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starmieknight · 2 years

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A Truth Universally Acknowledged

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character, Tony Stark x Pepper Potts, Thor x Jane Foster

Summary: After a long period away from home, Collins returns to work at the Avengers Tower where she meets their newest guest. He’s certainly charming and handsome, but she can’t shake the feeling that everyone is hiding something from her when it comes to him.

After the events of the Convergence, Loki is finally given a second chance to redeem himself by Odin’s favorite method of dealing with unruly sons: banishment to Midgard. Sometimes, he’d rather be sent back to isolation on Asgard than deal with Stark and his lackeys. But the pretty little PA that stumbles into his parlor is a welcome distraction.

At the very least, he can use her to rile up the Avengers.

Contents: Secret Identity, Fluff, Romance, Soft, Gentleman!Loki, Pre-Age of Ultron, Flirting, Slow Burn

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen, Chapter Sixteen, Chapter Seventeen, Chapter Eighteen, Chapter Nineteen, Chapter Twenty, Chapter Twenty-One, Chapter Twenty-Two, Chapter Twenty-Three, Chapter Twenty-Four, Chapter Twenty-Five, Epilogue

Despite having so many occupants, the Avengers’ floor was often empty during the day. According to Pepper, the team only really came together at the end of the day when their appetites called them to the kitchen. More often than not, they came and left alone or in odd pairs; most often it was the Black Widow paired with either Hawkeye or the Captain.

Collins herself had yet to see more than one or two of the hero team and never for more than a quick moment as she popped in to collect something for Pepper.

Therefore, it was a bit of a surprise when she found a familiar face settled at the kitchen counter, idly taking notes and sipping from a teacup Collins recognized as Pepper’s.

He glanced up at her entrance and stood, buttoning his suit jacket.

“Oh, hello Mister Cooper. I’m afraid I didn’t see you there.” Collins greeted. She came to a stop at the end of the counter, feeling a bit awkward. She honestly thought she wouldn’t see him again.

“It would seem that I have a tendency to surprise you, Miss Cunningham.” Mister Cooper offered her that half-smile of his and a polite nod.

She cleared her throat and tried to ignore the little thrill she got when he directed that smile at her. She lowered her eyes in an attempt to collect herself and regretted it at once.

Collins dealt with men in suits every day - why did Mister Cooper seem to fill them out so differently?

Today, he wore a dark charcoal suit that ought to have made him overly somber, but only enhanced the contrast of his dark hair against pale skin and made his eyes all the clearer.

Collins’ eyes flickered back to his face and found him watching her with barely concealed amusement.

“I’m sorry to interrupt.” she blustered, feeling her face warm. “I just came to get a file for Miss Potts. She said she forgot it at breakfast.”

“Ah, yes.” Mister Cooper mused. His brow furrowed as he looked over the counter, bare except for his book and tea. He shook his head. “I do recall seeing her, but I don’t remember a… file. Allow me to assist you.”

“Oh, thank you, but I’m sure I can find it. I don’t want to trouble you.” Collins blushed further at the offer. She was capable of doing her job.

Her heart jumped unpleasantly at the thought of being seen as incompitent. She had worked hard to get her position. Her pride wouldn’t accept help easily.

“It’s no trouble, Miss Cunningham.” Mister Cooper assured her. His smile took on a slightly bitter edge. “Trivial as it may seem, even looking for a lost item would give me something to do with my time.”

“Oh my, you must be terribly bored, then.” Collins stared at him in surprise. The Avengers Tower was a bit of a funhouse for adults in some ways. There were pools and gyms and virtual reality centers dedicated to rest and relaxation for employees. As a guest, Mister Cooper had access to the spaces usually reserved for the Avengers themselves. “Are the amenities not to your liking?”

“They are suitable enough, but more stimulating for the body than the mind. I’m not a man prone to idle behavior.”

Collins nodded carefully and tried not to stare at the way his suit jacket reinforced the hint of muscle beneath. The folds of fabric were meant to straighten the silhouette of a man, but could only hide so much.

To make matters worse, Mister Cooper seemed to catch on to her reluctant admiration and crossed his arms.

Collins bit her lip as his biceps threatened to break free from his jacket.

He wasn’t as burly as Thor, but he was no wilting flower either.

She cleared her throat again.

“You don’t seem like the video gaming type, either.” she deflected. “What has Mister Stark left you to bide your time with, in that case?”

Mister Cooper dropped his arms in favor of tucking them behind his back. He moved about the kitchen, occasionally opening a drawer or adjusting an appliance on the counter.

Collins hurried to do the same, looking around the connected living room for her missing file.

Her attention was drawn back to Mister Cooper when he spoke again.

“Stark supplied me with a collection of literature when I first arrived. Still, it has been quite some time and one can only enjoy a collection of sonnets so many times in repetition.”

“A poetry fan, are you?” The openness of his statement made her smile. The boys she had grown up with wouldn’t be caught dead reading poetry or even admit that they enjoyed it.

“Your Shakespeare was a rather talented wordsmith.”

“Oh, absolutely.” Collins beamed and recalled one of the few she had loved enough to memorize as a girl.

“What is your substance, whereof are you made,

That millions of strange shadows on you tend?

Since every one hath, every one, one shade,

And you, but one, can every shadow lend.

Describe Adonis, and the counterfeit

Is poorly imitated after you.”

Collins stuttered off, a warm blush tinging her face. She turned away from Mister Cooper and busied herself looking over the collection of magazines on the coffee table. She doubted Pepper would have left her file there, but she couldn’t bear to look him in the eye.

Quoting poetry was one thing, but she had essentially told a stranger to his face that he was more handsome than Adonis.

Her father would be steaming mad with her for being so… bold.

“On Helen’s cheek all art of beauty set,

And you in Grecian tires are painted new.

Speak of the spring and foison of the year:

The one doth shadow of your beauty show,

The other as your bounty doth appear;

And you in every blessed shape we know.

