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#6x07 awake
dinneratgrannys · 1 month
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ONCE UPON A TIME REWATCH: 6.07, AWAKE That's just you all over, isn't it? Afraid of failing. That's worse than being evil - that's just being too weak to be good.
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In light of this episode and my inability to resist temptation... what if Eddie found out about Buck's little predicament? Shameless smut, that's what if. Feel free to blame @extasiswings, I know I do.
6x07 coda/alternate scene.
Eddie was sure, at this time of night, he’d be the only one awake. Everyone’s asleep in the bunkroom, or so he thought until he emerges from the bathroom and heads up the stairs to settle an unusually demanding stomach.
The only light is the small lamp by the couch, and he figures someone just forgot to turn it off until he hits the landing and hears the slow, desperate whine and freezes.
Buck is on the couch, or rather, he’s spread out on his stomach on the couch. His hips move restlessly against the cushions, his lip caught between his teeth, his face flushed.
Eddie should move. He should say something. He should do anything other than continue to stand here, frozen, heat sliding down his spine as Buck whispers yeah, yeah, yeah and slides his hand in between his body and the couch, hips moving faster—
And then Buck stiffens and shakes, mouth falling open.
Eddie knows that movement. He’s done it himself, when he’d be alone in bed at night, stroking his cock, and thoughts of Buck would filter in. He’d squeeze the base of his cock viciously, cutting himself off, trying desperately to wean himself away from what felt like a betrayal.
He no longer feels that way. He lets himself think about Buck. He knows it’s all right. Hopes, even, that soon it won’t be a lonely fantasy but a reality.
The question right now, though, is—why the fuck is Buck doing this here, now?
“Y’know,” Eddie comments, “you’re lucky I’m not someone else. I think Chim would blind himself.”
Buck jumps to his feet like the couch is on fire. Oh fuck, his pants are tenting obscenely. Eddie wants to suck him through the fabric. “I—I’m—”
“You don’t have to explain what you’re doing. I’m just confused why you’re doing it here.”
Buck’s face flushes and a small, helpless noise escapes him before he begins to pace. “Because I can’t—I can’t fucking help it. I know, I know it just makes it worse to start and not finish but I can’t make myself stop, either. It’s been four weeks and I tried going today and—”
“You ever heard of putting the cart before the horse?” Eddie holds up a hand. “What do you mean, it’s been four weeks? Four weeks of what?”
“Celibacy,” Buck snaps.
Eddie blinks. “Even with yourself?”
“Yes.”
“Buck, No Nut November started last week. Not four weeks.”
“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Buck runs a hand through his hair. “It’s—it’s not some challenge or something. I was supposed to have this taken care of a few weeks ago.”
“What, a weird dare with yourself?”
“The donation,” Buck replies.
That brings Eddie up short. He crosses the space, something in Buck’s face open and raw and making him want to comfort, to hold—
Buck turns away and addresses the brick wall. “The, uh, sperm donation. You know Connor? The guy I met in Peru?”
“…yeah.” Eddie remembers Connor, all right. Like he was going to forget the person who fucked Buck so silly he followed him from Peru to Los Angeles.
He doesn’t generally like to think of himself prone to envy, but in those moments, he’d been greener than goddamn Astroturf.
“He—we caught up, and I met his wife, Kameron, and they—they can’t get pregnant. So he asked if I’d be willing to—uh—contribute his part of the equation.”
He can feel his eyebrows climbing. “And you said yes?”
Buck nods.
“And how does this translate to…” He has questions, a lot of them, but first he needs to address the bulge in Buck’s pants before he does something stupid like try to choke himself on it.
Buck turns to finally look at him again, leaning back against the wall. “I had an appointment to go to the clinic, use the cup, the whole thing, and every single time something’s gone wrong and I can’t do it. And I’m—I’m doing everything I can to give them their best chance, y’know?”
“That’s what the juices are for.”
Buck nods.
“And part of this is… refusing to finish?”
“I want to go in with a full tank of swimmers, y’know?”
Eddie almost laughs, but he has a feeling Buck would die instantly of embarrassment. “That’s not how it works, Buck.”
“It—” Buck’s voice cracks a little as he stammers. “It’s not?”
Eddie shakes his head. “That’s just an old wives’ tale. You can finish anytime you want.”
Buck’s throat bobs as he swallows. “Yeah?”
Eddie inhales. It feels like fire. “You could finish right now.”
Buck’s tongue darts out over his bottom lip. “Yeah?”
It’s not the first time Eddie’s looked at Buck like this. It’s not even the first time he’s looked at Buck like this and let Buck see it. It’s been a slow process, relaxing, letting Buck see everything he feels, everything he wants. But now, it’s almost easy—easy to take a long, slow look that drags down Buck’s body, easy to let his teeth scrape over his bottom lip, easy to let his gaze linger between Buck’s legs before sliding it back up again to Buck’s face.
“I could help.” He pauses. “If you wanted.”
He wants to help. He wants so fucking badly his mouth is watering with it.
Buck nods a fraction of an inch, like he’s worried if he’s too enthusiastic that Eddie will change his mind. “Yeah. Yeah I—please.”
He takes a step forward. Buck holds. “Are you sure?”
Buck’s nod is a little more forceful this time. Eddie dares another step. There’s barely an inch between them now and his entire body feels like it’s stuck in a light socket, tingling and immaterial.
He leans in and ghosts his lips across the curve of Buck’s jaw. His fingers brush against the bulge in Buck’s pants and he can practically taste the whimper that Buck lets out. Buck’s entire body shudders, starting in his toes and working its way up.
“Eddie…” It’s barely a whisper. “Pl—”
Eddie’s not sure if this makes him a greedy man or not, but he doesn’t wait for Buck to finish the word. He seals their mouths together, swallowing the rest of it.
Buck’s hands clamp around his shoulders, his fingers digging in tight. He’s practically vibrating. When Eddie finishes fumbling with Buck’s pants and gets his hand around Buck’s cock, Buck whines and bites down hard on Eddie’s lip.
Fuck, he’s thick, and Eddie can feel heat pool in his own cock, making his pants tight. He strokes Buck slowly, his hand instantly becoming slick. “Oh, fuck, sweetheart, you really are desperate.”
Buck gasps and shudders, arching subtly up into Eddie’s hand. Eddie kisses him again, the kind of deep, sucking kiss he’s imagined giving Buck when they wake up in the morning, legs tangled, sheets half off the bed. He didn’t mean for the endearment to slip out, but Buck isn’t objecting. He keeps his strokes nice and slow, from base to tip. “So wet…”
Buck’s head falls back and Eddie happily drags his mouth over the smooth column of his neck. “I… I’m…”
“Shh, it’s okay.” Eddie swipes his thumb over the head, loving the way Buck’s hips twitch. “I’ve got you.”
Buck gasps, rising up onto his toes as Eddie speeds up. Eddie can feel Buck’s pulse jumping under his lips, can smell traces of Buck’s coconut shampoo and taste his sweat. It’s making him lightheaded, the fact that this is all real, that this is actually happening.
“Eddie…” Buck’s voice is high pitched and reedy. “I’m… hhnngghh…”
“That’s it.” He speeds up even more, keeping his grip nice and tight the way he likes it. He’s never done this on another guy before but following what he enjoys seems to be working. Although he suspects a stiff breeze would do it for Buck at this point. “You’re so pent up, it’s okay, you can let it all go. I want you to do it, I want you to come for me, come all over my hand.”
His teeth scrape over Buck’s skin. He wonders… “Come for me, sweetheart.”
Buck chokes on a moan, his fingers bruise-tight on Eddie’s arms, and he spills all over Eddie’s knuckles, thick and hot and—
Eddie shivers. “You always come this much?”
Buck whimpers and nods.
Jesus Christ. “I’m going to get you into my bed and I’m not letting you out for a week.”
“That works for me,” Buck pants. “Seeing as my appointment’s not for another week now.”
“Being called a pet name really does it for you, huh?”
Buck’s face goes pink and he looks shy, his shoulders hunching a bit.
“Hey, hey.” Eddie’s sick of people training Buck to think wanting affection is asking for too much. He catches Buck’s chin between his fingers. “I like it.”
His thumb runs over Buck’s lower lip. Buck’s tongue darts out, wetting the pad of it. “Yeah?”
Eddie nods and pulls his hand out of Buck’s pants. Fuck, where are the tissues…
Buck grabs his wrist and pulls Eddie’s fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean.
Eddie’s cock practically sits up and begs like a dog. Buck looks at him through his lashes, purposefully coy.
Eddie has to swallow a few times before he can get any words out, as Buck’s tongue moves down to get his palm. “Yeah, sweetheart, get me nice and clean.”
Buck shivers. “I want…”
He reaches down between them and cups Eddie through his pants. He massages a little, and oh fuck that’s tempting.
“Not yet.” Buck’s not the only one who can wait. “I think I can stick it out until after the shift.”
“But you don’t have to stick it out…”
Buck’s mouth on his is very persuasive, but. “It’s worth it, if it means you fuck me later.”
“Fuck.” Buck’s head drops to Eddie’s shoulder. “Yeah, yeah I can—I can do that. We can—we can go to my place—”
“I was thinking mine.”
“Chris…”
“Will be at school. And besides.” Eddie coaxes Buck’s face up. “I’m the one with the couch.”
He doesn’t see Buck’s smile, since his eyes are closed, but that’s fine. He can feel it against his mouth as they kiss.
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deluweil · 1 year
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I know, "Recovery", will be at the Diaz household. How?
Well for one, Buck does not yet have a couch.
Two, I doubt either Eddie or Christopher will want to let Buck out of their sights after everything.
Also, the Madney household is not done, plus there's a sweet but restless toddler running around the house. 😍
And since this storyline is awfully familiar to me (station 19 - Vic, anyone? 👀) Buck is going to be wearing a monitor watch to make sure his heart is not in distress, which also will have to include a lot of rest and require to have someone to watch out over him. (In Station 19, they were Vic's boyfriend and her best friend. - Eddie and Christopher for Buck? 👀😉)
Also, because there is a very big foreshadowing that has announced exactly that earlier in the season.
