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straight4joekeery · 1 year

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Teach Me How To Love In Your Own Lyrics

(Part four)

Prev. Part one

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“Steve, STEVE”

“What? What’s wrong?” He panicked. Oh. Oh no. He’s back. But there’s no way. Surely after 7 years he couldn-

“It’s 10 o’clock!”

Oh. “Huh?”

“It is TEN and I have to be at the airport by ELEVEN!! We over slept!”

“Shi-” he wasn’t gonna hear the end of this one.

“HURRY GET UP, LETS GO!!” Steve hopped out of Eddie’s bed without any delay.“We stayed up ‘PARTYING’,” he air quotes, “out of all things” Steve grabbed a few bags that he was sure Eddie needed and set them in the living room. “We’re gonna be late I knew it. I’m gonna miss my flight. I can’t go on tour. Oh my god I can’t go on-“

“Eddie it’s fine. I promise. We will make it and you will survive. Just go put these in my car.” He handed him some luggage and sent him on his way. He threw on some ‘airport appropriate clothes’ and fixed his already perfect hair. He grabbed the remaining bags locked the doors and ran so fast you would have thought a serial killer was chasing him. Eddie ran to take the bags so Steve could start the car. He still had the same exact stupid red Beamer. (Hey, it still ran fine so no complaints here.) Eddie jumped in the car before yelling at Steve to go. “Okay! Okay! Who’s house first?”

“I had a really strong feeling that this was going to happen,” nice going Steve, “so I told them to all go to Jeff’s.” Perfect only one stop. The airport was only about 20 minutes away so they should be fine. People in Hawkins don’t really have lives outside of work so the roads were empty. So Steve sped. What? It was only like 42 miles over the speed limit.

Eddie was visibly nervous. He was shaking really badly and you’d think he was trying to pry his nails off with his teeth. “Hey,” Steve placed his hand on Eddie’s leg to try to get him to calm down, “it’s going to be alright. On the bright side at least we woke up before eleven.” It made Eddie smile a bit so he’d mark that as a ‘you rule’.

“Thanks Steve,” Eddie grinned, “if we don’t make it you’ll drive us to cali right?” He joked. Steve didn’t know that though.

“Probably, when’s your first concert? Would we make it in time? That’s like a 3 day drive right,” you could see the gears turning to try to figure out the distance.

“Steve I was kidding,” oh, “you’d actually do that though?”

“For you? Of course I would,” he’d drive across the world for Eddie actually, but he’d never admit that. He smiled looking Eddie’s way. Oh no. He just realized he hadn’t taken his hand away yet. He removed it quickly. But not to quickly. That would probably make it even weirder. Eddie probably hated him now. When he comes back from tour he probably won’t talk to him. What? Why is he so worried about this? It’s even weirder that he freaking out. I mean, it’s just bros doing bro things. I mean after all they’re just friends. Right?

“It’s this street right here,” Eddie pointed at a street sign, snapping him out of his thoughts. It read, “Shirley road.”

“Okay,” Steve turned. He saw his band mates waiting out side and pulled up to them. He got out and took their bags.

“Thank god!” Jeff yelled

“We thought you’d never come!” Freddie said while he shoved his suitcase in Steve’s arms. Gareth just gave him a death glare as he handed Steve his stuff. Sometimes Gareth can be scary absolutely horrifying. Steve saw his face and checked his own pulse to make sure Gareth didn’t just explode him with his mind or something. They all jumped in the car simultaneously yelling at Steve and Eddie.

“I’m sorry!!” Eddie yelped, “you realize this tour means as much to me as it does to you. Now just please be quiet,” Eddie paused, “and hey why don’t you thank Steve for being so so generous and driving us?” Oh. That was… sweet? He obviously started blushing like a schoolgirl.

“Sorry,” Freddie mumbled

“Sorry Steve,” Jeff said. Jeff was the nicest one out of the three, so you could tell he meant it. Gareth said nothing. He however would not say anything about because he would 100% be murdered in his sleep.

“It’s no problem at all,” he smiled at Eddie. Eddie tried to smile back but he’s so stressed again he kinda forgot how. Of course this sends Steve into another spiral. He’s still mad at him isn’t he? Oh my god Steve you’re so stupid. He grips onto the steering wheel until in knuckles go white.

They spent the next 10 minutes of the ride in silence besides the tape that Eddie put in before they left.

“Sooo, how’s everyone feeling?” Steve said to break the silence. Freddie and Jeff agreed they were both super excited. Gareth… still wasn’t speaking.

“Honestly? I’m terrified.” Eddie said with another fake smile.

“Why? You guys are great.”

“It’s not that I think we’re gonna do bad! I know we’re going to be amazing! I don’t know. 3 months is kinda a long time,” he sighed loudly, “I get like horribly homesick,” he frowned.

“I’m sorry,” he didn’t want him to be sad, he had to cheer him up at least a little, “did I tell you literally all of my students love you guys? James is going to your concert.”

“James? The one that you said like never speaks?”

“Yeah,” he laughed, “was very passionate about you. Almost passed out when I said you guys went to Hawkins high.” And… oh thank the lords above who have blessed him on this fine evening (morning? He didn’t even know anymore.) This not only made Eddie smile but also Gareth. Steve might live to see another day after all!! “We made it!” Steve says as they pulled into the airport. He checked the time and, 11:10 they can’t easily make it (because they are so so cool and famous and are practically Royalty) but they have to run. Thankfully, tsa doesn’t take hours here.

“Okay rockstars! Let’s goooo!” Gareth spoke for the first time. They all scrambled out of the Beamer and ran to the trunk. Steve popped it open and grabbed a handful of random luggage. There was… a lot, all instruments considered. Once everything was out they all ran. Steve walked with them as far as he could without a ticket.

“Hey man, sorry for being… rude?” Gareth said putting his bag on the luggage belt.

Steve laughed, “it’s fine. I’d be mad at me too.” Gareth actually smiled at him. Oh thank the heavens above he doesn’t hate him. “And uh.. good luck. You’re gonna do great.”

“Thanks dude,” he said as he was walking away.

“Hey,” said Eddie from behind

“Hi.”

