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im-not-samantha-im-samanta · 1 year

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{Jervis Tetch having teaparties with an autistic s/o}

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A few words from author: Hello there guys, long time no see! ^^"

I know I've been really inactive lately, but I needed a mental health break, hope you can understand.

Anyways, I got pulled into a new fandom yet again, so here I present you imagines for the Batman franchise, specifically imagines for Gotham!Jervis. ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

Hope y'all will enjoy these, especially my fellow babycakes who are also on the autism spectrum! Tried to include more than just the traits I experience. <3

Settings: Can be read as both romantic and platonic

Genre: Pure fluff ^^

!TRIGGER WARNING!: Hints of typical Jervis stuff, swear words here and there, and I think that's all ^^

Sidenote: I'm still new to the Batman franchise, and this is my first time writing Gotham Jervis, I'm sorry if he's too ooc (⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠෴⁠ ⁠༎ຶ⁠)

Sidenote: s/o can be interpreted as significant other (as in romantic) or special one (as in platonic)

Sidenote: gender of reader is not specified, but I genuinely apologize if reader description leans more into a feminine sense

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~Jervis is not a good man,

~he's very far from it,

~But he can be a decent person if he wants to be,

~and for you, he'd gladly be more than a decent person, <3

~or more like a decent little lovestruck madman

~But only for you, nobody else,

~And so, despite really needing for his teaparties to be exactly that certain way he likes them,

~he does go out of his way to accommodate to your needs and preferences,

~He really wants for you to enjoy his teaparties and be comfortable, ;^;

~You're his Alice after all, you deserve the best!

~And what all that means?

~Well, glad you asked! :3

~First off, if you don't like the cutlery, cups and dishes he uses, he doesn't get upset,

~he lets you bring your own if you wish and need that,

~he respects that, and doesn't make a fuss about it even if he'd literally never allow for anyone else to refuse to use his treasured beautiful porcelain teaparty set,

~that's how dear you are to him, <3

~On another note, if you're like me and don't necessarily need your own dishes, cups and cutlery BUT you do favour some dishes, cups and cutlery over the others,

~and if you do subconsciously create a routine to use a specific pair of cutlery, cups and dishes,

~then Jervis always makes sure you get to use that specific pair on any of his teaparties,

~and he reserves that specific pair of cutlery, cups and dishes just for you,

~No-one, and I mean no-one is allowed to use that specific pair anymore,

~the moment you show you prefer that pair, everyone else loses their privileges to use that pair,

~Now another thing - Safefood and Samefood,

~Jervis is really good at making various snacks and treats for his teaparties,

~so, each teaparty you'll have wide variety of things to choose from,

~and he tends to come up with something new all the time,

~However, if you show you prefer to eat the same snacks at each teaparty,

~and if you show to be uncomfortable or distressed at not being able to get your usual,

~Jervis will go out of his way to make sure that on each of his teaparties you get to have the same snacks,

~Of course he'll also include some new treats too because he himself can't eat the same thing all the time,

~but you definitely get to have your samefood at each teaparty,

~he always makes sure that you do, <3

~Also, if you have any specific safefood, Jervis always includes it on his teaparties,

~even if the food or drink is not that fit for a teaparty,

~Oh, and if you happen to not like some snack Jervis made because of the texture,

~then you won't see the snack on his teaparties ever again,

~that specific snack will be a taboo, ^^"

~Now another thing!

~Jervis likes to dress up for his teaparties,

~he really likes to look all fancy and wonderland like,

~and he would like that for you too,

~but again, if you have issues with wearing more fancy clothes due to them being uncomfortable or something,

~Jervis will be more understanding, and won't force you to dress up for him,

~he doesn't want you to get exhausted and distressed from wearing something that you do not like, ;^;

~After all, his teaparties are meant to be a pleasant experience for you where you can be yourself and feel happy,

~unlike how his teaparties work for others

~However, if you're willing to dress up for him, Jervis will be ecstatic,

~and if you don't have anything that would be that fit for the specific vibe Jervis craves so much,

~just ask him, cuz Jervis has so many costumes for that purpose,

~But don't worry!

~If you are sensitive to certain materials, and if you wouldn't find any good costume for your liking,

~then Jervis definitely would be up to getting you a custom outfit for his teaparties, only made of materials you can stand, <3

~Aaand here goes another thing!

~If you are sensitive to noise, Jervis makes sure that the teaparties are held in peace,

~he makes sure the place isn't loud, he himself talks gently and at a volume you can tolerate,

~he even controls his reactions a lot to make sure he won't startle you or anything,

~which can sometimes be a little hard for him, but he tries his best for you,

~oh, and his men are usually not allowed to be around either,

~they are usually ordered to be in a different room or something,

~and damn, if they ever disturb or are too loud and make you distressed...

~well, I'm sure you can imagine what happens... (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

~However if you are the opposite and you like noise,

~then Jervis goes all out, he doesn't hold back,

~he talks at a slightly louder volume, he's expressive, enthusiastic, impulsive and if wanted, he lets some intense classical music (or maybe a different genre if you ask nice enough) be played in the background,

~and of course he lets you be as loud as you want, <3

~you can talks as loud as you please, you can make noise and stim, no shame, no holding back,

~and if you really are sensory seeking, you're allowed to touch anything that catches your interest,

~sometimes Jervis will even prepare random yet interesting decorations, wanting to see whether or not will that item catch your interest,

~Also if you like crunchy food, then Jervis makes sure you get as much of it as you'd like,

~if your sensory seeking makes you crave physical contact, you get all of it,

~you can sit close and lean on him, you can mess with his hands, trace his face,

~Jervi's favourite form of physical contact is holding your hand and squeezing it, ^^

~and if you like getting your hair brushed and played with, then that also happens a lot because that's the second form of physical contact Jervis simply adores,

~And probably the last thing,

~if you feel like talking, you can talk as much as you'd like,

~you can talk and talk about whatever you want, Jervis will listen intently,

~Jervia adores hearing you talk, especially about your special interest, no matter what it is,

~And just between you and me, Jervis will deliberately ask you questions regarding your special interest to get you to talk,

~and then he just sits back and watches you with a satisfied, loving smile as you go on and ramble his ears off,

~he loves it,

~And well, that's probably all I can say for now, ^^

~Well, how do I end this...

~Jervis really isn't a good man,

~but he tries to be his best self when he's with you,

~you mean so much to him,

~you're his greatest treasure, and he'll do anything to keep you around, ;^;

~I mean, he won't change who he is,

~but he definitely tries to be a slightly better man with you, <3

#frenklinesamuelsworks #batman imagines #gotham jervis #jervis tetch #gotham Jervis x reader #jervis tetch x reader #gotham mad hatter x reader #batman mad hatter x reader #jervis tetch x autistic reader #gotham jervis x autistic reader #jervis tetch imagines

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chaos0pikachu · 2 years

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thanks for standing up for Kinn, at first I thought people were just mad, like at the moment, first impressions and something along those lines, but then would be mature enough to understand different povs and reasons. but no, every saturday it's the same

I keep mentioning the Klaine Civil War and it's b/c I'm used to defending the easier to blame character lol I used be a Blaine fan back in my teen years and Kurt fans would always go so hard on him to the point of just....purposely misreading his character. It drove a huge wedge in the collective sub-fandom of Klaine shippers and just became kinda toxic and not fun to engage with.

Frankly, Kinnporsche is a more consistent show than glee was the end of it's run. Kinn and Porsche are also more consistent characters than Kurt and Blaine were by the end as well. So like, I'm hoping fandom just kinda....takes some time and chills and then when the show is over rewatches it and come to realize the show is actually pretty nuanced. Thematically the show keeps pushing the idea of "balance" and that's included in the conflicts between Porsche and Kinn.

Like, mi chepies, Kinn is not a bad dude lol he's just in really specific and not great circumstances. He's not purposely trying to hurt Porsche, just like Porsche isn't purposely trying to hurt him (with constantly trusting Vegas like dude, you know this guy has interest in you that's not platonic).

Both Kinn and Porsche are well developed individual characters - which imo is all to rare in Thai BL and romance genre in general imo where the pursuer character is usually bland as fuck b/c their only motivation and/or goal is just to be with/get with the object of their affection, see a lot of Sandra Bollocks romcoms and some BLs I shall not name lol - which makes their relationship more interesting to me.

Because, again, neither is "right" or "wrong" and their conflicts usually stem from environmental sources - I'm not in the mafia but it seems kinda dangerous and mentally damaging y'all! Also Korn, just Korn - or interpersonal issues they individually or collectively have to overcome - yay trauma! - instead of like, the melodrama of Tawan kissing Kinn and Porsche conveniently walks in, runs away, heartbroken and sobbing and oh no! Dun! Dun! Duuuuun! Ep12 queues up the quick resolution**

So yeah, I think fandom will come around, or maybe not, idk but I'll sit here with my Kinn Defender Hat b/c I like Kinn as a character and I get why he's harder for the audience to emphasize with b/c his circumstances are so hyper-specific

I'm still enjoying the fuck outta the show and am struggling with the fact it's gonna end in 5 episodes, we need another season and a movie tbh someone @be on cloud rn

**sidenote this is a staple in the romance genre in general, not just in BL it just usually happens in the last 30mins of the movie instead

#kinnporsche the series

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marshmallowprotection · 8 months

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hellohello!!! i would like a matchup, if possible :) i'm aromantic demisexual, so i'd like a queerplatonic or soft romo one if possible!! i get skittish and anxious about overtly romantic gestures and expectations, but stuff like dates and affection/intimacy is fine to mention as a sidenote :3 (just pls dont match me with yoosung! i dont like him)

i'm 22yo, exactly 5'3", have short wavy brown hair and blue eyes. i'm pretty pale because i don't get out much - i have social anxiety and agoraphobia. i ALSO have bpd and ptsd, which i've been recently unpacking. i didn't realize my trauma was as bad as it is until the past few months, unfortunately.

PERSONALITY STUFF! First off, i have terrible issues with knowing what I'm like! Self image issues and all that. I don't think I'm terrible, but I do have somewhat low self esteem and struggle to figure out what to call myself unless someone else calls me a certain trait or whatever. I tend to mirror back whatever energy people throw at me, unless you're my fp, in which case I'm a ride or die who is very stubborn about it. I'm an Aquarius, ESFP (which surprised me because I act a lot more like an introvert! but cognitive functions don't really lie), 2w3 sx/sp. some traits that have been used to describe me by either myself or others: kind, selfless, moody, sensitive, emotional, holds grudges, passionate, curious, casually flirty (with friends), loyal, honest (i'm a terrible liar), infinitely patient, mom friend. my love languages are physical touch and receiving gifts. i like joking that i have the strongest fawn response to man, and am just now really allowing myself to be angry and hurt over my trauma. there's times where i have to lay down and listen to angry music just to vent it all out.

which leads into hobbies! listening to music is one of my primary coping mechanisms and also a hobby, though i tend to stick mostly to bands i know. my fav genres are indie, pop, rock, and sometimes for spice i like breakcore, industrial, emo, punk, country. i also got into lace tatting recently, though i use it more to stim than make anything concrete. i've gotten back into reading and writing recently, though. i actually finished a four book series recently, and i'm very proud of myself :) i haven't actually finished a book in years

regarding partners, i look for someone who is honest and communicative. i want someone that can understand me, or at least who seeks to try to! i took a uquiz a while back that tells you what form your love takes, and i got 'love as being known', and that REALLY is just... absolutely true. i want someone to look at me, REALLY look at me, see all of my darkest sides, and then look me in the eyes afterwards and still love me. (can you tell that i really relate to saeran yet skdhfksjf) OH! i think a note i want to mention is like. the love song i relate closest to my having feelings fr anyone in general is despair by leo :) bodybag by chloe moriondo also fits really well, for a different mood. those two songs blended together prob exemplify my reaction to having feelings for anyone period. i tend to be really cheerful, and just feel A LOT about any partner i have, so i tend to act in a cheerful, passionate, affectionate way in my relationships. i'm still learning proper boundaries, but i try to reign myself in as best i can when it's inappropriate or overstepping, and communicate when needed (even if it takes me a long while to figure out how to word it sometimes bc i'm a massive overthinker)! i know how to cope with my bpd, but that doesn't stop me from feeling the symptoms and such.

a note about relating to saeran actually, my fav of all of the forms he's taken is actually suit saeran! idk, i relate to him way too much ^^; i'm also a very angry person who holds strong grudges and can be vindictive, i just hide it really well since i don't want to get into any trouble (i'm kind even when i really don't want to be! it can get annoying sometimes because i don't LIKE being a people-pleaser, but man do i hate people being angry at me even more). i can also relate to ray, but i like ignoring that even though i also adore him to bits! it feels a bit too vulnerable sometimes, to do that. which somehow makes me sound even more like suit skdjfhskjdh

ANYWAYS I'M DONE TRAUMADUMPING IN HERE /J all of this came out way more moody(???? idk what word to use here) than i meant but well. shrug emoji. it's been the mood as of late. thank you for reading all of this and for whatever answer you give btw!!!

