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enigmaticdiary · 2 months

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i am rewatching episode 1 for rewind the tape :) I've seen the pilot probably around 20 times at this point but I've only watched it by myself.... once! so for the first time since my first time watching it alone, im gonna do it again with a head full of knowledge of the iwtv book and the full season. and im turning off captions so it's less reading and more watching and close observing for me >:D

Below is a liveblog!

WARNING: I FUCKING LOVE TO TALK AND POINT OUT USELESS THINGS ON EVERY SINGLE THING I SEE. THIS POST IS GOING TO BE A MILE LONG. Also im still not great at putting my thoughts together.

hmm. I would read molloys book on kaposi sarcoma and hiv/aids. i love how well the fake book covers and this advert are put together because so many times I've been asked by friends who i showed the show to if it was an actual commercial LOL.

THE PIC ON THE BACK OF THE BOOK GOING FROM LUKE TO JUST AN ACTUAL PICTURE OF YOUNG ERIC BOGOSIAN? LMFAO. The casting is genuinely so perfect in this show. hehe i like how well the passage of time is depicted through the book covers too, not just in. the photos for daniel obviously but for the aesthetic styles of the covers. the cover they made for "the internets gavel" is sooo mid 2000s. I love the attention to detail for these things on screen for less than a second because it gives a fool like me something to look at and praise simply because the detail wasn't overlooked.

"hate and ashbury" man this is such a good title too. simply because im looking at it and sifting out details it's such a good way to get even more insight into molloy's character. while I don't need to get into a history lecture of haight-ashbury, it tells a lot because it was a historically hippie neighborhood in the 1960s and the birthplace of the counterculture movement, it says a lot for molloy especially seeing the previous three fictional books he wrote about, being hiv/aids crisis, the politics of climate change in the United states, the governments attempts at putting stricter regulation on the internet... I could get into how this connects with molloy's character more in relation to his desire for vampirism but i am barely over a minute in and I've been typing for 15 minutes now!!!

"Preparing For An Interview" NO WAY. GUYS!

No no no i will not pause every 10 seconds and try to connect the thematic dots of everything being presented to me. I need to save that for the video essay im writing!

louis' beautiful handwriting❤️

i dont know why daniels scrunched up face is so fucking funny to me.

Jesus okay watching this without captions is actually really difficult for me i see why i need them all at all times. If im not rewinding because i keep fucking pausing im rewinding because I didn't understand a fucking word i just heard. Despite seeing the episode 20 times.

Hmm.. What personally redemptive accomplishments could louis be referring to..?

UUGGGHHHHHHJJJJJJJJHHHHHHHHHHHHHFHHHH sorry Louis on screen and i started tearing up. Hello armand goodbye armand.

Yah.

Do you think louis goes on twitter sometimes.

Yah?

COVID MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COVID MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!

Louis has changed... The only big change he's mentioned between Interview 1 and now that I can recall off the top of my head is that he stopped killing in 2000. I wonder why? I wonder many things

Truth and reconciliation....

Armand being concerned with daniels editor seeing/hearing what was said. I am vaguely aware of the theory that armand has possibly been up to mindfuckery with both louis and Daniel and i can only wonder if this has been mentioned to buoy that theory. To control the narrative.? Hmm... but why?

I know Daniel was annoyed by louis calling him "boy" but i think it's kind of cute. Even with nearly 50 years passing by, the old human is still young to the vampire who has lived going on twice his lifetimes. I am not 10 minutes in and I have been typing for 40 minutes!

FUUUUUUCK sorry. louis

I have no commentary on louis introducing. LESTAT. sorry, not him. On louis introducing new orleans and his the place he inhabited in it. I think its pretty self explanatory and explicit, yeah?

BRICKS❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh my god the fucking "Oh—goddamn." upon seeing fenwicks diarrhea dick is Ao fucking funny. Louis acting like he would actually have a problem seein a dick or too. Probably would have a problem seeing fenwicks tho (unshitted on). I don't disagree there. Maybe the poop camo is for the best....

Yiu can't be saying that racist jake the dog

Id stick my finger in fenwicks wound and see how deep itd go.

Hi paul

The lord told me to cum. Sorry im 5 years old

Paul punching louis is genuinely so fucking. LESTAT AND HIS FUCKING GOOFY ASS HAT OH MY GOD!!. Sorry. Paul punching Louis was so fucking funny to me because I know that if they were not on that street and were at home or something they would be SLUGGING each other until grace has to pull them apart. Then hug it out :) Idk is this how siblings work im pretty much an only child

I keep having to google words help. HELP. NOT ME HAVING LOOKED UP "PULPIT" ALREADY AND APPARENTLY COMPLETELY FORGETTING WHAT IT MEANS.

Immediately another word I have to google. Im not gonna say I'm stupid for not knowing these words, i did not grow up with the church as closely as others...

i do think a lot about the pointe du lac household before their father died. like. A lot. Theres so much in that brief interaction mentioning him. The sugar cane, the hospital, the Diversion.

Ill never forget the first time i rewatched this ep After learning about the mayfair witches and seeing this scene and being like: GASP! OH MY GOD! ANNE RICE REFERENCE! IT'S ALL CONNECTED!

Paul is so fucking funny like the shade he's constantly throwing, please take a break LMFAO

hng. (louis)

Googling words again. Hmmm the internalized homophobia yes yes i see. Sorry need to google another fucking word. Oh. oh louis...... Ok I can see how my mom picked up on louis being gay so fast. I am a smart boy but my vocabulary is pathetically limited so "big" words going over my head made what should've been pretty obvious be absolutely indecipherable to me. Sorry for being stupid (im not)

I am 17 minutes in and I have been watching and typing for an hour!

Louis: everyone in here is white so its easy to pick out who's gonna call me a nigger to my face and whos gonna do it behind my back

Sir..... Mister....

Hes here

Microaggression 1

TWO.

THREE.

FOUR?

LESTAT CONTINUOUSLY HITTING ME OVER THE HEAD WITH BRICKS

His hair looks like shit

IM. GOING TO KILL HIM. Dont worry louis get behind me.

YOU GONNA FALL VICTIM TO THIS MAN WHOSE HAIR GOT CAUGHT UNDER THE IRON?

Oh my god Leswirl de lioncourt PLEASE PLEASE I CANT TAKE THIS. Actually started growling out loud and said "Shut rhr fuck up, oh mt God.!!!"

IVE EMPTIED A BANK VAULT SAMPLING. S. AJSHKSKSJZMSMS PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GKD. PLEASW. ISNSSMJAKSNSMSJAJZMSUAUBZNZ

Lestat put your ears away, please.

Me, watching this for the first time at the age of 20: Is this gay...? No... it can't be. They would put gay in a show...? For real? (in denial and scared of being queerbaited despite the most explicit homosexual overtext)

MISS CARROLL THEYRE HAVING A DICK MEASURING COMPETITION.!!!!!!!

Unfortunately lestat did kind of serve there but throwing his dick down on the table embarrassing louis like that in front of miss carroll and lily was evil and racist somehow And he should be sentenced to 40 good slams in thr head with a brick

If paul didn't punch louis none of this would be happening

Lestat: God i love to troll

Who the devil you say.? Well...

Oh lord louis' face card sorry didn't mean to moan like that. I saw a maj so beautiful I threw up evrrywhere

Hmm. The racism

FUUUUUUCK LOUIS IS SO CUTE I NEED TO KILL MYSELF!

Lestat needs to put his ears AWAY he looks so bad with his hair that short.

What IS this insane time freezing trick lestat is doing? God when im actually giving myself a chance to really absorb myself in the show that scene is actually pretty fucking scary LOL

I NEED TO DIE I HATE HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SHIOT ME IN THE FUCKING HEADA

Lord have mercy the sheer SEX in his eyes as he looks at louis' neck. I nedd to die

Paul..... I need to kill myself for emotional reasons not related to loustat

Egypt reference! Wow! Gabrielle allusion ! "The means to make my way to paris" Ok well what if i

I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD AT HOW HARD I LAUGH AT PAULS SCENES. steven norfleet does such an amazing job in this role.

SAVAGE GARDEN!!!!!!! GUYS!!!!! B

Hooray! The scene that changed me literally Forever. Whatever, man.

Ykung violinist

lily and lestat circling louis like two lions descending on a zebra.

I had a dream about this scene once. I will not br elaborating.

Dude.

GUYS. SEX IS SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!

Guys.

God thid is so fucking crazy

Unfortunately this part does make me giggle especially having to see these two men floating naked and seeing sams fat ass Im about to start crying again

I wish vampires were real

Insert joe biden yelling faggot I don't have it on hand and i don't want to pause for 20 minutes to find it

MY FAVORITE SCENE EVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PAUL AND LOUIS TAPDSNCING SO CUTE AARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The fact that thus scenr eas really all them, being jacob and steven, its so awesome.

WHEN THE BLACK JOY! And then thr Black suffering. Ok guys 21st time is a charm Im praying really hard I THINK I CAN STOP PAUL FROM JUMPING THIS TIME!

This is one of those scenes that really seperates black viewers from nonblack viewers because the way some of my nonblack friends have reacted to florence blaming louis has made me so insanely embarrassed.... I don't know how to explain it. But the shame from a black parent... especially the mother. I don't know. It breaks you in a different way than anything else. Theres a lot of nuance I want to say but I don't have the time or brainpower or expertise to word it properly so please just take my emotional response to this scene at face value.

sorry but lestat just openly asking during the funeral service where they got pauls coffin from is CRAZY.

Breaking finns arm was also crazy as fuck. Like would hs have done that if louis didn't get angry as fuck at him just then. Unfortunately knowing lestats character now seeing louis get mad like that probably made him hard as fuck and thr only way he can deal with it in the moment is to break that mans arm. Sorry I love how ar the beginning of this post i was like super into the nitty gritty and the details bjt then it just turned into me making fun of lestat and how hard he definitely was in like every single scene he was in

God. the pain.

Killing lily was in fact extremely racist and misogynistic of lestat. He should be stabbed many times for this

God.

Ok scene two that permanently changed me

Sorry to that poor stunt double that got knocked out then.

What rage you must feel as you choke on your sorrow. Unfortunately one of the hardest lines ever

No commentary. Hard to say things about this scene cause its just so good, man.

Oh my poor ashy grey blood deprived louis

Watching this scene with headphones on is crazy

GOD. GUYS. I LOVE SHOW. DID YOU GUYS KNOW I FUCKING LOVE SHOW???!!?? Pack it up guys This is one of the best pilots in tv history

To wrap up this post, it took me about 2 hours and 20 minutes to finish the first episode. I spent twice as long watching it BECAUSE I LOVE TO FUCKING YAP!

#iwtv show #vampterview #oh no i just realized that when i was re-editing this post to make more additions i overwrote one of my previous edits so its not there #anymore...#it was the scene of lestat at the dinner :(#Basically i said: This scene is so scary #and that sam is a really good actor. And both him and jacob have installed a passion for acting in me #And of course I was laughing at how funny paul was

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lucero-is-here · 10 months

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Headcanons time! Émile Bardot. Requested by myself.

Anyways here’s a photo of this boy:

1 - He really likes dogs. He thinks they are adorable. But he’s a bit scared of the bigger dogs.

2 - (angst) he’s fatherless. His dad left him when he was 6 years old.

3 - he’s scared of unexpected loud noises. He has some noise cancelling earphones and also ear plugs in his bag and pockets in case he needs them

4 - aside from dogs, he likes most animals. Bunnies are his second favourite animal. While most cats are no for him. He finds them kind of scary.

5 - he likes hugs sometimes. Not all the times…So if you wanna hug him, you should ask him first.

6 - he’s pansexual.

7 - he got flirted with before, and he became so flustered it was hilarious-

8 - his hands are really warm…But his hands are also kind of rough.

9 - He tends to bite his nails and pick at his skin sometimes, cause he gets too anxious.

10 - he has a bicycle. It’s this light blue bicycle he really really likes. He cycles to work sometimes, other times he walks.

11 - he can cook and also can’t cook. He can make easy things. Also he nearly burnt down a kitchen once.

12 - he likes listening to rock music sometimes.

13 - Enzo is always crashing Émile apartment- and things are bound to get broken sometimes- (I see Enzo and Émile as these really close friends-)

14 - Émile had a guitar. He really liked it. He bought it for himself too. And then Enzo accidentally broke it and Émile cried about it- Enzo ended up buying Émile a new guitar as apology.

15 - Émile gets pranked by Enzo sometimes. It’s always those small harmless pranks, and it always annoys Émile a lot.

16 - Émile has these really nice socks he always wears to sleep- he also has cat socks and they are adorable-

17 - he has some stuffed animals. They are usually these really small keychains…But he also has an otter plushie that he absolutely adores.

18 - he paints and draws sometimes. Usually landscapes- he doesn’t have the courage to try to draw people, since you normally have to ask people for that and he can’t- he’s too scared

19 - he likes going to the park.

20 - low-ass spice tolerance. He can’t eat anything spicy-

21 - he likes kids, but is also scared of kids- cause I gave him a baby cousin who always randomly smacks Émile (gently) pretty much everywhere. This happened so much Émile cried about it- (yeah totally not based of my actual experience with my baby cousin-).

22 - Émile likes the book “the little prince”. He watched the movie before and absolutely loves it-

23 - he has a close relationship with his mom. He really loves his mom and they call each other every weekend to check in on each other. They don’t live so far away from each other (20 minute walk to each other’s apartments), and visit one another every now and then.

24 - gets very little sleep- he pulls a lot of all nighters, but usually sleeps about 3 hours when he does sleep.

25 - gets cold easily- so he’s either always wearing his jumper or always has his jumper on hand.

26 - His hair is fluffy, and really nice to touch. When he had first met Enzo and Nadia, the both of them wouldn’t stop touching his hair after getting permission too. Émile didn’t mind that- and then Hugo also learnt of Émile having fluffy hair and joined in on this. So every now and then someone is gonna he touching Émile’s hair with Émile permission.

Might post a part 2 for these headcanons lol- anyways I might have made an OC to ship with Émile and I don’t know about it AHA- should I post about the OC?

#criminal case #headcanons #Émile Bardot

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vxvidlandmine · 1 year

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Spiraling on a Saturday

Hello again.

Today I woke up and spent 40 minutes looking at my phone. I have picked up this bad habit in September 2021 and I have yet found a way to just get rid of it. I'm just weak.

