#*I* am the one that has to forgive the piece of shit??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

milksnake-tea · 5 months

Text

━━ duty calls.

Created around the same time and having trained with one another, you and Casper have always butted heads. You'd compete over seemingly anything - how many souls one could reap, the days one could go without catching soul sickness, and the list goes on. Casper has always found you to be obnoxious, but when he sees you crying by yourself, he finds himself torn.

grim x gn!reaper!reader

contains: fluff, hurt/comfort, set before the main storyline, reader is NOT the mc, brief mentions of child death, USAGE OF GRIM'S REAL NAME, reader is a little shit

word count: 4.2k

a/n: FORGIVE ME IF THE WORLDBUILDING IS OFF I WAS TRYING MY BEST and ive only done one ending oops (finals hurts okay :((( ) also ... im not sure if reapers names are classified just to mortals and not other reapers but ykw imma take my liberties

"Seriously, do you ever get tired?"

Casper groaned irritatedly, running a hand through his snow-like hair. Blood like rust coated his scythe, spoils from his most recent hunt. The corpse still lay fresh in front of him, but their skin was cold and their eyes dead.

Boisterous laughter erupted above him. Sitting on the balcony of some person’s apartment, you grinned down at him - that infuriating, shit-eating grin that never failed to tick him off.

You kicked your legs childishly as you leaned back over the railing. Nestled against the crook of your arm was a scythe similar to his own, save for the more detailed design and color palette. Unlike him, you would constantly say, you liked to live a little.

Bold words coming from a bringer of death.

“Don’t blame me for you being slow,” you called down to him. Casper rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he glared up at you.

“I am not ‘slow’,” he grumbled. “You’re too eager. And get down from there, you’ll be spotted.”

You tilted your head. “It’s like, 3 A.M. What kind of idiot’s gonna be awake at this hour?”

“You’d be surprised. Humans will do anything but take care of themselves.”

“I guess,” you sighed, jumping down. You twirled your scythe absentmindedly, Casper leaning back to avoid getting hacked to pieces.

“Be careful with that,” he scolded. You, of course, ignored him.

“So are these the last of the guys?” you wondered, kicking at a corpse with your foot.

The alleyway was practically lined with bodies, so many that management had called upon both you and Casper to deal with the remnants of the massacre. Gang fights were a pain to deal with, second only to pandemics and war.

“It would seem so.” Casper gave you a look, to which you responded by sticking out your tongue. You were very mature, after all.

You stretched thankfully, rolling out your shoulder. “Thank God, I was starting to get depressed from all the dead people.”

“If you’re getting depressed from just this, perhaps you should consider a different career choice.”

“Nah.” You smiled. “If I left, who would I bully? You’d get all sad and lonely without me.”

“Hardly,” Casper scoffed. “If anything, I’d be relieved.”

“You wound me.”

“Good.”

“So mean,” you pouted. Casper paid you no attention, as per usual. It didn’t matter, though, since you immediately perked back up. “Hey, boo?”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“I have an idea.” And just like that, your cheshire grin returned. Casper sighed, already beginning to walk off.

“How wonderful,” he said sarcastically. “Share it with someone else.”

“Uh-uh, no.” As quick as a flash, your scythe was out, the blade curving in front of Casper to prevent his escape. “This one’s good, I swear.”

“Your definition of what is and isn’t a good idea needs some desperate fixing.” Still, he made no move to escape, instead turning around to face you.

“Let’s race.”

Casper raised a brow. “Race?”

You nodded eagerly, your eyes shining like jewels. In the darkness of the alleyway, the two of you were illuminated only by the neon blue lights of the city. Yet, as that same blue was captured in your eyes, Casper was reminded of a kaleidoscope, changing and turning in a multitude of different colors.

It was… captivating.

“If I win, you have to buy me a drink.”

Casper snapped out of his daze, a light flush blooming across his fair skin. Thankfully, though, you didn’t seem to notice, too entranced by another one of your ridiculous competitions. Seriously, there had to be a limit to how unprofessional you could be.

“You assume I have the time to buy you one,” he said with faux calmness, grateful for the night’s shadows hiding his complexion. You huffed.

“You could do it while you’re rebalancing yourself,” you said, as though it was obvious. “Besides, it doesn’t have to be anything big, just a coffee or a tea would be nice.”

“Fine, let’s say I stoop down to your level and agree to this… race,” said Casper. “What do I get if I win?”

You shrugged. “Then I'll just buy you a drink.”

Casper shook his head. “I’m not like you. I don’t drink on the job.”

“But you do cuddle an axolotl plushie when you sleep,” you pointed out. Instantly, Casper flushed red.

“Wha- What does that have to do with anything?!” he protested.

"I just thought about it randomly," you shrugged. "But seriously, that thing is huge, where did you get it?"

“Never mind how I got it," Casper crossed his arms and averted his eyes, his bottom lip turning up in a pout. “We’re getting off track.”

“Oh, so now you care about my games,” you teased. “Anyways, on how I’ll reward you…”

You spun your scythe back to your side, tapping its staff against the ground as you thought of a fitting reward.

“Oh! How about this?” You snapped your fingers, a figurative light bulb lighting up next to you. “You get to cash in one favor from me.”

“Any favor?” A smirk creeped onto Casper’s face, his interest finally piqued. “That’s a dangerous game you’re playing, [Name].”

“As long as it’s within reason and isn’t embarrassing,” you snapped, crossing your arms. “If you make me kiss your feet or something like that, I’ll kick your ass.”

“Of course,” Casper chuckled knowingly. “So, where to and when are we racing?”

“Hey, if you weren’t paying attention to the rules, then that's your fault. As for when the race starts, how about… now.”

“Wha- Hey!” Casper barely dodged as you shot past him in a blur of black. Hooking your scythe into the walls, you stuck out your tongue at him as you propelled yourself through the night.

“So long, Casp!”

Casper cursed under his breath. Quickly, he made haste to follow you. He flew through the air like a bird, twisting around light poles, skyscrapers, and billboards alike.

You weren’t as elegant, instead jumping from building to building like a modern superhero. You’d catapult yourself through the sky using your scythe as leverage, your laughter echoing in the slumbering city - free like the wind.

Casper didn’t have to follow you long to know where you were heading towards. Invisible to the mortal eye, yet painfully obvious to the eyes of reapers, was an entrance to the Underworld, a whirlpool of black and red that led straight down to your home.

As you launched yourself into the air once again, Casper came up next to you, his hair billowing in the cold night wind like smoke.

“Nice of you to join me,” you teased, elbowing him in the side. Casper rolled his eyes once again, speeding up. “Hey!”

Smoky tendrils of crimson and ink curled around your figures as the two of you neared the portal. The center of the whirlpool was a void seemingly leading to the abyss itself, but you’ve worked in this job long enough to know just what lay beneath.

True to his character, Casper wasted no time and shot straight into the thick of it. You, on the other hand, were a little more dramatic with your landing.

You spun in a backflip off of the last of the skyscrapers before letting gravity take you for a ride. Wind whistled past your ears as you fell, yet all you could hear was the rapid thump of your own heart. Adrenaline filled your veins. Soon, black and red lined your vision as the Underworld engulfed you.

The second you saw the tips of red-stained towers, you flipped yourself to face the ground. Closer and closer, you could practically taste it. If you delayed any longer, your life as a grim reaper could end prematurely.

Like the eyes of a devil, your pupils glowed in delight, activating your abilities. But rather than slowing your descent, you sped it up, shooting towards the ground like a missile.

Black blobs, the fuzzy images of your coworkers, scrambled to move out of your way. Turning your body, you landed hard on your heels, narrowly missing a fellow reaper.

For a moment, all you could see was dust. Before the clouds could disappear, you shook off the sting in your ankles and stretched.

“Woo!” you cheered, kicking your leg. “That’s what I’m talking about!”

“Quiet down.” Casper grabbed your shoulder and pulled you back. “Honestly, is there ever a quiet moment with you?”

You giggled. “Boo, you’ve known me long enough to know the answer to that. Oh, by the way, I’m craving some-”

“Hold it.” Casper bonked your head. “I only agreed to buy you something if you won.”

“Didn’t I?”

“No you didn’t,” Casper retorted. “Anyone with working eyes could see that I reached the ground before you did. Therefore, I won.”

“Uh, no.” You crossed your arms. “Are you gaslighting me? You’re gaslighting me. That's not very nice of you, Casp.”

“I am not gaslighting you.” Your white-haired coworker rolled his eyes. “As grim reapers, we cannot lie. Someone of your caliber should know this.”

You blinked innocently. “Did you just compliment me?”

Casper spluttered. “What in the world made you come to that conclusion?”

Taking a step forward, you leaned towards the reaper, a cheeky smile growing on your face. “You said ‘Someone of your caliber’. That means you think I’m capable.”

“You’d have to be a special kind of stupid to be incompetent after working as a reaper for so long,” Casper crossed his arms, fighting down the blush rising onto his cheeks. You were close, way too close. “Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised, seeing as how that was the only thing you heard from what I said.”

Heaving a sigh, he pushed you away with his finger.

“But don’t distract yourself from the fact that I won the race,” he said, a smug smirk replacing his exasperation.

“I was honestly trying to forget.”

Casper huffed, a pout forming on his lips. But the moment wouldn’t last long, as a ding sounded from both of your phones. When you checked it, you groaned when you saw a notification of unexpected emergency.

“Seriously?” you complained. “Overtime? Did a bunch of reapers die off or something? My soul’s going to get tainted at this rate.”

“Don’t complain.” Casper nudged you, but even you could see the irritation on his face. “It’s our job as reapers to reap souls on time, no matter what.”

“I guess. Still doesn’t make it any less annoying.”

“Agreed.” With a sigh, Casper summoned his scythe. “I must be off, now. See you on the other side, [Name].”

As he made his way back to the opening of the portal, his feet lifting off from the ground, a gloved hand reached out to grasp your chin. Gently, he guided you to look at him as he ascended.

“I look forward to cashing in on that favor.”

━

For as long as you could remember, things have always been this way.

Your earliest memory was of waking up to the crimson skies of the Underworld. Unaware and unknowing, you allowed yourself to be dragged around by older reapers, their voices blurring together in a droning buzz. Everything had gone by so quickly, and you struggled to keep up with it all.

If you were to say it bluntly, your first day felt like a fever dream.

But amidst the chaos, the tutorials, and the gifting of your first scythe, there was one thing that you remembered clearly.

“...Snow.”

Your mentor’s lecture halted at your voice, barely audible. They followed your gaze to a white-haired man, looking to be around the same age as you. Like a drowsy child, you lifted your finger and pointed at him, looking back to your mentor.

“He’s like snow.”

Their eyes softened by the tiniest bit, having seemingly realized that you were still disorientated. After all, in a sense, you had just been born.

“I suppose he is.” Putting a hand on your shoulder, they guided you away from the man. “Now, as I was saying…”

Their voice faded away into the background as the white-haired man noticed your gaze. He turned to look at you, his ruby-like eyes like blood speckles against the winter landscape. You stared at each other for only a few seconds before you turned to follow your mentor.

You quickly forgot the pretty stranger, but you would stay in his memories for quite a while before you’d cross paths again. In the darkness of the Underworld, you were like a lantern - radiating warmth and familiarity.

You were beautiful, like a flower in summer. That was, until he met you for the second time.

Swiftly and ruthlessly, holding true to your occupation as a reaper, you cut apart any premonitions he had had about you. When you were put against him to spar by your mentors, the drowsiness had worn off - instead replaced by insufferable audacity.

As your scythes clashed, sparks flying between the two of you and burning him in the process, your mouth just wouldn’t stop moving, stop talking. The innocently sleepy look on your face was replaced with a shit-eating grin as you blocked his attacks, trapping him in a frenzied dance.

“What’s wrong, boo?” you laughed, twirling your scythe to drive him back. “Don’t tell me you’re getting tired already.”

Casper’s eyebrow twitched at the nickname; you wouldn’t stop calling him that ever since you learned his real name. He didn’t understand where it came from, but just the way you said it was enough to annoy him.

“Hardly,” he scoffed, his boots kicking up dust as they skidded against the ground. He was quick to lunge back at you, his movements precise as he swung his blade. “If anything, I’d wager that you’re the one tiring out.”

“Ha!” You ducked under his attack and sprung forward, Casper’s hair tickling at your face as you came nose to nose with him. Startled, Casper had no time to react as you slammed the end of your scythe’s staff into his chest.

Before he knew it, Casper’s back was against the ground, your boot on his chest, and your scythe at his neck.

Your breaths were heavy as you looked down on him, but your eyes glowed with triumphant victory. The fight may have been more exhausting than you’d like to admit, but the view you had was well worth the effort.

Beneath you, Casper struggled to catch his own breath, his chest heaving under the soles of your foot. His white hair splayed around him like a halo, and his face was tickled pink from the fight.

Even in defeat, he was beautiful.

You leaned forward, putting your weight on your knee. Casper grunted as you pressed harder on him. Just for the fun of it, you pressed your scythe’s blade against his chin and guided him to look up at you and your grin.

“I win,” you sang mockingly.

Casper groaned, letting his head fall against the floor. You laughed heartily, stepping off of him and instead extending your hand to him. Without a second thought, Casper took it, allowing you to pull him to his feet and dust him off.

“That’s what, victory number twenty-one?” you asked, stretching. “That means I’m in the lead now, Casp.”

“Whatever,” Casper scoffed, dusting off his chest where your foot had been. “I’m sure the score will even out in no time.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you squinted at him. Casper stuck his tongue out at you.

“I don’t know, what does it mean?”