I match you with...

Jumin!

Would you believe that people who found comfort in communication and understanding often skew the more toward Jumin and Saeran in their character rankings? Well, my friend, you value honesty in a way that one those who seek to talk deep into the night with others can see.

You're a do-er, a giver, someone who wants to make sure that a lot of people are taken care of, but sometimes you go overboard and forget to tell yourself that what matters the most is taking care of your needs first, and everyone else comes after that. You need to be comfortable to take care of others! That's how it goes, and you need someone who not only balances you with their personality but their wish to bloom.

It goes without saying that you bring out the best in him and he brings out the best in you. He stops trying to hold himself back and he starts thinking about how to have fun without thinking about how it may appear to other people. He can laugh, and finally be himself, and isn't that the most beautiful thing in the world?

You make people feel so comfortable that they finally have the opportunity to shine. Jumin's eyes sparkle when you humor him every step of the way when he talks for hours about magic! It's the same for him when he gets to see you laugh for the first time, gushing about something that makes you feel good in a way that nobody's ever seen before. It might seem strange to have a bond with him such as this when he seems like a man who is dominated by desire, but more than anything, he wants someone in his life who understands him deeply, and you fit that bill.

#ask #anon #mod kait #matchup

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theconstantsidekick · 3 years

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Captain America: The Winter Soldier ft. Static (1) | s.r

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader

Genre: Angsty? Kinda?

Summary: Nick Fury's dead. Nicholas J. Fury, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. is dead and Y/n Stark hates being involved in this mess.

(These scenes incorporate y/n, codename—Static, into the pre-existing story as a character without making drastic changes to the plot or mythos. All the major plot points from the MCU remain in place with the addition of the reader as Static, who is not only a Stark but also enhanced. Whatever events from the canon aren’t mentioned, take place without much change.)

Warnings: Swearing.

a/n: read Age of Ultron (ft. Static) to get a better backstory. Not necessary but recommended. But it's fun. I promise.

sidenote: So like, the next chapter should be up in a few hours. I was having a hard time with the Bucky One-Shot and this scene kept playing in my head, so here we are.

“Nat?”

The silence in the room hangs heavy.

Even though Y/n just barged in, she can feel it on her fingertips.

Nick Fury’s lifeless body lies on a stretcher in front of them. Steve is leaning against the wall while Natasha is a couple of steps ahead, paying her respects to Fury.

At the sound of Y/n’s voice, she turns, and it throws Y/n for a spin. She expected Natasha to be hurt but seeing the infamous Black Widow distraught wasn’t exactly something Y/n ever wanted to check off her bucket list.

Y/n takes a few steps into the room, letting the door go and shut close behind her.

Her eyes flick over to Steve who stands there somewhat motionless and blank. His eyes meet her for a brief second but she doesn’t have time for this right now.

“I’m gonna hug you now,” she warns Natasha, her own voice uncertain, almost afraid. “Don—don’t kill me…”

With that caution stated, she walks over with hesitant steps and wraps Natasha in a hug. At first, the hug goes unreciprocated. Y/n doesn’t mind, though. As long as she’s not being pushed away and stabbed furiously, she’ll take it as a win.

But then slowly Natasha starts to make small movements. Her hands climb up and embrace Y/n right back. Her hold is light as a feather, but as previously mentioned, Y/n’s expectations were on the floor. So this… this is good.

“The bullets were untraceable,” Natasha whispers in her ear. “Soviet-made.”

There are certain moments in your life that haunt you. Sometimes it can be the time you chose to jam a jet into the ice and then woke up a couple decades later, to realize you survived. Or maybe it’s the time you tried to recreate the Super Soldier serum and got blasted by enough Gamma Rays that now you have really severe anger management issues. Or maybe it’s the time you worked for the KGB and killed an innocent person because you were ordered to do so. Or maybe it’s that one time you made out with a boy only to find out that he’s your cousin.

Y/n has a couple of those moments.

Fuck, she has a list.

And this just got added to the list.

She stills the moment the words leave Natasha’s lips.

Her shift in demeanor is so sharp that Natasha pulls back with a curious look on her face.

Fuck, Y/n. You’re the shittiest spy in the history of spies.

Y/n clears her throat, shaking her head to get herself to focus on the task at hand. “I have to go take care of this.”

“You don’t understand—” Natasha tries.

But oh, fuck, is she wrong about that.

“I do,” Y/n cuts her off. “I do understand. That’s why I need to take care of this.” She looks down at Fury and curses him inwardly for being responsible for dragging her into this mess, to begin with. Only to end up feeling guilty about bad-mouthing a dead man. So she exhales harshly. Focus on the problem in front of you, one step at a time. She looks back up at Natasha, “But before that, I need to know you’re okay.” Her hands are on Natasha’s arms, holding on, holding still.

Natasha looks at her for a moment.

Y/n knows she’s being assessed, but she hopes the genuine care in her eyes will make up for the suspicion Natasha has in hers.

Because even if Natasha doesn’t know it, she and Y/n are cut from cloth so similar, it’s almost hilarious.

Content with her assessment, Natasha nods once.

Y/n steps back, letting go of Natasha’s arms with one last squeeze. “Call me if you need anything.” She looks over to Steve. There is something in his eyes, she has never seen before. It almost looks like… distrust?

Ouch, Captain.

One assassination and suddenly I’m not worthy of your trust anymore?

She can’t blame him, she supposes.

It seems like a time of Brutus-level betrayal. She’ll try not to take it to heart.

“Applies to you too, Steve,” Y/n adds, just for good measure.

At the sound of those words, the harshness of his gaze softens, just a bit but like she stated before; today the expectations are bare—fucking—minimum.

She nods and then exits the room to go jump off some fucking cliff because fuck the Soviet-made bullets and fuck Nick Fury and his stupid death and above all that FUCK HYDRA.

Read the next part here. Find other static verse works here. Find her origin story here.

tag list: @aryksworld @freeflyingphoenix @jakey-stan @arikarapli @justab-eautifulmess @agentofbarnes @agent-laufeyson @agentmstark @ceo-of-daichi @jn-wolf @eccentricxem @asimovethroughthisworld @paintballkid711 @fairlygothparents @starkleila @heyitsmereading @goldenflickerx @itspetitfantomestuff @ironmansuucks @sidepartskinnyjeans @intothesoul @rue331 @thisisparadisemylove @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @geek-and-proud @jesuswasnotawhiteman @fckdeusername @bduchrnskei @mini-kunoichi-universe @ireadthensuetheauthors

send me an ask or dm to be removed from or added to the tag list.

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1990jeevas · 3 years

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Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

#shit self #asks #the get down #mylene cruz #shaolin fantastic #dizzee kipling #long post #analysis #info dump #idk if anon has seen tgd or is just being nice so i tried givinh background to things #kinz #bangerz #discourse

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curestardust · 3 years

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if you want: “group of young girls with special powers have to save the world” trope / very pleasing art style and animation / story and set-up had potential (but were wasted by inconsistent writing and pacing)

"Assault Lily: Bouquet” was a disappointing watch to me due to just how much potential this anime held that got wasted by bad writing, pacing and inconsistent tone shifts.

I’ve started dubbing certain anime “PMMM-likes” (you know like Roguelikes in video games) because these anime have quite a few things in common: a main cast of girl characters, who fight with magic or some sort of enchancement, usually in order to save the world from some enemy. And the “depressed, lone wolf” dark haired and “ditzy, naive, self-sacrificing” pink haired protagonist duo seems to also be a must. An anime I *really* liked that I’d put in this sub-genre is “Granbelm” (x) (which I’d urge everyone to watch tbh).

“Assault Lily” is somehow based on some kind of toyline and by that I don’t mean figures but literal barbie like dolls that you can customize and such. Although, I didn’t look much into it cause I’m not interested in that stuff. This whole anime feels more like a showcase than an actual story, almost like a build-up for a mobile game. We meet a shitton of characters, get exposition dumped on every little thing and see the workings and aesthetics of the fights on a few occasions.

Again, I’m quite sad at the potential this anime could’ve had. I think the story, if well written, could’ve even lasted 3 seasons.

In short for the story, there are some sort of weird lifeform called the “Huge” that’s attacking humanity. These creatures use a power called “Magie” to function and certain humans (yes, young girls as usual) were found to also be able to use Magie. These girls are called “Lilies” and they use special weapons called “CHARMs” to channel their Magie into and fight the Huge. The protagonist of “Assault Lily” is Riri (the ditzy pink haired girl) who wanted to become a Lily due to being saved by one when her hometown was attacked by a Huge. She meets this girl, Yuyu, but she has changed. She’s cold, uncaring and a loner.

Instead of explaining the story in more detail as I usually do, I’d like to write things out as what each season could’ve focused on if this were a multi-season anime. The 1st season’s content takes place in like the first 3 episodes but spoiler warning from then on.

- Season 1

In this academy, 2nd years can become “Schutzengels” (Guardian Angels) who can take on a younger student to become their “Schild” (Shield) and help them improve. [Sidenote: the younger student herself is referred to as “Schild” even though that doesn’t make much sense to me. I feel like they wanted to go with “Kind” (Child) but that might’ve been confusing to English speakers?].

Yuyu has become a loner because she lost her Shutzengel in a fight and as her memories are fuzzy, she thinks she might’ve had something to do with it. Lilies have “Rare Skills” and Yuyu’s is called “Lunatic Trancer” where she becomes insanely powerful but also can’t differentiate between friend or foe and is thus seen as dangerous to be around on the battlefield.

This issue comes up twice in the anime for some reason, with the exact same conclusion as well. I think an entire season could’ve focused on Riri improving as a Lily, Yuyu getting herself in more and more risky situations as she uses her Lunatic Transfer during fights and then concluding with what the anime did; that Riri for some reason can “cancel out” Yuyu’s Lunatic Trancer state and then the 2 of them work together to take down a huge enemy. The season could’ve concluded with them making the Shutzengel/Schild pledge.

- Season 2

Lilies also create Legions which need to have at least 9 members. This anime also has an insane amount of supporting characters besides the Legion members so some of the characters we barely get to know. In season 1, while the main plot is going on we could’ve gotten close to certain side characters. As this is an in-between season, it could’ve been more low-stakes and relationship focused. Riri and Yuyu decide to create a Legion, we have the side characters from S01 join and meet more characters to create the 9 member Legion. These characters could’ve also been lacking in some areas so, training segments. Character improvement! Always better than being perfect from the start. Toward the end of the season could’ve been the introduction of what was supposed to be a huge character development arc for Riri: the meeting of a girl with amnesia who Riri takes care of and kind of becomes her “Shutzengel”, although unofficially.

