#19 year old me would kill me for saying this bc she HATED when people said ''stop trying'' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

captainninej · 3 years

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my literary analysis of a rhysand stan/apologist got deleted, so here it is again bc i'm proud of it lol

lets pick this apart shall we

Before Feyre accepted the mating bond, Rhys was extremely upfront about why he did, what he did UTM. there were no lies or anything.

rhys being upfront about why he did what he did does not change the gravity of his action. a murderer confessing to murder isn't suddenly absolved of their crime - they still killed someone. the same principle applies here. he can be all moany and wishy washy as he likes, but he still did it.

He said 2 important things: the first was "I made the bargain so u wouldn't fuckin die and I needed Amarantha to think that you were my play thing" and the second was "I wanted to make Tamlin angry because he's the reason my sister and mother were slaughtered" and TBH??? Same bitch??

i see this around a lot, that rhys made the bargain with feyre so she would survive. but this falls apart pretty quickly when you start to wonder: how did parading around feyre and drugging her so she vomits and dressing her in pretty much nothing help her survive?? would she have died if he hadn't done that? probably not. none of it was necessary - not the clothes, not the drugging, not the trauma, not the twisting her broken arm. also, rhys didn't do it to save her life - in the same monologue you're talking about, he literally says he made the bargain 'to get back at [tamlin] for my mother and sister, and for...having you.' and that feyre was so hateful of him, somehow this meant he 'knew he had done his job well.' what job???

think about it. why did he need amarantha to believe feyre was his plaything? what did this prove? what did it contribute to freeing them?

If my mama and sister were slaughtered because of you I would literally do anything in my power to make u suffer??? Even if that meant parading your bitch around as my own?? Might I mention that Rhys didn't make Feyre do anything more than dance for him??

umm...

i'm not going to pretend any of us will know how we would act in that situation. but that's another conversation - what matters here is feyre. FEYRE DOESN'T KNOW ANY OF THIS. SHE IS AN INNOCENT THIRD PARTY HERE. regardless of personal history, rhys has no business implicating an innocent HUMAN girl in his beef with tamlin. that's between them, and it does nothing to change the ugliness of how he treated feyre. 'parading your bitch' hi the misogyny is showing

also 'rhys didn't make feyre do anything more than dance for him' and that's okay?? oh as long as it didn't go further than roofying, lap dancing without consent and dressing in cobwebs, it's fine?? i worry for you

Because like if I'm being completely honest I'd probably do worse??

i'm not even sure what to say to that

And Rhys was actually protecting her from more of Amaranthas weird ass punishments?? Like idk guys if you're anti rhys maybe ACOTAR just isn't for you and you can leave it at that.

was he? i would argue going through what rhys put feyre through was a form of punishment in of itself.

also, so if i don't like rhys acotar isn't for me...got it, acotar is for people who think this behaviour is acceptable. i'll make a note to stay away from them and keep them away from young children.

just a tip: when someone picks up a book, especially a popular one like this, they don't know what's in it before they read it. can you imagine a rape survivor reading through these books, seeing what rhys did to feyre, and then have to go through his explanations justifying all of it?? and have feyre forgive him?? what kind of message does that send??

Another point that's brought up a lot within the fandom is "choices" and how Tamlin didn't give Feyre choices, but Rhys did. And while I think that might be a point stressed in the novels, I don't think Feyre falling for Rhys is supremely entwined with "choices". I think what Rhysand gave Feyre more than Tamlin did was a voice and knowledge.

someone saying 'it's your choice' over and over while not giving you a choice doesn't make it any more true. just saying. you can say that rhys gave her knowledge and a voice, but two things: rhys only told feyre what he wanted to if it would serve his own purposes, see: him not telling her that he was using her as bait for the attor in acomaf, him not telling her about the mating bond, him not telling her that her own pregnancy will kill her. and the second: feyre doesn't need to be 'given' a voice. she has one. a voice is not something a woman needs to be given by a man, especially not some 500 year old creepo with a god complex.

Rhysand would tell her straight up, "look I can't tell you this unless you do this" and that's more an ultimatum than a choice. And we can go over the dynamics of ultimatums but Rhysand never bullshitted Feyre (ACOSF isn't canon oops) and ALWAYS heard her out. Rhysand always told her the dynamics of a situation. And more importantly, it was Feyres fuckin decision, and also it's fucking fiction so just be honest and say u don't ship it rather than trying to tank Rhys as a character.

um...and that's better than a choice? the fuck? think of the power in that sentence, that he wouldn't tell her something unless she did something. why does he have the right to withhold information from her?? why does she have to earn it, if they're such a pOwEr cOuPLe? rhysand's entire ARC is bullshitting feyre. he never once apologised for his behaviour. he only justified it while crying into soup. so if you don't want acosf to be canon, you know that rhys bullshitted feyre. you know that hiding medical information from her was a dick move. but it was completely in character for him if you notice the patterns in his behaviour right from the beginning of their relationship.

when did rhys tell her the dynamics of the situation?? when he traumatised her to beef with tamlin when she was human? when he made her agree to a bond for eternity when she was canonically with tamlin and was in no place to say no to the bargain? when he didn't tell her they were mates but told all his friends? when he used her as bait for the attor? when he hid her OWN PREGNANCY INFORMATION from her and told all his friends?

And more importantly, it was Feyres fuckin decision, and also it's fucking fiction so just be honest and say u don't ship it rather than trying to tank Rhys as a character.

you literally just proved yourself wrong in one sentence. 'it's feyre's decision and also it's fucking fiction' my dude you're right feyre is not a real person so you know who's making these decisions? the author. you know what the role of fiction is? to tell a story and spread messages, even unintentionally. people are reading this relationship and are guided to think that it's okay when it is literally textbook abuser behaviour. this shit has consequences. i read these books at 13 and didn't see a flaw in rhys' behaviour because the author told me not to and because i was too young to have any experience with relationships. i'm 19 now and i'm horrified to look back on these books i once loved.

you sound a lot like rhys there, 'it's feyre's choice'. no it wasn't. it was the author's choice to depict the relationship like this. all of us are being honest you fuckwit this is more than not liking a ship, it's pointing out alarming behaviour from a character who is portrayed as a hero.

i don't need to tank rhys as a character. the author and the fandom did it for me.

#anti rhysand #anti rhys #anti feysand #anti sjm #anti acotar

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sovpologist · 3 years

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hi, genuine question! I want to like Mara, but d2 lore shows her, in my eyes, as selfish and cruel, set on her own goal with no consideration for others. At least that's what I got from marasenna lorebook.

Why is she liked by so many in community? I feel like I'm overlooking something over things I mentioned above, but I would appreciate a perspective from someone who likes her character! If it's okay to ask!

its totally okay to ask!! this is going to be a long post so im going to put it under a readmore :)

i just want to stress first that mara is like.... widely disliked by many in the community. it used to be very unpopular to like her and if you even said anything remotely positive about her, people would reply to your posts and send you anons about how you were a terrible person for liking such a manipulative and toxic character. it was only recently that community opinion kind of started to shift, and people started to actually appreciate her character as nuanced and interesting. i definitely dont think this is because of me or anything crazy like that, but ive tried to correct misconceptions about her and cultivate a space on my blog at least where people can just openly like mara and not feel like they have to qualify it by constantly assuring people that they know mara's done bad things too (because literally every character in d2 has done bad things, and somehow people understand that liking the uldren doesnt mean you support him killing cayde but cant apply that same concept to mara for some reason). ok, im getting off my soapbox now and im going to just talk about why i like her.

mara is genuinely just such a fascinating character to me. reading the marasenna im really struck by how alone she is, even as a 19 year old human. her mom has essentially abandoned her and says that she's mara's friend but not her mother, and mara's father is never mentioned, so mara literally has no parental guidance or supervision or love. this puts a lot more of her pre-awoken actions into context, such as her not knowing how to interact with people and preferring to keep herself away from the rest of the crew. everyone mara loves leaves her. her mom stays in the distributary, uldren is distant in his efforts to impress and surprise her and then dies, and sjur dies too.

i also love mara's character arc, although it kind of makes me sad. mara is so painfully human in the earlier parts of the marasenna. she's awkward, she's lonely, she thinks her and uldren's secret language is "cool," she gets embarassed at her mom's embarrassing petnames, she hero-worships alis li and listens to her advice. watching her lose all of this and crystalize into a queen is so interesting. remember, mara didn't go out into the fight between the darkness and the traveler bc she knew she would gain power and create the awoken, its stated that she went out there to die. so a 19 year old just trying to die peacefully ends up witnessing firsthand the power of the dark and light and being tasked with essentially creating a new species, knowing that one day she wants to go back and fight the darkness. she becomes such a politician and has to scheme and plot and really loses her humanity while following ALIS' advice- alis was the one who told her that people need a mascot, not a friend. this also makes for a really interesting scene where alis grants mara one favor, and instead of asking for political power, even though mara is such an intensely political and scheming person, she tells alis the truth about the awoken and asks for forgiveness. alis, who mara looked up to, doesnt forgive her, and mara really internalizes this and starts to permantantly close herself off. mara made herself into a queen and lost her humanity in the process. there's a couple people who see the real her, like sjur, but even sjur doesnt really understand her. but her relationship with sjur is also so well written and interesting, sjur being the one person she lets herself drop her mask around and just act human. i made a post about this once, but even mara's speech patterns change around sjur, becoming much more casual and "normal." however, at the same time, mara's mask/persona is a part of her character, and one that i love. people hate her for being "mean," but i like characters like that. mara doesnt take any shit, even from the protagonist, and has her own plans and goals that she doesn't feel obligated to share or change for other people. she's ambitious, sticks to her guns, and doesn't allow other people to influence her.

you say she's selfish, and i think it is easy to brush her off as selfish and doing everything for her own gain, but there's a lot of subtext and outright text in the marasenna and other lore that shows mara genuinely believes that the only way to fight the darkness is to become a being on the same level as the darkness and the traveler. she doesn't let the awoken become immortal gods, which some people regard as a bad thing, but she did that for a reason. mara understands that a people who are eternal and ageless will never grow as people, and she knew that the darkness wanted them to just be complacently sitting aside in their little realm while it does whatever it wants. mara wasn't going to let that happen, and knew she had to find a way to encourage people to leave paradise. you can dislike the way she went about this, essentially encouraging conflict and war among her people, but she did not just do it for her own gain or amusement. mara has also been hated on for starting the reef war/firing a missile at the house of wolves, people act like she did that just for fun too, but the eliksni fleet was heading to conquer earth. instead of just hiding and building up her own resources, which wouldve been the logical thing to do in this situation, mara put her own fleet and power on the line to draw the eliksni's attention away and help earth. she doesn't do things solely bc they benefit her, but because she genuinely loves and wants to help earth. her uncaring persona is a mask, the thing that she feels she needs to be for people to have faith in her.

i have more to say but this is already so long and ive said a lot, so i'll end it here :) at the end of the day, some people are just not going to like mara and thats totally fine. she's not everyone's type, bc she IS ambitious and manipulative and sometimes cruel. i just wish she didnt get a disproportionate amount of hate for being like that when i know for a fact that if she was a male character she would not get this much hate, and i wish that people could just dislike her normally without lying about her or misinterpreting her character and motivations. but if you dont like her, you dont like her! sometimes we just dislike characters, sometimes for well thought out reasons snad sometimes just for no reason! thats completely fine, as long as you're respectful!!

#long post #ask #i did not read this over again before i hit post so if anything is grammatically weird just ignore it #and if its hard to understand just send another message and ill try to explain #tldr; misunderstood gay asshole with a heart of gold? SIGN ME UP

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shinhatigf · 3 years

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a little bit insane ahsoka and luke au

the lovely @picazos-angsty-typist inspired me to just post my au ideas as opposed to giving them away, and this one is my absolute favorite! it's an au in which 19 year old ahsoka finds the time travel crystal from the lego star wars christmas special and is transported onto tatooine right before a new hope. then she gets to go along through the original trilogy and be best friends with luke! (this is honestly just an extremely convoluted way to get my favorite characters to be best friends. this au is for me <3.) extremely long elaborations and plot stuff in bullet points under the cut:

okay so 19 year old ahsoka! it would be about 2 years post order 66 and about 6-8 months since the ending of the ahsoka novel, so she's traveling the world and doing fulcrum things, attempting to build a rebellion with bail organa. this, naturally, means she needs to hide from the empire.

because it needs to be life day for the crystal to work, that's the day this all starts (in ahsoka's original timeline). ahsoka finds out randomly that it's life day, and has a moment remembering the day before order 66, before the empire.

she gets into a skirmish with the empire close by kordoku, the planet with the time travel stone on it. she feels a pull from the force, like there's a safe haven on the planet below, so she lands and immediately knows why: she's in front of a jedi temple. she knows she'll be safe inside from the empire. she walks in, and seals the temple with the force

she picks up the weird rock thing in the middle of the room, as it's singing to her through the force. the second she touches it, a wormhole opens up, and she's dropped directly in the middle of a tatooinian sandstorm.

we the audience know that she's time traveled, but ahsoka has no clue. and as I'm assuming she doesn't have much experience wandering ancient abandoned jedi temples (in her time, very recently, they'd been populated and upkept), she wouldn't suspect she was hallucinating. she assumed the rock somehow teleported her, but the sand and the wind of the sandstorm make it impossible for her to find the rock. where before it had been singing to her through the force, she couldn't feel anything now.

she has no choice but to try and find shelter from the storm and wait it out. she finds a sort of cave, a small hideout, so she sets up her small camp. having nothing else to do, she opens herself up to the force to meditate, hoping to locate the rock and find more information about her new situation. however, she instead discovers something she wasn't expecting: the faint and utterly familiar force prescence of one obi-wan kenobi

it feels damaged and weak, almost as if he'd cut himself off from the force somewhat, but there was no denying that it was obi-wan. ahsoka thanked the force for sending her to the rock, as she assumes it had just sent her to obi-wan and nothing else.

during this force meditation, she also discovers the planet that she's on is tatooine. this heavily reminds her of anakin, hearing echoes of their conversation as they crossed the desert from what seems like a million years ago.

once the storm settles, she makes her way through the tatooinian desert, and just as the suns are coming up and she knows she would need to find shelter, she happens upon the Lars farm.

she meets Owen and Beru Lars and their nephew, Luke. they are kind and good people, and do not hesitate to offer ahsoka a place to stay + some food and water. ahsoka rests up somewhat, but insists on helping them in return.

this part I haven't quite nailed out yet. tatooine side quest featuring ahsoka and luke doing whatever one does on a moisture farm. I assume ahsoka would offer technological help as she's a good mechanic (perks of master skywalker) so maybe they're going around and fixing vaporators?

