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sweet-s0rr0w · 3 months

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Happy Valentine's Day to you all! To celebrate, I'm back with another collaborative Drarry reclist, featuring a new lovely bunch of Drarry writers, artists, reccers, and fans!

Once again, the question was: ‘what one or two fics, or scenes, or quotes, represent peak Drarry romance to you?’ and (in what is rapidly becoming a nightmare for me), no duplicates from previous years were allowed. Thank you so much to everyone who took part, I hope you enjoy the results!

You can find part 1 (2022) here, and part 2 (2023) here!

This year's list features answers from: apricitydays-lazynights, arminaa8, drarrymyheart, drarryspecificrecs, hoko-onchi-writes, jtimu, littlewinnow, mallstars, myrtlefics, oflights, peachydreamxx, pl0tty, rainstormradish, romaine2424, squintclover, starquestingfordrarry, thecouchsofa, thedrarrylibrarian, and themiddleofwonderland!

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@apricitydays-lazynights

💗who will receive you in love's offices by jtimu (E, 30k)

It was a wonder, Draco thought, watching Potter tip back the last remnants of his drink, that the man had survived to adulthood. Not because of the war, or the constant attempts on his life, or surviving two separate killing curses, despite his insistence that he had at some point died, but because there was not a single ounce of self-preservation in his entire body. There couldn’t be. …He glanced over at the potion on the table, and considered, for a fraction of a moment, getting up and pouring those same drops of veritaserum into his own glass. He looked away just as fast, back at Potter, grinning in his chair like they were queuing up for a Quidditch game and not at all like he had just handed his childhood nemesis the keys to his thoughts. “All right,” he said, “first of all. What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you?

@arminaa8

💗My Beautiful Boy by alexmeg (unrated, 69k, sequel to Alucinatio)

"You don't even like boys."

"I didn't know I did. But you," Harry trails off, laughs with his gaze trying to meet the grey of Draco's eyes, a little tremulous with nerves and fear and the way his breath sticks high in his throat like an ache. Draco does look at him, then. "God, you."

💗Seagulls Cause Storms, or the Essence of Chaos by @writandromance (M, 312k)

The stars above them were bright white. It made him think again of the black universe between the constellations, the way he thought people like him held the space for people like Harry to burn hot.

@drarrymyheart

💗The Rewards of Being Loved by @lou-isfake (E, 161k, sequel to The Ordeal of Being Known)

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to make you stop thinking so hard,” Harry replied, grinning mischievously. He placed Draco’s hand on his bare waist, his own hand on Draco’s shoulder. Draco’s lips twitched in a hesitant grin.

“This song is too fast for you to dance to.”

“Only if I’m thinking about it,” Harry retorted, stepping in close. “Is my kitchen too difficult for you to dance in, your highness?”

“Don’t underestimate me, Potter,” Draco murmured, his grin widening as he pulled Harry flush against him, taking his hand. Harry chuckled, waiting for him to lead.”

💗I Do Not Love You by @writandromance (M, 228k)

“The thing is,” Harry said, voice low like all they’d said was public knowledge and this was the secret. “If you’re interested in this, if we pursue this, I’ll be a goner.”

“A goner?” he echoed.

Harry took a lung-filling breath. “Yeah, Draco,” he sighed. “That’ll be it for me. Tony… well, Tony I ended up happy to see go. Miles, I—that was hard in the moment but I was fine. But you… we’re so connected, our lives are so connected, our friends. I don’t want to fuck around, it would be serious, to me. You’re serious to me.”

@drarryspecificrecs

(cause 'Hogwarts 8th year' & 'creature' are among my fave tropes and I really really adore fics where Draco is in trouble but not weak & Harry is already smitten with him)

💗Draco Malfoy, It's Your Lucky Day by @faith2wood (E, 37k)

💗The Arc of the Pendulum by brummell (E, 30k)

@hoko-onchi-writes

💗Half Sick of Shadows by StarQuesting (E, 40k)

(I have a hard time containing myself about dragon tamer Draco, and everyone knows it. I’m about as subtle as a brick when something pings a sweet spot in my brain. But this fic is so much more than a hot, aloof, sex king dragon tamer Draco who has weaver Harry weak in the knees. It is also so very bright and clear in my mind; the visuals are so affecting, just like the creations that Harry weaves. Favorite scene: Harry casually chatting with dragons. 12/10 would be unhinged again.)

💗A pulled down shade by fast_brother (M, 43k)

(I’m not a big crier over fics. Maybe three or four have made me cry this year. This one made me lose it. I think the thing that stands out to me is the visceral capture of emotion. You can feel Draco’s broken heart, and then you can feel Harry’s. I could probably get worked up about it right now. Favorite scene: Draco crying over the broken tea cup. I literally can’t function when I think about it. 12/10 would cry again.)

💗The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls by thecouchsofa (E, 256k)

(I might be cheating since I’m still savoring The Brightest Constellation of Our Souls but I’m including it because it is Peak Drarry Romance. TheCouchSofa always has this intensely brilliant characterization. Harry is heartbreakingly oblivious. Draco is prickly and about as subtle as a brick over pining for Harry. This also features depression!Harry, which has gotta be one of my favorite Harrys. She writes depressed Harry with such delicacy, handling the ins and outs of mental illness and trauma with care, but also making it fucking funny. Favorite scene so far: Harry very casually slipping into conversation that he’s bisexual after he’s been traveling with Draco for an absurd amount of time without mentioning it. And Draco’s ensuing reaction. 12/10 will continue swooning.)

@jtimu

💗Designate / your love as fate by @elskanellis (E, 17k)

💗Lover, Where Do You Live? by @dodgerkedavra (E, 39k)

💗Seven Days in June by @fourth-rose (E, 47k)

@littlewinnow

💗1000 Kisses: #27 First Thing in the Morning, Just After Moving in Together by @deliciouslystickypersona (E, 3k)

Draco trails his fingertips over the flat plane of Harry’s belly, tracing the line of hair up to where it widens over his pectorals. He nuzzles his nose into the curve of Harry’s shoulder, inhaling the sweet, musky, sleepy scent of his skin.

💗Little Love by @ladderofyears (M, 34k)

Harry – who still held Draco’s hand – was gazing at the baby, spellbound by the sight. His whole appearance couldn’t have been prouder, or more loving, had he been Snidget’s natural father. When Harry caught Draco looking at him, he beamed, unashamed of his response.

@mallstars

💗Elaborate, Correct, and Assiduously Observed by peu_a_peu (T, 4k)

Some things were still the same, he thought. Draco was the perfect height for Harry to put his head on his shoulder and rest. That had been secretly true all along, and they’d only had to figure it out.

💗Us, In Lieu by Tepre (E, 30k)

“I . . .” The words jumble in his mouth. His hair is still mostly wet in his neck. He should’ve shaved. He should’ve cleaned his glasses. He should’ve— “I do want you.” And, “Enough,” he adds, then decides no , decides, “Not just enough. More than. More than that.” He licks his lips. “So much more than that.”

💗The Pure and Simple Truth by @letteredlettered (E, 14k)

Malfoy’s eyelashes were visible just above his cheeks, golden and some might have said they should have been darker, but Harry thought that they were perfect. The curve of Malfoy’s jaw, the slant of Malfoy’s throat, that was perfect, too. Malfoy looked up, licked his lips. “I thought you weren’t interested,” he said.

💗The Isle of Ogygia by @citrusses (E, 13k)

The days pass slower, after Potter leaves. Draco tries to fish again, and manages to actually levitate a fish out of the water, but then he Stuns it and it sinks back beneath the waves like a rock, and he doesn’t have any luck retrieving it again. Every day he walks to the top of the lighthouse, casts the right spells, and walks back down. He looks around his room and thinks about where Potter sat.

@myrtlefics

💗Going Postal by dustmouth (125 page comic)

(I am a complete and utter sucker for Dustmouth’s comics and the correspondence and longing and softness of this one make me really happy)

@oflights

💗Yours is the Earth (Hold On, Hold On) by chickenlivesinpumpkin (E, 127k)

(Chapter 11: it's one of my fave proposals in any fic ever/a beautiful love confession/a lovely romantic moment that fits with how the rest of the fic builds up their relationship and all the poor communication and ways they've hurt each other and love each other)

@peachydreamxx

💗to be a bit of warmth (for you) by @softlystarstruck (M, 9k)

Draco stirs in Harry’s arms, mumbling something soft and incoherent, and Harry whispers a wandless spell to completely dim the room lights. If Draco is just seeking comfort, so what? Harry has more than enough to give– it may be the only thing he has left to give– and Draco grounds him, too. Whatever happened on the other side of a war they both went through no longer matters. They’re here, now, and Draco is cold.So Harry will keep him warm.

@pl0tty

💗Tandem by fast_brother (M, 93k)

The handle clicked and the door cracked open, allowing the sound of rain to come into the car.

“I… thanks,” Harry said. His heart was beating faster. His hands were sweaty.

Draco didn’t back away completely, just enough to be able to look Harry in the eyes.

“You have to stop that, Harry. Really," he said gravely, as if speaking about a very serious issue.

“Stop what?” Harry asked stupidly, still holding his breath.

“You have to stop looking at me like that.”

Harry’s heart traveled all the way up to his throat.

“I– I can’t,” he blurted out, feeling himself flush with the enormity of what he’d just said.

Draco let out a shocked chortle. He looked away at the street covered in rain, his left hand still resting on Harry’s chair. When he turned back towards Harry, he wasn’t laughing anymore.

He leaned in and kissed Harry on the lips.

💗Matters of the heart by nerakrose (G, 5k)

Today’s breakfast: eggs, toast, tea. I’ve left the sink a mess this week but I’ll do the dishes later. In a way taking these moments to write to you every morning feels like a little quiet refuge or a secret space that nobody else knows about but you. It feels safe here. I miss you. These days I’m missing you more than I’ve ever missed you before and I can’t explain it. Have I reached a breaking point? I don’t know.

Yours,

Harry

💗More Than That by joosetta (E, 11k)

“He was going to kill you,” Potter said, “He said he was going to kill you.”

“He was never going to kill me,” Draco mumbled, “He was up against you for Merlin’s sake. He tried to play quick-curse with Harry fucking Potter.”

Potter was silent for a bit at that, raising a hand up and stroking the back of Draco's head.

“He thought I would help him,” Potter said finally. Draco felt the strangest thing, like a spasm in his face, that left his eyes hot, and his lips shaking. He had to gather himself together again before he could reply.

“Well, he’s never had me suck his cock, so there was no way he could know,” Draco said, instead of he didn’t realise that you loved me. Potter got it anyway, because he laughed, just a little bit. He drew back, and his face was the most frightening and beautiful thing Draco had ever seen.

“You always talk like you give me blow jobs all the time,” he said. “You almost never give me blow jobs, Draco.”

💗Sparks from the Fox’s Tail by khalulu (T, 17k)

And then it was just natural to turn in his arms so they were face to face. Eye to eye, lip to lip, mouth to mouth. Natural to fall into bed together, hands and mouths moving over warm skin, stroking and kissing til they were breathless.

Harry broke off. “Should we think this through?”

“No,” said Draco. “Why did you pull away in the shower?”

“You were so weak then, I didn’t want to take advantage.”

“I was throwing myself at you with what little strength I had. Next time, catch me.”

“I’ve got you,” Harry said, winding himself around Draco. “I’ve got you.”

@rainstormradish

💗Where I see things right by InnerLilith (E, 15k)

(just... absolutely gorgeous handling of a sensitive subject, and I love how the preparation and thoughtfulness is such a big part of the romance. I don't bookmark InnerLilith's fics so much as intermittently go and reread half their back catalogue again. I've loved everything I've read from them.)

💗Help! I'm a Hopeless Romantic by peachydreamxx (M, 15k)

(we watch Harry fall in love with Draco and come to terms with lots of aspects of his life. The little Google searches are just so sweet and tender and I loved, loved loved it. And the ending is so perfect.)

@romaine2424

💗keep driving by @babooshkart (art)

(The romance portrayed in Keep Driving is palpable. Draco is so cool, but from every look, you can see the adoration she has for Harry. And Harry thrives off of the touches between them but also has a confident sense of her own worth. I will never tire of this calming, soft piece depicting a happy, confident, and joyful Drarry. The world is theirs to explore. They'll keep driving.)

💗Never Mind the Bollocks by @the-sinking-ship (E, 119k)

(Never Mind the Bollocks is a new fic from Erised 2023. I loved every moment of it, and Harry having so much fun and feeling like he belonged was everything. However, his drive to right and save all was still there. Chapter 18 brought it all together. I won't say how as the fic is so new, but, for me, it was so romantic with BAMF Harry showing up and Draco trying to be mad. Complete chef's kiss.)

@squintclover

💗 A Secondary Education by Thunderbird587 (E, 235k)

(I remember so vividly the falling in love and the moment when it changed for both of them.)

@starquestingfordrarry

💗The Potter Malfoy bathroom war of 2007 by @andithiel (E, 9k)

(it is peak bathing-comfort)

@thecouchsofa

💗Cut From the Sky by mallstars (E, 150k)

(“Rainy romance’ describes this perfectly. I love how Harry grows to love Draco and never stops going after him once he realises that’s what he wants. This kind of love necessitates an endless amount of patience, but I can’t think of anything more romantic than that – someone coming back time and time again and showing you more grace than you would ever show yourself.)

💗Everything is Relative to You by @thehoneybeet (E, 43k)

(Harry and Draco being each other’s Great Loves in every life going back hundreds of years? I am feral. I cannot be contained. A demonstration of them being perfect for each other in every timeline, through good and bad. This is peak romance at its best.)

@thedrarrylibrarian

💗O Come, All Ye Faithful by @toomuchplor (E, 20k)

(Told through jumps between the past and the present, I adore the way toomuchplor depicts the everyday romance of an established relationship. Too often romance is delegated to big displays of affection, when I think much of romance is in the mundane, routine moments. Listening to your partner share about their day is romantic. Making routine breakfast and coffee is romantic. The intimacy of having an ongoing inside joke about a cat name is unbearably romantic to me. These are the small, everyday moments that the foundations of grand romances are built upon, and this fic was a love note to those moments.)

@themiddleofwonderland (amazuppai)

💗Heal Thyself by astolat (T, 16k)

(it's a classic H/D fic that preserves Draco's prickly personality while still showing him reforming in a very realistic way. It's a slow-burn—Harry isn't really in the first half at all, and when he does show up he's still very suspicious of Draco—but as Draco shows his (new) true colors, Harry can't help that his suspicions turn to curiosity (one of my favorite tropes with reformed Draco fics) especially with the somewhat forced proximity they find themselves in that slowly turns into voluntary and frequent proximity. To me, maybe because of the slow burn, it seems like a very realistic depiction of how Draco could reform himself and how Harry can turn his suspicions into curiosity and eventually more to form a healthy relationship together.)

#drarry #ss recs #my annual romance reclist #always forget how long this takes :D #worth it though #thank you so much to everyone who took part

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midheavenastrology · 1 year

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Random Astrology Observations # 3

~hey y’all back with some rando astrovations 😇 these ones are pretty personal placements 🍀

Thank u so much 444 reading 💜💜💜

❁❁❁Is it because I have Chiron in Gemini that I’m always cold around my arms and shoulders 💪 when it’s cold 🥶 outside, like I’ll legit be wearing a short skirt with no tights but have three layers on top with a thick ass coat but I’ll only be cold around my arms and shoulders+hands !!! what is this sorcery ? 🤨

✾✾✾Having both Venus AND mars in the 11th house is both beneficial and unfortunate because 11th house is the internet, it’s ur hopes+dreams and friends. This means when you achieve ur dream life, u might have tons of people loving it for you (Venus) while the other half will give you the evil eye (mars) 🧿. This also brings in haters/rivals (mars) but also huge fans/besties (Venus) on the internet.

✿✿✿Gemini and Virgo placements (honorary mention Sagittarius placements) how many tabs u got open on safari rn ? I’m a Virgo moon and I got 153 rn lol 😆

❀❀❀Someone said being a life path number 8 isn’t about obtaining power but it’s about EMPOWERING others and that really hit. My personal fave thing to do is gas peeps up. It’s like that weeknd song ♬star girl♬ “I just wanna see u shine cus I know u are a star girl~” ✨🥹✨

✯✯✯Taurus placements are just as “gothic” and dark as Scorpio placements - remember they’re sister signs so they’re similar yet different. Taurus tends to express it more in how they dress/how it manifests in their physical realm. Like my Taurus sun ex was covered in tattoos and wore all black all the time. For Scorpio its def more internal. I know tons of Scorpio suns who wear bright colors and floral patterns lol. They actually tend to have more of an aversion to scary things- like horror movies and death metal etc. I think it’s because they feel it internally already so they don’t need the outer world to affirm it for them.

★★★ Mutable signs are actual legit crazy tho- lol, if you have a ton of mutable placements, you’re probs a little coo coo bananas and that’s ok. I’m mutable dominant and I get called out for changing my mind every two seconds ! Probs broke some hearts because I’d be obsessed with someone one minute and next my pisces venus will be like ..hmm maybe not..Oops 😬😅

✦✦✦Did u know most serial killers are mutable signs ? It’s because our mood are changeable, as are our personalities. One minute they think they’re doin a sin and the next they’re like “oh I’m eating this man’s heart and it’s cool” 😂

✩✩✩ Speaking of which did u know ur mood changes from day to night ? I think u embody ur sun sign in the daytime and moon sign at night. They say that you also embody ur moon sign when ur inebriated. Lol

✦✦✦ I’m so tired of the stereotype that Virgos are all clean, anal neatfreaks- I actually find virgo placements to be some of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. True freaks (not neat freaks thank u- although that stereotype is actual truth lol) They get this rep for being these bookish, boring germaphobes but if u dive rly deep they’re visionaries- they notice everything, every little detail of ur stupid life. They probably know u better than u know yourself.

★★★Also they have the BEST style- probs because again they notice all the details-they study every fabric, every style icon, touch all the different textures and come to a style that is completely their own.

❏❏❏I’m sorry but if u have Taurus + Libra placements prominently in ur chart, u really DO care about how ur partner looks- physically. Like it’s rly hard 4 u to date someone who isn’t ur type physically. It’s because of the Venusian influence. Again, the low vibration of Venus is vanity. We are attracted to beauty like moths to a flame 🔥

☾☾☾ having lots of oppositions in ur chart can make you feel one way but act completely different. For ex: moon opposition Venus manifests as someone who wants to be a quite pleasant and charming, in fact you probs are naturally a charmer and really lovely to be around, yet you don’t allow yourself to express it emotionally.