<SPOILERS> - Season 3

The most depressing shit left for last. The afformentioned girl with amnesia comes to be called “Yuri” and turns out to be an experiment in creating artificial Lilies. The government thus wants her back and Riri runs off with Yuri. This whole debacle is simply solved through a 5 minute long scene where the character responsible for exposition dumps reveals that Yuri doesn’t have any Huge DNA and thus that makes her human aka under the protection of the academy. This is great but like 2 seconds later, Yuri runs up to a Huge that appeared out of nowhere and gets herself killed. This doesn’t have the effect the anime wanted. We’ve only known Yuri in the original anime for like 3 episodes. Her loss doesn’t feel as depressing as it should and thus sympathising with Riri’s sudden depression is harder as well.

So, the way I’d fix this, is to have the first half of the season more normal, with Yuri getting to be a part of the group. The second half of the seaosn would be the “depression/drama/conclusion” starting with Riri and Yuri running away. As Lilies fighting humans is a big ethical question in the anime, I’d want a stand-off that lasts longer with a Huge appearing in the middle of the whole thing. Lilies fighting humans on one side and the Huge on the other, leading to a struggle, where eventually Yuri decides that the only way to resolve this is for her to sacrifice herself. Cue Riri’s depressive phase and Yuyu’s hallucinations of her Shutzengel coming back. Their Legion’s atmosphere is also soured due to the loss of Yuri, the chance that they might need to find humans in the future because they disobeyed orders and their 2 leaders’s moods being in the dumps.

Cue big threat, Riri and Yuyu coming to an understanding and accepting what happened, ready to take on the “Final Boss” where they might even die in the process, their Legion and other classmates showing up in that dramatic “Hey, you guys weren’t planning on getting all the glory for yourselves right?” and pulling of an incredibly powerful move that wipes the Huge nest out. (If you watched the anime, you know this is kind of sort of what happens, I just cut out some stuff I felt was unnecessary.)

Well, anyway, now that I’ve finished daydreaming about what could’ve been, I’m still left with a badly written anime in the end. I mean, the art was there, the music was there, the set-up was there, the characters were there but the writing felt half-hearted, like whoever wrote it didn’t believe in the potential of “Assault Lily”. Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

EDIT: I just found out a mobile game called “Assault Lily: Last Bullet” was actually released so I was right about that.

[6/10] (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | There was actual money spent on this

#dusty reviews #Assault Lily: Bouquet #Assault Lily #Assault Lily Bouquet #why this so long

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galacticlamps · 3 years

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Tagged by @the--highlanders ! Thanks!

How many works do you have on AO3?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

76,200

(oh what a nice even number - I should try to mess that up as soon as possible, shouldn’t I?)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Aw man is this intentionally worded to be really hard to answer? I get that it says ‘written’ and not ‘posted’ but then what constitutes a ‘fandom?’ I definitely wrote fics for stuff I was interested in long before I even knew the word ‘fic’ - I did it throughout my childhood, and then in high school, and while I didn’t do it as much in college, it still happened from time to time. So a lot of the books/movies/tv shows/plays/musicals I wrote things for aren’t really fandoms, and frankly, I had to check my old folder just now to even remember some of them existed. I’ll just list the ones that I know for sure had fandoms, since that’s more fun (and embarrassing), right?

Obviously Doctor Who, classic and modern, Torchwood, Sherlock Holmes (ironically more of these seem to be about the books, but yes, I will admit, some for that tv show too), Les Mis, a couple different Marvel comics & movies, Good Omens, hell, I even found a Night Vale fic in there just now.

And I know there are other older things not even in that folder, some of which never made it to a computer at all, so if I had to ballpark a number I’d probably say around 25ish but really, who knows?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Across the Gap

On the Spot

Expectations

Shards of Memories & Fragments of Glass

Itemized

(this was fun, I’d never noticed Ao3 even had a stats page until now lol)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I take a long time to do so but for the most part, I usually get around to it. The rare exception would be if I first saw the comment when I was super busy/distracted and then felt like way too much time passed before I noticed it again, that it might be awkward if I said something at that point.

I do genuinely enjoy hearing what people think, but I’m also weirdly terrified of making anyone feel like they have to reply to my comments. I know that’s probably a little strange, but it’s actually a large part of why I made this Ao3 account in the first place - my original one, from high school, is followed by some long-time friends of mine who aren’t interested in this fandom, some of whom are involved in art & writing professionally. The thought of anyone like that reading something I wrote out of friendliness or even just curiosity and potentially having to pretend they liked it for the same reasons stressed me tf out, so I like having this virtually anonymous one because I can relax knowing that anyone who reads or interacts with something I wrote has probably done so only because they wanted to, rather than feeling obligated, and there’s no pressure on them to be nice to me about it if anything I write or post annoys them - so I really hope nobody who does just know me as an anonymous blog has ever worried about offending me by not replying to something, trust me, I’m perfectly happy with it!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think I’ve really written any angsty endings? I guess the answer would have to be Reckless just because it involves the characters arguing about sad/weighty things and there isn’t really any solution to those issues - but even then I think I ended it with a kind of acceptance that stops it from really qualifying as angst? I also set it in the the same universe as other fics, so maybe that doesn’t even count as an ending? Am I that bad at ending things on angst? Lol

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Obviously none of the fics I’ve posted are crossovers but I’m trying to think now if any of my WIP’s are - I’ve definitely poached setting/premise ideas from other media, but in terms of actual crossovers . . . I’ve got a few cross-era or cross-Doctor, a few involving Torchwood, but that’s already the same universe, so the only thing that’d qualify as a true crossover would be some vague pieces of a fic where Jamie, Zoe, and Two end up on the Enterprise, since I think the 60s series of Star Trek and Dr Who feel kind of compatible, don’t they? In fact, aren’t there like officially licensed crossover comics or something? Or did I make that up? Idk, and the ideas are very loose, so it’s not much of a WIP either

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, never

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I’ve never written smut, but I’m wondering if it’s possible that could change soon. There’s a longish multi-chapter fic I’ve been working on for a frankly embarrassing amount of time, and the plot does call for a sex scene at one point towards the end, but I can’t seem to make up my mind on how - uh, I guess the word is explicit? - it should get. I know I could easily do a fade to black/implication thing, but it’s kind of a source of contention and anxiety for the characters, so to skip over writing the actual scene and just revisit them afterwards rings of “and they slept together and now everything’s fine!” which feels kinda cheap to me - in this context, anyway - and not the right payoff for a long fic that’s otherwise more of an interpersonal drama/slightly a period piece, if I had to place it in a genre. I feel like my aversion to actually writing the scene might just be prudishness I should get over, or maybe just self-doubt, because I know I’d rather have a well-written, funny, character-development-supporting sex scene than nothing at all, but since I’ve never had any interest in writing a scene like that before, I don’t know if I can do it well, and I also don’t want to ruin a fic I’m otherwise proud of by doing it badly... ugh I have to figure this out

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I seriously doubt it

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean, it’s gotta be Two & Jamie. I’ve shipped things before with varying levels of investment, but I’ve never been able to use the term ‘otp’ in a literal sense until I came across them, and now it’s already basically gone out of fashion, go figure!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’m not sure if I have one? My WIP doc is huge, but I don’t actually intend to get around to finishing everything in it, so I’d like to think that anything I’ve currently singled out to complete can actually get done.

That said, I do have a few AU’s that I don’t really plan to finish, but it might be cool if I could. Two of them are for all the main + some supporting characters of the Second Doctor’s era - one’s a modern day school teachers AU, and the other is a typical fantasy/fairy tale AU. Another is just Two/Jamie, based on Doctor Faustus (specifically the Marlowe play version) but right now there are two different versions of the ending coexisting in my head. I’ve written parts of scenes & some gen. backstory for all of those ideas, but I don’t know if I’ll ever try to finish them, or what form a finished product would even take - a series of one-shots set in the same universe? one long multi-chapter fic with some kind of overarching plot? And the amount of context/worldbuilding a big AU like these would require might not make them very appealing fics for people to read, so maybe it is better if I just keep them to myself, since in my head I already know what’s going on in those worlds lol.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don’t know. I haven’t had a creative writing class since middle school, and since then I’ve only ever shown creative writing to others in a fandom context, so it’s been a while since I’ve discussed it or gotten critical feedback. I suppose when I work in other arts or even academic writing contexts, people usually say I’m kind of insightful or at least detail oriented, which might just be another way of saying I overthink things, but I like to imagine I’m decent at finding little points of interest to expand upon.

What are your writing weaknesses?

If you’ve read this far I feel like you must know what I’m about to say: I do not know how to be concise.

Usually when I’m writing a fic, I put down the dialogue first on its own, leaving out the action of the scene and whatever plot/context led there, even if I’ve already figured all of that out. But then when I go to add those things in, they’re always longer than I wanted them to be. I don’t mind writing something long, but I don’t want my fics to be a slog to get through either, and there can be a point at which the stuff I’ve added for context overwhelms the stuff that I wanted the fic to be about in the first place, so it becomes a structural/proportion issue too. I haven’t completely given up on any fics because of this yet, but there’s one I’ve been struggling with for a couple months now - probably because I’m even second-guessing myself on which scenes need to be written out and which can just be referenced like a recap. Hopefully I figure that one out soon.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

((this is karma isn’t it? i posted a fic last week with two words of gaelic in it and was worried about that and now this is karma))

In general, I don’t want to do it. I feel like you’ve gotta have a really good grasp of a language to write dialogue & speech patterns for someone who’s a native speaker, and since I’m far from fluent in any language the characters I write for are, I wouldn’t feel confident writing any significant amount of dialogue in, say, Gaelic.

As a sidenote, though, I kinda love it when other people do it, particularly for Jamie. Irish (Gaeilge) and Scottish (Gàidhlig) are both languages I’ve wanted to learn for a long time, because my family’s fresh out of living speakers of either & I think that’s a shame, but I started with Irish and at the moment I’m still very much learning it. As different as they are, it still helps me understand parts of lyrics or texts that I come across in Gàidhlig fairly frequently, so when it comes up in a fic I get to feel like I’m being responsible and practicing, and it’s great when I can actually understand what’s being said.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m gonna go with Harry Potter even though that’s probably not a perfectly accurate answer - it’s almost certainly the first thing that has a fandom that I ever wrote for, but it was in a notebook when I was a kid and never something that I even typed on a computer, much less posted online or shared with other members of a fandom. But even then, I’m sure it wasn’t the first pre-existing fictional universe I ever set an original story in, because I did that a lot when I was a kid, it’s just hard to remember those clearly or on any kind of timeline.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I’m very partial to Across the Gap, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that ranked first on the kudos thing above - but I’ve also got a soft spot for So Merrily We’ll Sing. It’s so self-indulgent it feels silly saying ‘it was so easy to write!’ but I guess having a fic that’s already just 100% headcaonons and fluff tied together by a song you really love does prevent it from being much of a labor (I also managed to refrain from making that one unnecessarily long, so that’s another win there)

tagging @terryfphanatics and anyone else who wants to do it - sorry I’m bad at remembering whose tumblr goes with whose Ao3 account, but I really would be interested to read this if anyone else feels like answering them!