that day and into the night, she and luke really hit it off. she learns more about tatooine and more about how they've been affect by the war. however from the way luke talks about it, the empire has been around as long as he can remember. this strikes ahsoka as extremely odd, and wonders what else is going on, but fixing things doesn't leave much room for another galaxy warping revelation, so she doesn't dwell on it immediately.

she and luke discuss kind of everything. they become buddies bc that's important to me. the next day, she tells them she's looking for obi-wan kenobi. "do you know someone named obi-wan kenobi?" luke does his little "do you think she means old ben kenobi?" number which is fun n nostalgic hehe.

owen seems to freeze. he hasn't heard that name in quite some time, and it doesn't exactly conjure pleasant memories. he reluctantly agrees to let luke point her in the right direction, and she buys a speeder from them (they try to give it to her but she insists on paying. ahsoka ftw)

ahsoka manages to avoid the tuskens on her way into the jundland wastes and runs into.... this really old dude. this is when she really has to confront the time travel of it all. she and obi-wan have a Talk. there's still a little bad blood between them considering obi-wan was on the council that condemned her without remorse or apology, but they're both so relieved to see the other alive.

ahsoka learns that it's been 19 years since order 66, since the empire took over. she remembers the day it happened, what only feels like 2 years ago to her.

she mentions that luke helped her find him, and obi-wan freezes. this obviously gets noticed by ahsoka, and obi-wan drops the real bomb on her: luke is anakin and padmé's son. obi-wan tells her that anakin died in order 66 and padmé died with the rebellion, that he's here both to hide out and to protect luke. she remarks in her head that the whole chosen one thing is ridiculous, that pinning the entire galaxy's hopes on a nineteen year old kid that up until now obi-wan has refused to even CONSIDER training (skywalker trauma lolz) but she can sense the strong emotions from him, that he wouldn't have it in him to stand up to the empire alone, so she drops it.

as to how padmé died: i hate the way that she dies in the prequels so I am deleting it. this is my canon. she actually survives and stays with the rebellion for a good 3-5 years before she's killed in a rebel vs. empire conflict. ahsoka is especially devastated to learn about her death from obi-wan (who bail organa risked communication with to tell him, as he was also close with padmé).

she and obi-wan spar, both to get Ahsoka's mind off of the everything about this situation and because it's been so long since either of them have been around another jedi. it's cathartic for both of them. (ahsoka beats obi-wan easily btw haha)

obi-wan offers to officially knight her as a jedi knight, as that was what the council had intended after the whole fiasco and he says "you're just as experienced and powerful as I was when I was knighted." but ahsoka declines. she isn't ready to be considered a jedi yet, and may never be.

this is when a new hope really starts. obi-wan and ahsoka find luke unconscious in the jundland wastes, and that sequence goes pretty much the same. r2 is beeping and trilling like crazy because ahsoka!!!!!! that's one of his best friends!!!!!!! luke is like "you know this droid?" and ahsoka freezes, because how exactly does she explain to the nice dude she met yesterday that actually she's from 17 years in the past and was very close with both of his parents, who both were extremely close to r2?

she does in fact explain all of that to him when they get to obi-wan's house. she has no idea how she got here or why, but she did know anakin skywalker and padmé amidala naberrie, and tells him as much as she remembers about them. luke misses both of his parents like an ache in his chest, wishing more than anything he could have known them.

obi-wan offers his own perspective on it, and tells how anakin died (which ahsoka is just as eager to know). obi-wan, on the spot, says that another jedi fell to the dark side and joined sidious, and that anakin died defending the temple. (he obviously couldn't say that vader was his pupil, because ahsoka would see through that immediately.)

luke asks why he couldn't have lived with his mother in the rebellion, but obi-wan says that she wanted him to be safe from the galactic conflict and stay with anakin's family. (which is partially true, but the whole sith-sensing-the-overly-powerful-skywalkers was a big factor as well.) obi-wan says he's truly sorry that luke never got to know her.

after learning about the message r2 brought, ahsoka knows she has to get to the rebellion however possible and rejoin the fight. obi-wan agrees, and gives his little elevator pitch to luke about becoming a jedi and joining the rebellion. when obi-wan gives luke the lightsaber, a million memories with anakin flash through ahsoka's head. luke still comes to same conclusion at the end of that conversation: he's willing to guide them out of tatooine, but he can't join the galactic conflict, at least not now.

however, as they're leaving, they find the destroyed jawa crawler. luke, as before, realizes it means the stormtroopers found his family. ahsoka knows that only despair waits there for him, and urges him not to go, but when he doesn't back down hops in the speeder with him (for protection and emotional support).

luke gets to have more emotions about the fact that the empire killed his /entire family./ ahsoka doesn't try and use it to convince him to go, only offers to help him bury them. she openly uses the force to move things around and make things easier, while luke is still in shock, almost numb. they're buried next to shmi and cliegg.

luke is ANGRY at the empire. he is PISSED. he decides to go with them to fight not because he longs for adventure, but because he wants to hit the empire where it hurts. ahsoka can recognize that isn't the thought process of a jedi, but she feels the exact same way after learning about anakin and padmé.

now it's mos eisley time. i feel like han would definitely like/admire ahsoka at first, but ahsoka would not like him. she finds him deplorable and a little annoying, and joins in on the whole bagging on the falcon jokes. this leads to han getting his feelings hurt and he's like fine :( we are not friends then >:(.

the interesting thing is that chewie and ahsoka actually know each other! they were both kidnapped by bossk and hunted for sport in that one clone wars arc, so they're both like "oh hey person who was there for one of the most terrifying and traumatic times in my life! what's up!" they become fast friends yet again, and chewie is like "wow you did not age at all. are you sure you're not a wookiee?"

on the millennium falcon, she and obi-wan get started on luke's training. he asks her about his parents constantly (what they were like, what they did, where they came from, etc). she also talks about what the jedi were like (providing a less rose-colored-glasses perspective, but still with a lot of positives).

she feel the same pain obi-wan does right before they get to alderaan, and can feel bail and breha organa in particular (having known them fairly well after the ahsoka novel).

they get pulled into the death star's tractor beam. ahsoka can feel the cold and horrible presence of vader, a sick dread building in her the closer they get to it. they go to hide under the floorboards of the falcon. han knows how the empire operates better than anyone, which ahsoka is shocked to learn is much different than the Republic or the empire she remembers. (i imagine she lived in a more transitional period, so while the empire was terrible during her time, they were only getting started.)

she tries to go with obi-wan to shut off the power beam, but obi-wan still does his "I must go alone" little number. sensing the end of something, but not what it is, she hugs him goodbye. he's still obi-wan and she missed him dreadfully. he tells her to protect luke.

she along with luke refuses to indulge han's obi-wan slander, and when han says "great at getting us into trouble!" she says "you should have met anakin."

then it's princess rescue time as it should be. that goes exactly the same except ahsoka is much better at defending them from the stormtroopers lol. leia still does the blasting and "somebody has to save our skins!" line because I love that

ahsoka can tell immediately that leia is padmé's daughter. she had probably heard of leia, being in the rebellion for about six months before time traveling, but now having met her it's completely obvious. she doesn't vocalize this immediately though, planning to discuss it with obi-wan.

yes I'm keeping the garbage monster scene because I think it's funny :)

ahsoka goes with han and chewie after the stormtroopers while luke and leia head for the ship. also ahsoka + han banter because I think it's funny

she can see obi-wan and vader's fight (which I'm hoping will be a lot more like their fight in rots. a new hope is incredible but the lightsaber fights got way better as time went on. their final fight deserves to be epic). she tries to run and help obi-wan but luke pulls her back. "he can handle it," he says. "we need you to help us get to the falcon."

however when obi-wan is killed, both of them are distraught. his voice appears in ahsoka's head, telling her not to face vader yet, telling her to run. chewie literally has to hold her back and carry her to the ship.

they blast their way out of the death star, none of them having the time to dwell on what just happened.

ahsoka and luke are both numb. luke lost 3 parental figures in one day, and obi-wan's death after going through order 66 just brings it allll up again. leia is also hanging out in the numb dead parents circle, because her entire planet got blown up today and obi-wan's death just feels like another nail in the coffin. all three of them can sort of feel each other's emotions, and unconsciously they're comforting each other with the force. it's a healing moment for all three of them

han is kind of awkwardly standing in the background. "there wasn't anything any of you could have done," he says, in a rare show of emotion. (i like han wanting to help them despite his i-don't-care-about-anything facade.)

this doesn't stop him from saying he's only in it for the money later though. leia gets to blow up at him about it same as in the movie because she deserves it methinks.

they make it to the rebellion, and a few of the people who've been in it from the beginning recognize her (mon mothma maybe?). I also like the idea of ahsoka being something of rebellion legend, having been one of the last jedi who presumably died fighting the empire for the rebellion.

also general hera syndulla gets to be there bc i love her. she is the one who shows the plans to the pilots and explains the plan. she also references the rogue one crew because i love them also.

ahsoka in an x-wing with the red team attempting to blow up the death star. when vader makes an appearance, she can sense him in the starfighter nearby them, the same cold and evil presence. she personally goes to fight vader and defends the rest of the team from him, somehow falling into a perfect rhythm and anticipating every move. she doesn't kill him obviously, but she gets close. the things that happen stay the same: they sustain heavy casualties, she survives the battle, han comes back to save the day, luke is the one who blows up the death star.

luke, han, chewie, and ahsoka get medals in the end, because each of them were instrumental in the blowing up of the death star (and a lot more pilots survive thanks to Ahsoka's defense). there are references to the phineas and ferb star wars special because I want it.

there's a bit after the official end of a new hope in which she's talking to Luke like "I can't stay. this isn't my timeline. I have to go back. and if I can go back, maybe I can try and save the jedi. maybe I can fix things." however luke changes her mind. "maybe you're in this timeline for a reason. maybe NOW is when you can change things. I would've died without you in the battle of yavin. plus, how am I supposed to become a jedi without you?" luke + leia + han + chewie + r2 + 3po all convince her to stay. they are all very attached to ahsoka at this point, and ahsoka realizes she doesn't really want to leave them either.

also. because the battle is over and they all have a moment to breathe, she tells leia that she's positive she's padmé and anakin's daughter too, not just because of the physical resemblence but also her force sensitivity. there's no doubt about it.

ahsoka agrees to train both of them in what she knows, though she warns that she wasn't a master or even a knight.

it ends with the whole crew hanging out on the falcon (han, leia, luke, chewie, r2, c-3po, and ahsoka)

those are my bullet points for the episode IV section of this! if people want to see where this goes in the rest of the trilogy let me know I have so many notes about this au

also tagging: @togrutanduin @padme--amygdala @bisexualobiwanrights @grimthejedisith @senator-nahberries you get to watch me lose my mind in real time <3

#word count: 3.0k #and this is only the first installment if I ever write this it's going to be so long #the original trilogy #ahsoka tano #luke skywalker #it's loving ahsoka hours #luke is my favorite himbo #my writing #? never used that tag before maybe I should?#ryn dot fic #ryn dot text

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anakinthetrashking · 4 years

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BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt2)

I AM HERE! With more recs for you! The last post was all about DadMight, such a beautiful genre *wipes tear from eye* This time its DADZAWA! if you happen to follow me, you might know that i really really(really) love Aizawa. a lot. So im going to try to keep this to only 10 recs, but,, well,,,, we’ll see anyway leTS GO

Aches and Pains by Badwolf36 Rating: G Category: Gen ~2700 words Summary: In which Izuku isn't willing to admit how much pain he's in, and Mr. Aizawa is just as much of a softie for his students as he always is. I’m always SO WEAK to stories that deal with the very real consequences of breaking all of your bones. Poor Izuku. I enjoyed the details of how he’s feeling, the way that the reader’s awareness of his pain waxes and wanes along with Izuku’s (temporary distractions can only do so much, A+ for realism there). Also, soft Dadzawa while not mushy-ooc-Aizawa! Conclusion: I love this and also want Aizawa to make me hot cocoa when there’s storms and i cant sleep!! (sidenote, everytime i see this username my brain shorts out bc my old ff.net account was also Badwolf## lol)

My Neighbor Shouta-ro by Hound_of_Heaven Rating: G Category: Gen ~2,700 words Summary: Yamada Hizashi, on Christmas Eve of the year he turns 19, jokingly presents Aizawa Shouta, also 19, with a Totoro kigurumi. Everything that follows after is pure chance. Heeeeeeeeeck this is ADORABLE. I- You guys- this is so pure and so precious and so!! go read it, i died. such fluff.

constrained by my own mind (im not fine) by CamsthiSky (tumblr: @camsthisky ) Rating: G Category: Gen ~1,500 words Summary: Midoriya Izuku is a problem child, and for some reason, Aizawa Shouta cares too much to let him fend for himself when the kid is obviously dealing with something First of all this is written by one of my fav Batfam writers!!! I was so hype when i saw this posted and OF COURSE IT WAS JUST AS WONDERFUL IF NOT MORE SO THAN I EXPECTED!!!! A+++++ in character for both Izuku and Aizawa. Izuku is jumpy and anxious and stressed and i love it. That the way Izuku started out, and while i am eternally happy at how much his life and social reactions have already changed, stuff like that doesnt just disappear in even a year, so I love fics that address that and expound on all the progress that he would have to make behind the scenes. and having Aizawa as the catalyst to begin getting actual help? *chef’s kiss* This checks boxes and then proceeds to cover the page in checkmarks LOL

remember from here on in by aloneintherain (tumblr: @captainkirkk ) Rating: T Category: Gen ~8000 words warning: spoiler heavy from manga chp 215 Summary: Aizawa glances from All Might to Midoriya quickly. It sounds impossible—he’s never heard of a quirk that can be handed down like a family heirloom—but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. Midoriya’s inability to use his quirk at the start of the year. The strange, familial relationship between All Might and Midoriya. The slow malnourishment of All Might’s body, like his power was being siphoned away. “You’re …” Aizawa begins.“I’m All Might’s successor.” Midoriya’s proud but shaky voice rings clearly down the empty corridor. Aizawa finds out about One for All. Awwwwwwww yiiiiiiiissssssssss!!!!! reveal fic!!!! one of my all time fav tropes!!! Plus it expounds on some future theorys/possibilities(Spoilers!!!) and you get some great interactions between Izuku and Shinsou, and plenty of opportunities taken to wear out our already worn out catepillar-sensei. poor guy needs a break but would do anything for these kids. Incredible characterization, great feels!!