I am talking about 6x07 "Cursed."
The undefined relationship between Felisa and Alexis (aside from the money thing, obviously) felt very familiar.
Felisa stresses outside the crystal shop (where both she and Alexis are knocked out, btw) that Alexis is all she has.
Eddie's face says it all. He has one of those, and indeed, in the next frame, we see Buck loading Alexis to the second ambulance.
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She sits with her in the hospital after she's released and talks to her, suggesting a girls' trip once she's better. - Eddie is a spectator through all of this. And he gets this amazingly tender look on his face when he listens to Felisa as she talks to unconscious Alexis.
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Fast forward to the end of the episode, Felisa tells Eddie that Alexis is going to stay with her when she gets out of the hospital.
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and eventually tells him that she's going to have the house blessed just in case, before Alexis comes to stay with her.
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Another thing she says is that it's easier to believe you're cursed than wrong, and post-therapy Diaz is amused by it.
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And yet he still calls his Abuela after Felisa leaves and asks her about his future anyway.
Here, in this frame, everyone thought, at the time, that the focus on Christopher a frame later is because he will be in danger, but the truth is, that the whole of S6a even stretching back to S5b, is about Buck's connection to the Diaz boys.
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And as most of you saw the promo pic of 6x11, it also confirms that the Diazes are going to pull Buck even closer to them once he's awake and out of the hospital.
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For all his bluster and disbelief of curses in general, when Buck asks Eddie outside the crystal shop if he still thinks Felisa isn't cursed, he answers, "No, but I think I am."
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Now, why would he say that? Because Eddie lost his wife, lost his army buddies, nearly lost his son and best friend, and nearly lost himself somewhere along the way.
He also keeps encountering couples in the making that will eventually end up together, there were the ladies from the driver's test in S5, there were Josh and Carson, now Felisa and Alexis, everyone eventually pretty much get over the first encounter and move forward together. - But not Eddie, not with Buck, not yet.
If there was ever a catalyst to get these two to, at least, talk about their shared trauma and living together in the same house, this is it.
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A list of things that should be proof of buddie and would be if one of them wasn't a guy Season 6A
In case you didn't see, i've skipped season 5 cause i don't have access to it so here's season 6
Season 6
6x01
Eddie and Chris are just hanging out with buck while he makes them dinner. very domestic
that look that Eddie give Buck. he is so in love
~the couch metaphor~
Eddie gazing fondly at buck as he threatens to saw the car apart. like is is just so fond.
nothing in 6x02, 6x03
6x04
Buddie silent communication at the madly-in-love park ranger
"Buck! Where the hell are you going?!"
Bicycle by Queen is a very bisexual song :)
BUCK YOU ARE ALREADY A DAD!!!
nothing in 6x05, 6x06, 6x07, 6x08
6x09
Buck and Eddie the exasperated work husbands (looking for the severed hand's owner)
also the song's lyrics
"not it" "argh"
I don't fully agree with this one but everyone keeps saying it so both them averting their gaze from the sleep driver. I think it's just them being polite
the look Eddie gives Buck really says ur an idiot (affectionate)
Eddie saved a seat next to him for Buck and having hot chocolate ready for him
"Would you prefer an announcement?" "I would"
"lemme grab eddie" he just knows that eddie is awake. they must have been talking or something because eddie wasn't worried when he got the call
eddie is thinking thoughts during the conference call. no idea what those are but he definitely thinks buck is making the wrong decision *more conspiratorial whispering* its because you are already a dad you idiot (affectionate)
tada! that's actually all for now. well until march at least. I'll make a master list at some point or another and if i somehow manage to find a way to watch season 5, i'll do that. but there is no way I'm paying like $30 for one season.
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intothewickedwood · 2 years
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Once Upon A Time Rewatch: Links to My Recaps
So, I finished 3 year long rewatch of ouat & ouatiw a few weeks ago and I thought I’d post links to my live reaction posts of each episode. If anyone’s interested in anything specific you can find it here. It’s also just to have them all in one place. I would love to see your comments about the episodes or in regards to any questions I raised, or anything really if you would like to add anything! I’d love to talk Ouat with you!
All Episodes Tag
Chronological Order | Last To First Order
Season One
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1x01 Pilot | 1x02 The Thing You Love Most | 1x03 Snow Falls | 1x04 The Price of Gold | 1x05 That Still Small Voice | 1x06 The Shepherd | 1x07 The Heart is a Lonely Hunter | 1x08 Desperate Souls | 1x09 True North | 1x10 7:15 A.M. | 1x11 Fruit of the Poisonous Tree | 1x12 Skin Deep | 1x13 What Happened to Frederick | 1x14 Dreamy | 1x15 Red-Handed | 1x16 Heart of Darkness | 1x17 Hat Trick | 1x18 The Stable Boy | 1x19 The Return | 1x20 The Stranger | 1x21 An Apple Red as Blood | 1x22 A Land Without Magic
Season Two
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2x01 Broken | 2x02 We Are Both | 2x03 Lady of the Lake | 2x04 The Crocodile | 2x05 The Doctor | 2x06 Tallahassee | 2x07 Child of the Moon | 2x08 Into the Deep | 2x09 Queen of Hearts | 2x10 The Cricket Game | 2x11 The Outsider | 2x12 In the Name of the Brother | 2x13 Tiny | 2x14 Manhattan | 2x15 The Queen is Dead | 2x16 The Miller's Daughter | 2x17 Welcome to Storybrooke | 2x18 Selfless, Brave and True | 2x19 Lacey | 2x20 The Evil Queen | 2x21 Second Star to the Right | 2x22 And Straight on 'til Morning
Season Three
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3x01 The Heart of the Truest Believer | 3x02 Lost Girl | 3x03 Quite a Common Fairy | 3x04 Nasty Habits | 3x05 Good Form | 3x06 Ariel | 3x07 Dark Hollow | 3x08 Think Lovely Thoughts | 3x09 Save Henry | 3x10 The New Neverland | 3x11 Going Home | 3x12 New York City Serenade | 3x13 Witch Hunt | 3x14 The Tower | 3x15 Quiet Minds | 3x16 It's Not Easy Being Green | 3x17 The Jolly Roger | 3x18 Bleeding Through | 3x19 A Curious Thing | 3x20 Kansas | 3x21 Snow Drifts | 3x22 There's No Place Like Home
Season Four
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4x01 A Tale of Two Sisters | 4x02 White Out | 4x03 Rocky Road | 4x04 The Apprentice | 4x05 Breaking Glass | 4x06 Family Business | 4x07 The Snow Queen | 4x08 Smash the Mirror, Part 1 | 4x08 Smash the Mirror, Part 2 | 4x09 Fall | 4x10 Shattered Sight | 4x11 Heroes and Villains | 4x12 Darkness on the Edge of Town | 4x13 Unforgiven | 4x14 Enter the Dragon | 4x15 Poor Unfortunate Soul | 4x16 Best Laid Plans | 4x17 Heart of Gold | 4x18 Sympathy for the De Vil | 4x19 Lily | 4x20 Mother | 4x21 Operation Mongoose, Part 1 | 4x22 Operation Mongoose, Part 2
Season Five
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5x01 The Dark Swan | 5x02 The Price | 5x03 Siege Perilous | 5x04 The Broken Kingdom | 5x05 Dreamcatcher | 5x06 The Bear and the Bow | 5x07 Nimue | 5x08 Birth | 5x09 The Bear King | 5x10 Broken Heart | 5x11 Swan Song | 5x12 Souls of the Departed | 5x13 Labor of Love | 5x14 Devil's Due | 5x15 The Brothers Jones | 5x16 Our Decay | 5x17 Her Handsome Hero | 5x18 Ruby Slippers | 5x19 Sisters | 5x20 Firebird | 5x21 Last Rites | 5x22 Only You | 5x23  An Untold Story
Season Six
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6x01 The Savior | 6x02 Bitter Draught | 6x03 The Other Shoe | 6x04 Strange Case | 6x05 Street Rats | 6x06 Dark Waters | 6x07 Heartless | 6x08 I'll Be Your Mirror | 6x09 Changelings | 6x10 Wish You Were Here | 6x11 Tougher Than the Rest | 6x12 Murder Most Foul | 6x13 Ill-Boding Patterns | 6x14 Page 23 | 6x15 A Wondrous Place | 6x16 Mother's Little Helper | 6x17 Awake | 6x18 Where Bluebirds Fly | 6x19 The Black Fairy | 6x20 The Song in Your Heart | 6x21 The Final Battle, Part 1 | 6x22 The Final Battle, Part 2
Season Seven
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7x01 Hyperion Heights | 7x02 A Pirate's Life | 7x03 The Garden of Forking Paths | 7x04 Beauty | 7x05 Greenbacks | 7x06 Wake Up Call | 7x07 Eloise Gardener | 7x08 Pretty in Blue | 7x09 One Little Tear | 7x10 The Eighth Witch | 7x11 Secret Garden | 7x12 Taste of the Heights | 7x13 Knightfall | 7x14 The Girl in the Tower | 7x15 Sisterhood | 7x16 Breadcrumbs | 7x17 Chosen | 7x18 The Guardian | 7x19 Flower Child | 7x20 Is This Henry Mills? | 7x21 Homecoming | 7x22 Leaving Storybrooke
Once Upon A Time In Wonderland
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1x01 Down the Rabbit Hole | 1x02 Trust Me | 1x03 Forget Me Not | 1x04 The Serpent | 1x05 Heart of Stone | 1x06 Who's Alice | 1x07 Bad Blood | 1x08 Home | 1x09 Nothing to Fear | 1x10 Dirty Little Secrets | 1x11 Heart of the Matter | 1x12 To Catch a Thief | 1x13 And They Lived…
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orarewedancer · 5 years
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Can’t stay awake till 2am to live-blog The 100 tonight since I need to wake up for a 12 hour shift starting at 7:30am so instead I’m setting my alarm for 5am and watching the new episode is going to be the very first thing I do tomorrow
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nightsidemelody · 3 years
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picard claiming riker is his dad and hugging him i am screaming
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lgbtqlegends · 3 years
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avalance 6x07 reunion headcanons
based off of this post that i made last night at like 2 or 3AM lmao because now i can't stop thinking about it (this is just How my brain works lmao i can do nothing to stop it)
ava picks up on most of sara's subtle little tells and she knows that sara's holding in a lot of emotion, she can see it in her eyes and in the way she acts, she can hear it in the way she talks. ava knows that sara will talk to her at some point though, when she's ready, so she doesn't say anything while they lay there in bed together. instead she just presses a kiss to sara's temple and keeps her hand pressed to sara's chest, thumb rubbing gently while she revels in the relief of having sara back, alive and by her side again
she has no idea what sara might've gone through while she was in space, but she knows it couldn't have been Easy at all, so she takes the time to be just as soft and gentle, especially since she can see the intense emotion in sara's eyes (and also, like, she just. missed sara a lot and she's still kind of overwhelmed so she just wants to be soft and gentle)