My mom greeted me as I got out of my room. Since it's saturday, her morning starts with cleaning the house. She gets up before me, so she always tries be silent and not make any noise. I tell her I don't care about sleeping late, because I really don't, yet she's persistent on not wanting to wake me up.

I had breakfast, went to the bathroom and then straight to study.

I revised what I re-studied yesterday then got some work done my laptop. I had to cross-check 3 different sources so that what I'm studying is actually correct, as well as coherent, as to not miss anything.

I had lunch with my family. Nothing wrong yet.

The friend I have been hanging out with in the past weeks was supposed to let me know if she would be able to go out today, yet at 14:00, when she usually does text me, my notifications were dry.

I still had some stuff to study so I decided not to get worked up over it and focus on my books. At 15:10 that was over and my mind was free to wonder why she forgot. Every reason I came up was more stupid than the previous one- she had to study and forgot, she had to study and purposely ignored me, she had nothing to do and finds me annoying- but they all had one thing in common. They could be "defeated" just by saying that if she actually wanted to go out, she could just speed up studying, or move around her schedule to make a 1 hour long walk fit.

After 10 minutes of going back and forth between coming up with these awful reasons and nervously opening and closing Instagram and Tumblr, I decide my mind was too clouded to get more studying done. Just like an animal going back to its cave, even after years and years of wondering around, I decided to "calm down" by playing a game I have been obsessed with in the past. I mean really obsessed, I got like 2300 hourse over the course of 2 years. I put calm down in quotes because it's competitive and you either play 40 hours a week or just suck and lose, and get mad over it. So that's what I did. I tried to find comfort in this game, instead I got absolutely smashed and quit after 2 hours.

At 18:00 my eyes were red and dry. I was cold. I hadn't drank or eaten in 5 hours. My elbows were hurting because that's what they do- my chronic pains are such a big deal that they deserve a whole post about them. Still no message. The same void I have described started growing me but I got up, got a glass of milk and a trail mix, and watched a stupid series on netflix. I ignored the shit out of it, then I regretted it later. I turned off my laptop, cleaned the glass then decided to air out my room. I stink.

The more I thought about how she ignored me- and still is as of now- the worst I was getting.

First come all the thoughts about me as a person. The fact I'm skinny and weak and pain all over my body. The fact I'm 20 and still look and sound like a 16yo. The fact I'm not enjoying the company of other people.

In the past I used to get out of these spirals by reminding me how well I was doing academically. Lmao. In just 3 years my mind completely deteriorated and if I'm still "running" it's just inertia. My impostor syndrome deserves a post of its own. Now, low self-esteem about my body is just a stepping stone to doubt my mind.

The third thoughts that come are about how lucky I am to food, clothes, a warm house, and a family, all things that not everyone has. I end up thinking I don't deserve everything I have. I don't deserve it because I'm not enough in any way possible. One could argue that just by existing one's enough to have their basic needs met. Other people do, I don't.

So here I am, still waiting for someone to care a bit about me.

Venting and not changing anything to make this better is completely useless and doesn't even alleviate what I'm experiencing.

I think I just need human warmth.

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tcs-duke-of-ed-blog · 8 months

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Rome Reveiw (Europe Travel Blog 1)

Welcome to a series of blogs I am writing about my travels around Europe that I recently partook in. This first post will be about the first destination I travelled to: Rome, Italy.

But first, let me discuss how I will be rating each place. For each location that I post about, I will rate four aspects of that place out of 5. Those four aspects are Food, Vibes, Views and Activities. Then after each of those ratings, I will add up that location’s scores and then present the sum as the final score out of 20. Now, let's rate Rome.

First, the food. I personally am a huge fan of Italian food. And Rome did not disappoint. As expected, every restaurant seemed to sell amazingly made and amazing-tasting pasta and pizza. And of course, Rome did not disappoint on the gelato front either. The streets of Rome contained more gelato stores and stand than I could count, and around 90% of them were super amazing. For Rome, I give a 5/5

Next are the activities. Rome has a good variety of activities that people of any age can enjoy. Most of the activities are more ancient or impressive buildings such as Saint Peters Cathedral and Basilica, the Spanish steps, the Roman Forum and of course the Colleseum. These buildings may seem boring to some, but I assure you that anyone can find something fun and interesting about these places. That's why I am rating Rome’s activities ⅘

Next are the views of Rome. Of course, you have the great big massive buildings like the Colosseum, which give Eomew a very mighty and majestic feeling whenever you are around. However, apart from some cool piazzas and some amazing statues, there is not much there for Rome. That's why I am giving Rome a ⅗ for views

Finally, for vibes, I have a bit to say. One thing Rome really has going for it is its labyrinth of charming side streets, that may contain gems that are shops that may contain cheap, good quality souvenirs or amazing food for less than you would get it at a conventional restaurant. However, one thing that annoyed me is that most of the side streets also doubled as roads, so every minute or so we would have to squeeze against the walls of the tiny side streets, and as my time in Rome continued that wore on my nerves a lot. Another thing that was a little annoying was the abundance of pickpockets on the streets, but also the subways of Rome. Many times when I would be in a crowd or on a crowded metro train someone would yell out in protest as someone would try to steal something from their pockets or their purse. That made me always keep my hands in my pockets and always kept me nervous. Because of this, I will rate Romes Vibe 3⁄5

All of these scores bring Rome's final score to 15/20. Thank you for reading and have a good day.

#blogger #blog post #blogging #first time blogger #travel #europe #rome

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lovemesomesurveys · 2 years

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1. What was the last thing you had the urge to do? I just wanna get out of this damn hospital, go home, and be able to eat actual food and drink actual drinks.

2. Is there anyone you feel that takes you for granted? No.

3. What is the last thing you had a craving for? Ugh, everything right now.

4. Do you ever read the comments on social media posts? Yeah.

5. What was the last thing you felt like you wasted money on? My online shopping got out of hand, but honestly it brought me some joy and I needed that, so I don’t see it as a waste. Same with my DoorDash deliveries.

6. What’s the last thing you had stuck in your head? I don’t remember.

7. What was the last “good” thing to happen to you? Uhhh.

8. Last awkward situation you were in? Who knows.

9. Think of the last time you were sick – what were you sick with? I haven’t had a cold or something of that sort in awhile, but I’ve had other health shit going on.

10. How do you think your life would change without social media? It would take away a lot of what I spend my time doing. It’s Tumblr and YouTube I’d have a hard time without cause I’m on both all the time. It would suck.

11. What was the last thing you wanted to buy, but couldn’t afford? I need a new laptop. I’m so grateful my brother let me use his, especially now as I’m stuck in the hospital. It’s been really nice having it.

12. What is a recipe you’d like to try to make for yourself? I’m not a cook/baker, but I have so many recipes saved on my Pinterest that I want my brother and mom to make for me, ha.

13. What goes through your mind when you look back at old photographs of yourself? Remembering the time it was taken and what was going on. Lots of nostalgia. Lots of cringe, too. Although, compared to my appearance now... I’ll take the old photos. No glow-up here, I went severely downhill.

14. What was the subject matter of the last email you sent? I tried asking my optometrist for my glasses prescription so I can just oder a new pair for now while I’m in the hospital, but they never responded. 15. Would you say your emotions are fairly stable and predictable throughout a week’s time, or not so much? I can always count on good ol’ mr. depression to be there for me.

16. Are you friends with your family members on any social media platforms? Yeah, a lot of my family. That’s mainly what I use Facebook for.

17. How do you get your news? Online, mostly. Some on TV.

18. How often do you drive? I don’t drive.

19. If you had to go (back) to school and completely change your career path, what would you choose to study/pursue? I have no idea. I’ve thought about that since I no longer want to pursue psychology. I don’t know what else I would have majored in, honestly.

20. Are there any TV shows you constantly quote or know almost every line to? Not really, but I could.

21. What do you think about lizards? Ew.

22. Is there anything that people assume about you that isn’t true, and that you find very irritating? I’m sure, I’m just blanking at the moment.

23. How would you rate your “detective” skills? I think I’m pretty good, ha.

24. Have you ever done consumer testing (testing products before they come out on the market)? If not, would you ever want to? I haven’t. I’d be open to it depending on what it is. Hey, free stuff.

25. How do you feel if you are late arriving to meet someone? How about if someone is late meeting you? I hate being late and feel bad if someone has to wait for me. I’m also impatient, so while I’m understanding, I still get annoyed when someone is late (unless it’s just a few minutes).

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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havin-a-wee · 3 years

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If Only She Knew

pairing: dad!harry x cheerleader!reader

word count: 4.2k

warnings: smut (fingering + unprotected sex), cheerleading position implies readers weight, 20 year age gap

hi! ive been having some really bad writers block but i wrote this and even though its def not my best work i like it enough to post it :) also, i totally didn't mean to imply the readers weight, i only realized afterwards, so im really sorry about that. also the age gap is kinda big, so if ur uncomfy with that you shouldn't read this <3

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY

“Geez watch where you’re going!”

You don’t even look up at the girl, recognizing her nasally voice easily from how annoying it is. You were nose deep in a book while walking down the school hallway, and of course your worst enemy had to be walking down the same hallway, at the same time, in the opposite direction. You are both at fault for the collision, considering Ella had her eyes locked on her instagram feed. But knowing the girl, there is no way in hell that she will take any responsibility, even though you are the one who has coffee dripping down the front of your white blouse.

Since middle school, Ella Styles has always hated you. You have never known why, but she seems to have a vendetta against you, and tries her best to make your life miserable. You never let her, always refraining from giving her the explosive reaction that she was looking for. And that makes her hate you even more.

High school is over in 2 months, and although you are going to miss the freedom of being a child, you most definitely won’t miss the people from the tiny town you’ve lived in since you were young. You’ve always been the type of person to have a small friend group, only 4 people in your circle. But that’s how you like it, because crippling social anxiety makes it difficult for you to meet new people.

“I- sorry.” You still don’t look at her, instead peeling the soaking wet top off of your stomach.

“You better be sorry.” She flips her blonde hair, ensuring that the fluffy locks hit you right in the face. You are lucky this time seeing as she didn’t take it further, because sometimes she would purposely embarrass you after small incidents such as this one.

Tears well at your waterline and you run into the nearest bathroom, pushing open the blue door and locking yourself in a stall.

After all these years of torment, Ella rarely was able to get to you. But sometimes, she does something that pushes you off the edge, leaving you with red, tear-stained cheeks. The final straw this time was her ruining your brand new shirt, the one you were anxiously waiting to debut at school.

But now there was coffee dripping down your chest and staining the bright white fabric. Your only saving grace is the cheerleading uniform in your backpack. In fact, you were walking to the locker room to change for practice, and then for the game at 6 tonight.

You had been excited for the game, knowing that Friday night games always led to parties and fun afterwards. You rarely go to parties of course, but the buzzing energy never fails to rub off on you. But now that stupid Ella had to go and mess up your day, you’re dreading seeing her smug face while she asserts her dominance as cheer captain.

You untie your top and rip it off in a haste, frustrated tears running down your face periodically. You could’ve put a jacket on and gone to the locker room, but Ella would be going there soon, and the last thing you want to do is run into her with teary eyes. She can’t know that you let her get to you.

You brush your hands down your uniform, pulling down the skimpy costume and stuffing your old clothes in your backpack. Once out of the stall, you pull your hair up into a high ponytail, reapply your lip gloss and walk back into the hallway, having already done your makeup that morning. You’re happy that it’s a home game today, because the home game uniforms are two pieces and the skirts are smaller than the ones on the away game uniforms. There is a certain someone you are looking to impress, and the way your tits spill out from the top of the outfit will most certainly help you in your mission.

It’s not like you need to impress him, because he’s shown time and time again that he finds you sexy no matter what you wear. And when he doesn’t tell you, he shows you, by pressing his hard on up against your ass after you just woke up, despite your messy hair and bare face.

However, he also loves when you tease him. And that’s exactly what you’re planning to do.

You sling your heavy backpack over one shoulder and trudge down the hallway, the old fluorescent lights practically blinding you on your journey. The locker room is dingy, smelling of cheap soap and Victoria’s Secret perfume. At least it doesn’t smell like the boys locker room, which smells like sweat and more sweat.

It's already bustling with people, your teammates scrambling to get ready in time as to not get yelled at by the coach.

“Y/N!” The familiar shout of your best friend Rose is like a breath of fresh air, and you bound over to her. She’s standing in front of your lockers, the two of you obviously picking ones next to each other. “Wait, why are you already changed?”

“The bitch spilled her coffee all over me,” you grumbled, your eyes shifting over to where Ella and her little goons are giggling.

“I keep telling you, anytime you want me to beat her up I will gladly do it.”

“Not that I doubt your abilities Rose, because I know you would have her on the ground in a heartbeat, but I can’t let you do that. She can’t know that she upsets me.” You lower your voice for the second sentence, irrationally fearing that she can hear you over the loud chatter echoing through the room.

“I still think you should let me beat her up, but you do you I guess.” Rose shrugged her shoulders and turned back to her locker, bursting out into laughter with you after a beat of silence.

The rest of the getting ready process goes smoothly, Rose distracting you from the girl side-eyeing you in the corner. Soon enough, the whole squad was in formation outside, and you have your hands on the shoulders of Rose and another girl named Bethany. You are a flyer, meaning that you’re the one who the bases support while you pose and flip in the air. Its a hard job, but you are one of only three girls on the team who is advanced enough at flying to be safe doing it in routines. One of the other three girls is Ella.

Ella is the flyer for the middle group, seeing as she is the captain. You are on the right and the other group is on the left. Luckily, Rose is a base in your group, so you feel a lot better putting your safety in the hands of someone you already trust with your life.

“ELLA! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” Coach Habbiths voice is piercing, her angry shrieks bouncing off your ear drums. Ella audibly huffs, displaying her frustration with the critiques she has been receiving since we learned the routine weeks ago. That’s one of the biggest problems with Ella, she believes that she's always right.

Every single practice she has done a needle instead of a scale at the end of the routine. It's aggravating for everyone, and that frustration is amplified everytime she makes the same mistake over and over. “Alright, everyone down. group 1 and group 3 take five, Ella and group 2 stay on the field.

The team obliged to her instructions, and you are brought down from the air.

“Okay Ella, I want you to watch how Y/N does the last move, because she’s actually doing it correctly.” Coach is standing in front of you now, and she emphasized the word ‘correctly’. This is much to Ella’s dismay, and much to your excitement.