Those Hardest to Love Need it Most by DancingintheStorm Rating: T Category: Gen ~8,200 words Summary: Shouta gripped the phone tight enough to make the phone case groan. “So it’s true. Midoriya was Quirkless.”“Until soon before the entrance exam,” Nedzu confirmed. “That’s not relevant now, though, because—““Relevant?” Shouta hissed. “Midoriya is barely functional, socially. He doesn’t trust any adult. He thinks the whole world hates him. He apologizes for everything except breaking the law, and I’m sure I can trace every single one of those things back to his Quirklessness. You call that irrelevant?” Aizawa visits Aldera Junior High and finds out some disturbing truths. Yes. Just. Yes. Righteous anger abounds, local anxiety-child is told for the first time that his life has worth, more at 10 (I LOVE THIS ONEEE)

The Gaunlet and friendships and how memes tie the two together by averypassionateperson Rating: T Category: Gen ~3,500 words Summary: Shinsou walks into his first day in the Hero Course hoping to get politely ignored. He walks out having gotten into a sanctioned fistfight with the entire Bakusquad and a whole lot of new friendships. Also, memes are responsible for most of this. This fic is SOOOOOOOOO much fun. Always sure to bring a smile and honestly all I could want from a fic about Shinsou’s first day in 1A!!!

like light through a window by achievingelysium (tumblr: @queenangst ) Rating: T Category: Gen 1,139 words Summary: The first time Shouta sees what Hagakure looks like, it’s because she’s covered in blood. Coming from one of the best Dadzawa writers around, is a delightfully haunting fic centered on Hagakure!! The Dazawa is of course, spot on, the premise makes your heart ache as it plays out like a movie in your mind. So smooth to read, while so emotionally painful. Ouch. It is a fic with imagery that has stuck in my mind like a plant with deep roots, bc i keep thinking about it despite my too-much-fanfic-reading-adhd-muddled-brain. I feel like i had more to say but tumglr erased the paragraph i had originally written. D: (side note, as i am keeping these posts to 10 fics... this fic came from her series of 30 min fics which you can find here on tumblr ao3 its an absolute goldmine of one-shots, go check it out)

a frozen pond, dark and deep by walking_through_autumn Rating: T Category: Gen ~3,800 words Summary: In the aftermath of Endeavour's battle against High End, Aizawa escorts Todoroki to his home for special leave, and they have a conversation that has been long in the making. (Or: Over two car rides and the mystery known as bubble tea, Aizawa divulges information, Todoroki returns the favour, and trust is built over unexpected similarities.) This fic felt just as quiet as the two characters it surrounds, which was really nice. Even deep emotional grieving can be quiet, since everyone feels things and reacts to things differently. It was a brilliant way to chip away at these character’s walls to let light shine through without creating an earthquake event to destroy the walls completely, you know? and it works off of canon so well. ah yes seeing the process of Aizawa realizing that hes has adopted another child is my fav anyhow i enjoyed it very much!

but still my heart is heavy (with the hate of some other man’s beliefs) by honeyandsunshine Rating: T Category: Gen ~3,500 words Summary: Nemuri jerks a thumb to the side window, presumably the one with the best view of the front gates. When Shouta looks, a small crowd, all of which he can recognize from his class, are gathered around a sleazy looking man with a camera and a microphone. Half their quirks are activated. Bakugou and Todoroki are smoking. From the bushes nearby, a rather enraged stag emerges. As he gets up, Shouta just hopes they haven’t already killed him. Or:Class 1-A defends their own. Aizawa suffers, but looks after them anyways. I love how this doesn’t go the way you expect it to. and how much Aizawa loves and trusts his class full of gremlin heroes. The Dadzawa is so soft, his logic is sound, my heart aches, and i kinda want to cry. really, really, really great you guys

bend, don’t break by heyhamlet (tumblr: @hey-hamlet ) Rating: T Category: Gen ~4,100 words Summary: It started, as it always seemed to, on what was supposed to be a pleasant day. ---A Christmas shopping attempt gone wrong, Aizawa and Midoriya have to survive a strange nightmare quirk, all while trying to work out how to get out of there alive. Aizawa is injured, Midoriya is panicked. It's less a question of what could go wrong, but more what could go right. Another fic that has not left my soul since i read it. Some of it is truly terrifying in a way that I hope never haunts my own nightmares. and honestly isnt that reason enough to read it? While near death experiences bond people together well, nothing beats being trapped with someone in a nightmare that is feeding off of your deepest fears! If Aizawa wasn’t considering adoption before, he certainly is now. Found family before the monster finds you...0.o go read it, its a treat from another top notch writer!

well, thats 10! the next post will probably be misc. bnha one-shots. Enjoy and don’t forget to give the writers your souls love and comments!

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dianapocalypse · 3 years

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Alright y’all, with the release of Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, it’s time for me to share my playlist for the entire trilogy.

I’ve refined this over like six years so scientifically speaking it’s probably good right. oh also it’s four hours long. so if you have a road trip or a boring job, this one’s for you. disclaimer, it’s entirely possible I have garbage taste in music. I also missed some characters and moments because there’s 65 songs here and I am merely human.

If you don’t have the patience for four hours, I recommend starting at track 45 and listening to the end, as the Mass Effect 3 portion is the strongest in my opinion.

UNDER THE CUT FOR DESCRIPTIONS WE GO!

FIRST MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 1

1. Atlas - Coldplay Eden Prime

“Sometimes the wire Must tense for the note Caught in the fire, say oh We're about to explode“

I really like the atmosphere of this song. It’s ominous, but also somehow hopeful, and makes me feel like Something Huge Is Coming.

2. I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song - Constantines Paragon Shepard

“But I was also born and raised To always speak and listen clear To know the last sound that I make Could be the last sound that I hear“

OK, listen, I think this song is about vampires, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a metaphor or not. But I think this is a great song about controlling one’s temper, about knowing that you have to Rise Above the parts of you that want to lash out sometimes to get things done and have peace. Seeing as how paragon Shepard, to me, always seems like they’re three deep breaths away from snapping, but manage to keep it in check, it fits them to a T.

And also maybe they’re a vampire.

3. Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley Renegade Shepard

“So I let the rumors Turn me into a legend 'Cause I'm only human But a good myth is hard to kill”

This one’s a recent addition, but holy cow, I love it for Renegade Shep, particularly an Earthborn or Ruthless, but it works for any of them.

4. We Own the Skies - Five Iron Frenzy Joker

“My hands are bleeding where they often crack The stars will sometimes burn with longing Through the choking black Of night shifts piling each against the next”

This really vibes with Joker’s backstory for me, his super driven serious self in flight school, contrasted with who he is when he can fly a ship. He’s the best pilot in the goddamn fleet and I love him.

5. I Just Wanna See - Smash Mouth Kaidan Alenko

“Mister moon checkin' on how y'all livin' The stars all winkin' at the day that's dimmin' I just wanna see”

This song fits into his reactions to first showing up at the Citadel and his former romanticism about living in space. Ironically, it’s a song about Earth, but I feel like it works well for him. Also, Smash Mouth absolutely sounds like the kind of music Kaidan would listen to, no I will not be taking questions or constructive criticism.

6. Don’t Give Up - Noisettes Ashley Williams

“She's got a talented face and a suitcase Ain't got no desire to go no place In her case she's got no desire with her hand in the flame say's she don't feel the fire “

The energy of this song is just perfect for Ashley’s no-nonsense chip on her shoulder attitude.

7. About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All - Dan Mangan The Council

“I was thrown in the boat/Cast out to sea Friendly with waves/There were sharks below Hungry for me/So I dangled my leg”

I mean, the title says it all.

8. The Captain - Guster Anderson

“Courageous, just like the captain Marching forward with no doubt in his head”

I have adored this song ever since my friend played it for me, and it’s the ultimate mentor-protégé jam for me.

9. Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers Garrus Vakarian

“Here's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger Oh, with every move he makes another chance he takes The odds are he won't live to see tomorrow”

I have to poke a little fun at Garrus and how seriously he takes himself in Mass Effect 1. I romanced him across four playthrus, I’m allowed!

10. I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit - Kill Lincoln Urdnot Wrex

“This random apathy/I swear it's killing me But I guess it's all the same, till the devil knows my name”

I don’t know ANYTHING about this band, but this song fits Wrex’s disillusionment with the Krogan well, plus, like. The title. (And also, that he secretly DOES care what happens to the Krogan.)

11. Bird Song - Juniper Vale Tali’zorah nar Rayya

“I want to dance on the horizon line But there is something I am caged behind I have a heart made for take flight But I'm low, so low”

I adore this song and the sound of Juniper Vale in general. The etherealness of this one, combined with the youthful optimism, feels very Tali. The line about ‘something I am caged behind’ works well for the suits, too. This one’s especially good if you’re a Talimancer!

12. 11. Green Garden - Laura Mvula Liara T’Soni

“And I’ll fly on the wings of a butterfly High as a tree top and down again Putting my bag down, taking my shoes off Walk on the carpet of green velvet”

I really like this song’s vibes and I feel like Liara fits it well, particularly in ME1, before all her youthful optimism is stripped from her. The scenery descriptions feel very Thessia, too.

13. Feed Me (Git It) - Little Shop of Horrors The Thorian

“The guy sure looks like plant food to me!”

Do you get it. Do you get my joke. It’s because the Thorian is a plant that eats people. (I’m not funny)

14. Blindness - Metric Matriarch Benezia

“I was a blind fool, never complained All the survivors singing in the rain “

I don’t love the use of blind here as a negative, albeit metaphorical, descriptor, but I think this song fits Benezia’s indoctrination and death well. If you have suggestions for another, though, let me know!

15. Technologic - Daft Punk Saren

“Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it”

I just think it’s Neat

16. Watershed - Vienna Teng The Reapers

“ While you were building your empires I was still sleeping”

I think this is the song that inspired the entire playlist. Vienna Teng sat down and decided to write a song from the perspective of a natural disaster, and it’s so ominous and gut-wrenching.

17. Hourglass - The Hush Sound Virmire

“This is how it ends We believe every lie and say we'll be friends How long will it last? Before we scratch all the scripts and we rework the cast “

hahahahah rework the cast get it because you have to pick who DIES

Seriously tho I really like this song for Virmire and that moment of choice that feels like it lasts 100 years on some playthroughts.

18. Pompeii - Bastille The Siege of the Citadel

“ And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love”

Throwback to when this song was on the radio like three times an hour. Which is around the time I made the first draft of this playlist, incidentally! It’s such a good Final Battle Jam for the Citadel, and the part about “if you close your eyes/does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all” I think work really well for Shepard in this sequence. Shepard knew the Reapers were coming, had been fighting them all along; this attack on the Citadel is just retreading familiar territory for them, as horrifying as the war being brought to their doorstep is for the Citadel’s citizens and the council. James Vega has some good dialogue about that kind of thing in ME3.

INTERLUDE THE FIRST

19. Starships - Nicki Minaj The Normandy Crew

Starships were meant to fly Hands up and touch the sky

I like to have a little fun OK

20. Gravity - Yoko Kanno The Death of Commander Shepard

“Am I alone? is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet still the road keeps on telling me to go on”

Welcome to mood whiplash, it’s my specialty! This is the part where you die. I think it also works for her coma very well, when she’s just drifting between life and death, not sure what’s going on, but something keeps trying to pull her back to the world.

SECOND MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 2

21. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy The Lazarus Project

“Hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix “

this song has no right to go as hard as it does and if you think it’s melodramatic shut up

22. My Body Is A Cage - Peter Gabriel Commander Shepard

“I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow “

This works particularly well if you romanced The Virmire Survivor, but this song captures the energy of Shepard freaking out bc they are trapped with Cerberus, because Cerberus rebuilt their body from the ground up. That jarring, caged feeling is so palpable in ME2 that when they gave me back Joker the first time I played, I BURST INTO SOBS from relief.

23. The Lady is a Vamp - The Spice Girls Miranda Lawson

“That's all in the past, legends built to last But she's got something new”

Listen. She’s a bond babe. Handbags, heels and pistols rock. She’s got class. This is a song about Miranda. That is all.

24. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Jacob Taylor

“ I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you “

This one’s about the Vibes for me. Also can apply to his past relationship with Miranda. I’m also super showing my age on this song, oof haha.

25. Stable Song - Death Cab For Cutie Colony Abduction

“Rows of deserted houses all Our stable mates highway bound “

I really like the mood of this one for showing up on the very first abducted colony, the eerieness and sadness of it all and Shepard’s resolve to do something about it.

26. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn Kasumi Goto

“I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion You ain't call the cops, you call the fire station”

THAT COUPLET ALONE MAKES THE ENTIRE SONG. I love how playful and cheeky it is.

27. Seven Nation Army Glitch Mob Remix - The White Stripes, Glitch Mob Zaeed Massani

“And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette”

Pretty sure we all had this on some playlist or another when it came out, and it’s the perfect Badass With A Grudge song.

28. Science is Real - They Might Be Giants Mordin Solus

“ And when a theory emerges Consistent with the facts The proof is with science The truth is with science “

This one actually got added by my wife to replace a song that wasn’t on Spotify, but that has the same energy; Hank Green’s “I Fucking Love Science”. I get more into the emotional side of Mordin in the ME3 section, but I also really just love his Hamster On Coffee energy and this song captures it really well.

29. Prove Yourself - Radiohead Garrus Vakarian

“I can't afford to breathe in this town Nowhere to sit without a gun in my hand Hooked back up to the cathode ray

I'm better off dead “

The absolute rock bottom mental state Garrus is in when you get back to him in ME2 is so heartwrenching. Might not always agree with my boy’s methods, but he’s one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

30. Rat a Tat - Fallout Boy Feat. Courtney Love Jack

“We are professional ashes of roses, this kerosene's live You settled your score, this is where you come to beg”

It helps that Courtney Love sounds exactly like Jack to me, NGL.

31. Defeat You - Smash Mouth Grunt

“Hey I know what you've done It makes it that much better to defeat you “

Only I am brave enough to put two songs by Smash Mouth on the same playlist, to be shared in 2021

32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New Horizon/The Virmire Survivor

“If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand Hope you find out what you want Already know what I am “

Hits harder if you romanced the Virmire Survivor. Mostly from Shep’s perspective. This is a Shep that feels Bad after that encounter rather than Mad, so Your Mileage May Vary.

33. Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae Tali’zorah vas Neema

“I'm an alien from outer space I'm a cyber-girl without a face a heart or a mind”

I just like the vibes of this one for Tali! I know it’s more about an actual AI but...IDK. I like it. So there.

34. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd Thane Krios

“There is no pain you are receding A distant ship smoke on the horizon”

This song works both on a Literal level with his Kepral’s syndrome struggles, but also Metaphorical re: his Battle Sleep. Plus, Thane is a dad, so he gets Dad Rock.

