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wintervalewritersecond · 1 year

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siren song - xavier thorpe

requested: yes! requests: open! Hii! I was wondering if you could please a do an Xavier x f!Reader where maybe they are like best friends but she likes him and he doesn’t realize and he starts hanging around Wednesday more. the reader starts to feel neglected so she basically asks bianca to use her siren powers to make her forget Xavier, bianca is hesitant but she does it and Xavier finds out and it’s really angsty cause like his best friend doesn’t remember him? up to you if the spell can be reversed and if they have a happy ending or not! Thank you sm in advanced :)

A/N: you will not BELIEVE!! how excited i am for this request! im planning on turning it into multiple parts, so we will see how it works out <;33

wordcount: 5,359 warnings: me not knowing anything abt school systems, she/her reader, a small bit of angst, xavier abandoning reader, reader has telekinesis, lots of smaller scenes that are similar to the ones in the show, asking bianca to manipulate you, few curse words part 2

You have been best friends with Xavier for the longest time and you were convinced he shared romantic feelings for you as well. But, when he starts to become head over heels for the new girl and ignores you at the Rave'n, you can only think of one solution. Bianca's Siren Song.

The first half of the semester had passed already, as you were now finally on your break. One week to do anything you wanted which meant you could go back home, but this time, you decided to stay at Nevermore. Xavier mentioned that he wouldn't be going anywhere anyway; his father didn't care if he came by, and to spare himself the trouble, he would just stay at Nevermore and close to his art studio.

So, considering you are his best friend, you decide to also stay. Surely not because you have feelings for him. Though, that might also have weighed in as you made your decision to stay.

"Finally!"

Xavier lets himself fall down on your bed. Yoko had left for the week, leaving you all alone in the big room. You hated being alone for too long, so you invited Xavier over. He was one of the only people that would stay at Nevermore anyway.

"If I had to listen to any more talking about plants, I would have set the classroom on fire," he mumbles as his face is planted in your pillow, making it hard for you to hear what he is talking about.

You let out a laugh before dropping your bag next to the bed. After three hours of Botany, you could also take a break from the subject.

"Hm," you nod, sitting down next to his legs. "Are you down for a trip to Jericho? We can get some drinks and snacks, movie night?"

Xavier immediately looks up, nodding his head before rolling off the bed. It was a 25-minute walk, but the sun was shining and it wasn't too cold, so it wouldn't be that bad.

After two hours you are finally back in your dorm. The shopping had taken a bit longer as both you and Xavier had forgotten to change out of your Nevermore uniforms, resulting in some nasty glares and bad comments from the townspeople.

"Weren't those freaks supposed to be going home?" You look back at the voice, seeing a small group of guys around your age huddled together, snickering and laughing at you and Xavier. The tall boy pulls your arm, trying to get you away from the group. "Come on, they're just assholes. No need to make a fuss," he whispers in your ear. With a deep breath you turn around, but not before making the can in one of the guys' hands fly to the ground as it explodes on impact, soaking the group in the sticky soda. You let out a chuckle before following Xavier back to Nevermore.

After getting some dinner in the Quad, you race upstairs again. Normally, there are no guys allowed in Ophelia Hall, so you had to sneak Xavier in. Luckily you had done that many times before already, and if you were extra lucky, Thornhill would let you go without any hassle.

Your desk gets filled with all the snacks that the two of you had gotten in Jericho. There is so much, that you wouldn't be surprised if it lasted more than only a week.

"All right, so do you vote for an animated movie, action, romance, horror?"

Xavier was busy picking out a movie as you transformed your bed into some type of 'movie watching paradise'. It is filled with enough blankets and pillows to be a bird's nest, but at least it is comfortable and warm. Once the movie is chosen, Xavier scoots in next to you. The bed is meant for only one person, so it was a tight fit, but neither of you acknowledged it. If anything, it made your heart race faster as your cheeks felt warmer. You have had feelings for Xavier for a while now, never knowing if he returned them, though he has never proven that he didn't.

And that is how the week flew by.

Hanging out in either your or his dorm and sometimes even in the art studio. You weren't the best artist, but you would just sit and watch him paint, handing over some drinks and snacks during the day as you worked on your own thing. Then, at night, you would watch a movie or listen to music before dozing off.

Slowly, all the Nevermore students start coming back, and the dorms fill up again. Yoko had also come back, so you stopped sneaking Xavier in for a bit. Not that Yoko really cared, but you thought that she would maybe want to enjoy the room by herself for a bit before you invited him in.

"Oh my God, Y/N! I haven't seen you in so long," Enid squeals, wrapping her arms around you as you finally joined your group in the Quad. "You will never guess what news I have!"

"What is it?"

"I'm getting a roommate!" She cheers. "I have been alone this entire semester, but Thornhill told me that on Monday, I will finally get a roomie!"

Ajax winces, a distraught look on his face.

"You're forgetting the part where she ate her classmate."

Enid rolls her eyes, shaking her head.

"It wouldn't be the weirdest thing at Nevermore. though it is kinda weird... Anyway, it's only a rumor."

You look at Xavier and he only shrugs, a smirk on his face as the two of you look at the bickering between Ajax and Enid. It is only a matter of waiting to see if there will be an actual cannibal in your school or not.

That evening, Xavier invited you to the Nightshade Library to chill there. 'A quiet moment before the shit show starts again,' he had said, and you couldn't agree more. Not to mention that there was only a small group of people who knew how to get into the library.

"Do you think the new girl is actually a cannibal?"

Xavier bursts out laughing before spinning the pencil in his hand.

"I would surely hope not. You know Enid, when she hears a rumor, she writes about it."

That was true. You don't know how she did it, but Enid always knew what was going on in Jericho and at Nevermore. How? No idea. You look up at the pencil that levitates in the air. You had stolen it out of Xavier's bag, mindlessly controlling it as you talked to him about all sorts of things.

"That's true. I'm sure Enid's blog will be full of new gossip in a few days."

"Her mother used to do fencing," Enid mumbles, her mouth full of food. "She killed two kids, not one! She said she didn't keep count, but I don't know if that is true. I feel like she will fit in though."

Ajax looks at her with a horrified look on his face. How does she say that and be so calm about it? He had been face-to-face with the new girl when Enid did a whole tour around the school.

A laugh escapes your lips when you see his expression as you almost spit out your drink. You love how exaggerated the Gorgon is sometimes.

"She also insulted my side of the room! She apparently is allergic to color or something, it's insane. Y/N, does my room look like rainbow vomit?"

You look from Xavier to her, hesitating for a moment before shaking your head. Her room is extremely colorful, but you wouldn't bring it as rude as the new girl.

"No, not at all. I find your room very comforting, actually."

Enid lets out a relieved sigh. She knew it!

You stand opposite of Xavier, your blade in your hand as you are dressed in the white fencing suit. Xavier and you always trained together. You both knew each other so well that the moves were quite predictable, but that is also what made it more difficult.

When you hear another pair of footsteps nearing, you look up. A girl, around your height, enters the room. Also dressed in fencing attire, though hers are dyed as dark as a shadow. You take off your cap, looking at her in confusion before averting your gaze to Xavier. He had also taken off his mask as he looks at the new person.

"Coach! She tripped me!"

"It was a clean strike, Rowan," Coach almost sighs. This has been the fourth time he tried to go up against Bianca, but he never made it.

"Maybe practice some more. I'm sure you will get it," she smirks. "Try again next time, Laslow. Seriously, Coach. When am I going to get some real competition?"

Bianca might be the queen of Nevermore, but she is also the queen in fencing. No one can beat her and it is something she is quite proud of. You never hung out with her a lot, but she is always sweet to you.

"Anyone else want to challenge me?"

You were almost up to it as you had never gone against her before, but the newbie beats you to it.

"I do."

Bianca turns around to face the new girl, a surprised yet amused look on her face.

"Oh!" She exclaims. "You must be the psychopath they let in."

"And you must be the self-appointed Queen Bee," the other girl says, her face clear of any emotion.

"No need to start throwing around names," Bianca raises an eyebrow. "Rowan doesn't need anyone to come to his defense. He's not helpless, just lazy."

"Are we doing this or not?"

Two rounds pass between the girls fencing as they both have one point. You elbow Xavier to try and tell him something, but see that his gaze is fixated on the girl in the black suit. You breathe in deeply before just looking back at the fight.

No masks or tips? Is she insane?

Even though Wednesday is the one to propose the idea, Bianca still scratches her first, a bloody mark apparent on the forehead of her opponent. Another day where Bianca is left as the top in the class.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Xavier huffs, his hair still damp. "I uh- I was stuck in the infirmary."

You were annoyed, but now also worried.

"What? Are you alright? You're not hurt, are you?"

"Oh, no! No, you know those gargoyle statues on the roofs? One fell down, almost hitting Wednesday. I pushed her out of the way and then had to bring her to the infirmary. She wasn't even happy with it, she was almost upset about the fact she didn't die."

"What a hero," you joke, a smile on your face as you also feel a pang in your chest.

You don't want to be that person, Xavier is free to spend time with anyone you wish. Maybe it is just your insecurity. But, he is here now. With you.

While Xavier was working on the mural, you just sat with him, handing him a new paintbrush or filling up his paint palette whenever he needed it. When hanging out with him, you never really needed to do something crazy each and every time. You could sit next to him in silence and it would still be considered a good time for you.

"Do you hear that?"

You hum, looking up from your phone. In the distance, you can hear a cello. The source seems to be from Enid's dorm. Or, shared dorm now. Enid couldn't play the cello, so it must be Wednesday.

"Beautiful."

It was time for the Harvest Festival, something you looked forward to for a while. There would be games, food, and music, and you would be spending it with some of your friends.

The field was already filled with groups of people excited for a night of fun. Jericho wasn't necessarily the place to be when it comes to entertainment, so the Harvest Festival was one of the biggest things every year. You walked in with Enid, Wednesday, Xavier, and Ajax as Weems walked right behind you. The lady was intimidating, but you knew that she wasn't there for you.

The principal had sat down on a bench, keeping a close eye on Wednesday as you walked a bit further with your own group.

"Where did Wednesday go?"

Xavier looks around, but the pig-tailed girl is nowhere to be seen. You shrug, the girl seems to be very quiet, so you didn't hear her sneak off either.

"I'll be right back, I will look for her real quick."

Before anyone can reply, Xavier walks off, trying to find the new girl. You look at Enid for a moment before shrugging yet again, continuing on with your adventure at the festival. You could try out some new food maybe, though the hotdogs were always good as well. After spending tons of money on food and drinks, you sat down at a picnic table, Kent and Yoko joining the group as well. After a few minutes, Xavier comes back, sitting down next to you with a huff. You push your popcorn a bit closer to you as he mutters a 'thank you' before stuffing some in his mouth.

"What got you so upset?" Ajax looks at his best friend, sauce stuck on the corners of his mouth.

"Just some normie," Xavier responds shortly, sipping your milkshake before placing it back in front of you.

"If anyone needs to be thrown against a wall, you know who to call," you just grin.

Telekinesis is, in your opinion, one of the most useful powers that you can have. Be it something big like moving a car, to something small like turning off a light when you are just getting comfortable in your bed.

Xavier just stays quiet which makes you stop talking about the subject. Whatever it was, it must have really annoyed or hurt him.

"Xav?" You knock on the wooden door. "Xavier, are you okay?"

You had just heard about Rowan being expelled from Nevermore, though the reason was unknown. Not even Enid knew why the boy got kicked out.

After some shuffling, the door opens. Dressed in a red shirt and grey sweats he awkwardly looks at you.

"You uh- You can come in. There is no one else here anyway," he mumbles, a slight smile on his face.

When he turns around to walk to his bed, you notice some bruises on his arms.

"You okay?"

He only nods before laying down on his bed, patting the place next to him. With a smile you sit down as well, running your fingers over the blue-ish patches on his skin.

"Rowan went a bit crazy," he only whispers. "No need to worry. Movie?"

When you get into your Botany class, you see that your usual seat is already taken. Wednesday sits next to your best friend, sitting on the chair that almost had your name written on it. You breathe in deeply before walking to the back of the class, taking your place next to Bianca.

"What is going on between you two?"

"Nothing," you whisper back. "Xavier is just friendly."

"I doubt Wednesday is impressed by your tricks, mister Thorpe."

You look over at his desk as you see a big spider crawling out of his page, stopping in front of the girl.

"Admit it," he smirks. "You're a little impressed."

One smack was all it took to change the spider into dust, making it disappear into thin air.

"Xavier, sit still!"

The two of you are laughing as you almost sit on his lap, a brush in your right hand and face paint in your left. He insisted that he wouldn't be able to do the makeup for the Poe Cup himself and that you had to help him. You were almost finished, but Xavier got impatient as he moved around.

"Ta-da!"

You push him in front of the mirror before throwing his hat at him. When he puts it on he does some silly faces. The dark makeup around his eyes does really make the blue-green pop. Xavier catches you staring at him as you seem almost mesmerized by his look. He turns around with a smirk, looking down at you before charging at you, making you let out a scream before trying to escape his hands.

"Xavier! Come on, we have to get to our boats!"

You follow Ajax and Xavier outside, meeting up with the rest of the people that were excited about the Poe Cup. Four teams that will compete against each other, though you wouldn't be surprised if Bianca's team won again. Putting Sirens on water? There is simply no other way.

Every boat is painted inspired by an Edgar Allen Poe story, and they all looked amazing.

"Good luck," you whisper to Xavier before he gets into the boat.

"Oh, we will win," he winks before jumping onto his seat and pulling his jester hat down.

The boats take off after the gunshot, some faster than others. You wonder what type of sabotage this year would bring. After only a minute, the first boat crashes already.

All the boats are out of sight as you patiently wait. What is strange to you is that Wednesday participates. Enid even made Wednesday wear cat ears- though you are sure she absolutely despises them. Something about Yoko accidentally eating garlic and the pig-tailed girl taking her place.

From afar you can see a red, black, and yellow boat getting closer and closer to the shore, though the Jokers seem to be slowing down and even- sinking? Oh god, Xavier is not going to like this.

It almost seemed like Bianca would win again, but that is until the spikes go through the side of their boat, ripping holes into it as it slowly fills up with water.

The Black Cats had won, making Enid scream with happiness as she jumps up and down with the Cup in her hands. Oh, you will never hear the end of this. Ajax and Xavier are sitting at a table, both sulking while staring down at the piece of cake that they had gotten. They were so upset with their loss, that they couldn't even take a bite of it.

"You guys did amazing, I am sure that you will win the next cup!"

Xavier only huffs, pushing the cake around with the fork.

Both Xavier and Ajax are extremely competitive, so they took the loss extremely personally. But, you believe in them. You always do.

When Xavier had told you that Wednesday found his private art studio and asked him to the Rave'n, your heart broke a little. Somewhere in your mind, you had hope. Hope that he would ask you to the dance. But he seemed so happy. So happy that the girl that he admired asked him to the dance.

Since then, he barely talked to you. No more movie nights, the seat next to him was always taken by the deadpanned girl, and even during lunch, he would barely say anything. Texts would be left on seen and calls would be ignored.

The news of Xavier basically being dumped for the Rave'n should upset you. And in a way, it does. You knew that he admired Addams, but if she hadn't blown Xavier off, you wouldn't be here right now.

"She just totally messed it up. Sneaked into my studio just to accuse me of the most outrageous shit," Xavier scoffs, his hands running through his hair, almost pulling it out of his scalp.