You hit his chest playfully. Casper grunted, glaring at you from the corner of his eye.

That’s how it had always been, after all. You and Casper would go back and forth in this tantalizing dance, exchanging jabs and jokes at the same time.

To Casper, you were insufferable, but annoyingly capable. To you, Casper was way too serious and stuck up, yet had that charm about him that made you want to tease him at every possible opportunity.

But for many, many years, your relationship never went further than mere friends - if Casper even wanted to call you that.

━

The day Casper’s view of you changed was like a stormy sky - dark, yet light still managed to peek through.

You’d come back to headquarters with a solemn look upon your face. For someone who had just come back from a mission, you were oddly… clean. There wasn’t a trace of blood on your clothes, yet your eyes were dark, haunted. Even your scythe’s shine seemed dull.

For the reapers, to have someone normally so loud and full of life be reduced to this, was frightening. They’d grown used to your smile, your voice, your light. You parted crowds with your uncharacteristically serious aura; if there was anything a sensible reaper feared, it was the wrath of a joyous soul.

Immediately after turning in your report to headquarters, you disappeared from the public eye.

When Casper first heard the news, he had brushed it off. You were probably just having a bad day, he tried to assure himself. Maybe you’d finally realized the grimness that came with your profession. Maybe the soul you’d reaped was especially troublesome and gave you a run for your money.

Despite his attempts to make up explanations for your behavior, he couldn’t stop the worry from gnawing at his heart. It twisted in his chest like soul sickness, an ailment that he wasn’t used to nor did he understand. It even followed him into his work, plaguing his mind and distracting him as he reaped soul after soul.

He’d made haste to return home, knowing that this illness would only worsen if he stayed out.

The Underworld was always dark, but that day, the sky was pitch black. Eager to return to the comfort of his bed, he quickly made his way to one of the many apartment complexes in which reapers resided.

However, just before he opened the door to his room, his hand stilled at the sound of crying.

Now, sadness wasn’t an uncommon emotion in the Underworld. Ghosts, sinners, and demons alike wailed and screamed their woes into the night. Their cries were as common as the sound of rushing cars in a human city.

But not for reapers, especially in their home. Reapers, at their core, were cold, emotionless, and ruthless - they needed to be, in order to do their jobs properly. A reaper’s tears were rare, almost taboo.

The more Casper listened, he soon recognized a familiar voice among those sniffles: yours.

Could it be? He looked up to the rooftop, his hand wavering. His soul pulsed in his chest, warning him to ignore you and focus on himself. But his heart argued back.

Casper glanced once more at the doorknob to his room. Cursing himself, he heaved a sigh and walked away - moving towards the staircase leading to the rooftop.

As he emerged onto the rooftop, the first thing he noticed was how clear the sky was. Its crimson blanket was more like that of a rose’s rather than bloodstains, and if he squinted, he could perhaps delude himself into seeing a few stars.

Then came you.

Casper’s heart plummeted in his chest when he saw your form curled into itself. You sat at the edge of the rooftop, your knees pulled up to your chest and your face buried in your arms. Your back was to him, but Casper saw the way your shoulders trembled.

He tried to take a step towards you, tried to reach to you with his hand, but hesitated. What would he even say? What could he say? What could he do?

His thoughts halted when you took a deep, shuddered breath, your voice raw from cry.

“What do you want, Casper.”

Casper. Not Casp, not boo, not any of the annoying nicknames that you called him by.

“I…”

He stepped back, feeling fear for perhaps the first time in his life. For the first time, he was unsure of what to do.

You couldn’t see him, but you heard him walk away and descend the staircase. You laughed hollowly, wiping at your face with your hand.

“What was I even expecting…” you muttered bitterly, gripping at your own arms for support. “Why would he of all people…”

You shut your eyes tighter. Without the company of the sky and the city, you were left alone with your thoughts. Memories of what you had witnessed laughed in your mind, latching onto you like a parasite and refusing to let go.

You were never afraid of blood, nor of death, but today, just the thought of it made you nauseous.

Something soft nudged at your elbow. Blinking your eyes open, you warily looked to your side.

However, instead of seeing a person, you came face to face with a bright pink axolotl plushie.

You and the plushie stared at each other for a good minute, neither of you knowing what to make of the other. It wasn’t until you heard a familiar, exasperated sigh from behind the plushie that you realized what it was.

“Don’t just stare at him,” Casper mumbled, pushing the plushie against you. You blinked owlishly, before hesitantly taking the plushie into your arms.

Hugging it against your chest, you rested your chin on top of its head. The plushie was oddly warm, yet comforting. Casper sat beside you, silent and gazing up towards the sky. For a while, the two of you simply sat in this silence, with the only thing breaking it being your quiet sniffles.

“...She was just a kid,” you finally spoke, catching Casper’s attention and making him look at you. You, however, kept your gaze straight ahead to the city lines, refusing to meet his gaze. “She was just a little girl, and yet they… they…”

You hugged the plushie a little tighter.

“I just can’t understand how humans can be so cruel to each other.”

Casper’s gaze turned downcast. “That’s how they’ve always been. Life is cruel, even to the purest of souls.”

“It’s not fair.”

“Hardly anything is.”

“It shouldn’t have been her. It should’ve been that bastard that murdered her.”

“He’ll get what he deserves. Karma will catch up to him.”

“But what if it doesn’t? What if he gets let off?”

“He won’t.”

Unexpectedly, you let out a snort at Casper’s deadpanned voice - so assured and serious. Casper raised a brow, looking at you inquisitively.

“You know,” you said, raising your head. “You’re somehow really bad and really good at comforting people.”

“What?” Casper wrinkled his nose. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” you said softly. “I didn’t mean it as an insult. Actually, that’s one of the things I like about you.”

“That I’m apparently a bad comforter?”

“No, silly.” You leaned your head on the plushie again, only this time you were looking at your coworker. “Your seriousness. How you’re always so confident in yourself. How even if you don’t know what you’re doing, you still try.”

Red bloomed across Casper’s face like a flowering blossom, reaching from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. He rubbed the back of his neck, averting his gaze.

“It’s not fair when you start saying things like that,” he mumbled. You giggled a little, leaning onto his shoulder with his plushie still in your arms.

“I’m just being honest,” you hummed. “Or maybe I’m coping. I dunno.”

Casper chuckled, but made no move to push you off him. You closed your eyes. The turmoil in your heart was still there, of course, but with Casper against you, it eased up just a little.

“Seriously though, thank you,” you said. “For coming up here for me and, well, everything.”

“It was nothing,” Casper replied. “You were looking pretty pathetic, all depressed and all.”

You huffed. “Just admit you care about me, Casp. Is that so hard?”

Casper grumbled something unintelligible, before lifting his arm. You squeaked as he wrapped it around your shoulders, pulling you closer against him. With your head laid against his collarbone, you could feel every breath he took as well as the rapid beat of his heart.

“[Name],” he said quietly. “Remember the favor you promised me? For winning the race?”

“Mm… yeah. What about it?”

“I’d like to cash it in right now.”

“Oh lord,” you chuckled. “Alright, what do you want?”

“Whatever happens next, don’t tell anyone,” Casper whispered.

Your lips curled into a smile. “You know, Casp, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were about to do something weird.”

You couldn’t see him, but you knew he was rolling his eyes.

“Be quiet for a moment, will you?”

You grinned. “Ah, but that’s two favors, not-”

Casper shut you up with a soft kiss to your head. It was brief, so quick that for a second you almost thought you had dreamed it.

In your stunned silence, Casper spoke again.

“Forgive me if I’m being greedy, but I’ll ask for a third favor,” he said. “No matter what happens, promise me you won’t deal with it by yourself.”

His grip around you tightened.

“Please.”

You nuzzled closer into the crook of his neck.

“...I promise.”

reblogs w comments are appreciated !!

#a date with death #a date with death x reader #adwd #adwd x reader #adwd casper #adwd casper x reader #casper x reader #casper #x reader #y/n #reader insert #grim reaper #grim reaper x reader #archives 🏵️

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brairslair · 3 months

Note

i loved your recent hc post !!! could i request a nsfw of one piece men when they beg during sex?? need that ASAP !!! thank u >.<

i need this asap too i think

18+ ONLY (minors go away !)

MONSTER TRIO x FEM!READER

a/n: sorry for the wait! had a bit of a hard time figuring out what to put for luffy, but i hope you like what i came up with! thanks anon <3

don’t forget to like, reblog, follow, and comment if you would like to support my work! mwah 💓

“let me make it up to you?”

Luffy:

so we already know he’s talkative

in and out of the bedroom

and he has no problem being vocal

butttt he’s also a man who’s used to getting what he wants

the first time he’s ever felt the need to beg for anything is with you

it would sorta just slip out mindlessly when he was really needy, words reaching your ears before he could even register what he was saying

it feels strange and foreign in his mouth at first

but i feel like it would grow on him pretty quickly

it would make him giddy that doing something as simple as essentially just talking, (one of his many skills), he could make you blush and press your thighs together

so then he’d start doing it more often

“please, please, please, can I feel your mouth”

“need it so bad”

“please let me touch you, i’ve been so patient-”

and then he’d start getting bolder and do it outside of the bedroom too

partly because he loves seeing you get all riled up and flustered

cause he’s a little shit

but also because he just thinks you’re so goddamn hot and literally wants to touch you all the time

you could be helping with chores, or eating dinner, or talking to your crew mates, does not matter

he will persevere and find a way

he has no shame

some events are more subtle and sweet

ex: “can i kiss you? pretty please?”

but some events are harder to miss

he’ll wrap his arms around your waist from behind, nuzzle his face into your neck, and whisper his needy pleas into your ear

he’ll tell you everything he’s gonna do to you as soon as he gets you alone, pleading for you to let him drag you away to somewhere more private

his smile is as wide as ever as he watches the way you shiver

it’s still seemingly innocent to any onlookers, but definitely not innocent to either of you

“can we please go now? you look so pretty, and i just wanna be inside you so bad- please can we?”

it definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by the crew when you both bolt out of the room

Zoro:

the closest you’ll get to zoro begging is if ur riding him and he’s pussydrunk honestly

because he doesn’t even realize he’s talking in the heat of it all

he just feels so good, and you look like an angel, and his lips start moving without a thought behind it

“just like that, don’t stop-“

“fuck- harder”

“oh shit, do that again“

and his voice sounds absolutely wrecked

but he still never says please

unless you make him

zoro will do anything to please you, and you know that

so you can use it to your advantage

he wants to touch you? better ask nicely

and he will, begrudgingly, follow through on the request

only for you

let me set the scene alright

the two of you are making up and making out after a petty argument, the adrenaline making you both a little more desperate than usual

his hand inches farther and farther down your body, about to slip past the barrier of your panties

you stop him

“ah ah ah- i’m still a little mad at you.”

it’s all teasing, both of you know that, but it still has the same effect

because zoro would honestly do anything you asked him, even if thats begging for forgiveness

so with a huff, he asks nicely, even though his cheeks are hot and his ears are pink with embarrassment

“i’m sorry baby, really”

“let me make it up to you? show you how sorry i am?”

he’ll whisper into your neck to hide his face

“can i touch you? please-“

and honestly thats more than enough for you to to lose your resolve

but know that he will deny his actions if the situation ever gets brought up again

Sanji:

sanji will beg you for anything at any time

for your attention, kisses, alone time

it’s just in his nature, and he’s not ashamed about it either

he’ll even get on his knees if necessary

and he loves when it’s necessary

on his knees between your legs, hearing you pant and watching your hips twitch makes him lose his mind

he’ll punctuate each word with kisses along your thighs and hips

“please let me taste you, princess”

“just wanna bury myself between your thighs- can i please?”

“let me worship you, ma chérie. need to see your beautiful face when you come undone on my tongue”

his voice always gets whiny, and scratchy, and so desperate for you that it almost seems painful

because he whimpers

and his heart eyes don’t play

so he begs all the time, for a multitude of reasons

but mostly, he knows that begging you almost always gets him exactly what he wants

he’ll beg when he’s been hungry for you all day

“please, my love, please touch me”

“faster, faster, faster-”

he’ll beg when he’s fucking into you so good you can hardly breathe

“one more, okay? i promise, just one more- i’m so close-”

“cum for me, darling. need to feel it, please please please-”

and he’ll definitely beg when you’ve been edging him for what feels like hours

“please can i cum? i’ve been so good, please-”

“don’t stop again, please mon coeur, ill do anything”

he’s absolutely whipped for you to say the least

asks are open!

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atticrissfinch · 11 months

Text

Ruined

Part 2 to Gimme What I What: A Fic In Texts

pairing: joel miller x afab!reader summary: when you and joel meet for the first time, the awkward date definitely ends up being worth it warnings/tags: [18+ MINORS DNI] no!outbreak, brief implication of sarah death, dom/brattamer!joel, age gap (Joel is 56, reader is 25), brief mentions of alcohol consumption, dirty talk (joel has a filthy mouth i’m so sorry), daddy!kink, praise!kink, degradation!kink, slight humiliation!kink, slight pain!kink, oral sex (m & f receiving), fingering, slapping, choking, spitting, ball-sucking, spanking, light hair pulling, light restraint, unprotected piv, creampie, a splash of innocence!kink for funsies, pet names/degrading terms (darlin’, babygirl, pretty girl, whore, slut, bitch, etc). reader is shorter than joel and has hair long enough to grab. probably more than this honestly just fucking everything, joel got v carried away… word count: ~9.2k | ao3 a/n: thank you all so much for your love on part 1!! it was way more than i ever expected for my first fic in the fandom, so i appreciate it so much. these two definitely got away from me a bit but joel gets what joel wants and i am not one to deny him. I highly recommend reading part 1 prior to this. also no beta so pls forgive any mistakes we simply don't see them.