In all external grace you have some part,

But you like none, none you, for constant heart.”

Mister Cooper finished for her, his tone gentle and his eyes warm. They crinkled at the edges and Collins felt her heart jump again. “I see you’re an admirer yourself.”

“When I have a spare moment.” Collins breathed, relieved he allowed her to take control of the conversation rather than pointing out her embarrassment. “I admit, I’ve always been a bookworm. Actually, I might have a few things in my own collection I could lend you if you don’t mind my annotations. Give me an idea of what you like and I’ll pick something out for you.”

“A most generous offer indeed.” Mister Cooper’s smile grew and he left the kitchen to join her in the living room. “Might I ask about your favorite work from the good bard while I consider my own choices?”

“Um, probably Macbeth.” she answered, thinking back to the version of the play her favorite English teacher had shown her class.

“By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.” he quoted musically. “A rather dark choice.”

“I enjoyed it very much… and the adaptation with Sir Patrick Stewart.” Collins grinned a bit, feeling her fluster fade in favor of passion. She could talk about books and plays all day. “I liked how Macbeth was the one who put his own fate into motion. That’s the same thing that drew me to Oedipus Rex and I can argue that the tale was even more twisted. Besides, Macbeth had some influence over my favorite Lord of the Rings character.”

Éowyn’s crowning moment as she faced down the Witch-King had given Collins such a thrill that her breath caught every time she saw the movie or read the book. Be the line ‘I am no man!’ or ‘But no living man am I!’, the impact was always the same.

Admiration and adoration coursed through Collins for the fair shield maiden.

“Now, that is one I’ve heard good things about, but yet to see for myself.” Mister Cooper admitted sheepishly.

Collins' jaw dropped.

“Dude, Lord of the Rings is my absolute favorite!” she exclaimed, moving closer to him in her excitement. “I have multiple copies because I wanted special editions. And The Hobbit… and all of the movies and their extended editions…”

Collins laughed a bit nervously at herself. She had revealed herself as a nerd now.

Mister Cooper looked delighted and his voice dropped to a murmur as he drew closer as well, leaving very little room between Collins and himself. A person would find it difficult to pass between them if necessary. “I should absolutely like to read that one if you so favor it.”

“It’s the best.” Collins smiled shyly and twisted her fingers together. “But what about you? Have you decided which play is your favorite?”

“I would have to say… Hamlet. Or Henry V.” He almost pouted at his own indecision. “It’s a difficult choice to make.”

“I like Hamlet, too!” Collins loved the infamous soliloquy the prince gave in the play. “I can’t say I’m familiar with Henry, though.”

“I admit, you surprised me with your choice.”

“How so?”

“Are you not a romantic?” he teased gently. “I thought Romeo and Juliet to be well-favored by young ladies.”

“Ey, don’t push it.” It was Collins’ turn to pout and she fixed him with a firm glare. “I’m no starry eyed girl. Besides, A Midsummer Night’s Dream is better than R and J.”

“Ah, there is the romantic.” Mister Cooper’s smile softened.

“I admit I’m partial to the tale. We had an impromptu play back when I was in high school. Due to a higher ratio of girls to boys in my class, I landed the role of Lysander and got to profess my love for my best friend - Hermia, coincidentally. We got a lot of laughs out of it.” Collins tittered, rambling a bit in an attempt to take control again. She had stopped looking for Pepper’s file entirely.

Mister Cooper laughed and the sound reverberated through her bones. “That I would have liked to see.”

“I’ll bet. I think she might even have a picture saved still. I wore a mustache for the role and I have to say, I totally rocked it.” Collins dared to look up and found herself caught in his gaze.

Mister Cooper looked thoughtful and his expression took on a more solemn tone. Collins felt rather like he was looking through her.

The light tone between them became subdued and she felt lost on how to get it back.

Did she even want it back?

Everything about Mister Cooper was intense and Collins found it difficult to focus on much else when faced with his company.

It thrilled her as much as it confused her.

“Do you know Edgar Allan Poe?” she asked suddenly, startling both of them.

Mister Cooper drew in a deep breath and his teasing smile returned. “The name is a bit familiar, but I can’t say I’ve met him. The Raven author, correct?”

“I’d be worried if you did. And very curious about your skin care routine.” Collins quipped and stepped back, scanning her eyes over the room. She was still there with a job in mind. She needed to put some space between them so she could think clearly again.

“How old do you believe me to be, then, Miss Cunningham?” Mister Cooper laughed quietly and moved the couch cushions to look behind them.

The question caught her off guard.

“Oh, um…” she bit her lip and looked him over again. She was terrible at guessing ages. “Mid-thirties? Or a little older?”

She didn’t want to offend him by going too high, but didn’t think he was too close to her age. His face was a bit lined, but not wrinkled, pleasantly creased around his forehead and eyes like he had a face prepossessed to smiling.

“Ehehe, close enough.” Mister Cooper chuckled, his eyes sparkling.

“.... you’re not going to tell me?”

“What would be the fun in that?”

“Alright, then. Keep your secrets.” Collins huffed with amusement. At least she didn’t upset him.

Mister Cooper laughed at her.

“Anyway, what I was going to say was that I have a collection of Poe’s works.” Collins continued, frowning as she looked over the mantle piece. The file remained elusive and she was beginning to think she’d have to look through Pepper and Mister Stark’s room for it. “There’s a distinction between him and Shakespeare, but you might enjoy some of his works.”

“Which do you prefer more? Shakespeare or your Poe?” Mister Cooper asked curiously.

“Poe.” It was an easy answer. “He has an easier readability for me and I’m a sucker for gothic horror. The Fall of the House of Usher still gives me chills.”

Poe had definitely sparked a lifelong love of horror movies for Collins, along with Stephen King. She had been reading their works long before it was appropriate for a child and found they had shaped her preferences for life.

“Very well.” Mister Cooper tilted his head in acceptance. “Lend me his works and I shall return you with my own favorite when I am finished.”

