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skunaskitten · 11 months

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The Affair chapter 5

AU: human ceo sukuna x female reader

Contains: fluff, smut, cheating, lying, unfaithful sukuna, falling in love, oral, talk about kids, guilty heart sukuna, mention of gojo

Summary: since sukuna's wife has come back he has been switching back and forth between you and her, not knowing who to finally choose. The choice between you or his company. Something strange is happening with his wife, he is seeing her in a new way maybe he can stay with her but with you in his life things are more complicated. Now he seeks help through one of his best worker and friend.

Master list of stories

chapter 4 ch5 chapter 6

Sukuna was so lost in thought he couldn't do any of his work right, having to retype emails that he kept messing up on and reorganizing his paperwork.

His stress was rising to more than what he would like it to be. He didn't know what to do now. His wife had come back too early that put an obstacle in his plans with you.

That night he didn't come to see you now that his wife was back home he needed to attend to her needs but when she escaped to the showers he took the moment to go into another room to call you. You were so excited to hear from him his heart felt like breaking. He felt bad for not seeing you telling you the excuse and lying that it was overtime at work. All you did was smile and tell him not to worry and to get some rest.

Sukuna laid awake for most of the night tossing and turning in bed all the worries and guilt eating him alive. When his wife felt him struggling to go to sleep, with the tossing and turning. She put an arm around his body and nuzzled against his chest trying to calm him to sleep. He was confused why she was acting this way. Why the sudden change? She never really liked to cuddle as they got older in their relationship.

With the little comfort he had got tonight he was able to fall asleep but with the lack of a deep sleep he didn't want to go into work. His wife however rubbed his head laying there with him "my love stay in bed today I am going into the office. You look drained of life." She told him with a smile on her face.

He grunted and turned over hiding his face to get more sleep making her giggle. She slipped out of bed to get dressed then walked out of the home heading to the office.

Sukuna wanted to go see you but he could not risk anyone seeing him sneaking out. This was going to be a new challenge for him.

On her breaks and lunches she actually came back to him checking to make sure he was doing well but that meant he couldn't sneak out if he wanted to. He had to call you to tell you he can't not see you today.

When you heard the phone ring you ran over to it and jumped onto the bed seeing sukuna's number. You smiled and answered with a flirtatious "hello kuna."

He smiled and said "hey darling I am sorry but work is kicking my ass right now so I won't be able to see you today."

"Oh well then you can see after work its fine sukuna I don't mind if you come over late. It might give you better sleep." A smile formed on your face. He rubbed the back of his neck saying "yea I can't tonight at all im sorry they are keeping me over." But he liked the idea of being in bed with you getting a good night's rest. You let out a little breath saying "that's ok kuna I will wait for you. I love you. You stay safe though take care of yourself I will see you later."

He could hear how sad you are but he could not risk anything too soon, he had to keep you on the low.

"I love you beautiful, I have to go now."

You said goodbye to him then let out a sigh looking at the phone after hanging up then just laid down onto your bed. Sukuna rubbed his face and went to the kitchen to get something to eat, feeling horrible for even leading you into his life like this only to push you away.

Later that night while he sat on the couch his wife walked in with a smile. "hello love hope you feel better I made reservations at the restaurant to go to. I will go get ready. That is if you still want to go."

He nodded to confirm he was still going then watched her disappear down the hall to their bedroom as he sighed, laying his head back then got up and walked into the room seeing her getting undressed. Her body would never compare to the likeness of you. He loves the natural plumpness of your ass and thighs, enjoying the way they wrapped around him everytime he thrusted into you. The size of your breast are perfect to him and loves to feel them in the palm of his hands or pressed against his chest.

His wife giggled snapping him from his thoughts as she said "sukuna save it for later go get ready." She walked into their bathroom while he went to look at the suits to wear. He just grabbed a simple black vest and red under shirt for tonight, nothing fancy just as his wife came out dressed in red heels, black tight dress and hair tied up with make up dusting her face. "Lets go don't want to be late."

During dinner his eyes darted everywhere looking for any sign of someone being strange or trying to get his picture. His wife noticed how quiet he had been ever since she came back from her trip.

"Hey ryomen are you alright you've been quiet and closed off ever since I came back what is wrong?"

He smirked to her saying "darling nothing is wrong everything is fine just I never seen you like this for a long time now. Why the sudden change?"

She smiled and slid her hand over and squeezed his hand. "I told you I want to be better for you and I had a lot of thoughts about us so I am changing." He sighed and held her hand in his then brought it to his lips kissing her knuckle. "I missed you."

The whole dinner felt normal to him again it wasn't her flirting with random men that walked by her or got her attention. Her focus was all on him. She was actually laughing and smiling at him and he felt happy that he was finally becoming part of her life again. He chuckled hearing the stories she told about her trip while she laughed with him.

When they got home it was lips locked and his tongue diving into her mouth grabbing at her hips pulling her against him. Sukuna roughly picked her up pushing her against the wall giving bites to her neck making her moan out. He let out a growl and dropped her onto the bed then began to strip himself down to nothing. It was not easy for him to find lust through her; he had to think of you during the intercourse with his wife. The shameful thoughts of you. All because the guilt is eating him alive.

As he thrusted into her hearing her bark his name it was all thoughts of you. Remembering the way your breast bounced with every thrust. When your warm walls squeezed around the thickness of his cock. Feeling your body mold to his like a perfect piece. His heart was so guilty his wife noticed him losing his rhyme.

"Sukuna..cum inside me."

He looked at her with wife's eyes saying "what?" She smiled at him "I want to..to have a family with you."

With a few more thrust she came around him screaming his name but he wasn't close yet so he stopped breathing hard cursing at his inner self. She looked at him with a smile and ran a hand across his cheek.

"Ryomen its alright? We can do it again later. I know it was just brought onto you but I think we should start having kids."

His wife left him alone while she was in the bathroom and he laid down covering his face with a pillow. How dare she say this to him after years of not wanting kids. After he found you to fall in love with, now she wants to be the wife he always wanted. He heard the door open and her quiet footsteps until he felt hands grab his cock. He shuddered and went to move but she grabbed his wrist saying "relax let me help you."

He could feel her hand squeeze and jerk his shaft making him hard again only with thoughts of you. He let out a groan then felt her lips wrap around his tip taking him deep within her mouth. Feeling her suck and jerk him all he remembered was you doing it, the way you took your time to pleasure and tease every part of him. "Ahh fuck darling." Sukuna bucked his hips and released his seed into her mouth as she swallowed all of him.

He had to admit its been a while since his wife did this to him but seeing her didn't please him like you did. Seeing how shy you were with his cum still on your lips and when you licked it away face full of innocence. Sukuna hated this back and forth with his heart. A plan needs to come quickly but either way it's going to lead to heartbreak.

Over a week you have not seen sukuna in person. You talked to him over the phone but it didn't feel the same. You also walked to the chicken wrap stand ordering two wraps hoping he will show up and surprise you. He didn't show up so you sent him pictures of you with the wraps telling him you have an extra for him to have dinner with you. But he just responded that he is busy at work, to much over time. He missed you dearly and it hurt his heart.

You texted him throughout the day telling him how much you love him and miss him. That night you ate both wraps alone reading your books while trying to keep yourself away from bad thoughts.

However during the following days your mood was bringing you down to a depressing state. You took a walk after work through the mall with your friends as they continued to bug you about sukuna. As they dragged you through different stores you were brought into a girly store. Your eyes caught the jewelry that was on display filled with both men and women items.

Your eyes scanned the display case and saw a thick black leather bracelet with a golden tiger on it. A smile formed on your face wanting to give a gift to sukuna as a thank you for the book. You bought it and got a black box with pink ribbon to tie around. You wrote his name across the box with a silver marker and added a heart to his name.

You wanted him to come over as soon as possible because you were too excited for him to get his gift but he didn't answer your phone that whole night. Maybe he is really busy with work.

Sukuna had to put his phone on silent during another dinner date with his wife she wanted to go on a nice little candle lit dinner at a small restaurant. It was just him and her sharing smiles and sending flirtatious smirks. Sukuna was completely forgetting about you.

He is starting to see a new light over his wife. She was actually changing and just maybe if this continues he can be in a happy marriage. To not have that worry about having an affair and the damage to his company.

Surprisingly to sukuna his wife didn't ask for sex and all she wanted to do was cuddle him in bed with a movie on in the background. When she went to sleep, Sukuna took out his phone and saw all the messages from you. The reality came sinking into his world. The reality that he is having an affair and seeing all your messages of you missing him. You want to see him. You're feeling lonely. Asking if he was upset with you. He can see how hurt you felt for him ignoring you. This was the first time that he has been pushing you away.

He gave you a text saying that he was fine, just tired. Maybe he can find a way to sneak out to you. Sukuna put his phone away and laid down hugging his wife.

The next day he was wondering why his wife was not getting up and groaning. She just started her time of the month so she pushed him away like all the other times feeling the cramps. He tried to help her but she groaned and pushed against his chest telling him to leave.

He sighed and said "fine I guess I am leaving now call me if you need me. I won't be in the office. I am going to a meeting outside the company. Love you." His wife just groaned at him as he sighed and left her alone.

Sukuna did go to the meeting talking about plans and making deals with the other men from different companies he has regularly met with.

However, it ended four hours early. He thought of using this time to finally go and see since he had pushed you off for a whole week.

When he got to your apartment he looked to see if anyone was nearby he recognized then quickly went to your door giving it a loud knock. He realized you didn't answer so he called you hoping you would answer but then he heard the ringing go to voicemail after two rings. He pulled his phone away from him, feeling his heart get heavy. Were you mad at him?

Then hearing the door unlocked from the other side he perked up excited to see you when the door opened he saw you and smiled. "Hey darling."

You looked at him with tired eyes and gave him a weak smile as you stepped to the side letting him in. As soon as the door closed you jumped straight into his arms hugging him tight.

He chuckled and held you close to him feeling his body get warm and his heart flutter. Being away from you so long he didn't realize how much his body missed you. It had a mind of its own and it wanted you only. He never felt like this when seeing his wife.

You held onto him then let out a whimper of pain, he heard the sound and put you down worried then watched you crouch down into yourself holding your stomach. He crouched down to your level saying "what's wrong?"

You shook your head and looked at him with pout. "It hurts kuna. My cramps." He looked at you in disbelief that both you and his wife started it the same time. Thinking you didn't want him around he hummed then said "do you want me to leave."

"What?! Why would I want you to leave? I hadn't seen you in a week and now you want to leave. No dumb ass, I want you to stay with me. Please, I missed you so much."

He gulped as you lunged back into his arms telling him to take you back to your room. Sukuna picked you up carrying you to bed and placed you down with a smirk. "So needy, pretty little thing."

His wife still never liked him being around when it was that time, she claims it is not attractive and makes her feel gross. You smiled at him but then looked away scrunched your face from the pain. Sukuna wanted to make you feel better. His hand slides over your hip and under your shirt to press it to your stomach and give it a gentle rub. Your eyes opened to look at him, seeing his handsome face and body dressed in his suit, making you smile with so much love for him as you raised a hand to cup his face and ran your thumb tracing his cheek and to graze over his lower lip.

"I love you my kuna."

He could feel his heart clench and ache hearing those words sounding so sweet from you. In a tone that he never heard from his wife it always sounds forced from her even till now when she is trying to force it out.

"Y/n do you have tea here?" You nodded "yes it's in the kitchen."

He pulled his hand from you saying "don't move, stay here I am going to try to fix you." He stood up hearing your giggles and said "kuna I am not broken I am just cramping."

Sukuna gave you a smile and left your room heading to the kitchen looking through the place finally finding your stash of tea. He rubbed his neck looking through the boxes then froze feeling the necklace still around his neck. "Shit." He quickly took it off and stuffed it into his pocket then went back to find the herbal tea he was looking for.

After brewing some hot water from your electric kettle he put a bag of chamomile and lavender tea with honey into your cat tea cup. A smirk formed on his face seeing the cup then went back to you.

"Here drink this love."

You sat up as he sat next to you holding your cup carefully handing it over. "Oh you found the ones I usually drink for my cramps. I was too lazy and in pain to move to get them. Luckily I have you to rescue me." You said, giving him a little laugh.

Hearing your laughs always makes his chest flutter happily, knowing he makes you laugh and happy. Sukuna took off his suit coat laying it on your bed to the side then laid down while waiting for you to drink your tea. You drank most of it and put it down on the table not caring about it any more because you just wanted to be in sukuna's arms after not seeing him for a while.

He watched you turn to face him and lay down getting cozy under his arm and nuzzling against his chest. It was just silence between the two of you but the love could be felt in your room. His hand soothing your back gently.

Maybe your body just wanted him around because the cramps eased up after, probably sensing your man next to you. "Sukuna, I want to tell you something." He gave you a hum, his eyes closed enjoying your comfort.

"Where have you been? Has work really been draining that much?"

He let out a heavy breath of air escape through his nose then pressed a kiss to your forehead. "Yes work is stressing me out a lot too much over time I can not get a break."

Your hand rubbed across his chest and led to his back rubbing him softly. "That sucks. I am sorry if I have been really annoying lately in wanting to see you all the time. I feel like a burden to you. Because you have your own life but I want to be part of it. Because I love you. And I am just worried that…you would not want me because I am too attached to you. I am sorry…kuna".

He could hear your voice croak and sniffles coming from you and he instantly felt his heart tear. He moved and softly rubbed your cheek making you look at him.

"No beautiful, do not say those things about yourself. I am happy with you. I love you with all my heart. It's me that feels like I don't not deserve you and I really don't. You have shown me what it is like to be in love to have a normal relationship. I appreciate you and everything you do for me. I don't want anyone else besides you."

A whimper escaped you as you nuzzled your face against his neck holding him tight. "Ryomen I love you more than my heart can handle."

Sukuna spills more and more confessions to you everytime he is with you because you make his heart feel what he really wants. His wife is already to far gone from him to want her back. He needs and wants you.

"Kuna, I got you a gift." He hummed curiously watching you move and turn to get into a drawer on your bedside table then pulled out a little black box with pink ribbon. "Here open it."

Sukuna sat up holding the box smiling at the colors you chose and began to unwrap the box. You held your hands together playing with your fingers feeling butterflies in your stomach worried if he was not going to like it.

He pulled off the top of the box seeing the bracelet inside and took it out to see the gold tiger charm.

"I know it's not much but I thought of you when I saw it and I wanted to get you something."

He smiled and pulled you saying "c'mere. I love it darling". You smiled and hugged him as he kissed your cheek. "Do you want me to put it on?"

"Of course, I need to see if it's going to fit." Sukuna chuckled and took the bracelet to slip it over his wrist and pulled the little ropes tightening it. He lifted his arm to you saying "how does it look?"

You smiled and held his hand turning his wrist to look at it against his skin. "Its perfect on you kuna." As sukuna laid down holding your body close to him he felt worse for even having to take off any of the gifts. He knows you be more upset if he stopped wearing the bracelet and ask questions. He will just have to tell his wife that it was a gift from one of the men during the conference meeting.

When the time passed sukuna woke up from a nap then looked at you. You were still by his side and in his arms he noticed you were asleep. He tried to wake you but you were passed out sound asleep. He smiled and gave a long kiss to your cheek and pulled away whispering 'I love you beautiful.' Sukuna grabbed his coat then left a note by your pillow telling you he had to leave and he loves you more.

By the time you woke up it was dark outside and sukuna was not beside you leaving you with a sad expression and whimpered when you saw the note he left. You placed the note in your drawer and held the pillow he was laying on, getting a smell of his scent that comforted you.

You couldn't come up with the courage to tell him how you feel about him. How much you needed him beside you every night. How your heart yearns for him. You had many thoughts wanting to be his wife. But you are always too scared to tell him because of the fear he would not want that. So you kept them aside.

You texted him that night to see if he was alright but you got no response and that was because sukuna was on the couch cuddling his wife making her giggle. Kissing her neck gave light bites to her ear as he poked her side.

Sukuna is playing with two women he knows it's wrong and he has to choose but not knowing what part of his life he wants.

Sukuna again didn't come to see you and only texted you for a few days leaving you alone with no response. You laid in bed hugging your pillow wondering what you did wrong. He became so distant lately. Tears filled your eyes and hid your face away from everything.

He finally saw the messages seeing you desperately trying to talk to him and saw the last message.

'Fine I guess I will leave you alone. If you don't want me any more then tell me. You don't have to keep ignoring me.'

"Fuck." He tossed his phone onto the passenger seat of his car gripping the steering wheel. He didn't know he could be so caught up in this life. He is ryomen sukuna ceo of his company and he is letting some little woman like you control his life usually that will piss him off.

But deep down he liked it because he loves you. Being with you all this time always weighed his heart to you and he can not think of anyone else to be with besides you.

He took out his phone calling the one person he could talk to about anything.

"Hey satoru we need to talk, meet me at the ramen shop I like. Thank you. See you there."

Sukuna drove off feeling his nerves rise, when he got there he let out a sigh and texted his wife saying he has a meeting outside the office to go to and will be home late.

Sukuna walked into the restaurant, seeing satoru's hand raise up calling out to him. He sighed and walked over taking a seat and already saw a drink in front of him. "Is this alcohol?"

"Why would I do that if I know you are driving? So what dirty secrets do you want to tell me?"

Gojo leaned over the table resting his chin onto the palms of his hands. As sukuna cleared his throat to say, "so this talk is only between me and you also nanami if you want to fill him in." Gojo took a drink of his tea and looked to sukuna waiting.

"I am in love with another woman."

"No shit". Gojo said with a smile as he pulled down his sunglasses to look at his pink haired friend. Sukuna growled and looked at his drink. "Can I speak fully before interrupting me with stupid remarks?" Sukuna then glared at him to make sure he understood, seeing gojo flick his hand to continue the talk.

"I met this little woman after I had gotten into a fight with the wife, she came home with hickies on her neck and told me it was no big deal. Stating she knows I cheat. I had enough of it so I left to get a break from her staying at my house. Then when I went walking to get chicken wraps I crashed into this woman."

Satoru chuckled saying "you could have killed her with that body of yours." "Shut up!" Sukuna snarled lowly at him then continued.

"I saw how cute and shy she was so I thought maybe I could get her into bed with my charm. But she didn't fall for it like most women do. So I made it my mission to try to get with her. The more I was with her the more I wanted a life with her. There is a lot more in detail of why but I won't get into it if you are smart enough to know."

He looked down and rubbed his face feeling stressed.

"When I got forced into this marriage I was fine and happy with it. Getting to fuck this beautiful woman that I was tied with not having to worry about anything else. Now being older I see the way two people in love looked at eachother and it was not the same look my wife gives to me. I want to have that life with a woman to go home and relax with her and have her wash away my stress and not give me stress. The woman I could finally experience romance with and have a family."

Satoru had already seen how his friend had been acting lately. He wasn't so grumpy all the time and he has a different energy. Sukuna looked at gojo then pulled out his phone to show him a picture of you. The white haired man smiled, saying "she is cute."

"Satoru, she showed me what it's like to be in true love. Everything about her is amazing, she is beautiful, sweet, cute, lovely."

"What about the sex?" Satoru asked as sukuna smirked and leaned back in his seat. "This little woman is sexy. She drives me crazy. She makes my heart flutter, swell and twist with passion. The sex feels amazing, let's just say I fit perfectly inside her."

Sukuna leaned back over the table to say in a low tone "I love the way she tightens around my cock every time I bring her to pure bliss."

Satoru shook his head with a smirk and said "you never change with those words ryomen."

Sukuna leaned away again and looked at his tea. "Fuck satoru I don't know what to do? Now my wife comes back after this trip stating that she did not cheat on me and now she wants kids with me and is acting differently."

Gojo hummed while taking a drink then looked at sukuna being serious.

"You know this is a serious matter, this affair can be big trouble for the company."

"You think I don't know that". Sukuna growled out.

"Well what are you going to do?"

Sukuna sighed and rubbed his face. "Gojo this is why I called you here to help me with this. I know I need to stay for the company but y/n is what I deeply want. I fell out of love with yami. And being with her doesn't feel right. Is it because I am guilty? Man, I sound pathetic talking about this."

Gojo let out a laugh then said "that is a good thing you are having feelings it means you are human and not a demon like others say." Sukuna smirked saying "thanks I guess but that doesn't help."

His friend smiled and pulled down his glasses to say "look ryomen just do what you want to do. I know that is what you do best. Whatever you choose I am still here for you. But I will say that little y/n girl she does do something to you that I can see. You look more alive with her."

Sukuna had left the little talk with gojo and went straight to your place, parking outside the building and staring at your door. Debating if he should should just go home after all. But his heart string was pulling him to you.

He made his decision when he got out of his car and to your door and gave it a hard knock so you would hear him. He looked at his wrist smiling at the bracelet you gifted him. His wife did question it but she didn't bother with it after he told her it was a gift from a meeting.

You heard a knock at your door thinking it was your friendly neighbor trying to bring cookies again. You opened it with a smile then froze in shock to see sukuna giving a soft smile. "Hey darling."

You crossed your arms, giving him an unamused look. "What do you want? I am upset with you. You ignore me for days, then you just show up thinking everything is fine." Sukuna gulped and rubbed his neck saying "I am sorry."

"You never want to talk to me kuna. I want you to talk to me about your life. What are you feeling? Tell me about your day. Tell me about what is bothering you. Even if it's stupid just talk to me please." He could see your eyes glaze over with tears, he hates to see you cry.

"No no please don't cry I am sorry. I am dealing with so much bull shit at work. I lose track of time and I am too tired. My ex is bugging me again." He quickly stopped talking from over saying things.

"Is that why you are ignoring me? Your ex wife is talking to you again. So you ignore me to have your attention on her. Are you cheating on me?"

You stepped away not wanting to say that and not wanting to know if it's true.

Sukuna walked inside pushing passed the door then closed it behind him locking it. "No beautiful I am not cheating on you trust me. Please. I love you." Why was it so easy for him to lie to you?

You didn't say a word just looking at him annoyed with yourself and him, not knowing what else to say to sukuna. He gulped and said "please say something." "Why?"

"Because I love you."

You looked away saying "do you?"

Sukuna felt a sting in his heart. Fine if you think he doesn't then he will just have to show you. With the thing you love to have over and over again. He walked closer to you and grabbed your face then smashed his lips to yours.

You wanted to be mad at him but you couldn't stay mad not with his intoxicating lips trying to devour you when you opened your mouth letting his tongue pass through across your lips. You let out a desperate moan into his mouth.

Sukuna then grabbed your hips pulling you flush against him and quickly pulled his lips away only to latch them to your neck. You tilted your head back letting him attack your neck with love bites marking you. "Ryomen.." You love the way they feel against your skin. He makes you melt every time.

"I am sorry for staying away from you because of work. But I can't stop thinking of you and having you in every way." He told you and went to squeeze your ass hearing a gasp coming from you. "Kuna hold on." He froze and pulled his hands away to watch you pull off your clothing just leaving you in underwear as he let out a growl mixed with a groan.

Sukuna attacked you again with his hands and lips. You moaned letting him have full access to your neck then he started taking off his jacket and shirt leaving everything on the floor. Just seeing his bare chest and abs covered with his black markings on full display his pants hanging low around his hips.

"Sukuna takes me to the room." You jumped into his arms as he carried you to the bedroom and kicked your door closed then pressed your back against the door with your legs wrapped around his hips.

Sukuna continued to lick and softly suck your neck while grinding himself against you, his lips trail over your collar bone going down to your breast taking a nipple into his mouth. You could feel his tongue swirl around your peaked nub giving attention to the other breast. Moans escaped from you while arching your back wanting to be flush against his skin.

The feeling of his hard length ready to break through with every push against you. Your hand ran through his hair lightly pulling on it. "Sukuna take me please I need you in me." He gave you a light bite to your neck then pulled you away from the door to take you into the bed and dropped you in it. Feeling your back lay across your blankets, you looked at him. He could see your cheeks tinted pink and breast perked.

"Fuck your sexy baby." You shudder at his word as it sends a tingle through your body hearing that deep tone of his lustful voice. Sukuna took off his pants as you looked away sliding off your panties and spread your legs for him. He chuckled with a proud smirk while removing his underwear then grabbed his shaft pumping himself while getting onto the bed again. Your eyes drifted to him seeing his thick cock in his hand while you bit your lip.

"Be a good girl yea and play with yourself." He heard a whimper from you and watched your hand trail down your body and settled between your legs.

His eyes were on you, watching you rub circles over your clit then plunge a finger into yourself then back to your clit. Your hips bucked a little with soft moans leaving you but you ached for something more.

Sukuna licked his lips, jerking himself squeezing his cock with a groan. "Yea that's it, good girl. You are such a good girl that maybe I should reward you with this yea?"

You stopped pulling your hand away and looked to see him stroking himself then nuzzled his hips between your legs.

"Sukuna, yes please. Just fuck me already".

"As you wish my love."

He gave you a smug smirk then pressed his tip to your entrance as he braced himself with his hands leaning over the top of you. His eyes locked on yours, you could see the lust mixed with love through his eyes. As he pushed all the way in as you moaned feeling him stretch you to the thickness of him.

Sukuna already began to thrust his hips going deep into you. He went slow at first to build that high you love so much. Your hand roamed his chest and shoulders then found their way into his hair as he leaned forward to capture your lips in a deep loving kiss. Your legs squeezed around him then nudged him to talk.

"Kuna go faster and harder. I want you to fuck me." He grunted with satisfaction then raised up to grab your wrist and held them above your head while he slowly rocked into you.

You never saw this side of him before seeing him be so dominant but caring at the same time it turned you on so much. He could feel you pulse around him from this new action making him smirk. "Oh you like this darling? Want me to go faster and harder?"

You gave him a nod with a response "yes more kuna." He let go of your wrist and gripped your legs to hike then higher over him folding you.

With every hard and faster thrust of his cock pressing against that good spot bringing you closer to your release. Moans of his name spilled from you hearing his deep moans and hot breath against the skin of your neck. Your hands tried to grip every part of his body holding onto his neck and the other around his shoulder. This man is everything to you and you want nothing else in life besides him.

"Ryomen…ryomen don't stop, keep going."

Sukuna's thrust turned into a rut, feeling his cock swell ready to release. With every pound of his hips you heard your bed creak. Moans and heavy breathing filled your room. Your nails started to dig into his back feeling the knot twist inside you. Sukuna looked at you, his eyes half lidded and leaned up to get a deeper thrust letting his body take control.