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Kofi

Joel is half-tempted to down a whiskey before he leaves for the restaurant, but thinks better of it. He has never been so goddamn nervous. Not on his first date with his ex-wife, not his first official project of his brand new business, not even the day Sarah was born.

After his rather indecent text exchange with you, his brain was off to the races. He didn’t want to come off as overbearing or desperate, but damn if he couldn’t get you off of his mind.

He lasted three days before he texted again.

[7:34 PM] Joel: Would you allow me to treat you like a proper gentleman should have done first and take you to dinner on Saturday?

[7:36 PM] You: Can’t stop thinking about me, huh? 😏

[7:36 PM] Joel: I’m a lonely old man. Humor me.

[7:37 PM] You: I think you misspelled “horny” 😝

[7:38 PM] Joel: Hey. A man can be two things. I can be lonely and horny.

[7:38 PM] Joel: But the two things I prefer to be are a Southern gentleman and a depraved degenerate.

[7:38 PM] Joel: Ideally on the same night.

[7:39 PM] Joel: So let me get dressed up. And then after maybe you’ll let me pull YOUR dress up 😉

[7:40 PM] You: Smooth

[7:40 PM] You: Who says I’ll be wearing a dress?

[7:41 PM] Joel: Again, I ask. Humor me.

[7:41 PM] Joel: 7 PM, Olivio’s?

[7:43 PM] You: I’ll be the one in the dress

It’s true, he hadn’t been on a date in years. Over a decade, if he’s really counting. After everything that happened with his ex and Sarah…well, he’d spent a lot of time picking up his own pieces and attempting to weld them back together with nothing but a heat gun and several bottles of whiskey. And a lot of meaningless sex.

Tommy had helped, but he had his own life and family to care for. Joel does like Maria, even if she is a bit tender-footed with him most of the time. And damn it, does he love his niece. But sometimes when he looks at that rambunctious, golden-hearted tornado, he feels like his stomach has suddenly taken residency in his throat. She’s got a lot of Tommy’s features. Many of which are also Joel’s features.

And many of which were also Sarah’s.

Joel can’t quite put his finger on the reason he asks you out on a date. He is certainly no stranger to one-night-stands or fuck buddies. There was something about the way you seemed to completely disarm him without even trying. The way you made him laugh right off the bat. The way you responded so readily to his brand of dirty talk.

Shit, it also helps that you might be the most gorgeous young woman he’s seen in a long time. He may be old, but he is definitely not blind. If you like experienced older men, he’s got an extraordinarily willing one for you right here. He sincerely hopes you’re just as beautiful in person and not playing him for a fool.

He checks himself for the tenth or eleventh time in the mirror, ensuring the buttons on his white button-up aren’t accidentally asymmetrical and that an appropriate amount of his chest is showing–trying his best to walk the fine line of “dressed up, but not too dressed up”.

He went back and forth on the tie, ultimately deciding it might be a tad too much. He does choose a nice belt buckle–a sleek oval with engraved Texas wildflowers and a steer’s skull in the center. He adjusts and readjusts the buckle so it sits just right below the belly of his tucked shirt. He knows his stomach has gotten a little soft over the years, a long way from when he used to care about having a more trim and toned body.

But he’s never been self-conscious about it; his body does what it needs to do to get the job done, if not for his damned knees and lower back. But he’s been content with himself, not too bothered.

Until tonight, that is.

He shakes it off, nothing to be done about it now. He just hopes she likes her men a little soft in the stomach, but hard where it counts. Besides, if he has it his way, by the end of the night you’ll be craving every inch of him regardless of how he looks.

He finishes up by rolling the sleeves on his shirt to the tops of his forearms. He does know he has nice arms. If construction does anything, it does guarantee that. He figures he should play to his strengths. Not to mention he fucking hates the feeling of tight, buttoned sleeve cuffs around his wrists.

He checks the time on his watch, muttering a “shit” as he jumps into gear and hurries out the door.

---

The moment he lays eyes on you, he’s absolutely positive he must be dreaming. There was no way you look as good as you did in your picture—hell, better.

You did wear a dress. A flouncy little lavender thing that molds to your breasts perfectly while still putting your cleavage on display, making his dry, nervous mouth suddenly feel like a water slide—one he would love for you to ride on. His eyes slip down to where the dress lands a little higher than mid-thigh. Enough to still be decent, but enough to still look plenty indecent.

When he catches your eye, you light up, and it might be the most breathtaking sight he’s ever witnessed. He jumps up from his seat at the table reserved for the two of you and reaches for your hand to place a light kiss to the back of it. Lips still hovering over your skin he says, “You look absolutely stunning, darlin’. Prettier n’a picture.” He allows you to relinquish your hand and hurries to pull your chair out for you. You give a small giggle at the gesture and offer him a polite thank you as he scoots you in closer to the table.

Before he can help himself, he dips low by your ear and whispers, “Somehow even prettier than your pictures. I didn’t know that was possible.” You blush slightly at the words and Joel strolls back to his seat across from you.

“And you are mighty handsome, Joel Miller. I’m very glad that I was right.”

You glance at the table, taking in the small bouquet of flowers laying on the center of the table.

“Oh!” Joel hops up again, swiftly picking up the bouquet and rounding the table to offer them properly. “Almost forgot. For you, of course.” He shifts on his feet, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, got so distracted with you walkin’ in all…perfect and such.”

You gift him a light laugh in return, pressing the flowers to your nose and inhaling. “They’re beautiful, thank you, Joel.”

Joel nods matter-of-factly, giving you a bit of an awkward smile. “I apologize, my dating skills are a little rusty.”

“You’re just fine,” you say with another small laugh. “I’m gonna go run these to my car, okay? So we’ve got some room on the table.”

“Shit,” Joel mutters, shaking his head, “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about where you’d have to put ‘em, I just wanted to be polite—”

“Joel,” you gently interrupt as you stand with a delicate hand on his shoulder and the flowers pressed against your chest, “I love them.” You make sure he is making eye contact with you when you deliberately nod reassuringly.

You smile at him again, sliding your hand down his shoulder to his bicep, squeezing so lightly he’s not entirely sure you actually meant to do it, before letting go and winking at him over your shoulder as you head out to your car.

Oh, you definitely meant to do it. Joel looks down sheepishly, smiling a little to himself. He feels the tips of his ears heating up. You called him handsome. You squeezed his bicep. You loved the flowers. Fuck, he’s got to shake off this awkwardness. It is not doing him any favors. He stretches his neck from side to side, rubbing it as he takes his seat again.

The second time you approach the table, you look just as radiant. When he stands again to help you into your seat, you bypass your chair and press a soft hand to his chest. “I can pull out my own chair, but thank you. And thank you for the flowers.” You lean in on your tip-toes and give him a peck on the cheek. Pink rapidly starts to bloom where your lips had been and he tilts his head in gratitude, only retaking his seat once you’ve taken yours.

Right then the server appears, and you order a white wine. Joel takes that as his cue to finally have that glass of whiskey he’s been yearning for, for about the past three hours.

As the server leaves, Joel’s brows scrunch together as he looks up at you. “How the hell are you so good at this? I feel like I’m flounderin’ to impress you here.”

You shrug, a smile dancing at your lips once more—god, he could watch that smile for hours and not get bored a single second of it. “You remember I told you that I typically know what I want.”

“I do. And I greatly admire it right about now. Feel like a goddamn fish outta water.”

“So many fish similes,” you tease, taking a sip of your water that had been set with the table.

“I’m doin’ my best out here,” he sighs, lifting his hands in a helpless gesture.

“I think the good news is it can only get better from here,” you tease again with a smirk. “I can wade through the awkwardness because I know full well what’s on the other side of it.” Your eyes dip down ostentatiously to what you know sits just below the lip of the table, and then slowly rake back up Joel’s torso to his lips, finally meeting the spark that has ignited in Joel’s own eyes. “Unless you end up being all bark and no bite,” you add with an innocent lilt to your voice.

Joel feels a low growl travel up his throat. “Oh, I bite.”

The server chooses that moment to deliver your drinks. Joel clears his throat a little, shifting in his seat as he wills the prickling of arousal in his body to subside for the moment. As she sets down your wine, you offer a quiet thank you to the server, then glance again at Joel and respond with a simple, “Good.”

The banter comes easier after that. It seems like neither of you can really help the sexually-charged quips that keep slithering out of each other. In a way, Joel is grateful for it. Sex he’s comfortable with. He can do sex. Romance, not so much. And as much fun as he’s having playing the gentleman with you, he is itching to show you what he truly has to offer. Prove that he is bark and bite. See those perfect tits spill out of that pretty dress like they’ve been fighting to do all throughout dinner.

When the check arrives, Joel immediately reaches for his wallet.

“Do I need to do that thing where I pretend like I want to help pay, or can we just skip that?”

Joel flicks his eyes over to you with raised brows before he slides his card into the black check presenter and hands it to the server with a polite smile and an expression of gratitude. When the server is on her way, Joel lets out a small chuckle and looks back at you. “Oh, you’re gonna pay, darlin’. You’re in charge of dessert.”

You quirk an eyebrow back at him. “Am I now?”

Joel nods, running his thumb back and forth over the rim of his empty whiskey tumbler. “I’m in the mood for somethin’ juicy and sweet. Any ideas?”

Your tongue mindlessly, mesmerizingly caresses the straw in your water. “Something with whipped cream and a cherry on top maybe?”

Joel scoffs, leaning in across the table with a harsh whisper, “I know a goddamn slut like you don’t still got her cherry, but you better believe if you did I’d be popping it tonight while you screamed out my name.”

A wicked smile crosses your face as you adopt an innocent cadence to your voice. “But I do still have my cherry, daddy.”

That goddamn name again. With that goddamn voice to go with it. “Fuuuuck me,” he mutters, desperately wishing he had another whiskey to toss back. But he fully intends on taking you back to his place as soon as the server returns. “You better knock that shit off real quick or this restaurant is ‘bout to get a front-row seat to me spreadin’ open your precious unpopped cherry, little girl.”

You meet him with a determined look of your own, squinting your eyes with a challenge. “You don’t have the guts, old man.”

Joel is about to leap out of his chair when the server cheerily places down the black book and thanks you both for dining before leaving again. Joel snatches his card from the book and shoves it into his wallet before leveling a finger at you. “You need to learn some manners, babygirl. ‘F you agree to follow me to my place, daddy will teach you those manners.”

Your eyes flicker from his pointed finger to his eyes. “I can be very stubborn.”

Joel smirks. “I like ‘em stubborn. Makes it all the sweeter when they finally break for me.”

That line gets you. You swallow. “Fuck.”

Joel scribbles in a generous tip on the receipt, mostly grateful that the server didn’t hover much and left the two of you to flirt awkwardly (in his case) in peace. He gets up and offers you his hand to help you stand. When you take it, he hauls you up close to him as you let out an unexpected gasp. He drifts his mouth to your ear like he had earlier, but this time his words are far less congenial. “Think very carefully about whether you decide to follow me, babygirl. Because I fully intend on fuckin’ ruinin’ you for every other goddamn man who even thinks about this cunt.”

As Joel heads out the front doors and pulls his car out onto the street, he doesn't even look back to see if you’re following.

He knows you are.

So far, Joel is fucking perfect. You love how awkward he was trying to impress you. You love how he gradually transitioned into that dominant personality when he became more comfortable. And you love that, when it comes to sex, he seems to be able to read you like a fucking book.

Like, the man bought you fucking flowers. Come on. Who the hell buys flowers for a first date anymore?

Maybe a guy who probably did most of his dating in the eighties and nineties, you guess.

But seriously, how were you not expected to open your legs at the first chance? He’s straight out of a dirty rom-com. The way his sexual banter comes so easy to him, dishing it out as well as he can take it. Threatening to fuck you in the middle of a restaurant. Whispering in your ear how he’s going to destroy you for other men.

If it turns out he can, you decide, you’re going to fucking let him.

Joel’s pickup rolls up the driveway of a nice suburban home, on a nice suburban street. You follow suit, pulling up the drive next to him. Before you even have your seatbelt off, Joel is opening your door for you and holding his hand out for yours.

“Such a gentleman,” you purr playfully, accepting his hand. You’re pretty sure you hear him mutter under his breath, “Not for long.” That makes you smile. He drops your hand in favor of placing his on the small of your back, guiding you up the front steps to the door.

You almost expect him to jump you the second he unlocks the door, but he doesn’t. Once you’re both over the threshold, he presses the door closed behind him with his back and leans against it, his arms folding across his chest.

You give him a sultry look, taking one step toward him. Before you can take another step, he holds a finger up, indicating for you to wait. You wait.

“Now before we do this,” he starts, his voice calm and velvety in the tension-filled air, “I want to make sure I’m not gonna spook ya.”

“I don’t think you’re gonna spook me, daddy.”

His head tilts away the slightest bit at the word, and you see a flex in his jaw. “Regardless. I wanna clarify. Is there anythin’ I said to you during that…text conversation…that you didn’t like?”

Your heart swells a little at his deliberate consideration. It is so rare for a guy to actually make you feel safe and reckless at the same time. “Not a single thing,” you breathe, shaking your head. “Trust me, I’ve read it over about a thousand times at this point.”

You have. You didn’t want to bother him much after it happened, hoping he would make the first move. Instead, you just read the conversation over and over, your eyes lingering over his filthy words as you allowed him to bring you to orgasm two, three, five times over the few days Joel hadn’t reached out, just through his written words.