✪︎︎✪︎︎✪︎︎Libra placements are such devils advocates lol. 😈 It’s def because you see two sides to everything, just like Gemini (also devils advocates) you can empathize with the other, so when ur friend is bitching to u about someone, u see the opposing sides view as well and try to “justify” their perspective. Hence the scales of balance ⚖️ that’s why a lot of y’all are lawyers lol

✡︎✡︎✡︎ 8th house placements are ur secret superpower 🦸‍♀️ 8th house is power, 8th house is dying and coming back stronger, like the Phoenix rising from the ashes 🔥 for ex: I have Uranus in Sagittarius in the 8th house: my power:shared resource that I gift is the awakening of ur higher mind. (Sagittarius is the sign of the higher mind and Uranus is the great awakener) I basically open ur third eye 👁 wide open lol (legit tho, my friends who have become closer to me have progressively become more spiritual and witchy since meeting me lol) tell me what ur 8th house placement is in the comments ✨✨✨⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️💪😉⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

#tumblr astrology #astrology #capricorn #zodiac #aquarius #taurus #gemini #scorpio #astrology observations #astro observations #astro notes #astro thoughts #11th house #life path 8 #numerology #spirituality #8th house #virgotraits #mutable signs

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uninformedartist · 6 months

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So just finished watching the ep so review. Spoils ahead:

So the episode was ok to me, solid 6/10 one of the better episodes which since this was supposed to be an "extravagant" ep why does it got better quality than the main eps, idk Viv has her moments like this ep and other eps its a train wreck in writing ect.

Mammon worked on my nerves, from design to his movements, personality ALL of him was annoying, which props for an annoying Villian but its Villian I never want to see back again and he's hinted for some sort of return.

Side tangent: Mammon is like the how many-ith Villian to get a return ep/hint at one. It was 1st cherubs, then dorks, then stella/ice twink, striker/crimson now Mammon & according to the leaked storyboards a ghost guy that tries to talk IMP into off-ing themselves... its a flipping lot and cherubs & dorks seem to be forgotten dispite dorks knowing & having hard evidence they exist, flip Viv chill it with your Villian of the week cos its way too many now.

Anyway, Blitz didn't need to be in this ep besides the flashback. Ozzie got him to talk Fizz out of being Mammon's puppet but ultimately Ozzie spoke him out of it & gave him courage to quit/confront Mammon. Even Blitz being a bodyguard/killing people for Fizz could've been any imp. Blitz is starting to feel like Steven from SU, in every ep even tho the ep doesn't need him/ the episode surrounds topics a wee child shouldn't be in (i.e Lapis trauma dumping on Steven & he a child isn't really equipped to handle that situation).

My fave part of this ep was Ozzie and Fizz. Ya'll I legit prayed Viv wouldn't mess these two up and my prayers were answered. Absolutely a joy these two were. Fizz especially what a darling. Loved that small scenes with him and the deaf imp child, l dont know sign language but it looked genuine animated and was just sweet moments.

From their interactions, Fizz's panic attacks/self doubt felt & were genuine... I felt that as someone that has panic attacks from high stress on my studies/life. It was just handled well. Fizz feeling less than and needing to prove himself from 1. his past 2. his appearance, that accident affected his self image/worth so much (why I felt him forgiving Blitz was too hastily done but I digress) & 3. him doing this Mammon contest still to gain/earn Ozzie's love for him cos Fizz believes Ozzie only sticks around because of this fame Mammon gave Fizz. Ozzie finally saying what he loves about Fizz was lovely, wanted that in the 1st ep but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Their song was... I didn't like it BUT the message in it was beautiful. Lastly Fizz saying fuck you to Mammon from the courage/strength Ozzie gave him was a nice send off... also Ozzie saying he loves Fizz ah ngl that made me smile agh I just love them. I want to see them more than the Stolitz show but thats only a wish. Props Viv, you get 1 brownie point not messing this up.

Last findings, the ep was bloated as hell my soul Viv please stop cramming so much in an ep, this one is 30 mins long & yet still felt bloated. Pacing was a motherfuka damn it was bad & the swearing was jarring (its a Viv written ep I don't expect any less but still gonna point it out) and the comedy wasn't so prominent in this ep, Blitz/Mammon gave some comic relief but in the best and worst ways:

The way the VA delivered this line "to be fucked" made me laugh, the line is cringy but the delivery lol gold

Aand Blitz, my soul shut the fuck up & get out this ep. Last ep & this one he said something so agonizingly cringe I pulled my face

The world of HB is legit American hell or earth just painted red since Fizz named all these places in America just "hellified" where his fans come from.

And very last, congratulations Salem glad you got the cathartic send off you deserve from working under Viv, truly fuck you "Mammon" indeed :) also glad they credited you this time.

#vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #spindlehorse critical #helluva boss criticism #my post #can we get a moment for Salem cos heck yeah for them whoooo!!!!

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noona-is-afk · 2 months

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Completed Dramas, Ranked

Masterlist of all the dramas I have finished and my rankings from 1-10. Keep in mind I don't usually finish dramas that I don't like, so most of these reviews will be 6+ ratings.

Recently added: My Dearest, Wedding Impossible, Vagabond, Love to Hate You

Twenty Five Twenty One - 10/10 Finished 2023-08 I will never recover from this drama. I cried and laughed and fell so in love with the entire cast. The friendship between the two female leads is beautiful. Nam Joo-hyuk the actor that you are. That ending will be permanently etched on my heart. Another incredible display of how talented female writers are in kdramas.

Favourite line: “It’s love. I love you, Hee-do. I don’t need a rainbow.” Tags: melodrama, sports, friends to lovers

Doom At Your Service - 10/10 Finished 2023-07 Cried my eyes out. Park Bo Young is too cute. The whole premise is so good and they do such a good job pacing it and throwing in twists to keep it interesting. Also has made me a huge Seo In Guk stan, the man is crazy talented at playing a villain with a heart of gold.

Favourite line: "Love me to the point that you will want to destroy the world for me." Tags: fantasy, melodrama, enemies to lovers

Reborn Rich - 10/10 Finished 2023-09 There has never been a better revenge drama. Succession meets time travel fantasy meets enemies to lovers romcom meets 90s period piece. Song Joong Ki absolutely nails it once again.

Favourite line: "There are 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year. They say time is fair to everyone. However, time isn’t fair. Just like everything else in this world." Tags: revenge, enemies to lovers, time travel, 90s

My Name - 10/10 Finished 2023-07 Despite being traumatized by the ending, this is still one of my fave dramas. The acting. The fight choreography. The romance. 10000/10. Pil-do might be one of my favourite male leads ever. I love me a soft boy who would do anything to protect his strong, independent woman.

Favourite line: "Is life supposed to be fun?" Tags: revenge, action, enemies to lovers, gangs vs cops

Romance Is a Bonus Book - 10/10 Finished 2023 -07 So rewatchable. Truly the coziest kdrama out there. A great start into noona romances too. Also the line where she talks about how it was so nice to be called by her name, instead of “mom”, “honey”, “you” really stays in my heart. Also started my obsession with Jong-Suk.

Favourite line: "Instead of 'I love you,' soseki natsume said, 'the moon is beautiful." Tags: friends to lovers, noona romance, workplace romance, romcom, love triangle

Extraordinary Attorney Woo - 10/10 Finished 2023-08 Absolute perfection. Jun Ho is the new standard. Deals with autism in a surprisingly modern way. Some interesting episodes on feminism in the workplace too.

Favourite line: "All my thoughts tend to center around me, so I make people close to me lonely. I don’t know when or why I do that. And I don’t know what I can do to stop it." Tags: legal drama, autism, workplace romance

Captivating the King - 10/10 Finished 2024-03-03 Incredible directing. Best acting performance of the year surely from Jo Jung Suk. Perfect if you liked Kings Affection. So much tension, little bit gay in a great way, and the palace politics are actually so interesting. All the characters are very morally grey and make for such interesting stories.

Favourite quote: “I love to win but I cannot put up with boredom.” Tags: FL disguised as man, historical drama, enemies to lovers

Nevertheless - 10/10 Finished 2023-06 Female gaze times a million. And the supporting cast is one of my faves (except for the TAs, they were boring as all hell). It’s also one of the few kdramas that tackle a relationship that’s kind of “friends with benefits” and you can very much tell it was written by a woman.

I get why some people really don’t like this one, but I’m a big believer in not needing the main characters to be good people for it to be a good piece of art. Everyone is very flawed in this (nearing on toxic), but it tells a lot of important stories that I really connected with.

Favourite line: "I know it will cause me pain again. Nevertheless..." Tags: friends with benefits, college drama, red flag ml, love triangle

Hot Stove League - 10/10 Finished 2024-03 Baseball is life. Definitely the best sports drama out there, although it’s a close race with Love All Play. This drama has no romance, so I was really surprised that it hooked me so much. But the drama is amazing. The villains are so good. And mostly I just love this goddamn sport man. Even if you don’t like sport, I think you’ll enjoy the twists and turns and found family dynamics of this one. Also Park Eun Bin never misses.

Favourite quote: "Everyone's situation is different, we all fight with the resources that are available to us. If we start listing excuses, we'll lose again in the same situation." Tags: sport drama, found family, no romance

It's Okay Not to be Okay - 10/10 Finished 2023-07 This was a slow start for me because I found the main female lead so annoying at first. But trust me she grows on you. Literally one of my fave dramas now. The emotions are SO real, I was crying constantly. Very attached to this little trio now. And the parallels of the beginning and ending are soooo good. All the characters have so much character growth, some of the best writing I’ve seen in a kdrama.

Favourite line: "Your body is honest. When you're in physical pain, you cry. But the heart is a liar. It stays quiet even when it's hurting." Tags: enemies to lovers, autism, mental health

Alchemy of Souls - 10/10 Finished 2023-10 Absolutely binged this. Such a fun watch. The lore is really cool too. My only thing is I LOVED the female lead from S1 and it felt weird not to have her in the second season. Also second season felt a bit rushed on the ending. Otherwise perfection.

Favourite line: "If you stabe me, then I wil die as the one who released the assassin. If you withdraw your sword, I will make you another promise." Tags: fantasy, enemies to allies to lovers, magic, love triangle

Love to Hate You - 10/10 Finished 2024-04 Incredible binge watch. Only 10 episodes, and all about 40 min or less. They don't get distracted by any unnecessary side stories and really just focus on the characters. Both the ML and FL are incredible, and the secondary couple is just as cute. I will forever remember the look that he gives her when she finally says I love you back. A great mix of comedy and swoony romance.

Favourite line: "I can stand other people hating me, but I can’t live with hating myself." Tags: enemies to lovers, idol drama, fake dating, badass FL x soft boi ML

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo - 9.5/10 Finished 2023-08 Too cute for it’s own good. Male lead is adorable. Only docking points for some of the weird mentions of the female lead’s weight and her being ‘ugly’. Otherwise the perfect drama. Great for a light watch as there isn’t much drama between the couple really, they communicate well and most of the tension is in their family and career.

Favourite line: "You fool, I like you. Not as a friend, but as a woman. If I don't see you, I get curious. If you're depressed, I get upset. If you smile, it makes me happy. If you're sick, I get worried. It's driving me crazy. It means I like you, doesn't it?" Tags: friends to lovers, childhood friends, sports drama, college drama, romcom

Descendants of the Sun - 9.5/10 Finished 2023-09 Beautiful. So sad. Chemistry is insane between the main leads. I cried so much. Also the friendships between all the characters are really great. The plot too is amazing. Only docking it a half point because some of the military propaganda is a bit much for me, otherwise perfect.

Favourite line: "Regarding the kiss, what should I do? Should I apologize for that? Should I confess my feeling to you?" Tags: exes to lovers, military drama, melodrama

Vincenzo - 9/10 Very addicting, plot is crazy fun. Leads have so much chemistry. Some episodes ran on a bit though. Tags: revenge, legal drama, workplace romance

The King's Affection - 9/10 Love the premise. Essentially a gayer Mulan plotline. Rowoon is cute AND badass. Also can’t believe this is the same Park Eun Bin as Attorney Woo?? The range!!! Tags: fl disguised as a man, historical drama, kinda gay

Love All Play - 9/10 Only docking a point because Taejun’s whole family deserved the shit beat out of them instead of a stupid redemption arc. Otherwise the perfect romance angst. Taejun is THE green flag. Tags: sports drama, college drama, partners to lovers

Soundrack #1 - 9/10 Beautiful. Short. Simple. Some of my favourite leads. Great winter watch if you’re feeling like some cozy, friends to lovers vibes. Tags: friends to lovers, winter, music

Mr Queen - 9/10 Really good, really funny. Just wish the ending was more gay. Tags: body swap, time travel, historical drama, comedy

Start-up - 9/10 I can’t believe how underrated this one is. First love triangle story that actually had me questioning who I wanted to be endgame. The male leads are written so beautifully and they are both so complex and interesting. And the female lead has you rooting for her so much. I also really loved how they wrote such an insecure male lead, the character development was amazing to watch and Nam Joo Hyuk crushed it as per usual. Tags: workplace romance, paid to date you, love triangle

Happiness - 9/10 Really really good. I always thought it would be interesting to get a zombie story post pandemic. I just think some of the directing wasn’t great near the end. Some of the scenes just needed to hit a bit harder for me, considering I know how good this cast is in other dramas. Tags: zombies, friends to lovers, fake married, cohabitation

Dr Romantic 2 & 3 - 9/10 If you like Grey's Anatomy for the crazy end of season events, this is the show for you. Wil ride, amazing chemistry with the leads, loveable found family. Tags: medical drama, found family, rivals to lovers

Hospital Playlist - 9/10 If you like Grey's Anatomy for the relationships and friendship however, this is the show for you. Medical stuff is sometimes boring in this one, but the found family and ships 100% make up for it. Also there's like 100 episodes of behind the scenes to watch and the cast is too cute. Tags: friends to lovers, slow burn romance, medical drama, found family, ensemble cast, music

Castaway Diva - 8/10 Loved the first 10 episodes. But felt it didn't wrap up great, especially with the romance. Tags: stranded on a desert island, music, childhood friends, finding your first love

Marry My Husband - 8/10 It's good, but kind of burnt out on revenge dramas with time travel. Villains were great though and Na In Woo is adorable. Tags: time travel, revenge, ml falls first

My Dearest - 8/10 The tension between these leads is unmatched. Also just a gorgeous show. Little too dramatic for me. Like after the tenth time they just missed each other, I wanted to pull my hair out. Also desperate for a little epilogue in the last episode. Tags: romance drama, historical, fated love

Oh My Ghost - 8/10 I love Jo Jung Suk, and with Park Bo Young??? Match made in heaven. I’m desperate for them to get on screen together again. Fun fantasy elements. Both characters have so many flaws but they develop so well. Tags: enemies to lovers (ish), ghost possession, restaurant drama

Welcome to Samdal-ri - 8/10 For the Hometown Cha Cha Cha fans for sure. Definitely under utilized Ji Chang Wook (where are the epic kisses pls), but overall the leads had incredible chemistry. 2nd ML was annoying as hell though. Give all the awards to the little girl. Tags: friends to lovers, exes to lovers, love triangle, middle-aged drama

Suspicious Partner - 8/10 Super cute. SO much chemistry. Bit too melodramatic for me and the second female lead is a bit one-dimensional. Really funny though and a decent legal drama. Tags: legal drama, enemies to lovers, workplace romance, cohabitation

Wedding Impossible - 8/10 Enemies to lovers plus a fake relationship to hide your bestie is gay. It's mostly really fun and silly, the FL is one of my favourite korean actors, but it falls a part a bit in the middle of the season. Would have been saved with more scenes with Do Han and exploring what it means to be gay in Korea. Even just more scenes where he's happy. Great finale and fluff throughout for our main leads though. Tags: Enemies to lovers, fake wedding, beard for my gay best friend, idol story

Melting Me Softly - 8/10 Really great premise and the chemistry of the leads is unmatched. Don’t be fooled by the branding, this is very much more of a rom com than a melodrama. Really liked the directing too, beautiful show. Tags: time travel, shared fate, workplace romance

Revenge of Others - 8/10 You know I love a good revenge thriller. Very good series, incredibly gritty for a high school drama. Twist at the end was kind of meh though. And also wish there was more romance as the leads were so cute. Tags: little to no romance, high school drama, revenge

While You Were Sleeping - 8/10 Really great premise. The main trio are all so good. I just think some of the romance drama near the end was a bit annoying. Shoulda been like 3 episodes shorter, just got a bit tiresome. Tags: shared fate, fantasy (ish), legal drama

Fight For My Way - 8/10 Very cute friends to lovers. Great chemistry between the leads. Very similar vibe to Weighlifting Kim Bok Joo, just wish the last episode was a bit more impactful. Tags: friends to lovers, sports, college friends

King the Land - 8/10 Very cute and fluffy. Love both leads. Liked how there was no unnecessary drama between them. Really healthy relationship. Just not my favourite plot of all time, hasn’t hooked me like other shows. Tags: workplace romance, chaebol ml, hotel management

Crash Landing on You - 8/10 Definitely hooks you. Starts to drag in the last 5 episodes with too much melodrama. But I loved how they switched it up mid-way through. Really engaging. Also the chemistry with the leads is unreal, makes sense that they’re married in real life now. Tags: found family, north korea, enemies to lovers, melodrama

Moon in the Day - 8/10 Very solid fantasy romance. Found it a bit boring though in the middle. Kim Young Dae is defs underrated though. Hopefully this will kickstart him as a lead now. Tags: fantasy, loved each other in a past life, revenge, enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers again

Sh**ting Stars - 8/10 Like 90% fluff. Also cool to see the behind the scenes of k actor management. Lee Song Kyung literally plays enemies to friends to lovers perfectly. Nearly same love story as Dr Romantic and Bok Joo, love to see it. Tags: enemies to friends to lovers, college friends, acting drama

Business Proposal - 8/10 It’s pretty good, but very trope-y. If you like a chaebol romance or workplace romance you’ll love it. It just didn’t surprise me that much, so very middle of the road. One of the few times that I actually was more obsessed with the secondary love story than the main. Tags: workplace romance, fl pretending to be someone else

Let's Talk About Chu - 8/10 Kind of ridiculous but surprisingly deep and heartwarming. Loved the chemistry of all the couples. Tags: sex positive, queer secondary couple, friends with benefits, taiwanese

Destined with You - 7/10 Another drama where the chemistry of the leads really carry the show. Also Rowoon is so talented. I like the premise, but the execution was kinda messy and the first few episodes kinda drag until they let Rowoon being a goofy boi. Must watch though if you love fluff and soft bois. Tags: enemies to lovers, love potion, fantasy, past life, betrayal

W: Two Worlds - 7/10 Despite wanting to rewatch this show constantly, it is kind of a hot mess. Really fun though, just the plot is like a yo-yo. Insane chemistry with the leads. Tags: fantasy, love across universes (webtoon comes to life)

Lovestruck in the City - 7/10 Great show and then the last episode is just like really a bummer. The main couple are super cute though and I like the jumping back to the beach town. Good summer watch! Not sure I really like the mockumentary style, but it’s quite cute. Tags: mockumentary, short episodes, summer romance, exes to lovers

So I Married the Anti-Fan - 7/10

The beginning and middle are really good and cute. Ending is just kind of rushed and feels a bit disjointed from the plot. Overall fun rom com though!