"Hey," you lean closer to him, taking hold of his hands. "We can go to the Rave'n if you want? At least neither of us will be alone."

Your fingers slowly comb through his hair, taking out some small knots on the way. He only nods, staring down at the floor.

"Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a plan."

Your outfit matches Xaviers perfectly. His suit was nice and crisp, decorated with a small black ribbon around his neck. You added a ribbon around your wrists and neck, almost acting as a necklace with matching bracelets. You hold onto his arm with a bright smile as the two of you walk through the Quad and towards the Rave'n.

"I'm so happy you got that stain out," Xavier laughs. "Remind me to never eat anything with ketchup when I wear something white."

"I tried to! But you insisted on it," you giggle, greeting Thornhill before entering the prom.

The room is decorated with bunches of white flowers, sparkles, lights, and what seems to be ice sculptures. It is truly a sight.

"Punch?"

"Have anything to spike it with?"

You let out a gasp before elbowing Xavier, shaking your head with a laugh.

"No, but we might be able to get something from Ajax later tonight."

Both of you take a cup of punch, smoke coming out of the cups. It looks kind of intimidating, but at least it tastes good.

You had sat down with Devina, Kent and Xavier, though Xavier is more quiet than usual.

"Are you okay?" You mumble, looking up at him. "Is it Wednesday?"

He turns his empty glass in his fingers, letting out a soft sigh. He doesn't want to be upset, but the feeling of being dumped like that still hurts him in a way.

"Yeah," a smile makes its way on his face. "I'm sorry. I do really like being here with you."

Your cheeks feel warm and your heart feels like it will explode, so you take his hand, softly squeezing it before nodding.

"If you want to leave, you can always tell me."

"Yo!" Ajax hurries over before he taps Xavier on his shoulder. "Check that out!"

Everyone looks over to where he is pointing at. Wednesday Addams. Her gown is black instead of the usual white and she is accompanied by some Normie. Huh, you would never have guessed that that was what she was into.

"Wednesday totally busted out of her cocoon."

It's true. The girl does really pull off the look, even though you never expected her to enjoy the Rave'n. But, to be totally fair, her face looks almost disgusted as she takes in the decorations. Your eyes fall on Xavier, who is back to having barely any emotion on his face as his eyes are just fixated on the Addams girl.

Without any warning, Xavier stands up, walking towards Wednesday as she pours some punch into two glasses. You try and ask him what he is doing, but decide to hold your tongue.

You were so excited that he finally talked to you again after ignoring you for Wednesday. He finally returned to his old self, but the second the darkly dressed girl stepped into the room, it is like you didn't exist anymore. Wednesday herself never did you any wrong, and that is why it makes you mad at yourself. How can you be so annoyed with a girl that has nothing done wrong?

You just wish you were her. You wish you could pull off her hairstyle, be deadpanned, and be intimidating while also being beautiful. But most of all, you wanted the attention that she got from Xavier.

"You okay?" Kent whispers, looking at you with his eyebrows creased.

He spent a lot of time with you while you were being ignored by your best friend, so he kind of knew what was going on. You only nod, averting your gaze down to your empty cup. Did you not mean anything to him? Come on, Y/N. Stop exaggerating, he can have other friends.

When you look back up you see that he is still talking to an uninterested Wednesday.

"I'll be right back," you mumble, picking up the hem of your dress before going through the exit.

The music here is quieter and the lights are dimmed. Even though you can hear the talking and dancing in the room right next to you, you still feel alone. Are you a bad friend for wanting Xavier's attention? Are you being too jealous? Or maybe you are just being too insecure.

You plop down on the couch, letting out a sigh as you stare at your shoes. Your heart wishes that this evening would have gone differently. You could go out and have fun with the rest, yet you sit here, sulking.

It doesn't take long to hear another pair of footsteps.

"Whoever invented high heels clearly had a side hustle as a torturer."

You look to the side, seeing Wednesday pull on her heels. You let out a chuckle, shrugging.

"Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. You know what they say; suffering tests a woman."

"Speaking of suffering," the girl turns around, looking at you. "Where is your date? I didn't see you and Xavier on the dance floor. But I don't blame you, the music at this dance is appalling."

"We uh- I don't know. He walked off. Haven't seen him since he went up to you."

Wednesday hums, leaning back against the couch as well. If she had to dance one more time, she might start breaking her own legs.

"Wednesday? Can I ask you something?"

"You already are," she states.

You laugh awkwardly before you breathe in. Your hands are shaking, making you feel stupid for asking.

"How... How did you manage to get Xavier's attention?"

She raises an eyebrow, looking at your face. You don't dare to look at her, though. It was already embarrassing for you to ask this question, you don't want to see her judgemental stare.

"If I knew, then I would immediately stop it. He is annoying and only stands in my way," she mutters, rolling her eyes. "Why? You are his best friend, does he not pay attention to you?"

"I wish he did a little more."

A sad smile on your face before you push yourself up, stretching your legs. Wednesday can't help it.

"Well," you nod, looking back at the Rave'n. "You look beautiful today, Wednesday."

As you walk off, you hear her respond.

"Xavier is an incredible idiot for not seeing how disgustingly in love you are."

This evokes a real laugh out of you. It is hard to absolutely hate the girl. But she is right. Then again, maybe you should have said something.

"Yo, yo, yo! Almost eleven o'clockity, so haul it out on the dance floor one last time before the Rave'n says Nevermore!"

Just as you enter, Kent pulls your arm, pulling you onto the floor for the last dance of the evening. You know what? Fuck it. Together with Enid and Kent, you do some weird moves, jumping and swinging your arms to the music.

You don't care anymore. You want to have fun with your friends, and though it would have been more fun with Xavier, you have to accept that he just... Doesn't feel the same.

You look up confused when you feel splatters on your face. Did the sprinklers go off? When you look at Kent, you see that red liquid is dripping down on his face.

"Kent? Are you hurt?"

Before he can answer, the sprinklers turn on fully, coating everything in a layer of red liquid. Is this blood? You look down at your dress and hands which are now stained. What kind of prank is this? People start screaming, trying to hurry out of the room, making you pick up your pace as well. The floor is extremely slippery as you almost fall over multiple times. Where is everyone? Where is Xavier?

As you reach the exit, you see Xavier and Tyler bumping into each other.

"What the hell are you doing, man?!"

"I'm just texting my dad," Tyler looks the guy up and down. "He's on his way. Have- Have you seen Wednesday? I lost her."

"How should I know," Xavier sneers, turning back around to leave already. "She's your date."

"Xavier?"

He looks back at you once before walking off. You pause for a second, frozen in your place before you faintly hear Tyler asking if you're alright.

"I uh- Yeah. Sorry for Xavier."

After you finally washed all the paint out of your hair and off of your skin, you decide that you want to visit Xavier. He was definitely still not doing fine, and though he blew you off, you just had to make sure he was okay. After all, you were still his date today.

Dressed in your pajamas you sneak out of your room and towards the hall that Xavier stays in. He must have showered now as well. You hate to admit it, but even covered in the paint, he was still amazingly pretty.

"Xavier?" You whisper-yell, knocking on the door of his room. "Xav- Can you let me in, please? If Coach sees me here he will kill me."

The door swings open, revealing an annoyed boy hiding behind it. You sneak in quickly as the door closes behind you.

"What?" He asks, biting on his cheeks. He wanted to be alone, yet you are here now.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing," you shrug. "Seeing Tyler after he beat you up can't be too nice."

"I'm doing perfectly fine, thanks."

"Xavier, you and I both know-"

"Stop," he glares down at you. "There is no such thing as you and i."

His tone breaks your heart. What is he talking about?

"How would you feel if the person you like would show up to the Rave'n with some shit normie? Knowing you are stuck there with someone who isn't her?"

"Xavier! She left you for nothing," you scoff. "I have always been there for you. Always! When you broke up with Bianca, when you had to stay here because your father didn't come to pick you up, I invited you to sit with me during the Visiting Weekend-"

"Oh yeah!" He throws up his arms. "You are such a good person, Y/N."

So... sarcastic. Were you really that bad of a friend?

"And why do you even care that much? You are literally just exaggerating! You have been blowing up my phone for no reason knowing that I was busy!"

"Because I wanted my best friend back! You have been so obsessed with Wednesday-"

"So this is about Wednesday?" He scoffs, crossing his arms. "She has done nothing wrong to you! Never! You are just bitching and being mad because she is better than you. Is all of this literally because I like her? Is that why you're mad? Jealous?"

"What if I am?! What if I just want even an ounce of your attention? Wednesday doesn't even like you!"

"Don't," he leans closer to you, gritting his teeth. "Talk shit about her. Leave."

He points to the door.

"Leave!"

The tears that had piled up in your eyes started rolling down your cheeks. Never did the boy talk to you like this, not once in the few years that you have been befriended.

You walk out the door, not one more word said to him as the door gets thrown shut behind you. If only you could find a way to forget about him. Maybe it would have been better if you never met him at all. You knew that you would never be like Wednesday, but were you not good enough?

What if you tried some type of spell or brainwashing? Surely someone in Nevermore has some type of way to make you forget. Even only a small amount of weed from Ajax would help. What if you make Wednesday torture you until you forget? God, you wish you could just say the word and forget-

A word to forget.

Bianca.

You hurry towards the room belonging to the Siren. She knows how you feel. She must help you. You will do anything for her to help you.

"Bianca!" You knock on her door, breathing in shakily as stray tears fall down your cheeks. "Bianca, please."

The door opens slowly, revealing a confused Bianca. A towel is resting on her shoulders and she is also already dressed in her sleepwear.

"Please," you sniff. "Use your Siren Song. Make me forget Xavier. Please."

#xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe imagine #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe oneshot #wednesday imagine #wednesday one shot #wednesday netflix

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abouttofillhisshoes · 22 days

Text

You said some day we might - M.H x Reader // pt.3

A/N: This one's a bit NSFW (minors please don't interact), also angsty and sad at parts. TW for hard drugs, take care of yourselves! This is loosely based off of my own experience, and I am not trying to glamorize it. Ily my dearest @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff for making sure it isnt shit xx

wc: 4k

part four

Picture a scene: flashing lights all around you, colors blinding as they move through the room, seemingly liquid. Music pounding in your head, almost as if it was trying to force its way into your body. People sweating, dancing up against strangers. You feel alive.

Matty dances next to you, throwing his hands up into the air. You can hear screams as the music changes, now playing Britney Spears’ ‘Toxic’. He wouldn't admit it if you held a gun to his head, but he loves this song. Your hips sway to the beat, and you can feel arms on your waist. It's not Matty. The fuck?

You didn't know this guy, but his hands were grabbing at you roughly like you were supposed to. His grin disgusted you. (Not so) politely shoving him off, you dance toward Matty, tapping his shoulder three separate times. That was code for ‘bathroom, now’. He nods, taking your hand and leading you towards the edge of the crowd. The sea of people thins out as you finally spot the glowing sign for the loo.

“You alright?” He asks as you enter the bathroom. The walls were covered in graffiti, stickers, and the occasional phone number. There wasn't the classic smell of piss and sweat, which is why you liked Sound. It was fairly clean. The sinks were made of metal, and so was everything else. The lights were dim, and the mirrors dirty, lipstick stains adorning the edges. You can hear the faint noise of toilets flushing in the background.

“I'm fine, I s’pose, just that guy was rubbing up against me all weird.” You fix your hair in the mirror, refreshing your eyeliner before passing it to Matty so he could do the same. You had taught him how to do it himself, saving you a load of time and effort whenever you were getting ready together. Tonight's color was red, both of you were wearing the same shade.

The stall door flings open as a girl stumbles out, almost falling before she caught herself on the hand dryer. Fixing her bra strap, she wiped the edges of her mouth clean before reaching into her small blue handbag. Out comes a small baggie with white powder in it. You immediately recognise it. Blow.

While you and Matty smoked copious amounts of weed, neither of you had ever tried anything harder. An exception was the occasional acid trip, and even that was a one off on Ross’ 18th birthday.

Both you and Matty watch her intently as she starts cutting up lines on the edge of the sink, not caring that both your eyes were on her. She takes out a £5 note, rolling it before snorting the line. Her hair is wild as she lifts her head back up, turning to the mirror to fix it.

“D’you fancy some, love? I have plenty for you,” she looks over to Matty, flashing him a smile “and your friend, as well.”

It takes you a split second to realize her statement was directed at you. Matty turns to make eye contact, before doing something you didn't expect.

He nods, taking a step towards the girl. You do the same. ‘If you're going to try it’, you thought, trying to rationalize, ‘who better than with Matty?’

She shakes more of the powder onto the sink, cutting two lines for the both of you, and one more for herself. You notice the card she uses is a school I.D. A high school I.D.

She hands you the rolled up note first, and for some reason, you feel calm. ‘This is fine’ you repeat in your head, before opening your mouth to speak.

“This is blow, yeah?” you ask, looking up at her from your position, which was currently hunched over the sink. It's cold, colder than it was.

“Yeah, clean shit too, don't worry,” she offers a genuine smile, stroking your hair with her long, black nails. You steal a glance at Matty, who was now sitting on the sink next to you, watching closely. You nod, turning back to the line of white powder in front of you

You take a deep breath before snorting the line. It burns as it travels through your nostrils, and you don't feel anything for a second.

And then, it hits you.

It hits you fast. Everything feels amplified, and you barely register as Matty snorts his. You feel good, euphoric even. Matty feels the same way, letting out a shout when he does lift his head from the sink.

The girl was long gone when you exited the bathroom and reentered the crowd. You danced with Matty, the music controlling your movements. Deciding to get a drink, you drag him to the bar. The bartender looks you up and down, before shaking his head. He knew you were on something, but that wasn't a rarity in clubs like Sound. Everyone was on something, so, fuck it! Why couldn't you do the same?

Matty orders for you. A french martini and a glass of Malbec for him. The bartender raised his eyebrows at his drink order. “Who orders wine at a club?” he shouts over the music. Matty rolls his eyes before responding “I do! Why, d’you fancy buying me a drink when you get off?” he winks at him provocatively before taking the drinks from the counter.

He hands you your drink, bringing his hand up to your face, wiping off the smudged makeup underneath your eyes. That's when you realize how hot it was. ‘Fucking hell’ you thought. ‘When did it get so hot? Jesus Christ, it's like I'm in a sauna’.

Matty had downed his glass of wine in two large gulps, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his your wine red jumper. You rake your eyes over his body, a thin layer of sweat shone on his forehead. His eyeliner was somehow still perfect.

He was perfect.

March, 2008 // two months earlier

The mid afternoon sun was beating down onto your skin. The blanket beneath you molding to the ridges of the earth, digging into your back. You were lying in a field, surrounded by daisies and dandelions blowing softly in the breeze, a half-empty packet of crisps on your left. Your arms were sprawled out to the side, with Matty lying peacefully on top of you.

Adam had situated himself on a flimsy fold up chair. He hated sitting on the ground with a burning passion. You had promptly forgiven him for leaving you to fend for yourselves that past weekend, seeing as he promised to pay club covers for a month as an apology. Just you though, seeing as Matty would have abused the ever living hell out of Hann’s wallet if given the chance.

George and Ross were in the lake located a few dozen meters from where you were sitting, having a swim. The weather was uncharacteristically nice given that you were in Great Britain, land of miserable weather, so the five of you had set out for a makeshift picnic at the last minute.