35. My Medea - Vienna Teng Samara

“For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free “

Mom of the year award, here

36. Toxic - Britney Spears Morinth

“There's no escape, I can't wait I need a hit, baby, give me it You're dangerous, I'm loving it”

If Morinth weren’t so under-utilized after recruitment and didn’t get killed off in the background of ME3 I’d probably actually recruit her sometimes. I almost did on my most recent playthru bc that Shepard just HATES SPACE COPS. Anyway the song explains itself

37. Turn me On - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj EDI/The Collector Attack

“My body needs a hero Come and save me Something tells me you know how to save me”

I know this song is a metaphor but also it works really well both literally and metaphorically for Joker saving EDI

38. Robots - Dan Mangan Legion

“Robots need love too They want to be loved by you “

The Geth just want to live peacefullyyyyyy

39. Be Still - The Killers Love Interest Theme

“Be still / someday you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve”

This song works so well for the night before Omega-4. If you had an ME2 love interest, anyway. Also “fearlessness on your sleeve” is one of my favorite set of words ever written.

40. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire The Omega-4 Relay

“We know a place no spaceships go We know a place where no subs go “

This one’s pretty literal.

41. Rocketman - Elton John Suicide Mission

“ And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home “

I like sneaking some Classics onto my playlists, and I think this is how I generally approach Shepard’s mindset during the Suicide Mission, mostly the chorus. I’m also a sucker for ballads during action sequences. This one isn’t a perfect 1:1 but the Vibes check out.

42. Blast Off - David Guetta feat. Kaz James The Normandy Crew

“Got all my people with me And none of us give a fuck So put dem hands up higher Let's smash this party up”

You have to imagine they partied HARD after recovering from Suicide Mission, but before Shep got arrested, right??? This is the Starships for ME2.

INTERLUDE THE SECOND

43. I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Liara T’soni

“ Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead “

This feels like a good coming of age moment for Liara, as she copes with the choices she made in the 2 years of Shepard’s death (giving them to Cerberus), losing Feron, etc. This is her coming into her own as the Shadow Broker. She’s not meant to be an uncomplicated Big Damn Hero, but she can do good from this position.

44. The Well and the Lighthouse - Arcade Fire The Alpha Relay Incident

“I'm serving time All for a crime I did commit You want the truth? You know I'd do it all again“

These opening lines I feel capture the Alpha Relay Incident really well, and how Shepard did what they HAD to do there, and would do it again, but it still feels like shit. I always wished there was more choice on that mission, but also, having something like that happen without player agency is interesting. Shepard is at their most interesting, I think, in times where we DON’T have a say in what happens to them.

45. Reignite - Malukah Commander Shepard

“Crush my heart into embers, and I will reignite”

Is it cheating to use a Mass Effect fan song on my playlist? I certainly don’t think so, and this is the best Mass Effect fan song ever written.

THIRD MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 3

46. This Is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars Leaving Earth

“It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie The moment to live and the moment to die The moment to fight, the moment to fight To fight, to fight, to fight “

It feels Too Easy to use this here but I’m gonna anyway. You’ve seen AMVs of this set to everything. It’s the ending song of DA:O. It’s the quintessential World At War song.

47. Battleborn - The Killers James Vega

“Up against the wall There's something dying on the street When they knock you down You're gonna get back on your feet”

James Vega is massively underrated and I will love him til I’m cold in the ground. Aro icon.

48. Handlebars - Flobots The Illusive Man

“I can hand out a million vaccinations Or let 'em all die of exasperation Have 'em all healed of their lacerations Have 'em all killed by assassination”

The way this song escalates fits TIM and Cerberus’s fall back into being Just Full On Evil really well. Perfect song for a power trip.

49. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists The Virmire Survivor

“And I am nothing of a builder But here I dreamt I was an architect And I built this balustrade To keep you home, to keep you safe From the outside world”

I like this song for how the Virmire Survivor feels about their survivor’s guilt and also about Shepard. I honestly wish they were both more heavily utilized in ME2 and 3, but I realize it’s hard to write a ton of content for characters who just aren’t in half of all peoples’ playthrus.

50. Heaven Knows - The Pretty Reckless Grisson Academy

“One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie Show your life with your head held high“

This song is so perfect for Jack and her biotic kids that she’s one of the only returning characters that gets her own song on this playlist

51. The Great Fire - OK Go Javik

“But when the flames die down, and everything is gone, Will there be fire under the ashes still?”

Self explanatory. Javik is the fire remaining under the ashes.

52. Bring the Hammer Down - Paragon Priority: Tuchanka/Kalros

“ Hammer strikes the anvil A rage that breaks the chain Strikes down like a lightening In our ranks “

KALROOOOOS

53. Wake Up - Arcade Fire Curing The Genophage/Mordin Solus

“If the children don't grow up, Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turnin' every good thing to Rust I guess we'll just have to adjust”

I just really love this song as an image of Mordin’s spirit looking out over Tuchanka as the genophage cure is dispersed, and watching over future generations. If you didn’t cure the genophage, how dare you. No song for you.

Anyway started tearing up listening to this one while writing the description don’t look at me

54. Ballad of a Politician - Regina Spektor Councillor Udina/Priority Citadel 2

“A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens/Our carefully laid plans”

traitor

55. Cyborgs vs. Robots - Ludo The Geth-Quarian War

“But your iron fist will never knock me down 'Cause I'm powered By a conscious right to conduct my life without fear.”

This is probably a bit silly for this awful war. But also. It does fit. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Just save them both at the end and you can feel fine having some fun with it!

56. Artificial Heart - Jonathan Coulton The Geth

“It's not a real heart It is a real artificial heart”

Just a little fun with the Geth! This works best with Reaper Upgrades.

57. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Anderson, Jim Sturgess The Citadel DLC

“What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends”

I happen to prefer this version to any other because of how much fun it sounds like they’re having

58. Dark In Here - The Mountain Goats Priority: Earth

“Steal away at sundown, pick a place to hide Check for signs of ambush, hunker down inside Tired of running, tired of never standing still Hear them riding up the hill“

You know I had to get the Goats in here. Would it be a fan playlist if there wasn’t one?

59. Adieu - Yoko Kanno Leaving your Love Interest/Shepard and the Beam

“My love for you burns deep inside me / So strong Embers of times we had And now, here I stand / Lost in a memory I see your face, and smile”

...do I need to say more than that?

60. My Way (Minor Key) - Chase Holfelder The Indoctrination of The Illusive Man

“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do/I saw it through, without exemption“

This cover takes this song from something I tolerate when I hear it to one of my FAVORITE songs. The frenzied way he sings the “through it all” verse is PEAK Indoctrinated TIM.

61. I’m Alive - Disturbed Refusal

“There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die/Though they will not understand”

Honestly I didn’t “get” the Refusal ending until I heard this song, then I was like, OH, I SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY NOW. This is my favorite in-universe Shepard take on the Refusal ending. I always got it from the player’s perspective of being dissatisfied with the options, but this one puts it into the world for me. This is a Shepard who does not trust the Starchild. This is a Shepard that chooses to end things on their own terms rather than submit to their designs.

62. Machine - Regina Spektor Control

“I collect my moments Into a correspondence With a mightier power Who just lacks my perspective And who lacks my organics And who covets my defects “

I used to have Adieu here, actually, because like Refusal, I didn’t used to GET the Control ending. Now, I do, in part thanks to hearing this song. I mean, just go look at the full lyrics. If this song hadn’t been written years before the end of Mass Effect 3, I’d swear it was a fan song for it.

63. Maybe Tomorrow - Yuki Kajiura Destroy

“The moon is gone And the night is still so dark I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow“

I’m a Destroy Ending person, I won’t lie. Full on “the starchild is a liar and my synthetic friends are FINE” indoctrination theory level destroy ending. But this song is not about that. It’s about the canonical destroy ending, and if you prefer a Shep that survives it, this song’s for you.

This song captures the exhaustion and melancholy of the end of a long journey so well. Shepard is afraid of what comes next, the collateral damage resulting from their actions. But they know that, at least, it’s over now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

64. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park Synthesis

“ I know what it takes to move on I know how it feels to lie All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The hardest part of ending is starting again. Oof. Gets me every single time. Shepard finding the resolve to sacrifice themself for the hope of something better, of things not going how they planned, ever, of learning to make peace with that and the people who loved them learning to carry on without them? OOF.

65. Shine - Vienna Teng Epilogue

“Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose“

Vienna Teng is a master of capturing life’s softer emotions, and this fits perfectly with the epilogue scene for me. Tell me again about the Shepard.

“Find the love to unfold in this broken world we choose” has to be one of the greatest lines about the human experience ever written.

#mass effect #mass effect legendary edition #no one's gonna listen to this #but i need the world to know it exists #it took me as long as the playlist is to put this together

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janiedean · 3 years

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i find it funny that all the arguments against sansan or sanrion is about the age gap being problematic and then people ship her with jaime who's OLDER THAN TYRION and i think also older than sandor OR they'll ship her with jon who she grew up considering a brother and is actually a cousin making it incestuous. oh and when the books start theon is like 18-19 years old while sansa is like 11 i think? but yes, tell me more about why your sansa ships are superior to sansan or sanrion LOL. oh also let's not forget the ~pure~ ship of sansaery where margaery basically pretends to be friends with sansa and acts nice for her own advantage which is easy to do since she's lonely in king's landing but drops her th emoment it gets convenient, not to mention pretty much framing her from joff's murder which like sure, sansa escaped cuz LF had it planned but if not she would've been killed then :) a very healthy dynamic indeed. they really don't want to admit that they only care to ship sansa with canonically hot guys and their real problem with sansan and sanrion is both sandor and tyrion are supposed to be ugly and physically quite the opposite of the prince charming she's looking for (but they are more prince-like in character) and ignore that her whole arc is learning to look beyond appearances and names and superficial stories.

I mean other than confirming you that jaime's older than sandor bc jaime has seven years on tyrion who's three-four years younger than sandor and sandor's like 29 in agot... he's older than both of them and I'd like to add willas tyrell to the list of people that are seen as better options.... and he's also older than both sandor and tyrion, I... can't disagree with anything here because like we don't even wanna touch my beef with sans*ery but it's for the same reasons as you said and at the end of it I also can't disagree with the last paragraph because that's... like... the point of the narrative like sansa is obv ending up with someone who doesn't look hot for standards but is actually good on the inside which both of them fit the standard for, and again while I think sandor's it for obv reasons if sanrion was endgame I wouldn't be complaining (ngl I was hoping lowkey for them to get the show bc it was obvious sansan wasn't gonna be a show thing so might as well have a 50/50 split even though I guess having the show wouldn't have been that great in retrospective BUT ANYWAY) yeah what you said about the whole arc and again like... sansa/jaime is top five most hated ships for me too bc it's doubly ignoring that sansa and jaime have LI that aren't standard attractive so I'm not even touching that but yeah like

sorry but when it comes to problematic ships again there is literally nothing in asoiaf that's not somehow problematic - again the most wholesome thing in there is sam/gilly and I reiterate gilly has a baby because her father raped her and her own mother was the same so................. like no one has any leg to stand on when it comes to MY SHIP IS WHOLESOME bc no ship in here is 100% wholesome or has characters who are themselves 100% wholesome so the fixation about how these two ships are specifically bad is suspicious like really really sus

also I'd like again to point out for the umpteenth time that while there are things that I really don't vibe with (and in this fandom esp I can't do incest ships) I don't go around judging ppl for being into unhealthy dynamics or being like EW IT'S INCEST BAD because honestly I have better to do with my life, but my problem is people going like AH MY SHIP IS MORALLY BETTER THAN YOURS when it's a badwrong/ish dynamic and trying to sanitize it - like own up to it no one is gonna judge in this damned fandom and if they do good luck being coherent and don't go at other people like 'ah yeah mine is better than yours because it's so much more wholesome' X°D

also like... again there's limits and limits - I can absolutely get why someone would not like sansan or sanrion because they do have problematic elements like if someone reads blackwater and feels uncomfortable ofc I'm not gonna tell them WELL YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT IT, if they blacklist sansan and they don't come at me telling me I'm a pervert then all good? but like to do the comparison I can't get over how in the show sansa told theon she'd do to him what ramsay did all over again after he didn't help her when she didn't even tell him WELL WE SHOULD RUN AWAY TOGETHER just help me run away because for me that is like... I can't ship it when the show narrative never asked sansa to be accountable, I won't ever go to a the*nsa shipper telling them EW HOW CAN YOU LIKE IT WHEN THAT IS A THING because... the way I can like sansan with its problematic elements or secondarily like sanrion with its problematic elements (nvm that the superior tyrion ship is tyrion/bronn anyway) they can like th*onsa with its problematic elements? but just don't go around harping at ppl because everyone has their limit to something and it can be glaringly obvious or not (I mean if I tell you that th*ramsay isnt my cup of tea anyone could understand why seeing the background, or idk for me brienne/hyle hunt is a way bigger nope than brienne/tormund ever could have been but a lot of ppl in jb fandom feel the contrary which is absolutely fine again I can't stand the idea of b. with someone who bet on taking her virginity because of personal reasons even if he realized he was wrong but for others the way they wrote brienne/tormund in the show was uncomfortable to that degree and so on) and as long as you behave like an adult... then who cares what you ship

meanwhile instead there's the... fixation on those two esp within the context you mentioned and honestly I'm kinda tired of the 'gross old dudes' rhetoric thrown at them when neither of them is old or gross and they both are abuse victims with trauma never mind the ableism in spades (that one more glaringly at tyrion for obvious reasons and on tumblr I wish it wasn't like......... 80% of the general fandom but people dismissing sandor's shitty coping methods as HE'S A VIOLENT DRUNK when like..... he's the only one who's actually not violent with her sansa and he has thirty years' worth of ptsd on him are also a peach) like... can you please realize the implications of what you're saying please and thank you

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oceanselevenism · 3 years

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I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?

omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)

- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous

- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)

- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents

- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)

- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great

- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence

- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long

- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)

- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross

- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts

#oceans 11 #oceans eleven #danny ocean #rusty ryan #danny x rusty #oceans 8 #oceans eight

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rainandhotchocolate · 4 years

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Hi! :) Can I request a Sirius x Reader where they’ve left Hogwarts (they’re about 19 years old) and are in the order, reader and Sirius are in a heated argument bc Sirius keeps flirting with other girls. Reader gets called out on a mission for the order and as she storms out Sirius shouts something like “I hate u” (or something similar) and then the reader gets a severely injured on the mission for the order and when she comes back Sirius is freaking out and they apologise and make up 💕 Ty! :)

A/N YES I WROTE IT TODAY hope you enjoy bbg

About what I said last night.

Y/N tapped her fingers against the rough wooden surface at Alice and Frank apartment, the persistent noise catching Alice’s attention.

“Hey love, I know you’re not trying to but you’re about to dig a hole through my kitchen table,” Alice smiled knowingly at her, sitting down beside Y/N who grimaced apologetically.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise.” Y/N pulled her head away from where she had been staring, avidly trying to keep her eyes from straying back.