Eddie took a long deep breath before walking up to Steve and wrapping his arms around his neck. “I’m gonna miss you. Like a lot.”

“Yeah? Me too. A lot,” he laughed as he wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist. Although neither would ever admit it, they were both crying.

“Okay I have to go or I’m gonna be late,” he backed up. He sniffled and wiped his tears away, “see you in… three months,” he said rolling his eyes.

“Three months,” he sighed, “bye Eds.” He pulled him in for one last hug. (What? It’s not weird. They are friends. And plus he’s leaving for THREE MONTHS.)

“Bye Stevie,” they stayed like that for a while until Gareth yelled at them, “Okay now I really have to go,” he laughed. They said goodbye one last time before Eddie ran. He turned around before walking up to tsa to wave. Steve waved back.

He had to go. He ran back to that stupid car and opened the stupid door. He sat down in the stupid seat and closed the door. He stared to cry. He cried his stupid eyes out until he couldn’t breathe.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he muttered to himself. This is the first time Steve had actually cried since he was eight. Why? Why was he doing this?

He remembered back to his dads words, “kid quit your crying!” He yelled, “crying is for emotional sissies who will never be able to care for themselves. You will get nowhere from crying. It won’t magically make your problems away!” God he hated him. But he was right. Crying wasn’t going to make Eddie come back. He felt so pointless without him. He was his other half since the day Robin left. He missed her. If she was here she would tell him that everything was going to be okay.

This was so stupid. Steve was so stupid. He was crying for nothing. Speaking of, why on earth was he crying. He didn’t cry when Robin left permanently, why is he crying now. He thinks. And thinks. Thinks about how they are different. They aren’t? Because remember Steve and Eddie are JUST friends. Steve cried more at the stupid thought. Why? Why is this hurting him? It’s not like he wants them to be more then friends. (Right?) That’s weird. Plus Eddie isn’t gay.

“YOUR’E SO STUPID,” he yells to the top of his stupid lungs. He has to remind himself that they are just friends again. Plus he Eddie wouldn’t want that. Because it’s the truth. The stupid stupid truth. Right?

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MWAHHAHAHHA. FEAST MY CHILDREN. Im so evil. My goal is making at least 2 people cry. If you didn’t? Don’t fret! There’s still more 😉. Anyways. This one’s pretty goooooddd. Part count is still 9 or 10. So so sad for little baby Steve. Anywayssssss comment or reblog if you want to be tagged! I will say I hope you enjoyed but if you did you’re a psychopath 😘. Also lmk if I made any mistakes I only read over this once. Also don’t come at me for the airport anatomy. I haven’t been in one in a year and it was also 5 in the morning so I was very much not awake.

I’m also really sorry if you asked to be tagged and didn’t get tagged, tumblr is like not letting me tag a good portion of my people. if you are not able to be tagged I will message you! Let me know if you don’t want me to do that if this happens. (Also make sure you have your tags on!)

Tag list: @idea-less-author @queerbeansworld @asbealthgn @vecnuthy @jehneeg @steve-themom-harrington @bird-with-pencils @artiststarme @piningapple @lfaewrites @azreadytodie @thequeenrainacorn @pastel-dreamscape @importanttimemachinenerd @swagaliciousmarie @mightbeasleep @krazyperson @milkshakeflower @fando-random @bumblebeecuttlefishes @swimmingbirdrunningrock

Also it’s so annoying that I only get 30 tags. That’s where I truly express myself :(

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conduitandconjurer · 8 months

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How do I even articulate this?

Basically I continue to think Klaus is very fucked up but not in the same way that 90 percent of the fandom seems to think (or prefer) and it is the WEIRDEST experience. I'm just constantly like, "oh yeah, I guess that IS how most fans perceive this character."

Does ANYONE else (aside my long-trusted mutuals) get this?

#ooc #my sole consolation is that Rob Sheehan himself doesn't seem to think differently from me)#it's 100 percent a fellow fans thing)#and i have theories about why)#what fascinates me is that i only ever had this to this extent with one other muse)#Gabriel from SPN)#which is interesting bc Gabe and Klaus have a lot of similiarities including classic “mascot” role in an abusive family dynamic)#and being perceived as way way shallower than they really are)#they mask their pain and insecurity similarly with humor and hedonism)#and it's like everyone BUYS it)#meanwhile i'm like “but that's a trauma induced persona y'all”)#and then i realize maybe the audience identifies with that trauma and ALSO needs to mask)#so this is their comfort character that they turn into a safe self projection)#but to me the most counter intuitive part of this is that people need Klaus to be selfish and self thwarting and 'lazy' and 'cowardly' )#Klaus is their FAVORITE and they call him 'pathetic' and seem to RELISH that he's a 'loser' and 'doomed' to relapse)#and they say 'same' and 'me too' and i realize maybe they need this)#maybe it helps them feel less awful about themselves if their comfort character indefinitely fails to recover)#idk)

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fluffydancer618 · 2 years

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Day 2

Boy-oh-boy, this guy is the only one who won in my carnival game. Sure hope they just peacefully take their prize and leave without stealing something really important from me and starting the chain of events out of my (and in the near future their) control

#Ok anyway can I ramble about the fact that Hatcler is kinda mvp real quick ok thanks #Like 1. as I said de's the only one who won the carnival game. The game that was all about throwing knives (and water balloons but it does #not matter right now). The skill that so far on Rtumblr knows only c!Fluffy. And it's unknown who for both of them is better at it #2. The obvious one but they were able to steal the hat which sounds like a easy task but so far it was successfully done only by him and a #freakin demon with spells. And Hatcler doesn't have any magic they just apparently that good at stealth that are able to sneak up to a guy #with god knows how many eyes everywhere #3. De is immortal. Like. Completely. The list of traumas that Hatcler somehow survived includes being thrown at the walls multiple #times being stabbed multiple times falling from a big height 100% being used as a lab rat for c!Fluffy's mad science and etc etc etc #YOU CAN'T KILL IT.#YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM IT.#IT KNOWS HOW TO THROW KNIVES SO YOU CAN'T RUN EITHER #IT'S HATCLER #Also i believe this is the only piece of art with Hatcler that I made where I am not bullying/beating the hell out of him EXCEPT patpat gif #rtumblr #my art #hatcler

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spotlightstudios · 1 year

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Good news: Trying out making DnD dice tonight! (I'll post wip pics later hopefully!)