Lucky for you, he did make the first move. And now you hope—fear—that he might be getting ready to give you the best night of your life.

His eyes trace over your face, deciding you were telling the truth. “Well,” he flexes his biceps as they stretch across his chest, and looks down at the hardwood floor for a moment before meeting your eyes once more, “I can get a little intense. I’m a man who likes bein’ in charge, who likes puttin’ little troublemakers like you in their place. I may slap you, I may choke you, I may spank you. That okay with you?”

You nod eagerly.

“Your face is real pretty, darlin’, but I need you to say it. Let me hear that pretty voice too.”

You clear your throat. “Yes. That’s okay with me.”

Shit is it ever okay with you. You’re not sure you’ve ever been so okay with something. You’ve experimented plenty, tested the waters of more kinks than you can count on both your hands (as well as your toes if we’re being honest). You know exactly how you like to be treated. You already feel yourself shivering the tiniest bit with excitement and possibility.

“You have a safeword?”

You nod. “Honeysuckle.”

“Alright. You use that word if you need to, for any reason, and we stop. No questions asked. Otherwise, I’m gonna assume everythin’ is fine and I’m gonna keep goin’. Understood?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Good girl,” he rolls off the door at his back and saunters over to you, gripping your chin in his large hand. His thumb catches and drags along your jaw with a callused touch that you think you could quickly get addicted to. As he speaks, you feel his breath ghost over your lips, “We’re gonna have some fun, aren’t we, babygirl?”

Your eyes flutter closed as his nose traces up and down the shell of your ear, completely losing yourself in the sensation of him being near you.

“Answer me, babygirl,” he orders quietly but firmly into your ear.

You swallow and nod your head, “Yes, daddy.”

“Good girl.” The combination of his praise and the intimacy of his deep voice floating into your ear has goosebumps shooting across your flesh. “That’s what you call me. Daddy or Sir. Is that clear?”

You quirk up the corner of your mouth. “Not ‘Mr. Miller’?”

You don’t anticipate the sharp smack that lands on your cheek, whipping your head to the side. You feel the sting immediately after, and you have the insane thought that you want him to do it again. He jerks you back by your chin to look at him, eyes unflinchingly blazing into you. “I’ve already told you once not to call me that. Or were you lyin’ through your teeth about readin’ those texts a thousand times?”

You know you shouldn’t, but you can’t help the smile that spreads on your lips. “I remember, sir,” you reply, testing the new term on your tongue to see how it feels. You like that one too, you decide.

“Seems like you fuckin’ forgot. I hope, for your sake, you got a better memory goin’ forward.” Your eyes catch Joel flexing his hand at his side, probably shaking out the smart of your face against his palm. “‘N you better wipe that goddamn smile off your face. Little girl’s got a fuckin’ death wish.”

You struggle to rein in your smile, biting into your lower lip. “Yes, sir.”

Joel’s hands find your hips, walking you back until you hit a wall. He inhales deeply into the crook of your neck, shaking his head as he exhales. “Nothin’ but trouble, just like I said.”

“I’m sorry, daddy,” you sigh as Joel’s mouth sucks wet kisses into your neck and down to your collarbone.

“Not yet you ain’t,” he grumbles into your skin. His hand skates down your thigh, gripping near the back of your knee and hitching it up onto his hip. Your dress raises with it, revealing your lace panties to the open air. The fabric, already flooded with your arousal, chills against your flushed pussy with the new exposure. “But you will be, babygirl.”

You already know how big he is from his picture and video, but when he grinds his crotch against yours, you start to understand how big he really is. A moan falls out of your lips at the thought.

“Feels awful big, doesn’t it?”

You whimper in response, his mouth still working its way across your chest and onto the swell of your tits in your dress.

“What do we do if it doesn’t fit?” He proposes as he grinds against you again, hand clutching tight into the flesh of your thigh at his hip.

“I don’t know, sir,” you pant out.

Joel chuckles with a darker tone than he has before, and the sound inexplicably has a gush of juices defiling your panties further. He raises his head to curl his tongue at your earlobe and nip it playfully. “We make it fit, babygirl.”

Your head falls back against the wall with a breathy moan, daring to bring your hand up to bury into his hair and tug lightly. Thankfully he groans into your neck at the action. You nod your head, albeit a little shakily. “We’ll make it fit, daddy.”

“Atta girl. Now let me see these pretty tits. Practically burstin’ out this slutty little dress, hmm?” He slides his hand around to your back, finding the zipper and pulling it down. The top of your dress droops down over your waist as you slip your arms out of the straps. A dexterous hand makes fast work of the clasp of your bra, and you allow that to fall too, leaving you naked from the waist up. “Fuck, babygirl.”

Joel’s face immediately drops into your chest, hands squeezing them together to nip and suck at them. “Shit, this is all I been thinkin’ ‘bout all week. These perfect fuckin’ tits.” You gasp as he takes a nipple into his mouth, biting and sucking until it’s hard and stinging while he massages the other in his broad hand. He dutifully mimics his ministrations on your other breast until they are both hard and glistening.

Breathing heavily at your chest, he suddenly pulls away, grabbing your hand and tugging you behind him. “Fuck it, waited long enough,” he mutters, leading you up the stairs and through a door at the top—his bedroom. Your dress falls down your hips on the way and you step out of it hastily along with your heels.

Joel drags his eyes up and down your body in nothing but your soaked thong as he jerks his shirt out of his pants, making quick work of the buttons and shedding the garment. “Get on your fuckin’ knees.” The order is cold, domineering, and you don’t think twice before obeying. “Fuck, the way those pretty things bounce when you drop to your knees for me. Naughty fuckin’ thing.”

You look up at him with an attempt at innocence, bringing your hands up to play with your tits for him. “Not used to a beautiful, young girl being on her knees for you, daddy? This new for you?”

His eyes burrow into yours, his face stoic as he flips open his belt buckle and unfastens it deftly, sliding it out of the loops and tossing it onto the floor. He raises an eyebrow at you. “I’d think twice about antagonizin’ me like that if I was you. Got you on your knees pretty damn quick, what makes you think you’re the first young, slutty piece of ass I’ve had lookin’ up at me with those big, baleful ‘fuck me’ eyes?”

He cups your chin in his hand, using the other to undo his jeans and pull down the zipper. “You got somethin’ to say, little girl, then say it. ‘Fore you got your mouth full.”

You blink up at him, swallowing the excessive saliva gathering in your mouth at the thought of him filling it. “Nothing, sir.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “Nothin’? That smart little mouth always got somethin’ to say, and when I let you speak you got nothin’?”

Your eyes dart away from him as you let out a quiet breath. “I just…,” you shuffle on your knees nervously. “You mentioned you were out of practice, so I thought maybe…”

“Look at me,” he barks out at you, and your eyes hurry back to him. “You look at me when you’re talkin’ to me. You got somethin’ to say, you say it right to my face.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Now, when I said I was rusty I meant about the whole datin’, romance thing. But I don’t gotta wine and dine a girl to fuck her.”

“You wined and dined me,” you point out.

Joel nods. “I did. And now that I think about it,” he removes his hand from your chin to rub at his own, fingers scratching against his beard, “I haven’t heard a thank you for that, have I?”

You play the dinner over in your head, analyzing whether he’s right about that. “I thanked you for the flowers.”

“Didn’t see you eatin’ the flowers though, did I?”

“No, sir,” you reply softly. “Thank you for the dinner.”

Joel strokes your hair gently for a moment, then grips it harshly at the root, jerking your head back so you’re looking at the ceiling. “Open your mouth.”

You do as you’re told, opening your mouth wide. You can’t exactly suck him off from this angle, but you don’t ask questions.

He doesn’t make you wait long for the answer. Without warning, he leans over you and spits directly into your mouth. Your eyes fly open in shock. You’ve done a lot of things. Yet, for some reason, you have never had a man spit in your mouth. You feel it glide along your tongue and pool at the back of your throat.

“There’s your dessert, babygirl,” he grunts coldly, “Swallow it and say ‘thank you’.”

Something akin to shame paints your cheeks pink, but you love it. The feeling of degradation has your pussy pulsing in your panties. You make a point to meet his gaze as you swallow down his spit, mixed with your own, and say, “Thank you, daddy.”

He loosens his hold on your hair, stroking it softly again. “That’s a good girl. See? Told you I’d teach ya some manners.”

“Yes, daddy.”

Joel crouches down to your level and palms your cheek, brushing your skin with his thumb. “Good manners get rewards, babygirl. Would you like that?”

You hum as your eyes drift closed at the rhythmic movement of his thumb. “Yes, daddy.”

“Look at me, babygirl,” he prompts, but with softness this time. Your eyes fall open again to stare into his for a moment before he tilts your chin and presses a gentle kiss to your lips. It’s exceedingly chaste in comparison to everything else you’ve done up until this point, which makes the tips of your fingers and toes tingle.

He deepens the kiss slowly, bringing his other hand to cup around your neck. Not squeezing, but a comforting pressure that has you sinking into his kiss even further.

“You taste so sweet, babygirl,” he muses, placing a final kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“Thank you for my reward, daddy.”

He nuzzles his nose against yours, “You’re very welcome, baby. Thank you for being a good girl for me.”

You take a deep breath. “Can I…”

Joel pulls back enough to watch as you speak. “Can you what, babygirl?”

You fiddle with the hem of your panties, but look him in the eyes like he asked. “Can I please suck your cock, daddy?”

Joel’s gaze falls to your lips as he licks his own. “You say ‘please’ so fuckin’ pretty.” He hoists himself back up and finishes pulling his cock and balls out of his underwear and undone jeans.

Your eyes go wide as you drink him in, his hand wrapped around the width of himself making it look even bigger. He strokes himself leisurely, using the pre-come at the head to lubricate the slide, staring at you with hooded eyes. “What do you think, baby? Not quite so eager when you see how big it really is?”

You shake your head. “I still want it, sir.”

He lets out a laugh. “‘Course you do. Cock hungry little whore.” He taps the leaking head against your bottom lip. You immediately lick the pre-come off in your haste to get just the briefest taste of him, savoring the saltiness on your tongue. “Greedy cumslut. Spit on it.”

You look up at him hesitantly, but he nods down at you. You gather your saliva in your mouth and follow instructions, spitting it onto the head of his cock. Joel groans, stroking himself from tip to base and spreading out your makeshift lubricant.

He makes you wait for it, makes you watch as he strokes himself at a languid pace. “Bein’ such a good girl for me. So responsive. What are the fuckin’ odds that the person on the other end of my wrong number is a bratty little slut like you? Just my type.”

“I’m very lucky, daddy.”

“Shit, I'm lucky, babygirl. Lucky you were brave enough to push me to talk to you. Lucky you’re such a desperate fuckin’ whore, you get your tits out for every man who gives you the time of day. Isn’t that right, baby?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Say it out loud for me. What are you?”

You bite your lip, affecting a façade of innocence that severely contradicts your words. “I’m a desperate whore.”

“And what should a desperate whore like you do when on her knees in front of a giant cock like this?”

You furrow your brow as you search for the best answer. “Beg?”

Joel shakes his head, “Not unless I tell you to. Whether you get this cock is not up to you, is it?”

“No, sir.”

“What you do is you shut up and take what you’re given.”

You nod in response, not wanting to speak unless he asks you to after that instruction. He places his hand at the back of your head as he moves closer toward you.

“Now, open nice and wide for daddy.”

A whimper slips out as you drop your jaw and stick out your tongue for him.

Joel starts by rubbing the head of his cock along the length of your tongue, letting every inch, every taste bud get its fill of him. He is thick and heavy on your tongue, already stretching your mouth to accommodate him. You can’t help moaning around him as he dominates your mouth.

“Very good. Now keep that tongue out,” He instructs as he pushes further in, not stopping until he hits the back of your throat. You reflexively gag against him, your jaw protesting against the size of him, but you stay steady. His hand on your hair digs in tighter, ensuring you stay still as he fucks in and out and taps at the back of your throat repeatedly. Your reaction to the intrusion tampers as he goes, allowing him to take you faster, rougher.

Tears well and break free from the corners of your eyes and your nose starts to run at the relentless onslaught of his cock aggressively claiming your mouth. Joel’s grunts and groans mesh with the wet, sinful sound of your gagging as you relax your jaw and give it over to him to just take.

“Good fuckin’ girl. Knew a slutty, cock-starved bitch like you would take this dick like a champ.” He pulls out and you cough, saliva running thick between your lips and his cock. “Look at you, darlin’,” he smacks his cock against the side of your face, then the other side, then your dripping lips, “Fuckin’ pathetic.”

You just open your mouth for him again.

“That’s right. Open right back up for me.” He begins to fucks your mouth punishingly, bringing a hand to your chin and smearing your spit wherever he can reach on your face. “Such a fuckin’ mess.”

He eases up again, using the head of his cock to spread more of your spit across your skin. He guides you with a firm hand down below his dick until you’re level with his balls “Suck.”

You waste no time mouthing wetly at them, sucking each ball into your mouth and laving over them with your tongue. Joel’s moans grow louder as he strokes his cock above you. “Just like that, yes baby. Such a filthy mouth on you. So much more useful–fuck–when it’s filled up.” You hum around him, glowing with pride at his small break in composure.

“Alright, babygirl, that’s enough. Gonna make me fuckin’ come already,” He grunts out, pulling your mouth from between his legs. He grips your upper arm and helps you stand. Your knees twinge from the sting of the carpet rubbing into them and your jaw aches from the stretch, but your hormones are soaring and your pussy is practically vibrating with how hard it’s throbbing.