they make a bit of small talk while they get ready to go surprise the rest of the team, but not a lot because they're both kinda lost in their own thoughts and it's hard to find many words to say when they're both so overwhelmed and relieved. ava finds herself constantly looking over at sara, just to make sure that she's still there and that she hasn't disappeared again. at one point she just. Needs to hug sara again so she walks over and pulls her into her arms and sara kinda just readily falls into her again. she leans her head against ava's chest, directly over her heart so she can feel it beating and hear the steady thump thump right against her ear. she lets go of her emotions for a minute, but not any longer than that, just enough to squeeze ava tight while a single tear slips out, and then she pulls herself together again because she won't let herself cry yet, not when they're about to join the rest of the team
they go and take their showers, and sara goes first because she's covered in dirt and maybe a little blood and she just really wants to get cleaned up (and also, okay, maybe she just needs a minute too. she hasn't really had the time to be able to process anything and she just. she can feel everything weighing on her in the back of her mind and she just needs a second to come to terms with everything, at least for the moment. at least enough for her to be okay to propose)
ava goes after and she tries to be as quick as possible while also still trying to give sara a bit more time to herself, because she could see it in her eyes that there was something sara was struggling with, something weighing on her mind. when she gets back to the room, sara's barely done much else in terms of getting ready, she's just standing in front of the mirror, lost in thought. ava goes and wraps her arms around sara's waist from behind, presses her lips first to sara's temple, then her cheek, then her neck, and sara reaches her hand up to interlock her fingers with ava's, their hands settled against her ribcage. she squeezes tightly, and they stay like that for a minute, until sara takes a deep breath and turns to finish getting ready
they're so tired by the time they get back to the waverider that as soon as they're in pajamas (and of course, sara stole some of ava's clothes to sleep in because it's an added layer of comfort and safety and home and sara desperately wants to feel as much of that as she can), they fall straight into bed and snuggle up under the covers
they don't fall asleep right away. despite how tired they are, neither of them can. so they stay up, wrapped completely in each other's arms and talking quietly, or sometimes not talking at all because the words are too hard to find. they both finally let themselves Feel everything in full, so there's a lot of time spent crying together and kissing in between small sobs. sara has her face hidden in ava's neck a lot, because she's finally allowing herself to let go of everything she's felt since she was abducted and it's just. it's a lot, even for her, but she's so glad to be back with ava, and despite the fact that there's a seemingly endless stream of tears rolling down her cheeks, she feels oddly calm and at peace, in their room, in their bed, surrounded by all their things, and most importantly, laying in ava's arms, completely encompassed by the feelings of, and the scent (ava's) with which she associates, safety and comfort and home
eventually they both fall quiet, content enough to just lay there with each other, listening to the soft sounds of each other breathing and feeling each other's arms wrapped around them, and it's nice. it's calm and it's peaceful and everything is finally starting to feel okay again. sara's very close to finally falling asleep (ava's not quite there yet, but she knows sara is, so she helps her along a bit by tracing patterns on her back and massaging her scalp, because she kinda really just needs to lay there awake for a little while, watching sara sleep, just to fully know that sara's there and that she isn't going anywhere). sara snuggles closer and hums softly, sleepy and content, and she whispers "you're my home" to ava right before she falls asleep. ava joins her soon after, staying awake just long enough to watch her for a few minutes, to make sure she's fast asleep and peaceful, and then to pull her just that little bit closer, to press one more kiss to her head and to whisper into the quiet of the room that she loves her, so much, and then she's joining her girl— her fiancée, she thinks with a smile, under the warm blanket of sleep.
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unfolded73 · 4 years
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Every Night (1/1) - schitt’s creek ff
Reaction fic to 6x07. Basically it’s the last scene from Patrick’s POV. Rated Teen, 1500 words. (AO3)
Other Season 6 reaction fics: 6x01, 6x02, 6x04, 6x06
___________________________
Mom: Dad is asking if you watched the game earlier.
Patrick adjusted his back against the uncomfortable headboard of David’s twin bed as he looked at the text notification on his phone. His dad hated texting, but he wasn’t above asking his wife questions for Patrick, which she then relayed to him through text. His thumbs moved over the screen as he answered.
Yeah. Amazing rally!
After a few seconds during which he listened to Alexis’ slightly manic magazine page flipping, he added.
Watched it with David’s dad.
Mom: Oh, that’s nice! Is he a Jays fan?
Patrick: I don’t think he follows it closely. He wanted to give me a talking to, and watching the game with me was a means to that end.
Adjusting his back against the headboard again, Patrick looked down at his pillow options. Leaving the bed pillow on David’s side (as if this tiny bed could have ‘sides’), Patrick picked up the decorative pillow and braced it behind his neck.
Mom: Uh oh.
David shuffled out of the bathroom, drinking from the water bottle that Patrick had forced into his hands on the way home from the winery. David hadn’t spent nearly as long on his nighttime skincare routine as he usually did, which was as big a sign as any that he was still feeling the affects of his fruit wine odyssey, even if he had sobered up enough not to press any more enthusiastic, sloppy kisses against Patrick’s mouth like he was an untrained puppy.
“How was your class, Alexis?” David asked. He sounded almost genuinely curious, which Patrick found interesting given David’s terrible acting earlier during Mrs. Rose’s mission to extract him from having to watch baseball. Maybe he was more accustomed to playing these games with his sister.
“Um, it was a big success; thank you for asking!” Alexis said, sounding way too chipper. “Everyone had a great time, and the clients were like, super impressed.”
“Oh, that’s good,” David said as he climbed into bed. Patrick felt David’s bare toes drag against his shin as he tried to focus on responding to his mother’s text.
No, it wasn’t a bad thing. We sort of bonded, I guess.
“I wonder if that means they’ll give you priority boarding when you enter the Gateway,” David continued, calling Alexis’ bluff.
Looking at the three dots on his phone as his mother texted him back, Patrick didn’t watch Alexis’ reaction, but he heard the flapping of her magazine. “Oh my god — Stevie did this, didn’t she?”
Stevie had, in fact, given them the entire run down that evening over dinner while Patrick worked to get some food into his drunk fiancé.
Mom: I’m so glad! I could tell when we were there on your birthday how much the Roses love you. All of them, not just David.
“Now, do the step machines actually lift off the ground, or are they just there to help you practice for when you walk onto the spaceship?” David said as he settled in, his hip bumping against Patrick’s under the covers.
“Come on, David, she didn’t know,” Patrick said, feeling some sympathy for Alexis.
“Thank you,” Alexis said.
But not that much sympathy for Alexis. “But now that you do, does it make the journey to the Gateway just that much more meaningful?” he said with his best guileless voice, leaning over to look at his future sister-in-law.
“Okay, you know what? Honestly? This whole situation is starting to gross me out,” Alexis sniped, gesturing at the two of them in bed. “It’s like I’m sharing a room with my twin brothers who kiss.”
Patrick wasn’t sure if he just wanted to troll Alexis more or if hearing the word ‘kiss’ triggered him like some kind of tender sleeper agent, but before he even registered the decision to do so, he’d leaned over and pressed a kiss against David’s forehead, humming with affection as he did so. David’s head was lower on the bed and when he turned, the only part of Patrick that his lips could reach was Patrick’s arm. David pressed a kiss there, and the warmth of David’s lips through the thin material of his t-shirt made Patrick swoon just a little bit.
Mr. Rose came in then, and if he found the tableau of David and Patrick snuggled up in bed to be awkward, he didn’t show it. He just seemed happy to have everyone under the same roof, and that everyone seemed to include Patrick. Mr. Rose grinned, and Patrick could only grin back. Then Mrs. Rose came into the room too, still visibly suffering from her day-drinking binge, and soon she was snuggling up with Alexis, mumbling something about a sleepover. Alexis made a lot of annoyed protestations, even more so when her own father made fun of her for almost joining a cult. It was weird and yet completely domestic at the same time. Patrick felt a bit like he was getting a look at the inner sanctum, at the way the Roses behaved when it was only the four of them. Warm feelings for the family bloomed in his chest.
“So does this happen every night?” Patrick whispered to David.
David turned to him. “Um, no. No it doesn’t,” David responded, but the look on his face told Patrick that wasn’t entirely true. They smiled at each other, and David pressed his face up against Patrick’s arm, and in that moment Patrick loved David so much that he thought his heart was going to explode.
Mr. Rose managed to coax his wife back to bed, closing the door between their rooms. With another annoyed huff, Alexis turned off the lamp and plunged the room into darkness, although a significant amount of light still filtered through the curtains. The Rosebud Motel did not have the kind of blackout curtains that most hotels possessed. Patrick sent a final text to his mother.
Going to sleep now. I’ll call you Sunday.
Mom: Goodnight, sweetheart. And tell David goodnight too. 😉
Patrick squinted at the winking emoji, trying to process the fact that his mother was teasing him about his sleeping arrangements with his fiancé. At least she didn’t use eggplant emojis to do so, like Stevie. Putting his phone on the floor, Patrick scooted down the bed, trying to get comfortable on David’s decorative pillow. “Here, we can share,” David said, adjusting his own bed pillow until it was under both of their heads as the small pillow fell off the edge of the bed.