Tags: rom com, enemies to lovers, kpop idol

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon - 7/10 It’s very cute, but just way too fluffy for me, especially near the end. It’s a good light watch if you’re looking for something like that. Highly recommend watching the behind the scenes of this series too, because Park Hung Sik is just so in love with Park Bo Young and it’s adorable. Tags: workplace romance, superpowers, comedy

Hometown Cha Cha Cha - 7/10 This was my very first drama so I really need to rewatch it as I don’t know if my review is just because it’s aged in my brain. But it’s very cute, very wholesome. Supporting cast is incredible. My only real issue with it is I don’t love the female lead as much as I like other leads, just didn’t root for her as much as I would have liked. Tags: small town, enemies to lovers, found family

Forecasting Love and Weather - 7/10 Bit boring, but the chemistry is unreal between the leads. Really good twist near the beginning that still sticks with me. Also love seeing Song Kang as little puppy dog heart of gold boi. Tags: noona romance, workplace romance

See You in My 19th Life - 7/10 Love the premise and the leads are amazing. Female lead in particular nails the role. Just a bit too melodramatic for me. Another one where the side characters really make the show, especially her sister. Tags: past lives, childhood friends, murder mystery

Vagabond - 7/10

Great action thriller, the political plot had me the whole time. Suzy never misses. But it ended on a cliffhanger and I wish I’d known that before. Especially since Season 2 hasn’t been announced 😭 Otherwise the romance is great, ML is incredible.

Tags: action romance, enemies to lovers, spy thriller

My Holo Love - 5/10 Kinda just meh. Like it was cute and fun but nothing special. Female lead was really good though. Also I do like the plot around face blindness, just not super memorable as a show in general. Tags: mystery, ml shut in

Love Alarm - 3/10 Too cringe and immature for me I think. Interesting premise though. Song Kang is really good in it (although he plays a massive red flag again lol), I just really didn’t like the other male lead to be honest. Tags: love triangle, fated love, fantasy (ish), red flag ml

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accio-victuuri · 2 months

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i was trying to find what quote they used in xzs vlog, first i thought it’s the mary poppins one, but theirs excluded the “fear”. when i searched again, what came up is the movie saving mister banks. did he watch it? 🧐

him singing / humming starry starry night was such a treat! and it’s not really a surprise that he would like that cause he is a van gogh fanboy ( plus a sad song which is is vibe lol ) . the use of bad guy by billie eilish is my fave tho! it’s so perfect!!!! it’s an upbeat song that fits the video but i wanna believe that it’s something more. like what i placed in my tag, some people wanna paint xz as this bad guy/person and he is throwing it in their face. say what you wanna say about him but he is out here living his best life being sexy and beautiful in Milan.

there was also a part where this was mentioned:

山不讓塵,川不辭盈 // 智行方圓,曲中求直

The mountains will not let dust fall, and the rivers will not let go of their abundance. Wisdom moves in a circle, seeking straightness in the curve.

the first part comes from "Inspirational Poems" written by Zhang Hua of the Jin Dynasty. It means that mountains can be so majestic because they do not reject tiny dust; rivers and seas can be so vast because they do not reject small streams. The meaning of its reflection is that if you want to achieve big things, you must also do small things well. You cannot aim too high and do not do things because of small things. Only by taking things step by step and working steadily can you achieve success and achieve what you want.

In terms of human nature, it means that you should never do good deeds because they are small, and do not do evil because they are small! When it comes to learning, people who have strengths should learn. Don't think that these strengths are worthless just because their bright spots are small. Only by being able to discover the strengths of others can you enrich yourself and become stronger bit by bit.

AND WELL ISN’T THIS XZ’s WAY OF LIFE? He is not afraid to give his all and do the small things to reach his goals.

“wisdom moves in a circle, seeking straightness in the curve" is an idiom, which means to describe a person who has clear goals and plans for doing things, and can flexibly respond to various situations without losing principles. while "Seeking straightness in the curve" means that he can respond flexibly in complex and changeable environments without losing direction and goals., being able to overcome difficulties and keep moving forward.

One of the reasons why i admire XZ! despite the chaos that is C-ent and what people expect from him — he does not compromise his principles 💪🏼 he has showed that time and time again!

FINALLY THE USE OF THE COIN. Which could mean different things but my favorite would be this one that points out how the last time he made a wish in the fountain using a coin. and now, he is holding it and doing these wonderful things again, like his wish has been fulfilled. He was able to come back and experience it again. 🪙

source: one / two

#xiao zhan #personal #i’m doing this first before editing hahahahahaha #get ready for me flooding gif sets #sorry not sorry

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tillthelandslide · 11 months

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Insufferable Arsehole Part 7: All I Need To Hear

a/n: okay i actually really love this chapter (it might be my fave so far) ... ready for some cuteness between lou and matty and some protectiveness from the boys? i sure hope so. hope you enjoy it

Warnings: smut, fluff, spelling/grammar mistakes

IA Masterlist

Part 6

Minors DNI

Lou was sat on the front of the stage, her legs dangling over the side, her guitar rested in her lap and her notebook was sat by her side, the edges were frayed and ink was spilled on the surface. By every sense of the word, it was worn; beaten up and used. She loved it nonetheless and took it everywhere with her, it was quite a thick notebook, stuffed to the brim with songs of course, but also pictures she had taken (of her loved ones, her fans, strangers, nature, everything you can imagine), fun things she had found like flowers that she pressed to preserve, receipts from places she had visited, small mementos people had given her: it was all apart of her creative process.

She had several like it back home, but nothing made her happier knowing that this notebook was also filled with Matty now, Polaroid's she had taken of him throughout their time together, making up for the years where he wasn't present.

A pen rested between her teeth as she strummed and hummed, she occasionally stopped to write something down before playing again.

Matty was watching intently at the side of the stage, listening to how her voice somehow filled the empty venue, despite it being huge and her not having a microphone. He was enamored with her, well and truly infatuated. He loved how she used notebooks too, not opting to write it on her phone like some people, she found it easier to write this way and so did he, the words flowed out of them easily.

"And I'm, on, my way to believing" she sings, liking the words so writing them down, nearly finished and happy with the song she was writing.

"Can feel you staring y'know" her voice catches his attention then, she didn't look at him as she spoke, too heavily focused on what she was doing. He feels like a child who was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to, his cheeks flush and he looks down at his feet.

"You can join me if you want..." She says, turning her head to look at him now, his heart pounds twice as hard and three times as fast as her soft eyes find his, as her lips prick up into a smile upon seeing him. He can't help but smile at the way she pats the spot next to her, it was cute.

He was wearing a hoodie which was a size or two too big for him, black jeans and his hair was slightly askew on his head. She liked him best like this, this was her Matty, not the persona he had created for stage, or interviews or online. This was just Matthew Timothy Healy, the boy she grew up with that she hated for most of her life, who had turned into one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

The boy she hated felt like a distant memory now, she doesn't know how long it's been since he confessed his feelings but she truly doesn't care. Every bad memory she had of him was overwritten by a wonderful one, ones that made her heart flutter and butterflies swarm her stomach.

She realises as he walks to her that he's not wearing shoes, his feet clad in a pair of black socks, making his footsteps that much lighter. His movements are slow and fragile, not wanting to disturb her thought process. He truly can't even believe she's letting him witness this, he finds it quite intimate, watching someone write.

He doesn't speak for a few minutes, just listening to her, watching her intently as she plays a few chords, then jots them down in her notebook, singing beautiful words, before she's scribbling them down.

"Sounds beautiful darling" he says, quietly, needing to tell her his opinion but not wanting to interrupt her.

"Thank you Matty" she says, still not looking at him.

"I can leave if you need to be alone" he says and she looks at him then, frown resting on her face.

"Hey no. It's okay. Don't leave. Quite like having you here" she says, her words rushed and panicked.

"Okay I'll stay" he says, leaning forward to place a peck to her cheek, awkwardly moving around the guitar.

He doesn't quite know what to do when she doesn't continue writing or playing. She's just staring at him, before she puts her guitar down next to her.

She leans her head onto his shoulder, looking out at the venue. She used to dream about playing venues like this when she was a kid, when they were just kids playing in George's garage.

When her own band started selling out venues similar sizes to the one they were at, sometimes bigger, she couldn't quite believe it, she suffered with imposter syndrome for many years during the beginning of her career. But something about this, playing with the four guys she loved most in the world (and becoming friends with some of the best people she had met including Jamie Squire, John, Carly and Polly) ... It was different.

But recently, she felt unbelievably guilty for being so happy here, the idea was ridiculous. She missed her band, but was also having the time of her life with the guys. She believed that if her own band knew how she was feeling now, the happiest she had ever been and unbelievably in love; they would maybe feel jealous and Lou felt guilty because of that.

"Are you okay, love?" He asks, voice still quiet, scanning her features, trying to work out how she was feeling.

"I... Um" she hesitates, she moves herself from his shoulder then, looking at him. Her thoughts are clouded with all the negative things she's been pushing down recently: the fact that she had been receiving an influx of hate recently, the fact she was missing her band and her family, the fact she was feeling a little lost, if not momentarily.

He sees the tears prick at her eyes and he's quick to pull her into his arms, lips pressing against the side of her head, into her hair, trying to soothe her. He realises this is the first time he's ever seen her cry and the sight cracks open his heart.

"Hey darling it's okay, I'm here" and truly that's all she needs to hear to stop her tears from falling.

"Talk to me" he says after a beat. He feels bad that he can't help but feels grateful that he's the one experiencing this for a change. Usually George or Ross would be in his place right now... Sometimes even Hann. But for once he got to have her like this and that thought (although selfish) was everything to him.

"I miss my bandmates..." She admits (only scratching the surface of what was really wrong) and the confession pangs at his heart for a bit.

"Are you not enjoying yourself anymore?" He asks and she moves to look at him.

"No... No it's not that. I- I miss them. But I feel guilty more than anything" she admits and he knows not to talk, to just listen, because that's what she needed at that moment.

"I feel guilty because I'm with you guys, having the best time. And they keep asking if I'm coming back and... I can't help but feel like I don't want to. I don't want this to end because it's been perfect. We haven't even been on tour that long but it's the best" she says, sniffling as more tears threaten to fall.

"But they know you're needed for the whole tour right?" He asks and she nods.

"Truth is I don't ever want to leave you guys... You've all made me feel... The most alive I've ever felt in my life... Especially you Matty" she admits and his breath falters at her words.

He made her feel alive. He doesn't quite know what to do with that yet but he'll unpack that idea when he's alone. For now this was about her and giving her a safe space to speak.

"I loved being on tour with them, don't get me wrong. I love our fans and our songs and... They're my best friends, you know... It was fun... But... You guys feel like family... When I'm with you... When I'm on that stage with you all, I feel like everything is going to be alright" she explains and he nods. He truly felt that too, even before she started helping them out on this tour. He admits that it's gotten better since she's joined and the thought that one day she has to leave, it truly pains him.

"You know you're a part of this family now. Always have been really. That's never going to go away love" he says and she knows his words are true.

"And if they truly love and care about you they'll understand how you're feeling," he says.

"I can't stay here forever though Matty. Eventually Carly will be back, where she's supposed to be, and I'll be on the opposite side of the world to you guys" she says and again the thought pains him.

"Unfortunately we can't change that love. I know that's a sucky thing to say but we can't. We just have to make this time we all have together, count" he says and she nods, knowing he's right.

"You're right," she says.

"We will continue to play the shows, we will spend every waking moment with each other. And I... I'll shower you with love every day... And when the time comes to say goodbye... Maybe it won't hurt as much, yeah?" He says, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

"Yeah" she nods, feeling slightly better now, although she knows the more time they spend together, the more it will hurt to say goodbye. But she can't think about that now. So she decides to live in the moment, with the man she was falling in love with and her three best friends.

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A day off on tour was infrequent to say the least, but today they had one. They often wouldn't have time to actually do anything, they would either be too tired to wander the streets of whatever city or town they were in, or Jamie would be worried about them getting swarmed by fans. But yesterday, they had arrived at the city fairly undetected due to their flight arriving late at night. So with much persuasion from all of the band, Jamie was letting them explore today.

Lou couldn't control her excitement, so woke at 7am, she knew Hann might be up but the rest of the band would likely be asleep still. She slipped out of bed, hearing a groan from Matty, who's hand slipped from around her waist. Despite his groan, he didn't wake and Lou sighed thankfully.

She took a long, peaceful shower before slipping on a pair of jeans and a white crop, she smiled to herself as she applied some makeup, the "M" necklace dangling in front of her chest.

She slipped out of their hotel room, trying her best not to wake Matty. Their rooms in this particular hotel were all connected, she swore Jamie did it just to force Lou and Matty to shut up for a day or two (not that it stopped them). Each bedroom was connected to a large room in the middle, where there were large leather sofas and a small kitchen hidden in the corner. She spotted Hann sitting at the island there, reading a newspaper as he drank coffee from his mug.

He looked up from what he was reading, offering her a smile as she walked closer to him.

"Good morning sunshine" she says, her voice still quiet, too early to be louder yet.

"Sleep well?" he asks, already grabbing a mug and pouring her a coffee as she comes to sit next to him on the island. She nods at him and he smiles. Her eyes find the paper he's reading, seeing their faces sprawled out across the front cover, smiling at the group picture that was taken of them.

"What are they saying about us this time? Any slander?" she asks and he chuckles, eyes wandering over the paper.

"It's quite nice actually, makes a change really" and she nods at his words, taking a sip from the coffee, nice but not as good as the ones Matty makes for her she thinks.

"There's a lot of questions about you and Matty though Lou" he says, a hint of worry detectable in his voice.

"Yeah..." her voice trails off "been seeing a lot of articles come up on my phone too... People tweeting me too" she says and he looks at her then, trying to sense what she's feeling.

"You know you don't have to tell anyone what you are right??" Hann says and she nods at his words.

"Can't help but wonder if we're doing the right thing" she says, knowing he is exactly the right person to talk to about this. Hann will always tell her how it is.

"What do you mean love?" he asks, needing some more information before he gives his insight.

"No matter what we do... people are going to hate us... some people anyway. If we tell people the truth, that we're just having fun, enjoying time together, figuring out whatever this is... then they might hate us... if we carry on doing what we're doing, not confirming it but not denying it either... people are going to continue to say we're being unfair... not telling our fans the truth" she says and he nods.

"He makes you happy right?" he asks and she nods again.

"And I know for a fact that you make him happy. When you're with each other, does any of it matter? What people might think or say?" he asks and she shakes her head"no ".

"So agree you'll deal with the consequences together, either way, whatever you choose" he says and she leans on his shoulder.

"Thank you" she says and he briefly grasps her hand, giving it a soft squeeze.

"You've been there for me with all the Carly stuff in the old days, only returning the favor" he says, but they both know it's more than that. The whole group would do anything for each other, they'd die for each other if they had to.

"What would I do without you Adam Hann?" she asks and he chuckles.

"Probably let George, Ross and Matty delude you into thinking the sun shines from your arse" he jokes and they both can't help but howl at how funny they find it. They hear two doors open after that, each revealing a grumpy band member: Ross and George.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Ross says and he says the two of them laughing.

"I know you can't be laughing at Hann, he really is not that funny" George says, the next to join them, placing a soft kiss atop her head. George's eyes drift to hers, searching around her as if she was missing a limb.

"Where's the grump?" George said, a nickname they had given Matty because he was definitely not a morning person.

"Sleeping" she says, a smile creeping its way up onto her face, no matter how hard she tries to hide it.

"Oh look at you" he says, gripping the apples of her cheeks.

"Shut up" she says, shoving him.

"Well I'm not waking him up" Ross says as he plonks down on a sofa behind them. She sees John leave his room, coming to sit with Ross and before she knows it George is leaving her to join them too.

She stands, hugging Hann quickly to say thank you before she grabs another mug, pouring a coffee for Matty before standing up and walking to their room.

"Please for the love of god dont have sex whilst we're all awake" she hears George shout and she laughs.

"Wouldn't be the first time George" she shouts back, hearing him groan as the others laugh.

She slowly opens the door to their room, eyes flinching as she sees him stir in his sleep at the light that makes its way into the room.

She moves leisurely across the room, not wanting to suddenly wake him. She carefully places the coffee cup on his bedside table. Kneeling next to his side of the bed, her fingers drift across his hair, pushing the curls away from his face so she can see him better.

Sleep is etched across his features, his eyebrows furrowed almost in a frown so she places a soft kiss there, careful not to wake him yet.

His soft snores continue to fill the room and she smiles, she doesn't quite want to wake him, he just looked so darn peaceful.

"Matty" she says his name softly, accompanying her words with a kiss to his cheek making him stir. She repeats his name again, placing another kiss to his lips this time.

"Hmm" he mumbles, the kiss awakening him, out of instinct they press firmer against hers and his hand is quick to grab the back of her head, not letting her go just yet. She laughs against his mouth and he smiles, breaking their lips for a few seconds before they're back on hers.

"Morning" he grumbles, his morning voice awakening something inside her, like it always does.

"I made you coffee" she says, trying to distract herself from the feelings his voice draws out of her.

"Mhmm" he says, pulling her up from her knees and grabbing her so she falls on top of him.

"Now isn't that so much better?" he says, voice deep, the vibrations resonating in her chest.

"Matty we have to get going, everyone else is up" she says.

"Mhmm, everyone is up" he says, his words having a completely different meaning to them, and she knows exactly what he means as he raises his hips up to hers. She can feel him hard and heavy beneath her and her breath becomes bated at the feel of him, looking down at him she sees the all too famous smirk resting on his lips as his usual dark eyes are blown wide.

"Someone's definitely awake now" she says and he flips them, making her chuckle.

"Had a dream about you" he says as he smears his lips against hers, she tastes like coffee and he groans at the taste.

"Clearly" she mumbles against his mouth, making him chuckle.

They're abruptly disturbed by a loud knock on their door.

"What!" Matty shouts, making her chuckle.

"We have plans, remember!" they hear George say and Matty groans as Lou pulls away from him.

"He's right. Come on" she says, pressing against his chest to slip out from underneath him before tugging him upwards, out of the bed.

"You can sort that out in the shower" she says, gesturing to his erection.

"You will be the death of me" he confirms with a firm kiss to her mouth, one that completely knocks the air from her entire body, especially when his tongue aggressively presses against hers. He leaves her after that, stunned and a little bit (or a lot) turned on.

She returned to the others in the larger room, sitting by herself as they were wrapped up in some conversation she had no interest in partaking in, something about football.

