#(yes i know i'm a queer woman and i'm talking about a movie full of male gaiety but shhhhh don't nitpick) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whitedemon-ladydeath · 6 months

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yeah see seeing all these ✨️city people✨️ and people with a lot of privilege and classism routinely calling rural iowans (SPECIFICALLY iowans) 'hicks' makes me angry and it makes me sad

we're not fucking STUPID. and a lot of the "stupidity" is often intentionally CREATED by making sure our schools are underfunded without access to proper education to build critical thinking skills and proper RESEARCH skills and limited access to news outside of newspapers and fox news. it's intentional. it's by design.

Educated rural folks who have the luxury (yes LUXURY and PRIVILEGE) to go to college to get educated LEAVE the areas where they could be the most beneficial for change and making communities diverse and more progressive and it furthers right wing, republican agendas by keeping people without access to resources and desperate and angry with the wrong people

"well you have access to the internet" yeah and the internet is full of misinformation and a lot of people are not taught how to look for credible sources or websites or how to look at biased language in writing so they ARE more susceptible to propaganda via fox News and the internet. you know what the internet also has? targeted ads and algorithms making sure you keep seeing the same kind of content and people who don't know DON'T know

however a lot of practical skills? knowledge that isn't BOOK SMART? I know plenty and they're so, so, so smart. but all I see from liberals and leftists is the refusal to use layman and simplified terms and "um! actually you need to educate yourself ☝🏻" and use unnecessarily difficult phrases

you say "defund the police" and people hear "be lawless and have no safety networks to prevent crime" instead of trying to find less #edgy slogans for what you ACTUALLY mean

you don't know what you don't know and calling us fucking hicks and ignorant isn't helping anyone. Tumblr was my first experience outside of Facebook where I learned about asexuality? it Didn't have an algorithm so I'll was able to be immersed in different cultures and view points

I'm not trying to make excuses for anyone being in rural Iowa for being hateful or racist or queerphobic but after living in the city for the last few years, I still see the same shit. it's just less covert in rural Iowa and in your face and I see leftists and liberals using their proximity to cities, and the problems in rural america as a Shield for their own bigoted and hateful behavior

I remember being on Tumblr, slowly inching into the queer community spaces, bec I wasn't used to online spaces, i was too poor at the time to have access to computers [2013+] and I came across the terms "trans man" and "trans woman" and I thought that meant a someone assigned male at birth who was trans and identified as a woman was called a 'trans man' bec I didn't know the terminology or how it was supposed to be used. I didn't know "transsexual" was considered a slur and I got attacked online for accidently using the wrong terminology because I couldn't remember the term transgender

I was from rural Iowa, a notoriously white, cis het area, fairly religious area, without a lot of access to the internet so I just. didn't know. and then i was afraid of ever saying anything again or asking questions. pls for the love of God use discernment and don't immediately vilify and attack well meaning people for not knowing what they don't know. that is EXACTLY how you can prevent people from ever being willing to grow and become educated

I remember watching the movie "Boys Don't Cry" with my mom about Brandon Teena, a trans man, and we both didn't know enough or understand enough about trans people we were unintentionally misgendering him when we talked about it but we both were so empathetic and heart broken for him

rural people I know are Prideful! they're constantly working to make ends meet and they have pride in themselves and their communities, often to the point it's at their own detriment and republican law makers KEEP it that way and rely on the classism and anger and diversion to keep it that way

a yt rural American in Appalachia is going to have more in common with a black American living in the city in the Projects more than we ever will with upper class yt folks. the wealthy yt #liberals will mock us and call us fucking stupid and ignorant and get in their own way of wanting any kind of progression. it! is never! black and white!!! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BE KIND

why do you think rural Republicans don't trust the government? couldn't possibly have anything to do with the government IGNORING us or preying on poor folks who live paycheck to paycheck. of COURSE it makes sense they'd be leery about government wide programs. the government DOESNT CARE ABOUT US. and most rural "Republicans" I know aren't even republican. they don't have the time to invest in politics when we have to Work and can't Miss Work to go vote or find ways around road blocks.

most people don't know enough and vote for people they know and most don't Know democrats or their policies or their progressive goals and you know WHY that often happens? BECAUSE DEMOCRATS IGNORE THEM IN FAVOR OF CITIESSSSS. they call them STUPID and IGNORANT and can you really blame people for "not voting in their best interest" when the people who "care about their best interest" are people calling them stupid and ignorant and HICKS

I've been around Republicans in the city and Republicans in rural Iowa and if you look and listen close enough the *reasoning* for their racism (especially) tends to differ. racism is a social construct (that does NOT mean it isn't real or not important) and it was used specifically as a tool to create tension and a divide between the poor yt folks and the poc *by* yt, wealthy capitalists. the Irish were finally allowed to be #white bec they were identifying with the struggles of the marginalized folks being targeted just like THEY were in Ireland by Europe

the cold hatred I have seen from rural Republicans vs city, wealthy Republicans has been vastly different. don't get me wrong there are plenty of rural Republicans that are just as disgusting (I'm related to some lmao). often a lot of racism i see from rural folks is tied to anger and desperation from the lack of jobs and its designed that way. a lot of the racism from yt wealthy folks is tied to greed and wealth and capitalism. Donald Trump is a blaring example of an unchecked, racist, vile, classist man

I'm sorry I've had a REALLY bad week and living in a city with people who are so self centered and selfish and refuse to help has only made me miss home and despite all of the raging issues of rural america, I know a lot of kind and well meaning people who are just doing their best and willing to help you because we fucking know the government doesn't care about us

just. be kind. you don't know what you don't know and I think a lot of well meaning people shouldn't be getting attacked for it. empathy and grace should be given (when able) and people should be allowed to grow from innocent ignorance and mistakes

intersectionality and empathy and grace are so important and honestly rural america can be really beautiful and it really sucks to see it given up on in such a cruel way

I follow a person on tiktok who really embraces the idea of radical love and I think more people should too

#rural iowa #rural america #classism #intersectionality

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symphonic-scream · 11 months

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The Phantom Queers Notes

Thanks to the ever patient Cap for putting up with me gushing about them nonstop! Love you cap

Anyways. Ahem.

Firstly; the Noir's mural. I said it was based off of official art from Mementos Mission? Yeah so I wanted to add that image to this post so anyone who hasn't seen it can see it and know what I meant

So it's like this. But with more vines.

And now onto the notes

Haru's dad slowly adapting to his daughter being with someone like Makoto and just,

Okumura: invite your wife to our next brunch. I'm ready to have a meal with the person who makes you glow

Haru: are you ready for that? Neither of us want to push you

Okumura: I'm ready. I love you, and you love her so much. It's about time I let you show me such

This is after like. Eight years of him knowing Makoto. There were some very awkward talks in the beginning but mans did his research! He knows how to be respectful!

He even frames a photo of their little family and keeps it on his desk, with little trans and lesbian flag stickers in the corners. He updates it every year as his grandsons grow older

(THATS RIGHT I HAVE MORE ABOUT THE SONS YOULL GET TO LEARN ABOUT THEM)

Teenage Makoto and Haru going to see a spy movie as their first date as girlfriends, Makoto nervous because sure Haru knows she's trans already, but what if-

They end up making out halfway through in the back of the theatre.

Haru: this was lovely! We should go on some more dates, yes?

Makoto: y-yeah! That would be very nice,

And Haru gives her a goodbye kiss, a full one right out in the middle of the street, waving her fingers with a little wink as she gets on her train, Makoto just standing there watching her new girlfriend walk away with her heart beating out of her chest

Their first place together is a dorm at university. They push the beds together to make a double, though they sleep so closely they'd only need a single. Little flags on the bag of the door, little polaroids from dates and hangouts with their new friends on a wall, the way Makoto's study space is sparse, with clicky pens and things to safely chew on, and Haru's having plants and life and so many colours-

Makoto finding out Haru's actually pregnant and just. She's so relieved. She didn't ruin it all for her love,

But Haru would've been so happy either way, even if their kid didn't have Makoto's eyes or, like their second and third, her rebellion and cute little nose-

Okay gonna lay out the sons real quick! They have three sons; Seiji is their first born, has Makoto's sharp red eyes, Haru's curls, and a general softer shape to him. When he's like middle school age he goes a bit emo, remains into dark colours and music. And he loves to cook! Loves food

Then there's the twins, Kazuto and Hiroto. Dark curls, Haru's softer eyes, but they have that Niijima spark, they look more like Makoto did as a kid. Identical twins too! Pure evil. Menaces. Cunning and with sharp grins, their moms are lucky they aren't into arson

Sae, just barely out of university, now the legal guardian of her little brother and just. Sitting there as this little middle schooler comes out to her, and-

Well. She has to do everything she can for her sister.

Makoto: here, let's look at my childhood photos

Hifumi: you, do that? Look at photos from before you transitioned?

Makoto: it's different for everyone. I'm fine with it, I know Yusuke has a select few saved, Futaba doesn't like it for other reasons-

Makoto: I did change my name though. We have nothing that remains with my dead name on it. That is where I draw my boundaries. I cannot handle hearing it on my worst days

Hifumi: I see

Makoto: it wasn't me. And while I'm not as feminine as you or Haru, I'm still a woman

Hifumi: I'm starting to make sense of this all, thank you so much

Makoto: that's what family is for, sis

-new note-

Haru: if you want to discuss, hm, reassignment procedures, with someone, I know Yusuke is rather open about his. He'll even give you his professional's number

Hifumi: why are you saying it that way?

Haru: Makoto has, a thing with. *Hospitals*. So, I tend to reword those things

-new note-

Makoto: I'll wake up early and make Haru breakfast in bed for our first mother's day, I'll have the little one strapped to my chest nothing can go wrong!

Hifumi: what happened to you

Makoto, sitting on the kitchen floor covered in flour and butter, her infant son playing with Johanna on the couch: I tried to cook with a baby. Help me please

Hifumi entertains the baby while Makoto makes a plate of scones, an omelette, and a little fruit salad for her wife

"I just get so distracted when he's with me. I lost all focus"

"yeah but the flour?"

"I was measuring it. Saw Seiji clap. So, I clapped."

"Ah."

Haru wakes up to her son giggling on Makoto's side of the bed, her wife tracing soft kisses up from her hand

"happy mother's day, baby"

"Happy mother's day, Love"

They both have the day off, and just spend a nice day with their lil guy

Haru: if this is mother's day, I wonder what you'll do for my birthday?

Makoto: ah, well Seiji won't be helping me with those plans. That'll be a very special night out, just us two. After a morning with his plans of course

Haru: I'm so lucky I have you,

Makoto: sjdbskdhxidbdj baby,,

-new note-

Makoto: happy birthday baby

Haru: you, bought that small building between us and the shop next door?

Makoto: let's go inside and you'll see your gift. Full home gym, with a little sauna and hot tub room in the back

Haru: ...not gonna lie Love this looks more like a gift for you

Makoto: did you notice the lounge chairs? This is a private show for you~ I know you hate coming to the gym to watch me, so-

Haru: I LOVE IT

Makoto: you can have a private showing whenever you'd like, baby. All for you

Haru: can we, have a go right now?