“What’s going on Y/N, you’ve been tense for weeks.” Alice leaned onto her hand, her deep blue nails showing up against her pale skin. Y/N sighed, her eyes flicking back towards the fireplace where Sirius and Marlene were standing. It wasn’t like Y/N didn’t know Sirius was like this, it was one of the reasons she had fallen for him in the first place, his blatant flirting and confidence just seemed to draw people in. Alice had followed her gaze and pursed her lips.

“Ahh.”

“Please don’t say anything, I just, it’s just so frustrating.” Y/N huffed, giving up on trying to avoid looking over and turning her head back to them. Sirius had his hand on Marlene’s shoulder and was grinning at her as she laughed loudly. Y/N had been catching bits of their conversation earlier, Sirius had been complimenting Marlene’s new platinum hair, wondering if she’d picked up many boys being a blonde. Y/N had brought it up a few times in the past, how he seemed to flirt with girls at parties and forget to mention he had been in a relationship for the past four years. Marlene always seemed to hurt the most though, they’d hooked up a few times before he asked Y/N out and watching them fall back into old patterns made Y/N feel like she’d just become invisible.

“You know I won’t, but if I’m going to be honest, if that was Frank I’d give him a right slap,” Alice raised an eyebrow as Sirius picked at a lock of Marlene’s hair before pulling Y/N’s attention back to her. “But you know he loves you, right? Even if he’s a bit of an idiot.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Y/N dismissed her, grabbing at a sausage roll and spinning around on the chair slowly.

They left Alice and Franks’ around 12, after James had accidentally smashed part of the shed whilst trying to test a new spell that created fake snow and creating hail instead. They apparated back to Sirius’ apartment, a small one bedroom with open plan kitchen and living room that was covered in records and Sirius’ favourite muggle and magical bands hanging across the room. Y/N had been trying to calm herself down for the last 30 minutes, to no avail, and cringed when Sirius faced her with a knowing look.

“What’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” Y/N pushed passed him and hung up her coat, placing her bag on the couch and avoiding his stare.

“Bullshit, you’ve been dodging me all evening, come on, Y/N.” Sirius was always upfront when he was being confrontational, like he needed to take the upper hand in case things went awry.

“It’s really nothing, I just… you and Marlene-“

“Are you kidding me, this again?” Sirius huffed and Y/N felt the anger bubble in her chest as he cut her off.

“You were the one who mentioned it! I was just trying to tell you whats going on.”

“Do you not trust me or something? Is that it?” Sirius threw his coat off, pacing across the room. Y/N stared at him, gaping.

“Where the fuck did you get that from?” Y/N could feel the anger bubbling to the surface but she was no longer bothering to push it back down, her voice rising.

“You keep bringing this up as if I can’t be trusted, like I’m going around hitting on girls every minute of the day.” Sirius flung his arms up in defeat, huffing loudly.

“That’s because you bloody are!” Y/N yelled this time, getting frustrated. How dare he put this on her. “I just go around putting up with it, sorry if I’d prefer my boyfriend didn’t flirt with other girls.”

“I’m not flirting! I’m just having a laugh for Merlin’s sake.”

“Oh yeah? Ask that to the fifty numbers you’ve gotten to the girls you have conveniently forgotten to tell about me.”

“Fifty numbers?” Sirius gave her an exasperated look but Y/N stood her ground. She could feel all the frustration she’d been pushing down boiling over into her glare, her hiss.

“I’m just sick of feeling like I’m an afterthought.”

“I’m done with this fight, Y/N, I can’t bloody talk about it anymore.” Sirius turned away from her, heading towards the bathroom. Y/N stalked after him.

“We haven’t even spoken about it!” Y/N felt like screaming, how wasn’t he getting it.

“For fucks sake, Y/N! I can’t do this if you can’t trust me!”

“I just want to feel like you’re not looking for a fucking back up every time we go out!”

“I can’t deal with this right now, I’m meant to be –”

“We never deal with this stuff, we never deal with anything cause you can’t deal with conflict,” Y/N regretted it as she said it, Sirius’ eyes widening. Y/N had thought it before, Sirius’ deflecting, his constant confidence and banter. It had taken a whole year for Sirius to tell her he loved her, and another month before he could look her in the eye when he said it. It was like he was constantly needing to place a barrier between himself and anyone he might care about, in case they turn out like his parents.

“Get out,” Sirius hissed, his voice low and cold. Y/N didn’t move, shocked at what he said.

“What?” Y/N lowered her voice, unsure if she’d heard him right.

“I said, get the fuck out of my house, Y/N,” he raised his voice again and Y/N had to physically step back as he seemed to stand taller, looming above her. Y/N stared at him, her heart pounding loudly. Then she shook her head, breathing heavily and grabbing her coat, slamming her way out of his house and onto the streets of London.

Y/N woke up to a hand on her shoulder, shaking her softly.

“Y/N? We need to get up.” Alice’s voice drifted into her head and she blinked a few times before she could see Alice, fully dressed, standing above her. “Dumbledore’s called us in.”

Y/N was awake now. She pulled herself off the couch and slipped into her clothes from last night, piling up the blankets Frank had given her back onto the couch before Alice leaded her to their back step and they apparated to the location Dumbledore had sent.

They landed on the edge of a field, large oak trees on the horizon. Y/N spotted Lily waving them over a few steps away, standing at the corner of what looked like a very quiet main road. Alice and Y/N moved quickly over towards her, their breath puffing out in the icy cold morning air.

“Morning, girls,” Lily greeted them, wrapped in a large green coat and matching beanie. Y/N raised an eyebrow and Lily huffed in response. “James thought it would bring out my eyes. Shut up.”

“Anyway, Dumbledore has some intel about an attack on this muggle town this morning. He wants us to keep an eye out and deter it.” Alice whispered to the two of them as they leant casually against the stone wall behind them, Lily pulling out a packet of cigarettes and handing them around.

“Should we split up then, do rounds and meet up here every hour?” Y/N sucked in, breathing out softly and letting the cigarette warm her up from the inside.

“Sounds good,” Lily nodded to the right, “I’ll head this way, Alice you take the centre and Y/N the left. See you lot in an hour, send sparks if you need us.”

The three girls split up, not saying goodbye and moving calmly throughout the streets. As it was only about 5am, the streets were silent excluding a few dog-walkers and early morning commuters. Y/N smiled to a small shaggy dog that was bounding down the street far ahead of his owner who still looked like they were half-asleep. Y/N walked up and down each street cautiously, careful to cover her face as much as was normal with her scarf and beanie as she roamed her section of the town, making a note of the small alley ways she glanced down and anywhere that would be easy for someone to arrive unnoticed. Anytime she reached a street that was empty she cast protection spells against the front of the muggle houses to stop anyone from being able to directly apparate inside.

They got through the first two rounds with nothing to report except their tally of dogs passed per hour. Y/N rounded the corner on the edge of town the third time around slowed when she saw movement at the edge of a small alley that she had checked down previously and noted no entrances from it. She edged down the street carefully, her hand pressed tightly around the wand in her pocket.

Voices were drifting towards Y/N but she couldn’t quite make out what was being said. She held back before she reached the entrance to the alley way, pressing herself against the wall and making sure that no one was coming up the opposite direction. Suddenly she was pressed against the cold brick of the lane, her head pushed back and wand sticking into her neck.

“Been watching you,” A cold voice hissed in her ear. She could barely look down, a hand holding her head up roughly, the back of her skull beginning to throb dully. Y/N had kept her hand in her pocket and continued to grip tightly on her wand praying for the moment when she could put out sparks without getting accidently killed. Or purposely killed.

“I think we’ve found ourselves one of Dumbledore’s lovely women,” The person turned their head to the side, calling to an accomplice and Y/N took the bare second to pull her hand out of her pocket and blast red sparks into the air.

‘Expelliarmus!’ another voice yelled and Y/N felt her wand fly out of her hand and towards her right and her head getting pulled forwards and back against the bricks, sharp pain shooting up the back of her head and neck as she groaned loudly. Her vision was going blurry, eyes watering, the wand getting pushed harder into her neck.

“An annoying one apparently,” The voice at her ear hissed again and this time Y/N thought she recognised the taunting voice of Dolohov and felt her whole body tense. “She might need a bit of a harder time in questioning.”

Dolohov pulled the back of her hair tightly and pulled her along and down the alley way so that she was out of sight from the main street. Y/N screamed in agony, the grip pulling at the skin that had torn when she slammed into the wall, stumbling backwards and keeping her feet from slipping under and giving in all her weight to Dolohov. She saw the vague outline of another person standing beside her when she was thrown back to the ground.

“Hello, precious, I think I’ve seen yo-“ before the other death eater could continue Y/N pushed all of her weight into the back of her shoulders and kicked forwards, slamming them into their knees as hard as she could, her back scraping roughly against the concrete as they stumbled back.

And then it felt like all of her body was on fire. Every inch of her body suddenly wanted to not-exist, pure pain coursing through her very veins. A loud aching scream pierced the air and took a few moments for Y/N to realise it was coming from herself, her muscles spasming into positions she didn’t realise she could get into.

“Stupefy,” Lily’s voice rang around the laneway, Y/N’s body relaxing as a body went flying above her. Y/N could feel herself shaking uncontrollably, but desperately tried to inch herself out of the way and towards her wand which she’d spotted near the draining system to her left.

Spells were now flying around the alley way, both Alice and Lily dodging the two death eaters who had found positions beside the large dumpster for cover. Y/N breathed heavily but continued to move, keeping low as to avoid any rogue hexes, reaching for her wand slowly when crunch.

Y/N screamed again as a large boot stamped its way onto her hand, the small bones cracking from pressure. Y/N looked up to see a woman grinning at her, her dark eyes flashing maliciously before she was slammed backwards from another spell.

Y/N felt tears dripping down her face once more, her heart beating dangerously as she felt herself go into shock, trying to calm herself down.

“Incacerous!” Alice pointed her wand towards the unconscious death eater, slumped against the back wall, Dolohov disapparating on the spot. “Fuck, we missed him.”

Lily swept her wand around her head and a doe appeared by her side.

“Send for Dumbledore, tell him to get an auror here now.”

The patronus stalked away from her and disappeared into a ball of blue light. Alice had begun running towards Y/N, Lily following close after.

“Y/N are you ok?”

“Not at all,” Y/N gasped, closing her eyes as nausea began to wave over her.

“OK, we need to get you back to headquarters now, Lily are you ok to keep an eye on this one until the aurors get here?” Alice conjured a stretcher from thin air, flicking her wand again and lifting Y/N onto it so that her body was remaining flat.

“Definitely, get her fixed up. I’ll come check on you later ok?” Lily gave Y/N’s not crushed hand a squeeze and waved them off as Alice apparated them away, landing on the doorstep of Dumbledore’s safe house and pulling the door open. They were immediately greeted with a flurry of people, everyone turning on Y/N when they saw her, blood still trickling from the back of her head and shaking subtly on the stretched.

“Holy shit.”

“What happened?”

“Get her inside now.”

“I’m grabbing Sirius.”

Y/N felt herself drifting inside and towards the large living room where they had set up medical supplies and potions along the side of the wall. Y/N felt almost numb, her entire body throbbing as she was poked and prodded and lifted her head to pour potions down her throat. At one point she felt her body being pulled upright and leant against the back of a chair as someone began to work on the back of her head.

Loud voices began to find their way into the room, getting louder and louder as someone was storming towards them.

“I need to see her.”

“Sirius, mate, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Don’t you fucking dare block that door, James, so help me I will hex you out of the way.”

“Sirius, they need to work in there.”

“Let me see, Y/N, NOW!” Sirius boomed, the door swinging open to reveal James holding his hands up to let Sirius push past. Y/N saw him through blurry eyes rushing towards her, accidentally hitting a couple of people as he slid in front of her and picked up her unbandaged hand.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry, are you ok? Merlin I feel sick – is she ok?” Sirius looked up to whoever was standing over Y/N.

“She’ll be ok, the back of her head is a flesh would but it’s taking more time than we expected to heal because of a cruciate-“

“The what?! Crucio?” Sirius gripped tighter onto Y/N’s hand, his voice shaking. “Who did this to her, I’m going to kill –”

“No you’re not,” Remus’ voice came into focus, “Here’s some chocolate, she’s going to need it after we’re done here.”

He passed it over to Sirius who didn’t look over, keeping his swirling grey eyes on Y/N’s.

“Y/N, are you ok? What can I do? I’m… I –“ His voice broke again. Y/N felt the spell that pressed against her skull, healing the wound. “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to come visit you at Alice’s but then Frank and. I hope you know I never meant to hurt you, I’m so sorry, please be ok.”

Sirius was shaking almost as much as Y/N now, his body pressing up against hers. Y/N could feel her consciousness returning, the pepperup potion slowly doing its job. She blinked a couple of times, trying to take in the room. A lot of the other order members had filtered out to give them some privacy, leaving only Remus and James who were muttering over the medical station.

“I just, I struggle letting you in – anyone in, I just fuck, I can’t stop thinking about what I said.”

“It’s ok,” Y/N mumbled, struggling to move her mouth. “I know, Sirius.”

“No, it’s not ok. You could have died, you can’t die on me Y/N I don’t know what I’d do –”

Y/N pulled him in closer with her free hand, closing her eyes and breathing him in.

“I love you so much, Y/N.” Sirius muttered into her shoulder, his arms wrapping tightly across her waist.

“I love you too, Sirius.”

He pulled away, brushing his hand across her cheek taking in a deep breath. Ok, everything was ok.