“Thanks,” Patrick whispered, putting an arm over David’s waist and kissing him gently, a simple press of their lips together.
“I’m sorry I abandoned you today,” David said, his voice equally quiet.
“It was fine. Your dad and I had a good time.” He kissed David again. He knew that if they were back in the bed they usually shared in Patrick’s apartment, he’d be deepening the kiss, pressing David into the mattress until they were both panting and desperate to get their clothes off. As it was, he’d have to settle for a few kisses and for holding David close.
David huffed. “You don’t have to say that.”
“It was.”
“Still,” David said, kissing him back with a matching gentleness. “I don’t want to take you for granted. I love you.”
Patrick moved his hand up to the back of David’s head, fingers combing through the short hair at the nape of his neck. He pulled him closer, mouth opening, because surely a little bit of tongue would be okay. David seemed to think it was okay too from the way he kissed him back.
“Can you two stop, please?” Alexis whispered harshly. “I can hear the smacking noises!”
“Sorry,” Patrick called to Alexis, and then said to David, “I love you, too.”
“Turn over; you can be the little spoon,” David said.
David loved being the little spoon, so much so that there was a mole on David’s shoulder blade where Patrick’s face usually was pressed that Patrick had come to think of as his, he was so well acquainted with it. “You sure?”
David pushed on his arm. “Turn over before I change my mind.”
Patrick did, carefully not to pitch either of them off the edge of the narrow bed. He settled down, his spine pressed against David’s chest, David’s knees against the back of his knees. David wrapped an arm around him, sliding his hand up under Patrick’s shirt to touch bare skin. He felt David kiss the back of his head.
Lying awake for a long time, Patrick imagined all the nights like this they would get to have in the future that stretched out ahead of them. Nights when they held each other to soothe each other’s worries. Nights when one or both of them had had a little too much to drink. Nights when they held each other as an apology after a fight. Nights when they drifted off in post-coital bliss. Nights when the cuddling was a balm to their sadness. Nights when there was too much joy for sleep to come easily.
“I can’t wait for you to be my husband, David,” Patrick whispered, unsure if David was still awake.
An answer came in the press of David’s hand against his chest, right over his heart. “Me neither.”
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My love @thelittlefanpire asked me if I would consider writing a Clarke x Wells scene set during 6x07, as they couldn’t get schedules to work with Eli to shoot one. I weep because I love Wells so much and would’ve sold my soul, but understand. Of course I had to do it! I love Wells with my whole heart and whole ass and whole ass heart. <3
Clarke sprints down the hall of the Eligius ship, the pounding against the metal that falls in line with her heartbeat. It seems like every turn she makes, Josephine is there. She sees the woman’s face everywhere. “Come on, Clarke!” Josephine’s voice echoes through the ship, taunting. It grates against her ears as Clarke runs, her breath hitching. “Stop running! I’m not in the right shoes for this!”
Clarke pushes faster.
Rounding the corner, Clarke nearly misses the turn as she slips against the floor. She rights herself as she pulls into the empty room, ducking in as the second set of footsteps run past. Clarke closes the door behind her quietly, blinking when she sees that her hair is braided behind her back once more. Frowning, Clarke steps inside the room.
She knows this place. There are sparse books lining the walls, and in the center, there’s a table. Chess pieces sit on the game board, all ready for play. Clarke knows that board well. She’s won – and lost – many a game on there, to the point where she knows what the first move would be if her usual opponent were here. Running her hands across the wooden board, Clarke can hear the whispers of the past around her.
“You aren’t starting without me, are you?”
Clarke flinches, jumping away from the board. When a figure steps into view, Clarke sucks in a breath. “Wells,” she breathes, rushing toward him.
Wells wraps his arms around her, Clarke resting her head on his chest. It reminds her of exactly how her last moment with him felt. She can feel his heart beating in his chest, which isn’t possible. “Wells,” Clarke says, her lower lip trembling. “How are you here?”
Wells brushes a strand of her hair away. “I’m here for you, Clarke. Just like everyone here.”
Clarke’s face crumbles. “No, you’re not.” She says. “You were here and you were better than all of us. You wanted everyone to be better. You were better. And you were killed for no reason.”
Wells smiles warmly at her. “Why don’t we sit down, for old time’s sake? Play a game?”
“I-I don’t have time. I can’t—”
“Come on Clarke. Afraid?” When he asks, he sits down on one side of the table. “I understand have you are. I’ve won more times than you have.”
“Only one more time than I have.” Clarke snaps, but she pulls the chair out and sits down.
Wells reaches out and moves one of his center pawns forward, his eyes twinkling. “Somehow, we always end up back here.”
Clarke moves a pawn forward. “Where?”
“You on one side, me on the other.” Wells sighs, moving another piece. “You in isolation, me in the Ark. You on the Ground on one side, me on the other. Me dead, you alive. We were always in different places. Which I don’t understand because we were always in sync when we were on the Ark. You were my best friend. I would’ve done anything for you.”
“You did do everything for me,” Clarke says, eyes dropping to the board. “Until the end.”
Wells laughs, grabbing the bishop and moving it across the board. “Man, you’re getting rusty. And here I thought you were so good at war because of all our chess games. The famous Clarke Griffin, always thinking three steps ahead, right?”
He smiles at her in a way that it hurts her heart. It’s warm and filled with love in a way she hasn’t been looked at by anyone but Bellamy and Madi in such a long time. Her chest aches as his smile grows. Clarke can’t bare it anymore.
“What are you doing here, Wells?” Clarke asks, her eyes watering. “W-Why are you—” Shaking her head, she says, “This is my mind, right? Why are you being so nice to me? Why aren’t you yelling at me? Why aren’t you telling me I killed you?”
Wells looks up from the board at that. “Did you?” He asks.
Clarke cries, “Did I what?”
“Did you kill me?”
Blinking, she says, “I blamed you for my father’s death. I treated you so terribly—”
“That wasn’t my question.” Wells states calmly. “Did you kill me? Did you take the knife and stab me with it?”
“What, no – but—”
“Did you kill Jasper?” Wells asks, folding his hands across the table.
“What? Wells—”
“Did you kill him?”
“If Mount Weather didn’t happen, he wouldn’t have—”
“Did you want Mount Weather to happen?”
“What? Of course not—”
“Did you make Monty and Harper stay awake instead of going to cryo?”
“Wells, what does this have to do with—”
“You carry them around so much.” Wells states, moving a piece on the table. Clarke isn’t sure how it happened, but the board has changed, taken pieces piling on the sides.
“What does this have to do with anything?”
“This has to do with everything, Clarke! Don’t you see?” Wells takes her rook. “You carry all this weight on you, but has anyone ever sat you down and asked you what happened? What really happened? Or do you choose to be the scapegoat because it’s the only way you think they’ll love you?”
Clarke stills. “What?” Her voice cracking.
“Is that what it is, Clarke? You think you’re so unlovable, that the only way they will ever let you be around is if you shoulder the burden? You bear it, so they don’t have to, right?”
“Stop,” Clarke says, blinking so that a few tears fall down her cheeks.
“Because if you didn’t,” Wells continues, taking another piece off the board. “Then you would have to see if they really liked you. Really loved you. Really thought that you were worth the life that you have, over all the people who’ve not made it before you.”
“Wells, stop it—”
“No, I’m not going to stop it. Because you need to hear this, Clarke. You. Are. Enough. I was taken too soon, so I didn’t get to say it to you.” Standing up from his chair, he stands next to her, crossing his arms and looming over him. “And if they say otherwise, fuck ‘em.”
Clarke shakes her head. “All the deaths, I had a hand in—”
“You just think you do. You think that if you take them all, they’ll get to be happy. And maybe they’ll love you. But if they don’t love you, really love you, Clarke Griffin, then they don’t deserve you.” Placing his hand on her shoulder, Wells kneels down so they’re face-to-face. It takes Clarke a moment to bring herself to look at him, but when she does, she sees the face of her best friend. The person she loved the most in the world. “Stop lighting yourself on fire to earn their love. You don’t have to bleed to be worth anything. You are worth something because you are you.”
She crumbles.
Clarke crumbles the way that is unpleasant. A way that is ugly in it breaking. It isn’t like the rain falling or the leaves fluttering to the ground. She crumbles the way the earth did after Praimfaya. Storms and lightning swirling around her until she is nothing more than a collection of dust.
When her cries subside, she looks up at Wells, eyes swollen and red. “What do I do.”
Wells lifts an eyebrow. “You look for the love you deserve.” He stands, managing to take her with him, eyes flicking toward the board.
In the center, the pieces are gone except for two. The King and Queen stand in front of each other, their shadows long and the end of the board.
“Perhaps you’re not as alone as you think you are, Clarke.” Well states.
Clarke stares at the two pieces.
“Does he still call you ‘Princess?’ Because I think you deserve a promotion.”
Taking the King and Queen in her hands, Clarke looks back at her friend.
He’s gone.
She’s in nothing more than a room, a King and Queen in hand, voices of those she loves all around her.
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fixchick · 5 years
Text
6x07 spoiler spec
Based on what we heard in the sneak peak Clarke opens "the door" and eventually her and josies mind end up being "awake" at the same time.
We also see chinese symbols over clarkes memory drawings and the meaning of the words ( a friend in need is a friend indeed/ in darkest times true emotions are revealed ). This leads me to believe that clarke memories and certain aspects of josies consciousness are merging.
If this is true then i speculate that josie will have some access to clarkes memories/skills and the same will go for clarke. Meaning clarke may begin to understand chinese/mandarin and/or josie might begin to get access to clarkes emotions.
Im not sure how long this mind merge may last though if its even permanent at all (i doubt it is).
Furthermore i highly doubt gaining access to the others memories/skills would somehow take away the other acces to her skills.