Makoto: of course. Are you okay with me working on arms and upper body?

Haru: YES

haru just in her lil lounge chair aggresively sipping water

cause shes thirsty

(green was Cap akfhdj)

Staring at the back muscles

Makoto has to wear a long sleeve shirt to her run with Ryuji the next morning. Normally she runs in the like, sports bra thing. But her arms, back, and abs are. Covered. From Haru enjoying her gift

Haru: I'm gonna kiss every muscle on you

Makoto: oh wow

Ryuji: whyre you wearing a shirt? You hate the sweat cling

Makoto: Haru's birthday yesterday

Ryuji: ...fuck I forgot to get her anything she's gonna kill me- wait. GROSS DUDE DONT TELL ME ABOUT-

Makoto: I DIDNT MAN STOP YELLING

Makoto and Haru at like a parents night for the preschool Seiji goes to just trying to ignore the straight gossip going around all around them

One couple: hehe we're trying to give her a sibling, trying for a baby is soooo much work

Makoto: ...they're just openly admitting they fu-

Haru: shh, Love. I know. Don't get too stressed though, you have to be in good health for our appointment tomorrow.

Makoto: think we should tell people we're also trying? But heavily imply we're just fu-

Haru: yes. Absolutely. Put your hand in my back pocket, I'll leave a little mark on your neck-

Makoto excitedly explains this at the appointment they go to the next morning, she's had to take those. Relax pills before so she's a lil loopy, and Haru just smiles so tenderly as they run the tests on her wife. She loves their little family,, so glad the medical field has a way for them to have kids (I'm making shit up idk man. Au magic this world made it possible I don't wanna think about it too hard)

Makoto: ...do you also find it weird we only have sons

Haru: shh don't think Love. Happy moment, no gender thoughts. Hold one of the twins, be mesmerized by the baby

Haru adores her wife and their sons so much. Even if their oldest turns emo and the twins are feral demons

Akira: when I first met you two you were getting the drunkest out of the group at every night out, dancing all over each other- I'm pretty sure you two were making out more than you weren't

Makoto: I remember our uni days, ha

Haru: mm, good times

Ann: you guys were. All over each other then

Haru: it was our first time getting to be open about us! It was exciting.

Makoto: we're just as all over each other now, we just know how to close doors

Ryuji: and DONT ACT LIKE YOU AND SHIHO DONT JUST MAKE OUT ON THE COUCH

Ann, three drinks in: you think that's all we do on that couch?

Yusuke: ...I think we need to sober her up before my roommates kill each other

Akechi, already grabbing the hose: on it

Ann and Ryuji, very wet the next minute:

Akechi: problem solved. Hey, lesbians. If you get too handsy you're getting sprayed next

Haru holds her hands up in the "don't shoot" position

Hifumi just sits to the side and drinks with Futaba, watching them all

Futaba: you want to stay on our couch tonight? Going home with Mrs and Mrs "Horny Drunk" won't lead to good things for your mental health

Hifumi: ...please tell me you're not speaking from experience

Futaba: me? No. Goro? Oh yes. Watching him be unable to look at either of them for four months was hilarious

Hifumi makes it back home around noon and notices only Makoto is in the house space

Hifumi: hey, where's Haru?

Makoto: hm? Oh, she's working downstairs. Want some tea? I can make you a plate of eggs?

Hifumi: Haru out drank everyone, how is she functioning?

Makoto: she's somehow immune to the hangover. Nah, I'm kidding. She drank water between every drink. Then it was the Gatorade and coffee mix, with a plate of my "Hangover Eggs". Neither of us have ever had a rough morning. Not since the first month of uni

Hifumi: ...I'll take a plate of the eggs, please

The day Haru finds out she's pregnant is. One of the best days in their household

She and Makoto had been having monthly appointments with their doctor over the last year, and. She'd felt off since the week after the last one but- she thought takin the test was wishful thinking

But the eight tests all read positive and- man she's gotta think of a way to tell Makoto

Before she gets a chance some dude tries to rob Noir's, barely nicks her with his knife but she goes to the hospital as a precaution cause tetanus

Makoto gets a call from one of the workers telling her her wife is at the hospital, they were robbed, and she gets there and is so relieved to see Haru looking alright, just some bandages around her arm, and Haru just Smiles

Eventually a doctor comes in to give Haru the all clear, but he pauses before they leave like: oh, and we did check. You're coming along just fine

Makoto: what does that mean?

Doctor: the pregnancy. Ms Okumura is early on, but all is going well

Makoto: ...it worked? Youre-

Haru: surprise?

Makoto is excitedly telling everyone for the next few months. Sure Haru was the one who wanted children more of the two, but that doesn't mean Makoto didn't want this. Her wife is pregnant! They're having a kid! And by some miracle, it's their kid

Ann: wait. How

Yusuke: but. You're on estrogen? There should be no way-

Ryuji: GROSS YOU GUYS DID IT?!

Shiho: ...Ryuji, stay on point here

Haru: science

Makoto: lesbian magic

Goro: I'm not watching your little spawn

Akira: dibs on godfather!

Futaba: in surprised you kept it a secret this long. Both of you suck at secrets

Makoto: no we don't

Haru: ...love you accidentally told me you were going to propose three days before you did it

They're much more open when they decide to go for a second kid, mostly because they're more convinced it'll work this time

Ryuji: gross

Ann: we already went over this. Science baby. Not like with straight people

Ryuji: but still

Makoto: you've known us for like ten years. How are you still like this

Ryuji: IDK YOU GUYS ARE LIKE THE PSEUDO MOMS I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT YALL FUCKING

Makoto: so stop thinking about it?

Ryuji: ...oh.

Ann: DUDE SERIOUSLY

Then there's a bit about Ann and Shiho, how they decide to have a donor baby, and. End up with Triplets. Two daughters; Asami, Nikko. And then a son, Tsukito

Makoto: Seiji, turn off the TV, go play with the trio

Seiji: but mom, they're playing field hospital again. They're gonna make me the patient

Makoto: buddy, sometimes we have to make sacrifices. You and I will have a day to ourselves if you do it, okay?

Seiji: can we go to the farmers market?

Makoto: uh sure

Seiji has the red eyes but the twins are pure evil

Makoto: Kazu, Hiro, how did you get up there

The twins, literally on the roof: climbed

The twins have the like innocent Haru smile. Devious

There's cunning behind those eyes. They have the Niijima mind

Kazu: mom I don't feel good

Makoto: oh no, what happened- ...why is there a pencil in your arm

Hiro: hi mom

Makoto: ...both of you. What happened. Why are there pencils in your arms

Kazu and Hiro: we wanted to see if we could stab each other hard enough

Makoto: get in the car we're going to the hospital

Kazu: we're going on a hunger strike

Hiro: we want the bigger room. There's two of us

Seiji: I'm older. Nice try.

Kazu: we will make you give in

Hiro: I'm studying up on CIA torture tactics

Kazu: we both take martial arts. You will give us the room

Seiji: oh yeah? You think I won't survive? Try me

Makoto: baby the boys are waging war

Haru: eh, they're tire each other out. Feel up for a workout?

Makoto: HARU WE HAVE A PROBLEM

Haru, who was working the shop downstairs: Love? What's wrong

Makoto: I lost the babies

Haru: ...what

Makoto: I didn't think they'd figure out how to open the door i- baby the babies fucking got out-

Seiji: they're under the couch they just opened it and went under the couch

Makoto: what did we do to deserve this

Haru: I mean, we did fuck at a party and break the urn with someone's grandmother's ash's in uni

Makoto: oh yeah. And then we blamed Goro

Uni Makoto and Haru are just. A different breed. Them in high school was sweet, them after is domestic with a hint of spice, but. The in between.

They all go to the grand opening of Noir and. Just stare at how normal the two are

Ann: no visible hickies... It's a miracle

Akira: I can't believe it. They've been tamed

Haru: hi darling, think you'll lie on your stomach for me?

Makoto: ngh, wait, its-

Haru: don't think about it. We'll get your shot over with quick, and then we can have the day in bed. I promise. We took today off for a reason

Makoto: nooo I don't want it,

Haru: you're just saying that, you love you. You won't be the you you worked so hard for if you weren't brave enough for a little shot

Makoto: ...will it be quick?

Haru: I'll even numb the area with ice

Makoto: and we can kiss all day?

Haru: whatever you want

Makoto: fine. Give me the e,

Haru: you call me baby and yet,

Makoto: OW

Haru: that's the ice, Love

Haru: there, all done.

Makoto: did you use the

Haru: yes, I used the Buchimaru band aid

Makoto: I love you so much

Haru: I love you too

Makoto: kiss time?

Haru: I suppose~

Makoto later on: hey, thanks for not listening. I'm already feeling better

Haru: I know darling, it's hard to stab you sometimes but I know it's what makes my girl happiest

Makoto: mm,

Sae: since you two are going to be rooming together when you go off to uni, it's time I passed on the torch

Haru: oh?

Sae: Makoto is a coward about her hormone shots. No matter how much she says she doesn't want it, she does. Unless she has a serious conversation about detransitioning on a non shot day, don't listen. Give her a lollipop or something, anything else to focus on. She does best lying down. She can't kick you if you sit on her calves-

Haru: i- have you been doing this all this time?

Sae: yes. And now we will have the awkward experience of me helping you give her the shot. It'll be weird. But it'll be your responsibility as her partner

Haru: I'm ready, Chief

Makoto: hey, sis- Haru? Wait, no

Sae: yes. Pants off. Lie down.

Makoto: NO WAIT I CHANGED MY MIND I WANNA BE A GUY

Haru: will you lie down for me my Love?

Makoto: ...uh yeah

Sae: pants.

Makoto: bite me.

Sae: Makoto, you know this is what's best for you

Makoto: lies

Haru: I'll hold your hand if that helps? And give you a kiss after for being so brave?

Makoto: you're much more convincing than sis

Sae: alright Haru, that's it. You did it, congrats

Makoto: I'm dead. You killed me

Haru: you're rather attractive for a corpse

Sae: I'm leaving now. I'll bring home dinner. Don't do anything stupid

Hifumi: oh I do my own shots

Haru: my wife is just a big baby about them, and I mean that affectionately

Makoto: yeah I. Don't do well with anything of that sort

Haru: our fertility appointments are. Very planned. She takes one of those relaxation pills before we go

Makoto: it's tough but it's worth it for the chance to give Haru anything she desires

Makoto is the most doting wife while Haru is pregnant. Foot rubs, vitamins, skin creams and talking to their son every day

"today your mama gave your mom her shot. That's right, your mama shot me"

"Makoto-"

"just kidding kid. She helped me feel more like myself, and I love her so much. You've got the best mama ever"

"They have the best mom too"

Haru: ...Makoto?

Makoto: it's 2 am,, what is it baby?

Haru: I want. Cold soba noodles

Makoto: easy enough,

Haru: covered in chocolate

Makoto: ...