It wasnt aesthetically pleasing by any means, with fag packets litering the dirty old blanket Ross had found in an old closet. Ross’ beer bottles were lined up at the edge of the blanket. You grab a pack, presumably Georges, and light up. Marlboro golds, not your favorite, but they’ll do. Breathing in the smoke, you turn your head to get a better look at Matty, who was draped over you, using your chest as a pillow.

You wore Mattys sunflower shirt, unbuttoned, revealing a black sports bra underneath. He, in turn, wore one of your tops. Specifically, a lavender baby tee with the words ‘dump him’ scrawled across the chest in white glitter. Adam was dressed like a divorced dad, beige linen trousers paired with a Metallica band shirt. You laughed when you saw him, knowing he’d be sweating in under an hour wearing that.

Soft music played in the background, the speaker having been lost underneath the pile of Ross and George's clothes. The air smelled of summer, even if it was only March. You spot the wine bottle in Mattys hand as he tilted his head up, taking a drink. You tap him on the arm, and he hands you the bottle.

White wine? Matty rarely drank white wine. You brushed it off, it was probably just the cheapest thing at the store. Matty loved expensive red wine, but did not have the money to pay for it, always settling for the bottle with the lowest price tag. Your attention is drawn to George screaming incoherent curses at Ross for throwing a rock at him. Absolute knobheads.

“D’you reckon we need sunscreen? I don't wanna age my skin anymore than it already has.” he asked, his fingers lingering on his face. His skin was perfect, not a single blemish tarnishing it. “I dunno, I don't think we need to. It's not that hot.” you answer, looking around you. “It's not looking like we have any anyway” you add.

You could feel Mattys' breath on you, ghosting over your chest. His legs moved, brushing against yours. You were suddenly very aware of the fact he was laying on top of you. It made you feel hot, and not because of the sun.

He rolled on top of you, now straddling your legs. He was clearly drunk, slurring his words. His eyes stared into yours with such an intensity, you would've thought he was trying to read your mind. His face was bare, but the glitter from last night's adventures still stained his face, giving him a slight shine.

A smile crept onto his face as he brushed his hair out of his face. The blonde highlights had slightly grown out by now, and you made a mental note to ask him if he wanted you to do his roots.

“Didnt you want to cut my hair?” He asked, and you recognised that look in his eye. Excitement. He jumps up, crawling to get his bag.

“I brought a pair of scissors, d’you wanna cut it now?” He held up pink kitchen scissors, handing them to you as you moved to a sitting position.

“Are you sure? These are not meant for ha-” “I don't careee, just do it!” he slurred, cutting you off and settling between your crossed legs. He turns and looks at you expectantly, and you sigh in defeat.

You try your best, snipping away at his hair randomly. Cutting layers into his hair, you try to make the strands around his face shorter. He giggles as it tickles his face, brushing it off his skin. The sun made him appear as if he were glowing, painting him in an orange hue. Trying not to cut it too short, you tug at it to get a good idea of the length.

A soft groan escapes Mattys mouth, and he tries to pass it off as a cough, avoiding your gaze. A few minutes later, you tug at it again. A little experiment , if you will. This time, the noise is slightly clearer, and his whole body twitches. He busies himself with the bottle of wine in his hands, inspecting the label.

He admires your work in a little compact mirror you had found in your bag. “So.. do you like it? Or have I completely fucked your hair?” you ask, watching his reflection. Matty grins, slamming the mirror shut.

“I love it! The layers make me look hot, so you did your job right!” He pulled you in for a hug, kissing all over your face: He was obviously drunker than you thought.

You lay back on your elbows, closing your eyes, letting the sun shine onto your skin. This was nice. You felt truly alive.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Skin against skin, soft moans filled the room. You didn't even know who they belonged to. Desire took over your bodies like a foreign force. The room was dark, the only light coming from the streetlamp just outside, illuminating the space.

“Fuck- can I?” hands trailed down your chest, toying with the buttons of your shirt. You nod frantically, smashing his lips back against yours. You find his hair, pulling slightly as he lets out a pathetic whimper. You drink in the noise as if it was the very essence of life, tugging even harder at the curls. Curls. Matty.

“Mmh- ah, fuck-” You can feel him against your thigh. You can feel Matty grinding against you. The thought makes your head spin, and you throw your head back, your hair splayed over the baby blue pillows. Mattys pillows.

“You're so- you’re so beautiful, just let me- i’ll-” he cuts himself off, trailing his lips down your jaw, leaving searing, hot kisses in his wake. His mouth makes contact with your collarbone, biting down. You hiss, your nails digging into his scalp. He groans. Matty

His rough hands rub the tattoo on your hip, you feel his rough calluses. You pull his hair, making him look at you. Your eyes rake over his face, the glitter around his eyes shimmering in the faint light. His hand comes up to push your shirt up, the material bunching up where his mouth had just been. You make eye contact again.

He grins before licking one long stripe along the expanse of your ribcage, letting out an obscene moan as he did. He was putting on a show, for you. The noise goes straight to your core.

His fingers snap the elastic of your black underwear, making you jump. A laugh. Teeth graze your hip bone, tracing the tattoo. You can feel him slipping the lace down your thighs, licking and sucking lower, lower, lower…

You jolt awake suddenly, hot sweat running down your back. You turn to look at the time. 2:53am.

What the fuck was that?

You close your eyes, the dream replaying in your head. Lips, your lips and his. Teeth, kisses down your neck, Matty, Matty, Matty-

You stop yourself, shoving your face into a pillow. This can't be happening. This wasn't real. This was all hallucination and you didn't just have a wet dream involving your best mate.

Letting out a groan, you lay back down facing the wall. You desperately, desperately needed a good lay. If it had come to you having fucking dreams about Matty of all people, you knew it was time to find a guy and just shag him. That would solve your little predicament, you were sure of it.

—------------------------------------------------------------

Admiring yourself in the mirror, you hike the ruched material of your dress up even further. Jewelry covered you from head to toe, complimenting the details of your bag perfectly. Hair done up in curls, you knew you were ready.

You were going out. Alone.

The heel of your shoe clicked nervously against the pavement as you queued, giving the bouncer, James, a nod as he waved you through. “No Matty today?” he questioned, referring to the fact that you were alone.

“Yeah, I'm out alone tonight. Matty is… sick. The flu.” you lie through your teeth, not wanting to disclose the real reason behind your solo-mission. The plan was to find a guy, any guy, and forget about that godforsaken dream.

The music was loud, even louder than usual, and you were stone cold sober. Not good.

Making your way to the bar, you order your usual, a french martini. Tobias, the bartender, handed your drink, and you close out. You didn't want to get hammered tonight.

Your fingers drum along to the beat as you sip your drink, scanning the crowd. There weren't many people dancing, seeing as it was a Sunday night. Most had work in the morning, so going out wasn't an option. He had asked you if you really didn't want anything else, even offering you a drink in the house. You politely decline with a shake of your head, assuring him it was alright.

Suddenly, a tall man appeared in your peripheral vision. You had seen him a few times before, wandering about, flirting with the female waitresses. Blonde hair, blue eyes. The complete opposite of Matty. His arm rested against the bar, and you could see him flexing his muscles. On purpose. Jesus.

He strolled up to you with an air of confidence. Turning to Tobias, he asked him what your drink was. “A french martini,” he answered, looking you up and down “and she's only had one the entire night.” The man laughs, “Well that wont do! Let me buy you a drink sweetheart, on me.”

You nod, turning to face him. A smile makes its way onto your lips. Perfect .

He introduces himself as David. He works an office job down the road, something something marketing. You didn't really listen to him, only laughing when he paused, expecting it

He seemed solid, and he was 19, so not too old. You really didn't want to deal with another Phillip situation. He had bought you three, quite pricey, drinks, and you knew he wanted more.

He eventually asked if you wanted to come back to his place for some wine. You agreed, letting yourself be led out of the club by your wrist. James winked at you knowingly as you left.

He had a silver Toyota, the interior a cream leather. It was a big difference to Hann’s beaten up red Kia, but you weren't complaining. He was nice enough, opening the car door for you.

The inside of his flat reeked of sickly sweet vanilla and cheap cologne. He opened a bottle of wine for the both of you, pouring two glasses. The conversion was mundane, but he was nice enough. You had switched your phone off, not wanting anything to distract you from your mission. He had made a move to sit next to you, his hand trailing up your thigh, inching higher with every word he uttered.

His mouth was against your ear, whispering sweet nothings into it, his other hand finding your chest, pushing you down onto the sofa. You let him move you, twist you as he pleased. It didn't mean anything to you, you just needed to get Matty out of your head. Matty.

His hands were soft, like he moisturized them regularly. You could feel his lips on your chest, leaving bite marks and kisses, but you didn't feel anything. Closing your eyes, you decide to let him do all of the work. You had even worn your only pair of lace underwear, a black number with a little bow on the front of the matching bra. The same pair you had worn in the dream.

You mentally curse yourself, kissing David deeper, harder than you did before. Forget, forget, forget.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------

He wasn't the worst, but at least he tried. You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Laying on his (quite expensive looking) leather couch, you watch him as he gets dressed. He asks you if you need anything, and you answer with a shake of your head. You just wanted to leave.

A phone buzzes, and you quickly realize it's yours. You pick it up, the screen lighting up. 3 missed calls from Matty, and 4 texts from him as well.

// Where r you? I’m at your window.

// Are you well?

// Answer me for fucks sake, dont do this.

// I hope you’ve died or smth, you’re well fucking me off.

You sigh, clicking the call button. It rings for a split second before Matty picks up.

“Now you decide to ring me back? I thought you’d been picked up by a sex trafficker or something. Fuck you, honest,” his voice sounded worried, even tired, if you ignored the nature of his words.

“Sorry mate, I was out.” You answer curtly, trying to keep your voice steady. Your fingers tap against the glass of the coffee table, and you hear Matty inhale sharply.

“Out where? And why did it take me three calls and four messages to get a ring back?” he sounded more aggressive this time, and you could tell he had gotten up from wherever he was sitting. This pissed you off. Why does he have the right to know where you are, it didn’t concern him in the slightest, and he wasn't your father. You told him as much.

“I was out, alright? I'm at David's place right now, and I'll be at yours in an hour, cool?” A moment of silence passes between you two before Matty spits out. “Whos the fuck is David?” The way he said his name made it sound like you had shagged his worst enemy, not some random guy.

“He's just a bloke I met at Sound, I went to his place. D’you want me over or should I fuck off home?” The second option was just a courtesy, you were sure he’d want you over. You hadn’t seen each other since Friday.

“Nah, it's alright, go home.” His voice sounded cold, unfeeling. A shudder made its way up your spine. He didn't sound like himself at all. What the fuck? “I have erm.. work to catch up on. You understand.” No you didnt fucking understand.

You open your mouth to protest, but are rudely interrupted by a faint noise. The dial tone. Matty had hung up on you. Your mouth let out a gasp in disbelief. Fuck him. Fuck him all the way.

You gather your things. While trying to find your shoes, David comes back into the room. You tell him you need to leave, and he tries to kiss you goodbye. It feels wrong.

Deciding to walk barefoot, you do the walk of shame at 1 in the morning. Heels in one hand, your purse in the other, you trudge down the pavement. You feel dirty, like you did something inherently wrong.

Cars whizz by you, and you hear sirens in the background. It's cold, and you can feel goosebumps forming on your skin in the soft breeze. Feeling around for your cigarettes, you come across something small towards the bottom of your purse. You pull it out, your eyes widening at the sight. The lighter. Mattys lighter.

The white letters on the side point and laugh at you. You can hear it. It was even more chipped than it was that night, how did it still work? M.H. Matty.

In a fit of rage you chucked the lighter onto the ground in front of you. It splinters off, the metal top flying off onto the road. A car drives over it. You were angry. Angry at yourself for even going out alone. For going home with fucking David. You were angry at Matty for being angry at you. You didn't even understand why, but the mere fact he had hung up on you made your blood boil.

The lighter was now in pieces beneath your feet. The white letters, illegible. Feeling powerful, you decide to kick the rest of the plastic off onto the road, hoping a giant truck would run it over. You wanted Matty at your feet like this, pathetic and powerless. You needed him like this, to show him he can't just hang up on you like you're nothing.

The mental image of Matty at your feet made warmth spread throughout your body. On his knees, looking up at you with glassy, glitter framed eyes. You wanted to take his beautiful hair and weave it between your fingers, forcing him to look up at you. You wanted to hear the pathetic whimpers escape his mouth, just like they did in your dream.

You feel breathless, staring at the wet pavement where the lighter once was. You keep walking.

#i like this one alot #angst #smut??#smut #the 1975 #matty healy #ross macdonald #adam hann #george daniel #matty the 1975 #drive like i do #matty healy x you #matty healy angst #matty healy smut #fluff?#sort of i guess

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sivyera · 3 months

Text

game 00.1

felix catton x reader (in part 2 oliver quick x reader?? maybe, maybe not??)

warnings: toxic relationship, break up BUT it's not going to be angsty!

a/n: i apologize to all Felix fans so pls don't kill me, haha! i will probably write some fluff with him later, please just enjoy being a bad bitch! :)

༺☆༻

It was like every other party at the school. Nothing new nor unexpected... well that's what you thought.

You were sitting at the table, next to your boyfriend Felix and his friends. Also with his newest friend named Oliver.

Oliver was new around so he was mostly just watching... watching you to be more precise, but you never paid extra attention to it, I mean many people started at you so he was no difference...

Everything was like usual, until Felix decided to speak.

"hey y/n.. i need to tell you something" Felix said as he turned a bit on his chair to look you directly in the eyes. You noticed that he called you by your first name, he usualy calls you baby or beautiful, that was when you realized that your thoughts has come true.

When he noticed that you're quiet he spoke again. "We have to break up... this isn't going to work and it's not you, it's me but I have to think about my future."

He finished his sentence and turn to quickly look at Farleigh with a small, almost unnoticeable... but you noticed.

You raised an eyebrow and then smirked. "Oh thank god you said it, you know I have to think about my future as well and with you; I have no bright future, you're holding me back so you did me a favour." You said calmly without any fast movements while looking directly into his eyes then you turned your head at his friends who were sitting around the table with shock faces, smiled, then stood up and left the table.

Felix just sat there, freezed at his seat with shock in his eyes. Did he heard you right? Was he hallucinating? He looked at Farleigh, who was laughing at his seat. Even tho Farleigh is Felix's cousin, he couldn't help but laugh.

''She's got balls, mate.'' Farleigh laughed. Felix blinked few more times, then he stood up and went after you to the yard. "Wait!" He yelled as he grabbed your wrist and stopped you in your tracks.

Felix's mind was full with thoughts like why did this woman; who was supposed to break down in tears and beg him to stay with her, just walked away like nothing happened? Did you not care at all?

"Wait, why?" You asked him as you turned to look at him. You still had the "bored" look on your face which made Felix frustrated even more. You embarrassed him a lot, it wasn't just something he could throw away like nothing had happened, this was important, his reputation was at stake.

"Because- w-why are you acting like you don't care?" He asked while standing in front of you in disbelief. He couldn't believe that you are not going to fight back, to get him back.

"It's because I don't care?" You said with a slight confusion in your tone like it wasn't obvious to him. You meant what you said, you noticed how Felix changed a bit, you were actually thinking about breaking up with him but he was faster, well faster...