She found herself scrolling on Instagram, interacting with fans who had commented on her recent uploads, a few of which were of Matty. She couldn't help but read some of the negative ones too, and suddenly she was in a deep trance, reading negative comment after negative comment. A few people were calling her a "slag" or "slut" and it did make her chuckle but also made her stomach churn. She has always had this desire to be liked, and when people didn't like her, she hated it.

She hadn't realised how long she had been scrolling but suddenly Matty was standing in front of her, his shadow casting over her features, but even that didn't make her eyes leave her phone.

He called her name: no reply. It wasn't until he was pressing his fingers against her chin lightly that she looked up at him.

"Ready to go love?" He asks, his features soft as he looks down at her, thumb gently running along the apple of her cheek, feeling like something wasn't quite right.

She tries her hardest to push the thoughts away, and does so quite successfully. She nods up at him, taking his hand as she stands.

"So I think John, Hann and I are going to go to this record store" Ross explains and Lou, Matty and George nod. Jamie, Jamie (manager) and Polly agree to stay at the hotel, needing some alone time.

"We can meet somewhere throughout the day? I'll call you" He asks as he pulls her to his chest, hugging her tightly, before hugging the others. She quickly hugs Hann and John, saying their goodbyes.

Lou, George and Matty decide to go to a local park, walking along in the sunshine, talking about all sorts. They pick up an ice cream each along the way, each trying each other's flavors. Matty walks with his arm hung over Lou's shoulders and she takes pictures of them throughout the day.

A couple of fans notice them and kindly (and quietly) ask them for photos which they accept. They appreciate that they don't draw attention to them, letting them enjoy their day off in peace.

They continue walking along the park, stopping to look at the trees, to guess what type it was (as if any of them had a clue), Lou would often stop at different flowers, naughtily plucking a few and begging Matty to let her weave it into his hair.

"Stop being a pest" he chuckles as he attempts to push her hands away from his hair.

"C'mon Matty! You'd look adorable... Please" she pleads with a pout on her lips. Matty has to seriously resist the urge to place his mouth against hers to remove the pout.

"C'mon G help me out here" she says and George holds his hands up.

"I'm not helping you with anything" he says and she frowns.

"You're both boring old men now" she says, Matty and George share a look as mischief clouds their features. They both set their eyes on her and she knows she's screwed. They both run towards her, George picking her up off the ground by her waist, Matty quickly finds her sides, tickling her. She squirms in her best friend's arms and all three of them laugh way too loudly.

A few onlookers scowl at them as they walk past making them chuckle as she's set back on the floor.

"Miserable fuckers" George's says as they laugh. They continue their walk along the park together, eventually wandering off into town to meet the boys in a coffee shop Ross had told them to meet them at.

He had popped a heads up in their group chat (a new feature for their group) that a group of fans was crowding outside, not too many, about 4 or 5. He said they seemed nice enough and said they're hellos and then let them enter the shop.

Lou found herself getting nervous the closer they got to the coffee shop, what if they hated her? What if they were amongst the few that had started to post mean things on social media?

George seems to sense something is wrong and hooks his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. They see the group that Ross had texted them about, she spotted almost instantly the daggers they were shooting her way.

George's hand nearly slips from hers and she's quick to whisper "please don't let me go" to him, he doesn't need to be told twice, placing his hand firmly in hers.

The group are quick to say hello to Matty, pulling him in for hugs and pictures. George gives Lou a look as they look at him and she nods, letting go of his hand reluctantly. She awkwardly stands there, getting the sense they didn't want to say hello to her. They quickly took photos with George before they were saying goodbye.

George comes to stand next to her again, placing his hand back in hers and walking behind Matty into the shop.

He takes a step into the shop, door open, leaving Lou to still be out the door. They both hear the fans' words at the same time and she flinches as she sees the look on George's face.

"See you've moved onto George now... What a slag" one of them says as the others laugh meanly, it felt like she was back in high school. Although online comments hurt, she was quite good at distracting herself from it all, but in person was a whole new kettle of fish: it was completely unavoidable.

"G just leave it" she says, looking up at him silently begging him not to step back outside.

"They can't say shit like that to you" he says, voice loud enough for them to hear.

"It's fine G really. Let's just go inside" she says.

Matty hadn't noticed the two had stopped in the doorway so he proceeded to sit down with the other boys.

"What's going on with them?" Hann asks and Matty shrugs his shoulders.

"The fans probably wanted to say something else" Matty says, not knowing what had happened. If he did he would've been straight out there, telling them exactly what he thought of their mean words.

"Please G, drop it" she says, hearing them say more stuff behind them, things about how Matty's ex's were prettier than her, how she 'wasn't even that good' and how they could've got someone better to replace Carly.

He sees tears spring to her eyes and instantly steps into the threshold. He begins to say something to her as the door shuts but she interrupts him.

"I don't want to talk about it" she says as she moves to the table the guys are sitting at.

"Well I fucking do" George says, his voice raised, drawing all their attention to the lanky lad as he plonks himself down, arm wrapping round the back of her chair in defense, as if it would protect her. The waitress comes over and asks them what they'd like to drink.

"Latte please" she says weakly. The waitress looks at George who doesn't meet her eyes, making her awkwardly walk away.

"Care to explain what's going on?" Ross says, getting completely ignored by the both of them. Matty's eyes flick between the both of them, utterly lost.

"You say you don't want to talk about it as if that's not the first time that's happened" George says, she can't look at him because she knows exactly how he'd look.

Pupils blown wide in anger, facial features furrowed and the vein on his neck would be popping out. She knew the look all too well, having seen it on many occasions in the past, most of them when she had broken up with someone or someone had treated her badly: just like this occasion.

Matty looks at his best friend, seeing a look on his face that worried him, one which he rarely saw.

"What the hell are you two on about?" Matty then asks, and she looks at him, seeing how worried he looks, he sees the remnants of tears in her eyes and his hand quickly finds hers under the table, squeezing it tightly in his own. God she was thankful for him right now.

"Those fucking 'fans'" George says, fingers raising in the air to punctuate the word fans "said shit about Lou okay? And I get the impression it's not the first time"

They're all looking at her now, anger sketched across every single one of their features, even John looked angry and she didn't think that was possible. He was practically a walking marshmallow.

"It's not the first time and it won't be the last. Doesn't change anything" she says simply, trying not to get upset.

"Yes it fucking does" George says, his eyes softening as she flinches slightly, he places his arm on her shoulder, softly squeezing as if to say sorry.

"Alright George calm down, she doesn't need that right now" Matty says, usually that would be something Ross would say but she's so thankful it's him this time.

"Sorry I'm annoyed" he says, arms crossing as he huffs.

"We all are mate, but it's not exactly helpful is it?" Ross says.

"What have they been saying Lou?" Adam says, his words carefully spoken as not to press too much.

"Just silly comments about me being a slag. It's fine honestly"

"That is not fine" it's Matty who is talking now and she looks at him and frowns.

"Love they have no right saying shit like that" he then says, squeezing her hand again. The waitress brings over her coffee awkwardly, not wanting to disturb the heated discussion.

"There's nothing I can do about it. They think what they think and it's fine" she lies, eyes drifting down to her and Mattys intertwined hands, before looking at Matty, who was silently begging her to just tell the truth, sympathising with the fact she felt she had to lie to them.

"What did the ones out there say?" Ross points to the window, the people who were there now gone, which he's thankful for because he was one word from going out there and shouting at them.

"They said something about me moving onto George and then called me a slag" she says, looking down at her coffee cup, fiddling with the china.

"Moving on to G- Oh" Matty says, eyes finding hers again, eyebrows furrowing to say sorry, he shakes his head, letting her know she has nothing to say sorry for.

"I was just holding her hand" George explains, making the rest nod "That's why you needed that didn't you? You were worried they were going to say something" he asks and she nods at him.

"How long has this been happening?" John asks.

"A while...." She admits and in unison they all sigh.

"Love, why didn't you tell us? We would've-" Matty starts.

"Would've done what Matty? There's nothing you can do" she says, voice breaking slightly.

"We would've at least known Lou. We go through these things together, that's what family is'' Ross explains and she lets a rogue tear fall. She suddenly feels embarrassed that they're having this coffee in the middle of a random coffee shop (albeit an empty one with one waitress but still)

"I'm sorry" she says, her voice frail.

"You have nothing to be sorry about" Matty says, and she's the one squeezing his hand now.

"We will get through this together, if this happens again, you come to us and you tell us okay? Any one of us" Adam says and she nods.

They were a family after all.

They finish their drinks after that, they all stand from their chairs, slipping their jackets on.

"Think we're going to head back" Ross says and a few of the others nod. Matty and Lou share a look, explaining that they wanted to keep exploring and so they do. Ross is the first to pull her into a tight hug, only letting her go when her grip on him loosened. Adam is the next to squeeze her into his arms, his hand drifting along her back in a soothing motion.

George hugs her tightly next, whispering an "id kill anyone who would hurt you, you know that" and she smiles and nods as she pulls away. John gives a quick hug before they're all being ushered out by Matty, who secretly wanted nothing more to comfort her on his own now.

They continued walking along random paths, down streets that had little shops and stalls, popping into a few to see what they were selling.

At some point, Matty's hand brushes against hers and she grabs it, he looks down at their intertwined hands, a smile on his face.

"You sure?" He says, looking around to see if anyone was watching.

"We'll deal with the consequences together, yeah?" She asks and he nods, bringing their hands up to his mouth and pecking the surface of hers.

"Then I'm sure," she confirms. They walk around the rest of the day like that, eventually finding their way back to the hotel.

----------------------------------------------------------

They briefly wait outside the hotel, sharing a cigarette between them and sharing a few tight hugs, ones that let Lou know Matty had her. Before they're hiding away in their room because Matty can sense that she needs to be alone (with him of course).

She finds a comfortable position on his chest as his arms wrap around her, keeping her warm and safe. Usually listening to someone's heartbeat would make her anxious, something about the rhythm impacting her own, but she felt grateful to hear his. She felt like it made her know him more, it was intimate, hearing when it picked up or slowed down, when it skipped a beat: it was like his own symphony and she was just fascinated by it.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice something was up” he says, frowning down at her, she simply shakes her head and presses a peck to his mouth, letting him know it was okay.

"Tell me what other people have said" he says softly, his fingertips flowing through her hair, the soft strands easily gliding in-between his fingers.

"I can't Matty it hurts too much" she admits now it's just them. She doesn't have to lie around him, or pretend she's fine when she's not. She can just be.

"I know love, I know. But talking about it might help" he says and she's turning in his arms then, looking over his features. He truly was a very handsome man, she never once questioned why fans fancied him so much. She lets out a deep sigh before she starts talking.

"Couple of people have said you guys could have hired someone better to replace Carly" he scoffs at that, placing a kiss against her cheek as he murmurs "there is no one better". One of the cracks in her heart heals at those words. She wants to tell him the one that hurts the most but she's scared: scared he'll confirm her worries, reject her thoughts and feelings (like so many had done previously).

She sighs deeply again, shutting her eyes as she says "someone... A few people actually… have said your ex's were prettier than me... Nicer... Better for you" she admits, her last admission is the one that destroys her. He's silent for way too long and her eyes snap open to see him.

She's rarely seen him look upset but God he looks upset now. His lips are set in a clear pout, the bottom one almost wavering as he sets his eyes over her features, his eyes almost glisten, he's not crying, but his eyes are like glass, tears almost threatening to spring.

"Lovie" he says, frowning down at her, she's trying to sense what he's thinking but falls short. What she would do to crawl inside his mind now.

"Want to know the truth?" He asks and she nods.

"Always" she says, partly worried she wouldn't like what he has to say.

"I compared every single one of them to you... It wasn't fair... Not on them because some, most of them were lovely. I never ever, not once, gave myself to someone fully... I looked for you in everyone. You made it pretty hard to be honest..." He admits laughing at his own confession and she doesn't know what to say. Another confession that shocks her to her core.

Her mouth opens before it's shutting again.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. Just know. Know that you, you are everything I have ever wanted and nothing came close to you. I'm never letting you go. You are living up to every single one of my expectations, superseding them even" he says. All she can do is press her mouth to his, letting him know everything she couldn't bring herself to say.

I love you, you're my person, no one has come close to you either, this is the best thing that has happened to me....

She knows one day she'll tell him but for now, she presses her lips to his, moving herself so her legs are resting either side of his body. His hands find her hips as his back leaves the bed, holding her against him as she straddles him.

She breaks away from him for a split second, removing her top, his eyes don't break from hers, not even to look at her chest which is now revealed. His stare is intense, one that would usually make her confidence falter, make her doubt herself, but now, basking in his light, she felt safe, seen. His stare tells her what he thinks of her, utterly obsessed and addicted.

He bridges the gap between their lips again, moving downwards after a few minutes of loving pecks. His lips find her neck, scattering loving kisses along the skin, just simple but firm pecks.

"You're beautiful" he says as he delivers a kiss to her collar bone. Hands drifting from her hips to her waist, taking his time with her, something that was yet to happen.

Everything so far between them had been rushed, each of them desperate to show each other their desire, their passion, their need for one another.

She wasn't scared this time, she was ready to have him in this way. To show each other they loved each other even if they couldn't bring themselves to say it.

His mouth finds the swell of her right breast, hovering over the warm flesh, lips coming down to press firm kisses to the skin. Her hands find the curls at the nape of his neck, playing with strands gently.

His breath is shallow, mind toying with the idea of undoing her jeans, but not wanting to rush the moment. She looks so perfect, sitting in his lap, her jean clad core flush against his. She felt him through her jeans, already solid and desperate for her.

"I'm so lucky" he murmurs against her chest as his hands find the clasp of her bra. His movements are far too slow for her liking, almost painfully so.

"Matty" she sighs as her bra finally comes undone, crumbling into his hands. He discards it somewhere unseen as his calloused fingertips toy with her flesh. His touch is gentle, barely there, but still manages to send shock waves of pleasure coursing through her entire body.

His fingertips delicately move across her nipples, making them pebble under his touch. She has never had anyone be this gentle with her before and it was the least she was expecting from a man like Matty. But he was always one to surprise her, everything she had learned about him so far had been a pleasant surprise, this perhaps her favourite of all. He would usually struggle to be this way with someone, but with her it almost came naturally to him, he needed, more than anything else, to show how how he truly felt.

"Want to take my time with you okay? Is that okay?" He asks, wanting them to be on the same page. She's nodding as he mouths at her skin, mouth wrapping around her nipple, sucking tenderly at the peaked bud. His lips move down in-between her breast, pressing against the necklace he gifted before reaching the other nipple, tongue teasing it gently. She can't help it as her hips rut against his at the amount of pleasure it causes her.

His hands move back down to her hips then and he's slowly lifting her, placing her onto the other side of the bed, back flush against the soft comforter.

Her hands find his shirt, lifting it over his head, revealing his tattooed chest. She stares at him from her place on their bed, how his thighs are parted, accommodating her small body, how the chest scattered with tattoos that she loves is clenching under touch, how he can't help but place his bottom lip in his teeth as he watches her.

Her eyes drift up to his face, his brown orbs almost perforating into her skin, clouded by something much greater than lust or desire: love. She can't count the amount of times he had changed his hair in the time she had known him, but this, this was her favourite, when the curls sat awry on his head, the grey strands drifting among the black, almost unnoticeable at a mere glance.

She was absolutely besotted with him and the fact didn't scare her anymore: she welcomed it.

Her lips are the ones to press against his skin now, dedicating a whole file in her mind to how he felt against her, how the centre of his chest dipped and how his waist curved inwards almost too much, reminiscent of the days in which he abused his body. He was healthier now and muscle had built up in the places where there once was only skin and bone. Even back then, through all the hate she found him beautiful, there was something about him that was unlike anyone she had ever met, but now she knows he is the most beautiful person both inside and out.

"You're beautiful Matty" she admits and the confession has him pulling her away from his chest, assaulting her lips in a passionate kiss. No one had ever used that word to describe him before and he found his heart jumped in his chest as he heard her say it.

His tongue moves against hers languidly, strong movements that have her eyes fluttering although already shut. Her small hands find his jaw, not wanting him to leave her mouth just yet, so he continues his ministrations, tongue curving around hers as sighs fall from one person to the other. She feels stubble under her fingertips and she smiles against his mouth, breaking them apart for a second.

He stares into her eyes, pupils blown wide matching her own. Their lips are both swollen, cheeks tinted red as they smile at each other.

His hands find the button of her jeans "may I?" He asks. "Please do" she says quietly.

He tugs them down her legs, careful not to be too aggressive with his actions. He wanted to show her how he truly felt about her, he needed to show her how grateful he was that she was here, with him. He knows she could have any guy in the world but she wanted him, he knew if he thought about that fact he's ego would inflate too much so he focuses on her.

He's quick to rid himself of his own jeans, making her chuckle before his body is resting above hers again.

He chuckles "sorry got a bit excited" he says making her giggle under him.

His mouth finds hers again in another round of passionate kissing. His hand drifts along her skin again, drifting along her now exposed thighs.

He hooks her right leg over his hip, flattening his core against hers, she sighs at this, mouth agape. It felt like every sense of hers was heightened, such a simple gesture making her see stars. He hadn't even properly touched her yet and she already felt on cloud nine.

"Matty, please touch me" she pleads, eyes finding the man above her. His features soften at her words, he doesn't say anything, simply lets his hand drift in between her thighs, meeting her underwear with the pads of his fingers.

One touch and she's moaning into his mouth, it was barely audible but he heard it. His fingers hook into her underwear pulling them down until she's revealed to him.

"So so beautiful" he murmurs, lips finding the shell of her ear.

His touch is feather light against her folds, carefully pressing up into her, making blissful sighs fall from her mouth, making sure he catches everyone with his own. She feels every ridge, every crease and indent in his fingers, the pads calloused from years of playing guitar. His fingers were rough in every sense of the word, a juxtaposition of how they were moving against her.

"So wet for me" he sighs.

He presses two fingers gently inside her, resisting the urge to press his own hips into hers at how she clenches around him. Airy gasps and moans are captured by his mouth.

"Matty" he would never tire of her saying his name. His cock pulses under the confines of his boxers, the way she's saying his name, like it's the only one she knows, it satisfies his deepest desires. He's curving his fingers up into her now, caressing the deepest parts of her, the spongy bundle of nerves being massaged with every deliberate trust.

"Matty" she sighs "I need you" she says and he groans into her.

"Don't worry I've got you, love" he says, knowing exactly what she needed because he needed the same thing. She helps him rid himself of his underwear, her hands wander in-between their bodies, grasping his hard member in her hands, he shakes his head, not needed the foreplay right now, he just needed her, desperately. He quickly finds his place back in-between her hips, leg hooking onto his hip as the tip of him threads through her cunt.

He slowly pushes all the way in, bottoming out as they sigh together. He holds himself there, deep inside her as she adjusts to the size of him, it wasn't their first time but it felt different like this, more intense. All she can do is grip him, making sure he doesn't move from her, she needs him here, close.