#oh boy that was long #sorry #also sorry if the 13 is really big for some reason #i dont know how it got that way so i dont know how to change it #it doesnt look like that when i edit the post only when i save it #not fic but fic talk

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maya-of-lesbos · 4 years

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Hey so I was watching this video essay on spoilers and the patterns of storytelling by Quadro Em Branco and the narrator gives a really neat and easy to understand critique of the culture surrounding spoilers in capitalism and media analysis. Since the video is in portuguese with no subs but I thought it was pretty interesting, I’ve transcribed and translated that part of the video here. If that sounds like something you’d want to read:

“ I have my issues with the current ‘spoiler culture’. If you are some sort of content creator you probably know even better how this has impregnated our media consumption, but in any area of the social sphere we can see this happening: “give spoiler warnings” “don’t tell me what happens” “I don’t want to know anything about it”.

Personally I’ve always been the kind of person who wants to know what happens, I ended up watching more things for knowing how they ended than by not knowing. But what I always found bizarre was the totally subjective selectivity around what a spoiler is.

It’s funny how telling any micro-thing that happens in the plot of a film is a total crime, but everyone accepts without qualms the little packet of 1 to 2 minutes of spoilers that is the trailer. Really. A trailer is nothing more than a compilation of spoilers minimally selected to tell you enough of what happens for you to want to watch it but not enough for you to not want to watch it. How efficient this method is, well, it’s totally subjective. What is a trailer which gives “too much” if the role of the trailer is exactly that: telling us things that we don’t need to know to watch the film.

Now, theoretically we would never need to know anything but it would be silly of us to think the industry cares about that. There is a well thought out project behind this culture. By creating the widespread idea that you can tell a little but never the ‘essential’, the industry traps us in a sort of scooby-doo episode, where as much instigating information as possible will be on what people are saying but everyone will still have to go all the way to the end to find out what really happens. The end here of course being paying to go to the cinema, or to stay hours in streaming services waiting for the conclusion of a series. You are only part of the clique of interesting people if you know about the thing no one can talk about, in an alienating system of consumption that is very literal and not at all constructive for a culture that is in every sense, collective. [sidenote, this relates to the marketing technique of FOMO]

Because, in general, many things are still acceptable. The genre, for example, rarely is an issue. If the film is horror, cool you can say it’s horror, but obviously discussing what makes that film horror is not as interesting as finding out what the monster in the end of the film is. And that part we wouldn’t even be able to talk about anyway, because talking about the end of the film is a spoiler. That in turn creates a norm of recommendatory reviews of media, that basically ground themselves in a tangential manner to the subject of the film, and recommend as if it were a theme park or a grilled beef what is and isn’t worth consuming. And still, people would probably have more to talk about the damn beef.

“It’s worth watching” “it has a lot of social commentary” “a lot of philosophy” These observations are so lacking in objectivity that they are worth nothing in the end, but through what little subjectivity they have – like for example it being a horror film with a lot of social commentary – should be more important than who-killed-who. These details by themselves are nothing if not spoilers: knowing what sort of film that is, is already more than knowing nothing.

In the end we always circle back to the affirmation: “Either everything is a spoiler, or nothing is a spoiler”, nothing in between makes sense and still we’ll see attempts of justifications for where we can draw the line that separates a spoiler from a non-spoiler. Justifications which are completely subjective. The word [spoiler], by itself, means nothing but still it will prompt a series of comments complaining that you talked about the film, in a video about the film.

Oh, but it’s because I said who dies, and should’ve stopped at the fact that people die, and the film has people, so you never know... That way I would not “ruin anyone’s experience”. You have no idea how much I loathe this expression. My friends, if knowing the end of a film automatically invalidates the experience of watching it then I have to tell you: that film is simply not good. Or at least very limited.

Cinema, or literature, or comics are not forms of media that limit themselves to what is happening, the how is important. Not the ‘thing’ but how that thing is presented; feelings that I would risk saying are unique to each individual. I will hate it when this seeps into music and people start saying “don’t tell me at which minute starts the guitar solo, don’t give me album spoilers”.

We should watch and read more like we listen to music. Because for every person who’s someone who doesn’t even watch the trailer and doesn’t want any information because anything can affect their experience, ok that’s an individual decision of yours and I agree that yes it does affect it but then, anything that happens during your day, your cultural baggage, everything affects that experience. If you almost got in a car crash on your way to the cinema, a car chase in the film might be a lot more intense for you. Damn traffic giving spoilers. That is, of course, a joke but my point is exactly how alienating this bubble of protection surrounding spoilers is. It alienates the audience and it alienates the social function that art should have as something transformative.

Of course it's still silly to spoil anything just for the sake of spoiling it, but that is not what I’m trying to incentivise here. I am trying to increase the range of possibilities when talking about media, plus the understanding that any conversation about it does not reduce, but increases that range of possibilities. It is constructive to talk about a film, regardless of if you watched it or not. And if with the intention to build a line of thought, root an idea, a spoiler slips then you can’t even say it really slipped, it’s there with another function and when you do watch it you’ll still experience it through your eyes and the other countless influences coming from everywhere around you. “

#fandom #film tag #sorry if something doesn't make sense I kind of just hastily translated it #but anyway their channel is really good and some of the videos have english subs so if you're interested in media analysis from a lefty #perspective then check it out

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transbionic-shieldmaiden · 4 years

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a really long post about my stupid HRT adventure

cw medical stuff, tumors.

context: there was a post about getting on HRT that I read but I decided this was too personal to go in a reblog. donut rebagel, but feel free to reply.

ohhhh man, so like obviously i’m glad other people have had a better time than I when it comes to getting on hrt but i really gotta rant about the issues i had, because I had a hell of a time getting it DESPITE NOT ACTUALLY RUNNING INTO GATEKEEPING. so, story time:

this got long, so have a read more.

So I have executive dysfunction, which I cannot recommend. For me at least it comes in a package deal with a bunch of plasticbrains things I’m very much a fan of (stims! hyperfocus! being trans!), but I’d still very much like to not deal with it. And I also have social anxiety. Which overall is not a great combination of issues for dealing with the medical system.

Case in point: figuring out I’m trans was the catalyst for getting me to actually seek therapy (at MIT medical, which -- sidenote -- is free for students and I can’t recommend them highly enough), but what this actually meant was I took basically an entire semester to make the phone call to get an appointment, which was scheduled for a month after the call*. So far so great.

Anyway, as my therapy continued I kept coming in and complaining about dysphoria and being like “man i wish i could start hrt! but i won’t, because that involves talking to strangers :(” and eventually my therapist was like “so like. regular medical, which can prescribe hrt, is literally one floor below us. i can walk you down and schedule an appointment right now.”

and i was like “uhhhh wait i didn’t actually want my problem solved that means i have to talk to strangers!!!” but like obviously this was the social anxiety talking because i did actually want hrt. so my therapist walked me down to medical and i scheduled an appointment with the one Trans Doctor (tee-em) at MIT medical (like seriously this woman is as far as I can tell the PCP for like half of MIT’s trans population, we stan).

so the way this worked out is I needed three appointments: one intake appointment which was largely informational, one appointment with a physical checkup and a blood draw, and finally an appointment once the blood draw results came in. So I went in to the firs appointment, scheduled the second once it was done, and then MIT medical stole my blood.

And when that appointment was done I...didn’t schedule the third.

Cue several months passing due to executive dysfunction and social anxiety.

So I finally get myself together enough to schedule the last appointment, and I go in...and it turns out I have abnormally low testosterone. And I was all ready to be like “Oh no...isn’t that a shame...how terrible...” but the problem is, low testosterone in conjunction with my other blood metrics...was possibly a sign of a brain tumor.

That sounds worse than it actually is -- the brain tumor in question would’ve been benign, so it wouldn’t have been cancer. It does occasionally lead to blindness however, and low testosterone from said tumor would obviously not be very visible once I was taking spironolactone. So we needed to make sure I didn’t have a tumor before we could proceed with HRT. I was sent to take another blood test, optimized for the time of day when testosterone levels peak, and was therefore in the strange situation of being a trans woman hoping for high testosterone levels on a blood test.

Alas, it seems I was truly too trans for my own good, for it turns out the second test was even lower than the first.

This meant I had to go in for another blood test, and I had to get an MRI. And of course remember that every appointment I make here means 3-5 weeks depending on scheduling, all while I’m engaging in the standard MIT pastime of drowning in psets. Which is not fun when you’re depressed from dysphoria, let me tell you.

The MRI rolls around and it’s in this area of the Boston metro area Where The T Dares Not Go. There’s a bus stop near the clinic, but I have only been on an MBTA bus once and I really didn’t want to miss my appointment. So I hop in a lyft and soon it’s time for me to go in the Big Science Tube.

So here’s the thing about the Big Science Tube. It’s loud, it’s cramped, and in my case at least you get pumped with Contrast Juice which like goes in your brain or something? idk i’m not an MRI tech. I actually found it to be a not entirely unpleasant experience, because it sort of feels like you’re in a cryosleep chamber or something and I’m a huge nerd. But it’s also...massively disorienting. You can’t move, your vision is limited to the inside surface of a white cylinder, the whole thing is making Noise and vibrating, there’s the Contrast Juice sloshing in your brain...Oh, and at least in my case they let me listen to satellite radio while i was vibing in the science tube. Thing is, I don’t generally like radio music, since I tend to like individual songs more than genres, so I picked the jazz station. I figured this would ensure fairly enjoyable music the whole time, instead of a weird roller-coaster of songs I like, songs I hate, and songs I haven’t heard (the vast majority).

While I stand by this analysis in general, I do not recommend jazz as the soundtrack to the big science tube.

All this is to say that by the time I got out, I was extremely out of it and loopy. Oh, I also forgot to mention: I did not sleep well the night before. My sleep schedule is a mess at the best of times, and I was very nervous. So I am...completely off the shits by this point, not to mention extremely hungry and thirsty. They tell you to drink a lot to flush the Contrast Juice from your system, so that works out OK. In theory.

I get out, stand by the bus station for a bit, and conclude the bus isn’t coming. I walk across the street to a McDonalds, figuring I could really use some food and liquid. Which was correct.

...Except the bus came and went while I was in there, and looking at the schedule on my phone revealed I’d have to wait another half an hour for another.

This is where I make a terrible mistake. I look at my map, see that Harvard...isn’t too far from where I am, and Harvard has a T station! Perfect! So I, completely loopy from the MRI, still dehydrated because I haven’t gotten nearly enough liquids from McDonalds, decide to WALK TO HARVARD. It was a 30 minute walk, through unfamiliar territory, and I cannot stress this enough: I. Was. Off. The. Shits.

So I walk to Harvard using my phone’s GPS and whatever brain cells were not full of Contrast Juice, somehow managing to navigate through this random neighborhood and over the bridge without getting too lost or getting hit by a car. As I reach Harvard, I realize that this is a bad place for me to be in my current mental state: it’s bustling, full of standard college craziness; i think there was a guy in a chocolate bar costume which I could not process at the time. Oh, and I’ve never been to the Harvard T station so in my condition I struggle to find it. And when I do get there...well, here’s the thing about the Harvard T station: It’s huge. There’s several floors of underground bus terminals and an absolute warren of tunnels. Perfectly navigable, if you’re sober or know the area.

I am of course none of these things.

Still, somehow I find my way to the train, but that wasn’t even the end of my problems! Because, you see, my dorm is twenty minutes from the nearest T stop! So even once I get back to MIT I still have lots of walking to do. I don’t remember how I got back at that point; I think it involved a lot of drinking fountains.

Anyway, I guess this was supposed to be about me getting HRT? So it takes a while for the MRI results to get back, but it turns out I don’t have a tumor. However, in the meantime my parents have been pushing for me to freeze some sperm cells, so that I can have kids someday. Here’s the thing: I do not want kids. I do not expect to ever want kids. And if that changes, I’d be quite happy to adopt kids. But my parents are offering to pay for it, and the risk-averse part of my brain is like “oh...maybe i should do it...just in case???”