He stood there as if it was all a really bad dream. He was confused, why didn't you beg him or cry or made a scene in front of everybody like he was used to from other girls? He didn't even knew what he wanted; he broke up with you, he wanted it right, so why is he standing here in front of you "begging" for explanation.

His jaw clenches, he wanted to make you cry and yet here you are, stone-faced. "You're being ridiculous." He hisses as he slightly shook his head form side to side, still in disbelief that this is really happening.

"Oh really? What should I do then, cry or beg you for another chance? Telling you how much I love you, how much I need you, how I can't live without you? Nah, no never, I have something that is called self-respect, you moron." You said coldly and bit louder so he can hear you properly and really fall into the reality that you really didn't care at all.

His face twists into a scowl, he has lost control, the anger was rising up inside him, his heart felt like it's going to explode just like his head.

"Tsk, you're just a stupid girl." He retorted at you, but you didn't move a muscle, you were like a stone. You stood in front of him with face that looked like it was made of stone. Beautiful features, you were one of the most beautiful girls this school ever had, but you were also pretty unreachable.

Felix had work so hard to actually get into your life, the "dating" part was the hardest, because you wasn't stupid nor naive like other girls. It was very attractive but in this situation Felix found it frustrating.

"I damaged your male ego, didn't I? Yeah, go cry about it, that's what babies like you do, when they lose control; they throw a tantrum, like you just did." You said while you rolled your eyes.

He blinked few times and froze once again. No one ever said this to him, he wasn't prepared for this! In his head this wasn't a fair game but before he could answer, you were gone.

After few extra seconds he just stood there like a child who's mother just didn't buy him any of his favourite snacks. He cursed under his breath and went back inside to his friends.

He knew this wasn't done, he needed answers and a lot of talking, but for now he decided to went back.

Little did both of you knew that Oliver heard and saw this whole conversation. He was hidden behind one of those tall bushes, watching you two the whole time.

He knew everything. He watched you 24/7, he had your daily routine memorized and the things you love was written in his secret notebook that he had made just for you.

From the start this was Oliver's plan, to get to you. But you were a very closed and private person, he even had problems with stalking you like looking at you from the tree that was near your window and stuff, which made him obsessed even more.

And that's why he started talking to Felix, because he knew that you two were dating... and his plan worked, like always. He now was your friend who was on his way to your room to comfort you after a "hard" breakup with your now ex-boyfriend.

His plan worked perfectly.

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bookofbonbon · 1 year

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Hi there! 😀 Can I request a drabble with Aemond Targaryen with the prompts: "Help me make this right" (R) and "There's nothing in this world, that wpuld stop me from protecting you." (A) Reader is Rhaenyra and Daemon's child (+ she could also be pregnant - that way Aemond would swear to protect them both). Scene: Storm's End after Lucerys leaves but before Aemond hops on Vhagar.

pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Reader.

warnings: Mention of suicide?

word count: 490.

a/n: I rewrote this so many times, I have 4 or 5 different versions of it lol. It also really wasn't supposed to have an angsty ending but uhh... didn't turn out that way.

Rain falls as you stare across the courtyard of Storm’s End at your love, Luke’s words describing what happened inside with Aemond still ringing in your ears.

Never had you thought that you and Aemond would be standing on the opposite ends of a brewing war but, here the two of you were. Battle lines drawn and you were not together.

“So, this is how it shall be?” you call with false confidence across the courtyard.

“It need not to be,” he answers, shaking his head bitterly.

You take a shaky breath, a spark of hope and wilful blindness; your hands clinging to desperation in the hopes of salvaging your relationship with him as you walk forward and take his hands in yours.

“So, help me make this right,” you plead, placing a hand on his cheek. “There need not be a war. I cannot lose you…”

You hesitate, biting down on your bottom lip and contemplating if it was the right time to say what you were about to. But, with a war brewing, you figure there’s never going to be a righttime.

“We can’t lose you,” you place his hand on the very slight swell of your pregnant belly.

Aemond looks at you with love and yearning, all his pent-up emotions coming to the surface since he had last seen you. He had sought you out again after the mayhem he had caused at dinner but, you had already left in the night before he could come to his senses. Something he most bitterly regretted.

“You are with child?” he asks, barely above a whisper, eye falling to your belly. “My child?”

“Yes,” you confirm. “So, please. Come with me. Come to Dragonstone. My mother and father, they will understand…”

You plead, hoping he would change his heart and see sense but, losing hope when he looks at you, incensed.

“I’m a fool,” you hum a short laugh to disguise your hurt, stepping out of his reach.

His gaze softens, mouth opening to protest but, you don’t give him time, simply turning your back on him and making haste for your dragon.

“My love, please,” he chases after you, gently pulling you back towards him.

“I know how it may seem but, know that there is nothing- no one in this world, that would stop me from protecting you-” his eye drops to your pregnant belly. “-from protecting our family.”

Your unshed tears finally fall, heartbreak boiling over. No matter his promises of family, you simply weren’t one. Nothing had changed, nothing would change, and a child had made no difference.

“Then fall on your sword, Aemond for it is only you who hurts me,” you choke through your tears and Aemond’s face crumples.

You were lost to each other and, there could be nothing done about it for at the end of the day, neither him nor you would be willing to betray your families.

All fics are my own work - I have not posted my work anywhere else.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters/places mentioned above.

Do not copy. Do not translate. Do not repost.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen imagine

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acefaun · 4 months

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Can you write a angsty story with a happy ending for Lindir x half elf-half human girl? She and Lindir grew up together and Lindir has feelings for her but his responsibilities came in the way of his feelings. One day a handsome elven lord came to the reader's family to ask her hand in marriage. Lindir saw reader was happy and chose to bury his feelings but little did he knew she felt the same way. They both decided to confess to each other and they get married.

Sorry for requesting such a lengthy story 😅

Lindir~ Longing

Synopsis: Childhood friends, Lindir can’t help but fawn over you for a majority of your lives. But when it comes time for the perfect opportunity to confess his feelings for you, an unexpected marriage proposal gets in the way of your happily ever after.

🍃Masterlist🍃 Female Half-Elf, Half-Human MC!

A/n: ✨Angst!✨ ✨Angst!✨ ✨Aaaaangst!✨ Happy New Year, guys! I was told I had to post something before 2024, so how does 20 minutes before 2024 sound? I was supposed to post it earlier, but yesterday I was crying over angsty pseudo-relationship stuff and today I had a migraine and just woke up an hour ago. ANYWAY, last fic of the year! I also hesitated to breathe, because shortly after I got this request, I got an emotional lashing for touching Rings of Power without permission? And anyway, Lindir’s sensitive, don’t yell at us. 🥺 mAn, Lindir's gonna make me cry again.

–Word Count: 5,443–

The light, melodious sound of an elven maiden’s voice danced around him, drawing his feet to a standstill. From an above balcony, he watched the scene in awe. How was it possible to have hair that reflected the light of the moon, quite nearly making it look as though your hair was made of starlight itself?

Lindir’s heart melted at your beauty. Not a single elf in all of Middle Earth could hold a candle to you. He counted his blessings that your magnificence was created in Rivendell, a progeny of Lord Elrond himself; a beautiful elf you were, regardless of your half-human descendance. He had the pleasure of knowing you your whole life, something only the most fortunate elf could brag about. Still, some good it did him, when he never had the chance to tell you how he truly felt about you…

Maybe… just maybe… tonight could be that night. You were humming a delightful tune, standing on the edge of a platform, admiring the waterfalls that stretched up the side of the mountain; the shimmering silver water serving as a backdrop, complimenting your dress. If there were a better time to speak up, he was sure now was it, when his heart was fluttering and his urge to have you in his arms was strongest.

With his courage secured, he made move to descend the stairs to meet you. If only fortune were on his side. An elf maiden called out, “Lindir, Lord Elrond wishes to speak with you.”

His eyes shifted to the maiden who called him. “I’ll be there in a moment,” Lindir replied, masking how flustered he felt on the inside for missing yet another opportunity—for foolishly believing he could accomplish something so far out of his reach. Still, as he was left once again to his own devices, his helplessly longing gaze returned to you for a brief moment. You had such a bad habit of wrapping him around your finger, even when you’d done nothing at all.

Sighing, he turned on his heel. Tonight would not be the night, he lamented as he left to tend to his duties.

***

The rain was pattering lightly on the window, but yet, the sun still streamed through the clouds, making for an oddly beautiful sight. Rainbows were fairly common thanks to the waterfalls in Rivendell, but the large rainbows that stretched across the sky were another sight to behold.

Eagerly, you made your way down the hall and to the library. Peering inside, your reason for coming all this way wasn't easily found. Tilting your head, you entered, your eyes scanning the space before the quiet shuffling of paper caught your ear. Following the sound, you spotted Lindir hidden between the bookshelves, a book in his slender hands. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and for a brief moment, you debated on your choice of bothering him.

But a soft sigh left his lips, and he left you startled as he addressed you, “Is there something you require, my lady?” He didn't even look up to see you; how could he tell it was you? “Your steps are always soft and easy to recognize,” he said, as though hearing your internal dialogue.

“Well,” you smiled at him, brushing off his quirky way of recognizing you. “I was wondering if you wanted to go on a walk with me?”

This time his head lifted from his book, glancing at you before his gaze flickered to a window. “It's raining out.”

“Haven't you ever wanted to walk in the rain? It's nice and sunny and there's a rainbow outside,” you tried to make it sound as enticing as possible. You didn’t care if it was raining, you just wanted to spend time with him.

As much as he wanted to see you enjoying yourself in the warm rain, he sighed, returning his book to the shelf before grabbing another one to flicker through as he offhandedly answered, “Lord Elrond would not approve if you were to catch cold.” He knew your half-human side was fragile, and he wanted to protect you as best as he could.

“We don't have to tell him,” you pouted. There’s no way he’d reject you so easily. “It'd only be for a few minutes. Please, come with me, Lindir?”

He resisted the urge to groan. Why must you say his name in that manner? You made it so difficult for him to tell you no. Regardless, he didn't have time to be entertaining you, and his heart ached. How many times this month has he had to reject you because he was busy?

For the umpteenth time this month, he declined, “Unfortunately, I have more work from Lord Elrond that needs completing. You are aware that King Thranduil is paying a visit to Rivendell just next week, aren't you? I pray you haven't forgotten.”

“I haven't forgotten,” you swiftly defended yourself despite, indeed, having forgotten the date. The look Lindir shot your way told you of the grave importance of this meeting. This reminder gave you an idea… “Can I help with the preparations?”

“I…” Lindir faltered at your offer, before he sighed again, replying, “That isn't up to me to decide. Though I should say not, with how you'd forgotten the event despite my already having told you earlier this week.”

“Well, then,” you said quite confidently, “I'll just have to ask!”

Though, asking your father only ended up the same way it always ended… with him explaining that you had your own preparations to attend to. You still needed to get a dress for the occasion.

You should have been familiar with not being able to help Lindir, not being able to be around him for more than five minutes, or simply not being able to see him for extended periods. You weren't sure what happened after you both got older… It wasn't like you lived in separate worlds where you never got to see one another. Since when… did he neglect your feelings for his ‘righteous duty’ and ‘responsibilities’? Not that you could blame him… he served your father, Elrond, of all people, and you knew he was a busy elf Lord. You suppose you’d just have to be patient and wait for Lindir to come to you on his own time, when he wasn’t busy, and when he wanted to see you… if he wanted to see you.

***

Lindir felt like he had gone over this list a dozen times, making minor changes each time he set eyes on it. But this was the final look-over and there could be no mistakes. King Thranduil was not one to overlook mistakes, and Lindir would surely suffer an earful if Lord Elrond were to hear but a single complaint from the King of the Woodland Realm. Sighing, he rubbed his forehead. When had things gotten so stressful?

A heavy sigh filled the air, though, to Lindir’s surprise, it wasn’t his own. His eyes flickered around the room, but no one seemed particularly bothered enough to let out such an aggrieved sigh. Peering out of the open window, he found the source of the sigh. You were sitting on a nearby bench, a notebook in hand.

At first, he thought he might have been mistaken about the source, until another sigh left your lips. His heart ached at the thought that you could have been upset over something. But then… why couldn’t you have simply asked someone for help rather than stewing alone in silence?

He was tempted to spare time to go out and console you himself, but again, he was interrupted from his concerns. An elf called for his attention, “Lindir, I’m not sure that this is going to be ready in time for their arrival.”

Lindir’s eyes swiftly shot to the elf at attention. “That’s not sufficient. If any hands can be spared, do so. We’ll not still be setting up when they arrive. We don’t want to look unprepared for their presence. I’ll look into it myself.” Pausing before leaving the room, he thoughtfully added, “If there is a spare moment, can someone check on Lady (Name)? I…” He didn’t want to admit to fretting over you like a worried mother. So, he excused, “I need to ensure she’s prepared for tomorrow.” This time, an aggrieved sigh did leave his lips as he left the room in a hurry.

***

Pattering of feet and clinking of dishes echoed through the halls, the air buzzing with both excitement and apprehension. Oddly, you felt neither of those things. It wasn’t in your interest to impress a friend of your father—if friend was what Thranduil was.

Sighing, you watched the flurry of excitement; elves rushed this way and that to make sure everything was perfect for King Thranduil’s arrival. You understood what all the fuss was about, of course, but everything looked good to your eyes. You didn’t understand what they were fretting over; they’d been at this all morning.

Perhaps you were disinterest in their hard work was because your eyes had been glued to one specific elf since you’d entered the courtyard. Lindir looked to be beyond himself with worry as he tried to make sure everything was set according to plan. At most, they had maybe an hour before everything needed to be finalized. Though, each time you set eyes on Lindir, it seemed like he vanished into thin air the moment something crossed your path, and you lost sight of him.

Your attempts to even speak with him were in vain, as he eluded you each time—though you were sure it wasn’t on purpose. He, as always, had his duties to attend to. You couldn’t blame him when the success or failure of this festival rested on his shoulders. You could only pray in your heart that when the sun had finally set and the music rang through the halls that he would be able to relax and enjoy the festival of starlight. Lindir deserved to enjoy the evening along with the rest of Rivendell and those from the Woodland Realm who accompanied Thranduil. Maybe… Just maybe, then you’d be able to have a moment with him.

Accepting the fact that you were never going to be able to catch Lindir at this rate, you resigned to joining your father and sister, waiting for the arrival of the elves of Mirkwood.

Arwen glanced at you from the corner of her eye before vaguely asking, “Any word?”

You shot her a look that told her to hold her tongue in the presence of your father. “Not a single one, and I’d rather not have a word from you either.”

Elrond looked back at the two of you, his gaze studious as he glanced between you. Slowly, he commented, “Your tongue is rather sharp this evening.” Of course, it was his off-handed way of asking you to open up. You wanted to glare at Arwen for making Elrond take interest in your conversation. The last thing you wanted was for him to stick his nose in your business—your business being your little crush on his seemingly unremarkable advisor.

Luckily, Arwen was there to save you an explanation as she smoothly excused, “She must be feeling the stress of the others. It’s not often we host the King of the Woodland Realm for an occasion such as a festival of starlight.”

“Indeed,” Elrond’s eyes stayed trained on you before he turned his head with a nod. “The King hardly leaves his halls. I feel this will be a festival worth remembering.” And you had to agree with that statement—at least, you hoped so.