Bad News: Gods it's only happening because my dad wants to show off to our dnd group and sometimes I feel like an after-thought to his show-boating.

I shall update y'all on how it goes!

#light's spot #extra good news:#I plan on making fandom-themes sets once I get into it cuz yes I'm insane #and extra rant:#i talked about wanting to try making these months ago and he showed 0 interest #towards buying supplies or helping me #then we go to a con where people are hand-pouring their dice abd suddenly he's #buying supplies because *he* is interested #i'm grateful he's even including me #but it hurts that he's never willing to be interested in something that I like then #turns around and expects me to like stuff he does and do stuff he wants to just because he said so #like smh #trauma-dumping in the tags sorry guys #but goodness gracious it just sucks cuz he just does. not. listen.#the only time we actually have fun is when our interests 100% overlap #any other time it's a roadblock coming from either of us at any given time #ughhhh #just saying #it's not bonding time if either of us is no longer doing it willingly and/or having fun

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goldwingd · 2 years

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* ⏮ 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 : THE 2000′S COLLECTION .

INTRODUCING THE BARBIE DREAMHOUSE , STARRING CHANTALE MOREAU , ESMÉ NASSER & KARINA KAMENEV @silksdream

#╰ * FILED UNDER : 𝑘𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑘𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑎𝑠ℎ ⧽ edit catalog .#🏆 NEW COLLECTION UNLOCKED 🏆#i'm actually not 100% sure if barbie's count as a memento from the 2000's cosidering barbie has been around since sliced bread #but i also feel like the y2k collection emodies a lot of facet from childhood so it's only fair that barbies are included #REGARDLESS ! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR THE IMAGERY / ABSTRACT EDIT ERA #i've always imagined as these three as literal barbies — just such a diverse collection of womanhood and all the achievements they've #collected together like #is chantale an absolute demonic spawn of satan ? could karina bash your head in with her skate? could esme give you lifelong trauma with #a few skillfully crafted insults ?#/yes/#but is that not the height of femininity ?#i also love the way that these came out ? there was a separate idea i had for this concept that i couldn't figure out how to bring to life #but these covers in general are just so cute and m Y #BABIES ???????#IF YOU KNEW WHT WAS HAPPENING UNDERNEATH THE NAME CARD IN KARINA'S GIF YOU WOULD HAVE A SEIZURE #and when i was making this chantale gif i swear to god i RAN back to the brooks and chantale edits you made because i finally found out #WHAT THOSE GIFS WERE /FROM/ ?

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kindacreepy-kindaugly · 7 months

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weirdest fucking shit to fixate over but we just keep comin back to it huh

tmi in the tags probably

#stupid for so many reasons including the way it's just 100% impossible #cause that's not smth that's possible in ours even though in other systems it can happen #n also i'm like......80% sure our inworld body doesn't have the required uh. inner equipment. can't be 100% on that though #i think it's maybe an ocd thing cause it always flares up around specific triggers (like the monthly cycle)#n the system as a whole has had related intrusive thoughts n paranoia for as long as we can remember #i think even before we'd had our first period but definitely at least since then (so 11yo->)#but. it's never been this constant before. i think vivec gets it sometimes but iirc it's more...sporadic for him #n makes more sense since he's had children before n has a crapton of trauma around that #but why me n the subsys?? it's only related to system shit too cause in my source memories i'm cis #just not here cause of the body we inhabit n the effect that has on my/our inworld body #still don't think the internal parts are functional that way though #plus i haven't even seen val let alone fucked him in a long long time now. so why???#he n doll barely do the uh. relevant stuff anymore either even if they're somewhat active in other ways #n all the feelings are so fucking complicated cause. everyone in the subsys feels differently about it #i fucking hate it. the thought makes me feel ill. violated. like the last of my autonomy has been stripped away.#honey's scared cause he feels like he did smth bad n is gonna be punished for it even though val's the one who always wants to. do all that.#doll....daydreams about a domestic life w/ him so he secretly likes the idea of havin his baby.#not the practical parts of it though. just the fantasy #silk is a mix between honey n secretly thinkin maybe val would care about him then. like maybe it'd fix things.#spyder doesn't seem to have the thoughts at all n runaway i think is asleep #plus...we actually know how val feels about all that. there was a conversation cause of some of the shit he says when he's at it #he likes the baby makin part (n i don't just mean fucking. he gets rly into the details.) n the idea of...succeeding at it #cringe shudder vomit etc #but if he thinks abt it any futher he seems....mostly just kinda disgusted.#though he was tryin to be gentle abt it (cause it was w/ doll) so all he said was he doesn't mean it for real he just likes the thought #cause they 'both know he's not parent material'#at least he's self aware enough to know that i guess. what with him regularly beatin his canon (pretend) daughter n all #so why the FUCK are we so fixated on this #it makes me feel rly nasty n at worst causes phantom pains so i'd rly rly like not thinkin about it ever #spdrvent

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delta-lethonomia · 2 months

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There's a reddit thread on the BG3 sub where the user u/InklingRain posted a spreadsheet they made with all the companion approvals. Super useful in general both for playing the game and for fic, so I thought I'd post it on tumblr and play around a little!

There's a top row with the average approval by companion, but I didn't find that very useful, so I changed it to the count of approvals (i.e. count of approvals & disapproval total, how often a companion had a reaction to something). We all know Astarion gives a lot of disapprovals here and there, but they're only -1 at a time, so no big deal, right?

No. Minsc has the least at only 45 reactions, Halsin at 95, Minthara at 145, and of the main companions, Gale is pretty average at 198, Lae'zel at 224, and Shadowheart, rather opinionated at 258...

but that's nothing compared to Astarion's 406. That's almost 150 more than the next person!!! That's more than Minthara and Shadowheart combined! Babygirl really woke up one day and decided to get in a snit over everything that happens 😂

(Longer post about count of positive and negative opinions, sum of approvals and disapprovals, and some major outliers below. Picture with values at the very end.)