It takes me a month to actually call a fertility clinic. In the meantime, I am struggling in my classes; dysphoria is not conducive to educational success. It was not a good time to be me, let’s just put it that way. Finally, I make the call, and uhhhh it turns out sperm freezing is really expensive? And you have to go in for an intake appointment...then do some tests...and then...

So at this point I say, fuck it! And I get on HRT the next week. In total it took me like...a year to get on HRT, depending on how you count it? And all this without anyone actually gatekeeping me on being an Invalid Trans or whatever. But it’s all good, because now I’m far happier and more together than I ever thought I can be. The moral of this story is: HRT good, executive dysfunction bad, and don’t wander through Harvard while completely off the shits from MRI aftereffects.

*this is the one issue with MIT medical; their services are great but also in high demand. the system is a bit better once you actually get into it though.

#genderfeels #trainsbionic-shieldmaiden #plasticbrains #personal #donut rebagel #medical cw #tumors cw #the word of the shieldmaiden

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im-not-samantha-im-samanta · 2 years

Text

{The Legion adopting a teen survivor}

____________________________________________

A few words from author: Hi there, friends! Welcome to my first imagines! ^^

Truth be told, writing this took me much longer than writing a fic and at one point I did want to give up on ever writing Imagines - But I pushed through at last, and I'm quite thrilled to be sharing these with y'all! ^^

I personally love platonic content with DBD killers&Slashers, especially where the reader gets adopted by em - I got issues, okay? (^▽^;⁠).

However, there's not much of that sort of content on here, so here I am to fix that~ ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

Settings: Platonic! (Platonic! Platonic! ONLY platonic!)

Genre: Just some big, light-hearted fluff♡

!TRIGGER WARNING!: Swear words used here and there, just some teeny tiny mentions of the other survivors being mean, mentions of food and its consumption, light mentions of periods for AFAB readers (don't worry, if you're AMAB, just skip thru! The rest is for everyone!), and mentions of typical DBD stuff! That should be all!

Sidenote: Age of Reader isn't specified, but it's set around 12!

Sidenote: Also, this is written for all readers, but if reader description might be leaning into more feminine sense, then it's really unintentional and I genuinely apologize!

And that should be all, bunny-boos! Feel free to read the Imagines now!

Really hope you'll enjoy reading these as much as I enjoyed writing them! ^^ <3

____________________________________________

✧*。After Susie finds you all on your own outside the survivor camp in tears because the other survivors aren't exactly happy about having to take care of a kid, she doesn't hesitate one bit and takes you back to The Legion's lodge with her.

✧*。Surprisingly enough, it doesn't take that long for the rest of The Legion members to give into Susie's pleading and puppy dog eyes, and they accept you into their family.

✧*。Aside from Susie who's in for it right off the bat, the others take a while to warm up to their new found role of caregivers, especially Frank.

✧*。However, once they've grown comfortable with posing as older siblings it's like they all were made for that role <3.

✧*。Now, Susie - she's the sweetest, a total guardian angel! Always making sure you're doing well.

✧*。The two of you are constantly found together, especially at the beginning before you build up the courage to approach the others.

✧*。So, at the very beginning everyone knows that wherever they see Susie, they should also expect to see you wobbling close behind.

✧*。Susie definitely doesn't mind that you're kind of clinging to her at first, if anything then it's the opposite! She totally adores you!

✧*。She's constantly cooing over you, babying you, squeezing you, pinching your cheeks and just simply showering you in 24/7 affection (If you tell her you didn't receive affection back home, she's gonna give you 10x more affection) - she low key obsessed, okay?

✧*。Also, supportive to no extent. Susie's your #1 fan in everything you do and even if she might not understand something you're passionate about, she's still gonna be enthusiastic and supportive! <3

✧*。Though a little warning, Susie still holds some childish naivety and she often can't see the harm in things, which means she'll support even the absolute worst of ideas...

✧*。"Oh?? What you saying, Y/N?? You wanna pierce your tongue?? Awesome!! Hold on!! I saw a rusty old needle somewhere in here we could use!!"

✧*。Luckily, there's always one of the other Legion members to stop you two before any real harm is done. Tho not Joey, he's not as childishly naive, but my man is impulsive and very often found supporting whatever dumbass shenanigans ya two came up with </3.

✧*。Susie will also love to give you a makeover if you're up for it! She is really into dark, alternative kind of make-up, but is quite skilled in make-up of any aesthetic, so if you're into anything specific, just ask.

✧*。But don't worry, if you're not into wearing make-up, she also loves giving hair makeovers! She'll dye your hair whatever colour you'd like in a heartbeat (if she doesn't have that specific hair dye, she'll go on a hunt or ask The Entity), will give you a whatever haircut you desire no questions asked, will style your hair in anything specific you want - she'll simply do with your hair anything you desire.

✧*。If you don't have hair and/or wear wigs, she'll try to get her hands on some neat wigs for you if you'd like! And if she can't get a wig from The Entity, there sure are some alternative ways... (Let's say, a forced donation from your fellow survivors...<3).

✧*。Also, now that Susie's officially not the youngest Legion member anymore she can give you the special treatment that was usually reserved just for her before: She gonna call you affectionate petnames!! <3

✧*。Honey, Baby, Sweetie, Muffin, Pumpkin, and many more petnames daily replace your name, and you might as well sometimes be wondering if she even remembers your actual name anymore with how often she uses these with you.

✧*。Susie also always makes sure you're not feeling left out!

✧*。She includes you in everything her and the other Legion members are up to, especially at the beginning of your stay with them because she wants you to know that you actually are a part of their family and not some dirty stay animal they all gotta somehow tolerate just because they can't say 'no' to Susie.

✧*。And the last thing that definitely needs to be mentioned with Susie is that the two of you are quite often followed around by Julie because she insists that the two of you are dumb as hell and shouldn't be left unsupervised.

✧*。She means well though! You two are her precious babies, she worried about you <3.

✧*。Now for Joey - he was made to be a big brother! He's so wholesome and so fun to be around!

✧*。Though a little awkward and hesitant at first, Joey was quick to bond with you and now you are an inseparable duo <3.

✧*。And the two of you have so many inside jokes that it has the others (Frank) going mad <3.

✧*。Now, unlike Susie, Joey actually is trusted to hang out with you on his own, but he's on thin fucking line...

✧*。 Because you know how I've mentioned before that he's real impulsive and he's very often found supporting dumb and dangerous ideas you and Susie come up with? Yeah, well... he's capable of more than that...

✧*。He's very much capable of coming up with bad ideas on his own!

✧*。He's proven that that one time he thought that teaching you how to do a backflip on the roof of their lodge was just the best possible idea for how to spend the afternoon...

✧*。 He's been on Julie's and Frank's watchlist ever since </3...

✧*。However, in all seriousness, hanging out with Joey is probably one of the best experiences you can get.

✧*。Joey is fine with doing anything you want no matter how silly it could be for other people, Joey doesn't judge and you can count him in in whatever activity will make you happy! <3

✧*。You wanna have a tea party? Hell yeah, let's do this! You wanna play videogames? Absolutely! You wanna watch the crappiest shows on TV and make fun of them? Yes, please! You wanna ramble and infodump about your interests? Go on, he's all ears!

✧*。There's really not a single activity this guy'd say no to! Especially when it's you asking <3.

✧*。And even if Joey is rather an outdoor person, he doesn't mind if you'd prefer to stay inside <3.

✧*。Speaking of Joey liking to be outside, Joey's #1 activity of all the time is exploring places and trinket hunting. So, if he's got the opportunity, he's taking you with to do exactly that!

✧*。But like I've said, there's no need to worry, if you really aren't an outdoors person, Joey will never force you and will settle with whatever activity you pick.

✧*。And speaking of trinket hunting, whenever Joey's out exploring, he always and I mean always comes back with something neat he's found and thought you might like <3.

✧*。And if you ask him to search for something specific like a chocolate bar, a book or literally anything else, he will search and in most cases will end up finding the exact thing you asked for.

✧*。Also, Joey's a physical guy, so similarly to Susie's case, you're getting tons and tons of physical affection!

✧*。Throughout the day you get a head pat here, a playful punch to the shoulder there, you get your hair ruffled up (as long as you're comfortable with it), and of course hugs! Lots of hugs! Cuz ma man gives the best hugs ever TwT.

✧*。Seriously, a hug from Joey fixes everything <3.

✧*。And this is also one of the reasons why Joey's the one comforting you the most.

✧*。Joey will hug you warmly until your sorrows go away. And If his hugs don't help, he will listen to what troubles you for no matter how long without judgement and though he might not always have an advice to share, he'll try his hardest to help out <3.

✧*。Alright, onto your third big sibling - Julie!

✧*。Julie is the mama of the group, and I take no criticism for that.

✧*。Julie wasn't really that quick to open up and accept you as a part of their little family, but that's just how Julie is and it's nothing personal.

✧*。 However, she was actually the first one to give into Susie's pleas to keep you.

✧*。(to which Frank threw a hissy fit about Julie playing favourites and always allowing Susie everything - Okay I'm exaggerating but... kinda am not...).

✧*。Now, the beginnings with Julie were kind of tough - Julie was very distant, and though she did interact with you here and there, the interactions felt forced.

✧*。But with how much time Julie spent keeping an eye on you and Susie, she grew comfortable with you much faster than Frank.

✧*。And once you've won Julie over, there's no going back - you're her child now and she ain't giving you to nobody, no, no, no, hands off!

✧*。Julie now treats you similarly to how she treats Susie - she's really gentle and caring with you, and one might tease her and say she's grown soft.

✧*。BUT! That assumption couldn't be further from the truth!

✧*。Because sure, Julie may seem like she's no longer as tough when she's with you or Susie (and occasionally Frank and Joey), but everything changes the moment somebody tries to cause harm to someone she cares about.

✧*。Then she goes mama bear mode, and boy is she merciless...

✧*。And since you're a part of Julie's family, the statement listed above applies to you too <3.

✧*。Now, going back to my statement about Julie being the mama of the group, Julie is the one who takes care of cooking and caring for injuries.

✧*。So, when you've got an injury, Julie is there for the rescue!

✧*。No matter if big or small, Julie gives it her best when treating an injury, and though she may scold you for not being careful enough and have a frown on her face, she is gentle when handling the injury.

✧*。And very often, after Julie is done scolding you and treating your injury, she sighs as her expression softens up and she gently says either something like a reminder to be more careful or she says something mean (but affectionately) like how you're a klutz and such. And no, there's nothing in between <3.

✧*。And if your injury's been really bad, she'll even softly kiss your forehead and affectionately pat your shoulder <3.

✧*。Now, Julie isn't really the most openly affectionate person, and despite being quite soft with you, it can be hard to always believe she cares.

✧*。However! Julie has her ways of showing she cares, and one of them is through cooking!

✧*。Julie is quite a good cook, hence why she's in charge of making meals for the Legion.

✧*。And Julie's skill in cooking comes in handy especially when you're having a rough day!

✧*。Julie isn't much for comforting as she feels real awkward doing so, but she's a great listener! So, very often when you're having a tough time, she'll have you cook or bake with her.

✧*。Julie knows cooking or baking can help you take your mind off things (that's a fact! I often bake when in a gloomy mood and it helps!) and that's why she has you partake in this activity.

✧*。And doesn't matter if you'll open up about the issue or not, it's guaranteed this activity will make you feel better. But if you feel like talking or ranting, she'll listen to you intently until it's all off your chest <3.

✧*。And speaking of going through a tough time, while Joey is the best at comforting, Julie is your to-go person when you've got a problem and/or you're in need of an advice.

✧*。Julie is quite wise and she's got some really good advices for all sorts of problems whether it's a simple or more complex problem.