"My love.... Oh my love" he sighs against her ear, needing a minute to adjust as she clenches around him.

He places gentle kisses against her closed eyelids and they snap open as he draws his hips back slowly, pushing back in when the head of him reappears.

Their eyes never waver from each other, holding contact throughout. His movements are deep and meaningful, languid strokes of his hips sending his cock into places he had never reached before. His grunts are quiet, delivered into her ear so only she can hear.

His hand grips her bent knee at his hip, the angle forcing his cock into her sweet spot with every intentional thrust of his hips. Her mouth falls open against his chest, sighing into the skin, not wanting anyone to hear them. This moment was about them and them only.

Her mouth opens and then shuts, not able to speak with the amount of pleasure that was creeping its way up her spine.

He wants nothing more than to tell her he loves her but he's afraid she'll run away if he does. His pelvis is pressed against her clit with how deep he is and she's sighing into his mouth at the feeling.

She takes his hand in hers, pressing it against her abdomen " feel how deep you are Matty. No one has ever been this deep before" she groans. Her words have him almost cumming on the spot and his movements falter for a second, causing him to tip forward suddenly, sending him up and into her harshly, not the pace he wanted at the given moment. She gasps at the feeling regardless of whether he meant to or not.

"Keep saying stuff like that and I'll be done for" he says making her chuckle before the noise is replaced by a high pitched moan, his mouth pressing against hers to catch it.

This wasn't fucking, this was making love, their bodies telling each other everything they were too afraid to say.

A particular push forward of his hips accompanied by his fingers circling her clit has her sighing loudly, grasping his chin and forcing her lips against his. She didn't want anyone to hear this, this was a moment for just them, their own little secret.

"My beautiful darling girl" he grunts against her mouth.

"I lo-" he nearly says those words but her mouth presses firmly against his, not letting him say it just yet. He didn't need to because she already knew.

"I know" she says, nodding up at him, letting him know that she did too.

"Feel so good Matty" she sighs, his hips pulling out and pushing back in, her core convulsing around him, clenching against his girth as euphoria washed over her features. She was truly on cloud nine with him, everything else seeming to disappear.

"Fuck" he says, hips snapping forward a bit faster as he drew closer to his end.

Tears spring at her eyes as his hips pull back, snapping back in, the tip of him massaging her spot. Her eyes are closing as a tear falls, he’s kissing it away and her eyes open then. She had never felt Iike this before, not once had someone been able to make her feel this good. She was being loved the way she deserved.

"Matty" she sighs, back arching off the bed as her hands grip his back, pulling him closer if possible. His forehead rests against hers as he looks down at where they meet.

"Look how well you're taking me love. Fucking made for me" he says, her eyes snapping to where they're joined.

"Baby" she sighs. Her mouth hangs open, and he finds her eyes again, almost boring into her soul.

Euphoria takes over features and he knows she's close.

"Let go love" he says and that's all it takes. Her back arches even more off the bed and she all but sobs as a pleasure like she has never felt washes over her entire body. Her body spasms, her right hand resting against the pillows next to her head, he leans forward, grasping her hand in his.

"I've got you love, I've got you" he says, continuing his movements through her high. His mouth hangs open as his own high dawn's on him, he had never felt like this either. He had never really made love to someone before and he thought he'd feel vulnerable but with her, all he felt was loved.

"Oh god" he moans, hips spluttering forward as he reaches his own peak. He's cumming hard, harder than he thinks he ever has, long hot spurts of his cum coating her walls.

"So good" he says as their lips meet in one last passionate kiss. He pulls out of her, landing on his back next to her, completely high on everything that was her and this moment.

He pulls her to his chest, kissing her as she still comes down from her high.

"That was amazing" she sighs, completely fucked out.

"You're amazing, thank you" he says and she smiles at him, pressing another kiss to his lips, simply not able to get enough.

"Thank you" she says. He gets up to clean them both off, checking if she needs anything before returning to her. They stare at each other for a while, stupidly happy smiles resting on their lips.

Lou eventually presses her cheek against Matty's bare chest, her fingertips trailing across the skin, down to his torso, light touches drifting along his collar bones, in between his pecs, along the centre of his abdomen, finally caressing the "we are kings" tattoo she has grown to love.

Matty was breathing lightly above her, post orgasm high still coursing through his body, his own fingertips playing with her hair, occasionally pressing kisses against the top of her head.

The scene was something they had both grown comfortable with now, they craved it all hours of the day: up on stage in front of thousands of people, just among their friends and especially when it was just the two of them.

He began humming something, something unrecognisable but unmistakably pretty.

"Sounds pretty" she says, her voice barely a whisper.

"Pretty?" He asks, moving the hair from her face so he could see her. She looks up at him from her place on his chest, nodding and smiling when his face crunches up, not liking her confession.

"Don't want our music to sound 'pretty' love" he admits.

"Well it does, so deal with it" she says, turning to get a better look at him. She places a kiss on his scrunched up nose.

She wriggles about for a bit, trying to get comfortable, he grunts above her as she stabs and pokes him as she moves.

He doesn't mind though, he'd go through hell just for her needs. She finally settles, palms flat against his chest, her legs resting in between his parted ones, her face resting against her hands and she can finally see all of his face: including his untamed curls that sit askew atop his head.

He likes this position, he can see her face too now, can see how her eyes sparkle as she looks at him and smiles. Despite the both of them being completely naked, neither felt vulnerable.

"'All I Need To Hear' is a pretty song.... So is inside your mind, this must be my dream, when we are together, about you ,Falling for you, tonight (I wish I was your boy) me and you together song " she says, listing songs of his she thought sounded pretty and he groans at that, making her laugh again.

"alright I get it love" he chuckles, cutting her off and making her laugh and she presses a kiss to his chest.

"You're a pest you know that" he says and she nods up at him, smiling widely, making him smile too. His fingertips drift along her cheek, resting against her chin and pulling gently so she raises slightly. He presses his lips against hers then, making her sigh in bliss.

"You know you just listed several songs that were written about you" he says, making her shoot up to look at him.

"You can't tell me that," she says, making him laugh. She lies back down on his chest.

"Is my whole life a lie?" She says dramatically (on purpose) making him laugh and place more kisses against her lips.

"Tell me you love me" he murmurs against her lips, she wants nothing more than to break away and talk about his words but she can't bring herself to do so quite yet. So she allows him to keep pressing gentle kisses to her lips, getting carried away when he starts to press firmer ones, ones where his tongue peeks through his lips and presses against hers. After what had just happened she supposed it needed to be said. She feels him pull her away and her eyes open to find him.

"Tell me you love me" he repeats, his voice barely audible in the large hotel room. She thinks she knows him quite well now, and she thinks she knows why he's asking her.

"Can't seem to bring yourself to say it first?" She asks, whispering back at him. He's scared, although he has no reason to be.

"If I tell you that..." He begins but his voice trails off. He was truly scared that if he opened his heart in that way, she would reject him, or things would go wrong, afraid he'd lose her.

"Matty" she says, and his eyes shut, not wanting to look at her. One look and he'd be spilling his heart out.

"Matty, baby look at me" she says firmly making his eyes drift open to look at her again.

"You know you're not going to lose me right? Especially after what just happened" She says and he nods hesitantly.

"Matty, I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever. You're stuck with me now I'm afraid" she says. He simply leans down to kiss her again. The kiss is more passionate than the last one they shared.

"I love you sweetheart" he says as he pulls away, his eyes are tearing up slightly and she smiles a soft smile at him.

"I know Matty, I know. I love you too, more than anything" she admits before pressing her lips to his again. She goes to pull away but he lightly pulls her forward by the necklace that rests around her neck, the necklace he got her, the necklace that proves to the both of them that he's hers and she is his.

"Not ready for you to leave quite yet" he mumbles against her lips.

"Okay Matty" she smiles against his mouth.

They cuddle after that, Matty is the little spoon for a while before he's turning them, insisting on "wrapping the woman he loved" as he so blatantly put it, up in his arms.

He's repeating the three words throughout the night, some of them she heard, some of them she didn't (having fallen asleep in his arms) but that was okay. He had years of catching up to do, might as well get a head start he thought.

They were truly insatiable, waking every few hours and making love, various I love you's falling into the empty room. Each time seemed to be more intense than the last, until both of them are nearly crying into each other. They laughed with each other about how pathetic it was, but they were happy. The happiest either of them had ever been.

Part 8

Note: hope everyone liked this chapter, please let me know what you think and what you want to see... Even if it's not something directly linked to the story, could just be a Matty x Lou concept... Also help everyone is doing okay despite everything. Remember I love you

#matty healy #matty healy x reader #matty healy smut #matty healy fan fic #matty the 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy imagine #matty healy x ofc #matty healy x oc #insufferable arsehole matty healy series #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 fic #the 1975 smut #matty healy series #the 1975 #m

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atruththatyoudeny · 4 months

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Happy 28th! I wish I had more time to read this month, especially because I haven't read any of the advent fics yet but let me steer you to this wonderful post by @allwaswell16. It contains links to all the advent fics. Here are the fics I did read - and loved this month:

I'll Be Home For Christmas | lovelarry10 | [63k] Harry's life seems to be going well. He has a great job working at Festive Furnishings, he has an amazing three year old son called Danny, and his favourite time of the year is approaching. Just as Harry thinks everything is finally going to plan, he finds out that he is going to be losing his home just before Christmas. Louis Tomlinson is happy enough with his lot. He's the CEO of a company he started years ago, Festive Furnishings, he has great colleagues, especially his assistant Harry, and he has the best nephew in the world. But the thing is, Louis is lonely. He has a beautiful house but it's too quiet, especially at this time of year. Not that he'd admit that to anyone. While struggling to find somewhere warm and safe for himself and Danny to stay, Harry makes a decision that might just change the course of everything... and bring himself and Louis closer together as well...

And Now I Date Cate's Brother | sunflouwerhabit | [46k] “But what if you had a real relationship! What if you entered your Victorius era and wrote a banger about banging your best friend’s brother!” Louis blinked. Either his mind was working at half-speed or Niall was being especially stupid tonight. “I never banged my best friend’s brother.” “I know that and you know that. But we don’t always have to tell the truth when we write songs.” “You want me to write fanfiction about me and my high school crush?” Louis asked. The words were slow to form. “Like… actually?” “Why not?” Why not? Why not?!?! Because the idea was ridiculous, Louis wanted to say. Because he hadn’t seen Harry Styles in person in four years. Because Harry Styles was a stupid childhood crush- a popular, kind, stunning boy secretly adored by a quiet musician who felt every emotion so intensely he had to write them all down or they would suffocate him- and the two never shared much more beyond a game of cup pong and drunken conversations at a Halloween party a million years ago. Because… ~~~ A drunken writing session ends with a song detailing the fictitious summer romance between Louis and his former friend’s twin brother. It accidentally goes viral.

Bend the Rules | youreyesonlarry | [17k] Prompt 588: Lous hires a ‘ghost cooking’ service because his family is worried he’s not eating well and he wants to impress them by showing them what an amazing cook he’s become. The service includes sending a discreet cook to your house and have them get everything ready so that you only serve and take the credit. Problem is, his sisters (can be OCs if that’s more comfortable) get to his flat earlier than planned and the actual cook has to hide in the master bathroom for hours. Louis is mortified. The cook is amused and helps him to clean and well. Gives him a thorough service. Feel free to pick your fave as the cook.

Lucky (In Love) | Neondiamond | [3k] When Louis first volunteered to drop off his nephew Lucky at nursery to help out his nervous sister, he was not expecting the owner to be the most gorgeous man in all of London. He makes sure he’ll get to see him again.

silver dress feels like a cure | finelinegynandromorph | [10k] louis is a boudoir photographer and harry needs a little bit of a push to feel himself a little more. turns out they used to be rivals at a ballet company ten years ago. mutual thirsting ensues!

Hello, my name is Louis | tedtokat | [10k] Louis hurried to hang up the phone and take off his headset, throwing it away as if it was burning hot. He hugged himself by the shoulders and hid his face in his knees, sitting in his desk chair like a swimmer ready to dip into a pool, a pool of embarrassment. Not many people got past "Hello, my name is… " and even fewer engaged in a full conversation with him. And if they did, it usually went better than this. Prompt 148: Louis is a scam caller. Now this isn’t exactly the job of his dreams, but it pays well enough for him to continue doing it. Louis is a very anxious person, making it hard for him to talk, so he’s very shy when he inevitably scam calls Harry. Harry ignores the scamming, but after a certain number of calls, he’s had enough. Here ensues mean Harry at the beginning, sensitive Louis who doesn’t know what is going on half of the time, and if the author is up for it, autism-coded Louis too!

Two Night Stand | j_klmnop | [18] After an extremely regrettable one night stand, two strangers wake up to find themselves snowed in after sleeping through a blizzard that puts their entire city on ice. They're now trapped together in a tiny apartment, forced to get to know each other way more than any one night stand should.

Touch Me (Like Nobody Else Does) | goldensweetmemory | [11k] Prompt: A/B/O - strangers snowed in for an extended period of time and the omega starts to get touch-deprivation xx The alpha’s grin returned tenfold, deep dimples popping into his cheeks. Holy shit, he has dimples. “No, I don’t mind at all. I know where to find you when I need it back,” he said with a chuckle before leaning back into his seat. Louis let out a small giggle before nodding. “I’ll be sure it gets returned to you…?” He trailed off, one eyebrow raised at the other man. “Harry,” he replied, amusement still shining in his eyes. “And you are?” “Louis,” the omega responded before leaning back into his seat averting his eyes once again. “Thank you, really, for the charger. You’re a lifesaver. I’m not sure how I would’ve made it through without my Netflix.”

#28th appreciation #fic rec #monthly fic rec #my reads #monthly reads #larry fics #completed fics

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shanieveh · 10 months

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hanie's masterlist !

— i write mostly various because i can never be loyal to one man for too long

— they all/almost include my faves except for part twos: kaveh, scaramouche, kaeya, alhaitham

— uhm me subcategory them or saying the men involved in these fics... is for another day im tired

— all of them are sfw please i repeat DONT request nsfw works i see you on asks even if anonymous. yes there's profanity or suggestive innuendos in my first smau but PLEASE i do not write those stuff and im VERY MUCH uncomfortable with people requesting them thankssss <3

works (genshin impact)—

rosemary dreams and sweet lullabies

— the comfort of sleep when he is beside you, the moment when you cared more about the reality of the moment rather than the dreams that come along with it

how you love the genshin men

— how you love them depending on their personality and if they liked you back (some didnt angst ensues but there is fluff i promise)

the day... the music died

— you died, their reaction (some gore? idk)

i like you so much, you'll know it pt. 1

—the things they do for love

im in love with you, and know you know pt. 2

— the things they do for love also just different characters i dont really care about.... but they are kinda cool so its OKAY

call me, "lover boy"

— courting you and what made you like them back

being the genshin men's first priority

— they forget everything and anything when you're in the picture. you are all that matters (did i write this during a mental breakdown when i realize how unimportant i am to everyone? yes)

dangerously yours

— wdym this is based on anakin skywalker?! it is. enemies to lovers, you're the hero and he is the villain

salut d'amour

— based on the love of elgar (the creator of salut d'amour) to his wife though not the same plot just that love and affection you feel during the piece

genshin men crushing on you

— self-explanatory. grown adult men pining over you, should be just kaveh but i got carried away and added them all because why not?

10 things i hate about you

— red flags of genshin men based on the poem from the same name (pls watch it) and how ur blind from all the signs (or u just pretend)

i was enchanted to meet you

— first meetings with them cute and wholesome i guess

haunted by the ghost of you

— all alone they still can't help but feel another presence, as memories barely buried resurfaced his mind, of a quieter time, of a simpler life.

karma is my boyfriend

— more crack than fluff fic about how the genshin men will obliterate those that dare hurt you like who would???

when im no longer young and beautiful

— growing old with them (personal fave)

"who did this to you?"

— you're hurt and for some reason enemy!genshin men are concerned and doing everything to make you feel better

"forget me not" (neuvillette)

—fontaine is experiencing heavy typhoons and severe floods, and you might just be the reason why

please don't take my sunshine away...

—can't sleep? maybe a lullaby can help :)

to all the boys i've loved before

— you made a letter to your crush, he likes you back, chaos ensues in how he responsed

when you know, you know

— soulmates are a fantasy made by hopeless romantics, but as soon as he saw you he started to doubt that. he was in love.

"what letters?"

— he ghosted your letters is a sign he never loved you, and as you move on your life he comes back, only to tell you a shocking revelation.

"hey are you still there?" "good."

— only needed when everything goes wrong, when he's no longer in her arms. you felt used. but do you stop? never, he was worth it. (inspo by NIKI's song: backburner)

works (honkai star rail) —

the best thing that's ever been mine

— capturing the mind, the heart, the body and the soul of honkai star rail men

when you know, you know

— soulmates are a fantasy made by hopeless romantics, but as soon as he saw you he started to doubt that. he was in love.

#genshin x reader #honkai star rail x you #nievenavigation> <#nievepost:d #nievemasterlist0_0 #genshin x you #genshin imagines

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epickiya722 · 3 months

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If you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them?

Thanks if you want to answer....

I'll tell you, all my fics are special to me and most of the time, I find myself having fun writing them. Writing isn't just a hobby, but a way for me to release pent up feelings I have or express an idea that came to me.

To name a couple...

Beware of the Bunnies - It's the first fic I wrote for "if Miruko was Midoriya's mentor". It was fun writing that fic, especially when it's a fic for my two #1 faves. I honestly didn't expect the amount of attention I got for it!

Not Red, Black - I sometimes like branching out from writing warm-hearted, funny fics and this is one of those times. Another AU idea I had, but if Miruko and Midoriya were eldritch-like creatures and related. Unlike its prequel, this one stepped more in horror imagery and I think the direction the fic took.

Forbid a Woman from Being Great - Yes, another Miruko fic and one I actually wrote out of spite. When it comes to this fandom (as with any), is how double standard they can get. With Miruko, I have seem people hate her for being "too aggressive" or "too mean", but praise other characters for those same traits or even give excuses for their behavior. Or with fanservice, the same people who complain about it also thirst over the male characters getting bloody and shirtless. I don't hate characters like Dabi, Shigaraki or Hawks but I can't stomach how their fans act when it comes to Miruko or any other character really. It was actually a Hawks fan that irritated me enough to write this fic as well as get me out of the writing funk I was in.

An Absolute Menace - This is a fun little fic. It's part of a series of Class A and occasionally B partaking in antics. With this one, writing Koda as this troll was new, but fun.

Let's SK8 Over the Rainbow - This is actually a SK8 series that I wrote and it's still one of my favorites. It started off as a headcanon (Reki allowing Koyomi to paint his nails) and then spiraled into a collection of short stories themed around colors and I love colors so much. One of the fics, You're Lime Green Jell-O, I dove into expanding a character that only appeared once in SK8. Her name is Miki and she has green hair and I remember seeing her and going "You, you're getting some personality, a story, etc." Best decision ever. I just loved writing Miki and I think it was the first time I wrote a whole story for a character that only had two lines in canon.