Slow dancing in the kitchen, Makoto behind Haru, hands entwined over Haru's dark apron, heads leaned together

Makoto: a night to ourselves,

Haru: Hifumi moved out a year ago, and the kids are staying at the Quad,, so it's just us

Makoto: shall we treat ourselves? I can make you steak? Break out the good wine? We can have a nice bath, turn in early for some, us time

Haru: can you make baked potato with the steak?

Makoto: anything for you

Haru: carry me to bed later?

Makoto: of course

Buff Makoto and her pudgy baker wife, And their emo chef son and two demon spawns

Thinking back to scared little high school Makoto, more scrawny than anything, and petite Haru seated beside her, their pinkies barely entwined, both blushing and looking away

To Uni them, with Makoto playing rugby recreationally and Haru being very much a fan of that, them making out and boinking literally anywhere possible, somehow like top of their classes while still going all out for the fun side of things

Makoto being very awkward with Haru's dad.

Kunikazu: so. You are. Transgender?

Makoto: yep.

Kunikazu: you want to be, a boy?

Makoto: w-wrong direction, sir

Haru: you can't do anything, father. I love her.

Kunikazu: I see

Makoto: ...can I go home? And hire a bodyguard?

Kunikazu: I suppose you two can live together. Just. I do not want a surprise grandchild

Haru: that's not even possible

Makoto: yeah I'm leaving

Haru: father and I will be having monthly brunch

Makoto: oh, joy,

Haru: just us. You're not invited

Makoto: ...did he-

Haru: I uninvited you

Makoto: I love you so much

Haru: no marks, I'm seeing my dad tomorrow! Makoto-

Makoto: but baby,

Haru: ...no visible marks at least

Makoto: ...fuck I forgot the rule

Haru: it's, well. I didn't try to stop you,

Makoto: your dad is gonna murder me

Haru: he won't, he likes you, he's just. Still in his learning phase

Makoto: yeah but you're gonna walk in tomorrow looking like a dalmatian

Haru inventing the Gatorade coffee in university after a night of. Heavy drinking with her girlfriend. Waking up and feeling like death itself and just. Trying to make coffee but she's barely looking and brews it with. Gatorade instead of water

Haru: I know you spoke to Yusuke, but Makoto gave me permission to tell you about her surgery experience

Hifumi: oh?

Haru: she had top, which I'm sure you've noticed by now. She likes to ditch the shirt more than usual

Hifumi: yes

Haru: but she had such a horrible time recovering she cancelled for bottom and just. Never got it

Hifumi: oh. And she's okay with that?

Haru: it works for her. Makoto's never been, violently dysphoric about her body. Not since I met her. Her voice was one thing, but now she's at her best

Hifumi: thank you for sharing, and tell her thanks too

Haru: of course! And let me know if you need someone for care afterwards or to drive you to and from

Haru dealing with miserable Makoto post op from top and just

Haru: my poor girl,

Makoto: I'm dying,,

Makoto: but at least I'll die with boobs,

Haru: okay let's give you some more pain meds, HEY DONT TOUCH, MAKOTO-

Makoto: ow,,,

Makoto: I just wanted to feel,

Haru: I know you and your hands, but give it some recovery time, please

Sae walking into Makoto's room during their first sleepover in high school and just. Seeing the two all curled up, the content looks on their faces, She sees Makoto stir and the minor look of horror on her face at getting caught by her sister but, Sae just smiles, whispers a loud goodnight, and turns back

Haru nuzzles closer, and Makoto just. Smiles.

Them watching Seiji in a school play and just trying not to fight the group of mom's at the back of the room who are chatting

Makoto: the disrespect-

Haru: Love his line is coming up, make sure the camera is on!

Makoto: wait, shit, where did the twins go?

Haru: ...we can worry about bailing them out later

Surprisingly that's it?? But one last joke Cap made that I felt I needed to share

"of course Makoto's trans her Persona is a Transformer"

#long post #the phantom queers #makoto niijima #haru okumura #okujima #makoharu

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dichromaticdyke · 2 months

Note

re: skwisgaar attraction myth debunk turned feminist critique (AMAZING post btw) - feel free to ignore/not respond if it's too much/incomprehensible (english is fake)/rambly

honestly i feel like said post gets into the lesser discussed aspect of the mtl fandom as i believe a lot of us want to view it as different than other fandoms with a majority male cast; but it's not. this is a fandom full of misogyny-affected folks, especially of tme persuasion, who never outgrew or if new, elect to partake in, ye olde fandom habits of internalized misogyny shining through like it's their goddamn guiding light.

i dont know exactly how to phrase this in a demographically correct way, but it feels like despite the mtl fandom being overwhelmingly queer and a lot of the misogyny-affected tme folks being trans... the "i'm not like other girls" mentality was not broken out of; people decided "i am not a woman" and suddenly unpacking internalized misogyny wasn't a thing they decided they had to do anymore!

like. it feels like mtl fandom is about being "quirky" and shipping dethklok together but god forbid you wanna focus on the women in the show; abigail, amber, trindle, etc. it's... a tale as old as time (as those of us who have been in fandom spaces for a while would know) and it's so fucking saddening.

i've seen media analysis and critique of this show (MOSTLY YOURS!!) but more often than not it feels like the fandom doesn't want to delve into that either; they like mtl on the surface level. because it's edgy. because it's metal. because it's funny. because they find xyz member of the cast sexy. and i feel like this interwined internalized misogyny being projected out via mtl fandom behaviors with this complete lack of regard for the quality aspects of the show and the depths of the characters within it... i dunno. as i said, it's saddening.

...again, i hope this wasn't too word salad-like, or rambly, or long, or anything, but oh my god your post got the gears turning in my brain head so full of all the thoughts ever-

and yet again, AMAZING analysis, incredible dedication, and fantastic feminist critique.

don’t worry darling this wasn’t too long of an ask and i find it VERY intriguing.

because yeah i do absolutely fall into both camps of this to an extent. i love shipping the boys and talking about them, because i do love them as characters, but yeah it’s so easy to fall into the trap of not caring about the female characters in the show. and i would agree, again to an extent, that the female characters were not given much care or time from the show to properly be explored in a meaningful way (though, how much of that was a deliberate choice by the crew and how much of that just happened due to adult swim meddling in the latter years, we’ll probably never know). i always find it interesting, for example, how fandom will latch onto magnus but not care about abigail, despite abigail having more screentime and having a major impact on the plot of the show (had the band never broke up over her, salacia wouldn’t have attacked when he did, forcing them to finally learn about the prophecy and the doomstar arguably before they were ready, AND without salacia’s attack, the revengencers wouldn’t have been able to catch dethklok at the funeral and kidnap toki and abigail). of course with abigail, it’s not just misogyny playing a role there, but racism too, though luckily there have been some people calling out fandom treatment of her.

i’ve talked a bit before about how much it sucks that abigail wasn’t given really anything to work with, but it also makes sense given that the show is from dethklok’s point of view and they don’t really care about her either. that’s why it feels so strange (and SHOULD feel strange) to see nathan proposing to abigail in aotd—we didn’t know anything about her because he didn’t know anything about her, and that was kind of the whole point of that arc in the movie. women are objects to dethklok, and because of that, they become objects in the show, and i do think the statements “this is a deliberate critique of misogyny reinforced both by powerful men and metal culture” AND “this is a result of the crew failing to create and integrate meaningful female characters into the show” can both co-exist. honestly, i think mtl has a lot to say about gender (idk how much of that was intentional, but i’ve been thinking about it for a While and want to make a long analysis post or video about it at some point).

regarding the fandom spaces i mean. fuck, you’re talking to a decently popular lesbian mtl creator. i have one foot in the camp of being a misogyny-affected person (tme also, for reference) who makes up a majority of the fandom, but also the other foot is in the “not attracted to men” camp. as much as i like the shipping and smut writing for funsies, i genuinely feel like there’s more to this show than most people give it credit for. i have written so many analyses about it (with plans for more) for a reason. i’ve been in online fandom spaces for about half my life now, and no other piece of media has made me have this many fits of divine madness.

all this to say, yeah, it’s a silly adult swim show, i’m sure 95% of what we see on screen we’re not meant to think too much about. but the reality is that, the text belongs to the readers once it is out in the world, and the way readers respond to it can reflect internalized biases or thoughts. that’s not always the case! sometimes i just wanna see two silly long-haired men kiss because i think it would fix them. but you don’t leave your biases and oppressive thoughts at the door once you enter fandom. and i certainly don’t leave my literature MA or gender studies degree at the door either!

#ask.mj #beloved anon #💉 anon #💌#putting this in my love letter/testimonials tag bc i wasn’t rlly expecting a response like this to that post so thank u ❤️

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falsebooles123 · 1 year

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14 GAYS Later: A two week introspective - Diary of a Big Ole Gay 3/19/2023

Hey Whores, Long Time no see. I have been watching an absolutely slutty amount of gay shit. Also I may or may not have binged a bunch of television recently.

(This is the only gif I could find I also watched The Staircase and starteed getting through RE: MIND)

but I have been on a mission to make a dent in my gay watchlist. I'm going to take a bit of a break the next couple of days but I definetly will watch a few more the last two weeks of march, (dear god are there still two weeks left).

Lets see anything else I should add to this diary. Well my dad just got a new apartment and it looks great and my cars been making a rattle noise which honestly gives me anxiety but I have my mechanic looking at it next week so she just has to get through this week. Hopes and prayers folks.

I also have going over the catering work I'm doing next month. Its going to be a lot of work but I'm going to be making very good money.

(God Thats Cute)

anyway whores lets get into it.

First a Girl (1935) dir. Victor Saville

Once again I am not watching VICTOR/VICTORIA, (through also where the fuck is that half and half costume from cause I've seen most of these version of it at this point).

If you don't know what I'm talking about there is a french version called Georges et Georgette, A 50s german remake and of course the classic 80s VICTOR/VICTORIA. If anyone has links to the first two hit a bitch up.

This version is english and can I just say they shit the bed so hard. they add a lot of nonsense to this like she burns a dress? and it adds absolutely nothing to the plot. The other issue is that they either copy a scene from the original but with worse acting or they add what can only be deemed 1940s heterosexual nonsense.

(I was looking for that part of singing in the rain where the audio gets out of sink and the actors are going NONONO YES YES YES)

That being said the original idea of victor und victoria is amazing because its basically epitomizes this early queer cinema trope of dude doing "man tests" to prove that it is fact

... a masquarader..... a drager personer... a dress-crossinger...

Theres something thats just incredible hot about this like top going up to a twink and being like yeah you a dude huh, your one of the boys, huh. You gonna fuck me in my bussy oh what bruh. Huh you man enough or what???

It comes off as like very homoerotic flirting. This one bascially side steps all the best parts of the original and it just made me realize how good OG Victor und Victoria is.

Cat People (1942) dir Jacques Tourneur

Cat People is one of those movies that people talk about being like super queer and it kinda is. Like the whole movie centers around a woman whose afraid to get intimate with her husband because shes afraid that she will turn into a monster and she gets threatened with getting thrown in an insane asylum because of it.