Staring into his eyes feeling so close and the tears formed, glossing your eyes from all the emotion. "Sukuna..s..sukuna." you called out to him as he did the same.

"Beautiful..love."

Finally feeling that snap of pure bliss you threw your head back scraping your nails across his skin on his back pulling him closer to you. "Ryomen! Sukuna!..ahh sukuna!"

You yelled his name creaming around his cock making it easier for him to slide all the way deep with the last few pounds he moaned deeply and louder than before slamming his hips against you and poured his thick milky seed into your womb. Sukuna pushed so far and gripped the blanket under you groaning your name. He hoped to breed with you for how deep he knows his seed went inside you, he wants a life with you.

He carefully laid on top of you,still feeling himself pulse inside you and breathed heavily in sync with your breathing. Your arms wrapped around his neck keeping him close to you not wanting to let go.

Hearing your heart thump loud against your chest. As Sukuna slowly pulled out, you let out a breath of air feeling the pressure of his cock leave you and already missing the feeling of him. But he kept his face nuzzled in your neck and his arms snaked around your body.

You didn't care about the pressure of his body resting on you weighing you down. You love him to stay close to you. Your hands went into his hair softly stroking his pink locks as the other drifted to his back to rub him. All your emotions started to hit you as tears filled your eyes.

Sukuna felt you breath hard then heard you whimper and squeezed around him with more soft whimpers and sniffles. "Why are you crying beautiful."

You buried your face into his neck letting cuddling into his arms and held onto him, he could feel the hot tears against his chest escaping from your eyes.

"Ryomen all I want is you. I don't care about anything else in my life except for you. I want to be with you for as long as I live. You make me happy. You make me feel loved. Your arms are warm, and safe. I love to be in them. And I don't want to lose you. I am sorry if I upset you somehow. But fuck ryomen sukuna I love you. You are my home and my heart. You mean the world to me. I..I love you."

Sukuna's heart broke and for the first time he wanted to cry because you are all he wants and he is going to lose you fast if he doesn't do something about it.

His mind is finally set on the next step. After tonight when he goes back he needs to divorce and get you in his life. But that would mean he needs to tell you the truth

"Y/n would you want to marry me? Am I good enough?"

You moved back slightly to look at him in shock saying "what do you mean? Of course you are good enough I will marry you in a heartbeat. Why?"

He smiled and pulled you back against his chest saying "just thinking. Let's get some sleep, love you wore me out."

You giggled kissing his chest then leaned up out of his arms to grab an extra blanket to put over him and you. "Goodnight kuna I love you." He smiled, saying "love you more sweet dreams beautiful." In an instant with the comfort in each other's arms, sleep took you both quickly.

His wife looked at the time seeing it was way past midnight and she was still up waiting for sukuna to get home. She scoffed and walked into the room. "This fucking stops now. He belongs to me."

She picked up her phone calling someone waiting for them to answer and when they did she smiled wickedly.

"Hello I need a favor. Yes, to track something. Can you find where this number is located?" She gave the person sukuna's phone number and said "send me the address when you find it please and thank you. You will be getting a payment for being so helpful, thank you."

About a few minutes later she got a notification on her phone and smiled wide seeing the info. "Sukuna say goodbye to your little slut."

oh what is this woman planning?! Things are about to go down. Sukuna just made his final moves in his mind to be with you.

Thank you for reading!

#ryomen sukuna #sukuna #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x you #ryomen x reader #ceo!sukuna #ceo!sukuna x reader #the affair

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zendyval · 12 days

Note

Z and Tom are a public couple, so she's not going to deny that when someone asks her. But we have to understand that just because she's not combative doesn't mean that she's ok with turning the promotion of her films into questions about her relationship with Tom, just like she doesn't cuss out fans that ask her for pics even if she doesn't feel like taking them. Even some of her answers about how Tashi and her are similar is that both of them have to put on a facade of strength even when they are crumbling inside. Imagine giving a presentation for your job about a project in which you have worked hard for a whole year and having the questions you are asked being about your romantic life

That said, her job involves simulating romantic relationships with others, and some ignorant members of the public have a hard time understanding what acting means. That's why we got so many viral posts about Z being a whore and cheating on Tom when the Challengers trailer was released. We've also had posts about Z cheating on Tom with Timmy. So it's understandable that both Z and Tom express love for the other and hype the work of the other to show that they are highly supportive of the job of the other. That's one of the reasons we got Tom posting about Challengers or Z about TCR or Z mentioning how Tom has the most charisma of a person she knows when asked about who has the most rizz in the Dune cast. They have to walk a tightrope between being publicly supportive, but not letting their relationship become the whole narrative of their careers, particularly with the entertainment press that's more interested in relationship gossip than in actual projects

I think it's too early for this and I am exhausted, lol. While I do think Z is always walking a tightrope of public Z and private Z and what part of herself she wants to open up for the world, I don't think we can assume either that she's internally pissed every time her boyfriend is mentioned. I think context very much matters and of course none of us know, but my personal feeling isn't that she was bringing up Tom unprompted on the Dune press tour to hit back about the Z cheating posts because why? Nobody who was sane was saying those things. I think it's just possible that occasionally as much as they try not to, that they are going to bring each other up. I fully get there may be times she's actually annoyed and some questions are out of line but I'm not sure I buy she's internally seething about things as innocuous as the flowers thing.

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only-bread · 1 year

Text

'tis the szn

I don't really remember when it all started, but I just remember always feeling this way.

sometimes I get really scared that I'll never feel ok with the way I look.

I feel like I'm living in a stranger's body. I never like what I see in the mirror. She's too round, too short, too much of everything I hate to see. I hope one day she'll just go away and instead of seeing this chubby loser looking back at me I can see somebody who is beautiful. I want to see someone who knows what she's doing.

Unfortunately, I don't think she'll ever be the one looking back at me. For now, I just stuck looking at all the things I hate about myself: my stupid round cheeks, my double chin that comes into view too easily, the dark circles under my eyes, my acne, my belly, by thick thighs and calves, my that's just way too big, my flabby arms, my alien-looking feet.

I wish I could just disappear. I wish no one would ever have to see me again.

Or maybe I could hibernate, go into a cocoon. I could stay there and feel sorry for myself for awhile and just hide from the world. Sometimes the light feels so penetrating and I want to cry and scream and die. Eventually, when all the noise stopped, I would emerge from my cocoon as a skinny, tall, beautiful queen. I would look in the mirror and instead of seeing the stupid fugly girl that stares me down every day - I would see someone beautiful. I wish I was beautiful.

I don't know why I think this way. It's not like I notice these things about other people. I love my family and friends no matter what they look like. I don't care about their hairstyle or their acne or what they had for breakfast. I just care about them as people, because that's what really matters. I don't notice the little flabs of skin, if they lose a pound or gain a pound - it doesn't even cross my mind.

Maybe I'm a horrible person for selling them so short, because most of the time I get so scared that if I look anything less than perfect everyone will leave me. I hope my friends love me enough to not care about what I look like. Still, maybe they would fall in love with me more if I was actually attractive. I don't think I'll ever know.

I kind of hate myself, and I'm trying to work on that. I think most teenagers hate themselves, to a certain extent. I only mean that I mess up a lot, and I hate myself for it. I wish I never messed up, that I could be perfect. People tell me perfect doesn't exist, but I know I can get close if I try.

The problem is that I see every little thing I hate about myself and it compounds into an enormous pile. There I am, standing in its shadow, and it feels like an impossible challenge to chip away at it. I never want to admit when I'm wrong to other people, but in my head all the things I'm doing wrong are just screaming at me.

Sometimes I wish I was someone else. Not like being another person in a different town with a different family or anything, but maybe just myself five years from now.

I wish I didn't let other people down, I wish I didn't let myself down, I wish I was better, I wish I wasn't so easily upset, I wish I was more reliable, I wish I was a better friend, I wish I liked myself for one single minute for even one day. I wish my nose didn't run when I cried I wish I didn't say hurtful things when I get mad I wish I had a better relationship with my parents I wish I was smarter I wish I could go to college and get on with my life I wish I was the person my best friends think I am I wish I got along with people more I wish I was thinner I wish I was taller I wish my ribs would start showing I wish someone would worry about me I wish I was beautiful I wish someone somewhere even once told me they liked me that way I wish I wish.

I wish I could go back to being a kid again.

I remember once Dad took me fishing. We went early in the morning. I wore blue jeans and a windbreaker and dad wore his signature sunglasses. He made me hot cocoa on the stove while I put on my shoes. It was still dark out when we left.

When we got to the lake the sun had risen and it was cold, but dad brought the green thermos full of stovetop hot chocolate. I didn't think it would still be hot, but it was so hot I burned my tongue. He told me all about how thermoses keep hot things hot and cold things cold. We didn't catch anything.

#not pr0 4na #not pr0 just for myself #notprojustusingthetags #an0r3xic #i want to be a skeleton #vent post #unintelligible rants #stream of conscious writing

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supernaturalgirl20 · 3 years

Text

La Secretaria

Pairings: Javier Pena x reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, explicit, angst, fluff, men being sexist, mutual pining.

Summary: being Javier’s secretary isn’t easy. He’s hot headed, stubborn and aggressive, but so are you. What happens when he finally meets his match.

A/N: I wanted to writ pure smut for Javier, been in my feels today so I needed this.

{Comments and reblogs really appreciated}

You’d heard the rumours, of course you had. There wasn’t one person in the DEA that didn’t know about thee Javier Pena. Hot headed, stubborn, flirt with anything in a skirt and his number one MO, visiting the local brothel. Stechner hired you to keep a close eye on Javier, or as he put it ‘tame the beast’. He’d gone through at least six secretaries since he arrived in Bogotá, which didn’t give you great odds but you were nothing if not a trier.

You arrived at the office early wanting to have everything set up before he came. At nine on the dot Javier arrived and when he opened the door to his office he was shocked to see you standing there, coffee in hand. He narrows his eyes at you before you feel his gaze roam over you. He runs a hand over his face before placing his hands on his hips.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Y/N, your new secretary Mr. Pena. I brought you you’re coffee and the file on the Rodriguez brothers. If you need anything else, I’ll be at my desk.”

He stares at you, if he was impressed, it didn’t show on his face. You walk towards the door, the one he’s standing in front of. You stop before him and look him in the eyes.

“Do you mind moving!”

His eyes lock with yours before glancing at your lips and then back to your eyes. He doesn’t say anything, just walks past you to his desk. Leaving the office you sit at your own desk and begin typing up some of his reports. The day passes quickly and as you get ready to go home, Javier pops his head out. “Where are you going? I haven’t finished for the day yet.”

“I can see that, Mr. Pena, but my schedule is 9-5, so seen as it’s 5:10 I’M finished for the day.”

You can tell he’s angry, see the thick in his jaw. “I have reports for you to type up, your schedule is whatever mine is, and I’m not done. So sit tight and type these up.”

“I will, in the morning. Goodnight Mr. Pena.”

“If you leave, your fired.” He has a sly smirk on his face, he’s waiting for you to put your things down and start working. He doesn’t know it yet, but your just as stubborn as him, so you call his bluff and leave. He quirks his eyebrow, he hadn’t expected you to disobey him.

***

The following morning Javier arrives to find you in his office again, files in one hand, coffee in the other.

“I fired you.”

“And yet here I am.” You hand him the file and coffee and walk out of his office. He’s speechless, and just stares after you. Continuing your work from the day before, your interrupted when an agent walks toward Javier’s door. Standing, blocking his way you put your hand out to stop him.

“He’s busy.”

“Who are you?”

“Mr. Pena’s secretary, and you are?”

“Agent Feistl, has he fucked you yet?”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s a no then. Early days I suppose, or,” he looks you up and down, “hmm not really his type are you. He likes them skinny and pretty..”

You narrow your eyes at him. “You think I haven’t heard all this shit before, you don’t intimidate me what was it Fritsle?”

“It’s Feis..”

“I don’t care, your not getting in. You want to see him, make an appointment.”

Feistl grumbles under his breath.

“What was that?”

Before he can say it again, Javier opens his office door and stands beside you. He places a hand on your lower back, “ why don’t you head out for lunch?”

“That’s it princess, run along.”

You stare daggers at him grabbing your bag and leaving. Feistl turns to Javier who has a stern look on his face.

“What did you want, I’m busy.”

“I want to go to Cali boss.”

“No.”

“What, why not?”

“We’re not placing any agents there, not yet at least.”

“Right well if they do I’d like to go sir.”

“Mmm”

“Gotta say boss, that’s one fine piece of ass you got out there.You mind if I have a go?”

Javier can feel his blood boil, how dare he talk about you like that. Sure he has a reputation but he treated women with respect. He didn’t really know you that well but you could stand your own which he respected. Your different from the others, your intelligent, stubborn and your absolutely beautiful.

“Don’t talk about Y/N like that, if you harass her again I’ll have you on the next flight home.”

“Ok, you got it boss.”

***

It’s been two months since you became his secretary and he has fired you at least fifty times. You know it’s a challenge, that he is testing you, but you don’t give up easy. He’s started being kinder with you, offering to buy lunch on occasion. Your currently sat with him in the meeting room taking notes as the ambassador rambles on. He’s berating Javier for sending Feistl and VanNess to Cali and you can tell from his shoulders that he’s angry. When the meetings over he stands abruptly and leaves. You follow behind him, staying silent, knowing he likes it like this when he’s mad. He gets into the elevator and holds it open for you before pressing the correct button for your floor.

“He’s a dick.”

Javier wasn’t expecting you to say anything, certainly not that. You think you see a hint of a smile on his face.

“I think you did the right thing sending them, fucking bullshit deal, it’s a cop out..”

You don’t get to finish what you we’re saying as Javier pushes you back against the metal wall. He’s on you like a rash. He’s kissing you passionately and you can feel the heat coming off of him. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you flush against him. You can feel his growing erection straining against his trousers. You run your fingers through his hair pulling a low moan from him, one that shoots right to your core. You can feel the elevator come to a stop, Javier does too as he slowly pulls away from you. He whispers in your ear, “come find me later when everyone else is gone.” Then your alone.

***

Finishing up some paperwork, making sure no one is left in the office, you slowly approach Javier’s door. You raise your hand to knock when the door suddenly opens and he’s standing there looking at you with hooded eyes. He pulls you into him and once he closes the door, your back is pressed against it. His kiss is rough, hungry, like a man dying of thirst and your his only source of water.

“Wanted this for so long.”

“Really? How long?”

“Since that first day.”

He makes quick work of taking off both your clothes before moving you to the couch. He sits and pats his thighs, “come here baby, want you to ride me.” You walk towards him with sway of your hips. He grabs you by the hips, helping you straddle him. You sink down onto him slowly, savouring the feel of him stretching you. He groans at the feel of you hot and tight around him.

“So….damn tight baby.”

You start moving your hips slowly against him as he grips your hips tighter. He sucks on your hardened bud earning a moan from you.

“Javi….oh god….I’m going to…come.”

“That’s it baby come all over my cock. Wanna feel you grip me tight.”

Your body tingles all over as it erupts in ecstasy. You come hard with his name rolling off your tongue. He begins you thrust up meeting your movements as he grows impatient. Suddenly he flips you over, your back hitting the leather on the couch. He grabs one of your legs and holds it against his hip as he thrusts into you without abandon. You can feel the beginning of another orgasm,

“I’m close baby, want to feel you come on my cock one more time before I come.” He can feel you clamp down on him as your orgasm washes over you.

“So beautiful baby, who do you belong to?”

“Yours , all yours Javi.”

That’s all he needed as he releases into you. He slumps on top of you, careful as to not crush you. You run your fingers through his hair and he sighs at the feeling. He pulls out of you slowly and grabs a cigarette. You sit up and fiddle with your fingers unsure of what to do now. Do you stay or get dressed and leave? You know his reputation with women, he doesn’t do relationships. Deciding it’s best to leave you get up and start dressing. He sits there watching you as he smokes his cigarette.

“If you wait we can go get something to eat?”

“I…I actually just want to go home, I’m exhausted.” You gather your things, not noticing the hurt flash in Javier’s eyes.

“Yeah, I might hit the bar.”

You say nothing else as you leave for the night.

***

Your relationship with Javi is complicated, you work together and most nights you end up fucking in one apartment or the other. You love him, you know you do, you have for a while. You also know that Javi doesn’t do commitment, honestly your afraid to even tell him how you feel. In work things remain professional, he’s your boss and no one suspects a thing. Feistl might have a hunch but that’s it. The only time he claims you in work is after a bad meeting with the ambassador or Stechner. Which brings you to your current situation, bent over his desk, him pounding into you from behind. He’s rough today, not that you mind, he pulls you towards him by the hair until your back hits his chest. He grabs your breast and gives it a tight squeeze. It’s slightly painful but it still elicits a moan from you.

“Shh baby, gotta be quiet. Don’t want the whole office to know how well you take my cock.”

“It’s….just so….good.”

You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve come and you can feel another one hitting you. Javi is close too, you can tell from his sloppy thrusts.

“Can I…come inside you baby?”

“Yes….yes claim me, I’m yours.”

He’s quick to pull out of you and tuck himself back into his trousers. You pull down your skirt and put on your underwear. You both didn’t notice that Feistl had entered the room, catching you both fix yourselves up.

“I fucking knew it. You too have been fucking each other. VanNess you owe me 50 bucks.”

“Jesus will you keep it down.”

“How long has this been a thing?”

You don’t know what to say. It’s not really a thing you both just fuck each other nothing else, much as you would like. Javi comes up beside you placing his hand on your lower back. He pulls you into his side wrapping an arm around your waist. You look up at him stunned by his actions, only to find him already looking at you with adoration in his eyes.

“Not that’s it’s any of your business, but it’s been almost a year now, right baby?”

“Eh…”

“Screwing the boss is the only way you’ll get anywhere darlin.”

You feel Javier’s grip on you tighten and you know he is going to blow.

“I wouldn’t get to comfortable either, he’ll kick you to curb as soon as he gets bored.”

“You need to shut the fuck up, or you’ll be out of here by the end of the day. While we’re at it, don’t ever speak about Y/N like that, she’s better than half of you idiots. Now get out of my sight.”

When’s he’s gone Javier turns you in his arms so your facing him.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, did that just happen?”

“Don’t worry about him. I’m not good with this stuff, but I… I eh…look Y/N I want to be with you. Not just for a night or her in the office, like actually be with you.” He’s fidgety and you can tell he’s not used to talking about how he feels.

“Is thee Javier Pena asking me to be his girlfriend?” Your teasing him but there’s a part of you that hopes that’s what he wants.

“Well I wouldn’t say…”

How could you have been so stupid, of course he wouldn’t want that. You pull away from him and make your way to the door. He grabs your wrist and pulls you to him.

“Where are you going?”

“Look Javi, it’s fine, we’re fine, I know what we have isn’t anything special.”

“Hey hold on, did you not hear me when I said I wanted to be with you?”

“Yeah I did, but I am with you, we fuck..”

“You didn’t let me finish. What I was trying to say is that we don’t have to use those titles, I mean we’re not teenagers.”

“What. I….we….”

He’s getting annoyed now and runs his hand over his face, “ ok if it’s not what you want that’s fine.”

“No hey I want you Javi, I want to be your girlfriend. I just didn’t think you’d want that, I mean you don’t exactly scream commitment.”

He kisses you and it’s one of those kisses that leaves you breathless. Pulling away he rests his head against yours.

“I love you. This is all new to me, I’ve never felt this way about anyone, not even Lorraine. I’m all in, for as long as you’ll have me.”

“I love you too Javi.”

Tagging:

@lunaserenade @anaaaispunk @librariantothejedi @day-off-inkyoto @asta-lily @maievdenoir @elinedjarin @dindjarinneedsahug @pascal-rascal424 @pintsizemama @seasonschange-butpeopledont @janelongxox @stevie75 @thorins-queen-of-erebor @dihra-vesa @loserrlauraa @kirsteng42 @ikinmahlen @almaeunice @jediknight122 @colorlesswhispersunknown @rosie-posie08 @alberta-sunrise @javierpinme @pascalisthepunkest

#pedro pascal x reader #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal #javier pena x female reader #pedro pascal x female reader #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal smut

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trailerparkbubbs · 2 years

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Ok obviously I love Bubbles but the relationship between Ricky and Julian is the core of the show and I think it stops working when it forgets that.

Their dynamic in the early seasons is what sets up their main internal and external conflicts. Julian is driven and ambitious and he wants to make a life for himself. He has plans to go to school, to move out of the park, to start a legit business and be successful. But everyone keeps putting the onus on him to take care of Ricky and (perhaps more importantly) Trinity, and he repeatedly has to sacrifice his own wants in order to do so. Season one ends with Julian making a big sacrifice for Ricky's sake – willingly going back to jail and destroying his relationship with Candy in the process.

Ricky is rash and temperamental and not very smart, but he's also self-aware, insecure, and loving and he really sees and appreciates how much Julian does for him, and genuinely wants to do better for Julian's sake, as well as the sake of his family. When Julian gives Ricky the Shitmobile, he tries to play it cool while Ricky hugs him and repeatedly says how much he loves him; in I'm Not Gay I Love Lucy Wait Maybe I Am Gay (aka the best Ricky/Julian episode of all time), Ricky drunkenly apologizes for fucking up, acknowledges that Julian is always "coming to his rescue", and again reiterates how much he loves him while Julian tries to play it cool.

While both characters do shitty things and make mistakes, they're ultimately both facing very sympathetic plights in the early seasons, and we can understand their motivations even when they're doing "bad" things.

The natural progression of this is that they start to resent each other. Julian gets frustrated with feeling like Ricky is holding him back, and begins to act more selfishly and get more jaded and bitter. Ricky gets fed up with Julian being "better" than him (tougher, smarter, even more attractive to Ricky's girlfriend and a caretaker to his daughter) when Julian hasn't been any more successful than Ricky, and starts challenging him more and acting less vulnerable towards him. This is essentially put into words in Countdown to Liquor Day, when Ray tells Ricky to stop putting all his time and energy into achieving Julian's goals instead of his own.

Unfortunately, maybe because of the huge hiatus in the middle of the show, it feels like we lose track of why Ricky and Julian have become the later-seasons versions of themselves. Instead, we just watch them get worse, and grow further apart, while also hugging and saying "I love you" at the end of every episode. Rock bottom is when Julian co-opts Trinity's wedding money, something season one Julian would never have done. And then he doesn't fix it – the problem gets magically written away, and he doesn't have to change his behaviour.

By the last couple seasons, Ricky and Julian's relationship seems to have completely fallen apart. Ricky is no longer appreciative of Julian taking care of him, and nor should he be – because Julian isn't taking care of him, he's acting in his own self-interest, no matter the collateral damage. The only reason they're still trying to be best friends is because Bubbles keeps demanding they stay together. When Julian leaves between seasons ten and eleven, Ricky gets his shit together, starts a legit business with Bubbles, and starts actually improving. Julian becomes a fisherman (although he is stealing lobsters) and gets a chance to make his own way without having to be responsible for Ricky. Both of them are, pretty clearly, better without each other – and something I wish they had addressed in season eleven is that things would have been better for everyone if Julian hadn't come back.

Things are still bad in season twelve; they get dragged into each other's messes, they commit crimes for each other's sake after attempting to go straight, and they hate each other's romantic partners. On Julian's part, this makes sense – Susan fucking sucks – but on Ricky's part it's the latest occurrence of his longstanding jealously towards every romantic relationship Julian has, and essentially just another way in which their friendship is destructive.

We're going to skip past the animated seasons for now because somehow, miraculously, in the Jail series something different happens: the show course-corrects. We get to see Ricky and Julian without Bubbles constantly present. Ricky gets in a bad place, and suddenly Julian is back to being responsible for him: talking him down at the behest of the guards who clearly know that dealing with Ricky is Julian's job not theirs; yelling at Terry when he gives Ricky dangerous makeshift drugs; doing everything he can to sneak weed in so that Ricky will stop putting himself in danger. When Ricky is lucid, he gives Julian a typically over-the-top grateful monologue, while Julian plays it off. They still bicker and disagree, but their relationship dynamic seems to be heading back towards season one – and contrary to most shows, that might actually be a step in the right direction.

#tpb #trailer park boys #sorry if i've said this exact thing before

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justkending · 3 years

Text

Moral of The Story. Chapter One.

Summary: Marrying too young out of highschool leads to a naive and failed marriage. Now 10 years later, word comes that the divorce was never actually completed. Bucky and Y/N have to come back together after all these years to settle what wasn’t all those years back. Passive attitudes, miscommunicated endings, and reminiscing of an old love all comes back for the two.

Pairing: Bucky x Y/N

Word Count: 2600+

A/N: Ok, here is the first chapter! If you have not already listened to the song that evoked this idea from my imagination land, I suggest giving it a go! Moral of the Story by Ashe. I’m excited for you guys to see what this story brings and I really hope I do it justice! As always, comments and thoughts are welcome as they help me grow as a writer and let me see what you guys notice:) ENJOY MY LOVES!!! <3

(The posting will be once every other day until I have finished the series. If I finish early, I will post an update once a day:)

Read the Prologue here first!

Chapter One:

"You already got the flight?" Nat asked, perched on Y/N's couch as she ran around frantically packing. "Don't you have a huge meeting next week with that new business? What was it called? Bee's Knees?"

"Yes, but it's not until Monday evening. I highly doubt I will be there longer than a weekend to sign a few divorce papers. I'm planning on coming back early that afternoon, so I shouldn't miss it," she answered, not even stopping to look at her as she ran through the rooms and bathroom in the apartment.

"How soon did you book that flight?"

"As soon as I hung up the phone with Murdock," Y/N sighed. Nat sent her a questioning look not knowing that name. "New lawyer. The guy who took over for the sleazeball known as Justin Hammer," she rolled her eyes.

"Right," Nat nodded. "So, are you staying at your dad's house?"

"I would take my dad's house over my mom and Jerry's any day. You know this," Y/N paused in her actions, sending her a bitch face.

"I know. Just didn't know if you'd be all fancy and rent a hotel room to escape the smothering that is bound to happen from good ol' Mr. Y/L/N," Nat grinned.

"It's been so long since I've seen him not via facetime. And we both know that's barely seeing him as he doesn't know where the camera is even after a hundred calls," she laughed.

"Parents. Either they're technologically challenged or know how to work it better than us. Never in between and it's weird." Nat watched as Y/N froze in her stance and looked lost trying to think of something else to pack. Deciding she needed a distraction, Nat changed the subject some. "Hey, did you get Melody to go on that date tomorrow?"