You let him lead you where he wants you, which happens to be in front of a full-body mirror hanging on the wall. You take in your nearly naked form in the reflection, watching as Joel wraps his hands around your waist and hooks his chin over your shoulder.

“I want you to see what I reduce you to when you’re with me. See how fuckin’ wrecked you are just from me fucking one of your holes. Look.”

You definitely see it, that’s for sure. You take in your blown-out pupils, your puffy red lips, your watery eyes, and your tangled hair. A mixture of tears, snot, and saliva coats your flushed cheeks and thoroughly fucked features.

You look used. Taken.

Ruined.

“You see it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Remember it.”

You nod at him in the mirror.

Joel’s hand travels south as he locks eyes with you in the reflection. He toys with the band of your panties, then slips his hand inside. Your eyes follow his hand hungrily.

“Look at me,” He orders. You return to his heated gaze, forcing yourself to hold it as he dips a finger between your folds for the first time. You have to fight your body’s will to roll your eyes into the back of your head at the unbelievable zap of pleasure that comes from finally being touched. You fear if you disobey his orders he’ll stop, and you think you’d actually rather die than cause that to happen.

His finger traces lazy circles around your entrance, sliding around with far too much ease. “Shit, babygirl. You could swim in these fuckin’ panties they’re so wet. Filthy fuckin’ girl, gettin’ off gaggin’ on this dick.” He slides in with zero resistance, pulling a moan from your raw throat. “This cunt is screamin’ that she’s ready for my cock, isn’t she?”

Another pitiful moan vibrates your lips as he adds a second finger, spreading them inside as he fucks you. Your clit feels like it’s straining for his attention as it goes neglected, but you don’t dare speak. You simply melt into his avaricious eyes as he winds you up around his fingers.

Your hips jut forward in search of even an ounce more of pressure as you whine, shamelessly seeking relief as your orgasm begins to spiral without him so much as bumping into your clit. Joel tuts in your ear and removes his fingers at your actions and you groan loudly.

“Now, now, don’t get greedy, babygirl.”

“Please, daddy,” You sob, grabbing at his arm that’s now resting on your stomach, fingers still wet with your juices. “Don’t stop. I’ll do whatever you want, just please don’t stop.”

Joel chuckles in your ear, extracting his arm from your grip. “Oh, darlin’. Unless you safeword, you’re gonna do whatever I want regardless. Not much leverage there.”

As much as you hate to admit it, you know he’s right. You would do just about anything this man asked you to do at this point. He has you feeling so safe, so seen, that your safeword is far from the front of your mind. Still logged away in case you need it, but laying blissfully dormant in a corner of your brain. You’re as wrapped around his finger as your pussy was moments ago. You don’t know what this man is made of, but it’s intoxicating your senses, bending your will to his like some ethereal elixir trickling down your throat and seeping in through your skin.

He taps his two glistening fingers at your lips. “Clean up your mess.”

You oblige, sucking the digits into your mouth and enthusiastically licking them clean of yourself. He pulls them out with a pop and uses his spit-slick hand to play with your tit, squeezing the flesh and pinching at the nipple. “You let me play with you like a little doll, don’t you, baby? My little fuckdoll.” Then his hand is gliding up your chest and around your neck again. He presses in on the sides of your windpipe just enough to hinder your air supply. “Are you on birth control, babygirl?”

Your brain wades through the fog clouding your thoughts from the pleasurable thrill of the suppression of oxygen. You manage a nod.

“That’s good,” He mumbles into your neck, sucking and scraping his teeth and clearly not caring about leaving marks on you. You know you should probably be concerned with the state of your neck tomorrow, but you truly cannot bring yourself to give a fuck. Particularly so when he continues his thought. “Because I intend to shoot my load so deep inside this pussy that you taste it on your tongue.”

Your head drops back in a loud moan, “Yes, please, daddy!”

He tightens his hand on your neck, your brain going hazy again. “Listen to you, beggin’ for this come. Probably let anyone with a cock bust their nut in that fucked out hole. Dirty fuckin’ slut. Wouldn’t be surprised if you feel so wet ‘cause you got another man’s load in there right now. Hmm?”

The humiliation at his words has your whole body burning hot. You take a grateful gulp of air as he slackens his grasp on your throat. “Don’t let anyone come inside me, daddy! Only you!”

“You’re goddamn fuckin’ right only me,” He growls, delivering a hard smack to your pussy over your panties. “This?” He cups a hand over your crotch and digs his fingers in, “is fucking mine.”

You nod frantically, “Yes, daddy! All yours, I promise!”

At last, Joel releases you, spins you around, and shoves you in the direction of the bed. “On your back. Wanna watch your soul leave your body when I stretch you open for the first time.”

You scramble onto his bed, crawling to the top and plopping yourself among his pillows. Joel strips off what remains of his clothing, and you can’t take your eyes off of him. Seeing him fully naked has your cheeks going hot and your brain working overtime. You allow yourself a moment to take him in and admire just how truly sexy this man is. His scruffy beard, the crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes, the enviably plush lips. Your eyes roam down his strong, broad chest to his soft belly, looking absolutely delectable. You want to bury yourself in that tummy, kissing it and biting it and laying your head down on it after.

His thick, sturdy thighs frame that beautiful, massive cock. You want your mouth on every goddamn inch of him at once.

Joel clears his throat under your awed stare. When glance back up to his face, you could swear his expression goes momentarily bashful. “Like what you see, darlin’?”

“Very, very much, sir.”

“Feelin’s mutual, babygirl.” He crawls up the bed after you, hovering over your sensitive body. You know it's probably in your head, but you almost feel a staticky sensation flowing between the two of you as he glares at you hungrily. He sits back onto his calves and flattens his hands against the top of each thigh, inching them achingly slow toward your panties. He hooks a finger under the hem at both hips and tugs them down at a frustrating pace, clearly enjoying every moment of your desperation.

Your body starts getting fidgety. “Please just take them off,” You whisper hastily, hopefully quiet enough that he doesn’t hear, but of course he does.

He raises an eyebrow at you and pauses, leaving your thong in place halfway down your calves. “Are we not bein’ patient, baby?”

You bite your lip, your fingers clutching absentmindedly at his duvet. “I think I’ve been very patient, daddy. Just want you. It’s a compliment.”

That elicits a little smile from him. “Is that so? You think that’s how this works?” You shrug sheepishly. “Who’s in charge here, little girl?”

“‘You…”

He tilts his head in a manner that feels oddly threatening. “And who here decides whether you even get fucked at all?”

You whine, admittedly a little childishly, “Daddy, please–”

You hear the slap before you see or even feel it. This one was harder than the last one. The impact has your head swinging sharply to the side, followed by the ignition of a thousand fiery pinpricks where the smack landed on your face. You exhale a breathy gasp at the sheer force of it as tears well involuntarily at your waterline. A warm hand puts pressure on your smarting cheek, thumb stroking soothingly at the rapidly blooming pain. When he speaks, his voice is low and admonishing, but with an undertone of compassion. “Do not whine at me like a bratty child. Especially when I am asking you a specific question that I expect you to answer. Understood?”

You nod as you scrunch closed your eyes to rid yourself of the tears. “Yes, daddy. I’m sorry.”

Joel brushes his thumb up below your eye where a tear has escaped, wiping up what he can. He locks eyes with you as he brings the finger to his mouth and wraps his lips around it, sucking off the salty evidence of your distress.

Something like that from anyone else in the world, you think, would come off as truly unhinged. But because it’s Joel, the act just serves to arouse you more. Him getting off on your humiliation, your pain, your suffering. Every issuance of degradation, purely for his own twisted pleasure.

It’s so fucking hot.

The way he masterfully seems to manipulate the levity of each moment since you entered his home–taking, then giving, then taking again–has the synapses in your brain firing at each other. The exhilaration of never knowing what he’s going to do next has your body in a near-permanent state of stimulation. It makes you want to poke and prod at him but humbles you enough to pick and choose your battles with him.

Joel rids you fully of your panties after that, flinging them somewhere behind him. “Are we happy now? Finally gettin’ what you want,” he grunts. He wedges his hands at the back of your thighs and lifts, pushing your knees up by your ears. “Hold yourself open for me. Let me see what’s mine.”

Your body shudders at the rush of air between your legs and the anticipation of getting his cock inside you after what feels like a million years of waiting. You take over his grip on your legs, hooking your hands around the backs of your knees. Maybe you should be ashamed of how open you are for him like this, but the sick thrill of depravity ebbs away any disgrace.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Joel groans in wonderment as lays on his stomach with his face at your folds, spreading your lips lewdly with his fingers. “Perfect fuckin’ tits, perfect fuckin’ pussy.” You do your best to crane your head forward to watch as his head dips low, licking a firm stripe up the whole center of your cunt. You jolt reflexively toward his mouth for more. Just that one lick has your legs shaking in your hands and your clit burning with the desire for release.

Joel lays a single wet kiss to your clit, sucking for barely a second before pushing himself back up onto his knees and crawling over you again. His mouth shines with your wetness and a mischievous smile. “You ready for me to pop this cherry, pretty girl?”

You can’t help but laugh a little deliriously. Partly with unbridled horniness, partly with the utter absurdity of the false notion that you could possibly still have your virginity, particularly with the juxtaposition of the debauchery the two of you have committed in this room already. You do, however, love the little callback to your earlier dinner banter.

“I’m so ready, daddy.”

“You sure? It’s gonna hurt.”

“I want it to hurt,” You whisper.

“Shit,” He mutters in response. He takes his cock in his hand and you feel the blunt head of him press at your entrance. Once again, you’re forced to come to terms with how huge he is in comparison to your hole. You expected him to maybe stretch you more with his fingers first, try and make the initial intrusion a little easier. Then again, you’re not at all surprised he doesn’t. Joel’s sadistic streak has already poked its head out a couple times tonight, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t scratch a correspondingly masochistic itch of your own.

“Daddy, it’s too big,” You whimper as Joel teases at your dripping hole.

Joel nuzzles along your ear. “Now, baby, remember what we said earlier?”

You turn your head toward his, your noses brushing lightly and your breath mingling together warmly. You nod. You reply in a small voice, “We make it fit.”

“That’s right, babygirl.”

And Joel pushes in.

The initial shock of pain has the breath whooshing out of your lungs, punctuated by a high-pitched moan. The pain rapidly dissolves into pleasure as Joel continues to roll his hips steadily into you, inch by inch. Joel grunts through clenched teeth, “Such a tight cunt for such a filthy whore. There you go, baby. You wanted this cock so bad, fuckin’ take it.”

All you can do is moan as your hands slip from behind your knees to wrap your legs around his waist. You’re flooded with relief when Joel permits the shift, continuing to rock his hips gradually until he’s bottomed out inside of you.

“Shit, that’s so fucking big.”

“I know, baby,” Joel placates as he pins your wrists above your head with one big hand. “Just take it like a good girl.”

Joel begins a brutal pace, pulling out to the head and snapping his hips into you with increasing speed. Your heels dig into his ass, silently begging for him to give you as much as he possibly can.

“How’s it feel babygirl?”

Your breath comes out in spurts as you try your best to answer, “S-s-so fu-cking good! F-f-fucking in-in-credible!”

“Splittin’ you right fuckin’ open, isn’t it, baby? Suckin’ it right up this fuckin’ cunt.”

“Y-yes daddy!”

A hand comes up to squeeze at your throat, and your eyes start to roll at the heady sensation. The lack of air intensifies the rhythmic pounding of Joel’s cock inside your pussy, a floaty feeling trickling through every vein.

“Pretty little thing, lettin’ yourself get used by a dirty old man like me. Spreadin’ these fuckin’ legs like I’m payin’ you for it.” Joel pulls out swiftly, flipping you over onto your stomach and yanking your ass in the air as if you were a ragdoll. His hand comes back around to grip your throat lightly as he shoves himself back inside in one thrust, settling back into that grueling pace. This position has his hips smacking into your ass on every thrust, the sound ringing filthy and wicked around the room.

“There we go, takin’ it from behind like a real whore now, huh?” He releases his hold on your neck as he gathers your hair like a ponytail into his fist, jerking your head back and using his grip on it like a handlebar, holding you in place as he wrecks your hole.

This angle has Joel hitting impossibly deep inside of you, and your pussy is screaming for attention. You’re pretty sure all Joel has to do is brush your clit and you’ll be coming all over him. As if he can read your thoughts, Joel mercifully drops a hand between your legs and starts rubbing circles around your clit. “Come on, babygirl, I know you’re close. Been close all fuckin’ night, huh?”

“Yes, daddy, please!” You sob, greedily rocking your hips into his hand as your orgasm burns heavy in your stomach. The hand in your hair releases in favor of curling it under your shoulder, hauling you deeper onto his dick.

“Come for me, baby, come on this cock.” His permission has the band inside you snapping completely, throwing your head back with a garbled mess of “thank you”s and “daddy”s and “sir”s, your legs shaking violently below you. Little pulses of lightning sizzle along your skin as your release runs its course, leaving you boneless and thoroughly sated.

Joel continues to fuck into you roughly, both hands clutching at your hips. “That’s a good girl, let daddy use this sweet cunt to get himself off. Just like that.” A hand comes down hard on your ass, making you jolt forward, but you’re too exhausted to let out more than a squeak. “Fuck, daddy’s close, baby,” He groans out, smacking your ass again to feel you squeeze around him.