Tu es le Moment Auquel J'appartiens - Another series I adore. I wanted to write some jealous Vanitas since I don't think I had seen a lot of Vanoé fics where he was the jealous one while Noé was more oblivious. Not at the time, I don't know about now since I haven't read a VNC fic in a long time. The title translates to "You are the moment I belong to" which is a line of lyrics from the anime's first ending song that I love so much.

It's the Pink Hair, Isn't It? - Do not get me wrong! I do love the AUs I see where Sukuna and Yuji are brothers, but the idea of this fic came from what if they were identical strangers and not related in the slightest. Even funnier, in the fic, Kenjaku and Suguru are siblings that look like twins, but Kenjaku is older. My favorite scenes probably have to be Kenjaku and Yuji interacting and Sukuna and Yuji meeting. I've also been cooking up a sequel so I can write more of Kenjaku and Suguru being siblings and Yuji's brothers and I do mean all nine older brothers. (I relate to Choso so much.)

Your Heartbeat Is My Comfort - Ever see a beautiful piece of fanart and you want to write a fic about it? That's what happened here. I saw this FushiIta art post here and it was like BAM! I had to write a fic. It was also another I didn't write something comedic, but more somber, bit of tragedy yet comfort in there.

Maybe Someday We'll Meet Again - I'm all for the Teacher Geto AU! However, this fic came from a what if scenario had Suguru and Yuji had met when they were younger and I always how Kenjaku was even aware of Suguru's technique. So I put both ideas together and thus this fic was born. It isn't dark, but little less comedic than others and I tried my hand at focusing on more of Yuji's strangeness and innocence here along with Suguru's character before he became a curse user.

You Are My Special - Again, another time I went for less comedy and fluff and tried with something else. I actually don't know how to categorize this one in terms of genre. SPECIALZ was stuck in my head for a long time and it got when I really started thinking about the lyrics and decided why not try writing something from Kenjaku's POV about Yuji? It may have took forever to write, but I'm glad I did. I actually wanted to write a companion piece of sorts but from Sukuna's POV about Yuji.

The Pink Sky and Cherry Blossoms - I actually just posted this fic and I'm glad I waited to answer this ask because of it. I was rereading the manga and came to Uro's fight with Ryu and Yuta and instantly fell in love with her character and thought about how would it have been like if Uro met my other favorite, Yuji? They have some similarities going on there and it was eye-opening writing those into this fic, especially with Uro's character. I wasn't around when that arc came out, so I didn't know how the fandom acted towards her, but for me, I just felt there's more to her than the surface. She's the Miruko of JJK to me as Yuji is the Izuku. Just as I would love for Miruko and Izuku to be a duo in a big sis-lil bro/mentor-mentee way, I love the same for Uro and Yuji.

The Craving That Paints Your Lips Red - The last fic I wrote for 2023 and a sequel to another fic, I wanted to try my hand at the horror again. But more tame, but still "Oh my gosh". I'm writing a post about it, but I have thoughts about Yuji and Sukuna's relationship and sometimes I have this feeling that Sukuna wants to corrupt Yuji, kind of like shape him to be the next him almost. Not for certain, but it's an idea that kind of struck me. For this fic, I wanted to explore a more horror fic side of Yuji housing the King of Curses. The best part of this fic for me is how I unintentionally stuck with the idea that Yuji keeps getting back up no matter how many times Sukuna tries to break him.

That list got longer than intended, but again, I have a lot of fics I have enjoyed writing! I'm glad to have talked about them and I thank you for asking! 💜

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thirdtidemouse · 3 months

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as i gaze upon your blog i wonder, “what the hell is taskmaster?” i’d journey the lands of safari but its much better to hear the words of insight from the enjoyer. quite interested in the au tho, tempted to watch this thingamabob because of it. i like hearing your ramblings about your fave doodabs and whatchamajigits. i am determined to return to you with the holy gift of a singular hilda but finals are kicking my ass and i’m learning a new art program. while i wait i’d love to be graced by your words :3

HI ANON!! first of all good luck with finals and your new art program i hope everything turns out BEAUTIFULLY for you don't forget to have fun!!

i'm so glad you asked! taskmaster is a ridiculously entertaining gameshow that originated here in the uk with other versions in other countries. it's super fun to make aus/character studies around the tasks because they're so telling of personality!

the format of the show is - 5 comedians per season are set tasks by host greg davies (6'8" ex-schoolteacher, and it shows) and creator/cohost alex horne (the brains behind it, but onscreen is very weaselly/neeky and generally picked-on).

each episode begins with a prize task, in which contestants must bring in prizes to be won by the winner each day - the most high-octane item, the thing that makes the best noise, the most difficult thing to take home. prizes range from body parts to furnished bathroom sets. these, along with every other task, are scored in the studio from 1-5 points. the rest of the tasks are filmed beforehand mostly in one house, individually and sometimes in teams, and are incredibly arbitrary, silly, confusing or difficult:

eat as much watermelon in 60 seconds. eat an egg the fastest (it starts raw). interview, then write and perform a song about this stranger. conceal an entire pineapple on your person. take three huge exercise balls to the top of this large hill. make the biggest mess, then clean it up. get this object as far away from here as possible. go the longest time without blinking.

sarah kendall purposefully, blindfoldedly, throws her own house and car keys into the trees in front of the building. james acaster gets taken aside onstage to be told off by greg like a schoolboy. respected academic richard osman throws a shopping trolley into a river in a fit of rage (it is retrieved). nish kumar and mark watson write a genuinely beautiful song together. bob mortimer makes a floor-size chart documenting the amount of piss produced across britain.

the episodes end with a live task in the studio in front of the audience. the show allows the contestants to genuinely go off the rails with comedic creativity and problem solving, and it's SO fun to impose characters onto this template. person gets presented with task -> completes task as they see fit -> is judged on their actions -> reacts to the judgement. like if you want to develop an oc. look no further!! put them on taskmaster in your brain.

every contestant, whether it be famous comedians, up-and-coming stand-ups, or actors & presenters, really shine in taskmaster. people who i don't really find funny become entertaining and i root for them simply because of the genius format of the show.

it gets gross, argumentative, tense, earnest, and never ever loses the clownish spirit and light-heartedness of the meaningless and hilarious program it sets out to be. greg davies is ruthlessly harsh with points, alex horne is endlessly nitpicky and often bullied, and they frequently bring up fanfiction written about the two of them for some fucking reason. they embody such perfectly fine-tuned characters, only to break them constantly to laugh at the show.

if anyone (no one) wants to know a few of my fav contestants rn they are:

sam campbell, lucy beaumont, sarah kendall, bob mortimer, nish kumar, james acaster, and the ENTIRE freakish family team dynamic of frankie boyle, ivo graham, jenny eclaire, kiell smith-bynoe, and mae martin

thank you anon :-) i'm sorry this was so long i hope you didnt mind reading it all and it told u what u wanted to know!!

#taskmaster au #taskmaster

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dropsofletters · 1 year

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flowers willingly die [yjh]

summary: each morning for their anniversary, jeonghan saw his dad give his mom a bouquet of roses. she never paid much attention to them, but he did. knowing fairly well that they died while bathing in the sun, packed in a half-full water glass. to him, that is what flowers meant. timely beauties that he adores from afar.

so, while travelling the world, he compared a lot of things to that vacant feeling, but he had never given a bouquet of flowers to someone.

not until he had seventy-two hours to spent with someone he liked.

title: flowers willingly die pairing: yoon jeonghan x reader genre: pilot!au ; guitarist!au ; small town!au ; strangers to hook-ups!au ; slice of life!au type: angst ; fluff ; drama word count: 7k approx. note: this is a request from my ko-fi! if you want to support me and write something for your fave, please do request over there!

Laughable are the tips of his fingers, freezing red, holding onto a ‘margarita’ that no one dares order in Dorothy street. Men here are booming voices, bumping fists on tables filled with whiskey glasses that half-empty themselves before they are off to another one. Quite like their wives, waiting at home with children that will grow to be just as bored of the sinking ships and the freezing summers that never meet the light of the day. It’s surprising that a man like him arrives at such a place, and she can’t say that she’s not a little bit intrigued.

With a suit that fits his slim legs like a second skin and a pair of shoulders that beg to be held on, she lets her calloused fingers trail on her guitar, plucking a few strings, imagining the soundtrack of him. Roaring screams and mermaid lullabies is what she is used to imagining in her songs, but that face is one of a man that has never done half of the work that people in her town do. Word has it that he’s a pilot; high nose, long strands of black hair, and a pout on his lips that, frankly, is quite kissable if she does say so herself.

He’s the booze after a break-up. The decision that no one wants to make, and when he sends a smile that is worth a million diamonds to the woman by the counter serving him another stupid drink that will probably be too expensive for the matters that he wants to partake in, she knows that he’s trouble.

She plays for the little pennies that she earns, trying to play it off as if she’ll be something bigger. It’s her and her guitar, and a few men that have only broken her heart. Her ex-boyfriend is still on her contact list, fresh off a new start as she revises every once in a while to check if he has texted again. The big surprise that isn’t really so is that he hasn’t, so the fickle heart of a musician stares at that pilot a little too long, basking on the face of another person. Someone much different from the men here and their small brains, their big muscles, their terrible idealization of a woman to be that. Pretty little skirts, flirty smiles and then, a goddamned wife.

He must be freezing, but he doesn’t show it that night. She’s wrapped up to the core, with a beanie covering the tip of her ears and her fingertips rubbing on the guitar every once in a while to stop the cold from seeping through. His black suit is thin enough to let her imagine the worst when he approaches her, sipping on his drink and lulling his head to the side when he takes a seat next to her on the stage that no one looks at.

She’s played in this bar for the past three years and no one has ever sat beside her. Not unless it was her ex-boyfriend, pretending that he was interested in what she was trying to make her life out to be.

“It’s been a while since I’ve actually heard live music, you know?” The pilot encounters, spreading his legs and letting the glass lull in between his thighs. “I don’t think I even remember what a guitar sounds like in person.”

“You’re missing out on life, then.” She responds, though she quirks an eyebrow in the process. “Though that’s detectable on the fact that you’re drinking whatever New York housewives drink in a place that seethes sweat and whiskey.”

He chuckles, the tips of his ears growing red, the few strands of his hair that still hold onto the gel that he had applied probably earlier on the day moved by the action of his hands. “You’re calling me a weak drinker?”

“Rather different, I’d say.”

“Is that bad?”

“Not really. Tired of seeing the same things around here.” She comments, biting on that side of her lip that had been scalded by the coffee that she had earlier this morning and perhaps, it’s a bit swollen, because he looks down at her mouth and smiles wider. Trouble, she says. “Though a pilot like you has probably seen plenty of things. Had the greatest of drinks, too.”

“I’ve seen enough of the world to know that it’s both pretty and so…dark, too.” He shrugs, wetting his lips with his margarita. “The nature that I see will die someday, and the skies are so tall that I can’t reach them even when I’m close. That’s deep, now that I say it, but it must be the alcohol getting to the little brain cells I have left.”

She laughs at his antics, licking her lips and thinking a bit about it. If life was so ugly, and so short at the same time, why did we pursue it as if it lasted forever? Why did pain haunt us so badly, starting with heartbreak, if it was only…a matter of time before we disappeared with it?

“I like that. As dark as it is, it’s real.” She continues plucking on the strings, jutting her chin forward. “I imagine you’ve heard better musicians, but I can play any song you can think of.”

“No way.” He counterparts, only to have her sighing.

“Never doubt a woman from this side of town. What I tell you is the absolute truth.” And yet, no one has ever taken her seriously. Those four walls that consist of the cramped town at the seashore of the beach are starting to get too cramped, and this new addition may be just what she needed.

“Photograph by Ed Sheeran?”

“Too easy.”

“I may be a little of a cliché.”

“Unimaginable.” She rolls her eyes, letting a small giggle out. “Who am I dedicating it to? Any wife back home that you miss?”

He shakes his head, pressing a hand to his cheek and looking at her with a lulled look in his eyes, as if extremely in peace with the place he finds himself in. “To Jeonghan.”

“Oh, a husband?”

“Damn no.” The pilot excuses. “It’s my name. I’ve never had a song dedicated to me.”

“Pure lies.” Though she starts playing the tune of the song, only for the two of them to be heard, as if those two connected pair of eyes create an island that only them can visit and travel through.

“I’m not a liar.”

“What man isn’t?”

“You’d be surprised.” Jeonghan licks his lips, painted in the sweetest red shape, chapped because of the cold, and she lets herself be taken by the music, seeing him take small sips of his drink and hum along to the tune.

He asks for one more song.

Then another one.

Finally, another.

Hours spent singing in between the two, sharing drinks, smiles, eyesights that could be confused with anything and everything. It feels nice to be looked at, cherished in a way, treated as though she is special. How easy it is to forget in these positions that at a first instance, we show the best of us. Attraction makes us act in such a way as human beings, but Jeonghan, for that night, seems truthful.

A flower begins to bloom then.

Brown. So brown she could drown, with speckles of stars that gleam and mirror the sight of her, with her hair a mess and scattered on the hotel pillow on the second day of his stance. She’s not naked, god forbid that she is, but she could very-well be by the way he looks at her, with pupils dilated and his smiles mixing with little kisses shared in between sighs and calls of her name.

She had only fallen for brown eyes. The significance of them is rather interesting, if she remembers what Grandma Lore used to say back when she worked at a little music shop. The old woman had passed away four years ago, but her stories had stayed with the town. She said that eyes, in ancient times, were the meaning of a person’s soul in their past life. Those who got their heart broken plenty of times had darker eyes, while lighter eyes were saved for first-love owners and heartbreakers themselves. Quite believable, granted that Grandma Lore’s ex-husband had light blue eyes and had left her and their four daughters alone for a one-night stand.

Brown eyes meant trouble when they were accompanied by a rough voice, but she can’t think. Not when she feels herself being kissed this way. She’s used to the impatience, the short kisses, the ‘it’s better not to leave this behind’ kiss that promises that everything will be alright, but there’s no excitement within them. She knows how she got here, with a little booze on their system and the rays of sunshine that slip through the cracks of the window of his hotel room giving them another day to fuck things up with feelings. Feelings that come with touch.

Jeonghan is exciting to look at, but even when she looks at him, bruises his lips in little kisses and intakes of breaths when she feels him trail down to her neck before going up to her cheeks again, never getting too far, she knows that he’s not him. He’s not that ex that she looks forward to meeting every single day, the man that is so close, somewhere in these dull streets and yet, somehow so far away.

It feels like cheating, but then she looks at the phone that she laid on the bedside table, she hears Jeonghan calling her name and then, it feels like loneliness. This man doesn’t know her, and the man who does isn’t interested enough to call her again, so she presses a hand to his chest, her other palm resting on his nape and turning them around until her thighs look for leverage on his slim waist, undoing two buttons of his shirt and splaying her freezing fingertips on the warm skin.

“Tell me you think I’m beautiful.” The plea sounds pathetic, but it’s been a while since she has heard it. She can only imagine that his eyes mirror his own, vacant of feelings, thrilled and excited by a new face, but not feeling anything else. Though, it is gorgeous when he rests a hand on her back and replies in a lingering breath:

“I’d be blind if I didn’t think you’re absolutely gorgeous.” Jeonghan says those words like he means it and she relishes on them. On being gorgeous, accepted, craved for and thirsted after. She feels like a ray of sunshine, not the lukewarm moonlight that she had been painted as the past few years.

With more fervor, she clings onto the collar of his shirt. “I’m sorry.”

“We don’t have to keep doing anything if you don’t want to.” Jeonghan retorts. “We can go anywhere you want. A few more kisses, or no kisses at all. I’m okay with anything.”

She blinks back possible tears, masking it with a tender kiss to his lips. How nice it would be to have someone that looked for her, that seeked that delicate touch in the middle of the night when nightmares of losing her were taking over his sleep. But Jeonghan is not that, just a nice card to play pretend with, and she feels bad for even thinking that way.

Picking the bottle of wine up, stolen from the bar in Dorothy street, she takes a sip of it before chuckling softly. At herself, really. “I’m okay with kissing, is that okay with you?”

“More than perfect for me.” Though, Jeonghan licks his lips, tracing her own with his thumb and then, opening her mouth slightly. “When was the last time someone called you beautiful?”

“Huh?”

“You seemed relieved to hear it when I told you just a few minutes ago.”

She can’t hide it from him and perhaps, that’s why Jeonghan flies planes. He’s so ahead and above every other man that it’s surprising. “It’s been a few months.”

“I understand.” Jeonghan grabs the back of her neck, pulling her closer to tug at her bottom lip before marking it with a chaste kiss. “I’ve seen the stars from up close and they can’t compare to you.”

It’s a lie. Of course, she knows it’s a goddamned lie, but it sounds so good. Jeonghan is a midnight getaway, the reason why she feels at ease in his arms, letting herself be embraced, touched, caressed. He doesn’t know that her pupils darken not because of him, but because she wants him to look through them and know that her heart is begging not to be broken again.

Brown eyes, maybe Jeonghan had been broken, too.

Haven’t we all?

Jeonghan knows he only has forty-eight more hours in this place and yet, he wakes up a little earlier than expected today just to go buy fucking flowers. Yes, he’s surprised himself. He hasn’t ever bought flowers, not even for his place back at home because he rarely stays there, but it seems like the right thing to do today.

The whispers of the wind touch his ears and remind him that he should’ve gotten a thicker coat to go outside, but after he dropped her off at her place yesterday when it was a little too late in the morning, and yet not foreseeable with how dark these skies are in this town, he knew precisely where to get her. Seated in her front porch, on a rusty chair that shrieks whenever she pulls herself forwards and backwards, with her guitar in her lap, a coffee cup on the side that has lost its steam and a notebook that she barely touches.

Her hair is a mess, but he waits for the moment when she has to refill her cup to get out of the old car that he rented just because he wanted to feel like he had some control while staying where the Devil forgot to visit. She gets up, extending her arms and giving a glimpse of the waist he dared touch yesterday, curves of sin that would never be his, covered in a plaid shirt soon after when she slips back home.

He places the bouquet on top of her guitar, ripping a paper from the notebook and grabbing her a-little-too-short pencil before jotting down a few words that he barely thinks about. Jeonghan knows that they are an impossibility, that even if he stayed in this town, the rooted insecurity that grows from within her speaks of a heart that has been tainted by too much hope and too little results, but he still writes it. Because that’s what cowards don’t do; try even when there are no outcomes to be expected.

