopefully time would pass quickly… it was terribly cold outside, even for March, and Robin couldn't wait for a nice hot cup of coffee in whatever cafe the girls would surely drag her into next.

When she crossed from one mud covered street into an even narrower alley of much the same sodden ground, her smile was wiped off her face however, in the very instant a repelling spell hit her square in the chest and sent her flying backwards into the half frozen dirt of the larger road before she even had the time to register what was happening to her. Suddenly void of every air in her lungs, Robin gasped, then yelped when her back hit the hard ground and unruly stone, sending a hot searing pain up her spine that made her eyes water. Adrenaline rushed into her veins, as flooring as it was exhilarating, and while her mind was spinning as it tried to grasp for a sense of what was happening, she already had her wand in her hand only for it to be knocked straight out of there again by an Expelliarmus spoken by a very much familiar voice. Oh no…

"A path of shadows isn't a good place for my little songbird to dwell in… It isn't safe out here. The cats might come to prey on you." Damion Morgan sighed exaggeratedly, while he picked Robin's wand off the ground before she ever had the chance to reach for it. "Get up now dear, before you become as sodden as the ground."

Robin's mind spun in hazy circles of panic as she scrambled to her feet without taking her eyes off the man in front of her. Really, it was her bad luck that it was his turn to supervise this particular Hogsmeade weekend. And away from the school, away from anyone who would witness the incident, she was as good as doomed alone with him in this bloody back alley. For a second, her mind sped through her options. Apparating away? No, not without her wand. Wandless magic, perhaps? In the matter of a few seconds she tried every defensive spell she knew she could do without her wand, running a string of words through her mind with as much focus as she could fathom, but they all proved ineffective against the smug man in front of her. Fuck… he certainly wouldn't make it as easy for her as the last few times, he had already shown her glimpses of that back on new year's. Perhaps he wasn't quite as untalented in the dark arts as she had always tried to convince herself of.

"You needn't try, darling. After the little stunt you pulled on me on the night of the welcoming feast, I have seen to it that my own resistance to your admirable spellwork was fit to counter. And after years of studying you in my class, I know just what spells you have up your sleeve." He told her just in that moment with a disgustingly sweet smile. Dropping his arm with his wand to his side then, he took a step closer to Robin to be right in front of her now. "I had so hoped we could do this in another way. I had hoped it would never have to come this far, if only you had chosen me as I have chosen you. Now, all there is left for either of us is pain."

"Indeed." Robin replied in a breathless huff, and while she didn't understand a single thing of what he was saying with his many words, she knew that she wouldn't get a better chance than this. Without wasting any time overthinking for once, she curled her hand into a fist and punched Morgan straight in the face as strongly as she could. Magic was nice and all, but sometimes the muggle way to do things did work just as well. The blazing pain, the sting and burn that spread from her knuckles up into her entire arm in an instant was well worth it as she discovered, for Morgan dropped both Robin's wand and his own when he instinctively clutched his hands to his hurting face.

What followed then definitely followed too fast. Robin went to claw for her wand immediately, but so did Morgan with his own. Both reached theirs in a striking simultaneity, and in the very same they directed at each other their respectively chosen spells. It wasn't a matter of thought, of conscious action or strategy, but rather an adrenaline driven instinctive defense that made Robin send yet another stunning spell at Morgan. And it seemed no less instinctive for him to send a curse to her in return. Both spells hit their target, both too quick and intricate to deflect. Morgan once more landed on his behind in the offgoing alley, groaning but unfortunately still very much in consciousness. Robin on the other hand let out a bone chilling scream, then crippled into a heap on the very ground she had stood upon, ridden by such a sudden explosion of pain in every cell of her body that it replaced both sense of self and thought. She couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't move… Her wand lay only inches from her hand, but she found the distance impossible to cross, impossible to think of fighting back at all. All she could do was to keep her eyes wide open as she lay curled up on her side in repeated shivers of pain that drowned out even the cold around her, beneath her, and to watch how Morgan came approaching her once again. His wand raised and pointed at her with a sneer on his face.

"You will have to be better than that, my dear…" He sighed in a raspy voice, then finally crouched down right in front of her and almost affectionately brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "You will never succeed if you do not even try. The time has almost come, I'm afraid, and I can no longer hold it off. Neither can I resist you anymore. Oh, how I wish you just could've been mine."

All Robin could do in return was to whimper, as pathetic as it was, but she had no capacity left within her being to care about anything but the pain that was eating her up from the inside. Only in blurred lines above her in her quaking field of vision, Morgan's face twisted in as much agony as she felt, and yet he wore an expression of the utmost sympathy. Robin suddenly felt sick and terribly exposed, and she turned her face downward in a vain attempt to shield herself from the sight of him. Pressing herself into the mud and stone beneath her even if the rash pebbles cut into her skin like a million shards of cruel fate.

"I could end it right here, you know… I should end it here and in this instant." He spoke again, through a layer of sincere remorse. "But I cannot do it if you do not resist. I… I can't, Robin. Not like this. Please don't make me do it like this."

The pain in her body surged to new heights with every word he said, and she let out a strangled sob, a cry of sheer agony even, and perhaps an equal amount of fear. Every atom of her body was torn apart, stabbed with a million knives over and over again while her soul was split into a state between life and death. So much for fighting back… so much for doing anything to protect herself. There was nothing she could do now. She's had her chance, and she'd waisted it on the mildest repelling spell she knew. A bloody idiot, that she was, and nothing more. Perhaps, for that, she did deserve death after all.

No. She was better than that. Robin couldn't give in, not now, not like this, not ever. She had made a mistake by choosing the wrong spell, yes, but she had to work with the consequences now. She would not give up. Never. She couldn't do that to Snape… after all he had been through in his life, he deserved happiness that lasted longer than bloody two and a half months before the next tragedy came haunting him. So did she. They deserved better, and no bloody Damion Morgan could get in the way of that. With the most miserably shaking hand, she tried reaching for her wand, fingertips brushing against the dark wood after what seemed like eternities of pain. Do it do it do it do it do it… Her instincts begged her to finally make use of one of the thousands of horrible curses she had come across over the years, or even to just apparate away for good. But when her sight fell onto Morgan's highly expectant, almost begging expression, her reason won over the instinct. He wanted her to fight. Wanted her to try running. And she would not play this game by his rules anymore.

With another pained whine, Robin clasped her wand in her hand, holding both tightly pressed against her chest, then she rolled onto her back to look up at Morgan's twisted face above her, and even further up at the blindingly white sky. A new wave of maddening pain, she could hardly breathe. Hardly think.

"You really are quite beautiful, you know… Even now, like this." Morgan sighed sadly while his eyes traced the paths Robin's angry tears had painted on her muddied skin. "And while I look at your lovely being every morning and every night of every day, you I hardly ever get to see. I must say though that the earrings are a nice addition. Very… modern."

His words still made no sense to Robin's mind, not now, not when the pain took away most of her thoughts in the first place. But she knew that she wanted him to stop playing with her. Think, idiot, through the bloody haze of pain! She'd done it before, pushing the pain away behind the walls in her mind… just enough to make room for reason. Just to focus, just for a moment.

He expected her to fight, or to run, to act in any way they had been taught in his very own class. Therefore he must be looking out for those spells, ready to stop her, ready to attack in return. He wanted her to resist, to fight back, that much had been clear for a long while now… and if she attacked him like that indeed, she very likely wouldn't survive the backlash he had probably been preparing for months now. At least not in her current state of painforced weakness. A state she had brought upon herself when she had let him put that curse on her. A curse of the kind he could only uphold if he put his entire focus on it. Gods! That was the flaw in his actions she had been looking for.

Still very much trembling, she lifted her hand to point her wand up at the sky, then closed her eyes when Morgan started to smile at her doings. He was still waiting for her to make the move that would finally allow him to murder her after all… but she wouldn't do him that favor. She had learned long ago to follow her reason, not her fight or flight instincts. This had to work, she had to be better. For herself, for Snape, for her friends. A faint Lux Obscurius left her lips in even less than a breath as her eyes flew open again, and a broken second later she could feel the earth beneath her vibrating when black lightnings hit the ground around her like a relentless hailstorm of her own fury.

It was enough. Enough to catch Morgan by surprise, to make him lose touch with his spellwork, his focus on Robin, and when the echo of soundless thunder overtook the air around them, the curse's pain was gone from Robin's mind, pushed out of her body by enough adrenaline that forced her onto her feet in an instant. Her wand gripped tightly in her hand, she pointed it at Morgan who staggered to his feet a second later when sound returned to the world.

He tried throwing another curse at her, but Robin had no problem deflecting it even without a word now that she knew what to expect. He tried again and again, growing in desperation and anger while losing in focus and determination, which made it all the easier for Robin to counter while her body and mind slowly recovered from the horrible pain. Luckily the curse had only been on her for a mere few minutes. She was still hurting now… but more so from her hard landing on the ground and a few scratches than from any kind of magic. So far so good.

"Haven't you learned anything throughout the years?!" Morgan cried out at her after a moment, and the string of spells thrown at Robin stopped for the moment as he caught his breath. "You are supposed to fight me! I'm trying to kill you and you just stand there like it's none of your goddamn business! Defend yourself properly, for heaven's sake!!! Try at least! Please!"

"No." Robin got out more or less calmly, but she knew better than to let his talking distract her again. She had made the mistake of letting him catch her off guard once, of underestimating what he would do to her if he got the chance. She wouldn't do it a second time. Neither would she attack him though, even if she had in past times almost hoped for a situation like this. An opportunity to get rid of him. But now that it was here, right in front of her, she found that she couldn't even curse him. Leave alone kill him, like she had always thought she would want to if it came this far. But she simply couldn't bring herself to do either.

"You are just like her, you know that?!" He yelled across the short distance between them, half in laughter, half in despair. "You're too bloody perfect, too much of everything I need to live. I have never been one for irony, but you, love, you are perhaps fate's cruelest twist of bloody irony in existence!"

Robin didn't respond to that. She wouldn't have known what to say anyway, not when he clearly was having a conversation with someone that wasn't her. Not really, anyway. He was just insane; only a madman talking nonsense who was trying to kill her for fun or his own delusional reasons whenever they met outside of class. That was all there was to it, all there could to be. Deep down however, Robin was starting to doubt just that more and more. He didn't seem insane… only caught up in a different reality than her. She was merely clinging onto her version of things for her own good at this point, and she would continue to do so until there was a more reasonable explanation. But for now, she stayed silent either way.

"You know that I will not stop trying, don't you? I cannot stop!" Morgan went on instead, loudly and unbothered in his desperation as if they weren't still in the middle of Hogsmeade. "And unless you kill me first, there is nothing you can do to change your fate!"

The loud banging of a wooden door to Robin's left suddenly caught both her and Morgan's attention then, as it flew open harshly before a bulky barrel of a man came stomping out with a deep frown on his face. Must be the backdoor to one of the taverns, Robin remembered just then. A truly lucky coincidence.

"What's all that shouting and yelling about now again?! Y'all be scaring my customers away!" The burly man bellowed in an instant, and his small angry eyes scanned Robin at first, then Morgan, and finally both their battered and dirty appearances. His anger turned into weariness in an instant, and he addressed Robin with an almost reluctant gaze and a motion towards Morgan. "Need any help dealing with that fellow?"

"Thank you…" Robin replied with a polite but very much feigned smile, then didn't even take her eyes off the barman while she sent a silent Stupefy at the still distracted Morgan, who registered her sudden attack only way too late. Out of the corner of her eye, Robin saw how the professor was thrown back and down the road by the spell, then stayed lying on the ground in a motionless heap. Truly unconscious, at long last. And yet, Robin's eyes did not once leave the flabbergasted bar owner who stared at her in return as she went on with her statement after a breath. "But I believe I am just fine."

"I, uh… Sorry, for… for interrupting." The man finally stammered out after a moment of taking in Robin's perfectly feigned calm and Morgan's unconscious body. "I'm just… gonna get back to my bar and leave you to your own business."

"Actually," Robin was quick to stop him from vanishing through the door, as she took a determined step towards him, "I would very much appreciate it if I could shortcut to high street through your… establishment."

… … …

Ten minutes later, Robin had almost reached the shop where she was supposed to meet Cas and Jorien. She'd gotten rid of the mud and water that had clung onto her in chunks before setting foot onto high street, which then had left her only with messy hair, a bleeding scratch over her eyebrow and too many thoughts yet to be dealt with. A look into one of the shop windows confirmed that she still looked quite as terrible as she felt; cold, confused, exhausted and anxious enough to burst. Putting her hair up into a bun and a stasis charm onto the scratch to provisionally keep it from bleeding did a good enough job at fixing the outside flaws, but her mind remained troubled as it could be when she finally went to seek out the girls. She was 10 minutes late anyway, no need to let them wait even longer than that.

But even when she slowly approached their meeting spot, she couldn't quite move past what had just happened. Sure, Morgan had hurt her before, had said things along the same lines of her belonging to him, but this just surpassed it all. She didn't doubt that he truly wanted to kill her, even if her refusal to fight back seemed to have hindered him in that today. He certainly wouldn't allow himself to make such a mistake another time, wouldn't hold back nor let his twisted emotions overcome him. His intention was more than clear at this point; his reasons were not. Because as much as Robin wanted to blame it all on insanity, the things he'd said and done, the sincere desperation and agony displayed on his face when he had begged her to fight back just didn't add up anymore. There was a reason to the things he did, a very much sane one, but it was yet veiled in darkness. He said he would try to end her again… So she would have to find out what the hell was going on before then. Why he had said those weird things that still kept nagging at her mind in the strangest way, ringing some distant bells she couldn't quite put her finger to. Gods, she felt exhausted enough for her hands to shake even beyond the cold… it was a miracle that her legs hadn't given out yet.

"Finally you grace us with your presence, Robin!!! Jorien and I have been freezing to death out here for the last ten minutes!" Cas' relieved and reproachful voice pulled Robin out of her thoughts, but it also made her jump in an instant. Visibly, for once. Great…

"Are you alright?" Jorien asked immediately with a big frown on her face, just when Robin came to stand in front of them. "You look-… There's really no nice way to say it. Tired and battered is the mildest one, probably."

"Oh, you know me… always running into one thing or another." She replied with a sigh and a half smile that was more feigned than sincere. "But yeah, I'm quite exhausted, and way too cold. I'm sorry I made you wait, I was held up and couldn't get away from the situation for the longest time."

"It's fine…" Cas sighed as well, a lot milder in her expression already. "We were late anyway, so we really only waited a couple minutes out here."

That finally brought a sincere smile to Robin's lips, even if a small one. Of course they'd been late as well… they always were. Well, thank Morgan for holding her up long enough to spare her the waiting time. Robin snorted at her own thought, and couldn't quite understand why almost dying was suddenly so amusing. Then again, Snape had always been saying that her humour could be quite morbid at times. He was right, as always. Gods, she just wanted to be back with him already, wrapped up in a tight hug, telling him all about what happened… but he was still stuck with the dunderheads who had earned themselves detention this week, and wouldn't be free until after dinnertime. Which was one of the main reasons why Robin had agreed to go to Hogsmeade today in the first place.

"If you're exhausted, we perhaps better skip the next part of our grandiose plans for the day…" Jorien said, thereby regaining Robin's attention in time for her to see the sheer disappointment on both girls' faces. "It probably was a stupid idea anyway. Let's just go to a cafe instead."

"No, it's alright! Don't worry about me." Robin replied in an instant, when her inability to bear seeing the girls sad got the better of her. Damn her empathy, a cozy cafe sounded nice right now… and whatever plans they had made surely wouldn't be nearly as relaxing. But as much as she annoyed herself by doing so, she couldn't help putting them and their happiness first. "We can do whatever you guys originally planned. It's fine!"

The smiles were back on their faces in an instant, as was the excitement and mischief, and while Robin didn't know what she had just gotten herself into, she was prone to find out when they immediately started dragging her off down the street. Two minutes later, they stepped through the door to one of the surprisingly many clothes shops in the small village, and this one obviously seemed to cater more to the younger generations. That was the only thing Robin could tell from the look around she had immediately upon their entrance. A nervous habit, really, that had only intensified now after getting so stupidly taken by surprise earlier.

"So…" Cas started with a grin while she walked ahead in obvious certainty where she wanted to go. "You know how in a week I'm going home with Simon for the easter holidays, right?"

"You mentioned it a couple million times, yes." Robin sassed in feigned annoyance, but her small smile was a sincere one yet again. How could she forget, when both Cas and Simon had been speaking of little else over the last few days. It was rather adorable, really, how excited both of them were to spend time together outside of school for once, at last, after over a year of dating. Robin had the utmost understanding for that, and for them in general.

"Funny." Cas rolled her eyes at Robin, but then went on while she slalomed around shelves and tables of clothes with the others in tow. "Anyway, I wanted to get some nicer things for the occasion. You know, like some pajamas and underwear and stuff… Everything I have is terribly childish or boring and just meh."

Oh dear… Robin could relate more to that than she wanted to admit, and that level of subtle embarrassment wasn't something she currently wanted to deal with. Nor did she want to discuss these matters with her roommates, even if they seemed to have no reluctance to do so the other way round. To her luck, they at least weren't here because of her. Or so she sincerely hoped.

"To shortcut Cas' elaborations, we picked out some stuff for her, but we couldn't really decide and weren't too sure if it was too much or too little, so we were hoping you could give your usual overly-rational evaluation." Jorien concluded factually, and Robin only nodded her agreement with a silent sigh.

This really was the most horrible timing; she had no room in her mind for insignificant matters like clothing! There was only fear and anxiety and concern… and Morgan's words still nagging at her. 'You are just like her', he'd said. Like who? Did Robin remind him of someone who all of his anger and affection likewise were actually directed at? 'While I look at your lovely being every morning and every night of every day, you I hardly ever get to see.'... What the hell was that supposed to mean? Robin always made a conscious effort to avoid Morgan as much as possible, to the extent of almost hiding from him during mealtimes. They only really met in defense classes these days. So he really hardly got to see her indeed… but he looked at her being every day? One of the photos of her that had been in the paper, perhaps? But then he would see her as well, not her being. Ugh, this was just-...

"Earth to Robin!" Cas snapped her fingers in front of Robin's face with raised eyebrows. They were standing in front of a line of changing cubicles now, or rather Jorien and Robin were, while Cas stood in the door of one and moved back towards the mirror inside where she looked at herself. Robin had to frown when her attention returned to the current moment. Cas was still wearing her own clothes, but in the mirror, her reflection wore the piece she was trying to show to her friends.

"Interesting spellwork with the mirrors…" Robin mused before she could help it. "Is that a common thing in clothes shops around here?"

"...yes?!" Cas scoffed incredulously at the –to her– obviously inane question. "You really don't go shopping often enough. The mirrors are charmed to show you what the pieces would look like on you. Then you only have to try on the things you actually like on yourself for the right size. We've done that already, so it's just deciding between the looks now. What do you think?"

With an almost impressed expression, Robin studied both the mirror and Cas' reflection for a moment to actually make an effort at last. Perhaps this wasn't quite as terrible as she'd thought… Sure, it seemed kind of ridiculous to be here shopping now after she'd had to fight for her life half an hour ago. But perhaps that was why it was a good idea after all; a remedy for all the ghosts in her head, the fear and anxiety in her body. It might do her good to get some distance to the events before trying to understand them.

Thus for the next forty minutes Robin did her best to actually focus on the girls and on helping Cas with her shopping. They really had picked some nice things that weren't too over the top, and after Robin had given her commentary and evaluation as well, the selection Cas was left with was well worth their efforts. Robin was almost led to believe that allowing them to drag her here hadn't been quite such a terrible idea as she'd originally thought.

That was until Jorien and Cas were fooled enough by Robin's desperate efforts to push through this endeavor with the very last of her energy and enthusiasm to try to make her try things on as well. And that Robin really didn't have the mindset for today. Being alive was currently a higher priority to her than being well dressed, which the two younger girls of course had no understanding for. They couldn't, really, and Robin wouldn't burden them with it either. Thus she agreed to let them pick whatever while she would patiently stand in front of the mirror to let them gawk at the reflection, as long as she wouldn't have to actually physically change. Or make an effort to show sincere interest in any of the pieces any longer.

For a while the girls picked all kinds of both horrendous and actually quite nice pieces just to giggle and fawn over and Robin simply let them. As long as they were having fun, she couldn't care less if they made her reflection look like a clown or a magazine model. And while her reflection's garments changed from t-shirts to dresses to pajamas to lingerie, she resumed her pondering of Morgan's words and actions as well as her own. Ignoring the outside world as successfully as ever for a good twenty minutes at least.

"How strange…" Cas' half humoured and half confused huff was what pulled Robin back into the reality around her at last, and she followed the girl's line of sight to her underwear-clad reflection. Good gods… she looked like the closest thing to a piece of pastry she'd ever seen. Or an 18th century mistress. Or both.

"What's so strange?" Jorien asked a short moment later, and frowned at Robin's ridiculous reflection as well.

"I haven't really noticed before either, because I was admittedly distracted by the fun pieces of clothing, but it's really quite obvious now." Cas replied and crossed her arms over her chest with an almost smug expression. "Tell me, what do you see?"

Jorien scoffed, then rolled her eyes, but went to answer nonetheless. "Well, I see Robin, looking like an ancient painting of some royal hooker. Don't tell me you see any more than that in the mirror…"

The words sent a surge of immediate anxiety and adrenaline through Robin, and while she thought that it was due to the discomfort upon looking like a tart at first, the impression soon was replaced by the nagging in the back of her mind that picked up stronger than ever. Her mind started spinning too fast, thoughts tumbling over each other in both panic and reason. Gods, she could almost grasp the thought, the words that were haunting her now.

"Well duh…" Cas rolled her eyes, then tapped against the glass on the height of Robin's ribs. "There's no scar, idiots! As far as I remember, Robin has a rather visible scar on her rib cage, while the reflection doesn't. Isn't that odd? As if the reflection isn't even you."

A wall inside Robin's mind collapsed in that instant, and buried her under the impossible weight of its ashes. Its implications. She could hardly breathe. Paintings… Reflections… Scars… Earrings. A wild rush of adrenaline. Panic. She felt sick as soon as she finally understood.

"Robin, are you alright? You look terrible again… Did we say something wrong?" Jorien inquired instead of reacting to Cas' explanation, and half a second later both girls were gazing at her in concern. Robin had no capacity left to care that she worried them. She had no capacity for anything outside of her own mind.

"I need to get back to the castle. Now." She said in a quiet voice, staring at her own eyes in the mirror for just a moment longer before spinning on her heels and making for the shop's exit. Every cell in her body stood on edge, every emotion locked away behind the thickest walls she could muster up to cope with reality. Right now, she only needed reason, as much of it as she could get. And in a spurt of just that she looked over her shoulder at the two confused girls once more before she reached the door. "I'm sorry, I just remembered something very important that I have forgotten about for far too long. Do go on shopping without me though, and be sure to tell me all about it at dinner, yes?"

Then, without waiting for an answer, she was out of the door and on her way back to the castle. Her lungs hurt, heart racing, head spinning, and her eyes stung terribly from both the wind and unshed tears of raw anxiety. Perhaps it was only the shock of realisation hitting her, or perhaps she was really quite so scared. She didn't know if she hoped to be right or wrong in the unnerving suspicion that had fallen upon her like the darkest of night. Because frankly, either way would end in a nightmare.

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

Text

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.35}

*Severus Snape x OC*

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 3k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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"I'm going to die, am I not?" Robin sighed in a shallow voice before she could help it, while fear wrapped around her heart like a vine of devil's snare. "You wouldn't be sitting there like that if it was anything else."

Snape didn't reply, but his eyes found and followed Robin's as she toed off her shoes and then carefully maneuvered through the papers on the ground, hopefully without stepping onto any of them until she stood right before him. With a heavy weight in her chest that made it harder to breathe by the second, she looked down at him for a moment in silence, but it was only when she took his hand ever so gently that every bit of defeat and doubt faded from his features to leave only calm determination behind.

"I will not let you die, Robin. You know that." He finally spoke up in an overwhelming certainty that his eyes conveyed now as well. "No matter what these papers say, we will be fine."