"Yes!" Y/N answered proudly. "I know your aunt wants grandbabies from her daughter, but that girl just needs a night on the town more than anything. She's in her early 20's and holes herself up at the office almost more than I do, and I'm the boss."

"Cousin's got my work ethic. What can I say?" Nat shrugged smugly.

"Well, she needs to get your spirit in living some too."

"Touche," Nat pointed. "I need to have Yelena take her out. She's the real party sister out of us two."

"That is true. How she's able to party for 48 hours straight and still wake up at 8 am for mimosas, blows my mind," Y/N commented on Natasha's younger sister. "She's only a few years older than Melody, right?"

"Yeah, Yelena is 24, and Melody is 22. They were best of friends growing up, but once they got to high school, they kinda went different routes about life. Lana, the party gal, and Mel the studious bookworm."

"I'm not surprised by either of those," Y/N shook her head before collapsing next to Nat on the couch. A loud breath and sigh escaped her body.

Nat watched as her mind escaped back to the original issue at hand.

"What's going on in that brain of yours, Y/N/N?" she said, softly touching her shoulder. "Not that I don't already know, but maybe letting it out will help unscramble those thoughts."

Y/N lazily rolled her head to the redhead next to her.

"How is he?" she asked.

Nat was a part of their friend group from middle school through high school. She kept up with all of them still, whereas Y/N kept up with all of them except one.

"I actually haven't talked to him in a while. Steve on the other hand..." Nat nodded. "From that source, it sounds like Barnes is just as surprised and freaked out as you."

"He's freaked out?" Y/N asked, a hint of interest peeking out.

"Who wouldn't be? You get a call from a lawyer saying your marriage is still intact after 9 years of breaking it off, I would be freaked out too."

"He deserves it. I hope he's just as freaked out as me, if not more," she responded bitterly, crossing her arms across her chest like a pouting child.

"Y/N," Nat sighed.

"No. Don't. Don't defend him to me, it's pointless," she put up a hand. "I know you're still friends with him, but you guys still don't understand the pain that that man brought on me."

"He fought for you, Y/N. He didn't mean-," Nat countered.

"Again, you're wasting your breath. Defending him now does nothing to change the past," she said stubbornly, getting back up and carrying on with her packing. "You can still take me to the airport tomorrow, right?"

Her best friend wanted to keep pushing, knowing she had harbored this heartbreak for too long. Sure what had happened between them sucked and was a horrible chapter of their lives, but neither made an effort to talk it out and understand the other's side of the story. Faults of being young, immature, and not knowing how to handle a grown-up decision.

"Yes, I'll pick you up at work at 10. Flights at 11:25, right?"

"Yes, and you know California traffic. That will probably get me there 10 minutes before my gate closes. I had to get an early flight though because that time difference is going to kick my ass. It'll be close to 5:30 in my head and 8:30 there by the time I land... " Y/N huffed, rolling her bag to the front door for tomorrow. "You mind taking this tonight and keeping it in your car for now? That way I don't have to lug it to work?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll grab it on my way out. But we're still having a girl's night, right?"

Y/N laughed some before going to the kitchen to grab beers. "I Survived is already recorded and ready for us."

___________________

"Shit man... When's the last time you talked to her?" Steve asked, sitting across from his best friend in the chair diagonal from the couch, leaning forward on his knees after listening to the new news.

"Since I was supposedly signing our divorce papers. And even then, we didn't really talk. She sat there quietly straight-faced until it was signed and then rushed out the doors," Bucky sighed, still trying to wrap his head around the situation. "She was out of the state within the next hour."

Steve nodded before falling back into the single seat.

"So, do you guys have to see each other again, or is it one of those situations where you can sign separately?"

"I don't know. I just got off the phone. All I know up to this second is that Y/N and I have been married for the past 9 years without knowing it," Bucky said somewhat harshly. Steve didn't flinch at the tone knowing it wasn't directed at him. "I'm sorry. I-I just can't wrap my mind around this."

"It's ok. This is crazy shit, Buck," Steve waved off. There was a long pause before Steve decided to ask the question he was sure anyone would want to know. "Do you want to see her?"

Bucky slowly looked over to the blonde. God, he had been asking himself that question for the past 10 minutes himself.

On one end, yes. He wondered where she was now in life. How she was doing. What accomplishments he knew she would be making. He knew a few small things just by the whispers and small talk of her with their shared friend group that he still hung out with, but a majority of the time, they didn't bring her up around him. They knew what it did to him.

On the other end, he never thought about facing her again. I mean maybe for the year after their divorce, but when he never heard anything back from her all those times he still tried to reach out and she blocked him on almost all forms of social media, he gave up any hope of them falling back into good terms again. He hated it, but he wasn't going to push her when she clearly hated his guts.

And honestly, he deserved it. His young, stupid, college self was not a smart guy when it came to relationships. Even ones that had been there from the beginning of time practically.

Yet again, she wasn't perfect either. She made some mistakes of her own that pushed him to act the way he had.

"Hey, you both are older and more mature now. I'm sure you if you guys do have to see each other again, you can handle it like adults," Steve reassured, seeing Bucky's face turn to a soft frown. "Ok, so she may be a little stubborn..."

"A little?"

"Ok, a lot. But she's older now. She's not the 19-year-old girl that you remember," Steve defended.

"I believe that but I'm sure she still holds a grudge that is very, very, very, very-," Bucky was going to go on about 10 more very's before ending with BIG, but Steve cut him off.

"You don't know that," Steve shook his head.

"Really? Because usually when you no longer hold a grudge against someone, you might just reach out to that person and reconnect possibly," Bucky argued. "I mean that's what mature people do, right?"

"Not always..."

"So she's either not mature or still just as stubborn. Hell, for all we know, both," Bucky shrugged, pursing his lips.

"If you go into this with that mindset, nothing good is going to come out of it." Steve pointed an eyebrow at him.

Bucky rolled his eyes not replying to Steve. He knew he was right, but he was still bitter after all these years about how Y/N handled the situation. Sure, he messed up, but she had to. Yet she made him into this big bad wolf that was at 100% fault in the downfall of their relationship. It made him feel like shit, and though he tried to make amends knowing he did some fucked up things, she acted like she was Miss Perfect and didn't do anything wrong the entire time.

Damn, even after all this time, it still lit a fire in his chest with annoyance and hurt.

"When's the meeting?" Steve once again interrupted his thoughts.

"I guess Saturday morning. They said they were coming in on their off hours to fix up a few cases they found like ours," Bucky answered.

"How many cases were there?"

"Eh, I think he said it was single digits, but there were a shit ton of other cases in different areas that were worse off. The divorce ones are a small number compared to those."

"Damn. That sucks for all the couples who got a call today then," Steve huffed, running a hand down his face.

"Yeah, you're telling me..."

"Hey, we were going out with Wanda and Vis tonight. You still up for that, or...?" Steve stood up.

Bucky looked back at the beer on the coffee table and then at the TV still playing I Survived stories quietly in the background.

"You know what? I'm going to need a stronger drink than an IPA to get me to sleep tonight," Bucky nodded, standing and wiping his hands on his jeans before walking to his room.

"Looks like I'm the DD tonight then..." Steve sighed.

___________

"Vis," Wanda motioned to her fiance as he came back from the bar. "Nat just texted."

"About what? How is she?" Vis smiled as he sat next to her with Sam across from him. Sam tagged along at the last second since his other plans got canceled.

"She's good, but it's not about her," Wanda waved off, still reading whatever lengthy text was sent her way.

"Wow, that looks like a novel," Vis noticed with wide eyes as he looked over her shoulder.

"Wait 'til you hear what it's about."

Sam shook his head as he took a sip of the beer Vis had brought over.

After reading the rest of the text out loud from where she had left off, everyone at the table looked at each other with shock ridden faces.

"They're still married?" Vis said softly as if it was a secret.

"Apparently..." Wanda nodded with wide eyes.

"So that Hammer guy was a sham?" Sam questioned.

"I told her not to go to him. He had some shady hole in the wall kind of establishment," Wanda chided. "But she said they needed something cheap and fast. She hated his guts and wanted it out of it then and there. Plus, they were 19. They didn't have much money anyway."

"Why didn't they just ask their parents for help?" Sam questioned. "Isn't Y/N's mom loaded?"

"Yes, but she refused to help her. She said it was her own fault for getting married so young and that she had warned her. Told her she had to get out of the mess on her own," Wanda answered.

"What about her dad?" Vis jumped in.

"Bucky and her dad were close. She was off in Colorado for school and didn't want to put her dad through that or make him have to help her in cutting him off. Bucky was like the son he never had and they were bonded at the hip. No matter how much Y/N hated Bucky, she wasn't going to ruin or take away his relationship with her father. That would have been cruel, and Y/N is anything but that."

"Weren't Bucky's and Y/N's dad's best friends?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, they were old-time war buddies. They're the reason Bucky and Y/N had known each other since birth. But Bucky's dad died when he was about 13, and Y/N's dad, Thomas, kinda took him under his wing. Growing up a teenage boy without a father figure messes with you, and Bucky was on the edge of a bad path after losing his father."

"He's still rather close with Thomas, but I'm sure Y/N doesn't know that. Unless Thomas has said something, and with how everything came to an end for the two, I'm sure he doesn't bring it up knowing how tender of a subject Bucky is to her," Vis added.

"Makes sense..." Sam nodded. "I only knew you all from the start of college, so I'm still a little lost in all the beginning stuff."

"All good. It's complicated with those two. Their past and upbringing are so interconnected with the other, it makes their downfall all the more intense and messy," Wanda sighed. "God, if this is the news, he's going to be a wreck tonight..." She looked up worriedly at her fiance who shared the same concerns.

"It could go two ways. Either he comes in all solemn and says three words all night, or Steve's going to be the DD and he's waking up with a head-busting hangover," Sam noted with a small grin at the thought. "I'm going to go with the latter though."

"Poor guy," Wanda sighed, taking a drink with a sad face. Ever the sympathetic one.

"We'll be here to listen if he wants to talk. If not, we act like we have no idea and don't bring it up," Vision spoke up, throwing his arm over her and running his hand up and down her shoulder.

"I'm going to tease him still most likely," Sam shrugged nonchalantly. Wanda sent him a warning glare. "Fine, mama bear! I'll be nice... Until he starts making a fool of himself." He added the last part quietly.

Moral of the Story Taglist:

@taylormobley @ximaginx @vicmc624 @leyannrae

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @heyiamthatbitch @lizzymacy555 @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses @pham-tastical

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk @princess-annna

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes @katiaw2 @aikeia

#bucky barnes modern au #bucky barnes x reader #justkending series #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes modern series #bucky barnes au series #bucky barnes highschool #bucky barnes x highschool sweetheart #bucky barnes highschool sweetheart #bucky barnes x reader insert #reader insert #marvel #marvel au #marvel au series #justkending

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astranva · 4 years

Text

Not One of Them.

// masterlist //

Word Count: 9.9k

Category: Fluff, single mom!Y/N

Warning: Some strong language. Slight mention of abortion. Not proof-read.

Note: time-skip to when covid-19 is dead ok

Summary: Harry is lyrically stuck, Y/N is the new big songwriter. She’s also a single mom to a 4-year-old girl.

Early italics are flashbacks.

When you’re a young mother, the world isn’t always the kindest, especially when no partner is in the picture.

While you were young, having had baby Faith when you were only 21, you applauded yourself for years for the effort you poured into raising a child alone – with the help of family and friends, and too many books and videos, but you get the point.

Faith wasn’t a mistake, you hate it when anyone even dares to imply so, but she was unplanned. You were in a toxic on-and-off relationship for 3 years, at some point believing that it might have been an open relationship because of the amount of times you caught your ex-boyfriend flirting with women and men right in front of you.

You had done your part after knowing that you were pregnant after one drunken night that led to a rough make-up session. You approached your ex, sat him down and broke the news;

“I’m pregnant.”

“Whose is it?” He had asked, face falling.

Yours scrunched up in anger, almost disgust at the implication. “Yours, you dumb-fuck! I don’t sleep around while I’m in a relationship like some people.” You had emphasized.

He ignored your comment, releasing a sigh. “You aren’t keeping it, are you?”

You were never against abortion. You were never against planned pregnancy. You had freaked out alright on your own when you were confirmed pregnant, but something inside you told you to hold on to the human inside of you, to that little bundle of oblivion – a little bundle of faith.

It was when he asked you that one question, his tone almost sure that you would abort the child, that you felt angry tears pool your eyes. “I am.”

He wasn’t ready to hear it and his wide eyes showed that, “Wh-What do you mean you are? I can’t have a fucking baby! This wasn’t supposed to get this real!”

“This real?” You had chuckled bitterly, “You stay with me for 3 years, fuck me over more than I can count then you always come crying for me, then tell me it wasn’t supposed to get this real?” You stood up, draping your bag over your shoulder, “I’m having the kid, Will. It’s over between us and-“ you gulped, swallowing back the tears as you pointed at him, “I never want to see you again.”

“You bet your fucking ass you won’t.” He had grumbled, tearing eye contact to look somewhere else but your death glare before you left.

Besides the university halls, Will had managed to stay out of your sight and you were grateful for that. Pregnancy was a roller-coaster, one you definitely screamed during all ride of, but nothing and nobody prepared you for the moment when you gave birth to your little love.

Your roommate and best friend, Cece, had driven you to the hospital and notified the rest of your family and friends, and you were glad that during that very period of time, you had someone beside you.

It was when you held your little love that it all faded away; the pain, the loss, the confusion, the fright – everything faded away the moment your skin made contact with your daughter’s, watching her with pure love and admiration.

You hadn’t picked a name before that moment, only nodding and smiling to the showering of recommendation from people, but one name wasn’t recommended, not even mentioned.

“Faith. You’re my little Faith.”

“You’re looking a little sick, honey. Have you been eating well? You overwork yourself-”

“Mom, mom,” you laughed quietly, tearing your eyes from watching your daughter play with her cousins before looking at your mom beside you, “I’m alright. Last project was challenging, that’s all.”

“Who were you writing for this time?” your mom asked with pride and excitement, curious to know the name of yet another big celebrity her daughter had been working with.

“Adele.” You smirked as you sipped your juice, hearing your mom gasp with a hand to her heart before letting out a small squeal.

In her dungarees and sandals, Faith ran towards you, making you set your juice aside to welcome your daughter in your arms. “Mommy, did you see me win Tag?”

“Yes! You were amazing!” You hyped your daughter up, pressing a sloppy kiss on her cheek, making Faith giggle.

With Faith standing between your legs, talking to her grandma, you checked your watch. “Ah, shoot. I better get going.”

“Will you be here for bedtime story?” Faith asked, looking up at you as you slung on your tote bag and held your car key in one hand before kneeling in front of your daughter.

“I will be, baby. Don’t give Nana a hard time, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy.”

“I love you.” With one last hug and a kiss on her cheek, you smiled at your daughter who clung to your neck, pressing a sweet kiss on her cheek.

“I love you.” Faith replied, moving to stand with her nephew after waving at you as you left.

“Call me at any time if anything happens or if you need anything, Mom, yeah?” You said as you walked towards the door, your mother following behind.

“Wouldn’t want to disturb your wo-”

“Mom.” You stressed, turning to look at your mom, “Nothing like that. I’ll get going. Thank you for watching her.”

“Oh, don’t thank me. You know I love spending time with little Faith more than anything. Drive safely, honey.”

“Hey, Andrew, got you a donut.” You beamed as you approached the studio’s receptionist, a 19-year-old intern.

“You’re an angel.” Andrew sighed in contentment as he opened the box containing his donut before looking at you, “Just adopt me. I guarantee I’ll be the best brother to Faith.”

You laughed, “Think having a 19-year-old son will make me feel old. I’ll pass.”

“Dammit.” Andrew shook his head jokingly. “Meeting with Jeffery Azoff, huh?”

“Yeah, do you know if he got here yet?”

“Like 3 minutes ago.”

You checked your watch again, finding that it was just on time for your scheduled meeting, feeling glad that you weren’t late.

“Alright, I’ll see you on the way out.” You waved at Andrew who nodded at you while raising his donut before you set off down the hall and into the elevator.

Walking out and down the hallway, you approached the room you had agreed to meet Jeffrey in before knocking softly, hearing a distant “come in!”

Gently opening the door and sticking your head inside, your eyes moved to the couch where 2 men looked up at you; one was Jeffrey – you had seen pictures of him from when you worked once with his father – and the other was, undoubtedly in your mind, none other than Harry Styles.

“Y/N?” Jeff asked, him and Harry standing as you walked in and closed the door behind you, approaching them.

“Yes,” you smiled, reaching for a handshake which he had happily accepted, “It’s great meeting you.”

Harry’s eyes were set on you, a small smile on his face that did everything but mirror the surprise he felt. He wasn’t sure why; he didn’t have any expectations but he certainly didn’t expect to see someone as radiant as you were.

You looked at him next with a polite smile as you reached for a handshake, “Pleasure meeting you. I’m a huge fan of your work.”

And God, his stomach flipped and his face flushed at the comment, feeling shy under your gaze as he shook your hand, “Thank you so much. Can say the same about your work, you’re very talented.”

“Thanks!” You beamed before motioning towards the couch, the 3 of you sitting down; Harry and Jeff on the couch, you on a chair across from them. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“No, thanks. Had the biggest cup of coffee just before coming here.” Jeff replied.

You turned to look at Harry, smiling and nodding when he raised his bottle of water.

“Alright, let’s get into it,” you leaned forward, “How can I help you?”

Jeff looked at Harry, signaling for him to talk.

“I know it hasn’t been a year since I released Fine Line,” Harry moved his hands as he talked, looking at the carpeted floor underneath him before looking up at you, “But I’ve been writing ever since but- something is missing. Something is wrong. I wrote 9 tracks so far, all of them are unfinished because I just feel like they’re missing something. I have the idea, have the concepts, sometimes I have the tunes,” he counted on his fingers, “But I can’t finish one song. It’s like I’m, like,” he shrugged, trying to find the right word.

“Stuck?” You suggested, staring at him with an assuring expression which he found soothing.

Harry’s body slumped, tilting his head slightly as he looked back at you and a soft, small smile made its way to his face at how you understood. “Yeah,” he nodded, “Yeah, stuck. That’s the word.”

“I get you,” you assured him, “Do you guys have any sort of deadline?”

“No, not really, no. Not yet.” Jeff shook his head.

“Great,” you clapped, your eyebrows going up, “Do you have any of these tracks’ lyrics now?”

“Yeah, lemme just-“ Harry reached beside him, holding his tote bag to take out his journal.

“Hey!” You grinned, grabbing his attention and making him look at you, seeing you holding out your tote bag to him.

You matched; right on the fabric in the middle was an illustrated design of a small cactus plant pot.

“I have the same one!” You looked down at yours before looking at him, Harry mirroring your actions before a grin broke out on his face.

“Well then, Y/N, it’s set. These will be the best songwriting sessions of the century. It’s fate.” He said dramatically in a joking manner, making you laugh quietly as you set your bag aside and he fished out his journal.

Flipping through the pages, he handed you his journal so you can see one of the songs he had half-written, watching as leaned back on the comfy chair, holding the journal in your hands and reading.

It was excruciating. Harry grew nervous, feeling funny in his stomach and he tried to convince himself that it might be the salad he had eaten prior to that meeting, and not that he was nervous you’d think he was the worst songwriter to-date.

He watched your eyes, taking notice of how you didn’t skim through the words, but read them carefully and taking your time to do so.

“This is really beautiful, Harry.” You said softly, eyes still on the page before looking up at him, oblivious to the breath Harry let out, “Really beautiful.”

“Thank you.” He smiled, discreetly wiping his sweaty hands on his pants.

“Not much damage really. The concept is clear. Post-breakup song.” You said, handing him his journal.

Harry nodded, confirming.

“Are the rest like that, too?”

“Not really,” Harry shook his head, “Figured that the last album had too many of that.”

You nodded, “Yeah, I understand. Just- I say take your time, honestly. I’ll help you with the songs you have, maybe we’d get inspired along the way to write new stuff, too, but you don’t want to force anything, you know? Sometimes some lyrics just aren’t meant to be, you know?”

“Yeah, you’re right.” He nodded.

“Don’t you worry,” you gave him a smile, “It’ll all work out.”

“Well, so do we have a deal?” Jeff asked with a smile, opening his arms.

“I’m in.”

Maybe it was because you said that as you looked at him, or maybe it was because he knew of how crazy talented you were – he had spoken to his good friend Ed Sheeran a week prior and Ed had sworn up and down on your talent and how “bloody lovely! Like a little bird” you were – or maybe it your smile – hell, it might be a combination of all that, but Harry was ecstatic to work with you.

“I’m very excited to work with you, Y/N.” Harry had said with a smile of his own.

“Likewise, Harry. It isn’t that common to find artists as real as you are.”

God, what was with your compliments that had him blushing?

“It’s a pleasure, Y/N,” Jeff, too, had said. “Let’s talk busi-”

“Let’s do that over lunch.” You pointed at him, standing up, “My treat.”

“You always this friendly with clients?” Harry joked with an amused smile, staring up at you.

But your smile dropped and instead, your face twisted to worry. “Oh God, I hope I’m not stepping boundaries. It’s just always a good idea to warm up to each other and- I’m sorry, you probably think this is unpro-”

“Hey, hey, no,” Harry was quick to stand, holding his hands out, “I didn’t mean it like that. I genuinely think you’re friendly. Half of the songwriters I worked with were strict and- Shit, no. Lunch sounds wonderful. Really wonderful.”

He felt like an ass. A proper one. He hadn’t meant to make you feel like you were too friendly but that didn’t turn out as well as he had thought.

“We’d love to, really. Besides, it’s probably a great idea that you and Harry know each other so the sessions can go smooth.” Jeff added, standing up.

At this, Harry found himself smiling when the smile returned to your face. “In that case, there’s a place nearby that makes amazing sandwiches and desserts.”

Jeff’s mind was squeaking from its gears working. There weren’t many people on this planet who were purely kind, and it was something he admired in Harry. But at that moment, Jeff knew he had met one more person who was genuinely kind, just like his best friend and “client” – he hated calling Harry that – and it was proof when you insisted that you could give them a ride to and from the place instead of them following behind you or using the GPS, Jeff sitting in the passenger seat during the ride to the place while Harry sat at the back.

The place was a 5-tabeled one, nothing big. One wall was decorated with polaroids of customers, the waiters and waitresses, the chefs, and another with colorful stick-notes with messages from customers. It was a lowkey place, one that Harry hadn’t visited during all his trips to the studio until that moment.

“Hey, Y/N!” The woman behind the counter beamed as she waved.

“Hi, Soph! How are you?”

Soph stood from the chair she was sitting on, taking a few steps back to show her pregnant bump, putting one hand to it, “Ready to pop!”

You had motioned towards a table to Harry and Jeff who were quietly watching the interaction.

You gasped, “Look at you! And you’re still coming to work? What a queen.”

Soph shrugged, sitting back down, “Got mouths to feed and a self to pamper.” She said before waving at Harry and Jeff, “Hello, gentlemen.”

Jeff waved with a smile while Harry added, “Hello! Congratulations on your pregnancy.”

“Why thank you, Mr. Styles.” Soph replied.

Harry liked it. The no-freaking-out. How homey it all felt.

“Rick will be with you in a sec.” Soph said.

You, Harry, and Jeff sat on the circular table, both Harry and you hanging your tote bags on their chairs.

“You come here often, huh?” Harry started the conversation, crossing his arms on the table and leaning forward.

“You have no idea. You’d think I don’t know anywhere else.” You chuckled, “Been coming here ever since I was in college.”

Harry’s eyebrows went up in surprise, “Really? How long ago was that?”

“Graduated 3 years ago, first came when I was 19 so that’s about 6 years.”

“True loyal customer you are.” Harry said.

“What did you study, Y/N?” Jeff asked.

“Music composition. Was the disgrace of the family.” You joked, “Definitely had no idea the entire time if I would actually work or not.”

“But look at you now, one of the best.” Harry motioned towards you.

You waved him off with a bashful smile, “None of that. I still have no idea what I’m doing most of the time, I just get paid now.”

“Who even knows what they’re doing now?” Harry rhetorically asked, “We’re just, going with the flow.”

“Word, sir. Word.” They heard, the 3 of them turning to see the waiter – Rick – by their table.

Harry laughed, “Right?”

“Absolutely. I don’t remember the last time my plans didn’t get fucked. Just riding now.” Rick shrugged.

Harry raised his fist up for a bump, Rick bumping his fist into Harry’s.

Time seemed to pass as Harry and Jeff let you order for them, talking about the music industry and sharing funny stories while at it, as well as you had discussed your own business as you ate the club sandwiches and sipped on the iced tea.

“What are you doing?” You asked with a funny face as Harry took out his wallet after you had asked for the check.

“Paying?”

“Yeah, no. Said it’d be my treat.” You pointed at him, raising one eyebrow with a smile.

“Come on, I can’t just let you pay for us on the first day we meet.”

“Let’s at least split the bill.” Jeff suggested, watching as you shook your head.

“Absolutely not.” And with that, you stood up and walked towards Soph, paying for the food.

“How much do you want to bet that something will happen between the both of you?” Jeff asked quickly with a smirk, looking at Harry with a knowing look.

Harry’s eyes widened, tearing his gaze from being on you to his friend and manager, “What?”

“How much?”

“I just met her.” Harry tried to reason with him, finding Jeff to be bizarre and irrational. Hopeful, but irrational.

Jeff only gave him a shrug, “That’s a first.”

“That’s enough rom-coms at night for you, Jeffrey.”

At the sight of you walking back towards them, they both stopped talking and instead, smiled. “All sorted.”

“Thank you so much, Y/N. You really didn’t have to.” Harry stood, slinging his tote bag on his shoulder.

“I wanted to. Please don’t mention it.” You had smiled as you replied, the 3 of you putting back your chairs. “Bye, Soph!”

“Bye, sweetie!”

“Congratulations again on your pregnancy and good luck.” Harry put both hands together, pursing his lips into a polite smile at the woman behind the counter.

“You’re a sweetheart. Thank you, kind sir.” Soph joked, tipping an imaginary hat at him to which Harry responded to by holding up the tips of his imaginary skirt, putting one foot behind the other in a curtsy making you giggle.