Though, as you had expected, it was only a matter of time before Lindir had to join the three of you. Welcoming Thranduil into Rivendell was upon the most important things to be done, and Elrond’s advisor had to be there for courteous purposes.

Lindir, however, paused upon approach, his gaze lingering on you the minute you both locked eyes. His lips had opened as if to say something, but no words came out immediately. He said nothing until he caught the eyes of both your father and sister, to which he shyly complimented, “You're both beautiful, my ladies.” Of course, complimenting you and Arwen was his best move, as opposed to his continued staring.

As he quickly joined Elrond’s side, Arwen shot you a suggestive look in regard to Lindir. Waving her off, you tried not to pay much mind to how close you and Lindir were standing to one another. There was no time for that… If anything, you only had to hope that he would spare you a moment of his time at the festival. But here and now you couldn’t carelessly be sparing glances to Lindir when you were going to be greeting a King.

It was supposed to be an official greeting from one noble to another… However, as soon as the party of elves arrived with King Thranduil, your eyes glittered at seeing another life-long friend of yours at the King’s side. He seemed to get equally excited upon seeing you as well. “(Name)!”

“Legolas!” Now, he wasn't someone you thought you were going to be seeing. Or maybe… he slipped your mind while you were busy placing your attention on the unattainable Lindir…

But the minute Legolas had you in a tight embrace, you forgot about your unrequited love. For the moment, all you wanted to do was catch up with an old friend—even if it disrupted the sophisticated atmosphere of a King entering Rivendell.

***

Lindir would have sagged his shoulders in relief if he weren't trying to maintain a decent image—it didn't matter so much that Lord Elrond praised his good work and gave him permission to enjoy the festival. It was difficult to enjoy himself when… you weren't beside him.

He'd been working hard this whole time with the hopes that tonight might have been the night he told you how he felt…

His hard work paid off… only for you to spend a great deal of time hanging off of Prince Legolas’ arm. Lindir supposed he should accept fate as it was: Legolas was a noble, someone who could make you a queen one day. You deserve the best, and Lindir was far from the best.

Taking his failure to heart and not having the spirit to hang around the festival, he took a walk through the lightly illuminated paths of Rivendell. It was a familiar path… One that you and he used to walk together often. Just down the path, he walked, seeking the lonely courtyard that sat hidden behind a beautiful range of waterfalls.

Though, upon turning a corner, he quickly had to backtrack, concealing himself beside the shadow of a pillar. Just ahead, there was a couple that was barely noticeable in the dim lighting.

On the verge of turning around and leaving them in peace, Lindir paused, your voice catching his ears.

It was then that he noticed the pair was none other than you and Legolas. He knew he shouldn't have been intruding on the private moment, but he couldn't bring himself to turn away, especially with what he overheard Legolas saying, “You know… I have to agree. For as long as we’ve known each other, we’re compatible. I wouldn’t want you to think I’m asking for your hand in marriage insincerely. Still, I value your opinion and your desires above all else. Would you at least consider…?”

“Legolas…” You whispered his name. Lindir could only watch silently as you wrapped your arms around Legolas’ neck and that… that’s what told Lindir this dance was over… It was time for him to let go of his loss. He could only stare for another heart-wrenching moment as the two of you embraced, sharing hushed words as if you were already a married couple.

Turning once again, Lindir made a swift retreat. This entire event made sense now. The reason Lord Elrond placed much of his time and effort into making sure it was impeccably arranged… was because it was to be the night of your engagement. Lord Elrond must have previously come to this agreement with King Thranduil, meaning that you couldn’t refuse, even if you wanted to. Though, logically, Lindir knew you wouldn’t reject Prince Legolas.

Lindir walked down the path, making his way back to the lively festival. This path that was so familiar to him suddenly turned into something that made his heart ache. Fond memories of you that swirled around in his head were like shards of glass made to pierce his heart.

But… he only had himself to blame. If he hadn’t neglected you all this time, then perhaps… perhaps you would have looked at him.

No. He had no chance. Legolas had always been more deserving of your affection, however sparse the woodland prince was in your life. At least the young prince could eagerly sweep you off of your feet, unlike Lindir, who only seemed capable of disappointing you as of late.

Besides, your marriage would only strengthen the bond between Mirkwood and Rivendell, undoubtably. There were only good things that could come from this union. There were a million ways Lindir could justify how right it was for you to be with Legolas, but none of it seemed to stop the agony that assailed his heart.

Lord Elrond was correct… This festival was, indeed, an unforgettable one…

Inhaling softly, Lindir came to a decision. This was fine—all of it. There was nothing more for him to do regarding your well-being now that you were in Legolas’ capable hands. Lindir would just begin preparing for the aftermath of the festival. At the very lease, he still had a job to complete, and he couldn’t disappoint Lord Elrond because he was heart sick, of all things.

***

Fortunately for you… Legolas happened to be very understanding of your position when you explained to him why you couldn’t agree to this arranged marriage. In a marriage, as the two of you came to coincide, there was love to be expected—and not forced love either.

Now, it wasn’t that the two of you were unable to love each other; you were sure you would get along just fine if it really came down to the two of you getting married. However, Legolas understood completely that you were simply in love with someone else. Your heart raced for another who was not Legolas, and so long as it was in his power, he was going to help you express these repressed feelings.

Coming to such an agreement, Legolas wasted no time in helping you search for your missing love: Lindir.

With no luck between the two of you, though you were loath to address your all-knowing sibling, you knew she would possibly be able to help. Considering she had been present at the festival all night, you were sure she was the perfect person to go to in regard to finding Lindir.

Luckily, you made just the right call. “Then you’ve finally come to terms with your feelings…” Arwen displayed a soft smile, agreeing to help. However, she didn’t seem to need your help for this part, as she ushered, “Stay, enjoy the festival. Grab a drink with Legolas.” She gestured for you to return to your waiting friend. “I’ll return shortly with all the answers you hope to find.”

“Arwen…” You almost deflated in front of her, quite nearly put-off with how she was ushering you back to Legolas. But… you knew she was being genuine, and you couldn’t help but smile slightly in return as Arwen walked off, leaving you alone once again. “Thank you.”

Your sister simply smiled in return to your earnest response before leaving you alone once again.

Only, when you returned to the festival per Arwen’s previous ushering, you failed to find Legolas. It wasn’t odd that you couldn’t find him in such a crowded scene, but even the nearby elves couldn’t give you answers as to where your friend disappeared to.

In any case, you were sure Arwen would be quick in her task, and Legolas was probably still off on his noble search for Lindir. At this rate, you felt like everyone was searching for Lindir but you… And while Arwen told you to remain at the festival and enjoy yourself, that was turning out to be a rather difficult and tedious task.

Besides, now that you were alone with your scrambled thoughts, you were feeling the pressure of reality. Arwen and Legolas were searching for Lindir for you… so you could convey your deepest feelings for him. You were sure he would refuse your feelings, simply because he already owed you that loyalty as a servant of Rivendell. Not to mention, he wasn’t the sort to conceal his true feelings very well; to put it simply, he was horrible at it.

The one time dwarves were in Rivendell, he had enough trouble hiding his disdain for them. You were sure this would be no different. He always had to tolerate you because you were Elrond’s daughter. Who was to say he wouldn’t consider it entirely unprofessional? There were a ton of excuses you could think up as to why Lindir might reject you.

All you could do was wait for the time to come. And so you waited quietly by a fountain, brushing your fingers across the silver surface, reflecting the light of the stars above.

***

Lindir’s heart was racing uncomfortably. He was informed by Arwen that you were in trouble and needed his help immediately. Despite not being able to answer why she couldn’t be of any help to you—why did it have to be him?—Lindir was quick to rush down the familiar walk ways to return to the festival.

He wasn’t sure what the issue was that required his attention so direly, but he understood upon seeing you alone… so melancholic—you were like an angel of starlight in his eyes once again, your beauty unfailing.

For a brief moment, he wondered where Legolas was… only to have the thought that perhaps things had not worked out as the two of you had hoped. Now, his heart did not ache because of you… but for you.

Quietly, he weaved his way through the festive elves, coming up beside you. You still hadn’t acknowledged him, so, he quietly addressed you, “My Lady… What brings you such sorrow on such a joyous evening?”

“Lindir…” Your eyes were quick to flicker to him, and for a moment, your sorrows were all but forgotten. Being in his presence was enough to make you forget yourself. All seemed well in your world until it came time for you to answer his question. This time… you had to be honest. Though, your words were shaky and unsure. “I- I only…”

Lindir was unused to you being so demure and bothered. You were usually more certain of yourself and intent on bothering him at the worst of times. This wasn’t like you.

For the second time since finding you, he wondered if he truly was the right person to be beside you, solving your still-unspoken problem. Was this not supposed to be the job of your betrothed? He let out a soft breath. “I… do not mean to pry. But does this have to do with Legolas? You’ve been with him all evening, up until now.” He tilted his head as if teasing you to try to lighten the mood. “Has my lady gotten lost in her own home?”

You couldn’t help but let out an amused huff—he had at least succeeded in making you smile somewhat. “It wasn’t that I lost Legolas,” you admitted, your cheeks burning as you dared yourself to continue your sentence, “I lost you, Lindir.”

Lindir was surprised to hear you say that. His eyes were wide before he dared to ask, “Were you searching for me, my Lady…?” He was hesitant to join you as you gestured for him to sit beside you on the fountain’s edge, but he couldn’t say no to you when you so clearly wanted this.

“I searched everywhere… but it was like you vanished entirely. I feel like that’s been happening more as of late.” Though your cheeks revealed how flustered you were, your eyes shone with despair. Lindir wanted nothing more than to rid you of any ailments, so that he could only see that joyous glimmer in your eyes. But… was it his fault you were in this state? He didn’t have an answer until you continued, “Each time you disappear from sight, my chest feels heavy, and I get terrified that I’ll never see you again.”

“I’m here,” he said reassuringly, though, he wasn’t entirely sure what to say to the betrothed of a prince. There were only so many ways he could comfort you and hope to remain on Legolas’ good side. Still, this was starting to sound more like a personal jab. Had he truly been so neglectful? “(Name)...” For once, he dropped the honorifics, and you felt your heart skip as his hand gently laid on top of yours. “I’m here now. Tell me, what’s on your mind?”

He was gazing at you earnestly. He genuinely wanted to know what was bothering you and if it was within his ability to fix. But he was surprised when you uncharacteristically, and very bluntly, asked, “Why are you always too busy for me?”

The question took him off guard. There was a completely logical answer to the question, though… if he was being honest, he was too flustered to admit it outright. Hesitantly, however, he did tell you the truth, “I have kept myself busy and have done my work diligently, all with the hopes that I would have personal time to spend with you.” He averted his gaze, having more to add, but certain it was an inappropriate time to mention it. Still, your eyes implored him to speak more of his secrets, and he loathed your prying gaze. “I had hoped to have done a well enough job that I would have free time to spend with you at this festival.”

And just like that, he admitted his failed plan of the night; he genuinely did want to spend time with you. While he expected his explanation to be one-sided, you were astonishingly quick at admitting a secret of your own, “I wanted to spend time with you too, Lindir, but you were always so busy for my father. Even before this festival,” you thought to add that last part. “I like you, Lindir, and I’m so…” You trailed off, struggling to find a word to describe your feelings—something Lindir always thought was endearing about you. “I’m so miffed with you!”

“I understand,” he replied slowly, albeit surprised. He couldn’t hide the hesitation in his tone—he was confused. More than confused, his heart was in more pain than ever. “My Lady—” Yet again, he was putting emotional distance between the two of you. “—what of Prince Legolas? The covenant is already arranged; there is no getting out of it.”

“Well,” you spoke coyly, telling Lindir that you knew more than he did. “Legolas and I were talking about that earlier. He was the one who wanted to help me find you in the first place because… well… he agrees with me that we simply weren’t ready for marriage in the first place.”

Lindir hated that you were suddenly being so straightforward with him. Well, he hated it just about as much as he loved it. He could hardly hide his pink cheeks as he made a quick excuse, “(Name), think of the thought that must have gone into this by your father and King Thranduil. It’s not often King Thranduil leaves his kingdom, which means this night was of great importance. I can think of no other reason than that this night was clearly strictly for you and Prince Legolas. This is no time for-”

“I don’t think any of their opinions matter as far as loving someone else is concerned,” you suddenly interrupted him, causing a thick silence to fill the air.

Lindir was left flustered by your bold statement, and couldn’t muster a single thought other than that… you loved him. You said it. It was the first time he heard you say it, though it was ever so slightly indirect, he knew it was directed at him. Still, he wouldn’t jump to conclusions, though he knew all fingers were pointed at one solid conclusion that he’d been ignoring. He patiently asked, “Is this what’s been bothering you today?”

“It’s been bothering me,” you pouted, making him avert his gaze in guilt. You didn’t seem like you were letting him off easy tonight as you accused, “You’ve been ignoring me.”

“I apologize for that…” He paused after his reluctant apology. He knew he was in the wrong, but there was still a lot to be discussed. There were so many unspoken feelings, and so many obstacles that came as a result of these feelings if they were to be addressed appropriately. After a guilt filled moment, he finally spoke again, “Are you certain this is how you feel?”

You unwaveringly nodded, dissuading his doubts with a firm “Yes.”

“Then…” Lindir sighed, finally giving into his overwhelming feelings. “I should admit, in return, that I love you as well.” For once, he shared everything with you, knowing you deserved to know the truth behind his seemingly cruel actions. “The reason for my neglect would partially be because of my duties, but also because you deserve someone better. I… may have been… jealous… over Legolas proposing to you with his arranged marriage, but in the end, I had the thought that you would be better off with a prince.”

You nodded, seemingly understanding what he was saying. He felt relieved that you didn’t think he was intentionally trying to hurt you. “The only thing…” you started softly, “is that I don’t love Legolas like that—not when you have my heart.”

“That…” Lindir faltered, an uncharacteristic move for him. For once, he was speechless. “That wasn’t how this was supposed to go.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Huh?”

He huffed in frustration, venting, “I was supposed to admit my feelings to you first… but Legolas showed up…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Regardless, I suppose now isn’t the time for that. Now, let me tell you the truth.” Feeling brave for once, he leaned closer to you. His hand was still resting on yours on the cool stone bench surrounding the fountain. His tone was soft as he whispered, “(Name), I love you.”

He adored the way your eyes lit up at such a simple phrase. It made his heart flutter to be telling you at long last. The smile that graced your features was one he’d remember for a long time as you whispered back, “I love you too, Lindir.”

There would be a time when you would both need to address this with others… namely your father… but for the time being, all that mattered was the two of you. There were many affectionate and tender moments that needed to be made up for, after all, and you had many hours under the glistening stars to do so.

#the hobbit #the lord of the rings #lord of the rings #the hobbit fanfic #lord of the rings fanfic #the hobbit lindir #lindir x reader #the hobbit legolas

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warriorstale001 · 1 year

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Greetings!!! So... A thought... you know the OSD Stone Sleep au...

OSDiff Stone Sleep.

Dream in a weakened state in an au seeped in negitivity last time that happened he turned to stone. And this time... well he might not fight it. He can feel it and just lets it happen he's sick, scared and in pain... maybe being a statue isn't so bad after all.

Someone coming in to check on him. One of the boys for guard duty or Nightmare himself only to find Dream laying there nothing more then a statue... he looks... peaceful...