Letting out a breath she didn't know she had been holding, Robin gave him a nod and a half smile on instinct. If he seriously thought they were going to be alright, then they would be. Perhaps that had to be enough reassurance for now, enough for her to cling onto, enough to keep calm and deal with whatever was coming. With a sigh she finally sat down next to Snape in their small circle between the papers and took in all the different stacks of parchments spread around them. They were of various ages, in various stages of decay and with a multitude of different handwritings on them. Gods, where to start… perhaps, with the most obvious thing to do.

"Tell me about it." Robin merely said, calmly almost as if they were merely talking about a new kind of potion they were experimenting on, then looked up at Snape by her side. "What are we dealing with here?"

"A prophecy." He sighed in return. "An old prophecy that is, and I daresay those tend to be the very worst."

"Great."

"Perhaps you should read for yourself what it is about and how it came to be." Snape said, then frowned to himself for a moment while his eyes scanned the papers, before finally his features relaxed once more into calm factuality. "At least the most important parts of it all. The history around it up to the present day I might as well summarize for you afterwards."

"Have you actually read over all of these parchments already?! There are literally hundreds of them!"

"I read fast." He flatly defended himself against Robin's incredulous expression, but once she gave him a no-kidding look, he went on to elaborate. "But I also skimmed through a lot of it merely to be able to group it into categories. About half of these papers are mere copies of older texts that were only made to preserve the content and document the process thereof. The other half consists of about eighty percent personal accounts of those affected by the prophecy, and merely the remaining twenty percent are information abundantly necessary to understand the prophecy itself as well as its history. Those I have read entirely, yes."

"Wow…" Robin breathed, while her eyes drifted over the sea of paper in front of her. "It all sounds terribly complicated, if I'm honest."

"It will make more sense once you read for yourself." He replied almost reassuringly and handed her one of the smaller stacks of parchment, a mere ten pages, perhaps. "This is a late 19th century transcription of the first original text that was written in the early 14th century by the wizard who cursed your bloodline."

"What?!"

"Just read, will you?"

With a sound that started as a scoff but ended as a sigh, Robin let herself lean further into Snape's side before finally allowing her eyes to trail over the delicate handwriting as carefully as possible in the golden light of the fire. And boy, what she got to read right there she hadn't been expecting, not even anything close to it at all. It was a bloody mess, and not the least bit less messed up. But reading she did, and she started at the beginning.

It had all begun in the early fourteenth century, when an unfortunate man had fallen in love with an even more unfortunate woman. The man, a wizard born into one of the most reputational bloodlines at the time, namely into the family line of the Morgans. The woman, a witch herself, descendant of a rivaling family with no less power or influence than the former. The bloodline of the Bennetts. And as fate so often, so cruelly demands, the unfortunate man in line of the Morgans fell so deeply in love with the Bennett girl that before long, his love turned poisonous and into obsession. The young woman in return felt nothing but fear for the Morgan man, fear and even disgust perhaps, and she continued to condemn his countless advances, to flee from him whenever she could. Driven to madness by the girl's insistent rejection, the man set out to force her into marriage, to force her into loving him, but the Bennett girl would not be so easily subdued. Defying his will, she saw her last resort in fighting him as an equal, and he saw his last chance with her in fighting back. And fighting they did, to the bitter bloody end, to the very last draw. But as Morgan looked down at her on their moss covered battlefield, broken and shaking on the ground in her unwilling surrender, he saw that she would never relent. And if she would never come to love him, if she could never be his, then she ought to be no one else's either. He killed her in a frenzy of blind rage, a step further down on his descent into madness, and he only realized what he had done when it was by far too late.

Eaten up by grief and guilt, in unconsolable agony over what he had lost, he painted a portrait of his love, his eternal flame, to preserve her spirit for all the time to come. And yet he could never forgive himself for what he had done, could not live without the only thing that made his life worth living, could not live with the suffocating guilt.

Thus he took the painting, and the jewelry of his love; a locket which he had always adored, for it was a piece she had always worn with such intent adoration. He then had placed an intricate curse on the two objects, and on the two bloodlines of the Morgan and Bennett family in return. A curse that would make history repeat itself, generation for generation, until one day, the Bennett line would triumph over the Morgan one, and thereby give the original ancestors both their punishment and their redemption. The tragedy was to repeat until a Bennett girl would finally kill a Morgan man, or the two lines would be tied together for all the time to come. Having placed that curse, and having secured that the tokens of this prophecy would be found, the original Morgan had written down his sins and soughts, before finding his bloody end at his very own hands at long last. Cursed to suffer in death, until one day his distant heir would be defeated by the heir of his love.

Robin looked up from the papers with a deep frown, with lips parted in confusion and incredulity. "Is this some kind of joke I just don't understand?"

"I am afraid it is not."

"Well, either way, this can't have anything to do with me. I don't even know anyone by the name of Bennett! I mean sure, I have the locket, one locket, to be precise, and we don't even know if it's the one! This… All of this is just mental!"

"And yet in the light of the present ongoings, it would make perfect sense, wouldn't you say?" Snape's voice was surprisingly calm for the absurdity of the topic, and deep down Robin knew that this indeed was no joke, nor some goofy tragedy. This was perfectly real, and somehow, she was caught up right in the middle of it.

"I still don't understand why… or how… or… anything about this at all." She scoffed to herself, while her frown deepened to suppress the angry tears of helplessness. Fine, so someone in the fourteenth century had possibly cursed a locket she had in her possession, and a portrait Morgan had in his. So what?! She wasn't a Bennett, nor a Morgan for that matter. What on earth did she have to do with any of this?! Angrily, she ripped the locket off her neck in one abrupt yet considered movement, and the chain once again bit into her skin like a violent whip. But she didn't care, rather on the contrary, the pain posed an almost pleasant distraction from her mental state of utter torment. Without any remaining care, she tossed the necklace onto one of the paper stacks by the fireplace, then glared at it as if that would melt the piece of jewelry out of existence by the sheer furnace of her fury alone. But all it did was to make her eyes hurt, and to make them tear up even more as Robin failed to come to any other conclusion than the one laid out before her. She would have to accept the facts, if she liked them or not… but that didn't mean she had to understand them any more than this crooked tumble of words in her head allowed her to.

After a few long seconds at last, seconds she used to unsuccessfully sort through her own frenzied thoughts, she first felt the cool brush of Snape's fingertips on the soreness of her neck, then the soothing tingle of his magic on her skin as well as in her mind, and finally the welcoming softness of his lips pressing gentle kisses to the back of her neck. Obviously he understood that no words in existence could better the chaos that had become of her mind right now, and in return those feathery kisses were all it took to break through the clouds of anger that surrounded her, like a beaconing ray of sunshine. Robin found herself sighing before she knew, and for a few silent minutes upon that, she merely enjoyed the comfort of his lingering embrace. She wasn't alone in this, and she didn't have to deal with it alone. Thus, the only question of relevance was how they usually dealt with these kinds of problems, and the only answer was the same as always: together. By taking on one piece of the puzzle at a time.

"So…" She finally started again, and turned her head just enough to look at Snape more comfortably now. If they would talk about this now, there was no place for stray emotions. If he could stay calm and rational, so could Robin. "Basically this means that ever since the fourteenth century, whenever a male descendant of the Morgan family lived at the same time as a female descendant of the Bennett family, the man slowly turned insane with love for the woman until matters ended in one final fight over life and death? And as of yet, the Morgan man has killed the Bennett girl every single time?"

"Yes, and no. It isn't as easy as that, unfortunately." Snape replied, but thankfully went right on to explain. "The cycle of repetition begins only and foremostly when the first of the two descendants comes into contact with the cursed item connected to their family line."

"You mean when the woman finds the locket, or the man finds the portrait?"

"Precisely. The curses placed on the objects ensure that both the witch and wizard will inevitably find their respective objects. Thus, when Morgan came across the portrait, you also had to find the locket not long after. Or the other way around."

"But I came across the locket all the way back in first year, entirely by chance! Does that mean I was the first to find my object? Assuming that I even am the person this prophecy speaks of, that is."

"Not necessarily. Curses as well as prophecies have a tendency to make everything seem like it happened by chance. In hindsight, you might as well have taken the first chance you got to acquire the locket. It was your first holiday outside of school, after all. The first opportunity to seek out your object by yourself after becoming aware of magic in the first place."

"That's just overly confusing, if you ask me."

"It is indeed confusing, and since there is no way to nor point in determining who came to their object first, it is luckily not entirely relevant for the matters at hand." He went on, to Robin's luck, with the more pressing matters. "Once both parties have found their items, the repetition of history as is dictated by the curse is inevitable. Which is what makes it inevitable for them to meet, and to hate each other from there on even without knowing of the whole history behind any of what is going on."

"But when the two people are doomed to hate each other until things escalate, where does the whole 'obsessive love' thing come into play?"

"From the accounts I yet went through, there seems to be an equal amount of love and hatred in both parties."

"I see. So basically, this whole thing can't be talking about me then." Robin concluded with a huff, and a shrug in useless defiance. "I just hate Morgan, and that only ever since he started being an arse. For the majority of my time at Hogwarts, I was almost indifferent to him, and even now I only hate and fear him because of what he's doing to me."

"That is indeed quite a peculiar fact we still need to consider." Snape mused, and yet again Robin found herself glad that he had already seen her every thought and emotion. He knew that what she said was true… she didn't harbour an ounce of affection for Morgan, and never had. They both knew that.

"As is the fact that I am not a Bennett. My parents are muggles, and I can almost guarantee you that I wasn't adopted." Robin added in to the argument, then found herself sighing once more. "Can we even be sure that I'm the woman in question? It seems so unlikely, especially since I could just have the locket in my possession by coincidence."

"You forget the perhaps most important piece of undeniable proof there is…" Snape gave her a meaningful look, as if he had only just now thought of it himself. "The portrait. It depicts the original Bennett ancestor, and-..."

"It depicts me." Robin finished the sentence in a quiet voice, and her shoulders slumped upon the final realization of what that truly meant. "So I really am the pendant to our very own lunatic Morgan ancestor, huh?"

"It seems so." Snape's voice was no louder than hers now, and he, too, looked quite as discontent with the facts as Robin felt on the inside. "I have no idea how or why that is possible in the first place, but seeing as it is the way it is, perhaps it would be wise to postpone this question in favour of more urgent ones."

"Right, yeah, you're right… We have the present and future to deal with, the past can wait. I just… have a difficult time thinking about the end of the story. If the curse and repetition, the whole bloody prophecy, is still in place today, does that mean that-..."

"Yes. Over the last five hundred years, the cursed descendants of the Morgan family have killed the cursed descendants of the Bennett family."

"Every single time… Don't forget to mention that." Robin breathed to herself, and yet the words sounded as strange and foreign as the idea was in itself. Twenty generations, and not once had her side won the fight. Not that she even felt like she had a side, no, it was rather the fact that this entire prophecy seemed like an ill-fitting garment that didn't belong to her that concerned Robin the most. It still felt like none of this had anything to do with her, even though it most obviously did.

"That is mere coincidence." Snape countered in a huff of defiance, much like the one Robin had displayed herself mere minutes ago, but it was his words indeed that made her snort now.

"Didn't you just say that there is no such thing as coincidence in prophecies?" She quirked an eyebrow up at him, and yet again couldn't help smiling at least a little. No matter how dim the situation, there was always a tease on either of their lips to make it better.

"I meant to say that there is absolutely no factor that predetermines the winning of the Morgan descendant over the Bennett one." He replied with a roll of his eyes upon her tease, but Robin could tell that he appreciated it as a shift of tone nonetheless. "If there was, the entire prophecy would be rather pointless."

"True."

"Thus, there is absolutely no reason to assume that you will suffer the same fate as did the others before you. In fact, you do have one advantage over Morgan that everyone who came before you did not."

"And that is?" Robin raised her eyebrows at him in question and curiosity alike, immediately catching onto the spark of hope that came with the prospect of an advantage indeed. Perhaps, not all was lost.

"Me."

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

Text

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.26}

*Severus Snape x OC*

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5.5k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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"I had the choice between making you laugh and thereby forget about the pain I was unfortunately causing in the process, or to further said pain even more by talking about Morgan and his vile doings." He replied so easily that it made perfect sense now, as the most obvious solution ever. "As you see, it wasn't even a choice to be made."

"Thank you. That… was a really clever thing to do, actually." Robin sighed and gave him a soft smile, then took a moment to appreciate how the shadows of the flames danced across his skin before she spoke on. "So… no more pain for now?"

"Not as far as I can tell."

"Let's find out for sure then, shall we?" Her smile turned into a brighter one, especially when a spark lit up his dark eyes that didn't originate from the flames by their side. "I can't very well test it by myself after all… doesn't work like that."

"Pity." He replied with a not-smirk, as the amusement wouldn't stay off his face like the irony not gone from his words, nor the purest adoration out of his gaze when Robin took the one small step left to stand directly before him, on her tiptoes for their lips to almost touch when he leaned down just a little bit further. "You really are insufferable."

"I know." She got out in one whisper of a smile, before every word and breath was taken from her in a gentle brushing of lips, and a delicate tracing of fingers down her spine a moment later. Back were the shivers of unadulterated delight, now that the pain was gone for real. Whatever he had done, he had done it well. A part of Robin's mind couldn't help marveling at the sheer amount of talent that Snape possessed for just about anything of relevance, for such a variety of magic and wondrous things, while the rest of her soon was too distracted to think at all.

Eventually her toes started to hurt from standing up on them though, and her hands and arms grew tired from holding up her dress for so long, which led her to pull away just enough to look at him. "May I borrow something of yours to wear tonight? A ball gown isn't really the most comfortable thing to be sitting on a sofa in… and I'd like to have a drink before you tell me just what it was that Morgan did to my back."

"You can have anything you want, Robin, most obviously even if it is a thing as simple as a piece of clothing. It shouldn't come as a surprise to you however that the options in that regard are rather… limited."

"Well, if I don't find anything, I'll just wrap myself in your robes instead." Robin quirked an eyebrow at him with a small smirk, then sauntered over to the wardrobe where he kept his most mundane belongings. Even with her back to him now, she could tell that her comment had frozen him in place, while his eyes still seemed to burn holes into her skin. It made her shiver to have his full attention on her body like this now, but she still rolled her eyes to herself with a smile. "That was a joke, you know… I'll find something to wear. But I'm feeling quite underdressed, if you keep standing there in your dress robes."

"I wasn't aware that I was to keep up with your astonishing level of undress, my sincerest apologies." He replied in the most obvious sarcasm as he fell into action nonetheless, which made Robin snort and shake her head to herself as she picked up a long abandoned t-shirt she had discovered at the very bottom of the wardrobe, which only put emphasis on the point that he certainly would have no interest in wearing it himself. That would have to do… While the thought of wearing so very little made her heart skip a beat in itself, it also brought back a spark of insecurity. Teasing was one thing, but could she really be quite as bold in reality? It surely wouldn't bother him too much if she only wore his t-shirt and her knickers, would it? She hadn't worn that much more in the summer either… but there still was a difference between jersey shorts and underwear. The thought made her blush, made her heart beat faster and her skin tingle at once, but then again, the temptation of crossing yet another line that now lay broken before her was just too strong to resist. He'd said he wanted to keep her here after all… and he certainly hadn't expected her to sleep in her ball gown, had he?

It took a bit of fumbling with the last few buttons on her dress before Robin finally had it opened up all the way, but then she simply dropped the heavy fabric and let it pool by her feet while she pulled the shirt over her head instead. It probably wasn't the most exciting piece of clothing, soft and black and plain, but at least it covered her butt for the most part, and it was already comfortable seconds after putting it on. That really was all she had wanted. Sighing to herself, she picked her dress up from the ground and folded it in half before placing it with her shoes on the trunk next to the wardrobe where it wouldn't be in the way. This really felt strangely normal, somehow. All of this. Then again, they had been this close for ages. Almost, at least. Again, she realized just how little had actually changed. They still were just the same old dungeon bat and insane girl, only with more possibilities. The thought made her smile.

When she turned back around at last, the first thing she took pleasant notice of was the fact that he had shed some layers of coats indeed, which again left him in one of those linen shirts she liked so much. The second thing she noticed was the two glasses and the bottle of firewhisky on the coffee table, and she had to smirk at the fact that he hadn't even had to ask to know what she wanted to drink. It had become somewhat of a staple by now, and while they didn't drink too often, they usually ended up with firewhisky whenever they did. The third and final thing that caught her eye was his gaze on her, which she couldn't describe as anything other than awestruck even as she slowly made her way back to the sofa. Somehow, instead of feeling uncomfortable or nervous now, Robin simply had to smile while her heart was leaping out of her chest again. He really did look at her like she was the answer to the universe's greatest question… and it did unspeakable things to her in return.

With the same smile and a sigh she plopped down on the sofa next to Snape, then summoned a blanket from the shelves and draped it over her now crossed legs. Not out of embarrassment really, but naked skin and cold dungeon air just didn't go too well together for a longer period of time, no matter how lovely the fire or the company was. When her eyes finally lifted back to meet his, she found that he was still looking at her with that same expression of calm amazement, and she had to chuckle as she quirked an eyebrow up at him.

"What?" She finally asked, when after a few moments he still made no attempt to do anything other than observe her quietly.

"Never did I dare to believe I would get to see you like this. Be with you, like this." He replied calmly, and his words made Robin smile again, while for some odd reason this sufficed to make a subtle heat creep up her neck. Honestly, she hadn't expected it either. But then again, now that it was part of their reality, it felt like the most natural and inevitable thing in existence.

"And do you like it, now that you do… see me?" She asked, even though she had a rather vivid idea of what he was going to reply.

"Obviously. Even if 'like' is quite as much of an understatement as 'happy' was."

"Good." Robin smiled, then let out a humoured huff. "I still remember our sleepover in the lab… or that one time on my birthday. You let me wear your robes, and I was positively dying on the inside from the sheer excitement about it."

"So was I."

"Really?" She frowned at him with a small incredulous laugh, and her eyes followed his movements while he finally poured them a firewhisky each. "I mean… why?"

"Do you have any idea how insanely attractive it is to see you wearing something of mine?"

The stupid smile was back on her face in under a second in reply to that, and it prevailed even when he handed her a glass and rolled his eyes exaggeratedly upon seeing her probably very goofy expression. The smirk on his lips however told the truth of his thoughts.

"So… seeing me in just your shirt now must be quite the sight." Robin mused in feigned nonchalance, swirling the amber liquid around her glass while she watched it sparkle in the glow of the fire. "Or does it step aside to seeing me in my underwear without having to look away for the first time?"

"You are such a tease."

"Only when it comes to you. You know that."

He didn't reply immediately, which is what made Robin look up from her glass just in time to see his smirk turning into a small but sincerely happy smile. "Indeed."

The leaping of her heart washed away every drop of tease in an instant, and left behind only the soaring adoration and burning excitement. With a smile mirroring his own, Robin raised her glass to him. "To everything."

"To you, for being braver than I was." He added on in subtle amusement at her grand expression, and finally clinked his glass to hers. Then they both took a sip of their drinks as they ought to, but their eyes stayed locked on each other the entire time nonetheless, sheer unable to look away. Robin smiled into her glass for a moment, then set it down on the table behind the sofa without even having to look at what she was doing. This was perfect… it was just like always, but it also was more after all.

For another quiet moment she simply observed him then, how he took another sip of whisky, and it once more brought the question of how it would taste on his lips to the forefront of her mind. She had been wondering about that for months now… every time they were drinking just this beverage, to be exact. It was due time she finally got an answer. But… could she just kiss him like that? Without warning? Technically, she had originally been the first to kiss him, but after that it had rather been more or less subtle prompting from her that had made him kiss her, and-...

"Talk to me, Robin… Getting lost now would be a shame. What is troubling you?"

Gods, he was too good at reading her. Robin sighed to herself, and had to smile nonetheless. There was no need to find a half truth to answer anymore… She could finally tell him absolutely everything that went on in her head, without restraint. That was bloody brilliant, actually. "I was just wondering if I could kiss you, just like that."

"What an inane question." He quirked an eyebrow at her with a humoured expression. "Obviously you can if you want to. What makes you doubt that now?"

"Doubt is the wrong word for it… I was just concerned that I might do something wrong, if I just… you know. Or that I'd make you uncomfortable." She shrugged with a half smile. "I just like to think about the consequences of my actions before I do something stupid."

"I'm well aware of that." The smirk was back on his lips, but it was surprisingly affectionate in contrast to the usual humour or scorn. "And to be honest, I am no stranger to the very same concerns."

"Really? But you seem so certain in everything you do… like you know exactly that what you're doing is right, and also what you're supposed to do."

"So do you." He replied, much to Robin's sincere surprise. She seemed like she knew what she was doing?! No way. And yet, he seemed to believe so. "Obviously these impressions can be quite misleading."

Once again, the thought and realization that in the end he was just as afraid to mess this up as she was herself made Robin's heart soar, made warmth spread out from her chest through her entire body, made her lose more of her own concerns. They would learn to navigate these new territories, together.

"You've never made me uncomfortable with anything you did…" She said with a smile. "You've only ever made me want more."

"I could say the exact same about you."

"Oh come on, I know for a fact that I've made you uncomfortable before."

"You challenge me, that is entirely different."

"How about we both stop being so stupidly concerned then, and just do instead of overthinking and worrying? Yes, how about we agree to actually tell each other what we think, want and what makes us uncomfortable instead?" Robin suggested with a hopeful but not remotely imploring look. She knew better than to push him. "We've been doing just that about work matters for ages now… talking honestly and openly, I mean. Would it be so bad if we did the same for everything else as well?"

"I assume not." He mused, then studied her for a moment before speaking on, in well considered seriousness. "I promise to try."

That, she knew and would never forget, was a truly extraordinary thing for him to do, to promise, especially such a thing, and it made her heart leap out of her chest yet again with an overwhelming wave of affection. But it also made her smile. "I promise to try as well."

"And just to test the functionality of that, what would you be thinking right in this instant?" He raised an eyebrow at her, then took another sip of whisky and set the empty glass down on the table at last.

"That I really want my answer now, to a question I've had for ages." She smiled in return, but before he could do anything more than frown in question, Robin was sitting up on her knees already, blanket long forgotten and abandoned as she moved closer to his side. Not even half a second later her lips were on his for a gentle, but all the more determined kiss.

If it wasn't for the subtle taste of firewhisky, Robin would have doubted the reality of the moment yet again the very second her body and soul were set ablaze. A small voice in her mind wondered if she would ever get used to these overwhelming feelings, if it was the whisky or the kiss that was making her dizzy in the most delightful of ways, if kisses were supposed to be this ineffably intoxicating. It certainly was the most delightful way to lose yourself, and find something far greater instead.

Perhaps that is why the gentleness, the seek for a mere answer was doomed and destined to grow into inevitable passion. Soft lips turned tongues and teeth and it sent yet another thrill through Robin when his hand settled on the curve of her hip to pull her as close as their awkward angle on the sofa allowed. It wasn't enough; she wanted to be closer than this, closer than just leaning into his side. She had to be, it was an irresistible calling, an impulse she couldn't ignore. On instinct more than by conscious thought her arms wrapped around his shoulders, tugging him closer in return now, but he wouldn't have it. Instead, not a fathomable moment later, the hand on her hip turned into an arm around her waist and just like that he pulled her into his lap without an effort. Robin thought it a change for the better, one that gave her new tingles all over. Straddling his legs now, her entire body curved into his in an instant as she pressed herself as close as she could, and he let out a quiet involuntary moan in return. Gods, he would be the end of her… even if she felt more alive now than she ever had before.

It was only his fingers tracing along a sliver of her skin below the hem of her shirt that sent a literal quiver through her, and when he placed his other hand on her thigh, a gentle caress of her bare skin, the heartbeat that echoed through her wasn't entirely her own. The thudding rhythm within her in addition to a serious lack of oxygen made her break away with a gasp at last, but she still found herself unable to speak, to act, to do anything but stay as close as she could nonetheless.

"If that was the answer, do I even want to know the question?" Snape was the first to speak, entirely out of breath no less, but he at least, thank god, kept on drawing circles on Robin's skin that made her sigh under her breath, while his question however made her croak a laugh.

"I have been wondering for months now what firewhisky would taste like on your lips." She made herself reply at last, and leaned back just enough to look at him with an amused smile.