Taglist: @averytruerayofsunshine @siriuslyjanhvi @blushingskywalker @blackpinkdolan @thebabblingbookworm @cherrie511 @imlukesnirvana @avengersassemblee @maraudersandco @sly-vixen-up2nogood @katbernoulli @sirius-lysad @evyiione @minerva26love @aikeia@gollyderek @greatwombatblaze @songforhema @your-typical-giggle @myownviperroom @hermionie-is-my-queen @demiwitch527

#rainandhotchocolate #sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius imagine #sirius x you #sirius angst #sirius angsty fic #sirius black x you

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swearwolf-writes · 3 years

Text

Merlin: Magic for the Masses

bcs magic isn't evil and this is my personal comfort fic

[CROSSPOSTED ON: AO3]

Season 1

AGES:

MERLIN:17-18

ARTHUR: 20-21

MORGANA: 22-23

GWEN: 17-18 (YOUNGER THAN MERLIN BY MERE MONTHS)

MORDRED: ~10-11

The Dragon’s Call

Valiant

The Mark of Nimue

Gwen finds out Merlin has magic (bcs he somehow knew her father was better) and keeps his secret

The Poisoned Chalice

Gwen sees the scrying lights

Lancelot

A Remedy to Cure All Ills

The Gates of Avalon

Merlin talks to Morgana about her seer abilities and promises to keep her secret

The Beginning of the End

Uses magic to save Mordred

Helps Arthur smuggle Mordred away

Excalibur

The Moment of Truth

The Labyrinth of Gedreth

To Kill the King

Le Morte D’Arthur

6 MONTHS PASS

Season 2

AGES:

MERLIN: 18-19

ARTHUR: 21-22

MORGANA: 23-24

GWEN: 18-19 (A FEW MONTHS YOUNGER THAN MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~11-12

The Curse of Cornelius Sigan

The Once and Future Queen

The Nightmare Begins

Tells Morgana of his own magic and now they’re boys

He can help her to an extent but they both need some help and so want to go to the druids together (bcs she’s got magic and he’s somehow Emrys although she doesn’t know the name yet) but he has his duties with Arthur and so she goes alone

Merlin find her with the druids during the panic in Camelot

They keep each other’s secrets (even if she doesn’t know Merlin is Emrys just yet)

Lancelot and Guinevere

Beauty and the Beast

Arthur sees Merlin with the mirror and asks him how he got the mirror down there without any rope

And voila the moron’s magic is revealed and it is then that he realises Merlin uses his magic to save his butt whoops (but he doesn’t tell Arthur about Morgana’s abilities bcs that’s not his secret to tell)

But still doesn’t believe Merlin when he mentions that she’s a TROLL

The Witchfinder

Arthur kicked Merlin’s magic book under the bed and says it’s all clear bcs he doesn’t want anyone to be executed bcs no one got hurt with the magic and it was just a bit of fun

Merlin: “We know Aredian set Gaius up and then he’s coming after us-”

Arthur: “Us? Us who?”

Merlin: “I can’t say bcs that’s not my secret to tell”

Arthur: “If you know another sorcerer-”

Merlin: “Then what? What, you’ll execute them?”

Arthur: “I- I mean, no, but-”

Merlin: “But what? If it doesn’t matter with me then why should it matter if anyone has magic?”

The Sins of the Father

Morgana shows Merlin the bracelet Morgause gave her and he can feel the magic in it and lo and behold: she’s a sorceress too

Their mother, Lady Vivienne, was a sorceress and as was Morgause’s father that’s why Morgause was given to the High Priestess of the Old Religion but Uther thought that as Morgana had one non-magic parent, she would not develop abilities (he was wrong)

Merlin tells Arthur it was a lie to stop him killing his father but then reveals the truth once Arthur could not get to Uther and he also reasons that while it was Uther’s fault, no one was to blame as he didn’t know what’d happen (and was too headstrong to listen) and Nimue had no choice but to comply, on pain of death

The Lady of the Lake

Sweet Dreams

The Witch’s Quickening

Morgana tries to tell Merlin the plan but he stops her

Merlin: “I’m the future king’s manservant - plausible deniability is my only saviour right now. I will not aid you nor will I stop you but if I think innocents will get hurt, I will stop you.”

Morgana: “I would expect nothing else.”

Ignores Kilgharrah

Helps Mordred escape safely bcs he was innocent and brainwashed by a fanatic “I will not forget this”

Morgana tells him, after the fact, that she let the fanatic go bcs he just wanted to free magicfolk

They continue their training in private bcs insomnia via dragon

The Fires of Idirsholas

When Morgana sees Gwen sick, she tells Merlin about Morgause as soon as she gets the chance

Merlin tells Morgana about how she’s the source of the curse albeit unknowingly but the only way to save everyone is if she dies but they need to figure out how to save her so she took the hemlock and poisoned herself

It still hurt her bcs yk it’s poison so her telepathic pain was still a thing and Morgause came along and she took her after stopping the curse

The Last Dragonlord

1 YEAR PASSES

Season 3

AGES:

MERLIN: 20-21

ARTHUR: 23-24

MORGANA: 25-26

GWEN: 20-21 (A FEW MONTHS SHY OF MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~13-14

The Tears of Uther Pendragon 1

Merlin is so sorry that she had to poison herself and was so glad she was back

Arthur thinks there’s a thing between them meanwhile Morgana thinks there’s a thing between he and Arthur and Gwen

Morgana knocks the guard out and wipes his recent memories but she’s still not the best at her magic so he was just injured so Morgause spells him from afar to kill him bcs Morgana is not a murder even if she does hate Uther

Morgause: “You should have killed the guard”

Morgana: “I will not be like Uther and kill anyone who irritates me - he was in my way but simply following orders”

Morgause kidnaps Merlin but Morgana asks her not to kill him - he might just be a servant but he’s well-liked and popular - people will notice

The Tears of Uther Pendragon 2

Magic jokes with Arthur yay

Tense Mergana

Morgana: “You know I don’t wanna hurt you but this is to help our people so please don’t get in my way or whatever I have to do, I’ll do it.”

Merlin: “I’d expect nothing less”

More magic jokes with Arthur feat. armour

Morgana and Merlin fight in the crypt and use magic causing the ceiling to cave but Merlin saves her bcs “you’re my friend” but uses magic to break the staff while Morgana runs to safety and takes the credit to keep up appearances

Morgana: “sorry Merlin but our people come before us and they deserve better”

Merlin: “if that’s the case then why should our legacy to better ourselves begin with the massacre of innocents?”

Morgana: “it may be wrong but what other beginning do we have other than the slaughter of our own people, our women and children? Innocents weren’t supposed to get hurt but that was Cenred’s army not ours - the skeletals were only supposed to attack knights fighting us”

Goblin’s Gold renamed Gnome’s Gold

Gaius: “Gnomes are mischievous but not always dangerous in nature so long as they get what they want: gold. They have often been known as guardians of treasures, of mines and of precious stones.”

Merlin tells Arthur and Morgana about gnome!Gaius (separately)

Gets his butt kicked by Arthur when he sees that Merlin didn’t undo the donkey curse immediately

Merlin: “sorcerer’s magic and gnome magic are two very different things- how was I supposed to know it wouldn’t fully do the trick-”

Gwaine

Arthur: “I could’ve beaten them on my own Merlin, I didn’t need your help-”

Merlin: “well if not mine then certainly Gwaine’s at least-”

Arthur: “shut up, Merlin”

The Crystal Cave

Morgause is the one who was supposed to kill Uther bcs Morgana doesn’t want to kill anyone

Arthur gets her jewellery instead of a knife bcs Merlin actually tells him the prophecy

Morgause fails lmao

When Morgause tries to kill Merlin, she steps in and ends up needing the infirmary so Morgause runs

When Morgana and Merlin find out her lineage, they tell Arthur bcs ‘wtf?? I have a sister? You’re older so ig you’re the heir??’

The Changeling

Merlin tells Gwen and Arthur about lil changeling Elena and they’re like wait he/she knows??

Elena is a respectable thembo by the end of it all

The Castle of Fyrien

Merlin uses magic to light a campfire in front of Morgana, Gwen and Arthur to which again there’s the whole wait you know stuff

Morgana: “and you’re okay with it? After everything Uther says about magic users?”

Arthur: “I know Merlin and he has a good heart even if he is an idiot. And the druid boy wasn’t evil either, he was just a child. Merlin’s shown me that magic isn’t evil but instead just a tool and it’s the person using it incorrectly that should be punished rather than magicfolk as a whole.”

Morgana: “so you disagree with the ban on magic?”

Arthur: “So what if people use magic to do their chores faster? They’re not hurting anyone. It would be like condemning every person who’s ever owned a sword bcs they might hurt someone.”

Morgana: “how long have you known?”

Arthur: “since Father tried to marry a troll”

Morgana: “and you never said anything to anyone?”

Arthur: “it’s not my secret to tell”

She goes back to their side and saves Arthur from Morgause’s fire but it blows back and knocks her over so she wants to make sure her sister’s okay but gets pulled to safety by Merlin

~ later ~

Merlin: “Why did you save Arthur? You could’ve let him die and left Camelot without an heir but you saved him; why?”

Morgana: “bcs he protects you. If he was protecting a knight, I still wouldn’t trust him but you’re just a servant and yet he protects your life and our secret. Arthur is a good man and I don’t want any bloodshed - if we can give our people peace again with Arthur, I will stand by him.”

Merlin: “thank you.”

Morgana: “this does not mean I stand by Uther - I will still fight against his tyrannous ways every chance I get.”

Merlin: “I’d expect nothing less”

The Eye of the Phoenix

Morgause gives Arthur a bracelet while disguised as an old woman “for good luck on your journey” and Gwen sees her real face in a puddle

Tells Morgana about it and they, along with Gaius, look for some way to counter the spell (and thus Morgana reveals her magic to Gwen)

Love in the Time of Dragons

Merlin doth be a snitch but they believe Alice when she says she has no choice and they try and help her as best as they can (Arthur is a sweetheart to old people (no offence, Alice-))

Queen of Hearts

Morgause tries to break Arthur’s heart and cause the rift between father and son by manipulating a young sorcerer into doing all the stuff that gets Gwen tried for magic

Dragoon and Arthur deal with stuffs but this time, he knows it’s his personal dumbass

Morgana helps with the anti-aging potion for Merlin bcs magic squad!!

The Sorcerer’s Shadow

The Coming of Arthur 1

Sir Leon is made immortal (by accident) by the druids who save him with the Cup of Life

When Morgause finds out Leon lives, she finds out about the Cup

Gwaine catches Merlin trying to heal Arthur and thus finds out about his magic too

Morgause rules with an iron fist and threatens to kill her and everyone else if Morgana doesn’t become queen and her mouthpiece bcs “you betrayed me sister so your life means nothing to me. And these peasants are mere cockroaches - whether they live or die, I don’t care - in fact, if they die, our people could live here in Camelot but regardless, those poor, innocent villagers’ blood will be on your hands, sister. Now, yield.”

The Coming of Arthur 2

Gwen tells everyone of how Morgana is just as much a prisoner as she was

Morgana uses magic to help fight Morgause but hurts her and despite everything “she’s my sister - I abandoned her once, I will not do it again. I will ensure her safety and ours in the process - rule well, brother” and she leaves with her sister using magic

1 YEAR PASSES

Season 4

AGES:

MERLIN: 22-23

ARTHUR: 24-25

MORGANA: 27-28

GWEN: 22-23 (A FEW MONTHS SHY OF MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~15-16

Morgana becomes the High Priestess of the Triple Goddess

The Darkest Hour 1

Kara’s mother, Ealdgyð, was helping Morgause bcs Morgana was forced to leave her when she began attacking her, all faith in her younger sister lost

Morgana was back in Camelot but yk “I couldn’t kill her- she’s still my sister- I’m sorry”

Knowing how much Morgana hated him for the things he did still left Uther crippled, even upon her return

Ealdgyð opened the veil upon Morgause’s death and she, Merlin and Morgana all passed out and saw the vision

Emrys was Morgana’s destiny and Ealdgyð’s doom

Emyrs’ identity is protected from Ealdgyð (and later Kara) by the Triple Goddess bcs they may be followers of the Old Religion but they perverted the peaceful nature of druids and so lost that information which was most valuable to them

Agravaine, being loyal to Morgause, now reports to Ealdgyð and tells her about their plan

Merlin and Morgana both want to be sacrifices to the veil

Merlin: “it’s my destiny to protect Arthur”

Morgana: “but this was my sister’s doing and therefore it is my responsibility to undo”

The Darkest Hour 2

Morgana tries to heal Merlin from the Dorocha but is unable to

Morgana continues on the quest with the knights while Lancelot and Merlin go their own way

Agravain on Ealdgyð’s orders knocks out Gwen bcs she convinced the council to reduce rationing the lower towns

The Wicked Day

Merlin tries to save Uther for Arthur’s sake but Morgana refuses to try

Morgana (to Arthur): “I am sorry you’re losing your father but he literally massacred our people - I will not save him”

Uther still dies but they noticed the pendant and want to find and take Ealdgyð’s head but they don’t know who she is bcs she’s smart

Arthur: “Magic will one day live freely in Camelot once more but not today - it is easier to find one sorcerer among no others than one from hundreds and despite your hatred of the things he did, you must know what this person did was wrong”

Morgana: “find them and bring them to justice, not for practicing sorcery but for committing murder”

Arthur: “of course”

Morgana is all for Arthur being the king bcs she knows after everything with Morgause and Cenred, the people would never accept her as queen but at least this way, her people stood a chance

Aithusa

Arthur doesn’t plan on destroying the egg but doesn’t really care what happens to it so long as Broden is captured

Morgana goes with the knights as magic is her lineage too and they will keep her secret

Merlin tells them of the Druids warnings about the trap bcs knight squad knows the magic squad secret (that they’re ✨magic✨)

He and Morgana witness the birth of Aithusa who immediately takes a liking to Morgana

His Father’s Son

Ealdgyð allies herself with Annis after Caerleon’s death

Morgana hints at Arthur to get Gwen flowers

At this point Morgana is just as strong as Merlin as they train together

A Servant of Two Masters

Ealdgyð takes Merlin

Thinks Dragoon is Emrys

The Secret Sharer

Ealdgyð: “I do this, not out of spite, but to ensure my daughter does not have to live her life as I did, afraid and in hiding”

Lamia

Morgana searches with Arthur and Agravaine

Lancelot du Lac

Ealdgyð will not have some common non-magic child take her throne and title (believes it is rightfully hers as magic is superior and she is the chosen heir of a high priestess (Morgause))

Merlin uses magic freely in front of those who know

Frees Lancelot’s soul but cannot stop Gwen’s banishing bcs Agravaine

A Herald of the New Age

Merlin tells Arthur about the Druid boy and Elyan’s situation but they need to figure something out bcs knowing intimate knowledge of magic wouldn’t help their case

The Hunter’s Heart

Arthur: “Well what am I supposed to do, Merlin? Tell the whole court we’ve been committing high treason for years - they would think us in league with the other sorcerer and take our heads”

Gwen avoids the sorceress smartly bcs she has brain cells

Morgana: “Do you think I’m happy about all this? I’ve been planning their wedding for years - who wouldn’t want their closest friend to become their sister?”

~ while on the hunt ~

Morgana: Wait a minute, you like Mithian-”

Merlin: “what no-”

Morgana: “you’re doing the thing”

Merlin: “what thing? I don’t do a thing.”