“It’s a deal.” Collins grinned over her shoulder at him before moving to the hallway. Uncomfortable as she was about invading Pepper’s private space, she’d have to check the bedroom for the file.

“Ah, what’s this?” Mister Cooper called out before she could turn the corner. “Was this the point of your search, Miss Cunningham?”

Collins turned and gasped with delight at the manilla folder in his hand. She couldn’t help herself as she gave a little jump and clapped her hands.

She grinned widely as she rushed back into the living room, quickly closing the space between them again.

“Yes! Thank you, Mister Cooper.” she gushed. “Where was it hiding?”

“Beneath the sofa. Perhaps Miss Potts was in more of a hurry than she realized this morning.” Mister Cooper quirked a brow as he handed over the paperwork.

“It’s not like Pepper to make a mistake like that…” Collins mused, frowning in concern. “Maybe I should convince her to take a break or finish up early.”

Pepper would have been extremely overworked to make a mistake like that. Details were her fine point after years of working for ‘Figure it out as I go along’ Tony Stark.

“Between her work and Stark, I’d assume the idea would be well received.” Mister Cooper snorted dryly. He inclined his head regally. “I will allow you to return to her now and not take up any more of your time. I will think on our conversation as a most pleasant visit when I can no longer stand the presence of my host. It will remind me that not all of the Tower’s occupants are as insufferable.”

“Oh dear, you and Mister Stark are an explosion waiting to happen, aren’t you?” Collins asked helplessly, still wondering at the nature of his relationship with the Avenger’s leader.

“It would seem so.”

“I’ll try to get those books to you as quickly as I can, then.” she promised before offering him a beatific smile. “Thank you so much for your help, Mister Cooper.”

“It was a pleasure, Miss Cunningham.” he intoned quietly, catching her hand with his. He brought her knuckles to his lips and sent a spark through her belly. “I hope to see you again when you return.”

Her face flamed red.

“Yes, well - I’ll make sure you’re home when I stop by.” she gasped, nearly jumping away from him. “Until then.”

There was no other word for it. Collins fled the Avengers’ floor like a deer in flight, the sound of his rich laughter following after her.

She fell against the wall of the elevator and fanned her face furiously with Pepper’s file.

That man was simply dangerous.

#loki mcu #loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki au #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #mcu fanfiction #loki x original character #loki x original female character #loki x OC #loki x OFC #my writing #A Truth Universally Acknowledged

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falklore · 2 years

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You guys won’t believe this

#A TRUTH UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED #kat speaks

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i-lavabean · 4 months

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Sometimes a family is a 97 year old field agent and his feral children

#my art #lavabean art #candela obscura spoilers #candela obscura #circle of tide and bone spoilers #circle of tide and bone #elsie roberts #rajan savarimuthu #cosmo grimm #cordelia glask #oscar grimm #if you know me at all you knew this was coming #I'm physically incapable of not drawing the faves as children #it is a truth universally acknowledged that a lavabean in possession of an art program must draw the faves as babies

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firawren · 2 years

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#it is a truth universally acknowledged #that an empty building in august must be in want of becoming a spirit halloween store #pride and prejudice crack #pride and prejudice #jane austen crack #halloween #1k #2k #3k #4k #5k #6k #7k #8k #9k #10k

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ineffable-suffering · 6 months

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The Jane Austen Ball and why it was never about Nina and Maggie

Otherwise known as (*takes a deep breath*): A completely inflated close-up look at various dialogues and events of Season 2 that prove that the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeeper's Association Meeting Cotillion Ball was supposed to be Aziraphale's confession to Crowley

Look, the point's been made before but that's never kept me from making it myself again, still. In fact, even I made it before, at the end of one of my other metas. But I feel like it's absolutely worthy enough to get its own soppy, way-too-long post. And I do love it so very much to write ridiculously long essays on something that could easily be condensed into a short paragraph.

So, here we go! Snuggle up, get cozy, settle in and, most importantly:

(Word count: 3.177 | Reading time: ~13 minutes)

As I already said above, I laid out a similar case in my meta about why Aziraphale is somewhat of an unreliable narrator. I'll try and recycle it here briefly, so I can further make my point.

When Aziraphale arrives back in London from his Edinburgh journey, he seems oddly happy and giddy for the fact that he just had a rather odd and threatening encounter with Shax. I explain in my other meta that this is because he just spent the last hours of his drive reminiscing on the thrilling and romantic magic show adventure of 1941 and also the fact that he just found out that Crowley has been replaced by Shax and no longer works for Hell.

Ergo: We have a hopelessly lovesick Principality at our hands, who's practically swooning over his serpent who saved him, his books and his magic show all those years ago.

Ergo:

✨This✨

Realistically, Aziraphale should probably be a tad worried about the eery encounter with Shax, in which she definitely had the upper hand on him. But well, if you spend many-a hours driving across the serene countryside (Edinburgh is about an 8-hour drive from London), pondering on one of the craziest, sticky-sweet romantic adventures of your not-life life, well ... things tend to turn a little rosy around the edges. Head in the clouds and all that. Light shades of grey!

Alright, onwards: Once the angel, filled to the very brim with fond memories and butterflies, gets out of the Bentley, he's kindly met with a face full of verdant plants and a very in-character-grumpy Crowley.

Fhwack! Way to burst the rosy bubble.

Seriously, the absolute lightning speed with which Crowley storms out to vacate the bookshop the very second Aziraphale arrives makes me giggle every time.

Let's make a first small (who am I kidding) diversion into analysing the following conversation in unnecessary detail ...

