Eddie is doing compressions now and not Chim, which means that as SOON as the ambulance stops, Eddie flies out of it and rushes to him, pulling Chim away and takes over because he has to do something. He has to get his hands on Buck. He can't just sit there and watch. He won't.

I am eating glass like it's fucking candy

At first, it was Buck reaching for Eddie,

Then Eddie reaching for Buck,

Now, they're reaching for one another,

happy 1 yr to the night buck questioned thor again 6.10 - In a Flash (06MAR2023)

eddie reaching for buck on the ladder

i can’t control my brain

6x10 coda

buck always drives.

it’s insane, and inane, but that’s what eddie’s thinking as he clutches the steering wheel with both hands. that buck always drives when they go somewhere together, and now—

now eddie’s driving like his life depends on it, because it does. because buck’s life depends on it, and eddie’s pretty sure his life depends on buck’s.

his hands squeeze tighter, so tight the skin over his knuckles threatens to split open.

blood would spill over to coat his hands, run down his wrists and fall into his lap and it would be fitting, to turn himself inside out like that. it already feels like he left half of himself at the top of that ladder, watching buck be lowered into bobby’s arms and not knowing—

so it would be fitting, he thinks, in the vague, distracted way that thoughts like this come and go. if his insides were on the outside.

the thought comes back to him later, when buck’s been wheeled into the hospital by a team of ER doctors so practiced that eddie couldn’t tell a single thing from their expressions. bobby claps him on the shoulder and eddie flinches, the contact stinging like all of his nerves are on the outside of his body.

“hey, whoa,” bobby says, and eddie doesn’t understand how his voice can be so gentle at a time like this. “you got thrown around pretty heavy by that lightning strike, are you injured?”

“i’m—i didn’t—buck was the one that—” eddie mumbles.

bobby frowns, and signals to a nearby nurse. “you don’t remember going down?”

“i—oh,” eddie says, blinking. “i guess i did. but i’m fine, i’m not the one we’re supposed to be—”

“eddie,” bobby says, and stops him in his tracks. “i can worry about two people at once. i’m very good at multitasking. will you please just get checked out?”

“fine,” eddie sighs, if only to placate bobby. it’s not like anyone is going to be able to fix what’s wrong with him unless buck wakes up.

until buck wakes up.

somebody gives him the all-clear, and instead of going back to where bobby and hen and chimney are waiting, eddie wanders down one hallway, and then another, and another until he finally ends up outside a room.

outside the room. buck’s room, where buck lies motionless and pale, somehow dwarfed by the hospital bed despite his usually massive frame.

maybe it’s the fact that buck’s always seemed larger than life, and there isn’t much life left in him now.

eddie’s not sure how he got here. how, in a hospital with hundreds of rooms along dozens of corridors, he found his way to buck’s room. it doesn’t make any kind of logical sense, isn’t probable or statistically likely, but—he’s here, and buck’s inside, and—

“are you family?”

there’s a young doctor standing to his left, peering at him over the clipboard clutched to her chest.

“huh?” eddie asks, blinking a couple of times to try to focus on her.

“are you family?” she asks again. “he’s not really supposed to have visitors yet, but if you’re family—”

“i—yes,” eddie says, so fast the words trip over themselves on the way out. “i’m his—he’s my family.”

she gives him a careful smile, one he can’t read into no matter how hard he tries. she opens the door and lets him in, then stands in the open doorway for a moment. “he’s in a medically induced coma,” she says. “to give him time to heal. we’ll know more in twenty-four hours.”

“thank you,” eddie says, and stumbles over to the chair by buck’s bedside, barely making it before his knees give out. his hands find one of buck’s, weaving carefully around the tubes to clutch it. to ground himself. his head drops, and for a moment he just breathes, ragged, listening to the sound of the hospital equipment and the steady beat of buck’s heart.

when he looks up again, the door is closed and the young doctor is gone.

“buck,” eddie says, and realises it’s the first time he’s said buck’s name since he was screaming it on the ladder.

“buck,” he says again, just because he can. “listen to me. you’re not going to die. you hear me? you’re not dying on me right now.”

he takes a deep breath. “you’re not dying on us. you said you’d take chris to the space exhibit opening next month, remember?” he says. “come on, you wouldn’t back out of that, huh? and what about the treehouse you guys keep saying we should build? there’s so much you haven’t done yet.”

there’s so much we haven’t done, eddie thinks. so much i haven’t told you. so much i keep putting off saying, because there’s always tomorrow, right?

but the words get stuck in this throat on the way out. so he swallows, and blinks, and tries again. “buck—you can’t die before i ever—”

then he shakes his head. “you know what? no. i’m not doing this deathbed shit.” he pauses, almost like he expects buck to answer. but of course he doesn’t.

“i’m not doing this,” eddie repeats. “listen, if you want to know, you’ll just have to wake up so i can tell you to your face.”

he settles back in his chair, buck’s hand still loosely clasped in his. “it’s okay,” he murmurs. “i’ll wait.”