✧*。And if your problem requires an action rather than an advice - for example if the other survivors are bullying you - then you bet she's taking action without the slightest bit of hesitation. She gonna go mama bear mode ᕦ⁠ʕ ✩ᴥ✩⁠ʔ⁠ᕤ.

✧*。Also, though Julie isn't very strict or anything, she does have some ground rules with you - though, there's not like a list of them or anything!

✧*。Basically, Julie has those kinds of rules that go without saying. Brush your teeth in the morning, don't eat sweets before dinner, you know, these kinds of stuff.

✧*。And she also expects you to do what she tells you - or more like reminds you - to do, like when she tells you to clean your room and such.

✧*。But again, she doesn't really dwell on having you follow her every command, and she does let things slide quite often.

✧*。She doesn't like shield you from everything nonstop, and she lets you make your own decisions, and if that decision happens to be poor, Julie simply waits for you to learn from it because she sees is as a "No action goes without a consequence " kinda lesson.

✧*。All in all, Julie is responsible but very chill ^^.

✧*。And now onto what y'all surely been waiting for - we gonna talk bout Frank!

✧*。Now, Frank...

✧*。As you've probably guessed by now, Frank was the one whom it took the longest to warm up to you.

✧*。Frank didn't like you at the beginning... or he at least tried to make it seem like he didn't.

✧*。Because pretending to hate you was much easier than admitting that he was actually scared you were gonna replace him.

✧*。You see, Frank grew up being unwanted. No family ever kept him around and no friends cared enough to stay in touch.

✧*。He always had his hopes up when a new family took him in, only to have all of his hopes crushed and be sent away after a while.

✧*。And after this scenario repeated over and over again, Frank gave up on finding a place to where he'd belong and became the gruff and closed off person he is today.

✧*。And this is why his friends are important to him, because they're the only people who ever wanted him around and who genuinely cared about him.

✧*。And so, when you came around and stole all the attention, Frank started to fear that you're gonna replace him and steal his friends - his family - from him.

✧*。Though, Frank didn't really try to get rid of you nor did he treat you poorly - like he most probably would if he really did hate you.

✧*。 Instead he avoided you and tried to completely ignore your existence, which still kind of hurt...

✧*。But the other Legion members caught on quick, and went on to talk with Frank about the whole thing (mostly Julie did).

✧*。And after lots and lots of reassurance, Frank realized that the two of you really weren't competing for his friends' love nor the place in the group.

✧*。Not only that, but he also realized that you were similar to him - you were alone, and you were just looking for a place where you'd feel safe and wanted.

✧*。He realized you were looking for a home and a family just like he had been for years.

✧*。And after that, Frank's decided that his family would now be your family too, and he'd be the best eldest sibling you could ever have <3.

✧*。Now, believe it or not, but Frank is taking his role of a big brother very seriously and responsibly! Shocking, right?!(⁠๑°⌓°!!๑)

✧*。Like, one would think that Frank would be a real shitty and very irresponsible role model, but he's actually not! :0

✧*。He's genuinely trying to be that kind of person he needed when he was your age ;w;.

✧*。Though, he might be overdoing some things sometimes without really realizing it - but it's honestly sweet, considering it's Frank we're talking about ^^".

✧*。Frank's simply trying to give you everything he himself didn't have growing up <3.

✧*。Now, speaking of which, Frank's growing up phase was really difficult, he had to figure out everything by himself and always depend on himself.

✧*。And he wants the exact opposite for you, and so, he teaches you everything he deems important and makes sure you can rely on him!

✧*。And though Frank is a high school dropout, he's actually really wise and has a lot of knowledge of how the world works!

✧*。So, he's got stuff to teach you about for sure! Yet still, most things Frank teaches you are practical and often focused on survival.

✧*。Some of the things he teaches you are, for example: self defense, how to handle a knife, or some survival tips as what to do when you get lost and such.

✧*。But don't worry, he plans on teaching you general stuff too, especially those kinds of stuff you ask your parents about when you're slowly becoming an adult.

✧*。For example, if you're gonna start growing facial hair, he's gonna teach you how to shave, or if you're gonna get period he's the one explaining it - No, I'm not kidding about the period one!

✧*。(Susie is too embarrassed and Julie feels too awkward about it, so, if you're ever supposed to be getting period, Frank's explaining it cuz he literally doesn't see why he should be grossed out or have a problem with it!)

✧*。Now, about overdoing things - what Frank overdoes the most is how much he's protecting you.

✧*。While Julie doesn't really try to shelter you and lets you learn from your mistakes, Frank's nearly losing his mind when there's a possibility of you getting hurt.

✧*。Like, if you're going out, you gotta tell him where you're going and actually even gotta ask him if you can go out! Even the others gotta let him know when they're taking you outdoors or else he's gonna flip!

✧*。And there was actually that one incident when Joey and Susie took you outdoors when it was snowing because they wanted to build a snowman with you, BUT they forgot to give you a jacket (since they themselves walk around in just hoodies)!

✧*。Lemme tell you- Frank nearly lost his shit when he found out!

✧*。And let's just say Joey and Susie been making sure you always have a jacket or a coat on when going outdoors ever since...

✧*。Also Frank's even went to threaten talk to the other killers and warn them that you're an honourable member of the Legion and they better not even think about hurting you.

✧*。I mean, Frank would probably lose a fight with most of the killers, but it's the thought that counts, right?

✧*。Luckily, the other killers have no problem with you being around, some of them pay you no mind as long as you don't bother them (like Evan or Michael) and some of them are thrilled to have a kid around (like Anna, Bubba or Danny).

✧*。So, you're pretty much safe <3.

✧*。Another thing to mention is that you can talk to Frank about anything - he may not seem like it, but he's really chill and open minded.

✧*。Frank never really had anyone to talk to growing up, so he wants for you to know you can always talk to him if there's something on your mind <3.

✧*。Whether it's something serious you want to discuss, or just something you just wanna share, Frank's always there to hear you out and assure you that you matter.

✧*。This comes in handy especially if you're feeling insecure and/or are having irrational thoughts!

✧*。Although, Frank may not give as good advices as Julie, his level-headed attitude and opinions can help you rationalize and collect your thoughts.

✧*。He usually just gives you more logical view of whatever is bothering you and helps you think about it more rationally.

✧*。Like for example if you feel like you can't be yourself because then people won't like you, he'd ask you things like "and why would you even want to be liked by people who can't accept you for you?" and such.

✧*。And speaking of people liking you, if there'll ever be the chance of you getting a love interest in the entity's realm, you bet Frank's gonna pull some shit like: "No, Y/N, you ain't dating nobody until you're 18".

✧*。And if your love interest returns your feelings, Frank's the one giving them the talk.

✧*。And he might or might not try to sabotage - he means well though, he's just scared of you getting your heart broken <3.

✧*。And if that's to happen, oh boy... shit gonna get real...

✧*。All in all, the whole Legion got your back in any situation, and they're the best big siblings you could've ever asked for <3.

✧*。They all adore you, and they aren't giving you to nobody. You're their little sibling. You're a part of their family. You're a part of their Legion. You're theirs <3.

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strongbeautifulfulloflight · 4 years

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1, 3, 4, 8, 10,

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Well, I’ve got Better Late Than Never, Double Crossed, and my novel series that are the big three focuses right now.

BLTN is an AU/AH Klaroline fic where five-year-old Henrik kind of plays matchmaker, and then becomes kind of about the battle for custody of him between the brothers Mikaelson and their criminal parents. Meanwhile it’s also about Klaus letting down his boundaries to love Caroline, and her getting past her history of abuses to love him back. I think, actually, he’s the one being more open to letting himself love her in this fic and that’s a really fun and interesting angle to write from. Most of the time it’s about Caroline fighting to get him to accept his love for her so this has been different for me. Also writing fluff instead of angst has been a big shift.

Double Crossed is the third installment in the fic series in which I basically rewrite canon from the point of...oh god, was it season three? I believe it’s post Dangerous Liasons. I sent Caroline off to Italy with the Originals, where she forms a bond with them all, but then there’s drama when Bonnie gets kidnapped, Klaus’ bio dad comes into play, along with a super powerful OC witch who hexes Klaus. It’s unintentionally a super slow burn but I happen to like it that way. I think the thing I love most about this one is that it’s basically become my headcanon for the what if scenario. It’s also probably some of my best Kalijah!

Annnnnd then there’s my novel series. For reasons beyond rationality I’m not going to go into detail about it, really. It’s an ensemble series with characters trying to make it in all areas of the art world - art museum, art business affairs, actress, writer, photographer (possible fashion or musician characters coming into play later too) and it’s based in NYC. There’s drama, scandal, romance, and the big underlying theme is the flaw of humanity, how we’re our own worst enemies, and how we can pick ourselves back up from the mistakes we’ve made. It’s my baby and very few have seen any part of it, but it’s sentences away from being finished and ready to start editing so stay tuned!! [Sidenote: I used this for a pitch project in my screenwriting class and the producer who heard it said it sounded like Grey’s Anatomy in the art world. ;) Talk about ego boost!]

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Like 99% of my fic/drabble ideas? xD This is usually me with smut scenes, if I’m being honest. I love to write foreplay, banter, all the build up. But when it comes down to the brass tacks of it all, I’m like eh.

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like).

Let’s see if I can find one from each...

“She seemed almost ethereal in her sleep, every feature of her face that had been hardened by the travails of her life now softened. Except for her lips. They were still that same plump pout that weakened warriors and beguiled thinkers. He was damned for eternity to the mercy of those lips.“ - Double Crossed

I will forever be proud of and in love with this line. I don’t know where it came from but it just came out so beautifully, and really encapsulates how besotted Elijah is.

“Tatia had issues. So did Klaus." She looked down, her finger tapping her knee. "Nobody blames Klaus for her death." Her finger stopped but she didn't look up. "But it's not like he took her keys away from her either.” - Katherine, Better Late Than Never.

There are a lot of lines in BLTN that I love, but the thing I like about this one was that it gave me actual shivers when I wrote it. There’s a bitter anger in her voice, a certain shock value from the admission that kind of takes your breath away. Especially considering at this point, the entire story of Klaus and Tatia’s relationship is still relatively unknown.

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Yes and no. I like to read realistic fiction, drama, fantasy, historical fiction, romance, medieval, some YA. I think I mostly write in the realistic/YA dramatic genre(s). I also don’t like to write smut as much as I like to read it.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

Methodically disorganized. I don’t follow proper outlining processes. I generally get hit with an idea for a scene or conversation and build around that. Eventually I do have to sit down and organize everything because it gets a little overwhelming, but there’s always a method to the madness. I’ve always told my readers that I never do anything in my writing without a reason, it’s never sheer shock value or guessing games with my writing. I also research the hell out of the tiniest minuscule details to retain authenticity. It’s one thing that I’m a big stickler about.

Send me fun meta questions about my writing!

#this was fun!#ask games #writing #my writing #klaroline #kalijah #anon #Anonymous

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aadhiskanmani · 5 years

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I am back with Part 2 as promised earlier also because it was bugging me that i have left it incomplete the other day. The formatting is going to remain exactly the same way.. am just saving myself some extra text clutter , time and typing/copy paste this time round LOL.