... simply because I enjoy quoting dialogue as an accurate reference in my metas. I'll also highlight certain passages I want to comment on in individual colours so I can back up my thoughts with them below. Alright, their little chinwag goes as follows:

Crowley: "They you are! I was worried something might have happened to you." Aziraphale: "No, nothing happened to me. Very uneventful journey indeed. No strange things at all." Crowley: "Good. That's what we wanna hear." Aziraphale: "Um .. everything okay with- ah.." *nods to the bookshop* Crowley: "Oh, yeah, fine. He's singing to himself. I think he must have been asleep. I heard snoring coming from his bedroom–" Crowley, to the Bentley: "Did you miss me? I bet you did." Aziraphale: "... I'm sure it did." Crowley: "So, any more clues from the mystery of the missing archangel?" Aziraphale: "Not exactly. Or, if there are, I haven't yet cracked the case. But I'm certainly hot on the trail of something." Crowley: "I'm sure you are. Oh, by the way, the whole sudden rain and awning thing was a complete washout." Aziraphale: "Sorry?" Crowley: "You know, project making Nina fall in love with Maggie. I failed, it's your go." Aziraphale: "I see. Well then, Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeeper's Association Monthly Meeting, here we come!" Crowley: "You're really hosting the meeting?" Aziraphale: "Absolutely! And I can guarantee you, it will be a night to remember."

At first glance, this has little to do with the plot of this meta but actually, it folds into my point very nicely! However, it's not time for that yet, so we'll just state the facts as they are for now and then bring them back 'round later when we need them. That being said: For the love of Someone, will these two ever manage to simply tell each other the truth of what happened instead of thinking they can protect each other by lying about it all the time? Hrmpf. As a big fan of open communication myself, I'm close to developing a stomach ulcer with the amount of false truths being spewed here. (Then again – and yes, that is another, way larger meta I'm currently cooking up – it plays so very perfectly into the whole Jane-Austen-Pride-and-Prejudice tragic miscommunication theme that this entire Season has, so I understand the point of it.)

Very uneventful journey indeed, Aziraphale, except for the fact that you were ambushed by a demon who told you she was Crowley's successor, knows about the rumors of the two of you being an item as well as what went down in 1941 (that almost had both of you exposed) and also seems to have figured out where you and your demon boyfriend are hiding Gabriel, all in the span of about a minute. No strange things at all, nooo!

And Crowley's "Oh yeah, fine" is a total lie too. Again, we see him make an absolute run for it before Aziraphale can even enter the bookshop. After all, he just once again witnessed Jim have a Gabriel-flashback, speaking of the Second Coming, while Crowley was alone with him. As fumingly angry he is with the amnesiac archangel – he's also absolutely terrified of what might happen (to him and Aziraphale) should Jim regain his memories. So, no wonder he's quick to vacate the premises after witnessing Jim's rather eery memory flashback (and was, just like Aziraphale, threatened by Shax mere moments later, lol).

But no, nothing out of the ordinary happened to either of them. Tip-top. Absolutely tickety-fucking-boo.

Alright, let's get back on track with the actual topic of this meta. Certainly hot on the trail of something, hm? At first glance, it might seem like Aziraphale is talking about the fact that Gabriel was in company of someone whenever he went to the Resurrectionist Pub. (The clue!) However, I don't actually think he is talking about that. Why? Because, and this slipped my mind too at first, he never actually follows any of this information up, does he? Yes, sure, he went to Edinburgh, found the capital-c Clue and then returned to London. But what does he do with it? Nothing. He doesn't keep investigating this hot trail because that's not the important thing he realized during his journey. No, the more important clue Aziraphale found during his trip, is that Crowley no longer works for Hell and that he is also very much irrevocably in love with him and must confess this at the earliest given chance. (The latter part isn't necessarily a new discovery for Aziraphale, but it surely is fuelled by the fact that he just realized Crowley's out of a Hellish job and simply hasn't told him yet.)

This exchange just the perfect indicator for the fact that Aziraphale, at no point during his drive back, was thinking about the Maggie and Nina mission. He has no idea what Crowley is talking about once he mentions it and seems surprised, even, that he would. Even though they just talked about it on the phone when Aziraphale was still at the graveyard. Which is another important piece of evidence because it means that the last status update Aziraphale got of Mission Lovebirds, was that Crowley had sensed an opportunity to make them fall in love – and had then hung up on him. Why is this important? Because it means that until that very point of their conversation, Aziraphale did not know that Crowley's attempt had failed! There would have been just as much of a chance of Crowley's weather miracle actually working out and Maggie and Nina already having skipped into the sunset happily ever after.

So, riddle me this:

Why would Aziraphale spend the entire ride back from Edinburgh plotting "a night to remember" (because clearly, he already had the entire Ball planned out down to a T in his head since he goes into action right away after arriving) if he didn't even know yet that Crowley's attempt had failed?

To be very clear here: We're not talking about Aziraphale driving on the M1 to London, having a silly little idea for putting on some good music, miracle-ing Nina and Maggie to dance to it and watch them confess their love–

No.

He planned an entire actual Cotillion Ball with very particular location design that involves re-arranging the entire bookshop, specifically designed individual outfits for (almost) every single attendee, topped off with a live band, hors-d'œuvre, drinks and an actual choreographed group dance.

During one car ride.

Where's the party planner Aziraphale AU? I'm waiting!

Now, sure, we know that it's still quite important for Aziraphale to convince Heaven of the faux-reason they gave for their accidental ✨25-Lazarii miracle✨. But if we're all honest, this all seems to be a tad much just to make two random humans fall in love, even for that.

Glittery ball gowns and suits? Red and gold wall curtains? A modified language filter? Bloody vol-au-vents?

Talk about over the top ...

Once we start S2E5, Crowley is still surprised at the mere fact that Aziraphale is actually planning to organize the Monthly Meeting – and he doesn't even know yet that it's gonna be the most extravagant ball-boogaloo that the Whickber Street Community has ever seen! Aziraphale wanting to organize the meeting alone, is enough to render Crowley incredulous, because Aziraphale never mingles with the other shopkeepers. He usually actively avoids them and any sort of social encounters as much as he can because he doesn't care about the bloody Christmas lights, alright?

These things seem mundane and uninteresting to him, obviously, since all he really cares about is hoarding his book collection in peace like the little hedonist he is and drawing as little attention as possible to his none-business business.