"How curious…" He mused, and in a poor attempt to conceal his smirk he gave her an evaluating frown. "Do you happen to have wondered the same thing about other beverages as well?"

Now that made Robin chuckle even more, and display the very smirk she knew he was trying to hold off. "Let's say I wouldn't be opposed to a series of tests."

That sufficed to break his half hearted attempt by far, and he rolled his eyes with a snort, then didn't even bother to hide the smirk anymore. He certainly wasn't opposed to the idea either, if the way he was still holding onto her was any indication of that. Robin couldn't help but smile when his hold on her tightened the smallest bit as he shifted beneath her, and yet it also brought a subtle heat to her cheeks as it made her very much aware of the fact that she was sitting in his lap. In her underwear. If that wasn't enough reason to grin like an idiot and blush at the same time she didn't know what was. She found that she enjoyed it far too much to be embarrassed though, or do anything other than relish this closeness. As new as it was, it still felt absolutely and undeniably right.

"I think me seizing your space has gotten an entirely new dimension now." She said after a while, in a mixture of amusement and affection. "But I must say you make a very comfortable seat. And I rather enjoy the perspective."

"Don't get used to it." He quirked an eyebrow up at her, and even though their current position left Robin only minimally taller than him, the change in perspective was indeed rather nice for once.

"Whyever not?" Her smirk only broadened yet again, and she made a point of moving her face so close that her nose brushed against his while she spoke. "Is having me in your lap really quite so terrible? Or is it my astonishing state of undress, as you put it, that is troubling you?"

He didn't even need to reply with words for Robin to get a clear answer immediately, as his body definitely betrayed any attempt to deny the truth that was obvious as day. She could feel the twitch and shudder running through his entire being in rapid succession, his heart skipping a beat right beneath her fingertips. Another, when her lips just barely brushed against his for a fleeting moment of innocent teasing. And it was her heart indeed that went wild when his hand sneaked beneath her shirt once more as he gently traced up the sensitive skin along her spine, before pulling her in with a start for a kiss that was everything but a tease. Robin sighed against his lips in an immediate response, arching into his chest and his touch on mere instinct, and when she grazed her teeth over his bottom lip, his fingers dug into her back in the same delightful intensity the two of them shared with every missing breath.

"Do you think we will ever be able to stop?" She finally brought out in a breathless chuckle, playing with the rivers of black her fingers had at some point become tangled up in. "After all, you really are impossibly addictive, and I don't think I can ever get enough of the divine privilege that is having you as mine."

"Good." His sparse reply was accompanied by a small smirk that made Robin roll her eyes with a mirroring one of her own. If she didn't know better, she would've thought that her accidental poeticism had lost on him… but she did know far better indeed. For a moment they stayed like that, until at last, Snape spoke on. "Going by the state of the fire, we perhaps should consider calling it a night soon if we want to at least pretend that we made an effort to retire in time to get up for breakfast in the morning. With the magic worked on you tonight, I honestly cannot imagine you not to be exhausted."

"You still haven't told me about what exactly that magic worked on me was, seeing as I did a pretty good job distracting you until now. Which is a good thing, don't get me wrong… but I guess I still will have to know what Morgan did to me if I have to see that arse again tomorrow morning." Robin sighed, and she had to admit that she did feel rather exhausted indeed. All the dancing at the ball, the anxiety, the walk, the overwhelming amount of emotions and adrenaline… and on top of that, whatever magic Snape was talking about. "Let's get it over with; what did he do?"

"Do you really want to keep sitting like that for a serious conversation?"

"Just tell me." She gave him a defeated look, in the knowledge that he was obviously dreading the topic as much as she had been up until this point. "It's fine, I'm far too happy right now to let it ruin my night."

"He tried to kill you."

"He… wait, what?!" Robin frowned at him in an instant, in the sincere belief that she had misunderstood him somehow.

"He placed a curse on you that could eventually have led to your timely demise if it had stayed on you for any longer than it did." Snape repeated his words, in the usual yet shocking factuality and neutrality Robin couldn't help but admire. Perhaps this was his way of refraining from murdering Morgan right in this instant, or of trying to distance himself from the reality and gravity of his own words. Either way, it seemed to be working. "That is why it hurt without reason when he touched your back. As far as I could tell, the spell he used would have resulted in immense pain for you whenever someone other than him would physically touch you, up to the point where a mere embrace could be fatal. Initially the effect was obviously limited to your back only, but as you yourself noticed, it was already expanding both in the affected area and the pain caused by touch by the time I removed it."

"What fucked up kind of spellwork is that?! And why… I mean… He-... it's…" Robin groaned when she couldn't get her cluster of thoughts out as a stringent sentence, then hid her face in her hands to regain some order in her mind. This was madness all over again… Morgan was a bloody professor, he couldn't just curse her!!! People would know what he did if she'd made it to the infirmary. If she had made it, that is. Bloody hell, this really gave his insanity a dangerous twist now. This was the first time he had actively tried to harm her, and it obviously had been planned. Nobody just spontaneously came up with a curse like that! Then again, what-...

Her thoughts came to a sudden halt when she felt a gentle tug on her hair. Actually, what she felt was her wand being tugged out of the by now more messy than neat bun. She finally dropped her hands from her face when her hair softly spiralled down her back a moment later, and she couldn't help smiling at Snape when he brushed a strand of it out of her face. It really was her luck that nobody knew how amazing he was… a shame, but also her privilege. And he didn't even need to say a single thing for her to know exactly what he meant to say.

"I know… Sorry. I'm not getting lost again." Robin sighed after a moment. "It's just… I don't understand him at all at this point, and I'm not used to not understanding things. It's not only dangerous, but also very irritating."

"I see." He replied while setting her wand down on the coffee table behind the sofa, then his hand returned to her thigh to draw small circles which Robin found ineffably soothing now. She figured that it was the intention more than the gesture that actually made it more calming than exciting for once, and yet again she could only adore how he was able to do both. After a moment of calm silence, he asked, "Would you like to know more about the spell at least, if neither of us is able to make sense of Morgan just yet?"

"Yeah… How do you even know of such a spell anyway? And how did you know how to undo it?" Robin inquired with a frown, but thought better of it and went on even before he had a chance to reply. "You know what, nevermind. I'm not even surprised. You know just about everything, which really is my greatest luck."

"You might want to thank yourself for that in this particular instance. I only looked into historical spells after your knowledge of the renaissance helped us uncover my book's secret."

"But that was years ago…"

"I happen to have a decent memory, which is why I could recall this particular curse along with its countercurse from one of my casual reads I delved into at the time. The spell was mainly used in the late middle ages on supposedly unfaithful spouses or favoured mistresses, but given the timelessness of its intended use, it seems to have prevailed until the present day. In some circles at least."

"That level of possessiveness definitely fits in with everything Morgan has been saying to me for a while now. Guess he did put his mark on me like he wanted to after all." Robin scoffed, while absentmindedly playing with the buttons on Snape's shirt. "Did the scars stay on my back? After you removed the curse?"

"They did not."

"Too bad… I was hoping for some physical evidence of his doings."

"You certainly are peculiar sometimes. There has been enough undeniable evidence against Morgan at this point, and it has led to no results whatsoever, which is why I for my part appreciate the fact that there was no lasting damage done to you at least."

"Well-... You're probably right. Coming to think of it, I really have had enough injuries after the thing last summer. The girls were rather horrified when they saw the scar tonight; I don't need another to prove the case."

That brought a small but curious frown to his face, and after what seemed like a moment of internal debate, he finally gave in to it. "It has been months since, and they haven't seen it before now?"

"Nobody but you has." Robin shrugged with a humoured half smile. "It's not like I undress in front of other people regularly, you know… To be honest, I've always been rather afraid of it."

"In that case you are surprisingly at ease with it now."

"I'm at ease with you, that's different. When I said I want everything with you I did mean everything; no inhibitions and no conditions. I trust you, quite a bit more than myself for the most part."

"Terrible decision." He sighed exaggeratedly, which in combination with his words and expression made Robin chuckle.

"Seeing as I'm still alive and able to have this conversation, I beg to differ." She argued back with a smirk. "In fact, I think trusting you is the best decision I have ever made. Unlike my choice of underwear tonight, which was admittedly quite poor even for me. I'll try to do better from here on."

"Funny." He rolled his eyes with a not-smirk, then a sincere smile. "You really aren't uncomfortable with me in the least at this point, are you?"

"Obviously I'm not. I promised to tell you if I ever am, and you know all about my promises. They do come a close second to yours." She replied in a calm factuality that stemmed in the knowledge that it was absolutely true what she said. She trusted him unconditionally, and honestly, she had been doing so for the longest time now.

"In that case, this shouldn't make you uncomfortable either." He stated, half feigned neutrality and half feigned innocence, but with enough mischief in both to make Robin smile even before he slowly moved his hands up her thighs and to cup her bottom. It sent an immediate thrill through her, from the top of her head into every last cell of her being and down into her very core, and yet at the same time it also threatened to make her grin.

"In fact, it doesn't make me uncomfortable at all. Rather on the contrary." She replied in a half-hearted attempt to keep a straight face, but the frantic beating of her heart echoing through her as well as the sheer blazing tingles on her skin made that positively impossible.

"Good. Now hold on, yes?"

Before Robin could make any attempt to ask what he meant by that, his hold on her tightened in return and a second later he got up off the sofa while simply lifting her up with him. After a broken second of honest surprise, she clung onto him as tightly as she could by instinct, heartbeat going through the roof for multiple reasons at once, but she also couldn't help laughing a moment later.

"What on earth are you doing? I'm way too heavy to be carried around!" She protested very unconvincingly even for her own ears, especially with all those broken chuckles in between her words. Truth be told, she loved every second of it.

"Some of my books are heavier than you." He returned easily, but undoubtedly with a smirk to his tone. "And I am disappointed by your lack of faith in my strength."

"I do have every possible faith in you, just… don't drop me, please." She said a little wearily when he started moving away from the sofa and the fireplace and towards the far corner of the room.

"Never." His voice stayed surprisingly steady even as he moved up the two steps towards the bed and into the growing darkness. "But carefully setting you down should be alright, I presume, because otherwise we would be sitting on that sofa until morning."

Robin nodded into his shoulder, unable to speak without making a fool of herself and her squeaky, breathless voice, and a moment later her back touched the surface of the bed, soft linen sheets grazing the naked skin on her legs so lightly her breathing hitched in return. But when Snape pulled back after putting her down, withdrawing from her grasp way too soon, she couldn't help but refuse to loosen her hold on him in return, refuse to let him leave her without his warmth, and all it took was a little tug on his shoulders to make him lose his balance and fall forward. A tiny smirk found its way onto Robin's lips in an instant; He really should have seen that coming now, shouldn't he?

______________________________

Tags:

@ayamenimthiriel @chibi-lioness @t-sunnyside @alex4555 @purpledragonturtles @istrugglewithphilosophy @meghan-maria @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall @darkestacademiaaa @nizem8 @girilimoni

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

Text

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.25}

*Severus Snape x OC*

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5.2k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

Two minutes after the elaborate goodnight wishes, the five girls were finally on their way down to the dungeons. Cas was babbling away as always, entertaining both Melissa and Lisa to the fullest, while Jorien and Robin merely listened and observed as they followed behind. The three girls up front barely made it down the spiral staircase, giggling as they were, but not even the gloomy darkness of the dungeon hallways could bring the calm and quiet of the night into their conversation as they happily chatted on and on about the many highlights of the dance. Thus it wasn't surprising when a minute later nobody took notice of Robin's quiet yelp as she was whisked away from the group in a crossing of one gloomy hallway with an even darker one.

The adrenaline in Robin's blood skyrocketed immediately, the yelp dying on her lips in a broken moment of initial surprise. Then the familiar arm around her waist and the comforting scent of home quenched every spark of fear or panic in her mind.

She found herself pressed against the cold stone wall a second later, kept in place by the weight of his body while his soft lips on her own demanded a fire she gladly returned, and every last cell in her body lit up in roaring flames as an immediate response. Her heart was bursting, drumming furiously against her ribcage while its echoes pulsed through her entire body in sheer blissful heat. Oh bloody fucking hell, this was magnificent… breathtaking, in every sense of the word. And it still was terribly dangerous, even here now in the dark. That, perhaps, was the only flaw of the moment, their one and only honest mistake.

"Are you aware that you are way too good at this?" Snape finally asked, ragged breaths brushing against Robin's skin as he leaned his forehead against hers. Upon this she smiled, but her eyes stayed closed as she found herself too overwhelmed to open them. She didn't need to; she could feel him, his presence, his warmth, his entire being…

"Really?" She finally let out a humoured and incredulous huff in reply. How could she be any good at this if she had never kissed anyone before? Was her lack of experience really not all that noticeable?

"Without a doubt. I would never allow myself to get this carried away in a school hallway of all places if you didn't enchant me beyond any measure. Beyond any reason."

"Sev-..." She was cut off by his lips, both in word and thought and she lost every string of reason that had just started to gather back together. Oh screw experience, they were way too good at this to even think of that. She must be doing something very right if he couldn't stop this madness either, couldn't resist the growing addiction.

It once again was the noise of people crossing by in a hallway close by that broke them apart, and only then Robin noticed for the first time how much it hurt to stand on one's tiptoes for an extended amount of time. For a kiss like that, she still would do it again and again any time.

"I should apologise for seizing you like that without your permission." He finally said when the retiring students' laughter and chattering had faded in the distance, then he took a step backwards to give Robin her space as well. "Who knew I could act like a dunderhead myself, given the chance."

"Oh, I knew." Robin couldn't help grinning as she stepped away from the wall, which earned her a small glare and a not-smirk. "And as much as I understand and appreciate your point, you do have my permission. Besides, where would be the point in suddenly pressing me against a wall and kissing me senseless if it came with a warning?"

Snape didn't look at her, but the corners of his lips were twitching and she could tell with utmost certainty that he was amused even though being rather flustered at the same time. It was surprisingly adorable, really, and made her wonder if he had never been in such a situation before. Well, not exactly the same situation, obviously, but still…

"I have wanted to do that for a long time now." He replied to her surprise, and his eyes were back on hers, dark and intense and every last idea of adorable was gone. Instead, his gaze made Robin shiver in delighted excitement. "But never would I have thought that it would be better than anything I was even vaguely able to imagine."

"You imagined kissing me?"

"More often than I should admit to, if I want to keep some last scraps of dignity at least."

"I've seen you lying in a muddy river before, as well as being stuck in a giant cobweb. And if that's not enough, we were just snogging in the hallways like the hormonal teenagers we scold for doing the very same. I think it's a bit too late to worry about your dignity with me." Robin chuckled, louder even when Snape rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, but her heart soared when he smiled again after all. "We really should get out of the hallways though, I'm tired of fearing people might run into us. I really don't see how the danger of getting caught can be appealing to someone, for me it's just nerve-wracking."

"I could not agree more."

After taking two seconds to straighten out their appearances just in case, they made their way through the gloomy darkness side by side like they had done so often by now, with the small but significant change that the accidental touches, the brushing of hands and bumping of arms were more intentional than not this time, and both knew it to be their fullest intention as well. Robin couldn't keep the grin off her face, but she bit her bottom lip to tone it down as much as possible. She hadn't felt so much giddy excitement in one night since… well, ever really. And when they walked right past the office, then past the lab as well, a liquid lightning ran from the top of her head down her spine to her very core and every cell beyond. These new rushes were only an additional layer to the bottomless adoration and affection that had been there for years now, to the deeply rooted love she held for him, but it was a heavenly addition nonetheless. It certainly gave the term 'allconsuming' an entirely new meaning, an inevitably deeper one.

It was only when Snape stopped in the crossing of hallways that on one end led to the common room and to his rooms on the other that Robin's smile faltered. With a confused frown she didn't bother to hide she came to a halt as well, looking up at him with the question clear as night in her eyes so she wouldn't have to say the words. It was safer than admitting to being as boldly assuming as she had been… somehow she hadn't doubted that they would at least have a coffee. Like always. Or… did he need space now, with everything that had happened? After all the days and nights they had spent together, he didn't really strike Robin as the kind of person who would need space, not from her. From others, yes, always if possible, but he hadn't sent her away in years, rather on the contrary really. So-...

"I don't know if this could be considered a good idea by any means." He said in a calm tone, reluctant almost while yet he reached out for Robin's hand and pulled her closer to himself. Always the contradiction, that man…

"And why wouldn't it be a good idea?" She asked in return, calm encouragement colouring her voice now that she knew the reason for his hesitation wasn't a sudden wish for distance. Indeed, as if to prove that point, he interlaced their fingers and drew her closer the last bit in a single move of gentle elegance.

"Because if you come with me right now, I won't let you leave again until we are late for breakfast." He replied quietly and yet in that intense sincerity that had Robin's heart skipping beats while her eyes were glued to his. Gods, he really did mean it… excitement struck her like lightning, her heartbeat posed the thunder.

"I can live with that." She managed to say in a breath, her lips curving up into a smile upon the repetition of his earlier words. Then they formed a smirk as she went on. "Bold of you to assume that I'll want to leave for breakfast though."

"Oh, I've never been partial to having three meals per day anyway."

His reply made Robin laugh, then smile up at him brightly and with just a hint of tease. "It's not such a bad idea after all, huh?"

"That would depend entirely on who you ask." He quirked an eyebrow at her with a not-smirk, then walked on down the hallway with a start while keeping hold of Robin's hand. She didn't need to be not-told twice to follow, and was again walking by his side when he spoke on. "I for my part cannot complain, and I honestly don't care about any other opinion but yours beyond that."

"Complaining wouldn't help you at this point anyway, because I have recently discovered the perfect way to bribe you."

"Is that so?"

"Open the door and I'll show you." Robin replied easily but with a teasing smirk no less once they reached his rooms in the bow of the hallway.

"Don't tempt me."

"Isn't that what a temptation is supposed to do?" She quipped while her smirk broadened. "Tempt?"

"You are insufferable."

"Or perhaps tease? Allure? Seduce? Ens-..." She didn't get further when she was pulled through the now open door and into the darkness behind it, barely catching how it was thrown shut again before she found herself tightly trapped against it from the inside. The grin that wanted to form on her lips died a broken second later when she got exactly what she wanted, and yet, as always, so much more.

His lips moved against hers in hunger, returning every bit of passion she gave, and yet there wasn't a hint of roughness in the kiss, no blunt strength which would taint the blissful sensuality. In a spark of boldness or bravery, Robin traced the tip of her tongue over his bottom lip, only for him to gasp against her lips in return. When she wrapped her arms around his neck and did the same thing again, the gasp turned into a silent moan and he pulled her with him away from the door, staggering through the darkness with a baffling certainty until one unfortunate movement of his hand over the hurting spot on Robin's back made her first hiss in pain, then flinch at the intensity of it. He let go of her immediately in return, and Robin's first fathomable thought was a silent curse directed at Morgan for being the cause of what had broken apart this moment. The stupid pain in her back.

"What did I do this time?" Snape asked in honest concern as well as subtle remorse, and a second later the fireplace lit up from a wordless spell, illuminating the remainder of the room in a gentle orange golden glow. They had almost reached the sofa by now, obviously having made their way there before the pain had put a stop to their plans.

"You did absolutely nothing wrong, I promise." Robin immediately gave him a small but reassuring smile, and held onto him so he wouldn't even think about moving away. "It's just that spot on my back that's still hurting ever since Morgan touched it, it really doesn't matter. Don't worry."

"Your back simply started hurting out of nowhere upon his touch during the dance? And he didn't speak a word?" Snape still inquired further, in lingering concern but quite obviously more at ease now that he knew it wasn't his doing that had hurt her at least. Robin had to smile at his sheer inability not to worry about her; it made her heart soar in warmth and adoration all the more. And seeing as he wouldn't stop asking, now that she had brought the mysterious pain to his attention, they might just have to deal with it right now.

"Not a word that was a spell, at least… and yes, he just traced his fingers over my back and that caused a strong stinging and burning that faded a moment later though. Now it hurts whenever someone even comes close to touching it. That's why I flinched so stupidly." She shrugged with a half smile. "Sorry for that."

"Don't apologise for what clearly isn't your fault. I should curse Morgan into oblivion for hurting you right in this instant… but I would rather take your pain away if I can." Snape sighed, then paused for a moment, lost in thought, before he finally spoke up again. "Did it hurt when your back hit the wall? Or the door? Or is it just a hand's touch that hurts?"

The question made Robin frown to herself; she hadn't considered that. The answer she came up with for herself then rendered her frown even deeper. "I believe it's just an actual human touch that causes me pain. It didn't hurt at all when I leaned against whatever surface, and neither does the dress make it sore or anything like that… But you and the girls could hurt me quite a bit by just touching any spot on my back. What does that mean?"

"I have a vague idea." He grumbled to himself at the thought of it, and Robin understood the sentiment only too well in this regard. "Can you touch it without pain?"

"I can try…" She mused and did just that, but even though she only barely could reach the spot with the back of her fingers when she twisted her arm enough, there should have been at least a little sting. But no, nothing, no pain at all. She frowned to herself again. "That's weird. I can't even precisely tell you where it is when it doesn't hurt… and I can touch it without pain. Perhaps it's nothing."

"Magical wounds should not be taken lightly, especially if inflicted by someone as irresponsible as Morgan. We should take you to the hospital wing."

"Or you could look at it here." Robin suggested easily, shrugging with one shoulder as she observed his reluctant but not averse expression. "You know more about the situation with Morgan, about what happened tonight and about me than anyone in the infirmary. I really don't mean to doubt their abilities at all, but I think if it's a magical thing of more or less unknown origin, it falls more into the dark arts anyway, which precisely is the point where I would prefer you to look at it. Who knows, maybe it really is nothing and we're through with it in two minutes… we could save ourselves the time of way. I have other plans for tonight than sitting around the infirmary with a bunch of punch-drunk students."

"Do you?" He couldn't help the smirk on his lips upon that, even though it was clear that he was trying to fight the short lived amusement due to the otherwise serious situation. At least it wasn't serious enough to warrant the complete absence of humour on his end, so that was a relief at least.

"Yeah, actually. I was hoping for a drink and the continuation of where we were interrupted, but I'm still open for further suggestions." She smiled up at him and he rolled his eyes, but the amusement stayed nonetheless, which sufficed to give Robin some more courage. They'd be through with this in no time, they always had been when she'd been injured. "Do you happen to know a spell to undo a million tiny buttons? I haven't found one yet, but if anyone knows such a thing, it would have to be you."

He let out an amused huff, then quirked an eyebrow at Robin. "I believe if there was such a spell, I would have discovered it by now. Every time I tried to invent one myself however, it led to the destruction of the garment rather than the desired result. Therefore I unfortunately have to disappoint you. Why do you ask?"

"Because it would have spared you work." She chuckled, somewhere between humour and embarrassment, the latter of which however she strongly tried to reason against. He'd seen her in various stages of undress over time, and it had never been a big deal. Or had it? Would he think differently of it now than he had over summer? Gods, why was she nervous now?! It wasn't even the kind of situation where she should be nervous, they were just trying to make sure that her back was alright, for heaven's sake! And she still stood with her point that she would rather have Snape looking at her injuries than anyone else, even in complete disregard to the most recent developments between them. This had nothing to do with that, it was just a coincidence. An oddly fitting one, going by the line of events.

Robin resisted the temptation to roll her eyes at herself and her antics and merely turned around so that her back was right in front of him, making an obvious point of what she wanted him to do. This wasn't a movie; plots didn't just fall into place like that. Two things could happen without any obvious correlation between them. She sighed, then focused on the task at hand. "Perhaps I should've worn a dress with a zipper like everyone else, huh? Then again, I wasn't really expecting anyone having to undress me tonight."

She didn't need to look at him to know that he was hesitating, and if she was honest, she couldn't really blame him. Truth was that things were different now, or could be different now, and it was uncharted territory for both of them. Either of them was uncertain what to make of it, afraid to make a wrong move. At least it brought some peace and relief to her mind that he obviously was just as insecure as she was in this new and yet so very familiar moment of innocent intimacy. Even though things like this had happened in the plenty over summer already.