But that's a bit disingenuous. If we look at the ratio of positive to negative opinions (not taking value into account), Astarion's pretty average at 30% (negative count over sum count, so let's call that negativity). This is similar to Gale (31%), Karlach (30%), and Lae'zel (32%). In theory, getting Astarion's approval or disapproval is just as easy as any of theirs, with a 20% bias towards positive approvals. Later companions are weighted heavily towards the lower end of the spectrum, with Jaheira at 13% negativity and Minsc at 9%. As you only get them very late, it's pretty clear that the game gives you a lot of opportunities to get their approvals and thus open up more of their quests and dialogue.

However. We have an outlier. Wyll Ravenguard, clocking in at an indecent 38% negativity! Which really just goes to show, while Astarion is the most opinionated, Wyll has the most disapprovals, making him the judgiest companion of all 🤣

However, this really wouldn't be a good post if we didn't look at the value of approvals. Karlach, for instance, has the strongest disapproval value of -100 (given if you sleep with her and then call it a mistake). Ouch. This is clearly at outlier and doesn't say much about Karlach's changeability of opinion in general. If we look at the sum of positive and negative opinions, this is a very heavy swing, making up 100 points of her total 191 disapproval points possible to her 281 approvals total. Another outlier is Minsc, who currently possesses a 43% disapproval percentage (a heavy -50 disapproval given if you sacrifice him to Sarevok. Jaheira, by contrast, apparently doesn't give a damn, or her value might simply not be included in the dateset.)

Removing outliers is really a matter of opinion here, so I'll only remove the most extreme swings, such as the above mentioned disapprovals.

The otherwise strongest swings are Astarion (-15 for telling him it was a mistake preventing him from drinking Araj's blood, or saying you only wanted to sleep with him, not deal with his trauma) and Wyll (+20 for siding with Karlach during his confrontation with her, which really shows he didn't really want to kill her and is very grateful you stopped him). Halsin gives +40 for reuniting Oliver with Thaniel, which...lifting the shadow curse is sort of his life's mission, and a bit of a unique case, so while it makes sense, I think it's such a unique event that can't be topped by anything else and will remove it. Jaheira give +20 for extending the Emperor's protection to Minsc, and, for funsies, Minthara's heaviest disapproval is -5 for donating to Lolth at the Stormshore Tabernacle. (lol)

I only chose to remove the aforementioned Karlach, Minsc, and Halsin values, as they're all very large swings and rather character-defining or personal to the individuals mentioned, so I don't think it says much about them in a more general day-to-day sense.

Now, using the sums of our negative and positive values, Gale is our most Negative Nancy, clocking in at 37%, which goes to show that while he's pretty average for the amount of things he cares about, when he disapproves, it's a strong one. Next up is Astarion at 35%, and Wyll at 34%. Lowest are Jaheira and Minsc at 7% and 4% respectively, which makes an intuitive sort of sense: Jaheira is old and just over being upset by the players poor choices, and Minsc is an insanely positive person overall. The next most positive companion is Halsin at 13%, which also matches with his vibe pretty well, followed by Minthara at 17%, Karlach at 24%, Lae'zel at 26%, and Shadowheart at 28%.

Tl;dr: Astarion has many, many opinions, but Wyll is the most judgemental (most disapprovals compared to approvals possible). However, when it comes to the strength of those disapprovals, Gale reigns supreme, followed by Astarion.

If don't break Karlach's heart, help Halsin achieve his life's ambition, or sacrifice Minsc, then they're pretty positive overall. Later companions are heavily weighted to approve of your actions, and Minthara is comparatively judgemental, but overall far more easy to gain approval than disapproval from.

If you take the average of all these values and include the later companions to look at as a personality "baseline" of how judgy and how strong those disapprovals may be, then...the Act 1 companions are all dramatic af, which really should come to no ones' surprise, while Karlach is the most willing to give the benefit of the doubt imo.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #wyll ravengard #gale dekarios #the best time to mess around with a spreadsheet is 2am of course #I hate google sheets but don't care enough to do fancier things in excel #could I do actual math here? yes. am I going to? no

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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 8 months

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Been thinking about why the argument that OFMD is inherently a bad show because it's based on historical slaveowners so often feels disingenuous to me as a person of color.

HUGE disclaimer up front: if you don't wanna fuck with the show because of that premise right out the gate, that's 100% valid and I completely get that. I'm not talking about that. What I'm specifically talking about is White fandom people in particular who argue that OFMD must be "problematic" because of this, especially when they say this as some kind of virtue-signalling trying to win points in fandom wars, stuff like that.

My big thing is that the resemblance the characters in OFMD have to their real-world namesakes begins and ends with having the same name. The show feels more to me like it's playing with the vague myths around these names, not the people themselves. Can you make an argument that they should have come up with original characters instead? Sure, but let's be honest, even people who study the irl counterparts have very little knowledge of their actual lives, and the average person has all but none. To add to that, this show has absolutely zero interest in historical accuracy; the moment they cast a Jewish-Polynesian man as Blackbeard that became obvious. No one is saying the real-life Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet were good people, least of all the show itself; the point is that OFMD's versions are basically original characters already.

It always feels like an incredibly disingenuous claim to parallel the show to Hamilton, because Hamilton both did care about historical accuracy and also brought up the slave trade. Hamilton is uncomfortable for so many poc because it writes poc into the story of otherwise very faithfully portrayed racists, colonizers, and slaveowners and just handwaves the racism. In OFMD, racism exists, but the stance is always explicitly anti-racist and anti-colonialist in a way that is just so fun to see (whom among us has not wished to skin a racist with a snail fork?).

The other thing that sticks for me is...there's an appropriate amount of slavery I want to see in my romcoms, and that amount is none. I am so sick of historical fiction where Black characters are only there for trauma porn about the horrors of the slave trade. You can make a legitimate argument that OFMD is handwavey about the slave trade, but I'd argue that including discussion of the slave trade is something that should be done with such incredible care that it would leave us with a show that can't really be a comedy at all anymore. OFMD's characters of color are allowed to be nuanced, complex characters with their own emotions, and it's incredibly refreshing to see, and I'd much rather have that than yet another historical fiction show where the only characters of color are only there to make White audiences feel virtuous about how sad they feel for them.