Nothing brings you more joy than seeing Ella’s face when you one up her, and this time is no exception.

Aside from a few eye rolls and nasty looks, Ella corrects the move without much fuss. By now there's 15 minutes until the game, and the players have been warming up on the field for about half an hour.

“Did you see her face!” Rose tugs on your arm while you walk back to the locker room, water bottles in hand.

“I know! I should’ve taken a picture!”

“We can only hope that it knocked her ego down a peg.”

“I doubt it” Rose nodded in agreement and you continued your chatter, talking about the random things that best friends talk about.

“It’s go time ladies!” You jumped in surprise when Coach Habbiths yelling booms through the locker room, the hefty amount of metal in the room enhancing the echo.

In a blur, your entire team rushed out onto the field, the crisp air cooling your warmed skin. There was a huge crowd. probably the biggest the teams ever had. But that makes sense, because this game was against your school's biggest rival. Luckily, despite the huge crowd you were able to lock eyes with those piercing green irises you have gotten to know so well over the past couple months. Everytime you see him he gets more and more attractive, and this time is no exception.

At this point, the teams routine is muscle memory and you’re done with it before you can blink. Most people would think that being thrown in the air is memorable, but your main concern is the growing wet patch on your panties that spreads each time you squeeze your thighs together. Just the thought of the man is enough to turn you on, and now that you’re sitting on the cold metal bench your imagination has time to go wild.

The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the eruption of appaulause from the audience, and the realization that the other cheerleaders were standing up and running towards the players. You breath out a sigh of relief, recognizing the cheering as a signal that the game has ended.

“Hey, you coming?” Rose tugs on your arm, looking down at you still on the bench.

“Um, actually I don’t feel so well, I think I’m going to go home.”

“I should’ve known. You know, one day you’re going to have to go to a party.” Rose places her hands on her hips, giving you a sarcastically annoyed stare.

“And today is not that day.” You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder, turning back to Rose for a second. “Have fun and be safe.”

“I always do.” Rose places a chaste kiss on your cheek before turning back to the gathering crowd on the turf.

Instead of heading to the sidewalk and walking home, you duck under the bleachers and walk down the gravel path, pushing open the fence that separates the field and the school. The contents of your backpack slosh around while you sway your hips as you walk. Finally, you make it to the back wall of the school, leaning your back against it and plopping your heavy backpack down by your feet.

And now you wait.

Much to your convenience, the wait this time isn’t long, only five minutes passing before you see the familiar man following the same path you did earlier.

He has a pair of brown slacks on, pressing against his waist courtesy of his black belt. A button up white shirt hides the tattoos on his stomach, but he's rolling up his sleeves as he walks over to you. He's walking with intention, hungry eyes zeroed in on you.

When he’s only steps away, you cheekily bite your lip and use your finger to push up your skirt a little bit more.

Your actions have the intended effect, his eyes blowing wide and hands grasping at your waist.

“Y’can’t do that.”

Before you have a chance to ask what he means, his lips collide with yours, his tongue slipping in only moments after the initial kiss. But as soon as he started, he pulls away.

“Y’can’t be teasing me on the field like tha’, had me hard next t’my friends.” His hand is on the wall above your head, and his other arm is wrapped around your waist pulling you into his chest. He’s panting, and you are too.

“Sorry Mr. Styles,” you push your bottom lip out in a pout, giving him the most innocent look possible. “Just wanted to wear it cause I know how much you like it.”

“Aw, my babygirl wore this f’me? Well I guess y’can be forgiven. Now let’s get t’my house before I fuck yeh right on this wall.” He places a soft kiss to your lips picking up your backpack from the floor and turning to the direction of his car.

“But it hurts!” He turns around again, giving you a sympathetic look and caressing your cheek. The rings on his fingers are cold, but you’re used to the feeling.

“I know sweet girl, but I can’t take care of yeh here, s’too risky.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of a solution to your not so little problem. “How bout I give y’my fingers in the car? Hows that sound hm?” You nod eagerly, pulling his hand down from your cheek and holding it. He takes the signal and begins walking to his car while you follow him.

You never planned to sleep with your bullies dad. But a few months ago your parents dragged you to a family friends housewarming party, and that friend happened to be a friend of Harry’s too. There were no other teenagers there, so your focus was on the attractive older man who had been checking you out since you first locked eyes, and after ending up in the upstairs bathroom together the two of you have been fucking at least twice a week. You only learned that he’s a dad when you saw him for the first time outside the party. He didn’t look the part, and you actually thought he was in his 20s until he corrected you. He’s 38, having become a parent at only 20 years old. Your relationship is a bit taboo, but you’re a mature 18 year old and you and Harry get along well. So well that your time together has developed from casual sex to a mutually exclusive relationship. (Neither of you like labels, but you’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend).

He makes you really happy, and when you have to face off against Ella, it helps knowing that you have power over her, even though she doesn’t know it.

“Did she do anything today?” Harry is walking beside you, hands still intertwined.

“Besides spilling coffee on my shirt, nothing much.” Harry sighs in frustration and squeezes your hand as a show of affection.

“M’so sorry, I wish y’didn’t ‘ave to deal with her.”

The thing about Harry and Ella is they can barely be considered family. Ella’s mom is, for lack of a better word, a bitch. She’s snobby, conceited, and rude, and those behaviors have rubbed off on Ella. Another thing that rubbed off on her was her mom’s hatred for Harry. Being young parents put strain on their already struggling relationship, and they split before Ella’s first birthday. Harry said he tried his best to make it work for Ella’s sake, but her mom was looking for someone to pay for her life, and Harry had just started working his way up as a businessman.

Now, he’s a CEO, but luckily Ella’s mom already found a new beau with plenty of money, so she didn’t come crawling back to him. However, the success Harry achieved only a few years after their breakup made her jealous, and so she instilled that anger in their daughter. So currently Ella spends most of her time with her mother, and when she is with Harry she doesn’t treat him kindly.

“It’s not your fault Harry, you don’t have to apologize for her actions.”

“I know, I jus’ hate tha’ she treats yeh like that.” He sighs again, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys. In a few more steps you’re standing outside the sleek black suv, walking around to the passenger seat and sliding in once you hear the click of the door unlocking.

You both take a few seconds to breathe, an unspoken gesture to prepare for the night's events. Harry turns to you, a sexy smirk plastered on his face. “What d’ya think about fixin’ that ache darlin?” You nod eagerly, sliding down a bit in your seat to give your legs room to spread. “Think yeh can take off y’skirt fo’me?” Your head bobs once again as you nod, hooking your fingers under the elastic waistband and shimmying out of the skirt. While you’re doing that, Harry turns the car into the deserted street, using only one hand to steer.

You toss the tiny skirt into his lap, giving him a signal without distracting his eyes from the road. He reacts immediately, his free hand coming down to squeeze your thigh. You mewl at the contact and bite down on your lip, trying to stop your hips from bucking up in search of relief. His squeezes move up your thigh, and finally his fingers press against your weeping cunt. Swiftly, he pushes your soiled panties to the side, swiping his fingers up your folds collecting your juices. You shriek and buck your hips up into his hand, but much to your dismay he removes it from between your thighs. The car comes to a stop at a red light, and Harry takes the moment to look at you, his eyes wandering your squirming body. He’s practically drooling when he places his fingers in his mouth, tasting your sweet wetness.

“Sorry pup, jus’ needed t’taste yeh.” He chuckles again, and you whine softly in desperation. In one quick motion, he dives his hand back to your pussy, pressing his thumb on your swollen clit.

“Fuck!” The pleasure shoots up your spine, goosebumps raising across your body as he rubs circles on the puffy button. “Harry- please,”

“What d’ya want puppy? Want m’fingers?”

“Yes, yes,” you breathe out, words barely comprehensible through your panting.

“Alright, alright, I gotcha.” And with that his two fingers press into you, filling your tight hole perfectly. There is no hesitation before he begins pumping the digits in and out of you and his thumb never lets up on your bundle of nerves. “Such a needy puppy, got yeh soaking f’me from out in the stands hm?” His eyes are still on the road, but you can picture the lust filled eyes that are undoubtedly on his face.

“Get so wet jus- just thinkin’ about you,” you gasp, writhing as his fingers slam in and out of you.

“Yeah? This is my cunt, m’the only one who can make yeh this wet, isn’t tha’ right?”

“Only Harry.” At your confirmation he speeds his hand up, your vision clouding with white spots as the knot building in your stomach grows tighter and tighter.

All of a sudden, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty. “Wha-” You begin to question him but you realize that he’s pulling into his driveway. Instead of complaining, you sit up quickly and unbuckle your seatbelt, pulling your skirt back up your legs to avoid being nude on his front lawn.

As soon as you feel the little jolt your hand yanks on the handle and you hop out of the car. Your brain is fuzzy with need and all you are focused on is alleviating the aching between your thighs. You hear Harry lock the car while you're on the steps, and you turn back to ensure that he’s behind you. And sure enough, he’s hot on your trail, just as eager as you to get inside and onto his bed. Your foot is tapping on the ground anxiously, waiting for Harry to unlock the front door. After what seems like an hour, he is next to you again, fumbling with the silver keychain in his hand, eventually unlocking and pushing open the door. You both practically run inside, hands roaming each other's bodies and lips locking as you shuffle through the hall.

You disconnect breathlessly when you reach the stairs, subconsciously wrapping your hands around Harry’s neck so he can pick you up bridal style. He does so hastily, barely a second passing before he’s plopping you onto the fluffy mattress. “Finally,” he pants, hands fumbling with his belt buckle. There’s a prominent bulge in his trousers, and although you’ve seen it plenty, you are always in awe at how thick and big he is. While he’s busy removing his clothes, you are practically drooling at the sight of his bare cock, full, heavy, and dripping precome.

“Harry?”

He looks back down at you with his emerald green eyes, simultaneously dropping his recently-removed shirt on the floor. “Can I ride you?” The look he gives you is indescribable, a mixture of need, lust, cockiness, and beauty all rolled up into one.

“Whatever y’want puppy,” His hands scoop under your ass, and he lifts you up and switches your positions. Now it’s your turn to undress, and Harry makes himself busy by running his hands up and down your torso. “So gorgeous, y’know that?” You nod quickly then pull your shirt off of your head. “Most beautiful girl in the world I reckon.” You blush at the compliment, butterflies being added to the many sensations occuring in your body. You straddle his thighs, wrapping your hand around his length and tugging a few times. A loud groan rumbles through his throat, and you smile knowing you’re the one who made him feel like that. “Thought- thought yeh said y’wanted to ride me pup.”

“I do.” You keep your hand on his cock, sitting up on your knees and lining him up with your weeping cunt. All at once, your body is put at ease as his cock fills you up perfectly. He bottoms out inside of you, both of you moaning and groaning while you adjust. “So big-” Your words come out in choppy pants, the syllables being cut off by your heaves. You suck in one deep breath and move upwards, sinking back down onto him quickly. His large hands hold a tight grip on your waist, guiding you up and down his member. His lips attach to your neck, suckling on the supple skin just enough so that it doesn’t bruise.

“What a dirty little puppy you are,” he growls, eyes focusing heavily on where your bodies connect, watching himself disappear inside of you as you bounce up and down on his cock.

“Feel so full-” Tingles ricochet down every part of your body, and your legs are becoming weaker with each movement. Harry can feel your movement faltering, so his hips thrust upwards to meet yours, fucking you from underneath. “Harry!”

“I know pup, I know.” His thumb strokes your cheek and he leans in for another kiss, devouring your plump lips and swirling his tongue around yours. “So fuckin tight,” The words tumble from his mouth in a low growl, which sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. His cock twitches inside of you, encouraging you to muster all your energy and finish both of you off. Adrenaline kicks in and your strength returns, riding him faster and harder than before. “Let go f’me Y/N.” It only takes a few more thrusts for you to come undone, Harry’s orgasm following suit. The waves of pleasure roll through your body, and you throw your head back in ecstasy as you allow the feeling to overcome your body. Spurts of his hot cum cover your velvety walls and you ride out your orgasms together, resting your foreheads against one another.

You end up sleeping at his house, feeling safe knowing that Ella is staying with her mom today. It’s normal for you to sleep at his place, seeing as both of you are usually so tired that you pass out before you can leave. What isn’t normal is for you to be woken up in the morning by Harry’s phone ringing. Harry is a deep sleeper, and you laugh at the sight of him conked out while his ringtone blares on the nightstand just a few inches away. Carefully, you reach over his sleeping body and grab the phone, planning on hanging it up and going back to bed. However, when you saw that it was Ella calling, you changed your mind. Making a split second decision, you slide the icon to the right, holding it up to your ear.

“Hello?” Her whiney voice rings through your eardrum and you wince. Not the nicest thing to be woken up to.

“Hello,” you answer, your voice not reflecting the cocky grin that spread across your face.

“Who the hell is this!” she shrieks, and you make a mental note that she must not be a morning person.

“A friend of your dads.” Your response is once again calm and monotone, trying to stifle the laugh that is bubbling in your throat.

“Ugh! What’s your name?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N”

#harry styles smut #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles story #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles blog #harry styles headcannon #harry styles au #dad!harry #one direction smut #one direction fanfiction

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qqueenofhades · 3 years

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20+ Books That You (Might Actually Want) To Read During Pride Month!

Right, so. I got annoyed after seeing the list referenced in this post last night, told myself that my books are all packed up so I couldn’t do anything about it, and lasted all of a whopping 10 minutes before picking up my phone and attempting to make my own list instead. Behold, my from-memory attempt to present 20 books with strong LGBTQ plots, characters, and/or authors, that DON’T just rely on Suffering and Identity Politics and are... you know... fun.

Listed in alphabetical order by title. Links take you to Bookshop.org, where you can buy them from your local independent bookstore at a discount and NOT from the evil empire.