"We're just looking at my back for the damage Morgan did yet again… Just like the times he dislocated my shoulder, or cut open my hand, or-... well, you know what I mean. You've seen me torn up and bloody before, and we've always taken care of it. And I know for a fact that your hands aren't cold, so there really is nothing to worry about, right?" She said in a calm, almost soothing voice, both to him and herself, and contrary to what she had thought, it actually caused an overwhelming wave of ease and comfort to wash over her when he finally started with the first button in the back of her neck. When his fingers brushed against her skin however, her breathing hitched nonetheless while goosebumps covered her skin within a broken second. Perhaps this wasn't entirely like it had been over summer… But comfort and excitement were what it caused yet again, and that really seemed to be a reoccurring theme with them. Their own perfect ambivalence. Home and adventure at once.

It didn't take long at all until the buttons were open down to her waist, just far enough so she could slip the spiky and stiff shoulder parts off her arms, which left her to clutch the front of her dress to her chest quite a bit more tightly than necessary. Robin blamed the neckline of her dress for making her forsake any kind of bralette… It left her upper body entirely bare now, and that in return was the reason why she was clutching the front of the dress to her chest. But then again, she didn't really mind it too much if she was being honest with herself. Having an excuse to show some skin… forcing her to be bolder than she was… it really was terribly exciting for some stupid reason. A lucky coincidence, even if a bit poorly timed. Most of all however, Robin liked the reaction she was getting from the man behind her, judged by the fact that his heartbeat had doubled in speed by the time her back was exposed to him almost entirely. There it was again, that overwhelming excitement that came with the power she seemed to have over him… the knowledge that her mere being did such things to him. But they were just looking at her back for the spellwork done on her, and she gave herself a mental slap to stop pondering how they could go on from there. Unrelated situations, and all that…

"So… how does it look?" She finally asked in a surprising calmness, considering that her every sense was heightened to the extreme. Gods, she wanted him to touch her skin again, even if it would hurt… No, bad thought, bad Robin! There was work to do, and she was getting distracted!

"Like three hand-length cuts that seem to have scarred. Did you ever notice those before? They look far older than just a few hours." He mused in return, then carefully pulled Robin closer to the fireplace by her elbow. She didn't resist and merely walked backwards blindly until she was in the direct light of the fire, and thereby also in the reach of its warmth. He stopped her there, and for a moment she wondered if he needed the light or if he had just noticed the goosebumps on her skin. Duh, obviously he had… they were hard to miss, even if they weren't at all caused by the cold. Either way, his hand lingered on her arm, and that was even more welcome than the fire's warmth.

"Actual scars? I don't think I've had them before, no. And truth be told, you probably would've seen them before if they had been there for longer." She finally remembered to reply, then frowned to herself. "And in addition to that, I can't remember ever getting severely injured on the back. Other than the thing with the bludger in fifth year, that is… I never really knew exactly how badly I hurt myself there, and I never dared to ask."

"Badly enough to have me terrified of your impending death."

"Oops…" She breathed rather lamely, then chuckled to herself almost apologetically. "I guess passing out in the infirmary right in front of your eyes didn't help much with that."

"No. Neither did it prepare me for the instance last summer where you actually came close to death when you passed out on my doorstep." He said in a sigh, then the hand on Robin's arm vanished as he spoke on. "Let us ensure that it won't happen again and find out what that pest of a man did to you this time. Tell me when the pain becomes noticeable, yes?"

Robin only hummed in agreement, and jumped a second later when he placed a hand on her shoulder this time, in a gentle touch that had her melting right on the spot. Slowly and with just enough pressure to be noticeable at all, his fingers danced across her skin, down to her shoulder blade and over her spine, tracing three lines at last with a bit more pressure. Robin had to bite her lip to keep in both a sigh of bliss and a whimper of pain. For some odd reason these two were currently very hard to tell apart in that they both caused an echo of his touch, a heat pulsing through her in the rhythm of her heartbeat.

"Didn't that hurt at all?" He asked with a frown practically ingrained in his tone, as well as confusion in the plenty, and Robin had to call defeat to circumstance.

"Oh. Yes, it did. Sorry, I really should have said something." She admitted in a quiet voice, then got a grasp of herself and continued on a little louder. "But I didn't want you to stop, so I kind of… forgot speech over the overwhelming feeling of having your touch on my back at all."

"You do make it very difficult for me to focus on the problem at hand when you say things like that."

His words brought a smile to Robin's face as it suddenly eradicated the nervousness, and she was only glad that he couldn't see it. "I'm sorry."

"You're not."

"True, I'm not." She couldn't help chuckling at her own half-hearted attempt to fool him, and even more at his trenchant ability to see right through her. "But I'll try to focus on the problem now instead of how amazing your hands feel on my skin."

"Robin…" He warned her quietly, but she could still hear the smirk in his voice, and that's when she couldn't help laughing.

"It's really not my fault!" She protested, and almost would've dropped her arms in a grand gesture if she hadn't remembered just why she was holding her dress in place in the very last second. This entire situation was as ridiculous as it was dangerous as it was wonderful. "You try focusing on anything beyond the tingles when your entire body is a goddamn wildfire!"

"I am trying right now, and you're not making it any easier. The sight of you alone is distracting enough."

"Just that little bit of skin is supposedly doing to you what your touch does to me? Sorry, but I sincerely doubt it."

"You shouldn't." He replied entirely seriously now, and the mere tone of his voice was enough to make Robin shiver again. "It does not take naked skin or fancy gowns for me to think of you as far more than simply ‘delectable’. You are nothing short of the most breathtaking creature I have ever been blessed to see, to stay with the trivial matter of physical appearance for once. But indeed, while I could not care less for others' looks and garments, you never fail to enchant me entirely with any of yours, and seeing as I have previously not had the opportunity to see quite so much of your skin, it does affect me quite strongly now at long last."

Robin's heart skipped a beat, then set into a steady gallop that made it delightfully hard to breathe. But for some reason, the words on her lips did not care for that at all. "You make it very difficult for me to focus on the problem at hand when you say things like that." She mirrored his statement, smiling to herself at the thought. "But do you actually mean it or are you just trying to get revenge on me by equal terms?"

"Both, obviously, but the latter is rather a lucky side effect of the former. And since we are discussing it already, you can call me blind if you will, but I do actually find your hair very attractive on any day, especially because it is a perfect mess." He answered easily, while his fingers continued to trace irregular patterns over the injured part of her back that seemed to hurt more and more by the minute. "Even though I very much appreciate the recent absence of the pineapple scent."

Robin found that she didn't mind the pain, especially not when his reference to her words from earlier this evening as well as the dreaded pineapple made her laugh, and the knowledge that he did, in fact, mean all of those things he'd said made her skin tingle pleasantly. He never made shallow compliments; when he deliberately said something nice for once, one could be sure that he meant it to the fullest.

"I think that might be among the loveliest things you have ever said to me." She smiled after a moment, when her soaring heart would let her speak up through the haze of emotions. "Directly said to me, that is. You say a lot of nice things when you don't mean to."

"Don't get used to it. What a crazy world would we be living in if I started saying nice things regularly now… It would entirely destroy the efficiency and purpose of my compliments." He scoffed in obvious sarcasm and tease, while placing his second hand on her shoulder to keep her in place for whatever he was doing.

"You're an idiot, Sev-..." Robin's words and laughter were cut off with a start when Snape placed his other hand directly on the hurting spot on her back, with quite a bit more pressure than before. It caused a pain far too strong for any measure to ripple through her every sense, and a well of tears to spring to her eyes in return. "Ouch! God damn and bloody hell…"

"I might be an idiot, but an idiot who can focus far better when we banter as usual. That seems to have become somewhat of a precondition for me to be able to work efficiently." He returned, then removed his hands from her entirely before he spoke on in a much more tainted tone. "I apologise for having to hurt you, but in order to undo the spell before it became even more dangerous, that unfortunately was inevitable. Now however, the pain should be gone once and for all in just a moment."

"Wait, you… you know what Morgan did to me and just… undid it like that?" Robin turned around to face him with a deep frown creasing her brows in an instant. "Is that what you were doing while we talked?"

"Yes."

"And you didn't bother telling me?! At least a little warning, perhaps?"

"I had the choice between distracting you by making you laugh and thereby forget about the pain I was unfortunately causing in the process, or to further said pain even more by talking about Morgan and his vile doings." He replied so easily that it made perfect sense now, that it appeared to be the most obvious solution ever. "As you see, it wasn't even a choice to be made."

"Not as far as I can tell, at least."

"Let's find out for sure then, shall we?"

______________________________

Tags:

@ayamenimthiriel @chibi-lioness @t-sunnyside @alex4555 @purpledragonturtles @istrugglewithphilosophy @meghan-maria @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall @darkestacademiaaa @nizem8 @girilimoni

General Tags:

66 notes · View notes

lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

Text

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.27}

*Severus Snape x OC*

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

Robin nodded into his shoulder, unable to speak without making a fool of herself, and a moment later her back touched the surface of the bed, soft linen sheets grazing the naked skin on her legs so lightly her breathing hitched in return. But when Snape pulled back after putting her down, withdrawing from her grasp way too soon, she couldn't help but refuse to loosen her hold on him in return, refuse to let him leave her, and all it took was a little tug on his shoulders to make him lose his balance and fall forward. A tiny smirk found its way onto Robin's lips in an instant; He really should have seen that coming now, shouldn't he? He'd known Robin long enough to.

And yet a faint gasp escaped his lips as he barely caught himself on his forearms, framing her entire body and keeping her down as he couldn't help staring at her face with that look of startled awe now rawly showing in every of his features. He really hadn't seen it coming… but there was no denying that the surprise had been a pleasant one. A liquid lightning struck Robin's heart again, then roared through her in waves of racing heartbeats. It really was the way he looked at her that said all there was to be told, all focus and overwhelming intensity, and she didn't dare blinking to not lose a single second of what she hoped to be seeing for the rest of forever.

It was only when he started breathing again that her attention was drawn to all the little things that made up their current reality as well. His hair was falling down onto her like a black waterfall, tickling the sides of her face enough to draw another smile to her lips as she raised her hand in a vain attempt to brush it out of his face at least. She liked seeing his features way too much to leave them hidden. Then the way he was supporting his own weight on one knee between her legs, making her wish he wouldn't put so much space between them, but she also couldn't quite mind the way it made her yearn for him all the more. With her hand still caressing the side of his face, she pulled him down to her slowly enough to leave him a choice, but he seemed only too happy to submit to her silent lead, and her smile was claimed by his lips the briefest moment later.

There still was that space between them however, too much, too far, and his warmth drew her in like a moth to the flame in the cold now more than ever. Robin's back arched off the bed as her mind no longer reigned over her body, barely reaching up enough to feel his heartbeat in her chest, chasing her own to new heights and new depths at once. It drew a low moan from him that seemed as involuntary a response as hers had been, while the arm wrapping around her waist at the given opportunity was very much intentional. His hold on her tightened, her fingers dug deeper into his shoulder blades, and everything between space and time ceased to exist as it made way for matters beyond dimensions.

When Robin eventually managed to pry her eyes open, when they had to part to breathe and his arm next to her head started to quiver, she took notice of the darkness around them that had grown to extinct even the last of the fire's golden glow. How long had passed? Without dimensions, more was gained then that time was never lost.

"It must be terribly late…" She breathed, in careful observation of the brushes of silver moonlight that now fell through the window behind them and reflected in the depth of the onyx eyes gazing down at her. If at all, she had only ever known beauty as serene as this in paintings and distant dreams.

"Or terribly early, depending on the perspective." He replied in equal quietness, but with an easy amusement to his tone that had Robin smiling again in an instant. "Are you tired?"

"Very. You?"

"I'm afraid so. I can stay on the sofa, if you wish."

"No you can't." Robin protested in a huff and held onto him even more tightly to put emphasis on her point. "I won't let you as much as consider such an inane thing. Didn't you say once that you sleep better when I'm near you?"

"I did."

"And don't you enjoy being like this? Close to me?"

"I do."

"Then I don't see why you would have to be anywhere but right where you are. Stay here with me."

"I will." His lips quirked up for but a second, as he seemed to be thoroughly amused by her flawless and insistent line of argument. "But you surely can manage a mere five minutes without my presence, can't you? I would hate to sleep in my dress shirt and trousers."

Robin had to snort, then rolled her eyes exaggeratedly up at him in equal teasing sarcasm. "Fine. But I'm counting."

Her words brought a not-smirk to his lips, and she did let him pull back then indeed to go and change. While he moved down the steps and vanished in the bathroom two seconds later, Robin sat up on the bed and took a few deep breaths to realign with reality. Yet nothing changed, she was still sitting on Snape's bed on top of the covers, brushed in fading moonlight and unadulterated happiness. The smile on her lips broadened, purest brightness and comfort, into a grin she couldn't tone down even if she tried. For a moment she looked out the window, looking but not seeing really, until the sound of the door falling shut made her turn around. Now it was rather the opposite; no matter how long she stared through the darkness and observed his movements, all she could see were too few flashes of pale skin as he exchanged the dress shirt for a t-shirt and the trousers for flannels. The smirk was on her lips before her mind even properly thought out the reason for her amusement.

"Any particular reason why you would ogle me like that?" He inquired in feigned scorn, more a tease than a question, but it made Robin chuckle nonetheless.

"Hey, you ogled me plenty tonight. It's only fair, really, that I return the favour now."

"Fair enough."

"Nice choice of sleepwear, by the way. Oddly familiar." She smirked at him while he made his way back towards her at last. "I have always wondered what you wear at night when I'm not around."

"Have you, really?" He raised an eyebrow at her, but couldn't help his amusement as he leaned against one of the bed posts and looked down at her with a smirk. "I never had much left to imagine. But I must admit that I was quite irritated when I first discovered that we prefer the same type of pajamas."

"Is that why you looked so horrified back then?"

"No, I think that was rather due to the saucepan you attacked me with."

"Right…" Robin laughed, shaking her head to herself at the memory. It was both relieving and odd to be laughing now about what probably still was one of the darkest nights of her life. But that was in the past, and the present was now. With a soft sigh, she climbed under the covers at last and couldn't suppress the immediate chattering of her teeth that followed upon the sudden coldness of the fabrics. She laid down nonetheless, on the window side of the bed where she had woken up that one time weeks ago, turned towards the middle and curled into a ball to keep at least some warmth in her body. Snape however merely kept looking down at her with the most enigmatic expression, and she quirked an eyebrow up at him in return. "What?"

"I am dreaming, am I not? And in a moment I will wake up alone and cold like always, and everything will only have been a construct of my imagination and wishful thinking. Like always." He said in an easy yet remorseful sigh, and something about his words made Robin sadder than she could bear right now. In an instant she was in front of him again, up on her knees and with her arms wrapped around his shoulders as tightly as she could. With her entire weight she pulled him down onto the bed with her and he didn't protest, only wrapped his arms around her waist in return so that they lay in a tight embrace of racing hearts and tangled limbs.

"I'm not a dream, and neither are you." She mumbled into the crook of his neck where she kept her face buried in his t-shirt and hair. "I don't think it's possible for a dream to make me feel so passionately and intensely alive. Only you do that, the real you. That's how I know this is real… because dreams could never make me feel the things you do. Perhaps, in a way, you know what I mean."

"I do." He replied in a low drawn out breath, then his hold on her tightened to an almost painful degree for a short moment only. "You are real… as real as I am. You have to be."

"I am." She breathed, a small smile rising back to her lips along with an almost unbearable wave of affection. Perhaps it was the lateness of the hour, the dark of night, or this deep down fear of his she also recognized in herself… but she couldn't help pulling back just enough to lay her head down on the pillow next to his and look at him with every last bit of emotion clearly written out on her face.

"I am real… As is my love for you." Her words were only a whisper, and yet they managed to fill the entire room with the striking intensity of all the universe's greatest answers at once. For a moment he only held her gaze in return, not speaking, not breathing, and Robin almost smiled at the thought that she had once again managed to leave the great Severus Snape entirely speechless. Had he really not known that, after everything that had been tonight and all the years before? Either way, she would say it as many times as it would take for him to believe her, and then as often as he would let her after that. "I love you, Severus. With all the intensity and passion you know me to be capable of."

"Why me? You could have anyone you want." He finally said in words of quiet wonder, words that now came freely from the deepest and most guarded corners of his being. "I do not deserve your passion, nor your love."

"You're the only one who does. The only one I ever wanted to give it to." She returned that kindest of smiles she always had reserved for him, as his words did only serve to make him all the more deserving of all there was for her to give. "It's entirely yours either way. And so am I."

"You are... so much more than anyone could ever deserve, and you deserve far more than I can give you in return." He stated in the most serious sincerity, in admiration but not a spark of doubt. "I know I am not good enough for you, Robin. But I promise to you that I will never stop trying to be."

Silent seconds trickled by, for now it was her who was rendered absolutely speechless, breathless to a haze, unable to do anything but watch the calm sincerity in his eyes light up and dance in relentless flames. He was absolutely serious about every word he said, every single thing he did. He must be, if he made a promise like this in the first place. And he had promised indeed. If this was the everything he was ready to give, it was bigger, better, brighter than any universe could ever be. If Robin was the answer yet unasked for, he was both universe and question. He was already giving her so much more than she thought she could ever have, and yet he was dead set on trying to be better. For her. A shiver ran all over Robin's body while her throat closed up with a lump, but she willed it all away with a rising smile of .

"I thought you don't make promises." She said the first words that came to her mind, and her heart soared when the corner of his lips quirked up in return.

"I do to you." He replied in deepest ease, and even though he did not say more than that, Robin could feel in the back of her mind just how much he loved her in return; how when he said he would never stop trying, he inevitably declared his utmost dedication. She knew, because he wanted her to know. As always, he was saying the most important things without saying a single word at all.

Smiling now to answer just the same, to let him know all there was to know, feel in much the same way he had let her feel, she finally curled up around him once again, and closed her eyes at last with her head resting on his shoulder. This was incredible. And yet this was terrifyingly, beautifully real. A soft sigh escaped her lips, a drawing of breath and life to start. "Who needs dreams when one can have a reality like this."

"Who needs reality when one can have you."

"Smooth, even for you." She chuckled softly, then hummed when he started drawing small circles on her back again. It lured her closer into sleep's warm haze within seconds, but perhaps it simply was the closeness, or him. Incredible, terrifyingly beautiful.

A humored huff, yet followed by gentle lips brushing against her forehead. "I try."

… … …

Robin woke up to too much light when her eyes fluttered open, too much brightness and a gloomy white. With a small frown, she squeezed them shut again. She was lying on her side to face the large window, undoubtedly the source of the dreaded brightness, but that really was the only thing she could possibly complain about. Everything else was pure warmth and calm and comfort, perfection in its essence if anyone had asked her, something even better if she was not asked to put it into words.

The main reason for that allconsuming happiness lay currently curled around her, snugly pressed against her entire backside as his slow breathing threatened to lure her straight back to sleep as well. A small smile tugged on her lips; he was impossibly warm, warmer than she had ever thought any human being could be, but yet he was, in all the best of ways that promised nothing but safety and comfort. She had never thought that waking up with someone you love would be quite this exquisite. His face was buried in her neck, soft breaths brushing against her heated skin just so that it tickled pleasantly. One of his legs was tugged between her own, and every time either of them moved no matter how little, the fabric of his flannels caressed her skin in a juxtaposition to the linen sheets below and above their bodies. Robin could've sworn they had fallen asleep on top of the covers last night, while now however the heavy fabrics were pulled up almost to her chin to keep out the morning-chilled dungeon air. Not that coldness even was a thing on her mind currently, her skin was positively searing wherever it came in contact with his. Most prominent was one of his hands that lay splayed out across her stomach where her shirt had ridden up, spanning almost all across and barely grazing her hip bones as he held her close. Robin's heart skipped a beat, and she smiled at the realization that he most likely would have moved his hand to safer territories if he had been awake enough to; still she hoped he wouldn't even then. This was incredible, the way he still held her so close even while in the depth of sleep. It made her feel incredibly loved, so much so that she couldn't even bring herself to tease him about it later, even if he surely would do just that if it had been the other way around. One thing was for certain though: she wouldn't mind waking up like this every morning yet to come.

When the allure of going back to sleep wouldn't cease even after a few minutes, she finally gave in and buried her head in the soft pillow beneath her for some more minutes of comfortable darkness and slumber. Screw what time it was, screw breakfast at seven thirty… if Snape could still sleep, so could she. They deserved this little time of peace to themselves before going back to a world that would never accept all there was between them. But Robin could in all honesty not care any less about what anyone else thought. This was precisely what she had wanted for years on end now. And it was absolutely bloody perfect.

… … …

A tickling on her face was what lifted sleep's haze for the second time, and caresses as light as a feather all over her back brought her closer to an actual waking state. Breathing deeply, she smiled at the familiar scent that long was the essence of home to her, then wrinkled her nose when the movement tickled even more on her skin. When her eyes opened at last, she found no brightness but the very opposite, strands of raven hair surrounding her face and inevitably explaining the tickling sensations. Her smile broadened, but she didn't say a thing and merely hid her face deeper in his chest while the patterns on her back continued, even as she shifted closer on instinct.

"I can tell that you are quite awake, you know…" He said in subtle amusement, and Robin heard his voice both as a rumbling echo in his chest and an almost soft sound filling the quiet room.

"Good morning to you too." She replied with a sarcastic smile to the grumble of her voice, then took another deep breath and finally pulled back just far enough to look up at him while stifling a yawn. "Calling me 'awake' is a bit exaggerated though, wouldn't you say?"

"And what do you suggest we do about that?"

"I just so happen to have an idea in mind." She returned his small smirk for a second only, then the kiss she had quite obviously prompted for was finally granted to her without further efforts. Just like the day before, it started oh so slowly but was inevitably destined to grow. Yes, this was most definitely addicting.

"Can we do this every morning?" Robin finally asked, a small but happy chuckle escaping her lips as she took deep breaths to calm down her heart and wake up her mind. Gods, kissing was a workout.

She was lying on her stomach now, propped up on her elbows on the pillow, and she once more had to admit that looking down at Snape had quite its appeal. Looking at him in general, really. The way his cheeks were surprisingly flushed, hair splayed out all around him like a black halo, quirking an eyebrow up at her like always… it was a sight to behold. A sight she wanted to see every morning indeed.

"As tempted as I am to say yes, you know as well as I do that it would be too dangerous. Even more so than the late nights we have fallen into over the past few weeks." He sighed in return, almost a little remorseful and clearly not content with his answer either.

"Dumbledore only said to keep it behind closed doors, and honestly I don't know a single door in this castle that has more wards to keep it closed than yours." Robin protested mildly, but of course she understood his point. Knew it perfectly well even. They were in a difficult place at the moment, and even if Dumbledore turned a blind eye to them, other people would certainly not be so gracious. She sighed in defeat. "However, I unfortunately agree. We shouldn't do this every morning, not yet at least. Perhaps some day when we won't have to worry about other people anymore… perhaps then we can do this every morning."

"Obviously. For as long as you will bear with me." His reply had that ease to it again that made Robin smile, her skin tingle and her heart skip a beat. She could bear half a year of difficulty for all the time to come together after that. Obviously he could, too.

"And until then? What shall I do about all those sleepless nights, all those cold mornings that would be better spent with you?" She asked with a small smirk, teasing more than asking, for she knew that they would never be able to truly refrain from repeating last night's events anyway. Not entirely, at least. Not when both of them had gotten the first good night's sleep in eternities last night.

"I believe you have recently discovered the perfect way to bribe me." He finally couldn't keep the small smirk off his lips, nor his hand from reaching out to play with a stray curl of hers. "You can always make an effort to convince me to let you stay after a long night in the lab or the office."

"I have a vague idea that bribing you shouldn't be too hard these days."

"We will see about that. Humour me by trying though, yes?"

"I will."

"I know."

… … …

It was ten minutes after lunch had started when Robin finally entered the great hall, positively out of breath for entirely different reasons for once. After Snape and her had realized just what time it was a little less than ten minutes ago, they begrudgingly had gotten out of bed and more or less ready to face the world. She had used every hidden passageway and every shadowy corner upon that to get back to her dorm unseen, before anyone would catch her still wearing her ball gown. They hadn't really thought about that last night… there had been more important matters after all.