In connection to this theory i think it would be interesting to see josephinnes development as a character if she were indeed an in canon psychopath and the mind merge affected her ability to feel and empathise and even moresore if some of clarkes stronger emotions i.e her love for certain character may rub off on josie after the seperation if josie even survives. Just a highly speculative though super interesting thought...
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someone-elses-star · 5 years
Text
Episode 6x07: Nevermind Personal Narration
You guys seemed to like my personal narrative last week, so I decided to do one again! I’m super excited for this episode, and I’m really wondering if we will get Clarke back this week, or if the crew will somehow find out she is still alive.
IT”S STARTING!!!!!
Love hearing Eliza’s accent when she introduces the show!
Okay...give me some Clarke goodness!
Love hearing the voices of her memories! 
Lexa! Still ship bellarke but......LEXA!
Door is opening......
And back to older Clarke!
Is this the Jake Griffin scene?!?!!?
YAYAYAYA JAKE!
Is he still hot? I think he’s still pretty hot! Lol
No Clarke. You didn’t die. YOU FIGHT GIRL!
Awww poor Clarke thinks she’s dead. 
YES girl! You still alive!
Yes, baby girl. Daddy is in your head. But why should it mean it isn’t real? (Harry Potter references! lol)
Are we already leaving Jake? Is he coming back?! I want him back! Maybe he’ll lead her back after she beats Jo? She better beat JO!!!
I do love Jo, though. Very good evil girl! I just want Clarke back, too!
Ohh! ALLIE! and old Clarke grounder outfit!
Ohhhh....Allie saved Clarke! Coolll!!!!
Yes, save that memory! Use it to beat Jo! Use it to come back!
Face your demons, Clarke! Fight! Live!
Ohhh. Is the red door a Jo memory?
HI JOSEPHINE!
Damn right it’s not! Kick her butt, Clarke!
COMMERCIAL BREAK #1 Thoughts: If Clarke really dies is this show even worth watching anymore? If they save her through Madi’s chip instead, will she have to relearn all her new memories. That makes the most sense. I really don’t want her to forget Madi though! Also, random, but what do you guys think about the theory that this season will end with time travel to a past Earth before the nukes? I feel that that may take it a little too far, but I honestly just want Clarke back now, so that is my main focus. NANCY FUCKING DREW! Is anyone else excited?
Yes, Clarke. He did. Does anyone else want to punch Jo? She kinda has that kinda punchable expression constantly on her face. 
If anyone can fight brain deterioration it is Clarke!
It better hurt you psychopath!
I also don’t want Clarke to survive only to have to take a new body because I don’t want to lose Eliza either!
Ahh there is Jo’s little hair twirl.
Yeah, you fight Clarke!
Ohhh, love Clarke’s change in every room! 
Ohhhhh....memories are already fading off the walls!
Damn, Jo is quick. Guess she’s gotta be after all these years.
Clarke is a badass! Shut your bitch mouth!
Damn.....Jo is smart though!
Yes, Clarke beat her ass into the ground!
Damn......slamming her head with the door. Inspired!
Doubt this means Jo is dead though.
Yup....there she is again.
Ahhh, backup. LIke a computer. 
Ah so that is what the pill was. A sedative. Makes sense.
Don’t be so sure Jo! Clarke is a cockroach!
COMMERCIAL BREAK #2 Thoughts: Trying not to be worried about Clarke’s survival. I feel the writers know that a dead Clarke means the end of the show. Also, Eliza is a queen. Losing her would also mean the end of the show I think. Still....very nervous like last episode. Wondering if this episode was the writers trying to give us a final goodbye to Clarke. But I can’t let those thoughts win or I’m going to start having a panic attack. Not good. Need happy thoughts. Clarke surviving. Bellarke reunion. Madi burning these bastards to the ground. I wonder when we are going to get the Bellamy scenes from the episode photos. I want those scenes, but I also want to give Clarke plenty of time to beat Jo. But how will she do that when Jo is backed up? Kinda feel like she will need a window to take over her body and let the others know she is still there so they can do something on the outside that she can’t do from the inside. Then all she has to do is stay alive on the inside. Easy, right? lol
RUN CLARKE RUN!
Ohhh....bloodreina! 
That’s bull! She fought a lot of battles. Don’t let your demons kill you Clarke!
OHHHH she brought up Bellamy!!!
Love the collision alerts every time Jo is coming on screen!
AH MOUNT WEATHER! 
Will a projection of Bellamy help save her?
Oh, no! Maya! Damn!!!
Because she has people to live for! People who love her!
Awww honey. Gotta stop letting your demons break you down! 
This is worse than the eclipse psychosis! Poor Clarke!
YES! You’re in control Clarke!
She has an idea?!?! What did she do with the chip!? Ohhh I bet she controlled Maya to lie for her! 
YES I was right!
Cute....lmao....
Jo reminds me a lot of a girl who used to bully me in school. Is that why I hate her so much? Probably.
Yes, shock her to death....until she reboots. Damn. She brought in an eviler Russell? Note that I said eviler because no matter how nice he’s trying to play he still killed Clarke and has killed many before her so the Primes could live. 
COMMERCIAL BREAK #3 Thoughts: Not many, honestly, I just want Clarke to live. It’s fun seeing her projections come to life in the form of old characters. That’s fun! Already half over? This show always goes by so quickly when I’m narrating it! Anyone else get these Liberty Mutual commericals with the emu? Do we like? I don’t know! OHHHH LOVE RUBY ROSE as the new batwoman! What a great casting call!
RUN CLARKE RUN! AGAIN!
Oh no! Don’t watch daddy get floated again!
Uhh oohhhh....Jo is going to play mean with the floating memory!
Did they actually have Yatzee? That could be the only reason she knows that saying, right?
Oh....a little scary! Poor Clarke traumas! Isn’t that like....her whole life?
“A ringing endorsement.” Lmao. Sassy Clarke!
Damn, Jo is great at manipulation. 
Ohhhh bringing up Bellamy again!
“You have drawings, I have books. Don’t judge!” Lmao
Ohhhh....Clarke seeing Jo’s memories of Bellamy.
Damn....please don’t stop fighting!
Oh God.....she’s considering this! She’s going to sacrifice herself again!?!?!
Do you actually trust her, Clarke?!?!
What.....my heart is breaking. Are we actually losing Clarke? NOT MY Daughter you bitch! (Yes, another HP reference. I can’t help myself!) 
COMMERCIAL BREAK #4 Thoughts: I think I’m dying. I feel like this was to be expected because Clarke is a self-sacrificing angel, but oh my gods please let this be fixed somehow! In a way that does not have Clarke dying...and preferably with her memories of Madi still intact. But that last part can be negotiable in lieu of new memories. There is NO replacing Clarke! I will RIOT if they actually kill Clarke off. Who’s with me? We still have twenty minutes. Miracles happen in this show all the time! Especially in the last couple of minutes! KEEP THE HOPE ALIVE! I’m wondering if we are going to get a, “I bear it so they don’t have to” from Clarke anytime soon. That would fit well in this episode. 
Okay. Now she is in her old hut. With....MONTY?!?!?!?! Oh my fucking GOD! MONTY!!!!!
Yes, Monty! You tell her! Tell her not to give up! Save her Monty! This is so much better than a memory of Bellamy saving her! 
AHHH THE QUOTE! I’m so good! Yes, bring up Madi! Don’t leave Madi! 
They wouldn’t bring back Monty if she was going to actually die, right?!!?
It’s never over, Clarke! Yes, Monty! Lead her to freedom!
I’m crying over Monty. Are you? 
Yes, going in to Josephine’s mind! You can do this! You have Monty! Everything is better with Monty!
Damn.....that is a lot of books.
Ohhh....she knows you are there!
“I like your drawings better.” I love you Monty! We never deserved you!
Yes, control your body! Our predictions are coming true!
Oh. The scene of Jo being murdered in her last body! 
Ohhh. How is Clarke going to use this memory? Or any of the memories she sees?
Baby! 
Nulls? That’s what they call those who can’t bear a host? Damn....
COMMERCIAL BREAK #5 Thoughts: So, Clarke is fighting again with the help of Monty. They are discussing her controlling her body through Jo’s memories. GOOD! BUTTTT....we have less than ten minutes. What’s going to happen? Could Clarke take control of her body and interrupt Bellamy’s meeting with Russell that we saw pictured? Will Jo take over at the last minute and try to convince them that she was just joking...and that Clarke is really dead? Could that send Bellamy into exploring Clarke being alive? If Clarke stays inside her head for more than this episode do we get to see more Monty?
He got it! Go Monty! 
And we’re....in a cafe. With XMAS decor. OHHHH Earth before the bombs?!?!!
Yes, why would she lock this memory away?
Oh are the bombs about to go off?
Water rationing protest? Is this our future? Probably. 
Oh......what is this guy to her? Damn...a gun?!?!
Oh MY GOD! I would want to hide this memory too! 
Ohh more fighting! 
Oh no! She’s awake! 
No! She can’t win! Clarke can still be alive!
Oh....he’s using Morse code! Is that Morse code?
Bellamy knows!!! He can see it! He knows! Clarke is still in there! 
It is Morse code! 
“I slept through most of Earth skills so....” Lmao! I love Miller! We never get enough Miller!
Yes, go last five seconds of Bellamy finding out about Clarke still being in there!
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immortalpramheda · 5 years
Text
The 100 6x07 ‘Nevermind’
Clarke sees some people from her past. First off, her father, which was a very sweet reunion. That makes her think she really is dead, but he pushes her to realise that she’s not. Her heart is still beating.
The reason why Clarke is still alive is because of ALIE. The mind wipe failed because the ‘neural mesh’ from the City of Light chip still remains in her head. It contains a place for her memories to be stored so they wouldn’t be wiped completely.
An EMP was used to forcibly remove Raven from the City of Light. That means there is still a part of ALIE in everyone who took the chip. So even if they do turn everyone into Nightbloods and use them as hosts, anyone who took the CoL chip would be in the same situation as Clarke. That memory is the key that Josephine needs to kill Clarke for good.