Morgana: “yes you do, It’s that thing you do when you think Gwaine isn’t looking”

Merlin: “shut up-”

Morgana: “oh this is gonna be fun”

Arthur calls off the hunt when Merlin tells him the deer is really Gwen but he and Mithian can’t be gone long so he and Morgana help after dark, Merlin being a physician and helping her wounds and Morgana turning her human again

She spills the beans and reveals the sorceress’ name as Ealdgyð and that Agravaine is definitely in league but they had to proof and couldn’t just accuse the king’s uncle especially given that they’re only a servant and an exile

The Sword in the Stone 1

Ealdgyð and Helios attack Camelot on Beltaine

Morgana is captured

Ealdgyð (to Morgana): “You betrayed our people”

The Sword in the Stone 2

Morgana is made to starve “like so many of our own have bcs of your precious family”

Ealdgyð: “You, Arthur Pendragon, are in fact worse than your father. You pretend to be a man of peace while upholding an unlawful law that has killed countless women and children”

Aithusa stays with Morgana but Ealdgyð is saved by random folks who think her simply a lost, hurt woman

3 YEARS PASS

Season 5

AGES:

MERLIN: 26-27

ARTHUR: 28-29

MORGANA: 31-32

GWEN: 26-27 (A FEW MONTHS YOUNGER THAN MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~19-20

Arthur’s Bane 1

Mordred is on Ealdgyð’s side bcs she’s Kara’s mother (eventually realises she’s wrong bcs what kind of mother drags her child into war)

Morgana and Aithusa stay with Gwen to help protect the castle bcs “the knights already have a sorcerer - if something happens here, Gods forbid it, you will need someone”

Merlin tells Arthur of the seer’s vision to which he reminds the young warlock that Morgana was supposed to also be their fate and yet she was saved and so will the boy be

The group is captured by Ealdgyð and here we meet Mordred

Arthur’s Bane 2

Mordred tries to get food to Merlin and Arthur but cannot ‘sorry, Emrys’

‘I said I would not forget what you did for me and I meant it’ and so Mordred tells him about the Diamair

They fight the Saxons with Mordred secretly helping them escape

Merlin: ‘thank you Mordred’

Mordred: ‘just returning the favour’

Merlin is attacked by a druid Saxon who he knocks out

~ confrontation time ~

Arthur: “We want to help you, Ealdgyð, but when you attack and enslave our people, it doesn’t exactly give us much confidence in you.”

Ealdgyð: “Liar! You force Morgana to hide away and to forget who she truly is-”

Arthur: “Actually she’s at the castle protecting everyone bcs we know that magic isn’t evil but your hatred, Ealdgyð, has made you evil.”

Ealdgyð: “If you are so good and kind, why do you not lift the ban on our people?”

Arthur: “Finding one sorcerer, you, amongst few is much easier than finding you amongst countless others. We have not persecuted any magic users since my coronation - the law is just there in name and once you are gone, it will be removed once and for all.”

Ealdgyð: “So you think killing me will make our people love you?”

Arthur: “I don’t want their love, only their forgiveness but you killed the king and that is high treason, regardless of magic.”

Mordred stabs Ealdgyð when he hears their conversation bcs o hey she’s nuts and yk he’s not evil :)

~ later ~

Merlin: “Actually, Arthur, Gwen and some of the knights know I have magic.”

Mordred: “When did he know?”

Merlin: “A couple of months after you and I first met. It’s actually quite a funny story-”

Arthur: “Merlin, shut up-”

Merlin: ‘I’ll tell you later.’

Mordred calls Merlin Emrys around Morgana and she’s like eh?? and he’s like yeah, druids call him Emrys and she remembers the prophecy but keeps her mouth shut bcs ‘wtf? My destiny?? lol no’

The Death Song of Uther Pendragon

Morgana does not join the pair even tho she was his ward bcs Uther was Uther ew

~ before blowing the horn ~

Arthur: “If something goes wrong, you can help, right?”

Merlin: “Maybe. But magic involving the dead isn’t something I typically deal with.”

~ during the crazy shite ~

Arthur: “Are you certain?”

Merlin: “What else could’ve escaped the horn but the person summoned by it?”

Arthur: “I refuse to believe that my father’s ghost somehow attacked a knight”

‘Poetry’ is still a thing bcs Arthur didn’t want to tarnish his father’s respect name but wtv

He spills the beans to his dad that he knows of Merlin’s magic and that if it wasn’t for him and Morgana, everyone would probably be dead so fuck off :D

Another’s Sorrow

Ealdgyð disguises herself as Hilda

Mithian and Merlin and Morgana flirt bcs they’re bi nightmares, or yk, bi-ghtmares

Plus more flirting between Merlin and Gwaine ft. panicked bi!Merlin

Morgana goes with Mithian and Arthur upon Merlin’s injury and fights Ealdgyð

Morgana: “3 of us and one of her, I like our chances”

Merlin: “But she’s growing stronger fast”

Mordred: “and so long as we keep studying and training, we’ll still be stronger”

Merlin teaches Mordred and Morgana physician stuff bcs bonding

The Disir

~ training montage ~

Arthur: “Next time try combining your sword skills with your magic”

Mordred: “but that’s not a fair fight-”

Arthur: “you’re a druid. Magic is the first tool you were born with and it’s our birthright to use it. Plus in a war, magic will help us”

Merlin still worries whether he’s too young to be out fighting with the rest of em

Arthur: “he’s a sorcerer - he has an inbuilt defence system regardless of whether he has his sword. He’ll be fine - and honestly, Merlin, you’re not his wetnurse or his mother.”

Merlin: “prat-”

Arthur: “what was that?”

Merlin: “I called you a prat, my lord”

Arthur: “I will not bow to the Triple Goddess for I do not follow her. But please, my friend is a sorcerer, a druid and a follower of the Old Religion. He is innocent. Spare him, please.”

Mordred is spared bcs they were impressed Arthur would risk their wrath but bcs he didn’t bow to them, his fate is still sealed

The Dark Tower

Ealdgyð kidnaps Gwen

Merlin, Mordred and Morgana do cooperative magic to try and find Gwen but to no avail

So they all go to the Dark Tower together f is for friends who do stuff together, u is you and me-

They use magic and swords to hack at the overgrowth but again, to no avail

He tells them all of Queen Mab and leads the way

Morgana saves the falling Merlin from impaling himself on the sword

~ psychological torture time ~

Ealdgyð: “My sweet child, you know Camelot is doomed if Arthur and Morgana are to rule. Arthur longs for the old ways and the security of his father while Morgana wants a magical revolution. They will tear the city apart in their wars and countless will die.”

Gwen: No, no, that’s wrong- you’re lying-”

Ealdgyð: “And yet you know I am right bcs if Arthur was not still waging his war against magic, I would be safely with my daughter but instead she is made parentless by the Pendragons and if Arthur is to continue having his way, my daughter will be made an orphan.”

Succumbs to Ealdgyð

Elyan still died unfortunately

A Lesson in Vengeance

Merlin uses magic subtly to save Arthur so Gwen doesn’t notice

The knights arrest Merlin for sorcery even tho they know he wouldn’t do it bcs who else could have

He still doesn’t tell Arthur about Gwen’s brainwashing bcs to accuse the Queen is a serious accusation

The Hollow Queen

Gaius tells Arthur the truth about Merlin going to save the young girl in the Valley of The Fallen Kings instead of the usual tavern business

(flashback) Sarrum took Kara hostage and forced Ealdgyð to comply for her sake and they were kept separately for the two years, only getting to see each other for mere moments

Merlin reveals to Daegal that Arthur knows of his magic and one day, magic will be commonplace in Camelot once more

Morgana agrees with Arthur that Merlin hasn’t got a girlfriend but Gwen teases her and asks if she’s jealous

Morgana: “of course not- in fact, I’m happy for him” but yk she’s lowkey jelly

With All My Heart

The Triple Goddess responds best to women so he (disguised as the Dolma (who is a pretty young lady might I add), not that it mattered bcs he’s is a he/she/they enby and I stand by that) and Morgana summoned the Triple Goddess (thank fuck that Morgana is Her High Priestess)

Morgana, Merlin, Mordred (having saved them mid-journey and then joined them), Aithusa and Arthur take Gwen to the Cauldron of Arianrhod

Mordred stays behind to try and cover their tracks, physically and magically, but is caught by Kara

Kara: “why do you stand behind someone who kills our people?”

Mordred: “Arthur has never killed any of us-”

Kara: “he stands by the law that put me and my mother through two years of hell! He is evil and if you cannot see that, you are not the Mordred I once knew and loved.”

Mordred: “Kara, please-”

Kara: “no-”

Mordred: “Kara, he knows! He knows about my gifts and he has not once even scorned for using them. The ban on magic is only up because we need to stop Ealdgyð from killing everyone-”

Kara: “why do you immediately forsake my mother? She is the only reason I am still alive, no thanks to you. The Pendragons are the reasons why we have been running for our lives our entire lives. And they are the reason why countless more children will never reach their truest potential and will never know who they truly are. Yet you still blame my mother who has done nothing but protect our people-!”

Mordred: “Your mother was going to kill everyone in Camelot just to spite Morgana! I still believe in the cause, Kara, but I do not believe in her and her ways!”

Kara: “We are druids and magic is our birthright!”

Mordred: “And druids are a peaceful people but Ealdgyð? She perverted our ways and has used the darkest magics, hurt countless people and all bcs she wants the throne. I will not join her so please, for the love of the Gods, don’t make me fight you Kara.”

Kara: “Tell us, tell me, who Emrys is and we won’t have to.”

Mordred: “Never.” *knocks her out w/ magic* “Forgive me, my love.”

The Kindness of Strangers

Ealdgyð thinks Alator a traitor for supporting the mighty Emrys who refuses to help their people in their time of need and so the torture begins

Merlin still doesn’t tell Arthur about the Alator-and-Finna-of-the-Catha situation bcs he’s busy yk and so tells Morgana and Mordred bcs it’s magic stuff so it’s their business too

He and Morgana go to find Finna

Merlin still attacked but Morgana stays with Finna and fights Ealdgyð and Finna is saved and on their side (bcs she is a Bendrui and they stand by Emrys, always)

The Drawing of the Dark

Mordred tells them it was Kara not some deer but still let her go

~ Later ~

Merlin: “why didn’t you stop her?”

Mordred: “how could I have?”

Morgana: “your magic is strong”

Mordred: “if you caught the love of your life after she killed someone, would you want to turn her in?”

Merlin: “you said it yourself, she killed someone”

Mordred: “she’s never wanted to hurt anyone. She only does this for her mother”

Morgana: “do you think she’d hurt her if she disobeyed?”

Mordred: “think about it this way: she practically raised me, called me her son in every way but blood and yet she now wants my head on a pike almost as much as she wants yours”

Arthur and Mordred patrol together (bcs they’re knights) w/ Merlin (bcs he’s Arthur’s) and find Kara and Mordred is shooketh at how bloodthirsty Kara has become

She is much confused when Merlin deflect the knife magically and he uses magic to bind her in front of them and no one bats an eye bcs she fr thought Mordred was bullshitting about Arthur being chill with it

She tries to kill Arthur again and does not take the chances he kept giving her for Mordred’s sake

Kara: “why do you continue trying to help me? You, who puts our kind through hell everyday.”

Arthur: “I want to make things better for all our peoples including you and yours but that cannot happen while your mother continues to attack, plague and kill our people, innocent people.”

Kara: “you’re lying - my mother would never hurt innocents”

Mordred: “we can show you”

Kara: “how?”

Mordred: “we were at the battle - you know the memory retrieval spell?”

Kara: “of course”

*le spell*

Kara: “that can’t be right- this must be some trick-”

Mordred: “Kara, look at me, look at me. You know me and you know I would never trick you like this. We did the spell together, out loud, and you can hear my thoughts so listen now. I did not trick you and we are not lying to you”

Kara: *crumples* “then the people I’ve hurt, the people I’ve killed-”

Arthur: “you were simply following orders, trying to make your parent proud; I know what that’s like. You are not to blame and you can save so many others if you only help us. Please.”

Kara: “to hear a king say please is a strange thing indeed.”

She comes back to the light

Magic squad is weirdly big considering the laws at this point but Camelot needs all the help they can get

Ealdgyð realises Merlin has magic bcs of the miraculous things that happen around Arthur and yk it’s too much to be just some coincidence plus she was keeping an eye on her daughter and saw Merlin deflect the knife and he is what keeps the magic squad together and she can only use the Gean Canach very few times bcs ‘tis rare

The Diamond of the Day 1

Merlin tells the knight squad and magic squad about his loss of powers and that he’s gonna go get them back somehow

Kara snitches that Eira is a spy for Ealdgyð and she gets dungeon time

Merlin, Gwaine and Finna go to the Valley of the Fallen Kings while Mordred, Kara and Morgana stay behind and protect Queen and kingdom

Ealdgyð knows Merlin will go the Crystal Cave to regain his powers

Gwaine stands guard at the cave mouth while Finna and Merlin go in but Finna has to stop and stay with Gwaine after a moment

Merlin: “this is a journey I must make on my own”

Gwaine: “could’ve told us that before we came out into the woods with you”

Merlin: “you’d have come with me anyways”

Gwaine: “yeah, you’re probably right”

Ealdgyð leaves after Gwaine sleeps with invisibility and silencing spells on to mask herself from Finna (who’s on watch at that point)

The Diamond of the Day 2

Merlin comes along looking like himself instead of Dragoon bcs there was no time to waste on disguises

The magic squad are beating Ealdgyð bcs yk there’s: Emrys, the High Priestess of the Triple Goddess, a Bendrui priestess and two highly skilled druids against Saesons

Merlin beats Ealdgyð and before she dies, Kara and Mordred get to say goodbye

Ealdgyð: “I’m sorry it came to this- all I ever wanted was a better life for you both and instead I dragged you into a war”

Kara: “we understand and we’re sorry too - we should’ve at least tried peace”

Ealdgyð: “that’s my fault”

Mordred: “and it’s our too. We could have insisted on it but we just blindly followed instead of talking to you”

Ealdgyð: “I’m so sorry my boy”

Kara: “rest easy, mother. Magic is returning to Camelot and we will be free once more”

Mordred: “goodbye Ealdgyð”

Post Battle-of-Camlann

Arthur (29) repeals the ban on magic

Kara (22) is formally pardoned bcs of her role in the Battle of Camlann bcs she saved Arthur’s life

Merlin (27) is Court Physician first and Court Sorcerer secondly after Gaius retires bcs mans is old af and Finna is Court Sorceress (and she still studies under him)

Alice returns and she and Gaius finally marry

1 year post Battle of Camlann

Arthur (30) and Gwen (28) have a daughter, Avlyn Pendragon, 1 year post-Battle-of-Camlann

Takes a year for Morgana (33) and Merlin (28) to finally get together and start courting

2 years post Battle of Camlann

Kara (23) and Mordred (22) marry

4 years post Battle of Camlann

Arthur (33) and Gwen (31) have a son, Cadwr Pendragon, 4 years post-Battle-of-Camlann (Avlyn (3))

Gwaine (33) and Percival (31) marry and we’re gonna pretend homophobia ain’t a thing bcs this is a comfort fic not a whump fic

Leon (37) starts courting Mithian (31) (idk y but they fit really well for some reason imo) and married after 6 months

5 years post Battle of Camlann

Merlin (32) and Morgana (37) marry and Hunith is very happy for them

Merlin (32) and Morgana (37) have twins, Morfydd and Ywaine

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sugarandspice-games · 3 years

Text

Okay, so I finally got through Saeran's good ending, I might go back and play the normal and other bad endings later if I feel like it, but as that was an emotional rollercoaster, I need some time to recover. But I'm going to put my full review under the cut.