He rushes back to his car, though he’s certain he hears her calling out his name in a shout while rushing to the automobile. He sits there, smiling at her through the dirty mirror only to see her quirk a hand up that accompanies a wave of her eyebrows. Then, he juts his chin forward, pointing to the obvious until she sees it. The bouquet, which she seems too scared to hold as her hands hover into nothingness.

Maybe, this town was too small to see how big her smile could get, or she had never been one to make the right choices. Perhaps, that’s why a talent like hers goes undiscovered. Because she never took the time to listen to anything more than the deafening silence that welcomes a place that doesn’t know about talent. She grabs the flowers in between her hold, looking at them with what he thinks is a lonesome tear grabbing onto her bottom eyelashes not to drop. Soon after, she’s grabbing the note and looking at him with a crooked smile on her face.

It reads, “A shooting star told me they were envious of how pretty you look today. XOXO, Han.”

She grabs her notebook soon after, scribbling onto a page and then, turning the image towards him. He reads quickly, after pressing his face to the steering wheel to hide the blossoming cheeks from both embarrassment and a little bit of cold.

In enormous letters that are not as pretty as her smile, she responds: “Watch them with me tonight, then.”

He raises both thumbs in the air, though she crooks her arm to call him towards her. The car suddenly becomes less interesting as he moves over to where she is, every step falling on crumbling leaves that try to stop him but he can’t. He wraps his arms around her waist, just like how he learned that drives her crazy, and he kisses her. Because not knowing each other is what makes this easier. Knowing that there won’t be a fight that will ruin it all or a ceiling that unites them both with the strings of their hearts, makes a kiss so much easier. Lighter. Better than anything he has ever had.

“You like coffee, I imagine.” She prompts, only to have him nodding.

“I prefer breakfast with it, though.”

“You’re not pretty enough to start ordering me around, you know that Jeonghan, right?”

“A man can always try.” He prompts, though he presses a lonesome index finger to her ribcage before tickling there. That smile could heal hearts and stop wars if she damn so wanted to. “I will help you make breakfast, because judging by your face I imagine that you haven’t eaten much.”

“You’re not wrong.”

She plucks a rose away from the bouquet, twirling it in her fingers before placing it on top of his ear. She moves his black hair away from a moment, fixing it until it stayed still before smiling softly at him.

“Would you believe me if I told you I’ve never gotten flowers?”

Yes, he wants to tell her. The bleeding parts of her soul tell him so. “It’s a shame you haven’t.”

“Well, there’s always a first time.”

And a last with him, too.

A woman in love has such a recognizable face. It’s one of those features that Jeonghan will never forget. Not when seated on a picnic cloth under the moonlight, near the beach-shore that he had avoided at all costs. Not a lot of people are around, but a bonfire nearby had been enough to take her attention away from him and pull away from the hold he had around her shoulder.

Vacant, but he felt the paddering of her chest. He could have heard it, too, but her void glance still looked toward the man sitting by the bonfire, with a beer in his hand and a palm through his hair. He’s seated in between two women, not too close, not too far away, but he watches her mouth tense when she sees them. At first, she brings her knees up to her chest, then she unravels them and spreads them behind her. She does this various times, not finding comfort. Not in him, not in the man she’s clearly in love with, not in herself.

He looks fickle. Small, skinny, with a wide smile and somehow, that easy-going personality that he knows is eating her alive. He turns her back to her, this stranger, that is, and that kills her. She’s not up her feet, but watching far away instead, blinking softly before looking down and smiling at herself. A smile so big and beautiful that Jeonghan knows it’s an absolute lie.

“I’ll tell you something,” Jeonghan professes, rubbing the tip of his nose and then, blowing a sigh into the dense air. “I’ve loved kissing you from the moment you granted me permission the first time. It’s nice, you know, we both know that we can’t promise each other much…but every time you get closer to me, it feels like you are feverish to get rid of her thoughts. Like you are a second away from moaning someone else’s name against my mouth.”

Those idle eyes widen like the moon in its fullest form, and he really looks at her for longer than he should. Such a beautiful woman should not be suffering from a man that is too busy ignoring her. “I’m sorry. Gosh, Jeonghan, that must feel awful.”

It does, but also: “It doesn’t.”

“I…We broke up a few days before you came here. I…It’s difficult, you know?” She questions herself, licking her lips and then, looking up at those stars in which she belongs. “This town is so small that I expect to see him at every second and a small portion of me wishes that when his gaze lays on me, Jeonghan, he just…thinks about what he missed out on. That he remembers how small he made me feel and suddenly compares the woman he made me to whom I used to be and just weeps on wanting me back.”

She stops then, looking at him with a foreseeable shame before she whispers.

“And it’s awful. God, I feel pathetic just telling you how I want him to crave for me, but I spent months just wanting him to look at me. Getting ready. Applying that lipstick shade I know he likes. Spreading a perfume that gave me a headache just ‘cause I wanted to be remembered.”

“Men don’t work like that.” Jeonghan responds. “I don’t think anyone does, really. The more you crave for someone, the less the universe gives them to you. Because humans are polar opposites, not manifestation tactics.”

She scoffs. “Oh, trust me, I know. It’s just the stupid part of me that wants a reaction, because he couldn’t even give me that.”

His hand spreads on her waist, kissing her temple and at that moment, he feels her shake. Because that’s what had been done to her. Tainted, broken, left behind, scared of being touched in a way that feels utterly romantic or safe. “I’d give you everything in the few hours we have left.”

She chuckles. “I hate lies, Jeonghan. I’ve been told too many of those.”

“I’m not lying to you. We can be everything in so little and then, be nothing at all for each other. It’s the feelings you hold, even if it’s just for a second.”

“It’s easier for you to let go,” She assumes, as he has learned she does often. “You’re on a plane, away from this stupid town, looking ahead of everybody. Making stops, just living…”

“Living, leaving, sounds about the same but it hurts just as much. Do you think I enjoy knowing that at the end of the day I have nobody? Because everywhere I go there are hundreds of people I meet, but they are just hundreds of more people that don’t give a shit about who I am, who I will be or else.”

“That’s a way to put it.” Her hand spreads across his cheek, sighing. “These hours we have left may feel like a lifetime if we let it.”

“Not really. I feel like they’ve passed by rather quickly, if you ask me.”

“The best moments pass like that.”

But he’ll never be him, and for some reason, he’s okay with it. His lips spread across her own, hearing a few voices from afar, but he doesn’t care when he pulls away and he sees her with her eyes closed yet, as if relishing on it. Trying her hardest to forget. Only a few more hours left and he won’t see this face again.

Another kiss will do to remember her taste.

Four years later.

Moving around should feel like a task. It is, actually. She crosses and uncrosses her legs, looking at the notebook in her lap and questioning the lyrics she wrote for the demo that the agent had been interested in. Her flight to New York feels a little eternal, if she’s certain, and it gives space to her mind to start thinking about how horrid the lyrics were. Talking about drunk goodbyes and an ex-boyfriend that is sadly most of the meaning behind her songs.

The plane-ride feels eternal, as well, and so much different from the gray skies that she is used to seeing. She moves her feet, swinging them as if she’s a child waiting for lunch, licking at the inside of her cheek and closing her notebook. Alright, it should be good enough. Now, the only thing she can think about is going to the bathroom.

The stripes of her gray and white sweater twirl with every heavy step she gives, as if she doesn’t really want to move forward in life. The future is as scary as a movie can get, and she’s not ready for her to notice that it’s an inherent reality. She ignores the people around her; the snores and the soft music, pushing the curtains away and coming face to face with the bathroom, only for her to get a glimpse of the pilot.

Through the numerous buttons and mirrors on the board, she can see the reflection of a man she knows a little, not well enough, but a reminder nonetheless. The strands of black hair she had held onto when kissing him are much shorter, covered by the hat from his uniform. His coat lays on the backrest of his chair, speaking softly with the older man by his side.

Yoon Jeonghan.

Or how he liked to have her calling him: Han.

The first thing she does is open the door to the bathroom and lock herself up as if she just saw a monster itself. Truth be told, coming face to face with glimpses of her past is a little embarrassing, no matter how long or short the stories were. It’s something that most people should feel. How does one react when a person has caressed every crevice of your mouth with their tongue? It’s a little personal, if she does say so herself.

But then comes the warmth that came with him. She wouldn’t want to say that she has healed completely, lacking trust in herself and others, but Jeonghan holds that kind of power with him. He feels like the world has stopped and she has no need to run away. He’s a bird in the air, flying aimlessly, just holding onto the thread of knowing everything will be alright at the end. Not letting sadness or loneliness stop him.

Hence, after peeing she starts thinking of the million ways she could make a fool of herself. She could greet him once the plane arrived with a kiss, and he could move away. She could say ‘hello’ and he would be unable to recognize her. God, does he even remember her? Does he know that she keeps the flowers that he gave her trapped in between the pages of the lyric notebook she completed years ago and she sees it every December 16th to remember when she met him?

The flight comes to an end and she rushes out of it as purpose overflows her. Perhaps, her perseverance is both her greatest and worst personality trait. She goes to the airport with her hair done a mess, hunting for flowers until she finds some faux ones, returning to the plane at the same time that the captains were getting off board.

Then, he comes face to face with her. High cheekbones, rosy lips, and cheeks that are not as red as how they were in the cold December nights they spent together. It would have been great if Jeonghan was the one to break her heart, because something tells her that he wouldn’t have. Perhaps, the matinee of their relationship would have ended in the two of them just growing apart, but great friends nonetheless. He wouldn’t make her feel as if she was unworthy of love.

“Han.” She breathes out the nickname and Jeonghan raises his eyebrows. He’s surprised to see the bouquet of roses in her hold, and how she gives it to him with her eyes half-closed. “Long time no see.”

“Indeed.” Though he does smile like he did at those times, as if he had never changed, even four years later. He looks different in a better lighting, even more beautiful than she remembers, but when she looks at how his long digits wrap around the bouquet of flowers, something catches her attention.

Diamonds are promises, she had once heard someone say, and while Jeonghan’s band doesn’t have pearls or diamonds, it’s such a pretty gold that it steals her breath away. He’s engaged. Yoon Jeonghan has found love even when high in the air.

“I’m surprised you’re here in New York. Wouldn’t take you for much a traveller.”

He had moved on, and somehow, she’s not bitter about it. She’s angered that she hadn’t been brave enough to get on a plane and say ‘fuck it’, perhaps being the one that moved on herself. She nods.

“I have this small opportunity of recording an album after sending some demos out. Gotta sing for an agent in a record label and see where that leads.”

“Damn!” Jeonghan expresses, laying the bouquet of flowers on one of his arms like a baby before wrapping his arm around her shoulders and smiling against her hair. “I can’t wait for the moment I hear your songs on the radio.”

“Yes.” She answers, pulling away from him and grabbing his hand to trace the ring. “I could write something for your wedding when it happens. Doesn’t look much like a wedding ring just yet.”

Jeonghan cackles, looking down at his hand and smiling gleefully. A fool in love, he had turned out to be, and what a beauty it is to see that he had found someone that was willing to fly oceans and skies just to see him.

“That’d be awesome. I’d dance the shit out of that song.”

But not with her.

It’s never with her, isn’t it?

So with a curt nod and a smile, she lets go of his hand. As it should. “I’ll keep it in mind. I’ll go grab my luggage before someone steals it, okay? It was nice seeing you, Han.”

“Nice seeing you, too.”

Two years later.

With a bottle of champagne propped to her lips and a crowd of cheering fans waiting for her outside at the avenue she will be playing in, she feels a lot lonelier than she should. There is still a man that doesn’t look her way seated a few feet away, trapped in his phone and taking pictures of the enormous gifts she had received from people all around the globe that can’t stop listening to her songs and falling in love with whom they think she is.

She’s ready to get on stage, her guitar oiled up and her gears still turning after boozing herself up the slightest, but even with so much love around her, she knows her wounds still haven’t healed. No one looks her in the eyes, neither do they touch the portions of her heart that feel the loneliest. She’s gorgeous to the people around her, cladded in dresses much too expensive and makeup that makes her look like anyone but herself. Everyone wants to be her friend, her lover, they are discreetly envious of the relationship she has had in the past two months and how the newest it model is in love with her now.

And yet, every bouquet of flower that she receives just withers. Dies willingly, as if to express just that detail is timely, and there is nothing that she hates more than how short ‘forever’ truly is. She will lose all of this someday, and the fear of that thought alone has her standing up and grabbing her guitar, foregoing the bottle of champagne and moving away from backstage to get to talk through her songs.

Though, she stops by the door, turning around and pressing a hand to her waist. It’s Valentine’s Day and Hyuk, her boyfriend, hasn’t looked her way for more minutes than the ones they spent doing it in the bathroom. That’s what she is, just another body for people to look at.

“Did you get me anything?”

The question is a bit superficial, she knows it, but maybe the answer would be something more than empty kisses and posed pictures. It could be a letter from the bottom of his heart or a comparison to the stars.

Hyuk lifts his squared chin, shaking his heart as a laugh racks his body. “We have more than enough for us to celebrate with thanks to your fans.”

“But what about you?”

“Sorry baby.” Though the apology is as empty as it can get. “Maybe, some other time I can think of something to give you?”

Maybe, it’s a pattern in her. It could be her fault, for all she knows, that she always picks the wrong men. Or it could be the universe that never gave her the chance to meet a good man for more than a few days. People passing by, faces to be forgotten, and a heart that will never be mended all partake in the same voice as she gets on stage and sings her heart out.

The crowd goes crazy. She smiles. And it’s all a fucking lie.

Seven months later.

Jess looks gorgeous in the morning, and Jeonghan doesn’t get to see that sight often, with his back pressed to the counter as he sees her wear that same summer dress that she had thrown over her body on their first date. Her recently dyed red hair falls over her shoulders in messy waves, lips dry and barely painted in a bit of pink as she cuts off the old flowers that had grown in their garden.

“I don’t like that you cut the flowers.”

“They’re already dying, babe, and they will only stay as weeds.” She replies, dirtying her knees with sweat pooling at her forehead. Though, the pair of garden scissors she is using glides on the root of the rose she had been cutting, smiling at him with her plump lips. “You’re a little too fond of flowers.”

Jeonghan shrugs. “Dad always gave them to my mom on their anniversaries and she never paid much attention. I liked taking care of them before they rotted.”

Jess stands up at that moment, getting closer to him with a bouquet of dead flowers in between her fingers. She gets closer to him, looking straight into his eyes, for she’s a bit taller than him, before she takes one of the flowers from the bouquet.

“Reason as to why you always give me flowers.”

“Indeed. You wear them in your dresses often enough for me to know that you love them.”

His wife chuckles at those words, slipping a flower over his ear and giving him shivers all around his arms and back. It’s like he is thrown back to that haunted town near the beach, when a woman that deserved more love than she got slipped a flower into his hair and looked at him as if he was the most gorgeous person in this world. Perhaps, for that moment alone, he was.

“And yet, you’ve never gotten a bouquet of flowers yourself. I may start to think about giving them to you as a gift.”

He doesn’t tell her that he has, wrapping an arm around her waist and hiding his face on her neck. He smells her scent, just like flowers, and yet, his mind goes back to the bouquet he had gotten. To this day, he brings one of those fake flowers with him on the plane, just to know that flowers willingly die each day.

But some are memories that never leave us.

She never leaves him. Not in her songs, and not in the flowers.

playlist: prickled - mino ft taehyun. ojos marrones - lasso. august - taylor swift. older - 5sos ft sierra deaton. can i be him? - james arthur. back to december - taylor swift. hello tutorial - zion.t ft seulgi. the one - taylor swift. boyfriends - harry styles. love of my life - queen. glimpse of us - joji.

#jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen #kpop scenarios #writing #seventeen au #jeonghan au #jeonghan angst #seventeen angst #pilot!au #slice of life #guitarist!au

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roseharpermaxwell · 4 months

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RWRB FirstPrince Parental Angst Recs

Ellen and Oscar's divorce, the loss of Arthur - my faves below are for when you need some angst.

sometimes when he looks at me (i know that he needs you) by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays. NR, 1k. A letter left by Arthur Fox before his passing, addressed only to “Whoever takes care of Henry after I am gone.”

the moment i knew by @coffeecatsme. G, 1.9k. “No.” Alex’s response is shaky but quick. “I’m not blowing the candle without her.” He feels the pitiful look of his dad at the back of his neck but he doesn’t look up. If he moves at all, the spell will be broken, and Alex won’t be that kid crying at his birthday because his mom didn’t show up.

Or, 5 times people he loves leave Alex alone on his birthday, and 1 time one doesn't.

bright, beautiful, bold by rizcriz. T, 2.2k. All these years, Henry’s sat in regret.

And his father.

He knew.

He drags in another shuddering breath, aching and wet and filled with something soft that he can’t quite place—something that eases that heavy burden on his chest. Something that unfurls from his gut and tugs on it, as it were held there by a string, and that string is currently fraying. As if every breath brings with it some semblance of relief.

Or, Arthur wrote Henry a letter for his wedding day.

Please Don’t Leave Me Alone by beckettbucket. G, 2.3k. When Henry and Alex have their first ever fight as a married couple Alex can’t help but spiral, thinking of his own parents and the fighting that led to their eventual divorce.

I've carried this song in my mind by @kiwiana-writes. T, 2.5k. Henry lays eyes on Alex Claremont-Diaz for the first time in Rio, and it sends such a shockwave of longing and terror into the universe that Arthur feels it.

Or, five times Arthur tries to get Alex and Henry together from beyond the grave, and one time two times his intervention isn’t needed.

eyes full of stars by Standinginmoonlight. G, 4.3k. On his seventh birthday, Arthur teaches Henry how to look for Orion.

Or: Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor loses his father and spends the rest of his life looking for Orion.

Fragile and Composed by SatinBirds. T, 4.8k. If Alex and Henry had met before Arthur Fox died, would that have changed anything?

Never Truly Leave by @clottedcreamfudge. T, 5.3k. "We found something in Arthur's things," Catherine says, without any preamble. "I've never really... gone through his personal effects properly, until now. It's been rather too difficult for me to face." Alex nods.

"I found something for Henry, but it's... Well, it's actually for you."

Alex blinks at her.

never be so polite (you forget your power) by Standinginmoonlight. M, 6.3k. The one where Arthur Fox leaves letters for his children.

i see you (your whole heart) by @indomitable-love. T, 7.3k. ‘I think he’s excellent,’ Arthur says, picking up a knife from the pot of jam to spread over his toast. ‘It’s refreshing to see someone be so unapologetically themselves. I think we need more of that.’ He glances at Henry. ‘I think that everybody should be able to be exactly who they are, without shame.’

---

Five times Arthur tried to tell Henry he knew (and one time Henry told him).

(if I didn't know better) I'd think you were listening to me now by @theprinceandagcd. T, 7.9k. “What are we supposed to say?” he finally rasps, and Bea leans toward him until she can rest her head upon his shoulder.