Oh, right, speaking of books:

Let's take another unnecessarily detailed look at the whole Whickber Street invitation scene:

Aziraphale realizes very quickly that he's not the only one who's quite unenthusiastic about the blessed Chritsmas lights. And despite his very persuasive methods of temptation ...

... he has to take some more drastic measurements. And those are?

That's right: Giving away his books.

I'll repeat it again, slowly: Aziraphale is willingly (!) giving away or lending his books to pretty much complete strangers to, allegedly, make two other humans strangers fall in love.

Seriously, who is that angel and what has he done with our prim, fussy, hedonistic Aziraphale that protects his books with the vice grip of an eagle carrying his precious prey?

Believe in the importance of Mission Lovebirds as much as you will, but we're talking about Mr. A.Z. Fell here who, over the past millennia, has pretty much spent every day actively working out methods to stop people from purchasing as much as a single paperback from his holy shelves.

And yet: the 1965 September Dr. Who Annual? Given away. The first edition of Expert at the Card Table that was S. W. Erdnase's personal copy? Lent away to grubby human hands to fondle around with.

Let's do another coloured dialogue diversion (don't worry, it's not as extensive as the last one):

Crowley: "You just did what I think you did?" Aziraphale: "I'm not prepared to talk about it." Crowley: "You gave away a book." Aziraphale: "I had to! Maggie and Nina are depending on me. They just don't know it yet."

Crowley backs up my point: This is a huge deal. Aziraphale does not sell his books – let alone give them away for free. We're all shocked! Flabbergasted!

And the explanation Crowley and us get just ... doesn't satisfy. Something and someone sure is depending on this Ball and doesn't know it yet. But it's most definitely not Maggie and Nina, folks.

You know for whom Aziraphale would give away his books in the blink of an eye, though?

Mhm, that's right.

This pretty old serpent.

I want to take a minute to show you the reaction again that Aziraphale has upon entering the very same magic shop him and Crowley went to in 1941 to acquire the Bullet Catch:

You ... you need a minute there, angel? You're sure looking a little ... affected.

And I mean, well, no wonder. He reminisced about that very memory four hours last night. To him, this shop is where the most turbulent, ecstatic, adrenaline-fuelled and romantic night of his life began. And it shows.

I've made my point in my other meta series about how Aziraphale is an incredibly nostalgic character. He romanticizes so many things in his memories – especially the parts that feature Crowley. So, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that he's once again willing to loosen the tight grip he has on his book collection to get the successor of Will Goldstone's Magic Shop, the shop that started it all for him, to come to his fancy Ball.

As we watch Aziraphale and his little lap dog demon pat around Soho, I'd like to take another second to point out that he goes to seven or more establishments before he even invites Nina.

... and he only does so because she starts talking to them on the street. Almost like he'd forgotten about it. Why not ask her at the very beginning? To establish whether or not he'd have to book-blackmail her too?

"Perfectly ordinary invitation with no hidden agenda of any kind", except that he's using you and Maggie as a pretence to resolve his own clusterfuck of a relationship-miscommunication Jane-Austen-style so that he can then hopefully confess his undying love to his demon not-boyfriend boyfriend.

Marvellous!

You'll forgive me another short diversion but my God, the whole exchange at the Marguerite's restaurant with Crowley literally cat-call-whistling Aziraphale over to him (and Aziraphale checking if he meant someone else first, I–)? I am weak. So, so weak and

However, this is also when we get a snippet of Crowley finally revealing the truth in place of his "Oh, he's fine"-lie earlier and telling Aziraphale that he's actually pretty scared Jim might turn back into Gabriel and smite him altogether. And Aziraphale's response is, in a cosmic sense, (remember the pink paragraph now) so hilarious:

"Have you thought of just talking to him?"

Yeah, have you? Have any of the two of you? Just thought about talking? To each other? About anything?

'pparently not. But hey, it's all good because remember what the ultimate remedy for star-crossed lovers simply misunderstanding each other is?

Bish, bash, bosh, problem solved!

Back at the ballroom bookshop, Aziraphale sends Crowley to invite Maggie in order to, in my opinion, not spoil the Ball-y surprise for him. (Inviting Maggie only now?! Wouldn't she be one of the only two guests who really should attend? Why the short notice? If she's really that important for the Ball you're planning, hm?)

On top of this, we see Nina almost not attending the Ball meeting after her partner broke up with her and Crowley being the one who coincidentally runs into her and ushers her into the bookshop before Shax and her "legion" of demons start creeping up on them. Again, if this hadn't happened by pure coincidence, Nina would have left to go home and this whole Ball would have taken place without her, rendering the apparent sole purpose of making her fall in love with Maggie useless.

Why doesn't Aziraphale care more for both of them to attend and be there? Why is he instead busy fussing over everything looking perfect and wonderful and doesn't even seem to notice that both Nina and Maggie are really late to the meeting?

Well. Well.

The answer's in the title, babes.

Alas, Crowley safely gets Maggie and Nina to join them, Mr. Brown is the only one who doesn't get a miracled outfit (fussy, petty angel, you just don't like him, do you?), Jimbriel stuns with glamour and flirt (and whatever sexually suggestive thing he does with his cheeks) and the Whickber Street Ball is a-go!

Sorry, I just had to chuck this in again because Crowley's face here absolutely kills me every time. He looks so confused, I am hollering.

And the heart eyes Aziraphale is making at Nina and Maggie now that they're actually here?

Oh, bless it, angel.

He's all like "Oh look, it's working! Jane was right! It's all going to be resolved, all the misunderstanding and quarrels! Crowley, where's Crowley–"

Ah yes, there he is.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is an angel who is not listening to a single word being said right now. No, in his head, Aziraphale is already down on one knee, pouring his heart out to Crowley after they just danced the night away.

Oh, yes, right. The dancing.

Parallel much?

But well, as marvellous and beautifully romantic as her stories tend to be, it turns out that Jane Austen isn't always right after all. Because before we know it, the perfect night shatters into many-a tiny pieces (literally).