Josephine and Clarke meeting for the first time was great! As much as Josie admires Clarke and all that she’s heard about her, two minds in one brain cannot survive. One of them needs to die.
Josie’s mind drive was put into a 6 month old baby in one of the early tests (how could they possibly think that putting a 20 year olds mind into a baby could work?), as well as a 15 year olds body, which both failed. Their brains were not fully formed, therefore their minds were not completely wiped and it eventually led to a stroke and they died. Josie seems so nonchalant about the whole thing. She has no regard for human life except for her own.
The detail of all the drawings of Clarke’s memories is incredible! It’s so cool to see them all and how each of them shaped Clarke’s life in an important way. I loved that when they run their hands along the walls, little soundbites of each memory play. Clarke’s memories are all over the place. Some are big drawings, some are small, and they don’t seem to be in any kind of order. That’s obviously how Clarke’s subconscious organises and processes things.
Once Josie finds out about the missing memory and realises it’s what she needs, Clarke kills her. But Josie’s mind has a back up so she can just keep coming back. She can’t die in here.
There is no way Clarke is giving up. She runs right into the fighting pits and is confronted by Bloodreina. She says things that deep down Clarke feels about herself. Stealing the bunker is one of the things she feels great shame about. The pits are also the setting of one of her biggest regrets, when she left Bellamy to die. She cares about him, she always has. And Bellamy forgave her for what she did. But the projection of Bloodreina questions whether he really did. If he did, then why is he not here too?
Because Clarke is too afraid to face him. While she wants to accept that he’s forgiven her, on the inside she doubts that he really has. Having to face the possibility that Bellamy hasn’t forgiven her is something she doesn’t want to confront. She’s afraid of facing him because a part of her thinks he sees her as a monster. But that’s not true, if only she could see how devastated he is over her ‘death’.
Next, Clarke finds herself in Mount Weather and encounters another thing that is eating away at her. Another death on her hands that she feels deep regret over. Maya.
She’s covered in radiation burns, exactly how she looked when she died in Jasper’s arms. It makes sense that her guilt about Mount Weather would be wrapped in the girl who gave up everything to help them. The girl who was nothing but kind and died because of her actions. Clarke knows that she had no other choice, she had to save her people, but she still finds it hard to justify what she did. Maya also brings up that Jasper’s death is on her hands too. Maya’s death is what led to Jasper’s downward spiral and Clarke also blames herself for that.
Clarke hides the memory in the part of her brain where her most traumatic memories live. Behind the airlock where her father was floated, and out into the woods where there is Lexa’s throne, the pole where Finn was tied up and the knife she killed him with, and the box she found in Arkadia. She’s wearing black, her S3 clothes, which was one of the darkest time in her life.
Josie convinces her that giving up the fight is what is best for her people. If she gives in then her people can live peacefully in their own compound. She shows her a memory of Bellamy agreeing to the peace deal, and that is what pushes her over the edge. Bellamy gave up on her, that’s what it seems like.
Just like during the eclipse, all of these things that come to the forefront in her mindspace are internal thoughts of how she really feels about herself. Everyone blames her for the impossible choices she’s had to make, for the deaths that happened because of her. Wanheda, the Commander of Death. Wouldn’t everything be better if she was gone?
And so the always selfless Clarke Griffin decides to once again sacrifice herself for the people she loves. She unlocks the box (0102 “You forgot Bellamy and Raven.”). Jasper’s goggles, along with some other painful reminders are in there, and the memory that Josie wants.
“You call this doing better? Giving up isn't better.” Of course Monty would be the voice of reason she needs! Deep down she still does want to live, that’s why she conjured up a projection of Monty, the person who always urged her to do the right thing.
The make their way through to Josephine’s memories, a library organised in chronological order. Wow, thats a lot of books! I guess that happens when you’ve lived for hundreds of years.
Clarke takes the last memory of Josephine VII, her previous host. As we found out a couple of episodes ago, Kaylee was the one who killed her. She drugged her and pushed her out of the window, making it look like an accident. It was revenge for killing Isaac, a good friend of hers, who Josie referred to as a ‘null’.
The ‘nulls’ are people who do not carry the gene of royal blood. They are treated as lesser, with no power and less important jobs such as janitors and guards. And to make Josie’s lust for a pure bloodline even more horrendous, the Primes feed null babies to the forest. Isaac was trying to save one and take it to Gabriel (is this where the name Children of Gabriel comes from? They originated as the babies that were rescued from the forest?).
Josies also says that Gabriel in his current body is 95. So 6 years later (Josephine VII died 6 years ago) that means he’s now 101 years old. He really is old, no wonder they call him the Old Man. The anomaly must somehow be keeping him alive because at that age he really should be dead.
After seeing what a sociopath Josie is, Clarke is determined not to let her win. Clarke and Monty make their way to her most traumatic memory.
Back on Earth at a diner, before the first apocalypse. There is a newspaper with Diyoza’s face on it, and a magazine with Becca. A guy walks in, someone who seems a little (or a lot) obsessed with Josephine. He’s acting like a crazed stalker, upset that she kept rejecting him. He then shoots himself in the head.
Because of this event, Josie’s whole life changed. She had decided not to go on the trip with her parents, the Eligius 3 colonising mission. She originally wasn’t going to go on it but then because of what happened, I’m assuming she decided she wanted to get as far away from Earth as possible. That led her to who she is now. If this event had never happened, she never would have become an immortal being with a cold heart. The fact that she doesn’t want to face this memory shows that there is possibly a hint of humanity left in her. Why else wouldn’t she want to face the root cause?
In that first flashback when Eligius 3 first arrived on Alpha, Josie made a lighthearted comment to Gabriel about being obsessed with her. Seeing her most traumatic memory makes that even more disturbing. Is making fun of obsessive behaviour how she deals with trauma? That is not a good way to process these things and could definitely explain why she turned out like this.
Before Josie realises where Clarke is, the projection of Monty hides. That’s how she’s still in there when Josie wakes up! A part of her subconscious, in the shape of Monty, is still in her mind when she’s awake. As Josie said earlier, brain functions are attached to deep emotional trauma. Because a part of Clarke snuck into her most deeply traumatic memory, she could effect her body without Josie realising.
Clarke knew that Josie was meeting with Bellamy, so she knew when she sensed Josie wake up that Bellamy would be nearby soon.
Clarke’s subconscious/Monty’s projection uses the lights in the diner to send a message in morse code. Clarke and Bellamy both paid attention in Earth Skills class (unlike Miller who fell asleep!) so of course he was going to be the one to figure out the message!! He knows her better than anyone. She’s alive! And he’s gonna fight to get her back!
What an episode! The attention to detail in this episode completely blew my mind. All the drawings and the memories they correspond to, the recreation of sets and outfits, and how it all connected to how Clarke was feeling right now. Simply incredible. This episode was everything I could have hoped for and I can’t wait to see how they get Clarke back!
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wankadi · 5 years
Note
Do you think Earthkru will find out that Clarke is still in there for 6x07? Love your blog btw🖤
You are the cutest omg
I remember from 6x07 promo that Josephine or Clarke opens her eyes with blood below her nose and it’s still a night. I guess either Josephine shuts her down again, or she wakes up before anyone notices.
There will be this mental fight and I think it’s supposed to take place at night, when Josephine is sleeping. That’s why they don’t really sleep at first in their new hosts. (Ew). But I hope that the very next day she realises that Clarke’s not giving up? Like for the first time she will feel it while awake?
And HOPEFULLY our Bellamy (because Murhpy doesn’t really pay attention, Raven is on the mothership and the rest doesn’t know Clarke this much) will notice that there’s something off again. And he might notice because he can’t not notice her. It’s in his brain and heart.
He’s still breathing, but there’s no hope. (Idk why because they should be more sure that Clarke ain’t dying like never lmao, she keeps on surviving more than Murphy!)
But the second he sees that Josephine is not in her full force, or took a day off, or whatever, Bellamy won’t be this calm. He’s the heart again. Let’s not forget it.
If anyone, I believe it’s gonna be Bellamy...
OR Madi.
I had this thought once that Clarke and Madi will meet up in the mind space, which will happen to be Madi’s anchor in chip. As Gaia said, there’s a way to enter a memory when she feels unsure or threatened. And Clarke is LITERALLY inside of her memories. I hope that Madi regains hope once they see each other for real and BELIEVE that it’s not another memory.
I think that the plot must to move on and there is too many things going on to keep on this arc. Josephine goes down, mark my words. 
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timelordthirteen · 5 years
Text
2018 Fanfic Year in Review
Again, I’m late, but that seems to be the running theme so far in 2019. I did not hit my goal of 750K total words on AO3, but I should be able to get there pretty easily this year.
I said 2018 was going to be the year of finishing things and I totally didn’t. I did get my beloved Working Out done, but I have to be very strict with myself not to create new verses willy nilly and get some of these done. After my RBB fic, my priority is Some Other Time followed by The Don’t Fall in Love Job.
Stats: Words Posted on AO3: 153,964 Stories posted: 40 Verses created (multiple fics, same verse): 12 WIPs finished: 1 WIPs still to complete: 3, started this year
Total words on AO3 as of the end of the year: 682,128
January
Rumbelle
Sunlight-  Gold finds his wife lounging in the sun and can’t help himself. (nsfw)
Working Out Chapter 13 - It’s back!  The third date, a lot of kissing, and a confession.
Keep the Change - Lacey confronts Gold about a late notice for her rent and things…happen. (nsfw)
February
Rumbelle
Working Out Chapter 14 - Belle and Gold chat with their workout partners about their last date, Ruby and David get in some good natured teasing, and plans are made for a very important next date.
Working Out Chapter 15 - Leading up to the highly anticipated date night, Gold and Belle find help and reassurance from their friends.
If Wishes Were Kisses - Part 1 -  A series of ficlets covering all of Rumbelle’s canon kisses (including the ones we didn’t see on screen…).  Rumple and Belle’s first kiss, True Love’s Kiss from Skin Deep. Rumple POV.