With no spoken words, Jeff was quick to get into the backseat, pursing his lips to stifle his laughter at Harry’s face, who looked at him with wide eyes and an expression that screamed “What the fuck are you doing?” but he got into the passenger seat nonetheless, oblivious to the light shade of red that visited his cheeks but aware of the heat his face seemed to radiate.

The ride back to the studio wasn’t quiet. The radio was on for some background music but you and Harry were too engaged in a conversation to take notice of the songs playing. Anyone could have asked you what even started the conversation of French toast and you wouldn’t know how to reply because none of you knew how you suddenly began talking about French toast.

“Have you tried soaking the toast in lemon?” You asked, tone excited and face breaking into an eager smile.

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, “Haven’t, no. How good is it?”

“God, it’s,” you shook your head, almost closing your eyes in delight as if you tasted the toast that moment but refrained because you were driving, “It’s so good.”

So what Harry secretly wished the ride was longer? He wanted to talk about French toast. That was definitely why.

“Y/N, it’s a pleasure working with you.” Jeff said, “Thank you for the food.”

“It’s no problem.” You smiled at him, turning around to look at him once you were parked.

“I’ll wait for you in the car.” Jeff said, patting Harry’s shoulder before getting out of the car.

Harry took a breath, slapping his hands against his thighs, “Well, that was fun.”

You nodded, looking back at him with a bashful smile that you mentally scolded yourself for; why were you getting bashful?

“Is it alright if I take your number from Jeff?” Harry asked quickly, “Uh, so we can schedule meeting up for the sessions.” He quickly added, “The writing sessions.” He nearly cringed at his addition and he guessed you caught on because you giggled quietly before straightening your posture.

“Actually, Jeff has my business number. Maybe you can just, take my personal one so I can reply faster. You know, the sooner the better.” You cleared your throat, nodding to yourself.

Harry’s lips stretched into a side smile as he looked at you before he coughed and nodded, “Definitely. The sooner you reply, the sooner we meet. For the writing sessions.”

“Yeah and I can give you the lemon toast recipe.” You said before your eyebrows rose up, “For business purposes, of course.”

Harry’s smile widened at that, holding out his phone for you to take after he unlocked it. “I’d love that.”

You typed in your number before handing his phone back to him, watching as Harry glanced down at it before your phone began ringing, “And that’s mine.” He said, watching you unlock you phone and type before you locked it back.

“Then it’s settled.”

“I’ll text you.” He smiled before opening the door and standing out, ducking to look at you, “Next time, lunch is on me.” And with that, Harry gave you a wave before closing the door and walking away, only giving you a smile over your shoulder and another wave before getting into the car with Jeff.

After getting some snacks from the grocery’s with a shit-eating grin on your face, you drove back to your mom’s to pick Faith up.

You stood on the other side of your car, watching the door open before you saw Faith, her backpack on her back with her grandma standing behind her.

At the sight of her Mommy, Faith was quick to grin before running to you and into you arms as if she hadn’t seen you 4 hours ago.

You hugged your daughter, pressing a kiss to her hair as you did. “Did you have fun?”

Faith nodded before she pulled away from the hug, still keeping her arms around you, “What about you? Did you have fun, Mommy?”

You almost blushed as you remembered, opting to reply a simple reply instead of getting into details. “I did. Ready to go?”

After giving Faith a shower and giving yourself one, too, you and Faith were sat in the comfort of your cozy apartment, sitting on the couch and watching The Greatest Showman for the umpteenth time seen as it was Faith’s favorite. With her cheddar cheese and lettuce sandwich in her right hand and favorite dinosaur toy in the other – a “Megalosaurus not a T-Rex, Mommy” – Faith was cuddling into your side while one hand of yours played with her wild hair as the other tapped absentmindedly on your phone’s screen, eyes set on the television.

“And if it’s crazy, live a little crazy.” Faith sang along with Hugh Jackman, eyes wide as if she was seeing the movie for the first time.

“You can play it sensible, a king of conventional.” You joined her, peppering kisses on her cheek causing her to squeal and giggle.

As Faith sang along with the song, you opened your phone’s camera before switching it to video, flipping the camera so that it was the front one. You started recording, the screen showing you your face as you smiled with pride, tilting it so Faith was shown as she sang, unaware of you recording.

Only 12 seconds into the video, a message pop-up had your eyes traveling to it, falling on a text preview from none other than the young man you were with that day – Harry.

‘Hey, Y/N. Sorry to bother but would you be able to send me that lemon toast recipe? Might treat myself to it tomorrow morning. Sorry for the bother. :) Harry’

After stopping the video and opening the text and reading it, if it weren’t for Faith, you wouldn’t have known that you had a grin on your face.

“Why are you smiling so big? Did Auntie Cece send a picture of her cat?” She had asked, looking up at you with curiosity.

Looking down at her, you laughed slightly at yourself. “No, she didn’t.”

“You look happy.”

There were many things you loved about your daughter, many things you were in awe at. As only a kid, Faith was one of the most empathetic people in your life and that moment as you both cuddled on the couch was proof.

With a matching grin, Faith’s eyes twinkled with glee at the sight of her smiling mom, curious to know the reason.

“They aren’t singing This Is Me yet!” Faith added, knowing that the both of you usually laughed and giggled while singing that song, only because you always sang it so dramatically and at the top of your lungs.

“Just happy you’re finally done with the sandwich because now I can do this!” And with that, you tickled her, Faith breaking into laughter and giggles as she tried to stop you.

5 minutes later, Faith was back to watching the movie while you typed a reply.

‘hey, harry! it isn’t a bother 😊 i’ll write it down and send it in a moment :))’

‘Thank you! x’

And you wrote it down and sent it to him, adding little notes, too just to make sure that he perfected the toast.

‘let me know how that goes for you :) x’

‘Will do, love. Talk to you soon. Goodnight :) x’

‘goodnight, harry x’

As if your little love took that as a sign, you looked down at her as you felt her body grow heavier against you and noticed her breath get steady, seeing her eyes closed as she snoozed.

Carefully, you turned off the television before holding her with your arm so she didn’t fall down as you stood, bending to carry her before kneeling a little to grab her fallen dinosaur, letting out a tiny groan as your back ached.

Tucking her in her bed, you sat beside her for a moment, brushing her hair back softly before bending to kiss her forehead.

“Story?” She sleepily asked, struggling to open her eyes.

You chuckled, “You’re already asleep, nugget.”

She hummed, still struggling to open her eyes, “Okay. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You smiled before standing up, walking towards her small vanity and turning on her star light lamp.

Just as you were out of the door, you lingered, turning to look back at your daughter, “Was I really smiling big?”

In her sleepy state, Faith managed to reply. “Very big, Mommy.”

You chuckled to yourself and shook your head before walking out and towards your own room.

Harry felt like a kid. He was too excited that morning to get up and get on with his breakfast, wanting to deny that it wasn’t because he wanted a reason to text you, but who was he trying to lie to? No one, he was alone.

He followed the recipe, chuckling and laughing to himself during some moments when he was about to fall for some mistakes before reading your notes and saving his toasts, as if you were sitting right there and monitoring him.

His playlist was playing from his phone that he held in his hand, and he was humming along as he placed the two toasts on a plate before adding some powdered sugar to them and grabbing his juice.

Before eating, Harry had taken his time in taking a picture of his breakfast, thankful for the natural light his kitchen window was giving for his little photoshoot.

He was just as much nervous as excited as he sliced up a piece before taking a bite, taking his time to taste his work and his eyebrows shot up and he blinked twice in surprise.

It was so good.

While eating another slice, Harry held his phone and opened his messages app, going to your contact.

Attaching the best picture from his breakfast photoshoot, he added a text with it,

‘Tastes incredible! Would have burned it to coal if it weren’t for your notes hahah x’

And he put his phone back on the table, open at your messages as he continued eating while listening to music.

He was mid-sip of his juice when you replied and Harry hated how excited he got because the next thing he knew, he was having a coughing fit that had him go tearful before finally calming down.

‘looks incredible, too! oh trust me, i know. burned a fair amount of toasts on my own so i decided to spare you the damage. you’re a quick learner :)) x’

That morning, you and Harry exchanged multiple texts, drifting from his breakfast to how you both wished to have dogs.

It was around 4 when you were driving back with Faith from her gymnastics practice when Harry called, thankfully just as you were unlocking the door to your apartment.

“Hey.” You smiled to yourself as you answered, taking off your shoes by the door beside Faith’s before closing the door behind you, watching as Faith went to the bathroom to wash her hands.

“Hi,” Harry, too, was smiling to himself as he held the phone close to his ear, “I was walking around and I found this tiny restaurant that reminded me of where you took us yesterday and, apparently they make the best Italian pizza. Was wondering if you wanted to grab pizza with me and we can talk about, you know,” he chuckled, “The sessions.”

You thought, mind instantly going to who would watch Faith as you went before your eyes fell on your daughter who came back, whispering to you if she should wait for you in the bathroom seen as you were on the phone.

“One second,” you said to Harry before moving the phone from your ear and muting the sound, “Yeah, baby, do that. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

You unmuted, “Hey, sorry about that.”

“No worries.”

He was growing nervous at how you were yet to reply to his suggestion, having already had been nervous enough to suggest and call in the first place.

“Pizza and talking sound lovely.”

He released a breath, smiling to himself. “Great, great! Pick you up at 6?”

“Sure, yeah. 6 is great. I’ll go now. See you soon, Harry.”

“See you soon, Y/N.”

You didn’t trust strangers to watch your daughter, didn’t exactly trust strangers in your house unattended, too. It’s why at times when you couldn’t drive the 40-minute drive to your mom’s, your best friend, Cece, was always your go-to and that was especially nice because she also lived two buildings away.

Cece’s job was one from her home, making food and delivering it to people while she managed her business on her own through social media and it was why most of the time, she was home and always happy to have her goddaughter keep her company.

After calling Cece to make sure she was okay with babysitting Faith for some time and her assuring you that she was, you prepared dinner for your daughter after giving her a shower.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me leaving, baby?” You asked as you sat with Faith while she ate the pasta you made her.

It wasn’t frequent of you to leave Faith for anything but work. Maybe for a night out with some friends every now and then but you always went out with them for 3 hours tops before you began feeling guilty for leaving your daughter and going back to get her so you can spend time together instead.

And it wasn’t like you were frequently going on dates either. Cece had pushed you into it when Faith was 2, and you did go out a few times with different people, all whom you never heard of whenever they knew that you had a daughter and then you decided that maybe the single mom life was just too welcoming of you.

Hell, you didn’t know whether you should call having pizza with Harry a date. It wasn’t, was it? Not that you’d mind but it was for business, wasn’t it? Strictly business. Or maybe it wasn’t and that was fine by you- and now you were beginning to feel like a teenager again. Great.

“Mommy,” Your 4-year-old huffed, rolling her eyes, “I’m a big girl. You should have more fun.”

You couldn’t believe that you were getting advice from a 4-year-old, especially your daughter, but you deserved that.

“When did you get so big?” You rhetorically asked, “Thank you for being understanding, Nugget.”

Faith smiled at you, kicking her legs as she ate. “Where are you going?”

Now that question you weren’t prepared for, as much as you thought about it.

You couldn’t risk telling too much to Faith, knowing that she got excited over new people and couldn’t risk disappointing her if Harry ended up being, well, not one to stick or friendly to kids of single moms.

But at the same time, your daughter was your best friend. It was because of your honesty with her and how you acknowledge her and treat her that she was an understanding and empathetic person who could hold a conversation.

“Well, you know Harry Styles? The man who sings Canyon Moon?” You asked, knowing that that song was on her top favorite songs list after she had heard it once on the radio as you were driving her to her practice.

She nodded, “The pretty man with drawings?”

She had been curious to see the face behind her favorite song and once you showed her a picture, her smile got big and she had said that he was “very pretty” and had “nice drawings that she wanted to color in” meaning his tattoos.

You chuckled, “Yes, that one.” Again, Faith nodded. “Well, I’m helping him with his songs and I’m going to have dinner with him tonight.” You said, crossing your arms on the table.

Faith dropped her fork, looking at you with wide eyes and an open mouth, causing you to laugh heartfully at your daughter. “Mommy, really?!”

You nodded, opening your phone’s camera to record her, Faith not caring.

“Mommy you’re meeting Harry Styles!”

“I am,” you laughed, “Are you happy?”

“Very happy I’m going to cry!” She gasped, “Can I see him? Please, Mommy, please!”

“I don’t know, Nugget. I might have to ask him.”

“Do you think he’ll say no?” She frowned, “I can wear my Harry dress!”

And by her Harry dress, she meant the Fine Line black tee you had bought her, and even though it was sized small, she was only a toddler so you had resulted for her to wear it as a dress after you had trimmed it and its sleeves and had your mom fit it as tight as she could without damaging it. Needless to say, whenever your daughter wore the oversized tee dress, you had to snap multiple pictures of her because she always looked too adorable and fashionable in it.

“I don’t know what he’ll say but I’ll ask him. And yes, you can. You always look adorable in it.” You smiled, still recording her.

“Can you tell him I love his songs? I love Canyon Moon so much an-Oh! And Sunflower, too!” She grinned, “Are you going to show him this video?” Faith asked as she looked at you.

You shrugged, “You want me to?”

She nodded excitedly before looking at the camera, “Mr. Harry, I love you very much, sir. I hope I can see you but Mommy said she’ll ask you so please say yes. Make Mommy happy, not sad. Goodnight, sir.”

Your heart might have as well exploded that moment as she waved before you ended the video.

As if he was waiting for you to finish, your phone began ringing the moment you stopped recording, finding Harry calling you which made you instantly pick up the moment Faith began eating again.

“Hey, do you like strawberries?” He asked, the moment you picked up.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion but a silly smile took over your face nonetheless, “Uh, yes?”

“Alright, great. I’ll see you soon. Bye!”

To make matters easier, once Harry had texted you that he was 2 minutes away, you grabbed your bag and left your apartment and into the elevator before walking outside your building, just in time to see a yellow Ferrari Dino pull up.

You smiled at him, watching as he parked before getting out, “Did I keep you waiting for long?” He asked as he approached you.

“No, just came down.” You answered, watching as he reluctantly slightly opened his arms. He was a hugger.

You wrapped your arms around him in a greeting hug, taking notice of how good he smelled. Just as good as he looked; he was in off-white textured knit Wales Bonner polo, paired with his Gucci flared denim pants and off-white Converse. Nobody should be allowed to look that good in casual clothes.

It wasn’t like Harry’s mind wasn’t doing flips at that moment, too. Instead of smelling like overpriced perfume, you smelled like coconut and roses; a refreshing smell that made Harry’s smile deepen enough for his dimple to make appearance. You, too, were in casual clothes; violet colored cropped culottes, a white tee tucked inside, white sneakers on, a black and white cross-bag and your hair was up in a messy ponytail that was kept by a hairband but you wrapped a black and white head bandana around the band just for the looks.

You looked effortlessly beautiful.

You both walked to his car, Harry opening the door for you before grabbing something from the passenger seat before you sat – a bouquet of strawberries.

“Didn’t know what type of flowers you like so,” he said before extending the bouquet towards you with sweetest and giddiest smile, “Hope that’s okay.”

You almost melted, your face changing to a pout as your head tilted to look at him while you accepted the bouquet, “This is so nice of you. Thank you, I love it.”

Alright so you don’t get strawberry bouquets to people you aren’t going on dates with, right?

The ride to the little pizzeria was nice – comfortably nice. You had shared the strawberries there and your stomach did a thousand flips when you offered Harry one only to have him open his mouth,

“I’m driving.”

And then he opened his mouth again, biting the strawberry you offered with your hand, laughing when it was about to drip on him if it weren’t for your fast reflexes – thank motherhood for that – as you held out your other hand beneath his chin.

By sharing strawberries, you mean you ate some as well as fed Harry some.

You both mentally took notice of how conversations flowed so effortlessly between you, as if you had met years ago and not just a day. Hell, even the texts were random and messy as well as entertaining and fun.

The drive wasn’t a long one, only about 20 minutes before Harry was parking in front of a place called ‘La Pizza’.

You both went outside the car, you waiting for Harry by your side as he walked towards you.

You might as well have melted right there and then when you felt Harry’s hand, very gently, on your back. It was very gentle, you almost didn’t notice and you felt that he was just making sure that he wasn’t making you uncomfortable but it was a reflex action of his. Nonetheless, you appreciated the concern and decided to show him that it was okay to touch you when you touched his arm as you both walked through the door.

Harry gulped, feeling hot as you touched him and he almost scolded himself because it only lasted for a second, yet there he was, getting flustered already. What the fuck was going on with him?

A waitress greeted the both of you, smiling widely as she motioned for you to follow her inside the place.

“There are more tables on the roof, would you want to check that?”

Harry looked at you the same moment you did at him, both of you nodding to each other to say that you wouldn’t mind.

“That would be great, thank you.” Harry said, smiling politely at the waitress who nodded and walked in front of you with the both of you following her up the stairs, Harry’s hand now more comfortably on your back as he walked behind you.

The roof was beautiful; cliché but beautiful fairy lights of small globe bulbs hung above the place, only 3 tables there, each at a good amount of distance from each other.

“Would you want to sit here or downstairs?”

Harry looked at you, you giving him a nod. “Here would be fine.”

The waitress nodded before guiding you towards a 2-chaired table. Harry had sat you down first before moving to his chair.

“Thank you.” You both said in unison as the waiter placed 2 menus in front of the both of you.

“I’ll be back to take your orders.” She smiled before leaving.

“Looks good.” You smiled at him before looking down at the menu.

“Didn’t know they had a roof.” Harry said, “This saved me.” He chuckled.

You looked up with confusion, “Saved you from what?”

Harry shrugged, now growing nervous. “Uh, wasn’t sure if taking you out for the first time here was chivalrous enough because it felt too casual, like a friends thing and not a date but now here seems right.”

He wished the ground he was on would split and swallow him whole. Wished to crawl up a hole and cry.

There were things he was practicing on on the way to you; like how he would hide that he was a nervous wreck, how he was excited to spend time with you, how he knew almost every single song you worked on, and finally, how he wouldn’t spill that he thought that was a date, no matter how much he wanted it to be.

You were amused. Contrary to how Harry truly felt, you thought it was nice that he was straightforward.

“Figured this wasn’t too casual the moment you gave me the strawberry bouquet, Harry.” You smiled, assuring him that you were okay with this being a date.

Looks like it wasn’t business after all.

Harry chuckled, raising an eyebrow, “That was nice, wasn’t it?”

You laughed, “Yes. Don’t think I was ever given a bouquet of fruit so yeah. Really nice.”

You both went through the menu, commenting on some plates and ingredients as you did and contemplating together.

“Maybe we should just get two pizzas and share, so we can try more than one option.” You suggested.

“Good idea.” He agreed, “What do you think of Quattro Formaggi?”

“Ooo, yes.” You then pointed on another topping, “Pizza Melanzane?”

“Yes.” Harry closed his menu with a nod.

Shortly after, your waitress came back and took your order before leaving.

“Finished a song yesterday.”

Your eyes widened as you took a sip of water before putting the glass back down, “Really?”

Harry nodded, “Yeah. A new one.”

“You mean you wrote a new one? Not finished writing one you already had?”

Again, he nodded, putting his arms on the table. “New. Very much new.”

You grinned at him, “That’s amazing. What is it about?”

Alright maybe he didn’t think that one through. He did write a song the previous night and he was proud of it and his gut did tell him that it would make it to the list of his next album, but telling you about it on your first – and he hoped it wasn’t the last – date? Well, not so ideal.

“It’s about opening up to someone new. Trying love again and unraveling yourself to the other person.”

Maybe it was because of your situation, but your breath hitched in your throat.

“You know when you get fucked from an ex and love as whole and you think that you don’t want to go through that again and you, like, close off,” Harry explained, “And it’s like you’re immune to feeling any sort of love or interest in anyone after that. Sure, maybe some sexual attraction here and there, but never something wholesome, you know?” He motioned with one of his rings clad hands as he talked, “But then you meet someone and you feel like a teenager or something,” he chuckled, “And it’s a nice feeling, it’s wonderful, that you start thinking that, hey,” he tilted his head, “Maybe I can do this again.”

You were speechless.

You were a woman of words, hell, you worked with words, but right then, you barely remembered the alphabets.

“You- You get me, right?” Harry asked.

You broke out of your trance, nodding absentmindedly, “Yeah, yeah, I,” you paused, an airy chuckle leaving your throat, “Man do I get you.”

He smiled in amusement, “Relatable?”

“Too much, you had me by surprise.” You answered honestly, releasing a breath.

It wasn’t a surprise to Harry that somebody broke your heart; it was always the good ones who got their hearts broken and got fucked over, always the givers.

But he couldn’t shake the feeling of shock at who would possibly have you at arm’s length, with the ability to kiss and cuddle you, and decide to break your heart?

See, maybe Harry had just met you but you know when you meet someone good. Someone kind. Especially when you’re in an industry that is full of shitty people and too many cold snobs.

“When was it?”

You understood his question, understanding that he meant to ask you about when your heart got broken – when somebody fucked you over.

“5 years ago.” You answered, “You?”

“2.”

“Cheers.” You joked, raising your glass of water to clink it to his, chuckling when he did clink them.

“5 years is a long time.” He commented, gentle with his tone as were his eyes.

“It is,” you agreed, “Got over him, really.”

“You met someone after?”

His question made you think again of your answer, causing you to giggle before correcting yourself, “Got over him as a person but not over the whole thing.”

Harry chuckled, “So no.”

You shook your head, “No. Didn’t have the heart to.” And even though your sentence carried double meanings, you took a mental note of that same sentence just for future songwriting sessions. “What about you? Met anyone after it?”

“Not really,” he shook his head, “Friends set me up with some people but it never went further than a day.”

“You don’t click?”

“No,” Harry answered before a small smile made its way to his face, “I didn’t.”

Your face grew hot, breaking eye contact to glance beside you for a moment.

“How long did it take to write that song yesterday?” You asked, turning back to look at him, growing more flustered to see that he was already looking at you with the same smile.

“Think 25 minutes.”

Your eyes widened, “Inspiration really did hit you, Harry, huh?”

“Grabbed the journal and guitar and I just ran to the studio at home, and it just,” he shrugged, “Happened.”

“Let it keep hitting you like that and we won’t be working together.” You said with a smirk.

“Then I’ll purposely distract myself whenever it hits me so I can see you.” Harry was quick to reply, a smug smile of his own on his face.

“Oh my God.” You whispered under your breath, shaking your head as you covered your face, hearing Harry laugh before feeling his hands on yours, guiding them down.

Shortly after, your waitress was back with your orders; both pizzas looking mouthwatering.

You and Harry decided against utensils, exchanging slices with your hands and granted, as Harry had said, they did make the best Italian pizza.

After the pizza and paying, you and Harry had grabbed ice cream from the parlor right next to the pizzeria before sitting in the car, remaining parked as you laughed about everything and anything.

“And I had no idea that Paul McCartney was right behind me the entire time. It was awful!” You finished, laughing more at how hard Harry was laughing at your story.

“Would’ve changed my name and moved out of this planet if I were you.” He teased you as he regained his breath.

“Oh, shut up!” You laughed, rolling your eyes at him.

Harry laughed, reaching out to place a hand on yours, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Embarrassing shit happens to me everyday, too. On stage is the worst.”

You tried to ignore the tingly feeling that rushed within you at his hand over yours, but good heavens, you were a goner. “The falls?”

“At some point I thought it was good my tour got postponed because I see myself falling during most of the songs. Imagine Watermelon Sugar, I’d be a clown.”

You laughed, “Probably so,” you teased him, batting your eyelashes jokingly when he feigned shock, “But really, you’re an amazing performer. I actually have been to one of your shows once.”

Harry’s eyes widened and as did his smile, “No way.”

You nodded, “The one in Glasgow in November.”

“You’re telling me that we were in the same room and-“ Harry paused, shaking his heads as he let out a chuckle of disbelief, “Wow. Alright. Did you have anyone with you?”

“Was just me and Faith.” You answered nonchalantly, only realizing once you did before your looked intently at Harry.

“Is that a best friend?” He asked, “Did they enjoy the show?”

“She did, yeah. Very actually,” You chuckled, remember how surprised you were at how 2-year-old Faith at the time was actually very interested and was dancing in your arms the entire time. “And she is my best friend at some point but she’s my daughter.”

You didn’t know what you were expecting but you definitely weren’t expecting Harry to grin excitedly.

“You have a daughter?”

“Uh, yeah,” you nodded, a small smile on your face as you inspected him, “I do. She turns 5 in December.”

Harry only seemed to get more excited at the news, which made your heart flutter at the sight of.

“Do you have a picture?”

“Yeah, of course,” you smiled more then, eager to show him your beautiful girl before unlocking your phone and opening your photos album, only to find the most recent addition to it – the video. “Hey, actually, she wanted me to show you something.”

You gave Harry the phone to watch better, most of the time keeping your eyes on him. Harry’s cheeks sported a shade of red at how highly your daughter spoke of him, laughing and giggling to himself as he watched.

“Nooo, I won’t say no. I’d love to meet her.” He cooed, continuing to watch.

As the video ended, Harry handed you back the phone, “Please let me meet her. And what’s that Harry dress?”

And so you told him about your adventure with the tee, to which his heart seemed to grow a thousand times more at.

“I wasn’t aware kids loved me, I’m sorry you couldn’t find her size.” Harry frowned, feeling genuinely bad.

“Hey, no,” you assured him, putting your other hand on his – that was still resting on yours – “Don’t worry about it. You don’t exactly sing the alphabetics, Mr. sex-inspired-my-last-album-and-I-made-it-on-shrooms.”

Harry giggled, shrugging at you.

You both talked some more, only about Faith. Harry’s eyes were wide with admiration when you told him about how you raised her alone – also assured when he realized that the father wasn’t exactly in the picture even though his heart broke at that – and he showered you with compliments of how brave you were to raise a kid alone.

“Think I should head back now. I still need to pick Faye up from my best friend’s.” You said, leaning your head on the headrest as your body was turned towards Harry, his hand sandwiched between yours on your thigh.

“Can I help?” He asked, “Only if that’s okay. I don’t want to be crossing my limits.”

Your eyes searched his, growing emotional at the man in front of you. “Are you sure?”

Again with the double meanings.

That time, Harry noticed, his face softening as he looked back at you. Softly and ever-so-gently, he leaned to press a soft kiss on your cheek, “I’m sure.”