And once again, fhwack:

... the rosy bubble bursts.

Let's take one more deep breath so I can make my final point:

In S2E2, Aziraphale explains to us very exactly what Jane's Balls (hrhr) used to be about: Solving miscommunication and confessing love to one another.

During his car journey back from Edinburgh, Aziraphale:

doesn't know Crowley's Mission Lovebirds had failed

remembers 1941 and just how badly he's in love with Crowley

and also realizes that they seem to have been wildly miscommunicating for quite some time now. (Crowley didn't even tell him he basically got let go!)

So, what does maddeningly strong love plus a want to resolve all the miscommunication equal? That's right: A night to remember! A Ball to change it all! A dance, a vol-au-vent, a confession. And, ideally, a happy ever after. Because:

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man angel in possession of a good fortune Jane Austen collection, must be in want of a wife demon husband.”

The Ball was never for Nina and Maggie. As a byproduct, maybe, yes. But the whole rest of the glimmer and glamour, the careful, romantic planning and set up of it all, the book-bating the other shopkeepers– that was for Crowley and Crowley only.

And oh, if only it were as easy as in the books.

*whispers* I'm sorry, I had to.

***

Your honour, the tinfoil-hat crackpot defence rests. Feel free to share thoughts (and prayers) if you want to!

Au revoir! 💗

#good omens season 2 #good omens #gos2 #go2 #good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens s2 #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #my own meta #the bloody vol-au-vents made me do it #aziraphale has balls #truly #jaune austen ball #it is a truth universally acknowledged that this show is going to drive me out of my mind #azi just wanted his silly little love confession #but then he had to surrender the angle #bummer

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lazycranberrydoodles · 7 months

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kinktober day 7: swapping clothes

yippee yay xie lian in red! follow 4 more hua cheng bait 🚩

#so. can you tell i didnt want to pose anything today #anyway. here i imagine him helping w chengzhu’s duties and dressing the part for fun #think about the psychic damage itd do to hua cheng to see him entirely in his color #okay it is a truth universally acknowledged that xie lian is very easily flustered when it comes to energy exchange #but consider that when he started scrap picking he was very self conscious #and his face got thicker over the years. he is eventually gonna be as nonplussed about his marriage as he is about scrap-godness #the fics that take place years or hundreds of years into their marriage where is a lot more self assured i love you mwah #this is only tangentially related to the drawing but i want to share my headcanons #my art #art #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hualian #xie lian #hob #heaven official’s blessing #kinktober2023

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hotjaneaustenmenpoll · 2 months

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I'm sorry but Greta Gerwig has already told us who the superior darcy is - depression barbie found comfort in firth not macfayden

youtube

Mr Darcy (1995) Vs Mr Darcy (2005)

#propaganda #it is a truth universally acknowledged #that greta gerwig would vote for firth #but one vote does not a winner make #this is a DEMOCRACY #colin firth #pride and prejudice #pride and prejudice 1995 #greta gerwig

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kneelingshadowsalome · 2 months

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A kiss on the forehead, pinch of a butt, and plan b AND ice cream.

König is truly a gentleman 😌

Anything for his lovely girl! ❤️🐶🍨

#It is a truth universally acknowledged #that a single man in possession of a good fortune #must be in want of a wife

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starmieknight · 2 years

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A Truth Universally Acknowledged

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character, Tony Stark x Pepper Potts, Thor x Jane Foster

Summary: After a long period away from home, Collins returns to work at the Avengers Tower where she meets their newest guest. He's certainly charming and handsome, but she can't shake the feeling that everyone is hiding something from her when it comes to him.

After the events of the Convergence, Loki is finally given a second chance to redeem himself by Odin's favorite method of dealing with unruly sons: banishment to Midgard. Sometimes, he'd rather be sent back to isolation on Asgard than deal with Stark and his lackeys. But the pretty little PA that stumbles into his parlor is a welcome distraction.

At the very least, he can use her to rile up the Avengers.

___________________________

“I’m Collins Cunningham, Miss Potts’ assistant. I haven’t heard any news about a guest in the Tower, Mister…”

“Cooper. Damos Cooper.”

“Mister Cooper.”

“It is an honor to make the acquaintance of a lady as lovely as yourself, my dear.”

Contents: Secret Identity, Fluff, Romance, Soft, Gentleman!Loki, Pre-Age of Ultron, Flirting, Slow Burn

Summer in New York was much more bearable than summer in Alabama. It was warmer than one could expect with it being an upper state. But that could be attributed to the masses of people moving in the streets. It was still hot, humid and generally a miserable state of summer heat. At least the mosquitoes weren’t biting like tiny little vampires like they would in Atlanta.

Collins grinned at the sight of the city laid out before her. She liked to admire the hustle and bustle of the tiny cars and people floors and floors below her. She didn’t often watch the city from the penthouse floors and took the chance whenever she came up.

The windows were larger and the floor itself was brighter and more open.

She usually attributed that to Tony’s alter-ego as Iron Man and the need to escape at a moments’ notice. He sometimes had good reason. Most of the time he was avoiding paperwork.

The open concept would work well for the newest residents of the Tower, in particular: a certain giant Asgardian called Thor.

Collins had yet to meet him, but she and Pepper had seen the footage and knew of his ability to fly. It was interesting to see. It seemed less like flying and more like riding on the momentum from flinging his hammer.

She had to admit, she was eager to meet the rest of the Avengers.

Collins peeked around the corner of the entryway after she stepped off of the elevator. She couldn’t see anyone lingering around the couch or the bar; she could see no further into the living space due to the angle.

“Hello?” she called out, moving further into the room. “Anyone home?”

“Hello.” an unfamiliar voice greeted her in return. They sounded English. Collins jumped and looked at the far corner to find a man scrutinizing presence. “It would seem that I am the only one present today.”