Will I be releasing my rewrite outline at this point (though not really a rewrite, since I made it before the AE was ever released when I was drunk and salty at the lack of news)? I'm not sure. I wasn't 100% satisfied, but we'll call it a good 65% as I feel like there was more I liked than I hated. I'll leave that decision up to my dear readers, whether or not they want to see it. (Though there are only like... 8 of you here and I know you're probably here for Obey Me content and not MysMess)

I do plan on playing the Jumin Bad End DLC, but I may not liveblog it as I haven't really heard good things. This seems like another ploy for fanservice, but I do want to get more lore about Jumin's backstory, and honestly... I'm gay and want to see those sexy CGs. That being said... this is the last I will discuss the canon material on this blog, and it may be the last time I engage with the canon material (as I believe cheritz has announced that this is the finale anyway, and will no longer update the game). I will most likely continue to create fan content for it, as Sugar and I have our own sort of... fanfic thing going on with the characters and our OCs. But this is a personal and huge special interest of mine, and rather than go through everything and pick it apart for the rest of my days... I want to leave the game and the characters I love so much with only my happiest memories. They'll live on in my heart.

But I digress... here is my semi-condensed review. Sugar may talk about it as well, though I do not speak for them. THIS SHOULDN'T NEED TO BE SAID BUT HERE THERE BE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU DID NOT COMPLETE THE GOOD END OF RAY'S AE.

The Good:

Saeran. Saeran was the best thing about this route. His character development was beautiful, and every time I saw him, I felt my heart swell with pride and love. His new sprites are so adorable as well as his beautiful CGs, and he looks healthier and happier in a lot of them. He's grown to be such a loving, gorgeous, wonderful man despite everything that happened in his painful life, and his story is nothing short of inspirational. I have a lot of love for Saeran, I have from the moment I saw him but this route really drove it home for me. He will have a special place in my heart among my fictional loves that can never be replaced.

Jumin Jumin Jumin! Jumin was one of the absolute MVPs this route, he was doing the most and boy... I just want to hug him. Even though he was in horrendous pain he was doing the absolute best he could to help everyone. He's been a love of mine for a long time, and that love only grew in this route. I was also glad to meet Driver Kim and see the interaction between him and Daddy Han Sr. (Because obviously Juju is the junior Daddy Han lol)-- even though I have mixed feelings about the Chairman, it makes me happy to see Jumin getting the caring he deserves from his father. And the fact that he even turned his back to let Jumin express his emotions without feeling embarrassed... Fucking killed me.

They did Rika right this go around. Yes, she got off to a really rough start, but she was very human and bearable here... and complete with her realizing her wrongdoings and working to right them in the end. It was a gorgeous arc, I'm so happy for her. I have a love hate relationship with her character, as she used to be a very badly written villain IMO... but one of the good things about Another Story in general is that it gave her depth that she didn't have before. And if they wanted to redeem her, they 100% did it right here, even if she had a rough beginning and had to make mistakes to get to where she was. I thought it was very human. Good on you, cheritz.

Vanderwood got a lot of good interactions here, and I'm really happy they gave us more Van content. Even if we're not getting a route for him, it's enough to me to finally see him expressing the affection we all know that he holds for Saeyoung, and working to help him.

The twins finally get to be happy! Need I say more?

Everyone doing well in their lives made me really happy too... most of the other routes had this problem where if one person got to be happy, someone else would have to suffer in exchange. I'm so glad that everyone got a happy ending.

The new chats made me extra emotional... I'm not sure why, to be honest, I think I'm just happy to see everyone again. It had been such a long time since I played Mystic Messenger, and talking to everyone again just like old times felt like returning to a childhood home (though I was 19 when I discovered this game initially, haha). I cried a lot, which is extra weird for me since I don't tend to cry in general.

Yoosung loves Saeran soooo much... in fact, everyone does. It made me happy, bc I was initially worried that he wouldn't have made friends with the RFA or that it would be awkward, but seeing everyone loving him and him being sweet back to them was adorable. Jumin also loves him and you can't change my mind (though maybe that's my wishful thinking of being in a Jumin & Saeran sandwich talking...)

So many good messages in this AE, and they hit very personally. I came to the same realization last year, that in the end, nothing in life matters except love, since you can't take anything else with you when you die. I shan't elaborate more!

Everyone's voice acting was so good! It was so beautiful and emotional, I could feel it through their voices. I usually skip the voice lines since I read so fast, but I'm happy I didn't.

The Bad:

Oh Jihyun... what have they done to you? I know I said he wasn't OOC and I stand by that, but it really feels like the writers hated him this AE. Even his sprite looked so awful and blurry. And he didn't get any good realization that he deserved better or anything, the literal cult leader and prime fucking minister got to be redeemed when he didn't. What the actual fuck. Sugar will definitely have more to say about it, and probably in a more articulate way, but let it be known that I don't like it either.

Furthermore, even if it's not OOC, it's structurally sloppy for him to come to some realization only to stay the exact same as he's always been. And same with Rika too. As I said in a previous post, having them both go through these realizations only to make them the villains again really felt like beating a dead horse. What can I say except AAAAAAAAA. WHAT THE FUCK?

Again, I must reiterate... why'd they make it so you have to be a bitch to Rika to get the good ending? I get that it's probably wish fulfillment for some people in the fandom, but it isn't for me. I really don't have any desire to berate or insult her bc in the end she needs serious help (even if I wanted to throw hands with her sometimes), and if the point was to call her on her misbehavior... some of it went too far (looking @ the "Don't stab Saeran's eyes out!" choice. I didn't like that at all, especially since it felt like you were making fun of Jihyun's trauma.) It especially made the end of her arc fall flat when she's like "Thank you for being kind and trying to understand me..." like, gurl... the game didn't let me do that without making me bad end! Jeez.

Also, literally why was it necessary to redeem the prime minister? He's a monster who tried to murder his own children. It's okay if they needed that scene where Saeran and you tried to understand him, but having him actually come around made no sense... why would he want to listen to you or Saeran when we've seen time and time again that there isn't really any good in him? He's just not a good person. And no, I'm not saying this because I wanted him to die or anything! ...Okay, maybe I did. Fuck that guy. I hate him. (Also the whole "you're only this way because you're lonely!" was so corny, I didn't choose those options but gjkgkgkfk)

The Ugly:

Have y'all heard about how much I hate the agency Boss? I hate him so much... I want to drown him in the toilet. I want to feed him taco bell laced with laxatives. I want to-- anyway, I digress. Not classifying this under bad because cheritz did their job by making him hateable and oh boy, did I hate him. He made me want to barf. I also commend his voice actor for somehow making me feel greasy through the screen. Seriously, dude, hats off to you. You are a genius.

That's about all I have to say for now... you can peruse my talk tag if you want to see any of my other thoughts on this game, but they don't tie into the good and bad. Despite the flaws, I enjoyed myself this route and I'm happy I played it. Even though there will always be things to improve upon in this game... I'm happy I picked it up, and I'm happy I met everyone. I would write them all letters or something but that'd be kinda corny since they're just game characters and won't see it anyway, and I know I'm not the only nor am I the most attractive MC out there... so this is Spice, signing out! Byebye, Mystic Messenger. You'll always have a special place in my heart.

All of the... weird horniness between Rika and Saeran made me feel grossed out. Her having him in a collar with a leash, and the game options that insinuate she has a thing for him... ew ew ew. Please stop it. That shit is so disgusting and I'm going to puke.

@ Both Saeyoung and Saeran: stop fucking trying to die all the time! Seriously! Let me love you and want to save you, when will you get it through your thick skulls that one gay ass MC who loves you very very dearly would NEVER be happy if you died? AAAAAAAA

#ray ae spoilers #mysmess #mystic messenger #ray after ending #spice talks #mysme salt

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prosopopeya · 3 years

Text

New Year’s Meme

this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.

5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.

9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.

14. Where did most of your money go? food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s.

this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)

we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.

christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.

this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.

23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.

24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.

OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:

25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.

26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE

27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”

anyway back to the rest of the quiz:

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.

26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.

28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!

34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.

37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.

38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron

#happy new year #annual meme

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paradise-creator · 3 years

Note

Hi! May I have a romantic heaven box BNHA matchup, please? :)

I'm Flo, a 19 years old bisexual girl.

Appearance: I'm 164 cm(~5'3) tall, with slim, kinda athletic body. I have medium long brown hair and same coloured deer-eyes(probably most attractive part on me), I also wear eyesglasses. I have thin mouth unfortunately. Also, I have a tiny little scar above my right eyebrow(I opened our car's door on my head years ago lolol), it's barely visible. I'm vain and always dress like a lady: so dresses and skirts, I have a classy, elegant or cute style, depends on my daily outfit. I wear light makeup, but not all the time.

Personality: Ambiverted, Virgo with Leo ascendant and Pisces moon. Needless to say, these already represent how confusingly dual my personality is. My behaviour constatntly changes, depending on who I am with: I try to sell myself, being two-faced, wearing a mask(sometimes I appear to be talkative, other times full-stoic), but to people I really do love, I'm quite blunt. Most of the time I'm caring and relatively kind person(but can be an asshole&harsh if tired emotionally). Highly critical, opinionated and rational-thinker, and I usually analyze everything: movies, books, other people, myself. HATE small talk, I always want to talk about some deep shit, sharing my opinions, thougts(only if you ask for it). Enjoy debating. Also, I'm the REALLY clumsy, like clumsy af and I have an invincible talent in getting myself into the most embarrassing, cringe situations. Hate appearing to be weak or crying in front of others(I never do), and generally I can get melancolic and depressed easily. I don't really trust even my loved ones, I always hide my deepest emotional(or whatever) issues, I just can't stand the fact being emotionally vulnerable. Also, I bottle up feelings well. But I can be soft sometimes which suprises people. One of my best friends said, I am suprising, always doing something unpredicted. Additionally, I stress over something all the time. About my humour, it's kinda ironic, dark, morbid, troll-ish; roasting, teasing people 24/7. Don't worry, despite my sometimes serious act, I can be a total dumb idiot. Selfish, vain, lazy, snobbish hahah. Quite liberal, and I almost never judge people, I mind my own buisness. When I can talk about something I love or just sharing my opinion, I am passionate and be ready for a LONG rambling. Oh, I love alcohol and going out with friends, also I smoke those occassions. Plus, I have god-like hands, everyone told me that I could earn money bc of my massaging skills(I just know by instict how to touch people lol). Oh, and I daydream and zone out a lot.

Relationship: I don't really have a 'type' but I get bored easily: I takes a lot for me to really like in long-term a person, so I fall easier for complex and charismatic ones(but like I said, I can fall for other personalities too!!). I'm a quite difficult person to be with and to love, so I'm suprisingly flexible in a relationship. Only thing I need and without it wouldn't work at all: DEEP CONVOS AND SOME INTELLECT. Also, I have a quite roasting-bullying type humour, so my lover should understand and being able to handle that. Anyways, I'm not much of a PDA person(but I don't mid handholding, short hugs etc. if my partner really want to), and not romantic at all(also cannot flirt hehe), and for a long time I can be bit distant. Love language is words of affirmation&quality time, and if I have to express my feelings I'm best with acts of service. I love cuddling, ppl are suprised when I initiate hugs but tbh I love physical affection. I'm probably more likely the 'friend' lover. I need a lot, lot, lot alone time.

Hobbies/Likes: classical literature, theatre, politics, hiking, sightseeing, mysteries, reading about disappearances(crimes), trying out new things, yoga, running, horse riding, table tennis, listening to music

Sorry if I was too long, then just ignore me, hehe~

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ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ

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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Flashes of memory

- Such a loser

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Bakugou Katsuki, Dynamight

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Sun drops

- Honestly it took me a LONG time to think who you would match with

- There was Momo, Jiro, Denki, and Iida. I just couldnt pick

- But in the end, I choose my first option, Bakugou

- With Bakugou, one is never bored

- His sarcasm and snarky attitude can prove to be entertaining!

- Though he may not seem like it, Bakugou seem like a type of person that will never do small talk

- He's more of a listener tbh

- At first the relationship may be rough but in the end it all works out

- Bakugo is a complicated character, it's hard to read him and that's what makes it exciting

- He isn't into pda but in private, expect some INTIMATE times

- AGRESSIVE COMFORT

- He finds you so cute and entertaining whenever you tease/Bully other people

- ROAST COMPETITION NO CAP

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Flashes of memory

Bakugou: Oi, Dumass!

Requester: Yes?

Bakugou: I Fucking love you so stop being a Dumbass!

Requester: I love you too and I'M NOT A DUMBASS

Bakugo: Your MY dumb

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Random guy: *Flirts with requester*

Requester: *Is trying not to kill the man*

Bakugou: TAKE THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT! DON'T FLIRT WITH MY IDIOT

Kirishima: Ah, here we go again--BAKUBRO DON'T KILL HIM

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Bakugo: OI, NERD

Requester: *ignores*

Bakugo: OI DUMBASS DONT IGNORE ME!

Requester: *Continues to ignore*

Bakugo: Fine! I'm sorry for gatting you mad

Requester: That wasn't so hard now is it?

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Such a loser

"Oi, I heard from Shittyhair you've been criticizing yourself to harshly again. What are you such a dumbass?" Bakugou yelled as she stomped his way towards his girlfriend. "And what if I am?" She replied as she looked away from her book. The brown haired girl was just peacefully reading in her dorm. Nothing much was really going on, she was just studying. She has the tendency to be harsh on herself. And with classmates like hers, it often happens. And as a Boyfriend, Bakugou thinks it's his responsibility and his problem that if his love is sad or hurt or insecure, he will make sure they are loved.

"Get off of the fucking floor and go to bed. We're gonna cuddle and you can't say no as an answer," Bakugo growled. The girl sighed and placed her book down, it's not like she wants to deny anyway. So they went to lay on the bed. Bakugo pulled her head on his chest and wrapped an arm around her." You idiot! Stop being harsh on yourself, dammit," He said as he placed his head on top of hers. "You are already perfect. That's why you got to shut taht pretty little mouth of yours and accept that you are," He added.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Author's note

Hello there! Sorry for the wait, I was quite tired but here is the Haven box as requested.

#☁️matchup #anime #fanfic #fiction #bnha matchup #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha #mha bakugou #match ups #match up requests

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