Intervals - Part 14 - Ficlets set in the Working Out universe. A couple days before their big date, Gold and Belle meet up at the gym. NSFW… ;)
Anyelle/Anyem
Alchemy - Alchemy: a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination. Lacey finds an antagonistic note left in her classroom and confronts the person who wrote it. (Rushacey)
March
Rumbelle
Between Friends - Belle and Gold are best friends who are secretly in love with each other and living together. One night their mutual attraction boils over and finally brings them together. (nsfw)
Paris As It Lays - Belle has been working for Mr. Gold to fund her dream of traveling world, and fallen in love with him along the way. What happens when she asks him to come with her to Paris? An aesthetic and a ficlet for @mariequitecontrarie‘s birthday. (nsfw)
April
Rumbelle
Hearts Off Balance Chapter 2 & Chapter 3 (complete) Belle works at the same museum as Gold, and while she’s attracted to him, he’s being a huge ass. After being denied a promotion, she’s called into his office, and her frustration, sexual and otherwise, bubbles over. (nsfw)
Woven Lace
Happy Hour - An argument between Weaver and Lacey in Roni’s bar leads to sexy shenanigans in the bathroom. (nsfw)
May
Rumbelle
Parent Teacher Conference: Teacher Appreciation Week (nsfw) - Belle is a teacher, Gold is the parent of a student, and during parent-teacher conference night, they find themselves alone with their mutual attraction.
Parent Teacher Conference: Summer School (nsfw) - After a tutoring session, Belle and Gold find themselves alone in the house and unable to resist temptation.
Between Us (nsfw) - Rumplestiltskin accidentally spills a potion that has some interesting, awkward, and frustrating effects, which he tries to hide from Lady Belle. But Belle knows something is *up* and she’s determined to find out what… Part of The Between Verse Series.
Woven Lace
Scars to Show: Out of Sight (nsfw) - Lacey’s boyfriend is arrested, but not without incident. In the aftermath, Weaver finds himself on Lacey’s bad side, but an encounter at Roni’s leads to a making up… of sorts. Part of the Scars to Show verse which started with Happy Hour.
Doctor Who
Stay - Ten II x Rose For the drabble prompt “Stay” at doctorroseprompts on Tumblr.
June
Rumbelle
Parent Teacher Conference: 3 - After School Special (nsfw) - Gold and Neal go out for dinner, but whom should they see at Granny’s diner but the lovely Miss French.
Parent Teacher Conference: 4 - Distance Learning (nsfw) - A frustrated Belle starts fantasizing about Gold, who makes a very timely phone call.
Pillow Talk (nsfw) - For a prompt at a-monthly-rumbelling, Dark Castle, first time, fluff.  A quiet moment and some introspection after their first time.
Between Us Part 1 and 2 (nsfw)- Rumplestiltskin accidentally spills a potion that has some interesting, awkward, and frustrating effects, which he tries to hide from Lady Belle. For the lust potion prompt at a-monthly-rumbelling.
In These Final Hours (G) - Belle’s friends drag her out for drinks and karaoke on one of her last nights in Storybrooke. After a couple of glasses, she gets up the nerve to sing a song about unrequited love, secretly directed at her friend Mr. Gold. Except Mr. Gold is in the audience.
Woven Lace
Scars to Show: Lost On You (nsfw) - Lacey and Weaver go back to her place to finish what they started at the bar, but the end is not what Lacey expects.
July
Rumbelle
Lover of the Light - An RCIJ fic for @evilsnowswan. Belle finds a bowl of strawberries in the castle and it leads to a significant moment between her and Rumple. (nsfw)
Woven Lace
A Holy Fool - Weaver and Rogers do a little police work, but end up striking out. Meanwhile, Lacey has a disturbing moment after Nick is released from jail. (semi-nsfw but only for some dirty talk at the end)
August
Rumbelle
Parent Teacher Conference chapter 5 -  Belle has a no good, very bad day, and Gold makes it better. Right before he fucks it up… (nsfw)
Laundry Day -  Rumplestiltskin returns home to find Belle wearing a very interesting outfit. (nsfw)
Working Out chapter 16 COMPLETED!!! -  THE BIG DATE. Romance…go! I can’t believe I finished this fic finally.
Through a Paris Window - Gold admires his wife and can’t help taking a little video with his shiny new phone.
The Kissing Booth -  Belle is running a kissing booth to raise money for the library. When Gaston approaches, Mr. Gold comes to the rescue.
Golden Lace
The Don’t Fall in Love Job chapter 1 -  Con artist Lacey never planned on staying in Storybrooke, just long enough to let the heat cool off in Boston from her last job. She also never planned on falling in love with the town’s eccentric pawn broker, Mr. Gold, but here she is living a life built on nothing bu lies. Well, almost nothing… This is what happens after it all falls apart.
September
Rumbelle
Parent Teacher Conference chapter 6 - In the immediate aftermath of Neal disrupting their activities, Gold calls Belle and makes amends for his behavior. AKA Gold done fucked up and he knows it, but Belle is pretty forgiving…and also horny on main. (nsfw)
After Party - Belle and Gold arrive home from a formal party to have another party of their own.
The Bartender chapter 5  - After 84 years no updates, ta-da! Bartender!Belle and Gold work their Saturday night together.
Only Something in Me -  Furious over Rumple’s involvement with the Evil Queen, Belle confronts him in his shop. But things do not go as planned once Belle’s anger and jealous take over. Post 6x07 Heartless.
Golden Lace
The Don’t Fall in Love Job chapter 2 -  Con artist Lacey fic for the little Angst War continues. Gold goes after Lacey, and things get a bit heated. (nsfw)
The Don’t Fall in Love Job chapter 3 - After leaving Storybrooke, Lacey gets some unexpected, life changing news, and remembers the first time she met Mr. Gold.
Some Other Time - College student Lacey dumps her boyfriend and needs a new apartment, it just so happens her professor, Dr. Gold, has a room to rent. (Teen)
Some Other Time chapter 2 - For anon who asked: Does Some Other Time!Lacey do yoga? If so, does Gold like to watch without her noticing? (rating goes up to Mature!)
October
Rumbelle
The Bartender Part 6 - After not seeing Gold for a couple of weeks, Belle reflects on her feelings for him and decides to track him down.
The Bartender Part 7 - Now awake, Rumplestiltskin makes his way to his shop to recover and remember how he and Lacey met, while he figures out what to do next.
Parent Teacher Conference Chapter 7 - Belle goes to visit Gold in his shop, and of course naughtiness ensues. Extremely naughty (read the warnings.) (nsfw)
November
Rumbelle
The Bartender Part 8 - Rumplestiltskin visits Belle (Lacey) at the Rabbit Hole to make amends, and a date happens.
Parent Teacher Conference Chapter 8 - Belle goes to Gold’s house for dinner, but things don’t turn out the way either of them plan. 
Parent Teacher Conference Chapter 9 - Gold and Belle finally confront their feelings, and the future begins. (nsfw, and also complete!!)
Golden Lace
Some Other Time Part 3 -  Following Gold’s post-shower, full frontal mishap, Lacey attends one of his classes and things get…suggestive. (nsfw)
December
Rumbelle
The Pretty Librarian - Mr. Gold goes to the library to return a book and something unexpected happens. (nsfw)
Rumbelle/Golden Lace/Woven Lace/Macelle for 31 Days of Fandomas
A Card for Mr. Gold - Part 1 - 9 (Rumbelle, G) -  Mr. Gold receives a card on Christmas Eve.
The Gift - A Working Out ficlet (Rumbelle, Teen) - Belle gives Gold the best Christmas gift ever. Takes place after Working Out!Rumbelle are married, approximately 2.5 years after the end of the main story.
Win-Win Situation (Rumbelle, Explicit) -  Belle and her husband get up to some naughtiness at a holiday charity event. (nsfw)
Desperate Souls (Macelle and Macey, Teen) - Ex-priest Joseph is having a bad day, but someone is watching over him.
Yippee Ki Yay (Woven Lace, Mature) - Lacey and Weaver spend Christmas together. (nsfw)
Traditions(Golden Lace, G) - Lacey thinks she’s going to spend Christmas alone.
Some Other Time - Part 4 (Golden Lace, Explicit) - The incident with the lollipop behind them, Gold and Lacey look forward to the holidays. (nsfw)
Carol of the Belles (Rumbelle, G) - Mr. Gold is being driven slowly mad by the caroling outside his house.
All I Want for Christmas Part 1 - 5 (Rumbelle, Teen) - Young Gideon French tells Mr. Gold what he’d like for Christmas.
Very Nice Indeed (Golden Lace, Explicit) - Lacey asks Gold if she’s been naughty or nice. (nsfw)
One Hour (Woven Lace, Mature) - Lacey talks Weaver into going to a holiday party. (nsfw)
Some Other Time - Part 5 (Golden Lace, Explicit) - Lacey gets a package, and Gold gets a peek. (nsfw)
By the Fire (Rumbelle, G) - A quiet moment in the Dark Castle.
The Ornament (Golden Lace, G) - Lacey returns and sees Gold has fixed something.
Peppermint(Golden Lace, Explicit) - Gold needs to hear the words. (nsfw)
Some Other Time - Part 6 (Golden Lace, Explicit) - Lacey plans a sexy surprise for Gold, but her plans get derailed by another surprise. (Takes place immediately after the last chapter.) (nsfw)
Resolutions - New Year’s Eve aesthetic + drabble (Golden Lace, Teen) - Mr. Gold has made a New Year’s resolution.  
Kastle
No One Says It Out Loud (Kastle, Teen) - Karen’s house sitting for the holidays and Frank’s back in town.
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habibialkaysani · 6 years
Text
Thanksgiving (Thea-centric; G)
Ships: Thea/Rene, Thea & William, Thea & Quentin, Oliver & Thea
Summary: Set during and after 6x07. When Thea wakes from her coma, she is welcomed back into the world with several faces, old and new.
A/N:  I've never written Rene before, so I do apologise if that is obvious. The shippiness isn't hugely shippy for WildQueen, but it's there for sure and I hope they go down that road for them later in the season.