Well uh... Congratulations on finding what must be the one of the most depressing endings that OSDiff could possibly have... Because wow that is a sad idea you have come up with, my friend.

Of course I am very aware of the OSD Stone!Sleep AU by @calcium-cat but an OSDiff version?!

Where to begin...

First off... THE FACT DREAM JUST LETS IT HAPPEN??? Like WHOA that is so angsty and so dang sad... The idea Dream has just completely given up after what Nightmare has done so decides he's better off as a stone statue... YIKES!!! I will say tho that while OSDiff Dream is in a pretty poor state right now in the fanfic, I don't believe he has quite gotten to THIS level of despondence... He has some hope still (believe it or not) it's just buried underneath all the pain of what Nightmare just put him through. But for the sake of this AU, yes I am willing to accept that Dream is at the absolute lowest point he can go and thus decides he's better off as a statue.... The poor thing :/.

I still can't decide whether I'd prefer if its one of the boys who discovers Dream's statue or Nightmare himself. Because the boys discovering it first could lead to a scene where Nightmare is contemplating his actions from the Prologue in his office (think start of Chapter 1) and instead of Cross telling Nightmare he's sick, Dream is already a statue and Nightmare can do nothing but rush down to the dungeon to see for himself. So many emotions go through Nightmare's mind as he sees his statue there, confusion at first, denial and of course anger. This wasn't supposed to happen like this. He wasn't finished with Dream yet! He was still meant to be suffering, but instead he had chosen to turn back into a statue to avoid his wrath?! No... That wasn't fair to him! He had been planning this for so long, yet Dream had to go and ruin it just like that?! How could he do that to him?! Why did nothing ever work out the way he intended it too?! Now he'll never get his revenge on Dream... He'll never find peace or happiness. He stares at the statue for a while, lost in his own spiralling thoughts before he finally moves it to one of his tower rooms, locking the door behind him.

The most important thing to remember about this particular OSDiff Nightmare (and probably one of his most tragic traits) is that in this timeline, Dream's sudden change into a statue doesn't allow him to go through the character growth he would have gone through in the normal OSDiff timeline, meaning he is not yet at the point where he would want to mourn Dream or regret his actions despite what's happened. There is no connection, bonding or talking between brothers in this timeline, which leads this Nightmare to shove Dream to an almost untouched section of the hideout where Nightmare can simply attempt to forget about him. He's buried but still there, shoved to a section of the castle, just like the grief and loss shoved to the corner of his mind. Dream turning to stone is definitely a tragic aspect of this AU, but I also find Nightmare's lack of character growth and the fact he's never able to regret his actions just as tragic. He'd be lucky to ever feel true happiness again after Dream turns to stone in that timeline...

I swear I have so many ideas for this AU, especially because it has so much potential, but I just have no time to write them ugh :'(. If any of you wanna write your take on this scenario, though please feel free I would absolutely love to see that.

#ask #ask box #just-a-fangirl-in-fandom-world #osdiff #fanfic #dream sans #writing #one small difference #nightmare sans #stone sleep AU #Oof this is such a sad idea #so much potential #love it love it love it #have a wonderful day #thanks for the ask!

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speremint · 9 months

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Good Omens S2 Thoughts

OBVIOUSLY spoilers for GO S2 below, so if you've not seen, and don't wanna be spoiled, don't read!

The tl;dr of this long post is that I loved S2, it was a lot of fun, and I love that it focused more on Az and Crowley, but I also think it was a little out of pocket and a little messy in writing.

Anyway I fuckin.. am still processing all of what I watched, and am currently rewatching with a friend, too, but here's my jumbled thoughts on S2 and especially the final episode because I'm having many emotions and I need to get my thoughts out somewhere.

Listen. I would like to clarify that I loved S2 and I loved S1, and I think S2 was VERY smart to parse down on supporting characters and keep it stuck to Crowley and Aziraphale for the most part.

I'm assuming that S2 was made with S3 in mind though, esp after this post from Neil Gaiman, bc lord I will cry if there's no S3.

The focus on the story of Job I am being super optimistic in hoping that maybe it's Gaiman punching us in the throat with S2 before offering us a nicer S3... regardless though, I loved the season despite my minor criticisms.

I... do not have anything against Beelzebub/Gabriel, but holy shit was that out of left field for the ending... I just feel that, despite Gabriel having memory loss (it doesn't seem to be COMPLETE since it was kinda touch and go during scenes), they should've sprinkled in some sort of foreshadowing the his relationship or fondness of Beelzebub.

Have him at least not try to decimate that fuckin fly with books, or take an interest in books on forbidden romance, or rebellion against authority, or maybe just flat out have him be interested in Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, or Nina and Maggie's. Just SOMETHING to set it up a little bit...

EDIT:: while rewatching, I suppose they hinged most of their foreshadowing in Beelzebub's passiveness and interest in Gabriel, but it's a little hard to have a comparison given how little they were in S1

It was only after I skimmed the GO tag that I saw people were pissed about Aziraphale's choice in E6 and I'm kinda just like ??? It's not OOC though... He's always been loyal to Heaven, and the times when he's been questioning, the biggest issue, is that Crowley was an enabler. He kept Aziraphale from REALLY facing the consequences of these decisions because he's acted as a safety net in some of the situations they're put in.

I love the added scenes of the past with Crowley and Aziraphale, they're fuckin great and I like that it continues to expand upon their relationship and "temptations", but I do think it was kinda reiterating stuff we knew from S1... even if it was good fan service, for lack of a better word. I just kinda wish they had sprinkled in more reinforcements of Aziraphale's fealty to heaven. Or, perhaps during the scene when Azira is worried he's going to become a demon, he could take that time to ask Crowley on his feelings on being a demon, and perhaps if he regrets it, just to also set up for the finale desire of Aziraphale in turning Crowley back into an angel.

Regardless though, S3, assuming there is one, will be a big wake up call to Aziraphale when he's left on his own and also under a tighter leash by heaven, especially since Crowley is gone. Also, expanding on Crowley being a high rank when he was an angel made my fuckin night, I still stick to the headcanon that he was the Archangel Raphael, don't @ me

I do think that... some of the stuff that happened in S3 did feel a little like a response to fans as well, since I know Gaiman is on tumblr and Ik the fandom has been really vitriolic over the fact that Az and Crowley didn't kiss or anything in S1... tbh I didn't think it was that big of a deal cause love is shown in many different ways, and I admit I do like that they kissed in S2, but it did also feel uhhh kinda spontaneous.

Not a bad thing, just wasn't expecting it. I did replay the scene bc I'm an angsty bitch. But yeah, I'm like ehhh.

Also Nina and Maggie randomly coming at the end to like.. sit Crowley down and be like "erm youre stupid and in love" felt very weird in a way I can't quite describe, but also felt kinda undeserved. Esp cause Crowley was like "eh I guess". I think the more subtle off handed chat he had with Nina about Aziraphale being his partner was a more elegant way of setting that up, and having him reflect on that instead would've been better. But also tbf he and Azira were being bitches and indeed messing with Maggie and Nina.

I don't like the term of describing content as "fanfic"y because a lot of fanfiction is super well written, but I think S2 was very... fan service-y... rather.

Which tbh I don't mind that much, esp given Gaiman really didn't want an S2 to respect Pratchett's passing as his cowriter. So... meh. I did genuinely dislike the ball scene at the end though. Just... it was really weird, and I'm not sure what they were trying to say with it, other than Aziraphale is fucking demented... and tbh he should've known better since the fucker's been on earth for ages, idk. After talkin with a friend, it just was a really weird scene, and if anything was OOC for him, I think it was that bc his removal of free will, speech, and even actions, was fucking insane.

Also I don't think John Hamm is attractive, so I tbh was just confused for a lot of his scenes that had interactions or alluded to him...

I liked S2, I really did. It was campy, it was a lil sloppy, but it was fun, and it gave a lot more Crowley and Aziraphale being a bitchy little married couple before their fuckin messy ass divorce at the end.

ANYWAY... I really can't wait to see what happens, and I am PRAYING that there'll be an S3. Until then, I will happily sit in my puddle of tears

#this is word vomit im sorry #good omens s2 #good omens s2 spoilers #personal #i prob will draw go again ngl i am cry

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oceanlipgloss · 3 months

Text

26.1.2024

—nsfw + chapter 5 spoilers

Valefor's H-scene it is! The CG in the update announcement looked preeetty promising, so let's see what lies behind the door it

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

intro:...no

update I: *inhales* right...here's the deal. He's very happy and turned on that she's comparing him to Mammon, but I'll be honest and say that I don't like what she's saying or how she's going about this at all. He likes it, but that doesn't make her approach okay—to compare two individuals in a manner that makes it seem as though one of them is a copy of the other (and in turn isn't being recognised as their own person). Gusion deserves someone smarter than MC, yo But from an objective point of view, WHB is a lot about logic twisted backwards, so I can sure as hell definitely enjoy and respect how the concept is being maintained because that's how it's supposed to be: adopt a concept, stick to it till the end

update II: I am sorry, Bimet. My condolences. Time to collect some condolence money from you Kinda hot how Valefor just replies with "I know" aka code for "I want this to be risky and I'd like it if I could scrape your nerves" tho go for it, boy

update III: ughhh yes I like how they're in sync

update IV: the language in this H-scene is stronger—more direct and explicit than it was in earlier scenes cock oooo PB, have ur writers been reading fanfics? :D I don't see hot object anywhere I will never let them live that down

update V: not bad, Valefor, not bad at all. I love how he's intent on wringing her nerves lmao

update VI: "shaft" lol they've definitely been reading fanfics I haven't seen this word in forever. Then again, I just write fanfics and barely read any, so...yup, the word is probably still used but I'm not there to see it

update VII: YEAHHH NOW FLAG IT, TUMBLR🖕🏼I'm still salty about how I wasn't able to post Belial's CG in his H-scene reaction post

update VIII: nice move, monsieur

update IX: ...how is he going to cum STAMINA AND PAST H-SCENES SAY THEY COULDN'T

update X: GRAAAAA HOTTT IT'S THE HORN AGAIN AND IT'S TRICKLING DOWN HER HEAD THIS TIME also, PP FINALLY GOT RIGHTS! PP IS 'HOT OBJECT' NO LONGER, REJOICE! But I am once again asking: HOW. DID. HE. CUM? And why wasn't anyone other than him and Bimet able to cum/orgasm? Is it a blessing superpower God bestowed upon Tartaros men only? Is that it? I demand need answers pls

update XI: sort of appreciate the semi-angsty injection at the end "although that would be very rare" that's what he said

update XII: probably fiddling with them nip nops anatomically speaking, referencing some laws of physics

#whb #whb valefor #what in “hell” is bad #what in hell is bad #what in hell is bad diaries

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jell-o101 · 9 months

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Hi!

I just want to say that I’m LOVING the Luigi’s Escape comic! The artwork and animation is adorable, the balance between comedy and angst is amazing, and the writing for the characters and story is SPOT ON. I especially like how you expanded Luigi into having his own arc of being brave and not ashamed of who he is, as well as Lumalee and KP actually having a major part of the story and being their own characters instead of being just one thing and having it define their personality (for example Lumalee is hilariously obsessed with death, but he is still a child as we saw in the recent pages). In addition, just as I thought I knew where the story was going, it takes an unexpected twist. (Like Luigi’s backstory when is in the hospital.)

Overall, very well done! I know it isn’t done, but I this comic is 10/10 and I’m excited for the rest of the comic and how the Mario brothers reunite. Keep up the great work and excited for the next page (and sacred too hahaha 🤣 😰) P.S sorry for long comment

Listen listen, the longer the asks, the better. And thanks for enjoying it! Some of the main plot points are actually taken from some original stories I have yet to animate in the distant future (and i hope anyone who has survived my Luigi phase stays around to see them).

Its funny tho...this originally wasn't going to be an angsty story. It was initially going to be lighthearted humour like the film itself. I guess i sorta lost myself in the story and added my own traumas into it like any other story anyone creates. A for effort I suppose xD. I can't wait to show you all of the deleted scenes at the end of ACT 2. KP was also originally a VERY different character. Lumalee was also going to stay a little pessimistic, but KP being rude and Lumalee being a little menace gabe Luigi no reason to want to stay in the Mushroom Kingdom, so I HAD to change them. Stay tuned!

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beardisable · 11 months

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OH MY GOD OH MY GOD okay.

so i watched the 8 hour jack stream(jesus) aka watched genloss top to bottom again and listened to his theories and stuff(i really vibe with the "kidnapped as kids" angle more now) and started thinking about some theories he and chat mentioned and.

now im thinking with like. ok its probably a pretty common theory, this post was what prompted this additional idea of mine actually, but ill explain it a bit: the theory that, since sneeg and charlie can come back over and over again, and they have referenced like, refusing to do the cooking challenge in ep 1, and how charlie was playing the mouse trap but ate the cage, they have obviously done the same kind of scenes we saw ranboo do, right. and then in the Announcement video we see the same kind of "missing poster" type headshots of them, with the caption "Found them!"

i dont remember exactly where it was confirmed that showfall made the missing person posters, but like. yeah. these images are for missing posters like ranboo had. and with sneeg being caught by the security in ep 3, he had tried to escape, just like ranboo and charlie. and i feel like this wasnt the first or last time they have tried this!

also, during that screenshot the announcer says "our hero will meet a cast of crazy characters, who you may recognize", aka the audience has seen these "actors" before in other things! this is their first live show but what have they made before...?

then, with one of the Very first lines Ranboo says in the first episode, "it wasn't supposed to be like this"... showfall/hetch made it seem like this is ranboos first show and he's being tested for how well he does as The Hero.

I dont think what we saw is Ranboos first time starring in a showfall production.

its the first live thing like the announcement video said but i think hetch lied when he talked about how its a test, i think Ranboo's been here at least a few go arounds, if not tens/hundreds/thousands of times. WHICH MEANS in the end when he gets his memories back... theres an infinite amount of possibility of things they could remember for what they have been made to do in the past :) Bc remember, while this is comedy->horror, it was still relatively tame and non-explicit (at least by my personal standards?) so it is quite possible they have been in more R rated horror stuff, slashers, gore, actual saw, some kind of even worse psychological horror things, but also that they might have had incredibly good experiences like love and joy and community and anything positive too, and to remember all that in a rush... oh boy so i believe it is a circular reproduction, maybe they run through scenes repeatedly over and over while perfecting every little detail and getting different takes of genuine emotion but every time Real and a First experience... some kind of purgatory(omg christian hell reference) or endless torture or such...

ok that got really maybe unneccessarily angsty so heres my other thought:

i love me a fucking colour theory and colour symbolism! it bothered me a bit how like. in the promo game we get ranboo, then green friend/the villain(obviously charlie, tho the villain part still confuses me a Bit since its not quite true?), the blue friend/the taken(obvs sneeg) and then the red stranger/the saviour. and like it would logically follow that the red is hetch right?

jack when theorising said the titles are self descriptive, which i buy into, at least for the first episode context, charlie is the villain role, sneeg was taken(put in a cage and later snatched by the sharkciclester), and hetch was trying to help and save ranboo from this situation! but then in the second ep we also have red puzzler, and red niki? i WISH niki had. any kind of bigger role to build a Saviour type off of her but i dont think she does :( the puzzler is an option, since they make it seem like the puzzler tries to save ranboo? and thats actually a whole other thought like. since we know hetch was not actually helping ranboo, was the puzzler Genuinely helping them, and somehow showfall found out and killed him?? idk ANYWAYS that colour coding falling apart a bit made me think about how ranboo is also red!! rgb trio yknow??

if the titles are self descriptive... well i dont think Ranboo really felt like The Hero much, especcially not in the end...