1. A Master of Djinn – P. Djeli Clark * author of color * steampunk Cairo in 1912 * djinn! magic! murder mystery! * butch Arab lesbian main character * devout hijabi Muslim badass assistant * anticolonial alternate history

2. An Accident of Stars – Foz Meadows (Sequel: A Tyranny of Queens) * trans author * bi, pan, trans, aro representation * racially diverse characters * all female POV characters * high-fantasy world adventures

3. Boyfriend Material – Alexis Hall * queer author * look I love this book SO MUCH and have absolutely screamed about it before but also I LOVE IT SO MUCH * contemporary M/M fake dating in modern London, complete with full cast of disaster found-family queer friends * it is. fucking. HILARIOUS. I almost died the first time reading it * there is a sequel called HUSBAND MATERIAL scheduled to be released in 2022; I am a normal amount of excited for this book

4. Gideon the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir (Sequel: Harrow the Ninth) * the book cover says “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted palace in space!” * that is exactly what you get * slow-burn enemies-to-lovers F/F main romance * I cannot describe this book, it is dark, genre-bendy, science fiction-y, Hunger-Games-with-lesbian-necromancers-in space? Kinda? I have literally never read anything like it * also fucking HILARIOUS

5. One Last Stop – Casey McQuiston * queer author (who wrote Red White and Royal Blue) * bisexual fat girl from the South/lesbian-daughter-of-Chinese immigrants from the 1970s-riot-grrl main romance * time traveling mystery involving the Q train in Brooklyn (mentions Brighton Beach ahem) * magical realism * many more found-family chaotic queers including a trans Latino psychic and a Black accountant by day/drag queen by night and the mean little gay disaster who has a hopeless crush on them

6. Parasol Protectorate (series) – Gail Carriger * this is one of my favorite series, and there are five books: Soulless, Changeless, Blameless, Heartless, and Timeless * steampunk vampires/werewolves late Victorian London, like Jane Austen crossed with P.G. Wodehouse (they are all fucking hilarious) * pretty much everyone is queer; we got your flamboyantly camp gay vampires (Lord Akeldama ftw!) We got your gay werewolves! We got your lesbian French inventors! We got your big disaster idiot werewolf main male love interest! We got your crazy adventures! You name it we got it! * two spin-off novellas: Romancing the Werewolf (M/M) and Romancing the Inventor (F/F) * she has a ton more books in this same universe and writes sexy queer supernatural romance as G.L. Carriger

7. Plain Bad Heroines – Emily M. Danforth * queer author * historical horror-comedy set between a haunted girls’ school in early-1900s New England and in the modern day * all sapphic female main characters * plays with style/form/voice, a story within a story within a story

8. Red White and Royal Blue – Casey McQuiston * you’ve probably heard of it but here I am reccing it again * the biracial son of the first female POTUS falls in love with the Prince of England; shenanigans absolutely ensue * yes, the British monarchy still absolutely sucks a big fat dick * hilarious, heartfelt, reads like fanfic, just go get it, it will change your life

9. Rosaline Palmer Takes The Cake – Alexis Hall * same author as Boyfriend Material, this is his newest * bisexual female protagonist * absolutely perfect satire of The Great British Bake Off (you can tell this man has watched EVERY SINGLE SERIES and all of the holiday specials) * sweet and surprisingly thoughtful

10. Starless – Jacqueline Carey * genderqueer/transmasculine main character of color * almost all main characters are brown people! * lush Middle Eastern/India-inspired fantasy world * gods, prophecies, monsters * the best Oh God Why Me I Am A Horrible Mentor wise-old-mentor

11. The Future of Another Timeline – Annalee Newitz * nonbinary (they/them) author * time travel but make it The Handmaid’s Tale * will probably make your head explode * feminist, queer, subversive * diverse characters

12. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue – Mackenzi Lee * queer author * technically YA but historical/magical adventure set in the 1700s * bisexual disaster main protagonist and love interest of color * (mis)adventures across Europe * has a sequel (see below) with the badass asexual sister of the protagonist

13. The Hate Project – Kris Ripper * nonbinary/genderqueer author * M/M enemies to lovers/sex with no strings attached (spoiler alert: strings attached) * HECKING HILARIOUS * sweet, escapist, and very low stakes * diverse characters, including fat protagonist with realistic anxiety disorder

14. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy – Mackenzi Lee * PIRATES, obviously * sequel to Gentleman’s Guide * asexual female protagonist * strong queerplatonic f/f friendship * more historical/magical 18th century adventures

15. The Last Rune (series) – Mark Anthony * Imma be real with you chief, I haven’t read this series since I was a clueless teenager with no idea why I liked Gay Stuff so much, so if it does turn out to suck now, don’t throw rotten veggies at me * but especially since it was written in the NINETIES, this series was hella progressive?! * gay characters, disabled characters, characters of color, all playing significant and heroic roles in six-book epic fantasy cycle * people from Earth end up in high-fantasy world of Eldh * endgame M/M romance for the main character * books out of print, I think, but you can find them cheap somewhere like AbeBooks; first one (Beyond the Pale) linked above

16. The Library of the Unwritten – A.J. Hackwith * queer author * heaven-hell-Valhalla supernatural adventures * The Good Place x Good Omens x Lucifer x The Librarians * Pansexual Black badass female heroine * Queer found families * The Sassiest TM Bisexual Villain Turned Reluctant Hero (is he my favorite? Why on earth would you think that.)

17. The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon * epic doorstopper science fiction/historical fantasy set in a vaguely 16th-century world * main F/F romance between a queen and her sorceress bodyguard * sassy old gay alchemist whose backstory will give you Feelings * so many strong women and characters of color * no homophobia! marriage is fully gender-neutral, spouses are called “companions”

18. The Song of Achilles – Madeline Miller * likewise one you have probably heard of but still * a little light on the myth/historical part imho, but the writing is beautiful and will give you many feelings * M/M romance between Achilles and Patroclus * reimagining of The Iliad (her other book Circe is also really good)

19 The Stars are Legion – Kameron Hurley * all-female apocalyptic space opera * messy messy antiheroines * grimdark war fantasy * queer sci-fi drama

20. Witchmark – C.L. Polk * author of color * M/M romance * main character is a veteran and a doctor dealing with his own hidden magic and repressed war trauma * gaslamp fantasy set in a world reminiscent of post-WWI England * strong sibling relationship

#book recs #book recommendations #bookblr #happy pride #pride month #lgbtqia #long post

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perpetual-stories · 3 years

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How To Fight Writers Block

hello, hello. hope everyone is doing well. as you can all tell, this post will be about how to fight writers block.

it’s really annoying to me when I hear people say “oh you don’t have writers block, you’re just lazy.”

first of all, yes, I am naturally lazy. second of all, how dare you. writing isn’t as easy as many think. granted, all you have to do is write down words on paper, but it’s not always easy to find the right words to express what you are feeling, or what you wish to say.

I have had terrible writer’s block for the last few days and it’s horrible! as a business owner or a small writing store, I have to be ready to write and fulfill my clients’ ideas and orders.

it’s not easy. It takes a heavy toll on my imagination, and digs me a deep pit of blockage, drowning in the lack of originality because of the constant writing and repetition or certain phrases and sentences in different projects.

i am making this post in the hopes to remind myself about over coming the dreaded and sometimes skeptically believed writer’s block.

What is writer’s block?

Yeah, I know. We all know what that is, but let me define it.

is the state of being unable to proceed with writing, and/or the inability to start writing something new

some people believe it to be a real problem, others believe it's “all in your head”

What Causes Writer’s Block?

in the 1970s, clinical psychologists Jerome Singer and Michael Barrios decided to find out

they concluded that there are four broad causes of writer's block:

Excessively harsh self-criticism

Fear of comparison to other writers

Lack of external motivation, like attention and praise

Lack of internal motivation, like the desire to tell one's story

How to overcome writer's block: 20 tips

1. Develop a writing routine:

Author and artist Twyla Tharp once wrote: “Creativity is a habit, and the best creativity is a result of good work habits.”

it might seem counterintuitive

if you only write when you “feel creative,” you're bound to get stuck in a tar pit of writer's block

The only way to push through is by disciplining yourself to write on a regular schedule. It might be every day, every other day, or just on weekends — but whatever it is, stick to it!

2. Use "imperfect" words:

A writer can spend hours looking for the perfect word or phrase to illustrate a concept

You can avoid this fruitless endeavor by putting, “In other words…” and simply writing what you’re thinking, whether it’s eloquent or not

You can then come back and refine it later by doing a CTRL+F search for “in other words.”

3. Do non-writing activities:

one of the best ways to climb out of a writing funk is to take yourself out of your own work and into someone else’s

Go to an exhibition, to the cinema, to a play, a gig, eat a delicious meal

immerse yourself in great STUFF and get your synapses crackling in a different way

Snippets of conversations, sounds, colors, sensations will creep into the space that once felt empty

4. Freewrite through it:

free-writing involves writing for a pre-set amount of time without pause — and without regard for grammar, spelling, or topic. You just write.

The goal of freewriting is to write without second-guessing yourself — free from doubt, apathy, or self-consciousness, all of which contribute to writer's block. Here’s how:

Find the right surroundings. Go somewhere you won't be disturbed.

Pick your writing utensils. Will you type at your computer, or write with pen and paper? (Tip: if you're prone to hitting the backspace button, you should freewrite the old-fashioned way!)

Settle on a time-limit. Your first time around, set your timer for just 10 minutes to get the feel for it. You can gradually increase this interval as you grow more comfortable with freewriting.

5. Relax on your first draft:

Many writers suffer form perfectionism, which is especially debilitating during a first draft

“Blocks often occur because writers put a lot of pressure on themselves to sound ‘right’ the first time. A good way to loosen up and have fun again in a draft is to give yourself permission to write imperfectly.” — editor Lauren Hughes

perfect is the enemy of good,” so don't agonize about getting it exactly right! You can always go back and edit, maybe even get a second pair of eyes on the manuscript

6. Don’t start at the beginning:

the most intimidating part of writing is the start, when you have a whole empty book to fill with coherent words

instead of starting with the chronological beginning of whatever it is you’re trying to write, dive into middle, or wherever you feel confident

7. Take a shower:

Have you ever noticed that the best ideas tend to arrive while in the shower, or while doing other “mindless” tasks?

research shows that when you’re doing something monotonous (such as showering, walking, or cleaning), your brain goes on autopilot, leaving your unconscious free to wander without logic-driven restrictions

showering is my favourite thing to do if I may add

8. Balance your inner critic:

successful writers have in common is the ability to hear their inner critic, respectfully acknowledge its points, and move forward

You don't need to completely ignore that critical voice, nor should you cower before it

you must establish a respectful, balanced relationship, so you can address what's necessary and skip over what's insecure and irrelevant

9. Switch up your tool:

a change of scenery can really help with writer's block. However, that scenery doesn't have to be your physical location — changing up your writing tool can be just as big a help!

if you’ve been typing on your word processor of choice, try switching to pen and paper. Or if you're just sick of Google Docs, consider using specialized novel writing software.

10. Change your POV:

great advice from editor Lauren Hughes: “When blocked, try to see your story from another perspective ‘in the room’ to help yourself move beyond the block. How might a minor character narrate the scene if they were witnessing it? A ‘fly on the wall’ or another inanimate object?

11. Exercise your creative muscles:

Any skill requires practice if you want to improve, and writing is no different! So if you’re feeling stuck, perhaps it’s time for a strengthening scribble-session to bolster your abilities

12. Map out your story:

If your story has stopped chugging along, help it pick up steam by taking a more structured approach — specifically, by writing an outline

13. Write something else:

Though it's important to try and push through writer's block with what you're actually working on, sometimes it's simply impossible

feel free to push your current piece to the side for now and write something new

14. Work on your characters:

It follows that if your characters are not clearly defined, you’re more likely to run into writer’s block

15. Stop writing for readers:

write for yourself, not your potential readers

this will help you reclaim the joy of being creative and get you back in touch with what matters: the story.

this is something I really need to do. because of my etsy business i don't write for fun anymore, but instead as a business and a deadline. i'm going to have to pull out my old crappy wattled fanfics or write some new ones.

16. Try a more visual process:

when words fail you, forget them and get visual. Create mind maps, drawings, Lego structures — ideally related to your story, but whatever unblocks your mind!

17. Look for the root of it:

writer’s block often comes from a problem deeper than simple “lack of inspiration.” So let's dig deep: why are you really blocked? Ask yourself the following questions:

Do I feel pressure to succeed and/or competition with other writers?

Have I lost sight of what my story is about, or interest in where it's going?

Do I lack confidence in my own abilities, even if I've written plenty before?

Have I not written for so long that I feel intimidated by the mere act?

Am I simply feeling tired and run-down?

once you identify what's wrong, it'll be so much easier to fix.

18. Quit the Internet:

If willpower isn’t your strong suit and your biggest challenge is staying focused, try a site blocker like Freedom or an app like Cold Turkey

19. Let the words find you:

meditate, go for a walk, take that shower

Word Palette is a great app that features a keyboard of random words, allowing you to simply click your way to your next masterpiece.

You can also try AI auto-completers like Talk to Transformer, where you can enter a phrase and let the app “guess what comes next.”

even though they often produce nonsense, it's a great way to help that writer's block.

20. Write like Hemingway:

And if your biggest block is your own self-doubt about your prose, Hemingway offers suggestions to improve your writing as you go

it's a pretty cool app if you ask me.

it highlights your sentences (if need be) and makes suggestions on how to improve them!

well, there you have it! a lengthy post on how to fight writer's block. now i just hope i can combat my own soon.

like, comment and reblog if you find this useful! feel free to reblog in instagram and tag me perpetualstories

Follow me on instagram and tumblr for more writing and grammar tips and more!

#writing #writing advice #writing tips #original writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writersconnection #writersofig #writersofinstagram #writings

376 notes · View notes

charlotte-headcanons · 3 years

Note

I wonder if some of siblings with twins, triplets, and others get along well. We know the monster triplet seems close to each other, decuplets get along well, just some silly siblings fights, sometimes, Smoothie with Citron and Cinnamon, they just argue when she used her devil fruit power on their subordinates to take the energy to her attacks, Chiffon still loves Lola even after leaving the family. But I wonder how is Cracker with Custard and Angel, Brulee with Broye, and Opera in his group of quintuplets.

Thank you for this ask, anon, that one was super fun to figure out! 💕 We decided to go through all the twin/triplet/etc. groups in the Charlotte family and describe their relations quickly. Naturally, then ❗long post ahead❗

Enjoy! ✨

Group 1: Katakuri/Daifuku/Oven

This three get along great and are indeed, very close to each other. Despite their personality differences, they spent a lot of time together already in childhood and even now they make sure that they find moments to cherish in each other's presence often. Katakuri feels more comfortable around these two than around most, especially since they both know his secret and never judged him for his mouth. Oven and Daifuku find him amazing, sure, but they also still treat him as their brother, not an unattainable ideal, and that allows Katakuri to somewhat relax.