To her luck, the dorms were practically deserted during lunchtime, and thus she could sneak all the way into her room in no time and finally change into some ordinary jeans and a jumper. Hair thrown back into a messy bun and secured with her wand, she was ready to head back out eight minutes past lunchtime. Fuck… at least they wouldn't be arriving at the same time if she was running late. Later than him, at least.

And indeed, when Robin hurried along the aisle in the great hall towards where her friends were seated at the Slytherin table today, Snape was already in his usual spot at the head table and raising an eyebrow at her in feigned reproach, probably for being late. She almost would've laughed out loud; as if he wasn't the very reason for that! Insufferable idiot…

"Hey guys." Robin sighed when she finally dropped down on the bench, perched now between Jorien and Gideon. "Sorry I'm late, I got caught up in something and forgot the time… You know me."

"Aye, the woman in black shows up at last!" Gideon nudged her in the side with a smirk. "We thought you'd perhaps gotten lost somewhere."

"I did, in my own head as always." She shrugged in feigned ease, then eyed the others on the other side of the table. They all looked well rested, happy and not too bothered by her previous absence. Good.

"If anyone's working on new year's day, it would have to be Robin." Michael shook his head with a snort. "You're a real workaholic, you know?"

Robin just smiled and shrugged again. They weren't wrong, really, and there was no need to rectify something that wasn't even untrue. If things hadn't turned out like they had, she probably would have spent the morning with work indeed. Her easy answers and nonchalant behavior seemed to suffice as a distraction though, and half a minute later everyone was as engrossed in a conversation about their plans for the afternoon as they were in their meals.

"The boys asked about your whereabouts during breakfast, you know… After they noticed that Snape wasn't there either." Jorien commented quietly, turning to Robin so that nobody would overhear, but the rest of the group was far too caught up in their own conversations to listen to the two girls anyway. "I made a point of enumerating every student and professor I know who wasn't present, to prove a point. That made them shrug it off, but you really should consider going to breakfast next time. One of you, at least."

"I hadn't realized that anyone might draw a connection between that… We've both been absent so often for entirely different reasons than this one now." Robin replied in sincere surprise about why people would start to notice that of all things, now of all times. She'd given up trying to keep things from Jorien, seeing as it wouldn't work anyway, but that was about as public as her whereabouts of this morning ought to become. "Thank you for keeping them off my heels though. I very much appreciate it."

"Of course I'm having your back! You've had ours for four years now, and you did save my life, I won't forget that either." The girl gave Robin a pointed look, then started smirking and lowered her voice even more. "So tell me, how was it?"

"How was what?" Robin's brows furrowed, and she took a bite of her vegetables even though she really shouldn't have.

"You know… The only 'it' I won't name in public." Jorien raised her eyebrows at Robin, an image of innocence and mischief alike, and Robin started coughing desperately when her meal hit the wrong pipe.

"You-... I, no, I mean-, we didn't…" She was torn between turning beet red, coughing and frowning deeply at the girl in front of her, until she could finally breathe again and put two and two together. This wasn't a Jorien question… not really. "You just wanted to get me all flustered in public, didn't you?"

"I must say it worked quite wonderfully."

"You-…" Robin's jaw dropped, but then she just had to smile and shake her head to herself nonetheless. The girl was playing with fire, but she couldn't even blame her for it. "You might know my one weakness now, but don't doubt for a second that I too know a fair amount of yours. I've been playing this game for far longer than you, Jorien."

"I know. But you've taught me well."

"Too well, it seems."

"Hey, who will do your job as swot number one around here when you're gone in half a year, huh?" She laughed, quirking an eyebrow at Robin in both humour and honesty. "I need to practice with the number one expert!"

"You'll do the job every honour, that's for sure." Robin sighed with a smile, and a small part of her thought it sad that she had a mere half year of school left. Then again, there was so much to look forward to afterwards. Either way, it was time for a change of topic. "So, when does your work with McGonagall start?"

"Once term resumes."

"Lucky you. Getting on the deputy headmistress' good side will certainly open some doors for you."

"It's not about that for me."

"I know. It never was for me either." Robin's smile broadened, as she thought back to her first days of assisting Snape. "You'll do great if you do you. She will be proud of you, don't worry."

"Who will do what with whom, when and why?" Cas suddenly barged into the conversation, and in return everyone else started to listen again as well. Oh well… at least they hadn't overheard the start of it, only the end.

"You'll finish your lunch now instead of talking poor Simon's ear off, because I'll strangle you in his place if you don't." Robin was quick to reply with a not-smirk directed at Cas, then continued on with her own lunch as well.

"I don't mind, actually. I love to listen." Simon shrugged, giving both girls a small smile that made Cas grin and Robin roll her eyes.

"Yeah, sure, stab me in the back, why not…" Robin sighed in feigned disappointment and indifferent sarcasm, then gave Simon an equally exaggerated glare. "I won't try to save you again, pal."

"I don't think he needs any saving." Gideon grinned, looking first at Simon and then at Cas while wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah, never underestimate the lengths to which a man in love would go." Michael added with a chuckle, then a smirk. "Even if it's listening to Cas."

"Hey!" Cas complained in an instant, but when everyone else couldn't help laughing, she finally gave in and simply laughed along with them. After all, it really was a happy new year. Yet.

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

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{For yesterday whose heart I broke, for everyone tomorrow}

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

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Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.34}

*Severus Snape x OC*

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 3.3k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

As was to be expected, they didn't come across anyone on their way back down to the ground level, where they parted ways to see matters through more quickly now. Snape went ahead to get Robin's belongings from the office and then proceeded to his rooms already, perhaps starting on the parchments if there was time. Robin meanwhile went into the opposite direction for now, to collect the girls from the astronomy tower and return them to their dorm. They'd been up in the cold long enough at this point, and she also needed them to confirm her alibi that wasn't quite what they thought tomorrow morning. Everything else would look suspicious.

"You've got twenty seconds before I'm up there, so better hide what you don't want me to see." She called up the stairs in advance to ascending them, after she'd locked the door to the tower behind herself, just to give the girls a fair warning and evade the possibility of having to scold them. Then she made her quick way up the tower and soon was met by four innocently smiling faces. Four, because obviously Jorien had somehow managed to find her way to this little gathering as well once she'd been done with her work.

Surprised, Robin quirked an eyebrow at the girl in question. "How did you get up here?"

"I told McGonagall that you'd sent us all up here to do something important for you, and she let me know that the door would be locked and how to open it." Jorien shrugged easily, but with a bright smile up at Robin. "Now you're not the only one anymore who knows how to open classrooms."

"Congratulations." Robin huffed in irony, and obvious amusement over the girl's excitement. Then again… when she'd first learned the spell herself, she had been quite excited as well. It didn't matter now, she had an alibi to construct. "Either way, I'm back now, so you won't have to hold watch anymore. Thank you though, all of you, for helping me."

"You're most welcome. It was our pleasure, and I'm sure the boys will freak out when they hear about all this tomorrow!" Cas grinned in an instant, but still none of the girls made any move to get up.

"C'mon then, we should all be heading back down into the dungeons. It's nearing one o'clock if I'm not mistaken, and I don't want to be responsible for any casualties tonight." Robin added on after a moment of having all four girls grinning at her with too much mischief on their faces.

"Actually…" Cas started innocently, and Robin already knew this wasn't going to end well for her. "We were hoping that you'd play a round of truth or dare with us. We were just in the middle of that when you came back, and it's a Saturday after all. Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Guys…" Robin sighed in nigh defeat when all four girls looked up at her with desperately hopeful expressions. "Another time, okay? I really don't have the energy nor the mindset for that right now."

"Oh, but we've been waiting for you to come back and sit with us all night!" Cas whined, making the best puppy dog eyes she was capable of. "You'll be gone soon and then we can't have any girl nights at all anymore, not with you at least, and you've never even had a real one! Pleaseeee…"

"Cas…"

"Please Robin, it's not even that late… And you're done with your challenge now, aren't you? Surely you have ten minutes to play a game with us before you go on to do whatever important thing you have going on this time." Melissa picked right up where Cas had stopped, much to Robin's dismay.

"We don't want to hold you up long, really…" Lisa added more carefully. "But we've all really been hoping that you would play a round with us at least."

"We have so little time left with you still here at school." Cas took over the argument again, still looking at Robin almost reproachfully. "You deserve some fun memories! We all do, together…"

When nobody else made an attempt to add any more words of protest, Robin closed her eyes for a second to fight the urge to cry out in frustration. Gods, didn't they understand that she had more important things to do than to play a stupid little game?! Of course they didn't… how could they after all? All they knew was that she was their friend, and that she spent ridiculously little time with them nonetheless. They really did deserve better than yet another adult in their lives who kept on choosing other, more important things over them. Robin had seen enough of that behaviour in her own parents to know how much it could hurt. Perhaps that's why she couldn't make herself say no now.

"Fine." She said instead, more tersely than intended, but it would have to do. "Ten minutes will be alright." With that she dropped down on the blanket they had spread on the ground, and elegantly crossed her legs underneath her while keeping her eyes on the girls around her.

"Alright, if we just have ten minutes then we will have to change the rules a little." Cas was quick to clap her hands with a gleeful smile. "The four of us take turns asking Robin questions, and if you don't want to or can't answer one, then we all have to answer a question of yours in return. Would that be amenable?"

"I honestly don't care." Robin sighed, but her indifference passed by the girls unnoticed. "You have ten minutes, and in those I will comply with anything you make me do. After that however you will return to the dorms with me without protest."

"Agreed." Cas grinned, and Melissa and Lisa nodded eagerly in return. Only Jorien currently seemed to prefer spectating over participating, but Robin let her be, in the knowledge that she would oblige without protest either way.

"Go on then, ask me all you please." Robin said, keeping her back straight and her hands calmly clasped in her lap. "Not that you couldn't do that at any other point as well, but since you obviously prefer this game format, get started then."

For the first few minutes, the girls asked only questions Robin had no problems answering. She didn't deem her answers particularly interesting, but the girls seemed quite content with their game, so she kept on patiently obliging to their every inquiry. It wasn't terrible, but certainly holding her up longer than she had time for currently. Snape wouldn't be all too concerned by her delay, seeing as she'd already told him when they'd parted that the girls most likely wouldn't be brought back down into the dungeons without a discussion. The problem was rather that she currently couldn't focus on much but the sheets of parchment down in the dungeons that likely held the answers to her future.

"Next question!" Cas announced with mischievous grandeur, then turned to her right. "Melissa's turn, isn't it?"

The girl nodded, then thought for a second, and finally smiled broadly. Obviously the topics were about to change from easy to hard now. "Do you have a crush on someone?"

"No."

"Are you currently in a romantic relationship?" Cas asked, obviously based on her prior knowledge and the previous question, and Robin would have glared at her if she hadn't been too tired to.

"Yes." She simply said instead, keeping her facades neutral as ever. Cas, Melissa and Lisa seemed to be rather taken aback by the honest reply in an instant, while Jorien however merely gave Robin a very subtle smile. The girl definitely knew way more than she had told anyone, and Robin was honestly glad for that.

"What is one thing you love, and one thing you don't like about your boyfriend?" Lisa was next to ask, and her question took Robin a few seconds to think about, and even longer not to cringe over. Somehow, the term 'boyfriend' seemed terribly inappropriate to her ears.

"I love who he is. And I don't like that nobody actually knows who he is. In every sense of the statement." She finally replied, which made the three girls frown, but they didn't get to dwell on it.

"Have you ever committed a crime, and if yes, was it by muggle or wizarding standards of legality?" Jorien asked before anyone else could comment on Robin's previous answer.

"Yes." Robin didn't even need to think about the answer to that one. "And both." Again, jaws dropped and eyes went wide.

"What crimes did you commit?" It was Melissa's turn again, and she went straight on with Jorien's clever diversion. "If it's too many, name a muggle one and a magical one."

"A muggle one would be breaking into a gym on multiple occasions. A magical one would be messing with time."

"Have you ever stripped for anyone?" Of course it was Cas again who had to ask a question that was so vague and intimate it would've made Robin blush if it wasn't for her facades.

"Specify." She returned instead, in an attempt to thereby make things better somehow.

"Have you ever willingly undressed for another person who's not you?"

"Specify."

"Gods, Robin, what's so hard to understand about that?! Have you ever taken off your clothes so that another person could look at your body?"

"Yes. And you probably have as well, in the infirmary, at some point." Robin replied neutrally, and Cas only rolled her eyes but went with the vague answer nonetheless.

"What was your first kiss like?" Lisa was next, and that question wasn't even too bad, in Robin's opinion.

"Nerve-wracking. Intimidating. Unexpected." She couldn't help smiling at the memory at last, facades or not. "But also breathtaking, magical, perfect… everything I'd never dared dream about."

"Awww…" Both Cas and Melissa sighed, while Lisa smiled and Jorien smirked. Somehow it surprised Robin that neither Cas nor Jorien, who both certainly knew at this point who her first kiss had been, seemed to care about that fact in the slightest. Obviously there was still hope for bringing them into the same place at some distant point in the future.

"What's the most awkward situation you've ever had at home? With your family, I mean." Jorien's question was next, and while Robin knew that it was only an innocent attempt at changing the theme of conversation to safer territories again, the topic brought a lump to her throat nonetheless. She hadn't thought about her parents in a while now… but perhaps it was time to prove to herself that she was over it indeed.

"My parents invited strangers to live in my room while kicking me out of the house, and when I didn't leave immediately, their guests called me a useless greedy whore, to which my parents said absolutely nothing. During the last dinner before I left, they said that traveling alone with S...someone would result in people assuming I was dishonored, to which I merely replied that it was bold of them to assume that I had any honour left in the first place. That was rather awkward." She explained with a shrug, and unsurprisingly it was all four girls who stared at her incredulously now. Wasn't that something other families did too? No? Well damn.

"They… they just kicked you out of your home?" Lisa ironically was the first to ask in a quiet voice, and Robin immediately felt terrible for spoiling everyone's fun with her story. She'd just meant to answer honestly… Not such a good idea, as it seemed.

"Yeah, well, no, I mean yes they did, but then we all agreed that it would be best if I left and earned my own money." She explained, as if that would make anything better and not worse. Good job, idiot.

"How awful! How old were you?" Melissa went on, as both Cas and Jorien obviously knew better than to ask at this point.

"Seventeen. It all happened just at the beginning of last summer, actually." Again Robin answered truthfully, but more thought through this time. "It really wasn't as bad as it sounds now, that wasn't the point of the story. I just wanted to say the dinner was rather awkward from that point on."

"Right…" Jorien said slowly, then once more was the first to catch on to the desperately needed change of topic. "Next question! We've got one more minute of Robin's ten, so let's do one more round, yes?"

The other girls nodded, then Melissa once more made the start. "It's odd that nobody's asked you this before, but who is your boyfriend anyway?"

"I'm not going to answer that." Robin replied in a surprising ease, as just another fact that she didn't even have to think about. "If I'm not mistaken, that means I get to ask you guys a question now?"

"Yep."

"Alright…" Robin sighed, and the first idea she had was already a decent one, even if it ran at the risk of confusing the girls. "If you had to describe Professor Morgan with one word, which would it be?"

"Handsome." Melissa was the first to blurt out, cheeks tinting red to a degree that was visible even in the very limited light.

"Charming." Cas added next, without even a hint of such embarrassment.

"Nice." Lisa shrugged. "Not quite as much as some other people, but still… He's one of the nicest professors around the castle, to me at least."

"Enigmatic." Jorien finally concluded the round. "I have absolutely no idea who that man really is. I like him, but his ambiguity is odd sometimes."

All girls nodded in accordance with Jorien's statement, but also the previous three descriptors seemed to fall upon common agreement. Robin was both content and unsettled by this development. They really did like him, but except for the strange ambiguity, Robin's perception of Morgan was nothing like theirs. Interesting, from a somewhat objective kind of viewpoint.

"Great, so now I'm next!" Cas announced, and broke Robin out of her pondering. "What's the most intimate thing you've ever done with someone?"

Robin inwardly rolled her eyes, but kept up her neutrality on the outside no less. She might just give them her newfound truth, even if they wouldn't understand it. "Looking into someone's mind and having them look into mine at the same time. I think it's the most intimate you can get with someone, by allowing them to see absolutely everything of you, see exactly who you are without any facades or defenses. To be one for a while, exactly the way you are. And being loved just the same, if not all the more."

"That sounds amazing." Jorien commented quietly, with a serene smile that was nothing of what Robin had expected.

"That sounds boring as hell!" Cas rolled her eyes, which in return was exactly what Robin had expected. "Don't you have any spicy stories?"

"That's not what you asked for, and it's not your turn to ask anyway." Robin gave Cas a pointed look and a humoured smile. Sometimes the imprecision of Cas' language use was a saving grace. Thank the gods the girl hadn't asked for Robin's most erotic experience, because then Robin would've seriously considered jumping off the astronomy tower before she'd turn into a flustered mess. Not that there would've been much to share in that regard anyway, at least not in a way the girls would understand. As of the current moment, Robin's relationship hadn't been on that kind of… physical level just yet. Not because they didn't want to, gods no, but the time had never been quite right for it. Too many late nights working, too many early mornings and other problems, other people, other concerns. Besides, they weren't the kind of people to rush things, especially not when any form of intimacy was new to either of them in the first place.

"Exactly, it's my turn to ask now." Lisa's words came as the next saving grace to Robin's thoughts. Or… something of the sort, at least. "What's one thing that Cas and Jorien know about you but Melissa and I don't?"

"That I was stabbed last summer and almost died from severe blood loss."

"Wait, really?!"

"Yes." Robin replied with a sigh under her breath, and her two roommates nodded in accordance. This at least was a somewhat easy topic to talk about by now… it simply was a fact that wouldn't harm anyone anymore.

"My turn!" Jorien announced before anyone could make a big deal out of it, and once more Robin was more than glad for the girl's brilliant intuition. "What's one thing you wish will happen in your more distant future?"

That was a nice one, actually, and a small smile graced Robin's lips in return. Perhaps she could end this silly game on good terms with the girls after all. "I wish that some day in the future, when certain things are different, everyone I care about will be able to sit at the same table happily. That also includes you guys, just so you know."

"Aww, that's sweet." Cas smiled happily, and the others seemed equally content with the answer. Thank goodness.

"Now, I answered all of your questions and played along nicely." Robin said, then rose up to her feet even as her muscles protested in stiffness from the cold. Bloody hell, she should've cast a heating charm before coming here… At least, other than her, the girls were all wrapped up in their warmest clothes. "Let's get you back down to the dungeons."

"So, you aren't coming to the dorms with us?" Melissa asked, while the five of them made their way down the staircase at last.

"No. I still have something very important to see to, and that really can't wait any longer." Robin sighed as she locked the door to the tower back up behind them, then ushered the girls on into the direction of the dungeons. From now on it wasn't unlikely that Morgan might return, and she wanted to be safe in Snape's quarters before that happened.

They made their way down the stairs and through the corridors the same way they always did, with Cas entertaining the entire group and Robin following silently behind them. To her luck, Robin remembered to say goodnight earlier than she had to, to conceal just where she was heading, but she still let the girls walk a good bit ahead before she herself went on to take a detour to her own destination. Better safe than sorry, after all. Mere minutes later nonetheless, she finally arrived in front of the door to her safest haven, and let herself in like she did so often. What first greeted her on the inside after locking back up behind herself was a welcoming wave of the fire's warmth and golden glow, followed immediately by the sight of papers strewn everywhere across the floor. Most surprising however was the fact that Snape was sitting right among them, knees bent and arms propped up on them while he stared off into the flames with an empty expression. Robin froze in her spot immediately, and her eyes remained fixed on him while everything within her squeezed together with a start.

"I'm going to die, am I not?"

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

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Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.31}

*Severus Snape x OC*

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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"Oh man, I wish we could come along!" Gideon sighed, then rested his elbows on the table and his head in his hands with an expression that bordered on a pout. "How unfair is that?! You guys get to go up the astronomy tower and have all the fun while we're stuck writing a bloody charms essay! Why on earth is fate so cruel?!"

"Maybe fate just likes us better than you." Cas replied with a smug expression, and a victorious smirk at the boys on the opposite side of the table. "There's nothing you can do about that, Gideon, but to just accept fate as it is."

"Pff, as if fate hasn't been kind enough to you already by gracing you with us in the first place…" Michael protested immediately, and Cas rolled her eyes in return. The only ones who currently knew better than to take part in this ridiculous conversation were Jorien and Simon, both of who already had something else to do for the night anyway. Smart of them, really.

"I honestly can't blame fate for not liking either of you right now." Robin sighed in sheer annoyance, and desperately hoped that dinner would be served soon. She had sat down at the Ravenclaw table with the rest of the dunderhead gang barely five minutes ago, and informed the group that she might be able to arrange a visit to the astronomy tower for Cas and Melissa three minutes down the road. The remaining two had been filled with the two boys' complaints about not being able to come along. Honestly, Robin had enough of the discussion. "If you guys had done your work any earlier instead of lazing about like dunderheads, you wouldn't be in this situation."

Now it was both Gideon and Michael who rolled their eyes at her in sheer annoyance. "Well, not everyone can be a swot like you!" The latter huffed, then sighed again, quite as dramatically as possible. "If only there was someone a year above us who could help us with the assignment… Or someone living in the same bloody room as us…"

"Why do you guys have to make everything so stupidly difficult…" Robin groaned under her breath while Simon gracefully ignored the allusion, then she hid her face in her hands when her headache only grew worse at this inane discussion. She really had not imagined this to be quite so difficult, not remotely. The older everyone got, the more difficult they became to deal with. Well, to manipulate, actually.

"See, Robin, if you-..." Gideon didn't get further than that, when Jorien cut straight into his attempted complaint.

"Just shut up Gideon, will you?" She snapped back at the boy, much to everyone's surprise. Until now, she had remained pointedly quiet for the entirety of the conversation just like Simon. Michael made a move to protest, but Jorien was faster. "And you too, Michael. Just shut. your. mouth. I don't get to go either, nor does Simon, but do you see us complaining?!"

"Well no, but-..."

"No 'but', idiots! You're being terrible friends to both Robin and Cas right now, if you haven't noticed, and you're seriously ruining everyone's night with your pathetic whining! So get a bloody grip already and just be happy for Cas that she gets to do something fun. And better be bloody nice to Robin now if you don't want her to send you into detention instead of up that stupid tower!" Jorien's cutting tone fit the fact that she still glared daggers at both boys, who both looked immediately intimidated in return. Robin couldn't help feeling immensely proud of the girl, and thankful that she was doing what Robin herself was just too tired to. These kinds of problems were on a different level than what she was dealing with today, and there was no room in her mind currently for teenage quarrels.

"You… can't really give us detention, can you?" Michael asked Robin so carefully that all hints of the previous accusations and protest were history.

"She can, and she will." Cas shrugged before Robin could, with a humoured expression even now that the discussion had taken a turn. "Robin can do anything, in case you still haven't understood that at this point. Giving you detention is the very least of that."

An idea sparked up in Robin's mind then, a new and perhaps even better one that would allow her to cover up for most of tonight's impending doings and thereby justify what she needed the girls to do for her. Keeping an eye out for Morgan's departure and return wasn't all that ordinary of a request, after all. She would need a cover story, and this could pose an even better one than doing the girls a favour by bringing them up the stupid tower indeed. So perhaps, teenage quarrels were the way to go after all.

"It's true, I can do and get away with pretty much anything around here." Robin shrugged in feigned ease and confidence, and all eyes were drawn from Cas straight to her instead. "Giving detention or unlocking the astronomy tower is nothing but a warm-up to me."

"Yeah, sure…" Gideon snorted, then quirked an eyebrow at Robin with a grin. "How about you convince Flitwick to spare us that bloody essay then?"

"And why would I want to bore myself out of my mind by doing something as easy as that? Even you could do that if only you tried." Robin scoffed in return, in an act that seemed to fool at least the two boys she was currently targeting. The girls and Simon however were rightfully doubtful about her sudden change in demeanour, but luckily they kept their suspicions to themselves.

"Oh, so you really mean it then, do you? You really can do anything?" Michael shot her a smirk at first, then turned to whisper something to Gideon and finally both boys looked at her with mischievous grins. "How about a little challenge then, huh?"