He was tall. Collins could see that even as he sat down, all long legs and a lithe torso encased in a lovely gray suit. He wore a small, half-smile as he looked over Collins and she found his jade green eyes captivating. He had sharp cheekbones, softened by long black hair that fell in waves around his shoulders. There was a hint of laugh lines around his eyes that made the intensity of them more bearable. The features all worked well together to give the man a very handsome face.

The man set his book to the side and rose from his chair. He buttoned his suit jacket as he stepped closer to Collins with a courteous nod.

Her jaw clacked shut as she realized she had been staring and she hurried forward herself.

“Oh, excuse me. I didn’t realize there was someone in here. Are you a guest of Mister Stark’s?” she said breathlessly, trying to compose herself. She was no longer used to being charmed by handsome men after so many Stark Parties, but this one had stolen her breath away in an instant. Collins felt caught off guard.

“A guest?” he chuckled with a small grin. The laugh lines around his eyes crinkled attractively. “I suppose you could say that. I’m afraid we haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet.”

“I’m Collins Cunningham, Miss Potts’ assistant. I haven’t heard any news about a guest in the Tower, Mister…” Collins offered the man a polite smile of her own and her hand.

“Cooper. Damos Cooper.”

“Mister Cooper.”

He caught her off guard yet again when he accepted her hand, turning her wrist gently and lifting her knuckles to his lips. His hand was cool and smooth. There was a hint of calluses there to suggest he worked with his hands and Collins felt a brief flash of panic at the thought of her own hand being sweaty with nerves.

She was glad she always took her grandmother’s advice to dab perfume on her wrists in a case such as this.

“It is an honor to make the acquaintance of a lady as lovely as yourself, my dear.”

“O-oh! Um, the pleasure is all mine…” Collins stuttered, a pink blush spreading down her throat. She cleared her throat in an attempt to regain some composure. “I hope you don’t mind, but I have to double check your clearance with JARVIS. It’s a safety precaution we all have to go through. You understand, yes?”

She firmed her voice and frowned as she met his eye. Stark Industries and the household itself had been through too much in recent years for anyone to take chances with strangers. No one wanted to move again because of another explosion.

“Of course, you can’t have anyone just wandering in off the street here.” Mister Cooper smiled benevolently and released her hand. He took a step back and held out an arm to usher her further into the room.

“I appreciate your understanding.” Collins nodded in appreciation and glanced up at the ceiling. “JARVIS, confirmation of identity, please?”

The AI didn’t respond.

“... JARVIS?” she tried again. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. Collins glanced over at Mister Cooper suspiciously. Her fingers lingered over the wristwatch she wore. There was a taser feature hidden in the Stark Tech that might give her time to get away if she required it.

Mister Cooper glanced at the ceiling as well. He raised his eyebrows and turned to Collins with interest.

She couldn’t get a read on him and clenched her jaw to hide a frown. He had the innocent look down pat if he was involved in JARVIS’ silence.

“My apologies, Miss Cunningham.” JARVIS’ cool tone sounded around them. Some of the tension released from Collins’ shoulders. “Mister Cooper is indeed a guest of Mister Stark’s. He has access to the amenities in the living quarters.”

Collins smiled at the ceiling despite knowing that the AI wasn’t located there. It was more of a habit than anything. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Miss Cunningham.”

“Well, Mister Cooper,” Collins breathed deeply and smiled again. “Like I said - I’m Miss Potts’ personal assistant and part of that extends to managing some of the Avengers’ needs. As Mister Stark’s guest and a guest of the Tower, I’d like to also extend those services to you. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to make your stay with us more pleasant.”

“My dear, you have already made my stay more pleasant by being here.” Mister Cooper’s eyes crinkled at the corners again. He stepped closer with an inclination of his head and leaned closer like he was divulging a secret. “I’m afraid the company I’ve been subjected to so far has been less than… courteous.”

“Oh, my.” Collins squeaked and felt like she could kick herself for it. She was no simpering college student anymore. She tried her best to meet that luminous green gaze head on. “You flatter me, sir. But I’m sorry to hear your stay has been lacking. I could speak to someone and see if there’s been some misunderstandings from your hosts?”

It was concerning to hear that a guest of Mister Stark’s was finding their stay disagreeable. Most guests in the Tower were usually close to Tony Stark himself. Collins wasn’t sure what the relationship between the two was, but JARVIS had confirmed that Mister Cooper was a guest with access to the comforts of home, as were the Avengers. That had to count for something.

Mister Cooper grinned and moved to speak again, but was cut off before he could speak.

Collins heard the elevator open and a burst of noise accompanied it.

She smiled at the familiar voice and stepped away from Mister Cooper to turn to greet their arrivals.

“Hey, Eliza Doolittle! Good to see you back!” Mister Stark exclaimed joyfully as he strode into the room, a tall blonde at his side that wasn’t Pepper for once. He raised his brows at the sight of Mister Cooper at her back and his smile became a bit fixed.

Collins blinked in surprise and resisted the urge to look over her shoulder at the man.

Perhaps they weren’t friends after all.

“Mister Stark. It’s good to be back. Your investors are stubborn and are terrible company.” She teased and moved forward to accept a hug when he opened his arms to her.

Collins was no stranger to Mister Stark’s reputation as a womanizer. Yet, she had spent enough time with him and Pepper to know the man was gone for his CEO. She had been there for the aftermath of the Battle of New York and the disastrous Christmas with the Mandarin, though she had been on leave for the majority of the latter. Her mother had nearly been destroyed by the news over the attack on the Malibu mansion. She begged Collins to find a new job, but Collins was quick to return to Pepper’s side to help her recover from the ordeal.

Pepper was like family and Collins considered Mister Stark a brother-in-law she approved of and treated him as such. The company may have his name, but she didn’t work for him.

Besides, he could have been her father with their similar features and the age gap between them.

Mister Stark flirting with her was unthinkable.

“Why do you think I stepped back and let Pepper take over? She’s better at handling those blockheads anyway.” Mister Stark patted her on the back. He threw an arm over her shoulder and dragged her around to face the blond he came with. “Have you met Point Break here? He’s new to town!”