Joel’s movement become erratic as he approaches his own release, grunting to punctuate each thrust. “Gonna flood this fuckin’ pussy with my come. Fuckin’...take…it…” he growls out as his own orgasm finally hits, slamming in all the way to shoot his come as deep inside you as possible with a loud, primal moan. He drops down onto your back to breathe heavily in your ear as his cock softens slowly. “Good…girl…” he pants out as he strokes the back of your head affectionately.

He rolls off of you gently, and you immediately feel the loss of his cock from your aching pussy. You have half a mind to beg him to just put it back in again to fill the void. Instead, Joel coaxes you to lay your head on his chest as he envelops you in his arms, scratching lightly at your back in a way that has you melting into his body. He uses his other hand to intertwine his fingers with yours and inhales deeply into your hair.

The two of you lay in companionable silence as you come down from your highs. Joel is warm and soft beneath you, smelling of cologne and sweat and sandalwood. You vaguely feel a trickling sensation between your legs as Joel’s come starts to slowly flow out of you onto your thighs and the bed beneath you. You let it happen, getting secret pleasure from being coated in whatever Joel saw fit to give you.

Joel is the first to break the silence.

“How’re you feelin’, darlin’?”

“Pretty sure I can honestly say I’ve never been better,” You admit.

He presses a long kiss onto your head. “You did so good for me.”

You smile broadly into his chest, placing a little kiss of your own there. “I fucking hate that you were right.”

“About what, darlin’?”

You look up at him, taking in his furrowed brow and adorably sex-tousled hair. You heave a great sigh and crane your neck to plant another kiss on his jaw. “You’ve ruined me for anyone else.”

You see Joel fighting against a smile on his lips. “Sorry about that. I did warn you.”

“That you did. But as you now know, I don’t listen very well.”

“Nah, you just need a bit of a firm hand. And I don’t mind givin’ that to ya.”

“I don’t mind receiving it.”

Joel smiles fully now, tightening his hold on you. “I think I would count this as a successful first date.”

“Very successful, I’d say. Not sure how we top this one.”

“I mean…” Joel trails off, as if deciding whether he should continue his thought, but ultimately does. “You do have one hole I haven’t claimed yet.”

His words have your heart racing in your chest and the traitor between your legs heating up again when it definitely shouldn’t. “Fuck.”

Joel chuckles darkly, burying his face in your hair again. “Just food for thought.”

Next Part

Taglist Update: I have decided to decommission my taglist in favor of an updates blog! Please follow@atticrissfinchupdates and opt in for notifications to get notified when I post a new fic!

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taglist: @annaliseelliottxo @paleidiot @ashleymsnodgrass @tsukkie-daisuke @marisemonteiroo @leeeesahhh

#joel miller smut #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tlou #the last of us #katy wroted fic #daddy!joel miller #dom!joel miller

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insecure-snek · 3 months

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I feel like this is probably an unpopular opinion (that’s why I’m posting here and not on twitter) but I just wanna know if anyone else feels this way.

Obviously, I think Wilbur is the one Shelby is talking about, and as someone who was also abused, I feel stronger hearing her story. I hope she’s able to find peace soon.

Maybe I’m just an overly optimistic person, but I think Wilbur needs help. A lot of it. And I think, probably not a popular idea, that even though he’s a piece of shit in this situation, that he deserves it.

I’m an overly trusting person by nature. Obviously I wasn’t there when any of this happened. I am just a stranger on the internet. I don’t know what went on, I didn’t see anything happen. However, I think I want Wilbur to get better and I think he can.

He needs to be deplatformed. At least until he has PUBLICLY apologized to Shelby, and is showing to his friends (not us, the audience, not only Shelby, EVERYONE HE KNOWS PERSONALLY) that he is making an effort to never treat another person like that again. But I think, and please don’t come with your pitchforks for me, the person Wilbur abuses the most is himself.

He clearly has other problems that are not making him a good person. Mental health is not a excuse for poor behavior. However, it is an explanation. Your mental health issues and trauma are not your fault, however, managing both those things are unfortunately YOUR responsibility. They are HIS Responsibility to fix and manage, not Shelby’s, not Phil’s, not James, NO ONE BUT HIM.

Call me stupid, or crazy, or whatever, but I firmly believe in the idea of (almost) every human being capable of change. I have siblings who used to treat me terribly, who are much older than me, and I was hurt by them. But as I grew, I saw them realize just how terrible they treated me. They changed their behavior, and apologized to me many many times. They showed me people can wake up and change their lives around. And, whether or not Wilbur comes back to content creation, I hope he gets the help he so clearly needs.

Shelby owes him nothing. His fan base owes him nothing. His friends owe him nothing. Wilbur owes them everything. Shelby deserves to hold back her forgiveness when it so clearly isn’t deserved. She should never forgive him if she doesn’t want to. That’s her right.

Maybe I believe in people too much. But I truly hope he changes. Not only for his friends, family, and loved ones, but for his own sake. He’s going to end up dead if he continues this way, and I believe no one deserves to die. (I’m not even for the death penalty. Let them sit and suffer forever).

Anyway, get some rest all, drink some water, and remember that the world becoming a better place starts with you. Treat people the way you wanna be treated. 💕

Update: Wilbur’s response was absolutely awful, no surprise there. As someone else who responded said, abusers often don’t think of themselves as such. I still hope he gets help. Props to ranboo and all the others standing up to him. I hope this wakes him the fuck up. Until further notice, please stop supporting him. Unfollow him, un add his music, whatever you can to get him to deeply regret this shit he’s done. Those were his actions. These are the consequences.

#wilbur soot #twitter

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madaqueue · 2 months

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What the Books Don't Teach You

pairing: ryomen sukuna x reader

themes/content: dark content. dubcon. language, smut. name calling (slut, whore), hair pulling, choking, orgasm denial, fingering, sex. 18+, MDNI

word count: 2.5k

a/n: i'm so sorry if this is the first thing of mine you're reading or if you followed me for cute content AH it's dark and intense but i am such a sukuna apologist :'/ forgive me (also i know this isn't perfectly canon with the name stuff but shh)

The library is dim, illuminated only by the flickering candles that surround your workspace. Books upon books, pages of notebooks sprawled around you, trying to uncover anything you can about the curse that has plagued your best friend Yuji.

It’s been months since Sukuna first appeared. At first he was easy to contain, surely owed to Yuji’s strong willpower, his need for nonmaleficence. But as he consumed more he grew increasingly powerful, a dark presence that constantly hid around the corners of his mind. Yuji could sense it, too - there would be moments, barely just flashes at first, where it’s like he wasn’t there. You’d be talking to him and his eyes would glaze over, the ever-present grin on his face dropping slightly. “Sorry,” he’d mutter sheepishly as returned to himself, “what were you saying?”

Inside his mind, you knew what was happening: Yuji was talking to him. The “King of Curses,” a title he demanded to be called, one that you refused to use whenever you were forced to acknowledge his presence. You’ve seen him kill over the name when it was not honored, yet you would rather die at his hand than utter an ounce of respect to him.

As time went on, Sukuna appeared more and more often, a fact that every Jujutsu sorcerer desperately tried to ignore. When he did appear, the man was cruel, selfish, and sadistic. He taunted those he knew to be weaker than himself and purposely placed himself in harm’s way to prove his own strength. He left a path of destruction and desecration in his wake, forcing Yuji to clean up the pieces.

Sukuna had ruined Yuji’s life, and you couldn’t stand by and let your friend suffer under the weight of the curse for any longer. You began sneaking out of your room every night to the library, trying to collect any information on how to rid him from existence. It didn’t matter if he had to be exorcised or killed, so long as he relinquished control of Yuji.

Unfortunately, information was sparse. In the weeks you’ve been searching you haven't even been able to find the source of Sukuna’s cursed energy, let alone how to eliminate it. As your eyes skim the pages of text in front of you, something catches your eye:

‘Ryomen Sukuna holds a true form unlike any other. He is a demon, with four arms, two faces, and an additional mouth on his torso. This grants him inhuman strength and senses.’

Okay, you think, now we’re getting somewhere. Learning his appearance can give you insight into his strengths and, hopefully, his weaknesses.

As you begin copying the notes onto the paper next to you, the candlelight flickers.

A low laugh echoes through the room. “What are you doing in here all by yourself, little sorcerer?” The deep voice makes your blood run cold. As you start to turn towards the source of the sound in the doorway, a tattooed hand grabs your cheeks and holds your head in place. Another hand appears on your waist, digging into your skin with sharp black nails.

Shit.

Sukuna’s presence suddenly becomes overwhelming, his body pressing against your back, heat radiating off of his bare chest. You still can’t see him, but his cursed energy is unmistakable.

Your mind races as you feel panic setting in. How did he find you in here? How did you miss him entering the room? How did he take over Yuji’s body this time?

Another laugh erupts from his lips. “Aw, are you reading about me, little one? How adorable,” his voice dripping with fake sweetness.

“Su-” you start before he tightens his grip on your face.

“I didn’t say you could speak, now did I?” he rumbles. “You really should learn some manners. Besides, I know you’re aware that I don’t much care for that name.” A chill shoots up your body as you try to steady your breathing. His hold on you never wavers as he shifts so his mouth is next to your ear. “But lucky for you, I’m feeling quite forgiving tonight,” he whispers, breath hot on your skin.

Your face flushes at his words as your heart races in your chest. At first you think it’s just fear coursing through your body, until you notice a dull ache between your legs.

No. No. No. This is not happening.

His deep voice pulls you out of your spiraling thoughts as he places his head on your shoulder, looking down at the open books in front of you. “Ah, I see you were just starting to learn about my true form. I was glorious, you know. This fucking brat is nothing compared to what I once was,” he spits, mentally gesturing at Yuji’s body. “Fortunately, I was able to take one piece of my old body with me.” Before you can ask, you feel a tongue suddenly slide against your lips.

The feeling makes you jump in your seat, Sukuna’s hold tightening on you. Another laugh booms through the room as your eyes glance down to see a mouth formed on the palm that grips your face. “Don’t pretend you don’t like it, woman. I’ve seen the way you stare at the brat, just think of me like him, but better,” he smirks.

He was right - you had caught Sukuna’s eyes staring at you whenever you stole glances at Yuji out of the corner of your eye, but it was nothing serious. The poor boy already had enough going on with this curse, you couldn’t bring yourself to add to his stress by confessing how you feel.

This fucking curse.

“For what it’s worth,” he continues, “I have taken quite an interest in you myself. Don’t think I don’t notice when you purposely drop something just to bend over, or when you wear those tight shreds of cloth you could barely call a uniform. You fucking tease,” he growls.

The space between your legs throbs at the low vibration of his voice against you. What is happening? Is he doing this to you?

As if he hears your thoughts, he speaks again. “I know you’ve thought about it too, there’s no need to be so proud. Before I was stuck in this brat’s body I had whores like you lining up for me every day, not because I made them, but because they wanted me.” He pauses, using the silence to lick up your neck and bite at your ear. “And I have a feeling you want me, too.”

Fuck. His words have your knees weak and pussy throbbing. You’re grateful to be sitting down, otherwise you know you’d be visibly shaking, no longer from fear.

Suddenly the hand on your waist loosens, but instead of releasing you, he drags it down between your legs. His nails scratch softly against the skin of your thigh, bare beneath your skirt. His fingers reach your clothed cunt, and from his soft chuckle you can tell you have soaked through your panties.

“I knew it,” he mutters, tracing up your covered folds. The feeling forces a soft moan out of your mouth and you feel Sukuna’s lips curl into a grin against your neck. “Say it, little sorcerer. Say you want me.”

You gather every ounce of restraint left in your body to answer. “N-no,” your voice waivers.

Your response seems to amuse him as he practically giggles into your ear. The hand that previously held your face drops down to your neck as he squeezes your airway closed. “And here I thought Jujutsu sorcerers were supposed to be some noble, honest breed. But I guess some of them can be lying whores, huh?”

With that, he grabs you and throws you against the desk, your chest hitting the dark wood with a hollow thud. Your hands land under you as you try to brace yourself against the sudden impact and Sukuna takes the opportunity to yank your skirt down your legs, throwing it across the room. You yelp as a hand crashes against your thigh, pulling you back towards him. He presses his hips against you, feeling the bulge growing through the black sweatpants Yuji must have been wearing to bed. “See, my cock knows it wants you. Even I can be honest, so what’s stopping you?” he growls. He grinds himself slowly against you, the pressure against your needy cunt driving you insane. “I know this pussy wants me, just admit it,” he sneers.

“I-” you try to start again before Sukuna shoves the side of your head down against the desk, your cheek hot against the cold wood.

“The next words out of your mouth better be the truth, or I won’t hesitate to kill you,” he rasps into your ear.

Think, think, think. How can you get out of this? What can you say to appease the man - no, the curse - that’s currently pinning you down?

As you’re trying to think of a way out of your current situation, he thrusts his hips up against you. The action, still done through two layers of cloth, forces another moan out of you.

Fuck, that feels good.

“I…I want you,” you whisper, the words leaving your lips before you can realize what you’ve said.

“Louder,” he commands.

“I want you,” you whine. “Please, Sukuna, please.”

Boisterous laughter fills the empty room again. Leaning back over you, he whispers into your ear. “Was that so hard?”

He steps back behind you, suddenly ripping your now-drenched panties into shreds, making you gasp as the cold air hits your heat. Finally free from the hold he had on your head, you turn your body slightly to look at him for the first time. In the candlelight, he looks haunting - tattoos outline the contours of his body, covering his face, arms, and chest, the flickering light casting shadows across the hollows of his scarlet eyes that are currently focused between your legs.