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS COMPLETELY MY OPINION ABOUT THE FOLLOWING FEATURES. I feel the need to say this again because last time too i got a message but x,y,z film has x,y,z issues . I've said it before and i will say it again It is all a mixed Bag, Mixed Genres, Mixed reasons to suggest them right from the quality to acting to cinematography to story to critical acclaim to some just for PURE ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. I makes these lists because I feel these features deserve love and appreciation and because some made me feel Proud and some just for pure entertainment factor . Sidenote.. all titles are actual links where you can watch the features with subs and most of these are On prime video or netflix as well

K.G.F: Chapter 1 |Kannada| *Yash | alt Link A young man's promise to his dying mother leads him on a dangerous quest for power and wealth. If I may say so this One pretty much did the same thing in terms of opening doors to kannada film industry like Baahubali did to tollywood. This one followed the formula and dubbed it in multiple languages and gave it a wide release worldwide which raised eyeballs and got me curious too esp caz this one has a similar plot with the rise of a hero and the hunger for power just set in a completely different world and era. Now the Strength here is the screenplay and the non-linear pattern which keeps you engaged, with the growth of Rocky being shown steadily. The film is set between 1951 to 2018 and maintains a sense of curiosity as each character is unveiled. Yash is Phenomenal in it as rocky. I said it back then when i watched it and i will say it again He exuded the same kind of charisma say like a 70′s 80′s hero e.g Mr Bachchan from his blockbuster hits where he Played similar roles or salman khan in his typical masala characters basically Larger than life even if he has this arc of being a nobody to Rocky Bhai to Rocky the messiah. One word of Caution... This one gets a lil confusing in Kannada and with subs as there are too many characters and each one has his/her own agenda. i was confused at many parts but then i watched the hindi dubbed version and it made a world of difference. this one is fairly well dubbed too just like baahubali and what i mean is the voices didn’t sound robotic. Also i personally felt they went a little too far with the dukhi junta in prison in 2nd half and the violence as in it got very tedious but thank God that got over soon with the rise of this hero but it is worth watching and rest of it is really good, esp the last 15 mins WOWWWWW I cannot wait for part 2. Also my only sandalwood entry.

p.s all dubbed versions are available on prime including Hindi but i have linked the kannada originals

Fidaa | tel |*Varun Tej, Sai Pallavi (on Prime as well) Two young people embark on a winding and rocky path to love after meeting at a wedding. First of all supercute romantic, comedy/ family drama but what is refreshing about it is that it is Mainly from the Heroine’s POV and we have a VERY STRONG heroine who has her opinions, her say ,her own thought process and who is just so real. On the surface it looks like just another tollywood rom com but it’s Not. the music is really Good too and Sai Pallavi is A bundle of joy as Bhanu who calls the shots mostly here. Needless to say it is one of my Feel good films when i want to see something that makes me smile and gives me that comfort vibe i go to this one mostly.

Tumbbad|hin|*soham shah . A man and his son encounter a legendary demon while searching for hidden treasure in 19th-century India.

This one will come as a surprise to many as it is a hindi title but This one a rare gem that is Underrated af and i haven’t seen a finer hindi film in the last year because of how rich it’s content is and how thought provoking it is. The makers have invested years in getting to final result and it shows. this one gave me goosebumps, sacred me, left me mesmerized and make me go WHAT too. This is also on this list because you may not have heard about it at all just like myself who had no idea and jumped into it out of supreme boredom and was left in complete awwwwww and then did my reading and research. This one is a well thought out psychological horror film with strong visuals and metaphors and makes you question as it plays with your mind. Tumbbad is a perfect example of a film that creates a surreal illusion.

Imaikkaa Nodigal| Tam| Nayanthara,Atharvaa, Anurag kashyap: alt link A suave CBI officer (Nayanthara), is in search of a serial killer who kidnaps and kills the children of important people. The killer, however, is targeting his nemesis next. a revenge thriller with a strong Plot unpredictable and amazing twists.Each character has an important role and Nayan As a Bad ass cop who freaking sets the bar too high for female officers in desi films. THis one is one of the finest Thrillers in recent years which actually gives you thrills and Shocks and most of them one can’t guess. Let me be honest i gave upon this seeing anurag kasyap as the antagonist as i was unable to bear rudra and just his Ottness on top of that atharvaa’s lovestory as the parallel track mad me go ehhh as i initially clicked on it for nayan and there was so little of her in the beginning but then i gave it another try and couldn’t stop & was WOWEDDD by the Film and Nayan as anjali and yeah she is the MAIN CHARACTER so we get a lot of her later. She is at her FINEST as anjali. this is the film one wants to watch to get a high of sorts. WATCH IT FOR NAYAAAN FOR A STRONG FEMALE ACTOR/CHARACTER Taking the center stage and BEING FANTASTIC. This one is so just so entertaining in so many ways and the film one can watch on any given day despite knowing the plot twist. Beware Nayan and Vijay’s little arc is heartbreaking and i cried a lot tooooooooo... i was shattered at that part..... it is so hauntingly shot too. TW: Graphic violence In that scene

Mahanati|Tel|* Dulquer Salmaan, keerthy suresh, samantha, vijay D |alt link Biopic based on The life story of South Indian actress Savitri, who took the film industry by storm in the late '50s and '60s Mahanati is a film about the rise of the first female south Indian superstar – Savitri. Her story one of the most heart wrenching romantic tragedies of our times.This film tells a story of the Mahanati; her life, her journey to fame, and the dramatic downfall. Keerthy Suresh, elegantly brought Savitri to life, and Gemini Ganesan, played by Dulquer Salman, makes this film a true pleasure to watch. I had no idea who Savitri was i went into it because DQ and Again was BLOWN AWAY by How well made this film is and how it is made with so much sensitivity and rawness. it keeps the real journey part intact as in doesn’t sugarcoats or overly glamorizes things to show Savitri as some mahaan hasti. They make this film the Grand celebration of her life with all her struggles and tragedies and makes you connect with her in a very real manner and All this Makes this film so much more than a film. this one becomes that Larger than life Grand,SHE IS A HERO More because she truly is rather than OH because she had this sob story IYKWIM like hindi Biopics do. They have made savitri Grand By her resilience by her courage by her will power and invested in the character and plot rather than all taam jhaam. This one is By far the best Biopic i’ve seen from desi industries and Not One and i mean it NOT one Hindi biopic even comes close to this one in terms of presentation. Keerthy suresh is a joy to watch as savitri. i am not gonna lie i broke down at few points and that is because of her acting and laughed too i connected so strongly to an actress’s story (who i had no idea about as in savitri i had 0 knowledge about savitri or in general about south industries retro eras ) only because of keerthy’s presentation.Also dulquer is a Joy as gemini ganeshan. he really slipped into it with ease and lived upto the part. they have achieved finesse in showcasing a life story and recreating old songs from black & white era. If nothing else on this list watch this and imaikaa nodigal and you won’t regret it

Rangasthalam |tel| *Ramcharan, Samantha : Chitti Babu, a hearing impaired boat skipper, becomes caught in the middle of a political feud in the village of Rangasthalam. Watch this one for Ram charan’s performance He is a delight to watch as chitti babua and this easily is his Best WORK till date this character have so much to play with and He ACES IT . The strong and intriguing story line is also a Plus . The film is not just set in the 80s; it also picks a story template from that era and narrates the tale in a refreshingly raw manner but the characters are so well fleshed out they don’t look caricatures by any means. the songs are grand and super fun to watch too.

Maari 2 |tam|* dhanush, sai pallavi : Maari, a gangster with a heart of gold, tangles with a new nemesis who is determined to bring about his downfall. First things first this one is mileas ahead of the previous version in everything. A much stronger film in every way. Otherwise it is a pure masala entertainer with all the masala elements and dhanush and sai make a BOMB pair and their lil story is ahh sooo full of feelz.

Sudani from Nigeria |Mal|* soubin shahir: When a soccer club manager brings one of his injured foreign players home to recuperate, they form an unlikely bond despite their cultural differences.. A refreshing sports drama that touches your heart. explores the cultural differences so beautifully. the characters stay with you much longer after the film is over. The film effortlessly explores iissues in the neighborhood and much bigger political issues too. overall SImply an underrated film and one should watch it for it’s warmth and sincerity.

Koode|Mal|*prithviraj,nazriya nazim, paravthy A family tragedy causes a young man to reflect on his childhood and reassess his future.Anjali Menon and that brilliant cast should eb your reason to watch. i don’t think i need to say another word to convince you but still anyway. it takes you on and emotional roller coaster ride. it is a flawless film with an extraordinary cast. also Naz is as charming as ever in her comeback film. there are very few films who actually jump into exploring the bond between a brother and sister and this one aces it with reflecting upon various issues and things they had to go throughasa family as well as their individual struggles. AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING. Also Paro and prithvi yeah. .. simply OUTSTANDING film

Varathan |mal|* fahadh faasil,Aishwariya lekshmi: After losing his job, Abin and his wife, Priya, move from Dubai to Priya's family estate in Kerala, but peace eludes the couple. It takes it’s time in the first half but in second it comes all guns blazing and turns into a worth watching survival thriller. it does makes one uneasy at times with the contsant stalker guys lurking around but it is all worth the wait at the end. trust me..

Chekka Chivantha Vaanam |tam| *vijay sethupathi,arinswami,jyothika,simbu; An attempt is made on the life of a reigning don, and it sets in motion a succession battle between his three sons. In other words Godfather with Mani ratnam twists A delicious film to devour it si an out and out maniratnam film with massy fan moments and smart filmmaking techniques. watch it for performances esp. i wish jyo had more to do but she is good at what she does in her supporting role. . this one is a true blue multi starrer ,family drama.

Merku Thodarchi Malai |tam| Antony, Gayatri Krishnan, Abu Valayamkulam : it revolves around the life and times of a group of people living along the foothills of the Western Ghats. basically we travel along with Rangu ( teh pratagonist) who is a daily wage worker and his struggles in bringing that load upto the city and his one dream to own a piece of land someday. this oen is almost like a documentary. this makes you thank and count your blessings. feel every bit of pain and effort and struggle that these daily wage workers have to go through in their daily lives. i broke down at so many points and i just wanted to do something to help makes lives a bit easier. IDK it hit me so hard at places and made me thankful for all the things i have.

Mayanaadhi |Mal|*tovino thomas,aishwariya lekshmi : A mule driver in a gang and an aspiring actress try to navigate their way through an unexpected romance. Mayaanadhi is a beautiful tale of love. The emotions it conveys needs to be experienced and the movie gives us a taste of life. Aashiq Abu really knocked it out of the park once again with this one. this one. It is a simple enough tale with a plot that is real to life and familiar.It is perhaps the most Soulful Romantic film i’ve seen in last year or so.

Takeoff|Mal|*parvathy,fahadh : A young Muslim woman (Parvathy) struggles to find love and happiness in midst of the ongoing civil war in Iraq. It an ode to the Indian spirit. This is a riveting survival saga, made by a team gifted with acute political and social awareness. It is, in one word, stunning. Paro Simply have slayed. A bit like airlift as in the basic setting and premise is similar but poles apart. it is one hell of a film( in a good way) PARO,PARO,PARO. this is all i have to say to explain the brilliance of it.

and with that this comes to an end.. again please feel free to share your thoughts and opinions with me i would love to see you guys actually taking the use of this list and sharing your thoughts. Bye and Have a Wonderful Summer binge watching these hehe. i hope you love them as much as i do. looking forward to your thoughts

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jana-reads · 5 years

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One of Us is Lying by Karen M. McManus

5 stars

361 pages

I can't tell you how much I loved this book. It's one of the books in long time that I read in one sitting.

It started out really well. I mean come on how can you not love a opening of that kind

A sex tape. A pregnancy scare. Two cheating scandals. And that's just this week's update. If all you knew of Baywiew High was Simon Kelleher's gossip app, you'd wonder how anyone found time to go to class.

Five people enter detention. All of them high school movie stereotypes indeed.

Addy: The princess, the pretty girl. Oh I hated her character in the beginning so much. "Oh my God, I have a pimple!" Tragic. She had no personality besides being Jake's girlfriend. But the moment she lost her boyfriend and started gaining personal agenda her POV became my favorite. She finally started making decisions for herself and didn't build her personality around Jake anymore. I adored her and Ashton's relationship development.