Group 2: Mondee/Amande/Hachee/Effilee

Although Mondee is unstoppable in her efforts to bring these four closer together, being a bit jealous of some other twin/triplet/quadruplet sets, Amande, Hachee, and Effilee are all individualists and quite distinct personalities. Therefore, they might have a bit of a soft spot for each other, but these quadruplets only properly hang out once every three months or so; always from Mondee's initiative.

Group 3: Opera/Counter/Cadenza/Cabaletta/Gala

This group definitely likes to hang out together! They aren't super close and they don't know a lot about each other's personal problems or private life, but they do enjoy regular activities that they can do together: like brawl fights or going out for a few drinks. However, Opera is always a bit out of place in the group. Since he doesn't so much enjoy the same things the others like, they sometimes don't even bother inviting him, and they might be kind of jealous that out of all of them, he was the one who received a Devil Fruit. Gala always brings attention to it, trying not to exclude Opera, but sometimes, unfortunately, he still gets left out.

Group 4: Cracker/Custard/Angel

In their childhood, Custard and Angel got along well, but Cracker was always annoyed by the two and their constant attempts to play with his hair, put flower crowns on him, and more of that girly shit he loathed. Now, Angel changed quite a bit, toughened up, and became known as a kind of feral gal, who loves her triplets, but might sometimes scare/disgust while trying to make them tougher. In effect, Custard and Cracker grew ever so slightly closer. It helps that the girls stopped trying to girlify him, too.

Group 5: Brulee/Broye

Personality-wise, these two are polar opposites. Generally, Broye pities Brulee for not having found a husband yet, as well as for how her lifestyle usually looks like: rather than cooking and gardening she prefers partying and flirting, rather than living in an unpretentious hut, she prefers glamour. Brulee, on the other hand, is always nice to Broye and likes her, however, their relationship grew a bit awkward ever since Broye caught her staring at a wedding dress and bought her one, claiming that 'she's never going to get married anyway, so she may as well just wear it now'. Brulee knows that her twin meant well and thus wears the dress to this day (was it just us or did Brulee's first dress really look like a wedding dress); still she can't help but feel slightly hurt.

Group 6: Nusstorte/Basskarte/Dosmarche

These three see each other mostly as rivals, plain and simple. Basskarte is especially salty that the other two received Minister positions while he didn't, but even between Nusstorte and Dosmarche you can expect only constant attempts to one the other up rather than any sibling closeness.

Group 7: Moscato/Mash/Cornstarch

Moscato and Cornstarch adore each other! They're both idealists and wholesome people, so they can talk with each other for hours and feel very comfortable with each other's presence. Now, Mash is slightly excluded from this: they still like her and are always nice to her, but don't hang out with her half as often. She doesn't mind, though; she prefers Broye to those softies anyway.

Group 8: Compo/Laurin

Compo is very protective of Laurin. Despite only being minutes older than him and despite his short height, he always makes sure no one makes fun of his twin, and has a sixth sense for when the latter is uncomfortable. In return, Laurin is very grateful, and if he could ever return all the favors, he would.

Group 9: Mozart/Marnier

These two are your like, most typical ✨twinsies✨ sisters. They like to wear matching outfits sometimes, they gossip with each other lots, and generally they get along great; although, unlike some other twins on this list, they do have their own, separate lives.

Group 10: High Fat/Tablet

High Fat and Tablet probably have the worst relationship from all the siblings on this list. Even more opposite than Brulee and Broye, they disliked each other since early childhood, when Tablet relentlessly picked on High Fat, and the latter interpreted what Tablet thought was merely playful as outright cruel. As a result of their different perception on things, their antipathy only grew, and they prefer not to talk these days if it can be avoided.

Group 11: Smoothie/Citron/Cinnamon

Smoothie, Citron, and Cinnamon are each other's favorite people, full stop. They all have similar views on life, know each other's secrets, and they love their dynamic; in this dynamic, Smoothie normally takes on a role of the leader, with Cinnamon and Citron often looking for her approval and even mimicking her sometimes, but all this happens without them ever feeling consciously like there is any clear hierarchy.

Group 12: Saint-Marc/Basans

In their childhood, Saint-Marc and Basans were often confused due to their similar facial features. This experience left them bitter, so now, despite not hating each other, they both really try to stand out from the other. For Saint-Marc, the armor was a method; Basans went so far as to wear fake horns, being quite happy whenever it was assumed that Melise was his real sister.

Group 13: Galette/Poire

Poire likes Galette, even with the latter's anxiety and all. Galette, in return, is always kind to Poire, however, she cannot help but be overly stressed out by her sister's often dangerous ways of life. While Mont d'Or is a calming presence for Galette, Poire heightens her worries, so she'd rather hang out with the older brother, all things considered.

Group 14: Snack/Bavarois

Similarly to the first set of quintuplets, Snack and Bavarois like to share fast food or a few drinks, but don't necessarily tell each other much about their life, or their hopes and fears. Their hang out sessions are a bit rarer than for the quintuplets, though, even if they became more frequent when Snack lost his Sweet Commander post.

Group 15: Prim/Praline

Prim always looked at Praline from above, being both smarter and stronger than her. Still, their relations were somewhat amicable until Praline's betrayal. They used to enjoy at least shopping for clothes together, but now, Prim is pissed that Praline left, without telling her, taking with her a large portion of Totto's underwater population, and leaving her behind for Mama to take out her rage on her. If they meet again, Prim will not hold back and will definitely attack Praline just like the rest of her family, if not even more viciously.

Group 16: Kanten/Kato/Montb

Those three are completely neutral in their relations. They have distinct goals in life and personalities, and don't really think of each other as 'their kind of person' but can definitely have a friendly small talk when they meet; which happens rather rarely, considering they don't really seek these meetings out.

Group 17: Chiffon/Lola

As we all know, Chiffon and Lola love each other lots! Chiffon was always very protective of her younger sister and supported her fully in pursuing her dreams; little Lola, on the other hand, would beat up anyone who even looked at her twin wrongly. Since Lola left, they missed each other plenty, but Chiffon never blamed her for leaving and was just very happy to be reunited with her eventually.

Group 18: Mobile/Marble/Myukuru/Maple

These quadruplets get along in pairs. Mobile and Maple like each other lots and hang out with each other plenty, and so do Marble and Myukuru; however, between these two groups, there's little care and more of a neutral outlook.

Group 19: Mascarpone/Joscarpone

Mascarpone and Joscarpone are essentially inseparable. They know everything each other, finish each other's sentences, share literally everything (including clothes), and could be easily confused if not for their different gender. If you tried to keep them apart even for a few days, they'd probably be very uncomfortable and feel lonelier than ever.

Group 20: Newichi/Newji/Newsan/Newshi/Newgo/Nutmeg/Akimeg/Allmeg/Harumeg/Fuyumeg

The decuplets generally all tolerate each other, but hate to be confused. Overall, the boys get along, and so do the girls, but they don't mingle beyond these groups so much, with the exception of Newshi and Harumeg, who are best friends. There is just quite a bit of rivalry between the boys and the girls; they can cooperate great in fives, but as a whole 10-person group they might struggle to communicate all that well.

Group 21: Dolce/Dragee

Basically Mascarpone and Joscarpone on steroids. These two literally speak in unison at times, have their own secret communication system, sometimes switch their clothes which makes everyone confuse them, and get completely miserable and shy whenever separated. We'll see if they grow out of it ever or not!

Aaaaand there you have it! Congrats to everyone who got through the entire post, here's your supreme Charlotte family fan medal 🎖️ hope you enjoyed! 💕

#one piece #charlotte katakuri #charlotte oven #charlotte daifuku #charlotte cracker #charlotte brulee #charlotte smoothie #charlotte praline #charlotte chiffon #charlotte lola #charlotte galette #charlotte moscato #charlotte opera #and manyyy more #whole cake island #ask

59 notes · View notes

jamespotterthefirst · 3 years

Text

Heartbreak

Open Heart, Book 1, Chapter 10 (Part 2)

Retold through social media posts and messages

All posts here

Posted Saturday

10:53 PM

23 minutes before

______________________________

Received Saturday

10:56 PM

20 minutes before

______________________________

Posted Saturday

10:57 PM

19 minutes before

______________________________

Received Saturday

10:59 PM

17 minutes before

______________________________

Received Saturday

11:15 PM

1 minute before

______________________________

Received Saturday

11:18 PM

2 minutes after

from: Sienna Trinh

to: Lilac Allende

Transcript of voicemail:

Hey you! Sorry I called you late! I was baking my world famous German chocolate brownies and lost track of time. You know how I get. You weren't answering so I'm guessing you fell asleep. I'll talk to you later, okay? I can't wait to hear all about this trip!

______________________________

Received Saturday

11:31 PM

15 minutes after

Hi Carrie,

Are you ready to murder me yet? Given my lack of response in the last few days and the frequency of your emails, I would imagine you are.

I'm alive.

And in Miami, seeking inspiration in the turquoise sea and in the overpriced bottles of red wine this hotel insists on passing off as top shelf. Probably not something I should be admitting to my agent but here we are.

The manuscript is going well. Actually, I should say the manuscript was going well… Until I decided to scrap it and steer it in a completely different direction. Before you stop reading here to pass out or call me twenty five times, please hear me out.

Untitled_Mystery_Doc will still be a mystery at its core, except now the two leads will surrender to a forbidden romance. Detective Prescott must fall fiercely and hopelessly in love with Selene Obispo. It was something the writing was demanding of me all along, but I lacked the inspiration to bring their tension to fruition. That changed thanks to the Celestial's lavish oceanside balcony view.

Earlier tonight, I was leaning over the railing of my balcony, glass of that aforementioned wine in my hand, watching the last remains of a reception of some sort in the distance. A delighted, lilting laugh from a nearby balcony broke my concentration. It was from a young woman who looked to be no older than you are. Even from a distance, I could tell she was a vivacious creature, radiating the type of effortless beauty that would have even the strongest of beings hanging by her every word. In an inky blue dress, she looked so captivating, it was no wonder the man at her side could hardly keep his eyes away from her.

This man, Carrie.

He was, without a doubt, the handsomest specimen I have ever seen. A true Romantic hero come to life from the pages of every classic novel in the catalog. Tall with piercing eyes and a jaw so sharp, it could slice through even the strongest of convictions. He possessed the type of good looks that were striking, like the powerful fissure of lighting.

The pair seemed to alternate between conversation and companionable silence as they enjoyed a drink. Every so often, when he was certain she wasn't looking, he would glance at her almost desperately, as though rushing to take in as much of her before the precious seconds ran out. He was not aware that in those moments when he contemplated the vast ocean before them, she would do the same.

After another lull in their conversation, the young woman looked at her phone, a pensive crease on her brow as she searched for something. Seconds later, the notes of a song began to drift from the speaker of her device. The man scoffed, inspiring more cheerful laughter from her. Despite his annoyed front, his expression softened as he watched her.

More silence and then they started what sounded like a solemn conversation. As they spoke, he looked conflicted, his fingers gripping his glass as though reason and restrain were slowly ebbing away.

Fragments of what they were saying reached me.

“…higher I aspire, the more I stand to lose.”

“I...certainly understand that.”

He stood then, with the conviction of someone seeking to run away from the ineluctable.

When he stopped at the railing of their balcony, however, he turned to her, shoulders deflating as though realizing he didn't want to run anymore. Finding her there at his side was confirmation that she was an inevitability, a constant in his existence like his binary star.

It was confirmation that she was done running too.

He was saying something then, the words coming out in a desperate rush. She didn't seem to mind though, patiently listening and offering reassurance.

“... Your risk paid off.”

Those words seemed to be the denouement of their time together because his gaze took her in with undeniable clarity.

“It did...and I’m beginning to realize…”

The way he looked at her then, with over-spilling yearning, would have inspired poets throughout the ages. Even if I had a hundred years to write, I could never capture the utterly lovelorn way in which he regarded her.

“There are some things that are worth any risk.”

And then he kissed her. Their bodies gravitated closer to one another, reveling in the novelty of having her in his arms at long last. And even though this kiss erupted with the euphoric urgency of the first time, there was familiarity in the way he caressed her, in the way she stroked his jaw. As though they had spent long, agonizing moments before this memorizing one another.

All of this was painted clearly before me in the seconds before I stepped away.

I could not justify stealing any more of this moment from them. Particularly when the desperation in their movements acknowledged the race against the clock. They both knew that this stolen moment would eventually conclude.

I am inspired, Carrie.

Even from afar, I could tell these two yearned for each other. Their kiss was the inevitable culmination of forbidden longing, beautiful yet heartbreaking all at once.

It's exactly what was missing from my manuscript.

Let me know your thoughts.

How's Gigi? Did you like the groomer I recommend?

Sincerely,

Andrea

______________________________

Received Saturday

11:32 PM

16 minutes after

To Whom It May Concern;

My name is Lisa Burkett in room 4087. This evening, my husband and I witnessed a couple in a nearby room making out. They were extremely loud and explicit. The woman even climbed on top of the man at some point.

This is appalling since we're here with our children. Luckily they didn't see this happening.

Please put me in contact with a manager. This is unacceptable for a resort that advertises being family friendly.

Attached you will a picture of the incident. That's how exposed and close to us they were.

Sincerely,

Lisa Burkett

Attachment:

______________________________

Received Saturday

11:39 PM

23 minutes after

______________________________

Sent Saturday

11:41 PM

25 minutes after

______________________________

Searched for on Saturday

Googled by Ethan Ramsey

11:56 PM

40 minutes after

______________________________

Searched for on Sunday

Googled by Lilac Allende

12:03 AM

47 minutes after

______________________________

Searched for on Sunday

Googled by Lilac Allende

12:06 AM

50 minutes after

______________________________

Listened to on Sunday

Audible library accessed by Ethan Ramsey

12:46 AM

______________________________

Searched on Sunday

Googled by Ethan Ramsey

1:03 AM

From “Student Doctor Network” accessed at 1:11 am

______________________________

Received on Sunday

Sibling group chat titled “Y’all look familiar”

Members: Laurel Allende, Lilac Allende, Jaime Allende

1:36 AM

______________________________

Received on Sunday

from: Naveen Banerji

to: Ethan Ramsey

1:59 AM

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

2:17 AM

______________________________

2:46 AM

The Celestial Incident Report

Camera footage transcript

Hall 4000

Written by: Anthony Romero

Re: Guest Complaint

Guest, Dr. Ethan Ramsey, exits his suite, careful to shut the door as noiselessly as possible.