Which while the movie isn't queer in its subtext. That kind of storytelling resonates with a queer audience especially a contemporry one this was right in the middle of the whole shock the gay away and scoop out are brains portion of medical barbarism.

That being said this is about as queer as something like Picnic at Hanging Rock or Carnival of Souls. Its more feminist then anything but you can definetly read or relate to it as a marginilized and queer person.

The Gay Deceivers (1969) dir. Bruce Kessler

OMG This is mandatory queer viewing. This is for the girls and the gays thats it.

tbf I had a hard time getting into the full on camp of it all and thats because I have to deal with my internilized truama and femmphobia.

I get a lot of interal validation from serving you slutty masc realness.

(GOd thats hot)

and going into this film I had a hard time accepting that this was not it fact an attempt to call me a limp-wrist no-dick hippie faggot queer.

(REFERENCES BITCH)

but about half-way through I realized that it fact I was being a big dumb dumb and that I need to embrace the Fae Gays as much as the butch ones. Ands its not that I'm one of those homos who are like ewwwww I don't like it when those faggots... dresss like faggots. But I also have to let go of my own pain of being treated as a sissy and recognize that people do get validation from that.

Dealing with queer gender baggage is a process and can I just say that if your like me once you get over your nancy boy truama this is an absolute queer delight hunty.

also we are getting Bisexual Realness! #Yaaaasssscar. to quote my letterboxd.

I also want to shoutout Elliot in this film, who I'm sorry thats a bisexual honey. He wants dick. This man is walking around his "husband" shirtless with his pajamis bottoms unbuttoned. Ok Fag. fucking his sister to get to him, I see you. Going to gay bars unprompted. Showing up at the queer party wearing nothing but a jock. homo.

Like lets be clear, if this was remade Elliot would've made a pass on Danny. Ok there is a literally a scene were after Elliot fucked this MILF and he was like. Well she was paying my rent I had to say thank you. And Dannys like. Well I'm paying your rent now and Elliot looks him up and down and is like Bet.

What I'm saying is that Elliot was 100% ready to suck Dannys dick if he asked.

Iconic We stan it is on TUBI right the fuck now. Pls watch.

Daughters of Darkness (1971) dir. Harry Kumel

God for fuck sake step on me mommy.

This is one of the first Lesbian Vampire films on this watchlist that features Elizabeth Bathory, the countess who bathed in all that virgin blood you know the one. EB is a motif in a lot of Lesbian Vampire films but we have to remember that this is Pre-1971 which means that we are only getting the earliest Vampire films not the sexy ones like Nadja or Vampyros Lesbos, (there on my general watchlist just not this specific one.)

This one is hot as shit. We're talking just a lot of tittys and fucking and hot people making out. We have dommy mommy, we have toxic lesbian relationships, we have said dommy mommy being a lesbian who enthralls hot women to do there bidding. And can I just say. Mommmmmmy what about me. I want to be your thrall no fairrrrr.

This movie is giving us The Hunger vibes in the sense thats its horny, beautiful, slow, problamatic, and there are lesbians in this that you would just die for.

god women are so pretty, (I say as the bisexual fag who writes about early queer film).

The Wild One (1953) dir. Laszlo Benedek

So fun fact I posted a clip on this on Snapchat with the caption, "Dear god I am so gay" because marlon brando can fuck this bussy

(POV: what this man looks like as I am sucking him off)

and one of my friends, is like "Gay for this Pussy" and the answer is no Sir I am a faggot have you met me. Have you seen how much I suck dick. and yes I am gay for that pussy but not in this context sir. not in this context where marlon brando can and should tell me to get on my god damn knees like the little slut I am. OK.

(honestly we're kinda JO buddies but hes been really weird about it lately and been making it gay. And its like dude I don't want to fuck you. C'mon)

What I'm saying is that this movie has also inspired me to become a faggot biker and I need to buy leather pants. This film is pretty straight but like in a hot way so i'm into it. This was on youtube and while its not neccesarily super queer, (mostly on this list cause Fashion Fag Marlon Brando turned all the boys gay and into leather with this one. Thank you daddy), it is a pretty fun teen movie.

Castle of Blood (1964) dir. Antonio Margheriti

So this is one of those random 60s movies that were going through a po-essence??? Like they really liked Edgar Allen Poe, think tales of terror.

(god I love tales of terror and poe stories in general)

In this one Poe goes to a castle and just witnesses a lot of toxic polycule sheninigans. Honestly I couldn't hold onto the plot. I like it but I had a headache. Theres some lesbian vampires who, its suggested, kiss off screen but then the closeted one stabs the other. Rude.

Also the closet vamp is constantly trying to ride dick to prove how straight she is, and we've all been there honey.

Twelfth Night (1955) dir. Yan Frid, A. Abramov

so there are a lot of different versions of this but luckily for my poor gay ass theres only like 3 or 4 made before the 1970s. Theres a bunch from like 80 and 90, Theres of course the teen dramas like Shes the Man, One of the Boys, Motorcrossed and I am spared that missery.

It is also at this point that I have realized that while Twelfth NIght is pretty gay it is not in fact gay enough. Check my recent text post of ideas to make it gayer.

so let me just say that this was in russian I don't speak it and I was using Youtube Auto-Translate which is like if you went to a foreign country with a shitty friend and they kept forgetting to translate it for you because they were to busy making out with this hot chick they met at the bar.

that being said the tom-follery carried the plot for me. and since 80% of twelfth night is just a B-plot about a ever-growing bunch of assholes pulling a prank on some snob it works. I will also say that this has the most iconic Yellow Stockings reveal out of any of the versions I've seen so far. They were garish and iconic and we stan.

oh also I forgot to mention this does feature on on-screen kiss between two women but the second women is playing a canonically male character in the scene. Real life v V gay narratively techinically straight

Twelfth Night (1969) dir. John Sichel

Yet another version of this story. It was in english so I could here the dialogue but it was pretty poor showings. Honestly this sounds weird but watch te 1955 USSR version its a lot better.

Masculin Feminin (1966) dir. Jean-Luc Godard

God I hated this movie. Paul is a little bitch baby and the only thing that makes this somewhat tolerable is the fact that Godard was like HON HON HOMOSEXUALS en la TOILET.

Yeah this was a two hour sludgefest. Also apparently his girlfriends roommates were LESBIANS??? but let me just say that this film focused on the painfully straight sophormoric pawing of Paul the ur-incel.

Fuck this bitch

Everything Else I Watched

Honestly not much I just watched Life Without Dreams over on Le Cinema Club which was pretty good and a bunch of TV which I mentioned above. I will probably get into a bit more gay films before the end of the month so stay tuned. I'm trying to just get it out from under me so I have room to breathe. On that note I really need to finish filming and editing my new youtube video. Anyway sluts and slatterns. love you bye.

#Diary #First Gay Kiss #slurs (reclaimed)#Queer Cinema #First A Girl 1935 #Cat People 1942 #The Gay Deceivers 1969 #Daughters of Darkness 1971 #The Wild One 1953 #Castle of Blood 1964 #Twelfth Night 1955 #Twelfth Night 1969 #Masculin Feminin 1966

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omegas-spaghettios · 3 years

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Loki Episode 3 Spoilers!

I wanna talk about Sylvie and her being the Enchantress.

I believe she is truly a Loki variant.

I want to make it clear that I'm not taking the stance she CAN'T be the Enchantress, that isn't my point. My point is I personally do not believe she is not a Loki Variant and I'm going to share evidence to support that.

Also to further clarify, I 100% see that they are drawing inspiration from Enchantress to make Sylvie's character and could see her calling herself the Enchantress, but I do 100% believe she is a Loki Variant.

What I think is the most important is respect. I have a friend who knows nothing about the comics and she got yelled at by another friend for not knowing the Enchantress from the comics and not believing it. Comic fans, cut this out. I know 95% of comic fans who read this won't ever do that, but please be kind to people who haven't read the comics. But regardless, if you are reading this and believe she is the Enchantress and NOT a Loki Variant at all, I'm not trying to disrespect you, please don't disrespect me.

So, all that out of the way, here are my points.

(If you agree with me or don't really care, this is also just a ton of infodumping and character analysis)

1. The MCU loosely follows the comics

This isn't specific evidence but it is worth mentioning, the MCU will change the comics all the time. Thanos is very different in the MCU than the comics, The Guardians are incredibly different, Quill's heritage of being a kid of Ego is an almost completely original story, Civil War's plot varies wildly, there are countless examples. It culminated in WandaVision, where a lot of comic fans got incredibly burned with our predictions, me included (my guess was about Fietro, but I'm mostly referencing Mephisto). Plenty characters also take from others. Nando V Movies has an entire series on it, a notable villain being "Hela isn't Hela." In that video and series he details how some MCU characters draw from many comic characters. So it is not outside the realm of possibility or probability the MCU is taking parts from Enchantress Sylvie and changing it heavily.

I am aware Sylvie is an Enchantress in the comics but her origins have already seemed to vary wildly, so I would assume we are taking her comic self with a grain of salt. I however am by no means an authority on comics Sylvie, I literally just read her wiki page.

2) Addressing things I attribute to being Genderqueer/Genderfluid

We don't know much about Sylvie's identity so as a blanket statement I will be referring to her as genderqueer. If I use this term incorrectly, let me know.

A large piece of evidence Enchantress fans use is Sylvie hates being called Loki. That COULD be an Enchantress piece of evidence, but it also can very clearly be a genderqueer thing. If she is just trans or largely prefers a feminine appearance/identity, it makes sense she wouldn't like her birth name. I'm Trans MTF and I HATE my birth name, it is very common.

Loki in the show still uses Loki and seems very attached to it, but Sylvie is clearly VERY different. Loki himself is confirmed as Genderfluid, and Sylvie obviously has a very different experience in life from him, so we can expect variance in identity as well. If a version of Loki can be like THIS:

An already Genderqueer character can be queer in a different way.

Also, her blonde hair being different from Loki's is not an indication she isn't a Loki, changing hair color is so easy it means almost nothing.

Also, isn't the joke that Genderqueer people dye their hair a lot?

3) Her different power set and background

The fact she calls it enchanting is a pretty big indicator, I'll give you that. But the fact her powers function differently than Loki's doesn't automatically means she is not a Loki.

This is discovered as they talk about their backgrounds, Loki grew up and was taught by Frigga while Sylvie was not. Now, we know their pasts vary anyway since Sylvie learned she was adopted much earlier, but this can be taken two ways in my mind and BOTH explain the difference in powersets.

The obvious is that if Sylvie was not taught by Frigga, she'd have different magic. But an interesting hypothesis is that Sylvie went through becoming a TVA agent and escaped, her memories tampered with, affecting her memories of her training and parents, explaining why she says her mother is a distant memory. That's a hypothesis, but it could explain her different powerset even if she was a standard Loki initially. That could also affect her identity but I would honestly rather it didn't, it feels weird and off, but it's a possibility.

4) Loki's Reaction to Her

Loki notes many times she isn't "acting like a Loki", but I find it much more probable he's just full of himself instead of her not being one.