"If you are able to find anything that could remotely challenge me in the first place…" Robin sighed in sheer exaggerated boredom, then shrugged. This was going precisely to her plan, and the boys had absolutely no clue about how well they were playing their roles right now. Lovely. "Why not. Try to challenge me, if you can."

"How far do you want to go?" Michael questioned again, but he obviously had an idea in mind already that he was just trying to present in a grander manner. Robin only wanted to scoff at his badly hidden intentions… people were so obvious sometimes.

"How far can you think?" She replied instead, and raised her eyebrows at the two boys. "You would like me to waste my time by proving a point to you. The least you can do is to make it interesting for me."

"Fine then." Michael grinned at her, then nodded at Gideon, who nodded in return. Boys… Robin inwardly rolled her eyes. "Since you're obviously not scared of any of the professors, I think we should go up the hierarchy instead. And if you want to go all out already, why don't you break into Professor Dumbledore's office to see what it looks like in there? Nobody I know has ever seen it from the inside."

"Oh please… I've been there numerous times. I could just ask him to invite me over for tea any time, and I could even bring you along if you'd fancy that." She sighed in utmost feigned disappointment. "He and I have some matters to discuss anyway, now that I think about it… How would you like coming along to tea tonight, Michael, huh? I'm sure the headmaster would be delighted."

Simon, Cas and Jorien snorted in reply to Robin's easy teasing tone, Gideon was trying not to, and Michael looked entirely flustered. Alright, perhaps Robin did have a little fun messing with them alongside the execution of her plan.

"Fine…" Michael huffed, then crossed his arms over his chest. "But which professor doesn't invite you over for tea on a regular basis?! I'm starting to think you're the bloody minister himself!"

"She's Robin." Cas smirked at the boys, and thereby brought a sincere smile to Robin's face as well. "That's even better."

"Let's see… We should try thinking about it her way." Gideon pulled a ridiculous thinking face, then started grinning again a mere moment later. "The only one I've never heard Robin speak about is Professor Morgan. And from what rumour says, the two of them go quite roughly on each other in class. Is it true that he broke your wrist once when he demonstrated a spell from the restricted section on you?"

"Oh come on guys, you won't actually make me deal with Morgan of all people!" Robin feigned an annoyed complaint, and at the same time completely ignored the question, as well as the indeed very real memories it brought back. Her wrist still made clicking sounds sometimes… even though Snape had fixed it, after she'd insistently refused to go to the infirmary. "Morgan is literally the only person I don't get along with."

"It's settled then. You're going to break into Morgan's office." Michael grinned in what he believed to be his victory. "It's probably full of defensive spells and traps and other surprises…"

"Perhaps we should pick something less difficult after all, huh?" Gideon added with a smirk and a nudge of his elbow into Michael's arm. Boys…

"As if anything that man does would actually pose a problem to me." Robin scoffed in perhaps a little too much feigned confidence, but it was all part of the act anyway. This was the moment to set the hook once into her story and for all. "But if you guys insist on it, you shall get your point proven. Tomorrow morning, I will tell you the exact order of the items Morgan keeps on his desk. Then you can confirm that I really was there, when you go to his office under some pretext on Monday."

"I hadn't even thought of that, but if you're offering a piece of proof already, I won't decline. Not that we actually need any, with you always telling the truth and all." Michael shot Robin a grin, then one at Gideon who also looked immensely pleased with the challenge they had set. Or rather the challenge Robin had made them set for her very intentionally. Poor them, reduced to chess pieces in a game they couldn't understand… But they deserved that much for annoying her tonight.

She had to admit however that this was quite perfect, in the way it had played out. She had been in Morgan's office today after all, which means that tomorrow she would be able to say she'd been there yesterday without being dishonest. In addition to that, she surely would be able to remember the order of things on Morgan's stupid desk without actually having another look at them… with Snape's help, at least, she could draw that information from her memories. At some point, later, when there was room for it in her mind again.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Robin?" Simon finally dared to voice a thought, and Robin did feel a little bad to play her act on him now as well. He'd been very kind to her nerves as of yet, and he surely deserved better than to be a mere asset in her current schemings. "When Michael challenges someone, it never ends well. Especially not for actually intelligent people.

"Hey!" Michael protested, but went kindly ignored.

"Have a little faith in me." Robin gave Simon a half smile instead, reassuring yet confident in her words. "I know what I'm doing."

"Do you?" Jorien raised an eyebrow at her as well now, surely catching on to the very un-Robin like behaviour. But quite obviously, she also caught on to at least the idea of some greater plan behind it. "You know, as always?"

"Precisely as always." Robin gave her a not-smirk, and was content with the hint of understanding flashing over the girl's face in return. Well, at least one person understood that she wasn't as stupid as to blindly accept any challenge.

"Great, now that we have that settled, I could use some food to prepare for the long night ahead! Even if I won't be the one breaking into Morgan's office." Gideon sighed with a smile, then a small snort escaped him as he not-so-subtly motioned towards the side entrance behind the head table. "Speaking of the handsome devil, look who's just arrived! And- oh boy, what happened to him back in Hogsmeade today?!"

Robin didn't even have to turn around to know exactly what was playing out behind her back. After a few seconds of gathering her confidence, she still glanced over her shoulder at Morgan who just now made his way from the door to his seat. He had changed his robes and also gotten rid of all other indicators of what had happened just a few hours ago… everything was back in place, as was a striking dark blue bruise on the left side of his face. It was as noticeable as could be, a dark beacon on his pale skin. Great. A cold shudder ran down Robin's back in an instant when he caught sight of her in return, and back was the feeling of raw anxiety. Fuck… she hadn't thought that seeing him here would be this fear inducing all over again, even if he was at a good distance to her now, and surrounded by a good amount of his colleagues.

"I wonder what happened to him…" Cas said out loud what everyone else was thinking. "Poor Morgan… He's such a nice person, he doesn't deserve that! Whoever did that to him should suffer the same fate. Or worse. Preferably worse."

Cas' words made Robin feel sick with a start, like a sudden blow to the stomach she hadn't seen coming. They never spoke about Morgan, never discussed any of the rumours that were going around about the things he had supposedly done to her in class. Cas and Jorien probably believed them to be quite as wrong as all the other rumours about Robin they had heard over the years. Only that this time, the vast majority of it was unfortunately true. In the past two months, he really had done his utmost to send her to the hospital wing in a state of unlikely recovery as often as he could. And still, as it seemed, Robin's friends were quite as fond of Morgan as everyone else. Gods… Robin really did feel sick now.

"Perhaps he just walked into something, or had an accident with his work…" Simon suggested with a small shrug. "It doesn't seem too serious either way, if he's here at dinner now and not in the hospital wing. I'm sure he's taken good care of."

"He will be fine, I'm sure of that." Jorien added in agreement, reassuringly as well as hopeful for just that. "And I'm sure whatever or whoever did this to him got what they deserve. He knows what he's doing after all; nobody in their right mind would attack a defense teacher."

Robin's stomach was in even tighter knots upon the realization that indeed all of her friends were seriously concerned about the professor, as if he had done anything to warrant such sentiments. Concerned, and in obvious favour of. She clenched her teeth, took a deep breath, then put on her best neutral facade. They didn't know what she knew. They didn't know what kind of a man he truly was. But that didn't stop their behaviour from hurting Robin. Didn't soothe the stab in the back she felt. She took another deep breath. Be rational about this, try to see things from their side. How could they possibly like him? Why?

Perhaps he was acting differently with them, a different man under different circumstances. Perhaps he wasn't as easily put into a box as she wanted him to be. He couldn't be the same person to them as he was to her, if even Jorien – who picked up on almost as many hidden clues about a person as Robin did herself – was in favour of him. Perhaps it was Robin who was the problem. Yes really, it only made too much sense. Morgan, the man who everyone just loved and cared for, and she, Robin, the girl who everyone despised and feared no matter what she did. When being rational indeed, the answer to which one of them both was the problem here was a simple one after all. In the end, the world liked Morgan better. In the end indeed, they would either mourn his death or turn their back on hers in celebration of his victory. That thought was deeply unsettling to Robin all of a sudden, perhaps even more than Morgan's presence. The world would always like him better, even if Robin turned her back on either.

But then there was Snape. He didn't fit the pattern the dark parts of her mind were trying to recognize here, didn't fall into line with the vast majority of people. Or with anyone really, but her. With her he stood together, had always, would always. The thought made Robin smile ever so slightly against all odds. He saw more of her than all the others, knew more of her truth than anyone else, and he still was on her side of matters after all. He was on her side, against the world. Perhaps her friends would be too, if they knew what she knew. Yes, that was a reassuring thought for once: They would stand with her, if they knew that there were sides to pick in the first place. But until they could know, she would have to live with them being in favour of both her and Morgan. Perhaps, they would never have to know about any of this.

It was then that dinner was finally sent up, and it was then as well that she felt the familiar tingle in the back of her mind. Seeing as her friends had long moved on from the previous topic and now started indulging in their meals, Robin dared to look over her shoulder and towards the head table once more. A brief and careful glimpse told her that Morgan was deep in conversation with Sprout now, so her eyes finally landed on the man she had meant to seek out. Their gaze met, and she smiled when his presence became a gentle caress of her mind once more, taking away both the tension and the headache with a start. Gods, she could finally breathe again.

'You gave him that black eye, didn't you?' Snape's words, his voice filled with a subtle pleasedness, rang out clear as ever in her mind, and Robin was only mildly surprised by the not entirely new mode of conversation. They often shared emotions this way, or memories like earlier today, but she was pleased to find that it worked just fine to have an actual conversation too. Even, or especially at a distance like this, and without anyone else taking notice.

'Obviously. You saw how my fist met his face, and probably also felt how badly that hurt my hand in return.' She replied in the closest thing she could imagine a half smile to sound like. He would understand that.

'I did indeed.' His words were succeeded by the strong feelings of pride and admiration that were most definitely intentionally shared, and Robin's smile widened while she did avert her eyes however to not make it too obvious what she was smiling about. Or rather who she was smiling at. It wouldn't be good to get caught staring at him like that.

'Very true, it would likely cause us even more problems.' He commented on her thought even now that she was finally setting out to heave some food onto her plate. When she looked back at him, his eyes were set on his own dinner, with only the briefest glimpse up at her for a broken second of acknowledgement. So this also worked without sight, even at a distance… interesting. Robin looked back down to her meal and shared with him the wave of relief she felt upon his presence in her mind. She could feel him smile in return. Slowly, the fear and hurt in her mind became thus replaced by warmth.

'If you're in my mind already, you might as well take a look at the outcome of the conversation I just had to endure.' She finally phrased in actual words again, when she felt his presence lingering even after a while of comfortable silence on either side. Honestly, she was glad that she didn't have to be alone with her thoughts right now. So she showed him the outcome of the discussion with Gideon and Michael.

'A challenge? How imbecilic is that…' He scoffed after a moment of going through what she put on display for him to see. Robin sent a wordless agreement in return, then he added, 'It was a brilliant idea to use it as a cover for our doings though, under these circumstances.'

'Why thank you.' The smile that came onto her face as she chewed her green beans was very real and visible to her surroundings, in contrast to the wordless conversation they were having at least. 'The idea to do them a favour just wasn't entirely working out the way I planned, so I had to switch strategies. This challenge, no matter how idiotic I personally find it, is both a cover story and an alibi that reveals neither your involvement nor our actual plans for tonight to anyone involved.'

'Clever.' He replied, and Robin returned the feeling of how pleased she was upon the praise. She felt him smirk for a moment, before he finally made another comment. 'I am thoroughly disappointed in the dunderhead gang for taking pity on Morgan though, even if they do not know any better. Are you certain you don't want to give all of them detention tomorrow? They could scrub some cauldrons while we watch them with a coffee.'

Robin let out a rather loud snort, a real one, and it drew her friends' attention to her in an instant. Oh dear… perhaps she needed some more practice in having a mental conversation while in the physical presence of other people at the same time. She hadn't even been listening to the real conversation going on around her at all!

'It seems that they just realized the very same thing.' Snape's smirk was so palpable in her mind that Robin rolled her eyes for real, which didn't help the situation and only made her friends stare openly at her as if waiting for an explanation for her odd behaviour. 'Redundant of them to expect any differently. It shouldn't come as a surprise to them anymore that you are indeed quite odd.'

"Oh, do shut up already, will you?!" Robin groaned in her head as well as out loud, and her entire group of friends frowned at her in even more confusion. Great… Now she certainly did seem insane after all! In her mind, she heard Snape's low chuckle echoing all through her being for a moment, before he left her to deal with her surroundings by herself for now. Insufferable idiot… But the smile he had brought back to her lips stayed there even as she joined back into the usual banter with her friends, without any more mention of Morgan or the black eye Robin was proud to have given him after all.

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

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Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.29}

*Severus Snape x OC*

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 3.7k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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The very moment Robin was back inside the castle, every possible doubt about what she was about to do had vanished entirely if it had ever been existent in the first place. On her haste down into the dungeons, people jumped out of her path at the mere sight of the sinister expression on her face, and honestly, she was more grateful than ever that nobody dared to as much as look at her for too long. Sometimes a reputation was a curse, sometimes a saving grace. Right now the latter was the case.

She didn't say a single word when she opened the door to the potions classroom in one swift move. Still stayed silent when she made her way through the rows of desks and students, straight to the front where Snape was working at his desk like always during detention. She didn't need to say a thing, and yet all eyes were on her in an instant. The students' many ones in surprise and nigh intimidation at her mode of entrance, Snape's merely in instant concern. He knew that she wouldn't just show up here, bursting into detention if it wasn't for a matter of utmost importance. So she only looked at him in silent confirmation of what they both knew was happening right now.

"Detention is over. Get out. Now." Snape spoke up with a brief glimpse at his students, in a tone to match Robin's grave expression. Then however his eyes found and never left hers as he rose to his feet in an instant to round the table to come over to her side as if the rest of the world beyond them simply ceased to exist.

"But professor, it's still over an hour until dinner… Are you sure we're allowed to go already?" A young boy, probably a first year, remarked carefully, which earned him a few groans and curses from his peers, and an instantaneous but deathly glare from Snape.

"Question me again and you will spend the entire remainder of this term in detention." He snapped at the boy, then turned to everyone else who had stopped in their tracks or not yet started moving in the first place. "What on earth are you waiting for?! Is there a part of 'get out' you dunderheads failed to understand?"

It took exactly five seconds for the students to rush out the door while the echo of his words still ghosted through the masses of stone. Then, in the very instant the last people had left, the door to the classroom flew shut, was locked and warded in a now long practiced procedure that, to Robin's knowledge, was yet unbreakable. Ever since new year's, they had become more careful with their every step for a multitude of reasons. Morgan being one of them.

"What on earth-..." Snape didn't get further than that before Robin had dropped her backpack and winter robes on the ground and wrapped her arms around him so tightly that her muscles started quivering, urged into this impulsive need for closeness by the sudden and sheer overwhelming realization that she had come way too close to never seeing him again. In the end, it was a gift of fate that they were still here, still together. This thought as well as the hot rush of welling tears it brought along was only quenched when he held her tightly in return, and her composure collapsed once and for all.

Sure, there were more important things to be dealt with right now and Robin had promised herself not to let her emotions get in the way of that, but she couldn't help it anymore. Repression and putting on acts for her own mind only worked for so long. And thus she let herself dwell in his embrace for now, clawing onto him like a lifeline of reality, basking in the comfort and safety she needed now more than ever. The world could wait. It had to.

"Whatever it is, we will be fine." He said after a while of drawing soft patterns on her back, and Robin almost had to smile. She had never told him just how soothing she found that gesture, nor his voice and words of encouragement, but somehow he still had always known anyway. There was no measure for how much she loved him for that, for just knowing. "May I see for myself?"

"Please do. I couldn't logically explain what happened anyway, not even if I tried." She sighed in return without even having to ask what he meant, and then waited for his presence in her mind as she had felt it so often before. It was a truly pleasant procedure at this point, like a gentle caress, like the patterns on her back. And therefore sharing her memories of what had happened brought an immediate and breathtaking relief to her troubled mind as much as his presence did to her soul. The panic faded, the anxiety and sickness made way for reason and even a strong sense of safety. She might not need him to protect her… but she still was more than glad to know that he wouldn't let anything stop him from doing so anyway.

For a while longer neither of them spoke, even once he had seen all there was, all there had been. His hold on her only tightened, and moments later the scratch on her eyebrow started tingling with the warm echo of magic. Perhaps she should ask him to teach her some of those miraculous healing spells… If fights over life and death were to become a normal occurrence in her days now, it might yet prove useful to have some of his tricks up her own sleeves as well. But that would have to wait; for now, she had to get over herself and deal with the more pressing issues. With a deep breath, she pulled back when she finally felt ready to face the world and the worries it brought at last. They could do this. Together, like always.

In the following minutes it in return took Robin quite a bit of convincing to remind Snape that, one, she had won the fight and had come out more or less fine after all, only cold and bruised, and two, that they had agreed that killing Morgan was still not an option. No matter how very tempting the idea was under the current circumstances. Robin did agree with one point though, when Snape said that if it ever came to a moment where it was either Morgan's or Robin's life, he wouldn't waste a second of thought to save her no matter what might be the cost in return. She did agree, even though she knew that it had never been meant as a question in the first place.

Indeed, the thought made Robin smile. He would gladly set the world and skies on fire for her if the opportunity should come, without a single doubt or hesitation, and while that thought should have been at least somehow disconcerting, the unshakable fact only made Robin feel ineffably proud. There had never been such a thing as 'normal' when it came to him and her… They had always been living by extremes. Living through passion for life. And in that intensity, in the way they lived and were going to live, she found her fear replaced by determination.

"I believe to have a lead on Morgan's reasons, to find out what this is all about. A start." She said, and was met with the most attentive, intrigued gaze in return. "Or at least I finally have an idea where to look for one."

"Other than his sheer insanity being reason enough, you mean?"

"Actually, I'm rather sure that he is quite as sane as you and I." Robin sighed, while a half smile found its way onto her lips nonetheless. "But no matter what he is or isn't, we will find out what makes him do what he does and we will put an end to it. In a different way than by killing him. A better one."

"You're terribly rational. As always." Snape replied in a huff, and yet let his fingers trace the outside of her hand in a feathery touch to replace some of the past embrace's comfort. It was remarkable how much better he had gotten with such simple signs of affection over the last few months, even if still ever so subtle. "I wish I had your level of optimism."

"I'm not optimistic, but realistic." Her half smile turned into a full one as she took the opportunity to interlace their fingers in return. "This mess with Morgan has been going on for almost seven years now, and I need it to end on my terms before it ends on his. We have to see to it that it does, and we will."

"Tell me more about your lead then; I must say that neither his words nor your thoughts on the matter made much sense to me."

"They didn't make sense to me either, until I went shopping with Cas and Jorien."

"You almost died, and then you went shopping right after that instead of coming straight back here?"

"Yes?"

"You hate shopping. And you almost died."

"Yes…?"

"I am honestly not sure if I should be impressed or irritated. You really are perfectly impossible."

"Why, thank you!" Robin had to smirk upon his incredulous expression, but soon enough her thoughts and expression went back to business as she tried to put the mess of thoughts into a stringent sentence. "To be honest, I just went shopping because I didn't want to let the girls down, and I hoped it would bring me some diversion from the events I did not even nearly understand at that point. But it was Morgan's words that made me think, and even throughout the hour where I tried to focus on other matters, they never quite left me alone no matter what. To make it short, I have an idea what he could've meant with some of what he said. The part about looking at my being but not me, the earrings and also comparing me to some other person who is me and not me at the same time."

"And?"

"The painting in the room of hidden things." Robin finally got out the very core of her thoughts, of her suspicion, and it didn't take more than that for Snape's mind to visibly halt at her words. "We have to find it and see if the woman who looks like me has earrings or not. Because then Morgan's comments-..."

"Would suddenly make a disconcerting amount of sense." He finished the sentence for her with a deep frown as his thoughts finally caught up with hers. "It still doesn't explain why he does what he does, but it certainly is a starting point indeed."

"The best lead we've ever had. And the only one."

"Then we cannot wait any longer." His tone went from considering to beyond determined. "We should be able to get up to the seventh floor unseen even at the present time, if we make use of the hidden paths in the castle."

"Lead the way then." Robin said with a small but sincere smile, then gave Snape's hand a gentle squeeze and finally let go to take her robes and bag to his office for safekeeping. The classroom was a mere shed in comparison to the fortress of spells that surrounded the office these days, and if today had proven anything to her, it was that she couldn't be careful enough. Not even with her belongings. After all, objects could be cursed just the same, and do perhaps even more damage than a simple one-time spell. She wasn't keen on finding out just how much more.

… … …

They made their way up to the correct seventh floor hallway in a matter of minutes, unseen in the rising darkness of the castle, and it again took only a minute and an illusionment charm to summon the grand door to the room of hidden things. The extraordinary place didn't fail to fascinate Robin even now upon their entrance, and she inevitably had to think back to the last time she had been here. The only time, to be exact, because she hadn't dared returning alone. A lot of things had been easier back then… But she wouldn't want to go back for anything in the world. She couldn't even bear the thought of going back to the torture that was loving from afar.

"Do you remember where the portrait was located?" Snape asked once he had closed the heavy door behind them, and broke Robin out of her marveling and memories. Yes, this reality was far better, no matter what.

"I, uh… I was rather distracted the last time we were in here." She admitted with a small shrug, which made him raise an eyebrow at her. Robin rolled her eyes in return. "I was trying not to jump at you for how close you kept coming to me, if you have to know. So no, I don't remember the path to the portrait."

"Pity." He sighed in feigned disappointment, then merely took her hand again and started walking off in absolute certainty where to go while pulling her along. Of course he knew where the portrait was… Robin had to smile against her will as she couldn't help rolling her eyes again. Insufferable idiot. Her idiot.

In a matter of minutes they reached the mountain of objects Robin very much recognized as the place she had discovered the portrait in nonetheless. The flipped chairs, the pile of pink teacups, the bucket filled with yellowed scrolls. Yes, this was the right spot indeed. But there was no painting anywhere in sight.

"It's gone…" Robin wondered out loud, brows furrowed and the hairs in her neck standing on edge. She hadn't quite considered that people other than them had access to this place as well… other people who might not have her best interest in mind, with the portrait or not. Or who came in here not to hide something, but to hide something that already was in here. The thought made her shudder.

"I can see that." Snape replied flatly, with very much the same irritation colouring his features and occupying his mind. His concern was all the more reason for Robin to feel everything but at ease in this place, even now that their hands were still tightly interlaced. Perhaps they were both scared to part again any time soon. But still, bloody portrait… couldn't anything ever be easy at Hogwarts?! Perhaps this room wasn't such a great place after all. Then again, maybe it only was almost getting killed that had her on edge far more quickly than usual. That explanation for her unease was more likely. Gods, she couldn't even keep her thoughts in line properly.

"Perhaps someone moved it while in the search for something else?" She suggested in an attempt to keep her recently regained calm. This was not a setback, that they hadn't found the portrait where it was supposed to be. It was rather a mystery, a riddle, and those were supposed to have edges and corners. Yes, that made her feel better about the situation. "I know tracing spells don't work in here, but perhaps we could have a quick look around nonetheless?"

"I have a better idea." Snape said with a thoughtful gaze at the spot where the portrait had been. Then – much to Robin's dismay – he let go of her hand and instead made them both move to the side, almost leaning into the next mountain of objects behind them as he went on. "How likely is it that Morgan, the perhaps only professor who has a habit of being constantly short of time, would spend precious minutes every morning and every night, according to his own words, to come here to look at the painting?"

"Unlikely, I should say. Practically impossible."

"Yes. And what does that thereby mean?"

"You just love to make me guess, don't you?"

Snape rolled his eyes, partially at Robin and also partially at himself if she wasn't mistaken, but then answered his own question nonetheless. "It means that he must have taken the portrait elsewhere. Either to his office or his private chambers, I presume."

"Oh bloody hell no…" Robin groaned under her breath, then leaned her head back into her neck for a moment to place that very logical piece of information into her mental puzzle. "I'm afraid you're right, but I still very much hope you're not. The thought-..."

"I know. It concerns me no less."

"Can we do anything to find out for sure before I break into his office for nothing?"