Sensing your gaze on him, he smirks. “Admire it while you can,” he says while lowering the waistband of his sweatpants to release his fully erect cock, a drip of precum leaking from the tip reflecting in the dim light. “Liars don’t get to watch while I fuck you.”

His arm shoots up to the back of your neck, pushing your face back down against the desk. The other goes to your pussy as he shoves two fingers roughly inside of you. Before you can even process the new sensation, you feel a tongue form on his hand and begin lapping up your folds. “F-fuck!” you scream, pressure suddenly forming in your stomach.

“So close already?” Sukuna chuckles from behind you. “I’ve barely even touched you, you needy little thing. Must’ve been waiting for this for a while, hmm?” he purrs. Your back involuntarily arches as your legs begin to shake. Right as you feel yourself approaching the edge of an orgasm, his hand pulls away from you. “Not so fast. You still have to learn some manners, remember?”

The hand that was previously on your neck moves to grab a fistful of your hair as the other grabs your waist, pulling your ass up into the air. You hear him adjusting himself behind you and your eyes widen as you feel the tip of his cock press against your entrance.

“Now, say my name, whore,” he barks at you.

“Sukuna-” you whimper.

“No.” He yanks your hair, pulling your head off the table.

You hesitate. You know what he’s asking for, but you also know you vowed to never, ever call him that.

“Say it,” he commands, voice stern.

As you contemplate your next words, Sukuna slowly starts sliding his cock inside of you. The sensation of your walls stretching around him, a mix of pain and pleasure, makes you whimper.

Something in you needed more, and you only knew one way to get it. Fuck.

You take in a shaky breath, knowing what your brain has to do to get your body what it wants. “K-king…King of Curses.” Your voice waivers as the title leaves your mouth.

He smiles. “Good little sorcerer,” he hums. Suddenly, the hand on your hip grips you hard enough you can almost feel his nails breaking skin. He thrusts his hips forward, forcing the rest of his length inside you. Sukuna grunts as he enters you, relishing in the tight, warm grip you have around him. He pulls out of you before roughly shoving back in, tears welling in your eyes from sheer pleasure.

Pulling your hair further, he brings your body flush with his. “Now,” he growls into your ear, “let’s see if you can behave well enough to cum on my cock.”

The words alone have you dizzy, pussy clenching around him. You want to open your mouth, you want to scream, beg, do anything for him to let you finish, but something tells you to wait. He continues to pull out and thrust back in, his hips circling in rough, imprecise motions. The wet sounds of him pumping in and out of you fill the air, the noise so lewd you pray no one else happens to be walking past the library. You feel so full, his cock splitting you in half, and you still want more.

“Well?” he questions, breaking your silence. “Aren’t you going to ask?”

“You…you didn’t say I could speak,” you respond meekly, trying to hold yourself together as he continues to thrust into you. Skin on skin, the sounds of his balls slapping against you, pelvis ramming against your ass, echoes through the room.

Once again, he laughs. “What a surprise, you really did learn your manners. What a well-trained slut you are,” he hums. You feel your core tighten again at his words. “For behaving so well, I’ll let you cum.”

Upon hearing his permission, something inside of you snaps. You throw your head back, moaning, as you tilt your hips to take him even farther inside of you. His tip pushes into that sweet spot, bringing you closer and closer to your release.

Finally, it hits. Your eyes roll back into your head, your mouth opens as a sound, somewhere between a scream and a groan, escapes your lips. The pain, the pleasure, the everything of Sukuna’s cock surges inside of you. He never relents, never slows, as your pussy twitches around him. Your legs give out and he releases your hair, letting your body drop to the desk beneath you.

Your head spins, vision clouded as you lay on the table. The first thing you feel is Sukuna pulling out of you and you whine at the empty feeling you’re left with. He walks toward you and leans over, face to face with him for the first time, his red eyes burning into yours.

“And that, little sorcerer, is why you can’t learn everything about me from a book,” his voice low. All you can do is stare at him, eyes glazed over. “Maybe next time you’ll earn my cum, if you can remember how to behave,” he smirks.

Without another word, he tucks his still hard cock under the waistband of his sweatpants and turns to walk away, presumably back to Yuji’s room. You’re left in the dimly lit library, panting, aching.

You may not know much about Sukuna, certainly not from your reading, but you do know one thing: you need more of him.

259 notes · View notes

elmhat · 5 months

Text

DISC WAR FINALE - TUMBLR SIMULATOR

(The posts here are ordered from least to most recent, since I figured it was a better experience to read them chronologically.)

🟩 evilwarcriminal Follow

Mwahahaha… They'll never find my evil lair where I do evil things. Evilly. That I gave them a compass to

#sorry for vagueing #everything I do is mysterious

12 notes

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

just said my final goodbyes before my inevitable death and my friend couldn't even be assed to put on a shirt??

#cw nudity

56 notes

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

boats are so fucking boring man send me some asks or something

🟩 evilwarcriminal Follow

I'm about to kill you, can you please take this seriously

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

why'd you make it so fucking far away

🟩 evilwarcriminal Follow

Sorry I didn't realize you were THIS SLOW

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

can you just give us the coords

🟩 evilwarcriminal Follow

Then it wouldn't be dramatic

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

it's not dramatic when you're having a whole ass conversation about it either

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

fuck i shouldn't have posted that. who am i gonna talk to now i'm fucking lonely i have no one

🐝 what-if-bees-had-nukes Follow

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

no one at all

21 notes

🥇 dreamsno1traitor Follow

EVERYONE SHOULD BE AT THE PORTAL!

If you don't see one of your mutuals here please tag them, it's gonna ruin the moment if someone shows up late

🥚 baddestboi-withahalo Follow

@evilwarcriminal

🔥 murdered-yo-fave-pet Follow

DELETE THIS

134 notes

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

#rigging is allowed

16 notes

🐝 what-if-bees-had-nukes Follow

he has an elevator, we're doomed.

🟩 evilwarcriminal Follow

Can you get off your phone. I'm trying to monologue

4 notes

🔥 murdered-yo-fave-pet Follow

New ask game cause I'm sick of waiting, tell me what you think dream is doing rn and I'll tell you how much death I think he deserves

9 notes

🟩 evilwarcriminal Follow

I'm kinda busy rn but can someone remind me later to post my villain monologue? It's only a first draft but I had to spend all my time setting up my lair. And also blowing up that country a few weeks ago

5 notes

🐈 antthecatmaid Follow

I stg punz is being so sus. what's he even waiting for. he better be paying by the hour

11 notes

🐝 what-if-bees-had-nukes Follow

listen I think I'm gonna die dream is about to take my phone the coords are

2 notes

🔥 murdered-yo-fave-pet Follow

Fuck this I'm going through @dreamsno1traitor

🥇 dreamsno1traitor Follow

WAIT I NEED TO GO FIRST STICK TO THE SCRIPT

13 notes

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

HOOOLY SHIT BITCH BOY LOOK AT THIS BITCH BOY BITCH DROP YOUR ITEMS IN THE HOLE ✨BITCH✨

#cw nudity #again #can people please wear clothes around me thanks

2,577 notes

🟩 evilwarcriminal Follow

/ tw prison

/ tw loss of canon lives

/ tw near death experience

/ tw getting defeated by your archnemesis

I won't be able to post for a while.

78 notes

🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow

ooooohhh look at me i'm skeppy! in the skeppy cage!! can't believe that fucker made this wtf is this place

🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow

okay i'm done now bad where did you go @baddestboi-withahalo i need to get out again @baddestboi-withahalo @baddestboi-withahalo @baddestboi-withahalo

💎 goodestboi-withahalo Follow

Thank you for accepting this job opportunity

18 notes

🟩 evilwarcriminal Follow

Guys get out of my inbox. Your hate anons aren't even effective if I don't have a phone in prison

6 notes

🧨 deadpresident2 Follow

Hey I'm back from the dead

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

REALLY????

🧨 deadpresident2 Follow

Sorry forgot the /j

8 notes

🥇 dreamsno1traitor Follow

Good job today guys. Yeah. Woo. I'm very happy.

#forgive me if I sound too excited

🐝 what-if-bees-had-nukes Follow

#I need to be vague about this cause he follows me on here #but I think my best friend almost just traded my life for two pieces of plastic #it was a pretty stressful situation though #ig I can't complain too much #am I weird for thinking that's not normal for a friendship? #sorry #I'm probably being unreasonable #they were some really nice pieces of plastic #you can lmk what you think in dms if you want #just please don't send me asks about this situation #I really don't want him to see #neg #discourse

0 notes

🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow

it's great that we got dream but we need to go after @.bloodforthebloodgod next

🐷 bloodforthebloodgod Follow

what's happening what

🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow

go away i thought i blocked you

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

FUCKKJL YOU TECHNOO

🐝 what-if-bees-had-nukes Follow

technoblade is cringe

🐷 bloodforthebloodgod Follow

you literally tagged me

🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow

yeah cause i needed my followers to know where to send the death threats

28 notes

🔱 warden-of-the-vault Follow

Pandora's Vault is now open to visitors!

Just be aware that the entry process is a lengthy one with several waivers to sign. Plus there are a couple of annoying manual searches along the way. The prisoner is also highly dangerous, he will get inside your head and control your thoughts, transforming you into a servant to his every whim, destroying your very soul from within. I'd recommend not visiting at all actually. You can if you want but I wouldn't. If I were you. That's just me though.

#just me and him

103 notes

(Here's another dsmp dash simulator post I made!)

#long post #dreblr #dream smp #dsmp #dashboard simulator #lore thoughts #dsmp dashboard simulators

283 notes · View notes

godkeis · 2 years

Text

𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓.

characters: t. kei, k. tobio & k. shinsuke

genre: hurt/comfort

word count: around 1k

content warnings: arguments, blaming, cursing, mentions of insecurity

summary: how would haikyuu boys react when you walk out during an argument part one.

part ii. | part iii.

TSUKISHIMA KEI

Arguments with Kei usually arise whenever he starts crossing the line with his snarky and sarcastic remarks. There are times when he doesn’t know to limit himself when he blurts out things as if they are some kind of joke most of the time. When you started opening up to him regarding your recent insecurity and he slammed you with a sarcastic response, you felt awfully shit. It took you a muster of courage to bring it up to Kei yet, he didn’t see it as something serious.

“Seriously Kei? You know how hard it is for me to open up with how I feel and yet, you made me feel like shit.”

“What Y/N? I was just joking, don’t be so pressed about it.” You felt your blood boiling with how he perceived your point of view.

“Pressed? Are you fucking kidding me Tsukishima?” You never call him with his last name except for today because you had enough of him.

“If you’re going to continue treating me like this then I have no choice but to leave.”

You spat and pulled your heavy heart up to walk out of Kei’s apartment. Kei felt a shiver down his spine as he watched your figure slowly moving away from him. For the first time in his whole life, he felt a massive fear strike down his insides, fingers curling into his palms. When you shut the door of his apartment quietly, Kei swore he saw his whole life flashback in his eyes.

“I..fuck. I fucked up so much.”

Letting out a heavy breath, Kei stood up and hurriedly followed you before you could even slip away from his life. When he opened the door, he saw your figure walking away not so far from his door. With all his speed, he ran towards you and softly grabbed your arm just above your elbow so that he could see your face. But when he saw that you were crying messily, his heart ached and broke down. The fact that you were crying because of him broke him so much inside.

“I’m…so sorry, Y/N. I crossed the line.” He said softly, keeping the eye contact.

The following hours were spent with him holding you in his chest as you cry your heart out. Kei will listen to your sobs as he caresses your back. Once you calmed down, he will start apologizing sincerely more and will make no excuse for what he has done to you.

Days after that, Kei was extra sweet and will often check you out, especially with your mental and emotional stability. He never wanted to see you turning your back from him as you walk away because he’ll never be able to forgive himself if you leave him, especially when he’s the reason why.

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

Tobio thinks of nothing but volleyball. If he will be asked to pick anything versus volleyball, he'll definitely pick the latter. You don’t have an issue with this because, in the first place, you know what you are going into when you committed with Tobio.

However, when Tobio starts to get injured frequently, you began worrying like mad crazy. Tobio has the habit of over practising himself that’s why you were trying to convince him to take a break and only practice during his official practice hours.

“Are you trying to change my mind about playing volleyball? Because it’s not going to happen, Y/N.”

However, he thought of it the other way around.

“What? I am not trying to change your mind, Tobio. My side is that you have to rest too. You cannot overwork yourself and come home limping every single day because it hurts me and it hurts you too!”

“You know what? If you’re not going to support me with volleyball then leave. I don’t need someone who cannot understand how important my career is.”

Your heart shattered into pieces when he flipped the whole goddamn conversation into something else. You felt your insides being twisted with your significant other asking you to leave.

“Tobio, I have been supporting you since day one and you know I will always support you. However, if it's going to lead you to self-destruction then you’ll lose a supporter.”

With teary eyes, you pulled yourself up and walked out straight of his apartment. In a matter of seconds, Tobio realized that you left for real. As he watched you walk away from him, Tobio knows that he’s about to lose you for real.

“Shit shit, no! Y/N!”

He yelled but you chose not to look back because if you do, you know you’ll fall for him again. But Tobio is a fast runner and caught up with you immediately.

“Please…No. I don’t want to lose you, Y/N. I..am sorry, love.” Tobio breathed out, hands resting on your shoulder for support because his foot hurt like hell.

Tobio knows he didn’t mean any of the words he said to you. Losing you was the last thing he wanted to happen in his life and he knows that if he lost you, he’ll never be able to pick up the volleyball again because it’ll scar him forever that you left because of it. You got a point, you were just concerned and he’s being stubborn.