As he drove, you and Harry held hands on your thigh, the both of you singing along to Fleetwood Mac on your way.

As you gave Harry directions, he was absentmindedly rubbing your hand with his thumb. If you would have told him that he was doing that, he would have denied it; not because he wanted to deny it, but because it felt too natural that he didn’t realize he was doing it.

“Right here.” You pointed at a building, “She’s two buildings away. You can go, it’s a short walk.”

“I’ll wait for you here.” Harry said, parking before turning to look at you.

“Harry, seriously, you can leave if you want. I’m right there.” You pointed at your building.

“Nonsense, love. I’ll wait here.”

You sighed in contentment, giving his hand a squeeze before getting out of the car and into the building.

“Why did you not tell me that you were on a date with Harry fucking Styles?” Cece whisper shouted as soon as she opened the door, “Knew from Faith, you shit.”

“Because you’d overr-“

“He could be the one!”

“-react. You’d overreact and plan our wedding.” You teased your best friend, “Where’s Faye?”

“Won’t you come in for a drink?” She asked before turning, “Faith, it’s your mom!”

“Can’t. Uh,” you cleared your throat, “Someone’s waiting for me.”

“Some- No fucking way!” She exclaimed, muttering a “sorry” when you hushed her, “He-Harry is downstairs? Are you shitting me?” Cece excitedly asked.

You couldn’t stifle the smile on your face as you nodded.

Cece was about to talk some more before Faith appeared beside her, her backpack hung on one shoulder as she rubbed her eyes.

You knelt down, hugging her. “Hey, Nugget. You sleepy?”

Faith only nodded, wrapping her arms around you as you carried her, feeling her rest her head on your shoulder and you instantly knew that she slept.

“I’ll text you, alright?” You whispered to Cece.

“You better.”

Carrying Faith as well as having her backpack in one hand, once Harry saw you, he was out of the car and rushing towards you, taking the bag from your hand.

“Thank you.” You smiled thankfully, noticing how he walked beside you and guided you to the car, opening the door for you and sleeping Faith before closing it as gently as he could.

The lack of backseats made Harry place the purple backpack on his lap as he drove towards your building, a seconds drive.

He stopped the car and was out of his seat the moment he parked, slinging the bag on his shoulder before helping you out, taking your bag for you, to which you quietly thanked him for.

“Um, you can place the bags on my shoulders or something.”

“I can help you upstairs, come on. It’s no problem.”

You knew he was set on it and you let him, mostly because of how surprised you were that there were people who didn’t cringe and run the moment they knew the other person had a kid.

Harry did all the work; opened the building’s door for you, pressed for the elevator, pressed your floor number and had even taken out your keys once you told him to to unlock the door.

“Come in, come in.” You whispered.

Unsure of what to do, Harry walked inside and mirrored your actions by taking off his shoes before lingering.

“You can follow me.” You whispered again, turning around for a moment to look at him with a smile.

A quick take of the apartment was what Harry could do as he followed you, feeling an emotion of comfort and coziness engulf him as he did.

You were never less thankful for yourself for every time you changed Faith into pajamas before taking her to Cece’s, because it only made the process of tucking her in easier.

Harry had helped you by moving the covers so you could place Faith in bed before he stepped back, letting you tuck her in.

He smiled, watching how you seemed to shift around her or even when you just talked about her, like she was the most important person in your life and he knew that she was exactly that.

Faith was beautiful, and more often than not, you were glad that she got most of your looks and not her biological father’s because it only meant that he really was out of your life.

Harry noticed it, too. She had your nose, your lips, your facial outline, and your hair color. And from what he had seen in the video from when Faith was awake, she had your eye color.

You placed a kiss to her forehead before turning around, your eyes falling on Harry whose eyes were set on Faith with a ghost of a smile on his face.

His eyes came up to you and you noticed that he was still holding on to Faith’s backpack and was wearing your crossbag across his own chest.

You smiled as you grabbed the backpack from him and putting it aside on the floor before looking at him.

The only light in the room was from the hallway, making the room dimmed and making the both of you in a much more sentimental moment.

“They usually run away when they find about Faith.” You whispered, stepping closer to him, “Now is your cue.”

Harry’s eyes were on yours until they glanced at your lips, and butterflies erupted in your stomach at that.

“Thank God I’m not one of them, then.” He replied gently in a low whisper before he leaned closer, shamelessly looking at your lips.

It was you who took the final step, closing the minimal space between you by placing your lips on his.

His hands went to your waist as yours went to his neck, feeling him kiss you back softly but eagerly before pulling away from less than a second to tilt his head, getting a better angle before his lips were back on yours.

“Mommy?”

Pt. 2

#THE LONGEST I HAVE EVER WRITTEN #AAA WHAT DO YOU THINK #wellbeafinelime #Not One of Them #NOOT #harry styles imagine #Harry Styles #harry styles fiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #fluff #fluff one shot #harry styles fluff imagine #harry styles fluff #single parent!reader #single parent reader

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itsagrimm · 3 years

Text

Darth Maul one shot.

This picture was an inspiration for it so pls leave some love there.

bury me 6 feet deep for the cheesy ending. I deserve it.

Darth Maul x Y/N gender neutral reader without description of appearance during his reign on Mandalore

Later: Savage Opress x Y/N

Summary: You and the snappy crime boss have been friends for a while. You enjoy each other’s company and spend your free time being good ol' meanies together. Savage joins you in a surprising twist.

CN: talk of bad dates and murder, talk of sex and relationship, alcohol consumption

1700 words

The office was empty except for a table in the middle, a few chairs, and a giant window across the large doors. It was a minimal arrangement, and the inattentive visitor would have considered it bare or tasteless. But the inattentive visitor would see the man behind the table as a threat, a monster, a murderer and not the most beautiful and powerful centre of the room.

"Maul!"

He looked up from his work. Intelligent eyes met Y/N. Instead of an answer he raised an eyebrow and waited.

"Lord Maul."

He nodded. His power always had to be recognized first. Even by you.

"Y/N. What a surprise. I thought you were busy. Sit down."

You bowed to your lord before taking one of the chairs in front of the desk.

"Yeah... the date didn't go so well."

Maul leant back and casually put one leg on one of the armchairs.

"Oh really? Do tellwhat the man, who will likely have an unfortunate accident now, did?"

You smiled.

"Oh yeah, accidents can be so surprising. It's always so sad when someone dies. Especially when the concerning man had the audacity to only talk about himself during the date. He did not even ask my name. I don't even know why I went outside for that."

Maul grimaced.

"I don't think one accident to this"- he gesticulated into the air before spitting out-" boy will be enough."

"Yeah. But maybe he is not worth it. It takes a lot of work and effort before someone dies. And I actually have other things to do."

The dark sith lord, criminal master mind and successful general rolled his eyes.

"Your reluctance to make your enemies pay always surprises me. You need to put in the work sometimes. It can feel so satisfying to see your enemies bloody and begging before you."

"I know. You are so right. But right now, I just needed to vent. Do you wanna get out of here?"

He looked at the desk. It was full of holopads, data carts and actual paper.

"Yeah. I am done for now. Let's go."

XXXXXXXX

“Why are you always so extra?”, you tried to compliment Maul who was striding through the palace gardens before you.

He did not even flinch before answering.

“You call this extra? I call this a casual. I have not even tried to impress yet.”

You chuckled.

Maul was wearing dark pants made from silken fabric, an equally dark thin coat with leather armoury shoulder pieces and no shirt therefore showing off his muscular chest and his dathomirian tattoos. He looked good and he walked like a man who knew he looked good.

“Alright. Next to you I feel like an ugly Bantha after my horrible date and little time to change.”

He turned around and checked your outfit.

“Yeah, I can see why you feel that way.”

You gasped.

“Maul! Don’t be mean!”

He smiled.

“Come on, that one was just low hanging fruit. And you know, no one can tease my beautiful and extraordinary friends except me. So this little bad date boy’s life is still hanging on a thin thread.”

“Ok. let’s plan his untimely death tomorrow. I need a drink today.”

“Works for me.”

XXXXXXXXX

The bar was busy. But the Lord of Mandalore and his company got a table at the more private back of the bar, giving you and Maul the chance to observe and gossip.

“Do you see that man over there?”, he pointed at an armoured warrior at a faraway table, “He looks cute. He would definitely be a better date than your last, at least in the looks department.”

You checked the man. He was chatting with a few other Mandalorians. His armour was of a clean blue colour and it was well kept.

“Meh, that armour is a bit too shiny for someone actually using it. And who goes into a bar while wearing a whole set of an antic armour anyway? No, this gives me show off vibes and I don’t like it.”

Maul shrugged before sipping at his martini.

“You will stay single forever, dear Y/N.”

“What is so bad about that? You are single and appear to be doing perfectly fine.”

“I am the Lord of this dominion. I can do what I want anyway and the words >single< or >in a relationship< cannot not really describe my love life.”

“That’s an awfully complicated way to say you get laid.”

He smirked.

“You can say that.”, he rolled the words of his tongue with particular enjoyment, “But unlike you I am not coming into other people’s offices to lament about bad dates.”

“Just drop the date already and pass me the bottle. I don’t want to talk about the mess that is my love life. How is your life going?”

“Embracing the mess can give you strength. Don’t try to detach yourself from the bad but learn to enjoy it.”

“Is that a Sith thing?”

“Partly. I would consider it a sentient thing. We all are constantly confused, emotional and graving for something. Instead of denying that try to give in and enjoy the chaos. Cheers.”

You clinked your glass filled with fine Mandalorian wine against Mauls martini.

“My life…” he continued, “is alright. I think I can enjoy this. It has been a long time since I felt like I belonged somewhere. And it feels nice to have purpose outside of my own calling. It is nice to know that someone might miss me should I choose to leave Mandalore. My brother likes it here, you are a good friend and reigning Mandalore … and others… is a welcome challenge.”

You smiled.

“I’m glad you feel that way.”

For a few moments both of you stayed silent. You did not know what else to say and Maul was lost in some memories he was not willing to share right now. You two had always worked like that, close and chatty yet respectful and discreet.

“My brother…”, Maul started to talk, “My brother would enjoy this. But I can never convince him to come along.”

“Maybe he does not like loud and busy places. He strikes me as the type who gets stressed out by bars instead of enjoying this.”

“No”, Maul looked into his glass searching for words, “I think Savage would enjoy spending time here with us, with you.”

You starred at Maul.

“What do you mean?”

“I think he likes you. And I think he is shy about it.”

You felt your skin getting hotter.

“You like him too!”, Maul called out his eyes nearly sparkling with excitement.

“No!”

“No? I will tell him that!”

“No!”

“You have manoeuvred yourself into a trap.“

“Why are you torturing me? I don’t even know your brother well. He seems nice and-”

“Oh darling, no night brother is niceunless we want or have to.”

Maul, lord of the sith, slayer of jedi, regent of mandalore and matchmaker of his brother’s fate looked at you with an evil delight. Seeing you here, squirming about your feelings and insecurities in regards of his tall and handsome brothers was most likely the after work entertainment he enjoyed the most.

You took a deep breath.

“Ok, my love life is in your hands. I give up. What now, Maul?”

“Your love life was always in my hands.”, He replied patronizingly while starting to type a his personal com.

“Are you sending a com to your brother?”

“No, just sharing a thought with the chancellor. YES of course I am contacting Savage.”

“He will hate it here. I told you. It is loud and busy.”

“Well then then you two better get out of here fast.”

You glared at him.

“You are unsufferable, Maul.”

“And you love me for that.”

You forced a smile.

He basically beamed with delight at your reaction.

“Well, give savage my regards. I got to go.”

“What? Where are you going?”

“I have ruler of mandalore things to do. Much less entertaining things than you and my brother might do tonight.”

“You can’t leave me here. I will die of embarrassment in front of your brother.”

“Then it was nice meeting you. Any wishes for your burial?”

“Maker, you really are-“

“trying to help you embrace the chaos? Yes, I do indeed.”

You were speechless.

The thought of staying and having a kind of forces surprise date with Savage was a good thought but at the same time you felt unprepared and intrusive towards Savage.

“Ah yes, there he is already. Faster than expected.”

Maul waved towards the entrance at the bar.

Savage was standing there.

He was tall and broad as ever. His ocker skin and horns sticking out of the Mandalorian crowd. And his face had the expression of a painfully reserved man.

When he saw Maul, he started moving through the bar.

When he noticed Y/N his expression hardened.

“Good to see you, dear brother. I was a bit careless with my time tonight, so I must leave early. But my dear friend here had a bad day, could use some company and maybe someone to escort them home later, only for safety of course. Would you mind?”

Mauls voice was nonchalant, as if he had no other motives.

But Savage knew his brother too well.

“Is that it, brother?”

“Ah yes, savage! What else do think there is?”

Savage studied Mauls face for a moment before gazing at you like a commander checking a serving soldier for injuries.

“Alright. I will stay.”, he finally said.

#maul being sassy #darth maul #maul #darth maul x y/n #darth maul x reader #darth maul x you #darth maul fluff #star wars #star wars the clone wars #mandalore #party in a galaxy far far away #savage opress #savage opress x reader #dathomirian #sw:tcw #swtcw #sith lord

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savagesbonergarage · 3 years

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ok, i need SMUTTY thrawn. like anything you wanna write

Don't we all 😏

I’m weirdly a little upset with Thrawn right now for ridiculous headspace reasons, so this is gonna be interesting. I think I have a good idea, though...We’ll see how this turns out lol

Update: Wow this has a lot of feelings??? Apparently I needed to get that out of my system *shrug*

A/N - Tried to write this for a gender-neutral reader so let me know how that works 🤐, longer than I expected but what else is new, yeah feelings like I said, but it turns into you domming Thrawn so I think it’s worth it, face-riding, cumming in pants, role-play? kinda?, the smut’s at the end

Thrawn

“Neglect”

“What is this?” you asked with a knowing curiosity and no small amount of irritation in your voice.

You held the painted helmet in your hands, Thrawn’s gaze never leaving it until he eventually answered you through a defeated sigh. “It belonged to one of the rebel captives I’ve been tracking. The boy Jedi.”

“I see...” you retorted unflinchingly, inspecting the crude loth-cat design on the front of it through hardened, yet undeniably sad eyes. “So this is what you’ve been up to this entire time? Spending your vacation working instead of...”

Instead of being with me, like you’d promised.

The chiss finally rose from his seat, although he still couldn’t bring himself to meet your eyes. He was fully aware of the situation he’d created, of the promises he’d made and failed to keep, and most importantly the lies he’d told in order to continue tracking this particular band of rebels. “I...I apologize for disappointing you.”

You uttered a scoff, nearly rolling your eyes at his words. After finally catching him in the act when he’d sworn he was too tired to stay up with you and was heading straight to bed all these nights, it was difficult not to take this revelation a little personally. Not to mention his superiors had specifically instructed him to use this shore leave to actually relax and enjoy himself after his continuous dedication to the Empire and his duties without fail or complaint - and when he’d arrived with more luggage than usual, you interpreted that to mean that he was intending to stay the entire length of his trip this time with no intention of returning to work early as he typically did - however, that extra baggage was ultimately filled with rebel artifacts that he was fully preparing to study.

“I’m not disappointed, nor am I surprised,” you admitted through a sigh, moving to stand straight across from him with only the width of the helmet between you as you continued, “I don’t know why I was expecting this time to be different from any of the others. I know you. When you’re dedicated to pursuing something, there’s no stopping you or trying to change your mind.”

His lips parted as though he had something to say, but ultimately decided against it. He must have seen through your facade of trying to keep your expression firm as he gently spoke your name, and you silently cursed yourself for never being able to keep a straight face. You caught his hand when he moved to bring it to your cheek, only holding it firmly in mid air as you kept your head down while you asked him the question that had been plaguing your mind for years.

“Are you still pursuing me?”

You clutched his hand even tighter, your frown already shifting into a grimace as you stared straight down into the visor of the helmet. This talk wasn’t one you’d been particularly looking forward to having, especially since you more or less already had a preconceived notion of what his answer would be. Perhaps your relationship really had changed, and rather than voice it outright, Thrawn expected you to determine the status of it through context to avoid having an uncomfortable conversation. It certainly didn’t feel like the two of you were lovers anymore, and with this revelation that he had the time for intimacy if he desired it and was choosing his usual activities over being in your arms, there was little reason to believe otherwise.

The helmet was abruptly removed from your hands and placed elsewhere, with the hand that was holding yours moving to snake around your waist as you felt him pull you against his broad chest. It was a kind gesture, but what you really wanted was a definitive answer.

“Thrawn-”

“I’ve always been adept at coursing after my targets,” he began with an ounce of regret in his somber tone, “yet I find that the ones affecting my career operations tend to take precedence over the ventures in my personal life.”

You’d already known that much, and yet the sinking fear that came with the prospect of the inevitable “it’s not you, it’s me” parting discussion still began to overtake you. It felt like you were going through all the stages of grief all at once - denial, anger, bargaining, depression...but you weren’t ready to accept this just yet. You weren’t sure you ever would be. Anger was definitely occupying the forefront of your mind; anger at Thrawn, anger at the Empire, anger at yourself...you wouldn’t be enduring all of this if you’d never fallen for him in the first place. You just had to go and fall in love with a man that was emotionally and physically unavailable, didn’t you? You’d known at least some extent of what you’d be getting into when you agreed to be his significant other - that your rendezvous together would be short-lived and few and far between, with his work always taking priority over you, but this...knowing that given the choice, given the mandate, he was still choosing the rebels over you...

It hurt.

You were tensing up in his arms, doing all that you could to keep the tears from forming. If only to encourage the transparency you wanted to see from him, you began solemnly pouring your thoughts out against his chest, the release of the words you'd been keeping to yourself for so long aiding in your preemptive recovery somewhat.

"I've often thought about joining the rebellion just to reclaim some of your attention," you admitted, the statement sounding more pathetic to your ears than you'd anticipated, "I've never been an artist, but I like to imagine what it would be like if I made rebel propaganda for you to find. I've wondered if you'd even be able to figure out it was mine, and that with every stroke it was really just me trying to tell you..." ...that I love you.

You hadn’t realized you were crying until you felt yourself involuntarily choking on a sob, and before you could hide your face from him his hands were caressing either side of your jaw and pulling you up into a deep, tender kiss.

How long had it been? When was the last time you felt his touch like this, let alone a kiss? It almost didn't feel real, and you instinctively returned his vigor to make sure it wasn't all just a fantasy. Your tears were stinging against both of your faces now, and Thrawn drew back to wipe them away with the pads of his thumbs. His glowing red eyes were so melancholy, his brows threading into a line as you held his indigo hands to your face and leaned into them, as though the warmth of his skin was a rare sensation that you were savoring to remember back on when you'd be without it again.

"My love..." Thrawn began, his voice soothing as he brought his lips to the tender flesh of your ear, "if I've been so neglectful of your needs that you would become my enemy to be closer to me, then I've failed you so much more exponentially than I ever could have surmised. For that, I am so, so very sorry."

Part of you perked up at the implication that perhaps he wasn't intending to cut ties with you just yet, although it was clear he had much more to say. You brought his hands down to your chest and interlocked your fingers with his, holding onto them for dear life as he continued. "I...I have become consumed by my mission. My mind won't allow me any reprieve unless I've made substantial new discoveries and analyses concerning these rebels on a constant basis. I haven't faced any challenging opposition like them in quite some time, and to feel the invigoration of facing a worthy opponent with the potential to outmaneuver me...it's...addicting."

You listened to his confession intently, relieved to have him opening his heart to you once again. You brought his hands up to your mouth and smiled with amusement before you placed a kiss against them and bore into his concerned gaze with a look of alleviation gracing your own features. “I think I’m beginning to understand where your superiors were coming from when they demanded you take this leave.”

Thrawn’s countenance softened as he returned your smile, even managing something of a titter while he brought your own hands to his lips. “Am I that insufferable?”

“You already know the answer to that.”

He flashed his teeth in an impudent grin, moistening your skin with his lips as he resumed speaking against it. “Reassuring, as always.”

“Thrawn...” you spoke gingerly as the seriousness of the conversation recommenced and you withdrew your hands, rubbing the place where his warmth had just been while you gathered up the courage to proceed with your thoughts, “I need to know where we stand. It would have been stupid of me to expect our relationship to be like anyone else’s...I’ve been aware from the beginning that your duties come first, and I’m perfectly content with that. I want to see you succeed, and I love that you’re so persistent and driven. But...”

“I know,” he interjected, his guilty conscience evident simply by the tone of his voice, “my behavior as of late has been inexcusable. You mean so much more to me than I’ve led you to believe. It has been despicable of me to overlook your wishes in favor of my work when it is unnecessary. I...I love you, and...I’d like to make it up to you.”

Your heart breathed a sigh of relief, remedied by the fact that it still belonged to him. Before you knew it, you were back in his arms in an instant and planting another passionate kiss at the corner of his mouth while you grasped at his light civilian clothing. “Do you mean it?” you asked before he could properly perform the action in return.

“Of course. There are few things I wouldn’t do for you.”

For you, that was about as good as anyone else saying that they would do anything. Some things were off the table, such as leaving the Empire or betraying the Chiss or halting his investigation of the mysterious alien race that posed a threat to the entire galaxy - but other than that, he was yours, and that was more than enough.

“I might already have a few ideas...” you admitted pleasantly, capturing his lips in a more heated kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His smile granted you more access to the rest of his mouth and you obliged, nipping at his skin and warring with his tongue as both of your actions became more lascivious. It wasn’t long before you felt his warm, strong hands snaking up your bare abdomen while you fumbled with the clasps of his shirt, though it become more difficult to concentrate once he reached your chest and focused his activity there, drawing a moan from deep within your throat. Taking note of your struggle, he briefly took his hands away from you to discard his top and aid you in removing your own.

“I’m intrigued by these ideas, if you wouldn’t mind enlightening me,” Thrawn said as he reached both arms around you to grasp your behind and knead it through the fabric of your pants while he continued to kiss you along your temples and hairline. Your mouth was too busy peppering his pecs with kisses and love-bites to really say much, but that was alright - you were more of a demonstrator, anyway. You brought his hands to your sides and he helped you slide your bottoms down, giving your ass an excited smack once it was bare for him. He attempted to sneak a hand around the supple flesh of your inner thigh and curl a few digits upwards, but you smacked it away.

“Ah-Ah,” you tsked, guiding his arms away from you entirely. He started working at the sealing strip of his own waistband, but again, you stopped him. “No.”

“No?” he asked, a brow raised in amusement but also plenty of genuine confusion.

“No,” you reaffirmed as you stepped completely out of your pant legs and planted your palms onto his chest, pushing against him with enough force to influence him to step backward. The pressure was continuous, so he didn’t stop until his back hit the cool metal of the durasteel wall behind him. “You’ve kept me waiting for a long time, Admiral.”

“I...yes,” he uttered, slightly taken aback by the firmness and determination in your voice, and especially the mocking tone you used with his moniker, although he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t enjoy it.

In an impressive display of flexibility, you raised your leg up until your heel rested in the curve of Thrawn’s neck and over his shoulder, holding him in place as you stared him down with an air of dominion. “I’ve lost most of my patience,” you explained as you applied a significant amount of strength down through your foot and into his muscle, indicating once again that he was to move. He did so silently this time, enraptured by your confidence as he slid down until he was sitting on the hard ground. Your foot didn’t let up, adding more pressure as your tone became a little more demanding. “Down. All the way.”

He obliged, shifting downwards so he could lean back onto his forearms and lower himself completely onto the floor. Your foot remained on his shoulder, a smile contorting your face as you could see he was taking in the view and enjoying it, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. His eyes eventually met yours, giving you an innocent and questioning look as he spoke.

“Would you like to take this outside of the office? To the bedroom, perhaps?”

“Here’s fine,” you retorted smugly, and for a moment your attention was captured again by the painted rebel helmet that was perched atop the desk beside you. You took it, examining the artwork on the front one more time before you smirked at the curious Chiss beneath you and donned it upon your head. His breath hitched when you suddenly dropped to your knees over his chest and slid your hand around to the apex of his skull, lightly grabbing a fistful of previously perfectly slicked-back hair before gazing straight down into his crimson orbs.

“Are you still curious?” you asked with an inflection of authority.

He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the motion before he spoke lowly, just above a whisper. “I believe I understand.”

“Good,” you began, positioning yourself directly over his face as you pulled his head forward so that the tip of his nose was only centimeters away from the source of your pulsing heat, “...you kriffing Imp.”

With that, you saddled his face and sighed when you felt the hot wetness of his mouth envelop you, the room quickly filling with the sounds of the obscene slurps and smacks of his ministrations on your flesh. Your other hand grasped another lock of his hair as you bucked against him, his tongue finding all your most sensitive spots as it darted over them, and all the while you carefully supported his neck while he fucked you religiously with his face. You looked down at the master tactician through half-lidded eyes before throwing your head back in ecstasy, feeling the creep of your climax edging closer and closer. You were having a difficult time catching your breath, and eventually you decided that this sensation ought to be somewhat mutual.

You reached your hand back behind you and starting palming Thrawn’s erection through the fabric of his pants, earning an approving sigh between your legs as you stimulated the head through the still-expanding wet stain of his precum. You jerked him as well as you could in tandem with his movements, struggling to suppress the moans and expletives that erupted from your lips as he went at you even harder. His hands gripped your hips with a cautious desperation as both of your breaths became increasingly ragged, and it wasn’t long before your thighs were quivering against his ears as your orgasm crashed over you in waves of absolute pleasure. Your gasps of euphoria coupled with the intensified friction of your touch had Thrawn stilling and slightly jerking his hips not long after, finally leaning his head back away from your entrance as his face flushed while he came in his pants.

The both of you relaxed as you were overtaken by the surge of your highs, and after a while you managed to shift downward so that you were straddling his waist as you removed the helmet and set it aside. You returned your attention to the handsome, feverish warrior panting beneath you and moved a stray strand of his mussed hair back into place. You leaned forward and kissed him gently on his swollen lips, not minding the taste of yourself as you rested on top of him and listened to the accelerated beating of his heart together with yours.

And when his arms wrapped around you while he planted a loving kiss on your forehead, you looked up at the ceiling and pondered just how much work he’d get done the next time he studied that helmet.

#thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #thrawn x reader #grand admiral thrawn x reader #thrawn smut #lemon #star wars rebels #star wars x reader #star wars smut

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newdougsblog · 3 years

Text

The Tragic Hero Full of Fear

Hello everyone! Before I get into this, I’d like to thank @jasontoddiefor for both the name and being the main enabler of this fun piece of writing. I also want to thank all my wonderful friends over on Discord for letting me bounce ideas off of them and helping me. You are all amazing!!

Ok, so let’s get into it!

The first six Star Wars movies (the Original and Prequel trilogies) are commonly referred to as “the Tragedy of Darth Vader.” But what makes these movies a tragedy? How is Anakin Skywalker himself, the main character of said tragedy, a tragic hero? In this meta/essay, I will discuss how Anakin himself is definitionally a tragic hero and outline his story as it relates to the structure of a classic Greek tragedy.

This essay will focus solely on Anakin’s character as he is canonically portrayed.

The Hero

Let’s go through the main traits of a tragic hero (as per early literature) and discuss them in the context of Anakin Skywalker.

Possesses immense courage and strength and is usually favored by the gods

Anakin’s courage is evident throughout his entire life, such as when he participates in the pod race in TPM or on the front lines during the Clone Wars.

While we cannot definitively ascribe Anakin’s abilities to any deity, we can associate them with the Force. The Force is able to somewhat influence the happenings of the universe in certain ways and takes the place of any sort of deity.

Whether Anakin is the “Chosen One” or not, his connection to the Force is stronger than that of any other Force-sensitive being, so he is consequently closer to it than most, if not all, other Force-sensitive beings.

Extreme loyalty to family and country

Anakin is consistent in his demonstrations of loyalty to those he has strong feelings for (whether those feelings be romantic or platonic).

His devotion to Padmé surpasses his loyalty to the Jedi, and he is always willing to go to great lengths to ensure their safety and well-being.

Anakin also exhibits a strong sense of devotion to his mother, Shmi. His devotion to her, and by extension her wellbeing, surpasses his duties as Jedi.

In ROTS, Anakin says, “I will not betray the Republic… my loyalties lie with the Chancellor and with the Senate… and with you” (you, in this case, referring to Padmé). In this quotation, Anakin’s loyalties are made quite clear. At this point, he is not faithful to the Jedi, but to his government, its leaders, and, of course, his wife.

Representative of society’s current values

During the Clone Wars, Anakin is known by the moniker, “the Hero with No Fear,” and is one of the Republic’s “poster boys.” He is charismatic, kind, seemingly fearless (obviously) and a strong fighter, thus representing the values that were important to the Republic at the time. The last characteristic is especially important because of the assurance it instills in times of war. As a representation of the Republic, Anakin’s prowess on the battlefield creates hope for its citizens that victory is possible.

Anakin also empathizes with the opinion that the seemingly outdated Jedi Code holds them back. In the Citadel Arc, Tarkin remarks that “the Jedi Code prevents [the Jedi] from going far enough to achieve victory.” Anakin actually agrees with this statement, replying that “[he’s] also found that [the Jedi] sometimes fall short of victory because of [their] methods” (Season 3, Episode 19). He shows a sense of allegiance not to the ancient ways of the Jedi, but to the newer, more modern ideals regarding military action.

Anakin claims to have brought “peace, justice, freedom, and security” to his “new Empire.” While the Empire's interpretations of the aforementioned values are skewed, Anakin continues to represent them as Darth Vader.

Anakin’s statement to Obi-Wan also mirrors Palpatine’s declaration to the Senate: “In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the first Galactic Empire, for a safe and secure society which I assure you will last for ten thousand years.” The people applaud this statement, demonstrating a general sense of exhaustion in regards to the war and a yearning for what this new Empire is promising them.

Lead astray/challenged by strong feelings

Though there are many, many examples of Anakin’s emotions getting the better of him, we’re simply going to list two:

Anakin’s fury and anguish after the death of his mom leads to his slaughter of the Tuskens

Anakin’s overwhelming fear of losing Padmé is ultimately what leads to his Fall.

Every tragic hero possesses what is called a hamartia, or a fatal flaw. This trait largely contributes to the hero’s catastrophic downfall. Anakin’s hamartia is his need for control, which partially manifests through his fear of loss.

Let’s explore this idea in more detail.

Though Anakin grows up as a slave, the movies neglect to explicitly cover the trauma left from his time in slavery. However, it is worth noting that slaves did not have the ability to make many choices for themselves; they didn’t even own their bodies. After being freed, Anakin is whisked away to become a Jedi. He does not possess much control over his life as Jedi, for he is simply told what path he is going to take. While Anakin does make this decision on his own, becoming a Jedi is a disciplined and somewhat-strict way of life and not one that allows for an abundance of reckless autonomy as he is wont to engage in.

(Side note: I’m not here to argue about Qui-Gon’s decision-making abilities, nor do I wish to engage in discourse regarding the Jedi’s way of life. I am simply presenting and objectively stating these facts in relation to Anakin because they are pertinent to my point.)

During AOTC, Anakin is unable to save his mother from death. As Shmi dies in his arms, Anakin is absolutely helpless. The situation is completely out of his control, and he is forced to contend with the reality that despite all of his power, he cannot control everything that happens.

He also feels that he has a larger potential for power and is being held back by Obi-Wan: “although I'm a Padawan learner, in some ways... a lot of ways... I'm ahead of him. I'm ready for the trials. I know I am! He knows it too. He believes I'm too unpredictable… I know I started my training late... but he won't let me move on.” Anakin believes Obi-Wan, his teacher and mentor, is holding him back. He expresses a self-held conviction of his status and skills and does not trust the word of his superior.

In ROTS, Anakin starts dreaming of Padmé’s death. Considering what occurred the last time he dreamt of a loved one’s demise, Anakin is justifiably (or at least justifiably from his point of view) worried. He consequently wants to stop these dreams from coming true in any way possible. His fear of death, especially that of his loved ones, represents his need for control over everything, even things that are uncontrollable. This overwhelming desire leads to Anakin’s drastic actions.

As Darth Vader, he no longer possesses such fears, for everyone that he loved is either dead or has betrayed him. He is the epitome of order and control, eliminating any who disturb this perceived equilibrium.

However, this changes because of one person: Luke Skywalker.

Luke reintroduces something that was (arguably) long-absent in Vader’s life, which is interpersonal attachment. Vader yearns for his son to join him by his side. When Luke refuses, Vader continues to attempt to seek him out. In ROTJ, Vader is forced to choose between the Emperor, a man he has long trusted and followed, and Luke, the son he never knew he had. Out of a desire to protect and keep what little family he has left (and likely a sense of “I couldn’t save Padmé but at least I can save her legacy by keeping her child(ren) alive and safe”), Vader defeats the Emperor and saves his son. Though his actions are definitionally heroic, Anakin never truly overcomes his hamartia.

The Structure of a Tragedy

Classic Greek tragedies follow a specific story structure, which, according to the German playwright Gustav Freytag, is as follows:

We’re going to focus on the three aspects that best represent Anakin’s story as a tragedy: The peripeteia, the anagnorisis, and the catastrophe/denouement. These occur during and/or after the climax.

The peripeteia is the climax/the turning point in the plot. Said change usually involves the protagonist's good luck and prosperity taking a turn for the worse.

Within the tragedy we are discussing, the peripeteia occurs when Anakin chooses Sidious over Mace Windu and solidifies his allegiance to the Dark side, becoming the very thing he swore to destroy. It is at this point that things really start to go downhill. He kills children, chokes his wife, fights his best friend, gets his remaining limbs cut off, etc.

The anagnorisis is the point in the tragedy when the protagonist recognizes their error, seeing the true nature of that which they were previously ignorant of, usually regarding their circumstances or a specific relationship (such as Oedipus’ realization that his wife was actually his mother). In most tragedies, the anagnorisis is in close proximity to the peripeteia. In Anakin’s story, the anagnorisis occurs during ROTJ. After being wounded in his fight against Luke, Vader watches as his son is brutally electrocuted by Sidious. It is at this moment that Darth Vader realizes that Luke was right—there is good in him, and he still has the chance to redeem himself.

The catastrophe/denouement (since this is a tragedy, we’re going to go with “catastrophe”) is the end of the tragedy. Events and conflicts are resolved and brought to a close, and a new sort of “normality” is established. The catastrophe often provides a sense of catharsis (release of tension) for the viewer. The protagonist is worse off than they were at the beginning of the tragedy.

The catastrophe within “The Tragedy of Darth Vader” transpires soon after the anagnorisis at the end of ROTJ. Though the realization of his capacity for good is the anagnorisis, the follow-through (via his actions), as well as what consequently occurs, is the catastrophe. As previously discussed, Vader saves Luke by killing the Emperor but does so at the cost of his own life. This serves as the resolution of the tragedy, for the hero’s fate has been confirmed—Darth Vader fulfills his destined role as the Chosen One and, in doing so, brings about his own redemption and dies as Anakin Skywalker.

In conclusion, the categorization of Star Wars as a tragedy is a choice that heavily influences Anakin, the protagonist and hero, of the story. He is without a doubt a tragic hero whose fatal flaw leads to his downfall. In accordance with Aristotle’s theory of tragedy, Anakin’s tragedy is constructed not by personal agency, but by the narrative itself.

Works Cited

“Darth Vader.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 15 Mar. 2021, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Vader.

“Dramatic Structure.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 20 Feb. 2021, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dramatic_structure.

“Hero.” Encyclopaedia Britannica, Encyclopaedia Britannica, Inc., 19 Oct. 2016, www.britannica.com/art/hero-literary-and-cultural-figure.

Lucas, George, director. Star Wars: Episode III— Revenge of the Sith. Lucasfilm Ltd., 2005.

Lucas, George, director. Star Wars: Episode II— Attack of the Clones. Lucasfilm Ltd. , 2002.

Michnovetz, Matt. “Star Wars: The Clone Wars, ‘Counterattack.’” Season 3, episode 19, 4 Mar. 2011.

“Sophocles: the Purest Artist.” Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc., www.britannica.com/art/tragedy-literature/Sophocles-the-purest-artist.

“Theory of Tragedy.” Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc., www.britannica.com/art/tragedy-literature/Theory-of-tragedy.

“Tragic Hero.” Dictionary.com, Dictionary.com, www.dictionary.com/browse/tragic-hero.

#star wars #Anakin Skywalker #greek tragedy #anakin the tragic hero #meta #so many meta ideas not enough time #wow thanks tumblr formatting for being terrible

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firstofficerwiggles · 3 years

Text

Dress Code, Part 2

Link to Part 1, Part 3 (T rated), Part 3 (M rated)

Pairing: Din Djarin x female reader

Rating: T

Warnings: Some swearing, Jealous!Din, sexy dancing, touching

Summary: You continue to challenge Din about what you choose to wear. Pretty fluffy overall. Plans for a Part 3.

Word Count: ~4200

Author’s Note: I am not good at making up planet names so I will admit to totally stealing these. Eridani is the name of a real star and Alastria and Chantil are both from Star Trek. Also again a little hint of Ed Sheeran in the dancing scene.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you serious? More snow?” Your voice is incredulous as you fly over the frosted winter landscape of the planet Alastria. It’s been two weeks since you won your wager against the Mandalorian and you haven’t had any opportunity to wear anything that he could consider even remotely revealing. First he took you to Hoth, and although you and the child had a great time playing in the snow, you spent the whole time covered in sweaters and a giant parka. You had laughed it off though, enjoying his cleverness at finding a way to circumvent your win. But then, he had dragged you to Eridani and Chantil each one colder than the next. Plus to add to his diabolical plan, he has purposely been keeping the Razor Crest’s internal temperature low in order to ‘save on fuel’ so you can’t even wear your lighter clothes on board. You’ve been so covered up you might as well be wearing your own suit of beskar.

You suppose it hasn’t been all that bad though, you begrudgingly admit to yourself. The three of you have been spending more time together as you’ve been traveling. Lately it seems like Din always finds a way to be around you and the child. In the past he’s preferred his pilot’s seat while flying even with the autopilot engaged, but now he seems to find little projects to do wherever you are. Like the evening you were cuddled up with the baby telling him various fairy tales and Din had sat near you both spending the whole time cleaning the same blaster. Or when you were baking cookies, and he had decided to reorganize some supplies that happened to be right next to where you were working. Finally, the other day he had even thrown off the pretense of being busy and joined in and helped you and the child build a blanket fort in the hull. As the baby napped on a pile of pillows inside the fort, Din had stayed with you in there, just resting for once while you both had the chance.

With all of this closeness, you had hoped there might be some movement on the romantic front between the two of you, but there hasn’t been anything definitive in that area. You must have replayed him calling you ‘sweetheart’ a million times in your head, but he hasn’t said anything like that again. You’ve tried to show him how interested you are, wearing your necklace everyday so he can see it, smiling at him as much as possible, teasing him, and going so far as to touch him with little brushes of your hand, a pat on the shoulder, or even a squeeze of his arm whenever you get the opportunity. He seems receptive enough to your flirting, yet he’s given you so little response you wonder if he’s realized what you’re trying to do.

The Mandalorian’s voice brings you out of your musing, “I thought we could visit my old mentor, Davi. His town might be in the mountains, but it’s nice, I think you’ll like it, despite the cold.” He smirks a little under his helmet. He knows he should probably feel a bit guilty at the tour of icy worlds he’s been giving you, but honestly, he’s been enjoying getting under your skin each time you land on another freezing planet and he hears you sigh over having to bundle up again. He should probably admit to himself that he does miss seeing your dresses, but you look cute even under all those layers. Plus he was right, your necklace looks good with all of those sweaters and heavy knits you’ve been forced to wear.

“Who is Davi?” you ask, curious to know more about Din’s past.

“He sponsored me when I first joined the guild. I was his apprentice for two years before I starting hunting my own bounties.” Din tells you. “He’s retired now, and he lives with his niece, Isa. I think you’ll like them both.”

Even with the snow and ice, you can see that Davi and Isa’s town is charming, and you enjoy the quaint buildings with their pretty trim. It reminds you of the gingerbread houses you used to make as a child in the winter. The majestic mountains make for a stunning backdrop too and you are glad that Din brought you here. He notices the happy light in your eyes as he says, “I knew you’d like it here,” rather smugly.

“Yes, yes, you know everything,” you reply, rolling your eyes only slightly at him.

You arrive at a brightly lit home that oozes warmth and coziness from its frosty windows, and when Davi throws open the door, you receive a cordial welcome that makes you feel like he is your old friend too. Davi is thrilled to see Din and even more delighted to meet you and the baby. Even though Din has introduced you as his friend, Davi teases the Mandalorian about finally meeting his lovely family. Davi’s niece, Isa is also quite pleased to meet you and she even hugs you in greeting. She’s a pretty young woman in her early 20s with bright eyes and a cheerful smile.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” she tells you excitedly, “I thought I was in for another ‘guy’s visit’ having to hear all of their old hunting tales again.”

“Oh come on, Isa, you love that story about the crazy Gungan we had to chase through the swamp,” Davi reminds her with a laugh.

“Sure, maybe the first 100 times I heard it,” Isa retorts. “I’m looking forward to some quality girl time instead.”

“That sounds great,” you tell her. You have been living in a heavily testosterone-laden climate and it has been forever since you’ve had the opportunity to hang out with another woman and just do ‘girl’ things. “What did you have in mind?”

“I’d love to go shopping and maybe get our hair styled too?” She suggests, “There’s this great party tonight and I wanna look fabulous!”

“Count me in!” you reply enthusiastically. You look over at Din for a moment though, hoping he’s not going to insist that he needs to accompany you shopping like he usually does. But he’s obviously comfortable here and he just gives you a small nod. “Let’s go now.”

Isa notices your exchange with interest, but doesn’t say anything, yet. She can’t wait to get you alone though and grill you all about your relationship with the mysterious warrior. You head back out into the snowy streets with Isa chatting excitedly about the shops and the fantastic salon that she’ll be taking you to. You arrive at a store with many party dresses, they’re beautiful but most of them are a bit risqué too. You’re just starting to look when Isa interrupts you with “Ok, spill, I want to hear all about you and Mando.”

“There’s not much to tell, I’m the nanny to his foundling.” You try to tell her, but your cheeks flush and she knows there’s more.

“Oh c’mon, I can tell you’re not ‘just-the-nanny’,” she laughs lightly. “He’s never ever brought a woman to meet Davi before.”

“Well, a few weeks ago I thought there was more starting to happen between the two of us,” you say and then tell her about the necklace and your silly wager. “I really thought that was leading to something…” you trail off and shrug, “but I guess not?”

“What?!? There is definitely something happening,” Isa asserts. “That was super romantic of him to buy you that necklace, and he clearly gets jealous of other men paying attention to you. He likes you.” She says it like it’s a fact. “You like him, don’t you?”

“Maker, I do, so much, probably too much,” you admit to Isa. “He’s the best man I’ve ever known. I know he seems rough and dangerous, and he can be, but he is also very kind, respectful, and considerate. You should see how gentle and soft he can be with the child. I don’t even care that I’ve never seen his face.”

“Your whole face lights up when you talk about him,” Isa is beaming at you. “I think you need to tell him how much you care.”

“But if he doesn’t feel the same way, it will just make everything awkward and weird.” You want to believe Isa, that Mando reciprocates your feelings, but the alternative scares you too much.

“He feels the same way.” She is confident about that. “But, maybe you could just give him a little push, feel him out more,” she says, raising an eyebrow at you.

“What are you suggesting?”

“Let’s find you a killer dress and make sure he takes you to this party tonight.” Isa turns back to the dresses pulling out several that are very sexy. “It’s in the hot springs caverns and it’s warm and steamy in there all the time,” Isa explains.

“Wait, so no bundling up?” you ask hopefully.

“Just for the walk there, but once we’re inside you’ll be plenty warm. So, we’re going find you something that shows plenty of skin,” Isa declares.

Gathering a pile of garments, Isa pulls you to the dressing rooms and then you both try on several looks that range from seductive to downright lascivious. She is partial to an electric blue dress that is tight on her figure and has several cutouts exposing various sections of her skin. The dress you find is surprise, surprise, silver, in a halter style. The bodice is tight fitting with a deep vee that ends just at the top of your stomach before flaring out into a flirty mini skirt looking like molten metal is pouring off of your hips. Your back is almost totally bare save for two delicate straps that cross over one another to hold the bodice in place. It is a lot more skin than you normally show, but you have to admit you look great. Light winks off of your necklace and you smile to yourself thinking about how your Mandalorian might react to seeing you like this.

“That’s the one!” Isa announces handing you a pair of strappy stilettos to try on with the dress. They are the perfect final touch. The rest of your time with Isa passes quickly in a happy haze of hair styling and gossip. She tells you about her friends and the guy she wants to impress. You’re really looking forward to tonight, but you’re worried, “How are we going to convince Mando to go to this party?” you wonder to Isa, “It’s not really his thing.”

“Leave everything to me.” Isa sounds like she is up for the challenge.

You and Isa return to her home giggling cheerfully about your big plans for the evening. Din loves seeing you so happy, his only regret is that you can’t have more days like this one. He had a long talk with Davi about all that has happened since he first found the child and the dangerous path it has thrust all three of you on. Fortunately for Din, his old mentor is more tactful than his niece merely providing a friendly ear as Din lists all of his concerns for your life with him. Davi can tell that Din cares for you more than he is admitting, but he doesn’t push the point. Instead, he calmly suggests that you appear to be able to meet the trials of living with a bounty hunter, otherwise you probably would have left by now. Din nodded in agreement to that, making Davi smile knowingly to himself.

As you sit down to dinner with everyone, Isa chats animatedly about your fun day together and suggests that you prolong your visit by a few days. Din, who ate his own meal in private beforehand, seems amenable to the idea, this town is fairly remote and only Greef Karga remembers Mando’s connection to Davi. As Isa talks, she manages to casually bring up the party to her uncle. Din is only half-listening as he is focused on the baby actually eating his food and not playing with it, until Isa says, “And you don’t have to worry about our safety, Uncle, because Mando will be there to watch over us!”

“Wait, what are you saying?” Din’s head snaps up.

“I think it’s a great idea!” Davi replies, delighted, “The ladies are all excited for you to take them to that party in the caverns tonight.”

“A party?” Din sounds like you are going to drag him to a deadly ambush. Except he feels more confident that he can handle the deadly ambush.

“Oh come on, you’re still a young man, you’ll have a wonderful time with these beautiful women. And I can take care of the little one,” Davi urges him, “after all he loves his Uncle Davi.” Davi tickles the child under the chin and receives a joyful coo in return.

“Please, Mando,” you give him your most hopeful look, “I promise we’ll have fun.”

Din sighs, but he knows he can’t say no when you’re looking at him like that, he’s not made of stone. “Alright.”

“Great! We’ll go get dressed!” Isa springs into action pulling you with her. You both manage to get ready in record time knowing that you don’t want to give Din any opportunity to back out on your plans. Before you leave her room though, both you and Isa make sure your cloaks are completely covering your outfits for the night. You caution Isa that if Din has even one inkling of what you have on, you won’t be going anywhere. You are thankful your cloak is so long that only the toes of your shoes peek out.

Isa leads you out of town towards the caverns and you see other young people heading in your direction. She discreetly stays ahead of you and Din the whole time under the guise of being the leader but mostly so you two are walking side by side. The new shoes are higher than anything you’ve worn for a while so you lean in and take Din’s arm. He seems to take this as perfectly natural and helps steady you on your feet. When you arrive at the caverns, balmy air hits you and you breathe it in welcoming the warmth. Isa ushers you in and leads you to a place where you can leave your cloaks. You can’t resist being a bit dramatic now that your big moment is here and you let your cloak drop from your shoulders in one fluid motion before handing it over. Then you do a small twirl to let the Mandalorian get a good look at you.

Din’s mouth goes completely dry and he feels like his heart skips several beats as he takes you in. He is thankful that his helmet hides his expression because there is no way he could hide the raw desire he is feeling right now. You look more gorgeous than he could have imagined. The silvery dress makes your curves sparkle alluringly and all he can think about is running his hands all over the silky looking material and then moving on to all of your soft exposed skin. Plus the color of the dress perfectly matches his armor, making it look like you belong with him. He feels as if all of the blood in his body is rushing to one sensitive spot and it’s making him slightly lightheaded. You are smiling at him expectantly, but he has forgotten how to speak. He has to clear his throat twice before he can ground out, “What is that?”

Ok, that wasn’t what you expected him to say. “It’s my new dress,” you retort, a little exasperated.

“That is not a dress. That is pieces of fabric pretending to be a dress.” He sounds frustrated and like he is trying to control himself.

“Hey, you remember our deal, you can’t say anything critical about my clothing.” You give him a pointed look.

“You look like walking sex.” He hisses at you.

“Well, I am going to take that as a compliment.” You flip your hair over your shoulder and huff off in the direction of Isa and a group of friends she has found. If Mando wants to be a fuddy-duddy all night, you’re going to let him. Isa is fun and you’re sure her friends will be too. You put your smile back on and square your shoulders in determination as you stride over towards them.

The caverns have been lit with several colorful lights which bounce off of the icy walls and the pools of hot steaming water. There’s a band playing music with a strong beat, a lively dance floor, and several servers circulating with fancy drinks. Isa cheerfully introduces you to her friends, one of whom is a handsome man with golden brown hair and a charming smile, named Guy. He seems to be a bit of a scoundrel, but when he voices how beautiful you are, you can’t help but be flattered. He’s telling you about his job as a pilot for a transport ship, trying to impress you with tales about near misses with ex-Imperials, when he notices the Mandalorian who is not-so-subtly invading your personal space.

Din had watched you walk away, a bit mesmerized by your swinging hips. Of course, by the time he gets his feet moving in your direction, some asshole is already flirting with you. He sees the man flash you a toothy smile and he even has the audacity to lean in and pick up your necklace, Din’s necklace, under the guise of admiring it, all the while staring blatantly at your breasts. Din hears his pulse roaring in his ears as he comes to loom over you and glare at this jerk.

“Hi, Mando,” you say a little sarcasm in your voice at the greeting, “meet Isa’s friend, Guy.”

“Guy?” Mando drawls out incredulously.

“Hey man, nice to meet you,” Guy is affable. “Didn’t catch your name?”

Mando just stares at him and then says, “Seriously, your name is Guy?”

“Guy was just telling me about making the Kuiper run in under 20 parsecs,” you break into the frosty exchange.

“Impossible,” is all Mando says drily.

“No, really,” Guy insists, “I managed to do it by skimming by a black hole.”

“It’s impossible,” Mando says again.

“Maybe you and Guy can trade piloting tips?” you say, adding a small chuckle to ease the tension.

“Not fucking interested.” Mando is being downright rude to him. You’ve never known him to act this way to someone who wasn’t a threat. Luckily, Isa comes to your rescue as she brings her friend Lisbeth over to meet Mando. He seems to come back to himself a bit and is polite as he greets Isa’s friend.

“Are you two together?” Guy questions you nodding his head in Din’s direction.

“Not like that,” you reply, “we’re just friends.” But you say it as if you don’t really believe it.

“You sure?” Guy smiles shrewdly at you.

“Well, he’s never said otherwise,” you conclude with a small shrug.

“In that case, how would you like to dance with me?” Guy holds out his hand to you and gives you a wink. You can’t help but glance back at Mando for a moment, but then turn your gaze back to Guy and say yes. You don’t imagine that Din will ask you to dance anyway as he seems determined to be a grump tonight, plus you’re pretty certain he doesn’t know how to dance.

Guy leads you to the crowded floor and you begin moving to the beat of the heart-pumping music. At first you’re just dancing next to Guy but then he starts closing the distance between you two and eventually puts his hands on your hips. He pulls you in a little closer to him but then suddenly he’s gone, being shoved away roughly by a beskar-clad arm.

“If you’re going to dance, you’re going to dance with me.” Mando tells you possessively. His hands replacing Guy’s on your hips, pulling you in close to him.

“Mando!” you squeak out in surprise at his abrupt appearance. “Is he ok?” You turn your head to look for Guy, embarrassed that Din has so rudely dismissed him.

“I don’t give a damn,” Din tells you as he reaches up and turns your chin so that you are looking back at him. Ironically, the lead singer of the band is belting out a warning to a woman not to fuck with his love. You face flushes as you look into the black visor of the helmet.

“I- I didn’t think you’d want to dance,” you stammer out, stunned by his actions.

“You didn’t give me a chance to ask you,” he replies and he begins to direct your hips to sway with his to the music. You move with him in a sultry pattern. You were wrong, Din does know how to dance. You move your arms up to encircle his neck as you let yourself relax into the movements, your bodies syncing together with the beat.