“Hello, Mister Thor.” Collins smiled sweetly and offered the man her hand. He seemed familiar enough with Earth and American customs and shook it easily. “It’s nice to meet you. It seems like Mister Stark’s already got you settled in if he’s giving out nicknames.”

Thor grinned down at her, looking like sunshine personified. His eyes were the bluest she’d ever seen and he had masses of golden blond hair and more muscles than she had ever seen on a person.

And she grew up with country boys.

It was no wonder he was popular with the ladies.

“Then can I assume, Doolittle isn’t your true name, my lady?”

“It’s a joke Mister Stark thinks is clever.” She threw Mister Stark a pointed look that he ignored. “Collins Cunningham, at your service. Please let me know if Mister Stark becomes too troublesome for you and I’ll let Miss Potts know - he’s afraid of her. That goes for you too, Mister Cooper.”

She smiled over her shoulder at Mister Cooper, but faltered when she saw his expression had closed off and become cold. The lines in his face had smoothed out and left him like marble, his skin pale enough to render him a statue as he watched their little group.

Even the green of his eyes seemed darker and less welcoming.

“Cooper…” Mister Stark stared at the man like he was a snake in his bed. He frowned and tugged Collins closer. He turned to her, pouting. “I am not afraid of Pepper! I just have some common sense.”

“Now that is a surprise.” she said dryly.

“You hurt me, Doolittle!” Mister Stark claimed dramatically and laid a hand over his arc reactor. He threw a nasty look at Mister Collins. “Anyway, Rock of Ages, don’t you have anything better to do than harass my employees?”

Collins gaped at the blatant animosity radiating off of the man. Thor looked similarly discomforted and was watching Mister Cooper closely.

Mister Cooper himself looked tense. A muscle in his sharp jaw clenched and he crossed his arms defensively.

“He hasn’t been a bother at all-” Collins tried to protest. Now she understood why Mister Cooper was displeased with his stay.

He cut her off with a glance, the ice in his eyes startling.

“It’s quite alright, Miss Cunningham.” Mister Cooper simpered. His face twisted into a smile of contempt. “I don’t care much for Stark’s company.”

Collins watched with dismay as Mister Cooper nodded at her cordially. He turned without a backwards glance to leave the room, moving like a predator. He stalked away with quick, rolling strides and took the warm atmosphere of the room with him.

“Lady Cunningham.” Thor cleared his throat and offered Collins a nod as well. “No worries, I shall see to… Mister Cooper. Farewell.”

Collins brow furrowed.

Why did they say his name like that?

“Oh, good-bye then, Mister Thor.” she offered awkwardly.

He seemed to sympathize with her and gave her a pitying look. “Just Thor, my lady.”

“Then you can call me Collins.”

“Lady Collins.”

Collins couldn’t help a quiet laugh at his stubbornness. “Close enough, I suppose.”

She watched him go silently before slipping out from beneath Mister Stark’s arm. She gave him a look of concern and nodded after their guests.

“Mister Stark, is everything alright here?”

“As well as it can be with an alien in the house!” Mister Stark exclaimed after a moment of hesitation. He ushered her towards the elevator and that wonderful cityscape she had been admiring moments before. “But anyway, kiddo, I’m sure there’s been some paperwork piling up while you and Pep have been outta town. Anything need my signature? I’ve got some spare time on my hands since Cap’s looking for me and I gotta say, I’d rather waste time on filing than listening to him drone on and on.”

Collins nearly tripped over her own feet. She didn’t know what was more surprising.

The fact that they had a literal historical artifact living in the building or Mister Stark’s sudden urge to actually do work outside of his lab?

She wondered if he’d hit his head on a mission.

“Captain America is staying in the Tower now, too? You oughta warn a girl first, Mister Stark.” Collins tried to joke. She worried that she’d run into the Captain and be unable to resist the urge to salute. Or groan in despair at the memory of all the videos she’d been subjected to throughout her school years.

“I didn’t send a memo? Ah, well I can tell you all about it while we head over to your office. Is Pepper in today?” Mister Stark asked lightly.

Collins looked at him with bewilderment.

He was acting off-kilter. Pepper had called him that morning about some documents. That aside, she was his girlfriend - he was terrible about bugging her throughout the day in an attempt to distract her into giving him attention.

He was like a cat in that regard.

“She is.” They reached the elevator and Collins watched Mister Stark as he hit the call button. She couldn’t hold her curiosity any longer. “…if you don’t mind my asking, is Mister Cooper a friend of yours or a business guest of sorts? You rarely have company outside of Mister Rhodes. I don’t want to overstep with Mister Cooper if that’s the case.”

“He’s a pain in the ass.” Mister Stark said tersely. “But I’m doing a favor for a friend, which means putting up with him. He usually keeps to his own room, which makes it a little easier.”

“I take it y’all don’t get along.” she murmured, her brow creasing.

She wondered what Mister Cooper had done to get on his bad side and who the favor was for if the man was still allowed to stay in the Tower.

“That’s an understatement. If he had the chance, he’d throw me out the window every time I pissed him off.” Mister Stark’s mouth twitched and he seemed unable to decide if he’d rather frown or smile.

Collins felt like she might be missing some inside joke.

“Remind me not to ask.” She sighed and followed Mister Stark into the elevator when it arrived. She looked at the ceiling again. “JARVIS, Floor 82, please.”

“Of course, Miss Cunningham.” The AI responded immediately this time.

Whatever Mister Stark’s issue with Mister Cooper, it wouldn’t matter in the end to her. Collins was sure the latter would be gone before long and she would never see him again. Considering he hadn’t been introduced as anything more than a personal guest, Collins doubted Mister Cooper had business dealings with Stark Industries. She wouldn’t count on seeing him on the Avengers’ floors or any of the business floors again.

Still, she thought wistfully, he was rather handsome. She certainly wouldn’t mind seeing him again.

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