In conclusion, I guess: every yt person who makes this argument to win points in a fandom war owes me and every other fan of color a million dollars

#ofmd #our flag means death

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sailoryooons · 3 months

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Boyfriend Material | jjk (m)

☾ Pairing: Hockey Player!Jungkook x f. Reader

☾ Summary: Jungkook isn’t boyfriend material – except when he is.

☾ Word Count: 2,127

☾ Genre: FWB, Hint of Angst, Smut

☾ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.

☾ Warnings: Friends with benefits who are very obviously pretending not to have feelings, being in a confusing relationship that is basically a relationship without titles, feelings of confusion and self-doubt, lying to oneself, mentions of some toxic interactions with other people/women, repressed feelings, explicit sexual content including oral (f. receiving) in the shower, honestly, in general, some very cliche/stereotypical conflict you’d find in a relationship with someone of status

☾ Published: March 23, 2024

☾ A/N: This is a self-insert of one of the most confusing relationships I have ever had in my life and I will die on the hill that no one should date athletes because 98% of them are the rule, not the exception no matter how much they seem like it! TRAUMA!!! Also, should I have been dating a professional athlete for the sport I worked in? No!!!! This is for all the people who have been in a not-relationship-that-is-a-relationship why the fuck do people do that like it is okay to have feelings and call ur partner ur partner??

☾ A/N 2: This is drabble number six for the Drabble Challenge that I have been utterly failing at! Today I rolled for ‘athlete’ but I didn’t feel like writing actual sports so I was like :) I worked in sports for ten years, I can just share a glimpse of my life when I was 23 years old :) Enjoy

☾ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

Main Masterlist ☾ 100 Drabble Masterlist ☾ Ask ☾ Song Inspiration

“Fuck, I’m so tired,” Jungkook groans, leaning back in the chair and stretching his arms. Sun beats down on his golden skin. You feel the heat of it on your back and the top of your head. It’s pleasant, the cool spring breeze threatening to send the napkins on the table running. “Wanna lay out at the pool?”

Finishing the rest of your coffee, you nudge the empty plate away from you. Where once an eggs benedict had stood is now smears of leftover yolk and a single onion you missed when eating your hashbrowns.

“Not sick of me?” you ask, raising a brow.

Jungkook isn’t looking at you, scrolling on his phone. The bill of his hat is pulled low, hiding most of his face as he squints down at the device held low in his lap. You wait patiently for his answer, running your finger up and down the now-empty glass as it sweats from the sun.

“Nope,” he answers, popping the end of the word sharply. “Did you ever get your desk fixed? Yoongi said he would fix it if not.”

“I have not.”

He nods. “He said he’ll swing by this afternoon. We can lay out at the pool at my place and then head to yours after?”

Your mouth twitches. You don’t say it out loud because you don’t want to risk him backing out, but another full day spent with Jungkook is a surprise to you. Not because it doesn’t happen often – it does. But rather because it keeps happening more often.

Jungkook isn’t boyfriend material. He’d established that the first night he met you at a bar. Him being a professional athlete was a warning sign enough that you didn’t want to romance that but what had come afterward has been nothing short of surprising.

Friendship and… well. You don’t know how to explain the extras.

Jungkook isn’t boyfriend material. But you do your groceries together on the weekend. You drop him off at the arena when they’re heading out for a road trip. You take him to doctor's appointments to monitor the knee injury from last season.

You’re not Jungkook’s girlfriend but he takes you to team events. He lets himself in and does your laundry at your apartment while you’re at work so you don’t have to do it when you come home. He has his teammates fix furniture for you and they’ve asked you to babysit their kids.

“Babe?” the endearment makes you blink a few times, realizing you’d been staring into your lap. Jungkook’s dark eyes are focused on you now, phone shoved into his pocket. “We don’t have to go to the pool. We can just nap.”

We. Not you. Jungkook is going to hang out with you regardless if you like his original idea or not. Your stomach flips in that way you hate, the way that you know you’re doing everything you said you wouldn’t.

“Sounds good.”

Jungkook flashes a grin and you become acutely aware that thinking you could be friends with benefits without being anything more was a stupid idea. Jungkook is not made to be resisted, with round eyes that darken when he’s turned on, a giggle that contrasts with the big, broad-shouldered athlete built, a smile that lights up the room and can dispel any tension, a sweet voice that can tempt anyone the moment he pouts or when he decides to pur.

You were fucked - literally and figuratively - that first night you let him in your apartment.

Instead of thinking about it, you hide from the truth. Again. Jungkook is not boyfriend material, despite the fact that he pays for breakfast despite your protests, and reaches over the center console in the car to squeeze your thigh.

“Mmm,” he hums, fingers skating over your flash and making you squirm in the passenger seat. “Warm.”

“I was sitting in the sun.”

“I like it.”

Jungkook likes a lot about you. He tells you all the time, very open about how he likes the way you taste, likes the way you organize your books by color, likes the way you sing in the shower, likes the way you speak in Star Wars quotes.

Perhaps that’s what makes you the most wary about him. He says he’s not boyfriend material, but his actions betray his words. And you let them, every single time.

Jungkook smells like sunscreen, sweat, and a little bit of his cologne from earlier that morning. You’re hyperaware of him as you lounge on the cabana bed together, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his firm body.

His tattooed arm is tossed over his eyes, blocking out the sun as he snores a little. Careful not to knock into him, you lean over him and grab his phone to check the time. You haven’t been lounging in the sun long, but you don’t want him to get a sunburn.

Again.

You wager you can stay a little longer, placing the phone back down under his discarded shirt where it can hide from the sun’s heat. Sitting back in your spot, you pick up your book from your sweaty thighs as the sound of the gate to the pool yard opening catches your attention.

Some of Jungkook’s teammates live in the same apartment complex. It’s easier that way, especially for the players who get sent up and down from the minors. You catch a few of the younger players with a few girls you don’t know the name of tugging a cooler on wheels behind them with a speaker blaring.

Jungkook doesn’t so much as move. He can sleep through anything – has slept through you falling into his gaming setup while trying to get to the bathroom drunk. His slumbering leaves you to watch them head to the beds a few over from yours.