This man has seen better days.

His hair is disheveled and stubble mars the jawline that wreaked havoc among The Celestial's guests and staff alike. The doctor looks downright exhausted, as though he hasn't slept a wink all night. Full disclosure, I'm a measly hotel employee, writing an incident report no one will ever read so I don't know how to put this delicately. But here goes nothing: the man looks as though his lack of sleep is not from the reckless fun Mrs. Burkett complained about but rather the lack of it.

Dr. Ramsey hesitates mid-stride, looking at the door as though it poses a mystifying dilemma. Jaw working, he seems to decide something, jolting forward to take hold of the doorknob.

Reason seems to catch up to him because he exhales noticeably and releases the doorknob as though it scorched his skin. Looking angry but determined, he strides down the hall toward the elevator.

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

3:18 AM

______________________________

Received on Sunday

3:54 AM

_____________________________

Accessed via Ethan Ramsey’s camera roll

4:13 AM

______________________________

Received on Sunday

7:20 AM

______________________________

Failed Login on Sunday

Nurses’ Station desktop | Third Floor

7:53 AM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

from: Bryce Lahela

to: Brittany Ryan

8:01 AM

______________________________

Searched on Sunday

Googled by Sienna Trinh

8:01 AM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

from: Sienna Trinh

to: Wayne Bradley Torning

8:19 AM

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

8:35 AM

______________________________

Received on Sunday

8:51 AM

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

9:02 AM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

9:15 AM

______________________________

9:32 AM

The Celestial Incident Report

Camera footage transcript

Hall 4000

Written by: Anthony Romero

Re: Guest Complaint

Guest, Dr. Ethan Ramsey, dressed in pool attire, grapples with the key card to his room, the technology somehow perplexing to a man who went to med school. The struggle is short lived because the door swings open from the inside, revealing the second guest on file, Dr. Lilac Allende.

Again, no one reads these anyway so I can confidently say that if I wasn't a goddamn professional, I would've promptly slid into her DMs. She would've rejected me, of course, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, am I right?

Dr. Ramsey freezes as his eyes land on her, the muscles of his back tensing. Dr. Allende instinctively does the same, eyes going wide, much like a defenseless bunny facing the snarling snout of a wolf. They stay motionless in stunned silence for so long, I had to check the footage to make sure it hadn't frozen.

After what seems like an eternity, Dr. Ramsey clears his throat and averts his eyes, as though interested in the carpet's God awful pattern. This reaction is definitely the wrong one because Dr. Allende pulls herself to her full height, eyes alight with fire.

Goddamn. My bunny analogy was way off because this girl looks anything but defenseless when she is this pissed.

“I came back to change,” he explains, probably feeling her glare burning into his face.

“We need ice,” she says at the same time, lifting the empty ice bucket she holds.

They definitely don't need any. The ice in her voice and demeanor is enough to stock the poolside bar during spring break.

Dr. Ramsey looks at her then and when their eyes meet, an unspoken conversation passes between them. Slowly, her resolute anger begins to melt. Unmistakable hurt flits through her features and this time, she's the one to look away.

What the hell happened with these two?

Before Dr. Ramsey says anything, she moves around him and strides down the hall with unstoppable determination. He moves to follow her, but with considerable effort he forces himself to stop, watching her disappear instead.

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

10:22 AM

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

10:51 AM

______________________________

Received on Sunday

10:59 AM

______________________________

Received on Sunday

11:36 AM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

11:41 AM

______________________________

Received on Sunday

11:58 AM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

12:04 PM

______________________________

Edenbrook Hospital on Yelp

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

1:23 PM

Full transcript of review:

This review is regarding the "care" I received from one Dr. Lilac Allende. Is it normal to almost die at the hands of your doctor? I didn't think so either. Yet here we are. I went in because I had a horrible chest pain that got worse with each day. They assigned Dr. Allende, an intern, to me which was already kind of subpar but it's reduced cost medical care right? I should have trusted my gut because she diagnosed pneumonia and prescribed macrolide antibiotics azithromycin…. which I am allergic to!!! Don't they have charts for this reason?

Or maybe she can't read English given the language barrier. Do they need to start printing patient charts in whatever foreign language she speaks to avoid death?

I don't need to give you the gory details of what happened next, right ?

Anaphylactic Shock. Code blue. Defibrillator. I found out I wasn't the first patient this happened to under her care. There was an almost identical incident on her first day. When I tried to complain to management, they brushed it aside. Word around the hospital is that her boss favorites her. Figures.

______________________________

Received on Sunday

1:49 PM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

1:56 PM

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

1:57 PM

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

1:58 PM

______________________________

Drafted on Sunday

status: NOT SENT

1:59 PM

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

3:23 PM

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

4:03 PM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

4:13 PM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

5:26 PM

from Sienna Trinh

to Wayne Bradley Torning

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

5:41 PM

from: Sienna Trinh

to: Danny Cardinal

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

6:32 PM

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

6:36 PM

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

6:45 PM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

6:52 PM

______________________________

Received on Sunday

7:10 PM

______________________________

7:26 PM

The Celestial Incident Report

Camera footage transcript

Hall 4000

Written by: Anthony Romero

Re: Guest Complaint

Guest, Dr. Ethan Ramsey looks like a tortured man as he paces in front of their door. He runs restless hands through his hair, completely unaware of the effect this has on the majority of the staff reviewing this footage. He pauses in front of the door, pinching the bridge of his nose and raising his gaze upward, as though sending a silent prayer to anyone listening.

Jesus, Buddha, Beyoncé—whoever is up there, help this poor man out.

The door opens, causing him to flinch slightly. In the threshold stands Dr. Allende, wearing one of the hotel's fluffy, white robes. Though she is fully covered, save for her legs, Dr. Ramsey still blushes, as though aware of what lies beneath the fabric.

Dr. Allende, meanwhile, crosses her arms, leaning against the doorway as she studies him. This time, when their eyes scan one another, it's not with the frustration or resentment from the morning.

“Come inside.”

Her voice is quiet.

Dr. Ramsey's jaw clenches.

“Lilac—”

“We can't.” Acceptance ripples through her voice. “I know.”

Dr. Ramsey looks at her with an acute mixture of misery and longing.

“We can't ignore each other forever though.”

“I know. That's not what I want either.”

She nods once in response.

More silence.

“You're not angry anymore?”

The question is unexpected because her gaze snaps up to his.

“I wasn't angry at you, Ethan,” she says after a pensive pause. “I was angry at myself for refusing to let go of what happened. I just want to put it behind me without a backward glance, like you did.”

Those last three words get a reaction out of him. His jaw clenches and strains with effort, his shoulders looking equally as tense. He looks away from her, perhaps afraid that if he continues to look into her beautiful, earnest face, he will contradict her.

The way he had been pacing in front of her door only minutes prior, the way he looked at her this morning, the way his hand gripped the door knob the night before—all of it suggested her assessment as wrong. He was just as trapped in the previous night as she was.

“Lilac, I'm sorry about last night.”

She looks stunned for a brief second. When she recovers, she shakes her head in a tiny movement.

“I'm not.”

He takes in a long breath, allowing hope to filter through his expression.

“Now, come on. We have an early flight and my boss is making me go into work right after we land.”

“Sounds like an asshole.”

“The worst,” she agrees with a hum.

His quiet chuckle and the way he shakes his head is the last thing the camera captures before he follows her inside.

______________________________

Posted on Sunday

8:34 PM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

10:01 PM

______________________________

Posted on Monday

3:56 AM

_____________________

Posted on Monday

4:23 AM

_____________________

Posted on Monday

8:03 AM

______________________________

Received on Monday

8:16 AM

______________________________

Posted on Monday

9:11 AM

______________________________

Posted on Monday

9:56 AM

______________________________

Received on Monday

9:57 AM

______________________________

Received on Monday

10:03 AM

______________________________

Status change on Monday

10:21 AM

______________________________

Received on Monday

11:33 AM

______________________________

Sent on Monday

11:50 AM

______________________________

Sent on Monday

12:33 PM

______________________________

Sent on Monday

12:40 PM

______________________________

Sent on Monday

12:49 PM

_____________________________

A/N: I really hope you liked this because I poured my whole heart and two brain cells into it! Did you find my little Easter egg?

A few things:

I was going to include the song playing on MC’s phone in the balcony but decided that everyone has a different one. And I love that. Mine is Nirvana by Sam Smith. What’s yours?

That Yelp ordeal happened in real life at my old job. It was the shadiest shit I have ever seen. Even the meanest bitch at work was so shocked that someone would be this much of a snake. Someone printed the “review” about a coworker and posted it everywhere for everyone to see like Regina George. It was awful.

People also wrote computer passwords everywhere and just left them lying around. These computers had highly confidential info but people didn’t give a single fuck.

I picture Ethan picking up the Hamilton book because MC is obsessed with the musical. Plus, he’s a history nerd. But listening to it reminds him of her when he’s trying his damndest to forget about her. LOL good luck bro

I really debated having MC text him a risky picture after the kiss. But then I figured a) this is self-indulgent and b) once he kissed her, all reason and all restraints went out the window.

Thank you to everyone for being so patient while waiting for this! Thank you to @aestheticartsx for finding some of these amazing pics. She is the best!

I love you all.

-Bree

________________________

tags: @openheart12 , @takeharryandgo , @trappedinfanfiction, @aestheticartsx, @aworldoffandoms, @paulfwesley, @myusualnerdyself, @rookie-ramsey, @ohchoices, @colossalpainintheass, @enmchoices, @i-bloody-love-drake-walker, @choicesfanaf, @openheartthot, @octobereighth, @nazarihoe, @utterlyinevitable, @kites-in-our-skies, @maurine07, @schnitzelbutterfingers, @doilooklikeiknow, @snesdudes, @kingliam2019, @perriewinklenerdie, @cinnamonspongecake, @choicesstan1, @queencarb, @ethxnrxmsey, @missmiimiie, @jens-diamondchoices, @adamsdumortain, @apphia12, @kalogh, @lucy-268, @binny1985, @queenbirbs, @honeyandsunfl0wers, @newcolonies, @lilyvalentine, @rigatonireid, @interobanginyourmom, @parkerattano, @custaroonie, @nikki-2406, @lilypills, @chasingrobbie, @nooruleman, @lonely-mxxnlight, @ruinedbypixels, @shadynaturehilariouscookie, @tsrookie, @mvalentine, @professorkingslay, @drakewalkerfantasy, @casey-v, @helloblueeyedcat, @mysticaurathings, @blossomanarchy, @thegreentwin, @togetherwearerapture, @rookieoh, @ramseysno1rookie, @rookiemarsswiftie, @natashajaniphilchoices, @mysticalgalaxysstuff, @hatescapsicum, @choices-lurker, @kiara-36, @junehiratas, @danijimenezv, @macy-ray85, @adrex04, @canigetanawwjunk, @sanchita012, @overwhelminglyaquarius , @scorpiochick8, @skylarklyon, @starrystarrytrouble, @mercury84choices, @drariellevalentine, @ethanrcmsey, @lion-ess24, @aarisa-frost, @kaavyaethanramsey , @udishaman, @a-crepusculo, @quacksonlover,

@varikasnuori, @dimitriwife, @genevievemd, @shanzay44, @fabi-en-ciel, @trebondialanna, @emotionalswift2, @lady-calypso,

(If I forgot anyone, please DM me!)

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #playchoices #pictagram #My writing

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sam-t-a · 3 years

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Okay.

*Deep breath*

I think I’m finally calm enough to put into words exactly why I hated the finale and why I wasn’t completely surprised that I hated it.

(Heads-up: this is really long and pretty negative. If you disagree, I would of course appreciate your point of view and love to hear it, but just thought I’d let you know in case this is the kind of post you would like to avoid.)

To me, it felt like every character on the show got betrayed in some way or another, but the main ones are Han Seo (devastatingly), Chayoung (obviously) and Han Seok (bear with me).

Cha Young:

She started out as a solid FL who annoyed some people for sure, but who had so much promise as someone unconventional and bold. The way her mother’s death affected her and caused a clear shift in her personality was a super interesting plot point that really never got explored. We have no idea how she came to sacrifice her morality in joining Wusang, just that she wanted to spite her father, which is a very superficial exploration. She gets cute idiosyncrasies in lieu of an actual character and an actual character arc.

We also, halfway through the show, seem to forget that her father's death was the initial trigger. Cha young does not suggest bold ideas or intricate plans, she doesn’t fill the gaps Vincenzo is incapable of filling (because that would require that Vincenzo have flaws, and that’s not something the writers can abide), and she’s literally victimized in episode 19 and bedridden in episode 20, and that is IT.

Someone who started out supposedly as Vincenzo’s equal just became another piece in his chess set, no matter how important a piece she may be.

So her role as a badass avenger is trashed. That leaves her role as a love interest. Now, as Vincenzo’s love interest, she was supposed to get kidnapped in like episode 5 or 6 at the most if the villain has any brains whatsoever (Han Seok may or may not, more on that later). We need a reason for that not to happen too early. Cue villain is somehow in love with her for all of 15 minutes or so throughout a 20-episode series because a love triangle is inconceivable with the show’s current structure and for its purposes.

So, she spends 15 or so episodes making the first move on Vincenzo, every time, putting herself out there, creating cute moments, getting nothing in return, and then he leaves. No confession, nothing much, he wasn’t even going to say goodbye or give her the choice of coming with him.

I’m sure more chayenzo-oriented fans have already expressed all the necessary outrage over this, so I’ll move on to the part that I’ve personally been way more emotionally invested in from the get go: the Jang brothers.

Han Seo:

I was among the minority that hated the “Vinny hyung” angle from the get-go and I’ve ranted about it in another post, so I won’t get into it here in-depth, but basically it was because I felt like Vincenzo hadn’t earned it, so to have the last words Han Seo hears be “You deserve to be my brother” or whatever the fuck he was on about PISSED ME OFF. It’s VINCENZO who doesn’t deserve to be Han Seo’s brother and hasn’t done a single thing to earn it. He was a good ally. The situation he allowed Han Seo to be a part of was beneficial to him, but Han Seo’s attachment to him was neither healthy nor heartwarming, and it certainly wasn’t returned on the level he offered it.