Melting into your boyfriend’s arm, you took him back to the apartment. A couple of hours later were spent in the living room with you icing his bruised foot and booking an appointment trip to the hospital the next day. Turns out that he sprained his foot and will be needing at least a week of rest.

Tobio will probably be silent the following days, reflecting on his words and actions however, he’ll also reach a breaking point and apologize to you with all his heart. He cannot stand the fact that he told you to leave yet, you’re here, taking care of him like there’s no tomorrow. He’s a goddamn lucky one.

KITA SHINSUKE

We all know that Shinsuke is pretty strict with how he keeps things in his life organized. He follows a strict routine every day and is calm with life. However, when he encounters people that are not as efficient as him, there’s a tendency that he’ll lose control and will try to control your life.

You explained to Shinsuke that both of you have different approaches to how you deal with things in life. If he’s someone that doesn’t give a shit about some things in life, you’re the type to let everything sink in first before moving forward.

But this particular argument burst your last ounce of patience with explaining to him because he invalidated your feelings.

“Shinsuke, how many times do I have to explain to you that I cannot just push myself to do things that I cannot do at the moment? I am having a slump day and the least you can do is either offer me comfort or just leave me alone.”

“How long are you going to stay like that? The world will not stop for you just because you’re sad. Stop acting like that and do what you have to do.”

Shinsuke didn’t realize the impact of his words not until he heard no response from you. Turning to see you once more, he saw you wearing a blank expression. Honestly, he got a point but what matters the most for you at the moment is how you feel your emotions first before you heal and move forward. And Shinsuke just invalidated that.

“Okay.” You replied, standing up from your seat, and heading towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Shinsuke asked with arms crossing against his chest.

“Out.” With that, you didn’t even bother to wait for his response and exited the apartment. Shinsuke was confused at first but he figured out you wanted some space right now. Sighing, he didn’t chase you and continued with his daily routine.

Outside was you, heart heavy as you let yourself get lost with your slump day. You thought that going for a walk alone was actually nice and helped you clear your thoughts out of your head so you let yourself walk for hours without a destination.

On the other hand, Shinsuke already finished his afternoon routine and was just lounging around the living room. Glancing at his phone, he saw that the sun will set soon and realized that it has been hours since you left and you didn’t text him a single message.

Panicking, hen rang your number a few times.

“Shin-”

“Y/N, where are you?”

You heard things rummaging around in the background followed by keys jiggling. Eventually, Shinsuke came to pick you up because it’s getting late and he’s worried. When Shinsuke found you sitting on the bench by the river, he swear he felt calmness and peace inside with you.

“I’m sorry, darling. I invalidated how you feel.”

Shinsuke will speak softly to you and will not hesitate to acknowledge his mistakes. If you chose to stay silent, he’ll understand it and will just watch the sunset with you. Shinsuke knows that it’s his mistake and he’s in no place to decide when to be forgiven. He may look calm but he’s actually felt fear inside because he doesn’t want to lose you.

If you decided to forgive him, Shinsuke will squeeze your hand as a sign of affirmation and comfort. No matter what decision you’ll pick, expect that Shinsuke will spend the following days making it up to you with his small actions.

He wanted you to feel safe and loved with him because you are one of the things that he treasures the most.

4K notes · View notes

chappellroansdreamgirl · 2 months

Text

good luck, babe! [e.w x fem!reader.]

chapter one.

author's note!<3 - this is inspired by chappell roan's unreleased song good luck, babe! i lllloooovveee chappel roan! this was originally going to be just a LONG ASS one-shot but i don't think i can write any more tonight 😭😭 . BUT I REALLY WANNA PUBLISH IT SO HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS LIKE IT!!!! also forgive me if there's any grammar/spelling errors... i'm posting this at 12:59 am🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 . reblogs and comments are SO appreciated!!! i busted my ass for y'all 🤗 .

content warnings - SLIGHT angst, reader has internalized homophobia and is outright homophobic to ellie, reader is in the closet, ellie is a lovergirl and she's going through the five stages of grief, modern!au, reader gets sexually assaulted/harrassed, LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING ELSE!!!!

special thanks to!!!!: @sharkfemme and @dykedearest FOR HELPING ME OUT!!!!!! and also LYNN AND MAXIM!!! ALL FOUR OF YOU ARE AMAZING BETA READERS I'M KISSING YOU ALL THROUGH THE PHONE RN!!!

------------------------------------------------------------

it's fine, it's cool.

ellie's grip on her glass got impossibly tighter as her eyes never left your figure, your body swaying to whatever shitty mainstream pop music that was playing.

ellie williams hated secrets. she hated surprises, and she hated being in love with you.

she hated the way you would ghost her after spending a week at her apartment. she hated the way you would stop responding to her texts after you would leave. she hated the way she would let you back in when you needed her, she hated how much she loved to comfort you. she hated how gentle you were when it was just the two of you, compared to how cruel you got in public.

you can say that we ain't nothin' when you know the truth.

ellie took her hand off the glass and gripped the bar table instead, afraid that if she broke another glass she'd be banned from the bar.

you were like forbidden fruit to her, or maybe that was what she was to you.

she knew you weren't ready to come out of the closet. she understood that. so, why keep on playing this fucking game with her?

why did she even still feed into it?

i guess i'm, the fool.

the closet was made out of glass, really. you would stare at every woman's body that passed you, your eyes would scan up their short dress, she could see the curiosity and desire in your face.

but every single time after you two would hook up, there was always a new excuse.

"i'm not a fucking lesbian, ellie. i just... don't like men sometimes." sometimes?

"they're just stupid thoughts... it's not like i could ever be with a woman." but you had been. you had been with her.

"ok but... do you even count as a woman? you wear boxers, you don't even know the meaning of the term ladylike and... i don't know- look at your fuckin' hair! the closest you'd get is a transwoman." that one had hurt her. she didn't talk to you for a month after you made that comment. and then you appeared in her apartment complex hallway, sobbing hysterically.

and of course, she took you back.

like she always does.

with her arms out like an angel, through the car sun-roof.

she hated playing this fucking game with you. it was killing her.

every single time she'd see you at this bar, she imagined you dragging her onto the dancefloor. she imagined being able to walk out with your hand in her's, waking up to your groggy groans when the sun invaded the sacred space of your shared bedroom, you'd hide your face in her neck, mumbling something about, "shouldn't have drank that much last night."

every single time you pulled this shit on her, it felt like her already shattered heart broke off into impossibly tinier pieces.

"i wish you were a boy." crack.

"it's not easy for me like it is for you, els. i don't know the first thing about being proud of myself." crack.

"this hurts me more than you, baby." shattered. her heart was shattered.

it hurts you more than her?

the fucking audacity.

the nights she spent crying next to your sleeping figure.

the hours she'd spent texting you and checking her phone second after second after goddamn second.

the way she would ignore every single obligation she had to pick you up from whatever shit-hole situation you had found yourself in, immediately and happily dropping anything to make sure you were ok.

and it hurt you more than it hurt her?

you didn't know shit about hurt. about misery. about love.

i don't wanna cut it off!

her friends had told her to cut you off. her therapist said in his own professional shrink way that you would never be good for her. at least not while you weren't even good for yourself.

but she couldn't let you go. it seemed like every reason that she had to leave you, fuelled her determination to stay.

but you don't wanna call it love!

every single time you somehow broke her heart in a new way, she fell harder in love with you.

you just wanna love someone that calls you baby!-

ellie was pulled out of her internal anger when your eyes met hers. although it was only a few seconds ago, it felt like she was staring into your eyes for an eternity.

don't fuckin' wave, ellie. look away- LOOK AWAY. , she thought to herself as she was unable to look away from your beautiful irises.

you had this slight smile on your face, the dancefloor's led lights adding a shimmer to your already twinkling eyes.

it felt like her melancholy thoughts had lifted and increased all at the same time by the sight of you acknowledging her presence.

ellie went against her better judgement, her slender hand flying up to wave at you. her lips quirked upwards gently as she scanned your delighted face.

your light expression quickly turned into one of frustration, suppressing your grin with a tightening of your lips before pulling the nearest man close to you in for an unexpected kiss, opening your eyes once you knew the mystery man's were closed, locking your eyes onto ellie's before closing them once more.

the light had died in ellie's stomach after that. her happy hand that was raised in the air faltered painfully back to her side as she watched the man's hands roam down from your sides... to your waist... to your ass.

you can kiss a hundred boys in bars,

those butterflies that she had just felt in her tummy had died slowly, turning into knots of anguish.

she watched your hands cradle the man's face. those same hands that had counted each and every freckle on her face on a snowy morning that had you both stranded in her apartment.

those same hands that had a death-grip on her back as you sobbed into her shoulder every other weeknight as she tried to muffle her own cries.

those same hands that had shoved her violently as she finally tried to stand her ground one afternoon you showed up knocking on her door. "you know what... fuck you, ellie! i don't know why i keep on doing this shit with you anyways." you said, before storming off. you called her later that night. she answered. "i'm sorry, els. i'm sorry, i'll do better, i'm so sorry-" , "it's ok, baby. it's ok. i know you didn't mean it. you're ok baby, i forgive you."

shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling!

she would've stayed in that seat, stewed in her anger for a bit more before the tears inevitably came falling down if it wasn't for the way the dude's hands creeped under your skin-tight jeans and how you flinched away from his grasp, breaking the kiss immediately with a nervous giggle creeping up.

the guy obviously took it as an invitation to do more, placing his hand back on your waist and agressively pulling you closer.

you can say it's just the way you are,

ellie's head tilted as she watched this go down.

what she wanted to do was launch that creep into the nearest wall and make sure he never tainted your body again. but she didn't want to get up too soon, she wanted to be certain that you needed help, whether you wanted it or not.

your hand stopped him from coming any closer, placing it right before his chest. you said something along the lines of, "don't want to do anything." .

make a new excuse, another stupid reason-

instead of him being a decent human being and leaving you alone, his face quickly turned into one of anger. his jaw jutted out as he tried to pull you in again, leaving you thrashing against his body.

how was no one else seeing this? why was no one else doing anything?!

she didn't even have time to process what she was about to do. her feet were on the ground, marching their way towards you before she could even think about her course of action in a smart way.

"let me go, fuckin' creep!" she heard you shriek as she grew closer to you, attempting to elbow him in the chest.

ellie felt like no matter how fast she was walking, she would never make it to you in time.

he laughed tauntingly as he grinded against. "i'm the creep, bitch?! you kissed me f-"

his last word was stolen from him as ellie forcefully pushed him off you with and landed a blow against his nose.

he groaned in pain, falling to the ground as he cradled his now-broken-nose.

you gasped in shock and horror. "what the fuck, ellie?!" you scolded her. as if you would've been fine on your own.

she ignored your words though, pulling the guy's hand away as she forced another punch to his face.

now people were finally looking.

she didn't stop until she felt your hands on her stomach, pulling her away from the scene.

"she fuckin'... said... no!..." ellie's voice thundered, erratic breaths in between her words before bringing one last painful kick to his face before letting you lead her out of the bar and into the night air.

you didn't stop even after you two were at the entrance door of the establishment, you made sure the two of you were far enough away that ellie wouldn't be caught if the police were called.

she couldn't help but feel those stupid fucking butterflies again as your hand gripped hers and felt a little disappointed when you dropped it, suddenly all too aware that you were still in public.

her green eyes met your own, yours filled with anger and chaos... hers filled with love.

"hey baby." the auburnette sighed out simply, that stupid love-grin back on her face as she was finally close to you.

your eyebrows furrowed in disbelief as your hands went to massage your temples. you let out a humorless giggle. "you're so... fucking stupid, ellie!" you exclaimed, shoving her chest as if she was in the wrong.

her grin turned into a confused frown as she surrendered her hands in the air, her eyebrows mirroring your own now. "wh-wh....what-"

good luck, babe!

"god, you have this severe goddamn saviour complex or some shit!... i was fine! i was fucking fine on my own before you marched in and assaulted that guy."

well good luck, babe!

you gaslighted beautifully, defending the man you knew nothing about over the woman who was fatally in love with you, she almost believed you.

ellie's frown turned into an angry smile as she brought a hand to gently wipe over the bridge of her nose, a mannerism of her's she had developed whenever she got frustrated with you.

"assau-... ok, sure-... you wanna talk about assault, baby? that fuckin' guy would've assaulted you if i didn't step in. he was assaul-"

you shut your eyes tightly the way you do when you wanted to block something out that ellie was obviously right about. you shook your head stubbornly. "gggoddd ellie- it was my fault! i wanted it and then i didn't. i shouldn't have- i shouldn't have kissed him in the first place. i gave him mixed signals, i-"

you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling!-

your eyebrows grew dangerously closer to your face as you cradled your head in your hands.

ellie was quick to walk right back to you, caressing your arms.

"what? baby, no. no, it's not your fault... that- that fuckin' guy... hey... look at me, sweetheart." she cooed lovingly.

good luck, babe!

you slowly brought your hands away from your face, meeting her breathtaking green eyes.

you wanted to fall into her arms, you wanted to thank her for coming to your rescue and kiss her and confess to her how scared you truly were.

but you didn't. you never did.

your slightly calm expression that came over you once you met your secret lover's gaze turned into one of annoyance. ellie was, like always, taken by surprise as you thrashed against her grip, just like the way you did with that monster in the bar.

good luck, babe!

ellie's eyes blurred with tears as she watched your face turn into a grimace.

"fuck you, ellie." you said quietly as you broke free from her hands, storming off into the night. leaving her. like always.

you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.