One of the girls notices you. You don’t recognize her specifically, but she recognizes Jungkook. Looks back at you. Frowns and mutters something to one of the other girls, who is not very subtle as she cranks her head around in your direction.

You don’t wince anymore. It’s not an uncommon thing, among these circles. You refuse to engage with any of it. You used to tell yourself it was because a casual whatever-Jungkook-is simply isn’t worth the drama. At night, you know you don’t engage with it because you don’t want to know.

Ignorance is bliss, especially in this dangerously plastic world Jungkook exists in.

Thankfully, you’re not alone in the matter. Jimin appears out of thin air, dropping down on the empty bed next to you. Namjoon – arguably Jimin’s better half and team captain – is nowhere to be found. Jimin lowers his shades and looks beyond you to the group of now rowdy players.

“Gross,” he huffs. He slides his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and stretches out on the bed like a cat. Jimin doesn’t play, but he certainly has the body of an athlete, all fine lines and corded muscle. “Ignore them.”

“I was doing that already.” You lift your book as if to prove yourself.

He snorts. “You were thinking about it, be honest.” Your silence is answer enough and Jimin grins, lacing his hands behind his head as he tilts toward the sun. “Don’t let Jungkookie burn again.”

“I’m not,” you huff before snapping your book shut. Jimin is in the circle of player’s partners that you genuinely enjoy, but he has the keen ability to get under your skin and tell you all of the truths that you don’t want to be voiced out loud. Still, having him on your side has more benefits than just keeping the hyenas away from you. He’s also genuinely nice when he wants to be. “Jungkook, wake up.”

The man mumbles and turns his head away from you. You sigh heavily, squeezing his strong, very sweaty arm gently. “Come on, you’re gonna burn if you stay out here any longer.”

“Mm. Feels nice.”

“A sunburn won’t feel nice.”

“You can rub aloe all over me.”

“I will not.”

“Just five more minutes.”

“Jeon.”

He drops his arm from his eyes, squinting in the bright light at you. His hair is damp with sweat and hangs in his eyes. He’s been growing it out longer and longer, especially since Seokjin keeps encouraging Jungkook by telling him he has the best flow on the team.

“So you don’t want to rub aloe all over me?”

“You don’t need to get sunburned for me to touch you, Jungkook.”

“Bleh,” Jimin grunts.

That makes Jungkook sit up, rolling his shoulders and twisting to pop his back. He sighs for a moment, closing his eyes as though willing himself to get up. When he opens them again, there’s a light in them and he smirks, looking you up and down.

“Wanna shower?”

Your mouth twitches and you roll your eyes to hide how much you want to shiver. “Come on,” you sigh, getting up, the fabric of the sunbed clinging to your sweaty skin.

Eyes cling to you as you pull the sundress over your head and slide your sandals on. You don’t have to glance over at the mini-party a few sunbeds over to know you’re being watched. You suppose they’re watching Jungkook more than anything, but you’re in direct view behind him, grabbing your book.

You know Jungkook notices them. He says nothing, though. Instead, he offers his hand out when you shove all your belongings in a bag, wanting to carry it. You grin and hand it over to him, smile growing as he shoulders it easily and offers his hand again, this time for you to take.

And you do take it. Perhaps the satisfaction that thrums through you as he leads you out of the pool yard and onto the deck that crosses the lake toward his apartment building is a little bit insidious. You don’t care. The momentary triumph that you shouldn’t be feeling at all is far too powerful and Jungkook’s hand is far too warm and safe in yours to care about why you feel good about the public display of affection.

It isn’t like he hasn’t done it before. Jungkook isn’t shy with others in front of you. It’s what makes the whole thing worse, somehow. Because Jungkook isn’t boyfriend material, but he introduces you to people and friends and slides between your legs to lean on you when you’re sitting on a barstool. He holds your hand when you go on a lunch and shopping spree with your mom and he brings her coffee and flowers.

Jungkook isn’t boyfriend material, but you don’t care when the shower hits the warm skin and runs down your back as he presses your chest to the cold shower wall in front of you. The cool stone stings against your nipples, over-sensitive and sending a shiver down your spine as your eyes flutter shut.

Jungkook isn’t boyfriend material, but he curses low under the sound of the shower as he pries your legs apart, tongue seeking the heat between them hungrily. Your mouth falls open as Jungkook’s tongue licks you soft-slow, lips sucking gently against your clit.

“Shit,” you hiss. The difference in temperatures between the hot water and the cold wall makes the room spin. Steam makes it harder to breathe, your head pleasure-dizzy as Jungkook laughs and rolls his tongue lazily around your dripping cunt. “Fuck.”

Jungkook isn’t boyfriend material, but he eats you out slow and hungry. He doesn’t care that the water starts to lose its warmth as his mouth works you, smacking his lips loudly and moaning, vibrations going straight to your core where you drip on his soft tongue.

His hands grip your ass, fingers digging into the flesh as he pries you apart further, tongue delving into your aching hole. He slurps at you, mouth loud and sticky over the sound of your panting and the water hitting the tile floor. His little hums of appreciation buzz through you, making the room spin.

“Fuck,” you whisper, pressing your cheek to the wet, cold stone as you try to ground yourself. You twist an arm backward, gripping Jungkook’s wet hair. He lets out a loud groan in appreciation, always pleased when you pull on his hair. “Don’t stop.”

Jungkook isn’t boyfriend material, but he does whatever you want him to. His tongue delves in, working you to orgasm until you’re shaking against the wall, knees knocking together and nearly collapsing on him. He catches you easily, standing and pressing you against the wall as he grabs your chin and brings your mouth toward him, his to devour.

Jungkook isn’t boyfriend material.

But more than anything, you want him to be.

#jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook fic #jungkook bts fic #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #100 drabble challenge

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swarovskiseraph · 1 year

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SOME* OF YA'LL ARE NEVER GOING TO GET YOUR DESIRES, AND YOU'LL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELVES

*WARNING: TOUGH LOVE RANT. also, like everything in life, take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not doing anything i mention in this post, then this post doesn't apply to you.

before anyone comes for me, MOST of us are going through (or have gone through) hard circumstances. many of us have come from abusive households, abusive relationships, poverty, homelessness, & just overall bad circumstances.

but you know why the bloggers & anons who succeed in manifesting their desires/desired lives ACTUALLY SUCCEED?

because they took accountability for their current state and their limiting patterns.

because they were disciplined & determined enough to claim their desire(s), apply the law, & persist regardless of EVERYTHING.

because they knew that this practice would actually change their lives forever and allowed NOTHING to stand in their way.