Vincenzo’s disregard of his death didn’t strike me as odd because I never saw enough indications that this was a two-way street and Han Seo’s safety and well-being came second so often that I didn’t get the impression Vincenzo was doing much to keep him alive. This is what I meant when I said the show was glorifying a torture survivor’s trauma responses. Han Seo himself, as a torture survivor, meant nothing to them. He was just there to create one more contrived comparison between Vincenzo and Han Seok. Instead of recovering from the trauma, it’s simply employed to someone else’s favor. He doesn’t go to prison for Han Seok, he takes a bullet for Vincenzo, and we’re supposed to see that as so much better.

All of that might (JUST MIGHT) not have ruined the show for me if he’d died better. 1) It was narratively pointless and totally avoidable, 2) they could’ve framed it as heroic, but instead Han Seok’s hand patting his head is pushing it down, so he can’t even get shot with his chin up and his back straight, Taec’s already taller, so the angle’s fucked and the whole cinematography screamed “kicking an injured puppy” and most certainly NOT “survivor finally stands up to his abuser”. The final nail in the proverbial and literal coffin is that he is mourned by no one. They’re FLIRTING not 3 MINUTES LATER, it felt so tone deaf and left such a bad taste. As I said, I didn’t expect significant mourning from Vincenzo (gotta say, I didn’t expect no mourning, that was a shocker), and Cha young and the tenants had no real interactions with him and no reason to mourn him, which left only one person who could.

Which brings me to Han Seok.

Han Seok started out as a solid villain, clear goals, clear skills that help him achieve his goals and basically make him a villain worth defeating, and a very complex relationship with both his own psychopathy and his brother.

Let me get it out of the way: I do not believe Han Seok is capable of killing Han Seo because he had every reason and every opportunity to do so in previous episodes and couldn’t do it (I say couldn’t because a certain degree of reluctance is in itself inability). Han Seo’s danger far outweighed his material value the minute he shot Han Seok and then completely lost any value once he came out to the world as the chairman and it became clear that the prosecution would be going after him if anything happened, and not his brother. But time and again, he’s proven he’s all bark and no bite when it comes to Han Seo (killing-wise, specifically).

The scene where he asks him to beat Vincenzo to death could be interpreted as him wanting to give Vincenzo the “painful death” he would have given him, but honestly, I think he was way past that point. He just wanted him dead in the “You crazy? we have to kill him before he kills us” sense. To that end, killing off a key ally of Vincenzo’s, who betrayed you and almost got you killed a bunch of times, should take priority, but Han Seok’s priority is reclaiming Han Seo by forcing him back onto his side. Now, much like his “love for Cha young”, Han Seok’s keenness on not killing his brother was essential to the writers so that Han Seo can justifiably make it this far and still be useful to Vincenzo (he can’t help if Han Seok completely excludes him from all events, plans and management processes, so Han Seok needs to want to keep him on his side enough not to do that even when it’s more prudent).

All of this isn’t to say it’s unbelievable that he would kill Han Seo, but it’s DEFINITELY unbelievable that he would stay the same man after killing him. Someone here (I’m sorry, I don’t rememebr who) once said that Han Seo had become, over time, far more of a foil to his brother than Vincenzo was. To me, this means that Post-Han Seo Han Seok would be out of balance (tilted screen), unhinged in a way he never was before. The Han Seok we see shrugs and “oh, well”-s and moves on in a flash, not really any different from the villain he was four minutes and a whole brother earlier.

This is very consistent with the way the show has been de-humanizing him from the start. I’m not saying this to defend Han Seok in any way, he’s a serial killer, an abuser and a total maniac. But you can be all those things and still a human being. In fact, you can ONLY be those things if you’re a human being. The show used its villain vs villain idea to justify a lot, but in the end, Vincenzo had to be a protagonist. He had to follow up every “I’m a villain” with a contrived “but at least I’m not (insert something worse)”.

On the level of humans:

1) Vincenzo is supposedly different because he doesn’t hurt children or women (unless the women deserve it, and shooting a parent in front of their kid doesn’t count as hurting.)

But we never see Han Seok hurting women or children either. In fact, if we proceed with the “chayoung is the myung hee of the good guys” comparison, he hasn’t hurt any women nearly as badly as Vincenzo did.

2) Babel vs Mafia

Babel’s corruption is compared a lot to the mafia, with Vincenzo commenting repeatedly that the people are WORSE than the mafia...which is bullshit. Babel is a set of companies that provide goods and services, but use illegal means to maximize their profit, so they hurt/kill people in the process because they want more money and care about money more than ethics. The Mafia is an inherently criminal organization that functions PURELY on the basis of its criminality. Every single dime Vincenzo spends is blood money. None of it is clean. And while we’re on the topic, I find the whole “taking Miri under his wing” thing pretty unreasonable too because he tried to have her killed you guys, I cannot believe we’re just glossing over that. He had everyone who worked on that vault killed, just random fucking construction workers. And he’s not sorry. And the show tells you he shouldn’t be.

3) Repentance

Han Seok says outright he won’t atone, and while Vincenzo says no such thing out loud he just...doesn’t repent, I guess. He keeps the blood money, he goes back to being a full-time mafia dude doing mafia things. He leaves the same man he arrived.

So, if on the level of harm inflicted upon humanity, Vincenzo and Han Seok are pretty much equal (and Vincenzo might actually be worse), then why should we root for Vincenzo?

Well, my friend, that’s where the dehumanization comes in!

I was initially very excited to see their portrayal of a psychopath because of the very interesting ways in which the informal moral code and official justice system surrounding a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist affect their behavior and their chances of not turning out rotten, and the show looked like it was looking at corruption in general.

But as the show went on, the villain vs villain thing proved not to be enough, Vincenzo has to be better in some way (or if you’re as obsessed with him as the writers are, then ALL ways), so it became a villain vs monster narrative. Vincenzo isn’t ethical or fair or in any way interested in having a remotely positive impact on society, but at least he’s A HUMAN BEING unlike SOMEBODY. So, the characterization goes to shit, Han Seok becomes a cartoon card-board cut out of a villain and emphasis is put on how pointless his violence is, as opposed to how purposeful Vincenzo’s is.

This is dangerous on multiple levels (and I promise this is the last point I’m making).

1) For people in general, dehumanizing abusers/murderers/etc. makes us very liable to forget that you don’t have to be “a monster” to cause harm, and it makes people complacent in their belief that they are “not bad people” since they aren’t total monsters. The Banality of Evil is a thing, and in this series, it goes completely ignored. No one is inherently incapable of good or inherently undeserving of humanity.

2) For victims of abuse in specific, it’s dangerous to portray abusers (including serial killer and non-serial killer ones) as entirely bad and unlovable, because it poses the dual risk of making victims less likely to acknowledge their abuse if it comes from someone who cares about or loves them on some level because the idea that someone cannot both love and hurt you is so stereotypical. Your abuser can genuinely want you in their lives and need you and, on some level, love you, and IT DOESN’T MATTER if that love doesn’t stop them from hurting you.

On the other hand, portraying the victims of abuse as capable of flipping an off switch and hating the abuser with no hesitation or second thoughts to the point of unapologetically and cheerfully helping someone kill them and having no mixed feelings about it sends the message that if you CAN’T do that, then are you really abused? Are sure you’re not complicit in your own abuse? Do you even want to get rid of them?

So this is basically why the way the show ended was so painfully disappointing for me. And the main reason it hit so hard was that it was initially so good and had so much promise. I really expected more.

#Vincenzo #vincenzo meta #vincenzo spoilers #not that mad anymore but still so disappointed #hong chayoung #jang han seo #jang han seok #so much it to fix #my brother says hi #he is disappointed too

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literaryfic · 3 years

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singer!cha-young & violonist!vincenzo au pt.1

don’t ask me why. i have no answer for you okay.

cha-young starts her career when she’s 5, appearing in a yogurt commercial. she’s not exactly a cute child, but she’s enthusiastic and disciplined.

her dad, the retired leader of a rock band who had a few hit songs in the 80s, is the one who introduces her to music.

she learns the piano & the guitar and takes singing lesson. her childhood is guided by auditions and music classes.

when she’s 12, a big agency contacts her and she signs a trainee contract with them. her dad is against it, but her mom and her win him over. she’ll be careful, they’ll look after her.

she starts training after school everyday, on the weekends too. she’s not really good at dance and she gets in trouble a lot but she’s the best singer in her age group, which makes up for it.

time passes by and the company starts to ask her to lose weight. her dance teacher comments on how big her thighs are. she’s asked if she ever thought about a nose job, or an eye surgery. those things happen a lot, and if she wants a sit at the big table, she’ll need to make some decisions.

her parents disagree, of course, but then her mother falls ill. she has to stop working and money becomes scarce. cha-young doesn’t want to bother them with her insignificant issues and so she starts a diet without any of them noticing. she needs to be thinner, maybe she’ll win a scholarship and her dad won’t need to work two jobs anymore.

her dad comes home drunk most nights, as if the sight of her mother made him sick. she was dying and her husband couldn’t even look at her anymore. cha-young doesn’t know who she hates more: her dad or herself for wishing she could escape home the same way he did every night.

her mom dies when she’s 15 and she stops taking lessons. she quits the company after a while too. she wins a scholarship for a good arts high school, known to hone musical talents. she meets new friends there, ones who don’t care about her proportions or her eyelids, and she’s happy in school.

her dad and her starts to argue more and more, until they stop talking. she fills the silence in her empty house with the music she writes.

after she graduates high school, she works two jobs to pay her way through college. all of her spare time is used composing, writing lyrics, singing. she posts covers on YouTube and she starts to gain some followers.

it’s not enough to make money but an independent label that’s been on the rise notices her. she signs with them after reading the contract carefully, when she’s 19. she choses her stage name, NOVA.

her first album is out by the time she’s 20 and she starts appearing on tv. her second album at 23 is her big break. her first hit song “Alone With You”, an upbeat tune contrasted by sad lyrics, stays on top of the charts for weeks, owing her the nickname of “monster rookie”.

people soon start to discover her easy-going, bubbly yet blunt personality and she starts going on more variety shows.

she’s loved and she’s found her sound, profound lyrics with innovative instrumentals, she plays with genres and concepts often, keeping her image fresh.

at 30, she’s one of the biggest South Korean solo act. she tours the world, sells album, holds events for her fans, travels. she doesn’t have to think about money anymore. she lives in a luxurious apartment in the centre of Seoul.

she’s learned that not everyone is going to love her. she’s used to dealing with virulent anti-fans, stalkers and paparazzi.

she has everything her 15 year old self dreamt of, an amazing career and devoted fans, a name people recognise and a wardrobe bigger than their previous living room. yet, she can’t seem to fill the emptiness inside of her.

she calls her dad once a year, for the new year. he still lives in their old house, refusing to move into the one she bought just for him. he teaches guitar to kids at the community center in their neighbourhood. her anger doesn’t seem to fade with the years.

she almost looses everything when her assistant, jung jun woo, leaks the fact that she’s had an abortion after she rejects him.

she’d been dating an actor a few years ago, and they had had an accident. she’d noticed too late that she missed her period since it was irregular and had to get an abortion. she didn’t think any of it now, there’s nothing wrong with a woman making this choice and she wasn’t ready to become a mother. she’d never once regretted it in the past.

however, South Korea’s entertainment industry was not a kind one, and a news like that would destroy her clean, quirky girl-next-door image she’d built over the years. and it did.

she’d never expected jun woo to betray her. he was part of her management team, one of her assistants. he’d always been cute if not a little clingy.

he’d confessed his feelings for her a few weeks back, claiming that he knew they were made for each other and that he would do everything for her and she’d laughed in his face. she hadn’t meant to sound mean or insensitive, she had thought it was a prank he was pulling on her.

turns out it wasn’t, and he had leaked this “abortion gate” to dispatch to get get back at her.

her label had released a vague statement, about “a difficult time in her life”, urging people to stop looking into “her private medical history”.

trashy tabloids and online blogs had had a field day. some people even started a petition to remove her from the industry. the news quickly turned into a social discourse when feminist orgs stood up for her. everyone was talking about it, some claiming she was a slut, others turning her into a symbol for women’s rights.

she felt like neither, it had been too long since she’d gotten some to qualify as a slut, and her label would have never let her discuss politics publicly.

she’d lost dozens of endorsements and deals and had officially decided to “focus on her health away from the spotlight” for a while (another statement from her label)

officially on her first hiatus ever, cha-young was lost. every time she tried to write, nothing came out. it would’ve been the perfect time to work on a new album but it seemed nothing worked in her favour as of late.

it’s 6 am when her father calls her. the last she’d heard of him was when the scandal broke out and he’d sent a vague supportive message to which she had responded “thanks, dad”. it was unusual for him to call, especially so early (or late).

she picks up the phone the second times he calls. “hello?” “hello, do you know the owner of this phone?” the man on the other side of the line is definitely not her father and he sounds rather annoyed. “yes, i’m this person’s daughter.” “great, can you come pick him up from my hotel room?” “your hotel room? is he okay?” “he should be. we drank too much and i have to vacate the room before 8. can you come or not?” “yes.” “I’ll text you the address from his phone.” is the last thing he says before hanging up. what a rude man.

why was her father drunk in hotel room with this rude stranger and why was she the one having to pick him up?

she doesn’t want to wake up her manager at this hour, and so she decides to go on her own. the hotel isn’t too far, a mere 15 minute drive, and soon enough she’s knocking on the door of a very expensive hotel suit, definitely not what one of her father’s friends could afford. who the hell was this guy?

she definitely did not expect Vincenzo Cassano, renowned world class violinist, to be the one opening the door.