"Before we break into his office. Don't even think that I would let you do any of this alone." He protested immediately in a reproachful scoff, but when his words only made Robin smile ever so slightly, his expression mellowed out in return. "There is no way to be entirely certain about the whereabouts of the painting, seeing as the room's magic to protect its contents is older than the castle itself. We cannot undo it, not even nearly."

"Pity." Robin sighed in a mirror of his own favoured expression, which earned her a not-smirk before he went on.

"What we can do however is to trace a person's movements. If Morgan ever was in here, we should be able to see where precisely he went, which in this case is the next best thing."

"That's bloody brilliant!"

"Don't look so surprised…" He scoffed again, but the not-smirk lingered on even as he worded the according spell. It wasn't an unfamiliar or difficult one, but what made Robin feel both in awe and proud beyond reason was the very idea in the first place. Tracing the person and not the object was such an out-of-the-box approach to the problem at hand that it might as well have come from her own mind. But coming from Snape now, it made Robin realize all over again how much they had grown into each other's ways of thinking over the years. She couldn't help feeling proud of that even in a situation like this.

A mere few seconds later, the ground before them lit up with a straight line of glowing footsteps that came from between the mountains of things from the direction of the door. It led straight to the point where Robin vaguely remembered the portrait to have been, then it took a sharp turn straight back to where it had come from. No detours, no looking around. A straight path here, a straight path back.

"The spell only shows the last time he was here, not possible times before that." Snape explained, and Robin found herself nodding on instinct as her eyes followed the footsteps between the mountains where they disappeared from her sight.

"Yeah, I know…" She mused, frowning to herself once more. Obviously she knew the spell and its specifics, but something entirely else was nagging at her mind again, something she should take notice of but hadn't as of yet. It was terribly irksome.

"Perhaps a summary of the state of affairs might help?" He suggested, and it didn't even come as a surprise to Robin anymore that he knew exactly what was going on in her mind. In more instances than she could count, he just knew indeed.

"Very well, let's see…" Robin mused with a sigh, while they started making their way back towards the exit in a slow saunter. "Morgan wants to kill me. He is not insane, he rather seems to have a reason for what he does. One he doesn't quite agree with, or at least is somewhat troubled by himself. The chance that he can win a duel against me at this point is near non-existent, so his only chance is to catch me by surprise or trickery, like he did today. He would find it easier to kill me if I fought back, but he still doesn't plan to stop trying either way. He cannot stop for some reason, or so he says at least. He wants to kill me, and yet he doesn't want to see me dead."

"He has a twisted obsession with you, whether that be for you as a person or you as a representation of something or someone else." Snape went on in the wake of her words. "He clearly adores you, while yet he has an ineffable hatred for you, which makes him both enjoy and dread seeing you suffer. The obsession with you led him to take the portrait out of this room, which he came to discover by yet unknown factors. He came in here at least once and took the portrait out with him to presumably either his office or his rooms. There he looks at it every morning and every night, as for his statement, because he rarely sees the real you outside of class. Through that or perhaps for other reasons, he has formed some sort of bond with the woman in the painting, which he recognizes to be you and not you at the same time. He wants you to be his, and yet he wants you dead."

"Exactly." Robin sighed again. "That makes so much sense and yet it doesn't make sense at all. It's as if he is two people at once, at war over one thing he is made to do and one thing he wants to do. If you would've asked me a year ago, I would've said it could be an Imperius curse. But after reading the book Dumbledore gave me for my birthday, and you'll know this because we both have read it a gazillion times by now, the curse just doesn't quite fit in with the facts of the case."

"I agree. He is far too aware of himself and his struggle on either end to be cursed. Especially unlikely for an Imperius curse."

"Good… But that also means that nothing fits in with the facts. We have a bunch of new questions, but no answers whatsoever."

"Yet."

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

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Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.21}

*Severus Snape x OC*

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5.8k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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"Tell me again." Cas demanded as she snatched a piece of bacon off Simon's plate, while keeping her piercing gaze fixed on Robin. "Why are you wearing way fancier clothes than normal?"

"I told you that I'm not telling you, and that's not going to change no matter how many times you ask." Robin shrugged, then subtly moved her own bacon over to Simon to compensate for his loss. The boy thanked her with a small smile, but obviously didn't dare to interrupt the girls' conversation with words. So Robin looked back to Cas. "You'll just have to wait and see like everyone else. Showing some patience will do you good."

"I do have a suspicion." Jorien smirked quietly while Cas just pouted, and Robin quirked an eyebrow at her, which however didn't bother the girl at all. "You don't have to glare at me, I didn't plan on telling anyone."

"Good." Robin replied in an equally quiet tone, but she couldn't help the feeling that Jorien knew a lot more than she let on. Even more than she should know, perhaps. Oh well… only time could confirm that.

"I honestly can't believe that Professor Snape is going to do our dancing class!" Cas finally got over herself and continued with her usual morning-ramble that never failed to entertain at least half of the table they were residing at that day. "I mean, I did watch him while he was dancing with Robin last year, but I honestly can't imagine how he's going to cope with people having to touch him. Melissa and I saw how Professor Sprout put her hand on his arm last week while deep in conversation, and he literally flinched away before giving her a death glare. If you ask me, that man has some serious problems."

"Who do you think he's going to force to dance with him?" Gideon asked with a humoured huff, and Robin suddenly found herself glad that she never spoke much during meals. That way at least nobody thought her oddly quiet on the issue.

"Oh gods, I have no idea." Cas rolled her eyes exaggeratedly and then sighed. "I'm bloody curious nonetheless. I literally can't imagine him actually dancing today in the first place, and hadn't I seen it before, I promise you I would be entirely convinced that he can't dance at all."

"I'm pretty sure the entire school watched him dancing at last year's ball… Who would've thought that was ever in the realm of possibility." Gideon shrugged, then glanced at Robin. "Say, why did you even agree to dance with our very own dungeon bat? I think you might just be the only one who ever did."

Robin thought for a second about telling them that she had been the one to ask him in the first place, but that wouldn't really fit in with his 'scary professor' image and she wouldn't dare scraping at that. So she settled for a different truth, which came out a bit more harshly than intended. "I will gladly dance with him again any time, if that's what you're wondering about, and I would choose him over any of the imbeciles who think it necessary to insult him to flatter their own meek egos. I haven't ever had a better partner, and it was I who was lucky to have that dance indeed, so until you can keep up with that, you'd better be keeping your noses in your own business."

The group was quiet for a moment, while everyone was obviously feeling scolded by Robin's words, but she didn't bother rectifying her intentions. Should they know that she didn't appreciate it when they spoke badly of Snape, or subjected themselves to pathetic gossip and rumour. The only one who looked rather amused by the entire thing was Jorien, which in return put fuel to Robin's belief that the girl knew more than her peers.

"So, what do you think Lisa is going to wear to the ball, huh? Not that hideous thing she showed us in the magazines, hopefully…" Cas finally broke the silence, changing the topic as easily as if the awkwardness before hadn't happened at all, and when everyone engaged in cheerful chatting again, Robin was honestly glad for the average student's shallow approach to conversation. Sometimes, it truly was a gift that other people didn't overthink quite as much as she did herself.

Breakfast went by quickly from there on, without any more disconcerting questions or topics other than the ordinary kind, and once the meal was officially over, the great hall became increasingly more vacant. When the boys finally went to leave, Robin got up as well, but instead of accompanying them to the exit, she made her way to the head table unseen by those whose eye she was trying to avoid, and then spent the next few minutes discussing the terms of their bullshit bingo with Snape. They intentionally engaged in this topic of conversation rather than discussing something of actual importance, such as the impending dancing instruction, for that would have reminded both of them of the uncomfortable truth that by lunch, the entire school would likely be talking about this. About them, dancing. Last night, neither of them really had thought about the consequences of having to hide just how close they were while being in the center of public display like this, but then again, it didn't change a thing now that they were suddenly hyper aware of all the very real students around them. Students who were taking more and more interest in the two black-clad figures standing where once the head table had been even after everyone else was gone. Robin's face was set in calm neutrality as always, just like Snape wore his usual scowl, but when they looked at each other once more for a brief moment of reassurance, Robin knew that they both had made their decision, and now they would go through with it. Happily, and without a hint of regret whatsoever. She almost would've smiled to herself when she turned back towards the students ahead of them, and mirrored his stance with her arms crossed behind her back while they watched the dunderheads in silence. Public display or not, this would be over soon, and she would enjoy it as good as possible.

When the hall was finally cleared of tables and seats, and it was just the fourth year Slytherins on one side and the Ravenclaws on the other, all it took was for Snape to move a few steps towards the middle of the hall for everyone to fall silent within seconds. The sheer power he held over people with his mere presence still gave Robin chills, but unlike the effect he had on everyone else in the room, those chills were very much pleasant ones for her. The neutrality on her face stayed set in stone nonetheless, and for a while she merely listened to him explaining the common ordeal much like McGonagall had, but with one subtle difference. She had explained dancing as a cultural custom, a form of etiquette much like properly using one's cutlery, with a clear focus on getting the movements right and sustaining a sense of elegance. Snape however had a bit of a different understanding of what it meant to dance, and Robin couldn't help being mesmerized by the deeper meaning behind his not-quite-so shallow explanation; to him, dancing obviously was an art. It was like a dialogue without words, a mutual understanding of giving and taking with equal care and attention. A game of control and surrender, and yet of equality and trust. Foremost, it was all about one's partner, and not about upholding an outside appearance. That perhaps was the only part he worded quite as directly as Robin knew he meant it, but she had no idea how much of this actually got through to the students. Then again, what wasn't there to understand about the delicacy of a swift and smooth waltz? Going by the looks on the students' faces, obviously a lot.

After the unintentional poetry that seemed entirely wasted on most people currently present, Snape went on to explain the actual dance. Six basic steps, no more and no less, but Robin didn't particularly listen to that part for more than the constant flow of his voice. Instead, she sought out Cas and Jorien in the group of Slytherins, and as her eyes traveled over the students, she found herself surprised by just how many of the faces she had seen before. The vast majority of the fourth years was almost familiar to her at this point, and the rest at least somewhat recognizable. She'd never realized that she'd tutored almost all of them before. But what were their names again…? Good gods, her respect for her teachers grew an ineffable amount for memorizing hundreds upon hundreds of names like it was nothing. How did they do that anyway?

Lost in thought and silent question to herself, she missed the rousing of whispers around the room, the glances thrown at her, and was only drawn out of her head when Snape's voice suddenly sounded from right next to her.

"It is time." He said almost under his breath, in a soft tone that would very well betray his indifferent expression if anyone else would have heard but Robin. Then he offered a hand to her in a simple and silent question, which brought the faintest smile to Robin's lips in return. Of course he wouldn't actually ask, at least not with about fifty pairs of eyes fixed on them quite so intently.

"They're all staring at us…" She breathed with a hint of a smile, then placed her hand in his and ignored the surge of electricity that ran up her arm upon the brush of skin against skin. "Well, at least you have their fullest attention now."

"We do." He corrected quietly as he led her back to the middle of the hall, under the careful watch and quiet commentary of their students, before stopping short and drawing her closer to himself. Robin's hands found their destined places without conscious thought while Snape's did the same, and while she wanted to sigh at the gentle warmth of his palm pressing against her back, she also wanted to smile when he almost leaned into her touch in return. It wasn't a visible reaction, obviously, and neither did she give one herself, but rather a common feeling that fell over them like a soothing blanket of safety and belonging. Her thoughts didn't linger however when a soft music started playing out of nowhere as soon as they had found their positions, and with the easy grace that was to be expected of a proper waltz, they started moving through the wide space of the hall.

It really was quite like he had explained, a wordless dialogue spoken entirely with the eyes in a lingering gaze, and a fixed focus solemnly on each other in the shared movements of the dance. Before long Robin couldn't help smiling a little more brightly than her facade of neutrality could cover up for, but she honestly couldn't care less about it. How was she supposed to hide both her feelings for Snape AND the joy of dancing with him? Impossible. Thus, as it seemed, showing a bit of the lesser evil was the best she could do, and if she looked closely enough, he seemed to be fighting a similar war within himself.

It was much too soon when the musical piece floated to an end on its last notes, and they came to a stand in the middle of the room, which oddly enough had remained quite silent throughout the whole endeavour. Robin's chest was heaving ever so slightly –it had been a while since she'd gotten so much exercise– and she had trouble tearing her eyes away from his, even after the broken second it took her to remember the many students gawking at them. Her smile dimmed down the remaining bit back into neutral territory, she focused on calming her breathing, and finally also took a step backwards to an appropriate distance to her partner. The roaring fire inside of her however didn't dim down in the least, and as she held his gaze for a moment longer, she had no doubt he got a clear view of just that in her eyes. It made the corners of her lips quirk up for a fraction of a second, which elicited much the same reaction from him for an even shorter moment, before he finally turned back towards the students in complete professor mode and with the usual grandeur and billowing robes. Instead of smiling at his antics like she wanted to, Robin merely crossed her arms behind her back with his mirrored signature indifference painted on her face and thought about the last five minutes.

All in all, they had done remarkably well; to the students, it had been nothing but a factual demonstration of a dance, that much she could read on their faces now. It was odd, really, and oh so typical that all of Snape's and even her own microexpressions had gone unnoticed by the majority of students at least. If it hadn't, there surely would be more glances and whispers now. Instead, most of the students simply looked either bored or eager to start practicing themselves, and that really was as good an outcome as she could've hoped for. No one suspected a thing. Brilliant!

Snape briefly gave a few more instructions for the following practice session, effectively threatening everyone to stay in line, and while the students then more or less reluctantly paired up to try their luck, he came to stand next to Robin once again.

"Thank you for a perfect dance." His voice took on the same quiet tone as before, and Robin didn't miss the subtle brush of his arm against her shoulder as he moved past her. She had to smile before she could help it, while her poor pathetic heart skipped more than just one beat.

"Anytime." She breathed in return, and after the second it took her to get a grip on herself now again, they both went on to do just as planned; instructing the dunderheads in the art of dancing, and playing their little game of slightly modified bullshit bingo on the side.

It really was quite a blessing that McGonagall had given them the shorter time frame before lunch, for in no time at all it was nearing noon, and the lesson came to an end when the tables had to be put back into place for the meal. Funnily enough, the students' practice had been more than successful, and in comparison to Robin's memories, the young Slytherins and Ravenclaws had done a whole lot better now than the mixed Slytherin and Gryffindor students under McGonagall's tutelage back then. While the students settled down at the tables that were put back into place, Robin told Snape about her observation –not without a sense of pride, admittedly– and he seemed more than pleased with her words as well. Not that he would ever admit that much while in public, but Robin could tell by the not-smirk and the fairly smug expression he gave McGonagall when she showed up for lunch entirely oblivious to the conversation that had taken place seconds before. That, and he had won at their game by far, which also served to brighten his mood enough to actually show. Yes, for a more or less spontaneous dancing lesson on a gloomy Saturday morning, they really had done their very best, and had –against all odds– had quite a bit of fun on the side.

When the other professors started appearing at the head table in a shocking eagerness not for the impending lunch but for the hottest gossip about the recent dancing class, Robin took it as her cue to leave. She did feel sorry to leave Snape for their curiosity to prey on, but there was nothing she could do other than giving him an encouraging smile and say 'laters' in the hopes he would know that he still had their afternoon plans which he could look forward to. If he was remotely as happy about them as she was, that is. But then again, finishing their experimental potion and taking a walk in the snow were rather lovely prospects indeed.

With an almost defeated sigh, Robin finally made for the Ravenclaw table where Jorien and Cas had already taken a seat and were now chatting (or rather bickering) away like always.

"Hey guys… how'd you like the dancing?" She asked as she flopped down on the bench next to Jorien, for the space next to Cas was obviously reserved for the boys who had yet to appear. "Both of you did quite well, actually, if you'd fancy to hear my opinion on it."

The girls fell silent in but a second, and then continued to stare at Robin for a moment in an unspoken agreement that made her uneasy. Had she said something wrong? It was just supposed to be a compliment…

"Are we really doing this?" Cas asked in return, ignoring the previous question entirely.

"Yes we are." Jorien chuckled. "It's Robin, what did you expect?"

"Nothing but this, actually."

"Right?!"

"Guys!" Robin protested with a frown, and alternating glances between both of them. "What's going on? Explain."

"Did you know that you smiled while dancing with Snape?" Cas asked with a smug smile of her own. "Not enough for anyone else to take special notice of, obviously, but we've known you and your subtlety for years now. It was hard to miss that you actually smiled for once."

"And?" Robin raised an eyebrow at her in return, and she had a vague feeling where this conversation was going. Not good.

"You never smile." Cas replied with a huff in amusement. "You smirk, or sneer, but you never smile."

"Of course I smile! Quite often even." She defended herself immediately, but as she ran through her memories of instances where she'd knowingly smiled, she came to realize that the majority if not all of them had been in the sole company of one potions professor. Oh dear.

"You don't, Robin. Hardly ever, and even then it's not like an actual happy smile. Nor is it sincere like this one." Jorien added in a bit more mildly, but no less amused. "It was nice to see what you look like when you truly enjoy yourself."

The heat crept up and along Robin's neck and onto her cheeks in an instant, while the churning of her stomach grew a bit too strong to merely indicate a timely desire for lunch. Bloody hell, she hadn't really thought about how the girls might perceive the situation… they did know her a lot better than any of the other students indeed, and that might very well lead to some unforeseen consequences. It already had, obviously. Damnit.

"Well, and so what? I did enjoy myself a lot while dancing, yes. I already told you during breakfast that he's the best partner I've ever had, so logically I do enjoy dancing with him. Otherwise I'd hardly have volunteered to help him with the lesson." She tried to shrug it off like she often did when she didn't want to talk about an issue. Playing things down, and distracting the opponents by giving small chunks of the truth on other areas. "He's my friend, of course I'd help him with the class. Especially when McGonagall just asked him to do it out of the blue last night."

"Oh, so he's your friend now, huh?" Cas grinned, and Jorien smacked her in the shoulder across the table, much to the blond girl's irritation. "What, I didn't say anything wrong! Before now, Robin always rather made a point of it that they're just working together."

"It's not supposed to become known that we're friends, alright? It might give people the wrong impressions, so keep your voices down, yes?" Robin gave both girls a pointed look, and they reluctantly nodded in agreement. "So, perhaps I did smile while dancing with him. I like him, and I like dancing with him. Is there an issue with that?"

"No!" Cas replied in an instant, with rising eyebrows and an apologetic expression. "Of course not, rather on the contrary!"

Robin gave her a questioning frown in return, but before she could make an attempt to ask just what she meant by that, Jorien jumped in.

"What Cas means is that it's nice to know that you two are close to each other." She said with a diplomatic expression, then however with a smirk at Robin. "And it certainly explains why the years of trying to get you to date someone were entirely wasted."

"I don't see how that correlates." Robin replied flatly, with a too perfect neutral facade to actually be indifferent, and both younger girls snorted in an instant.

"Oh come on!" Cas was back at grinning widely, but at least she kept her voice down like she'd been asked to. "You might be able to fool everyone else, but you can't tell us that you're not totally crushing on him!"

"Ballroom dancing is the most open expression of sexuality the past times had to offer, and you two are honestly the perfect example of it. Quite rude of you though, to lie when we asked you about your crushes on your birthday…" Jorien added in with a smirk and one raised eyebrow that reminded Robin too much of herself. "Because whatever this is between you and him, it's certainly been going on for a lot longer than that."

"I didn't lie." Robin defended herself quietly. She was slowly running out of ideas for how to get out of this situation without anyone taking too much damage in the process. "I never lie. You guys know that."

"I still don't believe you. You're extremely subtle about it, I'll give you that, but you definitely act differently around him than with anybody else I've ever seen you with." Cas stated it as a matter of fact that didn't leave any room for Robin to effectively protest while sticking to the truth. "I don't remotely understand why, and it really is quite weird to think about, but you are definitely attracted to him. Why don't you just admit to what we already know anyway?"

"I do not have a crush, okay?!" Robin's patience was wearing thinner and thinner the more students filed into the room who might overhear the conversation. It was bad enough that her roommates had caught onto matters; she didn't need the rest of the school to know as well. Least of all the person in discussion. "Just leave it be."

"I really don't know why you're being so defensive about it." Cas rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "In an odd way it's really kinda cute. You and him, I mean. You're pretty similar to each other. The more I think about it, the more I ship it."

"I don't even want to know what that means, but will you please just shut up about it now?" Robin groaned under her breath and resisted the temptation to rest her face in her hands in despair. That would draw way too much unwanted attention to her now. "You're making a fool of yourself."

"To be honest, I also think you're a good match." Jorien shrugged, but her words were spoken in all honesty no less. "Definitely uncommon, but rather sweet indeed. I've always wondered who on earth might be able to keep up with you, but I guess I've been too blind to see the answer right in front of me."

"I cannot believe you two!" Robin scoffed in sincere discomfort now. Why on earth did they have to torture her like that, after already finding out a secret she'd been hiding perfectly well for over four bloody years?! "You really are being ridiculous, just listen to yourselves. What on earth would he want with me, huh? Remember who you are talking about; it's a miracle that he deems me bearable enough to be my friend in the first place."

"So you do admit to having a crush on him then?"

"Stop. It. Now." Robin hissed at Cas with a glare that made the girl squirm in her seat. "I do not have a crush on anyone, and if you little chits refuse to stop nagging me about it, you will have to find yourselves a new tutor who puts up with your nonsense."

Yes, lashing out at them wasn't really the fairest thing to do, Robin was well aware of that. But she was hurt and annoyed and honestly, they would have forgotten about it by dinnertime already anyway. She just couldn't take any more tinder to the stupid flame of hope that was just roaring back to life now, especially not after last night. She had to trample and suffocate it right in this instant, before she would burn herself and quite possibly drag some collateral right down into the depth of destruction with her. So yes, it was an overreaction to their usual teenage behaviour, but it was a necessary overreaction to keep at least part of her sanity intact.

"I understand." Jorien was the first to speak up for once, and the smile and ease on her face made way for seriousness. "I understand that we were wrong about assuming that you have a crush on him; he's only your best friend, and you don't crush on your best friend. After all, you told us that much on your birthday already, and you don't ever lie."

"Yes! Thank you!" Robin rolled her eyes at her own scoff, but somehow the girl's words only now sunk in when it was too late already.

"Huh… so that's why you never told us who your best friend was. I admit, it all makes an odd amount of sense now that the two pieces become one." Jorien said with a surprised little huff, but Robin only took notice of how her own body became dead weight with a start. Her thoughts were tumbling over each other in panic and confusion and the growing urge to run, while Cas merely frowned at her in confusion. The hall was too warm all of a sudden, and void of air to breathe.

"You tricked me." Robin's lips formed the words without her conscious intention. "If I wasn't quite so furious about it, I would be proud."

"Well, I just put the pieces together." Jorien replied with an almost triumphant half smile. "And it's not like you were ever going to tell us. But I just had to know."

"Of course you did." Robin's voice came out cold and sharp and still somewhat indifferent, for now the pain and anger were gone with a start. She just felt numb, and perhaps a little betrayed. No, actually a lot.

"So… what?" Cas frowned at both of them in confusion. "Who's who now? What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm sure Jorien will explain it to you. She's got it all figured out now, doesn't she…" Robin replied coldly and tried to get up from the bench at last, to get out of this situation even at the cost of her own lunch, but a surprisingly strong grip held her down. Damn her short legs, really… why on earth did a fifteen year old have to be taller than her?

"Don't go… please, I'm sorry." Jorien said, and at least she sounded sincerely apologetic as she removed her hand from Robin's arms. "I didn't mean to upset you. Really. I just… I had to know if I was right."

Something in Robin deflated at the girl's sad words and pale blue eyes, and she slumped back down in her seat with a sigh. Damn her own empathy… damn the parts of herself she kept seeing in her. She just wanted to be mad in peace, but with Jorien apologising and Cas entirely confused, she found that she could uphold neither the numbness nor the anger.

"Sometimes being right isn't as nice as it seems." Robin finally said, but she didn't look at Jorien even once while doing so. "I'd gladly be wrong sometimes just to spare people the pain of truth."

"I didn't consider that."