As the music changes a bit, he turns you in his arms and pulls you against him until you are flush with his body. You lean into his chest feeling the cool metal of his cuirass against your bare back and he dips his head down to your ear, and says “I like dancing with you.” His voice seems huskier than normal.

“I do too,” you tell him in reply. You’re feeling bolder now and you roll your hips over his and brush against something hard that is definitely not beskar. He groans deeply and then turns you around again so he can look in your eyes as he asks, “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

“I think I have some idea,” you say flirtatiously and give him a wink. He pulls you back into him with a growl and guides your body into a move so sensual it makes your head spin. His hands are on your bare back now and even though it’s only the leather of his gloves that touch you, the heat coming off of them is undeniable. You can’t resist telling him, “Your hands feel good on me.” He doesn’t say anything in reply but merely tightens his grip on you and then lets his hands explore more of your back.

You lose track of time as you focus only on the Mandalorian and the way you move together. You’ve both become quieter the more you dance as if you no longer can handle verbally teasing each other and just want to feel. Each song blends into the next, and it’s like you are the only two people in the room. A sonic charge could go off and you wouldn’t even notice. When the lights flicker to signal the end of the party, you’re surprised. It takes you a moment to come back to reality, you feel like you’ve just awoken from the middle of an intoxicating dream and your head is a little dizzy. Fortunately, Din seems more in control, and he guides you towards Isa and the exit. Isa! You completely forgot about her. When you reach her, she gives you a sneaky smile and hands you your cloak. As you take it from her, she leans in and whispers, “I told you so.” Din takes the cloak from your hands and places it around your shoulders covering you back up against the cold. Then he takes your hand in his and threads his fingers through yours as he leads you back out into the dark night. All three of you are quiet as you walk back to Isa’s home. When you arrive, Din tells Isa, “We won’t come in, we’ll just let the child sleep here and come back in the morning.”

“Not too early,” Isa says rather cheekily, “I’m sure you’ll need your rest.”

As you head back to the ship with Din, your stomach flips at the idea of being alone with him all night. You shiver a little in anticipation.

“Are you cold?” he asks, noticing the shiver.

“Only a little,” you tell him, not wanting to give away the real reason.

“Maybe you should be wearing more clothing,” Din says, but there is a teasing tone to his voice now.

You reach the ship and head inside. It’s a little chilly in there but not as bad as you thought it might be. You whisk your cloak off of you again, headless of the cold, wanting Din to see you in the dress again.

“I’ll make you a new deal,” he says, his helmet moving up and down as if he is looking you over. “I’ll take you to some warmer planets and I won’t complain about your clothing, but only if you promise to never wear that dress in public again.”

The dress has served its purpose, better than you could have anticipated. “Alright, it’s a deal,” you tell him with a smile.

“Although,” Din drawls out, “if you want to wear it again when we’re alone together, I’d like that.”

--------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! I promise there will be a Part 3 (if I can, I’ll do one T rated and one M rated). Please let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list.

@sleepwithacommunist @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11 @rueblogsthings @mackycat11 @tv-zepeda @remmyswritings @dee-rosemary @boomtownboy @mandosboobiez @hoodjarin @haley7242

#the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x female reader #din djarin x female reader #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfiction

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ikeromantic · 3 years

Photo

Future-Speak

A Mitsuhide Akechi fanfic, approx. 2500 words of pure fluffiliciousness.

First: Mitsuhide and the Maiden

Previous: An Uncertain Alliance

The inn was on the outskirts of Kyoto. It wasn’t as comfortable as the room they’d left behind, but Mitsuhide would not introduce dangerous allies to one of his safe havens. Besides, they needed a larger room to assemble supplies and hold meetings. This place fit the bill.

He spent several days writing and responding to missives. Notifying his Kyoto weapons’ dealers of his needs, and keeping in touch with Kyubei on the hunt for Ashikaga. But most of the planning was waiting. Waiting to see if the remaining allies he called would come. Nevermind what he would do if they did.

Mitsuhide only hoped he could keep his emotions under control no matter the threat. They couldn’t risk another repeat of his first meeting with Motonari. Not only had it shaken him to react so emotionally, it had shaken his little mouse.

Though she was quiet about it, her introspection and anxiety was hard to miss. Mitsuhide took every moment he could to comfort her but the effects were only temporary. She was on edge, and would be until this business was finished.

Mitsuhide was about to go out to meet with another agent when the innkeeper arrived.

“There is a man here to see you,” the innkeeper told him. He kept his gaze on the ground as if afraid to really look at Mitsuhide.

“What does he look like?”

The innkeeper took a moment to consider. This wasn’t to remember the appearance, but to weigh the pros and cons of accuracy. “Ah, he isn’t quite as tall as you, my lord. And he has dark brown hair. Brown eyes. And . . . he wears a thing on his face. Over his eyes.”

“A mask?”

“N-no . . .”

Mitsuhide didn’t recognize the description at all. It could be some new disguise for one of his agents. Or an assassin sent by Ashikaga. Or anyone else entirely. He loosened his sword in its saya. “I do not know this visitor.”

The innkeeper bowed again. “Nevertheless . . .”

“Yes, let him up.”

The chatelaine stood from her work - sewing a more mobile kimono for herself - and backed up.

As the innkeeper scurried out to fetch this ‘guest’ Mitsuhide positioned himself beside the door. He motioned to his little one. “Be ready to greet this man when he arrives. If he looks dangerous, I will kill him before he even knows I am here.”

She winced at his blunt instruction but nodded. “Only if he looks immediately dangerous ok? Dangerous describes like . . . half my friends in this time.”

Mitsuhide snorted. “It isn’t anyone from Azuchi.”

“Still. Let’s not murder some innocent messenger, ok?”

He wanted to tell her innocence was a commodity more rare than saffron, but she already looked worried enough.

There was a shuffling outside, the sound of footsteps and then the door slid open.

“I’m sorry to call on you so early in the morning -” he began. But he didn’t get very far.

The chatelaine flung herself across the space between them to wrap him in a warm hug. “Sasuke!”

Mitsuhide felt a twinge of jealousy at the way she smiled up at this stranger, her expression one of delight. Still, it didn’t seem that this visitor was an immediate threat. He let go of his sword hilt with only a little reluctance.

“Good to see you too,” the stranger - Sasuke - grinned down at her. “I really am sorry to just show up like this. I tracked your location because I have something important to tell you.” He pushed the chatelaine back, holding her by the shoulder. “Do you know what day it is?”

Her expression fell.

Mitsuhide stepped forward, tugging her away from the stranger. “Do you know this man?”

Sasuke held out his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mitsuhide Akechi.” His flat expression and tone did nothing to reassure the warlord.

“And it seems he knows me.” This made Mitsuhide very uncomfortable. He was the man who knew things, not the one who was known. Perhaps he’d let go of his hilt too soon.

“I’ve been reading about you since I was little. It’s an honor to finally be able to speak to you in person.” Sasuke bowed. “My name is Sasuke Sarutobi and I’m a - a friend from her home town.” He gestured toward the chatelaine.

Mitsuhide felt one eyebrow rise. “Her hometown, you say?” He took a step toward this - this Sasuke and a note of challenge entered his voice. “Then you are also from 500 years in the future?”

“Galileo’s glass! How did you guess that?” Sasuke’s expression remained flat, but his voice rose with surprise.

The chatelaine blushed. “I told him, actually.”

Sasuke looked between the two of them and his eyes widened. “You two . . . are in love?”

Mitsuhide grimaced. “I wasn’t aware there was a second time-traveler here.” It made him wonder what other tidbits his little one might have kept back. And what delicious techniques he could use to get her to confess everything she knew. Like what a Galileo was.

The chatelaine stepped around him to face Sasuke directly. “Thank you for coming all the way here to remind me. But . . . I decided not to go back. I’m going to stay here in this time.”

Sasuke stared at her as if he didn’t understand.

Mitsuhide felt a knot of tension in his chest release. It was a worry he hadn’t realized he was carrying. But hearing her say this, aloud, and to a man from her time - it felt good. He found her gaze with his own and smiled.

“I’m staying here for Mitsuhide. And for the other friends I’ve made.” The chatelaine returned his smile with a warm one of her own.

Sasuke’s eyes finally narrowed again, crinkling a little at the edges as he shared their grin. “It seems we find ourselves in a similar situation then. I came here in part to tell you that I didn’t plan on returning.”

“You fell in love too?” The chatelaine’s whole expression lit up with joy at the idea of this stranger falling for someone in this time. It reassured Mitsuhide to see it, for surely, if they had been lovers, she wouldn’t be so pleased about that.

The stranger chuckled. “Not exactly. It’s just been a busy four years and I’ve gained a mountain’s worth of people too important to me to leave behind.” He paused and adjusted the contraption on his face. “Not that I would leave at this juncture anyhow. There is still the matter of Yoshimoto to settle, for one.”

“My apologies for interrupting you - Sasuke - but I cannot stay quiet after hearing that name.” Mitsuhide felt another stir of jealous venom. Yoshimoto. He still remembered the way the fallen lord of the Imagawa has looked as his little one that night at Honnoji. He knew too well what that spark meant in another man’s gaze, but the chatelaine was his.

Mitsuhide slid an arm around her shoulder before continuing. “It would appear that you are more than a childhood friend. Who are you, Sasuke Sarutobi? And who do you work for?”

“Sasuke is, um, ah -” The chatelaine stumbled over an explanation before the stranger interrupted.

“It’s alright. Returning you to the future wasn’t my only reason on this visit.” Sasuke gave another slight bow. “I wanted to say thank you for what you did for Yoshimoto.” Then he turned to face Mitsuhide full on, not flinching a bit. “To answer your question, I am a ninja in service to my lord. Kenshin Uesugi.”

“Fascinating.” Mitsuhide tightened his grip on his little mouse. Yes. There were very many questions he had for her, and getting every answer was going to take at least one whole night. Perhaps several. Just to be sure.

Sasuke went on blithely. “Yoshimoto and his vassals were originally taking shelter with us at Echigo. When he disappeared, Yukimura Sanada and I were tasked to bring him back - which is how I wound up watching events unfold at Honno-ji. I witnessed how the two of you saved Yoshimoto and the remnant of his vassals.”

“I hope Motonari shared the popcorn,” the chatelaine muttered.

“What?” Sasuke looked confused. “There was no - ah, I see.” The two of them shared another grin. “After the battle, I relayed this information to Kasugayama. And let me say, it is with thanks from all of us that I present this token of our appreciation for your actions that night.” He presented a little box.

Mitsuhide stared at the item suspiciously. Too small to be an effective explosive. Large enough to contain any number of sharp, poisoned items. Or a serpent, angry at it’s imprisonment. Ready to strike whoever opened its cage.

Of course, his little one wasn’t nearly so wary. She reached for the present excitedly. “Oh, what is it Sasuke?”

“My very own homemade ground spike. Hand selected by me, for you.”

She opened the box as Mitsuhide stood ready to knock it away from her should it prove dangerous. But, it was exactly as Sasuke had said. Full of small caltrops, perfect to slow and wound a following enemy. That didn’t discount the possibility that they were poisoned.

Mitsuhide eased the box from her hands as she exclaimed over how sharp they looked. He set it on the table and put the lid back on. “Am I to understand, Sasuke, that you approached an enemy warlord with no weapon in hand, only gifts at the ready?”

Sasuke nodded. “Despite living the hashtag sengoku hustle, I maintain a work-life balance with emotionally fulfilling parasocial relationships.”

Mitsuhide took a moment to parse the babble. There were some actual words in it, but mostly, just gibberish. He looked to the chatelaine to see if she’d understood any of that.

She gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry for the future-speak. What Sasuke means is that even though he works for Echigo, he admires you as a person.”

Future-speak. So in her time, gibberish was spouted as a normal course of conversation. Yet another reason to question her . . . thoroughly. It reminded him uncomfortably of the space between them, even while exciting him at the idea of closing that distance. There were so many things about her that he had yet to explore. There’d been no time . . . not yet. But there would be, if he lived.

“Tee whiee,” Sasuke responded back with more of his impenetrable code language.

Mitsuhide frowned. “This insight into your time has made me lose all interest in the future.” Which wasn’t true, but he felt annoyed with this connection between his little one and her friend. Not that he would ever admit it.

“Did you manage to catch up to Yoshimoto?” The chatelaine asked, moving the conversation back to shared topics.

“We did. But now Yoshimoto has decided to take full responsibility for his clan leaving Echigo.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

Sasuke nodded again. “He said he hoped his vassals would be welcome, but that he was not in need of a home.” The ninja gave an exasperated sigh. “We couldn’t convince him to come back with us, even though a lot of people are waiting for him in Echigo.”

The chatelaine made a worried sound, her eyes wide. “I want him to feel able to go back.”

“Even his vassals couldn’t convince him to return.” Sasuke looked to the side. “Yoshimoto may seem to have his head in the clouds, but he has a will of iron.”

Mitsuhide listened to the conversation intently. He could personally care less if the Imagawa clan head lived or died. But his little mouse cared and so - he put his mind to work, turning the problem inside and out. Pride was often a useful tool. Fatalism as well. “I have a suggestion,” he said when the two friends fell silent.

“Out of respect for you revealing yourself to me, Sasuke, I will reveal something to you. I am planning to kill Yoshiaki Ashikaga.”

Sasuke nodded thoughtfully. “I suspected that was the reason the two of you stayed behind in Kyoto.”

“Mmm, well, should I fail here, I am certain Echigo would be Ashikaga’s next target. As this is assured, I think it may be wise to approach Yoshimoto with an offer of exchange.” Mitsuhide’s smile widened. “I’d like him to rejoin his allies in Echigo and bring the battle of dragon and tiger back to the Oda forces.”

The chatelaine and Sasuke both gasped at the same time.

Sasuke shook his head. “Could this be Akechi’s infamous betrayal? With me as an accomplice? A second - no a third Honno-ji Incident?!”

“Calm down,” the chatelaine told him, though she didn’t look calm herself. “I don’t think Mitsuhide means a real war. At least, I hope he doesn’t.”

Mitsuhide gave his little mouse an approving look. “Correct. It will only appear that hostilities have resumed, when in fact, a temporary alliance will have been formed.”

“How does this help,” Sasuke asked.

“The conflict will draw Ashikaga’s eyes away from me, and that will give me the opportunity to strike.”

“Yes, I see. With Echigo next on the shogun’s list, Yoshimoto’s return would be riding to the aid of his allies and assisting in Ashikaga’s defeat.” Sasuke’s brows twitched. “Thus giving him two powerful and still noble reasons to return. Brilliant.”

Mitsuhide was pleased that he need not spell it out completely. “If ever you chose to leave Echigo, Sasuke, do let me know.”

“That is unlikely, but thank you.” Sasuke’s lips turned up in a small smile. “I will take it as a mark of honor that the Mitsuhide Akechi tried to scout me.” He raised and lowered one fist in the air in some sort of bizarre salute or prayer.

“You know, I could write him a letter.” The chatelaine spoke up.

Sasuke agreed. “A letter from you would be perfect. He is always very receptive to your suggestions, and I think it would cheer him up.”

“A little too receptive,” Mitsuhide muttered. Then said more loudly. “I agree that will be effective. But -” the words pushed their way out even as he tried not to say them. “You’ve never written a letter to me.”

“Oh.” His little one blushed, making one of the faces he adored so much. Her lips were just slightly parted, eyes wide. Cheeks pink. She held a hand almost to her heart.

It made Mitsuhide want to pull her close and kiss her breathless. But they had a guest. The kiss would have to wait.

“I can write you a letter whenever you like,” she offered.

“Then you will write one for me first. Then. You can write Yoshimoto.”

Her smile was so wide it looked almost painful. “You really want me to write you a letter? Even though I’m right here?”

Mitsuhide did pull her close then, lips brushing against her ear. Her hair tickled his cheek. “I would. The joy of receiving a letter from you would only be enhanced by your presence.” And then, just to emphasize and not at all because he felt jealous, he kissed the edge of her ear lightly.

Sasuke gave an awkward cough. “I-Is it alright if I interrupt?”

“My apologies.” Mitsuhide straightened. He wasn’t sorry in the slightest.

“Nothing to apologize for. I just wanted to say, when the letter to Yoshimoto is finished, let me know and I’ll deliver it immediately.”

The chatelaine giggled. “It’s second on my to-do list, I promise!”

Sasuke gave her another of his small smiles. “I believe you. And I think that is my cue to be off. I’ve left my contact information with your innkeeper.”

“I hope next time you visit, we can have tea and chat.”

Sasuke’s gaze slid from the chatelaine to Mitsuhide and back. “That could be very interesting.”

“Very,” Mitsuhide agreed drily. Then saw the stranger - no, Sasuke now - out. What an odd turn of events this was. He returned to his little mouse with many things on his mind.

Next: Keeping Secrets

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen mitsuhide #Mitsuhide Akechi #otome guys #otome #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff

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hmslusitania · 3 years

Note

Ok now you have to share the ship where one is a ghost and your current fav one that ends well! We need the infoooo

Okay so if you’ve been around on my blog a while, you may know I have a cat named Starbuck

She

Starbuck is named after one of my favourite characters from my childhood/early teen years, Captain Kara “Starbuck” Thrace from Battlestar Galactica

Katee Sackhoff as Kara Thrace. Is this character the reason I am bisexual? Sources say “its a strong possibility but tbh the entire cast of BSG may be responsible”

Now [SPOILERS, for a show that ended in 2009] Starbuck was a fighter pilot in humanity’s search for earth and a new homeworld after the cylon attack wiped out the twelve colonies of Kobol and she had an on again, off again, never quite, almost once upon a time romance with Captain (later Major) Lee “Apollo” Adama, who was their CAG and also their commanding officer’s once-estranged son, an absolute dick like 70% of the time, and also Starbuck’s late fiancé’s older brother (and, unfortunately, I love him).

Their already unstable relationship was challenged when Starbuck followed a ghost ship into a space-maelstrom set to the best cover of All Along the Watchtower that’s been done (shout out to my man Bear McCreary who also did the scores for Black Sails and other things including I think Outlander but I haven’t watched that). She was then assumed (rightly) to be dead until some time later when she turns back up claiming to know the way to earth (the goal of the entire series).

At the 4A finale, they find a planet that may be earth (It isn’t really but I’m not gonna get super into the mythology of Battlestar Galactica, you don’t care that much) and on that planet they find…Starbuck’s plane and her body. Even though she’s been there with them and led them to this place??

Anyway, they then go on to find actual!earth and its looking like Starbuck and Apollo are finally gonna get to be together, and they’re going to be okay, there are no more barriers left in their way after four seasons of this, and then he turns to look at her and she’s fucking gone. And it broke me at the tender age of 15 or however old I was in 2009.

However, I have now rewatched the show quite a few times because I like to Suffer™️ and am better now at recognising their relationship for the destructive mess it is and them as the broken people they are and i do still love them both and I do still ship it but it doesn’t quite hit Right anymore, you know?

The OTHER ship that is now my favourite from this otherwise deeply upsetting show that basically invented desaturated sci-fi for the modern era (Also you want to talk gritty reboots? Holy shit) is Them:

Grace Park as Lieutenant Sharon “Athena” Agathon and Tahmoh Penikett as Lieutenant Karl “Helo” Agathon

They are quite literally The Future in the show, because she is one of the cylon robots and he is human. He was in love with a sleeper agent copy of her who had no idea she wasn’t human and he sacrificed himself to save her (and a bunch of civilians) and ended up stranded on an irradiated wasteland that used to be their home planet and the only reason he was able to survive is because this copy of her, Athena, was given all of Boomer’s memories but without the questionable boyfriend and Athena absolutely fell in love with Helo, knowing full well what she was and like. Kind of technically baby trapped him? But they didn’t know that was possible (since she is a robot) and their daughter is like the key to the future of the human race and sapient life in general and when he finds out what Athena is he takes a minute to readjust (and frankly wouldn’t you?) and then decides “yeah no still in love with her.” Also in retrospect he is a bit of a himbo/malewife energy despite being very competent and badass when called upon to be and is also one of my favourite male characters in anything so I am slightly biased (fun fact when he guest starred in supernatural and died that’s about when I stopped following the show).

Anyway, they go through a LOT of shit because of their kid, various speciesism from both the human fleet and the cylon fleet, all while being entirely devoted to each other even when they’re led to believe their daughter is dead (she’s fine) and at the series finale, the three of them get to be happy together (even though there’s a heart stopping moment when you think he’s dead for a bit during the finale and I hate that moment).

Also my enduring crush on Grace Kim is probably the only thing that would ever convince me to watch Hawaii 5-0 in case I needed another troubling procedural to fall into but that’s neither here nor there.

Aren’t you glad you asked, Anon?

ETA: Starbuck and Helo are also implied to have been friends for a very long time and their moments of friendship spark so much joy for me

#the ghost ship answers questions #battlestar galactica #spoilers #but it ended in 2009 so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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t0bey · 4 years

Note

plum drop the essay on fuyu/peko and mondo/taka paralelles !!!! i am curious

ask and u shall recieve (inserting my first ever page break because holy FUCK this got long)

oke! I guess I’ll start off with Peko’s initial conception as a character, which was the main initial comparison danganronpa intended between Peko and Kiyotaka.

I’ve noticed danganronpa has a tendency to re-use character tropes or roles after each game, tho their fates end up differently. For example, Chihiro was the smart, cute, and sweet character who ended up dying early on and had little significance outside of alter ego afterwards. Chiaki is the same, except if Danganronpa took Chihiro’s character and made her one of the main protagonists that has much more significance in the game.

The staff of SDR2 confirmed that they based Peko off of Kiyotaka, from their intense red eyes (which was intentional) + predominately b&w colorscheme, they both have swords, and their characters are tied to justice, though in different ways. Not to mention both are meant to be extremely disciplined, but ultimately struggle at socializing due to their rough backstories. But that’s where Peko’s ties to Taka as an initial concept end there, because the parallels between Peko/Taka and Fuyuhiko/Mondo are a whole ‘nother ballpark.

Before bringing that up though, we should note that while their designs are significantly different, Mondo and Fuyuhiko are extremely similar in terms of their backstory and personality (down to their ability to curse like a sailor). Both struggle with an inferiority complex (Fuyuhiko w/ how he isn’t taken seriously because of his babyface, Mondo w/ how his self esteem is really fragile and gets jealous of others when he acknowledges them to be stronger than him). Both act like tough, aggressive lone-wolfs (well, Mondo pre-sauna anyways), but have been stated to have a soft side, to the point they doubt their capabilities of being a tough leader because of it. They both even have a sibling they both believe would be a better leader than them (Daiya and Natsumi). BASICALLY fuyuhiko and mondo are the same role, being the intimidating gang leader that no one should fuck with, but in actuality has a lot of insecurities behind that facade.

Ok, ok, time to the ACTUAL relationship parallel analysis. We now know why Peko/Taka are meant to be parallels, and we can definintely make a solid claim for Fuyuhiko and Mondo. This isn’t new for Danganronpa, in their tendency to use patterns but give them a different twist depending on the game. Which is exactly what happened in regards to chapter 2 of THH and SDR2, respectively.

The games’ chapter 1s are simple: meant to introduce the characters/game/stakes. Leon and Sayaka’s deaths were tragic, but the emotional impact of them wasn’t the main priority by the writers. Only to show that this was, indeed, a Killing Game where anyone’s possible to die. But chapter 2 of danganronpa is intended to be the chapter where you’re introduced to just how emotional and tragic the games can actually be, meant for maximum heartbreak (for both the characters and the player).

Chapter 2 of THH was where the different students’s relationships between each other became more solid. Sakura and Aoi were good friends. Toko’s obsession for Byakuya first solidified. Hifumi being Celeste’s servant, etc. Taka and Mondo’s fast developed friendship is no different. After the sauna, the two clicked so much that they believed calling each other just a friend wasn’t really accurate, and settled on calling each other brother instead. While they don’t have memories of their close friendship during Hope’s Peak at this time, it’s heavily implied that their closeness during that time made them subconsciously gravitate towards each other so fast, which could also be seen with Sakura and Aoi, and how Chihiro was able to find Makoto familiar during their introduction.

Peko and Fuyuhiko’s relationship could be considered to be just as close. The two grew up together, quite literally since they were kids. Like Taka and Mondo’s relationship pre-sauna, Fuyuhiko and Peko’s relationship was somewhat strained, though it’s more deeply rooted than two extremely contrasting guys clashing over their perceptions of each other. Fuyuhiko is extremely insecure in his place as the Kuzuruyuu clan’s head, and sees Peko’s desire to protect him and carry out his commands as an unwanted crutch that challenges his desire to be independent, as well as extremely worrying considering how because of this, Peko devalues her own life and worth as a person. Fuyuhiko very much loves Peko as a person, and as such tried to distance himself from her during their time on Jabberwock Island. Though unfortunately, Peko took this as him loathing her in general, further cementing her desire to be his “tool” because if he couldn’t stand being around her, she might as well make herself useful to him.

Now. Finally to get into the explicit parallels between the relationships of Kiyotaka/Mondo, and Peko/Fuyuhiko. Peko and Taka’s perspective on their relationships is a great starting point.

Each game’s chapter 2 shows just how willing both Taka and Peko are willing to go in order to protect Mondo and Fuyuhiko. Peko’s motive for killing Mahiru wasn’t to escape, but to in her eyes save Fuyuhiko from the Killing Game, by using herself as his tool to carry out muder, and have everyone incorrectly vote for her so Fuyuhiko could get away. She was his bodyguard in the truest sense of the word. Now in THH’s chapter 2, instead of fighting against Mondo in proving his guilt, you’re fighting Kiyotaka. He refuses any evidence you throw at him, arguing relentlessly to prove Mondo’s innocence, to the point the only reason he stopped was because Mondo told him to. And you later find out, in chapter 3, that Kiyotaka felt so determined to prove Mondo’s innocence was because he felt like it was his responsibility to, as he cared for Mondo so much.

So, in a way, Taka considers himself Mondo’s bodyguard. Just without the years worth of reinforcement that you’re nothing but a tool to be used which makes you devalue your own worth as a person. (Not that his self esteem and willpower wasn’t ultimately crushed by Mondo’s execution, but that’s only because the circumstances he lost him was undenyingly brutal considering the Killing Game). While the circumstances of Peko’s desire to protect Fuyuhiko are really murky and problematic considering how she was raised, Danganronpa confirmed that she protected him so much because of her care for him, to the point she was willing to sacrifice her own life to assure that Fuyuhiko is safe. And Kiyotaka was willing to go to the exact same drastic measures, by voting for himself.