#vincenzo #chayenzo #chayenzo au #chayenzo fic #chayenzo hc #basically #famous!chayenzo

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 2 years

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TsuStar Week Day 6: Communication

Here’s my submission for Day 6! It follows them as they grow up from kids to young adults, so it’s a bit of a combination of Day 6 and Day 7 (growth). @tsustarweek

I reworked it from notes for a fic i never wrote, so there are some gaps but I'm happy enough to post it in this format

Black Star Age 12 // Tsubaki Age 15 (pre-show)

Tsubaki and Black Star admire each other

Living together and soul resonance lead to a higher intimacy

13 // 16 and 14 // 17 (in show)

After Masamune they move from friends to good friends

Even better at soul resonance (until Black Star's arc)

Tsubaki realizes she like-likes Black Star but has no intention of acting on it

Black Star begins the emotional shut down period of puberty

Dreams where Tsubaki leaves Black Star for Mifune drive him further away from Tsubaki

When Black Star masters enchanted sword he regains his confidence and Tsubaki feels closer to him

15 // 18 (post-show)

They finally start getting souls

Tsubaki continuously gets roped into being Liz's wingman and hates it but Black Star ignores her complaining

Black Star enters successive growth spurt period of puberty and is always cranky and having to constantly relearn his body (center of balance, height, loss of muscle mass and the inability to gain it back, constantly hungry)

Tsubaki moves on from her crush on Black Star…

Black Star begins to notice that Tsubaki is beautiful

People begin flirting with Tsubaki in front of Black Star and Black Star always interrupts by insulting the flirter. He does not know why. When Tsubaki snaps at Black Star he says it’s because they need to focus on fighting but Tsubaki thinks he’s upset that the attention wasn’t on him for two minutes

Their performance and teamwork begins to suffer from Black Star's emotional and intimacy retreats

16 // 19

Tsubaki begins dating…

Black Star and Tsubaki work hard on rebuilding their former connection strength but don’t make much progress. Failing makes Black Star mad which in turn reverses what little work they've done. It’s frustrating both of them.

Tsubaki asks Stein for help but he says its puberty and therefore all up to Black Star (he says all things considered Black Star is handling it pretty well. Soul got the acne package and the blow it’s made to his self-esteem has massively impacted his work)

Black Star's voice settles. He's so happy the embarrassing cracking is over

Black Star finds Tsubaki's dates annoying and again doesn’t know why

Tsubaki's boyfriend of like 1 month dumps her and Black Star just awkwardly pats her back while she cries. He knows he should be upset on her behalf but he's actually a little relieved despite the fact he's only met the guy twice and Tsubaki didn’t talk about him much

Black Star's height begins to level out and he starts regaining muscle mass

By the end of the year Tsubaki notices Black Star is now hot…

17 // 20

Black Star is finally tall enough for Tsubaki to "borrow" his sweatshirts/t-shirts. He gets this really warm satisfied feeling every time he sees her wearing them and doesn’t get why Soul complains when Maka takes Soul's clothes (Soul used to complain, then Soul kinda liked it when it was his jackets, and now he hates it again because he can never find his stuff. Kid complains too but more over the fact the sisters can afford to buy their own). Tsubaki takes them more for the smell then the fit, and she only takes 1 at a time, unlike Maka who raids Soul's closet daily

Black Star gets good at fighting again and it gives him a confidence boost

Black Star is still emotionally blocked but he's becoming easy to read again and therefore Tsubaki can fill in the gaps and their work finally begins to improve

Black Star starts being more touchy. He might not be emotionally intimate but he will cuddle put his arm around Tsubaki when they're on the couch

The girls start a game where they kiss Soul on the cheek anytime he does something remotely nice solely because he hates it, and then they make fun of him for being grumpy. Black Star is a bit jealous, of both Soul getting attention and Soul getting kisses from Tsubaki (he's the type of guy who'd do stupid things to get a kiss and here's Soul getting them for passing the salt), but the funniness overrides it

Soul starts putting things up high he doesn't want Maka to use or eat. Black Star decides to take this technique and use it to annoy Tsubaki by putting things she frequently uses just out of reach. Tsubaki is not amused. Its actually a pain when she's trying to cook. Black Star always busts out laughing when she starts jumping

Black Star starts to find annoyed Tsubaki very cute and proceeds to come up with more shenanigans to see her face turn red. She doesn’t understand how Black Star got so infuriating over night

He also loves it when she wears shorts but she almost never does. One day he steals all her pants and she thinks its just another one of his mediocre pranks. He managed to keep them from her for 4 days. Those were a great 4 days for Black Star (shorts and angry Tsubaki. The best of both worlds. One morning she was wearing a oversized shirt, unfortunately not his, which covered her shorts and made it look like she wasn’t wearing any. Black Star almost got whiplash from doing a double take)

Black Star has taken to working out shirtless. Him coming back from a run all sweaty without a shirt on tests her willpower. She suspects he does it on purpose (he doesn’t) to mess with her since according to Book of Eibon she’s the most lustful. Which is true, but she has this thing called willpower and thinking before you act, which drives Liz up the wall.

Black Star now flirts with girls (it never works since all he does is talk about himself) but still interrupts Tsubaki’s flirting, and when she confronts him he won’t give her a good answer so she chalks it up to Black Star wanting attention. At this point Black Star knows it’s because he's possessive of her.

For Liz's 21st birthday she wants them all to be there but none of them can get into the bars so she throws a party at the manor and her of-age friends bring some booze. Black Star is chilling in a circle when Patty goes "oh yay Tsubaki is finally talking with a guy the same age as her" and Black Star's jealous interrupting is only stopped because he's challenged to a drinking game and therefore required to participate distracted. He catches them making out later and is somehow stopped by Liz who's worked too hard and waited too long for Tsubaki to get with someone just for Black Star to ruin it. Black Star gets in a fight with someone else soon after, and after being split up Tsubaki decides to take Black Star home. He pretends to be a bit more drunk than he is so she'll put his arm over her shoulder, and he can have a excuse to hold her close (and they look like a couple). He's so wrapped up in how she looks and smells and feels that he doesn’t even realize they've made it home until she puts the key in the lock. When she drops him off in his room (water and aspirin already set out because she’s great like that and thinks ahead) he thinks about how he wants to keep smelling her hair and hug her and stare into her eyes a little and maybe kiss- oh. That’s why he's upset. He likes her. He wants to be the person she makes out with at parties. He doesn’t know what to do with this information. He then decides he has to tell her right now. He gets up and rushes toward the door only to trip on all the clothes he leaves out on the floor. Tsubaki is in the kitchen when she hears the thump. She decides he'll be fine and goes back to what she was doing when she hears his door crack and he hobbles out of his room. "Tsubaki! Tsubaki I have to talk to you!" "Okay... what is it Black Star?" "I’m pretty sure I've got the hots for you" "You're 'pretty sure'? You've been spying on me for 5 years I think you can bump that up to 'positively sure'" "no not like that, well yes like that, but I’m trying to say I think I’m in love with you" "Black Star that’s really sweat but you're drunk right now, I think you're just happy I got you home" "no, no, I’ve gotta be in love with you" "Black Star-" "I can’t stop thinking about how your hair smells or your smile or how you scrunch your nose up when you read or how you always wear my shirt when it laundry day and how you always yell at me when its laundry day and how you always look super focused when you make soup and how you really can’t dance and how I used to hate being shorter than you but I now really like when you wear heels because it makes us the same height which means I can look you in the eyes and you have such pretty eyes- yes that’s the smile I was talking about! And how I should be the one you makeout with at parties not random guys who don’t actually know how great you are and-" "Black Star" "Yes" "I agree I’m pretty sure you're in love with me" "See!" "And I think you're gonna have to lean down" "why- woah!" Tsubaki drags him down by the shirt, "So I can kiss you goodnight" and then puts her arms around his neck and kisses him. He slides his hands around her waist and up her back. "Now go to bed" "Wha- why?" "Because its 1 am and you should go to bed" "You should come to bed with me" "Goodnight Black Star" "I don’t want to go to bed" "You can’t get a good morning kiss if you don’t go to bed and wake up" "Why don’t we just kiss until its morning?" "Because you taste and smell like booze." She kisses his cheek and walks away "Goodnight Black Star"

Black Star always wakes up at 6am and while waiting for Tsubaki to wake up attempts to make pancakes and burns them all. He's on the couch when she comes out and in the process of explaining the pancake adventure she circles the couch shoves his shoulders so he laying down on the couch, she sits down on the edge of said couch, grabs the back of his head and starts makeing out with him.

Black Star formally asks Tsubaki out in the most over the top way a week later. Everyone in the vicinity is embarrassed. She says yes.

#tsustar week #tsustar #hinacu se #soul eater #tsubaki nakatsukasa #blackstar #day 6

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waumpel · 4 years

Text

ADHD STUDY TIPS

I have adhd. I'm taking all online classes this semester for college. Somehow, I'm not failing. Here's what I do that works for me!

1. I have an alarm that makes me do math every morning to turn it off, it's called Alarmy! 📚

2. It also plays a different loud sound every day from random-- I have several hundred(?) ringtones downloaded from Zedge, things like songs from shows I like or Pokemon cries or MBMBAM lines, and this helps me wake up to a different sound I'm bound to like which my brain can't get used to (and then ignore). I highly suggest godzilla roars if you need to be startled awake. 📚

3. This is SUPER HARD but I always try to force myself to sit up in bed when I'm turning off my alarm or checking my phone or whatever, so I'm not tempted to pass out again. I also like to get up and loudly tell my cats "good morning" so I wake us both up 📚

4. PLEASE STOP EATING CEREAL AND BAGELS AND STUFF. You would not BELIEVE the difference it makes when you eat things like fruits and eggs in the morning. NO MORE 10AM NAPS, I'M WATCHING YOU 📚

5. I literally schedule in Duolingo time. If you aren't learning a language you can do some other enriching activity like this, idk. I force myself to do it on my computer, not phone, so I can't lay down in bed when I'm doin it. I have a 101-day streak!! 📚

6. ik this isn't available to everyone but SPACE MATTERS SO MUCH!! I got a gaming desk that we put in our living room and I do ALL of my homework there. I also got a second monitor for my laptop with is SOOOO important if you're multitasking (and we all are, bc we're adhders ibdusvcjkn) 📚

7. HAND WRITE YOUR NOTES!!! I know this is super hard for many people-- I have carpal tunnel so I get it lmao. If you can't, at least type them. YOU THINK YOU CAN MEMORIZE INFO BUT YOU'RE WRONG!! Please write as much as you can i swear it will change ur life 📚

8. COLOURED! PENS!!! These changed the game for me y'all. I take all my notes in at least 2 colours, and I cycle through them a lot. My favs are Pilot Frixions because u can erase them :) (the highlighters are epic too) 📚

9. Make your space fun, but NOT DISTRACTING. I have a plant (his name is Yoshi) and a desk Godzilla (his name is Godzilla) on my desk, but they're out of the way so I can't zone out starin at em. But also, when I'm bored outta my gourd, I can smile at Yoshi and tell him how my day is goin :] 📚

10. SNACKING BAD *BUT*... sometimes i do it anyway... i try to associate certain foods with subjects, like I eat cocoa M&Ms (which are awesome) when I'm reading my Kaqchikel textbook. On the upside, I think it helps me recall Kaqchikel better? but also the language makes me crave mnms adkldigurvn 📚

11. LISTEN TO... CERTAIN MUSIC. I have learned that music with words, even in LANGS I DO NOT KNOW, is HELL for my adhd. Right now I'm listening to stuff like "Pokemon and Chill" (lofi album on YT), Studio Ghibli violin covers, and Night on Bald Mountain 5x on repeat ibjnvc.... I highly suggest songs/videos that are, like, 20+ minutes or else you'll get distracted with the constant change. Also, that No One's Around To Help 1hr vid is REALLY REPETITIVE and therefore PERFECT for when I'm reading textbooks. 📚

12. EVERY NIGHT... i make a super detailed timetable schedule for the next day, down to the half hour. I don't always follow it but it's a really good reminder of what I gotta do. I write it on a whiteboard but sometimes I also write it on a sticky note and on social media so I don't forget. To do lists are so epic you guys 📚

13. THIS HAS SAVED MY L I F E: at the beginning of the semester I looked at ALL of my syllabi and wrote down EVERY daily task, test, homework, etc BY DATE. this is essentially a premade to do list EVERY DAY for MONTHS and oh my gosh it is the best thing I have ever done. 📚

14. I use the Forest app to track my productivity AND lock me out of apps ndsjv... podomoro timers work well too!!! 📚

15. Ok so for me this is like... a religious thing bc my Patron (my God) is a deity of fire AND working, but I like to light a candle (scented like FALL!!) and do a little prayer on it and I have it next to me when I'm workin on terrible, terrible homework. It helps me feel like my Patron is here with me, but also it’s GREAT for grounding and I can just kinda. Stare blankly at the flame and then get back to tryin to focus. 📚

16. Please drink water lmao, to make sure I drink enough I set little goals like "take a sip after every paragraph you read" 📚

17. Each of my classes has a different coloured notebook which I'm consistent with! Like, all my German notebooks through the years have been green! Also I take notes w green pens a lot in Deutsch 📚

18. HELLA STICKY NOTES... I put em on the bottom of my monitor, on a shelf by my desk, in my books as bookmarks (bad idea lol), on Yoshi. When I wanna go look up something random but I need to focus, I like to write it down on sticky notes to look at later. 📚

19. I'm the most annoying student ever. I like to do a bunch of assignments at once so I don't have to budget my time later, so I'll turn in like 5 things in an hour and then NOTHING for a week. ALSO i email my teachers constantly if I have any questions at all. I work at a pace that works for me!!! 📚

20. I turn off my sound on my phone until I'm done with work bc otherwise I WILL open that notification 📚

22. I make a loooot of chai (and also some overpriced herbal teas). It makes me feel fancy, it's better for me than coffee, and it helps me ground and focus! Plus it's a samefood! 📚

23. Hyperfixating on classic literature would be awesome, except I'm hyperfixating on Gothic and I'm taking a lit class for More Than Just Gothic. But I'm figuring out ways to connect them, which is really helpful, cause I get to enjoy my hyperfixation while learning for school! PLZ TRY TO DO THIS (harder when you're hyperfixating on godzilla :pensivecowboy:) 📚

21. When I have extra time I write my notes like I'm plannin to put em on Tumblr and taggin em as #darkacademia... I never post my notes, but when they look nice it's easier for me to look over em later. Plus it takes me longer to write so I remember it a lil better!! 📚

24. I'm in an awesome academia + studyspo server!! We sometimes study together on call and it's SUCH a good motivator! Here's an invite link if u wanna join, we are nice https://discord.gg/fjuX7TN (this wasn’t meant to be a promo post I just really like this group lol) 📚

OK I hope that helps!!! Feel free to add more if you have any tips that work for you :) Neurotypicals, feel free to RB respectfully!

(pics are: syllabus list, daily schedule, Yoshi the plant, and some fancy notes)

#studyspo #studying #studyblr #study breaks #study tips #study motivation #adhd #adhd study tips #adhd studyblr #long post #dark acadamia aesthetic #light academia #dark academia #grey academia #chaotic academia #actually neurodiverse #actuallynd #academia

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