Loki is interesting because he is incredibly perceptive yet presumptuous at once. He picked up on two Tony Stark's and deduced it was time travel, but he assumed they were trying a last ditch effort to stop him since he succeeded. He is very perceptive of what Sylvie is trying to accomplish, but he doesn't understand WHY she wants to (he's been told, but he can't fathom not wanting to rule).

The point is, Loki's narrative is not the factual narrative. He notices Sylvie doesn't act like him and that's true! But he speaks of it like she can't be a Loki because he OBVIOUSLY is the gold standard when tons of evidence already listed in earlier sections speak to this difference being due to different life experiences, and his failure to acknowledge this so far is because of his ego, at least in my mind.

Also, the two are also very similar in a lot of respects. Sylvie guesses his sexuality and he in turn says she must be the same, they also both have an affinity for bladed weapons.

I believe the scene where they both try to get into the woman's home illustrates their similarity VERY well. They try different ways of getting in, yes. But they both assume the other will fail, they both are incredibly confident, and both of their confidences get them shot.

5) If she isn't a Loki, why impersonate him?

That's a genuine question, if you have an answer let me know.

What is the benefit of impersonating a Loki? It offers no tactical advantage in my mind. Sure, she is the TVA's biggest threat, but she seems to not understand the general viewpoint of Loki. Mobius calls him pathetic and states Loki's have the highest variance rate, they must be fairly easy to catch.

You could argue that she impersonated a Loki BECAUSE the TVA expects so little of Loki, which is a fair point i can't counter. However, it did blow up in her face since Loki was able to track her (and him tracking her as fast as he did is more evidence that she is indeed a Loki).

So, in Conclusion,

She is certainly at least partially based on an Enchantress from the comics, but I believe there is more than enough evidence to show, both in the show Loki and the MCU as a whole, that she is truly a variant of Loki.

#loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki spoilers #episode 3 #mcu #sylvie odinsdottir #sylvie laufeydottir #sylvie lushton #TVA #Time variance authority #genderqueer #genderfluid

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casmybelovedass · 4 years

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The Destiel Folder: Season 5

[Season 4 here]

Episode 1:

Dean is visibly upset about Cas' death, especially at (6:07), and Zachariah notices. From here on, we have a progressive worse reaction from Dean to each of Castiel's deaths

Dean calls Cas a 'friend', again sounding very upset (8:20)

We also get a parallel between Dean and Sam: "I learned that from my friend Cas, you son of a bitch!" and "I learned that from Ruby." (9:10) ICWAW, this parallel would implicate romantic subtext

Cas comes back, bringing top energy onto Zachariah, and Dean just... checks him out (32:43) [this is a frequent thing by the way, I'm on S10 right now, it is]

Episode 2:

I'm so fuckin sorry but I'm laughing too hard at this: D"God" C"Yes" D"God" C"Yes!" (4:09) guys, don't sex-talk in front of Sam and Bobby

"I rebelled, and I did it, all of it, for you." (4:54)

Dean gives in to Cas' top energy "Dean, give it to me." (5:53) shit, guys, enough sex-talk

Episode 3:

The 'personal space scene'. Dean, love, if someone is in your personal bubble, and you don't want them there, you don't stand there for 10 seconds while flicking your gaze from their eyes to their lips TWICE (6:04) ICWAW, these scene would be read as full of sexual tension

Dean here compares himself and Cas to Thelma & Louise, from a movie with HELLA lesbian subtext. And the way he looks at Cas for 7 seconds, tongue between his teeth and just... this fucking look (7:37)

You don't look at friends that way. You don't.

"I need your help, because you're the only one who'll help me. Please". (7:58) Cas trusts Dean will help him while no other would, and he is right... also Dean keeps glancing at his lips

The way Dean fixs Cas' tie and collar, so domestic. (10:34) [This will parallel in 10x05 when Dean messes up musical!Castiel's tie for it to be a legit costume.] Also, the whole police station scene is full of Old married couple moments

"There are two things that I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay." And then they were voted best chemestry couple like Bert and Ernie. Just saying. (16:23) "Two, you are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch... let's go."... and Cas just follows Dean like nothing, but later on...

... Cas is beyond terrified at the idea of being intimate with a woman (11:24),

tho he followed Dean with no problem. ... Did... did he think Dean was making an offer?

He chugs down a beer in fear, poor baby

And he is so jumpy I'm dying

Dean admits Cas is the only one who has made him laugh for real in years (20:58), also, shoulder hug, and Cas, who was on the verge of tears a moment earlier, is smiling and comfortable now.

"Don't look at me, it was his idea." (26:57) the look Cas gives Dean, they're so fucking #MARRIED

"Today you're my little bitch." "... What he said!" Dean is impressed and amused by Cas' smugness (and top energy) (31:55) Basically "Well, mark me down as scared and horny!"

Dean understands how Cas feels, and wants to help. He says he feels good with him "I've had more fun with you in the past 24h that I've had with Sam in years... and you're not that much fun." (36:06) Dean doesn't want to be alone, didn't want Cas to leave.

Episode 4:

Dean sounds and looks like a teenager on the phone with their crush, teasing Cas while smiling softly (1:22). Also "I'll just... wait here then." (2:15)

Even as a mortal, Cas stuck with Dean through the apocalypse, living in pain, chugging down drugs, but never leaving Dean's side. Being his second during hunts. Having only each other

And this Cas can recognize this Dean is not his own only by glancing at him for a moment (... by looking at his dick?!) (18:37)

Dean is stunned and concerned about apocalypse!Cas and how his life turned out

Apocalypse!Cas sits like Dean. Aww, they've been rubbing off on each other [yeah, I bet] (22:27)

"I like past you!" and that smile. So sweet and nostalgic (25:35)

This whole scene (23:48). They are so #MARRIED

Dean is concerned about Cas doing drugs, being basically depressed and living like shit (28:03)

Cas saves Dean again. "We had an appointment." "...Don't ever change." and the way they stare at each other (38:49) look at those smiles and how longingly Cas looks at Dean

Episode 8:

Not a destiel moment, but Dean is totally BI: (12:04); "Sure" (12:42); "What makes Dr Sexy, SEXY, is that he wears cowboy boots!" (12:57); and Dean loves cowboys, just saying

Is... is Dean thinking about Cas being pretty? And about the fact that a creepy guy just called his angel 'pretty'? (20:26)

First thing Dean requests Gabe does is to bring Cas back, threatening him

Episode 9:

Dean reacting to Damien and Barnes being a couple is... LOL (36:27) and after that (38:40), he is on his own, fiddling with his keys, smiling to himself. And when Sam asks if he is okay, he responds "Yeah, you know? I think I'm good." while still smiling to himself. Is he happy about an queer man portraying him, about seeing himself in a confident, openly queer man in a relationship? What else could it be?

Episode 13:

Dean gets more and more worried when Cas gets/is hurt (9:45)(38:02). Also, he got Cas a honeymoon suite. Wow. How sweet.

Episode 14:

The phone call scene. The stares, the tension... look at this shit (10:00)

Dean, stop checking out Cas. You're working. But seriously, look at him. He likes his roughness. AND AGAIN WITH THE LIPS STARING (11:02)

Dean and Cas, after being touched by a cherub, stand shoulder-to-shoulder close to each other, in front of a bi-coloured window (13:26-13:33) I MEAN- Also, Dean, you're staring at a naked man's dong... just saying (13:33-13:36)... stop that, be a professional

Is this the first wink Dean gives at Cas? (14:37) for real? With a cherub in the room? Wow.

(16:16) "Where did he go?" "I belive you upset him." Look at Cas during this scene. #MARRIED

Cas asks Dean where his Famine-induced-hunger is, why he seems unaffected by it... and Dean stares at Cas, then the burger he is holding, then back at him, like he has everything he could want right there, in his Baby (29:22)

Episode 16:

... I'm sorry, but... did Cas really have to MOAN Dean's name to get his attention? (5:24)

I believe this is the first time we ever hear Dean say the words "I love you" (14:38-28:09), and he is saying them to Sam. The only other time we hear him say it is to his mother in 12x22. And the only other person he was supposed to say those words to was, in fact, Cas in 8x17. Let that sink in.

"You son of a bitch." Dean's been rubbing off on Cas, and this is not the only line he has picked up from Dean (38:29)

Episode 17:

This is such a sweet scene. Cas is showing himself weak once again, and Dean sympathises with him, reassures him, confides in him. How sweet. (30:17) ICWAW, this would be seen as a romantic bonding moment

Episode 18:

Cas legit looks like an angry wife. Look how pissed he is at Dean (6:19) #MARRIED

This is such a #MARRIED scene, with Cas being pissy at Dean "being a coward". Also "Yeah, you know what? Blow me, Cas!" and his look after that, like "Does... does he actually want me to?" (13:22)

and this is not the last 'sexual invitation' Dean makes Cas. In fact, minutes later...

"Cas, not for nothing, but, the last person who looked at me like that... I got laid. *wink*" ... just... that (17:53). ICWAW, people would believe this was flirtatious, SHAMELESS, teasing

Look at that FULL TOP MODE tho

"I gave everything for you, and this is what you give to me?" (25:28) Cas is not just angry at Dean for giving up on the plan, but for giving up on life, on them. "So you could surrender to them?" (25:17) not "So you can let them win". It could've been phrased that way, but this is not about the angels winning. It's about Dean giving up on them. Cas is 'cause Dean would be selfishly leaving them

Cas starts taking off his tie and... Dean just stares (31:46). Moments later, we find out Cas totally took his shirt off in front of the boys to make the banishing simbol on his chest, and by the way Dean was STARING when it was only a tie, I bet he either gawked or averted his eyes. Either way, GAY

Cas prefers to die rather than watch Dean fail and die himself (31:55) Also, Sam still thinks of Dean as a hero who can do no wrong, while Cas recognizes his flaws and weaknesses. He knows Dean

Zachariah grabs Dean by the collar and gets in his face. Dean does nothing but flinch a little, mantaining his strong appearance. He only submits and looks overwhelmed when Cas does it (37:50)

Episode 19:

Cas is priority to Dean over Adam. He's more family to him than his actual blood (5:29)

Episode 21:

Cas is basically human, bloody, hurt, powerless and weak. First thing he does? Reach out for Dean (3:16)

Cas is still weak and powerless, and took a bus for miles, just to get back to Dean (12:35)

Episode 22:

Moments before basically going and kill himself, Dean focuses on Cas instead of Bobby, his father figure (24:35)

Cas is on the verge of tears at the thought of Dean dying (25:20)

We know Cas can heal without having to touch the body, but we always see him reach for contact with Dean (35:52) [That's why in S15, it hurts to see Cas not touching Dean while healing him. It feels unnatural]

Dean loves cowboys, and associates Cas to a sheriff. Cas, knowing that, smiles softly at the idea(37:30). Also, Dean obviously doesn't want Cas to leave, and tears up when he does

[Season 6>>]

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rebelcap · 4 years

Text

We are not just friends —Part 12

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually)

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally.

Series masterlist

"You know friends with benefits never work, don't you?" Amanda told Sofia as she rolled her eyes and sigh.