AND GUESS WHAT? NOW THEY HAVE THEIR DESIRES/DESIRED LIFE!

if you were to be 100% honest and tell me why after months/years of being in this community you STILL haven't manifested your desires/desired life yet, what would be the answer?

overconsumption? procrastination? laziness? lack of persistence?

whatever the case may be, what i do know for a FACT is that it has been no one's fault but YOURS.

many of you guys come running on this platform; asking the same repetitive questions, complaining about not seeing results, whining about how sad your life is and how hard your circumstances are, or just straight up hating on some of these bloggers that are helping you FOR FREE, when they could be using that time to enjoy their desires/the life that they manifested for themselves.

LIKE...DO YOU REALIZE HOW PATHETIC & ENTITLED SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE?

"can you pleaseee manifest/tap into the void for me?" 🥺

"im so lazyyy, i can't be bothered to persist..." 🥱

"loa is FAKE! you guys are a bunch of lying b***hes..." 🤬

"my life is sooo hard, i have such a horrible life...*continues to trauma dump*" 😭

OHHH MYYY F*CKINGGG GODDD!

there are MILLIONS of people in the world who are in unfavorable/horrible circumstances that have NO IDEA what the law of assumption is, and have NO WAY to access this type of information!

you guys literally have the knowledge and awareness to make the most beautiful life possible for yourselves with JUST YOUR IMAGINATION, and yet, A LOT of you guys are the most ungrateful, lazy, irresolute, undisciplined whiners, who don't want to do even the BARE MINIMUM to change your entire lives!!

TRUST ME, everyone on this platform (including myself) understands that there will be setbacks. we all know that they are going to be bad days. we all understand that everyone has their own personal/mental issues. we get that life has obstacles and that not every day will be a win.

BUT, you guys NEED to put in the effort & not give up! you guys NEED to STOP letting your ego win! you guys NEED to get tf off of social media and stop overconsuming information. you guys NEED to claim your desires/desired life, stay consistent & persist until your desires/desired life has materialized.

because guess what, a day turns into a year pretty quickly, and you'll have gone another year of NOT having your desires/desired life, and it's going to be no one's fault but yourself...

do you REALLY want another year of watching everyone else get what they want besides you? do you REALLY want another year of not having your desired appearance, your sp, or financial freedom?

REALLY?

i hope the answer is no...because that's a HUGE waste of time that could be used to actually have the things & life you want.

everyone deserves to live the life they want...but at the end of the day, no one & nothing has the power to manifest the life you want but YOU.

#law of assumption #loa #manifest #manifesting #manifesation #spirituality #self concept #neville goddard #success story #void state #void success #void success story

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scottycomics · 5 months

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Palestine Charity Bundle

Hey ya'll! I'm creating this Comic Bundle Sale specifically for the Palestine Trauma Center UK!

100% of the funds will be donated so if you'd like to help out, please consider checking out this bundle! It includes all my current Ebooks at a flat rate of $10!!!

Thank you so much for your time.

Check out the Charity Bundle Here

#palestine #charity #bundle #sale #free palestine #gaza #free gaza #comic #comics #art #artists on tumblr

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strange-aeons · 8 months

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You might be amused to know that you inspired me to give the main character in my novel a pneumothorax. He's a 37-yo man meeting his father for the first time... He literally knocks on his dad's door all "hi, Dad" and then COLLAPSES because his lung says "hey, fuck you." (Poor blorbo.) Bonus that he has no choice but to go down in a submarine shortly after this.

Hello!! I will preface this by saying that you have no obligation to make your stories realistic. Fuck around. Do whatever you want.

However, I will leave you (and any other eavesdropping writers) with some relevant pneumothorax facts. Spontaneous ones pretty much only happen in young people (15-25. I had my first one at 19), so this seems unlikely unless your character has been a lifelong chainsmoker, has some underlying lung disease, or suffered recent trauma to the chest.

The pain isn’t really the type to make you INSTANTLY COLLAPSE. it’s definitely VERY BAD but when I had my first one I thought it was a severe muscle cramp when it started. I was working as a server at a restaurant at the time and I kept working for about 5-10 minutes before realizing it was getting worse and I had to go home. After another 10 minutes of walking home I could not move my upper body and felt like I was fucking dying and being stabbed. It gets exponentially worse the more you move.

Going in a submarine or plane is a very bad idea!! (And that’s clearly the appeal here) specific risks to blorbo include increased lung collapse (if it’s not already collapsed 100%, which it might not be, because that’s rare. It happened to me! But it’s rare.), damage to the lung, including bleeding and coughing up blood (points for drama), and cardiac arrest.

Ask me anything I am a professional pneumothorax haver.

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pick-me-up-im-scared · 10 days

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Can't Sleep (Ellie Williams x Reader) (Smut)

Short Summary: Ellie has been struggling to fall asleep due to her past trauma. But you might have just found something that could work! Without even being contious.

⚠️Warning!⚠️: This story contains smut that includes somnophilia. Also includes a small mention of past trauma/ptsd

Words: 1379

(Credit to however the pictures belongs to, they’re not mine! I just found them on Pinterest like everyone on this fucking app does)

Ellie sighed as she looked up at the ceiling. Another night ruined. She truly didn’t understand why she kept trying when 99,9% of the nights would end up with her waking up at around 3 am and not be able to go back to sleep. Being used to this she would usually look around the dark room for about 15 minutes before getting up and spend the rest of the night watching some useless tv show while scolding herself for not being able to sleep this night either. Either you would wake up, glancing to your side and notice the bed being empty and thereafter walk down the squeaky stairs to see your girlfriend hunched down on the sofa. Or sometimes you didn’t even notice until your alarm went off, signaling you to wake up and get ready for work. Yeah, those days definitely left you feeling guilty……. You really felt bad for her, you do! If you could somehow give her your sleepiness, if just for a day every once in a while, you would 100% do it. Without a doubt! But unfortunately you can’t, which leaves you with only one option, supporting her as best as you can. You’ve went to the doctor, therapist, anyone who could potentially help her with her trauma, but to no use. The sleeping pills she got prescribed only left her feeling more sleepy, yet her mind wouldn’t let her sleep. At least not for more than an hour or so.