It’s also worth noting that in the stage play, he willingly accepted to be punished alongside him by doing this to make sure Mondo doesn’t die alone.

So from my own understanding, Super Danganronpa 2 took the tragedy of Mondo and Taka’s relationship, and flipped it so that while it still follows its signature use of repetitive patterns, they made the circumstances different, but just as heartbreaking. And how? Because they took the Taka of the relationship, and made Peko the culprit. It’s not the Mondo this time, which is who you’re supposed to expect to be the culprit, because of your expectation from THH’s trial 2.

Peko tried her best to protect Fuyuhiko, much like Kiyotaka tried to after he recognized the fact Mondo was the blackened. Both were, at the expense of their classmate’s and their own lives, were willing to protect them both, no matter what. Peko took a more active role in trying to do this however, which is what Kiyotaka severely regretted not doing, as stated in chapter 3.

And Fuyuhiko is what would have happened if Mondo was forced to face the consequences of his actions (in Fuyu’s case, being partially responsible for Mahiru’s death, in Mondo’s case, Chihiro’s). Instead of Taka arguing to prove Mondo’s innocence, it’s Fuyuhiko who’s doing that for Peko. A deliberate use of subverting the pattern given to us by THH’s chapter 2.

That’s the main takeaway, but I suppose I should also address the romantic parallels while I’m at it. I personally don’t like Kuzupeko as a romantic relationship, mainly because of how Peko’s self worth and personal value of herself as a person was as a direct result from being considered Fuyuhiko’s “tool” and their professional relationship as yakuza leader/henchman. Fuyuhiko does love her as a person, but that doesn’t negate the years of psychological degradation Peko endured to consider herself as a tool. Though in typical Danganronpa fashion, they choose to gloss over the problematic aspects of their relationship while heavily implying romantic subtext between them. So while I can’t say I’m a fan, I know the game/DR3 anime says otherwise.

And as for Ishimondo, I know some will disagree with me, but I definitely feel that their relationship is heavily lined with romantic subtext as well. Not much is really explicit in the game outside of Ishida and Hifumi’s romantic rivalry for alter ego (who Taka considers Mondo), but the mangas and posters definitely show their relationship that most would consider normal for couples.

But at the end of the day? Both Peko and Taka love Fuyuhiko and Mondo, whether or not you consider both, one, or none of their relationship to be romantic. They wouldn’t have put their own lives on the line if it was anything else. And it’s that emotional connection between Kiyotaka and Mondo, and Peko and Fuyuhiko that’s meant to give you an emotional punch in the gut for THH and SDR2’S chapter 2’s, because of how far the two were willing to protect them.

#ask #spaceymedicgamer #kiyotaka ishimaru #peko pekoyama #cw kuzupeko #ishimondo #danganronpa #super danganronpa 2 #DanganRonpa: Trigger Happy Havoc

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startanewdream · 3 years

Text

Teenage behaviour

For @sweeethinny ‘s amazing prompt: ‘Instead of Harry seeing Molly's boggart, he sees Lily's, and faces him and his father dead on the floor, while his mother panics’.

Thanks again for this prompt! I always love to explore Lily and Harry’s relationship!

Read on AO3 or below the cut:

______________________________

Harry's smile doesn't reach his eyes.

Lily has been stealing glances in his direction all night, ever since she got home from her shift, and even though he is talking and eating and acting normal, she can see there is something restrained about him.

She looks around, trying to understand what is dampening his mood - not that it would need much lately, but still, he should be more thrilled about returning to Hogwarts tomorrow, especially considering their fear that he would be expelled. Everything seems normal, though. The kitchen is full of people talking and drinking, enjoying that last-minute party, and everyone's mood seems better than usual. She sees Ron listing the qualities of his new broom to Tonks, while Hermione is talking with Remus about her project of rights for house-elves. Both Ron and Hermione are still beaming because of today’s news.

She raises her eyes to the banner Molly hanged over the dinner table. That brings a warm smile to her lips; Molly had sounded more cheerful than Lily had seen her all summer when she had told proudly of Ron being made a prefect.

Then her eyes fall on Harry again. He is looking wistfully at the banner, with just a hint of guilt shining in his eyes.

Understanding hits her.

He wanted to be a prefect.

That doesn't make much sense for her, considering how Harry always inspired himself in James and how much Harry doesn’t seem to particularly care for authority figures, but there is disappointment and hurt in his eyes, no matter how much he tries to hide it.

Maybe it was some expectation that Dumbledore would choose him? Or he feels that people don’t trust him anymore? Or maybe he is feeling like he let his parents down for not being a prefect?

Whatever it is, she will have to do something about it. This would be easier if James was there that night - Harry does have a tendency to always hear whatever his dad says -, but since he is away on Order duty tonight, Lily will handle it alone.

She looks around once more before locating Sirius and Ginny talking animatedly to each other; they are close enough to Harry so he will be able to hear them talking, so she approaches them.

‘Aubrey’s head was twice the normal size’, Sirius is saying, opening his hands to emphasize it, almost hitting Lily. ‘Oh, sorry, Lily’.

‘No harm done’, she says lightly. ‘Are you telling the infamous balloon head prank?’

‘I will let you know it’s one of the best Marauders pranks to date’, Sirius replies, seeming very proud of himself.

‘Don’t believe him, they originally wanted Aubrey’s head to shrink’, she tells Ginny conspiringly, making Ginny smirk. ‘And they didn’t even try to hide it, it led them directly into detention. No wonder you never made prefect’.

She knows Harry is looking in their direction, but she pretends to not notice.

‘Can you imagine, you and James as prefects?’

Sirius shudders, putting his hands over his heart and looking properly scandalous, just as Lily knew he would be.

‘We would never! Plus we would have to give ourselves detentions on a daily basis’.

‘Like Remus ever gave you any’, she scoffs playfully.

‘Well, he could turn a blind eye on us sometimes. Ok, most of the time’, Sirius concedes when Lily just raises her eyebrows. ‘But I remember a certain Head Girl doing the same’.

Lily laughs shamelessly.

‘If I didn’t catch you, how could I do anything? And with James as Head Boy, you certainly learned to avoid being caught’.

‘It sure helps when your best friend is Head Boy and decides the patrolling routes’, Sirius agrees, grinning.

‘Hang on’, Ginny says, frowning. ‘James was a Head Boy? Your James?’

Lily sees Harry joining their circle and she smiles to herself.

‘Yeah, we were as shocked as you when we found out’, says Sirius dramatically.

‘But he wasn’t a prefect -’

‘Head Boy and Head Girl may have been prefects, but if the headmaster thinks someone else should be, he can choose’, Lily explains. ‘It doesn’t matter whether you were a prefect or not, as long as you are responsible and trusting, really’.

‘You know, that was the only time I really considered telling Dumbledore we were animagi - we couldn’t let him think James was responsible -’

‘Come on’, Lily says fairly. ‘He had improved a lot by our seventh year, it made sense he would be a Head Boy’.

‘Oh, don’t tell my mum that’, Ginny pleads in a hushed whisper. ‘There is no way I will be a prefect next year, but then she might hope I get sense enough to be a Head Girl’. Ginny turns to Harry, shaking her head in fake panic, and Harry lets out an amused laugh.

They all laugh then, and Lily feels good when she sees Harry is more relaxed now as if remembering his father wasn’t prefect either is enough to raise his spirits.

She doesn’t say it and she doesn’t really mind, but she thinks Harry could be a Head Boy in a couple of years. Harry does have the leadership she saw in James in their last year at Hogwarts, even if he doesn’t mind breaking the rules now and then. But if he is not chosen, that will be fine for her too.

Lily hopes Harry understands this.

She shares a drink with Sirius, who is still telling adventures of the Marauders to Ginny, while keeping an eye on Harry. He drifts off to talk with Fred and George and Mundungus - a trio that speaks of trouble for her -, then he leaves them to sit on a chair, pretending to be busy drinking a butterbeer. His face is troubled once more and Lily resists the urge to sigh.

Harry’s changes of mood are more erratic than she can deal with these days. She always thought Death Eaters and bigotry would be the biggest challenges in her life, but now she thinks understanding teenage behaviour is much more difficult.

She throws a sympathetic look at Molly, who is yawning now, admiring the fact that Molly dealt with that seven times.

‘Oh, sorry, Lily’, Molly says, flushing. ‘I just woke up so early today…’

Lily smiles.

‘Go get some rest, Molly. I patch things up here later’. And when Molly opens her mouth, looking worried, Lily smiles. ‘I won’t let them stay up late, I promise’.

‘Thank you, dear. I am really tired… I’ll just sort out that boggart before I turn in -’

‘No, no, let me’, Lily offers. ‘Is that thing shaking the cabinet in the drawing room?’

‘Yes, Alastor confirmed to me tonight it’s a boggart’.

‘That’s on me then. Go rest’, Lily insists. ‘You already made too much today - helping to sort out that last-minute shopping list, this nice dinner. I’ll handle the boggart later, I will have to wait for James to come home anyway’.

Molly looks at her with a knowing expression.

‘I can never sleep before Arthur returns too’, she murmurs, and Lily is familiar with the fear shining in Molly’s brown eyes.

‘Everything is going to be okay’, she says calmly, even though they both know it is an empty promise.

Molly bides her good night and Lily watches her go.

It really must be more difficult for her, Lily thinks. Seven children, one of them not talking with the family, and Molly already lost her two brothers in the first war. That makes the Weasley braver than her and James, she ponders; they aren’t hunted. They are choosing to be part of this war.

They really are the best family. She thanks silently the day Harry decided to sit together with Ron on the Hogwarts Express.

Speaking of her son, Mad-Eye is talking to him, showing him something, and even though Alastor looks as delighted as he can be, Harry seems to be sick.

Lily turns in his direction, determined to fix the situation again, but before she can reach them, Sirius distracts Mad-Eye and Harry escapes, crossing the kitchen in quick steps and slipping through the door before anyone can talk to him.

Great.

She walks to Mad-Eye and sees he is showing around an old photograph of the first Order of the Phoenix, that finally comes to her hand. Lily looks at herself, smiling hand-in-hand with James, and is startled to see how young they both look. Well, not just them. Everyone.

And those who are not here anymore look even younger.

She sees Marlene’s grin and Dorcas’s wistful smile and longing burns inside her for those evenings talking in the Common Room, for their girl’s night out after ending Hogwarts, for all the plans they made. They are so happy and hopeful in her memories, blissful to the fact Dorcas would face Voldemort alone, or that Marlene and all her family would perish in a fire.

She never said goodbye to any of them.

‘What were you talking about with Harry, Alastor?’, she asks in a quiet voice, returning the photo to him as if the distance can lessen the pain that photograph brings to her. She feels a little bit mad at him for bringing this photo to a party.

It’s not like she can or wants to forget all of those who died - it’s just she did not expect to see the reminder of all they lost so suddenly...

‘Just showing the boy the original group. Thought he might like it - so many stories to tell’.

Lily wonders if he told Harry the tragic end of most of those stories and she grimaces at the thought.

Harry doesn’t return so, after a while, Lily leaves the kitchen too. People are still talking animatedly and there are still a few minutes before she will have to break the party. But Lily doesn’t feel like chatting right now, so she may as well get things done. She considers going to see Harry, to check if his things are all packed for tomorrow, but he probably doesn’t want company. He is like her in that sense; prefers to be left alone to brood.

She enters the drawing room, looking around with mild interest. The children did make a good job cleaning everything up, but Grimmauld Place will never seem a happy place. Too many bad memories and dark thoughts, she thinks, as Kreacher passes behind herself, mumbling to himself and glaring at her.

Sirius forbade him of saying mudblood, but she only needs to look him in the eyes to feel the word.

There is nothing she can do about it and Lily prefers to fix on the problems she can solve anyway.

The cabinet close to the window is giving small jumps as if it’s alive. She walks to it, her mind already fixed on the remembrance of Aubrey with that big balloon head (he had really been a jerk and James and Sirius had pranked him for harassing first years muggle-borns, so she hadn’t mind laughing that time), and takes out her wand.

‘Alohomora!’

The cabinet opens and, appearing out of thin air, she sees James holding Harry as a baby, both lying in the ground, with eyes closed, pale and still. Dead.

They are dead.

Her heart beats faster and her mouth is suddenly dry, even as Lily knows this is just the boggart. It feels more like a dream, though, so she stays still for a few seconds, watching her husband and son’s corpses with a strange detachment. She really thought it would be just a dementor - and she would be ready for it this time.

But Lily supposes the memories that the dementor had arisen activated the true fear she had felt that night - that James and Harry would die while everything she could do was to watch hopelessly. Like she is doing now.

The fear creeps through her mind like smoke she can’t help but inhale, and that smoke makes her head light and dizzy, creating images in her head. She pictures how her life would be if that had happened, if Lily had taken Voldemort’s offer to stand aside while he murdered her husband and son and she was left alone.

And lost.

She wonders what she would have done and it’s surprisingly easy to answer. Find and kill Pettigrew, for starters, because there would be no James to hate him more than her and no son to give her other priorities. Then she would go after Voldemort; she would not rest until he was dead, no matter the cost. The boy-who-lived would be replaced by the mother-who-killed.

But then - and that is the scariest part - there would be nothing. No reason to live for. Her days would be empty and pointless, forever missing the two people she had most loved and knowing no vengeance would ever fill that hole…

‘Mum?’, she hears a voice asking, and for a moment Lily can’t really match the voice to anyone, certain she had never heard it before, that he died when he was just a baby -

She turns slowly to find Harry - her living son - at the door, looking at the dead bodies on the floor, then at her.

‘It’s a boggart’, Harry realizes. ‘Don’t - get out of here - let someone else -’

Harry looks worried for her. Somehow, this clears the smoke in her head. Lily steadies her hand and looks back at the corpses lying on the floor with nothing but determination.

‘Riddikulus!’, she says loud and clear, and the boggart turns into a man with a big blue balloon in the place of his head. Lily lets out a nervous laugh and the boggart vanishes in a puff of smoke.

Her heart is still beating faster, so Lily takes a moment to calm herself, to let all those bad feelings slip out of her; she almost jumps when she feels Harry’s hand on her shoulder. She had not heard him walking to her.

'Mum?’, he calls very quietly. ‘Are you ok?’

'It was just a stupid boggart, Harry', she says, forcing herself to smile at him. Harry is frowning, seeing through her empty smile just as she sees through his. 'Just go to bed, tomorrow is -'

'Do you always see us?', he asks in a hushed whisper, ignoring her dismissal. 'I mean - that -'

He stops, unable to continue, and Lily feels a sudden urge to just tell him it was nothing and to let it go. She knows Harry would hate it, but he also would respect her desire to be left alone with her thoughts and fears.

But since all she’s been asking of her son lately is that he talks to her, Lily supposes she has to set the example.

'Sometimes, yes’, she admits in a low voice. ‘At other times it’s a dementor. But it’s all related to the same thing, really’.

Harry looks deep in thought and he stares at the point where the bodies were.

'It was me as a baby', he says, and Lily nods. 'But - why? I mean, I lived’.

She sighs once more and sits on the couch.

'Come here', she asks, and Harry sits opposite to her on the same couch, his legs crossed just like he used to do when he was young and was listening to one of her bedtime stories, except this time most of his leg is out of the couch. That makes her feel strangely comforted, even if she feels her eyes tearing up a little. ‘You grew up so fast’.

‘Mum -’, he starts, looking half-embarrassed as he always does when James or Lily start remembering him as a kid.

‘I am saying it like a good thing’, she promises. ‘I just feel so lucky to have witnessed it all’.

Harry seems confused.

‘Lucky?’

She looks away to where the boggart was on the floor.

‘When I think about that night - the one where you got your scar - I always remember how close we were to lose everything. How you were almost… you and James…’

‘But it didn’t happen’, he says forcefully. ‘We all survived’.

‘Yes, but back then, at the time - I didn’t think we would make it. I really thought… I really lost hope for a moment. Sometimes I still dream of that night, but my worst nightmares are… of that’. She points to the floor. ‘If somehow you and James were gone and I was left alone -’

She can’t continue. Harry breathes heavily.

‘You wouldn’t be alone, I mean, you would still have Remus and Sirius, they -’

‘Harry’, she interrupts him softly, looking back at him. He already seems distraught, but she has to make him understand. ‘I love them, of course, but how would it be if I and your father had died then? If you were raised by Remus and Sirius?’

He stays silent for a moment and Lily can see him picturing all that alternative life. Lily supposes Sirius as a figure parent is an amusing idea, but Harry doesn’t smile for a second.

‘It would never be enough’, he whispers at least. ‘They would never replace you’.

‘They would never try to, I am sure, but... This is it. A life without you and your father would be just - just empty for me. And that’s what I fear the most. That I would be too weak that night and that I had to watch you both dying’.

‘You are strong’, Harry says resolutely, grabbing her hand and squeezing it, though Lily can’t tell if he is doing that for her sake or his own, to also confirm to him that everything is alright. ‘I - I heard what happened’.

‘What do you mean?’

Harry looks abashed, and he lowers his eyes.

'That’s why dementors hit me so hard. The thing I hear when they are near… It’s that night. Bits of it, but I hear... You and Voldemort. You plead for me, and he - he laughs and tells you to stand aside, but you refuse. You always refuse’.

Lily blinks, feeling the blood leaving her face.

'You never said anything’.

'I didn't want to upset you', Harry whispers. 'I know you don't like remembering it'.

She gives him a tiny smile despite everything. She never told him about her own worries, but Harry probably noticed how even though she didn't have any problem explaining about Voldemort, only James would talk to him about that Halloween night.

Harry sees more than people give him credit for.

'You could have told me', she says softly. 'It is not your job to worry about me, Harry'.

'But I do', he admits. 'I don't want anything to happen to you'.

There is a desperation in his voice now, like if he is really afraid something could happen with her and, with a jolt, Lily realizes they never really talked about what happened earlier that month, about how Harry drew away the dementors from her.

About how he needed to do it because she had frozen.

'I am sorry to have scared you', she says tenderly.

'It's not - I wasn't really scared with that boggart'.

Lily believes him. Harry seems to think his father is invincible and he is too selfless to regard his own death as something to be afraid of.

'I meant about the dementors a few weeks ago. And if somehow you thought I couldn't handle that boggart right now'.

Harry blinks.

'I didn't think that', he says slowly, and Lily knows he is considering his own feelings on the matter. 'I mean - I know what you are capable of'.

'I just don't want you thinking that you need to take care of me. I am the parent here. That's my job'.

'I don’t want to lose you’, he whispers guiltily, as if somehow even thinking about it should be wrong. ‘I wouldn’t - I don’t know how I could cope if -’

Harry looks so fragile right now that she does the simplest thing. She stretches her legs, in an offer, and Harry lies down, placing his head on her lap, allowing her to caress his hair like she used to do when he was young, until he would fall asleep.

‘I won’t live forever, Harry’, she says softly. ‘Someday you will be without me - and really, that’s what I hope for’. When he looks startled, she adds with a smile: ‘That you get to live longer than me. That you get a full happy life’.

‘It will only be happy if you are there’, he insists. ‘You and dad. You -’, he stops, closing his eyes as if he doesn’t want her to see more of his emotions than he is already letting it show on his voice. ‘You need to be careful. I know you are good, but - sometimes people are just in the wrong place in the wrong time’.

She knows what he is talking about and she remembers seeing Harry and Cedric Diggory leaving together for the Third Task of the Triwizard Tournament, both looking thrilled that it would be over soon and that one of them might win the Tournament.

And she remembers when they all noticed something was off, when there were whispers of a dead champion and how she had feared so much that it would be Harry… And the guilt she’d felt later when she was just relieved that it wasn’t him.

The good die young, her mother used to say somberly when she saw news of a tragedy.

Lily thinks about the photograph of the old Order, of hope and dreams that mattered none when the people were dead, and she finally understands what upset Harry enough to make him leave the dining party.

‘Moody told you what happened with people from the first Order of the Phoenix’, she says.

Harry bits his lips, looking away from her.

‘I can’t promise you me and your father will make it through this war, Harry’, she says slowly, wishing she could lie to him about it. ‘But I can assure you that we will make everything we can to live… and if not, we will always be with you, you do know that, right?’

She touches his chest, right above his heart, and Harry trembles.

‘I know’, he concedes at least, but there is sorrow in his eyes. Then he looks back at her. ‘Moody told me about the Prewetts and Benjy and the Longbottoms and… I recognized Marlene from that photo in your office. You never told me her whole family had died too’.

‘It was just too painful’, Lily sighs. ‘It was just after your first birthday, when we were already hiding and I remember thinking... maybe I should have done something, I should have protected her -’

‘It was not your fault!’, Harry cries, looking appalled that she feels like that.

Lily refrains herself of pointing out the irony there.

‘I know. It’s Voldemort’s fault’, she pauses, looking at the eyes that are a mirror to hers. ‘Everything that happened. Blame him, blame the people who think like him and allow him to ascend to power, but never blame anyone else’.

Harry blinks and doesn’t answer her.

‘We are better prepared this time’, she tells him, still playing with his hair gently. ‘It will not be like in the First War - we started too late then and we were too few. Now - now we have a better idea of what we need to do, of what he’s after -’

‘The weapon’, he says, and Lily remembers their first night in Grimmauld Place and what little they had told Harry. They never really said it was a weapon, but if Harry thought so, it was for the better.

He didn’t need to hear about that prophecy, not yet. It would give him the wrong ideas probably.

‘Among other things’, she says vaguely.

He sits again, looking rather upset at her.

‘You really won’t tell me?’

‘That’s not your burden to care, Harry. Not now. I know you don’t like to hear that and I know you don’t think it’s fair, but… when you are older. Of age, at least. After school. If there is still a war going on then… then we can talk about you joining the Order and knowing things’.

Harry doesn’t look like he believes her. ‘You would just not care if I joined the Order? Simple as that?’

‘I will care’, she guarantees, running a hand nervously through her hair as James would have done. ‘But I won’t forbid you. No one forbade me, it wouldn’t be fair if I tried to stop you’.

He still looks suspiciously, but Lily just returns his gaze without blinking. She is telling him the truth; sure, she will do everything she can so that Voldemort can be finished before he is of age, but if he is seventeen and the war is still happening, she knows she won’t be able to stop him.

Like her, Harry never refrains from doing the right thing and she taught him to never stand for prejudice.

‘And until then? What do I do? Just sit here waiting?’, he asks, but for once he doesn’t sound like he is fighting with her.

‘Of course not. You can study’. When Harry grimaces, she smiles. ‘Everything you do in school is important. Every lesson - yeah, even Potions, don’t give me that look. You study and you use it to prepare yourself. Not just you, but Ron and Hermione too. All of you must be ready for what happens outside. Life won’t be like in school all the time, where you know when a spell will hit you or that when the bell rings you are safe’.

Harry bits his lips, looking thoughtful.

‘I know it’s not. I mean - for the Triwizard Tournament I learned a lot of spells and how to cast them, but - when it comes to the real thing, when -’, he takes a deep breath. ‘- when I was in the graveyard with Voldemort, it’s not like in school. It’s just your guts and instinct and - and trying to survive’.

This is the most Harry has said about the night of Voldemort’s resurrection to her and, for the first time, Lily wonders if she really wants to know. Just thinking about the desperation he must have felt fighting for his life…

He survived, she tells herself. You won’t be able to keep him under your wings forever, so you give him all the skills you can. You make sure he will be ready.

‘That is it, Harry. Promise you will take your studies seriously this year. Not just because of the OWLs, but because you know what’s happening out here, even if everyone else is denying it’.

He looks solemnly as he gives a tiny nod to her.

‘I will. And I will make sure others are prepared too. I - I don’t want - what happened to Cedric - to ever happen again’.

She smiles serenely to him, even as she remembers Amos Diggory’s cries and thinks darkly he won’t be the last parent to despair for his child in this war.

The good die young.

‘Are you going to stay here?’, he asks, distracting her from her grim thoughts. Lily sighs.

‘No, I promised Molly I would make sure everyone is in their bed not too late. You know how chaotic September 1st can be. And then -’

‘Then?’

‘I will just stay up a little bit longer’.

Harry looks at her as if he can see all that she is not telling him.

‘Dad will be home late?’ he asks, though it doesn’t really seem a question. Lily just sighs, confirming it. ‘I could keep you company’.

Lily smiles more warmly now.

‘You can go rest, Harry, it’s no problem. I’ll just make myself a tea and wait in the kitchen’.

‘I’m not sleepy’, he assures her. ‘I haven’t been sleeping much. I keep having the weirdest dream, really… And, well, I thought we could make some hot chocolate’.

That brings a warmth to her that has nothing to do with the beverage. She thinks of late nights with James and Harry, especially in winter, when they would make hot chocolate and share it in front of the fireplace in their house.

That kind of silly small moments that never seem important as you are living them, but somehow they turn into your favourite memories.

‘With whipped cream?’, she asks, her voice lighter now, and Harry smirks, making his resemblance to James more evident.

‘You can even put a little bit of brandy and I won’t tell anyone’.

She blushes, getting up. ‘I have no idea what you are talking about’.

‘I’m fifteen, mum, I get it now what was the medicine in your chocolate’.

‘When did you get so smart?’, she asks playfully, taking his arm so they can descend the stairs together to the kitchen. ‘Anyway, no alcohol for you’.

‘Spoilsport’, he complains without any real malice. ‘When will I get to drink?’

‘If you are still asking me, Harry, then you are still too young, trust me’, Lily answers grinning.

Harry shakes his head, mumbling to himself almost indignantly but this is such a normal teenage behaviour that Lily will take it without complaining. That’s the kind of thing she wants him to be worried about.

She kisses him softly on the cheek before they enter the kitchen, knowing Harry would be too embarrassed to be seen receiving a kiss from his mother in front of everyone - another very usual teenage behaviour -, and smiles to herself.

‘Thanks for the company’, she says later, when they are alone in the kitchen after sending everyone to bed.

‘Anytime, mum’, he promises, filling his cup with whipped cream, while they accommodate themselves to wait for James to come home.

#Jily Lives #Jily Fanfic #Harry Potter #Lily Potter #Lily Potter is a good mother #Harry and Lily moments #angst with a happy ending #t: fanfiction #Eyes glistening

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