"I know. Try to think about the reasons people keep things to themselves the next time you figure out their personal matters." She sighed, and while Jorien nodded, Robin turned to Cas. "And you… perhaps it'll help you to know that I only have and ever had one friend who isn't currently a student here."

"I still don't get it." Cas frowned with a rather helpless expression, and while Robin just sighed in defeat again, Jorien climbed over the still empty table in sheer annoyance, then grabbed her friend by the tie and aggressively whispered something in her ear that made her eyes go wide. So much for secrets, really… at least she was hissing quietly.

"So…" Cas started, with a weary and yet astonished expression, while Jorien climbed back over the table into her own seat. "You didn't lie after all. You really don't just have a crush on him…"

"I'm not saying a single word more on the matter." Robin shut her straight back down and finally got a grip on her emotions, forcing them all into submission and behind the neutrality. It didn't actually matter that they knew; they had kept quiet about her secrets before, and they would do it again now. They knew better than to mess with her, didn't they?

"You don't have to say anything." Jorien replied with a sigh, as she flopped back down in her seat. "But I think you're wrong if you think that he doesn't feel the same way about you. If he knows it or not."

"Yeah, just take the way he looks at you…" Cas added, while Robin kept on pretending to ignore both of them. "Like you're the answer to the universe's greatest questions nobody but him yet dared to ask."

"Cas! That's an oddly fitting description for the complexity of the issue, I'm thoroughly impressed!" Jorien smiled at her friend with an incredulous frown; obviously Robin wasn't the only one surprised by Cas' sudden string of poetic wisdom.

"Oh, those are Simon's words actually." Cas shrugged easily. "He's said a few times how S-... someone always looks at Robin like that, but I always dismissed it as him trying to be funny. Well, until I saw it for myself today. And he is SO right about it, he'll love that."

"You are not telling Simon about any of this." Robin snapped before she could help it. Damn her fast mouth, honestly, but this was not going anywhere else from here!

"But-..."

"No."

"He's-..."

"No."

"Fine." Cas rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, then leaned forward onto her arms that she had crossed on the tabletop. "But honestly Robin, you spend every day and night with him, he lets you use his classroom and his lab and he willingly goes on all those weird excursions with you… I doubt that there's anything he wouldn't do for you, now that I think about it."

"You probably have him all wrapped around your finger. You're just too oblivious or too deep in denial to see it." Jorien added with a smirk a mere second later, and Cas nodded in agreement.

"I wish to extend my previous statement: neither of us is losing another word about this from now on!" Robin stated, then motioned towards the entrance. "The boys are finally moving their lazy arses over here, and I officially declare the previous topic to be over and done with for now and the future."

"Fine. For now." Jorien shrugged, then gave Robin another pointed look. "But remember our words, at least: There is literally nothing that man wouldn't do for you, and we all know there is only one reason for that. You don't have to believe us, but at least give the reality around you a chance before burying yourself in all those delusions you hide behind. You aren't the type to let fear control your life, so open your eyes for God's sake!"

Robin glowered at Jorien until Cas kicked her under the table, giving both of them an overly cheerful but obviously feigned smile, which made Robin redirect her scowl indeed. Jorien however just snorted at Cas' expression, then Cas started chuckling as well, and finally Robin couldn't help the smile tugging at her lips either. They were horrible, really, a bunch of bloody dunderheads, but they also were annoyingly supportive sometimes. False hope they were giving her or not, it at least made Robin happy that her friends were trying to help her. And if they were so easily accepting of the subject of her affections, even if he wasn't technically someone they liked much, they really must care about her wellbeing and happiness quite a bit to still push her in that direction. That thought, the fact that they actually cared, was a good enough outcome of the conversation; the rest would do well to stay buried in the shadows where it belonged. Delusions or not.

"Ladies…" Gideon greeted them with a large grin as he sat down on the bench next to Cas, making it quiver even as Simon took a seat on the girl's other side. "Good noon to you all."

"Your good mood is disgusting." Michael grumbled as he took on his usual perch next to Jorien, who greeted him with a mere nod. She still managed to politely maneuver around any and every of his advances without a word, and by now he had mostly given up on it and moved on to try for a casual friendship like he had with everyone else instead. Didn't change the fact that Michael looked positively pissed at Gideon, and glared at him from across the table now. "He's already finished his bloody charms essay and keeps rubbing it in our faces."

"Prideful, are we? How terribly Slytherin of you, especially for a Ravenclaw." Robin smirked at Gideon, and the remainder of the group chuckled in agreement. Yeah, they really were a big bunch of dunderheads. But sometimes, in little moments like this, Robin found that she didn't actually mind being one of them.

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

Text

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.30}

*Severus Snape x OC*

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4.7k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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"Yet. Right." Robin repeated in a sigh, then removed her wand from her hair when the bun started hurting her head. It did little to lessen the headache that was starting to drum through her skull, but shaking her hair out of the restraint at least took some of the tension away. Little victories like that were important too.

"Actually, we do have a few answers now." Snape said after a moment, after again watching gravity at work on untangling the mess of waves cascading down Robin's back. "Morgan did come in here, and he most likely was talking about the portrait today indeed. We still have to see about the earrings, in due time. Other than that, we now have an answer to a question that goes all the way back to the start of this term."

"What do you mean?"

"The night of the welcoming feast. Morgan brought it up himself today, which quite honestly is what made me draw the connection in the first place."

"Right… You mean the entire ordeal in the hallway which McGonagall brought to an end."

"Yes. During your encounter back then, Morgan wanted to hold on to your locket as a keepsake. That line of behavior would certainly make more sense if at that point he already was in the possession of the portrait, seeing as the locket is perhaps not the most obvious, but indeed the most palpable connection between you and the woman portrayed. He hardly would have known about the locket otherwise, seeing as it isn't the most noticeable piece of jewelry."

"You're absolutely right… I should've thought of that connection way earlier!" Robin groaned in annoyance at herself, astonishment at the fact, and concern at the implications. How Snape even remembered little details like that was incredible in its own right, but the fact that Morgan might have been after the locket because of the portrait was a revelation she hadn't thought would clear the picture of the past events in her mind quite so much. Things at last started making a little more sense. "My locket and the portrait are connected somehow, that much we already could tell years ago. But it makes me uneasy to think that Morgan has something to do with it."

"Likewise. Perhaps you should take it off for the time being, until the issue is solved."

"Yeah… The bracelet too, probably, sad as that makes me. It was the first thing you gave to me that I didn't have to return by the end of the week like the books I borrowed." She smiled up at him, a sad half smile that showed defeat more than humour. "But you were the first person who ever gave me anything for my birthday at all, who ever thought of me in the first place, and that's all that matters to me. I can live without a piece of jewelry."

"I really was the first to give you a gift for your birthday? In all of eighteen years?"

"Yes. The very best gift even, when you got Jorien and Cas to make me see the day as a real celebration worth having. But I have to admit, you asking Dumbledore to take the bracelet out of this room was also-..." Robin cut herself off in the middle of her sentence, then stopped in her track and stood glued to the spot. The nagging in her mind turned into a sledgehammer that tore down the brick wall that had obscured her sight before, but now that it was gone, she could finally see. Or rather, she could wonder.

"What is it?" Snape asked as he came to stand right in front of her, both concerned and curious as ever. That really was a good way to sum up both of their sentiments currently, concerned and curious. "Robin?"

"Wait a second…" She replied on autopilot, while her mind pondered a question that she finally decided to voice when she couldn't answer it herself. "When you wanted to give me the bracelet, did you ask Dumbledore before or after removing it from this room?"

"Before, obviously, because-…" Now it was him who stopped in the middle of the sentence, when he caught on to Robin's line of thought. "Because one cannot remove from this place what was left for storage here without the current headmaster's permission."

"That's what I thought." Robin replied with a long breath, then jumped into action to look around herself in a sudden spark of adrenaline, upon which she finally picked up a random book from a pile to her right. "Let's test that theory, shall we?"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, it-..." He didn't get any further, for Robin had crossed the remaining few steps towards the door, then opened it and tossed the book through the opening and out into the hallway beyond. She tried to, at least, for the book got caught in the air in the middle of the door frame, floating there for but a broken second, before it was catapulted right back into the room of hidden things at a speed that turned the harmless piece of literature into a lethal projectile. Robin was just lucky that Snape pulled her out of the way in an instant, otherwise the flying book would have taken quite a bit of work off Morgan's hands. They didn't have time for her timely end right now!

"You really are remarkable at putting yourself in harm's way." Snape huffed in concern-turned-annoyance when the loud clattering of the book's distant landing had subsided, and it was just then that Robin realized how desperately he was clawing onto her right now. She felt bad for repeatedly scaring him in an instant; first the thing with Morgan –which hadn't technically been her fault, but it still counted to worry him– and now this thoughtlessness on her end. Or rather the result of too much thinking, and too little care for the real world results in contrast to the intellectual gain of the endeavour. Why was she only ever truly scared of getting hurt by people, not by something she did to herself? It was one more thing to work on at some point.

"You're remarkable at keeping me out of harm's way in return. And to be fair, I didn't think it would do that out of all the things it could've done." She finally replied with a weak half smile as she looked up at him. No. Humour wouldn't do now, that much was clearly written on his face. She sighed in resignation. "I'm sorry. That was stupid of me, I should've known better. This whole day, the thing with Morgan… it has thrown me into an odd ambivalence myself. I'm absolutely terrified and at the same time all the adrenaline makes me act like I'm bloody invincible. But that's no excuse, it really was just stupid of me and I'm sorry."

"Coming that close to death doesn't pass by anyone without consequences. Neither does torture." He said after a few seconds of silence, with an expression almost as guilty as Robin's own. "It is only too reasonable that your behaviour is rather erratic, and even if I cannot say I appreciate it, I do very well understand it. If anything, I am surprised by how well you seem to cope with the situation."

"It's not the first time I've come closer to death than anyone should. Only the first time I know who the person is that wants to see me dead." She shrugged in return, but after taking one glance at the expression of prevailing concern on Snape's face, she rested her forehead against his shoulder and gave in to the urge to lean into him once more with a sigh. She knew that he didn't mind in the least… and the work that kept her on her feet might as well wait for a minute. "To be honest, it's currently less coping and more of simply repressing and pushing through. Just wait until tonight when I actually have the time to come down from the adrenaline… It'll be a nightmare."

"I will be there." He replied quietly, holding her closer against himself than his calm demeanour would suggest, then remained silent for a moment longer before speaking on. "Stay with me tonight."

"That must be a first." Robin chuckled quietly, but kept her eyes closed to enjoy at least this short moment of calm for now. "Usually I have to pretend to be asleep for you to let me stay over in your rooms."

"You are terrible at pretending, I can always tell when you do."

"Only because I want you to."

"I know…" He replied in as close to a sigh as his composure allowed. "And I know that I will not be able to close my eyes for even a minute tonight if you are not with me."

"Not without seeing all that could have been if things had ended differently. Without the shadows and ghosts and darkness. I know, all too well." She said, then smiled into the cloud of fabric around her. "And in addition to that, it's been way too long since I stayed over last, even though I always love to. Whenever it's possible. You know that."

"I do indeed."

"And I love you. Beyond what's possible."

"I know." His tone let on a hint of a smile, then he placed a fleeting kiss on the top of her head while his arms around her tightened their hold so much that Robin had to smile. He never said he loved her with words in return. He didn't need to.

"We should get back to work… It's almost time for dinner, and I want to check Morgan's office before then." She said after taking a deep breath to savour the comforting scent of him, of home. "I really have no wish to run into him again today. Especially not after just discovering that we are the underdogs in this entire issue."

"What makes you think that we are?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She asked as she pulled back at last, and fully snapped back into work mode as they left the room of hidden things behind to walk through the dark corridors of the castle again. "If Morgan had to ask for Dumbledore's permission to take the painting, then the old man must know why Morgan wanted it in the first place. He wouldn't have given him the permission if he hadn't seen through his reasons entirely."

"I agree."

"So Dumbledore knows why this is happening, he knows Morgan's reasons. He knows what Morgan is doing to me. He gave Morgan the permission to keep the painting, and he has let him proceed in what he has been doing to me for years now."

"Indeed. But we have been aware of that problem for a while now."

"Dumbledore never does anything that isn't to his own advantage. And if he lets Morgan do all that to me…" Robin sighed gravely, and looked up at Snape with the most serious expression. "I think Dumbledore wants Morgan to kill me."

"That is-..." Snape cut himself and his automatic response off in an instant, but he returned Robin's dark expression nonetheless for a moment while her words seemed to run circles in his mind. Finally, he seemed to find his own line of thought again. "While I do have to agree with your reasoning, there is still a lot speaking against the conclusion you came to. I am not saying you aren't right, but I believe there is more to it than that. You are leaving certain matters out of the equation."

"And what would that be?"

"Me, for example."

"You?" Robin frowned at him in confusion. "You'll have to elaborate on that."

"If Dumbledore wanted you dead, why would he have been in favour of the connection between you and me right from the start, and at every point since?" Snape quirked an eyebrow at Robin in return. "He is a brilliant man, I have no doubt he knew that we would end up where we are now long before we did. Thus he must have known that we would always stand two against one in the end. My involvement makes it infinitely more difficult to have you killed, which in return would make it unreasonable for him to encourage our relations. "

"You're right… That doesn't add up." Robin mused with a lingering frown. "Neither does the book he gave me, now that I think about it. Ensuring that I know more about the unforgivables than the person he wants to see killing me would be an odd way to prepare me for slaughter."

"Correct."

"What a fucking mess…" Robin groaned under her breath, then rolled her eyes to herself and at the ceiling before taking a deep breath to regain some composure. "So if Dumbledore doesn't want me dead, then why would he let Morgan proceed in trying to kill me? It's not like he couldn't put an immediate end to those efforts if he actually wanted to…"

"That we will find out. Morgan's reasons as well as Dumbledore's."

"With my luck, I probably have to die to prevent the world's impending demise or something likely unlikely… The most exaggeratedly dramatic thing we could ever think of, that will probably be my fate. Just for irony's sake."

"I will gladly see the world in ashes before I let you die."

"I know." She had to smile yet again, and couldn't resist to take his hand and give it a gentle squeeze even though they were in public. If one wanted to call a secret passageway from the seventh floor down to the fourth 'public', that is. "But whether it's the world we're saving or just me, I refuse to die before I graduate. I've put far too much effort into my essays and homework recently to let that all go to waste!"

Snape let out something that sounded like a snort and a scoff at once, and quietly shook his head to himself as they finally reached the fourth floor and crossed over into another corridor to continue their path towards Morgan's classroom. Robin was content with the reaction, and focused back on the matter at hand.

"How do we go on from here?" She asked in a whisper only, for who knew which prying ears might be nearby in a public hallway like this. "I mean… If we find it here, how do we go on?"

"We could confront the headmaster, for example. With a piece of evidence like that, not even he could deny his involvement in the issue. He might not give us the truth, but perhaps more leads to follow nonetheless."

"That sounds as close to a plan as we will probably get." Robin nodded, more to herself than to him. "In any case, McGonagall seems to know something about this entire thing as well, and I'm not convinced she's too happy about any of this either. She wanted to tell me, but the headmaster obviously asked her not to, and I at least can respect her loyalty. Too bad it is Dumbledore who is at the receiving end of it… She would make a good ally."

"Curious that you have taken a liking to Minerva after all."

"Oh, you know… If McGonagall can work with Jorien, who really isn't the easiest person to deal with from my own experience, she deserves some credit at least, if not my sincere respect."

"Funny." Snape replied with a not-smirk. "A while ago, she said much the same thing about you, for working with me."

Robin had to bite her lip quite hard to keep from snorting. They were in close proximity to the defense classroom, and loud noises like that were a no-go at this point if they wanted to successfully break and enter without drawing attention. So she settled for a soundless laugh, and a small smirk to follow it up.

"I'm glad someone recognizes the troubles of working with you at last." She whispered back softly, glancing up at Snape for but a second, which in return sufficed to take notice of the feigned glare and the not-smirk. Good… humour might do them good at this point.

"If anything, you brought the trouble into my life." He protested with a huff, while checking the corridor for anyone or anything that could observe them. Then he opened the door to the classroom with the same spell that sealed his own down in the dungeons. Robin was surprised, but very much pleased that he seemed to be doing all the breaking for now, and she only had to enter.

"I didn't bring trouble into your life!" She replied nonetheless as they walked into the room, after she'd closed the door behind them and locked it back up. It was no secret that Morgan never came to his classroom nor his office on weekends… Thus the risk of getting caught in here on this late afternoon really was minimal. "As far as I remember, you have far more trouble with people who are not me."

"That, for once, is true." He mused, but kept his eyes on the door to the office they were now approaching. "But you made me realize that I have trouble with everyone who isn't you. Before I met you, I simply thought the world was supposed to be cold and cruel like that, but then you had to saunter into my life and make me question every single thing I believed to know. You just had to show me happiness and thereby make everything that isn't you straight up unbearable, didn't you?" His sigh was dripping with so much feigned annoyance and the utmost irony that Robin couldn't help snorting at last.

"I won't apologise for bringing trouble into your life in that case." She smiled as she watched him working on the sturdy wooden door with spells she doubted were even suitable for the occasion. But she let him proceed anyway. "Seeing as the trouble only extends to people who aren't me."

"I did not say that, nor would I ever dare to." He returned a half-smirk, which made Robin roll her eyes with an even wider smile.

"Why is that?" She finally asked in an attempt not to laugh. They were breaking in somewhere… This wasn't the time for teasing and jokes, and yet they had chosen precisely this time to humour each other indeed. Oh well, why start being ordinary now, after all.

"I might have been surprised for a second, that you didn't consider breaking into my colleague's office as trouble, but then I remembered your liberal approach to breaking into places, which you displayed on multiple occasions last summer. Now, I am led to believe that perhaps you are trouble after all."

"And what if I am?" She raised her eyebrows at him with a small smirk. "Seeing as you've been causing trouble together with me all this time, I could say you're no better."

"You certainly are better at breaking into places than I am." He stated with a scowl at the still closed door, then quirked an eyebrow at Robin. "Would you be so kind to open the door now or is watching me fail too amusing for that?"

"It is quite amusing, but I'll open the door nonetheless." Robin chuckled at his feigned annoyance, then went to make quick work of Morgan's more than poor wards and locks. Thirty seconds later, the door was open, and a smug expression painted on her face as she looked up at Snape at last. "There you go. Anything else I can assist you with?"

"Do shut up, will you?" He grumbled, but Robin only had to snicker as they went to search the office. She knew that he was impressed with her knowledge of legal spells, and even more so by her knowledge of what was (in her opinion unrightfully) considered dark magic. That area didn't only extend to curses after all, and more often than not some of those unseemly spells served them better in their work than the school taught ones did. Either way, right now she knew that his entire dismissive demeanour was merely meant to humour her, and it really did serve that purpose wonderfully well.

After a good ten minutes of searching with as well as without magic, they had to realize though that the portrait wasn't here, nor was anything else that could've given them a clue about the current mysteries. Disappointed but not yet defeated, they locked the office door back up the way they had found it and made their way back out into the hallway. Unseen as ever. By now, it was about dinnertime, and thus they redirected their destination to the great hall instead of the dungeons.

"His private rooms will be a lot more difficult to search." Robin sighed as they reached the staircase that luckily was yet -or already- void of students. "He spends most of his time working from there, especially in the evenings. Or at least that's what I've heard. My information about him doesn't stretch beyond the gossip that makes rounds these days."

"We have to be certain he won't interrupt our search, or it would pose an ideal opportunity for him to justify another attempt on your life. Removing him from the castle shouldn't be a problem though, I believe I can arrange that without drawing too much attention to our goals."

"Wait, what? You can?"

"Years of knowing each other, and you still doubt me. Unbelievable."

"I wouldn't dare to."

He returned a small glare upon her sarcastic tone, but beneath the public facade of stony indifference, there was a layer of humour as almost always these days. Robin doubted that anyone but her had ever seen it though.

"In all seriousness, how soon can you get him away from the castle?" She asked after a moment, as they came to a stop in the hallway that led to the main entrance of the great hall on one end, and to the backdoor on the other. They usually went separate ways from here on, always careful not to arrive together at the wrong times and make the wrong impressions on the wrong people.

"An hour after dinner, perhaps a bit later. But in return he will be gone for a few hours at the least." He replied in certainty, and Robin wondered just how he was going to do that. Especially so quickly, after a day like this that hadn't been easy on Morgan either. She'd have to pay attention during the meal or simply ask about it later. After a few seconds, Snape added, "That should suffice to search his quarters, I believe."

Robin let out a breath in relief upon the prospect of a timely solution, then offered him a smile. "Great. I'll set up the dunderhead gang in the entrance hall to check when he leaves. That way we can be absolutely certain he's gone and not coming back. They can hold watch at least until curfew."

"I could always write them a note to have them stay out later than that, you know… At least I can for the girls. The Ravenclaws are out of my influence."

"I'm aware." She smiled at the memory of her own permission note to break curfew. Gods, that was long ago. "Perhaps we can send them up to the astronomy tower, from up there one can see the very foot of the hill. That would allow for a warning in time to make an escape. I'll ask Cas and Melissa; Jorien's got work with McGonagall, if I'm not mistaken."

Snape scoffed, then rolled his eyes in that lovely exaggerated manner. "Does Minerva ever give the girl a break?"

"Says the man who used to make me work every single night until four o'clock in the morning!" Robin laughed, then shook her head both at him and to herself. "Even on bloody school days!"

"You never seemed to mind." Snape protested with an almost sullen look, and if that was even in the realm of possibility, Robin believed he would start pouting if they'd been alone. Gods, that man was a mystery above all others.

"I didn't just not mind; I absolutely loved it even." Robin replied almost reassuringly, but with more humour than she could tone down. "But so does Jorien. She enjoys working with McGonagall, even if by far more normal hours than we do. No longer than midnight on Fridays and Saturdays and no longer than ten on school nights."

Now, Snape actually did snort for once, even out here in public. "We weren't even done with coffee at that time of night for the majority of the last years."

"We really are a terrible example though!"

"Are we, now? We usually are done working by midnight these days, aren't we?" He raised an eyebrow at her again, more teasing than serious, and Robin was sure they would miss dinner if they kept going like this. It had happened on more than one occasion.

"Well yes, we are, but for entirely different reasons!" She gave him a look, then a smile, then shook her head to herself as her cheeks tinted pink no matter how much she tried to prevent it. They really were done with work earlier than ever these days, as that left them with way more time for private matters afterwards. Not that those private matters didn't occasionally sneak into the lab or the office as well… they did get distracted quite regularly, even. But still, they tried to somehow keep school business and private matters separate now more than ever. That however did not apply for private studies, experiments or research, which they were more than happy to do in their very own kind of way, as they always had. Anyhow, Robin took a deep breath, then tried focusing on the matter at hand. "So, you get Morgan out of the castle as soon as possible, I bargain with Cas and Melissa, and you write them a note later for whoever has patrol duties tonight. Right?"

"Indeed. What reason for your request will you be telling the girls? And what are you willing to offer them in return?"

Robin scoffed, then smirked up at him in both humour and a certain smugness she didn't bother to hide. "What makes you think that they are going to do me the favour? The better question would be what they are willing to do for me if I set up a past curfew visit to the astronomy tower for them. Because they have always wanted to sit there and freeze their little butts off all night. They just don't know it yet."

"Clever." The not-smirk was back in an instant, as was the subtlest expression of pride. "As always."

"I'm trying my best." She replied with a softer smile. "As always."

"I know. I wouldn't be so confident in our plan under any different circumstances. Neither would I break into places for that matter, if it wasn't for you."

"Really?" She quirked an eyebrow at him in utmost doubt of what he was saying, and the smirk on her lips made him roll his eyes with a hidden one of his own.

"Dinner. Now. You can harass me later."

"Is that an invitation or are you trying to flirt with me?"

"Get out of my sight already."

With quiet laughter that resonated off the stones around them as a feather light echo, Robin gave him another look that said more than a million words could, then finally made her way down the remainder of the hallway and towards the main entrance with quick steps and a smile on her face. It felt good to laugh and joke again… but she had also learned her lesson today, knew perfectly well what was at stake, and that's precisely why she kept an ever careful eye on her surroundings now more than ever. They still were on a mission after all. A mission they were going to set into action now.

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