"I don't wanna be his girlfriend," Sofia shrugged, setting her phone in silence as the Twitter and Instagram notifications kept coming. Apparently, people found out who she was and they were blowing up her phone. Obviously, she didn't acknowledge it.

"Says no woman ever,"

"I know, but—look," Sofia sighed again and sat straighter on the couch facing her friend, she looked around because they were in Amanda's parent's house about to lunch. "He's the first queer, nonwhite, Latina, immigrant woman he ever wanted to date, I mean look at all of his exes."

"Okay, he's definitely into brunettes and white,"

"Yes, there's a part of me that's thinking that maybe he's…" Sofia tried to think of a subtle way to say it. "experimenting, and there's going to be nowhere and that left me high and dry when he realized that he's not that into me that much."

"Have you asked him?"

"No," She answered and Mandy just looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "He's going to say that's not true."

"Because it's not. Why does it seems like I know him more than you do, he never said anything remotely like that." She now rolled her eyes at her. "This is you sabotaging yourself, as usual."

"No, it's me trying to protect myself. I don't wanna fall in love with him and shit,"

"Again, talk with him. I'm sure he'll compromise with you at some level,"

"He's away all the time and I hate flying, I hate LA,"

"Oh my God,"

"I'm going to get all weird seeing him kissing other people," Sofia explained. "and he's going to think I'm an insecure, immature little girl that can't handle that." Sofia pouts and crosses her arms.

"Sofia," Her friend scoot closer on the couch and looked at her. "I heard you, about everything and I'm not trying to invalidate how you feel about it, but you need to communicate if you what this to work out for you."

"I'm scared Mandy, because I really like him," Her eyes got all glossy. "I know he's a good man but I'm scared shitless. I can't physically take another loss. You know how hard it was for me to leave my ex, just because of that and it got so fucking ugly on the end."

"I know, I was there," She said and her bottom lip tremble. " crying with you non stop for two years, I know but you know she's a piece of shit and took advantage of you because you were in a very vulnerable position."

"Yeah, I know," Sofia wipe her tears with the back of her hand and sighed, "Stop crying, you're making me cry,"

"I just want you to be happy, you're my best friend I love you so much," Amanda was full-blown sobbing hysterically as Sofia was holding her and chucking. "Capitan America wants to be your boyfriend stupid bitch," She kept sobbing and Sofia laughed.

"I know, I'm just emotional and I'm about to get my period, hormones."

"Your period?" Amanda asked separating and looked at her, pensively. "wait, what date is today?"

"It's the fourteen,"

"Oh,"

Sofia sat down straighter and give her a look. "Are you late?"

"Yeah," Amanda said looking down at her stomach. "Like, three weeks late."

Sofia looked at her belly and mutter. "Jesus, Maria y Jose."

"Holy shit." Amanda blinked a few times and they stare at each other for a full minute.

"Your dad it's going to fucking kill Luke."

~~~~

It's been around a week and a handful of days since the last time Sofia saw Chris, he was already in town since last night but he slept on his mom's house.

Also, Amanda was fucking pregnant.

You up?

She texted Chris at two am. Of course, he wasn't because he was an old man.

I gotta tell u something.

It's important and I need to tell someone I'm really bad at secrets, I just can't.

But you can't tell

I'll literally kill u,

And I'm getting away with it because I know too much about murder men, it's insane.

I'm up, I'm up. I'm watching a movie with Scott, he says hi and also wants to meet u and plot murder.

Also, what's the juicy secret?

Amanda is pregnant and your brother is way handsome than you.

Chris was calling almost immediately.

"Excuse me?"

"Amanda is having a baby,"

"No, about Scott being handsome than me," He asked and Sofia let out the loudest laugh, God she needed that.

"Oh my God, you're an idiot," She laughed. "I miss your face."

" I miss you, too." He laughed.

"Is Scott there?, we follow each other on Twitter and made fun of you."

"You two what," He asked and she could hear Scott laughing on the background. "You made fun of me with my girl?"

"Yeah, I slide in her DMS." Scott laughed and Chris was red as a tomato.

"Dude," He said and Sofia heard a lot of ow's and she laughed. "And about the other things, what the fuck?"

"Yes, I'm freaking out. Mandy's at Luke's house now but I don't know, she didn't text me. I can't sleep," She groaned and Chris stood quiet for a moment.

"Want me to come over?"

"Please?"

~~~

"Oh, hi," Sofia exclaimed as soon she opened the door, Chris grabbed her face and plant a quick kiss.

"Hi," He smiles, still cupping her face. "Hello," Chris kissed her again making her laugh.

"You dork," She said as she took his hand and took it to the kitchen, "Want something? I'm about to stress bake."

Chris laughed while he sat on the high chairs. "Mandy didn't text u?"

"No, dude. I'm freaking out, I know Luke it's the sweetest," She said giving her back to Chris as she measures some flour.

"He's going to be over the moon, I'm not supposed to tell you this but he's been thinking about proposing,".

Sofía was taken aback for a moment there but a huge smile, she turned around and look at him.

"Are our best friends getting married and having a kid?"

Chris laughed and nod, "Yeah, guess so?"

"Yeah," She smiles. "So weird," She turned around and Chris walked up to her, leaning on the counter beside her.

"Why?"

"Don't know, I'm happy don't get me wrong, I just. It's weird for me because it's," She stumbles over her words a little. "it's the first time I'm seeing this going right for someone I deeply care about."

Chris made a face and she laughed.

"I have really shitty examples on my life," She went again to her baking. "My mom and dad fought a lot, they had to get married because they were having my brother—

"Wait, you have a brother?," He asked, surprised. "You never mentioned him."

"We don't really speak, well I don't speak to him,"

"Why?"

Sofía pursed her lips together and give Chris a look, she didn't want him to think less of him or him judging her about what went down.

"Can we skip that part?"

Chris quickly nod, "Yeah, of course," He said putting a hand on her shoulder. "whenever you're ready,"

"Okay," She nod too and remained silent. "it's just, I'm sorry." Sofia took a deep breath and wipe a tear. "I've never had a normal family dynamics until I've meet Mandy's family and a still feel so out of place sometimes, it's weird—" She chuckles. "I'm weird."

"It's not weird, you're not weird. I've gathered that you went through some shit that no kid should go through," Chris said and Sofia stopped moving and looked at the bowl in front of her. "things that obviously hurt you still."

"Stop." She told him trying not to cry and took another deep breath trying to pass the lump on her throat but her lower lip was trembling.

"Hey, hey," Chris grabbed her and hugged her, but she pushed him away and went back to the counter.

"You like muffins?" She asked in a small voice and Chris just stare at her, he just shut him out on whatever it's going up with her. "Do you?"

"Yeah, yes. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," She nod.

Sofía was feeling like an idiot, she didn't want to be crying on his arm about her shitty life, to someone that obviously couldn't relate because he also had the perfect family, the perfect brothers. His fucking life was perfect. She didn't want him to see her like a wounded little girl.

"Sofia?"

"Just drop it, forget about it." She said going to the fridge and grabbed some milk.

"What? come on baby, you know you can talk about me about anything," Chris told her and she just chuckles. "Is this funny to you?"

"I can't talk to you about everything, there's a lot of things we can't relate to Chris." She quickly answered him.

"I know that, but I can listen. You can open up with me for fuck's sake," Chris said frustrated and Sofia sigh. "You're always shutting me out when we even slightly touch a subject you don't like, I've known you for like almost two years and I right now found out you have a brother. You know everything about me, you know my fucking whole family,"

"Yeah, and now you're now throwing it back at my face."

"I'm not throwing it back at your face, you can tell me anything, Sofia." He said and she shook her head.

"Why do you wanna know so bad? I'm just some girl you're fucking." She asked him and Chris was taken aback.

"You're not—is that what you think of me?, that I'm so guy you're fucking?"

"Are you not?" She asked nonchalantly and Chris lost his shit.

"Woow, that's how it is?, like I'm nothing to you." He said taking a step back.

"Why the fuck are you pushing this so much? what are you gonna do? I don't want your fucking pity and I don't fucking need you either." She was spitting venom at him, feeling attacked at everything he was doing.

"You're being a fucking asshole right now," He told her and Sofia rolled her eyes. "I just wanna know my fucking girlfriend."

"I'm most definitely not your girlfriend, I won't ever be your girlfriend" She answered and Chris just stared at her, feeling hurt.

"You know what, fuck you," he muttered angrily and turned around, nervous.

"There we go, pretty Chris don't get what he wants and he lashes out," She mumbled and pointed at him. "And now you leave,"

Chris rubbed his beard and grabbed his phone. "When you want talk this shit out, let me know. I'll be staying two more days and then I'm back in LA, you know I'm leaving for three months. Because I tell you all the shit I do," He pointed out again and Sofia just shrugged.