Ellie sifted her glance from the wooden ceiling to the sleeping figure beside her. You were currently facing her, allowing her to take in your beauty. Fuck, she had no idea how she got so lucky. If you asked Ellie she would DEFINITELY say you’re out of her league, but you assure her she’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of (and more). Her eyes trace over your peaceful face, your eyebrows slightly frowning, most likely due to a dream, your lashes lightly touching your under eyes, and your cute lips slightly pouting. Holy fuck she wanted to kiss you so badly. Her eyes continued down your neck, onto your décolletage that’s being highlighted by the moonlight before they stop at your…..chest. Being the summer time you always wore a spaghetti strapped crop top to bed, along with whatever underwear you used the day before. But the nights sure could be a little chilly.

One of your straps had fallen off your shoulder, allowing more of your boob to show then intentionally. Ellie tried not to look, but failed miserably. Knowing just how soft they feel in her hands she had to physically restrain herself from reaching out and touch them. Ellie continued to eye your exposed breast while letting her imagination wander free, not being aware of just how excited it got her until she, by reflex, pressed her thighs together and notice a wet patch. “Fuck” Ellie mumbled as the embarrassment came over her. She can’t get this fucking wet just from staring at your clothed boob! That’s the keyword “clothed”. Ellie bit her lip as she hesitated on “helping” the fallen strap to “accidentally” fall even lower down. Resulting in your boob hanging out free. Ellie let out a shaky breath when your harden nipple was bare for her eyes to see. Yep, definitely chilly.....

Even though this was far from the first time she's seen your naked breasts (living together for over four years leads to a lot of topless moments, sexual or not) she couldn't help but feel giggly like a school boy when she did. Her eyes took a quick glance at your face to make sure if she disturbed your sleep by her "action". But you continued to let out the peaceful breath that sometimes helped her succeed in falling asleep (if only for an hour). Taking in your unbothered expression Ellie got the courage to make her next move. She reached out her tatted arm and carefully placed her veiny hand on your exposed breast. She had to bite her lip to not moan at the contact with your smooth skin. But she soon drew it back, quickly, when you started to move. Her cold fingers had shocked you, and even though you're still in sleep, you let out a groan and rolled onto your back. But in your change of position your top had slid down even lower, resulting in both your boobs being free from the fabric.

Ellie´s eyes widened as she eyed not one, but both of your tits. She couldn't help herself. Shortly after she lowered herself and gave your right nipple a feather-light kiss. She groaned before going in harder. Her mind wouldn't let her think straight, too high on the taste of your skin. She continued to suck on your right nippled as she fundled with the other. The feeling was unreal. Without noticing it Ellie started to grind herself against your mattress, her body trying to find a way to release the pleasure she’s feeling. But it wouldn’t work. Ellie let out a frustrated whine at the lack of friction she got, nothing for her poor throbbing clit to attach to. She let go off your nipple, involuntarily, to solve her own “problem”. She lifted up your shared cover to see your bare legs. Ellie carefully lifted her own leg to strangled your nearest thigh. Just the pressure on her sensitive when she lowered herself onto you was enough to draw a moan. But she pulled her sleeping shorts to the side, exposing her wet pussy, before making sure to properly situate herself. Without losing a second she began to grind herself against your soft leg. The firmness she was looking for was found, and she had a hard time shutting up.

Even though she knew she couldn’t be so loud or she’ll wake you up her brain also didn’t want to focus on that. Just the pleasure. A few shaky breaths were leaking out as Ellie rested her head against your shoulder. Her juices soon covered more of your thigh than she thought. For a few seconds she felt embarrassed, paranoid you’d wake up to find her like this. Desperately humping your thigh like a dog. But that thought seem to have vanished from her head when she grabbed both your hips with her long slander fingers, holding on hard as she continued to grind her cunt hard and faster. “Fuuuuuck” Ellie pathetically whined “please, (y/n)………please fuck me”. Ellie grabbed one of your hands and brought it up to her mouth. She stuck out your index and middle finger before putting them in her mouth. Sucking and licking them like her life depended on it.

At one point Ellie couldn’t care enough to even try and keep quiet. She didn’t care if you woke up. In fact, she wanted you to wake up. Cause if you did maybe you’d help her. Letting out a deep groan your fingers fell out of her mouth, covered by her saliva. But Ellie quickly took a firm grip around said hand’s wrist and traced it down her body. When met with the hem of her long sleeved sleeping shirt she made sure to lead your hand underneath it and continued up until your fingertips are met with her hard nipple. Just the feeling of your skin on hers was incredible. Ellie let out another satisfied moan before she puts her hand on top of yours, helping you to palm her perky little tit beneath her shirt. Ellie buried her slightly sweaty forehead into the side of your neck. She tried to keep her eyes open, wanting to watch every single bounce your tits would do due to her intense pace, but the pleasure makes it hard not to let her eyelids drop completely.

Ellie’s eyes soon filled up with tears at the delicious feeling, but also the frustration of not getting enough. You knew her like the back of your hand. Every weakness, everything she liked and didn’t like, you knew it. She needs to wake you up. Ellie made sure to swallow all the spit that was threatening to spill out onto your neck before whining into your ear

“Please help me, baby? I can’t sleep”.

____________________________________________

Author’s Note: I thought this would be A LOT shorter when I started to write it. I do really like making more blur-ish stories, but I clearly can’t do them. Cause I start off writing just the main act, but then I’m like “but wouldn’t it be cool if I added what the reader’s grandmother was like? And what her favorite subject in school was!😃😃”. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this anyways. Even though it’s longer than anticipated (that’s what she said).

#ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams #the last of us #tlou ellie #tlou2 #ellie x reader #the last of us part two #tlou #ellie williams tlou #sub ellie williams #sub!ellie #ellie x reader smut #ellie the last of us

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