Bronwyn: The nerd. Always good at everything. From a prestigious family, who all have high expectations for her. I absolutely adored how she was 100% human from the start. Nervous abut her performances in, well basically, life. Her relationship with her sister was amazing. I also liked the way she and Nate ended up together and actually made it work. The to friends and from friends to lovers trope almost always gets me. I just wish it wasn't as instalove as it was, but with the events sequence, maybe it could work even.

Cooper: The jock. Good looking, good at sports. Every college wants to give him a a full ride. And that's all people see in him, popular and attractive jock. His dad is always pressuring him to improve at sports. For a long rime we, the readers, really don't see him as anything else either. [Spoiler: Later when we find out he's gay, it all makes more sense. I grew up closeted from my homophobic mother and can understand, why he was so reserved. I also really enjoyed how none of the quartet rejected him, after he was outed, and all of the stayed by his side. The part about professional spots leagues being homophobic is also sadly realism on that part. I also really like how he didn't end up dating another main character but rather a side character.]

Nate: The bad boy, the criminal. Known for dealing drugs and sleeping around. But there's more to it. There are only so many options to get by, when you're born into a shitty family. Everyone tries to play the best with the cards they are dealt. He doesn't have a good support network like everyone else and just tries his best.

Simon: The outcast. He's angry at the world. And he wants revenge.

Everyone but Simon walks away from the detention alive. And of course, the four left alive are automatically suspect of a murder. Ensues a shitstorm.

Talking about side characters. I really liked Ashton as a voice of reason and having some personality and insight on Addy's issues. Maeve was a really awesome member of the gang, a hacker and a younger sister, who isn't put down by their older sibling for being younger. Also the banter between the sisters and the mocking of crushes, perfect. I wish Jaene and Kris were a little more fleshed out though.

On a sidenote, is young adult genre running out of good names for guys. How many Simons are there.

#one of us is lying #karen m mcmanus #book review #books read #bookshelf #books #books and libraries #ya books #booksarelife #booklr #booklover #booklog #book notes #read #reader #currently reading #reading #readthisnow #bibliophile

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plums-from-the-icebox · 5 years

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Music asks! 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 22, 26, 27, 29, 30

1. your favorite album opener

Honestly? I’d have to say the “Prelude” from the Over the Garden Wall Soundtrack because it’s just such a beautifully-made composition that does an amazing job setting the tone for the series itself and the rest of the soundtrack

3. a song outside of your usual genre

Jolene by Dolly Parton

I don’t usually like a lot of country music but I do enjoy a couple and this one is definitely one of them

4. a song that reminds you of your favorite season

Lol sorry to say Over the Garden Wall music again but the song “Into the Unknown” definitely is the first to come to mind because I heavily associate that show with autumn

5. a song from a lifelong favorite artist

Killer Queen by Queen

6. your current “on repeat” song

Oh boy I usually go through weeks where I just sorta cycle through a selection of like 5+ songs I have on repeat for a bit of time but lately this week it has been Disturbia by Rihanna for some reason???

7. a song your friend introduced you to that you ended up loving

Square Hammer by Ghost

8. a song that speaks the words you couldn’t say

Talk to Me by Cavetown! It’s another song I listen to a lot when I am having a lot of anxiety and it just feels like the musical equivalent of being softly hugged and comforted imo, especially given the lyrics too!

9. a song that captures your aesthetic (can be ideal!)

This is an interesting question uhhh I guess the first one that pops into my head is Strawberry Afternoons by Lonely Benson. There’s probably a couple songs I could say fit what my aesthetic/ideal aesthetic is but yeah

22. a song you related to in the past and present, but for different reasons

still feel by half-alive

Past: I used to listen to this specifically when I went through really awful periods of depressive episodes and it was almost in a painfully ironic way in which I listened to this because I hadn’t really felt like I was alive and living, merely that I was operating a vessel (I know that’s kinda incredibly personal to even share with whoever ends up reading this on here but it’s true)

Present: I relate to it and consume it now in a more literal and very much non-ironic sense as I am able to connect to what I believe and interpret the song to mean; I feel the song is sort of supposed to be about continuining to push on in life even through one’s darkest and lowest moments. As someone that went from being insanely depressed to what felt like a point of no-return to getting significantly better/getting more help for my mental health issues, I just think it’s neat to have songs that remind me that I still feel, well, alive in the sense that I am here and still living all while pushing through.

26. a song that taught you a lesson

Here Comes a Thought from Steven Universe. I might not be super duper into the show anymore (at least not as much as I used to be in my high school years) but I definitely think this song had a positive impact on me as it does a genuinely good job at talking one through anxious thoughts

27. an instrumental song

We’ve Never Met But, Can We Have a Coffee or Something by in love with a ghost!

29. your favorite album closer

I legitimately cannot think of one that comes to mind rn is Closing by Philip Glass on his album “Glassworks”

30. your all-time favorite song

Idk if I can choose one singular song but a song that will always be timeless to me is Smile by Nat “King” Cole (technically a lot of people have covered this song but this version is probably my favorite one tbh)

***sidenote I apologize for taking what feels like a decade to actually answer these questions lol

#asks

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dingoes8myrp · 6 years

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That Pesky L-Word: Willow’s Label

I wrote a post about Willow and Oz’s relationship, focusing on the problems within the relationship itself and whether or not they could have been resolved. I came up with “Yeah, if Oz wasn’t so scared of being a werewolf to actually be a functional werewolf” with a sidenote of “But, there is the topic of Willow’s sexuality to discuss.” Here is that topic!

Short and sweet

There is no wrong answer. Willow loves who she loves when she loves them. But, I understand how important the gay label was at the time the show aired (and still is).

The nitty gritty

I have a gripe about how Willow’s sexuality was portrayed on the show. Joss Whedon has said that he’d intentionally tried to write both Willow and Xander so they could maybe turn out to be gay if he felt like it in the future. But, in the early seasons of the show, neither of them was written as questioning their sexuality in a way I consider legitimate. Part of this could have been because that kind of thing just wasn’t written well in TV at the time, and it was usually played for laughs or in a way that was uncomfortably stereotypical (even for shows that were trying to be progressive about it). Disclaimer aside, Willow’s early stage “questioning” was throwaway at best and played for laughs at worst. In Doppelgangland, we had Vamp!Willow - an evil doppelgangar from another dimension - who was very affectionate with Vamp!Xander, and then hit on… well, herself, presumably to make regular Willow uncomfortable. Willow made a comment: “That’s me as a vampire? I’m so evil, and skanky… and I think I’m kinda gay.”

Okay, here’s my gripe with this. Vampire Willow is evil and Willow doesn’t sound thrilled at the idea of herself being evil, skanky, AND GAY!!! Oh, the horror! Now, had this been an intentional foreshadowy breadcrumb we know the writer team is great at planting (see the Dawn plotline), they could have played this as a metaphor for Willow quietly beginning to question her sexuality and finding it scary. But, that’s not what they did. Vamp!Willow groped regular Willow and licked her face, and Willow made a throwaway quip played for laughs. Then it was all evil and gross to think about.

I cannot remember any other example pre-season four of Willow genuinely appearing to question her sexuality. I could make an argument that Willow had some attraction to Buffy here and there, but that would be purely speculative based on the chemistry of Sarah Michelle Gellar and Alyson Hannigan. I don’t think it would hold a lot of weight, if I’m honest (though if anyone wants to recommend some Buffy/Willow fanfiction or meta while we’re here I’d love to read it). If you have examples, please share! I don’t have the show handy to rewatch at the moment.

From seasons one through three, Willow is very attracted to Xander, Oz, and even Angel to a degree. That is demonstrated very clearly throughout. We never see her legitimately attracted to a female character without having to dig through dialogue and body language and what have you. If Willow was always meant to be gay, it was not addressed well in early seasons, in my opinion.

If we look at Xander, however, we have a bit more to work with. He has that confusing exchange with Larry in Phases in which he appears to be commiserating with being closeted. This is an entire sub-plot within the episode, so it’s more than a throwaway line, but it’s also highly played for laughs as well. He demonstrates what I would consider boy crushes. The first that comes to mind is Jack in The Zeppo, but that one’s a little lacking in evidence, just my interpretation of their interaction. Others include Riley, Spike, and Dracula (though, to be fair, he was mind-warped by Dracula). I genuinely believe Xander has displayed clear attraction to men throughout the show (mostly played for laughs).

If we compare the way Xander was written with the way Willow was written, there’s far less questioning happening on Willow’s side. This leads me to believe Joss may have originally planned for Xander to be gay when Seth Green left the show and it paved the way for Willow instead. Then the chemistry between Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson was excellent, so how could you not do something with that?

My other issue was how quickly Tara was written in as Willow’s love interest after Oz left. I forgive this because Seth Green leaving forced them to hurriedly rewrite their story. But, to me, at the time, it felt like an abrupt and out of character change for Willow, seeing how “straight” they’d written her the first three seasons (particularly when you compare her to Xander or even Faith and Buffy).

So, this is where the label becomes a problem for me as a writer of Willow fanfiction and an RP’er of Willow, Oz, and Tara (I’ve written each of them on different RP message boards). I understand that once Willow was with Tara she identified as gay and after Tara she continued to identify as gay. I think, as a character, Willow saw Tara as her endgame, and therefore identified as gay because, well, yeah, if she was going to be with Tara for the rest of eternity, then duh. That was always how I saw her taking that label. I never thought it was the same as her sort of swearing off all men forever. The way she was written throughout the whole run, if you look at the early and late seasons all together, I think it makes more sense that she’s bisexual, pansexual, or to just chuck the label altogether. She loves who she loves and during certain phases of her life, some people are better fits for her than others.

I understand, though, that this opinion offends people. Willow being labeled gay at the time the show aired was a big deal. It was the first time I saw a same-sex couple kiss on screen in a way that wasn’t comical. I believe Willow was one of the first main cast members to come out as gay in a primetime TV show. I genuinely believe that portrayal paved the way for a lot of other shows, particularly in the supernatural and fantasy genres. I also love Willow and Tara once they get going. It was a rocky start that could’ve been done better, but they’re one of the healthiest relationships on the show, in my opinion. I’m not trying to negate that. All I’m saying is, they could have written the lead up to it better.

Switching gears a bit, I’m going to talk about Kennedy.

Kennedy was badly written. There. I said it.

What I mean by that is we didn’t get a lot of background or development for her before she became Willow’s girlfriend right on the heels of Tara. We got time with Tara before she started dating Willow, and we got time with Tara and Willow before Tara became a part of the gang. The same goes for Anya when she started dating Xander, Angel when he started dating Buffy, Oz, Spike, Scott Hope. They cut corners with Kennedy, then they plunked her into a big set of Tara shoes to fill and she clunked around awkwardly in them. I’ve said before I believe Kennedy fell victim to the all-over-the-place that was season seven. There simply wasn’t a lot of room for her to get the amount of story she should have.

Taking what we know of Kennedy, I don’t buy her as a legitimate relationship for Willow. A short-term “let’s try this out” thing, maybe. But, Kennedy is abrasive, spoiled, and selfish. She reminds me a lot of early Cordelia and season three Faith (neither of whom meshed well with Willow). So, I’m still baffled that these two became an item.

In a post-Tara story line, I struggle with what to do with Willow. Because, with Tara out of the picture, to me it’s not out of the question that Willow could fall in love with a man (particularly either Xander or Oz, since they have pre-existing history and wrong-place-wrong-time kind of break-up scenarios). I honestly think she could fall for whoever she wanted and it would be totally in character for her.

My conclusion is, ultimately, I don’t think there’s a wrong answer here. She loves who she loves. If you’d rather label her, cool. You do you. But I’m not gonna.

#buffy the vampire slayer #willow rosenberg #dingometa #tillow

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