I really liked how this episode showed the contrast of the 118

on the car accident they were very professional and calm, even with three different emergencies at the same time

hen and chim being serious and in synchrony, eddie and buck being proactive and collected and bobby being a leader giving well thought orders but also going into action

all of them thinking everything through and not panicking when something didn't work like they thought it would

but when buck got struck they just lost it

like they still assessed the situation to help him ofc but they weren't thinking straight like the professionals they are

hen whimpering when she took buck's helmet off and not being sure what to do, chim being hasty and wanting to use the life pack, eddie jumping right up and going up the stairs without the safety line and repeatedly screaming for buck the whole time and bobby kinda frozen, giving some orders but mostly being quiet and on the side

those whole 2 seconds when they just stopped and were shocked, seeing buck hanging from there unconscious, hoping he moves so they know he's (mostly) okay

like he survived a tsunami while on blood thinners and so much more so why wouldn't wake up and try to pull himself up so they can tell him to not strain himself and they can take care of him?

but he doesn't. and they panic because of it

buck died a year ago. his life ended in a near blink, sudden and with no warning, no sense of doom or a sign, just him doing his job. would he spend the anniversary stuck in that moment, replaying it over and over, faintly hearing the echo of eddie screaming his name even though that's surely not possible and just something his mind made up. would he push himself through the work day, fine totally fine not at all bothered, except for how being near the ladder truck makes him twitch as if a piece of that lightning is still embedded in his skin, except for how he keeps hearing the roar of wind and rain, except for how he can't meet the eyes of any of his friends. would he go to eddie's afterward, seeking that comfort he did once before, because the only place he feels really alive is there in that home. would that soothe the ache or make it worse. would it remind him of what he still has or what he almost lost. would he reach for eddie now the way he couldn't then or is what's between them still too charged and electric and dangerous to be touched, too sore and nebulous to be grasped, not without inflicting more damage. would he somehow feel both more alone than ever and also not alone at all because eddie is in it with him the way he is in all things. would he want for eddie to put his hands on his chest, not to revive but to maintain, not to push and leave but to cradle and stay, not to coax buck back to life but to give him something worth staying alive for and to remind him that they both are still here. still here. he's still here. and so is everyone else.

Just thinking about how each time Buck was terrified that Eddie had died, Buck never had to actually go through that pain or witness Eddie die.

Eddie will physically be there when Buck’s heart stops and have that concrete proof that Buck has died and not just the idea itself.

the way Eddie charges through and shoved Bobby out of the way to get to buck on the gurney….. I’m gonna be sick.. and then Bobby immediately tells him to get off bc he has to drive…. And then Eddie is wiping his face as he gets in the ambulance (like ok it’s raining and you don’t specifically see him wipe his eyes but it DOES feel different)…. and then the urgent “chim, I’ll take over!” leaving no room to argue because Eddie wasn’t letting buck go… and then Eddie is the one to shock him…and then him staring at buck in terror as he’s wheeled away… and then of course the ever popular “do more!”….

Let me die first or I will die twice -Atticus

No matter who I might become Or who I've been before I will always be yours

| The time in your life can go by in the blink of an eye.

NO IM NOT DONE. i need to talk about the whole lightning strike scene because it's just so much. like actually SO MUCH. like eddie was literally thrown back, had likely sustained a head injury, but he didn't waste one second to scramble up the ladder the moment he saw buck hanging there. i just can't believe how eddie, composed soldier eddie who ALWAYS finds it in himself to be calm in similar situations or shuts down when faced with his loved ones in danger, not only scrambled up the ladder, but SCREAMED the whole way up. we never have EVER seen him this distraught and the way he tried to fucking PULL BUCK UP BY HIS OWN HANDS WITH A SINGLE ROPE. like he HAD to know it was impossible yet he had to try. and the scream he let out when he realized he couldn't do it on his own, that he had to lower buck to the floor, had to put bucks life into the hands of other people, like jesus. and then he fucking pushed BOBBY out of the way. like okay that might not mean much for other characters but this is eddie. eddie who loves bobby just as much as the others but always respected him and his authority more. this is eddie, who has deep ties to authority, as a soldier, as a medic, as a man with a neglectful father. and he pushes him out of the way to get to buck, while yelling "talk to me" because he doesn't know. he doesn't know his best friends heart stopped and he's the only one to not know that cause he wasn't there when hen shouted "no pulse". THATS why bobby tells him to drive, not only bc he knows eddie needs distraction or he'll fall apart, but bc no one else can do it. then he goes and RESTARTS BUCKS HEART. not only does he push chim out the way, showing again how he will do anything to get to buck, but actually, literally, canonically gets bucks heart beating again BY HIS OWN HANDS. that's the most insane shit i've ever heard. genuinely. THEN he yells at the staff to "DO MORE" even tho as a medic he knows what it's like to do everything for your patient but he couldn't just not. cause it's buck and buck can't die. buck CANNOT die. i need someone to hit me with their car i can't deal with this.

my family reacts to The Scene

911 writers about buck

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