Read at AO3
Read at FFN
The sound of voices in the hospital hallway interrupts the conversation Thea is having with John, and they both look up expectantly at the newcomers. Felicity is first, and she's by Thea’s side in a flash, hugging her.
“Great to see you too, Felicity,” Thea says, and she grins at John over Felicity's shoulder.
“I'm so glad you're awake,” Felicity says, patting her cheek, and when she steps back Thea sees Ollie with his hands on the shoulders of a small boy of about ten.
“Hey, Speedy,” Oliver says softly. “You guys, uh, haven't officially met, but this is William.”
“Hey there, buddy,” Thea says with a smile, and William takes a tentative step towards her. “I'm Thea.”
She's not sure whether to extend her hand for a handshake, or open her arms for a hug, but after a second William makes the decision for her, putting his arms around her.
“I wasn't sure I'd ever get to meet you for real,” William says.
“This is actually not my first time in a coma,” Thea says, and she tries to say it lightly but her voice is edged with fatigue. Not for the first time she inwardly curses whoever it is that is deciding her fate.
He pulls away for a moment, looking disconcerted. “Really?”
“Yeah, there have been a few times now,” Thea says with a sigh.
“You’ve been through a lot, Speedy,” Felicity says sympathetically.
“But I’m okay now,” Thea assures her, and William too, and he hugs her again.
“Thank you,” he says into her shoulder.
“For what?”
“For trying to save my mom.”
“I'm sorry I couldn't,” Thea says quietly as she moves away and can't quite meet his eyes. “And I'm so sorry you lost her. She deserved better.”
“Hey, you did everything you could,” John interjects.
William nods. “Yeah, Mr Diggle is right. It's not your fault, Aunty Thea. I don't blame you. Especially because you risked your life for her.”
Thea reaches out, finds William’s hand. “Not just her. You too. We're family, William. And I want you to know - if you ever need anything, anything at all, or you need to talk, or you just want to play video games with me, just ask me, okay?”
“Okay,” says William, squeezing her hand, and he adds, “Dad sucks at video games.”
At this Thea laughs. “Yeah, he does. Always has done.”
“I'll have you know, Speedy, that I let you win,” Ollie says, trying and failing to look affronted, but there's this sparkle in his eyes that looks like contentment and Thea’s so glad her brother seems happy for once.
Later, when Oliver, John, Felicity and William leave and Quentin arrives, she's surprised to find at his heels is a little girl of about eight, and behind her is none other than Rene Ramirez. The girl is carrying a bunch of flowers and Rene is bearing what looks like a box of chocolates too.
“Quentin, hey,” she calls, and he comes over and gives her a hug.
“I have missed you, Thea,” Quentin says, and Thea notices that Rene is standing back, holding the little girl’s hand with this quiet kind of smile on his face.
And it hurts her to ask, but she would be a fool not to. “How are you? Have you -”
“- fallen off the wagon?” Quentin says. Thea nods, and to her immense relief Quentin shakes his head. “No. There were times that I came close. Because of, uh, stuff. A lot of stuff. But no. It hasn't happened.”
“I'm glad,” she says sincerely. “And I'm proud of you.”
“Thank you.”
Quentin steps back, then, enough for Thea to get a good look at the little girl. Then she looks up at Rene, raising her eyebrows.
“Is she -”
“I'm Zoe,” says the little girl before Rene can say anything, and she steps forward and hands Thea the flowers.
“Hi, Zoe,” Thea says warmly, putting the flowers on the cabinet beside her bed. “Thank you for these. So I take it Rene is your dad?”
“The one and only,” Rene says with a grin as Zoe nods. He copies his daughter, moving towards the bed and handing her the chocolates. “How are you doing?”
“Considering I've been asleep for six months, I feel pretty exhausted.”
He seems to take that the wrong way, though, and says hurriedly, “Uh, in that case, we'll get out of your hair in a minute. I just wanted to - I wanted to see you,” he says quietly, and Thea can't help but smile.
“Come on, Zoe, let's go and get a hot chocolate,” Quentin says quickly.
“Sure, hoss,” Zoe says cheerfully, and Thea chuckles.
“Wow,” she says once they've left the room. “Like father like daughter. Don't tell me she wears a hockey mask too.”
Rene shrugs, then says, “Well, yeah, she does, but that's because she's in her school’s hockey team. I don’t wear mine in the field anymore. I got my suit upgraded in the meantime.”
“Ah, Cisco made it more badass, huh? I bet he offered to give you a better codename as well.”
But at this he shakes his head. “Nuh-uh. He thought it was a great name. But I can see why he wanted to rename you. Speedy kind of suits his other red friend more than you.”
“I actually wanted everyone to call me Red Arrow at first,” Thea admits. “But, uh, it’s been my nickname since I was a kid. So Ollie told everyone to call me Speedy, and he and Laurel grew up together, so they had always called me that anyway. And when it was just me and John and Laurel in the field, they just kept calling me Speedy.” She laughs. “And I guess it just stuck.”
Rene considers, furrowing his brow. “Red Arrow does make more sense.”
“You never told me you had a daughter,” Thea says after a moment. “She's great, by the way.”
“Thank you,” he says. “She is… the very best part of me. By a long shot. But I, uh, didn't say anything about her to you because it's kind of - complicated.”
“As in, ‘you're not with her mother anymore’ complicated, or -”
“Her mother died, actually.”
“I'm so sorry,” Thea says automatically.
“Yeah, it messed me up, big time.”
“Losing the person you thought you’d spend your life with tends to do that.”
Nodding, Rene sighs. “And after this - accident, Zoe got taken into foster care. But now I do get to visit her. And her foster mom was kind enough to let her spend Thanksgiving with me.”
“That’s good,” she says. “I’m glad. And who knows? Maybe one day she’ll get to come home to you.”
“One day,” Rene echoes. For some reason he seems to be hesitating, and then he says, “Gotta say, I kind of expected you to be more -”
“- judgmental?” Thea says with a slight smile. “Kinda hard to be when you’ve gone through four dads in your life. And when one was so shitty the bar was literally underground.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Four?”
“Oh yeah.” She counts off her fingers. “First was Robert Queen, the guy who I thought was my dad until I was nineteen. Apparently he knew I wasn’t his and still loved me anyway. And I wish that made up for the things I know he did now… but it doesn’t.”
“Yeah, I remember a lot of crap went down last year because of that.”
“Then Walter Steele, my mom’s second husband, who remains the most decent human being on the planet by, like, a long shot.”
“Oh yeah, Oliver said he visited a couple of times,” Rene says.
“Really?” And she doesn’t expect to, but tears appear in her eyes at that, blurring her vision. Quickly she looks away, impatiently wiping her eyes. “I, uh, hadn’t heard from him in a while before Lian Yu happened,” she says faintly, not quite able to meet his gaze. “We kind of… lost touch. After my mom died. But before that, even when I was being the worst stepdaughter ever - he was always there for me.”
“Sounds like a stand-up guy. What about number three and four?”
“Three was... Malcolm Merlyn.” And even now, just saying his name triggers something in her; it’s like she’s back on that horrible island and she can hear the click of that landmine under the heel of her boot and the blast of the explosion as she ran away leaving her father to die. “And I know it’s stupid, because he hurt me in so many ways that he doesn’t deserve to even be on this list.”
“Hey,” Rene says softly, tentatively putting his hand on her shoulder, “I’m not going to pretend that I understand even half of what went on with you and Merlyn. But I know he was your dad. And I know you hated his guts. And, uh, I want you to know, Thea… you don’t have to forgive someone to miss them. And you don’t need anyone’s permission to love someone you hate.”
And now she can feel the tears welling up in her eyes but she still meets his. “You think so?” she whispers.
“I know so,” he says firmly.
She’s not sure why, exactly, but she leans forward, and he meets her halfway for a hug.
“Thank you,” she says quietly.
“Anytime.” After a second she releases him, just as Quentin and Zoe come back in. Rene turns around, looks at Quentin. “So does that make you dad number four, hoss?”
“I mean,” Thea says when Quentin looks confused, “growing up, Quentin was just my friend’s scary cop dad. But since then… things have changed.” And now she reaches out for Quentin’s hand, and after a moment Quentin steps forward and takes it, squeezing her hand back. “Now - I know him. I’ve seen what he’s been through. And I’m proud of him. In fact, I could not be more proud of him if he were my own dad.”
“I’m proud of my daddy too,” Zoe pipes up, and Thea beckons for her to come to her bedside as well. “He works with the mayor. He’s really important to the city.”
Thea nods, her gaze moving from Zoe to Rene. “Yeah, you’re right, sweetie. He is.”
“Is Daddy your friend?” she asks, and Thea looks up at Quentin and they share a grin.
“Something like that,” Thea says. “Thank you for visiting me, Zoe. It means a lot.”
“All right, we should get back to my place,” Rene says. “Don’t want to miss the game.”
“Please tell me you’re at least a Rockets fan,” she says, and she punches the air when Zoe nods eagerly. “Good. I’m glad. Well, I hope I see you again someday. Keep being awesome, okay, and do I get a fistbump?”
She sees Quentin smile over Zoe’s shoulder as Zoe bumps fists happily with Thea.
“I’m gonna stick around for a bit, Rene, keep Thea company,” Quentin says. “You two enjoy your thanksgiving.”
Rene’s eyes find Thea, and the usual playfulness she expects to see isn’t really there. Instead there’s something soft and kind that she doesn’t quite recognise as he pats her shoulder. “Goodnight.”
“‘Night.”
He turns to leave, his daughter leading the way, and Quentin moves towards her and presses a kiss to the top of her head. Rene is almost out of sight when for some reason Thea calls out, “Rene?”
And of course Rene turns back immediately. “Yeah?”
“It’s - it’s really good to see you.”
When he smiles back, says it’s really nice to see her too, she wonders why her heart skips a beat.
Tagging: @thorun93 @arrowversefandom @laurastar09 @agent-supergirl @trumuh @scribblerspencer @stungunmilly2 @julianasharkavy @therewas-a-girl
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