I think Ranboo is actually meant to be the Saviour.

Esp with the jesus coding! I believe this kind of thing has happened many times before, with sneeg/charlie/ranboo/others realizing that shits fucked, and trying to escape, only to be caught and put back in the production. I think Ranboo(main character syndrome) was in a previous iteration the Saviour, who tried to help sneeg and charlie and others get out of there, to save them, save everyone. but they failed. got captured. once again waking up again with a "it wasn't supposed to be like this..."

and so the cycle continues, and the content wheel keeps spinning.

(ive only been in tumblr tags so feel free to link me any other ppl who arrived at the same conclusion)

#if you actually read to the end of this somehow ily take a cookie #this is giving me prologue/au ideas so i wanted to type it out to anyone who wants inspiration or smth #generation loss #genloss #ranboo #ranboolive #generation loss the social experiments #genloss meta #genloss theory #genloss au #bear.txt #i am bearpat #this post took so long bc i keep having more ideas but adding them all would make this even more incomprehensible i gotta stick to a thesis

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sillyromance · 5 months

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🩹,💗,❗️?

Good day, dear anonymous!

🩹 - healing vore:

I think it's very interesting concept which has a kinda joint base with comfort vore but still stands out of other vore scenarios as a unique thing. There is a mix of two directly opposite actions: sending someone inside your stomach and... healing their wounds with this! Using such unusual combination, artists get an endless amount of angsty and comforting scenarios - and also a great push of their imagination limits: their characters can possess anatomical features no one ever thought of before. As for the action itself, it's just very good for a pred to know that they won't ever feel lost or helpless in case their prey friend get into trouble which can lead to the latter being badly injured. The prey feels safer too when knowing their big pal is around... Sensations are pretty enjoyable as well: the feeling of your ache being instantly eased by the miraculous liquids, combined with a soothing vibe of the cozy stomach massaging you is unspeakably beautiful...

So, I definitely love such way of healing!

💗- the most favourite trope:

Well... I suppose: a gentle pred/ a kind and submissive prey. If there are these two, I will love any scenario from safe to fatal. Although, there is one I love the most:

Safe vore/reformation:

A prey comes home after a really rough day; the pred sees it, however, their little friend doesn't admit it. Instead, they just head to their room and start working again - or go to the kitchen, seeking for something to eat... Meanwhile, they big partner watches them silently for some time. The pred hasn't dined yet. But they know perfectly what they want for a snack right now - so, the big guy grabs the shorter one in a nice, tight embrace, saying the prey they were going to dive right in without any delay. The latter tries to protest at first, but quite soon they submit to the gentle cooing and warmth of the pred's hug: the little one sleepily thanks their partner and, finally, gets swallowed up; settling in the warm belly, they gladly sense their sore body relaxing and their mind clearing as tender walls move around them, the gurgling mixing with the pred's calm breath and heartbeat and creating a comforting symphony of natural peace which helps the prey to doze off. The pred feeling good for their friend and for themselves smiles and rubs their visibly rounded stomach which is lovingly churning over its favourite meal...

❗- discovering vore:

I'd say it has been a long way. I remember when I was four me and my father often played a game: he was a monster and I was its prey who had to avoid being eaten. Of course, everything was just for fun: we messed around a lot, giggling and encouraging each other; he often wrapped himself up in a large blanked to seem bigger and "scarier" and then "attacked" me in the darkness with a "monstrous roar". Usually, everything ended up with him "devouring" me which he always loudly announced while I was still laughing after a great session of tickles. I think, that's how the fun began...

The older I got, the more I felt that something strange was going on with me. I was fascinated with snakes who could swallow their victims whole. Sometimes my grandma asked me to read aloud some fairytales - but if it was Red Riding hood, I couldn't help but lowered my voice as it was coming to the "tense part" because I felt quite uncomfortable about it. Especially, because I saw that exact scene in a way I wasn't able to really understand.

But all I knew was that I liked it. It was just... special.

There were other things too; but it is too much to tell. If shortly, there were thoughts. They came to me periodically; and when they did, I sank in them for an hour or two. Then I was trying to imagine myself as both a pred and a prey - and what it should feel like to be one or another.

Once I decided to search in the Internet for something that could satisfy my needs... And there it was. Vore.

I won't lie if I say that I was scared at first due to my mind, basically, connected vore with cannibalism (the mistake many people make when they come across it for the first time)... I literally suffered after I figured out it was I seeked for. Consequently, I tried to block this part of my nature by completely denying it. But things were getting only worse: I couldn't concentrate on my usual businesses, I felt terrible, I was reading and watching EVERYTHING vore-related, even if I didn't like it at all - but I just had to ease the painful pangs attacking my brain. So, after some time, I gave up. I thought it was the best option because that way at least I wouldn't go crazy about the things and I would be able to go around my day without uncontrollable "hunger" I had for vore. That's what saved me.

Slowly, I understood that I wasn't bad or weird. I was simply built like that - like many other nice people, and there was nothing in vore that would really mean harm to anyone. My mom who was aware about my problems supported me as much as she could - and she accepted my interests without any negative words about it. After giving myself freedom, I could study and filter the information I was consuming and, finally, I discovered what I TRULY liked. I calmed down at last. That's when the blog was started which turned out to be the finishing dot in the book of my struggles.

Now, I'm into vore from the bottom of my heart - and I'm not ashamed of that! As many say, it's OK to be different since there is no threat to others. Our features are what make us - us. It's the truth we should never forget about.

#soft vore #safe vore #personal #ask game #extreme cuddling #willing pred #willing prey

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cowgurrrl · 11 months

Note

ok what am I supposed to do now the one for the money, two for the show is done!!!?! I would love more lord while I go back a reread everything from the beginning!

If you’re taking requests maybe quick snapshots of the year apart? Not to get too personal but I have a crush and I’ve been stalking their social media but like in a chill way (or I’m trying to) I imagine reader and Joel both seeing each others accomplishments or posts or being tagged in things and just being happy for each other but also….the longing

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author's note: this is so angsty i'm sorry

Summary: This ask

Warnings: angst, yearning, oh it's so sad

Joel Miller's New Album Set to Break Records

Everything We Know About Joel Miller's New Album Glass House

Glass House Expected to Go Platinum Before Next Month

What Songs on Joel Miller's New Album Are About Famous Actress Ex?

You almost text Joel about the headlines and theories flooding your timeline. Almost. You actually started typing out a message before reading the last message you sent him almost four months ago and quickly deleting it. You're happy for him. You really are. In the pictures from his album release party, he looked insanely happy, posing with Ellie and Sarah and hugging his musician friends in celebration. He even played one of his newest songs, "Love-in-idleness," at the party with only his acoustic guitar and that deep voice of his. You think you would know it's about you even if he didn't tell you about it before you left. Love-in-idleness is the flower used in A Midsummer Night's Dream to make a love potion to unite the couples. It's common knowledge, but Joel might be one of the only people in the world who knows how much that play means to you. The song quickly becomes one of your favorites, but you don't tell him.

You scroll through his social media unashamedly. Dave Grohl and half the world congratulates him on his album release. He's making the music he's always wanted to make. Sarah told you she got into UCLA, and Ellie is drawing again. He's happy. They all are. So, why do you feel so shitty? Neither of you has deleted the pictures of each other from your profiles. It feels like a staring contest, seeing who will hold the torch of your relationship longer. It doesn't help that people are screenshotting the pictures of you together to "add context" to Joel's lyrics. The one that makes you break down is a quick snapshot someone took of you leaning on him in Central Park when you were watching the guitarist with lyrics from "The Yellow Subway."

She knows more than me. You better believe

That city couldn't hold her right, but then

I couldn't either.

Despite the heartbreaking lyrics, you two look comfortable together— your head on his shoulder and his hand in yours. You cry in between scenes, ruining your makeup and having a mini-therapy session with your makeup artist, Saoirse, as a result. You don't post anything about his new album, but you put on a happy face and post snapshots from your time spent in Ireland thus far. Pitchers of Guinness, the Cliffs of Moher, stunningly green mornings, and a picture of you and the film crew hiding out in a tent while the rain comes down around you. Joel likes the photos but makes no other move to communicate with you.

You wonder if he's torturing himself in the same way you are. You wonder if he's waiting for a headline about you dating someone new like you are for him. You wonder if he's hurting the way you are. Selfishly, you hope he is because that means he still thinks of you. You also want him to hurt because he hurt you. You still love him, but you can't be the woman who crawls back to someone who can't trust her with things, like telling her the mother of his child is back in town.

This is what's best. It's what needs to happen. You need to be here, working, and he needs to be there, being a dad and making music. It doesn't make it any easier or soothe the ache in your heart, but it's necessary. It's for your own good. Right?

Right?

#one for the money two for the show #rockstar!joel x actress!reader #rockstar!joel miller #tlou au #the last of us au #joel miller fic #joel miller requests

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kay-elle-cee · 7 months

Text

20 questions for Fic Writers

Thank you to @annabtg and @mppmaraudergirl for the tag, this was so fun to go through and think about!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22! (which is my favorite number, yay!) 4 of these are ficlet/micro collections though.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

237,930 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter! I've written for others before, and I keep saying I'm going to go back to Pirates of the Caribbean but the Jily brainrot has such a hold on me I don't know if it's going to happen.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Things That Haven't Happened Yet i'll be fine, i'll be good A Thrill Divine, Down My Spine no, i could never give you peace restless waves rise and fall

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always always always! I so appreciate everyone reading, but when you COMMENT? You took time out of your day to TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT? 💕💕💕💕 All the love in the WORLD from me!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmmm so listen, let's have a chat. I love angst—that's not surprising anyone. But I also love the HAPPINESS at the end. So even if it's not downright happy, it's usually at least hopeful. But also with that said, probably this micro. (or also maybe this oneshot)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest? Instinctively I wanted to say Magic Like This but it's still canon-verse so.....I'm going to go with my waves meet your shore (forever and evermore), which is a oneshot in my Pirate Jily universe. It wasn't even supposed to BE this happy, they just took the reins from me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I do not (or rather, I haven't yet), and I feel incredibly fortunate for that. I'm sure the day will come, though!

9. Do you write smut. If so, what kind?

@athenasparrow prodded me into it and I do now! I only write Jily, so M/F, and it's pretty tame, all things considered 😅

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

RIP to my Titanic x Jily crossover I started when I was 13 and never finished. Crossovers don't hold any appeal to me, personally (though I guess at age 13 I thought differently.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had a request from someone to translate Things That Haven't Happened Yet into Russian, but I'm not sure if it ever happened.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not in the Jily fandom! When I was 13 my friends and I passed a journal around and round-robined a Harry Potter fic. And then a few years later in another fandom I collabed with another author but she ended up having to see the thing through because I had to study for my SATs (and I started dating Mr. Kelsey and he started taking up all my free time OOPS).

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Jily! (though Willabeth does have a strong hold on me still to this day)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm still optimistic about all my WIPs. 😅 Evans Sisters Bakery is one I really want to figure out—I have a few pieces written, but the plot just isn't working for me. I really hope to shake it all out next year. The one that's furthest in the backseat is probably but if the story's over, why am i still writing pages? which I've shared excerpts from (Lily and James break up seventh year, still love each other though. It's very angsty and there's lots of secret meetings regardless of the breakup).

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oh man, I don't know. Dialogue, maybe? I like to think my dialogue reads natural. Also I think I'm good at bringing the angst in a way that makes sense for the characters and not just writing angst for angst's sake. (But you tell me if I'm wrong! 😂)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. I'm not great at scene setting. I want to get to the action/emotions/conflict like immediately lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I could do it believably? I'd give it a shot. But I can't so I won't!

19. First Fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter! (Harmony fans RISE @suzyq31).

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I answered this written and I PROMISE it's not recency bias, but i'll be fine, i'll be good is so incredibly close to my heart and is the fic I've worked longest and most carefully on, so...that one.

Tagging @cascader @alittlebitofeverything23 @sunshinemarauder @isahorcrux if you feel up for it!

#tag game #writer fic asks #me #20 questions

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sneverussape · 8 months

Note

For the asks :33 some fun ones and a lot of angsty ones. As always, feel free to skip if this is too many!

8, 9, 10, 13, 16, 33, 36, 41, 50

u know for whom :3

ah my friend you do me a great favor by asking for angst specifically XD i shall do my best to deliver!

8. Unpopular opinion about them

in the same way that people love to argue that lily was such a 'bad friend' to severus, severus also could have been equally toxic for lily. she was right to break off the friendship if she had felt unsafe. she was right to have set up boundaries to protect herself. she was not responsible for severus or for his happiness and ending their friendship could have been the healthiest way to move forward.

i'm also on team average!height snape (6ft is the tallest i will accept as his height but he's so willowy it doesn't really make him look formidable). compared to his da, he's pretty much a runt.

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

already answered here!

10. Best moment on screen (or in the book)

ooooh i have several favorites in the books, but one is this scene:

“That is just as well, Potter,” said Snape coldly, “because you are neither special nor important, and it is not up to you to find out what the Dark Lord is saying to his Death Eaters.” “No — that’s your job, isn’t it?” Harry shot at him. He had not meant to say it; it had burst out of him in temper. For a long moment they stared at each other, Harry convinced he had gone too far. But there was a curious, almost satisfied expression on Snape’s face when he answered. “Yes, Potter,” he said, his eyes glinting. “That is my job.”

i like it because it cements him as one who truly understands and accepts his responsibility that he is the adult in the situation and they're supposed to be doing the hard work, not the children. there's also a sliver of trust between him and harry in this scene that rarely shows itself: harry has just practically outed him as a spy, but he stays calm about it and merely acknowledges it. a begrudging sort of respect has started to form between the two shown by how, even though severus insults harry at the onset, he also allows harry to acknowledge the reality of their situation by letting him freely say what he did with none of the usual repercussions. the 'almost satisfied' expression was my undoing. you can say severus was almost proud.

it's rare that an adult actually treated the kids the same way snape did in this instance. they (dumbledore, the weasleys, mcgonagall, etc) always vacillated between treating them like babies by not allowing them to know of any sort of information, or cutting them loose to let them fend for themselves. you can tell snape didn't want them to fend for themselves. he wanted to help, and proved it by doing everything in his power to lead the kids to the next step of their mission.

13. Dumbest thing they’ve ever done

i know i wrote about the hippogriff scene based on canon events but as an hc...i'd say the dumbest thing he's ever done was provoking local cokeworth hooligans to a brawl when he was younger, on one of those days that he desperately needed to feel something after the falling out with lily. it's not that he didn't know how to fight back with his fists; he did, but he had also deliberately picked a gang of 4 (and wasn't that familiar) probably just to prove to himself that he could take them on. he was sorely mistaken in that regard. his parents had been apoplectic with rage and mam spent a good bit of that week's earnings on potions ingredients so she could brew him bruise balm and blood replenishers. taking him to st. mungo's would have raised ministry alarms for wizard endangerment and none of them wanted that. da kept trying to get him to tell him the boys' names but severus kept his silence. it didn't matter anyway.