"Whatever, you know where the door is." She didn't even look at him, Chris was fuming. Sofía flinch when she heard the door shut.

~~~

Well, shit.

Tag list:

@smediumsmeatbae

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood

@thegirlwithpaperheart

#chris evans fluff #chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x female reader #chris evans #chris evans fic #Chris evans angst #chris evans x ofc #chris evans x latina!#chris evans x original female character #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader

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muchymozzarella · 5 years

Note

So you're saying if someone takes a canonically gay character and ships them in a heterosexual relationship, they're not being homophobic. And if someone takes a canonically mixed-race black/white couple (and yes I'm talking about Reylo) and ships the white character with another white character instead, they're not racist. If your answer to both statements is "no they're not", you're full of shit.

No, they’re not :))

Especially since FinnRey isn’t any more canonical than Reylo at this point. I’ll be ecstatic if Reylo dies in ROTS, don’t get me wrong, since I actually really dislike the ship itself, but I have nothing against shippers since they’re literally just… shipping fictional characters. There’s nothing wrong with being a Reylo, and y’all act like there is, and that is DISTURBING.

Man, imagine if I said “FinnRey shippers are homophobic because FinnPoe is a thing”. Imagine. Same energy, right?

I do find that when people have a specific trend in their shipping (for example, never shipping nonwhite or non pale characters) it’s definitely indicative of something, but that doesn’t exist in the ship alone. That exists in trends.

If a black queer woman who advocates for POC rep and black rights and engages in activism decides to ship two white men even when there’s potentially a black man to be shipped with one of them, I don’t say YOU’RE RACIST because you can tell how STUPID that is.

As for shipping a canon gay character in a hetero relationship, I find it squicky. But I don’t assume someone’s homophobic because of it. If they say or do homophobic things, they’re homophobes, but otherwise, I just stay away from these fics because I personally don’t like it.

I also don’t think that fantasising about fictional men can be equatable to any real life actions against homophobia that you’re taking in your own life. Straight men who jack off to lesbian porn aren’t champions of the queer community. Neither are straight women who jack off to gay men having sex morally superior to those who jack off to straight men and women.

Y’all gotta stop acting like you know the reasons people ship something.

I ship for all these reasons, for different ships:

I like the dynamic and chemistry they have

I like that they’re good for each other

I like that they’re toxic for each other because they’re terrible

I like that they’re equals who differ in ideals

I think it’s sexy but 100% would have one or both of these people arrested IRL

I think they’re sweet and I want to have that kind of relationship

I think they’re doomed to fail and I want to see it happen

I think they should be canon

I don’t think they should be canon so I enjoy their fanon

As you can see, most of these entries contradict each other. Obviously. I get different things from these different ships. That is NORMAL.

It is normal to watch horrific war movies or gory horror and romcoms for different reasons. You get different things from different media.

That goes the same for ships. Sometimes I want my ships to be UwU perfect cute and sweet - like, for example, Good Omens.

Sometimes I want my ships to be morally reprehensible. Like, for example, Hannigram.

I do, however, think people should be aware of why they ship certain things. And sometimes it involves ingrained racism that you need to self-examine, or something else in your life that you’re using fandom to cope with.

And sometimes it’s just for shits and giggles.

But y’all who send anon messages like this? You’re apparently just doing it to have the license to bully and harass people on the internet. Shipping ain’t your religion, stop acting like evangelical nutcases preaching the purity of your own ship vs. The Inherent Evils of others. That’s how we got Catholicism. And look how that turned out.

PLEASE STOP DEFINING YOUR IDENTITY WITH WHAT YOU SHIP!!!!!!! Ships are important to my life but goddamn fucking stop pretending they are your entire existence, and stop projecting that onto other people.

#shipping

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bisexy-legend · 5 years

Text

Okay, I've spent the last 24 hours reading a book called "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo" I don't know if it's famous on Tumblr or anything but I just felt the need to come here and talk about it and maybe introduce this book to more people.

First thing first I have to say that even though I discovered it just two day ago it's already one of my favorite books ever, I'm gonna start with a spoiler free review:

When I started it I knew I liked the concept, a Hollywood star searching for a journalist who had no relevance whatsoever and wanting to talk to her and only her about her life and hidden secrets, when Evelyn started to talk about her life I knew I liked the way the book was been written, how easy it was to see all the things Evelyn was describing, how complex every character was getting with every chapter and by the time her story was over I was completely in love with most of them, with how complex and full os nuances the author made them. It's intriguing how we already know or think we know how it ends but then it takes a completely different turn and to be honest by the end I really wished Evelyn Hugo was a real person and that I could talk to her.

From now on there will be spoilers so if you didn't read it and want to do so without spoilers stop here

I have to say I already knew there would be a lgbt story in the book, cause the indication of it came from a thread in which there were only books with Queer characters but also I had no idea that it would be as impacting for me as it turned out to be.

As a bisexual woman myself I was truly in love when Monique asks if Evelyn is coming out as gay woman cause she told her she was in love with Celia and Evelyn tells Monique that she's bisexual, that she loved both men and women and that Monique shouldn't ignore half of her just to put her in a box, the feeling of being ignored just so people can understand you easily is real.

I also loved how her bisexuality was never ignored she loved Celia her whole life, but she loved men too, and not for once she fit the "bisexuals are greedy" stereotype, yes she had sex with guys when she was with Celia, but it was shown as a characteristic of her, she didn't do it because she was bi, she did it because for her it was something that needed be done, either to keep their secrets or to have a baby without raising questions about their secrets.

One other point I really loved was the "multiple soulmates" thing, Celia was her soulmate, the love of her life, but Harry was her best friend, also her soulmate but in such a different way, when I started the book I never, not for a second, thought that their relationship would be so pure and that I would ended up loving Harry and the way he was so kind to her her whole life.

Celia St. James gained my heart the very first time she appeared, I loved how honest she was with Evelyn, how Evelyn who didn't trust a living soul ended up trusting her and their relationship was built with so many layers since the beginning, Celia was not a pure angel, she was just as complex as any other character in this book, I loved how idealistic she was, how she wanted to go to the Stonewall riots, how she never wanted to hide who she was, how when things got too much she actually left Evelyn, it broke my heart, but I also understood her choices, Celia loved Evelyn her whole life too, she was sometimes scared with Evelyn being bisexual, which also broke my heart but in the end when she says "we are gay" and then corrects herself with "I'm gay and you are bisexual", honestly I would read another book just with her and Evelyns stories, and if I could make one single change in the book would be the years they lost being apart, I cried my eyeballs out when they talk about it.

Then there's Evelyn Hugo who honestly is one of the most beautifully written characters I ever read, she was shown as a real person, not a good or bad person, she was a real person dealing with choices, some she got right, some she didn't, she's not type of protagonist I was aused to, she is not a silly girl who didn't understood the things she did, she knew what she wanted she went after it, she never say she was sorry, I didn't like her very much in the beginning maybe cause that is not the kind of female characters we are "supposed to love" but oh god did Evelyn Hugo conquered my heart fast, as a young girl conquering Hollywood or as a old woman advising Monique, I loved every part of her character, sure she made a lot of bad choices, she wasn't inocent person or as she said herself "a good person", but I understood her, I respected her so much, and to be honest, if she was a real person I would like to sit down and talk to her about everything.

Evelyn and Celia's relationship was my favorite surprise, I didn't think it would go as they did, I cried when they got married in their bed cause I knew what would happen next, the book never for once tried to deceive the reader, everyone Evelyn loved was dead, so it was a matter of time, but it was more heartbreaking than I anticipated, I loved how soft Evelyn was with Celia, how she kept the soft only for her, how even with the many tribulations I thought till the very end that their love was one of the most pure things I ever read, how they trade little messages in their Oscar acceptance speechs and how they loved each other even when they hadn't seen each other for years, how all they want to be able to live like a normal couple, I thought of how many people back then had to go through the same thing as they did, how many are going through it now, and my heart was even more broken.

I must say that I searched for every possible connection between Evelyn and Monique, and when the accident was mentioned I knew what was the big secret, but it wasn't less shocking when Evelyn said it to her, I was pleased surprised when she said that she did it for Monique to know how much she was loved, this and the letter I did not see coming, during the book I thought what part would Monique chose to put in the article, but I never thought she would put that Evelyn loved Celia and yet it felt so incredibly fit, she honored Evelyn even though she was still mad at her, as she said Evelyn loved Celia and that was the most real thing in her life, she had seven husbands and that was widely known but the thing she valuable the most was her wife.

I maybe liked this book way too much, maybe I saw a little bit of myself in every character, in the way Evelyn tried to hide who she was, in Celia want to be with the woman she loved consequences be damned, in the way Harry was realistic about the whole thing, this is definitely a must read for everyone, I'm not quite over it yet, I wrote this long ass post about it and I haven't even said all my thoughts about it, to me this book was precious and I loved the experience it gave me, I ended it crying like a baby but also, very satisfied with how it ended and just wanting badly that it ended up becoming a movie someday but without changing anything, not one single line, I don't know if anyone will ever come to the end of this post but if you do, please share with me your thoughts about this book, it wasn't been officially translated to Portuguese so I don't know anyone who read it, and I can't introduce it to most of my friends cause they don't speak or understand English and I could really use a friend to vent out about this book.

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dykedykegooses · 6 years

Note

i'm askin u every single even numbered question for the lesbian ask game

at least you didnt bother with the algebra this time, for which i am thankful

Femme or butch?

i’m more femme but i try to act butch sometimes and i just end up failing hopelessly. ‘look mom i know how to put air in a tire!!’ ‘peyton thats like… not even right’ or ‘oh SHIT look at that blitz!! that was cool’ ‘peyton that was a sack’ ‘oh’

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

not really, mostly just like… humor. if u funny we click

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

why not both?

no but seriously plaid tbh

Describe your style

um yes

converse, (ripped? sometimes) jeans, and whatever top i feel is appropriate for the Big Aesthetic today

Describe your aesthetic

yes

ive tried going more punk but its just kinda , not worked

my physical aesthetic is very adultolescent. i got chub and look like a freshman but ive been told i pass as a college senior so like

my Big Mood aesthetic is yes

Favorite article of clothing?

either my converse or my “”combat boots”” (theyre not and it makes me sound like an edgelord just saying that) (can you tell im gay)

OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY JEAN JACKET its like baggy and light and ive started sewing patches from my favorite bands on it (super punk right)

Favorite pair of shoes?

^^^

oh my black strappy heels, theyre surprisingly comfortable

Current haircut?

ive got a bleached bob rn

Any haircut goals for the future?

i kinda want a pixie cut bc i cant handle long hair however long hair is so PRETTY and wow

Describe the best date you’ve been on

iiiiiiiiii dont really know. ive been on very few. i have a Perfect Date in mind, and i guess my favorite was my first date with my ex. we had gotten back from a successful science competition (HAVE I MADE IT OBVIOUS IM A NERD YET IM A BIG OL NERD) and it was like midnight by the time we got back and we were both starving so we went to taco bell and just sat there talking and laughing and i know we were pissing off the staff, but we stayed til like two in the morning and we went home and honestly we both considered it a date but we didnt like… tell each other it was a date? if that makes sense? idk honestly im triggered

Describe the worst date you’ve been on

ugh oh god i went on a tinder date and this girl like in the DMs was like ‘hey do u smoke weed’ and im like ‘lol no’ and then like we made plans to meet up at a coffee shop and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed and im like……………. no and shes like ‘oh right lol’ well THIS BITCH sleeps through the time we were supposed to meet, completely stands me up, and then texts me back like an hour later and was like ‘omg im sorry i overslept!!!’ and it was like….. noon but ok so we meet up after my class and we just sit there really awkwardly trying to make conversation and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed im like ‘honey no i dont’ and we just talked about drugs for a while and when i left because i had to gtfo she like gave me an awkward hug and like i sent a text later that night bc im courteous and im like ‘hey i had a great time today’ (i didnt) ‘lmk if you ever want to meet up again!!’ and she just. ignored me lol.