“I think…” Her breath trembles. “I quite think he would like to hear about our lives and what we’ve been doing.” ---- Over the years, Henry visits his father's grave to tell him about what's going on in his life, from meeting devastatingly handsome Americans at the Olympics to taking his daughters to meet him and everything in-between.

Count to Ten & Breathe Real Deep by @sparklepocalypse. E, 8.1k. Someone clears their throat behind him, and he spins around, hands still gripping the hem of his shirt. “Sorry, hi, I – shit,” he stammers as he takes in Princess Beatrice’s friendly expression and her brother’s more taciturn one. “Sorry, shit. God, sorry. Uh, hello, um… Your, uh, Maj—”

“It’s Your Royal Highness, but please, no titles here,” Princess Beatrice graciously says, saving Alex from himself. “Call me Bea. It looks like we’re teammates! Hen, too.” She nudges her elbow into her brother’s ribs, and he nods wordlessly.

Alex tries to replicate his mom’s politician smile as well as he can. “It’s an honor,” he says, giving them the little bow drilled into his brain before he and his mom had departed for London, through repetitive How to avoid being deported by the English monarchy lessons. “I’m Alex Claremont-Diaz.”

(Or, Alex and Henry meet at a youth charity event as teens.)

5 Times Henry Hated New Year's + 1 Time He Didn't by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf. M, 9.1k. “This is my curse,” Henry mutters, and Pez laughs across from him.

“You can hardly be responsible for the weather.”

“So the glaring fact that every single New Year’s Eve on record in my life has been an utter disaster means absolutely nothing to you?”

“We’re going to make it, so no, it means nothing to me,” Pez says with cheerful optimism despite the constant fluttering of white beyond the plane windows.

5 times throughout his life that Henry's New Year's countdown has been ruined, and 1 time that it isn't.

matchmaking from beyond the grave: a guide by arthur fox by softcinnamonroll. T, 12k. Funnily enough, Alex actually liked his quirky little gift. When he could, he used it to help the spirits who asked for his help, to complete their unfinished business and move on. Most of the time, it’s for spirits who never got to do something random like… go to a bar or something stupid like that. Nothing too serious or demanding of Alex’s time.

Until he met Arthur Fox.

[or; Alex can see the dead. Enter Arthur Fox who really thinks Alex should meet his son, Henry.]

God Save the Blessed American President Mom by @zipadeea. T, 31k. ["June stopped by at lunch; she showed me a delightful channel called Hallmark, which repeats the same story every hour after they swap one round of white, straight, small-town conventionally beautiful actors for another. It was entertaining.”

“June and I used to play a drinking game with those. Take a shot every time someone goes ice skating, sledding, or leaves the big city for their tiny hometown.”

“Good lord, you must’ve been sloshed in the first ten minutes.”]

***

On December 4, 2021, an attempt is made on President Ellen Claremont's life.

Alex gets shot instead.

The Cost of Anything by clottedcreamfudge. E, 50k. "You’d give anything to have him back, wouldn’t you?”

“That can’t be a surprise,” Henry says ruefully, trying to pull himself from the brink of something a little darker than maudlin. Perhaps he should switch to water after all.

“‘Anything’ can encompass rather a lot,” Taylor says reasonably, and Henry sighs deeply, pulling his drink a little closer to him on top of the bar.

“Yes,” he agrees, “and yet.”

“And yet.”

Henry misses his father; of course he does. He'll always miss his father, because that's what you do when someone you love leaves you. He's grown accustomed to the feeling of missing Arthur Fox and, while he'd give anything to bring him back, it's possible he hadn't considered the implications of such a vague thought.

After all, it's never going to happen.

I only tag an author once per post, but I'm still figuring out firstprince author handles. If you see one I may not know or find a broken link, please give me a heads up!

Master List of RWRB FirstPrince Recs

Master List of Recommendations

#firstprince #rwrb fic recs #rwrb #alex x henry #red white & royal blue

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chiffiorra · 1 year

Text

╰┈➤ Leave Scars

➜ Synopsis: Sure you left his life more than a decade ago, but he'd never forget one of the few people who cared about him.

➜ Pairings: Platonic!Haruchiyo Sanzu x fem!reader, minor Takeomi Akashi x reader

➜ This Fic Contains the Following: Manga spoilers, Sanzu's POV for the most part, reader is Takeomi's ex, reader is also a better sibling to Sanzu than Takeomi lmao, minor blood and gore (it's Sanzu c'mon now)

➜ WC: 3,345

➜ Note: woah, this is my longest fic so far. listen he may not be one of my faves, but sanzu deserves so much better even if he has to go through some pain ok? :') the jumps to advance the story may seem weird so apologies. this is also my first time writing for him, i hope i did him justice in a way <3

➜ Songs as Inspiration: Static X - All These Years, The Birthday Massacre - Forever, Epica - Storm The Sorrow

➜ Also Posted on Ao3: here

You met Takeomi Akashi during your first year in high school. Even then, he was fairly known for being a troublemaking delinquent. Granted, he wasn't as well known as his friend Shinichiro Sano, but his name was still enough to put fear into people's hearts.

And yet, you caught his attention somehow. You, the type who minded her business and never was the one to pay attention to drama nor listen to any rumors, had him fall for you. Luckily for him you felt the same and it was enough for him to nab you before Shinichiro even had the chance to ask you out.

Sanzu could remember like it was yesterday when Takeomi brought you over to see his place and introduce you to him and Senju. By then, it had been a year since you and his brother dated.

After nagging Takeomi for so long on meeting his family, he finally caved in and took you to meet them. When you stepped in, you were not expecting to already come across the two younger siblings he told you about countless times. Both of the children were sitting in the living room staring up at you curiously, having paused their playtime.

"Oh!" You exclaimed in surprise. "Are these your siblings?" You asked. You were surprised that they were supposedly not twins as Takeomi said, they looked very similar to each other.

"Yep. This is Haruchiyo, and this is Senju," Takeomi answered, pointing at the boy and girl respectively.

Haruchiyo and Senju still stared at you quietly as you knelt down to their level and introduced yourself to them.

"I'm your brother's girlfriend," you added, smiling. They didn't seem to react to that at all, besides blinking at you.

"Don't worry, they'll get used to you eventually. In fact, why don't we start getting to that right now?" Takeomi said, ruffling your hair. "I gotta go attend a Black Dragons meeting, and you, my sweet beautiful girlfriend, are on babysitting duty!"

Your jaw dropped in shock, the audacity of this man astounded you. "Takeomi, are you kidding me?! Your brother and sister don't know me, why do you think it's a good idea to leave them alone with someone who is a stranger to them?" You exclaimed, standing back up to your feet.

He laughed as he ran out the door and hopped onto his motorcycle before you could even chase after him.

You sighed, running a hand down your face. You couldn't believe that he thought that this was a good idea. As you looked down at the pinkettes, they were also up on their feet, still looking up at you.

. . .

When he came back home, Takeomi did not expect to see both of his siblings sleeping in your arms while the TV still aired some children's show in the background, the TV being the only lighting in the otherwise dark room.

He found you leaning back against the couch, holding both Haruchiyo and Senju's sleeping forms close to you. Haruchiyo was on your left side, his head right up against your heart as he slept, light snoring could be heard from him. Senju was on your right, her hand clinging tightly to your shirt even while she dreamed away.

You were close to sleeping as well, now wide awake as your boyfriend came back. As he watched the scene with confusion, you smiled sheepishly in return.

"I didn't want to wake them up. It all started with them sitting in my lap and they grew tired," you explained.

Takeomi rolled his eyes but he was not frowning. In fact he was happy, happy that his siblings had taken a liking to you already. He smiled as he grabbed the polaroid camera and took a few photographs of you smiling while cuddling his sleeping siblings.

This was just the beginning of his brother and sister seeing you as the big sister they never had. And it sure would bite him back in the ass later on when Haruchiyo and Senju would soon prefer you over him weeks later.

Takeomi rubbed the sides of his forehead and sighed as he watched the scene in front of him. He could feel a headache coming. One sibling was hugging onto one side of you while the other did the same to the other side. Both siblings frowned up at their older brother.

"Haruchiyo, Senju, she has to go home. She can't stay here forever," Takeomi said, exasperated.

"Yes, she can." "Why not?" Both said at the same time. He could sigh again and shook his head as you laughed and ruffled their foreheads.

"I'll come back tomorrow, okay? Don't worry!" You reassured them as they only hugged you tighter in response. Takeomi was just very appalled at what was going on in front of him.

As the two got to know you more, they only grew to love you more than words could ever describe, especially Haruchiyo. He loved it when you would let him greet you with a hug, and he loved it when you would let him or Senju interrupt your time with Takeomi. Like interrupting your makeout sessions with him by squeezing between you two and demanding more forehead kisses, even though it was mainly Senju who did that. Or letting him rest his head on your lap during movie nights when he should've been in bed. His brother was never pleased with all the cockblocking both of them did, but he did his best to deal with it.

He especially loved it when you defended him against any complaint that his brother made or any fault that was placed onto him for the littlest things. It was always him, never Senju, who took the blame.

It was always him. Never. Fucking. Senju.

You met Mikey, Emma, and Baji later on and they would soon grow attached to you too, also seeing you as a sibling figure. It was to the point where Mikey once complained to Shinichiro that you always hung out at the Akashi residence, much to the laughter of the latter.

Throughout holidays and birthdays, Haruchiyo naively thought that you would stay in their life forever but unfortunately all good things came to an end.

Three years after you and Takeomi were together, two after meeting him and Senju, the worst happened.

You and Takeomi broke up.

Sure it was a mutual breakup for whatever reason he could care less about even to this day, but the one he cared about, other than Mikey and Baji, left him.

And a week later, he earned his scars and tried to smile and laugh through the pain as ordered to. That was also the day he dropped his old surname "Akashi" and decided to go by "Sanzu" instead. Sometimes the memory of that day still made his skin crawl, but he would never admit it to anyone.

A lot proceeded to happen over the years as well, sometimes it felt like time was passing by way too fast for Sanzu's eyes. Shinichiro passed on, Baji passed on, he followed Mucho to Tenjiku only to repay him for his treachery in the worst way possible later on, Emma passed on, so much had happened that it was sometimes difficult to keep track of.

After so many years of being Mikey's right hand man, he followed his king down into a much darker path that he should've turned back from a long time ago but refused to do so.

Which led him to his current position now: Number Two of Bonten, the Loyal Mad Dog. No subordinate dared to mess with him nor make him angry. Unless they were the Haitani brothers, now those two usually found a way to get under his skin without fear.

As years went by since Bonten's formation, Sanzu had made quite a name for himself amongst the crime underground and people often shook in fear at the sight of him, which pleased him. He wanted people to fear him as much as they would of Mikey; if he were to kill, he'd rather be the last face they saw as they drew their last breath. This of course had happened many times, mind you, but he never got tired of it.

One day would put his usual routine to a halt though thanks to a discovery he made.

It all started on a dull morning: wake up, get dressed, arrive to work, walk past the others with a grunt as a greeting, and head to his office. As he passed Takeomi's office, he saw something on the ground right in front of the door. The door was closed, which meant that the latter was out or was in his office and dropped it.

As Sanzu leaned down to get a closer look, it was a small photograph. As he picked it up and flipped it to the other side, his heart dropped.

It wasn't just any picture, no; it was a picture of you, him, and Senju! From the first day you met and babysat them, they had fallen asleep on you after a long day of playtime and getting to know each other.

Sanzu held his breath as he got up and ran his fingers over the photo, he hadn't seen this one in forever. But yet, it was nice to see that shithead kept a nice memory and never forgot about you, because the former certainly didn't.

What are you up to nowadays? Were you still living around the area? Did you meet someone new?

Were you still alive?

He didn't want to think about the last question too much. As he hurried to his office, he had to find any info about you to see if you were still okay after all these years. He just had to know if one of the very few people he cared about in the world was doing well.

Unfortunately, he never had time to do so during the day so since his schedule was filled with running errands plus the Haitanis doing their daily dose of annoying him to the core. While he was doing research after almost everyone in the building left, he found out that you were indeed alive, much to his happiness. Sanzu also found out that you were married with two children and lived in a much smaller town and worked in a well paying job.

As he found out more and more about you and catching up on what you've been doing over the years, someone opened the door to his office and barged in.

As Sanzu was about to reach for his gun that was hidden in one of the desk drawers, because how dare someone stride in without knocking like they damn well own the place, he looked up and saw Takeomi. Out of all the others, it had to be his least favorite person. His brother.

Or rather, someone who used to be his brother. He disowned both the older and Senju a long time ago as siblings and considered himself an only child. As the two men stared each other down, Sanzu could only sneer at him.

"The hell are you doing here?" He demanded, still having half the mind to consider whether the gun was worth it or not.

Takeomi only stared down at him, "I know you have it. Give it back," he responded. He held out his hand as he said so.

The right hand man of Bonten's leader could say something else to add fuel to the flame as per usual, but he chose not to. He had a more important task to focus on after all, and he'd prefer if his used-to-be brother wasn't in the same room with him.

While still staring at him dead in the eyes, Sanzu flung the photo back at the advisor of Bonten, hitting the other man square in the chest. Takeomi could only let out a "tsk" as he put said photo in his pocket and walked away.

"She was a better sibling to me than you."

That jab made Takeomi pause in his steps, he had a slightly surprised look on his face though Sanzu could not see it. Shaking his head, he chose to keep walking instead of saying anything back.

'He couldn't handle the truth,' Sanzu mused as he continued writing down everything he learned. He now had all of your information and a fleeting thought in his mind was even telling him to visit you. Problem is…

Would you be horrified with how he turned out over the years? There was only one way he could find out for himself.

. . .

He would get that answer a month later when he finally worked up the courage to pay you a visit. He had your and your spouse's schedules memorized so he knew they wouldn't be home, same with your children. Sure his time was limited for an hour or two, but that was all he needed to catch up.

However, Sanzu still had one obstacle in the way: his scars. To fix that, he did the one thing that he hasn't done since he was a teenager, cover them up with a face mask.

Wearing a black hoodie and sweats to blend in with the crowd, he raised his hand to ring your doorbell and waited patiently for you to answer. He didn't even notice his hands were shaking when he rested one of them against the door. Was he that nervous? That word hasn't been in his vocabulary in years.

Haruchiyo Sanzu was never nervous about anything. So why was he acting this way now? Maybe-

The door opened and he held his breath. There you were, staring back at him curiously and almost in fear as your head peered out.

As you were just about ready to shut the door on his face, he held his hand up to stop you, "Wait. Please hear me out."

The word "please" sounded so strange coming out of his mouth as he rarely ever said it in his lifetime, but that wasn't important right now.

"I- I missed you. I wanted to see you for so long after you left," he said.

You only stared back as confusion completely took over the fear, "What do you mean? Who are you?" You asked.

This was it. Sanzu didn't remove his mask just yet but he did put down the hood, and your eyes widened. The pink hair, the blue eyes, you only knew one person like that. There was no way that it could be-

Then when he quietly reached into his pocket and showed you the photo that he stole from Takeomi again, something finally clicked.

"Haru?" You whispered, slowly opening the door more. Even under the mask, it was really him, the sweet little boy you knew so long ago. You were truly shocked, not expecting such a visit from a blast in the past.

He smiled in response. You couldn't see under the mask, but you could see it in the way his eyes crinkled. Just like when he was younger.

As you wrapped him in a big hug and urged him inside, your mood was now brightened. You began asking how he was doing, and he did his best to answer. Of course, avoiding all of the details about him being in Bonten. There was still a lot of mystery surrounding the gang and its members so perhaps he didn't have to worry too much, unless you were going to poke and prod him for more answers about him.

When you led him inside, he finally got a good look at you entirely. You looked almost exactly the same as you did years ago except more mature. But you were still you, the same woman who had a big heart.

"Haru, I want to ask you… how come you're wearing a mask? Are you hiding something?" You joked, giggling. You didn't realize that you weren't far off from that statement and stopped laughing when you realized he wasn't looking too happy, almost upset with himself.

"You would be disgusted," he responded.

"I would never," you immediately said back, confused as to why he would even insinuate such a thing.

As he stood in the middle of the living room, staring down at his hands, you quietly approached him and placed yours over his. "Haruchiyo, listen to me. I couldn't hate you then, and I couldn't hate you now either. May I see you? Please?" You asked.

What the hell, he could never say no to you even now. With his hands shaking again, he reached for his mask and slowly took it off. As he looked back at you, he saw your horrified look before your hands touched his face gently; covering his scars. He found himself leaning into your touch.

"Oh my- Haru… who did this to you?" You asking the question was even hard to say. You were unable to comprehend who could do such a thing to him.

"It… It was…"

Who did this to him? Should he even answer that? He knew you loved Mikey too so long ago, if he told you, you would definitely hate the latter for what he did that day. It was truly a misfortune that it happened after you broke up with Takeomi, but it was better to not tell the whole truth.

"It doesn't matter anymore. It happened so long ago," he finally said after a few seconds of silence. You looked sad that he chose to avoid the question, but understood as it seemed like a sore topic.

As you ran your thumb over one of the scars, you said something that chilled him, "So you're one of them, huh? There was a leak on the internet that was quickly deleted of a guy that looked similar to you."

He couldn't respond as he froze. Did this mean that you hated him now? No, no, no. He really didn't want you to hate him-

"I have nothing against you. I don't know what happened over the years, but I won't judge and I won't tell no one. You have my word."

"I'm a monster-"

"Stop. Monster or not, no matter what, you will still be my honorary little brother, okay?" You said, smiling.

Your eyes told the whole truth. At this point in his life, Sanzu could tell who was lying or not. You always have to figure out who's truthful or not when it comes to being in the most infamous and dangerous gang in all of Japan.

He couldn't take it anymore.

With that, he fell into your arms and started sobbing as he held you close to him. You didn't hate him, you never hated him, and he was relieved beyond comprehension.

Right now he was not Haruchiyo Sanzu, he was not Bonten's Number Two, he was not the Loyal Mad Dog, he was not the right hand man of Manjiro Sano.

Here he was just Haruchiyo or "Haru", and here he could crave the attention that he and Senju always sought from you when they were little.

He could care less whether anyone else thought of him as a monster, that was what he wanted after all. But with you? Never you. He didn't want you to fear him like many would.

Perhaps, and emphasis on perhaps, this home could be a bit of a small safe space for him. He wouldn't ever tell the others, except maybe Mikey if he asked, you did love Mikey too. But he sure as hell wasn't ever gonna spill anything to Takeomi. In his mind, he could reluctantly thank him for having a small hand in finding you, but like hell he would ever let him find out about him meeting up with you.

Before long, his hour was almost up and it was time for him to go. As you two gave your tearful goodbyes, Sanzu decided:

Yes, this was going to a place for him to get away whenever he needed it.

#candy uploads 🍭#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #haruchiyo sanzu #haruchiyo sanzu and reader #platonic reader

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