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

hmm. maybe that there were times when he did enjoy the surge of power that came with being a death eater. he didn't like acknowledging it because he was deeply uncomfortable with the notion that he truly was the sadist many of the children saw him as.

also that petunia was a pretty bird, especially when she was a teenager while he and lily had still been children, but that's something he had buried deep in his unconscious mind, way before it was even a coherent thought.

33. Something guaranteed to make them cry

old muggles who were homeless or begging on the streets.

mr. khatry's red curry.

his students' atrocious spelling and writing. (dumbledore really should overhaul the curriculum to include english reading and writing classes for these miscreants; he spends far too much time teaching the little fools basic syntax and grammar when he could be focusing on the actual subject matter).

36. Their favorite season

summer! not only are there no classes but he deeply enjoys how long and languid days the days are. it's also the time of the year when he spends the most time out in the sun since he has to help with the upkeep of his neighbors' homes. this always results in him getting a bit of a tan that's made all the more evident when he troops back to the castle. minerva teases him mercilessly for it and he always lies and says he got it vacationing in pompeii or alexandria or some other exotic location. minerva doesn't believe a word of it but enjoys their little game and always asks him for stories about his travels which he embellishes with ridiculous details.

there's also a single week in the summer when time seems to stand still and the air seems breathless and the ghosts of his childhood seem to hold out their phantom hands out to him. he disappears for hours on end on those days, and no one dares to ask where he's going or where he's been. he always comes back at the end of the day, rumpled and slightly disheveled, with his head hung low. the neighbors know well enough to keep their distance on those days, and collectively breathe a sigh of relief when the winds turn once the week is done and severus is back to his acerbic self.

41. If they could have lunch with anyone in the world (living or dead, from any fictional universe or the real world), who would it be?

this is a good question! knowing severus and his incessant thirst for knowledge, he'd probably choose someone he could learn from, like merlin. lunch would be spent not eating but for learning and experimentation. other viable choices would probably be alan turing, charles darwin, and salazar slytherin.

50. A memory they’ve blocked out

i've written a piece about this before that i never published. instead of one, i'll give you four memories straight from that piece :)) they revolve around the breaking down of his and tobias' relationship.

cw corporal punishment by parent (switching)

excerpt from In the House of My Father (unpublished):

—

“Da!”

The first memory: he was six years old and clattering down the stairs just as his father opened the door. Tobias was large and took up the entire frame of the entryway. He easily picked Severus up as he came running, then swiftly moved him onto his shoulders, securing the boy’s balance by placing his hands behind his back for support.

“’Ere’s me lad!” his father shouted, his voice booming in the tiny hallway. “The tallest boy in the world!”

“Aye!”

“Wipe your shoes before you come in, Tobias, I won’t have you messing up the floor I just cleaned, you hear me now?” Eileen’s voice could be heard from the kitchen, strained with tight annoyance. “And wash your hands before you come for supper. Bring your son with you.”

Your son. Severus felt a burst of pride at that label. Of course he was his father’s son. Who else would he be?

“Ye hungry, lad?” His father asked, peering up at him.

“Starvin’, Da.”

“Ye’r sayin’ grace tonight, ye hear? Can yer remember them all? Them’s big words.”

“’Course!” He had spent most of the day committing to memory the short prayer Da usually had them utter before meals, no matter how meager. Tobias agreeing for him to say them that night was the proudest moment of his young life. He was not going to let his Da down.

“Tha’s a good lad.”

The second memory: him at eight in front of the mirror as Eileen brushed out the tangles in his hair. He was wearing his best shirt, the white one with the crisp collar, and trousers his Mam had freshly ironed, the one that had nearly no patches. These were his Sunday clothes, and he secretly looked forward to wearing them after a whole week of wearing the ill-fitting outfits he had to endure on other days.

Eileen stood behind him, gentle in her ministrations as her long smooth fingers ran down his scalp.

“Won’t you come, Mam?” Severus asked, although this was an argument they always had and the answer was always the same. It never deterred his determination, however.

“No, Severus,” came the predictable reply.

“But why?” He couldn’t help his statement from curling into a whine. “Yer already missed my Holy Communion!”

“We’ve discussed this before. I never perceived you a dense child.” Eileen raised an eyebrow at him in challenge and Severus huffed. “Do stop.”

“It’s just Mass, Mam. Fr. Delaney says—”

“This is something between you and your father and I cannot join, Severus.”

“But you’re married!”

“It is allowed for us to be so. That’s hardly the point.”

Severus crossed his arms. “All yer havta do is sit there and copy what Da and I are doin’…”

“Severus.” Eileen sighed. “It’s not the same. I do not belong to that group. I do not share the same beliefs.”

“Oh? Is it the same as Da not bein’ able to do mag—ow!”

To his surprise, Eileen’s grip on him tightened and he was wrenched sideways to look up at his mother. Her eyes, which were usually dark and emotionless, were suddenly clouded. The breath she released was a tremble. Severus stared back at her, confused.

“Mam? Are you…”

“Severus, you must never mention magic in front of your father.” Her voice had dropped to a harsh whisper, and her nails were digging into his shoulder. He winced. “We’ve discussed this before! Do you want all your magic to be taken away? Do you want us to be taken away?”

Severus shook his head, suddenly unnerved by the change in his mother. “N-no. Never, Mam,” he whispered.

“Good.” Her grip on him loosened, but only by a fraction. “I do not want to discuss this again, do you understand? Or I will leave you here alone, Severus. I swear it. No more of this talk.”

“Y-yes, Mam.”

The third memory: The first time he had done accidental magic that he could remember was as he watched his father make his way down the icy steps of their home on the way to work. He didn’t know how old he was. But Tobias had slipped, his boots suddenly unable to keep his balance, and all of a sudden, he was tumbling headfirst onto the street, seconds away from cracking his head on the frozen pavement—

Severus raised his hands instinctively and his father’s form hung suspended in the air as though he was held back by an invisible force. Moments later, he crashed down, face first, but this time he had had enough time to shield himself with his arms. The commotion was loud enough to alert his mother, who rushed out of the kitchen and into the cold to see what had happened.

“Tobias!”

“It was angels, ‘Leen! I swear to Christ, the hand of God jus’ saved me!”

The fourth memory: Spare the rod, spoil the child.

“Bend over.”

Severus was ten. There was a scorch mark near the wall where the fire in the grate had flared up with his accidental magic. His father had not seen, but he had heard the argument that had taken place between Severus and Eileen. He had heard his son’s raised voice and had immediately appeared, switch in hand.

“Bend over now, Severus!” Severus bent over. Five strikes against his bare bottom made him howl in pain, and he had not hated his father any more than that moment.

and that's it! i never finished this piece hehehe. but i thought it was appropriate because he starts remembering these as he lay dying in the shrieking shack. :3

#ask game #snape #hp #surprise ficlet #my fic

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bookaddict24-7 · 3 months

Text

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

EVERY WEEK I WILL POST VARIOUS REVIEWS I’VE WRITTEN SO FAR IN 2024. YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY GOODREADS FOR MORE UP-TO-DATE REVIEWS HERE.

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16. Shock Marriage for the Powerful Spaniard by Cathy Williams: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I was addicted to this cheeseball of a book. I'm trying to read through my large (and thrifted) Harlequin book collection, and this was the first one of the year. I'm happy it was because even though it had the typical cheesiness, stilted dialogue, thesaurus raiding, and the confusing use of an Italian term of endearment spoken by a supposed Spanish man, it wasn't a slow book in the least. It was quick, addicting, and had a couple of spicy scenes.

I do have to side-eye the cover creator because the FMC was supposed to have a "latte" coloured complexion (which I hated, but also made her not white. Love that whitewashing of a cover.

Read this for entertainment purposes, not for much else. Although, I AM a sucker for this trope.

___

17. We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I am grateful to the person who put this book on my radar (thank you m/m reddit group). This book was beautiful and full of admittedly high stressful moments, made a little bit worse by my anxiety that this was going to end like so many books that were written during the decades that this book is set in. Actually, I love that one of the MCs comments on this because it's always been one of my pet peeves when it comes to classic Queer books.

I loved the dynamics between these two characters and how they worked off each other. They were amazing together and even though they weren't perfect, I loved their vulnerability and related to their anxiety (I have a bad habit of empathizing too much with characters when I'm reading from their perspectives). Their love felt like such a naturally progressive thing and whenever they described how they saw each other, my heart did a little dance for them. Although the story spans just a bit over a year (maybe more?) it felt like these two were friends for years.

I also adored the side characters and the found family they offered to the characters. During a time where trust was a gift, these two were gifted with the very best. If they were real people, I only wish that they got to live the best rest of their lives together possible.

In a way, I wanted to cry at the end of this book. The journey, their love, their growth, and the fact that this was reflective of how so many Queer people might have lived during those decades (and some still live this way). It's so heartbreaking knowing people can't just...exist and love who they want. It's mind-blowing.

Anyway, this was sweet, angsty, sexy, and touching. I loved it so much.

___

18. Lotus by Jennifer Hartmann: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Mega-TWs for this book--the author includes them at the beginning of the book. Including CSA.

Jennifer Hartmann has quickly become one of my favourite authors. This is only my second book by her, but it was so exceptional that now I MUST have every single one of her books. STILL BEATING had me in such a chokehold that I didn't think it was possible to have the same addicted experience to another book by her, but I was WRONG.

LOTUS was a dark, romantic, and trauma laced read. Everyone had their own past trauma to confront and I think that's a realistic take because most of us have something we're struggling with in our adult lives. The way Hartmann tackles trauma and somehow still finds the beauty in the dark and in what scares us is truly masterful. She offers possibilities to people who have lost hope of any sort of future. It was tear-inducing, but also such an experience.

The MMC was so well-written and I love that Hartmann was consistent in his persona throughout the whole book. He was so endearing and I just wanted to protect him from the world. Side note: every time I thought of him, I saw the actor who plays Reacher in the show of the same name. Iykyk. The way he cared for the FMC was so pure and like she mentions early in the book, he hasn't been tainted or jaded by humanity. He was a beautiful human being.

The FMC was the epitome of "smile and fake it till you make it". She was quirky and fun, but also carried some heavy reminders of how fragile life is. Though I got frustrated with her a few times, I also completely understood why she was the way she was.

The way everything came together at the end had me yelling "I KNEW IT!", because apparently I'm a book detective, was amazing. Even though the twist is heartbreaking and had me crying a bit, it was so powerful and had everything come together so perfectly.

Hartmann gave every character introduced a life and a heart--and she made them all vulnerable and showed how strong those characters were for their imperfections.

I loved, loved, loved this book.

___

19. Eragon by Christopher Paolini: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read January 2024

I read this about 16 years ago, so it felt like I was reading it for the first time. I listened to the audiobook, which I love to do when I'm re-reading, and let me just prepare you: the voice actor is no bueno at magical voices LOL.

Anyway, the story itself was fun and I like to think it stood the test of time. It was fun, full of adventure, and being older, I can tell this story was written by a younger author. This is in no way a bad thing--in fact, I think it made it more believable for me that this MC is only 15-16. The writing felt more like the author was going on his own adventure and he really loved reading fantasy books. It was just pure fun. Although at times, I seriously was impressed with his mastery over the English language with his writing.

Overall, this was a fun re-experience. Some points were a little on the slower side, but I can also see that this is building that foundation for an epic series. Will definitely be re-reading the sequel!

___

20. Murder in the Family by Cara Hunter: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I was worried about the hype surrounding this book because hype and I aren't always the best of friends. But listen, I started the audiobook one night and finished the book the following day. THIS WAS SO ADDICTING and brilliant.

I highly recommend doing the audiobook--it's a full cast and minus the music (there wasn't any), this felt like a podcast and I adore those kinds of stories.

I'm impressed with how Hunter was able to create such strong personalities with other an initial description of what each specialist does for a living and their dialogue (especially since the story is told in the style of a script and other multimedia add ons, like photos and maps and clues.) But I think hearing the voice actors give life to these characters also helped a lot.

The twists had my eyebrows rising and my smile of surprise growing after every episode. And when all was revealed, that last punch of a surprise had me wishing I could yell at someone about it. Fantastic.

Normally, thrillers and I are very hit or miss--this was 100% a hit with me. So much freaking fun.

___

21. Set the Record Straight by Hannah Bonam-Young: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of my favourite things in romance novels is something that I know a lot of people don't like: little to no conflict. Maybe it's because it's a novella, but this one was such a breath of fresh air. Communication? No misunderstandings? Respect for your partner? No bullshitting around the truth? Sign me right up.

My biggest regret is reading this in January rather than during the holidays!

I loved the two MCs' friendship and how it was the perfect foundation for their relationship. That being said, I did think it all happened super quick and while I know this is because this is a novella, but I wouldn't have minded if this was a bit of a longer book--just so we could dive a bit more into their past and their relationships with the people around them.

This was also SPICY. I listened to the audiobook and the I would pause what I was doing just to stand there and listen with hot cheeks. This was hot HOT. If you like that in romance novels, yeah, this is for you. It was super caliente and I was very here for it.

I highly recommend, not just for the spice, but because this relationship is so pure and it was just a bite of happiness between two friends who should have been more all along but finally found their way to each other. Also, there may be some relatable moments in here and I just--yeah.

___

22. The Measure by Nikki Erlick: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I think THE MEASURE is a great metaphor for how the world treats people it considers "other" and just how interlaced we all truly are at the end of the day.

While the story itself is about the strings and the lengths they offer the individual, at the core of this story is a message about how we view life and how others view our own lives. It's that continuous question of: if my life is mine, why does it bother you what I do with it? And then using the small few to crucify the rest with inane laws and prejudices. Many of the events in this book could easily mirror what is continuously happening in our societies.

We get to see the story of THE MEASURE play out through various characters and as their lives come together and separate, I was constantly in awe of how it was all happening. I wanted certain answers and knew I had to be happy with whatever I was offered because like the characters, I only had the strings and the theories to go off.

I won't lie, this made me cry a few times. I felt anger and heartache, joy at the power of humanity and love, and awe at the smallness of the world.

While I loved this book, I wouldn't say it was a favourite of the year, but it was definitely memorable and I'd definitely recommend it. The last author to make me feel like this about books that explore this kind of message was Karen Thompson Walker.

I highly recommend THE MEASURE if you're looking for a book that will challenge you to look at your life and ask yourself: would you open the box, or keep it closed and just live your life unaware?

___

23. Lovelight Farms by B.K. Borison: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm definitely reading this series out of order, but who's keeping track, right?

I liked LOVELIGHT FARMS more than its sequel. This one was told only from the POV of the FMC, but something about this one captured my interest more. Maybe it was the angsty friendship, or the fact that everyone was saying "IT'S HAPPENING!", which was adorable.

I think I also liked the dynamic between these two characters a lot more than the characters in the second book. I think they worked a lot better than a one night (one weekend?) stand that somehow couldn't stop thinking about each other. These two characters had a history to work off and it was nice to see that evolve.

The farm was also like a character itself and I loved seeing it from this perspective--the one of a person who truly loves and breathes the space.

What I didn't like so much was the stupid miscommunication that happened near the end because of the FMC's assumptions, fears, and anxieties. I get it, love is scary af, but you know what's scarier? Miscommunications.

Other than that blip, I really enjoyed this one and I can see how anyone who reads this is easily pulled into this fun and quirky contemporary world!

___

Have you read any of these books? Would you recommend them?

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Happy reading!

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