Single? Taken?

im currently in a polyamorous relationship with myself and my anxiety

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

someone who’s able to make me laugh and deal with my bad ideas and will let me cook for her and wants to travel the world with me

Describe your dream wedding

its small. outside. maybe in a field or in front of a lake. i dont personally want a big ballgown, just a short white dress will do. lavenders everywhere. R A I N B O W C A K E. reception where we slow dance to all the sappy romance songs. its great.

Do you want kids?

not really, but ive considered being a foster parent. i feel like im here to do good; i don’t want to have my own biological children, and im not sure i want to have the permanent responsibility of adopting a kid, but i feel i could handle fostering once we’re financially stable and have the room to accept children into our home.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

spain, definitely. somewhere in the north. i want to have a small farm with goats and chickens and vegetables and i want to be away from this american mess.

Favorite lesbian movie?

well ysee…………. the only two explicitly lesbian movies ive seen have been ‘all about E’ and ‘blue is the warmest color’ and i didnt like either of the lmfaoooo i prefer watching lesbian television shows tbqh (or, most commonly, just rewriting all the female characters in my head to be sapphic sooooooo dont @ me)

Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i mean same as above, i dont read as much as i like to. however, i did read “georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit” and that was Really Good and i did read another that was slightly better, but i forget the name but it was about a pakistani (?) girl who was struggling to come out to her parents bc they were very traditionalist but she joins the theater and her like really elite school and the girl she had a crush on basically outs her and is a bitch about it and GOD i wish i could remember it because it was really good

Favorite lesbian song?

ummmmmmmmmmmm i just recently listened to ‘honey’ by kehlani and that was pretty good and pretty gay, but my personal favorite is ‘girls’ by beatrice eli bc holy shit what a Mood

Favorite lesbian musician?

i love mary lambert and beatrice eli.

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

ummmmm now that im thinking of them i cant think of any. i used to play softball and soccer? i love cats. i immediately start planning out the next five years of our lives together anytime im remotely interested in a girl?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i mean………………. no

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

well bake cookies w me and lets go for a walk & go out and watch the stars at night in the bed of a truck

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

I LOVE LOVING GIRLS!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN!!!!!! GIRLS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

why not both

idk ive never had a cat but i know i lov them

Turn ons?

i.......... dont know

yes

im gay

Turn offs?

long nails youch theyre pretty to look at but i mean at what price

not having anything to talk about

putting yourself down like a lot (i went on a date w this one girl and that was all she did like the entire date like......... im sorry ? :(???)

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

if im being honest i would love for someone to ask me out but since that is Very Unlikely, i tend to be the one to message first and initiate dates and stuff

What is your dream career?

i want to be a psychological researcher in the field of social comparative psychology how sick is that!!!!! just play with dogs all day and record whether or not they boop their noses on a screen

also i wanna be a farmer and a bookstore owner but thats Farther down the line like , when im 50

Talk about your interests or hobbies!

im honestly such a psych nerd i love psychology what the fuck!! its so interesting like ppl are weird man idk brains are weird

im also having a really big green day phase like billie .. he so smol... and also anyone who wants to bash warning or the trilogy can fight me ok those are like My Favorite Albums

im going to a concert in february to see declan mckenna, a Giant Meme

im getting a tattoo w some lyrics of declan’s actually its gonna be sick

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

yes

idk for me its being able to have quick, witty, skillful jokes i just love listening to girls talk and tell stories and jokes like wow im gay

also long curly hair? thats always a Solid Look

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i mean. do we really wanna open this can of worms rn

too late, its open

i get those microcrushes where you like see a girl and youre like ‘WOW IM GAY DATE ME’ however once it comes to actually being in a relationship i throw my full weight behind it and worry that im being too suffocating or that im pushing my boundaries etc and ive been told that makes me come off really cold and uncaring so lol choose ur own adventure, you decide

Ever fallen for your best-friend?

unfortunately

Ever fallen for a straight girl?

can you even call yourself a lesbian if you havent

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i havent seen it, im such a fake lesbian

Favorite comfort food?

mac n cheese

or pizza

or cheesy potatos

OR CHEESY TOAST

scientific conclusion: im a fatass

Coffee or tea?

coffer

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

im vegetarian!! have been on and off for like two years now

Do you have any pets?

i have one pup sittin right next to me and shes the prettiest girl in the world

Early-riser or night-owl?

yes

idk i get up at like 9 which is early for me but not as early as like. 5. so

more like night-owl. thanks teenage hormones!

What is your sign?

pisces

Can you drive?

yes

can i drive well?

but i do have a sense of direction so thats cool

Who was your first lesbian crush?

tbh.................... my best friend, but i didnt realize it was a crush at the time

the first Gay Crush i had that i knew was a crush was on my close friend at the time, now my ex girlfriend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

uhhhhhhhhhh lesbian specifically, like 15-16. queer, i knew in like fall semester freshman year (so like 13??)

At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i mean, i come out to people all the time. first time i came out explicitly as a lesbian was when i was like 15 or 16 (actually i came out to a close straight friend and my ex and they both said ‘congrats’ like it was weird but very nice) and the first time i came out as queer/questioning was to my then-best friend at like 13 and i came out to my mom (involuntarily) at like 17? ish?

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes im crushing on every girl simultaneously at all times

just kidding

(not really)

i dont really have any explicit crushes that i can think of im just really gay

Talk about how your day went

it was fine. got free froyo so that was cool. found out i made an A on my bio practical, so that was cool too. however, i wore a crop top and it was like 55 degrees out and raining so i looked like a total Idiot but yk follow ur slutty gay dreams amiright ladies

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

most of mine are career-centric, but a few are personal.

i wanna go to costa rica in may, i wanna go to yale over the summer, i wanna go to NYC pride in june, i wanna go to spain after i graduate, i wanna go to grad school, i wanna be a psychological researcher, i wanna move to spain or england or hell even france, i wanna have my own farm with the woman i love, i wanna own an LGBT bookstore/library, i wanna just live a quiet life near the sea and not have to worry so much after a while.

Least favorite gay celebrity?

this is a weird one to end on, but iiiiiiim not sure i have one? i can tell you ellen page is probably my favorite, but i cant think of many i dislike so

#grabsthesun #lesbian ask game #i love and hate you

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queercapwriting · 7 years

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Hey mom!! You adopted me like two weeks ago and yeah, thank you!! Things are still weird at home, but thank you so much for your words. I love nb!alex... so maybe if you could write how Alex kinda comes out to the superfriends and yeah.. :) I'm sorry, I know you are not taking prompts but I had to ask. :)

The last time Alex gathered them all to make an announcement, it was a little bit anticlimactic.

James and Winn had blinked for a moment, and thought about it for a moment more, and immediately it made sense that of course Alex was dating a woman, and of course that woman was Maggie.

The most dramatic thing that happened that night was Winn trying to play geometry with sticks.

So they’re not sure what to expect tonight, and Kara’s not spilling.

“Maybe they’re getting engaged,” James suggests, and Kara just grins and adjusts her glasses.

“Or maybe that supposed mission out of state the other week was really a shotgun wedding in Vegas,” Winn suggests.

“Mr. Schott, they returned with three members of Cadmus in handcuffs, in what way does that strike you as a fake mission?”

Winn’s voice goes up slightly and it reminds Kara forcibly of Cisco, and she smiles to herself.

“They could’ve had some downtime, we don’t know!”

“Hi guys,” Alex interrupts, face a combination of flushed and terrified and excited.

“Look at them holding hands like that, see, totally shotgun wedding!” Winn splutters, as Alex and Maggie cast him identical mock glares.

“We didn’t get married, Winn,” Maggie sing songs as she plops down next to him, her hand still in Alex’s vice-like grip.

“What’s up, Alex?” James asks, and J'onn looks on with soft eyes.

Alex looks, wide-eyed, at Kara, at Maggie. They nod and Alex gulps and Alex fiddles with Winn’s bottle of beer and Alex speaks.

“So since I’ve come out, as gay, I’ve been… doing a lot of research. Learning a lot of things. About… about queer life. And about myself.”

“I knew those lesbian movie nights were a good idea!” Winn high fives Maggie, and she laughs softly and shakes her head, her eyes fixed supportively on Alex.

“And I’ve been learning new concepts… identities… well, not new, but things I didn’t know… possibilities I didn’t know were there. And I’ve been realizing a lot of things… about myself… and who I am. Inside. And I… who I am is… do you guys know the word nonbinary?”

J'onn smiles proudly and James cocks his head and Winn raises his hand like a proud nerd in math class.

“Neither one extreme nor the other!”

“In terms of gender, Winn.”

“Sometimes it means neither woman nor man; for others, it means both; for still others, it means different things at different times,” J'onn supplies softly, and they all turn to him with identical expressions.

“I’ve lived long lives on two planets,” he waves them off, gesturing back to Alex, still wearing a proud, soft smile.

“Is there a different pronoun you’d like us to start using for you, Alex?” he invites, and Alex could cry with relief, and squeezes Maggie’s hand, hard.

Maggie brings it to her lips and kisses each knuckle.

“They,” Alex says, softly at first, but then they clear their throat and look into Kara’s warm eyes as they say it louder, stronger.

“They. I want they pronouns. It just… it fits me better than… than anything else. I just didn’t know it was a possibility before.”

“And you’re still okay with Alex, or do you want us to go with something else?” J'onn prompts into James and Winn’s silence.

“I like Alex. Or… or Al. I like Al… a lot. But Alex is… Alex still fits.”

Maggie kisses their hand again, and Kara nudges her shoulder into James and tosses her hand toward Winn.

“You two are awfully quiet,” she speaks her sibling’s fear for them, and Maggie rubs her thumb across their hand as they wait for the boys to respond.

“No, no, I’m sorry Alex, I’m not… I’m just processing, that’s all. Come here,” James gets up and leans over and Alex hugs him hard and trembling and terrified.

“Is it okay if I have questions?” he asks, and Alex nods nervously.

“Do you want us to treat you different? Like, I want to treat you how you want to be treated, and I guess now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve treated you kind of like a sister. Do you need me to adjust that? Treat you more like a brother? Or both? Or neither? Or different things at different times? Is it okay to ask that?”

Alex grins and nods and touches his shoulder. “Yeah, I said you could ask. Uh… you know I don’t know yet? I like… I like feeling like… like the boyish parts of me are acknowledged, that makes me really happy… like, Winn, when you call me dude, it makes me feel really proud. Like you see me, you know? But I don’t think I would want to be treated basically like one of the guys all the time. I still feel like a lesbian. So there’s that. I guess I’ll let you know what I like and don’t like as it happens?”

James nods and smiles at them, and reaches out to touch their hand. “I’m really proud of you, Alex. Al. You’re amazing, you know that? Whatever pronouns you use.”

Alex grins again and suddenly Winn is up and suddenly Winn’s arms are around their shoulders.

“I never had a brother or a sister. Then I got James, and then I got you. And Maggie. And now I have a brother and a sister and a sibling, and it’s… I always wanted a full family. I love you, Alex. I love you so much.”

Alex pats his arm and pulls their head back to look at him. “You alright there, Winn?”

“I’m just proud of you, okay?”

They smile and kiss his cheek.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Winn. You can get off me now.”

“Yes soldier,” he murmurs as he scurries back to his seat.

“And you knew already,” they say across the table to J'onn.

“I had a feeling, Al. And your brothers aren’t the only ones who are proud of you.”

Alex bites their lip and Alex battles tears. “You’re not disappointed? Because you don’t have two daughters anymore?”

Their voice cracks and everyone reaches across the table toward their hands all at once, because suddenly not a single Superfriend has dry eyes.

“Alex. I watched you grow up, and I watched you turn into the finest child any man could ever ask for. You’re a protective sibling, a loving partner, a brilliant doctor, a fearless agent. And you’re the best child any parent could ever ask for. I’m not losing a daughter, Alex: I’m not losing anything. I’m gaining a child who’s learning more about themself, who’s growing more comfortable, more happy, within themself. And that is all I could ever want for you, or for your sister.”

Before he’s even finished talking, Alex is up and across the table and kneeling next to his seat and burrowing themselves in his chest.

“I love you,” they whisper as Maggie squeezes Winn’s hand and Kara cries happily into James’s shoulder.

“I love you too, Alex. I love you too.”

#sanvers minific #superfriends #alex x j'onn #nonbinary alex danvers #nb!alex

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